#how did I mess something up this much
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
I may have messed something that's supposed to be simplistic up
Have ye'r ever just come across a TV commercial in the middle of the night only for this supposed pepperman's t-shirt commercial to pop up with the first seconds being this immediately?
The Judgement Pepperman
#pizza tower#pizza tower pepperman#pepperman#pizza tower art#pizza tower artwork#pizza tower fanart#pepperman art#pepperman artwork#pepperman fanart#screwed up#task succesfully failed#how did I mess something up this much#sketch#shitposting sketch#that one tv commercial in the middle of the night#judgement#judgement pepperman#pizza tower judgement#pizza tower judgement pepperman
32 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Silly 15!skk comic that I sketched awhile ago and dont remember what compelled me to draw this
#bsd#skk#soukoku#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#bsd dazai#bsd art#bsd chuuya#15!skk#bsd crack#skk comic#this is so stupid I donāt remember why I drew this#maybe it shouldāve stayed in my sketchbook lol wth#my art#help this is why I shouldāve went to bed instead of clean this mess up#what am I even doing#I donāt know if this is incomprehensible but if anyone does read this by some chance I drew it right to left#sorry I dont know how to panel/too lazy#this is the less amount of color Iāve did in awhile just flats#this is a lot of stuff in the tags#i think i remember i was taking my vitamins or something and thought of thisā¦i think#i dont know how to draw mori sorry i dont know I got too lazy too#I cleaned the lines but not too much because I am lazy
712 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
my attempt at a bunch of my fav artists styles :] idea by sootnuki!!
i would love to do more but this was already a huge challenge
if any artist here dislikes this/is uncomfortable with it/any reason i can take it down or turn off reblogs etc. otherwise i hope its ok š«” im not gonna tag anyone just gonna let it do its thing in the wild lol
#crunchchute art#my art#sam and max#sam & max#i hope it will be viewable as i dont know how much tumblr will crunch it#in any case i have it up on twitter also and it seems to be in good quality there#it looks like a 'the 7 human souls:' meme hfhdhf#hey i can put more thoughts in the tags right? so first i didnt really put enough effort into my own one and i kinda realized my style#is kinda mid ngl. cause im lazy + this coloring style might not really fit them. anyway.#for sootnukis style i adore the rendering of the clothing folds and stuff but i couldnt get it just right it remains a mystery to me#silcrow i tried to do a traditional drawing but kinda messed up some of the coloring especially on the pants#also couldnt figure out if its just markers or markers + pencils or what. so i kinda did my own take of 90% markers 10% pencils#mtsodie i love the color palettes and the shapes so that was a lot of fun to try; i like the outcome#narnour i absolutely love the tiny little eyes and how goofy and round they look so that was fun to try to replicate too#as well as the colors which i mostly color picked cause i couldnt get a red overlay right#zembo was a nice way to revisit a chalky brush that i havent used in ages not sure if i got it right though#applettoast i feel like theres some gorillaz influence or its at least something i used while coloring. as you might know i used to draw#gorillaz a lot and tried to replicate the coloring etc. and i think it fit here. correct me if im wrong lol#snuckeys was also hella fun cause i love the cartooniness and the details like the teeth showing gums and stuff. hope i did it justice#also the eyes! i love the big highlight and that the eyes are brown its cute#it was nice to branch out for a bit
576 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Curly not immediately punishing Jimmy for assaulting Anya is something I donāt think a lot of people are viewing in the complex context for Curly as the superior to both of them and closest confidante they had.
Like I am in no way saying he didnāt under react or fail Anya by not being harsh or direct with Jimmy but it really is the case that he really couldnāt. Imagine being stuck in such a confined space with very little areas to genuinely hold someone if they commit a crime. Itās not like this was an event that occurred before they departed or that they have easy communication with The Pony Express to ask for how to proceed when something like this arises. Not to mention, Jimmyās relative power in relation to Anya as the co-pilot and second in command, he has the knowledge and access to do something to her had Curly directly punished him in this setting.
They were also Curlyās friends. Itās not just the case of him mediating something between his subordinates but people he is personally invested in donāt want to see spiral further in Anyaās case while also not wanting believe his friend go that bad in Jimmyās actions. They were both suicidal and Curly putting Jimmyās stability first is both out of bias but also the fact heās aware at some level Jimmy is a danger to himself and others if not constantly placated. Combined with the fact he was in denial or just not piecing together what Anya said itās hard to say what he buying time for and what he had treat as urgent. This isnāt even saying he doesnāt care about Anya but heās not going jump to the worst conclusions about his friends even if part of him acknowledges the evidence saying so. Itās a complicated thing but heās still human and needed to process it on top of trying to keep a ship that already took on a lot of water from further sinking, metaphorically.
I just personally think that while Curly failed Anya, it was a scenario where there wasnāt much he could do to the best thing by her safely and like Jimmy, we are underestimating what a good leader would do in a very fragile and tense situation like he was in. By the time he may have been ready and had a plan, things were much too late.
#like in my one Anya still respected Curly after he didnāt punish Jimmy so I assume he still respected her or reassured her heād do something#it just was never enough because sadly Jimmy just needed to be removed from the ship and thatās not possible#cause no matter what Jimmy was going to do something stupid to fix it and Curly had to be thinking of a way to avoid that but also trying to#play the subjective role of friend and objective role of captain with two of the people he is currently closest with#not to mention how heās a big picture guy and itās not an excuse but those little detail and subtle behaviors are probably lost if the big#picture looks fine still and he admits heād drive himself crazy trying to look for it#like weirdly Curlys character is only seen through the people he tried to protect and we judge him on his failures but we donāt get too much#on his insights directly as Jimmy is unreliable and he tries hard to be gentle with Anya#personal note is I donāt think Curly underplaying Anyaās trauma is a guy code protecting my bud thing but more a flaw in his personal#character in where he just wants everything and everyone to be ok in the end and taking responsibility that isnāt his to bare like he canāt#make up for what Jimmy did but he tried and thatās the problem really cause heās just used to actually fixing it for him and itās the case#this is the one thing he really couldnāt like I think heās a good guy but heās trapped in his and a bunch of other peoples worse moments#anya mouthwashing#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing curly#curly mouthwashing#mouthwashing anya#jimmy mouthwashing#captain curly#nurse Anya#mouthwashing spoilers#rape tw#suicide tw#also last thought is how he like also was being emotionally drained by Jimmy constantly like Anya and his relationship with Jimmy parallel#each other in such a way that both him and Anya warily follow the words of the others abuser because they fear the physical or emotional#repercussions if they donāt like her not being able to really tell curly what happened and then curly not being able to do the same and how#jimmy assaults and dehumanizes both when they are no longer a service to him like god they are more adjacent than Jimmy and Curly like Curly#messed up in a already messy pile Jimmy mad it into a dumpster fire in a landfill they are not the same
172 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
(It's ok Yurgir will respawn in Avernus)
| First | | Previous | | Next |
[[ All Croissant Adventures (chronological, desktop) ]]
[[ All Croissant Adventures (app) ]]
#...right- LOL#I was so scared of losing anyone I pretty much only summoned Yurgir!#ok let me ramble about this fight in the tags#I.....listen. Listen. I love this game with my entire heart. It's one of my favorite games of all time.#.....the final battle took me out of it a little bit ngjfkdlnshjk#It introduced a bunch of new mechanics and maybe I'm dumb but it felt like it wasn't super clear how everything worked#First I restarted it because I dropped a globe of invuln on the starting area thinking Orpheus could just activate the stones from that far#Then I restarted it bc I basically ran out of time on the rounds...except I didn't realize the fight would continue since every other-#-turn-based round counter was usually a game over#THEN I actually summoned the flaming fist to help clean up right at the end which made the camera SUPER confused when I went in the portal#It was a mess.#I still give the game an 11/10 tho lmao#Oh also Orpheus did something - I don't know what - and then the dragon just died with 120hp left. So. Good job buddy LOL#Lae'zel ended up killing the Emperor - I'm sure she enjoyed that#bg3#baldur's gate 3#bg3 spoilers#act III spoilers#croissant adventures#tav#prince orpheus#yurgir#shadowheart#lae'zel#gale#breadweave#comics
206 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
for something as trivial and simple those feelings sure are hard to get rid of
also made a gif a version for fun + alt version with no tears under the cut
the gif is in very low resolution...this is a feature (i could make it bigger but that would require saving each frame individually and than glueing it all together. also i feel like low resolution suits it better. aesthetically and fits the mood)
#hs#homestuck#dirk strider#eye strain#probably? if you think i should tag something else let me know!!#anyway hooray its time for rambling in the tags#so uhhh heres the teƦ i've been sick for like a week and you know how it is when suddenly your throat becomes the main gunk warehouse#and you can't breathe lol. wish i could just pull it out. anywaaayy this is basically a vent piece for me being sick lol#also i could draw remotively the same thing with kris deltarune. oh how easy it is to project having a cold#though i have been also experiencing troubles with feelings recently as well....how fitting for dirk#speaking of the man himself (enough of me) his relationship with his own Heart...is peculiar to say the least#the thing i love about alphakids is that despite being so feral they were. so relatable. i cannot stress this enough how unwell they are an#and how they represented being a teen so well. yeah being 15 years old makes that to you#imagine being an emotional mess and trying to fit the 'norm' and act normal about your friends so youre not offputting#and then you fall in love with you friend and your ai clone falls in love with him too looool noone makes out of this one alive#uhh literally. godtiering stuff and dying remember#and speaking of it. tw for suicidal talk for the rest of tags#do you ever think dirk was suicidal. of course the part of when he teleports his head to jake was totally planned and he knew he would ->#wake up as dreamself but. don't you think the moment he cut his head off was sort of. cathartic. how much did he hate his own guts#beheading himself not only for the plan...but also because he thought he 'deserved' it#also wow he is a Prince and was literally beheaded don't you think its funny hahaa#sigh poor thing#this has ended on a not the very pleasant note hm#also fckkkkkk i didn't draw anything with rose/mary for the lesbian visabilty week#(putting the slash because tumblr search system has a dumb gag with showing you posts that contain the tag inside the other tag.#and i don't want this post to show up for the ros/mary fans because it's not!!!! its rose's father emotional crisis post!!!!)#update YOOOO WHAT THE HELL THE GIF HAS EVEN LESS PIXELS THEN I PLANNED fantastic#this your breakfast now tumblr. enjoy your crunchy flakes of dirks meltdown. mwah
166 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
SHOWSTARS
Working on the asks again, but have this colored piece of SMG16 and RTV!Puzzles for now. Their duo name is SHOWSTARS (or BLUESCREEN if we take the angst path).
Please note that SMG16 belongs to @birdy-four and that these two are meant to be seen as STRICTLY PLATONICAL!
Anyway enough yapping!
#Nvm Iām gonna yap here#SMG16 is probably the single person in that brainwashed world that looks up to RTV with genuine admiration and amazement#Which may be because he comes from another universe and has no clue what happened in the RTV!AU#He of course notices that something is off sometimes but RTV is keeping him mostly shielded#Because as much as RTV tried to convince himself of the opposite#Brainwashing ppl into admiring him isn't really satisfying him#So he keeps 16 around#Even treats him waaay better than others#Because heās desperate for that genuine admiration 16 gives him#BLUESCREEN is a Concept where 16 finds out what kind of messed up things RTV did#All that admiration he had for RTV is replaced by doubt#RTV meanwhile gets hit by some very unexpected depression when he realizes how much 16 means to him after he leaves#Which ultimately leads him to cope horribly like he always does and figures he has to get rid of 16 to get rid of those feelings#ANYWAY#I nearly drew RTV too soft in this lmao#Heās still a jerk and bad person#But he may be genuinely happy when 16 is around#Which tbh is probably only a benefit to him and no one else lmao#mr puzzles#smg4#mr. puzzles#smg4 puzzlevision#smg4 mr puzzles#smg4 au#smg4 tv adware#smg4 fanart#reality tv au#rtv au#SHOWSTARS
61 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
hong kong miku,,,
#hopping on the trend jumpscare iām from hong kong surprise#i havenāt seen that many hk mikus around#lowkey chat i think i kinda ate with this one#however i will say i am coloring in the dark so if any colors look off thatās why#and also i havenāt opened this program in literal months i jumped straight into this no warmup no nothing#miku is what pulls me out of art block apparently i was locked in for 5 hours STRAIGHT#someone needs to teach me how to paint properly holy#not sure how i feel about the bottom left one but that was a quick one anyways#i am from hk originally but i havenāt been back in years so i have no idea about the culture other than food and mirror#OKAY let me explain the context#street food is a big thing in hk and quick and easy things like fish balls egg waffles and like siu mai and wonton noodles are popular#back then people really would just squat down on the side of the road or right in front of the shop to eat it and go#but i donāt think anyone does that anymore city life and all that#ohh i should have done instant noodles breakfasts god i loved those#if anyones from hk if you go to the causeway bay mtr station exit that leads up to the big road near sogo. do they still sell siu mai there#that shit was BANGER i remember asking for them all the time#a good majority of parents in hk would get their daughters ears pierced as a baby something about them not feeling as much pain idk#thatās just what i was told#i used the neon for her friendly standard greeting cause i wanted to incorporate the neon signs somehow without actually drawing a whole bg#lots of neon signs in hk. i heard they had to take them down cause of light pollution which is sad but understandable#everyone got their shoes from dr kong. at least when i was younger they did#boy band is self explanatory. i heard theyāre really popular my mom listens to them#oh i had her messing with her shoes cause hk people move FAST. you stop for one second and you get shoved#so like a fun little allusion#gave her black roots just for fun. she is violating every school uniform code possible#this is all based off of my memory by the way so like. anyone who knows this better than i do hit me up#hatsune miku#miku from my culture#jellos scribbles#i havenāt tag yapped in so long welcome back my love i missed you
63 notes
Ā·
View notes
Note
help I wanna draw either otto or mj or both but ive been scrolling so long and i cant find any refs ughh please post them /gen /nf /neu
:D awww thanks for considering to draw my characters ā¼ļøš„š
šRefs under cutš
āļø Otto āļø
š¬ M.J š¬
The fish net is supposed to be on the left hand while the arm warmer is on the right. I just messed it up in the standing on
#M.J#ottto#if you did see all of these while looking through tags and you didnāt think they were proper references SORRY š guys this is all I have#lamo I was surprised that despite how much I draw M.J I donāt actually have to many references#lamo I always meant to fix the M.J drawing I messed up but I dunno#LOVE OTTO YAYAYAYYA Iām so glad whoever wants to draw xem š„ā¤ļø#anyway MJ could really be put into any and all outfits which is why I put the evil art style challenge there#artists on tumblr#art#finished piece#illustration#my art#digital art#my oc art#2024 art#text post#I love getting stuff in my inbox<3#super unrelated but I have some new Otto lore because Iām evil :) so maybe Iāll draw something like that soon I dunno
53 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
thinkign about how alone and unloved morty was for all his life and rick was the first time anyobdy ever put such an amount of intense attention and dependency onto him . and rick had a whole new family and losing them made him stop seeing the value in other people as a whole and morty was the one and first thing that woke him up
#really long Tag rant down there#one of the most Things Ever about them to me is how morty barely even understands just how much rick loves him. more than anything#and its something ricks done on purpose hes made sure of it#because hes so weak he cant handle it#them being together is agony in avsolutely every way and sense but also theyre the best part of eachothers lives#morty because nobodys payed attention to him quite like rick has and all the exciting space adventures and rick just cause. he literally#just likes him thats it. and he never knew it#also i was thinking of this earlier. one of the reasons season 1 is soooo good to me is cuz you get to see morty grow on rick in real time#stuff like that moment where morty walks through the door and rick is instantly at the sight of him SUPER excited and he goes hey!!! but#then he clears his throat and goes Hey trying to pretend like this dumb scaredy kid isnt becoming his favourite thing hes ever known day af#er day#and goddamn night shaym aliens. in that moment where he realised morty had been fake the whole time i rlly wonder what he was thinking and#how he felt. like. oh man this is messing with me way too much this is Bad#and then he got drunk over it and yknow. that . is it post credits. i think. that scene#n literally At the Very beginning he was tired n drunk n stupid thinking like man fuck this im gonna blow this place up and do what prime#did to me. But he brought morty with him Even just at that point it flashed in his mind and he absolutely could not bear to let morty die#Breathes in#im rewatching in October bc anniversary month. i literally canāt wait im so actually impatient i considered just doing it today So hard#odiespeak
35 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
The man truly canāt take a genuine compliment š
#my art stuff#digital art#baldur's gate 3#bg3#astarion#astarion ancunin#this is part of a series I like to call āIām never settling on a singular detailed artstyleā#I have no consistency in drawing realistic people/characters other than my shapy cartoon style#but I truly donāt get enough opportunity to properly shade anything with art in that style-!!! it always looks weird to me-!!!!!#I think some rude lil worm in my brain is wriggling around telling me itās a futile attempt at still doing realism#cus Iām one of those āgiftedā artists that grew up promising his parents heāll end up among the big names or whatever#constantly training to become better at art but with realism oil paintings as the goal#you know how it is š#I wanna shade my lil funky designs but they never feel good enough to really put energy into or whatever so I compromise with stuff -#- like this where I try to draw characters more accurately while still stylizing them and shading them however I feel like it#which is great and all but I should really learn to give my more relaxed and less perfectionist art a chance#I deserve to enjoy the process and the result without working myself dead#itās so much easier and rewarding to copy cartoon styles - stylizing realism makes me too anxious of doing it āwrongā#at least cartoon styles give me a goal to reach or a reference to strive towards#man I really should just cut myself some slack altogether#either way - this man is a flustered mess and heās embarrassed about being called adorable in public or something#being teased in an affectionate way about his sweeter side and stuff#donāt ask why heās shirtless - anatomy is just a lot more fun for me to draw sometimes#tasteful nudity and all that is extremely gorgeous to me#i need to practice anatomy more cus I just kinda did some shit and went with it this time with a BIT of consideration for muscle structure
54 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Another little inconsequential red hood thing and I'll admit that I'm decently biased but it irks me to see the whole "Jason can't shut up about his death/he makes his death everyone else's problem" take really frequently because he simply does not do that enough for it to be a thing in like any actual Red Hood story.
It's a thing you see sometimes in modern annuals/comics with large casts, particularly if a writer doesn't seem super confident with writing all of the characters that they're working with or if he's just a background character in this one, because with comics it's quicker to reduce a character to recognizable landmarks than to try and work out a whole new complex voice if you don't really need to, so it's tire iron, Jane Austen, Joker, and death, and it's all written out in dialogue because every character in a group event can't have their own internal monologue, but like. That's pretty much it. UTRH is the establishing event for Jason Todd post death so of course a lot of it is about his death, although it's arguably about the lack of response to his death more than his death itself, and he certainly makes it Bruce's issue but one beef doesn't make a trend. Plus if his death is anyone's issue beyond his own Bruce and Joker are like the number one guys whose issue it is. He THINKS about his death a ton in Lost Days, but it doesn't really reflect externally on any of his interactions besides with Joker, which again, that's justified and relevant beef. Teen Titans 29 is more about his place in the hero community/feeling like he was an outsider even before the bomb/Tim being the new robin than about his death, and side note, that being counted as an attempt on Tim's life also bugs me. He beat him up and then left of his own volition. That's not an assassination attempt its called a fight, albeit a sneaky and unfair one. But anyways. I can't speak on Battle for the Cowl because i haven't read it, both that and Batman and Robin 2009 don't really compel me, but it's entirely possible that's an outlier to my point seeing as I kinda sorta haven't read it and don't care to lmao. Even New 52 (although HIGHLY unpopular) and Rebirth/Dawn of DC/Whatever we're doing now Red Hood content don't really have him talking to people about it besides the occasional little quips. He might make stances that were developed because of his death other people's problem, like in the Mia Dearden Green Arrow situation with the "getting involved in other people's business" issue, but acting like he makes specifically his death everyone else's problem is ignoring all of the perfectly valid actually canon things he makes other people's problem. Most of the unpleasant traits he brings to the table are a result of his death and the sense of abandonment and betrayal that came with it, but that doesn't mean he's bringing his death into it when he acts unpleasantly any more than he's bringing his birth into it when he shows up in the first place. The consequences do not equal the event. All this to say it's irritating when people say the character is grating because he doesn't stop whining about his death when that kinda just indicates to me that they're working off fanon based on fanon based on kinda mid batman annual.
#i'm probs going to take a break from jasonposting for a while because it kinda seems like im beating a dead horse lmao#anyone else reading dawn of dc green arrow? because i find it delightful#maybe ill start oliverposting did you ever think of that?#they're kinda pushing amanda waller REALLY hard like she is in EVERYTHING rn but whatever it's not messing it up too bad for me#i like the art style and also seeing roy in his silly little outfit with his silly little hairstyle#i should really get into nightwing more#i'm fairly into modern damian content i'd say#LOVING the new boy wonder issue one can't wait for june 4#jason todd#red hood#dc comics#on the topic of writing large casts of characters well#i don't like to publicly speak bad of specific writers and artists as a whole unless they've actually done something real life bad#because my expectations and how much they were or were not met is my own business#but i am not fond of how tom king writes large groups#i haven't forgotten that alternate universe thing tom. it was not good tom#i remember the heroes in crisis confessions and i found them underwhelming at best
41 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
good. morning.
#i'm buzzing with adrenaline i need to finish this fic before i go insane#what the fuck what the FUCK#i can't believe chapter six contained everything from jay getting the rib bone to.....#um#that#how the fuck did all that fit in one chapter#I WAS SKIPPING AROUND TOO CUZ I DIDNT WANNA READ THE DETAILED PARTS OF THINGS#WHAT THE FUCK!!#IT WAS SO MUCH#im in shambles I WANT JAY TO GET RESCUED SO BADLY NEVER IN MY LIFE HAVE I BEEN SO DESPERATE TO GET TO THE COMFORT ASPECT OF A WHUMP FIC#NOT EVEN WITH WYTYAA NOT EVEN WITH RIGHTS OF A NINDROID NOT EVEN WITH LFLS FROM ROTTMNT hi glitch youre probably not gonna see this I'M SO#HOOOOOO#lies down on the floor#im a wreck yall#on the bright side i was worried nadakhan would show up in my dreams given how late i was reading and was not thrilled about that but inste#d i dreamed that i worked at walmart????#so thats something#im a mess guys im such a mess help#spinjitsu screams#spinjitsu reads
94 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
just read this part of the adventurer's bible and
do you think toshiro was originally attracted to falin (whilst still being irritated by many of her same traits in laios) because he thought his father would find her interesting???
#undescribed#eliot posts#dunme#dungeon meshi#dm spoilers#idk how i feel about him#my first impression was positive bc he had a cool character design (and i found him quite handsome personally lol)#but also he was mean to laios :(#but also laios was asking him intrusive questions and messing up his name#but also he should have just spoken up instead of expecting others to just read his mind#but also dude was a nobleman in what looks like feudal era japan#which to my (albeit limited) historical knowledge had even more intense politeness rules than like. the victorian era#so if the dunmeshi world is like the irl era then it could be a cultural thing that he felt he couldn't vocalize that stuff directly#and also he was in love with falin and seemed to like her weirdgirl tendencies. which i appreciate and respect. like. me too dude.#but also how much was genuine feelings and how much was seeing her as a novelty?#BUT ALSO did his family own fucking SLAVES??? and was he cool with that???#or did i miss something/am i misunderstanding something?#like is the guy having a sixpenceee moment here#or am i just misunderstanding context/history here?
49 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
spent the first hour and change at work deleting some old files and am having a grand ol time laughing at myself for not realizing i was a lesbian sooner
#vulnerable tag rambles ahead please be kind abt them i didnt intent to ramble this much but i dont wanna delete it eitehr#me to every single man i have ever dated after 6mo-1y: yeah hey this really isnt working out i dont really know why but i really hate mysel#and i dont want to blame you because i dont think you did anything inherently wrong here; i think this is something about me but i need#space to figure out why im feeling this way [every single one reacted by telling me No i wasnt allowed to leave btw]#i hold very complex feelings about these relationships esp bc of them ending in very violent/chaotic ways most of the time#but its interesting to look back at it all and realize ive left every man for the same reason (which is that ive hated myself Every Single#Time ive dated a man) and its funny bc i recognized the self hate pretty early on w/ cishet men but when it came to queer men it was#much more confusing (esp w/ nto knowing Any lesbians at that point in my life). im so happy im a lesbian tbh#i have a lot of issues w/ the racism fatphobia and transmisogyny present in lesbian groups#and also coming out as a lesbian really truly saved my life. before i met my wife i was quite literally in a 3yr abusive relationship that#definitely would have died in if i hadnt realzied i was a lesbian and ran from him#its also weird seeing liek the hard evidence of the things that happened to me btween 2016-2020 tbh#cause that was such a bad time of my life. i truly dont know how i survived it but im so glad i did#like the three major relationships in my life b4 meeting my wife was: guy who was in college when i was in HS who stalked me when i left;#guy who was a year younger than me who cheated on me the entire time while telling me he was being victimized (he wasnt; this was very mess#guy who saw the very messy toxic ldr i was in and helped me dump my ex then decided that meant we were in a relationship [insert 3 yrs here#and admittedly all 3 years with him werent the same level of abusive but it was definitely unhealthy from the start considering I Didnt Kno#we were together until he wanted to celebrate vday and got mad i didnt know our anniversary - and like this isnt including the other stuff#that happened between those Relatonships[tm] (cause ive never been monogamous; these were just the Major Relationships)#like i genuinely think if i hadnt come out i'd be dead rn given just how dangerous my relationships were/continued getting#i am also so tired now that ive seen all this cause like. fuck i can barely believe it and i not only lived it but have PTSD about it#i should write about my life sometime. i feel like it'd be cathartic to try and make a tangible timeline and stories from the years ang stu#anyway yeah. be nice about the tag rambles. dont message me with pity or curiosity or anything about this. i dont usually talk abt this stu#publicly bc i hate the ways ppl start tryign to baby me when they realize my life has been extremely fucked up until only a few years ago#n im still working on accepting kindness from others bc of [insert life traumas here] but its a long process so pls respect my need for jus#being heard rn w/o too much pressure< 3 (but ig if u do read this can u like it cause i feel a little crazy seeing all the evidence of the#stuff i experienced now also cause fuck ik logically it was but also i cant believe it was all real still yk)
10 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
mayoi (enstars x hnk au)
#nep draws things#ensemble stars#enstars#sketch#mayoi ayase#enstars x hnk au#hnk au#ouoououououu i am soooo proud of the mayo on the right hjhjrhgrghrhgrhghgrghrhg he is so !!#showed this to a friend before i posted and they said his hair would taste like frozen grapes and i had to break it to them that it'd break#their teeth JHDHJFHJSDHJFHJSHJFSJD anywayy i might redraw the aira one.. he needs some attention too ^_^ sorry i only design for hii.ai /#alkaloid but THEY ARE MY FAVS........ by this logic i should be drawing more sw.itch but . i just . *waves hands* alkaloid !!! alkaloid so#special to me.. anyway tatsumi has another job other than patrolling with mayo which is why mayo has the winter uni and tatsun has the norm#i was maybe thinking tatsun would be a healer like rutile is..? nothing is set in stone (pun intended) for now ahha but tatsun can still#fight jsut fine!! hes more of a watcher for mayo. mayo fights more since his hardness lvl is much higher than tatsun's. during the spring a#stuff tho i think mayo kinda hides around? still not sure.. youd probably see him around tho in the shadows (ala canon i guess) and i guess#thats how hiiro and aira get to know mayo outside of patrols.. OH the reason why mayo is on winter patrol is because he gets too nervous#working with other gems and he kept messing up and hiding away whenever he did mess up so :((( yeah he usually fights by himself OH I SHOUL#EXPLAIN WHY HE CAN SPLIT INTO 2 its because of the spinel law something somethign rotated at 180 degrees at some axis but ANYWAY his hair#is longer in his singular form but you can see in his split form his hair is cut differently than how we normally see mayo's hair- and also#theyre mirrored!! their braids are on different sides and the side w/o the braid is shorter!! and the moles are on opposite sides too heheh#holy shit i wrote so much in the tags..... anyway THANK YOU SOS SO MUCH TEA FOR REMINDING ME OF THE HNK AU AGAIN AND ENABLING ME TO GO#INSANE OVER THIS AU AGAIN UR AMAZINGGGG <333333
115 notes
Ā·
View notes