#how dare you make me feel something with maths and cooking in it

[nm-solitude]

Food on mathematical delulu - Fermat's Cuisine

(Episode 1 spoilers, more or less spoiler free for the rest of the series) Perhaps it's because Japanese shows draw off their own theatrical culture of whimsy and fantasy but it was nothing short of funny to me to try and explain to my sibling when he passed by the tv to get a glass of soy from the fridge that the show I was watching was J-drama not K-drama and that there was indeed a difference. I'm no connoisseur nor am I an avid watcher of series in general, but it's funny to me that I ended up explaining the difference between J-drama, K-drama, C-drama (and even Indian shows/films) on a lateral scale of delulu (absolute bonkers-hat stealing goose in broad daylight logic) to 'wow, that cuts deep' wiseness.

Shows can't generalized on this scale but from what I have seen of the netflix catalogue from delulu to wise I would personally rank C-drama's as most delulu, K-drama at the middle and J-drama as tending to be wise- but it still can get wildly delulu. (Indian drama and films FYI sit beyond delulu in my opinion, I love how wild they are and Chandramukthi will always haunt the back of my mind rent free.) Akin to 'Shokugeki-no-Soma' (Food Wars) , a series where cooking causes people to enter peak euphoric delulu after sampling food and the young protagonist is driven to become the best chef he can by attending culinary school. Fermat's cuisine follows the story of a mathematician turned chef wanting to become the prime delulu chef of a restaurant. And in the first episode, right from the get go- we see the protagonist, Gaku, at the position of head chef leading the kitchen. It should be a moment of thrilling success with warm lighting and bright music. But it's not.

The music is fervent, hungry and discordant as we see future Gaku wash his face and move to the kitchen with a stoic and cold demeanor as he continues cooking. There are others in the kitchen, faces who we will surely learn more about throughout the show, and they are all very rushed, busy- overworked even. The sous chef is clearly trying to make ends meet and lead the rest of the chefs to quickly plate out dishes. In the midst of this, Gaku is slow and methodical, the camera in this sequence never fully panning away from his being- seemingly showcasing the value of the head chef in the kitchen. And when he looks down at the dish the other chefs have plated and he speaks, the very first line we get from this character is to redo the dish, because he adamantly believes there's something wrong with it, something that seemingly only he can see. The backlash is real when this changes to a hopeful, younger Gaku getting up from his table at the end of class and we hear the him of the past speak about himself. The first few keys of the background are soft and fluttery like a baby bird wanting to take flight which is further imposed by this younger Gaku speaking with a sense of hopefulness, warmth and an ever-present desire to become a mathematical genius. For all the wacky cooking explanations, and well several of the characters taking a leaf out of Kaiba's book for petty revenge and just the DELULU. It's critically unfair that this show does well to push a compelling narrative about the topic of talent and skill while featuring bonkers cooking. And while the cooking delulu and our boy Gaku and his roomie Kai Asakura get to me with the amount of hooks they have thrown in there have almost made me want to watch something else. I can't help but huff and let the next episode roll. In my opinion the acting is great, and the score is fascinating as it is ever reaching like Icarus. I'm close to having watched all of it and I'm already miffed with the fact that shows and books tend to be a one time watch and the feelies I have felt for this show I can only experience this one time. If you give this show a watch let me know?

[justcallmesakira]

HIII OMG I haven’t had a good laugh in a while until i came across your fyodor’s sis dating dazai hcs IT GOT ME ROLLING ON THE FLOOR 😭 can i request for dazai’s sister dating fyodor if you’re up for it? fluff crack make it silly if you want i’ll enjoy anything from you for sure!!

"Dazai with a sister dating Fyodor!"

Sypnosis: Uh oh! Looks like Dazais one and only sister he grew up with is dating a rat who the entirety of yokohama is after!

Genre: crack, suggestive? (idk sth is wrong with me)

Warning: More blasting, bombing, terrorrist, rizz,

A/N: AHHH I AM SO HAPPY U ENJOYED IT- AND I AM MORE THEN HAPPY BCS I MADE YOU LAUGH !!! >.<

nahhh like brother like sister :/

NO BCS i feel like fyodor just wanted to temper dazai by using his ugly breedable charms on you

But it backfired terribly! (like his posture)

Though you were his one and oNlY eNeMyS blood relative he just couldnt help but flirt with you and perhaps ykyk do those romantic stuff ppl do

This is so ooc rn ;skull emoji 69x;

However you were extremly LIKE extremly careful to not let your brother know

You literly sneaked off the house as if you were sneaking inthe kitchen to cook a whole buffet at 3am!!

Except you were sneaking off to EAT a whole buffet😏😏

Even the rat himself helped you to sneak to his rusty ahh apartment

Wow! The first thing he actually did for others!!!!!

Honestly dazai would be chill though-

Like oh his sister is dating someone? welp sure! i have exes all around the city hope its not one of them though hehe...HeHe

FUCKING SLU--

You took the risk of rizzing fyodor up infront of him though like:

"I am crime, I am punishment" you: "I know something else you can punish :3"

Dazai woke back from the dead with em bones fish eye when u said that

AYYY DAZAI IN HIS MELANIE MARTINEZ "PORTALS" ERA!!!!1😍

When he find out though.....oh god hes going to give you that light skin stare, with his eyes turning into nothing but a pitch black void

like my soul-- OKAY THIS IS THE LAST ONE I PROMISE--

One day you met up with fyodor and you were so excited that you nearly threw his anemic ass to the ground

"Yaaaah fedya,!! we finally met! dont give me that face do u know how hard it is to come and meet you when my lazy ahh brother puts trackers on me!" "Malyshka, please calm down---''

All of a sudden u could hear shuffling which instantly cautions the both of you only for your eyes to be meeted with your brothers eye turning into nothing but pitch black like the face he gave when he saw mori

your getting grounded <3

"Out of all people...out of 8 billion people, sister😀" "I-i-i-i i can explain"

he then looked at fyodor with the ugliest angry face ever "YOU FUCKING RAT HOW DARE YOU WOO MY SISTER WITH FEHUYOUR UGFLY AHH RATUTILLIE NO RIZZ MANIUPULATION I AM GONNA BLAST YO-"

damn.. dazai become eminem

the shift mood between to u then to fyodor was so funny

LIKE YALL SAW THE ADVICE FYODOR GAVE TO DAZAI IN THEIR CELLS? THATS A BIT--- UM YANDERE??????!!

"BROTHER CALM DOWN I WAS NOT MANIUPULATED TF-" "THAT WONT STOP ME FROM MY MANSLAUGHTER ARC" "WHAT?--"

#siblinggoalsfr

fyodor honestly only glared at him with a smile that said "If they annoy you, go for their sibling"

dazai YANKED Your arm taking you back to you apartment and just stared at you as if you got a B in maths

uh oh...

So YEAH after hours of not being able to calm him down he finally accepted!

Dazai gifted fyodor a dead rat in a helicopter after he accepted you guys😍😍😍

No bcz i think u and nikolai would have matching energy--

Nikolai: "Dos-kun bites his nails!" You: "Real except he bites my neck!"

one day ranpo jolted up from his seat with fisheye and slowly turned to you as if you ate his (dead)mother

"Dazai Y/N, you did not..." "Oh yes yes i just did :3"

everybody was so confused like did you steal his snacks or sth???

"like brother like sister i guess...." -ranpo after finding out his bestie is doing unholy things to his enemy

JKJK-

Dazai acted so overdramatic omg- ugh hes so babygirl

"I still cant believe it... MY OWN SISTER DATING-DAT-DATING A STINKY RAT! Wait- WHAT IF YOU GET MARRIED???????!!!!! WILL YOUR NAME BE D-D-D-DOS-DOE RATVESKY?? sis you better let him take your name WAIT NO I WILL NOT SHARE MY NAME WITH HIM UGFYDUTYFE"

dramatic gossip girlie fr

like its literly like

"I took your victory😈" "I took your sisters viriginty😈😈😈"

i am so sorry-WAHHHHHHHHHH- *gets shot in the head by reader for being so dirty*

during gatherings, they just smile at each other protesting in their minds who can take care of u better while your in a chair rollin around and going :3

kuro kuro kuro kuroooo kuro kuro kuro kuro ding luro kuro ding~

until your silly ahh falls! :D

And its just a second of time to see who can cath you first-

Dazais going to turn your wedding into an arson commitment!

"Breaking news!, Depressed man who half the fandom slanders burns down his sisters wdding venue with soy sauce!"

Well... its a funky ride! but hey its fyodor

A/N: i know its short but i tried okay- ENJOY!! i love doing crack if i cant laugh or be happy i will make others happy!! <33

Divider crds: @nikolaismasquerade

tags! @silverbladexyz @riiwrites @chuuyasboner @heartsfourdazai @atlasnessie @atsquie @tojifile @biscuits-lovely-corner @darling--angst

[neowinestainedress]

Hey love ur writings! Could you write a shot with Mark the way u wrote for doyoung pls? The needy doyoung and wife trying to find privacy to do it lol

w!: aged up mark (28yo) but only if you care enough to do the math, outdoor teasing, fingering, oral (f receiving), unprotected s*x, romantic (i guess?)

a/n: dad!nct is making me feel things ngl. anyway, thanks, and hope you’ll like this!

You and Mark have a long story. You had been dating for five years when he decided to pop the question. And now, five years of marriage and two kids later, you’re still as in love as you were when you first met.

And if love is still in the air, the same thing can be said about passion. Mark is still as clingy as he was ten years ago. He will never help you cook (for the safety of the family, he washes and dries the dishes) but he will always make sure to tease you, wrapping his hands around your waist and kissing your neck while he whispers things to your ear, at times innocent, at times things that would make you want to have him right there and then. And you’d do it if only it weren’t for the little ones running around the house. 

He even dares to tease you when you’re outside, busy taking care of the garden. “You used to be braver when we were younger,” he pouts when you slap his hand away, looking around fearing the neighbours might see. “Exactly, we were younger.” 

“Oh, so the rumours are true,” Mark chuckles, “you can’t take me anymore?” 

“Oh, please, shut up, Lee,” you say, playfully kicking him with a swing of the hips. 

“You sure you can?” He teases, kissing your neck while his hands wander on your body, this time cupping your right boob with no impediment. 

Your breath falters as you try to keep your focus on the plants, and you hum in reply. 

“The neighbours are out,” he whispers, dibbling your neck after moving your hair to the side. “We can have a bit of fun.”

You let out a low moan, head rolling back while the hold on the watering can loosens. “Mark,” you whimper when his other hand reaches down, moving on your clit through the fabric of the long dress you’re wearing. 

“Mommy! Daddy! Minjun is drawing on the wall!” Minseo’s scream immediately makes Mark pull away and you drop the can from your hands, splashing it all on your clothes. 

“I can’t do this anymore,” you sigh exhausted, looking at your husband in disbelief. 

Mark chuckles, kissing you briefly. “Get changed, I’ll take care of the modern Pollock,” he says before running inside with your oldest daughter.  

You wish this wasn’t a constant, but it is. Every time you two have some moments alone, something happens. You don’t get mad, after all, Minjun is only two years old and wants to explore the world, especially now that he learned how to walk. But you miss those old days when he would spend most of the time sleeping or playing in the playpen. 

“Mommy!” It’s a Friday afternoon when you think you might finally have the opportunity for something to happen, after Minseo comes back from school with your husband with a big smile on her face. 

“Hi, honey. How was school?” 

“Great! A friend invited me to her place tonight. Can I go?” She asks, swinging her body side by side as she waits for your answer. 

“Of course, you can,” you reply, smiling back. “Come on, let’s go prepare the bag.” 

Getting Minjun to sleep is harder than usual, and you fear that night won’t go as you exactly planned. But you still succeed to make him fall asleep before Mark comes back from dropping Minseo, and have time to get ready. 

You forgot how it felt to slip into lingerie and admire yourself in the mirror, and you can’t wait for Mark to see it. 

“Fuck,” it’s the first thing Mark says when he sees you as soon as he enters the place. “You look — shit — you look perfect.” 

You giggle, finding endearing how his reaction is still as awkward as always. 

“Where’s — uhm — where’s the baby?” He asks, looking around. 

“The baby’s asleep,” you smile, walking toward him in your high heels, studying his face, and watching him gulp with each step closer. “We have all night to ourselves.” 

“If he doesn’t wake up,” Mark whispers, but his eyes are running on your body, stopping on your chest that’s pressed up by the bra and then moving down where the lace lingerie is basically see-through before falling on your legs. “I — I’m speechless.” 

“I forgot it takes nothing to impress you,” you chuckle before pulling him in for a heated kiss. 

“Nothing?” He asks through the kiss, struggling to catch his breath as you hurry to get him out of his clothes. “It’s you,” he says before lifting you up and walking upstairs. 

Once you’re in your bedroom, he lays you on the bed, swiftly getting out of his pants and underwear to be on top of you and kiss you again. You both needed this like air, and it’s clear in the way you are both so harsh and greedy with your hands and lips. 

“You’re so wet,” he whispers when his fingers reach between your legs and he starts moving them in circles on your clit. You don’t reply, not like he needs your verbal confirmation, and not like you’d be able to give it to him anyway. You feel on fire, and so close already. Probably it’s because Mark is really good at this, pushing his fingers in and out, curling them right where it makes you tremble, and sucking your clit until he leaves you breathless, or probably because your body has been left starved for so long, too long. Whatever it is, it doesn’t matter, and you don’t care you come so easily. 

“Fuck, babe,” he murmurs, trailing up to kiss you while he keeps pumping his fingers to ride your orgasm. “Missed me much.” 

“So fucking much,” you mumble, pulling him down by his nape. “Need you inside me, Mark,” you whisper, but when he doesn’t obey, you feel your patience wear thin. “Now, Mark. I need you, now!” 

“Damn, alright, darling,” he giggles, pulling out of you before positioning between your legs. “Keep quiet if you want this to last.” 

“He won’t wake up, just fuck me alright.” 

Mark doesn’t say a word, just grabs the base of his dick to push into you slowly, whimpering as he sinks into you and your wet, warm pussy wraps around him. “Fuck,” he breathes out, voice shaky, “it’s been ages.” His hold on your hips tightening as he starts moving, rubbing on your soft skin. 

“Come here,” you beg, wrapping your arms around his neck as soon as he leans closer before doing the same with your legs on his waist. “Needed you so much,” you whisper, running your hand on his back, enjoying the sensation of his soft, bare skin. 

“Me too, honey,” he moans, throwing his head back as he starts picking up a rhythm. 

“More,” you cry out. “Please, Mark. Faster,” you plead, fingers running in his blonde hair, pulling at it until a louder, deeper moan rolls from his lips. 

He utters a curse before his hips start moving faster against you. “You feel so fucking good, shit,” he breathes out. “Won’t last long.” 

“Don’t,” you reply breathlessly, “fill me up, please.” 

Mark would love to make this last more, but he can’t resist you. The way your pussy is gripping him and dripping is making him go insane, not to mention how beautiful you look with your head thrown back, overwhelmed with pleasure while your parted lips let out the prettiest moans he has ever heard. He should remind you to keep it quieter, but he’s too lost in those sounds to care. 

“Mark, please,” you cry out, pushing him closer again. And in that messy, needy kiss, you both lose it, the orgasm hitting you hard, leaving you trapped in a panting mess. 

He stays on top of you for a while, leaving small kisses all over your face and whispering how lucky he is to have you, making your heart burst with joy. But when his arms don’t hold his body up anymore, he’s out of you, rolling to the side, with his arm resting on his forehead as he tries to take deep breaths again.

“Wait,” Mark says, watching you climb on top of him, “what are you doing?” 

You smile smugly. “Minjun didn’t wake up,” you say, grabbing his dick and aligning to your entrance, slowly sinking on it. “I told you we were going to have all night to ourselves.” 

© neowinestaindress; all rights reserved. do NOT repost, modify, or translate any work from this blog on any other platform and claim it as yours. you can find my works on ao3 (neowinestaindress) and wattpad (winestaintedress_; currently inactive).

[zero-braincells-left]

ASK GAME (except it’s for the clones)

in or ooc is fine, depends on what fits best. some are more for ooc or ic tho.

which of the other clones (if any) do they consider more of a sibling (affectionate or derogatory) than anything else?

2. what’s their favorite song? or a song that fits them, if you can’t decide.

3. what’s the level of dumb shit they’d do on a dare (no money or anything involved, just a straight up “I dare you to do (thing)”). like, how far are they willing to go?

4. what’s your favorite hc/idea you’ve seen someone else have for them (if there has been one, I think for quite a few of the clones there has??)

5. think of their least favorite clone. now make them say one positive thing about them.

6. think of their favorite clone. make them say one negative thing about them.

7. who do they have absolutely no opinion on. just completely neutral. and why?

8. how sleep deprived are they?

9. what temperature do they prefer? warm? hot? cold?

10. what’s their favorite dessert?

11. what would they do in minecraft ?

12. what’s their favorite time of day?

13. how do they feel about their roommate? (hopefully ur in the discord server and can find/remember where we wrote the rooms. if not just ask me lmao)

14. how much would someone have to bribe them (could be money, favors, etc.) to do something they do NOT want to do. and what would that thing be, anyways? (this question definitely can be more silly than realistic)

15. which vowel is their favorite?

16. if you had to represent them/their personality/their general vibe with a thing like an item or animal, what would they be and why?

17. how good are they at and do they like math?

18. if they could only eat one food for the rest of their lives (or deaths), what would it be? and what about for drinks?

19. would they eat escargot (snail)? willingly or not, doesn’t matter.

20. if they were at a McDonald’s playplace, what’s the first thing they’re doing?

21. which other clone could they realistically beat in a fight?

22. what’s the dumbest thing they’d be willing to spend a shit ton of money on?

23. how would they feel if they had to look at themselves in a mirror for like 5 minutes straight?

24. how would they make a s’more over a campfire? (burnt, on fire, not cooked at all, or actually decent? something else?) and are they fine with the result?

25. why would they randomly be awake in the middle of the night?

just. by the way. I very likely will reblog thing eventually with more questions but in the mean time have fun

[whchenlvr]

Hello! This is my first time requesting something, im so sorry if there any mistake i did in accident, english is not my first language-

i want to ask if you can write weak hero characters with a reader who have a talent in cooking? You can write any character, but please put Seongje Geum in it! ^^ thankyou!

of course! your english is amazing, by the way ❤️❤️

when you’re a good cook ;

weak hero x gn!reader

wolf keum

➤ wolf doesn't strike me as the type to be picky over his food, since food is fuel and he'll eat anything to keep him going

➤ however :) you are determined to change this. so determined, in fact, that you go on a week-long cooking spree to find his favorite dish

➤ "y/n, there's no point in a favorite food. food is food." you give that statement three days. when you ask again, wolf sighs and grins after providing him with enough meals to last a lifetime. "fine. my favorite food is yours." "but—" "please don't ask again, doll."

gray yeon

➤ gray is always impressed when he catches you experimenting with ingredients by the stove

➤ he’s good at studying. he’s good at planning, and he’s good at executing; cooking does not apply to gray

➤ "it's like math," you tried to explain one evening as he helped you bake a cake. "one box of mix, plus one egg, plus some milk, equals one cake!" he'd just stare at you, completely clueless. "it's a good thing you're cute." "what?" "what?"

jake ji

➤ “y/n, you make the best kimchi~” “aw, thanks babe!” “can you please make some for us~” “-_-“

➤ no but i think jake would shower you with compliments every time you cook something, whether it’s for him or not

➤ #1 hype boy fr 💗

ben park

➤ to your surprise, ben wants you to teach him how to cook

➤ you’d show him the basics, and he’d be standing safety at the other of the kitchen when certain ingredients start sizzling or popping

➤ "ben, you won't learn to cook if you're all the way over there." "the food is fighting back!"

donald na

➤ he’s a good cook, but you’re a good cook

➤ i feel like donald loves and admires every little thing about you, but the fact that you're so talented in culinary is his go-to bragging right

➤ "oh, your girlfriend paints? well, my y/n is an amazing cook." "your boyfriend is running for president? cool, but y/n bakes better than your mom, so.”

gerard jin

➤ he’s lowkey mad cause how dare you make better chicken than ttosikki?

➤ when you cook, i feel like gerard would just glower over you. he'd always be in your way, but you never have the heart to tell him off

➤ "are you not going to eat?" you ask one night, and he stubbornly shakes his head. "is it cause i made chicken?" "it's not better than ttosikki!" "bruh, i never said it was!"

dean kwon

➤ idk i feel like dean is a really good cook, so when you show your skills off, he’s a bit intimidated

➤ "oh okay. so you wanna fight." "huh?" "no, i get it. you think you're the best cook and wanna battle for the title. let's go, y/n, let's go." "wh... ok?"

➤ unfortunately for dean, your bibimbap turned out much better than his. though he refuses to admit it, you know by the way he asks you to make dinner the next night that you won

[riveranova]

(A/N): Some IkePri as Roommates Headcanons, because my own roommate is making me want to eat my cactus. :,)

The IkePri Guys as Roommates x GN! Reader - Part 1

Warnings: Nokto's a lil bit Spicy, honestly mostly crack

Characters: Gilbert, Silvio, Keith, Sariel, Rio, Clavis, Notko, Ikemen Prince

Word count: 1.044

Gilbert von Obsidian

honestly, menace

i'm 100% sure that he does not know how to cook

doesn't he like to poison peoples food? yeah.

but like, hes not doing it on purpose - he has this really cool game of thrones cookbook which he uses for almost all his meals

hes having three mental breakdowns and calls his mother two times which results in her just not answering the phone anymore

has no problem with asking you for help tho

when you enter the kitchen you have to look twice at what he made

,,Idk why it's so orange, I didn't even use orange ingredients!''

You get my point

otherwise hes actually very nice to you

hes still the kind of guy who would laugh his ass off if you fell before helping you up

hes keeping a clean room and follows the cleaning plan for your apartment

i imagine him to get cold SO easily - like you'd rather catch this man dead than with an open window in winter

80/100 would roommate again

Silvio Ricci

*sigh*

the complete opposite of Gilbert

hes using those italian roots

dont you fucking dare cook without him because lo' and behold, this man cooks like he worked with Gordon Ramsay his entire life

he insists on wearing his rings tho no matter what hes cooking which results in him cursing like a sailor every five minutes

husband material in the kitchen

the rest,,, not so much

i imagine that he does clean but like BARE minimum

like, the barest - the line is ON THE FLOOR

vacuuming the floor but not under furniture, that bad

he doesnt get why, he never sees it anyways and he has better things to do

i think his rooms smells very good, like eros from versace

problem is, it smells A LOT

so now your entire apartment smells like eros from versace

if you have a sensitive nose, I'm sorry for you

60/100 would roommate again

Keith Howell

okay so lets say Keith is uh,,, less fucked up

he mostly keeps to himself but if he needs something, he asks you

you don't know how he does it but you never hear a peep out of his room - as if he just sleeps 90% of the day

hey, maybe he does - i could almost relate

if you guys get along well, hes actually a really sweet man

his actions speak louder than his words tho

you need something build? ask Keith! you need something carried up (or down) the stairs? ask Keith! there is a fucking huge spider in your room? ...run, because Keith wouldnt touch that thing for the life of him

i imagine that hes as quiet as he is because my man is studying

straight A student but is shit at explaining things so he can't really help you

you both end up crying if he tries to exlpain math to you

80/100 would roommate again

Sariel Noir

it feels like your living with your grandma

in the most amazing way possible

dont get me wrong, i love Sariel but I'm 100% sure that this man would act like an old lady

he loves these really old tablecloths that look like this

puts them everywhere too - on your kitchentable, on the little drawer by the frontdoor and i BET the even has them on his desk

like omg little versions of them for his flowers and like little pots with random shit in them

i bet he makes them himself too

hes way to old to be a student but for the sake of this, lets say hes in his 20s

also a straight A student and, obviously, really great at tutoring

you guys share the same classes and that saved your ass more than once

he takes the tutoring seriously, very seriously

he doesnt whip you when you fail, he rather makes you do chores around the house for longer than you'd have to

90/100 would roommate again

Rio Ortiz

puppy dog boy l

i can't not see him as anything else

you guys knew each other before you moved in together

when you told him that you needed a roomie, he made sure that he would be the one moving in with you

obviously in love with you, doesnt even hide it

makes sure youre never hungry, everything is clean

i'm sure that even if you guys had a cleaning plan, he'd just clean before you have the chance to

simp

also, a yes friend

dyeing your hair? yes. cutting your hair at 2am as a result of a mental breakdown? yes. randomly rearranging your bedroom? yes.

loves to cuddle

spends a lot of time in the living room, waiting for his pray (you) to fall into his trap (the sofa) to be violenty (softly) ripped apart (cuddled)

you have to remind him to relax once in a while, hes not your butler after all

100/100 would roommate again

Clavis Lelouch

*sigh_pt.2*

i mean, at least it doesnt get boring around him

opposite of Keith, hes loud as fuck in his room

watches 'try not to laugh' challenges only to laugh 90% of the time

he loves to prank you (really now)

he once put bleach in your shampoo but ended up using it himself on accident

he played it off as planned, mastertrapper clavis doesnt fail

doesnt cook for himself, he snatches food from you

tried his hand at baking and it actually turned out good

it looked like a disaster

he ruined the taste by putting random shit in it to prank you

,,don't worry, it tastes better than it looks!!'' *hides the tuna can behind his back*

youre actually the one tutoring him

he finds studying boring af so he just doesnt do it

straight B student because the universe is unfair

his room is a mess which follows him wherever he goes

60/100 would (think twice about) roommate again-

Nokto Klein

:I

fuckboy (in the most insulting way possible)

i cant keep defending this man

isnt home, like ever

only if he brings people home

no matter the gender, he brings them home

results in you having a lot of akward run-ins

is also really loud in his room for.. reasons

definetly tried to fuck you once and even if you say no, the flirty-teasy remarks never stop

he'd never disrespect you in any way tho

if you look past his fuckboy-self, hes actually a gentleman

if hes home, that is

helps you with homework (if hes home)

cooks you food if you dont have time (if hes home)

you dont know where he is, you guess that hes partying

hes with his family - mostly Licht

due to,,, problems,, he and Licht hat to stick together

hes still visiting bars after

40/100 would (really question myself if we) roommate again

[sometimesanalice]

JORDAAANNNNN

First of all, I have not been the same since you introduced me to this song.

I MEAN

from the back of the cab to the airport // i am happy you and i got this hour

shut up and leave rn. It's so good and I love it and I love them and I love you. But I digress.

there were so many lovely, cozy, domestic, vulnerable, cheeky, and intimate moments in this one! the whole buffet of emotions! These two have such a special relationship, they are always choosing each other and putting in the effort to make sure they're meeting the other where they need to be met and I love seeing these conversations play out! You give us a reason to be invested in them and keep rooting for them! And I just love them!

more for you!

He couldn’t wait to see you in twenty seconds after it’d felt like he’d been gone for twenty years. - how dare you with this callback. the sweetest boy is HOME and his people are waiting for him! and he is wanted and needed and LOVED

The countless (actually one-hundred and fifty-nine - he’d counted) emails between the two of you had been his saving grace these last three months. You’d emailed him almost every day, sometimes multiple times a day, much to the jealousy of his colleagues. He’d become addicted to them almost. //How did your cooking class go? What was your day like at work? Yes, he would love to go on a trip to Mexico. No, your mom is an absolute idiot. How did you touch yourself at night? Were you being a good girl for him?-- THE RANGEEEE. The way I went from 🥰 to 🥵. The man counted the emails! He reread the ones during his down time when he was missing her the most. HE MEMORIZED THE ONES THAT HAD HIM [redacted] his [redacted] when Coyote was out of the room.

all Bradley had wanted for the last thirteen years was for Maverick to be there when he got home. Last year, when he’d gotten back from three months out near Guam, he’d unabashedly cried from behind his sunglasses when he saw Maverick, Penny, and Amelia waiting for him. Amelia had even made a sign for him with terrible puns and lots of glitter. They’d had Bradley over for dinner - a family dinner - and he had felt on top of the world. Until he’d had to go back to his brand-new, empty house. Bitter with the sweet, he supposed.- SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP MA'AM??!! MA'AMMM WHY HAVE I NEVER BEEN PRIVVY TO THIS MY HEART ARE YOU KIDDING ME NOW I AM CRYING JORDAN I HAVE A WHOLE FIC TO GET THROUGH HOW DARE YOU (this got its own color because WHAT THE FUCK I'VE BEEN SHOT)

He smiled at the sight and the thought that he wouldn’t want to leave you while you were pregnant briefly floated through his mind. --OOF OOF DOUBLE OOOOOFFFFFFFF

Like something out of a movie, you turned your head and locked eyes with him. The two of you couldn't have been more than thirty feet apart and it was like everyone and everything around you had stopped - just for a moment. A blip in time. And then a smile crept across your face and your eyes lit up and the world started again.-- never getting over it. i'm melting into a puddle of yearning

This - this is what he had been missing for the last three months. Home. Home. Home. Bradley was home. With you. And holding you.//"Hey, kid." You tightened your hold on him at the moniker. "You miss me?"-- Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!! He's home, he's calling her kid, and Alexa is crying

your first kiss in three months. Thirteen weeks. Ninety-one days. Two thousand one hundred ninety-one hours. -- my most precious and loveable nerddddd. i love that he did the math

Everything about you felt safe and precious. - 🥰 (i'm on my laptop and desktop tumblr doesn't have the big water eyed happy smile one, so just imagine it for me, ok?)

“Well,” Bradley steered you both away from the crush, “I’ll try my hardest to make it feel real for you later.” -- CHEEKY BOY YOUR DAD IS RIGHT THERE

All he wanted to do was play out one of those cheeky little emails of ours in excruciating detail. With his girl. - disrespectfully that's all i want too 💁🏼‍♀️

It felt like he’d just gotten caught necking his girlfriend behind the bleachers by his father - and well…-- (ughhh they dont have the blushy hand over the mouth one either, so conjure it up for me please and thanks) but also THAT'S HIS DAD THAT'S HIS DAD

But as much as he wanted to have ice cream with you and Maverick like he was celebrating a little league baseball win-- plssssssssssss lololololol

Was it a little annoying and did it make him irrationally jealous? Sure. But it was also oddly sweet. There were a lot worse things than having your girlfriend genuinely like hanging out with your dad. Plus, Bradley’s didn’t think you really knew you had a crush on him.-- the man has multitudes, lololol. I'll never not be amused by the fact she is crushing on Mav, like it's so cute I can'tttt

Otherwise known both as the smallest car in the world and Bradley’s inheritance. -- THIS PART WILL NEVER NOT SEND MEEEE IT IS SO FUCKING FUNNY I AM WHEEZINGGGGG. It'll be his dowery when it comes time for them to get hitched, lololol

So, now his knees were up to his shoulders and you two were separated by an armrest because the damn Italians hated fun and had foregone a bench seat. -- huffy bradley is my everythinggggggg

Need you by my side, girl you’ll be my bride //You’ll never be denied everlasting love //That was you. That was you and him. Everlasting love. -- SCREAMING DYING AND CRYINGGGGGGG

After a long shower with all his favorite products and even some new ones you had brought over-- the man has an affinity for luxury hair products! those are some high maintence curls! no basic 5-in-1 for that soft head of hair

Originally, Bradley had wanted to get you some frilly old thing, dainty and cute and proper if only to feed some long repressed kink of his.-- g i g g l i n g

Bradley shrugged. “Just wanna be near you, kid.” Were you nervous about cooking? Was that why you didn’t want him in the kitchen with you? He backtracked. “If that’s alright?”-- OH I AM TOO SOFT FOR THIS

“- Because this is it,” he interrupted. Because you and I are it.//“Yeah. Because this is it,” you returned, equally as resolute.---- AHHHHHHH I LOVE THEM KNOWING IT AND SAYING IT AND CONFIRMING IT

nothing soothes the ache inside me like you do. need you to call me good girl, pretty girl, sweet girl, anything as long as it’s yours.-- ANYTHING AS LONG AS IT'S YOURSSSS. oh i'll never get over THAT (the italics are vv necessary) email

No, I shouldn’t have sent you that email. It wasn’t proper, it was embarrassing for you and me and I was just missing you so much and in such a different way that I’ve never experienced before when you’d been gone and - I couldn’t bear not telling you for another moment.-- oh i just want to hug her!! she's so in her head, and hasn't had him to ease those anxieties, of course all those voices in her head have been getting louder 😭 it's been loud for Bradley on that carrier but even in the too quiet of their home, she's had her own inescapable loudness

“‘Kept picturing you in your bunk writing it while fisting your cock. And then I was laying next to you in your bunk - and it had to be a secret. I had to keep quiet - just like at Thanksgiving - and not make a peep.”-- eep!!! i need it, i want it!!

Now say thank you Bradley. Good girl. -- 🙃 yes sir ltcdr bradshaw sir

Where are you going to have me first?/In our bed, in our house, after you make me dinner in our kitchen. - OUR OUR OUR OUR OUR

the dryer hasn’t even finished your first load yet-- like I love that they're talking, like the desire for each other physically is very much there for both of them. but that emotional intimacy is what they NEED. having these chats so that they can be fully present and on the same page, just makes everything better. Like they're still going to have mindblowing sex, but it's a closeness in more than just one way that they're both seeking, and it's such a unique perspective to the homecoming fics that we usually see. and while i love a smuty reunion and don't think there's anythig bad about that, I really love these softer things that show a couple is more than the sex they have. and this bit is just so domestic. like i'm oof-ed by it! the laundry is going! the garlic is simmering! i just love it

sometimes it hits me that you’re not even fully mine? That a part of you will always want to be in the sky or out at sea because you have this other entity that tells you what to do? And when to do it and what to wear and how you should act? Where you’re Rooster and not my Bradley?”-- the ultimate dichotomy. he's himself, but not. like he can only give so much, but he can't give all of himself because not even he has that to offer.

“I think I wrote five different responses to you after - deleted all of them.”-- I think about this part all the time! that we got to see the axed email, when bradley never did. and just how in her head she was (is) about it.

Even though it felt like his tattoo was burning into his skin - xxxix, xxxix, xxxix, the number ran through his head constantly as of late - he tried to put on a brave face. Everything you were saying was what he had been mulling over for the last three months. Thousands of miles apart and you both were still so in-sync.-- THAT TATTOO! the angst! the big feelings!

Because I don’t want us to have kids and still be a ‘rocket man.’ I don’t want them - that little boy in your dream - to wonder if I want to be up in the sky more than I want to be with him. And be with you. I want to be around, I want to be their dad and your husband. I love it, I love flying. But I don’t love it more than being with you and having a family with you. I don’t want to die in an F18 with a family at home.-- oh I have so many feelings about this! my sweet ptsd boy with the trauma. The ghost of his dad sits with him every time he goes up. And I know that during those hops its all he could think about. The bit about him not wanting his kids to wonder if he loves the sky more than them makes my heart hurttttttt.

“Kid, I got six more years and then I’m all yours.” He could feel your tears seeping into his shirt as you cried. “It’s like what I said after you sent me that story - I don’t want our kids chasing ghosts. Not like I did.”//“You’d give us your wild?” you whispered. -- you stoppppppp. you went so hard here and i'm about to throw myself down a well

It was a little fucked, honestly, and he was sure his therapist would have plenty to say about it. But why not avoid something that could end in tragedy for everyone involved?//Why run the risk?//Bradley wasn’t dying in an F18 with a family at home. - i must leave the room now. (the knowing his therapist would have something to say about it always makes me giggle because even he recognizes it's not the healthiest approach, but like he has VALID reasons!

“I know,” your cleared the scratchiness out of your throat, “we talked about waiting to have kids until a couple years after we get married, but if you want to wait until you retire, we’ll do it. And then we’ll get all of you. I want to do everything with you, Bradley.”-- they're such a teammmm! I love how they are always meeting each other where they are at and prioritizing the other ones needs!

“Oh dear,” you said suddenly. Bradley tensed up. “I got tears on your shirt.” //He chuckled. “Don’t worry about it, I know you can afford to get me a new one.”--oh he is so cute I cannot deallll. cheeky boy

Watched his pretty little girlfriend bopping around the kitchen, bopping around the house making sure everything was perfect for him. All you needed was a pretty little dress and a string of pearls to match your earrings. His pretty little housewife. Mrs Bradshaw. Bent over the kitchen island, wearing nothing but a frilly white apron and a pearl necklace as he fucked you from behind - HOUSEWIFE KINKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK YODELINGGGGGGGGG AHHHHHHHHHH

"But those lessons really helped and made me more confident, which is exactly why you gave them to me, so thank you.”//Maybe it wasn’t exactly why he had given them to you, but…//“You’re very welcome.”-- CHEEKY BOY CHEEKY CHEEKY BOYYYYY

The chocolate cake looked heavenly - Ina’s recipe, of course-- OF COURSE

“What? ‘You trying to get me drunk?” //You put your hand over your heart. “I would never! Though, I know your tolerance might be a little shot. Did that affect your stamina, too?”-- 🤗 2 cocktails, wine, an espresso martini?! he's going to be pink in the cheeks and on the flooooooor

“‘You take a picture of it yet?” //“Of the cake?”//“Gotta commemorate this, it’s gorgeous. Need one with you, too!”- SWEET SUPPORTIVE BOY, he is so proud!

“I’ll write sonnets about you, this cake, anything you want, you got me in a good mood, kid.”-- she got hims SLOSHED lololol

“Thought you wanted me in our bed the first time back?” You pressed light kisses across his neck and jawline until you nipped at his ear. “The same bed I’ve been getting myself off in every night since I brought my stuff over.”//“But just like I asked, right? Just your fingers?” You nodded. “Good girl.”-- i feel like i am intruding! this is so 🥵 and so intimate!

The couch felt ten times more inviting with you now than it had earlier in the evening when it had just been Bradley. Because now he had you underneath him with your head on the throw pillows he had made note of earlier, now the candles on the coffee table were lit and were the perfect complement to your perfume, and now the cashmere blanket he had always loved was half draped over you both.-- i love the full circle moment!! how its a house on his own, but a home with her!

where you’d ride him after a long day at work-- their couches do get some milage, hahhahahhahhahaha. they def pay extra for the warranty

“Not tonight, but maybe tomorrow if you’re good for me?”- CHEEKY

Bradley scrunched his nose. “Is this gonna be a normal thing? You doing all the housework? Because that’s not gonna slide, roomie.”-- BRADLEY IS A FEMINIST THERE WILL BE NO INEQUITABLE MENTAL LOAD IN THIS HOUSE NO MAAM

He always liked that, imagining what you were wearing while he was gone. The sporadic pictures hadn’t been enough. You always looked so pretty and he always needed to tell you. -- he's always thinking about her and i'm so soft over it. (and drooling over her wardrobe)

And it was so warm and comfy and his stomach was full and everything smelled so good and he was here. //Finally, he was here with you. //In your house, talking about your future. //Maybe if he just closed his eyes for a few minutes. Maybe if he just took a quick nap…-- sweet content happy boyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

oh i loved this so much!! (even though we know there's more to come in mexicoooooo) but them having this lovey domestic reunion, anto to talk, and to luxuriate in person?? oh how I adored itttttt!

rocketman: part ii - from the back of the cab

Summary: in which lieutenant commander bradshaw finally returns stateside for just about the best damn homecoming he's ever had. it's been three months of countless emails and facetime calls between the two of you, but what awaits you both now that bradley's back? and what does it mean for your relationship going forward? [read part i here]

OR a homecoming 159 emails in the making

Pairing: Rooster x Fem!Reader 10k

Warnings: 18+, explicit language, suggestive dialogue, and suggestive content. a lot of the italic words are direct references to the emails in part i or direct quotes from the rocket man by ray bradbury (read at your own risk because if you picture bradley as the rocket man, you'll cry). the next part will pick up right where this one leaves off and hopefully won't take too long to get out!

from the back of the cab to the airport // i am happy you and i got this hour

Having multiple people, let alone multiple people who loved him more than anything in the world, waiting for him when he got home from a deployment, no matter how brief or long, was definitely a newer experience for Bradley. There was almost a giddiness about him as he said his goodbyes to Bob and Payback and the other pilots he’d flown with from Lemoore. He couldn’t wait to see you in twenty seconds after it’d felt like he’d been gone for twenty years. 

The countless (actually one-hundred and fifty-nine - he’d counted) emails between the two of you had been his saving grace these last three months. You’d emailed him almost every day, sometimes multiple times a day, much to the jealousy of his colleagues. He’d become addicted to them almost. 

How did your cooking class go? What was your day like at work? Yes, he would love to go on a trip to Mexico. No, your mom is an absolute idiot. How did you touch yourself at night? Were you being a good girl for him?

And in twenty seconds he’d have the real thing. He’d have you in his arms, hugging him, kissing him, talking a mile a minute about any and everything under the sun. 

(He knew Maverick would be there, too. He wasn’t being flippant about it or anything - all Bradley had wanted for the last thirteen years was for Maverick to be there when he got home. Last year, when he’d gotten back from three months out near Guam, he’d unabashedly cried from behind his sunglasses when he saw Maverick, Penny, and Amelia waiting for him. Amelia had even made a sign for him with terrible puns and lots of glitter. They’d had Bradley over for dinner - a family dinner - and he had felt on top of the world. Until he’d had to go back to his brand-new, empty house. Bitter with the sweet, he supposed.)

Off to his right, Bradley could see Bob and Callie hugging, and Reuben fussing over his wife’s noticeable baby bump. He smiled at the sight and the thought that he wouldn’t want to leave you while you were pregnant briefly floated through his mind. 

And then, like he had conjured you up, there you were. You hadn’t seen him yet. But Bradley could see you as you craned your neck and stretched on your tiptoes, bobbing and weaving and stretching to try and find him in the crush.

He'd known you were taking a half day to pick him up and you looked so soft and lovely in your off-duty clothes - a simple pair of cropped jeans and a pale blue oxford that he'd later realize was his. Pale blue in a sea of khaki with your sunglasses perched on the top of your head as the sun still beamed strongly onto the asphalt. 

Like something out of a movie, you turned your head and locked eyes with him. The two of you couldn't have been more than thirty feet apart and it was like everyone and everything around you had stopped - just for a moment. A blip in time. And then a smile crept across your face and your eyes lit up and the world started again.

“Bradley!”

With nary a glance back at Maverick, who Bradley had just realized was standing next to you, you ran towards Bradley and into his arms with so much force that he staggered backwards. His seabag made a solid thud on the ground as he wrapped his arms around you - one around your waist and another around the back of your neck. You burrowed your face in his neck and he couldn't resist holding you tighter, lifting you slightly so that the tips of your shoes kissed the asphalt. 

This - this is what he had been missing for the last three months. Home. Home. Home. Bradley was home. With you. And holding you. 

"Hey, kid." You tightened your hold on him at the moniker. "You miss me?"

“More than anything.” Not even a second after he put you down, your hands were running across his cheeks and neck. "Are you alright? Do you need anything? I have snacks in the car if you're hungry or -"

He cut you off with a kiss, your first kiss in three months. Thirteen weeks. Ninety-one days. Two thousand one hundred ninety-one hours. 

Bradley knew he would have a lot more of these homecomings - had even had some with you already. But he would never forget this one - his favorite homecoming. Two weeks, ten days, three days; it was nothing. Nothing compared to being in your arms again after three months apart. Nothing compared to kissing you again after three months. 

There was so much genuine love and longing in you - in him - that Bradley already dreaded when he’d leave you again. Because there would always be another time. 

At least until he broke the cycle. 

(Don’t ever be a rocket man. Promise me you won’t be like me.) 

But for now you were safe in his arms, feeling and smelling and sounding like home and god - for now that was enough. 

Your voice was similarly muffled. “Oh, bubs. I missed you so much. I can’t believe you’re finally home.”

“And I can’t believe you’re in front of me right now.” 

He wanted to touch you everywhere. Your cheeks, your hair, your shoulders, your legs, your breasts. Everywhere. There was no way he could ever get enough of you. 

You tilted your head up and smiled at him. “I love you.”

“Love you, too. Let’s go home.” The smile that lit up your face could guide Bradley home on even his darkest days. 

Before setting off, he gave you another kiss, this one just as sweet, and the two of you started making your way to the gate and by the other families milling around. It was a bit awkward balancing his arm around your shoulder with his seabag, but it was all worth it to have you tucked into his side again. You were so soft and warm and smelled so pretty. He couldn’t get over it. Everything about you felt safe and precious. 

“I can’t wait for you to see the house! I have almost everything situated, just a couple seasonal clothes and coats at my old place. I thought maybe we could go after work on Tuesday - unless you’re in a debrief or something or have other plans?”

Bradley squeezed you closer to his side. “Nah, I should be done by Monday afternoon, so Tuesday’s perfect.”

You nuzzled your face against his chest. “I can’t believe you’re home.” And then softer still, “I’m gonna keep saying it because it still doesn’t feel real.”

“Well,” Bradley steered you both away from the crush, “I’ll try my hardest to make it feel real for you later.” 

And, God, it went straight to his cock, the way you peered up at him, eyes slightly widened. You even bit your lip, cheeky thing. His seabag slipped from his grasp and he wound both arms around your waist pulling you close to him again. All he wanted to do was play out one of those cheeky little emails of ours in excruciating detail. With his girl. 

His wonderful girl. His sweet girl. His smart girl. His, his, his, his -

It was definitely verging on improper, the way he was kissing you now. But Bradley didn’t care. Not when you felt and smelled and tasted so fucking good -

“- Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw!” 

You whined against Bradley’s lips when he pulled away. It felt like he’d just gotten caught necking his girlfriend behind the bleachers by his father - and well…

Bradley cleared his throat and hoped his cheeks weren’t too red. “Captain Mitchell…”

They exchanged salutes, Maverick’s face all serious until Bradley could see him fighting a smile. There was a beat and then Bradley wrapped his arms around Mav in a tight hug. 

“Good to see you, kiddo.” 

“You too, Mav.” 

He let Bradley go to look him over much like you had. It warmed his heart to be fussed over by his dad. To have the two most important people in his life be there to pick him up and bring him home.

“Come on you two, ice cream? My treat?”

You gasped. “Now Captain Mitchell, you wouldn’t be suggesting we spoil Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw’s dinner with ice cream, would you?”

Bradley hadn’t had ice cream in weeks. And a vanilla soft serve with chocolate jimmies sounded like absolute heaven right now. But as much as he wanted to have ice cream with you and Maverick like he was celebrating a little league baseball win, Bradley wanted to go home with you even more. He would see Mav during the week while you were at the office. 

Right now, he just wanted to go home with his girl.

“Nah, I think we’re gonna head home. But I’ll take a raincheck for Monday?”

Mav nodded. “Sounds good to me, I’ll bring the car round then?”

“Sounds good, thanks!” you chirped.

Wait, what? Before Bradley could even question him, Maverick was off towards the parking lot - leaving you in his direct line of fire. 

Which, to be fair, you did look contrite. “Pete thought it would be easier if he drove, especially with all the people around…”

And was Bradley really going to be mad at Maverick for caring too much? For wanting to spend time with his kid after he got home from a three month deployment? No. Not even at the expense of a twenty minute car ride home alone with you. 

“I should’ve told you earlier he was driving, sorry.”

“No, no, it’s fine.” You both started making your way to the gate again. “Probably gave him an excuse to take the rest of the afternoon off, too.”

You giggled. “I asked if he wanted to get lunch beforehand, but he said he was wrapping something up.”

Bradley’s stride momentarily faltered. Right, he forgot about that - your little lunch dates with Maverick. Was it a little annoying and did it make him irrationally jealous? Sure. But it was also oddly sweet. There were a lot worse things than having your girlfriend genuinely like hanging out with your dad. Plus, Bradley’s didn’t think you really knew you had a crush on him.

“I’m sure you two had plenty of time to catch up while I was gone, but now you’re all mine, kid.”

You wrapped your hands around his upper arm and gave it a squeeze. With a few nods at his fellow aviators and other assorted crew members, you two made it through the gate and to the parking lot where Maverick was waiting in his 1962 Ferrari 250 GTE. 

Otherwise known both as the smallest car in the world and Bradley’s inheritance. 

The car was in really good shape and drove like a dream. But it was very much not designed for a 6’1” naval aviator - especially when one was relegated to the back seat. Because Bradley didn’t want you to be in the back seat alone and you had refused to sit in the front. 

So, now his knees were up to his shoulders and you two were separated by an armrest because the damn Italians hated fun and had foregone a bench seat. 

Though this did not stop you from laying a cheeky hand on his knee, inching it higher and higher up his thigh as you crossed the Coronado Bridge. You glanced over at Bradley and winked, stopping yourself from getting higher by holding his hand instead. 

It was never a long drive back to his - your house, but today it seemed to fly by ever faster. Maverick was unusually chatty in the front seat, asking about your upcoming trip and if you needed a ride to the airport on Thursday morning, while also telling Bradley about the newly renovated ready room on base. 

The chatter petered off into the background as Bradley suddenly zeroed in on the song playing on the radio - Everlasting Love. He found himself mouthing the lyrics. 

Need you by my side, girl you’ll be my bride 

You’ll never be denied everlasting love 

That was you. That was you and him. Everlasting love. 

He squeezed your hand and brought it to his lips for a kiss. And while you and Maverick chatted and told Bradley some of the more lighter happenings of the last three months - mainly the raccoon garage saga - he was counting down the minutes till it was just you and him. Peace and quiet with his everlasting love.

Which was really everything he could ever want. 

------------------

After a long shower with all his favorite products and even some new ones you had brought over, Bradley made his way downstairs and was greeted with the unfairly adorable sight of you chopping potatoes at the kitchen island. There was music playing, candles lit, and the smell of something delicious coming from the kitchen. He smiled, seeing you wearing the apron he’d picked out for you all those months ago and was relieved to see that it looked broken in from wear. Because, to be honest, it was nearly impossible to pick out clothes for you.

Originally, Bradley had wanted to get you some frilly old thing, dainty and cute and proper if only to feed some long repressed kink of his. But the denim apron was practical and you would get use out of it for plenty more years to come. 

And he could always get you another one for special occasions. Because he had had a lot of time to think about all those special occasions with you while he was away…

A beautiful smile lit up your face as you saw him pad down the stairs. “My, my, don't you look cozy?”

Once his socked-feet were firmly on the hardwood floor, Bradley spun on his heels showing off his comfy joggers and plain, grey t-shirt. “Do I pass muster?” He pressed a kiss to the cheek you tilted up for him. 

“I’ll think you’ll do, bubs.” He pulled you in for a hug from behind. “Mmmmm, you smell so good.”

He swayed you back and forth in his arms. “I should, I used all your shampoo…” 

“Cheeky boy.” You craned your neck and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. “You want a drink while I make dinner? You can lay on the couch for a bit if you want? You must be exhausted.”

“Oh?” He hadn’t even considered going into the living room, not when you were in the kitchen. “Uhhh, sure, yeah. I’ll take a drink.”

You smiled and pulled back from him. “Old fashioned?” He nodded. You got out a rocks glass from the cabinet and went over to the bar cart in the dining room for the whiskey and bitters. “I got those fancy bitters at that liquor store you like.”

“Did you take care of everything?” He said it to hide his own reddened cheeks, but you appeared equally as bashful.

“Tried too.”

“You gonna have one, too?” 

You nodded. “Yeah, but we’re also having wine with dinner, so just one for now - here you go. Got to start you off slow, Bradshaw.” You slid the glass over to him and held your own out to toast. “To your long awaited homecoming.”

Your eyes locked over the rim of your glasses and you had both barely set them back down on the table before Bradley pressed a kiss to your lips. You tasted like sugar and whiskey and felt like home. 

“Missed you, kid.”

“Missed you, too, rocketman. You have no idea how happy I am that you’re home.” You kissed him again. “Now, you gotta let me finish cooking. The table’s already set, so there’s nothing for you to do, but relax.”

“Fine, fine,” he heaved out a great sigh, “banishing me already and I’ve only been home for a few hours, I see how it is - owww!” You smacked his ass with a dishtowel. “Alright, I’m going, I’m going.”

The living room looked nearly identical to how it had when Bradley had left in December - minus the Christmas tree, of course - but there were still little touches of you everywhere. The pillows were arranged far nicer than Bradley had ever been able to manage and there were three new candles of differing heights on the coffee table. Plus, the cream colored cashmere blanket from your apartment that he always stole was artfully strewn across the back of one of the leather sofas. 

With one glance back towards you in the kitchen - you were completely focused on some Russet potatoes - Bradley flopped onto the couch and tucked himself under the blanket. It was warm and cozy and so comfortable under there in his couch clothes in the house you two shared. Quiet, too, even with some Van Morrison playing from the kitchen. It was the kind of quiet that could lull Bradley to a peaceful sleep, especially after having been ensconced in constant noise for the last three months.

And he tried for half an hour - he really did. He thought of how excited you were to show him the perfectly organized closet and how you’d put all the little bits and bobs you’d gotten for him over the last three months in the guest room for him to look over at his leisure and how he’d corrected you on where the mail should go. 

It was just - it was too quiet and too perfect and too comfy and he just wanted to be with you. Even if it meant sitting on one of the uncomfortable kitchen barstools. 

You shook your head, but smiled as he approached. “You don’t have to watch me, you must be exhausted?”

Bradley shrugged. “Just wanna be near you, kid.” Were you nervous about cooking? Was that why you didn’t want him in the kitchen with you? He backtracked. “If that’s alright?”

You bit your lip and gestured for Bradley to sit at the island in front of you. There were a couple mise en place bowls laying around, but you quickly made room for Bradley and his drink. 

“It’s like a taping of the Barefoot Contessa.”

You chuckled. “Let’s just hope the food’s as good as Ina’s.”

“Walk me through it.”

With a teasing smile on your face, you went back to mincing the garlic - with a glowing comment from Bradley on your newly acquired knife skills - and he just sat there, chin propped up on his hand watching you explain the next couple steps. You even got a yes, chef out of him when you asked him to turn the music down. The roasted potatoes smelled absolutely divine cooking in the oven and you had just finished snipping the ends off the asparagus when your demeanor suddenly changed. You fiddled with your apron tie and abruptly turned around to face him, looking almost surprised by the action, though you wouldn’t exactly look him in the eye.

“Actually, now that you’re here - or here at the table,” you huffed out a laugh, “there’s something I want to talk to you about that happened while you were gone - no, that’s not - something I was thinking about while you were gone?”

You put the burner down on the sauce pan, leaving the minced garlic to simmer before you were facing Bradley yet again. You looked nervous, unsure of yourself, as you played with the bracelet he had gotten you for Christmas. Had something happened while he was gone that you hadn’t told him about? Were you sick? Hurt? Was there someone - no, no, you’d never.

Bradley leaned back in his chair and hoped he sounded surer than he felt. “Sure, uhh, yeah, go ahead.”

“It actually has to do with some emails I sent you - last week, in particular. One of them is actually that email.” You looked down at the granite countertop as Bradley tried to think of which email would constitute italics. “But I also want to talk about one of the other emails, when I messaged you about that dream I had and kind of how that all falls into everything that we’ve been going through and probably will be going through -”

“- Because this is it,” he interrupted. Because you and I are it.

“Yeah. Because this is it,” you returned, equally as resolute. “So…”

Bradley sat up straighter in his chair and cleared his throat. “Which one do you want to talk about first?”

You fiddled with your apron bow. “Maybe the one from the thirteenth?”

“Which one was that?”

Now you definitely were avoiding looking at him. Your words came out slowly, like you dreaded saying them and Bradley had a sudden inkling that he knew exactly which email you were referencing. 

“The one about me needing you. Needing you to take care of me,” you whispered the last part.

He could feel his cheeks coloring. “Oh. Right, yeah.” 

Bradley had never received an email like that before. Had never even received a text like that before. It was just so raw and almost animalistic the way your need for him jumped off the page.

nothing soothes the ache inside me like you do. need you to call me good girl, pretty girl, sweet girl, anything as long as it’s yours.

“I shouldn’t have sent that one to you - especially since if I could’ve waited five more days, none of this would’ve happened. It’s just - I needed you so badly and wanted you - ugh, no! No, I shouldn’t have sent you that email. It wasn’t proper, it was embarrassing for you and me and I was just missing you so much and in such a different way that I’ve never experienced before when you’d been gone and - I couldn’t bear not telling you for another moment. Because no one was there to tell me what to do or -”

You threw your hands out and put them on the top of your head. God, it looked like you were about to cry. And it broke Bradley’s heart. He pushed his barstool back from the island and padded over towards you. 

“Come ‘ere, kid.” 

You let out a sigh and your eyes were swimming with tears as you fell into Bradley’s arms. You felt small in his arms - not necessarily in the physical sense, but like you were folding in on yourself. He needed to take care of you - take you, take you, take you - 

“Shh, shh, it’s okay, whenever you want, it’s fine.” Bradley pressed a kiss to your forehead and squeezed you tighter. You held on to him tightly, which muffled your next words. 

“I’ve never had someone who I need in that way. And it’s not even necessarily about the sex, itself. I could go months without having sex - had before I met you. It was never something I really needed to get by, I guess? I could take care of it on my own. 

“But then - then I met you and you just? You make me need you - make me crave you, you tell me what to do, make me want to please you. And then you just leave for three months and I have to learn how to do all that on my own and it was just so hard? It felt like I dropped? Like everything caught up to me after all those months and weeks and I felt scared and lonely and needy and desperate for you and for you to tell me I’m a good girl and take care of me and be my d - be dominant with me.”

Your breathing quickened as you talked and Bradley felt you getting more worked up. He rubbed his hands across your back, hoping it would soothe the ache inside of you, if only a little bit. “Shh, shh, it’s okay, kid.”

i need you i need you i need you i need you bradley bradley bradley bradley

You sniffled. “I guess I just didn’t think - I mean, I knew other people would see it - and I did think that was kind of hot, especially when you called me out for it - it was only after, when I’d realized what I’d done that I saw how embarrassing it was for you. 

“Like Joe from Comms being like hey, did you know Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw’s girlfriend is a horny, pathetic, subby mess for him? You gotta see it, man. She couldn’t even make it three months without getting fucked. He can’t even take care of his g -”

“- Stop it.” Bradley grabbed your chin. “You know that’s not true.” 

“Maybe.” You shrugged. “But I was already feeling shitty about my mom and being so busy at work and how I loo -” you broke off and Bradley desperately wanted you to finish the thought. “I guess it all caught up to me.”

“But I wrote back. I wrote back and told you everything I wanted you to hear and what you needed to hear. And god, I’d do it again, I’d do it in a heartbeat if it brought you comfort and I probably should’ve done it sooner.” 

nothing stretches me out like you do, nothing makes me feel as small as you do, nothing makes me flush like the sound of your voice against my neck as i come, nothing soothes the ache inside me like you do

You squeezed your arms around his stomach and breathed him in. God, he loved you so much, he’d say anything and do anything to make you realize that. 

“I needed it, what you wrote me, and I needed to tell you what I said, but I should’ve waited so, I’m sorry, can you forgive me?”

“There’s nothing to forgive, kid. You message me when you need me, no matter how.” He kissed your temple. “I know we’ve never really talked about how that part of our relationship would work while I was gone, so maybe next time we just make a plan?”

You nodded. “I’d like that. I know it’s not like that all the time between us, so I didn’t even think of it before you left.”

“I hadn’t either,” he confessed.

Long distance d/s relationship reddit would be Bradley’s best friend over the next few days. Neither of you would have to go through that again, not if he had something to say about it. The whole idea of not being allowed to use anything besides your fingers to masturbate was a good start, but it was just that - a start. Because like you’d said, you two weren’t in that dynamic all the time, but you both needed it. It was new for both of you. You’d just have to come up with a list together. 

But just to give you a little encouragement in the meantime…

“And let’s not forget…” You peered up at him. “You did tell me you read my email seven times…”

You giggled and shoved his shoulder. “Might’ve been an understatement.”

“Oh?”

“I think I came three times that first night alone.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Mmmhm.” You wrapped your arms around his neck and played with the ends of his hair. “‘Kept picturing you in your bunk writing it while fisting your cock. And then I was laying next to you in your bunk - and it had to be a secret. I had to keep quiet - just like at Thanksgiving - and not make a peep.”

“But you don’t like to be quiet…” 

He crowded you against the island and rolled his hips against yours. The thin fabric of his joggers did little to hide how much he desired you, especially after the conversation you’d just had. 

His subby little girlfriend. God, he couldn’t wait to take you apart bit by bit later. 

Now say thank you Bradley. Good girl. 

Though, that’s not to say that you couldn’t partake in a little preview now. Bradley’s lips crashed against yours, caught up in the furor and headiness of it all, and your body melted against his. Three months later and you still responded so well to him. Your breathy little sighs as he bit your lip and pressed countless kisses along your jawline and neck sounded like heaven. You smelled so sweet, tasted so sweet, felt so sweet - he kissed you again, coaxing your mouth back open.

“Bradley, bubs, I -” you gasped against his lips, “I need to turn the stove off if we’re going to -”

Without taking his lips off yours, Bradley reached behind his back and turned off the gas burner. The garlic still sizzled in the pan, but now without the risk of burning the house down. You could put fresh garlic on later, now he just wanted you. 

His hands went back to their place on your hips before the left slid underneath your oxford and up your body. You stiffened slightly, but welcomed his touch, if only for a moment before you pulled back from him. 

“We have to - I have to finish dinner.” He nodded, albeit reluctantly. You pecked his lips again. 

There was something deeply erotic about waiting - even if it was just for a couple of hours. 

Where are you going to have me first?

In our bed, in our house, after you make me dinner in our kitchen. 

Bradley cleared his throat. “You said you wanted to talk about another email? The one about your dream, right? The one with our kid.”

It felt right saying it - our kid. 

God, Bradley, I wish you were here right now so you could hold me and tell me you loved me because I just want to feel your arms around me and know you’re real. I want to tell you about the little boy - the perfect mix of me and you

“We can wait until dinner - or even after dinner, if you want?” You didn’t give him a chance to respond. “I’m sorry I’m dropping all this on you. I know you’ll say otherwise, but I shouldn’t have done this right when you came home - the dryer hasn’t even finished your first load yet. I know you’re exhausted and definitely have your own stuff to work through after being gone and we should be having sex on the floor or over the arm of the couch, not listening to me blubber -”

Bradley shook his head and interrupted you. He didn’t want to give you another moment to doubt yourself. 

“- Hey, hey. I wanna talk about the heavy stuff with you, it’s okay. And I’d rather we do it now so we can really enjoy these next few days together - and maybe then have sex on the floor and over the arm of the couch. I don’t want this hanging over your head, kid. 

“And you’re not alone in thinking about that over the last few months - it’s probably been even longer for me…”

You wiped at the tears pooling in your eyes. “Really?” 

“You know you’re it for me, kid.” Have been since our fourth date went unsaid. “So, come on, walk me through it.”

You leaned against the back counter near the stove, while Bradley mirrored you against the island. You sighed. 

“I love you so much - sometimes I’m scared that I love you this much and that it’s not quite been a year since we met. And I never thought I’d be so heart achingly in love with someone in the Navy, of all things, and just - sometimes it hits me that you’re not even fully mine? That a part of you will always want to be in the sky or out at sea because you have this other entity that tells you what to do? And when to do it and what to wear and how you should act? Where you’re Rooster and not my Bradley?”

Bradley frowned at the use of his callsign coming from your lips. It didn’t feel right, it didn’t sound right. He didn’t want to be Rooster around you. He liked that he didn’t have to be Rooster around you.

“And it makes me absolutely crazy because you love it and you’re not going to stop - and you shouldn’t stop, not for me! But, god, Bradley, sometimes I want to shake you and hold you down and beg you to stay. Like that fucking story.” You wiped your eyes. 

“It’s all I wanted to tell you when I had that dream. About how I want you to come home so badly. I want you to stay here with me forever and never leave and to have that cute little boy who was the perfect mix of me and you and to have you here in my arms every night. And I know it’s selfish of me to ask or even make you think about it, but I want you right here. I don’t want you looking at the sky when you’re here and wanting to be up there. And I know you don’t either, Bradley. You give everything to everyone, you don’t do things by halves.” 

You both stood there, Bradley stunned by your words, and you, seemingly stunned that you’d actually said them. He took a step towards you, but didn’t cross that final barrier to touch you. He remembered highlighting a particular passage from the story in his response back to you and how he never wanted you to feel the same way as Lily. He didn’t want to let it - flying, the Navy, all of it get a hold of him.

“Don’t ever be a Rocket Man.” I stopped. “I mean it,” he said. “Because when you’re out there you want to be here, and when you’re here you want to be out there. Don’t start that. Don’t let it get hold of you.” “But-“ “You don’t know what it is. Every time I’m out there I think, If I ever get back to Earth I’ll stay there; I’ll never go out again. But I go out, and I guess I’ll always go out.”

You sniffled and wiped your eyes on your sleeve. “And I was so scared when you didn’t get back to me right away. Thought I’d scared you off…” You glanced down at the floor and played with your bracelet. It looked so fragile and dainty on your wrist. “I think I wrote five different responses to you after - deleted all of them.”

Bradley nudged your foot with his own and got you to look up at him. Even though it felt like his tattoo was burning into his skin - xxxix, xxxix, xxxix, the number ran through his head constantly as of late - he tried to put on a brave face. Everything you were saying was what he had been mulling over for the last three months. Thousands of miles apart and you both were still so in-sync. He cleared his throat before speaking. 

“You turned my life on its head when you sent me that story.” Even weeks later, he was still in disbelief. “And I know it wouldn’t have changed anything - not really - but I kept - I keep wondering how my dad would’ve reacted to it? Or my mom? I don’t think it would’ve made anything different, but just knowing about it? Because I don’t want us to have kids and still be a ‘rocket man.’ I don’t want them - that little boy in your dream - to wonder if I want to be up in the sky more than I want to be with him. And be with you. I want to be around, I want to be their dad and your husband. I love it, I love flying. But I don’t love it more than being with you and having a family with you. I don’t want to die in an F18 with a family at home.”

You let out a sob and he wrapped his arms around you and slowly swayed you from side to side. “Kid, I got six more years and then I’m all yours.” He could feel your tears seeping into his shirt as you cried. “It’s like what I said after you sent me that story - I don’t want our kids chasing ghosts. Not like I did.”

“You’d give us your wild?” you whispered. 

Bradley nodded and felt his own eyes welling up. “I want us to have what my mom and I didn’t. And it’s not that my mom wasn’t enough, but there was always a piece missing for both of us - Maverick, too.” You wiped the tears away from his eyes. “I love you, so, so much, kid. You know I’m gonna marry you. And I just want to be yours when it comes time for us to have a family.”

Honestly, it was a relief that you’d brought all this up. It only reaffirmed the thought that had been bouncing around Bradley’s head lately.

You two wouldn’t have kids until he was out of the Navy. 

There were six years until Bradley could put in his twenty years and retire. It was a little fucked, honestly, and he was sure his therapist would have plenty to say about it. But why not avoid something that could end in tragedy for everyone involved?

Why run the risk?

Bradley wasn’t dying in an F18 with a family at home.  

And he knew his logic wasn’t exactly sound. It didn’t entirely make sense even to himself. There would be plenty of times over the next six years where he could get into an accident or not come home from a mission. He understood that. 

Except, currently, there wasn’t a kid waiting at home for him. There wasn’t a three year old Bradley waiting at home and being told by his mom that his dad wasn’t coming home. He knew that if you had a family, it would be harder for you to move on if something happened to him. And he didn’t want to put you and any future little nuggets through that. He didn’t want to be a rocketman with them.

Bradley wasn’t dying in an F18 with a family at home. 

He wasn’t going to do that to your family. So, why not just wait to have a family until after he got out of the Navy? It seemed obvious. Perfectly so. The words had been ready to pour out of his mouth, except you beat him to it.

“I know,” your cleared the scratchiness out of your throat, “we talked about waiting to have kids until a couple years after we get married, but if you want to wait until you retire, we’ll do it. And then we’ll get all of you. I want to do everything with you, Bradley.”

Give you my wild, give you a child.

Bradley wrapped you up in his arms and squeezed you hard. “I love you, I love you, I love you. God, I love you so much.” He kissed your forehead and cheeks and lips and tried his damndest to pour all the love he had for you into it.

“I love you, too, Bradley,” you said simply. 

And maybe it wasn’t exactly healthy to wait and almost be consumed by this desperate need to control both your lives and have a countdown clock to when everything would be okay. Because maybe things wouldn’t be okay in six years? And maybe you and Bradley would get in a car accident tomorrow or maybe you both would have trouble having kids or or or…

But Bradley wasn’t dying in an F18 with a family at home.  

He would need to talk about this with his therapist at some point. The therapist the Navy gave him eighteen months ago after he ‘recklessly’ went back to save Maverick. The therapist that he just never stopped seeing even though he was cleared from last April. 

“We’re a bit of a mess, aren’t we?” Bradley asked after a moment.

You pulled back. “Maybe? And maybe it’s a little extreme for both of us to think like that, but we’ll make it work, okay? However we have to, we’ll make it work for us.” You punctuated your words with a quick kiss over his heart. 

“Oh dear,” you said suddenly. Bradley tensed up. “I got tears on your shirt.” 

He chuckled. “Don’t worry about it, I know you can afford to get me a new one.” You shoved his shoulder and you both laughed. And just like that, the mood was lifted. 

Bradley had been right earlier - he felt lighter. You looked lighter. And that wasn’t to say that you’d looked gloomy or upset or scared before, but your shoulders weren’t as tense and you kept smiling, at him, at whatever you were cooking, at nothing.

This could be his life every night. You could be together like this forever. Cooking dinner side by side, talking about where the mail should go (it very much was not on the hall table, that was for damn sure), complaining about Mr. Harrington next door or arguing over who should vacuum. All the little things that made that big life together. The one you both wanted so badly. 

And contrary to your earlier statement, you did make you and Bradley another drink before dinner. In fact, it probably was what gave you the courage to attempt to flip the chicken in the saucepan like a regular José Andrés. (Even more surprising was the fact that you didn’t drop any.)

Once the potatoes finished, you swapped them in the oven for the asparagus, hoping the former would cool while the latter was roasting. All the while, you talked Bradley through everything - how much oil you added to the asparagus, where you’d gotten the potatoes, and the recipe for the chocolate cake you’d made for dessert. 

It was - well, Bradley didn’t really have a word for what it was. His first thought was how nice it was seeing you so confident and capable and proud of yourself. But his second thought was that it was also oddly stirring seeing you do all this for him while he just watched. 

Watched his pretty little girlfriend bopping around the kitchen, bopping around the house making sure everything was perfect for him. All you needed was a pretty little dress and a string of pearls to match your earrings. His pretty little housewife. Mrs Bradshaw. Bent over the kitchen island, wearing nothing but a frilly white apron and a pearl necklace as he fucked you from behind -

“All set!” Your cheerful voice interrupted Bradley’s fantasy before it could really start. He had zoned out while you’d been prattling on about the herb cutting scissors you wanted to get at Crate & Barrel. “Shall we?”

Bradley readjusted himself before getting up from his seat and helping you bring the drinks and serving dishes into the dining room. 

Mrs Bradshaw.

-----------------

“So, how is it?” you asked once the food had been served and the wine had been poured. You had your chin propped up on your fist as you watched Bradley take the first few, slow bites of food. 

It was good. It was more than good, it was excellent. It was hot and perfectly seasoned and all the textures were just right. And it wasn’t just because he’d been on an aircraft carrier, eating out of the officer’s mess everyday. Because the food was actually pretty good on the carrier and the Aussies had even treated him to a couple meals. 

But he wouldn’t be Bradley and you wouldn’t be you if he didn’t mess with you a little. He tilted his head back and forth, trying to look like he was mulling it over. “It’s good…”

You nudged his foot under the table once you saw the smile threatening to break out on his face. “You ass.” The words lacked any heat.

Bradley took another bite of potatoes before speaking. “It’s really good, kid, seriously. You killed it. Seemed like you really enjoyed it, too.”

“I did,” you nodded, “I just always used to be so nervous I’d undercook something and make everyone sick, you know? Or that people would be lying to me about the food and that it was burnt or under-seasoned or something? But those lessons really helped and made me more confident, which is exactly why you gave them to me, so thank you.”

Maybe it wasn’t exactly why he had given them to you, but…

“You’re very welcome.”

Dinner continued on with only light hearted conversation after that. What Reuben and Bob were planning for their leave (Reuben and his wife were going up the coast for a mini-break and then building out the nursery for their baby, while Bob was going home to see his parents), the work you had to finish up before your trip, and what you both were hoping to get out of your vacation (good food, a tan, reading plenty of books, and having copious amounts of sex). 

All the while, Bradley had another helping of everything, except the potatoes, of which he had two additional helpings - you refrained from seconds entirely. You two must have sat at the table for over two and a half hours, talking and eating and laughing. It was perfect. Bradley helped you bring the dishes back into the kitchen; both of you were more than happy to deal with them a little later. 

And then there was the dessert. The chocolate cake looked heavenly - Ina’s recipe, of course - and you asked Bradley if he wanted an espresso martini to wash it down.

“What? ‘You trying to get me drunk?” 

You put your hand over your heart. “I would never! Though, I know your tolerance might be a little shot. Did that affect your stamina, too?”

“Ha, ha, ha hilarious.” He took the cake plate and knife from you while you went over to the bar to make the martinis. “I’ll have you know that the Aussies were very accommodating hosts.”

“The Aussies, huh?”

Bradley shrugged. It wouldn’t be an issue to tell you now, not after he’d been dying to mention it for the past few weeks. “It’s not classified or anything, they just don’t like us talking about it in the moment.”

“Wait,” you came back into the dinning room with a coupe half filled in your right hand. “Did you go to Australia?” 

“Possibly…” You shot him a look. “We do this joint training exercise with them every year. Last year was my first year.”

“That’s so cool! Did you spend much time actually on land or…” You went back to preparing the drinks and tossed your next question over your shoulder. “When was it? I think I saw something about it in the news.”

“After you got back from London. It was just a week for the actual exercise, but there were a lot of meetings in the lead up, we did a couple war-games, too. We were mainly in New South Wales with the aviators, but went up to the North Western Territory for the actual exercises.”

Last year, Bradley hadn’t had the opportunity to really get too involved in the planning aspects and being on base - his promotion hadn’t come through yet, so he had been just a lowly lieutenant - but his elevated rank granted him that privilege this year. 

“Wait, that’s so cool, I’ll have to read up on it more! I definitely remember hearing about it on the news, should’ve made the connection.” You came back over with the drinks. “How were the other pilots? This isn’t going to be some Manchurian Candidate bullshit, is it?”

Bradley barked out a laugh. “Nah, that’ll be Bob.”

“Did it have a fun name? They always seem to!” 

Bradley took a sip of his martini. Damn it was delicious. “Exercise Talisman Sabre - R-E. You want me to cut the cake?”

You nodded. Bradley pulled the cake stand closer to his seat. The cake was stunning. The frosting was definitely homemade and the white piping on the top looked perfect. “‘You take a picture of it yet?” 

“Of the cake?”

“Gotta commemorate this, it’s gorgeous. Need one with you, too!” You smiled bashfully as Bradley snapped a couple pics with his phone and then put it face-up on the table. The picture of the two of you at your Christmas party before his deployment smiled back up at him. 

You sat back down in your chair. “Here’s hoping it tastes just as good.”

There would still be plenty of cake for leftovers, but Bradley thought the two of you deserved a little something extra tonight and measured the first piece a little bigger than he normally would. 

“Oh. You can have that one. I’ll take a smaller piece.” He went to cut another piece, slightly smaller than his. “Little smaller.” He kept scooching the knife closer and closer for your approval until it was only about a third of the size of his piece. “That’s perfect, thanks.”

You took a huge first bite of cake and Bradley did the same. “Oh, god. It’s so good,” he said. “I need the recipe so I can make this every week.” 

Your fork froze midair for a moment, before you took a slightly smaller piece this time. “I don’t know if I can handle this every week...” You chuckled. 

Bradley moaned. “But the ganache! The whipped frosting on the top! Sweetheart, it’s so good. The world cannot be deprived of its beauty.”

That got a proper laugh out of you. “‘You writing sonnets about cake now?”

“I’ll write sonnets about you, this cake, anything you want, you got me in a good mood, kid.” He licked the frosting off his fork and then went back in for the final two bites. 

“That might just be the martini talking, bubs. Here,” you slid your barely eaten plate over towards him, “you can have the rest of mine.”

Bradley frowned. “You sure?”

“Yeah, I had extra batter and made some cupcakes. Had one this morning. I’m chocolate cake’d out.” 

He was a little dubious since you loved chocolate cake, but took your words at face value. 

“But first,” you swiped some extra frosting off your plate and streaked it across Bradley’s cheek, “you got a little something on your face, bubs.”

“Oh no,” he laid it on thick, “guess you’ll have to come over here and help me clean it off.”

In a flash, you were on him - arms wrapped around his neck, legs astride his thigh. Your feet remained firmly on the ground, but Bradley wanted all your weight on him, reminding him that he was here in the house you shared and not back in his bunk on the carrier. 

“There we go.” You swiped the frosting off his cheek and sucked the excess off your finger. “My pretty boy again.”

He smiled. “You say that like you haven’t wanted to fuck me since we got home.”

Your jaw dropped at his words. “I’m trying to draw out the anticipation!” Bradley squeezed your hips and you shifted your weight on his thigh. This time your words came out quieter. “Thought you wanted me in our bed the first time back?” You pressed light kisses across his neck and jawline until you nipped at his ear. “The same bed I’ve been getting myself off in every night since I brought my stuff over.”

“But just like I asked, right? Just your fingers?” You nodded. “Good girl.”

You ducked your head at the praise and then pulled yourself even closer to him before capturing his lips in a deep kiss. You tasted like espresso and chocolate and Bradley wanted to take you right there on the dining room table with little regard for the state of his stem and dish-ware. Slowly, you rocked your body on his lap and let out a breathy gasp against his lips. The seam on your jeans must have been driving you absolutely crazy, but you didn’t let up. And, frankly, Bradley didn’t want you to - all he wanted right now was to keep kissing you, keep pressing his chest against yours, keep grabbing at your hips over your shirt. Except that soon wasn’t enough. 

He slipped his hand underneath your shirt and went straight for your lace bra. He smiled against your lips. Good girl. You wore his favorite one. His hand slid lower to drag his fingers across the soft skin of your stomach and side. God, you were so warm. So soft. But he couldn’t linger on the spot for too long after you pushed his hand away and gestured for him to get up.

Without separating yourselves for too long, you and Bradley made your way from making out on his dining table chair to making out on the couch. You were on your back, half wedged between the back cushion, and entirely under Bradley’s bulk. 

God, had he missed this. Touching you, kissing you, holding you, fucking you. You’d already talked for hours, now he wanted to kiss you for them. 

The couch felt ten times more inviting with you now than it had earlier in the evening when it had just been Bradley. Because now he had you underneath him with your head on the throw pillows he had made note of earlier, now the candles on the coffee table were lit and were the perfect complement to your perfume, and now the cashmere blanket he had always loved was half draped over you both.

This was where you’d watch movies together at night, where you’d open Christmas presents, where you’d ride him after a long day at work, where you’d have meals with the news on in the background, where your kids would watch TV. 

“I love you,” you rasped against his lips. “I love you so much.”

“Love you, love you, love you,” he repeated.

It could have been twenty minutes or an hour later, but now the two of you were just laying side by side on the couch. You were wrapped in Bradley’s arms, nestled against his chest, where you had been pressing little kisses against his neck for the last five minutes. Occasionally, you’d play with the ends of his hair or drag your finger across the scars on his neck. 

Bradley pressed a light kiss to your temple. “This has been really nice, thank you. I’ve never had someone to come home to - not like this.”

You tilted your head up and bit your lip, looking adorably flustered. “I always want to be here when you come home. And I wanted to do something nice for you, make you happy.”

“You made me very happy, always do.”

“Always, huh?” you teased. You kissed his neck. Nipped at his neck. 

Bradley mimicked your tone. “Well, not when I saw the way you put the mail on the hall table…” 

“You gonna punish me?” There was a little glint in your eyes as you said it.

While the idea had plenty of merit, Bradley didn’t want that tonight, he wanted everything to be soft and slow, so he could really get his fill of you. Plus, you’d be so fucking tight for him, so responsive to his touch, he wanted to make that drag out as long as possible. He wanted you to babble, he wanted you to beg.

“Not tonight, but maybe tomorrow if you’re good for me?” He pinched your side and you let out a giggle and then suddenly sat up on the couch, almost startled.

“I should do the dishes, don’t want to leave them for too long. You can head upstairs, though.” You cupped his cheek and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“You sure you don’t need any help?” he said the last word through a yawn. 

“Nope!” You smiled over your shoulder and headed off to the kitchen. “You’re off the hook. I’m gonna finish putting these in the dishwasher and lock-up while you go upstairs and get ready, okay?”

Bradley scrunched his nose. “Is this gonna be a normal thing? You doing all the housework? Because that’s not gonna slide, roomie.”

“Oh, so I’m just your roommate now?” you teased. You bent over the dishwasher to put some larger plates in the back. “I see how it is, Bradshaw.”

He doubled back over to you and wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling your back against his chest. “Got a feeling you’re gonna be my last one,” he murmured against your neck before he pressed kisses against it. 

It was like you melted against him. God, you smelled so pretty and tasted so pretty and looked so pretty and sounded so pretty giggling. And Bradley had never felt so welcomed home before. He couldn’t wait to do this with you every night. 

“Bradley,” you sighed and turned around to face him. “The sooner you let me finish, the sooner I can come upstairs…” You pecked him on the lips. 

Upstairs. Where Bradley would take care of you. 

Take care of you. Take you. Take you take you take you -

He groaned and gave you a longer kiss. “Okay, okay, okay.” He kissed you between each word. “But this is the last time you’re getting away with this...”

“I’ll hold you to it.” You kissed him again. “Now go! Get into something comfortable, powder your nose, touch up your hair -”

“I’m going, I’m going,” he promised. “Don’t be too long, we can always do everything tomorrow morning.”

You waved him off good-naturedly and went about setting the kitchen to rights. Bradley smiled at the sight of you already appearing so at home in his house - your house and headed upstairs. With startling alacrity despite the numerous drinks he’d had and the late hour, Bradley quickly brushed his teeth, did his skincare routine, and turned down the bed for your arrival. 

Even a floor apart, he could still hear the sounds of you puttering around downstairs. If he concentrated really hard, he could imagine exactly what you were doing. 

You had just opened the silverware drawer, probably had just washed and dried something - oh right, he had noticed you used the hand-wash-only salad tongs for the asparagus. Then you opened the tupperware cabinet and got out some snapware and eventually opened the freezer, putting the leftover chicken piccata away for another meal. Then there was the sound of the cake plate on the granite countertop and more snapware. He was still surprised you hadn’t eaten much cake, much of any of the food really, but chalked it up to nerves or excitement at his homecoming.

With a sigh, Bradley laid back against the fluffy pillows lining the headboard. God, he had missed this. His high thread count sheets, your fancy Laundress detergent, his side of the bed - and more importantly, you being on the other side. He stretched and let out a groan, getting comfortable. 

This was perfect. He was home - in the house you now shared. You were going to come upstairs - probably in some cute little outfit - and give him a proper welcome home. Bradley bet you even got a new matching set just for the occasion. The two of you had gotten all the tough conversations out of the way - for the most part - so now you could really enjoy these next few days together before your trip. 

And Bradley was so excited to go to Punta Mita with you. You had done such an amazing job planning everything. He had done some additional research on his flight home earlier and definitely wanted to hit up the spa and maybe sneak in a round of golf over the ten day trip. Plus, you definitely had the cutest fucking outfits planned. He always liked that, imagining what you were wearing while he was gone. The sporadic pictures hadn’t been enough. You always looked so pretty and he always needed to tell you. 

Pretty, pretty, pretty. His pretty girlfriend. Downstairs, making sure everything was all set. He yawned. Mmmmm, he hoped you’d be upstairs soon. His eyelids were getting heavy. 

And it was so warm and comfy and his stomach was full and everything smelled so good and he was here. 

Finally, he was here with you. 

In your house, talking about your future. 

Maybe if he just closed his eyes for a few minutes. Maybe if he just took a quick nap…

a/n - sorry for the cliff hanger, but it's the PERFECT spot for a break! next part will have that first night back AND the lead up to their trip, which will be in the final part! couldn't have gotten this done without all the encouraging messages and texts over the last few weeks - special shout out to @sometimesanalice @callsignspark @notroosterbradshaw @ofstoriesandstardust @cherrycola27 @heartsofminds and @greenorangevioletgrass xxjordan

[kirexa]

List five things that make you happy, then put this in the inbox of the last ten people who reblogged something from you, get to know your mutuals and your followers! (help im being held at gunpoint /nsrs)

I'm not going to continue this, but I'll answer!

(In no particular order)

(This got long so I'm putting a read more)

1 - I actually really like cooking and experimenting in the kitchen! It gets messy alot, but one time I made these mug cakes with literally no recipe and they were pretty decent, which was awesome

2 - Fictional characters! They're all my children, I don't care that I'm younger than most of my beloved characters. This goes for video games, anime, and other types of media. Feel free to recommend me games or animes! I can never find good animes and people I know irl have bad taste in games /j (They have good taste, I'm sure, because they like really popular things but it's just not for me) I have so many favorite characters and I will not choose between any of them

3 - Gift giving! And just making others happy in general. The pure joy I get when someone likes my gifts or just is happy with something I did for them is really real, which is great because sometimes it feels like I'm faking my happiness even if I'm not.

4 - Music! I really enjoy singing along to songs I know and if I dare leave my playlist, which I barely do, I like finding new songs I enjoy. One of my favorite forms of music is character fansongs, which ties into me loving characters, but also I think it's just really beautiful how some writes can tell an entire characters story in a five minute song. All of Mcki Robyns-P Danganronpa songs do this really well, as well as evidentlyfresh and their undertale/deltarune songs. The also have omori songs that I haven't listened to since I haven't played Omori, but I plan to! .. Eventually!

5 - And of course my friends and mutuals!! You're all amazing 🥰. Maybe I don't interact alot but that's because I prefer anon, I simply communicate better that way. I have troubles communicating generally, and I worry less on anon. With my IRL friends I like to play games with them (Jackbox games!! They're great party games) and just doing stuff together. Like me info dumping about my new hyperfixations (currently hxh lol)

Honorary mentions include things like math and my dogs, because I'm really good at math and it's fun for me as long as I know what I'm doing, and my dogs are very fun to play with :)

I might add onto this post at some point simply because it was fun to write this out, haha. I like thinking about the positives in my life ^^

[serlinesstuff]

━ ❝ Some UnOrdinary Incorrect Quotes

I'm obsessed with doing these lmao

Remi: Truth or dare

Arlo: Dare

Remi: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in this room

Arlo: Hey, Elaine

Elaine, blushing: Yes..?

Arlo: Can you move? I'm trying to get to John

-

-

-

John: How do Blyke and Isen usually get out of these messes?

Arlo: They don't. They just make a bigger mess that cancels out the first mess

-

-

-

Arlo: *Accidently eats something spicy and starts tearing up*

Remi: Arlo, look at me, it's okay. I would die for you, I love you so much. You're the best person I know.

Arlo: I'm not crying??

Remi: Sh, it's okay, I'm here now

-

-

-

“Can I copy the homework?”

Remi: I can help you with it!

Blyke: Yeah, sure

John: Bold of you to assume I did the homework

Sera: Lol, nope

Isen: Wait, we had homework?!

Arlo: *Read 5:55 PM*

-

-

-

Arlo: Are you in love with Sera?

John: no..?

Isen: Then why do you draw J+S in hearts everywhere?

John: It stands for sadness and jealousy

-

-

-

Isen: The risk I took was carefully calculated

Blyke: WE ALMOST DIED

Isen: I never said I was good at math

-

-

-

John: I still have a couple knives up my sleeve

Remi: I think you mean "tricks"

Arlo: He does not

John, pulling out a knife: I did not

-

-

-

Arlo: I swear to God I'm the only person here with a braincell

Remi: ALL HAIL THE KEEPER OF THE SACRED BRAINCELL

Isen: ALL HAIL THE KEEPER OF THE SACRED BRAINCELL

John: ALL HAIL THE KEEPER OF THE SACRED BRAINCELL

Blyke: ALL HAIL THE KEEPER OF THE SACRED BRAINCELL

Sera: ALL HAIL THE KEEPER OF THE SACRED BRAINCELL

-

-

-

Isen: Any tips on how to make someone like me?

Arlo: Make them laugh

Isen: Oh wow, for once you actually gave me good advice

Arlo: When people laugh, they close their eyes, so it'd probably be for the best

-

-

-

Remi: I think Isen was right

Blyke: I'm surprised he hasn't marched in here and said 'I told you so'

Remi: He wouldn't do that

Isen: You're right, Remi. I would 100% never say that in my life

Isen: *turns around showing his shirt saying 'Isen told you so' on the back*

-

-

-

*Isen and Blyke talking to Arlo*

Isen: Can we please stay at your place?

Arlo: Why?

Blyke: John played a ouija board and cursed ours

Isen: John doesn't know how to banish spirits, so he just throws salt at them and yells “does this look like a hotel to you?!”

-

-

-

Remi: We've been conducting an ongoing study to see what Isen will and will not eat

John: Grass? Yes

Sera: Moss? Yes

Blyke: Leaves? Ooh yes

John: Shoelaces? Strange but true!

Remi: Twigs? Usually

Sera: Blyke's cooking? Inconclusive.

Blyke: Rocks? Usually, nah

Elaine: How... did you test this?

Sera: You just hand him stuff and say 'eat it' and if he eats it, he eats it.

Elaine: I don't know how to feel about all of this...

Arlo: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SHOELACES WENT?!

-

-

-

Sera: John isn't going to be a problem this time

Arlo: When will you understand? John will always be a problem

-

-

-

Isen: My mind is like an internet browser

Sera: Explain.

Isen: 15 tabs are open, 7 are frozen, and I still don't know where the music is coming from

-

-

-

Blyke: *taps table*

Isen: *taps back*

Arlo: What are they doing?

Sera: Morse code

John: *aggressively taps table*

Blyke: *slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

-

-

-

John: Can I be frank with you guys?

Sera: Sure, but I don't know why changing your name is gonna help

Remi: Can I still be Remi?

Blyke: Shh, let Frank speak

-

-

-

Cecile: Why are Blyke and Isen sitting with their backs to each other?

Remi: They had a fight

Sera: Why are they holding hands

Remi: They get sad when they fight

-

-

-

Remi: Here you go, nice hot cup of coffee

Arlo: It's cold

Remi: Nice cup of coffee

Arlo: It's awful!

Remi: Cup of coffee

Arlo: I'm not even sure this is coffee

Remi: Cup

Arlo: This is a vase

[libraryofloveletters]

also. 15+16 with eddie fluff/comfort including chris because he’s adorable

You Feel Like Home

Eddie Diaz x Reader

Warnings: fem!reader, mentions of alcohol

Prompts: #15: “Did you let yourself in?” // #16: “How did you get in my house?”

Category: fluff

Word Count: 2.1k

Author’s Note: here’s a lil something because I haven’t posted a x reader in so long. Also I didn’t check for errors cause I'm lazy so ignore any mistakes :) 

----

It’s raining, the streets were drenching with water and muck which you found yourself staring at as you sat in your car at the intersection.

You had left your job, more like you were fired for something you didn’t do but you hated your job, 100 and 10% despited it and everyone there- needless to say, you didn’t mind not being there anymore.

The shitty weather on top of the idea of having to find a new job was putting more than damper on your day. So here you were in the middle of the day driving to your best friend’s house. He doesn't like to admit that he’s your best friend but he is and you both knew that.

The driveway was empty and the house was dark, at least from what you could see. Hopping out of the car, you make your way to the front door, the rain drenching your clothing. The key to his house hanging from the bunch you held in your hand, you let yourself in.

“Anyone home?” shouting into the dark house, slipping off your shoes.

There was no answer, you assumed Eddie was at work and Chris was still at school which made sense considering it was 2:30 on a Friday afternoon.

A puddle of water trialed behind you on your way to the bathroom, stopping to get a towel from the cupboard. The wet clothes get stripped off and tossed into the tub, making a mental note to come back and put them in the dryer after you get something to wear.

The towel now wrapped around you, you find your way down the hallway and into Eddie’s bedroom. There was a basket of folded laundry on the bed, deciding that it’s probably better to get something from the basket than to tumble through his drawers.

Just as you go to drop the towel, you hear the front door open and then a woman’s voice.

“Shit shit shit” you mumble to yourself and look around the room frantically- there’s no way you could get dressed before the person gets to the room, you have no choice but you stay the way you are.

The footsteps approaching the room, a knock on the door before it opens, Carla sticks her head in the room and you let out a breath of relief.

“Jesus, it’s just you” sitting on the bed, you smile at her and she laughs softly.

“Who’d you think it was hun?”

“I thought Eddie had come home, with a woman. That would have been hard to explain- ya know, a woman in a towel in his bedroom while he’s not home.”

“Mhm hm,” Carla has one of her famous mischievous looks on her face. “Sure, because it’s normal for you to be half naked in his bedroom when he isn't home.” She laughs.

“Were you waiting for him?” she teased, your face twists and you groan.

“Carla! No, god. I had a shitty day and I wanted to hang out. It was raining cats and dogs when I got here and my clothes got wet.” you explain what happened and she gives you a hum, stepping back out and leaving you to change.

You can hear laughter coming from the bedroom down the hall, you make your way there. Chris sat on his bed, looking out his window while he was on the phone.

“Love you too dad, bye” the phone is set beside him on the bed, you knock on the door and Chris looks back, his face lighting up when he sees you.

“Hey kiddo” smiling at the boy who’s now making his way over to you, you step into the room and meet him halfway.

“Hi! What are you doing here?” he asks you, hugging you.

“Came by to see your dad but he wasn’t home. I’m better now because you’re free” looking down at him, Christopher laughs and holds your hand as the two of you walk down the hallway to the living room. Carla brings him a snack and joins the two of you in the living room, Christopher telling you both about his day at school.

----

Eddie runs to the front door from his truck, the rain had been pouring all day.

“I’m home!” he shouts, as he steps in only for Carla to shush him from the kitchen.

His face screws and he makes his way down the hallway to Christopher’s room but he wasn't in there. Carla sat in the kitchen reading her book, she smiles when he steps in the kitchen.

“Hey, where’s Chris ?” he asks, washing his hands and pulling a pot out of the cupboard.

“Shower,” shutting the book, she slips it into her bag. “You’re going ?” Eddie glances over his shoulder, pouting slightly. Carla always helps him with dinner and truthfully, she’s the better cook out of the two.

“I’ve got myself a hot date tonight” She tells him, giving him a smile before making her way to the front door.

Eddie follows her, “what? really? But who’s going to keep me company while Chris does his homework ?” his hand coming up to his chest as he sighs dramatically.

Carla’s hand meets his, patting his chest. “Chris is done with his work, he had help” nodding towards the couch, Eddie follows her gesture to see you sleep on the couch.

“When did- are those my clothes ?” his mouth hung in disbelief.

Why were you asleep on his couch in his clothes ? He wasn't even home, how the hell did you get in ?

“Mhm hm” Carla hums, a soft laugh slipping past her lips. “Have fun sugar, I'll be back in the morning. Tell lil man I said bye” She steps out, pulling the door shut behind her.

The pattering of feet pulled Eddie’s attention away from a sleeping you on the couch.

“Dad!” Chris’s smile lit up the room, Eddie found himself smiling at his son.

“Hey buddy” he kneeled to hug him, holding him close after a long day at work.

“How was work ?” Christopher asks his father as the two make their way to the kitchen.  

“It was a fine, normal day of us saving the city” Eddie chuckled, smiling at his son who was sitting at the table now. “Hey bud?”

“Mhm hm ?”

“When did y/n get here?”

“I don’t know, she was here when me and Carla got home” he shrugs, turning his attention back to something Eddie had left out on the table.

Eddie is half way into the fridge and it was down to its bare bones. A carton of milk, two eggs left in a tray and a half used stick of butter - guess he had forgotten to go grocery shopping yesterday.

“How does pizza for dinner sound?” Eddie turns to Chris who’s nodding eagerly. Pizza was the way to that kid’s heart.

---

dinner was short, the boys talked about their day. Chris told his father all about his day at school and how they learned about the atmosphere and space in science class and Eddie told him about a resume they had today - the safe for work details of course, he always left out the gruesome parts.

“So Carla told me y/n helped with your homework ?”

“Yeah, I only had math work to do. It was easy”

Eddie hums, it was still relatively early and a Friday afternoon, he thought why not have a movie night.

“Here’s the plan for tonight, you tidy up your room real quick and then we can build a fort and have movie night. How does that sound ?”

“Like a plan!” he smiles at Eddie before getting up. Eddie sits at the table watching Chris make his way into the hallway and towards the bathroom.

The sound of a snore brought him back to reality, he remembered you were still on the couch asleep. He quietly got up and made his way over, crouching in front of the couch.

You looked at peace, which was strange to him because the two of you are always bickering or poking each other about something. The only times he had seen you smile was if someone made fun of him or if you were with Chris - he had never actually seen you relaxed.

“Take a picture and leave or I'm filing a restraining order” you mumble sleepily. Eddie laughed, you were always teasing him about his stare.

Eddie stands, lifting your legs and sitting before dropping them down onto his lap. “How did you get in my house? Did you let yourself in?”

“I used the key” rolling onto your jacket, you shift upwards slightly. The disapproval on Eddie’s face was very much visible.

“I gave you that key for emergencies!”

“It was an emergency!”

Eddie sighs, his hand rubbing the piece of bare skin showing from the rolled up pants. The room is quick, the sound of the rain pouring echoed through the house.

“What’s on your mind ? I can practically see the wrinkles forming on your face”

“Hey!” you nudged him with your foot while he laughed. “Nothing,” sitting up to face him properly. “I just had a shitty day and wanted to see my bes- my friend.”

A small smile appeared on his face. “Your what ?” “Shut up Eddie”

“No no, say it” he grabs your foot, his fingers reaching to the sole of your foot. Your eyes widen, shaking your head. “Don’t you dare.”

“Oh but I do” he smirks before tickling the bottom of your foot. You try to pull your foot away but you’re laughing and wiggling around on the couch so much that you end up rolling off but your foot is still on Eddie’s lap.

There you were lying diagonally off the couch with your feet on his lap. He shifts to the floor, now sitting beside you. The two of you have your backs up against the couch.

“Seriously, talk to me. What’s up ?”

“Just wanted some company. Work was shitty and I- I don’t know. I didn’t know where to go. There’s nothing waiting for me at my place, the weather’s kinda depressing so I didn’t want to go drinking because it would just make me sad” you chuckle, turning your head to face him.

“I got in the car and just drove and I ended up here. This is home, you know? ” you admit. Humming, he smiles.

“I’m glad you felt like you could come here.”

“Well I know you couldn’t kick me out. You love me and my puppy face too much” you pout playfully making his laugh before nudging you with his shoulder.

Eddie’s arm is now over your shoulder, pulling you into his side. “You’re welcomed here anytime.” he presses a kiss to the top of your head.

Tilting your head from his shoulder, you're now face to face with him. There had always been unspoken feelings between the two of you, everyone could see that - even the two of you.

He leans in, a hand cupping your cheek like it was chiseled to fit the curve of your structure perfectly.

The palm of your hand wraps around his wrist, leaning closer to him.

This was the moment you were waiting for.

“DAD!” Chris shouts, causing Eddie to pull away. Not that either of you minded but there does that moment.

“Yeah ?” His hand was still cupping your cheek. “Can we watch a movie now?”

“Of course, pick one out.” He moves his hand to give the remote to Chris, you cheek cold from the loss of touch.

The 3 of you settle into the couch, Christopher between the two of you. The boy settled on Space Jam though he had seen it a million times.

Eddie’s arm is stretched over the back of the couch. It was bent at an awkward position, his fingers barely grazing your cheek, letting you know that he’s right there.

The two of you shared stolen glances all night, watching each other more than the movie. Eventually Chris fell asleep between the two of you.

You felt safe, peaceful, home.

This felt like home.

----- 

taglist: @hailsstormthings @averyhotchner @captainxholmes @advicefromnixxxx @keenmarvellover @beth-winchester21 @fernandaweasley2 @yikesyikesyikes95 @hotchsdarling @duhbar1975 @dralexreid

[julie-schwieters-supremacy]

youved been warned vent under the cut

you make me so mad and yes i get it you have crippling anxiety and cant get out of the house and you might have something else and you also have dpression and whatever shit and youre on meds AND IM SO JEALOUS BECAUSE YOU KNOW AHTS WRONG WITH YOU

and yes its hard and yes i undertsand and yes your mum is the nicest person but strict when it comes to you and yes i udnerstand when you say everyone hates you and yes i undertsand you and wehre youre coming from and yes i get it i get it i get it but GOD why

like please stop makong everything about you like girliepop. miss gurl why like (ok wtfim like rockijg back n forth thats how insane i am) anyhows oh ma daayyyyssss brruoooohhhh i get you have a bad life but like hvnet you thought about other people????????? oh right right right yep i make everthing about me so you play the vistim and say ohhh whenevr i try talk about my feelings its disreagerdede and thy make it about them like girliepop ur not even tryin to be subtle rn

ok fist of all. FIRSTLY youre being a hypocrite. a little bit (a lot). not to call u out but im calling u out. GIRL- also why u gotta call me gay everytime i see a woman on my screen GOD anyways that was random

ANYWHOS BESTIES this betch like girl omg ok look i might be making shit about me but mAYBE if you comMUNICATED THAT i would KNOW and not DO IT anyMOOROEEEE instead of just siTTING THAERE and pLATING THE VICTIM cos GIRL

yeah you have a thing tomorrow and youre failing school cos you acnt get out of the house and your relationship is failing and i dont talk to you anymore and youre hurt and crying and aw i feelbad i swear but havent you realised i dont talk to you anymore and have that connection ecause youre talking to me about your feelings and im not talking you to you about my feelings because whenever i do all you say is "im sorry can i do anything" an im like nope cos its not like you could solve it n we move on BUT when we talk about your feelings oh sob sesh feel so empathic awh pity pity can i do anyhting to help yes motivational words but girliepop at least im trying to help and not mutter a half assed snetence. i notce when youre down or sad but its about you and what you want and maybe if you asked about me or noticed when im feelin down and payed attention to me because i thOUGHT IT WAS EQUAL LIKE AS IN 2 HALVES LIKE 50-50 HELLO MATHS UR SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD AT MATH

yeah maybe if you werent sulking we wouldnt be here. like girl GIRL. please stop being a crybaby and upping everything because you make me feel bad whenever you do something n ur like oH iLL gO BECAUSE ARGH IT MAKES ME SO MAD I WANT TO SAY "oh do it then i double dare you" COS MISS GURL AKJFGHSFH STOP. LIKE I HAVE TO PHYSICALLY STOP MYSELF FROM LAUGHING???? AND SAYING THE MEANEST SHIT COS YOULL PRETEND TO HAVE AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS AND I SWEAR YOU ONLY STARTED BECAUSE I DID BECAUSE I HAVE NEVER EVER SEEN YOU WITH SHIT BEFORE AND YEAH I RESPECT YOUR BOUNDARIES BUT WE ARE LITERALLY SO CLOSE I HAVE BEEN IN YOUR HOUSE MET YOUR FAMILY BEEN THERE FOR EVERY SINGLE MOMENT MAYBE IT WOULD BE NICE IF YOU WERE COMFORTABLE but its fine cos im not an asshole (even if you say i am) and i respect your boundaries :)

so yes ill just shut up and rant on tumblr so i dont explode at you which will cause you to pretend to have an existential criss OMG U KNOW WHAT MAKES ME SO MAD

YOU LYING. I DONT CARE IF YOU DIDNT MAKE THE EDIT AND JUST SAID IT LOOKS COOL BUT BESTIE ITS NOT COOL TAKING OTHER PEOPELS EDITS AND POSTING THEM AS UR OWN. I CAN LITERALLY SEE THE WATERMRK DO U THINK IM DUMB. ALSO THAT ONE TIME WITH THEC HEESE PIE LIKE I KNOW WHAT A STORE BOUGHT PIE LOOKS LIKE AND I KNOW WHAT A HOMEMADE PIE LOOKS LIKE IM LITERALLY SO MUCH BETTER AT COOKING THAN YOU ITS INSULTING HOW YOU THINK IM THIS STUPID

ok im sorry i hope you never read this i swear im just insane im sorry if that didnt make sense and i understand if you, reader, skipped through it because i would too :) (also why tf is there so much sass in this post what)

i am so unhinged rn like the only thing running through my head rn are feelings and not actual thoughts and maybe i should do something about that but im just manically laughing bevause HA

ok no i just had an argument and had to stop myself from saying the meanest shit and i feel like a bad person now but im also mad so like like girl not everything is about you plase stfu kindly :))))))))))))))ADDSGSHKH ahem

hang on this is js unhinged i need to make a vent post istg wtf anyways guys love u alllll

[quirklessidiot]

title : cigarettes and parfaits [3] pairing : older!nanami kento x younger!reader [13 year age gap, ft toji fushiguro] Genre: romance, fluff, slice of life, josei, angst, comedy, strangers to lovers au

Summary: you’re pretty sure you’d remember marrying a man 13 years older than you, right?

Warnings: alcohol, smoking, mild smut, y/n making stupid decisions, everyones a human-au so yeh non-canon stuff and everyone’s happy (periODT) i keep forgeting to add that this isnt beta-rread..all of my stories arent so yeah shshs Notes: ah, i feel like this story will be lengthen more than 8-10 chapters shshshs i wanted to add a little spice anyways thanks for all the comments uwu ily all!

Masterlist || taglist || [prev ; next] [updates; every saturday!]

“Y/N-chan!!!”

You cringe in embarrassment as soon as you hear that awfully familiar and cheerful voice, you could barely remember this man and the events that transpired the night before but here he was, acting like your new best friend. You weren’t even sure if you wanted to go here but you needed clarity. Surely you didn’t just legally marry a man at an Izakaya out of all places last night?

“Oh, you actually did marry him.” Gojo Satoru proclaims as soon as you take a seat across him, he gestures around his face, “I could tell by your whole, ‘I hope this guy is messing with me’ face. You have it, signed and sealed. Even got the cute matchy rings that I had one of my assistants delivered.”

You pale at the thought of his assistant coming in with a silver ring. Wasn’t he sober? How could he not have stopped you two from doing something as reckless and stupid as this? Weren’t older men supposed to be more responsible than this?

“Why the hell didn’t you stop us?” You groaned, burying your face in your hands, embarrassment painted all over your features.

“I was just as drunk as you two.” He confessed, scratching his head, “probably even more drunk but anyways back to the topic in hand, I only remembered it when the same assistant came in and congratulated me about it. It’s good I had your number on my phone before you two bailed.”

“So you don’t really remember?”

“Bits and pieces.” Gojo grinned, this guy was a maniac, how did the serious man you met just this morning have friends like this? You probably wouldn’t even last long, “I did call Nanami-”

He’s cut off by the rough sound of someone pulling a chair out, you immediately jump on your seat when you realize it’s Nanami Kento, the guy from this morning. The man you had recklessly married!

“This better be some prank you’re pulling, Satoru.” His voice was anything but kind that you almost wanted to hide behind Gojo’s back.

“Hey, hey.” Gojo raises his hands, “Don’t look at me. I didn’t force you into anything and stop scaring your poor little partner.”

Nanami snaps his gaze towards you and you notice how his eyes soften just a bit when he sees your red ears and your eyes looking away from him, “You better call Geto and fucking fix this, I refuse to bother this young-”

“It’s fine.” You cut him off, still shy and red, “It’s...fine...I just…Please don’t think I’m burdened by it. It was technically my fault for even agreeing immediately.”

Nanami clenches his jaw and turns away, “Nevertheless. L/N-san’s young. I hope to not be such an uncouth man like you.” he retorts, voice sharp as he eyes the white-haired businessman up and down. Gojo, seemingly used to it, rolls his eyes behind his dark shades.

“Maybe you guys should try it out.”

The blonde man looks like he’s about to smite the white-haired man out of existence yet Satoru remains oblivious to his friend’s gaze, “Don’t ya think so? It will take a while for those divorce papers to settle in so why don’t you two go out and get to know each other? Who knows…” he sing-songs the last part and Nanami is so close to chunking his briefcase towards the tall businessman, not even caring 

“Ah, he’s not exactly wrong, Nanami-san.” you try to calm him down, placing a small hand on his broad shoulder.

“Don’t tell me you’re actually listening to this idiot’s idea.” Nanami replied, gaze narrowing.

“Not really but you have some problems I can help you out on and I have problems that you can help me out on...Of course, the last say is on you...”

“Told you I actually had a brain.” Satoru piped in.

“Shut up, Satoru.” he quips, then turns to you, “I’m thirteen years older than you, L/N-san. I have two high school kids that could pass off as your siblings, and-”

“Well, I technically did marry you.”

“You were drunk.”

“Doesn’t exactly really excuse it.” You laugh nervously, “The whole divorce process usually lasts up to a few months, some even takes a whole year. I could help you out with the boys and I can use you to ward my family off from moving back home.”

Nanami is quiet for a moment, actually thinking about it. Weighing the pros and the cons, not only would you be able to help him out but you’d also be able to get Gojo and blind-dating out of his back.

There really wasn’t anything he could loose, really.

“Or you two might fall in love.” Satoru teases, making Nanami throw him another side-eye, as if saying ‘I dare you to say another word.’

It’s a Thursday today and Sukuna absolutely loathed Thursdays     apparently because it reminded him of Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays. They all were far from the weekend     Everyone seems to be happier than usual though. Maybe it was because you were there teaching some basic shit at the board or something.

“...and if we transfer this here and change the positive to a negative, you’ll end up having five as your answer.” You smile, placing your chalk down, “Does anyone have any questions?”

Echoes of no’s resonated throughout the room.

“Alright then, let’s end the lesson here so you guys can have an early lunch. I don’t think an assignment is in order since many of you were able to get a perfect score in the activity awhile ago.” You winked. A couple of whoops resonated throughout the whole class right after. 

As the kids shuffle out of the room of the class, Sukuna remains behind. The ojisan had cooked them something delicious this morning and he wanted to eat it in peace without that pesky Nobara grabbing a share from his bento and Yuuji’s annoying babbles about horror movies with his best friend Junpei (the only one who was really bearable was Megumi, really)

“Sukuna-kun?” you called out, snapping him out of his small trance,  “Are you alright?”

He notices a glint of worry in your eyes, he had to admit since his transfer here last Monday, you were the least annoying teacher in the academy     the blue-haired professor in Japanese literature was absolute shit since he loved to tease him a lot and that bald-headed teacher in science who looked a lot like Mike Wazowski was an annoying twerp who loved dawdling in him and Yuuji’s business     and you were kind of good at your job. Not only did his idiot of a brother stop coming to him and their ojisan for help in math but he could actually do the worksheets right and get an actual decent grade at it.

“Yeah.” he roughly replies.

“That’s good.” You smiled, he watched as you bind their worksheets together and clip them in utmost delicacy, “You should head to the cafeteria now, I heard they’re serving milk bread today.”

Without saying anything more, you left the room, leaving him there in the silence.

Well, the Christmas tree idiot was right.

You kind of had a motherly aura on you and it didn’t even look forced.

No wonder, everyone in this room was whipped for you despite your subject being a pain in the ass.

“You look like an idiot.” You mumbled as you slapped Mahito’s hand away in annoyance, your workmate wiggling his eyebrows like the little shit he is.

You completely forgot you did have someone like Gojo Satoru in your life and it was one of your co-workers, Mahito, a Japanese literature teacher who was too nosy for his own good.

“You’ve got a ring on your ring finger and a mailman comes in and gives you an invite for Zen’in Toji’s fortieth birthday.” he whistles, “Even Jogo-sensei gossiped by the water cooler awhile ago, saying that you had eloped with the man. Not that I’m judging you or anything...”

You choke on your saliva, clearly thrown off by the backhanded comment. That darn bald-headed fool that looked like the green eyed monster from the DreamWorks cartoon, he sure needed to lay off the gossip and actually focus on his job as the head of the science department, “You’re not denying it.” Mahito stated, narrowing his eyes in suspicion, “Why aren’t you denying it?”

“I’m not dating Megumi-kun’s father.” You grumbled, finishing up your paperwork, “That man is off limits.”

“Right,” he drawls on sarcastically, “...because you have a strict rule against dating hot older men with money.”

“I also teach his kids and his cousin…” You deadpan.

“We don’t even have a rule against that.” He retorts, rolling his eyes, “If we did, Hanami-sensei would’ve been fired a long time ago.”

“You’re an asshole.”

“And you’re so secretive. If it isn’t Toji Zen’in, who’d ask you out?”

“Hey, I do have a man.” You huffed, “and he’s very kind and considerate...”

The image of the tall and lean man sleeping next to you slowly wormed its way back from your memory and you feel your cheeks start to flush. Good god, what were you? twelve? How embarrassing.

You needed to get that image off of your head, it wasn’t right.

It was all temporary, anyways and he doesn’t even see you in that sort of way-

“Yes, I’m Sukuna and Yuuji Itadori’s guardian…” a very familiar stoic voice could be heard from the nearby table, cutting your thoughts short. Wait, were you so head over heels for the man that you started imagining him here? Yuuji and Sukuna’s guardian? Wait a minute.

All color drained from your face as you snap your head behind you to find the same man you were imagining.

Oh no.

Oh no, indeed.

There stood Nanami Kento in all his glory;  crisp suit, stoic face, and eyes laced with mild worry.

“...L/N-sensei is Sukuna-kun’s adviser, by the way. It would be best to discuss this with them.” Akari somberly informed the man, turning to your direction. You don’t miss the shift of expressions when he sees you standing there.

Your mouth parts and you know you look like gawking fish trapped in a small aquarium.

“Akari-sensei’s looking at you with the new hot daddy.” Mahito mumbles next to you, eyeing him up and down, “Definitely wonder where all these old men come from these days.”

You were only half-listening to your co-worker because your head was all over the place, just what were the odds that he was the guardian of the new transferee’s? Just how awkward would everything be? Why did it even have to be at this school out of all places?

Never ending questions pop out of your head as you approached them, “Good afternoon, Nanami-san.” Your smile comes out very stiff and awkward while you hold your hand out for him to shake, clearly there was no memo on how you were suppose to act around your sort-of-fake-husband-whos-kids-you-actually-taught.

Nanami reverts back to his stoic expression as he clears his throat, “Yes, good afternoon to you too, L/N-sensei.” he greets, maintaining a straight-laced tone.

“Akari-sensei says that Sukuna has been quite...rude...in class…” you try to rack your brains up to describe his kid.

“Your son literally pointed out that the history lesson I was teaching was fake and that I should study again so he could get his tuition’s worth.” Akari looks clearly perplexed and ready to throttle the boy if it was legal. You had to admit, Sukuna went overboard with that insult.

You knew how passionate Nitta was about her job and what Sukuna just said to her was like a big ‘fuck you, you suck.’ to her.

“I’ll be sure to talk to him about this,” he sighs, bowing down, “I’d like to ask for forgiveness for that, the boy is a good and smart student-”

“Nanami-san, the school not only cares about grades but character as well.” Akari Nitta sighed, cutting him off, “I’ll let this slide once, if he does that again, it goes on the record.”

You internally bit your cheek, still trying to process everything that was going on.

“I understand. Thank you for that.”

“I’ll walk him out, sensei.” You immediately say soon after, wanting to have some alone time with him, “Let’s go, Nanami-san.”

You walk right next to him silently, some students peerlessly glancing at the tall blonde next to you but you were too immersed in thought to notice the stares, “Nanami-san?” you ask softly as soon as you reach the exit.

Nanami Kento looks at you, his eyes still laced with a bit of worry, “It’s okay.” you silently comforted him, “Just talk to him calmly.”

“That’s not the problem.” he sighed, “I just didn’t expect that the person I married would be the boy’s teacher.”

You sweat drop, “Aren’t you worried about talking to Sukuna? I mean, he literally just disrespected a teacher and you said that he and you weren’t in good-”

“It’s easier to talk to him about that rather than…” he paused, showing his ring, “this.”

You blinked.

Seemed like Nanami knew what to say about the little attitude problem his son had, “So you must be used to this?” you asked, “Him disrespecting the teacher?”

You notice the shift of expressions on his face, you had only known this man for a few days so far but he was starting to get easier to read. His eyes shed more emotion than his face, no wonder he likes wearing those funny sunglasses a lot.

“It’s something I’ve scolded him over a couple of times,” he gruffed, trying to dance around the subject, it seemed like he had such a soft spot to the point where he had a problem with disciplining them, “At times I believe it’s just because he’s way too smart for his age. The boy has read history books for fun when he was a kid and solved quadratic equations to prove that he’s better than me when he was ten.”

“It still doesn’t give him the free pass to say things like that to a teacher”

“I know,” he acknowledged, “I’ll be sure to give him a better scolding-”

“No, you see. This is why he thinks he can get away with it. He isn’t afraid of you. You’ll only probably tell him that you can’t do that.” you frown, crossing your arms, “You do know that not all sensei’s are as nice as Akari-sensei and he could get in trouble for that even more in the future, right?”

Silence lingered between you two for a moment and suddenly you realize that you must’ve said something way off the rails.

“I..” you turn red, embarrassed by the sudden outburst, “That was too much, wasn’t it?”

You look at him directly in the eye, the worry-filled ones are now replaced with a softer gaze. God, he really needed to stop looking at you like a kid. It would only make this set-up more awkward!

“No,” he mumbles, “It...It wasn't too much…”

“Oh.” you cleared your throat, flustered and looking away from his face, “Well, okay then goodbye then Nanami-sa-”

You needed to get out of this conversation quick.

“Kento.”

Your gaze snaps directly towards him, clearly taken aback by the correction.

“What?”

“We’re technically married now, right?” he softly corrected, “Call me Kento.”

“Oh,” You uttered again, this time softly. You looked down on your shoes, it seemed like the floor looked really interesting now, “Then bye-bye, Kento.”

“Bye Y/N.”

He leaves you standing there, cursing yourself because of your erratic heartbeat at the way he says your name in that voice. First name basis? okay, totally normal for sort-of lovers, right?

taglist [if crossed out, i can’t tag u ; - ;]

; @coldbookworm  ; @frankenstein852  ;  @neavil  ; @shephard17895  @kristineyoshaii ; @airybnb ; @okachansenpai ; @amortentiaxo ; @rinvtaro ; @franko-pop ; @kozutenshi ; @kaldoesthings ; @moonlitdabi ; @chococroissant ; @bleepop ; @kaldoesthings ; @moonlitdabi ; @chococroissant ; @pettybroccoli ; @nixxona ; @kiyoo-omi ; @omibaby ; @bokkunto ; @peccobagnaia​ ; @sangwoahbigbussy​ ; 

@Kurok1717 ;  @hcn421 ;  @shinhiromi ;  @airybnb ; @katshuya ; ​@atsuhaya

[abbynx]

Being Sorlato’s child + Being babysat by La squadra

A/N: Soooo, this is a direct sequel from the one-shot “Encounter” if you haven’t read it yet, feel free to browse it here 

Genre: Fluff, platonic, wholesome headcanons

- After the encounter, the couple found themselves thinking about it all the time, how different they acted to a child at the face of danger, and how afraid they were and how quick they were to act upon instinct and save you. There was certainly something the couple felt in their chest they can’t fathom but somehow liked the pleasant feeling. 

- One time Sorbet was found lounging around the La Squadra headquarters with a pamphlet regarding parenting whilst waiting for the meeting. When asked why he was reading that he nonchalantly replies that the thing was lying around and decided to read it because, “Why not?” One knows not to question him any further, so they let him be. 

- Gelato was found longingly staring at parents with their kids on the playground whilst on a mission and again, no one dared to speak a word of it. He didn’t leave even if the mission was over, until Sorbet was called in and had to physically drag him away. 

- They both knew it was getting out of hand because all they can think of now was wanting to raise a child of their own but they knew their circumstance were the least ideal to put a child in. For crying out loud, they kill people for a living and they didn’t really want to subject a child into this mess of their’s. 

- “God, is this what baby fever feels like?” 

- The couple has discussed about this, over and over than they can recall. When Gelato would suddenly mention, “You know, if we were to have a son I think that you can teach him how to ride a bike. That’d be sweet to watch to be honest.” or Sorbet saying, “If we were to have a daughter, I get to threaten her boyfriend to bring her back home before dinner.” 

- Once again, they were out to go on their once a week date all to their selves and decided to go to the same restaurant they had to stop in to save the child. And on their way their, what are the odds, the aforementioned child coming up to them and greeting them. 

“Ciao signore Sorbet! Signore Gelato!” 

W-was this a sign??? 

 "Ahh, Y/N!" Gelato was practically enthusiastic, he can just pick you up, but of course, he has to bind himself down. 

 "Out in the middle of the night again, I see." Sorbet points out. 

 "Aheh, yes sir..." You sheepishly responded. "But I really have to do everything if I want to graduate elementary with high marks." 

 - After a brief chat, weather, school and whatnot, once again you went on with your merry little way. After that, it was back for longing and yearning for the couple. 

 - The rest of La Squadra noticed this, but didn't knew how to help; until Melone picked up on the signs the couple were exuding: Sorbet reading the parenting pamphlet, Gelato longingly gazing towards parents bonding with their children, the two of them talking away about 'If we were to have a child...'— why, Melone's diagnosis: Baby fever. 

 - Melone somehow came up with an elaborate scheme involving an orphanage, did a couple of research. Due to some... Fortunate moment, somehow, someway, the figure running the same orphanage you resided in has made quite the list of enemies all his years. 

 "Melone you know that you can just tell them it's okay for them to adopt the child, right???" Risotto looks up from the detailed, complex document sent in by Babyface's user. 

 - Yes, it was stupidly complicated and a lot of work compared to just simply signing papers and adopting the child. The paperwork would be, again, stupidly complicated, but at least it doesn't involve bloodshed. It's not like the couple shied away from shedding blood but that wasn't the point. 

 - Capo Risotto had to consider their circumstances to adopt a child. Like I said, the dilemma was killing them and simply can't act out of selfishness and adopt a child just because they wanted to, it wasn't the same as a adopting a pet.

 - Cue the four hour meeting with the couple, discussing about what they can do and what they cannot do. Risotto was most certainly happy for the two of them to be adopting a child of their own, taking care of them and along of those lines but again, the fact they are a part of a crime syndicate and there were a lot of things they discussed about. 

 - After that, everything was settled and got started with the process of adopting the child. They didn't have to chose, they already had their eyes set on a specific kid; Y/N L/N, age eleven, abandoned by their parents when they were born, who adores reading and loves (insert food) and— what? They've done their research!

 - The couple was just beyond elated!

 - Through the process of adopting you they learned you were six 

 - Now that fact was uncovered, they were now more concerned and pissed why the orphanage would neglect a first grader and let them return from school at eight in the evening. And the fact that they met you under the circumstance of danger, pretending to be the couple's kid in desperation. 

 - Needless to say, a lot of things are going to change in your life, especially at the aspect of your security. They are a part of those people you should fear at night, admittedly gelato has almost pulled a gun on you that fateful night out of sheer jealousy, and didn't even register the fact you were barely half Sorbet's height.

 - First and foremost, you won't be staying in school longer than six thirty, as the couple takes turn on picking you up. They understand and adore the fact you're a hardworking kid thriving to have a scholarship in college despite being a literal first grader, but being a little kid walking alone in the middle of an evening is frightfully concerning. And in those times wherein either sorbet or Gelato picks you up, they'd buy you treats you want but not enough to spoil your appetite for dinner. 

- You did not hesitate to address them the way you addressed them that one fateful night when they tucked you in your new room for the very first time.. Gelato cried after that and Sorbet had to hold him to his chest to clam him down. Ugh, you were so effortless at making the two of them so soft. 

 - They're underpaid, not broke, so the couple spoils you in an overwhelming rate, the entirety of La Squadra were beginning to get concerned. Proscuitto scolded the two that they might spoil you rotten, but they reassured them you weren't. 

 - Speaking of La Squadra, the couple considered them as their family. Sorbet and Gelato did not hesitate to introduce you to them not as La Squadra, but as your uncles.

 - All of them were touched that Sorbet and Gelato want them to be a part of their child's life, that one of them would often volunteer to watch over you if the two were away. The couple were not going to introduce you to them as assassins and took advantage of your gullible nature as a young child. they don't intend to hide it as a secret from you. Perhaps someday they'll tell you their line of career, but six was not the right age to do so. 

 - Which brings us to their circumstances, the fact that they're assassins and how it is not an ideal career for people who has an attachment outside of their jobs. They were extremely careful in terms of that, wanting to protect and prevent others from using you against the couple. Well, now there's now a fate worse than death if ever that happens. 

 - With new responsibilities, Risotto understood them and gave them less jobs in order to take care and watch over you. But there were times where the two were both absent, prompting one of La Squadra to babysit you.

- Melone, Formaggio and Proscuitto are top picks for babysitting duties! but, of course, there are disadvantages. Melone is... Melone. Formaggio can and will act as a kid rather than an adult. And Proscuitto, well, he can be a bit too domineering. So yes, they are A-tier babysitters, nonetheless. 

 - B-tier babysitters would be Illuso, Pesci, and Ghiaccio. Illuso can be a bit too dismissive, Pesci will be too anxious and overprotective-- like in an extreme rate, and Ghiaccio... Hide your copy of Merchant of Venice, and you'll live another day. 

 - S-tier would be Risotto, except the fact that he is always busy. He is good with kids and he can guarantee their safety, I mean, need I say more?

 - Under no circumstances, are they allowed to swear around you. The couple already had restricted their foul language around you, and they expect the others to do so as well. Ghiaccio is highkey sweating when you started saying bullshit whenever you're frustrated. He profusely begged you not to day that again in exchange for ice cream. 

“Bullshit!” Ghiaccio’s heart skipped a beat after hearing your small voice whisper-shout on the dinner table as you attempted to solve a rather difficult math problem. 

 - Your relationship with them was well. They were protective of you, love you and support you. They're very affectionate, but not in an overwhelming amount... Well, at least they try to hold back but all they want to do is to spend time with their baby and love them unconditionally, as they should. 

 - Padre Gelato is more of a fun dad, very playful and energetic. He likes lifting you up to his hip before gently nuzzling his nose against yours. Dad jokes subconsciously slips from his mouth, be careful. He does a lot of cool tricks with his butterfly knife, twirling the sharp blade around while you stare in awe, whilst Papa Sorbet was more concerned that he'll accidentally cut himself, or that you might try the trick unsupervised. Needless to say, Padre was responsible enough to keep his knife in his pocket at all times to prevent that. 

“When will you teach me how to do that, Papa?” 

“When your old enough, N/N.” 

 - Papa Sorbet is a bit more reserved, but certainly not distant. He will not hesitate to kill someone who tries to hurt you. So he's the perfect person to serve as your teacher, as he helps you with school work and help you learn other practical things: cooking, baking, doing laundry by hand (which product is more effective to get blood off clothes), self-defense, etc. 

“So if there’s a stranger following you, what do you do?”

“Cling to the nearest person I see and pretend that I know them?”

 - They both tuck you into bed after reading you a bed time story, though it only lasted until you were nine because you insisted you were already grown up (cue, Gelato hiding his face on Sorbet's chest because his baby is all grown up--), but some things don't change because by bed time, they just check up on you even if they won't tuck you in to sleep.

 - Extremely supportive and encouraging. Like, they're basically the gasoline you pour on fire to intensify the fire of your passion. Like, they'll cheer you on sport games and competitions, tries their best to attend recitals, etc, etc. Though sometimes one is missing due to missions, sometimes both, but in the end of the day, you were confident that they would have loved it. 

 - Unbeknownst to you, at the end of the competition, a certain figure will come behind you and lock you on a headlock before harshly rubbing their knuckle atop your head. Uncle Formaggio can be a mean sometimes. So yes, if ever the couple is absent from your competitions, one of your uncles would volunteer to go. 

“‘Sup, little sport?” 

“Uncle Formaggio, my hair--!”

 - The first time you celebrated your birthday with your new parents was your seventh. They wanted to throw a goshdarn ball, but you insisted to keep the party amongst yourself. Just you, your papa and padre, and your  seven weird uncles. You were already a big family, and you were happy with that.

[erectionsandtea]

Skipping class/playing hooky headcanons!

Ships:

Lumax - these cuties skip class to go make out under the bleachers (idk why I see them doing that, I just do). that is, until they remember today is the day something special is happening, something they wouldn’t be able to do unless they skip class. (ex. special one-time screening of a movie, add a second scoop free of charge at the ice cream parlor, a parade or festival or something that takes up the whole block)

Byler - a while back, our boys found a secret room somewhere in the school, and they skip a boring/terrible class to go to this room that they have declared officially their own (if Mr. Clarke didn’t disapprove of cutting, he would just lend them a room) and just hang out. Mike would write and Will would draw pictures to go along with the writings bc they are totally going to release a comic book one day (based on their DnD adventures)

Elmax - they arrive at school, only to hang back behind everybody else, walking really slow, and when the halls are deserted, they turn around and go back out (because it’s more exciting when you have to sneak around). El is like “why do we ditch?” and Max is like “because we can, duh.” and then they just go wherever and do whatever they want, real spontaneous. excessive amounts of hand-holding and/or linked arms (just a lot of touching, okay)

Duzie - they just skip school altogether to literally go exploring in the woods (bc Hawkins is somehow surrounded by woods apparently). they find a cool lizard and Dustin totally wants to catch it, but he doesn’t have a free container, so they have to empty one of their food containers. then they go to the library to find books about lizards and do research on what to feed it and how to keep it content until they can show it to Mr. Clarke (they will release the lizard after)

Mileven - they wait until it’s the time that all the adults will be at work, and then they bike back home (her on the back, just like they used to). the house is empty so they get free rein to do whatever they want. this includes, but is not limited to: watching movies/tv, embarrassing karaoke, and not-always successful cooking experiments (at least one with waffles). they need to go to the store though to buy more chocolate bc they don’t have enough and El loves chocolate. they end up buying too much stuff, seriously like Mike’s whole allowance is gone lol. also just lying together, cuddling, occasionally talking about something, but mostly just enjoying the moment.

Friendships:

Will/El - they totally play hooky to sneak into a movie. something pg-13, or R if they’re feeling especially daring. if Steve and Robin still worked at the movie theater, he’d disapprove like the good mother he is, but she would let them in the back way AND sneak them free movie snacks (bc you know Robin totally did things like this when she was in school)

Mike/Max - they do something “rebellious”. not actually rebellious, but like Max heard about Mike graffitiing the bathroom stall that one time, and is like “so rebellious.” and Mike is like “like you’ve ever done anything that badass.” and she’s like “watch me, bitch.” and so they end up...idk, loitering or something. going to a store and taking literally every free sample. maybe sneaking into some “off limits” room in the school. you know. rebels.

Max/Dustin - arcade, obvsly. constantly competing. every time one of them gets a high score, the other will race over and immediately try to top it. at the end of the day, there are no arcade games left with anyone other than her or him in the ‘top players/high scores’ list.

BONUS:

Dustin takes the whole party to some abandoned place that he swears is haunted (that’s what he heard, anyway). hear me out, Dustin is smart, yes, but I totally don’t peg him as a skeptic, that’s Lucas. it’s like-

“who even told you this place is haunted?”

“jeremy, from math class”

“you’re dragging us all to this potentially dangerous place on jeremy’s word??”

“I’m telling you, he totally saw something”

“he totally didnt’! because ghosts. don’t. exist.”

“look, I’m not saying for sure that they exist, but you have to admit there’s some weird shit that can’t be explained”

“that doesn’t mean it’s a ghost!”

meawhile, Max just leans over to Will and is like “this is still better than school” and Will is like “yeah” and then “hey, are we going or what?”

(I’ll put the rest of this in its own post :) )

~

send any ideas or requests to  my askbox, or feel free to add your own on this post! let me know if you want to be tagged in the headcanons.

[alex-just-vibing]

I posted 958 times in 2022

That's 939 more posts than 2021!

174 posts created (18%)

784 posts reblogged (82%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@milly-the-devil

@insaneillusionist

@autismdino

@stargazing-bee

@astralix13

I tagged 659 of my posts in 2022

Only 31% of my posts had no tags

#reblog - 446 posts

#my stuff - 113 posts

#important - 31 posts

#cookie run - 31 posts

#crk - 30 posts

#save - 29 posts

#cookie run kingdom - 20 posts

#cookie odyssey plot tag - 18 posts

#toh - 13 posts

#the owl house - 11 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#so it depends on if you're asking one of my close friends or people who only know me on here or if you're asking my classmates or my family

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Cookies of Darkness Incorrect Quotes Because No One Can Stop Me

Licorice: Though I admit I don’t know much about you, I am feeling pretty confident in my assessment that you are probably some sort of sick deadly fuck. Red Velvet: Who told you my secret?

Dark Choco: What happened to Licorice? Red Velvet: He died. Dark Choco: They what? Red Velvet: They died, but he's okay. Dark Choco: …Can you please clarify? Licorice: Clarification is for the weak.

Dark Choco, texting group chat: What flavour of ice cream do you guys want? I’m at the store so be quick! Licorice: Moose Tracks is good! Strawberry Crepe: What the fuck is that!? Licorice: *Gasp* How dare you insult moo- Strawberry Crepe: No. No no not that. What the hell. Why do you spell flavor like flavour. It’s like you have flavor but then this guy shows up and is like “Oui Oui Would you like chocolate flaVOUR or vanilla flaVOUR. Dark Choco and Licorice: what? Strawberry Crepe: I don’t get it why add the EXTRA u when it’s PERFECTLY FINE AS IT IS!? Dark Choco: You done now? Strawberry Crepe: Yeah ok. Dark Choco and Licorice: ... Strawberry Crepe: ...Can I have the Mint Chocolate chip flavour?

Pomegranate, talking to Dark Choco: If looking good was a crime, you’d be a law abiding citizen.

Licorice, washing the dishes: Who the fuck used this pan?? Licorice: Wait. I the fuck used this pan… Red Velvet: It was you the fuck. Licorice: It was I the fuck… Strawberry Crepe: Who cooks rice in a pan? Red Velvet: They the fuck.

Poison Mushroom: Do dragons fart fire? Licorice: I don't know. Poison Mushroom: I thought you went to college.

Licorice: The risk I took was calculated but, man, am I bad at math.

70 notes - Posted October 14, 2022

#4

Hunter: What’s the straightest thing you’ve ever done? Darius: *sighs* Darius: I killed a man.

91 notes - Posted May 27, 2022

#3

Fuck you I'm gonna make sdr2 survivor incorrect quotes and none of you can stop me (spoiler warning for who survives)

Hajime: Don’t stay up all night, Akane. Last time you got this sleep-deprived, you tried to eat your own shirt.

Akane: When you work at lush and a customer comes in and bites the soap because they think it’s cheese... this happens way more frequently than you think. Kazuichi: If you stopped literally presenting soap as deli food this wouldn't happen. Akane: Who goes into a bath store and thinks something covered in glitter is cheese? Hajime: Who goes to the store and just takes a bite from the cheese?

Hajime: I just want someone to take me out. Kazuichi: On a date? Sonia: With a sniper gun? Fuyuhiko: Both if you're not a coward.

Fuyuhiko, holding a rock: Kazuichi just gave this to me and said "I feel like you deserve the moon but all I can give you is a rock". Hajime: If you don't marry them, I will.

Hajime: What do you do when someone offers you drugs? Kazuichi: Take them! Akane: Punch them in the neck! Sonia: Say thank you! Fuyuhiko: Offer them more drugs to assert dominance! Hajime: … Hajime: No.

Hajime: I’m telling you, my team is competent. Sonia, rushing in: Hajime! Kazuichi tried to make pasta in the coffee pot and now it's broken!

Akane: As someone who has a long history of not understanding anything, I feel confident in my ability to continue not knowing what is going on.

Akane: If you spell skeletons backwards, it still spells skeletons. Hajime, deadpan: Wow, I can't wait for Halloween to see some snoteleks.

Kazuichi: If I run and leap at Hajime, he will most certainly catch me in his arms. Kazuichi, running towards Hajime: Coming in! Hajime: No! I’m holding coffee! Hajime: *Drops coffee and catches Kazuichi*

Fuyuhiko, at the slightest provocation: I came into this earth screaming and covered in someone else's blood and and I'm not afraid to leave the same way.

Akane: If you put a milkshake in one yard and crack open a cold one in another yard, which yard would the boys go to? Kazuichi: Schrödinger's boys. Hajime: FUCK! Sonia: What about cracking open a cold milkshake? Fuyuhiko: As we all know, the milkshake brings the boys to the yard. The presence of the boys is a prerequisite for the cracking open of a cold one, but cold ones do not have any inherent boy-attracting abilities. Milkshakes, however, do. Fuyuhiko: All else being equal, the boys would proceed to the milkshake yard. While it is possible to announce the presence of cold ones in the hope of attracting some boys, the pull of the milkshake is much more powerful by comparison. Akane: ... Kazuichi: ... Hajime: ... Sonia: ... Fuyuhiko: Mind you, all of this nonsense hinges on whether or not the boys are back in town.

Kazuichi: BWWAAAAAAAAAA! Oh, you hear that? That's the wrong opinion alarm. Fuyuhiko: That is not something you actually have installed. Kazuichi: Sorry, say again? I couldn't hear you over my alarm that YOU SET OFF with your WRONG-ASS OPINION

Hajime: Two brooooos! Kazuichi: Chillin' in a hot tub! Hajime: Five feet apart 'cause we're not gay! Kazuichi: Hajime: Kazuichi: *tearing up* Hajime: Babe, c'mon... Kazuichi: AND HERE YOU REALLY HAD ME THINKING WE HAD SOMETHING. Hajime: Babe...

Kazuichi, Entering Fuyuhiko's room: Akane did it again. Fuyuhiko: Peace disturbance? Kazuichi: What no- Fuyuhiko: Arson..? Kazuichi: NO, JESUS CHRIST, HOW MANY- Fuyuhiko: uh....Attempted murder? Kazuichi: NO, SHE ATE ALL THE FOOD IN THE FRIDGE, BUT WHAT THE FU-

Kazuichi: Hey random, what are your favorite flowers? Hajime: Peonies, why? Kazuichi: Hajime: Were you going to get me flowers? Kazuichi: Hajime: Kazuichi: ᶦᵗ’ˢ ᵃ ᵖᵒˢˢᶦᵇᶦˡᶦᵗʸ

Hajime: Bottling up negative emotions is bad for your health, so you shouldn't do it. Fuyuhiko: I know, that's why I bottle up all my emotions, both positive and negative, so it cancels out. Hajime: Th-that's not how that works-

Akane, setting down a card: Ace of spades. Fuyuhiko, pulling out an Uno card: +4. Hajime, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you! Kazuichi, trembling: What are we playing?!

Akane: Would you like something to drink? *She opens the fridge* We have water, milk, juice, spiders, Dr. Pepper- Kazuichi: Spiders? Akane: Spiders it is then. Kazuichi: No, that wasn’t- *But she were already pouring them a brimming glass of spiders…*

Hajime: I swear to god I'm the only one here with a braincell. Sonia, Kazuichi, Fuyuhiko, and Akane: ALL HAIL the keeper of the sacred braincell!

Akane, knocking on the door: Kazuichi, open up! Kazuichi: It all started when I was a kid. Akane: That’s not what I- Fuyuhiko: Let him finish!

Sonia: Fuyuhiko doesn’t look very happy. Hajime: That's his happy. He's just a bitch.

Hajime: BEHOLD, the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!

Akane: How is the most beautiful person in the world? Sonia: *blushing* I— Hajime, butting into the conversation: Kaz is perfect, thanks for asking.

Fuyuhiko, grinning: I have a knife! Sonia: Put it down, Fuyuhiko. Fuyuhiko: Make me! *sprints away*

Kazuichi: Are you an F5 key? Because that ass is refreashing. Hajime: Are you a software update? because not right now.

Kazuichi: It's pretty cold outside.. wanna hold hands? We should stay close. Hajime, blushing: Okay. Fuyuhiko: It's fucking summer.

Akane: *sees Kazuichi and Fuyuhiko together* Akane: They're cute. I would put them on a boat. Hajime: You mean... you ship them?

Hajime: *speaking Spanish* Kazuichi: I know, I know. Fuyuhiko: You speak Spanish? Kazuichi: No. I just know the phrase, 'this is all your fault' in every language Hajime speaks.

Kazuichi: Look, I know you think my judgement's clouded because I like Hajime a little bit. Fuyuhiko, holding Kazuichi's notepad: You doodled your wedding invitation. Kazuichi: No, that's our joint tombstone. Fuyuhiko: My mistake.

See the full post

123 notes - Posted May 10, 2022

#2

Reblog if you wanna throw Belos into a fire.

307 notes - Posted April 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Emperor's Coven Incorrect Quotes

Eberwolf: Get in, loser, we’re committing vehicular manslaughter!

Hunter, texting Raine: *Sends a voice message* Raine, texting back: I’m a little busy, is it urgent? Hunter: No, don’t worry, just listen later. *Later* Raine: *Presses play* Hunter's voice message: THERE’S A FIRE-

Kikimora: What's wrong with you? Hunter: Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.

Kikimora: The Titan has let me live another day and I'm going to make it everyone's problem.

Hunter: Was the moon landing fake? Eberwolf, joking: You believe in the moon? Darius: The moon is made of cheese! Raine: I will catapult you three into the sun.

Eberwolf, grinning: I have a knife! Darius: Put it down, Eberwolf. Eberwolf: Make me! *Sprints away*

Eberwolf: Can you be quiet?! I'm trying to think. Raine: Don't worry. Doing anything for the first time is difficult.

Hunter: What’s your favorite color? Darius: Stop asking stupid questions. Ask me something logical and mature. Hunter: How many moles of sodium bicarbonate are needed to neutralize 0.8ml of sulfuric acid at STP? Darius: My favorite color is purple.

Raine, entering Darius's room: Hunter did it again. Darius: Peace disturbance? Raine: What no- Darius: Arson..? Raine: NO, JESUS CHRIST, HOW MANY- Darius: uh....Attempted murder? Raine: NO, THEY ATE ALL THE FOOD IN THE FRIDGE. WHAT THE FU-

Eberwolf: I know we don't always see eye to eye on things- Darius: That's because you're too short.

Darius: Real life should have a fucking search function, or something. Darius: I need my socks.

Raine: Please, I'm begging you, go to a healer. Hunter: I'm sorry is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.

Hunter: Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle, and explode into bats to get out of all social situations

Raine: Stop setting things on fire because you're curious about what will happen. What will happen is fire. Eberwolf: But what if something else happens just this one time?

Hunter: *On the phone* Hey Raine, do you know my blood type? Raine: Of course, it's B-. Hunter: Oh, I guessed wrong. Excuse me, healer-!

Eberwolf: WHY?! Why did you give Hunter a KNIFE?! Darius: I’m sorry. They said they felt unsafe. Eberwolf: Now I feel unsafe! Darius: I’m sorry. Darius: …Would you like a knife?

Raine: Can you melt mercury? Hunter: Well- Darius: The planet, or the element? Hunter: Hunter: WHY THE HECK WOULD THEY WANT TO MELT THE PLANET?

Raine: "Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge" - Charles Darwin Eberwolf: What the fuck? Begets isn't a word. Quit trying to make up words, fuckface.

Eberwolf: Christmas is cancelled. Darius: You can't cancel a holiday. Hunter: Keep it up, Darius, and you'll lose New Year's too. Darius: What does that mean? Eberwolf: Raine, take New Year's away from Darius.

Hunter: ARE YOU- Eberwolf: Fucking Hunter: KIDDING ME THIS IS- Eberwolf: Bullshit. Darius: What’s going on? Eberwolf: Raine took away Hunter’s swearing privileges so I’m helping them out.

Hunter, setting down a card: Ace of spades. Darius, pulling out an Uno card: +4. Eberwolf, pulling out a Pokémon card: Jolteon, I choose you. Raine, trembling: What are we playing?

Raine: I am going to need you to swear- Eberwolf: Fuck. Raine: Raine: ...swear as in promise.

354 notes - Posted April 6, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[unfinshedsentec]

For the match up thing: (congrats btw!)

Pronouns: he/him

Preferred gender to be with: male (romantic)

MBTI -> INFP (4w5 enneagram)

Hobbies: writing, reading, drawing, collecting mugs and lighters

Personality: stubborn, passionate (very very passionate -> I can and will go on rants about things I like and will not stop unless someone tells me to or I can sense they don’t care), emotional, sensitive (I cry easily lol), nervous and quiet around new people/situations but become loud and happy when comfortable, funny, witty, things have to go the way I expect them to and when they don’t I tend to breakdown, tries to look on the bright side but gets discouraged easily (try to be glass is half full but I’m more of a glass half empty… trying to change that lol), gets worried easily, abandonment issues -> leads to me being clingy, scared whoever I like will leave me, and that I’m not good enough, competitive, sore loser, always has to be right, holds grudges for a long time, considerate, kind, caring

Likes: rock music, fantasy books, documentaries, anime, manga, musicals/plays, board games (super competitive tho), singing (not good lol), stargazing, hanging out with family/friends in a relaxed setting, amusement parks, the arcade, bowling, going to the movies, going for drives (my favourite tbh), baking, cleaning when no one is home, dogs

Dislikes: sour food, obnoxiously loud people, childish people (<-all of the time, it’s okay once in a while), someone who’s oblivious and can’t take a hint, rap music, self centred people, math, cooking

Looking for: mature, respectful, responsible, kind, caring, protective, more of a leader type, reliable, strong, funny/witty, able to take care of me (lol)

Hey love! Thank you so much for being a part of this! AND I FOUND SOMEONE ELSE WITH SAME MBTI AHHHHH (and I hate math too, I'm a writer for reason lol)

Anyways, for you, I'm gonna have to go with Draken! (I swear Draken's perfect boyfriend😂)

Draken, obviously, is one of the most respectful, kind, mature people in Tokyo Rev. He's Tomans mom for a reason! He'd be the type to respect you no matter what. Whatever descions you make, he respects and supports with his soul.

He also, like you said, would totally be able to take care of you. He's got the skills of a mom soooo he can pretty much do anything. You want some food? He'll cook something. You need help? He's right there helping. You need something cleaned? He's cleaning it. Of course, if you just want someone to listen to you, he'll listen to you for hours.

If anything, he loves listening to you. Every rant you go on, he'll quietly listen and smile while you happily go on. If you just need to talk to someone about something, he'll throw everything out the window to listen to you. He just really loves you, and he WILL do anything for you.

He'll comfort you through everything too! Any time you cry, he'll be there giving you hugs making sure you're okay. He'll tell you how much he loves you and will stay with you for however long you need. He's also the type to cheer you up, and helps you see the glass half full even more! If someone dares to hurt you, or make you cry, Draken's gonna beat the shit out of them.

Seriously, he won't hold back.

Overall, I really feel like you and Draken would fit so well! You guys would love each other so much and you'd be each other's cheerleader. It'd be so sweet!