#host!edward nygma

[diddle-riddle]

Here for the Tease

[Semi-explicit sex scene. Bruce is horny for his human, Eddie eventually lets him be in charge and they are both stupid in a fun way. The tone of this snippet is closer to crack]

........ ........

A slick tendril raises up the side of his leg under his jeans. It feels like a string of lukewarm alive seaweed undulating against his skin. Lazily, the appendage curls from his thoroughly waxed calf to the scar on his knee, runs alongside the tender flesh inside his right thigh... plays mockingly with the band of his boxer shorts.

Edward's breathing rate increases.

He cannot lecture his symbiote-friend: he is sitting in a crowded amphitheater, listening to a presentation from the designer standing on the set. His stupid boss Daniel Mockridge enrolled video game programmers in a week of internship for them to 'get on the page' with the latest technological progresses regarding digital imaging.

Not that twenty-year-old Eddie needs any of this. His first project, Riddle of the Minotaur, meets a flourishing success; he is already planning a second game in this universe, Riddle Factory under its working title, and makes researches to develop another concept centered around a mix between the Egyptian and European versions of the Sphinx he'll place at the center of an investigation game.

For someone who never went to college, Ed has a visionary spirit in matter of business.

He also relies on... a busy, fulfilling private life.

Eddie smiles fondly when thinking about his four-year-old daughter, who spends the day at her mother and step-father's house. Albeit he earned complete custody over Stephanie, Crystal and Arthur remain helpful. When Steph's aunts Nina and Diedre can't take her in charge while her dad is at work, he can count on Stephie's mother and Crystal's husband.

He was in a hurry this day finishes to finally get back home.

The tentacle trails under his briefs, distracting Ed from thoughts related to his job and family. The symbiote teases the area far too close to his cock... and changes of shape, remaining thin to fit in his jeans but extending enough to cup his balls. As if a flat hand abruptly put a delicate pressure against him and held it there, not moving, just... electrifying him due to the deliciously torturous closeness.

"Bruce..." he curses, shifting his thighs uncomfortably. "Not now, be patient..."

He bites his lower lip to block any suspicious sound when the hand starts to massage his sac gently.

No one on either seats next to his, but two seats on his right and only one on his left separate him from strangers, workers in Mockridge's company or programmers from other corps, who gathered for the 'courses' displayed there from Monday morning to Friday afternoon.

"We are not alone..." he blames him, whispering furiously while his hands ball into fists on his sides to manifest his intense displeasure... or as a consequence of his growing arousal.

Or both.

His trousers feel far too tight all of a sudden.

If anything, the young man's half-hearted attempt at regaining a composure amuses the alien, who lets out a discreet laugh only Eddie hears.

Far too long to be a human finger, a sort of digit leaves the 'hand' squeezing his lower manhood to slide along the shaft then stroke the sensitive skin of his head.

Ed's teeth dig deeper into his lip to refrain a pitiful whining.

Bruce's shapeshifting form adapts to envelop his whole cock, trapping the hardening length inside an impossible to describe grip.

And then he starts to move. The most skilled hands of the planet stroke his penis, slowly, ever so slowly though efficaciously... It isn't long before Edward fusses on his seat, more and more unable to restrain strangled yelps when Bruce applies the equivalent of a thumb flat against his tip or when the alien's rhythm gives him the impression to be dutifully deepthroated.

"That's it, I fucking hate you," he murmurs as a conclusion, shoulders trembling and legs turned into jelly when he stands up from his folding auditorium chair.

Eddie apologizes towards the two girls and a boy he has to disrupt to exit his row and walks to the alley. A prudent move to stay not far from the top of the amphitheater: he doesn't attract much attention upon him when he heads for the doors located at the extremity of the huge room.

The internship takes place in an university that often rents its auditoriums for presentations like these.

Edward is glad not to meet more than two young persons kissing in a corridor, he reaches the closest desert toilets and locks himself in a cabin.

Even here he can't exactly be 'noisy' in case a boy enters, but at least he won't give his chair neighbors the impression he plays with himself during a class. If anyone noticed the sweat perking on his forehead and his shifting coupled to hidden though existing groans, they will either think he is a crazy guy having visions or a total pervert who wears sex toys under his clothes.

"Now let me make you feel good, Eddie..."

His pants plus underwear pooling around his knees, Edward looks down to a satisfied symbiote, whose pointy-eared black head materialized along with one strong arm, all attached directly to Ed's body.

"I hate you."

"No you don't."

The extraterrestrial purrs loudly as he goes on with more dedicated ministrations. By just touching him, he brings his human to the edge more rapidly than Edward's dignity is willing to admit.

..........

Read “Here for the Tease” on AO3 here Discover the rest of the DC Symbiotes Series on AO3 here

[froot-batty]

maybe don't piss off the man who owns a scythe, ed

[nightmare-foundation]

Hero/villain batfamily swap AU

Okay so I really wanna infodump about my au that I've recently made, which puts the batfamily in the Gotham Rogues' places. I haven't thought through all of them yet, and I haven't accounted for all the batfamily (i.e. Kate Kane, Luke Fox, etc), but this is what I have

The Rogues

Bruce- The Penguin

Dick- Two-Face

Tim- The Joker

Stephanie- Black Mask

Damian- the Demons Head/Ra's Al Ghul

Barbara- The Riddler

Duke- Mr. Freeze

Cass- Lady Shiva?

The Heroes/good guys

Jason- Batman

Nightwing/Robin I- Jacob 'Jake' Grayson

Red Hood/Robin II- Thomas Grayson

Raven/Robin III- Jonathan Crane

Spoiler/Robin IV- [name] Brown (she hasn't been named yet, but she's Stephanie's daughter!)

Robin V- William Todd

Black Bat- Rose Wilson

The Signal- TBD (feel free to suggest ideas)

Seer- James Gordon Jr.

Harvey Dent

Edward Nygma

Jack Napier

Oswald Cobblepot

Waylon Jones

Jervis Tetch

Basil Karlo

Admittedly, the ones I've thought through the most are Dick, Jason, Tim and Damian. Some characters i haven't thought much about at all or I have an idea of what I want them to be (like Harvey having a role similar to Jim Gordon, or maybe Edward works with Lucius?).

BUT- this is an au where an outside force fucked with the timeline (haven't decided who/what or how) and, after regaining their past timeline memories, the batfamily (now Rogues... except for Jason lol) have to work together to figure out how to fix the timeline. The problem being their current states make that task much harder than it'd usually be, especially with their current history with each other, even despite their memories returning. So there's a whole slew of issues, not just internal, but with each other and dealing with heroes. And they have... very complicated histories with each other.

I'll explain a few of them under the cut :)

Dick Grayson aka Two-Face

What differs in this AU is that Dick is, of course, never taken in by Bruce and is instead passed around from abusive foster home to abusive foster home in Gotham. Thanks to a mix of the circus having been not a safe place and the abuse he endures in foster care, Dick develops DID, BPD and OCD from the trauma. He grows up with a close friend in Jason Todd, and while they separate for a while (Jason going to train to become Batman, Dick going into law school), they come back together as adults.

Dick becomes a lawyer because Tony Zucco had used legal loopholes to get out of facing the consequences of murdering the Flying Graysons, and Dick fully intended on trying to fix the legal system in some way and to try to prevent something like that from happening to others. At some point, Dick ends up having 2 sons, Jake and Thomas, who are 8 and 3 respectively when Dick eventually becomes Two-Face.

Since he's very close to Jason, he's actually aware that Jason is Batman. When Dick gets more unsatisfied with the justice system, he joins Jason in crime fighting as the vigilante Robin. Unbeknownst to both of them, Two-Face (not yet called that, but i haven't thought of a name yet lol) is not only unsatisfied with the justice system, but also how Jason and Dick fight crime. (Two-Face believes in the anti-hero kind of lethal justice. No, he's not 'evil')

One day, I imagine something happens and Dick, in his civilian form, tries to defend someone from someone else, but the fight results in the attacker slamming a glass container full of acid into Dicks face. This is obviously deeply traumatizing, and not only that, it solidifies Two-Faces belief that vigilantes should adopt a more lethal form of justice.

This is, obviously, how they become Two-Face :) they're deemed too mentally unstable to care for their two sons, so Jason is the person who takes them in and cares for them.

Jason Todd aka Batman

Honestly, I haven't considered exactly how he gets the idea of becoming Batman, but I'm considering that the catalyst is similar; he witnesses his father's murder. Essentially Willis got on the bad side of some mob boss and gets killed in front of Jason and Catherine. Eventually, after that, Catherine succumbs to a drug overdose.

Jason grows up close to Dick, with them supporting each other throughout their childhoods and helping each other escape foster care. Eventually Jason comes under the care of Oswald Cobblepot (who is the surprisingly kind but tough CEO of Cobblepot Industries) after attempting to steal the CEOs tires. Through him, he gets into training, and he supports Dicks lawyer endeavors financially.

After he comes back from all of his training, he refamiliarizes himself with Gotham and then becomes Batman. There's a lot of stuff he's way more lax about than Bruce is, like killing or temporarily working with criminals if it yields better results, but he still has his limits.

Jason also has his own Robins, but his relationship with them is far more healthy.

Tim Drake aka The Joker

Tim wasn't actually all that unique prior to becoming the Joker. He grew up in and out of boarding school with somewhat absent parents, in a middle class then upper class household. Tim became a photographer and journalist as an adult.

How he became the Joker is simple: he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Because of who he was, he was framed, and dropped into a vat of acid.

What came out just... isn't Tim Drake anymore.

Misc.

This is essentially what I have for the others that I haven't fully figured out yet:

-Duke becomes Mr. Freeze not long after his parents are hit by a lethal form of Joker Venom. He keeps them frozen so that they stay alive while he tries to search for a cure.

-Barbara becomes the Riddler not long after Jim Gordon dies. There's a bunch of stuff that causes her to go villain mode, but her father dying is the catalyst, or the straw that broke the camels back so to speak.

-Damian is not centuries old like Ra's is, but he is on the older side (50s? Maybe older?). Really, a lot of characters are aged up lol. He is still related to Bruce and Talia. He has kids too! William (<- placeholder name, I'm having trouble naming him, I might give him a name that reflects his heritage. He's gone through several iterations already LOL) Todd is his grandson.

-Edward Nygma works under Lucius Fox and helps make things for Jason! He also totally makes escape rooms on the side. Cringefail malewife vibes, as he should always have

-Harvey Dent has a role similar to commissioner Gordon, though I'm debating if he's actually a police commissioner or a Private Investigator.

-James Gordon Jr. Is Seer, and i imagine part of the reason he became a vigilante was to prove people's assumptions of him wrong. He's physically disabled (not sure how yet, but he uses forearm crutches) and is diagnosed with ASPD. He works as a hero both in the streets and behind a screen. I'm not sure yet what kind of day job he has tbh.

[sp00ky-scary]

Wooo Riddler design (I spent 8 hours of my life on this)

I'm working on a DC AU and Riddler is my favourite character (I'm hyperfixating on him, he consumes all my thoughts) so I drew a design for him. Design rant time!!!

Edward Nygma worked at the GCPD in cybercrimes (I dunno shit about the police so I'm not gonna elaborate on his exact job). Whilst at the GCPD he treated his job more like a challenge, he didn't want to do good or anything he just needed something to do plus working at the GCPD provided him resources to "pursue his hobbies" (commit crimes, he was basically just a freelance hacker before becoming the Riddler). Eventually he quit/got fired (it's complicated) and his need for a challenge and something to do basically lead to him taking up the Riddler persona and taunting Batman. (Originally his identity was a secret before ya know he got caught and thrown into Arkham for the first time. I do have a design of his initial Riddler outfit but his main Riddler outfit is cooler). Also to note he's not from Gotham he ran away from home and ended up in Gotham, where he attended University before working at the GCPD.

Actual design notes: His hair is dyed it's naturally dark brown, he's blind as fuck and somehow his Riddler glasses are prescription. I didn't include purple in his outfit because purple and green is a nightmare colour scheme, plus the Joker has that colour scheme so I wanted to separate the two a little more. He's autistic and has OCD, as well as some childhood trauma sprinkled in there. He's an overly confident, self absorbed, smug, asshole, yet also experiences a deep self hatred and has no sense of self preservation. He doesn't know when to shut up yet is initially charming and has a habit of speaking in riddles and telling seemingly useless facts and has an obsession with the colour green. He's physically kinda weak, not great at fighting unless he uses his cane, and he has asthma. His crimes often involve heists, robberies, puzzles and explosives, and the occasional hostage, he doesn't really kill people though, that's not his thing. And as is canon in like every version he leaves riddles and clues at the crime scene which is partially a result of his OCD. Oh and he's trans (FtM) and bisexual, I'm toying with the idea of him and the Penguin having some kinda relationship. Also he's besties with his henchwomen Query and Echo, as well as the Sirens. Most of the rogues both get along with him but also think he's an annoying asshole, something he and Harley bond over.

[just-an-enby-lemon]

My Riddler casting criteria is Game Show Host Vibes and that's why Paul Dano just is an odd choice for me (even ignoring all the other problems I have with his Riddler -being the fact that he would work more as a bunch of other Rogues the only thing that I don't enjoy in The Batman).

[funkylilgaycriminal]

Historically, that is one of the worst things you could let a Riddler do. HOWEVER-

Idk what The Riddler's deal is, but they should let him host a game show. He's dramatic, has the material, makes some good challenges, and maybe it'll keep him preoccupied from killing anyone

[acapelladitty]

When The Lights Go Out: Riddler

Summary: Richard Madison is a crook but a strange encounter with a man calling himself Edward Nygma may prove to be his undoing.

Part 1: When The Lights Go Out: Scarecrow

AO3 Link ☆ Fic Masterlist

The miraculous release of Walter Johnstone from his asylum incarceration was not the only odd thing to have occurred in Gotham that day. Nor would it be the last.

It was certainly a day that Richard Madison was never likely to forget.

If you asked the average person to describe Richard Madison they would have a host of phrases ready to spring forth in his praise. As sweet as sugar, one might claim. Honest as they come, another would cry. A good man with a good heart. However, there were those who saw another side to the man and those individuals would quietly lament his misdeeds and misgivings.

Both opinions are entirely valid to their holders, as all opinions are, however those who believed in him were only witness to the facade which he presented to the world.

To put it simply, Richard Madison was a crook.

Oh, how people loved being around Richard. They whispered promises in his ears, slipped offerings into his pockets, and overall doted on him in exchange for the opportunity to engage. To have their needs met.

And he was never a man to deny the people their needs.

When it suited him.

Emerging from the elevator to his private office, his shoulder clicked as he stretched his arms before him to prepare for the next few hours of sitting at his computer and running his small empire from the comfort of his favourite chair.

However, an unexpected sight stopped him dead in his tracks.

Standing in his office as though he belonged there, lounged a suited man. His body was on the thinner side and even from this distance Richard could tell that the bottle green suit, expertly styled as it cinched his frame, was cut from expensive cloth. Boyish features shone from a face which could not have been a day over forty and his appearance was made all the more striking by the shock of flame red hair which sat atop his head, mostly covered by a lurid green bowler hat which perfectly matched the shade of his suit.

“Richard Madison!” The man exclaimed in a showman voice, his excitement radiating from him in waves. “In the flesh! The man of the hour!”

Reaching out as he approached Richard’s stunned position, he gripped his hand in a firm grasp before shaking with an almost comedic level of effort. His arm swinging up and down in the grasp of the madman, Richard politely let go before hiding his hand within his pocket to prevent any further touching.

“Who are you?” Richard asked. This was his private office and absolutely no one got in here without first jumping through a series of hoops designed to keep out any 'undesirables'. “And what the hell are you doing here?” He allowed his shock to manifest as anger as he roared at the red-haired man.

“Lovely office,” throwing an arm out with great flourish, the man ignored the open aggression to gesture wildly around the room, “you must tell me who your decorator is.”

The stark minimalism of his office stared back at him as Richard's eyes swept the room. His room was boring, intentionally designed as such, so was he joking?

“Look, buddy, I don't thin-” cutting himself off, Richard clenched and unclenched his fist as he repeated his earlier question. “Who are hell are you?!”

“My name is Edward Nygma.” Flashing a smile, Edward dropped his head in a dramatic nod and allowed the green bowler hat to topple from his scalp and into his waiting hands before tucking it below his arm. “It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Madison. May I call you Richard?”

Now exposed, his red hair was perfectly coiffed into an old-fashioned style which felt very out of place in the modern office.

“I suppose.”

“What about Dick?”

Pursing his lips as his eyes narrowed, Richard was unable to tell if this man was mocking him or his earnest manner was genuine.

“I usually insist on Richard.”

“Then feel free to call me Edward.” Edward answered. “And to answer your earlier question, I am here to make you an offer which I know you will be unable to resist. We are both men of knowledge and money, so I know that you will want to hear what I have to say.”

“I’m not a trader.” Richard spat back, the surreal nature of this meeting making his aggression feel more performative that anything. “If you want me to invest in some shit you’re cooking up then go to Wall Street and pitch to the sons of bitches there.”

“Oh, I met the fools at Wall Street. Quite a long time ago.” Smirking as lips curled into a smile, Edward flashed his white teeth. “I gave them all the clues and all the opportunities to be honest men and they chose to ignore me. And then? Can you believe it? BANG!”

At this, Richard jumped in place as Edward smacked his hand against his thigh with some force.

“It all came crashing down. The Wall Street Crash, they called it. More than a few brains came to decorate the nearby paving after that, but they can't say they hadn't been warned. I gave them every chance.”

He's definitely mad, Richard thought. Edward did not look a day over forty and yet he had the gall to claim that he was present for the Wall Street collapse in the 30's?

“Talking like that will get you locked up in Arkham.” Richard warned.

“Oh no,” Edward exclaimed, “oh no, no, no! That would never do! I am far too intelligent for that and besides,” leaning in close as though divulging some information that only he was privy to, the green of Edward’s eyes twinkled madly for a moment, “an old friend has already made himself comfortable in those harrowed halls. It would be rude for me intrude on his delicate work.”

“You have connections in Arkham?” Such things were not unheard of and Richard himself had at least one guard on his payroll to ensure that the odd piece of information here and there fell into his hands. “Staff or guests?” He added.

“Staff today could be guests tomorrow and vice-versa. Let's not judge people based on their current position, particularly when that position is fragile at best. Fantastic things are afoot in Gotham right beneath your nose,” Edward insisted, “and my associates and I are here to see what she has to offer. So much filth and rot and chaos all wrapped in a pretty package of gothic architecture and urban landscaping.”

“Associates?”

“Oh, don't you worry, Richard. You are very unlikely to ever meet them as we tend to stick to our roles somewhat rigidly.”

“I need to make a phone call.” Richard interjected quickly. “Excuse me.”

Quickly retreating back to the doors of the elevator, Richard snatched his mobile from his suit pocket and quickly hit one of the numbers on his speed dial. This man, Edward, seemed to have decent connections and money to his name but he wanted to be sure before moving any further.

To his luck, his secretary picked up after only two rings.

“Hello, Richard Madison’s office. How may I direct your call?” Came a feminine droll from the other end of the line.

“Hey, Sam.” Relieved to hear a familiar voice, Richard continued. “Need you to run a quick background check for me.”

“Sure, boss.”

“Claims his name is 'Edward Nygma'. Never heard of him before but he looks like he has some decent coin behind him.”

“Okay. And where is he currently?”

“Standing inside my office.”

An audible hitch of breath.

“Okay, boss.”

Immediately on to business, Richard could hear the frantic tapping of her keyboard as she sought out the information he needed.

“The name is coming up here, boss.” As though reading from a script, Sam listed off her findings. “Edward Nygma. Business owner and entrepreneur. Apparently considered rather handsome. Worth…”

A pause.

“What?” Richard asked.

“Billions. Christ, he could put Wayne outta business. He’s absolutely loaded.”

“Billions! How have we not heard his name before?”

“He's a noted recluse. Very little personal details available here. All I can see is that his net worth is mind-blowing but the only thing he has name officially to is a production line of different types of toys.”

“Child toys?”

“Puzzle toys. For all ages and ranges.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. It’s not a lot to go on but it’s definitely there. Good source too. He's legit.”

Hanging up with a shaking finger, Richard could smell opportunity like a shark could blood. A noted recluse worth billions, right here in his office. He could take advantage of this in a way which he and all others had been unable to do so with Bruce Wayne; a man so wrapped up in his holier-than-thou attitude that he refused to engage in any business which would dirty his hands.

Richard hated him.

Taking a deep breath, he dropped his phone back into his pocket and started to move back towards Edward. He had not moved an inch since Richard had disappeared, but his attention was wholly focused on something which was clutched between his hands. As he approached, the flash of the brightly-coloured item in Edward's palm also drew Richard's attention and he squinted as though a sharp light had accosted him.

“What's in your hands?”

Rolling the offending object between his fingers with a practised ease, Edward brought it into the space between them.

“This?” He asked. “A curious little thing. I am very fond of puzzles and I haven't seen anything quite like this before.”

Recognising the piece, Richard squinted once again.

“A rubix's cube?” He asked, incredulous.

Who is their right mind had never seen a Rubix cube before?

“Rubix cube.” Edward repeated with a look of contemplation. “After the man who created it?”

“I guess.” Confused as to what exact relevance the puzzle held to the current discussion, Richard gestured vaguely with his hands. “I don't know what this has to do with-”

“Oh, of course! Of course!” Exclaiming loudly, Edward slapped a hand good-naturedly on his knee as he smiled. “Excuse my ramblings but you must forgive an old man his pleasures.”

“Would you like a drink?”

“Watered down whisky doesn’t agree with me, Dick,” Edward declined. “And I would think a man like yourself would want to watch his health. The liver can be a tricky old thing, especially six years down the line.”

“So, what can I do for you, Mr. Nygma? I doubt this is a social call since we don’t, uh, know each other.”

“I have an opportunity which you would be a damned fool to pass up on. A new line of puzzle and magic toys, fabricated and distributed across Gotham and her sister cities.”

With Edward waving his hand around, Richard was able to catch a glimpse of his watch and found himself momentarily stunned by the beautiful timepiece and the various gemstones which were embedded within.

“Toys? Just toys? Surely we cou-”

“I have meetings today with others, including a meeting with a very interesting man named Wayne who seems to have taken a liking to my products,” Edward grinned.

Richard’s chest clenched with anger at the familiar name and he immediately backpeddled on his scepticism, “That won’t be necessary. I would love to enter into a business deal with you, Mr. Nygma. I hear you have quite the reputation.”

“I’m certain I do,” Edward replied, “and I would like to bring you onboard before I return to my other duties. $10 million would suffice as a minor investment, one which would see major returns.”

Wincing at the amount but desperate to keep the vaguely gullible and eccentric billionaire within his grasp, greed already blinding his thoughts as he imagines various ways of involving the fool with his less pleasant ventures, Richard nodded at the proposed amount.

The conversation flowed smoothly after that, discussions of timescales and proposed returns forcing Richard into the belief that he was making a smart choice. His mind focused despite the whirling nature of Edward’s demeanour; Richard felt the thrill of his greed thrumming in his veins as he catered to his latest potential cash cow.

“So, do we have a deal, Dick?”

Extending his hand with a showman smile, Edward allowed it to hang in the air between them with a sense of finality.

Willing to ignore the nickname this one time, Richard nodded once more and accepted the handshake before dropping his hand to his inner pocket. Mobile phone in hand, it took Richard less than five minutes to have the investment money wired over to Edward’s accounts – ensuring that he retained a firm copy of all Edward’s account details should anything go awry with their deal.

“This account is one of my more selective accounts and I would appreciate its use being kept on the quieter side of things. I am sure you understand,” Richard muttered with a put-on smile.

“Of course, of course! My lips are sealed.” Edward winked, placing his bowler hat atop his head with a dramatic flourish. “A silent account for a silent partner.”

His smirk actually blossoming into a genuine smile, Richard took the initiative to end their meeting.

“A pleasure, Mr Nygma. I hope to work with you again.”

Tilting his head with a wicked smirk of his own, Edward answered in kind.

“I’m sure you’ll think of our partnership often.”

x-x-x-x-x

Stepping into the familiar office of Salvatore Maroni, Richard inclined his head to the goons who remained on guard as he joined both the owner of the office and their mutual friend, Daniel Mockingbird, by taking a seat on the only available chair.

“Evening, boys. Pour me a decent one, eh, Sal?” Richard asked, inclining his empty whisky glass to Maroni. A glass which was quickly filled with amber liquid as the man in question poured him a healthy slosh of scotch.

“You’re chipy as fuck today, Richard. Balls finally drop?” Mockingbird cut in, his thick Italian accent glossing over the words with ease.

“Funny,” Richard deadpanned as he sank a gulp of the scotch, “but anyway, how has your week been gentlemen?”

“Great, I got me a new business partner and I think he’s going to be one for the books, boys,” sipping from his own glass, Maroni appeared pleased with himself as he divulged his luck to the other two.

Surprised, given his own unmade announcement, Richard inclined his hand to Maroni as he indicated for him to continue.

“Yeah, some fucking freak. Came here to ask me to partner on an investment deal for some shitty kids toys and-”

“Bullshit!” Mockingbird called out, surprising both men at the outburst. “You met with Nygma too?”

Open shock playing on his face as he watched the two speak, Richard dropped his hands to his lap as his head darted between the two like a tennis match.

“Yeah. Showed up here asking for $10 million.” Maroni confirmed.

“Fuck! Same from me.”

“Same, huh? For the toy business?”

“Yeah, for the fucking toy business. He didn’t say nothing about having other partners.” Running a hand through his slickened hair, Mockingbird was clearly unimpressed with the fact that his great deal had not been as exclusive as he thought. “Jesus Christ man, $20 million from us both. Sneaky fuc-”

“$30 million,” Richard intercut with a frown. “I also received a visitor yesterday.”

Genuinely speechless, all three men grumbled their discontent into their glasses as they observed the others with open suspicion. Their friendship was tenuous, agreements always being settled under the table to ensure that the dirt they could hold over each other was limited, and an event like this would only breed discontent.

Unable to muse for too long as his phone started vibrating madly in his pocket, Richard pulled it free with a gruff greeting as he pressed it against his ear.

“Mr. Madison, we have a problem.”

Sam. Sounding thoroughly distraught as her voice stuttered across the words.

“What is it?” Richard asked, a sinking feeling dropping his chest into his stomach.

“It’s gone, Sir. Everything. All the money from the secret account.”

His heart stuttering at the information, Richard barely noticed when both Maroni and Mockingbird picked up their own ringing mobiles.

“What the fuck do you mean it’s gone?”

“The account is empty, Sir. The $10 million transferred through to the Nygma account but the rest has disappeared. It’s gone, Sir.”

“No, no-NO!” Richard snapped, snarling his words down the phone. “You find me that money, Sam. Find it and get it back. Hunt down that fuck Nygma if you need to because I think he has something to do with it.”

Slamming his phone shut, his heart pounding in his ears as his blood pressure reached new levels, Richard zoned back into his companions to find that all hell had broken loose across both men. Maroni’s face was a stunning shade of puce as he screamed insults into his mobile while Mockingbird was speaking in Italian at record speed, his expression equally as angry.

Allowing both men the time to finish their phone calls as they went through a similar disbelieving anger to himself, Richard understood without a doubt that they had all been swindled in a similar fashion.

“What the fuck is happening?” Mockingbird hissed, throwing his glass to the floor as the scotch splashed across the carpet. “One of my private accounts has been tanked! Gutted! Fucking robbed!”

Maroni pulled his lips back into a snarl, “Same here! Fuck! The account I used yesterday. That sneaky fuck Nygma is behind this and I’m going to find him, boys.”

“Pull our resources! I’m going to kill that red-haired fuck.” Richard added with a roar.

“Red hair?” Mockingbird face was confused despite the rage, “You mean black hair? Short little fucker too, only about 5ft? Weasley as fuck.”

“What?” Squinting, Richard shook his head. “No. He was wiry with red hair, probably about my height and thin as an addicts piss. Sal?”

His voice so low that both men struggled to pick up on his exact words, Maroni growled his own description.

“Brown hair. Slicked back. Slight build on him. Had a stupid cane with him. I even got the bastard on record.”

Snatching out a voice recorder from a nearby desk drawer, Maroni fiddled with it before clicking play on the recorder as all three men stared at it with narrowed eyes.

“-an excellent choice, Mr Maroni! I admire your taste in being able to pick up on a good deal when it comes your way. So, let’s get down to business and I can be on my way. Shall we say around $10 million as an investment? With that I cou-”

His heart racing at the familiar voice, Richard saw a similar look of rage on Mockingbirds’ face as he listened to the recording.

“That’s him!” Mockingbird grunted, his fists clenched against his lap. “That’s the smart-mouthed cunt.”

“How the fuck can that be the same man we all met?” Richard asked reasonably, rage giving way to confusion. “Sure, he could wear a wig or change his clothes, but his height? He wasn’t a fucking magician. This shouldn’t be a fucking riddle. How much did he take from you?”

Directing the question to both men, the grave looks he received in response no doubt mirrored his own. If their loss was as great as his own then they were looking at an easy collective loss of over a hundred million. A hundred million dollars, gone in a puff of smoke.

All dirty.

All untraceable.

As it was designed to be.

It was a perfect theft.

“Play the bastards voice again, Sal.” Mockingbird hissed. “I want it committed to memory so I can remember to have his tongue ripped out when we catch the prick.”

Thick fingers pressing the play button of the audio recorder, Maroni startled in place as the casual conversation which had previously been loaded on the device was replaced by a loud, cackling laughter – the rising cacophony of Edward’s mirth making all three men shiver in place as something dark curled around the joyful sound and rattled them to their cores.

Richard Madison was a crook, but he was no fool, and, as Mockingbird fixed himself with the sign of the cross, Richard could not shake the furious anxiety which seared in his chest as he realised that something evil had held counsel with him in his office yesterday and that his money was gone somewhere he did not dare to follow.

[adhdnursegoat]

Zero Year

cw: lap sitting, heavy petting, erections, grinding

word count: 1.3k

The living room and your faces are cast in eerie shadows from the flickering light of the television screen. Edward, ever the smug host, lounges comfortably on the couch, his self-satisfied grin practically glowing. The slasher film he’s chosen plays out in a series of jumpscares, blood-curdling screams, and gratuitous stomach-churning gore. You, on the other hand, are seated on the edge of the couch, tense and visibly uncomfortable.

Edward glances over at you, and you so terribly wish to smack that haughty, amused smirk off his face. You try to focus on the movie, but every scream and sudden movement on screen makes you flinch, your anxiety increasing with each passing moment. The horror is compounded by his smug presence beside you. He’s a fucking horror in himself, you grumble internally.

Another particularly frightening scene makes you yelp, and you instinctively lurch to your side, practically clamoring into Edward's lap, arms around his neck. Your body stiffens for a moment, and then you let out a frustrated groan. Your brows knit and eyes narrow at him, seething. “Why the fuck would you pick something like this?”

He chuckles, his fingers lazily brushing your hips before he shifts you into a more comfortable, sideways position on his lap. “It was the quickest way to get you on my dick.”

You glare at him, but your irritation falters as you feel the heat of his body against yours. His lap, surprisingly comfortable, offers a strange solace against the cold fear that lingers. “You’re such a sleazeball, Nygma,” you grumble, but the venom in your words is half-hearted, further betrayed by the way you don’t immediately move away. Instead, you adjust, subtly shifting against him to get cozier.

“Oh, come on,” he purrs, his voice low and teasing. Edward’s grin widens as he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you even closer. His breath is warm against your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. “Admit it. You’re enjoying this. I’ve managed to corner you in a way that’s both amusing and advantageous.”

You huff, trying your hardest to suppress the small smile tugging at your lips. “Enjoying this? More like enduring it,” you mutter, though it’s clear from your relaxed posture, the way your arms tighten around his neck, and the way you lean into him that you’re not quite as upset as you’re pretending to be.

Edward's fingers lightly trail along your hip, a teasing touch that only serves to make you more aware of how close you are. “Just think of it as bonding,” he says with a smirk. “After all, there’s nothing like a little shared terror to bring people closer.”

Despite your best efforts to stay annoyed, you find yourself chuckling softly, the tension melting away as you settle into his embrace. "Why would I want to be closer to you?" you ask, though your fingers are already winding into the soft red strands at the nape of his neck, tugging lightly as if daring him to challenge you. The groan you are rewarded makes you smirk, eyes narrowing as his fluttering ones. "You're a mangy, sneaky, cheeky bastard."

Edward’s low, satisfied laugh rumbles through his chest, the sound vibrating against your body where you’re pressed against him. His grip tightens, teasing and testing your boundaries. "Maybe so," he murmurs, his voice dropping into that familiar, velvety purr that always sets your pulse racing, "but I think you’re starting to see the perks of my little scheme."

As the movie continues to play, its horrifying scenes barely registering, your attention shifts entirely to Edward.

Looping an arm around your torso to hold you close, his free hand moves with intent, tracing the contours of your hips and the curve of your ass. You can feel his heat through the fabric of your skirt, each caress appreciative. His fingers, lingering and smoothing down your thigh with slow, deliberate exploration, make you shiver in delight. He takes his time, letting his palm slide back up your leg, pushing the hem of your skirt with it.

Edward's movements are measured, his brow furrowing in concentration, his lips parting in silent admiration of the way his hand traces over the smooth curves of your body. His gaze follows every inch of skin his fingers reveal before biting his lower lip as his palm slides over the supple flesh of your ass. A low, appreciative hum rumbles, the sound vibrating through his chest as he pats your cheek before giving it a firm, possessive squeeze and a little jiggle.

“Mmmm, fuck,” Edward growls under his breath, his voice thick with a raw desire that sends a jolt through you. His eyes darken, their usual sharpness clouded by the sight of you in his hands, and you can feel the hunger radiating off him in waves. His grip on your ass tightens possessively, his fingers pressing into your flesh like he owns you, and the way his gaze devours every inch of you makes the heat between your legs burn hotter.

You bite your lip, the corner of your mouth curling into a wicked smile as you meet his gaze. His focus has shifted entirely to you now, the movie long forgotten. You revel in it, in how utterly entranced he is. “Okay, I’m picking the next movie,” you tease, your voice dripping with playful defiance as you arch your chest toward him, deliberately pressing yourself harder into his lap. The friction is intoxicating, the pressure between your bodies lighting a fire that neither of you are eager to put out.

His gaze drops to your breasts, shameless and full of appreciation. He doesn’t hide it, doesn’t bother pretending he’s focused on anything other than the curve of your body and the way you make him feel. That boldness, the sheer hunger in his expression, sends a heady rush through you. You revel in it, in how utterly captivated he is by you. He’s always been so controlled, so calculated, but here—now—he’s completely undone by you.

With a smirk, you slip two fingers beneath his chin, tipping his head up so he has no choice but to meet your eyes. His pupils are blown wide, his usually bright green eyes darkened by lust, and the dazed, needy look on his face sends your heart racing. You’ve got him exactly where you want him—under your spell—and that intoxicating sense of control, of having him so utterly captivated, makes your blood sing.

“And don’t think you’re getting off that easy,” you murmur, your voice low and teasing as you lean in closer, your breath brushing his lips. His eyes flicker with anticipation, but you hold him just on the edge, not quite giving him what he wants. The tension is thick between you, simmering with the promise of what’s to come. “I’ll make you sit through Barbie or Moulin Rouge next.” You grin, a playful challenge in your tone, knowing full well the torment you’re about to unleash on him.

Edward’s smirk widens, and a deep, satisfied chuckle rumbles from his chest, the sound vibrating through your body where you’re pressed against him. He pulls you down more, the movement slow and deliberate, and you can’t stop the gasp that escapes your lips when you feel his erection pressing against you through his trousers.

"Oh, babygirl," he purrs, his voice a velvety drawl that makes your stomach flutter. “The way things are going...”

The heat of him beneath your thighs sends a wave of desire surging through you, and your body reacts on instinct, your breath quickening as you shift in his lap to grind against him. His eyes glint in the flashes of the horror movie playing out behind you. The corner of his mouth curls into a smug, wicked grin as his hand shifts to your inner thigh, dangerously close to the heat pooling between your legs.

“I think we’ll both get off plenty easy.”

[sardonic-the-writer]

───── ❝ multifandom masterlist ❞ ─────

supernatural drabbles -> link

(requests closed: dean, sam, castiel, gabriel, crowley, lucifer)

gorillaz drabbles -> link

(requests closed: murdoc, 2D, noodle, russel)

the umbrella academy drabbles -> link

(requests closed: luther, diego, allison, klaus, five, ben, viktor)

the outsiders drabbles -> link

(requests closed: dallas winston, two-bit matthews, sodapop curtis, ponyboy curtis, darey curtis, johnny cade)

xmen drabbles -> link

(requests closed: charles xavier, erik lehnsherr, peter maximoff, nightcrawler, hank mcoy, logan howlett, marie lebeau, raven)

the boys drabbles -> link

(requests closed: butcher, hughie, soldier boy, frenchie, kimiko, mothers milk, starlight, homelander)

ghostbusters drabbles -> link

(requests closed: lars pinfield, egon spengler, winston zeddemore, peter venkman, dana barrymore, ray stanz)

tf2 drabbles -> link

(requests closed: scout, spy, sniper, medic, heavy, demoman, soldier, pyro, engineer, saxton hale, miss pauling)

total drama drabbles -> link

(requests closed: mike, mal, manitoba, vito, svetlana, zoey, alejandro, duncan, gwen, heather, cody)

the walking dead drabbles -> link

(requests closed: daryl, glenn, rick, michonne)

community drabbles -> link

(requests closed: abed, troy, ian duncan)

gotham drabbles -> link

(requests closed: edward nygma/the riddler)

tmmt drabbles -> link

(requests closed: rottmnt, 2012 tmnt, bayverse turtles, donnie, leo, mikey, raph, casey, april)

dc drabbles -> link

(requests closed: battinson, dano!riddler, cillian!jonathan crane, catwoman)

doctor who drabbles -> link

(requests closed: the tenth doctor, rose)

hazbin hotel drabbles -> link

(requests closed: alastor)

good omens drabbles -> link

(requests closed: crowley, azriaphale)

spiderverse drabbles -> link

(requests closed: miguel, hobie, miles, gwen, pavitr)

buzzfeed unsolved/watcher drabbles -> link

(requests closed: shane, ryan, cc. tinsley, ricky goldsworth)

slimecicle cinematic universe drabbles -> link

(requests closed: charlie, jschlatt, tommy/zommy, the bachelor (wilbur), the bachelor of blood (quackity), florida man, mad scientist, ronald, and the wizard)

chuckle sandwich drabbles -> link

(requests closed: jschlatt, charlie slimecicle, ted nivison)

dsmp/mcyt drabbles -> link

(requests: closed: see list of people i write for in pinned post)

daredevil drabbles -> link

(requests closed: matt murdock, foggy nelson, karen page, frank castle)

the mandalorian drabbles -> link

(requests closed: din darjin/the mandalorian)

potc drabbles -> link

(requests closed: jack sparrow, william turner, elizabeth swann)

bullet train drabbles -> link

(requests closed: tangerine, lemon, ladybug, maria, carver, the prince, the hornet)

suicide squad one & two drabbles -> link

(requests closed: harley quinn, captian boomerang, katana, june moon, the enchantress, the joker, el diablo, cleo cazo, abner krill)

breaking bad drabbles -> link

(requests closed: jesse, badger, skinny pete, jane, saul, gus)

better call saul drabbles -> link

(requests closed: lalo, nacho, saul/jimmy, domingo/krazy 8, howard, gus)

what we do in the shadows drabbles -> link

(requests closed: guillermo, laszlo, nadja, nandor)

star wars drabbles -> link

(requests closed: obi wan kenobi, ashoka, anakin skywalker, padame, lea skywalker, luke skywalker, han solo)

markiplier drabbles -> link

(requests closed: markiplier, darkiplier, wilford, yancy, actor, night, google, host, engineer, pornipliers, damien, eric)

jacksepticeye drabbles -> link

(requests closed: jacksepticeye, anti, henrik, marvin, chase, jj, robbie, greg)

sally face drabbles -> link

(requests closed: sal, larry, ash)

★ > ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ < ★

[diddle-riddle]

Dark Night

[Warning for potentially triggering themes: - implied / referenced rape / non con (NOT between Bruce and Ed) - teen pregnancy - Alpha / Beta / Omega dynamics - An overall very creepy atmosphere in that one. I know I tend to be more of a fluff writer (especially in my short fics), but I also try other tones / settings.]

.............. ..............

Alone a freezing night in a shady district of Gotham City, wrapped in a worn out trenchcoat that once belonged to a scarecrow, Eddie Nygma is crying.

Sobbing. Salty water runs down his cheeks, his mint green eyes cloud with tears, a sour taste clogs his mouth, his throat dries, his hiccups rock his frame as strongly as if someone gripped his shoulders and shook his frail body. He is damaged. Sad. Angry at the world for the way it treats him.

His Omega biology has always been a burden he hauls behind him. His whole life, it brought nothing but abuse. Fifteen years of constant pain and repeated humiliations. From his family, from classmates at school, from random citizens he encounters since he moved to Gotham, from people he thought he could trust. From the person he thought he could... love...

Thinking about Jonathan exacerbated his fury. Crane dumped him many months ago, he should be over it... Yet the recent mess with Arthur Brown awoke older insecurities. While nothing near an intelligent or sympathetic fellow, Arthur had been supportive enough to host him under his roof when he most needed it. That is, until the man took more from him than he should have and Eddie ran away... then realized he kept a 'souvenir'.

The waves of hormones triggered by his teen pregnancy don't help when he meets thirsty clients in seedy places. Even though Omegas don't go into heats over the nine months they carry a life, then a couple of weeks post-delivery while they breastfeed, their spiced, pronounced pregnant scent often suffices to arouse Alphas as efficaciously as mating cycles. It was not a client but a colleague from the smuggling ring that couldn't keep her hands to herself tonight. The female Alpha cornered the younger male Omega after he fulfilled his drug dealer activity in the sordid network he joined. This pays and it's an evolution compared to selling his body to greedy Alphas during heats like he did previously... until it reached its breakage point and another Alpha acted again like a monster.

Edward locked the door of his minuscule studio behind him. It's a miracle in itself he obtained this undeclared lease agreement. Comprehensive, the male Beta who owns this apartment complex isn't regarding of the age or social status of those who rent his dingy flats.

He went straight for a shower. Cold: he can't afford hot water all month, but it's better than nothing. He appears clean on the outside whereas he feels so dirty, soiled on the inside.

What happened?

Crying in a lane, he lost consciousness, likely passed out from the pain and exhaustion. Then... the sensation of something sliding inside him, punctuated by a white noise in his head...

He blames this on the pregnancy and how critically it disturbs his hormonal cycle.

Among others, it pushed in him the poisonous refrain of 'I must find an Alpha to assist me, to provide for me, to help me raise my baby, to be the father of my future litters...'

The ginger felt a sudden warmth on his four-month-old baby bump, as if a gentle hand applied against the slightly distended belly and stroked the soft skin.

"You don't need an Alpha. I will protect you," a low, rocky voice assured.

Edward startled, he frantically looked around in the cramped bathroom...

"Worry not, little one. I've been watching you. I know you. I can take care of you. Of both of you. And if you want, I'll help you take your revenge on those who hurt you or dared to raise a hand on you. After all... I always had a soft spot for lost children and broken things."

In the mirror, Ed finally saw the creature, half-way through a black bat and a giant snake, whose neck is... attached to his left shoulder.

Eddie fainted at the sight, under the Bat's skeptical glance. How rude of his new host, not to greet him properly.

.................

Read “Dark Night” on AO3 here Discover the rest of the DC Symbiotes Series on AO3 here

[lolawritesfanfic]

Masterlist

writing styles:

oneshot-💌

angst-💥

fluff-🎀

lemon/smut-🍋

drabble-💝

story-❤️

Yandere-🔪

Yandere Boys:

-Peter YB

❤️🎀🔪-Peter is jealous of Duke TK thinking TK and the princess reader are dating.

🔪-Prince Peter x Female Princess Reader- The reader is forced into an arranged marriage with Peter they aren't happy with it, Neither is Peter until they see the reader and see it as love at first sight and starts becoming yandere for them and will stop at nothing to have them even killing their bloodline so they have to get married sooner and becoming King not just of the kingdom but of them too.

🎀-Prince Peter x Princess Reader-Peter finds the reader crying in the garden, the princess doesn't know why she's crying but mostly thinks she's not good enough and peter comforting.

🔪💌-Prince Peter Blackmailing Princess's reader's family to get her to marry him.

💌💝🔪-4 suitors (Peter YB, John Doe, SunnyDay Jack, Alan Orion) fighting to win over the princess's heart.

-John Doe

-SunnyDay Jack

-Alan Orion

-Tate Frost

-Delivery Guy

-Damon

Supernatural:

-Dean Winchester

-Sam Winchester

-Castiel

-Crowley

-Gabriel

-Chuck (God)

Marvel:

-Steve Rogers

-Tony Stark

-Thor Odinson

-Loki Laufeyson

DC Comics:

-Batman

-Joker (Nickels, Ledger, Leto, Joaquin)

-Penguin

-Harley Quinn

-Catwoman

-Bane

Gotham Tv show:

-Alfred Pennyworth

-Bruce Wayne

-Jim Gordon

-Harvey Bullock

-Victor Zsasz

-Oswald Cobblepot

-Edward Nygma

-Carmine Falcone

-Salvatore Maroni

-Fish Mooney

-Butch Gilzean

Ouran High School Host Club:

-Tamaki Suoh

-Kyoya Ootori

-Hikaru Hitachiin

-Karuo Hitachiin

-Hikaru and Karuo Hitachiin

-Takashi Morinozuka

-Mitsukini Huninozuka

-Haruhi Fujioka

-Basanova

-Nekozawa

-Renge Houshakuji

Horror Slashers:

-Micheal Myers

-Jason Voohees

-Freddy Krueger

-Hannibal Lecter (Anthony Hopkins)

-Hannibal Lecter (Mads Mikkelson)

-Chucky and Tiffany

Orange is the new black:

-Sam Healy

-Desi Piscartella

-George Mendez

-John Bennett

-Joe Caputo

Yandere Simulator:

-Ayano Aishi

-Ayato Aishi

-Umeji Kizuguchi

-Gaka Hikitsuri

-Hohuto Furukizu

-Dairoku Surikizu

-Hayanari Tsumeato

-Tiru Sutiriku

Bully Scholarship Edition:

-Derby Harrington

-Gary Smith

-Bif Taylor

-Chad Morris

-Gord Vendome

-Derby Harrington and Johnny Vincent

-Tad Spencer

Requests are open for more characters. give me time to do my research if I don't know them and add them to the list. Enjoy reading.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Rogues! The podcast is a fan made podcast by a tumblr user named codot that the tumblr Batman rogues fandom treats like the second coming of Batman villain media and Batman media in general. It's like WFA in the way that it is based pretty much entirely on fanon characterisations for all of the characters except that instead of fluffy slice of life it's kind of trying to be like Nightvale if the radio hosts were Riddler and Scarecrow. They answer tumblr questions 'in character' and everything and also from what I've seen Codot has a tendency to get really pissy if people complain about the way the podcast handles the rogues characterisation, representation and mental illness. And yes Scriddler is the main ship and focus

hey okay I don't want to shit on fanworks too hard or anything but I'm trying to find more information on this and. to be clear. this is a podcast where the main ship is Edward Nygma and Jonathan Crane. and they are. both voiced by the same guy (Codot?) ? hello?

[gender-envy-tournament]

Gender Bracket #1

All were chosen randomly from submissions (With the exception of two of my personal favorites)

Pairs under cut

Reki Kyan (Sk8 the Infinity) vs. Hiyori Tomoe (Ensemble Stars!)

Kate Bush vs. Rantaro Amami (Danganronpa)

Papyrus (Undertale) vs. Gen Asagiri (Dr. Stone)

Rich Goranski (Be More Chill) vs. Danny Phantom (Danny Phantom)

Cloud Strife (Final Fantasy VII) vs. Fujimoto (Ponyo)

Dick Grayson (DC Comics) vs. Red Son (Lego Monkie Kid)

Danny Tanner (Full House) vs. Conner Kent (DC Comics)

Goro Majima (Yakuza) vs. Jacob Andrews

The Nameless Ghouls vs. Frank Iero

Joker (Persona 5) vs. Charlotte Wiltshire (Hello Charlotte)

Sal Fisher (Sally Face) vs. Howl Pendragon (Howl's Moving Castle)

Archibald Craven (The Secret Garden) vs. Bo Burnham

Lady Loki (Marvel Comics) vs. Joshua Kiryu (The World Ends with You)

James Kirk (Star Trek) vs. Eda Clawthorne (The Owl House)

Lee Felix vs. Donatello (Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)

Shikanoin Heizou (Genshin Impact) vs. Beelzebub (Good Omens)

Moira (Overwatch) vs. Samantha Jones (Sex and the City)

Klavier Gavin (Ace Attorney) vs. Quark (Star Trek)

James (Pokemon) vs. Paris the Puppet (The Dummy's Dummy)

Venti (Genshin Impact) vs. René Gallimard (M. Butterfly)

Camilo Madrigal (Encanto) vs. Edward Nygma (Gotham)

Edward Teach (Our Flag Means Death) vs. Bowser (Super Mario Brothers)

Crowley (Supernatural) vs. Delirium of the Endless (The Sandman)

Princess Ozma (Oz) vs. Vanitas (The Case Study of Vanitas)

Kris (Deltarune) vs. Lily Houghton (Jungle Cruise)

Natsume Sakasaki (Ensemble Stars!) vs. Ranboo (@ranboolivesaysstuff)

Envy (Fullmetal Alchemist) vs. Haruhi Fujioka (Ouran High School Host Club)

Dan Heng (Honkai: Star Rail) vs. Jeff Satur

David Tennant vs. Harry du Bois (Disco Elysium)

Dr. Frank-N-Furter (The Rocky Horror Picture Show) vs. Link (The Legend of Zelda)

Tianyou Zhao (Yakuza) vs. @gender-envy-tournament (I got 10 separate submissions again)

The Spine (Steam Powered Giraffe) vs. Raine Whispers (The Owl House)

[quandaryqueen]

Any riddler's

W a close friend who constantly does or almost does something stupid

Close friend definitely has hearing problems from how many times they misheard stuff like

"Go carts?" "..." "..." "...I said vocals." "oh"

Forgets stuff, like, there was this one time where they were searching for their phone using their phone's flashlight

"Have I told you this before?" Yes they have, about 5 times or maybe more in fact, they're veryyy forgetful

BUT despite that they're tremendously smart in different areas, just incredibly forgetful at times which is most of the time

In my defense, it's been three days since I slept

Batman Unburied Edward Nygma X Reader

A platonic piece! I love writing for them omg thank you for this request! This following piece is inspired by things that happened to me so, now you have an idea how stupid this bitch can be.

💚 He loves you, oh he loves you... But seeing you somehow trip on your own feet and somehow land in a canal made him undergo an asthma attack from laughing too hard. After getting his inhaler, he might just grab your hand and pull you out of it (after wiping it with a towel and spraying a hefty amount of sanitizer).

Then you somehow slip and fall back again. He laughs again, almost kills himself in the process, recovers, then helps you back again.

That's it. That's the relationship in a nutshell. And boy, does he always laugh when he's with you.

💚 And it never gets old, fucking hell you find ways in how to be so damn unpredictable when it comes to these things. Sometimes you'd be as agile as a cat, but sometimes you would be so damn clumsy... Like a cat. Huh, two sides of the same coin.

It's fun to watch you, he knows when to laugh and when not to, as he's been friends with you for so long. There are times the laughing was a mere instinct in the midst of a tumultuous moment upon attempting to register what he just saw or to at least alleviate tensions... Sometimes that laughter takes a few minutes as he replays what he had saw.

💚 But in his defense! He always helps you up... And lets out a snicker. And will later remind you of said events and watch embarrassment flood your features upon recalling it, then your mind starts to drift back to the faces of strangers looking at you weirdly for tripping at nothing.

It's top tier entertainment for Edward. He's a good friend, I swear

"Remember that time you walked into a glass door?"

"Not now, Ed," You wince when he brought it up, remembering how you burned under the scrutiny of onlookers. Not to mention, it left a nasty welt and a bruise to be reminded of it.

"Then when you to find the door, you ended up walking through another glass?"

"FUCK OFF!"

💚 Anyways, not only that, as your mind tends to run during the day and what came of it, were random blurts of words Edward finds absolute golden.

What the fuck was running in your mind that you'd pause in the middle of a task, stare off into the void and let your thoughts run... Edward interrupts your train of thought with a randomness of his own, resulting you to say the most random threads of questionable, yet entertaining semantics.

💚 Here's a little example:

Of course, you were once again staring into space and Edward saw the perfect opportunity to make you jump out of your wits. Your back was turned against him, it was perfect for him to catch you off guard.

Light as a feather, he takes gentle steps as to not disrupt you of your daydream yet. His hands were held out with malicious intent, and slowly, he closes in on you...

"BAH!" he exclaims, hands grasping your shoulder.

"AH 'XPLODING PUSSIES!"

... he does not have an inkling of idea of what you were thinking about, but god continue being such an intriguing little klutz.

💚 Mishearing things are a common occurrence if you're as dumbly deep in day dream as me. Here's an example:

There was a celebration of sorts hosted by Penguin, Edward recalls making you tag along because, according to him, would help ward off people with romantic intentions, hoping the sight of you by his side without confirming anything would successfully dismay them. Edward did not mention the fact that he can't stand some of the guests there and with you being there makes it more bearable.

You didn't mind, you yourself attended the event with personal intention... Namely, the cute performer by the name of Darius Chapel performing in the Iceberg Lounge that night. The darling of the crowd himself.

Well, you were dressed to the nine's, even garnering Edward's approval... Meaning, he was less critical about your fashion choices but I digress— you looked so fucking bomb.

You were seated at a table with Edward, along with a few guests. The most important man, Oswald Cobblepot, just seated beside you. Eventually, Darius came to join the table after performing and you were a sight to behold, giggling like a little school girl with their school girl crush and school girl daze and school girl day dream.

"Another great year. I propose a toast!" One of the guest raises their glass.

"Cheers!"

In your simping head, make up an appearance, you suddenly sat up from your seat, which had everyone in the table glance at you with furrowed brows. They watch you step away from your seat and walk away. All glanced at Edward, who was only as confused as they were when you returned to the table carrying a stack of monoblock chairs.

"What are those?" Edward questions.

"Chairs."

A short laugh was pulled from his throat before he can even respond. "Honey, he said 'cheers' not chairs."

... No one has let you live it down.

💚 When he laughs with you during your little accidents, there's still the underlying sense of concern he has for you. He hopes you know he cares, even after he is laughing up a storm that he triggers an asthma attack.

So after you trioo for the umpteenth time, it's expected he laughs, helps you to your feet, and does the 'lovingly calls you an idiot while patching you up' kind of thing, even throwing in reassurances... Or his way of reassurances.

"I am so dumb, oh my god. What the fuck did I tripped on? Nothing!"

"Oh don't worry. No one saw you this time, I promise!"

"That doesn't even make it less worse!"

💚 This Edward is less of an elitist in terms of intelligence compaired to his other counterparts, he is more understanding about how some people are more intelligent in their ways. He also does not go out of his way to make others feel bad and put himself on a pedestal because of it.

Because of your nature to trip over nothing and stare into space and lost in your train of thoughts, others have tendancies to call you names... Which Edward fucking hated, because he knows you're more than the stumbling idiot everyone assume you as.

I firmly believe that he would be that friend that will subtly set up a scene that he knows you'll fucking dominate. So he'll put up a riddle he knows you can answer and watch in satisfaction as the others jaws drop at the sight of you answering that riddle without a second thought, and being fucking correct.

💚 In the end, he loves you because you make him laugh.

[ramenflavoredchaos]

Hula

It was very typical of Harley to host a rogue’s only talent show, it was also very typical of her botanical girlfriend that everyone’s safety hinged on their participation. Now Oswald found himself in the back row of an abandoned theater while a handful of criminals were showing off their skills ranging from dislocating and relocating their arm (It was glaringly obvious Jonathan was getting a kick out of the reactions he got out of that) to recounting the entire ace attorney series word for word (Harvey was very hung up on the spin off series being chess themed). The gentleman rogue was trying to find out of this predicament, weighing out whether he could sneak out through the fire escape or just blow a hole into the side of the wall and book it, both ending is Poison Ivy either strangling him or Harley tackling him to the floor.

“Next up! Edward Nygma who will be performing a,” the clown girl held her cue cards closer to her face and muttered something in Korean, “He will be performing three hula numbers back to back honoring the the lava goddess Pele and- Aigoo this handwriting is atrocious…”

“I don’t need your input on my penmanship just read what’s on the card,” a voice backstage yelled.

“How!? You write like you don’t have hands!”

“Forget it I’m going to start!”

Thinking back, Oswald did remember Edward mentioning that when he was growing up in Hawaii he use to dance hula professionally.

“He must have had a hard time looking for a green aloha shirt,” Oswald chuckled to himself thinking about how the Riddler was seen in skin tight costumes or sparkling suits, a button up shirt and khakis was probably a change of pace for the prince of puzzles.

That is until Ed began to dance out once the speakers played a prerecording of Ed chanting to the beat of a percussion. Oh wow! Oh dear! He was wearing a cloth barely covering his lower half and wreaths around his limbs and head. With each turn the cloth moved out of the way to briefly show his ass giving way to a couple of whistles from the crowd. Oswald meanwhile was preoccupied by Ed’s expressions, the way his eyes followed every movement his hands made, the way he would call out the first word of each verse, the way his face displayed this unadulterated joy and love of his performance. Of course, the fact the man was practically naked didn’t go unnoticed by Oswald but there was something charming about Ed’s enthusiasm radiating from his body once the second number started and he was alternating between standing and dropping down in his dancing.

“You’re really focusing in on him,” Selina pointed out from behind him, “Wanna share with the class?”

Oswald blushed, “I don’t know what you mean. Ed is just a very charismatic performer.”

“Sure.”

“I am. I am sure!”

The cat thief just hummed a response, turning her attention to the stage where Ed was on his knees and bending backwards, his upper body just barely touching the floor. In that moment, the dancer’s eyes locked onto Oswald’s and everyone else seemed to disappear from their mind’s eye. Edward held his position for a good while and winked before shooting back up to wrap up his dance.

Suddenly, an escape plan sounded like a terrible course of action and it was swiftly replaced with how he can get this man to dance for just him.

All based on this picture I drew of him-

[thenerdgames]

Contestant Match-Ups!

Notes:

There will be some opportunities in later rounds for characters who get voted out to get “revived” i.e. voted back into the contest! (My current plan is along the lines of, say, the top ten characters with the most votes who lost are included in a poll(s) to see who will get revived back into the contest)

Not all nominated characters were able to be included. Some did not quite meet/match the “nerd criteria” we were looking at, and a handful of extremely obscure nominations were received (which was much appreciated!) but the small amount + inability to find sufficient information on the characters to make a determination on their qualification meant that they couldn’t be included.

Poll Length: Current plan is to have Round 1 polls span one week. It’s possible that after Round 1, polls may revert to being 24 hours each for the remaining rounds - this is still being decided, and we may also open up a poll to see what other people think or would prefer regarding this. We’re happy to hear your feedback.

Alright everyone, here are our contestants & match-ups! (The characters who win round 1 will get shuffled around again before being matched up in round 2!)

Gyro Gearloose (DuckTales 2017) vs Huey Duck (DuckTales 2017)

Baljeet Tjinder (Phineas and Ferb) vs Carl Karl (Phineas and Ferb)

Maxie (Pokémon) vs Clemont (Pokémon)

Dexter (Dexter’s Laboratory) vs Mandark (Dexter’s Laboratory)

Theodore “Tobey” McCallister III (WordGirl) vs Sniffles (Happy Tree Friends)

Dr. Sylvester "Sylvie" Ashling (Epithet Erased) vs Klug (Puyo Puyo)

Stanford Pines (Gravity Falls) vs Fan (Inanimate Insanity)

Melvin Sneedly (Captain Underpants) vs Martin Prince (The Simpsons)

Jeff Andonuts (Earthbound) vs Double D (Ed, Edd & Eddy)

Harold Norbert Cheever Doris McGrady V (Total Drama) vs Brainy Smurf (The Smurfs)

Alan “(the) Brain” Powers (Arthur) vs Carl Chryniszzswics (Johnny Bravo)

Steroids (Nuclear Throne) vs Closet (Barbie: Life in the Dreamhouse)

Will Byers (Stranger Things) vs Abed Nadir (Community)

Victor Frankenstein (Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus) vs Donatello (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)

Steve Urkel (Family Matters) vs Fact Sphere (Portal 2)

Kowalski (Penguins of Madagascar) vs Chidi Anagonye (The Good Place)

Dr. Herbert West (Re-Animator) vs Edward "Ed" Nygma (Gotham)

Berdly (Deltarune) vs Carlos the Scientist (Welcome to Night Vale)

Checklists

Each character will have their Nerd Checklist criteria featured in their polls, so that voters can see what criteria they do/don’t meet when making their decision! We are seeking to try and ensure that checklists are accurate. The checklists for each character will be posted prior to polls opening up, so that fans may have the opportunity to state if they think any selections or lack of selections are inaccurate. Behind the scenes, we’re working on finalising the checklists now.

In the end, no nomination was received for Floofty. I would have gone ahead and put them in the contest, but I’m not personally familiar with the character so I’m not able to fill out an accurate checklist for them. We will be looking at opening up nominations for a contest mainly featuring nerd girls to host afterwards, but nonbinary characters are still able to be nominated and participate for that too (same as they were for this contest focusing mainly on nerd guys)

The current goal is for Round 1 to start on Monday or Tuesday evening GMT+10, but that may be possibly delayed slightly depending on when the checklists are finalised/posted. Thanks, everyone! Will keep you all updated.

(Curious about how the match-ups were determined? Refer to the “How were the character Match-Ups for Round 1 Chosen?” post linked in pinned post!)