#how can i get some good drugs | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

fascinationstreetmp3 · 5 months ago

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I have what you're looking for. High quality. Befitting a man of my tastes. I have a room over on Divisadero, not too far a walk.

#iwtv #interview with the vampire #iwtv amc #daniel molloy #louis de pointe du lac #danlou #iwtvedit #tvedit #dailyflicks #*#dont know if i can articulate my thoughts well #but something about how daniel at first is so closed off from louis when he sits down near him #doesnt really want to talk at first but starts opening up pretty quickly #then louis is buying him a drink and it's easier to talk. mostly what he wants to talk about is his journalism work #because its so important to him. but when louis starts getting too personal (i know what you're here for danny) he starts backing off again #maybe some combo of shame for how quickly he felt attracted to louis and the flirting and the diminutive louis uses #the bartender uses it when asking if hes got money tonight. hes used to exchanging sex for things he needs but cant afford #above all it's like a sharp reminder of what louis wants & what daniel wants too even before the offer of drugs #and he's trying to hold onto the denial and excuses. it was a good place to score he did what he had to #sex with men has to be in exchange for something he can't just want it on its own #the lie he tells himself about himself #also these tags are getting long but i think you can see the moment louis decides he might not just fuck and kill this guy right away lmao

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syntheticpaperd0ll · 11 months ago

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im feeling it tonight so this one goes out to all my girlies (gender neutral) with addictions. recovering from addictions. who don't want to recover from addictions. who are relapsing or have relapsed. who have moved from one addiction to the next. who cant recover from addictions. this one is for people with addictions other than drugs. shopping. sex. internet. food. self harm. all the weirdest and worst addictions that people may or may not consider normal. for all of you also trying to live in a world where addictions are so demonized, i see you. i love you.

#tw addiction #tw sh related #tw relaspe #mental health #addiction #s/h #cant tell anyone im addicted to cvtting without some asshole reaction srsly #i cant help it. i kinda dont want to help it. but its the truth and you need to accept that even if youre not happy about it #im notna drug addict but even so its the same story with overdosing #“stop it” and ??? how ??? why ??? when?? it feels good so why should i stop??#at least give me a valid reason damn it #and every time since the first the guy who just tells me to stoo gets this weird pitiful expression and i hate it #use your energy on someone who can help and/or who is more likely to benefit from these things #use your energy on someone who wants ti quit not stay bad/get worse #i get that youre worried but i am not the person who is going to value your worry over my own overwhelming urges

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howdidthisevenhappenanyway · 2 years ago

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*taps microphone* so i’d just like to talk about all the little kids in coruscant who would absolutely be out of their mind with love and awe for the corrie guard, and their fire engine red painted armour

these kids

these kids would wait at their windows to watch them drive past their window on a scheduled patrol. they’d be so thrilled to see them in the market. or when Fox is standing next to Palpatine in the press in his extra red paint

their parent will be like ‘want to talk to them?’ and the kids will get all shy.

they might even draw pictures of them to give to them

because no matter what the adults think, abiut flesh droids or military police being given more and more responsibility (that theybwould see as power) as the war went on, but little kids know what’s up. they know how cool garbage men are, and fire men (with the shiny red paint), and other civil servants that adults don’t think are awesome but kids know

and you know, you just know that Sergeant Hound, with his cute mastiff and awesome bucket paint would be the absolute pinnacle of coolness to an eight year old coruscanti child

#I forgot to take my pain meds today and then did things so I’n stuck in bed in agony but I thot I’d write out the cute headcanon #that I’ve been thinking about for a while #how the adults would listen to the propoganda that makes civil unrest more likely #because palps wanted turmoil at home to make the senators nervous so they gave him more power #he would absolutely use the guard like a sledgehammer #adults would also know why the corries have mastifs and riot gear and why there were shock troopers posted on a republic planet #and about the raids that keep happening to innocent people #and all of the money and drugs and material goods and wven food and water that were being confiscated for the most flimsy of reasons #and the people who were being arrested never to be seen again #but the kids #would think they were so cool and act like they were celebrities #ok good meeting #I’m writing a winged clone fic and so you can imagine how much this is turned up to eleven when the corries have WINGS and can FLY #some kids would obviously think cody or rex or any of the other clones that ended up in propoganda next to obi-wan and anakin etc were #the best but they would get into arguments with the kids who were all about the corries #some autistic kid thinking hound is the height of clone existsnce #some other autistic kid thinking the logistics offocers were awesome #I just like thinking about it #coruscant guard #corrie shenanigans #corrie guard #commander fox #commander thorn #commander thire #commander stone #sergeant hound #clone trooper hound #star wars headcanons #fluff

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smilesrobotlover · 9 months ago

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Abel and Ammon are chilling at a cafe together. What do you think they’re talking about?

Give Linebeck and Rusl hugs for me <3 And Ammon, really, but I’ll let him vibe with some coffee. Or whatever he drinks to caffeinate/energize. (Abel has known about coffee his entire life because Castle Town has Gerudo beverages and he’s 100% addicted)

Hope you’re doing ok <3 <3 <3

Oh boy, they could be talking about their duties, how wonderful their wives are, how crazy their kids are, maybe even talk about how much they hate the yiga lol. There’s a lotta things!!

Rusl is affectionately crushing your ribs and Linebeck is pretending that he’s disgusted by the hug but deep down he’s a big softy <33

I don’t think Ammon has ever had anything like coffee so….. this is a first time for everything!

#Ammon careful don’t get addicted #and yeah I’m doing fine! just on vacation and vibin!!#havin to do homework but oh well #sad cuz writing doesn’t sound good and tho I haven’t drawn in a hot second. drawing ain’t good either #but idk #do you wanna read some of the stuff I’ve written? :0 #I don’t have a lot finished #you can read Leon being drugged out of his mind #or Sarah getting Ammon to sleep #or ammon dealing with the survivors guilt after Georgie died #but I’m not proud of how that one turned out so I’m stuck lol #asks

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crossbackpoke-check · 2 months ago

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Sat politely ankles crossed hands folded please say you have more thoughts about the DC deweys. Lazarus pit cold-eyed stare pristine and bloodthirsty anyway I would love to hear any further thoughts if you have the time + energy + motivation

how i imagine you waiting for me to re-read the resurrection of ra’s al-ghul and hush vol. 1+2:

ALRIGHT. in no particular order, thoughts about the dc deweys

connor fits very well into the mold of a talia al-ghul for me; chip on his shoulder, femme fatale, deadly and precise. he’s not the loudest but he’s got a dry wit that’ll cut you!

“why is connor an al-ghul at all and not batman” well first of all he’s already got the water connection, i’m gonna go dip him into the lake a couple hours north of the pas to make him incredibly long-lived, rejuvenated and beautiful

second of all i want him to be a questionable villain/antihero because he looks evil in those pictures but like beautiful evil. you see him at a multi-million dollar soirée and he’s bored of being there wearing his “heritage” beads and jewels he originally had from a thousand years ago. he and his assassins are only here to murder the head of state who’s planning to lay a pipeline through ancestral grounds

rip brandon duhaime i simply cannot imagine you as any kind of batman. lacks the gravitas, too much of a yapper, loves his wife too much. i curse thee to be green arrow if you’re in this narrative at all

assuming connor stays with toronto, would LOVE to think about toronto as one of the sites of the lazarus pit for many reasons

(a brief aside here to say that for me personally this is interesting if connor goes to winnipeg because i think they suit him better, he’s a manitoba boy, but re: the chip on his shoulder, he’s NOT a manitoba boy. he’s from the pas and very proud of it)

a) the amount of ‘toronto is the center of the universe’ hockey creation myths i can play with & birth/rebirth/reincarnation. if you WANT to feel unhinged trying to blend hockey and comics is an ice rink not just a pool of water?

b) mr. cathal kelly i love your works!!! toronto eats its young!!! thinking about this very literally in the sense of the resurrection arc where players come to toronto and are sacrificed, give up their body, their skill, in service of the demon’s head, and lose themselves.

c) we see echos of the same narratives and styles over and over again—if i can hop over to the flyers for a second, there is of course the curse of the *8s (18 richards, 28 claude, 48 danny b, 68 nolan, 88 lindros) but ALSO the danny brière -> tk -> morgan frost celly chain. every generation a resurrection, emerging clean and new from the pit

can you just briefly hold my hand and imagine wayne gretzky as an evil ra’s al-ghul wanting to possess a new body. gretzky i’m sorry to malign you and i know you never played in toronto but you are the best player in my head to fit the idea, i’m open to other suggestions

coming BACK to green arrow dewey (i did not re-watch arrow or re-read those comics sorry) connor could also be black canary, who takes a brief dip into the lazarus pit (toronto) before getting married to oliver. i do like that narrative but because we were talking about pristine and cold-blooded i figured connor dewar head of the league of assassins was more what you were after

now that i’ve gotten through world building… choose your own adventure narratives?

hockey-ish au: connor chosen as a host for the Next One. i think the lineage of the great one -> next one -> next next one -> next one up of gretzky -> crosby -> mcdavid -> bedard is taken, BUT i can imagine that the league of old boys all have the same intentions. connor gets sent to toronto unknowingly being prepped to get body-snatched by ???? and brandon duhaime of course accidentally stumbles on the plot and they have to fight to stop it

connor assassinating people :) snapshot of the head of the league of assassins delegating which major world events they’re going to change today. would love his shark face from the gifset to have blood spattered across it, ideally.

version 1 as head of the league of assassins: brandon is one of his assassins, big strong bodyguard type. devoted to him, would lay down his life, perfectly designed for connor (lady shiva/cassandra cain-ish). connor orders for something to be done and brandon does it there for him then gently wipes the blood off his face and apologizes for being careless and getting him messy.

version 2 as head of the league of assassins: an actual plot where connor aims to assassinate SOMEONE but brandon gets in the way. they meet at odds as their respective roles (hero, leader of a crime syndicate) but are magnetically drawn together as their alter egos. eventually brandon puts together the pieces of the Big Evil and manages to (legally!-ish as much as vigilante-ism can be legal) take it down and the ending panels show a tentative friendship and recognition of potential shared goals

also, jaromir jágr is immortal. don’t know if this is relevant OR related but he is. personal hot spring lazarus pit?

um. thanks for coming to my 1.5k ted talk (including tags). what a way to moritz seider lore drop that i DID grow up a comic book nerd, lmao. thank you so much for enabling me <3 i'll be here all week thinking about which teams would get what rings in a blackest night au

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mars-ipan · 4 months ago

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i miss weed

#marzi speaks #i mean technically i could get high if i really wanted #but it wouldn’t be a good idea #i don’t wanna know how it mixes with steroids #plus i have a follow up appt on monday with… an oncologist or smth? for some reason? idfk #but they’re probs gonna check my blood and maybe my urine too so. not gonna bother fucking with that #but i’ve been sober for so damn long. i was gonna get high so much this summer #but then i got Sick . instead #which. hey i learned about the wonderful new highs that iv administered drugs could give u #morphine was great. iv benadryl is pretty damn chill so long as nobody asks you a question or makes you have to try to Think #but. i simply want. to take an edible. and be high for a little bit #but alas. sobriety #i follow up with my rheum again in a couple months and then we can talk about me dropping the steroid. but ughhhhh #i wanna get highhhh i wanna experience it again. thc i miss youuuuuu #but whatever whatever whatever. i can have fun sober i’ve been doing it most of my life it’s Fine #i just. miss her. i’ve only gotten high a couple times this entire year

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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago

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#sorry i cant shut the fuck up today. i think i just feel worse on the weekends bc i kno i shoulf b relaxing #ppl r telling me to relax. take a break. let me kno how i can help. let me kno if theres a problem. bc my behavior is apparently ya kno like #visibly somethings not right. but how tf am i supposed to relax when i have so much to do #so im stuck spiraling like dont work but also think insistently abt working. but get nothing done. its horrible #mostly rn im stressed abt all the grading i havent done and the work on my masters data i havent done #but its like. something in my head is on fire and it's burning thru all my cognitive energy. i am just trying to keep existing #how tf am i supposed to find the energy to read 45 lab reports? im like illiterate #and idk i just feel bad about coming into a new lab being so sick. i just dont like being a problem #it also does not reflect well on my future career that im being such a flake on things. like sorry if i have to work on my research #assistant data rn i might die ✌️ ugh. itll b fine. i just need to find a way to effectively manage my head #and i keep hearing my dads voice in my head talking abt personal responsibility but like i dont even kno how to employ that. i could suck #it up and double down on productivity but that way leads to burnout and self destruction. do i doubke down on relaxing?#i dont kno how to do that. like u would probably just have to drug me. which is y i do not partake in substances. that way also leads #to self destruction. so what am i do to? cross my fingers and pray for a fluctuation in my general mood?#hope that aliens invade and that an incoming invasion sharpens my focus onto only one single thing?#idk. but my sister is finally working on the fish i askrd her yo draw me. so i gotta think of how i wanna get it tattooed #bc shes not an art person and its an act of indulging chaos to get an imperfect image tattooed onto me #so i might have to do some things to make it make me not insane. i asked for this bc i like causing myself problems. also i was in a #slightly altered state of mind when i asked lol but i stand by it haha. anyway. idk things r just annoying and hard rn as i knew they would #b. and im good at catching myself before things get dangerous but it sucks that i feel like a ticking time bomb of destruction. ugh.#unrelated

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daisyachain · 9 months ago

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A theme that is cropping up across things I’ve liked -> AnF, Monster (2023), Pentiment, is the social structures that drive people to irrational behaviour. Or to rephrase. We live in a society that is the ‘I consent’ ‘I consent’ ‘I don’t’ meme where there is always some third party in the room with any two people. You can’t escape the ghost of the state/the religious cult/the social structure even in the most private moments. No two people can interact without being subject to the rules of the Structures. The only way to remove that pressure is to abandon society completely and go live at the bottom of the ocean. Where the pressure is less.

Monster (2023) has three people who nearly die as the result of one person keeping a trivial secret. The way the film shows it and the audience understands it, though, the secret does feel momentous enough to one person that it doesn’t matter what the consequences are, no one can ever find out. None of the people involved can freely interact with one another because the things they do will trigger The Hammer to come down on them and the hammer cannot be reasoned with.

In Pentiment, the time pressure of the archdeacon’s arrival means that some conclusion has to be presented no matter how optimal or suboptimal. The structures of the nobility (seeking vengeance for one of their own) and the church (seeking to remove any leverage that might belong to the nobility) determine where and how the mystery must be resolved. Andreas the protagonist may not believe what he says, may not believe it’s right to say it, may not even believe canonically that anything needs to be done, but he cannot make the choice that is right for him. The people talking to him can’t tell him the truth, wharves he may think about it. All these people in the town may want the same conclusion and none of them are able to even voice it because an external force has determined that someone must die, and the best option still involves death. The townsfolk are rightfully cagey because, in the end, Andreas is only choosing a victim.

#kelsey liveblogs Pentiment #the game makes a good anti-carceral argument as well by showing just how the speed of punishment and need for punishment #prevents anyone from getting to the bottom of anything going on #maybe this post is just about reinventing Man Vs Society and thinking I came up with it. whatever #but it’s more specifically about the discussion of moonlight I heard on some chat show or another #where one says ‘this is a movie without white people in it. it’s refreshing to not have to incorporate a white character r’#*character ‘and to have black characters be able to speak and move freely’#and then the other panelist says ‘well except the prison plot point and the drug plot point wouldn’t exist without the structure of racism’#there can be no true interaction in these cases that doesn’t have coercion/incentives applied by an unseen force

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bluastro-yellow · 1 year ago

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there's only one end-of-the-day debrief :'( ?!?

#looked like a recurring event #I hope I'm getting a good grade in Kim #pointless microblogging #disco elysium #disco elysco #<- why does this tag keep coming up #what is it #some thoughts:#I'm a cop second and a disco lover first. hope those kids don't make drugs in the church after all #I'm helping them #do I need to tell the hardie boys or whatever to do their job of helping citizens?!? come on guys #you should already have helped that pigs woman #we definitely weren't trained for that lol. cops badly handling interactions with distressed mentally ill people. too realistic #thank GOD I didn't hit on that woman at the start of the game. would have made everything more awkward #but I did tell her I don't remember jack shit. whoops #I really like how there's multiple solutions for problems. probably normal for games like this but I appreciate it #I can actually become racist if I listen to Titus?? I thought I'd be faking it. I pulled out #*meathead or something. the big racist guy who guards the port #I wonder what happens if I do. Kim still would have to be my partner #does that union guy really want to help or does he want to turn the place into his playground. make the fishing village better #instead of destroying it! he's really good at sounding innocent tho

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jackass-jones · 9 months ago

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Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over

Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰

#its like okay listen i understand the basic math of any persona game they say things and everything they say is actually #very bad when you think about it for more than 3 seconds #like what theyre intending to do with the death of this character is be like oh no your sad friend dies tragically thats so saddddd #but that doesnt mean you cant live a wonderful life full of meaning you cant let grief consume you life is beautiful awagga #and i guess shinji is a specific character whos used cuz i guess its more tragic that he never realized he was worthy of life and shit #and i guess its also like ‘dont be like this guy who let grief consume him and then died you gotta Be Different’#which i dont. love. that last part cuz if you think about shinji and what led him down this road #its like. of course hes depressed! he accidentally killed a woman with a child when he was 16!#he himself is an orphan and he just made some other kid an orphan as well and it happened cuz his persona went out of control #which very much can translate to ‘this must mean im dangerous and can hurt everyone if im not kept under control’#so of course he isolated himself and believed he was evil and became suicidal like who wouldnt feel that way #like am i supposed to be mad he left sees and took drugs cuz uh while i dont think isolation or Evil Drug is good for his mental health #i dont think him continuing to fight in sees is something he can just easily do again given how he killed someone like he shouldnt have to #be a part of this thing anymore like how would he even safely get castor to not do that??? he cant kill more people on accident!#so yeah like using shinji as an example of bad coping mechanisms is already just. a big fucking oof to me like it just feels like the game #is saying he shouldve gotten over it and simply not be suicidal and stayed on the team. idk if thats the intent but uh it wouldnt faze me #cuz persona games are notoriously awful at writing characters who are traumatized and abused #but what makes everything even worse is how the game kinda like. acts like shinjis death is a stepping stone #like we’re supposed to use it as a wake up call and understand the stakes but keep going on anyways #and akihiko and Ken get. ‘great character development’ according to the game telling you they have now developed #but damn all akihiko is is just repressed he cries for 3 seconds and then is like I SHOULD MAN UP and then neglects a depressed child #shinjis dying words are words to live by now even though they piss me the fuck off like girl am i crazy HES FUCKING #HES TELLING ME NOT TO CRY OVER HIM BECAUSE HE SHOULD BE DEAD ACTUALLY AND THIS IS A GOOD THING ACTUALLY #like if the game wants us to still find meaning in life despite losing someone it just really hurts that shinji has to die for that to work #apparently. cuz the character i see myself in is shinji. not some perfect prettyboy who does everything perfectly and has 4 gfs #his death seems like a punishment for bad behavior. the bad behavior being of course depression and drug use. and im simply supposed to be #better than that if i want to live. and we dont get to form a connection with him cuz thats gayyyyy #and his death is like a NOBLE HEROIC SACRIFICE idk its just such bullshit to me i hate it so bad #how is killing a suicidal guy and then treating it as admirable that he said ‘this is how it should be’ supposed to make me feel #makes me feel sick personally and it ruins the entire game’s theme to me because its fucking shallow and the story is bad and im tired

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thebleedingeffect · 10 months ago

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#okay I'm talking in the tags of this post cause shit is happening in my life and I gotta talk about it somewhere #one part of it is my step brother crashing and burning before my very eyes and there's nothing I can do to stop his own destructive actions #so it's just me watching this poor kid ruin his relationships and blame everything and everyone around him as he does so #despite the fact that he's undeniably been treated horribly at times- he's just turned that anger back onto others and himself #and I have no idea what to feel as I watch him get arrested. have drug problems. because I'm just waiting for the inevitable spiral #it doesn't help that my mom has been comparing us and saying that I'm the much better child and she wishes he was like me #not understanding that I could’ve been him if I was just more angry at the world at that age instead of being so sad and scared #and that leads me to my fucking mom cause like- I love her. we've been through alot of bad shit with her #I've almost done some really bad shit for her and I know that she loves me more than anything else #but it feels like its been getting more and more suffocating cause I'm not sure she's able to start seeing me as an adult #and start loosening her grip around me and let me breathe. to have my own experiences without her by my side #to be able to go places and imagine a future without her constantly by my side #she talks and it's like she doesn't even think to wonder that perhaps I want to form my own experiences #and experience the world on my own terms because I feel like I've spent my whole life having so little damn control #religious family. shit and neglectful father who turned into the exact opposite and nearly killed me. family who refuses to listen and talk #having to move and run immediately. put survival above all else. go to school. get out. and god I just wanna breathe #she loves me so much and I love her too. but I feel like I'll be sooner crushed if I stick here for long enough #I'm just mad that my life has been nothing but absolutely no love. sudden waves of intense love. absolutely nothing. sudden spike #and I feel like I'm just finally starting to form good. healthy relationships on my own terms and actually make friends #because I had no idea what I was doing when I was a kid cause I was so fucking lonely and hurting #now I just. gotta figure out how to tell my mom that I can't carry this expectation that I'll continue to stay forever by her side #it just feels like I'm her child first and a person second. and it sucks. it really sucks.#ough. spins and spins and spins and spins-

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running-in-the-dark · 11 months ago

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I know I've been particularly incoherent for the past few days (again), and it's so dramatic and ridiculous but it seriously feels like something is punishing me. I just want to like things a normal amount. I just want to like people and characters a normal amount.

I don't want to become so fully obsessed that literally nothing else exists and thinking about anything else feels like my brain is being stabbed with a thousand tiny knives. I don't want to need to find every piece of information I possibly can on whoever it is this time. I don't want to feel like I'm (literally) losing my mind when I see them. I don't want any of this!

I can not believe that I exist as a human being on this stupid planet just to get obsessed with people over and over and over again forever.