#they better fucking let me go home tomorrow tho bc i made plans

[nobodybetterlookatme]

i hope you’re safe in your line of work. i’m sure it’s very difficult work and dangerous. it’s also very hot and sexy that you’re a firefighter so it’s really cool that you’re so brave

Well I'm still not dead so that's safe enough I guess lmao but this shit keeps dragging on, like it's crazy 😭 the work usually isn't too bad when we're not on incidents tho, like it's mainly just training and playing in the dirt ahdkaksk it's not as cool and sexy as you think it is unfortunately 😔 but I like to pretend it is and I have fun for the most part so that's all that really matters tbh lmao

[wabblebees]

.

[twodimecastle]

fifty bucks & six months.

spencer reid x gender neutral reader new relationship, secret keeping nonsense, 4.5k words, ao3 a/n; turns out i love writing texting fic but tumblr destroys the formatting rip

zero months.

You smile conspiratorially, extending a pinkie towards Spencer and he gives you a skeptical look.

“You know the odds of being found out immediately are-” he starts, but you cut him off.

“Astronomical, I know. I know. But don’t you think it’ll be fun to see how long we can push it?” you wheedle, not caring that your voice sounds more like begging than is strictly dignified because seeing the way Spencer’s nose crinkles in amusement at your heavy handed persuasion is too adorable to pass up. You scoot closer on the couch, tapping the end of his nose with your pinkie finger, letting him catch your hand between his as you continue “I think we’ve got a good shot at hiding it for a little while. It would be like a game.”

Spencer draws your captive hand to his lips, brushing them across your knuckles and watching fondly as you forge ahead in your campaign to persuade him, enjoying the show and the attention too much to tell you he’s already on board. Your eyes are shining with the prospect of the caper, and you’ve made no move to take your hand back from him, and Spencer’s pretty sure he’d be more than happy to sit with you in this moment forever. “I mean-” you go on, gesturing animatedly with your free hand, “you’re like-a really good liar when you want to be. And everyone else always forgets how good you are at it.”

He snorts at that and the sound makes you light up, eyes tracking the arch of his brows, the warmth in his soft brown eyes, memorising the way he looks like this; utterly unbothered, completely at ease. It might be your favourite version of him, but that race has always been a tight one with no clear winner in sight. You have lots of favourite versions of Spencer. Twisting your hand in his, you tangle your fingers together, savouring the way you feel his thumb glide delicately along your skin and the unhidden joy in his face at the simple show of affection.

Time to play your trump card.

“$50 says we can hide it from the whole group for at least six months. If everyone figures it out before then, you win. But if not everyone has worked it out by then, I win.”

The mischievous shine in your eyes is irresistible, and Spencer smiles, disentangling one of his hands from yours to extend his own pinky finger.

“You’re on.”

The words barely make it out of his mouth before you’re colliding with him, pressing your lips to his.

two months.

“So, how long has this whole thing been going on?” Derek’s question catches Spencer off guard, and, based on the way he can see you freeze in his peripheral vision, takes you by surprise as well. Sliding into the driver's seat of the SUV, Derek continues “I hope you didn’t think you were gonna be able to keep me in the dark for long, pretty boy. You should know better than that.”

Following mechanically after him, Spencer takes the passenger seat, trying to frame his next statement as carefully as possible as he hears your door close and the car start. “We were-going to tell you guys-” he begins uncomfortably, glancing back to you for support, but you look just as on edge as he feels. “We were just gonna-keep it to ourselves for a while-before telling Hotch and everything-” he tries again, the mounting tension levering his shoulders higher and higher with every passing moment, but then Derek just laughs, shaking his head.

“Hey, I’m happy for you, kid. For both of you.” He spares a look at you in the back seat through the rear view mirror, and you can feel the tension in your jaw relax, the furrows in your brow straightening out at the note of approval in Derek’s voice. “I’m glad you two finally figured it out,” he says, fondly, and you laugh.

“I bet Spence we could keep it from you guys at least six months,” you explain, reaching forwards through the centre console to link your pinky with Spencer’s, and the touch of your hand releases the last of the tension he had been harbouring as he covers your hand with the other one of his own. He knows Derek clocks the motion, filing it away in his mind somewhere, but he doesn’t care about the scrutiny so much right now. Not when your hand is so warm and comfortable in his.

Derek reaches for the dial on the radio and flicks through the channel, thinking about something, and as you watch, a slow mischievous smirk spreads across his face a moment later before he glances first at Spencer and then at you.

“I’ll tell you what,” he says to you, and Spencer can feel a familiar grin tugging at his own lips as he watches a plan take shape in his friend’s eyes. “I’m happy to sit on this information for a while for a cut of the winnings from whichever one of you comes out on top.” He snorts good naturedly as he continues “I have my own bet to win with Prentiss, so if you two help me win that one, I’ll cut you in too.”

“A quid pro quo of sorts,” Spencer says slowly, and he feels your fingers tighten around his, as you snort softly, and he knows instinctually you’re grinning the same way you always do when you’re winning a game. “I think we can do that.”

Derek grins, turning the music up as he nods, eyes on the road. “Then you two love birds have got yourselves a deal.”

two months and two weeks.

PG: youre not as slick as you think you are ;)

YN: ???

PG: ;))))))))) you should invest in some concealer for your work bag sweetness or tell the good doctor to pay more attention to whats visible in your work clothes

YN: oh my fucking god wait how do you even know thats how that happened

PG: im all knowing and all seeing im like the omnipotent goddess of the fbi

YN: derek blabbed

PG: he sang like a canary but also im an omnipotent goddess im also totally clued in on the whole bet situation with em so for the low low price of every single juicy detail about how this adorableness went down you can buy my silence :)

YN: im getting derek decaf coffee on all coffee runs from now on >:( traitors dont get caffeine

PG: darling sweet angel i need deets all of them like immediately

YN: >:( fine ok so. after that case down in georgia a few months ago? the weird one? with the creepy mother son thing?

PG: omg yuck pls dont remind me im here for the CUTENESS not the MURDER

YN: sorryyyyyyy anyway so spence was like being super weird about it all on the plane and whatever but he was doing that super annoying thing where he ignores it and says hes fine so everyone leaves him alone

PG: YEAH why does everyone here do that ALL THE TIME its SO annoyingggg

YN: ikr its insufferable and like super not subtle ANYWAY. spence was being weird and whatever and i just. refused to let him sulk on his own or whatever like i could tell there was something bothering him and so after work i insisted that we were gonna get like shitty diner food or whatever and watch a movie and he knows better than to say no to me

PG: smart boy

YN: so we got fries and milkshakes and then went back to his place to watch a movie and he was still like weird and silent and like brooding yknow? but whatever just figured hed talk about it when he was ready so i put on a movie and offered to make popcorn and then he was just staring at me and he looked so SAD and TIRED and i thought id done something wrong like the poor guy looked like he was gonna cry and i was panicking over fucking popcorn and then he says ‘why are you always so nice to me?’

PG: oh my god hes like if a sad victorian orphan was actually a triplicate phd holder

YN: i was SO thrown off i was like spencer. spencer were best friends. ive been forcing you to hang out with me for years now why do you THINK im being nice to you its bc i care about you asshole and then. like after another million years after letting me sweat it out over whether hes about to cry for like fucking years the asshole grabs my hand and says. i shit you not. ‘you know im in love with you, right?’ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PG: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YN: anyway hes my boyfriend now :’) dont tell anyone tho gotta win the bet

four months.

Lingering by the elevator, you glance around at the uncharacteristically silent office building, waiting for Spencer to leave the bullpen. The sound of his footfalls drawing nearer makes you smile and you mentally applaud yourself for suggesting the two of you remained behind after disembarking from the plane, taking advantage of the manufactured privacy to take the same car home, back to his apartment.

When he sees you waiting for him, he can’t help the soft fond smile that tugs at his face, as he reaches for your hand, sliding his fingers into yours with a gentle squeeze, the quiet of the building allowing him to indulge in the show of affection. You return the squeeze, leaning your head on his shoulder with a yawn and as he presses a fond kiss to your temple he’s rewarded by a sleepy hum of approval from you that sends a rush of quiet joy shooting through him.

“At least we won’t be sleeping in hotel beds again tonight,” you say, voice weary, and Spencer nods as he shuffles you into the elevator. The doors slide shut and the elevator starts to move and in the moment of absolute privacy, you steal a kiss, tilting your chin up to catch his lips with yours, revelling in the soft huff of surprise he lets out, even as he smiles against your mouth. Even after months, the simple act of kissing Spencer still feels new and thrilling somehow, like you can’t quite believe it’s something you’re allowed to do.

His nose brushes yours and he breathes “unless something big comes up, we get a sleep in tomorrow too,” and the way you beam at him sends his heart racing in his chest, unable to look away from the fondness shining in your eyes.

As the two of you exit the elevator and make your way through the Bureau car park, you tuck yourself against his side, wedging yourself under his arm with a happy sigh, eager to get yourself horizontal and asleep as fast as possible. Spencer brushes his lips against your temple again as the two of you close in on his car, almost free and clear of the office when a voice behind the two of you brings you up short.

“Reid?”

Spencer is reacting before his mind catches up, turning on his heel towards the sound of Hotch’s voice echoing through the parking lot, conscious of the incriminating way you’re still tucked against his side, even as his brain is rifling frantically through any possible excuses for the current circumstances.

“Hotch-” you step away from Spencer, cheeks flaming, not wanting to chance a look at him. “I-we-thought everyone else had gone home,” you trail off lamely, trying your hardest not to balk under Hotch’s ominously impassive scrutiny. A second passes, then another, and the short silence feels like months, or years even as the three of you stand locked in a stalemate.

“I take it the two of you would prefer to keep this under wraps?” He asks, finally, and it registers with Spencer, somewhat belatedly, that Hotch’s tone isn’t admonishing. It isn’t enough to dissipate the tension coiling in Spencer’s muscles just yet, but he spares a glance at you as he nods, and a moment later, Hotch gives the two of you a curt nod of his own. “I’ll tell you what,” he says, a shade of irony colouring his voice. “If you two fill out the paperwork for in-team relationships for me, I’ll keep it to myself. I understand privacy is hard to come by in our office.”

The words take a while to fully sink in, and you’re conscious that you’re standing there blinking and gaping at your boss like a bemused fish for a good few seconds before you’ve composed yourself enough to say “absolutely, sir. Of course. Thank you.”

Hotch nods again, heading towards his own car, and as he passes the two of you, a brief smile flashes across his face.

“Congratulations, you two. Get some sleep.”

four months and three weeks.

Spencer isn’t sure how late it is, but he knows you’re not asleep yet, the faint glow of your phone screen casting faint distorted shadows across his room as your free hand rests lightly on his chest. In the dark blue twilight of his room, the space feels undefined and dream like somehow, the line between his mind and his surroundings blurry or indistinct somehow, and as you huff out a near silent laugh at something on the screen in your hand, a thought rises to the surface of his thoughts like flotsam on an unwanted tide.

The more clinical part of his mind notes the autonomic response in his body, the way his heart lurches unpleasantly in his chest, heart rate rising with an influx of cortisol through his nervous system, automatically rifling through ways to control the anxiety response. Age old instinct surges forwards, starting to push his spiralling anxiety down out of sight so as not to bother you with it, but then your hand shifts infinitesimally on his chest, fingers curling in the soft fabric of his pyjama shirt, and for once his body is miles ahead of his brilliant mind, your name is leaving his lips before he’s really aware of it happening.

Your gaze flashes up from your phone at the sound of his voice, soft and hesitant, and you let the screen go dark as you set it down. You can feel Spencer’s heart hammering against his ribs under your palm, and your brows knit together in concern as you shift closer to his side, tracing gentle circles over his shirt with your fingertips, the repetitive motion intended to soothe, though you’re not sure if it’s for his benefit or yours.

“Yeah, baby?” You ask softly, working hard to keep the rising worry from your voice. After three years of friendship and almost six months of dating, you know him well enough to sense when his propensity for overthinking and catastrophizing is slipping out of his control. You can feel his chest rise as he inhales sharply, whatever he’s about to say cut off by second guessing, doing nothing to pacify your concern. “Spence? Is everything okay?” You ask again.

“This-bet-hiding our relationship-it’s-” he trails off, throat tight as he rolls onto his side, facing away from you, and smushing his face into the pillow, already wishing he hadn’t said anything. You’re the kindest person he’s ever met, but offering up this kind of raw insecurity feels like pulling teeth. Even if it’s you. Especially if it’s you. He doesn’t know if he’s ready to find out if you care about him enough to stay when his racing mind gets the better of him. The pillow muffles his voice as he says “never mind.”

You feel your own heart rate tic up in response to that, matching the wild beat of Spencer’s that you could feel under your palm only a second ago. “Baby, talk to me. What’s on your mind?”

He shakes his head, face still hidden in the pillow. “It’s stupid.”

He can feel the rush of your breath on his back as you sigh, and your voice is almost achingly patient as you say softly “it’s not stupid if it matters to you.” There’s a long pause, and you press yourself against his back, settling close and letting your hand slide over his side to rest on his chest, the heat of his skin sinking into yours even through his thin shirt. In spite of his height, he feels so small as you wrap yourself around him, drawing closer, trying to reassure him without yet knowing what he needs to be reassured of. “Spence?”

“Are you ashamed of-being with me? Is that why you want to hide it?” The words are almost whispered, the sound almost lost against his pillow and your heart sinks, plummeting faster and further than if you’d dropped it off the side of a skyscraper. You should’ve known he might worry about that, should have realised it might have felt that way. Remorse rises hot and bitter in your throat and you swallow it down, trying to steady your voice.

“Spencer. Sweetheart. No. Never. I could never be ashamed. I love you. I’m so sorry.” Your arms wrap more tightly around him and you bury your face against the crook of his neck, the tension you can feel in every inch of his body making you feel more cruel and short-sighted than you already do. “I’m sorry I didn’t realise it might feel like that. I could never be ashamed of being with you, Spence. You’re my favourite person.” He takes the kind of shaky, shallow breath that comes with trying not to cry and your heart breaks a little more as one of his hands slowly moves to cover yours where it rests against his chest, just over his heart.

As his hand rests over yours, his thumb strokes lightly along your knuckles, and he knows you know him well enough to notice the way his hand trembles, just a little, because then your hand is shifting against his, turning to clumsily tangle your fingers with his, holding tighter to him as he tries to collect himself, drawing in a deep, shuddering breath as his eyes squeeze shut. He can hear the contrition in your voice as you say softly “I’ve never really liked having people know everything about what’s going on in my life. And I love our friends but-something like this, that’s so-special? So new? I wanted to be able to keep it to just us for a while.”

“I’m sorry.” His voice comes out a little shaky, scarcely more than a whisper, and it’s more than you can take as you pull back and gently force him to roll over to face you. He’s not crying, but his eyes are glassy and you recognise the fight to keep the tears unshed in the tight set of his jaw and the hard line of his lips. Leaning on your elbow, you lift your free hand to gently smooth out the furrows of his brow, letting your fingers linger along the planes of his face.

“Why are you sorry,” you ask gently. “You don’t need to be sorry, baby. Not for talking to me about things that bother you. We can tell everyone else tomorrow, if you want? We can call off the bet. Derek will live. If he’s got a problem with it I’ll turn all his shirts into crop tops.”

He can tell the joke is a last bid attempt to make him smile, to ease his fear, and it works. In spite of the anxious weight in his chest that feels like it’s pressing him into the mattress, Spencer laughs weakly, meeting your eyes, and he watches as a relieved smile breaks across your face, releasing your lower lip from where you’d trapped it worriedly between your teeth. The unmitigated affection that floods into your eyes renders him momentarily breathless as he takes in the moment. You’re still here, still trying to take care of him. Just as kind and steadfast as ever.

“No,” he says eventually, wrapping his arms around you, pulling you down on top of him like a living weighted blanket, letting your warmth chase the bulk of the tension from his body and luxuriating in the way you curl into him, one hand sliding into his hair. “We shouldn’t call off the bet. We still have to take Emily’s money, remember?”

Your sleepy laugh is the last thing he hears before his eyes close and the feel of your body wound around his lulls him to sleep.

five months.

SR: Can I talk to you about something?

DM: you dying or something? that’s a really fuckin ominous text to recieve out of the blue

SR: I’m not dying, why would that be what you assumed? I just have a question.

DM: just a figure of speech but what’s up?

SR: It’s about your bet with Emily. What’re the terms for it?

DM: wym?

SR: What exactly did you two make the bet about? What needs to happen in order for you to win the bet?

DM: does this count as collusion?

SR: Technically yes, but calling it collusion implies a certain degree of illegality.

DM: whatever anyway the terms i made with em were that you’d make some kind of move before your birthday but she reckoned you were gonna need some kind of near death experience to do anything about your crush why?

SR: I’m just making sure I have all the information.

DM: what’s going on pretty boy? you planning something?

SR: Maybe.

DM: not a helpful answer reid is everything good?

SR: Everything’s fine. We’re just figuring some stuff out. Nothing to worry about.

DM: is there something you’re not telling me?

SR: Don’t worry about it.

five months, three weeks and six days.

In the chaos that was the scramble from the briefing room to the jet, you haven’t yet had the chance to speak to Spencer about the outcome of his most recent thesis defence panel. By the time you’ve got a moment to breathe, the jet is underway, coasting across the country towards Montana, the whole team settled in for the six hour flight. You corner him in the tiny kitchen area of the jet as he’s making a mug of mediocre coffee, fingers tapping out an absent minded rhythm on the countertop as the coffee machine whirs, clearly not paying attention to anything outside of his head.

“Hey, boy genius.” He jumps, whirling around, eyes wide with surprise, and you smile fondly. “So?” You demand, and Spencer raises an eyebrow in confusion. You snort, rolling your eyes as you elaborate. “Your defence panel. Did it go okay?”

You’re shifting your weight and fidgeting restlessly with the belt loops on your pants and as he studies you for a moment, it occurs to Spencer that you’re nervous for him over this outcome. The thought brings an almost giddy smile to his face.

“You know this isn’t my first thesis defence panel, right?” He says mildly, deliberately burying the lede, enjoying the way you scowl in irritation too much to answer your question right away, too enamoured with this display of concern on his behalf.

“Don’t be difficult, Doctor Reid. It’s still a big deal.” He just shrugs noncommittally, and you huff, swatting his arm lightly. “So did it go well?” You ask again, eyes narrowing as you try to dissect his microexpressions, trying to discern the answer he seems determined to keep from you for yourself. A few seconds later, he relents.

“I can now add degree number six to my wall.” He confirms. Getting degrees doesn’t hold the same rush of pride for him now, the accomplishment feeling somewhat less exceptional as he acquires more of them, but the way your face lights up with pride for him reminds him how special the things he’s capable of can be. You’ve always made him feel like more than the sum of his parts somehow, like something infinitely more precious than he always assumed he is.

“I fucking knew it. That’s amazing, Spence,” you say, chest warm and full with pride and love, and his almost shy smile in return is enough to make a decision for you in a split second. Your hand dips into your back pocket, drawing something out, and you carefully hide it from view in your palm as Spencer tracks the motion curiously with his eyes.

Your eyes are shining with affection and something that looks like mischief and the way you’re smiling at him is more than enough to divert his attention as you step closer, just barely noticing as you slip something into his hand. You’re dangerously, distractingly close now, and he’s conscious, if somewhat distantly, that neither of you is concealed from the rest of the team, scant meters away in the seating area of the jet. But you’re smiling and close enough for him to feel your breath on his face and suddenly your lips are on his, and even after nearly seven months of being able to touch you like this, it’s enough to make him forget everything else as he melts into the contact, savouring the warmth of your skin and the faint smell of your shampoo.

You pull back a second later, the kiss over almost as soon as it started, but it’s enough to attract attention, and you can hear a belated ‘oh SHIT’ from Emily in the main cabin of the jet. In your peripheral vision, you can see money changing hands, your friends scrambling to react, but you don’t look at them, choosing to enjoy the bemused, affectionate look on Spencer’s face as his brain catches up to the events unfolding around the two of you.

“I was tired of keeping it a secret,” you say fondly, loud enough only for him to hear. “You win.”

Blinking in confusion, he finally tears his gaze away from yours, fingers uncurling to reveal the fifty dollar bill you had pressed into his palm right before you kissed him. The penny drops and he snorts with laughter, shaking his head in half hearted indignation as his other arm loops around you, pulling you in, letting you rest your head on his shoulder, hiding your face from the rest of the team as he kisses your temple, revelling in the way you wind yourself around him in response.

“I was gonna do this in like two days. I wanted you to win,” he murmurs against your hairline, and he can feel your faint laughter.

“Too bad, baby. I’m used to getting my way,” you say, pulling back to steal another quick kiss before peeling yourself out of his arms with a wink, turning to face the onslaught of ‘care to fucking explain that’ and ‘I fucking told you so’ from the rest of your friends, tugging him with you by your joined hands.

[pufflyhallows]

Getaway

Gif not mine

Pairing: Fred Weasley x reader

Summary: Business is going bad after the war and Fred is not feeling so great, so you decide to cheer him up with a special trip.

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, smut, language, tiny tiny bit of angst, still fluffy tho

a/n: this is my FIRST smut EVER so... be nice? also, Fred fucking LIVES bc I’m in denial forever lol

Word count: 4,3k

********

You wanted to surprise Fred.

He had been feeling down lately. Ever since he and George reopened the shop after the war, things had been a little tough. The movement was still quite slow, given the fact that people were still recovering from the war, mourning their lost ones and starting new lives. It was a difficult time for everyone, and of course it affected Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes as well.

What ached your heart the most was the fact that there wasn’t much you could do to help him. Every day you watched as he took longer to get out of bed in the morning, how he sounded slower and quieter when talking to you and, the worst part, how he acted quite mechanic when doing his chores around the shop, the same ones he enjoyed so much in the past and had always gotten done with a bright smile on his face. And although he never stopped caring for you or being loving to you, the bedroom had become… inactive. And you missed it. You missed being intimate with your boyfriend, but every time you tried to initiate it, he would softly decline, claiming to be too tired. You believed it. You could see he was indeed exhausted. And not only physically, but mentally too. Perhaps the latter was actually the one weighing more.

George, however, was quite the opposite. He kept his optimism high and was always the first to wake up every morning, excited with the new day and new possibilities. He would often go out and promote the shop, talk to people and sometimes even manage to bring a customer in.

This big difference between them worried you. No, you did not expect the twins to act the same, but you hoped in secret that Fred would follow his brother’s steps and cheer up a bit.

Cheer up. Yeah. That was exactly what he needed. And what better way to cheer up someone than a surprise trip? That’s how you were going to take his mind off of work. With Hermione’s help, you planned a very romantic weekend trip out of town. You talked to George beforehand, of course, but he assured you he could take care of the shop by himself for two days. He agreed Fred needed this.

“It’s not like we’re getting many customers anyway,” he had said.

So, as Friday approached, you felt the excitement building up. You managed to act completely nonchalant around him, making sure he didn’t suspect a thing. It wasn’t a big, expensive hotel because you knew he would worry about money and that was the opposite of what you wanted for this trip. Hermione had helped you pick a small, comfy hotel that was quite charming and fit your pocket perfectly. You wanted to make sure Fred felt loved, cared for and relaxed. There was also a little extra surprise inside your suitcase that you really hoped he would like…

What you didn’t know was that Fred felt guilty. He reckoned he hadn’t been the boyfriend you deserved lately, but he couldn’t help it. The stress was almost eating him alive and his mind was always wandering back to the shop, worrying about its future. You had been so kind and patient with him, he knew you deserved better than that. The whole thing was snowballing and sometimes he couldn’t see it ending.

That Friday, when you got home from work, the shop was still open and there was actually a customer inside, talking with George. You felt relief wash over you, because you knew what that meant: Fred was probably in a good mood.

You walked straight to the flat, not daring to interrupt George, but you stopped in the middle of the stairs to watch. He was speaking with such enthusiasm, showing and explaining his products to the young boy, that it filled you with pride. You caught his eyes for a brief moment and noticed the smallest of smirks appear on his lips. Smiling back, you nodded at him. Fred was nowhere to be seen, though, so you went upstairs.

There was a delicious scent coming from the kitchen. The older twin was there, cooking. You smiled to yourself at the sight. His favorite The Weird Sisters record was playing somewhere in the flat, adding a familiar, comfortable feel to the whole scene. Fred’s back was facing you while he chopped… carrots? on the counter. He didn’t seem to notice your presence just yet, so you took advantage of that. Placing your bag on the nearest chair, you walked in quiet steps towards your boyfriend. The fresh mint aroma coming from him meant he had probably just showered. Oh, and how you missed showering with him.

You couldn’t refrain your smile from growing even bigger once you noticed Fred’s body was swinging from side to side, so imperceptibly that you almost missed it. Carefully, you wrapped your arms around him from behind, resting your cheek on his back. You felt him tense up for a mere second before realizing who it was. He soon relaxed, letting go of the knife and placing his clean hand on yours.

“Didn’t hear you coming in,” he stated, voice low and raspy.

You hummed in response and placed a soft kiss on the nape of his neck. Fred turned around and briefly met your lips with his.

“It’s gonna take a while. Why don’t you go take a bath?”

“I will,” you nodded, running your hand from his chest to his shoulder and squeezing it gently. “How was your day?”

He shrugged. “Okay.”

“Okay”, you repeated. “Well, I hope I can make it better. I have a surprise for you after dinner.”

“A surprise?”

“Yes. I have an idea of how we can spend your days off.”

“Hm… Making plans already, are we?”

“Very good plans, yes. But you’ll have to wait until dinner.”

“Or you could tell me right now so I won’t have to.”

“But where’s the fun in that?”

You smirked and gave him another peck on the lips before rushing off the kitchen and leaving your boyfriend to his curiosity and imagination.

The warm bath made you think about a lot of things and you came to realize you were very lucky. The war was over and there you were, taking a bath in your boyfriend’s flat, the person you loved the most in the world. So many people lost their loved ones, their homes, their entire lives in that war. You knew you had many reasons to feel happy and should not take them for granted. Life was good for you right now, and you acknowledged it, promising to yourself that you were going to enjoy it the best you could, with Fred by your side.

George joined the two of you for dinner, which turned out to be the best you had in months. Not because of the food, although it was perfect, but because it felt like everything was back to normal, like all the meals you had shared before the war. Maybe it was the idea of a day off and the mention of a surprise from you, but you could see that Fred was already less gloomy or aloof.

After the meal, as if sensing you wanted to reveal your plans to Fred, George excused himself to his bedroom, claiming he still had to finish some work. You wished him goodnight, not missing the discrete wink he gave you.

“So…” you started, watching as Fred emptied his glass of pumpkin juice. “Remember when I said I had an idea on how to spend your days off?”

“Oh, yes. The surprise.”

“Well… I figured you could use a little rest from everything, so I made a reservation at a very nice hotel for the two of us to spend the weekend at.”

“You what?” Fred asked, a small smile starting to grace his lips.

“The portkey is set for our departure at 10 a.m. tomorrow.”

“But-”

“Nope. No buts,” you shook your head. “I have already packed our bags.”

“Y/N, doll, I don’t know what to say.”

“Tell me I’m amazing, the best thing that ever happened to you, an angel sent from heaven…  Something humble like that.”

Fred chuckled, that contagious sound you missed hearing so much. “You’re amazing. You are the best thing that ever happened to me, a true angel sent from heaven.”

“I know! We’re gonna have so much fun,” you smiled excitedly, clasping your hands together.

“What exactly are your plans for us, though?” your boyfriend questioned, curiosity dripping from his lips.

“Oh, you’ll find out once we’re there.”

“The surprise doesn’t end here, I see.”

“Exactly. I have everything planned, baby.”

The look in Fred’s eyes seemed to indicate he had an idea of what you had planned, but he did not say a word about it. He would like to see the surprise reveal itself in the right moment. He wasn’t going to spoil your plans in any way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You always had your doubts when it came to ads, but this time you had to admit this was spot on. The hotel looked exactly like its pictures and descriptions.

“Mr. and Mrs. Weasley?” the receptionist asked as soon as you stepped in the lobby.

It was something so small, so simple, but it made your heart flutter and stomach fill with those restless butterflies. Mrs. Weasley. Were you ever going to become that? You wondered if Fred even noticed the little misunderstanding.

“Um,” you cleared your throat. “Actually, it’s just one Weasley. Fred Weasley. I’m Y/N Y/L/N.”

Your slight flustered manner didn’t go unnoticed by Fred. Despite the obvious nervousness, he thought it was rather cute. In fact, he liked to hear you be called that. Perhaps he should do something about it…

“Oh, I apologize. Mr. Weasley and Miss Y/L/N,” the receptionist corrected herself as she checked the reservation’s book. “You’re right on time, your room is ready for you. I just need your wands for ID confirmation before I give you your key.”

Both of you handed your wands to the young woman behind the desk and she did as she was supposed to. Sooner than you had anticipated, you were in the lovely suite you had reserved.

Fred placed the small handbag on the bed – blessed be the extension charm, that’s all you had to carry for that trip – and walked around the room curiously. You went straight for the big window and opened the curtains. There it was. The view you had seen on the ad and that had made you instantly choose this hotel.

“Fred,” you called softly, looking behind you. “Come see.”

Your boyfriend let go of the catalog on the nightstand and approached you, eyeing the outside in awe.

“Wow,” he breathed. “It’s beautiful.”

“Isn’t it?”

When making the reservation, you were met with the question: would you like a room with view to the street/village or to the beach? And you chose the beach, although the village was a lovely sight. Now, seeing Fred’s reaction, you were absolutely sure you had made the right choice.

The hotel was in a small village where both wizards and muggles lived. With a little help from magic, the wizards could go unnoticed and the muggles lived everyday life without a single clue of the existence of such peculiar neighbors. The beach was right behind the village, and your room being in the back of the hotel, you had a wonderful privileged view of nature’s beauty.

“Wanna go down there?” you asked.

“What’s in your plans?” he asked back, switching his gaze from the window to you.

“Beach,” you replied with a small smile. “Basically the entire day at the beach, lunch at a muggle restaurant down there too. But dinner here.”

“I’ll follow your script, doll.”

Fred placed his hand on your waist and pulled you closer, pressing his lips ever so gently on yours. You instantly let go of the curtains so you could run your fingers through his soft hair. The light fabric fell back to its place, covering the windows again and leaving the room a little darker than before. Fred’s gentle kiss wasn’t so gentle anymore.

No, not yet.

You broke the kiss and pulled back, biting your lip as you started to feel that you might not be able to wait until the right time for your surprise.

“I’m starving,” you whispered against his lips.

“Me too,” he pulled you closer again.

“Let’s go, then.” You managed to get out of his embrace and grab the handbag before heading to the bathroom to change into your bathing suit.

A hungry Fred was left standing by the big window.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been hard.

It had been hard seeing you in so little clothing, dripping wet, skin glistening as droplets of water reflected the sunlight. But Fred managed.

All he had in his mind every time he saw you leaving the water was how he wanted to take you then and there. He had to distract himself from those thoughts, paying attention to what you were saying but not too much to your moving lips. He knew you had something planned and he was appreciative of how much effort you had put in this weekend for him. That was the only reason he wasn’t indulging to his not-so-pure thoughts.

Lunch was a good distraction too, specially since you had to convince a muggle child she had imagined it when she saw Fred stop his falling fork mid-air.

Now, as the two of you walked hand in hand back to the hotel, he wondered if he was going to be rewarded for the self-control test he had just passed. You were humming a song as you observed the houses, trying to guess which ones were muggles and which ones were wizards.

“What’s next?” he asked.

“Dinner!” you answered excitedly. “But, if I were you, I wouldn’t go overboard.”

“Why, if I may ask?” but Fred already suspected why.

“Well… there might be plans for after dinner as well.”

Fred held your hand tighter and pulled you towards the hotel in a faster pace. You chuckled, feeling the excitement grow bigger and bigger.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Dessert?” the waiter asked as he took the empty plates from your table.

“No, thank you,” Fred replied before you had the chance. “We’re calling it a night, aren’t we, sweetheart?”

“Actually,” you smirked at your boyfriend before looking at the waiter. “I’d like chocolate pudding, please.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

As soon as the waiter left, Fred gave you a look.

“What?” you asked nonchalantly.

“I thought you said we wouldn’t go overboard.”

“I’m not going overboard. I had a small plate,” you shrugged.

“Right,” Fred sighed, bouncing his leg under the table.

When your chocolate pudding came, you grabbed the spoon and took a small amount to your mouth. Fred watched your every move, arms crossed and brows slightly furrowed as he saw you slowly lick the spoon. You pretended you didn’t know he was watching, eyes on the tiny bowl in front of you, and you mouthed another spoon, unintentionally getting pudding all over your lips.

Your boyfriend gulped as he watched you run your thumb over your lower lip, getting rid of the chocolate there, and gently suck on it.

“For fuck’s sake, Y/N,” he mumbled.

“Hm?” you looked at him innocently.

“Just eat the damn thing.”

“You want some?” you raised the spoon at him.

“Yes, I want some.”

You felt your cheeks burn just a little bit with his remark, heart begin to race as the ideas for what you wanted to do to him tonight started to flood your mind.

“If you wait patiently, you might get what you want,” you teased, looking back at the bowl and already serving another spoon, which you quickly brought to your lips, licking all the content off of it.

Fred shook his head, one corner of his lips going upwards ever so slightly, eyes glued on you.

“You sure you don’t want to taste it?” you offered again, lips glistening as you cleaned them with your tongue.

“I will taste it,” his eyes pierced through your body and suddenly the hotel was too hot.

You had barely served the last spoon of pudding when Fred stood up and let the waiter know you were headed to the room.

“I haven’t finished yet,” you protested and he immediately took the last spoon from your hand and into his mouth.

“Now you have,” he said as he pulled you from the chair.

The way back to the suite felt much longer than it actually was, but as soon as you reached the door, Fred’s lips were on yours. You had trouble to get the key with your boyfriend’s hands all over you, pulling your body hard against his.

“Fred,” you breathed, stepping back. “There’s another surprise.”

Before he could say anything, you unlocked the door and went inside.

“Sit down,” you slowly pushed him to the bed. “And close your eyes.”

Fred complied with no protests, but you could see he was getting flustered, probably guessing what was coming.

You blew out most of the candles illuminating the room and left only a few to create the romantic atmosphere you wanted. You went to the bathroom and changed into the expensive lacy lingerie you had bought for this exact occasion. It was red, a color you had learned Fred was very fond of when it came to this kind of clothing, and had one small, delicate bow right between your breasts.

“Are your eyes closed?” you asked from the bathroom, hand on the doorknob.

“Yeah,” you heard in response.

“No peeking ‘til I tell you to,” you warned.

“…‘kay.”

You opened the door and stepped out of the bathroom. Fred was still sitting on the bed, one leg bouncing impatiently, and a slight frown between his eyebrows.

Slowly, you approached the bed and stood right in front of him.

“Open your eyes,” you whispered.

As soon as he did, Fred sucked in a shaky, quiet breath. He eyed you from head to toe, not hiding his astonishment.

“Baby,” he mumbled in a deep voice, already feeling his pants get a little too tight as his eyes still traveled through your entire figure.

“Do you like it?” you asked.

“Mm-hmm,” he nodded, biting his bottom lip.

“Good,” you smiled, placing your hands on each of his shoulders. “Now let me show you how proud I am to be your girlfriend.”

Your lips met Fred’s in a slow, deep kiss as you climbed the bed and straddled him, your arms thrown around his neck. Fred let out a soft moan when he felt your weight against his lap, his hands going up your back, fingertips sending shivers down your spine as they searched for the bra clasp. However, you stopped them and placed them back on your hips.

“Not so fast,” you whispered against his lips.

Before he could protest, you kissed him again, now pushing him all the way back to lay down on the bed. Hovering above him, you started pulling up his shirt, which he quickly got rid of for you. You chuckled. Maybe you weren’t the only one who had missed this.

Now that you had free access to his torso, you began to place soft, wet kisses on his neck, slowly moving down to his chest and stomach, painfully taking your time.

You could feel Fred’s breathing get deeper and deeper as you kissed his abs, working your way down to his pants. Once there, you stopped the kisses for a brief moment, so you could focus on getting rid of that piece of fabric. Again, Fred quickly helped you out until you were both just in your underwear.

The sight sent goosebumps through your body and you inevitably bit your lower lip. He was already so hard, you felt the anticipation building up inside you.

You decided to torture him for a little bit – just a little bit – and carried on with the kisses, not taking off his underwear quite yet. However, Fred’s impatience was growing and he didn’t think he would manage to wait for too long. His hand found your hair and he started stroking it, running his fingers through it, a disguised way to guide your head to where he needed you the most. You realized his intentions, but you did not stop him. You let him take you where he wanted and soon your lips found his still covered length.

“Shit, Y/N.”

You smirked.

Slowly, you started pulling down the last piece of clothing until you completely freed him. He was so beautiful. You still had a silly smile on your face as you ran your tongue all the way up from the base to the tip, where you placed a gentle kiss. Fred’s soft moan reached your ears, a beautiful sound that made you even more wet.

You took him in your mouth and started sucking the tip in a slow, teasing pace, while your hand loosely stroked him. You didn’t want him to cum yet. You wanted him to last. And you were going to make him last.

Fred’s hand never left your hair, and he began to slightly pull it, asking for more. He needed more.

“Y/N,” he moaned. “Y/N, please.”

You ignored him and kept going in that insanely slow pace, taking your time. What was the hurry?

You heard a low groan, and felt him move his hips against you. You stopped.

“Behave yourself, Weasley.”

“Baby… Please.”

You smirked again, giving him one last stroke, and you let go of him.

Fred looked at you in a way you hadn’t seen in a while. His eyes were dark, full of pure lust. But also desperation and discontent with the sudden lack of touch.

You crawled on the bed until your face was right above his, and you kissed him. It was a deep, passionate, hurried kiss between two people who were eager for each other. This time, you didn’t stop Fred’s hands from going up your back and unclasping your bra. He took it off and you quickly felt his left hand on your right breast, squeezing it. His right hand, however, was going up and down your side, sending shivers through your bare skin. He rested it on your waist for a little bit before going down to your ass and squeezing it tightly. You moaned against his lips, your own impatience growing.

You only stopped the kiss to get rid of your panties, the last piece of fabric separating you from him.

Fred watched as you got off of him and started to pull it down your smooth legs. He could feel his cock throbbing at the sight of your completely naked body. You were breathtakingly, heart-racingly beautiful. He loved the lingerie, he really did, but he loved your body a thousand times more. And he would never get tired of looking at it.

When you straddled him again, skin to skin now, he thought he would cum right then and there. You smiled at him, that beautiful smile that never changed, and kissed him one more time. Fred placed his hands on your waist, squeezing it gently, as if to encourage you. Not wasting another second, you guided his tip to your entrance and slowly sank down on him, allowing him to get all the way inside you, quite easily given how wet you were.

“Oh fuck, baby,” he moaned.

Letting out your own whimpers, you placed your hands on his chest and started riding him, still slowly, still teasingly. Fred’s moans soon turned into groans, complaints. He was getting tired of the teasing, he was already on edge. He couldn’t take it anymore. With a swift move, Fred shifted the both of you so now he was on top. He started thrusting into you, quite roughly, earning a loud approving moan from you.

“Fred,” you gasped, digging your nails into his shoulders.

He kept going, pounding harder and harder, moaning as he did so.

You started kissing his neck, biting, sucking, anything that would leave a mark.

“Yes, baby,” you cried out as he thrusted even deeper.

The bed was making a discreet creaking sound that you weren’t sure if the people in the other rooms could hear. You hoped not, but honestly? Right now you didn’t care. The sound of Fred’s heavy breaths, moans, groans and whimpers were all you were paying attention to. Beautiful sounds that had the power to shut down anything else in your mind.

The rhythm he had created was sending you to heaven with every motion. His lips soon found your own again and he kissed you as if he hadn’t done it just minutes before.

“Fuck, Y/N. I’m close.”

“Me too.”

As you felt your body tense, Fred came inside you with a low groan, slowing down just a tad bit. He kept thrusting, however, knowing you were about to reach your climax too. And not long after him, you felt a wave of pleasure wash over you, and your body relaxed completely.

Both of you were panting against each other’s neck, your arms still loosely around his shoulders as he slowly pulled out and collapsed on top of you.

Hugging him more tightly, you felt Fred leave small kisses on your neck, and you closed your eyes, enjoying the extra-tingly sensation. You started to run your fingernails up and down his back, the other hand caressing his hair.

If you concentrated hard enough, you could hear the waves crashing on the beach, the giggling of children playing down there, and the muffled music coming from the muggle restaurant. You felt so at ease.

After a long moment of peaceful, comforting silence, Fred looked up and smiled. “I love you so much.”

You smiled back. “I love you too.”

Not bad for round one.

********

[60sgroove]

What’s happening between you and this guy?

this is going to be very long bc i have been wanting this guy forever. basically my friend (i'll call him john) and me go back 2 years...i met him on tinder and we met up and nothing rly happened i just assumed he wasn't into me but we stayed friends. we kept texting each other and hung out occasionally, but it was just casual. then i started dating his best friend, let's call him kevin (yikes) after i went to a halloween party w john and he introduced me to his roommate (kevin). i always felt like there was insane tension between john and i bc even in front of his then gf and my ex (his best friend) (im not saying it wasn't fucked up) he would make it a point to say shit like "oh well i know caroline better than you guys" and he felt really territorial. and before i started dating his roommate he was telling me how fucked up kevin was which i thought was odd bc ...they're supposed to be best friends...like don't you hype your buddies up when they're into someone? i was always v reserved bc although i wanted to jump john's bones i was w his best friend and i mean he was way nicer to me, he asked me out and my friend didn't, so finder's keepers, right? i just convinced myself over time that if he liked me, then he would have said it long long ago and he is so attractive i just didn't think i had a chance. after me and my ex broke up, i still felt like there was something there w me and john but i didn't rly want to push it. i've always been insane about him tho like ready to fucking confess at any second that kind of intensity. in this past month, we have grown closer bc he opened up about his mental health struggles and a lot of them i relate to. flash forward to today, his birthday, and he invited me over to his place w his friend (the cockblocker). so i went over bc if john asks me to do something um im gonna do it even if it is at 3am. after all i went on a really shitty date and i needed someone to talk to. his friend immediately started flirting w me (complimenting me on my small hands, telling me i'm cute, rubbing my arm, offering to walk me home alone) and i could see john was getting visibly upset. well this made me dissociate bc the last thing i want to do is to have his friend all over me when i would rather it be john...so i wasn't giving any signals or anything. john started comforting me, rubbing my arm, putting his head on my shoulder etc. and he told me to come out on the deck w him so i did. he wrapped his arms around me and he straight up cried over me telling me how much he appreciates me and how amazing i am etc. i was kind of in disbelief like how the fuck is this happening and why now when i am about to move. then he asked me to stay the night (even though his friend offered to walk me home) and so i got in bed w him and his friend was on the ground on a mattress (ouch). he immediately started touching me and i was dying and he confessed that he has liked me for a long time but he thought i didn't like him back...that he always thought i was really cute and amazing but that it just wasn't meant to be....anyway i had to leave bc we couldnt have sex bc of his cockblocking friend and i legit could not handle it (which i think john understood). and now idk what the fuck to do bc im like is he gonna take this all back like what does this mean and i am about to move...and i planned 4 different dates tomorrow 2 of which i knew i would had to cancel but now im like do i have to cancel all of them??? idk what any of this means....and idk what i want it to mean.

[colour-outside-the-liness]

Oh wow, you two have been friends for a long time then! I know what's that like, I've known my best friend who lives in Spain since we were 8! Definitely awesome to have someone like that in your life. Are you still going to be roommates when the baby comes? And that was really thoughtful of your ex making sure you didn't travel alone.

Canada is really cold tho, so if you're okay with that you should def move there! Ah well, I'm doing better now so that's what matters, all the horrible worries I had when I lived back home are gone atm.

Yeah, that's the spirit! you can do all US states even if it takes you 43 years, that's plenty of time! hahaha And your welcome, it's one of my favourite fics.

Your mind is great, don't worry. At least something good came out of it haha.

Oh so people make her a pisces then, I see. I've met a pisces who was kinda like Dani once so that's why I said she has that kind of energy, but she def has fire on her chart too. And yeah I can see some virgo traits in her, but she's very sensitive and a bit naive so I guess pisces makes more sense.

I had to look up what a badger was hahaha never heard of them before.

I'm sorry you had to go through that. Sounds scary. And you still have to take medication bc of it. The threat of catching covid must've made that 10x worse too. And I can only hope to learn from my mistakes at the very least.

People who made thobm are fucking savages tbh hahaha. 😂 Kinda wish they had cast Oliver as Jamie like they originally intended but then we wouldn't have our damie... don't know what's worse honestly.

Oh Yorkshire accent is pretty cool too, isn't the lead singer of the Arctic Monkeys from Yorkshire? Honestly think all the language variations and different accents that come with each region are really fascinating. And that happens with all languages, not just English. Wish I could speak all languages in the world, that would be a cool superpower! I guess it makes sense you like American accents more bc it's so different from yours. I've become desensitized to North American accents just bc I hear them all the time, but I see how it would be more appealing to you.

Oooh I love that possibility of it becoming a real fic soon hahaha. Worst part of letting it cook is that I already have the finished illustration in my head but the transferring to reality part is not working rn. Wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy tbh.

You def had a busy weekend and start of the week! I have a virgo in my life rn too I know the struggle. Her birthday is this weekend in fact. I had an okay weekend thank you! Managed to catch up with that pirate AU you recommended and I'm already planning fanart for it that will probably never see the light of day haha! Are we going to have more smut this next MoU update? (need to know for scientific purposes 🔬)

Yeah we've been friends for years we met when we were 14 and are still friends now at 27 so it's been one of my longest friendships I have a friend that I met at 4 but we're not as close as we once were still really good friends but not best friends haha!! aww that's so cool that you guys have been friends for that long!! Yeah we're still gonna live together when the baby comes- we're looking for a bigger place right now to make room for the baby and her boyfriend (he still doesn't live with us yet but will soon.... *insert gif of Monica Gellar one friends saying "And now I have to live with a boy" while crying* Yeah my ex is a super thoughtful person and she just didn't want me travelling so far alone when I had never flown before because when I went to Paris with my college we drove there and went on the Eurostar and it took us 13 hours to get there but I had never flown before going to LA and I picked an 11 hour flight for my first one so she wanted someone to fly with me she's a very thoughtful person I LOVE the cold weather I am so sad right now because it's bene quite warm in the north of England I can't wait until it's like -3 degrees Celsius during the winter nights again so I am sure I would love Canada I am fine with it taking me 43 years if that's what it takes haha I just wanna hit all 50 states I think it would be so fun to do it and to be able to say I'd done it.  Haha thank you!! As long as something good comes out of it that's all I can hope for but there are times I've done things and people are like "And you're allowed to teach kids?" Like I can be really dumb sometimes haha.  Yeah I've seen a couple of fics where she has been a pisces I think with it never being said and with VP never saying what she thinks she is people have looked at her personality and matched it up to zodiac signs- a lot of the pisces I've met haven't been like Dani like I said but I do trust what people who know more about zodiac signs say because I know nothing and I just pick a random date each time so CBML she's a Leo and MoU she's a virgo and in SLS she's gonna be a Scorpio because that's just how I've done it haha but I really know nothing about zodiac signs other than what you have told me!! There different types of badgers there are honey badgers and they're more in America here we have a different type of badger and they look so cute but they are really vicious if they feel attacked or scared so try snd avoid badgers... more than that though we just have cows, geese, ducks, swans... lots of foxes but noting dangerous like bears or anything its a very boring place to live!! Yeah it is pretty scary but I just take everything one day at a time- I actually caught Covid last year because of how much time I was in the hospital having treatments for my condition I caught Covid and ended up in the hospital for a week while they had to give me loads of medication and blood transfusions and had to put me on a fluid drip because I was really dehydrated and that was really scary but luckily I was okay and now I am fully vaccinated so hopefully I won't catch it again. I think you will definitely learn from your mistakes I feel like some mistakes have to be made in life so you can grow from them Oh they were definitely savage but I love Bly Manor so much and I will watch it so many more times I can't wait for it to come out on DVD!! Like it was heart breaking but so beautiful and we got such an incredible wlw relationship from it and some great representation and I love that!! Would be interesting to see how it would've affected people had Oliver played Jamie though Yeah Alex Turner is from Sheffield which is South Yorkshire so again we have a similar accent but it's different because I am from further North but there are things that we say in a similar way because we’re from Yorkshire just different parts of Yorkshire... there are four Yorkshires: North, East, West, and South haha and all are in the north of England  Yeah I think that’s the case every where I think accents and languages are so interesting and I would love to be able to speak any other language but I only speak English in my school it wasn’t seen as being overly important to learn a language and I have tried learning them since leaving school but I struggle now  There are some American accents I love (Southern and Midwestern) so when I heard Dani speak I was like 😍🥵🥰 because I love that type of accent I have become desensitised to some American accents that are just standard ones from watching so many movies and TV shows but there are some accents that just make me do heart eyes haha  I am hoping it can become a real fic soon but I am struggling with some stuff but keeping hopeful with it!! Awwh no I’m sorry it’s so hard for you I hope it gets better soon that you’re able to get it onto a page!!  I have had such a busy weekend and part of the week had a bit of a busy day today too and looking after my niece again tomorrow not rest for me it would seem but it’s fine I don’t mind keeping busy!! Well happy birthday to her I hope she has a great day!!  Oh yay I’m glad had an okay weekend and that you were able to catch up on the pirate AU and that you already have fan art planned for it- even if no one ever sees that fanart!! No there is no smut in this chapter of MoU some implied smut but no actual smut- there will probably be smut in chapter 9 though because y’know... it’s me haha 😂 

[ongfreestyle]

Coffee and College

A Jaehyun college coffee bullet au that ZERO people asked for

So anyway, you're in your second year of college and you're in the groove of things (kinda) and all is well

You're on your way to your 9am French I class on the first day and you feel your phone vibrating

It's your bf and you smile thinking "aaww it's our 3yr anniversary n he's calling already to say good morning"

More like... goodbye

Yep. 8:45am he calls you to dump you in the driest most uncool way

"listen. I just ... I know this is random, but....I don't wanna do this anymore."

"oh. Uh. What? Sorry I didn't hear you?"

"I'm sorry, I just can't do this anymore I want to break up with you. I'm sorry."

"oh. Ok. Fine. Sure. Umm...if you wanna talk about it later. Then...yeah..I have French class now bye."

End of call and start of class

Yep you're third row from the back and you plan to pay attention to the syllabus talk and following lesson but

You're definitely tearing up

Like literally WHO DOES THAT?? Just dumps you at 8am no explanation??

So anyways there are teardrops on your notes now and ink isn't tear proof so...rip

Anyways thirty minutes in and your head in kinda just down and you're kinda just crying quietly

And then this kid slides into the seat next to you

He's v late

And v cute even through the tears

And he's smiling really big even though the teacher just scolded him

He sets his coffee down and looks at you wiping snot and tears away and he hands you a napkin from his bag

You take it and mutter a "thanks"

And a moment later he slides his coffee to you too

"I didn't drink it yet"

"it's an espresso, extra caffeine"

"I made it myself"

And he's back to taking notes

And you're still kinda pouting, but it's been 45+ mins so you try to at least write down the homework assignment

And you decide to sip the stupid espresso it's actually pretty good

The next day you find yourself at the school cafeteria and guess who it is??

Espresso boy!!

And it turns out that he's even cuter in uniform!

You go to order some food and he greets you with a big smile

"feeling better today?"

"kinda"

"rough day yesterday, huh?"

"yeah. Can I have a breakfast burrito?"

"no coffee?"

"no, but thanks for the free coffee yesterday. It helped. I owe you one"

"no you don't, it's on the house. And so the one I'm about to make you next. It's today's special!"

Who are you to deny another free coffee? So you take his offer and a few minutes later you're at your table eating your breakfast and doing your French homework

And the special coffee is really good

Then one of your friends comes by and is giving you a weird look

"are you drinking the nasty coffee from the cafeteria??"

"yep. Its actually really good"

And your friend's like ??? "It's usually bitter and gross tho ?? Like 10 times outta 10"

And you shrug and get back to work and your friend grabs some food and starts doing their work too

The day goes on and finally you get some time to yourself to think about yesterday

Your ex hasn't called or texted. Nothing. And it just hits you like wow. I'm. Single.

Cool.

Except not cool because you got no closure or explanation and ouch.

So you hate it but just like yesterday, you're crying again. Just. Uglier crying.

And your roommate comes back and is like "awww sweetie, fuck him"

And she says if you wipe your face she'll take you out for ice cream

So fuck the snot and tears, you want some damn ice cream

And out you go!!

Free ice cream you two stop at a park on campus and there's a basket game going on

And your roommate is like SKSSKDJS "LOOK IT'S JOHNNY SKSJDJ"

English??

"that means holy shit it's the hottest tallest nicest guy in school and he's playing basketball look at his ARMS BITCH"

So guess who's watching a pickup game of bball while eating ice cream?

You two!

Oh and guess who else is playing and is red and sweaty and had a nice jump shot?

Coffee boy.

Yup and you might not be interested in the Score, but dammit the view was nice

The game ends and Johnny is the first to come over to the side lines n greet your roommate

She's batting her eyelashes and telling him he did amazing even tho they lost

And he's smiling and chugging water as he goes on talking and coffee boy and a few of his friends are on the sidelines now looking at you

Coffee Boy is the first to say hi and all you can do is say hi back

And thank him for the coffee again

He shrugs, "no problem. Coffee fixes almost everything in college"

Almost everything. And there's an awkward silence

"see you around." He says and he walks away

Like that you never find out his name and life moves on

French class is going well and you sit in the front now and coffee boy is always late and sits in the back

You really don't do anything except exchange glances

Then midterms are coming up and you are a bit panicked bc u definitely neglected French studies

So like any good college student you cram like hell

In the library at midnight you're trying to learn vocabulary, conjugations, grammar points

You look insane by 1am bit you can't stop then you hear someone coming I'm the library

It's (literally if you can guess by now) coffee boy

And he's got 4 coffee cups in a holder with him and a huge backpack

He spots you and waves

"mind if I sit with you?"

"mind if I claim two of the coffees?"

"there all yours" and he sits next to you and slides the holder to you just like when you first met

"I made them myself"

"so you make these awesome brews?"

"yeah the schools coffee recipe is shitty."

"well maybe you should major in business and open a coffee shop. They're really good."

"maybe I will"

And you two study quietly and you peek over to see him going over French vocab

"let's quiz each other?"

"sure"

And it's 2am and you guys realize you're both fukced

Like. No vocab is sticking and the coffee had you two literally SHAKING

And by 3am you guys are just cracking up

"I never learned your name coffee boy"

"Jaehyun. Jung Jaehyun."

"well. Good luck with the test tomorrow because I. Give. Up."

And you get up to leave and he offers to walk you home and you accept for safety reasons

"I'm glad to see you so happy. You're pretty like that."

"I'm an ugly crier, huh"

"kinda."

"okay, not the gentleman answer, but I admire your honesty"

"thanks. I hope you have a good night"

Yeah the walk back was not long at all. Too bad because you really were enjoying your time

But 9am French !!!

Midterms are over after a week and it's back to the daily grind

But days are way better when you have French now bc Jaehyun sits next to you (when he's on time and the seats open) and you guys joke around alot during speaking practice

He's brings you a new coffee everyday and asks you how it tastes and what he should add or take away

And you kinda hang out at the cafeteria now so you can talk to him while he's working

Ooppsss you have developed a small™ crush on Jaehyun and it's not going away anytime soon

You even open up to him about why you crying the day you met (tho u vowed to NVR speak of it again)

Yeah now the crush is nvr dying :)))

Bc your friends notice that you always go watch him play b-ball even tho it's not a REAL game

And he always has a coffee for you

And you two are always studying French

But like...you guys are making questionable grades...so...what's up??

NOTHING

French I finals are coming and you and Jaehyun are at your usual spot in the library, except this time YOU bought HIM coffee

"what brand ?"

"gross school brand that you didn't make, but is LOADED with caffeine"

"gross. Hand me one"

"cheers!"

And it's study time

But he's not focused

Like he never is and neither are you, but it's really off now

"is it that bad?"

"the coffee? Yeah. And my French grade? It's even worse. I won't make French 2."

And you're like WTF WTF NO FRENCH 2 WITH JAEHYUN YOUR CRUSH WHO LITERALLY GOT YOU THRU THIS SEMESTER ????

"Jaehyun. We are going to fix your grade with this final. I SWEAR."

You're like REAL STUDY MODE: ON

And he has this small smile on his face.

Sly....

"what?"

"you WANT me in your French 2 class don't you?"

"uuhhh-duhh free coffee to keep me up during le snooze fest"

"you know it's not free. It comes outta my pay check"

"okay, then I owe it to you to get you to pass this class and get to French 2"

"I guess."

Yeah. You're DRILLING info into ur heads ,,,, but Jaehyun is like ____ blank.

So you kinda snap

"yo do u wanna fail??? At least TRY!"

"I can't focus. I'm confused about something."

"past tense conjugations?"

"you."

Pause.

"I can't tell if you're over your ex. You took it hard and I'm trying to wait, but..."

???????????

"my ex? My ex is my ex...I'm over that"

"you never really brought it up much. I wouldn't know."

"Past tense."

"and also. The coffee."

"your coffee is good! I'm serious, Jaehyun!"

"yeah, but do like me...? Or my coffee?"

"both?"

Jaehyun is not making this easy for you okay

"I mean, if I didn't bring you coffee, would you still hang with me? Teach me French n stuff?"

"of course."

"so you...........like......me?"

HELL YES, but you settle for a simple yep

Then he just looks at you seriously

"you LIKE me LIKE me..like....LIKE LIKE?"

"uuhh...if I understood all of the likes right, then....yeah. I do like you."

OH AND THAT DOES IT

He is so reeeeeedddd

Like this boy GONE

You. His crush. Likes. Him. Wtf

Yeah he cannot quit grinning

And when you move on from the topic he can't focus on a single word you're saying

Finals day comes and you feel okay about your score and Jaehyun said he wants to leave it in the past

And you two go hang out at the cafeteria

And he's looking at you across the table

Randomly he just smiles at you

"I..wanna be your boyfriend...."

bc y'all nvr because s/o's officially soooo

Your heart rate

Lemme draw it

/\/\/\/\_______💀

Wow

He said it so cutely

Damn that's crazy bc you would love if he was your bf

And when you say that!!

Reference to drawing

After becoming official you two are like the cutest couple ever

And you go to French 2 and he's back in French 1

He got a 58 on the final :/

But OH WELL you're his tutor now

And you guys actually study

And he doesn't feel like he has to bribe you with coffee to make you like him

So with some hard work you both kick your caffeine addictions

And you guys spend the days making stupid jokes and playing basketball together

Cramming for French while high on 4 coffees each

(old habits die hard)

And you two tease each other so much

It's a miracle you get any work done really

Jaehyun passes his French 1 class with an A+ and he literally runs to your dorm to tell you

You crash into each other

He holds you to steady you

And hes like "babe I passed"

"that's great!"

"it's all thanks to you I could kiss you, but I have coffee breath and-"

"that's nothing new"

Okay and cue the totally cheesy kiss

Where Jaehyun's like "you're right, but our first kiss should be special"

Valentine Boy is a ROMANTIC okay

But it doesn't matter

You can't resist leaning in

And he lets out a fake groan like he hasn't been dying to kiss you since he first saw u snotting all over your notes

Yep he liked you then.

And the lean in was so slow, but when your lips met it was worth it

And the coffee taste.... wasn't so bad anyway

[atzfiles]

the park

request: “May I request a scenario with Han or Felix where the reader is usually alone and by themselves so he tries to talk to her but she doesn’t want him to but he annoys her to do stuff after school but one day she yells at him to stop talking to her and she regrets it later bc she likes him”

warnings: a lil speck of angst but mostly fluff hehe

we all know han jisung is a huge ball of energy

you on the other hand

polar opposite 

being friends with him was often a little tiring but you literally loved him anyways

hanging out in school was always fun!!

he kept you awake during your boring geography classes

the nations hero

but after school you really needed to be by yourself bc your social battery is d r a i n e d

jisung knowing, that you often just dwell all alone, had the bright idea of going to the overfilled park with you

you agreed first bc you know,,,hes kindA cute and some fresh air should be okay??

oh boy

oh b o y

you expected some chilling, maybe some talking here and there

but he brought a football, frisbee and badminton bats...

“lets go play something!!!!!!!!” he over excitedly yelled

you couldnt say no to his cute face

and he looked so excited :((

you, not really being a sportsperson embarrassed yourself more than just once 

violently kicking the air instead of the ball

same

there were so many people so you felt kinda meh :// but its jisung so you kinda just smiled thru the pain

thinking this was a once in a lifetime kinda situation and youd never have to go there ever again

next day in school he kept pointing out all the silly things you did like kicking the air or throwing the frisbee into the closest tree

“ha ha ha yeah im such a silly girl haha super funnY!!!”

at lunch he told everyone at the table as well which didnt sit well with you at all

jisung please stop embarrassing your crush 

you just stood up and left mumbling a quick “im not hungry”

he was obviously confused because you seemed to be in a good mood earlier

“excuse me for a sec”

and with that he went after you

he saw you sitting at the entrance of the school fumbling with your bracelet

but you didnt really want to see him bc ughhhhh!! you embarrassed yourself in front of your longtime crush and even tho jisung knows you better than anyone it still bothered you

“why did you leave us at lunch :((”

you just stared at your shoes

“hello silly noodle im talking to you!!!”

“earth to y/n?”

“listen jisung im just?? not in the mood right now,,,,leave me alone”

“we can go back to the park later and we can talk there? i dont want you to be upset”

“no i dont want to go to the park today in fact i dont want to go to any park with anyone ever again >:(”

y/n please calm your dramatic ass phew

“w-what?”

the bell rings and youve never left a spot that fast

jisung just stood there like a kicked puppy

your next class was bio how interesting 

you didnt share that class with him so you tried to distract yourself with that

but you kept seeing his saddend face and remembered your harsh words towards him which made you feel 10 times worse

he just wanted to spend some time with his crush friend

maybe you just reacted that way bc you DO want to spend quality time with him outside of school 

but you also have this huge crush on him which kind of gets in between you and your feelings

also you really cant be around people for longer than 8 hours

you decided to shoot him a quick text

meet me at the gate at 3

you almost immediatly received an answer from him

totally not bc he wanted to text you as well but he was too scared hed shoo you away so he just sat there staring at his phonescreen

okay ill be there

you needed to tell him about your feelings but thats weird and you!! dont even know what youre feeling!!

you were nervous as hell but little did you know he was sweating buckets too

he couldnt focus on his maths teacher at all, being called out multiple times for not paying attention

“jisung are you okay youre getting pale??” changbin asked, looking the younger up and down with a slightly concerned look on his face

“do you ever want to tell your crush youre kinda in love with them but theyre also your friend so you dont want to ruin what you have with them and they also kinda hate you but you dont know why an-”

“jisung dont forget to breathe buddy”

“mr han i wont tell you to shut up anymore. keep quiet or leave this class.”

hello mr teacher this is a serious matter let the boy breathe

after class he hesitated to leave but changbin encouraged him to just come clean to you

so he was a man on a mission

lets get this bread- han jisung, 2018

you already stood at the gate anxiously shifting from one foot to another 

he saw you waiting and picked up his pace a little

he breathed out a little “hi” to which you just nodded your head

“lets walk over to my place” you said, planning on talking things out on your way home

“okay listen im sorry i snapped at you earlier,,,i dont know what happened with me, you did nothing wrong and im just out there screaming at you, which you obviously dont deserve...i was a little moody because you kept bringing up all the embarrassing things i did at the park and i guess i just care a little too much about how you think about me and uh yeah....im sorry”

“youre my favourite person in the whole world how could i think any less of you for cutely kicking a ball in the wrong direction???” he asked while looking at you with big eyes

“listen y/n i dont know what this is going to do to our friendship but im losing serious sleep over this and i just need to get it off my chest and i totally undertstand if you think differently but i like you i really do...as in..more as just a friend i guess??”

y/n is sister shook

HAN JISUNG LIKES ME JUST AS MUCH AS I LIKE HIM IS THIS HEAVEN I SURE THINK SO- y/n

“y-you like me?”

“uhhhh yes???”

“o h”

cue the intense blushing

“well i like you too..”

you know when jisung is all giddy and he kinda bounces around with that huge grin on his face

yea

this but 10 times brighter

you arrived at your house and jisung hesitated but gently hugged you

“im glad you talked to me and im glad we sorted all of this out” he said in a soft voice

“me too, and im really sorry i snapped at you..my feelings just got the better of me”

“its okay” he said with a cute smile

it grew silent and you could practicaly hear the screws in jisungs head turning, trying to figure out if he should kiss you or not

he eventually just went “fuck it” and leaned in

you just stood there like y/n.exe stopped working

he leaned back and giggled a little because of your flustered state

“ill see you tomorrow at school?”

“bet” you smiled

“oh by the way your way of face planting the ground trying to play soccer made my day”

dude you just got a gf dont mess this up already

“han jisung sleep with one eye open”

uH idek what this is but i hope you like it???? ://

requests are open :)

((i hate the title just as much as you do okay im not creative sigh))

[serendipityseulgi]

soccer boy.

— lee jeno

･*:༅｡ the one where you fall for soccer player jeno.

aka, a really cute headcanon :)

so let’s make your best friend in this story our dearly beloved Mark Lee ™.

as your best friend he often tries to drag you to his soccer practices since soccer season has been coming up but you never rly got the chance to bc

p o i n t l e s s and b o r i n g

just kidding

you’ve just been super duper busy so you haven’t been able to attend

but AT LAST your schedule has finally freed and you get to see your bff in his element

so after school Mark’s dragging your arm onto the field and he’s all changed into his clothes and knee high socks with his new cleats that he made you buy with him

homeboi was so excited for soccer season

anywho

he’s dragging you on the field and all his teammates r giving him The Eyes ™ and the coach is all like

“Lee, is that ur girlfriend?”

and your eyes widened and he started fake gagging and you’re just about ready to scream

“EW NO WTF”

“no swearing, Lee.”

“sorry coach.”

but you’re literally retracting in disgust at the assumption bc

you love Mark more than anything yes, but he’s your bff and he’s just gross

anyways enough about Mark, let’s bring in Jeno.

so the moment you arrive on the field with Mark, Jeno instantly sees you

and he’s all **heart eyes**

he thinks you’re so pretty

and boom.

just like that,

he’s in love with you.

jk, not yet but he’s extremely interested in you and he's heard Mark talk about you a few times and from what he's gathered is that you’re super nice and smart and really funny and that you annoy Mark A LOT but that’s not important

so when Jeno sees you for the first time he literally loses his breath because what Mark failed to mention was that you were sO PRETTY

so you on the other hand are once again being dragged by Mark so he can introduce you to his teammates

you meet Jaemin and Donghyuck first, then Lucas, and a few other guys, but the last person you’re introduced to is Jeno

and when you meet Jeno

boom.

now YOU’RE the one in love.

and you notice his pretty eye smile, and his pretty face, and he has such a nice laugh

so there you go,

now you got a crush.

and if Mark finds out, then you’re in for hell of a shit show.

so you keep quiet and take a seat on the bleachers

now you promised Mark you’d come for him, which you did

but you couldn’t help but stare at Jeno

the whole time, might I add.

and you notice how .. freaking good he is??

see like i don’t know a lot about soccer but

this boy is scoring goals left and right

when he kicks the ball to pass it to another member it’s spot. on.

at a point he had to play in the position of the goalie and he managed to block every single damn goal???

HOW

you don't know

but what you do know is,

you're so impressed,, and it makes your heart go !!!!!

so about an hour and a half later the boys finish up and you go to meet Mark and he’s all like

“so how good was I doing?”

and you're all like “uhhhhh”

and he’s like

“you weren’t watching me were you.”

and you're like “I WAS AT FIRST.”

and he's not mad at all, because you've been to past practices before in the past many years you've been friends.

but he does question WHO you were watching because ..

if it wasn’t him then it was someone else on his team

you shrug it off and change subjects

but what you didn’t know what was that, while Jeno and Mark were taking breaks on the bench Jeno was asking so many questions about you

“Dude you didn’t tell me y/n was so pretty”

“Ew are you gross??”

“??”

“She's so ugly lmao.”

“Shut up she isn't.”

“Yikes.”

Mark is such a bitch but you know he's only teasing

anyways, he catches on to Jeno’s peaking interest in you

“You know, if you like her I can ask her about you.”

Jeno starts choking on his water as Mark starts patting his back.

“Wha- I don’t l-like her wha??t the ?? fuck ?? lmao stopnfnsns”

that’s enough indication that does in fact like you he's just too scared to admit it because he's only met you like .. half an hour ago and you guys talked for .. 30 seconds at most

anyways,

on the way home Mark starts asking you questions about Jeno and you're getting hecka nervous bc ???

he wasn't supposed to know so soon ??

“Mark why do you keep asking me about him, I met him like an hour ago.”

“I’m just wondering what your opinion is on the guy, am I not allowed to ask questions?”

“well for your information, you nosy fuck, he seems really sweet and he’s really cute.”

“ah, noted.”

“noted for what??”

“lmao did i say that out loud?? lol dwbi.”

so of course you started freaking out because Mark is about to expose your ass

“Mark don’t tell him oh my god, don’t ruin my life!!”

“RELAX. i’m not.”

and so to your better judgement you trust that your best friend will do as he says.

(( spoiler alert: he doesn't ))

so for the next few days you’re forced once again by Mark to attend soccer practices

in turn, Mark gasses you up to Jeno and he gasses Jeno up to you

to Jeno:

“so as much as i want y/n dead sometimes, she’s a really good best friend. she cooks for me, she takes care of me when i’m sick, she can be kinda strict but she’s also super fun to be around, she likes to drag me to different places to explore and she loves going to new restaurants and she especially loves getting ice cream or donuts at 2 in the morning and then sitting on the roof of her car to talk. see, if you date her you’re in for a fun ass adventure ;)))))”

to you:

“Jeno is very dedicated to soccer but this boi is hecka smart, so friendly, he really likes going out and having f u n and he also enjoys volunteering at that daycare next to our school bc he likes kids, and YOU like kids and wow, he’s amazing-”

“are you sure you don’t wanna date him Mark?”

“stfu and listen to me bitch, he is very nice as well so I KNOW for a damn fact that he’s gonna treat u really well. and you know how protective i get when guys try to talk to you, but clearly i like Jeno enough to let him date you.”

after that, you two were instantly sold for one another.

sO, it’s thursday right, and after a practice Jeno taps you on the shoulder and is like

“s-so I heard you um, liked, ice cream,, do you maybe wannacomewithmeandgetsome?”

and you nearly combust on the spot bc JENO JUST ESSENTIALLY ASKED YOU OUT

on the inside ur like!!@$@$#%!

but on the outside ur like, “ya sure why not.”

so you go to Mark and tell him you’re going with Jeno and Mark just winks at you and tells you to have fun and aLSO “DON’T FORGET OUR FIRST GAME TOMORROW” before pushing you off to go with ur soon to be man ;)

so Jeno can drive which means he has his own car and he opens the door for you and you get in and it smells so CLEAN AND FRESH

(stan a hygienic king)

he suddenly pulls off his shirt and you're like o_o

and he’s like “oH MY GOD IM SORRY. force of habit?? I always change in my car.”

and you’re like “DW IT’S OKAY” like really, you’re not complaining

but anyways, he relaxes because the last thing he wants is to already make you uncomfortable and he's relieved he hasn't royally screwed this up

so you two drive to your local ice cream place and this boi pays for you

you told him it was okay but he refused 

so you guys go outside and the sun is starting to set and he helps you onto the hood of his car and he sits beside you

you guys start to talk

you tell him some stuff about your childhood, what subjects you liked in school, how Mark became your best friend,

all that Good Stuff

and then he begins to tell you about himself

he loves science and gym

hates math (but doesn't everyone tho lol)

he’s really close with his parents and he thanks them everyday for getting him into soccer

“My dad would play soccer with me when I was like 4, everyday he would take me out onto the backyard and set up a small net and I would play with him for hours until my mom would call us in for dinner, and then my mom noticed how good I was and she signed me up for a team and I’ve been playing ever since. They always encouraged me to get scholarships and to do my best, but only to do it so long as I was happy. And I think that’s why I love it so much is because they always made me feel confident about it and always encouraged me but they never pressured me to continue if I didn’t want to.”

you melt on the spot

and he would tell you what kinds of things he enjoyed doing other than soccer, and he, similar to you, liked going to new places and going on adventures 

“we should make a bucket list and go on adventures together”

“really?”

“Mark might get a little jealous, but he’s always complaining, and I’ve spent too much of my life with him.”

Jeno laughed and your heart skipped a beat bc he has such a nice smile

“okay, we’ll make a bucket list.”

and so you do.

and now you have a whole list of things Jeno and you plan to do together.

you haven’t realized how many hours you’ve spent in the parking lot, laying beside each other on the hood of his car, your ice cream finished a long ass time ago

you check the time on your phone

it’s almost ten o’clock

you’ve spent nearly six hours with the kid, not that you’re complaining but you really need to get home bc school tomorrow

so he drives you home and you’re watching him

you realize right then and there that you’re in deep for the kid

when he drops you off you feel kinda sad but it’s okay bc he knows you’ll text him

“Thank you for tonight”

“Don’t thank me, I would do this again a million times.”

your heart? sNATCHED.

“You’re coming to the game tomorrow right?”

“Of course I am.”

“Good.”

he leans over and kisses you and you’re STUNNED

but you kiss back obviously and 

you’re kissing for a solid minute before he pulls away, and his eyes crinkle into that eye smile

“I’ll see you tomorrow beautiful.”

“see you tomorrow”

aND YOU’RE ABOUT TO COMBUST BC WOW

and you walk into your house with biggest grin on your face and you go to sleep so so so happy

sO IT’S FRIDAY the school is joining for their first soccer game

everyone’s hyped as fuck and you’re wearing your school colours.

you get front row seats bc ur special to now TWO boys on the team

before the game starts Jeno sees you

“okay, fun fact, i always do a lot better when you watch me during practice, so now you’re my good luck charm. oh and also, if we win this game, you're my girlfriend.”

and with that he runs off and you’re just O_O but again

you’re not complaining

so the game starts and

things are going rly well

but then Mark gets benched for nearly assaulting someone on the opposing side and Mark is one of the best players 

and a few of the other guys are benched to give the other players a chance in the game

you’re currently winning anyways so you don't worry too much

but then

no offence but now the sucky players are on

and now,

unfortunately, they’re losing by a lot

and you feel sad bc you know how hard these boys worked and also, Jeno’s words “if we win this game you’re my girlfriend”

sO DAMN YOU RLY WANT THEM TO WIN

they’re losing by a lot and you’re all in a slump and even tho the coach is starting to put back the better players they have a lot of catching up to do

it’s down to the last minute and you’re tied to the other team

you’re now feeling hopeless and everyone is on edge hoping for the best 

Mark is now put back on to play

he passes the ball to Jeno and Jeno iS DOING THE FUCKING MOST

and guess what??

HE SCORES THE LAST GOAL SO

Y’ALL WIN!!

and so you run down the bleachers and you’re screaming and you practically tackle Jeno to the ground but boi is strong as fuck so he catches you and you’re so glad he won that you just

KISS HIM in front of the whole school

and everyone’s like screaming too now

and you pull away and he’s like

“you’re my girlfriend now.”

and the last thing he cares about is how he score the winning goal, all he’s focused on is that YOU’RE HIS GIRLFRIEND NOW

so fast forward, you’re officially dating

you’re dedicated as fuck to going to every single soccer game, and as tradition, you, him and Mark will go out for ice cream or pizza

sidenote, Mark gets a girlfriend so y’all will double-date a lot but also when you and Jeno hang out alone Mark no longer complains that he’s being left out

you’re still BFFs with Mark tho,

after all, he is the reason why you and Jeno are together.

Jeno as a boyfriend is honestly the most amazing feeling. 

he is exactly how Mark described him to you, and after practices he’ll often take you to that daycare he volunteers at and you and him have a good ass time with the kids

one time he accidentally blurted out that he couldn’t wait to marry you and have kids of your own

of course he was embarrassed but you reassured him that you were perfectly fine with having that future

so he often talked about your future kids a lot

“-And our little boy or girl is going to be the next best soccer player. He or she will take after their mother’s good looks and their father’s amazing ball skills.”

you feel like your heart is going to burst

and Jeno will often take you out onto the field and try and get you to play soccer

you suck at it

but he enjoys spending time with you

and he’s so happy you’re wiling to do the things he loves

because yeah, soccer, and you (and school) are his biggest priorities

he begs his coach to make another jersey with his last name and number on it so you can wear it to his games

which you do

your coach lowkey loves you guys together so he does it

and Jeno forces you to take cute couple pictures with the jerseys and captions it something cheesy like “the two things i love” with your username and a soccer ball and heart emoji next to it

and Jeno has two soccer hoodies and he gives one to you because it smells like him and you LOVE the way he smells

and he loves the way you look in his oversized hoodie

OH and that bucket list you two made?

you complete every single one

and add more to it

every day is an adventure with him tbh

you two have so much fun

and you two have the best late night talks

you become each other’s lovers and best friends (shh don’t tell Mark)

you guys are so close

“All thanks to me fuckers” - Mark Lee, 2018.

Jeno loves you so damn much man

and you love him so much too

he makes you so happy

and you’re so glad that he came into your life

(thanks to Mark)

[flamestoflight]

Lol literally have no idea what is going on with my life right now. Let’s look at some highlights:

- my friend who I’ve been trying to avoid because I feel dumb and embarrassed came up to me in between classes to talk to me about what happened and I ended up almost crying again :) in our classroom :)

- he said some things that made me feel worse and some that made me feel better and I really just wanna be friends with the boys again I just need to get out of my own head

- I also accidentally snapped at my roommate in the middle of that conversation which was super uncalled for and I feel like shit about it and I apologized to her when she got home but I could tell she was upset and I felt terrible and she said that she’s upset bc I get so stressed out and it stresses her out and she wants to help me but she feels overbearing and I just feel sad about it :(

- I’m having a wildly bold conversation via text rn lol it’s giving me anxiety and stomach drops and wtf am I doing 😂🤷🏼‍♀️but it’s also making me feel better bc I’ve in my head about something for the past like 3 weeks and this is actually smoothing some of it out

- turns out I was likely making the whole thing up in my head (shocker). And you know what, right now I’m just recklessly going for something that might be ridiculous and unrealistic but fuck it

- also making plans for tomorrow afternoon, kind of really looking forward to a chill day and hanging out with someone that’s easy to hang out with

- seeing my sister and my parents this weekend and hopefully will be in a better emotional state and won’t cry!!

- also it’s 10:45 and I’m exhausted and wide awake at the same time and im evaluating a stroke patient tomorrow morning which I’ve never done before sooo should be interesting? I’m excited tho

[assholemurphy]

so i forgot rafiki had a thing tonight (some video game thing the comp club puts on every semester, i wanna go to one but like, too many nerds, too many gross ‘nice guys’, etc) so i didn’t get kidnapped tonight, so my friends and i (minus rafiki, but plus gg, who is new and fucking great) hung out and ate cake. and we made a podcast (that will probs never be uploaded until we get enough common sense between us to have a solid fucking plan of what we want to do besides make bad jokes) which was great until somehow we got on the topic of trans ppl and pb and i got into an argument abt it (guess who’s on what side) and i can’t even remember how it was brought up??? but i’ve told him countless times i don’t want to argue abt lgbtq+ issues bc he’s a dumbass (like, he’s a great fucking guy, an absolute amazing human being, but he’s got misguided views and just generally doesn’t try to understand when i say stuff regarding lgbtq+ stuff) which just fucking spiraled into a p heated argument and i ended up crying bc i do that. i’ve got a lot of trauma regarding bdays and other family holidays and arguing tonight just made it so much worse, which sucks bc it was a rly nice day before that, like, i actually enjoyed it so much that when i was supposed to blow out my candles, i couldn’t think of a single wish so goldilocks blew them out for me, it was great. i’ve never been unable to think of something i want to wish for before, but like, being in theatre/finding my place in the world, finding the self confidence necessary to have sex with ppl when i feel like it (i’ve got two guys currently that wanna fuck me, but one of them sends up MAJOR warning signals so i’m probs not gonna fuck him, plus 1 maybe 2 girls that wanna fuck, it’s great, i love this shit, makes me feel good abt myself), having an apartment so i don’t have to live on campus/go home every break, and having some of the most amazing friends in the world, i couldn’t think of anything i rly wanted in that moment. i’ve got them, that enough for me, ya know? but then the argument started (and it wasn’t like the previous one we’d had abt communism vs. capitalism we’d had while the cake was baking bc that one evened out p quickly and we actually talked instead of just talking over each other) and everything went to shit. he threw his phone at me to make me read a source he’d found and i just kinda broke bc i’ve had things thrown at me all my life and even tho he said he didn’t do it in anger, it felt like it was, so i got pissed off and told him if he did it again, i’d hurt him (i’m a v angry person and i can get incredibly violent when i feel threatened or when i’m triggered back into a place where that kind of thing was the only thing keeping me alive) and so it just got worse and then he said something abt me thinking he was a horrible person and i called him a dumbass (bc that is the farthest thing from what i think, i don’t think i’ve met a better person ever, even if some of his views suck) and then i just kinda broke and hugged him and told him that he was stupid for even thinking i’d ever think that (i’m p sure i just called him a dumbass again and told him what i rly thought of him) and then things calmed down and it turned into a ‘hey, jackass (me), fix yourself, you absolute fuckwit’ talk, which we have often and things were worked out. he’s also the greatest person to hug bc while he is tiny, i trust him completely and therefore feel v safe when he’s touching me, unlike how i am with literally ever other person on the planet, and he’s the perfect height for me to put my head on his shoulder and yes, it’s nice, you should all get yourself a pretty boy, so he can make you cry and do all the exact wrong things at the wrong time and then fix them all completely by hugging you and telling you to straighten your shit out. it’s great. i could do without the first part, but like, i’ll take it. so things are fine now, i think. i hope.

but apparently most ppl in the theatre dept think i have a crush on him which is????? no???? wtf????? can a chick and a dude not be friends w/o ppl thinking this? must i be reserved and cold towards everybody in my life? am i not allowed to have a best friend that i’d kill for and trust explicitly and feel safe enough with to be the caring person i actually am underneath all my trauma? it’s fucking annoying and it bothers me so damn much. but he won’t tell me who keeps saying it and just kind of implies the whole theatre and i just, ugh, no. if i was gonna have a crush on a victory bro, it certainly wouldn’t be him. no offense to him or anything, i love the guy, but like, he’s too sweet and gentle and shit for my tastes. his brother on the other hand, well, eh, okay, this is more of a ‘if i had to pick or die’ kinda thing, bc i just can’t see myself wanting to date either one, tbh. i love them both, they mean the world to me, but they’re just friends. well, no, they’re my family, actually. but to date??? nope. but i have no idea what to do to make the dept not think this. no fucking idea. i just don’t like the idea of them thinking i’m pining after him when i’m decidedly not. the guy means the world to me and i’d fucking kill for him, hell, i’d die for him (and i don’t say that lightly), but just, no romo, dude. but w/e, i guess. let the masses think what they will, he’s perfectly aware i don’t have a crush on him and that’s all that matters (bc if those fucks made him think i did and caused our relationship to get weird, i’d kick all their asses one by one).

so i’ll probs be getting kidnapped by rafiki tomorrow night. then i’ll get drunk. but i’m also seeing my mom tomorrow after the show which will be nice (mainly bc i am broke and require a trip to walmart, mainly for soda, monster, and cigarettes, plus i need to go by the bank and put $20 on my card so i can pay the internet bill). i say nice. i mean ‘i hope it’s not painful’ but when it’s usually just us and not the rest of my family, too, then things are generally p chill. we’ll see how that works out.

i’ve got to be up at like, 11a, 12p at the latest tomorrow for the show bc call time is 12:30p (the show is at 2p, but i’ve got to sweep/mop the theatre and shit bc that’s my job as an asm, then i’ll have like 45 min to wait up in the booth with gg and pb (and eventually goldilocks) so it’ll be alright. but for right now, i’m gonna try to write a bit so i don’t fall asleep with my emotions running so high, bc if i do, the chances of me having night terrors increases tenfold. so, a bit of writing and then sleep by like 6:30a. i’ve been surviving off of 4/5 hours of sleep this week, so i’ll be fine on that much. i’ve got monster. i’ll survive. (i could survive just abt anything with enough caffeine, nicotine, and adderall, not even kidding.)

so, i’m off to write a bit. hopefully i can get at least part of the (incredibly fucking long, jfc, what the hell am i doing with my life) smut scene written tonight.

[secndlife]

got7 as fratboys: jaebum

a/n: ok so here’s the first one!!!!! it turned out waaaaay bigger than I expected but I hope y'all cope with me and read it all bc I think it’s worth it. as I said it, there’s a nsfw part at the end so skip it if you’re not comfortable with that. and please, hit me up with feedback!!!!!!!! those are very important so yeah

playlist

⇒ im jaebum: president

major: linguistics 

minor: philosophy 

ok so starting off with mr president himself: im jaebum!!!

ofc he was gonna be the president pls

so he majors in linguistics bc he wanted to do something different??? and like wanted to know the origins of words and its impacts etc etc LIKE DEEP STUFF

and he minors in philosophy bc well DEEP and he actually likes it a lot and he’s really good at it

you might think the guys don’t really respect him as a president but BITCH when jaebum is being serious they respect the hell out of him

he is the only one besides jinyoung that can actually put the place in order

a really good president???? like the university claims he’s an example even tho GOT had some complains in the past bc of it’s wild parties

he has this mysterious bad boy vibe all around him

but deep down he’s actually a softie

loves LOVES lOvEs his cat - her name is nora and she is the most precious thing to him

he wants to get more cats but he’s scared the guys will accidentally hurt them???? but getting more cats is totally on his plans

everyone on campus knows him - not just bc of GOT but well bc he’s that type of person that you just know who he is

he’s a MAJOR photography enthusiast

as you can see his instagram is totally aesthetic and with nice pictures

looks fucking good with a camera on his hands

actually looks fucking good doing anything

he’s also very passionate about music

like I told you he’s into deep stuff and he finds music quite deep

he’s actually a really good singer - youngjae said so himself

he also helps youngjae with his songs sometimes

they’re actually planning on recording jaebum a mixtape bc SURPRISE he’s really good at writing songs

has his earphones with him the whole time and don’t you dare touch them unless he offers to show you what he’s listening

yugyeom touched it without invitation once and well… it didn’t have a happy ending

his ipod is filled with pop punk songs and also rnb

reads a lot but not in public - no one actually knows why

maybe it has something to do with him wanting to keep this bad boy image around campus

has good grades bc he’s one of those people who are naturally smart and intelligent

he skips classes quite often

and when the guys wanna do it??? NO NO YOU BETTER GET YOUR ASS TO CLASS

bambam tried to argue once that “why can you skip classes and I can’t????”

jaebum dead ass played the president card and bambam just lowered his head and went to class

he usually skips it when he’s way too hangover or he didn’t get a good night of sleep

has some trouble sleeping at night sometimes so you’ll often find him taking short naps at his classes

when he’s at parties he’s very lowkey unless he’s REALLY drunk

then he turns into the most extra person on the planet?????

he once went down the stairs with nothing but wipped cream on his Parts™ bc he lost a bet he made when he was drunk

no need to say the girls went NUTS

talking about girls…. they all want him

they all wanna know what’s his deal like is he really intimidating is he a bad boy etc etc

he didn’t use to hook up a lot

actually he kinda fell in love with this one person but it didn’t end well

he got hurt and since then he only has sporadic one night stands and they are with girls from other universities so he won’t have to see them often

no one talks about this girl episode tho

actually he doesn’t actually talk about his problems openly at all

when he’s too bothered he goes to jinyoung bc they go way back and are truly best friends

jinyoung just gets him and isn’t scared to tell him when he’s wrong

BUT he has everything written down on his notebook: his lyrics, his feelings and everything that goes on his mind

it is black and it says “people I want to punch in the face” in the cover

he thought about putting a picture of nora but decided against it bc it was “too soft”

he carries this notebook with him at ALL TIMES like truly 24/07

and he doesn’t like anyone touching it in fact it is his most private thing and no one can read it

jinyoung almost read it once and jaebum caught him

jaebum didn’t speak to him for a few weeks and shit got serious but they got over it after jinyoung begged for his forgiveness for like 15 days straight

he goes to the same cafe every morning ever since his first year

everyone there knows him and his order

he usually stays there for quite a while just scribbling things on his notebook and drinking coffee

he likes his coffee dark and bitter and he says it’s just like his soul

no one buys this analogy tho

you must be wondering where do you fit in this

well you’re quite of a coffee enthusiast yourself and you love to go around on campus and discover new cafes etc

one day after your children’s psychology class you were wondering around campus near the philosophy building and there was this small cafe with a cat by the window and you thought oh cute

so you decided to come in and order your traditional caramel macchiato

from that day on you started going there almost every day

a few weeks later you noticed this handsome mysterious guy writing down on his notebook and you couldn’t stop looking???? and then you realized he was there everyday too

you sort of wanted to talk to him but he’s too intimidating

one day one of your friends went there with you and he told you about im jaebum and how everyone knows him and how intimidating he must be

so then you kinda dropped the idea of talking to him until

well one day he left the cafe in a huge rush babbling something about forgetting a test and he ended up leaving his notebook on his table

you decided to pick it up and save for him so you could give it back the next day

and so on the next day you’re drinking your coffee and he arrives and as soon as he sits you go there with the notebook in hands but things don’t go that well

“hm hey so you forgot this here yesterday and I-” “oh my god what are you doing with my notebook” “calm down greg I just picked it up for you bc you forgot it on the table” “DID YOU READ IT?” “no???” “tell me the truth did you read it” “I said I didn’t” “just give me my fucking notebook I’m leaving”

you stood there with this confused look but then you got mad???

“well here’s your fucking notebook. I didn’t read it. I wouldn’t invade your privacy like that. I just kept it bc I also come here everyday and I thought well I’ll be nice and save it so I can give him back tomorrow. I would’ve left it on the table if I knew you were gonna be this rude. here it is. have a nice day”

and you left bc you were angry????? who does he think he is????

so from that day on you kinda changed the time you used to go to the cafe bc you didn’t wanna see him

fast forward a few days and a friend from your children’s psychology class - choi youngjae himself - invites you to a party his frat is organizing and you decide to go like why not

then you remember im jaebum is the president of the frat

but then you think OH SCREW IT I’m going and I’m gonna have a good time

so you’re there and a few drinks have settled in already. you’re not drunk you’re just a bit tipsy and joyful

you finally see youngjae so you go there to say hi and you two start talking

then you notice that jaebum is coming your way and you can’t not roll your eyes

“you know her youngjae?” “yeah jae. she’s in one of my classes. wait you two know each other?” “unfortunately. jaebum was an asshole to me a few days ago so excuse me I have to go”

and youngjae is giving jaebum this look that says wtf did you do dude go apologize

jaebum rolls his eyes but he goes after you and he calls you “cafe girl”

you turn and you’re not in the mood so

“what do you want jaebum?” “I wanna know your name so I can apologize properly”

you debate on just leaving but you tell him your name and he just stares at you

“are you actually saying something or can I just leave?” “hm no! don’t leave.. I just.. I’m sorry. I was an asshole. I shouldn’t have acted like that, you know, like a stupid rude asshole.” “yup you shouldn’t” “so I’m really sorry. and grateful that you kept my notebook. it’s really important to me and very personal so that’s why I acted like that.” “ok noted” “can I get you a drink to earn your apology and then we can talk like two normal people?”

you thought about saying no. you did. but he had the prettiest and most genuine smile across his face and you couldn’t deny

and then you two talk all night long and you find out he’s actually a really nice and cool guy with a great talk

so it’s late and you have to go home and he offers to walk you to your dorm and you tell him there’s no need but he insists and you let him

you two keep on talking and walking and he grabs your hand and when you look at him he has the cutest smile and that makes you wanna kiss his face but you don’t

you get to your dorm and you two exchange numbers and as soon as your inside your room you get a text

[01:35] jaebum: I really wanted to kiss you tonight. but I’ll take you on a proper date before that. are you free tomorrow?

so from that day on you two start hanging out and getting to know each other and going on dates and cute cafes and holding hands across campus and kissing under trees like this huge walking cliche

at first girls kept staring at you like they were surprised that THE im jaebum has a girl

and it was funny bc he walked with his arm around you like you were the most precious thing on the campus and the girls also looked kinda jealous

he allowed you to read something on his notebook once: it was a bunch of scribbled notes about you and it was so sweet and loving and then he asked you to be his girlfriend so BOOM you two were official

the guys start teasing the hell out of him because WOW you’ve turned jaebum into this huge ball of fluff

he’s really this soft dork whenever your around and that’s really cute

you two have this ritual of going to That cafe every morning and when one of you can’t make it the other one picks up coffee for the go

you had to be approved by nora in order for this relationship to work and sometimes he regrets it bc he swears you and nora like each other more than you two like him

it took him a while to open up to you but he did eventually

he makes you cds in a very old fashion way every month with songs he wants to show you or that make him think of you

and you give him this list with book recommendations so you can discuss later

you spend a lot of time at the frat helping him out with his president duties

he walks you to his classes

loves LOVES seeing you in his jackets or with the frat’s shirt

takes a lot of pictures of you - really, a lot. you’re having dinner? his camera is up. you’re putting make up? his camera is up. you’re sitting on the couch? his camera is up. like literally he has a ton of pics of you in his camera roll

you can keep him in check when he’s too nervous or too stressed and that’s great

he’s a bit jealous sometimes but he’s getting better

sex is a very important thing for him bc he belives that sex is a way to express love

like honestly he is very very sexy and he basically exhales sex so

usually he’s a dom and into rough sex

but there are some days when he just wants to appreciate you so he goes in deep for passionate sex and those days are amazing

sex is always very intense and intimate

not much into trying new things but will do it for you

never steps over your boundaries when it comes to sex (actually over anything but especially in bed) and you trust him a lot so

has a huge oral kink and also likes hair pulling

doesn’t care about doing it when the guys are around the dorm

overall he’s not the typical frat boy and a very soft person and you two became the bossy royalty couple and everyone loves you two

[kitwilsonsass]

anyway at some point i should probably ramble about my trip to boston?? so i’m gonna go ahead and do that??

like right off the bat let me just say the worst [art was actually GETTING to mass. my train was supposed to leave at 9:55am, and around 7:50 i got a text saying it was delayed until 1:03pm. we arrived around noon, and gradually my anxiety about going on the trip turned into anxiety of NOT getting on the trip as the board kept delaying... and delaying... and delaying...

....and then it started pouring out. crazy wind. murmurs the train lost signal and all contact with the station. after i finally got on (at 3:00pm), my aunt texted me that all that? yeah. that was a tornado warning. wat.

i got a pair of seats to myself for most of trip. fought with my wifi. listened to the crazy lady rant about dope ruining america a few rows back. mostly enjoyed the view and basked in the fact that i was not, shockingly, puking my stomach lining out. until we got to utica, and a shit ton of people got on.

my seat buddy then became an almost cute 18 year old dude with dreads and a lower half trash polka sleeve who was more interested in his earbuds than anything so i was fine with this. until we were about to MA and a few exchanged word and lazy lounging around turned into him doing THING guys think is cute where they lowkey rub your skin with the side of their finger against my thigh. so i ended up sitting up and the next stop he moved his shit to another seat. YEAH BYE.

along the way we kept having to stop bc signal problems and track construction and letting other trains pass. needless to say the train that was supposed to get in at like 8pm got in at at like 2:30am.

it was miserable, and raining. rachel got us an uber and i sat in the back seat next to some chick wh was super pretty and dressed up and here i was, a goblin, smelling like train restoom, in an ill fitting deadpool hoodie and yoga pants.

when we got to her place she made me some ramen (WITH THE RANDOM EGG AND EVERYTHING) that was good but spicy af and my stomach noped out and tbh over a week later my stomach is just now letting me eat properly again. tho i’m blaming this more on the issues with my abdomen acting up prior to leaving than the actual trip (tho, my skin having pores the size of actual craters i am blaming on the trip). i think the one thing we ate that DIDN’T act up in my body was the awful chicken wings we got from Wings Over that were about half fat and ridiculously undercooked. it figures.

ANYWAY. her futon is huge. it’s sad that i have more leg room on a futon than an actual mattress, but whatever. and there was construction going on across the street. fun fact: i came home to construction going on on MY street. so this was inescapable from the jump.

day 1 i got cute as possible and we hopped a bus and a train. my stomach was less forgiving of the motion here, but i lived. i saw Ron, the T-Rex. and we went to the isabella gardner museum where she lied and said i was a student. i was then asked a bunch of questions about being a student, none of which i was prepared for, and i’m pretty sure the only reason they let me in was because my zip code was accurate. that place is massive and pretty gorgeous from head to toe and i can’t fathom ever being that fucking rich.

then we went to get some food at a nifty little bar and restaurant . the name is escaping me rn but i stole a coaster. again, the food did not agree with me, and i could do a review on boston restrooms at this point. but it was great.

NINJA SEX PARTY! the house of blues wasn’t as bad as reviews made it sound, and aside from the mess that was the merch table they we kind of cheated like assholes due to some pretty honest confusion, was a good time. the line was MASSIVE. we got there an hour early and it was already around the corner and hard to miss. by the time we got towards the front of the building, it was around the block. we met a couple younger dudes from maine and a significantly more awkward gentleman more our age to keep us entertained. there were some street musicians. some asshole staff. you know.

all i really have to say about the concert itself was it was probably the best live music show of any kind i’ve ever been to and definitely the most enjoyable environment (huge tall dude who kept, somehow, ending up directly in front of me aside). everyone sounded amazing live, even if we were RIGHT under the speaker stage left and now permanently have bass vibrations embedded in our bones.

day two we hit up the museum of fine arts, which is massive and we didn’t see all of (and i paid full price for, thank you very much) and then grabbed a pizza and those awful wings and intended to chill out with some boy meets world. but the disks wouldn’t play. so we settled on mst3k. and let me tell you, i have not nearly cried from laughter in something as much as ‘cry wilderness’ nearly made me fucking cry.

day three we headed to south station to meet probes and hung out. there were a bunch of food trucks outside that were kinda neat. we didn’t think that girl would ever fucking find us, but she did. everything was OKAY. NO NEED TO PANIC. NO FIVE HOUR DELAYS. jess gives massive hugs, for the record.

we hit up a spot for lunch where they served be like, the biggest plate of pasta and bread i have ever witnessed in my life. i felt wasteful only eating barely half of it. then we found our way to the trains and the aquarium just in time for some sweet penguin education and eventually a lecture on their huge ass fucking tank that takes up the entire center of the room with a 90 year old sea turtle in it and some sharks and string rays. it was pretty cool, yo.  i got a stuffed squid in the gift shop, even tho we did not see any giant squids (0/10 do not recommend) and outside jess gave me a present even though i fucking told everyone no presents (RAChEL ALSO GAVE ME NAIL POLISH AND A WRISTBAND WTF). it was a new day candy bar from fye. and yes, pop rocks n chocolate is surprisingly pleasant.

our PLAN was to go see hitmans bodyguard. but everyone showing it before like 7 was only showing 3d, and we wanted to get her on a bus home by 9. haha what fucking suckers @ us, because the bus didn’t leave until like 10. so we got shitty milkshakes, hit up the comic shop, and wandered around harvard for a bit until it got dark. and then were stuck at south station, wondering if she was going to be stuck in MA forever. reflecting on two quiet nerds and one extrovert being a not great possible combination of three people. but i still had a good time.

day 4 we did, in fact, see hitmans bodyguard and while it was mostly forgettable summer action lulz, i do ship the hell out of samuel l jackson and salma hayek now. so that’s cool. it was a fun time. hit up the park after, and a b&n to get schooled on peak writing stephen king. then we went to starbucks and i HAD STARBUCKS FOR THE FIRST TIME?? it was the double choc ship frap thing. it’s good. i’m mad about it.

we headed back, did laundry, ordered food. i ought her dream daddy, which was a waste of money, but i do take pride in just knowing she’s stuck having technically played a portion of dream daddy now. it’s her own fault for asking about it, it really is. mostly we watched more mst3k, some grumps shit, some random shit, some postmodern jukebox, had a drink. just chilled. and the ‘oh... fuck... haha... i have to go home tomorrow’ feeling hit when i turned off the lights.

i was too bummed the next day for much of anything tbh. i get depressed after anything fun. i get depressed after wwe shows, lmao, so for the trip to already be over when it suddenly seemed like i just got there sucked. plus it only just then really hit me i was in a different part of the country, if that makes sense even if it was only one state over. it was a weird realization as someone who never travels to have.

the train home i wasn’t so lucky to be alone most of it. i ended up in an aisle seat with a college girl. we minded our own business. stuck directly under the AC that was way too cold. a woman and a fucking baby sitting the next row over the second any space cleared out. had a layover in albany where an old guy made me a shot of iced chocolate espresso which he had never been asked to make before, and truthfully, i’d never had before, but it was alright. i actually enjoyed the layover as some weird, space between spaces, time to reflect on my own in an unfamiliar place kind of thing.

we got in around midnight, my aunt picked me up. got home around one.

that was that.

i had a really good time. i’m sure it didn’t seem that way. i’m like that. but i did and i appreciated the opportunity and definitely appreciated rachel for letting me freeload on her futon and showing me around and making me ramen i felt guilty for not finishing.

the city was nice. i’m sure i was only seeing the nicer parts, mind you, but compared to rochester or buffalo it just felt wider, cleaner. idk. i didn’t HATE it, and as someone who hates being in cities for more than a couple hours, it wasn’t bad.

it was a great time away from the world and despite the stress of coming home to everything, and a room without molding on the door (which was, for the record, still locked), i did feel a lot better afterwards. i still do.

=)

[survivormontenegro]

Episode 11: “Recalibrate How I’m Playing This Game” - Caeleb

okay I'm writing a long confessional then going to bed.

Jules was robbed. I was really gonna idol them when Jones/Caeleb told me Jules was getting votes, but Jules was only getting 5, and I naively thought both that Jason wasn't going to flip and Tom wouldn't self vote AGAIN ASKDLJFAF.

I'm frustrated because I love Jules. Jules was robbed and deserved better than having to deal with Alex who like will tell Jules they made a mistake and ugh. I'm frustrated that I didn't idol Jules, even though it wouldn't have been smart and would've put me in a tough game spot, its just all super tricky sigh.

in other news, Jones/Mo/Mitch need to go. I'm super proud of Mo for doing something (like genuinely) and not playing passively, I defo underestimated him, but him and Jones have way too much sway on this tribe, tied to Mitch who is clearly able to work people.

I think a good end-group for me would be Me/Benj/Tom/Julia. I really really like Caeleb but he actually is playing super smart, so I really don't think I can have him sticking around much longer.

I think a good new bootlist is: Jones > Mitch > Mo > Jason > Caeleb

I'm just frustrated because Jules was robbed and really did not deserve that, Mo/Jones are too powerful, and now so is Mitch. I'm gonna idol one of them out, and I'm going to love doing it.

Holy fuck what the fuck that worked. Ok so here’s what just went down, Jules said to Jason that she’d be fine voting out either me or Mitch. People were leaning towards Mitch. We had like 20 minutes left and we started discussing and I threw out to Jones, what if we get Jules out, but she kinda ignored it and carried on with the Mitch plan. Because Jules has a lot of connections I can understand why Jones would be hesitant. So then I throw the pitch rob Caeleb and Mitch throws the pitch to Jason and they’re both on board. But that would of only been five people. Meaning it most likely would of tied so we were like ok I guess we’ll just vote Mitch. BUT THEN BENJ GETS ONLINE and he’s like “Yeah I’ll vote Jules.” SO I SCRAMBLE BACK TO CAELEB LIKE WAIT VOTE JULES WE HAVE THE NUMBERS. SAME WITH JONES AND JASON. WE GET JULES OUT. Which of course is sad because she’s literally a sweetheart and she’s super funny, but she had so many people in her corner and her and Ali combined was a scary combo. BUT I MEAN I HAVE A COOL GAME MOVE IN MY POCKET NOW THAT I DID (with Mitch) BUT WOW ME.

Whew chile!!! I must admit that vote was VERY scary and VERY hectic. I thought for a moment my game was ending. Thankfully my social relationships with people allowed me to stay and send the person who was targeting me home (Jules). Now this is GREAT for me because i trusted Jules the least on the merge tribe. The communication thing never worked out between the two of us but i still find her to be a very nice person :). In regards to the vote, Mo/Caeleb, Benj, Jason, and Jones all voted to save me. To me, I feel like this means im in a really good position because everyone likes me enough to SAVE me. Up until 5 minutes before the deadline, I thought i was done for. I gotta be careful with who I work with in the future because my threat level is rising. People in touchy subjects saw me as the one who thinks they are running the game but are not, but man is this far from the truth. I'd like to say that although I didn't know what was going on COMPLETELY, I still pretty much helped/forced the target onto the person who went home. Ian- Told Alex about how I suspected Jason and Ian of being a duo (correct assumption according to ali) and everyone ended up splitting between the two (I did not care who went). Alex- I pushed very hard for alex to go because he was so dang controlling and i found that very threatening. Jules- targeted me first but I never trusted her because of how little we spoke. When she decided to target me it was the icing on the cake. Hopefully these next few rounds are smooth sailing because we NEED easy votes for at least a little bit.

okay so i am trying SO hard for immunity, like its not even funny. i think i have 100+ points right now, with more videos uploading and with more planned photos tomorrow. immunity would be SO sweet, because that'd guarantee me a spot in the F8, and with my idol F7.

in other news. if i haven't said it enough, it must be said again. BENJ IS SUCH A KING. like today he told me he wants to go to F4 with Julia and Tom. I truly, truly could have shed and wept real tears. That is exactly the F4 I want, like EXACTLY ,and Benj agrees, and we are going to make it HAPPEN.

He also wants to separate Mo/Jones this round... and like honestly, I'm so down. Like I think he wants to vote off Mo versus Jones which I think is a bad idea, since Jones is a better talker and more of a threat, but his argument about Jones being a shield makes some sense.

my ideal bootlist moving forwards for the season, although it requires like julia/tom to stick with me and benj pretty tightly, is:

Mo/Jones > Mitch > Jason > Mo/Jones > Caeleb > F4: Me/Tom/Benj/Julia

and also since i love doing this for no reason, this would be my ranking of those left if i was to go to jury this round:

Mitch > Jason > Jones > Benj > Caeleb > Julia > Mo > Tom

Mitch is SO savvy, and so likable, and I could see as a definite winner, having survived so much. I can't decide if Jones is a threat because she is just so likable, or if she is actually palying super well, but I have both her and Jason very high in my opinion. Benj is so smart, I feel like he probably isn't considered as such by the other threats, but I hear him talk game - he is super woke. Caeleb is actually playing a very smart game too, flipping back and forth. I definitely underestimated him in early merge, his MIND. Julia I think is super game-savvy, just her style gets in her own way sometimes. Mo I feel like definitely did stuff last vote, but I see him as Jones' shadow/goat right now so would need to see much more. Tom I'm stuck because him self-voting twice I think almost definitely excludes him from winning so its hard to tell how I'd feel about him in an FTC. the main thing is that... we shall see.

BUT I AM WINNING IMMUNITYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Sending this now bc I forgot. Jason beat me in reward OOPS but I can still possibly win immunity,,,,,? Maybe?

Eek me at jules being voted out, honestly i didnt really know what was going to happen at that tribal for the sole fact that everything started moving whilst i was asleep but im kinda shocked that it ended up being jules.... Like i personally wouldnt have made that move right now maybe in like 2 more rounds. Its quite scary the fact that mitch got so many people to turn on jules when i thought she was quite the loved player. So I've gotta keep an eye out for him he's probably playing the best game atm but i think ill try to take him out sooner rather than later

I think I might have to recalibrate how I’m playing this game. I honestly didn't think I was all that close to Jules so her cursing me kinda surprised me. SO, that means I think a lot of people are gonna be cursing me in the upcoming rounds. Not that I am planning a lot of blindsides, I just feel a lot closer to the people actually left. Julia might be the only one that wouldn't curse me at this point, but also she might because she doesn't like me all that much. And being cursed a bunch might put a really large target on my back too.

y'all i just found another idol im SCREECHING. and its a boujee one too, a sapphire idol. I'm so AHHHHHHHHHHHHH, i know where 2/3 idols are for sure, I'm truly screaming.

This was me an Mitch on call when we realized we had the numbers to vote out Jules

heres the thing, i prefer the selfie scavenger hunt when im on a team because that way im motivated to get stuff done out of fear of letting everyone down. where as by myself, i let myself down all the time. ali is scary good at comps and im lazy.

ALI FOUND THE MERGE IDOL AND ITS A SAPPHIRE IDOL AHHH!!!

IM SO HAPPY FOR HIM/US BUT ALSO LOWKEY PISSED BECAUSE I GET ALL THE BRIDGE STEPS AND THEN HE GETS LUCKY AT THE VERY END LMAO. AGAIN.

BUT OH WELL ATLEAST ITS NOT SOMEONE ELSE!!

And if I had any doubts (I never had) about him betraying me before I have 0 now.. u like have to really trust someone to tell them u have 2 idols LOL I could literally expose so much right now

BUT IM NOT GONNA WOO!!! BEST DUO IVE EVER HAD! Like I know it will be hard to beat him at the end but idc I want that duo story for us

Literally an idol magnet king I knew I chose the best ally on day 1

sapphire idols sound kinda annoying tho cuz u cant choose who its played on . like what if ur plan actually works and u idol the person u wanted gone LOL

lowkey would rather a normal idol ?? anyways ali went off in immunity and its final 9 idk who will go but I kinda want like mo gone (king) but we have no strategic bond so.. plus he will slip by to the end otherwise

I doubt that plan is gonna work tho cuz idk how to lead votes!! im flop sheep!

Update on idol hunt - I'm killing johnny

Update apparently I’m running a vote KSKSKKFMFMFFK take back EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT NOT NEEDING POWER LMAOOOO

ok so Storytime

I’m talking to Tom at like 5:00-6:00 ish, and he says he hasn’t heard anything but he’d be down to vote Julia if other people were voting Julia (at this point this is the only name and it was said by Tom and that’s it)

At this point I tell Mo what Tom said (Bc tom and I were talking about Mo) and he said he wasn’t surprised Julia’s name was brought up

Talk to Mitch at like 7:00 ish and he’s apparenrly being targeted by Ali and for whatever reason I have this hero complex and I wanna save him all of a sudden?? I also feel like he’ll be a big shield down the road that everyone else would want out over me so it makes much more sense to keep him? SO I tell him about Julia.

I Run to Mo, tell him about Julia plan he’s on board. MOs talking to Caeleb, and Jason wouldn’t go behind Mitch’s back. So that’s already 5 people I think voting Julia, 6 if we include Tom and 7 if Benj also knows. Which I’ll probs tell him.

So ya??? Turned an idea into a plan!! I’m doing that y’all. Idk?? I’m proud. I don’t need need this much power after this round or else my ego will be the size of my dick but!!! Idk guys I’m proud of myself.

(Literally only 35 minutes later)

Literally having a stroke tonight laid ease

Uhm apparently Tom/Jason/Ali had an alliance and were trying to get me out and tried throwing me under the bus to Julia and tried saying shit I didn’t say,, so ya,,, :)

Tom tried twisting it like I was the one who threw Julia’s name out bc apparently she’s inactive? Which is cute,, I said jack shit about that. So ya.

Um I’m voting Tom tonight now. I’m an indecisive bitch tho so it might change but. Fuck Tom. We gotta break up this alliance apparently. Julia’s the only person that’s said shit to me this whole day about what’s happening so I’m more likely to believe her than anyone else sooo ya. Fuck Tom. Fuck these men.

[survivor-kuwait]

Episode 6 - "Going to bide my time before I could take a shot at any of them." - Maynor

Damn, between Renee and Chloe to get the choppy choppy and it's Renee. the two people I have been speaking to. Wtf. Also clearly Chloe has not been stepping up that much with the social game. i need to find better people to align with.

Well, that didnt go according to plan and now Im by myself. I really trusted Renee in this game. Like I dont have anyone else in this game like that kind of connection. If Im being honest i dont think any of these people really want to work with me 🤷‍♂️ There like 3 people i feel like i can trust but they might just be total bs but theres Ian, Matt S, and Timmy. Even tho i feel like Timmy is gunna want to kill me soon. The only good thing is that i know F2,G2 were hits. So i need to guess at 5 am for 2 days to have all the hits me and Renee discovered. Hopefully no one has found this one either. Cuz i feel like i really need an idol if I end up in warzone again.

God not being us to Skype is really causing me inactivity. Hopefully it doesn't bite me in the ass.

These people are dumb. That is all. Miss you Renee :(

Can i just scratch everything i said before? Im just gunna play a solo game from now on and not care about anyone else. No one really seems they want to play with me. So im just gunna be a floater in the game to try n make moves happen. Hopefully if i end up in warzone these people would actually try and talk game then waiting to the last ugly minute to is so annoying. The only person i hope voted with me is Matt. I really enjoyed talking to him so hopefully he is trustworthy. Like i also want to believe Trace voted Cloe but he doesnt seem someone you should trust but he was the one to tell me it was between Renee and Cloe so like he told the truth but maybe not the way he was voting. Rant down for now. Might have more.

Renee was voted out at the last Warzone, my initial reaction was she was voted out because she had won multiple immunities and people wanted to pick off others that were perceived as challenge threats.  This is partly influenced by my prerogative to vote off people who can beat me in challenges.  My whole premerge game is about me being perfectly average in challenges, I don't do the best but I don't do the worst.  I'm always a solid contributor to my tribe, this format has me second guessing that motif I have for myself. I questioned Corey when he was added back into the Nar chat as to why Renee was voted out, he reminded me of the fact that he felt Renee has had it out for him since the get go.  I believe him in that sense because he did say that to me on founding day of Nar.  If Corey fully swayed that vote to go to Renee because of those reasons that's a player I want to ally with and be my shield. I think there were ulterior motives going on behind it though.  That being said, I do want Corey to see me as a long term partner in this game, I shared with him the fact that I have an advantage, but not my true advantage.  I told him that I have a double vote, a double vote is probably the weakest power any one could have in Survivor but seems powerful in a Warzone type setting.  Letting him know I have a "double vote" endears him to my side, without him actually knowing I have a pretty strong advantage, The Topaz Idol. It's like a double vote but more like a multiple vote. Chloe keeps surviving and I am so fucking here for it, the more her tribe wants her gone the better it is for everyone on Nar if we can fucking stick together, I don't trust them to stay strong but who knows how people will hide when their neck is at risk.  Chloe is an "easy vote" shield but also a vote with Nar the more Ma'an, henceforth will be refered to as "Mane", wants her to be booted.

okay uhm.....so this confessional is coming after the tribal council in which renee was voted out. i was completely blindsided and not in the loop at all about the vote there. i ws told by literally everyone that the vote was chloe and that she was 100% going out. so when renee's name came up 6 times, i was completely shocked. corey told me that the reason i was left out of the loop for the vote was because i'm close to madison and madison is close to renee. so they didn't tell me so tht i wouldn't tell madison. hmm....seems fishy! let's just say i came out of this tribal council not trusting anyone but madison. i'm glad she is my partner and i'm gonna try and get us both immunity this round so that we don't risk going to another tribal bc i could def see us becoming a target soon

I had my masters exam today so i couldnt spend all day doing it which sucks. I only got up to 31. I dont think imma win immunity. Im most likely going to warzone and Imma be going home most likely if Madison/Jacob/Kage are in there. It sucks. Imma keep trying but i also work at 5pm and challenge is due at 7 so i lose 2 hrs there and its 3:20 right now. And cuz all this I havent eaten at all today.

What I have learned from this challenge is that both the movie Sausage Party as well as Female Genital Mutilation have more average searches per month than World Hunger..by a large margin too, and if that doesn't show what's wrong with this world then I don't know what will.

Corey sending me a message ‘i want to touch up on the vote from last night’ I said okay amd what happened? He has not responded at all. Like you lied thats the simplest answer. Because Renee and I werent coming for you so there wasnt a main reason that I could think of to take out Renee.  But gunna be nice and play like oh no worry, i understand. Going to bide my time before i could take a shot at any of them.

This is it, corey and devon are safe, nehe isnt. If I can get chloe and others on board nehe will go home tonight. However.... nehe told me he has an idol, so that complicates things. Ideally I can blindside him and we’re good, but doubting that I just have to make sure the other votes dont land on me. Which means... subtlety. Never my strong point.

Ah shit here we go again. Last tribal really left me with a lot of pieces to pick up and I’m really wishing we had done the easy thing and voted chloe. I like her but I worry that I won’t be able to salvage a relationship with Maynor and Madison who I do like. I’m content with being honest about flipping, even tho I did sort of augment the circumstances. It’s better than doubling down and saying I voted for chloe when I didn’t. And truly I do wish I had voted with them so I hope I can convey that. Being back with Adrian is interesting because he is super close with Corey and Corey sort of has some followers here who I don’t really have strong relationships with without him connecting us. I also feel really nervous about playerslike him and Nehe who are bringing old game shit in, and I don’t want to be collateral damage in their wars against one another. I’m ready to do my own damage.

With immunity again after last week's tribal council, I am feeling pretty good. Devon, Ian and Trace are immune with me and there p much couldn't be a better group of immune people (Trace and Adrian are interchangeable). I hope, from those who are at tribal, Madison, Matt, Adrian and Cullan make it out unscathed. Renee leaving last week was a success to me. I took the first shot and I didn't miss. It also gave me 5 people who I built trust with who will want to use me as an asset later on (those who were part of the plan). As for this tribal council, Maynor or Thomas leaving is ideal. We left Maynor out on the vote this week so I don't know if he'd flip easily to the other side (sort of like Chloe voting with us to get Renee out). However, to keep 4 available immunity positions in our tribe, ideally it's someone from the other side that leaves. I have not interacted with Thomas once nor Stevie (but Stevie is Owen's capricorn tribe mate). Those two boys leaving would be fine by me. I hope there are fights and drama and whatnot as the more things happen and we focus on other people's business, the more I can fade back into the background after getting Renee out last week. With Nehe at tribal this time, who knows. Ian and I have gotten really close and I hope to get far with him. He told me about his double vote and we made our loyalty/alliance to one another official I guess? I also am part of a 4 person alliance, termed "Golden Boys" of Devon, Adrian, Matt and myself. I am trying to set myself up as much as I can so that when we merge or tribes get swapped around, I have people I can rely on. We'll be down to 17 people tomorrow night which is still a very big number and way too early to be loud or making flashy moves. I'm in the process of uncovering an idol or some power of sorts and believe I will have it tomorrow because I have 4 hits on it as of today. I will tell Ian about it. I trust him. I am staying alert and continuously developing my social game to the best of my abilities.

I’m so happy I am safe this round! Kait, Owen, and I are the only ones on our tribe who have been immune every round. I would love for us to group together to keep each other safe, but also I know out of the three that I am the weakest one. But for the time being it seems like at least an okay idea. I will try to make it happen and see where it goes because we could all be good together  and work something out because when merge comes people will try to target those who have been safe for the longest time. At least naturally that’s what i would try since they are more likely to win individual immunity. I just hope things work out well for the next couple of rounds.

So I learned lots of things from Matt in this warzone. It looks like it was gunna 5-5 vote last time but he flipped last second not wanting it to be a tie. Im some what upset cuz Renee left but Matt wants to play with me so I feel like I can trust him. I hope. Turns out that Madison actually did vote with me last time so she is in my good side again and i feel bad for doubting she was with me. This vote I want it to go my way. Im hoping i can pull it off. My target is still unknown for right now. Im not the only one that feels like Nehe is a snake. Adrian and Matt know that he is a sneaky player. Tbh I would want to target him sooner rather than later.

I'm starting to think Madison is sitting out all of these challenges to get into the warzone to try to build relationships to propel herself forward if she makes merge, it's a risky strategy but would have huge pay off if it works. I'm gonna go ahead and subvert her expectations by pointing that out to Corey and hopefully get the rumor mill going against her. I see you and I don't like it.

So the vote looks like its gunna be Nehe and Im okay with that. I dont really trust him after he lied to me about the first vote we were together. It may bring my schances of immunity down to 3 but its worth having people to trust in this game.

Love the safety again...naturally I don’t have much to say because I haven’t gone to tribal in a while and I’m so thankful for that. Tbh I’m assuming Chloe will go tonight because it’s the easiest vote but who knows. Hoping it’s someone from the other tribe though that way there can still be 4 safe on my tribe. But also I want a twist tonight.

Tirns out I dont need to plot, we’re voting nehe tonight. Thanks Cullan. However, in case of an idol play I’m voting thomas, plausible deniability and all that.

Ok, so this vote I am controlling very well in my favor as long as I’m not the one going home. I believe I have everyone on Nehe and Nehe is voting Thomas. Nehe thinks all of Nar is voting with him to vote out Thomas who is inactive so let’s hope I don’t get blindsided.

[photonconductor]

i dont have an ao3 but shout out to my homeboys

once upon there was a gay on th e moon bc of a really lovng alternate au idea where elc turened BAD and klaus had a 1000 year nap and it'd take too long to fucking explain this so just roll with it ok. this gay--its elcrest btw hes also a Bad Boy now; he rly likes hot topic and thinks those t shirts with sarcastic sayings are actually rly funny but we all know they aren't--was feleing emo bc he couldn't see his bf xen o bc he betrayed him. so he stayed in his room whining abt how fgay he was until eve showed up

"hey whats wrong elc mother is here for u" even tho shes like 5000 years old and looks like shes 2 and also a rock (but im not rockist guys i promise). elc looked at her with his optics shining in the pale argentate light. good thing hes the seme here bc otherwise he'd start crying. in reality he rly wanted to fucking bone xeno bc obviously they had a lot of gay sex b4 they tried to kkill his mom once nad staring at rocks all day kinda sucks.

a;so burnign alive but hes kind of over that phase.

"im sad my bf left me for 1000 years can i pls go back to earth my raging hard on can't be satisfied bc rocks. my dicks not a jack hammer even tho im jacking it all the time (thats what guys do right bitch i dont know)" eve was so offended she put her hands on her giant rock self thats not just herself. its rly fucking complicated shut up u came here for the gay sex not instructibles on how physical forms manifest.

"we dont say ROCKS in this household young man!!!!"

"ＢＵＴ ＭＯＯＯＭＭＭＭＭ sorry i forgot to turn off my seme voice lemme adjust my mic it happens when my dick is hard" elcrest coughed twice "ok sounds good, BUT MOM I RLY NEED TO NUT. YOU KNOW NUT I'M SAYING... ITS ALL OR NUTTING BUT MOSTLY NUTTING IN XENO'S SWEET HOT BUNS"

"stop talking abt nuts u disgusting boy fine, god, if u leave me alone u gaylord"

and then eve punched him so hard in the dick that elcrest landed on earth in a giatn crater. how hes still alive is bc he still had some continues left like in mario even though this is a srpg game. once elc recovered he struck a pose and laughed evilly while twirling his mustache.

"finally...... I have RETURNED for xeno's hot man breasts! the world cannot stop me now!!" he cackly cackkled and quickly ripped off the fake mustache he put on just for this one scene. then elc went on a quest to find where klaus was and bc the author is too lazy to write any tansitional scenes.

elc found him chilling in his bed reading a book that was called Sweets and You: Do sweets make u inherantly Gay? elcrest made the PFFT noise. ofc they make u gay, fuckiing idiot book. he could write better than that author. in fact, elcrest was gonna do that when he got home bc obviously if this trash is published any shit elc wrote would be good.

NO! he had to focus! but he couldnt stop staring at xenos man boobs and felt his dick get hard again. elc got a nose bleed too bc thats what happens in anime right. i played persona 4 i know what im about

"damn u xeno." elc said thru his nosebleed and klaus looked up bc the author cant fucking rmemeber who is klaus and who is xeno and was surprised i remmebred his name but could not remember remember the 5th of novemember

"what"

"XENO IT IS I" since h e was caught red handed he just kickflipped through the window anyway. he did a sick flip then stood in the middle of klauses room. klaus made a gay gaspp

"alto! what are u doing hre!?" klaus said, bc in this AU that was his codename. elc wanted to be currently doing that but eve said no. fuck his mom. except please dont bc i know you sick fucks are thinking abt it.

"I HAVE COME TO BRING YOU BACK TO THE GAY SIDE, XENO WE HAVE COOKIES. bc i really miss that bammin slammin bootilicious sex we used 2 have and you are in fact bammin slammin bootilicious. also have u heard the word and gospel of our savior mother" elc said gayly

"dude no please stop preaching in my house im a changed man now" xeno pirouetted out of bed

"cmon man im ur seme u cant refuse we made like a yaoi blood oath u cant go back on ur word" elc pushed him back on thebed bc he'd have his ass yet anyway so no real use getting up. bc what is consent anyway hes Bad

"o shit really huh" klaus paused in thougt and bad elc laughed evilly. his plan was working!! all he had 2 do was the final touches! i mean besides touching xenos dick or whatever we're not yet. sorry u have to suffer for ten more paragraphs for sweat boy on boy. elc then turned around an produced a kitty keyboard from the recesses of his coat tails. xeno made the :O face and elc sat down bc playing while standing rly fuckin g sucks

"i wrote this for u on the moon so you'll be hypnotized by my sick beats" then he pulled the mic out of the keyboard and made a sick beatbox noise. No i dont know what the fuck it sounds like just google it. klaus blushued and made another gay gasp and elc made the >:3 face

then be started to play the piano keyboard. he was playing cruel angel thesis, their theme song that they had decided at 1am while xeno was drunk af.  it was their theme song despite none of them speaking fucking japanese but they just felt it in their SOULS. it was rly gay. elc was going so fucking hARD that his hard on was getting 40 hard ons. and thats four tens the hard ons. and its rad.

except the ebst part was it was all in meows so it spoke 2 klaus' furry soul.

klaus nyaed softly in surprise and suddenly all his memories of being xneo were restored!!! he gave into the desire that he craved in his soul and opened his big man arms bc for some reaon everyone thinks dudes are thirsty af. dont ask me why

"elc1!1 pls take me!! but be gentle my ass hasnt been ravaged in 1000 years (sick reference to hilda and altos magical wedding night by sorunort like, comment, subscribe for more sick referneces like this one)" xeno mewled like afucking furry and elc nodded once. xeno walked up to elc an touched his man boob sensually even tho xeno is like 60 feet taller than elc just imagine it ok

elc now has sunglasses just bc i think its a funny image

"xeno...... lets do it" elc said softly

"o h elc senpai......." xeno meowed

"and i'll keep my sunglasses on bc i hate the sun #moonlifeforever" and xeno gayzed into his emotion shields sensuallyier. then elc kissed him passionately and their tongues battled for dominance but we all know klaus is a fucking bottom bitch as stated in hilda and altos magical wedding night by sorunort paragraph 17 and 18 bc it was a dialogue.

then elc ripped off his clothes bc hes fucking JACKED and jACKED OFF and xeno gay gasped forlike the third time in this fic. elc was fuckign shredded. legends told of his abs but this time it was real. almost like the fact that shaved ice flavors dont actually exists the syrup is just food coloring.  his dong dangled in the breeze and xeno was turned tf on so he took off his clothes too bc hes not a god damn animal god whats wrong with u elc.

except elc didnt take off the sunglasses like he promised so those were still on dont worry readers i got you covered.

"get on ur knees dude and give me a wet willy but like on my dick" elc demanded

"wtf no"

"dude u cant say no its a smutfic"

"ok yeah i guess i kinda do like sucking dick or somethign"

"PREPARE TO EAT YOUR LAST DICK, XENO" elc cackcled and then xeno succed his dick like no tomorrow. elc practically creamed right there bc he couldnt get his rocks off on the moon for 1000 years (hahaha no im not gonna stop makign rock jokes). also xeno has no gagreflex bc he succed dick like a thousand times. once that was over elc just punched his dick in xenos hot cross buns and xeno meowed again

"why are u still a furry after 1000 years" elc asked but continued to Ravage The Promised Ass

"do u nyat like it erucu-kun???" xeno purred and elc shook his head

"no ur still banging its ok"

NUT THEN (i wanted to write but but i typoed and decided to keep it its funnier this way) xenos ass started 2 glow with a new holy light

"WHAT tHE FUCK" elc yelled

"my ass was actually the only way we could turn u good again! the more u fuck me the gooder u are!" and elc gasped gayily! no! his plan was working against him! he could alredy feel the goodness (haha get it bc fucking is hot i guess) turning him good! he had 2 pull out but found he couldnt. xeno was just too bammin slammin bootlicious

"HOW DARE YOU TRICK, I, ELCREST THE CONDICKTOR" he roared and xeno was tuned on again bc roaring is prolly a furry thign im not a furry im sorry

"it was for ur own good elc bc i love you!" xeno dokied so hard there were shoujo sparkles and even elc got shoujo sparkles. his azure optics glew like stella glow and u could almost see constellations in them. except there were sunglasses so u couldnt actually see it but the reader can. xneo was right. he was his tru  love..... not the Mother..... his mom was lame anyway all she did was talk to rocks

"xeno.............." elc said wiwstfully before bangin xeno harder. their bangin was so intense everyone could hear it in the kngihts barraks. it was so loud that even ana in her coma woke up for like a second to be like The Gays are At It Again. soon enough the banging was sucessful. elc glew in a beautiful magical girl ligtht and he was become good again. xeno shed a single tear but licked it away

"im cured! xeno ur ass did it! plus that was hot" elc smiled and im pretty sure xeno cried bc look at that man. hes so beautiful. please take the $2 from my purse. they embraced in a gay way. it was cute and xeno did a thumbs up and ana's face appeared at 20% opacity in the bg and she was also winking

"elc i am so glad u are back and i love u" then they made out. for a rly long time too bc theyre so fucking GAY good lord how could stella glow keep this under wraps. then they decidd they had to punch eve in the rock bc she was a dickw hile elc was being emo and stuff. BUT FIRST, xeno got porked lke 80 more times b4 then bc 1000 years does a lot do u.

the end remember to like, comment, subscribe for more fics like this one, seeya