#but also how much was genuine feelings and how much was seeing her as a novelty?
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abnormalcandylimbs · 1 day ago
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1. What category of alterhumanity do you belong to?
Polymorph alterhuman, otherkin, copinglinker, otherhearted, fictionkin.
2. What/who is/are your types?
Polymorph and harpy otherkin. Specifically, polymorph cladokin and harpy cladokin. (Also polymorph alterhuman.)
I identify as all types of harpies, from the ones that are just birds with women heads, to the gangly rotting hags, to the fluffy feathered feral bird women.
I also identify as all type of polymorphs and I identify as the overall state of being a polymorph.
And I’m Joel Dawson fictionkin from the 2020 movie Love and Monsters.
3. Do you experience shifts? If so, can you tell us your most common shifts and your strangest cameo shift (if you've ever had a cameo shift)?
I experience shifts. My most common are mental shifts and then phantom shifts.
Strangest cameo shifts: As a polymorphkin, I get cameo shifts all the time. I was at Giant one time with my dad. I was having a very intense (what I think was a) dragon cameo shift. I could feel fangs, snout, a tail, claws, and wings. I was making what was probably weird facial expressions as I was trying to get used to the feeling of the muzzle and fangs.
As I started stretching out the wings, this little girl and her mom walked by me and, I kid you not!, the girl’s face lit up with joy and wonder, pointed and looked up at me in the eyes, and said “A dragon! 😃”. The mom then yanked her away and said something like “Don’t point at people.” Lmao.
My dad was so weirded out and confused lol. 😂 But I was so happy. <3 I wish that I could have been a harpy shift that was noticed, but this was still an incredible experience that I’ll always remember.
And yes I did look behind me and no, there were no dragon items behind me.
4. How do you experience your alterhumanity in everyday life?
Hmm. Well, I see myself as a harpy that just doesn’t have feathers nor wings. I try to incorporate aspects of harpies into everyday life.
Also on all levels but physical I am a polymorph. Literally I do shapeshift, just not physically. (If that at all makes sense lol😅?) I am constantly copying, reflected, and shifting (nonphysically) depending on what’s around me, to fit in my environment.
5. What do you think of the community?
Overall I love it. I love how welcoming it is. And I love how a week or so ago I (a harpy) drove a siren and then had dinner with some werewolves haha. I do wish there wasn’t so much petty drama whenever someone doesn’t believe in everything the other person believes in. What happened to this being highly theoretical and based on nonproven stuff?
If we want to cancel someone it should be because they are genuine danger to society or to the community. Not because they didn’t tag your identity in a post or because you don’t like their hobbies.
(Not saying this happened recently, just that when it happens it makes me roll my eyes.)
6. What are the things that make you most comfortable and euphoric in your alterhumanity?
My gear, shawls and warm loose sweaters, sun bathing, bitting individual seeds off granola bars, overeating 🥲, vocals, drone videos, bone collecting and cleaning, collecting shinies, jewelry, corvidcore and cryptidcore clothing, eating Greek food.
Things that make me feel overall nonhuman and/or animalistic. Floating in water, practicing mimicking the movements/body language of animals and people, mimicking animal noises, drawing.
7. Are you experiencing species dysphoria?
Yes. It’s not as bad as when I was younger, when seeing my reflection would cause me to fall to the ground crying. But it is still there.
8. What advice would you like to say to a young alterhuman who has just awakened?
Take your time. There is no rush to find yourself.
Also use vague wording when journaling. Example: “I had a wolf snout shift=❌” , “I had a phantom shift of a long snout that was pointed and had sharp but strong teeth and fur=✅”
9. Do you have/want to have gears?
I have a pair of wings and tail feathers made of foam. Ear cuffs with feathers. A yarn tail. A mask of my copinglink type and a harpy mask. Some collars and a harness. Lots of jewelry. Shawls and cozy sweaters. Fangs. Bird feet.
10. Do you know/have any theories about the origin of your alterhumanity? If so, tell us! (all beliefs are legitimate)
For being a polymorph, it’s a mess of reasons. 😅 For being a harpy, I don’t really know. For being Joel Dawson, it’s solely spiritual. TLDR Do to isolation from people I imprinted on many animals. I derived my behaviors and instincts from animals, instead of people.
Yeah it’s complicated. If you’d like to know more read this old Amino post. It’s a bit outdated when it talks about my mental health, medication, and sexuality, but overall it’s still very accurate! :)
http://aminoapps.com/p/yld4a20
11. Tag someone/a creature to answer these questions!
@meowing-creature
@vulpenthefox
:3 Would love to read what you guys say! (Also I’m sorry if you’ve already completed this.😅)
If you are a alterhuman, reblog and answer these questions!
(don't be afraid to write a lot, do what you want ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯)
1/ Which category of alterhumanity do you belong to?
2/ What/who is/are your type(s)? (if you have any)
3/ Do you experience shifts? If so, can you tell us your most common shifts and your strangest cameo shift (if you've ever had a cameo shift)?
4/ How do you experience your alterhumanity in everyday life?
5/ What do you think of the community?
6/ What are the things that make you most comfortable and euphoric in your alterhumanity?
7/ Are you experiencing species dysphoria?
8/ What advice would you like to say to a young alterhuman who has just awakened?
9/ Do you have/want to have gears?
10/ Do you know/have any theories about the origin of your alterhumanity? If so, tell us! (all beliefs are legitimate)
11/ Tag someone/a creature to answer these questions!ㅤᵕ̈
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chaoticwriting · 3 days ago
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Danny X Cass Part 4
They arrive at the pantry in just a moment. Danny, Cass and the rest of the batfam go to take their seat while Clark and Diana go to make some teas and snacks. Danny and Cass sit beside each other with the other side of Cass being Spoiler. Opposite of Danny is Bruce while beside him are Nightwing and Robin. Red Robin takes a chair and sits right behind Batman while still taping on his wrist computer.
Batman, Nightwing and Robin keep staring at Danny while Clark and Diana prepare the snacks and teas but Danny doesn't look nervous at all. As much as Danny wants to take all of them seriously, he really can't when he knows what he knows.
A moment later Clark and Diana come with 2 trays of snacks and teas and put them on the table. They take a chair each and sit near the end of the table. Clark and Diana can feel the intense glares from 3 bats. Both of them glance at the target in question and they can see that the guy takes the glare with stride. It's like the person that is being glared at is someone else.
Suddenly, a loud ding sounded in the room. Danny takes out his phone and a grin spreads on his face. Danny shows the screen to Cass and she also releases a few giggles. Feeling the glares becoming more intense, Danny puts his phone on the table and lets everyone see what he is seeing.
On his phone is a selfie of Dan holding a bloodied Darkseid in one hand with a caption "Can't even give out a decent fight. Even Boxy is a better sparring partner than him." Another message entered Danny's phone and there is a selfie of Elle with Danny's clone bitch slapping Trigon in the background. "This place is so cool. You gotta bring me here to play more." Danny shows the rest of the heroes that the deed is done and they finally relax. Clark stands up from his table and goes back to the other room to inform the other heroes that the threat had already been taken care of.
Danny then puts back his phone and continues drinking his tea. Heh. They might think that they are being scary but they don't even know even now Danny is still flirting with Cass. That's one of the benefits of being able to read the opponent's body language and ghost speak. To others holding hands is just holding hands but to them, holding hands can be used to convey all of your emotions.
They stay like that for a while longer until Clark returns from the other room. Seeing Clark fully seated, Bruce finally speaks.
"Who are you really?" Bruce asks with the most intimidating voice he can use.
"Didn't I say? I'm Danny Phantom. High King of Infinite Realm etc etc. I have a lot of titles but the high King one is the only important one." Danny says carelessly.
"How old are you?" Bruce asks.
"20"
"Impossible." Red Robin suddenly interjects.
"Why is it impossible?" Danny looks curiously at him. He genuinely doesn't know why it is impossible.
"There are records of you all across time all the way back to the ancient human. There are even traces of you in multiple pantheons." Red Robin says.
"Oh, you mean that. Duh, it's easy. I time travel. It's quite easy to time travel when your pops is the master of time." Danny says.
"But didn't you say Clockwork hates when someone messes with time?" Superman asks.
"If there is a time traveler that messes with the timeline, who do you think will deal with the guy? It certainly ain't that old man. He sends me to deal with the time traveler/magician who are trying to change the timeline." Danny says.
"Is Clockwork your father then?" Diana asks.
"Adopted parents. He is my parents/mentor for anything ghost related. Well actually for most things related except personal human problems." Danny says.
"How long have you known Black Bat?" Nightwing asks. Finally the real question.
"Wait, I think 10 years now. You are 21 right Cass? I remember when I first met her she was being chased down by this weird ninja. After I shot a few of them down with my Fenton Taser, Cass handled the rest of them. She then passed out from exhaustion and I brought her to my secret hideout (A cave Danny found just then). After a few days, Cass fully recovered and since then, she and I have been meeting every few months whenever she comes around."
"Also, I know all of your real identity. The phrase 'Dead man tells no tales' is a complete bs by the way. The ghosts really like gossiping. Like that one time I heard a ghost say that he sees Bruce fall into the dumpster because his grappling hook is jammed. Or that one time Dick got catcalled by an old lady."
The bats (except Cass)froze when they hear that Danny knows their secret identity. Bruce sighs and takes off his cowl followed by the rest of the family.
"Do you also know my identity, Danny?" Clark asks.
"Yes, I know you Kal-el. Your parents are very proud of what you have become."
"You met Ma and Pa?"
"Your biological parents."
"You- you've met my parents?" Clark's voice shakes. Danny nods while smiling warmly.
"If you want, I can set up a meeting with your parents. Not for long of course. It's not good for a mortal to be inside the realm for too long. And that invitation extends to all of you."
Most of them stilled at that invitation.
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tillsfan · 1 day ago
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this new vivinos sketch got me thinking.
what if till was way more infatuated with ivan than we thought? what if the whole time, till was actually focused on the both of them, yet due to ivan’s low self worth and unreliable storytelling, we had a complete different perception of him. maybe he was more transparent about his feelings to the both of them.
it would be genuinely insane if when we finally get till’s pov of his life, we get so much more of ivan and much less of mizi than expected. like an even distribution.. main reason i’m thinking this is because of his comic, where he’s seen so much. more chill? around her
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he seems a lot more different than what we’d expect based off ivan’s perception of him. this is one of the only instances where his story has been told from someone outside of ivan. it’s very interesting to me.. they’re both pretty prevalent in his comic. they both were in his head. even though it was told by io, i think it’s still worth noting.
i fully believe till acted different and distant around ivan because of his guilt after the meteor scene, as he was likely ashamed of himself. convincing ivan that he wasn’t ever in till’s mind. maybe till felt he didn’t deserve ivan after the fact? i’m sure he was convinced that ivan hated him for it as well. till was probably DWELLING over what happened. it likely weighed him down a lot. in r6, he could’ve been so broken both because of mizi and because he was also going up against one of his loves, someone who tried to help him escape, but he went back on it. in r7, we also saw the meteor scene colors in his ivan flashback. the meteor scene is so heavily associated with ivan specifically, but we’ve seen till so affected by it in multiple instances. mostly in merch. but still.
maybe a lot of his actions were based off of ivan as well, and not just mizi. he’s been shown to be flustered around ivan on multiple occasions..
this is just a “what-if” scenario ramble. i just think it’d be very interesting if it was significantly more different than expected… very very curious for till pov of things. i wonder how much different it would be. we could see how ivan really ruined things for himself, seeing him inhabit till’s mind So Much more than we would’ve ever believed. not saying this is 100% what would happen at all! just ideas.. with how much they’re gatekeeping his pov, i wouldn’t be surprised if his pov completely changed our perception of his relationship with ivan, and till’s character as a whole.
anyways till bisexuality is so real We are so back.
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a few more sketches where till is shown to be flustered around ivan. they mean so much to me. ivan you are so clueless
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jiinxswife · 24 hours ago
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Jinx x fem!reader relationship headcanons
Ahhh, today’s post came out late because tumblr sucks and it didn’t post the writing, making me loose it all and have to write it all over again >:(
Complain to it
Warnings: SFW headcanons, spoilers season 2
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•you don’t catch her eyes, she’s too busy dealing with life to even think about a relationship, she catch yours
•it’s hard to approach her, really hard, principally after she becomes q Zaun hero. Everyone wants to hurt her, everyone wants to manipulate her, no one knows how she truly is, at least, that’s what she thinks
•has a hard time trusting you on the start, what would a stranger that she had never seen before want with her other then maybe status, money or the reward for her head?
•when you finally manages to approach her, just enough for her to let you spend some time with her, you two grow close rather fast. She’s touch starved, has no one to talk with, no one to share her ideas other then the voices of her old family, so she tells you about everything
•you probably are the one to ask for a relationship, she would never allow herself to get that vulnerable, and she says yes, even if she’s a bit confused about what she feels about you (don’t worry, soon she realizes that you’re the woman of her life and that she loves you)
•loves public display of affection, is there any better manner then to show to the whole Zaun that you genuinely love her? That she found someone that can love her as she is? Without trying to change her, without seeing her as Powder, but Jinx. If you start it by yourself or immediately contributes with her affection, she will get even happier
•as Said before, she loves public displays of affection, and as much as she loves your physical touch, she struggles to take it well sometimes, she will tense up and yelp when you start the affection stuff, blame that on her whole life, she would only get affection from dying people (silco COUGH COUGH) and when being manipulated (ALSO SILCO COUGH COUGH)
•will zone out sometimes, you will be cuddling her, dancing with her, whatever, and she will just stare at you, a frown forming on her face, her eyes expressionless, muscles tense, just waiting for you to hurt her. With time, these episodes become less
•isn’t vocal about her affection, she will never say “I love you”, not when you ask her out or even on your first time sleeping together, the closets you get of these three words are small, almost hidden “ily” ‘s written on gifts that she makes you
•talking about gifts, she shows how much she loves you by giving you gifts, so expect to have a room full of grenades and pistols that she made herself!
•will definitely ask you do to her nails, even if you suck at it, she just wants to feel your warmth
•follows you around when you leave, principally when the voices are louder, telling her that someone can hurt you, that someone can steal you, kill you. She makes sure you never know it though, she follows you from shadows
•please, wash her hair for her, it makes her feel so loved and cared for like she never was as a child
•if you like to whisper sweet things for her when she’s asleep and she finds out, she will definitely pretend to be asleep just to listen to you
Now, since im evil, let’s finish this with something sad. >:3
•expect her to either become sightly paranoid, defensive and somewhat even possessive once Isha dies or try to leave you completely, not wanting you to have the same destiny as everyone she ever loved.
•silco died, isha died, everyone she ever loved did, she will try her best to leave you, to protect you from her
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leona-hawthorne · 3 days ago
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okay i have been waiting for this on the edge of my seat and i'm so fucking grateful that i finally got to sit down and read it (alone, of course, because my reactions were quite literally animalistic)
let me also add that the warnings themselves had me fucking moaning—alright now let's get into this!!
zoya, your writing truly has me in complete awe. "english is not my first language" okay and it appears that that literally does not matter at all because this??? this was a goddamn masterpiece.
(apologies in advance bc this is going to be an extremely long reblog)
He was insane. Truly insane. Almost unhinged. Mattheo Riddle was the definition of impulsive thoughts turned into reckless actions, actions that always led him to trouble. He was raw, magnetic, and dangerously unpredictable, the kind of person who attracted attention without even trying.
okay, but this right here??? the way you captured mattheo's essence so perfectly, i’m obsessed. like, he’s not just reckless—he’s raw and magnetic, and that’s such a powerful way to describe someone who’s constantly teetering on the edge of chaos. it’s like you reached into his chaotic little soul and pulled out the perfect words. it’s giving “force of nature,” and the way you wrote it feels so vivid and alive, like i can see him and feel the tension he carries everywhere he goes. your writing is so sharp and evocative, i can’t stop rereading this bit.
He didn’t just attract trouble; he craved it, needed it like it was the only thing keeping him seen.
the truth was different: he thrived on attention, bad or good, as if he needed it to keep himself whole.
my babyyy, he craves trouble like it’s the only way he can feel noticed. it’s like he’s reduced his own worth to just being seen and perceived by others, even if it means chaos. love how you captured that desperation in such a short line.
every corner seemed like an unsettling, cavernous form that resembled a muggle abandoned cathedral. It felt sacred in a weird twisted way, as if it were built to bear the weight of sinful actions that were too heavy to confess elsewhere.
how do you set the tone so well?!? the imagery is wildly vivid—i can almost feel the heaviness of the space, like it’s got its own dark history!!
The only thing he knew for sure was that you almost had him entirely.
And for him, that was awful enough.
oh this killed me—the tension between wanting something and being terrified of it. mattheo’s vulnerability here is chef's kiss, showing how much he's fighting against his feelings, even when he’s almost lost to them. such a perfect snapshot of their dynamic.
He never quite understood why his heart raced when he was in your presence, as if it might break through his ribs, his flesh, and fall directly into your palms, fully out of his power. At times he couldn't help but press his hand against his own chest, trying to stop it, trying to hold it back, but it only frustrated him further.
Nevertheless, there were times when he nearly wished his heart would simply give way and land in your hands so you could do with it whatever you pleased, whether that meant crushing it entirely or holding it tenderly between your fingers.
okay i am genuinely so in love with this whole part, i had to reread it like 3 times 😵‍💫 the internal conflict is so palpable—like, he’s torn between wanting to control something that’s clearly already beyond his grasp, but also secretly wishing to surrender to the one person who can break him. the image of him physically pressing down on his chest to stop it??? i am actually crying, zoya. ugh, and the fact that he doesn't care whether he'd be hurt or cared for—he just wants her, FUCK he is obsessed.
This ritual, this moment—it was his, only his. Yet, for some reason, he felt a twisted satisfaction knowing he was going to share it with you.
AHDHSFG his possessive ass actually enjoying sharing something??? aw he likes her 😚🤗
Mattheo let out a low, almost manic laugh as his gaze remained fixed on the blade in his hand.
the way he kept laughing like a fucking maniac throughout the entirety of this fic OMG i can almost hear it in my head, he's so fucking hot.
his grip tightening around your hand, not to soothe you, but to remind himself you were still there
I'M BLUSHING, idk if he's doing that solely because of the ritual but either way, the fact that he wants to reassure himself that she didn't go anywhere is making my heart squeeze in my chest 🥹
Mattheo chuckled dryly, releasing your hand to stop you from gripping it, from finding any comfort in his presence.
BITCH??!?! YOU ASSHOLE, hold my hand i'm scared ☹️
He was an insensitive prick, but dear god, he was a beautiful one. 
this is so true—HE'S FUCKING MEAN, but i genuinely have never seen a more angelic man 😭🪽
Shit, you’re not wearing a bra.
Mattheo swore the zipper on his pants was going to break any second.
alr here we go (i'm horny now)
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Without a word he reached up and tugged his shirt over his head, casting it aside without care.
well shit, now we're both hard, mattheo!! 🤜💥🤛 (i am drooling at the thought of this rn)
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Your bare chests were almost touching, the air thick with tension, your hard nipples brushing just slightly against his skin.
no, you actually don't understand—this is so intimate, i can just imagine the silence and the only sound being their heavy ass breathing, its so 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 also i think i would lose my mind if my nips were like JUST BARELY brushing against him, what a tease
With a deep breath, you pressed the blade to your palm, hissing softly as the edge cut into your skin, making you feel even more bare and open than you already did.
idk if you've seen stranger things but this is making me think of when nancy and jonathan did the same exact thing and cut their palms. that scene and the matching scars and just them in general is so dear to me, so this is making me feel so many things rn
Without warning, his lips pressed against the spot, his tongue tracing the blood.
“It’s so sweet,” he murmured, his teeth grazing the skin of your neck, the crimson of your blood staining them as he pulled you closer, pressing you against him in a way that felt almost inhuman. “So fucking sweet.”
okay mr vampire!! (this is so fucking hot i am literally struggling to function rn and i am lucky i didn't read this during ovulation 🙂‍↕️)
Mattheo chuckled in satisfaction, bringing his bloodied hand to your stomach, the crimson spreading across your exposed skin like a mark. “You like it, don’t you?”
MY JAW DROPPED PLEASE OH MY GOD, HIM SPREADING THE COLD BLOOD ON HER STOMACH?? I CAN IMAGINE MYSELF JERKING AWAY OMF YES DADDY I LOVE IT
Mattheo chuckled again against your throat, his teeth sinking into the spot once more, making you moan. He mimicked the sound...
i'm being so serious, this part will live on in my brain forever. him MIMICKING/MOCKING HER MOAN??? HE'S SO MEAN AND COCKY HOLY FUCK THAT WAS SO HOT
he guided your hand to your neck, then down to your breasts, trailing the blood like a map. Before you could react to the sting of your hard nipple pressing against the cut, Mattheo moved faster, pulling your nipple—now smeared with your own blood—into his mouth. 
spreading her own blood all over her body just so he can lick it off, oml can you spread my legs open next, mattheo? 😇 (jk, they're already spread)
The way his hands pushed your now bloody breasts together enough for his head to dive between them as he continued to whisper praises, words of hunger.
“Your tits…”Mattheo moaned even louder, dragging a moan from your lips in response. Fuck, he was so close.
first, AJDGHFDJHDRFGJHAFGHJSRGFJHSRF him pressing her tits together just to SHOVE HIS FACE IN BETWEEN oh he's so down bad 🤭 also the "your tits..." BOY. he was so cocky and degrading before—now he's all pathetic and obsessing over her tits? ah, just what I love to see 😮‍💨
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“Open your mouth,” he commanded, an order you immediately understood. You obeyed without hesitation, and before you could react, he spat into your mouth and thrust his tongue inside, kissing you deeply.
yes sir please spit in my mouth (he's so nasty and disgusting and i fucking love him for it)
You could feel Mattheo’s cheeks pressed against your thighs as he buried himself in your pussy, suffocating himself in your scent and taste. He mentally begged some higher power to let him one day die like this...
YES PLEASE LET ME SUFFOCATE YOU BETWEEN MY LEGS MATTY PLS 🙏 "let him one day die like this" he is so obsessed god i love this so much
“Such a pretty one you are,” he muttered, his words slurring into the juices of your cunt.
THE WAY HE CAN'T TEAR HIS FACE AWAY EVEN JUST FOR A MOMENT TO SPEAK AJDGSGDFHSDFG i would actually be dying at all the praise
clearly, i got a little carried away with this reblog (this is literally the longest reblog i’ve ever made 🧍🏻‍♀️), but what can i say? this was 6.3k words of art and i had to include all my favorite parts 🤷‍♀️🙂‍↕️
love you zoya!!!! 🫂🤍
𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐎𝐍
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mattheo riddle x fem reader
SUMMARY. in which mattheo seeks power and needs your help to perform a blood ritual. WORDS. +6.3K. english is not my first language.
WARNINGS. smut, mdni, porn w//plot, mean mattheo, aged up characters, friends to fuck buddies, blood play, blood kink, cuts, spitting, nipple sucking, oral sex f!receiving, pussy drunk mattheo, handjob, dirty talk, biting, marking.
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navigation -> masterlist
He was insane. Truly insane. Almost unhinged. Mattheo Riddle was the definition of impulsive thoughts turned into reckless actions, actions that always led him to trouble. He was raw, magnetic, and dangerously unpredictable, the kind of person who attracted attention without even trying. Every move he made, every word he spoke, every breath he took was saturated with confidence and superiority.
He didn’t just attract trouble; he craved it, needed it like it was the only thing keeping him seen.
Mattheo was like a storm no one could outrun, an enigma without resolution, and that was exactly what made him so intoxicating. There was something in his presence that pulled people toward him, whether in admiration or fear, and no one could quite decide if it was for better or worse. He wasn’t just hard to ignore; he was impossible to overlook. He demanded attention simply by existing, and it was maddening, the way he could dominate a room with nothing more than a simple glance.
It could have been for a lot of reasons. Maybe it was the way he acted like he didn’t have a care in the world, the sharp, biting comments he always seemed to have ready, words that stuck like blood on stone.Or maybe it was the fights, the way he seemed to throw himself into them too often, always coming out with the same satisfied expression. After all, he was the only son of the Dark Lord, and that alone was enough to draw all kinds of attention.
Whatever was the reason, chaos seemed to follow him everywhere, like he thrived on it. Perhaps he didn’t care at all. No outsider really knew, and no one ever tried to figure him out. Nobody had the courage to do so.
Either way, there were always whispers about him, cruel rumors about his personality and massive ego, some saying he was just like his father, or maybe even a darker version of him, while others came from students eager to get close in obscene ways, hoping to spend a night with their bodies tangled in his. 
Yet Mattheo didn’t show that he cared, always pretending to be focused on his own goals, moving through the chaos unshaken and unbothered, though deep down, the truth was different: he thrived on attention, bad or good, as if he needed it to keep himself whole.
But you had seen enough to know the truth. He was cruel, ruthless, and everything people whispered about him, perhaps even worse. And yet, here you were, trapped in his chaos, each moment with him drawing you deeper into the darkness.
You were trapped. Absolutely trapped.
Perhaps it was in the way he looked at you, his deep brown eyes burning with an intensity that stole your breath away, leaving you struggling to keep your heart from racing, as if he saw something inside of you that you weren’t capable of seeing. Or maybe it was the way his words stayed in your mind long after they were spoken, carving their way into your thoughts like a knife you didn’t want to pull out, and no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t shake the feeling that you were already in too deep.
If you thought about it more, you didn’t know what had brought you here. The main factor to why you were so attracted to an ongoing fire.
Could be the adrenaline from his strange proposal, or the way you couldn’t stop thinking about him, his presence always glued to your mind. Could also be the need to be near him, the way your body moved toward his as if it had no will of its own, or perhaps it was the way he seemed to control your heart in a way you couldn’t even understand. It was twisted, even a little scary, but neither of you cared.
After all, you were friends.
You didn’t know when it stopped feeling like curiosity—just a lingering thought— but the doubt never really went away. Instead it became prominent, tight in your chest whenever he was around. There was something darker about him, something dangerous in the way he lived recklessly, only focused on his own desires, how he thrived on the attention he got, pulling you deeper without even trying.
And now, standing there, you couldn’t shake the feeling that whatever came next, there was no turning back. No escape.
The Room of Requirement was cloaked in dark shadows, the silence broken only by the faint hiss of flickering candles. Their soft, wavering light offered a fragile sense of comfort, though it did little to ease the tension hanging in the air. The atmosphere was thick and heavy, saturated with the acrid tang of burning incense and something darker, almost unspoken.
Torchlight flickered across the cold stone walls, making jagged patterns that twisted and stretched with each almost shiny flicker. That night, the requirement room felt weird, unlike the form other students seemed to used—every corner seemed like an unsettling, cavernous form that resembled a muggle abandoned cathedral. It felt sacred in a weird twisted way, as if it were built to bear the weight of sinful actions that were too heavy to confess elsewhere.
The faint metallic scent in the air lingered, sharp and heavy, mixed with something even more heavy, felt almost like a warning. On the stone floor, crude runes spiraled out in precise, jagged lines, their edges glowing faintly as though alive and energetic, pulsing in time with the biting silence as if they were watching, waiting to know what was about to take place.
In the center of it all stood Mattheo Riddle, the one person who seemed to take up every space in your mind, his dark robes draping loosely over his strong frame, giving him an effortless air of power, his features, defined and almost angelic, partially hidden by his messy curls that always fell into his pretty eyes.
The flickering torchlight danced off his hair with every movement, making it seem almost alive; there was something strange about how his appearance seemed almost angelic, yet you knew Mattheo’s true personality, making him all the more dangerous, like a trap just waiting for you to step in.
He could look still, even controlled, but there was nothing controlled about this. Nothing about him was controlled.
Mattheo looked at the dagger in his hands, his gaze drifting over the blade, but it wasn’t the dagger that had his attention. It was you. Your eyes were on him, and it felt like he was being torn apart with just that look. It wasn’t like the attention he was used to—no fear or admiration in it.
No, this was different. It was more like an assessment. The weight of your gaze was almost suffocating, as if you were digging into him, getting under his skin in a way that made him feel stupidly exposed and making him feel a strange sensation tighten in his chest, choking his throat in ways he couldn’t understand, and he hated it.
He hated how you made him feel like this—torn between wanting to get closer and wanting to run away from that. And even if it was good or bad; neither mattered. He didn’t want to know. The only thing he knew for sure was that you almost had him entirely.
And for him, that was awful enough.
He never quite understood why his heart raced when he was in your presence, as if it might break through his ribs, his flesh, and fall directly into your palms, fully out of his power. At times he couldn't help but press his hand against his own chest, trying to stop it, trying to hold it back, but it only frustrated him further.
Nevertheless, there were times when he nearly wished his heart would simply give way and land in your hands so you could do with it whatever you pleased, whether that meant crushing it entirely or holding it tenderly between your fingers. He wasn't certain which would provide him with greater comfort, but he was certain that if you gave him that satisfaction, he will never be the same again.
Mattheo sighed and shook his head rapidly, making a dramatic gesture as he attempted to avoid your concentrated, evaluating stare on him once more. He concentrated on the tiny silver dagger in his hand, trying not to hold it too firmly in his palm, but nothing could take away the sensation, and even if it didn't cause him any discomfort, the pressure that made it was obvious.
He let out another sigh, this time frustrated, rubbing his forehead, but couldn’t help releasing another, this time a relieved one, when he saw your attention shift to the two circles drawn around him, almost like some kind of illustration, and he couldn’t help but smirk knowingly as he noticed the change in your expression; at the confusion in your eyes and at your furrowed brows as you tried to make sense of the strange symbols, carefully etched inside the circles on the floor.
Mattheo looked away, quickly shifting his focus to the symbol at his feet. In comparison with the other symbols, this one was far more complex, with each line and curve being meticulous and precise. As he raised his chin in satisfaction with what he did, Mattheo couldn't help but widen his smirk into a full grin, an equal amount of pride and arrogance coming across his expression.
This ritual, this moment—it was his, only his. Yet, for some reason, he felt a twisted satisfaction knowing he was going to share it with you. Even though you were there not completely voluntarily, you still had a place in it, whether you liked it or not. 
This time, it was Mattheo who looked at you with an intense, almost predatory gaze, his hand tightening once more around the blade in his palm as he kept his eyes on you. He was already preparing to take the first step toward the power he would gain from what you two were about to do. All he needed was your final confirmation and for you to step into the middle of the circle with him.
“Are you ready for this?” His voice broke the silence, low and almost a purr, making you look up at him. Ready? Fuck no. In fact, you were terrified. Every part of you screamed to run, to get as far away from this room and this stupid ritual as possible. But your body didn’t listen to your brain. Your heart didn’t either. Instead, you stayed still, frozen, your eyes locked with his own, already filled with amusement and something darker, like a challenge. 
You knew this was stupid. Hell, it was almost suicidal. A ritual to give him more power, cutting your own hand, spilling your blood, mixing it with his just to make him stronger. It was madness. More than that, even.
But then again, a part of you wanted it. A part of you wanted to leave a piece of yourself with him, to bind yourself to him in some twisted way. And for some fucked-up reason, you craved that. You wanted to be marked by him, to have a part of you inside him forever. Mattheo had already carved his mark into your mind, into the darkest corners of your heart, and now you wanted to do the same.
Stupid curiosity.
“Well?” Mattheo asked again, his voice dripping with amusement, though you could hear the faint edge of annoyance creeping in. He tried to hold onto his usual confident, relaxed demeanor, but it was slipping. “What’s it gonna be?” The same damn question. You wouldn’t be stupid enough to make him ask a third time. 
“I…” You paused, your voice cracking, and you couldn’t help but curse yourself under your breath as you felt his gaze digging into you, waiting for the answer he wanted. “I think I’m ready,” you finally said, taking a step forward, ignoring the part of you screaming to get the hell out of there. Yet your body moved faster than your mind, and before you knew it, you took an unconscious step closer to him, making his eyebrow quirk in amusement. 
Mattheo raised an eyebrow, his smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth. “You think?” he repeated, his voice thick with mockery. He almost laughed; if it were not for the situation you two were in.
“Fuck—” you hissed under your breath, cursing yourself again, and Mattheo’s smirk stretched wider. “I’m ready.” You corrected yourself, the words tasting wrong. “I’m ready,” you said again, this time to convince yourself more than him.
Mattheo let out a low, almost manic laugh as his gaze remained fixed on the blade in his hand. The sound sent an unexpected shiver down your spine, and your cheeks flushed as his voice echoed in your ears. When he looked back at you, his eyes were softer than before, though the usual intensity remained, as if he was offering something that, despite not being comfort, somehow left you feeling relieved in a way.
He stretched his hand towards you, his voice calmer than before but still firm. “Let’s go. The sooner we start, the sooner this thing is going to end.” The sooner he would have control. Mattheo called you again, and you let out a soft sigh before taking that first step.
Each step you took was filled with hesitation, but your body didn’t seem to care. It moved toward the circle, fighting the doubt gnawing on your mind. When you finally stepped inside, you couldn’t hold back a small sigh as your hand found Mattheo’s. The touch sent a shiver down your spine, your cheeks flushing as you saw the same smirk on his lips, the reaction causing a tug on your heart. He didn’t need to say anything; you could feel how much he enjoyed this, how much he knew the effect he had on you.
Sometimes you wanted to punch him. 
As soon as you took his hand, Mattheo’s confidence wavered slightly; his heart pounded just by your touch. However, he couldn’t hide the dark amusement in his eyes as he watched your flushed cheeks and how your body betrayed you. It was too easy.
“This,” he said, gesturing to the intricate runes carved into the floor with the tip of his dagger, his grip tightening around your hand, not to soothe you, but to remind himself you were still there. “It’s going to hurt like hell.” He said it with such ease, as if the pain and the blood were just a minor part. You swallowed hard, the confirmation of what you already knew settling deep in your stomach. “At least for you,” he added with an eyebrow raised, his voice laced with amusement.
His words weren’t reassuring at all—not that you expected them to be. He didn’t care about calming you or making this easier to bear. That wasn’t his style, and it never had been. Mattheo thrived in chaos, in mess, and he wanted you to feel every bit of it. He wanted to pull you into the madness, to push you until you struggled to keep yourself together.
“You’re not exactly helping me calm down, you know?” you said through gritted teeth, barely stopping yourself from telling him to go fuck himself. 
Mattheo chuckled dryly, releasing your hand to stop you from gripping it, from finding any comfort in his presence. “Glad to know, sweetheart.” He said casually, like it didn’t matter at all. “But who said I want you to calm down?” he murmured, and you might have thought he was joking if it weren’t for the fact that you had known him for years.
You scoffed at his lack of sympathy. It wasn’t surprising, though; his attitude was one of the things that drew you to him, even if it wasn’t exactly healthy. You watched as he lit more candles, the flame dancing with every step he took, highlighting the sharp lines of his features. He was an insensitive prick, but dear god, he was a beautiful one. 
After a few seconds, Mattheo stood up, still holding the dagger in his hand. He glanced at you, and for a brief moment, something in his gaze made his heartbeat almost thud down his ribs. He took a few steps toward you, and your eyes met. His dark eyes were intense, unreadable, and the weight of the air between you made your stomach twist. Finally, he spoke, his voice low and steady, with a hint of mischief in his tone. The corner of his mouth twitched, the excitement creeping slowly.
“Take off your shirt.”
You blinked, shocked, and for a few seconds, all your fear vanished. “Excuse me?!”
Mattheo observed you, almost as if he were stripping you bare. “Your shirt,” he repeated, his tone annoyingly dismissive. He spun the dagger in his palm with flawless precision, taking a step closer as if your hesitancy pleased him. “Take it off,” he said almost coolly, as if it were the most ordinary thing in the world.
You crossed your arms, feeling your heart race as your face flushed with heat. “And why, exactly, do I need to do that?” You snapped, your voice sharp. You had fantasized a thousand times about Mattheo asking you to do this, but you never imagined it would actually happen, especially not now, in this situation. 
“For the ritual,” he said simply, tilting his head and giving you a smirk that bordered on taunting, as though the answer should’ve been obvious. “I need access to your skin, sweetheart. The magic won’t work otherwise.” His words were smooth, but you couldn’t shake the feeling they held a hint of mockery.
You hesitated, studying him closely. There was something about his response that didn’t sit right, too casual in a way that felt almost taunting, like he wasn’t being completely honest. “You’re making that up,” you said flatly, letting your arms drop to your sides, your eyes narrowing as you searched on his face for a sign of truth. 
His smirk widened, and he continued to twirl the dagger between his fingers, his eyes locked on you. The sight of your flushed cheeks only seemed to make him think with his other head. “Am I?” He took another step closer. 
“Please, Mattheo, I know that’s bullshit!” you spat out, trying to ignore how his smug expression made your skin heat, though particularly of you couldn’t help but consider it.
Mattheo let out a low chuckle, stepping closer, the tension between you nearly unbearable. His voice dipped, rough and almost deliberate, as his dark eyes shamelessly trailed down your body before locking onto yours again.
“Alright,” he murmured, a smile laying wickedly on his lips. “Maybe it’s not entirely necessary. But it helps. A lot.”
The dagger moved lazily in his hand, the sharp edge skimming his palm without cutting his palm. His gaze never left you, steady and intense, like a predator watching its prey. “And we both know you want this to work out, don’t we, sweetheart?” 
Your breath hitched in your throat at his words, a truth you hated to admit even to yourself. You wanted him to notice you—really notice you—the way his gaze seemed to strip you bare, peeling back layers you didn’t even realize you had. But the sharp flare of anger clawed its way up your chest, tangling with the strange pull he always seemed to have over you, leaving you somewhere between furious and helpless.
“Unbelievable,” you muttered, shaking your head, the disappointment cutting deeper than you wanted to admit. You weren’t sure if it was aimed at him or at yourself for falling into this moment—this trap. Probably both. 
“And yet,” he said, taking another step toward you, “here you are.” He mocked you, making you bite your tongue to stop yourself from telling him to fuck off. 
The space between you two was basically nonexistent now, and Mattheo fucking hated it. Hated that it was him moving closer, like he couldn’t help himself. Hated how his body had a mind of its own, reacting to you in ways that made him feel like an idiot. The thought of you, without your shirt, without anything, was driving him insane, his imagination running wild no matter how much he tried to shove it down.
Fuck. He could already feel the strain in his pants, his cock pressing uncomfortably against the fabric. It pissed him off—how easily you got under his skin, how fucking hard it was to keep his cool around you. 
“Fine,” you bit out, your voice rougher than you felt, and Mattheo’s smile twisted with satisfaction, practically waiting for you to do it. You exhaled sharply, trying to ignore the way his eyes were glued to you. Your fingers lingered at the hem of your shirt, heart pounding in your chest as you struggled to find the guts to go through with it. 
Mattheo’s smirk only deepened, his eyes never leaving you, and for a moment, it felt like he was inside your head, reading you like a damn book. His gaze dropped low, just enough to make your skin prickle with awareness. You seemed so fucking soft. “Need help?” he asked, voice dripping with mockery. 
“Shut up, Mattheo” you snapped, yanking the fabric over your head in one swift motion, a shiver running through your whole body. Shit, you’re not wearing a bra.
The second the shirt left your body, the air felt heavier, but you felt the coldness against your exposed skin and nipples. Mattheo’s expression shifted, his smirk slipping for a moment as his eyes scanned over you, taking in more than you were prepared to show. You cursed yourself for not wearing a bra under the thin fabric, your chest bare under the dim torchlight and his searing gaze. Mattheo swore the zipper on his pants was going to break any second.
You couldn't help but feel trapped by his piercing stare as his eyes remained on you, shamelessly tracing your hard nipples. He seemed oblivious; nonetheless, his eyes burned with need as his mind wandered, thinking about the taste of his tongue on your nipples, sucking and biting until all you could think about was the feel of his wet tongue. He held the dagger tightly, only reacting when the blade cut into his flesh.
“Well,” he began, attempting to put the thoughts flowing through his head to the back of his mind, his voice rougher than before, “guess you were more ready than we thought.” He mocked you again, but it seemed like he was also mocking himself.
You could feel your cheeks burning, a mix of anger and something else boiling inside you. You crossed your arms over your chest, trying to block him out, but the moment you saw the way Mattheo’s eyes were fixed on you filled with desire, your hands fell to your sides, betraying your own brain. You wanted this. You wanted him to see you, to really see you.
But as you realized you were staring at him in the same way, you quickly shook your head, trying to push down the desire and need, force some control back into your own voice. “Just get on with it,” you ‘snapped’, trying to hide how much it stung, how much you craved that attention. 
Mattheo’s smirk returned, but this time it was sharper, full with devilment. He took another step toward you, his eyes never leaving yours, and gestured toward the circle with a lazy flick of his hand. “As you wish.”
His expression didn’t shift, his confidence simmering just below the surface as he stepped even closer to you, trying not to look at your bare chest. His eyes flickered to the symbols on the ground, their faint glow reflecting in the depths of his gaze. Without a word he reached up and tugged his shirt over his head, casting it aside without care. He didn’t look at you but still waited for your reaction. You had already drawn one from him—only fair if he returned the favor, right?
You, on the other hand, swallowed hard, your gaze shamelessly tracing the lines of his abdomen and bare, muscular chest. The candles and torchlight cast sharp shadows across the scars etched into his skin, and you held your breath without meaning to. When he glanced forward slightly, his eyes still on the ground as he did so, he had to stifle a chuckle at the sight of your clenched fists, trying to control yourself.
This was going to be fun, at least.
For a brief moment, neither of you spoke or moved. The silence stretched thin, both of you consumed by the same thoughts, the same dirty images racing through your minds. Your chests rose and fell heavily, both of you struggling to regain a normal breath. It was fucking madness. 
Mattheo quickly composed himself, standing at the point of the small symbol on the ground, making sure you mirrored his position on the opposite side. Your bare chests were almost touching, the air thick with tension, your hard nipples brushing just slightly against his skin. He gave a low sigh, words slipping from his lips in a language you couldn’t understand, his voice deep and commanding.
As soon as the words left his mouth, the symbols on the floor pulsed to life, glowing with an eerie light, while the candle flames flickered wildly, as though responding to his words. 
He looked at the dagger in his hand, a proud glint in his eyes before letting his gaze drift up to your face. His eyes lingered on your features, the softness of your eyes, the way your lips parted just enough to drive him insane. He almost couldn’t stop himself from reaching out to touch you, but he stayed still, his jaw tight. “Are you ready?” he asked, his lips moving without sound. “I am,” you mouthed back, the hesitation in your eyes impossible to miss. But he ignored it, choosing to focus on the way you stood there—no turning back now, and honestly? He didn’t want you to cover up. 
Mattheo gripped the dagger with steady hands, his brown eyes flickering briefly to the runes as if making sure everything was aligned. Without a second thought, he pressed the sharp blade to his palm, slicing through the skin with quick, practiced precision. The blood surged from the cut, dripping thick and dark onto the glowing runes below. They reacted violently, flaring brighter, more alive, as if the blood was feeding the symbols, feeding him. 
You held your breath, knowing you were next. But you couldn’t stop yourself from glancing at the ground, watching his blood drip onto the floor beneath both of your feet.
After a few seconds, he lifted his chin, pride in his eyes, his curls moving like the magic around the circles. He grabbed your hand without a word, pressing the dagger into your palm, his gaze never leaving yours. He was waiting, daring you to cut yourself just like he had. 
You felt his blood drip onto your wrist, the warmth of it sending a jolt through your veins. As the dagger pressed into your palm, a breath caught in your throat. The weight of the blade was more than you expected, and for a moment, your eyes lingered on the crimson stains left by Mattheo’s cut, almost hypnotic, tempting you.
Your heart quickened, your pulse echoing in your ears. You hesitated—for a moment. His eyes found you once again, a look that urged you to continue. The hesitation lingering in your heart suddenly dispersed; you wanted nothing but to mark him as yours.
With a deep breath, you pressed the blade to your palm, hissing softly as the edge cut into your skin, making you feel even more bare and open than you already did. The pain was sharp, fleeting, quickly replaced by the blood spilling down your skin, as the runes reacted violently to your action, their glow flaring in response. 
It was instantaneous. The moment your blood touched the floor, the room seemed to exhale, the light flaring brighter and the air humming with a charged, almost electric energy as the ritual began. But the reaction was brief, for Mattheo’s focus shifted.
Mattheo’s gaze was fixed on the cut on your hand, his eyes wide and unblinking, as if he was mesmerized by the crimson blood streaks trailing down your wrist, mingling with his the drops of his blood already on your skin. His jaw clenched, and you swore you saw him swallow hard as he continued to look, his chest rising and falling with a depth of intensity you’d never seen in him before. 
“Mattheo?” You called softly, your voice barely above a whisper, your heartbeat quickening against your bare chest. Yet, it was enough to break his attention.
His eyes naturally met yours once again, vulnerability flickering in his gaze, though the rest of his expression remained unreadable, like a contrast to the hunger simmering beneath. But Mattheo didn't step back. Instead, his calloused fingers brushed against the blood on your wrist, smearing it slightly. The contact sent a jolt through you, and for a moment, neither of you remembered how to breathe.
“Mattheo…” you called out again, but this time it was almost a plea for him not to stop. He obeyed your unspoken request, his fingers tracing your skin as if exploring new territory, so gently that it almost made you forget the lingering sting in your hand. 
Mattheo’s hands moved deliberately, spreading the blood from the deep cut on your hand. He seemed oblivious to the matching wound on his own skin as he dragged the crimson trail up to your neck, smearing it across your skin. Without warning, his lips pressed against the spot, his tongue tracing the blood. He let out a low groan at the taste, and you couldn’t suppress your own when you felt the warmth of his tongue against you. 
“It’s so sweet,” he murmured, his teeth grazing the skin of your neck, the crimson of your blood staining them as he pulled you closer, pressing you against him in a way that felt almost inhuman. “So fucking sweet.” His teeth continued to drag along your skin, while his hand slid down your arm, seeking more of your blood. His fingers tightened around your palm, squeezing to draw out more of the liquid, making you groan in a mix of pain and pleasure as the burn surged through you. 
“Shhh, it’s okay, sweetheart,” Mattheo whispered, biting your neck, his teeth sinking into your skin painfully. He didn’t care about the grunt of pain that escaped your lips, not when more blood joined the one already staining your throat. Right after his first bite, you moaned, your thighs rubbing together in an attempt to ease the wetness in your cunt. 
Mattheo chuckled in satisfaction, bringing his bloodied hand to your stomach, the crimson spreading across your exposed skin like a mark. “You like it, don’t you?” he murmured against your throat, pressing his lips to the marks he had left with his teeth. But when he noticed you hadn’t answered, he bit your neck harder than before and squeezed your stomach, causing more blood to spread across the area. 
You swallowed hard, locking eyes with him as you tried to form a sentence, but the only words that escaped your lips were a barely audible, “Yes, fucking yes,” which only made him laugh harder. He tightened his grip on your skin, sending a sharp sting through your own body. 
“Of course you do… such a fucking slut,” Mattheo chuckled again against your throat, his teeth sinking into the spot once more, making you moan. He mimicked the sound, feeling his pants tighten around his cock as he tasted your blood again on his teeth. His tongue throbbed with desire, savoring the metallic taste. Holy shit, he could cum just from the taste of your blood. “But you taste so damn good.” 
He seemed to have completely forgotten the ritual, and you, too, had let it slip away. You didn’t want to remember, not when his blood stained your skin, not when your own blood marked him, and not when his mark lingered on you. 
Mattheo pulled back slightly, looking at your state and the way your plush lips were parted as you stared at him, your eyes filled with the same desire he showed. 
Without warning, Mattheo grabbed your cut hand with the one resting on your stomach, his blood mingling with yours as he guided your hand to your neck, then down to your breasts, trailing the blood like a map. Before you could react to the sting of your hard nipple pressing against the cut, Mattheo moved faster, pulling your nipple—now smeared with your own blood—into his mouth. 
You let out a loud moan as you felt his tongue teasing the tips of your bloodied breasts, the taste of your blood on his tongue making him swirl around your breast more eagerly. The sensation only made him harder beneath his robes, each moan of his growing louder as he savored the taste of you. 
You were lost in the pleasure of his mouth, concentrated with the way his tongue lapped like a hungry animal. The way his hands pushed your now bloody breasts together enough for his head to dive between them as he continued to whisper praises, words of hunger. You didn’t hear nothing but the sounds of his mouth nor saw how he desperately reached for release, your body causing him to react out of character.
“Fuck...” he murmured, his hand releasing the softness of your skin as he reached down towards his pants. Fast, uncoordinated, he released his cock from the restraints, his bloody hands wrapping around his cock that dripped with precum. His movements grew faster, driven by the growing intensity of the taste of blood on his tongue.
You looked down, catching a glimpse through the small crease of his neck as he dragged his palm over his hard cock while sucking on your nipples. You couldn’t help but moan louder, your bloody hand gripping his shoulders as you tried to ignore how your body was responding—the wetness between your legs that you knew he could feel. 
“Your tits…”Mattheo moaned even louder, dragging a moan from your lips in response. Fuck, he was so close.
“Fuck, your blood tastes so fucking good.” He moaned louder, and as he sucked harder on your nipples, his mouth closing around the bud tighter. Your chest was now covered in his bites, the marks of Mattheo Riddle, almost like a sign of ownership. Your body quivered against his hold, rubbing pathetically against him as you felt the tingle flutter in your stomach. You were close, lost in the daze, you had no idea whether it was from pleasure or the lost of blood—or both. You were desperately clinging to his shoulders, his name falling from your lips like a spell.
The hold on his length tightened in his hand, and he came instantly. Another hoarse moan escaped his throat, and he pulled away from your chest for a moment, gasping for air. You gripped onto his shoulders once more, your eyes rolling to the back of your head. So sudden, so quick you fell against his hold as your body convulsed with pleasure.
Mattheo leaned against you, allowing himself a moment to relax. But when he noticed the blood still running down your throat from where he had placed your hand, he couldn’t help but let out a growl. He yanked your hair back harshly, making you gasp and exposing your throat, your scream barely escaping as he did so. 
“Mattheo…!” You tried to speak, but he didn’t care; he never did. He only pushed you further against him, your nipples pressed against his bare chest as he licked your throat, letting out another groan as he tasted the metallic flavor again. His tongue traced the line of your throat, dragging the blood up to your chin, before he licked it off obscenely, making you sigh at the sensation. 
Mattheo’s hand in your hair tightened, and in one swift motion, he turned you onto your back, pulling your hair even harder as your back arched against him. “Open your mouth,” he commanded, an order you immediately understood. You obeyed without hesitation, and before you could react, he spat into your mouth and thrust his tongue inside, kissing you deeply.
The kiss was rough and erotic, the fire burning from the inside making it impossible to avoid it. You could taste your own blood on his tongue, and it only made your cunt wetter, the intensity overwhelming. It was too much—more than you’d ever imagined.
You had pictured moments like this, where you and Mattheo would kiss, tasting each other’s tongues, but this was different. It wasn’t the fantasy you had dreamed of; it was raw, wild, and rougher than anything you could have ever anticipated. His teeth clashed with yours, and your tongue tangled with his, as he unleashed his most primal side. He was giving you a taste of the part of you he had consumed, and you were trapped, just as you always would be.
You didn’t care about the pain in your scalp, only the hand that held you.
Mattheo’s hands were rough, touching everything he could. His mouth marking you over and over as he swallowed every small noise you released. He was warm, too warm, a sting feeling in your mouth as he sucked and bit into your lips, the softness of your skin tethering as his mouth was once again filled with the sweetness of your blood.
He was about to lose his mind.
Mattheo sighed against your now split lip, “Stop me… Tell me to stop, and I will.” He wouldn’t; you both knew it.
You held him against you tighter; you were already too deep into him—all you wanted was to devour him, mark him enough to show everyone he belonged to you, only you. You wanted to inflict a pain he would never forget, a pain similar to the pain he caused you, so you did. Your hands wrapped around his neck, your mouth tracing his lips, then his cheeks, then suddenly the warmth of his neck. Mattheo gripped you hard; he made no sudden movement, anxiously awaiting your motive. You bit into his neck, sucking the flushed skin as your teeth marked him with the same strength he did to you. 
Another soft flow came into your mouth, you gasped, the metallic taste odd in your mouth but enough to send your heart thundering.
Mattheo whimpered, his dominant facade slipping as he sickly enjoyed the way you took control. You were so sweet, so delicate—you were completely the opposite. The idea he corrupted you twisted a sick, powerful thought in his brain. You were his. 
Your tongue reached towards his mouth again, finding yourself eye to eye with the man you wanted nothing more than to control. “Don’t ever stop; I need you.”
Mattheo grinned, his lips bloody, his brown eyes becoming dark as he suddenly pushed you towards the runes that glowed against your body. The symbols glowed, vibrating with the blood that dripped onto it. As he stood over you, he wished to capture the moment forever. You looked so fucking pretty.
He leaned over, his knees staining with the blood smeared against the cold tiles. His fingers moved quickly, desperately. He watched as your body spoke to him, reacting to every touch. Your breasts covered in his marks, his blood and yours on them that caused his cock to twitch violently.
He wanted more than the taste of your breasts; he wanted to taste the juices that gathered in the silk of your panties. He wanted to feel the way your cunt twitched and throbbed against his mouth, and damn, did he want nothing more than to have you fuck yourself on his tongue. The sweetest angel from Hogwarts all displayed for him, to hell with the ritual; now he just wanted to swallow you whole. 
Without warning, he hoisted your legs onto his shoulders with an almost violent urgency, a deep moan escaping his lips as he leaned closer to your wet pussy. The intoxicating scent filled his senses, making his bloodied hand tighten around your thigh, gripping it as if commanding you to choke him; a command you had no intention of disobeying.
Mattheo looked at your face, the dried blood around your parted lips, your cheeks flushed from everything he was doing to you, and your dilated pupils watching him anxiously. “You’re so fucking beautiful,” he murmured, and you instantly bit your lip. Fuck, he was about to get hard again. 
“Please, I need you, Mattheo,” you begged, rubbing your hips desperately, trying to get closer to his flushed face. You needed his mouth, and he was more than willing to be a good friend and give you exactly what you wanted. 
“No need to beg like a slut, sweetheart,” he said, moving closer to your pulsing cunt, the light from the dunes making your wetness glisten even more. You held your breath as his warm breath ghosted over your slick folds. “I’m eager to give you what you want,” he murmured, leaning even closer, his nose brushing against your arousal as he took in your scent. Just as you were about to beg him to do something, his tongue was quicker—teasing, tasting, and finally giving in to the need to lick you.
Mattheo followed his instincts and hunger, his palms gripping your thighs even tighter, leaving bloodstained marks on your skin just as he had on the rest of your body. The sting of his own cut burned with the pressure, but he didn’t stop, sliding his hands to your hips as his tongue moved swiftly against your folds, savoring and memorizing every inch of you.
You could feel Mattheo’s cheeks pressed against your thighs as he buried himself in your pussy, suffocating himself in your scent and taste. He mentally begged some higher power to let him one day die like this—only after his hunger was completely satisfied. Your back arched, heat swirling in your stomach as Mattheo licked your pussy with reckless desperation.
He was ravenous, savoring every part of you, and when your nails dug into his scalp, he let out another growl, pushing himself even deeper between your legs, making you moan even louder.
“Fucking yes, sweetheart,” he murmured against your pussy, sucking harder as your cries of pleasure filled the room. “Keep moaning like a slut, keep saying my name.” He bit down on your flesh, making you moan even louder, your legs trembling around him. He chuckled darkly, the vibrations of his laughter sending shocks through your body and making you cry out even more.
Fuck the ritual, fuck the power—the only power he craved was the power he held over you.
“Mattheo,” you moaned even louder, rocking your hips against his face as your fingers tangled in his hair, pushing him closer. “Right there, oh my—!” you cried out, feeling him lose himself between your legs, consumed by his thoughts and the blood still staining his lips.
Mattheo’s fast, steady movements continued, his almost feral tongue lapping at your cunt as his hands roamed your body. He could feel his cock harden at the sound of your sweet moans. Fuck, the taste of your blood mingled with your arousal was divine—almost too much for him to bear. 
He continued kissing your clit, desperate to savor your full taste, his tongue messily exploring your folds, drinking in every drop he could. All you felt in the moment was him. The sounds muffled as if underwater. Your fingers dug into his scalp, causing him to flick his tongue against your bud faster, his fingers circling it, his grin plastered with pride as he heard you cry loudly.
“Such a pretty one you are,” he muttered, his words slurring into the juices of your cunt.
You only released a jumble of words, your bare back arching as you squirmed beneath him. You were on the edge, and you could feel it—both of you could. The anticipation was electric, and you were both eager for the release. All he wanted was to make you cum.
“Come on, sweetheart,” he murmured against your folds, the scent of your cunt making him dizzy. “Come for me.” No sooner had the words left his mouth than you let out a final scream, the orgasm hitting you hard as your body arched, feeling your cum dripping from your pussy.
Mattheo groaned against your cunt once more, lapping at your release as he lost himself in your flavor. Quickly, he grabbed your cut hand, spreading its blood over your pussy to mix with the cum. When he felt it was enough, he ran his tongue over your folds, savoring the metallic taste of blood combined with the sweet remnants of your orgasm, only stopping when not a drop remained, and you pushed him away.
The runes still flickered on the ground, glowing brighter with the smell of your release in the air. Blood stained both your bodies, marking each other, marking the new connection between you that neither of you wanted to escape. Mattheo stood there, watching you, his brown eyes observing, shining with pride watching your state. His eyes traced the blood on your skin, lingering on the cut on your hand, before meeting your eyes again. 
“We didn’t finish the ritual,” you managed to say, your voice soft, timid once again compared to the wildness you held as you let Mattheo control you, your body still shaking from one of the best orgasms you ever experienced.
Mattheo’s smirk grew, just a little as he continued to look at the mess he had done. “It’s fine, sweetheart. We can always try again.”
He was right; after all, friends helped each other.
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© 𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚝₂₀₂₄ — 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚍𝚘 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚙𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚜𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝚖𝚢 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚎𝚕𝚜𝚎.
— please be nice, it’s 4 am it probably has some mistakes!
likes and reblogs are appreciated 🫶🏻
also a big thank you for my favorite beta readers @earth4angels & @astrxq , without them i couldn’t write all this!! i love you both off you forever
venting: sometimes, i hate english because my hard lines in portuguese don’t make sense and seem so repetitive :(
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tenderleavesbob · 2 days ago
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This turned out more bittersweet than originally planned. Still. Merry Christmas!
Warriors called Lana “sweet” and “a friend” and never said a bad word about it, but Legend couldn’t help but be leery of the blue-haired sorceress. Warriors spoke kindly of her, but Legend saw how he didn’t linger near her. He watched how Lana stared after Warriors and how General Impa glared at her every time.
There was also something familiar about her. Something terrifying. Like there was something vast hidden in her slender body. Legend didn’t like it.
He also didn’t like how Lana was watching Warriors now. Legend sat on the stone wall several feet away from her and observed his brothers. Time was stretched out on the grass, resting his weight on his palms with his long legs extended in front of him. Warriors was teasing Wind. He would ruffle his hair and dodge away when Wind tried to retaliate.
“The timeline was broken,” Lana said quietly, breaking the silence between them. She didn’t look away from Warriors. Despite the power Legend felt radiating from her, the longing in her eyes was all too human. “The war was awful, but we were able to use it to bind the timelines together into something whole. The Hero of the Wild comes from the united timeline.”
Legend hummed but said nothing. She waited, as if expecting a response. When none came, she continued.
“It made me think that maybe the Lady Hylia planned it,” Lana said. “Or one of the goddesses had. Maybe more. They don’t talk to me anymore.”
Anymore. Legend filed that away.
In front of them, Wind had successfully tackled Warriors into the grass. Warriors was yelling about his hair while Time sat up to clap. Wind crowed with victory. It made Legend’s heart ache, reminded him of simpler times.
“I think it was more than just that now,” Lana continued softly. She nodded at the trio. “Link… the other heroes from the other timelines helped him, but he could have won on his own. It would have been harder, but he could have done it. I thought for a long time that the other heroes were sent to help him, but now I wonder if it was so Link could help them.”
Legend looked sharply at her. She hunched her slender shoulders. She didn’t look back at him. She continued, her voice quieter than ever, “I think Link was given a different duty during the war. And now. The Hero of Time. The Hero of Wind. He taught them so much during the war. I didn’t see it then, but I see it in the Hero of Time now. I wonder how differently he would have been without Link’s love and guidance. He’s an adult now and will be the father of a great guideline. He was a great warrior as a child, but someone capable of that?” She smiled sadly. Her eyes followed Warriors like she couldn’t bear to look away. “The Hero of Wind is also destined for greatness. I have to wonder how much of that was aided by Link’s teachings and guidance?”
Legend bit the inside of his cheek and looked back at the trio. Warriors was sprawled in the grass, Wind still triumphantly on his torso. Legend knew and he knew Time knew that the only way Wind could have dropped Warriors was with his consent. Based on the pride shining from Wind’s face, he didn’t know, and no one was going to tell him. 
When Time listened to no one else, he listened to Warriors. When he grew tense and angry, Warriors calmed him like Twilight calmed Epona. 
Legend hadn’t thought about it before, but now he wondered.
“I think it was never about them helping him,” Lana said. “I don’t think I’ll ever know for sure. I don’t have the eyes to see anymore.”
“Maybe,” Legend said pointedly, “it’s because you keep staring in the wrong direction.”
Lana flinched and at last looked away from Warriors. Legend couldn’t feel guilty for it. Not when Warriors looked away from Wind and saw Lana there. Not when his brother’s smile faltered and his ears flattened. Wind poked his shoulder and Warriors turned to him with a bright smile, but it didn’t look so genuine anymore.
“Bad things happen when people lose sight of their responsibilities,” Legend said, voice hard with warning. Her power reminded him of the Oracles. He placed it, but it didn’t make him feel any better. It did nothing to soothe the new weight on his shoulders.
“Yes,” Lana said quietly. “They do. Have a good day, Hero of Legend.” She bowed her head at him and got up. Legend tensed when she looked back over her shoulder one more time at his brother, but Warriors didn’t look back. Without a word, Lana walked away.
Legend caught Time’s eye. Time nodded once at him. In silence, they turned back to watch their laughing brothers. There was a horrific story there between the four. Legend didn’t know, and with the memory of the shadows in Warriors’s eyes, he knew he wouldn’t ask.
He would pay more attention, though. It turned out that Warriors held more secrets than he ever could have thought.
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wallflowergirl2006 · 2 days ago
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Ice skating with your penguin hybrid lover.
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CW: None
‧₊˚🎄✩ ₊˚🐧⊹♡
Ice skating with your penguin hybrid lover can be either really fun and enjoyable or very embarrassing. When you’re first starting out he very much teases you in a playful manner. Like if you don't have good balance he will tease you and call you names like clumsy, stumblebum, awkward, etc.
He is very much an expert on the ice and will give you tips on how to loosen up and glide elegantly on the ice just like him. If you do end up falling on the ice. [Like me 😭] He will rush to your aid. His little snowflake just got hurt. He immediately checks for injuries only for you to tell him that you’re fine. He tries to check if you're putting on a front so you don’t look bad but when he sees you're genuinely fine he relaxes. He’s still kinda worried so he skates alongside you. It kinda feels like a mother hen looking over her baby chick.
The little chicks follow after the two of you happily sliding on the ice. Some of them are on their bellies, some are on their feet. But they happily greet you and your lover as they skate on by. The other female penguins also give good tips while passing by much to your boyfriend's dismay. He wanted to be the one to teach you, not someone else but you reassured him that you do not want to fall on your butt again. He begrudgingly accepts the help from the other female penguins.
Once you finally get the hang of it without needing his help you two start trying to do poses and without even knowing you two won a couples contest. The two of you then proceeded to start a random snowball fight with the little penguin babies. Which resulted in the kids winning cause it was 4 against two which then turned into a 6 v 2. The two of you end the day at home curled up on the couch with hot chocolate and some soft christmas music.
�� ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ 。
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Merry Christmas!!🎄🎁 [And happy holidays to people who don’t celebrate! 🎉]
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frannyzooey · 20 hours ago
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You, and this fic, own me.
This chapter had so much to give!!! I thought it was going to be pure filth and then you hit me with that ending, and I am fucking yearning for these two so goddamn bad (while also being so out of my mind aroused --)
There were so, so many good parts in this one, like the way my mouth fucking dropped open at this:
“Just another reason that maybe you should be inside that church, rather than suckin’ dick in its parking lot."
and THIS:
And so help you god, he’s wearing his tool belt. 
But THIS -- this took the fuckin' cake:
“Then play ‘house’ with me,” you purr, dragging your fingers through his hair. “You can be daddy,” you stroke down his cheek, over his lips, “I can be mommy. And you can try and put a baby in me.”
I was literally levitating at this line. ROCKETING TOWARDS THE MOON!! I was also so in love with how light and free and fun their fucking and teasing was -- the way they just slide into role play like it's no goddamn thing had me grinning ear to ear
Annnnnnnnnd then you hit me with the emotions:
The discordance stirs in your stomach. Right now, you’re actually witnessing the loving-husband-turned-infidel façade weave its way through his marriage. He’s asking her to leave…for you. To free up time to be with you. Under the guise of caring for her. 
You wish it made you feel worse. It just feels…uncomfortable to actually view firsthand.
I literally cannot even imagine what it would feel like to witness the deception happening first hand, and it's something that a lot of cheating fics don't explore? (and I should know 😌)...the way you treated this scene was literal perfection because you brought so much nuance to his emotions. He's being deceptive, but not a manipulative gross creep like this situation is often portrayed. He genuinely hurts....yet does it anyway. I'm obsessed with this scene because you're doing such a good job extending Joel, as a man, the same grace that people often give to the reader in these types of stories. They empathize with the reader feeling bad but doing it anyway, but they often villainize the man, or assume he doesn't feel as bad, ya know? Anyway, just me waxing on about your beautiful brain ❤️
I had all these amazing thoughts about your writing skills....and then they all leaked from my brain when I read this:
You: Yours is the only mouth I want sucking on these titties right now, daddy 👅
You fix your sweater and peer back through your peephole, just to see his face collapse in arousal, grinding the heel of his palm over the crotch of his jeans.
I know the desk fucking scene was so taboo and so filthy, but I felt so, so fucking soft when he said this:
setting the frame down in front of you before yanking your hair at the root and slamming his hand down next to the photo. “You stare at that girl while daddy’s tearin’ apart your slutty little asshole. Remind her that she deserves better than that piece a’shit.”
I live for this line 😭😭
And then this -- this -- was perfection:
“Baby,” he takes your face in his hands again, his expression edging on broken. On your behalf. “What has this fuckin’ monster done to you? My girl from the bar, she knew what she was fuckin’ worth. And she’d let you know it. She came first, and she didn’t apologize for it or accept anything less. What did he do to that fuckin’ girl?”
“Maybe it wasn’t all him."
I could literally envision the look on his face when she said that. What a fucking LINE, Katy and then to have it followed with her speech about how Jack isn't a monster, he's just a man??
The way you are out here giving the depth to this trope that it needs has me SAT and quite frankly, green with envy
This chapter was so fucking good 💀💀💀 ily ❤️
Good Neighbors | (joel miller x f!reader) (18+)
Part Three of Four
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✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧A fic inspired by Fortnight by Taylor Swift✧˖°✧˖°✧˖°✧
Part One | Part Two
summary: your affair with joel heats up with a week of uninterrupted bliss. warnings/tags: [18+ MINORS DNI] no outbreak!au, age gap (joel is 48, reader is 32), joel x ofc (no sexual content), reader x omc (pitiful sexual content), infidelity, daddy!kink, fingering, unprotected PIV, unprotected anal, oral (m! and f!receiving), degradation!kink, praise!kink, brief roleplaying, unashamed sexualization of the term "kiddo", discussions of SA and domestic abuse, marital discussions regarding mismatched desires on having children, reader struggles with body image as a result of her abusive husband, unhealthy/toxic age gap marriage. this chapter is a much needed break from Jack. immersion notes: reader has hair, wears dresses/makeup, and is considered a "trophy wife" type. additionally, reader is specifically implied to be conventionally thin. apologies to anyone for whom this kills immersion for, but it felt very necessary in the context of the story. word count: ~11.6k a/n: wanted to give the lovebirds a little part that's primarily fun times before shit hits the fan <3 So there will be one more chapter!
Available Only to Registered Users on AO3
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rootspiral · 1 day ago
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hello! i’m thinking about The Hug again and how much the way agatha embraces rio looks like for a while there her primary goal it just to comfort rio. then the situation flips again so quickly but the way she cups the back of rio’s head and pulls her in and rio melts is so- anyways idk where i’m going with this but i’ve always found this scene so interesting because i feel like agatha is exuding tenderness and protection for rio and it’s so very different from the way she acts around her in the rest of their scenes together, i don’t really know what to make of it. do you have any more thoughts on that, aside from what you’ve shared in the deep dives etc?
I think that around the campfire and during the HUG Agatha was letting herself feel - maybe for the first time since Nicky died - sorry for Rio. And Agatha is by no means an empathetic person, some of it is nature but she also very much doesn't want to feel sorry for others, that would make all the serial killing a tad more difficult, you know? It's no surprise that she empathizes the most with Wanda and Billy who are so similar to her, she's self-centered like that!
When it comes to Rio, Agatha is making an active choice to hate her, to cast her as the villain who took Nicky, because the alternative is blaming herself or blaming no one at all, and then what? She'd be alone with her guilt and sorrow, and she can't have that.
(It's interesting that if you put Agatha in a situation where she doesn't blame Rio and she's allowed to grieve freely you get detective Agnes. Who's still a mess and still has some very unhealthy coping mechanisms, but when she doesn't associate Rio with Nicky? Her true feelings, that sappy romantic yearn, really start to show.)
Let's see what Agatha went through just before the HUG (I really like to call it that in all caps). She learned about Lorna Wu using the Ballad to save her daughter. She almost lost Billy and cried in front of the others. She then had a moment of genuine bonding with Billy. Around the campfire, she experienced a rare sense of community and connection. As a result she was more vulnerable than usual, more open and tentatively receptive to other people. In other words, she was exercising her long atrophied empathy muscle.
I really think that Rio opening up and talking about Nicky caught Agatha off guard. Not because she didn't know that Rio was in pain too, it's more like she'd always refused to acknowledge it or linger on it.
And look, despite all, these two really, truly, deeply love each other. Rio was Agatha's person, the only one she ever opened up to, her partner, her whole support system. Agatha has accidentally let herself feel these old familiar feelings and now her heart is melting for Rio. The hug is a a rare moment of selfless love from Agatha, it's "I see you too and I miss you and I'm sorry."
And then she flips it over because of course she does. If you think about it, it's exactly what happened when she killed Alice. Because Agatha is always so starved, the moment a treat is within reach she can't help herself, her body reacts before the mind can stop it. And just like that giving becomes taking. It's what Agatha does.
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gldnstrngs · 3 days ago
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thoughts post merlin season finale rewatch for the anniversary:
(let me preface that ive never cried to the finale despite me watching it twice and rewatching arthurs death scene several times— i definitely got emotional but never cried)
1.) …so i cried… from the beginning of the episode… i just hated how gwen never got a proper goodbye from arthur and was aiding all of his men, wondering where he was and if he was okay😭 and then later on, when leon tells her that arthurs missing and she turns around and silently cries, but quickly recovers… that was SO heartbreaking. she just keeps going and cries to herself like she deserved so so so much better and i hate that she never got closure
2.) i know that merlin has really truly become emrys but im not sure if it was necessary for dragoon to be his Final Form. i didnt watch the first part so maybe i missed the importance of that, but i feel like the scene would’ve been so much better if merlin looked like himself and casted all those badass spells and everyone would see him
3.) WHEN ARTHUR WAKES UP TO MERLIN AND THE FIRST THING HE SAYS IS “merlin, where have you been?” IM NOT OKAY??? it wasnt “merlin, what are you doing here?” or “merlin, how did you get here?” it was merlin, where have you been? that whole time arthur was in battle all😭he😭wanted😭was😭merlin😭
and then the magic reveal. the goddamn magic reveal. that entire scene is so heartbreaking. tell me why i was so distraught when ive seen that scene more times than i can count. and he doesnt just say “i have magic, i used it to protect you” NO. he says i use it for you, only for you. THAT IS A CONFESSION. it’s such a subtle shift of words but it says SO MUCH.
arthur immediately being in denial kills me. it was never a thought in his head that merlin would actually have magic because he associated it with evilness and cruelty. but then he finds out that merlin has always had magic and the way his eyes become so sad… the way his finger brushed his merlins chin right before realizing the truth… im so…
4.) i couldnt stop crying when the scene cut to gwen in the castle, staring out the window and feeling that arthur is alive. her eyes are so sad. i just can’t get over the fact that she never had the goodbye she deserved
5.) as much as i hate the way arthur reacted to merlin having magic, i do understand. he was literally just in battle, was mortally wounded, and found out that the only person he thought he could trust had been lying to him from the moment they met. i dont believe arthur actually thought merlin was dangerous— he’s prone being angry before being sad as a defense mechanism and that was only fueled by finding out that gaius was also lying to him. at that point, it must’ve felt like every person he’d ever known and trusted only ever lied to him. its so tragic I CANT.
BUT ALSO on the other side of that i actually cannot handle how utterly heartbroken merlin looks. his red rimmed eyes because he was crying all night😭 thinking that arthur would hate him forever…
5.) this entire scene bro…
“why did you never tell me?”
“…i wanted to, but…”
“…what?”
“you would’ve chopped my head off.”
“…not sure what i would’ve done.”
“and i didn’t want to put you in that position.”
“…that’s what worried you?”
“some men are born to… plow fields, some live to be great physicians, others… to be great kings. me… i was born to serve you, arthur. and i’m proud of that. and i wouldn’t change a thing.”
UMMMM SO I HAVE MANY THOUGHTS. i have rewatched this scene so. many. times. it is genuinely one of the most beautiful scenes ever written in cinema call me dramatic but im just speaking facts
arthur’s face when he realized that merlin really did care for him. the way he instantly lights up, despite being in pain. and his eyes… theyre glued to merlin. the whole time, he couldn’t look at him directly, but now he was. he was just scanning his face, memorizing all of merlin’s features AND MERLIN IS JUST STARING AT ARTHURS LIPS
also. ALSO. how have i seen this so many times and never. NEVER. caught onto the fact that gwen and arthur’s theme (which is originally titled the love theme) WAS PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND. there was no mention of gwen at all in that scene. that was all merlin and arthur. this just confirms to me that this is the moment arthur fully realized and accepted that he was in love with merlin
6.) gwen deserved to know that merlin was a sorcerer FROM MERLIN. they were best friends. THEY WERE BEST FRIENDS!!! HE SHOULDVE BEEN THE ONE TO TELL HER!!! they deserved a scene where merlin comes back from avalon and he and gwen hug and cry.
7.) gwaine and percival should NOT have gone after morgana. i understand their rage but there was no way they were going to defeat her unless they had excalibur or something…
and gwaines death was so unnecessary. that was clearly for shock factor and i hated it. but i did get emotional when percy was able to free himself because he heard gwaine was being tortured… and then hes there when gwaine dies… their foreheads touching… (im not ok)
8.) it breaks my heart that morgana felt no guilt or remorse when she saw arthur, wounded and on the verge of dying. you can so clearly see that arthur feels that way when he sees morgana die, but there’s nothing on her end. i know it’s meant to show how far gone she is but it genuinely doesn’t feel right. i really do think she would’ve experienced some sort of internal conflict when seeing her own brother dying… like maybe she realized that none of this was worth it. it didnt feel as good as she thought it would
and when she’s stabbed by merlin😭 and he says he blames himself for what she’s become. people don’t recognize it enough how merlin feels so much guilt for the way he treated morgana. i just know he didn’t want to kill her, but he had no choice and he knew it was his fault…
9.) is there a reason why merlin didnt call for kilgharrah. i know kilgharrah said in the previous episode that he would finally be lying to rest for eternity, but i feel like this was an especially dire situation where he was needed😭 AND MERLIN SUMMONS HIM LATER ON!!!
or what about aithusa??? LIKE THEY DID NOT HAVE TO BE ON HORSES THE WHOLE TIME
(if anyone can explain the reasoning then lmk otherwise it was just a plot hole and that pisses me off bruh)
10.) arthur’s death did not need to happen, yet it was one of the best death scenes i’ve ever scene. it was just so raw and painful. “just… just hold me…” WHAT IF I DIE??!?!,,!!, he thanks merlin, he pats his head, he brushes his cheek, he tries to hold his hand like im fjwjdjsjjswhshshsj
also originally i was not fully convinced by the theory that the breath arthur took before saying “thank you” was “i love you.” i didnt want to be delusional but i actually do think he did say that he loves merlin. AND THAT CAN BE INTERPRETED AS ROMANTIC OR PLATONIC!!! i def see it as romantic but yes… im so Normal…
11.) “i’ve failed?” just. don’t talk to me.
12.) when merlin stands by the boat arthur is laid to rest in, trying to hold back his tears only to sob as he touches his forehead. the way he tries to gather himself. the way he struggles to say arthurs name and cast the spell. the way he watches arthur drift off, shaking. just. pls.
13.) gwen my baby girl. i cannot emphasize this enough. you deserved so much better. my heart broke when she played with arthurs royal seal and then when i saw the empty throne beside her. she had no time to prepare for this. she just lost the love of her life.
14.) it cuts to leon and then percival. and then i realize theyre the only two left in the round table. they both look so distraught. they lost everyone they ever loved.
15.) gaius :( he was waiting for merlin with his favorite meal :(
16.) bro the truck always jumpscares me omfg why is it so loud😭😭😭 then i get sad because merlin is old and walking alone and its the present and he’s still waiting for arthur :(
they should’ve had the show end with arthur saying “merlin” instead of kilgharrah saying it. that’s literally all we needed. it would’ve been so perfect but here we are…
final thoughts:
i love that this episode wasnt just the battle and action. the focus of it was merlin and arthur, navigating their feelings from the magic reveal and arthurs mortal wound. its so painful and heartbreaking but that just symbolizes the love they have for each other. this entire episode was filled with their gentle moments, softly speaking and touching each other. then arthur dies in merlin’s arms but i dont think he’d want to be anywhere else
also!!! colin and bradley’s acting in this episode… it was absolutely PHENOMENAL. they are already such great actors, but they really nailed it in the series finale. i can’t get over how they speak with their eyes the whole time. you can the love, fear, and acceptance they experienced throughout the whole episode. it was just so beautiful and i think that was what rlly made this ep
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peace-hunter · 7 hours ago
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all i can imagine is megatronus haunting the absolute slag out of megatron. he is TORMENTING the other with every free chance he gets because you DONT JUST STEAL SOMEONE'S COG YOU ABSOLUTE CRETIN and at this point with everything megatron has done he's completely vindicated in annoying the bolts off of that mech
aklsjdlasad megatron will always have at least one (1) hater because not even death will stop megatronus lmao
i'm really torn because as much as i fucking adore the idea of megatronus banging ghost pots and pans from the other side in order to keep megatron awake and miserable all night, i can also see him just. not wanting to nor being able to talk with megatron at all.
i mentioned it here but in my au the primes' connection to the bots with their cogs depends a lot on how accepting they are of the bond they form with them.
prima has the strongest bond with optimus, both because of the matrix and because they just. connect really well. prima is just genuinely delighted with their new baby brother and that made it really easy for them to bond even before OP got the matrix. afterwards prima can pretty much tell what optimus is feeling at all times and viceversa.
micronus and bee have the next strongest bond, with them getting along very easily and kinda just vibing together. it helps that bee is worryingly okay with hearing disembodied voices. like. primus kid this makes things easier but also are you okay?? but their strong bond does make it easier for micronus to follow bee around even when he's pretty far from OP and he can get a good idea of what bee is feeling or even thinking sometimes.
alchemist and elita have a bit of a harder time connecting, because elita does find hearing voices in her head a little eerie and alchemist doesn't want to push her if she's not comfortable. but he likes her and as she gets more used to the idea of having a ghost following her around it gets easier for them to talk and connect with one another. alchemist can follow elita only to a point tho and his awareness of her gets limited the farther away she is from OP.
and then there's megatronus and megatron's bond which is. almost non-existent. it's better than it was with sentinel but that's the extent of it. sometimes megatronus will get echos of feelings but it's really rare and the longer the war goes on the more uncommon it becomes. he knows the strategically sound thing to do would be to accept his connection with megatron to at least get some intel from him or attempt to persuade him to change his mind but. he can't bring himself to. and after a certain amount of time i think even if he tried he genuinely wouldn't be able to. at one point his disgust and rage against megatron's actions wouldn't let him connect with him.
maybe if he was furious enough he could brute force his way though a non-existent bond and get like. five minutes to yell at megatron. like when you're so angry you're actually calm? that but megatronus is so enraged he achieves emotional enlightenment just long enough to call megatron insults that haven't been uttered since the quintessons first came to cybetron right to his face and not a second longer lmao
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liketolaugh-writes · 5 hours ago
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I'm confused about how you read that entire exchange and apparently did not absorb it but I think you maybe need to watch Danny Phantom again.
Yes. I am aware of all of those mentalities. I am aware that a large portion of the DPxDC fandom wants Danny to expect Superman to be Kon's parent (because apparently parenthood is something that can be forced on you and God forbid you feel violated.) I am aware of where Danny gets the grudges that people invent for him (a character that does not hold grudges against anyone except Vlad.) I am aware that there are multiple Flashes and that Danny is equally happy to insult all of them (because talking back to authority is a thing that Danny does. Ever. In his canon.) And I am well aware of how much of the DPxDC fandom likes to portray the Justice League as a bunch of idiots, which... is also not consistent with any of their canons and just, again, comes down to the chip-in-the-shoulder a lot of people seem to carry for heroes these days.
None of that is what I'm addressing. Fandom is built on headcanons and expanded universe, and it's great to build those things! It's great for them to build extra backstory to meld the two universes together, to fill out Danny's kind of flimsy canon, to have Danny already have opinions based on that backstory. You can write all these things if you want. I understand that people enjoy them, and DPxDC has a particularly mutated fanon that people have built over years now. People love these stories!
The part that I am illustrating is that the manner in which it's usually carried out is extremely unlike Danny. See above (far above) characterization notes. But especially, doubly so, for a Danny that grew up knowing and loving the Justice League for most of his childhood, before he had any reason to resent them.
Quite frankly, out of anyone, I would expect Danny - who routinely fights for a town that hated him for half the cartoon, and rescues people that have been cruel to him personally - to understand how terribly difficult it is to be a hero at all. To understand that they work hard to save people every day, that the Flashes time-traveled under great duress and out of pure desperation (as Danny usually does), and to understand that anyone who works around the clock to rescue people is, fundamentally, a good person even when they make mistakes or act out in anger. Repeatedly - with Valerie, with Dora, with Ghost Writer and Dash and Amorpho - Danny is shown to have an intense sense of empathy that lets him forgive people who have acted against him and are not sorry about it.
(And, personally, I think that Danny, having been cloned, would understand how violated Superman felt even if he doesn't agree with how he responded - but that's speculation, I suppose.)
And finally, while I understand the motives writers have for this portrayal (see, again, above notes about fandoms with sweet protagonists that take a lot of shit) the problem is that this vengeful behavior people want him to have is extremely out of character for a boy who:
Apologizes to Dash for something Dash doesn't even know he did (overshadowing him to stick his head in a trash can)
Goes to intentionally let his dad capture him because his dad was having a really bad day
Is the first to suggest a truce the moment he thinks an antagonistic character might be open to it (true of Valerie, Dash, all of his rogues, and occasionally even Vlad)
Once genuinely thought Jazz was beating him up out of anger and responded by apologizing and trying to convince her to calm down
Pretty much only ever just wants people to get along?
I also don't know why you assumed I was basing my entire opinion off drabbles and dialogue snippets, because... no? The stimulus for this entire post was in fact a fic of nearly 10k, which I stopped reading because I was so mortified that Danny kept insulting people that were actively helping him and being considerate and understanding? I don't even read drabbles outside of Tumblr. I prefer longfics, always, and I assure you that I still see all of this pretty regularly. I don't think I've once seen someone imply that Danny holding a grudge is unusual for him.
Why is Danny everyone’s mouthpiece for their random grudges against various superheroes? Why is it SO COMMON for Danny to show up and immediately start chewing people out?
Like. Danny? Mr. ‘My Parents Shoot At Me But It’s Fine’? Mr. ‘Dates The One Ghost Hunter At His School’? Danny ‘Dash Can Shove Me Around I Guess’ Fenton? Holds a bunch of grudges against popular superheroes and tries to punch them at the first available opportunity??
I know it’s become a pretty popular characterization in fandom for Danny to be pretty testy/spiteful, I just don’t really get it
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Why Episode 7 is the worst episode in all of Season 2.
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This fuckass Timebomb ship is the worst thing to ever happen to Jinx's character.
Ok so finally we're gonna talk about Boy Savior Complex and AU Girl Next Door Powder
This is gonna be long. Also, we're not only talking about Episode 7 and Timebomb, we're also discussing Jinx's suicide attempt and how her character's resolution is actually really sad.
First of all, Jinx never liked Ekko back. Season 1 makes it pretty clear that they're friends, and that Ekko has an unrequited crush on her. His feelings are clear, but she never shows any reciprocation. And, no, the art book that came out after season 2 concluded doesn't count. You can't just put "the boy with the unrequited crush" trope in your story and then retract it.
And now to get to the serious part... who the fuck is AU Powder?
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Ekko gets transported into this alternate timeline where we the audience soon realize everyone is happy and none of the conflicts that plague the original story exist and everything is perfect and "as it should be". So this is the ideal world and the one where all these characters reach their highest form of happiness. Even Silco is back with Vander.
And in this ideal world Powder is... a waitress at The Last Drop? I rewatched this episode and I genuinely tried to pay attention to see what does she actually DO. Like what occupies her time in this universe. And between Vander's line about how she's "too smart to be spending her life in a bar" and the fact that she is at one point behind the counter (while Ekko is studying his books... imma get back to that) and the fact that we never see her in any other places besides the bar and her hideout and that one time Ekko takes her out... this seems to be it.
So in the perfect timeline, Powder has decided to stay back with her family once she's grown up, to remain with Vander and help him run his bar, and implicitly has no big ambitions of her own, and definitely no ideas that she would sacrifice her family life for.
Now... Powder/Jinx as a family person is not actually wrong characterization. This is pretty congruent with her character in season 1. Her entire story and literally everything revolves around her family and not much else. When she's Powder she's attached at the hip to Vi and when she's Jinx she doesn't seem too interested in the world outside of her hideout and Silco's office. So considering all we know, yes, Jinx does place family first.
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And this is pretty assumed by the show. Now, I also characterized her like this in season 1! She is a family girl. And Jinx happens to have all these people with big revolutionary ideas around her, be it Vander or Vi or Silco or Sevika, but she herself never actually seems much interested in that. She has a small moment in arc 1 of season 1, which i think it's significant to mention comes right after Vi plants the idea in her head. It would've been one thing if these ideas stayed with her, but post time-skip she doesn't bring anything like that up again. She mostly acts like a bored teenager whenever Silco drags her to the river to tell her all about his tragic past that radicalized him. Overall, any time she exhibits any revolutionary spirit, it seems to actually be more of a personal vendetta for her.
So, okay, Jinx is a family girl and she's never really actually been about all these big ideas, I can agree with the writers that this represents her character.
It's just that... this much?
Man, COME ON. There were people making "Everything's Perfect" AUs since season 1, and they almost all had Powder be a student at the Academy. This girl was clearly passionate about her little inventions, her bombs didn't work but she kept and kept trying. You're telling me she would be completely uninterested in learning more about engineering, in getting a formal education in that, in doing anything with it? Since in this world, there's peace between Piltover and Zaun, we can't talk about any barriers to her becoming a student. And, for that matter, in League lore there's an academy in Zaun, too, that she could have attended.
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Even Ekko points it out, man. Now, to the writers' credit, the story acknowledges quite clearly that Powder choosing to stay with Vander and help him run the bar is weird. It just... never explains it. Like why is she like this, though? Let's throw out some possibilies:
(1) in some scenes, there seems to be a little "jinxiness" in this Powder, too. maybe she's aware of that side of her, and doesn't like it, and fears that if she went off and did what she wanted, and was truly herself, it would ruin what she has, "things are good now" (in this case, this Powder is actually a tragic character. nowhere near ideal timeline stuff.)
(2) in act 1 of season 1, the reason Vi makes Powder stay back is because she fears losing her, after Vander tells her that she might lose Powder in a confrontation with Piltover. since Vi dies in this universe, on a job, maybe in that moment Powder internalizes that rocking the boat in any way is bad. Vi was spirited and had big ideas and wanted to be someone and it led to her death. so maybe this Powder gave up on all of that then. Vander seems like the type to give her a "look what happens" speech, too.
But these are just my theories. This doesn't ever get properly explained in the show. So then maybe Powder is actually content like this and likes this and maybe these people constantly pestering her that she could do and be more are just annoying nuisances to her, same as Sevika is an annoying nuisance to Jinx in the original timeline (although there it makes significantly more sense).
(Also, why is Vi even dead in this universe? They could've easily found another way for Piltover and Zaun to make peace. Guess Jinx doesn't even get to be happy in the Perfect Timeline, goddamn, girl really is cursed after all.)
If you're gonna spend an entire episode on fix-it fanfiction that is supposed to pander to fans and give them, on screen, what they always wanted to see, why didn't we get grown up Powder in a cute academy uniform, being a top student and working on school projects and being loved by her professors cause girl was a prodigy.
Instead... this is Ekko in this universe, actually.
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Ekko is the "big idea guy" and he's working on an entry to the innovations fair and he gets to be Heimerdinger's pupil. To her credit, this Powder still seems to be very smart, Ekko comes to her for help cause he can't actually build his invention alone. But she only uses her intellect to help Ekko. I always thought it would be Powder who would be Heimerdinger's pupil. Instead, here, she's hanging off Ekko's arm, and being all cute, as he discusses Important Stuff with Heimerdinger, stuff that she doesn't get to be privy to, but that she is expected to help them with anyway.
So AU Powder is this very smart girl who is helping her boyfriend build his entry for a contest because he can't actually do it himself but it's okay she'll help him of course and no he can take all the credit she doesn't want to be recognized or anything or to go to like University that would be crazy she's doing it cause she loves him and she's sweet like that and she likes to help others and she doesn't have any character traits that make her difficult she's just a cute funny and relatable down-to-earth girl and she pokes fun at Ekko but like in a loving way and she likes being a waitress and she'd rather be recognized for her dancing skills and................ I'm sorry.....................
So you're telling me Ekko gets transported into an alternate timeline in which his childhood crush who never liked him back is stripped of all her personality, has no goals or ambitions of her own and has no interests besides being his supportive girlfriend, is devoid of all the traits that might have made a relationship with her difficult, and despite the fact that she never showed interest in him in the original world, here she is head over heels for him, always acting all lovey-dovey with him and being nothing but a cute and affectionate puppy.
This is every little boy's with an unrequited crush dream right here. Man, Ekko won more than any other character in this show. And she's mentally ill, too! He's hit the jackpot. Y'all what the fuck am I watching.
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I'm sorry but literally ALL I COULD FUCKING SEE WHEN I WAS WATCHING THIS STUPID DANCE SCENE was that in this universe Powder is a good christian girl who stays home with her dad and loves her boyfriend and is always happy to help WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS GOOD GIRL PROPAGANDA get this bullshit OFF my fucking screen I cannot fucking believe what I'm watching here
Moving on.
Ekko has hurt Jinx more than any other character in the show.
Physically speaking.
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Ekko is the one who does this.
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Which leads to this.
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Which ultimately leads to this.
It has always confused me and it continues to confuse me why no one in this fandom treats Jinx being injected with shimmer as a big deal, when this is the worst thing that happens to her post episode 3. And it's a point of no return for her character, she can't undo this. And yeah I know everyone thought Shimmer Jinx was cool in season 2, but her being turned into a half-dead monster is not a good progression for her character. She also goes through agonizing pain in the process.
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Singed agrees.
It's Ekko who forces Jinx between death and being turned into a half-dead corpse. It's actually insane to me that no one in the fandom considers this and that this is never brought up in the show. If they wanted Jinx and Ekko to be a thing, you'd think this would be a big deal in their relationship. Ekko has changed her irreparably, for the worse.
Idk, is the guy who beat you up and left you for dead really boyfriend material?
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This is the first moment Jinx shows any interest in Ekko. Interesting timing.
I'm pretty sure she doesn't even mention his name post act 3 of season 1. She doesn't wonder about whether he's alright after the bridge fight (for that matter, neither does he). The first time when Jinx looks at him with any hint of affection is when she's standing on a ledge, ready to throw herself off.
Jinx has no one anymore at this point. Her old family is long gone. Silco is dead. Isha is dead. Vi has decided having a good time with Caitlyn is more important than her. This is Jinx at her lowest moment. Does she like him back or is he just the only one who showed up?
Ekko is a winner once again. His crush has been abandoned by everyone, and he is the only one left to comfort her. Luck like this is hard to come by. And of course, she's gonna be super impressed and touched by any sliver of affection now. Probably gonna look at him with big, grateful eyes, and see him as her savior. I'm disgusted.
By the way, this should have never been Ekko. If Vi was too busy with fucking Caitlyn, this should have been Sevika. Sevika is the only character who has known Jinx since she was a child, and who has been with her through every iteration. And she's the only character who has never cared whether she's Jinx or Powder or any other persona she decides to take up, to her she'll always just be an annoying kid. And to Jinx this might actually be comforting. Sevika is the only one who has a realistic perspective on Jinx, and recognizes her flaws, so her talking her down might have actually been very touching, and there are things she could tell her that neither Vi nor Silco could.
(The fuck could Ekko tell her, honestly? That he went off to an alternate universe where she was his perfect girlfriend, so she shouldn't kill herself actually? What the fuck.)
I also wanna talk a bit about Jinx's resolution as a character. Not her fake-out death, but her in the last episode. I think it's interesting that everyone who had a connection to Jinx is gone, namely Silco and Isha. Silco and Isha are both people she chooses, actively, and she is herself around. Instead, now, she's back to Vi and Ekko, the same people that were with her in her childhood. This is a full circle moment for her.
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This is Powder right here, guys. Powder was a little girl who made a mistake and then she went off on this journey where she met new people and she was someone else and it was fun for a while but ultimately she realized what she was doing was bad and she came back to her family and is ready to be that little, sweet girl again. The problem with the Powder-Jinx dichotomy is that Jinx, as much as she represents all this bad stuff that the show has made clear, also represents Freedom and Power, two things that Powder definitively lacked. Her coming full circle, coming back to Powder, is not actually a good resolution for her. She's right back where she started, with Vi and Ekko. Her venturing off on her own and making her own decisions was ultimately a mistake that only lead to her suffering. We can take this all the way back to when she decides to venture off on her own with that bomb, despite Vi's disagreement, and the consequences plague her for the rest of the story.
I know everyone thought it looked super cool when she lifted off that hood, but I could only think it was tragic.
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possibilistfanfiction · 3 days ago
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arcane prompt "hospital"?
[jinx deserves the world, also it's nice to let cait use her girlboss disposition for good sometimes, yknow. ao3 here.]
///
you hand caitlyn a cup of black tea she probably thinks is beyond shitty; it's all they had at the cart in the courtyard, and you still have no idea how to make proper tea anyway. still, she smiles — small, and residually scared, but genuine — in thanks. she's been crying, you can tell: her eyes are red-rimmed and the sweater of vi's she'd thrown on in the middle of the night is rumpled around the sleeves, like she'd used them to wipe her tears.
'she's going to be okay, right?' you look at vi's still, bruised form in the bed. 'they didn't, like, tell you really bad news while i was gone or something.'
caitlyn steadies herself. 'no,' she assures you. 'she's going to be just fine.'
'okay,' you say, and you trust her because she loves vi and because she's a doctor, and mostly because at this point caitlyn wouldn't lie to you. you scoot your chair forward and lace your fingers together with vi's hand, the one without an iv taped into it, and squeeze gently, just a hello. the doctors had explained that she's on a lot of medicine to keep her comfortable, plus the anesthesia from her surgery, so she's not going to wake up until midday at the earliest. but just in case she can feel you, you want her to know that you're there. you remember coming out of the worst sedations, medication that was wrong for you or just way too high a dose, to vi slumped next to your bedside, her big, strong hand steadfast around yours. 'did you see her x-rays or medical history or something?'
'i didn't intend to,' she says in way of an answer.
'ah.' you fiddle with vi's fingers. 'gnarly, huh?'
she puts her tea down on the small table near the bed and runs a hand through her hair before she scrapes it up into a messy ponytail. 'i knew, in theory,' she says. 'we've talked about things, of course. i'm able to help take care of when her chronic back pain flares, and how she really should have a surgical repair on her bad shoulder. but, i just, well. i suppose i comprehend the breadth of it now, more completely at least, the details in a way i can understand.'
you don't know; you don't ever want to know, not like that. vi still has nightmares about prison, still doesn't eat enough sometimes, still refuses heating pads and advil sometimes after a hard shift. 'yeah.'
'and i suppose, too, that it's hard to know how much she's hurt, even if it's so much less bad now.' she shrugs, helpless, and looks at you. 'i just love her.'
it had been terrifying, to get a call in the middle of the night from the fire department: vi had been in a building when it collapsed, and she was hurt and it was, potentially, very bad. you're not sure who they'd called first — you or caitlyn — but she'd texted you a minute after and offered to pick you up so you could both wait at the hospital while vi was in surgery. it had taken two hours before her dad came out and explained that vi had some internal injuries that still needed more fixing in surgery, as well as a few bruises and scrapes, but she would recover fully with time.
'you should move in with each other,' you say.
caitlyn pauses for a few moments, but then she lets out a quiet laugh. 'how long have you been holding that in?'
you shrug. 'you guys have been together for two years. i know vi wants to.' you don't mention that you hack into caitlyn's person email on occasion, just because you like to be nosey; you don't mention that you'd seen her and vi send property listings back and forth the last few months. 'i know she hasn't said anything to me because she doesn't want to upset me, or make me think like she's choosing you over me, or whatever.'
caitlyn considers it calmly. 'she would never do that, you know.'
'yeah.' you do; it's the thing you know most in the world. 'i also know that she's scared that if she doesn't help me at much, i'll have another episode.'
that, caitlyn has no response to.
'i've talked about this a lot in therapy.' you squeeze vi's hand, just in case she's listening too. 'at first i couldn't manage any of it without her, for sure.'
vi had spent her first month out of prison visiting you in your tent in the scariest part of town, not pushing, just bringing you food and warm clothes, comfortable blankets; she'd sit with you for hours if you'd let her, even if most of the time you talked to voices only you could hear and saw things she never would. finally, you agreed to go to the hospital with her, and from there it was more months of getting clean, and trying different medications, and really lame group therapy, and coming to terms with your diagnosis. vi was there as often as she could be, clean-cut for once while she went through the fire academy. you don't remember many details, but when you'd finally gotten released, she'd brought you to this small, rundown one bedroom apartment that she'd made as nice as she could. the first night you were home, she fell asleep in bed next to you in less than a minute, a few tears on her cheeks, seemingly of their own accord. it's always been a measure of love you'll always be a little in awe of.
'but, like, i remember my meds on my own now. i have a system.'
caitlyn's smile is honest-to-god proud. 'that's no small feat.'
you try to act nonchalant, but she's right: most of your medications have side effects that require other medications to off-set, and it's a nightmare if you don't coordinate them properly. 'and, like, my graduate program is going well, and i have friends, and i like climbing. i feel, not good, i guess. maybe i'll never feel good. but i feel real, and most of the time the world feels real too.'
caitlyn lays her hand on top of yours, and vi's.
'anyway,' you say, clearing your throat so you don't cry. you run your free hand through your hair, grown out some now after your "interesting decision," as vi had said, last year during a meltdown. 'vi can move out, and ekko can move in to our apartment. he's —' your boyfriend? your best friend? your favorite person, other than vi?
caitlyn smiles gently. 'he is.'
'he knows what to do, if i need help.'
'and i know you want to live with vi, and i know she wants to live with you.' even though you invade their privacy by checking emails, you'd never spill the beans that they've both individually been looking at rings. 'i can manage, without her there as much. i don't think either of us ever thought that would be our reality, which is why vi hasn't brought it up. i know she's still scared, probably forever. it was scary.' you take a big breath and then let it out; when you'd first gotten your diagnosis, it seemed like you would never get to be a full, independent person, and then it would be a death sentence. 'but i want to try. i can try.'
caitlyn squeezes your hand, and vi's too. 'i believe you will do wonderfully, in both my professional and personal opinion.'
'oh. really?'
she nods. 'you haven't had a full blown episode in over a year. i see you manage your days, and your impulses. clinically, you're actually a great patient. personally, you're a pain in the ass sometimes, but not because you're unwell.'
'just because of my stunning charm and incredible sense of humor? my flair for the dramatic?'
'something like that, sure.'
you laugh. 'thank you, so so much.'
she rolls her eyes but she's still fond of you, especially in the early morning light. vi's eyes are both bruised blue, but caitlyn had told you that surgeons had finally fixed her broken nose after it broke again this time: you're pretty sure vi hasn't been able to breathe properly since she was, like, twelve. at the very least she'll snore less, so a win for all of you. 'we found a house we want to put an offer in on,' she admits.
'yeah?'
she nods. 'it's not too far from your place, and it's right on the park.'
you scoff, just for posterity. 'fancy.'
she's unfazed by this point. 'we — well, vi was going to tell you, but i know it's fine if i do. we know you and ekko want to keep your current place, and i'd actually like to sit down with both of you and see if there's any way i can assist with your rent or other budgetary items.'
you're definitely, 100% about to cry, all of a sudden.
'she is so proud of you, for even being able to consider pursuing increased independence.'
you sniffle.
'but, the brownstone we're looking at also has a fully finished basement, with a bedroom and a small living area, its own bathroom. we've planned for it to be your space, whenever you want it, for any reason, for however long you'd like to stay. a night, a year. you will always have a home with violet, which means you will always have a home with me too.'
you have to do your deep breathing: sometimes kindness, especially given freely, is what makes the world slide most off-kilter. there are always voices telling you that you don't deserve good things, that caitlyn, and vi, and ekko, and vander, and even caitlyn's parents, when you go over to their giant ass mansion for celebratory dinners or parties, are lying to you. but you put your head down against your joined hands and count to ten, whisper it aloud, and then sit back up. caitlyn is waiting patiently.
'how big is the house?'
she laughs, heartily, and pulls out her phone to show you pictures and specifications. it's beautiful — not that you'd ever expect less of caitlyn kirammen — but she also tells you the plans she has to decorate, and your chest aches with a happiness so tinged with grief when she casually explains things vi wants in each room too. it's a life you never dreamed you'd get to have, and you know vi has probably been having total menty-b's about all of this, but she deserves a home more than anyone you've ever met.
'it's fine, i guess,' you say, after caitlyn finishes showing you their plans for the patio and yard.
caitlyn laughs. 'up to your standards?'
'could use more neon.'
'keep it confined to the basement, and you've got a deal.'
'ugh.'
'the only request i have is that you not blow it up.'
you pretend to contemplate. 'that's reasonable, i guess.' you look around at all the monitors proclaiming your big sister's strong heart and lungs and brain, despite it all. 'vi's gonna be so relieved that we don't have to have a heart to heart when she wakes up.'
caitlyn looks at the still planes of vi's face adoringly. disgusting, still. 'she'll be difficult enough as it stands, i'm sure.'
'total pain in the ass.'
////
you spend the first night after vi moves out in your apartment with ekko, and you fall asleep with your head tucked into his chest, safe still, even now. that weekend, you haul a duffle bag of your stuff — clothes, toiletries, a quarter of your lab, a few cans of spray paint — to vi and caitlyn's new house. neither of them are home yet, vi stuck grumpily on desk duty for the evening and caitlyn's meeting running over.
but your key turns in the lock, and your favorite snacks are stocked in the pantry. eventually, they both get home, and they're happy to see you, and caitlyn laughs at the improvements you've already done to the walls of the basement. vi ruffles your hair and you bully both of them into ordering tacos like you want, even though they have plenty of things you could cook at home. caitlyn is polite enough to let you curl up with vi on the couch, just for tonight, and you fall asleep, safe and warm, there too.
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koifishhies · 2 days ago
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Yess you’re so right about her perception of him changing after the dinner!! Don’t mind me I’m gonna yap about this now.
The way I see it, his job is a kind of special interest / hyperfocus for him, so while he’s working he’s completely locked in, and past the point of caring about masking and forcing himself to appear friendly. The thing with autism is that, for me at least, socializing and connecting with people isn’t something you can casually do on the side; you have to put in active effort into “acting normal” enough to do that. And that’s really fucking exhausting. For Alec, pairing that reality with the fact that he fumbled his last case partly BECAUSE of his personal relationship with Tess getting in the way, I can totally see how he forgoes even trying to put in that effort at all. He drops the mask and completely zeroes in on the task at hand.
Because of this, he’s direct and blunt and disregarding of social etiquette, and it comes across as cold and rude. Paired with all the trauma he went through with Sandbrooke making him a generally pessimistic, depressed person, the people in Broadchurch end up disliking him (if “shitface” is anything to go off of).
But then you take him out of work—and not only that, but put him in a position where he actually has to try and connect with these strangers, and socialize just for the sake of socializing—and he’s immediately awkward and unsure and doesn’t know what to say. It’s the horrifying moment where you realize, oh shit, I am in a Situation, and I have to try and Act Like A Human. And you’re all tense and frozen up and a little too hyperaware of your every action, and next thing you know you’re going on a rant about how unnecessary first names are and your coworker and her husband are looking at you like 😃😃
I feel like seeing this completely other side of Alec gave Ellie more perspective about him, and made her realize that the earlier actions that ticked her off didn’t come from a place of rudeness and entitlement. It was just cuz he’s not very good at socializing, and prefers to get straight to the point. In reality his motivations are quite sincere.
And she’s just kind of like, oh, okay. And adjusts accordingly. Simple as that. Which is so fucking cool!!
Mind you, this doesn’t mean she doesn’t voice her opinion when something he does outright bothers her. She’s quite vocal about that, and that’s fantastic. She’s open and understanding about his perspective while also setting boundaries.
Their interactions are rough at first, misunderstanding and butting heads, but they keep compromising and bouncing off each other enough until they find a balance. And if you notice, even out of work, Alec is never the level of awkward and tense again like he was during that first dinner. Because he’s not masking around her anymore. They’ve genuinely connected on a level that works for them.
And it doesn’t really go much deeper than that, because it doesn’t have to. And I just really like that.
I just love how broadchurch (unintentionally) made an autistic-coded detective, but instead of going the sherlock route they made him just. a guy. he’s not special in any way, he’s not a savant, he’s just kinda There and Traumatized About It the entire time.
like alec hardy wants one thing in life and it’s to do his job, but he’s also constantly faced with the unfortunate reality that his job Sucks. he’s also actively dying half the time. and that’s it that’s his character.
also he’s not a twink like most autistic coded savants in media, and I may not be a middle aged dad but that’s the kind of representation I can get behind
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angelicsjn · 22 hours ago
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yooo how would the yanderes react if like the reader was being very close and touchy to her guy friend that she hasn't seen in a while, thank youuu
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YOUR SEVEN YANDERES.
A N: Ooo, jealous yanderes?
A B O U T: You are touchy with your friend.
W A R N I N G S: GN reader and GN friend so everyone can enjoy it. Jae being an asshat, as usual.
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— ROMAN BEAUREGARD.
Roman is indeed a composed and unreactive man—he has no reason to fear your loyalty unless you give him reason to question it.
Therefore, he will not mind your interactions with your friend. He understands that you haven't seen them in a while. He understands that you are excited.
In fact, he's happy for you. To see you smile and enjoy your time around your friend.
Roman knows how serious things can become when in his life, so be appreciates seeing you smile as carefree as the day he laid eyes on you.
— LATEN REED.
He doesn't care. Flat out. He's a very touchy person and enjoys affection. He will hug anyone. Hell, he'd even hug your friend, too.
Actually, he does. He's so excited to meet your friends, and he wants to create a good impression, so he's down to get involved in whatever you're both doing.
Much like Roman, he enjoys seeing you happy. But unlike Roman, he will join in on your activities and get to know your friend and the version of you that he hasn't seen yet.
— JAE 'NIKO' LEE.
He bleeds from the palm of his hands from his nails as they dig into his flesh—he wants to rip this person's skin off and turn them into a lampshade.
He feels embarrassed. You've actually embarrassed him.
Remember this meme...?
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Yeah. That's him.
Once you're alone, he erupts. Blurting tons of verbal abuse, "Are you fucking stupid? You made me look like a fucking fool, basically fucking your stupid fucking friend right in front of me!"
— KAIDAN WOLFE.
Bro is in a world of his own. He's just happy to be there.
He'll hug your friend, and let it linger because anyone who is a friend to you, is a friend to him.
He treats them like he's known them for years and not to make them feel comfortable. No. It's because he's an idiot and believes that they have a connection because you two have one—he's silly like that.
— HAYDEN WEST.
This poor boy walks away feeling so so insecure.
You seemed to enjoy hugging them more. You sat closer to them. Every touch, every movement was picked up by him.
He genuinely feels sick.
He doesn't say anything, though. Of course he doesn't. He'd feel stupid admitting it.
— JOSHUA WHITE.
He believes that your friend is disrespectful—towards you and your innocence but also your relationship with him.
I mean, the way they held you? Wasn't very God honouring!
He feels his fist curl at the sight as they pull you in extra close, their lips to your ear as they whisper—Joshua breathes out and puts on his best face.
If God doesn't handle them, he will have to.
— BLAKE CROSS.
Blake is a bitch and spots the affection before they've even caught you in their grasp, he isn't mad.
He's not even offended.
He feels petty. Which is worse, in my humble opinion.
Once the whole ordeal is over, you'll be asking him what's wrong become the entire time he was quiet and calm—the two very things that he is NOT.
"I don't know, go hug your friend." He shrugs, not even looking your way as he picks lint from his polo shirt.
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