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saetoru · 1 year ago

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✩ ‧₊˚ ✩ BURNER ACCOUNTS — GOJO SATORU.

contents. fem! reader, loser ex-boyfriend! satoru, exes to lovers, college! au, satoru making burners to watch your stories, miscommunications—satoru is not perfect but he’s trying okay?, gossip icons shoko & suguru <3, i had a silly idea and it turned into 2.6k words my bad

there’s a peculiar account watching your instagram stories—@user273582838, to be exact. you don’t think it’s a very well timed coincidence seeing as you and satoru have just broken up—so you decide to do some digging.

which of course, means enlisting the help of shoko.

“i think satoru is stalking me,” you mumble, making her pause in the middle of sipping on her energy drink—for a med student, her habits don’t seem every healthy. this is her third one of the day.

“okay,” she nods, “i wouldn’t put it past him, but what makes you say that?”

“look,” you turn your phone to face her, the blank, anonymous instagram account right there on the list of users who have viewed your story. she crinkles her brows, blinking for a moment before humming.

“that definitely seems like something he’d do,” she nods—and then, “i have an idea.”

“okay,” you brighten, nodding enthusiastically, “what’s the plan?”

“try and log in with that user.”

“shoko,” you look at her like she’s grown two heads. maybe the lack of sleep is finally getting to her—no amount of energy drinks can save her at this point. “we don’t have the password—”

“—and that, dummy,” she rolls her eyes, making you scowl at the name, “is why we click forgot my password and see the last four digits of the phone number that registered the account. if it’s satoru’s number, we’ll know.”

okay—you take it back. shoko is a genius and a full-blown brilliant mastermind that you could never hope to come close to. you’re glad you chose her to help—you’re even more glad she agreed because you would not have thought of that. this is fantastic. a fool-proof plan.

you grin wide, eyes lighting up as you gasp, “shoko! you’re so smart, that’s a great idea!”

“i know,” she grumbles, “took you long enough to notice.”

ignoring her, you quickly pull out your phone and try to log onto the account, typing user273582838 into the username box and clicking forgot my password. shoko is hovering over your shoulder, and your breath is held as you wait for the page to load and the number to pop up. within just a few seconds, the first few digits are censored with asterisks, but the last four show, and—

yeah. it’s satoru’s fucking number. just as you suspected—you and shoko scoff together at the same time, rolling your eyes.

“well,” you look at her, lips pursed in irritation—of course, satoru refuses to give you space and leave you alone after your break up (which was his fault, might you add), “what now?”

“send the verification code to his number,” she presses, “it’ll definitely spook him when he sees.”

she’s so good at what she does, you think in awe, staring at her with heart-eyes. nodding quickly, you press send code.

hopefully, that’ll give satoru the heart attack you want it to.

———

satoru stares at his screen in abject horror—who could be trying to log into his burner account? the only person who should possibly stumble across it is you, but surely you’re not closely inspecting your story viewers, are you? so then, who could be trying to log onto the instagram account of @user273582838?

“suguru,” he says in a trance, “are you trying to log onto the burner?”

“are you bringing that shit up again?” suguru grumbles, controller in hand as he pays attention to the screen, “i told you that was a stupid idea. a pathetic one too—”

“well, i didn’t want to keep waiting for you to send screenshots to see the stories—”

“you’re a fucking loser, do you know that? pathetic,” suguru reiterates. “move on.”

“no,” satoru hisses in disbelief, “why would i do that? now, was that you or not? you’re the only other person who knows the user.”

“as if i care to log onto your loser burner account,” suguru snorts, shaking his head in amusement. he beats satoru’s high score, turning to give him a sly grin as he adds, “i wasn’t removed, so i can view the stories all i want.”

“you’re a jerk, you know that?” satoru grunts, crossing his arms and pouting, “i’m having the worst heartbreak of my life, and you—”

“who’s fault is it that you’re dumped?”

satoru deflates.

okay, so he supposedly hasn’t been the best boyfriend. it’s not that satoru isn’t helplessly committed to you—he’s so sickeningly obsessed with you, it’s actually a bit unhealthy. suguru says so, at least. but satoru is…well, satoru, and he doesn’t always seem to take things as seriously as most people would hope.

evidently, that includes your relationship—though, he does insist on disagreeing on that. according to you, he doesn’t take you on dates often enough, and sometimes he flirts back with random strangers. that’s not true—he’s simply a bit of a tease and enjoys it when you’re jealous, but he doesn’t flirt back. that’s outrageous. you’ve even claimed he’s mean about it and makes a joke out of it all—satoru would never be mean on purpose; he only teases because the banter is always endearing.

but, unfortunately, you don’t seem to see it the way he does, and now he’s woefully single and cold and alone in bed. no cuddles, no goodnight kisses, and no head scratches.

life is so cruel sometimes.

“suguru,” he says in distress, “i’m serious. someone’s trying to hack my burner—who could it be?”

“hmm, i don’t know…maybe the one and only person who would notice the account in the first place?”

“but why try and log in if the password is unknown?”

suguru looks at satoru like he’s stupid—apparently, he is because he’s not putting two and two together.

“maybe because sending a verification code shows the last four digits of the registered phone number? you’ve probably been caught, you idiot.”

satoru pales at that—he didn’t think about that. it slipped his mind completely. fuck, he should’ve used a burner email instead. he stares down at his phone numbly—yeah, he thinks, he’s screwed.

———

after two days of continuous log in attempts into satoru’s burner account—it’s only just to spook him extra—you finally decide to confront him.

we need to talk. is all you send him.

the three bubbles appear on his end multiple times before disappearing—you and shoko get a good cackle out of that and laugh at him for a bit before he finally answers.

miss me already? knew it ;)

wow. what a dickhead.

so, because you can be equally as much of a prick, you send him a screenshot of his phone number on the log in page followed by a message that says: no. it’s so you can explain this.

the three dots show up again for a few minutes before he finally responds with: okay. you caught me. when do you wanna meet?

well, that was easy. satoru is the type to not go down without a fight no matter how cornered he is—he’s stubborn and annoying like that. you turn to shoko for help.

“meet him now,” shoko crosses her arms, “don’t give him time to come up with some ridiculous excuse.”

“what excuse could he possibly come up with?” you snort, “that he was possessed and the evil spirit in his mind made him stalk his ex like a loser?”

“true,” she concedes, taking a sip from her energy drink—seriously, how many of these does this girl drink in a day? “i just want to know what happens,” she shrugs, “so do it now.”

of course, as on brand as ever, shoko is merely in it for the drama. you roll your eyes before sighing and nodding.

“okay,” you huff.

meet me at my place. now.

on my way, he sends back almost instantly.

“he’s probably just excited to see you,” shoko snorts, “like the loser he is.”

“you’re probably right,” you purse your lips in exasperation. in all your time knowing him, you’ve definitely realized that satoru is definitely…well, a case.

———

“hey,” shoko whispers to suguru through the phone, walking out your door so you can prepare to confront satoru. “did you know satoru’s been stalking—”

“—on a burner account? yeah, i know.”

okay, she frowns to herself, that was no fun at all. suguru is already aware of the drama. but that’s no matter—surely, he can’t possibly already know that satoru has been invited over to be scolded.

“yeah, well,” she says smugly, “did you know he’s actually on his way over to—”

“—get yelled at? yeah, i’m aware. he called me panicked. what a fucking loser.”

“okay, well since you’re up to speed,” shoko grumbles bitterly, rolling her eyes. she was supposed to be the knight in shining armor with the juicy updates—but evidently, satoru is pathetic enough to already cry to suguru about his dilemma. “wanna meet up and get sushi nearby? i bet they’ll get back together in twenty minutes.”

“i bet ten. loser pays for the food?”

“you’ve got yourself a deal.”

———

satoru sits on your couch in shame, bouncing his leg nervously as you sit on the opposite end with your arms crossed and brow raised.

it’s quiet. he doesn’t have the guts to say anything, waiting for you to break the silence. maybe you’re not that mad.

“so,” you start, “it’s nice to finally meet you, user273582838.”

he rubs his neck awkwardly, chuckling through his nerves as he mumbles, “oh, hey there! it’s a small world, huh?”

“satoru.”

yeah, never mind. you seem pretty mad.

“okay, look,” he begins, “you can’t blame me. you dumped me, your sweet, loving, and unsuspecting boyfriend out of nowhere! i was heartbroken and shattered—and then you didn’t even give me a chance to work it out! i was not in the right headspace to make wise decisions so…so this is basically not my fault.”

that doesn’t seem to help his case—in fact, it only makes it worse.

“so it’s my fault?”

“wha—no!” he says quickly, “no, definitely not.”

you sigh, rubbing your forehead in defeat as you mumble, “satoru, we are broken up for a reason. you can’t overstep and—”

“it’s a pretty stupid reason,” he grumbles under his breath, crossing his arms and frowning. you glare at him from the side as you scoff in disbelief.

“of course,” you chuckle dryly, “of course you would say that. nothing is ever serious enough to you—”

“it’s pretty fucking serious to me,” he spits, shooting you a look that tells you he’s just as shocked as you, “that’s obviously why i’m the one who’s still not moved on as easily as you. how seriously did you really take it?”

“that’s not fair,” you grit, “you made it abundantly clear you didn’t care enough, so why should i—”

“i fucking cared a shit ton,” he says incredulously, “that’s bullshit, and you know it—”

“don’t curse at me, satoru—”

“well, don’t accuse me of not caring when i clearly—”

“oh, yeah cause you cared so much when you were laughing with that waitress as she hit on you,” you seethe, throwing a pillow from your couch at him. he can catch it easily—you know this for sure, but he lets it hit him out of what you’re sure is at least a little consideration to your feelings.

“i wasn’t laughing because i enjoyed it,” he crinkles his brows as if you’ve said the most ridiculous thing ever, “it was just funny because she was trying so hard. and you looked all cute when you got mad.”

“what kind of boyfriend enjoys watching his girlfriend get mad—”

“the kind of boyfriend who thinks his girlfriend is adorable when she’s mad—”

“yeah, well your idea of a date is going to the mall with shoko and suguru. what kind of date is that—”

“okay, i was a bit clueless sometimes, but you could’ve said something instead of just dumping me like i was some random guy in your dm’s—”

“you need to grow the fuck up, satoru—”

“now look at who's cursing!”

it’s silent—both you and him have your arms crossed and lips curled into scowls as you both glare at each other. you’re stubbornly convinced satoru doesn’t care as much as you do, and he’s firmly committed to the idea that you’re twisting him into some douche who doesn’t give two shits.

it’s quiet like that for a bit before he deflates and slumps against the couch, rubbing his face as he groans.

“look,” he starts, “i’m sorry. i never meant to make it seem like i enjoy attention from other girls, and i didn’t realize you wanted more dates. i’d have done things differently if you told me how you felt.”

he sounds sincere. and he’s looking at you with those eyes of his—god, those stupid little eyes that are so wide and blue and deep and full of love. even after that whole argument, satoru is clearly as painfully in love as ever.

you sigh before playing with a loose thread on your sweatpants.

“i…guess i could’ve talked it out first. i probably shouldn’t have skipped straight to breaking up,” you mutter, not meeting his eyes.

satoru stares glumly at you from the corner of his eyes before he adds bitterly, “you don’t seem to miss me. not even a little.”

“toru,” you pinch your nose, “of course i miss you. i was not gonna be mopey on instagram, though—”

“doesn’t seem like it,” he huffs. he’s a bit hurt—you can tell because he’s not meeting your eyes, and he’s not got that playful little upward curl of his lips.

you’re a bit weak, you realize—but you suppose you always have been for satoru, because you’re shuffling to his end of the couch and poking his cheek gently.

“i miss you tons, y’know,” you murmur—you smile a little at his pout before adding, “i want more dates this time around. and stop letting girls get away with being shameless flirts.”

he finally meets your eyes—it’s like a child on christmas, the way his face lights up and his lips curl into an excited grin.

“you mean i get to be your boyfriend again?”

it’s cute—the way he asks to be your boyfriend and not if you’ll be his girlfriend. maybe you’ve been a bit unfair, maybe satoru has always cared deeply in his dumb little clueless way of his own.

“fine,” you pretend to roll your eyes. he looks hopelessly excited as he wraps an arm around you and pulls you into his side, tucking you under his chin as he rests his cheek on your head.

“you should really talk to me more,” he murmurs, “i’m…things fly over my head sometimes. i’m sorry.”

“i’m sorry too,” you admit, “i’ll talk to you—but you better listen to me if i do. don’t turn it into jokes.”

“i never turn things into jokes,” he grumbles petulantly, huffing to the side as you shoot him an unimpressed raise of your brow. “does this mean i can follow you again?”

“yes,” you snort.

“and you’ll follow back, right?”

“yes, satoru,” you sigh, shaking your head in amusement. he’s already back to being a handful—but you can admit you might have missed it just a bit. “but for the love of god, please delete that burner.”

“fine,” he pouts, tugging you closer.

you giggle, he grins, and then you’re kissing—and everything feels as it should be.

———

“they’re back together,” shoko says in disbelief, staring at your text. suguru groans, pausing mid bite as he rubs over his forehead in defeat.

of course, you and satoru just have to make up in exactly fifteen minutes. not ten. not twenty. exactly fifteen.

how considerate of you both.

“are you kidding?” suguru grumbles, “so neither of us win.”

“guess not,” she says sourly, rolling her eyes.

woefully, they both agree to split the check.

suguru and shoko are so me and my friend every time our other friend argues with her boyfriend we deadass be making bets over when they make up and loser has to pay for boba LMAO

#teepods.writings #drabbles.#gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojo fluff #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jjk fluff #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru fluff #gojo satoru x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen fluff

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leehaechan · 2 years ago

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about to start the last ep of alice in borderland wish me luck

#ep 7 ……..icb this 😭 s1 was so good and fast paced I remember watching it over again as soon as I finished but this one’s too emotional #i can’t do it lmao I think I’ll rewatch s1 again after though lol I didn’t rewatch bc I got too excited for the new eps but gotta go back #theyre not able to ** **** are they? they’ll become the **** ******** and it’ll reset right #someone pls confirm but also hopefully me censoring like 3 words is enough not to spoil for anyone ahfjjsjshd

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twig-tea · 2 months ago

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GL odds and ends 6 October 2024

I haven't been as good at posting about shows as I wanted to be, so I'm trying a round-up format instead because it feels like a lot of GLs skirt under the radar. It's exciting that we're in a time when there's enough GL airing that it's worth doing a round-up! This was a great week for the lesbians to figure themselves out, so it feels like a good week to start. No idea how regularly I'll do this, need to figure out a cadence that makes sense.

Currently airing (with thoughts up to Oct 6):

Reverse 4 U 5/8 (Thai, Tuesdays 1:00 PM EDT, Netflix / YouTube) This week the girls finally sorted themselves and we got set up for the main plot to start next week. I was initially really stoked about this one and then a little bummed that it's not taking it's very cool premise and the stakes it establishes as seriously as it could be, but I'm still hoping it will start to have real stakes in the main plot stretch.

The Two of Us s2 ep 6/6 END (Thai, 29 Aug-3 Oct 2024, YouTube) It was so great seeing women in their 40s being romantic together but I did not love the plot of this one; I find their romantic conflicts too juvenile (lots of easily-triggered jealousy). The moments they're being sweet are great though.

Unlock Your Love ep 4/8 (Thai, Wednesdays, GagaOOLala / YouTube [cut version]) This is the first episode that this series felt a little more assured; I liked the series this production company produced with a short run time, it feels like this series has been worse off for its longer episodes. That being said, when these couples get to do their thing like in this episode, they have good chemistry.

Chaser Game W s2 ep 3/8 (Japanese, Thursdays 12:30 PM EDT, GagaOOLala) @lurkingshan is already doing a great summary of this week to week in her JQL weekly round-up!

Affair the series ep 6/8 (Thai, Fridays 11:15 AM EDT, iQIYI/ YouTube) Finally! I liked that it was Ek pointing out that Wan was unhappy the entire time she was gone that finally got Pleng to give in to her desire to be with Wan. This show is so melodramatic but the emotional threads follow and the character motivations are clear and consistent; I'm enjoying it in spite of not loving melodramatic storylines in general. It helps that the acting in this one is excellent.

The Loyal Pin ep 10/16 (Thai, Sundays 12:15 PM EDT, YouTube) Glad we finally got confirmation of Patt's history! And I'm relieved Anin knows she has an ally, though I feel like it's given her false confidence that worries me. These two are stressing me out by how bad they are at being careful but I do love how desperate they are for each other, as well as how beautiful this show is.

Red Whisper ep 2/8 (Korea, Wednesdays and Sundays, YouTube) Starting with cheating is not my fave but is par for the course with these SukFilm short series; my fave so far has been their first GL so if you haven't seen that yet I'd honestly recommend that instead.

Recent One-offs

Out of Breath (re-release in a bingeable version; Korean, YouTube) Highly recommended! Also the creator, Soo not Sue, announced she's working on another series to hopefully air before the end of the year, which I am super stoked about.

The Suffering of Xiqing Mountain (Chinese (censored), YouTube)

Sastra film app YouTube channel has several short Cambodian GL series that come out weekly Honestly they are not to my taste but I don't like gatekeeping GL especially from smaller markets. I check in on these time to time and if there are any that I think are great I'll give them a shout-out

Ditto above with JPC media YouTube channel for Thai GL shorts if there are any that stand out to me I'll say so

Recently ended that I haven't had the wherewithal to write about:

Hoshikuzu Telepath (fansub) Thank you to @yuiyuihan for your hard work making it possible to watch this series! I I haven't read the original manga but I do know they changed the kiss communication to a forehead rest; Unsurprised that this adaptation, starring idols in the same group, would be left ambiguous in terms of whether their feelings are friendly or romantic. I liked what this series was trying to say, but in all honestly didn't love the execution. It's too bad because I absolutely love the concept of an alien being helped by girls obsessed with building rockets.

The Secret of Us 8 eps [complete] (24 Jun-15 Aug 2024, YouTube) I first included this in my recommendations from the summer and then retracted, but I ended up liking this series and then never updated again. So to set the record straight: Though it lost me in the middle, the ending on this series won be back over. I really appreciated the way this series handled filial piety and balancing that against personal happiness. I appreciated SO MUCH that the main characters decided together how to handle Lada's situation with her mother. I finally understood too late that Earn believed the lies Lada's mother told her in ep1, and that affected some of their decisions in the middle of the series. I still think the execution was wobbly, but the acting and chemistry between the two leads carries this series through. This has some of the best domestic fluff in any GL, as well as my favourite GL counter lift to date. And it's gorgeous. Tentatively recommended with the caveat that you do have to either enjoy or power through the melodrama in the middle.

Starting soon:

Apple My Love, Thai, 12 October, GagaOOLala

Pluto, Thai, 19 October, VIU

The Nipple Talk, Taiwanese, 1 November GagaOOLala

My Ex's Wedding [in theatres in Thailand 14 November]

Petrichor, Thai, 23 November, TBD

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widowmura · 7 months ago

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Good lord! What is happening in there? Aurora borealis. Aurora borealis? No, actually its just my ex running a train of himself over a twink in my backyard.

Hopefully this is censored enough so tumblr doesn't kill me. Based off of a Marvel screenshot I found. Uncensored version found on twitter.

#bloodweave #astarion #gale of waterdeep #fuck mystra

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d6volution · 1 year ago

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Ok, so reader (somehow) gets her hands on a cute bunny lingerie. It's got fishnet tights and a headband and a cute little cotton tail. What better use for it than to tease Jax with it? Surely he won't pin her down and fuck her into next Wednesday, right?

ive decided to combine these two asks, 🤭 hopefully that is okay. enjoy.

tags: pregnancy, pregnant!reader, miscommunication, dry humping, lingerie, jax in heat

minors dni.

It's strange, ever since you got pregnant with Jax's kits he's.. been avoiding you, well. Not necessarily but he's been trying not to overwhelm you? Yes, maybe that's it. You really couldn't tell, he acted strange around you as of late. Trying to keep his distance but, still caring for you tooth and nail. You couldn't help but feel like your swelling tummy and changing body was becoming.. unattractive for him? You weren't that far along.. you tummy only just began to sprout a small baby bump.

His touches no longer lingered and his body language was the opposite of what it used to be. Maybe he was a bit distressed about .. becoming a father? You felt like you needed to calm him down, help him relax like he's been helping you.

You decided to take things into your own hands, you wanted to feel sexy for him again. And you had an idea.

Knock, knock knock.

Ragatha opened the door and you stood there timdly, "Hi.. is this a bad time?"

"What, no no— Of course not, come in y/n." She ushered you inside with a kind smile and you both got comfortable in her room. You explained your situation and like the good friend she was, the doll completely understood.

"Give me a day or two, and it'll be done alright? Don't think too much, Jax... can be very confusing sometimes." She reassured you, and you exited her room soon after. Running into Jax just outside of the hall.

"H.. Hey, doll, how ya feelin'?" He asked, avoiding eye contact and rubbing the back of his neck.

"I'm fine, are you alright Jax..? You've seemed.. distant—"

"Hang on doll, I'll get right back to ya." He spotted Kinger and used this as a means to escape your questioning.. and that confirmed that you weren't imagining his strange behavior.

The days went by, and soon your 'package' from ragatha was ready. It was a bunny themed lingerie set. You were flustered when she delivered it but thanked her all the same.

Today would be the day you'd capture Jax's attention, one way or another.

You waited until it was late enough, late enough that Jax would return to your room soon. It became a routine to make sure you were okay and had everything you needed before bed. During this time you slipped into the lingerie.. it hugged your body, your curves and put them on display deliciously. You felt your heart race, was this too much..? No you couldn't back down now.

You heard footsteps and quickly shuffled to get onto the bed, assuming a suggestive pose.

Jax walked in.

"Hey babe just checkin' in— .... on... you.." His voice trailed off and his eyes were glued to your form. He swallowed and quickly shut the door behind him, "What's all this toots..?" He sounded, nervous. It wasn't like him. He gripped his own wrist as if to hold himself back and you subtly noticed this..

"I.. I wanted to surprise you.." You stuttered out nervously. "I wanted your attention and you seemed to be.. avoiding me.."

Jax was silent, his compsure was slipping. Seeing you in this outfit, your legs your tummy .. your neck your entire body. He couldn't do it. He was doing so well before but this? It was too much. The man nearly pounced on you. In the blink of the eye he was pinning you down, his breathing heavy.

"You don't understand, doll. I've been doin' this for your own sake.. look at you." He breathed, holding your wrists down and gently squeezing them. "Walkin' around in those tight little shorts all day now this? Heh.. you must want me to [censor] another set of kits into you." He nearly growled, his knee pushing your legs open so he could close the space between you both and rut against your crotch.

He was throbbing, his dick straining against his clothes painfully.

"I haven't been avoiding you on purpose doll, my heat came back.. I didn't.. want to overwhelm you, but if ya think im gonna hold back after this your dead wrong." He whispered into your ear.

"T.. Take me Jax, please.. I need you," You whimpered, arms wrapping around him.

"The things you do to me.. hng.." He was already losing himself just dry humping your crotch, he had been holding himself back for a while now. "J.. Just stay still, doll—" His hand caressed your stomach. His ego swelling when he felt the curve of your baby bump beneath his fingertips. Jax grunted, his face more flushed than yours now. You felt the warmth between your legs grow even more. He came in his pants...

"J.. Jax.." you whined, squriming beneath him in need.

"I know, babe.. I know.. Im gettin there." He was trembling , removing his overalls.

"Let's pump you full some more, yeah?"

#the amazing digital circus #ask #jax tadc #jax x reader #minors dni #jaxsmut

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cybergothvox · 6 months ago

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One thing that makes me sad to see in the communities of people with disorders that cause highly volatile, intense or irrational emotions is the common sentiment that such emotions cannot be safely expressed to the person that they are about without hurting them.

People seem to feel trapped in not speaking to others about their feelings, making them stew in them alone while the feelings get worse and worse, or letting them explode out at the person in a hurtful fashion.

I wanted to share what works for me. This may not work in every relationship that you have, but it will at least be a way for you to communicate your emotions and know that you are not doing anything wrong by doing do.

The core of this is basically I statements. It sounds very simple and like it should not work, but it is very helpful. It is a bit more complicated than that and I will get into it but tldr; is just make sure you are phrasing things like 'i felt x' or 'i have urges to y' rather than to just say x or y.

For example, I have told my partner that I felt like I hated them and I have urges to cut them off. By phrasing it in this way, they can see that I am having a split, am recognizing that I am having a split, and am trying to communicate with them in a healthy way. Even if I am having negative thoughts about them, by phrasing it as an I statement I am indicating my desire to work through it. This would land very differently if I just said 'I hate you, I am cutting you off' which is a statement of fact and a life altering decision. They would not attempt to comfort me in this situation, they would instead say 'okay bye i guess. fuck you also'

It can feel like it would be terrible to tell them I even felt like I hated them because I worry they would take it as a statement of fact. But by phrasing it as a feeling, they are able to recognize it for what it is and approach me with compassion. It helps if, before you have a split on a person, you explain this to them, especially if they are unfamiliar with disorders that cause splitting. This can help prepare them to read what you are saying correctly as an attempt to communicate rather than a statement of fact.

Doing this can be difficult when you are gripped by a very strong emotion. What I like to do is to write it all down, exactly as it feels. Write in the notes of your phone or in a journal 'I hate you' and whatever else you are feeling without censoring yourself or trying to make an I statement. Then, you can go back over what you wrote and pick out what things you need to talk about, and rephrase it in a constructive manner. Or, if you are close enough to a person that you are both okay with this, you can ask them if it is okay to show them the raw emotions you wrote, with the important disclaimer of you telling them this is how you feel in the moment, and not objective fact.

You do not have to be alone with your emotions. It is okay to talk about your big emotions, even irrational ones, even ones that feel mean. It is just important that when you do, you say it in a way that acknowledges them as emotions and not fact, because presenting it as fact will hurt. Presenting it as the emotions that they are can help the other person to help you, and hopefully you will both be closer at the end, even if the conversation is a difficult one to have.

#beep boop #NPD #BPD #actually bpd #bpd splitting #probably applies to other disorders but npd and bpd are the ones that i have and this isprobably mainly caused by my bpd #but anyone who finds this useful can reblog and tag with whatever disorders you feel it is relevant for

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