#how did you expect him to be? a good fairy godmother??

[aleksanderscult]

After 400 years of existence full of war, blood, killings, a mother who manipulated him and emotionally abused him, watching his lovers and friends die constantly before him, witnessing his people getting murdered, tortured and being spit on and seeing useless Kings and Queens come and go lounging on their chairs without improving the situation of his beloved country, I think Aleksander Morozova had every bit of a right to go into some psycho mode eventually, don't you think?🙂

[i-will-cry-you-a-river]

Based on this post

The Proud Immortal Demon Way was a clusterfuck. Master Airplane was a fucking hack of an author who should never ever be allowed to write papapa. The characters were complete idiots, so blind and stupid and Shen Yuan suspected the close proximity to the abundance of aphrodisiacs was to be blamed for the lack of intelligence points. The plot was nonexistent, the fantastic flora and fauna was forgotten for more pointless papapa. However!

However…

Shen Yuan had to admit. The fanarts and fan merch did not do justice to the beauties residing in the universe.

That hack of an author could not write porn. But his characters really were peerless beauties. One would think if the beauty standards were this high that everyone was a peerless beauty, they should be considered as normal.

One would think it wrong. If he could, he would take back his comments on this specific topic; their beauties really were peerless.

One, like the blooming peach blossom, charming and deceptively sweet; another like the oak tree, tall and reliable; and another like the prettiest blue iris, knowledgeable and lovely. It was a disaster.

Back then it was only the blackened protagonist and his life sized body pillow that made him go through a sexuality crisis. As a shut-in, the people he met with never really made him feel warm under the collar, so being gay was only a theoretical experience for him, only having crushes on fictional people. Now, on the other hand, it was a completely different experience.

He couldn't even step outside of his bedroom without feeling like an emotional wreck. The minute he does that-

“This discipline made breakfast for Shizun!”

The radiant halo of the protagonist blinded him day after day; his precious white lotus is just the cutest and purest, fluffiest sheep ever. Shen Yuan can see the future Emperor in him, the husband of hundreds of pretty flowers, but he was still just his 17 years old discipline, so filial and full of wonder.

Ah, Binghe, such a good boy for this master…

“This master is thankful. Go along now, your shijie is waiting for you,” Shen Qingqiu waved his fan. His little white lotus pouted as if Shen Qingqiu would believe he wasn't excited to spend time with his future wife. He encouraged the two of them to spend time together, and he was certain that the sweet and touching young love bloomed under his careful watch. He was like a fairy godmother…

[-10 protagonist satisfaction points]

Shen Qingqiu sighed behind his open fan. Luo Binghe started to become a homebody, which, as a past homebody himself, knew was a slippery slope and even with all the lost points, he had to make sure his white sheep left the bamboo house. Staying home was great, but when you were the future Emperor of the Three Realms, defeater of countless monsters and husband of a triple digits harem, you just had to learn how to be open to new experiences. Sorry, Binghe…

“Yes, Shizun! This discipline will leave now.” Luo Binghe bows, and it takes everything not to touch and pat his fluffy head.

“Good. This master expects excellence from his disciples.”

“Yes, Shizun. This discipline understands and will do everything to exceed Shizun’s expectations.”

Such a filial discipline! Such a sweet white lotus! This one is truly a scum villain to do what he needs to do.

[Host is-]

I know I know! You don't have to remind me![(⁠ب⁠_⁠ب⁠)]

Shen Qingqiu sighed, hiding his shame and regret behind his mask. He really was just a scum villain.

With a conscious decision to not think about the future, he ate his breakfast instead, noting the protagonist’s amazing cooking powers. He would miss this after Luo Binghe gets married and starts to cook for his wives instead.

Maybe the guy he finds for himself will be good at cooking… nothing compared to the protagonist, of course, but nobody can be compared to him. That would be unfair for his potential partner.

However, even though he'd been Shen Qingqiu for three years, he hasn't yet found anybody for himself. He tried to flirt, he tried to see who might be gay other than him - statistically, there should be SOMEONE, right?! -, but no results.

The Sect Leader immediately brother-zoned Shen Qingqiu through his and the original good's past bond, which was quite unfair in Shen Yuan's opinion. Yue Qingyuan was a fine specimen of a man. Strong and reliable, just the kindest man Shen Qingqiu ever met. He was the perfect man, THE husband material. Yet, the original good has been so cold to him, cruelly causing his death, even though they were like brothers. Shen Yuan wouldn't have minded the Sect Leader as his husband; someone loyal and powerful, someone who could protect him from his blackened lotus. So unfair…

His Liu-shidi, the prettiest man alive, was so straight, only the protagonist was straighter than him. Shen Qingqiu was honestly sad for him; all the women in PiDW belonged to the Emperor. He was quite tempted to find a way to punch Airplane Shooting Towards Sky in his face for making Liu Qingge straight. Look. Shen Yuan was a weak, weak man; if Liu Qingge would show the slightest inclination to be at least bi-curious, he would be all over his shidi in a heartbeat. That man, honestly… it was no wonder the author killed him before the plot. Liu Qingge was typically the Second Male Lead, who was the boyfriend of all readers. (He definitely would have been Shen Yuan's fictional boyfriend, that's for sure. Maybe if he would have stayed alive in the novel, Shen Yuan wouldn't have minded the lack of plot that much. Liu Qingge would have definitely made the whole thing a thousand times better just by being alive. Like he did it now. The best times of the week were when his shidi visited him to spar or to cleanse his meridians.)

Shen Qingqiu had high hopes for Mu Qingfang. The doctor was quite queer in the sense of being weird. He hoped he was queer as in gay as well. However, the only time Shen Qingqiu tried to flirt with him, resulted in a two day stay at Cang Qiong mountain under constant supervision. That was a quite humiliating result, if he could say so.

Shen Qingqiu bit back a groan. No matter; that was just the peak lords he kept close contact with. He had the whole universe to find that one (1) gay person who would be happy to spend that depressingly short amount of time with him until he was still alive. He might have only five years to live, before he would become a human stick, but he would NOT die as a virgin disaster gay. He would remain a disaster gay forever, but he would lose his virginity before his death, damnit!

Now, volunteer, where are you?

Here they are

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hello! How have you been lately? I hope you sleep well and eat tasty food!

I wanted to participate in your new blog event. I want to see interaction between ~deadbeat dad~ Crowley and our dear uncles, ghosts from Ramshackle dorm. You can decide which topic they will be talking about, I just wanna see ghosts more in twst fandom. They're so rare to see and it upsets me(ू˃̣̣̣̣̣̣︿˂̣̣̣̣̣̣ ू) give more application to our ghosts! 👻👻👻

(I hope I wrote this right how it supposed to be wrote in this event. Sorry for grammar errors)

... I was going to include the Ramshackle Ghosts in the banner, but couldn't find any chibi sprites of them that were high res enough to use. That's it, that's my commentary 🙂

Family means Nobody is Left Behind or Forgotten.

Ramshackle was a marked improvement from its sorry state in the autumn. The cobwebs, dust, and mildew had been cleared away, as if done by the hand of a benevolent fairy godmother. Rotting wood had been replaced with fresh panels, and the walls were coated with a glossy new color. The paintings and furniture had either been restored or replaced, antiques polished and set back up on display.

It's almost like Ramshackle before its ruin, Crowley noted, shutting the door behind him.

He strutted a few paces in, his cane clacking sharply against the floorboards. Crowley cleared his throat, the sound echoing in the foyer, then called out. "Ghosts?"

A reply came at once, accompanied by a cool sensation spiderwalking down Crowley's spine. This, he knew, was the telltale sign of a supernatural being's arrival.

Three pale bodies materialized before him. One tall and scrawny, the second small and compact, and the third wide and squat. Each ghost--A, B, and C--wore a top hat and a cloak.

"Mweeheehee... You rang, headmaster?"

"Aaah, there's my lovely Ramshackle trio!!" Crowley cooed, spreading his arms out with a flourish. "Good afternoon! I hope you're doing well."

"As well as we can be in the afterlife," Ghost A cackled.

"We weren't expecting visitors," C remarked.

"What brings ya here?" B floated around Crowley in a circle. "Rare for you to drop on by for a casual visit."

"Ah, that." He thoughtfully stroked at his chin. "Today is Family Day at Night Raven College and--well--I figure that you three upstanding gentlemen count as the guardians of our dear Prefect and Grim-kun. You live under the same roof, share household responsibilities, and have a deep bond. You may not be related by blood, but this arrangement could classify as a 'found family'. That would make you eligible to sit in at parent-teacher conferences."

"Oooh, are we being invited to the event?" Ghost A asked excitedly. "I was popular with the ladies back in my day, but I didn’t have the chance to do something like this. Never did manage settle down..."

"Can we really be where the people are?" B chimed in. "It's been a while since we got to stretch our ectoplasm. When was the last time? Halloween, was it?"

"But all those meetings sound like a bore," complained C. "You sure we can't just scare the daylights out of the parents and siblings instead?"

"There will be NO scaring the daylights out of anyone!" Crowley stopped himself and smoothed down his feathers. "As you can imagine, I'm a very busy man and I haven't got all day! Please make your decisions now."

The Ramshackle Ghosts glanced at one another. Murmurs passed between them.

"Well... They don't have anyone else but us, do they? Because Yuu-kun is from another world and Grimmy doesn't remember where he came from."

"They've always been there for us when we needed them the most. We've had so much fun together too. Keeping us company, playing magift, celebrating Halloween and the winter holidays..."

"It'd be sad if they were the only ones left out of Family Day. No one likes being excluded from the festivities."

Silence. Then mutual understanding lit up their eyes. The answer was staring at them right in the face this entire time.

"We'll do it!!" the ghosts cried in unison.

Crowley's lips curved upward. "A most excellent choice. Yuu-kun and Grim-kun are so very fortunate to have a family as loving as this."

[thegoldencontracts]

RAHHHRAHHRAHHH

Overblotters with a MC/Yuu who’s got a magic wand? Like fairy godmother’s wand from descendants or the live action Cinderella (powerful yet elegant and graceful, bonus if she is a healer or if there’s butterflies)

Tyyy for the request mootie (i'm sorry this took me so long RAHHH *unleashes wolf form)

Overblotters With a Fairy-Godmother!MC

Riddle Rosehearts ♡:

Shocked, that's for sure.

Before the overblot, he did definitely judge you a tad. He saw you as weak, a pushover.

Now he sees you're anything but that. Especially after recalling your high-level magic during the overblot.

Afterwards, he definitely appreciates you're friendship. You're kind and willing to forgive him for his mistakes, but you're defiant and willing to tell him when he's overstepped. For someone who's suffered as much as he has due to a lack of others being willing to be honest with him, it's rather refreshing.

Sometimes, he can't help but instinctually lean on you, or expect your kind words. It's embarrassing for him, but rather sweet, how he's grown used to your companionship.

Leona Kingscholar ✩:

He kind of saw this coming.

He's smart, and he's pretty observant, too. He would tell that something else was going on with you.

And then, the overblot comes, and... yep! You're strong.

Still, you're stronger than he thought. Especially considering how sweet you act most of the time.

What he doesn't expect, though, is for you to tell him that, though you can't excuse his actions, he seems kind inside, and you're here if he needs anything.

He's annoyed at first, but with time, your company becomes something that just brightens up his day,

Don't tease him about it, please (Or do, if you want to see the cutest reaction ever).

Azul Ashengrotto ✧:

He can't particularly think about it at the moment.

All he can feel is, well- pathetic. you've beaten him so easily. Was it fun? Are you laughing? Seven, it stings.

And yet, you don't laugh. You don't jeer with the rest as pictures of his horrendously fat childhood self are shown.

During the museum visit, you ask him if he's alright. Although it's clear you haven't forgotten what he's done to you, nor do you intend to, but you're trying to see where he's coming from.

Though he's certainly standoffish at first, he can't help but grow all too fond of your kindness, your firm yet comforting nature.

Jamil Viper ✮:

Jamil is rather shocked.

You, of all people? You? But you're... well...

It comes as quite the blow when you beat him at his full potential, to be frank.

He'd never really thought much of you. That proved to be a mistake.

However, what shocked him even more was that you seemed understanding. You wanted to know him, the real him.

And, though he's standoffish, and he can sometimes be even a bit too harsh with you, well-

He appreciates your company.

Vil Schoenheit ☾:

Vil is consumed in his own guilt during the overblot. How could he poison Neige? How could he do something so- ugly?

He's wracked by his own grief afterwards, when you approach him, asking if he's okay.

You seem a tad disappointed with his behavior, but, overall, understanding.

You truly do seem to admire him, though. It's a lovely sentiment.

He can't help but grow to cherish your company.

That, and, you have a very good sense of fashion. He approves.

Idia Shroud ✺:

He's a bit shocked, but he also kind of saw this coming. Ortho saw it while checking up on your stats.

Afterwards, you can't help but hold a grudge against him for kidnapping Grim. That's okay. He doesn't like you either.

He can't stand how nice you are, how everyone seems to enjoy your company, how you socialize with the normies-

Okay, he's definitely a bit envious. You're kind, and sociable, and, well, he's not. Sure, as much as he wishes everything he says about the normies was true, deep down, he can't help but wish he could talk to others more.

After the overblot, you still try to be nice to him, though there's still a bit of tension due to the fact that he put Grim in harm's way.

Malleus Draconia ❂:

He's rather impressed. He could sense your underlying power.

Regardless, he's rather fond of you. You're kind, willing to talk to him like normal even once you find out his identity as Malleus Draconia.

After his overblot, you're rather stern with him, but also rather concerned. Is he alright? Overblot is quite the taxing experience, after all.

Though you give him quite the talking-to, you still help tend to his wounds, asking him why he felt the need to bottle up his emotions.

Overall, you truly are one of Malleus's favorite humans.

[breach-doll]

Shard Pilot Nebula

Nebula had never really thought much about joining the army.

Nebula hadn't thought about joining the army when she was very young. She remembered wanting to be something pink, like a fairy godmother or a magical princess.

Nebula hadn't thought about joining the army when she was in grade school, when -̶̳͓̔̄̑͑.��̴̨̨̟̼̪̘͓̖͔̳̄͛̽̈́̈́̋͝ͅ)̴̧͎̥͙͙̈̐̿̇͜ã̷̡̞̟̖̺͎͂̓͛`̶̛̛͚̼͈͇̒̌!̴͙̣̖̪͔̦̋͛̀̎̌͒#̶̞̤̣͈̈́̕>̷̩̱̈́̌.̴̘͔͓̗̆̋̒͝͠,̶̪͑≮̭̲̝̻͖̆̊̃͆̄̈͜ ̴̪̪̱̦͂w̸̞̼͖̄ ȟ̸̛͔̖͍̗͇̘̇͛̐͘ÿ̷̲͔̳́̑̂̌ ̵̨̢̦̼͚̟̇̃w̸̢̡͇̒ h̶̨̜̞̉̅̾̈́̃ y̶̧̧̮̣͓̹̑͐͒ ̸̤͓̼̓ w̷̨̢̨̗̠͙̋̄ĥ̴̻̩̯̱̌̊̎̊ y̶̲̙̳̳̒͜ ̸̙̺̜̬̻̌͗͠w̵̢̝̖̹̯̓h̷̩͔̺̼͇̋͆́̕͘͜ỳ̵̫̖̥̙̄ ̷͆͒̊̃͘ͅ:̷̢͇̬̲̥̞̉͑;̴̠̕ͅ"̸̨̨͕̘̻͆̀͋͋͝\̷̩͊̈́̽|̶̵͚̹͖̝̍͋̎̑̔̕͝͝%̶͖͈̲̌̍́͝

Nebula hadn't thought about joining the army in high school, although she didn't think much at all around then. That made her grades bad. People would ask her if she was okay for a while, but eventually her grades got better and they left her alone.

Nebula hadn't thought about joining the army when she went to prom. She did think about the boy holding her hand - why did she have to wear a suit and he a dress? - because he was nice and made her not feel anything for a while, though he never listened when she told him to stop. But nobody was perfect, after all...

Nebula hadn't thought about joining the army when she got accepted to college. She'd just taken the first one that accepted her. Her advisor had looked at Nebula sideways, and asked if she didn't want to take some time to think about it? She didn't see the point, though. The boy was upset, but she didn't think about that either.

Nebula hadn't thought about joining the army in her first year of college, since she was too busy worrying about the Affinity Assessment Automaton. She had heard they used some sort of machine to look inside of your mind, and that terrified her for some reason, even though it was supposed to find a good job for people. She would spend days and days trying to find any kind of document about how the Automaton was supposed to work, but to no avail.

Nebula hadn't thought about joining the army after the end of the first year, because she had just seen the Affinity Assessment Automaton. She had cried in the nurse's arms before the scan, and he had looked very confused and distinctly uncomfortable. The scan itself wasn't anywhere near what she had expected, just a camera pointed at her head. It took some pictures and that was that. A classmate had told her she should get an email with the available tracks for her, but the nurse wouldn't let her go home. A blonde woman in a suit came into the room, and asked her a lot of strange questions, like do you ever hear voices when you're alone? do you ever feel like you are a different person? Nebula didn't want to think about the questions, so she just answered "no" to them all until the woman stopped asking and frowned at her. Nebula didn't say anything else and they let her go home.

Nebula hadn't thought about joining the army in her second year of college, because she got her assessment email and was studying to become an accountant. They made good money and didn't have to make many decisions and Nebula was just fine with that.

Nebula hadn't thought about joining the army when the boy came to her school in the middle of the second year. He looked much better, muscular and trim, and was wearing a frightening looking uniform, all in grey with silver trim and black shiny boots. He wanted to get dinner so Nebula agreed, and he asked her a lot of questions she didn't know anything about. So, Nebula, you remember when we would talk about your `friends'? Turns out you're special! There's a really unique opportunity that I want to talk about, if you're interested? She told him she just wanted to be an accountant and not make decisions and he told her to think about it a little. Later he didn't listen to her, and he left her alone in her dorm after making her promise to think about it.

Nebula hadn't thought about joining the army when the boy came to her school near the start of the third year. He looked much better, muscular and trim with some serious looking scars on his face and arms, and was wearing a familiar Expeditionary Force's uniform, all in grey with silver trim and black shiny boots. He wanted to get dinner so Nebula agreed, and he asked her a lot of questions and seemed a little angrier than she remembered him. Don't you remember? I came to talk to you about a job. Did you just forget entirely? She didn't really care about that and told him so, and he got very still and said, Don't you know you can't be an accountant if you can't remember important conversations? Later he didn't listen to her , but Nebula was sort of used to that since a lot of other people in her classes didn't listen to her either. He stayed in her dorm and took her to the advisor the next day, then the doctor, then the advisor again. He left the next day and told her to expect company, but they'll take good care of you.

Nebula hadn't thought about joining the army when the women came to her school near the start of the third year. They both wore Expeditionary Force uniforms, all in grey with silver trim and black shiny boots, and they told her to come with them. Nebula refused, and they dragged her outside into a car as she cried for help. Nobody came, but nobody listened to her when she cried, so she wasn't very surprised.

Nebula hadn't thought about joining the army when she woke up in the room. It was cold, and the air was dry, and everything was a uniform shade of white. Food came through the single door sometimes, all bland white mush. Nobody came or spoke to her at all.

Nebula hadn't thought about joining the army when she heard the voice. Hey. Where are we? She wondered if she was imagining things, and the voice said, No, dumbass. Focus. Where are we? Nebula didn't wan't to focus, and when the voice pressed her she started to cry. After a while, the door opened, and the boy came in. The voice said, Oh no, no no no no - but Nebula stopped paying attention. The boy asked, What's wrong, Nebula? and she told him about the voice. He was very kind and listened to her and took her to a room with a blonde woman in a suit. The woman put a helmet with wires and lights sticking out of it on her head and told her to take deep breaths and

Constellation was FURIOUS. That fucking little bitch had had the Expeditionary Forces kidnap them, and now they were doing some weird kind of fucked up experiment? What the - Oh hello! Oh god what the fuck is happening here? Why can I see you? I don't know! Do you see - Activating shard neural link - A sudden *crack* and Constellation saw a runway before her. A sudden *crack* and Nebula saw a long, concrete strip before her. Everything suddenly started to move -

Nebula thought about joining the army almost every day, now, it felt like. She still stayed in the white room, and spent most of the time staring blankly at the walls. Mostly she would see Constellation in the wall and she talked to her, and they'd chat about the game they played where they pretended to be a family and had a dog and a horse. Sometimes the boy came in and talked to her about how she was doing really well and she was getting better so quickly, and wouldn't it be great to join the Expeditionary Force soon? Sometimes she talked to the blonde woman in the suit about scary dreams she had on occasion, when she and Constellation and some other girls were birds and they would rip and tear together through metal and wires and bone and flesh and concrete and lead, and she would feel this desperate pleasure as she ripped into people who cried for mercy and cried for their mothers and cried for their lives. Sometimes she talked to the blonde woman in the suit about the boy, because he didn't listen to her, but the blonde woman told her she shouldn't think too much about it because boys will be boys.

Nebula finally joined the army! They gave her her own shiny uniform, all in grey with silver trim and black shiny boots. She liked the uniform because it made her look like everyone else. They told her she was a Shard Pilot now, with Constellation and the other girls, and that she was a valued member of the Expeditionary Force. Constellation said it didn't really matter so Nebula didn't think much about it either. The boy still didn't listen to them, but the blonde woman called someone and got them sent a little dog of their very own. Things were looking up overall! The army wasn't so bad!

[plant-lesbian569]

Finally got round to watching Cinderellas Castle

Bryce was absolutely incredible as Ella, I knew she could sing but her voice blew me away. Ella is such a great character too, you can see that she is deeply traumatised with hopes and dreams and Bryce conveyed that brilliantly.

James as the Prince was honestly one of the highlights for me. Going in I wasn’t sure that I’d enjoy his character but from the moment we first saw him I was hooked, he was so funny.

Angela is such a good villain. The Stepmother commanded the stage. There were moments that I completely forgot it was Angela because she was so different from how we’ve seen her before. Girlie has range.

Lauren and Mariah were amazing as a duo. Justine and Lucy were lovely and then the contrast to Puttice and Rancilda. So glad Rancilda got to live under her bridge in the end.

I really wish we could have seen more of Kim as the fairy queen of sweet dreams, although I fear it is common in Cinderella adaptations for the fairy godmother to be a brief character. Either way her voice was incredible and I loved how they did her multiple arms.

Curt as Tadius was as great as I expected. You could really tell how increasingly done he was with the Prince throughout the show.

Jon and Joey really brought those puppets to life. Crumb and Sir Hop A Lot I love you both forever.

And Jeff Slayed as the narrator, what more can I say.

Overall I loved the show. I cannot wait to listen to the soundtrack and see the proshot. I think the last few songs at the end of act 1 were probably my favourite but that view might be different on rewatching

[duchessdulce]

“Draco, are you gay?”

Draco’s head snapped up. Greg Goyle, large and solid as a pile of boulders, was sitting on the bed next to his, looking at him. Draco had been sitting on his own bed, leafing through a pile of library books, but he let the book in his hands drop now as he quickly scanned the dormitory. He and Greg were alone.

“What?” Draco said.

“I asked if you’re gay,” Greg said.

“What do you think?” Draco said, his tone tetchy. This was a forbidden topic of conversation. It was an unspoken rule. Draco had thought Greg would know this without being told.

“I think you’re kinda gay,” Greg said.

“That was a rhetorical question,” Draco said. “That means I didn’t really want you to answer.”

“Are you attracted to me?” Greg asked.

“Don’t flatter yourself,” Draco snapped. “You’re not that attractive.”

There was a silence, and Draco winced.

“That’s not �� You’re asking upsetting questions. You can’t expect me not to —”

Greg just sat there looking at him, solid and impassive as always.

Draco took a deep breath and started again.

“You’re a good looking young man, Goyle. You’ve got a sort of rugged, mountain man thing going on. I think you should grow a beard when we get older.”

“Yeah?” Greg said, stroking his chin thoughtfully.

“You’re just not my type,” Draco finished.

“You want someone scrawny like you,” Greg said knowingly.

“Well, maybe,” Draco said. Then, indignant, “Hey! Did you just call me scrawny?”

“I get it,” Goyle said. “I like scrawny girls.”

“I am not scrawny,” Draco said. “I know you kept the copy of our fashion magazine that Pansy and I gave you.”

“I kept that for Pansy’s legs, not yours,” Greg said.

“How dare you, Goyle. I have excellent legs. Some people would say they’re my best asset. And those people…” Draco added as an afterthought, “have forgotten to look at my face. And my hair.”

“You do spend a lot of time on your hair. And it looks pretty okay, I guess. Any bloke who also likes other blokes would be lucky to get you,” Greg added generously.

“Thank you, Goyle,” Draco said stiffly.

—from Narcissa Malfoy, Fairy Godmother (a Drarry fic)

Read more here

Chapter 14 is up!

[misscherry-26]

Cinderella - Andy Barber

Pairing: Prince!Andy Barber x Cinderella!reader

Warnings: SMUT! ORAL SEX (F)

Author's note: second fic of the AU. Big thanks to my friend @cevans-1981 for helping me with this one! It took me a lot to finish it since I kinda lost inspiration in the way. I hope all of you like it!

Taglist: (Open) @optimisticallygarbage @smile1318 @she-wolf09231982 @alessandraavengers @octobers-snow @imrandomstuffsblog @sizzlingfurydeer @dollylottie

You couldn't believe it. The dress you worked on so much time, to wear tonight, was ripped, and destroyed.

You can't believe how cruel your stepmother is. After everything your father did for her, and her daughters – your stepsisters. They were always jealous of you.

But you are not going to lay on bed and cry. Oh no.

Sitting on the chair of your small desk, in your room, in the attic, you draw a new design. Something that attracts attention. Yes, something that will make you stand out from everyone at the dance, even make your stepmother realize who you are.

"Do you think we will be able to make that on time?" Jaq asks you while checking your design.

"We cou-could call her! The lady!" Gus exclaims.

"What lady, Gus?" You stop drawing and look at the little mouse, who eats a little cheese.

"Oh yeah! Gus and I read it in an old book" Jaq jumps from the desk and runs fast to find something.

"But you guys can't read!"

"We–we saw the drawings!!" Gus says.

He, then, comes back with a book, sliding it on the floor. You get up and take it, relieving a lot of help from him. You know this book. It's the one your father used to read to you every night.

Once you set the book on the desk, Gus and Jaq open it to find the drawing they are talking about. When they do, they step on it, “this one, look!”

You pay attention to the drawing and understand what they were trying to say to you. The fairy Godmother.

“We need to call her!” gus states

But how do I do that guys?

"Well, we don't know, we-we can't read it" Gus lowers his little head.

"Yeah but we do know that whatever you say, she will appear here and help you with whatever you want or need. She only does it with people like you. Good people."

You think for a second. Gus and Jaq are right. You need to do this fast if you want to go. In a few minutes the dance is about to start.

You called her. You did what's written in the story, not exactly expecting it to come true. But it did. The fairy godmother was kind to you and helped you, claiming that you are a good person. But she also asked if she could make some changes to your dress, claiming that you will catch the prince's eyes as soon as you make a step in the palace. And not only that, but she also made Gus and Jaq humans, very handsome men, you can't deny that, and a beautiful carriage, but only until twelve o'clock the spell will last, the fairy reminded you. After that hour, your dress, your friends, the carriage, everything will vanish.

“We are here Cinderella” Gus lets you know. Jaq opens the carriage door and you step out of it, getting out with a little help, since the dress is too big.

“You look beautiful Cinderella” Your two, now humans, friends praise.

The dress is a beautiful light blue color, with a thin layer of glitter that illuminates every part of it. Your hair is styled in a simple but elegant bun, and on your feet, you wear dainty heels in the same color as the dress.

“You will definitely catch the prince's eyes. You truly look like a princess. Now go!”

"And don't forget to enjoy the ball!" Gus reminds you.”

"Of course! Thank you guys!" You say before they leave you alone at the entrance of the palace.

~A couple of minutes later ~

Turning around to find something to eat, you bump into someone, their drink falls on your beautiful dress, dyeing it red.

"Oh I'm so sorry." Your eyes drift to the person who spilled the drink on your dress. It hit you. It was Prince Andrew.

"Oh it's alright." He says smiling.

You give him a soft smile in return.

A soft slow dance song came on. “May I have this dance?” The prince asked.

“Yes, you may.” You nod in response.

He picked up your hand and placed one on your waist as the two of you danced the night away. You tried to avoid his gaze from him through the dance but Andrew took you by your chin, raising your gaze, "You have a beautiful face."

You giggle, nervous, "than-thank you"

It seems time has passed because people around you and him were clapping. The song ended.

He then let you go while looking at you with a smirk “Can I show you something?”

“Of course.” You are a bit confused. Not understanding the meaning of the question. What could possibly want him to show you? Maybe he already knows who you are.

He takes your hand and leads the way to the unknown, for you at least…

"Here we are." He steps aside to let you see a beautiful garden, Illuminated by nothing but moonlight. Flowers of all kinds and colors adorn each little square of land.

"It's…it's beautiful" you say amazed.

"It is, isn't it?" Andrew responds as he stands behind you, gently taking you around the waist and pulling you towards him. "Beautiful like you" he whispers in your ear.

He turns you around. His look now is different. It's filled with passion, and desire. Truth is, since you put a foot inside the room, he was amazed by you. He saw that you were…unique in a way the others weren't. Like those two sisters with their mother, for example, the poor woman was desperate to pair one, or both daughters with him.

But no. You were made for him. He already knows that.

Slowly Andy begins to leave kisses on your neck. He does it slowly, so as not to bother or scare you, but seeing that you don't object, he continues.

Grabbing your waist again, he turns you around so you're face to face with him, and without warning, he engulfs you in a fiery kiss, leaving you half stunned at how to react.

But the problem was not only that. So concentrated thinking about whether to continue the kiss or not, you didn't hear how the bells began to ring.

You quickly move away from him and, without issuing any dialogue, you run away.

You have to find your friends, mentally you ask that it is not too late. But it is.

Suddenly you find yourself walking barefoot. But what... your hair now falls on your shoulders, I have to hurry, I have to hurry...

So focused, you didn't realize that Andy was behind you, trying to stop you.

Your dress begins to fade, you notice as you run, so you stop for a bit. Your body is only adorned by lingerie. The one you drew in the sketchbook.

Why would the fairy godmother leave me alone with this one? Unless…

You jump when you feel someone grab your arm. Andrew stops you and notices your new outfit.

“What–” but you cut him off by kissing him. He doesn't need to know the truth, not yet at least.

“My… you're even more impressive than ever,” Andy blurts out those words, growling between the kiss as his cock twitches in his pants. He stops the kiss just to look at you for a few seconds, as if he wants your consent to what is about to happen.

You are both alone, probably in one of the many acres of the great castle. Andy's home.

You nod, and Andy doesn't wait another second and he kisses you hungrily again. You claw at his hair as you moan between kisses.

Andy takes you by the legs and lifts you up, you grab hold of his neck and wrap your legs around him, feeling how he squeeze your butt.

You can feel how hard Andy is, and he feels how wet you are.

“Already wet from just this?” he stops and smirks as you nod while biting your lip.

"Baby, I haven't even started yet"

“Then start. Now” you hinted.

“Like this? He holds you tight as he starts walking to a tree. Your back hits the three, he devours your mouth again and starts to lower to your neck, your hands get lost in his short hair from him, grabbing some strands due to what he is making you feel.

"You like this, huh?" he asks you but you can't answer, so instead you let out a moan.

Andy smirks. “I will take that as a yes, sweetheart” He plops you down on the floor, but stops you with one hand, telling you to stay like that. He lowers himself till he reaches his favorite part of him.

“Can I?” He traces a finger over your pantie. You nod.

He puts one of your legs over his shoulder and sinks his face between your sweet femininity. Grabbing the fine fabric in his teeth and running to the side, just long enough for him to taste your sensitive little bell.

At this moment you appreciate being away from everyone, because your moans cause a lot of noise.

“Scream all you want, no one will hear us” He says, as if he just read your mind.

With one hand you hold on to Andy's head, from time to time generating more pressure between your sweet and wet pussy and his face. Andy's tongue moves in a thousand different ways, your mind can't process which way it goes every second.

Andy takes a scant second to insert his fingers into your mouth, you accept and lubricate them, a fine line of saliva sticking to your mouth as he removes them.

Andy smirks, and proceeds to grope your vaginal entrance while continuing to savor you. Andy never inserts his fingers, but god, you never knew that action alone would turn you on so much. You gasp as Andy enjoys eating you. Your body begins to express it, your grip is stronger, your abdomen contracts, feeling as if a knot is forming.

Are you going to cum? huh?”

You're not quick. He intensifies his movements, adding more pressure with his tongue on your clit as he also has all his mouth in there, as if he were drinking from her.

"C'mon...c'mon"

"Please, please, please!" you say in between the moans and when you can't hold it anymore, you give up letting out a long ah!, feeling how your juices descend to end up in Andy's mouth, who sighs when he feels you reaching your climax.

He stays there for a minute, waiting for you to come back to reality.

He gets up when he sees that your breathing is back to normal and kisses you passionately, you tasting your own juices in his mouth.

And this is how Prince Andrew found her Princess, Cinderella…

THE END.

[nandysparadox]

The State of Dreaming, Ch.5: Starring Role

Photo by Natalia Y. via Unsplash.

“It almost feels like a joke to play a part / When you are not a starring role, in someone else's heart” - Starring Role, MARINA

Previous - Starring Role - Next - Masterpost - [ AO3 ]

Rated T - CW: swearing, imprisonment, non-consensual touching (on part of the vines), blood mention - WC: 4268

—

Page 25, paragraph 3. He flipped through the book pages, looking through the numbered corners — repeating the information in his head as he searched.

Logan pinned his finger down just as he landed on the right page.

‘Magical artifacts can have varying properties depending on intent. They could be cursed just as they could be enchanted. While there are also, of course, the objects which are of legend, which can straddle such categories.’

Logan furrowed his brow and glanced towards the books piled on his desk. He’d already exhausted the ones about enchantments or curses — which weren’t few, mind you. He hadn’t expected a library in the imagination to be so extensive, though he supposed he took Roman’s attention to detail for granted. He rarely did anything by halves.

The works filled the shelves and contained information from anything about magic to native plants to beasts. All that was so unfamiliar to Logan’s role categorized in meticulous guides and descriptions. It was… strange.

Logan tended to avoid this sort of fantastical make-believe. As he'd done, since they stepped into the Imagination. But, reading all Roman had to say about it — and undoubtedly, Roman was the one who wrote it all, which sounded like an absurdly tall order for a single side — it seemed fascinating.

Curiosity certainly wasn’t foreign to Logan. He’d even say it was an integral part of his role, as the side that championed Thomas’ learning – though it had  always been directed towards the real world. Despite that, he found Roman had a way of stitching what was real and with the imaginative that, for lack of a better word, was intriguing. Logan didn’t know what to do with that feeling.

Although, he did have to say Roman’s organizational system was lacking. As in, he had none. When they found him, Logan would have to recommend some sort of index.

Turning his attention back to the search, he turned to peek at the stack of books he hadn’t yet read. Logan supposed another one speaking about artifacts of legend would be a good guess.

He reached for the fifth volume, laying it open on the table of contents. A later item caught his attention as he scanned through the list and he paused.

“The tracker mirror. Page 121.” It wouldn’t be the first, and likely not the last, mirror artifact he’d read about, but he couldn’t help but hope as he turned to the page in question.

The text was formatted around a drawing, positioned right in its center. A handheld mirror, its handle painted in golden watercolors. 

‘The tracker mirror — Enchanted to reflect the whereabouts of any object or person the user wants to locate.’

Well, if that wasn’t the one the Fairy Godmother hoped they found, it surely wouldn’t hurt to have some sort of direction for the other items. Logan reached into his satchel and pulled out his journal so he could note it down.

"Guarded by the three women of the lake, the mirror can be found in the bottom of  Tillrose Lake, in the heart of the Winterhill Woods. Such a lake is known to be hidden away in the depths of the forest, which houses the most unusual creatures and is reported to twist adventurers around. Beware.”

“The three women of the lake,” Logan muttered as he wrote. Hopefully they’d be open to trading, otherwise he wasn’t sure how well they’d fare in a fight.

After finishing his notes, Logan gathered the books he wanted to bring along and checked them out at the librarian’s desk. Unlike the other figments he’d met along the way, they didn’t seem like the type for small talk. Logan was thankful for that. He needed to get this information to the other sides as quickly as possible.

As he began pushing books into the satchel, he lingered on the thought of them. Logan doubted the others found something, with such a lackluster strategy. He’d be surprised if they did something other than sight-seeing. Not that he believed that they would be of no help, but surely if they followed some kind of plan—

Logan stumbled as his hand went right through the bag, right up to his elbow. He pulled it out warily. The satchel showed no changes to appearance or weight, despite the many books it held. Raising an eyebrow, Logan slowly pushed his hand back in. A quick inspection showed the interior fit way more than what should be possible.

Some sort of portal, perhaps? Before he could wonder any further, the creak of a chair being dragged against the floor startled him. A figment rushed by, a mess of scrolls rolled in their arms. Logan glanced to where they’d been sitting and resisted the urge to sigh.

Books and scrolls and feathers piled up in the desk in a total state of disarray. Was it too difficult to clean up before leaving or were they just trying to make the librarians job harder? Were he not in such a tight schedule, Logan would’ve walked over to organize it himself. Honestly, they even forgot their own bag—

Logan paused.

Their bright yellow bag. Yellow as corn.

He fidgeted with the strap of their satchel for a moment and considered his options as he surreptitiously approached the desk. If anything matched Fairy Godmothers’ description, it was that bag. And the owner didn’t seem to be coming back any time soon. Patton surely wouldn’t approve, but their current circumstance was out of the ordinary.

Logan chewed the inside of his lip. No time to dawdle, they needed to find Roman.

He snatched the bag and tucked it under his cloak.

— . —

As it turned out, being stuck in a tower was a total bore.

It had been a few hours and somehow Roman had already run out of things to do. After breakfast, a flock of birds flew by the window and he took the opportunity to sing with them until his voice was hoarse. The vines brought him lunch and then drew him a bath. And now he stood in the middle of the room in a bathrobe, his arms crossed as he thought through his options.

“Ugh, what do princesses even do in towers all day?!” Roman whined. He had a new sympathy for Rapunzel — years of this had to be maddening.

With a sigh, Roman lay onto the fainting couch by the second window. Extraordinarily placed for his dramatics, which he could appreciate. He checked his nails, and then frowned.

He didn’t even notice he’d chipped one of them. Groaning, Roman got back on his feet. There should be a file around somewhere.

He headed to the vanity, and paused when he noticed that it was no longer there. In its place, a huge oval mirror hung on the wall, surrounded by red curtains. He winced when saw his reflection; dark circles shadowed his eyes now that he’d washed the make-up off. He reached out to touch the mirror. Maybe it was just the contrast, he could’ve sworn they weren’t that dark before.

Just as he rested his palm against the glass, a burst of dark green and blue shimmered across its surface. Roman stumbled in shock. If he looked closely, he could make out the faint silhouette of a mask.

“No magic mirror?” He remembered Virgil chuckling the first time he’d gone into Roman’s room for a Disney marathon.

“I don’t need one,” Roman had said, with laughter on his lips and a smile that was a bit too tight. “Any mirror is magic if it can capture my beauty.”

It wasn’t something odd for Virgil to ask. It was classic Roman behavior, after all. A massive mirror enchanted to answer whatever he wanted.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?

Roman knew the answer. Perhaps that’s why he’d never ask.

He pulled the curtains before he could even think of it. Stepping away from the covered mirror and allowing the vines to pull him into a new outfit

— . —

Getting dressed hadn’t really helped with the boredom. Nor had filing his nails.

He had lay down after getting ready — although that just meant he tossed and turned in his bed for half an hour. Or 15 minutes, he wasn’t counting. Even miraculously soft as the mattress was, sleep hadn’t come any easier. Perhaps it was the light. Roman wasn’t one for mid-day naps, anyway. He sat up with a groan, bringing his knees to his chest.

The vines bothered him less now that he’d settled, acting more like overexcited puppies if anything, but Roman was still acutely aware they could rise up at any moment. That put a damper on most escape plans by default. He couldn’t summon anything, and items could pop in and out of the tower on a whim.

A cup of tea when he barely registered he was craving it. A brush just as he reached for one. All things that he didn’t even know he needed. He supposed he could trick the tower about his intentions to collect some things… but then again, who’s to say that’d go anywhere when the vines could so easily stop him.

Roman pressed his cheek to his knees, stealing a glance at the window. The soft afternoon sunlight streamed through the glass. Time passed differently in the imagination, of course, but if he was gone for too long who knows what could happen to Thomas.

The reality of his situation settled as a hollow pit on his stomach. He curled up on himself. If he spent a moment long thinking about it he’d go mad with worry. He eyed the vines out of the corner of his vision.

“Can’t you give me a distraction?” he sniped. “Something to do, at least?”

Ask and you shall receive. The vines pulled him up to his feet in a second, and before he could even blink, Roman found himself sitting on a little bench in the middle of he room.

In front of him, an easel — right along with a set of brushes and paints. He bristled on instinct. The canvas, blank and taunting, rang as an accusation.

Roman hovered his hand above a wide brush, before finally picking it up. It would be a lie to say he hadn’t been avoiding his artistic hobbies. Even the ones he did recreationally, like painting. Despite the lack of a looming deadline or expectations, it felt too… daunting.

He layered a light blue onto the canvas, and that was easy enough. With a deep breath, Roman went about sketching out a scenery — trees in the background, billowing clouds.

That was supposed to be the part where he shed his inhibitions, and made a masterpiece he’d be proud of. But Roman knew the story rarely went that way for him. Oh, he could start. He could feel the edge of an idea crop up. But each brushstroke dragged across the painting, as if lead weight were tied to his wrists. Maybe it was the fear of being too honest, or the knowledge that every piece of his work would be torn down and scrutinized down to the last detail.

Or maybe it was just being aware that this was his role — and if he failed at this too, well, there wasn’t much left.

Little by little, the palette became a muddy mess of mixed colors. He blinked. The painting took shape and he barely even noticed. Roman cocked his head to the side, squinting. It looked… good. So far. And despite the aching in his chest, maybe… pushing through worked.

“Huh,” he said, “Logan might’ve been right, after all.”

Switching between brushes, he began to detail the foundation he'd layed out, working on the values to make sure the picture was clear. Logan always ragged on him for his perfectionism. Which, in Roman’s opinion, was rich coming from him, but he did have a point — as per usual.

He could get caught up in small things. He did it often enough. Roman was a lot of things — romance, passion, creativity, the ego, hopes and dreams — and therein laid the problem, right? Wanting and hoping and dreaming higher than they could reach.

His work, it couldn’t just be good. It had to be the best.

Roman sketched a figure in the middle of the painting before he could even register it.

How selfish of him, to raise expectations they’d never meet, to want things they can’t have.

Clenching his teeth, he painted the clothes — white and gold and a deep scarlet sash.

Because he knew. Deep down, he knew he could put his soul into his work and it still wouldn’t be enough. He could tear his heart open and splay the vulnerable parts of himself into a bloody mess on the canvas and it would still be too bland, cliché, uninspired.

Reaching for the palette, he shoved his brush into red paint.

He thought he only had to dig deeper, try harder.

His breath picked up as he slashed the color around the center of the painting, and so did his heartbeat. Red splattered against the canvas until droplets fell onto his hand. Roman felt it — on his skin and as it stained his drawn counterpart; tainting any white that was there before. He mixed colors without the care to clean up in between.

Maybe the problem was just him.

Silver paint. A dagger craved right onto his chest.

The bristles never reached the fabric. A vine wove around his wrist tight enough to bruise.

The piercing feeling on his chest didn’t fade, even as his hands moved without his say. He kept on painting. His thoughts stuck between the blade that never was and the feeling of thorns that scratched just near his skin.

When they finally released his wrist, his brush clattered to the ground. Roman stayed stock still as he stared at the finished painting.

One of his best works, technically. Idyllic lighting that immersed you into the scenery, good composition, focused values that led your eyes right toward the focal point.

Roman himself, right in the center of the painting. A wide smile across his lips, and a bouquet of roses against his chest.

It looked right out of a Kinkade collection. The sort of thing people loved to see in the back of a puzzle box.

The pit in Roman’s stomach turned hollow, and when the vines ushered him out of the chair he went without protest.

One of them brushed against his waist. He flinched and straightened his posture. When they gave him the painting, he couldn’t stand to look at it too close.

He got the inspiration he looked for, didn’t he? He should be happy.

“Wow!” Roman said, to no one at all but the vines that kept him there. He gripped the frame so hard he could’ve chipped it. “Maybe I have an understated talent for landscapes, shall we put it up on the wall?”

He smiled as he handed it to them.

The vines slithered to do just so, and as he trailed behind them, Roman sneaked a glance to his wrist.

The lack of marks taunted him. Maybe they hadn’t really squeezed as hard as he’d imagined.

— . —

“This market is so boring. Where’s the blood?” whined Remus.

Patton smiled, scratching the top of Remus’ head from where he peeked out of the scarf. Remus hadn’t lost a touch of his usual humor, but it was pretty hard to be scared when he was in such a cute little mouse form! Showing just that, he chirped and shimmied, and Patton had to resist the urge to squeal.

Mouse or not, Remus could and probably would still bite his finger off for it.

“We’ll get blood on the way back,” Janus said, with the exact tone of a parent who had no plans to do that. Patton laughed.

Their split-up plan had ended up being a bit of a bust. Since Logan had gone off on his own, they didn’t form pairs after all, deciding to search as a group instead. Patton had to admit he was a little…relieved. Not about Logan disappearing, of course not, and it wasn’t that pairing with Virgil would’ve been bad! It was just… Virgil hadn’t been keen to spend any time with him lately, and the tension only grew when they were alone. Even though Patton wished to reach out, the fear of being pushed away for good was overwhelming.

Virgil wasn’t happy with him, he hadn’t been for some time, but it had been manageable. They were friends after all, best friends. But now that Janus and their past was added to the mix? The cracks spread far too quickly for Patton to mend them.

He let his eyes trail Janus’ way. The other walked only a few steps ahead of him, batting away the oversized feather in his cap that kept falling over his eyes. Much like a kitten. Patton stifled a smile. 

Janus would talk his ear off for that comparison.

And still, no matter the warning, Patton just wouldn’t be able to shut him out, would he?

He wasn’t naive, despite what it might seem. Patton knew Janus liked to string up every word in tangled threads of meaning, that his intentions were often muddy. But he couldn't help but think, if he’d listened to Janus before, maybe he wouldn’t have gotten everything so… wrong.

He shook that thought away. Now, that wasn’t the point at all. The important thing was, they were back at the market — this time to search through the many rows of booths and sellers. He had a feeling they’d have a good shot there, after all, with so many goods for sale, one of them had to be what they were looking for!

…Okay, maybe that was a touch too optimistic, but even still, he kept an eye on each and every booth.

The bell as white as milk, the gem as red as blood, the bag as yellow as corn, the mirror as pure as gold, he sang in his head.

Vendors showed off their products with proud smiles and promises even Patton thought were too good to be true. He had to fight getting roped into small talk. He shouldn’t lose focus, but that became a bit difficult not to when all the items were just so magical.

After the regular farmer's market produce, more unique shops popped up. Colorful potions, shiny crowns and wands, one stall even had items from classic fairy tales! Spun gold, mirrors and apples, a spinning wheel… though the most eye-catching one was right in front of him. Beautiful, delicate little glass slippers! Patton couldn’t help but stare at awe. Roman really did go all out!

“D’ya think they cleaned the blood off of that?” Remus sneered, startling Patton. He’d almost forgotten he was still burrowed in his scarf.

“Huh?”

Remus squeaked in laughter, looking up at Patton with a mischievous twinkle in his little beady eyes.

“In the Brothers’ Grimm version the step-sisters cut off their toes to fit into the slippers! That happens in Into The Woods too, there’s even a song about it, remember?”

Patton grimaced, which seemed to be exactly the reaction Remus wanted. He knew that, but he didn’t need the mental image!

“It’s gold slippers in those,” Janus cut in, “Not glass.”

“Ugh, you’re such a party pooper.”

Janus rolled his eyes, sharing a look of amusement with Patton before they went right back to searching.

If he were to be honest, his hope began to run a little thin after some time. They passed through row after row of the market without finding even a minor clue! At that rate, how would they find Roman? Patton bit his lip. 

He’d tried to give him some space after the wedding disaster, so they hadn’t talked much then, and the last time they did, it had been an argument — now Roman was just up and gone.

Patton stood in the middle of broken glass, with no idea how to put the shards back together. He hurt Roman, hurt everyone, but now no matter how he tried to fix things it would just get worse. He was stuck.

And Roman had every right to be angry, he should be, but goodness gracious, Patton missed him.

And now no one had a clue where he was.

He tried to not let the worry distract him too much as he stopped by yet another booth. But before he could get a good look, someone shouted at him from a bit away.

“Hey, you there with the scarf, dearie!”

Patton blinked, confused, and scanned through the crowd to find them. Remus burrowed deeper under the scarf to hide.

“Yes, you,” An old woman waved him over. She wore an apron, like him, but it was stashed with way more pockets than someone could ever need. In front of her, stood a single grain basket and a few bags.

“Um. Hello, ma’am.”

“You look awfully wistful, dearie,” she said with a smile, reaching for the lid. She stared at Patton with a look that was eerily blank. It set him on edge. “No matter, I’ve got something here you won’t believe until you see.”

“Uh, I’m sorry, ma’am but I don’t think I can—” Patton cut himself off as he caught a peek of what was inside the basket. Beans, but not the normal kind of course — they shined like someone had thrown glitter all over them! Patton blinked, leaning over to get a better look. He knew he was just the type to be tricked by something like that, but there was something… different about them. Call it intuition, but in the back of his mind he knew they needed to bring them along.

“Why, if you plant them, you’ll see they grow all the way up to the sky, dearie,” The old woman said, propping a hand up on her hip. “And I’ll sell them for only 5 gol—”

“Bit of a bad time for window-shopping, isn’t it?” Virgil snarked over his shoulder. Patton jolted, spinning around to face him.

Rolling his eyes, Virgil propped a hand on his hip and continued, “Roman’s missing. We don’t have time for this.”

Patton scrambled for a way to respond, shame burning on his face, but before he could, Virgil gruffed in annoyance — tugging him away from the booth and walking ahead without a word.

Patton’s heart shattered all over again as he followed him from a few steps behind.

“Wow, what’s with him?” Remus whistled and finally peeked out of his scarf. Janus, who had sidled up to his side, raised a single eyebrow at Patton — as if to say ‘You’ll just take that?’

“The beans feel important,” Patton simply muttered, because he very much would. He couldn’t pick a fight with Virgil. He’d done enough already.

Speaking of, Virgil stopped on his tracks all of a sudden. He brought a hand to his eyes like he was trying to see something far in the distance. Patton squinted as they caught up to him, to spot whatever he was looking at.

A figure, it seemed, running their way in somehow perfect form. Behind them, a royal blue cloak— oh.

A wave of relief washed over Patton as Logan got closer and closer. He did expect him to come back…eventually, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t worried! He didn’t need one more kiddo missing today!

“He’s got… the bag,” Virgil said. And yup, that bright yellow spot grew as he approached, propped on his hip, and it definitely couldn’t be anything else. Talk about ‘as yellow as corn’.

When he reached them, Logan simply adjusted his glasses and brushed his hair from his face. Patton wondered how he could run like that and not be out of breath. He cut right to the chase, “I know where we need to go.”

Virgil’s armor clinked as he crossed his arms.

 “Hold on, where the hell were you?”

“And where did you get that?”  Janus added.

Rolling his eyes, Logan reached into his satchel, letting the yellow bag fall against his hip. “The library,” he said, matter-of-fact, as he pulled out a book and flicked it open. “Which proved to be quite efficient, mind you, so save the lecture.”

The news sparked back the itty-bitty flame of hope he still had, and Patton couldn’t help but smile wide. 

“That’s amazing, Logan! How did you find it?”

“Oh,” he answered, glancing down at the page. “Someone left it unattended at their table. I took it.”

Patton gaped at him. 

“Logan! You can’t just— that’s stealing!”

Logan simply ignored him, turning around like he’d said nothing at all, book tucked under his arm.

“We should prepare and gather supplies. It’ll be a long trek to the lake.”

“Goshdarnit,” Patton muttered under his breath, watching as Logan headed off and prompted them to follow.

Janus chuckled beside him, tapping him on his shoulder. Patton turned to face him, tilting his head when he saw that Janus held out a tiny bag on the palm of his hand.

Patton took it and untied the string to peek into it. He couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face when he saw what was inside.

Glittering, magic beans.

“You…” Patton started, struggling to keep the giddiness that thought brought him out of his voice. “You bought them for me?”

“No,” Janus said with a coy smirk and a wink, carrying on with walking after Logan. “I stole them.”

“Janus!”

— . —

Taglist: @caruliaa @thegoldenduckie

[allaboutcinderella]

The Adventures of Cinderella’s Daughter (2000)

Starring: Laurie Sheirs as the title role

Yes this is really something that exists!

And it is… something. 😅

This mini series follows, you guessed it, Cinderella’s daughter, on some of her adventures as a teenage princess. 💁🏼‍♀️

✨SPOILERS AHEAD✨

Our main character, CINDY (super clever name…) narrates the entire series which right off the bat makes me cringe a bit. She talks about how she just wants to be “like a normal teen” and constantly points out what a drag it is to be royal and the daughter of the most “perfect storybook romance ever.” 🤦🏼‍♀️

First I have to say that even though this mini series looks like it had a budget of maybe $50, the acting was… not great, IT’S SEVERE LACK OF HOOP SKIRTS and the writing was extremely cheesy… it had a surprising cast!

Including STAN LEE!! What?!

He makes a cameo is the priest. That kinda blew my mind 🤯.

Also Jim Wise as Fred the “Fairy God-Brother.”

Now, I will give credit where credit is due, not all the episodes are bad. They’re not great, but I was enjoying some moments of it. (Then the acting got bad again and my attention would shift…)

• The first episode is pretty much what you’d expect of this kind of sequel. It’s a reverse Cinderella story. Cindy wishes to attend the jamboree being held in the village, but her father forbids her to mingle with commoners. She argues that he’s a hypocrite seeing as her mother used to be one and he still loved her. His mind isn’t changed, so cue in Fred, the Fairy Godmother’s… son? (Ok) His magic powers aren’t amazing but he somehow manages to supply Cindy with some ✨magic peasant clothes✨ to wear to the jamboree. She is excited mainly because there’s a peasant boy she thinks is cute, Gaven 👦🏻🤎 and hopes to dance with him. And wouldn’t you know it, she gets her wish… after beating him at… arm wrestling. 👀 However, unlike her mom, she stays past curfew therefore breaking the magic spell, revealing a ballgown and crown to show AHHH SHE’S A PRINCESS! The embarrassment! 🤦🏼‍♀️

Gaven accuses her of “playing a peasant” to make fun of them, causing Cindy run off. He realizes then that she is a teenage like him who wants friends and to have fun, so he finds her and makes up. 💁🏻‍♂️

• The second episode is about how Cindy wants to compete to be on her ye old high school’s jousting team. The this episode was so bad I had to skip forward, but it’s all to show Gaven “she’s tough even if she’s a princess.” Done. 🤺

• The third, possibly the better of the episodes, is one where we see that Cinderella almost didn’t marry the Prince due to her stepsister finding a wicked fairy godfather to trick her into not marrying the Prince. (Sound familiar…?) This kind of blew my mind because this came before Cinderella 3 and Twice Charmed, which have similar plots. The Prince even JUMPS OFF A BALCONY down to Cinderella… reminded me of the Prince jumping out the window.

• The final episode is more of a Cinderella story… for Gaven! 🤴🏻

Cindy finds herself trapped in an almost arranged engagement to a stuck up Prince who is basically just an ass. He makes fun of Gaven for being poor and does other weird things like tell Cindy to be more ladylike if she’s going to marry him. He even gives her a dress he wants her to wear to the ball because it’s what his queen would wear. ✨Yikes✨

Gaven manages to get the help of Fred for himself and disguise himself as the asshole Prince to dance with Cindy. But seeing as Cindy thinks he’s the other guy, she doesn’t enjoy their time. Of course she finds out it’s been him all along and boom! Happy ending!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

It’s a silly series and it’s painfully 2000’s - cheap 2000’s. But did I still sit and watch it? Yep.

I think the acting of Jim Wise (Fred) and Liz Lavoie (Cinderella) saved this series for me. Their acting was good. And of course Shirley Jones (the fairy godmother) was good as well.

•• Do I recommend watching it? ••

Well… I think it’s so crazy someone had the idea to make this. It’s honestly so wacky I think people should watch it just to see it with their own eyes. I know my curiosity got the better of me and now that I’ve watched it once I can say confidently that I never have to again 😆

I did also find it insane that Cinderella 3 and the stage show Twice Charmed must have gotten inspiration from this series. Some things were just way too similar…

But if you still don’t watch it… your life will go on just fine. 👍🏻

Thanks for reading! Let me know if you guys watch this series and what you think!

[cherry-flavored-sigh]

i got to see cinderella's castle on friday night! so i looked back at this post by @cindytoast404 and decided to fill out the bingo card! let's see if we get a bingo, shall we?

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!!!!!!! DO NOT LOOK IF YOU DO NOT WANT SPOILERS FOR CINDERELLA'S CASTLE!

we DO have a bingo! hooray! (assuming the middle is the usual Free Space)

let's go through it square by square:

`1. the prince is absolutely the horniest person in the show. putrice gets sort of close, but she's really the only one in my opinion who does.

2. sir hop a lot does NOT die, but there is a point where he transforms back into a regular frog and putrice eats him. he later becomes a knight again once the magic is restored and escapes her stomach.

3. the prince is hot but he is just too stupid for ella to actually be attracted to. sorry! she needs a man who thinks about more than cunny all day!

4. no arson... unless you count the metaphorical "burning" of the ashmore family's legacy

5. the Narrator chided us a bit because when ella came on stage, we cheered for her, and he snapped and said "you don't even know anything about her yet!" so kind of? he also has help from ragweed (i believe that was the old man puppet's name), who comments on how the story progresses and argues that he doesn't like the results at one point. so there's a decent amount of acknowledging that a fairy tale is being told to an audience.

6. i would say rancilda is semi-redeemed because she defies her mother's wishes and wants to follow her own dreams that don't necessarily involving killing and eating people

7. ella does not kill a man, sadly :( but her loyal knight whoops some corrupt guards' asses!

8. as one would expect from a fairy tale, there is a lot of emphasis on wishes, desires, and happy endings. ella reflects on what she truly wants beyond revenge

9. sort of? the ball is the prince's way of choosing a bride. he clicks with rancilda at first (shared love of perverted jokes), then ella appears and steals his heart... then ella almost gets murdered by guards that the stepmother coerced into assassinating her and runs away, accidentally losing her magic in the process. so the prince does not end up with a bride that night and instead starts the search for the girl whose foot fits the glass slipper left behind.

10. if we assume sir hop-a-lot did not go off and chase her and kill her, then yes, rancilda does get to go live under a bridge and tell riddles for a living, just like she always dreamed. good for her!

11. the songs for the troll stepmother and sisters are BANGERS. they are evil, disgusting, and absolutely LOVING IT. hot troll girl summer is here, folks

12. the queen is pretty spooky and ethereal. her presence is far from "comforting fairy godmother" and more like "LET ME GIVE YOU THE POWER TO SMITE YOUR ENEMIES"

13. there is a skinning! two, actually! we meet two lovely girls that come to stay at the house and are set up to be ella's saviors... who are then promptly murdered by crossbow and then skinned to provide "outfits" for the troll stepsisters for the prince's ball (their whole picnic scene with ella gave huge "I love being alive!" vibes)

14. honestly, i can't recall any gay people. unless you count the Narrator, cuz he's a bit fruity, but he gives off big flamboyant fae vibes, which one could argue is just how fae are. you could sort of argue about the prince being a little gay with tadius (see the later square about homoeroticism), but no one seems to be explicitly referred to as homosexual. :(

15. everything is magic! ella's mother was burned for being a witch! the trolls use magic to stitch together their skin suits! the fairy queen of sweet dreams grants ella "starlight" to help her seek revenge. magic is what brings sir hop-a-lot and crumb to life as speaking creatures.

16. this one is debatable. the prince does not turn into a human (though if you want a humanized version of him, you can just look at jon's silly outfit while using the puppet lol). but he DOES sort of become a prince, because after the kingdom is saved, ella grants him a huge amount of land and tells him to sire many generations of tadpoles. so... close enough? he is not ella's prince, but he could be considered a prince now that he owns land, i guess?

17. again, the Narrator gets snippy when we cheer for ella without knowing who she is yet

18. almost! the evil stepmother threatens to begin a war with the trolls coming back to take over the kingdom once she steals the throne. thankfully, that doesn't come to pass

19. there sure is a castle. on a hill. as the story goes.

20. tadius quite literally has to wipe the prince's ass for him. and he also prepares "the wank couch" after the prince obtains ella's abandoned slipper.

21. ella ends up with tadius. he's the only man who can match her wits (and is human). though it would have been cute for sir hop-a-lot to become her human prince, i think that ella and tadius make a good couple. together, they have the smarts to properly rule the kingdom.

22. the prince does get murdered. tadius doesn't do it (though he really REALLY wants to), but instead, putrice gets a bit too rowdy after her wedding vows and rips the prince's head off. tadius runs away screaming in horror.

23. because putrice married the prince before she died (exploded by sir hop-a-lot when he became a knight again and busted out of her body) and the prince and king die/get killed (maybe the king smothered himself, who knows? tadius wasn't there), the crown goes to the next living ashmore... which is ella! yay!

24. ella does not get her own sword. sir hop-a-lot considered himself her sword since he is her protector and knight. but ella DOES get magical trappings made of pure starlight, so i honestly think that's a lot cooler.

aaaaaaaand that's that! feel free to argue with me if you've seen the show, too (or once you see the digital ticket version), cuz some of these are based more on opinion. i'd love to hear everyone's thoughts! just be kind and tag your spoilers! <3

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

Vesuviella: Part 2

It’s afternoon now, and in the business of running a shop Julian’s late night visit has slipped your mind entirely. Until you see him strolling through your front door, looking slightly better rested and no less fired up.

“You ready to go, MC?”

“That depends on where you think we’re going.”

“Just up to the palace. I’m sure the shop won’t suffer too much if it’s closed a little early.”

You sigh and check the sun dial. You’ve had plenty of customers today, and it’s not too long from when you normally close. Besides, you need more details on what you’ve supposedly agreed to before it gets too far. “Give me ten minutes.”

When you make it out the door he’s already hailed a carriage for the two of you, holding out a gloved hand to help you in. You’re getting ready to ask your questions as soon as the coach lurches forward, but he’s beating you to it before you can open your mouth. “Now, if we can get Pasha to agree to this, it’ll make talking Nadia into it that much easier. They won’t mind the roles I’ve written for them once they get over the idea of acting for me.”

“And what story are we acting out?”

He startles and turns to you, one eye wide. “Did I forget to tell you? Ah – I must have been too caught up in the moment. We’re doing Cinderella. You’ll be Prince Charming, of course, Nadia will make an excellent King, and Pasha will be the evil stepmother. I thought of making her one of the mice, but you know how she loves to act out.”

“And the other roles?”

“You’ll ask Asra to be Cinderella. Then the two of you can convince that Muriel fellow to be the Queen. Don’t worry, I didn’t give him too many lines. And Lucio will be the Ugly Stepsister.”

“And you?”

“Well, I’m the director, the writer, the stage manager, and your Fairy Godmother, of course.” He leans across to you with a twinkle in his tired eye. “Any wishes you’d like me to grant, MC? The story doesn’t always have to end the same way.”

That last line catches your attention. “If you had to write it from scratch, how much of it did you change?”

He leans back with a shrug and a grimace. “Not much. I’ll work with you all to get a feel for the characters, but shows are always better with a few surprises. We’ll probably be improvising a good portion of it.”

The whole endeavor seems dubious at best, but you’ve just pictured Portia basing her Evil Stepmother off of one of Vesuvia’s more self-important courtiers, and now you’re mildly invested. “I’ll talk to whoever you want me to talk to, but the magic I practice is elemental. I can’t make any promises.”

“Of course not, you know I’d never expect anything ridiculous of you. Ah – here we are. Allow me, your majesty.” He trips out of the carriage and turns with a deep bow, offering you his arm once again to dismount. “Shall we?”

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

hello fellow,, I just wanted to say I think you're very pretty— And I'd love to watch one of your shows !!

What's your favorite part about your job?

So tell me, do you wanna go?

“Thank you, thank you for the compliment! Aren’t you a flatterer,” Fellow chuckled as he adjusted his lapels. “You, my good spectator, have an excellent eye. And if you’re looking to see far more beautiful things in your life, then have I got the item for you!!”

With the flick of his wrist, he produced a pink shard from his coat pocket. Its clarity was broken by a few scratches, resulting in a color closer to rose fog. The sea glass appeared to be ordinary in every sense of the word.

“This,” Fellow declared, presenting the shard with a flourish, “is rose-tinted glass. Have you heard of it? It’s a special material that was blessed by a fairy godmother! It may look like an ordinary lump now, but refine it, polish it--" He pantomimed cleaning it off with his sleeve. "--and you'll have yourself some fine material for a mirror, glasses, whatever you wish! Anything you see through its face will have its beauty enhanced a hundred-fold!"

"Oooooh." You politely clapped for him. "So that's how your scams--er, I mean shows--work. You butter people up and sell them impossible dreams."

"... That wasn't a demonstration just now, I really was trying to scam you, kid!!" Fellow groaned, letting his smile drop. He dropped the sea glass back into his pocket, then folded his arms. "Don't let it spread, or I could be losin' out on some potential marks."

"Alright, but only if you answer my question too."

"What my favorite part of the job is?" Fellow barked a laugh, but there was no joy to be found in it. "It pays the bills. It lets us survive. It puts snobs in their place. I can be my own boss, go where I like, make my own hours."

"That's it?"

"What, did you expect something flashier?" Fellow angled his hat, allowing the brim to shadow his eyes. "Get your head out of the clouds, kid."

Then he lifted his head and looked out. Past the main building of the school, to the front gates and beyond it. The town below, the sky above, the sea surrounding.

"... Stayin' put in one place never suited me," he said quietly. "There's a whole wide world out there, waiting for my grand ol' shows to come along and wow'm. They'll look at me with stars in their eyes, the crowd alive with sound."

A smile had taken shape on his lips. Not a sneer, not a smirk. A real smile, soft as a baby bird's down feathers.

It dawned on you.

I get it. What he likes the most is... seeing the joy he can bring to others, even if that joy is just a lie.

"Ah, but enough of that!" Fellow swept his top hat off and, inverting it, held it out to you. He beamed expectantly. "In exchange for my time and well-thought-out responses...!"

"Huh? But the deal was I wouldn't let your plot slip if you answered, not money on top of that. I'm barely managing to get by myself on the headmaster's monthly allowance..."

"I have to support myself and Gidel, don't I?" Fellow rattled the hat. "Payment, if you please!!"

You sighed but began digging for loose change.

[youhavenoideahowbadiwantthis]

I watched a movie last night that I had a difficult time with. I didn't want to see it, but then I ended up enjoying it for the most part, but then I'm just a little annoyed with how much better it still could have been.

I'm talking about Wish. Spoilers ahead.

First, the things I liked:

Ariana DeBose was a very good lead with a great voice.

Chris Pine was wonderful, if not a little campy (which made him more wonderful). I would put, "This is the Thanks I Get," up against Bruno any day. Fight me.

The songs were mostly good with some stumbling here and there.

That fuckin' star sidekick is adorable.

The lore-building, especially with it being an, albeit heavily foreshadowed, twist, was surprisingly decent.

The runtime is an hour and a half. Perfect.

The things I did not like or was fairly indifferent to:

The performance of, frankly, any of the characters other than Ariana DeBose and Chris Pine.

Alan Tudyk as the obnoxious unfunny goat. My 4-year-old is more naturally funny than they wrote this character, who is played by an incredibly gifted, comedic actor.

The plot just wasn't interesting. Antagonist want more power; protagonist want stop bad guy. Obviously, I'm being reductive, and the concept of restoring people's lost dreams so they may pursue them for themselves rather than leave it up to an omnipotent being, is something I agree with wholeheartedly. I just feel it missed the mark in so many other ways that the plot suffered under the weight of terrible performances and animation.

The animation was bad.

Obviously, it's a technically marvel that they can create something like this just 30 years after Beauty and the Beast (which has objectively better animation). But parents might notice something uncanny about this movie. It's almost like a slightly more advanced cel-shading that they use in Disney Junior Shows like Myra the Royal Detective.

It feels lazy. Again, OBVIOUSLY work went into this, and I applaud the animators for doing something I couldn't dream of, but it just looks meh.

The performances of her seven-dwarf-analog, friends was fucking abysmal. The voices barely match the characters and were just obnoxious the whole movie. I appreciated what they did with Jennifer Kumiyama's character as far as representation, but it also felt like her voice was mixed really high in the audio and it was exhausting to listen to.

Also, having the seven dwarf friends that aren't dwarves is just weird when you consider everything else. Taken literally, this movie essentially acts as a lore-igin film for the enchanted mirror and Cinderella's Fairy Godmother. But the mirror is in Snow White. So...are these supposed to be the dwarves or just identical two-dimensional characters defined by literally the same traits as the dwarves or a multiverse thing or does it not matter at all?

Anyway, this was just a quick rant about a movie that I feel was unfairly, harshly judged. It's better than I expected, but worse than it should've been. 6.5/10.

[fizzingwizard]

Time for some semi-ritual bitching about one of my favorite bitch-worthy topics, Yugioh

Why couldn't they have just done Memory World properly

Why make us suffer through Doma... and especially KC Grand Prix, a single episode of which is more boring than filler in any other fandom... and they made an entire filler arc out of it! Like Doma has lots of faults but at least it tried to do something interesting. It tried to develop characters, which proooobably shouldn't have been undertaken by a filler arc with no canon script to follow, but gold star for trying! Had a shitty finale not remotely worthy of its awesome beginning, but did we really expect any better? lol. KC Grand Prix tho, no. That's just there to Idk be mean to men with pink hair and dumb names?? In the ridiculous hair dumb names anime???

cut because Fizz has the curse of long-windedness thanks my evil fairy godmother

anyway back to Memory World, maybe the issue was the story in the manga still lagged behind where the anime was. I don't remember. If so I guess there was no choice but filler. Still, did they have to blow the budget on it? They lost most of their good animators during Doma, where they also introduced a couple new crap ones who stuck around till the end of course -___- And no doubt the animators were getting paid peanuts for long hours of work, and if they'd run out of budget to even pay that... well clearly the show should have been shorter. Like two whole filler arcs shorter. Just take a break, take a pause, come back when you're ready to do Memory World the way it should be done. Back then no one took breaks, "The fans will forget us," nowadays TV shows just up and away for multiple years at a time x'D before returning suddenly with a new season.

The reason I'm still salty and plan to be salty to my grave is just this. Memory World is the one and only YGO arc since season zero that was not explicitly about card games. They'd been dropping hints since the first that we could expect ancient Egypytian shenanigans in the finale. We were supposed to find out about Atem's lost memories and recover his name. That was the driving force behind everything that wasn't filler. I specifically became a fan as a kid because I enjoyed reading about Ancient Egypt and thought the idea of a millennia-old feud between a pharaoh and whoever Bakura really was sounded neat. So I watched hours and hours and hours of card games all for the sake of making it to Ancient Egypt.

(don't get me wrong I enjoyed the card games lol. Never ask a YGO fan to explain how watching characters stand around and yell "Pot of Greed allows me to draw two cards from my deck!" for hundreds of episodes somehow stayed fresh and interesting)

So we reach Memory World at loooooooong last and. And the animation is the worst. Atem falls off a cliff it's just like "ow." Bakura isn't have as intriguing anymore now that he's a poorly drawn anime guy with scars. He arrives toting Atem's father's mummy it should be scary. It should be shocking. But instead, for some reason we watched dancing girls of questionable historical accuracy repeat the same frame several times, while Atem makes a face like a baby trying his hardest to go number two in his diaper. In the manga this scene is really funny, with Siamun being Sugoroku in every way, and Atem in his awkwardness being more Yugi-like than we've ever seen him. In the anime they are just going through the motions. There's no life in anything.

The one thing the anime version got right was understanding that this was the one and only opportunity we'd have to learn about Atem. You know, half of the main character for the whole show. Even the manga is really so busy doing plot stuff it kind of forgets to make us care about the ancient Egyptian cast. The anime took advantage of the need for pacing to give us a couple low key moments about Atem & Friends, but for some reason it decided we should 1) know what Atem looked like falling flat on his nose as a toddler, and 2) show us that from a young age he was making grand progressive speeches about equality. Seeing Atem portrayed as a nice guy who cared about people gave me mixed emotions after watching him struggle for seasons with the possibility that he might have been a bad king and not remember it. Because we got a whole season of him making mistakes and disappointing fans in Doma, and now in Memory World the final answer to what kind of person Atem was is just "well he's a good guy in the modern sense of the word lol" and then we move on. Also, neither that speech, nor Doma, are manga canon, but fans on the whole remember Doma much better than they remember nice guy baby Atem. Which is so very nice -.-;

So Memory World could have been so much fun, exciting, adventurous in a way you can't always be when you have to stay put on a holo-duel stage (card games on motorcycles hasn't been invented yet!), and insightful about a character who has been the central point of everything yet whom we knew next to nothing about. Instead it was a poorly animated clusterfuck of battle scenes that were difficult to make sense of. The Bakura stuff was the best. The Kaiba-insert filler was the worst. I was disappointed with Set's arc in the manga as well, another thing that had been built up for years and years and ended up more about the mysterious waif-like dragon girl than Set vs Atem. If the anime changed something to add in Kaiba, I wish they'd have rewritten the Set vs Atem duel so it was mildly interesting, and Idk maybe Kaiba could have teamed up with Atem against his past self, which would have aggravated him to no end? Instead of just wandering around insisting none of this could really be happening. Or he should just not have been there at all. Personally I go the DSOD route and pretend Kaiba was never in Memory World, same as the manga. It's not like erasing him from the anime version has any impact on events bahahaha. He was included for MONEY MONEY MONEY popular character NEEDS to stick around even if he has abso-fucking-lutely nothing to do because MONEY MONEY MONEY

I love DSOD to pieces. But my own dream for the anniversary project was a remake of Memory World. Even if it had been a 90 min movie version instead of several episodes, as long as it was better quality, and invested in Atem as a character instead of simply as a pawn in a game, I would have enjoyed those 90 mins better than the entire Memory World season. Doma and KC Grand Prix were a mistake if they played a role in how awful Memory World was.

But they did the Millennium Duel well. Not astonishing, but really, except for useless Kaiba being there, it was more than adequate. (And although Kaiba himsefl was useless, it was cool seeing him rejected as an opponent for Atem in favor of Yugi. Actually I kinda wish they'd made a bigger deal out of that...) Kid me cried buckets (actually I must have been well into my teens by then bahahaha. I def cried though). Thanks to those final two episodes, the series send-off didn't leave me with a bad taste in my mouth. If it had ended with Memory World it would have been an even bigger disappointment to me than the finale of Bleach. And I despise the finale of Bleach x'D

[mermaidsirennikita]

what were your top 10 LEAST FAVORITE movies of 2023 (so far....)

Oh, OLIVIA. Off to your letterboxd I go!!!

But some immediate ... recent... additions:

Maestro--This is the most obnoxiously Oscar bait-y, vanity project-y movie I've seen in a long time. Like, I'm not inherently opposed to Oscar bait, I think a movie can be Oscar bait and also good. But this... I'm not super impressed by Carey or Bradley in general (I did love him with ASIB but I think he benefited from several external factors) and here??? Dry as a bone. She was better than him, but WHO WOULDN'T BE because he was giving the most try hard, bullshit performance. And cutting down Bernstein's sexuality to an OFFENSIVE and confusing degree. What even was Bernstein's relationship with Felicia? Where did that shit where she was all YOU'RE SO HATEFUL from??? I though she hated him because he was fucking around their entire marriage (even though the script implied she was... down? At one point?) and suddenly she's all YOU'RE HATEFUL AND YOU'RE GONNA DIE A LONELY OLD QUEEN. What??? And as someone who didn't know much about Bernstein going in beyond his sexuality, I feel like I still don't know much.

Priscilla--Similarly bad biopic anchored by a completely flat performance by a woman who's getting acclaim because she is the white girl of the week who everyone claims is so amazing and transformative because she has no distinguishing features and a flat affect everyone can project onto. Especially bad because Jacob Elordi can't maintain an accent to save his life and the movie was incapable of translating the incredible crush Priscilla would've felt underneath both his persona and his fame. I never got the sense of this guy's fame, and Elvis was INSANELY famous at his peak. I thought it was just bad, dude. And I frankly don't know why we felt the need for this liberation narrative when the sad truth is that Priscilla's entire career has been based on this idea that she's Elvis's widow (when they'd been divorced for years when he died and he was actually in a serious relationship with another woman when he died). And you know what? She has a right to that. I don't have an issue with that. I don't think she would've ever made as much money doing anything else, and he stole her childhood so go off. BUT. That does undermine a liberation narrative for me, and I can't get over it, especially because Priscilla has been so (willingly) in the press for the past couple of years.

Saltburn--Emerald Fennell cannot write a script and Emerald Fennell doesn't direct a super interesting movie, aside from some interesting (if not super original) visuals. I've already gone off about this movie. Barry gave a fun performance. Jacob gave him jack shit.

Anyone But You--I don't know if I'd even be as outraged about this if people didn't hype it up, but lol. It's dumb. It feels like a mid to bad romcom from 2005, which makes it worse in 2023. Finding out that the director/writer directed Easy A back in the day was suuuuch a reveal. He redid the retelling conceit, the Natasha Bedingfield deal, and the obnoxious vibes.

After Everything--Look, I didn't expect to like this, at all lol, but I did expect some laughs because I did in fact cry laughing at a couple of the other movies. BUT. TESSAH wasn't even in this for more than five minutes. Which, bless that actress, VALID. But this was like. Bad and not even bad with unintentionally funny moments??? It was mostly about Hardon??? No.

Your Place Or Mine--Can you believe this came out this year? They created a movie... so dry... and devoid of chemistry. A great example of why chemistry is important and how Hollywood has stopped caring.

Love Again--Sam Heughan. What happened. This is another one where I'm like you could've given me something. It was kind of a Celine Dion tribute piece with Celine as fairy godmother and I love Celine. But so boring. So forgettable.

Ghosted--Hideously bad. Ana de Armas is over for me lmao. I mean, she was already, but I was gonna give her a fun little romcom. Holy shit. Bad. Horrible. I kept waiting for a fun twist. NoPE!

What's Love Got to Do With It?--Bad, racist, I HATE its depiction of arranged marriage and the white bystanders gawking at it, ew ew ew hate.

Magic Mike's Last Dance--DUDE. DUDE WHAT THE FUCK WAS THIS. WHAT THE FUCK. HE DIDN'T EVEN STRIP. WHERE WAS THE STRIPPING. WHAT HAPPENED. This movie, to me, is literally the perfect encapsulation of how bad sexlessness has become in media. Can't even fucking watching a fucking Magic Mike movie without some ass. Jesus Christ. What's happened to the world.