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luffyvace · 1 year ago

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Tanjiro x male reader<3

Tanjiro x male reader won second place in the poll!! :) enjoy tanjiro stans<3

Starting back at the final selection let’s say that’s when you met

just to clear things up

and you two started dating some time after that

of course eventually making it official

tanjiro was quite flustered when he realized his sexuality might be different from tradition

but he wasn’t afraid to be bi/gay/pan or anything

he just thought- ..! Actually he never really thought of that type of thing..

I mean he was kinda too young

but now that your together!

he has time to figure it all out :)

tanjiro is such a sweet lover!

and helpful!

and caring!

(Really he’s a ball of love)

if you feel tired he carries you

(Even if your both beat up after a mission)

if you need water he’ll spare you some of his or go fetch some

And he’s always down to spar at any type of day!

I will say he’s not thinking about you in that way when you take your shirt off

but when you do he definitely admires you!

you might have abs seeing as though the demon slayer corps has………...harsh (brutal) training 😅

if you do then he sees it as a result of your hard work!

same with scars!

especially with scars<3

he can 100% relate and you two share stories about each one

if you have any—you probably trauma bond

you guys just end up talking all night long about your past, everything that happened, your pain, whether you want revenge or not and so on!

It strengthens your trust and relationship with each other

btw if anyone asks why your together as two males or how you know you actually like men..

tanjiro will humbly and politely educate (lecture) them on how important you are to each other, how you met, why/when you started dating and even if they don’t like it, it’s simple to walk away instead of disrespecting your relationship!

I hope y’all don’t run into uzui..

(y’all do)

that man has THREE wives why wouldn’t he question when he sees you two?? 😬🧍‍♀️

tanjiro had to hit em with the quick fix cuz when I tell you he did not let that slide 😂

especially with how slick uzui mouth be gettin..😒

Tanjiro also has learned to adjust to scavenging for food (he grew crops with his mom)

as well as inosuke (he grew up in the wild) and zenitsu (he used to have crops with his sensei)

so if you can too, great!

if not the 3 of them work together to make the 4 of you meals

and after they learn how to stop burning them

theyre pretty tasty too!!

don’t expect inosuke to share.

do expect inosuke to take

-note to self, m/n.

zenitsu doesn’t see the attraction to males instead of females

he won’t judge but will ask you two if your sure your into males

and after tanjiro gives him that lecture about being respectful-

he doesn’t question it again

LOL

inosuke straight up don’t care

he doesn’t really view relationships in a romantic way

its more so between “they’re beneath me” , “they’re above me, I must beat them”

so no worries about him judging either 😋

if nezuko doesn’t like you

it’s not to say tanjiro won’t date you because of it

but I’ll honestly say it plays a factor

If sweet nezuko doesn’t like you it prob means something..🤨

she has good instincts so tanjiro might start to assume you have ill intent or smth 😬

he’ll try to get her to like you and if she warms up to you he assumes it might’ve been personal 😂🤷‍♀️

but if she doesn’t..

he finds you like 30% less attractive🧍‍♀️

if she does like you from jump, she starts to protect you as well

and loves to spend time with you when she’s outside her box

tanjiro adores this and you three cuddle or play in each other’s hair whenever you have the time

It also makes him happy if you accept nezuko as a demon quickly

after missions tanjiro finds you, nezuko, zenitsu and inosuke

then cries

like your all just a crying mess tbh

i mean unless your like emotionally unavailable..

BC I DON’T SEE HOW YOU COULD NOT CRY AS A MINOR WHO HAS TO KILL LITERAL HORRIFYING BEASTS FOR A LIVING?!?!?!?

Tanjiro will help you achieve your goals as you likely help him achieve his

even more so after that night you had where you opened up to each other about your past

(again, only if you have truama)

tanjiro is really grateful for you

before all he had was nezuko

and aside from zenitsu and inosuke

now he has you!! 💗

tanjiro’s love languages are acts of service, quality time, words of affirmation and (shy) physical touch

actually maybe some gift giving when he can too!!

so all?!

such a green flag 💖

for acts of service as I said he’ll genuinely do any sane thing you ask of him

he cares about you that much

he won’t bother to complain about being tired either

he automatically assumes your either doing worse or he’s fine

as for quality time he gets really relieved when he gets sent on missions with you

at least he can be there to see and protect you

(or maybe vice versa 😂)

he’d beat himself up about not being able to protect you more if you get serious injures

tends to your wounds everyday then trains vigorously

to get stronger and protect you as you fight along side him when he fights muzan

if your gonna fight along side him in that battle? He’s gonna need to be strong enough to protect you.

he doesn’t want to loose you.

especially not to that man.

he lost everything to him.

he won’t let it happen again.

💗💕💖🍡♥︎

for quality time outside of missions ✌︎('ω')✌︎

tanjiro likes to train, cuddle, go on walks, go shopping, chit chat :)

All that good stuff <3

with words of affirmation he really just praises you all the time

”you did your best today in training! I could tell! :D”

“You look great today m/n!! I’m glad your wearing the (favorite men’s jewelry piece) I got you!”

”I can definitely tell your getting stronger, m/n!!!”

it can also be

“get a good nights sleep, m/n! I love you!”

”be careful on your mission okay? I love you, m/n!”

“thank goodness we surviveeeeed!!! I love you m/n!! I love you so much!!”

now lastly for (shy) physical touch

he is nervous to touch you

he doesn’t wanna make you uncomfortable, yes that’s the last thing he wants

he doesn’t know how to execute it so he ends up either asking or making it very obvious of what he’s trying to do

that way you can shut him down early on just in case

and you won’t feel pressured to let him if you dislike affection

which mind you he does asks if your okay with it first

so that’s likely not the case

if you did mention your distaste for physical affection, however, it’s duly noted in his mind and will keep it to a minimum

your gonna have to discuss boundaries or else he’s gonna act like you have the plague trying not to upset you 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Tanjiro doesn’t dislike pda or anything

he’s just a bit embarrassed about it

maybe if it’s more subtle like resting your head on his shoulder, then yeah that’s okay!

hugging too!!

but direct kissing or hand holding?

his face is a cherry and he’s apologizing to the passerbyers for disturbing them

even if they don’t mind

he’s self aware when it comes to not disturbing others

tanjiro can be a little flustered/shy about things but he’s certainly isn’t embarrassed about your relationship!

he’s quite proud, actually!

will happily tell/correct anyone that asks or misjudges♡♡♡

It’ll make me happy if you enjoyed this, so hopes to you did!

(apologies for the procrastination, and thank you for your patience lovelies!)

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immoralimmortals · 9 months ago

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Thank you for answering my burning character analysis question! I have tons more :D can you tell me about your thought process when you were writing each of the Akatsuki and how you put them together and how their personalities reflect in canon? Hugs

Oh...this is such a big question. I'll do my best! Answers under the cut <3

Honestly a big thing for me is to try to incorporate their actual way of speaking in my head? I try to notice the way they talk, and I think that's a big step into making them more convincing. I reblogged something before that's like...the best advice for writing, ever. Ask less "if" they'd do it and more "how" they'd do it. How, if you want something to happen, would this action be carried out by this character? I think this opens a lot of avenues for the imagination and helps make the story more fun. If you incorporate their manner of speaking, that's a big step into making the character believable (points in favor of you executing the "how")

For specific characters...here's some ideas I got in mind.

Itachi is a walking dead man. He knows he's dying. The thing that drives him is the execution of how he will die. So he keeps moving forward, at least so that how he passes on is the way it's meant to be. I think that makes it hard to enjoy life. I think he still treasures it-- i think he loves the little things like a sip of hot tea, a breeze in the air, the way someone smiles...but he's not exactly a thrill seeker. He doesn't go out of his way to enjoy things, especially if they're more outgoing in nature, unless it's to benefit someone he cares about. When it comes to said someones...he feels a great sense of responsibility. He's very subdued and doesn't intervene often, especially anything harsher than a suggestion, but when he DOES, it's quite controlling. Hence the whole assumption that using his genjutsu to solve problems being the right thing to do without their consent.

He's reflective, he's passive, he's tired...but he has very strong ideals that will cause him to act.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Kisame is a lot like Itachi in the sense that he's very understanding of receiving a poor fate based on his actions. However, it's like Itachi has a 100% assurance about life while Kisame still wavers. He has strong ideals, very much so, and he acts very surely...but he has trouble thinking of himself positively outside of how well he fights. Truth is very important to him, and I think he's always second guessing others' intents. Not always in the direction of "theyre treacherous liars", but also "they mean something besides what they say". Double speak, holding back feelings, that kind of thing. I think despite himself he has a strong sense of chivalry-- which I use less here in regards to gender itself and more as a sense of knightship, of gratitude and servitude to those he believes deserves it. He has rough hands and a monster sword; might as well put them to good use and stand between them and the thing that intends to harm.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

First and foremost about Deidara: he behaves as if someone in his life gave him the advice of "it is essential for your brain and health for you to make sure you are doing and learning new things" and he defined his whole existence around it. He WANTS to know more. He wants to learn, experience, he wants to expand his horizons. He isn't afraid of new information, at least not in itself. What's an artist if not also a critic, absorbing all the world has to give in order to reflect it in their work?

I also think of him-- since he's only 19 in the anime-- as someone who must have been a child prodigy, since he's so powerful and (presumably) feared. Here's a quote from chapter 22:

Being lauded as a genius from a young age is both a blessing and a curse for the clay ninja: a blessing because a lack of confidence is worse than slitting your own throat in the shinobi world. A curse…— ...Because Deidara so often forgets he’s hardly had time on this earth at all, at least not compared to his cohorts. You have to be quick on your feet to win the game. And so...he adapts(...)

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Sasori is, predictably, the opposite of Deidara in a lot of ways. He's very self assured in the sense that HE is right and YOU are wrong. He's not very assured at all in regards to new information and other viewpoints. I've described him before-- and I mean this in the most loving way I can-- shallow and painfully self-conscious. He isn't good with criticism, isn't good with seriously considering other's conflicting viewpoints, and it takes him a long time or harsh outcomes to make him change his tune about something. I think he's so impatient despite loving the concept of immortality and eternity because he has inflexible criteria for what he's comfortable spending said immortality with. Time is precious. Don't waste his fucking time!

He's a lot more sensitive than he'll ever admit. That's why he's drawn to aesthetics; that's why he's so regretful of having a human heart. That's why he's so controlling over what exists around him.

"...I know how hard it is to try to talk to people,” the singer confesses. “That...it’s easier to deal with what you like and know and can predict, make that last instead of going through the trouble wasting through things you don’t just in hopes of it being better. I want to help!” Her breath hitches at this sudden reveal, but she takes a deep lungful to quickly correct. “I mean...I want it to be... easy for you.” (...) “I found myself wondering, you know? You know good things are eternal. So why is it so easy for you to feel your time is being spent badly? At first it seemed weird to me...but now it makes sense. You want your time well spent, to be full of things you enjoy or can at least tolerate. I get that.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Kakuzu is...a heartbroken man at the core that's built up layers around him to prevent that from ever happening again. I think he's very pragmatic. He looks at the past, sees his mistakes, and tries to move forward. He's halfway between thinking his past self-- before failing his suicide mission-- is an idiot and halfway to wanting to lock that piece of him in a box and protect it forever. It certainly wasn't *right*! ...But it did happen. So what now?

I think his perspective of money is the most factual, realistic conclusion he could come towards about what's reliable and ultimately matters. I don't think of him as a Scrooge type who's greedy for the sake of being greedy. I think he's very mindful of where money goes on a personal scale, the scale of the Akatsuki, and even up to international politics. He can't singlehandedly fix the way the world works, so he instead weaves through it, finds space and finances to make it work.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Hidan is...absolutely fascinating! He decided the logical conclusion of life is to experiment upon himself (see: torture) until he has received immortality. But that's not the reward in itself, no, he FERVENTLY believes in his god and he's right. He believes that slaughter is important and I think the sociological aspect of that is just so interesting. Because you're supposed to slaughter your neighbor. Is this meant as an extension of "don't trust anyone besides yourself"? Is the extinction of the human race the *intended* result? WHY does Jashin want people to die? What's that all for! Huh!

Anyway it really must be a very high tension, radicalizing childhood/life he's had to get him where he is. I think something very important to him is his autonomy. He wants what HE wants and why do YOU get to tell him otherwise? I think this explains why he complains about praying before battle, doing rituals to be forgiven for leaving someone half dead, etc despite being loyal to his faith.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Writing for Konan and Pain/Nagato is going to be really interesting, because a lot of it is going to be me figuring out how I feel about them on a more personal level, interacting emotionally. What I do feel strongly about is that they are both very virtuous, have very strong values. I think you have to in order to do what they're doing.

I think being Konan in particular must be very difficult because I think she is *consciously* very selfless. She isn't a pushover, she isn't uncaring, she doesn't act merely because she has nothing else to do besides what you suggest. She gives herself fully to her role as Pain's angel. How much of yourself do you give away for that? Her own opinions, ideas, wants...she willingly gives it up like she's a saint. Her life's purpose is to carry out the will of whom she perceives as a literal god on earth.

...But that god was once her friend. The body he inhabits is the corpse of the man she fell in love with. I think you HAVE to be broken up over all this, even if you try to put it aside for the greater good.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

I think of Nagato very similarly, in that he's not himself anymore but what he *needs* to be. He's a god. He has to play the role of god. Do things he doesn't want to do, take on responsibilities that perhaps shouldn't be put just on one man. Your autonomy just...whoosh! It's gone. You're an idea now, not a person. You have a goal, that's why you exist. Is it inevitable? Is this the only way he could have made sense of the kind of life he lived? Can someone give this guy a warm blanket and a hug? Holy shit, that's sad.

The flip side is that as a result he's very straightforward and assured. It makes de-personalization from his choices a lot easier.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

I'm going to be honest with you: I haven't fully decided how Zetsu works! I've done extensive roleplay as fusion characters before (think in similar terms as Steven Universe) so I'm not uncomfortable or unfamiliar with the concept. I'm just not...entirely sure...how the concept is carried out? Like if he's always, literally, two people that happen to share a body or if they're one person. The solution in the roleplay I mentioned is that the answer has to be both. So that's how I write him! Sometimes thoughts are from one of them, sometimes thoughts are from another. They, however, have a LOT of common ground and it makes it easy to make him coherent when I write.

Zetsu has such a disconnect from other people. One half has a nearly scientific, detached sort of interest in humans while the other is, as far as I can tell, the personification of hatred for humanity and a desire to start over? I think that makes him a very callous person with a great sense of humor. I also think this makes it very difficult for him to know his feelings when it comes to feeling positively, connectingly towards those around him. Stop that, feelings! I don't like that! Surely what I *really* want is control and to belittle the person! ...Why don't I feel better.

He just stares. There she is, just as he wanted. Scared, desperate, underneath his thumb, remorseful of her actions...and yet. And yet. ...He is not satiated.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

Tobi is a caricature of what Obito thinks of his child self, a genre-aware character who he uses to tell the kind of story he thinks life is. He is flagrantly foolish, cheery, useless(?), emotional, and personal. Tobi has all of the traits that Obito thinks he was as a naive kid and turns it up to 11, and THEN he uses the persona to be mean to people. I'm kind of obsessed with it, I think that's hilarious. When I write for him, I constantly think of how he compensates for having a masked face by greatly exaggerating his physical movements and tone of voice. He is, at heart, a performer doing a performance.

Obito himself...so he runs on the assumption that if he succeeds, then everything he's ever done will be justified. Right? I think that results in someone simultaneously so sure of themself while also feeling like he's stepping on nails every step of the way. Something deep in him has to be uncomfortable and hate it. For this reason, as the story develops, I think in the fic he's relieved. He sees purpose in seeing joy and relationships develop when Takara is there because he sees it as a demonstration of sorts. Him learning what it takes to try to make a world worth living in...which is ultimately what he plans to do.

If you want to know anything more specific, do let me know! Thanks for the ask uvu

#tak talks #akatsuki #akatsuki headcanons #itachi #kisame #hidan #kakuzu #sasori #deidara #konan #nagato #zetsu #obito #tak's ask box #aswtn fic #akatsuki x reader

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hetalia-club · 11 months ago

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Giving you this bc ur like, the only hetalia blog i still follow that still posts. But like.

Okay back in 2018-2019(?) i had a pretty big hetalia phase, i watched hetafacts videos n every episode that was on YouTube, i listened to the music on repeat. It was a major hyperfixation before i knew that i was autistic.

For the longest time after i stopped, engaging with hetalia for some reason i would. Cringe really hard whenever i saw anything hetalia related. Like. On ao3 when you go to search things it tells you how to search things and one i got (and keep getting) is like "hetalia tag:f/f" or something idk how proper ao3 searches work. Id like screenshot it and go to my friends n say "it haunts me" or some shit.

But like recently ive been. Embracing that part of my past? I guess? Like. Almost like coming to terms with it? Idk i started having a less bad reaction n like, realized it probably one of the more normal fandoms i was in. I was, cringe, as all kids are, but i was. Happy.

And then like. At a sleepover a few weeks ago, one thing leads to another and im telling my friend abt the songs and how ich leibe is. Just a recipe, and how i used to listen to almost all of the songs. I show them the clip of France trying to get England to sign a marriage contract, America ordering fucking condoms from Russia.

It has been at least 2 weeks since, and i can feel the hyperfixation coming back, half the music ive been listening too again is hetalia character songs (theyre so fucking good???) and ive been getting. Urges to watch the show and. I dont know how to feel or what to do?? Like. I'm afraid almost to get back into hetalia? Like i watched black butler a while ago, and i realized how. Theres some weird fucking tension between ceil n sebastian n i think im afraid im going to have that same reaction to hetalia?

Cause like there is shit i just completely forgot about. Like. The Bad Touch Trio. And im scared man.

Im sorry to fuckin, give you all of this, but i just. I dont know what to do ig. None of my friends like or used to like hetalia, the one i do info dump hetalia stuff too does not like hetalia and is learning shit about it against their will.

Idk, should i watch the show again? Is it, good? I genuinely can't remember anymore.

Sorry for using ur ask box like a confessional

I mean I’m right there with you man. The sole reason I am still in the Hetalia fandom is because hetalia got me through some real dark chapters and events in my life. I discovered Hetalia years ago in Highschool while with a very abusive ex who had to know everything I was doing at any given time. He wouldn’t let me go anywhere without him there. I tried to break up with him but he actually wouldn’t let me. He would threaten to off himself if I did so I felt bad because his mom was an alcoholic and his houses burned down. I stopped really going anywhere at all because if I did he would come with me and he ruined my relationships with most of my friends just by being ‘the worst’. I stopped cheerleading, I got depression really bad, I started to do terrible in all my classes but I discovered Hetalia while on deviant art and was instantly intrigued. It was like “idk what this is but I will now make it my personality”

Years later while with my most recent abusive Ex that I just broke up with last November I got back into Hetalia when our relationship started to get really bad and hard to cope wit on my own. I needed an escape and something to help me avoid him and no care so much about his insults something that I could think about instead of being sad all the time. Hetalia is something that just brings me joy. Instead of venting to people, getting therapy or increasing my meds Hetalia was just always there to go back to and escape. No idea what it is about it. Won’t go into details about the relationship, it’s irrelevant right now but I’m sure you can guess.

To answer your question, no Hetalia isn’t ‘good’ it makes zero sense and is confusing as hell. But for me it’s fun to use as a spring board for basically any kind of AU I could think up. The characters can fit into any type of situation you want to shove them in.

I would say give it a rewatch, as much as you want anyway. What is the worst that could happen? You continue an interest that brought you joy? Worst case. You are a bit cringe? Who cares if you are cringe if you are happy? Also not encouraging you to live a double life but if you are embarrassed to like Hetalia you don’t actually have to tell anyone how obsessed with it you are. No one but my ex knows how much I like Hetalia and he really has no idea just how deep I am in this shit. But if people knowing about one of your interests humiliates you then just don’t share it. At the end of the day it’s your comfort and it makes you happy it’s no one’s business.

There are a lot of old fandom tropes that have disappears the BTT being one of them. They put them as a group still but I guess they call it ‘bad friends ti’ now. There are still some things that make me side eye. But that’s every fandom I feel. You can choose who you wish to associate with and who you want to block or avoid. It’s your blog you don’t own an explanation to anyone.

Personally I don’t interact much with the people of the fandom itself I got a few people it talk to every now and again but really i just do my own thing. I write my own fics for myself. I got my little tumblr, discord and TikTok, I post about my little AUs and dumb thoughts and continue on. If people want to follow me that’s great, welcome. If they don’t that’s cool to!

Thanks for sticking around with me even after your Interest in Hetalia fizzled out tho haha! That had to be difficult I am very annoying at times I’m sure 😭.

Again worst thing that could happen than if you are a bit cringe. But not being cringe is boring as hell. Irl I’m one of the most normal bitches you could find. Carbon copy white girl. Absolutely no one would guess I were a Hetalia obsessed loser irl. In a line up you could not pick me out and guess my interests. So in February I got my hair done right? I got like. 500 dollar biolage it fades from brown to strawberry blonde. Want to know the reason I got this hair style? Because of Italy that’s why. I wanted red hair like him. Did I tell anyone that? No. When people said they liked my hair and asked me why I went red I would just go “idk just felt like it” but I would be thinking about him knowing the real answer.

Good luck anon, if you stick around welcome back the water is fine. If you don’t can you toss me that life vest up there if you don’t mind? Thank you!

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dreams-of-klag · 4 years ago

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THOughTs on the Green brothers. (spoiler alert, these thoughts are highly positive)

been seeing posts recently about the time john green was bullied off of tumblr like its something to laugh about-- i even reblogged one of them that was talking about how tr*mp should try to join tumblr and see how it goes (which was, admittedly, funny)-- but i just want to throw it out there that john green gets a bunch of shit that he doesnt deserve and i am tired of hearing it.

So heres my incomplete list of great things John and Hank Green have done that dont mean that theyre perfect people but just mean that for FUCKS SAKE people need to lay off and actually recognize that they are good people and actually making the world a better place.

1. in their podcast, where listeners write in with questions, they always refer to people asking the questions with gender neutral pronouns unless the person specifically expresses a gender in the text of the email. They dont talk about it, its just a thing that quietly happens.

2. Their books are fucking good

John uses his books to subvert common harmful tropes that affect the way people view women and people dealing with chronic illness. “Looking For Alaska” and “Paper Towns” are absolute refusals of the MPDG trope and absolutely condemn the main (male) characters for seeing Alaska and Margot as less than full human beings. “The Fault In Our Stars” is all about how illness in general but cancer specifically doesnt mean anything, its just a horrific thing that happens to people, and how nothing you learn from having cancer is valuable enough to be worth it, and how romanticizing illness hurts people who are dealing with it. “Turtles All The Way Down” is about OCD, about feeling like a burden on people around you, and sometimes actually being hard to be around and actually hard to deal with, but how that doesnt make you less of a person, and doesnt make you any less loved, and how “getting better” or being “cured” is not the end goal of mental illness narratives, sometimes you just need to be able to get through the day and that is OK.

Hanks books are a trip and a half. “An Absolutely Remarkable Thing” and “A Beautifully Foolish Endeavor” are simultaneously the books that have made me the most afraid of the future, and the most hopeful for the future. I dont know how else to say it. Also. well. written. queer. women. HOLY FUCK. WELL WRITTEN QUEER WOMEN. WRITTEN BY A STRAIGHT WHITE GUY. How?? you ask??? because he fucking talked to queer women, hired sensitivity readers, and actually values the input of marginalized people and wants to represent them well. Read these books.

3. This isnt even touching on all of the charity work that they do in which they NEVER CENTER THEMSELVES so im going to do it for them because they deserve some recognition for this. They are so generous with their time, attention, platform, and money in a way that i hope becomes more common, but damn, they are making concrete change in the world in a way that most people only talk about. and theyre DOING IT.

4. THEIR FREE EDUCATIONAL CHANNELS. FREE EDUCATIONAL RESOURCES. FREE. EDUCATIONAL. RESOURCES. and thats not even close to all of them. They also make really great explainer videos on their main channel about really difficult topics and they break them down into something you can understand.

They are just earnest, silly, and interesting people who are committed to experiencing the world with curiosity and i could go on and on with the just-- fucking GOOD things both of them have done and people choose to ignore those in favor of laughing about the john green c*ck monologue and making up twitter style canceling manifestos based on not having read any of their books or having engaged with any of their content in any way and straight up garbage. I just think they deserve better than that.

tldr: stop talking shit about the green brothers. ready for a keanu reeves style green brothers renaissance on this hellsite.

#thank you for coming to my ted talk.#vlogbrothers #dftba #john green #hank green #john and hank #john and hank green #hank and john #nerdfighter #nerdfighteria

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sad-brunnettee · 3 years ago

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!!could i request a fic where rockstar eddie is dating hispanic popstar reader (like selena vibes) and theyre just a power couple despite how different they are style/music wise

A/n: OH MY GOD YES! When I read this I automatically thought of Selena and Chris!!!

The Rockstar & the Popstar

Eddie Munson x hispanic! Popstar! reader

—

Your personality was what really got Eddie’s attention. You weren’t afraid to speak your mind and dressed how you felt most comfortable. It got you some weird looks from people but it never bothered you. Not just that but there were many who judged your music. You had some listeners who complained about you singing in Spanish, while others complained for your songs in English. You’ve learned that you could never do anything to please others, so you have decided to do things for your own entertainment.

Eddie, your boyfriend was the same, which is why the two of you clicked. Although, that didn’t mean the two of you shared any differences. For example, you wore bright colors and clothing that some may classify as ‘inappropriate’. Eddie, wore dark clothes that made him look scary. Most of your music was about love while others were made to get people to dance to at parties. While Eddie’s music, was loud. It caused heads to bop while increasing the volume, making the bass vibrate everything around them. Regardless, parents thought the same thing, you two were terrible role models for their kids.

Wherever the two of you went, heads will turn. Many weren’t sure how the two of you clicked. You just wished that people would see how great he treats you. Luckily, neither one of you seem to mind the stares or the critics.

Even though there are many people against the two of you, there are others who love you both. You’re not sure how many letters you’ve received from little kids, teenagers and even adults who told you the way your music helped them. Same thing has happened to Eddie, he has been told that he helped them gain confidence.

You just wish the two of you had more time to see each other. Performing concerts has gotten in the way but you two have made it work. You’ve sent one another gifts before their performance, called one another and when either of you could, you’ll go to each others concerts.

You were sitting on the chair in your reading room, you looked through a clothing magazine while a young lady styled your hair. You were invited to be interviewed and there were five minutes left before you had to go on set.

“What do you think of this dress?” You lifted up the magazine allowing, Lisa to see it. She only shook her head with a smile.

“I think…you could style it better y/n.” She responded truthfully, your outfits were always perfect.

“You think so?” You asked surprised.

She was taken aback by your genuine surprise, she would’ve never expected for you to be this down to earth. Yet it warmed her heart knowing that you didn’t let fame get to your head.

“I know so, now let’s go ahead and go to the set. It’s almost time.” She set down her stuff and walked over to open the door for you.

You got up from the chair and shook your hands, “I’m so nervous.” You said while walking towards the door. No matter how many times you’ve done interviews, you could never get used to it. The sound of applause set your brain on autopilot, without thinking you walked into set and waved at the audience with a big smile.

—

The interview was like any other, they’d mix Spanish with English. You think it’s their way to publicly humiliate you if you weren’t able to understand some words. Yet you were able to answer all questions thrown at you.

“So y/n, before our interview is over. Is there anything you’d like to tell the audience?” He asked as he pointed you to the right camera.

“Yes, my new single, Beso, will be out this Friday I hope you enjoy it… and speaking of besos. I’d like to send one to my boyfriend, Eddie. I miss you!” Even if you did sound corny, you wanted to show Eddie some appreciation. Your way of letting him know that nothing will get between you two.

Eddie taglist 🏷️: @hellomyweirdos @lubsana @satsuri3su @n39ro-chann @kenzi-woycehoski @yookayur @wittleespur

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senacal · 5 years ago

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Hello! Could you do a jealous! Erik Lensherr x Reader. Theyre both professors and all btw. Thanks!

Assumptions

Request: Requested by a lovely Anon 💕

Pairing: Erik Lehnsherr x Gender Neutral Reader

Prompt: Hello! Could you do a jealous!Erik Lensherr x Reader. They’re both professors and all btw. Thanks!

Warnings: Misunderstandings, jealousy

Abbreviations: (Y/F/N)- your full name, (Y/N)- your name

Author’s Note: 😬 Sorry this took so long to get out, I had a little bit of writer’s block and of course my dear friend, no motivation. The reader is gender-neutral cause I wasn’t sure what was wanted.

As always, Requests Are Open!

(Not my Gif)

(Y/F/N) loved their job. They couldn’t explain what had convinced them to teach at Charles Xavier’s school for gifted youngsters; perhaps it was Charles Xavier himself, or more likely, the student’s enthusiasm to learn from them. (Y/N) never expected to be a teacher, considering their high school and college experiences weren’t the most exciting or thrilling. They were almost convinced Teachers hated them, which is why it was ironic that they had become a teacher.

It was a year after (Y/N) had begun teaching that they had met Erik Lehnsherr. He was… different. Not in a bad way, but he was closed off. And he only ever talked to Charles, Raven, and occasionally Hank. For a month, (Y/N) thought he didn’t speak. There was nothing wrong with that either; a few of their students preferred to remain mute, and some students preferred to use Sign Language over speaking to communicate with (Y/N). So, if Erik was mute, it wasn’t an issue. (Y/N) wanted to get to know him better. Which was why they had attempted to be Erik’s friend.

Whenever Erik would enter a room, (Y/N) would casually make their way to him and make small talk. Most of the time they were met with silence. (Y/N) could have sworn Erik smiled the last time they talked to him, so they knew they were getting somewhere. Soon enough, Erik would start responding to them, small-short answers at first, but it was still something. (Y/N) even asked him if they were bugging him when the short answers continued. (He said no, but (Y/N) wasn’t so sure). Sometimes they wished they were an empath so they could get a read on Erik’s feelings, but alas, they were only able to heal an object’s physical wounds. But it was okay because they were a valued member of the team and Charles, Raven, and Hank loved them for them.

(Y/N) was almost worried Erik would never open up to them, but as soon as he joined the staff of Charles Xavier’s school, (Y/N) noticed Erik lingering near their classroom. It was almost as if he was seeking them out. (Y/N)’s heart fluttered in giddiness at the mere thought. Whenever they saw Erik in the halls, Erik would greet them with a hello and a kind smile. It was the best part of their day.

It got to the point where (Y/N) would expect to see Erik before they both went to their respective classes, (Y/N) to anatomy, and Erik to physics. This was why they found it disappointing that Erik was nowhere to be found. They wouldn’t have been too worried because even mutants got the flu and needed a vacation, but it was now the fourth day that (Y/N) hadn’t seen Erik and it was very concerning. Did something happen? Did Erik get hurt? Was he seriously ill? Did he leave again? Did he just not want to see (Y/N)? (Y/N) couldn’t stop their mind from jumping to conclusions. It even distracted them from their teaching, so they would often dismiss their class early. Why waste their’s and their student’s time if they couldn’t concentrate? In fact, with the constant short classes, (Y/N) shouldn’t have been surprised to see Charles stroll into their classroom.

“(Y/N), may I speak with you?” Charles asked once it was apparent that (Y/N) was too wrapped up in their thoughts to notice Charles.

“Hmm? Oh, sorry Charles, I’m just a bit distracted, what’s up?” They asked. (Y/N) sat at their desk hoping the steady position will get them to focus on Charles.

“It’s come to my attention that you’ve been letting the students out of class early the past few days, is anything the matter?” Charles asked.

“Oh, uh, no, I just, I’ve been distracted lately is all,” (Y/N)’s cheeks flushed in shame. They couldn’t let this issue affect their job any more than it already has.

“Distracted… by anything in particular?” He moved his wheelchair closer to (Y/N).

(Y/N) shifted so they could face Charles, “Is Erik okay?”

Charles raised his brows, “Why wouldn’t he be?”

“No reason, I just haven’t seen him is all, I was concerned,” (Y/N) shrugged. Maybe Erik really was avoiding them.

“He’s fine. I mean he was acting odd around me as well, but he said he was distracted. Seems to be a lot of that going on around here these days,” Charles nudged (Y/N)’s hand with a teasing smile.

(Y/N) huffed a small laugh, “I suppose I’m not the only one,” they drummed their fingers on their lap, “Don’t laugh, but I think Erik might be avoiding me and I’m kind of afraid that it might actually be true.”

“I won’t laugh at that, but Erik is a complex person. Sometimes he feels the need to isolate himself when he’s troubled, that could be why he’s been staying away,” Charles shrugged.

Charles had a point, Erik didn’t seem the type to confide in someone if something was troubling him.

Charles grabbed (Y/N)’s hand, “I hope everything works itself out, can’t have my best teacher struggling.”

(Y/N) smiled gratefully at Charles’s blatant concern. He was their best friend and they knew he was merely concerned for them. Before they could respond with reassurance, however, Erik stepped into the classroom.

“Oh, sorry, I- sorry,” Erik ran his hand through his hair, “Can I ask,” He pointed from Charles to (Y/N) “are you… do you two- Anything happening here?”

(Y/N)’s brows furrowed at the question, “anything like what?”

Charles snorted with laughter next to them. He waved his hand as if to apologize but the laughter bubbling from his lips made it hard to believe. “What?” (Y/N) frowned.

Charles dropped (Y/N)’s hand and huffed softly, “Nothing, darling. Erik, a word if you please?” Charles maneuvered his wheelchair outside of (Y/N)’s classroom.

(Y/N) watched as Erik walked out after Charles with a look of confusion. Was there something they weren’t getting?

_____________________________________________________________

Erik has had a rough couple of days. Before, Erik would usually brush off any inconvenience and continue with his day. But ever since he met (Y/N) it’s been a little more difficult to ignore the problem at hand. And that problem came in the form of one Charles Xavier. Erik knew someone as wonderful as (Y/N) had to be taken, but taken by Charles? Not that Charles wasn’t a good person, he was the best person Erik knew, he just really hated that of all people, (Y/N) was dating Charles; his best friend.

When Erik first met (Y/N) he knew there was something special about them, and not just because of their power. No, (Y/N) was the most caring, funny, and charming person he has ever had the pleasure of meeting. They always made sure to include Erik when he first arrived, and they made sure that he wasn’t feeling neglected. These small acts of kindness were enough to make Erik fall for them. But again, (Y/N) was with Charles.

At first, Erik thought he could ignore his feelings and simply brush them aside. But that was easier said than done. (Y/N) was always on his mind. Whenever he was in class, in the danger room, driving. There was no escaping (Y/N). So, Erik accepted his fate and became their friend; Only now he’d see Charles around more often, and he’d feel guilty for even fantasizing about (Y/N). Erik was living in hell.

The other day, Erik had the intention of telling Charles how he felt about (Y/N). When he walked into the living room, both (Y/N) and Charles were sat by the fireplace, talking and laughing. He realized he couldn’t get in the way of their relationship. He couldn’t leave again though, it didn’t sit well with him. Instead, Erik chose to avoid both Charles and (Y/N). Whenever he would see (Y/N), he’d turn the other way and pretend like they weren’t there. He altered his route so he wouldn’t run the risk of running into them. When he saw Charles, Erik would find a way out of the conversation and avoid him as well.

This had been going on for a week now. But even avoiding (Y/N) was like torture; he missed them. He wanted to see them smile when he said hello; he wanted to see them laugh when he told a joke. He missed them. So he went to find them. But when he did, they were with Charles. He didn’t know why he felt so disappointed. He had foolishly hoped to get some alone time with (Y/N).

It got to the point where Erik had finally asked if (Y/N) and Charles were in fact in a relationship; It sure seemed like it. He shifted nervously in place, avoiding Charles’s eyes. He wished he was using his helmet right now.

“Erik, tell me, do you like (Y/N)?” Charles asked casually.

“What would make you think that?” He mumbled.

“Oh, I don’t know, perhaps it’s the disappearing act you seem to pull whenever we’re together or the fact that you haven’t spoken to me or them in days?” Charles raised his brows accusingly. He obviously wasn’t as in the dark as Erik had hoped.

“Maybe I just don’t like talking to you?” Erik shrugged.

Charles rolled his eyes, “Please if that were true I’d have known long ago.”

Erik ran his hand through his hair, “What if I did? There’s no chance for me, I know that. And I would never do anything to jeopardize our friendship.”

Charles smiled, “Well, I’m glad to hear that, but there is something you should know. (Y/N) and I aren’t together.”

Erik frowned, “Did you two break up?”

Charles chuckled, “No, you git, we were never together. We’re just friends. I promise. And if it helps, I’m pretty sure they like you too.”

“Really?” Erik grinned. It seemed he could only string together unintelligent answers now that he knew (Y/N) was single.

“Would I lie to you?” At Erik’s look, Charles rolled his eyes, “When it counts?”

“No, I suppose not,” Erik cleared his throat and finally met Charles’s eyes, “Now if you’ll excuse me, there’s someone I should talk to,” He pointed to (Y/N)’s classroom door behind him with his thumb.

“Definitely. I’d wish you luck, but I am positive this will go well for you both,” Charles winked and left Erik to talk to (Y/N).

Erik took a deep breath and re-entered the classroom.

(Y/N) looked up from fiddling with their fingers when he walked in. They smiled when they saw it was him. It was a pleasant surprise. They had expected Charles to come in. “Erik, it’s been a minute.”

Erik shrugged, “Yeah, I wanted to apologize for that. I uh, may I sit?” He motioned to the seat near their desk.

(Y/N) nodded seeming eager.

Erik pulled the chair closer to (Y/N) and took a seat. “First off, I wanted to apologize for my behavior. I shouldn’t have been avoiding you.”

“So you were avoiding me?” (Y/N) asked.

“Yes, but not because I don’t like you,” Erik rushed when he noticed the disappointed look on their face, “I like you a lot actually. That’s why I’ve been avoiding you.”

“That makes absolutely no sense.” (Y/N) crossed their arms over their chest, “You don’t avoid people you claim to like.”

“That’s a good point, but in my defense, I thought you were dating my best friend.” He drummed his fingers on his thighs, “I know it seems stupid now. I feel stupid, but it only seemed logical at the time.”

(Y/N) smiled and shifted closer to Erik so their knees were touching, “You were jealous of Charles?”

“I know, I know. I’m an idiot, but you had to see how close you two are,” Erik defended.

(Y/N) laughed but nodded in agreement, “Okay, I forgive you.” They took Erik’s fidgeting hands into their own, “And if it helps, I like you too.”

Erik beamed, “It does.”

“Good,” (Y/N) let go of one hand and laced their fingers together with the hand they still held, “Now, ask me on a date so we can stop being idiots.”

Erik laughed happily, “very well. (Y/N), would you like to go on a date with me?”

“Erik, this is so sudden,” (Y/N) teased.

Erik rolled his eyes fondly, “Yeah, only took me a couple of months to get the courage to ask you out.”

(Y/N) bit their lip, “I’d love to go out Erik.” They leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to Erik’s cheek.

“It’s about damn time,” Charles’s voice echoed in both mutant’s minds.

#erik lehnsherr #magneto #x-men #erik lehnsherr x reader #magneto x reader #x-men x reader #reader is gender neutral #jealousy #misunderstandings #xmen #xmen x reader

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mallowstep · 4 years ago

Text

(insurance claim)

Mistyfoot paces in their bedroom, waiting for someone to pick up her call. The first hints of dawn show below their curtains, and Mistyfoot finds herself peeking through them as she waits.

The phone finally picks up.

* * *

"I'll be fine," Feathertail says. "Shadepelt will watch the kids and I feel fine enough."

Mistyfoot sighs. "Are you sure? I can--"

"I'm sure. Stonefur is here most of today, and if things get worse, I'll call you, I promise."

Mistyfoot searches Feathertail's face. She's being sincere, but Mistyfoot walked her to the bathroom and she sat down to brush her teeth. Mistyfoot wants to stay home with her, because she wants to, because Feathertail doesn't tell the others when she needs something, because Mistyfoot is always afraid of comining home and finding Feathertail worse, but she doesn't have enough days off to stay home every time Feathertail has a bad day, and she can read between the lines. Tomorrow might be worse.

"You'll tell them if you need something?"

Feathertail nods. "Promise."

Mistyfoot sighs, kissing her forehead. "Okay. I'll try to come home early."

* * *

One more month, and then it's been a year, and she can request more time.

* * *

Stonefur is hiding something from her.

Mistyfoot waits until it's just the two of them, Feathertail and Stormheart playing outside with the triplets, and then she confronts him about it.

"I'm not hiding anything."

"You are." She raises her eyebrows. "I've known you your whole life, Stonefur, I know you."

Stonefur sighs. "Misty -- I'm not hiding anything. I just...it's complicated."

"You're literally refusing to talk about something."

He looks away from her, then rolls his shoulders. "Leopardstar called me a few weeks ago. I've -- I went...I don't know." He sighs. "We got coffee. That's all."

Mistyfoot nods. "How was it?"

"I don't know. It's a lot, Mistyfoot, and I don't...I'm not ready to talk about this, okay?" He puts his hand to his chest, and Mistyfoot knows he's looking for a ring that isn't there. She hasn't asked him why.

"You know you can talk to me, right?"

"I...it's not about that." He sighs. "Look, I don't -- I don't know, and I can't..." Stonefur looks back at her. "I need to figure this out for myself first, okay?"

"Okay."

* * *

"Okay," Stormheart says, "so normally, this joystick does walking, and this one is the cursor. But we can switch them."

"Well, you're going to do the cursor, right?"

"Yeah, unless you want to. And then we'd switch them."

Feathertail shrugs. "Keep explaining."

"Okay, this button is the one that does an action -- you'll see, when we get going. And that one is the menu, and..."

Mistyfoot smiles. She has no idea what game they're playing, but Greystripe bought them it, and Stormheart spent this morning learning how to play.

"This is your character -- we can change it later, though."

"I want it to look like me."

"Yeah, you can do that. Do you want me to put in your name and stuff first?"

Feathertail nods.

Stormheart fiddles with his controller, asking Feathertail a few more questions, and Mistyfoot takes a quick photo, sending it to Greystripe.

i think theyre having fun

His typing bubble pops up almost immediately.

I'm glad. Thanks for letting me know.

#mine #human misty au #mistystar #feathertail #socks #fun fact! i play(ed) stardew valley like that #well not exactly like that but #i did actions and the other person did walking #i can't do the fighting stuff in the mine #(not sure why; i'm not great at games but i mean i'm not bad)#so he would do those sections #and i did all the cutscenes #etc #q

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icecreamkink · 4 years ago

Text

watched all of the untamed / cql in two weeks after my friend 1 told me abt mdzs a hundred years ago and my friends 2 and 3 tried to get me into cql for like two whole years and there are.

feelings.

very first scene is a very dramatic death in the middle of nightmare battle on sith planet land . i will forget abt it in the next tenish episodes and then will be very surprised when it becomes Extremely Painful

anyway magic flying gays and possession and human sacrifice! we are off to a great start

in retrospect, chaos goblin wei wuxian must have had a blast pretending to be so cRaZy and be as disruptive as he could as mo xuanyu lbr

listen. why is fire always evil coded. cant a magic clan wear red, black and orange and have flame motif while being wholesome?

For Legal Reasons These Are Not Zombies

i wish the politics of the sect were a bit clearer, especially at the beggining when the wen clan had sm power, was wen ruohan the chief cultivator? is that why they were so slow in responding to the attacks? im v confused by the pre yiling patriarch politics

fighting in the roof by the moonlight as way of flirtiiiiiiing. as i understand this is a wuxia/xianxia trope and honestly...... thank u for ur service

slight bullying and being a nuisance in general, as a way of flirting we love to see it

wwx: if i drink on the rooftop, thats not inside the cloud recesses! hmmm check and mate :D lwj: i will fuck u up so help me god wwx: :0

i lov them

through hell or high water (quite literally) wei wuxian rem ains a trashfire gremlin till the end and i love him with my whole heart

in the pt subs wei wuxian calls jiang cheng a stubborn duck and i dearly wish that had come back

my opinions on almost every character goes from love to hate u - Hmm Me Like U - BABY. ILY. and i am Very Pleased w that. its been a while since i loved such a complete cast so much i think

no really. i WONT go into a detailed rant abt what i love about each of these characters and each of their relationships to each other. but i COULD.

some lan disciples in the loudest whisper ever: YEAH THATS THE JIN BASTARD MENG YAO HEARD THE GOT SUPER HUMILIATED BY HIS DAD LOL SURE HOPE HE DOESNT TAKE SLIGHTS TO HIS CHARACTER TO HEART

lan xichen, immediately: i must Love him

being into problematic ppl is in the Lan genetics, we come to realize

wen qing deserves so many awards for so many things but not snapping and just stabbing wen chao is at the top

that scene at lan qirens class where wwx talks about using resentful energy to fight a violent spirit. exquisite.

It establishes Good Student lan wangji, wei wuxian as curious and questioning and not afraid of taboo, lwj sees that wwx is not, in fact, a dumb ass hes just a Dumbass, shows us the audience (esp. a western audience) how shocking the idea of disrupting the dead/dying and controlling resentful energy actually is, the theoretical foreshadow arguing, everyone else like ‘shUT UP’, “and how could you ensure that the resentful energy would obey you and not hurt other?” “well i havent thought that far” and of course, lan qiren just straight up lobbing a hard object at wwx head,. chefs kiss

fellas is it gay to bother the hot rule obessessed nerd from ur school and make drawings of him with flowers in his hair and then hide gay porn in his book to antagonize him and ask him to hold ur hand and be ur friend and talk to him all the time and get him drunk and give him bunnies bc you know he likes them and give him a lantern and always want his attention and dedicate yourself to getting him to smile-

and after all of that wwx rly said oh i Admire him, aksd like yeah we all were there in high school buddy

i have Learned. caves = gay.

accidental marriage +beint physically tied together with the sacred married ribbon+ gay panic+foreshadowing+bunnies! in the cave (1)

the story abt lan yi and baoshan sanren tho. i would like to see it

early days wen bros pull my heart strings like a guqin

EVERYTHING about the lantern scene; disaster hets jiang yanli and jin zixuan; how wwx made lwj a bunny lantern. how soft and touched lwj was. wwx gleefully pointing out he was smiling and lwj IMMEDIATELY PULLING HIW SWORD ON HIM LMAO. tragically foreshadowy promises to do right by pepople, living without regrets. lwjs 'oh no do i love him??' face. just. all of it.

i have it on good acc that in the novel lwj is explicitly Repressed Gay Panicked Big Horny which is delightful and rly Adds to the performance

baby lwj is really just conceal dont feel dont let them know u have EMOTIONS (derogatory)

jiang cheng rly went "why dont.u go play with HIM if u like him so much"

jc and wwx have big BIG annoying sibling energy dont think too hard abt it or youll cry

lotus pier is soo pretty :((((((((((((((((

up until episode 13 you could think this could be a magical ancient chinese gays pride n prejudice w swords and shenanigans ................youre just not prepared for the game of thrones of it all

seriously ha ha ha i cried so much w this show my eyes genuinely swelled up . like. physically. fun timez fun timez

that being said, its hilarious that wen xu goes to cloud recesses like 'come out or ill kill all these hostages' and then DOESNT WAIT FOR AN ASWER AND KILLS THEM ALL IMMEDIATELY. do u know how blackmail works sir

would like to make it recorded that from day one i was like 'CALL A GODDAMN CULTIVATION G20 THIS ASSHOLE SECT IS LITERALLY MASSACRING YALL!!' and it took them like 3 or 4 massacres to do anything and they STILL sent their heirs into their territory LIKE

when wwx cites the gusu lan rules to wen chao tho. that rebel/attention whore/cutie pie 'look lan zhan i DID memorize the rules after all' ‘also a big fuck you to the wen sect :D :D’ sweet spot that scene achieves . delicious

all the cultivator young masters being petty af even though they are practically prisoners at the cave is hilarious and i love them

hurt and comfort + gay mistunderstandings + watsonian gay declaration music + accidental evil acquisition! at the cave (2)

its like where do i start? the fact theyre both trapped and kind of heavily injured inside an isolated cave with a murder turtle? wwx gay panicking lwj into coughing up bad blood? lwj being jealous as wwx babbles abt mianmian? telling him he shouldnt play with people and wwx saying he never played him? wwx going Oh. I See what is happening. YOU like mianmian, and lwj absolute done face ??? (iconic) wwx touching the sacred married ribbon Again? the telepathic communication? the sword? WEI WUXIAN ASKING LAN WANGJI TO SING TO HIM AS HE IS PASSING OUT AND LWJ SINGING HIM. THE SONG. HE WROTE. FOR WWX. AND THAT HE CALLED. THEIR SHIP NAME????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

they are SO insufferable pleeeeease

in the words of my friend 1 : “CQL is so gay we were all amazed how it got past the censors Ofc unfortunately it can't be novel level gay But they did their best And we love them for it”

in the theme of songs THIS OST. WUJI HAS BEEN LIVING IN MY MIND RENT FREE SINCE I FIRST HEARD IT the whole ost is so so sO beautiful.

the costuming in this is also soooo exquisite. the embroidery? the fabrics? the details? how every sect and clan has a distinct style and architecture? (also ik they based each off of dif periods in chinese history which is REALLY fucking cool) just chefs kiss

the direction too!. i enjoy the unusual camera movements and i think they give it that Vibe, also their composition is PARTICULARLY good when it comes to telling the subtext through position of camera/position of character (like nhs off to the side in scenes he at first glance doesnt need to be/ how lwj is often centered when hes Jealous Yearning at wwx being affectionate w other ppl, wwx return from burial mounds etc)

ik madam yu is like Badass Milf Check and shes not getting any mom of the year awards but im delighted at how messy she is. IMAGINE that woman on tiktok

you better have enjoyed gay cave (2) bc its Just Pain from here on out!

jiang fengmian and madame yu win the Most Dramatic Way to show they do care about each other, actually ..... ever :)

i thought jiang yanli jiang cheng and wei wuxian forcing themselves to escape yunmeng barely holding on after their parents are killed was going to be the height of pain in this show. ha.

the family dynamics in general on this showwwww, both blood/ adopted/ found families, brotherly bonds and lifelong friendships just. rly. truly. fucked me up. theyre all so important and complicated and well rounded and beautiful and tragic

and beyond being a Win For the Gays im so glad the relationships w wwx and jiang yanli/ wen qing were NOT changed from platonic bc they are so much better like that imo. like maybe if we didnt Live In A Society it wouldnt be so, but the fact wwx and others can love and value them so much and theres nothing romantic or sexual abt it is like. so refreshing. especially @ jyl, with the way he and jc are overprotective of her and shes such a nurturing/care taker figure for them, it would just not vibe as well if they made it romantic

i love that this is a story abt Wei Wuxian, the Yiling Patriarch aka Actual Satan/Boogey Man/Village With/Public Enemy Number One , my dude is literally a necromancer who only dresses in black and has evil smokey black tendrils wafting out of him, but the really edgy one is still jiang cheng, pastel purple fashion icon

and speaking of best/worst siblings wei wuxian and jiang cheng *immediately starts crying*

The Golden Core Transfer i just. no thots only tears

wen qing and wen ning putting themselves in so much danger just.... to help them. wn saving jc from wen chao. wq finding a way to get wwx to transfer his core. like thinking about the monumental work these two did to help wwx and jyl and jc... jyl trying so fucking hard to be strong and keep on moving and giver her little brothers comfort after losing everything... jiang cheng. losing his parents and his home and his ability to do anything abt it and his complete desperation and lack of self worth and turning on them with agression when he didnt realize all that they did for him ... hhhhhhhhhhhhh

me, pointing at the whole cast “i just LOVE them mom!!!”

its sad tho, that BARELY ANY of the women have like.... actual important conversations let alone relationships with each other at all in the story. and like wq and jyl have stayed at the same place for extended periods of time, where wq actively took care of her TWICE, and still! not one measly convo, nothing! ................ .𝓌ₕ��

everyone in this show need a good sip of Self Worth and Stop Sacrificing Yourself juice

ngl the sword flying looks very dumb

“a-cheng, please bring a-xian back.” “i will, i promise.” ;-;

the whole calling each other by the More Intimate Version of the name, first as teasing and later as true intimacy. mmmhmmm yes

untamed where everythings the same but wwx evil flute song is eoeo

related that scene when wwx comes back from the burial mounds for the first time w demonic cultivation and he acts all formal and calls lwj hanguang-jun and keeps being evasive and distant and mean and soooooo................. facetious

and how hes kind of desperately trying to keep intense lwj at bay (A FIRST) and avoiding actually talking to either of them and its all tension ughhh and then he MOCKS his and lwjs relationship, he jokes w him in this like... mean echo of their usual ~banter~ oof

and like!!! uncertain but so relieved jc who just HUGS him w no reservations for once and its not like he isnt just as worried as lwj abt wwx and what hes doing, but he chooses in that moment to enjoy getting him back first and mmhmMMMmMm yes (maybe my favorite scene in the whole show? MAYBE SO. )

highkey hurt me but also. i might be into mean wwx. i will take no criticism.

lan zhans sad eyes tho :(((((((((

on one hand i wish we could have seen what happened at the burial mounds but on the other the timeskip adds so much flair to his return so im hnnn

also i love that hes been missing for 3 months reappears kinda melancholic and bloodthirsty and knowing malign tricks and jc is like 'so. are u sad bc of lan wangji'

when ur bae survived the war but he thinks ur evil/ might be evil so you cant kiss :///

hmmm talking at the rooftop under the moonlight not mentioning everything that stands between usssss

they are the two jades of lan and we’ll be the two heroes of yunmeng is the type of line u dont even need to know whats gonna happen to know thats gonna be sad

when they fight wen ruoshan at the nightless city i thought that was the battle we see at the first ep and its not and its so easy and theyre all like ‘yayy we won go wwx!’ i was just. SCREAMS WHAT is gonna HAPPEN

so like. post burial mounds/sunshot campaign pre yiling patriarch wwx is like. ultra arrogant, ultra mocking, peak lil shit and it gave me e v e r y t h i n g i wanted

even tho having the wen prisoners at the targets at phoenix mountain and still having wwx and jzx shooting the arrows was???? so.... tone deaf

wwx: fucking w demonic energy jyl: he has never done anything wrong in his life, ever <3 <3 (mood)

the parallels between meng yao/wei wuxian (and even xue yang a bit?) are Seen and they are Valid

wwx post burial mounds: can yall SHUT UP abt the goddamn sword (suibian left the chat)

LIKE truly, we talk abt the angst and yearning with wangxian. but what abt wwx and suibian. xianbian / xianqing angst and comfort 100k

take a shot everytime someone coughs up blood

zidian is simply the coolest spiritual weapon rip to suibian and chenqing and bichen and sendou and baixa........ but tis the truth

cons: everyones families died in a nightmare war! everyones homes burned to the ground! everyone is traumatized! pros: everyone gets cooler clothes and weapons!!

wen ning and a-yuan and yanli bestest babes squad dont touch me rn

everyone: brooding and fighting wq and jyl: why dont you try some acupunture/drinking some soup and calm down huh? how abt that bitch??

showing the battle/massacre at the nightless city first was genius actually bc then everytime we have a cute scene w yunmeng bros and theyre like 'we'll be together forever! uwu' youre like oh. oh no. oh no no no.

justice vs lawfulness vs means and ends 👁

jc: stay in the right path and practice the art of the sword wx: yeah thats not gonna happen chief

my reaction to wwx renouncing to the sect politics to help the wens was just that elmo burning gif in succession

the dramatic rain. wen qing desperately calling out to wen ning. the ghosts/puppets killing the guards. how terrifying wn actually was while wwx was controlling him :( lwj goeing after him to try and stop him and then he just; he Sees him and understands him even if he cant actually do anything about it other than let them go.

“there must be somewhere in this earth we can go to :(((((((((”

"IF I HAVE TO FIGHT THEM, I'D RATHER IT BE YOU. DYING BY YOUR HANDS WOULD AT LEAST BE WORTH IT." oh my god oh my god oh my goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooddddddd

also lwjs umbrella is white w black smoke.. . . nice

yiling patriarch / demonic farming burial mounds settlement is like one of my favorite concepts. they an "EVIL" FARMING COMMUNITY LED BY THE VILLAGE WITCH COME ON

they planted TURNIPS and LOTUS FLOWERS and ONE (1) baby and made lanterns and a common hall :(((((((

wen qing and wei wuxian, baddest bitches and genius science best friends i absolutely LOVED to see it. they rly went ‘is anyone gonna sibling/project partner that’ and didnt wait for an answer

both wwx and jyl getting lotus ponds at the burial mounds and in lanling bc they miss lotus pier ;;;;;;;w

;;;;; wish jyl had actually gone into the burial mounds. we were robbed of jyl and wq meeting again and jyl meeting a-yuan and seeing the settlement and the homes and all ;w; at least jc did go, stab wounds and broken arms and all

wwx like... having thrown his whole life away to help the wens (yeah the sect leaders and jin guangshan in particular wanting his stygian tiger amulet was an Element but still) and not.... necessarily regretting it, but grappling with all of the consequences of it... becoming moody and drepressed at times, missing his family and lotus pier and his friends and probably simply missing being around people and causing trouble, extrovert that he is, lashing out at the wens and at a-yuan, just in general the whole messiness of that experience

the way the resentful energy does affect his temperament is rly nice bc its not too in your face,(i mean outside of the Shaky Hands of Rage) but like he clearly has a much lesser control on his anger and impulsivity (tall order) than both before bm and after hes ressurected

on that note A-YUAN BABIEST BABY BOY BEST BOY

lan zhan being like oh hey there wei ying fancy meeting u and our son here. just passing by u know how it is hmmmmMm and then PLOT TWIST having defied orders to go see him and being punished for it. oof;;

they habent seen each other in like? a year? and now theyre tgt 10 seconds and are already parenting a child together

also lwj rly kneels down in the snow way too much to be healthy

wwx: calm down guyssss i wont lose control of demonic cultivation omgggg . spoiler alert: he loses control of demonic cultivation

did u enjoy cute children? good bc now the Real Pain Begins

jiang yanli and jin zixuan rly out there APROPRIATING both disaster gays AND bury ur gays huh ;w;

i KNEW jin lings birthday was gonna fuck something up but the GASP that left my body when wwx lost control of wn and killed jin zixuan .. . .

im sorry and thank you aaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAaAAAAA

when wen ning and wen qing were telling wwx their plan i was saying NO NO NO NO NO NO out loud in despair

also can we talk abt how wq is definetely talking about only the both of them surrending themselves but then? everyone else just surrenders w them? IT MAKES NO SENSE LIKE WHY WOULD THEY what would be the Point

sometimes there are some pretty gaping jumps in logic and continuity that are just like ? ?

wwx: oh so when you try to murder me its justified but when i survive through dark magic and murder all of you its a "war crime"

unsurprisingly, his most feral, most spiraling moment talking to the sect leaders on the roof and attacking them and even fighting lan zhan is among my favorite scenes... its like, so painful to watch but also so thrilling (and maybe my wen bbs dying arose some resentful energy in me what can i say)

and its JUST, all they ever wanted was to do good but then... war. and trauma. and hubris.

jiang cheng on the ground clearly thorn between what to do and feel is a Mood, lets just say

i was already crying when jyl showed up, but if i wasnt-

i suffered SO MUCH through this series trying to figure out WHY jc would kill wwx. and when i understood. its somehow not as bad as i thought and also MUCH MUCH WORSE

a look into my group chat during the last flashback episodes:

SO ANYWAY. after the BLOOD BATH and RIPPING YOUR HEART OUT and FEEDING IT TO YOU the untamed goes ‘ayy back to the present!! tu du dud ud du’

literally it ends a quarter into an episode and then KEEPS GOING i had to pause and stare blankly at the ceiling for an hour

babie cultivators and detective soulmates . i do need some cute after All of That

(not that the pain is over LOL)

lwj is significantly less emotionally repressed in the present and its delightful. hes just ALL IN with wwx. and not just in the ‘i would and have killed various men and risked my reputation for you’ but also ‘ur tired here have a drink i brought it up cause i know u like it and it want you to be happy, always’

“when everyone praised me and wanted my power, you were the only one that challenged me. now that everyone hates me and wants me dead, youre the only one that stands by my side.” hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

and just filling in the blanks how lan zhan searched for him. for all of those 16 years he searched for him and was punished for it and raised a-yuan, the only survivor of the burial mounds settlement, as his own in gusu......

and jiang cheng. being the tough love uncle . having raised the yunmeng jiang clan from the rubble all alone, his whole family dead, some of it on the blame of his own brother, his siblings, his closest friends gone.......and only jin ling there needing his guidance.

THE PARALLEL BETWEEN JIN LING BEING A LIFELINE FOR JIANG CHENG AND A-YUAN FOR LAN WANGJI AFTER THE BATTLE AT THE NIGHTLESS CITY

great now i made myself sad

and like . the fact! that lwj and jc dislike each other!!. jc projects blame onto him for wwx both “leaving” him and indirectly causing their families deaths and when hes so consumed by it he makes wwx an enemy, lwj is there now? trying to protect him?? and lwj, who can never understand the pain that wwx , indirectly or not put jc through, but who was right there when jc tried to kill him and will never allow him to hurt wwx again. and how they like. in a way project blame of their tragedies onto each other while dealing with some type of survivor guilt and in their own way still loving wwx through it all??? amd in way its kind of fundamentally selfish but also tragically understandable? and like when u put it against the fact that after he disappears during the sunshot campaign they were looking for him together and fought together??

JUST. THE CHARACTERS. AND THE RELATIONSHIPS IN THIS. MAN. UGH. GOD.

and like i think thats what makes it so good? its such a sad and painful and violent story, edgy even, but its compelling bc at the center of it there are all of these relationships and different types of love and hope and. :( i love it

enough crying lets talk abt wwx sleeping at the jingshi with lwj and wearing his under garment for a minute 🙏

jin ling just has that Was Raised by JC energy tho lmao i love him

babie cultivator squad is the perfect ammount of cute and comedic relief while still bearing the weight? of the narrative in a way, both from sizhui and jin lings existences, and also. like. how do i put this. they feel hopeful? they were born after a war, they came of age at a time of relative peace, they dont hold on so closely to the resentments of their parents/father figures, they are specifically shown as more accepting and open minded. and its like.... Hope for the future

one of the ?? things i love the most is the fact that the main cast are often in situations where theyre hunted/running but they like. never wear disguises... just going around in their gorgeous expensive clan clothes and hair ornaments and distinctive spiritual weapons.... maybe w a straw hat on, just for kicks

wwx teacher 🥺🥺🥺

so this is why its called Yi City Misery huh

a-qing is such. an icon. im so sad. my girl even knew to leave xys dumb self rotting by the road but no one listens to her thats why theyre all dead or sad

her and xue yang measuring each other up was so entertaining lmao

its the funniest thing when hes like. HERES MY SAD STORY. FOR WHY IM A SADISTIC MURDERER. I BROKE MY HAND ONCE.

like ok someone broke his hand in a horrible way, and like Poverty, i get it but also like.......... that lost the brunt of a proper sob story like, 50 sadistic murders ago bby

and i love that xingchen does not entertain that for a second hes like ‘not ?????? good enough???’ and the best thing is he wasnt even like 'u hadto be the bigger person' or sth but ' well then break that dudes hand back, rip his arm off for i care, what do the rest of us have to do w anything???”

anjo sensato :(

xue yang is like..... the sexy sadistic evil version of a himbo..... a meanbo...

the fucked upness of xy’s feelings for xxc/ xxc and sl feelings for each other... like my dude literally gave his bf HIS EYES. and xy getting so attached to xxc .... the fucked up fake domesticity.... having him hurt sl..... then desperately trying to bring him back ...................... oof

song lan........... literally had his eyes AND tongue removed, his bfs eyes put in place, was almost killed, turned into a puppet by his bf unknowingly, manipulated by xy, sees his bf killing himself in despair.... and STILL finds the strenght to get up from there, and keep on traveling and helping people and attempting to fix xxcs soul.......... like, my man. damn.

wangxian looking at songxiao and seeing an Actually more painful parallel for themselves. ft. that Color Coding.

THE A-YUAN/SIZHUI REVEAL PUNCHED ME IN THE HEART but in a good way for a change

should have know that he would be the Best Boy the cute one w all the braincells

the butterfly AND the bunny lantern. i see how it is

u know is very convenient that no one can see the stark black veins on wen nings neck, ever

BAT WEN NING

wns face when lwj comes into wwx room like ‘:0 omg did u two finally get your shit together? good for you master wei good for u’

(they didnt) (yet)

DISASTER DRUNK LWJ. JUST. THRUST SOME CHICKENS TO SHOW UR RESSURECTED BAE THAT U LOVE THEM.

i have absolutely no idea WHY they gave lwj the same punishment for fighting his own sect/allies to protect the burial mounds as when they got drunk on cloud recess class days.... like? its such a ... emotional continuity error again

also is lwj gonna get an actual friend besides wwx , ever

mianmian marrying and having a family and a cute life after saying FUCK U AND UR SYSTEM TOO in a much less unhinged and dramatic way than wwx......... fills me w joy

also lol the idea that like. her husband not knowing that shes friends w satan/the boogey man/the village witch is hilarious

i love nie mingjue bc hes the resident Though Guy but also the most dramatic bitch in this show and thats Saying Something

jin ling cant have one uneventful relative can he

the fact that everyone present already knew “mo xuanyu” was wwx at the stairs is so funny, their faces are like ‘oh............ wow. that. sure is a development. shock”

in the tradition of extremely loud whispers wwx tells lwj with twelve guards standing like one meter away from them: HEY PSH LAN ZHAN PRETEND IM FORCING YOU TO STAY W ME DO IT

oh my god oh my god

the absolute Yearning on his face when he leaves wwx and a-yuan at the burial mounds and refuses to stay for dinner was already Enough but the fact?? they brought it back?? to this declaration of love?? their expressions??????? strike me dead right now just go ahead

lFor Legal Reasons We Cant Kiss but we will have a very sappy declaration of love and trust and look at each other in way that is the actualization of 💞💘💗💖💓💘💞💗💖💘💗💖💕💞

also icb all the sect leaders and guards are standing there watching them say they like like each other with a dozen swords pointing at their neck

i enjoyed the depiction of the fickle public perception and how easily it can be used to scapegoat people. when the sect leaders turn on jgy and wwx knows thats its more for convenience than anything else...

poor lxc is literally like 'oh so when YOUR problematic boyfriend gets called evil its a misunderstanding but when its MY problematic bf-'

ok like i cant get over nmj let jgy play a song that messed with his temperament at all, like maN u KNEW he might be shady wth

wwx: “hey dont say anything bad abt lan zhan hes not an arrogant dick, thats just his face.

ME ON THE OTHER HAND"

the cultivators as wwx is poking holes in their narrative is literally *nazaré meme*

"wei wuxian-!" "what did i break your leg, too?" not to be problematic but i laughed so hard

not as hard as "you dont have the rank to talk to me " tho

i Enjoy that, over the course of story, wwx sees that... theres nothing truly to Do, but move on. he saw how his arrogance and his mistakes hurt others, and hes trying to fix what he can, but he already did die for his mistakes and there are things he cant fix and that's. just how it is. even towards jgy, the narrative doesn't go gleefully and completely with "lets make THEM pay bc theyre the big bad" bc its not that simple, and it wouldn't lead anywhere but more pain...

re him and jiang cheng and the wens and kinda. isnt that what nhs did? scheming to displace jgy out of revenge more than any justice and doing so in the most painful way?

idk if that actually makes sense im truly just babbling

i thought the scene at the lotus pond would be CUTE but the context was PAIN again

jiang cheng finding out about his golden core and his conflict with wwx at the guanyin temple .... destroyed me but in a nice way kinda.... same way it destroys him look at his face oh god

and. the fact??? he sacrificed himself for wwx?? first?? and he'll probably never tell anyone much less wwx???? keeps me up at night

i havent decided if the neckbreak transition between jgy does sth super Evil or does he he does OR Does He yes he does O R does heeeee is sth i dislike or not

jin guangyao and wei wuxians most interesting parallel is that... theyve both seen 'hmm hey this system is fucked up' and wwx went 'so fuck it all i will renounce it and challenge it' and jgy went 'so fuck it i will use all of it to my advantage and manipulate it to my goals and whims'

the fact jgys mom was actually great and he loved her and his whole issue w it was more than simply being ashamed of being a bastard kinda got me ngl

never trust a dude with a fan.

nhs and jgy: the first rule to a convoluted and decades spanning violent revenge plot is to have fun and be yourself!

when a-yuan finally FINALLY remembers ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;-;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; wen ning has someone in his family back and a-yuan has someone to talk abt his wen family and wwx has him back bc he survived and lwj raised him anD HES THEIR SON. THEYRE MARRIED AND HAVE A SON. UGH.

and theyre allowed to heal. everyone is allowed to try and recover and be happy

netflix put all of the 3 endings on top of each other and it looks kinda weird actually BUT I DONT EVEN MIND :’’’’’’’’’)

the gasp that left me when lwj says ‘wei ying’ and wwx turns.........

there was also a screen with ‘thank you mxtx for creating these characters, we hope their wishes come true’ and i might. have cried then too. maybe.

that was . a ride. as is proven by this behemot of a ramble clearly i just really needed and Outlet. i am currently trying to convince dumb monkey brain to not consume the other medias of mdzs immediately bc i REALLY need to like. live. a life. and take care of real responsibilities. *longest oh boi ever*

#m.#ANYWAY #ENOUGH TALKING #THIS IS SO LONG #LOL #but whatever this is MY performative journaling i do what i want #rambling impressions abt what i watch is a thing i do now? apparently??#cql #untamed #the untamed #fun fact that chat is named 'k keeps on babbling abt the untamed' and it STILL wasnt enough #also it took me 15 episodes to realize lwj was yibo #IT WAS V SHOCKING #i did not recognize him at a l l #but in retrospect he WAS the perfect choice

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mycptsdrecovery · 4 years ago

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TW for abuse, mental health crisis, unreality, mental hospital mention

hi im a 19 year old and still living with my parents. ive been trying to move out since august and i planned to move out by december. in late december i was not having much luck with housing and i started having memories of not so great things my parents did to me throughout the years play in my head. i rly have no idea how to explain this confusing clusterfuck of a situation in just a tumblr ask but basically i want to know if the things my parents did count as sexual abuse.

from a young age my parents didnt respect my boundaries. my parents often touched my butt (it sounds so stupid calling it that idk what else to put) in seemingly nonsexual or accidental ways, but they didnt stop as i grew older. i remember the first time that i realised i was being sexually abused (thats how i thought about it at the time, idk). i dont remember what my dad did specifically but i was 8 years old-ish, i started puberty around then because my body hates me. it was probably to do with my butt/waist/ things and my dad touching them. we were about to go in a shuttle to the airport, it was like 2am. i remember i stayed silent through whatever happened but at some point during or after i remember bursting into tears and like... thinking to myself that my dad is sexually abusing me (i dont remember where i learnt what that is) and my dad asking me what was wrong but i refused to talk because i was scared. moments like these where my dad touched me in a way that didnt feel normal and i burst into tears happened multiple times. ive felt very uncomfortable around my dad for most of my life at this point. hes the kind of dad who doesnt talk about anything hes thinking or feeling, doesnt talk much at all or have many friends. we have rarely had conversations past surface level talk thats appropriate for strangers or acquaintances so i have never known whats in his head and whenever ive tried to get him to talk with me about something serious he shuts down and leaves. hes very neglectful emotionally, though he used to sometimes fulfil his emotional duties as a parent when i was a very young child according to my mum but he stopped at some point. for a really long time ive been afraid that my dad was sexualising me in his head or sexually attracted to me. ive grown up having nightmares about my parents raping me.

here are some of the things i remember my parents doing. some memories are not easily accessable and some have not been processed as an adult.

-both my parent regularly touched my butt in a variety of contexts. i never confronted my dad about it because i knew he wouldnt answer me. i have learned to only hug my parents in a specific way so that my arm is always under their arms so i can stop them from putting their hands too low.

-my dad used to put his hand on my waist and hips/lower back. he was basically doing the kind of casual touch that you would do with someone ur in a sexual relationship with. he doesnt anymore because i have stopped allowing him to spend much time with me.

-my parents, mostly my mum have touched my breasts very lightly and casually. it could be seen as accidental but my mum has never responded to my frequent requests to stop touching me like this.

-my mum showed me her vagina once as... sex ed? i have no idea if this is normal which is kinda how i feel about most of the ?sexually? themed things my parents have done.

-my mum has always commented on my body in ways that made me very uncomfortable, such as often commenting on how i would be sexually harassed because of the outfit im wearing, even the necklace im wearing.

-my mum gave me several moderately detailed accounts of sexual assaults that hve happened to her, like for instance when i was around 6-9? she used a story of a sexual assault that happened to her while in a pool to say that i be afraid in public pools. the amount of detail was very unnecessary.

-one time my mum was telling me about how boys pinch girls buttcheeks to tell them they think theyre 'sexy'. then she pinched my buttcheeks a bunch of times even though i didnt want her to. im sure she did this many times and i was literally like 5 years old or something.

-my mum talked to my sister while i was in earshot about... how she would be ok with it if i married my 1st cousin? and she named him specifically. it made me feel rly weird around him.

-again my dad has always just given me huge predator vibes and ive always been super afraid of him.

this list is definitely incomplete but i dont remember anything penetrative or to do with anyone touching my genitals.

i tried to tell someone about the "sexual abuse" twice when i was 13, both during mental ward stays about 9 or 10 months apart. the first time is completely blacked out from my memory and the second one... they told the police. my dad was questioned and nothing happened because i never wanted anyone except the nurse who i told to know and refused to tell anyone any details. i just wanted to get a weight off my shoulders. instead i got a 3 or so year long period of my mum emotionally abusing me to a degree she never had. i was almost completely convinced that i had never been sexually abused. i still dont know if its true or not. the specific term my mum used was that i "mis-interpreted" my parents actions as sexual abuse. i didnt push back, i was too terrified of her and i just dissociated to cope with those years. i was very very isolated from anyone except my mum. i wanted desperately to be a young child again and felt like one most of the time. before 6 years old was the only period where i felt like my parents actually liked me.

when i was around 15 i started sexually getting involved with older men online. i wasnt attracted to them, i didntdesire them, i just was so traumatised from... whatevrr u want to call the way my parents treated me but i didnt feel that i had the right to be. i felt like i needed to get some "real" trauma and i dont want to say what i did but im lucky that none of these men ended up meeting up with me irl at least. the fucked up thing is that though it did traumatise me, i kind of felt better because i wanted something i could feel justified in being upset about.

now im 19 and my brain is hitting me with all these memories. i havent felt safe with my parents for most of my life. theyre neglectful and emotionally abusive towards me. they abused all my other siblings physically quite a lot and two of them have moved to different countries so that they can not live in the same place they grew up in. 2 out of 3 of my siblings have completely cut ties with my parents for years now. when i was 11 i recoeved an email from my brother telling me about our parents not being safe people.

ive started to consider the possibility of the constant violation of my boundaries counting as sexual abuse. i have a lot of sexual trauma symptoms and i have for a very long time. i grew up afraid that my dad was going to rape me. i think i was abused by my mum into associating holding my parents accountable with the punishment she put me through after she found out i reported them. i just want to know if im allowed to be upset about this. im terrified that this is normal, because if its normal that means i was a gross freak as a kid who just "mis-interpreted" these actions to be sexual abuse. i need to make sense of my reality somehow. im so confused.

you absolutely have the right to be upset by this. what they did to you was not okay. an adult touching a child intentionally in inappropriate areas is molestation, even if they played it off as not a big deal. many of the things you mentioned also sound like grooming which is often a part of childhood sexual abuse. i’m so sorry these things happened to you. i hope you are safe and can find a way to not be around your parents.

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imaginethathaikyuu · 5 years ago

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How did I find your blog? I was looking for soft Kuroo content on google. And your soft birthday hc’s for him came up. And that’s also how I found tumblr

What was the first story of yours that I read? That Kuroo piece ^

Roughly, how long have I been following this blog? Well I found that piece shortly after it was posted so…. Around the beginning of December 2019 I think. Got a tumblr a few months later and you were the first person I followed (had you in my bookmarks bar before that! (still have you in my bookmarks bar and when I share my screen in classes there are occasionally questions. I ignore them))

What’s something I’ve noticed about you personality wise? You’re really clever and funny. But you’re also sweet. But because you’re clever you have no hesitation in setting up and enforcing your boundaries, and I really admire that strength and confidence.

Have we ever interacted, either by PM, ask, or in the comments? What was my perception of you? YES!!! PM, SOOOOO many asks, comments, and you sent me an ask. And reblogged it. And I cried. A lot. My perception: you’re lovely and I want to h*ld your h*nd ….please.

What’s my favorite story of yours? Oh how to choose. Firstly, I’m a nb, biracial, bisexual. Honey, I’ve never made a choice in my life. But let’s try here. Anything you’ve written for Tsukki. Literally all of it is gold. Fight me. I was going to write “especially [piece title]” but I LITERALLY CANNOT CHOOSE ONE. Your Bokuto nightmare piece. Your Kuroo angsty fight. Your Tendou dealing with S/O with parents who yell piece. Your Kinktobers. Your Futakuchi and Mattsun pieces. And your Terushima pieces. Ugh. I CANNOT CHOOSE. OH AND YOUR STREAMER KENMA!!!!!! OKay just… all of it. I can’t choose. I tried, and I failed, and I’m willing to admit failure.

What’s a story I’d love to see you write? I don’t want to say this… because it hurts me… but I just KNOW you’d write brilliant angst. Some of my fav pieces of yours are pained beginnings with happy endings. That fight with Tsukki after a bad day at work. The pieces I mentioned above (nightmare pieces and fighting pieces and angsty home life ha.. ha.ha.ha.). That Oikawa one where the reader wakes up in bed without him and thinks he left. You write these gorgeous atmospheres and descriptive, visceral feelings, and if you chose to use it for evil…. You could get evil shit done. You’re SO powerful. So I want to read it… but also…. I don’t. I’d love to see you write ABO like you mentioned a while back or just see you explore a cutesy soulmate AU or something. I think you’d be really good at writing an AU where you hear what the other person’s listening too. I feel like you’d be so good at making me feel something for someone who was in another city. (think this would be cute with Tsukki cos he’s headphones boy, OR terushima because I like the dynamic of someone flirty, who clearly cares about looks, falling for someone he can’t see) ANYWAY….

Favorite pairing you write for?/fav reader insert? Tsukishima x reader. It’s my fav self-ship. (but also Mattsun, Bokuto, Oikawa, Tanaka, and Akaashi because you write them SO WELL!!!!)

Have any of your stories helped me through a hard time? Of course. Your self-harm piece came at a time I needed it. Iwaizumi’s in particular saved my life. But also your Tendou dealing with S/O parents who fight… came right when I needed it. Also starting college… was hard.. And reading and rereading your fluff really pulled me through it.

Have any of your stories hit closer to home? YES (see above).

Do I genuinely like your blog, it’s aesthetic or posts? It’s overall feel? It’s content? Yes. The aesthetic is, ngl, a wee bit basic. But I kinda love that. And the feel? It feels like home. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Your blog is my safe space. So, yes, I love. It’s content? YES. OF COURSE. Your personality probably could have kept me here even if your content was kinda shit, but I follow you RELIGIOUSLY because of your content. So yes. I adore.

Is English my first language? Kinda??? I grew up in a trilingual household so I kinda learned three languages at the same time while growing up. But no, I don’t need to translate it in my head. Because English was one of the three.

Anything I want to share? Yes. Please keep being kind to yourself, caring for your mental health, enforcing your boundaries, loving Akaashi, and just generally being you. You’re so lovely as you are, and I hope you continue grow, but never change. Also I’m sorry about all your work stuff…. It literally makes me feel sick. And I hope you find a job where that’s not tolerated, or that your work finds a better way of protecting it’s employees. I know you know this, but none of it is your fault. I just hope things improve. AND I love you… a lot. And I’m so proud of you hitting 9K and you deserve so many more followers because your pieces are just... GORGEOUS. I can’t wait until I’m at Barnes and Noble in a few years and I can pick up a hardback copy of your debut novel. I’m so excited to say “I knew Em Akaashi (which is your legal name as far as I’m concerned) before she was so popular among the masses.”

so ive been trying to figure out the correct and worthy way to reply to this ask since the moment i got it......because its so fucking sweet and kind and amazing and pure and perfect and i just dont know how to use WORDS to explain the way it makes me feel so.......i will just reply in bullet points in regards to every question u answered to make it a lil easier :D

- the fact that u found my blog on google ....... like this may be odd and a very specific thing but before i made this blog i always hoped that 1 day my fanfic would pop up in google searches bc thats ALWAYS how i found fics when i was reading them religiously and i felt so much ENVY!!!!! LIKE I WANTED TO BE THERE I WANTED MY FICS TO B POPULAR ENOUGH TO POP UP ON GOOGLE.....that may sound very selfish but its true......so thats just very cool to me... :]

- u’ve been here for so long omg 🥺🥺🥺🥺 if anyone in ur classes ever asks jus promo my blog like its nbd

- thats so sweet what 🥺🥺🥺 i try my best to advocate for myself and be confident for myself.....ive spent far too much of my time being silently uncomfortable because i was afraid of pushing someone’s buttons seeming rude.....but NO MORE!!!! i know what upsets me, i know my triggers, i know what i dislike experiencing, and im never gonna let myself be anxious or uncomfortable for someone else’s sake, esp if theyre being rude 2 me. i would say its less strength and confidence and moreso me attempting to take control of my anxiety in the places i can (aka on the Internet) bc i am SICK OF ANXIETY ATTACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- BBY no dont CRY!!!! im racking my brain trying to think of who u are i wanna know so bad so i can thank u personally for being the kindest person in the world n so i can send u more asks >:(........MY HAND IS URS TO HOLD!!!!! dont tell akaashi tho

- OMG my TSUKKI pieces.....hes so hard to write why ;-; thank u so much im so glad u enjoy my works<3333

- NOT ANGST NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!! pained beginnings to happy endings are my specialty.....IMAGINE me writing a sad ending like i CANT!!!!!!!!! ive only done it a few times and it is so Difficult.....YALL ARE SO LUCKY IM NOT EVIL!!!!!! ive had this idea for an angsty akaashi fic that i think about and write in my head every night before falling asleep and it Hurts and i wanna write it but i also can’t make myself :D ABO would be very fun but i genuinely do not know how to explore the concept while making it feel like it’s Written By Me.....u know what i mean? same with soulmate aus, i really dislike writing them because theyre just boring to me like they all feel the same everything’s been done for them.....which is FINE!!! but i write enough cliche stuff as it is HAHA, a long distance type soulmate au could be fun and interesting but ldr’s trigger me bc of a past relationship so </3 but hey maybe someone else could use the idea!!!!!

- gotta love tsukishima <3

- im rlly glad my writing could be there for you friend, one of the biggest reasons i write fanfic (and write the kind of fics i write) is bc i know firsthand how much reading sweet stories abt ur comfort characters can help u through the shittiest times - i just wanna offer ppl some support and happy feelings and love cuz sometimes fanfic is the only time we can find those things (and theres nothing shameful abt that either if anyone bullies u for reading fanfic i will fight them)

- I KNOW MY LAYOUT IS LAZY AND BASIC AS FUCK AND THAT IS BECAUSE I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT LMAOOOO so im glad u think its ok...... like i dont have the patience to create a fancy ass layout that actually works are u KIDDING ME??????? I COULD LITERALLY NEVER plus i kinda like that its just the basic kinda ugly boring default layout like it makes it simple and easy and i feel like it brings focus to the only thing on this blog that i care about which is my writing, i rlly only care about the content here and not aesthetics jdbljdabsdk that blue background will be there til i Die......i adore u more btw

- WHOA trilingual what the hell ur so cool tell me more

- you have my word, friend, that i will continue to do all of that so long as you do the same. take care of yourself, be kind to yourself - i know u can do it, ur so kind to others and u deserve to be kind to urself, too so this is the part that genuinely brought me to tears because *sappy dumb shit ahead* ok look ever since i can remember the one and only thing ive wanted to do with my life is become an author ...... dreams of book covers with my name written on them and words in pages written by me and fanart of my characters and going into my local bookstore n seeing my book there....these thoughts all haunt my fucking brain because i want it SO BAD!!!!!!!! so bad that it makes me CRY!!!!!!!! ive never wanted something more and just!!!!!!!!!!!! idk how much u meant that part but holy fuck!!!!!! i hope so bad that one day i can send u a free copy of my book as a thank u for being the person u are. u have all my love friend, every last bit of it <333333333

#ily<3 #long post

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voxxphantasma · 4 years ago

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omg u caught me (asstrid) :3 still gonna send u a few more also

11 for fabenquie

16, 17, and 18 for illestia

21 for domino

26 aureum

41 for mesoda

44 for fabinque again

i haaavent checked if anyone else sent these but have fun :]

hiii astrid :] thank u 4 all of these theyre fun

11 – In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?

ohhh astrid im sure u can assume. in terms of backstory, it's the moment that he learned that one of his own students had used the exact magic he'd engineered to hurt people. the fact that something of his own design could be used by someone who had such little regard for the consequences of their actions, and the saftey of others, was something that fabenquie was! not fond of! he hated the thought that he was at fault for teaching that power to someone who was so arrogant, and that he had given someone who was willing to hurt others, the *ability* to do so. from that point on, fabenquie made it a person rule that he would only ever teach students that he knew for absolute certain that he could trust.

16 – Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

i think, in a similar way to minnie, illestia doesnt quite see a difference. HOWEVER. illestia may be a very very very smart child, but theyre also. a child. i think they care more for short term gratification, and jn that regard, definitely idealizes happiness more. because. yknow. theyre 9.

17 – What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?

would it upset you to know that they Probably dont have any toys

18 – Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?

AMBITION omfg ambition all the way. they could care Less abt wisdom, they think it's annoying, if anything. but hooooly crap if they find out that youre Also striving for something great?? theyre going 2 b fucking Obsessed w u theyd follow you around everywhere asking a billion questions

21 – If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?

Haha. domino would absolutely vocalize the fact that he entirely blames others, and will even go as far as to try and Prove that he blames them. the issue is that, being as he is, that's what domino will SAY. but there's certainly many, many situations where he's instead blaming himself, and is just too scared and defensive to say it. especially in regards to upsetting lady tenebris.

26 – How does your character behave around children?

oh my god aureum loves kids. like i think she'd be rlly sweet— even if she probably struggles to Fully understand their needs and stuff (yknow, autism + being a half-dragon and not knowing much about how to raise children that. Aren't Dragons), she's really nice. she's definitely also very like... idk, respectful of them? she Treats them like they understand, bc she doesnt think kids r stupid. shes good and nice.

41 – Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?

. FOR MESODA? oh my god he fully believes that he deserves it. hes such a little bitch he thinks that he deserves everything he wants and More omfg

44 – How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?

it depends on the context, but i think for the most part he doesnt actually have That much trouble saying it? he just doesnt rlly have many people hed say it To, and fabenquie definitely isn't the type to say ANYTHING without meaning it. unless its directed at a certain Someone, but that's not a situation hed say "i love you" in <3 hes just Slightly mean to One specific person <3

#snail mail #mutuals #i know Technically anon but thats my bestie #kingdom come

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inventedbymelvin · 5 years ago

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Ch.4: Advanced Learning

( Disclaimer: Sorry if this chapter is lacking or isn’t right in some places. I had a trouble figuing out how to end it properly but I hope you enjoy it anyways. Shout out to @kittykat-creations for the help when it came to accuracy about adhd )

Once he got home, Melvin quickly went to the drawing board to draft his revenge. He surprisingly worked fast to draw and build his new invention in the garage, showing up for dinner and going to bed at a reasonable hour. His mother was more than glad to see he was in a much better mood. At dinner he explained he had recived some good news and mentioned the field trip, handing her the slip to sign. Once everything was prepared, Melvin finally had a peaceful night's sleep. He wanted to be ready to surprise them and prove he's better than third place. The morning of the field trip, all four stood in the morning fog as the monthly cut grass collected dew on it's leaves. Krupp stood with them, as he was chaperoning the trip. All of them had been given special jackets to go along with the trip and they could keep them as souveneirs. They also helped with the morning coolness and were fashionable. Thirty minutes later, the bus arrived at a futuristic looking campus complete with everything the aspiring genius needed. The inside was sleek and clean as everyone's footsteps echoed through the shiny hallways. In the main office, they chatted while waiting for their tour guide. Krupp immediately took a seat and looked around at the much better kept school. Melvin seemed particularly better than the day before.

"I'm glad you're feeling better." Harold patted his shoulder. "It's nice to see you back to normal." George smiled. Erica felt something was a bit off. The four had filled their backpacks with neccessary items like lunch, notebooks, pencils and paper but Melvin's seemed to have something more. She wanted to believe it was just a lunch box but she'd never seen the nerd carry one. He insisted it would ruin the value of collectable Advancimals merchandise. Erica decided to pull the boys aside for a moment. "I think he's hiding something. It doesn't make sense he'd turn around this fast, usually it takes him a week to get over an A minus." "He seems fine to me, much better than screaming at us all the time." Harold nodded his head in agreement with George's statement. "You're just being paranoid, he's fine. We'll all have a great time and he'll learn-" George was cut off as the guide entered the office and greeted them. "You must be our winners! Erica I loved your idea to clean up our waters! Boys, it truly is important to laugh! And Melvin, you have a budding career in robotics! Of course, Mr. Krupp, hes clearly doing his job well to have amazing students." The tour guide woman said cheerily as she shook their hands. She was in uniform with a pencil skirt and blazer outfit matching the colors of the school logo. After introductions she lead them to the first part of their tour, a lecture experience to feel like they're part of the school. Today happened to be a talk on Einstein's thought experiments taught by a young red headed girl named Max. Her record showed you could mix both imagination and smarts, having a positive reputation all around the world at the age of twelve! Surprisingly George and Harold paid attention. They had expected a boring mumbling professor that only Melvin would understand but Max seemed to encourage thinking and daydreaming. During the hour while the two were highly interested in hearing Max speak, Erica took a chance to observe the other boy in their group. Meanwhile, Krupp took a seat in the far back and immediately took a nap. He didn't quite understand why Melvin wanted to be here so badly, but sleeping was easier than figuring that out. Melvin simply took notes and was just as interested in the lecture. She was starting to think maybe she was expecting something too big. This changed when Melvin took a moment to check something inside his backpack, pressing a few buttons that seemed to be a code or as if he were setting something. Immediately she went to investigate, taking a seat next to him. "Whatcha doin?" Erica casually greeted. "Just checking something, it's not important." Her sudden interest seemed to annoy him, but it wasn't new that asking about any of his inventions or tech bothered him. "Do you think I'm going to do something?" He asked in return with some pain to his tone. "Look Melvin, I'm not trying to hurt you. There just seems to be a record of you...overreacting alot." "We already have a lecture in progress, I would respect you save yours for later." Despite his mask of cheerfully enjoying the trip, he was still getting over things. "I was answering a text from my mother." he took his phone out of his bag, showing the conversation. She felt a bit bad for her suspicions and returned to focusing on the lecture. At the end of the day after an extensive and winded walk through the whole school complete with a science experiment demonstration, provided lunch break and complimentary themed stationary, the tour guide asked if there were any leftover questions about it all. "Yeah! Why is this place so big! It took us all day to get around, and you don't even have those little golf carts!" Krupp complained for the upteenth time that day that his legs felt like jelly from walking so much. All the guide could do was offer him a bench to sit on and apologize for the strain. "Remember! You all three hold potential for attending this school with your wonderful thoughts and inventions." She smiled. "What makes certain potential less worth than other's then?" A familar voice asked. "Oh! None of you are less than each other! It's just there's typically a rigourous evaluation process with many factors that include--" Her sentence was cut off as a mech was heard putting itself together and Melvin was being seated where it's controls were. It was typically smaller than his usual but big enough to still cause property damage. He had to make it portable after all. "--include's emotional stability...." "I won't hurt anyone, I just want talk to the two who decided I got THIRD PLACE!" He grinned with a tone that sounds like he absolutely would hurt someone. Melvin kept his focus on the tour guide. "Where are they?! I just want to talk!" "I don't think theyre around today..." She tried to keep her best smile, trembling as she spoke. "Then GO GET THEM!" his voice was magnified by the speaker in the controls. "I'm afraid meeting them isnt part of--" She was cut off by Melvin walking down the hall with no choice but to look for them himself. She followed behind, stating that this was against the rules and asking for any form of help. Multiple students and teachers turned their attention to the commotion, as a small mech searched for two specific people. Max jumped a bit, associating sudden commotion with her run-ins with the corp even though they were no longer a threat. Melvin however, kept wanting answers from staff until he either found them personally or got their names. After yelling at a few teachers, he finally got some names and stomped off looking for their office. Anything thrown his way was met with being destroyed or pushed out of the way. Doors were broken, walls were smashed in, and offices were invaded as he searched. Drones, other bots and the occasional attempt to power down his own invention slowed his mission but he refused to quit in his blind rampage. George and Harold immediately summoned Captain Underpants much to Erica's disbelief. "Do you really think he's going to help us?" she sighed. "What other option do we have?" both boys shrugged. "He's fought Melvin before so it's easy to do again." Harold hypothesized based on very repetive data. "I'm here too! Plungerina!" Erica held her arms out dramatically. "Don't you think calling me would work too?" "If they need their toilets unclogged, we'll call you." George cheekily grinned, running off with Harold and CU to follow the sounds of hydrolics coming from the west wing. Plungerina followed after them with an exasperated sigh, doubtful of their abilities. Down the hallway, CU and the boys could hear Melvin unleasing his breifly contained anger at the judge's he now held in the mech's right hand. He sounded like he wanted to cry, being reminded of the shame. It seems the boys were a bit late but tried to talk some sense into him before any punches were thrown. The boys were dropped onto the robot's shoulders. "We really hoped you wouldn't try this. Erica thought you would but--" George couldn't finish in time. A metal fist slammed in the ground out of frustration. "I KNEW IT! YOU'RE JUST WAITING TO POINT AND MAKE FUN THAT I DIDN'T WIN!" He pushed them off his shoulders, both being before hitting the ground. "Someone didn't wake up on the right side of the bed." Captain remarked as he held the boys by their collars. "Well if he wont listen to us, maybe you can do something. Go try to stall him, we'll be right back." CU put the two down and flew in front of the robot waving his hand enthusastically. "You know, you don't seem happy right now, maybe a hug would--" The free metal hand slapped CU away like a bug as attention was turned back to his original targets. "Hey! That isn't how you treat a friend! I'll forgive you, but you have to stop--" He was swatted away again, only to return each time. This left Melvin with no choice but to drop the judges in a small cage as the nerd focused on trying to get rid of the soft boiled egg. "I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIENDS! IT WAS ALL A CRUEL JOKE!" came from the speakers as Melvin failed again and again to catch the caped hero. "I TOLD THEM TO LEAVE ME ALONE! I KNOW THEYRE JUST GOING TO PROVE THEIR STUPID COMICS AND CAPED BABIES AND FRANKENSTEIN DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MY ADVANCED ROBOTS!" "Well actually--" Captain attempted to respond which gave Melvin time to grab him by his cape and toss him in the prison with the others. A screen showed up in the small space, the feed coming from the control. "Now tell me WHY I won third place and not first, not even second!" He gave them a second to respond as he breathed in his inhaler. Angrily yelling took the wind out of him. The two stammered in their response, baffled why a science fair winner had inprisoned them in part of his impressively built mech with a man that needed to put on pants. "W-well, it didn't prove anything...." The male mumbled. "WHAT?!" "It didnt.....prove anything...." The lady repeated her collegue's words. "Melvin, your robots are impressive but you can't win by impressing people. We chose the others as better because they studied something. We see robots every day, if you had put your robot to beneficial use...." She tried to be gentle as possible but no words could soothe the fiery child at this point. "CHANGE IT!" "We can't...our requirements said the best would be judged by how it would provide insight or benefit--" "IT DOES BENEFIT! TEACHERS CAN GRADE MUCH FASTER!" "That's not..." "THAT'S IT!" The robot's foot stamped the ground in response to the controller's actions before taking off to simply destroy things. In blinded rage, more walls were smashed on the way to a garden greenhouse. Other staff, students and teachers tried to help but were no use unless they wanted to risk being thrown in a growing prison now consisting of two students who attempted to use a drone, a body guard, Captain Underpants and the judges. He hopped out of the mech and ran in, sitting among the greenery. It was calming and alot better than the darkness of his room. The other three eventually caught up via a golf cart that was allowed on school property for security purposes, winded by running to find one. Krupp might've had a point about needing a little bit of transportation help. "Where is he?" they asked in unison, as all pointed to the greenhouse. "Wait, why didn't you get out, you can bend bars!" Harold asked. "I couldn't leave my new friends! Jeremy was just telling me about his new favorite show!" The man mentioned as Jeremy(which was not his actual name) was shaking his head, clearly uncomfortable. The three ignored this and ran off. They kept calling Melvin's name only to hear footsteps far off trying to get away from them. Even mentioning that he was safe with them only made all four run in circles. Eventually with no more unwalked paths, they met in the middle. With no other form of defense, he held out his inhaler as if it would do anything damaging. "THIS IS BATTERY ACID YOU TRAITORS!" Unfortunately for him, this only worked on evil clowns and not three school children. "Please tell us what's wrong. Remember older you doing really dangerous things? We don't want you to do the same." She tried to be gentle but the mention of Melvinborg seemed to cause him pain. "You DONT understand! Leave me alone!" He tried to back up but George and Harold wouldn't let him leave. "Don't understand what?" "Losing...losing is bad. Shame." For someone who used big words, he was at a loss for them now. "Hold on Erica, he's....he's having a hard time with words." Harold backed away. "I was like this one time after school. A teacher couldn't help me with math and I couldn't find the words to explain myself." George backed away too, leaving Melvin free. Melvin looked at both of them nervously knowing Harold was correct. He had helped explain the homework better after Harold came home distraught from a teacher poorly understanding how to tutor him after school. He even made a better fidget cube when George complained he couldn't stim, resulting in a detention for going into a meltdown. Despite this, he still didn't entirely trust them right now. After a moment of silence, they handed him a pencil and paper. "If you can't say it, draw it." George offered. This surprisingly interested their frenemy and he quickly went to work doodling a small comic of his recent nightmares and feelings. It felt kind of nice and he wondered if this is how they were able to handle emotions better. Once he was finished, it was shoved into Harold's hands. When he was done he passed it off to George and after he was done, it was passed to Erica. She chuckled a bit, trying to hide it. The irony was very clear to her. "I think you're between two people who understand completely." "Who told you we'd laugh at you?" George asked. His answer came in the form of the comic author grabbing it back and flipping to a page, pointing at a very square drawing of Melvinborg. "He's gone, he can't hurt you." Melvin shook his head in response, pointing to his head. "So.....you spent the whole weekened and Monday thinking you were a target?" Erica looked towards him. He nodded in response. "What about our comic? Why'd you hate that?" On his phone, Melvin scrolled through pictures of various comic issues mocking him in one way or another, looking indignant at Harold. "Oh...right." "We wouldn't do that to you now. You're...not always aware of social cues but it's not cool to make fun of someone's insecurity. We made you this to show you we cared." George handed him the comic to read. When he finally got to the end, Melvin hugged his friends, still a bit wary of Erica. Suddenly the two judges came in with CU following behind them. "How did you guys get out?" George asked in confusion. "That bald man worried after a while about the small space and smashed through the bars allowing us to be free." He pointed to the visible broken jail just by the door. "I forgot I was claustraphobic until someone mentioned it was cramped." CU grinned, going over to the boys and Erica. "Let's forget all this happened, sometimes geniuses need a way to express themselves." They really didn't want to have to explain all this, since robot attacks were a frequent occurance in Piqua anyways. All of them nodded in agreement and headed to the bus. Just as they left the greenhouse, water misters started spraying the plants and hit Captain on the way out, turning him back to Krupp. When getting back on the bus, he quickly said "DONT ASK" to the bus driver, Mr. Meaner who had spent the day napping. Melvin salvaged what he could of the mech with it's prison broken, noting to fix it later. On the way home, he started to get his voice back too. "Th-thank you." It felt weird to be nice. "No problem, we just wish you told us earlier. You don't have to win everything to be good enough for us." Harold yawned. "You're already good enough making cool stuff for us to 'borrow'...and--" The rest of George's sentence got cut off as he dozed on the way back. Melvin smiled. It felt kind of dumb to worry about nothing but at least they understood. He still wanted to win and be better than the others, but maybe losing won't hurt so much if it happens again.

#science unfair #chapter 4 #its done #melvin sneedly #the epic tales of captain underpants #fanfic

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ask-the-party-god · 5 years ago

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Ask The Party God - Timeline

the pre-terezi-gang timeline post is here

height references over here

hi, im jade! everyones favorite party goddess and trans doggy girl~ but you already know that! if youre reading this, it means youre interested in learning more about my reality, because paradox space is fucking weird like that and you cant really be sure all the time

as far as im aware, everything up to the point where we beat the game happened without deviations from the alpha timeline? so this is what rose has talked about as a ‘terminal timeline’, or ‘post-canon’, or whatever the hell that is supposed to mean

we got to earth-c, and i settled in the troll kingdom because trolls are cool, dave and karkat were in the neighborhood, and the caverns are close by so i can visit rose and kanaya speedily as well! i still do have my old tower out on an island, with my workshop and garden, but i almost never sleep in it, too far away and isolated from everyone...

then one day i found this old active server in the furthest ring keeping tumblr active and i thought, hey, why not have some fun? ;D

as for the others...

my darling sis june egbert! she lives in the consort kingdom, but has been thinking about relocating elsewhere lately! she went through a rough patch right after the game, unsure of what to do and full of all sorts of doubts and questions, but shes doing a lot better nowadays! specially now that terezi is back, shes been a lot more peppy and hanging around with the lalondes particularly!

rose rose rose rose~ happily married to her wife kanaya, duh, but that doesnt make her any less of a flirty cutie! a while back she got really sick for a bit, and weve been keeping an eye on her just in case it happened again, but its been all good ever since! she helps kanaya at the caverns a bunch, which makes her schedule busy busy... and you didnt hear this from me, buuuut words out on the street that she and kanaya may be warming to the idea of having a kid! <3 well see how that goes!

one cool dude~ daves a little bit of a shut-in honestly! and honestly i dont blame him? he must be tired after all the timeline and time travel shenanigans, so he spends a good chunk of his time hanging out in his and karkats house! hes kind of awkward about opening up with feelings and stuff, and ive been trying to nudge him to be more open for a while! but with all the craziness thats been going down lately, and more people coming and going and getting together, hes starting to consider things he hadnt before~ hopefully, some specific someones? ;)

janey! my uh... ecto-mom, technically, although we see each other more like cousins than anything else! she still owns crockercorp, but ever since jasprose has been around, she has been spending a lot more time at home and just hanging out with her friends, which really, sounds a lot healthier than the big business thing she had going on a while back! she enjoys teaching me baking stuff, but doesnt have much patience for my decorating skills ;p

grandpa! and grandson technically, hehe, jakes kind of a weird case, hes a mixture of a shut-in, a celebrity and an adventurer! he can spend up to weeks at a time without leaving his manor, but then hell have full weeks of interviews and hiking, and thats not to say anything of when he and dirk put out another episode or two of their dumb comedy talkshow... hes often busy with stuff, but hes still a good pal and can clear his schedule in seconds if we need him for something!

one sweet nb dude! rox really is... something else, really! fun to tag along at a party, fun to chill at home playing games, fun to talk about more serious stuff and open up with him, he really is just solid as they come! hes been hanging out a lot more with june since she got out of her depressive slump, but sometimes i wonder if junebug finds weird to get flirty with roxy, considering im pretty sure we made out in front of her at some point or two... hehehe

dirk! if daves a bit of a shut-in, hes a shut-in times two, which is weird because youd think someone stuck in post-apocalyptic earth for so long would want to hang out more? not to say he DOESNT, though! hes around jake often enough, and keeps close to jane, roxy and dave specially! we dont see each other too often, but we HAVE been messing around with robots and planning out to upgrade our respective self-bots for funsies!

aradia! we only met briefly in dreams for the longest time, but i knew already that she was a riot! she came with terezis group after she finally found vriska, and seems pretty happy just... kind of... being around and watching shenanigans ensue! i actually dont know where she lives, but she drops by occasionally, because im apparently pretty ‘fun’... cant say i disagree ;)

sollux is blind, and not dead, and WILL kick you in the shins if you keep prying about how exactly he ended up like that, which is fair enough! he spends a good chunk of his time with aradia, and im not sure if theyre dating or not...? but hes been around the other trolls a bunch! specially kanaya, apparently theyre good friends that go way back! i guess they both DO style their hair similarly, with the side spike thingies...

the other half of the dave-kat duo! swooooon~ really though, i cant remember the last time i said “dave” or “karkat” without talking about the other shortly after... buuut theyre just roomies, and hell get awkward and grumpy if you even so slightly IMPLY otherwise, despite the fact everyone knows they fall asleep leaning against each other during friday movie night! roooolling my eyes~ with the rest of the living trolls having arrived, hes been a lot more willing to go outside, which im glad for! its healthy to get some fresh air from time to time, and specially hang out with friends!

oh-la-la, miss maryam-lalonde herself! kanayas the matriarch of the caverns, and quite the busy gal, having taken it upon herself to supervise her entire species reproduction and well-being... in my opinion, she needs a good vacation from time to time, and to be less of a workaholic! >:o ive been helping her occasionally in the caverns, and as of late weve begun trying to mess around with ectobiology for some troll-human crossing experiments with... not good results so far... but hey, rome wasnt built in a day!

terezis back, yes! after spending YEARS out there looking for vriska, she managed to find her and come back, the madwoman! personally im not sure why anyone would go to such lengths for... her... but also, its not my bond, not my place to speak, she obviously really loves her a bunch! with vriska no longer lost in the middle of the furthest ring, shes started to catch up with everything going on with earth-c, and i think shes really going to like being around! specially with how much june and the rest have missed her ;)

troublemaker extraordinaire herself! shes... well, shes vriska, im pretty sure she stole that eyepatch from sollux? so you just know she up to no good already >:/ speaking of her eyepatch, im not sure WHY shes wearing it? whatever kinda wound she got, she doesnt like mentioning it, despite bragging about defeating english at every chance she gets! terezi says they found her popping in and out of consciousness in the furthest ring with some messy wounds, and that shed probably been hovering out there after the fight for years... doesnt seem to have humbled her in the slightest <.<

callieeeee! theyre super sweet and wonderful but also really shy and awkward! they live with roxy but manage to outdo dirk in terms of shut-in-ness... they also totally like roxy but is unsure about approaching those feelings considering the whole species thing and whatever, ive been trying to get them to open up for a while now! weve written fanfic together and drawn grids, so i can definitely tell theres some attraction there, even if theyre afraid of acting upon it just yet <3

jaspie is roses bane, and the one cat that made me get used to their smell enough that i dont bark at them instantly anymore! im pretty sure she crashes at janes often, and is just as outgoing and flirty as i am around earth-c parties and bars, which is saying something honestly! i wont let her dethrone me as the party god, though >:)

and finally davepeta! theyre staying with june for the time being until they can get settled around and see what they want to do here! theyve also dropped by dave and karkats a bunch, which i most certainly dont mind! i definitely appreciate some help in bringing a romantic vibe into those twos lives~ ;o

and thats about it! theres also the nannasprites and tavrosprite and arquius, but they pop by so sporadically and rarely that i dont know what theyre doing a majority of the time... we lost track of gamzee after the session so hopefully hes totally gone, and we havent heard any message from caliborn in years... and with the furthest ring broken and the black hole sealed, leaving a weird white empty space right in the middle of reality, im not sure what our chances of bringing back the other trolls are :( but still, we keep living on happily over here and having our fun slice of life ending together!

id say after everything weve gone through, we deserve a big break, dont we? hehehe <3

also, particularly important events that happen and are recorded in this blog will be tagged as timeline shenanigans!

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abimee · 6 years ago

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So since you explained Chara's surface life can you tell about life Underground? Like how they adjusted and stuff.

heLL yeah, I think they really liked the underground! minor talk of suicide and depression as a warning, as it comes with the territory

I always interpreted that Chara climbed the mountain to die, but upon surviving and breaking their arm they got really scared ( because theyre, y’know, a child), and when asriel found them and brought them to his parents they basically scooped that child up and immediately tended to their injuries.

For a little bit they just kinda sat in bed and didn’t speak to any of the Dreemurrs, and when Toriel or Asgore would come into the room they’d turn away from them and not answer any questions. Toriel kept leaving food in the room for them to eat as they weren’t comfortable around them yet ( and its why Toriel leaves the food on the ground for Frisk, a habit formed). For a good week Chara did not speak to them, but they still tried to care for the child and do the best they could.

Asriel eventually got them to open up because he kept putting toys on the bed ( he had given up his bed for Chara and was sleeping with his parents to give them privacy), and he kept trying to read them books and draw them stuff. He kept putting stuffed animals on their head and scribbling them in crayon and leaving poorly written notes to them through the door, which made them warm up to him --- it wasn’t something they ever experience before, being sought out by another person, someone wanting to make friends.

Chara’s first big gesture was bringing their dish out into the kitchen once they were done eating, and everybody was very surprised to see them. Soon Asriel tried eating with them in their room, and though they still didn’t talk they allowed the presence in the room.

It took about three weeks, before Chara would speak. The Dreemurrs hadn’t told anybody about Chara yet, because they still didn’t know what they were going to do. They were partially afraid that humans were going to be coming looking for them, and was partially preparing for any sort of attack.

The first thing Chara ever said to them was their name. They actually chose Chara from one of the books that was in Asriel’s room, an astrology book that talked about a star named Chara, which in (latin? greek?) meant “Joy”.

Once Chara got a bit braver, they were made a special spot in the family; they built a bed for them in Asriel’s room, changed their clothes ( Chara ends up just borrowing one of Toriel’s shirts, which is why their shirt covers their pants and legs). Asriel began to show them around HOME and the RUINS, and when they felt like they could, they were introduced to the underground.

Within a month, they started to feel safe within the underground, and got back a bit of their energy and life; they missed a few things, like feeling the sunlight on their face or seeing the flowers in their hometown. They tried to explain what the golden flowers were like, but Asriel only thought about buttercups, which were never the same. The golden flowers made nice tea.

They liked a lot about the underground, however; how small it was, and how people treated them, and how they were able to go wherever they wanted because it was hard to get lost and there was always someone looking out for the prince and their new friend. They liked feeling snow for the first time and building their first snowman, and they liked chasing froggits in Waterfall and wading knee-deep in waters and then getting scolded for coming home wet. They liked going crystal gazing and beating Asriel with cattails, and they liked the view from the Capital.

They liked that Asriel would read books to them and set up all their stuffed animals as he did ‘’magic tricks’’ for them. They were a bit confused by the advanced technology of the Underground, as they had both the time and magical capabilities to forward their machines faster than humans, so things like camcorders and basic computers were already made. Chara saw their first video when Asriel showed them a home video they made about their oc, GOD OF HYPERDEATH. Chara had their first ever piece of chocolate when a crate was found floating in the landfill, and they salvaged them by dumping them in the snow before they were fully melted in the wrappers. Asriel taught them how to use a stove and laughed when Chara asked what an elevator was.

They weren’t used to affection, and were ashamed and embarrassed by it. They would kick and flinch when anybody tried to hug them, and didn’t know how to respond to ‘’i love you’’s or goodnight kisses for a very long time. They laughed in uncomfortable situations and smiled when they were scared, but Asriel learned to understand these things before Toriel or Asgore, whom he would scold when they’d try to hug Chara unprompted.

Eventually, Chara learned to show affection in their own way; by drawing things for them, by picking Asriel up or making funny faces. Chara also had a knack for scaring people, and would try to scare their family often by jumping from corners and hiding in dark rooms, because they thought it was funny.

Their diet grew to enjoy underground-based foods, and they grew used to sharing things with Asriel, but still had a fear of things being taken away. Their personality shifted underground from what it was above ground, to somebody a bit more reserved and sometimes distant, but Asriel really liked that about them, because they listened to him a lot and would make him laugh without even saying anything, just by their actions alone they were who they were to them. Nobody grew as close to Chara as a the Dreemurrs did, and they tried to speak Chara’s silent language back to them; friendship necklaces, baking their favorite foods, framing their photos and drawings. By a year, Chara had become a Dreemurr, and though they still struggled, and were sometimes aggressive, and had nightmares every night and would sometimes not stop crying no matter what anybody did, they were very happy underground.

Their anger was just as a part of them as everything else, too. Though they were quiet, they were easily agitated too, due to trauma. Not directed at anybody, but just an aggression bottled up inside them, that they’d take out on themself and on objects, would scribble obscene things to attempt to hurt and enrage themself, would destroy their own things to make themself upset. Their aggression was accepted just like every other part of themself, though they tried to get better coping mechanisms for Chara, like drawing happy things when they were upset or taking them on walks when they were mad so they could kick snow. They never hurt Asriel, or anybody in the underground, because their rage wasn’t because of them. Maybe sometimes they’d act rude to them when they were angry, but Chara never lifted a fist at any of them.

Altogether, they were rather happy, and content in the underground. And even when they weren’t, they still preferred being down there than being up here, ha ha

#WHAT IS THIS A BOOK FOR ANTS #long post #Anonymous

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