#house md quotes

[realbeefman]

yall remember that episode of house where wilson is sad bc he cant have kids (not infertile just gay) and so house calls him a fruit then pays a child actor to pretend to be wilsons kid and then when the jig is up wilsons like “wow thank god i dont have a kid i cant father two of you at once” and then house says “so true daddy” and then they make pizza together and house is all “i want MEAT on mine daddy 😳😤” and then wilson is like “no 😼 you’re gonna have some EGGPLANT 🍆🥴😫😛” and then

[catxart]

Regulus: you like that she has no regard for consequences. you like that she can humiliate someone if it serves…

Regulus: omg…

James: …

Regulus: you’re sleeping with me

[purrassicjet]

"and yet, something's missing."

"I'm short, he's black, you're gay-ish"

"That's it"

[ineedfairypee]

I have to be the weirdest friend of my friends for some reason

[kittycatcarla]

A gay patient talking about Chase: "He's too pretty to be straight."

Chase: "Does anyone actually fall for that line?"

[wilson-the-gay-oncologist]

I will steal your RP buddies, tell me some quotes are their mine

Never say no

I've given one to all of them as well

Umm, my RP buddies? How many quotes!?!?!

Limping Twerp

Dyings Easy Livings Hard

Bros before Hoes

I need you

I love you

Your an idiot

Everybody Lies

Cest la vie and I use this because you're an ass

It's never lupus/ It's not lupus

I have cancer, House

We'll do it at my place

50$ bucks! pay up pay up

-Do you wanna bet? I have plenty more-

Life's not fair

We're a couple

You manipulative bitch

The bitch, but she's a bitch!

You're a jerk.

You're sleeping with me.

If no one hates you your doing something wrong

Who are you calling?

I'M NOT ON ANTIDEPRESSANTS I'M ON SPEED

by the way, did anyone else get one of these???

[hyacinthoides-x-massartiana]

"house i need to make out with you sloppily" james teamrocket

[housenp]

on house and wilson

[housemdenjoyer]

differential diagnosis for ejaculation. GO

[dailyhouse]

dr james wilson - house 2004-2012

[realbeefman]

i need to inject whatever they put into the shot composition of this show directly into my heart

[ineffablesheets]

[housemdfever]

House MD text posts except I'm running out of titles

13 and Chase are literally just House's kids atp

[greghatecrimes]

this is definitely how it happened in canon

[ickachris]

more of Wilson’s House puppet

[kittycatcarla]

Wilson: "If you want her back, either tell her or, better yet, shut up ans cry yourself to sleep like everybody else"