#hot girl summer this year is actually gonna be spent with me not being romantically involved with anyone according to my forecast

[tleeaves]

So many people I talk to want a bookish gamer girl who's quick and relentless with comebacks, is kinda depressed, is either alt/goth, and has ADHD or a hint of the 'tism in theory. 'Cause in practice they overlook a lot of those women. Wonder why that is.

[creativeashproductions]

Lost Time II // Luke Patterson

Summary: Weeks after discovering his greatest joy Luke visits his former girlfriend to make up for the lost time. Unable to do it alone his band gives their support to find her and stand by his side as he faces his greatest regret.

Warning: Talk of death, allusion to homophobic parents, teen pregnancy and angst

Words: 3.1k

The book Midnight Club by Christopher Pike came out in 1994 but to fit this fic the book came out in 1993. Also, Alex’s last name will be Mitchell in this.

*For the sake of the story the time frame has been altered, it takes place in the mid-2000s. Also! I tried to make the reader as generalized as I could to make sure that everyone can relate. The reader is Alex’s sister, for inclusion that can be biological, adopted, half or stepsiblings. I want to make sure all people can be the reader.

A/N: Jesus I love Ben with my entire heart and I am a cruel person to have ripped Luke and Ben from each other before they had a chance. Enjoy!

Part One

Masterlist

Los Angeles, 1993

A sunny summer day spent outside reading a new book that had come out recently nestled in your hands under the large tree. The tree that had many tire swings before your parents caved to get a swing set. Now the tree was a companion on lovely days providing shade under the hot sun.

Alex was at band practice with the rest of Sunset Curve in the garage, or studio as Luke deemed it. More often than not, you would be in the studio watching them rehearse, but things changed, things had gotten more serious with Luke in the past six or so months. Plus, Bobby seriously was someone you wanted the least amount of time spent with.

“Hey.” Luke sighed, dropped on the faded blanket you had settled on. Raising one finger, you finished the page before placing the bookmark in.

“Hi.” You grinned leaning in as he pressed a kiss to your soft lips, “Used my Chapstick again?”

Luke hid his face in the crook of your neck, “I’m addicted to it, or it’s just your lips.”

He snuck another kiss before nudging you to adjust lay against his chest between his legs, a familiar position. One where you could read a book, and he could wrap his one arm around you while he wrote in his songbook with the other. God, you loved the boy with your entire heart.

“How’s the book?”

“It’s okay.”

“What’s it about?” Luke asked, wrapping his arms around your midsection.

“Five terminally ill teens living in a hospice tell scary stories every night. They all made a pact together that whoever died first would have to try to contact the others.” You sighed, dropping the book beside you to rest your arms on his.

“Sounds depressing.” Luke hummed, pressing a kiss to your neck, “I can think of more exciting things to do.”

“Over my dead body.” Alex snickered walking passed the young couple on his walk to the house. Reggie following after him with a laugh of his own; it was still odd to see Luke so loved up.

“I was talking about going to a concert!” Luke called out as his friends entered the Mitchell house, leaving the couple alone.

“You totally were not.” You spoke already knowing the answer as Luke nodded his head, “It’s a shock he lets us be alone.”

Turning to face Luke, you couldn’t help the blush that grew from the soft look in his eyes that you had only noticed after he asked you out. The boy had had a crush for a long time even if it was awkward given the previous thing he had with Alex.

“He’ll have to get used to it.”

“So, have you gotten a gig at The Orpheum yet?” You asked, shifting again to nestle against his side content to spend the time there in the backyard.

“Nah, we booked some smaller venues, but we’ll get there. I know it.” Luke was completely confident that one day he would be playing in the most popular venues. The other thing he was confident was his relationship.

“Where will I be?” You spoke looking at the recently turned sixteen-year-old boy who had quickly become the most important thing in your life. Never expected to fall in love with Alex’s ex-fling.

“Cheering us on. Have to have my number one supporter and wife because she’s been there since the dream began. The dream just expanded?”

 “Wife?” You breathed.

“I’m not dating you just to date. I’m dating you because when I dream of my future, you are right there next to me.” Luke admitted caressing your cheek the pad of his thumb, “Wherever in the world, we find ourselves I want you there.”

“What about kids?”

“We’ll have as many as you want. Or however many we are lucky to have.” Luke breathed growing more excited as he finally revealed his ideas and firm belief, “Of course I want to be married first. After The Orpheum I want the next thing to focus one hundred percent on is a wedding that you deserve and-“

“Ask me.”

“What?”

“Ask me.” You raised to your knees cradling his face in your hands, “That’s what I dream of too. Having a career but something that lets me travel with the love of my life and my chosen family.”

“It’s not how I want…I want it to be special and romantic because you deserve it.” Luke adamantly spoke, pressing his hands on yours still resting on his face.

“Luke. I love you. Just sitting here like we are is special and romantic.”

“Will you marry me?” Luke whispered, leaning to press his forehead on yours. The orange beanie tickling your skin.

“Yes. As soon as I turn eighteen.” You didn’t care if you had two more years to wait. As long as Luke was by your side, you didn’t care about how you got married just as long as you married him.

Los Angeles, 2004

There are times that Reggie knows that the last thing people need is his goofy personality and jokes. When Luke returned from wherever he had gone, it was evident that something had drastically changed since the last time they had seen him.

“Luke?” Reggie gently spoke hesitantly moving to the boy curled on the couch, sobbing into his hands. Reggie had never seen Luke like this before, not even when it cemented that they had died and Luke’s future with Y/N shattered in a moment.

“Reg-“ Alex poofed in next going stock still at the distraught teenager. His eyes widened as he quickly made his way to Luke, “What’s wrong?”

“I-I saw Y/N.” Luke choked out, shaking his head, “I knew it would hurt, but it felt like I died again. Like I literally watched my hopes and dream just shatter before me.”

 Alex was quiet taking in that Luke had seen Y/N. Alex missed his sister with everything in him, but Luke had plans.

“How is she?” Alex whispered, grabbing the hands of one of his best friends in the entire world. The one guy he had wholly trusted with his sister’s heart.

“She looks so good. God, it’s been nine years for her but only a few weeks for me. She’s more beautiful than I remember.” Luke breathed, raising teary eyes to meet Alex and Reggie’s concerned expressions, “I also saw Ben.”

“She got married?” Alex questioned surprised, “Please tell me it isn’t Bobby. I don’t think I could stomach that.”

“His name isn’t Ben and he probably tried after deciding on a respectable time for it to be okay-“

“Reggie.” Alex hissed motioning him to stop talking while Luke knew that Bobby had had feelings for you, he didn’t think he would try anything.

“I don’t think she’s married, but Ben is definitely a big part of what I missed out on.” Luke sighed, picking at a loose thread on his jeans, “I’m sure you know that in the three years, I was actually alive and with her that things happened.”

“Things like…?” Alex trailed off having a feeling he wouldn’t want to know about whatever Luke was hesitant to announce.

“Um…well we were, I am in love.” Luke grimaced at how odd it was to word his feelings for a girl he had died while planning a future, “in relationships you show affection in particular-“

“Okay as you struggle to finish that I will.” Reggie spoke, turning to Alex, “Luke and Y/N as a couple were having sex.”

Alex’s eyes went wide at the blunt statement that he never wanted to hear again in his life because you were his sister! He didn’t need to even think of anything to do other than the kissing he sometimes walked in on. He knew already but didn’t want to know either.

“I died, leaving Y/N pregnant! Which I didn’t know about.” Luke shouted poofing to the other side of the garage when he saw Alex’s fist start to clench. He poofed to the loft when Alex appeared to his last place, “C’mon man!”

“You knocked my sister up!”

Reggie’s mouth dropped at the physical aggression that Alex was showing because Alex was more peaceful and non-violent.

“I didn’t know! He’s eight!” Luke yelped when Alex grabbed him in a headlock, “Dude! I didn’t know! We were gonna get married when she turned eighteen! I love her, man!”

Reggie pulled Alex away from the lead guitarist before a fight happened, and even though part of Reggie wanted to see Alex fight…he wanted Luke here as well.

Alex was quiet, “What does he look like?”

Despite the agony of not being there for his son Luke launched into a description of the little boy.

With a white lie out of Julie’s mouth, she had gotten the address from Emily and Mitch for Luke and Alex. The address led to a small house with pretty flowers and a bike in the front yard; the place where Luke’s son had been growing up in since he was two years old.

Julie’s fist raised, knocking on the white door listening as footsteps sounded on the other side of the door. The door opened, revealing a little boy with startling green eyes that he inherited from his father.

“Benjamin Lucas!” You huffed turning the corner with a frown, “You may be eight, but you are still not allowed to open the door alone!”

The little boy slouched at the greeting before his eyes met three boys behind the Peurto Rican pretty girl.

“Oh my god. He looks just like you!” Alex hissed to Luke unable to remove his gaze from his…his nephew. His attention pulled to the woman his sister had grown to be.

“Julie, right?” You spoke gently tugging Ben closer to you, “Can I help you?”

“Yeah.” Julie nodded, mumbled a thank you as you welcomed the girl into the small home you had made. It was small but perfect, “Did he get stitches?”

“Oh yeah! I guess you were there when he got hurt.” You nodded, moving a book from the couch for Julie to sit down. Your attention was on Ben as he went to the corner to play with toys, “He did. He’s kinda like my brother and his dad in that way.”

 “Oh, god.” The overly familiar voice snapped your attention.

Sitting on either side of Julie were exact replicas of three boys that tragically died back in 1995, everyone froze. Even Ben looked up from the tension.

“Mama?” Ben asked, furrowing his brow.

“It’s okay Ben. Can you go to your room?” You asked, staring pale at the two people that you hadn’t noticed before. They hadn’t been visible to you at the time until they sat beside Julie. The scampering of feet and the gentle closing a door left you alone with four people.

“She can see us.”

Mutely you nodded at Alex’s statement slouching into the couch in shock, “What is happening?”

“I found a CD in my garage, and I played it. Out of nowhere, Luke, Reggie and Alex literally appeared in the room. They’re ghosts.” Julie spoke softly, “I’m not sure how I can see them, but I can.”

“Wow.” You breathed leaning back into the couch, unable to tear your gaze from the three boys, “Let me guess. Your first order of business was haunting the hell out of Bobby?”

Bobby, Trevor as the world knew, had lived up to your predictions of him being a lowlife rat boy. If you didn’t have Ben, you would have gone after him, but you couldn’t risk what little you had at the time.

“He stole our songs,” Luke grumbled crossing his arms so like you remember from years ago. He was still the passionate, caring musician you fell in love with so quickly.

 “I know. I tried everything but with Ben…it was too hard, but hey he’s gotten little success from his new stuff. Guess he didn’t think of how stealing songs wouldn’t pan out.” You shrugged, twisting a ring on your finger that Luke gave you a few weeks after the spontaneous proposal.

“So Ben?” Alex questioned, leaning forward to rest his arms on his knees with great interest in the new topic.

The tsunami of happiness broke through the heavy fog of sadness when your favourite subject came around. Talking about Ben could go on for years you swore with the amount of love for him.

“His name is Benjamin Lucas Patterson. He’s eight years old and obsessed with music, they say playing classical music helps with mental intelligence. Still, he wouldn’t settle unless I played rock.” You laughed glancing over your shoulder at the closed door, “He adores Bear in the Big Blue House and Dragon Tales. Not fond of Barney or Sesame Street but he’ll still watch it.”

The guys ate it up listening to every detail of a little boy they missed even if they only recently learnt about him. Reggie was silent listening to your stories of the young boy.

“His prized possession…come with me.” You gestured turning to head to the bedroom, “I didn’t ask for a lot of baby stuff, just the essentials and anything someone could make. Sunset Curve. You guys were significant to us, so I wanted Ben to have that.”

Ben was settled playing with the cars by his toy chest barely glancing as four people came together. Julie decided to stay in the living room. With a hand, you grabbed the blanket Ben absolutely always needed. It was a homemade blanket made entirely out of clothing—one of Reggie’s flannels, a few shirts from concerts with Luke and clothing that Alex loved.

“Y/N,” Alex spoke, brushing his fingers over the worn material touched at the action of doing something so little yet powerful.

 “I’m going, to be frank. After you died and I went to your fun-“ the word choked you as if you were back in 1995 sitting beside your mother wearing that black dress; a dress you burnt in the bathroom tub, “Mom found the test in my room. Rookie mistake. They weren’t thrilled about the baby and who the father was.”

“They kicked you out?”

“And Luke’s parents immediately welcomed me into their home. I owe them a lot, and Emily made this for Ben, she may not have approved of the band, but she knew it was important, so she wanted Ben to have a piece of his father’s greatest joy.”

“Mama? Can we have burgers tonight?” Ben asked quietly from his toys, “Can they stay for supper?”

Ben was shy with new people, but once he got to know someone, he was just like Luke with his bubbly and passionate personality. He was the spitting image of Luke with his hair and eye colour, but he got your nose and skin colour.

“If they want to.” You smiled, reaching over to pull the eight-year-old into your arms only wanting him to never grow up.

Alex, needing a break from the grief, wandered to a picture hanging on the wall that was a shadow box with his very first drum sticks. Underneath was Reggie’s old necklace that had to be replaced. Lastly underneath was the very first pick Luke used for the first song the band had performed.

“I’m Ben.” The boy spoke, meeting the eyes of the newcomers, “You’re the band that passed away, right?”

“Yeah. This may be confusing but Ben this is Alex, Reggie and Luke.” You replied, brushing his bangs away from his eyes. Ben returned to his quiet nature before looking at your eyes.

“That’s my family, right?”

In perfect sync, Alex and Luke started silently crying at the little boy’s words wishing that that night had never happened. It seemed at the time the right way to start the new chapter with one last street dog.

 “Yeah, baby.” You cleared your throat nodding along to the innocent words your son spoke before he was wandering out of the room, “One hour of cartoons young man.”

“I’m gonna go.” Reggie spoke gesturing after the boy, “I wanna watch Cartoons.”

Reggie poofed out of the room following the little boy out of the room, leaving three sad people. The room was heavy in loss, so sad it could choke a person.

“Does Mom and Dad have anything to do with him?” Alex asked as the boys covered their grief by wandering around the bedroom. Taking in the pictures of Ben from throughout the eight years, some with you or with his paternal grandparents. Few had Alex and your parents.

“They moved a few months after you died.” You admitted, “After the way they reacted to Ben I didn’t want him in that environment. We get Christmas cards and calls on his birthday, but I don’t have the time to travel.”

Alex nodded vividly remembering the way they reacted after he had told his parents that he didn’t like girls. It was challenging since Dad was always excited for the family name to be passed down, he didn’t see that the name could continue no matter who Alex loved. Mom was more open but stepped in line with her husband instead of her hurting son.

“I’m sorry.” Luke blurted stepping closer to you, allowing you to see the ocean of tears and pain swimming in his tortured gaze, “I shouldn’t have gotten that street dog. I should have stayed with you, you weren’t feeling good.”

“Things happen for a reason, Luke.” You sadly reminded the boy, “I wish it didn’t happen, but it did, and I’ve learned to live with that. Ben has a wonderful family and a good life.”

“He knows about us too,” Luke spoke, thinking back to barely half an hour ago when Ben acted as if he knew Luke all his life. God, Luke wished he could have seen everything.

“I have videos of Ben if you want to see them.” You offered the boy, “There’s a television in the den where Ben has his baby book, and the home videos if you want. You can stay in there all you want.”

Luke nodded, playing with his fingers, “I’d love that.”

“If you want to be alone, I can take Ben for ice cream. You can have the whole house to watch alone.” You graciously offered the boy you would always love and believed before that you would see him in decades after your own death.

Luke silently nodded following as you took him to the den where it had a child-sized guitar and floor to ceiling bookshelves. A television was tucked in the corner with a video camera stored on a shelf with a VHS player. In a sealed container, the home videos were kept safe along with the baby books.

“I’ll be back in a few hours. It’s nice to see you, Luke. Really.” You told the now younger boy keeping his eyes on the opened bucket. A bucket that held all the firsts he had missed out on a little boy he had loved since first seeing him in his family home weeks ago.

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[boyy-wonder-grayson]

Dust in the wind (part 1)

Summary: Dick and the reader are celebrating their wedding went something unexpected happens. This is basically the plot for infinity war but with Dick.

Requested: yes by  @bub

Parings: Dick Grayson x Reader

Warnings: angst, character death, implied smut but nothing really

Notes: Sorry for any mistakes and thanks for the awesome prompt i’m happy enough with what i came with so hopefully you guys enjoy it too!

*gifs belings to @riseofnightwing​

The dark blue curtains billowed as the gentle breeze of the morning summer came pushing through them. Dick had just woken up from a deep sleep that left him surprisingly well rested. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and grabbed his phone from underneath his pillow. 7.45 am it read, it was still early to start the day, so he stayed in bed for a little while. He soon fall asleep with the sound of the waves crashing down into the shore. He woke up, for the second time, around 10 am. He felt a hot body pressed to his side and when the sleep finally left his body, he realised that his girlfriend was clinging onto his side. One of her arms was draped across his chest while the other was underneath her head. She was snoring lightly -a fact she would deny till death- and her hair was sprawled on her face. Dick chuckled at the sight of the sleeping woman and pushed her hair out of her face trying hard not to wake her up, but failing. She stirred awake and looked at Dick with a sleepy grin on her face "morning you" she said moving closer to Dick despite the hot weather. He couldn't understand how she was not dying in this heat, it was 10am and he was already sweating. Dick didn't like hot weather. At all. But he was not going to complain when her best friends and teammates decided that he and Y/n needed a well deserved vacation from the craziness that San Francisco had to offer on a daily basis. 

"Wanna go get breakfast?" He asked her kissing her forehead and untangling himself from her grasp to get a better look at her. Even with her hair sticking up in all directions and her eyes half closed, Dick thought that she was the prettiest girl in the world. 

She grumbled in response and rolled over to get out of the bed 

"I'm gonna take a shower" she said rummaging through her clothes looking for something clean enough to wear. They were on vacation there was no way they were doing laundry. "And you're joining me" she finished looking over her shoulder and throwing Dick a seductive wink. This made Dick sprint to the bathroom running after her. She squealed when Dick picked her up and threw her  under the cold water. 

He lived for moments like this; where the only thing that could happen to them was to run out of food. Dick promised himself, and her, that they would make the most out of this mini vacation, and he was going to fulfill that promise. 

He got out of the shower first, leaving her alone to actually take a shower. With a towel around his waist he sat down in front of his bag and looked through it for the black velvet box. Inside of it was a beautiful ring. He put it on his jeans pocket and got dressed.

That day he was going to propose to Y/n. It's been long overdue and he was scared shitless, but excited at the same time.

After a big breakfast that included almost everything on the menu -because they were on vacation goddammit they were going to eat until they exploded - they decided to go to the beach to enjoy some summer sun and maybe swim a little bit.  They picked a spot away from everyone and settled on the sand. Dick wasn't a fan of the beach to be honest, but when she gave him puppy eyes and pouted her lips there was no way in hell, he would say no. 

It was night time when Dick's plan took action. They were going to eat at some not-so-fancy-restaurant and when the night would come to an end, he would propose.

Nearing the end of the evening, Dick and Y/n walked hand in hand on their way back to the hotel. Dick kissed her intertwined hands and stopped in front of a little plaza near the hotel. The place was beautiful, full of flowers and trees. 

"Y/n I've have been meaning to ask you something and to be honest I don't know how to start" he laughed "we've been together for almost four years and they were the happiest four years of my life" he said looking at her straight in the eyes.

"Yeah they were okay" Y/n joked making Dick rolled his eyes

"I'm trying to be romantic here" he complained trying to suppress a smile.

"Like I've said, those four year have been the best of my life, and it all comes down to one essential factor in my happiness: you" he reached inside his pocket for the back box. He kneeled in front of her and Y/n was trying real hard not to cry, but failed miserably. 

"So what do you say? Will you marry me?" He asked. Y/n was sobbing by now, trying to contain her happiness but it was just too much. She nodded furiously and let Dick put the beautiful ring on her finger. He got up and pressed a kiss on her mouth a wiping her tears away, trying not to cry himself.

"I love you so much Dick" she said kissing all over his face. "So, so much".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's been three months since Dick proposed to her and the preparations for the wedding where making her insane. There were so many things she needed to take care of. The venue, the cake, flowers, everything, and the most important item: the dress. To be honest she wasn't really expecting to ever get married specially in her line of work. Heroes don't tend to live enough to get married and have a family, but for some divine reason she got lucky enough to meet Dick. 

It was a good thing her father in law was a billionaire and offered to take care of all the expenses. Still, she didn't want a big wedding. Just the team, Bruce and of course Alfred. She didn't want to draw unwanted attention either. A superhero wedding? Yeah that kind of stuff draws the attention of the worst kind of people, so she opted for something simpler. Dawn and Donna and even Rachel helped her with most of the details,like which flowers did she want for her bouquet,or what kind of flavour the cake was going to be. Doing this kind of task gave her a sense of normality that she didn't have much of in her life. None of them had it, so everyone jumped to the opportunity to take their minds off of their hectic lives.  Even the boys would help.

Y/n was getting already under the covers when Dick got out of the shower. She was too engrossed with whatever was on her phone that she didn't realized that Dick had been staring at her for the past minute. When she finally put her phone down she noticed the weird look in her boyfriend's eyes

"What's up?" What are you looking at me like that?" She asked confused

Dick chuckled and moved closer to her "nothing it's just,I still can't believe we're getting married" he said looking down.

"I mean that sort of thing doesn't happen to people like us you know?" He reflected looking at her with soft eyes "ever since I started doing this-this job I never thought that I'd ended up engaged with the most beautiful woman on earth"

Y/n rolled her eyes trying to hide the fact,that even after four years Dick still managed to make her blush "you're a sap" she giggled "but I understand what you mean,I think the same way. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever met Dick" she laughed at the last part making Dick playfully pushed her, so her back was now flat against the mattress. 

"Mm you really think I'm the most beautiful ?" He asked kissing her neck

"Of course babe, the prettiest" she laughed, but soon turned into a tiny moan when he bit down her neck 

He kept on kissing down her neck all the way to the valley of her breasts. Y/n sighed in content. She couldn't get enough of him.

Eight months later

" Are you nervous son? Bruce asked fixing Dick's bowtie, just like he used to whenever little Dick attended a gala. He appreciated Bruce being here, truly. 

"A little, but that's good right?" Dick asked looking at himself in the full length mirror.

Bruce laughed at his son and patted his shoulder "it's perfectly normal, it's not everyday someone like us gets married, so it's always a blessing" he said reassuring the brown eyed boy.

Dick nodded and gave Bruce a hug before he went to see her new daughter in law. Jason bursted into the room telling his brother that it was time. He was getting married today, and he couldn't be any happier.

Dick stood on the altar anxiously tugging at the sleeves of his black tuxedo. When the music started to play he looked up and he swore he had died and went to heaven. There she stood with Bruce on her side. She had asked her if he could walk her down the aisle and Bruce was touched by the proposal. When she reached Dick he couldn't help but shed a few tears. She looked beautiful in her white dress that she spent months looking with Dawn and Donna's help. 

She gave her bouquet to Donna who was one of her bridesmaids along with Dawn. On Dick's side Hank and Jason stood behind with huge smiles. Everyone was happy for them,truly.

It was halfway through the vows that something went wrong. Really wrong. 

Y/n was the first to notice, because she felt it deep inside. The panicked didn't seem to wait much longer to break. 

"Dick what's going on!?" Y/n asked walking closer to his soon to be husband

"I don't know" he replied clinging onto her for dear life "we need to get out of here now!" He screamed the last part for everyone to hear. 

They didn't make it too far from the altar before Y/n tripped making Dick panicked as he tried to pick her up, but she felt like dead weight.

"C'mon baby get up we need to leave" he said grabbing her by the waist,but Y/n shook her head.

Dick tried again, to lift her up but to no avail. She couldn't move

"Dick I'm scared" she cried as he desperately tried to wipe her tears away.

"It's fine,I promise it's okay" he shushed her. His watery eyes made it difficult for him to look at her. She took her last breath before she became nothing but dust. He didn't understand what just happened. He looked around and saw that it wasn't only her that had disappeared. Dawn, Rachel, Jason. They were all gone. Dust. 

He grabbed a fistful of ashes that only moments ago were his girlfriend. 

This wasn't supposed to happen, they were supposed to get married and have a long life together. Dick screamed and cursed at God, at the sky or whoever did this. 

He felt a hand softly touching his shoulder and saw a concerned Bruce, who was just as confused and scared as Dick. 

"I don't know what happened here son, but we need to leave. Now" he said making Dick stand up

"No!I can't leave what if she gets back?I need to be here, for when she gets back!" He cried yanking a fistful of his hair. Trying desperately to make sense of this situation. They've never faced something like this before. 

"Son i understand but she's g-" Bruce was cut off by Dick's harsh response

"Don't you dare say it Bruce!" He cried "she's not gone, she can't be" he shook his hand as he finally broke down and fall into his father's arms. 

He was getting married five minutes ago and now the love of this life was dead and he couldn't understand why.

[sanderssidesfanfiction]

If There’s a Place I Could Be - Chapter Eighty Seven

If There’s a Place I Could Be Tag

June 25th, 2003

“You’ll do fine, Remy, I promise,” Toby’s voice soothed him over the phone. “We both know that Emile isn’t going to say no.”

“I know,” Remy whined, pulling at his hair. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not scared as all hell, Tobes.”

“That’s why I’m telling you the truth,” Toby said. “Emile’s going to love whatever you do, no matter where you do it. It’s gonna happen. And he’s going to say yes. He loves you, dipshit. That’s not up for debate.”

Remy sighed and massaged his forehead. “God, Tobes.”

“I know. But you’ll do wonderfully, I’m sure of it,” Toby said. “I believe in you.”

“Thanks, Tobes.”

“Anytime, Rem.”

  June 26th, 2003

Remy blearily opened his eyes, and checked the clock. Half an hour before his alarm was due to go off. Not long enough to sleep in more, and just a tad too early to be happy about it. He turned off his alarm and slipped out of bed, getting dressed for the day as quietly as possible. Emile was still asleep in bed, and Remy loved getting to see Emile at peace, mouth just open enough to breathe, his curls wildly spread on his pillow. He didn’t get to appreciate it often enough.

Slipping into his office, he pulled out the bottom right drawer and took out the ring box. Today was the day of the coffee shop interview, and Remy wanted to propose as it was wrapping up. Business at the shop was booming, and Remy wanted to make sure that everyone knew he was taken.

Remy then went downstairs and put on the pot for coffee. He looked out the kitchen window. It was shaping up to be a hot summer, but he didn’t mind. After all, Sleep Easy had air conditioning, and that was going to be where he was spending most of his time nowadays.

He couldn’t help it, a smile broke across his face. He was his own man. He made his own hours, he made his own shop. Emile bought the property, but Remy had made it well and truly his. And he couldn’t be happier.

Frantic footsteps sounded down the stairs and Remy turned to find Emile at the edge of the kitchen, staring at him. “You’re never up this early,��� he said.

Remy shrugged. “Couldn’t exactly go back to sleep, I got up ten minutes ago. You okay?”

“Nightmare,” Emile breathed. “God, you were dead, and instead of you I was dating this girl, she was called Vanessa although I doubt she’s actually what your sister looked like. That’s who she was in the dream, though. And I kept asking her where you were, until she told me you never made it through freshman year and—” Emile cut himself off, breath ragged and shaky. “I keep getting those nightmares and I don’t know why. But then I woke up and you weren’t there and—and—and I just...”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Remy said, wrapping his arms around Emile gently but firmly, reminding his boyfriend that he was here. “Nightmares happen. But I’m still here. Understand? I’m still here.”

Emile nodded into Remy’s shoulder.

“Now, you need your glasses, and you need to get ready. We’re both headed to the shop for the interview, remember?” Remy asked.

“Yeah,” Emile said, yawning. “It’s the only thing you’ve been able to talk about all week.”

“Guilty,” Remy laughed. “Go upstairs and go get changed, okay?”

Emile nodded, mumbled, “Love you,” and went back upstairs.

Remy poured himself some coffee and sipped out of the mug for a minute. He wanted this all to go exactly to plan, even if he knew that was wishful thinking. The reporter would say, “That’s the last of my questions,” and then he would say, “Actually, Emile, I have a question for you,” and get down on one knee. The thought made him positively giddy.

Emile came back downstairs, and this time, he was every bit the poised, if overexcitable, boyfriend he had grown to know and love over the past three years. “How do I look?” he asked.

“Handsome as ever, mio amore,” Remy said with a smile.

“Thanks,” Emile sighed, and Remy could see the tired, fearful cracks in Emile’s facade. “I feel like I only slept for two hours last night.”

“That will happen,” Remy allowed. “But today’s a good day. We’ll make it good if we have to, but it’s going to be a good day.”

“Oh, I don’t doubt that,” Emile said, nodding. “You and this interview, it has to go well. You’re so enthusiastic about the shop it couldn’t be anything but great.”

“Shut up,” Remy laughed. “There are ways it could go wrong. We’re not gonna focus on that, though.”

“Agreed,” Emile said.

The two of them grabbed their things and headed out to the shop. Remy opened the door for the workers to file in, and by the time everything was set up, there was a small line waiting, the first in the line being the reporter. She had a small, but genuine smile on her face as Remy took her order before they agreed to head outside for some pictures and the interview.

She pulled out a recorder and started the interview, the general niceties got out of the way, and Remy introduced Emile to her, letting her know that they were partners and he would be staying for the duration of the interview. “That’s fine,” she said, nodding. “So, Mister Picani, why don’t we start with the obvious: what drove you to make Sleep Easy?”

Remy laughed. “Believe it or not, it was a streak of bad luck at my last jobs,” he said. “They seemed dead-set against making me a manager, even though I knew what I was talking about and I had ways to improve the shops around here to waste less coffee and be more time efficient. We both know all too well how long the lines get around here.”

“That’s true,” the reporter laughed. “So you decided to strike out on your own?”

“Emile was the one who encouraged me to do it,” Remy said. “I’m numbers-savvy according to him, and he said I had the know-how to do it. Not getting promoted was just the kick in the pants to give it a try.”

“And that worked out really well, obviously,” she said.

“Indeed,” Remy said with a grin. “It’s worked out better than I could have hoped.”

Emile was fidgeting next to Remy as the reporter brought out a camera and kept asking questions. They got into talk about behind the scenes of business, and Remy admitted he spent hours upon hours of accounting work, which he hated, but he said the end result in this case was worth it. Emile got more and more fidgety as time went on, and just as Remy was about to ask if Emile was okay, Emile cut in. “Hey, Rem, I have a question for you,” he said.

“Babe, you know all of this already, I talked it over with you,” Remy said, confused. He had ranted to Emile enough times that Emile really should at least get the general idea of these answers.

“Not that kind of question,” Emile said. Emile reached into his pocket, pulled out a ring box, and the entire world seemed to pause as he got down on one knee. “Do I have to say the words? Because I realized I could never make a romantic speech for you, so I decided to cut to the chase.”

Remy’s face broke out into a grin as Emile opened the ring box. Oh my god, this is actually happening! Oh my god! “Of course I’ll marry you, Emile!” he laughed. He reached into his own pocket and pulled out a ring box of his own. “Great minds, huh?”

Emile laughed, stood, and kissed Remy deeply, which the reporter happily took pictures of, congratulating them on the engagement as well as the success of the store. “Thank you!” Remy exclaimed. “I am a little disappointed he beat me to the punch, but I can’t be too mad about it.”

“You two both planned to propose at the same time, what are the odds?” the reporter laughed. “Congratulations. I actually don’t think I have any more questions for either of you, and I think the engagement pictures would be perfect for the newspaper. I’ll fight tooth and nail for them to include it.”

“Appreciate it,” Remy said, still draping himself over Emile.

“Thank you both so much for your time, and for the coffee!” she said, raising her cup to the two of them.

Remy laughed and waved her off, his engagement ring glinting in the sun. He looked down at it with a stupid smile on his face. “Oh my god,” he breathed.

“My thoughts exactly,” Emile said, looking at his own ring, which Remy had chosen for him. It was eerily similar to the silver band Emile had gotten Remy. “I didn’t realize that when you asked me about my class ring, you were getting my size.”

Remy laughed. “What can I say?” he asked. “I really, really wanted to make sure I got this right.”

“I did, too,” Emile said. “I can’t believe it.”

“Even if it’s not legal yet, I’m super looking forward to marrying you,” Remy said.

“Oh, you didn’t hear?” Emile asked. “They’re contesting for gay rights in the Supreme Court.”

Remy froze, those words trying to sink in and not exactly registering. “What?” he asked.

“The state of Massachusetts? Their Supreme Court is holding hearings for the appeal of the Goodridge case,” Emile said.

Remy’s heart was practically thudding out of his chest and his eyes were getting hot. “But...if they win, that means...that means...”

“We could get married up in Massachusetts,” Emile finished with a grin. “And I don’t know about you, Rem, but I have a good feeling about the case.”

Remy blinked and a few tears fell as he put his hand to his mouth. “Oh my god. I was planning on proposing as a symbolic thing. I didn’t...I hadn’t been keeping up with the cases after DOMA hit. There’s a chance...?”

“There’s a chance,” Emile confirmed. “And we’re going to seize it and use it for all it’s worth.”

Remy broke out into a watery grin, kissing Emile. “Let’s go into the back of the shop, call the people who need to know, yeah?” he asked.

“Sounds great. I know my parents are gonna flip,” Emile said with a laugh.

Remy laughed along with him and the two went inside. Remy stuck his hand up, showing off the engagement ring. “I got engaged, everyone! We said yes to each other!”

The staff all cheered and clapped, and half the patrons did, as well, though they looked significantly more confused. “Who did it first?” August asked. “Which one of you got the balls?”

“I did!” Emile exclaimed, proudly. “I beat Rem to the punch for once in my life!”

August laughed and gave him a high-five as they went to the back. “Did everyone know that you were planning this?” Remy asked.

“The people who were important to you weighed in on my decision,” Emile said as Remy pulled out his cell phone. “Of course they knew.”

Remy rolled his eyes and dialled Toby’s number, still feeling a little heady from it all. Toby answered on the second ring. “Don’t tell me, Emile proposed, didn’t he?” Toby asked with a smug grin in his voice.

“Oh, you asshole!” Remy shouted down the line. “You knew, too?!”

“I gave him the idea, actually!” Toby said with glee. “Put me on speaker!”

Remy did so with a huff.

“Hey, Toby!” Emile chirped, laughing.

“Hey! My baby brother give you a ring, too?” Toby asked.

“How did—” Emile cut himself short. “We both came to you for a pep talk?!”

“Twenty minutes apart,” Toby said, laughing himself. “And you both had zero clue.”

“Oh, my god—” Emile exclaimed, turning away before turning back to the phone. “But yeah, we’re officially engaged. And we’re going to have a result on the Massachusetts case by the end of the year, so...be on the lookout for an email from me saying what color your tux should be, all right?”

“Yeah, sure,” Toby laughed. “Glad to hear you two finally got together and put those rings on each other’s fingers. Honestly, it’s about damn time.”

“You’re an asshole!” Remy repeated.

“Oh, like you’re any better,” Toby scoffed. “Love you, baby bro. Try to go easy on Emile tonight during your ‘celebration,’ yeah? I know he strained his right leg a couple weeks ago, and you don’t want it getting sore again.”

Emile turned red. “Fuck you!” Remy exclaimed.

“No, that’s Emile’s job!” Toby crowed.

And with that, he hung up. Remy blew out a breath. “Your parents next?” Remy asked.

Emile nodded.

[docholligay]

St. Raphael 3: With All Your Strength

THE CATHOLIC BOARDING SCHOOL AU. This is actually up to part 8 on the Patreon, part 9 hopefully coming tomorrow, but I wanted to give y’all a couple that were only ever on the Patreon, so there’ll be a couple parts released today! All posted parts listed here

Physical pain, Haruka liked. Well, perhaps liked was the wrong word, but it was easy to understand, familiar, and it felt like something she deserved. Mortification of the flesh, that old prayer when words of forgiveness were not enough.The aching with every breath gave voice to her bruised heart, and she languished in it, even refusing the medication. It wasn’t bad, it didn’t really hurt, she said, lying, which was another sin to add to the tally, but then the punishment could do double the work. They took it as a positive sign that the injury had been frightening but not altogether dangerous, and she was released to her room, though given a few days’ freedom from school.

But it was an avoidant pain, and soon the Lord took that from her as well, and the much deeper and more bloody emotional pain of a hope began to fill the space. Michiru sat in front of her still, and Haruka could not have even told you what country they were studying, her mind only studying each time and date that Michiru spoke to her, only concerned about the social ramifications of each word from her lips. There were so few now. A polite notation that she was pleased Haruka was well. Condolences for her fall.

Not only did Michiru not love her--it had been vain and stupid to consider she might--but, it seemed, did not even like her.

The ache behind her breastbone could no longer be mistaken for a corporeal injury, and it festered and stewed deep within her.

And so, it was only seven days from that dance at Saint Sebastian's that Haruka hit a wall Mina might have seen coming on her calendar, if she had cared to look.

“I’m not going.” Haruka sat on her bed, cross legged and cross armed as if it prove just how cross she was, and frowned deeply.

Mako’s face was hard as the stone on the building, and just as unimpressed. “I’ve spent weeks making this dress. You’re going.”

“I’m gonna look stupid!” Haruka protested.

“You’re going.” It seemed like once again the very things that had exploded between them years ago--namely Haruka’s dramatics and Mako’s immovability--were about to explode once more, over a carefully sewn pink dress. She stepped toward Haruka, clutching a spare piece of fabric, briefly considering exactly how many Hail Marys murder got you.

And she HAD labored. Not just on Haruka’s, but all the dresses. She had been designing since the summer, collecting oversized dresses at thrift stores, seeing how she could make the gaudy rhinestones into a delicate accent, how she could use an outdated sateen to offset the cream fabric taken from an old wedding dress. She had scoured sales and remnants. She had sat up late, sketching and re sketching, looking at pictures of her friends, and now, two days before the dance, Haruka was throwing one of her fits.

She was going, if Mako had to put her in that dress herself.

Mina, for a very rare moment in her life the voice of reason, stepped in, touching Mako’s arm and drawing her back. “Hey, hey, hey. Mako, just...she’s going.”

“NO I’M NOT!” Haruka turned over on her side, flopping dramatically.

Mina nodded at Mako. “Just let me.”

Mako took a deep breath and huffed it out, her fists balled, but gave a sharp nod in return and headed back over to her side of the room.

Mina sat on the edge of Haruka’s bed, considering for a moment what she might say. She was clever and silver-tongued--enough people had said so, and it hadn’t always been a compliment--but sometimes, with Haruka, there seemed nothing to say. Haruka more complex than people gave her credit for, and it wasn’t that she didn’t have all the fine onionskin layers of her own bible, it was simply that so many of the pages had been colored by her own struggle with herself, and sometimes they simply stuck together in a single oppressive ball.

“Ruka, what’s the deal?”  She leaned over her. “I know you don’t like dresses that much, but c’mon, you wear a skirt every damn day. Mako put a nice collar and stuff on this one, it’s not the girliest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”

“Not that.” She mumbled angrily into her pillow. “Just don’t want to go.”

“You just don’t want to go, in the most dramatic way possible, a week before the dance?” Mina rolled her eyes. “Give me some credit.”

Haruka turned over, her eyes mournful, half whispering. “I don’t want to look stupid in front of her.”

“Sister Mary Clare?” Her eyebrows twisted in confusion. “Pretty sure she’s used to seeing you look awkward in a dress, Ruka, she’s known us since we were eight.”

Haruka gave a brief glare. “Michiru.”

Mina sighed. In some ways, it was hard to understand where this had come from--Haruka had had a crush on Michiru since she was 13, and all of a sudden it was becoming a source of great and terrible pain. Was it the chocolate and comics? It had to be. Often, Mina reflected, hope only deepened the pain of failure, cutting open the dull ache with fresh vigor.

She touched Haruka’s shoulder. “Buddy, she’s seen you in a dress before. Nothing’s changed” Even saying it, she knew it was a lie, at least for Haruka.

Haruka closed her eyes and fell back on the pillow.

__

The human capacity to act an utter fool is capacious as the sea, and so, Michiru and Haruka passed by each other, gliding like ships, silently and darkly past each other, never imagining what might lie in the heart of the other. No flag were flown in signal, no smoke came over the bow, there was only a quiet bobbing in the water, and an inability to articulate that feeling which God had given them but man had put asunder.

Unfortunately, the only people they had managed to buffalo entirely was themselves, and the school began to notice that the girl who had always been a princess in tower now drifted into the clouds themselves, and the girl whose temper soothed a tender hurt became more apt to break and boil, and though no one could have guessed at the reason, the world saw the tense brokenness in them both, a window cracked with the glass holding in only by its own support.

But someone is always watching, even, and knowing, even in our darkest hours, and it is in these moments that a Saint may find occasion to step in.

__

Michiru had been quieter than usual, a turn of events Rei was not certain could have been possible, if you had asked her earlier in the year. She had always been a taciturn person, but lately her quietness had not seemed as some guardian angel, content to watch and to know, but it had taken on a pale grey flavor, that took Rei time to identify, until, turning over in bed one night, it came to her.

As unbelievable as it was, Michiru was sad.

This mystic knowledge whispered into her ear by God himself (Herself, Rei would correct), Rei set out to discover the cause of her sadness. Michiru had few family visits, but that was not terribly uncommon here, and it occurred to Rei that Michiru seemed unhappier when she was returning home anyhow. She didn’t seem ill. She was doing well in school. She was, as ever, remarkable at her violin, and her paintings were praised.

It was mystery she could not fathom, no matter how many charts she drew, bent over her desk late at night. And then, considering Michiru, sitting quietly at the lunch table that day, she doodled on her paper, hoping that in the tangles & knots of her pen, and picture would begin to reveal itself. And then she remembered. Just the smallest twitch of Michiru’s eye, and it was looking at--

She ran out the door of her room, and down the hallway, to the room at the end of the hall where Michiru slept. SHe banged on the door as if it were a foot thick, her knuckles aching with the pleasure of having solved the puzzle of Michiru Kaioh.

The door swung open, and Michiru stood, her silk robe wrapped around her, looking at Rei in disbelief.

Rei leaned inside the door, hand on the doorframe. “You like Haruka.”

Michiru’s lip curled slightly, but she shook it off. “Come inside.” She shut the door behind Rei and turned on her officially banned but unofficially well-known hot water kettle, and began to spoon tea into a tea ball. “Yes, she’s a very sweet girl, I think most people do.” But her cheeks pinked, just slightly, just enough that someone who had known her most of her life could notice.

“No,” Rei’s relentlessness stirred, her desire to know, her desire to be right, “you,” she could not quite form the words, as Mary stared down at them, “you...you know,” Michiru’s face puzzled, and Rei could not tell if it was because she was unaccustomed to Rei being at a loss for words, or Michiru herself being caught out, “you like her, in that way.” Rei was not sure how Michiru would take the accusation (for it was difficult to imagine anything coming from Rei as anything else,) and, if she balked, if it would be for ethical reasons or the very idea that should feel romantically at all. Michiru always was terribly practical.

But, to Rei’s great surprise, there was no denial at all.

Michiru looked down to the floor. “What we feel is endlessly less relevant than what we do.”

Rei’s eyes widened in the splendor of her correctness. “No! Really?!”She caught herself--to look like she was unfamiliar with the concept would look unworldly, and out of all the things she hoped not to be, a peasant in Michiru’s eyes was one of them. “I mean, I obviously this is completely fine, I just, you don’t look like...seem like.”

Michiru gave her a stern look, and Rei realized had failed in her attempt to look cosmopolitan.

She cleared her throat. “Haruka must like you. I’m sure of it.”

“Oh?” Michiru poured tea for the both of them. “And why are you so very certain?”

Because you’re both lesbians and I just assumed you’d get together, she immediately realized was wrong. “Ah, I mean, you’re basically the princess of this school.” Good recovery, Rei.

Michiru gave a huffing chuckle and handed Rei her tea. “It has been my experience that to be so far above others is to miss out on their company entirely.”

It sounded sad, and vulnerable, in a way that Rei had never heard Michiru sound, and looked over at her as she settled into her velvet chair, looking terribly soft in the moonlight. People, often even Rei, seemed not to think of Michiru as a person, but a figurehead, an aspirational painting of a human being, an idea. Seeing her, heartbroken over a girl, somehow made Rei love her all the more.

And with Rei, love meant help, whether requested or not.

__

Rei, as always, had a plan. People needed a leader, sometimes, and sometimes it was Rei’s job to be so. It was more comfortable for people to sit, unmoving, in the world the way they always had, but Rei had a certain pride in her ability to move people. And Michiru’s silent pining over haruka, however much she denied, could not sit any longer-- a ship in harbor may well be safe, but the bottom will also get rusted out and it’ll get moldy from lack of use. Michiru was her friend, and it was Rei’s job as Michiru’s friend to set this in motion.

It was a bit selfish, too, Rei would admit only to herself. The matter involved intrigue and secret knowledge and forbidden love, and it was all very exciting to a girl who had spent most of her life contained within the same grey walls of the school.

She slipped a note into a locker, covering her face casually with her cardigan as she did it, and lay in wait, for a response.

It was only half an hour later, in the domestic arts section, as requested, that she got her opportunity.

Rei spoke through the the bookshelves, a hissing whisper that caught Mina in its grasp. “I have information you may find interesting.”

“Rei?” She moved a book and peeked through the shelves. “What the hell are you doing?” She looked down at the piece of paper, pressed on the edges with a stamp. “I should have known this was you. Can you lesbians not do anything in the most dramatic way possible at least once?”

“I’m NOT a lesbian, Mina.” Mina could see her ever-expressive eyebrows through the tomes on ribbon embroidery.

“Well, this incredibly ridiculous gesture seems to suggest otherwise. Trust me, I would know all about it.”

There was a pause. “Then you are--”

“No, I freelance, but, anyway what the fuck, are we here to swap coming out stories?” She pulled out a needlework book and put her eye up to the gap.

Rei pulled back, her shoulder blade just touching  a book on breadmaking. “I told you, I’m not--”

Mina hissed her words through the books. “God, don’t act so scandalized, it’s an all girl’s Catholic school, what else are we supposed to do?”

Rei pinked, though she could not explain why, and shook her head.  “It seems that I have to be the one to pass on the forbidden knowledge here.” Rei smiled smugly.

“Hino, everyone knows you wear lace panties, what do you got for me?”

Rei’s pink turned a brilliant red. “Will you stop and just listen to me for even one minute, you are INFURIATING, and--”

“Anyway, this super secret intel.” Mina stared at Rei. “Well?”

Rei held her chin up proudly, recovering. She looked down again, eyeing Mina for any sign that might give her away. “Michiru has taken an interest in Haruka.” She leaned in and her whisper became low and harsh. “Romantically.”

“Gasp.” Mina’s affect was flat. “So why are you telling me?”

Rei put her hands on her hips. “So you can tell Haruka.”

“Why doesn’t Michiru tell Haruka?”

“Michiru is not going to tell Haruka, Mina.” There was an edge of obvious irritation at Mina’s insistence that such a thing was even possible.

“Of course not, because we’re dealing with fucking lesbi--HI THERE SISTER.” Mina sprung back from the books in jump, bringing a book on Amish quilting with her. “Hello!” She brandished the book at the sister. “Let me tell you what, I am just...fascinated by these...star...quilt..things. I’ve been meaning to take up more domestic arts, I mean--”

“Move it along, Mina.” The sister shooed her out of the dark corner of the library, quilting book still in her hand, as Rei looked very interested in Julia Child’s Art of French Cooking, as if she’d ever even correctly salted a piece of meat.

Mina walked out of the library, staring at the star on the book’s cover, and noticing how all the small pieces of fabric became one solid picture.

__

“She was sick, or at least that’s what Rei tells me.”

Haruka shook her head. “Are you sure?”

“Hino’s a lot of things,” She passed Haruka another cigarette as they sat out on their rooftop perch, “but I don’t think she’s a liar. What would her motivation be?”

Haruka thought for a moment. “I don’t know. I think Rei thinks I’m stupid.”

“You think,” she took a puff, “literally everyone thinks you’re stupid. The only person who thinks you’re stupid is you. Why do you think Father Joe has you sign up for shop every year, because you just look,” her voice became high and she batted her eyelashes, “soooo dreamy in that plaid skirt and sweater vest?” she passed over the cookies. “No, it’s because you’re really good at that. Build Michiru a bookshelf or some shit, I don’t know how lesbians court.”

Haruka smiled as she considered such a wild and fanciful idea. What if she made it with some inlay? White birch against dark rosewood, it would be beautiful and elegant and how Michiru would smile every time she looked at it with the knowledge of how Haruka had labored and cut over every detail, how much talent it had taken to make such a thing, how she would delicately put her finger to her lips and say that Haruka had made it when her friends asked.

It was a silly dream, but it was hers.

She looked over at Mina. “So she’s definitely going?”

“I didn’t ask.”

“Why not?” Haruka scowled, taking a cookie from the tin.

“Because I’m not your fucking carrier pigeon, Ruka, Jesus Christ.” She blew the smoke into high curls on the air. “You ask her.” She grinned. “No reason to be nervous, now that we know she likes you.”

Haruka bit her lip happily as she grinned up at the sky. “It doesn’t feel real. I mean...I know it’s hard but, we only have like two years of school left, less than two really, and then she can go to college and we’ll get a little apartment together. I’ve always wanted a cat. I think I’m gonna try and go to technical school, I like carpentry and mechanical stuff. You can do pretty good with that, and I know her family’s rich and all, but I could get a nice ring, I think, and I’ll work--”

“Buddy,” Mina clasped her hand tightly. “You’re gonna have to ask her out before you marry her.”

__

Asking out, was, of course, an impossibility. Where would they go? The chapel? And, even with the knowledge given her by Mina, through Rei, it all seemed too terribly frightening, out alone on a cold plain, praying for salvation.

Her St. Joan medal hit against her chest as she tapped Michiru’s shoulder in history class. Michiru turned to her, and she was nearly overwhelmed by the scent of Jasmine wafting from her hair.

Focus.

“So the dance is this weekend.” She fiddled with her pen.

Michiru had not yet recovered from the feel of Haruka's fingertips on her shoulder.  “Ah yes, that bi-annual organization of awkwardness. I never really much enjoy the Saint Sebastian’s dances. It’s terribly awkward to be asked to dance by a boy you scarcely have heard of, palms sweating, cologned heavily, tripping over my toes, much less to have it happen over and over again in a gymnasium that smells of teenage boys’ socks.”

“But you’re going to go?” Michiru looked up at her, and saw what she thought might be hope in Haruka’s eyes, and though she immediately cursed herself for it, her heart fluttered in her chest, a hummingbird above Haruka’s tempting flower.

“I suppose. My parents purchased me a dress, and it would seem odd if I didn’t.” The words did not seem to come from herself, but from something deep within, as if the Holy Spirit spoke through her, simply a vessel.

“I...I’m glad.” Haruka scratched the back of her neck awkwardly as the Sister announced the end of class, and books began to shuffle and move.

Michiru stood up, and daringly stepped onto the precipice between her heart and Haruka’s. “Yes well, I hope I find someone handsome to dance with.”

The words flowed out of Haruka’s mouth before she could stop them. “Oh, I hope you do too, I’m sure you will, you’re beautiful--or,” she blushed heavily, catching yourself, “I mean that’s what the Saint Stephen’s guys say.”

Michiru smiled with more true delight than she had felt since she was a girl. “Well, I thank you for you confidence.” She walked to the door of the classroom, practically gliding across the tile.

“Michiru!” Haruka called after her.

Michiru turned expectantly. “Yes?”

“I hope I see you there.” Her heart swelled. “Maybe we could…” Haruka’s mind reeled, looking for something possible. “Talk. I don’t dance much.”

“I would like that very much.”

The threads of the tapestry gathered and knotted, another detail set into place as Michiru’s shoes tapped along the floor, Matching every beat of Haruka’s heart.

[loubabykitten]

BEST FICS OF 2018

first of all… happy new year guys!!!

as promised, here are the best fics i read in 2018 (some of them were published before but i discovered them in 2018), there're not in order:

Chasing empty spaces (79k, chaptered) - 1930s au

by @domestic-harry

The year is 1934 and Harry Styles was to inherent the largest tobacco firm in the south. His parents have picked out the “perfect” girl for him to marry and he has the privilege of receiving the highest education possible. The problem was, Harry hadn’t realized he didn’t actually want any part of that future until he met a mechanic named, Louis Tomlinson.

Don't want shelter (76k, chaptered) - teacher!louis, businessman!harry

by @fullonlarrie

Louis and Harry have known each other all their lives. Friends as children, they danced around each other as teenagers, and have spent the last twenty-five years either screaming at each other or not speaking at all. Except for that one time ten years ago…

When Hurricane Nicole threatens the coast, they end up stuck together in their families' old vacation home that they begrudgingly co-own.

During the storm, and in the months after, they’re both forced to reevaluate their history and what they mean to each other.

Save myself (219k, chaptered) - rich!louis, student!harry

by @make-thisfeellikehome

Louis Tomlinson is a train wreck. That is a way of putting it lightly. His whole world is a vast blur of darkness and bad decisions and it doesn't matter how many times he decides he's done, he always falls back in, because darkness is tricky like that for him. Louis wants for nothing—has everything he could ever ask for really, but it's all nothing. Maybe he needs to be rescued—maybe he can't be rescued. No one knows.

Or the one where Louis is a spoiled rich kid who is ignored by his entire family, who's friends only use him as a means for drugs and no one believes he's worth any more than just that. Harry Styles is a first year university student who's just moved to Doncaster for their theatre program who just happens to get the short straw when he's partnered with Louis for Bio Lab. What could go wrong?

Lightning strikes twice (104k, chaptered) - groupie!louis, famous!harry

by @catfishau

Louis slipped his hand onto Harry’s thigh, snaking his fingers up and inwards. “I’m a big fan. You’re so talented, and I have to admit that I actually fancy you a bit.”

“Yeah?” Harry reached up to push Louis’ fringe out of his eyes. “Well, you know, I like to try and be accommodating to my fans.”

“You’re quite well known for that,” Louis whispered as he turned his head some more, their mouths an inch apart. “So I hear.”

---

Rock star Harry Styles was nineteen when he met Louis, a groupie with a huge heart that Harry couldn’t quite shake from his mind. Fate granted him a second chance at the age of sixty, his washed up and lonely existence being transformed by a widower with a bookshop.

Tell me how to feel about you (38k, chaptered) - college/university au

by @imlouisaf

Louis thought it would feel different once he got to LA. He knew it was best for him; a fresh start as far away as he could get. But when the plane touched down and he stepped out into the hot air around LAX, Louis felt exactly the same.

There's still a hole in his chest where his heart used to be; ripped away even after trying for so many years to keep it from happening. He knows it's not all his fault, not by a mile, but it doesn't stop him from blaming himself for it all going wrong.

If he'd just stayed strong, if he'd said no when he said yes, maybe everything would be different.

Or, Harry has been trying to convince Louis to date him for years, but Louis has always been wary of Harry’s fairly obvious commitment issues. Louis eventually gives him a chance, opening his heart up to the one thing he fears.

Have faith in me (183k, chaptered) - rich!harry, assistant!louis

As the son of Anne Styles, millionaire owner of one of the world's most luxurious fashion labels, Harry has spent his last seventeen years living in carefree extravagance. And now he's grown tired of it, along with the pressure from his mum to follow in her footsteps and the constant care given to him by her past assistants.

When his mum's newest assistant, Louis, moves into the guesthouse, Harry determines to be treated differently. To be treated like an adult. Except Louis is not at all what Harry was expecting...

This is a story about growing up, growing in love and having the faith to make it last.

Shake me down (208k chaptered) - college/university au, insecure!harry, protective!louis

by @agreatperhaps12

Harry's new to college, fresh out of Catholic school and conversion therapy camp, and Louis runs the campus LGBTQIA organization.

Red hands (132k, chaptered)

by @harrytum

“I’ve never told anyone,” Harry murmurs, voice so soft no one else would be able to hear, if it wasn’t just the two of them.  

“But you’ve told someone,” Louis says firmly. “And that’s not gonna fucking happen around here. You don’t speak a word of it, or someone’s going to kill you, and we can’t let that happen.”

a dystopian au in which harry, an ex-soldier who’s escaped from his government run camp, accidentally stumbles across the biggest rebel movement in the country, and louis, one of the rebellion’s mysterious leaders who appears to hate him, seems to simultaneously have an obsession with keeping him alive. or: harry is wanted for treason, niall hasn’t changed in four years, liam is always smiling, and louis is angry. like, really angry.

There are no atheists in foxholes (64k, one shot)

by @suspendrs

“Do you think we’ll ever see it again?” Harry asks after a minute. “London?”

Louis blinks, looking down. They very well could spend the rest of their lives on this island, and they’re both very aware of that. Everyone probably already thinks they’re dead, anyway. Their flats are going to be sold, and their families are going to have funerals, and life is going to go on without them. Even if they do get rescued, it’s already been days. The news of the shipwreck has definitely reached London by now. They don’t know if there’s been any effort to look for survivors, but they also don’t know how far away from the wreck they are, or how far people are going to go to look for them, or if anyone even knows that this island is here and, like, it’s very possible that they’ve already looked and stopped looking for survivors, and no one knows they’re out here-

“I don’t know,” Louis says, before he can start spiraling. “I hope so, but I don’t know.”

Or, the sea takes everything from Louis, but it gives him back more than he ever could’ve asked for.

Dance to the distortion (96k, chaptered)

by @domestic-harry

Louis accidentally breaks Harry's camera lens and in order to get it fixed, they decide to participate in a romantic couples study. The only issue is that they are not actually couple. Well that and the fact they cannot stand each other.

Lonely king (40k, chaptered) - broken!louis, indie!harry

When Louis' parents pass away in a car accident, he inherits a cottage in the woods of Scotland. He ends up spending the summer there; unraveling secrets, mending bonds and creating memories with his best friends.

For as long as i can remember (it's been december) (128k, chaptered) - lawyer!louis, chef!harry

After recovering from a severe accident that causes Harry to lose his memory of three years, he moves to London to start his life over as a star chef. Little does he know that when he falls in love with Louis at first sight, it’s not the first time they meet.

Featuring an unintentional game of hot and cold, Harry chasing memories that won’t come back, Louis burying himself in work to try and forget what he can’t forget, Liam being torn between two of his best friends, Zayn as a moral compass and Niall saving the day with good music and brutal honesty.

The road less travelled by (98k, chaptered) - Lumberjack!louis, high school principal!harry

by @freetheankles

Louis was a lumberjack happy to be living his life alone in what could qualify as Middle Of Nowhere, Canada.

Every morning, he went out into the woods, cut his logs, then came home at dusk to a scalding hot shower and a good book by the fireplace. Rinse and Repeat. He had a good life, quiet and peaceful; simple. Not a secluded one as Niall annoyingly claimed.

Louis certainly didn't need some chatty trespasser dropping into his life, his forest, his home. Invading his space, his circle of friends, touching his stuff, asking questions about his husband. His late husband.

A trespasser who wasn’t supposed to crawl under his skin, occupy his thoughts, and steal his heart from where Louis had locked it safely away, only to put it right back on Louis’ sleeve — where it once laid.

No, Louis definitely didn’t need Harry.

Saving symphony hall (124k, chaptered) - symphony hall au, omega!louis, alpha!harry

by @helloamhere

“I think I have an idea,” Louis said. Slowly, and reluctantly, but with a growing sense of the inevitable. “God damnit, I think I have a really good idea.”

“Oh christ, that's the problem-solving face,” Babs said. “Last time we saw that face, he sold a company.”

“Wait, what?” Zayn asked.

“Right place, right time,” Louis said. “Also, fuck my life,”

“What?” Zayn repeated. Niall patted his hand.

“I usually just roll with whatever Louis is about to do,” he said. “It’s better for us all.”

“That’s the attitude,” said Louis, “I’ll tell you tomorrow. Tonight, I need to do some research. Zayn, give me your number. I’m gonna save our symphony.”

Shelter as we go (75k, one shot)

by @fondleeds

Louis looks at him like his words might break him, glass about to splinter, one wrong footfall away from shattering into a million tiny pieces.

“Hey,” Harry breathes, and he knows, meeting Louis’ eyes, that his words could break him easy as anything. He almost wants Louis to bring his boot down.

-

AU. Nova Scotia, 1968.

Walk that mile (149k, chaptered) - road trip au

Harry stares at him, the line of his jaw standing out scarily. “I wanted to get the most out of this trip so I planned it carefully.” His voice is low and steady and somehow that’s worse than when he was yelling. “So far, you’ve put your sticky fingers on everything I’ve tried to do.”

“Sticky fingers?” Louis repeats, offended. “Are you saying it’s my fault you got stung by a bee? Had you been alone you would have gotten halfway to the Dotty Diner and ran the car off the road because of an allergic reaction, so don’t go blaming me.”

“Polk-A-Dot Drive In,” Harry spits before getting out of the car. He slams the door shut with a deafening reverb and Louis rolls his eyes. - A Route 66 AU where falling in love was never part of the plan.

MY TOP 5:

5. I believe him when he tells of loving me (28k, chaptered)

louis doesn't remember harry. harry takes him home.

4. Wild love (130k, chaptered)

by @daisyharry

“Good,” Julia says, clearly pleased to have them both uncomfortable and unable to look at each other. “Now, I only have one more question before you can go. What are you planning to do when this experiment ruins your friendship?”

“We said we’d stay friends no matter what,” Harry says smoothly, his chin lifting in defense.

“That was our one thing going into it,” Louis agrees. “Stay friends no matter what.”

Julia raises a perfectly manicured brow, “That’s all fine and good. But I hope you realize your emotions aren’t going to realize this is an experiment in the end. If one of you falls for the other and finds out those feelings are not reciprocated, you’re not going to be able to laugh it off as a social experiment. I’m not saying you shouldn’t do this, I’m just hoping you’ve considered all of the possible outcomes.”

- AU: Two best friends try to date each other for forty days. It's supposed to be fun until emotions make it complicated.

3. In sickness and in health (83k, chaptered) - american!harry, british!louis

by @rainbowsandlovehl

“Just make sure that you head down to the immigration office as soon as you can, alright?” James reminded them, making them look towards the man and nod in unison. “Remember Louis, you have only two weeks. So make it legal quickly so you don’t get deported.”   “I’ll be sure to remind my assistant to schedule our appointment,” Louis joked and laughed.

A loosely based The Proposal Au where Louis is to be deported in two weeks. Since he doesn't want to lose his job, he asks his assistant, Harry to marry him for a green card. If it makes them realise they're in love, oh well. There's also the fact that no one doubts their credibility.

2. Hush (41k, one shot) - high school au, quarterback!louis, feminine!harry

by @wankerville

“I don't like you like that, Harry.”

“See,” Harry starts, Louis can hear the smile in his voice, “that's where I think you're lying.”

or an au where small towns suck, louis is losing it, and harry’s just too perfect.

1. Light my morning sky (54k, one shot) - college/university au

The relatively cliché College AU in which Louis happens to be proficient in Philosophy, Ethics and keeping his distance, while Harry is in need of a tutor to salvage his grade, and never passes up on a challenge; Zayn and Liam like to gaze wantonly across at each other whilst pretending to read Austen; and Niall is the precarious bond that holds them all together.

(Expect some sappy self-indulgent scenes consisting of bed-sharing, 4 am almost-love declarations, drunk texting, and far too much time spent at the student bar for it to be an accurate depiction of uni life.)

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

Blind Date

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Request: It had to be fate when Steve runs into his work crush on a stroll through his old stomping grounds. 

Word Count: 3,756 - One Shot

Once again, special thanks to @kquel12 and @alexabarnes for letting me pick their brain.

Steve walked around the city. It had been a hot summer day and it seemed the people of New York couldn’t escape it until the moon replaced the sun. There was a nice cool breeze that finally made the heat bearable.

Steve had needed to clear his head. So he rode his motorcycle back to the city. He’d spent all day in Brooklyn, familiarizing himself with his old stomping grounds again. He spent the later half back in Manhattan. Now he made his way down fifth avenue after strolling through the The Met.

It was getting late and there were fewer people in the area. The usual tourists had made their way back to their hotels or were out on the town.

Steve was strolling slower than usual, taking in the sounds and views of the city. He’d curiously look into Central Park from his spot on the sidewalk. It was nice to know that the park hadn’t changed hardly at all since his time growing up.

He was just about to speed up his walk and make his way back to the old Avengers Tower and grab his motorcycle to make his trip back to the compound Upstate. But then he saw a familiar face walking toward him on the sidewalk.

It was Y/N. 

She worked for the PR department at the compound. They’d frequently exchange smiles and polite conversations. Luckily, Steve didn’t need to work with her all that often. It was mostly Tony that had to be talked through how to handle bad publicity.

Y/N was always professional and – from what Steve was told – she was rather amazing at her job.

Sometimes Steve wished he misbehaved more so he’d have an excuse to talk to Y/N more. His little crush was only really noticed by Sam, Steve, and – of course – Natasha. 

On multiple accounts, Bucky had to jab Steve in the stomach to stop him from staring at Y/N with heart eyes when she was in the same room as them. Steve was grateful for the wake up calls. But he always wanted to punch Bucky when he smirked at him knowingly.

Steve didn’t think it was professional for him to make a move. It was an HR nightmare waiting to happen. And working in PR, she had to know what a mess he would be to date. So Steve just watched her from a distance, secretly fawning over her.  

Y/N was close enough to Steve on the sidewalk now to notice him as well. She had earbuds in and quickly took them out.

Steve swore he caught a melancholy aura around her before she caught sight of him. But maybe he’d been imagining it.

“Captain Rogers,” she beamed brightly.

God, she was beautiful.

It was then that Steve noticed she wasn’t wearing her usual business attire. Instead her makeup was a little brighter and she was wearing a summery and loose dress. She looked even more beautiful than usual and he didn’t know that was even possible.

“Y/N,” he greeted with a grin. “And please, it’s just Steve. We’re not at the office.”

She nodded. “What are you doing in the city?”

Steve shoved his hands in the front pockets of his jeans and looked around awkwardly. “Uhh…just needed to get out of the compound. And before I knew it, I was riding into Manhattan.”

She eyed him, seeming to sense that there was more to it than that. But she still nodded in understanding.

“You look…” Steve wanted to say ‘beautiful,’ but it felt too inappropriate and forward.

“You look lovely,” he finally said.

Y/N let out a nervous sigh and blushed. “Thank you,” she said shyly, like it was unusual for a man to say that to her.  

“Am I stopping you from getting somewhere?” Steve asked hurriedly. She must have better things to do that to talk to him.

“No. No, not at all. I was just…I was just having drinks with my friends.” She gestured behind her with her thumb. “They wanted to make a whole night of it. But I wasn’t feeling it.”

Steve nodded.

He couldn’t get over how the soft breeze was making her hair flutter around her face. Her skin seemed to be glowing from the humidity of summer. There was a part of him that just wanted to grab her and kiss her. But that wasn’t him. That would never be him.

He remembered his words of warning to Bruce. ‘As maybe the world's leading authority on waiting too long, don’t.’ Maybe he should stop being a coward and take his own advice. They weren’t at the office. And he knew he would never make it weird if she rejected him. In fact, he thought she’d better. Clearly she was too good for him.

“Hey, would you – would you want to grab a drink?” He finally asked.

Her eyes widened a bit. “Now?” She blurted out softly.

Steve chuckled, “Yes, now. Unless you really wanted to call it a night and head home.” She bit her lip. “A drink sounds great, actually.”

Steve was stunned that she agreed. “OK. I’m not really familiar with the area these days…Do you know a place nearby?”

“Yeah, I do.” Then she pointed in a general direction. “There’s a spot I like a few blocks north of here.”

Steve smiled and nodded. “Lead the way.”

Y/N took them to a hole-in-the-wall dive bar. She looked out of place in her pretty dress and even prettier face. Steve was almost glad he was there with her because the patrons appeared to be mostly men that wouldn’t behave themselves around a girl like her.

They sat at the end of the bar, basically a dark corner of the bar. The stools squeaked when they sat on them.

“What can I get for you, darling?” A woman came over with a cut off t-shirt and a sleeve of tattoos on both arms. She winked at Y/N, making Steve think she was just as interested in Y/N as he was.

Y/N looked at Steve for a second. “Wanna play a game with me?”

“Sure,” he said almost too quickly and casually. He’d do just about anything she asked if he was being honest with himself.

Y/N smiled at his quick response and turned back to the bartender. "Can we get six shots of tequila and two Stellas please?”

The bartender was taken aback, but clearly impressed. Before Steve had time to comprehend what was happening, Y/N had pulled out her credit card and handed it to the bartender with a, “Keep it open.”

“You know, I was the one that asked you to get drinks…” Steve pointed out.

Y/N smirked at him. “Is this where you try to prove that chivalry isn’t dead?”

“Back in my day, we didn’t call it chivalry. It was called being polite and it was also just expected.”

“Right. Gentleman weren’t a dead breed,” Y/N rolled her eyes.

Steve’s eyes softened at her obvious hurt with the statement. “So, what’s this game you’re dragging me into?”

Y/N perked up at his subject change. “We’re going to ask each other whatever we want. Each shot is a question. But if we don’t want to answer the question, we have to take the shot.”

Steve nodded slowly, “What’s the beer for?”

“Oh, that’s our chaser.”

The bartender came back with their beers and 6 shot glasses in her hand. She poured them the tequila and left them a salt shaker as well as a glass full of lime slices. She left them alone with a, “Have fun, kids.”

Steve looked at the shots. “I guess now is a bad time to tell you that I can’t really get drunk.”

Y/N’s face scrunched. “What do you mean?”

He shrugged. “Side effects of the serum. Guess my metabolism burns it off before I can get the buzz.”

“Well then, you’ve got quite the edge to this game. I might not remember your dirty secrets in the morning. But you’ll remember all of mine.”

Steve chuckled. “In that case, ladies first. Ask away.”

She sat up excitedly. “What do you hate the most about this century?”

His brow raised at the forwardness of the question. “Alright, so that’s how this is gonna be then?”

She just smirked and nodded.

“I guess…” he shifted in his seat, “Technology is amazing. It’s grown faster and bigger than I could’ve ever imagined.” Then he hesitated. “But – don’t make fun of me for this – I think a lot of people are ignorant to the new problems it’s brought too.”

Y/N was clearly intrigued, leaning in closer. “Like what?”

“I don’t know – There are some many new ways to harass and bully people. Lack of privacy. A platform for lies and misinformation. Advertising your life like it’s a brand. Don’t even get me started on cyber security. Hell, we invented Ultron because of it. People’s phones? They’re like…interrupters. People miss so much because of them.”

He quickly listed them off and then took a breath. He slowed his thoughts down. “No one writes each other letters anymore.” He sighed, “The instant gratification of everything is…disappointing.”

Y/N smiled at him. “Who knew Captain America was such a romantic?” Steve blushed and chuckled, “Guess I am then.”

“I don’t disagree with your criticisms. But, you know, there are some good things that came with technology.”

“And I’m not disagreeing with that.”

“You can talk to people across the country, see their face. Yeah, social media is obnoxious. But I can keep up with my friends that don’t live near me. I feel like I’m still a part of their lives and we can remain friends easier, even if we only get to see each other once a year. The internet opened up people to the whole world.”

Steve looked at her for a moment. “What?” She asked.

“And you call me the romantic…” Steve teased.

Y/N rolled her eyes at him.

A moment of silence pass between them.

Steve cleared his throat, “My turn?”

She nodded.

“Did you always want to work in public relations?”

Y/N laughed at the question. “Did you always want to wear a uniform, throw a shield around, and save the world?” “Well…I guess not.” Steve admitted.

“Exactly. We don’t always do what we want. Sometimes we just do what we’re good at because we don’t really see another option.”

Steve watched her for a moment. His expression was sympathetic, like he just instantly understood that she had dreams she had yet to fulfill. That maybe she never would.

“Uh…I think it’s your turn,” he told her gently.

Y/N eyed him for a moment, mischievousness evident in her gaze. “Can we just agree right now that we’re not coworkers?”

Steve nodded.

“Promise you won’t get mad?”

Steve nodded again.

“When’s the last time you had sex?”

Steve’s eyebrows rose to his forehead. He knew people were more open about sex in this century. But it still caught him off guard every time. He didn’t think he’d ever get used to it, no matter how long he was exposed to it.

Without hesitating, he took the shot.

“Oh, come on!” Y/N cried out with a laugh.

“Nope,” was all Steve said as he winced at the burn of the alcohol going down his throat. He might not be able to get drunk, but alcohol still didn’t going down easily.

“You really are a gentleman, huh?” It was more of a rhetorical question than anything.

Steve ignored her comment and looked at the bottom of his beer glass. “You know, back in my day, people kept that kind of stuff to themselves – stayed between you and your partner.”

Y/N smiled softly at the comment. “You have to realize that you not answering also kind of answers it.”

Steve shook his head, rolled his eyes, and decided to move on.

“Do you like working for us – I mean, like working for the Avengers?” Steve asked nervously. A part of him imagined her going home and complaining about them to her best friends, saying she needed to get a new job as soon as possible.

“Yeah, I do. Really, I do.” Y/N admitted. “Sometimes it’s just not good for my self-esteem or ego,” she added with a laugh.

Steve’s eyes narrowed. “What do you mean?”

Y/N took a sip of her beer and cleared her throat. “Are you kidding? You guys save the world. You put your lives on the line constantly. Meanwhile, I just make sure the media vultures leave you guys alone.” Then she smiled. “Oh, and I’m damage control for Stark. Which…should be a full-time job on it’s own.”

“You do understand the reason we do what we do is so people like you can have a normal life.”

His voice was serious and his eyes were even more.

They just watched each other for a moment.

Then Y/N looked down in her lap, trying to figure out if she should ask her next question. “Have you dated since you woke up?”

To her surprise, Steve didn’t toss back a shot.

Y/N knew he had a relationship with Sharon Carter at one point. But from what she’d heard, there hadn’t exactly been a courting process. It didn’t seem like Steve had to submerge himself in the dating culture of today to establish a relationship with his past girlfriend.

“Not really.”

“Why not?” She challenged.

“It wouldn’t exactly be fair.”

Y/N just looked at him with confusion.

“She – She wouldn’t just be dating me. She’d be dating Captain America. I don’t know if I’m willing to throw that onto someone.”

“But you dated Agent Carter,” Y/N blurted out. Then she winced. “Sorry. God, I’m sorry. That was so rude.”

Steve laughed at her. “It’s fine. Really. It didn’t work out. We’re still friends.”

Y/N took in a deep breath to gain some bravery. “I might be stepping out of line by saying this, but I think you need to hear it. You think you have some sort of baggage because of who you are. But if she’s the right girl, she won’t see it as baggage. Because she’ll love you.”

Steve’s heart melted at the words. God, why did she have to go and say something like that to him? As if he wasn’t already smitten.

He shifted in his seat at the tension her statement caused.

“OK. Since I see where are boundaries are now…” He smiled devilishly. It was strange to see such a thing on Captain America’s lips. “Do you believe in love?”

Y/N blinked at him, trying to process what he said and convince her brain she hadn’t imagined it. Then she reached for the tequila shot and threw it back. “Hey! What! No!” Steve cried out with amusement.

“Nope. Not happening,” Y/N answered as she bit into the lime.

The night went on that way. The questions held less weight and they allowed themselves to get sidetracked in different conversations. Steve couldn’t remember any other time when he learned so much about someone so quickly. Their conversation had more meaning than the average one between two people. Even with the things Y/N wouldn’t say or talk about, Steve learned something from them.  

It was getting late. All their shots has been drunk and they went through more glasses of beer. The bar was a little less crowded than when they’d arrived. At this point, Y/N was quite drunk. She was still herself, just more open and giggly. Steve was only irritated by how much more adorable it made her.

“Wanna know a secret?” Y/N giggled before taking a sip of her beer. He’d politely asked the bartender to stop giving her shots.

Steve didn’t really answer her yes or no, just waited to see if she wanted to tell him or not.

“I lied to you earlier,” Y/N gave him a sad smile and looked down at the bar guiltily.

Steve tilted his head. “What do you mean?”

“When I ran into you, I hadn’t just gotten done getting drinks with my friends.” She wasn’t looking at him as she spoke.

He waited for her to continue.

“I was on a date. Well…I was waiting for a date.” Y/N took in a shaky breath. “He stood me up.”

“What?” Steve blurted out without meeting to.

“It was a blind date that my friend set up. I had his number. Jesus – I waited for 30 minutes before I finally realized he wasn’t coming. He didn’t answer any of my texts. I just sat there, thinking he was running late.”

Steve watched her for a moment, realizing that she was trying to play it off. But it clearly had really upset her. It made sense now, why she wanted to go right into the hard liquor and to mentally push him. She was upset. She was looking for some kind of release.

“He’s an idiot,” Steve finally declared.

She finally looked at him. Her breath caught.

Her eyes cast downward. “My friend showed him a picture. He had my full name – could’ve easily looked me up.” She shrugged. “Maybe he just didn’t like what he found.”

But Steve was already shaking his head aggressively.

“What? That’s probably what happened!” Y/N argued with slurred words.

Steve sat up straighter in his stool – as if that were possible – and leaned a little closer to her.

“Now it’s my turn to cross the line,” he warned with a voice that was low and serious. “Any man that treats you like that is a fool. Silver lining is that he spared you from the obvious reality of being unworthy of you.”

Despite being drunk, his declaration still struck a chord in Y/N’s heart.

“Steve – I…” she couldn’t form a coherent thought. She closed her eyes to try harder, but it threw off her equilibrium and she stumbled off her stool.

Steve instantly caught her by her shoulders. “Woah, there.”

“Sorry,” she slurred, gripping his forearms.

“I think it’s time we get you home,” Steve muttered as he tried to get the attention of the bartender to close the tab. Y/N was too drunk to catch that Steve put the bill on his card instead and safely put hers back into her purse.

It took him a few tries to get Y/N to correctly give him her address, but he eventually got it. Luckily it was in the neighborhood.

Steve kept his arm around her waist, scared if he let her get too far away from him, she’d drunkenly stumble into the street or fall to the ground. She didn’t seem to mind his touch.

“It’s not fair that you can’t get drunk. I’m making a fool of myself and your just satan’s witness…” Y/N slurred as Steve unlocked her door for her after she failed to do so at least 10 times.

“Yeah, but you’re the one having all the fun, doll.” He chuckled.

“Whatever,” she slurred before tripping over a pair of discarded shoes.

Steve caught her again. “OK. Let’s get you to bed, huh?”

“Oh, yes! Bed!” She dragged him to her bedroom and only let go of his hand to toss herself on top of her bed like a starfish. She let out a sigh of content, causing him to chuckle.

Steve took off her shoes, but stopped at that.

“Hey,” she sounded surprisingly sober with just that word. “You’re not going back to the compound, right?”

Steve scratched the back of his head. “Uhh…Yeah. That was my plan.”

“It’s late, Steve. Just stay here.”

He watched her for a moment. Like he realized earlier in the night, he’d do just about anything she’d ask of him.

“Yeah. OK. I’ll sleep on the couch in the living room. Thanks.”

She tried to hide her slight disappointment, like she had expected America’s golden boy, Steve Rogers, maybe the last living gentleman, to sleep in her bed beside her.

Steve started backing out of her room. “Goodnight, Y/N.”

“Hey, Steve?” She called out into the darkness, just as he was about to shut her door.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for tonight.”

——————

Y/N woke up the next morning with a splitting headache and a mouth so dry that it felt like no amount of water could ever cure it.

Then last nights events came flooding back to her memory. Well, there was obviously bits and pieces missing, and a lot of it was blurry.

Had her and Steve been flirting? The whole night?

It was impossible. He was…Steve Rogers, Captain America. In what world would he ever have any interest in her?

Y/N groaned and rubbed her face. Work was going to be so embarrassing on Monday. She’d have to apologize and then she’d never be able to talk to him again.

She got up and walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water, fully expecting to find her living room empty.

And she was right. There was a blanket politely and neatly folded on the edge of her couch. The only proof that Steve had spent the night.

But then there was the sound of the bathroom door opening and Y/N jumped as she turned around, half expecting it to be an intruder.

Steve paused at her surprised look. “Morning,” he greeted.

“I didn’t think you’d still be here,” she admitted.

“Oh, sorry. I should go.”

“No! I’m glad you’re still here. I should apologize for how I behaved last night–”

“Please don’t be embarrassed or apologize,” Steve interrupted. “I – I liked seeing you like that.”

“Like what?”

“Open. Honest. Yourself.” He hesitated. “Not my colleague.”

So her drunken mind hadn’t been imagining the flirtations.

Y/N’s heart beat faster at the way he was looking at her. “Would – Would you like to get breakfast together?” Steve asked her softly.

“Really?”

Steve smiled. “The universe owes you a date. And I think I could be the man for the job. I would make more of a show of it, ask you out to dinner on a Friday night, take you to a fancy restaurant. But I don’t…I don’t think I can wait that long.”

“No. No, breakfast is great.” Y/N blushed and smile shyly. “I’ve always wanted to go on a breakfast date.”

-------------------------------------------------

Wanna know something funny? I went out to dinner when I was in the middle of writing this and my friend and I sat next to a guy that had clearly gotten stood up and it was so heartbreaking. I felt so bad for him. 

Anyways, I love feedback and hearing people’s reactions. It makes me happy. 

[bumblbytrash]

My Just Right™️ Theory

So I know I’m not the only one who thinks Blake is Baby Bear. Or at least I hope I’m not alone.

I mean then again I literally never really see anyone else posting about it other than people reblogging my posts so fucking maybe.

But I’m really latched onto this head canon and y’all better buckle up cause I’ve got new thoughts to add to this crackpot theory.

Now, I’ve made a semi lengthy post about this already, which can be found here, and y’all should really go read that first bc I’m gonna gloss over what over already talked about and y’all will be confused. Now that post really only talks about Blake’s introduction as Baby Bear. But now I’ve got for y’all all the reasons how Blake fills the role of Baby Bear/ being Just Right™️ for Yang.

-

The first thing I wanna to clarify with y’all is the basics of Goldilocks and the three bears. Just cause I’m obv gonna talk about symbolism that I’m pulling from quite a lot and I want us all on the same page. So,

Goldilocks vs Papa Bear: porridge is too hot, bed is too stiff. Angry and mean, or passionate and protective.

Mama Bear: porridge is too cold, bed is too soft. Distant and bracing, or level headed and receptive.

But then Baby Bear’s stuff is Just Right™️. Y’all starting to get why I’ve also latched on to “Just Right™️”?

-

Second thing I’m gonna come right out and clarify is that yes. I am aware that Junior’s name means Baby Bear. Actually his name means Black Bear, the nickname Junior is what makes it Baby Black Bear. But I’m imagining the titles being a little flexible and applicable to multiple characters.

-

So cool, Yang fought two Ursai, one was “hot headed” and aggressive, attacked her up front. The other was a more “cool headed” passive one that watched at first, and the poof, Blake.

Baby Bear. But I wanna take it a step further. So let’s look at team RWBY

Papa Bear = Ruby. Yes I know, the Yang is far more hot headed and fiery than ruby but hear me out. In the scene immediately following Blake’s introductionas Baby Bear, we see Ruby rum into a situation without much thought. She makes a hot headed move to attack without double checking her surroundings and fucks up Weiss’ shot. Then, in the ensuing argument, Ruby loses her temper and cuts down a tree. That’s some pretty hot porridge right there.

Mama Bear = Weiss. I means come on, she’s literally called the ice queen. In the scene after Blake’s introduction as Baby Bear, Weiss is shown being ice cold and honestly a total bitch. She’s literally standing there surrounded by beowolves, slowly going down a check list. I’m not here to say that proper form isn’t important but woman. Don’t wait for the second ice age. Then after Ruby beats her to the punch she starts an argument and she’s really cold. Saying to Ruby that no, she’s not perfect but she’s leagues better than her. That porridge is FROZEN.

Baby Bear = Blake. Y’all. Do I even have to say it? They’re literally perfect for each other. Blake is Just Right™️ in so many ways. Blake’s the person that Yang has the deepest connection with. Blake’s the one who laughs/smiles the most at Yang’s stupid jokes or really even just at Yang because she’s there. Yang strives for Blake’s approval, she immediately tears up and visibly breaks down the second it seems like Blake doesn’t trust/believe her. And when Blake asks Yang to promise to her specifically, in return for Blake’s trust, Yang doesn’t even hesitate for a second. Makes eye contact and promises. Blake’s also like, the only person to show worry or concern over Yang in a fight. Then, after being separated from each other for around a year, they just fall back into sync as it nothing ever kept them apart. Sure, they had a bump of two I’m looking at you apathy barn but they were just that bumps that’s they got over in a snap.

I mean shit, even the color scheme lines up for team RWBY.

Next we get to look at our in-world family of bears: The Belladonna’s

Kali Belladonna. Y’all look at this sweet bean and tell me she isn’t the softest Mama Bear to ever soft.

Kali Belladonna isn’t ice cold in the way that Weiss is, she’s more cool and soft. She does silly things, teases her daughter about the boy that followed her home and doesn’t hesitate for a second to wrap her daughter up in a bear hug.

And damn if Ghira Belladonna isn’t intimidating as all shit

Ghira Belladonna is a damned force to be reckoned with. This man is the very definition of a hot headed, protective Papa Bear. Y’all cannot convince me other wise if you tried.

The Belladonna’s are admittedly a fav and I’m really just including them cause I can and it fits sooooooooo. Moving on:

So the last thing I wanna talk to y’all about is Yang’s abandonment issues. How we’ve seen it played out in the show and how it fits into my Baby Bear!Blake theory. And yes, I know this is reaching. Like shit, my spine popped, I was reaching so far up to this shelf but hear me out.

Yang has canonically been abandoned 3 times.

The first time was her birth mother, Raven Branwen.

Now we can only speculate on why Raven really left. Yang also, has no idea why Raven left, a fact that hit us over the head in V2. So for Yang’s entire life (tho she got some closure in V5) Yang has just built up bitterness and anger toward her mother. “How dare she leave, how could she just go, abandon her family like that.”

The second time was Summer Rose. But Summer didn’t chose to leave.

I mean yes she chose to leave for the mission, but she fully planned on returning. She was killed. The was a fight, a slip up, an accident, and Summer couldn’t make it back home. Yang more than likely spent her years wishing that maybe she or Tai or Qrow or anyone would have just gone with her, made sure that Summer was alright. Summer didn’t leave, she was taken away inexplicably and Yang would have felt sad. Lost and cold without her mother’s guidance.

The third time was Blake. And yes, our baby girl fucked up when she left, I’m not here to deny that.

So during the fall of beacon, Yang finds Blake on the ground under Adam who has just stabbed her. Keep in mind, Yang has spent the majority of her life wishing she or literally any one could have been there to save Summer. Wishing that someone could have prevented her loved one from being ripped away from her. And now, Blake is about to be killed in front of Yang’s very eyes.

Y’all damn know she flipped her shit. She is CRYING as she launches herself at Adam, so blinded by her need to make to Blake, to be there in time, to save her life. Y’all also know that she failed, pretty miserably in fact. But Blake didn’t care. She only cared that Yang had come at all, and was upset with herself for having brought Yang into her world of trauma. So she left. She left because she thought that that would protect Yang.

What’s different about Blake leaving is that she’s the only person who actually chose Yang. Sure the message didn’t come across to Yang right away, but that’s what happened. Blake chose Yang’s safety over her own safety, well being, and happiness.

And I know, I know, that what t probably hurt Yang more than anything was that Blake chose to leave her behind, like Raven had. Yang ultimately made her peace with Summer because that was out of anyone’s control. But Blake? We see in volume 5 we see that Yang is very VERY upset that Blake left. When Ruby tells Yang she wishes Blake was with them, Yang lashes out. Ruby pushed farther, prying, trying to force Yang into wanting Blake there and Yang snaps, of only for a moment.

Her eyes burn red and she is LIVID. Yang eventually gets up and sulks in her room while carressing Blake’s image in a group photo. And then, enter Weiss. Weiss says nothing as she enters the room. Just sits and lets Yang rant. Once Yang’s down Weiss speaks. Talks about her own traumas and her own family issues. And finally talks to Yang and convinces her to try and see things from Blake’s perspective.

I mean shit. The poor girl did her absolute best to remain distant, to keep her secrets, to keep her past away from the rest of them. But she opened up to Yang, they became very close friends and at some point (I’m looking at you Burning the Candle) it became a little more flirtatious and romantic. Then with all this going on, Adam appears of literally nowhere and maimes the one person in all of Beacon that Blake has truly opened up to. And like let’s not fucking forget that Blake is also the only person we see Yang open up to. I mean we see her open up to Weiss, but she’s literally opening up about her pain from Blake leaving soooooooo.

The last thing that sets Blake apart in this cycle of the three bears, and the reason why she gets to be Baby Bear/ Just Right™️ is because BLAKE CAME BACK.

This girl, who is notorious for running from her problems, to the point that her semblance which is an extension of her own soul, is literally a mechanism to run away, SHE CAME BACK.

Blake came back to Yang. And she’s promised she’s never going anywhere again. And Yang believes her, Yang trusts her, and y’all can damn well believe Yang LOVES her.

So yea. Blake’s Baby Bear. She’s Just Right™️ for Yang. Try and change my mind. You can’t.

This post has gotten really long, and I do have more thoughts, but maybe in another post cause again, this is already a fucking full length essay.

For y’all who wanted to be tagged:

@sunnydragonqueen @yeehawyang @AG_Nonsuch

[heanv]

Never Not | Jisung

genre: friends!to lovers

warning:cursing, break up(?)

word count: 1k

requested by: @17caratshinee

song: Never Not by Lauv

In this world there are two kind of people- hopeless romantics, which can see a new person everyday and think that they are the most beautiful creature and the love of their life. And there come the realists which are on the other side, when every new person is just another fucking, ordinary person and there is no sparkle or love from the first sight. I don’t know what I believe in and I don’t know what you believe in but I am gonna tell you a story which is something in between.

 So here is Jisung, seventeen, student in public school in California, just like you and me. And here comes the thing,you know that time in your life when everything is like just messed up and feels wrong. The moment when you are so caught in your little fights with friends and scares of losing them and being so messed up, that you just can’t find yourself anymore. As the time and the new event in Jisunfg’s life passed he was starting to alienate himself and build these spaces between him and the other people, going back to the memories he had and trying to actually find the list part of him in them. But you know what, that onlyconfused him more. One day after school and everything he decided to get away from the teenage cliché, pressure and to just get on the train and travel for a while. So he ran to the station and without knowing where to he is going and he took the first train to came. And there was this moment when he just feels like he had to sit alone ina place for two people.

 So there he is, sitting and watching through the window when he heard someone talking , 

‘’Sorry for interrupting but is this seat free?” 

It was a girl but not just some random girl ,it was one of Jisung’s childhood friends - Y/n. After years of games on the streets, sharing secrets and being inseparable they have started school and gone in different groups of people and styles. They have forgotten all about the past and this day at the train, this first sight connected them like something new, that they had never felt and at the same time like deja vu.

 /‘No other magic could ever compare’./'

‘’Yes,of course’’ Jisung’’s cute smile greated her.

You talked about the lost friendship and how much they have missed spending time together.

 ‘/We were so beautiful,We were so tragic/

 So there you were - Y/n and Jisunf smilingg and talking about their life now, the changes happening aroundand about every little thing that was pestering their minds at the moment. The train reached his last station and they understood that hours have gone in talking.

 ‘/Then you came, found me’/

 Since this day, this train ride, you restarted your relationship just like in your childhood. And with every moment that you spent together ,the more and more  you realized that something was different. There was this, magical feeling between you guys that was connecting tyou.You spent most of your Fridays together  in a cozy cafe,using one pair of earphones and sharing each other’s taste on music with two hot chocolates next to you.That time felt like magic , as if your souls were connecting.

 /There is a room,In my heart with the memories we made/

 So if you are one of the romantics this is probably what all your dreams look like. You believe that this what you and Jisung had at this moment and its going to be the only thing that matters. Love is something very cruel. You never know how much something, at this case someone  you have means to you before you lose it.

 We live in a society where the most important thing for people is the money and the carrier. The world has flipped, forgotten about the essentials of caring and loving. It has become a world in which we starve for success and being at the top in the work we do.

This is what happened with Jisung and you. You were perfect for each other and had that flame and energy which, even in the gloomiest day, made you positive and made you guys happy. But you know it had been two of the best years of  you lives and you were already nineteen. Both of you had to r separate your ways again. Jisung is going to England and you to Germany. The three months summer holiday were slipping away so fast in preparing for college. These months you started alienating,knowing that after so little time everything is going to end so eventually  stopped texting goodnight, going out every day and  everything ended without actually anyone to say anything. This is how your story ended.

 Here is Jisung, in England with all there new people and places. Everything started good for him, he was at the top of the class. And was absorbed from the stuff that they were learning. After some time and some short relationships with girls from his class he was lost again. Again the same situation from the last year. He started failing and the only thing he could think about was You. No other eyes were shining like yours, no other smile had this kind of beauty and most of all there was no other person that was better than you.

He missed you, he missed you so much he couldnt even bear the pain that kept him wide awake in the late hours of the nights.He wanted to call you so much but he didnt know if you are gonna pick up and if you pick up what is he supposed to tell you? That he wants you back? That he is sorry he didnt said anything and left as if your relationship havent existed or ask you why you did exactly the same thing?

/There's no way I could ever forget/

Eventually he did it. You picked up immeadiately followed up by a minute or two of silence.

“Hi” the way your voice sounded on the phone made his heart ache.

/For as long as I live and as long as I love,I will never not think about you/

“Hi” the only word that managed to escape of his month.He was shaking.That was you, his y/n,no other girl , just you. He smiled to himself hearing your breathing through the phone.

/From the moment I loved, I knew you were the one/

“I’ve missed you” you whispered .

/We were so beautiful/

He could swear you were nervous, he knew you too well. You missed him too, the thought made his heart skip a beat and the spark in his eyes lost long time ago, was shining brightly again.

/We were so tragic/

“I’ve missed you too.So much.You dont even know” he smiled to the phine hearing the little giggles of yours. The hope was back, the hope that everything is gonna be okay. And it was gonna be okay. He knew it.

/No other magic could ever compare/

masterlist

[yoongiwillforgiveme]

Min Yoongi: Just in Case

I found this in my computer, I spent the last hour editing the story a bit but as always, you know I’m too lazy to proofread so bear with me

Warnings: SMUT (it’s me... duh)

You had been friends for a while now, and it’s obvious your friendship slowly became so much more. At first it was a just crush, but then you both realized that along with the sexual attraction there were feelings involved.

So, with that being said, you care about each other and that’s clear, but the big elephant in the room is that long unresolved sexual tension that all your other friends keep pointing out.

“Why don’t you just take him clubbing, have a couple drinks and all that. He’s a guy, he’ll take the hint if you start rubbing your ass all over him on the dance floor” You chuckle at the thought of taking Yoongi clubbing. You have never in those years of knowing him evee heard him voluntarily suggest going out to dance. You friend obviously doesn’t know this guy as well as you do. “He would find it weird if I take him to a club all of the sudden when I know he hates that scene. And on top of that you want me to start grinding on him in front of people? He would freak out or think that I lost my mind… That’s not a good idea”.

Little do you know Yoongi’s friends keep suggesting similar things to him so he can show you he sees you as more than a friend.

“Hyung… take her out to watch a horror movie. She will get scared and want you to hold her, all girls do that with the guy they like don’t they?”

Yoongi lets out a big sigh and rubs his temples, why did he think it was a good idea to let his members know he has a crush on you? Well, in his defense he didn’t come out and say it out loud, more like, they confronted him about it and he didn’t deny it. “She’s not like that Jungkookie, she loves horror movies, she won’t be scared. And she’ll think it’s fucking weird if ask her out to the movies in the first place when she knows I don’t even like going on my own. That’s not a good idea”

So you both keep playing dumb until one day, Tae and Hobi invite you to a BigHit party held at the company building. They broke another record and they only have time to celebrate for a couple hours there before everyone has to get back to work.

It’s nothing fancy but you want to look put together so you throw on a cute summer mini dress and call it a day.

It starts getting hot with all the staff crammed into one big (but now seemingly tiny) room so you take your jacket off and now you’re not just showing off your toned legs, but a decent amount of cleavage as well.

“Hey, I’m surprised you’re still here, I thought you would have ditched everyone and go back to your studio by now” You say to Yoongi when you make your way to him after seeing he’s still in the room “Yeah, I think it would be rude if I just stayed for 30 minutes and left when even Bang PD is still here”

You caught him stealing glances at you from across the room ever since you got here; it makes you feel really good every time his eyes linger at your legs or at your ass when he thinks no one is looking. You want to be sure he wants you in the same way you want him, so after a couple glasses of champagne and with him looking like a snack in those light ripped jeans and black sweater you finally build up the courage to find out.

“All these years and I think this is the only time I’ve ever been to your work place you know?” You start innocently, testing the waters to see what his response to that could be, secretly hoping he takes the hint

“That’s because I’m away a lot, and when I’m here I’m always in my studio or in the dance room working, it would be boring for you if you came” You’re sure he’s not following, because he’s not lying, all he does is work when he’s at the company building

“So you wouldn’t give me a quick tour if I asked you to right now?” You choose to add a bit of flirtatiousness to your question this time, tilting your head and licking your bottom lip in the process, to hell with subtleness. He stares at your lips for what it seems like an eternity, matching your gesture and licking his own lips in the process, then looking around as if to see if anyone is paying attention to your interaction and then smirks at you like he does on stage to rile up armys because you’ve told him that’s very sexual and he definitely knows what he’s doing to them, only this time, you know he wants you to know he’s flirting with you, something he has never openly done before.

“I would, if you want to let’s go” And he leads you to the exit, walking past some of his members, staff and his managers. All of them know about you and try their best not to show their knowing smiles as they watch how he puts his hand on the small of your back when he opens the door for you.

You walk down the corridor next to each other, you take the elevator and visit a couple floors where he shows you the snack room, some of the practice rooms, the gaming room and some of the rooms you’ve seen them on vlive. There’s some conference rooms open so he shows you those as well, and finally you end up in the studios floor, he motions to the other member’s studio doors but of course you won’t intrude so you just take a mental note on where Hobi, Joon, JK and some of the producers you know are located.

“This is me” You can tell of course, the doormat with the cat is still outside his door, you can’t miss it.

“Where’s the eye scan? Should I cover my eyes and ears so I won’t figure out the password?” You giggle as you tease him, he chuckles and leans over until his lips are more next to your jaw and not your ear, he whispers the code to you and he makes you shiver in excitement

He then motions to the door as if urging you to try it. You enter the numbers and the door opens. You can’t believe he actually gave it to you. This means he trusts you right? This action makes you even weaker at the knees, it feels like such a romantic gesture coming from him, and while you know other people wouldn’t get it, you know his privacy is a huge deal to him, and he doesn’t go around confiding this type of things to just any person.

He trails behind you and closes the door as you take in his sacred work space. There are a couple screens with the legend “GENIUS LAB” on them so you know they’re on, there are lots of computer and music equipment in there, several keyboards and some microphones.  His chair of course, and at the back there’s a modest size black leather couch with a neck pillow, blanket and what appears to be some of his clothes scattered on the floor.

“You really do live here don’t you? All you need is a shower installed and this would be your second home”

“Actually, the showers are down the hall, next to another practice room” He points out with a big grin

“So you have everything you want in here huh?”

“I do now” Your back is facing him so you don’t notice the look he gives your when he says this right away so you just nod. When you turn around he’s gripping the back of his chair so hard his knuckles are turning white, Yoongi is holding back from doing something you might not want, damn his self control. And then you catch the double meaning behind his words… he doesn’t mean he has everything he wants in here now because he can afford it, he means he has you here now, and he wants you.

You trail your finger along the back of his chair without missing his hand and start walking towards the door

“C’mon, I want to see this snack machine on the lounge that Tae keeps raving about” You watch Yoongi swallow and look down at his feet for a second with disappointment written all over his face. He comes towards you and as he grips the handle to open the door you place your hand over his and he stops dead in his tracks and looks at you.

You back him into the wall with your hand barely touching his tummy and you make sure to look him in the eyes and give him more than enough time to dodge you if he doesn’t want this.

You can’t deny you’re scared, you’re about to kiss him and he’s not doing anything, he’s just staring at you with those beautiful brown eyes that you love so much.

You hear him gasp right before your lips touch his, it’s barely a peck on the lips, but you take a step back to read his reaction… nothing. But he’s not pulling back, so you give him another peck, this time on the side and then on the other, finally you do it one more time before you feel his lips start moving against yours. Very lightly, almost hesitatingly

Yoongi is not 100% he’s not imagining this, you kissed him, you finally kissed him, not once, but 4 times now and his body starts reacting after the initial shock has passed. He allows himself to close his eyes and delicately place one hand on your waist and the other one on your cheek. You lovingly place yours on his chest and the both of you get more into the kiss.

It ends all too soon for your liking but his phone starts vibrating against his pocket and you take a step back so he can check who it is.

He mumbles a little sorry, and he checks his phone briefly before turning it off and shoving it back in his jeans. You take in is appearance in the seconds it takes him to do that, his cheeks are slightly tinted and he’s smiling from ear to ear, he looks adorable, not a word most men want to be associated with but that’s what he looks like.

You stare at each other with big grins on your faces before giggling a little. You haven’t said anything yet but it’s not necessary, you think those innocent kisses are the most you’re gonna get out of Yoongi today and that’s okay, so you try to open the door so you can continue your tour around BigHit and hopefully end the night ordering takeout at your place or something before you feel him pull you towards him to kiss you again. You feel his smile against your lips and you feel so happy that you’re making him feel the same way.

This time without interruptions the kisses that once started as innocent start becoming more passionate, and sensual as you trace his bottom lip with your tongue the way you’ve watch him do it so many times before, the way you’ve been dying to do it for so long before biting it gently and you hear him moan. His hands are still gripping your waist but yours start rummaging his chest, his shoulders and hair, tracing your fingertips down his neck gently before trailing one hand back down to his hips and the top of his thighs. That’s when he inadvertently bucks his hips against yours and you feel him rock hard and ready for you. “Shit… sorry” His voice is drowned by a moan and by the way you press yourself against him even harder he guesses he doesn’t need to apologize for getting a boner while he was kissing you. You tug at his hair and squeeze him through his jeans, he grunts and starts kissing your jaw and neck while his hands slowly make their way to your ass. “Wanna sit on the couch?” He asks you with the raspy sensual voice you’ve only heard when you call him after he just woke up.

Instead of replying you start walking towards the couch while holding his hand to drag him with you. Then you push him down and without a second thought you straddle his lap and you both moan at the contact. You waste no time and start moving against him in a tantalizing motion, his hands find their place on hips again, this time to help you find a rhythm. Yoongi looks at you with adoration written on his face as if you weren’t grinding your pussy on his clothed cock.

You start kissing him again; you can’t get enough of each other.

“Do you want to touch me?” You moan and place his hand on the inside of your thigh as he nods. He starts slow, caressing your soft flesh in a teasing manner; never touching you in the place you need him the most.  

You start whining and he chuckles “Cute”

You had enough of his teasing, so you move his hand to touch your heat and he automatically starts rubbing your through your panties. After a while you feel his thumb hook on the side of your underwear and you take the hint. You make a point to look him directly in the eyes as you move your panties to the side so he can touch you properly.

“So pretty” you catch him muttering under his breath, he’s talking to himself but the compliment makes you feel like a Goddess. You start unbuttoning his pants and keep kissing and nipping at his jaw and neck, running your fingers through his hair like you do in your dreams. His heavy length feels just right in your delicate hand, you begin pumping him and when you can’t take it anymore you shove his finger inside you leaving him in a bewildered state. You’re moaning loudly now, if anyone could hear you they would think Yoongi is watching porn right now because you sound beautifully sinful. “More, I need more, please”

He curls his finger inside your velvet pussy and takes it out only to add another one “How many do you want?” My God…  you’re not sure how either of you is going to act once this is over, once your lust is satiated and you both remember how you were begging for Yoongi to finger fuck you and he was asking you how many fingers you could take.

“Two…three, I don’t know…. Oh my God, right there, don’t stop” And he doesn’t, he keeps rubbing your clit in circular motions and he scissors you, hitting that sweet spot when he curls his fingers just the way you need.  You also keep pleasuring him, there’s precum all over your hand and his tip is angry red now, it’s only a matter of time before he cums.

You orgasm hits you when you feel his hot breath against your neck again, licking and kissing you while you cum around his fingers. You hold him tight and he returns the gesture, making you feel safe in his arms as you recover from your high. He doesn’t urge you to carry on so he can finish, and it makes him even more desirable in your eyes. Once you touch him again he whimpers and you can’t help but smile.

“I’m gonna cum… your dress” You feel him put the hand he used to finger your on top of yours as he cums so he doesn’t stain your dress, you hadn’t even thought about it… Such a gentleman… His grunts and the face he makes when he orgasms are so sexy. He looks thoroughly fucked with his messy hair, parted lips and a blushed face, neck and chest.

He grabs the t-shirt on the floor to wipe the mess, but before he can do anything you suck the two fingers that were inside you now also covered in his cum and you hum at the taste. He leans forward and kisses you tasting the mix of your juices. It’s so dirty, most guys are grossed out about tasting their own cum and you realize maybe Yoongi is not only exactly your ideal type in looks and personality, but also in bed.

He then proceeds to finish cleaning you up and you get off his lap so he can fix his pants and hair.

You expect it to be an awkward silence, maybe even a “This was a mistake” or something, but it doesn’t come. Instead he offers you a bottle of water that you happily accept and then place down in the coffee table in front of you once you take a generous sip.

“Are you hungry? We could finish the tour, or we could stay here and order takeout if you want. Or I can take you home and we could order takeout there”  He tells you in a very gentle voice as he grabs  the bottle water he just gave you and takes a sip of it, the action seems oddly intimate. And then you think, well you tasted his cum and he kissed you afterwards, so it’s not a big deal to him if you share a water bottle, it’s a stupid insignificant thing that makes you feel warm and happy inside.

“y/n… what do you want to do?” He’s looking at you as if the last 30 minutes didn’t just happen.

“I’m not that hungry, maybe a burger and fries, but let’s go to my place… I mean, if you don’t have work to do”

“No, that’s fine, let me get my keys then… they’re around here somewhere” He starts rummaging through his desk until he finds his keys and he comes over to where you’re still sitting.

“Did I stain your dress? Do you want to wear a hoodie on top? Let me see” Now that he’s addressing the*ahem* situation so lightly you know for sure he won’t make it awkard and you’re more than thankful.

“No, I don’t think so, let me check your sweater and your jeans” Once you’re both sure you don’t have any evidence on your clothes of the intimate moment you just shared Yoongi takes your hand in his and leads you to the door. Before stepping out he smiles shyly at you and pecks your lips once again.

“Hyung… we were just about to come look for you, there’s cake and if you don’t come soon there won’t be any left for you two. Y/N it’s chocolate, your favorite, hurry up” You bump into Jungkook, Jimin and Tae in front of the elevator and they seem oblivious to you holding hands, they’re all eating their cake and seem genuinely worried that you won’t get a piece if you don’t get back to the party. You love those guys.

“It’s ok, Yoongi is taking me home anyway guys, don’t worry” Yoongi is a man of few words, so he just nods in their direction and you enter the elevator, waving goodbye to the three men in front of you.

“Yah, hyung, she loves chocolate cake, the least you can do is buy her one on your way home then, a good boyfriend would do that” Taehyung says with a big sincere smile on his face right before the doors close when he finally realizes you’re holding hands, something he has never seen you and Yoongi do before.

“I will”

You’re both red as a tomato, Tae implied you are Yoongi’s girlfriend, and Yoongi didn’t deny it. He probably doesn’t think of you as that right now but it means he has no problem letting his friends know you two have a “thing” now.

“Do you want chocolate cake? There’s a bakery a few blocks from here. It’s a good bakery; Jiminie got Jin hyung’s cake from there last year, it was good” You can’t stop smiling like an idiot

“A chocolate milkshake would be better”

“Burger, fries and chocolate milkshake… Because you’re not that hungry huh?” He teases you and you both laugh

“Maybe we can get the cake just in case.” You exit the BigHit building and make your way towards Yoongi’s car, he opens the door for you and smiles at you before closing the door.

“Ok, just in case”

[upset-hufflepuff]

INTERVIEWING CATHERINE SUNFLOWER

thanks for the tag @sirfluffig ily!!!!!!!

(I wrote this lazily and while Cat does speak casually it might still not be perfect sorryyy)

This takes part after Catherine's 5th year, they're interviewing her because they found out what happened with Rakepick.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

What's your name?→ "My name is Catherine Maria Sunflower. Ah, it feels weird to introduce myself with my middle name, haha. Thought I'd be a tad more formal, since it's an interview and all."

Are you single?→ "I wouldn't say so, not unless my partner decided to run away during this interview."

Are you happy?→ "It's a weird time for me right now, I'm not really sure how I feel. Should I feel happy? I don't feel happy is the right word."

Are your parents still married?→ "Good question. I haven't seen my father in years. That being said, I'm not sure my parents ever officially separated, so by law they'd still be...married? Never thought about that actually."

-

EIGHT FACTS

birthplace→ "If you couldn't figure by my weird accent already, I'm irish. Though my mother was actually born and raised in Greece."

hair colour→ "It's er...light brown. Hazel? It's a light brown. Gets a bit funky in the sunshine."

eye colour→ "Traditional Sunflower gold. It's an odd eye colour, from my understanding my family was cursed some generations ago and the gold eyes that came with the curse have stuck. Despite it being a curse they all seem quite proud of it. Go figure."

birthday→ "The 9th of June, 1973."

mood→ "As I said, I can't exactly describe my current mood. I would say I'm still processing some things. It's that feeling when you're feeling all emotions and no emotions at the same time. You felt that?"

gender→ "Despite what some teases from school like to say, I am a lady!"

summer or winter→ "As a kid, I loved winter and the snow. Loved it, favourite season. But having spent so much time in cold, freezing Scotland I might have to say I quite miss a warm summer."

morning or afternoon→ "I'd love to say morning, really. The sunshine, the quiet and the birds singing. But I can't, because I'm not a morning person at all! It's hell for me to wake up so early every morning! So afternoon, I suppose."

-

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

are you in love→ "That's a strong word. Love. I would say...maybe? For now I'm happy where I am, that's a more solid answer."

do you believe in love at first sight→ "Well, not love! Like I said that's a strong, strong word! Of course you can develop an interest at first sight, but not love itself. Sorry if that disappoints anyone."

who ended your last relationship→ "As it happens I am currently in my first relationship! So no one, yet."

have you ever broken someone's heart→ "I've had to reject someone. One of my friends, in fact. It felt bad and I hope I didn't actually 'break his heart'. Gosh, now I feel bad."

are you afraid of commitments→ "As afraid of commitments a 16 year old would be, i imagine. I think I'm generally okay with commitments. I'd love to have a family of my own sometime in the future, I feel maybe I could handle it."

have you hugged someone within the last week?→ "I'm big on hugs, me! I've hugged many people by now, and I plan on hugging more if need be. My arms are always wide open."

have you ever had a secret admirer→ "Well if it's a secret admirer I wouldn't know it, would I? I don't know. I hope not because it would complicate things, seeing as I already have a relationship. But I would be fluttered."

have you ever broken your own heart?→ "I was quite a bit sad when I realized my first love wouldn't happen. But does it count as a heartbreak when you're 13? Or was I 14... Anyways, I've found someone new and everything is okay."

-

SIX CHOICES

love or lust→ "At this age, I don't really know lust as a feeling so much, honestly. But love is tender, and sweet and calm. I think I would pick it anyway."

lemonade or iced tea→ "I have a strong belief that tea is to be served hot only! It's a winter drink! It's an 'I'm sick and I'm in a warm blanket' drink! So for cold beverages, it's definitely lemonade."

cats or dogs→ "I seem to have a strong connection to cats... Dogs can be quite scary if I'm being honest."

a few best friends or many regular friends→ "I've been told I use the word 'friends' very lightly. I do have a few close friends that I mostly hang out with and enjoy the company of, but if you're a person I like you're automatically someone I call a friend."

wild night out or romantic night in→ "Depends on the mood, really, I can go for both! Usually it's up to my partner, because I'm indecisive as hell!"

day or night→ "I do enjoy a quiet starry night, but the day'll have to do it. I really am like a sunflower, need the sun to get my energy!"

-

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

been caught sneaking out→ "My brother has, for sure. Constantly sneaking out, he did. One time we wanted to go to a fair nearby so he snuck me out too. We did get caught but I'm not sure if it counts. Does it?"

fallen down/up the stairs→ "I fell down the stairs all the time as a kid! I tend to run down the stairs very often, though I know it's dangerous. The stairs at Hogwarts probably gave me a scare, and stopped me from running down them. Becoming a prefect also helped, giving me a sense of responsibility and all."

wanted something/someone so badly it hurt?→ "Definitely. Kept me up during the night, as well. I don't think I need to point out what I'm talking about, it's rather obvious isn't it? I do have quite the reputation already."

wanted to disappear→"I've never wanted to disappear, because there would always be someone I leave behind. I wouldn't want anyone close to me to feel what I felt when my father or my brother disappeared. It would be wrong. I do occasionally wish that my life was different, that I was in a different world, maybe, where everything was calmer, but not to disappear and leave everyone behind."

-

FOUR PREFERENCES

smile or eyes→ "Eyes during a smile!"

shorter or taller→ "If you're asking for a partner, I think shorter. I like being the tall one. But in general I don't care. All heights are good and nice"

intelligence or attraction→ "Bit of both?"

hook-up or relationship→ "All for relationship. Apart from the fact that I'm 15 and I don't do hook-ups, I feel like having a steady relationship would be best."

-

FAMILY

do you and your family get along→ "You're gonna have to specify the member, haha. The relationship I have with my mum, for example, is quite different from the one I have with my grandad. Completely different worlds. But I would say I'm in generally good terms with most of my family."

would you say you have a "messed up life"→ "That's an unnecessary question. You wouldn't be here if I didn't. Unless you're looking to interview a normal and morning student in which case in afraid I'm going to ask you to find someone else!"

have you ever run away from home→ "I did think of doing so sometimes, when I was a little girl! But as I said, no. I couldn't leave people behind. It would be too much to bare."

have you ever gotten kicked out→ "Not yet! Haha..."

-

FRIENDS

do you secretly hate one of your friends→ "Dearie me, I could never! I find it hard to hate anyone, really. Which can actually be bad."

do you consider all of your friends good friends→ "Well, er, I suppose? I don't think of anyone as a horrible friend. I don't really want to set a standard, friendship isn't a school test. I think... I think everyone is okay."

who is your best friend→ "I might have one or two that I like a tad bit more, but I know my friends will be reading this and I don't want them to think I play favourites. I love you all!"

who knows everything about you→ "Everything? As in, everything everything? Not sure there is anyone. There are some things I only tell my mom, I only tell my best friend or I only tell my partner. And there are some things I tell nobody. I think people know bits of me, but not the whole me at once."

-

"Will that be all? Lovely. It was really nice to be with you, I hope you have a wonderful rest of the day! I do need to get back to my dorm before it gets dark, so it's a goodnight from me!"

Catherine walks happily until she's out of sight. The interviewer is baffled from the girl's joyful nature, considering some of her melancholic answers. The interview just conducted ended up leaving them with more questions than before.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #218

“give me liberty or death. ... ah, fuck it, just give me death.”

Do you know anyone who had to have tubes put in their ears as a baby? Me. What is the nearest glass object to you? A cup. Were either of your parents baptized? I'm sure my mom was, but I have no clue about Dad. The last concert that you were at, was there a mosh pit? No. What was the last computer game that you played? World of Warcraft. If you had to choose a new cell phone, what phone would you pick? Some sort of iPhone. I hate my Samsung. Has anyone killed one of your pets before? People have run over our cats before, but I'm certain that wasn't intentional. Does your bathroom have a theme to it? No. Are any rooms in your house themed? No. Is there a song that as soon as you hear it you are happier? At least to a degree. Do you have a push lawnmower or a riding lawnmower? We don't have one; Mom pays someone to do it. He uses a riding one, though. When was the last time someone teased you? Idr. Would you trust a vehicle that automatically parallel parks for you? Lmao could probably do it better than I could. Have you ever hit a car while parking? No, but I rarely drive anyway and never park close to others. When you are eating fast food, do you tend to get burgers or chicken? Burgers. When was the last time you used Microsoft Excel? No clue. What was the last thing that you recorded? I was WAY too excited the rare felhound mount dropped for me in WoW so I had to show Sara while I screamed lmao. Have you ever edited an article on Wikipedia? No. Do you like the show Futurama? I've never been into what I've seen. Have you ever found an arrow head? I don't remember ever having had. Have you given up any bad habits for someone? Don't think so. Who is with you? My cat's in the room, as is of course Venus. In what part of your life so far, have you learnt the most about yourself? 2017-2018, probably. Have you ever been in a fist fight? No. What aggravates you most about people in general? I guess if you want to put all humans together, I guess you never know what's gonna hurt who. When they have a valid reason to be hurt by it, anyway. Are your ears pierced? Twice in each lobe and then my right tragus. What did you last say out loud? Something to Teddy about wanting so much attention. Not at all in a bad way. Do you like anything about being angry? Fuck no. Did you have a summer job this year? No. Where do you wish you were? I've been dying to be at Sara's BAD LATELY MY MAN. Do you get surprises often? No, nor do I like them. I get too nervous. Name a crime you have committed? Illegally downloading things. Do you tell people when they get on your nerves? No, not normally. You're in jail… Who bails you out? Dad, most likely, taking money into account. I don't even know if he could afford bailing someone out, though. Are your feelings hurt easily? YEAH. What’s the ultimate cake topping? Just frosting. Have you ever ridden a motorcycle? No. Do you ever forward or reply to chain mails? Never. Have you ever tried to make your own alcohol? Nope. If you were to join one of the armed forces, which would it be? Lol no. Have you ever been to see stand up comedy? No. Have you ever needed stitches? At least twice. Have you ever been in a submarine? No. What would you do if someone proposed to you tomorrow? I'd say no, even if it was Sara. We're not ready for that yet. Which fictional character do you wish was real? Sobs all my favorites of everything are villains and therefore shouldn't be brought to life. Uhhhh. Idk. Maybe Harry Mason from SH 'cuz the entire human population deserves a dad like that. Do you own a lava lamp? I wish. Have you ever been in a hot tub or sauna? Yes to hot tub, but you couldn't pay me to set foot in a sauna. Have you ever had chicken pox? No. Do you believe there used to be dragons? No. We would've found fossil evidence by now, I think. Who’s your favorite god from ancient history? Man, idk. I love mythology. But memory is pretty faint though so I don't remember what most did/what they stand for. What was the last present you received? Uhhhh I'm not sure. Could you go out with someone who had a child from a previous relationship? No. I am not being a mother figure for anyone. What was your first alcoholic drink? Hard lemonade. What was your first detention for? I've only ever had detention for excessive tardies. Did you ever have a treehouse as a kid? No. Have you ever appeared on YouTube? EW LET'S FORGET THAT. Have you ever been on radio? No. Do you like your own name? I do. Could you ever have an affair with a married person? Fuck no. Could you ever split up a couple for one reason or another? I mean I'd urge one to leave the other if they were abusive or not really in love or something like that. I wouldn't out of my own interests. Which celebrity do you find the most annoying? The Paul brothers are fucking obnoxious trash. Is there anyone you work with that you don’t get along with? Why? N/A Have you ever been romantically interested in a coworker? No. Have you ever been romantically involved with a coworker? No. What is the game you’re currently playing most often on your phone? None. Do you have an opinion on adopting/purchasing a pet? Adopt. I understand the temptation of wanting a certain breed of pet, but you've gotta think beyond your desires here. There are so, so, SO many homeless cats and dogs especially that need homes. When was the last time you climbed a tree? Never, I believe. Why were you last pulled over? I never have been, thank GOD. Do you have any friends that own a private lake? I can just about guarantee no. Are you cool with swimming in a lake? It would depend on the lake. Do you have a drone? No. Do you have any t-shirts from any local businesses? No. Do you listen to any talk shows or podcasts? Only Mark's and his friends'. Do you know anyone who’s had their own podcast? I don't think so. Where were you the last time you stayed in a hotel? The beach. Do you know anyone who is freaked out by cats? No. What kind of music do your parents listen to? Mom loves (classic) metal and rock like me, but she also enjoys Christian music. Dad likes rock and classic metal/rock. What do you do when you can’t escape thoughts of your ex? I mean, I'm a bad person to ask, because my PTSD is tied to my ex. My case is far more extreme. All you really can do is try to do things to distract yourself. What do you think about indoor pets? Love 'em. How it should be most of the time for most animals. Would you agree that love is blind? Very. Did your first real significant other change you at all? Yes. Are you waiting to have sex until you’re married? I don't think so, if I was to ever be in that situation with a man again. How many schools have you been to? Five, but I'm about to start my sixth. Do any songs give you goosebumps? I get goosebumps very, VERY easily when it comes to music. I don't even have to really like the song. What do you think about divorce? Sadly necessary in extreme cases. What’s your favorite way to eat peanut butter? In a Reese's lol. Do you still watch any cartoons meant for kids? I don't watch TV now, but if I was still into watching shows, I'd totally still follow Pokemon. What’s your favorite kind of cereal? Man, idk. Maybe Cinnamon Toast Crunch. What were you doing the last time you were on a roof? Just sitting up there. Do you have any stickers on your car? Mom has I think one? Have you ever given someone flowers? I'll always remember this one Mother's Day where I went down our old path with my sister and friend and we picked up SO many flowers to put in a glass cup as a bouquet for Mom. So yeah. Do you have any stickers on your laptop? No. Do you listen to Nirvana? I don't usually search them out, but they're on my iPod, and I won't generally skip 'em if a Nirvana song comes along. What is one thing stopping you from becoming a veterinarian? I hate seeing animals in pain and/or dying. Are you easily scared by horror movies? Not at all. How old were you when you were first pulled over by the police? I've never been pulled over. When was the last time you drank out of a champagne glass? I've no idea. Do you enjoy plane journeys, if you’ve ever been on one? If we're just talking the ride and not the process leading up to it, and so long I've the window seat, yeah, they're fine. What’s the last movie you’ve seen in theaters and can honestly say you enjoyed? I adored the live action TLK, truly and thoroughly. I didn't at all get the hate. Like I know a common criticism is they took the realism too far (they were lacking in expression), but I liked that, honestly. It made it feel all the more real. I mean honestly, I possibly liked it more than the animated (save for the "Be Prepared" singing), and that movie is sacred to me. Have you ever seen your father cry? I've only seen him tear up like once in my life. How would your parents react if you got pregnant? They'd be confused as fuck because I'm the polar opposite of promiscuous, monogamous, advise that to only happen after marriage, and am with a girl. If you’re in a relationship, how is it going? If you’re single, are you looking for someone? It's going great. We're just ready to no longer be long-distance. How big is your bed? Queen-sized. Do you believe the Holocaust happened? No??????????? fucking????????????????? shit??????????????????????????????? Ever spent any time on a military base? No. Have you ever tried putting black pepper on mac ‘n’ cheese? (It’s good!) Yes, delicious. Has a wild animal ever been loose in your house? Not our current house. We lived in the woods beforehand, and we did have mild mice problems in the winter. Have you ever felt a temperature below 0? No. Have you ever seen a volcano? Not in person. Are you a fan of Janis Joplin? I've actually never really listened to her. Have you ever mowed the lawn (even a little bit)? No. What’s the closest river to you? The Tar River. Don't mind sharing considering it's ginormous. Who were the last 3 males you talked to? My nephew, his dad, then my own dad. What was the last form of communication you used to speak to your best friend? (e.g. text message, phone call) Text. What was the last alcoholic drink you tried for the first time? Uhhhh I think some kind of white wine? Did you like it? Not in the slightest. What’s your favorite feature of the person you’re currently interested in? She has the cutest random little freckle on her hip. Do you remember the first CD you ever bought? I believe the first I personally wanted and got was the Swan Songs album by Hollywood Undead. Where is your favorite place to get fries? You have NOT lived until you've eaten Bojangle's fries. They have a special seasoning that is absolutely spectacular. The Bojangle's experience is so important that it's the first place we went when Sara first came here lmao. Do you know anyone who was raised by their grandparents? Don't believe so. Have you ever made your own pie from scratch? No. What is your favorite gaming console? PS2, always. What was the last major city you visited? Chicago. I mean, or Raleigh, if you count it as a "major" one. How many romantic relationships have you been in so far? I only really consider Jason and Sara as "romantic" relationships. Have you ever used a leaf blower? No. What would you say is the worst part of high school, period? The shift from child to young adult. Hormones make the experience so, so much more difficult than it needs to be. What is your favorite color of apple? Red, green or yellow? Red. They're usually the most crisp. If you were dying who would you say goodbye to first out of everyone? It'd either be Mom or Sara, definitely. I can't really say without being in that moment, idk. Are you someone who actually likes to babysit children? Fuck no. I've only ever done it once and never will again, even though the one occasion went fine. Who was the last person to call you fat, if anyone at all? Myself lmao. What color skin does the last person you danced with have? White. Has your mother ever called your school because of your grades? No. What is the worst name a friend has ever called you? Do you remember? I can promise you one has most certainly called me a bitch or worse. Have you ever wanted to be in a band? What position exactly? At the start of high school, I remember I'd sometimes daydream about being a guitarist, but it was never something I like, actively craved. Who is your role model or hero in life if you have one? *blinks* Do you ever call your cousins just to talk to them randomly? No. When did you last spend the night at someone’s house? December of last year. Do you ever have to wash your clothes at someone else’s house? If I'm at Sara's. Do you prefer it when it gets darker earlier? NO. I'm much unlike I used to be in that I prefer brightness. It actually does affect my mood; I recommend to aaaaanybody who suffers from depression to stay in a bright room. I used to live in the dark as well, and I promise, it makes a difference. Have you ever learned any self-defense? If not, would you be interested in learning? No, and yes, especially with how incredibly paranoid I am. Do you like Gushers? Yaaaaas hunty. Can you touch your nose with your tongue? No. When was the last time you felt like you didn’t have anything to worry about? LOL HUH??????? NO WORRIES??????? How old was the last child that you spoke to? Three. What is the name of the last perfume you put on? "Crazy Lady." That perfume is years upon YEARS old. It was a birthday present from Summer, and seeing as I barely ever wear perfume, it's still in my room. Expired, I'm sure, lol. Are you waiting for something to arrive in the mail? No. Have your parents ever forgotten your birthday? No. Do you like your orange juice with lots or no pulp? NONONONONONONO. I absolutely will not drink orange juice with pulp. Did the Spanish classes have an “El Dia de Los Muertos” (Day of the Dead) fiesta at school? I think so? How long have you had the hairbrush you are currently using? I use a comb now that we've had actually forever. What projects are you doing now for school? I'm not in school, not quite yet anyway. :') Do you know what durian is? Do you like it? No. I would never try it. What’s the most number of comments you have on a Facebook picture? What is the picture of? I don't know, and I don't plan on looking. Most likely some selfie. Do you like coconut flavored things? NO. Coconut is disgusting. Have you ever met a famous author before? No. Do you know anybody who has been raped before? I don't think so, and I truly hope not... How often do you get a fever? Like, never. What kind of laundry basket do you use? It's just a plain, white, plastic one. As a child, did you ever have a clown or a magician at your birthday parties? I actually believe I had both. I know I had a pair of clowns once, and with how into magic I was, I would expect I've had had one. Do you have a permit or license? I have my permit. It's more than due time I work more towards my license... List all the stores you’ve been in this past month. I think the only one is PetSmart. Have you ever thrown food at a stranger in a movie theater? No, because I was never that childish. Does/did either of your parents serve in the military? No. Do you like sour candy? My favorite! Where would you like to go on your honeymoon? Most likely Pink Sands Beach in the Bahamas, but honestly I'm terrified of the Bermuda Triangle, so that's unlikely, lmao. That black sand beach in Hawaii, however, will do. Are all nighters something you have grown used to? BIIIIIIITCH I've outgrown that shit. I'm rarely up past 10 at the latest these days. Is there anybody you’re not ashamed to tell anything to? Anything, no. Smoothies or slushies? Slushies. Ignoring nutrition, could you live off veggies for the rest of your life? Nooooooo. Elaborate on a way you have volunteered? I once volunteered at PetSmart during an adoption event, giving the cats and dogs attention while people visited. I absolutely fell in LOVE with a dog there that I begged Mom to get, and she came pretty close. I cried leaving, ha ha... Does anybody know about your sex life other than your partners? No. If you could see any musician live, front row, who would you choose? Um, Ozzy????? Duh??????? My Dad???????? Is great?????????????? If you had to choose between a million dollars or to be able to change a regret? And here you have it, the stupidest question I've seen on a survey. Have you ever been around someone who was high? Yeah. Could you handle living with a male roommate? No, with how afraid I am of men. It'd only work if it was with a long-time bf. Have you spoken to your mother today? Father? For once, both. Do you live by yourself? No. Do you shower every day? No, it's unhealthy and I don't find every day necessary. Especially when you live my hermit life. Is English your native language? Yes. Who is your favorite character from Harry Potter? N/A Do you watch PewDiePie? Very, very rarely. I'm not that into his content anymore, and his humor changed from more original to heavily meme-ish. Are you married? No. Did you ever color your hair pink? No, but totally not apposed. Do you have any subscribers on YouTube? Yeah, some. Do you salt your popcorn? Sadly. Do you like McDonalds? Don't even try to bullshit, you don't mind McD's. Do you have a Steam account? Yeah. Have you ever played Five Nights at Freddy’s? No. It's a cool series though, and I enjoy watching LPs of it. Do you like horror movies? YESSSSSS my favorite. Is your favorite animal a dog? No. Do you like chicken nuggets? mmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMM What color is the ceiling in the room? White. Do you like religion? It's interesting, but has done a shitload of evil. However, it has also made wonderful people. It depends on how you use it. Have you ever tried Akinator? Yeah. Can you twerk? Idk and idc. Do you like dabbing? It looks remarkably stupid/like you're sneezing into your elbow. Do you like fishing? I do, but I've stopped doing it. I feel too bad for the fish. Do you like sleeping? Oh fuck yeah. What do you think of Fifty Shades of Grey? Fucking disgusting, whether in book or movie format. Do you swear in front of children? No. Which Pirates of the Caribbean do you like the most? Never watched 'em. What do you think of Rob Zombie? I enjoy a lot of his music. How far out of your age bracket would you date? Once you hit 10 years, it's a no for me. Have you ever had an STD? No. Is the area you live in more liberal or conservative? I live in the South. Take a wild guess. Have you picked out flower petals, saying, ‘He loves me, he loves me not?' No. Do you like to pace? It's not that I "like" to, it's just a habit. What’s the greatest thing about science? Learning about the world around us. Discovering how life works. Does it annoy you when people dumb themselves down to be cool? It's not "annoying," it's just stupid. Intelligence is cool. What’s a song you like from the genre you hate? "When The Stars Go Blue" by Tim McGraw is a heavy exception. I adore that song. Are your parents divorced? Yeah, they separated when I was like, 16-17. Who was your first friend? Brianna. Have you ever been to Germany? Hell, I wish. What do you hear right now? I'm currently obsessed with "Brand New Numb" by Motionless In White. Have you ever been ice skating? No. Have you ever been to the Statue of Liberty? No. Would you consider yourself a shy person? I am one of the shyest people you will ever meet in your life. Do you like techno? Yeah, actually. I've really gotten into electronic music. How many windows are in the room you’re in? Two. Can you whistle? No. My lip ring is probably what makes me unable to anymore. How many X-rays have you had in the last 2 years? Three. One of my knees, then over the course of two years, I believe two for my teeth at the dentist. Are you on good terms with your last ex? Yeah. Do you own an Xbox? No. Favorite Snapchat filter? I've never used Snapchat before. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two. What’s the worst thing you have ever done? Depends on how you mean "worst." Most damaging to me, let myself turn Jason into a god in my head and nearly kill myself for it. As far as most immoral, probably be partially responsible for why my former best friend and her bf broke up because he wound up liking me because I was a dumb 12 y/o. What's your favorite candle scent? Probably coffee or cinnamon rolls. Do you take any medications daily? Yeah. What is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) An annoying combo. What type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) A small one. Are you going to change your last name when you get married? Yes, I hate my last name. Last person you called? Mom. Chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? I don't like sprinkles at all. The texture ruins treats. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Mom, I'm sure. Do you think vlogging in public is scary? I wouldn't say "scary," just incredibly awkward. You'd never see me do it. Would you want to be in a collab channel on YouTube? I don't even want to risk popularity, so no. Do you watch any collab channels? Which ones? Game Grumps and Sam & Colby, mainly. What colors have you dyed your hair, if any? Black, purple, and red. What is your gender and sexual orientation? Female and bisexual. Have you been to an escape room? Was it a success? No, but they seem REALLY fun. Ever performed on stage? Was it scary or amazing or both? Yeah, many times for dance. It was really neither for me. Have you ever recorded a cover of a song? No. Have you tried the Beyond or Impossible burger? Thoughts? No, but I want to, especially as I plan on returning to vegetarianism at one point. When was the last time you ate your all-time favorite candy? Oh wow, months. When was the last time you made friends with old enemies? Some time last year, Rachel and I reconnected. She's cool as hell now. When was the last time you took time to pray? It's been a long time. I don't believe it does anything. What is a movie that you heard about recently that you do NOT want to see? Is that "Cats" movie real or was the trailer a fever dream???? What do you do during long trips in the car? I just blare music. Best kind of music to dance to? And the worst kind of music to dance to? I really love "different" songs that warrant a modern sort of dance style. It was my favorite when I took dance, and it's by far my favorite to watch. Worst, I guess like, screamo. How would you dance???? Last candy you tried that you did not enjoy? Or one that you did enjoy? Oh my god. So I tried that new Reese's doughnut from Krispy Kreme today, and it. Was. Repulsive. A candy I actually liked, idk. I rarely ever have treats anymore. Were you a chubby or thin baby? I was normal. Have you ever not given a tip at a restaurant? Why didn’t you? N/A, y'all know my money situation. What is the most outrageous thing you’ve considered doing lately? Okay, I'll admit I at least briefly pondered the possibility of getting a nipple pierced after an eternity of saying I never would lmao. I'm not, tho. Have you ever known somebody who ran away? Most likely. What are your thoughts on Batman? I think it's cool he has that policy of never killing anyone, and he also doesn't have any actual powers, does he? I don't remember. The whole Batman universe (or comics for that matter) is one I don't really connect to anymore, as it was Jason's obsession, so it's a dangerous topic for me. When I say Dr. Seuss, what is the first thing that comes to mind? Green Eggs and Ham. I loooved that book as a kid. Rollercoasters that go upside down… yes please or no thank you? Hell to the motherfuckin no thanks. Is there a certain place or store you especially hate going to? Grocery stores. What was the last animal/pet that you met? There was a BEAUTIFUL standard poodle Mom and I briefly interacted with at the pet store a week or so back. Is there something in particular you always seem to forget? Straighten the shower curtain after I get out so it dries properly. When was the last time you had to wait in line for longer than a few minutes? *shrugs* Have you ever written a review for a product you bought online? No. What was the last board game you played? I think it was all the way back when Sara, Girt, and I played Scrabble.

[tamiddyinyourcity]

I FINALLY CRACKED THE CODE

My intimacy issues stem from people going the extra mile to make it seem like they're romantically interested in me, when in reality, they just want to fuck and get an ego boost from whatever they do!

But if I do the same, it's considered selfish, or being whore-ish. (But who the hell cares what I do with my vulva, if i wanna fling my cat six ways to hell then itll be a blessing to do so.)

And so its ironically the non-committal cheating dudes that will be like "so what, youre gonna just date someone else even if we arent a thing?"

...

Only a weak man gets insecure over that.

Who blatantly can admit they would never become a thing with me, then turns around and gets mad that i go on a date with someone who actually shows affection for me?

Who can take me on nonstop dates then suddenly make huge promises they wont live up to, and drop me off like trash on the curb instead of just telling me its too serious.... when i wasnt looking for serious, in the first place?

Who can say they want nothing more than to be with me and only me, just to change their mind three hours later, telling me that they no longer like me, and are now in love with their best friend the second they hear you two just became an item?

Who else can i open up to about my fears due to previous exes and promise they wont do that, just to do the exact same?

Oh, right... like.....

All of my ex boyfriends.

-----------------------------------

There's a reason I told myself I wouldn't get tied down this summer, and its since deep down i know that i can be seen as beautiful and amazing to someone one second, then the next second, nothing but a place to dump their loads and swear at whenever they feel fucking upset.

Why hold myself back? Ive got a long history of men doing the whole "I wanna hook up, but i wanna feel something too!", and egging on more in the most pointless ways possible. It never leads to anything good. Just things like being ghosted on for plans on Christmas Eve and sitting in my bedroom wondering why things couldnt work out, laying next to men who stopped caring about me once they nutted, and overall hating every single thing about this shit.

And like...

Now I met this one dude. Hes a cool guy, we met at a few cool networking party events maybe a year ago: I thought they were cute, but I was like 17, and they lived extremely far away.

And either last month or earlier this month, I ran into them in public, heading to the same event. Guess what? Now I'm of age and they're now much closer, since theyve moved to my area.

Hell yes.

To make a long story short, theyre sweet, and its been maybe three days but my legs still feel sore. I.... Just feel nervous.

One second it's "I'm gonna play the field, lets be a hot girl for the summer!", to having breakfast with someone i spent the whole night kissing with.

Its a crossroads of what I really want.

Do I want sexual freedom on a path with like, no ending, or someone I'm relatively compatible with who i might fall off with some day or another?

.....

It REALLY doesn't help that my intuition for several of my previous exes worked, even the most surprising ones, so.... it's also a crossroads between "bitch are you really gonna ignore your intuition?", and "bitch is it really better to have loved and lost than to have never even gave it a shot?"

A cross between "give myself huge paranoia and spare a heartbreak" and "spare potential paranoia and walk into something where ill be afraid to walk out of again".

Lots of fears.....

Hell; even my last "somewhat official" boyfriend made me almost wish I had never freaking met him. Its overwhelming as fuck. Im emotionally withdrawn and my self esteem only had JUST risen..... im just sorta scared and this shit really isnt helping.

So i guess i possibly like this dude.

[dork-empress]

Yellow Flowers and Punch

Rating: General Audiences

Category: M/M

Fandom: Trollhunters (Cartoon)

Relationship: Steve Palchuk/Eli Pepperjack

Characters: Steve Palchuk Eli Pepperjack Toby Domzalski Darci Scott Mary Wang Shannon Longhannon

Additional Tags: First Dates Homecoming Bad date Bullying Alcohol

Eli waits anxiously for his first 'date' with Steve, but some of Steve's friends arrive to spoil the party

I was going to have this as one section of a 5+1 I'm writing, but it exploded so I'll do something else for that section.

Goes along with my fic 'You're Alright' but can probably be read independently, theres just reference to the fact Steve asked Eli to homecoming.

“Mooooom,” Eli whined, “It’s not prom, you don’t need to take pictures.”

“But you have a DATE!” She said, practically jumping up and down, “And you look so handsome and fancy! We have to commemorate the occasion.”

Eli groaned and mumbled under his breath that it wasn’t a date. Though, truth be told he wasn’t sure about that. Steve had asked him out to the dance while they were stargazing and had spelled out the question in christmas lights, which was romantic as all hell and made Eli strongly believe his heart was going to burst. But still, Steve had never said it was a date, and Eli didn’t want to assume.

Then again, he’d never said it was ‘just as friends’ either. His heart did a little jump every time he reminded himself of that.

The doorbell rang. “Oh! That’s probably him!” His mother squealed, going to answer before Eli could move.

“Mom don’t--” Eli wasn’t even sure what he was going to warn his mother against, but he felt like there should be something.

Ignoring her son, Mrs. Pepperjack opened the door to reveal Steve, standing with a flower in hand. “Oh, how sweet! Eli, come look.” Eli came over, shrugging his shoulders. Flowers...that was DEFINITELY Romantic, right?

Steve smiled. “You look nice,” Eli looked down at his own outfit, a green button down and khaki slacks. His mom made him wear a tie, shiny and silver. She had to tie it for him.

“Thanks,” He said, rubbing the back of his neck, “you too,” Steve was a bit more classic, white shirt, blazer, and bow tie. Eli wondered if he was nervous too.

Steve handed him the flowers, “here,” he said a touch too forcefully. Eli smirked, taking them. They were yellow, and didn’t look in the best condition. Yellow flowers meant friendship, right? Oh god this was confusing.

“Thanks,” He said nervously.

“Here, let me take those and put them in water,”Mrs. Pepperjack snatched the flowers up and rushed to the kitchen, “don’t move! I need pictures of the both of you!”

“Mooom,” Eli whined, but Steve snorted.

“No worries, Mrs. P!” Steve smirked.

Neither of them met each other’s eyes or spoke as they waited. The photos were stiff and awkward, and then Eli rushed them both out of the house.

“I am sooooo sorry,” Eli said instantly, as Steve led him to his Vespa, “she gets excitable.”

“Gee, I wonder who that reminds me of,” Steve said. Eli frowned at him, “you’ve never seen the way your face gets when you talk about conspiracies have you?”

Eli covered his face, “is it bad?”

Steve chuckled, “Nah. Not at all.” He got on his Vespa, “Come on, let’s do this.”

Eli started shaking as they made their way into the gymnasium, while Steve stood up taller, emboldened by the presence of his schoolmates. Eli was not emboldened. Eli was terrified.

Immediately they were immersed in the low buzz of chatter covered by the music booming from the speakers. They’d gotten Krel to DJ this year, and it seemed like he was still trying some of his more experimental stuff. It was early enough in the dance that people weren’t really dancing yet, just milling. Eli’s eyes darted around the room, seeing where they could go, or what they could do.

“Hey, Steve,” A cold chill ran through Eli’s spine as he recognized the voice belonging to Brad, one of Steve’s football buddies. “What took you so long, man?”

Brad and their other friend, Kevin, came over, full bro stride in process. Eli knew exactly how fast he would have to walk to try and escape that stride, but he fought his instincts and stayed in place. “Hey, guys!” Steve said, grinning broadly, and unintentionally copying their posture. Eli wasn’t even sure he knew he was doing it. “Whatsup?”

Brad and Kevin came over, giving Steve the traditional bro-hug. Their eyes inevitably turned on Eli, and Kevin’s smirk turned to a scowl. “What’re you lookin’ at?”

Eli shrunk into himself, wishing upon wish that he could face high school bullies with the same confidence as he faced literal monsters.

Thankfully, he wasn’t alone this time. Steve shoved Kevin back, “Not cool man.” he said, frowning and beefing himself up to the perfect ‘alpha male’ posture. “I told you to lay off him now.”

“Yeah, man,” Brad said, snickering, “Didn’t you here. Little buddies a full-grown freak-slayer now.” Brad hooked Eli into a half-Nelson and noogied the top of his head. It was a stupid thing to be thinking about, but he worked hard on his hair! He didn’t want it messed up.

“Well, takes one to slay one, I guess,” Kevin said, laughing, “Steve, come on, Brad got stuff to spike the punch bowl, it’s gonna be hilarious.”

Steve actually laughed, and it felt like a punch to Eli’s gut. “Yeah, sure, sounds fun,” Steve said, “I’ll keep cover.”

Brad and Kevin walked as non-chalantly over to the snack table as they could, which wasn’t exactly subtle. Steve went to follow and Eli grabbed his arm. “You’re not actually going to spike the punch bowl, are you?”

Steve shrugged, “Why not? It’s funny.”

A hundred responses flew by Eli’s mind, and he didn’t know where to start. “You’re going to get in trouble!” he said urgently, wishing he could whisper, but it was impossible with the music. It sounded like whale songs.

“Only if I get caught,” Steve said with a wink, that Eli would have found charming if he weren’t so devastated. “I’ll come find you after, ok? The dance should have picked up by then. Alright?”

Eli wanted to explain how what Steve was doing was wrong, wanted to yell at him for leaving him two minutes after they arrived...but all he did was say, “Alright” and watch as Steve ran off.

And there he was, stranded in a hot, stuffy room with all his classmates. In other news, his worst nightmare. Well, one of his worst nightmares. It was in the top 5.

His tie started feeling too tight, and no matter how many times he adjusted it, it felt like a noose. The music was pounding in his ears with no sense of melody. Whatever it was made his blood feel like it was pulsing out of his eardrums, ready to burst.

He heard a familiar voice and picked his head up. “Hey, Eli!” the words became clear through the music. Toby was calling him. “Come over here!”

Reluctant to move from his spot, Eli made his way over. Toby was with Darcy (dressed in her mascot costume for some reason) Aja, Shannon, and Mary. Darcy and Shannon were chatting about something, Mary on her phone, either trying to text, take a selfie, or both, it was unclear, and Aja was dancing along to Krel’s odd music, in moves Eli had never seen. “Hey, what’s up!” Toby said, “You ready to battle it out for homecoming king?”

“Oh, y-yeah,” Eli said. He’d been so consumed with worry about his date, he’d forgotten the competition, “Can’t wait.”

“So, we’re trying to form a dance circle,” Darcy said, being pulled from her conversation with Shannon, “You know, really get the party started.”

“You can dance with me, for now!” Mary said, “My date from Northwest Oaks is running late, and Shannon says she’ll dance with Aja.” They all turned to the platinum blonde briefly, but then Mary put a hand to her mouth and did her best to whisper, “Although we haven’t figured out HOW yet.”

Eli swallowed. It was nice of her to say so, everyone knew the popular girls didn’t really like to be seen with the complete-total-loser boys. The very cynical part of Eli’s brain wondered if it was because she knew he was gay, and was only willing because she might get a ‘cool gay best friend.’ Some girls had tried to put him in that position before. It did not work out. “Um, actually,” he said, “I’m with someone.” He didn’t specify whether he meant at the dance or in life. Frankly, he didn’t know.

The girls didn’t mind, cooing as one “oooOOOOooooh,” “Eli’s got a date!” Shannon said.

“Oh my gosh!” Mary said, jumping on the balls of her feet, “WhoisitwhoisitwhoISIT?!”

Eli blushed and massaged the back of his neck. “Steve,” he said, soft enough they might not have heard.

Their blank stares told him they did. “Wait,” Toby said, blinking as though he was trying to figure out a math problem. “You mean, Steve Palchuk? That Steve?”

“Yeah,” Eli said, shifting uncomfortably. It had seemed like such a wonderful idea at the time, but now….now he wasn’t sure.

“Wow,” Shannon said, trying to sound intrigued, “I--definitely wasn’t expecting that.”

“Yeah,” Darci agreed, “I mean, I heard you guys were doing that...that creepslayer thing, right?” Eli nodded, “Well, I guess he’s changed a lot in the past year.”

“He has,” Eli said, meaning it, as he smiled. “We’ve spent a lot of time together this summer, it was great.”

“Aw, thats nice,” Mary said, “Where is he now?”

Eli’s face fell. He didn’t know how to explain or excuse what Steve was doing.

“Well, as long as you’re happy,” Shannon said.

Was he happy? Eli shifted uncomfortably. “I…” Eli swallowed, “I have to go.”

He ran out of the gym as quickly as he could without bringing too much attention to himself. He wasn’t sure how much success he had there, but it was an attempt.

As a general rule, he tended to avoid public school bathrooms, choosing instead to go right before class, and once right when he got home. It was dirty and covered in graffiti, a great deal of it inappropriate, and he didn’t even want to think about what was under his shoes. Still, this was his best shot at avoiding Coach Lawrence wandering around the school looking for strays.

He locked himself in a stall, resting his back on the back of the door. He took a breath, trying to figure out whether it was worth calling his mom to come pick him up. He sniffed, remembering how excited she was. Remembering how excited HE was. He really thought he and Steve had a chance.

The bathroom door opened and he stood still. “Hey, Eli, you in here?”

Eli stood perfectly still, trying to move as little as possible. It was Steve. Eli wasn’t sure he wanted to see him right then. “Eli,” Steve said, “I can see your zip slips underneath the stall door.”

Dammit. Reluctantly, he stepped out of the stall, hanging his head. “Hey,” Steve said, his voice going down to his kind voice and reaching out to hold Eli’s arms. “What’s going on?”

Eli shrugged, and tried to turn away, but ever so gently, Steve turned him back. “Talk to me.”

“Why would you want to talk to me now?” Eli muttered, “you seemed fine just talking to your friends.”

Steve frowned, “What? Are you talking about Brad and Kevin? We were just messing around a bit, I told you I’d be right back.”

Eli rolled his eyes, “That’s what you call ‘messing around?’ Spiking everyone’s punch?”

“Oh come on,” Steve said, “It’s funny!”

“It’s not!” Eli said, his voice raising, “It’s bullying!”

The word hit Steve like a bulldozer. He visibly recoiled, letting Eli’s arms go. “What? No it isn’t! It’s just a stupid prank, we’re not picking on anyone.”

“Getting people drunk who don’t want to be is mean!” Eli said, “Even if it’s not directed at one person, it’s STILL mean!”

Steve gawked at him, like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “It--It’s just watered down vodka!” he said, “People probably won’t even notice that stuff.”

“If they won’t notice, what’s the fucking point?” Eli said, feeling all his despair turning to anger. Steve gaped at him, not able to respond, “God, why do you even hang out with those guys?”

“What, Brad and Kevin?” Steve said, “They’re my friends!”

“Are they?” Eli asked, “You never saw them over the summer, I know ‘cause you were with me most of that time. You guys only seem to hang out at football or when you’re picking on people.” Eli very generously said ‘people’ and not ‘me.’

“Hey, we’ve gotten a lot better recently,” Steve said, “We’re learning.”

“YOU’RE learning,” Eli said, “Around me, at least. You go right back to being mean and aggressive when they’re around. And they….” he trailed off, not even knowing how to describe Kevin and Brad.

Steve’s brow furrowed. “Eli, have they done something to you when I wasn’t there?”

Eli didn’t know how to answer that either. They respected Steve’s wishes to leave Eli alone, with physical stuff at least. They didn’t stop their snide comments, though, and Eli would always remember being in middle school with them. Steve didn’t know how awful they could get. “Kevin literally just called me a freak in front of you.”

“What?” Steve asked, “No he didn’t!”

“Brad said I was a ‘freak-slayer’ and Kevin said ‘it takes one to slay one.’”

Steve spluttered, “That--that was just messing around,” Steve said. “He was just teasing you, we tease each other all the time.”

“Well his ‘teasing’ feels a lot like ‘bullying,’” Eli said, “And I would know.”

Steve actually flinched, and that made Eli feel both guilty and a bit satisfied at the same time. “We didn’t mean anything,” He said, “I’ll tell them to stop.”

Eli took a deep breath, “Fine,” he said, “And you have to tell Coach Lawrence about the spiked punch.”

“What?” Steve said, “Come on, Eli, it was just a joke!”

“It’s mean!” Eli said, “There are ways to pull pranks without hurting them! And besides that it’s just a jackass move!”

Steve blinked at him, “Did you just call me a jackass?”

Eli swallowed, his sudden burst of confidence starting to fade. “Well, you’re being one right now.”

Steve bit his tongue, turning to lean on the bathroom wall, something Eli would not have done, especially in Steve’s nice outfit. “This is a pretty terrible first date isn’t it?”

Eli blinked, feeling a shock go through his system. “So, this WAS a date…”

Steve looked up, in shock. “Of COuRSE it was a date!” he said, his voice breaking. “I LITERALLY spelled it out in lights and...and I took you out stargazing….and I. I got you flowers!”

“See, I thought that,” Eli said, blushing, “But you hadn’t said it, and like, the flowers were yellow, and I think that means friendship? Or I heard that once, anyway.”

“They do?” Steve said, “Flip!” He sighed and looked off to the side, “I knew I shouldn’t have waited til last minute to buy those.”

Eli bit his lip, stepping forward. “Well, I did WANT it to be a date…” Eli said, rocking himself back and forth, “I mean, that’s why I wasn’t sure, I thought maybe I was just looking to into things or maybe had wishful thinking or something.”

Steve frowned at him. “Stop it,” he said.

Eli tilted his head, “Stop what?”

“Stop being so cute.” Steve said, “I’m in emotional turmoil here.”

Eli couldn’t help but chuckle. He stepped forward, “I’m sorry for yelling at you. And lecturing you. And calling you a jackass….”

Steve sighed, “No, you were right. I am a jackass.”

“Hey,” Eli said, “Look, you really HAVE been being better. I wouldn’t have agreed to what may possibly have been a date if you hadn’t.” He stepped right in front of Steve.

Steve hung his head, “I just….I want to be a good person. I’m trying. I just keep messing up.”

“That’s ok,” Eli said, Steve frowned up at him. “No, really. Look, you were….kinda terrible for a long time.” Steve winced, “But no one’s cursed to be like that. You’re trying to be better, and thats huge. One mistake doesn’t set that back. It’s just a matter of KEEP trying.”

Steve groaned. “It’s hard.”

“Being a good person usually is,” Eli agreed, “But that’s what it means to be a creepslayer.”

Trying to be encouraging, Eli held up his half of the symbol. With a smirk, Steve completed it. “I’m glad I have you around to help me.”

Eli smiled, “Of course.”

They both dropped their hands. “Hey, Eli,” Steve said, “Can I ask you on a date? A real date? Next Friday, maybe?”

Eli nodded, “Yes.”

Steve’s face broke into a grin. “Nice,” Steve got back up and wrapped Eli up in a hug. Eli froze up for a moment, but relaxed, holding Steve close.

Eli smiled to himself, resting on Steve’s chest. Steve rocked him slowly back and forth. “Hey, Steve?” Eli said. Steve hummed in answer, “As romantic as it is standing in the middle of the boys’ bathroom…”

“You wanna head back to the dance?”

“That would be best, yes.”

They seperated and Steve held out his hand. Blushing, Eli took it and let Steve lead him out.

Back in the gymnasium, the dancing had picked up, playing some modern EDM music. Eli enjoyed the snack table while Steve went over to talk with Coach Lawrence, before making his way back. “Well, I’m grounded,” he said, “AND I have Saturday detention, which I think having one person give two different punishments is just too much,” He scowled over to where Coach Lawrence was removing the punch bowl, “But, I get to stay at the dance.”

Eli smiled, “That’s great,” he said, getting Steve a cookie. “I guess we’ll have to push the date back?”

“Oh flip,” Steve said, sighing. “Well...the grounding only lasts until the detention next week. So, why don’t we have the date then? I’ll pick you up after?”

Eli nodded, “Sounds good.”

Steve smiled, reaching down to grab Eli’s hands, pulling him to the outskirts of the crowd. “Wait,” Eli said, pulling back, “Steve I’m really bad at dancing.”

Steve shrugged, “Me too,” he said, “Come on.”

And they were. They were so bad at dancing. If either of them were trying to do it themselves, no doubt they would be embarrassed, but together, they had fun. Eventually, Aja wandered over to them, seeming to be inspired by their erratic movements, which brought over Toby, Darcy, Mary, and Shannon.

They retired back to the tables, laughing together and eating way too many unhealthy foods. Eli could feel some of his classmates stares at them, and worse, saw Steve noticing them, and looking a little self-conscious. He knew the both of them must have seemed like an odd pair. Still, Eli had fun.

The music died down, and people looked up at the stage. “Settle down, students!” Ms. Janeth said, “It is now time to announce the homecoming king and queen. This year’s queen, is…Darcy Scott!” Darcy cheered in her mascot outfit, but more than her, Toby was practically jumping up and down. The both of them ran up to the stage, the crown lowering a crown onto Darcy’s head.

“And this year’s King is….Eli Pepperjack.”

Eli’s eyes went wide as he stared up at the stage, unsure if he could trust his own ears. Heads from all across the gymnasium turned to him, “Come on, Peppers!” Steve said, grabbing his shoulders, “It’s the year of Eli!” He pulled Eli up onto the stage, like a marionette on strings being poorly puppeted.

He then felt like his strings got cut when Steve let him go so Ms. Janeth could put the crown on his head. He turned all around, but in that half second, Steve had disappeared, Toby was there, smiling at him and clapping, as was Darcy. In the crowd he saw Brad and Kevin snickering, and it made him more afraid the longer he didn’t have Steve next to him.

“Steve?” He said softly, “Steve?”

“Right here,” Steve said, appearing at his side, “Just had to talk to Krel.”

“Krel?” Eli asked, confused under the heavy lights. He felt like he was going to fall over as he twirled to the DJ. Krel was going through a playlist, frowning, and picking one.

Familiar synth notes filled the gymnasium, making Eli perk up his head even through his anxiety. “Is this...is this what I think it is?” He asked

One moment later, they were being serenaded by the wonderful voice of Cyndi Lauper. Steve shrugged, “You like 80’s music right?”

Eli blushed. He never thought he would have his first real slow dance to the song ‘Time after Time,’ but he wasn’t sure if he could have picked a better one if he tried. MAYBE ‘Take my breath away’ but he was happy with this.

Steve pulled him in, grabbing his hips. Eli felt embarrassed that he seemed to be doing the ‘girls’ part, but even with a growth spurt, Steve was appreciably taller, so that helped. Across the stage, Darci and Toby were dancing. “So,” Eli said, “I guess this makes you my duke,” he said, as they both awkwardly swayed back and forth. It probably looked so dorky, but in the little bubble of Steve’s arms, Eli didn’t care.

“I’ll take it,” Steve said, swaying with him. “I guess this is me coming out to the school, huh?” He self consciously looked over his shoulder.

“I would tell you it gets better,” Eli said, “But it kinda only JUST did for me, so, I don’t know what’s going to happen now.”

Steve shrugged, “I mean, I kinda knew what I was getting into here,” he said, “I guess all we can do is just...keep dancing?”

Eli smiled and laid his head on Steve’s shoulder, “Sounds good to me.”

[theostry]

TW Script liveblog - Season 1 Episode 1: Wolf Moon

Or, as it is otherwise known:

Teen Wolf Scripts!

Check it out, Wolfiends. This is a loooooong post consisting of screenshots of the Teen Wolf script alongside my own rambling commentary. I'm not here to review the show; finer minds than myself have got that covered. Nor is it a photo-recap; that has been done by crazier bastards than myself. What I am here for is scraping the bottom of the barrel so hard I'm eating splinters, give me that Teenage Lupine content, give me ALL OF THE CONTENT--

*ahem*

Excerpts have been selected based on the following criteria: 1) It did not make the final cut; 2) It substantially altered; 3) It offers extra detail not apparent from the show, such as description and direction; and 4) I felt like including it. 

Fun times (and, obviously, a hell of a lot of spoilers) below the cut.

(What the heckie do these colours mean? We may never know)

So let's get started.

Answering the real questions here: Scott's shirtlessness was script mandated, not just a case of Posey being slightly allergic to clothes. Let's all take a moment to think about Scott's lithe frame and then go to jail reminisce over how it felt when we had no idea what he would come to mean to us. Sigh.

Aaaaand paydirt! Here is a lovely little scene we never saw on screen.

Doesn't really tell us anything we didn't learn soon enough, but any McCall family time is time well spent. And I'm not sorry they deleted the casual clumsiness from Scott's intro, so I can keep my headcanon that he had mad lacrosse skills from all his practising but just couldn't play due to asthma.

A wild Stiles appears!

And it is the perfect intro to his character, easy to see why they didn't change a thing. DOB nailed it. 

Before long, we are introduced to--

-- Wait, hold up, who? Looks like Stiles's dad got a promotion sometime between "Double Buff" and filming. Congrats, John  Michael  Noah!

Seriously, though, consider the extra layer of politics and secrecy that would have been going on if he was just a deputy rather than Sheriff.  What a different show it would have been, especially in later seasons. 

WHY, JEFF DAVIS?  WHY ARE YOU COMMENTING ON THE ‘BEAUTY’ OF A GHASTLY SEVERED CORPSE?  HOW IS THIS WOMAN'S ATTRACTIVENESS OR OTHERWISE RELEVANT TO THE SITUATION?  DID SCOTT PAUSE MID-PANIC TO THINK "WOW SHE IS HOT (ALSO DEAD AND BISECTED)"? /end rant

But now it's time for--

--and that means

Back to school time!

Setting the scene. Californians, is this a fair representation of your high school experience? Asking for research purposes.

Also, petition for girls and girls also to be able to hold hands. Down with the patriarchy.

It's everyone's favourite juice enthusiast! Looks like the Sheriff wasn't the only one who moved up in the world over the course of the script revision process - Jackson only had a BMW here instead of his Porsche.

As with Stiles's intro, we achieve Peak Jackson in his very first scene:

*snort*

And while we're doing intros--

But wait, this is a game changer -- you think you know how it does, right? Breezing past Stiles as if he wasn't even there, completely ignoring him? Well THINK AGAIN!

Yeah I lied.

So this is new - Scott's hearing was going to be much stronger here, perceiving the caller's voice as well from that distance! What secrets shall be revealed from the other half of this conversation?

Huh. Yeah, that contributed nothing, and would have had absurd implications for werewolf hearing. Also would have been a totally banal first glimpse of Victoria Argent, which is just unacceptable. 

Did this happen? I don't recall it. Would have been a cool shot. 

*Curiosity is piqued*

I confuse. Is this an editing fail? Two versions of the scene that got smooshed together? Or does Lydia swoop twice (possible Banshee prefiguring)?

 I like the book-spilling version. It establishes Allison as kind.

But this bit --

-- I do not like. It seems to suggest that there was always something about Allison that helped Scott control his shift, or even suppressed it? Rather than it being his feelings for her that reminded him of his humanity and strengthened his will. Nopity nope.

Now for another intro:

It's Harley! 

Yeah, I didn’t know either. I guess she got shafted for some reason…which is a pity, because the girl has got snark.

SHOTS FIRED.

Meanwhile…is Harley into Scott? Were we going to have a triangle of luuurve? Not sorry we didn't, triangles are an overrated romantical shape (unless they're equilateral ones, but for some reason teen shows are all about the isosceles and I am over it), but Harley could have been an actual character. RIP, girl I could have liked.

Also RIP Harley's heart, because

Thus far we have had character intros that were Peak Stiles, Peak Jackson and Peak Lydia ('s queen bitch façade). Now we have one that is a massive understatement:

Oh, sweet summer children. We ain't seen nothing yet.

Do you sometimes forget how mutually toxic Lydia and Jackson's relationship was? Ugh.

Excellent priorities, Scott. But so far so canon.

A FIGURE

Who's it gonna be, ohmigosh mysterious figure--

Ohmigosh, is it--

*ahem* sorry

Okay I think I'm beginning to understand why we absolutely had to know about the ravishing beauty of corpse-lady:  Jeff Davis is simply incapable of giving a description of anyone without reminding us how attractive they are. HEY EVERYONE!  THIS IS A SHOW FOR HOT PEOPLE!  EYE CANDY OVER HERE!

…waitaminute, back the truck up. 

WhaaAAAAAT?

*thinking forward to skeevy Kate plotline, Hale fire was 6 years ago, runnin' the numbers, doin' the math*

19 minus 6 equals …KATE you EFFING PEDO GET in the BIN RIGHT NOW--

--nah just kidding, they obviously decided to age him up sometime after this edit. Also, as has been observed, Jeff Davis inhabits a world blissfully innocent of such things as calendars.  

Now I hope I have sufficiently distracted my audience with squicks and figures, because I want to sneak this one through without getting crucified.

Okay we're done here, on to--

Really, there's nothing--

One million hardcore Sterek shippers:  *collectively lose their shit*

One innocent liveblogger:  *hides*

All twelve Scerek shippers:  *are validated*

Someone sensible:  It's just one line of direction in a first meeting, it doesn't mean--

One desperate liveblogger:  OKAY, MOVING ON

This is such a great scene -- the terror of all those panicking cats, Scott wanting to calm them but, realising he is the problem, freaks out himself -- and it just got even better, because there's something missing here that we saw on-screen.

While it could have come in a later revision, I choose to believe that singing "hey, kitties!" in greeting was just Tyler Posey's natural instinct upon walking into a room full of feline friends.

But now Allison is here, and Scott has passed off the panic baton to her.

Woooo Scott is getting his wolf on! But he doesn't seem to know it yet. I wonder from whose perspective Scott's calm is supposed to be 'odd', because I wouldn't have expected him to get worked up about an injured dog given his job. And how many wolves has Jeff Davis met? I don't think their eyes typically glow, outside of tapetum lucidum reflections. But what do I know, I'm not a zoologist.

Also -- they were supposed to have an umbrella? Budget cuts are brutal.

Do you ever forget how adorable Scallison were before things got complicated? Can I get an "Awww"?

It's also nice that they gave Allison reasons to be interested in Scott beyond 'he's cute' and 'he noticed me'. She admires him for his competence and gentleness here, she's seen him excelling at sports without being a douche about it, and their first interaction was one of generosity. This is why it's disappointing that they cut the bit where Allison helps a stranger with her books -- it's a pity they didn't show us Scott's reasons for liking Allison beyond 'she's pretty'. A sadly typical imbalance in Hollywood: boys are admirable for what they do, girls for how they look. Thank all the gods and little fishes that Allison subverts the hell out of this trope later on.

Is this or is this not the cutest interaction? It gets better:

Cats are one thing, Scotty, but you gotta think about your choices when dogs are judging you.   

Now who’s being judgemental

'Litigious', Scott? And before the word-a-day calendar regime, too. Insert comment about American litigation culture here.

Scott is definitely talking about the dog not at all about himself why would you say that--

Okay so Scott's having his weird woodsy sleepwalking dream now, and I have to go back and check because -- white? Why are the Alpha's eyes white? Sure enough:

Did they retcon the Alpha red eyes thing after the Pilot/Wolf Moon was shot Even in the earlier scene where Scott was bitten: 

White eyes. What gives, Jeff?

While we're here, let's just take a second to appreciate Peter the Cartoon CGI Gorilla-Wolf. LOL.

Get back to the scripts woman, the photo recap thing has been covered, stay in your lane

AWKWARD. Anyway that's the same as in canon, but I initially read that as 'mysterious smile' and freaked because was that pool owner person supposed to be significant??, but no, never mind, carry on.

Meanwhile, this ep is just FULL of iconic moments.

All together now,

*sighs happily*

Was it as good for you as it was for me?

Later, at the lacrosse scrimmage:

I checked the episode, and…nope. No Derek stalking around on the field in this scene. That we saw.

 Oh good, we hadn't seen a naked torso in a while, I was starting to worry

Who can get enough of Melissa--Scott moments? Not me, that's for sure. But wait--

Voices becoming TINNY what is happening

Someone's  creeping

*sings* ‘Who can it BEEE no-ow?’

*snort*

In other news, Jackson is not the only one who got a vehicular upgrade. I don’t know enough about cars to discern the mystical significance of these changes. Experts please?

Ah, can't believe they cut this! Is he just embarrassed to have an inhaler in front of Allison, or does he realise on some level that his asthmatic days are over? 

Oh yikes, is this another scene of which we were ROBBED? I want my absolute and agonizing awkward teen silence!

ROBBED, I say! Robbed of canon confirmation of Scott's dorky music taste!

Awww.

I liked Scallison well enough, but if these scenes had been included I would have been 200% sold on it from ep 1.

Confused Scydia moment! I wonder if Lydia greeted Stiles like that too, and if so how hard he flailed.

Harley again! In the version that made it to screen she and Stiles both ask Scott if he's okay. That girl should have stayed a character. *grumpy face* 

"Deep black eyes"? "Strangely hypnotic"? Preeeeetty sure he was just standing there with his regular (insanely pretty) ambiguously green-hazel eyes; and while that was a fair attempt at a charming smile (for Derek), "hypnotic" it wasn't.

That would have been a cool visual.

“Powerfully muscular”; “strangely seductive”; “He's given into it” 

I'll tell you who's into it, Jeff Davis is into it And you know what?

So am I.

*Curiosity intensifies*

A nice little moment of realisation we never got to see

This is changed up a bit -- in the show the dialogue comes before the wrestling, there's no throat-gripping (Derek holds Scott down with a hand on his chest), and we have yet to see those shiny blue eyes.

Also, demonic. *shivers* 

That's interesting - obviously was going to be more support to the false lead of Derek being the Alpha, but they walked it back.

A bit of added urgency here

"Steps out of the darkness" -- from what we saw, Derek was just standing there next to Scott, no added drama. Add this to the 'hypnotic deep black eyes' we never saw -- can it be that the creeper-wolf that graced our screens was actually the less spooky version??

I guess they forgot to talk to the sun’s manager about their filming schedule.

Well that answers my question about how Stiles knew where to find Scott. Sort of.

Also: Aaaaaaaangst.

Aww, my heart. The bromance.

I love how it's "instantly recognisable," but in the final cut they can’t help throwing in a flashback to all of three minutes ago just to make sure we recognise him. Thanks for the vote of confidence, Teen Wolf.

Yes, apparently that is Chris Argent's idea of a 'friendly smile'.

Also, sworn enemy. Lol.

Great ending to a great pilot episode! And what extra-delicious and not-at-all mouth-perforating splinters of teeny wolfy goodness does our script-reading scrape up for us?

Well, we have extra delightful domestic scenes with the McCalls; extra adorable baby flirting between our star-crossed lovers (not that they know the heavens hate them yet, shhh); a wonderful character who could have been in Harley (will she show up more in future scripts? At what point did they decide to consign her to the trash can of oblivion? Or did she just disappear because she realised she had no chance with Scott now that Allison is here?); and honestly, it ws worth it for Jackson’s favourite word alone. 

But clearly the most important thing we leaned from the Teen Wolf Pilot script (Double Buff edition) is that the

we know and love is NOT, in fact, the creepiest, most melodramatic, most stalkerish version of himself. He could have been worse. Watching Scott at practice earlier than we knew eavesdropping on him shirtlessly discussing sex with him mum, using strangely hypontic deep black eyes on unsuspecting teenage girls, emerging theatrically from the shadows -- just imagine, if he'd been behaving like that from the get-go, no way would Scott have trusted him. Good job toning it down, Jeff Davis!

Exeunt.

[ladyseaheart1668]

Endless Summer Book 4: Daughter of Vaanu (Chapter 25)

Description: Tahira finally comes home

Tagging: @xo-endlessmayhem-xo ; @princesstopgun ; @mysteli

Chapter 25: A Hero Comes Home

Dax

I don't like not being able to monitor my companions on their mission. But my tech can't exactly reach into other realities, and that makes me feel blind and deaf. Luckily, someone else on our side is less impaired.

“So...they're safe?” I ask uncertainly.

Varyyn nods. “Her voice is faint, but I can still hear Alodia. I think Diego must be helping her. She says that everyone has made it safely.”

“...As long as they make it back safely, too,” Sean murmurs. Varyyn reaches over to put a hand on Sean's shoulder.

“I know it is difficult for you, being separated from the one you love.”

“Are you suggesting that it isn't difficult for you?” Sean asks wryly.

“Not in the least. ...But...I have had more time to prepare for a situation like this.”

“What do you mean?” I ask.

Varyyn gestures ruefully at his arms and legs. “Looking like this, I am usually safe enough from prying eyes just being out and about with Diego. Most people assume I am in costume and they don't pay much attention. But that excuse does not hold up when I am subjected to greater scrutiny. ...I must admit that I've spent a long time worrying about what might happen if Diego were to become ill or injured badly enough to need a hospital. ...Trying to accept the idea that I would not be able to sit beside him...”

“...That's...a horrifying thought...” I mumble around a sudden heaviness in my chest. I reach for Poppy's hand. She takes mine and squeezes it.

“Couldn't you use make-up or something?”

“I have considered that. It is probably my best hope. But not especially practical. It would take time to apply, it risks rubbing off...I would do it to be able to be beside my beloved if he needed me. But it would still mean seeing that someone else could be there immediately if he needed help. It is quite a relief to me to have Alodia back, and to be living under the same roof as she.”

“Yeah,” Raj agrees. “You know if Diego were ever in trouble, she'd keep an eye on him until you could get there.”

“The two of them are close,” Rochelle observes. Varyyn nods.

“Like brother and sister.”

“Closer, really,” Sean says. “They were all each other had for years.”

“They're like soulmates in a non-romantic way,” Zahra adds. “Platonic soulmates.”

“Is that a thing?” Craig asks.

“Anam cara,” Quinn murmurs.

“What's that.”

“It's Irish. I went through a big phase when I was a teenager studying Irish myth, history, and culture. Anyway, the phrase means 'soul friend'. It was an old Irish belief that the soul hovered around the body like a halo, and sometimes when two people met, their souls would flow together and merge. If I remember correctly, the phrase could be used either romatically or platonically...”

“Soul friend...” Varyyn repeats thoughtfully. “I like that term.”

“Very fitting,” Aleister agrees.

Silence settles over us. I look back at my monitors. Not that there's any reason at all for me to look at them. But I hate feeling so helpless.

“Varyyn? Are they still okay?”

Varyyn is quiet for a moment. “Her presence is faint, most likely because she is concentrating on Tahira. But she is still there. And if there were any trouble, she would surely let me know.”

Michelle

Eva eases herself onto the crystal altar, cradling Tahira's head on her lap while Grayson moves anxiously between her and his father.

“Are they all right?” he asks. “Are they hurt?”

“I...don't think so...” I frown, looking them over and finding no obvious signs of injury. “But if they were just sleeping, they would have woken up by now.”

“They are sleeping,” Alodia murmurs. “They're dreaming between realities. I think...they're being preserved...”

“Preserved for what?” Eva asks warily. Alodia shakes her head.

“Not for any particular purpose. I think Tahira's parents are...protecting them. Holding them in stasis like Rourke was. Like the guests at The Celestial.”

“That...would make sense,” I concede slowly. “This planet is basically dead. No sources of food, no water...this might be the only way either Tahira or Prescott could have survived this long.”

“So...how do we wake them up?”

“Leave that to me,” Alodia replies. She sits down on the edge of the altar where Tahira sleeps and stretches out a hand to touch her cousin's forehead.

“You gonna try mind-talking?” Jake asks, raising an eyebrow.

“I'm still anlashokk. There's no reason I shouldn't be able to reach her.”

Tahira

The fuschia-tinted world around me comes with a sense of deja-vu. I was disoriented at first, but now I'm almost certain I know where I am. It's the crystals rising out of the landscape that make it click, reminding me of how Mom described the matter that had come through the Prism Gate before me. Prism-based matter.

“I...don't think we're on Earth,” I murmur.

“Agreed,” Marci chirps in my ear. “My global-positioning system doesn't recognize this place. Actually, it can't detect any satellites in range at all. And I have a fairly wide range. Tahira, I think something may be wrong with my vital scan function.”

“Your what?”

“I have a function that monitors your vital signs. Heartrate, sinus rhythm, brain waves, that sort of thing. But something appears to be amiss, because I just woke you up, but according to my brainwave scan, you're still asleep.”

I sigh. “Right now, Marci, I think that's the least of our concerns.”

“What concerns would you place at highest priority?”

“Well, for starters, figuring out where we are. ...I think I have a guess there.”

“Do enlighten me, please.”

“I think...this is the dimension where I was born.”

“Oh, wonderful! ...What does that mean?”

“I don't know exactly. ...You heard what Silas Prescott said, right? Right before we...were consumed?”

“Don't you see, Tahira?” Silas Prescott's own voice sounds in my ear, tinny and distorted, muffled by the rush of air around him. “You're the key to all of this. The Prism Gate's energy wasn't strong enough to send me through to the other side, but with my Liquid Prism and your innate power, we can rip a hole in the very fabric of reality!”

I feel my face slacken with surprise. “Marci, were...were you recording him?”

“I felt it might be useful to be able to reference his words later.”

“But as far as we both knew, we were about to die!”

“Dax didn't program me to capitulate. As long as I am functional, I am programmed to assume I will be indefinitely functional. Therefore, even when death appears imminent, I assume that I will survive.”

I can't help grinning. “You clever, clever girl.”

“Thank you, Tahira,” Marci replies with what I swear is pride in her voice. “But Dax should at least have some credit for designing me this way.”

I feel my smile slipping. “I'll make sure he knows. ...If I ever see him again...”

Just for a moment, I let myself feel afraid, acknowledge the rising tide of panic in my gut. I let it bubble up my chest, into my throat, and then I breathe it out. I'm scared. I acknowledge that I'm scared. But I am not going to let it master me.

“Okay...so...we at least have some idea where we are. I think the next steps are first figuring out what happened to Prescott, and then...figuring out a way out of here.”

“I can help with both of those.”

The voice is new, an unfamiliar mezzo that sounds behind me. I whip around, hoping to cover the spasm of surprise that shoots through my musculature. A young woman is standing behind me, a lithe, pretty blonde with clear blue eyes, dressed in armor that gleams amber under the purple-pink moonlight. She spreads both her hands, showing her empty palms as she approaches me carefully.

“It's okay, Tahira. I'm here to help.”

I scowl, striking a defensive pose. “Who are you and how do you know my name?”

She stops moving toward me, keeping her hands up and her eyes on my face. “My name is Alodia. I'm your cousin.”

“My...what?”

“Your cousin. I'm the daughter of your father's brother. Your biological father.”

I let my stance relax just slightly. “...You look human.”

Her lips quirk upwards with amusement as she looks me up and down. “So do you. And unlike you, I'm actually half-human.”

“...What's...the other half? What...what am I?”

She frowns a little, her hands dropping slowly to her sides. “That's...a little difficult to explain. I don't actually know the name of their—our���race. I don't think there are many left, except in spirit. ...I don't know exactly what kind of physical form they took, either. ...Honestly, I know very little about where our parents came from.” She shifts awkwardly. “Listen...I think detailed explanations might be better over a hot cup of something at home, not here.”

“...Home?”

“On Earth.” She hazards another step in my direction. “Where we belong. ...Tahira, you and I have fought very hard for that world. We have families there. Besides...we can't survive on this dead world for long. The only reason you've survived here as long as you have is because your parents put you in stasis.”

“My...my parents?” I feel my heart lurch as another implication of her words sinks in. “How long have I been here?”

“About ten weeks have passed on Earth.”

“Ten! But...I only just woke up here twenty minutes ago! ...Didn't I?”

“By my calculations, you came around eighteen minutes and thirty-four seconds ago,” Marci clarifies.

“You're not actually awake, though. You're...sort of dreaming.”

“But what about Marci? Marci's an AI. AI's don't dream.”

“Well...probably not. But, she may be connected to your mind somehow, based on the fact that I can hear her, too.”

“That might explain your unusual brainwaves,” Marci concedes.

I let my fighting stance drop entirely. ...I trust this woman. Strange as it may seem, I believe her. I believe every word. Still, something in me is hesitating. She sighs.

“Look...I know it sucks.”

“What sucks?”

“To be told you have to go back to Earth just when you recognize where you are. Just when you've landed on the world where you were born. ...I can introduce you to your parents, but you won't really have time to get to know them.”

Ahh. So that's where the hesitation came from. I had never really worried about my birth parents before. Not until Mom told me the truth about where I'd come from...

“Oh, god...” I feel sickness roiling through my midsection. Mom...I never forgave her...I didn't tell her before I left that I love her... And I've been gone for ten weeks... “I...I have to go home. Mom...”

“She's waiting for you. She knows you're alive. She's waiting for me to bring you home.”

I nod, feeling tears in my eyes. “Take me home then. Take me to my mom.”

She holds out a hand. “Take my hand and close your eyes. Then open them again, and wake up.”

“...It's just that simple?”

“You've got me guiding you. Just keep your hand in mine, and don't let it slip away. Keep hold of it as you open your eyes.”

I nod slowly, taking the offered hand. The moment I close my eyes, I start to feel her hand becoming less solid. I tighten my grip, willing myself to keep ahold of her, to fade as she fades so that neither of us will fade entirely. My head starts to swim, and I'm suddenly glad I have my eyes closed. I feel myself floating. Falling. Tilting backwards. It's a dizzy, weightless sort of feeling, nut still oddly terrifying, like falling in a dream. Except instead of an impact that goes through me like a lightning bolt, I simply find myself suddenly supine, feeling a little bit chilly. I flex my feet experimentally, but I don't let go of the hand in mine. And that's when I feel the pressure on my other hand.

“...Tahira?”

This voice is familiar. I gasp, my eyes flying open before I can stop them. Grayson Prescott is leaning over me, holding my free hand. And he's not the only familiar face.

“...Grayson...? ...Eva?” They smile down at me.

“Welcome back, hero,” Eva quips.

“Are you all right?” Grayson asks anxiously.

“I think so...” I sit up carefully glancing at the familiar and unfamiliar faces around me. “A little groggy. ...Wh-what are you doing here, Grayson? How did you...?”

“I know. I'm not supposed to know that you're Dragonness. ...Your mom told me though, when she learned that there was a way to bring you back.”

“Mom knows, too...?”

“She apparently figured it out a long time ago.”

My heart stirs with affection made strangely heavy with sorrow. “...Of course she did. How could she not have.”

“She would have come with us,” Eva says, “and Kenji and Poppy and Dax. But there were limited doses of the stuff that got us through the Gate, and the Catalysts claimed six doses for themselves.”

“...What's a Catalyst?” I ask lamely. It may be a logical question, but asking it makes me feel like I'm missing something obvious.

“I'm a Catalyst,” Alodia replies. “So are Jake, Diego, Michelle, and Estela.” She points to each figure as she names them. “There are twelve of us all together. You'll meet the others later.”

There is one figure she didn't name, a young man with an eyepatch. I nod to him. “And...who is this?”

“I'm Mike.” He smiles, holding out a hand for me to shake. “I'm not a Catalyst, just an associate of them.”

“And...behind you...” Alodia touches my shoulder gently, capturing my gaze when I turn toward her. She nods significantly over my shoulder. I turn to look and find two faceless ghostly figures standing behind me, one male and one female. Their voices come like a song that echoes in my mind and makes tears spring to my eyes.

“Daughter...”

“...Mom...” I choke on the word. “...Dad...”

“Chyyaus and Vaelphis,” Alodia clarifies softly. “...Your biological parents. My aunt and uncle.”

I swallow hard as my birth mother holds out her hand to me. I can't help but reach back. Almost to my surprise, her hand is solid to the touch, cool and soft.

“Oh god...” My voice is thick, cracking with unshed tears. “There's so much I want to say to you both...so many questions.”

“We know. But...perhaps it would be best if we let your cousin answer them.”

“I may not have all the answers she's looking for,” Alodia protests. “I don't understand everything myself...”

“You know more than you think,” my father replies. “And what you don't know, you will learn on your own when you are meant to learn it.”

Alodia snorts ruefully. “Hoo boy, does that sound familiar.”

“The Endless had her faults, of course.” My father sounds a little amused. A little indulgent. “But she was still...one of us.”

“...Tahira...” Grayson's voice is uncharacteristically small and meek as he interrupts our conversation. “...What are we going to do about my dad?”

For the first time, I glance over and see Silas Prescott stretched out on a crystal altar, just like the one I've just awakened on. He isn't moving, save for the gentle rise and fall of his chest. I swallow hard, shuddering as I remember the moment before the portal tore open, the madness in him, the frightening implications of his words.

“I...don't think it would be right to leave him behind here. But...” I trail off, hesitating a moment before I look over at my cousin. “Alodia, can you...find him? The way you found me?”

“I could try...”

“We...should be prepared for a battle when he comes around. Given his goal, he isn't likely to give up and come quietly...”

“What goal?” Grayson asks softly.

Before I can answer, my mother speaks up. “There is no need to wake him here. He is not in the same state that Tahira was. ...I fear his condition is beyond our help. He has poisoned himself with that wretched liquid.” “But isn't that exactly the sort of thing we should be able to help with?” Alodia protests.

“You can certainly help,” my mother agrees. “...I am sure you recall the night you rejoined your father.”

“Of course. That isn't exactly something that's easily forgotten.”

“What poisons Silas Prescott's body is made from your energy, as you were made from your father's. Take it back, as your father took you back. ...It...will not save him on its own. We have managed to hold his body in stasis, but much of it has been damaged internally. He will need to be healed by humans.”

“Tahira, what are they saying?” Grayson asks anxiously. “I...I can't understand what your parents are saying...”

I find his hand, taking it in both my own. “...It's the Liquid Prism. It's...poisoned him. Alodia can help draw it out of him...I think...but then we have to get him home to get him treated by doctors.”

“That one's a doctor,” Diego remarks, jerking his head at Michelle. “And she has more experience with time crystals than any other doctor in Northbridge.”

“I'm still just a resident,” Michelle cautions. “And I won't know the extent of the damage until I can at least get him to Iris.”

“We should get you all back to the portal before Alodia attempts to draw the toxins out. We can preserve him in stasis until then.”

I relay my father's suggestion to the others.

“How are we going to move him?” Diego wonders. “Not to mention the chest...”

“What chest?” I ask.

“A little treasure chest Alodia's dad left her,” Eva explains, nodding at the half-buried trunk a few yards away. “And as to carrying either Prescott or the trunk, I think you're forgetting that we have Dragonness to help us with that.”

“I'll carry Mr. Prescott,” I say. “Probably better to be careful with him. We don't know how much damage has been done.” I stand carefully as Grayson drifts towards his father's still form. Eva takes my arm. I accept the offered support without questioning it, until she leans in to whisper in my ear.

“Tahira, I know you and Grayson are together, but given everything, are you sure we should bring his father back with us?” She has the common decency to keep her voice low enough that Grayson can't hear, but I can't help scowling at her.

“We probably won't get another chance to save him. Are you really willing to leave him to die alone on an alien planet?”

She raises an eyebrow at me. “Do you really think so highly of me that you expect the good girl answer?”

I meet her gaze steadily. “If you are truly willing to leave Silas Prescott behind, go tell Grayson yourself.”

She purses her lips, rolling her eyes, but not before I see the flicker of alarm across her face. She doesn't answer. It's my turn to raise an eyebrow, which makes her sigh with irritation.

“Oh, stop smirking, hero,” she mutters, shoving me lightly. “Go grab the supervillain, then.”

I join Grayson at his father's side. He helps me get him into position, and then I easily hoist Silas Prescott onto my back. Estela goes to grab one handle of the trunk.

“Someone want to give me a hand here?” she calls. Alodia takes a step in Estela's direction, but Michelle grabs her arm.

“No way, Alodia. No heavy lifting in your condition.” I open my mouth to ask, but then Alodia puts a hand on her abdomen, and I don't need to. There's a small swell in her belly that I hadn't noticed before. And strangely enough, her gleaming armor seems to have been molded for it.

“I gotcha,” Mike offers, and moves to take the other end of the trunk.

For awhile, we proceed in silence, following my parents. Eventually I can't help speaking to them again.

“Mom...Dad...I almost don't want to ask, but...do you think I'll ever see you again?”

“It's nearly impossible to know what the future holds, daughter,” my father answers heavily. “I like to hope that we will.”

“A part of me wants to stay. To not go back yet.”

“It warms me to hear you say so. But this place is not your home. Not anymore. You girls have fought hard for the earth. It is where you both belong, not here on this dead world. That is why we sent you through the Gate. So that you might survive.”

I am quiet as the implications sink in. Survive...a dead world...  

“There,” Alodia says, pointing to a shimmering pink orb of energy ahead of us. “There's the rift.”

My mother nods. “You must draw the toxin out of him now, Alodia. It will not harm you or your child. Take the energy back into yourself.”

“I understand.” She stretches out a hand toward the man on my back, laying her fingertips to his temple, and closes her eyes. There is silence for a long moment. Alodia breathes deliberately slow, as if she is trying to keep herself calm, or breathe through something painful. I can't turn my head far enough to make out her expression, so I'm not sure if she's anxious or in pain. After a few minutes, she steps back, letting her hand fall.

“Okay. I think that did it.”

“Then you must hurry back through the Gate,” my father says. “...All that is left for us is to tell you that we love you, daughter. And you, niece. We are so proud of you both. And we hope with everything that remains in us that we will meet again.”

I nod slowly. “...Goodbye, Mom and Dad. ...Thank you. For giving me to Rochelle. You didn't just save my life and give me the chance to grow up. You gave me to someone who loves me with every breath in her body. She was there for me through thick and thin, and I have been so fortunate to have her for my mother...” I trail off. I meant to reassure them that I've been happy and cared for, but somehow it feels callous if my last words to my birth parents end up being in praise of my adoptive mother. “...Even if we can't be together, I know you've both been looking out for me since the day I was born. You gave me to Rochelle when you couldn't care for me yourselves. You found me through the Prism Gate when I couldn't escape Prescott alone. And you've helped my cousin find me and bring me home. I'll never doubt that you love me. Or that I love you both.”

They both drift forward to embrace me. Their transluscent forms are cool to the touch, but there is warmth in the gesture that eases the chill.

“There is no more time for hesitation,” my mother says gently. “We must let you both go now.”

“Come on,” Alodia calls, addressing the whole group. “Everyone together. Let's go home.”

I reluctantly pull away from my parents. Then, before I can change my mind, I press in with the others and rush through the Gate.

The journey home to Northbridge is much like the one that brought me to my birthplace: a quick, disorienting whirlwind of weightlessness and bright light. I find myself inside the clocktower. Then, I am swarmed by bodies and voices. Several pairs of hands take Silas Prescott off my back as Poppy throws her arms around me.

“Tahira! Oh my god! Thank goodness you're safe!”  

“Iris! I need a medical scan on him, and one on Alodia.”

“I'm fine, Michelle.”

“I'm not going to believe that until I hear it from Iris.”

“Woah! Alodia, where did you find your armor?!”

“The armor isn't the only thing we found.”

Then, amongst the voices, one makes itself heard above the others.

“Tahira...?” My mother's voice trembles with emotion. “My baby girl...is it really you...?”

“Mom...” I squirm out of Poppy's embrace, push past Kenji and Dax, and throw myself into my mother's waiting arms. I become aware of the knot of tears that has been slowly tightening in my chest since I came awake on the crystal altar. In Rochelle Rogers' arms, my head pressed into my mother's chest, breathing in the familiar scent of the woman who raised me, the knot dissolves, and I soak her shirt with my tears. Not that she notices.

“Oh, baby...sweetie...my baby girl...”

“Mom...” I whimper. Somehow, that little word doesn't feel like enough right now. I don't even care who can hear me. “...Mommy...mommy, I'm so sorry...”

“No, sweetie, no...you don't need to be sorry. I just...I never thought I would see you again....and here you are! Here you are in my arms, my baby...”

“Tahira...” Grayson's voice makes me look up. His face is pale. He looks as helpless and frightened as a little boy. “...My dad...I...I have to take him to a hospital...”

Reality asserts itself over me once more. Silas Prescott needs a doctor's care. But what's going to happen when he suddenly shows up at the hospital after ten weeks missing? He's almost certainly a wanted man after nearly destroying Northbridge. I have no doubt people were killed in his rampage.

“...I should be the one to take him,” I declare reluctantly. “We disappeared together. It will be easier if I just offer an explanation as to where we've been.”

“Ahh...about that...” Jake pipes up nervously. “When you explain where you've been and how you got back, could you leave us and Alodia out of it? We can explain everything later, but for now, suffice to say that we need to keep her under the radar of a certain dangerous someone...”

“That's all the explanation I need for now.” I step away from my mother to put on my mask and gather Prescott's unconscious body into my arms again. I step out onto the balcony and prepare to take flight.

“Wait!” My mother's voice makes me turn back. “When you've done that. When you've taken Silas to the hospital...will you come home? Will you come home to me?”

It's all I can do not to burst into tears again. I offer her a watery smile. “Always, Mom. Always.”

I turn back and look down at the city I was ready to die to protect. I step off the balcony and into the arms of the sky, letting the air support me as I take off again, a single thought running through my head on a loop: I'm home.