#how did josie harris die

[cancerian-woman]

i think a lot of people say legacies had a lot of potential but tbh it was never going to be good. i dont think hope existing was ever a good idea so her leading a show and having elena and buffy traits is an odd mix and was already a bad sign. the poc supporting characters not having basic development until seasons 3/4? um. landon highkey being the (boring) protagonist because they do admit that Hope shouldn’t be leading a show and want the outsider trope. he’s closer to the elena archetype too. the plot being non-existent and the friendship theme ? is quite honestly perplexing because what friendships

buffy worked because there were actual philosophical concepts behind the conflict and decisions buffy made. they teach it at the university level! buffy also wouldnt have survived without her friends. they embody different aspects that buffy slowly develops on her coming of age journey. how could a writer team who supposedly loved buffy miss all these points and that it doesn’t work for hope and the poc cast they both didn’t care for but wanted so they could be a walmart scooby gang?

And HARRY POTTER where? Why was it pitched as HP omg they could not write as well as a woman writing for 8-12 year olds which is sad

ranting about legacies this morning lmaoooo this is so incoherent

Bestie, idk if you seen this tweet from Julie. The show was never going to be good knowing that this was her inspo in mind. Not only was this insensitive and ignorant to the families and victims. Children shouldn’t have to be the hero in places that supposed to be educating them. Teachers and staff don’t come to work to die? Like lady, this is NOT the situation to blend realism and fiction. Then Josie was still shoot at when someone did break into the school—listen. Anyway!

TO couldn’t even figure out how to mix Hope someone who’s a fluke in the supernatural world but here anyway! so legacies struggling with the concept wasn’t at all surprising especially how Plecverse writers did it.

To me Hope is an LGS version of an Elena/Buffy/Bonnie mix in characterization while never properly servicing her either which is fucked up she’s supposed to be the leading lady. I understand, the amount of trauma she faced at a young age which is why she’s so protective to Landon (and her friends to an extent) but try to expand on her life? So many seasons of Hope and I don’t know what she’d want to do for a career. While Elena’s writing got worst overtime you at least knew her ambitions. Hope’s motives were only for Landon. I think one of those writers created and self-inserted into him (if I’m wrong somebody say it..)

Not to say Barolena has no issues because the residual anti-blackness was loud. I do think, Julie wanted an all white (I know Kaylee is half Japanese) girl trio and legacies was finally the time to debut that. Hence, why Hope was shown to be older than the twins at first. Then changed to be younger to fit in their group. But, with that change suddenly Hope is being bullied by them and never allowed to do something is just…. Lmao LISTEN?

JP never planned on expanding on the POC in her show simply because we were “supposed” to be grateful she included them in the first place. Which was another downfall. How do you have multiple actors of color and no one has a leading storyline? She just wanted to lessen those racist claims but made it worse. Why did it take you 3 shows to get a darkskin woman in the franchise too as a series regular? I remember some fans calling her out on Twitter, for having Matt Davis racist ass in front of all her POC actors on promo posters.

Buffy managed to include her friends and keep Buffy as a central focus to the show and its problems. I think they just slapped DRR’s face on every promo just to get people to watch initially because it never seemed like “her” show until Danielle was older by season 4. I assumed Danielle being younger and the LGCS actors being old enough to been in TVD/TO it was easier to write for them w/out it being too much? If that makes sense.

I know Hope was supposed to have a bigger storyline with Maya and they backed out of that completely to give other characters room to shine. By that they meant the twins 🤣.

This was long as hell but to sum it up idk why people esp white fans who double as Bonnie antis love dragging and arguing her unimportance when so many character even the white women are treated the same way with minor differences. If it’s an issue and makes Bonnie super unlikable than I’m sorry wouldn’t Hope be just that? Wouldn’t freya? Davina be those things too? Even the twins-

Thank you 💜

[alyssacat013]

I have now finished the first season of twin peaks and woah…it was a lot. This show has been a real wild ride with some many plots happening at once that are still somehow connected. I feel like I got some questions answered but still have so many left. The first big one being who shot Cooper at the end, like I’m sure he’s still alive, but like what!? Like is that person Laura’s actual killer.

Like it seems that Leo killed Laura , but I’m not sure like I’m sure he had some part in it, but I feel like there must be someone else or multiple other someone’s. Also, we still don’t know what the whole thing with the one armed man and the man with the long gray hair means. Like they must still be important somehow especially since Agent Cooper and Laura’s mom both had visions of the same guy. Also, we still don’t know what “fire walk with me” means and we still don’t know anything about what happened at the train cart or why. Also, Romette still hasn’t woken up yet so we still haven’t gotten her story yet. Lots of stuff still to uncover in season 2 it seems.

Outside of the Laura stuff we also had this story of the mill which took so many twists and turns. Like at first it seemed like Catherine and Ben Horne were working together to burn down the mill, then it turns out that he’s actually working with Josie and is going to screw Catherine over for some reason, but then Josie is also secretly working with Hank who she paid to kill her husband so she could get the money. But Ben still wants to burn down the mill since he hired Leo to do that? So, like is Josie actually okay with burning the mill down, like did he offer her something? I’m still a bit fuzzy on what’s going on with all that.

Also, as the season went on I accepted Donna and James together more even if the timing was still weird to me, I don’t mind them so much and kinda like them together now and I guess Laura wasn’t all the faithful either so yeah. Also, I still think it’s fun that they got Laura’s actress to still be in the show as her cousin and just put a brown wig and huge glasses on her, haha. Although, I am worried for James, I hope he can find a way to prove his innocence after Bobby put the drugs in his motorcycle.

Now, speaking of Bobby, I don’t know how I feel about him, I hated him in the first episode and while I still don’t like him I don’t know I feel a bit bad for him I guess. Although, I’m mad he framed James like that, like he’s such a hypocrite to be mad at him because he dated Laura when Bobby also cheated on Laura with Shelly. But, that’s stupid teenage boys I guess.

Now, onto Shelly, I feel bad for her and I’m glad Leo is dead now. Although I was a bit confused about her relationship with Bobby because he’s like what 17/18 and how old is she? Like at first I thought she was a teenager too, but then it seemed like she wasn’t but then Bobby mentioned something about how she dropped out of high school to be with Leo so maybe they are close in or the same age. Yeah, but I hope she’s okay and that she gets out of the burning mill, I’d hate for her to just die like that.

Next, a character I really came to love as the show went on was Audrey, I wasn’t sure how I felt about her at first but I really came to love her. She’s smart and quick-thinking. I see why she vibes so much with Agent Cooper, maybe they would be a cute couple if not for the fact that she’s a high schooler and he’s like in his 30s, I’m glad that Cooper officially told her they couldn’t be together but still offered to be her friend. Also, I’m very curious about what’s going to happen with her dad when he sees her at One-eyed Jacks.

Now about Agent Cooper, I enjoyed every minute he was onscreen he’s just so fun to watch and I also loved how everyone at the police station just accepted his weird methods and dreams. Like Harry didn’t even bat an eye at Cooper telling him about his dream and was fully ready to arrest whoever he said Laura’s killer was. It’s fun where supernatural esque stuff happens and everyone just rolls with it. I also like how much he’s come to care about everyone and this town and I’m glad he stood up for Harry against that jerk fbi guy and refused to agree to press charges. And when he agreed to help him with Josie even though he was a bit skeptical because Harry told him he loved her and said that’s all he needed to know, I thought it was sweet.

Now, a quick thing I want to talk about is some of the other side characters. Honestly, I kinda love Nadine, like yeah she’s crazy but idk I think Ed’s too boring for someone like her and she deserves better. I’ll be sad if she really is dead next season. Then, we had Norma’s storyline with her husband, I like Norma and I’m honestly a bit worried about what Hank will do to her if he finds out about her relationship with Ed. Then, Dr Jacoby who I’m not totally sure what his deal is, like he seems like a creep and like he had some gross infatuation with Laura and honestly seems like a bad therapist. Then, Laura’s dad, who seems like he’s lost it like I understand wanting to get back at your daughters killer but I’m not sure how much farther he’s gonna go. Then, there’s Pete who seems like a really nice guy, I liked his friendship with Josie and I hope he doesn’t die trying to save Catherine. Then, finally, I hope that Lucy and Andy work it out and he apologizes to Lucy for how he reacted to her saying she was pregnant and steps up to be a father. Lucy is very sweet and deserves only the best so he better give it to her.

Finally, to talk about Laura herself, it seems like Laura had a lot of issues she was struggling with. Like she seemed to have a really low opinion of herself and seemed to think that she was inherently bad and therefore deserved bad things to happen to her and even took it out on others. I feel like the show is a bit trying to portray her as some devious girl, but I don’t know I just feel sad for her. I’m interested to learn more about her and what happened to her in the next season.

Anyway, I really enjoyed myself this season and I’m excited to see what awaits.

[evita-shelby]

Tie your heart to mine

Chapter 18

It was easier to think of the other girl as a faceless entity who was Jan's sister.

It is difficult to know Kasia is beautiful and sweet and undeserving of the hell she’s suffering through.

Kasia Tomazeski has lost both her parents and fights for freedom in Nazi occupied Poland...

...and Lois slept with her husband.

Lois feels disgusted with herself because Harry tried to explain things to her, to break things off for good and Lois had to tell him she loved him.

Even worse, she gave him her virginity because he said he still loved her. Because everything was going to change and she wanted one thing in her life to be as it as before.

She doesn’t tell Tom any of that. She couldn’t take his disappointment in her when he discovers how stupid she was.

Why couldn’t you be more like Tom? She hears Connie’s voice say in her head.

Tom was irresponsible in almost everything except his sex life. Left when he started noticing the signs his girl had the wrong idea about him, made sure he always had sheaths to spare so there was no consequences and never went after those spoken for.

Dad would be so disappointed in her for this.

He encouraged freedom as long as it was within his lines. Bad enough she’d joined ENSA and already packed her bags, now this.

“I’m sorry, Loo.” Tom said softly and kissed the top of her head like he always does when her romances fail spectacularly.

“Do they know what’s in here?” she asks burning from the humiliation of it.

She doesn’t like pity, no one does.

Diane could understand, but Charlie? Charlie who has been nothing short of Prince Charming for her and she decided to ruin it all because she thought Harry was the One?

“They say its bad manners to look at someone’s else’s files without permission.” He answered with a bit of a scoff. Neither of them has been able to get used to how normal things like getting government files on someone was for them.

How different they were and yet Lois has never seen Tom so serious and in love as hew was with Diane.

“I suppose that’s a good thing.” Lois dried her tears and slammed the door on her past with Harry. “Won’t have them look at me with pity tonight.”

There was no way she was going to stop living for Harry, no way she was going to spend any more seconds of her life thinking about him.

Fuck him. Fuck Harry and his fucking lies.

Tom hasn’t spoken much to his father since he came that morning.

It had been a week almost, he’s leaving for Cornwall on Monday and even though he knows this is isn’t the end, it feels like it.

As if the Tom that leaves isn’t the one coming back. He knows what shellshock does to man, he knows how it is to have your dad have it and know you can’t be a normal kid or a normal teenager or even a normal adult because of it.

And yet he says this when he and his dad sit alone waiting for Lois to come home. She’d gone to get adjustments made on her ENSA uniform with Connie and Diane and putting up a damn good fight against her heartbreak by letting Charlie Shelby treat her to lunch.

“I’m gonna marry her, dad.” So you have someone taking care of you when we’re gone. So I can die knowing I existed beyond a fucking number and a grave.

Tom doesn’t need to say it, his dad did the same in the Great War. Told Josie Vera Jones he’d marry her when he left for training and made her Josie Bennett in 1916 because she was two months pregnant with him.

“I said the same to your grandfather when I signed up in ’14.” His father stopped smoking when mum got sick, when the smoke made her cough until she spat blood and yet he takes one out of his pack and gave into the old habit.

Only did so when he was terrified to death.

Like when Lois started going out with boys or got her first gigs and they feared some bastard would take advantage of her. Several times they’d ended up here smoking on the table after Tom thrashed a man getting handsy with his little sister.

Or when he taught Tom how to drive on a borrowed car and he crashed it because he saw a pretty girl walking by the street.

Tom couldn’t help but laugh at the memory, him and his dad sitting on the table wondering how the fuck they’d pay for it. Sitting here being closer than they’ve ever felt even if his father is angry and terrified underneath the veneer.

“And what did grandad say?” Tom asks taking a drag from his cigarette in an odd imitation of the man in front of him. It had been he who taught him to smoke, when he’d caught him with a fag on his mouth wanting something to calm him down after the first time he’d been sent to jail.

“You need a ring for that.” His dad answered and stood up with a groan and proceeded to dig up mom’s things that he kept in his room.

Lois had all her things, the clothes she could refit to match the fashion and her size, the jewellery she treasured and even the perfume.

But there was one thing she hadn’t gotten: her wedding ring.

‘That’s for the lucky girl you’re going to marry, Tommy,’ she had said and told them how granddad gave dad the ring grandma used to wear as his blessing.

Back then Douglas was brash and carefree and happy, just like Tom was, or so what’s left of their family and friends love to point out.

War made a man out of him, the men like to say.

Your mother made a good man out of me, his dad says when they visit her grave.

“I don’t even know if she’ll say yes, dad. Save the ring for later.” Later when I can prove to myself I can.

“It’s like I’m hearing myself talk. Next thing you’ll say is that you’re moving out once you have enough for a house.” His father laughed nostalgically, like he did when telling them stories from his youth.

“I suppose we’re more alike than we think, aren’t we?” Tom can’t help but grin as he opened the ring case and saw the simple gold band carved with orange blossoms.

He has never been this serious in his life, as if knowing it could end any moment had changed something in him.

“Yeah, we are.”

He is not stupid.

He knows she doesn’t mean it when she flirts and touches him as they walk alone in the park.

Even worse, Charlie knows she doesn’t mean it when she kisses him because it would hurt Harry who came here with his little brother-in-law.

It’s not the first time Charles Absalom Shelby has felt used, and it won’t be the last.

“I shouldn’t have done that.” She apologizes after he doesn’t reciprocate the kiss.

“Yeah, you shouldn’t have.” He could’ve kissed her back, given into his attraction to her, but Charlie wants a woman who is with him for the right reasons and not because she’s hurt. “I’m not a toy, Lois.”

“I know.” Lois said looking ahead in embarrassment.

“But if you wanted me to help you hurt him, you could just ask, as a friend would.” He makes it all worse.

“As a friend?” she asks noticing the change with displeasure.

“As a friend.” He nods. Charlie had pursued her and given up, now she was disappointed in not having him after wasting her time on Chase.

He’d treated her for lunch as a friend would. If she wants him, she’d have to do the chasing and the wooing from now on.

“And what things could I ask of you, Charlie?” she asks turning on her charm all the way.

It shouldn’t be surprising that they end up in his hotel room and thanking his lucky stars he came prepared for this.

[amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines]

song lyric prompts!

Hey! You guys know what to do! In celebration of requests opening soon, and to get me back into the flow of writing, I thought I’d do a month of lyric prompts, ending august 4th! 

So, send a number (or a few) and a person and I’ll see what I can come up with! ✨✨

Thank you for sticking with me and I am so excited to start writing for you all again. 🥰

Prompts: 

1: every time she mentions your name, she says it like a prayer (more like you: orla gartland)

2: you show up at my home, all alone with a shovel and a rose (maniac: conan gray)

3: anything you say can and will be held against you, so only say my name (just one yesterday: fall out boy)

4: i wanna sleep next to you but that's all i wanna do right now (talk me down: troye sivan)

5: i fall in love just a little bit everyday with someone new (someone new: hozier)

6: now the day bleeds into nightfall and you’re not here to get me through it all (someone you loved: lewis capaldi)

7: i always fall from your window to the pitch black streets (the kids aren’t alright: fall out boy)

8: i'm shaving with your toothpaste and trying to vacuum from the ceiling (give me a try: the wombats)

9: there'll be happiness after you, but there was happiness because of you (happiness: taylor swift)

10: cause even when she's next to me, we could not be more far apart (she: dodie)

11: things will change they always do, but my heart will stay open for you (stay open: maya hawke)

12: i know you were way too bright for me (golden: harry styles)

13: the boy you loved in spring, the way she looks at him (the key to life on earth: declan mckenna) 

14: could not care less if you love me (special girl: dodie)

15: you fell asleep in my car i drove the whole time (tear in my heart: twenty one pilots)

16: if you dance with me, darling, if you take me home. will we talk in the morning? (will we talk?: sam fender)

17: you knew it still hurts underneath my scars from when they pulled me apart (hoax: taylor swift)

18: all the people over there, they don't seem to have a care, i'm so fucking self-aware, it's exhausting (pretending: orla gartland)

19: you know the galaxies of my heart (space girl: frances forever)

20: i'm just a part of someone else's dream (cool people: alfie indra)

21: tell me that I'm alright, that i ain't gonna die (hard times: paramore)

22: you started a band, that was cool for awhile but it turned pretty bland (forest whitaker: bad books)

23: don't you know I'm no good for you? (when the party’s over: billie eilish)

24: all the silver tongued suits and cartoons that rule my world (hypersonic missiles: sam fender)

25: 'cause babe, what's yours is mine, all your drama and your trauma (zombie!: orla gartland) 

26: with so much left to do, you’ll be missing out and we’ll be missing you (missing you: all time low)

27: but if i just showed up at your party. would you have me? would you want me? (betty: taylor swift)

28: and i've cleaned enough houses to know how to cover up a scene (no body, no crime: taylor swift) 

29: the millisecond that you're away i get the loneliest feeling (give me a try: the wombats)

30: open up your eyes, shut your mouth and see (only angel: harry styles)

31: ‘cause i found a girl, who's in love with a girl, she said that she tried, but she's not into guys (i found a girl: the vamps)

32: i saw a shooting star and thought of you (all of the stars: ed sheeran)

33: but i've found my sweet escape when I'm alone with you (disconnected: 5sos)

34: late december with my heart in my chest and the clouds of my breath (roman holiday: halsey)

35: how could i have been so foolish to let you leave (lover come back: city and colour)

36: only fools fall for you (fools: troye sivan)

37: i'm the only one that has made you fall in love (the king: conan gray)

38: now which do you prefer? to be alone, to be in love or to just be worth it? i think you're worth it (strawberry sunscreen: lostboycrow)

39: it's you, you're the one that makes me feel right (me & you together song: the 1975)

40: you don't have to be scared, babe. you don't need a plan of what you wanna do (listen to the man: george ezra)

41: you won't ever be alone, wait for me to come home (photograph: ed sheeran)

42: have i known you 20 seconds or 20 years? (lover: taylor swift)

43: looked like how i feel 'bout your lips (space girl: frances forever)

44: give me a minute to hold my girl (hold my girl: george ezra)

45: i know i'm the one you want to forget (miss missing you: fall out boy)

46: the darkest night never felt so bright with you by my side (outer space/carry on: 5sos)

47: just let me cry a little bit longer (rose-coloured boy: paramore)

48: you felt it once before i know you did (backseat serenade: all time low)

49: don’t you know that you are golden (golden: the vamps)

50: and i might never be the one who brings you flowers but i can be the one tonight (perfect: one direction)

People I write for:

Stranger Things:

- Steve

- Robin

- Nancy

- Jonathan

Riverdale:

- Sweet Pea

- Fangs

- Toni

- Cheryl

- Veronica

- Reggie

- Josie

- Kevin

- Archie

- Betty

- Jughead

- FP

- Jason

The End of The F***ing World:

- James

- Alyssa

5sos:

- Calum

- Luke

- Ashton

- Michael

Sex Education:

- Otis

- Eric

- Maeve

- Adam

- Jackson

- Aimee

- Lily

- Orla

Killing Eve: 

- Villanelle 

- Eve 

Prodigal Son: 

- Malcolm 

- Dani 

- Ainsley 

- JT 

- Jessica 

- Dr Edrisa 

- Dr Martin 

- Gil

WandaVision: 

- Wanda 

- Vision 

- Darcy 

- Jimmy 

- Monica 

And if you have any suggestions of who I could write for, send them in! 

support my writing! if you want! 

[vanchlo]

Under The Bed / Chapter Two, “Harry”

ABOUT: Josie Stephens was having a hard enough time at her mere age of five, having to start Kindergarten and move to a new house. Little did she know that it all would get a lot worse that first night when a monster popped out from under her bed, changing her life forever. Inspired by the 1989 movie, Little Monsters, one of my childhood favorites, I began this story in 2016 and recently fell back in love with it.

->   SERIES MASTERLIST

->   MAIN MASTERLIST

-> READ ON WATTPAD

WARNINGS: Mild swearing

WORD COUNT: 5.3k words

TAGLIST: IDK HOW TO DO THESE, BUT IF YOU WANNA BE ADDED SO YOU KNOW WHEN A NEW CHAPTER IS POSTED, JUST LET ME KNOW! :)

@berrynarrybanana​

@wotamelonsugar​

SNEAK PEEK OF COURSE ->

"I said, who are you?!"

"Calm down, ya big baby! I came from under yer bed an' I scared ya. Now, what does that big brain ol’ brain of yers tell ya I am?" he replies, and it takes a few seconds before the answer pops into my head.

THEN

It's not the easiest to remember, but when a monster just happens to pop out from under your bed one night, it's not something that you can forget.

The moving trucks were pulling away from the house. Finally. No longer was the front curb crowded by their orangeneness and height. At last, the few big guys walking in and out of the trucks holding all of our stuff were too. I didn't want to move, and I didn't like the new house. It smelled weird and the staircase was like a mountain that I had to climb every day with my short five year old legs. All of my toys were in boxes that were stacked in my room. Nothing but my new big girl bed, a lamp and Mr. Snuggles, the stuffed duck, took up my scary big room that was all mine. But, boy, were there boxes. There were ones labeled in Mom's scribble, 'Josie's clothes,' and ‘Josie's toys' and 'Josie's books.’ Blah blah blah. 

All of this moving business seemed pretty stupid to me. I liked our old backyard better, and that we didn’t have a staircase I had to struggle to climb too many times a day. Lastly, I moved away from Betsy who lived across the street, and Mollie who lived on the corner. I had nobody to play House with or have tea parties with. I think that was the worst part of moving to this stinky, new house. I had to leave my old friends, which meant that I had no friends at all. Maybe Mr. Snuggles was the only one but he couldn't talk, and tea with only two people is boring. I had a new scary bed and bedroom. A new, big house to get used to. Painting the new, cracked sidewalk with chalk didn't sound like fun. 

I had no friends, and I felt so alone.

/

Dad closes my door behind him and Mom, mumbling one last 'sweet dreams' and a kiss before the creaky door closes. The room is cloaked in darkness, making new sounds I don't like and that scare me. The Scooby Doo night light next to my bed is the only light there is, except for the faint streetlight out the left window. Otherwise, it's pitch black, so much so I can't even see my own hand in front of me, and that's when I know it's bad. Lying there under the new, cold, and scratchy sheets, I stare into the dark trying to fall asleep. Mr. Snuggles' fuzzy yellow head is tucked under my chin, and my pink blankey;s clutched to my chest. The sound of cars outside is a small hum through the window, and I can hear the muffled noise of my parents talking downstairs.

It feels like I've been lying here for hours, making me wonder why Mom said that 'I should be out like a light after how tiring today was’ when I just can't fall asleep. But, I don't know, because I didn’t do much else besides sitting on the rickety swing outside. I sat there with Mr. Snuggles watching Mom, Dad, and the moving men bring stuff into the house. Bug Juice after Bug Juice and a mini bag of Oreos was for lunch. 

After a while, I hear the lights flick off and the bar of yellow light under my door turns to black, their work done for the night. My parents' voices get closer as their steps creak on the stairs and disappear down the hall, and then it's quiet. Too quiet. Shutting my eyes, I take a breath as I hold Mr. Snuggles closer and breathe in his familiar scent. But then there's a small click and when I open my eyes, the nightlight is out. Not soon after that, there's a scuffle and my bed lifts on the one side only to fall back down to the floor with a thud.

My heart is thumping in my chest fast and I'm sinking down into my Hello Kitty covers, pulling them over my head as my nervous breaths leave my mouth loudly. I suddenly hear somebody else breathing and the sound of footsteps. Quickly, I'm pretty sure I'm going to die and Mr. Snuggles is going to die with me. No, not Mr. Snuggles. A pair of hands rips the covers down off of my face, but I keep my eyes squeezed shut.

"Are ya serious, ya think bloody bed covers are gonna keep ya safe now?" a thick slow voice says, one that sounds . . weird. It sounds like a boy, an older one than me, and he says his words all weird. "C'mon now, open yer eyes already."

I shake my head, not knowing why I'm doing it but I do. Mom always says I'm stubborn and don't like to do what I'm asked of, whatever that word means. "Oh my god, just open yer eyes," they groan, and I don't know why, but I do. I hear a loud 'boo!' and a pair of hands shake my shoulders, making me scream but a hand comes over my mouth to stop it. A strong musty smell surrounds me. "Bloody hell, ya gotta pair of lungs on you! Keep it down, will ya? Don' wanna wake yer parents an' have 'em come in here. 'd lose me bloody job an' 'd only make yer life mo’ of a living hell if that happened, I swear t’ it," they mutter, voice high with alarm, and ending in a creepy laugh. His tongue makes a weird sound, but I can't see him. I can only hear him. For a second in the dark, I see two hovering green circles above me that don't go anywhere, and then tiny little blue dots appear out of nowhere.

Breathing hard and fast and trying to protect Mr. Snuggles, I open my mouth and bite down hard on what I think is his hand. It tastes gross, and it's cold. He mutters a loud 'ouch!' and then there's creaky steps, his musty smell going away, but only a litte. "I can' believe ya fuckin’ bit me, ya li'l brat!"

"Who are you?" I nearly shout, words feeling weird as my voice shakes.

"Be quiet, will ya? You'll wake yer parents- how many times do I gotta say it?!"

"T-tell me who you are, now!" I bite back, slowly sitting up and hearing sounds from across my dark room. "A-And what did you do with my nightlight?"

"Ya want it so bad, then here, have it," he says, something scuffing against the ground before suddenly it's back in the wall and it's all lit up. "Yer sumthin', arentcha? God, never knew why you goddamn kids liked some stupid dog that talked, anyways. I bloody hate nightlights, they don't really do anythin', do they?"

"I said, who are you?!"

"Calm down, ya big baby! I came from under yer bed an' I scared ya. Now, what does that big brain ol’ brain of yers tell ya I am?" he replies, and it takes a few seconds before the answer pops into my head. I hug Mr. Snuggles tighter to my body and breathe him in, my eyes growing hot and watery.

"Oh my bloody god, dontchu cry. No, no, no, dontchu fuckin’ cry on me," they say really fast, letting out a loud breath at the end. The tears fall down my cheeks long and hot, Mr. Snuggles taking the brunt of them as I hold onto him for dear life. "Please, I hate it when you lot cry, 's bloomin' annoyin’ an' it hurts me ears . . Yer not s’posed t’ do it ‘til afta I leave, ugh. Please stop yer cryin' already, Josie."

I sniffle and lift my head after a second, trying to find him in the dark, whoever he is. But, I still can't see a thing. I think he's across the room towards my closet, but I don't really know. "H-how do you know my name- who are you? Tell me already!"

"Okay, okay. Will ya ever shut that bloody mouth of yers? 'm uh, well 'm a monsta, if ya hadn't figured that out already. Yer a bright little five year old, figured you'd know that by now," they reply, and then there's footsteps. They're getting louder and, so I think, closer.

"How do you know all this stuff about me?"

"That's not even that much, ya brat. I know loads 'bout ya. Know yer birthday, even what time you were born down t' tha second. Know ya hate spiders and frogs, think they're gross 'cuz they're all slimy an' squishy. Know ya jus' moved from yer old house t' this one t’day, an' that ya think tha basement's reaaaaal scary. Also know that yer scared of unda ya bed, as ya should be, an' that tha biggest thing yer scared of 's tha dark," he replies, and even though I can't see it, I know that my jaw is hanging down. Who is this person- well, monster, and why does he know so much about me? How?

"How d-do you know all that, and why do you know it?"

"'s me job t' know that stuff 'bout you, Josie. I only get sum stuff, y’know, tha stuff that matters t' me an' I need t' know. Now, why would I need t' know what yer scared of if 'm a big scary monsta? I bet ya can answer me that one, Josie Posie," he says, and I gulp loudly. Thinking about it for a second, I peek a look over to my door, or in the direction I think it would be in.

"No, no, dontchu even think 'bout screamin' or yer really not gonn' like me, Josie," he warns as I sniffle. I can taste the strawberry chapstick on my lips as they open and I yell the two words.

"Mommy, Daddy!"

"Ugh, ya've really done it now, Jose. I thought ya'd learn yer lesson, but guess not. Thanks a fuckin' lot," the boy mutters quietly. There's a tickle on my ankle before a scuffle, and my bed rises and dips again. 

The lights click on outside my room. I hear fast pitter--patter before my door flies open, and the light turns on. My mom comes in first in her pink bathrobe, pulling it around herself as she rushes over. Dad’s hot on her tail in a Packers shirt and checkered pajama bottoms.

"What is it, sweetie?" Mom hums as she stops in front of me, her face looking sad as her brown hair is all a mess.

"There was a monster in my room! He came from under my bed, and he was all mean and scary!"

They look at each other before pulling me in for a hug, playing with my hair and giving me kisses on the head.

"Honey, you probably just heard something. It's an old house and it makes noises sometimes, but it's nothing to worry about. You're just fine, there's no monsters under your bed because there's no such things as monsters," my dad says, sitting beside me and putting an arm around me.

Mom wipes my tears away and smoothes back my hair as they shush my worries and calm my mind before helping me back under the covers. There's about five 'no's when I ask if I can sleep with them, Dad looking more upset than Mom about it until they leave my bedroom with another 'goodnight' and a 'sweet dreams.’ The room is silent and still, except for the hovering Scooby Doo head lighting up the floor around it next to me. My eyes stay there as the warm blankets hug me. With Mr. Snuggles and blankey close, I shut my eyes and try to get some sleep, like Mom had said.

They fly open when I hear a sound, and I whimper when my bed moves again.

"Ya think yer a smart one, d’ya, Josie? Ya can’t get ridd’a me that fast, love," the boy murmurs, his footsteps creaking on the wooden floor. "They didn't believe ya, did they?"

A small 'no' comes from me as the blankets surround me in a warm cocoon, but I suddenly don't want to be lying here anymore. I want to sit up and see him, but that thought scares the bejeezus out of me the second I think about it.

"Didn' do a lotta good cryin' fer mummy an' daddy, now did it? Maybe ya should think 'bout that tha next time, an' see how good of an idea it seems."

"What do you want?!" I say, my lips bending into a frown as I pull myself up to face my closet, wishing I could see his face. But again, all that's there are the little blue random dots that seem to be in the shape of a rectangles or something, and the bright green dots.

"'m a monsta, love. Already told ya that, what d’ya think I want?"

"Are you really a monster?" I whine in question, feeling like there's a circus happening in my chest.

"Yeah, sure I am."

"You're not telling me a fib?"

"Nope, promise me black li'l monsta heart," they say, and I take a shaky breath as my heart thumps in my ears. Holding Mr. Snuggles as tight as I can, I swipe my tongue across my dry lips and stare into the darkness. The ceiling fan overheard whirs softly, the only sound in the room besides my loud breathing. "'m not tellin' ya a fib, Josie. Promise ya that. How d’ya think I came out from unda yer bed, anyways?"

"How am I supposed to believe you? I don't know you, and I can't even see what you look like when you're talking to me. Danget, I don't even know your name o-or if ya have one!"

"God, yer a feisty li'l one, arentcha, doll? Take a breath, would ya? I dunno, ya don' hafta believe me I s'pose, 's upta you on that one," he replies, and I only grow more confused, heaving a big breath. "Don' get so bent outta shape over it, 'm just yer monsta an' I scare ya. Yer not s'posed t' know me name, 's jus' how it 's, I reckon. Tha's all t' it, really. Now, if I did me job an' yer all scared outta yer socks an' everythin', 'll be off. Got other li'l tots I gott' scare besides yerself, y’know."

"But-," I chance, learning I was two seconds too late. There's a flick of something moving past the space the Scooby lights up, and my bed moves. e's gone. "No fair!" I shout, falling back onto my pillows with a plop. Tugginig my blankets back up, I mutter annoyances to Mr. Snuggles, picturing him replying and agreeing with me.

Then there's that sound again. Like a shoe against carpet, or something like that because Mom never lets me wear my shoes in the house, so I can't be sure. "Sweet dreams, Josie Posie! Oh, and sleep tight! I hope all the beddy bugs bite. 'll see ya later, ya li'l brat!" the squeaky scary voice says again before there's another scruff and I hear him leave, wherever in the world he came from.

Turning over with a whimper, I pull the covers over my head and shut my eyes, trying to think of happy things like sugar plums and fairies. I try to forget about what just happened, and the fact that I have a monster under my bed- my own scary monster.

/

The next day was unpack this and unpack that. Move this and move that. To make it plain and simple, it was boring, it was hot out, and I didn't want to ‘fill up my new bedroom,’ like Mom and Dad kept saying to try and make it sound fun. But it wasn't. Because I couldn't stop thinking about the night before when that thing came out from under my bed. After awhile it just melted down into a bad dream or something I had imagined, because I'm a kid and that's what kids do, right? I must have dreamt it or made it up. 

"It's looking nice so far, isn't it, Josie?" Mom says, looking around at my room staring to well, look like a bedroom. There's my dresser, and my little table for tea parties with my favorite stuffies sitting on the chairs. Clothes are beginning to get hung up in my closet, the bookcase against the wall just needs some books to make it look better and not so sad, and a nice pink rug sits by my door.

"Yeah, I guess," I say sadly, taking a seat on the purple beanbag in the corner, watching Mom turn towards the door when Dad comes in holding another box. He pushes his combed back blonde hair off of his sweaty forehead, wet patches showing under his armpits as he turns to walk away after setting down another box.

"Hmm, I wonder where we should put this," Mom says quietly to herself, holding an old shoebox of something or other. Taking a few steps, she crouches down to push aside my pink Hello Kitty comforter.

"No, don't!" I say, standing up fast and running over to her.

"Why noyt" she replies, looking at me quickly. I glance to the empty space under my bed, now that she's pushed the fabric to the side. When I see nothing but the dark wooden floor, I no longer worry, but now I'm confused. "You don't still think there's a monster under there, do you?"

"No, but maybe a really scary dust bunny," I joke and she smiles before pushing the stray box under there and standing back up to get working on things, because she'll never believe me, anyways. Dad and her didn't the first time, because who would believe me when I tell them there's a monster under my bed? I don't even know if it was real myself.

After a while, we take a break and all sit under the shade of the tall oak tree in the front yard. A pitcher of lemonade and hot dogs with potato chips is for lunch as we sit at our new picnic table. The hot June sun beats down on us as Mom and Dad quietly talk about where to put the couches and which would look better in different spots. I nibble on a crinkly yellow chip, looking around at the new neighborhood. And I wonder if I'll ever get past the cold fear settling in my stomach about this new house.

/

Mom kisses the top of my head, smoothing my hair back with her hand before disappearing into the hallway where Dad talks to somebody on the phone loudly. The door closes with a squeak and I turn over with a huff. I hold Mr. Snuggles and blankey as close as I can before closing my eyes, willing him to not come back. Please, please, please. Please don't come back, please don't come back. I fall asleep mumbling it under my breath, the Scooby light protecting me from the darkness, like Mom said. But I don't know how much I believe that anymore.

/

"Wake up!" a voice shouts, and I jolt awake to find somebody bouncing on my bed. "Bloody hell, get yer arse up already!" they say again, and as I rub my sleepy crusted eyes, I recognize the voice and how the words sound funny. It's the boy again, and he's back. It's the monster.

"I was sleeping."

"I can see that, but ya aren't anymo' so wake up. Did ya know ya snore? 's bloody annoyin', if ya ask me," he mutters, something hard like his leg not far away when I stretch my own out and touch him. They recoil from the cold sensation and I hug them back to my body.

Taking his words carefully, I reach over slowly to find the smooth metal chain and yank it hard to bathe the room in light. A scream leaves my lips when I lay my eyes on him, and as if things are moving in slow motion, I see his yellow tinged eyes with bright green circles roll into the back of his head. Next thing I know, he's practically lying on top of me with his cold gross hand over my mouth. My hurried words leave my mouth in muffled murmurs as his bad breath fans over me.

"Dontcha know how t' keep quiet, ya brat?" he spits, shaking his head of dirty brown curls, making them move and dislodging hair from around the two small yellow horns poking out of his head. One on each side, but that's just the first of it. "Scared ya, did I? Good tha's me job, ya li'l bugger. Now, if I take me hand off yer mouth are ya gonna promise not t' scream? Told ya last night what'll happen if ya do it again."

I nod my head slowly, taking in every part of him. His round head slowly nods too before he removes his hand from my mouth and sits back, letting me get up too. Crossing my legs, my eyes stay glued to him as he turns his head to I guess look around my room. "Looks like a bloody pink pixie threw up all over yer room, 's a bit much, innit?" he says, playing with his bottom lip as he scans my bedroom. A few boxes still sit there waiting to be unpacked, but for the most part my room is all made up. I swallow, and he looks over at me, his eyes going over me. "Ya forgot how t' speak or summat?"

"Y-You're really a monster . . I'm not just imagining it," I whisper, my words going all kinds of places.

"Sure am, Josie Posie. No point in really lyin' 'bout it, now 's there?" he says, breaking eye contact as he stands up. And I find out quickly that he's tall. Another twelfth thing I've learned about him in the last minute.

He waltzes over to the corner of my room where the tea table sits along with a shelf holding pull out baskets with different toys in each. His long pale fingers wrap around one of the handles and tugs on it, picking a red headed Barbie out and making a disgusted sound before stuffing it back in. "Yer such a girl, arentchu?" he complains, his blue tinted skin not bothering to push the basket back in before moving onto my bookshelf, picking up a light blue and purple book. "How ironic 's it that ya have this book, huh?" Turning to me and flashing the cover at me, I see that it's Monsters Inc. I want nothing more than to go back to sleep, I think.

"What does that word mean?" I say nervously, his movements slow and careful as he flips through the book and tosses it onto the floor carelessly, ending right side up on an open page. Looking back to me, his crazy brown eyebrows go up as he looks at me with his bright green eyes. I realize that's what I saw last night glowing in the dark, his neon eyes. "The word starting with an 'I'."

"'ironic'?" he asks, and I nod as he takes his time walking around inspecting my stuff, picking up Beary Jones and petting his soft brown fur. "It uh, I dunno how t' describe it, really. Means that sumthin's funny in a weird way, I guess."

"Whatever," I say, my head falling onto my pillow as I get back under the toasty warm covers.

"Ya can't go back t' bed yet."

"And how come?"

"Cuz, I haven't scared ya all good yet. I can't go yet 'til I have," he replies, running his hand over Beary Jones' ears before pulling at his red overalls. In a blink he rips his head off and white cotton is falling down onto the floor like snow.

"No, not Beary! Why'd you do that?"

"Would ya shutup already, ya nosy li'l brat? 's just a fake stuffed bear, get over it!" he snarls, flinging it onto the red table. Beary's head sits on the floor sadly, getting squished by his grimy black sneakers as he walks back over to me. I shrink into the covers as he approaches. "I scare ya all good yet, Josie Posie?"

I reply with a soft 'no' but as he gets closer I move back, reaching the other side of my bed until I'm almost falling over the edge. His pale face, a shade of light blue, gets closer and closer to mine. The little blue dots like freckles covering his ghostly skin look like little flattened balls of playdoh before they're gone, shouting a 'boo! My back hits the hard floor. A whimper leaves my lips and I hold my achy elbow as tears well in my eyes and my bottom lip quivers, turning away when he walks around the corner with a laugh.

"Go away!" I yell at him, my voice small and weak and the crying isn't helping.

"Yer such a li'l baby, ya know that?" he smiles, crouching down. A holey black t-shirt clings to his sides amongst his muscly arms covered with black pictures and words. Pants the same color and just as old and beat up are on his legs, but they're tighter.

"I said go away, I don't like you!" I repeat, smushing my face into the fuzzy white rug next to me. Hot tears spill from my eyes and wet my hot face. My heart thuds loudly as I sniffle with each sob, no matter how quiet I try to make them. He begins to say something I think, but I stop him, "No! You're mean and I never asked for a monster, I hate this new house and you're making it worse! I hate you I hate you, go away and never come back!"

"Josie," he says softly, whatever his stupid monster name is. "Hey, look at me."

"Why should I?"

"Cuz I said so, now look at me, you li'l shit," he says angrily, and I pull away my sweaty teary face to look up at his. It's blurry, but it's blue and weird and dirty. Reaching his hand out for a reason I don't know, I look between it and his face before opening my mouth and biting his finger.

"You li’l fucker, ow! Why d’ya keep doin' that, ugh?!" he swears. I get up from the floor and dash out of the room and down the hallway. "Yer really gonn' get it now, Josie! Thought you weren't gonna be too bad, but now, I dunno anymo'." I hear lastly as I turn left down the hallway, and I stop in front of Mommy and Daddy's door. I take one last peek down the hall to my bedroom where the light flows out into the dark hall, hiccups leaving my lips as thoughts bubble around inside of my head.

Wiping my tears away, I change my mind and when I step back into my room, I find his dark, dusty figure with his back to me, picking up something off my dresser. He must have heard me because he turns around and looks me in the eyes only for a second, and then his crazy green eyes fall to the Disney snowglobe in his hand. Little balls of snow fall down onto the castle from in the Magical Kingdom.

"Please don't break it, that's my favorite. I got it from Disney at Christmas time," I cry.

"Won't if ya promise not t' bloody bite me again," he shrugs, looking to me for an answer and when I nod he puts it back. He runs the tip of his finger over Tinker Bell's glittery wing, walking over to my bed and pushing the cover back off of the floor.

"Where are you going?"

"Told ya last night I got other kiddies t' scare, an' if 'm bein' honest, 'm quite sick of you fer tha day, so 'm off," he answers, sticking his long legs under my bed. When I take a step closer, I notice that they've disappeared and it's just the tops of his legs and the rest of him still there. But that doesn't make sense, so much of this doesn't. "Breathe, Josie, 's jus'- 'll be back tomorra, try not t' bite anybody else while 'm gone, sound good?"

"O-Okay," I say slowly, playing with the sleeve of my princess nightgown.

"God, you are such a girl, 's bloody terrifyin'," he says, shaking his head. I open my mouth to say something. "Whatd’ ya want now?"

"You never told m-me your name."

"Well tha's for me t' know an' fer you t' never find out, innit now, Josie Posie?" he smiles, winking one of his green eyes at me. I sigh and throw my hands up, feeling the soreness when my elbow moves and I wince, whining a 'that's not fair, you're never fair!'

"Tone it down, will you?! 's jus' a name, dunno why ya wanna know so bad!"

"Well, if you're gonna be scaring me every night, I want to know."

"My goodness, 'm in fer a load of trouble with you, aren't I?" he shakes his head, looking away and to under my bed where it's just brown wood and the beginning of dust bunnies. Rubbing his big, pointy nose, he lets out a loud breath and I see his wacky eyes once more. "Tha name's Harry. Now, I really best be off. Sweet dreams an' ya betta not hope tha bed bugs bite!" 

There's nothing left but a whisper of his words and a whoosh after he slid under my bed, making me wonder ten new things that I don't know what to think of or what the answer could even be.

With a huff, I wander to the door and find the lightswitch. With a last look to the empty space under my bed, I flick the light off and dash to my bed quickly, even though I know there aren't any monsters under my bed to get me. Well, I can't say that anymore, I think, as I bring Mr. Snuggles back into my arms. And I don't know what to think of that really, and how it should make me feel.

But all I know is that I'm kind of looking forward to bedtime now, and getting to see my monster, Harry. He’s kind of . . what’s the word? 

Cute.

[trustsalvatorewriting]

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐬 & 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬

hi! if you want to request for any of the fandoms i’m in, you don’t have to use these prompts! i’m just adding them in case you don’t know what to request. please follow the rules and have fun! also, the fandoms are not cut and dry. i will be adding more throughout time.

𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬

- i don’t write nsfw, sorry!

- please request one at a time for headcanons! ( this doesn’t apply to poly headcanons or fics )

- i won’t write anything that romanticizes triggering topics such as s*lf-h*rm, ab*se, r*pe, inc*st, or anything like that. please don’t ask for it, thank you.

- i reserve the right to deny a request. this is my account and it represents me as a writer. please respect that.

𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦𝐬

A Series of Unfortunate Events      Violet Baudelaire, Malina Weissman

Avatar the Last Airbender      Zuko, Mai

Disney      Maya Hart, Farkle Minkus, Sabrina Carpenter, Corey Fogelmanis, Rowan       Blanchard, Mal Bertha, Prince Ben, Jay Jafarson, Harry Hook, Dove      Cameron, Thomas Doherty, Booboo Stewart

Friends      Chandler Bing, Joey Tribbiani 

Fruits Basket      Kyo Sohma, Yuki Sohma, Tohru Honda

Game of Thrones      Daenerys Targaryen, Missandei, Arya Stark, Emilia Clarke

IT 2017      Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough, Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak, Stanley      Uris, Sophia Lillis, Jaeden Martell, Finn Wolfhard, Jack Dylan Grazer,      Wyatt Oleff, Bill Skarsgard

Legacies      Hope Mikaelson, Josie Saltzman, Penelope Park, Danielle Rose Russell,      Kaylee Bryant, Lulu Antariksa

Ouran HighSchool Host Club      Tamaki Suoh, Kyoya Ootori, Hikaru Hitachiin, Kaoru Hitachiin, Mitsukini      Haninozuka (Honey), Takashi Morinozuka (Mori), Haruhi Fujioka           * I only write platonic for Honey, sorry!

Percy Jackson / Heroes of Olympus      Percy Jackson, Annabeth Chase, Rachel Dare, Leo Valdez, Nico di      Angelo

Red Band Society      Emma Chota, Jordi Palacios

Sherlock      Sherlock Holmes, Irene Adler

Stranger Things      Max Mayfield, Mike Wheeler, El “Eleven” Hopper

The Fault In Our Stars      Hazel Grace Lancaster, Augustus Waters, Ansel Elgort

The Hunger Games      Finnick Odair, Sam Claflin

The Originals      Klaus Mikaelson, Rebekah Mikaelson, Kol Mikaelson, “Kaleb” Mikaelson,      Hayley Marshall, Hope Mikaelson, Danielle Rose Russell

The Perks of Being A Wallflower      Charlie, Patrick, Sam, Ezra Miller

Twilight       Edward Cullen, Bella Swan, Rosalie Hale, Emmett Cullen, Alice Cullen,      Jasper Hale, Victoria

Victorious      Jade West, Beck Oliver

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐬

angst

1. “please don’t cry”

2. “please stop lying to me”

3. “can you just shut up for once in your life?”

4. “i don’t care”

5. “and that makes it okay?”

6. “what makes you think i would ever want to be with you?”

7. “when did you fall out of love with me?”

8. “i shouldn’t love you, but i couldn’t help it.”

9. “i always knew that you were too damn selfish.”

10. “are you leaving me?”

11. “loving you is a fucking death sentence.”

12. “you’re gone. i watched your disappear.”

13. “am i going to die?”

14. “you’re the worst mistake i’ve ever fucking made!”

15. “i don’t know how to look you in the eye after the things i’ve done.”

16. “it’s only 2.a.m...”

17. “you are the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.”

18. “please don’t hide from me.”

20. “i wish we met before they convinced your life is war.”

21. “have you ever loved me? you know what... don’t say anything. i already know the answer.”

22. “don’t take another step in my direction.”

23. “your enemy whispers so you have to scream.”

24. “don’t think i don’t see how they fall for all of your charms.”

25. “after all you’ve put me through, don’t say that you were not the monster that i knew.”

fluff

1. “why don’t you stay the night?”

2. “i’ll feel much better if you let me walk you home.”

3. “i wanted to say ‘i love you’ without stuttering. i failed.”

4. “i fucking love you.” “hang up, and tell me this when you’re sober.”

5. “i never thought there’d be someone like you who would want me, so i’ll give you ten thousand reasons to not let me go.”

6. “do you really need all that candy?”

7. “stop being so cute.”

8. “i can’t reach it!”

9. “there’s three of us; choose one.”

10. “just go back to sleep. everything’s all right.”

11. “can you please go sit in another room or something? i can’t concentrate with you around.”

12. “i get that you’re way taller than me, but do you really have to steal all the blankets? i’m fucking cold.” 

13. “call me as soon as you get home.”

14. “did you just -- did you just throw salt at me? i’m not possessed!”

15. “you said my name in your sleep.”

16. “could you help me out? i am very gay and i would like a few dollars.”

17. “i’ve connected the dots.” “you didn’t connect shit.” “i’ve connected them.”

18. “let’s watch sharkboy and lavagirl.” “okay.” “and make out during the scary parts.” “the scary parts.” “yeah.” “of sharkboy and lavagirl.”

19. “yeah, you watched ten seasons of keeping up with the kardashians.”

20. “now, me, i’m a bit of a romantic. i believe she eloped.”

21. “give me a heads-up if you start feeling murderous, i would appreciate that.”

22. “that’s not true! my wife is a bitch and i like her so much.”

23. “i have a girlfriend / boyfriend now myself, which is weird because i’m probably gay based on how i’ve talked and talked for 28 years.”

24. “do you want me to kill that guy for you? because it sounds like he sucks and i would totally kill that guy for you.

25. “what can i say? i’m charming and irresponsible.” “you mean irresistable?” “no.”

𝐅𝐀𝐐 (𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐀𝐬𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐐𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬)

Q: Did you die?

A: This is patronizing. It’s rude and I ask that you don’t ask me this question. I have a life outside of Tumblr.

[moderately-competent-bird]

So I think I’ve got a full chapter of my Lizzie/Harry Hook crossover fic done, but I’m not quite ready to put it up on ao3 yet since I’m not TOTALLY sure where I’m going with it, but here’s an excerpt

Premise: No one is sure how to handle Josie now that she’s fully gone dark and wants to complete the merge, so in an effort to keep Lizzie safe in the meantime, Hope and Alaric send her to another dimension. (i.e. Auradon.) 

When Lizzie opened her eyes again, she was lying on the dusty floor of what looked like a run-down, patched-together shack.

“Oh great. Thanks, Hope. This is just perfect.” she muttered sarcastically. The absolute nerve of Hope and her father, sending her to...wherever she was...with no care whatsoever for her input. She sat up and looked around, grimacing. The place was an absolute wreck, but seemed lived-in? Did someone actually live here? Yikes.

She wondered how long she'd be stuck here. Or if there was magic in this world. Oh god, what if she got sent to a dimension with no magic? Would Hope be that reckless? She would never get back out on her own! Or maybe that was the point...

Lizzie stood up, dusting the debris from her clothes. She surveyed the little shack she'd landed in. After having a look around, it wasn't the worst...but someone definitely lived here. She inhaled and detected the scent of ocean air. Thank god. Maybe she had landed near a beach. She could turn this dreadful situation around, perhaps.

She couldn't make out much in the dim light. There was a makeshift bed in the corner, and some old chairs and a table. And a microwave. Then, a desk in another corner littered with papers. She picked one up. “VK Day, next Friday.” she read the flier aloud. An image of four teenagers smiled up at her brightly...encouragingly.  “Will you be the next one chosen to go to Auradon?”  It seemed several months old, and crumbled but then straightened back out. As if whoever had done had a change of heart. Though, not before they'd taken the time to punch out the eyes of each of the smiling teenagers.

She set the paper back down and prepared to exit the shack, ready to face whatever world she'd landed in and hopefully not die in the process. Though it would be particularly ironic if she were to die here, after Hope had gone to the trouble to “protect” her by sending her here. A spiteful part of her enjoyed the thought.

The door creaked behind her, and she jumped. As it swung open fully, masculine figure filled the door frame, illuminated by moonlight.

He stopped short when he realized he was clearly not alone. “Well, well.” his face was still partially obscured by darkness, but she wasn't looking at that. She was looking at his hand, or rather, hook that was raised mid-air. “What have we here? Another Auradon girl slumming it on the Isle? Ever since the barrier came down it's like we can't get rid of you lot.”

Wait. She knew that voice. The accent was off but...no. It couldn't be. “Sebastian?” her voice came out as barely more than a whisper.

He flipped on a light-switch by the door, and sure enough it was Sebastian's face looking back at her. The hair was different. The clothes were much different. But the resemblance was...uncanny. She'd heard of doppelgangers before, of course. But this was an entirely different world. Surely it wasn't possible.

He frowned, though he was obviously still amused. “Okay, well, I'll pretend I'm not horrifically insulted that you don't know who I am.” he dropped the hook on the floor, much to her relief. “But would you be so kind as to tell me why you're poking around in my hideout?” He looked at her expectantly, awaiting an answer that she simply did not have. This would be fun. 

[imran16829]

Floyd Mayweather's Kids Mother Dies: Josie Harris Biography, Wiki, Age, Family, Net Worth, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Fast Facts You Need to Know

Floyd Mayweather’s Kids Mother Dies: Josie Harris Biography, Wiki, Age, Family, Net Worth, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Fast Facts You Need to Know

Josie Harris Biography, Josie Harris Wiki

Josie Harris is the ex-girlfriend of professional boxer Floyd Mayweather Jr. She was an aspiring actress. She appeared on a 2013 episode of Starter Wives Confidential and appeared on an episode of Good Day L.A. In 2006, she had a role in the film Exit 38 where she played a character named Pat.

Scroll Down and Read Everything about the Josie Harris you…

[girlobsessed21]

The 100 6x09 discussion - Kane’s gone... O’s back bitches! And Bellarke’s besties?

This was a fantastic episode. Filled with emotions, action, and morality. But I needed a little more from certain scenes. It’s such a shame that this show only has 13 episodes, which results in the pace being way too fast and certain things left out. And the anomaly still remains well, an anomaly.

Since I’m pressed for time today, this will be short, I can’t go into too much detail but I will do a detailed Bellarke discussion tomorrow. That said, let’s get into the recap.

Bloodreina no more

So, Octavia wakes and remembers nothing from the anomaly. Convenient. This will most certainly come back into play. Like I said before and Gabriel confirmed, that is a younger version of Octavia. They’re saving the best details for last.

The red sun toxin makes any living being want to kill themselves, and humans weren’t supposed to survive on the moon, yet they found a way - Hmmm interesting, what does this mean for the future of our beloved heroes.

Even though O knows the dangers, she takes the toxin anyway to help Gabriel and Diyoza in some way I suppose. If they find out how the anomaly works, they can save her.

It seems like she followed the red light because she needed redemption and what better way than to throw her in the fighting pit herself. Like Bloodreina said in 5x02, “The Gladiators were given a chance to fight for their freedom and so will you.” She needed to battle the monster inside in order to be freed.

That scene with Pike returning was A-MA-ZING and the callbacks to Lincoln’s death a much-needed propeller. Kudos to the writers here. Both Marie and Michael delivered a spectacular performance and conviction of her redemption. Her past is filled with horrible features and some argue she doesn’t deserve it, but if you have true remorse, atonement can be given to anyone.

It’s fitting that Pike was the angel and Bloodreina the devil in her head. The loathed Skaikru leader killed the love of her life which triggered the hate inside of her. Octavia’s ‘unnecessary’ vengeance gave birth to Skairippa. He symbolizes her verge of evil while Bloodreina was her complete descent into darkness. All she needed was a hand to pull her back into the light.

Fun fact, Einstein actually never said, “Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is the definition of insanity.”

One last thing - I like Gabriel and Octavia’s relationship and I feel something blooming here.

May we meet again, Kane

First off, I cringed at the Gavin!Kane and Abby scenes. I literally could not watch. It was awful knowing that it’s Kane but not really him, it felt like Abby was cheating and it was just a big no from me. I’ve never been a Kabby fan, mostly because I’ve never liked Abby’s character but they loved each other. I’d like to hear what Kabby shippers thought of it?

What I did appreciate is that he acknowledged his scars as a part of him. No matter how much we try to deny it, our past makes us who we are, the good, the bad and the ugly. He learned from his mistakes, each one of them and tried to do better. Like Abby pointed out, he symbolized hope.

Every week I question why the nulls worship the primes, and now it makes a little more sense. Gavin’s wife believes he’s still in there - they have no idea how it works. They are blind to the fact that hosts are murdered and replaced with chips. Their society assumes the primes are reborn within the eligible bodies - that the primes are indeed gods.

Applause to Raven this episode. Sure, she wasn’t a centerpiece, but her actions saved the day. Her asking Kane about the acceptance of his new body set they’re whole plan in motion. I’m also glad that she acknowledges helping Abby as a mistake, which shows that she does question her own moral compass, unlike previous episodes.

Talk about great platonic relationships - Kane and Indra are one of my favorites. Their deep level of respect for each other is always a pleasure to witness. Indra is and always has been a strong and supportive character. She explains why the Sanctum lifestyle is not much different than their own but Kane has changed, he condemns all their previous actions and convinces her to take the right path.

I knew Kane wouldn’t be happy with his new body, yet I didn’t expect the sacrifice. And once again well-done to the writers for giving him a heroic death and a heartwrenching sendoff. Say what you want, but someone needed to get rid of the nightblood serum and he used his new body for a good cause.

And now they have Simone as a hostage and a bargaining chip!

I won’t let you die  - was not what Bellamy should’ve said

I have no idea what to make of this. And I’m gonna go into a lot of detail with Bellarke tomorrow but it needs to be said that calling them besties is disturbing. Josephine tells Bellamy that he’s killing all three of them including his friends and asks if Clarke is really worth it. He doesn’t respond, but struggles with the decision. Because even though he knows she’s trying to break him, it’s true.

One question, why do they keep using the word ‘care’? “... unless someone you care about is in trouble, then you do what has to be done.” Do best friends not love each other? I love mine, very much. Monty and Jasper loved each other and acknowledged it, why not here?

Josephine then calls him out on caring more about Clarke. This is a circus. It’s hurting both Bellamy and Echo’s characters. Echo is a spy, smart and witty, yet she hasn’t questioned his ‘dedication’ to Clarke once. I know she’s not the jealous type, but if Josie, Jordan and 90% of the viewers see it, she must surely notice it too. And her being all acceptive is not believable.

Not to mention it’s making Bellamy look like an ass for abandoning all his friends and his girlfriend (who is supposed to be his first priority) to save his ‘bestie’.

So, Josephine is still in love with Gabriel? Wow, wasn’t expecting that one. Which results in Diyoza being wrong about her just looking to get laid and ultimately about “The hostage-taker and his girlfriend.”

And Clarke Griffin has a sense of humor. B-O-O-H-O-O! Loved that little morse code line. But the “I won’t let you die” afterward, is bs. The intensity in that scene is palpable. He looks at her with so much compassion when he finds out she can hear him like there’s so much he wants to say. “I love you.” for one? I believe he realizes she might die and wants to, but decides he won’t let it happen and tells her that instead. It’s so sincere, that it scares Josephine.

Again, the term ‘besties’ is frustrating as hell. Well, they are, I guess. It just gives me the idea that the writers have decided to go the Harry-Hermione route with them. Wasting six seasons of development and immense potential in the process. But while they’re both breathing, I’ll still have hope.

Badass Clarke is the absolute freakin’ best. Taking down three people by herself, teaching herself to drive a motorcycle and speak Mandarin via Josie’s mind - Standing ovation.

Once again we see Bellarke’s bond when Clarke refuses to leave without Bellamy and he, in turn, refuses to let her stay - just let it be for heaven’s sake.

Let me know what you think. See you tomorrow!

[bugheadfamily]

Bughead Family Discord Member Spotlight

This Halloween week the spotlight is on our spooky admin, Tori ( @tory-b  )! Click the read more link below to get to know our member!

Spotlight by Mila, @jughead-jones | Graphic by Katie, @betty-cooper

Tori | @tory-b

Name: Tory or Tori

Age: 21 (but only for a few more months!)

Location: Western US

Any other languages aside from English people can contact you in?: I can read basic Japanese and German. I won’t be able to communicate well but I have like some understanding. (I’m just really bad at languages I’m sorry universe, i want to be good at them)

Favourite Riverdale characters and ships?: BUGHEAD! Jughead Jone is my son, I love that boy. But I’m also a big Archie girl you know? Like just in the ‘he is my big dumb son and he just needs to be protected at all costs.’ I’d probably kill for a Jarchie person.

Favourite moments from S1 & S2?: There are so many it makes it hard to choose from you know? But S1: the iconic “hey there, Juliet, nurse off duty” is just like…so cheesy and soft it makes it hard to not just be utterly in love with that big dork. S2: When Archie cuts Jughead’s chains in front of the building, and they have that shot where the chains are falling away and he looks just like a fucking mythical fallen angel. That moment is so powerful between the boys, but it’s also just such a beautiful image on screen. Like Riverdale’s cinematography is eh on the best of days but in that moment like wow just absolutely WOW

What are your hopes for S3?: All my hopes and dreams look like they’re coming true and I could cry. Betty has a therapist! Bughead is investigating! Josie is getting more SCREEN TIME. I really do want more Cheryl/Betty friendship moments but I’m not sure if we’ll get them. I’d also love a Jug/Cheryl friendship moment. Also if we could get our Jarchie kiss.

Other fandoms you’re into?: I was in the Miraculous Ladybug fandom for a little while, and the Voltron fandom for some time after that. I just kind of commit to like one fandom or I’ll be dead.

What are some of your favourite movies/TV?: My other go-to show right now (I’ve been rewatching) is RuPaul’s Drag Race because I’m Reality TV Trash. My favorite movie is tricky. I always tell my mom that I don’t watch many movies because I like that TV can show longer more complex plots than movies.

Favourite books?: Fever 1793 was my favorite growing up and sometimes I’ll still read through and cry like a fucking baby even though I know how it goes. I love historical fiction. BUT my absolute FAVORITE book is Crime and Punishment by Dostoevsky.

Favourite bands/musicians?: It is I, your friendly admin hipster who has a lot of vinyl, and my fave bands are Panic! At the Disco, Walk the Moon, and the 1975. Also I listen to an absurd amount of broadway musicals because I’m a theatre nerd through and through.

If you could live in any fictional world which one would you choose and why?: I was gonna say Riverdale but I don’t want to chances of me getting murdered to jump up to an absurd amount. I’m small and meek I’d die like Midge. Maybe the Miraculous Ladybug’s Paris because it’s soft and even if I get turned into a bad guy no one hates me and I get a cool costume.

Favourite food?: Strawberries! Specifically Strawberry Shortcake but anything with strawberries on it.

Favourite season?: Winter or Fall! Spring is amazing but it makes me sneeze because allergies.

Favourite plant?: Sunflowers!

Favourite scent?: Lime! It’s clean and fresh.

Favourite colour?: Pastels. Pink, blue, yellow!

Favourite animal?: Doggos! (I’d say cats but i’m terribly allergic to cats even though I love them).

Are you a night owl, an early bird, or a vampire?: My sleep schedule is garbage. I am a night owl who works early morning shifts and is forced to be an early bird.

Place you want to visit?: I want to visit more of europe, specifically France, see more of England, and very much Japan!

Do you have pets? If you do, tell us a little about them: I do have pets! I’ve got my sweet little Poppy. She’s a rescue mutt who I got on my 13th birthday. She’s probably 11-12 right now but none of us have an idea. She’s so soft and beautiful but she is absolutely a little bitch. I go to college so whenever I come home for holidays, she stares at me like I’ve just utterly offended her and turns away. She’s a Princess who is utterly spoiled.

Tell us a little about yourself?: Oh gosh. I’m not sure what to say in this really. I’m graduating a semester early with a double major in Psychology and Anthropology, which I think is really cool, even though I have no idea what I’m going to do with that frankly. I moved a lot growing up because my mom can’t stay still. I’ve got this skin condition called vitiligo so lots of my body doesn’t have pigment!

Fun or weird fact about you?: I can’t properly scowl. Like bring my eyebrows together. I have no idea why.

Asks for fanfic authors:

How long have you been writing?: Oh gosh. So I’ve been writing in notebooks since I was like 5, but I posted my first ever fanfiction (did you mean that Harry Potter fic I posted that I like to ignore?) when I was 10 or 11? I quit writing publicly from about 12 until…I was like 20?

Which is your favourite of the fics you’ve written?: One Last Chance. It was 12k of really just emotional catharsis. I cried while writing it and it just felt so good to write it. Whenever I read it I just smile because I think ‘wow i can’t believe I’m the person who wrote this’.

Favourite fic/chapter/plot-point/character you’ve ever written?: The plot points in What Happened on Elm Street are my favorite because they’re so twisty and turny!

Which was the hardest to write, and why?: What Happened on Elm Street is very difficult to write for me. It’s super complex and I can only give away a little at a time to keep some of the mystery in it. So I have to think a lot for each word I write.

How do you come up with the ideas for you fic(s)? (examples: Do you draw inspiration from real life? Listen to music? Get inspired by TV/movies?) Do you have an process to your writing?: It’s a combination of everything! It’s real life in some ways, like my college experiences, or with songs, like my oneshot I Hate Love Songs! It all depends. Sometimes it just comes to me, like I’ll be watching a movie and I go ‘yes!’.

Idea that you always wanted to write?: A Zombie Apocalypse AU. SO BADLY. But I don’t think it would be very popular, so I always sort of hang back and don’t write it even though I kind of have the first chapter of a WIP written for it. I just love that kind of angst and fear.

Favourite character to write?: Cheryl fucking Blossom. She is just…I love writing all her wittiness! Also apparently Jughead? Since all of my writing has been through Jughead’s POV lately.

Best comment/review you’ve ever received?: So I received a comment on the first chapter of 101 Ways and it was just “DOGGIES” which made me laugh out loud> I also had someone (her name is Cat, she’s an admin, not sure if you’ve heard of her) tell me she cried into her Taco Bell reading One Last Chance. That was iconic.

Best and worst parts of being a writer?: Best parts are absolutely getting to stretch my creativity. I have a lot of ideas and writing is just such a cathartic thing for me. Writing makes me feel unburdened and free and that means a lot to me. I use my writing to cope with some of my anxiety and depression, because I feel good about words and how well I can manipulate them. Worst: That fear. That constant fear of not being enough. Of not being as good. Of comparison. It comes with fandom culture I think, this need to compare yourself to other people. I don’t ever mean to do it, but I can feel it happening sometimes. I love being able to learn from other writers by reading things and being encouraged to experiment, but perhaps it’s just who I am but I do have a problem with comparison.

Do you have any advice to offer?: Experiment experiment experiment! If you like something in another person’s writing, like a certain style, how they use metaphors, etc, there’s nothing wrong with adopting things you like and evolving you're writing based on what you like to read. It’s so important to keep changing and evolving and the only way you can do that is by trying new things!

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This is the fifteenth instalment of Bughead Family’s Member Spotlight series. Each week, a member’s url is selected through a randomizer and they will be featured in a spotlight post. In order to participate, please join the Bughead Discord (more information found here). Thank you.

[urwarriorangel]

<3 urwarriorangel’s writing challenge <3

hello my darling angels! i have started a writing challenge because i want to read more of what you write. i’m calling this a challenge because that’s what i’ve read others call it? rules are listed below! all submissions will be read by yours truly and (if they follow the p basic rules) i will post them all on a masterlist! i will reblog them and give you feedback because that’s what should happen regardless and also i love you guys! (gif not mine!)

rules

*no rape/incest/underage sex/etc.

*if you choose to write smut, you must be 18+!!! the characters you’re writing for must be 18+!!

*must be character x reader! you can write for multiple characters, but it still must be a reader insert!

*it’s first come first serve for characters, meaning there are character limits. multiple people can write for the same character, but they are capped. so please message me as soon as you see a character you want to write for!

*only one prompt per fic! (bonus points if you use any of my original prompts lol!) (also prompts can only be used once)

*triggers must be tagged. if there are any triggers in your fic, you must have a trigger warning. i cannot emphasize this enough.

*fic should be at least 500 words, if it’s longer (which please make it as long as you’d like!) you have to add a ‘read more’

*must tag me in the fic and use # urwarriorangelwritingchallenge <3

*fic should be a new original, not an old piece being resubmitted or a part of an already existing series. (you can write a series for this challenge if you’d like!)

*bonus points if you’re a poc!writer with a poc!reader <3 <3 <3

*you must respect the sexuality of the character! if you would like for an lgbtq+ character, their sexuality should not change in the fic. thank you!

*please send me a message with the character(s) you’d like to write for and the prompt!

example: damon salvatore + “i don’t know how much longer i can go on”

~the masterlist will be posted on august 13th! (if this goes well aka if people participate i would love to do this more often!)~

categories allowed:

anything your heart desires. if you’re going to write fluff please keep it compelling! add a few different styles together! give me some angst, some smut. make it a mystery! i mean absolutely no disrespect to those who write/read only fluff, but personally i find fluff a little more fun when it’s got multiple components! (if you write only fluff, please go ahead and write fluff! i will read it and i’m sure i’ll love it! these are just my personal preferences!)

i love aus very much, so please don’t shy away from them!

characters & prompts under the cut!

characters (five slots for each character)

agents of shield

al mackenzie antoine “trip” triplett daisy “skye” johnson grant ward jemma simmons lance hunter leopold fitz lincoln campbell

brooklyn 99

amy santiago charles boyle gina linetti jake peralta raymond holt rosa diaz terrence jeffords

buffy the vampire slayer

angel buffy summers cordelia chase rupert giles william the bloody aka spike

criminal minds

aaron hotchner david rossi derek morgan elle greenaway emily prentiss jennifer jareau luke alvez penelope garcia spencer reid

defenders-ish

billy russo frank castle jessica jones luke cage matt murdock

friends

chandler bing joey tribbiani monica geller phoebe buffay rachel green ross geller

game of thrones

arya stark benjen stark daenerys targaryen eddard stark jaime lannister jon snow khal drogo robb stark samwell tarly sansa stark tyrion lannister

gossip girl

blair waldorf carter baizen chuck bass dan humphrey nate archibald serena van der woodsen vanessa abrams

harry potter

draco malfoy fred weasley george weasley harry potter hermione granger remus lupin ronald weasley sirius black (young) tom riddle

hawaii five-0

adam noshimuri chin ho kelly daniel williams kono kalakaua michael noshimuri steve mcgarrett

jane the virgin

adam alvaro jane gloriana villanueva petra solano rafael solano

lucky number slevin

slevin kelevra

mcu

bruce banner aka hulk brunnhilde aka my valkyrie queen bucky barnes aka winter soldier clint barton aka hawkeye drax aka the destroyer erik stevens aka killmonger gamora aka um need we say more? janet van dyne aka wasp loki aka loki m’baku aka you already know mantis aka mantis aka a fucking cutie may parker aka ailf nakia aka loml okoye aka incredible badass peggy carter aka kickass peter parker aka spider-man peter quill aka star-lord pietro maximoff aka quicksilver sam wilson aka falcon scott lang aka antman shuri aka an angel stephen strange aka dr. strange steve rogers aka captain america t’challa aka black panther thor aka thor tony stark aka iron-man wanda maximoff aka scarlet witch

new girl

coach nick miller

pretty little liars

aria montgomery caleb rivers emily fields ezra fitz hanna marin jason dilaurentis mona vanderwaal noel kahn spencer hastings wren kingston

reign

francis mary stuart nostradamus sebastian

riverdale

archie andrews betty cooper cheryl blossom fangs fogarty fp jones fred andrews jason blossom josie mccoy jughead jones kevin keller malachai charles!reggie mantle ross!reggie mantle sweet pea toni topaz valerie brown veronica lodge

shadowhunters

alec lightwood clary fray isabelle lightwood jace herondale lucian grey magnus bane simon lewis

teen wolf

allison argent chris argent cora hale derek hale isaac lahey jackson whittermore jordan parrish kira yukimura liam dunbar lydia martin malia tate peter hale scott mccall stiles stilinski theo raeken

the 100

bellamy blake clarke griffin echo finn collins jasper jordan john murphy king roan lexa lincoln monty green nathan miller octavia blake ontari raven reyes wells jaha

the originals

davina claire elijah mikaelson freya mikaelson hayley marshall kol mikaelson lucian castle niklaus mikaelson marcel gerard rebekah mikaelson

the vampire diaries

bonnie bennett caroline forbes damon salvatore elena gilbert jeremy gilbert katherine pierce malachi parker mary louise matt donovan nora hildegard olivia parker tyler lockwood stefan salvatore sybil

x-men

alex summers aka havok charles xavier aka young!professor x erik lehnsherr aka magneto hank mccoy aka beast jean grey aka phoenix logan aka wolverine peter maximoff aka quiksilver ororo monroe aka storm raven darkholme aka mystique

prompts (once someone requests a prompt, i will update the list! list will be updated once a day, if multiple people ask for a prompt in between updates, i will give it to the first person who sent me an ask. i realize that there are more character options than there are prompts, i did this because i don’t think too many people will participate. if we ever run out, i will add more prompts! example of request: klaus mikaelson + “give me a chance”)

(rfaimagining)

angst

1: “ give me a chance. ”

2: “ not you again.. ”

3: “ leave me alone. ”

4: “ i don’t love you anymore. ”

5: “ why do you hate me? ”

6: “ i lost the baby. ”

7: “ i thought you loved me. ”

8: “ i don’t need you anymore. ”

9:“ i can’t believe you! ”

10: “ we can't keep this up forever. ”

11: “ you’re a monster. ”

12: “ i hate you. ”

13: “ don’t leave me… ”

14: “ you’re a disappointment. ”

15: “ don’t die on me– please. ”

16: “ i never meant to hurt you. ”

17: “ are you upset with me? ”

18: “ i wish i’d never met you. ”

19: “ i’m going to kill you! ”

20: “ please don’t hurt me like this. ”

21: “ thanks for nothing. ”

22: “ dont call this number again. “

23: “ why did you spare me? ”

24: “ you need to leave. ”

25: “ i’m sick. ”

26: “ i’m dying. ”

27: “ i wish i’d never met you. ”

28: “ i thought we were family!”

29: “ there was never an us. ”

30: “ so that’s it? it’s over? ”

31: “ i fucked up. ”

32: “ i came to say goodbye. ”

33:“ he’s dead because of you. ”

34: “ i don’t deserve to be loved. ”

35: “ about the baby… its yours. ”

love

36: “ i’m so in love with you. ”

37: “ dance with me! ”

38: “ isn’t this amazing? ”

39: “ i wish we could stay like this forever. ”

40: “ will you marry me? ”

41: “ i’m pregnant. ”

42: “ i need a hug. ”

43: “ you’re special to me. ”

44: “ i’m going to keep you safe. ”

45: “ do you trust me? ”

46: “ can i kiss you right now? ”

47: “ you’re cute when you’re angry. ”

48: “ i’ve liked you for awhile now. ”

49: “ let’s have a baby. ”

50: “ we’d make such a cute couple. ”

51: “ i want to take care of you. ”

52: “ can we cuddle? ”

53: “ it’s lonely here without you. ”

54: “ i can’t stand the thought of losing you. ”

55: “ shut up and kiss me already. ”

56: “ are you flirting with me? ”

57: “ is that my shirt? ”

58: “ how did we get here? ”

59: “ you own my heart. ”

60: “ you’d be a great dad. ”

61: “ you’d be a great mom. ”

62: “ i want to protect you. ”

63: “ what's the matter? ”

64: “ you’re so beautiful. ”

65: “ did you do something different with your hair? ”

66: “ is that a new perfume? ”

67: “ stop being so cute. ”

68: “ you’re making me blush! ”

69: “ you’re teasing me again… ”

70: “ this is why i fell in love with you. ”

71: “ you’re the best! ”

72: “ they’re going to love you, don’t worry! ”

73: “ oh, are you ticklish? ”

74: “ of course i remembered! ”

75: “ you’re one hell of a girl. ”

76: “ you’re one hell of a guy. ”

77: “ are you jealous? ”

78: “ hold me and never let me go. ”

79: “ stop hogging all the blankets! ”

80: “ lets run away together. ”

misc

90: “ catch me if you can! ”

91: “ i’m fine. ”

92: “ are you drunk? ”

93: “ are you high? ”

94: “ we can't go in there… ”

95: “ give it back! ”

96: “ well this is just great. ”

97: “ don’t touch me. ”

98: “ not sure if you could tell, but i’m not exactly a people person. ”

99: “ this was fun— let's do it again sometime!”

100: “ i didn’t do it! ”

101: “ i did it… ”

102: “ i don’t remember that! ”

103: “ well that’s pretty rude of you to say. ”

104: “ get that thing away from me! ”

105: “ you owe me. ”

106: “ do you believe in aliens? ”

107: “ do you believe in ghosts? ”

108: “ are you hitting on me? ”

109: “ why are you naked? ”

110: “ you did what?! ”

111: “ you have… superpowers? ”

112: “ why are you bleeding? ”

113: “ where did all these puppies come from?”

114: “ don’t make me come over there myself! ”

115: “ that wasn’t funny. ”

116: “ this tastes horrible. ”

117: “ this is delicious! ”

118: “ are you mad at me? ”

119: “ stop ignoring me… ”

120: “ i love that show too! ”

121: “ can i borrow that book of yours?”

122: “ let's blow this joint. ”

123: “ let me help you with that. ”

124: “ take that back! ”

125: “ wanna go see a movie with me? ”

126: “ no way, that’s so lame. ”

127: “ what are you listening to? ”

128: “ i brought you your coffee. ”

129: “ don’t fuck this up. ”

130: “ run! ”

131: “ lets run away together. ”

132: “ i haven’t slept in four days… ”

133: “ your turn to do the dishes. ”

134: “ was i really that drunk? ”

135: “ was i really that stoned? ”

136: “give me back my phone! ”

137: “ you’re an asshole. ”

138: “ are you cold? ”

139: “ this place gives me the creeps. ”

140: “ i swear my house is haunted. ”

141: “ did you hear that? ”

142: “ it’s just your imagination. ”

143: “ just how stupid do you think i am? ”

144: “ stop being such a baby. ”

145: “ go back to bed. ”

146: “ are you okay? ”

147: “ i can take care of myself just fine.”

148: “ thanks for helping me back there. ”

149: “ since when have we ever been friends? ”

150: “ what on earth are you wearing? ”

151: “ i can’t feel my legs! ”

152: “ stop texting me weird stuff so late at night. ”

153: “ put me down! ”

154: “ there’s only one bed… ”

155: “ it isn’t what it looks like! okay.. maybe it is… ”

156: “ how did i lose it? ”

157: “ i read your diary. ”

158: “ this is awkward. ”

159: “ didn’t you read the sign? ”

160: “ do you think you can teach me that? ”

nsfw

161: “ bite me. ”

162: “ make me. ”

163: “ fuck me. ”

164: “ stop teasing me so much… ”

165: “ do you like it when i touch you like that?”

166: “ okay.. this is new. ”

167: “ want to head back to my place and have a little fun? ”

168: “ you’re in trouble now. ”

169: “ what a pretty sight. ”

170: “ bend over. ”

171: “ on your knees. ”

172: “ the food looks great but.. there’s something much more delicious i’d like to eat right now. ”

173: “ lay back. ”

174: “ take off your clothes. ”

175: “ well, fine; just this once. ”

176: “ i’m waiting. ”

177: “ you’re so beautiful. ”

178:“ as you wish. ”

179: “ first one to make a noise loses.”

180: “ you have no idea what you do to me. ”

181: “ if you’re bored; wanna have sex? ”

182: “ i've wanted this for so long. ”

183: “ car sex looks so much more easier in the movies. ”

184: “ can i touch you? ”

185: “ open up. ”

186: “ no strings attached. ”

187: “ already? do i really have that much of an effect on you? ”

188: “ mine. ”

189: “ the nights still young. ”

190: “ we can't do that here! ”

191: “ behave. ”

192:“ what did you just say? ”

193: “ good girl. ”

194: “ good boy. ”

195: “ come here. ”

continued nsfw from misc sources

196: “are you going to come here, or are you going to make me come get you myself?”

197: “don’t look at me like that, you brought this on yourself.”

198: “stay still, squirming will make it worse.”

199: “keep count. if you lose it, we’re starting over. understand?”

200: “go get me the cane.”

201: “take your shirt off and put your hands up against the wall.”

202: “open your mouth. i’m putting the gag in so your screaming won’t alarm someone.”

203: “did you disobey my orders?”

204: “i thought i told you not to touch that?”

205: “have you finished everything i told you to do?”

206: “if you don’t stop acting like this, i’ll be forced to use different tactics.”

207: “your skin turns so red under my palm.”

208: “bend over the back of the couch.”

209: “you might want to bite something, the whip has a bite to it.”

210: “come here and bend over my lap.”

211: “i’m tired of your smart mouth.”

212: “you’re really hot.”

213: “oh, don’t mind me. just enjoying the view.”

214: “you know, those/that ______ of yours are/is pretty distracting.”

215: “hot damn.”

216: “so, you come here often?”

217: “well, well. my night just got better.”

218: “is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

219: “you have got a great ass.”

220: “hey, i’m open minded.”

221: “you enjoying the view over there?”

222: “keep sweet-talking and this could go a whole new direction.”

223: “don’t be bashful. you know you want to.”

224: “you can have me any way you’d like, baby.”

225: “you wanna move this conversation someplace more private?”

226: “i’m off in a few minutes, you know.”

227:“it’s been a long day. why don’t we help each other unwind?”

228: “i think it’s about time we stop avoiding the obvious.”

229: “i’m gonna be honest with you. i’m really horny, and you’re really hot. can we fuck? like, now?”

230: “i wanna see you get naked.”

231: “you like how i bend over for you, huh?”

232: “you’re getting me all worked up.”

233: “what do we have here?”

234: "i see someone’s happy to see me.”

235: “play your cards right, and i just might have to put you on speed dial.”

236: “you like that, don’t you?”

237: “how do you want me?”

238: “i’m sure we can put those lips to better use.”

239: “i want you. right here. right now.”

240: “god, you’re perfect.”

241: “i really like a man who’s good with his hands.”

242: “i’d be more than happy to show you a good time, if you’re looking for one.”

243: “i saw that. you just checked me out.”

244: “you look real good in that suit/dress/skirt/outfit.”

245: “you wanna help me out of this ___?” (insert article clothing here.)

246: “can i keep you?”

247: “you’re such a tease.”

248: “oh my, looks like i/you dropped something.”

249: “i love it when you talk dirty.”

250: “i can’t stop thinking about your hands on me.”

251: “i think you’ll be happy to know that i’m not wearing any underwear.”

252: “i really want to take you home and get you out of all those clothes.”

253: “it’s like you want to ruin men/women for me.”

[thatbluegibson]

CH 41

“If it were any warmer, this would be Malibu,” Dave bent to pick up a shell at his feet before looking it over and handing it to Liz.

“What a fresh hell that would be,” she scrunched up her nose and looked down the beach, counting just a few other people with their dogs on the mile long stretch of sand. They were completely alone at the far sound end of the cape and a mild breeze came in off the waves, but it was warm enough to walk barefoot in the sand. Her phone buzzed in her back pocket and she pulled it free.

I’m so sorry. I didn’t know he would go straight to the bar.

She sighed and tapped out a reply to Travis.

It’s fine. I just wasn’t expecting him. We’re cool.

Liz put her phone in her sweatshirt pocket when Dave bumped his shoulder into hers. “Travis says he’s sorry,” she said.

Dave shrugged and looked over her head to the rock sea wall behind her. “If you weren’t in any danger then he has nothing to be sorry for, right? Isn’t that all he signed up for?”

Liz was surprised he understood the situation so well when she barely grasped it herself, “Are you my voice of reason now?”

“I’m just saying that if you have that reaction every time you’re around the guy you’re supposed to be co-parenting with, I’m going to die an early death. A very happy early death, but early all the same.”

She flipped the shell he had given her around her fingers, smiling at his words. “I just wasn’t prepared for it,” she muttered. It wasn’t the sight of Kyle that freaked her out as much as it was him seeing her with Dave. She wasn’t ready to have the ‘who is he to you’ conversation with someone she had been devoted to for an entire decade and she wasn’t even sure what Dave was to her. After the night before, she felt like they had evolved into something more than whatever it was they had in LA, but it had been so long since she had dated that she wasn’t sure what exactly it was. On top of all that, she didn’t know how Kyle would react to her moving on. It had always been Kyle leaving her for someone else that inevitably lasted a couple weeks, maybe a month before he came back and she stupidly let him back in. And Kyle had a bit of a temper when he felt threatened which Liz was really trying to avoid. 

“Is that a ship wreck?”

Dave’s question pulled Liz from her thoughts and she looked up as they approached a point in the cape that reached out into the sea making a natural sea wall between two beaches. The tide was receding, revealing several blackened tree stumps in the water.  

“That’s the ghost forest. We only get to see it when a bad storm comes through,” she turned back to the rock point and looked for any signs of storm damage.

“A shipwreck would have been cooler,” Dave replied, turning away from the waves to put his arms around Liz.

She leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder, “Those tree stumps are 4,000 years old! There’s a wreck just north of here, but a storm is coming.”

Dave looked out to the clear, bright horizon, “I think whoever predicts the weather smokes far too much weed.”

“Give me his number so I can send him some product,” Liz mumbled into his sweatshirt before looking up at him, “For real, we should head back.”

*

“How the hell did you know a storm was coming?” Dave yelled over the wind as they ran up the steps to her house.

She unlocked the door and hurried inside, rain dripping from her clothes as she flipped on the gas fireplace. “My collarbone was screaming at me,” she grimaced, rubbing her shoulder a bit. “Doesn’t your leg hurt when the weather is about to change?”

“I guess it hurts a little, but I figured it was from walking, you weirdo,” he peeled off his soaked sweatshirt, giving her a quizzical look.

“I was told it’s something to do with the pressure in the air, but I like to think that the guy that my bone graft came from was a meteorologist,” she laughed a little and jumped when large gust of wind crashed against the house.

“You have a dead guy’s bone in your body?”

“That’s what she said,” she grinned and grabbed his sweatshirt from him, crossing the tile floor to the hallway that the laundry room was in.

Twenty minutes later they were bundled into her bed in their underwear, listening to the wind and rain outside while Dave flipped through the channels on the TV.

“Ugh,” Liz grumbled as her face briefly flashed across the screen.

“Ooo what does the outer world have to say about you today?” Dave teased, flipping the channel back. She lunged for the remote, but he held it above his head and out of her reach as video clips of Liz on various red carpets and in interviews played in rapid succession.

After finalizing her divorce in May of last year, she was seen cozying up with several different men throughout the summer…

“Slut,” Liz grumbled sarcastically as a series of candid photos of her in various social situations vaguely near another famous human male appeared.

Ben Affleck

“Producer of the last movie I was in and also, no thank you,” she shook her head, annoyed.

Chris Pratt

“I buy beef from his ranch... not a euphemism.”

Jason Momoa

“Fuck, I wish,” Liz laughed when Dave glared at her.

Aaron Rodgers

“He bought me a drink and I told him Russell Wilson is my favorite quarterback.”

Valentino Rossi

“His interpreter didn’t believe me when I said I ride and I almost fought him.”

The pictures then changed from candids to two separate photos stitched together and Liz rolled her eyes, “Now they’re just grasping.”

Leonardo DiCaprio

“I’ve literally never even met that man.”

Harry Styles

“I… don’t know who that is.”

Pictures of Liz and Johnny at their many Disney premieres scrolled by.

But the actor and sometimes rocker that claimed most of her attention last summer seems to have fallen out of favor for a different rock star…

A grainy cell phone shot of Liz and Josie staring up at the stage at Dave’s show appeared, then immediately changed to a blaring commercial. Liz looked up at Dave, but his eyes were glued to the screen.

“And here I thought my only competition was Radar,” he muttered, flopping back against the headboard.

“Please tell me you don’t honestly believe that dumpster fire of a show,” Liz said, sitting up on her knees beside him.

Dave just shook his head, but he was beginning to fully understand what Taylor had meant about the unwanted media attention. She was a big deal right now, one of the most sought after celebrities and her disappearing from LA the week before the fucking Oscars only made the media more blood thirsty. It wouldn’t be long before they were pounding on his door asking about her.

“That,” Liz jabbed a finger towards the flat screen mounted on her bedroom wall, “is not me. That’s not anybody. They have twenty four hours of air time to fill so they make shit up.”

“I know.”

“So stop looking at me like that.”

He again remained silent as the commercials ended and Liz’s picture popped back up on the screen.

… Colbert seemingly left the Hollywood rebel in the dust while falling into the arms of the ‘Nicest Guy in Rock’

A picture of Liz and Depp on set gave way to a closely cropped version of the picture of Dave and Liz in the hotel lobby before Liz gently took the remote from Dave’s hand.

No sightings of Colbert as Oscar week heats up and sources say she’s hiding out to prepare for her next big role which is already generating Oscar buzz for next year. Here’s hoping the Best Actress favorite appears before they announce her name on the big night.

“I’m quitting the industry,” she said quietly, pressing the mute button.

Dave felt his heart skip a little, “What? Why?”

“I hate it. I hate that,” Liz tilted her head towards the TV, now displaying paparazzi shots of Dave and Liz leaving the show on Saturday, her neck still streaked with red scratches. “I like acting, but it’s not worth it.”

“What about all the projects you have coming up?”

“Most of them are so far out that I can bail without legal consequences, but I have hard commitments to the next three films.”

“And how long will that take?”

“At least a year and a half,” she sighed, leaning back against the headboard next to him. 

“Principle photography starts in London in three weeks on the first one, the other two are in Vancouver.” She looked over at him when he remained silent. “And you? Any big plans?”

“Just my usual post-album depressive state. Taylor, Chris and Nate have other projects lined up, so we’re on hiatus for a bit.”

“You’re breaking my little fan girl heart, Dave,” she cried, clutching her chest with a smile. 

“It’s fine. I’ll take the girls to Disneyland every other day and pretend like it isn’t eating my soul from the inside out.”

“Hey, those soul sucking Disney trips paid for this house!” Liz laughed. She was happy to change the subject, but didn’t like where this was headed. 

Dave looked down at the sheets between them. “I’ll probably write, maybe call Josh and Jones to do something,” he shrugged.

“Dave,” Liz said, suddenly serious, “Are you telling me you’re making another Vulture’s album?”

He looked over at her, a shadow of a smile on his face, “You’ll have to force that one out of me.”

Liz narrowed her eyes at him, “Challenge accepted.” She slid off the bed and disappeared in the walk in closet, returning a moment later and tossing a small bag and lighter onto the sheets next to Dave.

He picked it up and suspiciously eyed the professional packaging, “Selkirk Cannabis Company.”

 She climbed back into bed and sat across from him, taking the bag from his hands and tearing it open. “This is a late season harvest,” she mumbled, slipping the joint between her lips and lighting it. She inhaled slowly before handing it back to Dave.

He stared at it for a moment before laughing a little, “The last time I smoked, Taylor fucking Swift had to come save my ass.”

Liz exhaled sharply with a smile before taking the joint back from him. “I heard about that,” she mumbled, her voice a little raspy from the smoke and crawled up the bed until she was inches from his face. “She’s a customer of mine,” she said, slipping her arm around his neck and taking another long drag.

“She smoked out Bieber that night,” Dave replied distractedly, his eyes focused on her lips. He was fascinated with how she could go from adorable to seductive so quickly.

Liz smiled and dipped her head, shotgunning her drag to Dave. He pulled her closer as soon as their lips met, running his hands up the backs of her thighs.

“I can almost guarantee it was my weed she did it with,” Liz said when she pulled away, smiling when Dave took the joint from her hand.

He took another drag, tasting her vanilla chapstick on the paper and leaned back against the headboard, “So how does one grow good weed?”

Liz shrugged. “Years of trial and error, I guess. It all comes down to sex.”

Dave’s eyebrows shot up and he coughed a little, “What?”

“Female plants produce the bud and what they want is a male plant to send them some pollen, so they produce more sticky resin to try and capture any that might be floating through the air.”

“O… kay?” Dave took another drag, trying to follow along.

“So I did a little experiment in college and found out that if you have a male plant nearby, but not close enough to pollinate, the female plant goes crazy and produces more and more resin. Therefore, sexual frustration equals great product.”

“Very scientific,” he replied, already feeling his head swimming a little.

“If you call a bunch of broke and stoned college kids scientific,” she laughed, watching his eyes close just slightly. “You ready to tell me about that album yet?”

“I’m not saying a word,” he laughed.

“Oh, no?” Liz smiled and took the joint from his hand, leaning over to set it on a glass tray on the nightstand before reaching back and unsnapping her bra. She slowly pulled the straps off her arms, holding the fabric to her chest to keep it from falling, “How about now?”

He grinned and shook his head slowly, relaxing back into the bed. His smile faded as she tossed her bra aside and his hands shot up to touch her, but she grabbed his wrists to stop him. Her slow smile returned and she kissed him lightly before snaking her way down his body. Dave sat perfectly still in Liz’s bed, his eyes wide and staring straight ahead at the fireplace mantle as he felt her hand slip into his boxers and her hot breath against him, “We’re making another Vulture’s record.”

[digging-holes-in-the-river]

Last night I finished episode 15 in the new Twin Peaks. Here are some thoughts on the series so far (planning to watch episode 16 and the finale tonight):

I seem to be enjoying this less than everyone else is? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m glad I’m watching the show. But I’m not as excited about it as all my friends are. This same thing happened with the eclipse. I think I’m just a big complainer who’s bad at appreciating things. :P

Part of my problem, as mentioned earlier, is that it’s just really slow-paced. And maybe this makes me an unsophisticated film-viewer, but I get pretty bored during the pauses. I get extremely bored during all the music scenes in the Roadhouse, but I can’t just skip past them, because something actually plot-related might happen. And, like, I am not a person who needs everything to be super fast-paced all the time. 2001: A Space Odyssey is one of my favorite movies. But I wish the new Twin Peaks went a little faster.

I was also frustrated, for a while, by how little character development there was. It seemed like we were shown all these new characters, but we didn’t actually get to see what any of them were like. Like, we spent a while watching Ray and Darya, but we never really got to know them as people; we never learned how they got involved with the evil Cooper, or what personality traits they have aside from “being a criminal”. (Hutch and Chantal seem to have more personality though.) We also saw Becky, at the beginning, but we didn’t learn anything about her other than the fact that she was in a bad relationship, so it was hard for me to care very much about her.

I’ve also had a lot of trouble keeping the characters and the storylines straight. Part of this, for sure, is that I’m really bad with faces -- I didn’t realize Dr. Amp was Jacoby for most of the show. And with so many random people appearing (like all those women in conversations at the roadhouse), it’s hard to keep everything straight. And there’s so many storylines -- all the main storylines, plus all the little snakes’ hands that may or may not be relevant to the overall plot. A million people have been trying to kill the real Cooper, and I assume the evil Cooper is behind all of it, but it’s been hard to keep track. Anyway, this seems like a personal failing on my part, not a failing of the show, and I think I’ll get more out of it when I watch it for a second time (which I presumably will someday).

Anyway I’ve liked the show a lot more since episode 13 or so. I feel like we’ve actually gotten to know a lot of the new characters, and we’ve gotten more insight into what the old characters are up to (instead of just these brief unexplanatory glimpses into their lives). And it feels a bit faster paced now too. And it stopped doing all the stupid humor that I hate.

I’ll stop complaining now.

Thoughts on general themes:

So much of the show revolves around this battle between pure good and pure evil. I guess the original show had that too, with the black and white lodges, but I didn’t notice it as much. But in the reboot, there’s a lot more purely evil characters (evil Cooper, Richard, and all the criminals we’ve run into, where we haven’t learned anything about them except that they’re criminals). In general, I’m not a big fan of the Absolute Cosmic Struggle between Good and Evil, and I find purely evil villains kind of boring. I don’t believe in absolute good or evil; I think that, in real life, there are moral grey areas to everything, and even really serious criminals have understandable motivations behind their actions. And I mean, it’s not like the black-and-white morality ruins Twin Peaks for me. It’s just something I found striking, since it’s not a literary device I find very believable.

On the other hand, I love how ambiguous the entire show has been about whose side the supernatural characters are on. The black lodge is supposed to be evil, but a lot of black lodge inhabitants (like MIKE and the Arm) help Cooper, right? The Giant / Fireman seems unambiguously good but the rest seem more questionable.

I looooove all the scenes in the black lodge and other related places. My favorite black lodge character is the Giant but I also love the weird-noises girl with no eyes. (I wasn’t expecting them to find her at Jack Rabbit’s Palace. I was expecting them to find Major Briggs’s head. Will we ever find out what happened to Major Briggs’s head?)

I love that it’s not just the red room, and we get to see all these different supernatural places. In the original series, it felt like the red room was fairly small and self-contained. But now it seems like there’s a whole nother realm (or several realms) interpenetrating our own. It gives such a sense of bigness and mystery. There’s no way we can learn what all of it means in just the next few episodes. It would take movie after movie to explain everything (if it’s even comprehensible to the human mind). The show just gives this really strong impression that the universe is stranger and more complicated that we usually give it credit for.

ETA: How on earth can Diane be sisters with Janey without having noticed the weird similarity between Dougie and Cooper? Diane says she’s estranged from Janey, but she knows Dougie’s name. Is it possible that she’s never met Dougie or even seen a picture of him?

Thoughts on unresolved plot points from the previous series:

How did Audrey escape the bank? (I’m guessing evil Cooper went back, rescued her, and impregnated her with Richard? Though who knows.)

What happened to Windom Earle? I haven’t heard his name mentioned yet in the new season. (He wasn’t listed as one of the agents on the Blue Rose team, so what was his connection to Cooper and the black lodge?) Anyway what happened to him 25 years ago? I don’t remember the final episode well enough. Did he die in the black lodge? Did he get the power he was after?

What happened to Annie? Did she die? I heard some mention of Cooper returning from the lodge carrying her body, so I assume she died. (Did that happen in the final episode of season 2? I wish my memory didn’t suck.)

What happened to Josie Packard? Was she a doppelganger?

What ever happened to Leo?

Thoughts on specific characters:

I really like Dougie’s wife. I admire how strong and willful she is, and how she uses her willfullness to keep her life and her family from falling apart. She seems like a major source of stability, keeping everything functioning even despite Dougie’s gambling problems and tendency to disappear for three days. And she has a lot of balls, standing up to those money-collecting men who wanted $52k from Dougie.

Frank Truman is great. I love how patient he is (with his wife, with Andy and Lucy’s son, with Lucy telling him which line to press on the phone, etc.). His facial expressions convey a world-weariness and a frustration with all the things he has to put up with, but also, simultaneously, an enormous amount of affection for all the people he’s being patient towards. He just seems like a really kind, sturdy man. I’m glad Harry has such a good brother.

Gordon is so lecherous. He clearly respects Tammy Preston’s capabilities as an FBI agent but he also very clearly objectifies her. It’s unclear whether she’s bothered by it (or whether she’s into Gordon) because she has such a poker face. I feel like we know very little about Tammy Preston as a human being.

Albert is great.

Bobby is a police officer! I’m so proud of him. He grew up to be such a decent guy. (Did he ever confess to that murder he committed in high school? Does he still feel guilty about it, and like he’s hiding a really bad secret?) I take it his father’s death was what inspired him to turn his life around? I’m glad he and Shelley got married; they look really happy together. Also, Bobby is a really emotional guy. (This was true in the original series too, but I didn’t notice it as much, because his emotions were much more masculine-coded there. But in retrospect, he’s clearly always had really strong feelings that are hard for him to contain.)

James still hits on married women. Come on, James, seriously. (In the original series, he seemed like someone who believed in the Cosmic Power of Love, and that if he’s acting based on love of physical attraction, then it can’t be wrong or a bad idea. I’m not convinced he’s gotten over that.)

Where’s Donna? How’s she doing? I assume she moved away from Twin Peaks a long time ago?

Poor Sarah Palmer. :(

I was so surprised, in episode 15, to discover that Ed and Nadine were still together. I thought they got a divorce 25 years ago, and that Ed had married Norma! I thought Ed and Norma had been living together happily all this time. :(

How on earth did Audrey end up married to Charlie? She seems like she’s not doing very well.

ETA: Ben Horne has mellowed out! I mean, he’s clearly the same old Ben Horne, in terms of personality and mannerisms. But he turned down an affair with Beverly, and we haven’t seen any evidence that he’s still involved in organized crime.

I probably have more thoughts, but I’ll have to write them later, since this is all I could think of for now.

[lynchgirl90]

#TwinPeaks: Read Joan Chen's Pitch to David Lynch to Bring Back Josie

Chen, who played Josie Packard in the original 'Twin Peaks' run, is currently not set to reprise her role in Showtime's revival. However, that didn't stop her from pitching a possible return. 

Believe it or not, more than 200 actors are set to appear in the new Twin Peaks, including several familiar faces from the original run of the show. But there's one star who won't be back for the Showtime revival: Joan Chen — and she would like to change that.

Chen was one of the original stars of David Lynch's and Mark Frost's Twin Peaks, in which she appeared as Josie Packard, the unassuming Packard Sawmill owner who was involved in her own share of deadly secrets. Throughout her time on the show, Josie crossed paths with characters like her secret lover, Harry S. Truman (Michael Ontkean), and her chief business rival, Catherine Martell (Piper Laurie), both of whom also will not be returning. Chen reportedly wanted to be written out of the series to pursue other projects, and midway through season two, she got her wish.

In what remains one of the most bizarre scenes in the series (and that's saying something), Josie suddenly passes away in the 23rd episode, "The Condemned Woman," following a standoff with Agent Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan). But death is not the end for the Twin Peaks transplant, as her soul (or at least her face) becomes trapped inside of a desk drawer knob in the Great Northern hotel. Yes, really, because Twin Peaks.

How did Josie die? Is she one of the many poor souls who now exists within the dreaded Black Lodge? Was her spirit sentenced to imprisonment within the wooden walls of the Great Northern forever, as some fans have theorized? It's still not exactly clear what happened to Josie, or why the last image of her is as a screaming piece of furniture, but count Chen among the many fans hoping for Josie to bust out of the drawer. With that in mind, Chen resurrected her Twin Peaks character for one final (for now) performance, in the form of a letter to series co-creator and director Lynch, penned entirely in character as Josie Packard.

"I was wandering in the aisles of American Apparel, waiting for my daughter to get done in the fitting room, when a young shop girl approached me and asked, 'Are you Josie in Twin Peaks?'" Chen tells The Hollywood Reporter over e-mail, recounting the origin story of her current Josie swan song. "I was quite shocked that she had seen Twin Peaks and could actually recognize me with my unadorned face decades after I appeared in the show. That was around the time when Twin Peaks was set to be revived. I thought it would be fun to write David as Josie’s spirit. I was sure that it would bring a smile to his face."

The Hollywood Reporter has exclusively obtained the letter, as seen below.

What do you think of Chen's pitch? Sound off in the comments below, and keep checking THR.com/TwinPeaks for series coverage of Showtime's revival.

link (TP)

[nataliromanova]

the dale cooper show

🌲☕️🍩

my all-time ultimate fave character: i would die for dale cooper

a character I didn’t used to like but now do: ok don’t leave me for this but…… i really didn’t get the audrey hype

a character I used to like but now don’t: josie? but that’s only really because of her aggravating, confusing, overly melodramatic storyline, not her. and honestly, they just treated her terribly (that maid storyline was bs)… idk, i DO like josie, it’s just. agh.

a character I’m indifferent about: annie. they brought her on specifically to be a love interest/plot device, which i haaaaaaate, and there wasn’t anything about her for me to connect with personally (except liking coop, but lol). i wish they had given her more development instead of just molding her into the Perfect Love Interest in the span of a few episodes. and james bores me to the throes of death, but that might go without saying

a character who deserved better: laura, josie, annie, shelly, norma, coop… A LOT OF PEOPLE OKAY

a ship I’ve never been able to get into: coop/audrey, coop/annie, harry/josie (but i tried! i did!), donna/james

a ship I’ve never been able to get over: harry/coop!!! god!!!!!

a cute, low-key ship: shelly/norma, all variations of hawk/harry/coop/andy (harry/coop can be otp and cute & low-key at the same time), andy/lucy, shelly/gordon, coop/denise, andy/denise!, maddy and donna were cute when james wasn’t a factor lmao

an unpopular ship but I still enjoyed it: HAHA okay i’m not dick’s biggest fan, least of all when he’s being a dick to andy, but some of their scenes together were much needed comic relief and i appreciate that

a ship that was totally wrong and never should have happened: laura/anyone who ever hurt her, ben horne/everyone, james/evelyn, nadine/mike?? how old was he anyway, shelly/leo and norma/hank tbh, donna/harold smith????? Why

my favourite storyline/moment: harry waiting in the woods for coop for ten hours(!); harry and coop figuring out how to adjust those chairs oh my god; everything about coop & laura’s dream/soul/etc. connection even when it makes me so damn sad; “catherine… forgive my saying so… but aren’t you dead?”; deputy tommy “hawk” hill’s entire existence; gordon and shelly’s first meeting; literally every andy moment (“where have you been???” “there was a cat in a tree”); “SHUT YOUR EYES AND YOU’LL BURST INTO FLAMES.” “thanks margaret”; denise tricking the renault bros and sneaking coop that gun under her dress :))))); ………coop cocking his gun and shooting at windom earle’s crate of horrors; “i’d rather be his whore than your wife” (❤️️ norma ❤️️)

a storyline that never should have been written: the whole james/evelyn thing was so tedious; WHO’S DONNA’S REAL FATHER???, that whole mr. tojamura subplot?? who allowed that???

my first thoughts on the show: this is the strangest thing i’ve ever seen and i’m in love with dale cooper

my thoughts now: for the love of god let coop live

[sorry-im-late-again]

Revolve 31- Les Misérables 23/2/17

Les Mis last night… first off wow! It was the most amazing, emotional and captivating show and cast I have ever seen!

So I should probably get into it by saying that during my show, Sophie Reeves was on as Fantine, Jonny Purchase as Enjolras, Lee Van Geleen as the Factory Foreman and Andy Conaghan was on as Grantaire. All five swings were on as well, because Steffan Harri, Josie Kemp and Adam Bayjou were all off. Holly Anne Hull was listed to be on but I don’t think she was, though I can’t be sure for definite. Also I’m going to try and be as brief as possible because I don’t want this to be too long.

To start with the principals, I was very impressed with the vast majority of them.

Simon Gleeson, Oh my Goodness Simon Gleeson. He was absolutely excellent, from the moment of the prologue when he opens his mouth for the first time right up until the final bows he just did not fail to be amazing. He did what a Valjean should do and more, he was captivating, raw and amazing and was also such a lovely lovely person at stage door! His soliloquy was fantastically raw and wonderful and right through he was consistently excellent. He’s not a Valjean you want to miss because as far as I’m concerned he’s the best Valjeans Les Mis has seen in years.

On to Hayden Tee. He was a very good Javert, he was gruff, angry yet the emotion in stars and Javert’s suicide was excellent. I liked the interaction between him and Valjean when valjean arrives at the barricade and I really couldn’t have complained. His Javert is fresh and new and I’m delighted he took over from Jeremy Secombe. He’s also only there until April so you should definitely do what you can to catch him. He isn't Jeremy and I definitely prefer Jezza but Tee is a good stand in

Okay so, Sophie Reeves. I had been looking forward to seeing Lucy O Byrne because I was very proud to see an Irish Fantine, however Sophie Reeves was very good. She was the right amount of timid in the factory scene and her deterioration from lovely ladies to her death was heartbreaking. Her Come to Me had me in tears, it was incredibly moving. Her I dreamed a dream wasn't the highlight of her performance for me but it was still good

Katy Secomb is well used to the role of Madame T now, and I enjoyed her performance, particularly with this year’s Thenardier, David Langham who is so tall but very good at the role.

Hollie O Donoghue is a good Eponine. She absolutely looks the part, the photos don’t do it justice. She’s good, I had no problem with her interpretation of the role but there's lots of scope for improvement. She’s not the feistiest Eponine ever but her feistiness is still present at times, especially in her interactions with Montparnasse. Her interactions with Marius and her lines relating to him with heartbreaking though they were a little too friendly. She rushes a lot of her lines which I didn't love but She definitely is good at her role and I can see her continuing to improve. She is a hundred times better than Carrie H Fletcher but I preferred Eva

Charlotte Kennedy is undeniably one of my favourite Cosettes. I’m happy to see a dark Cosette as well because I thibk it looks wonderful with her green garden dress. Her In My life is one of my absolute favourites and i am absolutely delighted she took over from Zoe Doano.

It’s no secret that I am a massive fan of Jonny Purchase. I adored his Joly and his Marius. I never saw his Combeferre but I’m quite thankful I missed it because I’ve heard nothing but bad stuff lol. However despite being a big fan I can’t pretend I wasn’t slightly disappointed that Chris Cowley wasn’t on, but only because I have heard so so much about his wonderful performance. However Jonny made me regret that disappointed. He was an absolutely fantastic Enjolras. He was fiery, passionate, dedicated to his cause and easy on the eyes. His vocals are very good and his interaction with the poor was great in Paris. He was perfect in ABC cafe. He was respected by his peers and I just really enjoyed his performance overall. At stage door he joked about his wig being awful but I didn’t mind it either. He was just excellent and I could say so much more but this is so so long already.

As for Marius, I enjoyed Paul Wilkinson’s performance however I had a few small issues. Not that he wasn’t good, he was very good, just that I didn’t find he stuck out to me as much as I had expected. He blended in with the other students a little more than A Marius should l think. However he looks nice, his vocals were amazing and I loved his reactions to Eponine’s death. He was heartbroken at her death and help her in his arms for the longest time, even after her body was carried away he stayed by himself for a bit and cried until he was comforted by Grantaire and then Valjean arrived at the Barricade. I do like to see a Marius actually effected by Eponine’s death even if it’s not strictly accurate to the brick. It was heartbreaking and wonderful and I think I’m just really greedy because he was an excellent Marius. I liked him better than Craig Mather and I am really glad he’s back, I just thought he was going to be a new favourite based on audios I’d heard. However his Empty chairs was lovely vocally and emotionally

Okay so on to the students and I’ll try so so hard to keep this brief. So to start with Combeferre, I was absolutely gutted to discover Steffan Harri wasn’t on because I was so looking forward to seeing him. However Danny Whitehead was an excellent Combeferre, if perhaps a little small and slight. I still really liked his performance. He was calm and collected and just very good. He was very dedicated to the cause In ABC and I enjoyed him. Will Jennings was a wonderful Courfeyrac, and I reckon he’d make a wonderful Bamatabois when he’s on. At the start of Red and Black he was completely delighted to hear about Marius’ new found love interest which I was happy to see at last, however he rightly got sick of hearing it and turned back to the cause quickly. His voice is different but sounds great and his ‘And if I should die in the fight to be free, where the fighting is hardest there will I be’ was one of the best delivered lines of the show. I would have loved to see him as Bamatabois. Vinny Coyle is an excellent Feuilly and I was happy to see him on. He looked the part and he sounded amazing. He handled all of the lines very well, his ‘they can come.if they dare, we’ll be there’ actually gave me goosebumps he was excellent and I would love to see him take over the role (However I don’t want Jonny to leave) He’s also excellent when he’s in the ensemble. He was absolutely brilliant in Master of the House and He looked like he was having the time of his life in The Wedding. All in All Vinny Coyle is an excellent edition to the cast and I am so glad he’s part of it. Felix Mosse could catch anyone’s eye. He’s a wonderful Jean Prouvaire and he looks how I imagine a Prouvaire should look. He’s dreamy, wonderful and his voice is smooth and just lovely and His flag waving was very good. He caught my eye constantly during Lovely Ladies and he makes a wonderful pimp, and it’s probably my favourite version of the role I’ve seen. I am 100% positive he makes a wonderful Marius and I hope he gets promoted to principal Marius at some point just cause I know he’ll be excellent. Simon Lynch was an absolutely fantastic Joly. He was sweet, scared and I just don’t think I could find too may faults with him. He was scared at the barricade, particularly during drink with me there was evident nerves and I got the impression he’s a lovely Marius. As I said above, Andy Conaghan was on for Grantaire and he was also very good. His Drink with me broke me, he addressed all the student until Jonny ran down the barricade to have ‘Is your life just one more lie’ sung to him. They embraced almost straight away after the line before they sat down and talked and it was all very lovely. There was very nice chemistry between Jonny and Andy and it made me very happy. Lee Van Geleen is still playing Lesgle which doesnt showcase his talent properly however he was also on as The Factory Foreman and he was very very good and I was delighted to finally see the moustache. Anthony Hansen is obviously a bit of an older Montparnasse but he portrays him very well. His interactions with Eponine were great and I’m pretty positive he makes a good Bishop too. Adam Pearce’s Bamatabois is as weird as ever but I can’t deny I love his stage presence and it’d be a different show without him. Oli Brennan is consistently excellent as a swing and was on for Bayjou. I don’t think there’s much to say other than he was great as per.

Now on with the female ensemble, they were very good. I loved Samantha Thomas in the role of Madeline last night and Kayleigh Mcknight was an excellent factory girl with just the perfect level of bitchiness! Tamsin didn’t disappoint, Lucyelle was very good, Aimee Fisher was excellent and I was particularly impressed by Lauren Soley . Turning was actually enjoyable and Lovely Ladies was very very good i was disappointed with the lack of Josie Kemp because she was off..

Additional notes: I actually really loved Master of the House, the little Gavroche was positively hilarious and the little girls were so so sweet, and it was my absolute favourite version of ABC I’ve seen ever, bec

All in all it was an excellent performance with a spectacular cast, the best in years I believe and you definitely should not miss Revolve 31!