#hot girl michael is so beloved to me

[akaikali]

if i don't give y'all more hot girl summer Michael Shelley OR it girl Michael Shelley at some point then assume I am dead in a grave

[ellatoone7]

❄︎ Pretty lights ❄︎

(Alexia’s favourite girls series)

You and Alexia go to see the lights

Christmas time was always your favourite time of year. The pretty lights and decorations and just the wholesome feeling you would get during the holidays always made you feel at peace.

You honestly didn’t think you could love it more but the universe always has ways of surprising people. The warm hand that was placed gently on your thigh was proof of that.

Michael Buble was playing quietly on the radio as you sat in the most comfortable silence, throwing your favourite person and adoring glance every now and then. The gentle hum of her low voice buzzed in your ear as she sang along with the radio.

Taken by the absolute warmth of this scene, your hand grazed tenderly over her tanned arm, slowly making its ways down to where her hand was resting. Your fingers danced with hers for a minute before she opened her palm invitingly, welcoming your hand eagerly.

Alexia lifted your joined hands up to her lips, where she placed a delicate kiss to the back of your hand. You couldn’t help but let the red flush taint your cheeks as you stare at your conjoined hands resting on the console.

It still baffles you after all these years dating that she can still make you flustered. Alexia knows it too as she sends you a cheeky, not-so-discreet smirk. You let the peaceful silence consume you as you occupy yourself by looking out the window.

Barcelona was quite the city to see any day of the year, but something about the city at christmas time had captured your heart. (Or maybe it was the woman sitting beside you.)

Snow had fallen last night leaving the beautiful city covered in a dazzling white. A few snowflakes had started to fall since you had left your home but that didn’t bother you, in fact you encouraged it having not been used to snow from where you grew up.

The heating in the car did remind you that it was below minus degrees outside and you were almost there. You searched for your gloves and hat, preparing yourself for the first bitter shock when you got out of the car.

“Did we bring hats?” Alexia turned down the radio a tad so she could focus on your question. “Sí, I put them in the back seat.” You smiled softly at her memory because you would have completely forgotten them.

The closer you got the more excited you began to get. You and Alexia have had this long lasting tradition (more like competition) to go see which neighbourhood had the best christmas lights.

Alexia was one hundred percent positive that she had found the best lights ever, bragging all day about how she was going to win. You had complained that it was an unfair advantage as she had lived here her whole life and you hadn’t.

It was currently 11 o’clock, the digital lights in Alexia’s cupra wouldn’t let you forget as she drove you further into the heart of barcelona. Alexia pulled into this cute little car park, you bit your lip at the vein protruding from her massive hand that was on the wheel as she reversed into a spot.

You threw her a confused glance as she unbuckled her seatbelt and hopped out of her beloved car. You knew better than to open the door instead letting her do it to prevent the pout that would inevitably invade her face.

Sure enough she appeared at your door with an adorable grin, obviously happy at the thought of doing anything helpful for you. Ever the gentlewoman, Alexia offered her hand which you gladly accepted as she gracefully helped you out of the car.

“Gracias.” You thanked in her mother tongue before planting a kiss to her awaiting lips. The midfielder locked her car as she led you to this cute looking cafe that you had never seen before.

“Is this new?” You asked her as she fixed the hat on her head. “Opened two months ago. Mapi found it and told me it had the ‘greatest hot chocolate she has ever had.”

You laughed contagiously at your wife’s impression of her best friend. “Ahhh, so we are going here just so you can prove Maria wrong.” You teased bumping your shoulder to hers. “You get me.” Alexia sighed wistfully as she wrapped a strong arm around your shoulder, effectively bringing you into her warmth as she kissed the crown of your head.

The cafe wasn’t overly busy but it did have a nice buzz which Alexia had obviously noticed by the way her eyebrows raised in surprise that her best friend might have given her a decent recommendation. She was still scarred from the time Mapi gave her food poisoning after reassuring her that it would be the best thing she would ever taste.

Alexia pushed the door open and it held it for you with her usual charming smirk that always made your knees go weak. “After you hermosa.” Her accent purred as she beckoned you through. Alexia held the door for a few other people with a polite smile before resting her arm back around your shoulder.

You cupped her flushed cheek, pressing a quick kiss to her nose as you lined up for your order. Since Alexia was on her holidays, she could finally treat herself which is why her eyes immediately zoned in on the selection of cookies.

You followed her longing gaze, giggling sweetly at how excited she looked at the thought of finally having some sugar. “Do we want sugar cookies or chocolate chip?” She mumbled as she tried to make up her mind, leg tapping impatiently while she waited for the guy in front of you to finish ordering.

“Bebita which one?” She inquired, eyes not leaving the array of sweets for too long. “We can get both. One of each.” Alexia’s hazel orbs lit up at the genius suggestion and she licked her lips unknowingly, yet another gesture that pulled a giggle from you.

After what felt like years for Alexia, the man in front finished up and it was her turn to order. You let Alecia order, although you were fluent in Spanish you adored hearing how she spoke it, often encouraging her to stop speaking english which she refused, how else was she meant to converse with your dad about his terrible choice in teams.

The barista sent Alexia a shy smile but Alexia’s focus was solely on the cookies that were sitting on the counter. Although she must not have missed it as she placed her left hand right in the poor girl's eyeline. You couldn’t help but smile in amusement as her wedding ring glistened under the bright lights.

Alexia would do just about anything to show you off claiming that she felt selfish keeping you all to herself. The barista's smile dropped a fraction when she caught sight of the piece of jewellery but she managed to throw you a tight smile anyway.

After Alexia had shoved your hand with your card in it away and tapped her card, she took your hand and led you to where the other people were waiting. Alexia pulled one of the stools out from a table and offered it to you. After you politely declined she hopped up instead, needy hands immediately finding your waist.

You now stood in between her long legs, hands coming up to fiddle with the collar of her Barcelona jacket. Her ring clad thumb tapped against your hips as she skated for your order. You didn’t fail to notice how she didn’t once take her caramel eyes off of you, orbs flitting over every feature of your face that she had already memorised more than a million times.

“Pretty.” Your wife whispered, “So pretty.” Her cheeky grin was back as she watched the blush rise on your cheeks. You shook your head in amusement before bringing your hands to interlock behind her neck. You rewarded her with a feathery kiss, twirling her baby hairs in between your fingers as she sighed happily against your lips.

A large hand slid into the back pocket of your jeans as Alexia pulled you closer. Her other hand squeezed your waist encouragingly as she nipped at your bottom lip hoping to be let in.

You pulled back a fraction just to catch your breath but your wife didn’t like that as her hand slid up to cup your jaw, tenderly angling it back towards her awaiting mouth.

“Alexia!”

It was as if you weren’t even there. The minute the barista called her name your wife had nearly thrown you off of her as she raced up to her order. You grumbled as you followed her, annoyed at the interruption.

With a soft ‘gracias’ and nothing else, she was out the door, unwrapping her cookie and scoffing it. You decided to see if she would notice that you weren’t even with her by staying inside the cafe. It took Alexia an embarrassing amount of time to realise that you were in fact not attached to her.

You had to suppress your giggle as your wife frantically began to look around for you, mouth still full. Alexia, much to her relief, finally spotted you, shoulders sagging as she made her way back to you. You met her half way, feeling slightly guilty but much too amused to not laugh.

“Where did you go?” Alexia asked around her mouthful as her hand rested on your lower back. “You left me there.” You pouted playfully. Alexias eyes widened at your pout, quickly kissing it in hopes that it would disappear, “Lo siento cariño. I was just excited to eat my cookie.” You couldn’t hold back your laugh as you thumbed a few crumbs off of her chin, “I’m playing with you baby.”

Alexia huffed amusedly, “That’s your cookie gone.” You slapped her shoulder softly before leaning in to place a languid kiss to her lips. A soft smile dances across her face as she pecks your cheek a few times.

Without a word Alexia handed you your hot drink along with a piece of the half gone chocolate chip cookie. “Come on bebita, we have lights to see.” Your wife checked your hip before racing off towards her car.

You chuckled as she ushered you into her cupra, still holding the door. As she drove you closer to your destination, you took it as your duty to break off a piece of cookie and feed it to your wife.

Alexia laughed loudly as you waved it in front of her face. She took the piece gratefully and playfully bit at your hand which made you giggle. “Mi amor stop eating it all.”

You scoffed loudly before eating even more, “I’ve had one piece Alé.” Alexia whined as you put another piece of ‘her’ cookie. “You are buying a new jar of nutella when we get home.” Alexia grumbled as you licked at your thumb. “I already have two more jars at home babe.” You break the news to her knowing that if she knew that she would have eaten both.

“We agreed! We agreed that you wouldn’t have it in the house during the season.” Alexia argued, absolutely gobsmacked at the thought of you eating nutella in her house without her.

“Just because you have to suffer doesn’t mean I have to.” You sing out as you finish your hot chocolate with an appreciative hum. “I see how it is.” You knew your wife wasn’t mad with how her eyes sparkled when she looked over at you.

Once the car was safely stopped at a red light, Alexia couldn’t stop herself but to lean over and cup you face, pulling you into a searing kiss. “Te amo mucho mi amor.”

You smiled, softly stroking her strong jaw, forehead to forehead. “Even when I eat your cookie.” Alexia hummed affectionalty, placing another tender kiss to your soft lips, “Sí, even when you eat my cookie.”

The rest of the drive was filled with laughter as Alexia told you about her catching Jana and her girlfriend making out in the storage closet just after a tough training session.

“Okay, you ready?” Alexia asked as she slowed down, nearing the neighbourhood. You nodded, giving her a soft smile when she tucks a strand of hair behind your ear.

You gasped when you first saw the lights. Alexia knew she won, you knew she won, but god was it deserved. The whole neighbourhood was lit up in an array of colourful lights, basking you and Alexia in the prettiest glow.

“Alé, this is so beautiful.” You exhaled as your eyes were glued to a particularly pretty set of lights. “Not as beautiful as you bebita.” You hadn’t even realised Alexia had stopped the car until soft kisses were being pressed against your neck.

Your hand reached back slightly to cup the back of her neck as she left a teasing bite, soothing it with a lick. Her kisses trailed up to your cheek causing you to turn your head but instead of letting her kiss you, you pinched her chin between your fingers.

“I love you more than anything in this world Alexia Putellas.” Alexia’s breath was knocked from her lungs at the sincerity of your voice, “Por favor, let me kiss you.”

And you did.

Over and over again.

[bbokicidal]

Slashers - OT8 [SKZ]

Disclaimers : Just a small post I thought would be fun to make. Also - this is all just for GOOD FUN for the month of October and spooky season. These killers are nasty and awful and we all know that - I am in no way saying the Stray Kids members are represented by these slashers (who are fictional characters remember) and I do not mean to say 'they're exactly like these awful people.' because that's just dumb. Don't go thinking that now. C'mon. Common sense.

Warnings : None really, just horror movie slashers included

If you want a part two of the members as other horror movie characters (maybe finals girls/guys or more recent characters?) lmk!

Bangchan : Michael Myers [Halloween]

Honestly mostly just picked this because of his physique and the way I am so wildly attracted to both of them. But I also just think Chan's got that Lowkey scary dad stance down. Also the way he stands back to watch others. Yes, I know it's lovey dovey towards the group but imagine him as Michael just stalking the others?????? (Why's it kinda hot,,,)

He'd spent months planning his first attack. Hours standing, staring, figuring out the habits and movements of his younger friends until he had all of their mannerisms in his head - memorized like the veins in the back of his hand. He knew who was the weakest link. Who he shouldn't target. Who would be easy to mark off the list. Jisung just had back luck being the first name he put down on his notepad.

Chan as Michael Myers, my beloved.

Lee Know : Billy 'Ghostface' Loomis [Scream]

The actually scary one who's full of determination and purpose. The one who actually gets the job done. The one who does it and does it well. Also, wildly sexy. So. I think Minho fits Billy Loomis best because he can be cunning, secretive, but also charming and wild at the same time. We love him.

Minho wasn't stupid - not like his accomplice. He let Jisung distract people - be the life of the party while he himself lured Felix out to the garage to get a beer or two. He dismissed himself, saying he forgot something in the house, before coming back only to find Felix frightened at first sight and scrambling to escape the outer part of the home. And he felt little remorse as he watched Felix try to squirm out through the doggy door - his thumb clicking the switch to make the garage door slowly raise.

Minho as Billy Loomis, hehe.

Changbin : Pyramid Head [Silent Hill]

Not a 'classic slasher' because he's not the main villain of the story but EASILY the best pic for Changbin because WHEWIE those arms. Also?? Changbin dragging around a giant knife and just picking people up by their necks? Good GAWD. Pyramid Head Binnie (shirtless,, Binnie,,,,,) is a need for me.

He was just there - existing. Wandering. Dragging his knife around until the ground cracked and broke under the weight as he walked. He was just... there. Until someone appeared - a pretty boy with long brunette hair that fought for his life in this hellhole of a place. Someone for him to wander after. Someone for him to target.

Changbin as Pyramid Head <3

Hyunjin : Chucky [Chucky]

Honestly mainly just picked this one because 1) Hyunjin as a doll would be wild lol, and 2) Hyunjin who looks so cute and precious and like a normal man at first but ends up being a wild fucking mass murderer?? That would be,, actually so fitting because he's such a cutie at first and then gets on stage and it's like WHOHOAH--

Finding his soul trapped in the body of a doll was the last thing he wanted to happen after his death - but Hyunjin found that this doll was a lot more flexible than he expected. He could curl his fingers, move his eyes, talk even. It was just like his body before - only harder to break, and a lot... smaller.

Anyway, Hyunjin as Chucky. Also red hair Hyunjin supremacy, I said what I said.

Han : Stu "Ghostface" Macher [Scream]

The silly one that keeps messing up. The one who works hard but still somehow fumbles it. The one that needs help. The one who really got roped into it just because he's massively gay for his best friend.

After botching another murder and making a pact with his friend to frame the girl for their killings, Jisung dug the blade into his friend before Minho did the same. He clutched his stomach and fell to the counter, only moving to grip the phone as it rang just beside his head. He sobbed out another gasp that his parents would be so disappointed in him - another babble from Jisung that Minho didn't have time to deal with.

Jisung as Stu Macher, aka the gay icon of the scream series, everyone.

Felix : Tiffany Valentine [Chucky]

Definitely did not pick this bc of his hair. (oops) Anyway. Just there for the shits n giggles, does it for the person he loves and adores so dearly. Didn't even initially mean to be a part of it but got pulled into it somehow anyway lol. Also an absolute baddie.

How'd he get here? He wasn't too sure. What he did know was that he was glued to his best friend for the rest of his life now, trapped in the small but definitely not fragile bodies of dolls for eternity. He was happy to be there, if he was honest, just enjoying being everlasting with someone he adored. Even if he was put into the body of a ... woman? Well. Doll-Woman.

Felix as Tiffany Valentine. ~

Seungmin : Jason Voorhees [Friday The 13th]

Seungmin as a reoccurring character who experienced nothing but tragedy in his past and now comes back to his place of 'death' every year to haunt people who get so much as a fucking mile from him. LOOOOVE this idea. Love the image of Seungmin just hovering around a Summer Camp and lurking like a little creeper. Also Seungmin with a machete is too much for me, cannot. I gotta go.

Seungmin enjoyed lurking around the camp if he was honest. He found himself feeling joy in watching the camp-goers wander around so clueless as to the tragedy that occurred in the waters they swam in, playing and having too much for his liking. No - He didn't feel joy in watching them have fun. He felt joy in hearing their screams the following night when he made them aware of his presence; when he showed them the truth that lay in the grounds of that poor Summer Camp.

Seungmin as Jason Voorhees. ;))

I.N : Pennywise [IT]

Not a classic slasher yet again BUT one of the best in my personal opinion. (It's one of my fav horror movies so.) I think Jeongin fits Pennywise because of his teasing nature, the way he finds it funny when he irks his hyungs, etc. I also think he has a relatively short -- temper? Temper might not be the right word. Maybe patience is right. He's impatient and if he doesn't get what he wants, he'll snap. Also the idea of shapeshifter Jeongin?? Torturing people by showing up as their literal living nightmares? Yum yum yum.

Jeongin was hungry. Starved, even. Twenty seven years after falling into a slumber, he'd awoke under a quaint town that offered up so many delicious meal options - which included a very pretty man more muscular than the others - who, conveniently, was a bit of a scaredy cat.

Jeongin as Pennywise !!

-

Taglist : @dwaekkicidal @jabmastersurpriseee @possum-playground @thatonedarkskinnedsiren

[hotvintagepoll]

Propaganda

Michael Redgrave (The Lady Vanishes)—my beautiful bisexual hot linguist geek dandy nerd. I'm specifically nominating him for "The Lady Vanishes," but how can you not love him in this—it's a strikingly modern performance, not a whiff of old school macho masculinity; he starts the movie as a bit of a cad, thoughtless and self-absorbed, but the second our heroine's in trouble he's attentive, he's helpful, he's running around speaking languages and helping her with international spycraft shenanigans and just being so funny and warm and JOYOUS. (and again. he is SO bisexual. see the picture [attached below]). he's hot in the debate club twink kinda way and i've never wanted to smooch an idiot more

Cary Grant (The Philadelphia Story, His Girl Friday, Bringing Up Baby, Charade)—My Golden Age of Hollywood professor, who was very outwardly gay himself, put it this way: Even though Grant's sexuality was kind of an open secret in Hollywood, the public couldn't know in any real way. But anybody could see that there was a queerness about him, so he was casted for roles where he physically embodies his masculinity in a non-explicit but queer way. Bringing Up Baby is famous for the scene where Grant wears a frilly robe (pictured below, but what people don't always realise is that he plays kind of an awkward nerd in that movie. He's a hot awkward scientist in a grand robe!!! Hot!!! In The Philadelphia Story, one of my famous movies of all time, he plays C. K. Dexter Haven, a rich, sarcastic, supposedly abusive guy. And yet, what we see is this laid back, dandy-ish figure, who absolutely does not feel threatened when a woman he supposedly loves (Katharine Hepburn) starts having feelings for, and hooks up with another guy (James Stewart). He lets a drunk Stewart into his office and helps him get his job back! Obviously that is the script and not the actor, but the whole film, and that scene in particular, shows him having this very queer attitude of openness toward Hepburn and Stewart, which is only amplified by the casting of Grant and his portrayal of the character. Anyway, this is not an essay arguing for The Philadelphia Story to be considered a queer film, all I will say is: he's super hot in it.

This is round 3 of the bracket. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage man.

[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]

Michael Redgrave propaganda:

"BISEXUAL."

"It feels unjust to submit the entirety of The Lady Vanishes as propaganda, so I'd just like to very politely point everyone to 56:30 of this link, where we get a very nice view of Michael Redgrave's ass I MEAN his lilting, fine-tuned twinkish beauty"

Cary Grant propaganda:

The link to the above mentioned frilly robe scene from Bringing Up Baby: "I just went gay all of a sudden!"

last minute cary grant propaganda: the last few paragraphs of that new vanity fair article about him and randolph scott that just came out 2 days ago on cary's birthday where he calls it "gravity collapse" and "love at first sight" and says their souls touched and and and i'm actually sharing this mostly because it makes me emotional but also because a vote for archibald is a vote for love. this is my message. apologies for sounding mildly insane.

[narcjsistx]

𝐔𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐏𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐃 | kaiser x reader

— part two

plot: kaiser comforted you after a bad and slow breakup, but what will happen now considering what you two shared? is everything still unexpected or is there something you both simply have yet to realize?. fluff shit 'cause yeah!!

words: 2.6k (2639)

extra: it will probably become a multi part story, tell me if you're interested in a part three!

𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓; take a look, trust me!. you can find the other parts of the story by searching in the section dedicated to bllk

Sunlight enters with difficulty through the shutters. The cold climate due to the snow has, for a few days, found a heating solution due to the sudden hot sun that hit Milano

Your days, since you returned from the hotel 3 days ago, had essentially been made up of your bed and your sofa: you lay there for hours, your body tired and your mind full of thoughts that couldn't find a way to get out of your head

Kaiser had called you, but you hadn't answered. You had seen the phone ring so many times that at a certain point the ringtone no longer bothered you. Gabriel on the other hand, rather than a call, had given no other signs of life, and you didn't mind that, in fact you were relieved

You didn't know why you hadn't responded to Michael, or rather, you knew but you didn't want to talk about it. You knew very well that he would ask why you had sex, you would end up fighting and even the last person left close to you would disappear. Under these conditions, it was the least of your goals to get Kaiser away from you too

You sigh, reaching out just enough to grab the phone sitting on your bedside table. It was now 4pm and you hadn't gotten up yet, and your only way of still being in contact with the world was to turn on your cell phone from time to time. It was painful to see all the articles about you or Gabriel, but you couldn't stay confined to the world

You turn on your phone, the first news you see is about you and Kaiser. Because yes, in addition to the hundreds of thousands of articles about you and Gabriel, some also talked about how you and Kaiser left the hotel hand in hand. However, the situation had not become unmanageable, given that the media knew about the friendship that concerned you: everyone justified the gesture as a simple gesture of support on Kaiser's part. After all, he was famous too, he was still the main pawn and the most loved member of the Bastard Munchen. You were both known to the world for your beloved friendship that had bound you since you were teenagers

You turned off your phone almost immediately, already unnerved by the amount of articles you had seen in just a few minutes. You put down your phone to grab the remote control, which you point at the television to turn it on

The television turns on, showing a boring cooking Tv program. You change the channel for a few seconds, until your attention is focused on a match that is being played right now

The blond and blue hair stand out in the close-up of Kaiser when he scores a crazy goal. The Italian commentator goes crazy on the microphone, idolizing the Germany prodigy in every way he can. Kaiser celebrates his goal by showing off his beloved neck tattoo, while the stadium goes crazy for him and someone, who you recognize as Ness, jumps on his shoulders. You only remember now that Kaiser had mentioned this match, which would take place in Berlin against PxG, a French team. You remember that you talked about it absentmindedly, without paying who knows how much attention. But you talked about it

Lying on the bed, you find yourself staring at your best friend with an attention you don't always give him. Kaiser was certainly handsome, he was loved by his fan base for his talent as much as his looks

He was charismatic, he knew how to treat a woman and make her feel special. You had taught him this because you wanted him to treat well the girl he would one day marry. In reality, when you lived with him and you hadn't met Gabriel yet, a lot of gossip had flown that you were his girlfriend, that in reality the girl he proclaimed as his roommate and best friend was actually the woman he loved. At the time you weren't yet famous, and the gossip had sucked you in so much that it made you question how you actually viewed Kaiser. But the result was that you simply fell in love with Gabriel. In the back of your mind, you remembered that you had once actually liked Michael. Not as a best friend. Like a lover

You were still a teenager and had recently moved to Hamburg. Every time you saw Kaiser after weeks or months of being apart, your heart would explode with happiness when you hugged him again. You knew that, for a period at least a year long, you had seriously liked him. You had never declared yourself for the simple reason that the relationship was fine for you as it was, and therefore your feelings had slowly dissolved into the air. Everything had been natural

The whistle signals the end of the match. Bastard Munchen wins for the umpteenth time and the players celebrate among themselves, while journalists begin to descend on the field to interview the players. The commentator reserves a few words about today's match, but you don't listen to him; your attention is captured in the way Kaiser's goal is replayed, and then the screen switches to him, sweaty, smiling at the camera in a way only he can. You don't blame his fanbase for loving him, in some cases, even just purely for his looks. He's amazing and he knows he is

The match ends, the television broadcasts an advertisement. You stay still for a few seconds, realizing that maybe you should get out of bed, but the moment you put your feet in your slippers you get a call: you turn to the nightstand, where the name 'mihya ♡' stands out on the screen

You look at the phone. You didn't answer his last calls, you didn't even update him by text except to tell him that you were still alive. The match is over now, he should celebrate the victory with his teammates and talk to journalists about today, but why is he calling you?

You've been worrying him since he returned to Germany, you know that; he doesn't deserve it, because at the moment he is the only one who is actually caring about how you are, while accepting your rejection when you don't answer your calls. He actually cares about you

You pick up the phone, accepting the call. The silence of the first seconds is quite annoying

"Hey"

"Mihya. Hello"

"You have been ignoring my calls for the past few days"

"I know. Sorry"

"Don't apologize, it's no use to me. You must have had your reasons for not answering me, evidently"

You know from the way he says it that he's not blaming you, but at the same time you hate having reality thrown in your face. The silence remains between you for a few more seconds that feel like hours; since you've known him, it's never happened to you that you didn't know what to say to him, but evidently there is a first time for everything. You're almost tempted to ask him about the game, but that would be a roundabout way of admitting that you watched it, and you don't want to, so you both remain silent

"Gabriel is back? Did you two talk or something...?"

"No. I haven't seen him since we argued, and I don't think he'll be around for some time"

You lie, because he explicitly told you that he would solve everything, no one knows how, and he would come back. But worrying Kaiser, who already said he wanted to kill with his own hands, doesn't seem like the right option to you

"I understand. How are you? Do you need anything else?"

"I'm as you know I am, nothing has changed, Mihya. I'm just trying to pick up the pieces again and make something that can leave me alone and calm for a while"

"Speaking of this..."

Michael goes silent. You're tempted to ask him to finish the sentence, but you don't want to force him like he's never forced you to do anything

"I've been thinking about something lately. I haven't been home much lately because of the matches, so it's free. I'm in Germany anyway but currently I change places often"

"What does it mean?"

Kaiser sighs, but you hear him a little more convinced in his sentences

"Come back to live with me. You have the entire house at your disposal since I'm often not there, so you have all the ways to be alone"

Your heart bounces in your chest, and you can swear you feel it outside of you for a few seconds. Your breath stops, but you immediately regain your composure. Kaiser stays silent, but you know he's waiting for you to agree; you know him well, and you know that proposing this to you is just a way for him to feel more at ease, because he hates knowing that you could be in contact with what he hates most in the world, Gabriel

The idea of ​​returning to Germany had crossed your mind for a few days, but you had immediately discarded it due to your job, which was still here. Even though you still received your salary, the agency no longer called you for a photo shoot or a fashion show as you had fired yourself

But now this problem no longer existed

And the thought of moving back in with Kaiser actually didn't sound that bad, even if you still had some doubts about how you would be there

"So?"

"Mihya... I don't know, it might be a nice idea, but..."

You stop talking when you hear the front door open. Your blood freezes in your veins

"Excuse me for a moment..."

You say hanging up the call, placing the phone on the bed and then walking towards the entrance of the house. Your steps are quick as you head towards the entrance, really hoping it was just a noise you imagined

You are petrified when at the entrance, as if nothing had happened, you find Gabriel with his dick face. He enters as if it were nothing, and you wonder how he managed to get in if you had promptly changed the lock on Michael's advice

"Amore!" the boy says laughing, approaching with open arms while you try in every way not to let him touch you, because just the contact disgusts you. But you don't move, petrified by anxiety. You let him hug you, wrap his arms around your body

"You don't know how much it cost me to have another key made, but every euro is wasted well if it's used for you. How have you been doing these days?" he asks whispering against your ear, and you're trying in every way to push him away from you "Leave me" you say, almost in a whisper "Stop it, you don't want to make your pretty little head any more of a burden than it already is, right? What a clumsy girl" he says laughing, and with your hands you try to push him away again "I told you to leave me..." you say placing your hands on his chest, to move him "Come on, do you welcome me like this? It's not polite to treat the man you love like this-" he says, but with a sharp gesture Gabriel staggers and leaves he pulls away from you "I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE ME" you say with a shaking voice, scared and disgusted

Gabriel looks you up and down with an annoyed look. You clench your fists against your sides, trying not to look scared. You look at each other, and in your looks you can read the disgust you feel for each other. Even today you still can't understand how your relationship lasted so long

"Y/n, really, you already know that I apologized to you and that there was just a big misunderstanding..." the boy says, but before he even finishes the sentence you interrupt him "Apologies won't help this time, Gabriel. We're not together anymore and you should leave the house right now" you say in a determined manner, but he tilts his head "Are you serious? I should leave the house that is in my name and that I paid for? And then we didn't break up" he says, and you're having a personal battle not to slap him

"We broke up. I decided it a week ago, and you know it perfectly" you say looking him straight in the eyes "No" he says, but you shake your head "We broke up, Gabriel. And you're right, I'll leave the house..." you say nodding, turning to go to your room to get your suitcase again, which you haven't unpacked. Gabriel follows you, grabbing your wrist before you reach for your suitcase

"Where the fuck do you think you're going? To the other house, which is still in my name? Another time in a stupid hotel, pretending to be desperate? Do you have the damned fucking idea that since you quit the agency is going out of our way to hire you again?” he says forcing you to turn towards him. Your wrist hurts, and you try to free yourself "I don't care! You won't have me again in that golden cage you're so proud!" you say, freeing yourself, but he grabs your other wrist

"You talk, you talk, but you really don't know a shit! You still work for me, do you understand that Y/n?" he says squeezing, and to free yourself you kick him between the legs, taking the suitcase as you run towards the exit of the house. You grab your phone and open the door, seeing Gabriel walk out of the bedroom. You look at him in disgust, tears threatening to spill out "Keep playing your stupid games, I don't care. But you depend on me, you are still my most beautiful and famous model. You need me as much as I need you" he says lightly, but the words come through straight to your ears. You turn around, walking down the stairs to your apartment "Go, go to the other house. You have nowhere else to go that doesn't belong to me" he says leaving the apartment, seeing you going down the stairs

You grip the handle of your suitcase, trying hard not to scream because other people live in the apartments next to yours. But you can't take it anymore, you hate that he thinks he has so much importance in your life

"IN GERMANY YOU ARE NOBODY! STOP TALKING, BECAUSE I WILL NEVER GO BACK TO LIVE IN A PLACE THAT REMINDS ME OF YOU. FUCK YOU AND YOUR WHOLE AGENCY, I'M GOING TO LIVE WITH KAISER" you shout from the stairs, and some neighbors look out worriedly. Gabriel is speechless, and you're satisfied that you made him that way

You go down all the stairs, arriving at the sidewalk outside the building, where you get into a taxi. "To the airport, please" you say, sighing, and the car takes off heading in the direction

In the silence of the car, you only now understand the extent of the situation you are in. You are moving back to your home country, with the person you have yet to talk to about what really happened between you. Everything is changing, and you don't know whether to be scared or not. But seeing Kaiser, in the moment, you know will make you heal a little from the pain inside

You pick up the phone, open a chat

mihya ♡

you — I'm coming back to you, mihya. Wait for me at the airport in a few hours — 17:26

[somerandomjewelleryonthefloor]

Alien stranded Solrin for Halloween! Well it's not Halloween but I made this early because if I didn't do it now then I never would in time for the end of October.

I'll be honest, my art block was killing me. But I wanted to make this still! For hallo eve. The best holiday of the year.

Alien Sol info ↓: (how the au is like, background info, Sol character info, and other stuff)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. · ───

Au storyline (calling it: "Spooky Cove"): Scott never had Solrin biologically. His ex wife Akari & his son beck were his only family though they lived in Saudi Arabia and he was in California.

One day Solrins UFO pod hits California waters, right next to Scotts house and his backyard at 3 am. Scott checks it out as his depressed ass is awake at ungodly hours, and he sees the UFO floating on top of the sea water and drifting to his backyard. When it makes it to land on his backyard, frantic crawling out was seen of Solrin. She then passed out, Scott is terrified because this random alien that looks like space itself just passed out Infront of him and kept gasping and pleading for 'fresh water'.

Scott decides "honestly, I may as well help this girl. She looks like a young kid! Maybe?" And helps carry her from the backyard to his bathtub.

Solrin wakes up in fresh water in the bathtub. Her black pearl skin reflecting every damn light surface. The only thing she sees is Scott cautiously holding out a cup of hot chocolate and then decided "this man is my father now. At least while I stay on earth."

She now lives with Scott full time as the town's beloved "space girl". Yes, everyone knows she exists as an alien and is very very open about it, yes they ward the government and scientists off of her so they don't exploit her for 'research'.

I like to think in this au, Cedar Cove (and probably the rest of America, idfk) is spooky. There's werewolves, cyborgs, half-animal-half-humams, mermaids, ghosts, skeletons, and other spooky things exist. Solrin existing is weird, but only because aliens weren't proved to be real at the time- she blends in well though. I mean. It's Spooky Cove.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. · ───

This is fucking crack, but shit up.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. · ───

She had tentacles, scales, and fins. She is an aquatic space-girl from freshwater like seas in her planet.

She is a strong swimmer, and can swim up to 4 hours continuously thanks to her gills and aquatic features. Her long hair is simply aesthetic, her alien kind hate long hair but she thinks long hair is cool and rebels because she's just like that.

Her fins however are like rubber almost, and can slip through clothes like jeans and pants just fine. Her tentacles when she's out of water and isn't in need of them shrivel into very very small sticks before retracting into her back so she can wear tops and hoodies.

Her hair isn't cut though. She's rocking really really long hair.

She originally had skin that looked like black pearls, though she adapted and changed her appearance on human form because her dad is a human so she wants to look like her father now.

She is friends with Caleb the vampire, Emma the human, Maria the witch, Aiden the ghost, and Michael the werewolf. The band of spooky is very halloweening I love it.

(I'm burnt out and tripping on straight spite and ravioli)

Extras ↑

[gallawitchxx]

weekly tag wednesday!

i was tagged by a ton of cuties -- @darlingian @energievie @deedala @palepinkgoat @crestfallercanyon @francesrose3 @mmmichyyy @lingy910y & @juliakayyy! thanks cuties! i'm smooching each & every one of you on the cheek!

about me

name: bee age: 31 star sign: cancer your first language: english second language: french! i'm fairly conversational favorite lip product: chapstick the best food dish you can make without a recipe: tacos? tacos! if you drink tea, what kind?: english breakfast or mint if you drink coffee, what roast do you usually get?: as dark as dark can be! favorite thing to watch on youtube right now: tbh i don't really watch much on youtube these days? gallavichscenes probably lol favorite thing to watch on youtube in 2012: kiss compilations oops favorite item of clothing right now: a sweatshirt that says "come to the dark side, we have smut" favorite item of clothing in 2012: this hot little red dress that made me look like a bombshell

fandom

three movies you recommend: 10 things i hate about you, elizabethtown, lars & the real girl your favorite concert: my favorite singer of all time, during a snowstorm in nyc. there were only 35 people in attendance & he came down afterwards to say hello & take pictures, even though he's the most shy person of all time - it was amazing! have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?: yes have you ever left a fandom because of the fans?: no the best tv show you watched last year: this one's really hard... it was a great year - either the bear or the final season of succession do you have a fancasting you just can't let go of?: i don't think so? even though i really loved tpz as alex in rwrb, i do wish they'd gone with a biblically accurate height difference & cast someone like michael cimino (love, victor) a ship you've abandoned: i don't think i've ever abandoned a ship! how willing are you to share your ao3 history?: omg it's a mess, but you can peek, sure do you have a fandom tattoo?(do you want one?): i have luna lovegood's radish earrings, an ode to hamlet & my favorite number in doctor who-like tally marks! & the rebel alliance symbol. oh wow, i'm a nerd! what fandom do you wish was bigger?: the last binding series by freya marske! especially hawthorn & ross, aka rawthorn my beloveds has a finale ever ruined a show for you?: same as chani - how i met your mother. terrible shame! also a bit game of thrones. it wasn't ruined, but i wasn't happy.

have you...

swam in an ocean?: yes ever been vegan/vegetarian?: no gone skinny dipping?: yes gone skiing?: no been to a convention?: many!

tagging @thisdivorce @steorie @heymrspatel @whatthebodygraspsnot @whatwouldmickeydo @metalheadmickey @gardenerian @howlinchickhowl @rereadanon @creepkinginc & anyone else who wants to play! xx

[gothsuguru]

hi there my beloved kairo i am here …… to talk abt fleabag <333 I GOT SOOO EXCITED WHEN I SAW YOU LIKED IT i need to know your favorite scene(s) and character(s) plsplspls 🙏🙏 is it the priest. i feel like it’s the priest. (he’s getocoded to me btw but you alr know that) ….

also sending you a big bouquet and some boba :3 💐🧋 i hope your day or night is going well!!!! whenever you end up seeing this!!!! ily <3

A FELLOW FLEABAG LOVER 🤝 listen i love that show SO much like phoebe is such a legend in both the writing AND acting department i love her SO much 😭

AND YOU ALREADY KNOWWWWWWW i loved hot priest soooooo much <333 the scene of him & fleabag at the church literally made me mentally unwell like i’m sorry but that’s corrupted priest!geto to a TEE… telling fleabag to “kneel.” and opening the confessional�� he’s shrouded in all black… he took off the white collar… they KISS???

AND THEN LATER ON ANOTHER VERY SUGURU GETO CODED MOMENT (JDKSKSJDKSKSJDEKJEJE ARI I’M GOING INSANE ALREADY THINKING ABT SUGURU SAYING IT KDKDKDKDKDKDKD) WHEN HE TELLS HER:

“fuck you calling me ‘Father’ like it doesn’t turn you on just to say it.”

LIKE?:!:&:!3$3:$:$:! ummmmmmm. if suguru said that to ME…………………… sorry but not sorry 2 say that nsfw actions would occur immediately after <3

but also i love fleabag & her relationship w claire like the “i look like a pencil scene” had me cryifnfnfnfnfn i love everyone in the show SO much… also omfg the entire show is so sugu-coded like the FOX mentions??? the ending when fleabag confesses that she loves the priest and he just says to her softly, “it’ll pass.” i may have cried… just a lil bit… bc you know they do STILL care for each other but at the end of the day he chooses God. WHEW……. i know there’s never gonna be another season bc they ended it perfectly but i miss fleabag sm </3

BUT OMFG WHAT ARE YOUR FAV SCENES??? AND YOUR FAV CHARACTERS??? i Have 2 know… 🗣️🗣️🗣️ also have you ever watched “derry girls” i feel like you would fucking LOVE the show omfg 😭 i already have a feeling that sister michael & michelle would be your favs (i’m projecting bc they’re my favs) like it’s also another amazing show 😭😭😭

ALSO I’M ALSO SENDING YOU FLOWERS BACK FEEL FREE TO PLANT THEM IN A GARDEN <3 🌹🌸🌺🌷🪷 i hope your day/night is going wonderfully <3 MWAH! 🩷

[livvyofthelake]

post season 2 lost character ranking let's goooo

jack clearly. nothing to say he's my favorite he's never getting knocked off the top spot. there is nothing he could do to make me love him less <3

sayid my close friend sayid! i love how he’s always right even when everyone is like woah category five sayid moment 🙄 literally believe him… he didn’t believe that man so he went out in the pouring rain to look for a hot air balloon and then dug up a grave to prove himself right all with the woman who shot his girlfriend like two weeks ago but he doesn’t blame her because he’s a) a feminist and b) knows who the Real Enemy is… that shit was crazy. they dug up a grave. in the pouring rain. and he was right.

ana lucia for the final time.... she was giving me everything in two for the road... ana lucia i would have kept you alive forever baby... when her and sayid went looking for that damn balloon that was like. one of the craziest things to happen all season. they could have become such a crazy good duo if she hadn’t been murdered. rest in peace forever babygirl i love youuuuuu 🩷

eko… literally when locke was obsessed with the button is was SO annoying but when eko was doing it i was like well let’s hear him out! and he WAS right. maybe the dynamite was a little extreme but well apparently that button needs to be pressed it would seem…

hurley <3 my buddy hurley! he’s just my buddy hurley!! and his girlfriend just died and hardly anyone gives a fuck…. he and sayid need to form a club.

kate.... girl you're flopping so crazy please come back to us... this is the highest i can put her right now it’s crazy how far she’s fallen. we need to stop the sawyer romance shit before i kill myself seriously.

claire! she’s claire!

charlie. getting a huge bump this time yay for charlie's redemption <3 things were very bleak there for a bit but i have faith he's coming back in a big way this season. um. for reasons i'm not supposed to know about but do

libby's also here for her final time rest in peace girl… my girl who did not ever get to do very much… but we loved her anyway rip to the libby backstory episode that never got to happen… love how she gave desmond a boat just because in the finale flashbacks she’s just so lovely and nice…

sun. imagine how this pregnancy storyline is about to go. i can’t even think about it. they’re gonna kill that thing aren’t they. like knock on wood hope that doesn’t happen to my friend sun it’s just. wow things are looking bleak. you know

desmond that freak! he crashed their plane! what the hell!!!!

alex is getting included this time because i am so interested by her... what's her deal.... cannot wait to find out!

locke kind of slaying lately. kinda dig his crisis of faith. i hope he starts getting haunted by the ghost of that gay man he let die. and i hope it's weird and fucked up

rose and bernard ranking low because well they do not do very much but rest assured i love them so dearly... they're always giving true love realness they're just lovely idk. we literally rank them as a pair it's beautiful...

danielle rousseau <3 literally her freak werido hermit hag realness. you wouldn't understand

jin. still giving your girl friend's shitty husband you wish she would leave but like he's better now i guess. but still.

ben. also known as henry. or that random new guy who’s name we don’t know. first of all how dare he be named ben that's a beloved book character to me. and also my cousin but that's not important if i liked every character with the same name as one of my damn cousins i'd hardly be allowed to hate anybody these bitches are irish catholic get serious. secondly i do think he's kind of a cunty antagonist... love how he's like the main guy of the others and sent himself in undercover to freak all these guys out. but well we also hate him obviously

sawyer in his classic spot at or near the bottom! classic! can always count on sawyer to be the worst huh...

michael. kill yourselfffffff oh my god. imagine getting ranked below SAWYER. that shit was DIABOLICAL work i’m never forgiving him i hope he suffers horribly

[televinita]

Derry Girls, season 2 thoughts!

IN GENERAL

There's often still a pervading sense to me of "we had this great idea for an episode, but it was too expensive so the girls were thwarted and here's a different story instead." That said...

Why did this show not run for six years and a hundred+ episodes. I've never seen anything so consistently delightful or so untethered to continuity or a throughline in my life. These episodes might take place in absolutely any order as far as I know.

Seriously, despite many attempts to ground it with news reports and the still-mystifying-to-me presence of a baby in the background who has clearly grown older since season 1, I have no idea how much time is supposed to have passed in this series.

(if it was more than a year you DEFINITELY could have fit fifteen extra adventures in per season at least)

(Does this show have fic? It should have SO MUCH gen!fic that is just canon-compliant-missing-episodes in style, and yet, I am sure without looking that the vast majority of whatever does exist is simply not that.)

I am loving (almost) all the music! This is the dead opposite of my experience w/ Good Girl's Guide to Murder.

Getting a real strong urge to rewatch "Finding You" btw.

CHARACTERS & EPISODES

+ 2x01: got quite a delight out of Sister Michael's opposite-in-appearance, identical-in-vision Protestant counterpart

+ "I do enjoy a good statue, it has to be said," another iconic line I've known as long as I've known this show.

+ Hot Priest returns to the fold, love that for me.

+ everything about the poetry episode omg.

+ It continues to baffle me that Michelle is everything I should absolutely hate in a character, this is THE miscreant I'm always like "why are you still friends with this loser?" about in YA novels, yet she remains beloved and cherished 2 me just the way she is.

+ The Concert: an episode of pure unfettered delight

+ Let's not talk about the drugs/funeral one.

+ 2x05?? I went into this show with Erin/James on the brain, but with only a single screenshot to support it, so I simply perished of joy when he turned up at her door for Prom.

(also, Orla taking her grandfather because he's the fella she likes best?? awwww)

+ The finale!! I have also known that "you're a Derry girl now" quote (overlaid over different images) for as long as I've known this show existed, but it was still so great seeing it with context.

+ Did I rewind the girls swarming him with hugs at least seven times? Yes.

+ Also, okay, that's it, I need some version of James in a book and I am currently CURSING at how little British YA I have stored in my memory banks to make it so.

(ALSO I just remembered that a book version of Erin's diary exists and I require it. After some investigation, appears I can borrow the physical book via I.L.L. but I equally want the audiobook and it is not on Libby, sadface)

Now that I have forced myself to practice writing down actual thoughts, Imma go queue some gifsets, and I'm still going to make myself sit and process all this footage for another week or two, but VERY excited to get to season 3.

[derelictheretic]

OC TAG GAME

Tagged by @socially-awkward-skeleton @strangefae and @detectivelokis !! Ty 💕💕💕

Not quite sure whose done this since i've been. absent. so i'mma send tags out to @deputyash @bluemojave @adelaidedrubman @bl-beater @jollybone @clicheantagonist @florbelles @unholymilf @henbased @ishwaris @megraen @shellibisshe @trashcatsnark @v0idbuggy @wewillryesagain No pressure as always !!

Favourite OC

Currently I would say Lola is holding that spot, she's fun to draw and write for and I just spin her in my brain like a rotisserie chicken all day she brings me so much joy to think about. She's also my first transfem OC so she,,,,, is so special 2 me <3

My consistent faves of all time tho are my boy Damien (my half demon half vamp man), my girl Lucy (She is a unicorn shifter and I Adore she sooooo much) and ofc my creacher Dean uvu

Oldest OC

Damien!! He's from my first original story I ever made and I've had him for 7 to 8 years!! He rotates in my head forever even tho I barely talk about him 👉👈 His story has changed a few times but his design has stayed pretty consistent! He means the world to me and so does his story and one day I will bring it to life ashsjsjs

Newest OC

That would be Lola!!!! I'd been wanting another unhinged lady to play around with and felt like having a pink murder lady as well and thus Lola was born 🥺 She brings serotonin and I love playing around with her relationships with the other characters!

Meanest OC

Hmmm this is a tough one but it's probably Heather! Heather is actively mean on purpose and loves her passive aggression and tearing people down through her words. She smiles while pointing out all ur insecurities and faults and will laugh if u cry <3 bestest worstie wife ever <333

I have a few other mean OC's like Rilo (Demon lord) but he's on a much bigger scale of wanting to commit genocide against all supernatural creatures soooo he's just like evil less so just mean. Very smile in ur face while he obliterates ur very atoms kinda vibe,, hate him so <3

Softest OC

This is impossible I have too many softies,, But probably Lucy! She's a pacifist and just has the biggest heart, she's very empathetic and always wants to help people even if there is nothing she can do in a situation. She also is just very soft in nature like she has a gentle touch and soft voice and sweet eyes that will make u cry and tell her all ur problems while she holds u.

Most aloof/standoffish

I have a few of these too lol I'd say it's a tie between Michael, Silas (Eldritch horror slasher) or Pheonix (Marvel OC besties with Wade). Silas probably wins because he doesn't tolerate talking to humans in any circumstance and just seeing him tends to send people running. Silent, brooding, grumpy eldritch horror man my beloved.

Smartest OC

I have a sentient AI OC called HEXX and he has knowledge from all across the galaxy (being an AI for a spaceship he needs it lol) so I'd say that'd be him! Ask him anything and he has the answer, just don't ask him about love bc he will have his 1010th identity crisis and the ship will suffer it's 1010th failing and emergency landing :)

Dumbest (affectionate) OC

Hmmm i'm gonna say my baby boy Ky bc he's my literal himbo lmao He has zero thoughts in his pretty little head!! Only loving friends and having fun!!!! Golden retriever boy only know eat hot food and love everyone!!!!! No but he genuinely is so,, so stupid,,, the one thing he can somehow do on his own is cook, baking is off limits he will burn down the kitchen......

OC's I'd be friends with irl

I have a few I think it'd get along with so I'll narrow it down to three!

Piper; We would vibe in a makeshift tree house and play video games and I'd listen to her gush over women (Faith) for hours and she'd judge my horrid taste in men <3 She'd probably also beat me in poker and steal all my money.

Fredrick; my genderfluid god would take me to so many concerts and drag me across the country to get something they bought off of eBay and I would have a blast.

My lil tech nerd Keiden; he likes coding and games, I can kind of code and like games, it just makes sense. We'd play raft and Minecraft and make epic structures and talk about what we would do different with the game mechanics.

[cdyssey]

Maggie’s Abbott/Yellowjackets Masterpost

For my organization. :’) |  Last Updated: 8/23/23

Abbott Elementary:

Fics:

Drill Day [Tumblr / AO3] → After Abbott Elementary's now traditional Drill Day—which requires the teachers and students to practice four mandated emergency drills over the course of a single day—Barbara checks on her own: Gregory, Jacob, Janine, and, of course, Melissa.

Wounds [Tumblr / AO3] → After Barbara accidentally cuts her hand in the break room, Melissa is there to clean up the wound; however, ever since Draymond's visit at the school, there has been an unspoken tension dividing the space between the two women like a knife.

I’ve Been Loving You Too Long [AO3] → Work Wives/Teddie collaboration fic with @straperine (Michael), my beloved. (2/4 Chapters)

Zipper [Tumblr / AO3] → Frankly, Barbara Howard has never had so much trouble with a damn zipper before. A Secret Santa gift for athenaseden.

Trust Me [Tumblr / AO3] → Melissa had to put someone down as her emergency contact. A Secret Santa gift for Michael.

From the Classroom:

A collection of prompts and one-shots I've written for Abbott Elementary. Mostly Barbara/Melissa. Prompts open!

Baby [AO3] → Barbara and Melissa call each other baby in front of their coworkers.

Fix You [Tumblr / AO3] → The Abbott staff meets up at a bar after work, and a guy hits on Melissa and Barbara becomes protective.

Tattoo [Tumblr / AO3] → Barbara finds it hot that Melissa has a tattoo.

Birthdays [Tumblr / AO3] → Melissa snaps at Janine and makes her cry. Some cute mothery apologies follow.

Crab Bisque [Tumblr / AO3] → When Barbara is desperately craving her late mother's crab bisque, she calls Melissa over to help her make it.

Horrible [Tumblr / AO3] → After the events of 2x09, Melissa and Barbara quickly realize how horrible they had been.

The Art Teacher [Tumblr / AO3] → Pre-relationship Melissa/Barbara where Barb is getting jealous over Mel’s new fling? Could be a new teacher who’s a woman as well?

Hard Candy Christmas [Tumblr / AO3] → After their holiday dinner, Melissa and Barbara ensure that a tipsy Jacob makes it home safely.

Aunt Mel [Tumblr / AO3] → Before Open House is officially over, Taylor pays her Aunt Mel a visit. Set during 1x10.

Silent Night [Tumblr / AO3] → Au where Mel and Barb live together happily and spend a cozy snow day at home thanks to a torrential blizzard/storm. They do all the blissful domestic things like bake/cook, watch movies, cuddle, read, dance, etc. Either the girls are smaller and they build forts/play, or they’ve grown up and moved out by then, whichever! :’)

Sea Barbara [Tumblr / AO3] → One year after her divorce with Gerald, Sea Barbara is a little in love with everyone... including, and perhaps specifically, her best friend.

The View [AO3] → Melissa simply watches her wife as she works in their shared garden, enamored, so in love.

Barbara and Melissa, Pt. 1 [Tumblr / AO3] → When Barbara and Melissa discover that their husbands are cheating on them—and with each other, no less—their lives as they have known them are suddenly and dramatically upended. Grace and Frankie AU (Pt. I).

Advocate [Tumblr / AO3] → Pizza date??

Lies [Tumblr / AO3] → When Barbara has a flat tire at her church, Melissa goes to help her. Of course she does. (Post-2x13).

Promise [Tumblr / AO3] → Barbara and Melissa - microprompt: You scared me."

Irredeemable [Tumblr / AO3] → Ava and Barbara either as a ship or a dynamic: “Irredeemable.”

Texts [Tumblr / AO3] → Ava & Melissa platonic. “Speaking of Barb...”

Good Mood Day [Tumblr / AO3] → It's a classic Schemmenti good mood day. (It's been a while.)

Valentine’s Day [Tumblr / AO3] → On Valentine's Day, Barbara and Melissa have their worst fight yet. [Pre-2.14 Fic]

Valentine’s Night [Tumblr / AO3] → After her airport date with Gerald, Barbara can't help but call and check up on Melissa. [Post-2.14]

One Bed [Tumblr / AO3] → When Barbara and Melissa get to their conference hotel room, they're unduly shocked that there is only one bed. [Post-2.16] | The wonderful @gatalentan made a recording of their favorite part of “One Bed.” Hhhgh, it made me so emo!! Check it out!

Three Women and a Glass of Wine [Tumblr / AO3] → Barbara and Ava go over to Melissa's house to come up with a plan of action against Legendary Charters. (Regrettably, there is wine involved.) [Post-2.17]

Apology Gifts [Tumblr / AO3] → Though they've already reconciled, Melissa and Barbara also exchange apology gifts. [Post-2.18]

No Children [Tumblr / AO3] → Would you be willing to write more about Melissa and having kids?

Tired [Tumblr / AO3] → In the week since Gerald's test results came back abnormal, Barbara Howard has been so tired. [Pre-2.15]

Different World [Tumblr / AO3] → I re-read your gardening fic recently where Mel's staring at Barb and is heart-eyes at her and it's just so nice, so anything along those lines would be lovely.

Human [Tumblr / AO3] → A quiet moment between Barbara and Janine after they return to the school from their shopping trip. [2.21 Spoilers]

Heavenly Moments [Tumblr / AO3] → Unable to sleep at the Franklin Institute, Barbara searches for Melissa. [2.22 Spoilers]

Wreck [Tumblr / AO3] → When Melissa's nana dies, Barbara is there for her.

Facetious [Tumblr / AO3] → After the end of yet another long work day, Melissa comes to collect Barbara. [Post-1.01]

Blueberry Pie [Tumblr / AO3] → Melissa brings Barbara a blueberry pie as an apology. [Post-1.02]

Other:

This is mostly just a compilation of the bigger/longer stuff, but generally, I post liveblogs, meta, and shorter posts under #maggie blogs! And then you can find any art I do under #maggie doodles.

Abbott 1.06 Rewatch

Abbott 2.14 Thoughts

Abbott 2.15 Thoughts

Abbott 2.19 Thoughts

Abbott 2.22 Reactions

Abbott Elementary: 31 Prompts

Abbott Elementary S1-2 Bracket: You can find all the polls and other posts in my tag #abbott bracket!

Abbott Elementary + Things to Never Say to Someone Who Just Came Out

Abbott Rewatch: Anything I’ve personally made for it!! <3 You can find the main blog at @abbottrewatch.

Barbara Meta (2.13)

Discord WW Fic with Michael

Janine and Ayesha Drabble [post-2.18]

Maggie’s Abbott End of S2 Bingo [Last 3 Eps.] [Update 3]

Maggie’s Work Wives Bingo

Melissa + Thanksgiving Headcanons

Pieces that Fit Together [about Mel post-2.11] — Feat. Michael

Pre-2.16 Work Wives Conference Drabble

Random Work Wives Headcanons

Some domestic Work Wives headcanons!

Thoughts on Abbott women and their relationships to the cameras.

uQuiz: Which Abbott Elementary woman are you?

Work Wives Pre-2.16 Conference Drabble

Yellowjackets:

Baby Shower + Steel Magnolias Thoughts (2.03)

Four tickets to the Barbie movie, please.

I’ve had Bruce for a day and a half.

Jackie + Poppies Edit

Jeff and Shauna Thoughts

Lottie’s Gay Compound

Just a little Yellowjackets uQuiz!

Shauna and Callie Meta (2.02)

Shauna and Motherhood Meta (2.06)

Shauna Meta (2.07)

Taissa the Cringefail Girlflop Thoughts (2.06)

Taissa the Dirt-Eating Lesbian

Yellowjackets + The Righteous Gemstones

Yellowjackets S2 Finale Bingo [Update]

Yellowjackets + Things to Never Say to Someone Who Just Came Out

Yellowjackets 2.02 Thoughts

Yellowjackets 2.03 Thoughts

Yellowjackets 2.04 Reactions

Yellowjackets 2.05 Reactions

Yellowjackets 2.06 Reactions

Yellowjackets 2.07 Reactions

Yellowjackets 2.08 Reactions

Yellowjackets 2.09 Reactions

Fics:

Brink [Tumblr / AO3] → Shauna and Taissa have made it somewhat of a dirty habit now, calling each other, checking-in, at least once or twice a week—even though they damn well know they shouldn't.

Good Mother [Tumblr / AO3] →  When Shauna returns home from the motel, she's surprised to find that Callie waited up for her.

Safe [Tumblr / AO3] → On the night before Natalie's funeral, Tai finds herself on Shauna's doorstep.

[hurtmionedanger]

Hey bestie don't be shy

top 5 favorite podcast characters and why

YOU EXPECT ME TO PICK???? PICK BETWEEN MY BELOVED GUYS???????

I am going to try to diversify beyond the magnus archives, mostly because dbd has had me in a death choke recently

With that being said, in no particular order

1. The Obituary writer from Death by Dying

Hes such an icon, normal guy and yet so so so very weird, his best friend is the angel of death, his other best friend is in his freezer and her still beating heart is on his desk, everyone thinks he’s going to kill someone one of these days based on looks alone, he has a questionable taste in fashion, hes bisexual, he has three man eating cats, he solves murders just like as a hobby, he is the most sopping wet pathetic wet cat of a man you could ever hope to meet, he is silly, what more could you possibly want from a man?

2. Jonathan Jarchivist, see prior post about this man he is so ridiculous, mf ACCIDENTALLY STARTED THE APOCALYPSE, He has been kidnapped more then princess peach, he is the eyes special little boy, hes ASEXUAL LIKE ME FRFR, he has a boyfriend who loves him very much, he likes good cows, hot singles in his area want to hunt him for sport, hes the saddest little meow meow there could possibly be.

3. Timothy stoker, managed to convey he was wearing a hawaiian shirt by voice alone, also THIS MAN IS THE ARCHIVES BRAINCELL, THE SLUTTY BISEXUAL IS THE BRAINCELL HERE WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT THE ARCHIVES, BECAUSE SASHA VERY MUCH IS NOT THE BRAINCELL SHE FOLLOWED A DEFINITELY NOT HUMAN GUY TO A RANDOM GRAVEYARD WITH VERY LITTLE FOLLOW UP AS TO WHY SHE NEEDED TO GO, AND JON DOESNT HAVE IT FOR PREVIOUSLY STATED REASONS, AND MARTIN IS MARTIN, MEANING TIM IS THE ONLY BRAINCELL HERE. Also as my boyfriend can attest, i have a thing for angry men in hawaiian shirts, i think theyre hot

4. Not technically a Guy persay, but the beloved michael distortion for having a sick ass voice and an even sicker statement, shows up and just stabs the archivist just because he can, he is literally the embodiment of gaslighting gatekeeping and girlbossing and his design is very cool really regardless of how people draw him but ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY DRAW HIM WITH LIKE SUPER DISTORTED JOINTS AND MULTIPLE FACES AND SHIT LIKE MMMMMMMMM, he gets bonus points for having excellent hair and not being a who but a what

Number five hhhh how do i pick between all of my beloved podcast guys, leaving out martin because i already screamed about Why i love Martin Knife Blackwood Already

5. Georgie Barker I think has to go here, maybe alongside helen and Melanie, i love them all for very different reasons but they are just such girlbosses, georgie just doesn’t feel fear, had an existential crisis so hard her brain stopped processing it, she is the girl ever, also shes jons ex, automatically getting her more points, she had a skin clown break into her apartment and fuck with her lights and the only reason she was upset was because it meant she had to replace all her lightbulbs, Also georgie has a podcast where she talks about ghosts, which is really funny to me, and i would absolutely listen to her podcast

Honorable mentions:

Helen for season 5 shenanigans of showing up whenever JMart were fighting because she wanted the Tea

Gerry Keay for his defining trait mentioned by every single statement giver who saw him being “Really shittily dyed hair” like imagine that being your legacy

[rose-and-thorn-fanfics]

“Mary Prays The Rosary For My Broken Mind” (An AHS Apocalypse Fanfic) Michael Langdon x Fem! OC: Part 1

Gone. The whole world was now an ashen plain of radioactive debris and corpses. Primrose Murphy rocked herself back and forth, her knees pulled close to her chest as she wept in her room in Outpost Three. She had no idea where she was, or why she had been chosen to live. The more she cried, the less it seemed to matter. She would never see her mother again. Hours passed by, and she knew dinner would be approaching. ‘I should get ready,’ Primrose thought. But she didn’t move from her spot on the floor. She reached for the place her wooden rosary used to rest, but quickly remembered that Wilhelmina Venable had taken it, along with her normal clothes because of “risk of contamination”. She almost laughed with bitterness, but her throat was too tight. “If you’re watching, Lord Jesus, know that I am beyond angry. No words can describe that of a girl left in a desolate apocalypse without her beloved mother. I’m filled with so much hatred and sadness, I could almost hate you.” Primrose whispered. “Almost.”

She stood up, brushing her skirt off, and wandering towards the dark wooden armoire. Primrose opened the doors and touched the fine fabrics of elegant gowns. Half-heartedly selecting a blush satin one, she tried it on. It fit perfectly, the matching earrings glittering mockingly in the candlelight. “Well, time to eat that cube we always get. At least Emily will be there.” This was her nineteenth week at Outpost Three, and her friendship with Emily had grown as much as it could under the circumstances. Primrose’s stomach was growling vigorously. She made her way towards the music room, wiping her tears and focusing on the sound of the damask fabric of her dress sweeping quickly over the tiled floor. 

The same song they had heard a hundred times played softly. Emily got up out of her seat and greeted Primrose by pulling her aside. “You’ve been crying again?” Emily whispered with concern. Primrose nodded. “You’ll never believe what happened to me earlier.” Emily continued, eyes wide. 

“What?” she responded, genuinely curious.

“I was lying in bed and then I heard this sound. Next thing I know, a bunch of poisonous snakes are slithering all over my bedroom, ready to attack me!” Emily explained. “I only escaped unscathed because Miriam Mead heard my screams, and killed the snakes by chopping off their heads.” 

Primrose gasped. “How did they get in here? I thought... everything was dead or contaminated.”

“I don’t know, but I have a sinking suspicion they’ll be in our dinner.” Emily sighed. “I’m starting to think this place is hell disguised as a shelter from the apocalypse.” 

--BANG. Wilhelmina Venable announced her presence by pounding her cane on the floor. “Dinner is served.” The occupants of Outpost Three made their way to the dining room, where there were large bowls on the table of something hot, presumably soup, covered with lids. “Today we feast humbly on the very fruits of the earth that have revealed themselves to us.” Venable stated without an ounce of genuine emotion. “Consider yourselves lucky to have this meal.”

“Snake?” Primrose mouthed out to Emily who sat across from her. Emily nodded, swallowing nervously before lifting the lid off of the soup bowl in front of her. Primrose followed suit, staring down at the steamed and chopped serpent in the bowl as her stomach growled and lurched simultaneously. 

She glanced at Venable, and when she looked back down she shrieked, stumbling backwards and knocking over her chair as she was met with a hissing bowl of now fully intact vipers. Mr. Gallant and Timothy were next to jump back, shouting in surprise to see their dangerous dinner come to life. Even Venable seemed mildly phased.

Miriam and some of the other workers their started killing the snakes (again), and collecting their corpses, swiftly taking them out of the dining room. Emily and Timothy exited the dining room, exchanging frightened whispers to each-other in the hall. Primrose stood frozen, mouth gaping, unable to get over her shock. 

Finally, Emily and Timothy and the other residents calmed down enough to gather in the library, assured repeatedly by Wilhelmina that the serpents were gone. 

Footsteps echoed in the hall, someone unexpected approaching, and the heaviness of doom filled the air. Primrose looked down at her hands folded in her lap, closing her eyes and saying a silent prayer. The newcomer passed behind her, and she lost concentration, unable to finish the prayer. When she looked up, a man stood at the head of the room, in front of the fireplace. The most handsome man she had ever seen.

His light green blue-grey eyes briefly met her own dark stare, before he looked towards Venable with irritation as he addressed the residents of Outpost Three. “My name is Langdon and I represent the Cooperative.” He spoke. “I won’t sugarcoat the situation. Humanity is on the brink of failure. My arrival here was crucial to the survival of civilized life on earth. The three other compounds have been overrun and destroyed. We have had no contact from the six other internantional Outposts, so its logical to assume they too have been eliminated.”

“What h-happened to the people... living in them?” Primrose managed, nervously fingering the fabric of her sleeves. 

“Massacred.” Langdon said, with a hint of amusement. Primrose’s heart skipped a beat. “The same fate that will befall almost all of you...” 

“Almost all?” Mallory spoke up from one of the dimmer corners where the greys were standing.” 

Langdon disregarded her commentary. “In the knowledge that this might occur, we built a failsafe. The Sanctuary. The Sanctuary is unique, it has certain measures that will prevent overrun.”

Miriam Mead stepped forward. “Excuse me sir, why weren’t these measures given to us?”

“That’s classified.” Langdon replied. “All that matters is that the sanctuary will...survive, so the people populating it will survive, so humanity will survive. However, I’ve been sent to determine if any of you are worthy and fit to join us.” His mesmerizing gaze once again landed on Primrose. “The Cooperative has developed a specific and unique way of interrogation. We like to call it cooperating. I will then use the information gained to determine if you belong.”

Coco St. Pierre Vanderbilt spoke up, shaking her head in frustration. “What is this, the Hunger Games?” She sneered. “This is bullshit! I paid my way in here, and that is the only cooperating I intend to do.”

“You don’t have to sit for questioning.” Langdon said. 

“What happens if we choose not to?” Andre spoke up.

“Then you stay here and die.” He responded. 

“I... volunteer to go first..” Primrose said, the words tumbling out of her mouth before she had thought them through.

“And so you shall.” Langdon smirked. “The process should only take me a couple of days, so you won’t be kept in suspense forever. I look forward to meeting each and every one of you...”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Primrose sat in a room, completely alone, save Langdon, who sat staring at her. She shifted in her seat nervously. “So... what sort of questions are you planning on asking?”

“I’m not going to reveal the criteria I’m using, if that’s what you’re asking... Prim.” Langdon said, standing up and walking behind Primrose. He placed his hands on her shoulders gently, and despite the overwhelming feeling of danger, she let out a soft sigh of pleasure. The way he shortened her name made her feel he was familiar with her already in an intimate way. Primrose tried desperately to think of something that might distract her from the way one of his hands slid down and rested on her left breast. 

“Sir-”

“-Your heart is racing. You should try and relax.” He suggested, almost sympathetically. Primrose bit her lip. Just when she thought her heartbeat was on the verge of slowing down, Langdon asked his next question. “What’s your sexual orientation?”

Primrose stood up, pulling away from the hypnotic touch of her interrogator. “I’m s-st-straight.” She backed away quickly, feeling the presence of evil in her midst. “Why are you....” she paused. Her back met a wall and the mysterious man advanced until he was inches from her face. “Langdon-”

“You can call me Michael for now,” he said, licking his lips, wicked amusement written all over his face. “Tell me about your mother.”

Primrose wracked her mind for what to say. Finally she spoke. “My mom was a wonderful woman. You... you could see the light of life in her smile. She was very religious, and always told me to be careful who I trusted with my heart.” Primrose said, attempting indignance . Instead her voice came out weak and filled with sadness. “Why do you want to know about her?”

“That’s of no consequence.” Michael replied quickly, pulling away and slowly pacing the room. “Have you ever trusted anyone with your heart before?”

Primrose shook her head, exhaling in relief to not be under his intense gaze for that moment. 

“And your body? Who have you trusted with your flesh?” He said, taking a seat again at his desk and staring at his computer.

“I’ve never... done things like that.” Primrose said awkwardly, blushing despite herself. 

Michael Langdon typed a few things on his computer without looking up. “That’s all, Miss Murphy.” He said, gesturing with his hand for her to leave.

Primrose quickly left the room, heading straight for her bedroom. ‘What strange questions... was he really asking them to analyze whether or not I was fit for the sanctuary? Or...” Prim shook the thought from her head. “Its possible my sexual orientation is important because of repopulation and all. Still...’ She closed the door and undid the corset of her dress as best as she could, then flopped on her bed. “Something about Langdon feels... wrong.” she muttered as she drifted off to sleep. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Please Reblog If You Enjoyed! Part 2 Is Coming Soon! 

[bossymarmalade]

Thoughts on the women of Homicide?

Amazing. As per usual for this show, they were varied and complex and not always likeable. In fact there were a few I distinctly DIDN'T like.

But let's start with Kay Howard. Remember when they stopped putting makeup on Melissa Leo and just let her hair do what it wanted, to match her perfect clearance rate? Remember how she wore sports jackets and pleated trousers and looked like somebody's small female uncle? I mention her appearance bc it was important in conjunction with how Kay took no prisoners but at the same time she showed interests in keepsakes, and family, and getting laid. She sometimes went out of her way to support other women and sometimes didn't seem to care. She liked talking about sex with her fellow detectives and somehow managed to hit a sweet spot where it was like they were talking man-to-man except she wasn't a man. It was great.

Megan Russert - UGGGGHHH. I think one of the show runners said they wanted a "fuckable" woman on the show? Anyhow Meghan was a pick me with her satin blouses and her coiffed hair and the way she said nonsense like how she wanted to be "the best detective not the best WOMAN detective" and thought it was idk 'tokenistic' or something to support other women in the department. She sucked. Her kid sucked. Her affair with Beau sucked.

Special mention: Barbara Shivers. I love u girl <3

Even MORE special mention: Emma Zoole. A Chinese-American woman with an obsession for death art who slept in a coffin and fucked Bayliss in said coffin!?? I loved Emma Zoole beyond all reason and only partially because she was played by the marvellous Lauren Tom.

Julianna Cox was so good. Aloof standoffish M.E. with wounds a mile wide, who decides to gravitate towards the OTHER walking wound on the squad and then we got to watch her and Mikey eviscerate each other without even realizing it? Fantastic. She was no ordinary shiksa. Blew into town in her hot rod and left the same way. Iconic.

Terri Stivers - loved her. I liked her energy with Kellerman and the ever-mysterious referring to him as "Sir Michael"; I liked that she entered the Luther Mahoney mess from an 'outsider' perspective and Meldrick was fascinated AND put off by her. I love that she got embroiled in it and did a complete 180 on Kellerman that I didn't understand the full importance of then but I sure as fuck do now.

Georgia Rae Mahoney was a classic sort of antagonist and completely out of stereotype. Possibly a lesbian? I could never quite figure her out and I loved that.

Laura Ballard ... look I wanted to like Ballard. I like Callie Thorne and she was kinda fun but she suffered from New Character Shows Up Your Beloved Existing Characters syndrome. It was especially irksome that it was in a ham-fisted storyline where Pembleton was lax in investigating a prestigious black family just because they were a prestigious black family to the point of ignoring evidence. And then they gave Ballard that juvenile office romance with Falsone. It was just tedious. But not as much as --

Rene Sheppard! I can't be fair to her because I didn't think the actor was very good so I tuned out or fast forwarded most of Sheppard. She got beat down gun took. Her ponytails looked punishingly tight.

Billie Lou -- god please why

Mary Pembleton made the greatest potato salad in the entire world full stop.

[watching-pictures-move]

Movie Review | House of Wax (Collet-Serra, 2005)

Watching this in 2023, this feels very much like a blast from a the past, a snapshot of what the horror genre was like in the mid-2000s. At the time, you started to get the remakes of beloved classics, with the Platinum Dunes Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Zack Snyder's Dawn of the Dead having come out before this one. (I hated the former when I saw it years ago but consider the latter one of the better horror movies of the decade and an interesting Bush era document to boot.) I haven't seen the original House of Wax (but probably should as it stars Vincent Price) or Mystery of the Wax Museum which I understand originates some of the story ideas here (but probably should as it's directed by Michael Curtiz) and doubt this one has too much in common with the earlier films, but I suppose the name is a cheap enough way for the studio to milk more money out of an existing IP.

You also had the found footage boom more or less kicked off by The Blair Witch Project. This is not a found footage movie, but it does have sequences shot on camcorders, which are supposed to capture the characters having a good time, but have the effect of a last known photo, especially with the lo-fi image. There is also imagery here, like a hot wax needle contraption that a character gets strapped to, and the forcible restraining of a child to a rusty chair, that brings to mind the torture porn wave, but the movie is generally indebted to the resurgence in "mean" horror, with the work of Rob Zombie and Eli Roth and some of the more violent entries in the remake wave. For whatever reason I'd mistakenly assumed that this was rated PG-13, and was caught off guard by the gnarlier acts of violence: slashed tendon, lopped off finger, impaled head. And while I likely wouldn't have appreciated it at the time, I did find the jaundiced texture of the movie, which is probably easier to pull off when shooting on film with its tactility than with digital smoothness. And the wax figures that populate the movie lend to the atmosphere of decay and allow things to get nice and goopy when things start melting in the climax, although I should note that the wax figures of colour bear an unfortunate resemblance to C. Thomas Howell's character in Soul Man but that the wax figures of Caucasian descent sadly do not resemble Eddie Murphy in "White Like Me".

Anyway, I doubt this is anybody's favourite movie from the era, but I had a pretty good time. On top of the gruesome violence and the atmosphere, there are some pretty suspenseful sequences, particularly one where the heroine tries to evade detection in a theatre playing Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? I watched this the same night as Cabin Fever, and while both movies play on anxieties about backwoods folk in a very Bush era way, I appreciated how much more tolerable the characters were in this, even if the cast members all look like they're from a CW show. Elisha Cuthbert I'd known at the time as the girl from Popular Mechanics for Kids, and she's a perfectly capable horror heroine here. The guy from Supernatural (not the guy everybody likes, the other guy) is fine too. Maybe Chad Michael Murray is a bit bland, but not offensively so. Apparently he's doing geezer teasers now? If he's playing the geezers, he's likely grown his range.

And I remember this being heavily marketed on the basis of Paris Hilton's role, and people playing up how bad she's supposed to be. Maybe because I avoided engaging with anything she was in at the time (which sounds like it could have been hard given how popular her show was, but one should not underestimate how good I was at putting in zero effort to keep up with current pop culture, something which still holds for anything outside cinema) and thus bear little contempt toward her, but I thought she was perfectly adequate, and I appreciate that both she and the movie treat each other with a baseline of seriousness. There could have been much more obnoxious versions of the movie, where either she phones it in or the movie uses her as a punchline. Anyway, I think Ebert describes her performance best: "The early reviewers have been harsh with Miss Hilton ('so bad she steals the show,' says The Hollywood Reporter), but actually she is no better or worse than the typical Dead Post-Teenager, and does exactly what she is required to do in a movie like this, with all the skill, admittedly finite, that is required."