#how anyone can see their relationship as anything other than a tremendously complex love story is beyond me

[faithsknife]

people still think dean wasn't in love with cas. people actually believe that shit. i could line up plenty of examples, but his widower/grief arc at the beginning of s13 is one of the best. LOOK AT HIS FACE. literally the face of a man who believes the love of his life is dead

[jerzwriter]

For whichever characters you want/feel comfortable talking about 😊

6. How does your oc feel about labels? Theirs, or in general?

7. Is there something that could cause your oc to question their identity? What?

16. Did you ever change an oc's identity when they were already established? Why?

19. Do you have preferences about depicting homo/transphobia in your stories? What, and why? Does it vary by story?

The year-end asks were more complex than I expected, but I can do these. lol From this list.

Thanks for the ask, Ren! I'm going to answer for Casey and Trystan/Carolina.

6. How does your OC feel about labels? Theirs, or in general.

In general, all three aren't fond of labels. They're more likely to use the umbrella term "queer," and they just live their lives as who they are. Their identity could even be fluid, and labels could just hinder that. So overall, they're not big fans. lol But,that's their feelings for them. They know labels can help others, and they support them using them if they do. Carolina, in particular, learned that on a personal level. She knew she was bisexual as long as she could remember, but it wasn't until after college that she realized she was demiromantic. She assumed she was just "odd" and "different" from her friends and family, and that did nothing good for her on a mental/emotional level. Also, many "blamed" her "problems" on the trauma she endured when her father was murdered, so she just bought into that and assumed there was something "wrong" with her that needed fixing, then when she couldn't "fix" it, it set her back in many ways. It wasn't until she started seeing a therapist who had real knowledge of the LGBTQIA community that she realized there wasn't anything wrong with her, and this was one time giving it a name that helped her tremendously.

7. Is there something that could cause your OC to question their identity?

With Casey, she questioned her identity for quite some time. Her parents were very open-minded, but her mother's side of the family was not cool at all, and her father's was better but not great. The expectation was she'd date men, and that's what she did at first. It's no surprise that her HS relationship was with a boy who she was good friends with. They were "dating," but in reality, their relationship was really friendship. In retrospect, she realizes it just provided a place for her to "hide" as she tried to figure herself out.

Attending NYU was the first time she felt surrounded by people who understood her and encouraged her to be her true self. But it still wasn't easy as bisexuality is often not welcome, even in the LGBTQIA community. But she knew she was bi, and she never doubted that again. Outsiders cast doubt on her, and while that can be painful, she knows that she knows who she is better than anyone else, so she dismisses it.

Trystan was always accepting of his bisexuality, but he had to hide it because of his role as monarch. That caused some feelings of shame, and when he was younger, he wished he could "convince" himself to be straight, but he knew that wasn't a possibility. Being out of the monarchy was a huge relief to him in many ways, because he felt he was free to be himself.

Carolina had no issues with her bisexuality from the time she was very young. I HC that she was open with her father about this before he died, and he was supportive of her. That love and support left her very confident and assured, so she didn't think questioning/doubt was part of her vocabulary. But, as mentioned above, that wasn't the case with her being demiro. She questioned that lot, then, when she developed romantic feelings for Trystan, she questioned it again. It took some time for her to understand/accept this.

16. Did you ever change an OCs identity once they were already established? Why?

Ren. Darling. My dear friend. Do you WANT me to get more anon hate? Like - I don't get enough? lol (JK JK) .

The only person I ever changed after established was Carolina (COP) being demiro, and that's because when I looked at her character, it really made sense. But my queer characters have been queer from the start; my straight characters have been straight from the start. There is one particular straight character that, now, I'd love to change to bisexual... but I won't. Partially because the world is far too big/established, and it would take a lot for me to change it at this point. Second, it could appear to some that I was bullied into the decision, and if you know me, you know I can be a stubborn bitch, and I'm not about to have that. lol But, I think they might be bi in some future AUs. We'll see. (And that's all I have to say about that... I mean outside of DMs lol)

19. Do you have preferences about depicting homo/transphobia in your stories? What, and why? Does it vary by story?

It honestly makes me very uncomfortable to write any form of queerphobia, but I also think it's necessary. There isn't one queer person walking this earth who hasn't experienced phobia, so it would be inauthentic to never show it in my fics. However, I also don't want to focus on it. Too many people, ironically, usually straight writers writing for queer characters, tend to focus on trauma. Bruh, that's not all that we are. That's not what it's all about. And the last thing I want to do when I sit down to read is focus too heavily on that. But again, I think it would be wrong to avoid it completely.

Now, here's the irony. When I've dealt with some issues of biphobia in my fics, it has been difficult for me at times, but in reality, it's been very cathartic. I've gotten that feedback from some readers as well. So I think it can be good to depict, but it has to be done thoughtfully.

Thanks for the asks, Ren! :)

[thetypedwriter]

Mister Impossible Book Review

Mister Impossible by Maggie Steifvater Book Review 

Maggie Steifvater is one of the reasons I love reading so much. Her prose, her writing style, her way with words-all of it is so beautiful and whimsical and just mind boggling. 

I don’t know a better way to explain any of her writing other than it comes across as both fantastical, amazing, and just...awe-inspiring. 

Her words make me want to write, they make me want to dream, they make me weep. 

They just make me feel things, she makes me feel things and isn’t that why we read these stories in the first place? To feel moved? To be inspired?

This happens to me every time I read a Maggie Steifvater masterpiece (with one notable exception of All the Crooked Saints) and Mister Impossible is no exception. 

As an avid lover of The Raven Cycle and Call Down the Hawk, myself and many others eagerly anticipated this book for months. 

Is this because we’re all Pynch trash? Yes, probably. 

Is it also because of Maggie’s stellar writing, chaotic storytelling, ambitious themes, hard-hitting words, and complex characters? All of that too. 

I gave myself a good, hearty chuckle by looking through the Goodreads reviews of this book as most of them include a bumbling intro of where to even begin, what to say, and how to even describe this next installment of the Brothers Lynch. 

To be honest, I’m in the same boat. 

This book simultaneously had so much going on and yet...nothing of huge consequence externally happened. I do think this book was mainly character driven, and within that, internally driven. 

Most of the action, development, and plot happens within the character's minds, feelings, and interpersonal relationships. As someone who really enjoys this style of narrative, I wasn’t bothered in the least and I found this to be a really compelling next portion of the Dreamer trilogy. For someone who likes more action and drama, this book might have been more of a bog for you. 

I’ve also seen quite a lot of people talk about how disappointed they are in the lack of Adam representation and while normally I would be picking up my protest sign to join the leagues of Pynch fangirls, I was actually quite content with where this book took us as readers and the journey that Ronan and the other characters are going through. 

As Maggie said at the beginning, this is a book about the Lynch brothers, not a Ronan/Adam fanficiton manifesto come to life. I’m okay with waiting. I’m okay with the journey and I think Ronan and Adam and the others need it more than they need snuggles and kisses and fluff, no matter how much the fans might want it. 

That being said, I’ve said a lot about this book without actually saying anything. 

To put it succinctly, this novel covers Ronan’s new adventures with Bryde and Hennessy on trying to rescue ley lines and specifically one ley line in particular known as Ilidorin, Declan and Jordan’s burgeoning romance and lives in Washington D.C. as art connoisseurs, criminals, and lovers, Matthew’s teenage crisis about being a dream and what that entails, and Farooq-Lane and Lilliana coming to terms with leaving the Moderators and guilt of their previous actions. 

Can I say more? Oh absolutely, but I don’t think anyone wants to hear me ramble on for twenty more pages about the minute details of how Ronan’s inner monologues go so I will leave this brief summary as it is. 

I really found myself falling in love with both Declan and Jordan in this book. While Matthew I found to be really interesting and kind of sad to see go through this bout of teenage rebellion and purpose, to see Ronan struggle with his loneliness and his power, and to see Hennessy come to terms with her destructive tendencies, but being unable to stop herself, it was Declan and Jordan who were the true draw for me for most of the novel. 

I found their relationship to be so interesting and lovely. Their love for art, their respect for each other, their drive for ambition and independence. The part that struck me was where Declan talked about how Jordan was the first person in his life he didn’t have to coddle, or protect, or take care of. She was just his equal and that hit me so hard. 

Reading about them and Declan matter of factly saying they’ll get married had me squealing. It was especially needed as Ronan was out being a wanderer and Hennessy’s self loathing was both poignantly and heart-breakingly present. 

A part of this as well was previously seeing Declan as a villain, but Maggie did a superb job of showing everyone’s perspectives in this book and not any one character was right or wrong, but instead all of them had nuanced opinions and goals with understandable motives and desires. 

As a whole, all of the characters witnessed a lot of growth in this installment and while this book definitely came across as a second book in a trilogy with lots of set-up and anticipation, I’m once again okay with waiting for the finale as I know Maggie will deliver. 

I’m here for the long journey and this book was such a pleasant dream to meander through that I can say nothing more about how tremendous I think the writing was and how complex and varied the characters came across. 

I’m already anxiously longing for book three, as I already know it’ll be as breathtaking and bewildering as all of Maggie’s creations are. 

Recommendation: If you haven’t read The Raven Cycle you need to read it. If you haven’t read Call Down the Hawk then you also need to read that. That’s it, that’s the whole recommendation, people. You won’t regret it. 

Score: 8/10

[jerrylevitch]

Do you think or know whether Jerry ever regretted all of the affairs and sleeping around? Or if he looked back on it differently later on? I know he'd talked about it kind of jokingly, which i'm sure was a default/defense mechanism. I also get all the factors that contributed to that behavior so I don't really judge him for it, and he wasn't the only one doing it by any means...I was just wondering if you had a take on it or knew anything. Still love him, that horny little bugger lol ;)

He did feel guilty and for awhile, and he tried to be faithful to Patti in his own mind by not finishing inside the woman he was with. According to Jane McCormick:

"Jerry was almost bashful when it came to having sex, but he thoroughly enjoyed it. Still, he had a quirky way of dealing with his loyalty to his wife. He would not climax inside me, no matter what kind of sex we had."

Of course you'll see Jerry boasting about his sexual escapades and other crap like he didn't care when he was older like on E True Hollywood Story or Playboy, and GQ Magazine, but I always go back to this passage that Jerry wrote to himself and consider this the truth, because here he didn't have to put on a show for anyone, or try to look macho by saying he had all these women.

From Patti Lewis' book:

“Jerry was a master at candidly acting out personal vignettes about three areas of real life: relationships, situations, and predicaments. They form the backbone of his comedy. He nurtured many relationships and wrote volumes on how he felt. I tried to understand what he was saying, beyond the words, when I read the notes he sent me; the “I luv you’s” written across my makeup mirror at home; and the longer messages I found on my desk.” ”At times I found him five parts philosopher, one part humanist, ten parts deep thinker, one part spiritual, fifty parts comedian, twelve parts unpredictability, and twenty-one parts everything else. In 1966, one late summer afternoon, I found the following and took it to the garden to read:”

”To ask how deeply I feel is like asking, ‘Where is God?’” ”We can answer with nothing more than “if’s” and “maybe’s.” “In other words, the answers are really intangibles, yet I’m going to attempt to answer one of them to the best of my knowledge and awareness.

My feelings, where my wife is concerned, are very deep and very sacred…She is the very reason I live…for she is the only reason I know that makes living worth anything…and the boys that she produced for me are equally worth it, but one day they’ll leave and then there will be only us…

She is the first human thing that has ever cared about me or for me…Oh, there were little dogs, and little boys and a few beings that cared, but not enough that I could have survived.

It was only when she came into my life that I realized I had a life to live…I was always made to feel that I was given a case of breath out of pity…It was as though someone said, “We have plenty, give him some.” Then I knew I had to make good and be someone, or something a little better than those that gave me an occasional handout… As I got older, I didn’t much care about being better than them anymore…I just cared about staying alive and getting some degree of respect as a human thing on God’s Earth…I knew he didn’t mean to have anyone just exist…but he meant fur us all to have a meaning and a purpose. I have to try to get my thoughts put in the proper place so I can put things down that really count! Now then, if my wife was the first to care and to really treat me like a human being with love and warmth and the like…the big question is, “How could I have treated this special being as I have?” My answer that I find coming is… After so many years of being made to feel like nothing…I guess I worked on being something so much more than nothing…that I found myself making the real somethings around me nothing in the haste that drove me to be something…The responsibility of taking care of the loves I had always had made me feel like, “Why should I care for what one day will discard me anyway?” I don’t know if that’s the case, but it sounds right…and coming from someone who loves those tremendous loves as I do, it certainly confuses me, too… My constant silence, I think, has been fear…of what my love would think of what I’ve done…fear of doing the wrong thing…and losing the respect I have always felt I got from her…to be placed in the position of being disrespected and disregarded again has always knotted up my insides so badly that silence seemed the only way to avoid the possibility of rejection…very often my hiding was part and parcel of that fear…The feeling of being nothing again, or being looked at with disdain, has, for as long as I can remember, been tearing me up inside…And those tears have come out looking like torment…Well, tormented I am, and have been, and pray one day soon I won’t know the feeling anymore… My wrapping myself up so completely in my work helped for a while, but the “ego” that came across was never there…I have none. But I work desperately at displaying “ego” to cover the real emptiness I know inside… As a director I have found infinite peace…because I am to so many…an authority, a man who knows, and not someone who is treated with “pity” or “charity”…That’s the biggest reason for the love of creativity I have, for a man is free when he is creating. Not just creating “funny” by way of the mask I wear, but by making others the puppets…and making them stand out front for a change…The feeling of “behind the camera” feels safe, and warm, and special, and certain…”Out front” has been very hard and trying for me…and for the first time in my life I think I can honestly admit…I hated doing it and I still do…The happiness that seemed to appear from standing “in one” was nothing more than getting a general acceptance from a lot of people who care at the moment….But “at the moment” isn’t enough for me anymore… I need all the care I can get all the time…and I only seem to be able to get that from my love, my wife… I don’t ever want to appear “indifferent” to my wife…but that appearance, too, I think is just hoping not to be a burden and an annoyance to her...I just can’t remember ever being anything but an annoyance…and when I’m told I’m not, I can’t seem to recognize that is possibly the case. I don’t like to hide and run…I want to be free to go and do as any other man does… I know I need help…but I really believe the help will come from within…as soon as I can place things in their right positions… Admitting to “hating performing” might help me adjust sooner…Admitting the love I have for writing and direction will, I’m sure, take me out of the depths of my depression…and will ultimately take me into the realm of peace and contentment. I want to talk more, I want to communicate more…I want

to say so much, and get help from her, I want so much to scream the things that tug away at my heart and my soul…And when I try, the hurt is so strong, and deep, and festered that I clam up, and the relief I want doesn’t come… Now to bury that grief…I find someone who has equally as much or more than I so that I can be the helping hand…For if I can help, then my hurts can’t be so bad…How much trouble can I have, if I’m listening to someone else’s? And for years I made that a practice…to give of myself only to forget I needed more giving than anyone… I don’t think I have always been aware of that fact…I really wanted to share and give and be charitable…but there’s that word again…charitable…I should have known better. For “charity” was the one thing that started my life wrong.. I wasn’t entitled to charity by those people when I was so very young…I was entitled to all the love and care all little lives should get…But how long did I have to wait to realize “charity” shouldn’t deal with the ones we love…They should only get the real “love” and nothing more…and give “charity” to strangers in need…Period! (And they should be picked carefully!) I’m trying to feel “God” in me and maybe with his help we can push out the torment…and place the “alive” of a being, back where it was taken from… With it all I am a very lucky man…to have found the real, right, and perfect human being to spend my years with. I want so much to do the right thing to keep her straight and happy and healthy… When she is ill, the reaction to it isn’t any different than when the spike is forced into the vampire’s heart…it’s the only emotional thing that can kill me, and that’s when she hurts…or when I’ve caused her pain…but my intentions are never to hurt her, never to do her a moment’s pain…Never to create a frown on her lovely face…Why those things happen are a complexity to us both…And I will serve myself from here on in as a student of care and concern and caution as to how she gets treated and how I allow much of my feelings to affect her… I can only answer “God” honestly, and he knows my worth and my intentions, I have no fear of his wrath…for I know he knows I’m basically good, and fine, and honorable when it comes to my love and my soul for her… I have no guilt about what I have done thru my blindness…I only have guilt for the things I might have avoided doing…If I had just put…”First things first.” I will try! And “God” knows my heart is talking, not the typewriter.”

[linkspooky]

Annie Runs Away (Again).

Annie has suddenly decided she’s a pacifist. Annie is leaving on a journey of self discovery. Perfect timing. You take all the time you need. It’s not like the world’s ending or anything. 

Just kidding. Annie’s not actually acting any different than she usually acts. I’ve said this before, but Annie and Armin are characters who continually exhibit regression rather than development. If you remain the same person more or less throughout the story, that’s not suddenly going to change without impetus. You’re always just the same person, even at the end of the world. 

An analysis on Annie and Armin’s failings under the cut. How they parallel Eremika, and why they can’t get close. 

1. But That’s None of My Business

Let’s bring out my handy dandy Want / Need chart again. 

Want

: something your character desires, because they believe it’ll improve their happiness.

Need

: the lesson they need to learn to overcome their inner struggle and achieve true happiness.

Annie has run away again and again throughout her entire arc. 

Annie’s a survivalist. Her own life comes before anybody else’s. When the chips are down, Annie will always choose to run away and protect herself. When things get hard her response is essentially to find some way to escape, and insist that the ongoing conflcit has nothing to do with her therefore there’s no reason for her to be personally invested. 

The entire tunnel scene is symbolic for this. All Annie had to do was make a choice to confront what she had done. She had to choose to walk into a situation that would be unsafe and even potentially compromise her. 

There was a chance, but Annie can’t even walk into a situation where she’s potentially unsafe. She can’t handle any confrontation. Annie, who is capable fo turning into the female titan, and easily can beat up men twice her size, and yet ultimately that physical strength means nothing because Annie is a self serving coward. 

We know the reason why Annie is like this. It is a pretty good reason. Her father told her that the most important thing above all else was her own survival. Annie was raised like a child soldier, to her all she has is her strength, and her promise to reunite with her father. If one fails, if she’s not strong enough to fight her way out of a situation she falls back to the other and runs. That’s why Annie as a person is both strong, and incredibly weak, she can’t even stand the slightest confrontation. 

Annie says she doesn’t care about being a good person, but she also gets tripped up and coerced by Armin’s words that he’ll think less of her. Annie says she will kill anyone on this island to survive, but she fails just because she spared Armin. Annie is wavering back and forth. She’s contradicting herself constantly, and that’s because Annie doesn’t want to think about who she is or what she wants. Her entire identity is found in running away, and running back to her father, and Annie never tries to be a person outside of that. 

What do you call soemone who blindly follows what their parents told them to do, and is unable to make decisions of their own outside of listening to their parents? 

A child.

The words of Annie’s father have kept her alive until this point, that’s true. However, treating the whole world as her enemy, as something to run away from, has stopped her from connecting to another person and giving her what she needs to grow up. You don’t grow and learn by doing the same thing over and over again. The same ideas that let her survive are now holding her back. 

What Annie thinks she wants is to be left all alone. She gets exactly that when she’s crystallized, and it only makes her worse. She is protected from everyone, nobody is able to harm her, she doesn’t have to interact with anyone and she becomes completely helpless. 

Annie’s path forward relies on confronting the people she’s been avoiding. However, Annie has only ever known avoidance. 

What Annie thinks, is that she doesn’t have to care about other people. However, she contradicts herself because Annie clearly does care. If she didn’t care she wouldn’t have spared Armin. If she didn’t care she wouldn’t let Armin’s condemnation of her actions get to her. It’s not that Annie is a good or bad person, it’s that Annie doesn’t even want to think about if her actions are right or wrong, she doens’t want to have any kind of confrontation at all so she runs away. 

Annie’s arc has always come about by her realization that there are other people who exist besides her in the world, and who have other wants and needs outside of her. If Annie was truly capable of living alone she would have just stayed in the crystal after all this time, but she obviously hated that. 

The only way Annie can move forward is if she gets closer to other people, but she can’t do that if she’s running away from them. I’ve said this again and again, the micro informs the macro. Characters decisions on a micro-level  have greater consequences in story. Annie is not able to rise to the occasion, because of her personal weaknesses, namely that she can’t be close to other people.

Once again we have Annie insisting that she just doesn’t have anything to do with this. Annie is someone who is perfectly capable of fighting, and strong in some ways but weak in others. Any time she has to confront something, she always chooses to avoid instead and runs away. It’s not because she can’t do anything, but it’s because she doesn’t want to have to face the conflict. 

Annie will always try to run away and be by herself because that’s what she thinks she wants, when what she needs to do is grow up and learn to be her own person outside of her father’s words for her. Like. She even says she wants to die peacefully. As if she’s accepted death rather than trying to struggle to live. Which is why she even physically runs away from Armin, the one person whose closest to her. 

Armin is the one person who has consistently challenged her to be a good person. As long as she’s far away from Armin, Annie doesn’t even need to think about whether her actions are good or bad. However, being quiet and being at peace is just what Annie thinks what she wants because if that was really the end result of her arc she could have just stayed in the crystal forever. 

2. EreMika Parallels

Armin and Annie mean a lot to each other. Armin is Annie’s connection to her own humanity. Annie saved Armin once and because of that her life has been forever changed since that moment. Armin is the person who looks up to Annie, and sees the best in her and even challenges her to be a better person than she was previously. Armin sees Annie better than Annie even sees herself. Does this sound familiar? it’s like a parallel. It’s intentional. 

Mikasa has always seen the good in Eren. She’s seen the kind little boy who wrapped a scarf around her on a cold day, and gave her the strength to fight. Eren is always stopped and hesitates when confronted with the memory of the scarf because Mikasa represents his connection to other people. It’s his memories of  Mikasa who always opposes him when Eren insists he’s a terrible person that’s going to destroy the world. 

Mikasa sees the good in Eren. However, their relationship is a complex one. Mikasa has, time and time again, enabled the bad in Eren because she has difficulty looking at the whole picture. 

Mikasa has enabled Eren’s bad tendencies. This is because Mikasa is so codependent on Eren, and so paralyzed by the idea of losing him she’s too afraid to confront him. Annie and Mikasa are both characters who despite their tremendous strength, they can’t seem to whether the simplest interpersonal confrontation. 

Mikasa and Eren have both at some point in the story saved each other. Eren saved Mikasa from the kidnappers. Mikasa told Eren that he was accepted and loved at his lowest point when confronted with the Dinah Titan again, and he promised to wrap the scarf around Mikasa again.

However, they also both have the tendency to ruin each other because Mikasa enables Eren’s worst qualities. She could push Eren to be better, but she’s too fixated on the idea of Eren rather than confronting who Eren really is as a person that she’s unable to do anything to stop Eren until it’s far too late. 

Armin and Annie are too people who could just like Eren and Mikasa, challenge each other to be better people. Eren’s flaw is his independence, Mikasa’s flaw is his codependence. It’s gender reversed in Aruannie, Armin’s flaw is his codependence and Annie’s flaw is her independence. 

The problem with Annie and Armin is ultimately they both tend to be very cowardly people. When they interact they have the potential to make each other braver, or they can run away from each other. 

Let me elaborate quickly on Armin. If Annie’s tendency is to always do what she wants, then Armins’ tendency is to always try to do what other people want. That’s not as selfless as it sounds though because, Armin wants to put all of his decisions on other people. 

Think about the conflict with Connie. If Armin had just told Connie no, or asserted himself as a leader, he could have just avoided Connie kidnapping Falco all together. 

Armin doesn’t want to make choices though. Armin will do anything to put the choice on other people. He physically put the choice on Connie, by just throwing himself into a suicide and forcing Connie to decide to save him. 

Armin believes that he himself is insufficient. There’s a theory going around that Armin is the main character of the story, but even if that is true: Armin does not want to be the main character. Armin will do anything to avoid being the main character of his own life. Part of the reason Armin puts Eren on such a pedestal is because if he treats Eren like the main character, then Armin himself is spared from making a decision. 

Annie doesn’t want to think about other people. Armin spends so much time thinking about other people that his own will gets lost time and time again. Eren continually putting responsibility on others and relying on others around him when everyone needs him to take responsibility and step up is his own version of running away. 

If part of the reason that things got this bad, was the total failure of leadership. Everyone acting powerless. Floch even says humanity needs a devil to lead it immediately after he creates the situation that kills Hange, and puts Armin in charge once more. 

If Annie’s first instinct is to always run away to protect her own life. Armin’s first instinct is to always throw himself away in some kind of suicide plan. However, this creates far more dififculties than it actually solves. Reiner even yells this at him, how would it help for Armin to throw his life away in a sacrifice at this moment to buy time if he was there best chance against Eren.

Floch believes that humanity needs a demon to lead them. This is an idea that’s been built up since the death of Erwin. It’s not Eren who is the demon however, it’s Armin. 

However, just as Annie consistently runs away when she’s cornererd. Whenever Armin has to act responsible for other people he always reacts by saying he couldn’t possibly live up to Erwin’s legacy. But that’s just the same behavior. That’s just running away. Annie values herself too highly over other people. Armin sees himself as expendable and much lower priority therefore refuses to step up to any responsibility placed on his shoulders, or make decisions he can put off onto other people. It’s different motivations but the same behavior, consistently running away from each other.

This is something they both do, and they can either confront this behavior in one another or they can run away from it. 

If Armin had challenged her to stay and fight Annie probably would have stayed. he didn’t so she didn’t. Armin calls himself a bad person who has killed comrades, but he doens’t really want to make the decisions that Erwin made and so he avoids that. 

In order to get closer, Annie and Armin would both have to confront themselves and admit things about themselves they don’t really want to think about. Which is why Annie runs away, and Armin lets her. Annie could challenge Armin to be better and call him out, but Armin doesn’t really want that fight right now. It’s something they would have to work on in order to be closer. How can you expect two people to be close, if they are continually running away from each other?

AruAnnie, and EreMika are two completementary sets of people with similiar flaws that could help each other or ruin each other, and right now we’re seeing the regression and not the development. 

[gwendolynnderolo]

my thoughts on the lawsuit arc: my 911 hot take of the day

i know the lawsuit arc is one of the most controversial storylines in all of 911 and everyone has wildly different opinions on it so i’m here to offer my take on it. this is just my opinion and how i view the characters so enjoy!

first of all, i feel like a lot of times if people love a character they get mad when the character does something they don’t agree with or that they think is wrong or selfish or harmful. and while it can be very hard to see a character that you love do things that aren’t good, that’s what makes a character interesting. if a character was perfect and never did anything wrong, they would be incredibly boring and one-dimensional. but instead of looking critically at character choices and analyzing their motivations and accepting that they’re a flawed character with complex emotions they often just get angry and say that a storyline was dumb or didn’t make sense because it didn’t fit with their view of the character.

this is what i’ve seen a lot of people do with buck, bobby, and the lawsuit arc. they say that both of them acted recklessly and impulsively and handled the situation terribly, and i’m here to say: yes, they did, and that’s the entire point.

the entire lawsuit arc revolves around all of these characters making all the wrong decisions, but with very valid and understandable motivations behind those decisions. neither of them acted like their best selves because they weren’t being their best selves. they weren’t acting out of logic, they were acting out of raw emotion and that led them to make stupid decisions that caused a lot of pain. and that’s a good thing. (for the story, not for the characters obviously)

let’s first look at bobby, who arguably was the catalyst for this whole situation (technically it was the truck bombing, but i’m talking season 3). the end of season 2 sees bobby being forced to deal with his traumatic past and relive the deaths of his wife and children and all of the people in that apartment building that he felt responsible for. he has his title and job stripped away, he’s taken away from the thing that provides him with healthy coping mechanisms, and then he’s forced to watch from the sidelines while the man he thinks of as a son is trapped under a ladder truck that was intended to kill bobby.

obviously bobby gets his job back, buck survives, and everything’s relatively okay at the end of season 2, but bobby still has that guilt on top of the guilt he’s been dealing with for years over his wife and kids. beginning of season 3, bobby is tentatively ready to welcome buck back, and then he watches buck almost die in front of him (again) and, understandably, panics. he tells buck he’s not ready to come back and buck lashes out and quits.

bobby watches buck almost die yet again during the tsunami, which he almost certainly blamed himself for, feeling that if he had let buck come back to work, buck wouldn’t have gotten caught in the tsunami.

buck obviously comes around and takes the fire marshal job, which bobby viewed as a way to let buck do what he wants while still protecting him. bobby blames himself for everything that’s happened to buck in the past six months, so of course he’s going to do everything he can to keep buck safe.

so, bobby lied to him and kept him from doing what he loved, because he didn’t know another way to keep buck safe. the concerns bobby raises even outside of his personal investment are very valid: buck is on blood thinners, which would make it significantly more dangerous for buck to be on a call. bobby already worries about buck constantly and this would only add another level to that, and he has an entire team to look out for.

and the most important thing: bobby blames himself for everything that’s happened to buck. if he allowed buck to come back and buck got hurt, bobby would blame himself. bobby has already lost so much and still blames himself, and he doesn’t think he can handle another loss like the one he’s already suffered. his actions come from a place of love and concern for buck and his safety.

and now for buck. i relate a lot to buck so there might be a bit of projecting in here but i’ll do my best to keep it impartial. to start off: what buck did was stupid, impulsive, selfish, and ended up hurting everyone he cared about. but it also makes complete sense when you look at it from his point of view.

as viewers of the show, we see the complete picture. we see every point of view, all of the thought processes behind character decisions, so it’s much easier for us to judge characters for their decisions. but we have to remember: buck did not have the full story. buck couldn’t see into bobby’s head and understand that this was coming from a place of love and a desire to protect.

all buck saw was the people he cared about abandoning him and thinking he wasn’t capable enough to do his job. this wasn’t at all what happened, but from his point of view that’s what it seemed like. and when you look at the situation from buck’s point of view, this starts to make a lot of sense.

end of season 2, buck gets crushed by a ladder truck and nearly dies. in an instant, his job, his normal life, and everything he cares about is ripped away from him. his girlfriend breaks up with him (not blaming ali, she had her reasons) which was just another person that left him, so he feels completely and utterly alone.

in the 5 months between season 2 and season 3, buck worked tirelessly to get better and get to the point where he could get back to being a firefighter, which he views as his entire life and the only thing that gives him purpose. he finally gets to where he can come back, and it’s all ripped away from him again when he nearly dies (again). after the blood clot, bobby tells him that the higher ups don’t think he should come back yet because of the blood thinners. buck is still in a very emotionally raw state, so he quits.

buck is understandably miserable after this, he feels like his life has no purpose and he’s unable to do what he loves. and then: the tsunami. buck nearly dies (AGAIN) and also almost loses christopher, who he basically views as a son. buck feels like he’s failed eddie but eddie reassures him that he trusts him completely.

and now we get to the primary conflict between bobby and buck’s respective motivations. bobby’s decisions, at their core, were out of guilt. he felt responsible for buck being injured, so he did everything he could to try to make up for that and keep buck from being injured.

buck’s motivations, on the other hand, revolved around trust. he always felt like he could trust bobby and the 118 completely, and saw them as family, especially bobby. buck thought that bobby was on his side, that he wanted buck to come back as much as buck did. when he finds out that bobby is the reason buck can’t come back, he feels betrayed. he sees the decision as an indication that bobby doesn’t trust him, and that he didn’t trust him enough to tell him what was really going on.

another important thing: buck had every reason to believe that the rest of the 118 knew what bobby was doing and were also lying to buck. the only person who knew was athena, but buck had no way of knowing that. buck himself says that the 118 tells each other everything, so why wouldn’t he assume that hen and chimney and eddie all knew and also chose not to tell him?

in buck’s eyes, his entire support system (excluding maddie) is ripped away from him at once. the 118, his family, doesn’t trust him, they lied to him, and they replaced him. obviously none of this is true, but from buck’s point of view, it makes complete sense.

this also makes eddie’s conversation with buck after the tsunami take on a whole new meaning. buck’s best friend looked into his eyes and assured him that he trusted him more than anyone in the world, and now buck thinks that eddie has been lying to his face. if bobby can lie to him and eddie can lie to him, then he can’t trust anything he thought he could.

so, buck goes for the nuclear option. he doesn’t feel like he has any other choice because he doesn’t feel like he even has anyone in his life that he can depend on right now. without his family, his friends, and his job he has nothing, so he grabs the first opportunity he sees to get that back.

was it a good decision? absolutely not. did it end up hurting everyone he cares about and nearly costing him everything? yes. was it stupid and impulsive and selfish and a whole bunch of other bad things? also yes.

but that is why it makes sense. it’s a very human decision borne from very complex, human emotions, and so is bobby’s decision. these characters are deeply flawed and complex and sometimes do impulsive and selfish things and that’s what makes them interesting.

the lawsuit arc is a perfect example of two people who deeply care about each other making all the wrong choices in an attempt to protect themselves and the people they care about. and that is why i think it is an incredibly well executed storyline that added tremendous depth to both buck and bobby’s respective characters and their relationship.

hope you enjoyed my ridiculously long post of the day! let me know if you want to hear my thoughts on any other storylines because i spend a ridiculous amount of time thinking about this show.

[t100ficrecsblog]

three thoughts about raven reyes (& 1 thought about Murven endgame)

ONE

I loved Raven Reyes from the millisecond she showed up on screen. I started watching from the very first episode of t100 but I got truly invested once she showed up and that has never changed. She’s so complicated but at the same time her motivations are simple to figure out if you consider her past and what it was like for her to grow up on the Ark. This might get me some shade but I don’t think a lot of fandom understands Raven at all, and that makes me sad (and also angry lbr). She’s one of the most forgiving characters on this show, she wears her heart on her sleeve and you never have to guess where you stand with her. Raven can be tremendously kind and understanding but she can also tear you down and make you feel small if she disagrees with your choices. I happen to think this is one of her strengths. She deserves so much happiness even though she thinks she doesn’t. It’s not even remotely a stretch to say that she may very well be my favorite character of all time. -JENN

A beautiful, iconic genius. I love how from her introduction, there’s no problem she can’t handle or won’t approach. She’s Raven Reyes and she’s a badass with an amazing mind. Yes, she faces challenges, as all these characters face, but she has such a tenacity when it comes to approaching them which I really love. I think it’s been so great to see this character, played by such a great actress, during the years of t100. -RYN

i find she’s often overlooked for how much representation she brings to the show. she’s not necessarily underrated, but just not appreciated enough for how much she can mean to people. raven reyes is a woman in stem, a woman of colour, and a woman with a disability. on top of that, she is so kickass and kind and funny and beautiful and strong - she isn’t reduced to tokenism, she is an integral part of the show. i love raven reyes and lindsey morgan for the comfort and inspiration they give so many people. -ELLE

TWO

Her strength is something that I think is both one of the most powerful and interesting parts of her character. Her season four arc really broke my heart, in the best way since I love pain, but I absolutely loved that she chose to live. That she fought back against every odd and said “screw that” and powered on. She does struggle, yes, she feels pain and experiences loss and everything else that all the characters face, which I think is important, to show that she isn’t unbreakable. She also confronts those struggles by continuing forward though, and doing what she can for herself and her people. -RYN

despite what canon says, i think that she has always been morally gray in her actions. she took extreme actions against grounders in season one. she wanted to turn murphy over to the grounders in season two. she was pretty complacent in the nightblood experiments in season four. she helped with the flame in season five. in season seven, she wants murphy and emori to keep up the prime act. she’s complex and contradictory and realistic and human. -ELLE

For Raven, family is everything and once she counts you as hers, she’s not letting go without a fight. She felt this way about Finn, which I hated at first, but I have come to appreciate their relationship more and respect her feelings for him as her family even after what he did. She’s willing to do anything for her family, including stay behind alone in space, facing likely death like when it meant getting Spacekru back to Earth safely. We see the devastation she takes on when she loses family and how it haunts her and also influences her actions. This outlook is still going strong in s7 when she fights to bring Echo back to herself and throws being a family in Bellamy’s face when she feels that he has betrayed them. I don’t think anything motivates Raven more than family. -JENN

THREE

Thinking about regrets I’ll have that we likely won’t see for Raven, I think it’s particularly traumatic that Finn, Sinclair and Abby all died right in front of her while she could do absolutely nothing about it. All three were her family and I think the helplessness & guilt that she felt regarding their deaths (and to an extent Monty & Harper too, based on what she says after learning of their deaths) really plays a big role on who she has become over the seasons. I wish canon took a deeper look into that but I do think Lindsey does a particularly good job at showing devastated emotions (sob) so at least I got that. I am truly turning myself into a pretzel to cross my entire body that Raven gets her happy ending, but I will add the caveat that it better make sense for her & not be some bs last-minute move that ruins her character either. -JENN

We love color symbolism!! I love Raven’s red jacket and the repeated red symbolism we get for her. Not just because, of course, it ties with Murphy’s symbolism as well (I see you red jacket patch, I see you), but also because I think it shows her character so well. I enjoyed it so much when they brought the jacket, or one like it, back this season, and think it shows how all the character arcs, but specifically hers, are circling back and connecting them to who they were in season one to who they are now. Hopefully, this circling will include satisfying conclusions for her and the others. -RYN

raven reyes is the only one who should be allowed to call murphy a cockroach. with anyone else, it bothers me, but with (the) raven, it’s fine. i think that’s just because of the development they’ve have. it was a title born out of hatred, but it has since evolved into an inside joke for the pair, and it’s even a bit of a mantra. i know a lot of people disliked the “go be a cockroach” line in season seven, but to me i think it was her way of saying (in a high stress situation) “i need you to survive, like you always do” á la season four’s “go. survive” and “that’s what cockroaches do, right?” lines. every cockroach needs a raven. -ELLE

what’s your ideal ending for Murven?

I feel like there’s two viewpoints I’m torn between - what I want to happen vs. what’s appropriate for the story. IMHO the ending for them that’s appropriate for the story is that they die together. It’s a huge part of their dynamic that canon has set up since early s2. If the show does it well, showing that Raven & Murphy actively choose not to leave each other or it’s a scenario where it’s inevitable and they sort of peacefully accept it and perhaps do something heroic at the end, then as sad as I’d be, I’d also probably love it and would completely accept it. And then I’d write reincarnation fic or something, LOL! But what I want to happen - oh well, in that case - I’d like them both to survive and have maybe a hint or two that the option of them being together is there. Personally I don’t need them to be romantic canon in the end if we can at least leave the ending up to interpretation but I would sell my soul for them to kiss onscreen at least once. I don’t care how or why just let me have it!! -jenn

a quiet life in sanctum. i think after all the danger and pain they’ve experienced, they deserve a nice peaceful life. my ideal would be them being together, living in a cute little cottage style house. raven would take over the machine shop, getting to tinker around all day. murphy would work at the bar/kitchen, getting to chat and joke around with people all day. they would come home and talk about their days or hang out with their friends, never without some playful teasing, and then they would fall asleep together - peaceful and happy. -elle

Okay, this is more than simply just sad, but my ideal goal is a final, important moment between them. I have been theorizing and predicting a possible Murphy death since really the season started, and I’m scared to admit I feel like it is heading there. So, while I think it’s gonna break my damn heart, I want Murphy to have a true hero’s death (if he does have to die which I am not down with or excited about but what I feel is indeed coming) and a final important moment with Raven, who I feel with pretty intense certainty will live and (hopefully) lead a very full and happy life. It’s not a perfect ending, or the ending I would’ve written for them, but this is where my ideal meets my acknowledgement of canon meets haha. -ryn

it was an absolute delight to interview these three Murven writers! you can find ryn @animmortalist on Tumblr, or here on AO3. you can find elle @hopskipawayon Tumblr, or here on AO3. you can find jenn @easilydistractedbyfanfic on Tumblr, or here on AO3. all three of them are working with @t100fic-for-blm, request a fic written by them there. <3

[aion-rsa]

How The Mandalorian Gave Fans a Different Kind of Star Wars Story

https://ift.tt/2Miy7FO

This Star Wars: The Mandalorian article contains spoilers.

Technically, Disney+’s The Mandalorian is part of the biggest franchise on earth. But it doesn’t always feel that way.

True, it’s a Star Wars property, and it rarely lets you forget that fact. The show is rife with references to the films and animated series that have come before it and it enjoys padding out existing lore in ways that only the most hardcore of fans will care about—or possibly even notice. (Did you remember there was a krayt dragon skeleton in A New Hope? Be honest.)

The Mandalorian isn’t a story that requires a tremendous amount of Star Wars knowledge to follow or enjoy. And that’s because its central tale is one that follows rules and patterns we’ve all seen before. A mix of tropes from classic spaghetti westerns and samurai adventures, the show offers a broad look at life on the edge of the galaxy that exists well beyond the world of Jedi Knights, Sith warriors, and space princesses. And its tale of a lone bounty hunter and the supercute Force-wielding toddler he is charged with protecting is proof positive that there is space for every kind of story in this franchise. (As well as every kind of fan.)

Stream your Star Wars favorites right here!

In a universe that has become increasingly dense and self-contained, The Mandalorian still manages to feel like a breath of fresh air. Sure, its second season finale includes a surprise appearance by Luke Skywalker, because no property in this universe can apparently escape that family and their seemingly never-ending daddy issues, but the Disney+ series doesn’t seem concerned with him as anything other than a vehicle to further the story of Din Djarin, a good man who is trying to do right – by his faith, by his people, by the tiny creature whose life has suddenly become intertwined with his own.

Though the eponymous Mandalorian has run across a bevy of characters that have made longtime fans shriek with delight (Boba Fett, Bo-Katan, Ahsoka Tano, Luke himself), and the series ties in rather neatly with other franchise properties like The Clone Wars and Rebels, it still understands that its greatest strengths stem from its smaller stakes, more realistic worldbuilding, and the emotional connection between two vastly different creatures.

The Mandalorian isn’t an epic adventure, a space opera about the future of the galaxy as we understand it, or a tragedy about a single family’s apparent inability to keep from making the same mistakes from one generation to the next. It’s a story that’s deliberately limited in its scope and modest in its ambitions and, at the end of the day, the show itself is all the stronger for these choices. 

In comparison to other Star Wars properties, The Mandalorian’s story is almost painfully straightforward, if perhaps a little bit darker in places than we’re maybe used to in this universe thus far. Set in the galaxy’s Outer Rim following the fall of the Galactic Empire, it generally deals with characters – including its own lead – who are not terribly complicated people. Their lives are simpler, rougher, and more focused on the everyday challenges of living than the Jedi and characters like them that populate the films. 

Even the Mandalorian himself is simultaneously an avatar and a real person, and we get to know him as much through his struggles as his successes. He is, after all, the most reluctant of saviors. Yet, as many lone warriors before him, he is also a man with a code, and he holds tight to it, even in the lawless outskirts of the galaxy. 

Occasionally Mando will have to rescue someone or must join forces with an uneasy partner in order to kill a monster or pull off a heist. But no matter how that particular adventure goes, by the end of the hour, he’s back on his path and moving toward his next goal. The show doesn’t really have “arcs” so much as stories that occasionally take place over an episode or two—see the transport of the Frog Lady back to her partner that begins in “The Passenger” and ends in the subsequent installment—and its most dramatic set pieces generally rely on Mando fighting something, ranging from a furious mudhorn to ravenous, gross ice spiders.

In the world of genre storytelling, serialized stories with twisty plots and puzzle-box mysteries are all the rage right now. Just look at shows like Westworld, a drama that—as much as I love it—spends much of its time tying itself into complex narrative knots it doesn’t really know how to get out of. So, a show like The Mandalorian, with its linear narrative, clear-eyed storytelling, and refreshingly basic plots suddenly feels like a revelation.

And maybe it is.

Read more

TV

The Mandalorian Season 3 Predictions: What to Expect

By John Saavedra

Books

What Star Wars: The High Republic Reveals About the Galaxy Before the Movies

By Megan Crouse

The fact is, there’s still real value in a simple story about a man doing his best, no matter what circumstances he finds himself in. Maybe we’ve forgotten that fact in a television landscape that’s conditioned us to always be looking for a trick or a surprise reveal, but The Mandalorian’s largely straightforward narrative proves that it doesn’t have to be that way. And the show is as satisfying as any series that requires complex fan theories to enjoy or in-depth explainers to fully understand. 

The explainers are nice, don’t get me wrong, but in all honesty, the show is doing just fine introducing existing canon characters like Ahsoka to new audiences on its own. You don’t need to have watched Rebels to enjoy her presence here, but if you have, the satisfaction is all the greater. Truly, we don’t give The Mandalorian enough credit for the delicate balance it strikes in the age old struggle between storytelling and fanservice. It’s a difficult thing, and the show walks a fine line both carefully and well.

Even the appearance of Luke, probably the ultimate moment in Star Wars pandering, exists not for its own sake so much as it does to advance the series’ main relationship – that between Din and young Grogu. (If you didn’t get a little emotional watching them say goodbye to one another, then you have no heart, I’m sorry.)  

There’s little of the narrative baggage that usually comes along with a Skywalker arriving on the scene here – it doesn’t appear that anyone else even knows who he is beyond the fact that he is a Jedi – and though he’s meant to teach Grogu the ways of the Force, there’s no real indication we’ll see Luke again. After all, he has to start off down the path that leads him to The Last Jedi, and Grogu will  undoubtedly return to his Mandalorian’s side at some point in the not too distant future. Disney knows where its money is, after all. And it’s not in Pedro Pascal merch, much as we all love him. 

The Mandalorian’s  first season occasionally drew criticism for what naysayers deemed a “flimsy” or “barely there” plot, but this underestimates the power inherent in the series’ simple framework. Not only is it an emotional balm for those of us who are, quite frankly, tired of hour-long installments that require a significant amount of work to understand, it actually serves an important narrative purpose. The slower pace and simpler story allow us to get to know Mando and his culture, and gives the Star Wars universe a chance to take a minute and breathe.

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The Skywalker films are so full of big, potentially galaxy ending stakes and consequences that we as viewers get little time to simply take the universe in on its own terms – let alone get to know the people that inhabit it. We’re usually too busy worrying about how it all ties back to the family at the story’s center or the Jedi they serve. 

The Mandalorian has shown us what the Star Wars world outside of all the Skywalker drama looks like – even though it briefly includes one of them – and it lets us take our time to gawk at its sketchy bars, enjoy its colorful characters, and travel through run-down desolate towns at a slower pace. It’s allowed us to invest in the emotional connection between a lonely man and a lost creature who may be the last of its kind. And quaint though all that might seem, it’s certainly turned out to be a journey worth taking.

The post How The Mandalorian Gave Fans a Different Kind of Star Wars Story appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[takingcourage]

Trouble

Pairing: M! Cassian x MC (Kellen)

Word Count: 1,350

Summary: A day at the lobster shack reveals some truths that Cassian isn’t sure he’s ready to face. 

Note: I didn’t love everything that happened in last week’s chapter, so I’m playing a little fast and loose with canon events (and to some extent, characterization). For the purposes of this fic, I’m pretending they didn’t share a bed on their first night in Nantucket. (Although they totally did in my playthrough because I have a diamond surplus and no impulse control at the moment...) 

Regardless, I hope you enjoy this little story from Cassian’s perspective!

He’d told himself he wasn’t going to pick Kellen up from work.

It would attract too much attention, and besides, she really needed to start getting used to island living. Walking back to the beachfront property wouldn’t do her any harm -- it might be good for her, in fact. Just because she was under his protection didn’t mean he had to give in to her every whim. 

But as the day wore on, Cassian found that he just couldn’t help it. 

It’s safer this way, at least until she’s got her bearings, the little voice in his head insisted as he arrived at the docks. She can start walking tomorrow.  

Bringing the Vespa to a complete stop, he took a moment to scan the area in front of him. Though nothing was out of the ordinary, he still breathed a sigh of satisfaction when his eyes fell on Kellen.  

She looked up from the counter with a smile -- whether in relief at knowing her shift was over or excitement at seeing him, he couldn’t tell. Even in the uncertainty, his pulse still quickened under her gaze. Blue eyes had always been his weakness. 

Come to think of it, so had feisty, headstrong women. Having the two things together in one person was a very dangerous combination.  

Climbing off the scooter, Cassian motioned for her not to hurry. If his watch was correct, there were still three minutes to the top of the hour. He might be willing to spoil her by picking her up, but he wasn’t about to let her skimp on her first shift. 

They’d placed her at the register: a savvy business decision in more ways than one. He doubted there was a lot of complex math involved in selling seafood, but there was no doubt in his mind that Kellen was the most qualified person in the shack if numbers needed crunching. 

Having her at the front of the shop must have attracted customers as well. With her hair pulled back from her face in a loose ponytail, it was easy to admire her high cheekbones and the long, stubborn chin. And even though it was her first day on the job, she carried herself with an air of assured competence that Cassian found very attractive. 

Kellen glanced up at him again and he flashed a smile. “Two minutes,” she mouthed, flexing a pair of fingers on one hand in case he needed another visual to take her meaning. With that, she disappeared into the restaurant’s interior. 

In her absence, he fell to watching people mill about on the docks. Nantucket really was beautiful. He’d never had the opportunity to visit before, but under other circumstances, the assignment might have felt like a vacation. 

A young mother passed within feet of him, her preschool-aged son slowing as the shiny Vespa caught his attention. The boy’s mouth fell open with glee, and he looked to Cassian with wide eyes. “Hi!”

He managed a greeting and small wave before the boy’s mother caught onto his lagging and drug him onward. Cassian shook his head to account for the grin that was spreading across his face. 

“Hey, stranger!” 

His head snapped to the left at Kellen’s greeting. “Hey!”

“Making friends?”

“I’d like to think so.” They both watched as the child disappeared into the crowd. As she approached, Cassian couldn’t help noticing that her no-nonsense demeanor had softened a bit. “How was your first day as a member of the working class?” he inquired after checking to make sure no one was within earshot. 

Taking the helmet from his outstretched hand, Kellen considered the question with a sigh. “Exhausting.”

“Let’s get you home. You can take a nap before dinner.”

“Mmmph,” she grunted as she fastened the strap and collapsed onto the seat behind him. “I smell terrible.” 

His chest shook in a deep laugh. “Then you can shower first. C’mon.”

“Why would anyone choose to work in food services?” The words were mumbled into his back as she looped her arms around his middle. 

Cassian’s impulse was to offer some explanation, but better judgment suggested that her worldview had been challenged enough for one day. Instead, he opted for humor. “Be glad they didn’t have you on dish duty.” 

The groan against his spine corresponded with the first rumble of the scooter’s engine. 

-----

An hour later, he pulled a tray of vegetables from the oven and set it on the stovetop to cool. The potatoes just needed another couple of minutes before they’d be ready to go on the table. Turning toward the living room, he noticed a Kellen-sized lump beneath the thin quilt on the couch. 

He strode to the opposite end of the room to investigate further. Closing the distance, he could just make out the dark tangle of her hair at one end. The mass shifted toward him, though her features remained hidden. 

“You’ve fallen asleep in my bed.” He couldn’t say why, but a sense of satisfaction came along with the quiet words. 

“Mmm,” she contemplated with a yawn as her face finally emerged from the colorful span of fabric. “I think this technically qualifies as my couch.” With a self-satisfied smile, she nestled back into the throw pillow. “But we can share it if you want.” 

As he continued staring, her nose scrunched with wrinkles. Cassian froze for a moment, struck with the desire to kiss her. It wasn’t because he wanted to see where a kiss would lead, but rather that sleepy Kellen was one of the cutest things he’d ever seen. 

“Do you want to take a nap with me?” She screwed open one eye, squinting to focus on his face. 

He pressed his lips tightly to avoid both temptations.  

“As nice as that sounds, I’m here to see if you’re ready for dinner.” 

Both eyes opened.. “Good, ‘cause I’m starving.” 

“Thought you might be.” He offered a hand to help her up from the couch, and she accepted easily. Her other hand combed through the damp curls that were sticking to the side of her head. She was more disheveled than he’d ever seen her, and he found that he rather liked it. 

Noticing his gaze, Kellen squinted with suspicion. “What?”

“Nothing.”

She arched one skeptical brow. 

“You’re adorable. That’s all.” 

“What happened to being ‘wicked sexy?’“ she quipped, releasing his hand to follow him to the table. 

“You can be both. You are both.”

“Uh-huh.” Despite the noncommittal answer, she looked pleased at his admission. She took a seat at the table and continue trying to tame her unruly hair. 

He understood it now -- the appeal of living with the person you were dating. Getting to see all of these unfiltered moments with someone you cared about must be a tremendous privilege. Being with Kellen now was the closest thing he’d had to, well... that. 

But it’s not, he reminded himself. You wouldn’t have even seen her a second time if it wasn’t for this job. 

Their situation was much too complicated for comfort: a mishmash of emotions hiding under a semblance of normalcy. Despite his attempts at precaution, he kept catching previews of what their future could be like once all of this was over. Every interaction was a taste of what they might have in full once the summer was over. 

If Kellen wanted anything to do with him, that was. 

Cassian returned to the oven, grateful to have something else to occupy his thoughts so he wouldn’t keep focusing on her. You’ve only known this woman for three days. This isn’t a relationship. She doesn’t like you in that way, no matter how much you’d like for her to. 

Valiant as his brain’s attempt was not to muddle the situation any further, his heart wasn’t doing a very good job of keeping things straight. 

As they sat at the table to share yet another meal, he found himself wondering if there was an emotional equivalent to taking an icy dip in the bay. If he wasn’t careful, he just might need it. 

[tev-the-random]

Why I Love... Lord Shen

Warning: it might sound a bit comedic, but that’s how I generally sound when I’m excitedly exposing my discoveries.

Warning 2: I took about 99.9% of the images directly from the film, most of them are for illustrating whatever I’m affirming, I DO NOT OWN THEM AT ALL!

Warning 3: this is long. Reeeally long.

 Kung Fu Panda 2 has a special place in my heart: one of my favorite movies, possibly my favorite animated movie ever! Everything in this movie is downright amazing: the animation, the score, the relationship between the characters, the development they had from the previous movie, all the fight scenes, the way they treat certain subjects of family and identity, the new characters... And, of course, the villain.

Let me tell you, Lord Shen is quite the antagonist. The peacock was quick to steal my heart and become one of my favorite characters. That struck me as odd: what makes him so fascinating? I was determined to find out, so I started analyzing! And oh boy: this is one complex character. Much more than I initially thought! 

 I re-watched Kung Fu Panda 2 three times in a roll: first casually, second with production commentary, and third with my own analytical look. I might have a problem.

 Here you have my notes from that adventure:

First of, he’s Gary Oldman. Gary Oldman is an impeccable actor and the voice he gave Shen was simply perfect, so yeah.

“He isn’t obviously physically strong, but he’s very cunning, very smart...”. Let’s give it to him: he’s got to be really intelligent. He created his own massively destructive weapon from scratch, he orchestrated this whole plan by himself, he’s (almost) always one step ahead of everybody... And he couldn’t possibly have all those wolves and gorillas working for him for years if he at least didn’t know how to convince people.

He’s a leader. He’s a boss. He’s an emperor. He knows what needs to be done and he expects it to be done.

But hey, even like that, he still believes in hard work and doing things on his own - say what you want, but making strategies actually takes a lot of work. We can also say that he acknowledges there are certain things in life only he can do for himself.

He has this “peacock thing” where he’s “sort of proud, entitled (...) in spades!”, like a person who would say ‘Don’t you know who I am?!’ upon meeting someone. He has this sense of importance. He thinks his goals and himself are so important, Heck, he literally likes to tower over the city!

(couldn’t find many GIFs, but oh well. The camera backs away from him to show the full perspective of this freaking peacock on the top of the tower, towering over the city)

 “He doesn’t have to hide”: He’s a big, theatrical, dramatic show-off. He just comes back to Gongmen from his exile and takes “his own tower” thinking ‘Ok, I’ll make my entrance right through the front door at a moment when all the masters can see me and know for sure that sh*t’s going down, but I’ll be completely calm and collected as I do so.’ Even when he’s supposedly won, as he’s crossing the city with his boats full of weapons, he clearly enjoys making quite the scene.

(Look who’s talking!)

So much of a show off, his cannons are actually designed as this fire-breathing demon, so people would know to fear him and the kind of power he had. It’s intimidating in a ‘LOOK AT MY CANNONS!’ kind of way.

He’s a perfectionist. No other words needed.

He’s also tremendously arrogant. Because he created this “unstoppable weapon” and has all weaponry at his command, he thinks he’s outdone everyone else. He thinks that his plans are fail-proof; he underestimates everyone.

Despite that, he’s not completely stupid to assume he can do everything on his own. He knows he needs help to succeed sometimes, even though he will take all the credit; that’s why he has his little army.

His arrogance also shows when he tries to get the Soothsayer to tell him his fortune, and yet, he still insists that she’s wrong - even when she’s clearly oh so right! Although, this also shows his fear of the prophecy and how he won’t admit his own mistakes (more on that later).

Speaking of the Soothsayer, he does seem to be rather fond of her. Even if he tries to insult her and breaks her fortune-telling-magic-smoke-bow every now and then, he did keep her around mostly for company and for being petty proving her wrong. He didn’t harm her or lock her up like he did with the masters; he put up with her mannerisms even if they were annoying; he reflects at least a little on her words, which he doesn’t with anyone else; and he even “sets her free” when he’s about to begin his crazy conquering scheme, giving her time to settle somewhere safe. I mean, as far as things go with this peacock, this is really sweet.

Still about the Soothsayer, she said something quite interesting at one point: she said Shen wanted more than just ruling Gongmen City... What did she mean? What more? Did he want to conquer more territory? To innovate the city? Was he doing this (whatever she meant he was doing, specifically) for his own ambitions or only to impress his parents? Maybe both? I honestly can’t answer these specific questions...

Another little important something the Soothsayer said: she could never have foretold that Shen would do something like that, to massacre an entire people... Seeing how this was a very unpredictable move on his part, I find it safe to say he wasn’t like that when he was young; he wasn’t this completely violent, ruthless peafowl we see now...

We can say that Shen is a rather curious peacock: he tried to find something different about the fireworks; him finding about how dangerous they could be might as well have been some sort of breakthrough for him, some new, fascinating theory to be explored... Besides, he did want to have the Soothsayer tell him his new fortune, now that he “proved the old one wrong”.

The guy thought he had everything right. Finding out there was still a panda alive was like... getting punched in the face... really hard.

He’s terrified of his own destiny, really.

Shen’s expectations about Po before meeting him are terrifying, specially as he thinks - with reason - that this panda is here only for his neck.

Needless to say, he was kind of disappointed with the result of the meeting. And relieved. But really disappointed, he was ready for a fight!

For most of the time, he’s a no-nonsense kind of guy, but he has his fun.

 (Gotta love how he just cracks laughing and swiftly gets back his composure. Gary Oldman, ladies and gentlemen)

Much like any other villain in this franchise, he is quick to underestimate Po due to his silliness. This does give our panda some advantage.

Some adjectives the production crew gave to him: “very twisted, demented guy”, “intense”, “intimidating”, “really cruel” and “so mean!”. He doesn’t hesitate to hurt people physically or emotionally. So, even if he regrets his actions a little bit - again, more on that later -, that doesn’t keep him from being amused around others’ pain. He’ll use whatever means he can to achieve his goals.

I’ll say it: the years of exile made him quite the sadistic b*tch. In a way, he just wants to see it all burn, like ‘blood, heck yeah!’.Yeah, he’s a goddarn maniac for the most part.

What makes him more remarkable as an antagonist than Tai Lung or Kai - don’t get me wrong, I love  them both! But I’m setting a perspective, just bare with me here - is that he makes this personal in a much deeper way. Neither Tai Lung nor Kai had anything against the protagonist personally; they had something against the Dragon Warrior, which so happened to be Po. But Shen? Oh no, he didn’t give a crap about this Dragon Warrior thing, he wanted Po.

Not only that, but Po wanted him. Our sweet big panda had no personal correlation with the other two antagonists: he was out to stop them mainly because it was right - and to protect his friends, of course. But when it came to Shen, he had something Po desperately needed to know, he directly and indirectly affected Po’s life. Shen makes this a personal mission for the protagonist and for himself.

Once he’s finally managed to emotionally throw Po off - which makes it all so much more amusing for him - he gets “more out of control” and he’s “growing in his instability and sense of power”, which makes him mad and excited at the same time. He starts to sound like me when I find a really good plot idea for a story, but then a PANDA COMES AND RUINS EVERYTHING, so he notices he has no more time to fancily fool around and they need to ‘GET TO WORK NOW!’

At this point in life, he clearly mocks his parents’ memory. ‘F*ck the tapestry, f*ck the throne, f*ck the tower, f*ck their eternal peace after death.’

He is a walking contradiction: he’s nostalgic, yet he mocks the past; He wants to tend to the future, yet he’s stuck in the past...

(You know how he says scars don’t heal? I believe he looks at his “scars” a lot...)

He desperately wants to prove himself. To himself. And to his parents. And to his opponents. And to the Soothsayer. Ok, he wants to prove himself so bad, he actually needs all of China to know what he can do.

This all means a lot to him. Even if he plays some of it as a dark joke, it really means to him almost as much as it means to Po - albeit with different meanings.

He did his whole genocidal thing at the beginning solely to stop the prophecy from happening. This, however, had many intertwined objectives to fulfill:

It would guarantee he could keep doing his firework research - what other fascinating things could he discover? Apart from “fireworks can kill”, that is.

It would quite literally save his life - for all he knew, “defeated by a warrior of black and white” could mean anything from getting his gunpowder taken away from him to actually getting murdered. I’d say he took it as the latter.

It would, at least in his mind, make his parents proud - I can see him getting back from the panda village with something similar to ‘Mother! Father! I cheated destiny! I cheated death! I led my men to success, I shall be a great leader, one that can’t be stopped!’. Yes, he was proud of what he did back then.

This does not change the fact that it was ruthless and brutal and horrible, but is his perspective, he was on a mission. In his mind, he wasn’t wrong. His parents didn’t want to listen to him, they were being unfair! He truly believes he’s been wronged, and now the world owns him something.

This led him to believe - probably along with other past conflicts - that his parents absolutely hated him, their only child, and that he was banished as to be gotten rid of. It hurt.

 He won’t admit it, but he doesn’t know what he’s doing anymore. I mean, he wants to prove a point, but he has no idea where to go next. He lost himself in his pursue for power and vengeance, when actually...

... He’s hurt. He’s felt betrayed for a long time and he bases himself on that to justify further mistakes on his part. Thanks to the Soothsayer, we get to see that he knows he’s made mistakes, he knows the path he’s following is not the only - and probably not the right - way for him to go, he knows  he can change his course right here, right now. But he won’t do so...

The moment he learned that his parents actually loved him and that he actually misunderstood their actions, it throws him off balance. This is him realizing - and still not admitting - he’s hurt, he hurt people who cared about him and that it was his own actions that brought him to that. Right at this moment, with the Soothsayer extending her hand, he’s faced with a choice.

He had a choice. He chose this path. He’s so far gone into his own hurt, revenge and fear, he won’t ever admit he’s the one who’s been wrong this entire time. He takes a path he knows is wrong because he can’t admit his own fault, he has to blame someone else.

He doesn’t want to be redeemed, he wants to be justified.

After he’s consciously made that choice, he sort of comes to terms with it. That’s his goal and he’s going to see it to the end, he’s not going to stop.

He learns from his enemies, so most of the time he knows what to expect from them. When he learns from Po, he gets confident and doesn’t even try to put that much of a fight; he knows Po is basically fighting himself - although, Shen will try to give him a hand at it whenever possible.

(With the wings behind his back, what a beast...)

Hey, he knows what he did, and he won’t hesitate to use it against Po, as, once again, he learned from their previous encounter.

(’Oh, does my tail disturb you? Cool, I’ll make sure to keep that in mind every time we meet.’)

He projects. When he claims to Po that “Your parents didn’t love you”, he’s actually talking about himself and his own pain in regards of his own parents. He wants to hurt Po by saying that, yes, but that’s one of the first times he’s actually been able to “put voice to what he’s been feeling” until now.

Once he thinks he’s finally won, he gets waaaay too excited. And waaaaaaay too confident. He rubs his victory in everybody’s faces! Now, he sure is peacocky, eeeeey!

That seems to be a constant characteristic of him: he gets too confident when he’s winning and absolutely desperate when he’s losing.

Either all people are with him or against him, and whoever is against him shall perish, even if they were previously on the same team - the only exception to this, maybe, being the Soothsayer.

(He freaking killed his own second in command just because the guy refused to fire at their own men!)

He takes what he can - again, he’ll do whatever it takes to reach his goals: ‘Can’t fire? Send the armies! My armies are losing? I’ll fire on my own! They’re destroying our cannons? Well, do what, KEEP FIRING! Everything went down in literal flames? I’ll fight until the end!’

If he sets his mind to something - be it revenge, killing Po or conquering all China - he won’t give up until he’s either victorious or dead (he went for the latter).

“See, that’s the thing, Shen. Scars heal.”

“No they don’t. Wounds heal.”

I believe what Shen really means here is that some problems are too harmful for people to let go of them. He thought his problems were a scar that could never be healed, so he had cope with the pain by himself with revenge, but he could never find peace. He thought the problems he caused Po were a scar that couldn’t be healed, too; he thought that Po, too, would seek revenge to deal with his pain, that Po, too, would never find peace. But he did. And Shen found himself amazed... and afraid; more afraid than he was of  Po’s vengeance.

A little something before I say my final notes: let’s quickly analyse Shen’s fighting style, because the animators deserve attention for their wonderful job - also, it connects to the next note, so...

He uses his opponents moves against them;

He uses height as an advantage;

PROJECTILES!

Use them weird bird knees for some curious yet efficient movements;

He uses his sword - which is actually a weird looking yanyuedao/guan dao - a lot;

He uses his claws a lot, too;

Block-attack movements;

He uses his tail as both distraction and a defense in quite the clever way;

It’s like a dance: agile, swift, smooth, precise with a lot of twists.

He fights more for self-defense than anything. He has cannons and an army, why bother taking offence on his own?

The exception to this is during his last battle with Po, where he attacks on close combat: here, Shen lost his mind completely. He starts attacking recklessly, he loses precision, he uses every last bit of strength he has in him. He’s just... He’s really mad.

(I’d have to put the whole fight here to illustrate exactly that, but unfortunately, there’s not such GIF... Oh well, I’ll trust you know what I mean)

One final note to this analysis, about Shen’s last moments:

I’ve seen lots of people discussing what his final scene meant, when he closes his eyes and quietly accepts his death - he even turns to face the falling cannon in the last second - and most of them seem to think that that’s Shen finally finding his inner peace. But I don’t think that’s quite it. Taking everything I described here, it doesn’t seem to align too well...

What I think happened - and of course, I could be totally wrong - is that this is when Shen finally takes the blame for himself. Here, to his face, is the final undeniable proof that his actions can have negative consequences for him. He’s been facing those consequences for years, but only now can’t blame someone else. He cut all the strings that held the cannon. It wasn’t Po, it wasn’t the Five, it wasn’t his men, it wasn’t his parents, it was him.

It’s all over: his men are dead, all his cannons just exploded, he can’t win anymore, even if he kills Po. He caused his own defeat already, why keep fighting? So now, as the last thing he does in his life, he’s facing consequences forward in the most honorable way he can in those few seconds; either that be a way of saying sorry and finally admitting he was wrong or a way to set his own destiny, not defeated by a panda, but by himself. It’s a bit of both, I think.

So, why do I love Lord Shen? Between his mannerisms and evilness, he’s a very complex, deep character with an underestimated mind and, like any person, his own issues to be afraid of. Yes, he screwed up really bad, but I think he just made the wrong choices...

(Besides, he’s Gary Oldman, come on!)

[jinxofthedesert]

Hi there! Annoying anon that loves rambling about the Valeska twins is here again 🤣 Let the discussion continue! 😂 Yeah, I totally get your point of writing such stories as a means of fulfilling wishes. I guess it makes sense from the writer's pov that they want to give these characters a different (better) treatment. Valid point, but still, they don't feel real to me.

(Below this is the rest of the messages, put together. Farther down, below the line, are my responses)

It's like I'm reading a story with a character that's called Jerome/Jeremiah Valeska and looks exactly like him, but it's not truly him (just like you said, at their cores they are bad guys). But it's perfectly understandable and all right that people want to give them a rest from their chaotic lives haha 😊 everybody’s got their cup of tea ☕

Damn, yes, these stories are so hard to find! I imagine that writing something of the sort and investing so much in such complex characters can be draining and daunting, so yeah I get the reason why there are not so many fics out there... and OCs are so difficult to write haha you are right. They take too much time and effort 🤣

Yeah, I guess Ecco was not the best example. It's very true what you say about Jeremiah's and Ecco's relationship. In the show it was portrayed as a professional one. So we don't really know if there's anything else beyond that, save for some level of concern. So I guess I should have gone with Bruce instead because, just like you said, Jeremiah went totally bonkers when he realized that Bruce was the only one who saw past his resemblance to Jerome.

Basically, what I was trying to say is that in these fics there's not really that same vibe of evil obsession and lunacy from the twin's side. Maybe just some sort of heightened jealousy when their partner is addressed by other characters, but not in a really "Valeska" way. In fact, it is also strange when Bruce is completely absent in these stories when the twins' obsession revolves around him.

Yeah, there is sooo much to explore, so that is why I am very curious to see how people construe their backgrounds, but usually it's just the repetition of the show with some added scenes and dialogues here and there 😅 I would love to see something a bit different, but well, I guess I am being very demanding 🤣 Don't worry about it and thanks so much for replying! 😘 I am now doing some research in different sites 🤣

It's a bit weird because even though I enjoyed the show, I have to say I merely watched it to see ma broski boys in action 🤣 so If I wasn't so lazy (and didn't have other unfinished projects) I would try to write something (my mind is already full of vague ideas OMGGG 😏🤔😂), but I don't really know much about other characters or subplots, so I would not be sure how to tackle it 🤔 Thanks again for the lovely discussion! 😊

 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Hi anon! Don’t you worry about your rambles, they’re not at all annoying! I find it rather fun to discuss the twins. 

I’m sorry you’ve not been able to find the content you’re looking for; usually, I always run into comments on Tumblr or Pinterest about how you look for certain fics and when you can’t find them, then it’s time to try a hand at writing it yourself. I’ve done that and, even though I enjoy writing, it’s still pretty hard, especially to find a drive to do it when I really am not feeling it.  With the twins not feeling real, I understand, ‘course I now think I’m at the point where I might read anything if I’m gifted with more content lol (though there are some tags that, if I see them, I don’t touch if I can help it). 

I think, usually, with most writers, it’s easier to take a character like Jerome/Jeremiah and, instead of doing the tremendous work that comes with trying (emphasis trying) to change them, they do a few things and that’s enough for a road to recovery. Because, most of the time, they’re not writing to change the character, or even to make it realistic; sometimes they’re just writing, or they wanted to try a different aspect. There can be so many reasons and sometimes digging deep and getting a character 100% correct isn’t at the top of the list of what you want in that story. Personally, I’ve learned to broaden my sense of disbelief with characters and just enjoy what I manage to find, especially since the Gotham fic-oriented content is sooooo small 😢

After reading your last message, I actually went onto Ao3 and searched ‘character studies’ under the characters and yeah, there’s not much, I read a few and I honestly wasn’t sure what to think (not to call anyone out). It reminded me a lot of my years reading batjokes on fanfiction or, again, Ao3 where, if you search long enough, there’s a fic for almost all your needs. There have been some good gems in there that delve into character studies and helping these characters try and become better. Comparing that to Gotham’s arrangement of fics is sad, to say the least, but batjokes in all media have a lottttt of years to have such a collection of wonderful content. (Even if you’re only a Gotham fan, stretching out into the actual Batman fandom can be very rewarding, even if your next step is into the Nolan movies or even Batman in general cause you can replace the characters in your head if you really want too)  I think one big problem with Oc’s is that, in a way, they’re easy to make, but in the worst way. You can create a character to put in the place you want, a blank space and they’re just nothing. This comes up a lot in anime type works, where the main character is so blah for the purpose of the audience (reader in our other case) to put themselves in the place of the main character. This also happens in a lot of movies as well, instead of fleshing the character out and allowing them to move and breathe the way THEY would and not how the audience thinks they themselves would. Because of this, oc’s can be very flat. There are the exception, of course although I have no examples since I don’t remember the last Oc story I read . . .  *wracks brain* yeah no idea. Though I’m sure it’s somewhere in my saves.

Even if one doesn’t ship Jeremiah with Bruce, it’s very difficult to ignore/brush under the rug that there was definitely an obsession and that originally, during their weeks of spending time together, building the generator, there started a friendship. The first is very obvious, show-wise (and friendship kinda came with the territory) and the gay subtext can be there if you look at it that way. As much as an interesting character Ecco is, she’s both not important enough in the show (sorry Ecco lovers) or to Jeremiah or to anyone for that matter. While with Bruce and Jeremiah, with how their first meeting go’s and all the meetings that follow after (very willingly on Jeremiah’s part even though I’m sure before this NO ONE was allowed in the inner parts of his bunker for long periods. Probably not even Ecco) the relationship is much more pronounced than anything we’re given prior.  I like to think that even though Bruce was manipulating Jeremiah when they first met, he actually did see him as his own person. Even though he, like Jim and Harvey, have personally bore witness to Jerome’s tyranny. (And that only twists the knife harder when Jeremiah eventually loses his mind because both him and Jeremiah saw him as his own person and in a way Jeremiah doesn’t become like Jerome, he becomes worse)

One could argue that since we didn’t see a ‘true’ way the Valeska’s love that any type of them showing affection might never seem very Valeska. Unless one looks at their reactions and interactions with Bruce as something more than just ‘wanting to kill him’ or ‘obsession’. This would be another reason I’m don’t read much in the oc-area or out of the romantic’s lol mainly because the moment they take Bruce out of the picture, everything seems off. Jerome, while willing to divide his attention, only does it with specific people, who are: Jim, Bruce, Jeremiah, and, on occasion, Oswald (though he’s much less in comparison to the ‘big three’). Other then them, we don’t see him hyper-focus on anyone else in the show, and if he does, it’s for a second and to simply kill them after. If these three aren’t integral to his behavior and actions then things feel flat and out-right ignoring his obsession with Bruce and his inner darkness can be unrealistic. With Jeremiah, this is much worse because in canon, once No Man’s Land starts, all he can think about is Bruce. Everything he does in that setting and before this even started was for Bruce. This type of obsession is . . . well, something that can’t simply be ignored, it’s a big part of his character and also very integral to just who he is after the spray. It may not be as bad at the start of the spray (because he’s too busy rebuilding Gotham in his image) but literally second to that desire is his connection with Bruce. If there were a summary of Jeremiah as a character it would be IMPOSSIBLE to write it without Bruce (same with Jerome though his might be a footnote, depending). So him suddenly focusing on someone else is . . . odd (even with Jim he doesn’t give his full attention too and, in the finale, Jeremiah only starts moving around and doing shit when he realizes that Bruce has come home early and that it’s time to finally come back to the spotlight). Especially since he’s supposed to be the ‘Joker’ in the Gotham world, which, technically speaking, means this obsession with the Bat (a.k.a Bruce) will only ever get worse from here (not to mention the fact he knows Batman is Bruce because he remembers the prophecy Ra’s told him, which we’re shown in the finale when he first sees the Bat and comment’s ‘you’ in a knowing way; this can be argued he’s just recognizing that this is what the prophecy was talking about or that it’s Bruce but personally I think both cause the prophecy was about both of them.).

It’s hard not to repeat things in canon though, believe me, I know and if you ever try writing a time travel story, it’s much worse cause then you have to change literally everything if you’re doing it that way.  Nah, you know what you like; the only problem with that is it’ll be hard to find it most of the time. I wish you luck in searching! Hopefully, you’ll find something.

Same. My older brother introduced me to the show and his way of doing so was first telling me it was a batman show, that I would LOVE Oswald’s aesthetic and that there was a Joker-type character just introduced. I was sold lol. There’s been a lot of drama with the show though, concerning the twins and I honestly wish they’d just stuck with Jerome or if they did still use Jeremiah that he wasn't just . . . a backup plan for killing Jerome off. And, if they’d been allowed to go on for a few more seasons, I wouldn’t have been surprised if they would have also killed Jeremiah and a third (never heard of) Valeska twin (triplet) would show up, playing into the overall Joker lore about there having been three. 😒🤨😑 Which I find humorous because they did so well with Jerome, he was a well-rounded, fleshed out character and, as much as I love Jeremiah, it’s hard not to consider what we could have gotten if Jerome had lived *wistful sigh* I won’t lie that the drama hasn’t affected how I watch it too these days, or at least left me with a lasting impression.  I was very invested in the first few seasons, it was a good show, minus the plot-holes and annoying characters (yes, some annoy me and there are some I can’t stand) but when the twins were on screen, it was probably the show at its best. If they had implicated them more so into the main story I probably would have watched all the way to the end (I can admit, I’ve never seen season five, but I saw many clips, have been completely spoiled and DID watch the finale lol and . . . I think I saw some of season four? Maybe, not sure anymore.) because when they’re also interacting with Bruce, perfection. I could watch that shit for days. 

Also, if you did write it, it wouldn’t have to be about other characters if you don’t want it to be. You’re talking to me, who has never seen the last few seasons and when I wrote my first fic ‘Blindly Evident’ literally all my scenes I had to LOOK UP because I only knew the base of what the scene was even about lol. So sometimes, you can totally bullshit your way lol and somehow it turns out to be really good and you like it. Or it’s just snippets of small scenes with your characters (I’ve been writing a fic like that for awhile because it’s fun and easy and yet you can make it so thought provoking because these snippets are so smallll.) I would implore you to give it a go. Even if you have no idea what the other characters are doing or even what their names are. 

I feel like this has just become me rambling about Gotham and writing tips at this point lol but you’re welcome~ I am here to try and help and always willing to listen about Gotham and talk (or rant, I’m not picky lol). Thanks again for your ask, anon! Hope you find that content you’re looking for 🥰🧡💛

[bi-lullaby]

Meredith vs People

Alternative titles: “My other post in a similar format got slightly popular and I crave attention” and “I’m still hung up on the one time Owen called Mer “the only universally liked individual in the hospital” because she is my fave”

Meredith x Cristina

Once called “the true lovestory of the show” I think it’s one of the kost refreshing relationships between characters I’ve ever seen in my, admittedly not that long, experience with fandom. The love and support each other wildly and publicly, straight up say to others how their person is important and a thing to prioritize. It’s so... Amazing to watch their deep, soulmate-like bond develop. I also love them from a narrative standpoint: How they started out as ambitious, driven people with complicated relationships with intimacy who saw surgery as the end all be all goal, and how they’re allowed to grow apart from that slightly, acquire other goals and relationships and projects (Meredith) or continue on that path, prioritizing their career and success solely/mostly (Cristina) and how both are treated as valid, rewarding choices (Mer with her happiness at family life and her Harper Avery, and Cristina with her bomb-ass hospital and the resolution of her personal relationships). They’re two characters that took on distinct journeys, but whose paths to personal fulfillment are deeply intertwined to each other.

Meredith x Alex

Okay, this is my favorite friendship ever. If Izzie showed Alex that his “evil spawn” ways weren’t exactly preferable nor they made him better than anyone or immune to pain, Meredith stuck out her hand for him and said “you’re dark and twisty? Cool. Doesn’t mean you can’t find, and fight for, happiness. Lets be dark and twisty together while we figure this out.” They relate to each other in a fascinating way, both children of neglect (to varying degrees) who worked their way to the top with a lot of bumps in the way. Also, seeing as I’m Mer’s number one stan, I also love their relationship because Alex is so amazing to her. Even Cristina had her moments of “mommy tracking” her, or even putting her aside in favor of a relationship, while Alex sticks by her side like glue and puts her above almost everything (which, I’m not saying a friendship is less valid if it’s not the most important thing in the world to you, of course not. I’m saying that everyone has a favorite person in the world, and the fact Mer is someone’s, makes that someone (Alex) even better in my eyes). Meredith sticks by the people she cares about’s sides through whatever they’re going through, in whatever way she can, and I find that that is surprisingly not-reciprocal in some instances, so it’s good she has her own ride-or-die. It’s also comic to me that two of the most sexually active, sex-driven characters in the show have never had an indication of sexual tension between them. (Almost like men and women can be friends, shocking!). The show’s not complete without Merlex, that’s for sure!

Meredith x Lexie

BRB, will be crying about the softest sisters ever, who deserved a much more fleshed-out relationship! To this day, all my (unpublished) Grey’s fanfiction involve “Lexie is actually alive” because it was such a traumatic loss to Meredith (that was under explored, imo, even if the little mentions of it through the show are heartwarming AND breaking). I loved that they made Mer push her way at first, because it showed her deep resentment of her own life, of not getting the doting father and the protective mother and the “growing up with siblings” and then having someone who had all that come and throw at her face the word “sisters” like they shared anything but DNA at that point... I think my two favorite examples of “family is about choice, not blood” examples of this show are their relationship and how it got deep through knowing each other (Meredith donates a piece of her liver to their father because of Lexie, but doesn’t remember Molly’s name in the same ep because Molly has not actively been her sister) and another one I’ll talk about later. And the contrast between Lexie’s own sadness from suddenly being left with basically no family (alcoholic father, dead mother,stranded older dister and far-away younger sister, all things I feel like people don’t consider enough to understand Lexie has also suffered) and her fight to get that family back was just so amazing. In a way, Lexie was Meredith’s Izzie, not only by being cuddly and fuzzy and nurturing but by having a “I deserve better than you being an asshole so I’ll make you less of an asshole or so help me god” attitude. Mer got softer for lexie and I think that’s beautiful.

Meredith x Amelia

Yeah, that’s my other “favorite family is not by blood, it’s by choice” ark. That clear-contrast scene of Amelia coming from her “sisters” meetup, emotionally drained after having to endure their toxic, demeaning, vicious attacks, and into her sisters, who are earning to hear what she has to say, who empathize with her and support her... I ate that shit UP, let me tell you. Because Mer was such a huge bitch to Amy at first, but came to love her after allowing herself to truly get to know her (which is the opposite story with Nancy and Lizzie and Kate, who all refuse to get to know her past the version that they despise). I also love that Derek was kind of a barrier between them, because he had his own views of Amy that influenced Mer and when he was gone, she had to face a... quite different reality. I see a lot of people shitting on Mer for the “You’re not my sister, Cristina is my sister. You’re Derek’s sister and Derek is dead” line, and I can see why, it was rude, but... That’s Meredith’s whole instance on family? Yeah, Amy was sweet and I’d bet she was mer’s favorite “Shepherdress” out of the four woman (she had stood up to her before, against Derek, nonetheless), and it breaks my heart that Amy saw her as “the only sister she could relate to” (seriously I was sobbing) but... Sister? That’s a personal, intimate title she reserved very, very few people in her life, and Amy has earned that right with a lot more patience and care than most people put into relationships. Of course she was more loyal to Cristina than to Amy at that point (who herself was more loyal to Addison than to her own siblings, hence she didn’t tell Derek about the affair, for example). But then? She literally tells Megan she can’t possibly choose which one of Owen’s wives she likes more, and need I remind you the other one is Cristina herself? (who she called “her soulmate” over Derek?. They’re two example of women who’ve gone through tremendous trauma and pain and came out changed from it, and the fact they have each other for support now makes me very, very happy. I do wish they had more scenes together, but the ones they do share are enough for me to say their relationship is a gift for this show.

Meredith x Maggie

So pure! I like that they meet up when they’re both older and more experienced and have kind of “set” personalities, that clash sometimes, but also can add up into beautiful things when combined. It was... slightly frustrating to see Mer push away yet another person at first, but watching them get closer was also sweet. I hate the comparisons between their relationship and Merlexie’s (and the comparisons between Maggie and Lexie/Cristina/April like she’s just a stand-in for them). They were different moments of all their lives. Mer and Lexie? Inexperienced 20-something women going though shit trying to find their place in the world, when Mer was still in her dark and twisties and needed to be cajoled into giving Lexie even an inch. Mer and Maggie? Well-established women in their late thirties whose relationship wasn’t built on a need for each other, but in working together for the sisterhood they wanted. I love that it was Maggie that had to get to know Meredith and be persuaded into liking her, actually. And look where they are now! They have such a comfortable, intimate relationship that’s based on love and mutual respect! I love Maggie’s small fangirl moment when Mer pulls that amazing straw-in-the-skull stunt in the airplane and Maggie’s filming the interview (although I hated what came afterwards. C’mon Maggie, fighting over a boy? Really?). It’s also good to see how Meredith helps Maggie navigate her first real trauma (loosing her mother) and how her pain has build her up and actually helps others! It’s an excellent stance of character development that remains true to the character. Their little interaction when Mer’s creating her little dream-induced invention and Maggie looks at the board once and understands it, helping her figure it all out, is so cute and nice! They’re sweet and good for each other, and I’ll protect this relationship forever!

Meredith and Jo

“You’re Jo Wilson, I know exactly who you are!” makes me weak. Because it’s such a powerful, important phrase, but also such... A Mer thing to say. At the end of the day, Mer loves people and takes them under her wing and empathizes with them. She becomes Jo’s support system and doesn’t let go. I love how she’s the one to stand by her side and protect her from Paul, and I love how she’s the one in the more recent episode to manage to get Jo to open up, to get up and get help. They’re almost mirrors, Jo with Mer���s headstrongness and emotional baggage, barging in and taking the world by storm, with Mer being Jo’s Bailey in a way, with a lot of crankiness and a slight superiority complex but lots of wisdom and care, looking at her go with a smirk like “that girl will go far but she’ll need a couple wrist slaps on the way”. Mer was extremely important in Alex’s life, she became extremely important in Jo’s life, and that’s beautiful and sweet. Also, their “shared custody” of Alex is hilarious.

Meredith x Callie

How could we have guessed that two people that initially were at each others throats constantly would be so close one day? They are absurdly different, and yet so close! The way they support each other’s journeys as mothers, wives and surgeons is a great thing to see. And they have such iconic moments, like the panties in the bulletin board, the trial, and the little kiss!

Meredith x Mark

I’m not gonna lie, I shipped those two very briefly but very intensely when they first met! Then they evolved into a rather sweet friendship. I love to think Mer tells Sofia all sorts of stories she heard through Derek in those first years. When she told Callie that Mark used to call her (not Derek, not Addison, not Derek’s mom, not Bailey, her!) whenever he needed advice or had a crisis in the middle of the night, I teared up a little, because that’s such a huge step from who they began as! From loner and relationship-phobic insecure to parents with loving relationships who could count on each other! My favorite dirty mistresses ever!

And there’s so much more! Meredith and Bailey and how they both grew so much, Meredith and Arizona and how their relationship is underrate, Meredith and Jackson’s sibling-esque relationship, Meredith and April... “I used to think you could only have one person, but now I know. Turns out I have a whole damn village!”.

[katiesclassicbooks]

Review: Watchmen by Alan Moore Illustrated by Dave Gibbons

Synopsis:

Watchmen is a graphic novel that was written by Alan Moore and illustrated by Dave Gibbons. It was published in 1987. In the midst of the threat of nuclear warfare, the world is reimagined as if super-heroes really exist in this graphic novel. The group of super-heroes also known as the watchmen, presented in this story are all psychologically complex. We get glimpses into their pasts and their different viewpoints. They all have different viewpoints on how to save the world. Also, complicated and imperfect morality. 

Storyline:

I was hooked and astounded by this multi-layered story. There really was so much packed in here. This shows a world that is overshadowed by potential destruction and Armageddon. A world plagued by the threat of nuclear warfare. Yet, in this world super-heroes are real and what are super-heroes for except to save the world? It’s so much more complex than that though. These super-heroes are flawed. They are just as human as everyone else (well most of them) and have been shaped by their pasts. They all have different viewpoints about the world, saving it and fighting crime. All of which are interesting, all seem morally complicated and none seem like exactly the right answer. Also, the question is asked ‘who watches the watchmen?’ What is behind it all? Does anyone really have the right to make decisions on behalf of humanity or other people? If superheroes existed would they have that right? Do policemen and the law have that right? Do political leaders have that right? Does anyone have that right? I’ve read that Alan Moore is an anarchist and within that theme of ‘who watches the watchmen?’ I can see his anarchy seeping through. This story was so engrossing, thought provoking and wonderfully executed both through the storytelling of Alan Moore and the artistic talent of Dave Gibbons. 

Setting:

Watchmen is set in a slightly altered 1980’s where some of the history has changed a bit because of the existence of superheroes. The setting was great and since this is a graphic novel was shown through art rather than described with words. I really did love the art style in this graphic novel. I mean, this is the first graphic novel/comic series I have ever read so I don’t have anything to compare it too, but I really did love it. My favorite color palette and setting was when Dr. Manhattan was on Mars. I loved the blue and the pink. All those images when he was there were so cool. Perhaps the scenes on earth were so busy, that the simplicity, space and yet beauty of the drawings of Dr. Manhattan being away from it all just kind of did it for me. 

Characters:

The characters and the concepts they explore are what really made this book. Through their exploration all the themes of the novel emerge. First of all there is Rorshach. He is ultra pessimistic and you could say even potentially a nihilist. His focus is smaller and he sees the worst of humanity. It seems like he thinks it’s hopeless, but yet relentlessly fights evil. He doesn’t seem to look as much at the big picture as the others though. While I liked Rorshach in a way and he was an interesting character, he was not a favorite. Then there’s The Comedian. He also sees the worst in the world. He sees the world as a big joke. Therefore he decides to cash in on the joke and reflect humanity’s worst qualities. Sure he’s a superhero, but he also works for the government. He was not likable to me for obvious reasons. Ozymandias was a favorite character of mine, although I didn’t completely agree with or admire him. In fact, what is so great about these characters is that you don’t agree with or admire any of them completely. They and their ideologies are all flawed. Ozymandias has a utopian, optimistic vision for the future. He wants to bring a resurgence of all that is great about humanity such as knowledge and art etc. His idol is Alexander the Great. He says that people in the 20th century either were taking a pessimistic or optimistic approach. Seeing the potential for enlightenment or seeing it all as hopeless and almost wishing the world would end. (Don’t think much has changed in the 21st century either). He obviously sees the potential for humanity. He is known as the world’s smartest man and he sees that everyone taking sides and fighting wars just constantly leads to division and can now lead to mutually assured destruction. He decides that humanity needs a threat from outside in order to unite them. I really liked that concept and his vision for a utopian future. The problem is, that plan leads to the sacrifice of the few for the many. Which, morally doesn’t seem right and most definitely not a perfect plan. While he has good intentions for the long term of humanity, he is still very egotistical and seems like he wants to conquer the world. He is the one that really brings up the question ‘who watches the watchmen?’ because he is the one that changes that fate of the world. Did he have the right to do that though? I thought it was interesting that within this story there was a guy reading a comic book about pirates and it paralleled the main story. It was juxtaposed really well and this one image stuck out to me in it. This one man is trying to make it back to his hometown to save everyone from a ship that will take everyone to hell. He has been shipwrecked and is left on an island with a bunch of corpses. He sails to his hometown on a raft that floats on the corpses. The image of him going to save everyone from hell, yet being propelled there by the corpses of others really tied into the rest of the story and what I feel Ozymandias does. It was a good image for what people do in war regardless. Jon or Dr. Manhattan was perhaps my favorite character. I loved his sections. He is the result of an experiment gone wrong where he was completely disintegrated, but he reassembled himself and now has super powers. Timelines got messed up with him and he experiences all time at once. I found him utterly fascinating and the section where it talked about how he experiences all time at once really got me thinking about the nature of time. I put the book down for awhile after that part because I got so caught up in my own musings on time. He also questions whether anything even made the world. He says its a clock without a clockmaker. He says nothing ends. You could say that his views are similar to the meaninglessness that Rorshach sees. I think Rorshach is so much more nihilistic though and I almost feel like Jon shows infinity and infinite potential perhaps. Jon becomes separate from humanity. He doesn’t see how in the grand scheme of things humanity serves any great purpose. He wants to detach from it all. He starts to do that, but then another character named Laurie reminds him of the miracle of life, so he returns for a bit only to become disgusted and leave again. He seems to want to detach from humanity and feeling. Sometimes though it seems he misses and might long for human connection. While he represents disconnection and wanting to disconnect from humanity, Laurie and Nite owl aka Dan seem to cling more tightly at the end to human connection. As the world has gotten more divided people have become more divided. Laurie sees death around them, she’s been confused by her past and she’s been disappointed in trying to be in a relationship with someone as disconnected as Jon. Nite Owl has fallen into boring middle aged retirement and feels a sense of impotence. All these factors bring them together to both try and fight crime and to connect with each other. Laurie I feel is more driven to connection. Nite Owl gets a thrill and feels important when he is fighting crime. These are the complex characters of Watchmen and I understood all of them and yet didn’t quite agree with any of them at the same time. They show different reactions to the world and humanity. Pessimism vs. optimism. Connection vs. disconnection. 

Did I Like It?:

I absolutely loved Watchmen! I wasn’t sure what I would think of the graphic novel medium or this story and it absorbed me, it made me think a tremendous amount and I just think it is a masterpiece that’s very powerful!  It impacted me and I will be thinking about it for a long time to come. My love gave this to me to read as it is his favorite book and he thought that I would get it and appreciate it. I am so glad he did! He was right and I can’t wait to discuss it more with him. Noting how much I have loved his recommendation, I think I’ll be keeping him around for awhile haha. He also recommends V for Vendetta, which I want to read soon now as well. 

Do I Recommend It?:

Yes! So highly. To most people. Doesn’t matter if you think you won’t like a graphic novel or superheros. This book demands to be read. It contains so much and is just a fabulous thought provoking creation. 

~Katie 

[markgottliebliteraryagent]

Scandinavian-Inspired Dark Epic Fantasy Author Tina LeCount Myers

Tina LeCount Myers is a writer, artist, independent historian, and surfer. Born in Mexico to expat-bohemian parents, she grew up on Southern California tennis courts with a prophecy hanging over her head; her parents hoped she'd one day be an author. Tina lives in San Francisco with her adventurer husband and loud Siamese cat. The Song of All is the first book of the epic fantasy trilogy The Legacy of the Heavens. Her latest book from the trilogy, Dreams of the Dark Sky, publishes February 2019 from Night Shade Books.

The Song of All and Dreams of the Dark Sky reads more like "Shakespeare" fantasy than "X-Men" fantasy. Do you see the series as leaning more toward literary fiction, or fantasy genre fiction—or can they be read by both audiences?

Of course, my hope is that my books appeal both to readers of literary fiction and genre fantasy fiction. The two readerships are not that mutually exclusive. Readers of Shakespeare and X-men are likely interested in the same things: complex characters, a rich, detailed world, and great storytelling. The relationship between Magneto and Xavier feels very Shakespearean to me. One of the things that I tried to do in writing these two books was give equal attention to both language and fantasy elements. My hope is that readers will find a turn-of-phrase or description as compelling as a sword fight and vice versa.

What do you feel the fantasy genre of storytelling affords you as an author writing closely to that medium?

When I describe The Legacy of the Heavens series to people, I say, “The story is about two ancient warring tribes in the Arctic tundra, and a flawed man who is trying to save his son. It also includes parallel worlds accessed by song, psionics, sequential hermaphroditism, reindeer, and epic sword fights.” Where else but fantasy can a writer have that kind of latitude to explore such diverse elements? Anything is possible in fantasy storytelling.

“...I was equally interested in exploring how to layer mythology over science.”

In addition to your familial history, what drew you to the setting of your novels in the frozen northlands with characters drawn from Scandinavian mythology?

Part of the decision I made in world-building was predicated on the initial debate, and subsequent bet, I had with my husband, to write a fantasy story with science as a foundation. For me, that meant looking at the world I live in and that humans evolved in to find an other-worldly location. I chose the Arctic tundra because of its harsh climate. To survive in the cold with very little sunlight in the winter suggested the possibility of interesting adaptations due to evolution. This region also has a rich mythology to draw inspiration from. So, while my Finnish ancestry played a role in the setting of the story, I was equally interested in exploring how to layer mythology over science.

How did you go about obtaining literary representation and then go on to get published?

The Song of All went through seven edits, including two professional editors, before I thought it was ready for submission. Then I turned my attention to the synopsis, which I still think is one of the hardest things to write. I rewrote the synopsis ten times with the help of one of my beta readers. The query came next. I used every available resource out there to craft my query letter. I researched literary agents both in the Guide to Literary Agents and online. I did Twitter pitches, through #PitMad, to hone my logline (Twitter was still 140 characters then). I also attended writers’ conferences that featured literary agents and book editors. It just so happened that at my second writers’ conference, the San Francisco Writers’ Conference, I pitched you. You were my last literary agent of the day. The "time’s up" bell rang about a minute into my pitch. I was so flustered, but you weren’t phased at all. You asked for the full manuscript and a couple of weeks after that you took me on as your client. If I remember the timeline correctly, you sold The Legacy of the Heavens trilogy within three months of going out on submission.

The Jápmemeahttun—or what I consider akin to "dark elves"—from your novels are unique, in that they can change between male and female—at will. While sequential hermaphroditism does indeed occur in nature among species such as the clownfish, what inspired you to write that aspect into your characters?

The Jápmemeahttun were my way of thinking about and talking about "elves" without ever using that term. I was curious about what living a couple of centuries might look like. What might some of the problems be? What might some of the possibilities be? In particular, I wanted to consider what a social group might look like if individuals experienced both genders, in terms of their physiology and gender roles. So, I did look to nature for examples of hermaphroditism, in particular the sequential form—male to female and female to male—and how it might be evolutionarily advantageous. But while there are some species that change sex at will, the Jápmemeahttun go through a very specific biological process that allows them to transition from female to male in their lifetime.

“The learning curve for me as a debut author in the publishing industry was steep, and I was certainly grateful to have a knowledgeable literary agent...”

Now that you have published your second novel within The Legacy of the Heavens series, what have you learned from the book publishing experience?

The learning curve for me as a debut author in the publishing industry was steep, and I was certainly grateful to have a knowledgeable literary agent, like you, who was open to questions. With the second book, I am discovering that the learning curve is getting even steeper, particularly in terms of balancing my time between, promoting the first book, while preparing the second book for publication, while writing the third. I was raised to be self-sufficient, but I am now seeing the importance of building a team and getting help for things that I just don’t know how to do.

Irjan, the lead character of your first novel, goes through some tremendous character development in the story. What is the driving force behind his drastic change of character and what drew you to that particular literary device?

Irjan’s character development in The Song of All centers on a crisis of conscience, and what happens when the life of revenge and violence that he had relied on no longer served him. In particular, I wanted to explore the consequences of Irjan’s choices, both in his life and in the lives of the people he loved. I think a crisis of conscience or a life crisis is something that most people can relate to. How we handle it also ripples out, maybe not a dramatic as in Irjan’s case, but I do believe that actions have consequences, both intended and unintended.

The audiobook edition of The Song of All, narrated by Ulf Bjorklund, is particularly unique, given that he has a Swedish background and the novel is set in the Saamiland of Norway, Sweden, and Finland. What was it like working with Bjorklund on the pronunciations and character voices of your audiobook edition?

It was an absolute pleasure to work with Ulf and director Max Bloomquist, and the entire team at Brilliance Audio. Max’s background is both Swedish and Finnish, so it really was a Scandinavian production. Max and Ulf also worked with Thomas A. DuBois, the Halls-Bascom Professor of Scandinavian Studies, Folklore, and Religious Studies at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, to make sure they had the correct pronunciation for the Saami words. I always go and listen to the audiobook before I give a reading to make sure that I have the correct pronunciation. I think Ulf really captured the essence of the characters, and I hope to work with him again in the near future.

“You have to love your story before anyone will.”

Do you have any advice for writers out there, aspiring to become published authors?

I would say, write for yourself first. You have to love your story before anyone will. Then, be clear on why you want to be published, because that will inform your decision-making along the way. After that, I think persistence, combined with a positive attitude, is crucial.

Can you give us a sense of what’s to come from The Northern Ones, book three in The Legacy of the Heavens series? Please, no spoilers!

Of the three books, The Northern Ones has much more of a quest element in it. And readers will go beyond the borders of Davvieana to discover more of the outside world. The story is a cross between Rogue One and Marco Polo.

[commanderatherfuck]

Have you ever licked a lamppost in winter?

*sips hard liquor from a “World’s Best Fandom” coffee mug*

Yes, you got it right, this is happening. Get comfortable there, in today’s episode we’re going to bust one of the most popular myths among cullenmancers of all time:

“Cullen can't be a virgin in DAI because he's hot, confident and 30”.

First of all, I’d like to point out that I’m very reluctant to the notorious image of DAI Cullen as a "chantry boy", which basically means the face of DAI Cullen slapped on the DAO Alistair character. As ironic as it may seem the main accomplishment of forcing this image was a creation of strong belief within the fandom that the virgin!cullen headcanon is something utterly AU-ish, existing only in the minds of those who’re into virginity kink. I’m going to give you another perspective on this popular viewpoint.

The most common argument in defense of nonvirgin!cullen position sounds like:

“Cullen doesn’t act like a virgin in DAI”

I have two problems with this statement. First one is that this argument traditionally comes along with a comparison between DAI Cullen and DAO Alistair. The logical structure looks like: “Alistair was an awkward virgin in DAO. Cullen’s behavior in DAI is nothing alike. Therefore Cullen is not a virgin in DAI”. The mistake here is that Alistair’s behavior in DAO doesn’t define the behavior of every virgin in the world, not mentioning the fact that comparison between DAO Alistair and DAI Cullen is completely inappropriate. Don’t you think that it’s a little bit strange to expect the exact same behavior from a young and innocent boy and adult worn and torn guy just because both of them don’t have sexual experience?

The second problem I have is getting the “doesn’t act like a virgin” part. It sounds almost like there's some unified pattern of virgins' behavior when obviously there's none. The stereotype of a shy awkward virgin, incapable of saying two words without stuttering, is a powerful one but it is still a stereotype. Very blunt too, so it’s really surprising for me to see how many people are eager to fall for it. And just like any other stereotype, this one cannot be applied to everyone and certainly not to Cullen as a matter of fact. Cullen does act confident in DAI and the main reason for it is that he is mature first and foremost.

The lack of experience in sex alone doesn't nullify the general maturity.

I really don't know how to stress this enough. This is arguably the most bugging thing about the whole (non)virgin!cullen drama for me and the very reason why I decided to create this post. Cullen is confident because he's a mature, grown-ass man who's gone through ugly shit more than once and survived. He won't act like Alistair even if he is a virgin. It just doesn't work like this, okay? He's a mature adult, Alistair is a young innocent boy. And it has nothing to do with sexual experience. The concept of maturity is a little more complex than just the fact of having or not having sex in life. It's possible to be an irresponsible child with rich sexual life and a fully responsible adult without any sexual experience at all.

Lack of sexual experience is not equal innocence and Cullen is by no means innocent.

He's seen some shit, he's done some shit. Cullen has stable, fully developed personality, he mastered himself and earned his maturity hard way and that's exactly where his confidence comes from. Lack or existence of sex in his life is completely irrelevant for it.

Just to be perfectly clear: Cullen's confidence comes from his maturity, but his maturity doesn't come from lack or existence of sexual experience in his life.

________________________________________________________________

Now when we cleared this up let’s figure out why virgin!cullen headcanon is at least equal to nonvirgin!cullen and why you don’t have to be an adept of “virginity cult” to embrace it.

The main reason why Cullen can be a virgin in DAI lies in his tremendously traumatized background.

@aurianavaloria has a wonderful lore-friendly character research on the matter, so I strongly recommend to read it to be able to get the whole picture.

I have a serious problem with how lightly fandom treats serious topics such as PTSD and mental trauma in Cullen's biography. I've seen way too many people among both fans and haters who either ignore the Kinloch incident completely or perceive it like some small unfortunate event while it was actually a milestone in Cullen's personality formation. Just think about it - young innocent pup who'd never seen abominations or even death before had gone through horrific shit: loads of gruesome deaths of friends and people he was supposed to protect, severe mental and physical tortures and possibly even rape. And right after that instead of long and proper treatment, he got straight into hands of charismatic zealot who gave him some sort of crooked sympathy, nurturing his fears and hatred.

This kind of trauma is not something that can be overcome fast and easily and it certainly had a major impact on Cullen's personality development.

I’ve seen more than once the argument that:

“10 years is a long period of time, long enough to get over with PTSD. I can’t believe he didn’t have any action during that time, not necessarily something serious, but you know, just regular banging”.

Well, let me tell you one thing – one of the worst aspects of having PTSD is that side effects linger for a ridiculously long time, some never go away even if the person recovering in peace, surrounded by family and loved ones. Cullen didn’t have the luxury of recovering, he was forced to face his fears on the regular basis. The only thing that kept him sane was faith, in Maker and in the Order, represented by ‘”supportive” Knight-Commander. To think, his relationship with Meredith was a true deal with the devil. She showed him some kind of sympathy as she had the similar experience in her lifetime, and, what’s more important, showed him that there’s another path to prevent any further pain. The proper treatment he truly needed after events of the Broken Circle was replaced by the false purpose, based on fear and fanatical devotion to the duty and the Order. It did work but in a rather distorted way. Cullen’s recovery was like an improperly healed leg bone – painful, unstable, with lingering side effects, but at least he still could have been able to stand. And that’s exactly why I find it difficult to blame him for the notorious “magesarenotpeople” drama. It’s way too easy to brand him a villain in DAII, however, all I see there is a young broken person, clinging for the shards of sanity and trying to find the strength to go on after the severe trauma wherever he can, even in the blind zealotry. Was it a wrong way to go? Absolutely. Do I have a moral right to blame him for it? Not even close.  

So, long story short, 10 years totally may be not long enough to overcome PTSD, especially under the circumstances of constant stress and fear. The things are even more complicated if there was a sexual assault of any form during the Broken Circle. Sex and PTSD is a whole different topic for another day, let’s just say that impacts of a mental trauma can make sexual life really tricky. That makes the “regular banging” part quite dubious, not mentioning that casual sex is not for everyone to begin with. Some people do it lightly, some people don’t do it at all, either way is absolutely normal for any gender. Whether Cullen is the “regular banging” type or not and how badly PTSD affected his post-Fereldan sexual life is up to one’s headcanons. Personally, I’ve seen no evidence during the series that allow to affirm that Cullen divides concepts “sex” and “sex in the relationship”. The main problem for me is that one needs to treat casual sex lightly to perform it, and Cullen’s attitude towards pretty much everything is anything but light. Almost everyone who ever speaks of him during the game mentions at some point that he’s very serious, if not uptight. Hell, even Quis herself can tell him during the wedding cutscene “Always so serious”. This image doesn’t really get along well with the concept of casual fucking in my mind. But this is just my take on the character anyway.

Of course, all of this above doesn't prove that Cullen is necessarily a virgin in the Inquisition but it does prove that he has every reason to be one. According to WOT Cullen's attitude during Kirkwall period was cold towards both mages and templars, he didn't want to let anyone in and had a damn good reason for it.

There's a very high possibility that Cullen could have chosen to close himself from any kind of close social interactions (sexual ones like casual banging included) to prevent any further pain after traumatic events of the past and there's nothing strange or wrong about that.

________________________________________________________________

For the record, I do recognize the power of headcanons and totally respect them. I have zero problems with the fact that some people don’t see Cullen as a virgin in DAI. That’s how headcanons work and I’m more than cool with it. What gives me cringe however is the fact that some people claim that Cullen can’t be a virgin in DAI just because it’s not “normal” for a 30 yo handsome man to be one. This is arguably the most toxic argument in defense of nonvirgin!cullen position ever. I won’t torment you with off-topic *virginity is a social concept* rant, instead of that I’ll just say that the modern world's concept of a 'normal guy' may not work in Thedas. I strongly doubt that the social pattern of a "normal man" who should lose his virginity in between his early teens and mid-20s is fully acceptable for Thedas. The society with the ultimate power of the religious organization is very likely to be less reluctant to the idea of adult virginity than the modern one. Chantry is presumed to have its members, templars included, virtuous. It's not required, yes, templars can marry and sex is not totally tabooed for people who serve the Chantry but apparently, physical temperance is a thing for andrastian religion (remember Alistair's memories of his Templar days or Sebastian's celibacy) and not considered as a deviation. My general point here is that meeting an adult virgin man in Thedas is more frequent occurrence and more acceptable social concept than it is in the modern world.

Speaking of Cullen in particular, the man can be a virgin in DAI because of his traumatized background, PTSD, and following lifestyle choices. Considering all that, you can see that the virgin!cullen headcanon has a bit more solid backup than just “cult of virginity” or “first-time-big-deal kink” and that’s exactly what makes the whole thing totally plausible. And yes, it is plausible.

The writer deliberately left the virgin/nonvirgin thing ambiguous and did a pretty good job with that I dare say. Every romance related scene with Cullen can be read either way. There’s not a single scene in the game that can categorically prove that Cullen is/isn’t a virgin.

O RLY? :

“Cullen laughed at Bull's dick joke - HALF-LIFE 3 NONVIRGINITY CONFIRMED”

Um, no? The only thing confirmed in this scene is that Cullen finds the joke amusing and that he actually has a sense of humor hidden deep underneath his usual polite cold attitude. Let's just assume he is a virgin in this scene. So why wouldn't he laugh? Because he's not able to get sexual context without actual experience? I don't think it works that way, getting jokes is about intelligence and sense of humor, you don't need to have the exact same experience mentioned in the joke to find it funny. Besides, look at Cullen's attitude in this scene again, it's not all that confident "good one, bro". He definitely feels uncomfortable, even more uncomfortable than Josie a.k.a. Ultimate Disney Princess, so this scene definitely doesn't seem like a solid proof of Cullen's sexual experience existence.

Yeah, that’s all good, BUT :

“He said that there’s nothing wrong with having a bit of fun – it proves that he is experienced!”

Once again, Cullen is an adult in Inquisition. He is aware of sexual intercourse existence and won’t faint or something just because he witnessed its aftermath. If he is still a virgin it’s not because he’s a prude or reluctant to the very idea of sex, but because of deep personal problems, caused by traumatic past. “Nothing wrong with having a bit of fun” can be a simple display of “live and let live” principle. For example, an asexual person can tell you “doing hardcore sex is totally ok if you’re happy with it”. Same idea here.

Bitch, please:

"Two words: Desk. Sex. Alistair is inexperienced. Cullen’s got moves. Fight me" “It’s not something a virgin would do” ”This is not the action of a virgin” “DESK SCENE”

Ok, we finally made it to the juiciest part of this episode. What could I possibly say against the almighty Desk Scene, the bastion of Commander’s Sexual Experience? Well, wonder no more – the answer is “conversation before it”. The paradox is – if Cullen’s pre-sex conversation would have been identical to Alistair’s I’d agree with y’all – the man is by no means a virgin. The guy tells the woman he loves how much he cares and asks her to spend a night with him here and now. After she says “yes” the guy fucks her mindlessly on the table. Very hot and yep, there’s definitely some experience right there. But it’s not what happened at all. Just rewatch the scene once again.

*video captured by Geek Remix

You do see the difference, right? He’s not asking to spend a night with him, he’s asking to spend a life with him.

He’s really tensed and frustrated all along, hesitating to ask the woman he loves to share a future with him because it seems «too much to ask». It’s a real commitment for him – to open up to someone first time in a very long time. He feels extremely vulnerable at this point and probably makes one of the hardest personal choices ever. He’s not even sure how to formulate his question because he’s afraid that he’s asking too much of her. And then she simply turns him towards her with the gentle “Cullen, do you need to ask?” as if she’s already made the decision he found difficult even to express.

Do you see how important for him this scene is? It’s not just “I totally want you here and now” moment, it’s “I totally love you and want you here and now” moment. The scene is hands down hot, but there’s so much more in it than just a simple steamy moment between two lovers. In fact, the sex itself is secondary in this scene, it’s more about feelings, acceptance and trust. What’s happening here is the guy who doesn’t consider himself as a good person asking the woman he deeply cares about to accept him with all his shit he’s constantly kicking himself for and become the part of his life. And she does. Unconditionally. The significance of this conversation for Cullen is so much greater than just “we’ll bang, ok?”, it means the end of the whole phase of his life, it means that he actually managed to get over with bitterness and chosen solitude after Kinloch, it means that he finally got a chance to live for himself with the person he loves by his side.

Mention that he didn’t start to rip her clothes off right after this realization, he’s still somewhat hesitant, the fists are clenched,“I suppose not. I want­­­­-”. Notice this little concerned pause after Quis knocks the bottle off his desk and then this one big “Fuck it” moment happens. Like all the pieces are suddenly fit - he trusts her, he loves her, he wants her, so no more doubts. The following *sweeping shit off the desk and expressing overwhelming feelings on top of the closest available surface* episode is an act of pure passion, fueled by strong feelings, that kind of passion when nothing except the person you truly want at this very moment matters, neither place nor past sexual experiences. And that’s why it’s completely irrelevant whether Cullen was a virgin prior to this scene or not.

[noona-clock]

iKonic Fairy Tales: Aladdin - Part 2

A modern fairy tale series in collaboration with @cramelot - stay tuned next week for the next story featuring a new member! ✨

Genre: Office!AU

Pairing: Hanbin x You

By Admin B

🧞 Part 1, 2, 3, 4

“Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho,” One chuckled as he stepped back from Hanbin, a more than satisfied smirk pulling at his lips. “You. Look. Incredible. If I do say so myself.”

When he stepped away from in front of the mirror, Hanbin almost jumped when he saw himself.

Hanbin’s typical wardrobe consisted of slightly worn-out jeans, lots of button-down shirts, sweatshirts, t-shirts... y’know. The kind of clothes he could actually afford.

But One had lent him an almost brand new, very well-fitted suit. A very shiny watch. And he’d combed his hair away from his forehead, a look he’d never actually tried before.

And... he had to admit.

He looked good.

You knew this whole party was for your benefit, but you still didn’t feel bad for hanging around the refreshments.

Because you were absolutely certain you would not meet your future spouse here tonight.

You honestly weren’t sure why your father thought you would because... well, he knew you.

He knew how independent and ambitious and career-focused you were. He knew being in a relationship was not quite the last thing on your list of priorities, but it was pretty far down there.

You gazed around the room as you popped another shrimp dipped in cocktail sauce into your mouth (you knew you wouldn’t be kissing anyone tonight, so what was the point in trying to keep your breath fresh?), your eyes searching for someone - anyone - you could talk to.

But... you knew nobody there.

Probably because you spent most of your time working instead of actually having a social life.

Just as you were reaching for another shrimp, though, you caught sight of...

Again, you didn’t know who he was because you didn’t know who anybody was, but...

Well, let’s just say you were intrigued enough to at least find out his name.

He was wearing a very well-fitted suit, and his dark hair was combed back, away from his forehead just the way you liked. (Yes, you didn’t have much of a social life, but you still knew how you liked a guy to style his hair, okay?) He looked somewhat nervous, but he also somehow looked confident and intelligent and sophisticated.

Before you could second guess yourself, you began to make your way over to him.

When you were about halfway to where he was standing, his eyes shifted and locked on yours. He immediately looked nervous, so you slowed your pace. You tended to have a bit of an authoritative walk which could probably be seen as intimidating; the last thing you wanted to do right now was to intimidate him. 

“Hi,” you greeted when you were close enough. You held out your hand, a soft, almost shy smile pulling at your lips. “I’m Y/N. I... don’t think I’ve seen you before.”

“H-hi,” he stammered, shaking your hand and gulping anxiously. “I’m... I’m Hanbin.”

“Hanbin,” you repeated. It felt nice to say. “Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, too,” he grinned.

And then you asked the typical question you asked anyone upon first meeting them: “What do you do?”

“I --” He paused for a few moments then continued on. “I’m... I founded an app. I’m the CEO -- or... whatever.”

“Oh, really?” you asked, intrigued. “Which one?”

“It’s, uh... it’s called Lamp.”

“Lamp,” you repeated, nodding slowly as you gazed at him in interest. “What’s the purpose?”

“It helps you determine if your house is running at peak efficiency, especially when it comes to the light bulbs you’re using,” he explained, seemingly becoming more comfortable. But you always did when you talked about your work, too.

“Oh, wow,” you gasped. “That’s really cool. I’m all about efficiency and being kind to the environment.”

“Well, of course,” he chuckled. “You work for AgriBar, the leader of eco-friendly alcohol.”

You paused, biting your lip to hold back a huge, goofy smile. “So... you know who I am.”

Hanbin’s eyes widened slightly, and his mouth opened and closed like a fish’s. “I -- I mean, I --”

“Do you like wine?”

“W--wine?” he stuttered.

“There’s this amazing wine we source. It’s made from a local vineyard about five miles away, grapes all organically grown... Do you want to try some?”

“I, um... I probably shouldn’t,” he chuckled awkwardly. “I drove here, so I -- I shouldn’t.”

Your eyebrows raised slightly, and you couldn’t help but be impressed. A man who respected the law and the safety of himself and others.

You instantly wanted to know more about him.

“So, would you like to... talk? Somewhere?” you asked a bit shyly.

Despite the surprised expression on his handsome face, Hanbin immediately answered, “Yeah. Yes. I would love to.”

It took you less than half an hour to decide you liked Hanbin.

Maybe not like that yet, but... you were definitely attracted to him. And very interested.

But besides his outward charm, he was very down-to-earth, extremely intelligent, and incredibly complex. He made you laugh, he made you think, he made you want to keep on talking to him.

When the party began to get too crowded and loud and stuffy, you suggested going for a walk outside. Hanbin agreed immediately, and your heart pounded as the two of you stepped through the doors.

You ended up where all the cars were parked, and you randomly remembered Hanbin saying he drove here tonight.

“Which one’s yours?” you asked, gazing out over the sea of Lexuses and BMWs and Audis and Teslas.

“Oh, umm... Th--that one,” he answered as he pointed to a jet black Nissan Leaf. “It’s nothing fancy, but Lamp is pretty small right now. And it’s electric, so easier on the Earth and my wallet.”

“Very commendable,” you grinned, nudging him a little with your shoulder. “I’ve actually never been in an electric car before. I usually take the bus or walk to work since I live pretty close by.”

“Really?” Hanbin asked, obviously surprised.

“Yes,” you chuckled. “I may be an ‘heiress’ but I’m not a spoiled, rich kid.”

“I -- I never said --”

“But you probably thought it.”

“...Actually, I was never really sure what to think about you. Besides the fact you’re --” He suddenly cut himself off, so of course you were dying to know what he’d been about to say.

“Besides the fact I’m what?” you asked with a smirk.

“Do you wanna go for a ride?”

Well, if his intention was to distract you, it worked. Tremendously.

“Ooh,” you gasped. “Yes, please!”

He fished his keys out of his pocket and led you over to his car, opening the passenger door for you once you got there.

“Do you get around the city much?” he asked after he took his spot in the driver’s seat.

“Honestly? ...No,” you blushed. “I’m too busy working, I’ll admit.”

“Good,” Hanbin grinned. “There’s a spot I’d like to show you. I go there when I want to clear my head or when I just want some peace and quiet.”

Aha. So he wanted some peace and quiet with you? That was a good sign.

“I would love to go there,” you said softly. You were tempted to reach over and take his hand, but 1) it was most likely too soon to make that move, and 2) he just put both his hands on the wheel as he began driving.

As Hanbin drove through the city, you had to admit you were thoroughly impressed with this car. You knew you sounded like a dork, but you couldn’t stop exclaiming about it.

Hanbin was blushing and constantly smiling and chuckling at your reaction, and that might have been a reason why you kept on going.

Because he was just so cute.

“Okay, where is this secret place of yours?” you asked after almost half an hour of driving.

“We’re almost there, I promise,” he assured you. “And I swear I’m not, like... driving you to some deserted spot to kill you.”

You were about to retort back with a teasing remark, but Hanbin spoke again before you could.

“Oh my god, that makes me sound like a creep. I am so sorry, I don’t know why I said that.”

“No, it’s fine,” you giggled. “You don’t seem like a creep. Trust me, I can spot one from a mile away. Especially guys who are only after me because I’m rich.”

But Hanbin was a CEO; even if he wasn’t as rich as you, he still wouldn’t be in need of more money. He was dressed nicely, and he drove a fairly nice car.

“Sometimes I just try to be funny and it comes out... dumb,” he chuckled.

“Hey, we all have our moments,” you assured him with a smirk.

“Okay, we’re here,” he announced, still looking a bit embarrassed. “Thank God.”

He stopped the car, and when you opened the door to get out, you saw he’d taken you up one of the small mountains along the border of the city. There was a scenic viewing area with benches, and Hanbin led you over to sit on one.

“Wow,” you breathed as you took in the lights of the city and the darkness of the sky sprinkled with twinkling stars. “This is... gorgeous. I can see why you’d want to come here to clear your head.”

You were both silent for a few moments, your eyes drinking in the peaceful view... but then Hanbin shifted, turning slightly toward you.

“Can I be honest?” he murmured, his voice just barely above a whisper.

“Of course,” you answered immediately. “I value honesty more than anything else.”

He paused, and you turned to look at him, your brow furrowed softly. He looked a bit nervous, so you wondered if he felt the same attraction as you did.

“I, um... Earlier. When I said I wasn’t sure what to think about you besides the fact you’re... What I was going to say was, ‘besides the fact you’re beautiful.’”

Your heart stopped momentarily, and you weren’t sure what to say in response...

So instead of saying anything you simply leaned in and - despite your shrimp breath - you kissed him.

Part 3

iKONic Fairy Tale Series: Aladdin | The Little Mermaid | Sleeping Beauty | Cinderella | Snow White | Rapunzel | Beauty & the Beast

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-Admin B

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