#how am I supposed to sleep at night knowing what I know...

[rootspiral]

Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 8 part 9

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4][5] ep6 [1][2][3] ep7 [1][2][3][4][5][6] ep8 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9])

knowing how ridiculous rio is, I fear she's going to make 'mourning agatha' her whole personality from now on

billy looking all chill like, so this is who agatha was boinking cool cool cool cool cool

and rio, honey. *deep sigh* you made a whole fucking deal about billy being an abomination. you can't just let him live now because you pinky promised your wife. especially bcs you're not even going to collect her. you're just going to be extremely emo about this whole thing, aren't you? MY BELOVED IS GONE SO I AM A SKULL NOW, I HAVE NO HUMANITY LEFT. babe. mourning is the most human thing you could do right now, who are we kidding.

(did they cgi the skull this time? it looks great tbh, that's what cgi should be used for, to enhance little things when it's needed, not to take over the whole process.)

this joke has been made a million times, but:

the Wanda Walk of Shame™

and yes while it is funny that he just gets in his subaru and leaves, what was he supposed to do?? just leave his car in westview? what if his mom and dad need it? how was he supposed to know he'd learn how to fly during the night?

how are we doing, bud? you've had a weird fucking day, haven't you

my parents were so worried!!! jeff and rebecca kaplan please adopt me

I love to snoop around billy's room. lorna wu and the wizard of oz, but also tarots, moon phases, astrology, esotericism and pride stickers galore. and jennifer's body!

now it's time for billy to do the math meme. the wicked witch is even wearing a brooch, it's not that hard to figure out

poltergeist II, haxan, buffy, rocky horror. does anyone know what's the poster on the right behind the lava lamp is, with the woman and the red devil?

AND. LAST BUT NOT LEAST. THE TRANS LIVES MATTERS FLAG.

carrie, the craft, saw. sindie and the spectres, never heard of that one. the incantations. evanescence, tove lo.

good morning, sleeping beauty!

agatha harkness: asshole, menace, toddler. now in ghost form!

eight episodes down, one to go. I'm not ready.

go to episode 9 part 1

[mattslilies]

✩ criminologist!reader - lets matt comfort her after seeing a bad scene ✩

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warnings: general descriptions of human remains/bodily fluid such as blood in context of a crime scene

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you couldn't sleep. you'd been laying awake in bed for god only knows how many hours, your boyfriend sleeping soundly beside you. he'd fallen asleep ages ago, curled up against your warm body.

you reached for your phone, seeing that the time read 3:56 am.

sighing you put your arm out to put it back onto the nightstand, your heart jumping when you accidentally knocked over matt's phone and water bottle, hearing them clatter to the floor.

swearing under your breath, you immediately got out of bed to pick up both items, as well as putting your own phone back onto the charger.

getting back under the covers, you were just about to thank all the gods that matt was a deep sleeper, when he started shifting next to you.

he rolled over to face you, blinking his eyes open and trying to make sense of the darkness surrounding you both.

"babe?"

"sorry, sorry, just knocked over some stuff off of the nightstand when i was trying to put my phone back." you quickly apologized, hating that you had woken him up.

you didn't want matt to know that you were having trouble sleeping, knowing that it would cause him to worry, and you hated when he did that, despite knowing it came from a caring place inside of him.

"what were you doing on your phone? 's the middle of the night."

you just shrugged, laying back down and resting your head on the pillow.

squinting, matt reached over and flicked on the lamp next to your bed. when the dim light shone on you two, he could very clearly make out the rapidly darkening circles under your eyes from lack of sleep.

"you never went to bed, did you?"

your silence was enough of an answer, and he sighed, but not a disappointed or annoyed sigh, a quiet one, filled with concern.

it wasn't often you had nights you couldn't sleep, or that you saw a case or a scene bad enough to rattle you, but matt had seen you through a few of them, and he knew what this meant.

you didn't often talk about your cases with matt, knowing he didn't stomach them as well as you did, but on nights like these, exceptions were made.

"cmere, baby." he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his chest, and it didn't take much more than that for you to begin crying. sobbing, really, which you would have considered embarrassing around anyone else.

"there was just so much blood, matt. and it wouldn't have bothered me so badly, but it was a kid, and their mom, just laying there. you're not supposed to realize how much blood can come out of a child."

he didn't say much, letting you cry, a hand rubbing your back and another one gently caressing the back of your head.

"and i can't sleep. i can't sleep because i can't get that image out of my head. they should be sleeping, safely, and they're not."

he kissed the top of your head, softly whispering. "i know, i know. it's horrible. i'm so sorry, baby. i'm so sorry you had to see that."

"i love my job, matt, i really do. this one just hit hard."

he gently lifted your face from his chest, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead before kissing your lips, and wiping tears away with his thumbs.

"i know you love your job, and you're damn good at it. cases will stick with you, baby, you see horrible things every day. i don't know how you do it, because i wouldn't be able to handle it. it makes you human. i'd be much more concerned if they didn't ever stick with you, although i hate that it gives you trouble sleeping."

you let out a small sigh, enjoying the comforting words and presence of your boyfriend. he really was your rock when you had difficult nights like these, and never failed to make you feel a little bit better. as you laid in his embrace, both the late hour and the exhaustion of crying caught up to you, and you let out a large yawn.

matt smiled down at you, kissing you again, before getting comfortable himself and pulling you against him.

"i've got you, baby, try to rest. it's going to be okay, tomorrow is going to be a better day."

when you closed your eyes for the final time that night, all you saw was peaceful darkness, clouded with love from your boyfriend, and you finally fell asleep.

[sayangrafayel]

Loft talk Pt. There's only one bed 🐦‍⬛🎨

Sylus, in Rafayel’s bed: Morning… how’d ya sleep last night?

Rafayel, knocking Sylus off: WHAT THE HELL?!

Sylus: Ow—

Rafayel: What were you doing in my bed? You were supposed to sleep on the air mattress on the floor!

Sylus: I had a nightmare.

Rafayel: You had a nightmare? What are you, five years old?

Sylus: Listen, I needed to feel comfortable and I was getting this perverse power dynamic vibe from me sleeping on the floor and you sleeping up there-

Rafayel, in a royal accent: Why yes, how high and mighty I am up on my twin XL!

Sylus: That is not what I meant—

Rafayel: Silence in the presence of your king, who sleeps a lofty twelve and a half inches above the ground!

Sylus: Listen, I’m not ashamed. I slept comfortably when I got up on your bed and I’m sure you did too.

Rafayel: Yeah, okay-

Sylus: You know what? I wanna know. How’d you sleep last night?

Rafayel: …That was the best I’ve slept in a while.

Sylus, gasping: The king slept comfortably with a peasant in his bed!

Rafayel: I did not consent to this-

Sylus, dramatically: But my liege, our love is forbidden!

Rafayel, on the phone: Hi, is this the front desk? Yeah, there’s a bed bug in my room and he’s six-foot-two, he’s got white hair.

[ranoutofficssoiwritemyown]

Gojo as a dad

genre: fluff a/n: not edited. took the idea from some tiktok which I lost and can't find anymore😭 so if you recognise it just drop the link in the comments

“Okay, that’s enough. Time to sleep” You pick up your toddler who’s been hyperactive all night. Maybe it has something to do with the white-haired male sitting on the floor looking up at you with a pout, mimicking his daughter’s expression.

“noo dada” whines Yuki and wriggles in your grasp.

“You know what, I’ll take her”

You raise your eyebrow at Satoru, feeling skeptical.

“You’ll take her to bed? You?”

“Hey, what is that supposed to mean? You’ll come with me right, my princess?” He asks her daughter before pecking her cheek causing her to giggle and nod eagerly.

“See?” Satoru holds out his arms for her and you give up.

“I swear if I hear any of you laughing I’ll be really mad.”

“How mad? the ‘raised eyebrow and grumbling to yourself’ mad or ‘you’ll kick me out of the bedroom’ mad?” You just look at him unimpressed.

“The last one it is,” he says and kisses your head leaving the room with your daughter. You can hear their laughter coming from the hall.

“I have two kids” you mumble and start picking up toys from the floor.

After 20 minutes you sit on the bed with the laptop on your lap and the glasses on, finishing up your work when you hear Satoru’s loud laugh coming closer to the bedroom door. You swear if he wakes Yuki up-

You couldn’t finish the thought when Satoru barged into the room with a very awake Yuki. You look at him incredulously.

“Wait, wait before you start shouting at me,” he says with a wide smile “Look what she learned”

Satoru then makes a bursting bubble noise with his mouth and Yuki with her toothless grin does the same, not quite similar but she’s trying. You have to admit, it is so cute she was trying to copy her dad, but she should be asleep right now. So you recomposed yourself, removing the smile that escaped your lips and glare at your husband.

“Oh, don’t be like that” he whined “She’s adorable”

“Give me my girl” You take her away from pouting Satoru and kiss her cheek “Come on love, let’s get you to bed.”

“But I-”

“You will go downstairs and make me coffee” You grin at him and leave the room.

When Yuki falls asleep you go to the kitchen to find Satoru at the table and he slides a cup of coffee to you when you sit beside him.

“You shouldn’t be drinking coffee this late”

“And you shouldn’t be doing everything I tell you but you still made me coffee”

“What can I say, a man can think he’s the strongest and then he meets his wife” He smirks and you peck his lips.

“How tragic”

“Tragic, indeed” he holds the back of your neck to keep you from moving away and places a kiss on your lips.

“Am I banned from the bedroom?”

You giggle

“No, you’re not. and…” You hesitate and play with the button on his shirt “And since I’m drinking coffee I might not be sleeping for a while… Any ideas on how to pass the time?”

You bat your lashes at him and he grins, leaning down again.

“A lot, darling. A lot” he says against your lips before kissing you.

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FROM WHEN HARRY MET SALLY *  assorted dialogue, adjust as necessary

i've been doing a lot of thinking, and the thing is, i love you.

i love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out.

i love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich.

i love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like i'm nuts.

i love that after i spend the day with you, i can still smell your perfume on my clothes.

i love that you are the last person i want to talk to before i go to sleep at night.

i came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

i'll have what she's having.

would you like to have dinner?

i thought you didn't believe men and women could be friends.

when did i say that?

i mean, come on, who the hell are we kidding?

most women at one time or another have faked it.

they haven't faked it with me.

that's right. i forgot. you're a man.

what was that supposed to mean?

it is so nice when you can sit with someone and not have to talk.

marriages don't break up on account of infidelity. it's just a symptom that something else is wrong.

you realize of course that we could never be friends.

men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.

that's not true.

i have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.

you only think you do.

they all want to have sex with you.

no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive.

i guess we're not going to be friends then.

you were the only person i knew in new york.

there are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance.

which one am i?

you're the worst kind.

you're high maintenance but you think you're low maintenance.

i just want it the way i want it.

you look like a normal person, but actually you are the angel of death.

don't you have a dark side?

when i buy a new book, i read the last page first.

if you could take him back now, would you?

why didn't he want to marry me?

what's the matter with me?

you're challenging.

i'm too structured. i'm completely closed off.

i drove him away.

how do you expect me to respond to this?

i'm leaving.

i don't have to take this crap from you.

what the hell does that have to do with anything?

are you finished now?

can i say something?

i'm sorry.

everybody thinks they have good taste and a sense of humor but they couldn't possibly all have good taste.

that is just like you.

you say things like that, and you make it impossible for me to hate you.

at least i got the apartment.

the first time we met, we hated each other.

we were friends for a long time.

it only took three months.

you will never have to be out there again.

i'm not going to tell you that.

i miss her.

you know what i miss? i miss the idea of him.

when did this happen?

you don't bounce back from that right away.

doesn't what i said mean anything for you?

i hate you, [name]. i really hate you.

what can i get you?

no one has ever quoted me back to me before.

you know, i'm so glad i never got involved with you.

i am not your consolation prize.

i wrote that.

you're going to have to try and find a way of not expressing every feeling that you have, every moment that you have them.

[mattsfootcramp]

'Its Just a Bell' M.S series

warnings: strong use of language, suggestive, mentions of abuse

(if you know anyone struggling with abuse please tell someone right the fuck away)

Summary: After the night the triplets arrived, y/n searched them up.. and then she fully. met matt

I walked down to my dad who was getting ready to go to our house for the night.. always leaving me in charge.

I grabbed the keys from his hand as he walked into his old ford truck that that sat in the middle of the parking lot.

As he drove off i grabbed my phone and type out 'Sturniolo Triplets' on to google.

What popped up shocked the hell out of me 7.28 million subscribers?!

Jesus Christ and they could afford a decent hotel?

Because my shift was the whole 12 hour night i decided to grab a chair and turn on a video.

Throughout the video there was some sort of connection towards matt, his smile, his hair, his jokes, his lips, his eyes, his tattoos..

Now although i had no idea who they were before this i felt like i knew them my whole life after i watched 2 videos..

Until i hear a grunt behind me.

I quickly shut my phone off and look behind me.

Matt. Sturniolo.

"uhm hi?" I quickly look around to see if his brothers are with him surprised their not.

"I couldn't sleep so i was wondering if you guys at least had coffee" He says walking more into the main building.

"its only for the employees but.. i mean i can make you one.." Although it was completely against the rules that didn't stop me from breaking them.

I mean for this hot ass guy id do anything. fucking. anything.

"really? you sure its no problem?" He replies.

"its literally just me brewing it.. i got you.." My accent deceives me.

I walk to the back and signal for him to follow me. I grab a coffee pod and place into the coffee maker.

"you know.. your nice. one of the nicest hotel workers iv meet" He draws an imaginary shape on the counter where stuff is stored.

"Its my accent. it portrays my personality differently. no one can take me seriously with it," i complain. sitting on the counter.

"hope you know its gonna take awhile. this coffee maker is older then the building." Making him laugh.

God his laugh.. the way he just smiles.. makes me think of how he would pound int- y/n no he's a customer.

"so im gonna assume you have a boyfriend?" He goes into a little serious emotion.

"what makes you assume that?" I smirks.

"i mean your like really ho- i mean- shit i didn't mean to like.. fuck i messed up" he covers his face in embarrassment

"Bold.. i like it. and no.. i don't have a boyfriend." I get off the counter ass the coffee maker comes to a stop.

"wait really? wait how old are you?" he makes a curious expression

"18.. about to turn 19 in like.. 5 days?" i grabs a few creams a sugars for him.

"wait your shitting me." he looks almost happy now that he knows my age

"nope!" i say with that fake ass smile.

"i probably should of lead with that question before anything.." he makes a little smile.

"yeah probably." I laugh a little with him.

"god I'm heading to fucking Texas tomorrow.. or in two days.. i don't really know" he sighs and leans his head on the wall

2 days?! how am i supposed to make a connection in 2 days?!

"so your an influencer.." I bites my lip gently. him taking notice.

He stands up straight and gently walks to me

"yeah.. you like that huh?" He squints his eyes with a little smirk.

He puts both his arms on either side of me trapping me into the counter.

"i-.. uh.." I got so flustered.. fuck. I'm blushing to hard at this.

"well? gonna answer m-" He gets cut off by the bell signaling that the door opened.

"you uhm wait right her ill be back" I walk out and see my dad frantically looking for something

"uhm? what are you looking for?" i cross my arms at the front desk

"my lighter. have you seen it" he looks up at me with that look. the look of drunkenness.

"no.. dad.." i go quiet. not wanting to make him mad. especially when matt is in the back of this building.

"god your fucking useless. fuck. i bet you fucking took it because you so mother fucking greedy." he yells at me. making me flinch. making him scoff and leave.

At least he didn't hit me that time.

I walk back into the back. matt has a look of concern.

"what just happened" he questions once im in view or him.

"you should.. you should go before he comes back.. I'm fine though thanks." I look down at the floor the whole time

"Can i.. give you a hug?" he walks a little forwards

I nod and he closes the gap between us and wraps his arms around me. and in this moment i feel the safest iv ever felt around a man in my whole life. i felt hope about everything. makes me feel like a little kid on Christmas with her little barbie truck. Jesus Christ i might fall for him.

a/n: thank all of you guys for being sooo patient with me❤️❤️ luv you guys soo much

Taglist:

@iluvjakeyy @spicybabysworld @monroesturnns @sturniolo-fann @bernardsbendystraws @hysteria-things @ashlishes

[theprinceandthewitch]

I didn't think the Bible and The Pilot would make Sense and Insensitivity even more suspicious than it was... but it did...

The Lunter kiss really is going to haunt me forever...

[hanzajesthanza]

the headcanon that regis can hang from the ceiling to sleep or rest like a bat is funny on its own, but when i consider geralt and others in the hanza holding conversations with him like this, it’s made better by my understanding of this as just an advanced “neurodivergent sitting” technique

[coridallasmultipass]

brocal for the ship bingo?

The OTP to end all other OTPs... (Man. This wound up being basically Cori's Masterpost of BroCal. AKA... this got long and has some images, since I realized I can post my own art directly instead of just a text link to it lol.)

Wasn't actually expecting this to wind up with a bingo? But I got basically 2?? (Will explain the lighter heart later.) This is A LONG post, and definitely gonna get SUGGESTIVE, bc man, am I obSESSED with BroCal. I'm just gonna go thru each checked box, since I don't know how else to structure this post lol.

Read More to save ppl's dashboards:

I want them to make out with blood: OKAY. I HAVE A WHOLE THING PLANNED FOR THIS CONCEPT. I AM NOT GOING TO GO INTO DETAIL ABOUT IT JUST YET BC I ACTUALLY WANNA WRITE IT. I'm obsessed with this one fanart of Bro licking Lil Cal, and it spurred on an idea I outlined and really wanna write: https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/739969858334294016/hiiii-mutual-i-am-secrecy-asking-if-u-have-anymore

((Sorry for the plain text links, Tumblr app is NOT cooperating with me right now to add hyperlinks. I'd post the image directly if that one was mine.))

Basically, I just really need to see Bro and Cal making out with blood in their mouths, and I started a whole convoluted, unrelated outline in order to make that hapen. It'll probably just be a really short thing that ends at the uh climax, since otherwise it's gonna end up sadstuck. And I don't like sadstuck lol.

Undeniably t4t: Bro and Dirk are always trans for me, and Lil Cal's got that uh... what percentage did I calculate it out to be? 13% of Dirk is in Lil Cal [ My shitpost calculations: https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/746702663327072256/i-ran-out-of-tags-rambling-about-this-so-im-just ] so Lil Cal is at least 13% trans because of that much of Dirk being in him, plus however you feel about the other components being trans. LMAO this is ridiculous to type out. Moving on.

EDIT: FUTURE CORI INTERJECTING WITH A:

"Lil Cal Top Surgery Healing Progess: Day 1"

Terrible for each other affectionate/derogatory: I don't even know where the affectionate/derogatory split occurs. I multiship BroCal as both Bro/normal puppet Lil Cal and as Bro/evil juju puppet Lil Cal, and whatever combination in between or outside of that. Terrible in that Bro is so obsessed with Cal that he doesn't have normal relationship/social skills and uses Lil Cal as both a crutch and motivator alternately, in a terrible cycle, or maybe rather... spiral. And also terrible in that Bro is caught in the allure of playing the role of puppeteer while also being a puppet for the darker parts of Lil Cal, whether he actively knows it or not. (Honestly though, I feel like it's dismissive if you try to blame all of Bro's faults on Lil Cal like this tho, which is why I tend towards liking Lil Cal as just a regular puppet a lil bit more. Or at least, a regular mildly supernatural puppet since that can be a little more entertaining if Cal can get into mischief while no one's looking or give off the vibes of his mood more directly, rather than like entirely inanimate or 'just LE, trapped in a puppet body.' Again, I like all of these concepts.) ((I mean that can also be a whole post of its own, like, by the time Bro gets ahold of Lil Cal, are any of the other components still alive in there? Like, are ARquius and Gamzee still in there or did Caliborn kill and consume them entirely? Idk how it works, man. This is why I like Lil Cal as his own person, maybe just influenced by the feelings of the others. LaCroix: CalGamARquius essenced water. Lil Croix.))

They need to get weirder with it: YES YES. 1000% YES. I need entirely shameless Bro doing entirely shamless things to Lil Cal. I want them inseparable and doing unspeakable things to each other. I want Bro taking full advantage of Cal having a puppet body and all the intimacy that comes with making repairs and being elbow-deep in stuffing.

Playing with them like dolls cute/psychological torture: This is the same divide as with the 'terrible for each other' point, so I'm just gonna go with the cute one, since the torture one is self-explanatory. I want them fucking married. Like. Full mushy cute romance type of relationship that Bro has never felt for any of the people in his life (cough aromantic cough). I made this comic not too long ago, and I often fondly look back on it, because I adore the concept of Bro being lovey and romantic and everything out of character around Lil Cal because he feels safe and loved and comfortable around Cal:

[ https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/750602227910131712/brocal-4-lyfe-so-i-had-this-idea-of-dave-being ]

I made a post a long, long time ago (not gonna link that one bc it was personal and I was being very obviously mentally ill ["C'mon, like you're not being obviously mentally ill while typing paragraph upon paragraph about BroCal still in 2024 like 10 years later??" Fair.]) But the gist of it was that, like, having objectophilia or objectum sexuality is like, from an outsider pov, it's a way to express love to yourself. You filter all your self-hate through the object you love, and you get back unconditional love in return.

Lil Cal is never gonna hate Bro, no matter what Bro does. As a regular puppet, Lil Cal doesn't have the capacity for hate. And so that only brings them closer, since Cal is never gonna reject Bro for any reason. (Back to being a crutch. RSD is real, and Dave is probably a big trigger for that since he's not on the same wavelength of weird as Bro [not blaming Dave, obviously, this is a post about BroCal].) Bro can experience receiving positive attention from Lil Cal, without feeling 'fake' or uncool by expressing that same attention or affection directly to his own self. (Things are always done through multiple layers with the Striders, aren't they?) ((And I'm not saying Lil Cal doesn't love Bro, or that their relationship is just pretend - it's real, I'm just like, 'What's going on behind the curtain in the mundane situation?/ How is the relationship appealing?' Lil Cal luvs Bro 5eva 4 lyfe and that's a hard fact. Could cut diamonds with that shit.)) Example: maybe Bro is dealing with a bout of body/gender dysphoria and is trying to take out his frustration with working out, and it's not helping, even if he's powered through a set better than normal. Then, he notices the way Lil Cal is watching him, and he can feel the excitement seeping off Cal. He can sense the echoes of a wolf-whistle ring out through his mind, and it's like. Okay, none of that shit from before matters, he's got all the validation he needs right there in Lil Cal. Maybe flex in Cal's direction, Bro?

Oh, so back to being cute: isn't it wonderful how the template maker phrased it as 'playing dolls'? But yeah, I want all the mush and everything. Bro has a whole wardrobe for Lil Cal for every minor event that occurs in the Strider household. I want them going on genuine dates. Maybe even... holding hands. Bro blushes for the first time since he was 16. He even gets to take Lil Cal with him when he goes out to DJ or put on a show. Not to mention the whole website business. (I've talked about Cal's role in that before, but I'll mention it in a moment...)

They will die in a heart shaped pool of blood: I mean, kinda did happen, even tho Lil Cal didn't perma die right there. I don't think this one needs any explanation, since it basically happens in canon.

'You should see the other guy...': Okay, so. About 11 years ago, I had a really great idea. About how smuppets enter this world. I expanded on it in the following more-recent post (adult only content lol): https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/741683686717669376/back-in-the-day-my-friends-called-me-insane-when-i

To sum it up, whenever Bro makes a new smuppet design, he then gives it a video debut on his website, where uh, Lil Cal births the smuppet like it's a horror movie scene, fake blood and poly-fil gore all over the place as the smuppet crawls out from the viscera. Bro then gets to play aftercare by lovingly and gently cleaning up and restuffing Lil Cal as they get to admire their new creation and rake in the dough lol.

So it's technically not a 'you should see the other guy' kinda situation, but it does involve one of them being... idk what word would describe it. Injured by the other? Usually a character loses a fight and says this to act like they got out of it better than the other guy, but... We could have someone knock on the door during the filming of a scene like that, and Bro has to answer it with fake blood up to his elbows, and be like 'You should see the other guy.' (But obviously, that's a terrible idea and would cause more trouble than it's worth... Maybe worth it for a persistent door to door salesperson, though.)

Though, I guess I should also say, I'm not opposed to Bro beating on Lil Cal in or out of the bedroom. Or in the case of animate Lil Cal, Cal choking out Bro. In or out of the bedroom, lol. Depends on the situation, like I said I will ship this ship any which way. But my preference for animate Lil Cal is to be like a totally normal puppet around Bro (or mushy in-love with Bro) and then evil-murder-puppet towards anyone else in Bro's life, like a... toxic yaoi guard puppet. (New Phrase Achievement Unlocked!) Bro brings home another guy to have sex, who tries to stay the night due to the late hour, but the guy wakes up shortly after to see Lil Cal standing there with a knife in the dark, eyes glowing red. Panic ensues when the guest screams and freaks out, and by the time Bro's got a light on, grabbing his sword, ready for a ninja vs ninja fight (bc an intruder would've had to bypass all the traps), Lil Cal is just innocently splayed across the desk chair, no knife in sight. Relevant post (well, the caption on the post too, saying how Bro can't seem to hold onto any relationships besides Lil Cal):

[ https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/741830516962164736/i-want-you-so-youre-mine-always-selfishly ]

Uh, lol, also Cal choking out Bro in the bedroom, adult only drawing: https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/754328907438800896/i-wouldnt-wanna-be-my-ex-when-he-found-out-who

Thinking about them always and forever: Listen. My Tumblr as proof, I've had BroCal on the brain for at least 11 years at this point. Definitely longer, since I first started reading Homestuck. I fucking love puppets and dolls and plushies and I always have. Man, if I hadn't deleted Tweets (automated app I used to do, and I couldn't choose what to save) from when I was in high school, you could've seen me @ ing my fave band when they were taking lyric suggestions on a fan-inspired album, where I was telling them 'make a song where the theme is puppets' and, while I don't know if they saw that or took the suggestion (they had responded to me before bc they weren't huge yet), there is indeed a song titled "Puppets" on that album, and it was my favourite song on there. Point is, I was fated to ship BroCal before I even knew it existed.

Sicko 2 sicko communication: I mean, does this even need explaining? Bro and Cal aren't just on the same wavelength of freaky, they're the fucking source of the wavelength, and it's causing a feedback loop between them. And it does as feedback does, which is, it amplifies with time. (Going back to the spiral symbolism here, lol.) ((Actually, time can play a symbol here, too, I guess, but idk how to word it, I'm starting to run out of steam.))

Let them have a happy ending: God, I need this so badly. I know Bro's story ends in Homestuck, but like. Pls. Someone needs to officiate their wedding. Currently placing the dreambubble order, but I can't organize a wedding by myself. OH speaking of. In that lil comic I did above, where Bro is accepting Lil Cal's proposal, I had the Natural Born Killers wedding scene in mind. I was gonna draw that as a follow up, but I think I have too many WIPs going. Just two people on the run, saying "I do" in a scenic but completely ordinary roadside location. Idk why, I keep going back to that movie for things related to Bro (I mention it in a very important scene in a longer WIP I've been writing, as something Bro watched and internalized as a kid lol.) It's not the best movie lol. Anyway.

The devotion omg: I feel like I have already gotten my point across about this, but let me reiterate:

[ https://coridallasmultipass.tumblr.com/post/735842968450269184/in-the-name-of-iconic-magical-girl-anime-ill ]

Bro and Lil Cal absolutely beat the shit outta Jack Noir before he gets prototyped. And even then, they fight together till the death, like. C'mon. Nothing more romantic than fighting a losing battle side by side. Also, like, Lil Cal having his own protective chest for safekeeping as seen in the Strider living room? Like, you don't just have a protective case for any old thing, especially something meant to be handled, especially something that is regularly used to smack other things/humans. What I'm saying is, Lil Cal is durable and resilient, and yet, Bro still has a case for transporting Cal safely. Oh, wait, I just thought of something funny, what if Lil Cal goes feral like a cat, and basically the chest is like a cat carrier so Bro can drive without being constricted lmaoooo, I've been typing for hours can you tell?

Kind of homophobic: Listen. I HAD a Cal. Took him to college. Staked my claim on the top bunk bc I am royalty. Proceeded to not have anywhere to set my water cup and had to use a cardboard box as a table up there. Spilled water. Melted Cal's sharpie-drawn face. And then proceeded to cry. I have a WIP of Lil Cal 2, but that requires actually remembering to work on him. I wanna do better by the pattern, too, since I rushed to finish the first. I have all the material! I have the project started! So it's just a matter of reordering my WIP priorities, honestly.

Where is all the fucking content?!: For realzz. I was actually venting about this the other day (didn't end up posting it), but it's like, either there's no BroCal content, or there IS BroCal content, but I can't reblog it for reasons I don't want to get into on this post. I'm dying of thirst in the ocean, basically. Whatever. This just means I need to make more BroCal content myself, which I am more than happy to do. I've just had a rough past few months, so I'm glad I got to type all this post out, and hopefully I can get back to creating soon.

Last one! I hope this one makes up for the absurd length of the post, it's prob my new fave idea I just came up with on the spot.

[TW drink spiking by a stranger mentioned in this.]

Committing atrocities as their silly little activities: I think we all know what this means, but I am going to ignore that elephant with my special x-ray vision. Because this is a BroCal post. I'm digging deep to the meat and bones of this. Honestly, this could go multiple routes, it depends on how you take your Lil Cal.

One could place emphasis on the 'guard' part of the, ahem ahem, toxic yaoi guard puppet. Maybe someone is actually trying to harm Bro, and Bro legit can't do anything for reasons outside of his control - let's say his drink got spiked a while after he invited a stranger home that he thought was chill. As Bro gets shoved down on the futon, his memory of the night is only a few flickers. Familiar orange plush, roiling around above him like a dancing windsock. Flashes of Lil Cal's face all distorted and stretched wide like a funhouse. J-Lo and Ice Cube on the TV. But when Bro is finally able to fully wake up in the morning, everything is as if he just got home alone last night and passed out on the futon. Cal looks totally normal and content tucked under Bro's warm arm. Except when Bro gets up, there is a pair of shoes too big to belong to him at the door. Maybe Bro knows. Maybe instinct tells him to run. Maybe he does, but he's running towards Lil Cal, every time.

[maj0rmayhem]

Really feeling that post abt how yearning and loneliness is great until you're curled up on your bed whimpering at the ache in your chest like a wounded dog. are we cooked chat.

[keeps-ache]

think this is funny. anyway. the Thoughts are back at it again

[euclydya]

The heartache has finally stopped. Perhaps because I'm not apart of their little group?

[lucyvaleheart]

.

[knifegremliin]

on my hands and knees begging for my body to let me sleep. please. please. just let me fucking sleep what do you WANT FROM ME.

[caruliaa]

literally why am always like. feeling so inhernetly inferior to everyone

[phagodyke]

istg one of these days.......