#how do I not have control like this? | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

quinloki · 7 months ago

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I control the story!

I'm writing it!

I decided when they kiss!

I want them to KISS!!

BUT THE STORY'S NOT READY FOR THEM TO KISS

So

I gotta Wait for the story

I CONTROL

to be ready.

/seethe/

#quin muses #I'm screaming #it's MY story!#how do I not have control like this?#I'm the one actively writing it \lol/#How Dare

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zillychu · 4 months ago

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everyone sh. shutd up im cooking smthn

#genshin impact #venti #what am i cooking?? no idea #oh this isnt canon? dont care leave me alone #i remember thinking years ago how badass it would be to have to fight all the archons in reverse order once u get to celestia #like. not that they want to. but celestia or the heavenly principles control them not thru the gnosis but thru their thrones #dont. dont think about it too much i do NOT have enough brains to keep up with accurate lore details #i just want to see venti having lied about being the 'weakest' archon. that bitch has a fucking church theres no way. also gap moe is hhh #fitting to have your first major ally end up being a final-ish boss fight #zilly art

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inkskinned · 26 days ago

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okay is she being actually immature or is it just a woman over 30 expressing a human experience you find to be immature.

like yeah. at certain ages... let shit go. im not defending the real immature shit. im not defending the karen you're picturing. i worked in retail i hate those people too. (once somebody got mad at me because she didn't like how our winter window decor was a snowman smoking a pipe. i wish i was joking).

but men at 57 will write books about how 17 year old girls are soooo sexy. they will invent worlds where women have to be naked for "armor reasons." they will write songs that treat women as objects. people rush to defend them. meanwhile a woman at 35 will be like "heartbreak is hard, actually" or "i feel betrayed by a friend" or "i am struggling with something emotionally." immediately people will say stuff like this woman is 35 by the way. by the way this woman is SO OLD to be experiencing this. BY THE WAY.

im 31, almost 32. the other day a poet was blasted online because at her "big age", she had written a poem about feeling unloved. top comment was "this woman is 29 by the way." this woman is too old to still be useful, by the way. she has to behave better . maybe if she was a good wife and mother she could stop existing loudly, and the story could continue on without her. this woman has served her purpose, by the way. she's so cringe, by the way. at 29 - so old! - she still hasn't figured out that her existence should be one of shame.

#what the fuck.#unfortunately by the time i'd switched accounts (from personal to my poetry one)#i couldn't find it :(#this is why u SEND URSELF THE POST. WHICH I KNOW TO DO BUT!!!#i was so mad i just was like “i'm about to tear this commenter in twain” and . lost da post #if u urself are the 29 and got recently flamed by instagram #i love u. come here. write with me. i was about to pick up a sword for u.#i mean a BIGASS sword.#like we all know im a wlw girlie but the way ppl will be like ''id NEVER write sad poetry about a MAN not LOVING me!!!"#..... wowwwww ur so cool. anyway. people often experience emotions regardless of what u consider cringe.#& if ur gonna shame straight/bi women for feeling a certain way. hope u never write about the #weird relationship between u and ur father. or feeling different from ur brother.#or how ur male best friend fucked u over. since it's SO CRINGE. to have ANY feelings caused by a MAN #like be so for real. beloved. nobody is fucking saying this when men do it.#''oh it's cringe to like a woman or feel heartbroken by her.''#controlling women's feelings and actions???? it's more likely than u think.#btw op is nonbinary do NOT be gender essential on this post i'll kill u with my teeth #edit: btw for the person who dm'd me ''when is it misogyny and when is it actually valid''#pretty easy. if a man had done it #would it be cringe? . like if a man sang a sad song about ''she broke my damn heart''?#if he said ''i want to have kids with her'' or something sexually explicit?? like would u even LIKE IT if a male poet had said it?#& if it's like. nah a 35 yr old man being upset about this is cringe too. yeah it's just cringe. that exists. we both know it does.#but .... often i see this ONLY about women. and i can't help but hear like. how back in middle school #we were fed the lie ''girls mature faster.'' ... why do i have to be emotionally regulated? but if a man wrote about the same things?#..... idk . im pretty anti cringe culture to begin with. but this one feels so bad to me . ur still a person past 33.

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mochasucculent · 2 months ago

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Was looking at refs and since Viktor has two different leg braces I was wondering, do we think he wears them simultaneously?? The refs don't perfectly line up perspective-wise so it's hard to tell but parts of the one he wears during the Hexcore scenes look like they could maybe line up with the brace that he wears over his clothes, but also some parts really don't and look like they'd be super uncomfy. Also HOW does he take these on and off. Experts weigh in

#viktor #arcane #ig my assumption would be that he wears both simultaneously cause in the scene where he injects the shimmer #it seems implied that he just threw off his clothes and kept experimenting #so one might assume he was already wearing the smaller one underneath #tho it is a funny image to think of him just being like 'one sec i gotta go all the way home and grab my other brace to do this'#he can take off the back brace too cause hes not wearing it in the scene where he's in the hospital bed and you can see his shoulder #where the strap would be #but that one seems to make even less sense functionality wise #everything looks like its screwed together #or screwed INTO him #but only the top bolts on his spine are i think #in the close ups of his back brace model it looks like theres cushioning underneath the parts of it that cover the rest of his spine #so he can take it off. but HOW #what parts of it unscrew/detatch to pull open and off #does it not do that at all and he just has to shimmy it off his shoulder and all the way down his legs to get it off like a romper #the shape language of the designs are cool but like. tell me how it wooorrkkksss #forgive me if im just dumb and dont know at all how braces work and theres a very simple practical explanation for all this #any king who wants to infodump about mobility aids at me....the floor is yours #something to be said i suppose about the fact that zaunites have crazy prosthetics with wild augmentations that work flawlessly #and piltover's like. idk heres some fucking uncomfortable ass metal. salo gets wheelchair in non ada compliant place #they havent ever needed to adapt to accommodate disabilities etc etc #or maybe artists were just like 'heres a design' and everybody clapped and didnt give it a second thought #and then they just turned off the visibility on the mesh when they didnt need it knowing thered not be a scene where its taken off #dont even wanna THINK about what that rig would look like #like 40 different controllers #soft body and rigid hard surfaces needing to move together....#a cold chill just shot up my spine #<- guy who is only an animator and doesnt know how to rig #forgive the magic wand tool with zero cleanup. i am lazy

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lotus-pear · 1 month ago

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i love you royal trio (minus akechi)

#i was listening to the world we knew by frank sinatra while drawing this to inflict maximum emotional damage 😔#royal actually shot me fifty times in the chest and slaughtered my entire family #i’m actually inconsolable over the ending what the fuck do you mean akechi chooses to die of his own volition rather than be manipulated #god it’s just. his character actually makes me violent and insane. they’re going to drag me kicking and screaming to the psych ward #he never had an ounce of control over his life. not even once. he was CONSTANTLY being yanked around like a marionette #until he was disposed of as another pawn in shido’s plan #and then out of some cruel irony he was resurrected even though he did not want to be alive #for once in death he would have found peace—only for that to be taken from him too.#and bc he thinks he’s worthless and his life is so easily gambled away he doesn’t view it as a major dealbreaker when maruki brings it up #“do you really think something as trivial as my life should stand in the way of your decision?” yes you fucking asshole #what do you mean he’s literally fated to die in every timeline? definition of doomed by the narrative #there’s not a single version of his story that doesn’t end with him being slaughtered #GODDDDD he makes me violently ill i hate goro akechi so much he’s so fucking selfish HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT THIS DEAL IS TEARING ME APART #i was so tempted to get the bad ending just so that he was alive ☹️#he looked so happy. he was surrounded by people who loved and treasured him.no shido. control over his life. the ability to choose his futu #TEARS IN MY EYES MARUKI WAS THE ONLY VILLAIN WHO WAS LOWKEY MAKING SENSE 😭😭😭😭😭#my toxic trait is that i think maruki was right all along 😔#ALSO SUMIRE AAUUGGHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#the survivors guilt literally eating her alive until the point where she gaslighted herself into thinking she was her sister. insane.#royal was so good bro i’m so glad i endured 200 hours of hell just to play it #terrible terrible ending with everyone going their separate ways and ren ending up in juvie for months #akechi actually being dead in the good ending is so fucked up 😭😭 i thought there was some way maruki could bring him back regardless #not ren hallucinating him in the last cutscene too 😭😭😭😭 “i still see your shadows in my room” ahh ending #persona 5 royal #persona 5 #ren amamiya #akira kurusu #sumire yoshizawa #goro akechi #lotus draws

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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 6 months ago

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Kiss Kiss Fallen Tree!

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #Sorry to everyone who was looking forwards to this comic only to find out I put WWX in the ugliest outfit.#Continuity came first. Plus let's be honest; he did *not* show up in anything fancy. Or in all black as seen in most fanart.#We are at the middle of WWX depression arc. His self-care was 100% because Jin Yanli would be sad if he didn't try to look nice.#Okay okay. Fine I've delayed talking about the kiss long enough.#It is absolutely a core LWJ scene over a WWX scene. Which is made even more fascinating because we don't get his POV.#But we get so many insights! His loss of control and his firmness all contrasted against how he trembles.#And all of that wrapped up in a wonderful self-loathing bow! You go Lan Zhan! You hated yourself so much for this!#WWX is a hilarious narrator for this because he is truly just...baffled by what's going on.#He would push the person away but he doesn't want to hurt their feelings or pride (putting other people first again are we?)#I do understand why this one is divisive for people though. I choose to look at it through a character/humourous lens.#I've seen people defend and admonish this scene as a particularly shitty thing LWJ did and let's be very clear here: It was.#That's why I like it. LWJ did a shitty thing and struggles with it. It's part of what makes him so robust as a character.#It's also fine if you enjoy this scene for it's eroticism. You're not a bad person for that. You are just A Person.#People will have their own experiences with this topic. Be kind to each other alright?

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nhura · 5 months ago

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QUICK NO ONE'S LOOKING

(See readmore for thoughts, cope, bonus, etc.)

Anyone else up thinking about Ratio's big, strong, secure arms and how warm and all-consuming they could be in a hug or embrace. :/ Anyway

I just wanted to draw them being cute and seizing a sliver of a moment where they could have some PDA silly time without actually having any eyes on them. They're public figures and working adults with very clear boundaries between public persona and private life (to varying degrees of "in a sad way"), so while it may be in Aventurine's nature to constantly blur lines for various agendas and self-preservation (read: play "the flirt" without an aligned goal), I believe that in an actual relationship they'd be fairly private.

It's kind of fun to break your own rules, though! Ratio would be more upset about the consequences, though. He's a little bit of a hypocrite, which is devastating for someone of such discipline, but nobody's perfect.

I'm of the mentality of, "If you're tired of working on it, then just post it!", so here are some fun peripherals that I didn't feel like adding:

Some staff in the background sweeping up to evoke a blended sense of fragile privacy and liminal time.

A laptop on the aquarium/bar/counter because there's something fascinating about seeing people on their work laptops in public.

The rest of their clothes (casual friday)

#hsr #dr. ratio #aventurine #aventio #ratiorine #my art #hsr fanart #there's nothing profound about this I just like drawing cute fluff. I'm having fun with my Gay Working Adults Romance #epic universe! still have to get on a conference call with ten people kind of thing #i'm always thinking about how both of them control the personality they convey very meticulously #how it's a survival mechanism for aventurine but some... other thing for ratio....#it's practicality and discipline and ideals.#it's also ''midnight on a sunday'' so i am going to schedule this to post at a ''normal hour''#and then ''go to bed''#what wip do i work on next. the answer is probably nothing i've already started #my art: hsr #aventurine doing his evil flirting thing to rile people up 🤝 ratio trying to ''be in character'' on the IPC broadcast and making his and #aventurine's work partnership ''seem blurry and messy''#= manufactured youtuber drama #they're going home and ratio's going to bake some fish dude!!!! aventurine is LLLLLLITERALLLYYYYY turning on the radio #and helping him peel carrots.#and most importantly #they are NOT googling themselves ‼

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sophsicle · 2 months ago

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here's the thing. whenever u say "eat the rich" the rich automatically make a sad lil face :( :( :( and go "well that's not very nice. what if we turned around and said eat the poor, huh? that wouldn't make you feel very good, would it?" which is. an insane statement to make. because baby, honey, sweetheart. you are eating the poor. every goddamn day you are eating the poor. and worst of all. you aren't even fucking hungry.

#i will actually never get over how much “nice” is used as a form of social control #like you even saw it after the american election right?#where all the republicans were like “cutting me off isn't very nice”#and like women constantly are told they will not be listened to or tolerated if they cannot communicate “nicely”#i am so uninterested in nice #useless 2 me actually #i think people should have human rights and a reasonable standard of living #but do not misunderstand i am a bitch #soph rambles

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yhwcomeback · 2 months ago

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Goodbye Yellow Brick Road! bonus:

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thewisestdino · 2 months ago

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Longtail with 15!

I am a good person. I am a powerful person. I don't believe in evil. I think that evil is an idea created by others to avoid dealing with their own nature. I understand my own nature. Good and evil have nothing to do with it. I understand myself. I control myself. I control everything within myself. My domain is my domain. I can lie on my back and affect the lives of those I love without moving a finger. But I would only affect them in good ways. I don't waste time on evil. I'm a good person. Is this thing on? Do you know about Jesus? Do you really know? All you know is what you've been told. Listen with your heart. Sing with your heart. You've just been singing about girls. What do you know about girls? Fuck... Why are you so tense?

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katabay · 6 months ago

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THERE AIN'T NO ATLAS, KID. NEVER WAS.

if you peel him back far enough, there's nothing but a pile of theater masks

like, it's really fun how fontaine starts spiralling out the closer jack gets to him in the final arc of the game and returns to appropriating the image of family (the fake family in the beginning, the flawed father position later) to try and appeal to jack in some way but it's like. buddy. baby. you already took off your mask. anything you try and put on after this is going to come across as cheap and desperate. the magic is gone! and personally? I'm hooting and hollering

⭐ places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app / insta

#like it's SOOOOOOO funny how he tries to pull the family angle again especially because he's sort of mimicking ryan #by trying to appropriate the father role over jack (the role of father being one of control #which. so you know how the fascist state works. right. if i start talking about roman history and the father of the state thing #will i start to lose people. im gonna do it anyway. SO-- [i am forcibly removed from the podium])#esp bc it's like. fontaine did the locks and keys for jack's mind but it's suchong we hear jack address with a familial term in #a recording. which is also. very. aughghgh. because we know what kind of person suchong is! (supernatural voice) family is hell #(not supernatural voice) you can choose to break the chains tho #i know i keep talking about the absolutely batshit family themes going on in bioshock esp w/ fontaine's father appropriation #but it's because the game has so much fascist dialogue coming out of ryan at full blast it would be EGREGIOUS not to think about it #i have some weird comic about intimacy via radios because it's enough of an immersive sim that i started thinking thoughts #about how I felt about the voice on the radio. and also. uhhhhhhhhhhhh. lobotomies.#(unsurprisingly I once had a jack/atlas-fontaine phase lmao)#bioshock #frank fontaine

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xxplastic-cubexx · 3 months ago

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the way u tuck charles hair behind his ear like a dainty elf princess whenever u draw him sends me every time, i know erik would agree 🙏🏻

i fear im adopting 'dainty elf princess' into my vocabulary here on out thank you for this wonderful gift anon

might you accept my small gift in turn ... i was inspired ...

#mcu #xmen movies #xmen #xmen first class #cherik #charles xavier #erik lehnsherr #professor x #magneto #snap sketches #my god the image is so small plesae click/tap it to look at it thank you #MY FIRST CLASS THIS MORNING GOT CANCELLED irony. we call that irony.#but yah thats why i offer you ... a small token of my appreciation ... for i had a liiil extra time today #if i didnt control myself i prob coudlve accidentally turned this into a whole page but we practice restraint around here #actually i started this last night and only finished it this moring. after the class i actually had of course #because i severely underestimate how slow i work lol but anyway ..... //giggles and kick my feet//#i love drawing so much i get to draw whatever i want and giggle and kick my feet all day about it #i havent made a comic in a while .. even if its just a short one like this oooh i miss it .. i love drawin comics ft gay people #there somethin special bout tuckin someones hair behind their ear... while they have hair anyway...#thank you very much for liking how i draw charles as a dainty elf princess i'll continue to do as much until i die !!!!!!#im eating tho. i didnt eat yet and its like lunch time BYYYYYEEEEE

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daily-odile · 1 year ago

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everything is the same except Odile is the one looping

oh. heheheheh. muahahahaha. hold on *digs through my pile of disorganized sketches*

Odile loops au; a sketch compilation!!

Some old fic drabbles + associated sketches under cut (a6 secret spoilers):

hc: Since equipment carries over, as long as Odile uses her book in a fight, she can write down notes and have it carry over loops

toxic doomed yuri (for a more fleshed out fic I highly recommend The Sweetest Thing by soreimoon, it's amazing)

#isat #odile loops au #in stars and time #isat spoilers #isat odile #odile timeloop au #congrats on unleashing the hell gates of odile looping au!!! I've thought about it a bunch!!!!!#contexts:#candy is a reference to sasasap i think. not sure if odile likes candy though #i think it'd be funny if odile struggled with understanding how shields work for a bit. she spends several loops asking mirabelle for help #I think odile would actually spend more time in the loops once she's sure she can just loop again. They're not actually in a rush after all #and she might as well maximize her loops #under cut:#she leaves all of her excess books with loop. Loop has another thing to do while waiting #yes loop is still you know who in this one #toxic doomed yuri is just very self indulgent teehee thanks discord folks #not depicted: I also think that the more loops she does the more she views them as experiments #with variables to control and test #that's where she starts falling off the deep end and start testing stuff like. not warning siffrin about the rock #(instantly regrets it though. loops back the first time she tries)#day 26 today?#A big one! Have funnn #you can tell some of these are really old by the different colored background lmfao #isat au

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inkskinned · 1 year ago

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hey btw if you're in the USA at 2:20 p.m. ET on Wednesday, Oct. 4, they're testing the emergency broadcast system. your phone is probably going to make a really loud noise, even if it's on silent. there's a backup date on the 11th if they need to postpone it.

if you're not in a safe situation and have an extra phone, you should turn that phone completely off beforehand.

additionally, if you're like me, and are easily startled; i recommend treating it like a party. have a countdown or something. be surrounded by your loved ones. take the actions you personally need to take to make yourself safe.

i have already seen mockery towards any person who feels nervous about this. for the record, it completely, completely valid to have "emergency broadcast sounds" be an anxiety trigger. do not let other people make fun of you for that. emergency sounds are legitimately engineered to make us take action; those of us with high levels of anxiety and/or neurodivergence are already pre-disposed to have a Bad Time. sometimes it is best to acknowledge that the situation will be triggering for some, and to prepare for that; rather than just saying "well that's stupid, it's just a test."

"loud scary sound time" isn't like, my favorite thing, but we can at least try to prevent some additional anxiety by preparing for it. maybe get yourself a cake? noise cancelling headphones? the new hozier album? whatever helps. love u, hope you're okay. we are gonna ride it out together.

#watching ppl go from being like ''support neurodivergent ppl~~!"#to being like ''if this is going to give u a panic attack ur fuckken stupid''#like..... gets me #yeah man. i know im going to be triggered by it . in the old fashioned term. it is GOING to give me a panic attack. it's pretty much certai #and i shouldn't have to tell u about what i have survived for you to be okay with that.#you can just trust that i ALSO don't want me to react to it. i'm not gonna be having a FUN time.#dismissing that bc you think it's stupid.... like is the whole problem.#these sounds are workshopped by entire teams of people to get you to pay attention and move quickly.#they arent meant to be fun and exciting.#OBVIOUSLY it's gonna set ppl off.#but yeah there's something so fuckken demeaning about ppl being like. well that trigger isn't valid bc u haven't undergone X #dude i have ptsd bc i was abused as a child. like plain and simple. the fact im 30 and afraid of the dark tells you how bad it was.#i shouldn't have to ask u for permission to be mentally ill.#the reason it's a fucking disorder and not a fucking choice is that I DO NOT CONTROL IT.#like how is it any different from when ppl are like ''oh public speaking isn't that scary'' like FOR YOU #for YOU this isn't scary. now if i could fucking eat my own amygdala...

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trauma-bot · 3 months ago

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sin eater

#sorry its been a minute!!! the horrors. you understand.#anyways yall ready for another gloom tag essay because here we go!!!#im constantly thinking about the ramifications of uzi literally eating cyn and her now being apart of her.#specifically how it impacts uzi mentally. like dgmw i LOVE the silly cyntail shenanigans in fanart (ive also contributed to this) however #when i really think about it in relation to uzi's arc i go crazy insane #uzi is a character who is grasping for control after a lifetime of not having it.#she has no control over how her peers treat her. she has no control over khan neglecting her for reasons that arent her fault.#she quite literally has no control over the solver taking her over and making her do monstrous things against her will #which solidifies her feelings of being a freak monster who everyone was right to outcast and mistreat.#because im Unwell i interpret her calling herself god as a way to convince herself of having control- and to lock away feelings of impurity #if anyone is in control- if anyone is loved and cherished despite any and all wrong doings- its a god.#and that all comes to a head when she eats the heart of cyn thereby destroying the AS- a literal manifestation of a corrupted god- for good #finally taking back control from the entity that had been terrorizing and traumatizing both her and her loved ones. but did she really?#cyn is apart of her now. powerless sure- but that doesnt take away the horrors she wrought previously #and even so- has uzi ever stopped being just a host? do you think shes terrified of cyn regaining power out of the blue?#do you think uzi ever stops feeling like a monster?#“sin eating” was a thing that happened where someone would consume ritual foods to take on the sins of a recently deceased person #thus absolving said deceased person of any sins and putting them onto the sin eater. being a sin eater ensured eternal damnation.#and i just think about that a lot. when applying that (symbolically ofc(somewhat literally. she very much is a cyn eater)) to what uzi did.#“gloom you're reading way too much into this” THE LITTLE GOTH ROBOT. MAKES ME INSANE IN THE HEAD. OK!!!!!#gloom.art #murder drones #murder drones fanart #murder drones uzi #uzi murder drones #uzi doorman #uzi md #md uzi #uzi fanart

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lotus-pear · 4 months ago

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the dialogue choices in this game should be more diabolical

#i love akechi but i sometimes i wish you could bully him like no matter which dialogue u pick it sounds like ur flirting back w him #“i'm going to be completely honest with you. i've always hated you” why can't u say smt unserious back #like “sorry i have a snatched waist and correct opinions on everything.” or like “ur loss lmao”#hate playing darts with this bitch bc i play on a steamdeck and i don't have a fucking gyroscope so like #it's trying to replicate how the joycons or pro controller would throw AND ITS SUCKS SO BAD #like i just see akechi get a hat trick every single fucking time with three bulls in a row and meanwhile im struggling to line the thing up #and then after u finish he's like “hmm i see. that's an interesting way to play it” WHAT THE FUCK THERES LITERALLY NO STRATEGY HERE SMARTAS #I JUST MISSED. IM NOT STRATEGIZING. THERES NOTHING “INTERESTING” ABOUT IT.#i hate going to penguin snipers so much i hope i can get this stupid game on switch so i can actually rank up akechi's baton pass #and not waste like 1000 yen every night bc i refuse to not let a party member be on rank 3 #akechi fuck yourself why can't we play 501 like we do with everyone else. why do u have to make everything abt this stupid rivalry #im gonna kms i hate akeci and i hate darts #persona 5 #persona 5 royal #p5 #p5r #goro akechi #ren amamiya #akira kurusu #shuake #akeshu #lotus draws

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