#horrified shock and delight
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if I had a nickel for everytime my favorite female character was revealed to be dead with a camera shot from the inside of her skull I'd have two nickels. which isn't a lot but it sure is fucked it happened twice right.
#anyway. the visceral reaction i had to both scenes was exactly the same#horrified shock and delight#falin was revived with the power of lesbianism#with maki in the story heres how nobora alive truthers can still win#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#nobara kugisaki#falin touden#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#text
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Peaky Movie News!!!
How far advanced are you on the Peaky Blinders movie?
��It’s gonna happen. It’s gonna happen this September. I’m just doing the final polishes, which will continue up until the day before we start shooting. But we’re there. We’ve got everything sorted, we’ve got all the commitments we need, we are ready to go. I think the film is gonna be a step up again, and it’s gonna be great that Peaky fans can meet in one place and watch it. The budget will be bigger, but also because we know we’re ending this chapter, we’re all going to try to do our best. Cillian [Murphy] is really up for it. So I can’t wait for it to start shooting.”
Of course now, Cillian is an Oscar winner too…
“Isn’t it amazing? I’m so pleased for him because he deserves it. After every award that he won, he would text and say, ‘I really can’t wait to be doing Peaky.’ Confirming that none of this was going to change what we’re going to do next.”
Do you think audiences are going to be shocked or delighted by what happens in the movie?
“I hope shocked and delighted and horrified and then delighted again and then shocked again!”
#I think my heart can't take this..“delighted shocked and horrified”..uuurrrrggggg can't wait!!!#peaky blinders movie#watch this space#peaky blinders#cillian murphy#tommy shelby#steven knight#natasha o'keeffe#lizzie shelby#ada shelby#Arthur Shelby#sophie rundle#paul anderson
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reading the list of users in that godforsaken Signal warmonger groupchat and thinking "nightmare blunt rotation" over and over with each name
#theo.txt#I don't care about national security but jesus christ.#the headlines all had vance and hegseth and that's bad enough#but marco rubio AND tulsi gabbard AND stephen miller?#and jeffrey goldberg in the background looking appropriately shocked and horrified and delighted all at once#mfers when the entire white house staff drops the leak of the year in your lap AND you have an obligation Not to stop them bombing Yemen#oh nooo opsec... oh nooo.......#the weakest whistleblowing ever managed lmfao.#I fucking hate it here!!!
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writer’s group was last night and the universal consensus on the icarus story was that everyone wanted the horny director’s cut, so i guess i have some un-editing to do
#shocked and horrified and delighted#it was so much work taking the horniness out and now i have to put it back in#freaks (affectionate)#ley writes
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Worthwhile (click for clarity)





I think a lot of people are already aware, but I LOVE it when I make Jazz tall, long, and creepy. Something about the thought of her being like a model, beautiful and tall, but when people look at her for too long and go, ‘wait a minute, is a real person supposed to look like that…?’ is really delightful to me XD
I actually made this a while ago, but I could never find an opportunity to post it…
Image description:
Panel 1 has an image of Jason and Jazz standing together. However, instead of looking normal, Jazz is faceless, scribbled over with black and looks very elongated and unnatural. She leans over a brightly smiling Jason like a monster. Jason has his arm on around her waist, while a clawed, withered hand rests on his shoulder, presumably Jazz’s.
Damian narrates: My brother recently got a girlfriend.
Panel 2 has an image of Damian’s terrified face. He looks extremely unsettled and frightened. He continues narrating throughout the entire comic.
D: I think she’s the most terrifying thing I’ve seen.
Panel 3 has him standing in the background as a little chibi, shocked as Stephanie and Tim approach Jazz without any hesitation, seemingly accepting her “horrifying” visage. Jazz’s face cannot be seen, only her long red hair.
D: Though no one else seems to notice but me.
Panel 4 has an image of Damian flinching backwards as Jazz’s clawed hand reaches for him. He looks terrified of her. Jazz’s body cannot be seen, only the hand.
D: But even if she’s horrifying
Panel 5 has Damian ducking downwards, closing his eyes, as Jazz’s hand finally reaches him, patting his head. Her hand is surprisingly not scary-looking, but instead, human.
Panel 6 has Damian looking shocked and confused, reaching up to touch his head as a little chibi in the background as Jazz slides out of view, nothing being seen but her red hair, as she leaves.
D: *continuing the narration from panel 3* She has never hurt any of us.
Panel 7 has an image of Jazz’s back again, her skin still being scribbled over and with only her long red hair being shown. She looms over Jason, who’s beaming up at her, supposedly completely oblivious to her terrifying looks.
D: So if you chose someone like her, ahki…
Panel 8 has Jason and Jazz together again, noses touching as they smile at each other, completely wrapped up in one another. There is finally a glimpse of Jazz’s face and she looks normal, smiling happily as Jason beams at her. She is also of a more normal height, although still taller than Jason.
D: Then surely, there is something worthwhile about her….?
#dpxdc#dcxdp#dp x dc#dc x dp#danny phantom x dc#dp x dc crossover#jazz fenton#jason todd#damian wayne#tim drake#stephanie brown#jazz + damian duo#anger management ship#hardcover ship#jason x jazz#liminal jazz#tw creepy#eldritch au
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The mysterious Mrs. Piastri
We are interrupting our regularly scheduled programming for a Valentine's Day Treat. Remember that video where Oscar was asked "Get married or get a tattoo?" Well, it showed up on my FYP and I was like..:WAIT
Summary:
Oscar Piastri had always been a calm, collected kind of guy. Unshakeable, even. Lando Norris, on the other hand? Not so much.
And today? Today was the day Lando fully lost it.
(divider thanks to @saradika-graphics )
Oscar Piastri had always been a calm, collected kind of guy. Unshakeable, even.
Lando Norris, on the other hand? Not so much.
And today? Today was the day Lando fully lost it.
It had started innocently enough, just another fan stage, just another round of questions.
“Oscar, would you rather get married or get a tattoo?”
Easy. Straightforward. Oscar barely had to think before responding, “Well, I already did one of those things.”
That was, apparently, the wrong thing to say.
Because one second later, Lando spat out his drink.
“YOU GOT A TATTOO?!”
Oscar turned, confused. “What? No.”
Lando, looking equal parts betrayed and horrified, pointed an accusing finger. “Mate, I’ve seen you in swim trunks. There’s no way you have a tattoo. Where is it?”
Oscar frowned. “I don’t have a tattoo.”
Lando’s face twisted in confusion. “But you just said—” He stopped. His eyes widened. Oscar could see the moment his brain caught up.
“WAIT. WAIT.” Lando practically jumped out of his seat. “YOU’RE MARRIED?!” Lando looked genuinely stunned, his mouth hanging open in shock.
Oscar nodded, calm as ever. “Yeah.”
Lando’s reaction was not calm. Lando let out a strangled, guttural noise, kind of sounding like an indignant cat.
“WHAT?!”
The interviewer, who had been mostly observing up until now, leaned forward, eyes shining with the excitement of a woman who had just stumbled upon the biggest scoop of the season. “Okay, hold on. You mean married married? Like, legally?”
Oscar frowned. “Is there another kind?”
Lando’s hands were now on his head, his entire world seemingly crumbling around him. “SINCE WHEN?!”
Oscar shrugged. “A while now.”
The crowd lost it. The interviewer looked like Christmas had come early. The McLaren PR team, wherever they were, was probably having a collective heart attack.
Lando’s jaw dropped. “I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW YOU HAD A GIRLFRIEND.”
Oscar frowned. “You know that," he told Lando pointedly.
“I DO NOT KNOW THAT,” Lando shouted. “WHEN HAVE YOU EVER MENTIONED A GIRLFRIEND—LET ALONE A WIFE?!”
Oh well. Oscar just shrugged. “Well. I do. She’s amazing. 10/10. Would always marry her again.”
Lando let out a hysterical laugh. “Wait, wait, wait. No, no. You’re telling me you have a freaking WIFE?!”
The interviewer seized the moment. “Okay, no, we need details. How long have you been together?”
Oscar raised an eyebrow. "Since we were 15."
Lando made a strangled noise. “15?! YOU’VE BEEN WITH HER SINCE YOU WERE 15?!”
Oscar nodded. “Yeah.”
The interviewer looked delighted. “How did you meet?”
Oscar tilted his head. “School?”
Lando groaned and turned to the audience. “Look at this guy. Look at him. Of course he’s been secretly married this whole time. Of course.”
The interviewer pressed on. “When did you get married?”
Oscar shrugged. “When I was 18.”
The entire crowd erupted. Fans were screaming, phones were recording, and McLaren PR was definitely hyperventilating somewhere.
Lando, meanwhile, looked like his whole world had just collapsed in real-time.
“You—you got MARRIED at EIGHTEEN?!” he wheezed. “WHY?!”
Oscar looked at him like he was stupid. “Because I wanted to? Because I love her?”
The interviewer cooed over the answer. Lando physically recoiled. “What, like straight out of high school?!”
Oscar frowned. “Not straight out of high school. We waited a bit.”
“HOW LONG IS A BIT?!” Lando demanded.
Oscar thought about it. “Like… three weeks after graduation?”
Lando let out a strangled noise. “THAT’S NOT A BIT, OSCAR. THAT’S BASICALLY IMMEDIATELY.”
Lando dramatically fell back in his chair. The interviewer, meanwhile, was nearly vibrating with excitement. “Okay, okay, follow-up question—how did you propose?”
Oscar thought about it. “I asked her to marry me.”
The interviewer stared. “…That’s it?”
Oscar nodded. “Yeah.”
Lando threw his hands in the air. “UNBELIEVABLE.”
The interviewer, trying desperately to salvage something remotely romantic, asked, “Where did you propose?”
Oscar, as if this were a perfectly reasonable answer, said, “Uh. At home?”
The interviewer looked at him. "...At home?"
"On the bed," Oscar added.
Lando looked like he was going to have an aneurysm.
The crowd groaned. The interviewer looked physically pained. Lando just laughed in disbelief. “I knew you’d be the most unromantic bastard alive.”
Oscar rolled his eyes. “She said yes.”
Lando wiped imaginary tears from his eyes. “That poor woman.”
The interviewer shook her head in awe. “Oscar, mate, I have to ask—how did you manage to keep this a secret for so long?”
Oscar blinked. “No one asked?”
Lando just screamed.
The interviewer, who had completely abandoned all pretense of professionalism, leaned forward. “Okay, wait, wait, who is she?”
Oscar blinked. “My wife?”
Lando threw up his hands. “YES, OBVIOUSLY, but who is she? What’s her name? Where’s she from? What does she do?”
Oscar's forehead creased. "Is that... relevant?"
The interviewer just about had a stroke. Lando looked like he was going to spontaneously combust.
The fans were losing their freaking minds.
Lando nearly fell out of his chair. “YOU’VE BEEN MARRIED FOR YEARS AND I’VE NEVER MET HER.”
“I mean, I thought it was obvious?”
“OBVIOUS TO WHO?!” Lando yelled. “BECAUSE IT WASN’T OBVIOUS TO ME.”
Oscar just shrugged.
Lando groaned. “Mate, I DIDN’T KNOW SHE EXISTED!”
Lando looked like he was seconds from grabbing Oscar and shaking him until some kind of information fell out. "Okay, I can't believe I have to ask this, but why the hell didn't you tell me?”
"I thought you knew," Oscar answered simply.
Lando just gaped. "How on earth would I have known?"
Oscar shrugged. The interviewer, meanwhile, was leaning closer, clearly invested in the whole thing now.
Lando, apparently having had enough, decided on a different tactic. Lando pointed at him, eyes narrowing. “You’re not getting away with this. You are going to introduce me to your wife.”
Oscar sighed, clearly knowing a losing battle when he saw one. “Fine,” he said after a moment.
Lando sat back, satisfied. “Good.” Then he paused. “Wait—does anyone else know? Like, do the team know?”
Oscar shrugged. “I think Zak does.”
Lando made a strangled noise. “Why does Zak get to know?!”
Oscar pointed out, “Because he’s my boss?”
The interviewer, clearly having thrown all professionalism out the window, was just enjoying the chaos. Lando looked like he wanted to scream. “But I’m your friend!”
Somewhere in the background, McLaren PR was probably losing their minds, trying to figure out how to handle the fact that Oscar Piastri, their quiet, low-maintenance driver, had accidentally revealed he’d been married since he was 18.
Not Oscar’s problem, though...After he escaped Lando Norris' clutches.
He had a wife to call after all.
Oscar Piastri was a man of routine.
He liked predictability. Consistency. A life largely free of unnecessary chaos.
Which was exactly why, after the complete meltdown that was today’s fan stage, he had retreated to his driver’s room, shut the door, and pulled out his phone. If there was one thing in his life that wasn’t chaotic, it was his wife.
The call rang twice before she picked up.
“Hey, love,” she greeted, her face appearing on screen. She was sitting in their apartment, hair tied up, wearing one of his hoodies.
Oscar felt himself relax immediately. “Hey.”
She smiled at him. “So, how was your day?”
Oscar sighed. “Lando found out we’re married.”
Her eyes widened slightly. “Oh.” A pause. “He… didn’t know?”
Oscar shook his head. "I thought he did."
She let out a small laugh at that. "How the hell did you think he knew?"
Oscar shrugged. "I dunno. We've been married for, what, five years now? How could he not know?"
Her smile widened. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe because you're about as romantic as a cactus?"
Oscar let out a huff. "I can be romantic."
Before she could respond, there was a loud banging on the door, followed by—
“LET ME IN, PIASTRI!”
Oscar sighed through his nose. “Oh, for fuck’s sake.”
His wife bit her lip, clearly seconds away from laughing. “Is that…?”
“YOU HAVE EXACTLY THREE SECONDS BEFORE I BREAK THIS DOOR DOWN AND—”
Oscar hung his head. “Yes.”
She was laughing now, and he couldn’t even bring himself to be mad because it was an adorable sound.
The banging continued. “I CAN HEAR YOU IN THERE. STOP IGNORING ME, OSCAR.”
His wife bit her lip, clearly trying not to laugh. “You should probably let him in before he tries to break the door down.”
Oscar debated not letting him in, but realistically, Lando would either A) find a way in, or B) make this everyone else’s problem.
So, with a long-suffering sigh, he got up and opened the door.
Lando barreled in immediately, eyes wild.
“WHERE IS SHE?!?” he demanded. “I NEED TO SEE HER WITH MY OWN EYES.”
Oscar sighed, holding up the phone. “She’s on FaceTime, you absolute lunatic.”
Lando’s head whipped around, and he nearly tripped over his own feet trying to get to the couch. He pushed past Oscar with a huff, then stared, wide-eyed, at the phone.
Lando was silent. For once.
His wife was, bless her soul, doing her best to fight her laughter at the look on Lando’s face. “Hi,” she said. “You must be Lando.”
Lando just continued to gape.
Then, slowly, he pointed an accusatory finger at the screen. “You’re real.”
She laughed. “I hope so.”
Lando turned to Oscar, looking personally betrayed. “SHE’S REAL.”
Oscar sighed. “I know.”
Lando turned back to the phone. “And you married him? At eighteen?!?”
She smiled. “Yep.”
Lando reeled. “WHY?!”
She tilted her head. “Because I love him?”
Lando looked like his entire world had been completely shaken. “You love him,” he repeated, staring incredulously down at her.
Oscar rolled his eyes. “Oi, mate, why’s that so hard to believe?”
Lando just groaned in exasperation. “You do not understand how hard it is, being friends with a guy for literal years, and never knowing he had a girlfriend—let alone a WIFE.”
“Mate, I’m pretty sure that says more about you than me,” Oscar told him bluntly.
Lando shot him a glare. “Oh, and you’re what? Mister Emotional Intelligence? You’ve been hiding this for years!”
Oscar shrugged. “Never came up in conversation.”
Lando looked horrified. “Don’t put this on me!”
Oscar shrugged. “You never asked.”
Lando flopped onto the couch, rubbing his face. “Unbelievable.”
His wife stifled a laugh, the corners of her mouth tugging upward as she watched Lando in his current state.
Lando, meanwhile, had moved to the “trying to wrap his head around this situation” portion of his breakdown.
“Okay, no. We’re fixing this. Immediately.”
Oscar sighed. “Lando—”
Lando pointed at the phone. “I need to meet her.”
Oscar sighed. “Fine. Silverstone.”
Lando gasped. “Really?!?”
Oscar deadpanned. “No, I just said it for fun.”
Lando turned back to the phone. “Mrs. Piastri, I will see you at Silverstone.”
She laughed. “Looking forward to it.”
Lando nodded firmly, then turned back to Oscar. “I will be grilling you for details later.”
Oscar sighed. “Of course you will.”
Lando stood dramatically. “Good. Carry on.” And then he walked out like he had just personally fixed the situation.
Oscar turned back to his wife, who was fully laughing.
“I love Lando,” she said. “This is the best thing that’s ever happened.”
Oscar sighed. “I regret everything.”
She smirked. “Love you.”
Oscar huffed. “Yeah, yeah. Love you too.”
And somewhere, in the distance, Lando was plotting.
****
@/oscarpiastri ✅
Posted: 1 day ago
Caption:
So, the internet (and, more importantly, Lando) just found out I’m married.
To be honest, I didn’t think it was a secret. I’ve been married for years. I assumed people knew. Turns out, I was very, very wrong.
Yes, I’m married. Have been for five years this summer.
So, meet my wife—my best friend, my favorite person in the world, and the only one who has somehow put up with me for this long.
We met when we were 15. Two kids at boarding school, thrown together by pure chance. The only open seat in class was next to me, so she took it. I stole a pen from her once—completely by accident—but she still let me borrow her pens after that. Eventually, she started carrying a second one just for me. I told myself that meant something.
She always knew when I was having a bad day, even when I hadn’t said a word. She made school bearable, made exams feel less stressful, made me laugh even when all I wanted to do was complain. Somewhere between stolen lunch breaks and long walks back to the dorms, between late-night study sessions and whispered conversations about the future, I fell in love with her. Quietly, all at once and over time. I knew by the time we were 15—maybe even before then.
She was my best friend first. The person I trusted most. The one who understood the parts of my life that didn’t always make sense to everyone else. By the time I worked up the nerve to tell her how I felt, she just smiled and said, ‘I was wondering when you’d figure that out.’ Like she had known all along.
When I left school to chase this ridiculous dream, she didn’t ask me to stay. She just told me she’d be there, no matter how far I went. And she was. Through every win, every loss, every moment of self-doubt.
So when we turned 18, we didn’t wait. Three weeks after graduation, we walked into a registry office in London, signed a piece of paper, and walked out married. No grand ceremony, no expensive dress. Just us, two rings we picked out in under twenty minutes, and a promise we already knew we’d keep.
We told our families afterward. Some took it better than others.
I know getting married at 18 sounds a little mad. People told us we were too young, that we should wait, that we were being reckless. But why? I had no doubt in my mind then, and I have none now.
She’s still the first person I call after every race, no matter the result. She’s the one who tells me to go to bed when I’m up too late on the sim, who reminds me to eat when I forget, who talks me down when I start overthinking. She’s been with me through everything. Through junior categories to F1, through every high and every low, through the moments I wanted to quit and the ones where I felt like I was on top of the world.
She’s my best friend, my greatest love, the only person who can call me out on my nonsense and get away with it.
So, no, I don’t have a tattoo. But I do have a wife. The person who still looks at me like I’m just that 15-year-old kid stealing a pen and falling in love before he even realizes it’s happening.
I have no idea how I convinced her to marry me, but I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat.
10/10, would always marry her again. ❤️
Comments:
@/landonorris: FIVE YEARS??? YOU HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR FIVE YEARS???
↪️ @/oscarpiastri: I assumed you knew. ↪️ @/landonorris: WHEN HAVE YOU EVER MENTIONED HAVING A WIFE???
↪️ @/mrspiastri: He does this thing where he forgets people don’t just know things.
@/danielricciardo: High school sweethearts. Eloped at 18. Best plot twist of the season.
@/mclaren: We have so many questions.↪️ @mrspiastri: Submit them in an organized document, I’ll answer the best ones.
@/f1updates: Today in ‘Oscar Piastri casually drops life-changing information’—he has a whole wife. Lando learned this at the same time as the rest of us.
@/lanoscult: Not Lando finding out with the fans and having a full existential crisis on stage 💀💀💀
@/thef1editz: POV: You just found out your best friend has been MARRIED FOR YEARS and never told you (attached video of Lando’s reaction with dramatic music)
@/wagsf1: WE NEED A FULL BOARDING SCHOOL LOVE STORY IMMEDIATELY.
@/f1tea: No thoughts, just Lando yelling ‘WHO GETS MARRIED AT 18’ like he was personally betrayed.
@/padlockthegrid: We’ve been watching this man for YEARS and never once suspected a wife??
@/georgerussell63: I feel like this is something you announce at a dinner, not in front of an audience.
↪️ @/oscarpiastri: I thought I had mentioned it. ↪️ @/landonorris: YOU DID NOT.
@/charles_leclerc: This is the greatest plot twist in F1 history.
@/fernandoalo_oficial: I respect this level of secrecy.
@/chaoticneutralf1: Oscar Piastri is terrifying. He just DOES things and assumes people KNOW.
@/mclaren: Oscar, any other life-altering facts you’ve forgotten to mention? ↪️ @/oscarpiastri: Not that I can think of. ↪️ @/landonorris: I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THAT.
@/mrspiastri: 10/10, would marry him again. (Even if he forgets to tell people.) ↪️ @/oscarpiastri: Love you too. ❤️
@/danielricciardo: Oscar, mate, do you have any other shocking secrets? ↪️ @/oscarpiastri: Not really. ↪️ @/landonorris: I AM NOT CONVINCED.
@/chaoticgrid: I will think about this every day for the rest of my life.
@/mrspiastri
Posted: 2h ago
Caption:
"So. Yesterday happened.
Since Oscar apparently forgot that telling people you’re married is something you actually have to do, I’ve spent the last 24 hours watching the internet lose its collective mind. You guys have questions. Lots of them. So, let’s go:
1. Wait… Oscar is MARRIED?!
Yes. Since we were 18. I know, I know. We should have made a big announcement. Or at the very least told his teammate. Oops.
2. When did you get married?!Right after we graduated. We were 18, ran off to London, signed a piece of paper, and then told our families. In hindsight, we probably should have done that last part beforehand, but hey, we were young and in love (and slightly impulsive).
3. Why so young?Because we were sure. It wasn’t impulsive—it was inevitable. People told us we were crazy, that we should wait, that we’d change. But we didn’t. We grew up together, and we only ever grew toward each other. If I had to choose again, I’d do it exactly the same way.
3. How did you two meet?We were 15, stuck at boarding school, and Oscar stole my pen. He swears it was an accident. I maintain that it was the moment he decided to make me fall in love with him.
5. Did you really not tell Lando?I thought he knew! Everyone close to us does! I assumed Oscar had mentioned it at some point, but, well… you all saw what happened. Apparently, Oscar’s ‘private life’ policy extended to his teammate of three years. Which is why we all got to witness his public breakdown in real-time.
5. Does this mean you’re an F1 WAG?Technically? Yes. Do I have the outfit coordination and expensive handbag collection to back it up? No. I do steal Oscar’s team hoodies, so that counts, right?
6. What’s your favorite thing about Oscar?The way he loves—quietly, steadily, with his whole heart. He still waits up for me if I’m out late, still kisses my forehead when he thinks I’m asleep, still tucks handwritten notes into his race gloves like he did back when he was karting. I’ve loved him for so long that I can’t imagine my life any other way.
7. And since Oscar said ‘10/10 would always marry her again,’ what’s your answer? 10/10. No regrets, no hesitation, no doubt. I’d marry him a thousand times over.
Comments:
@/landonorris: I’M STILL NOT OVER THIS. ↪️@/oscarpiastri: I’m never going to live this down, am I? ↪️@/mrspiastri: Nope. But I love you anyway.
@/danielricciardo: This is the kind of romance novel material I expect from an F1 WAG.
@/mclaren: We demand a Netflix special on this.
@/wagsf1: This is the cutest thing we’ve ever seen. Please post more.
@/f1updates: The way she said ‘10/10’ like it was the easiest question ever 😭💖
@/wagsf1: He still tucks handwritten notes into his race gloves??? I’M GONNA CRY.
@/f1updates: This woman just broke the internet by being casually, devastatingly in love.
@/f1fangirl92: The way this man has been secretly in love since he was FIFTEEN is actually lethal.”
@/fanaccountoscarpiastri: So what I’m getting is that Oscar is out here winning races and marriage. I respect it.
@/paddockinsider: Be so honest. What did people say when they found out you guys eloped? @/mrspiastri: Oh, everyone thought we were insane. Random people who barely knew us were convinced we’d crash and burn. Now we get a lot of, ‘Wow, you guys really made it work.’ ↪️@/oscarpiastri: Wasn’t hard.
@/f1obsessed: Did you guys ever break up? ↪️@/mrspiastri: Nope. Not once. Not even a ‘we were on a break’ situation. We’ve been together since we were 15, which is wild when I think about it.
@/fanofeverything: Why did Oscar keep it a secret??? ↪️@/mrspiastri: It wasn’t a secret so much as… he never felt the need to bring it up? It’s not like he was hiding me in a basement somewhere lol. He just doesn’t talk about personal stuff unless someone asks directly. Which, apparently, no one did.
@/gridgossip: So who knew? ↪️@/mrspiastri: Mark. Andrea. Probably Zak? Our families, obviously. And, um. That might be it?
@/paddockinsider: Did Oscar just assume that everyone knew you guys were married? ↪️@/mrspiastri: Yes. 100%. This man did not think to mention it because he thought it was ‘obvious. ↪️@/mclarenmemes: “OBVIOUS TO WHO??” ↪️@/mrspiastri: To him. He just figured if someone asked if he was married, he’d say yes. But since no one did, he saw no need to bring it up. ↪️@/landonorris: HOW IS THAT YOUR LOGIC. ↪️@/oscarpiastri: No one asked. ↪️@/landonorris: I’M GOING TO LOSE MY MIND.
@/f1insider: We need more details about Mark Webber finding out. ↪️@/mrspiastri: I swear I saw his soul leave his body. ↪️@/mclarenmemes: OSCAR, EXPLAIN YOURSELF. ↪️@/oscarpiastri: Didn’t seem necessary to tell him at the time ↪️@/landonorris: “HOW IS MARRIAGE NOT NECESSARY INFORMATION???” ↪️@/mrspiastri: Mark Webber sat Oscar down like a disappointed dad and was like, ‘Mate. How do you just… forget to mention you’re married? ↪️@/mclarenupdates: “And what did Oscar say??? ↪️@/mrspiastri: “He just shrugged and went, ‘Not really relevant to racing. ↪️@/landonorris: “I NEED TO LIE DOWN.”
@/paddockdrama: People always joke that Oscar is a robot. Does that ever bother him? ↪️@/mrspiastri: Not really. I once asked him and he just shrugged and went ‘Doesn’t bother me. I don’t need to prove anything to anyone as long as you know how much I love you.’ ↪️@/landonorris: NO BECAUSE WHERE WAS THIS ENERGY WHEN I TOLD HIM I GOT P2 AND HE JUST WENT ‘NICE’??? ↪️@/oscarpiastri: It was nice.
@/paddockgossip: “Did ANY other drivers know???” ↪️@/mrspiastri: Oscar’s Prema teammates figured it out. The rest of the grid? Oblivious. ↪️@/landonorris: How did Oscar never accidentally spill?? ↪️@/mrspiastri: He doesn’t overshare. Meanwhile, I am still in awe that he just assumed people knew.
@/foreverf1: Wait, I need to know—who said ‘I love you’ first? ↪️@/mrspiastri: Oscar did. Completely out of nowhere, too. We were 16, lying on the floor doing homework, and he just looked over and went, ‘Oh. I love you.’ Like he just realized it in real time.
@/f1teaqueen: Okay but like… NO COLD FEET?? Not even a little?? ↪️@/mrspiastri: Nope. We were 100% sure.
@/wildforwags: Who actually officiated your wedding?? ↪️@/mrspiastri: Some very lovely lady at a London registry office. She called us ‘sweethearts’ and I think she knew we were completely insane, but she was very supportive about it.
@/racewifematerial: What did you wear?? ↪️@/mrspiastri: A white sundress I bought the week before. Oscar wore a suit that was slightly too big because he borrowed it last-minute. We looked like two teenagers who ran away from home, which, to be fair… we kinda did.
@/formula1fangirl: Who took the wedding photos? ↪️@/mrspiastri: We handed a disposable camera to two very confused tourists outside the registry office. They did a great job.
@/landoandchaos: Oscar, babe, how did you manage to keep this from your friend for FIVE YEARS? ↪️@/mrspiastri: Listen, Oscar is elite at two things: racing and not offering information unless directly asked.
@/mclarenfanatic: Did he really think Lando knew? ↪️@/mrspiastri: 100%. I asked him and he was like, ‘Well, I didn’t HIDE it?’ And I was like, ‘Oscar. That is not the same thing as telling people.’
@/fastandflawless: Be honest, did you ever have a moment of ‘Oh my god, I married an 18-year-old racing driver, what have I done’?” ↪️@/mrspiastri: Not really? I mean, other people definitely thought we were nuts, but we knew exactly what we were doing. The real crisis moment was a few months later when I realized I’d have to file taxes as a married person.
@/waggossip: “Did Oscar have a big, romantic proposal, or was it just like, ‘Wanna get married?’ ↪️@/mrspiastri: Oscar woke up one morning, looked at me, and said, ‘We should get married. Logically, it makes sense.’ ↪️@/f1softies: YOU’RE JOKING. ↪️@/mrspiastri: I was like, ‘Okay?’ And he said, ‘Great, I’ll book an appointment.’ ↪️@/mclarenmemes: So let me get this straight. No knee. No ring. Just ‘We should get married.’ ↪️@/mrspiastri: Correct. ↪️@/f1wifeguys: And you weren’t even a little mad?? ↪️@/mrspiastri: Nah, I thought it was funny. If he’d done some big, dramatic proposal, I’d have thought he was concussed. ↪️@/mclarenupdates: Please tell me he at least got a ring after that. ↪️@/mrspiastri: He did! We picked one out together. It has both our birthstones.
@/paddocktea: Okay, but does he ever get super romantic out of nowhere?” ↪️@/mrspiastri: Oh, absolutely. Once, when I was really stressed out, he just looked at me and said, ‘You don’t have to do everything alone. I’m always going to be here.’ ↪️@/f1wifeguys: STOP THAT’S SO SWEET.
@/paddockinsider: What’s the most uncharacteristically romantic thing he’s ever said? ↪️@/mrspiastri: We were lying in bed once, just scrolling on our phones, and out of nowhere he goes, ‘You know, no matter how my life turned out, I think I would’ve found you in every version of it.’ And then he just went back to reading about Formula 2 tire degradation like he hadn’t just ruined me.
@/backmarkerbrigade: “So, like, what did you do after you got married? Fancy dinner? Celebratory champagne?” ↪️@/mrspiastri: ...Sandwichs at Pret-a-manger
@/gridlove: What’s the most Oscar Piastri way he’s ever told you he loves you? ↪️@/mrspiastri: One time he texted me ‘You’re my favorite human’ completely out of the blue. No context. No follow-up. Just that. It was adorable.
@/pitlaneprincess: Who cried more at the wedding? ↪️@/mrspiastri: Me. Oscar was annoyingly composed. He did squeeze my hand really tight when we said our vows, though.
@/drsforlove: “This man has been giving post-race interviews like ‘Yeah, good race, car felt good’ and then just casually drops a wife like it’s a tire strategy.
@/wildforwags: What’s something you wish you had done for the wedding? ↪️@/mrspiastri: Honestly, nothing. It was chaotic, but it was ours.
@/pitstopqueen: What was your first impression of Oscar? ↪️@/mrspiastri: Honestly? I thought he was too quiet. Then he made some dry, sarcastic comment under his breath in class, and I immediately knew we’d get along.
@/tracksidegossip: How long did you actually plan the wedding? ↪️@/mrspiastri: A week. And ‘plan’ is a generous term. We just Googled how to get married in London, booked the appointment, and that was that.
@/f1chaos: Oscar, be so honest, did you really think people would just ‘figure it out’ without you ever saying anything?? ↪️@/mrspiastri: Yes. Yes, he did.
@/paddockprincess: Wait, so how did Oscar’s family react to you guys getting married so young? ↪️@/mrspiastri: Honestly? They were really supportive. His mum just went, ‘That makes sense,’ and his dad laughed. Oscar’s family has always been the ‘if you’re happy, we’re happy’ type. ↪️@/oscarpiastriupdates: “So no dramatic reactions from the Piastris??” ↪️@/mrspiastri: “The most dramatic reaction was his mum sighing and saying, ‘You two are hopeless.’ But she meant it fondly.”
@/chaosinthepaddock: What about your family? 👀 ↪️@/mrspiastri: Ah. Well. See, they did not get over it in five minutes. ↪️@/f1tea: Omg. HOW mad were they??” ↪️@/mrspiastri: Very. Like, ‘multiple angry phone calls’ mad. Like, ‘we refuse to speak to you for years’ mad.” ↪️@/landonorris: Did they actually say you were ruining your life? ↪️@/mrspiastri: Oh, yes. There was a lot of dramatic ‘you’re throwing your future away’ speeches. Which was funny, because my future was literally the same, just with more love and an Australian husband. ↪️@/piastrination: Did Oscar ever try to talk to them about it? ↪️@/mrspiastri: Oh, he tried. But Oscar is Oscar, so he just very calmly said, ‘I love her, we’re married, and that’s not changing.’ Which, surprisingly, did not make them less angry. ↪️@/f1gossip: Have they come around since then? ↪️@/mrspiastri: No.
@/landonorris: Lando’s reaction when he found out vs. your family’s reaction when they found out—who had the bigger meltdown?” ↪️@/mrspiastri: Oh, my family by far. Lando was just confused—my relatives were furious.
@/gridgirlgossip: Oscar Piastri, the man who quietly eloped at 18, dealt with family drama, and then just went racing like nothing happened.
@/drsdiva: “This is the wildest reveal in F1 history. Netflix, do your job.”
@/f1softies: “The fact that Oscar has been in wife guy mode for YEARS and we had no idea.”
@/lando4lyf: Lando: ‘YOU GOT A TATTOO?!’ Oscar: ‘No, I’m married.’ Lando: internal system crash
@/piastriupdates: “Lando Norris finding out live on stage that his teammate has been MARRIED FOR FIVE YEARS is the funniest thing to ever happen in F1.
@/f1memesdaily: “Oscar Piastri eloped at 18, never told anyone, and assumed people would figure it out while Lando was out here thinking he was a single man. I respect the commitment to quiet chaos.”
@/danielricciardo: Mate. You were MARRIED this whole time?? I thought you were just too focused on racing to date anyone, and instead you were out here with a whole WIFE???
@/charles_leclerc: You were married at 18? And Oscar thought that was a normal thing to do?? ↪️@/mrspiastri: Yes. Yes, he did.
@/alex_albon: Tbh, I respect it. Absolute power move. Eloping at 18, casually keeping it a secret, and then just dropping it on Lando like that?? Unreal. ↪️@/mrspiastri: See? Alex gets it.
@/robertschwartzman: Oh, now everyone suddenly cares. Meanwhile, WE KNEW THE WHOLE TIME. ↪️@/mrspiastri: To be fair, you two were basically forced to know. ↪️@/robertschwartzman: Yeah, because he wouldn’t shut up about you. ‘Oh, I can’t come to dinner, I have to call my wife.’ ‘Oh, I’m flying to London to see my wife.’ Mate, we were 19, and you were out here married like a 40-year-old. ↪️@/mrspiastri: He still does that, btw. ↪️@/robertschwartzman: Not surprised. The man has been whipped since day one.
@/jehannadaruvala: “The funniest part was watching Oscar just assume we all knew. Like we’d be talking about normal 19-year-old things, and he’d casually drop, ‘Yeah, my wife said the same thing.’ ↪️@/mrspiastri: And did any of you ever ask for clarification? ↪️@/jehannadaruvala: Oh, we asked. His response? ‘What about it?’ LIKE SIR. ↪️@/robertschwartzman: “One time, I straight-up said, ‘Mate, do you realize you’re married?’ and he just blinked at me and said, ‘Yeah.’ As if that was a totally normal thing for a teenage racing driver. ↪️@/mrspiastri: Sounds about right. ↪️@/ollicaldwell: “Honestly, we stopped questioning it after a while. He was just so chill about it. ↪️@/arthur_leclerc: Yeah, it was like, ‘Oh, Oscar’s in a committed marriage while we’re all just trying to survive? Cool, cool.’
@/f1softies: Okay but does he ever have romantic moments?? ↪️@/mrspiastri: Oh, absolutely. They just happen out of nowhere and leave me emotionally ruined. ↪️@/mclarenupdates: Example, please. ↪️@/mrspiastri: One time, I was having a bad day, and he just looked at me and said, ‘You know, the best part of my life is that I get to love you.’ ↪️@/mclarenmemes: EXCUSE ME SIR??? ↪️@/landonorris: “WHAT THE HELL.”
@/f1updates: So you eloped… but do you think you’ll ever have a big wedding? ↪️@/mrspiastri: Not really. Oscar and I don’t love being the center of attention, so a big wedding never appealed to us. ↪️@/landonorris: THEN CAN I HAVE A BIG PARTY ON YOUR BEHALF??? ↪️@/mrspiastri: We literally just had a wedding reveal by accident and you want to throw an even bigger event??? ↪️@/landonorris: YES.
@/f1insider: So how did Mark find out?? ↪️@/mrspiastri: We didn’t tell him. He found out when Oscar referred to me as his wife in conversation. ↪️@/mrspiastri: We were in a meeting. Mark stopped mid-sentence and went, ‘Your WHAT?’ ↪️@/landonorris: HIS WORLDVIEW SHATTERED. @/mrspiastri: Oscar, completely unbothered, said, ‘Oh. Yeah. We got married a while ago.’ ↪️@/mclarenmemes: I CAN HEAR MARK WEBBER’S EXASPERATION. ↪️@/mrspiastri: Mark didn’t speak for a full minute. Then he sighed, rubbed his temples, and went, ‘Mate. You can’t just drop that into conversation like it’s nothing.’ ↪️@/oscarpiastri: I didn’t see the problem. ↪️@/landonorris: YOU WOULDN’T. ↪️@/f1updates: Does Mark ever bring it up now? ↪️@/mrspiastri: Every single time we see him. ↪️@/oscarpiastri: It’s been years. He should let it go. ↪️@/mrspiastri: Finally he just said, ‘Yeah, I should have figured.’ ↪️@/mclarenmemes: EXCUSE ME???” ↪️@/mrspiastri: Apparently, Oscar was too relaxed for someone hiding a major life decision. Mark said he’d seen too many drivers try to balance racing and relationships, and he knew Oscar had already locked it down. ‘Kid’s too stable for anything else.’ ↪️@/mclarenmemes: That’s actually terrifying. ↪️@/mrspiastri: Immediately after he went ‘Alright. Suppose we better make sure this doesn’t derail your career then.’ ↪️@/mclarenmemes: Classic Webber. ↪️@/mclarenupdates: Did he at least congratulate you? ↪️@mrspiastri: Yes. Eventually. But only after making sure we’d thought it through. ↪️@/f1softies: Did he give you a lecture?” ↪️@/mrspiastri: Not really. More like a ‘If you’re doing this, do it properly’ talk.
@/drsfordays: The fact that her family was furious while Mark Webber just sighed is sending me.
@/oscarpiastri_fanclub: So Mark Webber has known this whole time??” ↪️@/mrspiastri: Yes. And I think he’s still mildly offended that Oscar didn’t ask for any advice beforehand.
@/f1updates: Why doesn’t Oscar wear a wedding ring? ↪️@/mrspiastri: He does! He just doesn’t wear it when driving. ↪️@/mclarenmemes: Okay but I have never seen this man wear a ring in my life. ↪️@/mrspiastri: He wears it in the off-season. Also, fun fact: he has a silicone one for training that he keeps losing.
@/f1updates: Oscar is so calm and logical on track. Is he the same at home? ↪️@/mrspiastri: Mostly, yeah. But sometimes, out of nowhere, he’ll just say the most devastatingly romantic thing. ↪️@/f1softies: EXAMPLES PLEASE. ↪️@/mrspiastri: One time, I joked, ‘You’re stuck with me forever,’ and he just looked at me, completely serious, and said, ‘That was the goal.’
@/f1updates: Do you ever wish you dated other people before settling down? ↪️@/mrspiastri: Nope. ↪️@/mclarenmemes: Not even a little? ↪️@/mrspiastri: Why would I? I already found my person.
@/f1updates: Serious question—why don’t you ever go to races?? ↪️@/mrspiastri: Anxiety. And I like my privacy. Nobody needs to see my terrified facial expressions. ↪️@/f1memes: You really married a professional racing driver and said no thanks to the circus.” ↪️@/mrspiastri: Yep. ↪️@/mclarenmemes: And Oscar’s fine with that??? ↪️@/mrspiastri: He knew what he was signing up for.
@/landonorris: So I still haven’t met you because??? ↪️@/mrspiastri: Because you are chaos incarnate and I am scared. ↪️@/landonorris: I AM DELIGHTFUL. ↪️@/mrspiastri: Oscar tells me otherwise. ↪️@/mclarenmemes: OSCAR, SAY IT AIN’T SO. ↪️@/oscarpiastri: No comment.
@/mclarenmemes: So you just send him off to work and watch from home like it’s the Super Bowl? ↪️@/mrspiastri: Yes. ↪️@/f1memes: AND HE’S FINE WITH THAT??? ↪️@/mrspiastri: He comes home, I feed him, we watch race replays together, and he tells me all the paddock gossip. We have an excellent system. ↪️@/f1updates: Oscar, confirm or deny? ↪️@/oscarpiastri: Confirmed.
@/f1updates: So, will we ever see you at a race? ↪️@/mrspiastri: Maybe. One day. ↪️@/mclarenmemes: OSCAR, MAKE HER COME TO ONE. ↪️@/oscarpiastri: She does whatever she wants. I learned that a long time ago.
#formula 1#f1 fanfiction#formula 1 fanfiction#f1 smau#f1 x reader#formula 1 x reader#f1 grid x reader#f1 grid fanfiction#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri#Oscar Piastri smau#Oscar Piastri fic#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri imagine#op81 fic#op81 imagine
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UNEXPECTED GUESTS IV

jason x reader, platonic!damian wayne, ft. batfam
divider by: @cafekitsune & @thecutestgrotto & @omi-resources word count: 2k synopsis: Jason’s secret relationship is discovered by Damian—who keeps showing up uninvited. Jason’s patience is tested, popcorn is made, but at least Damian brought cinnamon rolls. a/n: Here it is! The final part! Hope Y'all enjoyed! Also I hope I got everyone who asked to be on the tag list, if I missed you I am so sorry!
Bruce lifted a brow at the sound of heavy footsteps and the sight of Jason sauntering into the manor kitchen, a duffle bag slung over one shoulder like he owned the place.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, pausing mid-bite, fork suspended halfway to his mouth.
Jason didn’t break stride. “Gee, thanks for the warm welcome,” he drawled, dropping the duffle beside a chair with a solid thud.
Bruce sighed, setting down his utensils. “That’s not what I meant. It’s just you have your own place.”
Jason shrugged, nonchalant. “Maybe I just felt like spending some quality time with dear old Dad.”
Bruce’s gaze narrowed, eyes flicking over him like a scanner calibrating for irregularities. Jason was calm. Casual. Civil. Voluntarily in the manor. Something was wrong.
Jason would rather set himself on fire than willingly spend an evening under Bruce’s roof. He was being too… not-Jason. Polite, even. Pleasant.
Clone? Possibly. Cyborg? Wouldn’t be the first time. A mind-wiped doppelgänger sent to spy on the family?
Then it hit him.
He paused in growing horror…
Did he finally kill the Joker?
Was that why he was in a good mood?
Bruce stared at him. Jason just blinked back innocently, which only made it worse.
No, something was definitely wrong.
“He’s lying,” came a voice from the doorway, smooth and amused.
Dick entered, mug of tea in hand and an unbothered grin on his face. “It’s because everyone’s crashing at his place.”
Now that he mentioned it, the manor had been suspiciously quiet lately.
Bruce glanced between them. “Why?”
Jason froze, his posture stiffening like someone expecting a sniper shot. His eyes flicked to Dick, silently warning him to shut up.
Dick, of course, did not. If anything, his grin widened.
Bruce’s gaze sharpened. “Why?” he repeated.
Jason shot Dick a glare, the kind that promised swift and bloody vengeance, but the little shit was immune. He grinned wider, practically radiating delight.
“Oh, because of his girlfriend,” Dick said, drawing out the word with far too much delight.
It had been unspoken—agreed upon, even—that whatever chaos was unfolding at Jason’s apartment stayed there. The last thing he needed was his personal life dragged into the manor spotlight and have Bruce interrogating his girlfriend. He was already hanging on to his sanity by the thinnest of threads.
But Dick had two fatal weaknesses: an insatiable love for family bonding… and a disturbing amount of joy in watching Jason suffer.
“You should see him at home,” Dick went on, far too pleased with himself. “Total domestic bliss. Folding laundry. Cooking dinner. It’s like watching a lion try to do ballet.”
“Shut the fuck up, dickhead,” Jason snapped, his voice a low snarl.
Bruce paused, fork halfway to his mouth.
The silence that followed was thick enough to cut with a Batarang.
Very slowly—deliberately—Bruce looked up. His eyes locked on Jason.
Jason had a what?
Before anyone could speak, Alfred appeared beside Dick with the poise of a man who had seen war, death, and teenage Bruce Wayne at his most dramatic—and had emerged utterly unshaken.
“Master Jason is bringing her for dinner, of course,” Alfred said, smooth as ever, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
“Master Jason is not!” Jason barked, visibly horrified.
Alfred raised a brow.
Finding out you’d been invited to dinner at Wayne Manor wasn’t exactly a shock. If anything, you’d been expecting it. Most of the family already knew you—had dropped by Jason’s place uninvited enough times that introductions were inevitable. It was only a matter of time before Bruce caught wind of your existence too.
What surprised you more was how not nervous you felt.
Jason, on the other hand, looked like he was mentally preparing for battle.
As the iron gates of Wayne Manor creaked open, you watched him through the passenger-side mirror. Your six-foot-two, weapons-grade boyfriend was pacing beside the car like a man about to face execution. His hair was a mess—freshly wrecked from his own anxious hands—and while the tousled look worked unfairly well for him, it didn’t do much to hide the storm brewing behind his eyes.
“Just… don’t let them suck you into anything,” he muttered, half to himself, half to the universe. “Don’t be too funny. Or too smart.”
You arched a brow. “So… you want me to be dislikable?”
“What? No! I mean—maybe? I don’t know!” he snapped, throwing his arms up. “If you are, maybe they’ll finally stop showing up at my place uninvited. But I don’t want them to hate you either.”
He paused, then groaned. “God. Don’t mention cinnamon rolls. Damian’s still holding a grudge because I ate the last batch.”
You laughed. “Of course he is.”
Jason stopped pacing only long enough to glare at the front door like it personally offended him. “Just… don’t be nervous. We’ll be in and out. Quick and painless.”
You blinked slowly. “Jason. I’m not nervous. You’re the one spiraling.”
By this point, you weren’t even sure he realized what he was saying anymore. He was just venting aloud—burning nervous energy like a fuse inching toward a powder keg.
With a soft breath of amusement, you stepped into his path, catching his hand in yours before he could wear a trench into the manor’s immaculate brickwork.
“Babe,” you said, gently squeezing his fingers. “I’m fine. I got this. You’re the only one falling apart here.”
So you reached up, brushing your fingers along his jaw before leaning in to press a soft kiss to his lips. It was brief—grounding—but it worked. His shoulders dropped an inch, the rigid line of his jaw easing ever so slightly.
When you pulled back, you were already smiling. You laced your fingers through his and gave his hand a gentle squeeze.
“Ready?” you asked.
Jason exhaled, long and slow, like he was about to walk into enemy territory. Which, for him, wasn’t entirely inaccurate.
“Fuck no.”
Alfred greeted you at the door with the warmth of a man welcoming a long-lost friend.
“Miss Y/N,” he said, voice smooth with genuine affection. “We’re delighted to have you.”
You barely had time to smile before Damian appeared—materialized really—at your side.
“You’re sitting next to me.”
You blinked. “Hello to you too,” you said dryly.
He didn’t acknowledge it. His attention was already on the dining table as he pulled out a chair for you with the gravity of someone bestowing a great honour.
“What? No! That’s my girlfriend, demon spawn.” Jason snapped.
Damian didn’t even flinch. He turned to Jason with a droll look, sharp and effortless. “And I pity her for that fact every day.”
You muffled a snort behind your hand and slid gracefully into the offered seat.
“Thank you, Damian,” you said, smoothing your napkin onto your lap with a smirk. Then, with mock innocence, you patted the open chair on your other side. “There’s still one free spot left.”
Jason moved toward it—clearly ready to reclaim his territory—only for Dick to slide in smoothly at the last second.
“Y/N!” Dick beamed, overly bright, already leaning his elbow on the back of your chair like he belonged there.
Jason’s jaw ticked. “Oh no you don’t, Dickhead.”
With all the grace of a man well-versed in brotherly warfare, he hauled Dick up by the collar and dragged him out of the seat with zero ceremony.
“Hey!” Dick protested, arms flailing like a cat being relocated. But Jason was already dropping into the seat beside you, triumphant.
Dick slunk across the table with a wounded pout, muttering something about uncalled-for violence.
You raised a brow at your boyfriend. “You know we practically live together. You see me every day.”
Jason scowled. “So do these assholes. They break into my apartment every day.”
Damian arched a brow from your other side, utterly unbothered. “Careful, Todd. Green isn’t your color.”
Dinner was… everything Jason feared.
Tim asked how you two met—twice—just to watch Jason twitch with increasing irritation.
Stephanie demanded relationship details with the energy of a late-night talk show host, bouncing in her seat as she eagerly listened to answer her questions.
Cass watched you in silence, head tilted with a quiet, steady kind of approval. She didn’t need words. She’d already decided she liked you.
And Dick?
Dick was the worst.
He had a seemingly endless supply of Jason’s most humiliating childhood stories, and he recited them with theatrical flair, smirking each time your laughter made Jason’s eye twitch.
Meanwhile, Bruce sat at the head of the table like a statue carved from shadow and marble. He didn’t speak much—hardly at all, in fact—he mostly just watched. His gaze never drifted far from you, sharp and evaluating, like he was measuring you against an invisible checklist. Determining whether you were worthy of his son.
Eventually, between the second course and murmured side conversations, Bruce set down his glass with a soft clink against the china.
“Y/N.”
Jason stiffened like someone had pulled a gun on him. You felt it in the sharp shift of his knee against yours beneath the table. Without looking, you placed a calming hand there.
Jason’s fork paused mid-air. “Bruce…”
You didn’t flinch. You turned to meet his gaze, calmly. “Yes?”
Bruce didn’t blink. “You’ve been with Jason for how long?”
“Almost a year,” you answered easily. “Give or take a few near-death experiences.”
Dick leaned back in his chair with a grin. “That’s basically a vow renewal in this family.”
Bruce continued, tone even. “And you know.”
It wasn’t phrased like a question. You nodded anyway. “Didn’t take long.”
“You stayed.”
“I did.”
Jason muttered, “Why does this feel like a background check with extra judgment?”
Bruce studied you for a moment longer, his expression unreadable. “You’re aware of the risks.”
“I’ve had them explained,” you said dryly. “Repeatedly. With charts.”
Tim snorted into his drink. “Please tell me one of them was color-coded.”
“That was mine,” Damian muttered, arms crossed.
That earned the smallest twitch at the corner of Bruce’s mouth. It wasn’t often anyone got Damian’s seal of approval.
Bruce went quiet for a moment, and the weight of his silence settled over the table. He studied you like a strategist surveying a battlefield.
Finally, he spoke. “You’re either incredibly brave… or incredibly foolish.”
You shrugged, unbothered. “Probably both. It’s part of the application process, right?”
Cass smiled behind her teacup. Steph stared at you with wide, glittering eyes and whispered to Jason, “Marry her.”
At that, something flickered in Bruce’s expression—approval, maybe. Something harder to name. Something deeper.
He nodded once, almost to himself. “You’ll be here for Sunday dinners moving forward.”
Jason nearly choked on his drink. “Are you serious?”
You ignored him, smiling sweetly. “Of course.”
“Babe!”
You patted his thigh. “Ignore him. We’ll be there.”
Dick leaned over, grinning at Jason’s dramatics. “Wow. He likes her more than he likes you.”
Bruce didn’t answer.
Which, of course, meant: yes.
After dinner, Alfred insisted on tea.
Damian insisted on sitting next to you again—claimed it was “for tactical proximity,” though he was clearly just making sure no one else got the seat first.
Stephanie suggested you move into the manor under the guise of “Jason’s health,” citing stress levels and his lack of basic nutrition, and how beneficial it would be for the two of you two live here. Cass offered you her bedroom if the “shoebox you’re living in” ever became unbearable. Tim asked if you could cook, already planning meal rotations. And Dick—of course—invited you to game night next week with a wink and a warning: “Lose to Damian at your own risk.”
Jason looked like he was developing a migraine.
He sat beside you on the long couch in the grand living room, shoulders hunched like a man awaiting trial. Laughter echoed around the walls—walls he used to call cold and empty.
Now they rang with bickering, teasing, warmth.
You nudged him gently with your elbow, barely hiding your smile. “Still want to fake my death and move to the Alps?”
Jason glanced at you.
Then at Damian, practically glued to your side like an emotionally constipated barnacle.
Then at Tim, who was deep in concentration trying to download your favorite show onto the Batcomputer, muttering about file formats and codec errors.
Then at Bruce—stoic, silent Bruce—watching his family with a small, unmistakable smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.
Jason sighed. A long, suffering sound, that was too dramatic to be sincere.
“…Yes.”
← Previous Chapter
Tag list: @stormz369, @gothamhappiness, @remmyswritings, @dominazina, @nicverse, @roastyyytoastyyy, @sunnyfield, @snowy-violets, @sh0jun, @chicarandom11, @oooof-ifellforyou, @esposadomd, @bmyva1entine, @salvatt1, @ghost-candyyy, @sofiafantasies, @leogf
#jason todd one shot#jason todd fic#jason todd x reader#jason todd fluff#jason todd#jason todd x you#jason todd x y/n#batfam#batfamily#batfam x reader#platonic!damian wayne x reader#damian wayne#batfamily x reader#red hood x you#red hood x reader#red hood#Unexpected guests
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Yandere!Shapeshifter x Reader
Featuring a clueless Reader and the grotesque "dog" she found in a cursed forest, yet this time they're joined by a strange man. Where did he come from, and why does the dog run away whenever he comes by? Content: female reader, dark comedy, monster romance, mildly NSFW [Part 1] | [More Monsters]
You couldn't help but stare a little at the stranger who so persistently knocked on your door. His eyes had a peculiar color - one similar to the little dog who followed you home from your hiking trip. You bit your tongue from saying such nonsense, worrying it might be taken as an insult. He extended his long, bony fingers and lowered a wallet in your open palms. "You must've dropped this somewhere", he remarked with feigned worry. "I used the address on your ID card."
Whatever initial suspicion weighed on your shoulders had instantly dispersed into thin air. You thanked the man profusely, and invited him in for a drink. "Careful with my dog, he's-" you begun warning, but the quadruped creature was nowhere to be seen. Mysterious. You led the benevolent soul into your living room with a smile.
One thing led to another, and the polite meetings for coffee turned into steamy nights in the retreat of your bedroom. Around the same time you stopped having your bizarre wet dreams involving some deformed monstrosity ramming into you. Perhaps a loving partner was all you needed. To your great shock - and delight - the stranger never abandoned you the morning after, unlike all the previous flirts. This is the one, you told yourself. For once, you had company. You had consistency.
Unfortunately, your friends don't agree with you. Your dreamy retellings are met with grimaces and horrified shivers. "He has such an unique appearance", you'll argue. "It's uncanny valley", your friends will counter, embracing themselves in a fearful, shielding manner. They claim he must be yet another curse brought by the damned devil of a hound you keep as a pet.
Every discussion regarding your beloved will turn into a back and forth. "The voice is inhuman. A broken record, as if he's copying the rest of us, with jarring interruptions and words randomly patched together!" You wave your hand in dismissal. "He's just a little shy", you say with a faint blush. You've always had a soft spot for introverts. "He's insane! Last time someone complimented your outfit, he begun chanting at the dinner table!" You puff out a chuckle. "He must be religious, or something", you defend him ardently. No one dares to mention the flickering lights, or the fact that the targeted friend never left the confines of their room after that encounter.
You will admit one thing: your dog seems to avoid this man like the plague. You've never seen the two of them together in a room. Could your friends be right? They do say dogs can sniff out bad people. You shake your head. It can't be. You get out of bed, rub your eyes, and check the time: 2am. The space next to you is empty, sheets ruffled aside. Out of curiosity, you head outside the room and follow the faint light in the kitchen. The stranger stands before the fridge, face smudged red and fingers stained and glossy. He's holding what seems to be a half-chewed heart, probably taken out of the raw organs bag you keep for your dog. "Heh. I see you like late snacking, too", you joke, dragging out a chair. "Pass me the cheese, will ya? But...maybe wash your hands first."
This isn't right. Sure, he's fucking you better than anyone else ever did, and you find his mysterious aura endearing. Yet you can't help the guilt eating at your innards, knowing that your dog cannot coexist with this man. Something has to be done, so you call out your partner and pat the sofa you're sitting on. "We must talk", you tell him. "What might be troubling you", he inquires quietly, frozen in the doorframe. "I'm afraid my pet comes before anything else", you confess. "And he seems to be scared of you...I'm not sure our current situation is sustainable." Ah. That's what it was. The man lets out a whistled laugh, as if remembering something.
His bones begin to break in wet, fluid succession, as coarse fur takes over his skin. He lowers himself to his fours, snout wide open in a sharp, toothy grin. "You mean this dog, yes?"
#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere x darling#yandere headcanons#yandere imagines#yandere scenarios#yandere monster#yandere monster x reader#horror#monster x reader#monster romance#monster boyfriend#terato#teratophillia#monster fucker
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you don't like sleeping alone. kaiser not only knows this, but he teases you relentlessly about it. about how you cling to him in your sleep. about how you'll plead with him, only half-conscious, not to leave when he tries to slip out of bed in the early hours of the morning. he delights in how embarrassed you get when he brings it up. revels in your feeble attempts to deny what you both know to be true.
but when you wake up early one morning, still tucked up in bed and wrapped around the comforting warmth of a toned body, you're quietly beyond pleased with the circumstances. it seems this morning you've managed to stir before he's had to slip away, and can luxuriate for just a little while longer in the warmth that radiates from him beneath the plush hotel sheets.
but that contentment doesn't last, because when you lift your head to greet him, you're shocked to find ness at your side—wide awake, and peering at you with startling alertness.
your entire body goes stiff.
"michael was right," he says, his tone entirely too jovial for how horrified you are. his smile too easy and sincere for the circumstances. "you really are clingy in the morning."
you can't even bring yourself to speak. to move. to breathe. there's something unpleasant sitting in the pit of your stomach, inching up to the back of your throat the longer it's left to swell; heavy like shock, but cold like dread.
"don't worry, michael will be back soon," ness says, but you take no comfort from his words of reassurance. he reaches out, and you flinch, but he simply picks up the sheet and brings it up to cover your bare shoulder from where it had slipped down your back. "he just told me to keep the bed warm."
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Gods I just have the funniest idea ever!
Can you do where Alastor will just do the most demonic, cannibalistic and brutal things ever (that even Lucifer was convinced that this mf CANNOT be redeem) but wifey was just sighing, heart eyes and goes 'isn't he the most adorable 🥰'
YES-
Alastor X Reader Headcanons
✅️Romantic
❌️Platonic

TW: Murder, Cannibalism
Description: ☝️⬆️
A lot of people tend to forget that you're ALSO in hell for a reason, assuming you to be Alastor's loving wife and not thinking beyond that
They forget that you love all of your husband, even his twisted side that scares everyone else
Maybe they somehow missed the days you tenderly wiped blood of his face after a particularly large meal of demons who got in his way
"You really should be more mindful of the mess you're making, hiding this lovely face with all this blood."
"Apologies, darling~"
Or the way you would sigh happily whenever the radio static in his voice would intensify due to anger
"He's so cute when he's angry~"
They were probably too busy staring at his humongous demon form to notice how you practically swooned and got weak in the knees at the sight
"Oh honey~ In public~?"
Nobody except Husker, who has been with you two long enough to know just how fucked up you are
Somehow, nobody at the hotel seems to notice any of these signs until Husk points it out to them
"How did that creepy fucker even pull Y/N anyways? There's no way that bitch is actually into his mess!"
Charlie is trying to shut Angel up before either you or your husband hear him, Vaggie nodding in agreement with Angel
Until Husk slams back a shot and points you, innocently reading and sitting in Alastor's lap
"What the fuck? Have any of you actually been using your eyes!? She fucking loves the shit he pulls!"
Everyone's whips their heads around to look at you in surprise, you only laugh and play with the ends of your husband's hair
Alastor's head does a full turn as he gives them a smug grin as he accepts a small kiss on the cheek from you
"What can I say? I'm just irresistible~"
They all start to pay closs attention to your relationship with Alastor after that, especially when he being particularly monstrous
And of course, Husk was fucking right
Alastor is squeezing some guy to death with a tentacle? You're fanning yourself from the balcony with your hand
"Isn't he just the most handsome man you've ever seen? Is it hot out here? I feel like it's hot out here..!"
"...sure, doll..."
You miss the way Angel scoots away from you and hides behind Vaggie
He's dangling another poor soul over his mouth and cackling at that sound of their terror? Suddenly, everyone sees the kiss you blow his way and the wink he gives you
"Remember to chew, darling~! I don't want you to get a stomachache from that lowlife!"
"Darling, you're embarrassing me..!"
Charlie is torn between being horrified and thinking that you two are the cutest couple ever
Alastor decapitates the next one and brings you the head as a gift? You're blushing and holding it like he just gave you a precious bouquet of flowers
"Oh, Alastor, aren't you just the most man romantic in hell~"
"I thought you might enjoy it~"
He looks so pleased with himself, leaning in to accept a gracious kiss on the cheek from his beloved wife
Vaggie is just so visibly shocked, looking at Husk in disbelief, the bartender simply rolling his eyes
"I told you, she's just as fucked up in the head as he is."
They all watch in shock as Alastor picks you up and carries you inside, the sound of your delighted giggling haunting them

Enjoy~
#hazbin hotel x reader#alastor hazbin hotel x reader#alastor hazbin x reader#alastor x reader#hazbin x reader
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Character Emotions
amused / angry / annoyed / anxious / apathetic / apprehensive / ashamed / bashful / bored / calm / cheerful / confused / content / delighted / depressed / disappointed / disgusted / eager / ecstatic / embarrassed / enraged / excited / fearful / frustrated / furious / guilty / happy / hopeful / horrified / humiliated / hurt / indifferent / infuriated / intimidated / irritated / joyful / lonely / lovestruck / melancholic / nervous / nostalgic / overwhelmed / peaceful / perplexed / proud / relieved / remorseful / sad / scared / serene / shocked / surprised / tense / thrilled / uneasy / vengeful / worried
#writing#writer on tumblr#writing tips#writerscommunity#character development#writing advice#oc character#writing help#writer tumblr#writblr
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Listen all I gotta say is price and Johnny are the type to bear hug you during sex. I mean like fully encompassing your whole body, holding you as close as possible with their strong ass grip while they’re balls deep in you. That’s all, thank you and have a great day :)
Oooh anon I like the way you think. Let me posit a few ideas for you. Because brevity is NOT a skill I possess all my thoughts are below the fold.
MDNI 18+, Female reader (because it fits the narrative I want to write today)
CW: Pap smears and doctors appointments mentioned, sex (obviously), mentions of lubrication and anatomy lessons (because if I have to read one more 'it's so tight' I am going to start fight club in your comments. If the vagina is 'tight' it isn't aroused! Vaginas are small when not being used for pleasure or producing a human.)
Johnny "Soap" MacTavish
Johnny bear hugs you, but not frequently. The first time it happened he had been hounding you all day for some action. You put him off with a smile and wore your prettiest day dress out for errands. "I can't miss my appointment today Johnny, and if I leave now I can get some shopping done."
He goes with you obviously because he hasn't seen you in weeks because of his job and spending time with you even at an appointment is better than missing you from home.
You didn't mention and he failed to ask what kind of appointment you had. Imgagine his delight shock to see you strip off your dress with absolutely nothing underneath because you have a yearly physical.
Let's not even argue the point that Johnny is horrified to see how a pap smear goes and apologizes the rest of the day that you have to do that as a part of having him as a newer partner. [I hate pap smears so much...Like I want to fist fight god for making them a thing that needs to happen.]
It takes him a couple hours to get over the sick feeling in his stomach. You had been mid conversation when the provider reached up and flipped down the sheet covering your breasts. They pressed and prodded all without either of you acknowleding what was happening. Was that normal? (It absolutely is.)
When you do finally let him convince (Lets not lie you also wanted this all day) help you to bed end up riding him as he orgasms. His arms snake out and pull you to his chest, the powerful bands of his muscles holding you tight to his chest as he shudders below you. He is overwhelmed and in awe of the things you have to do to keep your body healthy and how part of those things are his fault.
It does prevent you from coming like you wanted but Johnny, once he can see again, takes care of you before settling you both in a bath.
Captain John Price
This man is so used to being in charge that the first time he sinks home into you he is snaking his arms around you to bear hug you to his chest.
"If you move even a bit I am going to explode inside you like a fourteen year old boy and his first time touching a lover," he growls into your shoulder.
He didn't need to use lube on the regular but after you explained he quickly agreed.
"John you could do hours of foreplay and I would still not produce enough fluid to make this an enjoyable experiance for either of us." You smile uncomfortably as his eyebrows tuck downward in confusion. With a shrug you continue, "My body does all the other normal things."
"Normal things like what?" Ah man, he did it now. Education on bodies that had vaginas would always get you on a rant. "So you know how in media the common thing to say about a vagina when inserting a penis is 'oh it's so tight' because it is supposed to feel good for a man?"
John leans back in his chair, contemplation exchanged for his look of confusion. "Yes, go on."
"Okay. When a penis gets erect it grows in size and shape typically, so does a vagina. An unaroused vagina is only about 2 inches in length but when aroused it grows to on average about 4. The rush of blood down there allows it to become more elastic and accomodate many shapes and sizes."
At John's nod you continue, because you know that this can be an uncomfortable topic but you refused to go to bed with a man who didn't care enough to understand how your body works.
"Typically with arousal the vagina creates a lot of fluid to help with insertion." "Isn't that what precum is about too?" Biting your lip you decide if you are going to ruin his day. "No. What we call precum is a cleaning fluid because pee and baby batter use the same tubing in a penis."
"Oh." He looks mildy uncomfortable with this information. Well in for a penny in for a pound. "All that to say, I would love to have sex with you but we will need to use lube because my body doesn't produce enough fluid and the fluid you make isn't really what I will need."
John thought about that conversation as he sank home, the plushness of your thighs bracketing his hips. Shoving one arm behind your neck and the other under your back as you lay under him he focuses on breathing.
Lord only knows that an anatomy lesson from you would be what nearly sends him over the edge. When you start twitching under him he holds you tighter, a slight wheeze escaping your chest.
"Dove I am getting older and don't recover like I used to, give me another ten seconds and then I will fuck you like I'm trying to touch your brain."
That delightful little sentence had you clenching around him, but your hips stopped shifting. Damn, he might need to ask his doctor for some little blue pills because one round a night with you might not be enough.
I'm so totally normal about these fictional characters...yep.. totally normal.
#cod#fanfiction#cod x reader#john soap mactavish#soap cod#price x reader#soap mactavish#john price x reader#female reader#lostintransit#lostintransit writing
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Jazz x Jason idea
Jazz and her siblings open a coffee shop, Graveyard Shift, and slowly start drawing more and more people with their amazing coffee and service.
Especially after Jazz borderline chews out the Joker for his attention seeking, booted out by Dan and Danny, and finally Dani made a piping hot coffee and poured on Joker's pants
Please and thx!
Jason tensed. He darted to the side, eying all of the escape routes before he carefully reached for his gun. The barista, the tall and gorgeous woman that had been just about to take his order, stared calmly as the Joker cut in line and leered at her over the counter.
“Sir, you’re cutting in line,” she said.
The Joker laughed loudly. “You’re cute. I’ll let it slide for now, but I want… a special order. I choose you to make it. And you better comply, or I’ll call your manager!”
At the last part, he laughed again.
The barista’s expression was blank and even a little annoyed.
Jason pulled his gun out of his hidden holster and her eyes darted to him before she looked back to the Joker. “Sir, I will not take your order. You’re cutting in line. Please get to the back of the line and I will take your order when I get to you.”
The Joker frowned before he smirked. “Don’t you know who I am, missy? I’m the Joker! The Joker doesn’t wait! Get your manager, or I’ll get angry!”
The barista stared at him before she rolled her eyes and then said, “What would you like to order, sir?”
Everyone stared at her for her audacity, even Jason. He hated the Joker, but he wasn’t a civilian and he had a gun. This barista was just randomly provoking the Joker? Everyone but her seemed to be horrified.
However, the people behind the counter working with her didn’t look shocked or scared either. They just stopped their work and stared at the Joker with disgust and a lack of fear that was almost stupid.
The Joker sneered. “Surprise me. And if it isn’t satisfying…. Then I’ll kill everyone in this room.”
The audience gasped and some customers stood up in a panic. Jason took the safety of his gun off, eyebrows dipping. It was both fortunate and unfortunate that the beautiful barista held all of the Joker’s attention.
The barista tilted her head and then said, “Dani, surprise drink, please.”
“Coming right up,” a short girl from the side said. She held a white coffee mug in one hand and eyed the Joker with an indecipherable look.
The barista smiled. “Joker, may I ask you a question?” Without even waiting for an answer, she said, “Does it make you feel better about your sad, pathetic life when you harass and threaten other people because nothing about you is lovable or endearing? Even to yourself?”
Everyone’s jaws dropped. Even Jason froze in place, flabbergasted and horrifyingly impressed.
The Joker reared up furiously, but without warning, the girl with the coffee mug threw it at his face, splashing hot coffee all over the Joker.
The barista then waved the other two workers over. The other two baristas, two young men around Tim and Dick’s age, unceremoniously jumped over the counter and then started pummeling the ever loving crap out of the Joker.
Screams started from the clown and everyone watched in fascination as the Joker was completely and utterly outmatched. People began sitting back down and drinking their drinks, watching the show with delight, some even clapping enthusiastically.
The barista manning the cashier hummed. “Have a good day!” She said pleasantly with a wide smile on her face as the Joker was then dragged out of the store.
She looked exactly like an Angel ready to drag Jason down to hell too.
Jason shuffled towards the cashier again. She perked up when she saw him and her smile blossomed on her face like a blooming rose.
“Oh! Ready to order?”
“Yes,” Jason said, having to blink away the hearts in his eyes as he stared at her. “Can I order your number?”
#dpxdc#dcxdp#dp x dc#dc x dp#danny phantom x dc#dp x dc crossover#ask#anon ask#jazz fenton#danny fenton#jason todd#dani phantom#dani fenton#dan phantom#dark danny#phantom family#anger management ship#hardcover ship#jason x jazz#ty for the ask!
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Honeyed Kisses Against Tender Flesh (Fem!Reader x Hayato Suo) - NSFW
Author’s Note: I got carried away with this one. But shoutout to those of us who write for Hayato Suo cuz we really are working with crumbs. Like he’s whatever we say he is until we get more information.
Synopsis: Your friend Kotoha and brother Hiragi are worried about your relationship with Suo. It all comes to a head at the beach, to your embarrassment and Suo's delight. No big deal, though; you’ll just have sex against Hiragi’s truck or whatever.
Content Warning: I’m a really bad judge when it comes to dark content. To me, it’s a spectrum and while I don’t consider this particular story truly dark, others might. So I encourage you to read the warnings and make the best decision for yourself:
Smut with a plot, the obsessive kind of love, possessiveness, hickeys, bruises, biting, spit, enjoyment of public humiliation, teasing, licking of blood, sex/nudity in public, super brief mention of a golden shower, praising/worshipping language, unprotected sex, no-pulling out despite being asked (wrap it up, folks!), like he straight up says “nah.”
Also, please note that you are written as Hiragi’s sister in this story. I do not expand on your relationship, so you might be his half-sister, full-sister, step-sister, adopted sister, etc. I say this for my readers who may hold a racial/ethnic identity different from Hiragi, hoping that you can still feel like this story is for you (because it is <3). Minors Do Not Interact.
Word Count: 3.2K
Divider by Saradika. Story banner by me.

On a day when you and your Bofurin friends decide to visit the beach, the unforgiving intensity of the sun makes you feel as though you’re simmering in a boiling pot. No one except you is ill-prepared; the men are wearing various colored shorts that seemingly match their personalities, and their unclothed torsos are on full, unapologetic display.
Kotoha, sitting on a beach towel next to you, is in a three-piece halter bikini set with a sheer sarong skirt that accentuates her curves. Even your brother Hiragi has abandoned his usual band shirt to showcase his well-toned arms and abs. You find it pretty horrifying but good for him, you think.
It’s hard not to be jealous of all the bare, suntanned skin as you take inventory of your fit. You are wearing an oversized grey hoodie and sweatpants combo that covers every inch of you. Underneath your hefty clothes is a simple but cute black two-piece bikini you originally planned to show off that day.
You are roasting under the sun's rays—and in your anger—as you glare at the person responsible for your attire: Hayato Suo.
He’s sitting on the beach towel with you, his perfectly parted hair blowing softly against the breeze. Despite his attempt at trying to appear inconspicuous in reading his book, you can tell that he’s very much aware of your disdain for him with the way the corners of his mouth twitch upwards.
Kotaho lowers her sunglasses so she’s looking at you over the rim of the frames.
“Why are you wearing a sweatshirt and sweatpants at the beach of all places? I’m getting hot just looking at you.”
You shift uncomfortably, having hoped that this was not a conversation that would come up. You instinctively pull the collar of the sweatshirt higher until it’s tucked snuggly under your chin. “It’s not so bad! I just have to stay hydrated!”
Kotoha leans closer to you and lowers her voice, obviously trying not to catch the attention of Suo. “But why? Is this a cry for help because of you-know-who? Say the word, and I will scream.”
You and Kotoha have become close since you applied for a position to work at Cafe Pothos. She was your boss, but she’s also the embodiment of a girls-girl. You bonded over cooking and annoying brother figures; there wasn’t a thing you didn’t know about each other.
So color her shocked when one day she picked up her cell phone after receiving a series of texts that were coming in rapid succession. She had assumed the sender was Umemiya, but instead, they were from you!
8:50 PM: OMG 8:50 PM: You won’t believe what just happened to meeeeeeee ihfdnf 8:51 PM: SUO! SUO! 8:52 PM: He KISSED me! 8:55 PM: HELLO?! The love of my life just put his tongue in my mouth and you HAVE THE AUDACITY TO NOT ANSWER!? I’m heading to the cafe right fucking now.
Kotoha was confused, not because she didn’t think you deserved the world—you deserved the world and more. She was confused because she couldn’t picture you and Suo together. He was pleasant whenever he came into the cafe, only ordering tea and always leaving a big tip. But other than that, she didn't know much about him, and no one did, and that was a difficult thing to accomplish in a small town.
So when you finally ran into the cafe, practically colliding into the glass door as you shuffled in, Kotoha poured you a fresh cup of coffee, sat you down, and asked if you were sure about this.
Were you sure it was a good idea to date a guy who wore an eyepatch, had never been seen eating, and had a different story about his life every time he was asked? You assured her that Suo was the man of your dreams and you’ve never been more sure of something in your life. And while Kotoha may not know much about Suo, there were small moments that felt as though you were gradually building up to this kiss all along.
The way he’d offer to walk you home even though it was out of his way, how his hand would brush up against yours and linger when passing you coins to pay for his tea, and god, that smile of his that usually didn’t reach his eyes but did when he was talking to you.
You were adamant that this was something you wanted.
You didn’t exactly come out as “official,” though. In a strange way, your relationship just “was.”
Your friends acted as though you had always been together, and the way Suo became a constant in your life—walking you home after every shift from the cafe, texting and calling you more often, holding your hand in public, and taking you out on dates to your favorite places—made it difficult to remember what life was like before him. You quickly became the shadow of the other, and not without concern from Kotoha and Hiragi. Some would call your love for each other smothering, but to you; it was anything but that—it was perfect.
“Everything is fine, Kotoha, I promise.”
She lets out a sigh and pulls her sunglasses back up. You can see the reflection of the guys in her dark shades—Hiragi, Umemiya, Sakura, and Kaji playing volleyball, sand kicking up as shouts of, “get that, doofus!’ and “who are you calling doofus!?” traveling over to you but being drowned out by the roar of waves breaking shore.
A bead of sweat travels down the side of your face, and you look up at the sun, hoping to will it away with a pitiful look.
“Why not take off that burdensome outfit, sweetheart?”
Your head snaps in the direction of Suo, the tone in his voice–thick with faux concern–alluding to the pleasure he’s getting from watching you like this. He’s all too aware of what you’re hiding—he’s the culprit who put you in this situation.
He shrugs innocently, “you’re developing sweat stains,” you follow his finger as he points at you. To your horror, giant wet spots have formed at your armpits and collar. You groan, the realization that if you don’t shed these clothes soon, you’ll likely meet your untimely demise via heatstroke—and that’s a very unsexy way to go.
A shaky hand grips the drawstring of the sweatshirt, and you peel it off with the sweatpants following shortly after. Before you can set the clothes beside you, Kotaha lets out an audible gasp. You wince, knowing that your movements and her sharp intake of breath will surely draw the boys' attention—a result that you were trying your damnedest to avoid.
You thought Hiragi’s booming voice would be the first to reach your ears, but instead, it’s Sakura’s.
“What happened to YOU?!”
The volleyball spinning through the air hits him square in the chest; a loud thud has him doubling over in pain, but it’s not enough to break away Hiragi’s stare from the bruises and hickeys that litter your neck, chest, and thighs.
After gathering himself, Sakura stands up and turns his attention to Suo, “You should really keep a better watch over your girl. She’s obviously getting her butt kicked somewhere-”
Sakura is unable to finish before Hiragi interjects. He takes a step forward, and if you weren’t on sand, you’d be almost positive that the sheer force would shake the earth. “Suo, what did you do to my sister's skin?”
You stare at Hiragi, deep veins already protruding from his forehead. If looks could kill, Suo would be dead right now. You give a sideglance at your boyfriend, who has two hands raised near his head and his shoulders shrugged up to appear non-threatening.
“I am NOT doing this right now!” You proclaim, hurriedly picking up the keys to Hiragi’s car and padding through the sand, trying your damnedest to escape the sound of rising voices.
Suo follows you soon after de-escalating the situation. Assuring Hiragi that he may have gotten carried away with the amount of hickeys and bruises he left on your skin wasn’t easy by any means, but you two were both consenting adults, so there wasn’t much Hiragi could do anyhow. He desperately wanted to add that you didn’t mind the bruises when they were happening to you—but that didn’t seem wise.
Hiragi’s truck is parked next to the property line between the beach and the expanse of forest. When you arrived, the parking lot was full of people, but beach-goers packed their belongings and left as the day neared its end.
Suo can’t see you as he approaches the truck's passenger side, so he assumes you’re on the driver's side. As he rounds the corner, he’s met with the sight of you bending over and attempting to fish the keys off the ground, which must have fallen. The sight of your ass completely swallowing the seat of your bikini bottoms has him suddenly leaning against the car for support and blood flowing south. Even with one eye covered, he can see the outline of your puffy pussy. The bikini is much better, he thinks to himself.
You turn around, hearing the sound of gravel shifting quietly—hoping that your brother hasn’t followed you, but it’s Suo.
“Well, that was awk-“ you begin, but you're cut off. The fluidity and quickness of his motions still surprise and catch you off guard. He pins you in place to the truck with his body—chest to chest.
You can see arousal churning in his eye as his now rock-hard cock presses against your thigh. At that moment, you’re thankful that the shade of the trees shrouds this side of the truck and that anyone coming from the beach would need to walk around the vehicle to catch you in the act.
For Suo, the build-up of knowing what you were trying to hide from the group and the eventual reveal of his handiwork had given him one hell of a rush. Being in on the secret was fun, but the way Hiragi’s eyes darted over your skin, the way he caught Kaji’s cheeks reddening as his eyes swept over your exposed and marked-up flesh, it was practically unbearable.
Suo’s hand tugs at the string of your bikini top, and it doesn’t take long before the flimsy fabric releases and drifts to your feet. You shiver as cool air licks at your breasts and nipples, hardening the sensitive buds upon contact. It isn’t until Suo’s warm hands cup and massage your breasts that you let out a whimper; his touch feels firm and needy, delivering pinches and squeezes to the over-sensitive and bruised flesh.
“S-someone could c-catch us!” You protest in a hushed whisper, but you’re not pushing him away—you tilt your head back to rest it against the truck and arch your spine to give him more access to you.
“They’d be so lucky,” he growls softly into your neck.
As your stomach twists in arousal and nervousness, you know that the Hayato Suo who is fondling you in the parking lot against your brother's truck is a different Hayato than the one your friends interact with.
Suo is often poised and has immense control over his emotions, but sometimes, he gets so overcome by desire that it feels like a gaseous cloud is seeping into your pores and lungs.
You’ve become a welcome victim to the Suo that likes to grip you so desperately that he leaves bruises, bites you so hard that sometimes it breaks the skin, and fucks you so roughly that you’re confident that you’ve experienced the closest thing you can to death.
“Suo, we shouldn’t. They saw my bruises and the hickeys. Toma might kill you.”
“You can’t convince me that this isn’t something you want. This,” he presses two fingers against the seat of your bikini, which sink into the moistness of you, “tells me otherwise.”
Your face grows hot because he’s right. You’re not innocent in your shared dynamic like Kotoha, and Hiragi would like to think—you crave him just as much as he craves you.
You’re just as much of a thrill-seeker as he is but you two have to be quick; anyone in your group could come looking for you any second—and nothing would destroy your arousal more than Hiragi seeing your boyfriend fucking you in public. Suo would enjoy that, though.
It’s as though he can read your mind because Suo is pulling down your bikini bottoms so that they hang around your ankles.
His lips are on yours, his kisses somehow hungrier than his touches. Suo kisses you as though he’s found solace against the plush of your lips and the treasure housed within your mouth. He tilts his head so his tongue can explore every inch of you deeper; he’s unapologetically devouring you.
When he finally pulls away for air, his voice is low and almost gravelly, a departure from his usual calm tone.
“You make me become the most disrespectful version of myself, Y/N.”
His fingers roll and pinch at your nipples, but his eye is on yours. His gaze is intense, and even though he looks at you as though you are his prey and he is your predator, the last thing you want to do is look away.
He continues, “I want nothing more than to be the nice, sweet boyfriend your friends and brother want me to be, but you turn me into someone I don’t recognize.”
He’s pushing his shorts down, and you groan at the sight of him. His dick sits straight up against his abdomen with a slight curve, an aggressive vein pulsates on the side, and the crimson tip of it is smeared in an ungodly amount of precum. How can such a pretty dick look so angry?
Without much prep or warning, he pushes into your wet sex; he’s so deep so quickly that your body jerks reactively.
He can’t hold back the moan that escapes his lips at finally burying himself in you. His mouth has found purchase against your neck; both he and you can feel your pulse quickening, firing rapidly against his tongue as it reaches out to lick at your skin.
“When I look at you, just as you are, I want to ruin you. So if that means I’m covering you with bruises, hickeys, or the most intimate parts of me, so be it.”
He sinks his teeth into your neck, and the sharp pain makes your eyes roll back. The searing sensation doesn't last long as his tongue laps up the droplets of blood that bubble from the punctures.
“Tell me that you’re just as obsessed with me as I am with you,” his fingers are digging into the soft flesh of your thighs as he holds your legs around his waist, allowing him to bounce you on his cock..
“H-Hayato, I’m just as obsessed with you, baby. I promise.”
And you mean it. You’ve never felt a love quite so all-consuming and suffocating. He’s explored every inch of your body; at first, the way his eyes drank you in made you squirm, but he assured you that he was simply appreciating what was his—you wouldn’t fault an art curator for appraising the Mona Lisa, would you, Y/N? No? Then let me be.
Suo has licked parts of you with enthusiasm, parts that you’d be embarrassed to admit to anyone.
And for you, the taste of him is just as nourishing. When he pulls your head back by your hair, his hungry eye communicating to you without him having to say it, you find yourself eagerly opening your mouth and accepting his spit on your outstretched tongue.
The good girl muttered in his smooth voice afterward, and his infamous smile that reaches his eyes when he looks at you makes your clit twitch.
It doesn’t matter if it’s his spit, cum, or other golden liquid of his, you want it all.
During intimacy, Suo tears you down to the most basic, hedonistic version of yourself—his delivery never includes harsh language in the traditional sense—he would absolutely never call you out of your name. You are far too important to be called something derogatory. Sometimes you’ll refer to yourself as “his whore” or “his slutty girl,” and it will make him leak so much precum he has to catch his breath, but he hasn’t reached a point in which he has personally referred to you as those titles…yet.
For now, he uses deft fingers and honeyed words dripping in veiled threats of orgasm denial and overstimulation to push you to the precipice of your pleasure—and you trust him to build you back up afterward with softly cooed hymns of worship and strokes of your tender skin. To Suo, you are a goddess, a deity to be revered. To Suo, you are everything.
And it isn’t until moments like this that you see his mask slip. Your usually stoic boyfriend's mouth opening and closing in pleasure the same way that yours is, soft guttural moans escaping his lips and his brow furrowing, obviously about to lose control to you—-for you.
“You are everything, dove. You are my everything.” He groans as your silky walls clench around him, clutching him for dear life.
“You like it when I compliment you, pretty girl?”
You give him a grunt of approval, feeling yourself so close to becoming undone as he fills your head up with chants of his devotion.
At this point, each thrust has his dick bottoming out into your sopping-wet cunt. Pelvis to pelvis, you can feel every inch of you stretching to accommodate him. His maroon-colored pubic hair tickles at your skin, dampening at the contact of your slick as deep thuds from frantic thrusts fill the air.
And even though you’re only participating in a quickie, a rarity for you both, your cunt still drools just the same, streaks of it managing to glide down your inner thigh and leave droplets at his feet.
“S-suo,” your nails dig into his shoulders, resulting in a delicious hiss from his lips. “Y-you have to pull out! You aren’t wearing a c-condom!”
Suo presses his lips to your ear; you can barely make out what he’s saying over the soft gasps and the way he’s suckling at your earlobe that he has pulled between his teeth.
“I can’t. You’re mine, and I want to fill you up. So you have to take it, dove. Take all of it.”
And the way Suo says it, you know that he isn’t asking; he’s telling you what he plans to do to your body because you are an extension of him–you are his, and it’s his right to cum in you without silly obstacles like “protection.”
His pounding against your cervix feels animalistic, and the force of him fucking you is making the truck rock back and forth.
You bite your lip and hold onto him for dear life as that oh-so-familiar feeling takes over. Your thighs squeeze him, and to muffle the scream bubbling up into your throat, you take a note out of Suo’s handbook and bite his shoulder so hard that he sees a hot, white flash.
In that moment, you give each other everything—all of you becomes all of him—mixing into a mess of creamy, frothy white essence that drips down balls, legs, and thighs.
Between soft kisses on the fresh hickeys and bite marks along your neck, Suo chuckles, “Hiragi is going to be upset.”

#hayato suo x reader#hayato suo#suo hayato x reader#suo x reader#windbreaker smut#wind breaker#windbreaker
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Dirty old man
Summary: Joel is on his seventies, but he still has needs.
A/N: Ok, so. One pic made the rounds in one of the discord servers I frequent and it made me wild, I won't lie (it was a pic/meme with aged Pedro Pascal). Highly inspired by @toxicanonymity's GILF!Joel (mine is a bit of a perv, but this isn't really a dark fic). It was also inspired by @atticrissfinch's MMITB (I wish I had a fraction of her talent for dirty talk, but I'm not even a native speaker of English, so I do what I can). Now you go read them both, I ASSURE YOU it'll be a good time. Huge thanks for all the people that cheered me on with this: Toxi, @romanarose, @beefrobeefcal, @gwendibleywrites, I love you all. (I must admit that I don't know if I'll ever continue this, honestly, although part of me wants to get to the sex scene. xD)
Pairing: No outbreak old man!Joel x Reader
CW: Joel being bold, dirty talk. That's it <3
No beta, we die like lonely writers xD
It wasn’t a bad job.
Sarah wanted to hire you to take care of her father, Joel. He wasn’t that old, but years of hard work in construction gave him some mobility issues. Sarah worried he spent too time alone, and that he could fall, get hurt and trapped without help because of his pride (which seemed to be a real possibility, considering Joel didn’t want to lose his independence in any way).
You were supposed to get the night shift, which was nice. The night shift was calm, except when it wasn’t. Sarah assured you she talked to her father, she wanted to introduce you to him, before you started working.
You prepared for war, if the man was as stubborn and grumpy as his daughter described.
Sarah introduced you and the old man looked at you over his glasses.
“You sure this pretty thing can lift me off the floor?” He asked, a crooked smirk stretching his lips. You considered answering him, but he raised his face defiantly and winked.
He was teasing his daughter.
You chuckled, to Joel’s delight. Sarah hired you on the spot.
***
Joel was grumpy most of the time. You could understand. Getting older was specially hard on some people. Losing their independence seemed to be a horrifying blow.
You admired the family pictures displayed on the walls and the bookshelves. They showed a younger Joel, large and proud, wearing tight tshirts that showed his big arms.
He didn’t change much, to be honest. His hair now was completely silver, as his beard. The wrinkles didn’t spoil his roguish smile. He was on his seventies, but looked younger, somehow. You blamed his brown eyes.
***
“You know what I miss most about my youth?” He said softly one day, entering the living room. You were looking at his pictures. He slowly moved by your side and placed a hand over your back, rubbing gentle circles. “All the pussy.”
You turned to him, astonished at his boldness. He smirked, then shrugged. You felt your face getting warm and a different, slick, syrupy warmth pooling on your lower belly. He licked his lips and sighed.
“It was easy to get pussy with those looks.” He pointed at one picture of himself and smiled proudly. “Didn’t fuck as much as I wanted, or as much as I could. Tried to be a good dad. Don’t regret anything, but... Oh boy, I miss it.” He looked you up and down, his smile turning appreciative.
“Thought old pervs like you liked tiny thin teenagers.” You scoffed.
“Only dumbasses want those.” Joel chuckled, his hand sliding lower on your back. “I like them older. Like you. With those eyes, like you know and did everything under the sun.” Joel hums, closing his eyes. “Get them cockdumb and they cry so sweetly… Mmmm, the surprise in their wide eyes...” He licks his lips, watching your reaction. You laugh, trying to hide your own arousal.
“Well, Joel, I think the preference is because they are supposed to be tight.” You said firmly, standing your ground. You refused to look shocked, and you saw no reason to scold him, at least not yet. Maybe it was your pussy talking.
Joel leaned over you slowly; you stayed very still. His warm breath tickled your ear.
“After a certain size, honey, everything feels tight.” He said softly, grabbing his half hard cock through his pants. You looked down and gasped, noticing the girth of his bulge inside his huge hand. Joel stepped back, smiling proudly, and moved into the house, dragging his feet. “Lemme know if you want a ride, sweetheart. Them blue pills are easy to get.” He turned and winked at you.
#maycore#mayb writes#joel miller x reader#joel miller x female reader#joel miller smut#peepaw can fuck#with some help#but he really can#dirty old man joel
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Thank you so much for the many stories you consistently update!! Out of curiosity, do you think you'll be updating the Scavengers, Pharma's, or Tarn's story soon? I didn't see them on the poll so I figured I'd ask. Not a request, I'm happy with whatever updates you post 💕
I will be updating them, too. That’s just for the 2k followers reward

L.G. Fuad Pt 8
Tarn x Reader
• Too shocked that he can just shrink to bother sulking about him force feeding you none too gently, you struggle to choke the dry, gritty bar down as quickly as possible. Then seize his big hand before he can try to dump you out of his lap and go back to being giant and scary. And he stiffens when you study him, but you doubt you’re ever going to get a better chance. Doesn’t hurt that he’s warm, either. He grumbles at you, the only word you can understand his stilted ‘human.’ He absolutely thinks that’s your name, but you doubt he’ll be any better at pronouncing your real name so you just roll with it. And peeking up to find his optics narrowed behind the mask, you’re so tempted.
• Listens to you chirp and chatter at him, as you examine his servos. And though he’s not sure why, he lets you gently manipulate his joints, your delighted little smiles spreading warm through his spark. Knows he should move you off his lap, definitely shouldn’t enjoy the warmth of you or the way you wiggle against him to lean your head on his chassis. It’s all too strangely intimate when it shouldn’t be. You’re not Cybertronian, you’re alien. But he can’t make himself move you as those soft fingers move to his wrist, then follow his arm up, before you shift to straddle his lap and he goes still. Because you have no idea what you’re doing to him, what those soft hands are doing. Free hand landing on your hip to push you away and just lingering instead. “You need to stop right now.” You glance up at him, chirping and he knows you can’t understand him. But you’re pressed intimately against his plating now, making him painfully aware of your soft warmth.
• It’s right there. Fingers skating over plating and dipping into seams to play with his joints, you pretend to be only interested in how his body fits together. And it is fascinating, but that mask is your real target. “You’re really warm, Phantom,” you say, voice soft and soothing like you’re coaxing an angry dog that’s likely to bite. Listening to him growl at you, you smile. “That’s right. I’m absolutely not up to anything. Just curious.” The mesh of his neck is warm and has surprising give to it when you stroke over it and you shift on him to get more comfortable.
• Horrified as his spike actually stirs behind his plating when you move against him, soft fingers lazily playing with the cables of his neck, he can hear his venting roughening. Why? Why is he responding to you? A little, organic. It’s blasphemous. What would Megatron think? Shouldn’t want to interface at all, it doesn’t further his mission. Doesn’t help him reach his goals. But his processor goes there anyway. Wanting and wondering if you could even take his spike. What you’d feel like under him. Servos flexing on your hip, tightening, it’s your startled sound and little fingers urgently trying to pry his hand loose that snap him out of it.
• Squirming and trying to get his servos off of you, because he’s gripping you hard enough to be uncomfortable. To begin to hurt and he pulls his hands away, shifts as if to dump you and you grab for the mask. Manage to lift up the bottom edge, get a glimpse of a scarred, handsome face before you wind up flat on your back, his hands seizing and pinning your wrists over your head as he reaches up to fix the mask. And his hands are shaking, you realize. Optics narrowed and furious as he snarls and you’re almost positive you just destroyed all of the good will, or at least, the tolerance you’d earned from him. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to see your face.” That harsh snarling has you trembling, makes you struggle to pull out of his grip as he slides a thigh between yours and watches you thrash.
• Venting raggedly as you try to squirm free, he tries to get himself under control. That white hot rage that you’d dared try to remove his mask still running through his lines, demanding a response. A punishment. And he’s still painfully hard, spike pulsing and aching where it’s trapped, because the idea of disciplining you is far too appealing. Needs away from you. Space to get himself back under control, because he shouldn’t want this. Shouldn’t want you. He’s beyond this.
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