#hopefully now that these are finished I can gain the energy/motivation to work on more story writing!

[thelostrainbowthenovel]

Bios: The Erdennian Rulers

- Ruling Queen Demeter Erdmann

. Age: 43

. Gender: female

. Sexuality: pansexual

. Family: Cataleya(Momma), Camellia(Mummy), Gaia(oldest child), Avani(middle child), Beaumont(youngest child)

. Relationships: Enki(husband)

. Abilities: plant magic(natural), some forest nymph abilities(natural), solar/sun witch(acquired)

. Physical Appearance: slightly tall with a curvy and thick/chubby hourglass build, waist-length and honey brown hair often put up in messy buns, light brown skin with a smattering of freckles across her body, bright green eyes, ears and left nostril pierced, a few tattoos but her main one is done in a traditional style spanning across her chest and collarbones with sun motifs

Ruling queen of the Kingdom of Erdennia, wife to Enki, and mother to Gaia, Avani, and Beaumont. Demeter has quite the peculiar origin, as she was not born through natural means. The only ruler to have same-sex parents, when it came to having their child her mothers opted to go through with the old clay method of the witches, which involved combining their dna within a clay mold of a baby and imbuing it with magic and a spell. While she was born and is still perfectly healthy and "normal", her magic when she was younger was a bit more unstable as a side-effect. She first met Enki when they were children, with them hitting it off very easily despite their differences. She always made him smile and laugh so easily, and he was one of the first to listen, encourage, and take her seriously, with them falling for each other early on as they have been together as a couple since they were young teenagers. Very spunky and a bit wild in her youth, this allowed her to mesh so well with Noelani as they became best friends, going on a lot of fun and crazy adventures together when they were teenagers before their adventures had to end when they were adults for their own respective reasons. For Demeter, the reason was for the pregnancy and birth of her and Enki's first child, who came into their lives unexpectedly when they were still very young but both vowed to do their best as new parents. After their oldest child was a few years old and they got married in their early-twenties, they had planned on having several children together, though their fertility issues had sadly only given them two more children born such a long time after. Though this always saddened them, they are more than grateful for the three children they had been blessed with, and have used their experience to advocate for more fertility research and treatments. She has grown very mature and wise since her youth, though she still has a fun, playful sense about her. Despite normally seeming so happy and cheerful, she holds a lot of inner sadness and stress that she tries not to show as she wants to put on a calm and brave face for her people, but all this bottling up has made her prone to big emotional outbursts. Lately these have been caused by the Blight Flu wrecking such devastation and illness across Erdennia to both the land and citizens, with her taking it the hardest as both her youngest two children and recently her husband has become seriously ill and bedridden.

- King Consort Enki Erdmann

. Age: 42

. Gender: male

. Sexuality: demiromantic gray-asexual

. Family: parents, 2 younger twin sisters, 1 younger brother, 2 nieces, 3 nephews, Gaia(oldest child), Avani(middle child), Beaumont(youngest child)

. Relationships: Demeter(wife)

. Abilities: dryad/tree magic(natural), green/forest witch(acquired)

. Physical Appearance: short with a soft and husky build, dark green and messy hair that falls slightly past the collarbones, medium-length beard, dark brown skin, dark hazel eyes, ears pierced, giant tattoo going down his entire back of a tree

King consort of the Kingdom of Erdennia, husband to Demeter, and father to Gaia, Avani, and Beaumont. Enki grew up in a poor family that lived fairly secluded in the woods, which made him very quiet around others as his parents always instilled in him the importance of remaining guarded and careful around strangers. His first time meeting kids his own age was when his parents were able to apply for a scholarship for him to attend a private school in Avalon, which is also when he first met Demeter. As he had no peers back home he was very shy interacting with kids his own age for the first time, but he always found himself gravitated towards Demeter, as she was the first person who made him feel appreciated and welcomed. Although it was difficult at first for them to become friends, his first fond memory of her was how she made him laugh and smile so easily on one of his off days, with him from then on knowing he always wanted her in his life. Although he has gained more confidence and friendliness over the years, mainly thanks to Demeter's influence, he has remained a brooding and reserved person, but one that still means well. When he was in his early-thirties was when he first starting gaining an interest in and practicing witchcraft, both as he wanted to find more unconventional ways of dealing with the various problems in his kingdom, but also because he was curious to learn this new magic form from stories from his childhood. He is primarily interested in potions and spells with more of a healing nature, as he found the former the most interesting and the later to be super helpful in his work, especially for the current Blight Flu going around Erdennia. When his eldest daughter was a teenager, he was the one that inspired and encouraged her to pursue becoming a witch herself, and was a big help in teaching her some spells and other things as she first started out. Though some people are concerned over his practice of witchcraft with the unfortunate stigma that has persisted through some places, he was close to a breakthrough in finding a cure, before he unfortunately caught the Blight Flu himself and had to be hospitalized and bed-bound.

[theclowntapes]

intro/ entry one

i want to open by saying 2023 absolutely sucked. i think, for everyone, it was a terrible year. but one good thing did happen to me. i'm here actually, for that reason. i'm living, and i'm writing this right now- because of it. because of him. i first started talking to him in august, the month before my birthday. we met online, and i curse the miles currently between us- but he is the best thing that has and will ever happen to me. he made probably the worst year of my life worth living. so many terrible things happened last year, that i will remember and that will shape me into the person i'll be. but the love of my life- my everything, will continue to shape me and to make me a better person. he has given me the wisdom and the words, the energy even, to be happy. but thats why i'm here. i have a lot to work through, and a lot to figure out. i can't feel one hundred percent okay until i get myself together, and figure out who i am when i'm happy, and who i want to be.

this year, i'm going to work on myself. i need routine and i need self love. i'm not a consistent person and i never finish things for myself, but i'm always more motivated to do things if i feel that other people could benefit from them. i've made a promise to myself that i'm going to get better, and i'm going to keep this blog as a journal, an anonymous diary if you will. maybe one day, someone will benefit from it. maybe not. and thats okay, it will be okay. i do hope that someone might be inspired, or perhaps encouraged to commit to the journey of finding themself. i'm going to try to post an entry every single day. i don't have a very busy life right now, so it only depends on my own motivation. i hope that soon, the only reason for missing a day would be because i am very busy taking care of myself. i'm going to give advice, and share things that have worked for me. i hope that this can be a positive thing and never a vent blog. i have made an agreement with myself to try to only write positively, to find ways to make things better through action and writing.

i have written down new year resolutions, and i hope that by the end of 2024 i can proudly cross them all off. i'm not in a good place right now, but i believe things are about to get better. i will not be sharing this blog with anyone unless i feel that they can benefit from it. so if you've found me on your own, i hope i can be of use to you. i don't expect to gain a following, and that does not bother me because maybe this will help me more than anyone out there. on january first of 2025 i want to look back and smile at all the progress i've made. i want to make that progress now, over the course of this year.

this entry was meant to be posted earlier, but it has taken me a while to find the words tonight. i will be posting a second entry later today, hopefully by the evening.

xo sparky ⋆

[symphonicmetal101]

Citizens of the Devildom HCs

Ok, so this isn't my normal kind of post, this is kind of a world building thing, but I think its kinda cool and is the only thing I have motivation to write- so hopefully y'all like this, I have a part two brewing in my head, and it might actually get typed out-

Anyways, I think its about time we delve into what the "citizens of the Devildom" entails-

Firstly, I believe they would be split into three main categories-

Spirit

Humanoid

Monster/non-humanoid

Below the cut is me breaking each category down farther and a bunch of stuff I came up with, hcs of how I think this works- enjoy!

Spirits

- Wisps- these are fragmented bits of souls, usually of lower ranking beings, or cursed beings. Some have enough consciousness to lead people wayward in their travels through the woods or into the outer rings of hell, thanks to legends and myths leading people to believe that they would lead them to knowledge or fortune.

- Ghosts- these guys gain more power the longer they remain this way, however they also have a closer connection with their body the more recently theyve passed. This means returning their soul to their body only works if they were an extremely powerful being, or if there happens to be an extremely powerful being nearby to assist- they go through different stages once their connection with their body is completely severed, which can vary depending on how willing they were to pass.**** Stage 1, they cannot interact in any way with the living. Stage 2, only necromancers and those who actively seek them out can interact with them for short, unsteady chunks of time. (This is like..the absolute last chance they have to maybe return to their body.) They can move small objects, like keys or figurines, but it can be exhausting. Stage 3, they can interact with more living world things, and mess with animals a bit. Stage 4, they can show themselves to the living for short amounts of time if they wish to, or remain invisible. They can possess objects. Stage 5, they can switch between being seen or not, as well as now curse objects if they were a magic weilder before they died. Stage 6, They have full control of their powers, and can possess humans. As their power grows, they will be able to possess more powerful beings, the hardest to do being an angel.

Ghosts only exist because they

1. Dont realize theyve passed on

2. Have unfinished business, and have a need/want to finish it on their own, or they have someone they need to communicate with.

3. They want to be a ghost-

**** in some cases, a ghost is aware they have passed on, but refuses to accept it. They do not meet any of the three things listed above- these ghosts are still grow in power, but are extremely unstable and unsafe for others in the Devildom, not to mention humans. They are exiled to the outer rings of hell until they change, or in rare cases, make it to the human realm.

- Shadow People- they don't quite fit anywhere else- these are often confused for stage 4 ghosts, however they are different. They flow freely between the human realm and the Devildom. They fade into the shadows, and follow people. As they grow more powerful, they can manipulate other shadows of objects. They cannot speak, but between shadow people, they can communicate through touch, but to other people, there is perhaps a type of energy they feel, but they cannot touch or speak. There are very very few shadow people that can materalize into something physical, though when they can, they can be extremely dangerous, or completely harmless and just curious- best to just not piss any of them off.

Humanoid

- Vampires- Canonically, dont think these guys exist if they had an event about it, but whatever. These have your typical vampiric powers, which I'll sum up with shape-shifting, heightened senses, hypnosis, super strength/speed, immortality, and of course though not designated as a "power", fangs. Their diet in the Devildom are compareable to human diets, blood being more of a dessert food, and when eaten/drunk, usually from a common Devildom livestock animal.

- Succubi/Incubi- again, same sort of thing as vampires- ya know the powers they got, I wont get into it if you dont, bc this is not the right kinda blog to go into that.😂

- Witches/Warlocks

ok so heres where we break this down again.

First there are witch-born and witch-learned folks, witch-born being exponentially more powerful than those who just learn witchcraft, though anybody can.

After that we have Elemental, Potion and Spell-based, Healing, Sin-Directed, and Great Witches, which know a fair amount of each magic type, and have mastered two types.

Elemental witches, as the name suggests, study the elements and usually try to specialize in one element, and then branch out. The four basic elements, (air, fire, water, earth), are gateways into learning other kinds of magic, such as earth- metal, or air- poison, etc.

Potion and Spell-Based witches, again, the name suggests, create potions and spells. Many witches do these as a source of income. This kind of ties into Sin-Directed witches, who usually find one of the sins most appealing, then focus their magic and learning to create spells/potions that relate to that sin, however Sin-Directed witches are usually the offspring of a demon and a witch and can usual make people feel a bit o the sin they study just by touching them.

So if there is a Sloth witch, their potions and spells relate to a full nights rest, to relaxation, etc.

Healing witches are on the brink of Devildoms society, almost outcasts as their magic is one learned from angels, but takes the most control and power, thus are respected nonetheless. Do I have a potential Romeo and Juliet story to go with this? Possibly

Demons

- Ok, again gotta split this up into

Demon born vs Fallen angel

As well as Elemental vs Sin

Demon born- they are inherently more aggressive. Early years are a pain....young demons likely being the most difficult children in devildom to raise.

Fallen angel- depends whether they wantwd to fall or not this isnt important rn-

Sin demons- the result of either accidental offspring from the brothers, or years of dedicated servuce to any one brother allowing their sin to slowly corrupt and invade the family line.

Elemental demons- like elemental witches.

Included under the humanoid category would be other beings like merfolk, as well as necromancers.

Demons are also ranked from nobility down to imps.

Monster

There are way too many to get into for this, but there is no way everyone is humanoid in the Devildom- thus allowing hell to be a home for goblins, trolls, gorgons, monsters without names, SCPs/other cryptids- literally, everything. If yall want me to get more into it, then let me know- I think I might be able too-

[toothpaste-dragon]

Over the past couple years, my original story Far From Home has gained a very small following. I’ve had the pleasure of chatting with most, if not all, of you who showed interest in the story, and it was through these interactions I learned that other people enjoyed something I created. Having never posted my writing online, I was extremely nervous to share the first FFH snippet back in 2019...but the response completely surprised me. Receiving such kind compliments, encouragement, and even fanart opened my eyes to the fact that I might actually be capable of writing stories worth sharing with the world someday.

It’s been a little less than a year since I posted any FFH content, and I apologize for that. But to those who still enjoy my story and its characters - this is for you. Thank you for sticking around, taking time to read my work, and finding a place in your heart for my little misfit alien family. Your support truly means more than you know! 

If you’d like to learn more about the story’s current status and future updates, see below.

Development for FFH has been very slow over the past year. I’m currently enrolled in graduate school as I pursue a career in cytotechnology, so it’s not often I have time to sit down and think about the story. On the off chance I do have time, I usually just collapse from exhaustion or do something that doesn’t require much brain power. This academic program is very difficult and demands much of my available time and energy.

To make things more inconvenient, the lasting nature of the pandemic has negatively affected my mental health. I’m struggling in a lot of areas, especially when it comes to motivation for creative endeavors. There’s only so much I can do before I feel worn out or grow frustrated with my work. And self-deprecating thoughts certainly don’t help, as they often deter me from writing.

So hopefully this small glimpse into the hectic life of a tired grad student is enough to explain the lack of FFH content :’)

In terms of future updates...I’ve thought about it a lot and have decided that I will no longer be posting new Far From Home written pieces in the future. There’s still one scenario I’d like to write about/share, since the idea is cute and it provides a more in-depth understanding of the characters’ relationships (and I’ve been sitting on the rough outline for a while now). But although writing these snippets is fun, they’re ultimately distracting me from planning, preparing, and writing the actual story. There’s still so much world building to do, so many characters to create and develop, so many plots to refine. I recognize that FFH is not complete by any means and I want to take small steps toward producing something that is. Because if my goal is to publish a trilogy someday, I need to acknowledge the fact that this story won’t finish itself.

This doesn’t mean you’ll never read about Baz, Toko, or Gerdie again! Questions/comments about the characters are always welcome, and I’d be ecstatic to do another one of those character ask memes if people are interested in that sort of thing. Plus, even though it’s been a long time since I’ve drawn my alien kids, I still intend to post any drawings here (and any sketches on my doodle blog). What this does mean is that maybe, just maybe, someday these characters will be featured in a full-length novel. And if not, maybe you’ll see them somewhere else. Who knows :>

But if you made it this far, thank you for taking the time to read this. These characters and this story mean a lot to me, as do the people who care about what I create. Your kindness and support don’t go unnoticed.

[syubub]

Hoseok soulmate reading

Let's get the disclaimer out of the way: This is for entertainment purposes only and shouldn't be taken as fact! This is my interpretation of the cards.

Oki. Before we begin I must say... I put this off as long as possible. For those of you who have followed me for a while, you know that hobi is THE HARDEST to connect with and tbh this was no different. I'll probably revisit this reading again at a different time (you'll see why)

So. To start things off... Hope has some.. strange(?) energy. His energy was really vague and weak. The color too is intresting because its 100% not a color I've ever seen and I'm not sure if something is afflicting the color of his energy? Its ruby red but also deep grey blue? Its really strange and honestly pretty but it doesn't feel like the normal color? The color is usually a nice red with some deeper hints but...Its usually a bit more... lively? It just feels dull right now.

It looks like this right now but with a little more red? Its really peculiar.

Now. Idk maybe some shit is going on with him right now? Or maybe bc there was a fuckin lunar eclipse in Gemini last night? Idk but the energy was a little.. hostile. That's not a bad thing but it kinda felt like he was being broody? Its all really strange but he was not very into the reading (more so than usual) blah blah he didn't want to talk and I asked some questions I probably shouldn't have and some stuff happened. Long story short his soulmate(?) Showed up and pushed our foreheads together so we'd have to connect.

I asked his soulmate if they could tell me what the fuck was going on and they said that they don't know him well. Idk if that means that they don't know him well on a soul level? I'll get into this more later but this feels like something that's already been concluded or comes back up from time to time.

"He's pretty closed off huh?" Yes soulmate. He is.

I asked for more info about them and they said May. I was like cool, is that your name or? "Nah" sick is that like you're birthday? "Not really" cool cool cool.

They did say that he deserves better than what he has. I'm gonna leave it at that but hobi is possibly going through some shit.

Now we can get onto the reading part. I do want to say though, this reading felt very disconnected and weird? Just like somethings off and I have a feeling that this soulmate is more of the "life lesson" type soulmate?

Oki. We have temperance, chariot, two of cups, queen of coins. This is a person who is definitely motivated and driven and 100% a business savy human. They are also very likely loyal and know how to balance work and play time very very well. Is well-off (or materialistic) lol. There's a very ride or die energy that tells me this person is the type of friend that will do anything for you but when you do stupid shit then you get a stern talking to. Idk why but it also feels lonely? Like they're on their own journey to find themselves and their path/happiness/self and if it doesn't fit in the wagon then it gets left behind. This person might move too fast and miss out on important things because they're always chasing after something. They take "its not the destination that matters but the journey that does" to a whole new level and they just never stop to enjoy the scenery bc they'd rather get the rush of newness.

As for their relationship. As I said before I think this soulmate specifically is the "life lesson" type and could definitelybe a platonicsoulmate too. The kind that provides you with an opportunity for growth. With the 5 of swords rev. I kinda think that this could be someone from either a past life or back in a less favorable time. The fool card to me makes me thin that this relationship provides a sense of being born again? Its that newness of having a new perspective and a whole new understanding of self. With the magician rev. Its about issues with communication i.e not being able to get across your needs and desires for both of them and a lack of energy to figure it out. I also feel like this was just something that they didn't fix and didn't want to fix. (I'm talking in past tense bc this reading feels like its someone from the past) This card also talks about deception. I'm not gonna go into this much. With the 3 of wands though!! Yay! This talks about progress and I feel like this points to them learning more and more about who they are and what they truly want. They're kinda like lines that were moving towards eachother, intersected and then continued going in their own direction. Its like this time together was formative in who they are as people and what they dream of! And with the father of cups it does seem that over all the relationship was/is (I don't know how to talk about this) relatively balanced and they had/have respect for eachother. This card specifically is about balanced emotions and emotional intelligence and I think that this is what they gain from this relationship.

Moving right along we have the oracle cards! Stand by you commitment, financial healing, unconventionality, socialize or join in and sensitive emotions. The flower cards are from hobi to soulmate and the others are from soulmate to hope. Now. Maybe his soulmate went through a failed business venture that they're recovering from or just general money trouble bc the whole world is being fucked over by a virus. Either way hobi is very strong in the message of commitment (that makes me think that its specifically about business or something they started but never finished) onto cards for Hope. He might kinda be going through the shitty times and his soulmates advice is to not isolate and celebrate himself more. He might be having some issues related to self image or a soul-identity crisis? Idk but hobi needs that good good self care and love.

Now the two unicorn cards. Those are also from his soulmate to hope about some personal shit and I will be leaving that out because its not my fucking business. (Hobi is fine don't worry)

Woo wee lets get on to traits! First for zodiac sign. Earth, fire, air. Possible Libra and Taurus placements.

Tiny cards. Light hair, dark hair, sweet, extrovert, hard working, tall, business oriented, loud, fate, sorry, open, faith, happy, wait.

First off I get brown hair vibes (maybe medium brown?)

The word cards sound like his soulmate trying to give him a pep talk so I pulled an affirmation card that says in stillness I receive. I think hobi is going through some soul stuff and I'm not sure if this specificly translates into his life right now (though I think it does and he's repressing it or hopefully he's sorting it out on his own privately)

Oki oki oki. Idk why but it also might be that hobi is doing work to heal his inner child? I honestly don't know whats going on or if its affecting him in his day to day life at this time but I want to come back and do this reading at a time that he might be in a better energy space?

Hobi is ALWAYS hard to read and its even harder when he's less open than usual.

I'll get another soulmate read from hobi at some point and see if I can catch a "future/current romantic soulmate"

I am confused 😕

Also!! I have a Ko-fi now! I'll drop the link here but its in my bio! Absolutely no pressure but its there for people who want to tip me and were looking for a way to support me! (Also, I'm not taking readings through ko-fi so please don't drop money and request a reading there.)

Ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/syubub

[maxismatchccworld]

News from the Community Stuff Pack presented by SimGuruConor

Welcome back to another deep dive into our upcoming community voted stuff pack, The Sims 4 Nifty Knitting Stuff. That’s right, thanks to you and your votes we have a name, and it rocks! I’d like to remind everyone that game development is rarely straightforward. It’s really kind of twisty, and sometimes a little squishy, and it’s still early in the development of our new Stuff Pack. What I’m trying to say is, this pack is actively being worked on and the information below is subject to change. But enough about that. Let’s get started discussing today’s topic, Rocking Chairs! You, the community, voted on what the rocking chair would look like. This was the winning design, in case you’ve forgotten.

If you don’t wanna get spoiled DON’T read further!

And this is what it currently looks like!

Don’t worry, it’ll look more like the concept art once our modeler is done with it. This is what we call a “work in progress asset.” As you can probably surmise, rocking chairs will behave like...rocking chairs. I know, how daring! So maybe we don’t need to go into explicit detail about how a rocking chair functions, but, suffice to say, it is a chair and it rocks. So, let’s talk about some of the new gameplay surrounding rocking chairs, because that’s where our rocking chairs in The Sims 4 get really interesting. Sitting in a rocking chair is quite relaxing for Sims, so naturally uncomfortable, sad, or angry buffs will diminish quicker. Sims will also gain a bonus to their Knitting Skill while on the rocking chair, so make sure you take advantage of that. Try building a “Knitting Room” with a rocking chair and a stereo playing Focus/Metal music to fully immerse your Sim in knitting knirvana.

As I mentioned in an earlier blog post, Elders will have some unique gameplay with rocking chairs. While sitting in a rocking chair, Elder Sims gain increased friendly relationship gains with other Sims. Elders will also be able to Reminisce on rocking chairs, gaining a small amount of fun as they relax and explore their mind palace. If you’re playing as an Elder while they’re Reminiscing, you’ll be able to see glimpses into their mind swirl around them, similar to toddler’s when they play make-believe with toys. What Elders take away from the whole experience is up to their personality traits, but hopefully something pleasant! Here’s an in development clip of the Reminisce animation, as modeled by this adult Sim. Since adults and elders use the same animation rig they share the same default Sim that is used to model In Progress animations in our animation tools.

Not only will Elders gain unique interactions with the rocking chair, but Children and Toddlers too. Both Children and Toddler Sims will have a Play With Rocking Chair interaction, where they can fulfill Fun motives by rocking in an insatiable furor. Check out this adorable, enthusiastic toddler. Where do they get all their energy?

We’d love to explore doing more with rocking chairs down the road. So, let us know if you’d like to see more rocking chairs in the future! Now lets bring it over to the Lead Animator on our Stuff Pack, HaeJu Chung! We’re going to ask her a few questions so she can give us some insight into what it’s like to be an Animator on The Sims 4. Conor: Can you tell us a little about what an animator does on The Sims 4? HaeJu: Animators create the Sim’s unique movements that show them interacting with other Sims or objects. Every movement a Sim makes in game is individually animated by an animator using our animation tool on The Sims 4. We use our own custom tools that were developed here at Maxis specifically for The Sims. Conor: What are some of the challenges you’re facing working on the Rocking Chair, and how do you plan to overcome them? HaeJu: The rocking chair is a challenging object, we have never made anything quite like it before on The Sims 4. Sims on the Rocking Chair are able to perform existing interactions, like socializing with other Sims or reading a book, while the chair is in motion. Since we are using the existing animations for these interactions, I have to create the perfect sitting pose that will allow us to blend these animations seamlessly with the movement of the Rocking Chair. This may sound simple, but it actually is not. We make multiple animations for each interaction to give the visuals some variance – we call these animation loops – and some of the existing interactions, like socializing with other Sims while sitting, have many different loops with various hand movements and different angles for the Sim’s head, among other things. Figuring out the perfect pose so that rocking looks good and works with all of the existing animations we want to use requires a great deal of iteration and testing to get it looking just right. Once we have settled on the perfect pose then we can start making the unique rocking chair animations, including the Knitting while rocking animation. Conor: Is there a specific animation for the Rocking Chair that you’re excited about? HaeJu: Yes! There are Play With Rocking Chair animations for both children and toddlers that will be really fun to animate. We shared a clip above of the In Progress animation featuring the toddler. I’m looking forward to finishing these animations and seeing them in game with the final rocking chair model. It’s going to be so cute! Conor: What is your favorite feature you have ever worked on in The Sims 4? HaeJu: My favorite feature right now is the Murphy Bed in The Sims 4 Tiny Living Stuff Pack. It was difficult to animate. Like the rocking chair, we hadn’t done anything like it before on The Sims 4, so it was challenging. I enjoyed taking on this challenge, and it was really fun to animate, especially the failure animation where the Sim gets squished by the bed. That’s for all now! Please keep watching the forums, I’ll have another deep dive for you soon. Stay safe and keep gaming. ~ SimGuruConor

[thesims4blogger]

The Sims 4 Nifty Knitting: Rocking Chair Deep Dive

SimGuruConnor has released a forum post detailing Rocking Chairs from The Sims 4 Nifty Knitting Stuff!

Welcome back to another deep dive into our upcoming community voted stuff pack, The Sims 4 Nifty Knitting Stuff. That’s right, thanks to you and your votes we have a name, and it rocks!

I’d like to remind everyone that game development is rarely straightforward. It’s really kind of twisty, and sometimes a little squishy, and it’s still early in the development of our new Stuff Pack. What I’m trying to say is, this pack is actively being worked on and the information below is subject to change. But enough about that. Let’s get started discussing today’s topic, Rocking Chairs!

You, the community, voted on what the rocking chair would look like. This was the winning design, in case you’ve forgotten.

And this is what it currently looks like!

Don’t worry, it’ll look more like the concept art once our modeler is done with it. This is what we call a “work in progress asset.”

As you can probably surmise, rocking chairs will behave like…rocking chairs. I know, how daring! So maybe we don’t need to go into explicit detail about how a rocking chair functions, but, suffice to say, it is a chair and it rocks.

So, let’s talk about some of the new gameplay surrounding rocking chairs, because that’s where our rocking chairs in The Sims 4 get really interesting.

Sitting in a rocking chair is quite relaxing for Sims, so naturally uncomfortable, sad, or angry buffs will diminish quicker. Sims will also gain a bonus to their Knitting Skill while on the rocking chair, so make sure you take advantage of that. Try building a “Knitting Room” with a rocking chair and a stereo playing Focus/Metal music to fully immerse your Sim in knitting knirvana.

As I mentioned in an earlier blog post, Elders will have some unique gameplay with rocking chairs. While sitting in a rocking chair, Elder Sims gain increased friendly relationship gains with other Sims. Elders will also be able to Reminisce on rocking chairs, gaining a small amount of fun as they relax and explore their mind palace. If you’re playing as an Elder while they’re Reminiscing, you’ll be able to see glimpses into their mind swirl around them, similar to toddler’s when they play make-believe with toys. What Elders take away from the whole experience is up to their personality traits, but hopefully something pleasant! Here’s an in development clip of the Reminisce animation, as modeled by this adult Sim. Since adults and elders use the same animation rig they share the same default Sim that is used to model In Progress animations in our animation tools.

Not only will Elders gain unique interactions with the rocking chair, but Children and Toddlers too. Both Children and Toddler Sims will have a Play With Rocking Chair interaction, where they can fulfill Fun motives by rocking in an insatiable furor. Check out this adorable, enthusiastic toddler. Where do they get all their energy?

We’d love to explore doing more with rocking chairs down the road. So, let us know if you’d like to see more rocking chairs in the future! Now lets bring it over to the Lead Animator on our Stuff Pack, HaeJu Chung! We’re going to ask her a few questions so she can give us some insight into what it’s like to be an Animator on The Sims 4. Conor: Can you tell us a little about what an animator does on The Sims 4? HaeJu: Animators create the Sim’s unique movements that show them interacting with other Sims or objects. Every movement a Sim makes in game is individually animated by an animator using our animation tool on The Sims 4. We use our own custom tools that were developed here at Maxis specifically for The Sims. Conor: What are some of the challenges you’re facing working on the Rocking Chair, and how do you plan to overcome them? HaeJu: The rocking chair is a challenging object, we have never made anything quite like it before on The Sims 4. Sims on the Rocking Chair are able to perform existing interactions, like socializing with other Sims or reading a book, while the chair is in motion. Since we are using the existing animations for these interactions, I have to create the perfect sitting pose that will allow us to blend these animations seamlessly with the movement of the Rocking Chair. This may sound simple, but it actually is not. We make multiple animations for each interaction to give the visuals some variance – we call these animation loops – and some of the existing interactions, like socializing with other Sims while sitting, have many different loops with various hand movements and different angles for the Sim’s head, among other things. Figuring out the perfect pose so that rocking looks good and works with all of the existing animations we want to use requires a great deal of iteration and testing to get it looking just right. Once we have settled on the perfect pose then we can start making the unique rocking chair animations, including the Knitting while rocking animation. Conor: Is there a specific animation for the Rocking Chair that you’re excited about? HaeJu: Yes! There are Play With Rocking Chair animations for both children and toddlers that will be really fun to animate. We shared a clip above of the In Progress animation featuring the toddler. I’m looking forward to finishing these animations and seeing them in game with the final rocking chair model. It’s going to be so cute! Conor: What is your favorite feature you have ever worked on in The Sims 4? HaeJu: My favorite feature right now is the Murphy Bed in The Sims 4 Tiny Living Stuff Pack. It was difficult to animate. Like the rocking chair, we hadn’t done anything like it before on The Sims 4, so it was challenging. I enjoyed taking on this challenge, and it was really fun to animate, especially the failure animation where the Sim gets squished by the bed. That’s for all now! Please keep watching the forums, I’ll have another deep dive for you soon. Stay safe and keep gaming. ~ SimGuruConor

[ranaeissance]

I created a studyblr over the summer and was really excited to do well in my first year of college, but now that I'm actually in school I have no motivation to do my work anymore and it's preventing me from actually posting anything. Do you have any advice on how to get more motivated?

hello anon and welcome to studyblr! hmm how to get more motivated in what respect? posting on studyblr or doing work? or just motivation in general... either way i’ll try to address everything in the context of studying

gaining and maintaining motivation

motivation is extremely hard to maintain and is not lasting, that being said, i won’t be quick to recommend disciplining yourself because even that is harder if ‘re struggling to find motivation in the first place. however, you can make small changes that can contribute to better discipline and work ethic! these are just some little tips to make you motivated and hopefully improve your work ethic~

motivation

find something new and interesting to be excited about in your work - honestly, sometimes studying can be dreadful but if you try and find something to be excited then you’ll be much more eager to learn! finding joy in the little things will help you immensely. whether that be being excited at the thought of learning a new formula, teaching your stuffed animal a new concept, playing with new stationery or reading a new poem for class, looking forward to something will keep you on your toes. learning is exciting!

set goals for yourself - these will help in keeping you accountable and having something to work towards. they don’t have to be straight-forward but they do have to be achieveable, manageable, specific and realistic (i can elaborate more on this / goal setting in general if you’d like). along with your goal add the reason why you want to achieve it to increase the likelihood of you actually doing it.

Goal:

What: Finish The Picture of Dorian Gray by the end of the month

When: in two weeks

How: by reading # of chapters / # of minutes daily

Why: So I can fangirl to my friend about it and finally understand all the shitposts I see on my dashboard

try to find a study buddy or someone to hold you accountable - learning with someone makes the entire experience more fun!! so, if you can, befriend someone in your class or even find someone online to study with. even if you don’t share the same classes / course, you’ll still be able to talk with each other about your achievements, struggles, tips, advices, materials and resources~ this also applies with making studyblr friends!

share to others - relating back to the previous point, express your achievements and struggles to others / someone. the studyblr is a welcoming and inviting community that will readily aid you in anyway shape or form. especially at times of great academic success and hardship.

reward yourself - after finally accomplishing your goals treat yourself to something nice! i like to just lie on my bed , eat some snacks or watch films

discipline

sometimes we have days where we just don’t want to do anything. on those days here are some of my tips:

set three achievable tasks, daily - to do lists can bog you down. by setting three achieveable tasks a day it gives you an idea of what tasks are the most important and allows you to make a dent in your list.

track your progress - i like to do this by posting daily accomplishments or writing on my desktop’s post-it notes with the tasks i completed that day. this helps with visualising what you’ve accomplished

something is better than nothing - whether it be 5 hours or 5mins, any achievement contributes to something in the long run. we can’t always operate with high energy but as long as we do something we’ll get there in the end

an object in motion stays in motion - favourite saying to motivate me now (thx physics). essentially, once you get going, you get going.

studyblr

admittedly, i don’t frequently post original content, let alone studyblr content, but i am working on it. here’s some advice and things i also hope to do when posting original content:

make posts in batches - i usually like to take photos in large batches so i don’t have to consecutively shoot, edit and post onto my acc. however, lately i haven’t had the time or resources to just sit down and take said pics so i definitely recommend finding time to do so.

queued posts are your best friend - once you shot your batches start drafting and queuing posts up so you don’t have to post them yourself at a given time

not all posts have to be a e s t h e t i c pics - there are other forms of original contents like masterposts, “journal entries” or daily accomplishments. i like to do the latter two when i don’t have any pics taken so peole know i’m alive and studying haha

queue is your best friend - again, queueing photos (usually reblogs) is such a lifesaver when you go through periods of inactivity. some days i’m on tumblr longer than usual and my queued posts can reach up to 100. i usually posts / set the queue “timer” to 5 pics daily during peak hours on tumblr.

all in all, finding motivation and maintaining it is hella difficult but when mixed with discipline you can achieve anything, as long as you do something. goodluck and wishing you all the best! if you think i haven’t answered your question or would like to further talk my inbox + dms are always open 💞💗

[urflowersdied]

junebug

Long time no see! I’ve had a really rough past few months regarding finding the motivation and creativity to write, but I’ve been really wanting to get back into it. I wrote this piece in January of last year - 2019 - but left it to rot in my Google Drive... It’s not the best piece of writing, I’d say, but I feel the need to just put it up so that I hopefully can move on and post a more recent piece of writing soon-ish. Quarantine is boring me to the brink. Hope you’re all well and can get some enjoyment out of this! x

He had never cared for an animal on his own before, but Harry was convinced that every pet owner gained some sort of extrasensory perception - or rather, a sixth sense - upon deciding to house a little creature. With previous family cats, or even the hamster that his sister had convinced their parents to adopt when he was about 4 years old, his mother had handled all of the arising problems herself, usually trying to keep her children out of the sad aspects of living with a pet. Therefore, 23-year-old Harry didn’t have any pre-existing experience with spotting illness in animals, yet when he woke up one morning and saw Juniper - his little Jack Russell Terrier - not already impatiently sitting by her bowl, tail wagging about, that he sensed something was... off.

Now, two days later and Juniper still refusing to move about more than absolutely necessary (usually she would join him on his morning runs, zoom around his apartment after tennis balls and properly beg him to take her on another walk when he got in from lectures and classes), an immensely worried Harry knew he had to take action. The only issue was that veterinarian visits weren’t exactly easily affordable on a student budget. Sure, he could always contact his mother and request a little support, but he was well aware of her current financial situation and had previously made the decision to help her out rather than ask for money.

It seemed as though the stars aligned for him when he brought up his struggles to Adam, who often spared him an ear to let him vent about various issues. He had been Harry’s friend ever since they found themselves seated next to each other in the introductory lecture to their Psychology degree. In their two and a half years of friendship Adam had offered lots of (sometimes unsolicited) advice to Harry, which had rarely been useful. But this time around, Adam’s proposition might have the actual potential of leading towards a useful solution for his problem.

“Do you remember that girl David used to date? I think…. Emelie? Erica? Can’t really remember. Anyways, one time at pre-drinks I got into conversation with her - wanted to know who was silly enough to go out with that git. She told me she was studying to become a vet! Can you believe? She seemed really smart so I don’t really know what she was doing with… Not that important, actually. Few weeks later Sarah’s cat wasn’t feeling great and apparently she came by to do a check-up for free. Think I’d be able to get you her number if you wanna give that a shot!”

So here he was, stood in his kitchen at 7 am, waiting for this vet student to reply to the text message he’d sent her. Turns out Adam got the name wrong during their conversation and apparently she was actually called Emma, but that wasn’t really of any importance to him. What was important, instead, was that she would get back to Harry as quickly as possible. He was eyeing his little pup nervously, having just spent an exhausting night alongside her, and even though he knew it wasn’t really proper etiquette to contact someone before at least 8 in the morning, he really couldn’t help himself. Hopefully this Emma would be able to fulfill the high praises Adam, and upon inquiry their friend Sarah as well, had sung about her.

It seemed as though she was off to a good start, because no more than 10 minutes later he was alerted of a new text message through the bell-noise of his phone. Harry had been crouched next to Juniper, who seemed to currently prefer residing in the dog bed he had placed in the living room, but quickly shot up and slid towards the device on the kitchen counter.

“Hello Harry! Yes, this is Emma! I could come by and take a look at your pup after classes, which would be around 5. Would that work for you? I don’t want to promise that I’ll be able to do much, but I can definitely tell you what other steps you should take. Send me your address and let me know if that time works for you! x Emma”

_______________________________________________

The light succession of knocks on his front door startled Harry. He had gotten in about an hour ago, after attending two lectures which he hadn’t completely focused on. While waiting for who he was hoping he would dub “saviour” by the end of her visit Harry had busied himself with cleaning the place up and doting on his poor doggo.

As he pulled the door open, some information lodged itself into place in his head. How could he have not made the link before? She had attended some pre-drinks and various night out’s on the arm of David, a tosser that was - sadly, really - the roommate of one of Harry’s better friends. He had never been fond of David, but remembers the moment distinctly in which he had laid eyes upon this girl now standing in front of him.

Remembers how his heart had beaten a little faster, because she truly looked like the sweetest girl around. Remembers how she had shot everyone the kindest smile as she was being introduced. Remembers how he had been convinced she must be mad and incredibly naive, for he knew no other reason why she would hang around his asshole acquaintance.

“Oh, hi! I figured it was you, but wasn’t entirely sure!” Her voice pulled Harry out of his little daydream. He felt a little taken aback, but reciprocated her enthusiastic smile and tone of voice while greeting her.

“Hey! What a surprise, didn’t know you were studying to be a vet. Thank you for stopping by, Emma.”

She toed off her shoes, discarded her winter jacket on the coat rack by the door and turned back towards him. He pretended to not notice the small once-over she gave him, for the sake of not making her uncomfortable before she just did him and his dog a huge favour. “So, where’s your pup? Juniper, is it?” Harry immediately led her towards the living room. Upon catching sight of the miserable looking animal, Emma, seemingly not being able to hold back, let out a tiny coo and immediately moved towards her.

“I’m honestly not really sure what happened. One day she was fine, coming on runs with me and going ballistic in the flat and then the next she was barely able to get up. I’ve never really cared for a dog myself before so I didn’t really know if she was just in a mood or hurt, but her situation didn’t really improve so…” Harry trailed off, keeping his eyes fixed on his dog as Emma lowered herself to the ground. The extreme amount of nervous energy coursing through his body almost made him want to chuckle. If this was how badly an ill dog affected him, how would he be able to deal with his own children in the future?

Hovering a hand over the dog’s head, Emma addressed Harry. “Are you alright with me touching her?” The young man hummed in agreement, willing to do just about everything at this point. “As I already mentioned in my text, I can’t really promise I’m gonna be able to help. I also just wanna let you know that I’ve obviously not finished my degree yet, so I’m not a legit veterinary yet. So I really need you to be aware of that. I won’t do anything that I’m not one hundred percent sure of, but I can definitely give you an assessment of her situation, at the very least.”

Harry was aware of this. It was also the information that his friend Sarah had given him. Emma was still at university, therefore not a licensed vet yet, but apparently extremely careful and trustworthy. And because taking at least a look at some other student’s sick animals was a great way to put all her training into practice, she did these sort of check ups for free. He appreciated Emma’s reiteration of this disclaimer though, and immediately let her know that he was alright with the situation.

And to be honest, had he not previously been made aware that she was still in the process of getting her degree, he probably would not have noticed any difference between her and the fully fledged veterinarian that had come round to his mother’s house a few times when he was younger. Emma had an extremely calm aura surrounding her, which put Juniper - who had been jittery every time Harry approached her - at ease quite quickly.

The next few moments introduced a concentrated silence to Harry’s living room. He didn’t quite know what to do with himself as her hands softly reached out towards different parts of Juniper’s little body, so he started gnawing on his lips and continuously shifting his weight from one leg onto the other and back. This seemed to amuse the girl on his living room floor, because she took a second to let her gaze move from the intense focus on the animal towards its agitated owner. “How about you sit down on the couch? Think you being stationary might help calm the pup down a little bit.”

So that’s what Harry did. Took a seat on the cushioning and waited for any potential questions he knew she was bound to ask him. When Emma spoke up after a few more moments, the questions she asked seemed pretty standard to him. How old was Juniper? What did she weigh? How often would he usually take her out on a walk? Did she still eat like usually? What was her behaviour like when she wasn’t feeling poorly? He answered every question she posed to the best of his abilities, but couldn’t really help and inquire himself after a while: “What do you reckon is the problem, then?”

She gracefully angled her body towards Harry’s sitting form. That was something he had been noticing the entire time she had conducted the little examination - Emma exuded grace and tranquility. She had only directed the most delicate of touches and softest words towards Juniper, and even though she had not made any sort of body contact with Harry, he had also felt immensely soothed simply by her presence. He wondered if that was just her natural demeanor or a way of handling herself she had acquired during her veterinary training. “From what you’ve been telling me about her being really energetic and playful usually, just like any Jack Russell Terrier really, I’d say it’s very likely she had some zoomies and hurt herself during. Looks and feels to me like there’s a little issue in the back of her vertebrae.”

Emma’s explanation made a lot of sense to Harry. Juniper was a very lively dog and often had little bursts of energy that she released by dashing in and out of every room in his small flat, jumping on various pieces of furniture and gliding around the wooden floors. It was likely that she had been a little overzealous and one point and gotten herself hurt without him noticing, even though that made him feel a little inadequate as a pet owner. “And… so… what happens now?”

With a few light pats on the top of Juniper’s head Emma parted from the animal and got back on her feet. “Well… Gotta be honest here, I don’t feel comfortable doing an osteopathic procedure on my own because I haven’t really mastered that training yet, but you’re in luck.” Harry motioned for her to follow him and the two of them stepped into the kitchen. He wanted to let his dog rest a little bit, and because he was sure animals understood the human language more than they let on, he located their conversation about her health to another room. “My dad’s got an animal osteopathy clinic up in Manchester. He’s supposed to be coming down to London for dinner tomorrow anyway, so if I butter him up well enough he’d probably be happy to take a detour before that and do a little session on Juniper.” After taking a little glance at Harry’s increasingly worried face - because he hadn’t ever really been aware that there were osteopaths specialised in animal care and also would any of this this hurt his pup even more? - Emma quickly added: “And don’t worry about paying him. He owes me a favour for helping out in the clinic for free during busy weekends.”

Harry hadn’t planned to tear up, he really hadn’t. Such a reaction wasn’t usually in the cards for him - sure, compared to his friends he was quite the emotional fella, but he was studying to be a psychologist and usually had his wits about him - but the gratitude he felt towards this tiny helper, who had just randomly appeared in his and his dog’s life, was indescribable. Here stood this gentle young woman, who had made time in her probably super busy and hectic student schedule to take a closer look at his dog because he struggled to afford a real vet visit, and who had miraculously calmed Juniper, who had been nervous and in pain, down seemingly by just entering the building, and now she was offering him her dad’s osteopathic services, also free of charge? How could he possibly hold it together in the face of such kindness?

Apparently, his depiction of emotion was a little surprising to Emma. With widened eyes she observed as he tried to get a grip, seemingly not really knowing how to approach this man who she had only spoken to a couple of brief times.”Sorry, sorry. That’s… Yeah, that’d be amazing. I’ve just been really stressed about this and you’re being really nice and just… thank you, really. Sorry.” Harry shot her an appreciative smile while willing the moisture in his eyes to subside quicker.

Catching a glimpse of the digital clock on his microwave, Emma let out a surprised noise and made a move towards the front door. “You’re alright, don’t worry about it. I’ll text you early tomorrow to figure out what time would be good for you, yeah? I’ve got to dash now, though. Got a paper to finish for this class of mine”, she said as she tucked her feet back into the black boots she had entered his flat in.

The last thing she said to Harry as they parted ways for the night made his cheeks light up with a rosy glow. Because he really had tried to clean his living space up well enough before she arrived earlier, wanting to seem put-together and rational for this (as he then had believed) stranger. It seemed as though he either hadn’t done a good enough job or Emma had, in addition to all of her other attributes he had taken notice of, a keen eye for observations. “Oh yeah, I think it’s super endearing that you’re willing to sleep on your couch to make her more comfortable. You seem like a great owner, don’t stress about it.”

________________________________________________

The shrieking laughter of his friends still reached Harry, even as he distanced himself from them and closed the door that connected Adam’s living room to his kitchen. He hadn’t really been in the mood to get hammered tonight, much less to make an appearance at some random bloke’s birthday party, but here he stood anyways. Already empty wine glass in his left hand, waiting for everyone’s intoxication levels to rise so that they could make their way out. The sooner Harry and his mates got to that celebration, the sooner it would be acceptable for him to duck out and return to the safe, warm, and especially calm confines of his flat.

Harry really didn’t pay attention to his surroundings as he was scavenging various shelves for the bottle of wine Adam had shooed him off of the comfortable armchair for. Adam was always a keen but awful host. He didn’t have any quarrels about their group of friends hanging out at his little apartment, but would make everyone else in attendance tend to any arising hosting duties - like sticking your head into the deep unknown of his cluttered cupboards to locate a new bottle of red. When a charming giggle erupted from behind him, a startled Harry turned around immediately. As his gaze fell upon his current favorite person in the world - yes, he was aware that he had a knack for dramatising - the alarmed heartbeat in his chest declined towards a way slower thud. “Don’t scare me like that.” He raised his hand to his chest theatrically in an attempt to garner a repeat of that wonderfully melodic giggle, and succeeded. After a few short seconds of exchanging glances and smiles, a thought crossed his mind: “Not to sound rude, but what are you doing here?”

Emma took a step closer to him and grabbed one of the long-stemmed wine glasses that had been placed on the kitchen counter by Sarah earlier in the evening. “Honestly, not completely sure. Adam - he’s your friend, right? - texted me out of the blue and so did Sarah. Said that even though I’m, and I quote, ‘thankfully’ not seeing David anymore I’m still invited to hang out with the gang so… Here I am, I guess.” The bright smile which appeared on her face was almost enough to lessen the annoyance rising up Harry’s throat. Almost.

No matter how hard he tried to keep mum, the endeared exclamations about his new acquaintance just broke past the barrier his lips had tried to keep aloft. Sitting in another early morning lecture, Adam had asked how the meeting with “little miss doctor” had gone - because of course that nosy shit was going to pester him about it - and Harry just… erupted. Had entertained his friend’s digs for information and explained how much of a calming effect the vet-in-training had supplied not only to his dog but him as well. How (pleasantly) surprised he had been to learn that he actually kind of knew the woman that appeared by his front door. And Harry didn’t really regret bringing Adam up to speed on that first meeting - he had arranged it, had he not? -, but rather he was embarrassed by his retelling of the following evening.

Emma and her dad had knocked on his door shortly after 6, excuses spilling from the woman’s lips about her class had run late and the older man slightly eyeing up Harry from behind his daughter’s body blocking the doorway. After a few initial moments of awkwardness, which Harry wasn’t really sure of why they had arisen, the trio moved towards Juniper’s sleepy figure, still located in the living room.

While her father went to work on his new patient - and now Harry was aware from whom the girl standing next to him had inherited her vast amount of calmness - Emma turned towards its owner. “She’ll be back to knocking into all your furniture during her zoomies in no time.” And man, had Harry felt assured by these softly spoken words.

During the whole procedure Harry fought a little battle in his mind. He didn’t really know this girl at all, did he? Hadn’t interacted much with Emma other than run-ins with her latched onto David’s arm - he had thought about that relationship quite a lot the previous night and he really could not come to a logical conclusion as to how that had established itself, but he was grateful that she seemed to have seen the light and dumped him a while back - and her visit to his sick dog which had taken place a mere 25 hours back. Yet she had displayed such an openness to him, that he just felt incredibly indebted to her.

He had wanted to repay her in some way, and perhaps selfishly use that opportunity to spend more time in her enchanting presence, but with her father there he could not find the right words to extend her a casual dinner invitation. And exactly this sentiment had Harry really hung up when he described the events of the past two days to Adam. Harry had wanted to ask Emma out, but in the end just couldn’t gather up the courage and he felt his chance had now passed. Juniper felt a lot better and there was no need to seek Emma’s veterinary advice.

Turns out, Harry’s friends weren’t as complacent as him and had decided to take matters into their own hands, inviting her to their get-together not purely out of kindness but also to create another opportunity for their friend to get off his arse and ask the sweet girl out already. And Harry was grateful, for sure, he just wasn’t prepared. He would have appreciated a little head’s up.

As it currently stood though, the evening was shaping itself up to becoming intriguing.

[snowfall-fanfictions]

Lost in the Woods Ch. 6

Previous chapter

Ao3 link

FFN link

things go down on the fjord, and someone turns out to be a damned liar

Quick heads up, next chapter is the last chapter for Lost in the Woods. You don’t want to miss it ;)

Elsa didn’t know how long she sat in her cell. Was it hours? Minutes? It was hard to tell with the sun blotted out by grey clouds. She stared at the floor to pass the time, carefully studying the cracks on the floor. All the while, she was left alone with her thoughts. Where was Anna? Would she have any compassion left for her? Twice now, Anna was hurt because she let her emotions run wild. Not only that, but her actions caused the whole country to be frozen over. Guilt pooled in the bottom of her stomach, churning it like she had eaten some bad food. Her mind wandered over to Kristoff. Her selfishness cost him his life, something she would never be able to live down. If she was able to live. The guilt inside her spiked thinking about how he died trying to protect her for a second time.

 It was then when she heard some commotion outside her cell door. Several guards, from the sound of it.

 “Careful… she’s dangerous…”

 Guilt soon turned to panic as the cell became covered in frost. Ice trailed through the stone and up her restraints as she struggled against the metal shackles. As the door opened, she released a burst of icy energy, shattering the restraints and blasting the wall behind her. Seeing no other choice, Elsa bolted out of the room and onto the fjord itself.

 XXXXXX “C’mon… Just. A little. More!” Kristoff grunted as he smashed his ankle restraint against the stone bench. Motivated by panic, he had been trying for what felt like hours to free himself, with little progress to show. He needed to get out of here, find Elsa, and make sure she’s safe. Someone with that much hate for themself should never be left alone. Hopefully he wasn’t too late to help her.

 After a few more strikes, Kristoff heard a soft *chink* from the restraint as it fell in two pieces onto the floor. “Thank God,” Kristoff said, grabbing the small broken fragment. He went up to the door as he flaked a piece of metal off the shackle. Once he had a piece big enough to wedge into the lock, he began jimmying the piece in the door’s contraptions. Years as an orphan taught him a few niche skills, one of which included basic lockpicking. Of course, his time working as an ice harvester caused him to get a bit rusty at lockpicking, but it was still worth a try. As he jostled the fragment inside the lock, he huffed as it snapped in two, dropping a metal shard at his feet. Dammit, he thought, Guess my hands aren’t as nimble as they used to be… He returned to the broken shackle to get another piece of metal, he overheard some guards talking amongst themselves.

“Careful… she’s dangerous…”

The guards’ words puzzled Kristoff. There was someone else down here? Who? And how dangerous are they? Just then, Kristoff heard a strange crackling sound from above him. He looked up and couldn’t believe what he was seeing. A layer of frost crept its way across the ceiling and down the walls. He shuddered at the sudden drop in temperature, rubbing his arms for warmth. How was this happening? Suddenly, the walls burst in a sheet of ice and frost. Kristoff crouched down and put his hands over his head, expecting a shower of stone to fall on him, but none came. Peering out, Kristoff could fully see the gray expanse of the fjord. Amongst the gray and browns of the frozen water and wrecked ships, Kristoff noticed a light shade of sapphire quickly darting across the ice. His face lit up in excitement.

“E-Elsa? ELSA!” Kristoff shouted, darting towards her. She hadn’t run off to the north?! They brought her here? Kristoff could feel his rage building. That bastard lied to him! But why? What did he have to gain for lying to him about Elsa? That was the furthest thing from Kristoff’s mind at the moment. As he ran out onto the fjord, the snowfall soon picked up in speed and ferocity, to the point where he couldn’t see more than a few feet ahead of him. It didn’t matter to him, though. He just needed to get to Elsa.

 Kristoff trudged  through the snow and sleet, trying to find Elsa again. Perhaps it was simply a trick his mind played on him. His heart grew heavy at the idea, but still he maintained his course. Suddenly, he heard a familiar voice. Well, it was more like a familiar grunt, followed by the sound of hooves click-clacking on the ice. Kristoff turned to see Sven bolting at him with a large grin on his face. The reindeer tackled him as he stroked the beast’s fur.

 “I missed you too, buddy,” Kristoff said, “What happened to Anna? Is she alright?”

 “I can answer that!” 

 Kristoff turned to face where the sound was coming from. Olaf’s body swirled around him, followed by his head and stick hands. Kristoff jumped up and grabbed the snowman’s head, bringing him to eye level.

 “What happened? Where’s Anna?” “Oh,” Olaf said enthusiastically, “Well her fiance, Hans, was actually just using her to get to Elsa so he could kill her and become king and left Anna to die until I came and found her. Then she felt bad for not knowing true love and then I said ‘love is putting others before yourself, like how Elsa put your safety before her happiness’ and she-”

“Wait, back up! Hans did what?!”

 “Please let me finish. So now, Anna’s running around trying to find Elsa before she completely freezes over because-” Kristoff placed his hand over Olaf’s mouth.

 “We need to find Elsa and Anna, and fast!” Kristoff said, hopping onto Sven’s back, “Let’s go, buddy!” Sven bolted across the ice and into the vast grey of the storm.

 XXXXXX

Elsa ran. That’s all she could do, run for the rest of her life. Anna and Arendelle would be safe, and she’d be as far away as possible, so that she wouldn’t be a threat to anyone. No more had to die because of her. She attempted to run north, far beyond the mountains, where she wouldn’t be able to hurt anyone, but the storm obstructed her vision so much that it was impossible to tell north from south. Suddenly, from behind her, she heard footsteps approaching, crunching the snow and ice beneath her. She turned around to find Hans amidst the blizzard. Panic jolted through her body as she turned to run.

 “Elsa,” Hans shouted above the winds, “You can’t run away from this!”

 She turned around to face Hans. All she wanted to do was shout “Stay back,” but the words were lost in her throat.

 “Just take care of my sister!” She yelled.

 “Anna? She came back to me ice cold. Her heart was frozen solid! She said there was ice in her heart, put there by you!”

 Elsa’s face turned pale as she processed the news. Anna couldn’t be…

 “Your sister is dead. Because of you.”

 The words pierced her heart like an ice pick. Elsa turned to run, but her legs wouldn’t move. Every part of her screamed out in agony as she collapsed to the ground. All the while, Hans’s words rang out in her head. She didn’t notice the storm subsiding around her, suspending snowflakes in the air. She didn’t notice that Hans had drawn his sword as he slowly approached her. None of that mattered to her.

 Anna was dead. Kristoff was dead. And it was all Elsa’s fault.

XXXXXX “Oooh!” Olaf said looking all around him, “Looks like it stopped snowing!”

 Kristoff reached out and touched one of the suspended snowflakes. As soon as his finger touched the icy particle, it fell to the ground and dissipated. He looked around as he tried to find the reason behind the sudden shift in weather. That’s when he saw her, just a few feet away. Elsa knelt on the ground, her back turned to him while she brought a hand to her head. Just behind her, Hans stood there, slowly approaching with a sword drawn. Panic overtook Kristoff’s senses as he dashed towards the two of them. The cold and ice didn’t slow him down as he and Sven bolted across the frozen fjord. Out of nowhere, just as Hans brought the sword down, Anna stepped in between them, her skin half blue and her hair completely white. As the sword touched her skin, the blade exploded with a fantastic light, blasting Hans out of the way like a ragdoll. Kristoff could only watch as Anna’s skin turned to ice as she breathed her last breath before turning into an ice statue.

 XXXXXX Elsa slowly turned her head. She was expecting to meet her end by a sword, but here she still was. When she saw what had stepped in to save her, her heart stopped. Anna stood over her, her skin made of ice and frost. Every inch of her was completely frozen over, like a statue

 “ANNA!” She yelled, leaping up to meet Anna’s face. Her eyes were still and lifeless, staring off into the sky. “No, please no,” Elsa pleaded as she cupped Anna’s face in her hands. Elsa felt tears fall down her face as she gazed at Anna’s lifeless statue. She broke down, embracing what used to be her sister and sobbed heavily. 

 Now, she was truly alone in the world. That was, at least, until she felt the statue melt away. No longer did she feel ice and cold. Instead, she felt the soft fabric of clothing. She looked up and her heart was instantly filled with gratitude. Anna was smiling back at her!

 “Anna!”

Elsa shot up from the ground and embraced her sister. Anna did the same, relishing in Elsa’s warmth. Tears pricked the corners of their eyes as they looked at each other.

 “I-I’m so sorry,” Elsa choked, “I didn’t mean to hurt you, ever. I-”

“It should be me who’s apologizing,” Anna interrupted, similarly on the verge of tears, “I said some awful things up at the mountain that I shouldn’t have. I was just so frustrated after all these years and-” Elsa gripped Anna tighter than before. Her sister’s warmth was something she could get used to. Tears fell down her cheeks in small streams, not of sorrow, but of joy.

 “After what I did, you still risked your life for me?”

“I love you.”

 Olaf let out a surprised gasp, “‘An act of true love will thaw a frozen heart!’”

 Elsa pondered the snowman’s words. Love… thaw… “That’s it!”

 Elsa threw her hands to the ground as the suspended snowflakes began disappearing one by one. Soon the ice started to fade away as a submerged ship rose from the ice, conveniently where they stood. The sky went from the dreary grey to a beautiful shade of blue as Elsa condensed the storm into a massive snowflake before it vanished in a spectacle of light.

 “I knew you could do it!” Anna placed her hand on Elsa’s shoulder.

 “Elsa?” A strange but familiar voice said.

 Elsa looked over to her right as her jaw dropped. Kristoff stood there, smiling like a fool with Olaf and Sven. He was alive?

 He was alive!

 “Kristoff!” Elsa ran over to him eagerly as he enveloped her in his arms. It was strange at first, but Elsa thought that this felt… right. Like she could spend forever in his arms. A bright red overtook her face from the thought as she broke from his embrace.

 “Hans told me you died!” She sputtered.

 “He told me you ran after the chandelier fell!” Kristoff responded.

 A long drawn out groan interrupted their conversation. Hans was also on the ship, currently getting the shit kicked out of him by Anna.

 “We should probably stop her,” Elsa said.

 “Yeah… in a minute,” Kristoff added, seemingly enjoying the display before him with a smile on his face.

[msftbts]

Personal stylist!Reader x OT7

(eventual) smut, fluff, slight angst & a bit of comedy here and there

Summary: You travel to Korea to start your new life as a personal stylist, expecting nothing more than to gain some job experience for the future, but seven sulky men make it difficult for you to stay in your lane and follow the rules. Will you stay faithful to your boss, or fall into the charms of another?

Notes: Thank you so much for the great feedback and response to the first chapter, hopefully this story continues to meet your expectations. Are you ready for your first day at work?

Warnings: mild cursing

Taglist: @milk-mochi @ephemeral-mindset @the-wild-ego @kwitzee @in-overrmyhead @valensoup @chocoflagcutii

Don’t be shy to message/question/request me if you want to be added to the taglist to get notified whenever I post a new chapter! I update this au at least once a week. 

(masterlist)

Chapter 2

At your first meeting you only got a glimpse of the idols and the other staff that would be soon working with you, regardless you left the meeting with a good feeling. You don’t know if it’s too early to say, but it felt like you were somewhere where you belong to. Like all this time life has been leading you this way. Anyways, you were excited for your first day at work that was going to be in two days. The rest of the day you spent at your hotel, too jet lagged and tired from all the stress the day had caused you. You were actually more than fine to just stay inside these four walls for today.

The next day you woke up early. When you got the job as a stylist you made a promise to yourself to take care of yourself while on tour, by taking on a healthy lifestyle. That means you had to wake up early, workout and eat healthy. It’s safe to say that you weren’t too familiar with that, since your previous lifestyle was a mess. But all of this newness was enough to motivate you to change. You put your gym gear on and went downstairs to go to the hotel’s gym. Luckily enough there wasn’t anyone else there this early in the morning. You got to run in peace. When you tried to connect your phone to your airpods, you noticed there was an option in the bluetooth section for you to connect to the gym’s speakers. Since there was nobody else at the gym, you decided to blast your music through them. The beats got your blood pumping and gave you a boost of extra energy, so much that you actually wanted to dance. And you did. You stepped off the treadmill and went in front of the mirrored wall and started busting those moves out. You do have a little bit of a dancers background, when you were in highschool you used to dance and perform. You went over one of the old choreographies that you still remembered. You were so in your element you didn’t even notice that somebody else had entered the gym. You were in the midst of rolling your body against your hand, when you noticed a familiar face looking at you from further away with his eyes wide open with an amused looking smile on his lips. You froze and your whole face turned red. You snatched your phone and water bottle and ran out of the gym as fast as you could. Once you finally got into the elevator, you leaned against the wall, feeling like your legs were going to give up. Your breathing was out of control. You slapped your hands against your face. This felt so humiliating, why did you let yourself loose like that? It wouldn’t have been that bad, if the person who walked in on you was somebody else, other than Jimin. The one person, actually the only person you didn’t want to embarrass yourself in front of. Once you entered your hotel room, you made a promise to yourself to not leave it anymore. How was it even possible that Jimin was in the same hotel as you? You thought he lived further away with the other boys from the band.

After getting to calm down in the safe space of your hotel room, the next day you felt ready to leave it behind when you finally signed out out of the hotel and travelled to the first concert destination. It was a huge stadium in Seoul, and the backstage of the venue was even bigger than you could’ve imagined. Once you arrived, one of the bands manager was guiding the new staff to their first tasks. You approached her. “What’s your name?” she asked you. “Y/N L/N”, you told her. “Okay, you’re the stylist right?” You nodded. “You can work with Melissa, she is one of the makeup artists, she will show you where you will work today, you can take all your belongings there. Come back to me once you’ve settled down”, she advised. You looked to your left, where a friendly looking girl was waving at you. “You must be Melissa, hi! I’m the new stylist Y/N”, you introduced yourself to her. “Nice to meet you Y/N! Let me show you your room”, she said walking ahead of you. You walked through a long corridor, with loads of rooms with their doors open. You could see how some of the rooms were makeup rooms, some of them were for the camera crew, some of them were just for lounging and some of them were for the artists. You finally arrived into your room, a small room with clothing racks and full body mirrors. “There, you should leave all your stuff here in case you’ll need them during today’s workday”, Melissa said. “Workday”, you repeated and hummed to yourself. “What?” Melissa said with a confused look. “Oh nothing, it just sounds weird to call this a workday. My first workday”, you smiled to yourself. “It’s my first workday too and to be honest with you I’m super excited! I couldn’t really sleep last night”, she told you and she looked visibly thrilled. You smiled, because she looked adorably enthusiastic. You put down your stuff and went back outside to get your next task.

Melissa got her task first and she went back inside. “Y/N you’ll need to carry all these outfits into your room before the artists get here. Make sure those are in perfect shape before they arrive and wear them. Also those bags are full of accessories for them to pair with their performance outfits, unpack all of those”, the manager commanded and pointed into a small van filled with boxes of clothing and dress bags. You started carrying as many as you could to your room at once.

When you finally had them all in the room, you started taking the suits and outfits out of the dress bags and hanged them up on the racks. You sighed when you noticed some wrinkles and dust stuck on them, knowing you’d need to take care of them. You used all these professional machines to freshen the clothes up, and soon they looked flawless. You’ve never seen clothes that expensive. All the details were sewed in by hand. After admiring them for a while, you realized how much work you had left to do before the boys arrive. You started unpacking the boxes of shoes. You had to polish them and make sure they’re stainless. You arranged them under the racks in order with the members outfits. You took out your little box of supplies and took tape and a pen out of there. You wrote out the members names and stuck the tapes on the ground next to each members shoes, so it was easier for you to tell apart whose outfit was who’s. After that you started going through the bag full of accessories. There was everything from hats to socks and all sorts of shiny jewelry. You laid them out on the table in front of the mirror. Finally there was only one more bag left to unpack. It was filled with bottles of cologne and deodorants. You put them out on the table as well. You finally stood up with your arms on your sides, feeling proud of getting that task down. You got to sit down for two minutes, before the manager barged in to the room. The easy part was over, now comes the actual challenges.

All the staff was gathered to the space behind the stage. The manager was giving a speech to everyone about today’s show, telling how big it was going to be and how everyone needed to stay alert and active during the whole day. She also told how hectic it was going to be during the concert, because of the fast pace we were going to be moving in. She also reminded how everyone’s work affected others, and how everything needed to be perfect. The cameras and eyes in the audience can catch anything, so that’s why especially your job was going to be important, since it was your outcome of how the boys will represent themselves out there. “No pressure, though”, you thought to yourself. You found Melissa in the middle of all the staff and squeezed through the people to stand next to her. She smiled at you and turned back to listen to the manager. “I have just been informed that the artists have arrived, and it’s important they get to know you guys and your duty in here, so we’ll do some quick introductions” the manager yelled. You felt Melissa’s hand grab yours and she softly squeezed it: ”Oh my god, we will finally meet the boys!” You laughed at her excitement, kind of wanting to join her celebration, because you knew deep down that you were excited to meet them too. Until they actually walked in front of you, and you realized who you’ll meet again. The exact smile you were so scared of now stood right in front of you. Your heart was pounding when all of the new staff workers started to introduce themselves one by one, realizing you’d have to do it soon too. When Melissa finished introducing herself with a very exhilarated tone of voice, you felt like your heart stopped and throat grew dry. You looked at the boys in horror, not getting any words out while they stood there in silence waiting for you to say something. Melissa poked your side with her elbow and you woke up from your momental trans. “H-hi, my name is Y/N, I’m your new personal stylist”, you finally gagged out while looking down at your feet, too scared to face them. The usual redness caused by their presence was back again. “Hi Y/N, nice to meet you”, they all said in unison. Once that awful round was over, and you got to go back to your working places, you heard someone run after you while you were walking to your room. “Y/N what happened out there?”, a familiar voice asked in concern. Melissa walked by your side and looked at your face of flushed cheeks. “I don’t know, I guess I just got nervous by them”. “Don’t worry, I was really nervous too, they’re even more handsome in real life. Can you believe they’re practically our friends now?” Melissa said. “They’re not our friends!” you said, and realized how harshly it came out. “Whoa there, I know we aren’t going to be like friends who hang out together - kind of friends, but work friends! What are you so agitated for?” She asked. You pull her to the side and lower your voice. “Don’t tell anyone about this, okay?” She realized the sudden seriousness of the situation and nodded. “I’ve been having some odd coincidences with one of the boys, Jimin. He kind of ran on me at the gym” you confessed to her. “Well, that’s not so odd, since he works out alot. Besides you should get used to it, we are going to be in the same tour with them after all”, Melissa responded. You wanted to tell her more, but decided to brush it off, since she obviously wasn’t really reaching your point. “Anyways, will you eat lunch with me today? Meet me in the cafeteria in 15 minutes”, she suggested. You parted your ways when you hopped back to work in your room for a little bit.

The cafeteria wasn’t really anything like a cafeteria. It was just a space with tables and seats, and buffet style of servings. You didn’t mind that though, since you were starving already. You noticed someone waving from the other side of the room and sat beside her on the table. “They’re in there getting their hair done now”, Melissa starts. “Who?” “The boys, duh!” Melissa playfully pushed you. “Oh”, you let out, knowing there was only one of them on your mind. It was stupid really. To keep thinking about him even if nothing major happened between you two. Maybe Melissa was right, maybe it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. He was probably just being nice, but your delusional mind makes you think there was something in his stare. You took a bite of your sandwich. “I don’t have much time to eat with you today, after the hair team is done, it’ll be my turn. Whoa, I’m really gonna get to touch their soft skin”. You made a disgusted face at her, causing her to laugh. After eating and discussing your days with her for awhile, she looks at the time on her phone and gets up. “I need to go now, the hair team should be about ready now, wish me luck!” “Good luck, don’t fuck up their pretty faces, please!” You threw at her and she pointed her middle finger at you, quickly covering it up when she noticed the manager walking in. You chuckled by yourself when the manager gasped and looked visibly offended. You noticed the other staff giving you looks when you were chuckling alone. You cleared your throat and finished eating your sandwich.

You were watching videos from your phone in your room, when a sudden knock on the door caused you to jump. The door opened slightly. It was the manager. “Y/N, Jungkook just got his hair and makeup done, it’s your turn to take care of him”, you dropped your phone quickly on the table and got up from the chair, taking a quick glance at the mirror. A tall, doe eyed, kind boy walked in. He just walked straight past you and jumped on to the sofa. “So what was my first outfit tonight again?” he went straight to the point, and before you even moved a muscle he continued: “I’m Jungkook by the way, and your name was..?” “Y/N”, you filled him in. “Y/N”, he repeated your name to himself and looked back up to you smiling. Your nervousness quickly faded away, and you felt at ease with him. You showed him all of his outfits in order and he kept doing different over the top reactions at them, making you giggle more than you had wanted to. “Okay so let’s get you dressed then”, you cut the laughing. “Do you happen to have any snacks in here?”, Jungkooks asked you out of the blue. “Snacks?”, you asked him. “Snacks! Chips, candy, chocolate..anything! I need something to get my sugar levels up, the manager isn’t letting me eat anything unhealthy before the concert”, he said looking hopelessly into your eyes. You had in fact stacked some chips for yourself to eat later today, but how could you let him down when he was looking at you like that? You smirked when you pulled the chips out of your bag and tossed it over to him. “Thank you, my saviour!” He said, throwing his hand dramatically to his heart. A smile spread across your face. “Be quick, we need to get you dressed before the next one comes in”, you told him off. He stuffed his mouth as fast as he could, getting up from the sofa and rubbing his hands together to get all the crumbs off. “Let’s get it then”, he said. A sudden feeling of anxiousness hit you, once you realized he would soon have to take his clothes off right in front of you.

Chapter 3 

[bounnostra]

endgame 1.1 || dew point depression || SCOURGE || [ re: results, evie ]

Scourge can’t muster up any optimism as the votes roll; they merely sit there, stiff and a bundle of nerves. It’s impossible to relax until everything’s said and done, and Scourge keeps telling themself not to dare hope for a single goddamn thing. Not in life, not in this game, not for things to ever work out alright.

So maybe they shouldn’t be surprised when a stone begins to drop in their stomach at Gambit’s first word --

So maybe they shouldn’t be surprised as he continues and a flash freeze chills them to the bone -- 

[ “Hopefully, if it is Evie, she's... just the mole.” ]

But they are. They’ve always had a dreadful habit here of telling themself not to hope, telling themself not to make plans, doing it anyway and then having it all come crashing down. The second they hoped that if Evie was involved, she would be the mole, they should have known.

They should have known better.

There’s something unfamiliar in their eyes as their gaze slowly drifts away from Gambit to Evie, before the bird has even finished talking. And perhaps they look a little paler despite their blank expression as their mind races with realization, hands closing into tight white-knuckled fists on the table. 

Their chest feels unbearably cold, head fuzzy.

Scourge’s eyes don’t falter from Evie; even as their surroundings are whipped into a whirlwind, they keep staring in her direction.

By the time Gambit speaks again and his words sink in, they’ve started to feel ill. Their nails dig further into their palms, teeth grit together. Thoughts hit them like a hurricane. They think back to the person they were when this game started who they don't want to go back to being, to their newfound belief that they can be better than the cards that were shoved upon them. To all the times they’ve opened up, to the ideas they’ve gotten for their research, to the promises they’ve made, to the people they care for, to everything left they have to accomplish.

( how many times have they had those same goals, learned these same lessons -- how many times over have they stood in this hotel with these exact thoughts? )

Again, fear clutches their chest and wraps around their neck like a vicegrip. 

And still, by the time she finally speaks, their eyes have not left Evie. They take in Evie’s expression and resignation, and their chest twists. The ice within them burns; they think about all the hours spent playing board games and spilling all their secrets to her, about trying to boost up her confidence because they truly believed in her work.

Perhaps this is what betrayal is. This feeling of being ripped in half, torn between remaining fondness and anger -- a want to be sympathetic but an undeniable hurt.

So, when she brings her gaze to the seat between themself and Seattle, addresses them directly, all she’d find in their eyes is a mess. A cyclone of conflicted feelings, everything overlaid with a filter of building panic over the inevitability of their plight.

It’s unlike them that they still don’t react to Ivey’s comments, to the jab at them. And even when she spells out her motive, her prize, all they can muster the will to feel is a distant, muted sort of contempt. If they cared, they would have words, they would condemn her -- but.

But.

They know that Ivey’s a lost cause to even bother talking to. They are the antagonist without a single good point to her hero -- or, anti-hero, they suppose. Acknowledging Ivey will do nothing for them; it never has. What will they gain by continuing to play her games?

Not a thing.

( what do they gain from even listening to any of this, though? if they’re just going to be reset, what does any of it matter? why can’t they just be let go to have a fucking breakdown in private before everything’s gone? )

And finally… finally, the roaring tornado in their eyes settles somewhat. It wasn’t too hard for them to guess what Evie’s reward might be, though her reality almost… feels disappointing. Their fists loosen, and, for a moment, they stare tiredly at the dull crescent moons left in their skin instead before wrapping their arms around themself. A hopeless, desperate search for stability in this flood.

Their nails dig into their arms instead. They wish they had the energy to yell, to approach the two, to scoff in Ivey’s face at potentially thrusting a metal sword towards a living spark plug, to do anything. Yet, any rancid words shrivel up in their throat. What do they gain by saying them?

Not a thing.

So, instead, they level their tired gaze with Evie from across the table -- anger and hurt there, but overshadowed by a fear she so easily would know the source of. 

 All their week-months of putting their nose to the grind, with what to show for it?

Not a fucking thing.

( they suppose that’s nothing new. their research has never gotten far. maybe it never will. )

“...That’s it, huh.” And they sound exhausted, more than anything. “Y’know. [Evie]. With what you’ve told me ‘bout your research, what I know ‘bout you ‘n you know ‘bout me, I’m…” They pause. Looking for the word. “...I’m disappointed. Who fucking knows what the limit of Gambit’s bullshit is… all your talk of wanting to stop organizations from taking advantage of folks… and... you didn't even choose something that would help with your work.”

They scoff weakly.

“...You tell me I don’t need fixing ‘n then play ‘long with all this to cure your own bullshit. Fucking hilarious.”

Scourge sinks into their chair, shaking their head to themself. The breath they exhale trembles against their wishes but still contains enough bitter amusement to drown their sorrows in. They wish they could do just that instead of be here in their supposed final moments.

“So. What now. The two of you get to reap the rewards n’--” Their dry tone falters noticeably. A catch in their voice, betraying the fear that they’ve been trying to not let show. “-- and leave all of us to fucking rot?”

And even the bite in their tone is oh-so-lacking.

Finally, their eyes leave Evie after lingering on her a moment more to stare down at their lap. They don’t dare look at those they care for now, as much as they want the comfort from their presences -- not with the knowledge that they may wake up tomorrow not knowing any of them again and they know their composure’s hanging on by a thread. 

They swallow down the lump in their throat and squeeze their eyes shut briefly.

( they really should have fucking known better. )

[spissues]

Week1

GW:57.0kg

day1

CW: 57.7 kg

Waist: 26in

Thigh: 24in

Wrist: 6in

(guess i was bloated b4(60.3kg))

Breakfast: 40g water oatmeal

Lunch: lettuce, cucumber, bell pepper, chicken 50g

Dinner: 1 slice of bread with 2 eggs, + lettuce and cucumber

Snack: 4 almonds

In addition: water, coffee , tea

After day 1 i was so hungry I couldn’t sleep, therefore i had the almonds. Not sure if I should make adjustments or try to shrink my stomach

day2

CW: 58.6kg

Not sure why my weight has gone up this much.. I was working all day yesterday and didn’t have time to exercise. I’m assuming it’s water weight or I’m constipated so I try not to worry about it! The most important thing is to keep going... In truth I should plan eating less this day, as I’m joining a birthday party tomorrow, but I  would like to be able to sleep.

Breakfast: <40g oatmeal

Lunch:  1.5 slices of bread, scrambled eggs (2??), with crispy lettuce, 2 slices of bacon and 20g(?) philadelphia cream cheese

Dinner: 300mL soup, 1 apple(170g) + 5g peanut butter  

Snack: 3 small bites of cake.. 200kcal?

In addition: water, coffee

End of day note: frick!! I couldn’t help myself from cake at work today, but I hope I managed to keep 1200kcal... I think I should punish myself tomorrow somehow, but I’m not sure how. It’s important I don’t give up now. I ate this much dinner so I’ll be able to sleep without waking up from hunger and binge or smth... Been thinking I should find a model around my height I can look up to, and work towards.

day3

CW: 57.7kg

I know I will probably have to eat something before I sleep so I’m able to... Instead of lunch I will go to the gym.

Breakfast: 40g oatmeal

Lunch: Smoothie ice cream + sugar free soda = 78kcal

Dinner: probz 600kcal of what’s served at the birthday party (scrambled eggs, 1 piece of bread, small piece of salmon and turkey, ice berg lettuce)+ 3 pieces of cake!!!

In addition: water, coffee, 0kcal energy booster

End of day note: So... Birthday party was pretty late so I didn’t have to worry about having to snack before sleep. It wouldn’t have mattered anyway because I had way too much dinner and dessert! At first I was planning on a very light dinner +   1 piece of something sweet, cakee, so noone would suspect anything, and maybe not finish it. I think I went so hungry shopping today, I barely had energy to move and so my body was really craving sugar and carbs by the end of the night. I wasn’t able to workout. HOWEVER. I will not quit. I can still do this. This is my 3-day-curse where I binge and quit. I will not quit. I will keep going and in the end I will see results. Tomorrow, I’ll have my regular breakfast, skip lunch for gym and light dinner and snack... I will just get back on track like regular. It will be okay. (Although it sucks cuz today I could actually see my pants had been getting looser!!!)

day4

CW: 57.8 kg

Aaaa I didn’t gain too much from my binge yet!! I’m going to the gym today and I hope all those calories will go in to preserving my muscles... Still so hungry now I’ve woken up tho?? I’m determined to follow my plan!! I will not quit, school starts in 2 weeks, and I’m leaving for uni in a year. I can keep this going! I will make my end of week goal.

Breakfast: 40g oatmeal

Lunch: =Half a pack cup noodles + 70g veggies mix

Dinner: 1 slice of bread with 1 egg, ice berg lettuce, cucumber + pepsi max

In addition: water, coffee, tea, 

End of day note: I didnt really think i ate that much but looking back it’s kind of hard to tell. I was really hungry before lunch, but before dinner I was both hungry & full? maybe full on water? I was feeling sort of sick and didn’t want to eat but I needed my mom to see me eat a meal today, she’s acting suspicious. I assume I’ll gain my weight from yesterday tomorrow, especially since I can’t find my gym card and can’t go to the gym and only walked a lil less than 7k steps today. But as long as I stay on track I still have hope to hit my week goal by the end of the week!

day5

CW: 58.0 kg

As expected I did gain a lil bit of weight, even though I followed my plan yesterday. I’m hoping it’s water weight, and will still follow my plan today for results!

Breakfast: Oatmeal 40g w water 

Lunch: 1 slice of bread, scrambled eggs (2?) , 2slices of bacon, 10g cream cheese

Dinner: 1 large slice of pizza w 1tbsp dressing

Snacks: 1 small piece of cake(but spit out and not swallowed) , 500mL sugar free soda= 10kcal, cheese from pizza buns 20g? + 5 pieces of chips

In addition: water, coffee, tea

End of day note: Aaaaa.binge.sadz. totally exceeded 1200kcals.gots to keep going, but what makes things worse is that i’m at my dads now and don’t have a scale... I won’t be able to weigh myself until wednesday :’( Don’t know how i’ll keep my motivation up then... I will try my best! If i just keep going I’ll be able to wear huge sweaters in december...

day6

CW: ???

I’m at my dad’s!!!

Breakfast: Oatmeal 40g w water

Lunch:  lettuce, cucumber, bell pepper, chicken 50g

Dinner: 3 small pieces of homemade pizza, small homemade pizza bun

Snack: lil chocolate=150kcal, lil cupcake topping=200kcal, pizza dough + 30?g cheese, 15 chips

In addition: water, coffee, pepsi max

End of day note: :(. cravings. have to learn to fightem. At least I’m at my mom’s now and will be able to weigh myself tomorrow for motivation.

day7

CW:57.9kg

1 week ago I weighed 60.3 kg, so I’ve sort of lost 2.4kg since that. But actually I lost 2.6kg overnight, and even though it was probz  water weight or smth, this sort of feels disappointing. At least I’ve sort of maintained that weight, but I find it hard to believe I’ll lose 0.9kg over tomorrow, so I probz won’t reach my goal for the week. Nevertheless, I’ll have to keep trying today, and try to eat less. Today I’ll be superr-aware not to snack in between my meals like I did yesterday, and eat only in the presence of my mom. If my mom wants me to eat but I’m not feeling hungry, I’ll say I’m sick or smth and have smth small instead, we bought 95kcal musli bars yesterday.

Breakfast: 2 small slices home made grain bread + 1 slice gouda + 1 slice brown cheese + 10g butter + 1/4 cup lettuce + 4 slices of cucumber

Lunch: Family dinner, only 1 plate! = 1 hamburger (1 patty, 1bread, 1/2cup lettuce + 4 slices of cucumber) + dessert= 50g mango

Dinner: Chia pudding: 1dL almond milk + 2tbsp chia seeds 

Snack: 95kcal muslibar, ‘3-400 kcals of small bites of cake+bread+chips

In addition: water, coffee, pepsi max , tea

End of day note: Well. I was not able to avoid snacking. I think the problem is having nothing to do after eating a meal boosts my cravings. Also I went for a mountain hike after breakfast w my mom today. I didn¨t have any energy and almost cried myself to the top as I didn’t even get motivation on the way. It was awful. I’m disappointed with the week but I guess I’ll see my progress tomorrow. I just have to keep going. I feel really lonely. I don’t have the energy to do anything, but I kind of want to. Idk. I have work tomorrow I guess. I’m going to allow myself a small scoop of ice cream if I crave chocolate when I’m hungry. Hoping I’ll avoid  binging. Hope I didn’t gain weight. Hope I¨ll be able to sleep even though I’m hungry.

RESULTS

CW: 57.0kg! (-0.7kg)

Waist: 25.6 in (-0.4)

Thigh: 23 in (-1in) each

Wrist: 6 in

So I just woke up and omg. I really wasn’t sure if I made it!  This is just what I needed to keep going. Hopefully I’ll make smarter choices and binge less next week, and get even more results. I’m really happy about my thighs since they are huge and I lost 1 whole inch. I thought they seemed smaller in the mirror but I wasn’t sure- overall I’m really happy I made my first week goal and will continue :)

[roseymc-blog1]

If It Were Any Other Sneaker Store In America...

I went to the mall yesterday to get a break from editing projects back to back to back. Each project I share is like giving birth to a different part of me. I’m able to be in a creative space that will hopefully inspire and impact those who come in contact with it. Creating, editing, and sharing a project takes more energy than people realize. When someone trusts me with a vision, I have to make sure I deliver- so no matter how many times I have to come back to the drawing board, or what time I get to stop editing to maybe take a nap & get rest for the rest of my life & obligations, I will. The latest project I worked on means a lot to me because it’s for my friend Mally.

I had to put up a wall to keep my emotions from overflowing into this project. I wanted the love to be felt, not the sadness I still feel about Mally being gone. This specific blog post has been sitting in my drafts for almost a year. Sometimes I don’t feel the right words to say, sometimes I don’t know what to feel.

I'll never forget the moment I got the phone call on February 26, 2016.

I was so happy to finish my internship that day and celebrate with my coworkers at the time, I got a call from a friend saying Jamal was killed. I didn't want to believe it- who would want to kill Mally? Shortly after, I was flooded with more calls, and texts; as numb as I was feeling, it became real for me when I went on social media.

R.I.P. Jamal Gaines

it’s been 3 years since Jamal was killed in his sneaker store, East Coast Boutique in Rahway, NJ. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t miss him. I’m grateful for the impact and influence his life has had over my life. I used to smile & entertain the thought of catching up with Mally at our 10 year high school reunion, now I focus on the influence I have on others & how I can improve lives each day.

The key is to always be yourself. Find what you’re most passionate about and pursue that. Never Give Up!

When I got to the mall, my friend asked if I wanted to visit Mally’s store. East Coast Boutique in Rahway, NJ has grown in to Clientelle in Edison, NJ. I kind of hesitated to go because everyday for the past week, I’ve been editing for Mally’s event and revisiting his life. Only that morning, I was done editing, and my emotional wall was coming down. I went in and started to look at the sneakers, a few seconds later I felt my eyes get watery but I wanted to keep it together & enjoy that moment. I looked around at what Mally’s dream had become and couldn’t hold it in any longer. i asked my friend if we could go because I’m getting emotional. I hadn’t taken a step out of the store before the tears just started flowing.

And I didn’t stop them, the old me definately wouldn’t have been caught crying in public, but I didn’t care about what other people saw. I’m still grieving, and I’m in a place where I’m no longer holding back my emotions.

If it were any other sneaker store in America, I wouldn’t have gotten emotional. When I moved to Rahway in the sixth grade, I had no option but to make new friends. I met Mally when he was a boy, to see his dreams come into fruition as a man, knowing the amount of passion, determination and hustle that went into it as an outsider looking in, I couldn’t hold back anymore.

I’m grateful that his story is being retold on a bigger platform each year. From his killer being the Donkey of the Day on The Breakfast Club, to news outlets coverage like Complex, NJ.com & Fox 5.

Mally's story has been shared thousands of times over the past 3 years. His life impacts all of those who knew him. He never gave up, and literally fought for his business until the end. His legacy is motivation for anyone who has goals- you can do anything you put your mind to, if you're willing to work for it.

His memory has brought awareness to sneaker and gun violence, and organ donation. His life has inspired people he hasn’t met, and provides a mentorship program in his name. The Jamal Gaines Foundation held an Awareness Expo on 2/23/19 to provide a platform for entrepreneurs & artists within the community.

[kip-quest-blog]

It’s been a good year.

We’re coming up on KipQuest’s first year anniversary and it is with a heavy heart and a conflicted soul that I announce that I am going to be closing this blog.

What happened? D:

Nothing happened in the traditional sense. I came out here for a good time and I had a good time and then I stopped having a good time. So I decided that drastic measures needed to be taken. I don’t have the desire to quit pokeask blogging, or blogging in general, or art, or storytelling, or any of that.

I just want to quit this particular blog and all the other blogs attached to this primary blog outside of my artblog (which I made a sideblog for this exact reason) and Maat’s blog. The disconnect has been months in the making and it is not at all related to my mental health or my motivation for art, or even my lack of physical energy. I’d just rather be doing literally anything else and that’s a really really bad thing for a long term project.

I tried everything I could think of to get myself going again. Memes, interactions, hiatus, total disconnect from Tumblr, a different, less stressful blog. I tried a lot. And it didn’t work. Ideas just fall flat and die sometimes so I am taking my own advice and just doing what I want to do.

Where are you going?

I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to write a blog from start to end. I’m going to have a plan. I’m going to reevaluate myself and my life choices. I’m going to do something self-indulgent and something that I will be passionate about, even if I’m just a cliched and tropey mess. I don’t know what the blog will be or the format, or the style, or even the name. I don’t know anything right now.

I don’t even know if I’ll have an answer for that question anytime soon. I will, however, be on my artblog, drawing art and dumping it there every once in a while. I’ll still be drawing pokemon like a damn nerd and I will still love it. I will probably take all the art prompts I have stockpiled and go through them as I figure out what the fresh hell I am going to do.

I’ll still be on this primary blog while I work on my other things. All the memes will be posted on my artblog as I finish them. (Though I run mostly on a queue.)

How can we reach you?

Please for the love of god, follow me on Twitter. Interact with me on Twitter because 1v1 convos are not happening and that’s because I’m busy all the time with other things. Twitter is where you can see my hilariously awful jokes and updates that get pruned out so my art is the main attraction and I can still have my fun.

My discord is not open because it’s going to be the same deal. 1v1 convos are just not on my agenda unless you’re alright with me never speaking or just saying the same tired things all the time. (i’m tired/busy/sleepy/busy) Maybe someday I’ll be in a group discord where I can talk to a lot of lovely people at the same time. (I’m already mod in one, but it has been capped for now.)

Will you tell us what your new blog is when it’s made?

Maybe. I won’t try to use this blog to promote my new one because I feel that it is disingenuous to use this thing I didn’t finish to promote something I hopefully will. Pride? It’s more like guilt. I’d hate to be a disappointment again. I’d hate to disappoint you again.

What about this story?

I can give you the very short version of what I had originally intended for Kippy’s KipQuest under the cut if you want to know the story at the most surface level. There, you will see my incredible lack of planning. I will not elaborate much more than this in the interest of not writing a novel. I apologize that all the nuance is gone. Rip all the worldbuilding.

Just in case, you decide to not read under the cut (it’s all story stuff anyway) I wanted to say thank you for all the good times. I learned a lot about art, myself, and commitment. I asked a lot of questions to a lot of people and learned so much about others. It was fun while it lasted. This is not the last you will see of me. But this will likely be the last update post I make on this blog.

You know what they say, right? Better luck next time.

Kippy would have made their internal struggle known to their mother that they didn’t know whether to pick a boy name (Skipper after Amelia’s father) or a girl name (Pankaja which is a name related to soil though the language of origin escapes me). Kippy’s mother, Amelia, assured them that no matter what they ultimately decided, it was their choice to make and that she would be proud of her little kipper.

Kippy, who was born male, chose Pankaja as her official name but still likes Kippy as a nickname. She then takes on female pronouns and begins to make her way into the world at large. During this time, Jalon, a Honchkrow leader of the village Kippy lives in, has her put on a team prematurely because Jalon does not like that Baaba challenges his authority.

Baaba confronts the Grand Psion - a sort of gauge for an individual’s potential - and demands that he tell the truth about Kippy’s potential. The Grand Psion, who was most certainly lying about Kippy’s abilities at the request of Amelia, claims ignorance and Baaba doesn’t buy it, so he storms off with renewed vigor to get Kippy trained in the only way he knew how.

Amelia has the Grand Psion lie about Kippy’s potential because Kippy was born a Bad Egg because Amelia had a lot of trouble with having children. Amelia had a number of previous attempts with her mate, Armament - who was a Garchomp that died in the line of duty - but they all either miscarried or just did not hatch when they were supposed to. She begged the Grand Psion to lie about Kippy so Kippy wouldn’t get herself killed in a military life. Kippy never finds this out.

Kippy is paired with Pepin, a Buneary who failed to live up to his family’s astronomical expectations, and Pax, a Swablu who hates being a Priest and fulfilling the role of a “healer” despite having the ability to use Heal Pulse. The three of them are sent off on a mission that was not meant for them to complete, due to a mix up between assignments.

They end up delving into a cavern and finding evidence of humans existing as well as the Red and Blue Orbs and the Meteorite, which were placed in this deep cavern to keep Columbia, a radically violent and nihilistic Origin Jirachi, from continuing to hunt down and slaughter other Jirachi to gain their power.

Kippy releases Columbia, who very nearly kills the three of them on sight and disappears into the Realm of the Fairies, who have begun preparations to make an attempt at truce.

Bellatrix, who had saved Kippy and Arimus from the approaching Fairies in the beginning, ended up returning to face those approaching intruders head on with her partner, Ronnie. Ronnie is a Gardevoir who did not gain the Fairy typing when the original Blight swept the land. Nobody knows why this was, but that is the only reason she is accepted in the Valley of Darkness.

That Fairy party was a party sent by the highest order of fairy nobles to attempt a truce with the smaller neighboring land before a hopeful collaboration to unify with the Land of Dragons. The Prince of the Fairies was sent as a means of instilling an element of trust, but Bellatrix doesn’t believe that the instigators of this divisive conflict have any positive intentions in mind. She mega evolves, kills most of those present on both sides, and flees into the forest, where she succumbs to the dangerous power that mega evolution entails and falls into madness fueled only by fury and rage. Ronnie survives only because the Fairy Prince, Adelaide, stabilized her.

When Kippy and company return to the village, Jalon panics because he assumed they were going to do something simple, and instead came back with items that belong to the Land of Dragons. In order to maintain control of his people, he accuses Kippy and company of being insiders and mounts an attack using only his Murkrow flock. Pax’s trainer was an Eevee and she jumps in to protect her trainee, evolving into a Sylveon to have a better chance of fending Jalon’s lackeys off, though this solidifies the accusation that Kippy and co (and by extension, their families) are spies for the enemy.

Amelia immediately and instinctually uses her combined strength with Pax’s trainer, and Baaba, to give Kippy and co a chance to escape alive. It is never determined whether their families survived this attack because Kippy never ends up going back.

Baaba finds them in the hills outside of the village. Kippy is panicking, but Pax and Pepin are able to calm her down well enough for the four of them to figure out where they need to go. Baaba says that the Land of Dragons would be their best bet because he knows someone who has clout.

They are discovered by an adventuring party of Fairies, are captured, and taken back to the main hub where all the decisions are made. They are granted amnesty because the Fairies are attempting to make peace with the surrounding areas.

The Fairies are under the control of Xerneas, who is a fragmented and corrupted being that was created by The Bastard Palkia. Xerneas itself is an instinctual being, who has complete and total mind control over all Fairies on this world when it is awake. It only ever seeks to destroy anything that would oppose it, as well as anything that it deems a danger to it. Xerneas had been asleep for a while, but the damage already done had to be slowly undone, which proved to be almost impossible considering that the sight of a Fairy usually meant a fight was going to break out, so peace talks were rare and were hardly ever successful.

Kippy wants to help, naturally, but has no idea how to do so. She thinks that the Jirachi she released would be able to help, so she goes looking for it. Baaba stays close by for the longest time until he is attacked during another encounter with Columbia and is revealed to be a Zoroark. Kippy takes this rather well in the moment, but later confronts Baaba about it.

Baaba explains that pokemon in the area all live on a massive island created by the same Mewtwo who gave Bellatrix the ability to mega evolve. This area used to be a secluded safe haven in Kalos, so many pokemon who were harmed by experimentation make up the population, which is why there is a rather tumultuous civilization in the works. Columbia offers to spare this world if they can convince the slumbering native Jirachi to appear so Columbia can take it. It is assumed that Columbia’s attempts at seeking the native Jirachi failed, and he claimed that he was “helping” the mortals because he is a god.

Columbia is an elder god, but he is also a creation of The Bastard and is therefore, fundamentally broken on every single level of his existence. This doesn’t really matter, but Columbia spins it in a way to make himself look better, and to get Kippy and Baaba to call the native Jirachi. This works later on and that Jirachi is shredded and consumed by Columbia, who then departs to find more Jirachi to consume after flipping all his middle fingers up at the preps.

Baaba does not accept Columbia’s offer, but Kippy comes up with a plan to trick Columbia into a false sense of security. This plan fails miserably. Columbia kills the native Jirachi, and in retaliation for mortals even attempting to lie to him, wakes Xerneas up from its deep slumber. He naturally has a big villain speech explaining how Fairies are indeed evil by design because The Bastard doesn’t care about what it makes and leaves things to fester. Even humans have harnessed Fairy energy to create devastating weapons and this is no exception.

Xerneas arises and takes control of all the Fairies. At the same time, in human civilization, Magearna and the Ultimate Weapon designs are finished and deployed. The rise in harmful energy leads to a chain reaction where Xerneas’s instability directly contributes to the creation of a second, more unstable Yveltal constructed of corrupted energy.

Yveltal flees, spreading devastation and destruction everywhere. The world begins to end and there is a bright light in the sky.

Kippy and co try their best to help, but they are divided on what to do. Xerneas needs to be stopped, but there is chaos unfolding around them as they try to escape the Realm of Fairies and make their way to the Land of Dragons. Baaba has stayed with them, and no longer assumes the form of a Rattata. When they make it to the Land of Dragons, Baaba seeks out and finds the oldest dragon there, a Charizard named Basil.

Basil is upset at how these events have unfolded, but when the gods are involved, it never ends well. He promises that his attacks will be swift, but he is not optimistic. Kippy is worried, though by this time, she has evolved from a Mudkip/Gible into a Garchomp. There was a lot of tears shed and fear throughout this transitionary period, but she is determined.

Columbia has disappeared, but his presence alerted Marty, a Celebi who immediately arrives to survey the damage. It’s too much to bear. The end of the world is coming naturally, so he begins his job to tie up the loose ends and let the world collapse in itself. Despite Baaba begging that Marty not do this, Marty does not listen. Baaba lashes out because he wants Kippy to be okay. That’s his partner. His most trusted companion. And he is too smart to let her go so easily.

Marty explains that it’s better for all of existence if this world dies naturally instead of being ripped apart for no reason. Xerneas must be contained. Baaba asks Marty if Xerneas could be contained, would that allow the world to be left alone. Marty makes no promises, but does hint that their time would be extended, as everything dies eventually.

Baaba and Kippy convince Pepin and Pax to go back to the village to reiterate the information that they learned. They also convince Marty to go with them to confirm their story. Baaba and Kippy then go to Xerneas, who is deep within the forests, wandering and screaming.

Baaba has a special tool that he plans to use in order to get Xerneas under control. They fight, they win, Kippy mega evolves, and Baaba uses a Master Ball to seal Xerneas away.

It, at one point, would have been made known that Baaba is from human settlements in Kalos, where he was born before his mother made a deal with Mewtwo to create this supposed sanctuary. Humans had done a lot of fucked up shit prior to this and his mother was the result of experiments in testing pokemon’s potential. He carried with him a couple of tools from the human settlements because he inherited that human level of intelligence and planning.

Once Xerneas is sealed away in the Master Ball, Baaba explains to Kippy that there is a whole other world out there to explore and he remembers fondly traveling through Kalos a little bit before his mother whisked him away from humans as a whole. He says he wants Kippy to see the world for what it is, a wonderful place, but humans are also not to be messed with. Baaba explains that humans treat pokemon differently and sometimes badly and he wants to change that, but the only way he knows how is to show them. He offers Kippy the opportunity to go with him to Kalos. Kippy accepts.

Baaba also offer this opportunity to Pepin and Pax, both of whom have evolved fully. Pepin accepts. Pax does not.

It ends with Kippy and Pepin willingly being put into customized pokeballs and Baaba assuming the form of a human before it’s assumed that they go to Kalos and change the human world as well.

That’s all ey wrote. Hopefully the next time I do this, I do a better job.

[marinabook]

Music & More

Dear Friends

Holy BELLS! It’s been 5 weeks since I posted. My life has suddenly gotten very busy after floating around like a little lost lamb for 18 months. I’ve been studying some psychology modules at uni, which I absolutely love, and I’m gearing up to test my ideas for my next musical project over Christmas. So, I'm going to use this site as a diar/ creative notepad over the next few months. There is a dream plan I have for marinabook, but I have no brain space right now to think about anything but music and psychology. I’m not sure if this is connected to the introvert/baseline level of arousal thing I talked about in this post but, god damn it!! My brain space/brain RAM can handle only so much thinking!

Today I finished the first term of uni and I felt a happiness I haven’t known for a very long time. I’m so full of glee I’m acting like I’ve LITERALLY GRADUATED (*goes to university once*). I went on a shopping spree 5 minutes after it, as if it were 2007 and I were blowing my student loan willy-nilly into ongoing traffic. Some people on this blog have asked me what it’s like going back to university as a mature student... Well, it’s pretty wonderful. I love using the library, which is in a beautiful part of central London, and I love being around people of all ages from different professions. It’s very refreshing and is a real comfort to me to know that the option to study new subjects will always be there throughout my adult life (The uni is tailored to part time degrees and evening classes, so you can study module by module if you like). I have some essays that I may adapt for this site, one discussing the extent to which personality is biological and another on attachment theory and how useful it is in explaining the origins of personality disorders. I had heard about Attachment Theory before,but after reading it in depth I've been interpreting behaviours in a completely different way. I think learning about attachment styles could be of benefit to anyone. I would have loved to have worked in child or developmental psychology if I hadn’t been an artist. Hopefully I can combine both worlds one day.

Whilst I’m far from starting the next campaign, I’ve been thinking about how I can create a better life for myself as an artist, on a day-to-day level, but also how I can best spend my energy in contributing something positive or helpful. The privileges of making art for a living are so huge, but one of the things that I have always found difficult is a lack of routine, or consistency. Traditional album cycles were very off/on in the past; You made your album, created your visual world, went on promotion, then went off on tour and kissed goodbye to the sweet life you’d scratched out for yourself between albums. Then 2 years later it’s all over again, you’re faced with a big space and you feel strange trying to integrate yourself back into your old life. There is no 'how to' guide to mental health + being an artist. I’m going to try my best to do things differently this time. Some people enjoy the cycles, others work better with consistent medium-intensity work (i.e me). I like to work hard, but not *too* hard. What can I say... I enjoy my life...

Pic of me enjoying life. My kitten does not look like she’s enjoying hers particularly. RUDE.

In between music and creative posts, I might start doing introductory posts on topics I would like to explore more for MarinaBook, to gain a perspective on peoples thoughts and feelings before writing the actual piece (e.g. Millennial marriage + what role it plays for our generation). The motivation for me to write definitely lies in a format where readers can contribute their own questions or thoughts and make the project collaborative and human. Perhaps I could have a monthly guest post on here from a reader on a specific topic... I have a few ideas I’m going to trial so bear with me!

Whether in writing or music, what I love most is a feel of relation and connection with other people in the world. And it’s something I’ve missed as an artist in recent years, just talking freely and naturally with people. It's made me consider what kind of visual message I want to project going forward in order to be able to have more of this. Writing on this site has made me feel human again and I have you to thank for that! People have been so open and supportive. It’s not easy to write some of the posts - each one takes me literally 5 days because I write slower than snails crawl - and sometimes it feels unnatural/uncomfortable to be open. But the responses are worth it. Love reading your messages. Would like to do some talks again with you in 2018 (like the Oxford one last year) focusing more on the topics we discuss on here.

If this post reads like a highly frazzled person who hasn’t seen the sky for 4 days because she just finished her uni exams, that would be accurate. I miss you all a lot and look forward to talking more soon. I’m looking forward to the new year and creating a beautiful new project for you (and for me).

Love, Marina xxx

PS. Here is a little vid of me writing something.