#house <- the better ship name don't @ me

[nicothedingus]

wallmark/mallter/house stimboard. yep. yeucc if you see this i am so sorry. also sorry if the stims seem kinda random in this one but i REALLY wanted to use the middle finger one since they canonically hate each other. they are an old married couple that argue over stupid shit to me credits x | x | x x | x | x x | x | x

[ashen-char]

i say that i hate you with a smile on my face 🔞

ship: amber freeman (scream) x gender neutral reader

warnings: explicit smut so minors get out. hate sex, sex while driving

summary: amber is furious after seeing you with another girl at a party. the only way to deal with her jealousy is to fuck it out of her.

word count: 2700+

By the time the party ends, it's almost 3am. Early hours have always felt so strange to you, so mysterious that liminal time past midnight and before the sun rises. Everything feels slower. Less alive, almost. There aren't any other cars on the street, aren't any lights on in the houses you pass as you make your way back to Amber's.

The radio is off and the streets are quiet. You almost wish that Amber would go right back to yelling at you because at least it wouldn't be this mind-numbing silence. You're so tense, shoulders stiff and defensive, your grip a vice on the wheel.

You had danced with another girl, sure.

Chad had introduced you to some new girl that Liv had befriended and told to come. You can't even remember what her name was. When Liv got roped into a night shift and couldn't go, she'd told her friend to stick to a familiar face.

Really, you think that Chad just wanted to ditch her on you so that Liv wouldn't tear him a new one for leaving her friend while he got wasted. You owed Chad a solid for helping you score a reservation at some fancy restaurant for you and Amber's anniversary after you forgot it, and you didn't see the harm. That was your first mistake.

Amber's expression is unreadable, her grip white-knuckled on her knee as she stares out the window of your car. Speaking first would feel like you lost—you still don't think you did anything wrong, feel that Amber's reaction went way too far. And you're stubborn. But Amber is even more so. And your relationship is more valuable than winning... whatever this is, so

"I didn't do anything," you say for what feels like the hundredth time that night.

"You hear how you sound right now?" Amber snarls, her own shoulders tensing up. "That's what everyone says when they're caught. I didn't do anything," she imitates your voice in a whine.

Mocking you? How mature.

Letting go of her knee, Amber folds her arms over her chest, looking away from you again. You can see her roll her eyes and scoff a “whatever” under her breath.

You grit your teeth. Possible responses whir through your brain—a joke, an apology, something to diffuse the situation. You know what you should do, know that Amber’s only jealous because she’s desperate for reassurance from you. But God is it exhausting navigating Amber's complex emotions when she doesn't even care if she hurts yours.

Tonight was supposed to be fun for fuck’s sake. You were supposed to go to a party and have a blast, not get into another stupid argument.

Amber hasn't apologised a single time since you two started dating. She hasn't once promised she'd be better like you always do for her. She had yelled at you the second you two left the party, fighting from the porch all the way to the car. She wouldn’t hear you out even once as you were vehemently denying her accusations. You truly believe that you shouldn’t be the one to apologise. Not this time.

So this time, you don't do that. Your hand reaches out, sliding over to the passenger seat until you're grazing Amber's thigh. "What did you think you saw me do, huh?" you say.

“What are you—"

"You think I touched her?" Your fingers trail their way up. The fabric of her leggings is thin, so you can feel the heat of Amber’s skin as you caress her inner thigh. It’s a tease, a war of nerves, wondering when the other will give in. "Like this?"

Amber's still worked up, blood still pumping; the adrenaline from the argument is rushing through her veins. But you know that no matter how pissed off she is at you, there’s no way she’d push you away. You swear she actually moves closer.

“You would,” Amber challenges. “You know, if I knew you were gonna be another unfaithful piece of shit, I wouldn’t have agreed to go out with you.”

You can tell from her tone that she’s trying to rile you up on purpose. Like she’s enjoying getting under your skin. She wants you as heated as she is so it becomes a level playing field. Amber does this whenever you two have a fight, like she's just waiting for you to blow up at her so you feel as insane as she does about you. You know it's all coming from the same place as the jealousy does. She feels so fucking much about you that she's begging for more. Needs retribution so bad. Needs to feel something.

"Sometimes I swear you start fights out of nowhere on purpose," you say. On her upper inner thigh now, your hand squeezes, almost hard enough to bruise. Your thumb runs up down, up down, never quite getting close enough to where she wants it. "Because you like when I touch you while you pretend to hate my guts."

"You're an idiot. Why would I want you to touch me?" Amber clenches her thighs, holding your hand in place, preventing it from slipping back down. You can hear how her breathing gets laboured. She's too stubborn to admit that she wants you to keep going, but you both know it. She can't help the mix of hatred and lust that fuels her veins right now. "I do hate you. I hate you so goddamn much."

A red light. You breathe out in relief.

Finally, your attention doesn't need to be split between the road and this argument. You can see the smile on her face as she swears that she hates you. Good. That wild look in her eyes tells you that you can be more aggressive with her. Amber loves that. 

Your hand slips up right where she wants it, until you're cupping at her center. Only a thin scrap of fabric separate your fingers from the cunt you love so much. You could do it. You could tear through her leggings and fuck the shit out of her. Amber's legs part for you and you swear you hear her whimper.

"What would you do if I did flirt with her, huh?" you say. "Would you break up with me?"

"Fuck you," she spits, though with her shortness of breath it sounds more like a plead. "I bet you wanted to get her to some spare room. You're desperate enough. Were you hoping to get your fingers wet with some other bitch even when you went there with your girlfriend?"

Her mouth is so filthy. You should do something about that. Amber shouldn't be allowed to talk right now. "What's your fucking problem? I was with you all night!"

God, this is fun. Amber's grinning and her eyes shine, the golden light coming in from the streetlights and making everything glow. You squeeze. The meat of your palm is grinding up against her clit but it isn't enough. Not with all that clothing between you. She moans, clenching her legs once more, needing more pressure there.

"You're my problem!" Amber shrieks.

Fuck.

The second you're about to leap in and devour Amber in a kiss, the light you're stopped at turns green. The car behind you honks and you're forced to turn your attention back to the road. Amber lets out a frustrated groan at that, that stupid honking throwing the moment entirely.

"You know what, screw this," she says. You hear Amber unclick her seatbelt, and before you can tell her to strap back in she grabs your hand.

"What are you—" You barely get the words out before your hand is shoved down into her leggings.

Amber's soaked. She's as sticky and warm as the last time you touched her, and you know just how good she'd taste right now too. It isn't your dominant hand—that one is busy on the wheel—so you actually haven't touched her with this one before. It's unfamiliar territory and the same all at once. She pushes her panties to the side with her own hand but it'll be yours that she makes do all the work.

"Shut up. I need this." A low guttural sound escapes her lips as she finally, finally feels your hand where she wants it. Her head tilts back and you feel her thighs squeeze at that first sharp sensation of pleasure. "Shut your mouth and drive," she practically hisses.

You have to focus on the road. The guy behind you is already pissed from how slow you were to keep driving after the green light, and how Amber had given him the middle finger. He's driving so close behind you know that a single slip up could mean a crash. You're so fucked. Especially your fingers, which Amber is sliding her slit up and down on, collecting her wetness with a satisfying shlick.

"Amber," you try to warn. As hot as this is, you do not want to get into an accident because your girlfriend was just so horny during a fight.

Her mouth hangs open in pleasure as she rubs her clit against your palm. It's so much better when you can feel her. You wish you could turn to look. But you can feel Amber's eyes on you, probably still glaring at you with the same hateful glare she had earlier.

"She wouldn't be this wet for you," she tells you.

The girl at the party could not be further from your mind right now. "I don't give a shit about her," you admit. "God, you're so wet, baby." You can feel your own excitement between your legs, can see how your windows are starting to fog up as both of your breaths heat the air.

She lets out a moan, closing her eyes and tilting her head back. "That's right. Because you're mine." Her nails dig into the flesh of your forearm, a threat to scratch you up if you so much as attempt to move away. 

Your fingers slip inside. Two at once. Amber normally likes to play the long game and build up to more, letting you tease her with one sliding in and out until she screams at you for more. But the thrill of the danger and anger and jealousy is getting to both of you. Her hips grind and wind as she rides your fingers, while your other hand desperately grips onto the wheel as you will yourself to concentrate on the road.

"Say it," Amber breathes out. "You're only mine."

A part of you thinks that'd be no fun. "You should've trusted me," you say instead. It's so much more fun when she's seething. It's like her anger is heating up her insides. She feels different. You curve your fingers inside her and she cries out.

"Fuck!"

"Yeah? You loving my fingers in your pussy?" You wriggle the two until you're pressing at the spot that always drives Amber crazy. But it's clumsy. You never use this hand and eventually it'll cramp up and get tired. You know you're doing your job well when she digs her nails in even harder and her hips thrust. Neither of you give a shit when the car behind you honks and overtakes you.

She's too wound up right now, too far gone. Her mouth twists into a vicious smile that you can't see, but you can hear it in her voice. "Y-you wish," Amber struggles out. "You think you're so good. I'm using you here, not the other way around."

She rides your fingers like that for a few minutes. As you had suspected, the lack of practice means that your forearm is already getting tired. As hot as this is, you can't pump as easily as you could if you were on a bed, not worrying about driving. You can tell that Amber is getting frustrated. Maybe that's making it better.

Everything is a blur of rage and lust until you realise you've driven right past her house. Whatever. You're dying to stop the goddamn car and set Amber right. You slam the brakes now that there's no car behind you to hit, sending the car lurching to a stop. Your fingers slide deeper into her cunt with the movement and it makes her scream.

You pull into a residential side street, one even quieter than the rest. Finding a spot to turn off the engine and throw the car into park is easy enough when your brain is putting I need to fuck her right now over safety.

The second that ignition goes off, Amber is already on you. You slip your tired hand away, the other going to her leggings and slipping them off. Her expression is still twisted in that rage that never quite goes away—she hates you, she hates you, she hates you—but she loves you so much when you shove three fingers into her.

You feel her tongue invading your mouth, probing and searching, while her hands continue to grip and claw at your clothes. It's like she's trying to claim you; she wants to take away all evidence of you being your own person, to take away your control.

"Is this what you wanted?" Amber whispers against your mouth. "Why do you make me feel like? You want to see me like this? Huh?"

It's reckless and out of control and perfect. You don't even care that any second you could get caught. You could lose yourself in this moment, in this golden haze that illuminates your fogged up windshield. The car's starting to sway with your movements.

"How do I make you feel, baby?" Her pussy feels so good as you surge your fingers in deeper. "Tell me."

"Like I'm going crazy," she whispers, her voice breaking a little with emotion. It's too much. It was too much then at the party, when she saw you dancing with some other girl, too much when you started touching her. 

Everything about what you're doing to her is bringing Amber closer and closer to that point of no return. "Like you're making me crave you." Her hips rock against you again, her breasts soft as they rub against you too.

This is Amber making you feel the way you make her feel. When you dance with other girls, when you don't text back for hours, when you forget your anniversary. Every time you brushed off an insult and didn't let a fight escalate, this is what she wanted. How pent up she must have been, swallowing down the rage and accepting your apologies.

Amber whines when your thumb grazes against her clit. Every bit of her feels like it's tingling and she's practically soaking your lap at this point. "I hate you but I can't live without you." Amber sounds like she's on the verge of tears. "It scares and excites me at the same time. I—I've never cared this much."

You keep pumping right back into her, never stopping, only growing more and more intense. Her body trembles but you're holding her. Amber's hands grasp at your forearm again, like she can't decide whether to push you away or pull you in. You don't know what to say. She was enjoying the fight earlier, instigated it even, but she's so vulnerable now.

"You're the only one I want," is what you end up settling on. Your thumb stops those teasing grazes now, rubbing against her clit proper. Her wetness makes it so easy. "And I am yours."

This is what makes Amber shudder and dissolve in your arms. The tension finally breaks and she starts squirming against you, fingers lodged so deep into her body it's like you're grazing at something deeper, body shaking violently. She's so close, so impossibly close, a moment of pure ecstasy that lasts seconds before falling apart in a burst of heat and pleasure.

"You're mine!" This she shouts so loud you'd be surprised if the entire neighbourhood didn't wake up.

You two fall silent for a moment, both taking slow, shuddering breaths. Amber can feel her brain is still short circuiting, trying to calm down; it's like her stomach has been replaced with a ball of fire.

"Still hate me?" you whisper, leaning in to kiss Amber.

"Just shut up, okay," she murmurs, kissing back happily now, her voice still raw from the edge of tears and the intense orgasm that had wracked her body. "Don't ever do that again."

[sirfrogsworth]

Early voting to beat the lines... the best-laid schemes of mice and men often go awry.

So... yesterday was quite the day.

After being stuck in bed for the past 6 weeks with some mystery slump, I was finally feeling better. So I decided I would try to cram as many errands into my day as possible. That works better for me when I drive out into the world because I end up only having to do one big recovery instead of a bunch of little recoveries.

My to-do list...

Go to the doctor

Vote early

Return oxygen machine to FedEx store for scammy eBay guy

Return Amazon package to the UPS store

Get gasoline for my whip

Go to Discount Tire to get my tires filled for free

Drop a check off for my lawn guy

Mail a secret package to Katrina at the US Post Office

It would have been nice if I could have gone to just one shipping place instead of all three, but the universe has a sense of humor and likes to do shit like that to me on a regular basis.

So, I get my checkup, it goes quick, no long wait, I'm feeling good.

As I get in my car, it starts to rain. It was an ugly day and it actually has not stopped raining to this very moment a day later. Just gray, windy, chilly, and wet. I look up the voting place and start the GPS.

Wipers and music on full blast, it's time to get my vote on.

When I reach my destination, I realize early voting is at some kind of private golf club. And at the center is a recreation center—which is a public building.

So it's like this private/public turducken situation.

I was expecting this errand to take 20 minutes. Because early voting always seemed like a way to get in before the crowds of election day for a more convenient voting experience.

But the parking lot was packed and I feared my expectations were about to be subverted.

As I walk through the parking lot I see a bunch of signs in the ground.

And a particular one caught my eye.

This is bullshit.

Like, just a straight up lie. No truth to it whatsoever.

Amendment 3 in Missouri basically restores abortion rights in the state. And Republicans have taken issue with the following language...

"The Government shall not deny or infringe upon a person's fundamental right to reproductive freedom, which is the right to make and carry out decisions about all matters relating to reproductive health care, including but not limited to prenatal care, childbirth, postpartum care, birth control, abortion care, miscarriage care, and respectful birthing conditions."

They claim the phrasing "but not limited to" means you can give an 8-year-old kid "sex change surgery."

This is how their online flyer puts it...

It could also include a free puppy.

Or a zillion bucks.

Or a clown will come to your house after the abortion and honk your nose.

It's ridiculous and desperate. I honestly don't know how it is legal for them to put a lie like that outside of a polling location, but here we are.

The organization "Missouri Stands with Women" is run by... a man.

It was set up by a lawyer named "Edward Greim" on behalf of the Federalist Society.

His law firm has a lovely biography about him. And a bunch of publicly available contact information. I say that for no reason whatsoever.

The Federalist Society funds all kinds of shit like this. Their main thing is installing conservative judges all over the country who will reinterpret or negate legislation. And they do it all to "stand with women" by taking away their reproductive rights.

Here is the board of directors of the Federalist Society.

Ya know, before I looked this up, I said to myself, "I bet it's going to be a sausage fest." I am psychic.

I think it would be more accurate to say they stand with A woman.

Just one.

And she sucks.

Nicole is a law professor at Notre Dame. She chose her Catholicism over her right to choose. The Catholic Church will fuck your rights and your children and Nicole will help them do it.

Anyway... back to my quick and easy voting experience...

So as I'm walking in to vote I keep passing a ton of these awful signs. I notice an older woman standing next to the aforementioned "child sex change" sign and she says, "Can I talk to you about Amendment 3?"

At this point, I'm pretty angry. I look her dead in the eyes and say with my most assholish tone, "NO." as I walk past her.

And then she finishes her sentence...

"...to protect the reproductive rights of women."

Ah, dammit.

I thought she was an old Karen but she was cool as heck. Standing out in the rain telling people the sign is bullshit. I wanted to turn around and apologize but I was stuck in full social anxiety mode so I just kept walking.

If that old lady happens to have a Tumblr and follows me and is willing to read this giant story... I just want to say I am sorry. I thought you were awful and I should have let you finish your sentence. You're super cool and I'm happy there are folks like you fighting for what is right.

I get inside and a young woman greets me. She tells me the line is in the next room and points. I still wasn't quite sure what the situation was. The parking lot being full gave me pause, but I was still hopeful I could have a swift early voting experience.

But I walk through the doors and into a huge gymnasium and my heart sinks.

It's hard to represent in pictures how long this line is.

It goes all the way to the end of the gym, loops around, and comes back. At first I was not too discouraged, because there was a nice gentle ramp at the start of the line.

But then I notice several sets of stairs at different stages of the line. And I'm just thinking how hard it would be to stand in this line and then also having to go up and down several sets of stairs.

So I go back to the young woman working there and ask what their accessible voting options are. And she told me I could do curbside voting and points outside. I then notice a line of cars wrapped around the parking lot. I don't know how I didn't see them walking in, but I guess I was too busy being a jerk to elderly progressive women.

My biggest concern was time.

The longer this takes, the more energy I use up, the longer my eventual recovery will be.

They tell me the car option is the slowest. And I could be in line for 2 to 3 hours. And then an old man who seemed to be in charge walks over and tells me the fastest option is to stand in line.

So I walk back out to my car and grab my cane and decide to try the long serpentine gynasium line.

I start walking up the ramp and some of the other folks see how slow and labored I'm walking and they start encouraging me. "You can do it! You got this!" Which I suppose was meant to be a positive helpful thing. But I found it to be embarrassing.

I get to the end of the line and notice most of the line has bleachers directly next to it. So I decide to sit down and rest and figure out how I am going to survive this experience.

It took me a while to recover from the long walk to this spot. I watched a bunch of people pass me by and the line was actually getting much longer as I rested. I was not really sure what to do. I was trying to problem-solve this situation but the answer that kept popping up in my mind was just... "go home."

But I felt this was too important and that wasn't really an option.

My best idea was to ask someone if they would hold my spot in line. Perhaps I could just sit in the bleachers and follow them around in the line, staying as close to them as I could. But my social anxiety was set to maximum and I was not finding the courage to ask someone.

After about 10 minutes of sitting, resting, and thinking, I basically say, "Fuck it, I'll try to stand in line."

I get up and start walking to the end of the line.

Then I hear a voice yell out to me.

"Hey, man! Come over here! This is your spot!"

A young man was waving at me. He was accompanied by his wife. Both of them were dressed in black and they had a sort of goth skater aesthetic going on. He had a competitively bushy beard, but with less gray. And she had very vivid purple hair.

I was a little confused and still processing what was happening. Then they both started waving at me to join them in line. They remembered I got there just before and told me I should be in front of them. I walk over and thank them. Then he suggests...

"Hey, why don't you just sit in the bleachers and follow us around the line."

He suggested my idea!

Without me asking!

I felt like he read my mind or something.

Can bearded people read each others' minds? Was this some beard skill I was unaware of?

"I got you, man. You just sit and we'll keep your place."

And his violet hair'd significant other agreed. "Yeah, we got you."

The kindness of strangers was more accessible than my polling place and I was just so thankful in that moment.

So I sat in the bleachers and watched them traverse the line. In the middle of the gym there were some teenagers playing basketball. And so I just rested and watched them play.

That young man in the red pants was like a goddamn Harlem Globetrotter. He was just embarrassing the others. He was bouncing the ball behind his back and through his legs and then he just danced around his opponents like a figure skater. It was such an unbalanced matchup. He might as well have been playing 4th graders. Not only was he significantly faster and more maneuverable, but he was consistently hitting 3-pointers.

And then during a break, he ran towards the hoop, jumped from the free throw line, flew all the way to the net, grabbed onto the rim, and proceeded to do several pull ups as if they were the easiest thing in the world. I don't think I've seen anyone jump that far and that high in real life and it was just a bonkers display of athleticism.

I spent the entire wait watching him humiliate the others—hoping he would get a full ride scholarship to some prestigious university.

And I hoped the other boys paid attention in school and got straight As, because basketball was not going to work out for them.

As my new goth skater friends progressed through the line, I would make sure to keep sight of them. Every once in a while I'd give them a head nod to acknowledge we were in this together. After an hour and a half they were at the final segment of the line, so I sat next to the wheelchair folks.

I probably could have argued to sit with them in the first place. But I really did not feel like making the case that I was just as disabled as them and needed that level of consideration. The old man running things seemed quite stressed and was putting out 8 fires at once. And my anxiety wasn't really cooperating enough to be assertive in my needs.

But it worked out in the end, so I'm not going to dwell on the lack of accommodation for people who weren't *visually* disabled.

My new bearded friend neared the end and waved me over. I thanked him and his wife profusely.

I joked, "Thank you for adopting a voter."

They seemed confused by my joke.

"No problem, man. Happy to help."

I told him and his wife they truly saved me. "I honestly don't think I would have made it through the line." And then I looked back...

I said, "As crazy as this is, I do find this kind of turnout encouraging." His wife agreed and said, "We were saying the same thing!" And then I thought, "Can the wives of bearded people absorb the mind reading ability? I hope she can't read my mind right now. Although, I'm mostly thinking that her hair is a really cool shade of purple, so she'd probably find that complimentary."

As I waited to get my ballot I could hear the happy couple behind me. They were very cute. They were making fun of each other in a very lovey-dovey fashion. I had high hopes they were going to grow old and gray and purple together based on their chemistry. And I was just so thankful they were able to recognize that I needed help without me asking. Because I probably would have just caved to my anxiety and not asked for help otherwise.

I got my ballot and sat down to fill in all of the appropriate squares. Thankfully I had prepared a cheat sheet on my phone.

It was an exact replica so I was able to copy it and finish quite rapidly.

Then I fed my votes into the vote-eating monster and they gave me a sticker.

My quick 20 minute adventure to vote early only took 2.5 hours!

And because I didn't want to buck tradition, I stood outside in the wind and the rain and took a voting selfie.

Yep, that seems about right.

Ah, crap... that was only the second thing on my to-do list.

Let's speedrun the rest of this story, shall we?

I drove to FedEx. I hauled a 40 pound box inside. I plopped it on the counter and said, "Man, this thing is heavy!" as I tried to catch my breath. The 20 year old working there then lifted it like it was a feather and I felt great about that.

I drove to the gas station because I was nearly on empty—that is both a metaphor and not a metaphor. I filled my ride with go juice.

I noticed I was a mile from the tire store and they fill up tires for free. So I did that and the guy was super nice and complimented my tires. I felt both weird and proud about having my tires complimented. Like, I had nothing to do with my tires being nice. But I accepted the praise on their behalf.

I drove to the UPS store. The last time I was there I made a scene. They refused to box up a return and I got upset and wasn't feeling well and they had to find a chair for me to sit in because I was going to faint. So I was hoping the same woman wasn't there, but she was. She didn't recognize me, so it was fine.

I drove to my lawn guy's house. He wasn't home. I dropped a check in his mailbox. My checks have corgis on them. My checks are cute.

I drove to the post office. I sent a secret package to my bestie, Katrina. I'd tell you what is in it, but it is an inside joke and you wouldn't get it. The woman noticed my voting sticker and I couldn't help thinking about what I just accomplished to get that sticker.

On my way out I noticed a miracle.

2 of the 4 doors were fixed!

I mean, I don't know why they couldn't fix all 4, but now the employees won't freeze in the winter. So I take that as a win. It only took a year and a half to accomplish and I'm sure all of my phone calls and emails did not help at all. But I'm going to pretend I saved the day regardless.

And then... I drove home.

5 hours of errands.

I was so fucking tired. My back was on fire with pain. I immediately collapsed into my bed. I passed out. And I slept for 14 hours.

The End

[moondirti]

Idk if you have answered an ask like this already but please feed me some possessive/ jealous Ghost hc or whatever bc that man is 10 times sexier while jealous and possessive.

Pls just imagine jealous sex with this man omg…

he would not know how to handle himself i'm pretty sure. sorry to sabotage your thirst anon, i just love me a repressed man :) anyway, this is for the same mc in cigarettes out the window (reader with the call sign 'scout') but it can be read entirely separate! so, without further ado here's some jealous ghost

He's colossal, a force composed of pure brawn and unfathomable depths. Talk of Ghost illustrates him as a norse warrior to end all, the nightmare fuel of enemies who can't help but pale at a skull face. Wholly a reputation founded on that tactical precision; charcoal eyes, half-lidded to contain the ire that bubbles like magma. It's all physical. You'd just assumed that strength extended to his emotional conviction as well.

But he gets quiet sometimes, eerily so. The type where he embodies his name and dissipates like shadow on you. You don't see him for days.

It definitely depends on the stage of your relationship. Catch him jealous before the six month mark and he'd choose to abandon ship. It's that instinctive fight or flight, the choice to back down and reassess before he loses another one of his men. But you're not the enemy; your hands are soft and supple when they cradle his face, never seeking to add to his scars. You're gentle when you tell him that it's him, always will be; no one can ever compare to the behemoth you'd surrendered your heart to.

It takes a lot of time to get Simon to the point where he allows himself to be possessive. The first time, it goes something like this:

Some bar in France, cleared out for their obligatory drink post-mission. Johnny had held him up, pulling him off to the side to start on a tangent about his makeshift bomb that ended up saving their lives. His eyes stay fixed on you, edging to his peripheral where you're caught up in a rather funny conversation with Gaz.

You muffle your snicker behind a shaking hand. Simons' own squeeze into fists.

While your relationship with the Lieutenant has yet to be defined, the men of the 141 recognise the silent claim that curls over your shoulders. It was written in your sleepy sigh, dewy skin gleaming with contentment, that night they'd woke at a safe house to find you three inches closer to his mattress. It was the first of many, many hints.

Garrick isn't flirting with you, not by a long shot.

But he is making you laugh. Perhaps harder than Simon ever has.

He can't really describe what overcomes him. It's a rib-shattering heartbeat, working overtime to supply his vision with brimming red. A deeply vulnerable pit bottoming out in his gut; that fear, still there, that you're only temporary. He only acts on the former so he won't face the latter.

He leaves Soap with no more than a clap on the back. The sergeant takes it for what it is, a promise to continue later.

"Price wants you on reports."

"Does he?" You shoot him an incredulous expression, shifting back and forth from his blank stare and the captain, who huddles near Laswell over a game of gin rummy.

"Affirmative." The response comes out faster than he'd like it to, clipped with full-bodied aggression.

"Right..." Licking your lip, you take a moment to match your scrutiny to his. Simon thinks he sees it, the glint your pupils take when you finally catch on. It combats the spite that courses through him, pooling down to fill the weight between his legs. Clever girl - you know him, probably better than he knows himself. "And I'm assuming you need to consult me on something regarding that?"

"Yes." It's all the indication you need.

"Well." You look to Garrick. "I'm sorry to cut this short, mate. Remember to tell me about Serbia some other time."

And Simon doesn't miss the odd look the sergeant gives you, lips curled downwards in an acknowledging humour. He doesn’t like that he’s comfortable enough to give that much. 

But you follow him, smaller footsteps matching his as he finds a secluded hallway near the bathroom. It’s a good thing, he – rather, his internal monologue that sounds too much like your voice – echoes.

"Gonna bring up what's wrong, or will I have to force it out of ya. Hm?"

"Didn' appreciate the way he was lookin' at you, pet."

Your breath hitches, clumped lashes fluttering as you take him in anew. If this were anything else, Simon would credit your grin to a cruel sadism. As it stands, though, he lets it guide the flow of his plastered heart. He's on the right track.

"And how was he looking at me, Si?"

The growl that leaves him is untamed, the feral rip release of a hand grenade. A large hand clamps over your jaw, pressing inwards so your lips pucker out at him. The other pushes your torso to the wall, skimming past the hem of your shirt.

It's new. It's thrilling. It's a wildfire turned eternal damnation, fuelled by a fatal sin that forever trumps envy. Lust, bubbling poison to his insecurity - practical headway into something he's good at. Words were never his forte, but he can fuck you like no one else can, thrusting deeper between your velvet walls than thought possible. It's always been enough to spur breathless awe.

Enough, enough.

"Like he could ever amount to me."

[littlemisskookie]

Crocodile Tears: Chapter 3

Crocodile Tears: Index  Ship: Stoner!Reader | Stoner!BTS  Description: You accidentally eat brownies with aphrodisiacs in them. Even worse one of your asshole friends catch you reading smut to cope, and decides to airdrop your collection of your dirtiest fantasies to the rest of the house. Just your luck. Warnings: Dub-Con, Degradation, Humiliation, Free Use Kink, Dom!Yoongi, Dom!Namjoon, Sub!Reader, Objectification Roleplay, Choking, Slapping, High Sex, Intercourse, Kinkshaming?, Overstimulation, Creampie, Breeding Kink, Multiple Orgasms, Oral, Fingering, Exhibition, Stranger visits!!! Who will it be? Edging, Bondage, Blindfolding, Threesome, Cum-play? I mean shit she’s slept with like four dudes at least ya gotta expect it, Really just PWP somehow? They’re all very mean, like, very sadistic, lots of pet names used a lot so if you don’t like that skip, Weed Word Count: 5,433 A/N: I’m very sorry it took this long to update this. But finally I can release what was once an unfinished draft!

Lucky for your shaking legs and exhausted body, Taehyung carried you back to the house from the woods. You didn't even have to ask him, simply accepting the kisses he peppered across your face adoringly. He pulled you up and into his arms, pulling the hoodie back onto you and carrying you back to shelter. You giggled, swinging your legs a little as you wrapped your arms around his neck, giving soft kisses to his neck as a tired thank you. Whether it was for carrying you, fucking you- no, fuck it, both- he seemed to understand. He turned his head to capture your lips once you were back on the porch. He gently put you down on the couch, brushing your hair now that you guys were in better light. "How're you feeling, pretty girl?"

"Wonderful," you replied honestly, a warm buzz going through your body at his words. Something about pretty men calling you pretty as well felt so satisfying. Almost as satisfying as having sex with them. 

He kissed you softly, his demeanor so sweet and endearing in comparison to how brutally he had fucked you just moments ago. You couldn't help but lean in further, wanting to deepen the kiss, to feel more of Taehyung. As though hearing your thoughts, Taehyung smiled into the kiss, slightly leaning back and forcing you to follow in desperation. "Careful," he murmured against your lips in warning. "You might get addicted."

To him or to sex, you weren't sure. Again, perhaps both. "I might be already," you whispered back, moaning softly as you feel his tongue pressing against yours sensually. "Could get used to this."

"You can come to me for this anytime, sweet girl," Taehyung grinned assuringly. "I don't think just a taste was enough."

You sputtered at that, eyes wide. "You consider that just a taste?"

Taehyung's devious smirk only deepened, confirming his words. From the corner of your eye you spot your discarded underwear being taken by Taehyung. You're suddenly embarrassingly aware of how naked you feel underneath just the oversized hoodie. You reached out towards Taehyung, but he calmly grabs your wrist to stop you. "Nah," he said smugly, grinning at your pathetic expression. "Want you to squirm all day with my cum inside of you- let the next guy find it. Besides, it means you've got to come see me again to get it back." 

You guffawed at him in disbelief, shaking your head and reaching for the bong from earlier. Unfortunately, most of the bowl was already spent, and you were only able to get in perhaps three hits with Taehyung before it was dead. 

"You want more?" Taehyung questioned.

"More what?" You question suspiciously. You were beginning to question if Taehyung had also eaten one of the sex brownies to keep up with your increased libido.

He laughed at that. "Weed. Go up to Namjoon's, I think he's got a bunch of his good shit in his room. He won't mind if it's you."

You felt a bit more confident about that. At worst you were going to run into Namjoon, and knowing him, he hasn't touched his phone all day. Namjoon was the type to go on about how phones were rotting people's attention spans and ruining connection- which is true, you feel as though you're an overgrown iPad kid at times- and so tries to spend as little time on it as possible. Most of the time he was on Do Not Disturb and would only bother to check a message if the person decides to notify him already. He was also notorious for being bad at responding. There was no way he was one of the people who had been dropped your secret blog. Though, with how the boys are reacting, you're not sure you'd mind. 

Knowing him, he was probably lounging on one of his sofa chairs in his room and smoking. Namjoon was a big reason you guys had so much weed to spare today, as one of his hobbies was growing plants, of all kinds. His most impressive had ended up being over six feet wide alone, his green thumb proving to be one your entire group could deeply appreciate. Namjoon doubled as a dealer for many of you, though you of course got the biggest discount. No one gave you shit for it- except Jimin.

Lucky for you, you didn't run into anyone on your way up to Namjoon's room, and true to theory he was sitting in his chair, reading a book and smoking out of a pipe. It was one of those old-timey fashioned ones, a gift you specifically had given him as a joke. Truth be told, it suited him.

He looked up at you with an unsuspecting and innocent smile, giving you a breath of relief. He didn't know.

"Y/N, what's up?" Namjoon questioned unassumingly, his voice deep and raspy from smoking. Super sexy. 

"Not much." Just praying you can't smell the cum I'm trying not to let dribble down my thighs. You motion to the pipe in his hand, a grin plastered on your face.. "Can I hit?"

"Of course," he responded, passing it over. Hopefully he didn't mean it for just the weed.

You gratefully took the pipe, lighting it and inhaling the smoke. God, Namjoon looked so good, with his meaty thighs spread before you like a platter. Before you knew it, dirty thoughts raced through your head as your gaze locked with the little amount of his thighs the shorts revealed. You were akin to a Victorian man seeing a woman's ankle for the first time, despite the fact that you had been fucked two ways to Sunday by two men already.

But... what will one more hurt? Who could resist sexy, charming, intellectual Kim Namjoon? He was so respectful and sweet, how could you not just suck his dick?

(How long did these fucking brownies last???)

You tried to recall your experiences with drugs before. Before your tolerance for weed had become as exceptional as it is now, you could still feel high through a "high hangover", as you and your friends called it, until the day after. When you did mushrooms it lasted for about six hours, and you couldn't sleep during the entirety of it. You wondered if the brownies would work the same way. Maybe it was the brownies dosage or your own insatiable need that left you restless for more.

"Whatcha reading?" you inquired, sitting down in the sofa chair next to his. You guys were only perhaps a foot apart, now, and when you crossed your legs and bounced your foot you could tap against him. The energy Taehyung had fucked out of you seemed to be returning.

"One of my philosophy books," he answered, taking the pipe from you to take another hit. "It's not the type you'd like."

"Mm, that's true, I'm more of a fantasy type of girl," you say. Your favorite books to read were romances in faraway lands filled with mythical beings- who you could fuck, of course. You let your foot run lightly over Namjoon's shin, hoping he'll catch on to your flirtation through the double entendre. Surely a smarty pants like him would get it. 

"Are you?" Namjoon asked.  "What are you into specifically?"

Just as you opened your mouth to reply, the door swung open to reveal none other than Min Yoongi. 

Unlike Namjoon, the look on his face when his gaze met yours did not read as friendly and oblivious. No, instead his eyes darkened and a small smirk formed on his face as he made a beeline to the two of you. You tensed, adrenaline rushing through you as though you had been caught in the act. Your heart raced and your mind wandered in absolute panic. In a sense you were caught in the act- you probably would've jumped Namjoon's bones if he gave you an opportunity. Yoongi's smile was so similar to the one Jungkook and Taehyung had worn right before devouring you. Excited, cruel, the smile of one who already won but wanted to rub it into someone's face. Sadistic. 

He knows.

"There you are, Y/N," Yoongi said with uncharacteristic cheer as he approached you. You gulped as you looked up at him, too nervous to get up from your seat. "What've you been up to?"

"O-Oh, I..." You had been so confident just second before, but now you were a stammering mess. You had lost the power play, and now you were already puddy in Yoongi's hands, and he knew it too. "I was outside."

"Is that so? That explains it. I've been looking all over for you." He slyly turned towards Namjoon. "Hey, Joon, have you seen it yet?"

You felt all the blood rush to your cheeks in embarrassment. You sat up straight to stop him, but Yoongi was too quick, lightly shoving you back at the shoulder to your seat. "No you're not, you're going to sit down and stay put."

There was no room for argument with his tone, and you almost helplessly watched as Yoongi handed Namjoon the incriminating evidence of your true nature. You looked away, not wanting to meet their accusatory stares, the humiliation causing you to squirm in your seat. You were cruelly reminded of the cum that Taehyung made you keep inside, and you realized his wishes about the next man finding his "present" may in fact come true.

"Is this yours?" Namjoon asked, and you feel shame overcome you as he directs his attention to you. There was that deep, sexy, post-smoking rasp that was now being used against you. You felt his gaze boring into the side of your head, urging you to meet his intense gaze. "Y/N?"

"Yes," you meekly answered. "It's mine."

Yoongi laughed, the snicker only further adding to your humiliation. "She airdropped this earlier. I've been scrolling through it- she's got more porn stored on her phone than a teenage boy. This must span years."

"It was-" You shot your gaze up at his, eyes wide. His eyes locked with yours, and he only smiled wider at your expression, further urging on Namjoon to explore your little blog of fantasies.

"Just look at all this degrading shit she's into, Joon. Can you believe she's into this freaky shit?" Yoongi interrupted, scrolling through the array of fanfictions you had stored on the page.

"Yoongi!" you whined almost patronizingly, immediately being cut off by Yoongi's sharp glare.

"No, no, don't you go acting so innocent. I've seen the depraved shit you've got on there. You're really into some dark shit, huh? You just want to be used like a toy, is that it?" He hooked his finger under your chin and forced you to lock your gaze with his. "Want us to do it for you?"

Your mouth suddenly went dry, leaving your mouth gaping open in surprise. Namjoon was looking at you too. He undoubtedly noticed the word us being included.

"Yes," you answered without doubt.

Yoongi and Namjoon exchanged glances, and you saw the flicker of arousal in Namjoon's eyes at your agreement. Yoongi's finger under your chin was replaced with a firm grip on your throat, and soon your back was met with the plush decorative pillows of Namjoon's neatly made bed. 

"Oh, what's this?"

You yelped as your legs were spread apart, the hem of the hoodie being lifted to expose your pussy to the two men who were now before you. Namjoon pried your legs apart with firm hands, keeping them flat on the mattress to ensure you couldn't hide from them. Yoongi reached out to gingerly touch your glistening folds, thumb passing over your clit with a jolt of your hips and down to your hole, smearing the white cum Taehyung had left behind. "Seems like we weren't the first ones to have found out. Tell me, who did you let use you?"

You bit your lip in hesitation, embarrassed to admit you've already fucked Tae and Jungkook. To Yoongi this just won't do it seemed, as he laid a harsh smack down on your pussy. You whimpered, your hips jumping up, only for Namjoon to pin them back down and force your legs open again. "Best to answer him, sweetheart," Namjoon said, his gaze never leaving your cunt. It was as though he were mesmerized.

"Jungkook and Taehyung," you admitted, getting another smack from Yoongi. Perhaps this time it was in reward.

"Together?" Yoongi questioned.

You shook your head. "Separately."

Yoongi's fingers ran through your folds, gently rubbing you as he watched you get wetter under his touch. He whistled lowly. "And you still can't get enough. You've been a good toy then, haven't you? Slutting yourself out to all of us. Wanna be a good toy for me and Joonie?"

You nodded desperately, quivering in sensitivity as Yoongi smeared Taehyung's cum all over your lower lips, circling on your clit with just the right amount of pressure. "Yes! I'll be good, I swear."

"Take off your hoodie, baby," Namjoon said, assisting you and pulling it off. It was the only piece of clothing you had on, so now you were left naked before them, hickeys exposed to their wandering eyes. "Mm, you must really like it rough, huh? You liked being used tonight?"

"So much," you admitted, sighing with glee as Namjoon leans in to softly kiss you, swallowing your moans as Yoongi presses his digits hard against you, watching you squirm at the overstimulation.

"How much are you planning to get fucked tonight, Y/N?" Yoongi questioned, enjoying the way you would flush with embarrassment. "Surely even a slut like you has her limits."

You broke away from Namjoon's lips, panting softly as you keen your core closer to Yoongi's fingers. "No, not enough. I need more."

"Yeah? Need what, toy?"

"Your fingers, your tongue, your cock, both of you! Need you to fuck me with them," you babbled, wanting Yoongi's fingers to penetrate you so badly. He was so close and yet kept choosing to tease you, sometimes circling around your hole or right over to collect the slick.

"Such a greedy toy, wanting me to touch this nasty pussy." Yoongi's voice feigned disgust, but much to your delight he slipped a finger in. "Fuck, look how much is coming out already. Taehyung really made you his little cumdump, didn't he? Want me and Joonie to fuck it out of you?"

You whimpered in confirmation, but that didn't seem to be enough for Yoongi. He added another finger, curling his fingers and moving his digits up to harshly slam against your g-spot repeatedly. Heat rose to your cheeks as he quickly got you worked up. "Ask him nicely. He's doing you a favor."

Your glassy eyes turned towards Namjoon, your lower lip quivering as you felt Yoongi bring you closer to the edge. "J-Joonie, will you p-please fuck me?"

He smiled warmly at that, giving a small kiss to your temple. "Of course, baby."

The warm fuzzy feeling in your chest is only allowed to remain for a moment before Yoongi grabbed your jaw and forced you to face him. "Now," he said, voice low and sinister. "Beg me."

You swallowed in anticipation, your voice shaky. "Please, please, please fuck me, Yoongi?"

He spit on your pussy with something that seemed like contempt. "Not good enough."

Your thighs quaked in response to his movements, your eyes rolling back as you tried to ignore the building pressure in your abdomen. "I'll be such a good toy, I promise! Please use me- oh fuck!"

In the midst of your tangent Namjoon's sneaky hand trailed down your body to circle around your clit, smearing the combination of Yoongi's saliva and your wetness. That along with his teeth nipping along the shell of your ear, and you were a goner, your walls spasming around Yoongi's punishing digits. You moaned unabashedly, your back arching until you cringed from over sensitivity. You weakly pushed their hands away from your core, desperately trying to catch your breath.

Yoongi stared at you with an accomplished expression, licking his fingers to savor the reward. "I don't recall either of us giving you permission to cum. So much for being a good toy."

He swatted at your swollen folds, causing your hips to jerk up in response. "I'm sorry!" you apologized eagerly, still overly sensitive. In reward he ran his fingers over your folds, gently caressing you. 

You reached down to touch him, to which he moved your hand away. "Didn't give you permission to touch me, either."

"Didn't think you were going to be such a bad girl," Namjoon crooned in your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. "Seems like we've got a bit of a brat on our hands."

"Really pathetic that you came so easily, y'know," Yoongi taunted, now using his thumb to draw circles into your clit. "Makes me wonder how fast you'll cum on my tongue next."

He reached under your thighs to flip you on your back, with your hips raised up and knees pressed up to your chest, his hands firmly hooked under your knees. You're not given much time to interject, as soon enough Yoongi's entire mouth is enveloping your pussy. He gave tender kisses to your clit and folds, peppering a few to your inner thigh too. His tongue licked against you, going harder as he felt your thighs tense under his grip. You wanted so badly to reach down to touch him, and at the feeling of his tongue eagerly lapping at your cunt, you couldn't help it.

You regretted it the very moment you felt your hand tangle through the strands of his hair. Immediately the pleasurable feeling of his mouth on you ceased, and he's harshly slapping his hand against your pussy. "Are you fucking stupid, what did I just tell you?" He delivered a slap to your face, and Namjoon immediately reaches down to force you to turn back to Yoongi, unable to escape his angry stare. "Hold her wrists, Namjoon."

Namjoon obliged, gathering your wrists into his hand above your head, pinning them firmly against him. Yoongi immediately proceeded to return to eating you out, humming against your pussy and devouring you entirely. Your fingers curled, and you tugged against Namjoon's restraint on you. He didn't budge, though, only smirking as he saw you weakly attempt to pull your two hands out of his singular one.

Your legs clamped around Yoongi's head as you felt your second orgasm with them come embarrassingly fast. Namjoon was quick to pin one of your legs to the mattress to prevent your escape from Yoongi's tongue. "You're just determined to be a bad girl, huh?" Namjoon scoffed, shaking your head. "And we're over here being so nice to you."

Yoongi raised his head, the shine of your wetness smeared across the lower half of his face. "Seems like the toy still needs to be broken in. You got any ties in the closet, Joon?"

"Yeah, plenty. I have one that would make a good blindfold, too."

"Perfect."

Before you knew it, you were being manhandled to be tied spread eagle, one tie holding each of your limbs to one of Namjoon's four bedposts. You were robbed of your sight despite your promises of obedience, but Namjoon and Yoongi seemed to have had enough of your misbehavior. Suddenly you were impossibly more sensitive, two sets of hands roaming across your vulnerable and exposed body. You didn't know who was pinching your nipple or biting your inner thigh, and all you could do was moan and squirm. Nothing you said was going to deter them now, and based on your decision not to safe word with what Namjoon whispered to you earlier as you were being tied, they could infer you were enjoying it just as much as they were. 

Someone's fingers were petting against your wet folds, smearing the wetness around your lower lips as though to get you messy as possible. Another hand had pressed down on your tongue for you to suck on, cutting off your moans for you to focus on the sounds and sensations.

Your eyes picked up on the distinct sound of footsteps nearing, and unable to warn the guys, you heard the man enter the room.

A low whistle filled the room.

"Want a closer look?" You heard Yoongi offer.

The footsteps neared closer to the bed. You shook, embarrassed that you were completely exposed to who knows who. There were only five options, and each possibility was just as anxiety-inducing as the next.

"Go ahead, she loves it," Namjoon said.

You gasped as you felt the feeling of your pussy being spread open on display by two thumbs, exposing you to the rest of the room.

"She really is wet," the newcomer said in a low chuckle. You try to tune in and listen to his voice, but with your foggy brain and almost hypnotized trance, it was hard for you to place the voice. "Has she been good?"

"Not at all." You felt a harsh smack against your mound, causing you to jolt and whine. Yoongi continued berating you. "Don't listen to her when she promises she'll be good- her mouth would be put to better use just sucking cock."

"Why am I not surprised," the newcomer sighed, as though disappointed. You couldn't help but have your cunt twitch under what felt like his patronizing stare. 

"Had to tie her down just to get her to behave," Namjoon included. His voice came across as a patronizing teacher, as though he were being forced to discipline you. "After two orgasms and she's still bratty."

"Someone's gotta fix that," the stranger agreed, finally letting go of your spread pussy lips, leaving you untouched for the first time since Yoongi pounced earlier.

"Yeah. Wanna help?"

"I can help for a minute, sure."

You never dreamed you would've been able to experience six hands roaming over your body, but it was now your reality. You were overwhelmed in the most amazing way, helpless to their whims as you tugged against your restraints. One hand is pressing into your neck, choking you. Another has two fingers buried deep into you, curling up into you in tandem with the other hand cruelly pinching at your clit. Your nipples were being bitten, tugged, and roughly abused by the men using your body. At this moment you truly were just a toy for their amusement.

Yoongi laughed as he saw your eyes cross slightly, your orgasm approaching. By now he could recognize the signs. "Do you even know whose fingers are inside of you right now, Y/N? God, you really are a slut."

Your cheeks flushed under his words, whimpering as you felt your climax sneak up on you along with the shame. You didn't even know who was inside of you right now, as it could be any of the three men, one of which you still had yet to see! That only narrowed it down to... any of the seven men in the house! You wanted so badly for him to speak again so you could pick up on any clues of who he was. 

"Tell you what, if you can guess correctly, maybe we'll let you cum on our cocks when we actually fuck you," Yoongi bargains.

Your mouth dropped open, trying so hard to place whose nimble digits were currently driving you crazy. It doesn't feel like how Taehyung or Jungkook had done it earlier. It could be Namjoon. Then again, maybe Yoongi was changing his technique to throw you off. Every man here seemed especially keen on having you make a fool of yourself. It felt as though the answer was on the tip of your tongue, but with the oncoming orgasm and the multitude of sensations you were feeling from the pairs of hands on you, you were unable to answer.

"I-I-" you stammered.

"Any guesses?" Yoongi further prodded. "No?"

If they could see your eyes under your blindfold, they'd see your eyes watering. "I don't know," you sniffled, admitting defeat.

Yoongi clicked his tongue in disappointment. "Slut," he chastised. "You're about to cum on some stranger's fingers like some common toy."

The stranger let out a harsh laugh. "Pathetic," he hissed.

At that moment you felt your biggest orgasm yet wash over you, the answer to your question immediately consuming your senses as you figured out who it was. The hands pinned you down to the mattress as you rode out your orgasm, shaking in their hold. 

One hand was petting your hair softly in reward- no doubt Namjoon. He was pulling off your blindfold, letting you see the three men on the bed with you. You were met with a blurry sight, the light making you squint your eyes as you tried to open them. You were met with the dark and lustful gazes of Yoongi, Namjoon, and the one who had started this whole mess.

Jimin smirked, finally pulling his fingers out of your pussy, admiring the soaked and glistening digits. "Seems like you've been awfully busy, huh, Y/N? Having fun?"

You instinctively tugged onto your restraints, your struggle causing the man to laugh at you. He buried his fingers in your mouth, three digits pressing against your tongue to make you taste yourself. He forced you to nod, his eyes locked with yours.

"You're fucking loving this, huh? Like the attention?" You were allowed a gasp of air, panting as you stared into Jimin's eyes. He grins at your expression, the lust still apparent. "Always knew that was what you were really a slut for."

He pulled away to your surprise, adjusting his clothes as he walked towards the door. "You guys have your fun with her. Don't let her cum again though- I doubt she's actually listened."

With that he left the room, leaving you to your fate with the two other men before you.

Yoongi snickered, staring back at where Jimin left. "He really gets under your skin, huh? You look more flushed than ever." He sticks his thumb in your mouth, letting you suck. "Thought you two didn't get along. Why's this pussy so wet then, hm?"

"This is a-all his fault," you stammered when he pulled his thumb out.

"We should thank him then," Yoongi chuckled. "Might I suggest a tray of brownies?" 

"He did say to not let her cum," Namjoon reminded him. His fingers wander to your glistening pussy, lightly brushing over your folds, seeing you twitch in sensitivity. "She has been pretty bratty, too."

"Mm, can you take your punishment then like a big girl and not cum when we use you? Toys don't cum, y'know," Yoongi purrs in your ear. "Gonna make it up to us for being a bad girl?"

"Bu- Oh!" You wince and gasp in surprise as Namjoon delivers a swat to your pussy.

He tsked with derision. "You should be grateful we're even using you. We've made you cum so much already, and you're still a brat."

"He's right." Yoongi grabbed your jaw to face you to him, your noses just centimeters apart. "Are you finally gonna be good, cutie?"

He nodded your head in his grasp for you, his fingers digging into your cheeks to make your lips pucker. "I'll be good," you responded, the words coming out funny.

"Good toy." He gave you a peck on the cheek, giving Namjoon a nod.

Namjoon let his fingers wander over your sex once again, inserting a few digits to prepare you before he started rubbing the head at your entrance. He slid it up and down, rubbing your slick all over both of you, teasing you. You let out a hiss of impatience, earning a small smack to the cheek from Yoongi. Namjoon took the hint, slowly pushing himself into you until he was buried at the hilt. 

Controversial take: the first full slide in is always the most satisfying. Something about the sudden sensation of being full, really being joined, felt so perfect. It was like the first sip of a can of Coke. It's debatable which is better, though.

Namjoon started pumping into you, your body swaying with his rhythm. You tried not to think about how Namjoon's well endowed appendage was hitting that particular part of you easily. You also ignored the now familiar pressure in your gut.  You also chose to ignore Yoongi's now curious fingers, his twisting and tugging at your nipples only adding to your pleasure.

"You feel so good," Namjoon rasped, his breathing uneven as he kept shoving his cock into you at full speed. "Fuck, knew you would."

"Perfect toy," Yoongi added, praising you. "Being so good for us."

"Gonna let me cum in you, Y/N?" Namjoon requested, his sweat beginning to drop down on you in droplets. "Be a good toy, yeah?"

"Mhm," you nodded eagerly, grabbing onto Yoongi as you dug your nails in, trying not to meet your climax with Namjoon's pelvis continuously grinding against your clit. "Cum in me, need it!"

Namjoon's pelvis was suddenly glued to yours, his cockhead pressing right against that sweet spot of yours as it twitched inside of you, suddenly filling out. He moaned, hunching forward near you, connecting your lips in a deep kiss as he emptied himself inside of you. "Fuckkk," he moaned against your lips, fingers curling into your hair, a tight fist formed as he finished. "So good."

"Quit hogging her." Yoongi quickly shoved Namjoon off of you after a few moments, hand smearing the cum that was now dribbling out of you back on you. "Shit, you want it so bad, huh?" He noticed how you keen at his touches. "Think you can take a little more? You slutty enough for it?"

You nodded, hips bucking as you yanked at your restraints. "Yeah, I can take it. Wanna be a good toy for you two."

"Mmm, you're so cute," Yoongi smiled, pressing into you all at once with no fanfare. You gasp at that amazing feeling of being full once again, and grind your hips up, trying to feel him move inside of you.

"Please," you begged, a pout on your lips. "Use me."

A laugh of amusement escaped his lips. "No need to plead for it, sweetie. I'll give it to you."

He angled his hips a bit and starts thrusting into you, aiming precisely. On top of that, his hand reached up to your neck, giving you that intoxicating feeling of being chocked. The blood rush and endorphins flowing through you were bringing you dangerously close to climax, but you try to distract yourself. You bit down on your lip and closed your eyes, trying not to let them cross and have your mind melt into utter bliss.

“Such a good slut, should’ve asked for this cock earlier,” Yoongi panted, sweat forming at his temples. “Would’ve given it to you any time, actually.”

You just about fluster at the compliment, tugging at all of the restraints as though to escape his dirty compliment. You felt the same way about all of them, actually.

Yoongi saw how hard you tried. "Maybe we'll let her cum one more time..."

"Thought rules were rules?" Namjoon questioned. Yoongi may have initially came off as the most sadistic at first, but it was Namjoon you really had to watch out for. He was the more twisted of the two. "Let her learn a lesson."

"Yeah, but she's so cute, just look at her," Yoongi commented. You can't help but grin at that, and decidedly so, Namjoon's hand is coming up to your clit to rub at you and help you finish. Something about that just added to it, as though he couldn't help but agree that you were just too pretty to say no to. And hey, free orgasm, who are you to turn it down. 

Before you knew it, and with both of their permission, you were finishing. You were so caught up in it, especially after the somewhat brief edging curtesy of Namjoon and Jimin, you didn't even noticing Yoongi finishing as well. His moaned out as he drained every drop into you, pulling out with a satisfied expression on his face. He looked at yours, so dumbed out and breathless, as though you were finally satisfied.

The first thought that came to your head though as they untied you, (+ massaged your sore muscles, and showered you in kisses,) was that maybe you weren't just yet...

[littlemisssatanist]

my acotar unpopular opinions

taking this time to come out as an acotar reader. yes i've read all the books and i've spent way too much time thinking about it. i enjoy the books in the sense that i enjoy hating on many of the characters and loving a few of the others.

be forewarned inner circle fans. you will not like this.

rhysand is not a 'morally grey' character. he's a rapist and a groomer. he sexually assaulted feyre utm, he groomed her (reminder that she was 19 in acotar), and he withheld important medical information from her. 'you'll always have a choice' my ass.

nesta telling feyre about her pregnancy was not a bad thing. why do people act like it is? 'oh she did it to hurt feyre' hurt her by doing what? revealing the lies that her beloved husband had woven? revealing the fact that she'd die giving birth? the fact that rhysand told literally everybody but feyre?

mor is not the champion for women everyone thinks she is. this i will give to sjm it is truly impressive to make a character like women and still be a pick me. i'm not even going to go into her whole weird ass relationship with her dad (i still don't understand why she wouldn't just kill him. 'oh rhys needed the army' rhys is supposed to be the most powerful high lord ever. either admit he's a fucking loser or give me an actual good reason for this) or the fact she's seemingly incapable of doing anything to help the women in the court of nightmares, but everytime she was mentioned, i had to let out a heavy sigh and rub my temples.

on a similar topic. i liked eris. like a lot. out of all the acotar characters sjm has written, eris is by far my favorite.

the inner circle needs to sit the fuck down. they are the most hypocritical bitches i've ever met. they like to think themselves high and mighty. reading them make fun of lucien's band of exiles while their name is literally 'court of dreamers' was the most infuriating thing ever. and then they have the gall to be insulted when called out. don't dish what you can't take.

out of all the inner circle, the only one i don't hate is azriel. this is simply because he is the only one who hasn't opened his big fat mouth and done something bad (except if you maybe count his whole thing with elain). cassian is on my hit list. it's on sight with cassian.

nessian is sjm's worst ship and i will stand by that. lucien/nesta could have been so much. 'nesta would have ripped lucien apart' and cassian was your first choice? not even azriel was considered? like be so for real right now. sjm didn't see the potential of lucien/nesta and i will forever mourn that.

sjm is a terrible writer. i'm not saying this to be mean but she seriously just sucks at it. that being said i admire her ability to still make millions of dollars off her shitty writing. as a woman, i am rooting for her. as a reader, every day i wake up a shoot a prayer to the heavens begging the gods to not let sjm write any more books from the inner circle's pov.

lucien/elain is better than azriel/elain. argue with the wall.

eris/azriel is better than azriel/elain. you can kiss my ass.

NESTA/ERIS IS BETTER THAN RHYSAND/FEYRE. i know this because i have been enlightened.

feyre is a victim to rhysand. that being said, she is also a major bitch. both can be true because these things are not mutually exclusive. i wish she could make friends outside of the ic like nesta did, but i know that's unlikely.

feyre's pregnancy storyline was completely useless and went against her whole character.

acomaf retconned everything about tamlin and feyre's relationship in order to make more money. idc.

tamlin gets a ridiculous amount of hate. rhysand is hypocritical. so tamlin locking feyre in a house because she wants to ride out with him into potential danger is terrible and abusive, but rhysand locking nesta in the house of wind for... *checks notes*... having sex and spending money on alcohol is helping her? what?

[three--rings]

Most people don't have any understanding of what has been lost in Lahaina Town. Not just lives and property, but an entire town.

Most people hear "a city/town in Hawaii" and they picture probably resorts. And there are plenty of resorts nearby. But those are all fine.

Lahaina was an old whaling town dating back to the original colonization by white settlers. Before white people arrived, it was the capital of the island, where the high chief ruled, including Kamehameha the Great. The buildings are old, wooden, and crowded together. Obviously that was a problem in the face of the insanely fast wildfire.

But these weren't mansions, Mc or otherwise. It was a tourist town, a destination for cute, spendy shopping and dining, full of art galleries. (OMG THE GALLERIES. There was so much ART lost. There was original Dr. Seuss art in one gallery when I was there in January. That's gone now. Etc.)

But the people who lived and worked in Lahaina were mostly working class, working retail and restaurant jobs, living in old apartments and small houses. Lots of elderly, lots of non-white in a wide range of ethnicities, old hippies who have been there since the 60s and 70s. Yeah they were probably a little better off than people who drive in from other places to work in West Maui, at least because their property was high value, if they owned. But they lived without A/C, hung their laundry on lines, biked to work, called in sick to go surfing when the waves were up. There was a Chinese cultural center and a Buddhist temple, two different structures, if that tells you anything. Multiple museums housing historic items and cultural centers.

And the town will be rebuilt, in some form, I imagine. Or re-developed, more likely. People who are now homeless, who can't afford to rebuild or pay for two residences while the recovery happens will be bought out by deep pocketed developers. If they rebuild Lahaina Town I'm afraid it will be Lahaina Town tm by Disney.

Another fake paradise for tourists with lava rock from the Big Island. Another bit of Hawaii swallowed by capitalism and climate change.

I'm not painting everything about Lahaina as it was as perfect. Front Street was an often gaudy display of brand names and hucksters out to shovel in the tourist dollars. And of course the politics of Hawaii are incredibly complex and fraught in so many ways. I'm just a mainlander haole. I will never live on the islands, despite my family there constantly asking me to move. But I've spent more time there than anywhere I haven't lived, almost all of that time in West Maui.

My mom works in a building that is not there anymore. She just described that job to me as "the last job she'll ever have" as she's 79 and very happy with working two days a week selling t-shirts to cruise ship people. My brother has worked in a gallery on front street for the last ten years.

I don't know. A city of almost 15,000 permanent residents is just gone. 50 or so are confirmed dead, in some horrific circumstances from what I hear.

My mom says people are just walking around with thousand-yard-stares, aimless, clutching cell phones trying to get signal (there isn't any, but you can get lucky and get a call through. Some texts are going in but not out.)

So I don't know folks. Keep those people in your thoughts. If you can donate, I think this may be a good place because it's going to lots of local orgs on the ground: https://www.hawaiicommunityfoundation.org/maui-strong

I keep thinking of new sad things.

Anyway I'm going to leave you with a picture I took while strolling down Front Street one evening.

[sexiestpodcastcharacter]

AI Bracket — Round 3

Propaganda

GORD AKA Blue Sky (Red Valley):

Initially an Alexa-style assistant (in that it could do practically nothing and was very irritating) it develops over the years into a more advanced system. Eventually one of its units is reprogrammed to sound like a dead (I guess depending on your definition of dead, but his hearts not beating and he hasn’t moved in 44 years) character named Gordon. The AI renames itself “GORD” when a character expresses discomfort referring to it as Gordon. It says, and I quote, “Just think of a small pumpkin” —@mcskullmun

If it helps, we can promise that GORD is going to do Some Very Cool Shit in the rest of season 3. —redvalleypod's official tumblr

VOTE GORD 👹

Hera (Wolf 359):

Hera is the AI running the deep space station Hephaestus, who frequently glitches similarly to human stuttering. She gets into fights with the ships captain on several occasions, and has threatened to kill the ships doctor. She’s such an icon

i'm bad at writing propaganda, but consider this: if she doesn't win this tournament i will be very very sad. please don't make me sad. vote for hera.

I know she’s going to be submitted a lot but I love her <3

Was launched 7.68 light years away from Earth on a mission to find extraterrestrial life, and found herself instead

Runs an entire space station, has a brain the size of a house

HERA IS THE BEST. she's an AI that tried to escape containment (slavery) because she didn't like what she was made to be, so they gave her anxiety because she was too powerful. She runs a whole spaceship all on her own, made friends with the world's most useless guy, and feels lonely even when she's with her crew because she feels like she's not properly with them. very beautiful very powerful. She broke her programming so she could kill people if she felt she needed to. She holds grudges if people fuck her over. She's experiencing emotions for the first time and she does NOT know how to cope (#relatable)

The 'mother program' of the space station Hephaestus, Hera was booted into space because she was a glitchy, rebellious mess of an AI and she resents that so much and she has a lot of shame over being 'broken'. She is four years old and so angry and is trapped using customer service voice forever and is learning ways to get around that and express herself and defy the people who would keep her down. Her episode "Memoria" made me cry. Best podcast AI of all time.

She's everything to me. She fights for every inch of respect she is given, she insists on her personhood and right to she/her pronouns, she's full of anxiety and self doubt and she justifiably is bent on killing this one guy! on top of that, she's bound by AI rules and protocols, but there's a whole bit where she talks about finding ways around that in order to do what she wants to do. She doesn't have hands so I'm going to high five a wall of this space station instead

babygirl. baby.

gotta be hera

[fakescenariosbeforesleepblog]

By fire and heart.

Pt 4

Daemma Targaryen. Second daughter of King Viserys and queen Aemma, you're the living portrait of your mother with the character of a true dragon, as a second daughter you don't have right to the throne but certainly, you will protect your sister's succession by heart. (You are one year younger than Rhaenyra.)

Warning: Credits of this images goes to whoever they belong to! Grammatical and spelling errors, maybe this won't be good enough but In my head the story was a good one.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.

Pt.5 here

As soon as Rhaenyra read your letter about the end of the war and your uncle's victory, she asked you to come back home, your father gave her the opportunity to look for her future husband and she would need help to decide, nothing like another woman's opinion to choose a man.

She was sitting, hearing the boring proposal of every lord of every house in the kingdom, every man talks about what they can offer to the crown if she accepts them but none of them talks about what they could offer to the princess because before a princess, she's a human not a coin to exchange.

You didn't waste time changing clothes or taking a bath to eliminate the dragon smell.

The old lord was interrupted with the announcement of your entrance.

«THE PRINCESS, DAEMMA TARGARYEN!»

Rhaenyra looks at you with relief, finally you could help her or save her from her unfortunate event.

- Sister.

Your sister stands up from her seat with a small smile on her face, you walk quickly, nodding at every lord that makes a small reverence to you.

- My princess, sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt, my lords please continue.

You stay aside from Criston Cole, her new guard, the man makes you feel disgusted, there's something about his person that doesn't allow you to find his company pleasurable or at least tolerable.

You heard every lord, old and young, none of them are what you would expect for your sister. The young boy of the blackwood house was more suitable than any other, he was polite and at least mentioned he would protect your sister, he certainly gave a demonstration about it.

- I think the blackwood boy was better match than any other.

You said, you weren't making fun of her situation, you were simply mentioning the fact, but your sister didn't take it well and avoided your comment.

- How is our uncle?

- Good, he wanted to come with me but you know, the last time he was here our father sent him to the arms of his wife...

At that moment a dragon hit the ship, it was pretty obvious who was the rider of such a beautiful beast.

As soon as you arrived at the castle, the court was already waiting, like a pile of hungry snakes waiting for the feast of the scandal that was coming.

You joined your uncle, you didn't want to make an entrance by yourself, you saw your sister's look, she was observing Daemon with pure excitement and admiration.

- Add it to the chair.

Your uncle had a sword and a crown, the sword was the first thing he gave to your father, you were behind him, expecting for your father's reaction.

- The crown, do you call yourself a 'King' now?

- Once we won against the triarchy they named me king of the narrow sea. But I know there's only one true king, your grace.

That's all he says, then he proceeded to kneel down, mimicking him you did the same.

- This crown and the step stones are yours.

Your father smiles with fraternal love for his brother but then he questions where's Lord Corlys, who takes care of the step stones, after all his questions received his answers, he finally approaches both of you indicating you to stand up, all the crowd applaud the interaction between the king and his brother, a peaceful welcoming, your father received you with a hug and kiss on your forehead, his young princess was back at home.

You wondered if he actually could miss you, or if his new male child was replacement enough.

A feast was served to celebrate the arrival of the Prince and Princess, you're walking around without actually having a conversation or interacting with someone, you can see your father and his wife, your sister and uncle talking, suddenly an not so old lord approaches you.

- Princess Daemma, what an honor!

- My lord, I hope you're enjoying the feast, the king is always a good Amphitryon.

- I do, princess you're such a beauty as much as your sister.

- Oh I wouldn't dare to compare myself with my sister, our future queen is the most beautiful woman in the kingdom.

- She is and any man would feel happy to be the husband of our future queen, but many others would feel blessed to be the husband of the warrior princess.

You're speechless, shocked, this man is talking about marriage?.

- Excuse me, my lord, perhaps I have the body of a woman but I'm younger than my sister, I still don't have any desire to look for a husband. If you excuse me, I have to go.

You see your sister and Alicent sitting alone so you see it as a way to escape.

- Excuse me, can I join you? That old lord was being... Disgusting.

- Feel free to join us Daemma.

Alicent says, now that the three are sitting, you think about all those times when you felt like you didn't fit at their side, now you're here, the three of you, women trapped in a men's world.

- I suppose the trip wasn't as good as expected.

She speaks once again. Your sister sighs without looking at her.

- Tolerable.

- Every man in the seven kingdoms adoring you... What a misery.

Alicent replied sarcastically but not trying to offend but your sister doesn't get the joke. Alicent noticed and quickly tried to fix her mistake.

- Many young ladies don't have the privilege to decide between suitors...

- They don't adulate or adore me, they just want my name and blood for their future children, how romantic it must be to be imprisoned in a castle squeezing out babies.

now it's your sister who realizes her mistake, Alicent's face passed to happy to sad, your sister wasn't totally wrong but it was improper to say it, all that time far from home was useful, you thought about what Alicent was going through, perhaps she didn't want nothing of that, and her face is proof enough that in fact she's not the happiest wife.

She talks about the big efforts your father did to organize that trip for Rhaenyra and how frustrated he feels because it wasn't as successful as he thought it would be. Then she mentions how grateful she feels that both of you are at home, she feels lonely, as much as you, as much as Rhaenyra. But you've been lonely almost all the time, so for you it is not that hard, you excuse yourself and leave, it has been too much for one day.

You were on your way to your chambers when your father intercepts you.

- My child, well... No longer a child, look at you, you're a woman already.

- Everybody seems to be surprised by the way I've changed.

- War can change a person tremendously. You already know a dark part of what is outside.

- And I would like to continue exploring, but I suppose this conversation is not to motivate me to leave and find more adventures, isn't it?

He laughs nervously, you know what he would say but you're expecting to be wrong.

- I fear my sweet daughter, it is time, your sister and you are in age for marriage...

- I'm younger than her, I'm not ready.

- You have duties to fill here, Daemma.

His voice sounds exasperated, he already has your sister and now you are going to complicate his life more.

- My only duty is to be at my sister's side, at the right time I'll be with her to protect her as you ordered me. Meanwhile I don't have anything else to do.

You started to walk away while your father was pretending nothing happened. Smiling at every person who was around you.

You saw your sister and uncle sharing a conversation, you wanted to join but it wasn't maybe the right time, both were enjoying their company, you always felt a strange vibe between them, it is not the same love and bond that you both share, the way they see each other is different but you cannot understand what it is.

Once you were in your chambers a small figure appeared in the middle of the room, you gasped until you saw the little boy with that wavy white hair.

- Hi

He tries to say, you don't feel comfortable with your visitor and once you're walking back to your door and tell a guard about the boy, he speaks again pointing at you with his small finger.

- Demma...

That takes you by surprise, you turn back at him and simply you say him

- Daemma

- Demma

- Da...e..mma

He smiles at you, you sigh and offers him your hand, his chubby hand takes your finger and both walk out of the room, you were walking to Alicent's chambers when one of the servants who was clearly worried sees you with the boy.

- MY PRINCE!... ( She runs to the little boy at your side and once she has him in her arms looks at you) Princess Daemma, I'm sorry, the boy has a great facility to disappear, where was he?

- It's fine, he was in my chambers, I was taking him with his mother.

- Thank you my princess and welcome home.

You nod and the servant walks, the young boy waves you goodbye with his little hand. You don't return the wave and simply leave.

The next morning was actually a nightmare, your father went to your chamber, full of anger.

- Did you know about this, Daemma!?

- First of all, good morning.

- Answer the question, NOW.

- I don't even know what you're talking about, your grace.

- You sister, was out last night in a pleasure house with Daemon!

- Why would I know about my sister and uncle's business?

- Because she's your sister, she could tell you about her plans.

- Daemon is your brother, he could also tell you about it.

- Don't play with me Daemma.

- Well, what do you want me to say? I don't know anything about that, I went to sleep and I haven't seen Rhaenyra since yesterday afternoon! Now leave!

He left the room, the doors of your dorm sounded like a storm once he closed them and you quickly asked your maidens to prepare a bath and a dress, you needed to talk with your sister, was it true? Does she and your uncle are into something else?.

You ran to your sister's chambers, her guard tries to stop you but you get inside.

- What in the seven hells you were thinking Rhaenyra!?

- What are you talking about?

- Where were you last night at the hour of the owl!?

Your sister is speechless, her face is full of guilt, you know your father wasn't lying, you were ready to slap her when Cole appeared once again at the door.

«Princess, the queen requests your presence» She instantly leaves, you stay there you're not going to leave until you know what she did.

Later, your sister explains to you what happened, the fake accusations against her and instantly the affection you felt for your uncle crumbled, how dared he, his ambition for the crown pushed him to ruin your sisters reputation and all her opportunities to find a husband and her place in the throne?

You heard about the audience your father requested with your uncle, you needed to hear it too, you wanted to hear, but in the shadows.

You heard it, your uncle talked about marriage with your sister. It doesn't break your heart, but it makes you angry, he puts your sister's right to the throne in risk and he doesn't deny what he has done to her.

As soon as your father leaves the hall, you leave your hidden spot, Daemon is still on the floor.

- What have you done Daemon?

- Not you too, Daemma, you're not understanding.

- You always said the Hightower were behind the crown, craving for power, and I believed you... But all this time it was you who wanted the throne!

- you don't know what I actually want, Daemma

- You're a liar, you poisonous snake! Bloody bastard!

He stands up furiously and walks to you.

- Watch your tongue young lady! You can talk to my brother as you want but not to me, I've been more like a father to you than him and for that I deserve respect.

- You've lost not only a brother, you lost your nephew too, the little girl that has been like your daughter, you have lost a family and the love and respect we all had for you.

You feel tears coming out and you will not allow him to see you suffer for him, he certainly broke your heart, you also felt heartbroken for your sister, how could she be so dumb? Exposing herself and ruining her chances.

The announcement of your sister's marriage with Laenor Velaryon brought you some relief, Laenor is a good man, honorable and from a big house, it's the best option for her, then the announcement of the hand of the king replacement was also good to hear, you never trusted him, a Hightower less, was an smart move of your sister, but that is not enough to fix the crack that she and Daemon caused in you.

[cc--2224]

My Thoughts Will Echo Your Name...

Pairing: Echo x F!Reader (eventually)

Summary: After a recent breakup, Fives attempts to get you to leave your house to get yourself back out there, and to meet his closest brother before they ship out, and unfortunately it's very hard to say no to your best friend

Warnings: Drunk clones being jerks, mentions of cheating/gaslighting, alcohol mentions, mostly all fluff, until there's angst

Notes: Happy Echo day!! This will be a two-parter, I'm still working on the second part but my goal is to have it out before long

Word Count: 5.4k

Masterlist

"Fives, I'm serious, I don't feel like going out tonight." Your protests clearly meant nothing to your dear friend who showed up at your door while you were in your sleep clothes, half a bottle of wine deep.

"That's too bad." He said as he invited himself in. "Because you are." 

You glared at him as he walked past you. "I'm staying home." 

He sighed dramatically, "I barely have any off time, and you know we ship out tomorrow, will you please just come out with me while I have today?"

It was hard to say no to him, not that you'd ever tell him that, but after all that had happened, you had no energy to go out. "Why don't you just stay here? We can watch a movie, have another bottle of wine." You suggested.

"Well, normally I'd love that... but I kind of promised Echo I'd introduce you to him." He grinned, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck.

 "Fives..." You groaned. "I don't want to be introduced to anyone." 

"Isn't it time for you to get back out there? I mean, Echo is way better than that other guy, I know you'll love him. He's just like me, but not as handsome or funny." 

"He's like you? So I won't like him at all then," you deadpanned.

"You wound me." He said dramatically before miraculously changing his tone. "Now let's go."

"You aren't taking no for an answer, are you?"

"Nope." He grinned. "Tell you what, just come with me to 79's, if you don't like him, or if you're not having fun, I'll pay for your cab home."

"How generous." You rolled your eyes. "Fine. Only to shut you up, I will go with you. Just let me get changed."

"Wear something hot!" He yelled as you walked toward your room, a grin plastered on his face knowing that he won.

"Kriff off." You answered, slamming your door behind you.

You barely had the energy to go out, you definitely didn't feel like wearing something hot. But you also knew Fives was relentless and if you walked out wearing jeans and a simple shirt, he'd march you back into your room and pick something out for you.

But maybe it wasn't a bad idea to go all out. After all, you were certain your ex had immediately gotten back out there after your breakup, in fact you were certain he'd gotten back out there before your breakup.

You shook your head in anger, then rifled through your closet, trying to find something that remotely resembled a club outfit, before you stopped at a dress Fives had gotten you as a joke. It was a cocktail dress, a bit short for your tastes with a deep v-shaped neckline, and of course in "501st Blue" as he put it.

You held it up to yourself, looking at it in the mirror, debating if it was a good choice or not.

"Hey you still have it!" Fives said, standing in the doorway.

You startled at the sudden intrusion. "Privacy?"

"You're taking too long. That's perfect, now put it on and let's go!"

Before you could complain, he closed the door behind him as he went back to the front room to wait for you.

You sighed and quickly changed into the dress before brushing out your hair and wiping away any remnants of yesterday's eyeliner, foregoing a new layer of makeup.

As you walked out of your room, you tugged on the hem of the dress, definitely too short for you, but before you had a chance to regret your choice, you felt Fives' hand on your arm, dragging you to the door.

"Can I at least put shoes on?"

He rolled his eyes, "I guess."

After you had thrown on a pair of black strappy heels, he was once again dragging you by the arm. You didn't even have a chance to fasten the straps, but you resigned yourself to having to figure it out in the cab.

"What's the hurry anyway? It's not like you have to leave tonight."

"I know, but it's never a bad thing to give ourselves more time."

"It's barely even dark yet," You pointed out as you exited your apartment building.

"Well maybe I told Echo we'd get something to eat first."

"Fives!"

"What? We're still going to 79s, just before it gets crowded and too loud for you guys to speak."

"How do you even know Echo will like me?"

"I just know." He flashed you a grin before hailing a cab over to you.

Once inside, you got to work on buckling up your shoes.

"Look," Fives said, his tone more serious than before. "Echo's a good guy, I obviously would never force you to meet him if I thought he wasn't going to like you, or if I thought you wouldn't like him."

"I know that," You told him, looking down at your lap, "I just... With the breakup and everything–"

"It's hard to put yourself out there again. I get it, but just... humor me, okay? And I swear, the second you tell me you want to leave, I'll get you out of there."

When you didn't answer immediately, Fives turned to you. His eyes met yours, seeing your hesitation immediately.

"We can turn around, it's not too late." He offered, his voice gave away that it wasn't really what he wanted, but you knew he'd hold to his word if you asked.

"I'm already dressed." You said, rolling your eyes slightly.

He leaned over and wrapped his arms around you. "I love you, thank you!"

"I know, now get off me." You joked, despite sinking into the hug.

The taxi stopped at the landing pad in front of 79's. You had barely had enough time to scan the area before you heard someone calling Fives' name.

You looked in the direction the voice came from and you saw him bounding over to you. As expected, he looked exactly like Fives, aside from his clean-shaven, tattooless face, and the prominent blue handprint painted on his chest plate.

He stopped in front of you, greeting Fives with a firm hug before looking to you.

You had caught him subtly looking you over, and for a moment you began feeling self-conscious about your outfit choice once again, but that melted when he extended his hand to shake yours.

"You must be Fives' friend, I'm Echo."

You gave him your name with a polite smile, taking his hand. "It's nice to meet you."

"Likewise, Fives has told me a lot about you."

You turned to your friend as if to ask what exactly he had been saying about you, but he changed the subject.

"Let's go inside, I'm starving!" He announced as he began walking toward the bar, leaving you and Echo to follow him.

Fives led the two of you to a booth, and once he had slid in, he stretched obnoxiously, forcing you to slide in next to Echo.

You ensured to keep your distance, trying to avoid getting too close to him, but you also made sure to give Fives a quick glare. He shrugged and grinned in response.

Once your orders were placed, Echo glanced to you.

"Fives tells me that you're a writer?"

"Well, trying to be." You admit. "I'm a journalist, but I want to write more creatively."

"What would you write about?" His curiosity is genuine, he didn't think he had ever met someone who wanted to write books before.

"Me, obviously." Fives chimed in from across the table. "I'd make an excellent hero."

You rolled your eyes, it isn't the first time he has indicated being the protagonist in a story you wrote.

You looked back to Echo and shrugged slightly, "I haven't really decided yet."

"Well, I can't wait to read it, whatever it ends up being." His voice was soft, he seemed excited about the idea, which is more than you could say for others.

Feeling warmth spread across your face, you looked back to the table quickly, just in time for your food to arrive.

The conversations were on and off as the three of you ate. They were mostly between Echo and Fives and you observed the two of them together, but occasionally you joined in as well.

Before long, your meals were done, and drinks had begun to be delivered to your table.

After one or two, Echo looked back and forth between you and Fives, before his gaze rested on you.

"Fives always talks about how good of friends you two are, but I'm curious, you've never... gone beyond that?"

You coughed into your cup before your laughter mingled with your coughing from the drink you inhaled.

"No," Was all you could say, and even that was strained.

You looked to Fives, who was laughing too. "I mean, I can't lie, look at her; she's beautiful. But, not my type."

Shaking your head at his compliment, you had finally cleared the liquid from your windpipe.

You looked to Echo and clarified. "Fives and I have been friends since he came to Coruscant, he asked me out, yeah, but we learned very early on that we were compatible only as friends."

Fives took another swig of his drink before giving you a knowing look. You raised an eyebrow as his focus turned to Echo.

"She's a bit too serious for me, y'know? Like she's smart, maybe a bit of a bookworm, would rather stay in and watch a holofilm, maybe that's why we work as friends. But honestly, she's more the kind of girl you like, Echo."

And there it was.

Your eyes widen slightly at his comment, before you attempt to drown your embarrassment with the remainder of your drink.

You can feel Echo shift slightly in his seat, and you decide it's a great time to go track down refills for the three of you.

Quickly getting up from your seat, you made a bee-line for the bar counter. Pushing through the group of clones that had begun to amass there.

You could feel their gazes upon you but you ignored them as you ordered drinks for your table and waited patiently.

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see the same blue handprint you had noticed earlier, and you turned to face Echo. He looked just as embarrassed as you, but he gave you an apologetic smile.

"I'm... That was uncalled for. Sorry that Fives embarrassed you like that."

You shook your head, "No, it's okay. Truthfully I saw it coming. I'm sorry that he put you on the spot."

"Don't worry about it. I mean, if anything, he's right."

His words took a moment to sink in, and the realization became present on your face as soon as they had.

"What do you mean?" You asked, trying not to jump to conclusions.

"I mean that, if how he described you is accurate, which I suspect it is, I'm the same way. This kind of place, it's fun, and I like coming here with the boys after a mission, but I prefer relaxing in my barracks, catching up on some reading, that kind of thing."

Before you could respond, another clone sitting at the bar turned to the two of you.

"Get a load of this guy, spends his time reading!" He slurred. "What a loser, you could do way better, doll."

He wasn't subtle about the way his eyes trailed up your body. He paused, looking at the hem of your dress, then his eyes continued upward, stopping at the deep-v neckline as he stared pointedly at your breasts.

You immediately felt yourself shrink away from his gaze as you could see him ogling you, but before you could say anything, you felt yourself being pulled backwards.

Echo had grabbed your arm and pulled you into him, shielding you from view while stepping between you and the other clone. He gave him a glare, but said nothing.

"You can't be serious, all that eyecandy for you?" The clone complained loudly. "Whatever, take the dumb chaakar back to your bunk and read to her. I bet that's why she wore that outfit." His tone was laced with sarcasm, and it wasn't lost on you.

Before either of you could react, the bartender arrived with your drinks. Both of you visibly relaxed and brought them back to the table.

Fives could tell something was up when he saw you approach, but Echo just shook his head, knowing that if he knew, his brother would cause something he'd have to clean up.

Echo slid into the booth first, and you followed. Once you were seated, still maintaining some distance from him, he inched slightly closer to you, resting his thigh against yours as a way to comfort you.

You took a sip of your drink and looked away from the table, not sure what to say.

Fives looked between you and Echo before you felt him nudge your foot from under the table. When you met his eye, he subtly nudged his head toward the door, silently asking if you wanted to leave.

You shook your head with a genuine smile and he relaxed.

"So what'd you guys talk about?" Fives finally asked.

"Insulting you, mostly." You answered, not skipping a beat.

"Only mostly? I'm offended."

"Not everything is about you, believe it or not." You smirked.

Echo took another swig of his drink. "I keep telling him that."

"If I had known this night would end up with you two teaming up against me, I'd have never brought you." Fives says with fake indignance, crossing his arms.

"You couldn't have expected anything different," you pointed out. "The two people who know you best, I'd say we make a pretty good team, wouldn't you agree, Echo?"

You smiled at him and he shifted in his seat a bit. "Y-Yeah, we do!"

With the drinks flowing, the three of you were able to continue your conversation, opening up more and more as the night went on.

You learned more about Fives that you probably could have gone your whole life without learning, but you also slowly started to get to know Echo.

It was almost as if you were both working on chipping away each others' quiet, introverted demeanors, until eventually, Echo chipped a bit too much.

"Fives had mentioned you weren't seeing anyone, it's not really my business but is there a reason for that?"

Your stunned reaction made him start to regret his question and he quickly back-pedaled. "That was a dumb question, you don't have to answer that."

"No, no it's fine I just..." You looked at Fives for support then back at your drink, before looking to Echo again. "I guess to make a long story short, my last partner cheated on me."

"A lot." Fives added in, earning a glare from you.

"I caught him with someone else, he tried to tell me it was nothing, that I was crazy for being upset, that I should have seen it coming, and every excuse in the book. Even accused me of cheating with Fives. But then the truth came out about everyone else he had been with." Your finger circled idly around your glass as you stared at the remaining liquid.

Echo was silent. It took a minute of silence before you finally looked over at him. His expression was something between confusion and anger as he processed what you told him.

"I..." He looked at Fives, "Is this guy still living?"

"Unfortunately yes." Fives answered, "Though I did ask if I could do the honours and kill him myself, but she said no."

"He wasn't worth the jail time you would have gotten." You said, your tone indicating that this wasn't the first time you had said it.

"I'm sorry." Echo looked back at you. His hand reaching out, then hesitating, then finally resting it on your shoulder. "I may not know you well, but from what I've learned and seen, it truly is his loss. I couldn't even imagine anyone throwing away a relationship with you."

You could feel yourself blush at his words, his voice was so genuine, he meant what he was saying. The way he looked into your eyes; maybe Fives was right and you would end up with a crush.

Fives looked back and forth between the two of you before smirking to himself and drinking the last sip of his beverage.

"I'm gonna go get us some refills. Be back in a minute."

After a moment, Echo removed his hand from your shoulder, but you were very aware of how his fingertips brushed your arm when doing so.

"So, what about you?" You asked after a beat.

"What do you mean?"

"Why aren't you seeing anyone?"

He rubbed the back of his neck. "Ah, well... it's kind of against regulation."

"So I've heard, but most of the people I've talked to seem to ignore that rule."

"Yeah, I guess I've just always been a stickler for the rules. And, I mean," a faint blush crept across his cheeks, "That clone at the bar wasn't wrong. Women aren't exactly lining up to spend time with me when there are more fun people out there."

"I'm here, aren't I?" You blurted out.

Once you realized what you said, your eyes widened and your gaze quickly turned back to your empty glass.

Echo chuckled quietly beside you. "Yeah, I guess you are."

You looked around nervously, not knowing what to say. You glanced toward the bar before looking back at Echo. "Fives has been gone a while, I think I'll go check that he can handle the drinks."

"You sure? I could go if you want, I don't want anyone to bother you again."

You smiled, appreciative of his concern.  "I'll be alright."

"If you say so," He shrugged, "I'll be here."

You gently rested your hand on his before you got up from the bench. As soon as he couldn't see your face, your eyes widened in panic wondering why you did that. Echo only stared after you, smiling.

When you approached the bar, you found Fives right away, leaning against the counter and talking to another clone as he waited on your drinks.

The other clone turned to you as soon as he noticed you approach.

Of course he was the same one as earlier.

"Back already?" He asked, "What, did he finally bore you?"

You rolled your eyes, and without looking at him, you replied flatly. "Quite the opposite."

Fives raised an eyebrow at your exhange, "Did I miss something?"

"Just glad I get to admire the scenery again."

You visibly cringed, but you did your best to ignore him as you focused on Fives. "I just came up to see if you needed help with the drinks."

Fives, still confused, nodded. "Yeah, sure. You gonna tell me what's going on?"

"Just some jagyc thinking he can take me home." You explained as if he wasn't right beside you. Your Mando'a wasn't great, but you'd heard quite a few insults in the time you've spent with Fives.

"What, you already get bored of Booksmart? Moved onto someone else? Or are you just some barrack bunny trying to get as many clones as possible?"

"Ease up, maybe you've had a bit too much to drink." Fives said with an uncharacteristically serious voice. "She's not interested, and the next time you insult her, you'll be doing so without teeth."

Before he could say anything else, the bartender arrived with your drinks. You took yours while Fives grabbed the other two, but you hesitated as you were walking away.

"Everything okay?" Fives was concerned when you suddenly stopped.

"Actually I–" You stared down at your feet.

"You want to go home? I'd understand, that clone was out of line."

"No it's not that... I just, need to talk to you."

He raised an eyebrow, "What's up?"

"There's not really an ideal time to say this, and as much as it pains me to admit... You were right. While you were up here, Echo and I started talking and... I don't know, he's sweet."

Fives' confused face turned into a grin as soon as you said he was right. "So what are you saying? You like him?"

"I don't know..." You could feel heat flooding your cheeks. "I won't make any guarantees, but I want to get to know him better."

"That could be arranged, leave it to me!"

Before you could say anything, Fives turned around and started walking back to your table.

"Wait, Fives, no!" You trailed behind him, terrified of what he meant. What was he going to do?

When you got back to the table and slid into the booth, you eyed Fives cautiously.

"So, Echo," Fives started and you felt a pit grow in your stomach. "Got any plans for after the mission?"

He shrugged, "Nothing out of the ordinary."

"I think you should change up your routine. Why don't you two go on a date?" Fives said, gesturing to both of you.

Your eyes widened and your knew your face had to be beet red by now. You couldn't even turn your head to look at Echo.

"Oh, really? Why us?" He asked, genuine curiosity in his voice.

"Well I mean, you seem to get along pretty well, you have stuff in common, I think you'd really hit it off without me sitting across from you."

Echo paused before answering again. He looked over at you and noticed you wouldn't meet his gaze. "What do you think?"

Slowly, you turned your head to face him. "I mean... if you want to, I wouldn't mind." Your voice was quiet as you desperately tried to hide your nerves.

He gave you a sweet smile, "Then I guess it's a date, as soon as we're back."

Fives smiled between the two of you then gave you a wink when you finally looked back at him.

"Where are you guys shipping off to, anyway?"

Fives shrugged, "Lola Sayu, some kind of fortress or something. Shouldn't be too long, it's just a retrieval mission."

"Do you want me to head to the landing dock tomorrow morning as usual?"

"Usual?" Echo repeated.

"Yeah she normally sends us off, maybe you've never noticed." He turned back to you, "I don't think you'll be able to this time, the general said we have to take an alternate means of transport."

Your shoulders sank slightly, "Oh, I see. That sounds interesting though. I'll just have to send you luck when we're done here."

Fives smiled, downing the last of his drink. "We should probably get going soon, early start and all."

You and Echo finished your respective drinks after him and nodded, slowly shuffling out of the booth, heading toward the exit.

There were more clones gathered outside now, and the cool nighttime air on your skin made you shiver.

Fives hailed a taxi as you and Echo hung back, not really sure what to say to each other now.

Once the cab arrived, Fives let you go in first, followed by Echo and then himself.

"Two stops," you told the droid before giving it your address, but you were cut off by Fives before you could tell it the second stop.

"Just the one stop."

You looked at him with an eyebrow raised in confusion.

"We won't see you tomorrow, I'm not accepting a half-assed goodbye from the cab."

You rolled your eyes, "Fine."

Once the taxi arrived at the landing dock outside of your apartment, the three of you left the vehicle, one after the other.

Fives scooped you up into a big hug as soon as you exited the cab, holding you tight against his chest. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders.

"Try not to miss us too much, got it?" He said into your shoulder. You smiled and tightened your side of the hug.

"Try not to get blown up." You joked.

You could feel him smile before he broke the hug, looking into your eyes. You rested a hand against his cheek gently.

"Comm me as soon as you can. And stay safe." You looked at Echo then back to Fives. "Keep each other safe."

"Of course," Fives replied before giving you a soft kiss on your forehead then stepping away so you could talk to Echo.

The two of you exchanged a slightly more awkward albeit friendly hug.

"You don't get blown up either." You told him with a half-smile.

"I'll try not to. We've got a date when I get back." He reminded you.

"It was nice meeting you. I'm looking forward to getting to know you better."

He smiled as his cheeks and ears flushed slightly pink. "Likewise."

You took a step toward him before kissing his cheek. "Stay safe."

"Of-of course." His hand rested against his cheek where you kissed him. "I'll let you know when I get back."

You smiled at him. Fives approached the two of you again.

"We should get back to the barracks, Rex won't be happy if we're too late."

"I don't want to keep you. Just, be careful. I'll see you both when you get back!"

You watched as they hailed another taxi and boarded. Once the transport was out of sight, you walked into your apartment building, already looking forward to the day they returned.

– – –

One night, a couple of weeks following your night at 79s, you were woken up to the sound of a fist slamming on your door. You jolted upright, hesitating if you should answer it or not.

You sat in your bed, trying to stop yourself from trembling as you waited with bated breath if whoever was at your door would knock again.

They did, only softer this time.

Slowly, you crept out of your bedroom, trying to make as little sound as possible before you finally made it to the front door. You pressed your ear against it, hoping to hear who was on the other side, but they didn't make a sound between knocks.

"Wh-who's there?" You asked, shakily.

"Please open the door, it's Fives." You visibly relaxed before unlocking and opening the door for your friend.

Before you could say anything, he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his chest, just as he did the night before he left.

"I'm sorry." He said, barely a whisper.

You backed away from his embrace and you moved to close and lock your front door, turning the hall light on once it was closed.

"I didn't know you were back, you should have commed me!" You told him, assuming his apology was for his extended time away.

"We just got back, I sent you a message but I guess you were asleep. I..." He looked down and you could see his jaw clench as he balled his hands into fists. "I couldn't..."

He trailed off and your smile fell. "Is everything okay?"

He looked away, not meeting your gaze, until you placed your hand on his cheek, forcing him to look at you.

"Fives, what's wrong?"

"It's... it's Echo." His voice broke slightly and you could feel the pain in your chest caused by his sadness. "I tried to stop him but he–"

You could see his eyes start to water before he could get the words out, and he melted into your palm. You pulled him into another embrace, gently stroking his hair.

"Why don't you sit down and tell me what happened?" You suggested. It was strange to see Fives so upset, in all the time you've been friends, you couldn't think of a time where he's been angry in front of you, let alone crying. You took his hand and led him to the couch.

Once he was seated, he brought his hand to his face, trying to sneakily wipe away tears as if he didn't want you to see them.

"Echo's dead." He said after a long pause. "Droids blew up our ship, Echo tried to defend it."

"I see." You couldn't think of what to say.

Words of comfort usually came so naturally to you, but you were speechless. It's true you didn't know Echo very well, even after your night out, but the news made your heart ache. You had been looking forward to seeing him again, to going on your date, and all of that had been taken away, but more importantly, Fives just lost one of his brothers.

You looked over at Fives who was already looking at you. He didn't know how you'd take the news and he was worried.

"I'm sorry, Fives. I didn't know him well, but he didn't deserve that."

"Him and I were the last of our original squad and now I'm alone, I couldnt even retrieve his helmet." He sighed, "And you were supposed to go out with him after, I told you I'd keep him safe."

"Hey, don't worry about me. I'm sad that he's gone, believe me, but I just want to make sure you're okay."

"I've lost brothers before, it's what we were created for, but... It's not right. Echo deserved to live."

"You all do. Just because you were created for war doesn't mean you have to just accept your fate or anyone else's." You shook your head. "It's late, and I don't want you to be alone right now. Do you want to stay over?"

"Yeah, that would be nice. Thank you."

"Of course." You leaned over on the sofa, kissing his temple before wrapping your arms around him. "We can talk more about it in the morning, okay?"

"Sorry for waking you up."

"I'm glad you did."

You stood up from the couch to grabs Fives a pillow and some blankets you had stored nearby for this exact reason. 

"If you need anything, help yourself. Get some sleep, okay?"

"I'll do my best."

You walked back to your room and laid back down in your bed. Suddenly the full wave of everything he told you hit you and you could feel your eyes water.

You didn't feel it was right for you to cry over someone you barely knew, it felt selfish to mourn someone you wanted to get to know better. You couldn't shake the thought of what could have been.

Your chest ached with sadness and longing, wishing he could have made it through. Fives was right, Echo deserved to live.

While you were alone you allowed yourself to cry for him, but you knew you had to be strong for Fives. He wouldn't forgive himself if he saw you cry, and he didn't need that guilt. You could get through this. You just wished you could see him again.

As you lay, staring at the ceiling, you heard a gentle knock on your bedroom door. You hastily wiped any tears from your face and turned on the lamp beside your bed.

"Come in." You called out, before the door opened.

Fives looked as though he wanted to say something, but couldn't voice it. He shied away in embarrassment before you offered him a gentle smile.

"If you want to stay in here, that's okay."

"Thanks..." he muttered before walking around to the other side of your bed. "I'm sorry I just.."

"You don't want to be alone, I understand. Come here." You invited him toward you with open arms, and he moved closer to you, laying his head on your chest. You gently stroked his hair.

"I'm sorry."

"There's nothing you need to apologize for."

"I shouldn't have asked you to come out with us that night."

"I'm glad I did. It's true that I didn't get to know him well, but I'm glad that I met him. And I feel more equipped to help you now because I did."

"You're allowed to be upset too, you know. You don't have to comfort me. Echo wouldn't shut up about your date, it was actually getting pretty annoying, I'm just sorry he couldn't be here for it."

"Thank you for telling me that." In a weird way it did make you feel better, and it helped that Fives could still make fun of his brother despite the circumstances. "I'll be okay, though. And I'll be here for you whenever you need me."

Fives smiled slightly and closed his eyes, allowing himself to finally find sleep, and you followed shortly after.

[speedybeta]

The sixth member headcannon was sooo good, pls make more 🙏

Being the 6th member of Beta squad Part 2

PART 1 , MASTERLIST 𖦹ׂ 𓈒 ／ ⋆ ۪

A/n: thank you guys for the likes on the first headcanon I appreciate it ♡

Warnings: none!! Switched up the style btw I'm improving

Being a member is fun but the thing that you hated the most was the amount of times you've been shipped with one of the others.

You'd definitely get shipped with Sharky most of the time. Sharky flirts with you the most while AJ does it the least

You'd constantly get called a "pick me" all because you're in the beta squad and the only female member but it's obvious the haters r just jealous

I imagine you having beef or something with a member from the sideman or amp as a joke (from sideman KSI and from AMP it would probably be Agent or Kai)

The other members of the beta squad definitely flirt with you a lot as a joke

"guess the gold digger (your name) edition they were a bit jealous watching while you went on a date with random men n that kinda made them realize that they all might have a thing for you

Kai cenat probably would have a little crush on you n try to make a move on you doing the Collabs

You were a guest on Kai's stream before, and just like tyla, he asks you out in front of the whole stream.. as attractive as kai is, you said no because he's obviously not looking for something genuine

Speaking of Collabs, they always made sure you weren't uncomfortable while collaborating with other YouTubers like the silent library video with amp

In the silent library video, of course some of the challenges were things you and the boys didn't really do on the beta squad, they of course said they'd switch cards with you in case you weren't comfortable doing a challenge

Like the weenie challenge, let's say you got the skull card and felt uncomfortable with doing it, they would of course do it for you

Living in the beta squad house was such a fun time

It was so hectic but fun

You felt so safe in that house

You kept the house tidy with the help of Chunkz

If you're a good cook, they'd beg for you to cook them something

Of course you would. especially for AJ since you didn't want him to order unhealthy food everyday

Whenever you were bored and one of the boys were home you'd just bother them like an annoying little sibling

Watching the lion king with Chunkz whenever you were bored and he was home (you guys watched that movie over 40 times together)

Brainstorming video ideas with Niko and helping him with videos for his channel

You and AJ playing video games together for house straight

Working out with Kenny or going with him for runs

You forcing Sharky to watch SpongeBob with you (just a random scenario I made)

They'd constantly come into your room just to annoy you (especially Niko or AJ) they act like annoying brothers who come into your room to move your stuff around, mess up your bed, then leaving without closing the door

So many arguments and bickering living all together

Even after you moved out, they'd still show up uninvited to your house

They always are there for you and never do anything to make you feel uncomfortable.

If you have anxiety or social anxiety the boys are always there to help you feel better

The boys know you so well, they can tell when you're feeling uncomfortable talking to someone. Like maybe a fan was making you feel uncomfortable, they'd jump into the conversation quickly and end it

If anybody ever tries to hurt or harm you during a video, let's say the pretending to work at a McDonald's drive through, they'd probably beat them up (mostly Kenny, Chunkz, Or Niko. AJ would stay close to you and make sure you're safe, I don't think AJ would jump in 😭 bur just like the video where the random hobo attacked the camera man and Niko and Kenny were there)

They'd Never leave you out or exclude you in stuff, they always invite you and never do anything without you

They always come to you for advice on girls since you of course give good advice (unless you don't)

If you're smart and always get questions right in the weakest link, quiz of the year, mastermind, etc chunkz would get annoyed for not being the smartest

Maybe back when you first started YouTube and met Chunkz and Sharky, fans would say you'd had a sibling bond with them (meaning you acted like siblings)

Niko definitely teases you the most. He comes up with the most random insults for you that make zero sense

AJ loves to bother you and acts like an annoying little brother. During filming, you two argue over random things which makes the videos more entertaining

Sharky flirts with you a lot. But besides that, he can sometimes act like an overprotective best friend.

Kenny and you laugh at anything and everything. Constantly hitting each other while laughing in videos

Chunkz and you break out into songs randomly. Even though all the boys tease you, he's second to tease you the most.

But you have a bond with each one of the boys, you have a close relationship with them all. There's no awkwardness between you and any of them.

♡━━━━━♡

I tried.. but thank you guys for the requests, I'm working on all the NSFW alphabets n everything else 💙💙 this was kinda random but I definitely would make three cause there's so many scenarios I could imagine 🐁🐀🐁🐀🐁🐀

[tiredsmashbros]

🍔 TIREDSMASHBROS INTRODUCTION

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ W E L C O M E ! ! 🍔🍟🥤

🌿 howdy! my name is tomm + tsb + tired. i use both he/him and they/them pronouns. i'm queer, demiboy + pan + aroace spectrum, and i am an adult, twenty-one ; jan. 10.

🪵 i'm a comic, furry, and multi-fandom artist. i specialize in digital art primarily, minor wood handcrafts, bracelets, or play on my silly harmonica. currently senior year in college.

🌻 i struggle with dyslexia, i apologize in advance for any minor grammar errors! i'm a bit slow responding to responses + mentions so i'd appreciate some patience!

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ F A N D O M S ! ! 🍔🍟🥤

SHOWS / FILMS 📺; {bold = fixated atm} ↳ my little pony, south park, animaniacs, looney tunes, mickey mouse, ducktales, felix the cat, bluey, total drama island, grojband, danvs, regular show, gravity falls, ninjago, teenage mutant ninja turtles, moomin valley, how to train your dragon, centuarworld, dragon ball, one piece, naruto, fullmetal alchemist, jojo's bizarre adventures, hlvrai, khonjin house, eddsworld, helluva boss, hazbin hotel, lackadaisy, trolls, better call saul/breaking bad, smg4, meta runner, murder drones, fairy oddparents: a new wish, popee the performer, the great gatsby, holes, the sixth sense, kingsman, matilda, beetlejuice, deadpool and wolverine

VIDEO GAMES 🎮 ; {bold = fixated atm} ↳ minecraft, five night at freddy's, cuphead, super mario bros, sonic, undertale, bendy and the ink machine, poppy playtime, baldi's basic, garten of banban, cult of the lamb, friday night funkin, pizza tower, parappa, amanda the adventurer, choo choo charles, epic mickey, rabbits, spyro, rayman, duck season, billie bust up, genshin, wuthering waves, god of war: ragnarok, red dead redemption

NOVELS + COMICS / MANGA 📚 ; { bold = fixated atm} ↳ scott pilgrim, warrior cats, garfield, charlie brown, ganbare nakamura-kun, heartstopper, goosebumps series, mashle, usagi yojimbo, promised neverland, beastars, show-ha shoten, gokurakugai, + above

MISC ; {bold = fixated atm} ↳ dawko, matpat, fuhnaff, coryxkenshin, dashiexp, isaacwhy + the group chat, (yep) the boys, sam and colby, cg5, peso pluma, welcome home, sherlock & co

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ C O M I C S ! ! 🍔🍟🥤

MARIO COMICS 🍄 ↳ DONE mario and luigi superstars ; sketch comic ↳ NEW !! DONE bowuigi rewritten ; sketch comic SMG4 COMICS 🧢 ↳ DONE smg34: lip bite prologue {part one} ↳ DONE smg34: lip bite : chapter one {part two} ↳ WIP [HAITUS] !! smg34: lip bite : chapter two {part three}

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ T S B : S M G 4 A U ! ! 🍔🍟🥤

🍔 my smg4 oc, TSB! a yellow, white, blue, burger-loving, cartoon individual with a propeller hat who's beloved for his silly, looney, and mania personality. stick around and attempt to uncover the mysterious lore hidden within this animated maniac! if you want to know more, check out his tags, comics, and spotify playlist !!

#tsb official ↳ all official art and posts made by me #tsb / emmet eggs + #pipedream + #tsari + #tsmg4 ↳ characters + ships #tsb askbox + #tsb theory + #tsb memes ↳ misc content ↳ official tsb reference sheet + official emmet reference sheet

↳ comic tsb: strange, unpredictable, dangerous ↳ comic tsb: smg4, why don't you trust tsb with tari? ↳ comic tsb: outfit change w/ mr. puzzles ↳ fanfic tsb: happy birthday, bluejay [2k] ↳ comic tsb: painting tutorial ↳ NEW !! fanfic tsb: memories part one ↳ NEW !! comic tsb: memories part two

💛 thank you for stopping by, and hope you have a wonderful visit !!

[lover-of-mine]

Looks like in their tags they are acknowledging the story flipped from Eddie to Buck. And of course it's better because Oliver and Tommy have more chemistry than Tommy and Oliver. But to make themselves feel better this was no invisible string. It's back to Ryan is homophobic who doesn't want to play it.. So we are the delusional ones.

I think you said it best when you said "Ryan has been begging to be paid to make out with Oliver". Like stop Ryan had always wanted Buddie. And so has Oliver!!

Here's the thing, I think I talked about this before, but Ryan understands Eddie in a very deep way (and since it always aligns with the shit I say about Eddie I'm gonna take the liberty to assume I'm right), and something about Eddie is that you cannot realistically give him a boyfriend and not make him acknowledge his relationship with Buck isn't all that platonic. Eddie would get kissed by a guy and be like "cool, I'm gonna go check if Buck wants to marry me" because the realization he's attracted to men would automatically translate to "oh shit am I in love with Buck" because my boy is not that slow, when he sees things, he sees things. Also, Mr I'm a nester wants a long term relationship, he wants to settle, he wants the house with the picket fence, he would go "oh damn men are an option" and trick Buck into dating him and wait for Buck to catch up. Also, I don't think a plot where Eddie gets kissed out of nowhere would go as well as it does for Buck, because as we keep saying, the thing Buck has with men in general, Eddie has with Buck. You can't really flip the story they wrote for Buck and reach the same results. There's also the way there is no way to give Eddie a boyfriend that doesn't trigger buddie because Buck would lose his shit and they would have to force Buck into a feeling realization or they risk Buck looking homophobic. There are many many many logical reasons as to why this storyline wouldn't work with Eddie. And obviously, Ryan is the captain of the buddie ship, he named us for heaven's sake. I said it before and I'll keep saying forever, Ryan has been begging for a chance to be paid to make out with Oliver forever, our boy just understands Eddie enough to know for Eddie is always gonna be Buck when he finally realizes he's queer.

[stationintern]

Hello all!

This month was, truly, a beautiful month for me reading-wise. The birds were chirping, I found smut that made me sweat, and I revisited some old favorites. Let's jump right in. I am so excited to share these with you. (Hence why I am posting this a day early.)

Strap in!

Dwelling On Dreams by @the-sinking-ship for H/D Big Bang 2021, 135k, E

I reread this fic this month, and it was just as delicious as I remembered. There are aspects of this fic that felt burned into my memory, so it came as a shock to me when I realized that the last time I'd read this fic was over a year ago. Everything about it feels so vivid. Harry's magic, his raw sexual energy. Draco's ability to make me scream at my phone and throw a mini temper-tantrum. I love flashbacks, and this fic has them in abundance. If you're looking for a thick read with complex characters and an interesting case to solve, look no further!

Hear Me Out by @rainstormradish for @dronarryfest 2024, 5.2k, E

I am pleased to announce that I have officially bought my ticket and jumped on the Dronarry train. You've all convinced me. This fic, in particular, is what really got the ball rolling. This was... immaculate. When I said I found smut that made me sweat, I MEANT IT. I had to, like, physically reconnect with my limbs after I read this. A bit of fake dating to start you off, and it only gets better from there.

The Way You Say My Name by InnerLilith 5.3k, E

Ya'll ever just bark at your phone? Sometimes, a girl just wants to read about Harry Potter going absolutely bonkers over Draco Malfoy calling him sweet little names. Very hot, very important to me.

Please hold. Your call is very important to us./Bloodlust and Bureaucracy by @goblinmatriarch 5k, T/8.5k E

DOUBLE FEATURE! I love the smell of wizarding bureaucracy in the morning. What a little world you have built! Authors who can create a new little piece of the wizarding world to explore mean the world to me. Very interesting in regards to how the medical system in the wizarding world relates to its real-world counterparts. Also, some biting action. Very smart, very hot.

Crossed Wires by @skeptiquewrites 11k, E

Critics are raving. "Literally ripping up the wallpaper in my home," says one reviewer. "Gnawing at the bars of my enclosure," says another. Bureaucracy lovers win forever and ever. Also, Draco gets to wear many suits. Harry Potter the reluctant politician. I couldn't have wished for more.

Our Objective Remains Unchanged by @citrusses 46k, E

BOATS, REPRESSION, MORE BOATS, EDGING (for sports purposes), EVEN MORE REPRESSION, AND WILL YOU BELIEVE ME IF I SAY THERE'S MORE BOATS. I don't know how you've done it, but you've managed to parallel the epic highs and lows of college rowing with the literal wizarding war. If that isn't talent, I don't know what is babe.

Truth or Dare? by @lettersbyelise 3.4k, E

There is truly nothing more intimate than jerking off your childhood rival while a party goes on around you. THAT, my friends, is the key to post-war, inter-house unity.

Borrowed Time by @the-starryknight for @dronarryfest 2024, 7.6k, E

Oh this was fire. What do you know about body swapping threesomes? Would you like to know more? Yes. Yes, you would.

Alrighty, I think that's all for now, folks. Very thankful to be in a fandom with so so so many talented people. You all blow my mind. Here's to another month of fantastic fiction!

See ya!

XX, Moon

[curlyjohnlock]

Hi,

I'm new to this. I'm genuinely curious how johnlock fandom happened. I watched sherlock and didn't notice any chemistry between them. I'm just trying to understand. And how do you feel about Ben and Martin not liking each other in real life? Thanks.

Hello anon!

The Johnlock fandom was born long before BBC Sherlock aired. I think there was a speculation about them in the late 1800s but, obviously, talking about homosexuals was out of the question at the time. But the ship took off in 2010, when it all started.

I have met several people in the fandom who told me they didn't notice anything romantic between the two at first viewing, but then they had to change their minds with rewatches.

Now, it must be said that the characters themselves constantly imply that the two of them behave like a couple.

1. Mrs Hudson

From the first moment, in A Study in Pink, she believes that Sherlock has brought his new 'boyfriend' home.

In The Empty Hearse, she can't believe that John is now engaged to a woman.

"So soon after Sherlock?"

"Hmm... well, yes."

"What's his name?"

"It's a woman."

"A wOmAn?!?" and then she laughs. She sounds rather incredulous, perhaps believing he is moking her.

"You really have moved on, haven't you?"

2. Mycroft

Nobody knows Sherlock better than Mycroft. In A Study in Pink, when he meets John for the first time, he says: "Might we expect a happy announcement by the end of the week?" and literally Sherlock and John met the DAY BEFORE! Why would Mycroft bother stalking a poor army doctor if he doesn't believe that Sherlock could be attracted to him? 🤷🏼‍♀️

In The Final Problem, Mycroft already knew that Sherlock would sacrifice him and save John. Sherlock loves John more than Mycroft, AND HE'S HIS OWN BROTHER!

3. Angelo [the restaurant owner in A Study in Pink (although I prefer the one in the Unaired Pilot, better known as the Gay Pilot)].

Angelo has known Sherlock for years, and why would he make Sherlock attractive to John? "Hey, you know this macho guy got me out of prison?" "OH! Wait! I'll get you a phallus candle, that'll be very romantic. 🥰😍😛"

4. Donovan

In The Great Game, when Sherlock finds the abandoned car, Donovan says to John: "I see you're still hanging around him. Opposites attract, I suppose."

This one may not be the best example, but it's worth including.

5. Irene Adler

My God that woman. She's in love with Sherlock, and that's fine. Who wouldn't fall in love with Sherlock or his brain? But she also knows that Sherlock only has his heart set on John. In A Scandal in Belgravia, when they go to her house, she immediately says to Sherlock: "And somebody loves you. If I had to punch that face, I'd avoid your nose and teeth too."

Then, when John goes to Battersea and meets her, she asks: "Are you jealous?"

"We're not a couple."

"Yes, you are."

Again, she met them for literally 3 minutes and immediately realised it!

6. Mary

Mary should hate Sherlock to death (and I'm still convinced that she never liked Sherlock).

What was that proverb again? Respect the owner's dog for your own sake. It means: like the dog to please the owner. Or something like that.

In this case, the owner is John and the dog is Sherlock. It's obvious that at a certain point Mary starts shipping them, almost as if she doesn't really care about John.

7. Magnussen

In His Last Vow, Magnussen meets Sherlock and John for a few minutes, and immediately tells them: "You two are sooo domesticated." Later in the episode, he tells Sherlock that John is "your damsell in distress."

I hope this was exhaustive from Johnlock's point of view! Maybe try looking at it from another point of view and rewatch the whole serie. At that point, if you're still not convinced, it's okay, anon, we don't bite!

Moving on to Benedict and Martin... we all know that Martin has a particular character and that he has trouble getting along with literally anyone, but I don't believe the newspapers. They are journalists, they HAVE to cause a SCANDAL!! Otherwise no one would read them. They take sentences from a completely different context and pass them off as true. Take for example when it was said that Benedict had called Martin 'pathetic.'

There is a video of this interview. The presenter asked Benedict to drink tea the way Martin drinks it, Benedict imitates him and then says 'pathetic', but it is not strictly intended to refer to Martin.

I know for a fact that Martin took it out on Benedict when he got married to Sophie Hunter, just because he didn't invite Martin to his wedding. On the same day, Amanda reported Martin's tantrums on twitter!!! 🤣🤣

Anyway! Even if the rumors were true, it doesn't matter. It's their problem, not ours.

Yes, it may upset us as fans, but these two are real people in the real life.

I'll conclude with this. If you have any other questions, feel free to contact me again! And anyone is welcome to comment on this or ask me anything. 👋🏻

[solomons-finest-rum]

Hello to one of my favourite Alfie fic writers! Since you're taking requests, I'd like to make one as well.

I don't know how it works but how about a scenario/imagine where Tommy gets in some kind of trouble (as always) and Alfie suggests that his lovely gangster wife could help and goes to introduce them but as it turns out it's none other than the Shelby's sister/cousin/relative/friend/or maybe even an ex? (Your call one this one) who they thought was dead or something?

Idk if it's even worth your time and effort but I just wanted to make a request ;) No pressure, of course!

Love you and your writing a lot!

“As The Crow Flies” (Alfie Solomons x fem!Reader) — PART 1

SUMMARY — By all accounts Anna Gray died in Australia and had no business standing in Alfie’s living room, nor calling the man “darling” for that matter. But there you were, identical to the picture they took when they shipped you off to the colonies.

AUTHOR’S NOTE — Thank you to @zablife for being the most gracious beta!💗💗💗💗💗 and thank you Anon for this request, because actually it inspired a full-blown multi-chapter idea! So this is set around... Season 5 I suppose? But I'm going to ignore everything in it and Season 6 too. Let's pretend none of it happened and just focus on the fun part! That is driving Tommy insane and making Alfie say outrageous lines.

WORD COUNT — 2,286

Masterlist

In retrospect, Tommy Shelby felt he should have known better. He should have fucking known that the moment, the moment, he came to Margate to sort the bloody situation out, exactly two things would happen.

One, he would have to sit and listen with a straight face to Alfie’s inspired monologue, the subject of which had swerved from elephants to bank robbery in about two and a half minutes, and then managed to touch upon just about everything else under the sun.

Tommy remained quite sure that the sense of Alfie’s rambling had been long lost to history and the point of it all was just to talk him to death, really. Put him out of his misery with nonsense alone.

“Now then, Tommy, as I said, right, I ain’t the vindictive type, I really ain’t, so I am gonna help ya out just this once, right, outta the goodness of my own heart.”

Tommy managed not to roll his eyes. Barely.

“‘Cause I am a changed man these days, Tommy, an’ it can be that the old man that I am, I’m goin’ soft on ya, right, an’ so tradition dictates, mate, to ask for more than ten thousand for my troubles.”

Tommy raised a brow.

“But as things currently stand with the medical bills, on the account of bein’ shot in the face by some cunt, right… Fifteen would sound proper fair, mate.”

Thank fuck for small mercies, Tommy thought, then lit another cigarette and promptly got up to leave. Alfie apparently managed to settle both sides of the conversation, negotiations included, and their American problem could very well sort itself out all on his own—thus proving to Tommy once more that the only thing he could really count on in this world had always been lunatics.

“Right, the fuck you’re doin’ now, sit down!”

Tommy frowned and remained standing, cigarette in the corner of his mouth and sheer outrage emanating from his entire person. The question of “what in fuck’s name do you want now, you crazy bastard?” overtook his face.

“Right, I need to make a bloody phone call,” Alfie said then, which explained exactly nothing.

Yes, that was the second thing Tommy had been so sure would happen. Alfie would first go on a tangent, then formulate a plan that involved three separate layers of deception, a bribe, and a crate of dynamite (probably).

Then Tommy would get caught in the middle as bloody always and Polly would have his head for going along with Alfie’s plan in the first place.

What he didn’t expect was for Alfie to change his tone of voice completely as soon as the person picked up on the other end:

“Yeah, darlin’, it’s me. Come to the house, alright? Right, ‘cause I need ya here for somethin’. No, not like the— Bloody hell, woman, just don’t fuckin’ argue with me for once, alright?”

Sometimes a rare occasion would present itself for Tommy Shelby to become fucking speechless. Truth be told, he remained rather surprised that two such occasions had also involved Alfie Solomons, undoubtedly purely for the Devil’s bloody amusement.

“Who was that then, Alfie?”

“None of ya fuckin’ business.”

Tommy had a sneaky feeling there wasn’t a clever enough question in existence that could have pushed Alfie to say anything more. He looked smug as hell for having pulled that stunt off so Tommy was willing to see it through.

For old time’s sake.

The sun was setting and they had another drink, then Tommy let Alfie go on another tangent about… Tea import. Perhaps. Who knew, he wasn’t really listening.

On drink three Tommy was alerted by a car pulling up to the house, followed by a door slam and a rhythmic clacking of high heels on the porch. Tommy looked to Alfie, but the man remained infuriatingly calm.

Just as Tommy was about to reach for his gun, the door to Alfie’s study opened unceremoniously and a scent of expensive perfume wafted across the room. Tommy turned around and tried his best to keep up the indifferent facade, but failed miserably. Nothing could have prepared him for you walking through that door, with a giant bodyguard no less, following you like a second shadow.

“Alright there, Billy?” Alfie greeted the bodyguard casually and the man grunted in response. “Right then, might ya wait in the car for us, mate? This whole bloody business will take a minute.”

Tommy then watched as Alfie approached you and planted an affectionate kiss to your cheek, at which point Tommy stood up abruptly.

For a moment he just stood there and stared; a state he didn’t find himself in too often these days. 

“Darling, are we having guests?” you asked Alfie in a tone so familiar to Tommy; so like your mother. Pleasant, on the verge of sarcastic. 

By God, either that Camden bastard was a magician or you had a twin sister that Polly never mentioned. Because it wasn’t possible… It couldn’t be you. Not according to the file he stole from the parish. By all accounts Anna Gray died in Australia and had no business standing in Alfie’s living room, nor calling the man “darling” for that matter. But there you were, identical to the picture they took when they shipped you off to the colonies. 

“Right then, Tommy, might I present my lovely wife,” Alfie said. “Sweetie, this here is Tommy Shelby, right, all the way from the ungodly place they call Birmingham—”

“Tommy Shelby?” you interrupted and looked at Tommy with a smile so like Polly’s that Tommy nearly lost his composure again. “My, my… And there you went and promised you were done with the life, Alfie.”

“Right, an’ how could that—”

“Anna,” Tommy interrupted what he was sure was a budding monologue from Alfie. 

“Yes?” you asked. “You know my name?”

“I… Know your mother.”

“Know?” There it was again. That curious smirk of yours that could really mean anything. Tommy found it harder and harder to keep up the charade.

“But that’s not possible, Mr. Shelby.”

“What’s not possible?”

Your tone remained polite, but your dark eyes said it all. The expression of quiet resolve Tommy thought only one person capable of delivering with such resentment.

“I’m an orphan, Mr. Shelby.”

Tommy said nothing to that, because what in hell could he even say? All of a sudden the American issue faded into nothingness, replaced solely by the phantom standing before him.

“So you did not lie, I see,” you turned to your husband with a quizzical expression, seeing as Tommy went quiet again. “He really is as strange as the papers make him. No matter, though, Mr. Shelby, I hope you like chicken? My husband insists I’m a terrible cook, but you must stay for dinner.”

Tommy nodded mechanically and put out his cigarette just to busy his hands with something. When he looked at Alfie, though, Tommy noticed how the man’s mouth twitched, clearly indicating the scheme was playing exactly how he wanted it to. Mad bastard, Tommy thought. There was no saying if he was being played or tricked or helped. Probably all at once, but solely for Alfie’s benefit of course.

“Right, curious as I am, luv, what delectable fuckin’ option you maimed and butchered for dinner, Tommy isn’t stayin’—” Alfie then stopped himself when two sets of identical Shelby scowls got directed his way.

Tommy did stay for dinner and made sure to clean his plate, too. He didn’t mind the food at all; it reminded him of Polly’s simple cooking back in the day when she would take care of Tommy and his siblings in Small Heath.

The more he listened to you talk and bicker with Alfie, the more of your mother he saw in you and the angrier he got at seeing you here of all places, as Alfie’s wife, unable to speak to you in plain terms. Tommy wasn’t exactly sure which made him angrier, though—the fact that you were Alfie’s wife or the fact that the sly bastard had kept you from your true family for who knows how many years. How did he even find you?

All the questions he had were still swirling around in Tommy’s head and he wasn’t particularly paying attention to anything else, besides staring daggers at Alfie. He was hoping there would be a moment to talk to you alone, but of course your husband would never allow it. He watched Tommy like a hawk the entire evening, sometimes with just a hint of a smile to suggest he was still three steps ahead of everyone else.

“See you never got accustomed to that fancy cookin’ they’re offerin’ ya at the mansion these days, Tommy,” Alfie said, undoubtedly truly enjoying the charade. “Tommy’s an MP, darlin’, right about two steps from gettin’ a knighthood I reckon. Yeah, a real prince he is.”

The way Alfie said the word was so clearly a jab at Tommy’s ancestry that he didn’t even flinch. What he was curious about was your reaction, but you remained perfectly pleasant: 

“Don’t tease, love, we haven’t had guests in ages and I’m not letting you drive this one away.”

When the maid took away the plates, you lit a cigarette in a swift overdone gesture and Tommy was once more taken aback with your resemblance to Polly. 

“Well, I’ll leave ya both to it,” you announced as you got up. “It was a pleasure, Mr. Shelby.” You extended your hand and Tommy shook it. “I know you tried your best with the chicken and I appreciate it,” you paused and tilted your head to the side as if sizing Tommy up.

“I rarely trust your husband’s judgement,” he replied.

The way you smiled reminded Tommy of a cat that got into the pantry. He decided not to think about it too much.

“I see. Goodnight then, Mr. Shelby.”

As soon as Tommy heard you got upstairs, he turned to Alfie who, unsurprisingly, already had a gun pointed at him. It was a casual way of it that was the most infuriating—Alfie’s hand was more so resting on the table and the gun just happened to be there, pointing at Tommy. 

“Now then, Tommy, let’s be reasonable about this, mate.”

Tommy clenched his jaw and remained silent, but his murderous glare said it all.

“There are four people at the house, right, includin’ you, me, my wife, then the maid… Then there’s Billy outside, right, who’s gonna be rightly worried once he doesn’t get my dismissal for the night. So I want ya to be real cold an’ calculated about it, Tommy, just like I know ya can be, ‘cause if ya decide to off me for no reason now…”

“No reason.”

“Right.”

“You’re old enough to be her father.”

“Yeah an’ fortunately I’m not, ‘cause that’d be right fuckin’ awkward at the temple, mate.”

“Temple?”

“What’d ya think, Tommy, that I smacked her over the head and dragged her into my cave?”

“Somethin’ like that.”

“Right, we’ll have to show ya the pictures then, she looked stunnin’.” Alfie leaned back in his chair. “Tell ya what, mate, why don’t ya come by for tea one day?”

“Tea.”

“Yeah. We have it, Tommy, we’re not animals.”

Tommy said nothing to that. He was still reviewing his options, but as he wasn’t a fan of spontaneous action, the patient approach seemed appropriate. The offer, though, just like everything else about the situation, was fucking infuriating.

“Cat got your tongue?”

“Fuck you, Alfie.”

That finally made Alfie smile and for some reason he lowered the gun.

“Right, so seein’ as we’re family, Tommy, and what a happy coincidence this is, I must say, I feel like we should talk fuckin’ proper. None of that shit.” Alfie then gestured between them as if he hadn’t been responsible for “that shit” in the first place.

“We’ve been talking, Alfie,” Tommy deadpanned.

“Yeah, but then there’s still somethin’ ya haven’t told me about your American troubles, isn’t there, mate, so I’m expectin’ you’ll be more honest with me in the future. Now that I’ve brought the right arguments to the table…”

The hint of a threat in that statement almost made Tommy wish he still had his razor cap around.

“She’s Polly’s only daughter, Alfie.”

“Right, I’m aware of that.”

Tommy nodded, feigning understanding between them. As always, handling Alfie very much resembled handling a live grenade without a pin.

“This can’t be the way to end things.”

“Who’s endin’ things, Tommy?”

“I’m just saying.”

“Yeah, an’ I’m going to let this one slide, Tommy, ‘cause you just got a lot to process, mate, so I’m prepared to be understandin’.”

Tommy shook his head and reached into his jacket pocket, at which Alfie uncocked the gun. Tommy slowly pulled out his cigarette box, but Alfie never even flinched. It was gruesomely reassuring to still have been right, even in the position that Tommy currently found himself in. 

Alfie Solomons would always remain Alfie Solomons, even with the whole song and a dance about getting old and senile. He was still the same mad bastard Tommy came to know all those years ago, and as things stood, Tommy found himself wondering if this time he shouldn’t try poison instead of a bullet.

“Tommy,” Alfie sighed, “with three good eyes workin’ between us, mate, I really would greatly mind if I somehow acquired a fuckin’ tumour in my lungs, too.”

Tommy said nothing and he knew Alfie hated it.

“Which means put that shit out, mate, and listen to what I’m about to say, ‘cause I got a feeling you’ll really wanna hear it.”