#houswives

[vodkacheesefries]

This is hyper specific but my sister is watching real housewives of SLC and the really angry exmo inside my brain is popping out but the ONLY REASON Lisa Barlow, who is on TV breaking every single rule in Mormonism to have ever existed, is allowed to continue being Mormon and hasn't been excommunicated like Heather Gay is because Lisa has money and they don't want to lose it

[darth-nikeon]

Zeus (to Hera 80% of the time): How dare you accuse me of something I actually did!

[fremdwortlexikon]

Oh no, they popped out again ...

[falllpoutboy]

cara and laurel have been arguing since 2011 LMFAOOO

[imbadatusernames666]

every time i watch the real housewives i become temporarily evil and get sucked into the vortex until suddenly i come to and a week has passed then i have to atone by rewatching the worst episodes of supernatural

[im-yn-suckers]

Hi! I saw your post about Enha with a Latina reader and I was wondering if you could do one with an American reader if possible? Thank you if you do!!

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ bf!enha x american!gf!reader ·͙̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩̥͙✩warnings; kissing, food, mention of thongs, very minor cursing. not proofread!!✩̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥̩̩͙‧͙ ⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊ mia says; oh em gee suys i posted !!american go crazyyy im american yall fr⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊

⁺₊heeseung

he loves going to basketball games with you. and like he WILL buy you tickets to go see the lakers

hes not the biggest fan of rollercoasters but hell go on one w u !!

you wear an "american aesthetic" outfit but its really js mary janes w frilly socks, a skirt n crop top (is pinterest stereotypical guy ??)

⁺₊jay

american gf and american bf>???? he will take you to cinnabon on dates while in seattle and would love going to new york to see the empire state building, going to florida for disney, dc, chicago, cali etc.

one time while in cali, you were eating in n out and you fell in love all over again bc hes just so pretty eating a burger in the car watching the sunrise.

'babe, since we're in chicago, wanna take the cta?? it might be fun'(had to inlcude my home) it WAS NOT. some crackhead got on the bus and started cursing

⁺₊jake

'are you patriotic' 'HELL YES I AM' with a custom made american flag w you on it (like the chaewon one)

'babe, these are thongs' 'THOSE ARE FLIP FLOPS JAKE' 'then whagts a thong??' 'um. what do aussies say?? oh!! bum floss' "THATS A THONG???' yes babe that what it is

will watch baseball games w u ^^ (pt1)

⁺₊sunghoon

listens to lana del ray w u

'jolly ranchers?? never had em" and will get a headache for eating five back to back

'wait targets are real??" yes baby boy, they are

⁺₊sunoo

apparently apple pie is american (??) so hed for sure love it !!

omg babe, please take im to baskin robbins please. and let him get mint choc ice cream

'tipping?? tf, no' he WILL roll his eyes. if you have seent hat one clip where him and jay were shopping somewhere, they bought smth and needed change. jay walked away w/o the change and sunoo waited ToT

⁺₊jungwon

'baby, look at that huge bird!!!' 'the bald eagle??' 'it doesnt look very bald to me :(' 'no wonnie, its called a bald eagle' 'but why, it has feathers??'

so apparently having cookouts is an american thing (?? pt2) and wonnie would have so much fun !!

'baby i want it!!!' 'an american girl doll??" "yea!!'' wonnie :(

⁺₊niki

watches baseball games w u (pt 2) and basketball games (pt 2) w matching jordans and jerseys. hed also buy lakers tickets ^^

will watch the real houswives of dallas bc why not

'are you patriotic' 'HELL YES I AM' with a custom made american flag w you on it part 83 never shuts up abt you bc he loves america (source:weverse)

[artofmissdemeanor]

Continuation of my fan cast for bad parents this time. Here is my concept though: Real Housewives edition. Why? A) I’m saving Jawbone for the Fantasy Teachers B) I love Izzy Rowland who is a known Housewives fan I would do anything to make her happy.

Hallariel Seacaster

Izzy of course! The drama, the shade, the wine she could bring to the role. How I believe that women Gilear so much, if she’d marry him he’d take her name and I don’t mean like her maiden name, mean Gilear is Mr. Hallariel SEACASTER now.

Sandra Lynn Faeth

Listen. Anjali Bhimani. It’s giving Fy’ra Mom Au. It’s giving Complicated Women Podcast. If there something that Anjali can do then it is a flawed and broken woman with a heart of hold.

Sklonda Gukgag

Laura Bailey my beloved. She has the range from little creatura to stone cold badass. She can do it all.

Wilma Thistlespring

If you want the bad parents polycule to be started you need the non-binary menace that isErika Ishii to do it.you need the one who made it a mission to fictionally kiss everyone on critical role. Also I’d believe she had so much fun in this role.

Gilear

Gilear is the housewife of Hallariel as is Brennan to Izzy.

But who is the Dm?

Aabria as DM

Just because I love her and she would go so extra with a Houswives Campaign… And I love her.

[theehorsepusssy]

Is it a Hominy Korrine?

Is it one of the Real Houswives?

Is it Saturday Night Live skit?

Why is it stuck in my head?

[anawkwardlady]

Saw discourse about Desperate Houswives and was ranting about it until it hit me that I apparently always had smth going on with abusive moms.........

[the---hermit]

We Are The Champions by Tuono Pettinato and Dario Moccia

Oh boi this will be more of a rant than a review I feel. I read two books by Tuono Pettinato, One is a graphic biography on Alan Turing, which I reviewed here last year, I think? and the other one is a graphic biography about Kurt Cobain (which I haven't read in ages but I remember really loving back in the day). So when I found out about a graphic biography about Freddie Mercury, one of my heros since I was a kid with a father obsessed with Queen, I had to have it. This book has been on my wishlist for ages, and now that I spent money on it and actually read it I wish it was still on my wishlist. I am very mad at this book and so my review is not going to be impartial at all. I don't like comparing books with one another but it's inevitable, the other books by this illustrator felt honest and emotional, and this one just fell flat. There was absolutely no emotion ever. The authors decided to use a lot of self insert scenes of them explaining stuff which in my opinion was unnecessary and broked a lot of the narration, but that's a personal preference. As for the story it feels like these two men just collected in a book all the infos band fans get randomly in their lives of fans of whatever band they are passionate about. There is no bibliography at the back of the book, which makes me think this was the case actually? From whatever kid of biography I expect a bibliography and some kind of actual research to be made. The major thing that has made me very mad is the fact that they speak of Freddie as a gay man instead of the bisexual man he was. And this enrages me personally because for years I thought Freddie was gay, since everyone around me said that, and only a lot time after I found out my hero was actually bisexual, just like me, and that changed a lot of things. A book published in 2016 should have payed attenton to such a detail. And on the queer topics all songs that have a very queer message are glossed over as songs with totally different meaning (no mention of Bohemian Rapsody being a sort of coming to terms with your sexiality and coming out, Bicycle is said to only be inspired by the tour de France, and I Want To Break Free is just about frustrated houswives apparently). I fully understand that if you are not queer you might miss some of the subtext of songs, but if you are writing a biography about someone you might want to do some deeper research into it. With this being said it was a disappointing book, my expectations weren't met and there's not much else to say about it.

[mintcaboodle]

i think you could rip dialogue from a Real Houswives quarrel episode and replace the names with the wwdits vampires and you'd have an episode. thats probably how they do it actually. honestly.

[betmyfortune]

this has swiftly turned from 'haha funny egg rp' to 'the real houswives of Atlanta'

[xoglitterbomb]

Coffee and Real Houswives of New Jersey.

Good Morning <3

[somewhatsentientspellbook]

I am side-eyeing my Real Houswives of Exandria castlist SO FUCKING HARD RN

Deni$e my beloved give me what I crave

[rotationalsymmetry]

Mm. Read something about the ethics of what gets depicted in media, and it's not the worst take ever but I think it's still a little off. Or at least, it's not really how I see things.

My basic perspective is exposure to ideas is always good, and the answer to exposure to bad ideas is exposure to better ideas.

(Maybe not for very young children, I don't know, maybe three year olds are more likely to punch someone if they see a movie with someone punching someone, I don't know enough about early childhood development etc. I will concede that if young children hear slurs, they will probably repeat those slurs.)

By the time someone is a teenager, and certainly when they're an adult, exposure to sex stuff in general or weird sex stuff is not going to be harmful if they have the ability to avoid it if it's too much for them. Plus a lot of times teens find a way to look at porn whether they are allowed to or not. The answer to degrading porn or porn where strangers fuck without condoms or whatever isn't making sure impressionable young people never see it. It's the same thing as the answer to Disney romances where the heroine marries the prince immediately after meeting him, you expose people to other narratives and other information. Safer sex information. Ideas about getting to know someone for a while before marrying them. Ideas about consent.

I personally have a grudge against It's Cold Outside, for personal reasons that I've gotten into previously, but I don't think people literally rape other people because of a song. If someone gets exposed to a lot of ideas about how it's normal for women to say they don't want sex when they do want sex, and/or ideas that women never want sex and it only ever happens by men tricking or forcing women into it, but also gets exposed to a lot of ideas about consent being important and sexual violence being harmful and direct communication and what women want out of sex when they do want it and what gives them reservations when they kinda want it but aren't sure -- chances are that person is going to end up OK.

Just like how, for instance, someone might get exposed to "Indians" in the most stereotypical way possible in stories like Peter Pan and horribly sanitized Thanksgiving stories, and grow up to support Land Back after getting exposed to enough other concepts. And lot of other people might not get quite to Land Back but will at least know better than to dress up as an "Indian" for Halloween. It's not about 100% avoiding the shitty ideas and the harmful stereotypes, it's having something to counter them.

I kinda liked older stories growing up, and a lot of the older stories had stereotypical gender stuff, with girls aspiring to be mothers over any professional ambitions and whatnot, and that was never really going to have that much of an effect on me because I lived in a world where all the mothers I knew also worked. And all the adults who asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up assumed I was going to work. It wasn't even necessarily a feminism thing, it was just how the world was. Houswives weren't real in an immediate way that was relevant to my life any more than kings and knights were.

And here is another concept. What is in your control, what is not in your control. What a stranger writes: not in your control. What you write, what you read, what you recommend: in your control. When it's professional media, what you spend money on directly or indirectly (paying for a streaming service and watching a show, checking out a book from a library) is in your control, what other people spend money on is not.

I do not have the power to stop everybody in the world from buying Harry Potter stuff. I just don't. So once I stop spending money on Harry Potter stuff myself, that's pretty much the end of the line for me as far as what I can reasonably do about JKR's horrible transmisogyny and whatever term you'll tolerate to describe when people descrive adult trans men as "girls" and argue that they shouldn't be able to decide what to do with their own bodies. I can talk about it with people who aren't already thoroughly saturated in understanding the problem. And that's it. That's all. Done. Trying to go harder is not going to do much. Sometimes it doesn't actually matter how substantial the problem is, there's still limits to what one person can reasonably do about it. And I hate that tumblr has a much stronger culture of tearing down the people we hate than lifting up the people we love.

[sleepingmire]

Omg Hiiii! Thank you for answering!!!!!

(I'm sliding back in your dms for some best girl Jules content)

do you have some writing or some art for her planned? ( i swear i saw a fic about her and tyr on ao3)

Also what are her relationship with characters like Freya, Sindri, Thor etc?

YOOOOO!! best anon in the world hello omg !! dude feel free to slide in anytime – these asks give me life ngl

HNGNG there was a fic that I wrote and I did keep posted for a while. It was called ‘No Light No Light’ after the f+tm song (it’s very jules and tyr coded, especially their early marriage and also it’s just a banger song in general). But I don’t know, I wrote it while I was stuck in a really bad writing rut, to try and kick myself out of it? And tbh I kinda hated it so I took it down :”))) Although, I was thinking about rewriting it/continuing it! It follows how Jules and Tyr met, and like the relationship between the Aesir and the Olympians? Which I feel like could be interesting.

As for upcoming fics and art!! Hmm.. I am currently working on a COD fic that i'm really excited about, so it'll probably be a little while before I get any jules fics out -- altho i guess it depends on what you wanna see?? But in terms of art, my uni term has just ended so im finally having time to get back into it! I want to draw her again because by the gods i miss her :')) she is so lovely to me

Okay so this is going to be a pretty long one, so the rest is under the cut.

OHOHOH cracks knuckles let me tell you

______

Heimdall -- he was a little boy when Jules and Tyr just got married, and since his mother wasn't in the picture, she def mothered him alot. Doted on him, calling him her 'little magpie' because he liked her jewellery. Although, as he grew up Odin obvs wanted him to be a certain way, and esp with Odin and tyr's disagreements, jules and tyr would spend time away form the aesir gods. This created some mad issues between her and heimdall as he grew up, especially as he started being alot like Odin/the heimdall we know, he could see with his powers that in her mind she was starting to dislike the person he was becoming. But even to this day, she still viewed him as her boy, and it was actually her unconditional love/trust that got her captured !

(for some backstory, tyr was captured and imprisioned by Odin. And Odin, being actually kind of a smart dude even if he is a pos, is like ?? ayo?? Hmm maybe let's not let his Olympian (scary strong) wife who very much loves him be running around on the loose, especially is she thinks i killed him. So what if we capture her?? ((he didnt want to kill her because u know how when Olympians die it like, wreaks havoc??)) and so he basically send heimdall to be like, 'hey!! im so sorry about being distant but tyr is this way come on!' and lead to Odin, who was disguised as tyr, and when she jumped into his arms he like, put magic cuffs/collar thing that makes her not be able to use her magic? and imprisoned her somewhere in musphelheim (hot hot place for hot hot lady who, if she died or escaped, couldn't use her powered to melt/destroy shit)

After she gets out, she misses/hurts/greives him but also like, understands that he was kind of a shit person, even if it wasn’t entirely his fault.

*

Sif -- Slay besties for real. Espeically once she settled in, I feel like she'd easily fall into pace beside sif, espeically since (at that time) neither of them had kids. Very much like, real houswives of the Aesir kinda energy except they are all judging everyone else together. I feel like they'd both be pretty interested in like, each other's country's versions of femininty? Like, how sif is the embodiment of being a woman in norse and Aphrdoite (jules) is also like, peak feminitny (kinda) in greek mythos.

After ragnarok I think her and jules would be working together to rebuild, and she would be hella empathetic? Especially since for the last like century or whatever she believed her own husband (who she loved dearly) to be dead. And like, thor while a pos dad and an asshole, sif loved him?? And he loved her?? And they really did try?? Idk I feel like jules would help take care of her because she knows what that’s like.

*

Thor -- at least in these games, seems very women respect-y. I feel like he'd respect her and almost kind of admire her/like her more than his brother? Tyr is a little bit uppity (at least from thors perspective) and jules is a bit more >:)) commit crimes and cause problems on purpose. In saying that though, I feel like they'd probably never be too close and mainly would spend time together because of Tyr/Sif.

*

Freya -- her and freya used to be besties, they both kinda knew what it was like to be the outsider (?) wife from a different place. But both freya and jules are both super stubborn/bull headed, and esp when it came down to baulder. That's when freya said something to her (to be fair, in freya's defence jules was probably way overstepping even if it came from a place of care/kind of what happened between herself and heimdal) she held a grudge in typical olympian fashion.

*

Sindri/Brok -- I think that maybe she didn't interact with them too much? I'd like to thing though that maybe her and Sindri got along better than say, her and brok. I imagine that maybe one time she helped them forge something using her sunpowers, like a cool weapon or something maybe as a gift for tyr. Otherwise, they are on good terms. Also, I think especially due to the fact that like, craftsman ship was a very admired/masculine thing in greek life, maybe she'd have a bit of admiration for their craft?/the dwarves in general. Appreciating the fact that while they make very good weapons/structures/devices etc, they also make them beautiful.

_____

Hmm... I'm trying to think of some other people that she interacted with. OH HAHA there's a running joke in my friend group where like, Freyr is Jule's and Tyr's third (mainly because I think he's handsome but whatever) And i feel like, especially as jules has no real internal fealty to the Aesir apart from Tyr, who himself is always kinda teetering on a blades edge, she tends to appreciate/befriend people even outside of their 'allies' kinda thing. (This wily willful nature maybe also pissed Odin off, who was expecting like, maybe someone like Harmonia)

Also here are some bonus teehees and bits about tyr n jules specifically because they are little running jokes and make me teehee a bit:

Tyr, early on in their marriage when things were still a bit shaky between them and jules was taking out her frustrations/fear on him, he tried to take her to Vanaheim as a cute little like, date thing? also to get her out of Asgard. Anyway, him being a dork nerd was like 'BY MY BEARD, JULIUS!! look at these wonderful specime--' and then the flower like, exploded colour all over her dress, staining it and she was HELLA pissed. And then, a few days later he tried to buy her a bouquet of vanaheim flowers as an apology, and they were also. pollen staining ones. Let's just say he slept on the couch for a few days after that.  Now everytime they go to Vanaheim together she treats him like a child at a grocery store -- hands INSIDE the trolley, look with your eyes not your hands, PUT THAT DOWN!! YOURE NOT GETTING THAT put it back !

ALSO ! theres a running joke that Tyr has like, water-proof journals (so his tears dont make the ink run) he writes into like a tween girl everytime jules is 'mean' to him. 'dear diary, today my beloved light-of-my-life jules called me a dork and said that the french toast i made her was 'alright'. I will never recover.' followed by a page of poetry about how his beloved has betrayed him.

He feeds her well is all im saying. Mans can cook and shes sitting on the bench holding the bowl.

also jules funfact of the ask -- her name is Julius (roman/latin)/jules because its cute, but like her greek name is ιουλος (ioulos). I mainly chose the name jules despite it being hella inaccurate because 1) it's cute as hell and the nickname is cute and 2) idc that it's inaccurate, she's not real and plus it's my meow meow oc and i get to make the rules... also i dont really love alot of male greek names :')) (She was born a boy! And probably aligns more with genderfluid but mainly fem lady girlboss, she's a shapechanger becuase hmmm Aphrodite powers and also i said so)

Anyway im gonna end this up with a Spotify link to her playlist because !! I listened to it almost exclusively for like, 8 months so yeah. Love that gal.

thank you best anon in the world for letting my ramble abt my baby girl for 1.5k