#horrible phone pics of my tv

[rabbitrah]

[moongreenlight]

“Realistic Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley headcanons” and then it’s just the fun police.

Mdni. Nsfw below cut.

- It makes me want to scoop my fucking brain out with a spoon when people say that Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley is some shy, anxious soft boy. I really do not believe he’d need to be coddled after a nightmare or babied when he’s feeling angsty. He is fine, y’all. Please don’t call paw patrol.

He is a soldier. He’s a war criminal. He is traumatized to the point of numbness. He is fucked up and weird and insane and honestly I think that we should all let everybody have their thing.

I cannot fix him. I do not want to fix him. I can only make him worse.

- Sorry but I just cannot write him having any kind of romantic feelings toward Soap. I like writing their dynamic more brotherly.

Furthest they’ve gone is ‘locker room gay.’

Like Johnny sends him dick pics on occasion because he thinks it’s funny and it pisses Ghost off.

That being said, I do read the occasional Ghoap fic. I’m not a perfect person. Sometimes it’s just yummy delicious.

- Feel like he’s the kind of freak to intentionally go to the gym without headphones. Something about discipline. Opting to just stare at the wall in front of him while he’s doing cardio or counting repetitions of exercises.

But on the rare occasion that he does indulge himself, he has a playlist of like 5-6 songs he likes and when it ends he just goes back to silence. Divorced dad rock. Chorded headphones only.

- Doesn’t have the debilitating commitment issues as people paint him out to have. Just commitment-phobic. Obviously stems from his past. He’s got that sexy deep rooted fear of abandonment or something horrible happening to people he actually lets close to him. But he’s not completely turned off by the idea of romantic attachments or close friends, just a little hesitant to open himself up to that kind of opportunity.

Probably very cagey about romantic partners. Doesn’t want the guys to know about you. Doesn’t keep pictures of you around his bunk or anything like that. He’s worried it’ll somehow compromise your safety. Worried about you getting swept up in his work.

- Women’s rights? Or Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley? I really do think he’d love to have a partner who lets him provide *everything* for them. He just wants to serve and protect. Wants his bird to be in a gilded cage all nice and safe and reliant on him for survival.

Doesn’t even really like the idea of you going to the grocery store by yourself. Would prefer if you just stayed put and tended his home and cooked him meals and let him dote on you and provide everything you could ever need.

- Has a really strange understanding of technology. He’s fine with the newer military stuff. That’s his element. He can do electrical wiring, set up a TV, install security cameras. That’s all whatever. But a cell phone? He doesn’t give a shit enough to keep up with the new updates and all the new things you have to learn when you get a smartphone. Wishes he would have kept a flip phone.

Texts like this: [OK. See youtonight.]

MAYBE has a private Facebook with no profile picture where the only things on his wall are Price wishing him a happy birthday every year.

His camera roll is like; 97 accidental screenshots of his Lock Screen, a few pictures of him and the task force boys, the inside of his pocket (another accident), a sunrise, a few cool things he found on missions, 34 pictures of Soap and Gaz when they took his phone.

- Insufferable in the early stages of trying to date him. Little to no communication other than basically demanding you meet him somewhere. Texting or talking on the phone? Like pulling fucking teeth. You think he’d rather be dead.

It was a headache getting him to go out in the first place. Maybe you worked at a bar where the guys would come to have a drink after a long day. He’s a little stand-offish but he’s handsome and he knows how to banter well enough for you to be persuaded by a coworker to slip him your number after you complained one too many times about a shit hookup or yet another terrible first date. It takes him nearly two weeks to phone you.

“Didn’t think you’d call.”

“Didn’t think I would either.”

He takes you out once, you think he seems sort-of interested, then he doesn’t phone or text you back for three days. You get over it. A few more dates in. You can tell he’s a bit more relaxed. A bit more open. You’re less worried that you’re a terrible conversationalist. Then he goes on a month long deployment without saying anything in advance. Radio fucking silent yet again. You want to tear your hair out. When he finally gets back, he’ll text you something like [Atthat pub you like. Drinks ?] completely out of the blue. You think you may actually go insane.

- Once he’s gotten used to you, it’s like the sole purpose of his life is to be your protector even if you’ve only recently convinced yourself he may want something casual. You’re small and grab-able. He knows how nasty people can be and what think when they see you. He needs to know that you’re taken care of, kept safe from such a scary world.

So he’ll just linger around you. All the time. Standing behind you when you’re at the till at the store, staring down the cashier who was only trying to be friendly when they asked if you had any fun plans for the rest of the day. Big arms folded over his chest. Looming so largely he threatens to eclipse you without taking a single step forward. Eyes burning a hole into the poor person who hastily finishes the transaction without another word.

Walking silently next to you in the evenings after you’re both off work; close enough to brush shoulders, but that’s about it. Listening to you chirp on about your day. Occasionally offering a small grunt of acknowledgement or a few words of interjection. Always walks on the side of the path that he thinks could pose you the most immediate danger. Shielding you from what may lurk in a darkened alley or a hedge or a small thicket of trees.

Scary dog privilege, but like… for when you go to fill your car up with gas in broad daylight in a good part of town and he insists on standing out there with you. ‘Just in case’ If he even lets you out of the car in the first place.

- AND OFF THAT POINT. I think once he’s decided that he’s actually fond of you, it goes from zero to a hundred so fast it makes your head spin.

Like the last time you spoke, it was still unclear on if you were keeping things casual or not and now you’re at dinner and the waiter just asked him if the two of you wanted dessert and Simon just grunts “dunno. Ask the missus.” ??? He sucks so bad I NEED him.

- As much as I love an overly possessive and jealous Simon, I saw this tweet that said “My girlfriend can wear what she wants because she’s a hoe and I knew that before we started dating” and it changed my life.

He’s secure enough not to need to cause a scene if someone makes a pass on you in public. He understands that you’re attractive and that other people are bound to find you attractive too. (Not that he doesn’t still want to pull their fingernails out one by one, threatening them and everything they love for daring to exist near you. He’s just got better control over himself than that. King.)

He knows he’s better than any of your other options. Nobody else could keep you as safe as he could. They don’t know the world like he does. They don’t know how breakable you are. How sweet and naive you can be.

Not to say he isn’t overly jealous and possessive, he just won’t pitch a fit in public.

LIKE dragging him to the bar with your friends and he sits at the table with all of your drinks. Him watching you dancing out of the corner of his eye, seeing some prat come up and grab your ass in passing. Or a group of guys dancing with your friends getting a little *too* close to you for his liking. He doesn’t do anything while the two of you are out- not wanting to ruin your fun. But that night after you’ve gotten back to his flat (He insisted. Closer to the bar. Uber was cheaper.) and he’s tearing your miniskirt off like it’s personally offended him. He’ll be a little rougher. A little more liberal with the marks his mouth leaves on your collarbones and inner thighs. His strong hands will grab at the fat of your hips a little harder than he should- leaving bruises where his fingers dug in. He’ll lean over you while you’re split open with his length, snarling down at you. “Had everyone’s attention tonight, didn’t you, pet?“ “You like havin’ eyes on you?” “Greedy fuckin’ slag.” “Can’t appreciate what you have.” “Need a reminder of who you’ve got to impress.” Maybe he’ll take you in front of a mirror, massive hand fixed on your jaw. Jerking your face up so you have to look at yourself being ruined by him. How pretty and slutty you look when your makeup is ruined by the tears he’s fucking out of you.

- He calls you ‘bird’ or ‘pet’ more often than anything else. A little on the nose for how he treats you. Like you’re some small, frail thing that can’t go a day without him. Stripped of your natural survival instincts and instead leaning on him for support and comfort and food and shelter. Just how he likes it.

GOD he’s a fucking freak. Gross and mean and fucked in the head. Makes my stomach hurt. I hate him. I wish I was schizophrenic so I could vividly hallucinate him.

[punchdrunkdoc]

Part 4, Chapter 1

Summary: After the events of S3, Matt Murdock is trying to once again balance life as a lawyer and a vigilante. But he’s been scarred by loss and betrayal - will a mysterious new neighbour help him heal? Or will her secrets drag him back into the darkness? Notes: This is a slow burn romance with an original female character, told in 4 parts. There is mystery, intrigue, action/violence and angst - all the good stuff!

Also available on AO3 and Wattpad

Masterlist

Reference pics

I hope you don't mind the delay in me posting - especially after THAT cliffhanger. I wanted to give myself a buffer before posting. I've now got 6 chapters of part 4 written so I thought it was time to share some of it. Enjoy!

————–

PART 4

Chapter 1

Sound came back first.

Muffled. Distorted. As if he was deep underwater…

Then everything rushed in at once.

Sensation, scent, taste…everything coalesced, until he felt solid again, and the world around him took shape once more.

But it was an entirely different world to just a moment ago.

The air was colder, with a bite of frost in the wind. The spring perfume of flowers and pollen and freshly cut grass was now a thick miasma of neglect and decay. The storefront to his left seemed to shift and distort, slats of wood creeping up the window pane until it was nothing but an empty, abandoned husk, so different from the bustling bodega of five seconds ago. 

And as this new reality crystallised around Matt, so did the chaos.

Screams. Shrieks. Yelling. Cars crashing. Hundreds of heartbeats suddenly invading his senses. People appearing as if from thin air, and staggering around in confusion. Matt narrowly avoided colliding with a man to his right. A man who wasn’t there a second ago.

The man grabbed on to Matt’s arm, as if clutching at a lifeline. “What the fuck, man? What just happened?”

“I- I don’t know,” Matt replied, feeling just as lost as the other man sounded.

“Where’s my wife? I was just here with her? Where is she? Why is everything different? What the fuck is happening?” The man stumbled away, calling for his wife.

Calina.

The thought of her banished the last lingering threads of disorientation. Matt grabbed his phone and speed-dilated her number. He started jogging towards their apartment building as he waited for the call to go through.

But all he got was an audio alert instead, informing him that he had no network connection.

He shoved the device in his pocket and started running. For the second time in 24 hours, he started running towards the woman he loved, heart in his throat, fearing for her safety. Yesterday’s concern had been for nothing. A false alarm.

He had a horrible, sinking feeling that today would be different.

That feeling grew stronger as he reached his building and entered the lobby. The familiar blend of scents and sounds which normally occupied this space was gone. Gone was the smell of Mrs Schneider’s baking. Gone was the smell of talcum powder and milk from the baby in 2F. Gone was the aftershave of the mail carrier - a musky, woodsy scent that usually lingered long after the mail was delivered. The blaring TV in 3C was silent. The scratch of the author in 4D’s pen against paper was replaced by the dissonant sounds of rock metal blasting from a tinny speaker. The stomp of heavy boots could be heard in the apartment below that one, where this morning a frail, elderly man had lived alone.

Everything had changed. 

Everything in the fucking city was different, and he didn’t know why.

But the why could wait. He needed to get to Calina first.

He ran through the lobby and up the stairs, avoiding the rusted, disused elevator which had shuttled him to the ground floor only a few hours ago with no problem. He flew up the stairs, past the piles of trash discarded on the landings, and the cigarette butts littering the steps. He barged through the door to his floor and ran down the corridor, already calling out her name. “Calina!”

He reached her door and started hammering his fist against the wood. “Calina! Callie, sweetheart, open up!”

A man’s voice answered instead. “You have the wrong apartment, shithead!”

Matt staggered back as the door opened. A large man filled the door frame. “Will ya quit with all the fucking banging? My wife’s trying to slee-" The man paused, his temper retreating in an instant. When he spoke again it was in a much gentler voice - either he realised Matt was blind, or he could tell how utterly confused he was. “There’s no one here called Calina. You have the wrong address, man, sorry.”

“No- I- I don’t understand,” Matt stammered, shaking his head.

Just then a figure appeared behind the man in the doorway, walking with the distinctive waddle of someone heavily pregnant. She put her hand on the man’s arm and said in a choked voice. “Wait, Darren. It - it’s all over the news. They’re back. They’re all back!” She let out a sob, covering her mouth with her hand.

“What are you talking about,” Darren replied. He turned his back on Matt and fussed over his now crying wife. “Jenny, what’s going on?”

She ignored her husband, and addressed Matt. “You came back, didn't you? Just now?”

Matt shook his head. “No. I- I didn’t go anywhere.”

She pulled Matt into the apartment and in front of the television set. She pressed a button on the remote and it sprang to life in the middle of a breaking news alert.

“-as suddenly as it happened five years ago, all those who disappeared are now returning. We don’t know why, or why its happening now, but if you’ve been praying like I have for all of that time, your prayers have been answered - they have returned.” The news anchor’s voice was thick with emotion, her professional composure straining under the weight of what she was reporting. She took a deep breath, then launched into a more calm and collected statement. “We are getting reports that the unexpected re-appearances are causing some accidents across the city, so we’re advising viewers to stay in doors if possible, while first responders deal with-”

Matt turned away from the broadcast and scrubbed his hands over his face, two words echoing in his mind:

Five years.

Five. YEARS.

“Has it - has it really been that long?” he asked the couple. The couple now apparently living in Calina’s apartment. “What year is it?”

“It’s 2023,” Jenny replied gently, as if breaking bad news.

Which she absolutely was.

“Half the world - half the universe - disappeared in an instant when Thanos snapped his fingers,” she explained.

“Who the hell is Thanos?”

She sucked in a breath. “Wow. Okay, that’s a long story. Why don’t you sit down,” she offered. “I’ll make you some tea-”

“I think he needs something a little fucking stronger than tea, Jen,” her husband interjected. “How about a shot of whiskey, dude?”

Matt shook his head. “No. I need to find my- my girlfriend.”

“Calina?” Jenny guessed.

“Yes, she used to live here. I live - I lived - across the hall, and she was in this apartment. Do you know what happened to the previous tenant?”

“We only moved in last November - and the tenant before us was a young man. I’m afraid I don’t know your Calina.”

“But the place opposite is empty,” Darren added. “Has been for the full five years, according to Nick downstairs. Sometimes a-”

Matt didn’t wait to hear the rest of the sentence. He bolted through the apartment and across the hall to his own door. He fumbled in his pocket for his key, slid it into the lock and turned the handle, praying that somehow she’d be there, safe and whole and as desperate to see him as he was to see her-

But the wave of stale air that hit him told him straight away that Darren was right. No one was here. And no one had been here for a very long time.

He closed the door behind him and sank back against the wood, waiting for his heartbeat to return to normal. There was no point in checking the rest of the apartment. He could sense that it was cold and empty. Nothing but dust motes in the air. No scent of Calina. Not even a trace of himself.

Just a space that had been abandoned long ago.

So where was Calina?

She hadn’t disappeared while in her own apartment, otherwise she would have reappeared there, just like he’d reappeared on the street. She wasn’t here either…

So where else would she have gone this morning after he left her?

Matt checked his phone again, but it was still searching for a network. He threw it aside, ignoring the clatter as it smashed against the floor, and yanked open the front door again. He strode down the corridor, mentally composing a list of places she might have visited.

The coffee shop around the corner.

His office.

The library.

The dance studio.

He’d go to each one. If she’d reappeared in any of those spots, he’d find her scent and track her. Or maybe he’d run into her on the street as she made her way back here, battling through the throng of all the other returned souls.

He ignored the small voice inside him that whispered of a more dreaded possibility - that maybe she’d never disappeared in the first place. That maybe she’d stayed. Without him, all this time.

No. Matt refused to countenance it. He couldn’t bear to even think about it.

He would find her.

She was somewhere in the neighbourhood, and he would find her.

———

The world outside wreaked havoc on Matt’s senses.

Cries of anger and confusion rang in his ears, echoing the tumult of his own emotions. Shrieks of joy - at loved ones reunited - battled the darker sounds of despair. Car alarms blared from wreckages, the drivers having swerved around people who suddenly appeared right in front of them. Police sirens wailed. People lay injured on the sidewalks, their blood a coppery tang on the air. Adrenaline saturated every molecule around him.

Matt tried to block it out as best he could, but he was feeling just as shaken as the rest of New York - and the rest of the world, apparently. Every single person on earth, at the exact same moment in time, had just experienced the same seismic shift in reality. For the returned, and for those left behind, everything had changed in a matter of minutes. It felt like the very air was vibrating with the effects of that collective shock.

All Matt wanted to do was find Calina and take her in his arms. He felt like if he could just hold on to her, the world would stop spinning around him. If he could just breath her in - and replace all the pain and blood and fear with her beautiful scent - it would calm his soul.

He tried to focus on that goal, but there were too many people in need of his help. And he couldn’t be selfish, especially now. All he’d ever wanted was to help the people of his neighbourhood - and they needed help now more than ever.

So on the way to his first destination, he staunched the bleeding from a gashed leg, waiting with the shaken woman as the EMTs arrived. He battered down a boarded up doorway to free the old man trapped inside. He followed the sound of weeping to a small child huddling in an alleyway. He lifted the trembling little boy in his arms and carried him to the nearest police officer.

“Thanks,” the officer said, patting the child on his back. “There’s a holding area a block over where all the kids are waiting for their parents - I’ll take him there and make sure he’s safe.”

“Is there anything else I can do around here to help?” Matt asked. “You look like you have your work cut out for you.”

“Nah, man, it’s actually calmed down a lot compared to an hour ago. And now we’re just seeing lots of happy reunions, so it’s actually a good day.” Matt could hear tears in the officer’s voice, the emotion hitting him hard. “Can you imagine what this little one’s parents are feeling, racing over here to get ‘im?”

“I imagine its a whole lot of relief and joy.”

“Yeah. We never thought it would happen - that people would come back. It’s…” The man tailed off, unable to finish the painful thought. “Anyway, you should go, man. Go find your loved ones.”

Matt nodded, and started heading in the direction of Calina’s favourite coffee shop, hoping his loved one was there.

She wasn’t.

But it seemed like half the population of Hell’s kitchen was.

The place was teeming, with people spilling out of the door and lining up around the block trying to get in. The reason became clear when a harried-sounding waitress borrowed a bullhorn from a nearby police van and stood on a table to address the crowd. “The wifi is down! I’m sorry to all of you who are waiting to try to use it, but the internet servers have crashed due to the sudden surge of traffic. You can come in if you’re buying coffee, but if you’re trying to get on the net, its offline!”

Complaints and frustrated cries rose from the crowd. The teenage girl beside him started to sob. “But I need to email my mom or something! My phone’s not working and I don’t know her number.”

Matt tried to reassure her. “I’m sure your mom’s on her way here. The police have set up a holding area on the corner of 95th and 45th. If you go there, I’m sure she’ll be able to find you.”

“Really?” she sniffled. “Okay. I’ll try that. Thanks.”

The girl took off running, and Matt moved on to his next option for finding Calina - the dance studio.  But it was deserted, the door sealed off with thick slabs of wood. So many businesses along the route were in a similar state of abandonment, the once thriving, bustling neighbourhood having fallen into a state of neglect.

As he walked to the library, the wide cracks in the pavement swallowed the tip of his cane, and the stench of garbage left lying on the street overwhelmed his nose. Rats scurried behind bushes and hundreds of pieces of paper fluttered in the wind. They were stuck to trees and pasted to shop windows, curled and dried scraps that rustled in concert with the dying fall leaves.

It was eerie. As if he was wandering through a decaying world.

Signs of life returned as he neared the library. Similar to the coffee shop, it was full of frustrated people trying to contact their loved ones through an internet that had failed. Matt forced his way through the crowd and into the main room…but there was no evidence of Calina. Matt tried to stay optimistic, but his hopes of finding her were dwindling. And he only had one place left to try: his law firm.

Which, as it turned out, was no longer his law firm.

Matt’s first clue that something had drastically changed was the odour in the stairwell. Gone was the faint scent of printer fluid, and the musty smell of the textbooks which lined the walls of Foggy’s office. Gone was the ever-present aroma of stale, bitter coffee. All the familiar smells were replaced by the strong stench of acetone. Matt’s nostrils twitched with the acrid smell as he reached the outer door. He brushed his hand over the wall to the right, where the embossed sign ‘Nelson, Murdock and Page’ should have been found. A noticeboard resided there instead, layered with old, curled up pieces of paper which crinkled beneath his fingers.

Matt pushed open the door, already knowing his trip here was futile - there was no scent of Calina anywhere.

“We’re closing!,” a voice called out. “In case you haven’t noticed, the world’s gone crazy - again! Your manicure, or facial, or whatever, will have to wait.”

That explained the acetone smell, Matt thought. His office - the home of the law firm he’d set up with his closest friends, the place where he’d been given a second chance to work with them - was now a beauty salon.

“No, I was looking for someone,” Matt said, stepping into the shop.

“You mean the guy who poofed into here and gave us all a heart attack?”

“Wait, Foggy was here?” Matt had been concentrating so much on finding a trace of Calina, he’d overlooked the scent of his friend. Which - now that he was paying attention - was lurking beneath the chemical smell of the salon. It was fresh - barely a couple of hours old - which placed Foggy here at the time of everyone’s ‘return’.

Foggy had disappeared, just like him.

Matt exhaled, relieved to know the fate of at least one person in his life. “Was there a woman here too? A tall blonde?” he asked, wondering about Karen. She used to change her perfume daily, so it was always more difficult to pick her out of a crowd.

“No. Your friend asked that too. But we haven’t seen her in years. She used to come and collect the mail when we first took over the lease, but then she stopped. Moved out of the city, I think.”

Karen had stayed?

Shit. He and Foggy had disappeared, and she’d been left behind?

God, what had the last five years been like for her?

Matt thanked the woman and left, his head spinning. He trudged down the stairs and out onto the street again. The chaos from earlier had subsided, just as the police officer said. The confusion and mayhem had given way to some semblance of order, and the noise had quieted.

Which wasn’t exactly a good thing, from Matt’s perspective. That noise had helped to drown out his thoughts. His trek through the city - helping people and searching for Calina - had given him a goal to focus on, with no time or energy left to spiral into worst case scenarios.

But now…that was all he could think about.

What if she’d stayed, just like Karen? What if Calina had been here the whole five years? Without him.

Matt rubbed a hand over his chest as he walked, the pain of that thought causing his heart to pound and a nauseating oily pit of dread to open up in his gut.

No. God wouldn’t be that cruel, would he?

No. She was probably back in his apartment right now, waiting for him. She could have gone to that bagel shop she liked and disappeared from there. Or to the Widows’ house. There were a million places in the city that he hadn’t checked. The sensible plan was to go back to his place and wait for her there.

Matt stuffed down the feeling of dread, and focussed on his new goal. Until he had proof that she’d stayed, he would keep searching.

Keep hoping.

He headed back to his apartment, this time avoiding the more run-down, paper-strewn areas, sticking to the busier streets. He concentrated on the sounds of news alerts and police announcements and the thud of his feet hitting the pavement, one after the other. He concentrated on everything but the doubts and fears trying to weasel their way into his head.

His new route took him down a familiar street, one he’d walked just this morning - back in 2018. He felt a pang of guilt as he found himself standing in front of Clinton’s church yet again.

Maggie.

His thoughts this morning had been of Calina, and Foggy and Karen. He hadn’t spared much concern for his mother, which made him feel like a terrible son.

But they didn’t exactly have that kind of relationship.

Still, he wanted to check on her, now that he was here. He made his way down the gardenia-lined pathway to the rectory at the back of the building and knocked on the door. He waited a few minutes, but there was no answer. He walked around to the church entrance and slipped inside. A woman was sat on a pew at the front, being consoled by the priest. Maggie was nowhere to be found, but her scent was overwhelmingly rich, layers of it hanging in the air - proof that she’d been here these last five years. Proof that she’d been here less than an hour ago.

The elderly priest looked up at the sound of Matt’s cane tapping the tiled floor. “Do you need help, my child?”

“No, Father. I was just looking for Maggie.”

“She left to be with the children - the one’s who’ve returned. The police came asking for volunteers and she ran right out to help.”

Matt nodded. That sounded like Maggie. “Can you let her know that her so- that, um, Matthew came by? And that I’m okay?”

“Yes. I will. I’m sure she’ll be very relieved.”

“I hope so. Thank you, Father.”

Matt left the church and continued his trek back to his apartment, grateful that Maggie was alive and well. As he turned down his street, he picked up his pace, the hope that Calina might be waiting for him overtaking the negative thoughts that were still trying to intrude. He jogged up the steps and into the lobby, then sprinted up the stairs once he was out of sight. He crashed through the door to his landing, and reeled to a stop, his heart pounding in surprise.

Because someone was there waiting for him.

————–

Chapter 2

Tag list: @hollandorks @stilldreaming666 @sio-ina-bottle @tearoseart-blog @acharliecoxedfan @freckledbabyyy @chezagnes

If you’d like to be added - let me know!

[loressa]

Burgertime

----

Salt, fat, sizzle, sear - the components are basic and mandatory. The burger is the star and never let anyone tell you otherwise...even if that someone is a stupid bullshit Goodwill microwave because *someone* (Brenda in HR) is too fucking cheapass to upgrade.

I dont have time for this - Timmons needs a submit by noon for a merge by five because Perkins is absolutely horrible at his job - but fuck Perkins. I want a burger, specifically MY deliciously seared burger from last night, so it's time to settle in and wait. Triple beep on that idiot machine (fuck you, Brenda) and the microwave power's at 50% for that slow, deep reheat.

Some TV while we wait - Pedro seems to be really doing it dirty to Janessa Maria. Would NOT be surprised if he ends up stabbed with all those side chicas he's had going for weeks.

Annoyingly, the lunchroom TV cuts from daytime telenovelas to grainy cellphone zooms of movie monsters spilling out of weird machines. I check on my burger - ten minutes left and still rotating nicely, despite all expectations - and then focus back on the news again.

Invasion. Aliens. Doom. This channel sucks. Flip through a few, but it's all the same broadcast - burger doing great - and that's when I realized what's happening.

This bullshit castoff Oliver of a microwave is all please-maam-may-I-have-moreing my burger into a dry, shitty crumble. Fuck you, Brenda. Power down even lower, might help, has to help. I still hate Brenda.

Back to ten minutes and what is this bullshit on the TV. Timmons' task floats into my head and I kick myself - I didn't drop those completed components into code review. By the time I get back from that, we're at eight minutes, the burger is lightly sizzling and I've realized the entire office is empty.

Fucking corporate yoga. I can even hear them upstairs - graceful, my ass, they sound like elephants tap dancing. Seven minutes to heaven, though, so who gives a shit. I think I'll add some BBQ sauce, just to be heathenous.

I hear a crash from the area near Perkins' desk, but who cares. The guy is a mess. Six minutes. Looking juicy. Another crash. Did they have a lunch out? Perkins *likes* to drink, why do you think he's useless after lunchtime?

Flip channels for a bit, but it's all the same stupid YouTube alien movie promo crap - five minutes, die in a fire, Brenda - so I browse Reddit looking at food pics. Another crash and now it's starting to seem a bit weird. I glance at the microwave, mouth almost aching - four minutes - and sigh. Gotta help Perkins.

Aaaand, nope, that's an alien. That's totally, completely, absolutely, how the fuck is that an alien. He's... she's? It's tall, scaly, oozy, slimy, totally not human, pure nightmare factory, and appears to be baffled by a stapler. Why does Perkins even have a stapler?

You how know under pressure our brains turn into trapped rats trying to find the easiest way out and we think and do amazing shit? So yeah, three minutes left and burger is looking good.

I thank my Brenda-esque brain for absolutely nothing and dart back into the lunchroom, which has apparently become my safe house against an alien invasion. Yay, I always wanted to fight for my life surrounded by old egg salad and leftover pasta.

Right about now is when I realize my problem. See, the microwave has been going with an ambient hum since Sumeria was the shit, so any changes are going to be instantly noticed...and we're at two minutes left. Also the burger is looking amazi-

Right, yeah, pull it together girl. Fuck you, Brenda. With a REAL microwave, I would have been out of here alr-

Well, hold on now. I creep back to the door. The alien's apparently given up on staplers and is kinda scanning the room. Like, literally, scanning. There's old 90s style movie graphics sprouting out of his/her/its eyes.

One minute left - hi burger, you're beautiful - and I'm fumbling with my phone. This whole situation is stupid enough, might as well try....

And there we are. WiFi scanner is picking up something absolutely weird and confusing, clearly some sort of network we can't identify. The alien's got some tech - or biology? - emitting a signal.

I groan. I know the answer. I hate the answer. I sigh. I curse fucking Brenda. 10 seconds left. I back away and close my eyes. Everyone sacrifices in trying times.

3, 2, 1 - the rotation stops and the stupid little defunct microwave gives a happy chirp of a ding. Done! Aren't you proud of me? Never, Brenda-spawn.

A claw appears around the door. Oh fuuuuck, yep, this is happening. I duck down behind a table and reach up to fumble at the microwave door. Hopefully aliens aren't vegan. I manage to jab it open and suddenly the delicious, intoxicating smell of the perfect burger floods the lunchroom, rich and redolent.

Apparently demons like burgers, but I was counting on this. Everyone likes burgers unless they are useless bitches named Brenda. S/he/it leaps for the microwave and I slide sideways - this is a horrible idea - putting myself closer to her as my arms fumble at the countertop. Oh, god, it stinks like childhood trauma and ozone. Too late now and here we go - the creature realizes I'm here far too late, flailing and turning with way too many arms writhing about. His head is at the same level of the counter top, body coiled to strike.

My lunging fall nearly fails, apparently my aim is terrible, but I trip on a chair and surge upwards again, hands finally wrapping around the microwave.

"You like to transmit shit about Earth?????!" I want to scream but instead I just kinda squeak as I grab the horrible microwave with its beautiful payload and slide the entire thing over the creature's head.

"Farrady cage?" I whisper hopefully, quickly backing away, because that - and my burger - was really all I had. For a second, the alien is still, simply standing there with his/her/its head crammed in a microwave, before its head gives a sudden, anticlimactic plop and sinks to the ground, ooze puddling out on his/her/its shoulders.

As the creature falls, his/her/it's body gives a shake, some final death throe, and, with a rattle, a little brown disc comes soaring out of the microwave. It's a beautiful, heartwarming moment. The alien's dead, Berlin is playing take my breath away and I've been reunited with my hamburger.

The rest of earth can wait a few more minutes for me to save it. This shit is finally hot and ready and it's lunchtime for momma.

[drawing-way-outside-the-lines]

➖ Mature content, 18+ ➖ check the trigger tags each time ➖      

Chapter 12 - The Depression pt 2. Episode 3.

------Andy's point of view-----

Andy: *I got up quickly as Congo's question fell. I walked to Evans bike and slowly picked it up, taking a quick look, but it was hard too see much in the darkness.* It looks fine… few scratches. But nothing I can't fix up *I smiled softly at both Congo and Evan.*

Congo: *He smiled softly back at me* Alright, you take Evan to the truck, and I will throw that sad thing up on the back of it *he pointed at the bike*

Andy: *I didn't disagree and let go of the bike as soon as Congo grabbed it, quickly making the few meters to Evan and reached a hand for him' Here, I'll help you up.

Evan: *He smiled somewhat apologizing and grabbed on to my hand, grunting lightly from pain as I dragged him up from the ground* Thank you.

Andy: *I chuckled hoarse* I'm not done with you! *Before he knew what was coming, I scooped one arm around his back, and one behind his thighs, lifting him up in my arms, Princess style and grinned at him cheekily* No way I will let you walk to the truck!

Evan: *He shook his head, but it was easy to see he was too tired to protest. He just leaned his head against my shoulder and let me carry him all the way to the truck*

Andy: *All the way home in the truck, he leaned his head on my shoulder, at a point I think he even managed to doze off. But as soon as we drove into the garage, he opened his eyes and stated protesting my intentions of carrying him again. I gave up one that debate, mostly cause Congo needed help getting the bike off the tuck again. Once Congo and I were done, I kissed him goodnight and agreed with him it was better I went to check on Evan instead of following Congo to bed, as I would do most nights. I went to the tv room first, but as the only sign of him was his muddy clothes on the floor, I quickly found my way to the bathroom. He had made himself a bath, and was soaking in the warm water. I undressed slowly.* Can I join you?

Evan: *He smiled softly* No. I prefer you just stand there and look pretty.

Andy: *I laughed loudly* Oh so sassy!

Evan: Yeah, who would have known you were contagious?

Andy: *I laughed again and was about to sink into the water as he pointed at the sink*

Evan: Andy… please grab my phone. There's something I wanna show you.

Andy: *I looked at him questioning, grabbed the phone and handed it to him, then let myself slowly sink into the warm water, sitting opposite him, facing him with a soft smile* So what is it you want to show me? Dick pics?

Evan: *Somewhat blushed*

Andy: *My voice came out way more exited than intended* It IS dick pics, isn't it?

Evan: Uh… in some ways, yeah…

Andy: Can't say I didn't become very eager at this point… and so did my rising boner.

Evan: I uh…. Gaby and I bumped into each other tonight… uh… I don't know if you remember that night in February where we were at that cemetery?

Andy: *I thought to myself how the fuck could I forget that?! It was night, it was foggy, it was quite mild in the weather for February, only a bit chilly. We were drunk, and suddenly a devil had flown into Evan, not literally, I'm just painting a picture here… And he ended up fucking my brains out, right there on the dirty ground of the cemetery. And sorta also against some old grave stones… and would I be really horrible if I said on top of one as well? Fuck that shit was fucking hot! I bit my lips just by the thought of it. Feeling my temperature rise.*

Evan: Andy?

Andy: *Maybe the hottest thing was in fact that when we were done, and we headed out of the cemetery, we had bumped into Gaby and George, they were out for a night stroll…. and it was clear to see in their sneaky facial expressions that they had not only heard us, but damn well also seen us. Would I be really bad if I told you it had only turned me on even more?*

Evan: ANDY! I'm talking to you!

Andy: *I chuckled hoarse* Sorry. Yeah, I do remember… of course *I smiled cheekily at him and once again bit my lip*

Evan: *He blushed lightly and looked at his phone* Gaby…. she uh… she told me that uh… that she took some pics of us that night…. you know… us uh…. *he blushed even more*

Andy: She did what?!?! *My level of excitement made several litres of what splash over the edge of the tub and down on the floor as I tried to grab the phone, almost drowning both the phone, Evan and I in the process*

Evan: Hey hey! Careful now! And let me finish please!

Andy: *I sighed deeply* Alright alright…

Evan: *He shook his head* Anyway… I was having a talk with Gaby, about you and me… my parents… and about uh… you know *he blushed bright red and I can't say I didn't enjoy being able to make him blush like this*

Andy: Us having sex?

Evan: Yeah *he nodded softly*

Andy: Gay sex…

Evan: Shut up will you?! *He aggressively splashed water at me, and I couldn't help but laugh loudly* I'm not gonna tell you if you don't pull yourself together now! *It's safe to say I shut up right there, and as he frowned I couldn't help but feel proud he finally seemed to open up to someone.* So… I talked with Gaby, about you and I…. having sex… and how I like when you sometimes… you know… touch me there…. and when you… *he cleared his throat and fumbled nervous with his phone* When you… use your finger inside me.

Andy: *I knew where he was going, but hearing him say it out loud drove me insane. We had only done that a few times by now, but as far as I had understood, he had liked it every time. I nodded softly* Go on please…

Evan: *He smiled shyly and cleared his throat once again* I uh… started telling her about how I the first time you did that to me… you know, on the vacation with you and Congo… at the beach house… in the end of February… *Oh god yes, I knew what he meant, and couldn't help but bite my lips again* I liked it… don't get me wrong… but it was still early in our relationship… and I was still sorta scared you would change your mind about me…. That I wouldn't be enough for you or… I don#t know… it seems stupid now after my talk with her. But I was sorta afraid you would come to your senses and figure you didn't love me anyway…. or something like that. *He looked at me in an apologizing way* I'm sorry I doubted you… it was not really your fault, I was just very insecure. Well I still am with some things… this is still new for…

Andy: Evan… I know. Don't apologize, please *I smiled softly* Don't worry about it okay? Just go on… please.

Evan: *He sighed softly* Well, she assured me I didn't have anything to be worried about back then. Cause she had already known way before our trip that our love was already… and this was her words… blossoming strongly *he chuckled softly and shook his head* Yeah, that was her words. Anyway… she said she had proof. And when I asked her what proof she was talking about, she made me swear I wouldn't get angry. And then…. uhm… she showed me the pics she had taken that night…. in the cemetery. She had later transferred them from her camera to her phone, in case she would need them as proof one day. *He cleared his throat again and dried a bit of sweat of his forehead before continuing* Uh… she said that although most of the pictures were just plain fucking… in various positions, it was clear towards the end that it was more than basic needs. We had gotten closer, and at the end started embracing each other during the sex act. And afterwards, we had not only been kissing for at least 15 minutes, but also gotten more and more loving and cuddling towards each other. And as Gaby said… the love was unmistakeably surrounding the cemetery.

Andy: *I kept starring at him for a while, not knowing whether to cry or hump him. I was just so overwhelmed by the whole damn thing. But in a good way. A very good way.*

Evan: *He smiled shyly and handed me the phone* If you want to have a look?

Andy: Fuck yeah! *I grabbed the phone eagerly* I thought you would never ask! *A few minutes later I had gone through the pictures twice. And if I didn't know better, I would say that Gaby was the new chief photographer at a porn magazine. Cause man those pics were not only explicit, but also some of the hottest I had ever seen! But she was right. The last few of them, was Evan and I… deeply in love. It was written all over our bodies and faces. So tender. So much love. All the way back in the beginning of February. I couldn't believe it. Well, I knew already then that I was deeply in love with him. Heck I knew that already in December! But that he was that much in love with me already? I didn't have any words for it. So I did the only thing my mind could come up with, except me once again crying like the little bitch I am…. I let his phone fall to the floor, safely landing on a soft dry towel. Grabbed his wrists and pulled both of us out of the bath tub. And before he could get to say a word, I grabbed his ass, lifted him up against the bathroom wall, pinned his back against it, kissing him greedy as I got a better grip on him. Then I carried him to bed, sitting on my hips with his legs around me, kissing him wildly, as if I wanted to devour him. Threw him on the bed, and crawled on top of him, twirling my wet fingers over his hole, making him relax as he moaned in my mouth. And then, just as I let one of my fingers slide inside him, he came with a loud moan. Damn that was some good pictures!!!*

[faghubby]

Swinging all the way down the slide part 6

I woke to knock on the door. I had slept horrible the tiny cage had woke me several times.

"Come in" I called out

"Your trainer is here" Kevin told me. I just jumped out of bed and saw a pink workout gear sitting on my dresser. I slid on the yoga pants and oversized top. And went downstairs. Where I met Nick. Nick was a typical gym rat guy. Worked out everyday. Nick took me into the home gym. It was huge.

"So we have to work on some key issues. First your ass" he told me.

"I don't want you working your arms or chest at all. We can shrink them down" he had me do squats till my legs burned. I was tired and starving. So when he tried to push me to do more I popped off at him.

"THEN YOU DO THEM" I YELLED. he grabbed me and pulled me over his lap. Pulled down my pants and spanked me.

"You don't yell at me, you don't yell at anyone ever again." He told me. I was crying and wanted to run and hide.

"Now get back to it" he told me

"Yes, sir" I answered

"Good you are learning" my workout took 3 hours. I was exhausted. When I went to shower. Kevin knew I skipped breakfast bought me a smoothie. I gulped it down. It was different but still gross. I showered my nipples where swollen and very sensitive. I looked thru my drawers and closet and realized I had lot more clothes then I had bought yesterday. There was also a whole jewelry box full of things.

I tried to do my makeup. And failed. Kevin walked in didn't knock. He handed me another smoothie and watched as I finished it.

"Can I use the phone" I asked

"To call who" he asked

"Oksana my wife" I answered

"Not this week" he replied. Then had me sit as he fixed my makeup and hair, he spun me in the chair and I was looking straight at his crotch. With out even thinking I reached out and held his cock.

"Go ahead" he said and I unzipped his pants. Pulled out his cock and sucksd it he came in my mouth and I didn't swallow. Instead I waited.

"Show me" he said and I opened my mouth.

"Good girl swallow" he said and waited till I fixed his pants.

"No one asked or told you to do that, you decide all on your own" he pointed out as he left. I put on a sun dress. And went down stairs.

Treasa was home. She was in the library.

"Tracy come here" She said she handed me books on edicate and submitting to a man.

"You should read all of theses" She told me.

"And I set up new social media accounts for you. Keep them current and an Email it's all excusable from the TV in your room. Then she dismissed me. I thought for a second.

"Thank you Ms Tereasa" She smiled a little and I left.

I went back to my room and found the social profiles there where lots of pics of me dressed or bent over. My friends list included my entire family. I had no way of explaining all this to them so I looked at the books. They were all older it was how to treat your husband from the 40s. I started on the first book. Kevin bought me a smoothie for lunch.

"The Doctor is here to see you" he told me as a well dressed man of about 50 entered the room.

"Please disrobe" he stated plainly. Kevin left with the empty glass. I disrobed. And stood naked in front of this man. He inspected all the piercings.

"Any discomfort or swelling ?" He asked

"No sir" I responded

He had me bend over and looked at my ass.

"Any diarrhea or constipation. Your pussy looks like no permanent damage"

"Any issues with your throat? Your voice sounds deep and scratchy" he stated spraying something in my mouth.

I just telling him everything seemed fine.

"I am going to up the hormones" he told me.

"Hormones?" My voice barely a whisper.

"The smoothie" he indicated. I was now panicked over my voice.

"Yes the spray will soften your tone after awhile he handed me the bottle

"Twice a day" he told me. He then gave me a shot in the ass.

"I will be back in a few days" he turned and left. I got dressed. Kevin came in around 4pm

"You are to be ready to go out by 6pm." He told me pulling a pink gown from my closet. I showered and touched up any shaving. Then got dressed. Kevin must have picked everything I found pink lingerie with the dress and shoes as well. I dressed in a pink thong. And demi cup bra with silicone inserts. A garter and stockings. My shoes where 3 inch high. Nothing I wore wasn't pink. Teresa came and fixed my makeup. It was quite heavy. I looked like a hooked. She put a pink collar around my neck that said Antonio's. And led me downstairs.

"Head down and be respectful" She told me as I stood in the hall. Antonio walked in. I curtsied another man followed him in.

"So this is Tracy" he said kissing my cheek. They led me into the Den.

On a table in the center of the room we're dozens of dildos. All big some massive.

"How big can you take Tracy? " the man asked. As Kevin poured them drinks.

"Show us" Antonio said. He unzipped my dress and let it fall to the floor. There was lots of lube. I found the smallest and lots of lube. Pulled my thong to the side and worked it in my ass. As the men watched. Several other men arrived. One picked up a bigger toy and handed it to me. I took it and removed the other working the larger one in. Some watched me others just talked among themselves.

Another man found a much bigger toy and told me to use it.

It was at least a foot long and 2 inches thick. I had barely worked it in when he handed me a thicker toy. Looked around and saw a dozen barely clothed woman taking men out of the room. Or sucking their cocks right in front of everyone. This one skinny man who watched me told me to use a bigger thicker toy.

It was 18 inches long and I could bare fit two hands around it. That sectioned cupped to the table. I tried over and over to get it in. Finally it popped and the tip slid in. I screamed as it did. My knees bucked and even more slid in. My penis flowed like a river into my panties. As now several men watched. The man who kept picking toys stood on the table and dropped his pants he wore no underwear so his cock slapped my face. I grapped it shoved down my throat he wasn't more the 5 and half inches. And he finished quick. He pushed my shoulders down forcing more of the toy in. The pain made me scream yet I needed more. I orgasmed and came as it dripped from my cage. Antonio came and lifted me off of the enormous toy. He pushed his whole hand inside me.

"Now you are broken" he told me. "You are mine forever" I looked up and saw Oksana

"He bought you from me" She told me. "Good bye Tracy"

Antonio shoved his cock in my mouth and I never hesitated I just took it all. And knew I had found my place.

[jonnnysuh]

could we get along with svt in real life?

A collaborative series by @vernonsnostrils and me (Nala)!

A/N: Lately Bee and I have been doing daily rankings for fun and we decided to share our very very specific and dumb insights with all of you. For this one we're ranking who we think could tolerate us......... <3 Warning: Dumb info ahead

NALA:

13.Wonwoo – looks scary. I also have a rbf so imagine us together omg. Everyone would think we’re vampires. No one would want to be friends with us so we’d only have each other.

12.Woozi – I feel like I know nothing about him :-( He’s an amazing musician, and does come off as a little tiny bit mischievous. I feel like Woozi is the type of guy I have every class with but then we graduate never saying a word to each other.

11. Jun – I think Jun is funny as hell but he’s so quiet. I’d want to be his friend but I wouldn’t know how to approach him. Everyone loves him tho so he has his pick of friends and it does not include me LMAO

10. Jeonghan – (this one kind of doesn't make sense bc he should be higher on the list,, but also?? i'm the one who made this list so fite me) but I think that me and him are pretty similar. We both have a side that’s devious and wants to create havoc but we’re also the mom friend that takes care of everyone and with that I feel like we’d butt heads/ be the designated parents which is EW I am 20 years old,, I'm no one's mommy YUCK.

9. Joshua – he’s also quiet but I know he has a good sense of humour!!!! Hypes up my bad ideas bc he’s not involved -- but he will be giving me a thumbs up in the sidelines. I feel like he’s the type to make me text the guy I have a crush on “Just do it. What do you have to lose?” UM my dignity??? Tf Josh.

8.DK – The human version of a “pick-me-up” He is so “no thoughts, head empty” and I am too. Let’s go cloud watching !!!!!!!!! Let’s pick flowers !!!! A good friend to text on a bad day bc he will literally tell you the most embarrassing thing that happened to him, and even though you’ve heard it before it’ll still make you laugh.

7. The8 – simple, really. He likes art and I love art. He likes fashion, I like fashion. I feel like we could talk shit together LMAO. He has the most specific roasts but they’re always on point. I need someone who’s a little bit mean in my life <3

6. Mingyu – I know I could bully him jokingly and he’d take it (bc he knows I’m joking) but it wouldn’t stop him from pouting a bit. I feel like he’d be scared of me at first LMAO. We both share the hobby of photography so my ideal day out with him is just wandering around with cameras and taking pics of things we think are beautiful. Also forcing each other to pose in front of a dirty brick wall bc “IT LOOKS COOL, TRUST ME.” “WAIT I DON’T KNOW HOW TO POSE THO” and then he’d literally have to mold me into a good pose bc I am Play-doh

5. Vernon – The calm to my crazy, convinces me not to beat someone’s ass. Walks into my room to say nothing else but “Spaghetti” and then leaves quietly. Doesn’t talk to me for 5 months but will send me a meme at 5am bc it reminded him of an inside joke we had. Live-texts his emotions to me while watching tv shows, and shares new conspiracy theories with me. He’s a little bit too chill, I need someone ready to fuck shit up.

4. S Coups – is reliable and gives good advice bc he’s also a ball of anxiety. Nags me to do the right thing. Messes with me a lot. Would stay on the phone with me if I was home alone and told him I heard a noise. Says “Calm down there’s no one there.” BUT he’d also say shit like “check under your bed”

3. Seungkwan– I feel like we’re just as annoying as each other. He has the biggest heart and is super encouraging and thoughtful. Half the time we’re joking around, and the other half we’re fighting. Very much love-hate. Capricorns and virgos are a superior duo. I said it.

2. Hoshi– all round good vibes. Chaos and Loudness matched. Doesn’t always have to be around a lot of people bc he creates the fun when it’s just us two. The kind of friend I practice flirting on and everyone’s like ??? “You’re in love with him” no bro I’m just bored… we just do this kind of shit and he is IMMUNE to my lovey antics by now.

1.Dino– We bully each other a lot but we also have each other’s backs. Definitely not ride or dies tho bc we will tell each other when the other fucked up. We are sarcastic dumb dumbs and that’s why we like each other. I feel like he would only tell me how much he cares about me on my birthday.

BEE:

13. mingyu – i literally don’t know what i would say to mingyu. “tall man” or “what up big boy.” i would be scared of him until someone taught me how not to be. like i gotta hang out with him in a group setting for three months straight until i can say hi to him when i enter a room. if i saw him i would simply just Not See Him.

12. wonwoo – like mingyu i don’t know if i’d have anything to say to him. him and mingyu both have popular high school boy personalities and that scares me.

11. josh – besides being californian, i don’t know if we’d have anything to talk about outside of in n out and traffic. he’s too pretty for me.

10. The8 – i feel like we’ve been over this for me. he’s too intellectual and polite i wouldn’t have much to say to him. but i feel like we could talk good shit about other people.

9. jun – i think i get along well with people with quiet funny personalities. like the kind where you don’t have to necessarily say anything but look at them and they’re telling you what they’re thinking. he knows that i know. so he kept reacting and looking at me. i think it’d take a while to develop a friendship though.

8. jeonghan – i wanna cause chaos with jeonghan. i want to do lots of things with jeonghan i feel like he would give me piggyback rides while sliding with his socks on the floor. he would tease me and i would be offended for five minutes while he pretends to tell me he’s sorry (he’s not).

7. dino – dino and i would be like twins building a sandcastle on the beach. that’s our vibe. like the kids you meet on vacation and play pirates with at the pool. relegated to the kids table kind of vibe.

6. scoups – he’s like the type to play catch with the stuffed animal in the room while we sit on the floor and chat. like he just arrived and is asking me about my day and picks it up from my bed and we throw it around while talking.

5. seungkwan – i think seungkwan and i could sit and talk outside on the patio when the stars are bright. like we could sit outside and stare out at the stars while i talk about my biggest dreams and don’t even need to see him to know that he thinks the world of me

4. hoshi – i see a lot of face masks. hoshi teaches me how to dance while they rest on our faces, but they keep sliding off because we’re laughing too hard. he has immaculate vibes, like the type to say “here for a good time not for a long time” but it’s an absolute lie because he’s there for both.

3. woozi – although i like to joke that he’s an evil little man, i think we could talk a lot about music and he would be very happy to teach me what he knows, and we’d spend a lot of time developing ideas and growing together.

2. vernon – he has the personality of my irl best friend, like a slightly chaotic aquarius who is horrendously hard to reach like 99% of the time. he’s the kind of guy who would try to make dinner but end up fucking it up so horribly that when i come in it’s like smoky and awful and the fire alarm is going off, so i have to air out the apartment and go get takeout and bring it home to my burned smelling apartment and eat it on the floor of the living room while binge watching a new netflix show.

1. dk – i just love the kind of joy and energy he radiates, like would be excited to do anything at all if it’s with me. would love to accompany me on any task if i just asked, like getting ice cream at 10pm and he’d know exactly what kind of flavor he’d get so it could accompany mine well when we inevitably switched halfway through the cone. saves the bottom of the cone, the chocolate tip, for me because he knows it’s my favorite.

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

A Place To Call Home: Halloween

Summary: A casual Halloween night out for some drinks between the reader, TJ and Cody becomes anything but when the reader thinks she may have been drugged at a bar. When she calls Jensen for help, their relationship takes a fundamental change...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x foster daughter!reader

Word Count: 6,100ish

Warnings: language, drinking, drugging, angst, fluff

A/N: This part takes place after the Jensen’s Day timestamp. Enjoy!

______

“Trick or treat!” said Allie after your dad answered the front door in a batman t shirt. 

“Well aren’t you the cutest little Elsa,” he said. He dropped a few big handfuls of candy in her bag and then a few more. He tickled Colin and got a laugh from him. “Colin you are the most adorable baby Yoda ever cutie and I gotta say...you ain’t a half bad Mandalorian, kid. You almost look tough or something.”

“It’s cause I’m a badass,” said TJ as he stuck out his chest.

“It’s cause you’re a nerd,” said your dad. You walked inside, Colin giggling as your mom stole him away without a second glance. “Nice costume though.”

“Y/N picked it out off some website or something,” he said. He sneezed and your dad shut the door. “God my allergies are killing me lately. Ragweed is horrible this year.”

“I know. De and I have been popping allergy meds the past few days,” he said. “You get it the worst.”

“Yeah but I started taking it like a week ago to build it up. I think it’s helping. Also, a bounty hunter and an adoptive dad? Mmm, peak man crush right there, babe,” you said, your dad rolling his eyes as TJ kissed your cheek.

“And what exactly are you supposed to be? A curtain?” teased your dad as you spun around.

“I thought I’d go another route,” you said. You took off your robe and he went wide eyed. “Soldier...girl?”

“Oh my God. You’re Solider Boy. That is so fucking cool!” he said as he looked you over.

“Jay, fuck’s a bad word,” said Allie. 

“And we don’t repeat bad words, do we,” said TJ. “De’s got some more candy for you somewhere I bet.”

She took off up to the TV room and your dad walked around you.

“What do you think?” you asked. “Look real?”

“Okay that’s like good. Like real good. It’s just like mine from the show. Like even the shield looks the same.”

“It’s from the show. Kripke sent it to me. I know it’s a little big for my back but I couldn’t not use it,” you said. “I took a long shot and asked him on Twitter about it and he just like sent me the thing. He was really nice.”

“Good,” he said as he looked you over. “I am impressed. You guys might win your costume contest thing at whatever bar you’re going to.”

“I just want to go drink,” you said, TJ throwing an arm over your shoulders. “We’ll be back around eleven, midnight?” 

“Go have fun. Mom and I’ll watch the babies tonight. Pick ‘em up in the morning,” he said.

“We didn’t pack bags for them,” you said. He stared at you and shook his head.

“You live a quarter of a mile away. We shall survive without you for one evening,” he said, pushing you both out the door. “Go have fun with Cody. I’ll see your hungover butts tomorrow, okay?”

“Don’t have to tell us twice.”

“Cody,” you said at the bar a few hours later. He finished off his drink and shook out his head. “Can you check on TJ? He’s been in the bathroom awhile.”

“Yeah. Order me another gin and tonic?” he asked.

“Can do,” you said. You hopped off your seat and paused for a moment, getting your bearings before you walked over to the bar. “Gin and tonic and another...graveyard…”

“Graveyard smash?” asked the girl behind the bar.

“Yeah. Another one of those. Oh and a bottle of bud,” you said. You handed over your card to pay, tucking it back in your shorts pocket. You brought the drinks over to the table, finishing off your margarita and the last of TJ’s old beer before you started sipping on the Halloween mixer. 

It took about thirty seconds before you realized what you’d done.

“Fuck,” you said. You pursed your lips and took out your phone, biting your bottom lip before you dialed.

“You better be drunk calling me,” chuckled your dad. “What’s up, kiddo?”

“The guys are in the bathroom and I just drank from a glass that nobody was watching,” you said. You shut your eyes and felt a little off, not sure if it was because of the already decent amount of alcohol in you or something else. “What do I do?”

“Go to the bar and sit there and don’t move. The boys will be back soon,” he said. You tried to move but felt wobbly and sat back on your seat. “Y/N, don’t hang up on me.”

“Dad, I don’t think I can walk over there,” you said. “I’m drunk but...shit I fucked up.”

“Where are you?” he asked.

“Um, the uh...the place to the right of Jared’s.”

“Okay. Sit there. I’m gonna call…” he said as you stared down at the bathrooms. “Y/N. Answer me.”

“I think something’s wrong,” you said. “The boys are taking too long.”

“Cody is a police officer and TJ is tougher than he looks. They’re probably throwing up or something,” he said.

“TJ said he felt funny,” you said as you stared at his glass. “What if it was in his drink?”

“I don’t know but whatever you do, do not leave your spot,” he said.

“But it’s TJ.”

“Y/N I’m having a hard enough time not freaking out right now. Please do not move,” he said. 

“Hey! Soldier boy!” said a guy walking by in a homelander costume. “Nice suit.”

“Can you do me a favor?” you said, the guy smiling as he leaned against your table. “My husband and friend went to the bathroom a long time ago and didn’t come back. One’s the Mandalorian and the other one is a zombie. Can you check on them for me?”

“Yes I can very drunk girl,” he chuckled. “I’ll be back.”

“Y/N, stop putting the phone down,” said your dad in your ear.

“Homelander’s going to look for the boys.”

“Your boys or The Boys?” he asked.

“Should I have clarified?”

“Just...I’ll be there soon. Don’t-”

“Boys!” you said, Homelander wandering back over with a very pale looking TJ and a wet Cody.

“I think your friends were puking in the alley,” said Homelander.

“Thank you so much,” you said. “You’re so sweet.”

“Mind if I get a pic? Your costume is kinda perfect,” he said.

“Not at all,” you said. You hopped off your seat and felt better. “Ah, okay. Just drunk.”

“Hm?” said TJ as you hung up your call and the other guy gave him his phone. “Hey there’s a starlight over there too.”

“Starlight! Come get your pic taken with the Seven, girl!” you shouted.

“She’s drunk,” said the homelander guy with a laugh. 

“After three of those graveyard smash things? Oh for sure,” said TJ.

Half an hour later you were onto another drink and TJ was fanboying over star wars with another guy in a Mandalorian outfit. Cody was talking to the starlight chick who was maybe in a relationship with the homelander guy. They were at least mutually pining for one another if they weren’t already.

“Morris. Come on. I’m drunk and even I can tell Kayla Starlight over there is dying for you to ask her out,” you said. He shrugged and you cocked your head. “Oh come on.”

“She’s been my best friend since I was like four. Like, I can’t fuck up twenty something years of friendship if she’s...how fucked am I?” he asked as you smirked.

“So fucked,” you laughed. “Trust me. I was besties with my husband for years before we finally talked about it. Sometimes you just gotta-”

“Why the fuck haven’t you been answering your phone?” you heard your dad say. You spun around and gave him a smile.

“Is that the guy that played-”

“Walk away kid. Now,” growled your dad. 

“See ya around, Y/N,” he said, Kayla disappearing with a wave with him. TJ spun around and your dad shot him a dirty look.

“What’d I do?” asked TJ.

“You three are glued to your phones yet tonight for some reason, you seem to have forgotten they exist. If you’d read a text then you’d know that she called me half an hour ago saying she thought she’d been drugged.”

“What?” Cody and TJ said, both of them staring at you.

“Fuck, Y/N I thought someone took you,” said your dad. You opened your mouth and he shook his head.

“She’s just drunk,” said TJ. 

“Well thanks for the update. You could have answered your phone,” he said. He glared at you and shook his head. “Don’t ever do that again.”

He left the bar and you slid off your seat, jogging outside, telling the boys you’d be back in a minute. There were a lot of people out for a Friday night and it took a second to find him in the crowd. 

“Dad,” you said. You caught up with him as he walked down the sidewalk. You tugged on his arm and the man spun around, very much not your father. “Sorry. I thought you were someone else.”

“Nice costume,” he said and you stepped back into another body, your head swimming. “You gonna puke? Alley’s over there.”

You turned your head and jogged around the corner, spitting up your stomach with a big heave. You wiped off your mouth and sighed, getting up to your feet. There was a shove on your back and you got pushed further into the darkness, falling onto the dirt and gravel. You spun around on your bottom and saw the guy from before.

“Be more careful, kid. You’re tripping there.”

“You pushed me,” you grumbled as you stood up, picking up a rock in your fist as you went.

“You’re on something. You got that look in your eye,” he said. You narrowed your eyes and he walked forward, close enough for you to whack him in the head with the rock. He swore as he fell down and you ran back onto the street, jogging away until you got to a street corner and saw a familiar back of someone’s head.

“Dad,” you said, tugging on his jacket, relieved to find it was him this time. “Dad, there was-”

“I don’t want to speak to you right now,” he said. You swallowed and stared at him, his face hard.

“Dad. I-”

“You never hang up the phone with me when you call me like that ever again, do you understand?” he said. You stared at him and his jaw clenched. “Of course you don’t. You’re drunk.”

“Dad I’m not. I-”

“You smell like vomit,” he said with a scoff. You turned around and saw the man from before hanging back, shooting you a look. “Go back to the bar, Y/N.”

“Dad-”

“Would you just go?” he shouted. 

“Dad don’t. I need-”

“For fucks sake. Just go away.”

You let go of his arm, tears welling in your eyes. 

“Grow up,” he said. You stepped back, watching him walk across the street.

“D-Daddy,” you said. He stopped in the crosswalk and looked back at you, his gaze following yours over to the man. The man saw him look at him and took off back towards the bars when he saw your dad scowling. Your dad jogged back over to you, tensing when you took a step back from him. 

“No one’s gonna hurt you,” he said. He stepped closer and you squeezed your eyes shut. “Y/N. What’s wrong?”

“I feel funny and I’m drunk and I’m scared and I’m scared of you,” you breathed out. “You were gonna leave me alone.”

“Y/N-”

“You said you wouldn’t leave me alone,” you said. You stumbled over to a nearby wall and slide down it, your head in your hands. “Don’t leave me alone. You promised. You said so.”

“Okay,” he said as he sat down beside you. He kissed the top of your head and you heard him shudder. “You’re okay, munchkin, I promise.”

“How are you feeling this morning?” asked the doctor that walked into your room. 

“Tired,” you mumbled. TJ and Cody were there in their own stalls, still in their costumes, your dad out in the hall talking to someone.

“Your blood alcohol content was up there,” he said. “Especially you, Y/N.”

“I want to go home,” you groaned.

“You’ll be discharged shortly,” he said. You grumbled and half an hour later you were signing something that you could leave.

“Y/N,” said your dad as you walked away from the nurses station. You glanced over your shoulder, glancing down until he came over. “We need to talk about last night.”

“No we don’t. We got too drunk. I fucked up. Lesson learned,” you said. You started to head out and he grabbed your shoulder. “Jensen let go.”

“Y/N,” he said, spinning you around. He opened his mouth and you crossed your arms, shrugging him off. “I made a mistake.”

“I had to beg you to help me. I called you daddy I was so scared,” you said. He shut his eyes and you growled. “Look at me.”

He snapped his eyes up, his eyes a little red already but you were too angry to care.

“The only other time I’ve ever called you that, I thought you were dead on that road. I thought...I thought there was absolutely...I was drunk and maybe drugged and your reaction was to get pissed at me, at us, for not answering phones. A man tried to attack me and I got away because my dad told me to grab whatever I could if I was ever in that situation. There you were, the safest place in the world, the safest I could ever feel after something like that happened and you told me to go away. I was terrified and you could see it on my face and you left me. You made me beg for you to help me. I don’t know who the fuck you were last night but you were not my father. You’re Jensen again until he decides to come back.”

“Y/N,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry.”

“Congratulations. You’re just like every other foster father I ever had.”

He stared at you and you turned around, walking past both TJ and Cody.

“Y/N,” said TJ and you kept walking. “Y/N. Jensen, she didn’t mean that.”

“Yes, I did. Let’s go TJ.”

One Week Later

The doorbell rang and you rolled your eyes, TJ walking past the couch and away from the door.

“TJ, can-”

“Tell him yourself,” he said, going to his office and slamming the door. You glared at it before going to the front door. You opened it quickly, your dad standing there in his raincoat and swallowing thickly.

“Is this about work?” you asked.

“No,” he said quietly.

“Then get off of my property.”

“Y/N-” he said as you slammed the door shut in his face. He rang the doorbell again and you ripped it open. “Honey-”

“I’m not your honey or kiddo or tall munchkin or anything, Jensen. This is me telling you that I want you out of my life,” you said. He lowered his head and you heard him sniffle. “I don’t give a fuck about if you cry. Get out of our lives. Stay away from my family.”

“I’ll do whatever you want me to,” he breathed out, forcing his head up. His eyes were red and puffy, face tired like it’d been that way for days. “I’ll do whatever you want. I promise.”

“You humiliated me,” you said, stepping outside and pulling the door shut. “I thought you loved me.”

“I do,” he said. “I love you so much you-”

“You don’t even know. Boo fucking hoo,” you said. He stepped back and looked small, rain dripping down on him now. “The real world sucks. Get used to it.”

“I made a mistake. Please,” he said. “Y-you don’t have to forgive me. You can...just let me try. Please. We’ve always tried. P-please let me try.”

You stared at him, watching him look down, watching him debate getting on his knees.

And it dawned on you what you’d done. What you’d said.

“Y/N, Y/N, honey,” said TJ. You looked up from the floor of your bathroom, your dad knelt down on your other side. “Honey, look at me.”

He grabbed your face and you felt wet tears streaming steadily down your cheeks.

“What happened?” you asked. “I was on the porch and now I’m here?”

“You were talking to your dad outside and he said you just...fell over crying.”

“Something’s wrong with me,” you said. You shut your eyes and TJ looked around.

“I’m gonna call the doctor,” he said. “Jensen can you keep an eye on her?”

“Of course,” he said. He kept his distance and you sniffled, opening your eyes. He looked down when you met his eyes and you started to cry.

“I’m sorry,” you said. You grabbed his arm and sat up on your knees, giving him a big hug. “Dad I’m so sorry. I love you. Please forgive me. Please. Please. I’m sorry. I want to be your daughter. I want my dad back. Please.”

“I wasn’t going anywhere,” he said. He relaxed and felt like himself again, your head resting on his shoulder. 

“Uh, guys?” asked TJ. You lifted your head up, TJ holding up his phone. “Y/N, I think I know why you freaked out on Jensen so bad.”

“How would the doctor know that over the phone?” asked your dad.

“There’s a recall out on a certain allergy medication warning people not to take it according to this headline,” said TJ. 

“Why would-”

“It’s not allergy medicine. It’s an antipsychotic drug. They mixed up the pills during manufacturing. Apparently if you give those to people that don’t need them, it fucks with their heads,” said TJ.

“You take them too,” you said as TJ nodded, your dad quiet. “Dad you and mom do-“

“I think we all better go to the hospital and get checked out. Right now.”

“How do you feel?” asked your mom a few hours later.

“My head feels normal again,” you sighed from your hospital bed. You opened your eyes, her hand running over your head. “Did I fuck it up. With dad. I think I broke it. That thing we had and it’s never going to fix back the same way.”

“You were on a very strong antipsychotic without you knowing. We are lucky all you had was some anger and a few delusions. It could have been much worse,” she said. “Daddy’s not mad, sweetie.”

“Mom I’ve never seen him like that. I was so…”

“Wasn’t just you,” he said as he rounded the corner into the room. He was out of his clothes and in a pair of pants and a plain t shirt now, holding up the bracelet on his wrist. “Why’d I have to get all the crying? I would have rather have been pissed off like you got.”

“Your test came back positive?” asked your mom.

“Yeah. So far that’s Y/N, me, TJ, Cody. The younger kids don’t seem to have it thankfully since they take the kid version. They want you to get tested though,” he said.

“But mom’s been normal,” you said as you sat up.

“Well…” he said as she rolled her eyes. “Mom’s been a little...aggressive in-”

“Don’t need to know,” you said. He chuckled and he took a seat on the opposite bed, your mom heading out. They hooked him up to an IV to clear out his system and he took a seat beside you on the bed. You looked down, getting a bump on the shoulder. His hand as on his lap, palm facing up and you smiled.

“Thatta girl,” he said as you rested yours in it. “Gonna take more than some antipsychotics to tear us apart.”

“You are the greatest foster father I’ve ever had and arguably the kindest human being I’ve ever known,” you said. He was quiet and you took a deep breath, looking across the room. “You protected me, even when you were being affected by this. I want you to forget everything I’ve said from Halloween night on. It wasn’t true. Not a second of it.”

“Was the daddy part true?” he asked. “The accident.”

“I expect you to protect me when TJ’s not around. I expect it when he is too to be honest. I spent a long time protecting myself. I was scared on that road. You couldn’t protect me. You couldn’t protect me from watching you almost die. I know how life works and that parents are not invulnerable. They get hurt. They get angry. They make mistakes. They’re human. But I’ll always be your child and on a rare occasion, I’ll need my fucking daddy to tell me it’s okay and I’ll believe him. I’m sorry for hurting him so badly.”

“You are still as ridiculous as the day you walked in your room and told me not to bother with you,” he said, tucking your hair behind your ear. “You can hurt me. You can destroy me. You can ruin me beyond repair. You’re the only thing that puts me back together though. Heals the wounds so I forget they existed. I’ve been broken before. More than you know. I am sure I will fall apart again too. But these small creatures I call my children fix all of that. The girl who ran away, who was afraid of me, she just told me I make her feel safe. I protect her. So I’m sorry but I won’t forgive you since there’s nothing to forgive. You weren’t yourself and neither was I yet you still pushed past it and realized this wasn’t normal for us. Maybe some people fight and some families would have let it go but we know we don’t stop trying in this family. Even when we’re all a little off. I’m proud of you.”

“For what?” you said quietly. He fixed your hair again, playing with it for a moment. He tickled the back of your ear and you giggled. “Dad.”

“Giggles never hurt either,” he said. He threw his arm over your shoulders and pulled you in close, kissing the top of your head. “You’re not that scared kid anymore, Y/N. You’re never gonna be her again. You’re strong. Even now, I know this will bother you for a little while but it won’t change anything. We’ll be even better if that’s possible.”

“You were begging me at the house,” you said.

“Could have gotten that new bronco you’ve been looking at. Sounds like you lost out,” he chuckled.

“Dork,” you said as you hugged him.

“I’m sorry for how I acted that night at the bar too. I’ll never do it again. I promise to not leave your side if you ever call me for help. Not for a second.”

“Dad you don’t have to apologize.”

“I’m bigger than you. I get to force this apology,” he said. “Am I forgiven?”

“Always,” you said. You saw a guy go past in the hall and you went wide eyed. “That’s the guy from the alley!”

“Hey,” said your dad with a smile as you got up. He walked out with his IV, you on his tail as the guy turned around with his doctor. The man looked at you and shook his head. “You’re the dickhead that tried to hurt my daughter aren’t you? I thought that was you.”

“Ew,” you said, looking at the infected cut on his head. Your dad moved forward and you caught his arm. “Um, maybe we can call the police?” 

A security guard at the nurse’s station got up and the man sighed, your dad narrowing his eyes.

“I was only gonna kill him a little,” he said. The man stared and your dad cocked his head. “I’m hopped up on anti-psychotics buddy. I can be very creative.”

“Dad,” you said, dragging him back into the room. “Let the police handle it.”

“I did get a little too happy about fantasizing over that,” he said as he sat down. You rolled your eyes and took a seat, laying back on the bed.

“Am I too big for a cuddle?” you asked.

“Nope, especially not in the hospital,” he said. He sat back and you rested your head on his shoulder. “Where is that husband of yours anyways?”

“I think he’s on the phone with the lawyer trying to sue or something,” you said. “Let him wander the halls and get it out of his system.”

“Excuse me?” You both turned to look at the door. “Hi. I’m Morris Harrison with Richmond...Solider Boy?”

“Homelander?” you said as Morris shook his head. “Uh, hi?”

“Hi. I uh, I’m a lawyer at Richmond and Associates and we’re working the class action against the pharmaceutical manufacturer. I got a call about more cases,” he said, handing over a business card. 

“We’ll be getting the family lawyer in contact with you rest assured,” said your dad. He nodded and looked away. “You okay?”

“Morris this is my dad, Jensen. Dad this is the nice boy from the bar you shouted at,” you said.

“To be fair, I was mentally impaired...and I mean come on, Homelander? Gotta be careful of those,” he smirked. 

“I was actually gonna be…” he said, shaking his head. “Sorry.”

“You and Kayla were gonna be Sam and Dean! Oh yeah. Now I remember,” you said. 

“I like the new friend,” chuckled your dad.

“I’ll see you guys around sometime. Maybe a little less drinking this time?” said Morris.

“Yeah. Text TJ. We’ll get together,” you said. “Oh. I gotta ask. How’d the Kayla situation work out?”

“We have our sixth date tonight,” he said. You grinned and he rolled his eyes. “You’re alright drunk girl.”

“Later Homelander,” you said with a wave as he left.

“He was nice,” said your dad. “Did I really shout at him?”

“Yeah. I think he’s a fan so thank you for being nicer this time,” you said. 

“Well...at least you made a few new friends out of this experience?” he said. “Silver lining?”

“I will take a quiet, happy day for now,” you said.

“Me too, kiddo.”

Three Days Later

It was after ten when you slipped inside your parents house. It was a little dark, your siblings all at sleepovers. You poked your head around a corner, your dad in the kitchen mixing two cocktails together. He lifted his head up, cocking his head.

“Y/N?” he asked as you stepped out from around the corner. “What are you doing here?”

“I know you and mom got the house to yourselves so I’ll only be a minute,” you said. 

“Uh, what?” he said as you walked over and gave him a hug. He returned it and ran his hand over your head. “Y/N. I know you didn’t mean what you said. You can stop apologizing. Please.”

“I know,” you said. 

“Alright then,” he said. “I’ll take free hugs anytime.”

“Dad.”

“Yeah?” he asked as you squeezed him hard. He returned it and you smirked as you looked up. “What are you up to?”

“Can I show you something?” you asked. He nodded and you pulled him with you towards your old room, back to being one for guests. You walked him inside and sat him down on the bed as he watched you. You went over to the closet and turned on the light reaching up top into a shoe box. You took it down and walked it over, handing it to him.

“What’s this?” he asked.

“My dad’s kinda sappy and he writes me these letters,” you said. He rolled his eyes but smiled, putting his hands on top. “I started writing back. I put them in this box and figured one day you’d find them. But I know it wouldn’t hurt for you to maybe peek a look now after everything.”

He nodded and smiled, freezing when he took off the lid.

“Y/N...how many letters is this?”

“A boxful?” you said. “I maybe write them with more...frequency than he does. They are dated and hopefully in order.”

He picked out the first one and shut his eyes. You bit your bottom lip and he took a deep breath.

“This is from four days after your seventeenth birthday.”

“Every time I went to therapy I wrote one. Some are for mom but your names are on the envelopes.”

“Why does this one say dad?” he asked, holding up the first one. “I wasn’t dad for years.”

“Oh we both know you were my father the first day I stepped foot in here,” you said. “I could pretend to a piece of paper. It was safe. It wouldn’t hurt me. I started calling you dad in my head a very long time ago. I just didn’t say it in case you didn’t want me to be your daughter in the end.”

He put the envelope back in the box and carefully put the lid on, tucking it by his side. He wiped off his face with the back of his hands and looked up at you.

“Next month you turn twenty eight. You’ll have been with us for a hair over eleven years. This last year...the accident...TJ and his dad...now this...you’re the adult more lately than I am.”

“Dad I’m almost twenty eight like you said. But my head still feels...younger. You’re fifty one. But you still probably think of yourself as a twenty year old kid.”

“You are learning the secrets of adulthood after all,” he said, wiping off his face again. “Y/N...I have this fear when it comes to you. It’s only you. I understand why. But it’s a fear I’ve lived with for quite a long time. It’s a fear I thought came true earlier in the week.”

“She was a bitch that didn’t know better.”

“Don’t call yourself a bitch,” he said, sounding young, shaking his head. “You’ve always been tougher than me. I put on a good act but I’m...I’m privileged and I’ve had an easy life and even that seems hard sometimes. I couldn’t be you. I’m not strong enough. I’m not strong enough to erase the fear that I had, that lingered.”

“What are you afraid of?” you asked as you sat down on the bed.

“I have always loved you. But there was a time you didn’t love me and it took a while before it was unconditional. I’ve always had this fear that I would fuck up and hurt you, make you not love me anymore and that’s selfish of me. I know it is. But I can’t lose you. It just...I was broken last week. Like somebody ripped part of my soul out and it was gone forever. I’ve dealt with grief and death and heartbreak and nothing has ever hurt like that. The drugs did all that I know but...I would have done anything to get you back. Anything. And this girl, this amazing young woman, she writes me letters. She’s been writing me letters for eleven years. I never had to be afraid of you either, did I.”

“No,” you said. “But it’s okay. Boys are allowed to get scared too.”

“Your parents did a pretty good job with you,” he said.

“Yes. I think the four of them did too,” you said.

“I didn’t raise you.”

“Yes you did,” you said. You shoved a hand in your pocket and pulled out an envelope, handing it to him. 

“Another for the box?” he asked.

“I already snuck today’s in there,” you said. “This is different.”

“What is it?”

“Just open it.” He untucked the flap and laughed, pulling out the sheet of paper. “TJ thought it was cute.”

“An IOU to tag along whenever I’d like when you go out drinking,” he chuckled. “I’m gonna need several hundred more of these while you’re at it.”

“How about like three?” you said.

“I will settle for you calling me if you think you’re in trouble,” he said. You nodded and he rested his head on your shoulder. “Even drugged up you still did that.”

“Well, the drugs didn’t kick in really until that night. Having allergies sucks,” you said. “You get the runny nose and itchy eyes and the crazy stuff. So not fun.”

“Nope,” he said, giving you a hug. “I was totally gonna have sex with mom all night but now I got all these letters to read.”

“Oh God, gross,” you said, shuddering as you stood up. He laughed and lay back on the bed, giggling as you shook yourself off. “I don’t need to hear about your nasty sex life.”

“I have an incredible sex life. Like so much-”

“Goodbye father,” you said as you walked out of the room.

“You don’t even want to know how often if I’m being honest,” he said as you walked quickly to the front door. He cracked up and you groaned. “Night, kiddo.”

“Night, dad. Enjoy your letters.”

You woke up around three in the morning, rolling over in bed and catching a few texts on your phone. You lifted your head and saw they were from your dad, a smile growing across your face.

I read the last letter first. All I gotta say is you never have to worry about me going away, no matter how much you scream and shout. You’re stuck with me forever, kiddo. Not even strong medication can tear that apart. Nothing can. 

Also, for the record, I get to be the sap in this relationship, not you. Box full of cards. Do you know how hard it is to one up that? Do you? Keeping me on my toes kid. I’m sure I’ll come up with something though.

Love you tall munchkin.

“Something wrong?” mumbled TJ. You put your phone down and shook your head.

“Not at all,” you said. You tucked in close to his side, TJ rolling to his own and tucking your head under his chin. He hummed and rubbed your arm, kissing the top of your head. “Love you.”

“Love you too, honey.”

________

A/N: Read the Dads timestamp here!

[my-proof-is-you]

But Why Me? - Ch. 3

Summary: When you went with a friend to a Supernatural convention, you never expected to meet the stars of the show, let alone catch their eye…

Both Jared and Jensen show interest in you, and you can’t help but be interested in them. But who will you choose? You never want to get in the way of their friendship.

With the two attractive and sweet men interested in you, you can’t help but ask: but why me?

Pairing: Single!Jensen x Reader; Single!Jared x Reader

Y/B/F = Your best friend

This will be an incredibly fluffy fic with maybe a little angst and smut thrown in :)

A/N: Drama to come...no worries :)

Masterlist | Tag Yourself!

*Pics and gifs are not mine

You stared at your phone, your finger hovering over the message button.

You had gone through the whole next work week feeling slightly dazed and confused. You couldn’t wrap your head around what had happened at the convention, regardless of Y/B/F’s multiple calls and texts telling you to “get your head out of your ass and text the TV stars.”

Now, you sat on your couch with a glass of red wine after a particularly rough Friday at work. 

You loved your job. You loved helping people. It was hard, though. It was hard emotionally. Especially on days like that day had been. 

You’d been called in on an Adult Protective Services case. You didn’t usually handle those, as you mainly worked with children. The agency had several people out sick that week, though, so they asked you to assist. 

You were used to horrible situations, of course. It came with the territory as a social worker. Usually, though, you were taking kids away from junkie parents and putting them somewhere safe. 

Dealing with the elderly was an entire other ball game.

You let your finger tap the message button and opened a new conversation, biting your lip as you selected his name. 

Y: Hey, Jared, it’s Y/N. 

You waited a few seconds. It wasn’t like you were really expecting him to respond. He was a famous actor, for God’s sake. He surely had better things to do on a Friday night than text with you.

You took a sip of your wine, curling your legs up under you and grabbing the remote to play The Office on Netflix. You jumped when your phone buzzed in your lap. 

JP: It’s good to hear from you, Y/N! How are you?

You smiled, extremely surprised he’d answered. 

Y: To be honest, I’ve been better

You knew it was weird to be so honest with someone you’d just met, but you couldn’t help it. Something about Jared made you want to open up, regardless of how long you’d known him.

JP: Hit me with it, sweetheart.

Your heart fluttered a little at the endearing name, and before you knew what you were doing, you were spilling your whole day to him.

Y: Being a social worker sucks sometimes. 

Y: I got pulled in on a tough case today. It just...broke my heart. I’m trying to let it go, but now I’m home and I just can’t stop thinking about it.

JP: Do you wanna tell me about it? I’m not sure what you’re allowed to say or anything but I’m glad to listen.

Y: As long as I don’t share names I can talk about it.

Y: It was an elder abuse case. An anonymous tip that an eldery person wasn’t being treated well in their home. The agency had been investigating it for a while, and it was to the point that they were getting the police involved. That’s when I got brought on.

Y: Jare, it was this fragile little old man. He lived with his piece-of-shit kids who weren’t taking care of him. He’s too old to do anything himself.

JP: Oh, no. 

Y: Yeah. He was in a tiny bed in the basement, sitting in his own filth. He was skin and bones, clinging to life. 

JP: Why would anyone do that to him?!

Y: I don’t know. It’s neglect, and it happens more often than it should. 

JP: Is he gonna be okay?

Y: I don’t know. We got him to the hospital and they’re trying to help him. He was pretty bad, though. 

JP: That must’ve been hard to see.

Y: It was. As the paramedics were rolling him out on a gurney, he grabbed my hand. He looked right in my eyes and said, “thank you” with a toothless smile. 

JP: Wow. That breaks my heart just hearing about it.

Y: Thankfully his kids are going to jail. They’re gonna still be fed and have a place to go to the bathroom and sleep, though, while their father fights for his life because they didn’t give him any of that. 

JP: Are you okay? I don’t know how anyone can see that and be okay.

Y: I’m not great. But I will be fine. Honestly, it just helps to talk to someone about it. 

JP: What about Y/B/F?

Y: I love her, I do. But she tends to get wrapped up in her wedding planning. I don’t want to bother her. 

JP: I’m sure she wouldn’t see it that way. I get it, though, and I’m glad to be the one to listen :)

Y: Thanks. I really do appreciate it. 

JP: So...have you thought about going on a date with me yet? ;)

Y: I wasn’t sure you were serious haha

JP: Of course I am!

Y: Well, I’ll let you know. I’m still not sure…

JP: Take your time, honey. I’ll be here. 

Y: Night, Jared 

JP: Night, Y/N.

You sat your phone down, your heart beating fast. You still couldn’t believe that Jared wanted to go on a date with you. He was just so darn sweet. 

Your phone buzzed in your lap again, this time with a new text from Jensen Ackles. 

JA: You picking Padalecki over me already, sweetheart? ;)

Y: I take it you two are together right now? Lol

JA: Maybe...I caught a glimpse of your name on his screen and just had to see if you’d decided about going on a date with either of us yet. 

Y: …

JA: No pressure, of course. And if you are going to just go on one with him, I totally get it

Y: No, no, it’s not that. I told Jared that I just didn’t really believe you two actually wanted to date me.

JA: You’re damn straight I do. 

Y: Well, like I told him, I still want to think about it. 

JA: Okay, okay, I’ll back off. How have you been?

Y: It’s been a rough one, I won’t lie. I feel better, though. 

JA: Good. You deserve to laugh. 

Y: Did you really just send me a gif of yourself you got off the internet??

JA: Yes. Did it work?

Y: Yes, yes it did. 

JA: Good. Can’t wait to see you laugh in person again.

Y: Such a flirt. Goodnight, Jensen.

JA: Night. 

Forevers:

@malfoysqueen14​ @divadinag​ @lynne1993​ @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce​​  @onethirstyunicorn​ @sammykb1994​ @lilulo-12​ @mellorine-paprika​ @tranquility-or-chaos​ @collette04​ @hoboal87​ @chevyharvelle​ @miraclesoflove​ @defenderrosetyler​ @babypink224221​ @calaofnoldor​ @beatifuldisaster018​ @satans-0-spawn​ @coffeebooksandfandom​ @supernatural3002​ @lainxcas​ @mylovelydame21​ @mrsdeanfuckingwinchester​ @lovely-lynns-likes​ @ppeachygemss​ @screechingartisancashbailiff​ @metalfangirl​ @vicmc624​ @polina-93​

Deanies/Jensen:

@tftumblin​ @deans-baby-momma​ @akshi8278​ @weepingwillowphoenix​ @playingdeep17​ @justanotherwinchester​ @flamencodiva​ @caligraphee​ @jxackles​ @kalesrebellion​ @heavensangel45135​ @screechingartisancashbailiff​ @miufel​ @squirrelnotsam​ @lovely-lynns-likes​ @smokinserious​ @notan-applepielife​ @screechingartisancashbailiff​

But Why Me?

@anaelsbrunette​ @afangirlsbubble​ @afangirlreacts​ @supernatural3002​ @athenamikaelson​ @jessieleetaurus​ @thefemalestorywriter​

[pepperful-qt]

Hello! Can I ask headcanons about an overnight stay Miya Twins (not separated) at their female best friend house?

ahahaha the chaos 

Atsumu & Osamu Miya having a sleepover with their f! best friend

okay i’d like to tell you that this was planned but,, unfortunately not. keeping up with their practice schedules is hard enough that once they find out they have free time they’re coming over with no warning

well, not no warning. if you’re lucky Osamu sends a text that’s just “dibs on the pullout couch” followed 2 minutes later by “oh we’re coming over btw” rude mfs

which isn’t anything new tbh. hangouts aren’t really planned with these guys

so, the shenanigans

TBH it’s not as crazy chaotic as you’d think. for the first hour or so you’re just catching up/gossiping/ranting to each other (mostly you and Atsumu, but Osamu is surprisingly knowledgeable)

then you guys try to decide what to do for dinner. oh my god. 

whenever you ask Osamu what he wants he’s just like “idc i’ll eat whatever” then turns his nose up at everything my patience is wearing thin with you sir

Atsumu is looking up whack recipes on tasty buzzfeed or whatever instead of contributing to the conversation

so, you end up at the grocery store looking for,, something?? whatever you came for originally is long forgotten as you make your way through the aisles throwing random shit in your cart that you’ll pay for with your parents’ credit card 

the three of you are incredibly loud as Atsumu and Osamu bicker over every item while you try in vain to make them shush before giving up and leaving them to their debate over the best pringles flavor to go look at the ice cream

you end up losing Atsumu and you have to page him at the checkout

since you got nothing but trash (who put a bag of grapes in the cart) you end up just ordering from a local takeout place and heading back. you’re already exhausted

while you eat you decide to download tinder and cast it to the tv. you work together to make a fake account (mainly you their suggestions are terrible) 

you scroll through the accounts having a field day just roasting them (ANOTHER guy with a shirtless mirror pic? oh, and there’s him holding a fish, how original) and swiping on everyone

you end up actually getting some convos and you work together to figure out what to say. Atsumu is very into this as he loves torturing these poor unsuspecting souls, while Osamu, one of the driest texters on the planet is horrible at it

eventually Atsumu gets an idea (run) which is prank calling their teammates

Kita and Oomimi actually take it seriously, while Aran loses some more braincells. Ginjimi is genuinely so confused and Akagi plays along

Suna doesn’t even pick up

eventually you just throw on a terrible movie and rip it to shreds (Osamu is on his phone the whole time)

at one point Atumu gets up to “go to the bathroom” and is gone for a long time until you hear a pot crashing to the floor in the kitchen and your smoke alarm going off

(he was trying to make popcorn,,)

not only did he forget about it on the stove while he was scrolling on his phone, but it ended up turning to charcoal and lighting on fire, causing him to freak out and knock the pan, and burnt kernels, all over the floor

all of which he denies “i have no idea how that got there wdym” sure tsumu

he is banned from the kitchen henceforth and forced to clean up smh Osamu is laughing his ass off at him

you end up passing out on the couch with Osamu while Atsumu is gone

Osamu takes up so much of the space btw. manspreads in his sleep, full starfish. he also steals the covers

you find Atsumu in your bed the next morning cocooned in your comforter, that mf. 

both of them are dead to the world until they smell pancakes or smth. typical

[boyy-wonder-grayson]

Seven

Pairings: JJ x Reader

Warnings: angst kinda, mentions of abuse.

A/n: this is my first time writing for jj so hopefully i did some justice. This is based on the song Seven from Taylor Swift, ever since i’ve heard that song i coudln’t stop thinking how much it fit jj, so i tried to write something for it. Feedback is always nice, sorry for any mistakes and thanks for reading! (italics means it’s in the past jic)

*pics mine*

The warm breeze blew among the tall trees, signalling that summer was already settling in North Carolina. The two little kids were running around the woods, trying to find the tallest tree in order to climb it, much to their parents chagrin and warnings to be careful. They didn't care, they were young and full of life. Their laughs echoed through the empty lands, not a soul could be found in the deep end of the woods. They both have heard stories about this part of the town, about how the ghost of an old witch haunted those places, and how she enjoyed tricking kids into following her for them to never be seen again, but they didn't care. Not while they were together.

Seven year old Y/n and JJ ran across the dusty trails that led to their favourite spot under the biggest tree in the island. It was an old oak tree. According to her father that tree has been there for as long as he could remember, he told them that the three was there when he was a kid too,so it was probably a really old one.

A few years ago Y/n's father had set up a swing in one of those trees so the kids could play. Competitions were held against each other. Who would be the one to reach the sky when swinging? It was JJ. Of course he was the one who would always win. Y/n was scared of swinging too high and not being able to come back down. It was a stupid fear,but nevertheless she never tried to beat him. She liked the way he smiled when he came down from the sky smiling triumphant when he realized that he had won yet again.

"You need to go higher Y/n! You can even see the creek from up there!" JJ would beamed at her, but the girl would always shook her head no, too scared to fall, too scared to be able to come back down, but JJ always reassured her that it wasn't like that and that if she were not to come back down, he would simply go up with her. 

"Cross my heart and hope to die" he'd said placing a hand over his heart. The girl would smiled and do the same. She loved her best friend.

She snapped out of her trance when her mother called her name. She was supposed to be cleaning her room when she found an old picture of her and JJ under that oak tree. They were probably eight. Both with big smiles, she was missing a few teeths and JJ's hair was blonder than ever that summer. She smiled fondly at the picture letting it take her down to memory lane, only for her mother to interrupt her. She sighed putting the picture down and throwing the box aside, going downstairs to see what her mother wanted. She didn't speak too much during dinner that night, too engrossed in the memories of her best friend. She went back upstairs eager to see what else was inside that old box she'd found at the back of her drawer. Before going upstairs she poured a glass of sweet tea her mother had made earlier that day, she took a sip and sat down on her bed and started rummaging through the box and found an old drawing from JJ:

'Love you to the Moon and to Saturn'  she read at the bottom of the drawing. She smiled remembering how did they came out with that phrase.

JJ grabbed a red pencil and finished drawing what was supposed to be a dragon. The girl laughed at her best friend idea of a dragon and picked a blue pencil to finish the sky she was painting. Her mother looked at the kids fondly from the kitchen, she was preparing something for them to eat. Sandwiches and sweet tea. JJ's favourite. 

"What's that?" She asked pointing at a weird circle in the boy's paper. 

"A planet duh" he said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"What planet?" She asked genuinely curious awaiting for the answer.

"Saturn" he said nonchalantly. For some reason JJ was obsessed with astronomy at the age of eight. His favourite planet was Saturn. He'd said that it was the coolest planet because it was one of the biggest and also his rings were super cool.

"And what about the other planets?" She'd asked forgetting about her own drawing.

"There not there because they're not as cool as Saturn" he answered with confident. "Like me" he added.

The girl laughed a little making the boy laugh too. 

"You're so dumb" she said laughing harder now. 

"You're dumb!" He retorted for lack of a better come back. "I'm the coolest, just like Saturn" He'd said smiling proudly. 

"Nu-uh you're dumb, but I you're my best friend and I love you" she'd said a little shy this time. It wasn't rare for them to be affectionate with each other but she was always shy while sharing his feelings unlike JJ who was loud and boisterous.

"You're my best friend too and I love you more" he'd fight her. Making the girl frown. It also wasn't rare for them to compete with each other about every single thing.

"No! I love you more! I-i love you to the moon and back!" She screamed proudly knowing that she had won this time, but JJ was quick to shut her response down.

"Well, I love you to the Moon and to Saturn, which is way further, so I win!"

The little girl shut her mouth, not being able to say anything this time. He had won, again.

Y/n put the drawing down and picked her phone up, snapping a picture at the phrase and upload it on her Instagram. She then looked for JJ's profile. They were following each other, even though their friendship was taking a break of sorts, they still kept in contact with each other once in a while. A 'hope you're doing okay' text that would lead to mindless conversation every few weeks was all that they had now. She didn't mind though, relationships were strange.

She smiled when he saw that he had liked the picture. She put her phone down and kept looking inside the box. She found an old pirate eye patch, it was from Halloween when they not dressed as pirates.

Y/n's mother had finished applying the last touches on her costume while JJ wait patiently on the couch, admiring his plastic sword. 

"Done!" Her mother said letting the nine year old take a look in the mirror. The little girl laughed when she saw how cool she looked with her eye patch and her pirate hat. Her white shirt was underneath a red jacket while JJ wore a blue jacket over a white shirt too. Both looked adorable as pirates; her mother did not understood the sudden obsession the kids had about pirates, so when her daughter told her she and JJ wanted to go trick or treating as pirates she didn't think twice before making two costume one for each kid.

JJ's mother had been gone for a year and the kid had been not himself lately. It was hard to live a life without a parent, but it was harder when the only one left wasn't a good one. 

Y/n did not understand much about what was going on inside the Maybank residence so she didn't ask. Her mother explained to her how things between JJ and his father were a little rough now that his mother was not in the picture anymore. She explained that Mr. Maybank needed JJ to stay home a little more now than before and that even though the girl didn't like not being able to play all day with her best friend she nodded at her mother's explanation and didn't ask any questions.

It was one of those rare days were Mr. Maybank was in a good mood, so he allowed JJ to play with Y/n in his backyard. His good mood didn't last too long. After a call, in which his father let a string of curses come out of his mouth, the little boy sighed knowing that when his father was in a bad mood nothing good could happen.

"I think your house is haunted" Y/n said one day after JJ dragged her into the woods. They were walking towards the oak tree when she spoke.

"What do you mean?" He asked looking at her confused.

"I think your house is haunted" She repeated "my dad and I were watching this show about ghosts, and the man in the show said that his son was always angry and that it was because they had a ghost inside their house. So you must have a ghost too!" She said making the boy look scared. 

"I don't have a ghost in my house, that's stupid" he said annoyed.

"But the man in the TV show said that, and it was just like your dad. You always tell me that he's angry, and that you always hide from him because he'd yell at you. Maybe he's possessed or something?" The girl asked with genuine curiosity.

"I...I don't know, maybe you're right!" He said thinking it through. "I don't want to have ghosts in my house,I don't like them" he said trying not to show how scared he actually was. Luckily for him she didn't notice.

"Well you can come live with me! And we would have sleepovers every day! And my mom would help is built a fort and everything!" She said jumping up and down with enthusiasm. "And then you wouldn't have to hide anymore, because we don't have ghosts in my house" she smiled proudly at the fact that a supernatural creature was not living in her home.

Y/n smiled sadly at the memory and how innocent they both were. She wished  that she would still had that innocence that would protect her from the horrible truth about JJ's father. She found out a few years later when they were both fourteen. He didn't mean to tell her it just happened.

Black and purple bruises covered the boys chest, leaving little to none skin left uncovered. Y/n wanted to cry and the sight of her best friend. She wanted to scream,to punch something, someone. But she knew that whatever she'd said she would need to be careful. JJ was a ticking bomb that was about to explode at any given moment. And he eventually did, but not in the way she thought he would. No. He cried in her arms that night, revelling how truly awful JJ's father was. How much of a piece of shit that man was. A coward actually,to beat his son up because he could. She couldn't understand how someone as sweet and genuine like JJ, could go through something like that. She held him until he cried his eyes out. Until he didn't have any more tears. And he told her everything.

"Maybe we could run away" she said in a whisper looking at the boy laying on her bed. He was looking at the ceiling, not showing any emotions,but turn his head around when she spoke.

"What?" He asked.

"I said, maybe we could run away. Leave Outer Banks" she repeated with conviction, which made JJ chuckle.

"Yeah? And where would be go?" He asked amused at his best friend proposal. He would be lying if he said that the idea sound promising but they were fourteen, no real job,no money. How the hell would they achieve something like that?

"I don't know. India" she said smiling a little, that made JJ chuckle.

"Why India?" 

"I don't know, we were talking about it today at school and it sounded cool" she said laughing.

"Okay, well go to India then" he said pulling her closer to his body and cuddling her. Her head rested on his chest and she could hear his heartbeat. It was calmer than before.

"I love you JJ. To the moon-"

"And to Saturn" he finishes for her kissing her forehead before they both fell asleep embracing the other.

Y/n wipe a tear that fell from the corner of her eye.  She didn't realize how much she missed JJ until now looking at the old photographs inside the box. Of course she missed him but right now it fell as if she figured it out that she missed him more than she wanted to admit.

She sighed and looked at the hour. It was half past two, she picked everything and put it back into the box that once again went to sit at the back of her drawer. She opened the window letting the faint summer breeze enter the room. She climbed into bed after changing into her pajamas. She was too focused on her on thoughts that she didn't hear the knocking on her window. The second time she did. She got up frowning when she saw a figure outside of her window.

"JJ" she breath out not believing that her former best friend was now standing in front of her. 

"Hey" he said a little awkward. It's been two years since they actually saw each other face to face alone. He didn't know what came to him to leave his house and walk all the way to hers. But he didn't regret it after seeing the look on her face.

"What are you doing here?" She asked in a small voice, trying to fight the smile that was slowly making its way into her face.

"I... honestly don't know" he chuckled scratching his head. "I just-i saw that picture you put on Instagram and I just, I don't know I wanted to see you, I guess" he didn't know why he was being so honest with her. Maybe it was because he missed the way he was around her, or how she made him feel safe enough to speak what truly was on his mind. 

"I'm glad you came" she said shyly "but my mom is probably gonna kill you if she see you here."

"Your mother loves me, I don't know what are you talking about" he said nonchalantly.it was true,her mother loved him like a son. 

"You wanna come in, or are you gonna stay on the other side of the window all night?" She asked the boy. He entered her room, and looked around. Nothing changed that much over the last years. Her bed was still in the same place,the colour of her walls was still that pale blue he always liked, and the only different thing inside that room was her. She looked different, more mature. More beautiful that JJ remembered. 

He stood awkwardly in the middle of her room while she positioned herself in the bed.

"Are you coming or what?"she asked as if it was obvious that he was supposed to join her in the bed. JJ was surprised at how chill she was with the situation. I guess nothing has really changed.

They spent a few minutes without speaking. Both looking at the stars on her ceiling. They were glowing. 

"I'm sorry it took me so long to come back, I just- I wasn't having the best of times" he admitted ashamed.

"It's okay I understand" she said softly turning her body so she was now facing him. JJ did the same.

"I guess i was scared" he didn't seem to mind how the words kept coming out of his mouth. 

"Of what?" 

"Of you not feeling the same way that I did for you. That I do" he confessed. 

"You're always been a dumbass JJ" she said smiling brightly at the boy. "You know my mom always told me that you were in love with me since we were kids, but I refuse to believe her."

"You should have, your mother's wise" he said moving closer to her. "I'm sorry it took me so long to figure it out, but when I saw that picture o couldn't just not do anything. I needed to at least be honest with you. You've been my best friend since forever and I owe you that" he said caressing the girls face. The look on his face was painful. Y/n could see the vulnerability underneath the strong facade that he would always put up. She could see the sincerity of his statement and the love that was hidden inside of him, trying to come to the surface but not being able because of his fears. She knew he was scared to drown himself in the love he was feeling. JJ was so full of love for everyone, even for the one who had wronged at some point. He didn't have malice in his bones. 

She grabbed his face and pulled him for a kiss. An innocent little kiss. 

She smiled before she said: "I love you to the moon"

"And to Saturn."

[deepdeepjoyandpain]

Friday after an endless week here too. It was a snow day- lulu did quite well while I worked, she got some tv time but it’s a snow day! Of course. I’m glad the district didn’t turn it a virtual day.

So yes we have gobs of snow. The glee over a big storm- hunker down and stay home! Does not exist anymore.

I am actually making photo books. I did 2020 and up to fall of 2019 now. I don’t love doing this. I also have 2018 and 2017 to get done.

My “system”: knowing I am horrible at photo organization, take photos with phone only: first I scroll over the pics on my phone and delete the clutter. And shudder at it is sitting on my phone for so long. Then on the app I upload photos to snapfish by two or three months or a trip. Then I put them in the book (on computer, not phone) . Just one book a year. Trying to keep it simple. I have pages with lots of photos. And no writing: I used to loooove journaling my pages when I scrapbooked, like paper way. Now I cringe when I read my writing. Plus: we can tell it is Halloween or softball or whatever. I don’t love them, but I want a physical book of our days. With the back log it’s a matter of having it done. I’ll try something nicer for next year perhaps. The books are on sale through the 14th so I do hope to get all 4 done- between that and snow removal I’m BUSY. Ha. Didn’t get to bed until 11! Dog went up before me.

[j-elaine-hyde]

Your Remedy

Like clockwork he called you. Every Wednesday at 7:00, for the last four months. You stared at your phone and watched it ring. His stupid handsome face plastered across the screen. Your dumb face smiling next to his, sitting in his lap, arms wrapped around each other, blissfully happy. The 30 other selfies you’d taken together at that time now resided in a hidden folder where you’d be less likely to see them.

7:00. Every Wednesday. He knew you’d be home and settled, relaxing after a long day at work. Feet kicked up on the coffee table on your patio, glass of wine in hand. At first it took everything you had not to answer. Then it irritated you and you purposefully walked away from your phone at 6:58. For a brief period of time it made you smile. It tugged at your heart strings that he was still trying. Now it just made you feel guilty.

You were the bad guy in this scenario. You were the one breaking his heart. You were the reason he posted sunsets with sorrowful captions on Instagram. You had seen the tabloids. “Mystery woman crushes Cavill.”

He even talked about you on talk shows. Instead of pushing his new show, he sulked and smiled forlornly. He never mentioned you by name. He knew his celebrity status was what was keeping you away. You had refused to be a part of the fishbowl life. You were a private person and couldn’t fathom prying eyes commenting on every aspect of your being. You didn’t feel strong enough to endure it. He didn’t fault you for it, but he knew he couldn’t protect you from it.

He told you he understood. That he’d do his best to respect your wishes. He did so by sending flowers to your office every Monday and your favorite Chinese takeout to your house every Friday. The delivery guy knew you by name, he’d sigh and shrug every time he arrived at your door.

This time he surprised you. A text followed the call. Three words. And it cut you deep.

“I miss you”

You opened the text and read it. Your heart instantly sinking into your stomach. You chugged the last of your glass of wine and went inside for more. As you opened the door to go back outside you heard your phone ping again.

“Please talk to me”

You started to type, but immediately deleted it. He must have seen the text bubbles...

“I miss us” and he sent the pic you saw every Wednesday at 7:00. You knew he had saved it as his wallpaper. But now he was reminding you of how happy the two of you had been. A tear rolled down your cheek as you tossed your phone into the chair and went inside. He was clearly on a roll, and you couldn’t mentally or emotionally handle it. You knew you’d cave. You’d call him back. He’d talk you into getting back together and saying screw everyone else.

But it didn’t work. It couldn’t. Your life wasn’t in LA. It was here. Your family, your friends, your job that you had busted your ass to get. His life was in LA and London. Far from the small quiet life you had worked so hard for. You couldn’t justify flittering off and living abroad, forsaking everything you knew and loved. You were too level headed and logical for all of that. You didn’t believe in fairy tales, in happily ever afters with Prince Charmings, and you were bound and determined to keep your feet planted firmly on the ground.

You stood in your kitchen, back against the counter as you finished the bottle of wine. Another one staring at you from its rack.

“I see you damnit. It’s Wednesday. I’m not doing this.” You said defiantly to the inanimate object.

Your blood ran cold. You could hear his ringtone blasting from outside. He never called twice, but then again he didn’t usually text either.

You swallowed hard and grabbed the second bottle of wine. Swiping the corkscrew off the counter you slid down onto the floor.

You sighed heavily as you opened the bottle. The cork popping as you pulled it out. You leaned your head back against the cabinet and tried to fight the flood of emotions and memories hitting you.

The feeling of his full pouty lips on yours. His massive hands sliding around your waist. The way he’d bury his nose in your hair, breathing in the smell of your shampoo. The sweet way he’d smile at you when you’d wake up and say good morning. The safe feeling that would wash over you as he tucked you under his arm while you were cuddled up on the sofa. And the little things you didn’t even realize until now that meant so much. He’d always walk between you and the street. How he’d lead you with his hand on the small of your back. The secret grin he’d give you making you feel like you were the only two people on Earth. The way he’d kiss your forehead or gently squeeze your hand and wink.

Being in love with him made you smile like a fool. You were always giddy and excited. Nothing else mattered when you were with him. Nothing bothered you. But the rational part of your brain started chipping away at your happiness. This wouldn’t last. It was just a fling. You can’t leave your life for a guy. And your biggest fear, that he would ultimately break your heart.

You were still sitting on the floor reminiscing by the time the third bottle was empty. And you were drunk. Drunk enough you contemplated sleeping on the kitchen floor.

“Alexa! Play Adele!” You drunkenly yelled.

You were in the mood to sloppily sing sad love songs. You climbed to your feet, and fell into your feels. Eyes closed, hands in the air, you belted out Adele songs like your life depended on it. The power of the music swept you up. You clutched onto your remote like a microphone, haphazardly balancing on the sofa cushions and sang your heart out.

The doorbell ringing startled you so much it gave you the hiccups. You hopped off the sofa onto the floor and tossed the remote. You yelled at Alexa to stop as you drunkenly stumbled to the door. You tripped on the rug and face planted against the door, barely catching yourself before attempting to peer out the peep hole. A feat your eyes refused to focus on.

You regained your footing and opened the door. There he stood. All 6’1” of him. You hiccuped and tried to shut the door. You were mortified. His strong hand stopped the door from slamming in his face.

“Babe please.”

You wretched. You knew what was coming. You bolted down the hall to the bathroom. Skidding to your knees and slamming the seat up. The last thing you remembered was Henry’s hands gathering your hair away from your face.

You came to expecting to be clinging onto the toilet for dear life. Instead, you were cradled in Henry’s lap, his hand stroking your hair. You squinted as you looked up at him. He was watching tv, and flipping through channels.

“Hey there” he smiled.

“Henry.”

“Yes darling?”

“Water?”

“Of course.” He helped you off of his lap. You rushed to brush your teeth as he made his way to the kitchen to retrieve some water for you.

You had never been so grateful for his persistence as you were making your way back to the sofa. He came back into the living room with a bottle of water and a couple ibuprofen. He sat back down pulling your legs over his lap.

“Take these my love. Judging by the vineyard you projectiled, I think it’s safe to say we need to get some food in you.”

You nodded happily as you sipped the water, swallowing your pills in a poor attempt at staving off a hangover.

“Pizza?” He questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“Carmine’s?” You squeaked hopefully.

“Consider it done my love.”

You watched him as he rubbed your legs and ordered the delicious wood fire pizza.

You didn’t care about anything else right now. You didn’t even think of the dozens of reasons why he shouldn’t be here. You didn’t even worry about what happened beyond tonight. You were just grateful he was here to take care of you.

The two of you laughed and ate while watching movies. You snuggled up against him, deeply breathing in his scent as he kissed the side of your head and hugged you tight.

You sighed heavily, “I don’t deserve you. I’m so sorry. For everything. I’m horrible.”

He rest his chin against your head, “You really are.” He laughed before continuing, “...but I love you. And I understand, I do. But I need you. It’s as simple as that.”

You turned and looked at him, shifting in his lap to face him. “I’m so sorry Henry. Please forgive me. I love you. I-“

“I know my love.”

You leaned forward planting a quick kiss on his lips before ducking your head down feeling almost guilty for it.

“Hey...” he tipped your face up to meet his with his finger. “Don’t I deserve a proper kiss after everything?” He smirked.

You kept a straight face as you climbed off his lap and stood up. He furrowed his brow and gave you a confused look.

“Aren’t you coming? I owe you a proper welcome home.” A brief smile was replaced by a seductive look as you stood there waiting.

His eyes got wide as he jumped up off of the sofa, sweeping you off your feet into his arms as he carried you to bed.

-The End-

[sheerioswifties]

I just. I need to rant a second. We've been having to work SO hard and deal with SO much and frustrations and complications and doing the impossible in order to get past this horrible thing that was done to us and all we lost and rebuild our life from scratch and under the worst circumstances like we didn't get ANY stimulus checks for my husband nor could he get unemployment because of what Bill and Jeanette did, he's worked long hard hours hurting himself and getting no sleep but still not making enough to survive on but *just* enough that we can't get even food stamps but we also cannot afford groceries and we don't have extra things we could cut we already sold all we could, we have no Internet or tv or anything really really crappy cell phone service and both phones are broken his screen doesn't work but we need something for emergencies but I just like. We don't have any family or friends to turn to in the area we're all on our own. We've gotten through the impossible so far on our own but just when I start to feel hope that life is getting better and there's progress that's when the sh*t hits the fan bc we just got hit with a major car problem that's gonna cost at least $2,000 that we do not have and I don't know how to even make it up when we can't afford basic needs and I can't work and he's already burning the candle at both ends but we're stuck we have to figure it out ASAP because time is money with it and I don't know what to do I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO I literally like I'll sell feet pics and I thought about doing only fans or something like has it come to this I just I'm so frustrated I cannot win and I haven't even been able to post the really bad news I dealt with with the trial and my domestic violence case and now we're having to break security protocols risking being stalked and them finding where we are and I JUST NEED A BREAK SO BAD I NEED RESPITE I'M SO STRESSED AND IT'S making all my illnesses flare which makes it even harder to do anything and I'm in SO much pain and I'm just? ?????? I'm at an absolute loss

[atinydise]

Ateez cheating on their s/o (2/2)

❦ Genre: Angst.

❦ Pairing: OT8.

❦ Word count: 1k8.

❦ Masterlist.

Part 1

SAN

You sighed for the 100th times since you started to work. In the last 2 weeks, you were busy at your office. Starting at 7 am and leaving at 11 pm. Fortunately that was exceptional. But you haven’t see your boyfriend since these rushed weeks too. You will need to find him something, like a plushie because he was probably upset. San was the type of boy to spend most of his time with his girlfriend. He needed your attention every time. You didn’t complain as you are the lovely type too.

As you get in at your apartment after your hard day, the only thing you wanted was to call San.

You grabbed your phone and smiled at your wallpaper. It was the first pic you’ve took of San. He was sleeping on the practice room, hugging Shiber. You composed his number and waited to hear his voice. But the only one you heard was the voice mail. Maybe he was busy. You would try again in few minutes. You slipped on your bed and thought what you could buy to apologize. Maybe you could give Shiber a friend to play with. San would be so happy that he could leave you alone for a night and discuss with his plushies. You orderer a panda one. The delivery would be straight to his dorm. He wouldn’t expect it! You tried to call him again. “Hello?” That wasn’t San voice. “Huh, hi? Who are you?” you asked the girl. “Excuse me but what do you want?” she seemed aggressive. “I would like to talk with my boyfriend.” You said coldly. She laughed. “Well you boyfriend is showering right now.” You were extremely confused. “If it’s a joke, it’s not funn-“. “Yuna? What are you doing with my phone?” You heard San’s voice through the phone. What he’s doing with this Yuna? “You had a call from “Y/N”, so I-“ “What? Y/N?” You heard a loud noise before hearing San’s voice. “Y/N?” “Who is she San? What are you doing with her?” You heard a long sigh. “I’m so sorry Y/N… you were so busy… Yuna was there and-“ “I was working San! You cheated on me because I was working? You are so… I hate you so much San!” You sobbed, “you broke my heart even if you promised that you would never.” You hung up. You couldn’t control your sobs. It was so hard to breath.

MINGI

You sighed. You were waiting that your boyfriend text you back the address you were supposed to meet him. This week he was so busy that he missed almost all of your dates. One day you wanted to surprise him. You went to KQ Entertainment with few snacks, as always. But you didn’t expect him to be with another girl. She seemed to be one of their back up dancers. “Hello”, you said as you opened the door. “Y/N? What are you doing here?” he stood up straight off the couch. You raised a brow, “Yes I’m fine, thank you for asking.” “What are you doing here?” he insisted. “I wanted to see you; I’m disturbing something?” as you looked at the girl. “We were talking about our duo for an award show.” “Oh, a duo? That’s so good Mingi! Congrats!” you smiled at him. “Yes, thank you. You should leave now; we need to practice a bit more.” “Okay, sorry. Good luck.” You pecked his lips and give a dead stare to the dancer.

You looked your phone again, still no message. He forgot again. You were about to kill him. You tried to call him, but you instantly heard the voice mail. That was too much, you grabbed your jacket and your key and took a taxi for KQ building. You felt a bit nervous on the car, like if something bad would happen. You shook your head to avoid these bad thoughts and paid your course. You almost rushed to the Ateez practice room. Music was echoing in the hallway. Were they practicing? They might be exhausted. You took a look through the porthole. You almost screamed when you saw Mingi kissing his backup dancer. Your first thought was “maybe it’s in the choreography”. But all your hopes disappeared when Mingi kissed her neck. He was really making out with this girl. Your phone fell of your hands. Both of them stopped their intense kiss. Mingi exited the room to see what was happening when he saw your small figure running to the elevator. “Y/N!” he called you several times. You pushed the button to close the door at least 10 times before he could reach you. You were crying, suffocating in this tiny space. You heart was beating so fast; it was so painful in the same time. You sat in the corner of the elevator, crying so hard. As the door opened, you saw Yunho. He immediately rushed to you and asked. “Y/N? Are you okay?” He hugged you, patting your head as you were sobbing into his chest. “I-I hate him, Yunho.” You sobbed, “I hate him so much.”

WOOYOUNG

Your boyfriend invited you to the cinema since the movie that you really wanted to see came out. Of course, you accepted. Spend some time with Wooyoung was needed after the horrible week you had. “Baby I want candies.” You said to him. “Me too!” You giggled and start to queue. “How was your week babe? I barely saw you.” “Hm… boring. Since the promotions are over, we are practicing or staying at the dorm.” “Really? Why didn’t you come at home when I asked you Monday?” He gulped and his arms tensed. “I-I stayed with the boys. Yeosang wanted to watch a movie.” He smiled at you. But you remembered one detail, “I thought that the TV wasn’t working anymore.” He looked at you, seemed panicked but said cooly. “We took Hongjoong’s laptop!” he scratched his head. Are you working for the FBI, Y/N?” he laughed. “No, it’s just that I missed few details.” There was on awkward silence till the last customer in front of you enumerated his order. “What do you want babe, I’ll pay.” You asked your boyfriend pointing at the billboard. Wooyoung stayed quiet. His body was rigid like paralyzed. “Baby? Are you okay?” He grunted, “Y-Yes Y/N.” As the customer left, you were about to give you your oder but the cashier talked first. “Wooyoung? Wow I didn’t expect to see you here!”. You look at your boyfriend who seemed embarrassed. “Oh… Ajin, hi. Long time no see.” He almost whispered. “Long time? We saw each other at Monday, idiot! Thank you for the ride by the way! She said lightly. “Wooyoung, what is she’s talking about?” “Finally, we won’t buy anything! Bye!” he grabbed your wrist and led you in a quiet corner. But you heard the other girl shout, “Your wallet is still at my home! Come when you want!” That was too much, this situation was confusing you. “Wooyoung”, as you tried to release your wrist to his embrace. “Who’s she? I thought you were with Yeosang?” He sighed and massaged his temples,” I was at the night club. I met Ajin there.” He saw how his explanation were hurting you. “She was drunk and me too. I offered a ride to her because it was dangerous. But we started to…” he paused. Too scared of your reactions. “You started to what Jung Wooyoung?” “To make out…” He stared at you, waiting for a reaction, a breath, a sob, something. The only thing you could do was to throw the tickets at him and push him before leaving, angry and hurt.

JONGHO

You were Jongho’s girlfriend for a year now. Everything was more than fine. You got your good and hard time but nothing too serious. The only thing that bother you was Jongho’s best friend, Eunwoo. She was flirting with him. That was not a best friend behavior. You warned your boyfriend few times, but he would repeat that you were jealous and that was annoying for him. Even Hongjoong noticed the way Eunwoo looks or touch the maknae. He tried to explain to him that he could hurt your feelings, but he only nodded and said that he could try to fix it. This morning you argued one more time when you saw his best friend on his laps. They were only “playing” said the girl to you. As always, the young boy took his friend side and scolded you. You were done with this. You left your apartment to take some fresh air and avoid your boyfriend for the rest of the day. He texted you at lunch, to check if you were still angry. [“Y/N? Are you still mad at me?”] [“Yes. Really mad”] You almost fissured your screen as you pressed the button “send”. [“When are you coming back at home?”] [“I don’t know. When I will be calm again.”] [“Okay… sorry. Take care angel.”] You scoffed. Will he realize one day that his best friend is hitting on him? You spent the day on the mall. Shopping was the best solution to calm your nerves. It was 6pm when you exited the mall. It was dark and cold outside. You looked at your phone, 0 message. He was probably with the boys or Eunwoo. You decided to go back home. On your way, you thought about a solution that could made Jongho realize what Eunwoo wants. Maybe trap her, like flirting with her by his phone and see if she flirts back. Yes, that would be a good idea.

You were in front of you entrance door when you noticed that it wasn’t locked. You called Jongho to see if he did this on purpose but no answer. You slammed the door quietly and hear the TV, maybe he fell asleep. Kissing noises joined the sound of the television, it got your attention. You slowly entered in the living room to see Jongho’s lips on Eunwoo’s one. “May I disturb?” you said. Both of them jumped off the couch. “Well I know she was in love with you but not that you were too.” You walked in front of the girl, gripped by her hair and threw her off the apartment. “Y/N! Stay calm please-“ asked Jongho as Eunwoo screams were resonating in the hallway. “Are you asking me to stay calm?” you laughed, a tear fell on your cheek. “Get out of my apartment! GET OUT!” you yelled. He took his coat and stopped in front of you. “Y/N-“. “Don’t tell me that you are sorry or any other lame excuses.” He stayed quiet so you added “all of your stuff… ask someone to come and take it for you before I burn it.” Another tear escaped, “but I don’t want you to see you ever again Jongho.” He nodded and left. With Eunwoo. As you were crying on your living-room, punching your heart to reduce the pain.

Part 1

[icarusthelunarguard]

This Week’s Horrible-Scopes

Aries

Remember when you were given the award for Perfect Attendance at the end of high school? Never missed a day in 12 years, never missed or late to a class. Watch this…. “HEY! EVERYBODY! ARIES HAD A PERFECT ATTENDANCE RECORD THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION!” --see? Nobody cares. You’re allowed to miss a day here and there. Chill out, already.

Taurus

Friday is Hawai’ian shirt day. Hell, EVERY day could be Hawai’ian Shirt Day when you work from home and telecommute. In your case Taurus, you’ll need to be mindful of your colour-blindness. Pick the wrong shirt and the chroma key will make you look like the weatherman on KJJC-TV out of Great Falls, Montana. You know, a floating head and hands, and no body.

Gemini

Being a parent these days isn’t easy, but imagine what it might have been like back in Medieval days. Kids trying to get to sleep complaining that they hear monsters under the bed might have actually been right. These days you could give the kid a flashlight for protection, and not a wooden dagger. And this is why you shouldn’t have kids; your precious monster collection keeps escaping. You need to be more responsible.

Cancer Moon-Child

The days are longer, the weather is nice, and the car passed inspection. Time to gas up, pick a direction, and just drive! Hop on the highway, wait about 45 minutes, then take the next exit and turn left. Go explore some town you’ve never been to before! And before you get worried you’ll really be lost, just remember; worst case scenario you’ll end up facing an ocean. How lost could you possibly get?

Leo

Summer is right around the corner, so it’s time to plan for it. This year is gunna be better than the summer of ‘84. You remember that summer, right? Your parents told you to put the foil-wrapped potatoes on the bar-b-que and you accidentally put on the Capri-Sun pouches because they were both shiny. That was 37 years ago, get over yourself. Nobody except you remembers it.

Virgo

You need something new in your life this week. How about taking up astrophotography? Yeah, you should really do it with a good quality SLR camera, but you’ve got a spare smart phone, you could still use it. Just point it at the sky, have it record a 10 second picture over and over again, and viola! You have a bunch of crappy pictures of black. Go buy a cheap second-hand SLR and do it right this time.

Libra

We finally uncovered your first lost job. It’s 1979 and you’re tasked with a new recruiting campaign for the United States Navy. Your idea? Film a Music Video on a ship! So you got a film crew, time on the frigate USS Reasoner, and booked The Village People to film the video for, “In The Navy”. The recruitment material from that went nowhere and they instead went with, “Anchors Aweigh!”, a 73 Year Old Song Instead! Even with the New Cultural Hotness you’re STILL way outdated!

Scorpio

The worst game on the Steam Marketplace is named, “University Tycoon: 2019”, it was originally released in the middle of 2018, the creators said, “With the help from beta testers, the game will be out of early access in roughly 5 weeks”, costs $20USD, AND the most common sentiment in the comments is I Want My Money Back. Remember, no matter how badly you think you’re doing in life, you are STILL not this bad!

Sagittarius

You have failed upward in life so hard, people are wondering if you’ve perfected anti-gravity. When they make a bio-pic of your life they’ll describe you as a cross between “The Mule” from Isaac Asimov’s FOUNDATION series, and President Ford. And this time Nicholas Cage is NOT taking the part!

Capricorn

Your socks don't match, but that’s ok. We’re proud that you were able to dress yourself fully today. Means you’re feeling better and motivated. Tomorrow you could wear only left socks… or one fishnet thigh-high and one bobby sock. The choices are up to you.

Aquarius

In your quest to come across as better educated, might we suggest you take elocution lessons, but in languages OTHER than English? Sure, you can lay a blue stream as good as any Northampton Fishermen or Navy Squaddie, but being able to say “Nahm deh de-you duh poo-pahn dee boar-del deh mur-dee duh slop-ree dee conehead dunsell dee-tah mee-ree” would sound a LOT better if you actually spoke French. (Nom de dieu de putain de bordel de merde de saloperie de connard d'enculé de ta mère.)

Pisces

You are a natural liar. And for a creative mind like yours it’s no wonder you tend to write science fiction. After all, what is such a novel except a lie that people want to believe could be real one day? So keep up the good work, and remember polygraph tests are not legal in a court of law.