#hopefully that was somewhat clear? I don't know

[ozzgin]

ok but now I’m curious about what’s on the whiteboard (unless it’s just random scribbles)

[Referring to the Yan!Professor doodle]

It is indeed a genuine snippet about the Dirac Sea!

Short answer: Dirac proposed the existence of an Anti-world (Dirac Sea) containing antiparticles, a model which was later disproved. It still remains a popular Sci-Fi trope.

Long answer: Let us briefly return to the time when Schrödinger had published his famous equation which described the wave function of a particle. Many physicists asked themselves if this new mathematical formula could be formatted in a relativistic way, according to Einstein's laws.

Now, I won't go into the mathematical details, but you essentially take the time-dependent Schrödinger equation and flip it around using operators and the mass-energy equivalence. What you get, if you're curious, is the Klein-Gordon Equation. If you try to solve it, you will get a -E solution.

Basically, they hit an impasse. Combining Schrödinger's equation with Einstein's relativism resulted in a mathematical solution which suggested there's negative (kinetic) energy. Is negative energy possible? This is where Dirac comes in. He sees the numbers and proposes the following idea: that our world is a sea of particles, and there's another anti-world which contains anti-particles.

The theory was quickly discarded, as it came with too many additional issues. If such anti-particles existed, for example, their mass and gravitational force would be so massive, they should be impossible to ignore. Where were these forces?

Later, Feynman would take over and clear up the confusion. These anti-particles of negative energy merely appear to travel backwards in time, but it's a mathematical trick which can be quickly "fixed" using CPT symmetry. An electron with negative energy traveling from A to B is really just a positron with positive energy that goes from B to A.

While Dirac's Sea turned out to be false, it was a massive source of inspiration for science fiction and fantasy. Surely you must've seen the trope of evil/opposite self from an alternate world. This is where it stems from.

[uncanny-tranny]

Me in 2016: You know, saying things like "trans rights are human rights" doesn't necessarily mean that person is safe around trans people. In fact, sometimes people still have unchecked bias against trans people, and that can be clouded by them saying that trans rights are human rights. It can prevent them from fully looking into their own preconceptions about cissexism and trans people.

Me in 2023: Oh, thank gd this person said "trans rights are human rights," I was worried they also abhorred trans people

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

You: *writes two small essays clearly, cleanly, and thoroughly going through issues you have with the writing in Miraculous, and how they affect what the show is actually saying vs what the writers are going for vs what the audience is taking away from the show, without treating the characters as autonomous people who actually exist a single time*

Someone who pisses on the poor: 'oh so you think this abused child, who was magically created from a feather, deserves to be maliciously lied to by his lifelong romantic partner and fellow 14 year old? After everything he's already been through?'

Media literacy classes should be a requirement everywhere

Thank you for your kind comments about that post. Comments like yours have been very validating after what was initially a really disheartening series of events.

I was quite pleased with what I wrote and thought that I had done a good job focusing on the writing and emphasizing that I was talking about the big picture of the narrative, not chastising or praising specific characters for what the writers had them do. But after I had multiple people go off on rants defending Alya and Adrien, I started seriously questioning my own sanity and communication skills. I even looked up the definition of betrayal to make sure that I wasn't somehow misusing it since that word really seemed to upset people. In case anyone was wondering:

Betrayal is the breaking or violation of a presumptive contract, trust, or confidence that produces moral and psychological conflict

After verifying that I hadn't been using "betrayal" wrong for well over a decade, I got a little annoyed and did my angry rant in the hope that it would save me from further backlash.

While it has been super validating to see that my two initial essays did in fact make sense to a good number of people, that last post did go a little viral, which I didn't see coming, so I want to take a moment to make it clear that I DO NOT want anyone go after the people who did the rants that spawned my rant. Nothing they did or said was worthy of any sort of pile on. They were just expressing opinions and that's fine. I even get it to some extent because a lot of people have unfairly salted on Alya, acting as if she's the problem and not the writing. And that can be really upsetting when you like her because she doesn't deserve those pile ons any more than Marinette does. They are both victims of bad writing!

I get the desire to treat fictional characters like real people, I really do, but Miraculous is frankly not a good enough show for you to do that. The hand of the author is far too blatant, making characters do whatever the writers want instead of what makes sense for what has been established. One of my favorite quick examples is that the writers gave us a full episode where Gabriel "proved" that Adrien wasn't Chat Noir only to have him figure out Adrien's secret identity because he heard his son use the words My Lady as if that's a super unique pet name that would make Adrien's secret undeniable.

It's all nonsense, which is why I focus on the writing issues, treating the characters like the tools they very clearly are. I simply can't do the kind of character analysis you can do in well written shows where the characters feel real and their actions make sense in the established narrative.

I'll close with this statement to explain how I try to run this blog: the characters in the show are fictional, the people you're talking to on here are not. In the grand scheme of things, nothing about Miraculous is bad enough to be worth fighting over. That's why I enjoy talking about it. With all the truly important fights going on in the world, it's nice to come on here and relax by talking about writing - a topic I adore - without having to care if people agree. It's also why I have this as a side blog. I want people to be able to avoid my content if it upsets them as my goal is first and foremost to have fun dunking on a show that is bad in interesting ways. If I only ever got upset replies to my posts, then I would not run this blog because Miraculous is not worth being miserable over. No piece of fiction is.

[teasel-backatitagain]

Thinking about her (Karina Braun)

[vantaeries]

YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE : PICK A PILE

FIRST IMPRESSION VS AFTER THEY KNOW YOU

PILE 1 PILE 2

PILE 3 PILE 4

Hello everyone ! I'm Rin! I'm an intuitive tarot reader. It's been almost one and a half since I've been learning about tarot, divination and astrology so I decided to channel general reading for everyone! It's my first public reading ever, so hopefully you like it

Disclaimer : This is a general reading. It may or may not resonate with you. Please take what resonates and leave what doesn't. Remember, the energies can change from time to time. So pick wisely.

How to pick : Close your eyes, take a deep breath and clear your mind. Trust your intuition and choose a pile that you are most drawn to.

PILE 1

At first, they see you as a person they are willing to risk it all for. Anyone who doubts you, your FS is willing to go up against anyone for you. They see someone who is strong for learning from your past mistakes. Due to this, they see you as someone they somewhat fear. 'I want to know them, but what if they reject me? What if they misinterpret my intentions toward them?' They feel stuck. One moment they want to approach you, but then they are afraid to because you are intimidating to them.

After they get to know you better, they start to see you as someone who brings a lot of excitement into their life. They are obsessed and passionate about you! Don't be surprised if they start to become more flirtatious and clingy. Your presence brings a lot of transformative experiences and forces them to step out of their comfort zone or remain stuck in the past.

PILE 2

They think you're driven and hardworking, focused on your future. But because you're so into your work, they feel a bit distant from you and wonder if you're really right for them. Still, they're hopeful they can break down your walls and get to know you better.

As they learn more about you, they realize you're the one they've been searching for. You make their life feel magical, and they're falling for you even more. They start to see they misjudged you at first and want to take their time to be sure. They like you a lot, but they need a bit more time before committing fully. Until then, they see this relationship moving towards something serious, like getting engaged or married.

PILE 3

This person is clearly infatuated with you and sees you as their perfect match. However, they may place unrealistic expectations on you, causing you stress with their demands. They come across as somewhat obsessed with you, finding you incredibly attractive and wanting to exert control. Yet, you stand firm in your strength and maturity, refusing to be manipulated.

When they realize they can't easily sway you, they may begin to distance themselves and keep secrets. You don't need to rescue or change them; instead, show them your strength and worth. As they reflect on their mistakes and change for the better, they'll come to understand and appreciate you more deeply

PILE 4

They view you as an option among several others, still undecided on whether to approach you. Oh! They are a player. You are unapproachable to them because you are playing hard to get but it's just you want to enjoy your single phase. They don't have any strong feelings towards you until they learn more about you. It was your personality that made them attracted to you.

Your strong personality intrigues them, prompting a sense of urgency to pursue you before someone else does, possibly leading to impulsive decisions. It's possible this attraction is one-sided, as some of you may be content with your single status and not anticipate their advances, potentially resulting in rejection. Nonetheless, they're determined not to give up and will strive to impress you, especially in terms of financial achievements, hoping to change your perception of them. They feel insecure and jealous seeing you with others, fearing they may fall short of your standards, prompting them to work hard to improve themselves.

Take care y'all

[loveafterdeath-if]

Can I ask you how El would have reacted if MC asked them what they wanted to ask (maybe at home while reassuring El on the couch or while brushing teeth)?

I hope we're thinking about the same thing, well, obviously there's only one thing MC wanted to ask so hopefully I got it right.

Btw, I, uh, got a bit carried away haha....

Here’s how it would’ve been in another life

(Serious is green and playful is red)

As you brush El's teeth, your brain thinks and overthinks, gears turning in your head relentlessly. Should you ask now? But then again, proposing right now is a bit... 

Let's just say you imagined something more elegant and sophisticated. You're brushing his/her teeth, both of your mouths coated with toothpaste foam. There's nothing elegant about it but... You still have this little box in your pocket and you don't think you can wait any longer. 

That waitress did ruin your moment earlier, but it doesn't have to be perfect, right? It's the thought that counts as they say, and you love El. Your love has to be enough. 

"What ah you hinkin–" El pushes the toothbrush away making you pull your hand back as he/she spits in the sink next to him/her. After a moment, he/she tries again. "What are you thinking about?" 

"I–" 

"Me?" El wiggles his/her brows. "You're thinking about me, admit it." 

"Maybe you'd know if you actually let me answer," you huff a laugh, nudging his/ her inner thigh playfully from between his/her legs "Can I talk or do I have to pay for subscription to do it?" you level him/her with a deadpan stare.

El only grins as he/she waves a hand for you to continue. "Alright, alright. Go ahead, babe." 

Suddenly, you're not sure anymore if you wanna talk. His/Her full attention is on you now, his/her eyes shining with wonder and curiosity. 

You clear your throat, straighten your back and swallow hard as your hand hovers over your pocket where the lil treasure lies. The object feels uncomfortably heavy in your pocket right now. This is nerve-wracking. This is probably a bad idea to do it right now.

Fuck, you're nervous... your hand is slightly trembles and you hope he/she doesn't notice. 

He/She does. 

"Hey," he/she murmurs softly, wiping toothpaste from the corner of your lips with his/ her thumb before cleaning his/her own mouth under the sink’s spray. 

You're glad he/she did. At least you'll look somewhat decent for what's about to happen.

"You okay?" he/she asks, hands reaching out again but this time to cup your cheeks, thumbs stroking gently there. He/She seems torn between reassuring you about whatever has you feeling this way and teasing you. "What's going on?" 

"Nothing," you mutter, a slight frown betraying your words. 

It's El's turn to frown as he/she searches your eyes. Finding them he/she smiles warmly. "Why are you frowning, then? 

"I'm..." not. That's what you want to say but it'd be a lie. 

“You are,” he/she retorts in a quiet voice, gaze darting between your eyes. “Did I do something?”

“No,” you shake your head, your hand covering one of his/hers on your cheek. “No, you didn’t.” “Then tell me what’s wrong?” "Mh? Nothing, nothing," you grin at him/her, trying to mask your nervousness. 

El cocks a brow, a teasing smile spreading on his/her lips. "Why do I feel like you're lying?" 

"Me?" you throw him/her your most innocent look.

Your lover mirrors you, batting his/her eyelashes playfully. “Yes, you.”

“I would never,” you declare dramatically, a hand raised as if performing a theatrical monologue. “My heart is too pure, my soul too genuine, my mind too–“

But seeing his/her growing worry, you finally sigh. Right, maybe not a good idea to deflect right now.

You’re someone courageous, you’re gonna propose right now. You’ll do it. Right here, right now. Or maybe after some minutes of– no, you’ll do it.

Slipping your hand in your pocket, you suck in a breath. Shit, okay, you're actually doing it. This is now or never. No time for overthinking it. 

"El," you start. You want to go again and start saying how much you love him/her, how much he/she means to you. But if you do that, you're scared to backtrack and decide against it once again. 

El nods, patiently waiting, anticipating. He/She takes back his/her toothbrush to brush his/her teeth while you take your sweet time spilling it.  Slowly, your lower your knee until it touch the floor and that’s exactly when his/her whole body freeze, the box finally showing its head as you lift it and open it for El's view. The chocolate diamond not shining as brightly as El’s eyes.

"Marry me," you finally say. 

It's a bit... blunt, but there's no denying the vulnerability in your eyes right now as you hold his/her gaze. Your throat constricts and your heart races, as if trying to escape your damn ribcage.  "Marry me?" you attempt a smile, trying to bring out your playful side. But you can't hide how terrified you are right now. 

It’s one thing to joke here and there, but it's another to expose yourself so much, so… completely. 

You did it. The stress hasn’t vanished at all, though. You proposed... now you just have to actually hear the answ– 

Your eyes instinctively close when El sputters, literally spitting in your face as you grimace. Wow... so much for a picture-perfect proposal moment...

However, when your eyes open, your expression softens at the sight he's/she's giving you. 

His/Her eyes watering and glimmering with unshed tears, lips trembling, soft, choked noises escaping his/her throat. "You're a monster..." 

You blink at him/her. You're not sure how to interpret this answer. 

Suddenly, El sobs, launching off the counter to practically tackle you. You both crash to the floor with a solid thud. You groan, rubbing the back of your head, suddenly thankful for your thick skull. Your attention is pulled elsewhere, though. You feel him/her nod frantically against your skin, burying his/her head in the crook of your neck. "Yes yes YES... I love you." 

His/Her hiccups and whimpers echo in the bathroom as he/she grips you for dear life, as if afraid it's all a dream. "I love you so much..." 

You don't waste time wrapping your arms around him/her, pulling him/her closer than he/she already is. Your hand rubs his/her back as he/she lets it all out, your own eyes watering at the pure joy you're feeling right now.

“It’s… It’s my fave color,” he/she hiccups against you, body shivering with each sob.

“I know.”

“I love you I love you I love you…”

"I love you too, El." 

The box is forgotten on the floor. 

But it's okay, because the man/woman in your arms is more important than any rings in the world. 

[ghcstao3]

Ghost is being discharged after his luck ran out, now partially deaf with a knee he needs to watch.

At the ceremony is families of other soldiers getting ready to take them home. All cheering and happy to have their loved ones back. Among the crowd someone Price seems to recognise and smile at.

Once it's all over, Ghost is getting ready to leave when he notices the lone man talking to the others. Eventually coming over to him.

The scot is from the mechanics department, unable to enlist due to be partially deaf from his family. He's there to just talk to everyone leaving and hopefully give them a good moment before leaving the life they've grown used to. Ghost being one he wants to talk to as well.

Ghost wants to refuse the offer of a drink, but he's intrigued by this stranger so decides to take it.

Being alive for the end of his military career is something Ghost had stopped planning for a very, very long time ago. Yet here he stands, medically discharged with a bum knee and shit hearing, just wishing he could go home.

Price had claimed the socialization would be good for him ("Can't become a recluse in retirement, Riley"), and that it wouldn't hurt to give himself some proper closure, but Ghost begs to differ—he's exhausted, his leg hurts, and even just talking with his former captain has begun to feel draining.

So it's a great relief when the din of conversation begins to die down and Price reluctantly gives him the green light to leave—but it's at this point that, upon casting a cursory glance around the thinning crowd, the captain spots who Ghost must assume is a friend, by the smile and curt wave Price throws over Ghost's shoulder.

Curious, Ghost turns to follow Price's line of sight across the room, his gaze falling on a man he hadn't noticed prior, nor that he recognizes. The man raises a hand in acknowledgement of Price, his face friendly (and handsome) even half-turned and far away. He's helping with clean-up, in conversation with a few lingering veterans, though Ghost notes he isn't in uniform like himself, Price, and others; Ghost wonders how he and Price could be familiar.

But as he turns to ask, he finds that Price has disappeared on him, and now Ghost feels terribly awkward standing alone in the middle of a room he already didn't want be in with someone he knows.

Then someone clears his throat beside him, and Ghost suddenly finds himself face-to-face with Price's mystery friend, acquaintance, whatever.

"Hey," the man greets, sticking out his hand for Ghost to shake, "I'm John. MacTavish. But you can call me Soap."

Ghost eyes Soap's hand, but doesn't accept it. He arches a brow at the nickname. "The hell kind of a name is Soap?"

Somewhat to Ghost's surprise, Soap merely laughs, something loud and warm and bright. He offers a wry grin, the expression (charmingly, endearingly) lopsided. "Long story," he says, then pauses, briefly searching past Ghost like something's missing. "Saw Price was here with you, but he seems to have vanished, aye?"

Ghost can't help but snort. "Tell me about it. Bastard made me attend, forced me to stay, then left me alone," he mutters. "Thinks he's still my captain."

"Your captain, huh?" Soap's grin twists into a calmer, more tame smile—polite and considerate, like Ghost had seen him wear while chatting not several minutes before. His eyes, however, electric blue and brimming with the unknown, tell a different story, one that Ghost finds himself wanting to read. "What say you to drinks? If you'd be open to talkin' more, that is."

Ghost frowns. "You don't even know my name."

Soap shrugs. "I'd find out eventually."

"Presumptuous," Ghost replies, deadpan.

"I call it ambitious," Soap counters, teasing. He tilts his head, and only then does Ghost notice the hearing aid in one of his ears. "So?"

Ghost stares. "So?"

"Drinks," Soap reminds. "You look like you could use a nice scotch."

The former lieutenant considers the proposal, more inclined to say no—but a second longer of thought has Ghost wanting to unearth the mystery of John "Soap" MacTavish, strangely enough. So he nods, tentative, and does his best to ignore his hammering heart when Soap's face lights up as he does so.

"Make it a bourbon and you have a deal," Ghost says, and somehow that makes Soap beam even wider.

There, Price, Ghost thinks, as Soap leads him out of the venue, not as socially inept as you thought.

He just hopes that going along won't turn out to be a mistake.

[cherubimcore]

pairing: alastor x reader

author's notes: sorry for the long wait 😭 college hates me and i started a new internship and i don't even have time to think about writing... but i finished another chapter, i don't know if it's good but i hope you like it, hopefully the next one is longer but i can't make any promises ;)

part 1

“what’s wrong?” charlie asked with a worried tone.

“nothing you have to concern your little head about it” alastor forced a smile, he knew none of them would believe him but he needed a couple hours alone to think about the letter “now… if there’s nothing more to be said, i will be going”

and before any of them could ask more questions alastor blended into the shadows and transported himself to his room in the hotel.

letting his smile drop a little he sat on his bed and stared at the letter in his hands.

why were they doing this to him?

sure, he’s not exactly the best person out there but he at least tried to be somewhat civil, between helping charlie with this excuse of a hotel and trying to not infringe on the terms of the deal he made long ago.

but this… this put everything he spent the last decades building in jeopardy.

if alastor could he would simply tear this letter apart and burn it, never thinking about those words again.

the demon stepped in front of his fireplace with the letter in hands ready to ignore and completely forget about it, but the tight grip on his hands didn’t let the letter fall in the flames.

he couldn’t.

after staring at the letter for what felt like hours, alastor finally set it aside. he could see the angels’ game as clear as day: they were setting him up to fail, counting on his nature to make it impossible for anyone, much less a human, to see him as anything more than a monster

and with that he was setting the hotel to fail spectacularly and that certainly wasn’t his deal with lilith all those years before.

that’s why she sent him the letter.

threatening everything he had accomplished with her help, either alastor likes to admit it or not.

but alastor was nothing if not stubborn, he wouldn’t let this stupid joke from heaven and lilith destroy everything for him, and, as much as he hates to admit, for charlie as well, and he wasn’t about to play the angels’ little game without a twist of his own.

after alastor’s initial attempts to charm you—mostly involving unsettling gifts, eerie glances, and his “radio smile” lingering far too long—he began to realize that his usual tactics weren't working. he’d appear in mirrors, whisper eerie compliments from dark corners, and once even serenaded you with a distorted, old-timey song that left you rattled. and yet, instead of getting closer, you were pulling away, more suspicious than ever.

seeing his frustration, the crew decided to intervene.

“look, al,” angel dust said one afternoon as he watched alastor pace around the lobby. “you can’t just be creepy and expect a girl to swoon. romance isn’t about lurking around like some horror movie villain.”

alastor frowned, his smile flickering. “romance isn’t exactly my expertise,” he admitted, crossing his arms. “but I was certain that she’d appreciate a little…mystique.”

“maybe tone down the ‘i’m watching you from the shadows’ vibe,” charlie suggested gently. “why don’t you just…be there for her? show up, help her out, maybe smile a little less, um…serial-killer-y?”

husk snorted, shaking his head. “yeah, or just act like a normal person for once. no haunting, no creeping.”

alastor grimaced, but, reluctantly, he took their advice. the next time he appeared, it was during the day, while you were organizing books on the shelf. he simply knocked on the door—a sharp, polite rap that startled you. when you turned, he was standing there with an unreadable expression, his hands behind his back.

“good afternoon,” he said, his voice smooth, though still holding that eerie undertone. “i thought perhaps I could assist you…if you’d allow.”

you looked at him with a puzzled expression, was he joking? after almost scaring you to death all those days and making you actually consider moving out of the very nice house you didn’t actually pay rent to now being polite as if he’s a sort of roomate of yours wanting to make peace after an argument?

you scoffed but still allowed him to help, at least he could make himself useful after everything.

“so…” you said after a while, still side-eyeing him, expecting your ghostly intruder to do something suspicious “what are you exactly?”

alastor stopped on his tracks, still with a book on his hands halfway through to be put on the shelf.

“well, me dear” you noticed the static on voice had toned down significantly after your first encounters “i am a demon”

“a demon, huh” you squinted, why the hell didn’t your grandmother tell you she had a freaking demon living in her house? “do you have a name, demon?”

alastor’s smile faltered a little, back in hell he would never let anyone talk to him like this, but here he was swallowing the harsh words he wanted to say at the cost of his life... or even better not-life.

“no name?” you insisted, making him wake up from his daydream.

“the name’s alastor” the deer-man turned towards you, the pile of books on his hand gone and the room feeling less like a mess “and what is your name?”

“you are haunting me and don't even know my name?” you crossed your arms on your chest, laughing at the idea.

alastor opened his mouth to send a snarky remark in your direction but you were faster.

“my name is (y/n)... (y/n) (y/l/n)”

after you introduced yourself, alastor’s expression flickered briefly, he had heard your name before he was sure he had but why couldn’t he place it from where? it’s not usual for alastor to forget things like this, he made a mental note to talk to charlie about it, maybe she would know.

“well, (y/n), i must say,” alastor began “it’s a pleasure to finally make your acquaintance properly.” he extended a hand in an oddly formal gesture, as if you were meeting at a tea party rather than dealing with an uninvited demon in your grandmother’s home.

despite yourself, you almost felt a pang of amusement at his attempt at chivalry, and with a smirk, you took his hand. his touch was cool, yet strangely grounding. but the moment you released his hand, that unnerving cheshire grin of his was back.

“now that we’re formally introduced,” he said, leaning in with an amused gleam in his eye, “perhaps you’ll stop looking at me like a poltergeist?”

“maybe if you stop acting like one,” you countered, rolling your eyes but finding yourself oddly charmed by his persistence.

taglist: @vxllys

[ann1-wr1tes]

Tiring Exams

Synopsis: You are dead set on studying for your finals that you don't notice when your boyfriend calls you...(I suck at summarizing)

Warnings: None!

Word Count: 1,339

A/N: I dug up this old fic I wrote like last year. Hopefully this somewhat makes up for my lack of content and my nonexistence on this blog lmao-

----

You narrow your eyes at the paper in front of you. Your mind seems to be running so quickly but also somehow not at all? If that was even possible. You just focuses your eyes on the words that were on the paper in front of you and you swore this must've been your fifth time rereading this one sentence, but for some reason your brain just wouldn't put any of it together. None of it was sticking like it should!

You let out an exasperated sigh and rub your eyes and head tiredly. These damn final projects and exams were going to be the death of you. You also thought that if you had to reread this sentence one more time…you may just combust. Your mind just felt like it was bursting at the seams with overwhelming and frustrating thoughts. But alas, that was what exams were all about right?

You take a deep breath and look at your wall for a moment. Your eyes needed to look at something that wasn't a stark white piece of paper, covered in a jumble of words that you for some reason couldn't read or understand. You take a few moments to clear your mind and then you finally look back down at the paper and you reread over the words, this time they somewhat stick.

Your eyes continue to scan over the rest of the article and suddenly your phone is vibrating. You can feel the vibration going through the table and you are snapped out of you trance when you see the contact picture of your boyfriend on the screen of your phone.

You frown. Oh, how you wished that you could answer so badly. What you would give to hear Leon's voice right now but with a sad sigh you decline the call and toss it onto your bed. You couldn't have any distractions…..you had to finish this.

Leon felt his heart pick up just a little bit when you didn't answer his call. He knew that it was normal for people not to answer calls. Everyone had a life, you included so maybe you were just busy. Just for extra measure though, Leon made sure to leave a voice mail, telling you to call him back just so he could check in on you and say hi.

Maybe it was for the best anyways. He knew you had been busy lately studying for finals and he himself was busy with work, so no worries. That's what he tried telling himself.

Though Leon couldn't help it. After the events of Raccoon City, then Spain and so on, he didn't like to leave you alone for too long. He was always calling you, checking in on you, making sure everything was okay and that you didn't need anything. Even now, when he was always busy, he still tried his hardest to make time to just talk to you. To just hear your angelic voice that he adored so much.

But you were busy right now. No problem.

After that he busied himself with looking at files, documents, doing loads and loads of paperwork that practically bored him to death but at least he wasn't getting thrown around or hunted by B.O.W.S or zombies.

Little did Leon know, that right now you were also drowning in boredom.

Later in the day, he was about to go home and he still hadn't hear from you. As much as he tried to reassure himself that you were fine, he felt nervous. Usually you would have called him by now, or at least send him a text saying what you were doing or how you were, but he had gotten nothing from you and it was nearing dinner time.

Right when he got out of work, he immediately grabbed his phone and dialed your number as he made his way out to the parking lot to hop on his bike. He dialed your number and it just rang. You didn't pick up. To Leon, that was a big red flag and he decided that right when he got on his bike, he was gonna stop by your place to make sure you were okay.

He made sure to zoom over to your place as quickly as he could and with baited breath, he parked in your driveway and knocked on your door.

No answer.

He could feel his heart rate quicken as he knocks again and listens for any sounds on the other side. He doesn't hear any movement or talking coming from the other side and even worse, he doesn't hear the television going. It was silent and that did not sit well with him.

Leon didn't bother to knock again. Instead he bent down and lifted up your doorstep mat where he knew you kept the spare key to your house. Leon snatches it off the ground and is quick to unlock your front door and he rushes in, almost forgetting to close your door.

He calls out for you a few times, but there's still no response. That's when his eyes dart around your apartment, searching for signs of maybe a break in, or something gone wrong but everything is fine. Nothing is out of place, nothing seems to be out of the norm so that's when he rushes upstairs.

He opens your bedroom door and freezes. His heart rate is beating practically a mile a minute and he lets out a quiet breath of relief when he sees your smaller form, curled up in your bed fast asleep with numerous plushies and stuffed animals that he had gotten you.

Gosh he was just so worried. What if something happened to you? Or if you had gotten hurt? No…no…its okay, you are okay. You were just sleeping he tells himself. He takes a deep breath and quietly closes the door behind him as he glances at your table.

On your table lays all your project papers and even your laptop that is still halfway open and opened up to a tab that is full of the work that you had been doing all day. No wonder you were practically passed out. Seems like a lot of your energy was used on finishing those stupid exams and projects.

With a sigh he shuts your laptop and glances back at your sleeping form. It made his heart flutter a bit in his chest. You looked beautiful. Stunning even. It was just the raw look of peace on your face as you snoozed away, huddled up in a pile of blankets and stuffed animals. It was all quite adorable and Leon couldn't stop the smile that carved its way onto his face as he stepped a bit closer, slipping out of shoes and sitting them on the floor, next to your bed. He then shrugs off his leather jacket as well and rests against your bedpost.

As quietly as he could, he neared your bed and gently grazed your cheek with his thumb. It was just a little reminder to himself that you were okay and were in fact right there in front of him.

Now as sneakily as Leon can, he pulls away some of the blankets and slowly slips in behind you. You can feel a sudden warmth press up against your back and a big pair of sturdy, strong arms wrap around you from behind and pull you closer. Even in your sleep ridden mind, you know its Leon.

You shuffle a bit, not fully waking up but to where you are half asleep. You turn your body towards Leon and you grasp onto him, nuzzling your face into his neck with a sleepy sigh.

"You sure did tire yourself out, huh sweetheart?" Leon whispers gently. He laughs softly when you give him an airy whine as you nuzzle closer into him.

His hands trail up your back and he runs his fingers through your hair softly. It was moments like these where he just thought everything was perfect.

[husky-studies]

hello, aventurine with a teen!reader who has a similar past like his?

Concept: Aventurine with a teen!reader who has a similar past

Warnings: mentions of reader having a burn mark, mentions of slavery, mentions of character death (not reader), relationship between the character and reader is strictly platonic!

Notes: Ngl anon you gave me a few ideas so hopefully you're alright with this one :)) and yes I know the stuff the IPC has been doing 😭

The planet you live in is rich with minerals and ores, its no wonder why most of the people there work as a miner. Its also not a surprise to know the planet belongs to the IPC as well. Unfortunately, not many know that the planet's work system is messed up. A lot of kids already worked as a miner and was treated horribly by the leaders. You had been working since you were a child, they had worked you to the point you look like a gust of wind could make you collapse.

A few young miners wanted to find more minerals but ended up making the small mine exploded. A good portion of the miners there dead and the rest fled, only you were left. Left to get the blame pinned on you. You weren't fairing any better. The explosion left a burnt mark on your left eye. The miner's leader was more than mad, he reported you to the IPC for you to get dealt with.

Aventurine got a notice that a mine in a mineral-rich planet was blown up, he was told to hold the trial since both Jade and Diamond is currently busy with other matters. He was expecting someone in their mid-20s or early 30s to do it, but he wasn't expecting a teen to do it. If he was shocked he might've hid it well. He looked into your info file given by the mine leader and then looked at you. You looked smaller than the average teenager should look like, your hair was unkept, your clothes were tattered, and your wrists bound together. You reminded him of his younger self in this position.

"Well kid, have anything to say to defend yourself?" Aventurine asked with his usual business smile. He heard a small whisper from you, although he didn't hear what you said. "What was that?" He asked once again. "I didn't do it." You spoke louder so he could hear you clearly. "It seems like your leader thinks differently, care to explain about it?" He said. Without hesitating, you explained everything. Aventurine has his usual smile on his face as he listen, but the furrow of his eyebrows were a clear hint that he's silently focusing on every word you're saying.

He feels the need to somehow help you out of your situation, so he did the only thing he's good at, gamble. "Let me offer you a deal, i'll flip this coin and if it lands on heads you'll come with me and work with me. But if it lands on tails, i'll send you back to your planet. Do you accept?" He offered. You've heard of his incredible luck but have no idea which side of the coin it will land on. Would the risk be worth it? "I accept." You pray to whatever aeon was up there that the risk was worth the result.

Soon Aventurine flipped the coin and caught it in his fist. Lo and behold, it landed on heads. Aventurine silently sighed in relief, his luck was in his favor yet again and he is able to somewhat help you out of your current situation. You on the other hand looked okay, but you were relieved you would be away from your cursed planet. Although you'll now have to work for Aventurine, it's better than working back there.

"Well, I'll go tell Jade we'll be getting a new recruit. And said new recruit will be working under me. Welcome to the IPC, kid." He said. Even if he doesn't show it, he's glad to know you'll be alright under his watch from now on. You can't help but be curious on whats going to happend to the trial. "Mr Aventurine, what are you going to tell your boss of the result? Would they be okay with this?" You asked. Aventurine just laughed and patted your head "Of course, I have my way with words. Plus I don't think they'd reject someone with good potential. Come with me, let's get you cleaned up." He said as he walked away, you following behind him. Maybe this won't too bad, working for the IPC.

Tags: @mitzukitsuna

[kuniihoonii]

Don't Leave Me

Warnings: angst, hurt comfort(?), Scaramouche has suicidal thoughts, he has trust issues. Not proof read. Feel free to correct any spelling mistakes !

You both know each other and you never left Scaramouche's side however his trust issues don't let him believe you won't actually leave him.. maybe up until now.

A/N: hellaur~ had a small idea for angst scara since I'm still heartbroken over the fact that no one caught him after the battle so 😔 had to make a drabble of it <3. It's been a while since I wrote soooo finally got something going. I have more thoughts for writing ideas !! Hopefully I'll come around to them soon.

Nahida and Traveler had just left the joururi workshop where they battled with Scaramouche. Now he's left hanging from his machine by the wires that connect to his back. Tears rolling down his cheeks but he doesn't make a sound. He's looking blankly at the ground which is a couple feet up away from him.. he just hopes the fall will take him out now.

He's so tired of living the life where no one wants him and everyone either hurts or betrays him if not both. He's almost counting seconds to his fall until you come in. He doesn't notice you at first. His want to be gone is too loud for him to hear your footsteps.

Meanwhile when you see him your eyes widen. Youve heard there was some fight going on with Scaramouche and you knew you had to come as fast as you could. You know him, you were probably the only one who understood him but his trust issues make it hard for him to understand why you care for him.

So now, you're running up under where his hanging from the machine and that's when you get into his line of vision and his eyes slightly widen at the sight of you.

"you.. what are-" he gets cut off by a snap. The wires connected to his back from the machine break and you catch him before he can hit the ground. You stumble back slightly onto the ground but you still have him in your hold as you're now sitting on the ground.

His eyes are widened in shock.. trying to process why you're here.. and.. is this reality or is he breaking into insanity. The warmth of you body against his, and the feeling of your heart beating against his chest makes him realise this is still reality and you really are here for him.

"why didnt you leave me like the rest of them" He asks you. His voice weak and weary. You hold him closer at the sound of his voice, your heart aching at the sound of him. It's clear he's still so used to people leaving him, betraying him and hurting him. You don't blame him for feeling that way with all that he's been through.

"I don't want to leave you." You tell him with a soft, caring voice which makes him look at you. He subconsciously relaxes into your arms. He's so touch starved, he doesn't want you to let go. His walls start to slowly break down.

"Kuni, you know I'll always be here for you. I've always stuck with you and I won't leave you now, not ever." You tell him and he can hear the honesty in your voice. He lets out a soft sigh as he hears you use his old nickname too.

He closes his eyes, "don't leave me.." is all he has the energy to say. Your heart aches more at his voice. His voice sounding so weak, exhausted.

You let out a soft sigh and hold him closer to you. "I won't leave you. I promise." You say truthfully. There's no more words exchanged between you both. You stay there like that for a moment longer.

He's too tired to keep his guard up and a part of him trusts you. After all.. you wouldn't be there for him right now if you'd plan on leaving him... Right? Your promise makes him feel somewhat at ease too.

He hesitantly wraps his arms around you too and he closes his eyes, melting into your touch as you're the only one bringing him comfort now. You're the only one who's brought him comfort after so long of not having anyone to give him comfort. He really hopes you won't leave him like everyone else did, this thought makes him tighten his arms around you. Scared of losing you too.

You speak up once more to him. "It's okay.. you're okay now. I won't ever leave you, Kunikuzushi". Your words are like a bandage to his wounds.

[lazyflower48]

Theory: Dazai's past

I was skimming through Fifteen, and I'm quite surprised that I don't see this part being brought up as often when talking about Dazai's past.

Dazai was invited to join the Sheep. What exactly does this mean? Did he spend a part of life living out on the streets or in Suribachi City?

It is stated here how Dazai isn't an orphan, nor was he related to the Mafia. He isn't an illegitimate child either. So this clears up a few things and provides a little hint about his past.

One thing we've seen about Dazai is that even as a young teen, he used to dress quite formally i.e. wearing a suit most of the time. (It's interesting how he used to dress formally even when he wasn't officially a member of the PM- like when he was present for the previous boss' assassination or when he was talking to Mori at the beginning of Fifteen)

This kind of plays into my theory about him being from a wealthy or a powerful family. While reading No Longer Human, it became very obvious to me how Dazai's personality is somewhat based on Yozo's. Yozo was from a relatively affluent family and had several siblings while being the youngest one of them all. I wouldn't be too surprised if Asagiri decides to write a similar past for Dazai.

If that's the case, then I also believe that Dazai may have ran away from his home. (Maybe due to facing similar circumstances as Yozo- like being neglected, abuse, etc). After running away, he ended up in Suribachi City and that is how he got invited to join the Sheep to which he declined. Eventually, he tried to commit suicide which resulted in him getting recruited into the PM by Mori, who had saved him from his suicide attempt.

One thing that stuck out to me while reading Stormbringer was how he used to live in a shipping container.

"It was a land completely forgotten by everybody"

"not even marked on a map"

These lines, in particular, caught my attention. There could be several reasons as to why he chose to live in a place like that, but for the sake of the theory- it makes me think that perhaps he was hiding from someone. At this point, he was still a child, so could it be that he was hiding from his own family? It ties back into the theory of how he may have ran away, and this is how he hid from his family.

So... That was my incoherent little theory about Dazai's past that I came up with at 2 am.

I would really like to know about his past because despite having the most material to work with, he still remains one of the most mysterious characters in BSD. Hopefully, Asagiri writes about it one day. (Please let it be soon)

[pyro-les]

Rescue - Agathario - part 1 of 3

1,124 words - Warnings: mentions of death

Taglist: @thecavalrywife @hannah-0730

Rio had first found her when she took yet another soul, a young witch taken all too soon. It was sad seeing people with so much potential die so young, the poor girl had only lived till her mid twenties before being brutally killed just outside her own home by a witch hunter. The sight wasn't pretty but it was nothing unusual however what she would never forget was the look on the childs face ehen she walked out to see her morher dead. Seeing the poor souls of the deads family react to their loved ones fate was never easy but with young ones it was so much worse, especially in cases like this where they had no one else.

"Who are you?" The child spoke, breaking Rio out of thoughts.

Looking back down towards the child, timid and scared but not backing away. How could she even see her?

After a pause, not knowing what to do since no one had ever seen her while she collected souls before she decided to honestly introduce herself. "I'm Rio."

The child smiled up at her before looking down at her mum. Her white dress was staring to turn red with blood, it was no sight for a child but atleast the hunter hadn't burnt the body like many would.

"She's not okay is she?"

The kid was clearly smart and surprisingly keeping her emotions somewhat in check. Rio felt bad for the kid, with this kind of response the kid had likely been warned by her mother this could happen and that's a difficult conversation for a kid so young. And she would know, having once having to have told her own child the same thing so so long ago.

"I'm so sorry." Rio replied meaning every word, she may be the embodiment of death but that didn't mean she hadn't felt grief. She knew first hand how horrible it was to loose family, and she atleast had someone to help her through the pain, this child had no one.

She had to help.

"Where will she go?" The child asked, looking up to Rio who had come to stand just in front of her.

There was no point in lying, the child deserved to know the truth. "I'm going to take her to the next realm."

The child nodded, seemingly not questioning why it was Rio who took her. "But where will I go?"

It was a good question. The kid couldn't stay here, witch hunters were ruthless and if they realised earlier there had been a magical child inside the house she would already be dead. "You don't have anyone left for you?" Rio asked hopefully even though she already knew the answer, only being confirmed when the child solemnly shook her head.

"You can come with me." Rio said nervously, she never expected to take anyone else in attempt loosing Nicky but she couldn't leave the kid here. It's going to be hard, for both her and Agatha aswell as the kid who's life was being so suddenly changed but there was no other choice.

The child nodded, probably a bit too trusting but it was good, it made it easier. "Where will we go?"

"Home" Rio replied with a soft smile, kneeling down for the child to climb into her arms.

She held her close as she stood, remembering the last time she held someone like this, remebering the worst experience of her life. The child hugging her back being the only difference, she could hold Rio close while Nicholas couldn't and never would again.

Trying to pull herself out of her thoughts she spoke softly to the girl "It'll be OK, I won't let anyone hurt you."

Rio opened a small portal to just outside her own home. A small cottage in a forest, it wasn't much but the purple flowers outside and the faint feel of the protection spell around it made it feel like home.

Feeling Rio's magic nearby Agatha came to the door to greet her wife, pausing seeing the small girl in her arms as the portal behind her slowly fizzled out.

"Brought in a stray?" Agatha asks, even with the sarcastic wording it was clear she was worried.

Walking closer to her wife Rio hummed, "she had nowhere else to go." Agatha nodded knowing she would explain the rest later.

"Who are you?" The girl asked, finally speaking after just looking around since the change of location.

Agatha looked to Rio for help, not entirely sure on what to say. "My wife." Rio stated, setting the girl down.

Seeing her looking around curiously Agatha spike to her, "you can look around if you want hun."

The girl then looked upto Rio, "But what if he comes back?" So she had seen what she was rather hoping she hadn't. The girl had watched her mother be murdered.

Kneeling down in front of her, Rio took the girls hands in her own. "No one can get you here." "We'll look after you." Agatha added on, putting her hand on the girls shoulder.

Looking between the two of them the girl smiles and whispers a small "thank you" before walking into the house curiously. The fact that the kid was still keeping it together after all she had been through in under an hour was ridiculous. She was certainly tough and judging by the unfamiliar magic in the air she had alot of magical potential too.

Offering a hand to help Rio of the ground Agatha asked, "what happened?"

Keeping hold of Agatha's hand Rio shook her head, emotion clear in her voice, everything she shoved down to be strong for the child now showing. "She was alone. Her mother was gone and she would've been too, couldn't just leave her there. I'm sorry it's just, she, she reminded me so much of him."

Her eyes softening Agatha put her free hand to Rio's cheek, gently brushing her hair out of her face "shh, shh. There's no need to apologise." Stroking her thumb over her cheeks Agatha comforted her wife, "you did the right thing."

"I didn't even ask you-"

Hushing Rio, Agatha spoke again "You didn't have to."

Rio smiled at Agatha, starting at her theough watery eyes, all of the emotions of the day starting to catch up to her. She was so grateful to have Agatha here, she was so understanding, so gentle, Rio truly didn't know what she would do without her.

Stepping closer Agatha finally brought Rio into a soft kiss, her other hand coming up to her face while Rios own instinctively wrap around Agatha's waist.

Slowly breaking the kiss, their foreheads still touching Agatha quietly speaks, "We'll look after her."

[malliluvs]

bloodied lips

rhea ripley x f!reader

After losing her fight, she seeks her girlfriend out to blow off some steam.

word count: 1.8k

(incomplete bc idk if its good)

18+!!

warnings : rhea taking her anger out on you, mean-ish rhea, cursing, smoking, mommy rhea, pure smut, oral r!recieving and r!giving, fingering r!recieving, teasing, edging, slight sadism/ masochism, thigh riding, bad girl good girl type, degredation/ praise kink, rough fucking, strap usage, cowgirl, mirror stuff, somewhat bratty reader, idk what else just really slutty

note: this is about the summer slam 2021, rhea ripley vs. nikki a.s.h vs. charlotte flair, also this is my first time writing smut that wasn't a jokey joke so erm!!! and theres barely any plot, mostly just smut bc.

if you asked me a year ago, i never would have imagined myself front row at the summer slam, but yet i was here.

i watched rhea walk into the ring, she practically demanded respect with her presence. and god knows i would give it to her. i couldn't believe i was watching my girlfriend walk into a ring.

of course, i've seen it plenty of times, but i could never get enough of it. and the best part was that she was always the most riled up after winning a good match.

but, what i didn't expect was the complete opposite. not only did she not win, she failed miserably. i winced at every blow she suffered, nikki and charlotte were not holding back.

everytime rhea looked at me in the crowd i blew her a kiss, that would usually pick her spirits up. but she was far too angry to care about me, or anyone for that matter, all she cared about was winning this fight.

after the fight, i waited back in her dressing room for rhea. i was sitting at her vanity, watching the next fight on the tv in the corner of the room. she walked in fuming.

curses spilled out of her mouth.

"that fucking bitch , using those cheesy ass moves , fucking bitch!" she yelled, her australian accent booming through the room. she kicked one of the chairs, before glaring at herself in the mirror.

i jumped as she kicked the chair, i furrowed my eyebrows. "rhea?" i said, my voice calm as i tried to hopefully calm her down.

she looked at me, but it wasn't the normal, loving look she gave me before the match, it was a death glare.

i gulped, before taking a deep breath. "lets calm down, okay? i mean... it cant be that bad." i smiled sheepishly. "there's always next ti-"

"no, there isn't a fucking next time y/n!" she yelled. " i spent fucking months training for this fight and i couldn't do shit, so don't tell me about next time, i don't need a fucking pep talk." rhea clenched her fists, running her hands over her head as she paced around the room.

i stayed quiet, looking down.

"get over here." she told me, i just looked up at her.

"i said, get the fuck over here, y/n. im not in a good mood." she said, wiping the blood off her lips as she stared at me, her voice eerily calm.

i got up from the vanity that i sat in, i looked up at rhea, she could be terrifying when she was pissed. i took small steps towards her, before she grabbed me by the back of my neck.

my eyes widened as she pulled me into a kiss. my face flushed a deep crimson as she bit my lip harshly. i was used to rhea being a bit rough, but i couldn't help but be surprised when i felt a sharp, burning pain on my lip, and blood trickled from my lip onto her own.

she pulled back, rubbing her thumb over my bottom lip, smudging the blood on my lips. she licked the blood of her lips, her eyes filled with anger and lust. almost as a warning of what was to come if i didn't obey her.

"take your clothes off." rhea demanded. my eyes widened. we had never done anything like this in such a public place, nevermind outside our bedroom. even if it was her dressing room, we both knew that her coach would be in here any minute now to reprimand her.

"rhea you can't be seri-"

"off. now."

i looked down, it was clear i wasn't gonna get a word in. "but-"

she grabbed me roughly. "y/n, im not in the fucking mood right now for your bratty shit. just do as i say, now take. it. off." i knew i should be scared of her, but the wetness in my panties were telling me otherwise.

i knew i shouldn't tease her, but i couldn't help myself. i turned my head to the side and crossed my arms.

"no."

rhea's eyes turned a dark shade of red, she growled. "what the hell do you mean, 'no'?!" she yelled. my eyes widened at her tone, gosh she was such a turn on when she was angry.

"i said no! i don't wanna, i wanna finish watching the fight." i huffed, before sitting down on a nearby couch, ignoring rhea entirely. i could practically feel her staring at the back of my head, her eyes like lazers.

i heard her breathing increase, i was surprised steam wasn't coming out of her ears. i knew she wasn't gonna let this behavior slide, and that only excited me more.

i heard rhea walk out, slamming the door behind her. she was pissed.

by the time we got back into her car to leave, rhea couldn't keep her eyes off of me, she was practically begging for my attention, and i didn't listen to her.

"y/n. look at me." she demanded, she was still pissed about her fight, and even more pissed that i wasn't paying her any mind.

"you know what? okay." that was all rhea said. my eyes widened and i looked at her, but rhea was already pulling out of the parking space.

did i fuck up? no.

i looked at the smirk that adorned her face, she had something planned, and i was completely unprepared.

the second we got back to her apartment, she pushed me up against the wall and gripped my hair, pulling my head to look at her. she gripped me tight, i winced in pain, her large hand was a blessing and a cruse. i felt her hand unbuckle my belt and unzipping my jeans. she roughly stuck her hands into my jeans, her large, calloused fingers tracing me through my panties.

i let out a shaky breath. "rhea..." i whined, i couldn't ignore her when her hands were on me, it was impossible.

"shut the fuck up." rhea glared at me. "you wanted to be a fucking brat? i'll treat you like a brat." she scoffed, a smirk played at her lips. if i weren't so turned on i probably would have punched her.

she wrapped her large hands around my waist, and picked me up like i weighed nothing. she threw me over the shoulder and took me to our bedroom.

she pushed me into the room, standing me in front of the large closet mirror.

"look at me." her voice caught me off guard and my eyes caught hers in the mirror, i felt a shiver run down my back as she glared at me.

she smirked, and started unbuckling my jeans, pulling them down roughly. they pooled at my feet as she forced a hand in my underwear, her calloused fingers running over my slit.

"god, fucking slut..." she cooed. i closed my eyes, and she bit my ear roughly. "you've been acting like such a bitch all day, you wanted this didn't you?"

i looked at her in the mirror, pleading for her to touch me. every touch of hers felt like heaven, and i needed more.

she scoffed. "what do you want?" she raised her chin up, tilting her head. god, i loved when she did that.

my words caught in my throat, i felt her thumb slowly graze my skin, and I felt my knees become weak.

"use your words." her voice was husky and demanding.

"i... i..." my words didn't seem to want to come out of my mouth.

rhea began to get frustrated, she pulled her hand out of my underwear, and gripped my waist, pulling it towards her. she roughly pushed me against the mirror, her hands the only things holding me up as my cheek smushed against the glass.

my heavy breath fogged up the mirror, as I looked back towards rhea, whos grinded her hips against me. "tell me what you want." she repeated, her hand inching up my shirt before roughly gripping one of my breasts.

i let out a surprised yelp. "rhea... i... i want you... please..." i begged, my voice was hoarse and whiny, i wasn't proud of it but at this point i couldn't care less.

"im pissed, y/n." she growled. "i wanted you to help me, and instead you gave me back talk then completely ignored me. do you really expect me to touch you?" she said, her voice was mocking, i could practically hear her smirk.

i should be mad, but i couldn't help the wet spot that formed on my underwear.

rhea let out a groan of frustration, sitting on the bed. she was manspreading as she glared at me, leaning back on her arms.

"so do it yourself."

my breath hitched at her words. "rhea... please i can't-"

"do it. you really wanna keep pissing me off?" she threatened.

i let out a small sigh, my eyes glazed over. she pulled me down on her leg, looking up at me.

i bit my lip, looking at her. her words repeated in my head

do you really wanna keep pissing me off?

my cooter wooter ached at her words. i moved my hips, moving them back and forth on her thigh.

i bit my lip and let out a soft moan.

she sat there watching me, clearly amused by the predicament she put me in.

I held onto her shoulders, rutting my hips on her thigh, the feeling of her denim jeans drove me crazy. god, and that look in her eye. it made me feel so powerless.

i felt that familiar knot in my stomach, i hid my face in the nook of her neck. i rocked my hips, they began to ache as i tried to chase my high.

"rhea... please... im so close... im gonna-" i was suddenly knocked off balance by rhea bouncing her leg, my orgasm fading away from me.

"i don't think you deserve it." rhea said, glaring at me.

i looked up at her, my lip trembling. "rhea please... i'll do anything!" i cried into her chest.

rhea sighed, pulling out a pack of cigarettes from her back pocket and lighting it, she took a drag and blew it in my face, her black lipstick staining the paper casing.

"go get it." she said, before taking another drag, the tip of the cigarette lighting a bright red as she did.

i felt relief at those words, was she gonna finally give me what i wanted?

i got up from her lap, my legs shaky from my previous denial, my core still aching from the loss. i opened the closet, and picked up a box. i opened it, pulling out a large, black, 7inch strap-on.

i practically drooled at the thought of rhea ruining me with it.

i walked back over to her, she snatched it out of my hand, before pulling down her jeans, she put it on and looked at me.

she grabbed me by my hair, pushing me down between her legs. she pushed it against my lips, practically growling at me.

"suck it."

-

i cant finish this just take this i dont know if it's good or not so erm!

[i-heart-hxh]

Do you think killua realizes the intense feelings for gon are actually romantic in nature? He is still a kid, one who was pretty sheltered in life until recently, so I doubt he has a full grasp on the full spectrum of human emotions, especially since he probably had to repress them a lot as a child/interacted very little with people outside of his family.

I personally think he has at least some idea of the nature of his feelings by the time they separate, though it's debatable to what degree. Even though you're totally right that he's grown up isolated from most of society and his emotions were suppressed growing up, he's shown having some awareness of romance and sexuality (examples: his reaction to Leorio wanting to feel up Leroute in the Hunter Exam, knowing what shibari--a type of bondage--is in Yorknew, his panic/misunderstanding about what Gon meant when talking about going on "dates" in the past, and understanding the potential situation with Meruem having Palm/a woman with him in Chimera Ant arc). His parents are married and he does have older siblings, and he presumably had internet access as well, so those might be potential reasons why he's less naive than Gon.

I think the Palm situation may have forced him into some kind of tipping point when thinking about the meaning of his feelings. Plus, he was the one who used the word shinjuu (lovers suicide) to describe what he was planning to do with Gon, which is a word that seems to imply some awareness on his part. Surely he would have heard of that in the context of doomed lovers, which is most commonly how it's used.

There isn't enough to go off of in canon to say for sure he knows, though--and I've discussed lately how the friends vs comrades crisis within him may be "coding" for him trying to understand his romantic feelings, which would lead one to think maybe he doesn't totally understand, or perhaps he's in denial to some degree even if he does partially understand his feelings.

I personally think he has a jumble of thoughts and emotions about it that are hard for him to untangle fully, and they may shift constantly. By Greed Island and beyond he seems pretty smitten, so it's unlikely that he wouldn't notice his feelings and consider what they mean as time goes by, but at the same time he might struggle with admitting it fully to himself, and even if he has internally admitted it to some degree he might go back and forth on how much he's willing to explore or deeply consider it. It's very possible he has some level of shame about it--feeling he "shouldn't" be having these kinds of feelings about his best friend, especially with how vulnerable even just their friendship can be for him.

Post-separation, I could see him grappling with these feelings and trying to push them away, while still trying to preserve the "normal" friendship part of their relationship. After all, in Chimera Ant arc these intense feelings only made things more painful and difficult for him, and I'm sure he believes Gon doesn't reciprocate. I don't think Killua will succeed in getting rid of these feelings even if this is the case--hopefully eventually he'll be able to express them to Gon in some form.

So anyway, that's my half-analysis and half-headcanons on the matter. I go back and forth somewhat myself on how much awareness I think he has about it, but with how analytical and contemplative he is I do think it's something he would internally consider a lot, so it feels unlikely to me that he has no idea at all, especially post-Palm date. I'm curious what others think as well, as there isn't a clear-cut answer for this. Thanks for asking!

[kanmom51]

Can you believe it's only been 5 weeks?

Feels like an eternity already.

In any case, tomorrow basic training ends and we might (or might not) hear where they are going to be assigned to.

One thing we do know is:

that they are going to be together.

Something that will definitely quieten the nerves.

I've kind of sworn off SM at the moment, after seeing there is so much negativity and just all round yuckiness going on right now. I can't help but wonder if it's boredom or nerves or what not, that has people, once again, promoting doubt and negativity, or in place, policing others with what to post or not post, feeling they are mouth pieces for the two men, not knowing at all what those two men even want or expect of us.

And it's really funny and absurd to me seeing people still doubt the strength of the bond these two young men have. Actually, it's ridiculous at this point.

Anyway, part 1 of their service is done. A very short but also intense and tough part - the transition from civilian to soldier with all it entails. Having to surrender much of your autonomy as an individual and becoming somewhat of a cog in the machine cannot be easy, even more so for those who enlist older, given that they have reached maturity, have a clear path in life, know what they want or don't want, etc.

Welcome to part 2, in which I do hope their placement is a good one, one they will be happy with (as much as you can be happy under these circumstances, of course).

Knowing that whatever may come, they have one another. There to support each other. Make each other laugh, even through the hard times (which I'm sure there will be). Lift one another up when they are feeling down.

And knowing all that, I know they will be ok!!

I need to believe that in a way, and don't come at me for saying this, this ordeal might do good for them (again, knowing they are together and have each other). Getting away from the industry, and even the distance from the fandom (especially the toxic parts of it) can do them good. As hard as it may be, it will give them experience in another aspect of life. In a way, it can even be a time for them to rest (as funny as that may sound). Having a healthier schedule, healthier wake and sleep hours. Healthier diet.

These are young men that all they know is the industry, of which they have been part of for over a decade, since their teenage years . This here (as hard as it is, especially for JM) might be a much needed forced break. To have a rest from the industry. To recharge, distance makes the heart fonder... not creating or performing will ignite or flame that fire in their belly once more. To experience something else in their life. To be treated, more or less, not like a celebrity, but like anybody else, for that short period of time to live their lives like 'ordinary' Korean young men. This can give them insight to things they would never in a million years see or experience otherwise. And it can strengthen them as human beings and as artists as well.

I need to believe all that!!

Anyway, now that part 1 is all but over and they are on to part 2, I'm also hoping that we will get to see more of them on their terms, that hopefully they will choose to keep in touch with us from time to time.

Maybe even together.

I'm really sorry, I feel like this post has been all over the place. I guess just like my current state of mind, lol.

In any case wishing them all the luck in their new assignments. Hope they are happy and content and STAY SAFE!!!