#hopefully writing will resume this weekend

[dodger-chan]

I was tagged by @cchapsticck for WIP Wednesday.

As it happens, I was a little busy Wednesday with a minor dental emergency, the cause and aftermath of which put a bit of a crimp in my writing schedule. The result: the most recent thing I've written is what will likely be the ending/epilogue of Reveal the Yearning Desert. So instead of those spoilers, please accept the beginning of part two (which will hopefully go up some time next week)

It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks all striking thirteen couldn’t have made it any weirder.

It had been a shit day in what was turning out not to be his year afterall, and Eddie found himself in no state of mind to walk the fine line between causing pain and causing damage. So he left a note in Harrington’s locker, begging off their planned evening meeting and that should have been the end of it.

But these days Steve confounded Eddie’s expectations as often as he met them.

If he’d thought about it, Eddie would have predicted that fucking Steve Harrington would have brought an end to their occasional casual interactions. That Harrington would ignore him, stare right past him if they passed in the hall. If he’d been in a particularly pessimistic mood, he’d have predicted a certain amount of bullying. Harrington pushing Eddie into lockers as he passed, making his disdain obvious to all.

Eddie would never have guessed Harrington would have the balls to pretend nothing had changed. To ask Eddie for a light when he forgot his own. To laugh and roll his eyes when Eddie’s orations were particularly amusing. To talk down his teammates when one of Eddie’s anti-jock rants riled them up a little too much.

Still, such interactions were hardly direct conversation.

“Munson, hold up a second,” Harrington called, abandoning a scowling Carol Perkins to jog over. Eddie also wouldn’t have predicted Steve choosing the girl’s side in what had been the nastiest breakup to grace the halls of Hawkins High in living memory. Though he had, of course, managed the skillful social dance of remaining at least superficially friendly with Hagan as well.

“The Hair himself, deigning to speak to me?” Harrington smirked and steered them to an almost private stretch of hallway. Fully private now; the loiterers cleared off like they’d been given some signal. “And alone, too. What will everyone think?”

“That I’m buying.” A plausible excuse. Harrington wasn’t his most regular customer, but he did buy pot on occasion. Still paid for it, too, though without the rich asshole tax despite being both. “I got your note. Something came up?”

“Pretty self-explanatory.” It was as much of an explanation as Harrington needed.

“A good something? Or a bad something?” Harrington was trying to look him in the eye. Eddie fixed his gaze on a point over the other boy’s shoulder. “Because if-”

“Maybe I’m just not in the mood,” Eddie interrupted. He glanced quickly up and down the hall; no one was close enough to overhear. “I don’t have the energy. Not tonight, Josephine.”

It was a bit risqué for such a public locale, but it was perfect for getting Harrington to back off. With an eye roll, and a sure, whatever, Munson but Eddie was once again undisturbed in his misery.

[dcviated]

...and the great shroud of the sea rolled on as it rolled five thousand years ago.

[willowdied]

y'all i am once again ill as all hell but you guys have to listen to laura bailey sing in this new video game that's coming out-

[writingwithfolklore]

The (not so) Secret Magic of Asking for Things

                I’ve taken three classes I didn’t have the prerequisites for, gotten two jobs in editing, and was offered an internship with a big magazine. My secret? I asked.

                It sounds almost too simple to be true, but that really is all you need to do to get what you want. Ask the right way, to the right person, at the right time, and you can get just about anything you want. The worst thing that has ever happened to me from asking for what I want was an apologetic no. The best things? Jobs I love, classes I’m enjoying, and an internship that’s going to look amazing on my resume.

                When emailing, there’s a structure to making requests. Here’s an email I sent out to take a creative writing class I shouldn’t have been able to take as example:

Subject: Program Override for (Course) (keep it short and clear)

Hello Person,

I hope you’re having a good morning/week/weekend. (always open with a nice pleasantry. Sets a good tone).

I am a third year student in (program) looking to take (course), however I noticed there was a program restriction that bars me from registering for it. (Start with a very quick context, only keep the details that are absolutely necessary.)

Creative writing is my greatest passion and I constantly strive to be better at it. (Course) would allow me to grow my skills in this area and gain valuable connections with other writers at (school). If there is any way to override the restriction, I would be endlessly grateful.

(Make personal connection and state clearly what you want.)

Thank you,

(Sign off)

                Easy peasy, right?

                Other opportunities I got came from knowing the right people. I asked one of my profs if she knew of any internships, and she happened to know an editor of a magazine that she reached out to on my behalf. Within a month I had an interview with them. I made friends with a guy who was hiring for an editing position—I told him I would be interested in it, and in a few weeks I got the job.

                Make clear to the people around you the goals and things that you want. I tend to mention these goals during the “say one interesting thing about you” class introductions thing they make us do.

                So many times have I said, “Hi, I’m Annai and I’m a novel writer looking to get published in YA and hopefully children’s writing” and have had people come up to me with offers to collab on a children’s book, or who know someone getting published, or have a family member who is an editor.

                If you want it, just ask.

[jnkgrnde]

school kicking my ass y’all free me…

haven’t been able to write this cs i’ve been busy w getting resumes n stuff tg but i’ll be writing a little bit each day cs i have smth in the drafts so i’ll hopefully post this weekend JS WALK W ME!

[blackjackkent]

OK, I ended up getting very distracted after work finishing up this one-shot and also poking a bit more at Open Your Eyes so I may not get to Rakha stuff tonight.

As I mentioned earlier, doing some thinking about Rakha's liveblog in light of the Patch 7 announcements that happened today. Given there's supposed to be lots of major/minor fixes to Wyll's romance as part of that release, it seems like it would be a bummer not to make sure that gets incorporated into Rakha's story.

For those following along with her (however many of you there are <3 ), I think here is the updated plan:

Emperor reveal and associated shenanigans Thurs/this weekend.

Find out on the 22nd if I got into the closed beta.

If I did (and if I'm allowed to post publicly about it, idk the rules), Rakha's story continues as normal.

If I didn't, pause for ~6-8 weeks while waiting for it to officially drop. In the meantime, I try to knock out some of my writing backlog and probably reblog even more ask memes than usual. XD

Resume Rakha's story when Patch 7 drops.

Hopefully no one minds the potential delay and y'all are willing to wait for Act 3. XD I shall do my best to be entertaining in other ways in the meantime. :P

[rottenaero]

Send me an ask for W.I.P weekend with any of the following emojis and I’ll write five sentences for a fic I’m working on!

🦇

“ Diagnoses, doc?”

The jock curls his lip, starts heading to his wardrobe to find a shirt he can cut the back out of. “ I need you to shower, then we’re calling Joyce and Hopper so we can hopefully figure out why the hell you’re so-” He lifts his hands, gestures vaguely behind him as he pulls out a washed-out Hawkins Swim Team shirt, “-ehh.”

Eddie furrows his brows, “ Is that a technical term?” He asks.

🎧

He clicks on the movie, starts preparing his snacks in front of him “ ‘ Am I keeping this schedule?’ Hell no, think I’d actually go insane, sorry shit-heads. It’s only resuming for about-“ He twists his chair, shoving a couple puffs of kernel corn popcorn into his mouth.

“-two more weeks? And it’s not really a schedule.” He shrugs as he adjusts back to his normal position. “ My husband is just out of the house, he’ll be back for a few days, then he has one more week of absence.”

🪻

As soon as the door shuts behind them, she’s off, not waiting a second for a ‘whats wrong?’ or ‘ did you seriously just skip class?’

“ Okay, so- Thérèse and I were talking, right? And Nolan- that super annoying trombone? He came up mid-convo and just like- asked me out! And obviously, I was like ‘ Uh, gross dude, no.’ and he’s like ‘ Why? Are you a dyke?’ And I panicked so I said, ‘ No, I just have a boyfriend.’ “

Accepting emojis until Monday,, I may take a while to get to them since I have a concert Saturday,, but I promise I’ll get to them!

[twistedtummies2]

I HAVE RETURNED!

Ahoy there, comrades and knaves! As of last night, I have officially returned from my trip out of state. I'm going to attempt to continue commissions this week, starting on Wednesday. We shall see how things go.

During my trip, among other events, I saw the stage version of The Lion King (twas glorious), and I also got to see "Kung Fu Panda 4" in theaters. (It grieved me to see how empty the seats were.) Not sure what the general opinion of the movie is, but I think it's good. It's a bit different, in some ways, from the past three, and I personally think the first two films are still the best two of the bunch, but it's not a bad entry at all: the returning faces, even if a lot of them don't actually do a whole lot, are nice to see back in form. As for the new faces - most notably the main villain and our deuteragonist - they are fun and interesting additions. The animation is also still top notch.

Also, we get Tenacious D covering a Britney Spears song over the end credits. This is worth celebrating.

ANYWAY...like I said, I'll hopefully resume commission writing in a few days. I want to take this weekend and the early part of the week to try and finish a personal piece I've been working on, then I'll get back into comms, as well as a gift story for someone. If you're reading this, you know who you are.

Thank you for your patience, comrades and knaves alike.

[bokunoheros]

hi everyone i just wanted to say i took a break from working on kinktober today to do a portrait of mizuki akiyama if any of yall know who that is 😊😊😊 but! i will resume my regular nonstop writing tomorrow! plus i have a long weekend so hopefully i can wrap things up soon 😭🙏 thank yall for your continued support and rapid fuckinf growth holy shit ilysm —🦊

[scarletttries]

Author's Update: It's my 9 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

This was very funny timing from Tumblr - I started writing fanfic after my university boyfriend broke my heart, and I was living alone for a summer in my gross student house, working a shitty internship, and generally feeling really quite lost. I was reading Castiel fanfiction faster than others could write it, so decided to try and make some of my own - and I loved it!

Flash forward nine years, and this weekend I got married to the man of my dreams, surrounded by amazing friends, and now I'm in a home I love, excited to start a new job soon, and I'm back to writing fanfiction! I still love it, and I'm even starting to write my own fiction book that hopefully one day I can share with you all 🥰

I don't know who needs to hear this, so in case it's you: Things will work out. Maybe not in the way you expect, and maybe not without a bunch of horrific shit happening first, but one day you will wake up feeling happy, and realise it's because you have every reason to be ☀️🩷

So until then, keep trying, keep reading and writing, and keep going 🌸

And normal fanfiction posting will resume this weekend with some Steven Grant and Roman Roy content 😉 Enjoy and thank you for the support!

[andiatas]

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm starting to feel bad for Marius. Yes, he's 27 years old and a grown adult. He has to take responsibility for himself and his actions. But on the other hand, he's just 27 years old. He's still young, an idiot and clearly still has some growth to do.

This is no Prince Harry, who has never taken responsibility for himself and is actively trying to hook the entire world onto drugs because, according to him, that's the best form of therapy. This is no Prince Andrew, who lied on international TV despite being advised against it, hid behind his mother because he "obviously" had done nothing wrong, and threw money around him, wishing his problems could go away.

What Marius did was horrible, disgusting and unforgivable. I feel for his victims and wouldn't be surprised if they never want to see him again. He will likely spend some time in jail and pay a hefty fine. However, he has publicly owned up to what he did at the beginning of this month. He has publicly apologised to her and his family, and he publicly admitted that he has a problem with addiction. One that he has struggled with for quite some time. He even told us that he has sought treatment for it in the past and will do so again. Marius literally wrote that it's not an excuse for his behaviour; he just wanted to give us context.

All this being said, I'm starting to feel bad for him because it seems like people are revelling and taking the opportunity to pile onto him, left and right. Just to be clear, I'm not talking about those two ex-girlfriends who came forward with accusations of domestic violence. I'm talking about the people coming forward with the stupidest and most petty things ever, purely because "well, everyone else is putting forward charges/stories against him." I'm talking about his so-called friends selling private photos because tabloids across the entirety of Europe are chewing this up. Also, don't get me started on some of the reactions and comments I've seen across social media. The audacity of some of you...

Marius is already paying for this and will likely literally have to pay for this. The most important person in this story, the victim, seems satisfied with his actions. She was happy and welcomed that he apologised and owned up to his mental issues and substance abuse. Once again, he literally wrote, and I quote: "I will now resume this treatment and take it very seriously. The drug use and my diagnoses do not excuse what happened in the apartment at Frogner on the night of Sunday last weekend. I want to be responsible for my actions and will explain myself truthfully to the police."

He knows he f*cked up, he has owned up to what he did, he will cooperate with the police, he will go to rehab again (hopefully, he will also learn to choose better friends). What's the point of piling onto him and trying to paint him in an even worse light? What's the point of publishing and spreading awful photos and stories of him across tabloids? Give the man a break; he has already put himself in a terrible position.

P.S. I'm writing all of this as someone who grew up and survived domestic violence for over 20 years. Not from a partner, but from my biological parents. This is not a topic I take lightly.

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Connection: Logan

Read on Ao3

Warnings: uh, calculus? other than that none

Pairings: logince

Word Count: 2502

Out of all the decisions he's made for this semester, the one he's the most pleased with is the hybrid studying/tutoring arrangement he's come to with the attractive jock who sits next to him in his Intro to Calculus class.

He's one of those students who gets easily intimidated by the formulas and vocabulary necessary for the subject, but he's persistent and determined in a way that many wouldn't be and so he's quite capable of doing the work, which is a relief. Logan can count on one hand the number of students he's tutored that have shown as much interest and passion as Roman.

Of course, it doesn't hurt that he's very pretty, either.

Roman's already at their table—yes, it is their table, Logan's had an arrangement with the librarians since the first semester and Roman is the only person that is permitted to sit at it aside from him, not that Roman knows that—when he arrives, typing madly on his laptop with just the tip of his tongue poking out. He must be incredibly focused; typically, he only does that when he's forgotten Logan's there. Careful not to startle him, Logan eases into the seat across from him, getting out his own textbooks and materials to the rhythmic click-clack of Roman's typing. Every so often, he sees him glance at something on the corner of his screen—the clock, most likely—and resume typing at a faster rate.

Ah. He must be trying to finish before our time starts.

Sure enough, one minute before their scheduled slot, Roman clicks the last button with a flourish and slumps into his hands, letting out a low groan.

"That seemed productive."

Logan chuckles as Roman startles, a light pink flush touching the tips of his ears as he flails.

"Careful."

"For—how long have you been there?"

"Not long, only a few minutes."

"I didn't even notice you."

"I know." He nods to the laptop. "You seemed intent on finishing your work, it was hardly my place to disturb you. Did you finish?"

"Yeah, sent the draft along to my editors. Hopefully, that clears my weekend."

"Ah, of course. When does the next issue release?"

"Next Wednesday. They want to do a bigger piece covering the rise of generative text technology and how it's affecting the creative community at large, so I've got a larger word count to work with. Which is nice, 'cause then I can actually express some of the more complex concepts, but also…more words."

"I see."

"Sorry, I don't mean to go off-topic. Math, right." Logan chuckles, watching him put away his laptop and get out the books and his calculator. "Okay. So."

"So?"

"What the fuck," he mumbles in a tone so exasperated, Logan has to hide a smile behind his hand, "why—I think I got as far as 'area underneath a curve' before I lost it."

"You're referring to the applications of derivatives." When Roman just blinks at him, he shakes his head. "Do you remember the difference between definite integration and indefinite integration?"

"There's two?" he asks weakly.

"Yes, there are two. It'll help you understand the 'area underneath a curve' business if you understand those first."

Roman huffs, pinching the bridge of his nose for a moment before he nods and starts flipping through his notebook again. "Okay. I, uh, do I remember that? Well, I definitely wrote down and underlined 'definite integration' so I must. Let's see…oh, is this the thing with c?"

"If by 'the thing with c,' you mean performing the integration between limits where c's value becomes irrelevant, then yes, this is the thing with c."

"Great." Roman claps his hands. "I definitely understood some of the words you just used."

"We all start somewhere." Logan sets aside his textbook and reaches for a blank piece of paper, writing down the integration formula with limits and turning it so Roman can see. "So. This is the formula for definite integration, do you recognize it?"

"Uh, sort of? This is just the normal integration formula, isn't it? It's just got…extra bits." He points to the square brackets and the limits. "These. Why did you put more letters in front of me, Logan, are there not enough already?"

"Those 'extra letters' are the limits."

"So…the bounds? Like—we're only integrating part of the curve?"

"Yes, precisely. The upper one is 'b,' the lower one is 'a.'"

"Will there ever be a case where 'b' is the lower one?"

"No."

"What happens if I write them the other way around?"

"Well, you'll probably get the wrong answer, unless you correct for that in your calculations."

"Okay, but like, sirens aren't gonna go off, I'm not gonna get arrested for writing them the wrong way."

Logan chuckles. "No, darling, you won't be arrested."

"Great!" A sharp nod. punctuated by a light pink on his cheeks. "So. Limits. And then on the other side, that's just the fancy way of writing the 'between these two numbers,' right?"

"Correct. And then what this comes out looking like when we actually integrate—" he rotates the paper to write down the factorized version and spins it back— "is this. So as you can see, this c will cancel out and we'll be left with g(b)-g(a)."

"Wait, why does it cancel out?"

Logan pauses, tilting his head, before he offers the pencil to Roman. Roman looks at it as though it were radioactive and he chuckles. "Can you show me why?"

"If I'm asking you why, why would I—you know what, sure, fine, I'll try."

He takes the pencil and pulls the sheet of paper towards him, frowning as he starts to write. Logan takes a moment to appreciate the way his fingers wrap around his pencil, the other hand splayed out to balance him as he leans forward. He must be incredible to watch as he plays or acts; if this is how he moves when he's uncomfortable, what would it be like to see him fully confident? Perhaps he'll have to go to the next game, it's only a few hours, he can spare that. A single lock of hair flops in front of his ear as the pencil scratches against the paper.

"Wait, what?"

Logan blinks, looking back at Roman's work. He's gotten most of the way through it, except he's ended up with +2c instead. He looks up, confused. Logan reaches for the pencil and takes it, carefully drawing a circle around the subtract sign and setting the pencil down. Roman's brow furrows harder, before realization flickers across his features and he fixes his mistake. He puts the pencil back down and leans back in his chair, one hand covering his face.

"Don't be embarrassed," Logan chides, "I've made that mistake too."

"Sure."

"Believe me, when it's something you do in front of the entire class, you tend to remember it." He pulls the piece of paper back. "Now, let's try it with an…"

He trails off when he notices Roman hasn't moved. He frowns.

"Roman?"

Roman's hand drags slowly down his nose, revealing his eyes. Oh. Oh, dear.

"Darling—"

"Sorry," Roman interrupts before Logan can finish, sitting forward and summoning an energy he clearly doesn't have, "let's try it with a what, now?"

When Logan doesn't say anything, he glances up.

"A what?" he repeats, more forcefully. Logan heeds the silent get on with it and focuses back on the paper.

"Let's try it with an example." He writes down a simple integration problem. "Do you want to walk through it together, or do you want to try it on your own first?"

"Can I try it with my notes first?"

"Of course."

"Thanks." He pulls the piece of paper towards himself and starts glancing between it and his notes. "Oh, shit, I stole your pencil. Here—"

"It's alright, I've got another."

Try as he might, however, Logan cannot focus on doing his own work, not when Roman's utterly defeated gaze still lingers in his mind. He's noticing it in the slump of his shoulders now, too, in the way his pencil almost flops out of his hands a few times as he tries to do the problem. He's taken his bottom lip between his teeth. It looks painful.

Logan glances towards Roman's backpack where he'd packed away his laptop. Roman is able to write articles that don't require much editing before they're approved to be published. He has a successful job as a writer while he's still in school. He's clever, frighteningly insightful, and clearly has the work ethic to match it. And yet, in the same breath, Roman will say that he's not smart.

As much as Logan enjoys this time with Roman, he wishes it didn't come at the expense of Roman's own self-esteem.

"What the fuck does that even say," Roman mumbles, bringing a small smile to his face, "you know what? No, we're making shit up now."

He pushes his notebook to the side and concentrates on the problem, adjusting his grip on the pencil and scribbling something down. Logan watches as he squints at what he's written a few times, erasing one number and changing it, before he reaches for his calculator. He types a few things in and writes down the answer.

"Okay, that's my best guess."

Logan takes it, looking down and picking up his own pencil. He has to brush a few stray eraser bits out of the way, but when he sees what Roman's done, he can't stop himself from smiling.

"So?"

"Well done."

"Wait, really?"

"Yes, darling. You did it. That's correct."

The relief that hits Roman is enough to make him sag against the table, slumping down with a groan. Logan chuckles, barely resisting the urge to reach out a ruffle his hair. "I'm so gonna fail this class."

"I've just told you that you've done it correctly and now you think you're failing?"

He props his chin on his folded arms and Loren has to clench his fist under the table when he pouts. "This was an easy question and it felt like I was climbing up a gravel hill. How'm I supposed to do a whole test on this?"

"By taking it one question at a time." Roman huffs and he taps his nose with the eraser of his pencil. "Chin up, darling, you'll get there."

But Roman doesn't move, staring morosely at the paper. "I have to, don't I?"

"What do you mean, 'have to?'"

"Professor Weiss isn't gonna cut me any slack if I don't get at least 80% on this next assignment, so…"

Logan frowns. "I'm sure if you talked to him—"

"I did. I do. All the time. He just doesn't like me."

"I'm sure that's not true—"

"Yeah, it is," and that horribly defeated look is back, "he thinks I shouldn't be in an intro class when I'm a junior. He thinks I'm slacking off and he said he's not gonna let me just skate by."

Anger flares in Logan's chest and he sets his pencil down carefully. "He said that to you?"

"And I mean, I get it. Intro classes are reserved mainly for freshmen and people who transfer in, but like—math is hard for me, okay? It's not like I'm not trying, it's just really hard."

"I'm also in this class," Logan points out gently.

"Yeah, but you're taking this as your fun class. You're doing high-level math and physics and super complicated stuff in all your other classes and this one's just to help you round out your skillset. That's not the same thing."

Logan opens his mouth to say something else when Roman jerks up and shakes himself hard.

"Sorry, sorry, I got carried away. Let's get back to work. What should we do next—is it different when one of the limits is a negative number or something?"

Before he can think better of it, Logan reaches out and covers Roman's hand. The poor thing startles, but doesn't pull away.

"Listen to me for a moment, okay?" Roman nods. "Don't base your intelligence off of whether or not you can do calculus. Calculus is hard, infamously so, even for people who are proficient in other forms of math. Your grades are fine. I've seen your test results, you're not anywhere near the bottom third of the students in our class. It's alright that it's a bit of a struggle for you, the important thing is that you're struggling through it. And if the professor is being obnoxious, we'll report him for it."

Roman splutters. "I'm sorry, we'll what?"

"You said it feels as if he's targeting you specifically, yes? We can report him for that. It's unfair to single you out for any reason when you're performing decently in his class."

"You just want to fight him, don't you?"

"Perhaps."

"Is this because he refused to let you use the shortcut you used in physics because it's not 'technically' how you're supposed to do it?"

"Perhaps."

Roman laughs and Logan smiles, giving his hand a squeeze. "Thanks, Logan. I, um…I really, really appreciate you being willing to sit and explain things to me over and over again. I wouldn't…I wouldn't have the grades I do if it weren't for you."

"Believe me, the pleasure's all mine."

"Really? What do you even get out of this?"

"Aside from the fact that teaching someone else helps me understand it better, I enjoy spending time with you."

He snorts. "Fair enough. And here I thought you'd ask me out to dinner like everyone else does."

"I don't think that would be a good idea."

Oh. Oh, no, too cruel—Roman wilts, his expression flickering a few times before it settles on quiet acceptance. He takes his perceived rejection with a silent nod, going to pull away.

Logan quickly tightens his grip.

"What—"

"You've said in the past," he says before Roman can finish, "that you find some of my behaviors…distracting. For the sake of helping us remain focused on our work, I've attempted to tone them down. If we went out to dinner, however…"

He reaches forward and tucks that lock of hair behind Roman's ear.

"…I wouldn't exactly have much of an incentive to do that, now would I?"

Roman's eyes widen and Logan chuckles, letting the poor thing breathe as he pulls away. Roman sits there for a few more seconds, blinking before he shakes his head.

"You're the worst," he manages weakly and Logan laughs again.

"You're blushing."

"Shut up." He shakes his head. "No. Integration. Calculus. More numbers. We can talk about dinner later."

"Is that a yes, then?"

"I was never actually asked, so—no, no," he says quickly when Logan raises an eyebrow and leans in again, "that was not a complaint. Shut up."

"So?"

"Depends on whether or not someone else asked before you did."

"Oh? You have a lot of people asking you out?"

"What, you want a list?"

"Yes, actually."

"Oh my god, you're unbelievable."

Very pretty. Very, very pretty.

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[sleepy-gardevoir]

march 24, 2023 - friday week 3

sorry for the late post! almost a third done with the quarter already! did a literature summary for research and learned some more carbohydrate stuff in biochemistry. we had a quiz today which was definitely... something. there was a prospective student there so i hope we didn't scare him off! x)

this weekend, i'll be looking at the info for a conference i'm going to next week and working out my schedule while i'm there. i'll hopefully also be applying for jobs with my new and improved resume! i have to submit a resume and cover letter (and a postmortem about the writing process) on sunday, and i've got most of the hard work done. i think i'm in a good place so far!

i also got my ears pierced today! i got my second lobe piercings. i love them and i'm really excited to be able to switch them out and make lots of fun combinations of earrings.

song of the day: i got my tooth removed by 100 gecs

[fluffytriceratops]

I've been wanting to come online for a while now and start going through stuff and post things. But shit keeps happening in my life to prevent that.

My senior cat, who I've had almost my entire life, I got him when I was 2, making him 18. He'll be 19 this April. Has been going downhill lately.

He's lost most of his sight. And his hearing isn't great either. The biggest problem is one of his eyes which has suddenly turned bright blood red over the span of a few days.

I'll be needing to take him to the vet as soon as I can. Hopefully tomorrow. (It's the 24th of Feb as I'm writing this)

Vet bills are so expensive, and after looking into it with my sister, they'll need to do a lot of tests. My family and I don't really have the money for this. I myself only have a couple hundred in the bank. And I'll most likely be spending it all on vet bills.

I'm not currently working, but I'll be putting out my resume right away and try to save up as much as I can.

If I lose him, I don't know what I'll do.

He means the world to me and I know death is inevitable, but even thinking of it brings me to tears.

I'm writing this as sort of an explanation as to why I'm not active and might not be for a while.

I know my family and I will figure it out. But if it's as bad as it's looking, I might need to take more time off than I wanted and expected.

This really is the worst timing, too, because it's my little brothers birthday today, and we're throwing him a party this weekend.

Having a sick animal during what is supposed to be a fun time is always shitty. And I don't want this to ruin his birthday but that's sort of out of my hands.

I just wish things could be different. Idk..

I'll post an update on my cat when needed to keep everyone in the loop.

Any prayers and well wishes are more than welcome!

And sharing and spreading the word would be a great help too! ^^

Thank you all so much for being amazing and kind and patient with me. I love and miss you all so so much. ❤️💕

His name is Trooper. And he's my baby. I know some people will think he's just a pet. But to me he is so much more than that. He's my world.

Sending all my love and hugs. xox

— LF / Fluffy. <3

[ivarlover]

UNEXPECTED

Part 4, 1ST HALF (sequel #3 to UNLEASHED and UNDENIABLE)

Alex + Modern Ivar

Mentions of Female Reader + Hvitserk

NSFW 18+ ONLY

If you're new here and want to catch up, just scroll down my page, and the first chapter to UNLEASHED is at the bottom, then UNDENIABLE, and now, UNEXPECTED...

This was supposed to be just a one-shot, but that thoughtis long since gone. At this point, I have no idea how many chapters this will end up consiating of. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it!🔥

Summary: During a hot weekend with your classmate, Alex, and his best friend, Ivar, the two of them had their own fun together. And now, it had turned into an entire relationship between the two of them that neither of them had seen coming. Now, that reality had set in, they navigate the relationship and all that comes along with it, the good, the bad, and the unexpected. Now that they were just getting into the swing of things and finding their groove, Ivar's ex fiance comes back into the picture, and it seems she is sure to shake things up.

Warnings, The sequel in general: Totally NSFW, Unprotected anal sex (male receiving), oral, male to male contact and more, a bad case of the feels, language, smut, with me, there is ALWAYS smut. 🤣 Each chapter will have its own warnings.

This chapter: This chapter is after the flashback is over, and now we resume after Alex and Ivar discover Katia has a baby. Language, smut, of course, oral, major case of the feels, inaccurate medical descriptions, diagnosis, and practices, Ivar being Ivar

Please leave a comment and let me know what you think!

Words: I don't know; there are MANY words

Note from me: My apologies for how long this has taken, but hopefully, the length of this chapter will make up for it. In fact, I've had to separate this one onto two separate chapters. Sorry! It's long, but hopefully, you'll like it!

Let me know if you want on or off the tag list!

Thank you to @lostasalice-thisway for your help and support during this long journey to get this chapter finished and finally posted! Couldn't have done it without you!

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Alex drove Ivar's car as closely behind the ambulance as he safely could. Thankfully, the paramedics let them use a carseat for the baby, who was now strapped in it in the backseat, crying. "Mama," she softly sobbed between her tears.

Ivar stared straight ahead, still completely in shock. "Ivar, please, can you check on her? Make sure she's buckled in correctly or something. See if you can figure out why she's crying."

Ivar turned to Alex and just stared. "Please, Ivar. Just check on the baby."

"Umm, how...uh how do I know what's wrong? How do I know if she's buckled in correctly? I don't know anything! Fucking Katia saw to that. How could she have done this to me?"

Alex placed his hand over Ivar's and gently squeezed. "I'm so sorry, Ivar. I know this is a lot, but we don't have any details yet. Just breathe. We'll figure this out together. I called Hvitserk and Y/N before we left the park. They're going to meet us at the hospital and watch the baby so you can talk to medical personnel and find out what the fuck is going on., but right now, please just see if shes ok."

Still dazed, Ivar turned to the baby. He reached back and placed his hand on her and she immediately grabbed it. His touch seemed to calm her a bit and she just stared into his eyes. As much as he wanted to deny it, his heart melted. "That. Whatever it is that you're doing right now, do that. She calmed down quickly," Alex told him, still concentrating on driving.

"Umm, I only touched her. She grabbed my hand and she's staring at me, Alex."

Alex grinned, "See there? You have always had a way with women."

Rolling his eyes, Ivar asked, "Alex, do you think she's really mine? I mean, what is she, like a year old already? How could she be mine?" He was in deep thought now, "Unless..."

At the same time, they both said, "Unless she was pregnant when she left."

Ivar turned back around, facing the road in front of him, "What a fucking bitch! Why would she do that to me? What the hell did I ever do to her?"

Before Alex could even answer him, the baby began to cry again. Ivar turned back and looked at her, wanting so badly to hate her, but there was something about her little, cute face and her beautiful, blue eyes that just wouldn't let him. He knew, afterall, if she was his for sure, none of this was her fault. He wondered just how badly a child needed her mother because murder was still a very good option for him to end this bullshit with Katia.

He reached back to her again and placed his hand near hers. Again, she instantly grabbed his hand and began to calm down some. "I think she likes me," he mumbled out, still just looking at her in complete and udder shock.

He thought about all the things he'd missed with her if she was, in fact, his, all the firsts, her being born, her first bath, if she could walk or take any steps yet, her first words. He saw red.

He hadn't thought of Katia or how things had ended between them in a very long time. He remembered Hvitserk being furious with him for not chasing her down to get his money, he remembered all the heartache she'd left behind, how he'd sat in his dark home for weeks on end with Alex and Hvitserk checking in on him regularly. He remembered how he wouldn't ever take off the necklace she'd given him and how freeing it had felt when he was finally able to. He remembered how long it took him to seriously, finally get over her, he remembered all the lies he'd found but only after her abrupt departure. What a deceitful bitch! And now, this? This was too much. He didn't want anything to do with Katia at all, but now he knew, if this baby really was his, he'd have to deal with her, in one way or another, for the rest of his life.

There was no way he could turn his back on his own child if that's what she was. He knew there were about to be some big changes and even bigger decisions. He wondered how good of a chance he'd have at getting custody of her and he and Alex raise her. Oh shit! Alex! He was instantly worried about this being too much for Alex to handle. They'd only, just now, begun to really get to their "normal." What if Alex couldn't or wouldn't want this responsibility? His heart began to pound in his chest. He wouldn't chose between his child and the love of his life. He knew he'd be willing to take his own life first.

"Ivar? Did you hear me? We're here. Do you want to get the baby out or would you like me to?"

"Umm, uh...you?" Ivar was just lost.

Alex remembered that look across Ivar's face, complete devastation. How he hated seeing it across his face again! It had been quite a while. He was really worried for him. He got out and got the baby.

As Ivar got out and walked around the car, the baby nearly lunged out of Alex's arms, trying to get to Ivar. Alex held her tightly and said, "Now, let's not end up falling, too, little one. That's all we need."

She stretched out her arms toward Ivar, still relentlessly trying to get to him. Ivar looked at Alex questionly. Alex just shrugged his shoulders. Ivar held his arms up to her and she practically jumped into them.

Once Ivar was holding her, she laid her tiny head on his shoulder and hugged him. Ivar's eyes widened as he stood there, not knowing what to do. He'd not expected the warmth that her little hug gave him. As he stood there, questioning everything he knew, he abruptly grabbed her off of him and yanked her away. He shoved her back into Alex's arms, screaming and crying, and quickly walked inside the hospital without looking back.

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Ivar stood, waiting, with Alex, Hvitserk, and Y/N, who was holding the baby, for someone to tell them something. "This is insane, man. How do you even know she's your's?" Hvitserk complained.

Rocking the baby gently, you smiled, "Well, c'mon, look at her. How is she not?"

"Not now," Ivar answered.

"Well, you better at least get a..." Hvitserk began.

"I said not now, Hvits," Ivar cut him off.

At that time, a doctor approached. "Who's responsible for this woman?"

Looking around at everyone else, Ivar stepped forward, "Umm, I am?"

"Not financially, though!" Hvitserk added as Ivar gave him a look that told him to shut up. "What?" Hvitserk said, half smiling.

"Please come with me." Ivar followed as he turned back and looked at Alex apologetically.

When they got just outside Katia's room, the doctor held up her chart. "It says here that her next of kin is umm, an Ivy Lothbrok?"

"Umm, that must be me. I think it's a misprint. I'm Ivar Lothbrok."

"And you are?" Ivar looked at him quizzically. "Are you her husband, Mr. Lothbrok?"

"Oh. No! Absolutely not!"

"Well," he flipped through some of the documents in the chart he was still holding, "Unless you are an eleven month old female, then I don't believe it's a misprint. Is Ivy your daughter perhaps?"

Ivar gulped. Ivy? She was named after him? He was in awe and also a little pissed. And eleven months old. He definitely needed to do the math. "Sir?"

"Oh, umm, sorry. That's just it. I don't know if she's my daughter or not. I umm, I just found out she even existed at all," Ivar studdered.

"Do you have your ID with you Mr. Lothbrok?"

Ivar grabbed his wallet out of his pocket and shuffled through it and handed the doctor his ID. "Ok, it says here that you're the father and if anything should happen to her, Miss. Ivy is to go to you and you have all the decision rights without question, sir."

Ivar stepped back, trying to catch his breath, and questioned, "What? I, umm, I-I'm what?"

Showing him the chart, the doctor showed where he was listed as Ivy's father on the birth certificate and in the other paperwork. "Wait. How is that possible? I've never signed any birth certificate? I didn't even know about her."

"Well, Mr. Lothbrok, this was in Russia. I don't know what their practice is there. Here, you would have to be present and sign to be on her birth certificate."

"Umm, do you guys do DNA or any of of paternity tests here?" Ivar couldn't just take Katia's word for it. It wasn't like she'd proven herself to be trustworthy.

"We do, on the second floor, but there's a paternity test in her file already that says you're the father."

Ivar thought for a second, "Again, how was it done if I wasn't present for it?"

"That," the doctor began, "I can't tell you. It was also performed in Russia."

"Well, Katia is going to need surgery to save her life. Since this paperwork gives you the right to make decisions should something happen and Ivy is a baby, we need your written consent."

Ivar felt overwhelmed. "What's wrong with her? And how long does she have if she doesn't have the surgery?"

"She has bleeding of the brain. We need to stop it. Without stopping the bleeding, she may only have hours, at best."

Ivar sighed, running his hands through his hair.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Lothbrok. I understand this is a big responsibility I've just set on your shoulders. If you'd like to take a few minutes to discuss this with the others out front, you may. Just know, without the surgery, she will definitely die today. Once she has the surgery, I can't tell you how long she has."

"Wait. What? What do you mean?" Ivar worried.

Looking down at the paperwork before him, he closed the chart abruptly and answered, "Oh umm, I just mean I couldn't give you her life expectancy. As I can't with anyone."

Ivar wasn't sure he believed him but didn't have time to question him. He chose to go talk to the others. How was it even possible he was listed as the one to make these decisions? What the hell had Katia been thinking?

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"I say let the bitch die! You can finally get some relief man!" Hvitserk said to Ivar, laughing a little too hard.

"Hvitserk Lothbrok!" you scolded him, "And what about this baby? She needs her mom."

Hvitserk shrugged his shoulders, "She'd still have women in her life. Mom, Torvi, you, hell, Ivar."

Ivar punched him in the arm, "This is not the time or place for your shit, Hvitserk. That's enough." Hvitserk's smile instantly disappeared.

He looked at Alex and saw the seriousness in his face as Alex pulled him away form the others. "Ivar, you can not be serious in thinking letting her die would be the right choice. Y/N is right. What would the baby do without her mother? I understand you don't want the burden of having to put up with her for the rest of your life if the baby is, in fact, yours and I get the feeling of revenge you must have but, Ivar, this would be wrong."

"Ivy," Ivar responded.

"What?" Alex asked, confused.

"Ivy. That's the baby's name. Ivy."

Alex was shocked. "Wow! Well, I guess that's sweet, no?"

"I only came out here because I honestly wanted to talk to you and see just what you think about all of this. I wanted to be sure I'm not making the wrong choice and just can't see it. And I understand if this is too much for you, Alex. I understand this is way more than what you signed up for." Ivar dropped his head.

Alex's eyes widened, "You understand that it's too much for me if you basically just kill her?"

"What? NO! No way! I mean I understand if it's too much for you that I may now have a daughter," Ivar worried, "I'm going to get a blood test to see, for sure, if she's mine." He looked up and into Alex's eyes. "And that was just Hvitserk talking his regular shit. I know, even he, wouldn't want me to just let her die. I just wanted to know how you feel about me taking on this responsibility and being the one who makes this decision, though. I felt like it's kind of fucked up that of all people, this burden falls in my lap. There was a time when I was so full of anger and revenge that this would have been a dream come true," he felt his cheeks blushing from embarrassment because of his admittance, "But, no, not now. Not like this. I don't even know her anymore, Alex, and it makes no sense to me that I'd be the one who makes such decisions. I don't know if I'm the right person for this. I think maybe it should be left up to the hospital to make such a choice." Ivar ran his hand through his hair, clearly overwhelmed. "So umm, what do you think about it, Alex?"

Alex was taken back. The fact that Ivar had even taken the time to consider his feelings in the midst of all of this was touching, to say the least.

He took a step closer to Ivar and wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him in for a hug. "Well, for what it's worth, I'm glad I misunderstood," he half smiled, "But Ivar, it's really not my place to tell you what is right for you. I'm happy to know you wouldn't chose to deny her the surgery, but if you feel like this is not your decision to make, you should definitely tell that doctor and leave it up to them. Just know, that I'm with you whatever you decide. I'm not bothered by her leaving you responsible for her, no matter how inconsiderate it is of her."

"Typical," Ivar interrupted, rolling his eyes.

"I think it makes since, though, Ivar. Who else does she have? It's not like the baby can speak for her."

Ivar felt a little better about the situation. He hadn't really known what Alex would think about everything. He went back to the doctor.

On the way, he decided he'd deal the hand he'd been dealt. He signed the paperwork for them to do the surgery. The doctor told him it would be several hours. He gave him his contact information so they could contact him with any updates. He knew he wouldn't be waiting around at the hospital. This was not his concern. He needed to go get that blood test done.

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He told the others and they all went to the second floor together. He and the baby both gave their blood sample and she began to cry. Y/N tried comforting her but she cried louder. Alex looked at Ivar and Ivar asked, "What?"

"I understand, Ivar. I seriously do, but," Alex motioned toward the baby, "Look at her. She clearly wants you."

Ivar glanced at her and then back to Alex, "Why? She doesn't even know me."

Alex just shrugged his shoulders. He seriously didn't know the answer himself but he had to admit how cute he thought it was. Well, to himself, at least.

Ivar watched Y/N struggling with the baby, trying her best to calm her as she cried and refused to settle down. Finally, he reached toward her.

She practically jumped from Y/N's arms to Ivar's. While she still cried, her sobs became softer. She laid her head on Ivar's shoulder and sniffled, "Mama."

Instinctively, Ivar placed his hand on her head and patted it, held her tightly, and softly said, "It's ok, Ivy. They're working to make Mama better right now. Don't cry, baby."

You could hear a pin drop in the room. Everyone looked around at eachother and then to Ivar, questioningly. "Ivy? What the fuck, man?" Of course Hvitserk would be the one to speak up.

"Her name is Ivy, Ivy Lothbrok," Ivar grimaced.

"You've got to be shitting me!" Hvitserk growled. "I hope she makes it through surgery. I can't wait to really tell this bitch exactly what I think of her after all these years."

Alex grinned and tried to hide it but Y/N saw and started to laugh, too. Before they knew it, all four of them were laughing, a much needed stress release.

Ivar looked down at Ivy who was calm now and looking him in the eyes. Even she was smiling. Her smile melted his heart and as he realized it, he abruptly stood up with her. He held her out and away from his chest.

All smiles gone from his face, he said, "I-I'm, umm, I can't do this. I can't. I cannot make a bond with this baby until I know for sure if she's mine. I, uh I won't." He held her out like she was infecting him. And he really wasn't sure that she wasn't.

Alex grabbed her and Ivar thanked him with a warm, half smile. She snuggled into Alex's arms without objection. "Well, um, what do we do with her? The surgery will be hours still and then you won't get the results from the test until tomorrow."

Hvitserk looked at the two of them, "I spoke to Mom earlier. Ubbe went to get her. They are on their way. He was fueling up the jet when I had her on the phone. I know she'll gladly help. Y/N and I can take her. We'll keep her until Mom's here." His look softened as he spoke and looked over to Ivar. "I mean, if that's OK with you."

Ivar seemed torn. Alex felt so bad for him. "Umm, yeah. I, uh, yeah. That's great, Hvitserk. Thank you." Then he added, "Please tell Mom not to get her hopes up and to not go making her big plans already. She at least needs to wait for these results we get tomorrow."

"I agree, brother. Don't worry. I'll talk to her."

They went to the cars and moved the carseat to Y/N's car. "Umm, if she cries in the car, I think she'll settle if you give her your hand to hold," Ivar told Y/N. Realizing what he'd done, again, he added, "Well, that's just what I had to do to calm her on the ride here. Just thought it might help you."

"Thank you," Y/N answered, smiling as she took Ivy from Alex's arms. "Don't worry. She'll be fine."

Ivar looked away, blushing. Then he grabbed his wallet from his pocket and said to Hvitserk, "This is for diapers and umm, I don't know, baby food? Baby formula and bottles? Whatever the hell she needs. Here," He shoved money into Hvitserk's hands, "Take this."

Hvitserk hugged Ivar. "Don't worry, man. It's all going to be ok. We'll get through this. I'll let you know when Mom and Ubbe get to your place. You'll be at Alex's, right?" Ivar knodded, answering him. "And don't worry, I'll keep Mom out of your hair tonight so you can get some rest," and he winked at Alex. "You will let him rest, won't you Alex?"

Alex rolled his eyes and dismissed him, "Bye, Hvitserk. Thank you."

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The ride back to Alex's was pretty quiet. Alex didn't push. He knew Ivar had a lot on his mind and he'd speak whenever he felt ready. He could see the wheels turning in Ivar's head so he placed his hand on Ivar's thigh and gently squeezed. It was then that Alex realized how similar Ivar was to the baby. Touch seemed to always calm him down, too. He smiled but didn't say anything.

Finally breaking the silence, Ivar looked over to Alex, running his hand through his hair, "I know. I know. I'm terrible."

"What? No. Why do you say that? No, you're not," Alex complained.

"Well, umm, I don't know. Maybe I should have kept the baby with me?"

"Ivar, I think you did what's best for you right now," Alex tried reassuring him.

"Well, I was just thinking of one thing. I mean, can you imagine how attached I could possibly get in just one night to such a sweet baby girl, thinking she's mine? And then, possibly end up finding out that she's not? It would be way worse than losing Katia ever was," Ivar sighed.

"Well, Ivar, I worry, myself, too. What if you find out she is yours and then Katia uses that against you? What if she only let's you be around her on her conditions or worse, not at all and leaves with her?" To his surprise, Alex felt himself getting angry. "But if we worry about all the 'what ifs,' it'll drive us insane. You just have to take one day at a time." Ivar laid his hand on top of Alex's, still on his leg.

"Well, that's just it. I couldn't very well do anything legally about her leaving me. There's no law to make your ex come back to you." Ivar dropped his head and then continued, "But I can definitely do something legally if she tries to keep my child away from me. I have the right to father my own child. I'm not worried about that. We have the best lawyers." He looked back up at Alex as he parked the car in front of his place. "But she's here for a reason, Alex. You know? Why now? She wants something. And sadly to say, Hvitserk is probably right. It's most likely about money. She's crazier than even I thought if she really believes I'd pay her to leave with my own child."

Alex grabbed his hand and brought it to his mouth and kissed the back of it. "I know it's easier said than done, but try not to worry about all of that until we have some answers." He placed his other hand on the back of Ivar's head and pulled him close, kissing him softly on the lips. "It's been a big day. You need to rest so you're ready for whatever happens tomorrow." Getting out of the car, Alex met Ivar on the other side.

"You're right, and I could really use a hot shower."

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Alex laid in bed as Ivar began the shower. He debated on leaving him alone or joining him. He thought a bit more and looked inside the drawer to his nightstand. After too long questioning himself, he finally undressed and went to the bathroom.

Standing in the bathroom doorway, leaning on the frame, Alex watched Ivar, standing with his eyes closed and letting the water wash over him, assuming he was letting the stress of the day wash off of him. He watched as he washed his hair, running his fingers through his long, thick locks, singing along to the music he had playing. Alex's heart swelled up at the beautiful sound of Ivar's voice. It had been a long time since he'd heard him sing.

That was all he could take. He walked over quietly and pulled the glass door open and stepped in with Ivar. As Ivar opened his eyes to the sound of the door, he jumped seeing Alex standing there. "Do you mind?" Alex asked him, his voice small.

"Of course not, love. Not at all. You just startled me."

"What's that song you were singing? It's beautiful."

"It's a song that makes me think of you, actually. It's kind of old. It's called, 'All My Life,' by K-Ci & JoJo," Ivar smiled. He saw Alex's face light up. "No, don't get any ideas. You know my singing is for the shower only."

"But you have such a beautiful voice," Alex protested.

"Not happening, love. And anyway, I'm sure you didn't get into the shower with me because of my voice," Ivar gestured toward Alex's growing manhood as he winked and grabbed it tightly in his hand.

Alex gulped, "Umm, I thought," Ivar pulled him closer, beginning to tug on him a bit, breathing heavily into his neck. Alex tried collecting his thoughts and began again, "I umm, thought, maybe I could uh, help you umm, relax."

"Oh? Is that what we're calling it now?" Ivar laughed.

Alex turned his head to him and gently kissed him, ever so softly, his hands finding Ivar's already hard cock. Alex began to pump it with one hand as he pulled away from Ivar's lips. He kissed down his jaw and neck to his collarbone as his other hand trailed lightly across his chest. Ivar's head fell backwards as he stood against the shower wall, enjoying all the erotic sensations Alex was awakening inside him.

Alex began giving soft kisses to Ivar's chest as he pulled his body away from Ivar's hand and dropped to his knees in front of Ivar, water from the shower hitting him in the face. Ivar looked down at him and licked his lips.

Alex leaned in and licked from the base of Ivar's long shaft to the tip, causing Ivar to moan. Alex quickly sucked the head into his mouth and swirled his tongue around it. Ivar felt chills travel throughout his body. Damn, Alex was an expert at this!

Alex slowly took as much of Ivar into his mouth as he could, continuing to stare up into Ivar's eyes, as his hands reached around and grabbed both of his ass cheeks and squeezed. Ivar's back arched involuntarily as Alex began to suck him, bobbing his head up and down, swirling his tongue over his length.

Ivar's hands went to the top and back of Alex's head and he gently pushed Alex's head forward, deepening himself into his mouth. "Oh fuck, that feels so good," Ivar groaned out as he thrusted even further, causing Alex to gag and pull away, his eyes watering. "Shit! I'm sorry, Love! It's just, damn, you're good at that. I want you so badly now."

"Take me, then," Alex said to Ivar's surprise, his lips grazing the tip of Ivar as he did.

Ivar grinned his famously devilish grin, "Well, we both know that would take too much time. The tablets are in your room and it's ok. I mean, I do enjoy your mouth," he smiled widely.

Alex pulled away from him and sheepishly said, "Umm, well, about that."

Looking down at him quizzically, Ivar asked, "What about it?"

"Well," Alex's face blushing as he spoke, "I may or may not have already taken them before I came in here. I know it was a bit presumptuous of me with the damn day you've had, but I was really hopeful." He winked up at Ivar.

"Fantastic!" Ivar's cock twitched in Alex's face. "Can we do it right here?"

"Fuck yeah!" Alex said as he stood up, facing Ivar again.

Ivar grabbed him forcefully and his mouth crashed into his, tongues intertwining, hands roaming, everywhere at once.

In a heartbeat, things grew many degrees hotter and Ivar flipped Alex around, slamming him into the other shower wall, pressing his chest against Alex's back. "Is this ok?" Ivar asked, his hot breath landing on Alex's neck. Licking down the side of it and then biting Alex's shoulder, he continued, "We've never done it like this before."

"More than ok," Alex grunted out.

He pushed his ass out so Ivar could gain easier access and Ivar smacked it, causing Alex to moan appreciatively. Ivar did it a few more times as his other hand reached around and found Alex's erection waiting for him. He grabbed it tightly in his hand and began to pump it up and down as he kissed and sucked on Alex's neck and shoulder. Alex was sure he would leave a mark but he didn't even care.

Ivar leaned in and gave Alex a quick kiss on his cheek and then said, "Open your mouth, love."

Alex gave him a confused look over his shoulder but did as requested. Ivar put his fingers in Alex's mouth, "Now, wet my fingers like you did my dick." Alex's heartrate sped up at Ivar's words and he did what he asked. "Damn that mouth of yours! Absolutely lovely! Now, spit in my hand." Alex's heart skipped a beat in anticipation.

Ivar took his wet hand from Alex's mouth and put it around his dick and smeared the spit on. He added to it with his own saliva and rubbed around Alex's tight entrance, causing him to make unrecognizable sounds. "You ready for me? This may hurt a little."

"I'm ready," Alex panted.

Ivar pushed Alex's back down, causing him to bend over some, ass out and readily available, placing his hand on the shower wall in front of him. Ivar lined up with Alex's entrance and he slowly pushed himself into Alex bit by bit. "Are you ok?" He asked Alex as he gulped at the feeling of Ivar's size.

"Umm humm. More," Alex's voice was shaky.

Ivar pushed the rest of his way into Alex, feeling Alex's walls squeezing and fluttering around him, until he bottomed out. He stood still for a moment for them both to adjust, feeling the heat spread throughout his body.

Alex's breathing caught as he tried to speak. Ivar asked, "Are you still ok?"

Alex moaned, "Ye..yes."

Ivar slowly began to move his hips back and forth, dragging himself almost all the way out of Alex before gently pushing back in, heat rising within.

Alex began panting loudly and moaned out Ivar's name. "Oh bloody hell! Give it to me already! This is torture! Fuck me, Ivar!"

Ivar's eyes widened at Alex's words, thoroughly shocked. As his devilish grin creeped back over his face, he slapped Alex's ass again and said, "As you wish!"

Pulling back some, he then thrusted into Alex as his eyes rolled into the back of his head. Alex didn't have time to catch his breath before Ivar did it again. Quickly, his movements became faster and harder, fucking deep into Alex as if his life depended on it.

Alex held onto the wall and told Ivar, "I, umm," he tried catching his breath, "I need to stand up. Is that ok?"

"Umm-humm," Ivar groaned. He released his tight grip from Alex's hips and let him stand. He placed his hand over Alex's, on the wall, and intertwined his fingers. Pressing his chest against Alex's back, he nibbled on his ear and asked, "You OK, love?"

As Alex answered, breathlessly, "Yes!" Ivar rolled his hips into him again causing Alex's breath to hitch. This new angle hit a different spot inside him and his walls tightened even more around Ivar to Ivar's delight. With Alex's head smashed against the shower wall, Ivar leaned in and breathed his hot breath onto Alex's cheek before he placed his wet lips on it and gave him a soft kiss. Alex sighed at the feeling.

Soon, Ivar found his rhythm and began thrusting into Alex, fucking away his day, his stress, his worries, grabbing him tightly by the hips again. He grunted loudly, in an animalistic roar, with every roll of his hips.

Alex was so hot, he felt as if he was melting into the wall. With both of his hands slapped hardly against the wall, he pushed his pelvis back from it a bit to meet Ivar's. With Ivar's every pound into him, Alex met him, skin slapping on skin. "Oh, hell!" Ivar groaned out, in a raspy voice. They continued like that, in this heated moment, hearts pounding, breaths panting, until Ivar spoke with his burning desire, "I need to see you. I need to look into your eyes, Love."

His heart skipping a beat at Ivar's admission and trying to catch his breath to speak, Alex answered, "Sh-should we go to my room?"

Ivar quickly pulled out of Alex and turned him around, slamming him against the wall. Alex's eyes widened as Ivar bent down and weaved both his arms behind Alex's legs, locking his elbows at the back of Alex's knees. As he straightened and stood, he pulled Alex up the wall, suspended in Ivar's arms. "Is this ok?"

"Hell yeah it is!" Alex gasped, his heart pounding. This type of display of strength by Ivar got him every time. His arms instantly wrapped around Ivar's neck.

Alex reached between them and grabbed Ivar's throbing cock and helped line him up with himself again. Ivar slowly lowered Alex onto himself, with his head falling forward against Alex's chest. "Damn," he moaned, "I won't last much longer like this."

Alex wrapped his legs tightly around Ivar's hips, dropping his head to the crook of Ivar's neck and beginning to nibble. Ivar's arms engulfed Alex as be began slowly thrusting his hips up into him. This closeness was divine.

This position was a little tricky but it felt so good to them both. Alex brought his head back up and Ivar's mouth quickly consumed his, kissing him feverishly. Soon, they were pulling away, both gasping for air.

With increasing burning desire, Alex reached between them and grabbed himself and began stroking furiously, staring deeply into Ivar's eyes. Ivar stared back, desperately wanting to see his face when he finally came.

Their gaze was so intense that Alex's muscles tightened even more around Ivar again as his heart skipped a beat. Ivar's pace quickened as his legs began to tremble beneath him and Alex's toes curled. As he hungrily pumped up into Alex harder each time, Alex's eyes rolled into the back of his head. His face contorted and his body stiffened and he shot his load there between them.

As Alex's walls twitched and fluttered tightly around Ivar, Ivar continued thrusting, enjoying the faces Alex was making as he rode out his high. Quickly, he reached his end as well and as Alex grabbed a handful of his hair and yanked him closer into a mind blowing kiss, Ivar filled him with his hot streams of cum.

Ivar's head fell onto Alex's shoulder as he tried to catch his breath. "Damn, th-that was so fucking hot, love," he mumbled into Alex's neck, sending shivers all over Alex's body.

"Yes, it was!" Alex panted.

Finally pulling out of Alex and sitting him back down, Ivar smiled, "Works out perfectly that we're already in the shower. Come here and let me clean you up."

"I love you," Alex answered him, his heart swelling with emotion, "Sometimes I can't believe this life with you is real."

Ivar looked back at Alex and smiled, "And I," he leaned back and kissed Alex again, "Love you, too."

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Ivar crawled into the bed beside Alex and Alex reached out to him, seeing the worried look back on his face. "Come here," Alex patted to his chest, "And stop your worrying. It's all going to work itself out, Ivar."

Ivar hesitated for a moment but then curled up to Alex, placing his head on Alex's chest. Alex began running his fingers through Ivar's hair as his other arm wrapped around him tightly. "All of that in the shower was supposed to relax you, ya know?" He kissed Ivar on the top of the head.

"I know. It's just that, well, it's just so much, Alex."

"Just breathe. Whatever happens, you know we'll be there for you. Together, you and I can do anything." Ivar smiled and leaned up to kiss Alex. "Now, sleep. You need your rest."

It wasn't long before Ivar was sound asleep in Alex's arms. Sleep, however, didn't come quite as quickly for Alex. He'd been trying to calm Ivar but the truth was, he was worried sick. He knew how scheming Katia was and the thoughts of things she'd probably try to pull made him feel nauseous.

He pushed it all out of his mind as best he could, trying to take a piece of his own advice, and eventually fell asleep, too.

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Ivar slowly stirred awake and reached for Alex. It was then that he realized Alex had rolled away and over onto his stomach. Strangely, he felt some sort of rejection. He knew that was definitely not what it meant, but he just felt so uncertain of himself.

Looking at the clock, he realized it was still late in the night. It wasn't quite time to get up yet, but he needed a glass of water. Beginning to feel hurt as he looked at Alex's bare back facing away from him, he slipped out of bed and walked to the kitchen for the water and to clear his head.

Ivar realized he was being ridiculous after a few minutes in the kitchen. He returned to the bedroom to find Alex sitting up on the side of the bed, back facing him, one hand resting to his side, on the bed and the other with his face planted in it.

Alex didn't appear to hear Ivar enter the room as Ivar said his name softly, "Alex? Love, are you ok?"

Alex flipped his head around to Ivar, clearly surprised to see him there. "Everything ok?" Ivar went to him and sat down beside him on the bed,wrapping his arm around Alex's shoulders.

Alex had the look of worry across his face. "I, umm, I thought you'd left."

Ivar gently grabbed him on each side of his face. "Why on Earth would I leave in the middle of the night? I just went to get some water."

Alex shook his head. He knew he was being ridiculous. "I, umm, I don't know. I'm not sure what I was thinking. I had a horrible dream and when I woke up and you weren't here, I just automatically thought you'd left me," he gulped.

Ivar gently kissed him and then said, "I think we're both letting everything get to us. We need to stop being so paranoid." Ivar told him how he'd felt when he saw him laying away from him. They both laughed it off. "But promise me, whatever happens tomorrow and from here on out, we don't let Katia get into our heads. Look, she's not even here or even conscious right now and look how she's gotten between us. I love you, Alex. Only you. And no matter what happens, that's not going to change. Promise me you'll remember that, ok?"

"I can say the same to you," Alex began. "You're my world, Ivar. And no matter what the results are, no matter what happens or may change, my love for you will not." They kissed again, "Let's go back to sleep while we still can."

The two of them were wrapped around eachother again and quickly back off to sleep.

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Morning came all too quickly for the two of them. Alex had woken up later than he had in quite some time and while Ivar had enjoyed every moment of it, Alex was now rushing around so he wouldn't be late for his exam at school.

Alex apologized profusely to Ivar for having to go to class for his test instead of being with him when he would finally learn the verdict. He'd even offered to skip the test and just do a make up but Ivar refused to let him do that. "There's no way I'll let you lose points on your test and mess up your perfect grade in the class just for me. I won't be alone and I'll let you know what happens. Go and concentrate on the test, not on my drama," Ivar said, lovenly.

So it was decided and Ivar drove him to school and dropped him off, promising to inform him as soon as he learned anything about Katia and about the blood test. "Good luck, love!" Ivar kissed Alex as he got out of the car.

Ivar ran his hand nervously down his face, breathing out a sigh, and headed toward his home to see who was going with him to the hospital.

At home, he was greeted by Aslaug, who hugged him tightly when she saw his worried face. "Stop worrying, dear. We're family. We were made for these things. Whatever happens, you know we've got your back. We'll get through this together."

"Mom, I'm so sorry that..."

"Don't you apologize. I understand, dear. You were just protecting yourself and rightly so," she hugged him again.

He hadn't realized just how much he'd needed his mom as she held him protectively. As he felt the tears begin to form, he pulled away before one escaped his eyes.

They decided Hvitserk would go with with Ivar to the hospital and the ladies would stay behind with Ivy.

You asked him before he left, "Do you want to see her, Ivar? She's still sleeping and your mom and I were just talking about how absolutely adorable she is."

Ivar felt his heart warm and was about to say yes but then he thought for a moment. He knew he needed to keep his boundaries until he knew for sure if she was his. "Umm, no. I think, umm, well," he stumbled over his words.

"It's ok. I understand, Ivar. I should have thought before I even asked. Just go and don't worry about us here. We'll be fine," you said, wishing you'd just kept your mouth shut.

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"Mr. Lothbrok?" a doctor asked, looking around the waiting room. "Ivar Lothbrok?"

Ivar quickly stood and the doctor approached him. "She's out of recovery and in a room now. Surgery went well and she's awake. She's asking for her daughter. Is her daughter with you?"

"Umm, no. She's with my mother. Can I see Katia?" Ivar began to feel burning in the pit of his stomach at having to talk to her, but he knew he had to.

"This way, please, sir."

Ivar looked back at Hvitserk, signaling he'd be right back, but Hvitserk jumped to his feet and was quickly at Ivar's side. "No, you're not doing this alone," Hvitserk said as he grabbed Ivar's shoulder and squeezed. "In the hospital or not, I don't trust the bitch!" Hvitserk gave an unapologetic smile and Ivar grinned.

When they entered the room, Ivar instantly noticed how pale and weak Katia appeared. "Ivar! Hey!" She said softly. "Do you have my Ivy with you?"

"Umm, no. She's with mom," Ivar's voice was cold and Hvitserk felt proud of his baby brother.

Glancing over to Hvitserk, who didn't so much as crack a smile at her, and then back to Ivar, she began, "Ivar, babe," Hvitserk scoffed and Ivar tried to hide his snarl, unsuccessfully, "I am so sorry I left you like I did. I never meant to hurt you but, please, you must.."

Ivar cut her off, "Katia, I'm not here to discuss the past. What's done is done. Too little, too late, ya know? I don't want to hear your excuses now, after all this time. I'm only here because I want to know if Ivy is truly my daughter," Ivar said to her, flatly, concentrating on keeping his voice even. He didn't want her to misunderstand his nerves as anything to do with her.

"Yes, Ivar, she's your daughter. Why else would I have came back to you?" She said to him, her eyes pleading.

It was then, looking into her eyes, that Ivar remembered all the times she had convinced him of practically anything by staring at him like this. The difference, now, was that he was no longer in love with her and she couldn't manipulate him. This look across her face served no purpose and had no effect on him except for pissing him off further.

"Let's get one thing clear right off the bat, Katia. You didn't come back to me. You came back to the town I still live in. There's a difference. And I'm not single anymore either," his jaw was clinched. "If she's mine, how could you have left knowing you'd have her without me there, knowing I wouldn't be in her life? Do you have any idea how cruel that is? You would have had to have been pregnant before you left. How could you do such a thing?" Ivar was very matter of fact with her, trying not to show the level of anger he was feeling.

Hvitserk smiled at the strength Ivar displayed. He couldn't prevent the visions of Ivar flashing through his mind and how devastated he'd been after everything Katia had done to him. He struggled not to show his distain for her. Seeing him now, like this with her, made him extremely happy and proud. Alex being in his life now had really made such a difference. He'd thought Ivar would never be in another serious relationship. He was relieved that he'd been wrong.

Katia's voice interrupted Hvitserk's train of thought, "No, Ivar, it, umm, it wasn't like that. I didn't know I was pregnant until I was already in Russia. I debated on coming back when I found out but I knew how upset you must have been and I," she looked away, "I couldn't face you. I'm truly sorry, Ivar. But we're here now and umm, I'd really like for you to be a part of Ivy's life, if umm, if that's what you want."

Before he could even catch himself, Hvitserk blurted out, "I think what you meant to say is you couldn't face him because you were too scared because you knew you owe my brother the ton of fucking money that you stole when you left!" He gasped as he covered his mouth, shocked, himself, that he'd said exactly what he thought. He looked to Ivar, apologetically, but Ivar was completely unaffected by his words.

Trying to contain his annoyance, Ivar answered her, "We can discuss if I'll be in Ivy's life or not once I get the results from the blood test. I have no desire to discuss anything about her with you until I know with a certainty if shes mine or not." He stared into her eyes coldly. She was taken back at the Ivar who stood in front of her now. He was different. She didn't recognize him anymore.

"She's your's, Ivar. I gave your mother a copy of the blood test. Didn't she show you?"

"I'm not stupid. I know it's not real. I wasn't even present for it. You can stop with your games now," Ivar sighed.

"Ivar, please. You have to believe me. I still love you and I'm so sorry. If you just give me a chance, I know we can work things out and make things like they were before. There can be an us again. Just give me.."

Ivar cut her off, "Things will never be like they were before. There will never be an us again. As I said, I'm no longer single and I'm happy. You can't possibly love me. You never did to begin with. So just stop your bullshit. I'm not buying it."

Hvitserk looked at Ivar in complete shock. He'd definitely not expected anything like that from him and by the look across Katia's face, she hadn't either.

Ivar motioned to Hvitserk and was about to leave when a doctor came in to check on Katia. He told her she'd dodged a great bullet and that he was happy to see her in such good shape considering everything she would still have to endure in the near future. Her face contorted at the doctor in a way that he knew she didn't want him to continue speaking in front of her present company and Ivar did not miss it.

The doctor turned his focus to Ivar. "Mr. Lothbrok, I presume?" Ivar nodded. "They called from the lab a bit earlier. Your test results should be in within the next hour or so."

"Great. Thank you. We'll be in the waiting room." Ivar patted Hvitserk on the shoulder and the two walked toward the door. Katia said Ivar's name as he reached the door and Hvitserk began to turn around. Ivar shook his head and urged him out the door.

Once in the hallway, Hvitserk looked at Ivar quizzically. "I'm done talking with her. Her manipulation is exhausting."

Hvitserk placed his hand on Ivar's shoulder, "Welcome to reality, my dear brother. It's about time you saw her for what she really is."

"I'm just concerned about how it's going to work if this baby does end up being mine. I have a feeling she's going to make it difficult every step of the way. And damn, what about Alex?" Ivar rubbed his hand over his face and sighed.

"Brother," Hvitserk reassured him, "Alex loves you. You know that. He'll be there for you no matter what."

Ivar smiled, and they took a seat to wait.

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As a nurse approached saying his name, Ivar realized he'd dozed off to sleep. He looked at his watch, wondering how long they'd been waiting. "Mr. Lothbrok?" the nurse asked as she stepped even closer.

"Yes?" Ivar answered as he stood.

"It seems that the lab needs you. They've just called from downstairs."

"They finally have the results?" Ivar asked, hopefully.

"Sir, they didn't tell me anything. They just requested that you come."

"I understand. Thank you." Thumping Hvitserk in the head, he told him, "Hey, results are in. Let's go!"

When they entered the lab, they were greeted by a lab tech who looked notably nervous. "I'm Ivar Lothbrok. I was told you have my blood test results."

"Umm, about that," the young tech answered him, "Umm, we have a slight.."

The lab tech was interrupted by a man behind him who pushed him out of the way so he'd be face to face with Ivar. "What the fuck do you think you're doing? Who the fuck do you think you are? Ivy is MY daughter! I've been the one who has been with her and raised her for this last year. Where the fuck have you been? Humm? Some father you are! How dare you! She's mine!"

Ivar was stunned. Had Katia really fooled him again? He realied, now, that he'd honestly felt deep down inside like it was true, like Ivy was his. He now understood that he was secretly hoping she was. He felt a piece of his heart crumble and he was instantly filled with rage.

"I suggest you back the fuck up out of my face if you plan on walking out of here the way you walked in here," Ivar said to him in an extremely calm but threatening voice through his teeth and clinched jaw. The man looked startled and noticed how Ivar's and Hvitserk's fists were both balled up. Instinctively, he took a step backwards. "Now, why the hell would Katia be telling me that Ivy is mine if she's been living with you for the last year? You better make this make sense and I mean, right now."

The lab tech started to walk away and Ivar looked to him, "Do you have my results, sir? That will settle this argument right here and now."

The young tech studdered out, "Umm, sir, uh, Mr. Lothbrok? They umm, we.. umm, we don't have your results yet. Shall we also get blood from the other gentleman?"

"Yes!" Ivar answered simultaneously with the other guy who answered no.

Ivar looked to the man as his stare hardened. The guy answered, "I mean, umm, she's my daughter. I already know that and I'm not paying this place to take blood from me for something I already know."

Ivar grabbed his wallet from his back pocket. "Fine! I'll pay for it. You say you know, but I want proof." He handed the tech his card and he took it from him, hands shaking.

The man started to protest but Hvitserk stepped forward, giving him a snarl. "I think what you want to say here is, 'OK, Mr. Lothbrok, thank you,' to be exact."

The man noticed there was no room for discussion and he finally agreed. "Fine, but I want to see my girl. Katia just disappeared with her and I haven't seen my baby for weeks."

Ivar couldn't help but feel saddened for the man, knowing this feeling but only imagining how much worse it must be with a child involved. It pissed him off that he already seemed to have a soft spot for Ivy, but he knew if this guy was really her father, he couldn't do that to her. She was innocent. It just wasn't right, no matter how much he wanted to punch him in the face.

While he was giving blood, Hvitserk and Ivar talked. To Ivar's surprise, Hvitserk agreed with him. They decided that they'd let this man meet up with them and Ivy and see how she reacted to him. Ivar felt something very off about this guy and there was no way he'd let her go with him until he saw the proof. However, he couldn't help but sympathize with him to some degree.

They explained to the man, who had finally told them his name was Herald, about their offer and he'd accepted. They planned to meet in town with Ivy.

The lab tech told them he'd rush the tests and they'd hopefully hear from him by the evening.

On the way to pick up Ivy, Ivar told Hvitserk, "I don't know. I have a bad feeling about this guy."

"Hell, so do I but you're the one who wants to give him a chance. Why exactly is that, Ivar?"

"All I could think about was what if he really is Ivy's father. I can't keep him away. That's not fair to Ivy," Ivar dropped his head. "I-I umm, I can't do that to her. And plus, I want to see how they interact. I don't trust him."

"Well, I'm telling Ubbe to go, too. He can just be there to observe unless we need him."

"Ok," Ivar answered, shrugging his shoulders.

"Who the hell are you today and what did you do with my little brother? You never agree with me so easily."

"Well, you usually never make any sense."

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Posting 2nd half now

@istorkyou @chapada010101010 @vero-maris-zamo @lostasalice-thisway @ivarhoegh @lonewolf471 @covidinducedsocialreject @tessakate

[cloudsandcrescents]

What’s your publishing schedule looking like?

That’s a great question. I have no clue (kidding but also not?)

Kidding…not kidding lol…send help pls. But seriously.

Rough Schedule (As it Stands)

I’m currently working on a follow up to Relinquish that sort of fell by the wayside. That is nearly done (75-80%) and it will be up before the end of week (ideally today or tomorrow). This will just be added as a second chapter to the original.

Leather Black I’m actually planning to post more frequently on because that’s meant to be a short series similar to how I did Empty Rooms. I’m planning to resume updates for that this week/weekend with weekly updates but will ideally be more like every 2-3 days depending on my schedule. I really like this one so I’m eager to update for it but I think I just started tackling it at a time where there was a lot going on in my personal life that messed up my schedule quite a bit.

After Hours is reaching its end with maybe another 2-3 chapters (the last likely being an epilogue) so I’m trying to wrap it up by getting back to (at minimum) a biweekly update schedule. Max I’m giving myself to finish is through end of January since that’s around when I first started it. Should have an update to this by the end of next week.

Similar to After Hours, I intend to wrap up Promise Me very soon as well with, likely, another 2-3 chapters. The alternating updates really worked well for me as I would just toggle between which one was the previously updated fic. (Unrelated) Promise Me I’ve actually been debating on because I already set the layout for a sequel in my head. I was thinking about whether I wanted to just keep it going or create a separate fic for it and right now I feel like the latter so we’re surprisingly wrapping that up soon. Should have an update on this in about two weeks if not sooner.

I want to lighten the load before I tackle anything further so I think this is the point where I kind of stop the addition of any new fics until I get a better handle on my current WIP. That said, I most likely won’t be updating Hour of Need or When We Serve until I finish After Hours and Promise Me. Encore is there as well though I’m feeling a little iffy on whether or not I want to come back to that but we’ll see. HoN and WWS will likely follow the pattern of alternating biweekly or even weekly updates between the two once After Hours and Promise Me are done. We’re going to give these a hopeful return in early February but may come sooner.

I’ve gotten several Tumblr requests in my asks that I do see and will definitely get too. I have a tendency to overload myself and I’m very susceptible to burnout so those are just a little behind but I’m hoping to add a few into my update schedule resuming in Mid-Jan/Early-Feb if not sooner once I wrap up Leather Black and my other two bigger fics.

As always, thank you everyone for being so patient with me. I hope that I’m fortunate enough where I can eventually just write for a living and just play with words all day. Until then, I most resume my normal day to day life which isn’t nearly as exciting but keeps me equally busy. I write most of my fics on my phone but also try to sit at my computer to write which tends to motivate me more. Unfortunately, my computer has been inoperable for a few months now as I’ll likely need to replace the CPU I’m pretty sure I broke lol. It’s had to take a backseat to a few other things but I’m planning to get a replacement in mid January and hopefully that’ll help with a lot with my productivity.

I hope this provides anyone looking for their particular favorite of my works, a bit of relief knowing that updates are coming soon. Thank you all for being the best part of getting to do this, truly. 🩵