#hopefully will get to the next update quicker!

[contact-guy]

THE FINAL PROBLEM - part 2 of many - part 1 here. All this dialogue is from the original story, except for Holmes's thoughts at the end.

This is in the Watson's Sketchbook series!

[obsob]

there he is......the man of the house

[themarshmallownerd]

New Chapter: The End and the Beginning

Link: Chapter 3

Previous: Chapter 2

First: Chapter 1 (AO3)

A/N: So, don't be mad…. This became a lot. Like a lot, a lot. And so, to make it more digestible, I've decided to prolong the finale to an additional chapter. But fret not! We will still see the resolution to Nat and Lottie's side of the story soon enough!

Preview: "She started the new project tentatively at first. She told herself she was only going to start it, not doing anything more than simply carving the mold that would hold the light.

However, as had become a pattern in all of her projects, she quickly became absorbed by her process.

She hardly thought about what she was doing as she proceeded to melt a batch of iron, grinding it in with vapors she had collected earlier. On a whim, she also added the additional stardust she had spilled when she hurt her hand, even though it had started to gel into a thick, honey-like substance. To her pleasant surprise, the mixture of fresh stardust with an older batch did manage to give the project a more solid structure than the last few creations.

Nevertheless, it was still missing something. Something to make it glow, as lights were meant to do. At the moment, the light emanating from her creation was barely brighter than a meager ember smoldering at the bottom of a fire pit.

What else could she use?

The half-blood reached for the hilt of one of her carving knives again just to have something to busy her hands with as she contemplated other materials to add. She tried to think of what she hadn’t tried before, something that would be unique to this project alone. Something that could effectively parallel how close she carried her friendship with Jackie to her heart. 

The only thing she carried closer was her heart, itself. And she very well couldn’t cut that out.

Although…

Shauna glanced down as her fingers continued to absentmindedly trace the sharp edge of the blade on her hand. Her touch became a little slower, a little more deliberate as her thoughts wandered to stories she’d heard as a child of other half-blooded mortals like her. How the godly half of their lineage not only shielded them from typical childhood scrapes and bruises, but also had the capacity to spare them from suffering amidst truly egregious wounds.

She hadn’t understood what that had meant when she was younger. Now, though, it gave her an idea. The possibility of a sacrifice to her craft. Something that could be truly unique to this project alone.

Her fingers slid down to the hilt of the carving knife, the skin turning white under the strength of her sudden determination. With a twist of her wrist, she was able to point the tip of the blade towards herself.

She closed her eyes for the next part. She wasn’t squeamish by any means, but she wasn’t entirely confident in her abilities for this either. Which meant she had to leave it up to blind trust in her god-gifted instincts to guide her hand.

She inhaled deeply. Then she gave her wrist a sharp jerk forward.

The blade pierced straight into her chest. Shauna groaned as she felt it slice through her, yet kept her eyes firmly sealed. She felt around the edges of the knife with just her mind’s eye. Honed in on the sensations in her chest there; the interrupted blood vessels, the torn muscles, the ache of pain meant to alert her to the intrusion.

She pictured those feelings being shoved down, stored out of sight and mind as she mentally called something else forward. Something calming, something that kept her very being warm. She pictured that swarming the blade instead of blood or muscle, clinging to the edges of the knife as she pulled it out of her chest. It left her body with little resistance, leaving her with a vague bite of cold where the knife had once been.

She finally chanced a look down at what she had done when she felt something foreign dribbling out of the wound in her chest. However, it wasn’t blood. It was too bright to be that. It practically glowed amidst the darkness of the underground workshop, casting a pale yellow light over its surroundings. The substance was thinner, too, not quite congealing the way blood does. The most it could be likened to something else was the wax that drips down the side of a candle that’s been burning for too long.

“Shit!” the half-blood cursed through her teeth as it started to feel like burning wax dripping down her skin. She hastily dropped her carving knife on the nearest table, scrambling to free her hands so she could paw at the opening in her chest, to stem the flow of…whatever this was. Her life’s essence? Her soul?

Whatever it was, it was now cupped carefully within the palms of her hands. She carried it to the current mixture she was working on, spilling it into the mortar. Then she ground it all together with the accompanying pestle, creating one conglomerate mix once again.

To her satisfaction, the glow from her latest addition held steady, making the entire concoction brighter.

With a renewed, delighted vigor, Shauna swiftly brought her mortar back across the length of the forge. She made short work of pouring it into the cauldron hanging over the main fire, then stepped back to observe as the brew she had made started to bubble inside. After a few heartbeats, it started to expand inside the cauldron, glowing brighter as it swelled into an even bigger shape. Eventually, it even started to rival the fire below.

Shauna laughed at the sight, semi-hysterical.

She had done it. She had a creation."

[wandaspup]

Sinners Part Two

Summary: In a small town, you try living up to your mother’s expectations while encountering Wanda Maximoff, a mysterious woman and a childhood friend of your mothers. It leaves you questioning her intentions and your beliefs.

Parings: Wanda x Fem R

Warnings: None besides Wanda testing the waters with you (will be added as I update! ♥️ Happy reading)

Author notes: You are 19 years old while Wanda is 36. Story will be updated every two weeks! Two more chapters left (: Thank you everyone for reading this.

Please read the first chapter if you come across this one first for new readers!

Wanda’s Masterlist

You sauntered downstairs, the clacks of pans getting louder as you descend further into the kitchen. Your mother focused on getting the food on the table. She pointed towards the counter. “Set the silverware and make sure they’re properly placed this time.” 

Today Wanda was coming over. After you got home from Church, she was all you can think about from yesterday. You can still remember the way her expressions shifted when she looked at you, as those eyes followed you around before or so you kept thinking. Even when you sleep, you can still feel her presence lingering in the corner of your room. You know she isn’t there, but glimpses of her face in your dreams felt so real. 

The first time you dream about her, the encounter of déjà vu washes over you. Maybe you were going insane and thinking of another woman around town. 

You placed the silverware carefully, aligning each one just as your mother taught you. Hopefully she won’t throw a tantrum over a spoon placed an inch to the left. She seemed too focused on what she was doing and you’ve never seen your mother this tense or excited. She never mentioned Wanda, but she never mentioned anything about her life back then. She told you It’s a waste of time to babble on about such things. 

The doorbell echoes and you pause, momentarily staring at the silverware in your hand before carefully placing them aside and making your way to the front. You breathe in and out one last time for a good measure and gripped the handle and twisted. The door swings open, your eyes widen in surprise, and it takes you a moment to register Wanda standing before you. She wears a flaxen dress, its fabric rippling in the light breeze and delicately skimming against the sides of her thighs. Her dress reached halfway, giving you a good glimpse at her sun-kissed legs, glistening. A yellow flower nestled in her hair on the left side. She beams and snaps her fingers.

You mentally berated yourself and offered a swift apology. 

Wanda chuckled, her laughter , crossing her arms in front of her. Her smirk widened, and she glanced past you, nodding towards the entrance. “Well, darling, are you planning to keep me waiting out here all day?”

As you stepped aside, she gave you that look, the exact same one back outside the church and suddenly your heart pounded quicker. An aromatic honey apple scent overwhelmed as she passed, your head suddenly heavy as you closed the door and led her to the kitchen. Food was set evenly in the middle of the table, your father already took a seat with your mother. 

“Wonderful to see you again my dear friend.” She gestured at the seat across, and you noticed the only chair left was right next to her’s. Debating on moving it to the other side of the table, you figured your mother would scold you for being rude.

“Well I appreciate you having me over. It’s been awhile since we last saw each other.” 

From there It was nothing but short stories and awkward laughters between all of them. You kept your eyes on your plate, shuffling your food inside your mouth praying this dinner will end soon and you can lock yourself in your room. Once in a while, you’d sneak a glance whenever you heard Wanda speak or laugh at something your father said. Unbeknownst, Wanda knew your cute tactics of being sneaky without batting an eyelash. You’d do it again when she took a sip of wine, her lipstick staining the glass. 

Wanda’s chair screeched unexpectedly, apologizing when her fork slipped out of her hand and clattered to the ground. When she reached for it, she used your thigh for support, her perfectly manicured fingers wrapped around with a light grasp, sending a shiver down your spine. "I think I need a new fork," she all but said, her hands still resting in the same place. "Apologies, darlin', hope you didn't mind me using you." Wanda grinned and motioned her hand back and forth before pulling away, leaving a lingering warmth on your thigh.

The weight of her hand was missed for some odd reason you were unable to comprehend. Usually, the gentle pats from an elderly woman at the bread store were just a friendly gesture, never thinking much of it. However, her touch stirred an entirely different sensation. 

One you were sure you’d be praying on your knees begging god forgiveness. You continued to eat, pretending everything was normal and Wanda was only an old friend of your mom’s coming to visit. Wanda went on to answer a few questions asked by your father, while you listened, waiting for Wanda to make her move on you. She seemed to always catch you by surprise. 

“No husband and no kids. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to have kids.”

“Surely the right man will come along in time hon. You’re a gorgeous woman and anyone would be lucky to have you.”

You rolled your eyes, glancing down at your plate. Wanda shrugged, tugging at her bottom lip before taking another bite. “Maybe, but I think I’ll manage just fine without one,” she said, lifting her glass for a sip and then turning her attention to you. 'What about you? Anyone catching your eye?

The question caught you by surprise but you responded casually, figuring she was trying to get to know you better. “No one at the moment, just focused on getting through college applications, ma’am.” You cleared your throat the second you finished, the last few words getting stuck. From the ugly expression your own mother gave you across the table, she scowled you for not speaking properly. 

Wanda squeezed your arm reassuringly, always ready to come to your rescue. “Oh, she's perfectly fine.” She winked and settled in for a few more bites from her own plate. “I do hope to see you all around town. I figured I’d be delighted to extend my stay.”

Your father nodded and gulped the little bit of wine he had left. “Well, Wanda, you're always welcome here. Perhaps you’d be able to help our daughter with her applications. We never have the time to assist her.

"I can manage just fine, father," you said confidently

Your mother cleared her throat and dabbed her mouth, nodding in agreement. "I don’t want you getting into some party college and wasting your life. God has a plan for you, and you'd better stick to it, girl. Wanda, what do you think?"

Wanda's nose scrunched up, her lips stretched, and a small twinkle settled in her green eyes. You pondered what thoughts were swirling in her head as she agreed. Despite the knot twisting a thousand times over, it seemed clear God did not intend for Wanda swooping in and destroying his plan.  

As you grappled with making sense of your emotions, the sensations from Wanda’s touch made you forget how to use your head. It wasn’t love but rather a twisted plan Wanda woven you into. 

“I should be going.” She scooched out as she stood up, extending her hand. She gazed over towards you. “Be a dear and walk me out.” 

With a brisk nod, you got up and waited for Wanda to gather herself before following her closely behind. You can hear your heart thumping, afraid she might even hear it. As soon as the front door opened, she turned around quicker than you could comprehend the situation. Her eyes floated down your body and back up to your face. “Sure do look beautiful honey.”

When you didn’t reply she grasped your chin between her fingers, one eyebrow raised. “What do we say when someone gives you a compliment?”

“Th—nk you ma’am.”

She hummed pleased. “I’ll be seeing you.”

TAGLIST:

Taglist is closed so the ones on the list will be added for the rest of the chapters until I figure out another way to do a taglist. I was thinking of the google survey thing I saw someone was doing.

if you didn't tag in this for some reason, I either typed in your user and tumblr couldn't find your account . (:

@ifthisaintmee @the-lakes89 @aru-son

@maximoff-jp @unicorniusfallapatorius @random-fag @natashaswife4125 @wndasdoll

@thursdayygrrrl @falloutboy-lover @obsessedwjill @ksandraxox @scarletnatsblog

@bbbyliv0202 @peyt-n @wandaswife13 @criticsstuff @kimlipimsingle @sam-h-69

@rowiebear @thalia-is-not-ok @immclovinmilfs

[seraphinitegames]

The Wayhaven Chronicles—Update 04/Oct/2024 

It wasn’t the week I planned, but oh boy, was it another seriously productive week!

I started on finishing up the chapter 4 edits and rewrites, getting those done just as my editor sent through the chapter 3 edits! So, I figured seeing as I was on an editing spree, I would skip the social media days this week and just slam through all of that to get it done.

So there were no asks this week, but I did get the first Autumn Scenario Specials up—always fun to write a soft!M, but even more so in this cosy season, hehe! ;D

And it was totally worth focusing on the edits as I got all of it finished, including bug testing chapter 4 too! I’ll be sending my edited version of chapter 4 to my editor to do the final tidy-ups, and chapter 3 is also now ready to send for the final phase to the last set of readers and sensitivity readers to be completed.

There was the weirdest bug ever in chapter 3, but was eventually sorted super easily, but it did have me puzzled for a while, lol!

So, with all of that done way quicker than expected, I moved onto writing the next chapter too! And I’m already slamming through that :D

Chapter 5 is definitely more intensive than the nice smooth, shortness of Chapter 4, but there’s a lot going on again, as well as the variations of meetings with some recurring characters, so got to make sure those make an impact! ;D

So yeah, it was quite the week!

But to make up for not doing social media days, I will be spending most of next week making up for that. I’m actually hoping to spend more time on those so I can get October’s and November’s content done in one, as I am thinking of something a bit more intensive and fun for December…but I need time to pull it off, so getting ahead on social media now will mean I will hopefully get the chance to what I’m excited for!

And because I totally forgot to detail the last upcoming set of Scenario Specials on Patreon, here is the list of the love interest poll winners and the word prompts, as well as when they’re coming up!

-

‘Embrace, Coffee, Wind’ —Mason/Morgan Autumn Scenario Special (02/Oct/2024)

‘Cinnamon, Chill, Cobblestone’ — Adam/Ava Autumn Scenario Special (09/Oct/2024)

‘Gold, Indoor, Socks’ — Nate/Nat Autumn Scenario Special (23/Oct/2024) 'Scarf, Lake, Umber' - Felix/Farah Autumn Scenario Special (16/Oct/2024)

‘Spooky, Fall, Basket’ – Li-Sar Autumn Scenario Special (30/Oct/2024)

-

Sorry for the essay of an update this week! But it did feel good to get so much ticked off the checklist in one go that I had to share my happiness, hehe! :D

Hope you all have the most fabulous weekend! We’ll be offline as usual, so I’ll update you all again next week! <3

[bearr02]

Safe and Sound |Chapter eleven|

Pairing: Hybrid!ot7 x f!reader

Chapter warnings: this chapter was written mostly like a month or 2 ago and I haven’t gone back to read it so it might be bad 🙃

Summary: You have worked at a hybrid rehab and adoption center for years, enjoying being able to help people others only see as their animal side. You thought you might end up taking in one or two, what you didn’t expect however, was to take in 7.

Genre: fluff, angst, eventual smut, non-idol au, hybrid au, strangers to friends to lovers au

Word count: 2.5k

Member’s hybrid types: Namjoon: Bear, Yoongi: Bobcat, Hoseok: Ferret, Jin: Wolf, Jimin: Red panda, Jungkook: Bunny, Taehyung: Marble fox

A/n: sorry it took me so long, um.. I’ve been kinda off writing but I’m trying to go back and force myself to write and get stuff done (it’s kinda working) so hopefully I’ll update quicker next time

Last - Next - Masterlist

Jungkook eyes the intimidating building in front of him, hand squeezing your own tightly. “You’ll be okay.” You give his hand a small shake. He only hums in response, pushing himself close to you. “I promise.” You all start to walk in the direction of the store and you offer Hoseok your hand. He takes it gently, smiling at you before looking ahead at the building.

Jungkook moves behind you slight as you approach the building, the sight of people walking in and out intimidating him more than he’d care to admit. “It’s okay.” You mumble, squeezing his hand reassuringly. Jungkook slowly nods, pressing himself close to you. “You guys ready?” You ask, squeezing their hands as you look at them.

They nod, Jungkook’s more hesitant than Hoseoks. “You’ll be okay, I promise.” You say, guiding them inside the building.

As soon as you enter, Jungkook’s ears move to shield his face with a small whimper. You frown, pulling him close. “It’s okay, I promise nothing will happen while we're here. I won’t let anything happen.” You say with a reassuring smile. Jungkook hesitantly nods, but doesn’t move his ears from his face.

“Hey Hobi, can I have my hand back? I don’t think Kook’s gonna give me this one and I wanted to grab a cart. Unless you wanna push it.” You ask, looking over to Hoseok. “Sure.” He says, letting go of your hand, moving close to you after doing so. You smile at him and grab a cart, grabbing his hand again before putting it on the cart handle, covering it with your own. “You guys ready?” You ask, glancing at both of them.

They both nod, Hoseok’s more relaxed than Jungkook’s, but still slightly stiff. You nod, pushing the cart further into the store, looking at all the aisles. “So, we’re gonna have to go to two different sections, correct? Since you’re a prey hybrid” You look at Jungkook, “and you’re a predator?” You ask. Hoseok nods, “Probably. Unless they do it differently here and consider ferrets prey hybrids, too.” He says with a shrug. You nod, heading toward the direction of the prey hybrid section.

“Bun?” You call softly, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. He hums but doesn’t move. “We’re in the bunny hybrid section.” You say, trying to peek around his ears. Jungkook peaks at you before looking around the aisle, his ears slowly moving from his face. He reaches out to take a hoodie sleeve between his fingers, his eyes widening slightly at the soft material. You smile, placing your now unoccupied hand on the handle of the cart.

“Can I get this?” He asks tentatively, looking at you. You nod with a smile. He smiles back, shuffling through the sizes before pouting. “They don’t have my size.” He mumbles, his body sagging slightly. You walk over to him, “Is there a size bigger or anything? If we have to, we can shrink it in the wash.” You say, shuffling through the sizes.

“I’m good with a size bigger.” Jungkook mumbles, grabbing one of the hoodies off of the rack, putting it in the cart gently. You nod, moving back to stand by Hoseok. Jungkook walks further down the aisle, looking at all the clothing.

He picked out a few things before walking back up to you and slotting his fingers with yours. “You sure that’s all you wanna get?” You look at the cart which only holds a few clothing articles. “I can get more?” Jungkook asks, shocked as he turns to you. You nod, squeezing his hand reassuringly. “Of course. I don’t mind.” You say with a smile.

Jungkook searches your face for any sigh nod a lie before nodding, moving around the aisle again. “He’s not used to this. Neither of us are. We were lucky enough to get to pick a shirt.” Hoseok mumbles, watching Jungkook with a fond smile. “I think he’s happy to be choosing his own clothing for once.” Hoseok says, turning to face you, his smile still on his face.

You smile at him, turning back to watch Jungkook as he picks out his clothes with a wide smile on his face. “I’m sorry you guys had such a shit life.” You mumble with a slight frown. “Yeah but we have you now. It won’t be a shit life anymore.” Hoseok says with a grin, gently nudging your side. You smile.

Jungkook walks back with an arm full of clothing. “Sorry..I went a little wild.” He mumbles sheepishly. “I can put it back.” He says, chewing on his bottom lip nervously. You shake your head, gesturing for him to put it in the cart.

He hesitantly puts it in the cart, pushing it to the side slightly. “Okay, what else are you gonna need? I know toiletries are a must, but anything in specific?” You ask, looking at Jungkook. “Can I get a few blankets to nest with? It’s a bunny hybrid thing.” He mumbles nervously. You nod, “For sure. We’ll get some blankets after we get your toiletries. I’d assume there’s a nesting aisle?” You ask, pushing the cart in the direction of toiletries.

Jungkook nods, “I’m guessing yeah.” You nod, stopping at the end of the toiletries aisle. Jungkook looks at you confusedly. “Are you not gonna come down?” He asks nervously. “We can if you want us to.” You say, gently taking his hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze. “Can you?” He asks softly. You nod, pushing the cart down the aisle. Jungkook looks around curiously at all the products, seemingly in awe at the amount.

“Are all these for bunny hybrids?” He asks, turning to you. “I’m guessing.” You say, looking around as well. Jungkook smiles widely, walking over to a shelf, letting go of your hand to pick up something. You smile, leaning against the cart as you watch him, Hoseok moving to stand beside you, watching the bunny hybrid too.

“Are you gonna be able to afford this?” He asks worriedly, looking over at you. You nod, “Don’t worry.” You say, gently taking his hand and squeezing it reassuringly. He nods, watching Jungkook as he moves around. “I think he’s happy that he gets to choose his own stuff. He’s never had this luxury. Neither of us.” Hoseok mumbles, glancing at you before looking back at Jungkook.

You look at Hoseok with a small frown. “I’m sorry.” You mumble, squeezing his hand softly. He shrugs, “It’s not your fault.” He says, his eyes trained on Jungkook as he comes back, putting a few items in the cart. “You ready?” You ask, looking at Jungkook who nods. You nod, “Is there anything else you’ll need?” You ask.

Jungkook hesitantly shrugs, “I mean..I dunno if I need them but.” He mumbles, looking down at his feet. “Well let’s go get them.” You say, pushing the cart down the aisle. “What is it you want?” You ask, glancing to your side at Jungkook. “Blankets..for nesting.” He mumbles nervously. “Oh, right! I forgot you mentioned that earlier, I’m sorry.” You say, pursing your lips.

“‘S fine.” Jungkook mumble, plastering himself to your side as you all walk. “I wonder if they have an aisle for that.” You wonder aloud, looking at the aisle signs and what they hold. “Ah-ha!” You say, moving down an aisle. “Go nuts, Bun.” You say, gently ruffling his hair as you set the cart off to the side. Jungkook glances at you before moving to grab some blankets.

Hoseok smiles as he watches Jungkook pick out blankets with a wide smile. You lean against the cart, watching Jungkook fondly. Jungkook walks back with a few blankets in his arms, setting them in the cart with a wide smile. “Thank you, Y/n.” He says, hugging you tightly. You smile, “No problem, Bun.” You say softly.

He pulls away after another moment, looking at everything in the cart with a wide smile. “Hobi!” You say, turning to him, “You ready to get your things?” You ask. He nods, smiling at you. “Let’s go then.” You say, starting to head toward the predator hybrid section.

Hoseok is practically buzzing with excitement by the time you reach the section. “I can get whatever?” He asks, looking at you. You nod with a smile, “Of course.” Hoseok hesitantly starts to explore the aisle after your words, looking at all the clothing articles curiously. “Thank you.” Jungkook says from beside you. “For what, Bun?” You ask, turning to him. “Everything.” He mumbles, wrapping his good arm around your waist, laying his head on your shoulder.

You smile, wrapping your arms around him, laying your head on his as you watch Hoseok.

Hoseok returns to the cart with a few pieces of clothing in his arms, setting them in the cart. “Is that all you wanna get?” You ask, pulling away from Jungkook despite his protests. Hoseok nods, looking at you with a smile. You nod, moving down the next aisle.

Hoseok looks around the aisle as you walk down it. He reaches out to grab something, looking at you for approval as he moves to put it in the cart. You nod with a soft smile, “Get what you wanna get. I want you both to be comfortable.” You say softly. Hoseok slowly nods, hesitant, as he stares at you, slowly bringing the item closer to the cart.

When you don’t make a move to stop him, he puts it down into the cart. “Thank you.” He mumbles, hugging you. You smile, removing your hands from Jungkook to instead hug Hoseok. Jungkook huffs, trying to worm his way between you and Hoseok making the two of you laugh.

“Do you need anything else? Either of you?” You squeeze the two hybrids softly before pulling away to look at them. They both shake their heads, looking at the cart before back at you. “Are you sure? You don’t need anything for your animal form?” You check, looking between the two of them.

Hoseok hesitates before speaking, “Can I get a few toys?” He mumbles, pursing his lips as he stares at you. You nod with a smile, “Of course.” Hoseok’s eyes widen, “Really?” He mumbles as if he expected you to say no. You nod, heading in the direction of the toy aisle.

Hoseok and Jungkook follow close behind, looking around the store as they walk. When you all reach the aisle, Hoseok hesitantly starts to wander down it, looking at all the toys. “Is there anything else you wanna get?” You turn to Jungkook.

Jungkook shrugs, “I’m good with what’s in there right now.” He says softly, leaning into your side. “You sure?” You wrap your arm around his waist, squeezing him to you softly.

He nods, laying his head on your shoulder, “I’m sure.” He mumbles. You nod, watching Hoseok as he picks out a few toys before coming back to the cart. “You guys ready?” You ask softly, squeezing Jungkook gently before moving away from him. They both nod, Jungkook taking a hold of your hand. You make your way toward the front to check out.

Jungkook moves to hide behind your body when you reach the checkout, looking around nervously. “It’s okay.” You say softly, squeezing his hand gently before letting go to set everything on the conveyor.

Jungkook presses himself as close as he can to you. You take Jungkook’s hand back in your own, shuffling further down to pay.

Jungkook lays his head on your back, clinging to you as you pay. You gently squeeze his hand in reassurance, waiting for the cashier to finish bagging your items.

Even when she finishes and you start to put the bags into the cart, Jungkook doesn’t move, continuing to cling to your back. You gently squeeze his hand before starting to push the cart toward the exit.

Hoseok follows close behind, one hand holding onto the cart as the three of you walk. You do have some struggle with Jungkook clinging to you, but you make it work, hobbling over to the exit.

When you get outside, Jungkook pulls away slightly but not completely, looking around as the three of you walk toward your car.

When you reach your car, Jungkook finally pulls away, hesitant, but he pulls away. “Do you need help?” He gestures to the bags in the cart but you wave him off. “You two can get into the car, I'll load everything into the trunk.” You squeeze Jungkook’s hand lightly before starting to load all of the bags into your car.

Hoseok and Jungkook both get into the car after quadruple checking if you were sure you didn’t need help. They were both hesitant to get into the car and not help you, but they did in the end.

It didn’t take long for you to get everything into the car, but you wish it did. You feel like they didn’t get much even if they promise you they have everything they need.

You get into the car, buckling up before turning to them, “Are you both buckled up?” You receive nods from them and you nod back, starting the car.

—

As soon as you get home Hoseok and Jungkook both change into one of their new shirts and pants while you love on the cat. “I still don’t know what to call you, baby.” You gently scratch between the cats ears as you speak.

The cat's eyes close, a pur rumbling through his body.

“What do you think?” Jungkook calls out, modeling one of his outfits for you.

You smile, “It looks good. You have good style.” He blushes slightly and smiles shyly at your words, “Thanks Y/nie.” He walks over to you just as I Hoseok walks out of the hall wearing a new outfit of his own.

Hoseok poses for you, “What do you think?” He does a small twirl and Jungkook gasps softly, “I didn’t twirl! That’s not fair! You one-upped me!” He pouts, sulking.

Hoseok laughs, “I didn’t ’one-up’ you! I just thought of doing it and you didn’t.” You laugh, “Alright, alright, you both look equally as good.” You kiss Jungkook’s forehead.

His cheeks tint an even deeper shade of red at the action. “Someone’s blushing.” Hoseok teases, walking over to the two of you, plopping down beside you and laying his head in your lap. “Shut up!” Jungkook pushes his head with a pout.

Hoseok laughs, batting his hand away.

You smile, pulling Jungkook into your side and running your fingers through Hoseok’s hair. Jungkook nuzzles his head into your neck, wrapping his arm around your waist.

You lay your head on his with a content sigh, closing your eyes.

After a moment you feel something soft rub against your arm, and when you look, the cat is rubbing on your arm, looking at you expectantly. You smile, gently scratching his head. He crawls into Jungkook’s lap and curls up.

Jungkook smiles, gently petting him. “He’s cute.” He whispers, moving his head to your shoulder so he can look at the cat. “He is.” You confirm in a whisper, nodding your head.

As your eyes fall closed again, you can’t help but think of how lucky you are to have found them again.

Last - Next - Masterlist

A/n: so yeah, um, sorry if it’s sucked, I’m trying to get back into my writing element.. idk if it’s doing well..

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[ghost-in-the-hall]

An announcement for Sleep Token friends!!

To all of you eagerly awaiting the next chapter of Fall For Me, I am happy to report that the update is nearly finished, and I have also started outlining the next three chapters so hopefully I can get them out to you guys a little quicker! I can't even begin to tell you how much I appreciate everyone's patience between chapters and continued support for this story, hopefully I will have another update for you guys very soon ❤️❤️

[itsagrimm]

He Who Comes from under the Water

Chapter 11 - The Dive

Monster!König X she/her afab Reader

CN: Mentions of possible death and injury, fear of water, nearly drowning, mentions of possibly getting hurt, inappropriate use of an axe, depression and bad mental health, on character is passively suicidal, cannibalism, fear of being alone, fear of separation from a loved one, lack of self-confidence, kissing, making out, partial nudity

Notes for better understanding at the bottom!

Beta-read by the equally afflicted @queenquazar. Unhinged writing and editing sessions in the dead of night wouldn't be the same without you.

6.0k words

Masterlist

Hope you enjoyed your summer as I have but now as it's getting colder, darker and most importantly weather outside, I am fairly sure updates will roll quicker now.

also I need to do more trips with my camera, I am running out of decent looking header photos.

I made a playlist for this series. Enjoy.

The fresh morning breeze caressed over your slowly warming up skin. Branches of trees danced a lazy rhythm and the late birds of summer sang their song. Ghost stood next to you, wrapped in his coat made of leaves and moss and sturdy solitude, as you both looked up to the window of your bedroom. König was in there, still asleep and out of your reach.

“Let’s try to wake up König one more time.”

Hope reared its head as you heard Ghost’s words.

But not too high.

“How?” You wondered out loud. “I am sorry that you feel stuck here with me, but König did not wake up last time you tried. Why should he now?”

“Maybe we need to try harder,” Ghost replied and grabbed Königs axe.

Your eyes widened.

“Hold on!” You tried to stop what was unfolding before you, only to witness Ghost grow in size, taller than the trees, taller than the house, and far away from your little human words.

“Enough, little brother,” Ghost groaned from high above you and you had to shield your ears from the loud thundering voice “It is time to wake up. I am tired of guarding your Bride in your stead.”

Birds took off, the earth shook and trees froze as in fear of the giant that was said to be their guardian.

Ghost straightened up and turned to the house.

“Hey!”

Like an animal on the hunt that got caught, Ghost froze and turned back, staring down at you with an oddly blank expression.

“What are you up to, Ghost?” You called, trying to ignore the little voice in your mind telling you that shutting up and quivering in fear before the giant was a smarter strategy to survive.

“Why the axe?” You squeaked as you tried not to squeak.

Ghost blinked, confused by this little being that was his future sister in law. Such a flimsy thing of flesh and bone, shouting at him from her place in the dirt. Ghost glanced at the axe, shaking his head.

“Right. I am sorry. I am not used to explaining myself but you have every right to ask,” Ghost admitted, and fell back into a shape more approachable to you, like a shadow growing smaller by the change of light.

“You can do it.” Ghost said. “Hit König with the axe to wake him up.”

You blinked, it was your turn to stare confused.

“He is just the Vodyanoy napping in water. Swinging an axe against him is like hitting the surface of a lake, stirring up a few waves but nothing else. He will be fine. And hopefully he will wake up from it.” Ghost explained and passed you the heavy axe before growing in size again.

You looked down onto the massive wood axe in your hands, the wooden handle old and used.

“Are you sure that will work, Ghost?” Uncertainty creeping up in your mind and voice, worry and frustration manifesting about your fiance’s wellbeing and actions.

“Have you ever heard of running water getting cut?” Ghost answered. “I am not saying König will like it, but it won’t harm him. Trust me.”

You swallowed, feeling uneasy. Hitting a human with an axe in their sleep was murder. Plain and simple. But, König was as much a human as you were a fish. His skin shifted and shaped as he pleased. He ruled the waters and even summoned them in his dreams after not sleeping for who knows how long, destroying your room. And his eyes…

“I understand this might be a lot to ask,” Ghost paused. “You will have to trust me on this one, Vodyanitza.”

His words danced through your mind like willow branches in the wind. If Ghost would have wanted to and this was ill-intentioned, he could have harmed König without bothering to talk and convince you of this plan. Maybe there was a point in trusting Ghost even if the thought of König getting hurt made you grow colder inside than the cooler morning breeze ever could.

You looked up to the giant and nodded.

“Let’s do this.”

“Hold on tight,” He stated and grabbed you to place onto the window sill to your bedroom. Like a leaf he tumbled into the room after you, turning himself small again and landing in the splashing water on your bedroom floor.

You cried out, first in surprise than dreadful fear from all the water suddenly around you as the heavy axe slipped out of your fingers and landed in the water, sinking down with a shallow ‘clunk’ against the wooden planks. 

“Ghost. I-” you eyed the water splashing around the room like a lively river. Or a dark river, a deep river, deep enough to drown. “I am afraid of water. I can’t get down from here. I can’t do it.”

Ghost made a sound that could have been a grumbled curse whispered by a tree before being hit by lightning.

“A Vodyaniza who fears the water,” He stated. “Sounds right like the mess my brother would cause. Alright, I’ll do it then.”

“Wait,” You looked at König as you tried to calm your nerves as you took deep calming breaths. He was still deep asleep. A mess of tangled unhuman limbs and scales and hair and skin in the waters of your flooded room. Panic and fear surged from all the water, but you forced those emotions in you aside as you tried to commit his sight to your memory, just in case something was to go wrong.

“Okay,” You finally agreed and nodded to Ghost.

This was it.

Ghost picked up the axe from the water and raised it high before swinging it down onto König.

The impact of the axe connecting with Königs head sounded like thunder rolling over you.

Loud and painful and final. 

Suddenly, like a storm, the water rose and reached high before you, waves building and crashing at your feet as you held onto the window frame for dear life while trying to see through the room filled with fine droplets of water and foamy waves.

A groan rang through your ear.

Königs voice - strained and painfully familiar.

Another groan as you heard a second hit from the axe through the wild waters before you … like…

…like a yawn before having to leave bed, yet still feeling tired.

“König?” You hoped aloud, your voice being drowned out by the rushing water and Ghost’s deep voice.

“Wakey-wakey, brother! Stop making your Bride wait for you!”

“Urgh.”

A massive wave crashed right next to the wall with your window, breaking the glass and causing the house to shake from the impact.

“Get up, little brother.” You could not see through all the splashing water before you, only hearing the sound of Ghost’s deep voice. “Stop being dramatic and flooding your girl’s room. It’s rude.”

A third axe hit thundered through the little space before you. More water rose and a wave finally hit you. You wailed as you tried to fight against the dreadful flood, with desperate fingers you reached for safety. Catching the clammy window frame, the sill, and finally just the thin fabric of the curtains until the pull of the retreating water consumed you and took you in to the deep waters.

The silence of being underwater was more unbearable for your mind than the loud crashing of waves and shattering sounds of the hitting axe above.

For a moment fear froze your body and you could not help but stare as you floated impossibly downwards at the sight of König, coiled up like a serpent snake and shifting scales reflecting the light. His eyes were closed except for a sliver of that beautiful blue peeking into the world as if the king of everything under the water was about to wake up. Bubbles of air fought their way out of your lungs and you felt panic as you watched the axe hitting König from above.

Would he be fine?

No blood came out of the wound that broke as the axe connected with Königs sleeping shape. You watched König being unharmed and lazily stretching his long limbs and body as you floated downwards, taken by a strong current in the impossibly deep waters of your bedroom.

Wait, would you be fine?

König did not notice any of it. Instead, his eyes only slightly fluttered, as if merely being tickled awake - lazy, unfocused blinking of blue eyes before sharpening up. Still sleepy, he looked around as if confused if he was still dreaming or awake. Finally, König locked eyes with you and smiled. It was a beautiful smile, toothy and life-savingly-relieving to see him coming back to his senses.

You did not smile back. The air bubbles in your mouth were too precious a cargo to smile for König, opting instead for an unhappy grimace and some waving motions that hopefully spelled out: ‘I don’t want to be here and need your help to get out’.

For a moment, a very long moment as you struggled, König blinked before the realisation kicked in. He was far away, so far away from you in the waters that he had dreamed up. Yet, unbelievably quick the serpent body moved and changed as König headed for you. With hands, not scaled claws anymore,  König reached out as he fought his way through a whole ocean between you and him as a last air bubble left your mouth. 

Your head was spinning and you started to lose sight as you felt hands on you that lifted you up and out of the water.

You coughed, ungraciously spitted out water as König tried wiping out hair and tangled clothes out of your face.

“Bride! Are you okay?”

You vomited water at his feet and chest while he held you like a cat that got rescued from the floods, close to his body and patting you like a little animal.

“She looks fine.” Ghost’s gravelly voice sounded through the air as you still tried to blink and see. “You better worry about this flood you caused.”

“Oh. Right.” You felt König shift and then the sound of water draining away as if someone  had pulled a plug.

You coughed again for good measure, still feeling weak and miserably wet. The cold was starting to set in as the rush of fear and panic started to run out.

Shivering, you tried wiping away the water from your face and opened your eyes.

Your bedroom was a mess. But not in the way your mother would have disapproved of but in a way she would have questioned whether or not it was still habitable. The water was gone, but the signs of the flood were catastrophically clear with nothing being dry, in pieces or not where it ought to be. Your bed was a pile of torn fabrics and splintered wood. The chest with your clothing, tipped over and empty, looked like a sad hungry animal no one had bothered to feed. And your few personal possessions, kept toys from your childhood, gifts from friends, clothes lying around the floor. Ghost was standing before you on something that might have been pieces of your wedding dress, leaning on the axe with the same skull-covered expression as always, yet appearing somewhat amused under it.

And König - he was holding you up to his chest, his hands still patting you helplessly as if that could help you. He looked human. Mostly. The hair was as messy as the first day you saw him, covering most of his face except for blue eyes burning through with worry.

“I-” you rasped despite the storm of emotions waging through you. “I was so worried about you, König.”

Another cough.

“But I have never been as angry as this before. What did you do with my room? And my wedding dress. Also-”

You felt like there was still some water in places of your body where none was supposed to be, wheezing and shaking your head from the uncomfortable feeling.

“-put me down. You are so cold and I feel like I am freezing in your arms.”

Guiltily, König put you down, mumbling something that could have been an apology while Ghost choked on something that could have been a laugh.

You paid no attention to them, concentrating on your weak legs to hold you and carry you to the torn pieces of your wedding dress. Ghost stepped aside and watched you with open curiosity as you held your dress in disbelief of how quickly your work had turned into rags.  Holding back tears, you let the fabric fall back down with a wet squelching sound and turned to the door. If you were lucky the hinges still worked and you could walk out on your own and warm you up again downstairs, away from the left battlefield that used to be your sanctuary.

You stumbled, reaching for the handle and opening the door only to face another cruel adversary.

The stairs.

There was no way you were able to make it down the steps without breaking your neck with how wobbly your legs felt and how ridiculously shaky your hands twitched.

You turned around, the pleading frustration in your eyes too visible for König not to step closer and peaking at the obstacle in your way.

He nodded while trying to control whatever emotions attempted to govern his face.

“Allow me, Bride.” He asked and lifted you up again before carrying you downstairs and into the kitchen, setting you down before the warm oven.

Ghost followed and started preparing tea and a hot stone before leaving the room as König returned with dry clothes for you, magically found somewhere in a part of the house that hadn’t been flooded. You looked at the pieces offered in his hands, only to see that it was a mix of mostly your fathers and brothers clothes from the storage. You did not care. They were dry and the village would judge you no matter what you wore. Might as well just do the best for yourself.

Unceremoniously, you stripped out of your dripping clothes. König held and steadied you where you needed it and grabbed the discarded pile of fabrics to put it up on the laundry line outside once you were done.

You stayed where you were, leaning close to the oven in the hopes of warming up quickly, and refusing to do anything before feeling less miserable.

Ghost was still a guest. And König was your fiance. A good hostess and bride would have started serving them the food that you had previously prepared.

A good hostess and bride would not have been dipped into a pool of dreamed up water in their own bedroom either. You thought bitterly before adding a relieving Fuck it.

Someone knocked at the door and you called them in.

Ghost reappear from the outside with a blanket of moss and leaves, wrapping it around you and placing you in the nearest chair to the oven before passing you a cup of the freshly brewed tea.

“Thank you,” You rattled through cold lips.

König returned with more wood for the oven and added a large log to feed the fire. You had shown him how to care for a fire, never expecting he would ever find a need for it. Both brothers hustled and moved around your little kitchen, hardly speaking and only every once in a while giving you worried glances as they made sure all work of a proper household would be done while you rested and warmed yourself. You closed your eyes, letting the feeling of being safe and cared for, seep in.

This day, even if it was slightly past midday, had punched all energy out of you while also confronting you with every possible emotion a human heart could feel. Waking up in the flood, alone and confused, next to your water serpent like fiance, meeting your future brother-in-law who thought you would die soon, nearly drowning once again while your fiance woke from the literally deepest nap possible in your now destroyed room. You sighed, not even bothering to bring order into your mind.

Instead, you gratefully thought how you finally weren’t alone even if it was scary at times to share your life with beings so different from you - König, Ghost, Farah, talking animals and murderous Rusalkis. Yes, this had been another moment where you could have been harmed. And mourning your room and things destroyed by the flood, was one of many things in the curled grey corners of your mind. There was still anger and confusion in you why it all had happened. But you weren’t alone anymore to face those things on your own. There were people around you now that noticed you and cared for your well-being. Clearly, not all of them to the same degree or out of the same motive. You understood that. But your lost room and wedding dress, your fears and secrets and longings felt more like a coherent song than a desperate cry for help when it wasn’t just your voice.

Someone touched you softly on the shoulder and you opened your eyes.

“Hey.” König stood before you with his blue watery eyes and wild hair.

Both brothers had paused their busy work and stood with their attention turned towards you.

“How are you feeling?” Ghost asked gravely from his far away spot at the door and reached for more tea for you with his long unhuman arms without moving.

You shivered, unsure if from the cold or from the odd reminder that neither of the men were human.

“Better,” You replied. “Thank you for giving me time to recover.”

Your eyes wandered to König, craving to hear his voice again and feel his warming eyes on you. He looked away, avoiding your gaze.

Your little heart dropped deeper than the waters in your room had been, fighting hard to soldier on.

You cleared your throat.

“Well,” you squeaked, your voice still feeling thin and fragily human as you addressed the giant men. “I am starving. This is not how a host normally does it in this house since all I did was sit and rest now. But how about we eat?”

The rabbit stew that you had made this morning smelled tempting and promising from its reheating spot in the oven and you heard your own stomach growl.

“Thank you for the invite, Vodyanitza,” Ghost declared, slightly bowing his head. “But we will have to do that another time.”

“Oh,” You huffed, slightly disappointed.

Ghost stilled, as if thinking before taking a deep breath.

“It has been lovely meeting you, my dear sister-in-law. It’s been a pleasure. Also- ” He paused. “I may have treated you rougher than necessary and I do apologise for that. If you ever need help, just send for me. I may not appear to be the most, let’s say, approachable. But I do hope that there is nothing but the best for you and I am looking forward to your wedding.”

“You are coming after all?” König finally spoke, surprise ringing in his voice as he turned to his brother.

Ghost nodded. “It’s not every day a brother of mine gets married. I need to make sure you don’t drown your own wedding guests.”

König forced a smile.

“Graves marries someone new every couple of years,” He interjected.

“Graves married and remarried so much, he hardly needs his elder brother to tell him how to plan a party. He knows what he is doing.”

Both brothers chuckled and you smiled at the sight, remembering your own brother.

“Before I go, dear sister, allow me to give you something.”

Ghost  reached into his coat. From the depths of his pockets he produced a huge leaf, rolled up into a package and bound together with a simple string.

“I suppose you have none yet, but a future queen should wear one. It would look good on your wedding day.”

You took the package from his hands and pressed it slightly, trying to guess what was inside.

“Thank you, Ghost. Why-“

“Open it.”

Obediently you opened the little knot holding the leaf together with slow, cold fingers and unrolling what was inside.

You gasped.

In your hands was a Kokoshnik, large and covered with fine embroidery and colourful stones of green and blue. It felt firm in your hands. And it wanted to be worn. Like a crown, proud and bright for a special day. At least one thing you would have for your wedding day.

You thought back a sob at the thought of your torn wedding dress, your fingers still holding the precious crown like an anchor.

“I am sure König will gladly help you put it on. But don’t lose it. I made it for you and there is no other like it. It will protect you when you walk in the forest.”

“I…”, you huffed, “…don’t know what to say. This is very beautiful. Thank you.”

Ghost just waved with his hand like it was nothing.

“Don’t say anything and just wear it to keep you safe. Do me that favour.”

You nodded, out of words.

“Well, I’ll be gone then. The forest calls me.” Ghost turned to the door and you started to get up to send him off. “Don’t you dare get up, sister. What’s the point of the Kokoshnik if you fall sick from the cold and exhaustion. No, stay right where you are.”

You fell back onto your spot, the moss blanket encasing you like a cocoon of earthly smell and warmth.

“Save travels then, Ghost.” You spoke. “Thank you again.”

“Don’t mention it.” He waved and stepped outside, followed by König.

You sat there, hearing them talk and laugh and wishing each other well without making much out of it.

Then, finally, Ghost was away.

The rest of your day was spent alone with your own thoughts. König, aside from making sure you ate and rested, hardly spoke to you. His distance confused you. It gave a feeling of newfound loneliness when you stared at the unfamiliar ceiling with the wrong knots in the wood and the wrong bedding around you as you leaned against the oven. Ghost’s reassurances just a couple of hours ago now felt like a lie. You were no queen. And there was no way for you to live long enough to ever learn how to be one for König that was good enough. No standing on a box or life saving spells could change that. The finality of your fate was devastatingly simple. You would drown and König, your beloved König, would find himself a better queen. Why else did he withdraw himself like that?

The mauling insecurities inside of you stopped you from asking.

Instead you listened to König rummaging upstairs while you dozed under your moss blanket, practised drawing letters in the ashes of your oven or thought about how you could fix your wedding dress. It was pointless but you had little else to do and so you continued like you had always done.

König had brought the dress out together with the rest of your wet belongings, hanging it up to dry in the sun. The liberating concentration kept you from your dark thoughts: you had watched the dress through the window, mentally placing one piece of rag over the other in the hopes of possibly having a saving idea as the rags swayed gently in the breeze. It had worked until the light grew low and the trees around the house in the garden had started to spawn more unpleasant shadows than welcome distractions.

You got up from your cosy spot and started preparing dinner. Still feeling weak, your legs carried you with a slight tremor as your whole body was plagued by a deep tiredness. It came from all those times not resting. It felt like all those tears not shed. It was a tiredness that wasn’t fixed by sleeping longer one night because it was deeper than the soreness in your muscles and bones. It was the dark abyss of water calling for you. But you could lie to yourself. Opting to go to bed and calling it a day in the hopes that tomorrow would be better. Sometimes, giving up was actually a smart thing.

You huffed, once again forced to consider the reality of your situation.

Going to bed? Where? Your bedroom was destroyed. And the other rooms in your house had been packed up and sealed when your family died. Back then it was too much to bear seeing their things and looking at the places they used to rest. Even now, under no condition were you ready or willing to disturb those rooms. The easiest for you would probably be to sleep here in the kitchen.

But what about König? Would he need to sleep too? Flood the rest of the house and destroy every last bit of habitable space as he took you out in your sleep? Or would he leave you tonight and watch as the human-monsters and monsters-monsters finally had their feast with you. The thought nearly entertained you. Maybe that was better than drowning and at least some poor Tschort would enjoy a bit of your precious meat.

You chuckled at your own morbid thoughts.

But it was not night yet, and maybe there was a bit of queenly pride inside of you yet as you decided to brace yourself for an overdue conversation with König, leaning against the kitchen counter for support.

You opted to make some food. Since it might be your last chance to enjoy a meal before you became a meal, you took your time. There was not much to be done for dinner: heating the left-over stew, cutting some bread made of acorn flour, setting the table. After you finished, you steeled yourself for the hardest part.

“König?” You called upstairs. “Would you like to eat dinner with me?”

You held your breath and waited as the rumbling from upstairs stopped.

“It’s fine if you are busy, but I am hungry and would love your company,” You coaxed.

Heavy steps sounded through the wooden house, causing the old stairs to creak under the weight of the Vodyanoy.

König emerged into the kitchen, bowing down slightly under the marginally too low ceiling and looking at you sheepishly.

“Are you sure, Bride?” He asked. “I haven’t finished repairing your room.”

You raised your eyebrows in surprise, too stunned to speak before you swallowed down a good chunk of your raging insecurities. 

“So that’s what you have been doing up there,” You finally said. “I did not know.”

König looked to the ground like he had been caught stealing goodies from the pantry. It was a look that made your knees weaker than even a day facing terrors could.

“I wanted to repair it. I wanted to apologise with more than words. It’s what good kings ought to do.” He explained looking immensely guilty.

Your breath hitched.

He cared?

You looked down, still thinking of your room and your ruined wedding dress. It did hurt you.

But there was hope because he cared. You nearly hated yourself how desperate you were from the affection of someone who you could never have.

“It’s fine,” You said, after a few moments of heavy silence as you fought the storm inside of you. “It’s fine for now. We will make it work and repair it together. It’s, ah, fine.”

He looked relieved as you looked up from your hands.

“I also want to apologise,” You continued. The words in your mouth felt relieving to spit out like bitter medicine. “I thought about this. I was really cross at you. Not entirely sure how much nicer I could have been considering the moment. But I don’t strive to talk to others like that, especially not my fiance. I just felt hurt and alone.”

He turned his head like the Heron when hunting little fish in the water.

“You have every right to be angry, dear,” König stated

“I...” You tried before stopping and starting anew. “That does not mean I am proud or okay with my words. Especially after Ghost explained to me that you probably overworked yourself on my behalf. I am not sure how to feel about that yet but it does not make me feel good. I don’t want you to suffer because of me. I feel so guilty. And like a burden.”

König stared at you.

“Dear,” He said softly. “I know you want to be good and kind. I know you are. But please give me your bad as well.”

You blinked at him.

“What?”

He raised his arms like a man at a loss of word, stumbling around the room until he turned back to you.

“Guess how I feel failing you over and over again when your reaction to me is kindness and surrender? I feel bad. The worst! Don’t do this to me. Be a burden. Be angry. Be the biggest inconvenient person wherever you go. Please be angry and demand better of me! I want all of you. Not just the nice parts.”

Your head was spinning. Was he…? Did he really…?

“I am not good enough!” König continued his tirade with a voice rising louder and louder like a tea kettle that had reached its boiling point. “I am who puts you in danger over and over again. I hardly protect you from the dangers of the world. I am a danger of the world. I am making a poor husband for you. But the reality is, I am not good enough to step away because I am selfish. So, how dare you make yourself feel any less than you are.”

His eyes gleamed with a madness you had never seen before in him as he lowered his voice with the last of his words. It was dangerous. A sign of warning that told you to step back and run as far away as you could like a good girl should.

But you were just invited to leave that behind you.

“I don't want you to leave either!” You hit back, squaring up to the challenge. “I just don’t want to feel like I am a constant problem. I am just a human! A peasant! And a bad one at that since I will likely starve next winter without help! I know nothing of how to be a queen! I nearly drown all the time! How can you not understand that I don’t feel like I am allowed to be a problem when my reality is that no one cares if I live or die!”

“Because you are wrong! I care.” König's eyes gleamed as he hissed his answer.

“Why?” You spit back, the fire in you burning and ready to torch any bridge behind without thinking.

“Because I love you.”

Königs words hung in the air, irretrievable and powerful enough to break whatever you two had.

You looked at him. His face was frozen in fear and panic. Like he had admitted to a crime he’d sworn to keep a secret.

He loved you. The thought raced through your mind, unsure where to be put and what to do with it now.

“I am sorry,” König said. “I understand. I will make sure you are okay as promised anyway and-”

“Please…” you managed to your own surprise.

“Please?” König asked with his eyes shining down at you.

You took a deep breath and all the courage in you that was left, “Please lean down so I can kiss you.”

König looked at you, too stunned maybe or unsure how to touch you without breaking this human body of yours, before finally kneeling down in one, not so smooth, motion. You stumbled forward, colliding into his chest and tangling in his arms before lifting your head and kissing him.

It was all teeth and desperation. König met your lips with a hunger matching yours, and an anger challenging your long hidden fury. He moaned and you wanted every bit of air you could get from him as you roamed his back and shoulders and arms and chest and neck, and at a certain point you got lost in him. You bit his lips and tasted blood. He snarled and pushed you back, catching your head before you could fall and hurt yourself. You stumbled and fell back anyway, taking him with you. The crash rumbled loudly as König caught himself on his arms, hovering above you before continuing where you had left off. His mouth was addicting, and willingly you answered his salty lips and tongue. A bit of revealed skin at his neck here, a tug at your shirt there. You scooted up feeling hot and needing that damn old shirt off your body because you were burning up with it. Instead of getting it off quickly you got yourself tangled in the large sleeves, nearly ready to just tear it off your body as you felt Königs hands pulling at the fabric and freeing you. The kiss of the cooling air on your skin made you still. For a moment you felt shy, making you cross your arms in instinct before your chest.

König looked at you from a position that was something between kneeling, sitting and lying before you, also half out of his clothes with his Rubacha hanging around his neck and head.

“Not sure why I feel like this is new, now.” You admitted. “You have seen me naked before.”

“That was a different nakedness,” König offered and finished getting the shirt off. “This is new.”

You nodded, understanding entirely what he meant, and continued to feel vulnerable. What were you supposed to do? You had no idea what you wanted now except being close to König.

“We don’t have to continue, my love.” Your fiance said.

You nodded again, reassured yet still utterly lost on what to do.

König scooted closer and slowly raised his hands, “Can I touch you? I just want to hold you.”

Instead of bothering with words or another creative and variety serving nod, you leaned into him. Königs warm hands caught you, pressed you closer to him and embraced you.

You hummed.

“Is this good?”

“Yeah, I am sorry-”

“No,” König shut down instantly. “No more ‘sorry’ for you tonight. Or ever. I really meant that.”

You knitted your eyebrows together in confusion.

“But what if I do something bad?” You countered as you enjoyed feeling close to König. “Shouldn’t I say sorry at some point?”

“To me? Always.” König grinned teasingly before growing serious. “The rest of the world, however, has a lot of apologising to do before you ever get back into a situation to be sorry for something, dear.”

“You just want me to be as bad as you are,” You teased back half-heartedly.

“Naturally.”

You stayed silent, not sure what to say or do except enjoying being safe and loved in Königs arms as you mindlessly explored his back and chest with your fingers, drawing little circles and charms into his wonderful skin.

“We should talk about the sleeping situation tonight.” You finally spoke, breaking the silent spell over you.

“Yeah.” König agreed. “I have an idea.”

Cultural Context Notes:

The theme of the unkillable giants as beings connected to nature can be found in the Edda, but it’s not the only place this theme is explored. It’s just the most clear one I thought of, and can be put into words as a place to maybe start researching if your are interested in that. The idea of hitting König as something akin to a giant to wake him up, comes from the tale of Thor and Skrímnir.

Generally, the idea of paralleling gods/godlike beings, humans and giants, escalated into a bit of a philosophical excursion at the kitchen table when I mentioned how the story is unfolding, leading to the question what exactly the difference between godlings, giants and humans is and if there even is one. In plenty of pre-Christian European tales, there aren’t boundaries between godlike beings and humans. If a human stays with a godlike being, they kind of tag along and don’t die like they would have had when staying with their fellow humans. Sometimes there is an explanation for it (godly ancestry, nectar or Idun’s apples, magical blessings), sometimes there isn’t (Thialfi and Röskva as Thor’s entourage, general trope of humans in service of or in marriage with a non-human being). 

Warming stones or using ceramics is an old practice when hot water bottles weren’t available.

There are several legends and myths associating the water or waters generally with snakes. Naturally, there is the saga of the Midgard snake, encompassing the world in Norse mythology. The theme of a great water snake or mermaid-like half-fish, half-human body encompassing the world also comes up in Greek mythology in the figure of Oceanos as the great river god and father of river gods. Since we don’t have plenty of sources about old Slavic beliefs, I am taking the liberty and filling some gaps here from geographically closer regions where we do have more sources on mythology.

Acorn is edible and can be made into a fine flour from which it is possible to bake bread. However, do not just make flour from acorns. It’s a huge process to disinfect and debitter acorns before grinding them into flour. There is a reason why nowadays most cultures opt for utilising cultivated crops like grains and legumes instead of using low yield giving nuts and seeds. (Also, we really need those acorns as food for wild animals and for reforestation!) Cultivation of plants is a huge game changer for human life quality and communal living. It’s really cool. But it does require more cooperative systems of labour since harvesting and processing plants like grain requires sharing of work, space to do it, and natural weather & ground conditions to grow. Plus the grain in itself needs to be cultivated first. And these amazing food sources can be exploited by having control over places in which one can grow certain high yielding crops which can trigger war and oppression. Most noticeably in the Central and Eastern European region, which is obviously what I write about a lot, this is the case with Ukraine. This now independent country has good climate and ground conditions, yielding great harvests of wheat grain and sunflower, leading to the region being dubbed the Granary of Europe. Ukraine was fought over not just today but also occupied in historical moments like WW2 by the Nazis or under the Russian Empire precisely to have access to these high yielding conditions. So, food and where food comes from, is an important angle to understand plenty of conflicts, imperial oppression and cultures. I invite you to read more about the history of grain, why Ukraine has a flag literally depicting a grain filed under the blue sky or maybe learning how to make bread yourself. To return to my point:  Bride lives in an area which has seasons. However, the climate is cooler with lots of swamps and waters around. The forest takes most of the shore space in her immediate vicinity. She has a garden in which she (tries to) grow buckwheat, a very climate-resistant pseudo grain. And technically she owns fields, but has no way to work them on her own due to the lack of manpower, possible lack of seeds, as well as timing issues for the sowing. But common grains like wheat require a warm and steady dry climate which is not the case here. Other grains like rye are historically common in Central and Eastern Europe, however one needs to plant them first and after the harvest it still requires labour to dry and deshell the rye first, a luxury that Bride does not have because she has been on her own for most of the year. So, to finish this long excursion on grains and flours - she uses acorn flour for bread because she was isolated and on her own. Also, agriculture is really cool and maybe you will think about the amount of labour, logistics, politics and historical development when biting into something flour based.

Vodyanitza is just the female version of Vodynoy

Rubacha is the name of the traditional linen shirt worn by historically both men and women but nowadays mostly associated with male clothing traditions. This shirt is often loosely fitted and bound at the hip with a belt. Having embroidery, especially red embroidery on a Rubacha is very common as red natural dye was widely available in the region. The embroidery and introduction of other colours is dependent on the exact time and place a Rubacha comes from. Even nowadays the Rubacha is part of plenty of Eastern European traditional dresses.

Quick reminder: a Tschort is a type of evil spirit.

Would you like to be tagged as well? send me a message.

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[tomorrowsgardennc]

chicken update // december 17

awww yeh, operation chicken is a go. hubs and i have a plan of attack, and today i started one of many steps we gotta get through between now and late march. since i know where exactly i'll be sourcing my chicks from, i already know they will be less than a week old when they are delivered to the store, and i hope to have enough spoons to get in line early on delivery day. fr, they have lines out the store door like it was black friday in the 90s on chick delivery day.

so, knowing that, first step is to start prepping the nursery. now typically the chicken nursery is just a plastic tub with a hole cut out of the top for the heat lamp. even though this will be the only batch i'll get for a few years (HAHAHAHAHAHA) i still want a nice nursery for them - one that is easy for me to reach, clean, and check on them, and at the same time cat friendly. i will have this nursery in my craft room with the door closed when i am not there, but i will have it open for cats to come and go with supervision. i want them to get used to having chickens around ASAP - especially parsley. but i also know cats are cats and i need to be extra careful. so, with all of this in mind - here is the plan for the chicken nursery:

my dad has made several of these raised beds for me over the course of 4 years now. they are built with great craftsmanship, of course, but still with some kinks to iron out that we learned along the way. like not to line them with plastic anymore, because that just encourages the wood to rot quicker more than anything. but they are a decent height for me and my needs. i have moved some into the greenhouse to live out the rest of their lives with hopefully less wear and tear from rainfall, but the last one he built has the least amount of wood issues and mold. so that is the one i have chosen for the chicken nursery.

step 1 was to hammer out the bits i don't need - also the bits with the most rot. bottom is gone, and the front is now gone. the idea is to have the bottom, front, and top have the wire mesh. bottom will have the be the 1/4" mesh, but i have leftover 1/2" mesh i'm going to use for either the top or front. bottom will also - eventually - have a very narrow pull out drawer for the poop. the top will be on a hinge with a locking mechanism so i can open it but a cat with the normal amount of thumbs cannot open it (only 1 of 5 cats has an extra thumb, should be fine 👀)

i am leaving the sides and the back wood because this will be against a wall in the craft room, so no need for mesh there. and i am hoping with the sides closed in there will be less accidental intrustions from feline entities.

i went ahead and painted the mesh i already have black. the bottom mesh will not be painted, just in case. or will painting it be ok??? who knows. not me lol.

close ups of the details of how the raised beds was built, in case any of you are also master carpenters out there and are curious. the wood i smacked out and didn't want had been placed with the longest staples i have ever did done see so those were a pain to plyer out... albeit this was built not expecting to take apart. i also found this forbidden toothbrush?? i don't know what it's really for and i also didn't know we owned one, but hey it was perfect for cleaning any residual soil from every nook and cranny! felt like nails on chalkboard when doing it, but i endured.

by the time i ran out of spoons, the basic framework of the chicken nursery was complete! well, most of the work was done by my dad earlier this year... BUT i took apart what needed to be taken apart and did step 1 of cleaning. with parsley's help, as always.

next step is to wait for a very sunny day after i have recharged my spoons and spray bleach on it, and scrub it down real good. like, extra good. then after that will be painting. after after that, the real construction begins on the mesh bits and the drawer.

[dojunie]

MESSENGER, HRJ [PT 8: SHH!]

➥ PART 8 OF MESSENGER; a small smau about a stranger, a whole lot of animal pics, and a relationship you would never have expected to come from texting a random number written on a public bathroom mirror.

➥ WC: 3.4K

[PREVIOUS PART] [INFO/MASTERLIST] [NEXT PART]

a/n: double update AGAIN bc i took forever to update 🤠

current tl: @matchahyuck @theboyz-jacob @hoeshi17 @neoteez01 @hibernatinghamster @luvvsnae @shwizhies @skynightgalaxy @ihrtnyu @kunvibing @liliansun @txpxwxk @is4b3ll3s @rxnexxi @rum-gone-why @she-is-dreaming @chenfleur @haedgaff @twogyuu @jeongintwt @rinrinslovebot

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RENJUN HAS NEVER WANTED TO STRANGLE SOMEONE MORE THAN HE DOES RIGHT NOW.

There were almost tangible beams of heat drilling into the side of Donghyuck’s head as Renjun glared at him from across the table, while the man in question smiled and flirted and chatted with his girlfriend like absolutely nothing was amiss. Birds were chirping. The sun was shining. There wasn’t a single cloud in the sky, and students were wandering around in the quad outside without a care in the world—

—And yet, he still felt like he was seconds away from being executed.

Had Renjun’s mind not already been obliterated from the test he’d just taken in his last class, he might’ve been more suspicious of Donghyuck’s text. Because Lee Donghyuck? Asking him if he was free to study? On a Friday? 

However, a few hours of studying simply didn’t sound too bad after just barely escaping English Lit with his average intact, which meant he didn’t smell the blood in the water until it was too late— when he’d stumbled upon the rather quiet corner that Donghyuck told him to head towards instead of their usual spot on the first floor. (And this should have been another clue, as Hyuck has only ever wanted to study near the vending machines on the rare occasions Renjun could convince him to open a book, but like any normal human being, he wasn’t thinking that this random change in scenery would lead to this.)

He rounded the corner, saw Donghyuck, saw Doyeon, and then saw you, and instantly felt like he'd just walked into the universe's idea of cruel joke.

Why? Well. Because the only logical solution after realizing how badly he'd fucked up by not immediately telling you who he was after the volleyball game— the double life he’d accidentally started by being too embarrassed to tell you in fear of… everything, really— had been to just... never see you again.

As stupid as it sounds, like some plot from a teen movie, it was the only thing he could think to do that wouldn't make things worse.

Renjun would quicker die than tell you this, but he'd gotten used to you. He'd grown familiar with always having you in his head, accustomed to your endless exclamations, used to how his mood would shift for the better every time your message bubble appeared on his screen— and the idea of losing you because of something so stupid made his stomach squirm like nothing he'd ever felt before. To keep you in his life as Duckboy he'd have to stay out of your way as Renjun, and if those were the stakes then he'd take his chances.

He'd just avoid you like the plague. That was fine. He could do that.

(Since he's never seen you in real life before this week, it probably won't even be that hard, he thought. Right?)

Right.

Hence the reason his heart just about exploded in his chest when he saw you sitting in this library seat. 

A few minutes have passed since then, original panic ebbing into tightly-wound stress as the seconds ticked by with you not even a foot away from him. 

He initially thought that if he just acted really serious about studying, you might keep your distance. If he glued his nose to his textbook and said nothing, pretended you weren’t there, entirely at the expense of looking like an uptight dork but hopefully putting you off from wanting anything to do with him— he might get out of this unscathed.

He felt you looking at him. He’d even caught you nearly say something to him once, watching you open your mouth out of the corner of his eye, before you thought better of it and slouched back down in your seat, frowning.

For a while it worked. But as he honestly should’ve known about you by now, if your messages were anything to go by— your curiosity could only be so subdued.

“What course is that for?”

You leaned into Renjun’s side of the table. 

He tore his eyes away from the textbook he wasn’t focusing on to look at you, and is wholly embarrassed by how easily his indifferent facade cracks.

The worst part of it all is knowing that if he wasn't such a coward, you might've been halfway to being friends by now. Maybe this would have been it. But instead he set himself up for this: You, sitting at his side, asking him questions and talking to him and entwining yourself further and further into his space with the obvious intent of getting to know him better, without the slightest idea that you already knew him. You know where he was born. You know his hobbies, his favorite animals and least favorite foods; you know about the difficulties he has with brother, and because it’s easier to tell things to strangers on the internet, you know things about him that not even his own family knows.

Except you don’t really feel like a stranger to him anymore.

“I can’t recognize like half the words on that page. This is math, right?”

“Applied Statistics,” he replied feebly. 

There were some things that couldn't be translated through a phone, though. Like the clear lilt of your voice without the tin of a receiver. How much you seem to fidget; biting pen caps, tapping the table with your fingers, bouncing the balls of your feet against the carpeted floor. Your lack of respect for personal space. He’s hit by a blast of your shampoo or perfume (Honey, like you told him you put in your tea? Vanilla?) as you bow your head closer to oogle at his side of the table.

“Have you ever seen the Davinci Code?" you asked. "All that equation gibberish that was floating around the Mona Lisa in that really, really, ridiculously long monologue scene near the beginning?”

He has never seen the Davinci Code. He nods anyway. 

“This looks like that. You actually understand this stuff?”

“It’s an advanced course,” Donghyuck cut in suddenly. Both you and Renjun turn to look at him; you in interest, he, with irritation hastily returning. “You have to take a test to even get a chance to take that class because it counts for like, three math credits, instead of the one like the rest of us losers have to contend with. Renjun here is pretty smart, you know?”

Fuck off, he wanted to bite— but then you hummed and nodded beside him like this made sense, and he temporarily forgot his venom.

“Probably why I haven’t seen you around,” you told him casually. “I don’t tend to attract people with more than two brain cells to rub together, if not already obvious by my friendship with these two.”

Doyeon gasped and reached across the table to swat at you, and you flung yourself closer to Renjun to get out of her reach. You’re giggling brightly as you begin to bicker with her, the same laugh that’s been swirling around in his mind since that night you called him— and again, his irritation slips away at the familiar sound. Though, instead of it being recouped by the slushy feeling he usually got when he thought about your laugh— he’s struck by even more guilt.

The only reason Renjun already knows what you sound like is because you called Duckboy that night. 

The reason he’s so sure he’s smelling honey and vanilla is because you told Duckboy that those were your favorite scents. 

The reason he knows that math isn’t your strong suit isn’t because you just told Renjun that you find it hard— it’s because you told Duckboy a few days ago that you flunked two math courses in your freshman year, and that it really knocked the wind out of your sails. It was something you told him in sincerity, the first time he’d ever noticed a waver in your usually boisterously confident persona and the sheepish way you brought him a little closer; how Renjun had to fight to keep from grinning when you got flustered afterwards and made him promise not to make fun of you for it. 

‘I only tell people that I really trust about that,’ you’d texted him later, ‘So don’t go around making me regret it!!!’

And now he was repaying your sincerity by lying straight to your face. If that wasn’t grounds for regret, he didn’t know what was.

His stomach was in knots by the time he was snapped out of it, to the sound of Donghyuck’s muffled wailing. Muffled because Doyeon’s hand is clamped over his mouth, the girlfriend in question staring at him, wide eyed, as if he’s just done something awfully stupid— and judging by the pinched look on your face as Renjun chanced a glance at you, he might not have been too far off.

“Kim Doyeon,” you whispered, betrayed.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry— Shit, I thought you were kidding! Was your little phone-rendezvous seriously supposed to be a secret?”

What? Renjun lost the plot. He has no idea where the conversation has gone. Donghyuck manages to wrangle Doyeon’s hands from his mouth, enough for him to gasp a needed breath, and then out comes a howl that echoes throughout the high ceilings of the SNU Technical Library.

“You have a cyber-boyfriend?”

Turns out that the corner that Donghyuck picked for his study session was not nearly as secluded and confined and soundproof as you all thought. Ten seconds later and you were being run out of the library by the little, hawkish, very red in the face floor attendant. Twenty seconds later, poor Renjun has somehow ended up saddled with Donghyuck’s bag as you and Doyeon chase him around the front steps of the building, shouting obscenities over his lack of decorum— and another twenty seconds later the four of you are walking back to the dormitory block, Donghyuck’s ears pinched pink and the conversation having shifted back to normalcy.

You hadn’t really been planning to study today. You honestly hadn’t been planning to do much of anything really, besides vedge out in your dorm room with a bag of frozen peas on your ribs (courtesy of Duckboy’s quick thinking, though you’d never tell him that) since only two short days have passed since the game and you were still plenty sore.

But Doyeon, in her text, had offhandedly mentioned that this Renjun guy would be coming, and your sudden openness to cracking open a book surprised the both of you. She, because the last time you willingly agreed to study with her and Donghyuck was… Never, and you because you weren’t expecting the mere idea of seeing Hyuck’s friend again to make studying sound like less like torture.

You’d be lying if you said your mind hasn’t run across him since the game. Nothing nefarious, of course. Just vague curiosity. Interest. Mostly around how, with a face as cute as his, it was possible you’d never noticed him around campus before; or just why the hell he’d been acting so weird when you met. Plus other innocent questions, like what he got up to in his free time if he was allegedly as reclusive as Donghyuck had joked. Like if he read books. Or played an instrument. 

Or if he had a girlfriend. 

(You know. Completely harmless things like that.)

Then he’d appeared in the library corner a little bit after you’d gotten there, looking properly studious in his little denim jacket, books huffed up under his arm and bag slung over his shoulder— but also just as stiff and sickly as he’d been upon seeing you a few nights ago. 

It was like your mere presence put him on edge but you had no idea why, and this little study session confirmed that it wasn’t just a first-meeting-jitters thing. He didn’t seem to relax for a single second back there at the study table, and pondering the list of possibilities began to drive you a little crazy. 

(Did you smell bad? It couldn’t be. You’d showered before you left your room, and even spritzed an extra burst of your honey chamomile perfume since you knew you’d be in close proximity to him today. Were you too pushy? Hopefully not— you’d been trying your damnedest to be on good behavior, only asking the most mundane of questions to hold yourself back from voicing any thought that grazed your brain like you usually did with potential friends; and he’d been responding in kind. He wasn’t weird around girls, since he seemed to talk to Doyeon just fine— So what’s the deal?)

You didn’t get any closer to answering that question like you’d hoped you would before the session was over, but that was no matter. All today had done was cement in your brain that, whether he was just a natural introvert or if it really was something about you that ticked him the odd way— you’d die before you gave up on figuring it out.

Maybe a little dramatic. But that’s just how much you hated being left in the dark.

After Donghyuck had gotten you all kicked out of the library (and you’d socked him good for the ‘cyber-boyfriend’ comment), the consensus had been to just call it quits on studying for the day. Fine with you. You didn’t mind an hour to kill before practice, anyway.

You’ve ended up beside Renjun again as the four of you wandered down the path that led you back to student housing. Hyuck and Doyeon were a few steps ahead, mumbling about something you weren’t quite close enough to hear, until Doyeon cursed. 

“Of course I would remember now,” she whined. It was only when she stopped to turn, eyebrows knit as she found your face, that you even realized she was talking to you. “Statistics. Statistics. That’s what I was forgetting to tell you in the library. I got a text from Guyeon a few hours ago complaining about a pop quiz that her statistics professor set on her this morning, and I remembered you two were taking the same course but on different days— the whole reason I even asked you if you were free to study with us today was to tell you that so you could prepare.”

“Statistics?” you echoed. “Like… Stats 204? Professor Yubin’s Stats 204?”

She winced, damning confirmation, and when it finally hit you almost gasped aloud. You have a pop quiz tomorrow?

“So?” Donghyuck asked. “Just study for it tonight? Aren’t you free for the rest of the day?”

“No, dipshit,” you hissed, dread steadily rising, “Considering that your girlfriend is the captain of the team, you should already know that Doyeon and I have practice in an hour that doesn’t end until six! Not to mention that studying doesn’t really help when you barely understand the material in the first place—”

“Aren’t his quizzes pretty short though?” Renjun asked quietly.

It was obvious that he wasn’t expecting any of you to hear him, from the way he froze when all three of your heads whirled in his direction, but you did. You heard him loud and clear. 

“What was that?” you asked quickly. His face seemed to pale three shades at the sudden intensity of your stare. 

“Have you… Taken? Statistics 204 before?”

“Uh—I… Yes? But it was in freshman year, I mean, it was a while ago—”

“But you took it,” Donghyuck interrupted, voice suddenly very, very pointed. You glanced at him. Hyuck’s face was now the perfect picture of interest, a carefully neat and somehow still nefarious grin tugging at his lips. “Right, Jun? And like I said, Y/N, Renjun here is a real star when it comes to numbers. Did I already tell you he has a 4.0 too? That he was a tutor last year?”

Your eyes widened further. He was a tutor? He was that smart? 

Foolishly you asked in what subject, knowing the answer wouldn’t sway your sudden bubbling desperation either way, but you felt it right to ask— and Donghyuck’s smile only widened further. 

“Math.”

“I stopped tutoring though,” Renjun blurted quickly, as if only now realizing where this was going, and you turned back to him to catch his expression morphing into clear alarm. “I only did it for a few months because the STEM board asked me to fill in a spot, I’m not any authority or anything—”

“The school asked you to tutor people?”

“I feel like that should make you a very big authority,” Doyeon chimed. “Maybe the biggest authority, actually.”

“Well shit,” Donghyuck said cheerily. “And aren’t you free for the rest of the day, Renjun? Isn’t that just the craziest coincidence that Y/N could use a study buddy tonight?”

And for the first time in the very short amount of hours you’ve known this guy, as Renjun whirled to look at Donghyuck, you saw a cast on his face that wasn’t vague discomfort or straight up horror. It was a look you didn’t even know Renjun’s face could make— and the pure, burning disdain written all over his features was enough to snap you out of your blind hope.

His expression couldn’t be any clearer; Renjun did not want to be volunteered.

Which… duh, you suppose in hindsight. If he couldn’t even sit next to you in the library without looking like he was waiting to exploded, then what type of torture would it be to study with you alone? Sure, you were desperate for any chance to not fail this quiz, but the last thing you wanted to do was force the guy into your space when he obviously wasn’t too sure about you yet. Ideally, you wanted to win him over naturally. Not through Donghyuck’s odd meddling. 

Before Donhyuck could say anything and make it worse, you shook your head and forced as big a smile as you could manage.

“That’s alright,” you said, casually waving a dismissive hand, “I got it. I, uh… I have another friend who can help me out, anyway— I’d hate to spring something on someone so last minute!”

You felt Doyeon’s pointed eyes on the side of your face, narrowed in obvious disbelief— because you were lying through your teeth and she knew that you had no friends who were taking Stat 204 this semester, much less any who’d ever volunteer to help you study on a Friday night— but instead of acknowledging her suspicion, you avoided her gaze altogether and restarted the walk back to the dorms.

“What?” Hyuck whined belatedly. He stared at you as if he couldn’t believe whatever he was scheming didn’t work. “But— But Renjun is literally—”

“Forget it,” you interrupted. “I have no interest in taking up his night with the hell that is reversed variables. Doyeon and I have to be at practice soon and I still want to eat, so can we get a move on?”

This thankfully seemed to be the end of the conversation, even if Donghyuck was huffing and puffing the whole way back to the dorms; Doyeon next to you now since your sudden speed walking had shifted you to the front. You knew she had things to say about all of that but you kept your eyes forward. (It wasn’t like she wasn’t going to have an entire afternoon to interrogate you in the gym during practice, anyway. God.)

The two boys paused on the pathway as you and Doyeon branched off towards your own building, Donghyuck making all sorts of crying noises and loud declarations of love as Doyeon walked on and tried to look annoyed about it (clearly failing, if the pink in her ears was anything to go by), while Renjun just stared off after you like the entire weight of the world was on his shoulders. 

Almost as if realizing he was being odd again he rebooted, blinking it out of his eyes and nodding you goodbye in proper quiet fashion, you couldn’t find it in yourself to be too off put by it. 

(Mostly because his lip pulled into the tiniest smile as he waved, and the sight of it was cute enough to make you forget. What can you say? You’re a simple girl.)

If it turned out that there really was a reason for how curious he was being, you were sure you’d figure it out soon enough. You were rather good and sleuthing out secrets— and Renjun was the most intriguing puzzle you’d come across in a long time.

[PREVIOUS PART] [INFO/MASTERLIST] [NEXT PART]

[bibbykins]

Moonlight Reign Ch. 3

A/N: here's a continuation of the pain lol hopefully next update will come quicker and I hope you all enjoy! Be warned here and the series as a whole is pretty heavy emotionally, so heed all warnings and put yourself first! Also as usual shoutout to my lovely beta reader @rapline-heaux who read this forever ago lol ily

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Yandere! Mafia! BTS x Reader

Words: 5.0k

Warnings: crime, sensory flashbacks, trauma, unhealthy relationships, yandere behavior, pining, violence, past abuse, past neglect/academic neglect, talk of stitches, wound description, panic attack, acrylic nail slips on a keyboard but doesn't break, brief suicidal thought, lip biting until it bleeds, abandonment by male parental guardian, lots of crying

Silence threaded into the air, making it that much harder to breathe as Jungkook’s hands limply slid from you and back to his sides. The bubble of ignorance you shrouded each other in, now effectively popped as the world was de-muffled as your hands were now clasped in front of you. Tears welled in the back of your eyes, stinging more than usual, and no matter how much you blinked to keep them at bay they just came back. Nothing could shroud the horror that was your reality. 

It’s funny, really, you remember learning about how to create a safe space for your patients in college. You learned how important it was for children to feel safe in development. You studied all the reasons safety was so vital to survival, and yet, you never once felt safe growing up. It was only in this moment you realized you had found your safe place. 

It was only as you watched the weekly dinners, cramming sessions, and mutually intoxicated affection go up in smoke that you realized you had just lost it. Everything you never thought you could have was in flames, and one would think you would be used to the feeling of your life on fire by now, but your throat still burned with the agony of it all, no matter how familiar the taste was on your tongue. 

Hurt flooded your eyes along with tears that Jungkook wanted nothing more than to gently brush away. But he knew shouldn’t, and now more than ever, he couldn’t. He didn’t know how you knew what it meant to be the head of Bangtan, and it was so hard for him to care as your fear and sorrow burnt a hole in his heart in the very space he kept the friendship you both shared. The gaping wound was only furthered by how much it took over his being. You both cared about each other much, much, more than you both let on to one another properly, and it’s only now he’s regretting that with his entire being. 

Finally, he couldn’t bear to look at you anymore, not when he was part of the reason you were looking at him like that. He looked at the beaten faux hardwood of your apartment and could feel an ache when he noticed the scratch from when he helped rearrange your living room furniture. Truly, he’d give anything to go back to that day, or even to when he got here so he could turn off the TV and delay the inevitable. 

He didn’t even get a chance to try and pretend there was no reason to be scared. He wanted so badly to pretend he was a sugar baby who has no idea who he was dating, but he just couldn’t. You both have lied to each other enough to last a lifetime, and he knew it was too late. What you both had has already slipped through his fingers before he even had a chance to try and catch it.

You exhaled a shaky breath, and he looked at you again. There was not even a semblance of hope on his face, and it made the part of you he revived die all over again, “...should probably go, huh?” Your voice was too mangled for Jungkook to hear the first part of what you said, but it certainly didn’t take a genius to figure it out. 

Your form grew blurry as tears clouded his vision, preventing him from committing your feature to his memory properly before it was too late, “You’re right.” He settled solemnly.

Neither yours nor his tears were helped when you each noticed the other was crying. You wanted so badly to be angry at him for lying to you, but you weren’t nearly that much of a hypocrite. You both used the other as an escape from the ugliness of reality. Around Jungkook you were nothing but his friend and vice versa. It was a sweet escape, a nice vacation, but certainly nothing more than that, not anymore. 

You had to figure out if you should disappear or if you could survive with simply moving out of the building. You had phone calls to old contacts to make, you had a million and one things to figure out, a million and one pieces to move and yet you threw your arms around the man in front of you. 

Jungkook wasted no time in holding you to him with an intensity you’d never felt before. No one had ever wanted to keep you this badly, and you didn’t know what to do other than ball your fists around his shirt and silently cry into his shoulder. Your arms tightened around his neck as you counted down the mere minutes before he also figured out who you were. You knew he would leave you, replay each moment leading up to this, and figure out who you were talking to. You just didn’t know what he would do with that information. You didn’t even know for sure how much it meant to him, but it was so hard to focus when his body shook against yours with a silent sob that you echoed with ease. Maybe, just maybe, he'd be gracious enough to look the other way for just a little bit so you could touch the bedroom wall you both shared and pretend it wasn’t there tonight.

You don’t know how long you stayed wrapped up in each other’s arms, soaking in the finality of the embrace, bones heavy with melancholy. You only remembered the look you gave one another, filled to the brim with tears, longing, and an insincere hatred of everything beyond the four walls of your apartment. Slowly, you leaned up and pressed a quivering kiss to his cheek. 

A harsh breath left Jungkook and you could feel his tears on your lips when you pulled away, “Close your eyes.” He pleaded, voice barely above a whisper, “I don’t want you to see me leave you.” The plea for him to not leave was on the tip of your tongue, but you choked it down with another cry.

You nodded, and he granted you one last smile before you let your wet lashes touch each other. Your world was shrouded in darkness and part of you knew it would remain this way long after you opened them to an empty apartment. Still, you squeezed your eyes shut, not too keen on seeing Jungkook leave you either. You swallowed back a cry when he pressed a gentle kiss to the corner of your lips as you counted the steps he took to your door. Your body quaked when you could feel him giving you one final look. Your lips struggled to give him one more smile, and then the door closed. 

Your knees hit the floor with no one there to catch you anymore. The shock waves slid up your thigh as you cried into your hands, wondering how many people were going to leave you before you stopped letting them in.

—

“Let go of me, please,” It was the first time you had heard your father say please, and it was one of the last things you would hear him say. Byungyeol looked at you, eyes filled with a mix of pity and sorrow that you couldn’t decipher if it was for you or the empire that lay in ashes. Regardless, it was an order and you weren’t raised to disobey, so you finally relented and released his torso from your arms with a trembling lip and a river that flowed freely from your eyes. The last time you cried in front of him like this had been when your age was in the single digits, but he didn’t patronize you this time– he no longer had any reason to. 

“I can’t… You can’t… Please, stay with me.” You begged, very becoming of the heir to nothing as you clung to the last person who could prove you were even alive before today, “I’m so scared of being alone-” You sobbed into your hands as you both sat in a car outside of a restaurant owned by a family friend. You had nothing but a backpack with cash and two days worth of clothing, but your biggest fear was leaving this car. 

“Daughter.” His voice commanded, and you straightened up. You looked at him, eyes bleary and wide, still a puppet waiting for orders. He regarded you with a sharp glare, “We do not show fear.” His tone was finite, it alway was. He always spoke in simple commands, because even now, he didn’t expect you to say anything in response.

However, you sniffled, “I am scared.” You admitted, the closest you’d gotten to defiance in over a decade, “I can’t do this alone.” 

“And yet, you will.” His voice was the same amount of cold it had always been, but it burned you nonetheless, “You must.” Something in his voice tapered off that made you look at him a little closer. He looked so… old. You could see the years in his eyes and in the deep rivets that framed his frown, and it made something in your chest twist. 

“Should’ve left me with them, huh?” You asked, and he looked at you with confusion, “Should’ve never taken me in, I bet?” You tried to ask again, but he couldn’t understand you. It was often hard to understand if you were asking if that’s how he felt or if you were admitting that’s how you felt. You were never taught how to make it clear, after all. No one ever cared for your words. 

Instead of prying or correcting you, he shook his head. His hand on your head quieted you. “I love you,” He whispered, kissing the top of your head, and the notion made your body freeze. The feeling was foreign, and the action was something that was usually reserved for holidays, “I rarely ever say it, but know that I do, my daughter,” He said softly, but he opened your door all the same, not wanting to entertain this goodbye for any longer, “We will see each other again, I promise, give me three years and we’ll be together again, a normal family.” 

—

You knew now it had all been nothing but a lie to get you out of the car so he could watch you grow smaller and smaller in the rearview mirror until you dissolved into nothing but a memory. You didn't think your father was even really capable of love in the first place. You’d give anything at the moment to be that cold, but you could certainly fake it. You let in a shaky breath as you looked to your fingertips, your ring one brushing along the scratch on the floor you were not looking forward to letting your security deposit go to. Brushing away the tears away from the streaks that have undoubtedly dried on already, you took one last moment to be upset, to be human, before you stood to pick up your phone. 

The line only rang once before it clicked, “Thank you for calling The Rose Palace, how can I help you?” A sweet feminine voice hardly touched with the age she was filled your ears.

“Eunhwa?” You breathed, wanting more than anything to feel her maternal embrace but settling for the concern in her voice.

“Y/n? Is everything okay?” Your eyes fluttered closed when your one last tie to your previous life spoke.

“No.” Your answer was far too honest, but you grew so sick of lying today, “I, uh, need you to tell me how fucked I am.” You sniffled, pressing your eyes shut so you would stop looking at that damn scratch on the floor.

—

Jungkook was thankful when he found his apartment empty as he slid his back down the door, slumping against it on the floor defeatedly. His head hung low as he rested his arms on his knees. He shook his head, wanting more than anything to wake up from this nightmare already. 

Every moment with you this morning circled in his mind like a broken record. It was torturous, but it was all he could do to face the reality of the situation. If he couldn’t keep you in his life, he had to at least figure out why. Had Bangtan done something to hurt you? Or had they hurt your family somehow? Did you even have any family for them to hurt? Fuck, where did it all go wrong?

He got himself stuck in this loop of questioning for an indeterminate amount of time as he ran through every millisecond of his time with you today. Every time he circled back, he always got stuck on that phone call. That phone call was the catalyst of the ruin he was in the throes of right now and something about it just… didn’t sit right with him. How often did coworkers call you for it to make sense? Sure, you could’ve lied, he’d hardly be in a place to judge, but then who else could it have been? 

Suddenly keeping as much of yourselves private from each other felt like a mistake. Now that the people you both became in the presence of one another have effectively died, he’s left with nothing to do but cling to the you he never got to know. It’s an addiction, really. He should just be mourning the civillian distraction of his real life, but he knew you were so much more than a distraction, it’s just the first time he’s really feeling it. He couldn’t let you go, and he refused to even if he had the ability. He needed to figure out why it all went up in flames before he even considered mourning. 

—

“I won’t lie to you, darling, but I will ask, do you want the good news or bad news first?” Eunhwa finally spoke after listening intently to your panicked word vomit.

You blew out a shallow sigh, “Bad news.” It would be pretty difficult for your day to get any worse at this point. 

“Right.” Your former nanny had a nostalgic lilt to her voice before speaking, “Since the capture of your uncle and with the anniversary week in full swing, it would be pretty difficult to find someone in the underground willing to help you… in the way you may need help.” She spoke delicately, “The whispers suggest Bangtan isn’t going to stop with your uncle, and the whereabouts of your father and even you are… well, high ticket items, if you understand what I mean.” 

“Yeah.” You struggled out. You knew all too well what she meant. In a world where the most important currency is power, almost anything was for sale in the Underworld’s market, especially information. You knew firsthand there were few things people wouldn’t do to get in the good graces of the syndicate in power, and you were more thankful than ever that the only active tie to your life before wouldn’t sell you out. Not that she would ever need to. Eunhwa was and always has been a well-respected figure in the underground, and she’s mastered the rare skill of neutrality while maintaining respect. 

“And unless you have your father’s whereabouts to offer, it wouldn’t be wise to voluntarily come forward.” Or else they’d kill you on the spot. She spared you the detail, but you understood what she meant, “Good news is, after all of the mayhem of anniversary week cools down in a few weeks, we’d most likely be able to find someone to help.” Her weak attempt at trying to sound joyful was comforting regardless of how not effective it was on you, “Plus, Jungkook may not even add two and two together before then. I doubt he would be too keen on putting his best friend to death.” 

“Except I’m no longer his best friend.” Your voice cracked with your heart, and you couldn't help that pitiful laugh that left you at how childish you sounded, “So I’m not sure if that would help me.” 

Eunhwa sighs, and you can hear the pity in it. It should make you sick, but this was your last human connection in your personal life, so any care towards you was welcome right now, “Feelings don’t just go away the moment they should, you know that.” She softly chided, “We’ve all loved people for longer than we should’ve, and that might be the fact of life that’ll buy you the time you need.” 

You hummed, not able to say much as her words soaked into your wet cheeks. You loved your father for much longer than you cared to and with Jungkook… Well, the pain would be one you were sure you’d feel for ages.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.” She said, her voice going up an octave now that the logistics were out of the way, “Right now, just keep your head down and live your life like normal, okay?” 

You hummed again, defeated, “What if I just packed a bag and left?” You mused, looking out the window. You knew why that wasn’t an option. There was no such thing as leaving the underground, especially not on your own. Not with the trail of bodies you’d have to leave behind. All it took was one call, and it would shatter you completely. How would you pay for anything? You were only given enough of a payout for school, everything else was given up. You’d be caught before you even made it to the airport or snuck onto a ship.

“You know better.” Eunhwa breathed, “You would be calling even more attention to yourself, and that would piss Jungkook off and tip him off to who you are at the same time.” You nodded. She always had a point. The fact was that Jungkook didn’t yet know who you were, but you feared it was only a matter of time, “I’ll call you when it’s time.” Was all she said before the line clicked. You almost laughed at the fact that before Jungkook, you were convinced your interactions with Eunhwa was the highest form of affection. Not that she didn’t care about you, it’s just the world she knew was one of keeping those she could love at an arm’s length. It was safest that way, and no one, not even you, was worth jeopardizing her safety. You couldn’t blame her for that, and you could only hope Jungkook would feel the same if he did find out about who you were. 

Even more, you hoped you were long gone before the day came.

—

“I hear you, Sohee, I do, but you cannot just punch at full force everytime you get upset.” You looked at the 16-year-old as you tossed her ice, which she caught with ease and a pout in your direction. Kang Sohee was someone you’d consider a regular in your office. She was a bright student with poor emotional regulation– like most high school students already had– add that to the pressure of being in the top percentile in the nation, meant she was routinely in for her ibuprofen or a pack of ice. 

“Would you rather I hit people?” She challenged but shrank when you gave her an exasperated look as you sat at your desk to type up the incident.

“Raise the bar, kid.” You sighed, “I’d rather you take those deep breaths we’ve rehearsed or punch a pillow or a folded hoodie like we’ve also rehearsed.” You gave her a pointed look, “I don’t want you to break your hand or split your knuckles to the point of needing stitches.” She winced at the thought and you nodded, “Exactly, it would be gruesome and only make you more upset in the end.”

She sighed, nodding, “It’s just…” She trailed off, and you nodded empathetically even though you had no idea what going to high school was like, from what you could tell it was no different than any other cliquey group with a hierarchy. There was significantly less bloodshed, which you were thankful for. 

“I know.” You sighed, “Exams are coming, and emotions are running high.” She nodded at this, “And I’m glad you’re allowing yourself to feel those emotions, I just want you to express them in a way that doesn’t get you or anyone else hurt.” 

She nodded once again, but snorted, “Okay, school counselor.” You sent her another glare as you paused your typing, making her smile. 

Even though you rolled your eyes, you were just glad she was feeling better. These kids had a million different stressors that landed them in your office and led you to need to provide some kind of emotional support. You never figured yourself as good with children, but the students liked you well enough, so you figured you were doing something right. Maybe all that therapy you did during college came in handy, just not in the way your therapist might have thought. 

“You have any significant others, Nurse L/n?” Sohee asked, making your typing cease. 

Your eyes bulged as you blinked at her, “Now how did we get here?” You asked, making her giggle. Truthfully, you should’ve been used it by now. These kids rarely had any sense of decorum or minding intrusive questions.

“So no?” She tittered, chipping at your flimsy dignity a bit. 

You snorted, “How mean, but no, Ms. Nosey, I am not… involved with anyone.” Jungkook’s face flashed in your mind for a reason you couldn’t pinpoint nor wanted to entertain. Especially not now. He was a friend and nothing more. Keyword: was.

Sohee thought for a moment before speaking again, a true rarity for her, “Well, Mr. Kang totally has a crush on you.” She blurted, and your fingers tripped along the keys, making your nail sink in the space between two of them.

“Sohee!” You gasped, erasing the series of semicolons that populated the page, “Wh- I-” You took a moment to breathe, “Mr. Kang does not-”

“Well, thanks for the icepack!” She called as she slipped out the door, leaving you with your mouth agape, “Oh, hi Mr. Kang!” She sang loudly, making your chest seize. 

In walked Changhyun Kang, the history department head and advanced history teacher with a smile on his almost unnervingly handsome face. Living in the city on your own as you navigated adulthood came with many culture shocks, but one of them were how pretty some of the people you came across, Changhyun being one of them. He was nice though, because of course he was, and he came in every day to steal some ice for his mid-day coffee. He could very well go to the cafeteria for some, but your office was closer– barely. Regardless, you were in no state to pry into why he insisted on coming to your office. Jungkook had done his best to give you a rundown on how to talk to your fellow coworkers, but you elected to only use that advice when absolutely necessary. Now you couldn’t help but wonder how he even knew to coach you on that. 

Changhyun’s eyes darted to the door, giving you a questioning brow, “Sohee is awfully chipper today.” He observed, “Especially for a Monday.” He chuckled. You never understood the fixation with announcing the days of the week among your coworkers, but you played along nonetheless. Right now, it just served as a reminder that you had a mere two days before anniversary week would reach its crescendo. 

You sighed, “That she is.” You simply left it at that before changing the subject, “Thank you for reminding me it is nearly my lunch time.” You chuckled, continuing to type up the report. 

He nodded, thinking for a moment, “Are you ever able to take your lunch early?” He asked curiously, before moving to get some ice.

You didn’t look up from your screen as you spoke, “Well, sure, I guess I just keep my usual time for the sake of routine.” You responded thoughtlessly. 

“I see.” He spoke and the typing off your keyboard suddenly sounded way too loud. 

You gulped, not sure how to fill the sudden awkward tension, “Why?” You asked, insistent on looking at your computer still. 

“W-Well, I was just thinking maybe we could have lunch tomorrow or something?” He rushed out, and you paused, blinking for a moment. The urge to overthink the invitation was strong, especially since you weren’t sure how long you were even going to be here with everything else in your life going on. However, that was all the more reason it didn’t matter. Plus, who’s to say he was intending anything other than friendship. Changhyun was a good-looking guy, so it wouldn’t make much sense for him to be so bashful when asking for a date– not that you would even think to count an in-work lunch as a date in the first place. Obviously you were overthinking the situation anyways and for a bit too long as he continued, “I mean I bring my lunch, and you bring yours, and I come in here anyways, so we could just eat in here? –But if you prefer not–”

“Sure.” You turned to smile at him, “I could use the company.” You did your best to brighten your smile, and he returned it tenfold, “Maybe then the students will stop asking me if I have friends.” You tried to joke lightly, and surely Jungkook would be proud of you as Changhyun let out a hearty laugh. 

“Same here.” He chuckled, but it did little to simmer the sting of Jungkook on your mind. Just before your coworker could notice your smile fall, you phone started vibrating. You looked down at it with a frown, “Well, I’ll let you get that. See you!” He gave a polite wave that you mirrored just as Jungkook told you to do. 

Changhyun was kind enough to close your office door, which you were thankful for as you picked up the phone, too nervous to check the caller ID, “Hello?” 

“Was it Byungjoo?” Your blood ran cold as Jungkook’s voice sliced through the receiver. 

You’d seldom heard him sound like this before, but you can hardly register his tone when the name he uttered slices through your skin. 

“Wh-What are you–” You tried to say something, but Jungkook couldn’t bear to hear you try to lie anymore. 

“Who you saw at the fight. It was Byungjoo, wasn’t it?” He demanded, but something about his voice sounded… off. Like the way it would sound during finals week when he’d join your marathon studying. Has he… been up all night? Or longer? It’s Monday now and you both ended things Saturday morning. 

Suddenly, Byungjoo fades from your mind and you’re just a friend again, “Jungkook, have you… slept?” You asked, and flinched at the sound of his sharp exhale, letting it sink in that he’d no longer be your solace from your past. 

“Answer my question.” He demanded, but you pressed your lips together. You can’t answer his question, so that left you with one choice.

“I don’t know who–”

“Aren’t we done lying to each other?” He snapped, making your eyes widen, “Here, I’ll go first: I’ve watched every fucking frame of the crowd footage of the fight and cross-referenced them with every teacher in the goddamn city, and the only one’s that were the only ones that were in that footage for even a second hadn’t called out of work that day.” 

It was like the air knocked out of you. Why? How? It didn’t make sense. What the fuck did Jungkook do for work? Is Namjoon more than just a boyfriend? The thought was too much to bear, “Please, it’s– it’s–” You had to take a semi-stabalizing breath, “Don’t do this.” You whispered. 

“I wish I didn’t need to.” He spit, “But I can’t fucking do this without you–”

“Yes, you can–” You cut him off desperately despite how much you wanted to agree. He had no choice. Neither of you did. “Well then I don’t fucking want to!” He yelled, making your throat nearly close, “Look, you don’t have to worry about Byungjoo anymore–”

“It’s not Byungjoo I’m worried about.” You spoke honestly, not wanting to hear about your uncle’s fate any further,  “It’s… not safe for me to be around you, Kook.” You admitted and it felt like pouring hot wax down your throat.

There were a few beats of agonizing silence before he spoke again, “I can make it safe for you.” 

You shook your head before sighing, “You can’t.” The crack in your voice mirrored your resolve. It would be so easy to just say the full truth, but you let your mouth close, hoping it would stau that way, “This is… it’s bigger than just you, okay?” 

“No.” He deadpanned, and you sighed,  “No, not okay. This… nothing is too big for me…” He all but promises before adding, “...not when it comes to you.” 

Your heart ached in your chest. How many times had anyone deemed you worth much beyonf what you could give them? And would anyone else do it in the future? Jungkook was all you had and how much that meant to you teared you apart as you spoke, “It’s not worth–”

“Yes, you are.” Was all he seethed before hanging up.

You were stuck there for a moment, frozen with your phone to your ear. Had you not seen the call log yourself, you could’ve convinced yourself that whole thing was just a horrible nightmare. You wished it had been. The last thing you needed was Jungkook to tear open the wounds that haven’t even begun to heal properly and incidentally signing your death certificate. Then again, maybe his tune would change once he found out who you were. You weren’t some unsullied reprieve from his life in the Underworld, and maybe once he realized that, he’d turn his back on you. He’d realize you weren’t worth much at all. Just like everyone eventually does. 

Bitterness filled your mouth and it’s only then you realized you gnawed on the skin of your lips for too long. You huffed out, opening your compact mirror to asses the damage only to find one small red sliver. You placed a small piece of tissue on the oozing blood and put on your mask for the rest of the day. 

------------------------------------------

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Masterlist

[donnieisonfire]

Dan from Law,

Phil from Media & Editing

Hey!! Welcome back yall, chap 5 of this shit show is on the roll. As usual, reblogs & likes are so so so appreciated THIS is the BRAND NEWWWW masterlist of the chapters of this fic! And, this, is the AO3 link! AO3 is updated more often as it is 10x easier to get readers and 10x quicker to upload to. Still love tumblr tho. Tags and fanfic under the cut! <3 srry this is so short, i made it @ college break and my lunch

TAGS : Dan being a hoe (not with Phil, WAIT YOU GREEDY PEOPLE...next chapter, goddamnit), Dan cringe-texting a dude, SMUUUUUUUUUUUUUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!1!1!1!2!’qnqnqnqnnq, sad danny boy, but hey, isnt every chap of this just sad danny boy?

Dan sat up reluctantly. Saturday, finally. Now Dan can be incredibly irresponsible and not have as many repercussions, like, y’know, getting fired. That wouldn’t be fun. Because, then, how would he spend 10 minutes stirring a coffee by the off chance that Phil might show up?

‘Phil probably goes to costa everyday, Dan, he’s better than you, he doesn’t want a man, let alone a man like you.’

His mind would stop, all since fucking last night. He needs all memories of last night gone, he needs a shower, to delete Grindr and delete Jack’s number. He needs Phil.

He grabs his phone, as his phone was closer than his puny bathroom (by a few steps..), and goes to the phone app, sending a ‘Thanks’ to Jack before deleting and blocking his number. He goes to Grindr, trying to hold down on the app to delete it, but accidentally pressing on the icon. Fat thumbed bitch.

His eyes, by pure body-autopilot, scan the screen.

‘P :D’

A profile, named with Phil’s initial, had ‘tapped him’, which is the Grindr equivalent of poking on facebook. Grindr, at this point, was basically facebook for horny gay men.

He had to indulge, just a bit, let his mind hope, spur, that maybe, just maybe, that was Phil. His Phil, the Phil he’s fisted his dick over so hard his world stopped momentarily, the Phil who’s name he almost moaned out as he got dick from a hookup he used to *forget* about Phil. Maybe he had a chance.

He pressed on the profile. The photos are all faceless, with a photo of a dog, presumably his. (Aren’t dog pics just the queer equivalent of a straight dude holding up a fish on a tinder?)

Great, anonymous bastard.

The profile says ‘Relationships, Chat’ under his photo, next to ‘Vers Top’. Great, if this was Phil, he didn’t even want to fuck. If this was Phil, then he wanted Dan and Dan’s biggest fear — commitment.

Still, a top though.

Dan scrolls to his bio, scrolling past the basic information.

‘Hi :D If you’re interested (or i am!) please be able to hold up a conversation. Down for a coffee anytime’

Simple bio. Pleb.

Underneath the bio was ‘HIV: Negative, Last tested October’, perfecto. ‘Meet at? Coffee shop, my house, your house’

Again, if this was Phil, he’d already ticked one of those off, and Phil had already asked him out for the coffee.

The fire emoji was red hot, showing that Dan’d been tapped by the profile, but he (and his fight or flight response) already knew that. There was a little red circle next to the ‘Chat’ sensor.

Dan reluctantly presses it, mentally preparing himself for it *not* to be Phil (which was very likely) and for it just to be a simple ‘Hi’ from a stranger with a ‘P’ name.

‘Hey, Dan from Law :) Fancy seeing you here 🐗'

1st of all, Dan’s brain had now — officially — short circuited. 2nd of all, once he had returned to Earth, he wondered what the fuck was up with the warthog emoji.

Dan’s fingers moved before his brain did, ‘fancy seeing you here to you too 🦁' he typed.

Dan’s brain was focused on the fact his name on this damn app was fucking DownToFuck. Phil was on this app looking for a relationship, and Dan was here looking for a dick poked up him. Well, hopefully more than poked.

Typical. Fucking typical.

[endereies]

FUCK IT - MATT STURNIOLO - PART 6

Spotify Playlist:

Pairing: Matt x Oc

Contains: Growing up with parents who make her feel isolated, what happens when she meets Matt. A person who introduces her to new people, new experiences and new feelings.

Requested?: no

Author's notes: I'm finally finished with school for the break so I should be updating a little quicker over the next 2 weeks.

Word Count: 3265

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

“Is this something we are meant to do?”

“Fuck it.”

“Okay, so, we submit this on Monday and we still have four scenes to analyse and then two exam questions to go through.” Matt mumbles as he places his back down next to me in the library and unsheathes a load of sheets, more are crumpled than ones that aren’t. The amount of them excelling the more meetings we had after school.

“We can get that done in a weekend, right?” My voice tainted with uncertainty. I had got to the library fifteen minutes before him so all my work was already displayed out in front of me with scribbles of different coloured pen one each of them.

“right.”

We were a little bit behind in our project since the majority of our meetups end in us just talking about random things or playing music with our home equipment. I would borrow Chris’s old guitars which was covered in a metallic red with black strings. The picks he bought matched perfectly dividing the red and black shades with lines of silver. Matt’s drumkit was similar to the school’s own designs yet on the base drum was the name ‘sturniolo’ in a faded midnight blue. Each drum fastened with the same blue wrapped around them. He had custom drum sticks too, fading from the original beige wood to a dyed neon-blue. The vibrancy capturing my attention every time, I bet he knew that to with the amount he’d smirk at me when he noticed me staring.

It's why we planned on staying in the library to finish the project, hopefully none of us get distracted. That’s if Matt stopped tapping his pen on the table.

“Matt.” My tone is stern as I frown still facing the pages of my book. He was too distracted in his ‘mini-concert’ that I grabbed his wrist firmly, which made his pen fall out his hand and onto the wooden desk below him.

He stammers a little as I glare at him and raise an eyebrow at him.

“The fuck did I do?”

“If you keep tapping that fucking pen on the desk, I will snap it in half.” I hold eye contact until I’m finished speaking and I let go of his wrist, watching his circulation fade back.

“And yet, you can do it all the time.” He smirks at me again and I retort by scoffing.

“When I’m in class and have nothing to do…you haven’t written anything for 10 minutes.”

“Normally by now we are playing music at our houses, this is a long ass day and this is only making it longer.” A sigh escapes my lips and I drop my pen, lean back for a moment and fold my arms loosely across my chest.

“Okay. If you work with me until six, I’ll buy you lunch all of next week.”

“Ain’t no way, you aren’t serious.”

“And you can get whatever you wish, no matter the cost, doesn’t even have to the food on campus.” I interject him by cutting him off and leaning closer over the table.

“Fine. Deal.” He holds out his hand in front of me and I look up at him with a blank expression.

“What are we, in 6th grade? I’m not shaking your hand.” I roll my eyes to him to just pick up my pen and start writing again.

“Damn, you’re no fun.”

“No…I just happened to hit puberty.” I click my tongue inside my mouth

I feel his glare on me before he continues to work on the papers in front of him. I take out my small white case and take out one of my headphones and pick up my phone to play some music in to them. I don’t bother checking what playlist I click on and immediately blast heavy dubstep into my ears, loud enough to make Matt pay attention to me again and giggle when I jump from the volume. I spam the volume control and turn it down rapidly until I can tolerate it. Matt immediately looks away from me, trying not to laugh when I hold my gaze on him for a few seconds.

-

“Is it nearly six, Alyia. My hand is fucking cramping up.” Matt whines for the fourth time in ten minutes.

“Like I said two minutes ago, no. Besides you have yet to finish of that question and it’s been nearly thirty minutes.”

“I don’t understand how you’ve been writing for that long without taking a break.”

“I want to get this finished; I don’t exactly want all this effort to go down the drain. I’ve stayed up too many nights for this.”

“Really…?” His voice filled with concern as his smirk and joke-filled demeanour faded quickly.

“What.”

“I would’ve done more of you asked me to…you didn’t have to stay up for any of it.” I interject him before he can continue

“Matt. I have more time than you, the project’s getting done. Does it really matter?” I look up to him, dropping my pen for the first time in a while.

“Of course it matters, you need sleep Alyia.”

“I also need this project done.” He sighs and rolls his eyes at me, returning the glares I’ve been giving him all night.

“Promise me you’ll relax after the project is due and let me finish off the last two questions.”

“You really like your promises, huh?” My page fills the silence as it crumples, getting caught on itself, making me purse my lips as I try to fix it before continuing to write.

“Alyia.” He grabs the pen out my hand and places it far from my reach and I narrow my eyes at him again. “I mean that, let me handle the rest of it and get some rest. Please.” I raise my eyebrow at him.

“I’ll sleep appropriately, fine, but I’m writing the last question. You can happily take the other one if you so desire.”

“Thank you. I’m not having your sleep decrease because you don’t want to ask for help.” His words make me raise my voice at him.

“What do you mean by that.”

“I don’t recall me stuttering. You have been sacrificing your sleep because you didn’t want to ask me to do a little more work.” He leans in to me, as if he is mocking me and I scoff.

“Not true.” My words mumble, subconsciously knowing he is right.

“Whatever, look it has gone six now, c’mon. We can work on this later on.” He shuffles papers together and stuffs them into his bag, lacking organisation which makes me stare at his back with a slightly shocked expression.

I follow his actions, however, and with a heavy sigh I put all my work in a pile, putting the sheets in between two books to keep them straight.

“You want to hang out later or something?” He slings his backpack over his shoulder and looks back at me.

“Hang out, me and you somewhere. I would recommend my place but Nick is there with Chris and Madi.”

“I know a place we could go if you want? I haven’t been there in a while so I don’t know how overgrown it is.”

“Wait wait. Did you say overgrown, what kind of fucking place is this.” Matt waits for me to catch-up to him and I walk slightly faster so he doesn’t have to wait so long.

“Amery Grove? There is a line of old houses at the back that people kind of forgot about, maybe like twenty years ago? I’m not sure.” Matt gaze falls to me as I start to ramble, simply listening to my words.

“Well, anyway, about two years ago a few of my friends and I decided to fix a few of them up during the summer. We didn’t decorate or anything but we cleaned old furniture and threw out what we didn’t need. While it wasn’t the prettiest, we hung out there a lot.”

“So, you just went to abandoned buildings and fixed them?” He keeps walking and opens doors in front of me as I keep talking. When he does, I quickly walk through them and turn to face Matt, proceeding to talk with my hands.

“Yeah, it was fun, even if our skills were mediocre, it made for good hangouts and a few parties.”

“You go to parties?” He gives me a side eye and I roll my eyes in response.

“Not as much anymore, I went when I had more friends to talk to and less schoolwork on my back. Maybe at some point…”

-

“Cmon you are slow” I drag out my words and groan as I get more excited, wanting to jump up and down to reduce the amount of energy but instead I shake my hands around.

“Jesus Alyia, I’m just putting our bags in here, I’m not carrying all of this across the Grove.” He arranges the bags in the back seats like some real-life game of Tetris. After another minute or so he finally shuts the car door and locks it.

“Okay I’m done, let’s go.” He puts his keys back by his belt and returns to my side.

“I haven’t been here in a while, so no promises on how clean it’ll be.”

“I’m sure it’s fine.” He smiles at me briefly before focusing on walking through some reasonably tall grass.

The trail I normally use is more overgrown than what I used to walk through so as we walk, we use old trees to climb past different areas and our feet to stamp on brambles and stinging nettles. It is pitch-black outside by this point so we are using our phone’s flashlights to guide our way through the trail. Leaves hang down from nearby trees and I start to wish I brought my jacket with me.

I place my feet onto a tree stump and try to climb over a fallen branch, but when my weight switches feet, I slip on some moss and fall backwards from the stump. My phone drops from my hand and the flashlight goes into my eyes, making me close them. I place my hands back to support myself for when I hit the floor but I never do. Instead, a tight grip snakes around to the side my waist and upper back, slowly pushing my body back to stand straight.

“Woah woah, are you alright…” I open my eyes to see Matt looking down at me with concerned eyes. I can barely make it out since he dropped his phone and its flashlight instantly to catch me. His chain dangles above my face and once I stand up properly, he uses one of his hands to push his hair back, keeping the other on my waist.

“Uh huh…” I regain my focus and brush myself off and pick up our phones from the damp grass. “Thanks”

“Of course,” He takes his phone back, brushing off the debris, continuing to walk ahead of me and over the branch I just slipped on. “You need to be more careful, sweetheart.”

It’s that fucking nickname again.

-

“Here we are!” I run ahead of Matt and smile bright at the few houses on a quiet lit up street.

“Its still the same…” I smile to myself, remembering how I used to run around here.

“Yeah? I think it looks fucking awesome.” He circles around me looking at the few houses, clearly seeing a difference between the ones I fixed up and the ones I left.

“Really?”

“Really. Y’know…maybe one day we could fix one up?” I turn my head a little too quickly to face him, who was already smiling at me.

“You wanna? Like, for real?” He simply nods to me before walking off to look at one of the houses closest to us.

I run to catch up to him again and I grab his wrist to show him inside one of the houses. The inside walls occasionally spotted with carvings of names and dates, ripping through worn out wallpaper. Unfinished projects left abandoned, mostly within the kitchen. I pick up an old and now rusted hammer and spin it around in my hands, recalling the last use of it going towards a leg of an old chair that lay on its side next to it. A bittersweet smile covers my face the more I venture the house, with Matt always following right behind, dragging his fingers across old cabinets and cupboards.

“you guys did so much work in here…” He picks up old projects that remain unfinished and analyze them one by one, awe showing within his eyes. “Why did you ever stop this?”

“We stopped being as close I guess...nothing personal to one another, just different schools and points in our lives. I still have contact but no one really talks as much anymore.” I quiet my voice and sit down on one of the chairs and put down the hammer.

“None of us ever took that personally, we just drifted. Miss it all like hell though.”

Matt stays quiet for a moment, just looking at me with slight pity.

“That’s a shame, especially since nothing even happened that you could’ve changed.” The distance between us closes as I stand up again but I simply keep walking towards the bottom of the stairs before I slowly walk up them.

Matt pov:

I follow her up the stairs, stepping where she did in case any areas are weak enough to break, but once I put that focus into the decor upstairs, I stand still. The upstairs was so much nicer, covered in intact wallpaper and furniture that made it seem like someone actually lived there. More carvings were decorating the walls and less tools were on the floors. I take in more of what’s around me, admiring the hard work.

Hearing the stories about her old friends make me smile but also makes me wonder why she is more closed off to people now.

We start to wonder around the different areas that she decorated and I admire the craftsmanship and efforts they put in to it.

“We can chill up here if you want?” Alyia points to a balcony that is guarded by a wooden fence, a few old chairs are stacked up and leant against the glass door and I walk through.

“Can I ask why you took me here, not that I hate it or anything. Just…if this place reminds you of your friends, why bring me here.” Alyia’s face falters slightly and I feel bad for bringing them up.

“This place has many memories but I feel stuck whenever I come here, and I love this place. I don’t want to come back here and feel self-pity when I see those carvings on the walls.”

“I meant it by the way.”

“Meant what Matt?” I look up at her before looking over the edge and down onto the weakly lit street.

“Fixing a place up with you, could be fun.” I smile at her before looking back over the edge and laying my arms on the wooden fence, trying not to apply a lot of weight onto it.

“I have no idea if any of the lighting still works properly, a few faulty lights here and there but nothing major enough to set anything up properl-“

“So? We have already walked through here in the dark easily enough, besides we don’t have to come here only at night.”

I turn back to look inside the house but my vision is slightly impaired from looking at the street lights too long. I change my point of view and glance down to my phone to check the time.

9:24pm

“Shit, it’s kind of late, do you parents want you back at a certain time?” I message Chris and Nick an apology after seeing the copious number of texts and missed calls.

“Uhm no, I can be back whenever” She trails off and I remember the phone call she had at my place.

“Oh…is she not home again?” I receive a small nod in return.

“You can stay over if you want to?”

“No, it’s okay I have things to do anyway…” She avoids eye-contact with me but I try not to question anything

“Alright then, should we head back, I’m being attacked by Nick so much” I see her smile as I finish speaking and just stands up and starts to walk back to the stairs.

-

“Just here, okay?” I turn the wheel and look through my window for any parking on the edge of the road.

“Yeah, this is perfect, thanks again” She thanks me for the millionth time tonight.

“Kid, I’ve already said it’s okay to drive you places.” I finish parking which makes the car tilt slightly as it reaches over the curb.

“Goodnight Matt.”

“Yeah, goodnight.”

The drive back to my place was quite bleak, even when I turned aux on, none of the songs fit the mood I was in. Whatever that mood was. I just focused on the road ahead and the way the lights shone through my windshield and lit up areas in my car like a mini disco. I sigh when I hit another red light and pull the cable from my phone and I resort to the radio music. It immediately blares and I turn it down quickly to a volume quiet enough for some background audio.

I should hate you – Gracie Abrams

It was already half way through the song but I let it play none-the-less, letting the calm guitar fill the car. The quiet and soft vocals relaxed me and I was able to take a deep breath that didn’t result from frustration.

I notice the song fading out just as I pull into the road that I live on so I turn the radio off completely as to not ruin my mood, but as soon as I step inside it gets dampened anyway.

“Oh my God, Matt. Where were you!” I drop my keys into a small bowl and I instantly get bombarded by Nick’s concerned voice.

“Out.”

“Out? Is that all you have to say. You said you were revising the project until six and then you would be home. It is nearly half ten and this is the first we have heard from you!” he starts to exclaim and honestly, I can’t blame him for the way he is acting

“I went somewhere with Alyia…that’s all. I guess we lost track of time.” I mumble quietly, knowing I’m in the wrong but I’m not going to apologize for having a good time.

“I’m not saying you can’t hang out with people, just let us know, okay? It could be three am for all I care but as long as I have some form of communication. You had us worried…” Nick takes a deep breath and looks down to the floor.

“I’m sorry, I should’ve said something…Where is Chris?” I try and change the subject to lessen the amount I get yelled at.

“He’s asleep upstairs, he wanted to wait for you but he was exhausted after hockey so I refused to let him.”

I look up to Nick and give him a tight-lipped smile, feeling guilt twinge inside briefly.

“You better go have a shower or something, you’re covered in dirt, Matt.”

“Yeah, I will…sorry again.” Nick simply hugs me tight.

“It’s alright, just don’t let me stay up again.” He punches my arm lightly and we smile at each other.

© ENDEREIES 2024

@melliflws @axolotllover225 @yuhayeee @st7rnioioss @sturn-bugz @sturniolosmind @worldlxvlys @patscorner @breeloveschris @y0urm4m @bernardsbendystraws @junnniiieee07

[thomotomo]

Quackity x Male Reader pt.1

Summary: You're a French streamer who got invited to the QSMP and you just have a huge crush on Quackity, even though you wouldn't admit it.

CW: Use of Quackity's real name a few times.

A/N: Sorry I'm showing up every few months to drop you something and then I'm letting yall starve so today you get Quackity content cos I got a crush on him now lol. (And I need to feel some love cos I'm single af. Also I'm sorry I wrote this instead of sleeping lol)

You had been so excited when you received the invitation to join the server, as a language nerd you couldn't wait to hear people discuss in a multitude of languages.

You had gotten addicted to playing on the server from the first seconds and so you stayed up until very late at night.

So since you had a completely fucked up schedule the two of you were bound to hang out together a lot.

And so the two of you kept talking more and more outside streams and outside of QSMP, staying up late on discord calls, chatting and playing together.

You had gotten an invitation to the Twitchcon and while you had been hesitant to participate you had ended up accepting to be able to meet everyone.

So you asked Quackity if he was planning to come and while he hadn't planned it at first you were trying to push him to come join you and meet everyone IRL.

He had told you he didn't knew about it yet but he would keep you updated.

You were on stream one night, completely engrossed in your build when your phone shone, it was a discord notification from Alex.

You couldn't read it as you were mid-stream but you made sure to take a break to refill your desk with drink and to check it out.

As you were taking sodas out of your fridge you checked the message Quackity had sent you.

Your face immediately lit up as you read that he would come to Twitchcon Paris.

It had been very late for you but now with the excitement coursing through your veins you didnt feel like sleeping anymore.

You settled back in front of your cam, your grin a little bit wider than earlier and hopefully it wasn't noticed by anyone.

You kept playing for a couple more of hours and as soon as you ended stream you texted him to see if you could jump on a call.

The two ended up on call and you stayed up, discussing excitedly together. You were stimming a lot as you did, even though you didn't show that to him

And yeah, maybe you had developed a tiny bit of a crush on him throughout all of those months (but you wouldn't admit that to anyone).

For the next few weeks all you could think of was Twitchcon so you kind of drown yourself into your work so that time would goes on by quicker.

On the 8th of July you could barely function like a normal person, as soon as you woke up you sent a message to Alex "We're meeting today omg?!?!?!?" (yeah you clearly aren't the most subtle when you have a crush on someone).

He had texted you back the cutest picture of himself you had seen and it just felt to you that your heart was about to explode due to all the emotions you felt so early in the morning.

You prepared yourself and went to the venue, you had put on your best clothes (well best clothes for the heat).

You met up with some of the other French streamers, discussing for a good while as they were the only one present so early.

You didn't have anything planned to do until much later so you enjoyed the early hours of the convention by browsing the shops and artists' alley.

At noon you went and ate with all of the other QSMP content creators present, chatting excitedly with everyone. You were very happy to talk with them and even though you had chatted a lot in private messages it clearly wasn't the same thing now.

You had sent to Quackity the pictures all of you took together alongside the message "We're just waiting for you now."

Which he replied to with "Dw I'll be there soon!"

And you couldn't wait for him to be there.

After the meal you had the meet and greet.

You had enjoyed meeting all of your fans and right as you left the meeting area, you checked your phone and seeing a notification from Alex you couldn't help but grin, you were sure of one thing, he was here at the venue.

You had to restrain yourself from running, but if your pace was a tad faster than usual if was between you and yourself.

As you reached the backstages you could see Etoiles, Philza and Aypierre alongside Forever who was hugging Quackity.

You joined them quietly as you watch the two other guys hug each other and joke around.

You discussed with Etoiles, laughing together as you watched Forever do the "pay the server dance" to Quackity.

A few minutes later the two separated and you beamed at Alex when he turned back towards where you and the others were.

He harboured a shocked but excited face when he saw you and both of you also jumped into each other's arms, laughing together.

You couldn't help but notice that he was a bit smaller than you, which you hadn't expected but you didn't care.

The two of you immediately jumped into conversation with each other, the conversation flowing as easily as it was over computer.

Pt2

[seraphinitegames]

The Wayhaven Chronicles— Update 18/Oct/2024

A really nice smooth-going week this week!

I was working on another scene where the MC is with all of Unit Bravo, and those scenes take quite a lot of work to write, as every choice usually needs to have a variation for each love interest or best friend.

So yeah, that takes quite a bit of time to write them all out! But I always love how natural it feels when it’s done. Like, of course your love interest would have something to say specifically when the topic is about your MC’s safety! Wouldn’t make sense if they just brushed it off and didn’t worry for the MC or have an opinion, especially not as this stage of the romances.

But I was getting to the end of the scene quicker than expected and making good progress when I realised I could add in a choice set I didn’t plan, but doing that might hold me up because of all the variations in those choices.

But I REALLY wanted to add it in, hehe!

Yet, I managed to finish that choice set, and the scene, and am already a good chunk into the beginning of the next scene!

So that was incredibly motivating, hehe! :D

Though as I was going through the scene and there was a BFF variant in one of them, it made me realise that the friend specific stats in the stats screen may not need to be in there anymore. That was more to give the player an idea of who they were closest to getting for the BFF route, but now that’s decided, I may take that out to help declutter the stats screen.

Next week, it’ll be cracking on even further into this scene and hopefully getting the first variation of this branching scene I’m working on done!

Hope you all the most fabulous weekend! We’ll be offline as usual, so I'll update you again next week! <3    

[tragicallyuncreative]

hey queen. i came across the original ATEOTR today. would you say ATEOTR (tragicallyuncreative’s version) is going to sway away from that or include some similar scenes? i thought the way that the track scene was updated was sooo cool. 

if it is going to sway though, could you give us a little wrap up from the original? like…is ponyboy okay after that infection…

What a great question! Sorry for the late response, but I'll answer the best I can.

I think it's safe to say that it will sway pretty drastically from the original. Mostly just because my style and detail of writing has improved so much (thankfully) that it's kind of hard not to. For example, we just finished chapter 3 and still have no diagnosis. With the way I have the plot mapped out so far, an official diagnosis won't come until the end of next chapter and there is so much to come before then before treatment is even started, just because I'm being realistic about the diagnostic process and all that takes place prior to beginning treatment. In the original story, everything moved much quicker because I didn't include the proper steps that would occur, such as the bone marrow biopsy, spinal tap, port placement, how difficult it can be to establish care with a pediatric oncologist, etc. I also wasn't big on side plots and doing what I like to do now, which I call "sitting in the scene"- not make it a story based on checkpoints of moving from one scene to the next but rather letting things unfold naturally- lots of descriptions, inner dialogue while in a scene, dialogue between characters- there is so much more than just the bare bones plot happening.

I much prefer it that way, and I hope everyone else does too. I just didn't have the knowledge medically or the maturity to offer insight into all characters and really explore their thoughts and emotions. I didn't feel the story if that makes sense, just wrote out things quickly trying to move to the next big scene. I love to just sit and think now- I have so many headcannons and little anecdotes about my characters that will never make it into my writing but are crucial to why my characters respond to things the way they do and make them real in my head, which helps the writing come naturally.

I will be including some of the same characters from my original story such as the main oncologist, Mrs. Dunthers, Daniel, and Nathan- all who have not yet made appearances. They will be much more fleshed out, not one dimensional characters who appeared for convenience/ plot sake and hopefully not so stereotypical as they were when younger me created them. I'm really excited to explore them more and get to know them as individuals- not just as a means to advancing Pony's story.

I think it's so sweet that you are still invested in the OG story and want to know what happens because in my mind it was so poorly written and unrealistic but I'm flattered. I can certainly share a little about what was going to happen. Pony was going to be just fine after the infection, but would be admitted for several days. His treatment course was going to be long, a traditional course (which for AML, which I believe he had in the OG, is not always the stereotypical 2 years of maintenance that is the golden standard for ALL, which is what is the diagnosis is for the current story). He was certainly going to grow closer with his brothers and gang throughout the process, though there wasn't as much mending to do with he and Darry's relationship in that universe as I plan for in this one. Growing up has given me such insight and love for the character of Darrel that I didn't have before and I am really invested in his journey this time around- he's not as adept at handling everything and doesn't respond to everything as perfectly as he did in the OG- he's human! I also intend to explore a lot with Soda- I have a lot more thoughts on Pony being a somewhat unreliable narrator in the novel and hero-worshipping Soda- in reality he's no saint and has flaws just like everyone else. He and Pony have such a deep bond that it will almost be harder on him than it is on Pony and he's not always going to have the best coping mechanisms. Also, therapy. Lots of therapy. Family and individual therapy is pretty much prescribed for every pediatric cancer family, even in the 60s, and just because the Curtis's aren't a traditionally family doesn't mean they'll escape that. Pony was always going to be okay in the long run, though, coming through his ordeal with new appreciation for his life and his brothers. Nathan was always going to die, I do remember young me was adamant about that. It was kind of going to be a wakeup call/ turning point for Pony realizing how serious his illness was and it was going to scare the shit out of him and send him into a long depression for awhile until he found a note from him (like Johnny left in the novel). It was all very melodramatic and corny but 13/ 14-year-old me thought it was peak 5-star writing lol.

That's enough rambling out of me. In short, hopefully there are enough parallels from the old story for you to enjoy, but this gives me the opportunity to actually show off what I hope is real writing skills/ talent as opposed to "little-kid" writing, as I call it. I really appreciate all the love and engagement and am always happy to answer questions. Feel free to send me asks about this story, Before The Fall (my other chapter story), The Domino Effect (my one shot), or ask me about headcannons- I have so many and would love to share them!