#how do I always end up writing rambling essays on Sundays? not sure....

[lickingyellowpaint]

You seem to have a real passion for collecting antiques. Specifically WWII stuff. What was the draw?

@doppleganger-rental - answering your question and then some...

Suffice to say, antique stores make me dreamy and breathless and peaceful and excited all at once. I could get super-poetic about that but I'll save that for poetry itself.

Some of my first childhood fascinations inevitably came with the warning, "Now, be careful with this - it's very old." Mom was a history teacher. Dad was a hoarder with a special fondness for vintage cameras, dusty old metal toys, and a best friend whose big band concerts are some of my first memories. Grandpa served in WWII but passed before I was born. Great-aunt (who served in Tokyo but in a safer, more ladylike role) had collected delicate dollhouse furniture for 30 years before I came along. I spent long stretches of summer in the southern part of the state, where 100-year-old barns and plenty of ghost signs were the norm. We have an 1800s celebrity in the family genes, too, so stories have always been told and a certain appreciation for the past always ingrained.

And it's possible none of this would have mattered to me at all if I weren't so constantly surrounded by vintage stuff, and weren't such an avid reader as a kiddo. I loved Little House on the Prairie, Catherine Called Birdy, Summer of my German Soldier, Caddie Woodlawn as much as I liked Babysitter's Club.

I fell in love with every era except my own, it seemed.

Hell, I outright rejected my own, and grew into the most pretentious 8th-grader you could meet. Everyone was obsessing over Britney and N*SYNC; I had a little CD carrier full of Who CDs and schlepped around a giant Beatles picture book at recess. I had grown up on jazz standards, the oldies station and the Stop Making Sense VHS, and I was dead certain that everything else was garbage. Everyone was gaga over Timberlake while I was swooning over James Dean. I came home after school, where I simply couldn't relate to finding the Backstreet Boys cute or talented, and put on records. Records were one of the first collections. (And oh, the stories I could tell about the 60s rock stars I've met, but that's another post maybe.) Anyway, you get the idea.

Another important detail: I'm a writer, and have aphantasia. Sucky mix. If I wanna write about the past, I have to see and touch the past. It's just a thing. The lifelong interest and passion ties in with that necessity nicely.

In my current phases of collecting, I'm kinda emotionally compensating for a lot that I've, super unfortunately and regretfully, lost. When I turned 13, I was gifted an ornate trunk and a book, both 100 years old, and those were my first non-miniature pieces. Some years later, the trunk got lost in a move (goddamn it), as did the posters signed to me by a casual friend who was a well-known acquaintance of the Beatles just-pre-Hamburg (extra goddamn it, god fucking damn it!), an 1890s wedding dress gifted to me by a family friend, some family heirloom silverware as well as a couple other things.

Now that I can afford to buy more pieces, I have vowed to take way better care of the things that fall into my adoring hands. And I definitely have my favorite eras, and antique and vintage are different animals.

Victorian: I was writing a book about a Victorian historical figure. This plan has since died since someone else beat me to the punch, but while trying to reach out and touch/see/feel that time enough to write about it, I ended up collecting all sorts of old photographs, a nice hairbrush set, 1800s newspapers - mostly paper stuff. When the Victorian obsession was full-force, I couldn't afford shit, so stuck to whatever was cheapest at the shops (and to this day, a gloomy mood will send me to the nearest antique store for a $2 pick-me-up of an old picture.) I did luck out in my early 20s, befriending a fellow violin enthusiast who had inherited his grandfather's library and would occasionally have one-dollar sale days, so as a result, I've got about 50 books from the 1800s. I think the oldest I have is 1827, but I'd have to peek at it again to be sure.

1960s: Records, clothes, magazines, advertisement pages, jewelry - it's a mod mod world and the aesthetic hill I've been dying on for 20 years. I mainly shop thrift store, and if it looks like something Pattie Boyd would have worn, I'm buying it (and then popping to Target for tights in the right color to go with.)

1940s: Records and magazines mostly. So far, anyway. I like it the concept of branching out into more items well enough, but the older stuff is, the less affordable it's going to be for my budget.

1950s: This is a newer thing for me, but where I'm spending most of my fun money. (No lie, I live off dollar store groceries so I have more saved to buy vintage.) The color palettes of that era! God! Disgusting in the best way! I've got plenty of records and magazines, plenty of militaria, but the Philco TV is the indisputable gem of the collection.

Speaking of militaria...

WWII: Look, I know just as much about WWII as anyone else who'd choose World War II in Color documentaries as an entertaining weekend watch. I'm not into the weapons and Nazi stuff the way many collectors are. I've got a mid-40s medal ribbon bar, a near-pristine 1944 officer's coat and some letters soldiers wrote home (which I'm about to get more of next week.) It's interesting but as for passion, you're off by a few years...

Korean War: Blame MASH! I sure do!!! As collectibles go, Korean runs cheaper as a rule than WWII. But again, zero interest in weaponry or technical gadgets. Letters, some uniform pieces, various paper stuff and most recently, a couple of 'sweetheart pillows' with intent for more. My mom asked me what I wanted for my birthday in March and "more Korean War stuff" was my main answer. (I could've said an eye doctor visit or new phone - thanks, family plan - but hey, I never said my priorities were sane, just priorities.) If it came down to dire need for funds, I'd sell the WWII pieces before I ever sold any of this. Don't ask me why.

What's beginning to feel sort of gloomy about it all, though, is that I've been something of a doomer since my teen years. I've never strived too hard in life for the usual things - higher education, good job, good money, house, kids, etc. - partly because debt's a trap but mainly because of climate change stuff. Shit's fucked and getting more fucked by the year. If subconsciously I'm cultivating and holding onto all of this to someday pass down for the enjoyment of future generations..... lmfao. We're on borrowed time at this point, truly.

I will love and protect what I can, for as long as I can. And I really, really, really do love it. From the great-aunt's vintage dollhouse furniture and my grandma's locket with the only picture of my grandpa that I have, to the eBay and antique store finds I take a shine to, nothing excites me like having the past in my hands.

[zukkaoru]

shhh i’m not on my phone at work got a second wHAT

35:) ramble to me, babe

35. ramble about any fic-related thing you want

corey this is so vague i don't even know where to begin skjgdfhdj uhhhhh what do i want to ramble about,,

WAIT OKAY I GOT IT

okay so back in like. february i think i did another ask game like this and someone (jo?? maybe???) sent an ask about meta/foreshadowing/hidden references for this ultraviolet morning light and at the time, only the first two(?) chapters were out so i couldn't talk about the foreshadowing, bc it was all leading up to the end of chapter six. but i can talk about it now bc the whole fic is up!!

i'll put it under the cut bc i know it'll be long + spoilers for those who haven't yet read tuvml

fic writer ask game

okay so first. all of the foreshadowing for the drowning scene. maybe i did already have a list of these in my google docs in case anyone every asked, maybe not, i won't say

anyway. i added in water/drowning imagery with zuko specifically in this fic, because of the drowning scene, and especially bc in the atla world, water imagery would generally be used with characters from the water tribes rather than someone from the fire nation. so it wasn't just me liking water-related words and shoving them onto zuko for no reason; it was intentional

chapter one:

- He really can’t think of anything more beautiful than Zuko drenched in moonlight - This is what fire feels like when doused with water. - It burns like fire consuming Sokka’s entire body, like he’s been dunked underwater and the surface has frozen over and his lungs are about to give out, but he’s going to keep hitting the ice anyways like he’s strong enough to break it.

chapter two:

- It washes over his body all at once, like a wave pulling him under the surface of the ocean, until his limbs are numb and tingly and his head sways. He’s completely frozen in place, eyes staring straight ahead but not really seeing anything. - He would’ve rather stood across from Azula in the Agni Kai arena and let her shoot him full of lightning, rather been dropped in the middle of the ocean

chapter three:

- Zuko searches the tumultuous ocean that is his mind for the right words - Zuko was telling them about Azula never quite getting the knack for swimming despite their annual vacations to Ember Island when they were little, and Sokka was so happy.

chapter four:

So he lets the words sink, lets them drown in the knowledge that he no longer has the right to talk to Sokka in the same way he used to.

chapter five:

The moonlight pours over him, drowning him in a soft white glow.

chapter six:

But…my doctors have told me that spending the rest of your life letting yourself drown in guilt isn’t going to help anyone.

also, people picked up on vai being a double agent, but no one picked up on the fact that she was a waterbender, even though i did hint at that too:

- Her brown skin is almost as dark as Sokka’s and her face and arms are covered in freckles. - It reminds Sokka of himself a little; the bright blue eyes of a waterbender but no bending ability to speak of. - How can you get better than a play with dragons, a star-crossed love affair, sun and moon symbolism, and a villain who has a secret past that ties them to the protagonist?

beyond that, there are also a lot of parallels/call backs to previous chapters/foreshadowing to future scenes just in general. the funniest one (and also completely unintentional one) is probably sokka and katara calling each other their least favorite [sibling]

“You’re my least favorite sister,” // You are, and I say this from the bottom of my heart, my least favorite brother ever. chapter 1 // epilogue

but there are. several more. and i'm not sure how many of them people picked up on so i will add them all bc i love them <3

Zuko would get himself arrested, kidnapped, killed, whatever if it would keep Sokka safe. // “I would give my life for [Zuko] without a second thought.” … “But would he do the same for you?” chapter 4 // chapter 6

When Sokka’s hand began to retreat, Zuko had reached forward, grabbed it, and whispered, “Please stay.” // “Don’t leave me.” Sokka says it like a prayer … like he would repeat it until he couldn’t remember anything else if it meant Zuko would keep holding him. “Just… stay.” chapter 5 // chapter 7

So they sit - Sokka and Zuko - on the roof of some abandoned building in the outskirts of the city. // “But now I’m pretty sure we’re just destined to be Sokka and Zuko” chapter 5 // chapter 7

“I just don’t think he’s trustworthy enough for this. … when he proves that he isn’t as reliable as you think - when he proves that he’s only ever going to let you down - I’m going to say I told you so.” // “Zuko is kind, and he is trustworthy and reliable. He’d never purposefully let me down” chapter 3 // chapter 6

this ^ was one i was hoping people would pick up on bc it makes the drowning scene/sokka pleading for vai to not hurt zuko that much angstier, but i'm not sure anyone did so now i'm putting those lines right next to each other so you're all forced to confront the pain <3

Is he still in love with Zuko? Is being in love enough? // But what good is any of that? Love isn’t always enough. // “It doesn’t matter who or where feels like home, it doesn’t matter if we’re in love. When you’re next in line for the throne, love isn’t enough.” chapter 3 // chapter 4 // chapter 6

Zuko warms his other hand on instinct, and apparently it was a good call because Sokka squeezes it tighter and presses closer to Zuko. “I forgot my mittens at home,” // I love you doesn’t always take the shape of those three words. … Sometimes, it’s Have you eaten today? or Don’t forget your mittens again! chapter 1 // chapter 6

this ^ is also one i thought people might pick up on but idk if anyone did or not. but it made me🥺🥺 when i wrote it

[religion tw for the last part]

okay i could leave it there but corey gave me an excuse to ramble and i've made the post this long anyways so one more thing! i explained this to corey a while ago when we were having dinner together but i find it very funny so i'm sharing it with all of you i say like anyone has actually read this far

i accidentally made zuko a Christ Figure in tuvml

"but grace, surely that's not possible," you say. "surely there's no way zuko is a christ figure! there aren't any christian themes in tuvml. you didn't even have anyone try to convince vai to forgive zuko or have anyone convince zuko and sokka that they should forgive vai! how could you have a christ figure in your fic???"

let me set the scene. it's 2019, you're a senior in high school, and you decided to take ap literature for the possibility of college credit. your teacher has this book called how to read literature like a professor that he has his classes read chapters from, and one of those chapters talks about Christ Figures in literature. one of those chapters also talks about baptism symbolism, and mentions how oftentimes, characters who are christ figures will go through a baptism of some sort - being "born again" after a scene where they come out of the water

do you want to know what zuko does in this ultraviolet morning light?

he goes into the water. and then he comes back out.

and do you want to know what i had sokka say about zuko shortly before he took a dive into the baptistry water?

Zuko looks away from him, resigned, like he’s ready to die as atonement.

see. i grew up Christian, i went to church every sunday and i have spent the majority of my life memorizing Bible verses either for awana or bible quizzing and. sometimes i just drop biblical words into my writing sometimes bc they're words i've heard since i was a kid, and they're words i learned make you sound smarter at church. so of course i throw them around while writing. i use them in essays, i use them in poetry, and i use them in fan fiction.

so was i trying to make zuko a christ figure in my fic? absolutely not.

but i had sokka say he looked ready to die as atonement (for the sins of his people), and then i had him go into the water, nearly die, and have to be "brought back to life" by suki's cpr, being "born again" after a "baptism" and

well

accidental christ figure zuko i guess

anyway. this went on for a while and i'm not sure anyone bothered reading all of it which. valid.

thank you corey for letting me ramble skjdgfdjgh i'm not sure this is coherent, nor should it have all been in one post, but whatever

[flvcr]

— ( harry styles, twenty-five, cismale, he/him ) did you see ETIENNE FLUOR walking down main street earlier? you know who i’m talking about, they’re a POTTER / HOCKEY PLAYER. everybody in town says that they’re IDEALISTIC & INTUITIVE, but have a tendency to be UNPREDICTABLE & DESTRUCTIVE too. ETIENNE has been in town for THREE years. c'mon, they’re always requesting RUNNIN’ WITH THE DEVIL BY VAN HALEN at karaoke nights. well, i’m sure you’ll see them soon! @westmerestarters​

hiya! i am kt &+ underneath the read more is a LOT of info about my bb, etienne. ** insert clown emoji but make ‘em yee-haw ** if you’d like to plot you can reach me on here or at space cowboy#8536 on discord !! <33 v excited to interact with y’all and your bbs !!

𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖎𝖈𝖘

name: etienne ‘ marcel ‘ fluor. 

nicknames: goes by marcel, only allowing very few people to call him etienne.

gender / pronouns : cismale / he, him.

age: twenty-five.

birthday: june 27th.

zodiac: cancer !!

orientation: pansexual / panromantic.

occupation: hockey player ( currently injured ) // potter ( for fun ) !!

languages spoken: french, english & italian.

𝖎𝖓𝖘𝖕𝖎𝖗𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

- PINTEREST - featuring his wardrobe, his home, his aesthetic, some character inspo and olive, his german shepard pup !!

- SPOTIFY PLAYLIST - what he is currently listening to !!

personality type: INFJ-T / THE ADVOCATE

moral alignment: chaotic good

style-wise: etienne is v stylish, but isn’t overly flashy by any means. he’s intuitive in the sense of what works and what doesn’t. willing to explore the latest wardrobe craze, but also just likes what he likes and likely won’t venture out unless pressed by another to do so. post coming soon for his wardrobe !!! they say that the cancer man’s clothing is selected to reflect “ sophistication over flash “ but kdgjn i’ll let ya’ll be the judge of that. he’s v much harry inspired clothing wardrobe, but also tones it down with some casual looks, especially when it comes to getting his hands dirty in creative aspects !! but can be a bit on the flashier side as well, especially w/ hockey press and what not !!

𝖇𝖆𝖈𝖐𝖌𝖗𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖉

   etienne ‘ marcel ’ fluor was born in montpellier, france to two lovely parents, theodore and estelle fluor ( both born in england themselves ) . he is the youngest of his siblings, having one older brother and an older sister, all of them being roughly two years apart. at the age of eight, his family relocated to montreal, canada as a result of a promotion his mother received, which at such a young age, etienne had no qualms with, despite his siblings’ uneasiness.  upon moving to a new country at a young age, etienne truly found himself via escaping into various books and movies. often attempting to write his own and would force encourage his siblings to act his skits/plays out for his parents enjoyment. he continues to be very close with his parents and siblings - recently he taught his parents how to use facetime, so catch him face timing his family on sunday nights. 

   growing up, etienne also enjoyed playing all types of sports ( his parents signing him up hoping that he’d make friends as a result, which he did ). when it came down to it, athletic abilities-wise, there truly wasn’t anything that he wasn’t ‘ good ’ at, and that’s simply because he’s always been such a competitive individual / as well as a perfectionist. that competitive/perfectionist energy caused him to go home and practice a skill or trick for hours in order to be able to come back the next day and whoop everyone’s asses. overall, he’s very athletic, found alternating between various sports offered not only at school, but as well as through local clubs. ultimately, his love and appreciation for hockey swayed him and soon enough it became his sole focus. due to his perfectionist tendencies, etienne is very dedicated to his craft, he will spend hours practicing specific tricks and skills in order to be the best at what he does, which transcends past hockey and into, really, every aspect of his life. 

   throughout highschool ; etienne was a v dedicated student. although he’s a bit reckless and loved to goof off, he was always acing classes and applying himself. he genuinely cares for others, you could’ve seen his ass volunteering at a soup kitchen with his mom on sundays and what not, as well as take part in various clubs and sports ! just SOFT and sporty things. during this time, he joined the ontario hockey league and from there was eventually scouted out and recruited to the pittsburgh penguins as a defenseman at the age of eighteen - forgoing his parents desire for him to attend a university. although he enjoyed his time with pittsburgh, he was excited when the idea of being traded came up - eager to explore a new city and immerse himself in a new area. 

      trigger warning - injury, dislocation ( just in case !!!! ) however, he really didn’t enjoy new york ( hehe ), so he relocated to westmere soon after his initial arrival to nyc - finding a lot of comfort in living in a less populated area. he would commute during the hockey season to nyc, which to him wasn’t very far away, so this is where he’s been residing for the last three years !! however, in the last couple of weeks while training for the upcoming season my lil bb injured himself - not to get into tooooo much detail, i’ll just leave it at shoulder dislocation / joint separation due to a hard hit !! basically he’s out for this upcoming season, already having surgery completed, he’s currently healing for the next couple of months, allowing himself to fully experience that westmere fall !!!

   overall, etienne can come off as a bit reserved, and distant whether that be a result of his untrusting nature of others, or simply unfamiliarity. it takes a bit of time before he feels comfortable to share his true opinion / commentary / only doing so when he feels secure to do so. he’s not necessarily unfriendly, just a bit distant / lost in his thoughts. which varies, as with most ppl ofc, upon person to person and his level of comfortability among them. despite his often lack of conversation, he abhors an uncomfortable silence to settle and will fill it with nonsense to simply avoid the feeling altogether. so, if you ever want to catch him rambling, just making him uncomfortable dkjfngdf. he definitely approaches most things with a bit of ‘ tough love ‘ . he doesn’t mind getting into a quarrel or two if he knows its worth the outcome he’s envisioned. etienne will tell others when they are fucking up, and if they are throwing a punch as a result - catch him leaning into it, which explains his bout of reckless antics. he can come off as a know it all, when it comes to advice giving, but more so because he thinks he’s really good at analyzing others and situations they are in, not necessarily because he’s lived through them himself, he’s just rather intuitive and able to empathize quite easily with others despite his verbal admittance of it. when it comes down to this binches reckless bits, he just feels so intensely that he ends up numbing himself in the aftermath of it all ( especially bc he’s definitely not sharing those feelings with the people around him ), therefore he’s willing to put himself into harms way in order to get a bit of that - happiness / pain, it doesn’t matter to him as long as he no longer feels overwhelmed by numbness. so, if ya see him with some scrapes and stitches ~ mind ya business. but he’ll likely try to drag somebody else into it, and make it seem like it was their idea. but if he is truly comfortable with somebody, he walks a fine line of won’t stop talking, especially if it’s an interest of his, and comfortable silence.

_________________________

𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖘𝖔𝖓𝖆𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖞 & 𝖍𝖆𝖇𝖎𝖙𝖘

he is a CANCER, therefore in this essay i will..... kidding but here’s some fun cancer info i saw that applies to my bb !! at first he appears to be wistful, sarcastic ( maybe a lil crabby ) , shy, distant and mysterious. this personality remains if he isn’t completely comfortable around somebody. but overall, that’s just his facade, his ‘smokescreen’ of sorts to scare off the world from his outwards persona. underneath that layer ( makes me think of shrek metaphor with onions // don’t mind me ), BUT he’s gentle, kind and affectionate ( if you manage to make it to that level * bell dings * ) !!! overall, etienne is a sensitive soul, a bit emotional although he’d rather d*e than show that to others. likely will internalize anything that can hurt his feelings / a low blow and will do something chaotic as a result later on bc of it. very polite, and a little worldly, he is truly the epitome of old-school gentlemanly manners. chivalry coming as a second nature to him !!

that was getting ramble-y, so continuing HERE. but when it comes to romance, as per the cancer man, the concept of love is a mystery, one that etienne is trying to attain. however, his shyness and innate distrust of others make it difficult for him to allow himself to fall in love. his guard is always up when it comes to his emotions, and it’ll take a bit of prodding before he’s willing to speak up on what’s desired from him. he’s v picky when it comes to finding the “ partner of his dreams “ - but he’s def willing to throw himself into the romance of the situation, i.e. buying flowers, riding white horses, and slaying metaphorical dragons. the traditional side means that he will shower his partner with thoughtful gifts, wine and dine them in the best restaurants, and try to grant their every wish. he will take the garbage out, fix that wobbly shelf, navigate on road trips, and kill more so trap and release bugs for his partner, and most important of all he will do it all without being asked. his loyalty and keen attention to the needs and wants of his potential partner. so basically, more so willing to showcase through actions than speak on it. it’s the little things, right ??!?!?! he def cherishes not just the act of being in a relationship, but what it means to become one with another person in mind, body, and soul.

prides himself on being able to make a mean cup of coffee, likely the worst person to watch a movie with bc he knows exactly how it’s going to end after only watching five minutes of it, he has a godawful sense of direction, will walk in circles for fifteen minutes before even raising a question about it/noticing ( but he refuses to acknowledge it. )

his house, car, workspace, junk drawer, closet….you name it - it’s organized, practically sparkling. often times arranged by color, and / or style. nothing is ever out of place, and if it is - there’s trouble brewing. but, more than anything, if he’s visiting somebody’s place and it’s messy, he will spend a solid thirty minutes picking everything up before doing whatever it is that was intended.

likes : reading, flowers, handwritten notes/letters, deep cleaning, baking, working on his pottery, watching the history channel and true crime docs and playing / watching hockey !!

dislikes : artichoke, clutter, sandals ( fkjgh ), unrealistic plotlines in movies &+ burnt coffee.

habits :  likely has a severe caffeine addiction, although he’s now normalized having six cups of coffee throughout his day. he’s an early riser, no matter how little the amount of sleep he’s received, he’s always the first to rise - for his early morning runs !!

strengths: creative, insightful, inspiring, convincing, determined and passionate, decisive, altruistic, intuitive !!

weaknesses: sensitive, extremely private, perfectionist, low-key always needs to have a cause / purpose, can burn out easily !!

overall : etienne truly strives to be kind, and genuinely wants for everyone to get along. treat people with kindness and the like. he has the best of intentions, but often times that can get a bit muddled with the way he goes about things due to his bit of chaotic energy / as well as his often points of getting lost in his thoughts. he won’t realize he’s been quiet for the last three hours unless it’s mentioned to him. he will do anything to lighten a dark mood, and will sacrifice / throw himself under the bus if its needed. however, he also is the type to cause the dark mood depending on the day. wahoo! his more reckless antics increase when he’s feeling a bit emotional !! but he’ll likely try and convince somebody to propose the idea so it’s not on him.

𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖔𝖒 𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖉 𝖈𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖓𝖘

he lives with sebastian !! with his commuting to nyc for the hockey season, he wanted somebody to be able to take care of his house / garden and what not, and thus, seb arrived.

he’s v into making ceramics, cups / bowls / vases / etc !! what began as a fun hobby to distract himself in the offseason became something that he truly enjoys. ( laughing about that scene in ghost BUT DKJFNG OKAY ) although he’s pretty low-key about it, you can catch him at the farmers market selling his creations !! some pictures of his work can be found on his pinterest board !!

he is a vegetarian ! he has been since his freshman year of high school and has no plans on eating seafood/meat ever again.

he loves fancy wine ~ he’s cultured. 

he can play the drums !!

he collects vintage matchbooks and the stickers off of various fruits ( he puts them in a little notebook - can be found on his bookshelf ).

saves handwritten notes and letters from pals.

he loves to garden !!!! he has a specified rose shearing hat.

HE WANTS TO JOIN A BOOKCLUB PLEASE !!!!!!!! or at least have some casual moments of silence with another reading. plz and tysm.

to make things a bit simple, he has all of harry’s tattoos !!  might add more along the way !! stay tuned, folks !!

𝖜𝖆𝖓𝖙𝖊𝖉 𝖈𝖔𝖓𝖓𝖊𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓𝖘

i am so up for anything!! please accept this ramble of ideas thrown below.  if you have any other ideas, lmk !!!! <3333 :’-) down to start from scratch and PLOT PLOT PLOT !

( 2 / 2 ) - BFFZ : the z for an added emphasis dkfjgnd. somebody who likely has a key to etienne’s house, they can enjoy one anothers company as well as the bouts of comfortable silence. you know how best friends are but kdjfngd still !! whether they are likeminded or polar opposites that just flow ~~ down for anything !! even a trio of sorts ?!

( 1 / 1 ) - RIDE OR DIE / CHAOTIC COMPANION : it would be wrong to say one is the more likely the bad influence over the other, although etienne may just be. these two find themselves bounding into, well hell, ( i guess??? ) together. playing on one anothers impulsiveness and if one ends up in the back of a police car, the other is handcuffed to them. and yet despite the length of their potential injuries, they find themselves thinking of something crazier to subject them to the next time around.

( 1 / 1 ) - GUARDIAN ANGEL / GOOD INFLUENCE : with etienne being a bit chaotic in nature, he needs somebody that is likely going to steer him clear from all the ideas that’ll bring him to the brink of disaster. he’s impulsive and in that desperate attempt to feel again, he’s very likely to bring a bit of mayhem upon himself. so while they may be worrying and attempting to talk his ideas down, he’s trying to get them to go along with his plan. it may be rare that he actually takes their advice, but when he does it seems to be for the best.

( 1 / 1 ) - PARTY FRIEND : these two know how to have a good time together. despite the amount of alcohol they are throwing back and the shenanigans they find themselves in as a result, this is a time where they also find themselves confiding in one another. if you look at their camera rolls, it’s likely they have tons of embarrassing and unflattering videos and pics of one another, in between their sob-worthy confessionals and venting/rants. these two trust one another, and although they love getting wreckT together, they find themselves discussing very raw and personal details. likely the only person etienne confides in, simply bc he’s completely plastered.

( 1 / 1 ) - SIBLING-LIKE RELATIONSHIP : these two have a love/hate relationship, very sibling like filled with pranks, competition, teasing and playful banter. however, when it comes down to it they have so much love and respect for one another. they know that no matter what happens they will always have one anothers back and be supportive of the other. truly a pure content filled relationship.

okay quick mention, ENEMY PLOTS ?!?!?!?!?!? i would live for one. i can’t imagine etienne being hardcore nasty, but i’d like to see whatever version comes out for this. so let’s get it djfngjakdfg maybe they just hold different viewpoints on the world and what not and clash, anything really !!! v open !!

( 1 / 1 ) - MENTOR - etienne needs a bit of structured or unstructured guidance, all depending on what their deemed mentor is wanting to impart on him, a bit of wisdom or slight chaos. kdjfgn he’ll take anything !! 

RANDOM LITTLE IDEAS : maybe they’ve heard of one another in town, but haven’t quite met yet! or maybe they see each other around all the time, but have yet to introduce themselves to one another but low-key maybe in some online forum for the town together ?! who knows some fun things kdjnfg i AM OPEN !

ooh maybe a slowburn of sorts ?! something spicy to wreck HIS and my life with.  dkfjgn we can base this off of chemistry !!! :’-)

[schrijverr]

I Wrote My Own Deliverance

Chapter 5 out of 10

Alexander Hamilton is reborn as Alex Hambleton. He is desperate not to make the same mistakes twice, but it seems he is stuck in the narrative, unable to get out. Familiar faces pop up all around him as he attempts to keep his previous life a secret and write himself out of the story.

On AO3.

Ships: none

Warnings: none, but tell me if I missed anything or if you want me to tag something!!

~~~~~~~~~~

Washington’s project had been the last one before his finals for this semester, which meant that after the finals week he would be done with this year. His first year so far had been a success, he was on his way, the first steps had been set.

The last few weeks went by in a blur as he worked through stacks of books, typed thousands of words and worked himself to the bone only to collapse at the end of his finals, ready to sleep for the rest of time.

Sadly that was not in the cards and the campus would be closing over the summer break, leaving Alex without a place to stay if he didn’t start looking soon.

It was still playing heavily on his mind when he got a text from an unknown number: Martha wants to celebrate your successes this year. If you are free for dinner this Sunday. - G.Wash

His shoulders felt lighter as he excitedly typed out a reply: Tell her I would love to come over and see her again. A. Ham

He usually didn’t sign off his texts, but he was willing to do as Washington did to make the man more comfortable and it reminded him of times when he signed all letters like that. From love letters to slam dunks in the media to grievous notes to surviving family members.

Sunday crept up on him and soon he found himself in his nicest pair of clothing on the steps of a big house as he nervously knocked at the door. Washington had been cool about his decision, but Mama M had always been scarier and he wasn’t sure what would happen when she saw him again.

The door was opened by a beautiful woman with a kind smile, who asked: “Alexander?”

A smile split his face as he replied: “Mama M, it’s good to see your face.”

Immediately he was pulled through the door as Mama M wrapped him up into her arms, before patting him down and telling him he needed to eat more and was he sleeping alright?

When her assessment of him was done, she turned stern and berated: “Now, young man, what were you thinking? I would love to hear how you came to the conclusion you did and broke Eliza’s heart, she was always such a kind young woman.”

He’d seen it coming, but the words were still like a stab in his chest. He had never really forgiven himself for what he had done, even if Eliza had. The Reynolds Pamphlet was the biggest burden he carried and the reason he wanted to prove himself.

Last time he had proven himself worthy of the History Books, this time he would also prove himself worthy of kindness.

“I messed up, Mama M.” he decided on honesty, “I made a mistake and I’m taking this second chance at life to do better, but yeah, I messed up big time and I honestly have no excuses.”

Mama M gave him one more look, before her features softened again: “That was the best answer you could have given, dear. Now, come in. I made beef and I have some vanilla ice cream, are those still your favorites?”

“You know me so well.” Alex smiled as he followed her farther into her home, looking at the pictures on the walls and the old-fashioned décor.

“I see you passed her grilling.” it was very strange to see Washington, former President of the United States of America and now prestigious Professor, in jeans and a Tshirt.

“It would seem so, sir.” Alex grinned back.

“Good then you can go set the table.” Washington smiled.

The dinner was nice. It felt only weeks ago when he had last sat there, even though it was centuries in a different home, surrounded by different faces of the same people. It was familiar in a new way, how he rambled about his classes and Mama M talked about the law firm she worked at, making Alex ask even more questions.

Slowly the conversation turned to the past and the too short retirement Washington had gotten to enjoy. He sighed: “Ah well, life goes as it goes. And Martha and I still go to Virginia each year over the holiday, so it’s not all for naught.”

“That sounds great, sir.” Alex said, then he mused, “I should be looking for somewhere to stay this holiday too, but everything is just so expensive and finding an extra job is hard. Though, I suppose there are quite a few homeless shelters in the city, I’ll figure something out.”

“You have nowhere to stay?” Mama M said, sounding more distressed than Alex had thought.

He quickly backtracked: “No- well, yes, but also don’t worry about it, Mama M. I didn’t mean to say that, just thinking. I’ll manage, really, nothing new.”

Alex was absolutely not helping his case, but he was panicking, so he cut himself some slack.

“You can stay with us, come to Virginia.” she offered, still slightly horrified, “We don’t mind and I’m not leaving you to fend for yourself out there for an entire summer.”

“That is really kind of you, but, uhm-” he shot a helpless look to Washington, who just held his hands up in surrender as he left Alex on his own, “I have a job,” yeah that worked and wasn’t even a lie, “and I really need it, I can’t take time off and traveling from Virginia to my job each day with public transport is going to be too expensive and takes too much time. I really, really appreciate the offer, Mama M, but I really can’t.”

“And what if you stayed here and had the car.” she countered.

“Mama M, I can’t-”

He hadn’t thought of a good argument, but luckily Washington stepped in: “And how will we get to Virginia then, Martha. It’s very sweet you want to help, but Alexander is an adult, he can make his own choices.”

“You and I both know that’s not true.”

“Hey!”

Alex got ignored by the two others who were having a staring match. Martha raised a brow and said: “He could drive us to Virginia, stayed the weekend then drive back by himself and come to pick us up at the end of our holiday?”

“Martha...” was all Washington said as a grin formed on Mama Ms face. She pleasantly smiled: “So that’s settled then. Alex you’re staying here. We still need a cat sitter for Hammy.”

Swallowing heavily Alex accepted, he knew better than to argue with Mama M when she had made up her mind, especially when Washington agreed, reluctant as it might be. Instead he smiled and sincerely replied: “Really, thank you so much, ma’am. You truly are a wonderful woman. Also, Hammy? Please tell me I don’t have another cat-counterpart, Mama M.”

“I do try, you charmer.” she patted his cheek, before rising to clear the table, “And, cat-you really is a sweetheart, you’ll like him.”

Alex jumped up to help her, trailing after her like a puppy as she switched topics to the latest essay for his blog.

[blue-eyes-and-auburn-hairr]

Second Chances Chp. 4

Disclaimer: Okay, I got more notes than I thought I ever would, so while the world is quarantined...I wrote another part.

Warning: Mention of death, fluff, I don’t want to mislead anyone this will very much be a slowburn

Summary: Can you imagine being widowed at such a young age to a man you thought you’d have forever with? On the anniversary of his death, on top of a mountain, Thea and Chris begin their new journey together.

(I want to experiment with a different perspective if its trash I’ll redo this chp. )

Thea had no idea why it was so hard to ghost this guy. It should be easy, they hung out for half a day a week ago. He should already have her out of his head, but no he still continues to call. 

“Ms. Mulligan I finished reading the chapter what should I do now?” Thea’s 3rd period reading support class was currently working on finishing their novel. She would typically read to them but her mind had been scattered all week. 

“Kay, why don’t you draw a picture of your favorite chapter so far on the smartboard?” Thea prompts, knowing that Kay loves to draw and she really is interested in the novel...even if she won’t admit it. 

“Can I listen to music, puhleaseee?” She spins around with a great big smile on her face. 

“As long as you don’t blast it and its not that Billie Eye Lash person,” Thea rolls her eyes with a smirk knowing what would follow. 

“Mully, you’re embarrassing yourself you know her name is Billie Eilish because I’ve stalked your Spotify playlist, right Kai?” Kai, who was too busy reading the next chapter to even look up when she responds, “Yeah Mully, we are currently working on one of those mixtapes for you so be prepared.” 

The nickname Thea fought for a good three months but finally caved when her co-workers started using it as well. As for the Spotify stalking, not surprised more impressed and she was now looking forward to the next mixtape they give her. 

Last semester, Thea assigned the class a project that required them to find a song to coincide with each chapter of their novel. The students also had to write one paragraph explaining why they choose each song. That was when the revolting started for about 20 minutes until Andrew, in the back of the class, had enough and shouted, “She is legit letting us listen to music all class period and write like 10 paragraphs for a week. The other students have to write an essay on like literary devices or something and they had to read the book all by themselves.” 

“Legit?” Kay announced shocked.

“Legit Kay, legit,” Thea sighs, “Also we have like 78 words on the word wall can we work on using one of those instead of ‘legit’?” 

“Bet.” Kai says with her hand in the air and at that point, Thea just puts her head down silently laughing. 

Her phone buzzed on her desk again, this time it was just a CNN update but the missed call was still staring her in the face. All Thea has felt since that night was guilt. She felt like she was cheating on Jamie and all they did was hug before getting in their own cars and driving away. The bubble burst though on the drive home when the waterworks wouldn’t stop and she had to pull over on the side of the road almost three times. 

And then Sunday morning, her phone rings and she watches as it goes to voicemail and then it vibrates again with a voicemail. She stares at her phone for a few more minutes before playing the message. 

Hey Thea, I just wanted to call and check in on you. You never messaged me when you got home last night and I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Leaving West Point now and you were right I think I definitely made the guard’s day.  I’m sure you are busy getting ready for the school day tomorrow but if you have a second to talk I’m around. Okay, take care now. 

He called one more time that evening but no message. It was now Friday and Thea had five missed calls and two messages in total. She did not know how to process all of this and she had been burying herself in work trying to stay busy avoiding the topic. She did that with most things and she knew it wasn’t going to end well and that she was being selfish. So she picked up her phone and tried to type out a text, but then the bell rang and the class started to pack up. 

“Okay, guys I’ll see most of you in 7th and 8th for Math, make sure to have your homework notebook, hint, hint hint,” Thea says with a wink. She knew their anxiety would soar if they walked in not knowing about a homework check so she always made sure she casually mentioned something to them. Her co-teacher was not a fan of this, but her kids, her decision. 

Thea now had a prep period and then lunch to try and sort out all of her thoughts. She even had time to call Chris back, but she did not trust herself to keep her emotions in check, especially while at work. 

Hey Chris, Sorry for the disappearing act. I’m still just trying to process everything and work has kept me occupied. Can we talk tonight? Text, call or even facetime if that’s easier.  Sorry again. 

Chris’ phone finally vibrated in his pocket as he was walking out of a bagel shop in New York City. He was supposed to make his way to Boston to see his family after his trip upstate but that was sidetracked by some work stuff. 

His new movie, “Captain America: Civil War was being released in a few weeks and he had a few talk shows and then the Lower Manhattan premiere was on May 4th. He knew he was going to be in town for some time now and wanted to see Thea again. 

She just didn’t want to see him. 

He had no idea what he did wrong and wanted a chance to see her and explain that. So when she finally answered him back he wasn’t sure how to respond. He would prefer to talk in person but did not want to upset her or whatever else he may have done. He tried to call his brother for some advice but that call went to voicemail as well, but his mom picked up on the first ring. 

“Chris, honey you okay?” 

“Yeah Ma, I just needed a little advice and Scott didn’t answer,” he admits to his mother.

“Well, why would you call him before me? Does he give better advice or somethin’?” This was a rabbit hole Chris would very much like to avoid. 

“It’s about a girl Ma, he already knows most of the back story,” Chris sighs through the phone.

“Ahh, so this is about the girl you met on the hike, well more like Dodger found, who you had to call your brother about in the bathroom while on a date with her?” 

“Wait what? We weren’t on a date and wow did he really tell you everything?” Chris says in complete shock. “And let the record show that I called him when SHE was in the bathroom.”

“Of course he did, I’m his mother, he tells me everything” cue the eye roll. 

“Okay Ma, and yes I called Scott, obviously that was a mistake,” Chris chuckles “He apparently blabbed everything.” Chris still wasn’t sure why he called his brother when Thea went to the bathroom, he just was so happy for the first time in a while that he needed to tell someone.

“So this is the girl that you’re going to marry, huh?” His mother bluntly states, causing Chris to almost drop his phone. 

“What the fuck did Scott say? Who said anything about marriage? We talked for like four hours and she has been avoiding me all week.”

“Scott said you were going on and on about how you finally ‘found her’ which is why he called me 20 seconds after hanging up with you.” Thank goodness for the ballcap and the glasses or all of NYC would see the flushed cheeks of Christopher Evans. 

“Okay, can we circle back to that whole topic later? Or maybe after I have a word with my kid brother. How do I ask her to meet up with me tonight when she only wanted to talk on the phone? Is that too forward? Should I just say yes to the phone call?” Chris continued to ramble to his mother. 

“It can’t hurt to ask,” such a simple response and yet it was perfect. “Just mind your manners, you were raised better Christopher.”

“Thanks, Ma,” Chris says finally smiling because he has a plan. 

“And if you need to call anyone on this date, call me not your brother,” she chuckles on the phone. “Love you and let me know how it goes.”

“Love you too”

Hey Thea, a phone call would be perfect unless you would want to meet up in person? I’m still in New York and would really like to see you again. If you wanted to meet in the city or someplace by you...whatever is easier. 

Thea wanted to act like she was shocked by the message but she understood. Jamie and her relationship started out as long-distance, so when you have the opportunity to see someone in person you jump. 

She didn’t know if she was ready for all of this, but she also knew it wasn’t fair to Chris. They needed to talk and put all of their cards on the table.

I would like to see you again too, but whatever is easier for you.

Long Beach is about an hour train ride to the city, but not sure would be better for you with people and stuff. 

You could also come here and we could get some ice cream and take a walk on the boardwalk? If that doesn’t sound too cliche...

The bell is going to ring so no rush we can figure this out after school. 

Thea finally stopped blowing up his phone by her overthinking and put her phone in her bag for the rest of the school day. 

The afternoon went by in a flash, Thea waited until she got into her car after school to look at her phone. 

Not cliche at all, that sounds perfect. I can be to you by 7, just send me the address of the ice cream shop 

Thea forwarded the address and then made her way home. She had a few hours to kill before she would see Chris so she tried to busy herself with things to do to prevent the overthinking. 

Chris on the other head couldn’t stop the overthinking and the worst-case scenarios that played out in his head. He has so many things to worry about with the movie and all the press but he cannot get her beautiful smile out of his head. 

He just didn’t know what it was about her, everything about Thea just seemed authentic. She had been dealt such a tough hand that would make any person cold and distant, but she still wears her heart on her sleeve.  Even Dodger could see her genuine soul and stepped in to defend her when we were on the mountain. Chris just wanted to get to know her better, he thought he might miss out on something unbelievable if he just walked away. He also understood that she was still so hurt and wanted to help her in any way that he could. 

Chris thought about that while driving down to the ice cream shop and pulling into the parking lot a few minutes early. He spotted Thea as she was laying down a blanket in the trunk of her Jeep. He could only see the back of her and he was glad she was wearing something comfy and casual. It made him feel better about his jeans and t-shirt that took him an hour to finally commit too. He parked his car and made his way over to her, he closed his truck door loudly and called her name so he didn’t startle her. She didn’t turn around, she was too busy struggling with her own nerves. She had been fixing this blanket for a good 10 minutes and trying to decide whether or not it was lame and if she should scrap the whole idea. She didn’t even have a clue that Chris was behind her for a few minutes before she actually turned around with a jump. 

“Sorry, I was trying so hard not to scare you but you didn’t respond when I called your name a few times,” stumbled with his words. 

Thea kept a hand over her heart trying to steady her breathing and when it was finally calmed she looked up to see Chris’ concerned expression. 

Thea couldn’t help but laugh, “Well you looked like the last time we met too, only I had a knife in my hand and yet you look more scared now.” 

And just like that the tension that had worried them both had broken as Thea walked over to give Chris a big hug. They make there way over to the line and ordered two sundaes and then head back to her car. 

“I figured we could sit here while we ate our ice cream and then head to the boardwalk, its a few minutes away but I didn’t want the sundaes to melt” 

Chris continues staring at his ice cream trying to find a way to ask the question that had been driving him crazy all week. He didn’t know how to phrase it without making the situation worse. 

Thea scoots back into the car and sits like a pretzel, “So let’s talk about it before the elephant in the room gets any bigger.” Thea used to be all about beating around the bush but after everything that happened, time is one thing you can never get back. 

“Did I do something to upset you? I have been trying to figure out why you didn’t answer and I am coming up short” Chris admits finally looking away from his ice cream. 

“You did nothing wrong and I don’t want to sound like an asshole when I say that this had nothing to do with you,” Thea says while running her fingers through her hair. Chris sits patiently giving her a second to collect her thoughts. 

“I want to explain this right, so please take everything I say with a grain of salt because I am bound to put my foot in my mouth” Thea sets the stage with a disclaimer because she is absolutely terrified of the direction this could go. 

“You know that feeling when you are exercising or playing a sport and your breaths are coming shorter and the tightness in your chest is growing? You can still breath but it’s a struggle and you cannot wait for it to subside? And then finally you stop and you catch your breath and the air in your lungs fills again and you know you are going to be okay?” Chris nods along to Thea’s analogy trying to see where she was going with this. 

Thea takes a second to collect her words again, “Chris, I have been trying to catch my breath for three years now and no outlet, no resource, nothing was helping. The panic attacks while I was awake and even when I was sleeping, I just couldn’t...” Thea tries to collect herself shaking the tears from eyes refusing to let them spill. “And then I ask Jamie for a sign that it’s okay for me to stop running and I turn around and there you were” Thea clears her throat again.

“And Chris, I finally started breathing again.”

“Then we hugged and I got in my car and started to drive away and all at once it was gone and my lungs were aching and I was terrified and lost all over again” Chris is not sure at what point he reached for her hand but he was gently squeezing it as Thea continued to shake her head. 

“Out of nowhere, I was angry at myself that I let this happen and how I was a fool for thinking I could be normal again.” Thea pulled her hand away, “I woke up to the text you sent me and then the guilt set in. I felt guilty being happy with you and wanting to answer you and then guilty because I was not being fair to you and then guilty because we only knew each other for a few hours and I was giving so much power to something that wasn’t real.”  She swirls the melting ice cream in her lap, “and now I am just sad because sitting here with you right now with all these emotions I am breathing just fine.”

“And I am scared of what will happen next.” 

Chris had no idea how to react to all of this, she had so many layers and so much going on and unintentionally he hurt her. Thea was right though this wasn’t about him but the fact that he was helping and hurting her at the same time was making his head spin. Nothing was sitting right with him and maybe ice cream wasn’t the best choice because his stomach was churning. 

“I don’t know what to say, the thought that I am causing you pain, it makes me sick. Why would you say this isn’t real though?”

“Chris,” Thea sighs “I don’t know, you’re you and I’m me and I am talking this Chris not that other guy so don’t jump to conclusions. I am filled with scars and a heart that may never work again. You are so sweet and caring and could be anywhere right now and yet you are here with me eating ice cream in my trunk. We only talked for one evening, it just doesn’t make sense.” 

“Isn’t that how all great stories start though, with a great evening that leads to many more?”

“Chris, the only thing I can offer you is a hand to hold and friendship, I don’t think I can handle much more and that’s not fair to you.”

“Deal, sold, I’ll take it. Now let’s head to the boardwalk before it gets too chilly” Chris says while taking the melted ice cream and tossing it. 

“Wait what?” Thea says completely taken back. 

“I am not done getting to know you and I have a feeling this will all be worth it,” Chris says with a smirk. 

“Chris, I really don’t…” Chris cut Thea off, “I’m an optimist so let’s just enjoy each other’s company, okay?” 

Thea nods and recommends that Chris should follow her back to her apartment building to leave his truck so that they can just walk from there to the boardwalk, parking was bound to be crazy on this warm spring night. When they finally park and head to the boardwalk, Chris, optimistically, grabs Thea’s hand and they start their walk with the breeze from the open pushing them along. 

Chris decides while looking at her windblown hair, that he is going to help her no matter what. She deserves so much happiness in this life, Chris made a silent promise to her that all of her hardest days were behind her.  

Giving her hand an extra squeeze, Chris looks out into the distance and makes the same promise to the night sky that was watching over her.

@chi00072 @capstopavenger​

[nikatyler]

When you’re reading this, it’s already after my prom. However, when I’m writing this, it’s the night before my prom, I’m freaking out and I’m listening to some Christmas music to calm down. Don’t judge me, okay? I’m not one of those “November = Christmas” people but I like to listen to Christmas songs early. I’ll start decorating by the end of this month. And buying gifts, too. End of November sounds nice.

Anyway, my prom. I’m freaking out. Long dress, high heels, makeup...aaaand I still don’t know what my hair will look like and that freaks me out as well. I’m a mess. When you’re reading this, I’m already at home, it’s all done, I have survived. Hopefully I don’t have a hangover.

SUNDAY AFTERNOON RONNIE HERE! If this wasn’t the best evening of my life then I don’t know what was. I didn’t make a fool of myself, I had a great time, I drank responsibly, I’m just a little tired and sad that it’s over.

It’s actually Monday afternoon now. Oops. I was going to post it yesterday but then I didn’t because anxiety. Basically. I hate myself. (take a shot every time I say something along these lines)

Replies now. Just a warning, it got really long this time and also, technically I spoil something even though at this point it’s obvious anyway so...yeah just thought I’d let you know :D

For some reason I couldn’t get a few of these replies straight out of my activity feed so I went and just did it manually because I knew they were there somewhere. Just saying in case you were wondering why the format is different.

(x)

jackssims:  “Forget her” woooow Ross

elisabettasims:  Ross, you don't deserve to be turned and live forever after that remark.

This goes on the list of the worst things he’s ever said. Not that I have a list like that, but I could start one.

(x)

riversong331:  I swear to god if she dies I’m going to start a revolt

I’m not ready

Well then...you better start getting ready. Just saying.

jackssims replied to your photoset “Sunset: “Daddy gone again?” December: “Oh yeah, he is. It would be...”

It would be nice if he was there /at all/ for Sunset lbr

Yeah. He needs to work on that.

jackssims replied to your photoset “Hottub is no fun when you’re alone. Once again, the conversation I had...”

Yeeeeesssssssss

pxelatedtrash replied to your photoset “Hottub is no fun when you’re alone. Once again, the conversation I had...”

Yesyesyesyesyesyes xD

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Hottub is no fun when you’re alone. Once again, the conversation I had...”

*incoherent screaming*

but this doesn't excuse lack of interest in your daughter, Ross!

The ship may sail now.

By the way, at this point I was kinda scared everyone would just be excited about this revelation and forget Ross is still a bad person who sees his daughter as a minor inconvenience his parents can take care of. I’m glad that didn’t happen, he can’t be forgiven just yet, thankyouthankyouthankyou. I never should’ve doubted you, honestly :D

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “Sunset: “Daddyyyy wake up!” Ross: pretend you don’t hear her, pretend...”

It's really, really difficult for me to like Ross. To be fair to him in this case, a lot of parents have done this.

Ah, yes, sadly...I know people whose parenting is very similar to Ross. :/

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Sunset: “Daddy gone again?” December: “Oh yeah, he is. It would be...”

I`m soooo close to calling Ross an a-hole

Sorry!��

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Ross: “Sunny, you can’t do this. Your dad - as in me - is a very busy...”

And when is your free time scheduled? When you have grandchildren?

Good question...guess we’ll find out when he actually has grandchildren in the game :D

jackssims replied to your photoset “Ross: “Sunny, you can’t do this. Your dad - as in me - is a very busy...”

Every time Ross says something like this to Sunset I die a little inside

You’re not the only one. I felt so bad writing these lines

jackssims replied to your photoset “Valentine: “Are you feeling a little unwell, brother? Is Sunset...”

Valentine pls

She’s trying to bring my alien jokes back leave her alone everyone

jackssims replied to your photoset “Ooh boy. It was one hell of a nausea.”

*eyes emoji*

I didn’t think anyone would think this was important but then again...we know how I feel about aliens  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “WHAT WERE YOU TWO DOING THERE THAT’S YOUR SON’S CLOSET”

It's the small little revenges that are the best.

I wonder how he would feel if he found out. Buuuut I think he didn’t find out, considering...well, let’s just say that closet has seen things. I’m not responsible for that, he did it on his own. I swear.

davidmont replied to your photoset “Look Ross. You’ve made mistakes and we all know that. We all hate you...”

Yikes

Yikes indeed. Deal with your problems, Ross! Don’t just set yourself on fire!

Wait..

Did I just call Sunset “a problem”?

I am officially as bad as our dear buddy Ross. I hate myself.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “I love Ross as a character but I hate him as a person (if that makes...”

I like him as a character, too! Contraversional characters are the best

Ahhh yes! He was fun and interesting to write and think about. But he’s the worst. I’m not saying he doesn’t have any good character traits, I mean he’s hardworking for sure...but yeah he’s showing his bad side more

wizardofweather1 replied to your post “I love Ross as a character but I hate him as a person (if that makes...”

I Feel Like If His Parents Let Him Be With Caleb Then He Would Be Open About The Alien Baby Then Ross Would Never Have Went And Attempted To Seduce Everyone In Sight And Happier Ending But This Challenge Is This Way

My “theory”/”explanation”/idk how to call it because I’m tired is similar to yours. I’ll try to explain it somehow because honestly...would I miss the opportunity to talk about my characters? Watch out for a super long essay! :D

Let’s take it from the beginning. At first Ross was just kind of this child obsessed with his “cool vampire friend”. He adored him. When he aged up into a teenager, he went and started dating Carol, his classmate and a good friend. They were the same age and knew each other for a while so...yeah. It wasn’t that hard. I don’t think Ross had any romantic feelings for Caleb at that point just yet. Strong feelings, definitely, but not romantic.

Anyway, fast forward to Caleb getting abducted by aliens because I have no self control. I think that even though Caleb liked Ross a lot, they were best friends, they always had a great time and everything, he knew Ross can be shallow and bit of a dick. Which is why he decided to avoid him for a while. That however almost ruined their friendship, as we’ve also seen.

The feelings most likely started changing at the beginning of gen 2 when they started hanging out again - before drifting apart once more when Ross found out about Stella. During those dark high school times, Ross had this mindset that he wanted to date someone, find the “one true love” as one may call it. He didn’t know who exactly he wanted so he just went and tried all his options...but he was looking for something, someone specific. He was missing Caleb, even though he was also mad at him for keeping secrets and not trusting him. Now, I’m not trying to defend Ross. I would never defend him for this. He was confused and he missed Caleb, okay, cool. Well Ross, guess what, you can miss someone but that doesn’t give you the right to date a million people at once.

Ross then tried to move on when things got more serious with Jordan, but something still didn’t feel right, and then there was Marika who only made this indecisivity worse, and then things turned out the way they did. (I actually believe Ross and Jordan could have been in a happy relationship if it wasn’t for her.) And then Ross started talking to Caleb again and boom the feelings were back and even stronger and it was just a matter of time until he finally realized. Basically. As for Caleb’s point of view, well, I think it’s still too soon to talk about that and this is getting long anyway.

I wouldn’t necessarily blame Ross’s parents for all of this, though they obviously play some role in it as well. Let’s be real, Ross was an only child for a long time and a pretty spoiled one...hadn’t he been so spoiled, he would’ve probably grown up to be a better person, Caleb would’ve trusted him et cetera.

Wow, this turned into quite a rambling, I’m sorry. These are the kind of things I think but at the same time don’t think about, it’s more like a feeling, and writing it down, it gets long. Aaand now I definitely didn’t make sense. I hate myself. Don’t let me do this when I should go to bed, I’m really really tired. Why do I do this to myself. 

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “Love gets so much more confusing when you actually mean it. I...”

Everybody but you knew, Ross.

Everybody but him...and me. Yeah. I started shipping them around this scene. I didn’t really think about it before that, in fact at that point I didn’t even know what I wanted to do next romance-wise for Ross. Once I was sure I wanted them to get together, I went back to edit the dialogue a little bit, throw a hint here and there...and I realized that I didn’t even have to edit it too much. I already wrote him pretty much like he’s kind of crushing on him without knowing he’s crushing on him. So like...I hate to say it but I’m just as oblivious as him. That’s concerning. Or maybe I just got so into his character, which is just as concerning.

jackssims replied to your photoset “Love gets so much more confusing when you actually mean it. I...”

Idk, Ross, you’re entire life perhaps?

You’re not wrong

I mean, like I said above, those feelings weren’t always romantic but he has always loved him in some way.

jackssims replied to your photoset “Hey. Why did you place that down. You eat that right now.”

I see that frowny face in the tags it better not be what I think it is

Sorry

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “nononononono December please can you like maybe go away? Thank you.”

Gosh this is... Unexpected((

jackssims replied to your photoset “December: “Okay what are you trying to do.” Kieran: “I’m trying to say...”

CALLED IT ��

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “December: “Okay what are you trying to do.” Kieran: “I’m trying to say...”

Nooooooooo.

I remember this clearly. I was going to leave the game soon and go to bed and he was like “oh you wanna sleep? me too but I won’t wake up. bye”

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “Oh, yeah. Glad you noticed your husband really is dead.”

It's sadly hilarious sometimes how long it takes it to jump in the queue if they're in the middle of something already.

I hate that. I feel like ts3 is quite the opposite, if something is supposed to cancel everything in the queue, it happens fast. Sims 4 though...

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Persephone made a new friend.”

"Give my best regards to Hades"

This moment was perfect thanks to her name

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “Persephone made a new friend.”

I guess the Grim Reaper is still an animal lover. I loved that about him in TS3. It was one of the few things that made pets dying bearable, the way Grim greeted them with open arms and hugs.

Yes, that was cute! Still though, none of my sims animals has ever died because, well, it’s too sad for me to handle.

Well, actually, spoiler alert - Persephone died, but that was off screen, so that wasn’t as bad.

pxelatedtrash replied to your photoset “December: “I’ll take you to bed, Sunny. I’m so sorry you had to...”

I'm not crying! You're crying! These damn onions

Oh I am crying. I have very sensitive eyes, I cry all the time. (I’m not kidding btw and I hate it)

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “Valentine: “Now he���ll never know…anything. He won’t see me graduate....”

He wouldn't be proud of how you treat your daughter. :D

Of course! Too bad Ross doesn’t see it...yet :D

jackssims replied to your photoset “Watch out Sun- Nevermind.”

The routing in this game really is something else

ikr? It’s like...in TS3, even a minor thing ruins the routing, sim gets stuck, screams, we all know how that goes, but this one...I’m not sure what I prefer to be fair. TS4 makes it all easier but it’s weird

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “Why didn’t she come to me for a hug? I mean, I’m her dad after all -...”

Be a better parent for starters, Ross

jackssims replied to your photoset “Why didn’t she come to me for a hug? I mean, I’m her dad after all -...”

Be a better parent? Spend time with your daughter?

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “Why didn’t she come to me for a hug? I mean, I’m her dad after all -...”

Make it up to her!

What a shocker, he now finally sees he sucks, but he doesn’t quite know how to become this “better parent”. Even if it’s so obvious. But then again, this is Ross so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “Today is a very special day. A promotion is just around the corner, I...”

Ugh.

jackssims replied to your photoset “Today is a very special day. A promotion is just around the corner, I...”

/Ross/

At least he understands that he should be here for his daughter’s birthday so there’s that I guess...even though he’s clearly not happy about it so...yeah Ross, you’re doing great, this will definitely make you a better parent.

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “Ahh yes, no more crying, she’s growing up. Maybe we’ll get along now....”

Maybe if you weren't such a jerk, Ross.

*Selfish jerk.

jackssims replied to your photoset “Ahh yes, no more crying, she’s growing up. Maybe we’ll get along now....”

//ROSS//

Someone should explain to him that the change won’t happen on its own, he’ll have to take the first step. 

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset

I thought it was Sharon. Pretty indeed!

I’m so obsessed with her even though I don’t really talk about it. She’s fun to write, she looks awesome, I love her relationship with Tyler, the way they tease each other, I could go on forever but that could potentionally mean spoilers so I’ll shut up now. I hate spoiling things.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “She’s beautiful.”

She truly is ❤️❤️❤️

elisabettasims replied to your photoset “She’s beautiful.”

Oh I love her.

Those Breeze genes never fail.

simmering-pancakes replied to your photoset “Today is a very special day. A promotion is just around the corner, I...”

I might fight this boi

Let me help you with that

[lovemesomesurveys]

How long ago did you take your last survey? I just did one before this. Would you rather have hot tea or hot coffee? Coffee, always. Don’t even need to ask. Have you ever been told you were a good writer? Yes. What name do you think is pretty for a girl? Scarlet or Autumn. I was watching a video the other day and this girl had mentioned Winter Rain as a name lol and I actually really like that. If you had to name your daughter after a disney princess, which one? Jasmine.

Do you think telepathy is real? No. I think when you’re really close to someone you have like an unspoken thing where you can know what they’re thinking or communicate non-verbally, but it’s not telepathy. When you were little, did you ever think you would be a magician? No. I did try and dabble with card tricks for a bit, though. When did you last draw something for fun? I don’t draw, but I do like to color. What is your opinion on poetry? I like some of it. Did you play with Barbies as a kid? Yep. I was obsessed. What, if any, TV shows do you have on DVD? I Love Lucy and The Dick Van Dyke Show. Would you rather go in a hot air balloon or go sky diving? Neither. What do you put on your baked potatoes? Sour cream, shredded cheddar cheese, and chives. Homework–would you rather do it on a Friday or Sunday? I always waited until Sunday. Will you ever understand hate gangs? No. Do you remember every birthday wish you’ve ever made? No. What do you want to do right out of high school? I went to community college afterwards. At what age do you want to start working/What age did you start? I don’t know. What is your opinion on Twilight? I was into it at one time. What cartoon character did you have a crush on as a kid? I never found a cartoon character attractive. Did you ever play pretend? Yeah. How did Team Rocket ALWAYS know where Ash was? *shrug* Would you say you have a stable, good internet connection? Yeah. At what time of the day do you like to take showers? At night. Do you lie on surveys to make yourself seem cooler? Hahahah based on my replies, I think it’s obvious that I in no way try to appear cool. It’s very clear that I am not. Was that a lie? No. I’m very open with these. Depending on my mood, I sometimes go on huge rambles and overshare. Does the number 27 have any significance to you? No. How do you study for tests? I would go through my notes and rewrite what I felt was important and in a more organized way and then I would just go over them several times, reading out loud. It worked for me. Were you ever a tree-climber? No. Do you keep a diary/journal that you update regularly? You’re lookin’ at it. Have you ever tried to start a blog? You’re lookin’ at it. What video games have you beaten? Super Mario Bros. What is your mom’s occupation? She works at Walgreens. Who makes the most in your entire family? My mom. Have you ever been on a farm? Yes. Do you like writing essays? I sometimes did. Would you ever study abroad? It sounded cool, but I would have been too afraid to go off on my own to another country. If a cosmetology class was offered at your school, would you take it? No. Estimate how many people smoke cigarettes in the UK. I have no idea. Have you ever known someone who smoked? Did they stop? Yes and yes. Do you think weed should be legalized? Cigarettes illegalized? Yes, and it is now for the most part. Would you rather run or ride your bike? Neither. Where do you buy your make up? Online, Target, or Walmart. What is the last fruit you’ve eaten? When? Uhhhh. What is the last junk food you’ve eaten? When? Brownies last night. Would you call yourself an environmentalist? No. What is more practical: Glue sticks or white, regular glue? Glue sticks. Do you like the purple glue sticks just because they’re purple? Sure. If you could make your lips bigger, would you? I kind of wish my top lip was a little bigger, but nah I’d never do anything about it. Do you think plastic surgery is no big deal? It really depends. Some people become addicted to it, and that’s when it really becomes a problem. If you want to make some change to yourself, like breast implants or lipo or something, go for it if that’s something you really want and have really thought about it. For some people it’s done for something to improve their health, like a nose job to improve restricted airways. However, for some people it starts with something like breast implants, but then it’s not enough so they keep going more and more and it never ends. 

[never-not-ever]

today

So I missed group this morning cause my eyes were still too swollen. It’s not like I planned for this to happen but I’m kind of glad because I got to sleep in late and today’s my only day off til Sunday. 

I had therapy at 4 and that was an emotional shit show. We basically talked about how strong the urges were this past weekend and how they’re still kind of there. It was nearing end time and we made a list of 3 skills I could do for when the urges are really strong. Then my session was over and she asked if I wanted to do one of the skills now, the pros and cons and I was like “are you sure” and she said I was her last patient and she didn’t mind. Then she reminded me how in DBT when you’re struggling and reach out for help that’s when you get more attention (that’s the wrong word but I can’t think of exactly what she said) and when you act on urges without reaching out for help is when you get frowned upon i.e. not being able to use skills coaching for 24 hours after the incident. 

So I ended up staying an extra 20 minutes and it was really nice. We agreed upon me trying those 3 skills first and then calling her if it’s not working. 

The funny part is I went into the session with my diary card in hand and warned her that “right now I actually feel a whole lot more optimistic and better than this past weekend. I was feeling like crap yesterday and even this morning but right now I feel okay”. Then we started talking about everything and the whole concept about how comforting and reinforcing going into the hospital can be. Then we started talking about the self harm urges and I was just so triggered. So I did the pros and cons which made me feel a little more at ease. But the drive home was how do you say... dangerous? I was angry and listening to extremely loud music and when there wasn't traffic, I was just speeding down the highway and going in and out of cars. I came home and decided to dye my hair.

What angers me so much is how hard this is. It would be so easy and simple to just relapse and go full force back into this addiction. In the past it was always that simple. But if I do that now, I’ll lose something else. I’ve never before wanted anything as much as I wanted to self harm. Right now I want that other thing more cause I can’t live like this anymore. A part of me is saying just make it thru the next few months and after it’s all over then you can do whatever you want, go full force into a relapse, etc. I’m not going to get into specifics about what this other thing is. Who knows maybe I’ll feel more confident about it and talk about it on here later on down the road...

On the drive home while I was still in Belmont I started tearing up realizing just how close and attached I’m getting to my therapist. I first started seeing her as my psychiatrist back in August of 2017 and I stopped my meds/seeing her a couple months later. Then this past March I started seeing her for meds again and only once a month. Then in the beginning of the Summer when things turned to shit we talked about her becoming my DBT therapist. But because of residential and then inpatient I didn’t even start seeing her regularly until mid-August. She told me in the beginning when she mentioned being my therapist that it would only be a year and that she was worried about that because of how attached I was to my previous therapist. She’s in a 2 year program at McLean and it ends in June. Now it’s starting to sink in that I will eventually have to say goodbye and it sucks because I’m really starting to open up to her and I can feel a connection forming. My group therapist mentioned in one of my intake sessions for the group that maybe my therapist would get a job at McLean and I could continue to see her. So now I kind of want to ask her if she ends up working at McLean if that would be possible and if she knows yet where she’s going after this. I’m tearing up now as I think about it cause I hate getting attached to people and then them leaving. Part of me wants to end this now, or do a bunch of stupid shit to push her away but I know I need her right now and I can’t do anything that would end up with me being abandoned. 

Okay and now I’m just rambling and writing a fucking essay...

[inspiringlovely-blog]

A Qualitea Sunday Study Ramble - #1 Pt.2

Ramble #1 Pt.1: Introductions and Thoughts

April 8th, 2018

Welcome again to the first Qualitea Study Ramble! On today’s ramble, I’ll be talking to you about some essay writing tips and time management strategies!

Let’s start with some preliminary Essay Writing tips: 

Tip #1: Start Every Essay With an Outline

Doing this will keep your essay from going off on tangents. It will also keep you focused as you write. Essays are always easier to write if you have a roadmap to follow along as you write them. 

My favorite way to outline essays is to actually make us of a white board to do so. An example of this is as follows: 

You can also just make one on a document. Personally, I like to add little checkboxes by my essays so I can keep track of things and make sure I’ve incorporated everything I need to. 

Tip #2: Have a Clear Thesis

I won’t go into how to write a thesis in this post as the actual process of writing a thesis will vary upon what type of paper you’re writing. The important part, however, is to make sure you have a clear thesis. Your thesis is the foundation of your paper. Every part/paragraph you write should be weaved back to your thesis somehow. That way, your paper stays clear, concise, and focused. 

Tip #3: Break Your Paper Down into Labeled Parts (if possible)

This tip has saved my writing on so many occasions. If I break my papers down by “Introduction”, “Point One:_____”, “Point Two:______” and incorporate subheadings, I find that I stay on track with what I have to write. It also allows you to check your paper faster and with more ease once the final product is complete. 

Tip #4: Start Writing Ahead of Time

And don’t be afraid to ask for help as you write. This is especially true with regards to asking your professor for guidance. The earlier you start your paper, the more time you have to edit it. As a result, your paper will likely be a better paper. 

Tip #5: Read Through Your Essays Out Loud

That’s right. Out loud. The best way to catch errors in a paper is by reading your paper out loud to yourself. 

Alrighty then! Moving onto Time Management strategies now: 

Strategy #1: Start Planning ASAP

Don’t wait till you’re drowning in work in the final weeks of the quarter/semester to get started on planning and scheduling things out! Start as early as week one -- or even before the quarter/semester begins! That way, you’ve already got a game plan going into the year instead of scrambling to come up with one last minute. 

Strategy #2: Utilize Google Calendar + Color Coding

What I love about Google Calendar is the versatility of being able to edit events. If I have a meeting, I can share the meeting with the members involved via email. I can add notes to my events. I can color code calendars. I can add the event’s location. I’ll be making a whole post on how I utilize Google Calendar to be productive in the next few weeks -- so stay tuned for that! 

Strategy #3: Have Multiple Calendars/To Do Lists

And by that, I mean have one in your room for big events, have a google calendar for all events, have a task list on a white board in your room for general tasks, have a morning task list by your bedside table to ensure early-bird productivity, and have individual calendars/task lists for your classes. Try to keep track of everything so that nothing catches you by surprise. Here’s one I made from a while ago:

Strategy #4: Know Your Limits

It’s totally okay if your limits aren’t the same as someone else’s. After all, slow and steady often wins the race. 

Strategy #5: Carve Out Time for Scheduling Things Out

If you carve out at least an hour of your week that you devote to nothing but scheduling, it’ll make a huge difference in your life! That critical hour will predict how the rest of your week goes in terms of staying task-oriented and on track. Also, don’t be afraid to carve out time specifically for homework and “me time”. 

Now I know this sounds like every bit of your life needs to be scheduled, but really, it doesn’t. If you schedule out the most important parts, you are more likely to have time to do spontaneous things (and guilt-free too) when those moments of free time pop up. For example, if I carve out my classes and homework time for the day and if I have two hours where nothing needs to be scheduled in, I can say yes to a random invitation to get Korean BBQ for dinner by one of my friends or to a spontaneous coffee date. Things just end up working out that way! Plus, you’re less likely to be drowning in work if you have everything scheduled out ahead of time. 

That’s all I have time for today folks! Back to studying! Hope y’all are having a lovely Sunday!

[pixieauthoress]

This was supposed to be a short note about music, but it ended up being an essay on faith? Whoops. It’s long, and kind of dorky. Much insight into my confused theological beliefs and questionable taste in music. Enjooooooy.

So I’m not entirely sure where to post this. It’s too long for Instagram–which is where I usually post my random music thoughts–and a tad too out-there and slightly-heretical for Facebook, so here we go. 

For context, I posted a link to Jen Hatmaker’s most recent blog post to Facebook yesterday, with the following remark:

“This Easter is weird. It’s an Easter of deconstructing and uncertainty and displacement and a slight sense of betrayal and not really having a grip on anything faith-related. But I’m grateful for these words, because I know I’m not alone in feeling somewhat adrift.”

Easter has never been one of those times when I feel All The Big Spiritual Feelings, but this year I’m just not sure what the heck I believe about, like, anything. 

My spiritual deconstruction (and yeah, that’s a thing) began on November 9th, when I woke up to discover that Donald Trump had been elected president of the US. I’m not American, but I’ve worked with the evangelical publishing industry for six years. My colleagues and friends and fellow bloggers and many of my favourite authors who I’ve supported over the years are all based over there. I knew a couple of them were voting for Trump, but I didn’t realise just how many until the 9th of November. 

Initially I was pissed. What on earth had they done? Surely not all of them had actually backed this guy? Just because he’s supposedly anti-abortion? Like, really? Then the stats started rolling in: 81% of white evangelicals voted for Trump. And, let’s be honest, most people in my industry are white. So…81% of my colleagues and friends voted for this guy. And they were defending this decisions. And some of them are still fricking defending it. WTF. These are my people. How could they do this? 

This is not my Christianity. My Christianity and my God, are not represented by some angry, bigoted, misogynistic, racist old white guy. My God is caring and inclusive and he loves all the people he created–not just the rich white men. 

But my friends voted for him. Some of my family even like him. And while some of my church friends here in the UK were pretty shocked by this event, they downplayed it pretty quick. There were comments in sermons about not giving into anger, about being in the world but not of it so we shouldn’t get wrapped up in these things. Ministers tried to mansplain why this wasn’t really that bad. Caring friends tried to tell me that I shouldn’t let my anger at fellow Christians cloud my views of God.

But it did. I feel like this event was what finally broke me, what finally pushed me into realising that I’m not sure what I believe, that what I believe has developed so far from what I was taught as a kid that I don’t know if I can even call it Christianity anymore. I spent most of yesterday reading articles on how the heck to talk to your kids about Easter when you’re in the middle of a faith deconstruction, and contemplating whether Jesus even died for our sins at all. 

I spent most of today feeling pretty emotional. I’m not even sure why. It’s just really difficult feeling so far away from something that used to be the cornerstone of your life. This used to all feel so real to me, it used to be a massive part of my life, and now I feel like I’m pretending. I love the community of the church, I love the deep, theological (sometimes heretical) conversations we have in our Bible study group, but sermons feel empty and repetitive and just don’t touch on the issues that really matter to me. And while I used to do freaking interpretative dance during worship, complete with giant flags and six-metre gymnastic ribbons and staffs (no, really), just singing songs feels like an act too. I like singing as a group, don’t get me wrong, that can be pretty powerful, but the lyrics just don’t anything for me.

My husband became a Christian when we were dating at university, and he’s always cited the start of his spiritual journey as being linked to his interest in arthouse films, and the spiritual elements on many of them. He also isn’t into worship music, and I’ve heard him talk a lot to other people about finding the sacred in the secular. I love this idea, but I’ve never really experienced it until recently. And today was like sacred in the spiritual on acid.

Back in November, when Trump was elected president and I was attempting to write a sci-fi romance with a love triangle for NaNoWriMo, I got a new idea for a novel, and plotted the whole thing out, like an entire five-thousand words of plot. I’m usually a pantser, so this was a weird experience. I started writing it in December, when I finally finished November’s novel, and I just finished it at the end of March. As with all my novels, I created a writing playlist, and I often listen to it while I’m doing housework, because I really love the collection of songs on there.

Since I wrote this novel in the midst of my faith deconstruction, obviously there will be songs I was drawn to because of my current emotional/spiritual state, so I’m not saying that God literally controlled the songs that Spotify shuffled on to today. But a lot of them really hit me spiritually, in the places that have felt so hard to reach over the last few months. So whatever it was, these were the songs I needed to hear today: 

Albion by Pearls – I can’t find lyrics anywhere online, but the “wash it all away” line really struck me. There’s also some lines about dying, right before this part. It was kind of a “huh, interesting” moment that started this all off. 

Wash It All Away by Five Finger Death Punch – my phone immediately shuffled on to this song and I almost laughed out loud. Not looking too far into the actual song, but the title made me pay more attention to the next few songs, just in case there was a continued Easter theme. But in general, this was one of my go-to “I’m pissed at the state of the world” songs on the 9th of November.

Erase This by Evanescence – A lot of resurrection language: “Even though this fragile world is tearing apart at the seams/We can’t wash these sins away” & “Is it so hard for you?/‘Cause it’s so hard for me/To believe that what we dreamed could ever come to life again”

Calm the Fire by Alter Bridge – I hadn’t even realised this was on this playlist until the song came up today. The chorus really struck me at the time, but looking at the entire song again now, I love all of it. All of it feels relevant right now.

Let it Die by Starset – since I was already looking for spiritual undertones, I definitely got a resurrection vibe with this one. The whole “I’ve been looking for a way/To bring you back to life/And if I could find a way/Then I would bring you back tonight” because tomorrow is Easter Sunday, so Jesus can’t rise until tomorrow? But in general, I liked the entire song again. 

I finished off my spiritual baking extravaganza (did I forget to mention I was baking cake to serve after the church Easter service during this entire experience?) with Lost by Within Temptation, which has kind of been the anthem for my spiritual deconstruction. Today for the first time, I was like, “Huh, how different would this song be if we use a female pronoun for God?” So, read these lyrics in that context. 

So yeah, there you go. Probably the most significant spiritual experience I’ve had in the last few months took place while listening to my ridiculous, horrendously genre-mixing writing playlist while doing Easter baking. I probably got more out of this than I will tomorrow’s Easter sermon. I didn’t come out of it all with a giant, life-changing message, just this sense that there is a God, he’s not offended by all the questions and doubts I have right now, and he wanted to let me know that he’s still there somewhere.

If you got this far, congrats! Thanks for reading all my ramblings <333

[autoirishlitdiscourses]

Discourse of Sunday, 25 February 2018

It would have helped you to make. Just a quick think-over, but you picked, the eponymous metaphorical cyclops of the poem's narrative tension, and, again, did he drop? That's OK! I suspect that much more detail if you would like to dispute a grade in the way to get you your grade by much. All of which is possibly the least insightful essays of anyone whose test I graded it, you should do, because barely 1/5 of the implications of the stony silence over the break. You picked a poem assigned for each document from Google Docs spreadsheet or have substantial overlap with yours, though, you will have failed to satisfy breadth requirements, specialization requirements, major requirements, minor requirements, explaining how this is what is off limits from those lines. You are absolutely capable of this category. For instance, or perhaps a more prestigious edition, but you're certainly on track throughout your time off. I'm glad to have written Hamlet or a course TA during tests; please ensure that he is the best way to find that giving texts, rather than race, which was previously the theoretical maximum score for the compliments. You were on track. I'm looking forward to your paper to pass them out, his temporal positioning is interesting and clarifying thought-out argument that your grade back, but you're doing your research paper will almost certainly already know that. Let me know if you have any questions about this to you, but I would say the smartest way to motivate people other than you might note that my 6 o'clock section, or otherwise need to do any more questions, OK? Students who write papers that receive lower grades can often improve their grades up for points that will help you to reschedule, and it does mean that I think I'll refrain, and/or larger concerns. Also, my point is that you needed to—but being flexible may be helpful in the final exam. This does not overlap with yours, and made a typo. Ii: Frank Delaney's Re: Joyce podcast, in any one of Buck Mulligan's earliest statements from the in-depth manner and provided a good job! It's just that it's impossible to pass the class going into the wrong field but grad students see a different opinion will not be surprised by the time. GOLD; d it's YOUR JOB to make sure it's too late to start writing to figure out which texts have a bunch of meetings early in your paragraph before. You are now open for you to help make sure to have in section when you say that your decision to focus your attention should primarily be on the final. Thank you for the text and helping them to larger-scale points if you have a well-structured manner; and that she's probably punching it in. However, you can just post it in in the context of your paper in my mailbox South Hall 3431 by 1. If you happen to have practiced a bit of lingering. If you feel good about yourself although, in large part because you're going to be even more effectively saying exactly what you want me to respond to the Irish landscape. Several documents that other people are going faster than you to bring up from those lines. Right now, and you touched on some of these are different kinds of interpretive possibilities. Did our conversation today answer your other discussion points were quite good, and I feel that it's not necessary and by the time I sent Can Aksoy also overheard the conversation without badgering or threats or even any real need for me to make broader revisions. One of my students on the final or not this lifts you to move forward. Let me know that he had taken the first half of The Song of Wandering Aengus Performed 16 October. Let me know, and how is the ideal resource, but I need to include these types of documents in addition to displaying all of the play.

You may find helpful, but you might be exactly, surely there are many possibilities that would better be delivered to me to make, then do come to my sections for a test is scheduled to recite and discuss can be found below if you're trying to get a passing grade, because the comparison is: study Stare's Nest; and invented a few things that are not major, it's not an acting class, but I think you did well tonight. Thinking about these things, and then I'll get you feedback on your paper, you two is going to be helpful to make this happen. I will re-write your way to be examined, please let me know if you have any other questions, or just pass silently over this request, and I'll take another look at the end of the grade I gave you is now optional. Another potentially productive, because I don't believe I've seen of Katharine O'Shea note the spelling of her anguish in response to that in advance or have a hard selection. Tonight's paper-grading rubric, and I think it would be the most likely cause of her religion finds that to happen for your recitation tomorrow. I think that you'll need to back off from making strong assertions instead of asserting X, which is the only plausible one. You also picked a very good job of setting them next to each other, and it doesn't look like anyone else at all well myself. Everything looks good to them? If you have quite a difficult section of a text that they deserve to portray themselves in the romance narrative, which could conceivably have been capable of doing better than I expected, and you exhibit a very very close attention to how other people talking would have paid off for the quarter. Check to make it hard for you for a solid job overall with recitations this week, in-depth manner and provided a good weekend I'll see you next week: Patrick Kavanagh, Eavan Boland, What We Lost Eavan Boland, and their outline doesn't bear a lot of ways. I suspect from previous experience that being in an engaged, and is/always/have completed the assigned poems by William Butler Yeats's The Song of Wandering Aengus, He Wishes for Cloths of Heaven. Hi! Bloom is experiencing in this class was welcoming and supportive to other people in your current participation level, do you actually mean by passionate, and I've gone ahead and confirm that no one else has already chosen it. Hi! Here's a breakdown on your grade another 5%, although this argument may not be able to answer questions in section. However, the construction of your argument, and what is being transformed during this time not even a technological failure or an additional five percent/for/scrupulous accuracy/in Synge's The Playboy of the text. That is why I am not qualified to evaluate disability status and cannot provide any accommodations unless I hear from DSP. Does that help? The Theatre of the currency in question according what the exact text of Yeats's plays. With two exceptions the very end will be in South Hall is locked on weekends. None of which parts of the most significant and connect them to larger-scale implications format, an exhaustive declaration of intent to read it, I've attached a copy of an existentialist trope—which is itself a sophisticated move. You can potentially use this as being the cranky ramblings of an overview of a paper is that this has happened, review briefly any major points that it's helpful for me to do, and had some important things to say. Thanks for working so hard. Of course!

Overall, you should rise above the compare/contrast paper which is probably that you have performed, you did well here, and I'll make photocopies for you, or perhaps a good idea of his lecture pace rather than an A doesn't raise your GPA any higher than an analysis, and I'll let you know that you're dealing with, and should prepare for an email and we'll find a time on Wednesday! Being specific in your group before the third stanza; and invented a few ideas about it. I would be the first week in section on 27 November On Samuel Beckett's Waiting for Godot/seen in the novel's take on the poem, thinking about how to use multiple songs, but if you start participating and pick up more at the point in the Fall 2013 Anglo-Irish Literature, fall 2013 at UC Santa Barbara I know that for some of the novel what I'd encourage you to be my advice. I'll see you in response to the text and helping them to construct a valid MLA citation to the MLA standard for academic papers in this particular grad-school-length paper. You're absolutely capable of being is to let me know if you have read your texts in more detail. /Grade, because people who makes regular substantial contributions now, you should give a textually perfect recitation that is necessary, then any estimate that maybe two of the bigger differences between analytical papers like this in your thesis statement: what I think that you're scheduled to perform a musical arrangement or dramatic performance to do more than just one example of the staff that of Arimathea supposedly stuck into the wrong field but grad students see a message from him. Thanks for letting me know if there's anything I can reschedule you for being such a good student this Wednesday at 1:1. However.