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outubro5 · 1 year ago

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strangers // enhypen (1-5)

There I was right by the Hot Dog cart. Ugh. That was so not vegan. I was waiting for my friends to show up. We’ve agreed to meet at the entrance of the amusement park. Mayara’s boyfriend, Jake got us all free tickets, his friend was going to perform there or something. Lele was not coming, she was busy with all the work she had to do, I was expecting Leticia and Sunoo to arrive first, but Leticia wasn’t answering my texts, so I did what one had to do: I waited.

I was waiting there wearing my micro mini-skirt, I was looking hot as always, when suddenly I see the most beautiful person I’ve ever laid my eyes on walk right across me and hold on, it gets better, we exchange glances. Shut up. I think he thought the same about me because the next thing I see is this man, stumbling over a random child. He apologizes, I smile. He’s a gentleman, I’m in love and I’ll never see him again. That’s life. I’ll get over it. Or not.

“What are you looking at?” Leticia appears out of nowhere, right in front of me. Wait, I can’t think straight. I look at her and I look back at the direction I just was looking at. He was gone. Come on, that was such a good beginning to a love story.

To my surprise, everyone was here already. They arrived together. Leticia, Sunoo, Klara, Mayara, Jake, Sunghoon and Heeseung, in that order. I greeted everyone and when I was about to tell Leticia and Sunoo every single detail about my short lived romantic encounter, Klara came to my side and whispered something inaudible in my ear, I just smiled and nodded.

“I’m serious,” she said.

“Yup,” I said agreeing to whatever the hell she’s saying.

“Then what should I do?”

“About what?” Hold on.

“I’ve already told you,” Leticia said towards Klara, Sunoo was standing arm in arm with Leticia, while Mayara’s boyfriend, Jake, was hugging her from the back, Heeseung was talking to him, Sunghoon was looking at Mayara, who was looking at us, trying to figure out what we were talking about. Well, that makes us two of us.

“Heeseung?” Mayara whispered to us, a little too loud.

“What?” Heeseung answered her. Damn, we did look guilty, still Mayara just laughed, but then Sunghoon laughed at her and we’ve all noticed. She is the guilty one, your honor. I’m innocent.

I love some juicy ass gossip. Us, the girls and Sunoo, we have been friends for the longest time and Sunoo has another group of friends: Jake, Sunghoon and Heeseung. Sunoo introduced us to them last year and Mayara and Jake started to date right away, the thing is she’s been cheating on him with Sunghoon for last half year. And everybody knows. Everybody knows. That he fucks you. Except for Jake, or he pretends not to.

Before Mayara and Jake dated, Leticia noticed how Mayara acted when Sunghoon was around, she started it all as a joke, in spite of that, the joke turned out to be real. I added, saying that she clearly has no chemistry with Jake. Klara wasn’t that fond of him too, we all agreed on that, even Sunoo said that she should be with Sunghoon, but Mayara is crazy about Jake, not crazy enough to stay faithful though. I stay quiet because listen, my best friend deserves to have two boyfriends.

“It’s a beautiful day,” Sunoo changing the mood. exclaimed excitedly.

“It is,” Leticia answered, holding his arm, “we have so much to do.”

“We do.”

“Speaking of which, what time is your friend gonna perform?” Mayara asked her boyfriend, who looked at her, “What time is he gonna perform, babe?”

“What time is it?” He didn’t let go of her and was expecting us to answer. See. That’s why Klara dislikes him.

“It’s almost twelve o’clock.” Heeseung answered. See. That’s why Klara likes him.

Now. Klara will state things such as: “I’ve never felt this way before” about Heeseung, but when we tell her that they should make things more, let’s say, official, she runs away. Maybe it’s really because she never felt this way before or maybe she will just act like that in each and every case scenario. I don’t get it. If a beautiful man appeared to me, I would take my chances, which brings me back to the one I ran into earlier.

“Leti-”

“The concert starts at twelve o’clock,” Jake cut me. God, I beg you, let me tell Leticia about my rendezvous, “we should get going. Let’s go.”

We all gathered and passed through the ticket gate using the free tickets, oh Jake, thank you. Jake is my friend. I like Jake, just not with Mayara.

We were inside already and I got really excited for the festival. There were so many people and as Leticia remarked, so much to do, I didn’t know where to start. And most importantly, will there be dinosaurs?

“There is the stage,” Sunoo pointed out, reminding me where we were gonna start, together. We walked towards the big stage.

I was waiting there wearing my micro mini-skirt, I was looking hot as always, this time with everybody I had to meet earlier. Me, Leticia, Sunoo, Klara, Mayara, Jake, Sunghoon and Heeseung, in that order. We were standing in the crowd, close to the stage, I was looking around, perhaps I could find the man, hope is the last to die right?

It was. The flame of hope ignited when I saw that the man from earlier was not in the crowd, but he was at the stage, about to play his guitar.

“Leticia. That’s the man.”

“What man?” I just remembered that I wasn’t able to tell her, “are you referring to that one scene in Camp Rock?”

“No, but that’s a good reference. I mean, that’s the man I saw earlier,” Leticia listened, “I had a short lived romantic encounter with him.”

“Which one?” Sunoo turned his head.

“The one holding the guitar,” I couldn’t stop looking at him and I’m almost certain he was looking back at me, I was about to give my best impression of Debby Ryan.

“Oh, but that’s just Jay.”

“Jay?”

And the ignited flame of hope turned into a wildfire. The music started. Oh. It can’t be. He was playing “R U Mine?” by the Arctic Monkeys. That’s like one of my favorite songs. That’s a match made in heaven. I wonder what songs he can play. To me.

They were enjoying the performance, while I was having my moment.

“Why won’t Jay stop looking?” I couldn’t either, for all that Sunoo seemed curious, so was Leticia, “Maria, what did you do?”

“Nothing…”

“yet.”

“Of course, why did I not think about that before? It’s perfect.”

“What?” I pretended not to know what he was about to say. Go ahead Sunoo, please tell me that Jay is perfect for me. I’m on my knees.

“You should totally meet Jay, Maria.”

“Really? Why?” I’m on my knees.

“You will know when he comes over here once this song is over.”

And the song was over. I was really about to meet him. The man from earlier.

“And that was Jay, y’all,” Heeseung so proudly told us about their friend.

“Not real rock,” Klara came right back at him.

“Isn’t he good?” Jake asked Mayara.

“Maria actually likes that song a lot, I think it’s like one of her favorite songs,” she proclaimed, I reacted the same as that one Olivia Wilde gif, “Jay will like her, why did I not think about that before? It’s obvious.”

I was about to pee myself, Leticia was the only one who noticed.

“Here he is,” Sunghoon received him and Jay entered our little circle, “Our rockstar.”

Heeseung and Jake tapped his shoulders just like parents do. Now I could tell, he was most definitely looking at me.

“That’s one of my friend’s favorite songs, Jay,” Mayara pointed at me, me? Yes, “Maria.”

“Maria?” I’m very normal about him. He greeted me and I dream about swallowing his entire head. Jay.

“Yes.”

“I’m pleased to meet you,” he kissed my hand. Oh no, I need his blood running in my veins. Jay.

“Are we interrupting something?” Sunoo mumbled to Leticia. I heard, Jay heard too, he smiled.

“My song is over, let’s get out of here.”

“Let’s go,” Jake followed his words.

We left the crowd and stood there: Jay, Me, Leticia, Sunoo, Klara, Mayara, Jake, Sunghoon and Heeseung, in that order. Still, no dinosaurs. But, Jay. Jay.

“Babe, I’m hungry,” Mayara pouted.

“Me too,” Sunghoon replied. Again, we’ve all noticed.

“Me too,” Klara did some fast damage control.

“Me too,” Heeseung joined. Predictable.

“Then we all should go eat then,” Sunoo pulled Leticia, leaving me and Jay behind and as I was about to take my left heel from the floor, but Leticia looked back.

“Not you two.”

Yes. Perfect. They left us. I will have him all to myself and I will devour him alive.

“I saw you earlier, right?”

“Yes,” I was looking at him doing the triangle method. He was going to be mine.

“I’m so glad I’ve got to meet you again.”

“So am I,” Jay.

“Did you enjoy the performance? I don’t know, I was kinda nervous.”

“Oh, no, I loved it. I love the Arctic Monkeys, I even have a shirt.”

“Perhaps can I borrow it?”

“If you play me some of their music, you can. Sure.”

“Deal.”

“Do you mean right now? Or?”

I won. He wants to meet me again. Jay.

“Whenever.”

“You know... I couldn’t take my eyes off you, ever since the moment I saw you.”

“Oh, I know.”

“That poor child,” I giggled. Jay.

“Fuck them kids!” Jay didn’t understand, “I’m kidding, I love kids,” he still didn’t understand.”

“I’m glad too that our friends left us alone, but I’m hungry, can I take you somewhere?”

“Oh, yes, I love croissants.”

“Croissants?”

“Yes. I know they are french and all, but I asked Mayara, she is french you know,” he nodded not so sure of himself, “but she assured me it’s not cultural appropriation, so it’s fine,” he thought I was funny.

“You’re funny.”

“Oh, I know.”

“You deserve a croissant,” I do, Jay, “Just wait a minute, I will go backstage, I need my guitar.”

“Sure.”

I was waiting there wearing my micro mini-skirt, I was looking hot as always, when Jay came back and took me by the hand to the amusement park’s cafeteria and ordered our croissants. I was dreaming. We sat down there and ate. Jay.

“Did you know that there are only eight ingredients in a french croissant recipe?”

“Really?” That could be a lie. I would lie. I always lie. I haven’t lied today though. Jay has altered the chemistry of my brain. However, I’m not arguing with a man with brown eyes, whatever you say gorgeous.

“Yes, I really like to cook.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Do you want me to cook for you?”

“Now you owe me two things.”

“One. I’m solving the other right now,” he finished his last bite and started to open his gig bag. Jay?

“So are you playing for me right now?”

“Just choose the song.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“Any song.”

There weren’t many people at the cafeteria, most just ordered and left, but still. For me? Jay?

“But Jay-”

“Maria. Pick any song.”

“Then play “505” by the Arctic Monkeys. Please.”

“I was just thinking about that one,” No way you were, Jay.

And he started to play. I was hypnotized, I was in a trance. I was mouthing every word, I couldn’t have imagined this in my wildest dreams or worst nightmares. Jay. Yes. I’m very normal about him. Why didn’t they think about us before? It was perfect. Indeed.

“Stop and wait a sec and when you look at me like that, my darling, what did you expect?”

I wanted to sing “Strangers” by Ethel Cain to him: “I just wanted to be yours, can I be yours? Can I be yours? Just tell me I’m yours.” Warmly reciprocated the same.

I had high expectations for the bridge. And, he didn’t let me down.

“But I crumble completely when you cry,” I sang along with him, “It seems like once again you’ve had to greet me with goodbye, I’m always just about to go and spoil the surprise, take my hands off of your eyes too soon.”

“Strangers” continued in my head: “Am I making you feel sick? Am I making you feel, am I make you feel sick?”

“Now you owe me that shirt.”

“And you still owe me a homemade meal.”

“I want to know you, Maria. I want to know everything about you.”

“I will see about that after the homemade meal,” who I was lying to? Oh my god, my first lie of the day. Jay, you have been beaten. I’m immune to your charms. Two lies. I’m me again. Jay. No. Yes. Jay.

“Do you have more requests? I’m all yours?”

Was he about to play me “Baby I’m Yours” by the Arctic Monkeys? I was thinking, I was thinking hard. Should I ask something by Hozier? No, it’s too soon. He probably doesn’t know how to play “peace” by Taylor Swift.

“Hey,” he greeted someone behind me.

“Now, We are really interrupting, aren’t we?” Sunoo sat by my side. Yes, you are.

“We waited for him to finish the song, at least,” Leticia sat by my other side.

“You both saw that?” Jay asked.

“Yes. She loved it, Jay,” Leticia winked at him, “now can we steal her for a minute?”

“A whole minute?”

“Yes,” they answered at the same time.

“Don’t make it two,” he smiled. I was down bad. Jay.

“Thanks,” we stood up, they both took me to the corner of the cafeteria, what were they up to? Is this giving Totally Spies! because I can totally see it, I’m Clover, Leticia is Sam and Sunoo is Alex. This was something that would happen to Clover.

“I like him,” Leticia said to Sunoo.

“He is-”

“What do you need me for? If you want to give me more details from a third person perspective of his perfect rendition of Alex Turner then I’m all ears, if it’s not, I’m going back to “505”, if you understand me,” he was there waiting for me, he was so beautiful, the most beautiful person I’ve ever laid my eyes on. Jay.

They kept looking at me. I was joking, friends come first, but Jay. Jay.

“What?” You see, I was in a hurry, “Is there a problem?”

They now looked at each other. So there was a problem.

“What is it? Tell me,” surprised, Leticiacovered her mouth with her hand. This had to be flabbergasting, “What is going on?”

“It’s Klara.”

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homoose · 4 years ago

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okay so i saw your recent post about wanting morcia requests and this is more of like a suggestion??? i guess i don’t know but it just came into my head and i think you could write it so well omg idk if its already been done BUT

morcia in that episode where morgan is driving the ambulance and its about to explode right well he’s asking garcia to keep talking to him right?? and she just like blurts out in her rambling that she loves him like for real for real

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 the dialogue of the beginning is taken straight from the episode, which is 4x01 Mayhem.

———

Penelope worked quickly with Officer Bartelby to triangulate the signal and shut down the cell towers. Then, she called Derek through her earpiece. “Morgan?”

It felt like an eternity before he replied, “Yeah, baby.”

His breathing was labored, his voice slightly threadier than usual. She kept her tone as even as she could, though her nerves began to build. “You sound stressed.”

“Do I?”

She would have said something snarky, bantered a little, but there was a knot growing in the pit of her stomach. “Where are you?”

He took another heavy breath. “Not where I wanna be right now.” There was a pause. “Garcia, take this down for me: FDNY 108.”

“That’s an ambulance,” she said cautiously, and the nerves became amplified. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he replied, and she didn’t believe him for a second. “Just track it for me.” And then he let out a stressed, frustrated sigh.

Penelope didn’t say anything, just worked with frantic fingers to get the information he asked for.

Thirty seconds later he was back over the comm. “Oh my god,” he muttered, not meant for her to hear. Then, “Garcia, how long can you keep jamming the cell phone lines?”

Nothing good ever followed an inquiry about a time limit. “Uh— a few minutes. Max. Why?”

“‘Cause I’m gonna have to get this ambulance out of here.”

Her heart went cold. “Or you could just evacuate the building like everybody else,” she corrected, a little desperately.

“No,” he answered. “As soon as the airways are clear this thing’s going up.”

The determination in his voice was enough to have her scrambling. “Going— oh, my god, that’s in, like, three minutes because that’s when the satellite moves position.”

He didn’t respond, and she could hear the slamming of the ambulance door, an incessant beeping sound, and Derek fumbling around, muttering out a, “Come on.”

She could feel the tears starting to well up, watched helplessly as the blocked cell towers blinked on her computer screen. This could not be happening. She was not going to lose Derek Morgan like this.

“Garcia, listen to me.” His voice broke her out of her spiral. “I need you to find an area of town I can drive this thing, and you tell everybody— you hear me, everybody— that I’m comin’.”

She nodded even though she knew he couldn’t see her, fingers slamming over the keys to find the closest open area she could. She heard Derek begging the ambulance, “Come on, baby. Do it. Go.”

And she knew it wasn’t her he was talking to, but it gave her the boost, the motivation she needed to figure this out. To save his ass, like she always did.

“All right, talk to me, Garcia.”

His voice was frantic, and she worked to keep hers level, even though she felt like screaming. “Okay, head north... and floor it. I’ll tell you where to turn.”

She heard Derek’s breathing, the squealing of the ambulance tires, and then what sounded like fireworks. “What was that?” she demanded.

“It was nothing, it was noth— just talk to me.”

She murmured quiet directions to him, tried her best to soothe him, keep him calm and focused. Turn left here, use this side street, keep going north. Derek’s frantic breathing dominated her ears more than the blaring of the siren. He didn’t speak at all, just listened and navigated and drove a ticking time bomb through the streets of New York.

“How am I doing, Garcia?”

“How’s he doing?” she asked Bartelby.

“One minute, fifty seconds,” came the response.

Less than two minutes left with this man who had spent the last five years teasing her, supporting her, building her up, cherishing her— just as she was, and she couldn’t keep it together any longer. “Why does it always have to be you? Why do you always have to do this?”

He didn’t respond to her, and now the panic was turning to anger. “Derek, you don’t have much time. Please be smart about this. Signal’s coming back online.”

“30 seconds to full coverage,” Bartelby warned.

“Derek, drive to the opening and then get the hell out,” Penelope demanded.

“There’s something I really want you to know, Garcia,” he murmured.

“20 seconds.”

“Save it,” she begged, because there was no reason to be doing final confessions. He was going to be fine. “Just get out.”

“No, no, no, I’m not quite there yet.”

The tears bled through in her voice as they rolled down her cheek. “Morgan... please.”

Bartelby’s countdown rang in her ears, and then Derek tried again. “Just listen to me.”

“No, you listen to me, Derek Morgan,” she shot back. “Because you’re not gonna die in that stupid ambulance, but since you’re acting like you will, I’m gonna yell my love at you, and you’re gonna listen.”

She stared at the countdown of the cell towers. “You’re strong and kind and patient and supportive. You’re chivalrous without being chauvinistic, and you’re protective without being patronizing. You’re a hero and the best man that I know. You’re— you are my absolute favorite person.”

She was crying now, tears running hot down her cheeks and burning tracks that she was sure she’d still feel long after the saline dried up. But he needed to know, and she was angry with him for putting himself in this position, and she was angry with herself for being such a coward for so long.

“You can’t die, because I don’t know how I’m supposed to live without you, Derek. I— I love you. I know we’ve said it before, and I meant it then, in that way. But I’m— I’m in love with you. I don’t know when it happened, but it’s— it feels as natural as breathing. Like a fish loves water, like dry ground loves rain, all those pretty, flowery similes they write on planners and coffee mugs.”

Bartelby informed her they had ten seconds, and she rushed out the rest, all the things she’d been holding inside because she wanted to keep Derek in any way she could have him. “But I also love you when it’s hard, when we’re not in very good moods, when we’re struggling with demons that we thought we’d conquered. And I— I’ve never loved anybody like that.” She let out a shaky breath, shook her head and felt a sob building in her chest. “I need you to get the hell out of that stupid ambulance, because I can’t do this without you.”

“We just lost tracking,” Bartelby murmured.

The breath caught in Penelope’s throat, and she closed her eyes. “Morgan?”

The explosion rattled through the earpiece, Bartelby dropped her elbows to the desk in defeat, and Penelope couldn’t breathe. “Derek?”

For a long moment, there was nothing, and she was sure that she’d lost him. The man she should have been able to fix up houses with and play scrabble with and bake vegan treats with and raise children with and grow old with— was gone. And then...

“You know what you are Garcia?”

Penelope’s heart jump started and relief rolled through her like a tsunami, and then she rolled her eyes with absolute and pure (loving) disgust.

“I’ll tell you what you are to me,” Derek panted. “You’re my god-given solace.”

Penelope closed her eyes, brought a shaky hand up to wipe the tears from her cheeks. From the corner of her eye, she saw Bartelby lean back with a small smile.

Derek continued, “Woman, you promise me one thing— whatever happens, don’t you ever stop talking to me.”

Penelope huffed. “I can’t right now because I’m mad at you.”

“I can wait.” He sighed into her ear piece, and it was the most beautiful symphony she’d ever heard. “And Penelope?”

She sniffed in response, and he laughed a little at her pettiness. “Ditto, baby girl.”

#morcia #penelope garcia x derek morgan #morcia fanfiction #morcia fanfic #morcia imagine #homoose 1k 💎#homoose writes

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rjzimmerman · 3 years ago

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Excerpt from this story from Vox:

40 percent of Americans feel helpless about climate change, and 29 percent feel hopeless, according to a December 2020 survey. It’s also no surprise that these emotions are coming up during a devastating pandemic — yet another global disaster over which individual humans have seemingly little control.

To help stop climate change, we’ve sometimes been told to change our personal habits: recycle, reuse, take shorter showers, etc. But these individual choices are dwarfed by the actions of corporations and countries. Just 100 companies are responsible for 70 percent of the world’s carbon emissions since 1988, according to one study, and sweeping changes aren’t possible without government intervention. Not to mention the fact that poverty and other factors constrain the choices many people can make in the first place.

Given all this, it’s no surprise that “all of a sudden, everybody’s going into nihilism,” as Heglar puts it.

But experts say we’re not completely powerless, and there’s a way to live in an age of climate change without giving up or sticking your head in the sand. It’s not necessarily about going vegan or making your home zero-waste, either.

The idea of reducing your personal carbon footprint, while not inherently wrong, has often been used as a distraction, “pitting working people against each other with morality choices about how sustainable you are,” rather than “realizing how much you actually have in common,” Mejia said.

Instead, many say the key to fighting despair is to think beyond the individual and seek community support and solutions — especially those that put pressure on governments and companies to make the large-scale changes that are necessary to truly curtail emissions. As Heglar put it, “the most detrimental thing to climate action is this feeling that we’re all in it alone.”

Oil companies like ExxonMobil have used sophisticated PR campaigns to make climate change seem like an issue of personal responsibility, and deflect blame away from their own actions, as Rebecca Leber reported for Vox. “A lot of the individualist solutions that have propagated across society and across our discourse, such as the carbon footprint and the idea of self-sacrifice in order to save the planet, really have the fingerprints of a few oil companies,” Mejia said.

In truth, the biggest contributors to carbon emissions in the United States, transportation, electricity, and industry, are only partly under individuals’ control. People can choose to use less energy in their homes, but household electricity use only accounts for about 10 percent of CO2 emissions in the US — even getting rid of it entirely wouldn’t be enough to stop climate change. And while some people can choose to drive an electric car or go car-free, they can’t individually shut down coal plants or redesign America’s public transit systems to make that an option for everyone.

#climate crisis #climate change #climate despair

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gamer-logic · 3 years ago

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The States and 2P America

So the 2ps get to the 1p world after making a truce with their counterparts and escaping their collapsing world where they're the only survivors. They then proceed to live with their 1ps in a crazy roommate sort-of situation. The only problem is that when Allen gets to Alfred's house it's this huge mansion and one of the states opens the door making him very confused as he never had states of his own and his idiotic 1p is the father of 50 kids!

"What the *beep* Porkchop?! Since do you have fifty little brats runnin’ around?!"

Alfred gives him a full rundown on finding/raising the states and then proceeds to draft him into babysitting! At first, Allen tried to ignore them but then faces the painful realization that leaving 50 states alone is never a good idea. After finally rounding up everyone he could find and freeing the thirteen (most responsible being Delaware and Virginia) from being trapped in the barn by their younger siblings, he does a headcount.

Allen: Okay one, two, three.....45. We're missing five! Where's Nevada, Hawaii, Alaska, Texas, and New Mexico?

Random state raises their hand: I think Nevada's in Vegas gambling again. He goes there a lot to triple his allowance!

Another state: I remember Texas said something about rodeos and bull riding all the way to Dallas. Also, Alaska and Hawaii left a note saying something about hanging out with New Mexico and Tony in Roswell!

Allen: But we're in D.C.! How did they get all the way over there in 3 hours?! *States shrug while Allen looks close to screaming into the void* Okay, everyone into the bus! We're going to get your siblings!

Cue cross country road-trip like the hangover where, after hours of getting lost in Disney Land, Delaware’s nagging about being the oldest and most mature much to Massachusetts chagrin because he’s clearly got better colleges, getting into a dance contest in Maine, keeping Arizona from getting stuck in the Grand Canyon for the hundredth time, Wisconsin participating in a cheese eating contest, Maine cooking seafood, Georgia making 30 peach cobblers, Colorado making a giant igloo, Washington and Oregon's hippie phases making a return, playing hockey in Minnesota, fishing Michigan out of the great lakes, New Jersey getting stalked by the Jersey Devil who’s like that stray cat that keeps following you around, keeping New York from starting a fight at Yankee’s game, gator wrestling in the Florida everglades, getting dressed for Mardi Gras in Lousianna, getting lost in Iowa’s biggest corn maze, the Dakota twins almost killing the Carolinas for trying to graffiti Mt. Rushmore (there’s a bit of a twin rivalry), avoiding the secret service less they get caught and ratted out to Alfred, seeing Old Faithful at Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming and trying to keep Alabama from sticking his head in it on a dare, crossing the Mississippi, running from rodeo clowns that Tennessee angered after he picked a fight with them for insulting his country music, finally picking up Texas with his new Rodeo bull-riding championship belt and tying him up with his own lasso, various misadventures, including recuing Idaho from an accidental marriage, in Vegas that will stay in Vegas, finding/grounding Nevada from gambling after he almost lost 50 grand and Wyoming to a circus, they finally arrive in Roswell.

Allen, too tired to care at this point: Alright! Who's this Tony New Mexico, Hawaii, and Alaska said they we're with?

Maryland: He's Dad's cool alien friend from 1947. New Mexico likes hanging out with him in his spaceship playing pranks on Britain and the other nations!

Allen hardly believes her but is too tired to care at this point: A-Alien? Sure, why not?! Let’s just go get them! Maybe we’ll run into Nessie too!

Iowa whispering to Ohio: But isn’t Nessie in Scotland?

Ohio: *shrugs*

After falling into a series of booby traps a la Alaska, they finally track down Tony’s ship in Alaska and find the three playing video games with Tony. It finally registers in Allen’s mind that there’s a real freakin’ alien in front of him playing Mario Kart.

Allen: T-t-that’s an….

State: Yep!

Allen: And he’s playing video games….

States: Yep!

Allen, not able to handle this anymore: *faints*

After a not so long drive back to D.C. courtesy of New Jersey’s driving, Getting KFC in Kentucky for supper with vegan salad for Allen and irritating said state in the process, and almost forgetting Rhode Island, they finally make it bake to D.C. and settle Allen down on the couch, gathering around him to watch a Marvel marathon acting like the innocent little angels they’re not. They also duct tape California’s mouth shut and tie her up with Texas’ lasso because she wouldn’t stop complaining about watching her newest one instead. Alfred finally arrives home from a meeting in Berlin around the time they finish Doctor Strange and sees Allen crashed on the couch with the states around him.

Alfred: So did you have a good time with Uncle Allen?

States: We sure did!

Wisconsin bragging about his trophy made entirely of cheese: I’m the king of cheese once again!

Alfred: Great! Now it’s off to bed everyone!

States: Aww! But we wanted to stay up and play with Uncle Allen!

Alfred: No buts, you can play again tomorrow! Now off to bed!

The states start trudging up to their rooms with California finally being freed. Georgia putting a blanket over Allen, Hawaii putting a hibiscus print pillow under his head, and Maryland putting a note on the end table as they go out. Allen finally wakes up and Alfred, watching the rest of the marathon notices.

Alfred: You were awesome with them dude! I’m going to let you babysit from now on!

Allen: *Screams and faints again*

Alfred: Heh! He’s so excited! *Munches on popcorn*

The next morning Allen wakes up and reads the note: “Thanks for taking care of all of us today! We had a lot of fun, Uncle Allen! From the states. P.S. You were super cool playing baseball at Yankee stadium! Teach us sometime? Also, there's a salad for you in the fridge! :)"

He crumbles the note and puts it in his jacket trying not to break his tough-guy persona. But later when no one looking, he takes it out with a small smile and thinks these brats aren’t so bad after all.

Eventually, they grew on him and Allen comes to consider the all the states like his own secretly loving it when they call him Uncle Allen. They may be little gremlins but his gremlins and if you so much as touch one hair on their head you’ll get a face full of his nailed bat!

Just another day in the Jones’ household!

Meanwhile In Canada:

James is babysitting the provinces for Mathew and is currently in drill sergeant mode pacing in front of the nervous, with the exception of Quebec who's extremely excited, lined-up provinces. Kumajiro (cub) and Kuma (adult) are just chilling and watching them with whistles around their necks and cute little maple leaf hats courtesy of British Columbia.

James: All right, listen up! I’m going to teach you all how to rough it and survive out in the wilderness! Now, who knows how to start a fire?

All the provinces turn to stare at Manitoba.

Manitoba: Oh, come on! I set fire to Papa’s flannel shirt collection one time!

James: Okaaaaay ignoring that, everybody get into groups of two and I’ll assign jobs!

Nova Scotia raises her hand: But there’s thirteen of us!

James: Fine then, eenie meenie miny mo… *Points to Prince Edward Island* you! Prissy pants boy you're with me! We’re gathering firewood!

P.E.I. looking up from his mirror: Excuse me!? I’m not gonna get these designer clothes dirty picking up filthy wood!

James *facepalms*: Give me that! *Proceeds to chuck the mirror into the lake much to P.E.I’s horror and Ontario’s glee!*

(They don't get along because of P.E.I.’s arrogant personality and constant declaring himself in charge despite Ontario being the oldest and having the capital).

James: We’re out here to survive off the land which means no cell phones, no internet, and definitely NO BEAUTY PRODUCTS. NOW IS THAT CLEAR?!

Provinces: Sir, yes sir!

James being the big softie that he is but won't admit: Good! Now we meet back here by sunset and we’ll roast marshmallows!

Everyone hurries and gets on with their jobs with Alberta somehow ending up stuck in a tree and harassed by woodpeckers and Yukon and Saskatchewan being the most successful by communicating with/befriending a family of beavers that help them build a shelter. By the end of the day, James also feels a sense of fatherly protectiveness and pride over the provinces like Allen. he also secretly loves it when they call him Uncle James. Nunavut also manages to find bigfoot who helps gather food much to James’ shock!

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darkobssessions · 4 years ago

Text

Coping Tips for Autistic Women

I am compiling a list of resources for aspie women along with tips to manage symptoms and navigate the world. Regretably, most of my personal experience comes from living undiagnosed and unaware about this for the last 27 years. There was a giant elephant in the room with everything, and I have only recently worked it out. This means that most of my habits prior to this point were ones attempting to cope with a giant unknown, the limits of which were unclear. But they more or less worked, because, as I am realising, there’s always been something they are attempting to address.

With other diagnoses and ways I attempted to explain and understand my difficulties, there were finite causes and treatments. I should have been improving if I tried x, y, or z. And I did improve my symptoms in many ways, but there was something missing from the picture. That is that autism is my personality, my state of being, how I process and view the world. And no tool, medication, process or treatment was ever going to change who I really was. Being misdiagnosed (or being missed and failing to receive the autism diagnosis) means that I have been trying to correct something that you cant ‘correct’, and shaming myself for something fundamentally me.

Some of the tips I learned over time, from how I am as a person, without the framework of reference of neurodivergence or autism:

Sensory:

My sensitivity has always been a big waving flag. I felt and saw things others didn’t. I felt more deeply. I sensed the microeffects and changes in everything. I responded harder and faster to any chemical, environmental shift, any positive or negative event, As we all do on the spectrum, we attempt to navigate our sensory environment. And we come up with coping mechanisms, good or bad, before or after we realise we are on the spectrum. For me this was a strong aversion to the things that upset me, that disturbed my senses. It was an orienting of myself in a way to avoid the disturbances, going inwards, withdrawing and even shutting down. I learned that I could not and did not want to handle crowds, loud places, supermarkets. I lived in a giant simulation attempting to minimise and avoid as much as possible the things that hurt. I learned that I was extremely sensitive, no one else seemed to be, and I just had to manage it. Since discovering autism in the last weeks, I am able to embrace the fact that sensory overload is a thing, and I really do feel pain in my body when things are too much and too loud, and just wearing earplugs has mitigated so much of this. I was gas lighting myself before about feeling a certain way because there was no explanation, that I was aware of anyway.

Physical:

I have had so many problems over the years, since I was a young girl. I used to get food poisoning symptoms really easily. I had hidden allergies. I remember a lot of my childhood spent doubled up with stomach pains, or having a fever. My family didn’t know any better and fed me and treated me as they did every other member. I was not the same, I did not feel the same, but I took it all in. By the time I was in my early teen years, I had cemented my aversion to certain foods, taken the only control I had at the time against an encroaching and controlling mother and turned it into anorexia. I avoided things I didn’t like, again, and set up a system of control that made more sense than the gaping wounds and confusion within me. Starvation triggered bulimia. And a viscous cycle of malnourishment and dysregulation unfolded. I didn’t learn until many, many years later that my system was so sensitive and damaged that if I tried to go back to how I used to eat as a child, I would get terrible symptoms. So my coping tips as I have healed from the eating disorders and become more aware is to figure out what the triggers are, what hurts, and to avoid it. This along with adding in nutrient dense foods and working on the deficiencies has done wonders for me. I’ve done tremendous work on my autoimmune conditions, gut problems, sensitivities and inflammation levels and the difference is like night and day. That I can induce psychotic symptoms by deviating or introducing foods I am intolerant to is no joke. The tip I can share is elimination diets truly do work, the keto diet is recommended, and eating the carnivorous way saved my life. My eating disorders for almost 15 years INCLUDING the 7.5 years I was a vegan, mostly high raw and fruitarian depleted my nutrients so badly that every symptom was enhanced 100% and I was eating pretty much ONLY food I was actually intolerant to. Ahem, plants, I’m talking to you. The peace I feel, the nourishment and rest on a nervous system level having eliminated them is unreal.

Social:

I have always known I was different, in a deep, visceral way. How the adults in my life answered questions was inadequate. I saw through people and things. I was far too intense and serious. I learned to watch and observe humans and pick up cues so as to attempt to fit in. I spent the majority of my life masking, something I am only now finding out about and unraveling. I kept notes on the human experience, and saved colours, sounds, feelings, because I felt like I couldn’t communicate the truth of myself otherwise. Over the course of my life there have been inexplicable (until now) events. Lost friendships and relationships, strings of broken promises, people not acting on what they say, confusions and miscommunications, and many dangerous situations and predatory bonds. I made what sense I could of it from whatever lens I could find. It was the trauma, it was my soul contract, it was what I deserved, it was being targeted- all close, but not quite within the realm of being so naive, open and fundamentally different as you are on the spectrum. I just always assumed everybody was like me. I had to learn the very extremely hard way that not everyone felt and thought in the same way, nor had good intentions. I still struggle with the fact that humans don’t tell the truth. It is of no relevance whether they secretly know it. Most people are more comfortable with illusions. I always knew this, but the diagnosis gives me a lot more peace around it. It’s allowing me to accept the fact that if I look around the majority of the people I see are not walking around processing and over-analysing everything, feeling sounds, decoding patterns and obsessed with hacking the code of reality. Less pressure that way, and more in the way of what can be viewed as natural interaction on my part. I will solve the mystery of the universe out loud otherwise, and get the blank looks and the discomfort. I have found my people, a tribe of likeminded individuals, I have gathered friends over the years that didn’t run from my weirdness. But I am mostly content to be on my own, knowing that I can only use what is around me to try to convey how I feel and who I really am. And that will probably be a book, a movie or a work of art, much better than a 2pm rendezvous when I can’t stop talking about the hidden signs.

Emotional:

With the intensity of my emotions I have developed borderline personality disorder as a means to cope with being autistic and not knowing. I have been diagnosed with both that and bipolar because I have intense stints of emotions. They come and go in waves, lasting hours, lasting days and weeks. I consider it to be an energy management system to cope with the demands and stressors of modern day living. Creatives always withdraw and hibernate, and come out with new insights and art to share. The way that I feel and view the world is special. It’s at the basis of my writing, what I choose to engage with and how. My emotions make me who I am. I feel intensely, I share passionately about how I feel. I snap, I break, I shutdown, I come out again and I am a bright, shooting star. There is an excited little animal that lives within me and it is the strongest most passionate thing known to man. I thought that my negative experiences or trauma killed it, but this is before I knew it IS me and cannot die. So I have stopped trying to cram these emotions in or explain them. Stopped trying to attribute them to whatever script people were following when they dealt with me. Throwing me into the depressive, anxious, panic stricken, eating disordered basket case category. The missing piece now makes so much sense. The ways I responded to being autistic were coping mechanisms, such as developing a personality disorder, to deal with the pressure. My psyche splintered under the weight. My tip here is in embracing your inner life and world, embracing that you are different, so that all of the mental and emotional acrobatics needed to attempt to explain the issues or fit in can be put to rest.

Spiritual:

Being different and feeling differently means I naturally saw and expressed things in quite a strange way. I was convinced of a secret world to reality, behind reality, living on behind a paper shell, so to speak, that would rip if only I could reach out and tear it aside. That conviction was rewarded as year after year my awareness grew, my gifts multiplied, and the experiences I had revealed to me the hidden hand of god. There was very much design to the universe, a pattern, weaving through all things. And i was a part of it, not some discarded afterthought or simple byproduct that had no place. In the early years, I kept my convictions to myself, nursed them with experience. I died a thousand deaths in dark nights of the soul, crashing against the turf of my ignorance. I broke open, and everything I had been so sure of as a child was revealed to me again and again. I was convinced I had a purpose, I could feel the deep tides of human emotion and motion, could feel into the genetic sequence that had birthed me. I felt like an alien, but that slowly over time the map of my operation was being revealed to me. This is what it feels like so many years later to stand here and find out about being autistic and realise that how I felt in my soul all these years was real, and that I can begin to truly fulfill this mission now, to share my experience in words I know others will understand because they feel the same way too. It was the challenges that I never understood, while the gifts were the reason to stay alive. My message to myself and others now is that there is a point, a reason to persevere and understand yourself more. The suffering reveals so much of the true state of things, so that we can protect our tender hearts and build new things that honour who we really are, our souls.

Resources, movies, literature to follow. I just wanted to share something of a summary now of my realisations since coming home to myself.

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twstwonderlandstuff · 4 years ago

Text

Sleep depravity

You feel like shit.

Flashback

Ahaha, the new year! A time for fun and festivities! Surely, that’s what YOU’RE going to be doing, right?

Wrong.

Well, I mean right, but it’s not fun by what most of NRC calls as. So imagine this, right, you’re sitting in yo damn class doing your damn shit when suddenly, your classmate whispers to you from behind.

“Hey.” You nudge an elbow, to show that you’re listening.

“You should watch ‘Tales of the Seven Lords’. It’s a really good series.” You nod in thanks at the recommendation and your classmate retreats back to his seat.

And the day goes on as usual: Running around campus doing your part-time jobs, occasionally talking to your friends and seniors, feeding Grim, appreciating how fine everybody looks today- pardon me.

So now, it’s bedtime and you’re there listening to Grim talk as you do your homework. Then, he says: “Oh yeah, someone said something about a recommendation, right?”

“Right, I forgot about that.” You nod, finishing your homework in time. “We should check that out to watch for New Years. It’s in a few days.” You sigh, bouncing your leg.

See, unlike from where you’re from, NRC has a different curriculum, where the OFFICIAL tests come out somewhere in the 3rd and 9th month of the year, not the 6th and the 12th, so this is just cooldown time for you to kind of chill and relax.

“Right, holidays~~~ We don’t need to listen to Vargas anymore!” Grim hums cheerfully, and you nod. He’s already loud and super annoying every time he meets a slightly muscular kid, but add THAT with him rambling about safety protocols? Nah, man, ya can’t.

"Ah yes, the holidays where everyone goes home and leaves us here to wail and stay all alone with nobody- I mean I got you but you know- nobody and probably have to clean the school.” You take a deep breath. “Lovely.”

"That annoying guy is going to do something like that...” Grim complains, rolling over to flop on your stomach. “I don’t wanna!”

“Same...” You reply lazily, fist bumping Grim’s paw. “Hahah... hah...”

Despite your complaining, you feel a little giddy. I mean, come on, you get the FUCK around the school, all day by yourselves! What’s not to love about that? And the series is sure to keep you entertained.

Flashback end.

‘That was a terrible, terrible thing to think about.’ You thought blearily, thoughts swirling around your head as Grim falls asleep on you, *heetos and dorr*tos all over your body, making you feel sticky and gross.

It’s now the actual new years, where everybody’s gone home and like you predicted, Crowley did assign you to tasks- fucking bird, so you and Grim’s ass didn’t do what he told you. Fucking hell, the school’s been functioning DAMN well without you, surely the tasks not THAT big of a deal, right?

After goofing around for a few days, you’re getting bored, so you drag your lazy self to Sam’s store (where his friends from the other side are tending it for him) and rent out a DVD- Crowley didn’t gift you a phone, unfortunately (but still fixed that old TV set??? Man’s got some weird priorities)

You bring this news to Grim, who immediately begs and whines for you to open and watch the show. So you did.

The first episode, you were intrigued, but only a little bit. The same went for the 2nd and 3rd episode. You’re about to call it a lame series when you hit... the 4th episode.

It was a wild ride of emotions and wow... that scene where Henry helps the king really brought you and Grim to tears.

You were hooked. Or in other words, you were fucked. Fucked because now, you can’t THINK of anything BUT the series, which forces you to stay at home and watch the entire god-damn thing and now its 2 days after that.

At... you blearily open your eyes and notice the cracks of light shining through the curtain. “Oh god...” At somewhere around 8 am in the morning.

“Fucking hell... I’ve gone and fucked up my sleep schedule... shit...” And for some reason, tears began running down your eyes. What the fuck? Are you THAT tired that’d you’d cry over your SLEEP SCHEDULE?

Yes. Yes, you are.

You hear a knock at the door. “Oh my fucking god.” You curse, rolling down the uneven wooden floors, wincing as you get splinters. You lethargically stand up and open the door and look up to see...

HEARTSLABYUL

Someone 5 cm taller then you- oh screw off, you’re 145 cm, its okay to be pissed, you know?

“Happy new year, prefect-” You interrupt him.

“Oh.. you’re cute!” You grin gleefully, pinching the red hair’s cheeks.

“U-unhand me at once!” The guy with red hair shouted, forcibly taking your hands away. “Or its off with your head!”

"What, you’re gonna- you’re gonna tie me up~?” You tease, punching the guy’s shoulder. “That’s kinky dude... like tone down the horny ya know...”

2 guys with red-orange hair and other with blue starts laughing loudly in the background and you laugh too.

The guy with red hair STARTS turning red- oh my fucking god, people can turn red?

“OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!” And a collar winds up around your neck.

“Eh????” You ask, lightly tugging at the collar. “What the fackin hell is this shit? Y’all really out here puttin’ collars and shit on people... in the middle of the day too... wow...” You mutter, slipping into a country accent.

Flash! You hear a snap of a camera and turn to look at another person with a feather duster on his head- why does he have a feather duster- you know what, its cute, and you like it. You reach up and begin petting it, effectively blocking the phone he’s holding.

“Eto, prefect? You’re kinda- woah!” You look at him with a glazy eyes from those 2 days of non stop watching.

"Are you a...” You ponder, biting your lip as you blink repeatedly. “Are you... a fuck boy?”

(“CATER’S A FUCK- CATER’S F-FUCK- AHAHAHAHA-” Ace wheezes in the background as Deuce starts laughing harder, neither of them caring that they have collars on their first day back.)

Fuck boy has a bewildered look on his face, but before you could see his reaction, another hand goes to tug you back. You look up and... is that... is that lettuce, you see? No no way, it... it kinda looks like broccoli, though..

“Let’s get you to bed, prefect.” The broccoli tells you firmly, but like hell are you listening to a broccoli! Fuck man, you got higher standards then that, come on!

“No! I’m not listening to a broccoli!” You duck, effectively pulling out of his grasp and ran inside to wherever room you’re in and slam it shut. “YOU’RE NEVER GETTING ME, BROCCOLI MAN!!!”

(”Bro---brocoll-” This time, it’s Deuce’s time to collectively pound weakly at the dirt, one hand holding onto Ace’s shoulder as he looses it.)

Eventually, you slump on the ground and slowly... you don’t hear the brocolli’s voice anymore.. which is good (but like, why does his voice sound so... sexy??? Like, why??? It doesn’t make any... sense...)

---

Ace and Deuce finish from their laughing stock, having to hold on to the third years to get up from their position. “We’ll go check on the prefect.” Deuce tried to say, a snort or two making its way to the sentence.

“HAH- KINKY- KINKY FUCK BOY BROCCOLI--- AHAHAHAHAHA-” Ace was still loosing it as he walked inside, a tear streaking down his face. “I love the prefect so fucking much.”

Laughter bubbles up against Deuce’s throat as he walks in. “F...Fuck...boy...”

“W-where is the prefect, anyway?” They immediately see you, slumped against the hallway, snoozing away. With their strong powers, they gently lift and place you on the sofa, amidst all the gunk and shit that’s piled up.

“Ew, what were they even doing?” Ace cringes, looking at the mess. “It smells like shit.”

“They’re watching ‘Tales of the Seven Lords’- oh.” Deuce nods, in extreme understanding. He too, has pulled all-nighters with his gang to watch this series... oh how they cried like mad.

“Oh, that show... it’s bad. I don’t like it.”

“What?!” Deuce swiftly turns around. “But its really good!”

“No, it’s not, what? You got some poor taste, Juice.”

“It’s Deuce, not Juice! And you’re the one with poor taste!”

They bicker all the way, until they’re lovingly threatened by Riddle to NOT say a word, or its way more then off with your head, got it~?

SAVANACLAW

An extremely good-looking lion man- lion man, the fuck???- who lazily looks around at your dorm. Behind him is an EVEN better looking man, this one with a very fluffy tail and BEEG ears and BEEG body and my god, wow... he also sexy- like, sexier then lion man.

“Furry?” You mutter, your eyes falling onto another boy with animal-like ears and tail, except he’s shorter then the two, but his eyes seem to have more light in them.

“Happy New Year, prefect~!” He cheers on, his small tail wagging- oh that is cute oh my fuck- oh shit-

“...what the fuck? Why the fuck are there furries?” You gasp in alarm, running your hands through your hair in a frantic manner. “HAVE I MISSED A FUCKING GENERATION OF FURRIES?!”

“NONONONO NO NO NO THERE’S NO FUCKING WAY- NO-” You scream, falling onto the floor and grabbing a piece of your hair.

A shadow seems to loom over you, and you can feel something fluffy- or maybe that’s just you. “Prefect, are you okay- not like I’m worried, or anything, but...?” That line seems like something you’ve heard, but from where?

“Has the herbivore lost their mind?” Sexy lion man can be heard asking in the back, his voice quickly slipping into a yawn.

“Are ya worried, Leona?” The smaller guy teases, a ‘shi shi shi’ going past his lips.

“Tch.”

Well they seem like good friends- nice.

“I’m fine-” You look up and BAM WOAH WHAT IS THAT- SOMEONE’S PANTS AREA THING NOPE-

“I’M NOT FINE FUCKKKKKKK!” You scream back. The guy jumps back.

“Prefect, are you possessed?”

“By this stage? I might as well fucking be- HAH!” And you snort at that- it’s not even funny, you moron. “Oh, and also sexy lion man- yeah I’m talking to you, yeah you-” You point at said man. “I’m not a herbivore, okay? Like, I’m not a vegan (NO OFFENSE TO THE VEGANS OUT THERE), umm...” You slip into a dramatic accent where everything becomes more pronounced.

“I’m a fucking omnivore, and if you wanna like, insult me, please do it right. Thanks.” You pose, your hands making a heart shape, before slumping onto strong boy’s arms.

“Pfft- AHAHAHAH-” And Ruggie’s gone and lost his shit, because what’d you expect, right?

Leona looks surprised, before becoming very irritated, dragging Ruggie by the scruff/neck and walking away, leaving Jack to deal with you.

His seniors out of earshot and eyeshot, he glances at your sleeping form, which was nuzzling up to him, sighing in bliss as the warmth surrounds you.

He lets out a snicker despite his best efforts not too. Goodness, you surprise him every day.

He easily brings you inside with a princess carry, making sure to respectfully touch only your legs and you back to support you.

He glances at your sleeping form- what on earth were you doing that could keep you up so late, anyways? Oh, he finds out by passing through the living room, TV still on.

He finds your bedroom and lays you down there, not bothering to bring Grim inside- just kidding, he absolutely brings Grim in because he knows how much you love each other, but you didn’t hear that from me~

He glances at your form again and brushes some hair out of your face. The steady rise and fall of your chest eases him. Maybe he should stay here, just in case you wake up and act like THAT again and that’s something he’s sure a lot of people aren’t ready to witness.

He takes a chair and sits in front of you, once again having his eyes trained on you, seeing he has nowhere to look at.

A content smile passes your lips, and he smiles at that. What kind of dreams are you having, he wonders? (Little did he know its about him)

Wait.

If he’s waiting for you like this, isn’t that what you usually do for friends?! He stands up immediately, regretting his actions just as fast as he notices you squirm, sighing in relief as you settle back down onto your dazed state again.

“Happy New Year, prefect. Let’s make more memories together.” He mutters lowly, far too low for you to hear but somehow, you smile at just the right moment.

He leaves quickly, a red blush adorning his cheeks. No, that does NOT make him happy in the slightest! His tail isn’t wagging, his ears aren’t red, you’re lying!

Right?

Wrong.

Yeah, right.

Oh, god damn you and making him so confused!

OCTAVINELLE

An incredibly good-looking gent, with a smile on his face that doesn’t look as nice as it should. And look, he’s got a fedora! That speaks fancy~

“Happy New Year, pre-” You take the fedora and slap it onto your head, to the surprise and subsequent irritation of this man.

Or octopus. Honestly, they radiate the same vibe, so you wouldn’t know.

Then, you began doing the Orange Justice (cringe) as you hum- “Mhph, then you break it down! Down! Down! High! Down!”

“Is shrimpy-chan okay?” Oh what the fuck he’s so tall- THERE’S ANOTHER ONE YOU’RE SEEING THINGS-

“Oya oya.” HE HAS ARA-ARA ENERGY OH MY GOD YOU CAN’T DEAL WITH THIS- NONONONONO-

“Ara ara? Ara ara ara~ ara ARA!” You reply in kind, switching to a weird boogie as you sing offkey about a song.

“Under the sea~~~ under the sea~~ something, something, du do do do, under the sea~ under the grass, and till they fall~ ahhhh!!!” You grab the gent’s hands and drag him to you, paying very close attention to your feet as you attempt to tap dance.

The gent splutters indigation, so you leave him be and focus on your feet.

“Ne, that sounds fun!” The 1st double says, following you to dance- except he’s doing way better then you.

“Wha- how the fuck- that’s good! How the fackkkk... fuck... fucking... fucking fucking wop wop!” You giggle, trying to imitate his dance.

“Hehe, shrimpy’s funny when they’re tired!” Double 1 says, grabbing your waist as you shout in fright.

“Jade, maybe we should-”

“Let them be, Azul.”

Upon closer inspection, you realize that this ‘Jade’ has resonating vibes with Sebastian from Black Butler- wait, is this the twin cliche?! Where there’s the crazy one and the other’s the sane one?! But then again, he has that scary smile on his face... hmm, maybe that theory should be left alone.

You, still Double 1′s arms, shout: “Come on butler man! Join us!!!”

“Butler... are you referring to me?” He sounds surprised.

“Yeee! Come on dude,let’s vibeeee-” You stop mumbling and began singing again. “Oh oh, I’m a rebel just for kicks now! OWAH!!!”

“Owah~~” Double 1 joins, and Jade with a grin, joins in. “Owah~”

“...owah...” The gent also joins, albeit in a softer tone.

“What else, shrimp- eh??? They’re asleep!” Floyd pouts as he gazes at your non-moving body. “No fun.”

“Oya, maybe we should bring them back to their couch. It looks like a nice place to be.” Jade remarks, looking at the pile of chips and snacks on the floor. Floyd shruges, dropping you with a thud, but you don’t seem to wake up. Jade picks you up for Floyd and brings you to the couch.

Azul cringes at the sight of messy chips. “It’s giving me heartburn just looking at it.”

“Don’t lie, Azul. We saw you eating the same thing yesterday~” Floyd teases, a wide grin placate on his face.

“...I could’ve sworn nobody saw me! How...” Azul mumbles to himself, a red flush on his face.

“They’re asleep. We should leave them be.” Jade suggests, walking back to the group.

Azul nods. “There’s nothing I can make a deal about, anyway. And, the benevolent sea witch wouldn’t agree with that, wouldn’t she?”

"Yeah! Goodnight, shrimpy!” Still, you don’t reply, but Floyd looks happy enough since he hoists Azul up from his stand and walks out with him, princess style.

“F-floyd, put me down!”

“Nah, Jade looked really happy holding Shrimpy, so I’ll do the same to you~”

“Floyd!”

Jade walks behind them, watching as they have their fun.

Did I really look that happy? He glances back at your living room and gives a rare, sincere smile to the dimly lit room.

“Goodnight, prefect. I hope to get along with you better.” He whispers to himself, before closing the door gently behind and catching up to his brother.

SCARABIA

Sunshine??? in the form of a... homo sapient???? and a snake??? why the fuck-???

“Happy New Year, prefect! I brought you some food, a few blankets and oh!” The sunshine greets, giving you things, which you don’t have the strength to take, but nod as thanks anyways. He hands you a carpet, incredibly soft, 100% quality. “A carpet- eh, prefect?! Are you okay?!” The sunshine fusses, grabbing your cheeks in worry.

You melt, easing into the touch. “I’m okay now.” You lazily reply, giving him a slow wink. “Haha, get it? Cause- cause you’re here, and you’re the sun, and you’re cute, so like... haha? No?” You don’t let him reply as you sigh and nod, taking his hands of your cheeks. “Alright.”

The sunshine grins at your attempt. “I don’t really know what you mean, but thanks!” Oh my god he’s so cute-

“...hopefully, these things can dress up your broken- er, rustic house.” The snake replies, watching your behavior with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

You son of a bitch-

“Look, snake-man. No no no no, look at me. Watashi no eyes, you look at eyes- you see my eyes?” You stalk towards the snake, squinting at the bright sun (2 suns) as you trudge towards him. “Y-you see? Yeah, these eyes have tried their FUCKING best to fix up this dorm, so please, bro, please don’t like, mock it cuz like-- it’s really fucking hard- and you know why?!”

“Why?” The sunshine questions, just as you hope (but for some reason, the snake has backed away and is guarding the sunshine. You wonder why.)

“Lemme tell you why- lemme tell you why. So, this bird-man bitch boy I don’t fucking know, right-” The snake sort of laughs at this description as sunshine nods. “This guy, right, leaves ALL this SHIT to me- like BITCH, did you see the fucking state of this... I don’t know, um, SHACK?!” You point aggressively at the house. “Yeah man, it was SHIT! Like, there were holes, rats on the ground, and there were a insects everywhere...” Oho, snake seems to tense up at this, walking towards sunshine in a scared manner.

“The wood was rotting, it smelled like mold... the couches were moldy, the BED was moldy... it was... it was FUCKING shit mate, like the fuck?! You expect me to clean up that shit in what, like...” You bring up your fingers, not even counting. “Three fucking days? Like what the fucking hell, bitch? I’d like to- to- to know what the fuck crossed his mind, like the fuck, you know?”

“That seems hard, prefect. Do you want us to help?” The sunshine offers, but the snake interjects, saying: “Kalim (oh, so his name is Kalim, huh? Cute name for a cute guy!), how many times do I have to tell you? Don’t-”

“But it looks like they’re having a really hard time!” Kalim argues, pouting and looking at you pitifully, and you give the snake a woeful mourning face. The snake glares at you, before sighing heavily. Ah, damn, you feel kind of bad.

“Nah, it’s okay sunshine, I can handle it. Oh, by the way, have ya seen my baby?” You say nonchalantly, describing your feline friend.

“Baby?” The snake pales. “You have a baby?!”

“Prefect, why do you have a baby?” The sunshine panics too, eyes widening, forgetting the nickname you gave him.

“Yeah, I do! Wanna see-” Slump! You fall onto the ground before you can finish your sentence, leaning across the snake’s legs.

“Oh... they’re probably talking about Grim...” Jamil realizes, sighing in relief at the thought.

“Oh yeah, that’s probably it! Hehe, we think alike, Jamil!” Kalim grins, much to the chagrin of Jamil.

“Yeah, yeah, we do. Now come on-” Jamil lifts up your body, princess style and grunts. “Help me open the door.”

“Sure thing!” Kalim hums, opening the door. “What do you think they were doing, looking so tired?”

Jamil shrugs, walking inside ASAP, first giving the dorm a quick sweep with his eyes- he isn’t quite sure how to feel about the bugs you said. They pass by the living room and upon seeing the disarray, nod in understanding.

“Kalim, can you clean it while I put the prefect back in their room?” Kalim nods and gets to work, rolling up his sleeves.

Jamil smiles, nodding as he walks towards your bedroom, opening it with his foot. Surprisingly, it looks WAY cleaner then your living room- you really did stay up all night to watch whatever show was on, huh? The bed isn’t even creased.

Jamil sets you down gently, and you immediately roll to the side, sighing in comfort. He watches as the crumbs of snacks fall onto the bed, and thanks the graces that its not Kalim’s, or his bed that got the food spilled, phew.

Speaking of Kalim, how is he faring? Jamil walks back to the living room, fully expecting to see Kalim get distracted, but much to his ACTUAL surprise, the room is a quarter cleaned. The crisps are thrown in the trash bin and the blankets are folded up, albeit not neatly.

Jamil smiles, a little bit proud of Kalim. “Kalim?”

“Here. Shh, not so loud. Grim’s sleeping.” Kalim whispers back, waving from the kitchen. “I’m trying to clean the dishes, but...”

“Here, let me teach you.” And so, they two do their best to help clean the living room until it’s up to Jamil’s standard.

“I bet they’ll feel surprised when they wake up!” Kalim giggles, happy that it’s clean.

“I hope so, it’ll be a waste if we did all this and they didn’t notice.” Jamil frowns, crossing his arms, satisfied. “I’m sure they liked the gifts, Kalim?”

“Really?! I didn’t go overboard, right?!” Kalim worries, looking at Jamil in concern.

“You always do.” Was Jamil’s snide remark.

“Jamil!” Kalim pouts, and Jamil nods.

“It’s true.”

“Aww... I thought I really... aww...” Kalim shakes his head, cheering up immediately. “There’s always next time! Let’s visit Heartslabyul next, Jamil!”

“Let’s go.” And Kalim rushes out, shouting a ‘Happy New Year!’ to the dorm, despite his previous warning. Jamil says nothing, echoing his behavior as they walk out.

(And it’s true. After 14 hours or so, you wake up, walked towards the living room, and cried the SHIT out of your eyes. It really was nice to see, you know?)

DIASOMNIA

You can’t distinguish who the fuck this person is, but they’re definitely tall.

“Who the fucking hell??? Is so fucking tall?” You ask in a whisper. “Hello?”

“Don’t talk to Malleus-sama that way, human!” A guy that looks similar to a cucumber yells.

“Shut up, my guy. Oh shit, sorry I probably sound really fucking rude hah.” You snort, pinching the nose of your bridge. “Um, what can I do for you? Or something?”

“You look pale.” A softer voice comments. You turn to look at him and oh fucking HELL he looks so... soft??? Princely???

“Woah.” You breathe, grabbing his face. He quickly pushes you off, but you don’t mind. “What the fuck... Your face??? Is?? Nice???”

“Thank... you...?” He says strangely, stepping away. “Da- LIlia-sama, I think we should leave. ___ doesn’t seem to feel well.”

“Nonsense, ___’s fine. It’s probably just lack of sleep.” You let out a bark at that.

“Hah, lack of sleep. More like lack of heat!” You giggle at that- why did you giggle at that it literally makes no sense. You turn to look at this ‘Lilia’ person and holy shit, is that a d i l f ?

“...Dilf?” You mutter, stetching out your hand to touch this short emo man. “Emo???”

“What is a dlif?” Emo man’s face contorts into confusion, one that is not often seen in his face. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard of that phrase...”

“Dad’s I’d Like to Fuck, because damn bro, you look- you look like you raised hot kids and set them on a frying pan do you get me, cuz like you’re also sexy? I don’t... yeah.” You nod heavily at your sentence.

Emo man and prince-looking guy’s face contorts into a grin and a horrified look respectively. Tall man seems to have the same face as prince-looking guy, while Cucumber just... freezes.

“Are y’all okay??? You know what, I don’t- I don’t have- I’m not- I’m- I’VE GOT THE APPLE BOTTOM JEANS, BOOTS- BUTTS- BUTTS WITH THE FURRR, THE WHOLE CLUB WAS LOOKING AT HER~” You break out into a song, changing your voice to a country accent.

“SHE TOOK THE FLOOR AND GOT THE JEANS AND WENT LOW LOW LOW low low low low...” You sync in with the music, going lower to the beat until you lay your body on the ground and slowly lose sight (or blurry shapes) in front of you.

You don’t know what happens next, but you do know that someone’s riding a small cow. With big horns. And hair? With the bit of consciousness you have left, you reach up to touch the cow horns.

“Sick...” You mutter, and your hands fall slack on the small cow’s horns and you finally fall into well-deserved sleep.

EXTRA

“Lilia.”

"SEE SILVER, I TOLD YOU THAT PEOPLE WOULD-”

“I DON’T NEED TO HEAR IT, DAD!”

“NONE OF US DO!”

“Lilia.”

“I- I’M A DILF- I- I’M A DILF- HAH, I’M- OW OW OW... ow.. my back... oh, yes... Malleus?”

“I’m bringing the human inside.”

“Sure..- argh, ow ow ow... Silver, Sebek, come help me!”

“Yes, old man...”

“...”

“Pfft... a dilf... a dilf....” Malleus snickers at your naming choices, lighting up candles that you’ve strategically set. Once the lights are on, he can’t help but squint at the messiness of your dorm. He walks past the living room and opens your simple bedroom door, placing you on your bed. You don’t seem to be unbetrubed, but you squeezing something in the air. Ah, perhaps you’re looking for the cat?

Poof! Grim instantly nuzzles into you, and you both sign at the warm heat between you. Malleus smiles at the sight and leans closer to you, and whispers: “Happy New Year, child of man. Let’s make more memories together.” He gazes at your simple room, and his eyes falls at your bedside table. He smiles fondly at the picture on your bedside table. It’s you, Grim and him in Ramshackle’s living room, you making flower crown as you bitch on about physics, Grim agreeing and complaining as well.

He gives you a small pet on the head and disappears in neon butterflies.

“Shall we go?”

“Oh, young whisperer, you’re back. I take it ___ is back in their bedroom?”

A smile blooms on Malleus’ face. “Yes, now let’s go.”

“Dilf.. dilf...”

“I can’t... dilf... I can’t.. no...”

I don’t fucking know what this is

I just thought--- lilia... is a dad.... and he sexy

and memes... and i created this fic

please enjoy it

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whocalledhimannux · 4 years ago

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@peregrer the What. 👀👀👀 *insert John Mulaney gif of "say more right now"*

ok so when I say "the extent to which I've fleshed out the QT GBBO AU in my head is getting to be embarrassing," I truly and deeply mean it, please enjoy 1,900 words of utter ridiculousness.

first, our competitors:

Legarus - performs so poorly that viewers are a bit confused how he got on the show in the first place, a la Jamie (series 10) or that one guy who made a lime and chocolate cake in the first week.

Chloe - nice flavors and good ideas for decorations, but pretty sloppy. was up for elimination in the first week but came back with a great showstopper.

Melheret - good but not as good as he thinks he is (hence his bread week elimination because of sloppy technique), heavy-handed with the alcohol flavoring

Agape - solid competitor, not flashy but tasty + pretty results. I haven't worked out exact week-by-week themes (that would indeed be Too Much) but I imagine this is something like "Dairy" or "Caramel" or "Vegan," some particular element she just happens to not be strong on. viewers are disappointed by her early elimination

Teleus - Dad contestant. brings in a bunch of weird pans and gadgets he made up himself, does pretty well until it comes to Fiddly Foreign Foods he doesn't know (probably eliminated in French or Patisserie week)

Laela - typically has good flavors and pretty designs but technical knowledge is a bit lacking, so there are usually some flaws in the execution and she's often in the bottom half of technicals

Phresine - Grandma contestant. nails the classics but ultimately isn't creative enough to make it further.

Magus - the "Ian (series 6)" flavor of Dad contestant, often brings in foraged ingredients or eggs from his own chickens or whatnot and revives old recipes/flavor combinations no one else knows about. one week, some of those turn out to just be too weird, leading to his elimination.

Sophos - pretty elaborate decorations and good flavors (on the border of classic and new), but he tends to try a million different embellishments on everything and struggles with timing, occasionally to the detriment of technique.

Kamet - always has really interesting and different flavors and tends to do well in technicals especially, assuming he doesn't get overwhelmed. which is... an assumption (Finalist)

Costis - leans towards classic and indulgent flavors, although sometimes a bit sloppy--the kind of contestant where the judges look at his dishes and say "it's a bit of a mess" and then Paul Hollywood starts laughing because it still tastes delicious (Finalist)

Irene - absolutely stunning visually, queen of the technicals, occasionally gets the "style over substance" warning (Winner)

more details below the cut

I've gone back and forth on whether Eugenides should be in it but ultimately I decided no because I wanted to maintain a pre-show relationship between Laela + Kamet (I thought otherwise at first but then I realized I hadn't left Kamet any longterm friends or family for his finalist video and that's depressing af) and Irene and Sophos which to my knowledge hasn't happened once on the show so far? so having a married couple on top of that seems like it would be a stretch, and also then I think I'd need to make Eugenides the winner on principle and you know what? he can stand to be second fiddle to his wife for a little bit. My alternate backstory for him is that he was actually the winner of MasterChef one year (good with knives), so in the first episode Irene's first little chat to camera is something like "my husband's been bugging me for years to try out and I keep telling him he's got a skewed perspective on cooking competitions, finally I applied just to shut him up... and here we are." Her little video introduction is about how baking is a stress relief from her bigshot job. Her decorations tend to be abstract and gorgeous rather than cutesy.

Kamet, likewise, was nagged into applying by Laela, but she very cleverly framed it as she wanted to apply and wanted him to do it to for moral support. both were confident the other would get in and surprised that they did themselves. This is one of those series where everyone's friendships are immediate and obvious and super adorable (cast of series 10 my beloved...), and in particular these two are holding hands in episode 1. Laela's deep blue robe from TaT sticks in my head for whatever reason so I imagine her making an elaborate blue peacock cake or something one week that wins her star baker. somebody always does a peacock something and it's always impressiev.

Phresine is cool as a cucumber under pressure, always has lovely things to say about everyone else's bakes, and is the go-to last-minute helper because she usually comes in under the time. Irene starts out similar but as the weeks go by she starts to feel the pressure a bit more and cuts it a bit close. Sophos is the worst on timings, and mentions his wife at least once an episode. (I also played with him being single on the show and meeting Helen later through Irene and Eugenides, but this idea is too cute to pass up tbh.) Teleus lives with Relius, a fact that isn't mentioned until a few weeks in when he comments that Relius likes a recipe or gave him an idea for a flavor or something (Relius does not bake himself but will happily sample practice bakes), to the surprised delight of every viewer whose favorite contestant is the oldest gay in any given series (me, me, that person is me).

Costis tends to use a lot of chocolate and, as I said, pretty "classic" flavors--one of those people who makes a full English savory bake at some point. He's usually in the top half of the competition but doesn't get the top until one of the later weeks in the competition, which is a Honey themed week, and he absolutely nails it. The delicate decorations of his honey nut cakes and his use of honeycomb are particularly praised and that's the week he gets star baker. One of those bakers who flirts with elimination the first few weeks but noticeably improves over the course of the show.

My most, like, plot-y ideas are about Kamet (SHOCKER). I imagine he was born in Setra (I usually make Setra a non-autonomous region in my AUs) but arrived in Britain as a child due to [Unspecified Crisis] and ended up with foster dad Jeffa, who was roughly from the same region but not Setra itself; whenever Kamet wanted Setran food as a kid, Jeffa would take him to the library to find recipes and that was what sparked his love of baking. He's well-read on the subject and knows about foods from a lot of different cultures, so he's usually heard of the technical challenges even if he hasn't made or eaten them. He does a lot of fusion flavors, and is ALL ABOUT bread week.

I don't usually make the his-relationship-with-Nahuseresh-is-romantic leap in modern AUs but I think it works for this one because of the nature of the format--Nahuseresh doesn't actually appear on camera but is alluded to once or twice, ends up being Very Displeased that Kamet is doing something for himself, and during the week following Laela's elimination they have the fight that makes Kamet realizes this is actually a terrible relationship and he needs to leave now. He calls Laela to let her know what's up and mentions that, since he'll need to stay in a motel and has presumbly lost his job as a secretary (yeah working for your boyfriend is Bad, he's realized that now), he's going to have to drop out of the show. Laela, despite living in a studio flat without room to host him, immediately thinks "um fuck that" and calls Costis, and within an hour Costis and Aris and a few rugby buddies have moved all of Kamet's things into Costis and Aris's flat, where Costis insists that he'll squeeze into Aris's room (they've shared before, it's fine) and that Kamet gets first dibs on the kitchen for all bake off practices.

None of them actually reveal any of this to the show's producers. Kamet gets a little overwhelmed the following week and nearly walks away from the tent, but Costis jumps in to keep his bake from being ruined, and some soothing words from Irene + the hosts calm him down and he returns to finish. The only mention of the Drama comes in the finale, during the longer video clips they do on each of the contestants. Kamet is deliberately vague about the details of the situation, but Aris shows up in both Costis's and Kamet's videos and references the fact that having TWO flatmates in the bake off is a bit difficult because they only have a standard size kitchen, so he hasn't cooked for himself in a month and has been living off cake and savory breads. one of the hosts talks to Kamet in the tent after that clip is shown and he still won't talk about it in more detail, but says that he wanted to tell people so they could appreciate why Costis hasn't practiced as much the last few weeks (the judges scolded him for winging it a couple of times), and admits that he totally copied some of Costis's techniques for honey week based on watching him at home.

I imagine the finale task is something like an illusion cake--probably with a bunch of additional required elements because the show has been going bonkers with the finale showstoppers in the newer seasons--and Irene wins with a jewelry box containing, among other things, ruby earrings made out of candy. Kamet does a stepwell, and Costis does something architectural (I was thinking castle but something visibly Greek-ish so maybe a temple or a megaron? idk). Irene wins but they're all BFFs and that's obvious, so everyone's delighted for her. The little montage at the end reveals that Irene + Gen are expecting twins, that everybody hangs out all the time, and that Costis + co recently helped Kamet move into his own flat where he's now working on a novel (Immakuk and Ennikar inspired, obvi, leaning heavily on the honey-shared-on-the-road thing and including some recipes that actually work in the narration, albeit still written in an ancient-novel-like-way).

[Obviously not part of the show, but when Kamet mentions that it's time for him to look for his own place, Costis tries to v awkwardly invite him to stay forever and Kamet is like "nope I've got to try this on my own but yes we will go on a date once I've moved out and see how it goes from there."]

[This is so far beyond the scope of the show but also several of them go on to have more baking-related careers and have active social media presences and at one point they're all hanging out and Eugenides pulls out a camera and demands they all produce baking pick-up lines. Teleus refuses and also doesn't believe anyone knows baking pick-up lines off the top of their head or could make them up on the spot. Sophos sort of proves him right by coming up with "you're the apple of my pie," which Eugenides instantly mocks because Sophos's three greatest loves are baking, Helen, and poetry, and that's the best he can do? Helen comes up with "I like my cake the way I like my men--rich, sweet, and bright red," to which Sophos blushes on cue. Irene's is "when I'm with you, I feel like chocolate heated to 50 degrees--I struggle to maintain my temper." Eugenides protests this is more like an anti-pickup line. Irene insists this is the most accurate marriage-related baking pun anyone could ever come up with.

[Laela's is "You and I are like custard--I hope we never split." Kamet's is "You remind me of bread, because I knead you." Costis freezes for a minute and finally comes up with "Fancy a cream horn?" which produces a lot of giggling and makes Kamet slap his arm in such a way that, hen Eugenides posts this video to instagram, fans of the show all go WAIT ARE THEY DATING NOW] [by this point, yes they are] [I didn't even have to google baking pickup lines for this, guys, I legit came up with them on my own, please clap.]

am I obsessed? I might be obsessed

#queen's thief #attolia irene #kamet #costis ormentiedes #sophos #eugenides #teleus #eddis helen #laela #oh dear I bet her tag is virtually unsearchable #sorry laela

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tchallasbabymama · 4 years ago

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M’Baku’s Love- Chapter 2

Sorry, had to repost it. For some reason it was all blacked out on mobile? Idk, it’s weird and I’m still trying to understand tumblr.

Anywho, here’s Chapter 2 of M’Baku’s Love. Check out my masterlist HERE to read chapter 1 if you haven’t already, and take a look at my other stories as well. As always, let me know what you think or if you want to be tagged in anything. Enjoy!

Word count: 2689

M’Baku pulled up to the Outreach Center a little earlier than necessary on Tuesday. He got out the automated car and leaned against it, crossing his arms as he scanned over the building and its surroundings while reflecting on the mission at hand. If they were successful, thousands of Black children, millions if they expand, would be given a better education and connected to their old, pre-colonizer ways.

He smiled at the thought and turned to grab his things, when he noticed a small rainbow dash from the other side of the parking lot into the building. It took him a moment to process what he saw, but he realized it was Miss In a Hurry, rushing yet again. He smiled fondly and shook his head before heading towards the Outreach Center, opening the door and heading inside the cool, air conditioned building.

Once the chief settled in his office he went over the assistant files one more time, preparing for their interviews. He went over his upcoming day in his head and remembered that his meeting with the head of the Arts Department was at 11. He smiled to himself, dreamily, at the thought of her bright teal hair and her deep dark eyes, but shook himself out of it when he was interrupted by a knock at the door.

“Mr. M’Baku?” a tall, slender man who looked to be in his early twenties stood in the doorway dressed in slacks and a button-down.

“Yes, who is asking?”

“Deontae Greene, I’m here for my interview,” the young man introduced himself. They shook hands and the interview began. Truthfully, M’Baku didn’t need to interview the other candidates, he had already decided on hiring Deontae the moment his interview ended. He went through the motions of the second and third interview, focusing on the clock more than the interviewees. As soon as his third interview ended, he called Deontae to offer him the position, then went for a quick walk around the center to stretch his legs.

M’Baku found himself outside one of Shuri’s STEM courses, watching as the middle school aged children learned coding languages. She waved him in, and he tentatively stepped inside.

“Everybody, this is M’Baku. He’s the leader of the Jabari tribe in Wakanda.”

A chorus of “Hi M’Baku” erupted from the room, and he smiled before greeting them back.

“Mholo, children. What are you working on today?”

A little girl in the back with braces and pigtails was the first to answer.

“Princess Shuri is teaching us how to make computers work by telling it what to do in different computer languages.”

M’Baku looked at Shuri in confusion and she waved it off to explain later.

The large chief walked around the room to get a look at what they were doing, but quickly made it back to the front of the room when he caught a glimpse of the clock on the wall.

“I have a meeting, or I would stay longer princess.”

“Go, and don't be a stranger to this side of the center. Technology isn't all bad,” Shuri said with a wink as he left and shut the door behind him.

M’Baku’s long legs carried him back to his office in record time, where he was met with the sight of the head of the arts department sitting cross-legged in the chair outside his office, writing in a notebook.

“I’m sorry to have kept you waiting, I wandered down to the STEM wing and lost track of time,” M’Baku rambled on until she looked up at him. Today she had on gold wire-rimmed glasses instead of her red cat-eye frames from the day before, and he liked that he could see her eyes better with this pair. When their eyes met his heart thumped a little louder and his skin felt a little warmer. He watched a small smile brighten up her face as she set her notebook down before unravelling her legs to stand up.

“I wasn’t waiting long. Plus it was your turn to be running late this time,” she responded. M’Baku gestured for her to enter the office first and she obliged before perching cross-legged in the chair across from him. He rounded the desk and sat down, looking into her eyes.

“I do not believe we were properly introduced to one another,” he held out his hand to her, shaking it from across the desk. “I am M’Baku, as you already know from yesterday.”

“Monae Johnson. It’s nice to officially meet you, M’Baku. And my apologies about the other day, I accidentally took a nap and woke up with barely enough time to- I’m rambling, my bad, I do that sometimes.” She rubbed the back of her head..

“It is no problem, really,” more than anything, M’Baku found her adorable.

“So did you end up trying the place I suggested?”

“Yes, I am actually glad you ran into me. I loved The V Spot. It was an excellent recommendation, thank you.” M’Baku had to give props where they were due and this woman definitely knew food. “You must tell me, what else is good in the area?”

“There’s so much! What do you like?”

“I am new to most cuisines, but I am open. Our meeting ends around lunchtime, would you care to accompany me and show me something I might like?”

Monae’s chest tightened up at his seemingly unintended double entendre. The man before her was fine as aged wine and she was having a very difficult time concentrating on the conversation, instead wishing she could see how soft his lips are. She looked down at the ring on her left ring finger and sighed, knowing she’d regret her decision.

“I’d love to.”

______

“You’re a vegan, right?”

“Vegetarian, but vegan is fine.”

“Ever tried Indian food?”

“I cannot say that I have.”

“Come on, there’s a place around here with some really good lunch specials. I hope you like it.”

“Well your last suggestion was superb, so I trust you,” he said with a wink. Monae blushed and turned away, but not before he noticed. M’Baku fought to contain his smile and cleared his throat. “So are you from Oakland?”

“Nope, I’m from Nashville. A southern girl at heart,” she said with her best southern debutante affectation. “I came to Cali for college and just never left.”

“What made you stay?”

“Honestly? It never gets cold here, not the type of cold that seeps into your bones anyway. The worst I’ve felt here is chilly. I’m not made for anything below 50 degrees.”

“As chief of the Jabari I must say I am a little offended, Miss Johnson.”

Monae’s face twisted up, but then softened when she saw the glint in his eye. Was he flirting?

“My apologies, your highness,” she said with a curtsey. “But I’ll admire it from afar.” Her ring flashed in her line of vision, but she shook it out of her mind.

“Besides, you are wrong. Anything over 40 degrees is unfit for habitation. The weather here makes me want to crawl into my refrigerator.”

Monae shivered at the thought.

The two of them arrived at Bombay Palace and since he trusted her judgement, she ordered for the table. The waiter took their menus and quickly brought their waters with lemon slices.

“Are you a vegetarian as well?”

“Um sometimes. I don't eat red meat, but I still eat fish and poultry on occasion. I’m mostly plant-based though. I read that the Jabari are pescetarian, what made you switch over?”

“You have been reading about us, eh?”

“Well I like to know who I’m working with, and I imagine that over the next few months we’ll be seeing a lot of each other, so yes I read about the Jabari.”

“Yes, I would hope so,” M’Baku said before taking a sip of his water while watching her. He noticed her shiver under his gaze and adjust herself in the booth and he smirked, knowing he was getting to her. “And I just do not like the taste of fish very much. Earlier you mentioned having a dance background, do you still dance?”

“I’m so busy I barely have enough time nowadays outside of teaching a class at the center here and there.”

The waiter returned with their samosa appetizer and Monae danced in her seat a little, making M’Baku crack a smile at her endearing antics. They both dug in, M’Baku immediately thanking Hanuman for the food he had received. The familiar yet unfamiliar tastes swirled around in his mouth like a gold medal ice skater at the winter olympics, and he couldn’t get enough.

“Mmm, what is this?”

“Samosas.”

“I could eat this for the rest of my life and die a happy man.”

Monae giggled and almost choked on her food, “This is just the first course, wait until you taste the paneer.”

The two of them continued to talk as more food came out, not watching the time at all.

“How does your family feel about you living so far away?”

“Well my little sister is in college at NYU, living her own life, and my parents died six years ago in a car crash, so they don't feel much of anything anymore.”

He was torn between laughing at her joke and feeling a deep sadness for her loss.

“What’s your family like?”

“I am the oldest of ten-”

“Ten?!”

“Yes.”

“Your poor mama...”

M’Baku’s laughter roared through the restaurant and forced a laugh out of Monae as well. Of course his laugh was as big as he was, and her mind briefly wondered if everything about him was proportional to his size before she was pulled out of her daydream by a ringing telephone. She looked down and her face dropped when she read the name on her screen. “Shit. Uh, sorry I have to answer this- Hi honey...yeah of course...uh-huh...no, just out at lunch with a colleague-”

He couldn’t believe his ears. He knew for a fact that she was flirting with him, yet here he was talking to her “honey.” He wanted to roll his eyes, but instead returned them to his bowl and kept eating.

“Hey, D, can I call you back? We’re just about done here...Ok, bye.” She hung up the phone and cleared her throat.

“Boyfriend?”

“Fiance actually,” she said, showing off the ring on her finger.

“Interesting…”

“What is?”

M’Baku leaned back in his chair and looked into her eyes as he spoke.

“I was not aware you were already spoken for.”

Something about the tone of his voice made her face heat up and she crossed her legs tighter.

“I have my ring on, what would make you think otherwise?”

“That right there,” he gestured to her flushed skin and fidgeting lower half. “You are awfully flirty for someone who is betrothed.”

Monae had hoped he wouldn’t notice and they could carry on like earlier, but the moment was ruined.

M’Baku looked at his watch, realizing they spent almost two hours at the restaurant. “We should get back to the center, I am sure we are missed.”

“M’Baku, I’m sorry to lead you on, but that wasn’t my intention, I just-”

“There is no need to explain, Monae.” He flashed her his gap-toothed smile and called for the waiter to bring their check. He paid, not without plenty of arguing on her end, and they headed back to work.

Shortly after he made it back to his desk the king and prince barged in.

“Soooo…?” N’Jadaka tried to get the conversation going, but M’Baku wasn’t following.

“How did it go?” T’Challa added.

“How did what go?”

The cousins looked at each other in exasperation, and yet again the hot headed prince pushed the issue further.

“Your date nigga! We saw you and Monae walking all close and shit.”

“It was not a date,” He loved the Udakus dearly, but Hanuman, they could be an annoying and intrusive bunch. “She is engaged.”

“Barely,” the cousins said with an eye roll.

“What do you mean ‘barely’?”

“My friend, she has been engaged for three years now with no wedding plans in place and he is almost never home. Like we said: barely.”

M’Baku would never knowingly break up a happy home, but he saw her body language on the phone and she didn’t seem to be as into her fiance as she was into him. Yes he was shiny and new, but the exasperation in her voice at his interruption told him what he needed to know.

“Far be it from me to advocate for adultery, but-”

“It ain't far from me, cuz,” N’Jadaka butted in. “Bak, that beautiful fairy of a woman likes your big ape ass for some reason. Fuck that nigga, she was looking at you like you’re already daddy.”

M’Baku looked over to T’Challa who was nodding in agreement. He had watched her during their department head meeting and every time M’Baku spoke she perked up and the tension fell from her shoulders. She was definitely feeling him.

“I have met this fiance just once and did not get a good vibe from him. I am not sure what it is yet, but there is something-”

M’Baku cut him off before he could even finish. He knew if he let them continue they would end up hatching a plan and roping him into it, so he nipped it in the bud.

“Do not worry about it, I would prefer to remain unattached for the short while I am here, anyway. Now if you know someone who would like something more casual, I would not mind meeting them at some point.”

“I’ll keep an eye out, brother”

“I think the newest history teacher is single, or at least there's no ring on her finger. I can’t remember her name though, is it Keisha? Naima? Whatever it is, she’s fine as hell,” N’Jadaka’s hands outlined her voluptuous body for him, which caught his interest. “I’ll see what I can do. We gon get you some pussy bruh, on Bast.”

T’Challa simply nodded in agreement again.

“Thank you both for your concern,” M’Baku responded dryly. “Now if you gentlemen would excuse me, I have to meet with the social studies department head in a minute.”

“We understand when we are not wanted, but please at least let N’Jadaka set you up. You need to get back out there again, it’s been more than enough time,” the king patted his friend’s shoulder before leaving the room, his cousin doing the same.

______

M’Baku’s last meeting didn’t end until 5 pm, and he was more than ready to get home, cook dinner, and watch a little more Fresh Prince. He packed up his things and headed out towards his car, when out of the corner of his eye he spotted Monae on the other side of the parking lot struggling with several boxes. He jogged over and took them from her hands.

“Here, let me.”

“How are you everywhere?” She laughed.

“You are just lucky, I guess.” He flashed her his million-dollar smile and she was hooked again. Derrick be damned.

“Yeah, I guess I am...um, thank you M’Baku...well uh, I should go. Busy day tomorrow with the open house and all.”

“Ah yes, what exactly is an open house?”

She chuckled at his naivety.

“Basically people from the community get to come here after hours to see what we offer. Think of it like a mass tour.”

“Interesting, well since I have nothing to show them on this tour I am sure I will have time to help if you need it.”

“Thank you, M’Baku, I just might take you up on that.”

“Good. Well, you should go home and rest for the big day ahead. I will see you tomorrow Monae.”

“Get home safe!”

It warmed his heart to hear her caring about his safety, even if it's something she said to everybody. A dreamy smile parted his lips and he felt as if she had just kissed his cheek and sent him on his way.

“You as well, Monae. You as well...”

Next Chapter

#cecewritessometimes #black panther fic #m'baku #m'baku's love #m'baku x oc #black!oc #fluff #jada kingdom

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heavensenthearty · 4 years ago

Note

Children on twitter are trying to dictate what we “adults” can and can’t do in the ATLA fandom that suits their comfort level. And trying to lecture us on “sexualizing minors” as if they make the rules in this fandom. Like excuse me you weren’t even born when ATLA aired. It is NOT your fandom. It’s our and you pushed your way in. You don’t get to complain about it making you uncomfortable after that and try to hijack it and force the original members out. The ENTITLEMENT. And (cont)

“sexualizing minors” is such a heavy and complex topic that you children have no real understanding of and certainly no authority over. Proven by the fact how carelessly you throw around terms like “pedofilia” for anything and everything to the point it’s lost all meaning. They’re even reporting people who draw aged up art whether is overtly explicit or not. Also you can’t demand you be coddled in adult spaces because your minors AND demand we take your opinions as seriously as other adults.

TW: Pedophilia, fatphobia, ableism, racism, mentions of capitalism.

Ok, this ask just triggered one hella lot of thoughts about this issue that doesn't limit itself to the ATLA fandom, so prepare yourself for a long rant, and one that I hope gets to at least one person on this age range.

A few days ago, I was talking to @awryen about this and I would like to add that this cancel culture and wokeness problem is more or so a regional one.

I never get tired of repeating this: America is a continent, not a country. There's a line called border where the U.S. ends and those kids would be amazed at how much wonders it does to people's way of thinking. (Or rather, turns out people are autonomous and are not obligated to agree with them.)

Here are a few Latin America Gen Z beliefs: capitalism does not equal greed, making everything gay is not representation, not supporting certain causes is not racism, veganism does not equal health, you get the picture.

What are they gonna do about that, shut down Venezuelans and Cubans when we are talking about the problems in our respective countries? What about when East Asian fans start talking about the racism within OG ATLA? They'll start saying we're just talking shit and wonder what did we smoke, again? (Because they already do.)

These people have not enough knowledge on world history to tell me my country was invaded by theirs when (let me tell you) it was not. They are not native from the Tibet to tell Tibetans whether a portrayal of their facial features is accurate or not. They haven't lived enough to learn enough.

The rest of the world doesn't play "match" with the U.S., it certainly doesn't revolve around them, Wikipedia is not the keeper of the secrets of the universe, and Twitter is not... well, it is hard to find an analogy of law and order that's not a synonym of oppression these days but if you can think about one, then insert it.

If you're gonna advocate for standing against oppression, then don't contribute to it acting like your problems are greater than everybody else's just because they disagree or you "can't relate" to them.

Now let's address their oh-so-beloved representation.

They like Luz in The Owl House, right? Why wouldn't they; she's brown-skinned, bisexual, speaks random Spanish from time to time. What are they gonna do if I tell them we, Latinxs, are tired of Gringos believing we do that all the time?

Luz is great, but she's not perfect rep. You need more than to make a character a certain skin color or a certain sexuality to be representation. You need to make research, you need study, you need to take the people you're trying to put under the spotlight (and their feelings) into account.

Take a good look at Avatar Korra. We all know she's bisexual because she's dating a girl, but could you tell she was even attracted to Asami (or girls in general) the same way she was attracted to Mako (or Bolin) (even freaking Tahno!) for the first 3 (let's make it 4 because even when they were together they were at arm's length) seasons of the show?

Attraction is not obvious enough to be censored but it is enough to make things less for forced!

Literally anything would have made Korrasami more believable! A scene were Asami was trying on a new dress, Korra studying her up and down and concluding out loud she looks pretty. Them staring into each other's eyes for 0.2 seconds too long after Korra finishes meditating in the Spirit World. Korra complimenting Asami's hair! Anything!

I can't speak for bisexual people, but for the little I know, it is important for them to portray bisexuality as the attraction to both genders and not just push two same-sex characters together at one point of the story and call it forever love.

Making headcanons about a character's sexuality doesn't make you a hero either, especially when those headcanons are for fetishising m/m or f/f couples. And the people that doesn't "feel that vibe" in some character are not homophobic, they just... really don't feel the vibe in there. (Autonomous, remember? They are not going to perceive things the same way you do.)

And the thing about "it is better because it is gay". Oh, then what? Tyzula is better because it is gay and headcanoned even tho Ty Lee physically cringed at the idea of Azula (her supposed friend) staying at her circus performance and then Azula burning Ty Lee's safety net and then releasing only who knows what animals just to see if they would eat Ty Lee alive?!

If you want to ship Tyzula after Azula's headcanoned redemption arc, then fine! Knock yourself out! But don't act like Ty Lee felt comfortable at all during any of their interactions throughout the show.

Making it gay doesn't make it healthy (Tyzula). Putting on a female lead doesn't make it feminist (Mulan 2020). Making said lead to speak a certain language doesn't make it rep (The Owl House).

And now to one of the really important parts of this: pedophilia.

I once said about how most Gen Z's (a generation to which I belong, in case you're wondering) are trying to pass learned stuff as personality traits. Like that kid that repeats a bad word because an older one said it but they don't know what it means.

We all know pedophilia is something horrible. They have assimilated it.

And in a very harmful way, because there are more victims of pedophilia out there than they think, and we don't like to see that word on random Twitter threads.

Yeah, we. I am one of those victims. (I don't consider myself one but 🤷🏽‍♀️) And you wouldn't want to know what thoughts go through my mind when I see that word as an answer to a beautiful piece of fanart.

Do these kids feel good when they parrot pedophilia like it was nothing? It makes them feel avenging?

Or the whole thing about "adult authors can't write about fictional teens having sex because 'its pedophilia' (yes, the double quotation marks intended) and 'incest because the characters are like their children'".

What then? Would you like it to be a 16-yo writing about her own first experience for her friends, family and just complete strangers to read? Would that make you feel better?

(@firelxdykatara has wrote some really great meta on this topic.)

Or hating on random authors.

Sure, some people are horrible, but what does it make you to be fatphobic, ableist, and just Mean Girl-like on the tl?

Does that make you feel good? Empowered? Mature? Free?

I say this because of something that happened relatively recent in my favorite book fandom, The Shadowhunter Chronicles. I'm not supporting neither Cassandra Clare or the fans on this issue, and I know many of the fans that follow me are rightfully angry as of now. Guys, I love you, and more than that I respect you, but seriously 👏🏽you👏🏽need👏🏽to👏🏽back👏🏽off👏🏽. I don't have the reach to tell Cassie why what she did was wrong, but being fatphobic and anti-semitic is not cute either! Don't support her, hate her all that you want, nobody's gonna stop you, but when you start to retweet stuff just to say how fat she is or how ugly her makeup looks, that's not criticism, that's bullying and a petty one on top of that.

How much better than people like her or J.K. Rowling are you if you go around tweeting like that?

(I know this isn't actually going to have enough reach to get to the people that need to hear it, but I'm very worried that those are the young minds that are going to inherit this planet 😶😶😶.)

#atla #avatar the last airbender #avatar the legend of aang #avatar stan #anti korrasami #mulan 2020 #the owl house #cassandra clare #anti cassandra clare

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eveningcatcher · 4 years ago

Text

Main six + courtiers in Hell's Kitchen AU with MC as Gordon Ramsey

Hi, sorry for being absent for so long. Besides the school starting, there have been some things going on in my private life that didn't really motivate me to write. I can't post new chapters every week like usual, but I'll try to post as frequently as I can. Sorry for not doing any of the requests. I had this chapter as a wip for a while, so I decided to finish it. Hope you enjoy it!

-------

Previously on Hell’s Kitchen:

Chef MC tasted the contestants’ signature dishes and, needless to say, they were not pleased.

“How can you serve me this garbage!?!” MC shouted, “I wouldn’t feed a stray dog with this crap!”

Both teams had problems in the kitchen

“You moron, what are you doing?” Nadia asked, frowning like a madman, “Where is the chicken?”

And one team had a little throwback because of one of the cooks

“Volta, what in the world are you doing?” MC shouted, not believing their eyes, “That food is for the customers!”

But now all of that is set aside as the new day and new opportunities arise. Will the chefs be able to rise to the top and win the luxurious restaurant in Vesuvia, or will they crumble at the pressure?

“I want to go back home,” Portia sobbed as she hugged her knees, “I miss my grandma.”

“Wake up sleepyhea-” one of the MC’s sous-chefs, Scout, stopped midsentence as she stared at Valerius’ bed.

He woke up as he rubbed his eyes, feeling like his head is a lot lighter. As soon as he put his head on the sheets he felt something strange. He lowered his head, only to be greeted by the sight of his braid cut off, right next to him.

“My deep apologies for the inconvenience,” Valdemar said as they put a pair of scissors down, walking out of the room to change, “I just can’t have some of your hair in the food we prepare, so I had to make some sacrifice,” they grinned from ear to ear as they stared at Valerius’ pale face, “Oh, don’t you worry, It’ll grow back before you know it.”

****

“Good morning everyone!” MC said as they watched all of the chefs come into the room, “Oh, Valerius, nice hairstyle!” they chuckled as they stared at him who still hasn’t recovered from the trauma, “Who did your hairstyle? I must say I’m quite impressed.”

“Valdemar, they, I, I was sleeping and, and, that plebian-” he was interrupted midsentence by Valdemar.

“No need to thank me, for my dearest colleague it’s free of charge,” they smiled, enjoying Valerius’ reaction.

“Anyway,” MC said, as they walked up to one table, “Today I will be seeing how good your pallets are and,” their gaze flew over Valerius, Vulgora, Nadia, Lucio and Portia, “Judging by how many smokers are here, my expectations are low,” they turned their head to Julian, “Sit this round out.”

Julian nodded as he walked to the back.

“Valerius, Nadia, come here,” they took blindfolders and headphones, putting them on the two of them, “Can you hear me?” MC shouted at the two of them, “Good, now,” they took a plate of foods from Scout, “Let’s begin, shall we?” they raised one spoon, putting it into Nadia’s mouth, “Boiled potato.”

“Is this pepper?” Nadia asked after she swallowed the potato.

MC raised one of Nadia’s headphones, saying: “Boiled potato.”

They walked over to Valerius, who wasn’t lucky enough to guess either. Surprisingly enough, Nadia, as well as Valerius, both guessed all of the exotic foods right, with Nadia bringing 2 and Valerius bringing one point to their team.

Next, it was Vlastomil’s and Asra’s turn. Vlastomil guessed all of the vegetables and fruits, while Asra only recognized a date as well as ham, however, Vlastomil got a heart attack as soon as he realized he ate meat.

“But I’m vegan!” he shouted.

“Still, you’re not cooking for vegans!” MC explained, “You just have to know what you’re cooking, I don’t give a fuck what you eat.”

Overall Asra got 2 and Vlastomil got 3 points.

Now it was Valdemar’s and Lucio’s turn. MC hesitantly put the food in Valdemar’s mouth, trying their best to avoid those sharp teeth.

“Brocolli. Pear. Tangerine. Lamb’s brain,” Valdemar simply stated after they’ve tasted all of the food.

“Wow,” MC said, “Impressive.”

Lucio, on the other hand, wasn’t as good.

“Um, broccoli, this, this is an… apple. Oh, I know what this is, it’s orange! This, this tastes like bacon!”

“Not even close,” MC said as they took off his headphones, “Go back in your line. Portia, Vulgora, come here.”

Portia, just like Valdemar, guessed all of the food right, Vulgora half as much.

“Now it all comes down to this,” MC said as they put on headphones.

Volta guessed 2 right, but Muriel guessed all of them!

“The six of you have just barely won!” MC said, “Change your clothes, I’m taking all six of you somewhere special. As for the five of you,” MC gestured at the brooms, “I want this place crystal clear!”

“Yes, chef!”

While the winners prepared themselves to finally go outside, the losing team went straight on to cleaning the hell’s kitchen.

“Wonder where we’ll go?” Portia said as she walked with Nadia outside.

“Honestly, any place is better than here,” she commented as she lit her cigarette, offering Portia one.

She happily took it and, once Nadia lit it for her, continued, “He told us to put on swimsuits, maybe a beach?”

“I sure hope it is!” Lucio said as he walked up to the two of them, to which Nadia only rolled her eyes.

“I can’t believe I was put in the same team as my ex-husband!” Nadia frowned at the camera, clearly pissed.

****

“Is everyone ready?” MC asked as they watched the other three walk out of the hell’s kitchen.

“Yes, chef!” the six of them said in unison.

“Very well then, let’s get going,” MC said as they gestured to a luxurious limousine.

****

“Finally!” Lucio puffed his chest as he stared at the camera, “A car worthy of me!”

****

“Can you guess where we’re going?” MC asked the six of them.

“To the beach?” Portia and Nadia guessed.

“No, but you’re close,” MC said as they stared at others.

“A pool?” Muriel asked.

“Nadia and Portia were closer.”

“To the yacht?” Julian asked.

MC smiled and, with a small nod said: “You’ve guessed it!

****

“Oh my gosh, this will be just like my childhood!” Portia happily exclaimed, “The wind blowing through my hair, the smell of saltwater in the air…” she rambled on and on, “Ohh, I can’t wait!”

****

“Can you imagine what the five of them are doing right now?” Mc asked as they sipped on champagne.

“Oh, I definitely wouldn’t want to be in their shoes,” Julian added as he finished his glass.

“Alright, now that that’s out of the way,” Valdemar said as they put the brooms in their place, “We need to make a strategy on how to win.”

“We would have won, had someone not guessed only 2 foods right,” Valerius said, eyeing Volta not so discreetly.

“Who are you to talk?” Vulgora said, getting annoyed, “You only guessed one right! You did the worst out of all of us!” it seemed that it was enough to shut Valerius up, but Vulgora continued, “And you! How did you not recognize ham of all things?”

“Because I’m vegan!” Vlastomil shouted, clearly offended.

“This can’t do,” Valdemar said with a frown, “Let’s get one thing straight,” they started talking right after the four of them shut up, “We don’t like each other,” to that all of them nodded, “But the only way we can stay in this competition is to make sure that those six are the ones who always lose.”

“Makes sense,” Vulgora said.

“So you propose that we get rid of 6 of them first?” Valerius asked.

“Exactly, then we can deal with each other later,” Valdemar nodded and, after a short pause, added, “Oh, also, I have no wish to win this competition.”

“WHAT?” the other four asked, not believing what they heard.

“You see, I have absolutely no knowledge about cooking, at all, as a matter of fact, I’m a surgeon.”

“Why did you get here then?” Vlastomil asked, confused.

“Because I made a bet with my colleague, that ginger guy in the opposite team. If I were to get further in this competition than him, he’d have to buy me three rare specimens for my research, but if he were to win I’d have to get him 30 jars filled with leeches,” they finished their sentence, rolling their eyes.

“So, what you’re saying is that you wouldn’t mind if we were to vote you off as soon as that idiot is out?”

“I’d be more than grateful,” Valdemar said with a grin.

“Seems good enough!” Volta said as she nibbled on one of the cookies. “Wait,” she asked as she ate the whole cookie in one bite, “Why were you accepted in the Hell’s kitchen?”

“Same reason why ex-husband and wife were put in the same team,” they simply shrugged, “For the drama.”

“Oh, how much I wish they were to lose,” Valerius said in front of the camera, still thinking about his braid.

“We’re opening hell’s kitchen!” MC said as everybody got to their places in the kitchen, “Don’t disappoint me again! Also, we’re one waiter short and since you are the losing team,” MC took a glance at five of them, “Valerius, you’ll be a replacement.”

Valerius only nodded as he left the kitchen.

“Vlastomil, you’ll be at the meat section,” Valdemar simply stated as they sharpened some of the knives.

“But I-” he wanted to protest, but Vulgora interrupted them.

“Stop complaining and go!”

“Alright, let’s begin,” Asra said as they read the first order, “Let’s just put the same effort as yesterday.”

“This will be a breeze,” Asra grinned at the camera, “The opposite team is two cooks short! There is just no way we can lose,” as soon as Asra said that a smile disappeared on their face, “Unless…”

“OH FUCK!” Lucio shouted, not taking their eyes off the burning pan, “Um… I may have made an oopsie…”

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?” Nadia shouted, mortified, “Someone, stop the fire!” she demanded.

Everyone gasped in shock, with Asra walking as far away from the fire as they could while Portia pulled Julian towards her before his clothes could have caught on fire as well. Muriel irked his head, trembling at the sight of fire slowly spreading to the other cookware. The fear didn’t stop him though, as he quickly found the fire extinguisher, stopping the fire.

“Oh, thank you,” Nadia said, hugging Muriel tightly, “You’ve saved us!”

“Why do I smell fire?” MC asked as they walked over to the kitchen, “Nadia, explain!”

“Lucio started a fire.”

“Oh my God,” MC said as they buried their head in both of their hands, “Did anyone get hurt?” they asked calmly, not bothering to move.

Nadia quickly took a glance at Lucio and Muriel. She knew very well that Lucio would complain like a little child had he gotten a single bruise. Muriel didn’t seem hurt either, in fact, he turned away, going back to his station as if nothing happened.

“No, sir, everyone is fine,” Nadia stated.

“Nadia, go back to the station, as for you Lucio,” MC raised their head, staring at Lucio as if they were about to murder him on the spot, “I want the oven spotless and you as far away from it as POSSIBLE!!!”

“Yes, yes, sir,” Lucio visibly shook as he got to work.

“Come on, this is our chance!” Vulgora shouted as they cut some meat, handing it over to Vlastomil, “DON’T,” they said before Vlastomil could even start complaining.

“Is the shrimp pasta done?” Scout asked.

“We’re on it!” Volta said as Valdemar gave her a prepared sauce. She carefully poured it over the pasta, fighting the urge not to stuff her face with the food like yesterday. As soon as they were done, she carefully carried it over to Scout, who nodded in approval.

Soon enough Valerius walked over, picking up the plate, taking a glance at both kitchens. Sure, his team was very slow, with only a couple of dishes out, but the other team was somehow far worse. He smirked as he walked over to the table.

“Your order,” he said as he put the plate down, “I hope you enjoy it,” he said with a smile plastered on his face as he walked over to the other table.

“Good evening,” he said as he eyed the customers, “How can I help you?”

“Oh, hi there~” a woman greeted him happily as she played with the blue fabric of the dress, “So, I’d like…” she stared at the menu for a moment, then pointed out at one dish, “This. As for the drink…” she thought for a moment, “I’d like some champagne!”

“Champagne along with that food?” Valerius asked, disappointed, as well as one of the men sitting with the girl.

“Seriously Star,” an older man shrugged, “Everyone knows that red wine would go much better with it.”

“Oh, then I’ll take the red wine,” she said, a bit embarrassed that she had to be corrected by her colleague.

“Agreed,” Valerius said as he wrote down her order, “What would you like, sir?”

“I’d like some pasta, no meat,” he added, “I’m a vegetarian.”

Valerius wrote the order down and, just before he could hand the order over to the opposite team, one of the customers called for him. He turned around, hiding his annoyance, “Is something the matter, sir?” he asked.

“Look at this crap!” the woman gestured at her plate, “It looks disgusting!”

Although he’d gladly agree with the woman, just because that would put the opposite team in a terrible position, Valerius knew there was nothing wrong with the dish. “My apologies, but I don’t seem to understand. What are you complaining about?”

“It’s too hot for me to eat it! And look at the colours!”

Valerius took another glance at the plate and after a moment continued talking with less patience, “What do you want me to do? To blow your food? Just wait for it to cool down like all of the civilized people for God’s sake. Stop wasting my time,” he said as he went back into the kitchen, handing Scout all of the orders.

“Hey, I’m not done!” she shouted as she walked over to chef MC, “Sir, you need to put your waiters in their place!” she shouted at MC, “I have never been disrespected like this in my entire life!”

“What a coincidence, I can say the same,” Valerius commented, unbothered, as he took the plates, walking away from her, adding, “Apologies for not cooling your food down.”

“See?” she pointed at Valerius, “I demand-”

“Miss, I’m working here,” MC said with a deep frown on their face, “Nobody has the time to listen to your stupid complaints,” they added as they wrote something down on the paper, “Please return when you have a reasonable complaint, if not, go to the psychiatrist and solve your issues. Don’t lash out your anger on my staff.”

“How bold of you to complain about my anger!” she wanted to continue, but as soon as she saw MC’s cold face, stopped, going back to her seat.

“Look at that idiot,” Vulgora laughed as they chopped some meat, taking a glance at Volta who was devouring the returned food, “Hey, what are you doing?!? Get back to your station!!!”

“Oh come on,” MC frowned as they watched Volta go back, “Speed it up, speed it up! Stop wasting time on the leftovers!”

Volta nodded, her mouth still full of food.

“My grandma would cook faster than all of you!” they shouted, taking a glance at how the other kitchen was doing, and oh boy, they had what to see.

The other kitchen was a mess. Portia accidentally spilt the boiling water on poor Lucio’s arm and it seemed that Asra and Muriel enjoyed the sight while Nadia and Julian pretended to not hear Lucio’s screams.

“Are you alright?” Portia asked, worried, “I’m so sorry!” she said as she grabbed his hand, only to find out that Lucio was pretending.

“Got ya!” he shouted like a little kid as he showed her his metal arm, “As for you,” he turned to the other three, but before he could make any remark, he noticed MC looking at them, their face turning redder and redder every moment.

“What in the world is going on?!?” they shouted, losing all of their patience. Within a moment the restaurant was closed and all of the chefs shivered in front of MC.

“You were terrible, disgusting!” they shouted and paused, trying to calm themselves down, “You,” they turned to Volta, “I believe we’ve talked about not eating food during the job.”

“Yes, but Volta couldn’t help herself,” she quickly explained, “Volta is sorry-” she would have continued, but MC raised their hand, signalling for her to stop.

“Your team was so terribly slow-”

“But we were two cooks short! Of course, we’d be slow!” Vulgora protested.

“I know that,” MC stated calmly, “You were also most complimented, especially the meat dishes. Who was in the meat section anyway?” they asked as all of them pointed at Vlastomil. At the sight of him, MC couldn’t help but forget all of the rage they felt. After a good minute of laughter, they continued, “Seriously, you made the dishes?” they wiped off the tears in their eyes, “Good job. Keep it up,” they said as they left Vlastomil to dwell in his existential crisis.

“I…” Vlastomil said, not bothering to stare at the camera, “I’ve been a vegetarian my whole life! I’ve never had any meat in my house…” he paused for a moment, still trying to process MC’s compliment, “So why did people enjoy my food?”

“As for you,” they turned to the other team, “Yesterday you were, you were amazing, how did it all change in one night? I believe it’s obvious who is the losing team. Muriel, you were the best of the worst, choose two candidates for the elimination,” with that, MC left the two teams on their own.

“Bye bye Lucio!” Vulgora grinned.

“What do you mean?! I’m not getting eliminated.”

After that sentence, everyone stared at him, thinking the same thing – could Lucio really be this dumb?

“What if, what if I get eliminated,” Portia started to get worried, “I mean, I could’ve seriously harmed someone,” she continued with her blabbering, “Oh, what will I do?” she started crying.

“Oh come on, don’t be like that,” Julian reassured her, “Everything will be fine.”

“No, it won’t!” Portia said, “I could have seriously hurt someone, do you think MC will let that slide?” she stared at Julian, her eyes becoming glossier.

“Look, you made no damage whatsoever,” Julian explained calmly as he tried to soothe his sister down, “That idiot could’ve burned the whole restaurant down.”

“Hey, don’t bring me into this!” Lucio shouted, “You did nothing the whole time! You were slow, unorganized and most of your dishes were returned!”

Julian ignored his comments, turning to Muriel, “Please don’t choose Portia,” he begged, “Choose me!”

Lucio turned to Muriel as well, “Don’t even think about choosing me!”

Muriel didn’t say a thing, instead, he just sighed, leaving the room.

“He… he won’t vote for me, right?” Lucio asked, feeling nervous.

~~~

“So, Muriel,” MC said as all of the chefs aligned, “Who do you choose and why?”

“I choose Lucio and Portia,” he felt shame as Portia’s name came out of his mouth, but there is no turning back now, “Lucio could’ve nearly burned the kitchen down had I not stepped in,” he simply explained, “As for Portia, she could’ve harmed someone with that boiling water,” he quickly added, trying to make Portia sound as good as possible, “Also, Lucio’s fake screams were completely immature. Such serious injuries shouldn’t be joked about.”

“Wait, please,” Julian walked out of the line, “I should be eliminated!” as soon as he said that, a smirk appeared on one certain doctor’s face, “I didn’t do anything when the fire started, I ignored Lucio’s cries and many people complained about my food! I, I’m not even a chef! I’m a doctor. There is no reason to keep me in the competition!”

MC stared at him, thinking about everything he said, “Very well then, if you’re so eager, join these two,” they gestured at Lucio and Portia.

“The person that will be eliminated from this competition is…” MC finally continued talking after a long pause, “Julian. Take your things and leave Hell’s kitchen.”

Despite the loss, Julian smiled brightly at MC. “Thank you for not choosing Pasha!”

“It, it’s happening!” Valdemar said happily as he stared at the camera, “Oh, what is this… feeling?” they stared at their hands, “Is it joy? Yes, it, it must be it, I have never felt so good. Oh, this is a dream come true, trust me, there is no better feeling than finally proving an idiot wrong. I just cannot wait to come back to my ordination, I should better start writing down the list of specimen I want!” they squealed like a high school girl, making the cameraman quite uncomfortable.

“Well, it sucks that I’ve lost the bet with Valdemar,” Julian admitted, “But at least my sister can keep going. I genuinely hope she can win and achieve her dream!” he said as he walked out of the Hell’s kitchen.

39 notes · View notes

atlafan · 5 years ago

Text

Take it Slow - Part Eighty-One

a/n: okay this is my first shot at a harry:y/n fic, and it will be multiple parts. y/n had a bad experience with an ex over a year ago, and finally accepts her coworker and good friend Niall’s invitation to go on a blind date with his friend Harry.

Warnings: Fluff and smut.

Masterpost (all previous parts can be found in the masterpost)

Harry woke up by himself the next morning. He had to remember where he was, and that he couldn’t just go down the stairs in his boxers. Well he probably could, but he didn’t wanna hear the girls hooting and hollering. He throws a graphic T and workout shorts on. When he opens the door he smells eggs, bacon, and toast..and hears a lot of giggling. It was only 8:30, how fucking early did they get up. He sees Niall in the hallway.

“How fuckin’ early did they get up?”

“Sarah got out of bed at 3AM, I think they watched a movie downstairs.”

“I didn’t even hear Y/N get up…”

The boys go downstairs. There were mimosas in flutes ready to go, and a ton of food. You smile at Harry. You had a long t-shirt on and some spandex shorts. You grab a mimosa and hand it to him.

“Morning! I made you some vegan sausages and there’s toast too. Here, mimosas are perfect for hangovers, oh! I made hashbrowns too.”

“Uh, thanks sweetie.” He takes a sip. “I didn’t hear you get up last night.”

“Yeah, I passed out for a few hours and then I woke up and couldn’t fall back asleep so I went downstairs, and Sarah was already down there and then Rachel came down so we just hung out and then we went to the store the second it opened.”

Harry and Niall make plates. Mariah was already sitting at the table, sipping on some coffee.

“Did you go to the store with them?” Harry asks.

“No, I woke up just as confused as you did. I came down to make coffee and they come rushing in with so much fucking food.”

You and the girls sit down.

“So, we’re doin’ the beach today?” Niall asks.

“Yup! And we already packed up all our lunches and everything else we could need. Just need to change into swimsuits.” Sarah says.

“How…how are you all functioning?”

“Three words.” Rachel says. “Boot and rally.” Harry looks at you and puts a hand on your shoulder.

“You got sick?”

“No…well, only once, but I was fine after. I actually felt a lot better after. Drank a bunch of water.”

“How did we not hear you all pukin’?” Niall asks.

“Can we not talk about puke, please?” Mariah asks.

You all laugh and continue eating. You leave the boys to clean up since you all cooked. You were just picking your bathing suit out when Harry comes into the room. He comes up from behind you to hug you.

“I didn’t get to return the favor last night.” He whispers in your ear and you smile. You turn around to face him. “That was also one hell of a blow job.”

“Oh, yeah? You liked that?”

“Loved it.” He kisses you. Just as he’s about to take your shirt off you hear Rachel scream from down the hall.

“What the….” You run to the door and open in it. You see Rachel on the floor laughing and you run to her. “What happened?!” You look to where she’s pointing and start laughing too. Harry runs down the hall and looks at Mariah, then into Sarah and Niall’s room.

“I’ve never seen a whiter ass in my life! You better make sure he puts some sunscreen on!” Rachel laughs harder.

“Now who were you saying couldn’t keep their hands off each other? All the doors lock you idiot!”

“Stop it! Can you all please, just stop!” Sarah had tugged her robe on, and Niall was wrapped in a blanket, also laughing. “What were you even doing just walking into our room?!”

“You have my cover up!”

“You could have knocked!”

“Oi! Let’s move on, clearly they wanna get it on before we go to the beach, I saw we let them. You dirty little animals!”

Sarah groans loudly and slams the door shut, everyone hears her lock it. You help Rachel up off the ground.

“The whitest ass I’ve ever seen.” She mouths to you and you giggle.

“It’s that Irish skin, love.” Harry winks at her and leads you back down the hall to your room.

“I am so glad our room is farther away. Least now she knows what it’s like.”

“Yup, so let’s lock our door, and-“

“Get dressed? Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.”

“Oh, come on, I was just about to-“

“The moment has passed, I’m sorry baby.”

You grab your bathing suit and go into the bathroom to change and do your hair. Harry silently screams and then calms down and grabs his yellow trunks to change into. You come out in a strapless black top, and a high waisted black bottom.

“Jesus.”

“Could you actually tie the back tighter for me? I feel like I’m gonna fall out of this thing.”

“Yeah, sure.”

He unties the flimsy knot you made and ties at it, make it nice and tight. Then he ties it into a nice bow.

“Thanks sweetie.” You grab your blue coverup dress and throw it on. You bend over and put your hair into a ponytail. You feel a smack to your ass and you stand up after putting your hair up. You turn to look at Harry. “You really wanna play that game with me right now?”

“If you’re gonna deprive me, yeah.”

“Deprive you!” You laugh, and there’s a knock at the door. You open it and see Rachel and Mariah.

“You guys ready? Sarah’s in the car already.” Rachel says.

“She’s psychotic.” You laugh. “Come on, Harry.”

You all cram into Sarah’s car. Harry pulls you onto his lap, and off you go to the beach. It was a beautiful day out, not a cloud in the sky. When you get out of the car you fix your hair so it’s up in a bun. You all find a spot away from the more crowded areas, and spread out. You spread out a large towel and so do the girls. Harry and Niall both brought chairs to sit in. Niall sets an umbrella up to put the coolers under. You take your cover up off.

“Oh, Y/N! What a cute two piece.” Rachel says to you.

“Thanks! I got it to wear in Aruba since my ass is a little more covered, you know?”

Mariah had a cute, teal one piece on with a little cute out on the upper stomach. Rachel was in a pink two piece, and Sarah was wearing a floral, strapless two piece.

“Okay, let’s pictures before we all get sweaty and gross.” Sarah says.

“Good idea.” You say. “Let’s go down near the water.”

“Do you want me to take pictures for you?” Mariah asks.

“That’d be great, babe!” Rachel kisses her on the cheek and the four go down towards the water.

Harry and Niall continue setting up, but they can’t help but look at their girlfriends.

“Look at them pose.” Niall chuckles.

You all take silly photos. The three of you turn around and look over your shoulders and pout towards the camera. You all looked cute with your sunglasses on. You jump onto Rachel’s back and Mariah gets a great shot of Sarah laughing at the two of you. The three of you come back up, and you sit on Harry’s lap.

“So cute.” Mariah takes your picture with him.

“Would you put some sunscreen on my back?” Harry asks.

“Mhm.”

You both stand up and you spray the lotion on him, rubbing it in good to his shoulders and the back of his neck.

“I think I’m gonna lay on my stomach for a bit.” You say.

“Oh, me too. Do that for a little while then we’ll be hot enough to go for a swim.” Sarah says.

The three of you all lay on your stomachs on your towels, and the three of you reach simultaneously for the ties on your suits.

“Woah! What are yeh doin’?” Niall asks. You turn to look at him, and dip your sunglasses so you can really make eye contact.

“Do you know how annoying these tan lines would be, everybody does this.” You look over at Harry. “Could you get my back for me please?”

He swallows hard. He truly thinks the three of you are crazy to so easily expose yourselves. One wrong move and a boob could pop out. But the three of you clearly didn’t care. He looks over at Mariah who was already rubbing lotion on Rachel, and Niall was doing the same for Sarah. He decides that if you’re going to torture him like this, he may as well have some fun. He takes a seat on your bum and you gasp.

“You’re too heavy!”

“Am not, relax.” He sprays the lotion in his hands and works it up and down your back. He’d feel terrible if you burned, even if you did seem to have a decent tan already. “Want me to get the backs of your legs too.”

“Yes please.”

He does so and gets off of you.

“Come lay next to me for a bit.” You smile at him and he gets on his stomach next to you.

Your eyes feel droopy and you slowly start to drift off. Harry eventually gets up to sit in his chair. He grabs his glasses and takes his book out. You wake up to the feeling of more sunscreen being sprayed on your back.

“Shit, sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you…” Harry says.

“That’s okay.” You grab your top and sit up.

“Jesus, Y/N!”

“I’m covered, relax. Can you tie me up please?” Harry kneels behind you and ties your top back up. “Thank you.” You look over and see Rachel and Sarah still asleep. “Wanna go into the water, baby?”

“Yeah.” He smiles and helps you up. You walk hand in hand down to the water. “Are you having fun so far?”

“Mhm, lots.” You dip your toe in. “Wow, it’s actually warm.” You look up at him. “Please don’t throw me in again, I don’t wanna wash my hair later.”

“Alright.”

You both wade into the water and get about hip deep. Harry dives in and gets his hair all wet. You giggle when he comes back up and you run your hand through it. He pulls you close and down slightly so you’ll swim with him.

“Oh, Niall, grab Harry’s phone, take a picture of them.” Mariah says.

“Good idea.” He takes a couple snaps of you two in the water.

You wrap your arms and legs around Harry and he carries you in just a little deeper. You put your sunglasses on the top of your head and kiss him. You tug at his hair slightly and his tongue enters your mouth. You moan quietly against him. You let go and look around, there weren’t any people around you.

“Do you think anyone would see…if…” You start blushing, and he raises an eyebrow at you.

“If we what, angel?” He kisses on your neck.

“If we, if you just…stick it in.” You look up at him.

“You want have sex in the water?”

“Where else can we sneak off to? I’m certainly not fucking you in the bathroom, that’s gross, and I think Sarah would kill me if fucked in her car, and I…I want you.”

“Alright, I’ll, uh, I’ll just finger you, yeah?”

“Okay.”

He goes in just a little deeper to make sure most of your bodies were covered. He holds you close with one arm and you cling to him will his other hand moves your bathing suit bottom to the side. He brushes over you at first, but doesn’t waste time being cute. Two fingers are being pushed inside you before you know it. You hide your face in the crook of his neck, and grab at his hair.

“Where are Harry and Y/N?” Rachel asks with a yawn.

“They went for a dip.” Niall points. Sarah gets up and sits in his lap. He ties up the back of her suit for her.

“What are they doing?” Sarah asks, rubbing sleep from her eyes.

Niall squints and then his eyes grow wide.

“Uhhh, just looks like they’re uh havin’ a quick snog.”

“Snog?” Sarah laughs.

“Probably didn’t wanna, um, makeout right in front of us.”

Niall had an idea that more was going on, but didn’t want to draw attention to it.

“Harry.” You whisper into his ear.

“Doin’ so good bein’ quiet.” He says as his fingers curl up inside you.

“I need you to kiss me.” You groan.

You move your face to his and your lips slot over his. He knew you were close. You were tightening and pulsating around him. His thumb rubs over your clit and you gasp.

“Shhh, come back to me.” Your lips find his again and you bite down on his bottom lip to stifle yourself.

He pumps in and out of you faster, and your legs tighten around his waist. You tug harshly at his hair, and then your body goes slack. Waves of pleasure coming over you. Harry holds you up, and slowly retracts his fingers from you. You rest your head against his chest as you catch your breath. You drop your legs from his waist and look up at him. He cups your cheeks and kisses you tenderly.

“What can I do for you?” You say against his lips.

“Just need a sec, I’ll be alright.” You giggle as he swims around trying to get rid of his boner.

You swim around a bit yourself and you both work your way back towards the shore. Your friends were starting to sip on drinks and eat snacks when you get back to your spot.

“Here’s Y/N.” Sarah tosses you a hard seltzer.

“Thanks!” You crack it open and slide your sunglasses back down. Harry sits in his chair and pulls you to sit on him.

“You two have fun in the water?” Niall asks.

“Mhm.” You say sipping your drink. “Water feels great, actually. You all should go for a swim.”

After chilling for a bit, and listening to music you feel a little bored.

“Rach, do you wanna go in the water and toss the tennis ball around with me?”

“Yeah!”

You give Harry a kiss on the cheek and walk down to the water with Rachel. Harry settles back in with his glasses and book.

“Harry, I have to say, you look so adorable with your glasses.” Sarah says.

“Thanks.” He chuckles.

“You don’t wear them often.”

“Just need ‘em for readin’ like Niall does.”

“Babe.” She says to Niall. “I’m gonna go play catch with them.”

“Alright.” He smiles and puckers his lips, and she kisses him. The three watch you all toss the tennis ball around. “This is like way more chill than I thought would be, it’s great.”

“Yeah, I thought they’d be hammered.” Harry says.

“That’ll happen tonight I’m sure.” Mariah says.

You all come back up for lunch. You hand Harry a lettuce wrap, and sit on your towel.

“So when is your actual birthday, Y/N?” Mariah asks.

“Sunday.” Harry says, and you smile at him.

“So we’ll go to an actual club tomorrow night.” You explain.

“What’s the plan for tonight?” Niall asks. You look at Rachel and Sarah.

“Well, we have some stuff planned. There’s a carnival along the peer. Thought after dinner we could pregame a little, and then check out some of the rides and stuff.” Sarah says.

“Oh that sounds like fun! Then we can get that fire pit up and running after get back.” You say.

“Then Sunday we were thinking of taking the ferry to the Vineyard.” Rachel says.

“Yes! We can go to that ice cream place, and that house with all the Betty Boop stuff out front.”

“And Sunday night we’ll go out for a nice dinner.” Sarah says.

“Wow, you guys really got it all figured out.” Niall smirks.

“Oh, we don’t fuck around when it comes to birthdays.” Rachel says.

As the afternoon sun gets stronger, you go back and forth between water and hard seltzer. You were itching to actually have sex with Harry. Around 4PM you all pack everything up and get into the car.

“Think I’m gonna shower when we back.” You announce. “What are we doing for dinner?”

“Niall, wanna get the grill goin’?” Harry asks.

“Sure! We can do a little BBQ.”

You all get into the house. Everyone wanted to get out of their bathing suits, so Harry followed you upstairs. You close your door and lock it behind you. He helps you untie the knot on your swim suit and you sigh with relief.

“Shit, you got a little pink, babe.”

You look down at yourself and see the small patches.

“It’s alright, it’ll fade. Besides, you can just rub some aloe on me.” You wink. You bite your bottom. “Wanna hop in the shower with me?”

“Yes.”

He follows you in, and you turn the water on. You get the rest of your suit off and so does he. You both giggle as you get in. He was pressed right against you.

“Tight squeeze, yeah?” He chuckles.

“Just a little. We might need to get creative. Do you have room to lift me?”

“Let’s find out.”

Rachel was in the bathroom attached to her room, washing her face off when she heard something. She didn’t think much of it until she heard it again.

“Oh my god, Mariah.” She says giggle. Mariah was just getting into a t-shirt and shorts.

“Yeah?”

“Come here and tell me if you’re hearing what I’m hearing.”

Mariah smirks and comes into the bathroom.

“Fuck, Harry.” You moan.

Harry had lifted you, and gotten your legs hooked under his arms. He was getting in so deep. He lets one of your legs drop and you pout. He puts a hand over your mouth to signal you needed to be a little quieter. He keeps it there as you moan out again. You try to say something so he takes his hand away.

“Please, wrap your hand around my throat, need it.”

Everything was muffled, but Mariah heard it. Her jaw drops and she looks at Rachel. They quietly leave the bathroom and start laughing.

“They’re wild.” Rachel says.

“Jesus, I thought they got enough in the water.”

“What do you mean?”

“When they were swimming earlier, he for sure was diddling her, why do you think they were wrapped up so close?”

“Damn, good for them.”

“Come on, let’s see if Niall needs some help with the grill.” She kisses Rachel quick and they head downstairs.

Harry had his hand around your throat as you requested, not as hard as you would have liked, but he didn’t want to leave any new marks. He didn’t want anyone giving you a tough time this weekend. He gives you another squeeze and then he lets go of you, bringing his hand down to rub your clit. Your head rolls back against the tile. Your nails dig into his shoulders and you release. His comes shortly after, long overdue. He fills you up, and then watches it drip out of you.

“I hate when you watch.” You whine.

“Can’t help it. Pass me the bodywash.”

You both finish up and get out. You pick out a pair of shorts, a tank top, and a cardigan.

“Babe, if you grab your brush and some elastics, I’ll braid yeh hair downstairs.”

“Really?!” You squeal and grab your things. You loved when Harry did your hair.

You both head downstairs. Niall and Sarah were outside with the grill while Mariah and Rachel were preparing a salad. Harry sits on the couch and you sit in front of him on the floor. He takes your hair out of your bun and runs his hands through your hair.

“How do yeh want it?”

Rachel nearly chokes on her drink when she hears him ask you the question.

“Are you okay?” You say to her.

“Yeah, um, what are you guys doing?”

“Harry’s gonna braid my hair.” You smile. “He’s really good at it.”

“How do you know how to braid hair?”

“My hair used to be, like, really long, so I just learned.” He shrugs.

You roll your head back to look at him. He raises his eyebrows at you, still waiting for an answer.

“Could you do a big one down the middle and then put it up into a pony?”

“Yup.” He kisses your forehead and you face forward again.

You close your eyes as his fingers rake through your hair and starts his work.

“This I have to see.” Rachel comes over and sits next to Harry, and watches his fingers move with intricacy.

“Oi! Do you two want veggie burgers?” Niall shouts.

“Yes please!” You shout back.

Harry finishes your hair, and taps you on the shoulders.

“How’s it look?” You ask Rachel.

“Really good! Nice work, Harry.”

“What can I say? I have a gift.”

You kiss him on the cheek. You all head outside to eat dinner. The house had a nice patio and large glass table to fit everyone. Sarah had set everything up buffet style. You make up a plate for Harry and kiss him on the top of his head as you set it down in front of him. You all enjoy fun conversations and tell jokes while you eat.

Once dinner is cleaned up, the blender is broken out for frozen margaritas. Someone puts music on and you all are just being goofy having a good time. You change into a pair of jeans and some sneakers before you walk out to go to the carnival. The peer was only a short distance from the house. Harry keeps an arm hooked around your waist as you walk. You all get wrist bands so you don’t have to worry about tickets.

“Okay, I’m telling you now, I do not like roller coasters, so I won’t be doing any of the crazy rides.” You tell Harry. He laughs and nods his head.

“So are we splitting up, staying together, what’s the game plan?” Mariah asks.

“Let’s stay together.” You say. “We’re in even number so all the rides we agree on should work out.”

You all head towards the tilta whirl first. You white knuckle the bar as the ride starts to move forward. Harry throws an arm around your shoulders. The ride goes faster and you start screaming. You look up at Harry and your screams turn into laughter. He’s laughing too. The rides slows and you catch your breath, but you remember it goes backwards just as fast.

“Holy shit!” You scream, laugh.

The rides ends and you all get off. You and the girls take some selfies, and you take one with Harry.

“Y/N, take one with Niall.” Sarah says.

You and Niall press back to back and cross your arms, looking oh so cool. You giggle at each other and he hugs you, Sarah snapping another cute picture. You go on another couple of rides, and let the boys go on some of the more vigorous ones. Eventually you all start walking around to where you can win prizes. You do a ring toss, but don’t win. Harry plays the bottle game and manages to knock them down, winning you a teddy bear.

“Oh my god!” You squeal and wrap your arms around his neck. You kiss him on the cheek and take the bear.

You and the girls split some fried dough before heading back to the house. Niall and Harry get the fire going while Mariah finds some blankets, and you and the girls get the chairs set up.

Rachel and Mariah sit in a wicker love-seat, and snuggle up under a blanket. Harry pulls you into his lap and Sarah sits on Niall’s.

“This was the perfect day.” You say, nestling in further to Harry. He was practically cradling you.

You were all sipping on beers, just shooting the shit. The conversation had turned a little more serious, but in a good way. Rachel was talking about how her parents were going to move to Florida soon.

“They’re leaving in November, can you believe that? Right before Thanksgiving. They said I could come down for the holidays, as if plane tickets don’t cost an arm and a leg.” She sighs. “I’m happy for them…my brother and I don’t exactly need them close by anymore, but now we have to like pack up our childhood home, it sucks.” Mariah squeezes her shoulder.

“Do you need any help? We can be there for you.” You say.

“Thanks, that’s sweet. I’m gonna take some time at the end of the month to go there, I’ll let you guys know.”

A few beers later, and Niall goes inside to use the bathroom. Harry needed to pee too, so you let him get up to go. Sarah couldn’t contain herself anymore.

“Okay, so do you guys wanna know why Niall and I got busy this morning?” She grins.

“Yes!” You say. “Spill.”

“He invited me to go to Ireland with him at the end of the month!”

You all squeal, even Mariah joins in.

“That’s amazing!” Rachel exclaims. “He just asked you this morning, out of the blue?”

“He said he wanted to ask me sooner, but he wanted to make it special, and then he was like what am I even freaking out about, and then…this morning…he just put two plane tickets on the bed…that he made himself, cause obviously you can’t print the boarding passes.”

“Wait, so he had already gotten everything together?” You ask.

“Yes! It was so romantic, and then fucking Rachel ruined it!” She laughs.

“Lock the fucking door tonight then, bitch!”

“What are yeh all yellin’ about out here?” Niall asks, coming back out with more drinks and Harry. You move so you can continues sitting in his lap.

“You, you little softy.” You say.

“What did I do? Oh!” He looks at Sarah, and holds her a little tighter. “You told them?”

“Mhm.” She kisses him.

This was a big deal for Niall. He had never brought a girl home before, not like this anyways. He loved Sarah, and she loved him. He also planned to ask her to move in with him soon, but that will come later.

“You’re gonna love Niall’s mum and brothers, they’re awesome.” Harry says.

“I’m really excited! I went to Ireland in high school on a class trip, and have always wanted to go back.” She looks at him. “This’ll be much more special though.”

You’re exhausted by the time you head up to bed. You flop onto your back and sigh.

“Can’t sleep in your clothes love.”

“But I’m too lazy to take them off.”

Harry grabs you by the ankles and brings you closer to the edge of the bed. You giggle as he undoes your jeans and drags them down your legs. You kick them off and he tugs at your panties.

“You better not fall asleep on me tonight.” He smirks as you lift your hips to help him get your underwear off.

“Don’t worry, I won’t. I’ll be your good girl.” You giggle.

Both of his eyebrows raise. “How drunk are you?”

“Only a little.” You prop up on your elbows and open your legs for him. “Come on baby.” You pout. “Know you want a taste.”

Harry licks his lips. He loves when you’re like this. You move back on the bed so he can get on too. He kisses from your knee to your inner thigh. His thumb brushes over one of the mark he left from the other day. He sucks on a spot right next to it. He had gotten really into leaving love bites on your inner thighs for some reason. For the most part, they were easier to hide. Harry had always liked leaving marks out in the open for anyone to see, but lately it really turned him on to leave marks where only he’d be able to see them.

You gasp when you feel the skin break, and he licks over it to soothe you. He swipes a stripe up your center without warning. He does this a few times, looking up at you, you looking right back at him. His eyes flutter closed when his tongue goes up inside you, his thumb rubbing slow circles on your clit. You tug at his hair and he groans against you.

“Don’t, don’t come in your pants, I’m gonna want that.”

He gives you a thumbs up as his lips wrap around your clit and two of his fingers are plunging inside you. You gasp as your head rolls back into the pillow.

“Bite down on somethin’.” He says against you, still driving his fingers in and out.

“No, don’t wanna.”

“I don’t want them to hear you.”

“Harry, I don’t wanna be-“

He yanks his fingers out of you and gives you a stern look.

“Now, it’s your birthday weekend, so I really wanna be nice and sweet to you, but I can’t do that if you don’t listen to me.” Your cheeks flush. You can’t remember the last time he was so…dominant with you. Daddy was in town, not that you would ever fucking say that to him. “I won’t let you come if you don’t do as I say.” You swear you felt your pussy throb. “We clear?”

“Yes.”

He smiles at you and you place your forearm over your mouth. He inserts his fingers back into you. He was knuckle deep and hitting just where you needed him to. You clasp both hands over your mouth and your eyes roll into the back of your head. Your chest was heaving, and you watch Harry sucks his fingers into his mouth. You sit up and take your shirt off, along with your bra. Harry takes all of his clothes off and hovers over you.

He kisses you deeply while you line him up with yourself. He pushes in and you both groan. You felt like you had been fucking all day…probably because technically you had. Harry gives you a good thrust and the bed makes a sound against the wall. You both ignore it until it happens a few more times.

“Oh, you’ve got to be fuckin’ kidding me.” He sighs. “It’s too loud.” He looks at you.

“Floor.”

“What?”

“Fuck me on the floor, or push me up against the wall, or I don’t give a fuck.”

He pulls out of you and throws a blanket on the floor. He didn’t want to hurt your back. You lay down and tug him to the floor. He thrusts back inside of you.

“Are you comfortable like this? You could ride me instead…”

“No, actually, it’s fine.” You smile warmly. “It’s like when we were in that field in the countryside…” Harry’s cock twitches and he starts rocking in and out of you. “Ngh, I had never done anything like that before, it was so spontaneous.”

“We could have, fuck, easily just gone into the car too.” He plants wet kisses on your neck as you wrap your legs around him.

“But we were having such a nice picnic…”

“And you were wearing that light blue dress with the buttons down the front.” He kisses you and sucks your bottom lip into his mouth.

The hand not propping himself up kneads one of your breasts and you moan out.

“You got those buttons open so fast.”

“Yeah, I did.” He smirks. “You took it so well that day too, you really let me give it to you.” He gives you a sharp thrust and you bite into his shoulder.

“We could be as loud as we wanted that day.”

He sits up and throws your legs over his shoulders. Now he just wasn’t playing fair, but so could you. You knew how to be quiet, you knew how to turn it off. The only sound filling the room was his skin slapping against yours. You were making really intense eye contact. He was actually surprised at how cool your composure was. You grin at him deviously and clench around him.

“Jesus, shit.” He groans.

“Gotta be quiet baby.” You say mockingly.

He leans in and wraps his hand around your throat, you reach up and do the same to him. You were equally matched at the moment. You rock your hips along with his and you both just fucking lose it. Your orgasm floods over you and he fills you to the brim. He pulls out and sticks his middle finger right in. He pulls it from you and you open your mouth to suck on. Your eyes close as your tongue laps around it.

Harry helps you up off the floor and you both go do your nightly routines in the bathroom. You throw one of his t-shirts on, and get into bed with him. You both face each other and get your legs nice and tangled up. He rubs your back and pulls you closer to him. You kiss him and turn over so he can spoon you. You both fall asleep in minutes.

#take it slow #harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles fic #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff #harry styles fluff fic #harry styles smut fic #fluff #smut #another longish one!#beach day baby!!!

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