#hopefully I don’t get like killed for this
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“… and be sure to report any further unusual tectonic activity. Dismissed.” Bats finally finished the report. Why was he here? Right the first five minutes had been about the possibility of magic having been used. This really should have been an email he just ignored or left Zatanna to deal with. Bunny girl was better at feigning interest than he was after all. “John, Zatanna if you would both remain.”
Damn the brat. Why did the inter dimensional brat decide today to bug him? John knew he could pop up at literally any point in time like it was normal. It was revenge. For what offense he didn’t know. Or maybe he hadn’t even done it yet. Stupid fifth dimensional traveling.
“… stantine. CONSTANTINE.” “Bugger off.��
“John.”
Shit. Okay first names were bad with the cape. Like find a new existence and disappear off the face of the planet bad.
“Right sorry mate just, distracted.”
“The fact that an eldritch horror from who knows where was hanging off you like a scarf actually had some effect on you? You must be getting sentimental in your old age.”
“Love we both know that if it was weighing on me I wouldn’t be around to talk. You wouldn’t be either.” John had some respect for Zatanna. She was a good mage. Understood the proper importance of a cigarette and a blokes need to keep up appearances. Usually at least. “Got a cig?”
“Those will kill you someday.” The disapproval and sarcasm rolled off her tongue as smooth as the honeyed lies the lass would use with magic. John wanted to quip back but settled for a death glare as the big bad bat threatened to perfect his own death glare on him. Why did the bat have to be such a stickler? Rules rules rules. Rules don’t save lives when they shackle you from good. Damnit. Why were all the big dogs so damn… good?
“Hrm.”
Right the bat. The bat that right now probably wanted to string him up by his ankles and let the archdemons sort out how to cut him into nice even thirds if his damned rules didn’t stop him. Why did he have a cigarette?
“Uh bats?”
“Hrm.”
Just as loquacious as always that cape. Keep that thought inside. Definitely keep the thought inside. Especially as you take that stupidly expensive cigarette.
“Thanks. I could really…” The cig was hard. It was candy. The bat almost had an actual expression under the cowl, there was the slightest tightness of the lips. A smirk. He was smirking. ”You know what? Fuck you.” The fake cig crunched in his mouth. It actually tasted pretty good. Not that he was going to ever let anyone know that. “I’m going home. Hopefully to eat my leftovers. The brat isn’t a threat. If you want to know just ask the lass about the between or the Infinite. Or better yet go ask Grundy about The Protector.”
God he needed a drink. And a smoke. And maybe another drink. John was pretty sure that his food was gone too.
“How old is he?”
Dammit lass. Why did you always know just what to say? “14…. I think.” John replied stopping at the door to the stupid tech magic tubes that Supes had insisted on. “He’s some other world’s hero.”
The lass had to think on that one. Not every day you meet an alternate. “Is he… okay?”
“He’s doing alright. Insists his parents couldn’t understand though, so he always carries it alone. Protects people that way, or so he says.” John finally let himself laugh. It was a fitting description of most of the capes who worked with the league. And himself. If he was generous. Pity he couldn’t afford to be generous with himself anymore. “I’m just his fallback. And debit card.”
“It would do him some good to meet others. If you can invite him to the next picnic.”
John blinked slowly. Then turned. The Bat had a smile. A proper smile. Soft and understanding. How? The man was almost certainly just a mass inhuman muscle and brains with the bare minimum speech capability bundled into a bat suit. “I’ll make sure to offer it. But he’s still weird about his… abilities.”
“I’ll get him added to the budget.”
“Budget?” Now this was sounding promising. While the league did pay it wasn’t much more than rent for the closet he used to access the house.
“For young heroes or metas under league guidance. One of the points Bruce Wayne insisted on when he decided to find us officially. So they have a safe place.”
“I’m a safe place?” John’s incredulity was finally outweighing his paranoia. A hefty feat considering even he considered himself to be 90% paranoia by volume.
“Sure sounds like it mate.” Only the lass could say something so damning like it was a good thing.
“{Guess so}” Why did he understand the grunt? Are the grunts some secret dad cape speak? Why was he suddenly qualified for…. Nope. Nope. He’s going home. Sleep liquor and maybe a bit of tele. No he wasn’t tearing up. And no one could see his face to tell you otherwise.
Danny has met Constantine.
Constantine has a coat.
Danny regularly pops out of it to say hi or when Constantine calls him for something.
Nobody in the JL knew this, so when Danny popped right on out in the middle of a meeting.
Well.
#dpxdc#dc x dp#danny phantom#john constantine#John is Danny’s safe place and a provider of food he doesn’t have to put down again#And he’s really not sure about this assigned role#But the house treats him like it treats John#Maybe even slightly better#So he can’t really hid it#And well#from what Danny says about his life?#John really doesn’t want to anymore#Because no kid should have to fight the eldrtich horror that satan built hell to keep out#And then have to go to highschool again in the morning#John anytime he thinks about this kid and what he must be going through: I got to help this kid not become an eldritch horror#danny every time he’s interacting with John: he’s my adopted fun uncle and I have to mess with him while Benny hill plays in the background
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Wip Thursday
Got tagged by @gege-wondering-around and @dontcallpanic so here you have another snippet for my demon!stiles au!
“So. I know what this thing is,” because there comes a point where your only option is ripping off the bandaid, and also, Stiles has exhausted all his other resources. “The good news is I know how to get rid of it.”
“And the bad news?” Derek already sounds like he doesn’t want to know the answer. Stiles would feel guilty, he really would. Only, Derek brought this on himself, really, letting Stiles into the pack all those years ago. He should just accept that Stiles will do his thing and rest easy.
“Uuuh… I’m going to have to talk to my Father and that always sucks,” and he’d been doing so well, too, dodging his messengers and little notice-me calls. The fire had been a little too on point, though.
“The Sheriff? What for?” Scott tilts his head in that way that makes him look exactly like a puppy. Stiles has a sudden urge to squeeze him until he bursts.
Heh, good old cute rage.
“Oh, no, not my dad. My Father. Completely different people,” Stiles is met with blank expressions. Huh. Right, the puppies don’t know who his Father is. Eh. Not his problem. Derek can explain it to them on his own time. “Anyways, it’ll be a pain in the ass because I’ve been trying to avoid his calls for a while now and he’ll be so clingy and smug, but I’ll take one for the team,” he says, ever so graciously. Ugh, Belial is going to be unbearable, too. Stiles is so not looking forward to that conversation.
More blank stares. Stiles smiles, nods once and turns around. He’ll have to go kill an animal or something for his sacrifice, since his Father still refuses to get signal on Hell. So messy. Stiles hopes his Father understands he won’t be returning until he gets stable wi-fi connection because he is not giving up Google.
“What? Stiles that explains nothing!” Lydia says, exasperated. Stiles doesn’t know what she’s talking about, he made perfect sense of himself! “You haven’t even told us what this thing is!”
Oh. Okay, maybe that one’s on him.
Please don't take this seriously. I beg of you. Also I know this makes absolutely no sense at all but it will be. Eventually. Maybe. Hopefully. Tagging @oldefashioned @salty-fryingpan @novasillies @hedwig221b and of course @dontcallpanic and @gege-wondering-around again, thank you so much for the tag!
#demon!stiles au#from the pits of hell au#stiles stilinksi#derek hale#scott mccall#lydia martin#sterek#teen wolf#teen wolf fic#wip#my wip#fanfic
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Not a dream
~ gif not mine credit to owner ~
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader.
Summary: she knew the Winter Soldier, only meeting again when she hears about Bucky’s pardon.
Word count: 7,479
Warnings: angst(?) murdering rapists. swearing. assaults. fluff. crying Bucky. past torture. suicidal thoughts. mentions of suicide. mentions of a sex ring (mentioned once.) mentions of rape (not Bucky or reader)
Masterlist
“I’m innocent your honour.”
“You was caught with the murder weapon in your hands as well as being at the scene of the crime.”
“Would you believe me if I said that I found them like that?”
Y/n was sentenced to prison for twenty five years for murdering two men, she tried to justify her actions by telling the courts that she only killed them because they were rapists but apparently it was wrong of her to take the law into her own hands, who knew?
Little did they know that she had taken the life of just over sixty rapists.
What they don’t know won’t hurt them, right?
“So Y/n, when are you out of the shit hole?” Rogan asked as she sat at the table where Y/n was shuffling cards.
“Soon. Got twenty more years to go.”
“How long have you already done?”
“Five.” Looking around making sure no one heard her, she leaned further across the table to the woman. “Look RoRo first rule of prison is that you don’t ask people what they are in for or how long they are doing.”
“What really? I keep asking people.”
“It’s like pointing in cemetery, it’s disrespectful.”
“Oh… I didn’t know.”
“She’s fucking with you with.” Kandi laughed as she came over to the duo, a cigarette hanging out of her mouth.
“Not about the cemetery thing.” Pointing a card to Rogan. “Dis-respect-ful!”
Rogan had been in prison for six months, Y/n took the woman under her wing after seeing the poor girl getting harassed, everyone was quick to leave her alone. “Noted.”
“What about you? I’ve got three years left.” Kandi asked as she was pulling a card away from Y/n, just to wind her up.
“Hopefully next year.”
“NO!” Kandi laughed as Rogan jumped in her seat as Y/n screamed. “You two can’t leave me, I’ll be all alone in this big scary place!” She then throws herself onto the ground.
“L/n get off the ground!” A guard shouted, she does as she’s told and salutes the guy.
“Prick. Anyway I’m only joking, I can’t wait to see the back of you both.” Going back to shuffling her cards she looked up at Rogan. “You need to keep your head down and you might get an early release.”
They have a game of cards whilst Rogan and Kandi talked about their plans for when they get out. Kandi kicked Y/n’s leg and nodded in a direction, Rogan was confused but didn’t want to ask.
“RoRo.”
“Yeah?”
“Remember, always keep your head down.” Before the woman can answer Y/n stands up, fix her clothes and walks in the direction Kandi had nodded in.
Kandi quickly packs up the cards and shoves them into her pocket, swinging her legs over the bench. “When I tell you to get down, you do it.”
“Why? What’s happening.”
“Just watch our crazy little friend.”
Rogans eyes stay focused on Y/n as she makes her way across the yard and walks up to a woman that she knew had only arrived a few days before, with the distance between them she couldn’t hear what the two women were saying.
“Get… down.”
As the words come out of Kandi’s mouth Rogan watches as Y/n punches the woman in front of her, the two start fighting. Everyone begins to drop to the ground as the alarms started blearing, Rogan flinches when the guards start to shoot, not like Y/n stops her assaults on the woman - only stopping and throwing her hands up in the air when the other woman stops moving.
“We’ll she her in a month or two.” Kandi says quietly as the guards start rounding them all up.
Four months.
She was in solitary confinement for four months, Y/n was no stranger to the six by eight box, the warden had gotten fed up of her behaviour so he cut her yard time in half - only allowing her to have half an hour of fresh air a day.
Not like she cared.
The woman she had attacked played a role in the pain and suffering Y/n and many more had endured, she was a well respected agent who took great pleasure in hurting others especially Y/n. It was as if it was fate that the agent was being sent to the same prison as Y/n was in - not like she believed in things like that, but fate nonetheless.
“Y/n!” She only had that as a warning before Kandi jumped over the railing and landed on her. “Fuck I’ve missed you so much!”
“I’ve missed you too.” Y/n wheezed out. “But get your fat arse off me.”
“‘M not fat.”
“No but that arse of yours is.”
“Stop flirting with me, I’ll start thinking you’re in love with me.”
“We’re married…”
“Not anymore, I divorced you when you was in the hole. Sorry.”
“And there I thought you’d wait for me.” Finally standing up Y/n looked around, frowning when she couldn’t see Rogan. Asking Kandi where their friend was, she went from being happy to be back in the wing to angry.
“S-she was attacked two weeks ago, she’s in medical.”
“Who?”
“Y/n…”
“Who Kandi.”
“You’ve just gotten back.”
“I’m not going to ask again.”
Sighing and shaking her head Kandi said the name of the woman who had attacked their friend Y/n spun around in the direction of the woman’s cell. The alarms were quick to go off and the guards making their way in to the wing, an angry Y/n being dragged out.
“I’ll see you soon.” She shouted to Kandi, the latter just nods and makes her way back to her cell muttering idiot under her breath.
It’d be another four months since she’d see anyone again.
Y/n tiptoed her way over to where Kandi and Rogan was sitting at their bench, the other inmates raising their eyebrows as she puts her finger to her lips. They had all grown accustomed to her weird behaviour and how quickly she can go from laughing to beating someone up.
“Give me all your money!” She screamed behind the two friends, Rogan jumped whilst Kandi didn’t flinch.
Making her way to her seat she smiled at Rogan who happily returned the expression, she looked at Kandi and noticed she wasn’t looking at her. “What’s wrong?”
Kandi whispered into Rogans ear, Rogan then looked between her two friends nervously. “She said she’s not talking to you.”
“Why? Buttercup don’t be like this.”
“She said that you’ve been gone for a long time and things have changed.”
“Changed how? Nothings changed Kands, I promise I won’t go back in the hole.”
“You said that last time! And the time before that and the time before, oh and guess-“ Kandi snapped.
“I get it. I get it okay? I’m sorry alright. I just couldn’t let Anderson get away with hurting our RoRo.”
“I know but you promise all the time Y/n, you’ve been in the hole more times than anyone here and that’s saying something.”
“I like it, kinda feels like I’m home.”
“Don’t be such a dick Y/n, I’m being serious.”
“So am I!” It was her turn to snap, smoothing out her hair she apologised. “Look I’m really sorry Kandice, I swear to you I won’t do anything to get me into trouble- no I mean it honestly!”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
And just like that everything was fine between the pair. Kandi and Rogan told her everything that had happened in the eight months she was in solitary, which surprisingly wasn’t a lot other than a couple of fights happening.
Y/n’s left eye twitched as she stood in front of her cell. Someone had come into her place and trashed it. The whole wing went quiet as they all saw her standing there still as if she was a statue.
“Who?”
“Y/n, remember what you promised me.” Kandi said from the side of her.
“Who Kandi?”
“Y/n-“
“WHO FUCKING TRASHED MY CELL!” Everyone flinched as she shouted. She was getting angrier the longer everyone remained quiet.
“That would have been me, sweet cheeks.” The voice made her skin crawl. As she turned around she saw the guard who made it his sole mission to torment her after she turned him down.
“You-“
“Y/n, you’ve just gotten out.” Kandi hissed under her breath.
“Fucking-“
“Y/n!”
“PRICK!” His smile made her want to kill him right there and then. “But… it’s okay, I get it. No I really do.” Leaning over the railing she smiled at him. “Since catching your wife getting her brains fucked out of her by the fucking mailman - the same man she left you for, you’ve been real lonely, I hope you enjoyed my underwear around that small piece of useless skin that you call a dick.” The whole wing erupts in loud cheering - even some of the guards laughing - Y/n walked into her cell and started cleaning up.
The next morning the trio made their way to the rec room after having their breakfasts, sat at a table playing a card game Y/n caught a glimpse of a familiar face on the tv screen from the corner of her eye.
Her breathing picked up and her palms started to sweat, all she could see was so many different memories flash in front of her. It was like she was right there in the base alongside him. Memories she tried so hard to keep locked up right at the back of her mind under lock and key came flooding back. She could hear someone call her name but she couldn’t pin point where the voice was coming from or who by. Only snapping out of her memories when she felt a hand smack her across the face.
“Shit… Y/n I-I didn’t mean to do that.” Kandi stuttered, looking between Y/n and Rogan fear evident in her eyes.
“It’s-I’m okay. You smack like a girl by the way.” Chuckling nervously Kandi apologised but Y/n waved her off. “I need to get out of here.” She whispered to her two friends.
“We can go outside.” Rogan offered.
“No I mean I need to get out of prison, preferably like now.”
“What are you going to do, walk up to the warden and ask if he can let you out earlier?” Kandi laughed.
“Do you think he would?”
“No you idiot!”
“Why? I’m well behaved.” The girls in front of her raise their eyebrows in unison. “Okay maybe I’ve not been the best inmate but I can be good.”
They all knew that was a lie.
“Y/n be rational, you escape you’ll be wanted, you’ll get caught and have more years added to your sentence.”
“No because I’ll leave and then I’ll come back once I’m finished doing what I need to do.”
“You-I-Rogan deal with her.”
“I erm… Y/n you’ll be in so much trouble.”
“I’m doing twenty five years Ro, can’t get in more fucking trouble than that. Look I’ll be gone for a few days and I’ll hand myself in, they’ll probably give me an extra year or two which is nothing really. But I need your twos help.”
Kandi knew her well enough to know that she was going to escape with or without their help, despite not liking it she knew Y/n wouldn’t do anything without a reason. “Why?”
“I need to see someone. Kands I wouldn’t be doing this if it wasn’t important. So please help me.”
“Fuck. Fine, okay I’ll help you.”
“I’ll help too.” Rogan smiled.
“No, you can’t ruin your chance at an early release.”
“I’m helping.”
As Y/n watched the two girls argue about whether or not Rogan was allowed to help she came up with a plan. Gaining their attention she told them the plan, and off they went.
“This is such a bad idea.” Kandi whispered watching Y/n climb through the tiny window of the guards locker room.
“It’s a brilliant idea.”
“Just hurry up!”
“Stop distracting me!”
Finding the locker she needed, she opened it up and searched for car keys, hanging them out of the small window to Kandi she climbed out. Kandi was about to unlock the car when Y/n wrapped her arms around her.
“I’ll come back I promise.”
“Why? You could be free and have a life.”
“Like you said, I’ll be wanted and I’ll end up getting caught. Plus all I’ve ever known is a life in prisons so I won’t do good out there in the real world.” She shrugged. “I’ll see you in a few days. Oh, Kandice?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you.”
“Be careful.”
Keeping an eye out she helped Y/n get into the boot of the car and locking it again she ran over to the window and climbed in to put the keys back, Rogan was waiting for her when she came back out and made a phone call - using the phone that Y/n asked forced someone to borrow them.
“Hi, is this Mr Boyd? I’m sorry to say this sir but your apartment has been broken into. Your neighbour rang the police. Yes. That’s fine sir.” Not even five minutes ago by when they see the guard running past their hiding spot and driving away.
“The crazy bitch has done it.” Kandi laughed, wrapping her arm around Rogans shoulder she kisses her friends head.
Y/n had to bite her lip to force herself not to scream as Boyd drove like a maniac, she kept banging her head and it was starting to hurt. As the car finally pulled to a stop she slowly opened the boot door before he got out and locked her inside. Only climbing out when she figured the coast was clear, she falters when she makes eye contact with a child playing across the street - the kid waves and giggles at her. Putting her finger to her lip she smiles when the kid nods.
Hiding behind the wall she waits for Boyd to leave which wasn’t long, she breaks into his apartment. First thing she does is make herself a sandwich before sitting on the sofa, putting her feet on the coffee table and watch tv - it was nice to watch something without people talking loudly in the background. After showering she walked into his bedroom and went straight to the wardrobe in hopes there was still clothes from his wife. Luck seemed to be on her side because there was a few clothes left.
Looking at the photo of Boyd with who Y/n assumed was his parents she smiles. “You trash my place, I’ll trash yours.”
Within minutes the whole apartment was trashed. Not a single room was left unharmed by the bat she was using.
Stealing some money she found she left the apartment and made her way to the bus stop. Standing outside of the library with people walking around her not knowing who she was or the fact that she had broken out of prison, she went inside.
“Hi.” Leaning over the counter to see the name tag more clearly. “Paige, I would like to use a computer.”
“Do you have a library card?”
“I don’t I’m afraid.”
“You need a library card.”
“To use a computer?”
“Yeah.”
“But I don’t have one and I really need to use it.”
“I can give you one now.”
“I don’t want a card, okay. I’m never going to come back here so it’s pointless, I just need the computer for less than ten minutes.” Y/n had to bite her cheek in order to not shout at the poor girl who was just doing her job.
“But I’m not allowed.”
“I won’t tell if you don’t.” Paige nods and takes her over to where the computers were and used her login details, reminding Y/n that she only had ten minutes she rushed back to the desk.
She’s done within minutes.
Going back up to Paige she asks for directions which the girl offers, she thanks her and hands over twenty dollars that she stole from Boyd’s apartment. “For the computer.” She informs when the girl frowns.
The walk to her destination took longer than expected due to having to keep ducking down alleyways and into shops when the police went by, she knew the guards would have realised that she was gone by now and that there would be officers looking for her.
She had to admit the building was rather impressive.
“Excuse me miss, you need to sign in.” The man said from behind the desk.
“Oh silly me, my boyfriend told me that I could just go straight up.”
“Who’s your boyfriend?”
“Tony Stark.”
“He’s married…”
“Yeah, I’m his mistress. Don’t tell the wife though.” She winks and signs her name. “Can I go up now?”
“Y-yes miss.”
“Thank you. Oh, which button do I press? Normally he does it.” Thanking him once again she makes her way to the elevator and up she goes.
Following the voices she stood outside a room where the Avengers were sitting around laughing and talking. She sees him. She doesn’t realise that everyone sees her and stops talking.
“Who are you?” A red head said.
Taking that as her signal she walks inside, her eyes still on the man she broke out of prison just to see.
"I had to see this for myself. To know it's true.” All their heads snap to the person she was looking at.
Bucky.
“Buck… do you know who this is?” A blond man said as he sat further up in his seat.
“I-yeah, her names Y/n we were at the same base together. W-what are you doing here?”
“Like I said, I wanted to see this for myself.” A small smile on her lips, she started to pick at the skin around her nails starting to feel stupid for what she’s done because he didn’t seem too pleased to see her.
“You left me.” Bucky whispered.
“I-I know but I tried to get you out, I swear.”
“You left me there Y/n!” Before anyone could react Bucky had Y/n pinned to the wall by her throat and began squeezing. “We promised each other that we’d get out together! We promised.” His eyes filling up with tears.
“I tried James! You wouldn’t come with me.” Hearing that Bucky loosens his hold around her neck. “I got into your cell but you wouldn’t listen, I tried to get you to stand but you wouldn’t move, y-you broke my arm James. My opening was closing an-and I had to take it and I’ve regretted it every day but I did try I swear.”
His hold on her neck loosens until he’s just holding her, tears starting to fall from his pretty eyes, regret consuming him when he looks at the mark already forming on her neck, regret from hating her from the moment he found out she had left him there to rot, regret and anger at hearing he had broken her arm - hurting the one person even the Winter Soldier couldn’t hurt. “I-I-“
Y/n silences him by wrapping her arms around his neck and pulls him into her. Memories of her holding him in this way flashing through their minds as Bucky clung to her.
The only sound coming from the once lively room was Bucky’s muffled cries and Y/n apologising.
“Oh by the way Tony I’m your mistress.” Y/n informed him as she pointed her fork in his direction.
“What?”
“I told the guy downstairs that I was your girlfriend and he told me you’re married. Which honestly I don’t think I can be in this relationship anymore so it’s over.” Everyone chuckles aside from Tony who’s still trying to figure out what’s going on.
“So Y/n, what have you been doing since getting away from Hydra?” Natasha asked. Bless their little hearts they tried to introduce themselves to her but she knew exactly who was who beforehand.
“I-fuck this is the best meal I’ve had in five years, thanks Sam. But anyway I was moving around a lot, may or may not have killed some agents that I knew were Hydra. So yeah not much really.”
Ever since Y/n showed up he couldn’t take his eyes off her, she looked so different yet the same, she was still the most beautiful woman he ever laid eyes on. When he was told she had escaped he felt different emotions, he was proud that she had gotten away from the horrors they were subjected too and forced to commit, he was angry that she left him behind since they had promised each other that they’d get away together and try to live a normal life - whatever that meant for the two of them. He was devastated at the fact she had left him behind, he thought that everything they had gone through together and the feelings they had for each other was all lies.
He got beaten for days after she escaped because he attacked the guards when they tried to stop him from going to her cell, he stood there at the doorway expecting to see her sitting on the wrecked mattress with a pretty smile on her face or at least her laying there with bruises after a beating but it was empty other than the mattress and disgusting toilet.
Bucky started to believe that she was dead just because he couldn’t believe that she left him on his own. For the two years he was there without his partner, his only friend, the woman who he had fallen in love with despite their surroundings he never put up a fight, he did everything they asked of him and more, he didn’t care if he died on missions - hell he wanted to die just so he could finally see Y/n again.
But here she was, sitting right next to him laughing along with his friends, looking just as beautiful as the last time he saw her. All he wanted to do was wrap his arms around her and never let go again, he wanted to kiss her just the way they use to whenever they were alone and knew that no one was watching.
“Right, well I best be off.” Y/n spoke bringing Bucky back to the present.
“W-what?”
“Yeah sorry, I’ve gotta go somewhere before I head home.”
“I’ll take you.” Everyone could hear the desperation in his voice but he didn’t care, he wasn’t ready to say goodbye to her just yet.
“I-okay. It was nice meeting everyone.”
“You can come back whenever you want.” Steve smiled, Y/n nodded her head knowing that she couldn’t but what they didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them.
Saying her goodbyes, Bucky took her down to the garage and ever the gentleman he opened the car door for her. Telling him the address of where she wanted to go, he didn’t question it just driving to the destination. He noticed that every time a police car went by that she put her head down when he asked she just shook her head and smiled at him.
He followed behind her as she searched the rows of headstones, he sees her face light up when she spots the correct one she was looking for.
Kneeling down on the damp grass she placed her hand on the thick stone. “Hey beautiful, yeah I know I’ve not seen you in five years but I couldn’t get here. I’m sorry. Oh I want you to meet someone.” Waving Bucky over, he stands by her side with his hands in his pockets looking at the name, date of birth and death. “This is James, the man I told you about. Bucky this is Evie.”
“Who is she?”
“I found her two weeks after I escaped Hydra, she was along seven other women they… they were in a sex ring. I managed to get them all out and got them to safety, I know the other girls are in protection and are now safe.”
“W-what happened to Evie?”
“The dark thoughts got too much for her, I didn’t get there in time to save her. She had taken her own life. I let her down after I promised that I would always be there.” A dry laugh falls from her mouth as she wipes a tear away. “But then again I’ve never been able to keep my promises, have I?”
“Y/n-“
“It’s true though isn’t it? I’ve got two girls back at home expecting me to keep a promise I made and I don’t want to break it but I really don’t want to go back, you know?”
“You have kids?”
“Fuck no! Jesus Bucky, me as a mum? Can you imagine? Terrible.” She laughs though her heart aches at the image of her being a mother, she wanted kids but that was before Hydra, before being sent to prison for killing the two so called men who had took it in turns to rape Evie. Don’t get it wrong, she didn’t regret doing it and would do it again in a heartbeat but she knew she could never be a mum now.
“You’ve always been caring Y/n.”
“And? That doesn’t mean-you know what? It doesn’t matter, I need to go otherwise I’m going to be in even more trouble than I already am. But it was good to see you again James, it really was. I hope you all the best.”
Bucky grabbed her free hand as her other was on the headstone. “You don’t have to go! You can stay with me at the tower an-and you could be a part of the team.”
“I’m not a hero James. Never have been, never will be. I’m the person you and your friends go after, I destroy everything.”
“No, no you’re a good person Y/n, I know you!”
Putting her hand on his cheek she shakes her head. “No you don’t.” Her face lights up very quickly when blue and red lights go by. “I’ve gotta go now James. I’m sorry I didn’t get you out, I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough to stay there with you. I hope you all the goodness in the world.” Standing on her tiptoes she presses her lips to his in a quick kiss. “One for the road.”
Bucky stands there motionless as Y/n presses a kiss to the headstone, giving him one last smile before walking off.
The warden went bright red in the face as he shouted at Y/n. She couldn’t see what the problem was as she came back. She went back to court and her defence lawyer told the judge that she had only escaped so she could say goodbye to a dear friend, and that she had come back willingly and she didn’t run like most would.
The judge handed her an extra eighteen months to her twenty year sentence.
Kandi and Rogan saw her two months later after she came out of solitary confinement, both of them instantly wrapping their arms around her and refusing to let go.
When Bucky got back to the tower that night he went straight into his room and refused to speak to anyone, he opened up the wardrobe and grabbed his backpack from the back, moving to sit on his bed. He found the dark red notepad and held it close to him, he remembered the day he got it - he was on a solo mission, as he was about to leave the office following the man that was trying to run away when a dark red notepad caught his eye, picking it up he flicked through the empty pages before putting it in one of his many pockets. Getting back to the base in the early hours of the next morning he kept it hidden along with a pencil he had stolen, once in the safety of his cell he began writing Y/n’s name over and over again, he then wrote all the little facts that he could remember from what she told him about herself. He kept the notepad with him at all times when he wasn’t on missions and when he was on ice he kept it hidden in his mattress.
Since Steve found him in that rundown apartment building and everything that followed Bucky didn’t read what was in the notepad, it was too painful for him but now that he knew she was alive he found himself reading what he wrote all those years ago.
He soon fell asleep with the notepad clutched closely to his chest.
A couple of weeks later the team were once again sitting around in the living room, when FRIDAY put the tv on and told the team they needed to watch the news.
“The prison behind me holds some of the most dangerous women in the country, one of the inmates who was sentenced to twenty five years for murdering two men escaped last month.” The reporter spoke, none of them understood why FRIDAY thought they needed to watch that was until a photo appeared on the right side of the screen. “Y/n L/n escaped and was on the run for two days, remarkably she walked back into prison and handed herself in. L/n has already served five years of her sentence when the esca-“
Steve paused the screen, all their eyes trained on the mugshot of the woman who showed up to the tower. A large smile on her face with no look of remorse behind her eyes as they took her photo. Bucky sits there and shakes his head as he remembers wondering why the meal Sam cooked was the best she had in five years, or when she mentioned that she hadn’t been to see Evie.
“Did you know?” Wanda asked him.
“No but it makes sense now though.”
“How do you mean?” Sam asked, so Bucky explains. “I wonder who she killed.”
“I don’t know but I’m going to visit her.”
Steve went with him to see Y/n but was turned away due to her being in solitary, the warden smirked as he told the pair that they could come back in two months to see her.
The trio was sitting in Kandi’s cell when a guard called for Y/n, with a huff she went to see what they wanted, her eyes squinting when they said she had a visitor.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that you have someone here to visit you.” He said sarcastically, unlocking the door so she could come out. Putting the cuffs on her wrist he gave her no time to try and walk freely as he started to pull on the cuffs. Leading her down to a visit room he pushed her inside once the door was unlocked.
“There’s no need to keep pushing me you-“
“You, what?”
“If you hadn’t interrupted me you’d know I was going to call you a cunt.”
“You’ve got a fucking mouth on you, don’t you.”
“Me? Never.” He goes to open his mouth but closes it, he just smiles at her instead and leaves the room. Turning around she raises her eyebrow at seeing Bucky and his friends on the other side of the table. “Fancy seeing you guys here, did you get lost?”
“No, we didn’t get lost.” Bucky says fiddling with him metal fingers.
“Oh, it’s just because I don’t get visitors so.” She trails off.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were in prison?”
“Didn’t think it was important.” She shrugged.
“Not important? You murdered two men!” Y/n frowned at the way Bucky raised his voice at her, hating the way he looked at her as if she was a monster.
“Two men who deserved it! They raped Evie.” She snapped, smacking her hand on the table. “I’ve never killed anyone that didn’t deserve it and you know it.”
Bucky frowns and instantly feels guilty for raising his voice. “I’m sorry.”
“Whatever. Are we done here?“
“Did you really escape just to see me?”
“Yep, stupid I know.” Before Bucky could respond Tony spoke up and asked how long had been added to her sentence. “Eighteen months, why?”
“Cap, you thinking what I’m thinking?”
“Yeah but will it work?” Y/n frowns as Steve and Tony continued to have a conversation between themselves, giving Bucky a questioning look he shrugs - not once taking his eyes off her.
“What are you two talking about?” Bucky asked them.
“Getting mouthy here out of this place.” Tony points over to Y/n, raising his eyebrow. “In the correct way.”
The door opens and before anyone could speak the guard comes in and drags Y/n out of the room saying “times up.” Bucky clenched his fists at seeing her being manhandled, Steve put his hand on his arm in hopes to calm him down - giving him a look that asked him not to do anything stupid.
A week later Y/n was told she had a visitor, with an annoyed huff she followed the guards, not even making a single comment as they tugged on the cuffs wrapped tightly around her wrist. In the week that had passed since her first visit, she couldn’t understand what Tony said - why would they want to get her out? What would they want with her? What would be the point in letting someone like her out in public when all she’s done is kill people?
Once again she’s pushed into the same room as before when she looks up she sees Bucky clenching his jaw and another man sitting next to him. “Back again?”
“This is-“
“Nick Fury, yeah I know who he is.” She cuts Bucky off. “I was currently in the middle of finding out what kind of flower I am based on my personality, so can we speed this up?”
Fury chuckles whilst nodding, pushing a folder across the table he gestures for her to sit. “You need to sign these papers.”
“What are they?”
“You sign these, you’ll be agreeing to you coming into SHIELDS custody.”
“And why would I do that?”
“Y/n you’ll be free-“ Bucky says.
“But I wouldn’t be would I?”
“Alright you won’t be in prison-“
“Yet I’ll be in a cell-“
“You won’t be.” Fury cuts in. “You’ll do the rest of your sentence under SHIELD, meaning you’ll work for us, help us stop Hydra and other organisations that are threatening to our world. Sign this and we’ll get you out of here within a few days.”
Bucky gave her a reassuring smile and an encouraging nod but she wasn’t quite sure if she wanted to sign, she’ll just be moving from one prison to another regardless of how they dress it up of what she’ll be doing for them. “Y/n?”
“I have two conditions.”
Fury sighs and rubs his eyes. “What are they?”
“Kandi and Rogan.”
“Who are they?”
“My friends, I want them out too.”
“I can’t do that Y/n.”
“Then I’m not signing.”
“Y/n they’re in prison for a reason.” Bucky tried.
“Petty crimes, the both of them. Kandi’s got three more years and Rogan can get out in a few months, it’s not hard to pull some strings.”
“They’re criminals.”
“So am I.”
Fury looks at Bucky then at Y/n. “Alright. I’ll see what I can do.”
“If they aren’t following me out of this shit hole then I’m not coming Fury.”
“You’re already the biggest pain in my backside.” He mumbled, Bucky chuckled as Y/n smiled proudly. “I’m gonna make a phone call, what’s their last names.”
Telling him their names she watched as Fury left the room leaving her alone with Bucky who had yet to take his eyes off her. She looked everywhere other than at him. He squinted his eyes at her as she tried to suppress the smile that wanted to make an appearance. She wasn’t going to back down - she knew that, Bucky knew that - but she was cracking and he knew it.
“Just give in.”
“Nope.”
“Come on, you know you want too.” She didn’t need to look at him already knowing he had a smug smile on his lips.
“Don’t know what you mean.” Bucky rolled his eyes and leaned over the table, his hand reaching out to hold hers, her eyes snapped from the stain on the wall to him. “That’s cheating.”
“You’ve never been good at that game.” He smiled softly. “If Fury can’t get your friends out of here, you’ll be an idiot not to sign these papers Y/n.”
“I can’t just leave them here, not after all we’ve been through.”
“I get it, I do but you’ll be wasting your life away.”
“Never had much of a life before anyway.” She shrugged, flipping her hands over so their fingers would link together. “I’m really sorry James.”
“For what?”
“For leaving you there, for not going back to the base earlier, for not telling you the truth about.“ she gestures to the room they were in. “Just everything. I’m sorry for everything.”
Bucky feels his heart tug at her words, he forgave her the second he laid eyes on her again after seven years without seeing her. He forgave her when she explained, so he didn’t understand why she was apologising again. “W-what do you mean when you said for not going back to the base earlier?”
“I-I found us a safe place to call home it was off grid and in the middle of nowhere, it was perfect for us. I went back to get you, I hoped that you would listen this time.” She chuckled. “I got inside and it was chaos, the agents were dropping like flies and I wasn’t even the one doing anything, but anyway I get to your cell and it was empty, an agent shot me in the chest and told me that you had gone rogue, that it was a stupid idea to send the Soldat to kill his best friend but I thought she was lying and you were killed.” The agent she was talking about was the very same one she attacked in the yard, her face dropped as she came face to face with the person she shot in the chest and left for dead.
“You-you got shot in the chest? Y/n!”
“What? I’m still alive aren’t I?”
“But how?”
“Because the thought of you still alive kept me alive.”
“Funny.”
“Hilarious.” She winked at him, once again he rolls his eyes at her. “I’m joking, I don’t know why or how I survived but I did. But anyway a week later I find the two men who hurt Evie and killed them, then got caught, got arrested and then sent here.”
Fury comes back into the room just as Bucky was about to say something. “All three of you will be released tomorrow morning as long as you sign these papers.”
“Tomorrow? But it’s sponge cake for dessert tomorrow.” She frowns, both men give her a deadpan look. “Sponge cake!”
“Well don’t sign and stay here then.”
“You was meant to say ‘don’t worry Y/n I’ll get you a sponge cake’ and I’ll then go ‘oh no it’s fine Fury’ and then you was going to say ‘no, no it’s fine, you deserve it for being the absolute best’ but no you had to ruin it.” Fury’s lips twitched and she could see that he was trying not to smile, Bucky on the other hand was having to bite his fist in order to stop himself from laughing.
“You going to sign or not?”
“The girls walk free?”
“Yes.”
“Where do I sign?”
Kandi and Rogan looked confused when their cell doors were opened and the guards told them they have five minutes to get their things, thinking they had done something wrong and were getting moved they frowned when Y/n stood in front of their cells with her own backpack slung over her shoulder.
“What’s going on?” Kandi whispered as they stood behind Y/n, her and Rogan were holding hands, both nervous about what was happening.
“Do you trust me?” Y/n asked turning around to the pair.
“Of course we do.”
“Then don’t worry.” The doors came open and they were walked towards the large gates, the warden made a comment under his breath which Y/n raised her eyebrow to him daring him to say it louder but he put his head down. Y/n stepped outside first smiling when she saw Bucky standing there with the rest of the Avengers and Fury. Frowning when she realised that the girls weren’t right behind her. “Come on.”
“What’s happening?”
“You’re free.” Both her friends frowning in confusion. “I got you out. Fly my pretty butterflies”
“Is this a joke?”
“Nope. You can stay if-“
“No! We’re coming.” They both rush out and run up to her.
“So… now what?” Y/n asked Bucky who looks at Fury.
“We go to the tower and these two need to sign some papers and then they can go and live their lives.”
“Right. Well let’s go then.”
Sam and Wanda lead the two girls towards the jet with Y/n following when Fury calls her name and holds out his hand.
“Sponge cake! Knew you loved me Nicky.”
After a long hug and saying goodbye eight times Kandi and Rogan were taken to their families, leaving with a promise that they’ll see each other again.
Bucky couldn’t sit still as Y/n was in a room talking to Fury, his knee kept bouncing the longer he waited, he ran his fingers through the short strands of his hair tugging lightly in annoyance. Nearly four hours later Steve came and sat next to him, both sitting in silence - that was until Steve broke it.
“Did you love her?”
“I did. Still do I guess.” Leaning forward on his knees he looked to the side at his best friend. “Is that stupid?”
“No.” Chuckling softly, Steve leaned back in his seat. “I still love Peggy and she married someone else and had a family. It’s not stupid Buck.”
“They could never break her, you know? Even with the chair and I think that’s what drew me to her. She helped me remember things, always reminding me who I was after it was my turn in that fucking chair.” Bucky paused and wiped his hands down his face. “She told me she came back for me and this whole time I thought she was dead.”
“Buck…”
“It’s fine. I’m fine. I-I just wish things were different.”
Steve didn’t know what to say so he put a reassuring hand on his best friend back and let the silence take over once again. An hour later Y/n and Fury emerged from the room, Fury greeted the two super soldiers before leaving the three alone.
“Are you okay?” Bucky asked worriedly.
“I’m good, just had to tell Nicky Boo all my deepest darkest secrets.” She smiled although it wasn’t easy bringing up things that she had tried to keep hidden, Fury put his hand on hers when it started to shake as she told him the things she had done.
“Nicky Boo?” Steve questioned, amusement lacing his voice and face.
“Yeah, but I don’t think he likes his new nickname.” She shrugs, laughing along with the two men.
“Right well I’ll let you two catch up. Welcome to the team Y/n.”
“Thanks Steve.” As the blond walks away Bucky once again couldn’t take his eyes off her, and like last time Y/n looked everywhere other than him.
“You really have a staring problem.” She mumbled.
“I’m scared.” Bucky whispered, his hand reaching out to hold hers.
“Why?”
“Because if I look away I’m scared you’ll disappear and this is all a dream.”
Squeezing his hand Y/n steps closer and puts her hand on his chest, feeling his heart beating steadily. “It’s not a dream Bucky. I’m right here, I promise I’m not going to disappear.”
Bucky sighed a breath of relief at her words, putting his forehead against hers he closed his eyes. “I missed you so much.”
“I missed you too, and I’m still so sor-“ She goes to apologise again but Bucky didn’t want to hear it, so he kissed her. Both of them sighing softly as their lips finally touched after so long.
Slowly opening his eyes Bucky smiled. “It’s not a dream.”
“How’d you know?”
“Because normally I wake up just before we kiss.”
“Aw you’ve been dreaming of me?”
“Shut up.”
Y/n burst out laughing as his cheeks turned red, he rolled his eyes before pulling her closer to him and kissing her more passionately than before. Neither one of them knew really what was in store for them but they didn’t care about that, not now that they were back in each other’s arms.
Tags: @imcinnamoons | @pigeonmama | @capsbestgirl77
#Bucky Barnes#Bucky x you#bucky x yn#bucky x y/n angst#bucky x reader angst#Bucky angst#bucky x reader fluff#bucky x y/n fluff#Bucky x fluff#bucky x female yn#bucky x f!reader#bucky x you fluff#bucky x female reader#Bucky fic#Bucky x you angst#bucky fan fic#Bucky female reader#James barnes#james barnes fluff#james barnes x you
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Also preserved in our archive
As we’re facing the next COVID surge (brought on by holiday travel), I thought I might try a different kind of COVID post. You can skip to here for some easy to do tips and tricks you might have missed, or you can read down for my discussion of why this is important.
I have recently been writing and thinking a lot about why so many of my friends and family’s actions on COVID are so different from mine. Namely why so many people I know no longer seem very interested in either preventing themselves from being sick or, importantly, not spreading sickness to anyone else.
In my own case, the experience of staying home to stop the spread in 2020 forced me to strongly reconsider my behavior up to that point. Why had I ever thought it was OK to go to work or ride the subway with the flu, unmasked and taking no precautions, knowing that the flu certainly hospitalizes and kills people each year? Even if the flu was no big deal for my body, my behavior had limited other people—particularly disabled people—from comfortably being in public during flu season. I had knowingly spread around an illness. I radically reconsidered a lot of my behavior, and in particular, 2020 pushed me to focus more specifically on disability justice in my activism. A disability justice framework pushes us beyond thinking about individual access to consider how ableism limits us all from liberation.
Getting back to why this reconsideration didn’t happen on a mass level, understanding disability justice also means understanding that ableism is the current social order. And if it’s the order of the day, like other oppressive ideologies, that means we are all drenched in it and it is impossible to avoid ever doing something ableist. Furthermore, most people are going to act in ableist ways, most of the time. None of this are exempt from this, but not even trying is definitely worse!
I am also well aware that good COVID information is hard to come by, especially if you are not on the regular lookout for it. And if you do go looking for it, it can quickly get overwhelming. So I’d like to offer here a very short, distilled list of things people might have missed since 2020. (I’ve not taken the time to track down citations for all of these things; you’ll have to trust me that I got them from trustworthy sources or you can verify on your own. I’m happy to give more info on any of these too.)
Some of these things are easy enough to do. I’m offering this list because from a “stop the spread” mindset, each specific thing you do is helpful. This list is not meant to be comprehensive, and it’s hopefully not overwhelming. You don’t have to be perfect or avoid COVID 100% of the time or make this part of your identity, but I’d like to ask everyone reading this to take one step up in your mitigations for the holiday season, since this is reliably a time with huge increases in virus transmission. With around a thousand people still dying every week from COVID in the US, you don’t know whose life you may save by being a little more careful.
Masking This is the biggest bang for your buck, precaution-wise. If it’s hard for you to mask all the time in public, consider masking in places that disabled people really can’t avoid, like the pharmacy, the grocery store, and on public transportation.
I’d also suggest that if masks are uncomfortable, try different kinds of masks! The Aura is my favorite mask – it’s tight to my face so my glasses don’t fog and head straps don’t hurt my ears like ear straps do. Wellbefore sells masks in different sizes and colors, and Armbrust has sampler packs. Just try a bunch and see what works for you!
Finally, know that if at all possible, you should wear an N95 or KN95 mask. This is a change since spring 2020 because the current variants of COVID are more contagious.
Mouthwash Washing your mouth out with a mouthwash containing CPC (cetylpyridinium chloride) before or after seeing people, or just regularly, will kill some of the virus in your mouth and keep you below the threshold to get sick and/or shed the virus to others. This is a really easy one; CVS brand mouthwash has CPC.
Sip mask These valves will allow you to drink without breaking the seal of your mask. This is great for airplane travel, crowded conferences, or other risky spaces that you need to be in for an extended amount of time.
Airplane The most dangerous time on an airplane from a virus transmission standpoint is the time sitting on the runway (because of the way they circulate and filter the air onboard). Even if you don’t mask up during the flight, this is the best time to mask. (And if you do mask, this is the worst time to have a snack or drink – try to keep your mask on for all of this period.)
Space out risky or crowded events Don’t go to a wedding and a concert in the same weekend! Illness takes 3-5 days to develop after exposure, so give yourself time to know if you got sick from the last thing before potentially spreading that to the next thing.
Air purifiers work! This is a great one for places that you can’t avoid, like school, work, or daycare. You can make your own Corsi-Rosenthal box, but there’s also a variety of high quality air purifiers you can get for $70-100. You want to make sure it has a HEPA or Merv13+ filter on it, and check how quickly it changes out the air in a room. Since COVID is airborne, there can be COVID in a space even after the person has left it. Setting up air purifiers and/or opening windows until enough air has circulated before you remove your mask is a great way to make a space COVID safer
Test before going to events, even if you don’t feel sick Rapid tests (the kind you’re used to getting from the government and at the drug store) False negatives from these are rampant but a positive test reliably means you have COVID. The accuracy of these tests also increases a LOT if you take two of them 48 hours apart.
Better home tests are now available Metrix and Pluslife are both testers you can buy that offer a similar level of accuracy to a PCR test (that is, very accurate!). These devices are expensive, but so is another COVID infection: think of the missed work, cost of Paxlovid, and potential for Long COVID to keep you down even longer.
It’s a good idea to get an updated vaccine 2x a year too; like the flu shot, these vaccines are updated to try to fend off the particular variants that are circling. Be mindful though that vaccination will not necessarily stop transmission, especially of asymptomatic cases. Handwashing is also good for general prevention, but it doesn’t really stop COVID transmission. In the early days of COVID, researchers guessed that it was spread by physical droplets. That’s why we were instructed to wash our hands and groceries. But now we know that COVID is airborne; it spreads more like cigarette smoke than spit!
Of course, no single thing works perfectly. The best model is still the Swiss cheese model, but that also means each thing you do helps. If you’re reading this, please consider doing *one more thing* to take care of yourselves and others. I love you
#mask up#public health#wear a mask#pandemic#covid#wear a respirator#covid 19#still coviding#coronavirus#sars cov 2
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Hey guys I’m still alive heres art of a ship I don’t actually care for but my friend really likes ok bye :3
#so I’ve been literally fighting for my life trying to use my tablet#this drawing almost stressed me out so bad I gave up cause my tablets not charging right#which is my chargers fault#so it ended up on 2% when I actually finished it#so if it all looks just an itty bit rushed…. it was yah#anyways HSR jumpscare#I’ve gotten hopelessly and sickeningly attached to Aventurine#and I wanna draw him nonstop all the time#this is also my first drawing in line 3 weeks#…#awoop jumpscare#Moomins gallery<3#sighs#hopefully I don’t get like killed for this#idk why I would but#the possibilities are endless#yappatron over here anywyas here’s the actual tags#honkai star rail#honkai fanart#hsr aventurine#aventurine honkai star rail#avenday#sunday hsr#sunday honkai star rail#avenday hsr#aventurine fanart#sunday fanart#love seeing a man on his knees#WHO WROTE THAAAT
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So I just read all 914 pages of Fool’s Fate in one day. I don’t think I’ve ever read that much in one day ever. These books are so good holy snickerdoodles I love the politics and the amazing worldbuilding (robin writes matriarchies and different societal structures SO GOOD) and the realistic characters and Fitz’s unreliable narration and also the gay ass ‘friendship’ between him and the fool (fitz ‘no homo but also my bond with you is deeper than my love for anyone else including my other half bonded wolf and my wife and also sex’ farseer)
So uh. Yeah. Excuse me while I go cry in the corner. Again.
#aint no way you’re convincing me fitz is less than bi he’s just got internal homophobia so he can’t recognize it#lowkey canon if u disagree I’m sorry but ur just wrong 🤷♀️#the way some of his lines with beloved mirror lines he’s had with the women he’s slept with is just#robin#robin hobb#why must you torture me so exquisitely#I love these books so goddamn much aaaaaaaaaaaaaa#don’t even get me started on the ‘beloved’ thing#fools fate#fitzchivalry farseer#farseer trilogy#tawny man trilogy#fitz x fool#fitzloved#the way literally everyone else was like ‘they’re fucking’ and fitz over here like ‘uh uh no way nope love you but no homo bro’#meanwhile beloved over there just dying inside#also when he died I almost laughed bc I couldn’t believe robin was going to kill off the only canon gay character after torturing him#SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE OF HIS GAYNESS#glad she didn’t bury that gay after all#these books are so aggressively straight with all this talk about men and women and how different they are she couldn’t handle beloved#and his genderfluidity#jk I’m glad they even exist at all their bond is very compelling both platonically and romantically and I fear what may have been written#if they got together canonically#I love them so much#really excited to read the fitz and the fool trilogy hopefully it’s just as compelling with their relationship#might do fanart at some point if I feel it
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you know rereading the comic got me thinking and i feel ur the best person for this. im very intrigued by mitzi and asa's dynamic pre, during, AND post atlas. i really wish we saw more of what happened before atlas' passing bc mitzi herself said asa used to be so nice to her and i'm just like YO WHAT HAPPENED anyways hi hello love ur blog
hi! i’m flattered you love my blog! and even more so by the fact you think i’m the best person to go to for this question! i’ve briefly talked about mitzi and asa before when analyzing the lunch scene in my long analysis for mitzi’s and wick’s relationship, where i said this on the matter :
to touch upon asa’s treatment of mitzi, even from as early as the phone call we see that mitzi is forced to have a conversation with asa on his terms rather than her own terms. mitzi sets out with a clear goal in mind -- learning why asa sweet would attack the lackadaisy in the way that he did -- and she's repeatedly talked over and threatened, with her questions remaining unanswered. it’s very clear very quickly that asa doesn’t respect mitzi nor view her as someone worthy of his time like atlas was, and almost appears to approach her in a misogynistic manner. he demeans something as simple as her ukulele as a ‘teeny little guitar’ and acts as though mitzi’s tears would be bothersome to him, some sort of burden he’d be forced to deal with rather than a valid emotional response to threats, degradation, and the likes. while asa is by no means wrong with some of his observations, he’s certainly rude and uncaring with how he goes about it. when he tells mitzi that he’s here to suggest that she step down, because he so generously has her interests in mind, she doesn’t buy it ; once again bringing up last nights events, where asa willingly armed the pig farmers with the lackadaisy’s arsenal and sent them over her way without so much as a warning. asa dismisses this coldly, once again dodging any fault and claiming it was ‘happenstance’ and entirely mitzi’s own doing. even now, when he’s actively threatening her and making it clear they won’t stay friendly if she keeps trying to make it in this business, he still won’t fully admit to any sort of responsibility for the disastrous night he helped put her through. while this seems rather typical of asa given his disrespectful streak ( something even mordecai, as valued and as useful as he is, suffers because of ) it’s worth noting that this side of him is new to mitzi and not one she was at all expecting. she even says as much here, in heartstrings.
we also know that mitzi only met atlas due to her performing at the marigold speakeasy first, and it’s likely asa was rather present in her life due to his bond with her now husband. asa even admits that mitzi may be confused because they’ve ’managed a friendly coexistence for so long,’ once again hammering home this idea that up until this point, asa was indeed kind to mitzi, or at the very least cordial. but with atlas out of the picture and mitzi trying to take his position, suddenly asa is more than okay with getting her killed or taking all she has left -- even his plan is nothing short of apathetic and cold, an afterthought, expecting her to give up something important to her and only offering a one time offer to play at the marigold room ‘sometime’ with that ‘old band of hers.’ what’s important here is that mitzi is ruthlessly betrayed by a man who used to like her and is treated as a lesser thing due to his view that she’s too incompetent to run a rumrunning business. he also brings up atlas to, in mitzi’s eyes, ‘intimidate ( her ) into agreeing with him,’ and towards the end of the lunch, she looks particularly kicked and undoubtedly hurt. she leaves this meeting that could’ve stayed a phone call with a potential enemy made and with the world on her shoulders, now more determined than ever to be someone people like asa would be forced to respect. instead of being dissuaded, she’s been encouraged, and it’s not hard to realize why.
so, i suppose those are my very brief thoughts about them post atlas! but as for pre and during, i don’t think there was ever anything really there outside of peaceful coexistence. as atlas’s wife, mitzi garnered respect she probably never had before as a traveling musician! asa wouldn’t dare insult her or belittle her once she became atlas’s wife and probably felt no need to do so in the first place. especially since, after all, asa’s the reason atlas found mitzi at all, back when she played for the marigold room where i assume she was treated well enough given asa’s rather friendly mask. he’s a jokester! he’s well meaning and goofy, always smiling and his eyes permanently upturned looking due to the patterns on his face … mitzi wouldn’t ever really see the asa that many other people deal with, and even when comparing asa to her rather quiet and eeire husband, well, he’d still seem leagues impressionable by default. asa purposely acts like he’s approachable and harmless, and while mitzi definitely knew he wasn’t some angel, i do think she fell for that mask more than she’d like to admit.
how i’ve always viewed their relationship is that the very nature of it was dictated by atlas may simply existing and owning her. his mere interest in mitzi was something phenomenal, and by default, something people had to respect. asa sweet was kind to her because she likely didn’t linger in the marigold room for too long before atlas snatched her up. he’s then very cordial to her, probably armed with compliments and generous gestures of interest because she’s atlas’s wife and asa can respect that role wholeheartedly. it’s only when atlas is removed and mitzi begins putting her paws where they ‘don’t belong’ that asa seems to drop the ruse, because there’s no need to keep it up anymore. even though mitzi isn’t harming anyone and hasn’t tried to step on asa’s toes once, he still steals from her and puts her in danger without care -- not once burdened by any real guilt as he continues to threaten her when she doesn’t back down immediately. with how clinical the removal of affection is here ( because even mordecai hasn’t managed to remove viktor, mitzi, or ivy in such a careful or ruthless way despite his awful actions and words ) i find it hard to believe he ever truly cared for mitzi as an individual person outside of atlas. the way he so casually oozes disrespect and belittles her without blinking an eye is … interesting!
all of this is to say that i don’t think asa and mitzi were ever personally close. they probably never knew each other deeply nor made any real steps to try. they’d see each other because asa had a habit of appearing in the lackadaisy just as much as atlas had the habit of being at the marigold room, and so they’d greet each other and asa would be excessively kind in that bumbling fool way he keenly presents himself and mitzi would be pleased by his presence. very simple ‘this is my friend’s wife’ vibes and nothing more. i doubt asa would even be interested in cozying up to mitzi due to atlas’s implied possessive behavior lol … but it was kindness and it was caring to an extent. it just wasn’t as deep or loyal as mitzi might’ve hoped it would be.
#my asks.#lackadaisy#hopefully this makes sense!!#now i don’t think asa actively wants mitzi dead or anything. i do think he’d prefer it if she was alive … but he also doesn’t really care y#like. it’s not his priority to ensure her safety and he makes that very clear during the lunch despite his lies implying otherwise#and while i do know asa is acting a little crazy due to a third party stress on his shoulders —#he does say ‘things have changed’ and mordecai tells mitzi about his odd behavior —#i still don’t think he’d treat mitzi any better even if he was stress free. i just don’t get that vibe!#him and atlas are rather ruthless i think. in the sense that they can kill whomever at the drop of a hat just because they ‘have’ to#hence why ruby ( who’s known atlas for YEARS ) is still scared of him during the mini episode#like. this is how they are. this is what they do. asa can probably stop caring for someone in a heartbeat if it suits his needs#so i guess … maybe he did care for mitzi at some point? but still. they definitely were never close#anyway! hope this helps tickle your brain a bit! this is admittedly a dynamic i’ve only thought of in passing#so my views are a bit vague and not as thought out … lol … but enjoy!
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I know how it sounds at first, but I really gotta feel bad for the boys that sacrificed edwin; I mean even the term “sacrificed edwin” paints them in a more sinister light than they really deserve– considering that wasn’t really, actually their intention.
they were bullies, they were homophobic (and/or were self loathing gay boys themselves taking it out on edwin, or were equally likely peer pressured into acting a certain way), they planned something stupid and mean to do to an innocent, anxious boy with the goal of scaring the shit out of him, all because he was effeminate and an easy target. but they didn’t know or expect any of the ritual stuff to be real. they were all laughing and joking during the ritual because it was just that to them– a joke. a cruel joke, but a joke.
teenagers can be mean and stupid and they usually regret it as adults and grow out of it / grow from it. they were stifled the chance to grow out of it, at least while alive. none of those boys deserved to be instakilled and sent to hell; they’re really not that much less deserving than edwin himself. they were all just kids, after all.
#random thought but. yeah……#I mean think about if crystal happened to be killed somehow pre-demonic intervention#she would’ve been deemed deserving of hell by the standards we’ve seen. no doubt about it. if the dragon guys were pulled to hell then yeah.#she would be as well. simply put- she was a bully#she was also a teenager. not a fully developed person. a very damaged and neglected teenager at that#it’s kinda like the criminal justice system right. it’s like. hey you really think sending them to be tormented is the most humane and#efficient way to heal these kids of what makes them act out and allow them to grow and improve?#Crystal’s such a good case to look at because she’s. well. to compare to The Good Place which you can probably already tell I’ve watched 800#times and adore with all my heart. she’s kinda the michael of the group#no one knows it at first but she’s actually kind of a terror to people most of the time. but she’s put in a situation where she#suddenly has a support system- people who care about her and want the best for her- she’s given a purpose and realizes how much better it is#to use her powers to help rather than hurt (well. sometimes helping can involve hurting but you get it)#and by the time she’s regained her memories and has a place in the agency it’s much easier to reflect on her life and be like huh!#this system kinda fucking sucks!#not that edwin wasn’t an example unto himself but he was a ‘clerical error’ not a ‘rightfully’ condemned person#with his situation someone could argue that the problem isn’t with the system being wack as a whole- it should just be maintained better so#these ‘errors’ don’t happen and all the good kids go to their afterlives and the Bad Evil Kids go to hell.#yes yes I know they’re not in hell forever (hopefully) but uhh Simon was still there for over a century and for fucking What?#gay self-loathing and catholic guilt? his intentions were clearly not Truly Evil and more than anything he seems to have been punished using#how much he hated himself for being gay and how guilty he felt for it all. like shit aren’t those feelings enough of a punishment? if he had#lived through that ritual and edwin hadn’t– do you think he would’ve been Okay? I think it would’ve crushed him. chronically#man. anyway#this was an especially long ramble huh#rambling#edwin#edwin payne#dead boy detectives
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god bless sleeping 12hrs nightly
#stream#i hate it so much#like get up & do what ? CLEAN ? AGAIN ? be a PERSON ? AGAIN ?#i was so annoyed yesterday ppl were pissing me off so much then i called my mother & it was lovely & i told her how i scammed a vacuum from#amazon last semester by reporting it stolen bc dpd refused to deliver it TO ME & sent it to a language centre so then i reported it as a#dispute on my credit card got my money back then picked up the vacuum ALSKALSKLKSLAKSLA she said ‘u are ur fathers child’ & honestly ? real#cheap as FUCK like i GET IT FROM SOMEWHERE#but she’s also HER fathers child so i don’t wanna hear it 🙄#by that it’s ‘u gotta make it really reasonable if u want anything w my money’#i’m literally going to try to scam an electric drill or just use & return to make a fucking big room divider to THE HEIGHT I NEED bc it need#to be literally like 150cm even to go w the height of the tv bc that’s mounted & it came w the place so i can’t move it & also it doesn’t#even work ALSKALSKALKSLKSLA HATE KY LANDLORD !!!!! i mean love em they don’t do anything it’s full shithead hours 24/7 here & i love that#but GIRL ….#DID YALL RLY HVE TO PAINT OVER THE BITCHES HAIR ?#WOULD A BROOM HAVE KILLED YALL ? anyway ALSO IT DOESNT EVEN HAVE A CABLE#& U HAVE TO HAVE A TV LICENSE HERE FOR THE FUCKING TV 😭😭😭😭#like ALSKALKSLAKSLSLKSLAK literally … decoration#that’s ugly as fuck and annoying as shit like why is it THERRREEEEEEEE#i’m having my mother bring an amazon fire stick when i meet in north carolina like next week so i can maybe hopefully use it somehow like#just as a SPEAKER EVEN#that would be GREAT bc i’m not paying for cable i don’t even watch netflix as is#like let me get this podcast on the tele ‼️‼️‼️#determined to get dishes done today#running low on weed BUT that 1 drug dealer w cancer & w/o a bladder im talking to he’s so fucking hot hopefully he actually has a connect#for me to get smack ALSKALKSLKSLKSLKSLKALAK
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Something something the spot’s goofy antics distract from how dangerous his own entitlement and resentment is
#I don’t want to be that guy but I feel a little bit like spot gets sanded down a tad into just the fact he’s funny#and he IS funny I get it. but what makes him scary is the power to lash out with his entitlement and resentment towards miles#it’s you did this TO ME (miles didn’t#he was busy getting pummeled by kingpin and then venom shocking him back and the building was being EVACUATED it’s literally no one’s fault#but spot’s that he was there AND miles didn’t even know he was there when the collider exploded)#so I’m owed the role that you made me into <- miles literally didn’t do this#I’m OWED being your nemesis because I created you <- when all of itsv is about its miles own choices that make him heroic and not the bite#spot can’t even take ownership of his own actions. he’s like oh IM not robbing you that’s the bank. well buddy I don’t see you robbing the#bank I see you harassing some guy owning a corner store#like I get it. ur a cosmic horror and it sucks capitalism is pushing u down and u can’t get a job but like OWN UP TO WHAT THE HELL YOU DO#LMAO#and even miles trying to genuinely reach out and say look I’m sorry I made u feel bad (even though this isn’t an owed apology) and spot#STILL is hellbent on breaking miles back for an imagined slight#I AM GOING TO KILL YOUR LITERAL FATHER BECAUSE I BLAME YOU FOR SOMETHING YOU DIDNT DO#like god lmao. he’s a fun silly villain but there’s legitimate anger and spite and RESENTMENT motivating him purely to try hurt miles back a#as* badly as he imagines miles hurt him. when it’s like dude. own tf up to who’s responsible here#I’m not angry at the spot btw I actually think he’s a fun villain but I think recognising that resentment is what makes him effective as a#*frightening* villain and one that poses legitimate danger#tunes talks spiderverse#apologies xinakwans ik u said you didn’t want to read any spot posts hopefully this snags on ur filtered content block shdjfjfk
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Was thinking about the fact that Zac’s last two (main campaign) characters have been Rogues (or the SW5E rogue equivalent) That Are Creatures. And what if they met :) bop slug
#my art#described#dimension 20#a starstruck odyssey#neverafter#skip takamori#pib neverafter#puss in boots neverafter#I know it’s fun to see the IHs play different classes but honestly zac can play rogues forever.#1. he’s really good with rogues like genuinely. you give Zac a sneak attack option and he’ll just kill god apparently WHDVJD#2. I mean it seems like he rly likes playing rogues!! like it seems like he’s found a class he’s comfortable with and I like dat :)#I also just love that. here they are. Zac’s Rogues HWDVJSHS#between the brain slug and the cat. I don’t know where I was going with that I just. the range of playing both a brain slug and a cat#if it hasn’t been astonishingly obvious I Love Zac Oyama Characters. love it when that guy makes lil dudes and puts them in Situations#also slowly getting more comfortable drawing pib… I have some pib & tomas doodles I wanna post eventually too :) need to refine them a bit!#I love their relationship I wish they didn’t put Tomas in the book so quickly :( wanted to see them interact more!!! I think he wanted to-#-help them fight!!#wargh. also sadge we don’t have a canon Tomas design… if for any reason just cus I struggle making up my own designs if I don’t have-#-anything to go off of 😭 BUT I have smth and y’all will see soon hopefully :)
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not sure how I feel about this drawing but I’ve been in kinda an art burnout and it’s the only thing I’ve been able to complete 😮💨
(Redraw of image from the thrill kill animation wip)
#I think I’m getting out of this burnout tho hopefully💪#But like this took me 3 days to complete and I’d normally be able to complete this in a day😵💫#colorquest#debbie#thrill kill#the damned#Also don’t look at Rachel’s hand Idk what I was thinking#Or any of the hands tbh😭#Tried to edit the hands alittle btw in an edit
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me: i desperately need to finally clean up my room a bit and get some chores done on my two days off this week!
my period: uh well actually you’re going to spend all of both days being debilitated, curled up in your bed with a heat pad writhing in agony and being severely depressed!
#⟡ — kayleigh.txt#... i am going to do laundry later so i have clothes to wear to work all five shifts but other than that i am not doing anything#because i feel disgusting and gross and i am in so much fucking pain right now and my digestive system is fucked too#i was going to change my sheets but i don’t want to accidentally bleed on my brand new ones so like. just in case. i’m gonna wait 🥲👍🏻#everything can wait another week i guess ughhh#hopefully my fucking period is done and gone asap but especially by this coming tuesday morning 😭🤞🏻#didn’t account for my period when i started this job; definitely need to discuss possibly getting a hysterectomy with my rheumatologist#because like. my period is so fucking excruciating and debilitating. i am so fucking exhausted and miserable and sick of this shit#i am not ever having children at least not birthing them myself so why do i even need this fucking useless thing#my chronically ill body can literally not fucking handle this period bullshit it practically kills me every fucking month
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Me, too busy with grad school to participate, watching everyone else in the Kirby fandom participate in the OC tournament and art fight
#text post#I wish I could have joined in but I’m an overworked stressed out grad student lmao#I forget if I’ve mentioned this on here before but I’m working on getting my PhD#I hopefully only have a year or so left before I get it and then I’ll be Doctor Sweet#this is going to be a stressful year oh boy 🥲 grad school is lowkey kind of killing me I hope I can finish in the next year#I like what I study it’s just a lot mentally at times and I’ve been feeling kind of depressed lately#I feel bad that I take so long to post art on my blog and update my comic#I really do enjoy drawing Kirby stuff I’ve just got a lot going on in real life and am not always feeling the best mentally#so sometimes I don’t have the time or the mental energy to draw but I am working on the next comic page! I have one panel left to do for it#I’m hoping to post it by this coming weekend Meta Knight starts fighting Whispy on this next page#thank you everyone for your patience it means a lot to see people liking my stuff even if I take forever to post it#I have so much stuff I want to draw and share but not enough time or energy to do it 🥲
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i got sleep paralysis again the other night but instead of thinking someone was trying to kill me this time i perceived the being sitting on me as a nice guy, he just didn’t realize that i was there and that he was crushing me. he looked like this but with a longer head, more horns and just one eye, and seemed really sad, holding his head in his hands. in my mind the scenario was that he was sitting on a curb (that i was laying on i guess) hiding in a dark alley after something bad happened. so i wasn't scared of him i just felt bad for him. when i managed to get his attention he was apologetic and went away and my body started to wake up
shout out to the benevolent sleep paralysis demon hope things get better for u
#my mom had chronic and debilitating sleep paralysis at one point in her life#i don’t get it very often but sometimes i worry it’ll get bad like hers was#it is scary when i'm too asleep to realize what’s happening and/or the visions are very realistic like just a human trying to kill me#but when they're more fantastical i don't usually get as scared or it'll be enough for me to realize it's not real and it's totally fine#and kinda funny. i'm just laying there paralyzed like hey what's up giant floating red demon head circling my bed#oh my window is a tv screen? ok guess i'll just watch it til i can move again#i think it probably helps to have these instances where i'm not scared? that it's not always a bad thing#hopefully i can like subconsciously reinforce that enough so it's more often not scary
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#back on my super personal posting bs#last basketball game for the band tonight#augh and misery but at least it’s at Cool Big Semi Circle. Two hour drive at least tho. sigh.#if u from my state you know what I mean. actually wtv it’s obvious idfk Tacoma Dome moment lmaooo#man. last thing of band for the whole year kinda sucks ngl#our band is fucked don’t get me wrong but a part of me still loves it with a lot less cynicism than most of my friends n other band kids do#part of me is like yeah there’s stuff that sucks. but also this is where I’m meant to be and I’m having a good time#the reality is that our director sucks our band sucks nobody practices and we don’t really play well#but in my head#I’m doing well#i practice. a lot. because I like it#All my friends are here#I’m doing what my dad did in Highschool and being like him makes me really happy#which is especially why I’m switching to drumline next year to hopefully be on snare#I’m actually gonna kill myself if I get cymbals i fucking HATE cymbals I will fight my Director on this actually so hard#cus I don’t know shit about percussion#but my dad is a drummer and so is one of my senior friends who is sticking around after they graduate this year#and they’ve both agreed to teach me over the summer#so I’m gonna go fucking crazy hard into practicing so I can do percussion ensemble next year and do drumline too#I’m literally gonna dig in my trenches and fight tooth and nail to get what I want#and I’ve never really done that before#It really feels like I’m determined to prove myself worth of being a snare#not cymbals#not bass#snare#I feel like I was kind of always meant for this; I’ve just been putting it off yknow?#I’m the child of two divorced music majors#my dad is a drummer who was in band his whole life#he loves it. he loves it so much.#my parents moved to New York to chase their dreams and become musicians
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