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By the Fireplace
Jotun!Loki Laufeyson x fem!Æsir!Reader
Summary: You and Loki are enjoying some much needed togetherness and share some family moments, after he had been away on a hunt for a week.
Warnings: so much fluff... mentions of pregnancy and birth, Loki thirst, suggestive smut if you squint
Word Count: 2,3k
a/n: Yep, this is me, writing a Jotun!Loki fic - for the first time, I think... 🙈 I had this idea late last night and just wrote it down. 😅 Maybe this could be a part of the Winter Wonders Collection, @lokisgoodgirl ? ☺️ Loki is a Jotun, but not so tall. More like Thor 1 Loki. I hope this makes sense and you guys know what I mean. 😅 Enjoy! 🧡
Tagging: @lokisgoodgirl @lovingchoices14 @evelyn-kingsley @jennyggggrrr @acefeather2002 @lulubelle814 @vbecker10 @theaudacitytowrite @lady-rose-moon @aagn360 @fictive-sl0th @mostclevermiss @linaax @peaches1958 @simping-for-marvel
MASTERLIST
A loud knock against your chamber's door caused you to jump slightly. You were seated on the warm fur in front of the fireplace, with another fur draped across your body to shield it from the cold. Due to the unexpected loud noise, were you suddenly wide awake again, after threatening to fall asleep right then and there on the spot. Sleep wasn't a thing that came easily to you these days, so... You quickly rubbed your eyes, in order to get rid of the remaining sleep inside them, before you turned to answer. "You may come in!" The door opened on an instant. A guard stepped inside the royal chambers you shared with your husband, bringing a fresh wave of coldness, which made you shiver even more. Winters on Jotunheim were cruel... "Apologies for my unannounced and sudden intrude, my queen, but I am sent to inform you, that the king has returned." Your face lit immediately up. "The king has returned? My husband is back?" The guard nodded. "Yes, my queen. I shall tell you, he will be his wife as soon as possible." You had to swallow hard, in order to suppress the excited squeal which threatened to leave your lips and to behave yourself; maintaining your position as queen. "Thank you." You said instead. "You may leave now." The guard took a bow and left the room again. As soon as the door fell into its hinges, you allowed yourself to actually squeal in pure happiness.
Loki had been out, on a hunting trip for about a week now. It was the last one of this year, before the harsh winter would descend upon Jotunheim. In those few months, you usually weren't even able to set foot outside, due to the coldness and the raging snowstorms. Therefore, the royal men left for a huge hunt, in order to get a big winter stock. Usually, you always went with him on these hunts, in order to not be separated from him for so long, but this year, you couldn't. Something came in your way - or rather someone... Your gaze drifted over to yours and Loki's spacious bed. On the right - your side of the bed, were standing two beautifully crafted and adorned cribs; made of the best wood in the whole realm. Inside them were sleeping Jotunheim's newest additions to the royal family - princes Áki and Váli Lokison. The twins had been born only two weeks before the hunt - and therefore you had to stay in the palace. Loki wouldn't have let you go with him anyway, even if you wanted. He wanted you to rest and gather your strengths again - and of course to stay with the new-born boys. Not that he would've let you join him, if you had still been pregnant at that time. Oh no. Not a chance. No matter how, it was clear that this year's hunt was a taboo for you.
The past week had been exhausting, to say the least. Taking care of not one, but two new-borns wasn't easy. Not even with the help of a midwife. So, you were more than happy that Loki was back now. Not just because of that, of course. Seven days is a long time, and you really missed him.
Your train of thoughts got interrupted by a soft whine, coming unmistakeable from the left crib beside your bed. Getting up from the warm, soft fur, you made your way over to the boys. Áki was the one awake. He looked up at you with those big, beautiful ruby eyes. The unique marks on his blue-ish skin and the black fuzz on top of his small head left nothing to imagine, who his father was. While Áki resembled Loki a lot - except for the nose, which was definitely yours - looked Váli a lot more like you. Fair skin, Y/E/C eyes and your nose as well, alongside a tuft of blond curls.
"Hello, my little snowflake." You cooed, gently lifting Áki out of his crib. He was wrapped up - just like his still sleeping brother, in a warm, thick fur to keep him from freezing. The baby boy continued to whine softly, little mouth opening and closing, signalling you without a doubt that the tiny prince was hungry. You were able to tell by now, why Váli or Áki were crying. Most of the time at least. Therefore, you placed the fur, which had been wrapped around you aside with your free hand, before loosening your top; freeing the baby's food source - much to Áki's delight. Taking a last look on Váli, to make sure he was alright and still in a deep slumber, you sat down on the small stool in front of the fireplace, with your back towards the heat source - not to expose the new-born to the heat of the open fire. You freed his small arms as well from the warm cocoon he was wrapped in, so that he was able to hold on to you; gripping your pointer finger for dear life.
You were so caught up with Áki, that you didn't notice how the door to your chambers got opened quietly and the king of Jotunheim - your husband stepped inside. You wouldn't have even seen him coming, because you had your back towards the door as well. Usually, Loki announced his presence immediately, but since his sons were born, the Jotun king became much more cautious. He never knew if you or the were asleep - and to wake any of you was the last thing he wanted. Today, Loki was especially happy to set foot back into his and your chambers. Being away from his wife and new-born offspring was excruciating, but he had no choice. As the king, he had to look for his kingdom and follow royal duties, which included the annual winter stock hunt. His eyes wandered around the big main room; from the cribs, to the bed and wardrobe, down to the fireplace - where he spotted you, sitting on the settee. A smile spread on his face on an instant; his heart jumped in pure joy, love and pride. Loki knew exactly what you were doing, as he heard you speaking softly to the baby. On quiet feet, he stepped over to you, getting down on his knees on the soft fur behind you, before he placed his hands on your hips and his chin on your shoulder. You flinched slightly at the sudden contact, but your husband's deep, gravelly voice relaxed you immediately. "Hello, my darling wife." He literally cooed, pressing the front of his body against your back and turning his head to place a lingering kiss on your neck. Warmth and the feeling of pure love shot through your veins, causing you to smile broadly. "Welcome back home, my king." You turned your head as well to somehow connect your lips to his. It was an awkward angle, but the kiss didn't lack an ounce of passion. Quite the opposite...
Being separated was always awful for you and Loki, even if it was just a week. Being separated in this special and beautiful, but also vulnerable state in your life was even worse, even if it was just a week. So it was no wonder that Loki just kept his lips locked to yours for minutes and minutes, kissing you lazily but passionately. Your heart was literally standing aflame with love for him by now; and you realised in those moments how much you had truly missed the father of your children. "I missed you so much, Y/N." "Mhhh, I missed you, too, love." He smiled, and with a last, soft kiss on your now swollen lips, Loki nuzzled your nose with his, before he turned his head to the still eating baby. "And I missed our children." He said, as you felt him shift and move behind you. The king stood up, rounded the fur covered settee and stripped off his armour, until the leathery and furry loincloth was the last thing preventing him from being nude and leaving not much to imagine. You had watched him strip, of course. How could you be able to keep your eyes off your ravishingly handsome husband? You bit your lip as he turned to face you. Deep ruby eyes looking down at you, thin lips curved into a smile. Long, raven locks falling in waves over his bare, broad shoulders. Dark, curly hair was scattered across his chest and was leading in a tempting line from his navel down his pubic region and disappearing underneath the leathery garment. The muscles of his abs flexed gently as he breathed. Thick, muscly thighs lined the outsides of the loincloth. His blue-ish skin, which was covered in beautiful, unique marks and ridges, was literally shining in the dim light of the fireplace. You could feel your mouth watering at how delicious and alluring your husband looked - but this wasn't the time. You were recovering from giving birth to twins and therefore far away from thinking about sex.
"Do you like what you see, darling?" Loki purred, giving you that look. "Of course. Did I ever not like what I saw, when it comes to you, my king?" You flirted back shamelessly, having definitely missed those kinds of conversations. Your husband smirked, running a hand through his luscious curls, before he walked up to you again. "Would you move over, dearest?" Loki guided your movements, so that you were sitting on the edge of the settee on the long end. Your new position allowed Loki to sit behind you; one foot planted on the left side of the settee, the other on the right. He slid closer to you, pressing his chest against your back once again. Although this time, he enveloped you completely with his arms, helping you to steady the still eating Áki. Yes, that child was a little hog. Loki pressed once more a small kiss to your neck, before he settled his eyes on his son, watching him latch onto your exposed breast for a while.
The king smiled at Áki; one hand wandering to cup the infant's tiny hand. "I will never get tired of watching you feed and nurture our children, my love." You smiled, knowing that his words were true. Ever since Áki and Váli were born, Loki loved to watch you breastfeed them. It had something utterly calming and was even some kind of ritual by now. The boys were used to it as well. Especially Váli. You noticed this a lot in the past week... How the little boy was restless and antsy, while you fed him; always looking around for his father. Áki was quite alright with his father not always being present while he ate. "Me neither, Loki, me neither." You enjoyed a few more quiet minutes, watching Áki fall back asleep, until a small cry from your other baby cut through the air. "Someone's awake..." You stated with an audible smile. Loki hummed in agreement and let go of you to stand up and walk over to the cribs. He carefully lifted the crying new-born up into his arms, placing a lingering kiss on his small head, before he started to rock him gently. To feel the presence of his father seemed to calm Váli down again and soon both twin boys were sleeping peacefully in yours and Loki's arms.
Later on, after the princes were back in their cribs, you and your husband enjoyed some much-needed togetherness, seated in front of the fireplace, after having to miss the other's touch for days.
Loki sat on the big fur, casually leaning against a big pile of fluffy pillows, a goblet of the finest Asgardian wine in his hand. You were seated in between his legs, using his upper body as your pillow. Once again had Loki both his arms wrapped around you, keeping you locked against his chest. While you were covered in thick furs and blankets, was Loki still almost bare. No wonder. He was a Jotun and used to the harsh coldness of the winters in Jotunheim - unlike you... A shiver ran down your spine, causing you to cuddle closer to Loki. He noticed immediately. "Are you cold, my love?" You nodded. "Quite a bit, yeah... It's the same every year..." A low, soft chuckle escaped his lips, as he reached for another blanket to cover you and pull you even closer. "I know, my queen, I know - but don't fret. I will make sure to keep you safe and warm." His words melted your heart, warming you from the inside out. You turned your head to give him a loving smile, before indicating him to lean down for a kiss - what Loki did of course. The fire crackled within the fireplace, dipping your chambers in a cosy atmosphere. "How was the hunt?" You asked your husband then, who took a sip of his wine. "Great. Very successful. We have now more than enough food to come through those cold winter months." "That's great - and quite reassuring to know, that we are able to get our folk through the winter." Loki nodded in agreement. After all, it was your duty to look after your kingdom. "Indeed. It's been a hard, demanding week, without a doubt, but now we are prepared. The winter can come." You giggled, shaking your head. "Everyone is prepared now, except me. I hope the winter isn't coming too soon. I'm already freezing my ass off." Loki laughed. "I told you before, my queen... I'm going to make sure to keep you safe and warm, just like our sons - and I'll always will, as long as I am breathing."
#jotun loki x y/n#jotun loki x you#jotun loki x reader#loki laufeyson x female reader#loki laufeyson x reader#loki x reader#loki x y/n#loki x female reader#loki x you#loki#loki laufeyson imagine#loki laufeyson#loki imagine#loki oneshot#jotun loki
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hii! it’s me again, i loved the last simeon fix you made, your writing is so good! if it’s okay with you i wanted to ask how do you think the brothers would comfort a gn mc that has anxiety often? more like, physical anxiety like heart palpitations than emotional. thanks again for the last fic you made!!
Ahh hello! I'm so glad that you liked the Simeon fic!! I honestly loved writing it, he's so soft and gentle I was so glad someone requested him for the series 💞 So you are very welcome! lol
And Lucky for you I am the queen of anxiety and often think about this exact scenario lmao so to me, the brothers would be so supportive and understanding towards an MC who experiences the unfortunate physical (and emotional) symptoms of anxiety. Forgive me i went wild with this lol I based a lot of this off of my own experiences with anxiety and panic attacks. Also some techniques that i've either tried or heard work really well! I hope you like! Please feel free to send requests whenever you want! 💜
CW for general anxiety/depression, panic attacks, being sick (implied; very mild).
Taglist: @amberrskiies, @obey-me-posts, @sassykattery, @delphi-dreamin, @bite-sized-devil, @a-hidden-gem @otomefoxystar, @marvelous-maniac, @nonbinary-disaster, @selfmadender, @animeismyhappyplace, @vampire-tr4mp, @ana-dear, @gaychaosgremlin, @sidgethegamer, @meiloorun-tea, @temnuk0
Lucifer:
Lucifer has kept a close eye on you from Day 1 of your stay in the Devildom.
Therefore, when you aren't acting like your usual self, he notices.
You had come home from RAD that day and immediately went to your room, not saying a word. You usually hang out in the living room with him and his brothers after school.
Lucifer shoos his worried brothers away and beelines to your room, giving your door a soft knock.
When he enters, you are sat on your bed, knees to chest with your head buried between.
"MC, are you alright?"
At the sound of his voice, your shoulders begin to shake, and your breathing becomes gradually heavier.
You glance up at him and shake your head, clearly unable to speak at the moment as your breathing speeds up at an alarming pace.
Lucifer is by your side instantly, rubbing small circles onto your back as your chest heaves.
"Shh, my dear. I'm right here with you. Concentrate on your breathing. Deep and slow."
He understands this is a panic attack, as he has experienced his own. He has also spent countless times talking his brothers through theirs.
He knows all too well the feeling of helplessness as the irrational fear takes over your body.
Unfortunately, this was not an uncommon thing for him.
You take in deep, shuddering breaths, tears rolling down your cheeks as you try to focus on his touch.
"Thats it, MC, just like that. You're doing well."
Finally, after a few moments, your breathing slows back down to normal.
He continues to sit with you, his hand never leaving your back as you come down from the adrenaline of the attack.
"S-Sorry Luci..." you sob, wiping away your tears.
He shakes his head, pulling you into his chest.
"You have no reason to apologize. Let's go to my room for awhile, shall we?"
Of course he spends the rest of the evening focused on you.
He brings you dinner, runs you a bath, and tucks you into bed.
Lucifer never leaves your side.
He wishes he could just tuck you into his wings and hide you away from everything that would mean to do you harm.
Mammon
As the 2nd oldest, he also is used to comforting his younger siblings.
When the two of you are out at an unusually busy night at the casino, you begin to feel overwhelmed.
He doesn't notice at first, but when you run off mumbling something about "needing the bathroom", he immediately chases after you.
"Yo, MC! Are ya ok?" he asks from outside the bathroom door.
He can hear you coughing and he no longer hesitates to burst through the door.
You are sat on the floor in front of the toilet, hugging the bowl and looking very pale and sweaty.
He runs to you, placing his hand on your back.
Only then does he feel how hard you are trembling.
"M-Mammon...go away..." you choke out, tears rolling down your cheeks.
"No way in hell am I leavin' ya."
He helps you up, closing the toilet lid and plopping you down on top.
Your shoulders are heaving as you try to catch your breath.
He also notices how bad your hands are shaking as your fingers grasp at the hem of your shirt.
Shit, he thinks. They're havin' a panic attack?!
"s'okay, try to breathe, MC." he says, managing to keep his voice low and calm.
You nod, grasping hard at his hand.
He squeezes, his golden gaze focused intently on you.
"Keep breathin' and count to 5 with me, okay?"
You count together as you take slow, deep breaths in and out.
Eventually, your breathing begins to slow back down to normal.
When you can stand again, Mammon holds you steady and guides you out of the Casino.
"Let's go home for the night, the Great Mammon will take good care of ya."
Once you're home again, the exhaustion from the evening takes over and you find it hard to stay awake.
Thankfully, Mammon is there to help you into your pajamas and to get you settled into bed for the night.
He only leaves your side long enough to go grab you some snacks and water from the kitchen.
Mammon will always uphold his promise.
He is not leaving you anytime soon.
Leviathan:
If there's one thing you and Levi have in common, it's anxiety.
As you've grown closer, he has become very in tune with when you are feeling anxious.
He invited you to his room for a game night with everyone, but he immediately noticed something was off.
If he's being honest, he was barely concentrating on any of the games.
All he could focus on was you.
You lock eyes with him, and he can tell by the expression on your face and your body language that you are feeling overstimulated.
Which is understandable.
The sound of the brothers yelling overtop each other and the music from the game is usually enough to send him over the edge on a bad day.
His phone buzzes in his pocket, and he pulls it out to see a text from you.
"Levi, I think I need to step out for a minute."
He glances up to see you are already heading out the door.
Of course, he follows you. He needs to check up on his Henry.
He finds you outside his room, sitting on the floor with your back against the wall
"MC? Are you going to be okay?"
You shake your head as your lip begins to tremble.
He sits down next to you as you begin to cry.
You lean your head into his shoulder as your hands wrap tightly around his arm.
"Hey, MC it's going to be okay. Remember what I told you before?"
Your breathing is growing heavier, and your heart is pounding hard in your chest.
"Focus on the things you can see, smell, and feel."
You nod, attempting to fight through the fog in your brain to focus on something. Anything.
Levi watches as you use the grounding techniques he taught you.
He wraps one arm around your back, pulling you gently into him as you finally begin to calm down again.
"You did great, MC! I'm proud of you."
You give him a small smile as he kisses the top of your head.
"T-Thank you Levi. I love you."
He blushes as he buries his face into your hair.
"Let's just hang out here for awhile. I was getting pretty overwhelmed too. A-And I love you too by the way!"
Satan:
Sometimes Satan's mood has a habit of rubbing off on you.
When he's particularly annoyed about something (that something usually being Lucifer), you also find yourself growing irritable.
One day, as he is going off about something that Lucifer had said that morning, you can't take it anymore.
You can feel the anxiety building in your chest, tense and heavy.
"Satan, shut up!" you explode, digging your fingers into your hair in frustration.
The Avatar of Wrath is taken aback by your outburst.
"M-MC? I-I'm sorry, i didn't mean..."
"J-Just stop! I-I can't.... take it....anymore..."
You almost seem as if you can't catch your breath.
Then He finally realizes you are beginning to panic.
"Oh, MC..." he breathes, rushing over to your side.
The two of you had been in the HOL library, and the book you were reading slides off of your lap.
Your hands are trembling, and your face is hot with anger.
But you don't even know why you're angry.
All you can do is cry.
Satan has learned a lot from his brothers when it comes to this kind of thing.
"Let's focus together, MC. We both need to take deep breaths. Are you ready?"
You aren't ready. You're pissed off, and you want him to know it.
But you breathe with him anyways.
It surprises you every time how quickly the brain fog dissipates after your breathing exercises.
The sensation of Satan's hand rubbing your arm also helps a little.
"That's it, MC. You're going to be just fine."
You nod, your eyes fluttering shut as you focus on the feeling of his fingers running up and down your skin.
"How about you listen to me read this book I'm currently reading? I think you'll like it."
You open one eye to look at him and he's grinning.
When Satan smiles, you can't stop yourself from smiling too.
Asmodeus
Asmo absolutely adores you.
Even the parts of you that you don't think should be adored.
You had a shopping spree planned at the Devildom Mall for the past week now, and today was finally the day.
The two of you had spent hours already going in and out of stores, and you had quite the haul to bring home.
However, by the end you were quite tired and it was getting busier and busier in the mall.
"You okay, sweetheart?" Asmo asks, noticing the shift in your normally bubbly disposition.
Your hands are beginning to shake as you exit the final store.
"I-I um, I-I think...I need to stop for a minute." You stutter, your mouth suddenly very dry.
Asmo guides you over to a bench to sit.
He notices your knee begins to bounce at a steady rate.
Your face is flushed.
And you definitely don't look like you're about to pass out.
"Woah, honey it's going to be okay! Just look at me."
You lock eyes with him, his concerned face looking back at you.
But he remains calm. He knows exactly what to do.
"That's it. Now let's take some deep breaths."
You inhale as you scan Asmo's face .
You exhale as you think about how pretty he is.
His charm doesn't work on you, yet he has such a calming presence and it's exactly what you need.
You take a few more breaths when you notice he's been holding your hands in his this whole time.
You feel bad thinking about how sweaty they are.
"Oh, MC, are you starting to feel better?"
You nod graciously, your eyes never leaving his.
You're afraid if you look away, you might start to panic again.
Asmo smiles at you as he helps you to your feet.
"Let's head home now, MC! I'm dying for a bath. Care to join me?"
Asmo runs you the warmest bath you can stand, and makes sure to add in his favorite lavender bath bomb to help soothe you.
He treats you like you're at his own personal spa.
Not only is he the Avatar of Lust, he's the king of self care.
Beelzebub
One thing about Beel is that he loves his family.
And you're part of his family now, so he feels it's important to protect you.
Even if it is your own head that you need protected from.
Beel is also one that's familiar with anxiety/panic attacks.
He's helped Belphie through them countless times since their fall into the Devildom.
So when he sees you with your head down in the RAD cafeteria, and food untouched, he's worried.
He heads your way and takes the seat next to you.
"MC, what's wrong? Are you not feeling well?"
You nod, unable to lift your head to meet his gaze.
He notices how you are beginning to tremble; your shoulders shaking as the telltale sign that you're starting to cry.
His hand presses against your back, hoping he can somehow hold you together.
"MC... what happened?"
You finally glance up at him, tears running down your cheeks.
"I-I f-failed my stupid exam... L-Lucifer is g-gonna kill me..."
Beel's heart sinks.
Of course Lucifer wouldn't actually kill you.
And it's really not the end of the world to fail a test.
That's why there's make up exams.
But he knows you aren't thinking clearly right now.
And he can practically hear your heart beating out of your chest.
"MC. What did you buy for lunch?"
You hiccup, looking up at him in confusion.
"T-This isn't about lunch, Beel."
He nods, continuing to rub your back.
"They have the spicy rainbow pizza today. Did you try it?"
You shake your head, glancing at your tray of untouched food.
Beel picks up the slice and offers you a bite.
The pizza of course is spicy. Really spicy.
You cough, taking a drink of the soda you had abandoned.
You turned to yell at Beel when you realized you were starting to feel better.
"Are you feeling better? I heard foods with strong flavors can help ease off an attack."
You nod, unsure if you want to laugh or continue crying.
Afterwards, Beel takes you home for the day.
He is another one that refuses to eave your side until you're feeling better.
You insist you aren't hungry, but he suggests cuddling in a Twin Sandwich later that night.
Of course you can't resist his offer.
Especially since he's already carrying you bridal style to his bedroom.
Belphegor
Belphie is usually the one being consoled rather than the one doing the consoling.
He feels awkward sometimes when it comes to comforting his brothers.
He doesn't think that he's good at it.
But when you first come to him with a problem, it feels different.
The two of you had fallen asleep together in the attic one night after dinner.
At one point, you began to toss and turn, small whimpers escaping your lips.
Your erratic movements manage to wake Belphie from his deep sleep.
"Mm..MC..? You okay?"
He's still half asleep as he rubs his eyes.
Your breathing is heavy as you roll towards him, unable to escape whatever plagues your dreams.
As soon as Belphie realizes you are having a nightmare, he's shaking your shoulders trying to wake you up.
"Hey MC, wake up now okay?"
You cry out as you finally come back to consciousness, the haunting images already fading away from your mind.
But you can't stop the panic that begins to overwhelm you.
You begin to cry as Belphie stares wide eyed, unsure of what he should do.
The only thing he can manage to do is wrap you up in his arms.
"I'm here, MC...it's okay. I'll keep you safe."
Your forehead is slick with sweat as you try to shake the violent feeling of doom from your shoulders.
"B-Belphie, p-please don't l-leave..."
The Avatar of Sloth squeezes you tighter as he strokes the back of your head
The sensation of his fingers running through your hair is comforting.
It gives you something to focus on and hold on to.
"Shh, angel. Deep breaths. I'm not going anywhere. Now take deep breaths with me."
You rest your head against his chest, feeling it rise and fall as he takes deep breaths in and out.
You follow his lead, taking a few moments to focus on your breathing.
Belphie is patient with you as you come down from your panic.
"If you're up for it, let's go take a walk in the garden and look at the stars together. We'll be sure to have good dreams afterwards."
You hesitate for a moment, your eyes heavy with exhaustion.
But the feeling of the cool night air against your feverish skin and laying under the stars with Belphie is too good to pass up.
#cass writes#my writing#obey me headcanons#obey me#obey me! one master to rule them all#asks#answered#b3lph1es-p1ll0w#obey me writing#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me asmodeus#obey me satan#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#obey me boys#obey me brothers#obey me shall we date
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||A Naughty invitation||
Hi there sweeties, Peahen mom is here with another drabble request. So shall we dive into this one and see how this one goes hmm? :3
||Drabble summary||
Insomniac!Spider-man was just finishing up a big mission taking out another villian threatening his home but he was able to stop them. The day was saved once more even before tonight for halloween. However, as he was resting at home, he got a invitation to a Halloween party. It seems pretty fun and decided to go but what awaits him there? Read to find out.
||Warning||
~Teasing and touching is present in this drabble
~Heavy Nsfw is present in this drabble (If your under 18+ Please don't read this)
~Rough overstimulation is present
~Group sex is present in this drabble
||Guests in this drabble||
Insomniac!Spider-man/Peter Parker is from the game series Insomniac Video Game: Marvel’s Spider-Man 1 and 2 and belongs to my beloved friend @within-the-resort
A bunch of horny excited vampires are also guests in this one too.
((Note: Their will be grammar mistakes and errors in this drabble as others have this warning. But like I state before, this is written for fun. So I hope you like it and my friend too. Enjoy))
Peter parker was not expecting a unknown invite tonight after returning home from another day as the hero. He only was just getting some food when getting the random invite. He was unsure about going at first and it looked like a pretty fancy Halloween party from how the invite looked.
"Hmmmm, maybe I need to get some air for once but for my own fun. Who knows? It could be fun." he looks to the invite to see it was tonight. Thinking for a moment as the sun goes down, he decided to go.
In a moment, he was swinging his way towards the destination of where he was going to this party. He saw that it was pretty out to some big warehouse but that was fine. It had to be a big party. Insomniac!spider-man keeps on swinging through the air before landing to see the place.
It was already decorated in Halloween stuff and it seems the party was already on going from the sounds inside. With a sigh, he lands to head to the warehouse door and smiled hoping this was worth it. Getting to the front, he sees it was slightly open but even noticed a note on there.
"Hmm?" he takes a look to see what it reads.
"Come on in, Spider~"
He blinks to read the small note and yet he shrugs with a chuckle and walks inside. To his surprise, it was full of other party goers to see everyone having fun or some taking when having fun. It seems like another fun Halloween party night.
In a moment, one male walks over but he smiled to see. "Hey, you made it. Welcome Mr. Insomniac!Spider-man. Welcome to the party." he smiled already looking to the hero but he rubs the back of his head to chuckle.
"You can just call me spider-man but thank you for the invite." he sees he was happy to have a new guest like the others who noticed blushing or some licking their lips seeing him.
"Though, why don't you go ahead and grab a drink and have some fun....." he said to hand some apple juice to him that Spider-man takes it and was having fun.
"Thank you, I'll do that." he said happy but saw that everyone was having fun. Even if that the hero didn't know that he was in a party full of horny vampires who wishes to please the hero after hearing so much about him.
They didn't want to scare him but they will get him relaxed seeing him being among the others. At first, Peter blinks by how many they are since this had to be a large party. He almost felt like he didn't fit in but they were all friendly so it couldn't be too bad. Unsure of what to do, he calmly chat with them, hoping to start some conversation. It didn't seem too bad that some even spoke to him welcoming him to the party and some even asking a few questions about him. Yeah, it seems it was just fine and he didn't mind this at all.
Seems the party was going on as normal so that was fine.
However, as he was speaking with another person, someone else was sneaking up behind him while showing a light of a tease from her eyes. He really was cute that other vampires were getting excited just looking at him.
"Yeah, you can say that. I just didn't expect this sort of party to be so big." he said but the other smiled already finding him precious.
"Well, my friend tends to invite the only ones he know but you are a guest of honor so don't worry about it. He wants everyone to have fun here in the party."
"Well, I'm having fun true so I thank him for that." he laughed drinking some more of his juice.
"Though, it's always nice to see a new face around here. But we are hoping you are enjoying yourself here." he saw Spider-man nod. He was having fun at the party and it was pretty fun too. The other was listening to Peter speak but noticed the female coming behind him. As he kept chatting with the guy, suddenly he squeaks when a woman hugs from behind and kisses the back of his neck.
"H..Huh?!? Mi..miss? What are you-" He looked shocked seeing the female kissing and nibbling his neck and shoulder that she hugs him gently.
"Sorry for the scare hun. You just look so cute.." she teased that Peter blinks to blush.
"I..I umm thank you...." he mutters but he looks ahead. "T..though, I don't mind the-a..ah..." he feels her pressing up against him leaving more kisses that the other male looks to him and touches his cheek.
"What's wrong Hero? Under the weather?" he teased now touching his cheek but saw that he was already flushed now. Even seeing him looking flushed again. He tries to speak but gasped feeling more kisses from the female and the guy touching his chest. He felt relaxed as both were teasing and touching him that some others noticed to get excited.
Seems like the real party can begin now......
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"W..Wait, wait wait! S..slow ahhhh d..down! Please slow down!!" Weak wet heated moans slips by Spider-man's lips feeling his body held by a few guests at this party but he finds out they were vampires. Horny hungry vampires that touched and pleased him.
Two were slamming their cocks into his hole or double teaming him while a female was kissing his neck and another squeezing his chest. He was making such cute noises as hearing the hero moaning so sweetly for them.
"Mmmmmm but you feel amazing..I can't stop my hips. Your just too good.." One said as the other nods chuckling.
"Even if we did, you wouldn't want us to stop do you? Your hole is so tight eating us both up.." He even sees the female move to let the vampire kiss his neck as she kisses him. Good thing the mask was up but not all the way off. They still find him precious but respected his secret so they kept it on. Just the suit is off. Spider-man was trying to speak or stop his moans but they only grew in volume feeling the vampire males slamming even harder into him.
"Ahhhh!! P..Please! Please s..spare mmmmmmm mmeeeeee..my body isn't nuggh use t..to such rough t..touches I.."
"We know but just savor it love..it feels good right? Your so drenched down here, your legs are shaking while trying to bounce on our thick hot cocks. Admit it, you love this. You love it so badly your crying in pleasure." he purred but suddenly bit his shoulder hearing Peter moan out loudly in lust.
"Say it. You love this..your craving for it...aren't you hero?" he coos near his ear only to hear Peter cry out throwing his head back feeling the vampires thrusting even harder. He twitched drooling from his spot being beaten that he moans with want.
"Ahhhhh Y..Yesssss..yes I l..love it. I love being..mmmmmm.....fucked. I love this f..feeling. It's s..so good..it's too good."he whines that the vampire chuckled to smile.
"That's it, hero. That's a good boy but since you been honest with us..we'll give you your fill." he said before he and the other vampire thrusts again so the two females move to let them pleasure the spider. Peter cries out again cumming a little but he moans out in heat loving the feeling.
"Ahhhhhh m..more! I need more, please give me more! I want more of you b..both!!" he begs bucking his hips back with each thrust that they were already shivering and feeling more and more dazed. This really was a crazy party but Peter didn't mind. Right now, his mind was heated up from the pleasure seeing every vampire either pleasuring themselves or wanting a turn.
He keeps screaming while bouncing his hips, feeling more aroused that it made him even feel his nipples bitten or pinched. Both vampires growl loving the heat from the hero but hearing his slutty tone was even more exciting.
He even sees two vampires walk over still stroking themselves but saw that Peter reaches to take their cocks and begins to stroke them. They hiss from the hot touch but Peter was still bucking on the other vampire's cocks wanting more. His mind was hazy in the pleasure but he only sucks one off and the other being stroked.
"He's seriously adorable.." one said.
"Yeah and t..too cute.." the other said groaning from his cock being sucked off.
"Now now, you both will have a chance....he's way too cute to stop but we have all night just to play~" Seeing the other vampires being aroused, they knew this was going to be one hell of a lustful party.
#IC#silver roses#Drabble/short or long stories#silver butterfly mun#peahen mom#the mansion owner#a naughty invitation#insomniac!spider-man/peter parter#within-the-resort#resort fantasy book#peahen writer
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Good morning! I hope you slept well and feel rested? Currently sitting in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day.
Welcome to the working week although, for those of you working in the NHS, welcome to just another day.
Friday night was pretty chilled. It was too hot to do anything, really! The Americans think we’re mad for not having air-conditioning in our homes but, realistically, how often is the weather like this? I sleep naked and, on Thursday and Friday night, it was so hot, I didn’t even bother getting under the duvet!
Many thanks to everyone that listened to ‘The A-Z Of Mi-Soul Music’ live or listened to the recording on Mixcloud. Most people were probably thinking, “How the hell is he going to fill two hours with The Letter Q?” Well, as it goes, it was a really good blend of tunes! Hope you enjoyed it? Thanks for all your fabulous feedback!
I’m away for Saturday, September 16th, so The Letter R begins on September 23rd. Many thanks to Marcia Haynes G-Champion for being the executive producer on Part One.
Straight after the show, I caught some hot, sweaty underground trains to Camden Town. I didn’t know where the Mi-Soul stage was. I thought to myself, “I’ll just follow the music.” I needn’t have worried. Came out of the tube station and the Mi-Soul stage was right there! Camden Council had shut off Camden High Street for the day. Drivers must have been properly upset! Anyway, who cares about them? Big-up to Camden Council for pedestrianizing the whole area for the day!
The Mi-Soul stage was killing it, as usual! When I got there, just before 5.00, it was still 32 degrees but people were consuming lots of fluids and having a good time. By the time I finished my set, I was done for the day and most of the crowd looked knackered too! Well, they had been drinking and dancing for seven hours! I trudged wearily to Camden Road and caught my train home. Thankfully, my son had made a ton of ‘finger good’ (spring rolls, goujons, fried shrimp, sausage rolls etc.) which I gobbled down greedily and immediately fell asleep!
Didn’t watch the England v. Ukraine game. No West Ham players in the squad. What’s the point?
Congratulations to Ezra Collective for picking up the Mercury Prize 2023. Every school should have music classes, so that kids can catch the music-making bug and hopefully become as good as these brilliant young musicians. The other thing I love above Ezra Collective is they are genuinely genre-defying. You could try to put them in a jazz bag but that would totally be ignoring the funk, salsa, soca and afrobeat. Don’t stream their music! Buy a vinyl or CD album, so the band make some money!
Sunday was brilliant! The Trouble was out at a local craft fair selling jewellery. My son took The Mighty Josiah to a cool, garden party. I had the house to myself. Love that! I made lunch, watched a movie, then got on with some marking. I actually hope to be finished my marking by Tuesday evening so, when I get to the hotel, I can just eat, sleep and swim!
Hope your week goes well? I shall be saying my atheist prayers for you. Have a marvellous and momentous Monday. I love you all.
#mixcloud#mi soul#dj#music#new blog#lockdown#coronavirus#books#weekend#democracy#brexit#cronyism#election#radio
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[April 09th, 2023]
It's Sunday, and the Random Veggy Wisdom has been gone for too long.
For such I apologize, my dearests.
I have returned once again to tell you of how utterly beautiful and special you are in every unique ways. There is no specific standard as to what is beautiful what is not, in my opinion. You are beautiful to me no matter what your depressio might say and no, you can't change my mind.
In case no one has told you yet, my darlings: Do not forget, you are doing your god damn best, like you always have been.
Lately there has been too many things going on, and it feels like every step forward is getting heavier and heavier each day. You are not even sure how you managed to survive yet another hour when everything is so overwhelming and nothing makes any sense anymore. Tired is just the understatement of the generation.
Yet, despite it all, you are still here, my preciouses. Against all the odds, against all the negativities this world trying to crush you with, you still managed to drag your exhausted body forward and make it here with me. Marvelously done, my loves. You have done so so well.
Perhaps it may not feel much of an achievement. The steps you made feel too small to be considered important. Your depressio and its goon of close-minded ignorant people once again whisper nasty little things into your ears to make you doubt yourself.
Have this Cabbage. Throw it hard enough and it can cause concussion. And nobody expects that either.
Take a deep breath with me, my loves, and let me remind you all that: a tiny little step is still a progress. They all contributed in taking you forward. Making these steps is not easy. No one on this god damn planet can be able to fully comprehend the sheer amount of will and strength it needed to make this tiny little step. Small but plenty, and they have taken you much further than you expected yourself to make. That, my dearests, is amazing. That is all you. Be bold, loves. Be proud of them. Be proud of yourself for stepping forward when the world told you no. Be proud of your tiny little steps that you have made despite everything. They are real, they are important and they have always been and forever will be. To you, to someone out there, a random green chonky veggy maybe-
You have done far better than you gave yourself credit to, never forget that.
As always: I love you, I'm always proud of you, I desperately hope you are safe wherever you are and that if you need to be reminded of any of the above, summon thee Cabbage and I shall come to you.
It's sunday my dearests, have a good day, a good night, as much as good rests as you can get, a good weekend and generally a good time. If you can't, that is okay too. Give yourself sometimes, you are doing so so well.
With many veggy love
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Wakey Wakey!
Good morning, lovely people of Wellington Wells! Wakey, wakey! It’s a brand-new day, and I’m your cheerful host, Uncle Jack, here to help you start it with a big, bright smile. Let’s rise and shine together, shall we?
First things first, I hope you all had a restful night and the sweetest dreams. Did you remember to take your Joy before bed? I know I did, and I’m feeling absolutely splendid this morning. A happy start leads to a happy day, after all!
Now, let’s dive into some wonderful news to get us all in high spirits. Our marvelous Garden District has been positively blooming with beautiful flowers thanks to the tireless efforts of our local gardeners. If you have the chance, take a stroll through the gardens today and soak in the beauty. It’s bound to put a spring in your step!
Speaking of getting out and about, today is the perfect day for a picnic! Pack your basket with your favorite treats, bring a cozy blanket, and head to Victory Memorial Park. It’s the ideal spot to enjoy the sunshine and share some laughter with friends and family. Don’t forget to bring your biggest smiles!
Now, a little reminder for all you lovely folks: our dear constables are here to keep us safe and happy, so be sure to greet them with a warm “Good morning!” and a cheerful wave. They do so much for our community, and a bit of kindness goes a long way.
Oh, and here’s something to look forward to! This evening, the Britannia Theatre is hosting a special screening of “The Adventures of Captain Cuddles.” It’s a delightful film filled with fun and excitement for the whole family. Make sure to get your tickets early and don’t miss out on this enchanting adventure!
As we start our day, let’s take a moment to reflect on the things we’re grateful for. Maybe it’s the lovely weather, a kind word from a friend, or simply the joy of being part of such a wonderful community. Whatever it is, hold onto that gratitude and let it guide you through the day.
Before we part, let’s do a quick morning exercise to get the blood flowing and the Joy pumping. Stand up, stretch your arms high above your head, and take a deep breath in... and out. Wonderful! Now, give yourself a big hug and smile wide. There you go, feeling better already!
Well, I'm Afraid we've come to the end of our time. Remember to keep smiling, stay cheerful, and take your Joy. This is Uncle Jack, wishing you all a fantastic day filled with happiness and wonder. Wakey wakey, Wellington Wells, and have a jolly good day!
#uncle jack#uncle jack rp#we happy few#we happy few rp#jack worthing#whf uncle jack#we happy few uncle jack#whf#whf rp
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Oops wait Nevermind it's in your pinned. Lemme rephrase, what is your policy on oc relationships, shipping and so on? Interactions are welcome here which is nice but just asking more in depth. I know you don't like forced ships which is perfectly understandable
👏👏👏!!! *Happy tapping noises* Okayokay gonna need to stop stimming so i can type this out!x'3 Right! First thank you so bloomin much for asking!!;///; And second to answer such a question! My policy thus far when it comes to both ocs relationships and shipping are
-No shipping with ocs that are currently in a relationship! ( Meaning no crackships either please!>:/ not biggest fan of em! Again especially if said character already got a lover .n. Anthony for example he already got a husband Unu)
-BUT that doesn't mean ocs that are married or dating are crossed out from any sort of friendships! (Trust me alot of em need therapy and could use a hug! qnq) Oc relationships such as friendships are very much welcomed to all ocs of mine! If you wanna form a wittle fwiendship between my babs and yours I'd highly encourage it>:3 I'd absolutely love to hear whatever you've got up sleeve!!>:D
-[This be for more of mutuals or fwiends, folks i've gotten use to!] If you wish to plot more detailed relationships, such things like shipping ocs or giving them someone who will make a HUGE impact on their story and life. I'd very much prefer to speak and plan this with you in dms! Go into detail on what could happen and how it'll effect things and Story. [Also would highly appreciate bein informed bout any changes or plans you're making for the character you've put into a relationship with mine!!x'3 cause I'd most likely get very attached to them and have a literal anxiety attack if you plan on shooting them without tellin me before hand<:DD I MEAN COUGH-👏 Y E A H PLEASE KEEP ME INFORMED!!]
-Drawing interactions, such as doodling your oc with mine is perfectly fine!!x'3 Just no forcy stuff>8< if it leaning too much towards a sudden romance outta the blue i'm gettin my broom, i wanna know before hand before you pull out a rose to my child PLEASE Unu also DEFINITELY NO NSFW-! I'll block you for that-[However more stuff like horror or bloody situations i'd say be alright DEPENDING on which character! Anthony AGAIN for example is a dumbass and gets constantly chased by police force and murders uwu👌 And loko existance is just horrifying so placing him next to a creepy as heck oc is very welcome:D
-Oc roleplays are fine BUT PLEASE!! Tell me and ask to plan it out before starting ANYTHING! Do not just write it out and suddenly tag me out of the blue or dm me a starter for a rp i had no clue about [Also 👈👈 wanna know you abit first before we do so!]
-Speaking of though Do Not Draw or Write my characters OUT of characters during interactions either please >:< [If you're unsure how a character would act in certain situations just ask qnq don't just write them without knowin anythin bout em and makin em do stuff they'd never dream of doing]
Hopefully this be enough detail of the current policy! I'm very open with ocs of mine getting to meet or know others, oc related asks or interactions are more then fine! But if you want to start getting more specific and in detailed. Start making things cannon that'll not only effect mine but your oc too I'd want to 1.Discuss this with you,have a conversation before putting anything into action to a point were we both be hap AND comfortable with it!uwu 2.Also know you more first!! 👈👈 [Alsox2 I know both me and alot of people have put this but pls for love of god don't be shy or a stranger now \;n;/ if you crave both chaos and fluff just as much as i do we'll get along, and may be already!uwu *happy tapping right at you fwiends/mutals* THANK YOU ALL FOR READING THIS CHAOTIC POST AND THANK YOOOU DEAREST ANON FOR SENDING SUCH AN ASK!! REVEAL SELF FOR SENTENCE OF HUGS-!! Which may be delayed DUE TO THIS GODDAMN COLD>8/
#my art#digital art#responce#asks#persona#my persona#sapphire#lucy#doodles#but as i've said i be recovering!!8'D#to the point i truly hopin it clears up enough by tomorrow so i can#start getting things here done .////.#also i'm so bloomin curious whom this be q/n/q damn it i wanna hug ya you literally made me stim-#small bit of random chaos for all yous wonderful folks uwu/✨#hope you have a marvelous rest of night/day/evening and i shall#hopefully see you all soon!! <3 <3 <3#and here's hopin i got everythin down my head still feels full =w='
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Request! So could you do like, how some of the marvel characters (your choice) would react to the reader surprise hugging them? You don't have to do this of course! Also have a good day gor night!
Marvel characters x Male reader
Headcanons
I shall be using my faves, hope you enjoy ;) These are shorter, but there’s more characters than I normally do. I was imagining the reader and the characters are already in a relationship in this :).
Steve Rogers
- Depending on the time, I imagine Steve reacts differently. If hes heavily focused on what hes doing, I think hed give a small jolt and turn around. When he realizes its you, he hugs you back.
- Or he will have heard you coming, supersoldier hearing you know. Hed let you sneak up on him though, and turn around at the last second to surprise hug you first.
Bucky Barnes
- You won’t be able to sneak up on Bucky. With all the training hes had, he heard you the moment you stepped into the room.
- He would indulge you though, and let you “sneak” up on him and let you wrap your arms around him. I think hed place his hands on your arms so he could hold you as well, maybe lean his head back to rest on your shoulder.
Tony Stark
- I think Tony would jump almost a mile into the air if he’s heavily focused with something or just oblivious to what’s happening around him.
- Hed clutch at his chest and make some overexaggerated comments about how you scared the life outta him and how you shouldn’t scare a man with heart problems. Then he would kiss you and hug you.
Steven Grant
- Steven would be surprised and maybe give a tiny jolt or gasp, but he would melt into your arms and lean back against you.
- Maybe he would even turn his head to kiss you on the cheek or you two would sway from side to side as he tells you about his day or current interests.
Clint Barton
- Good luck sneaking up on Clint. Using his spy training, I think he would either drop down, crawl between your legs and hug you from behind instead.
- Or he would do some over the top flip over you to hug you from behind. When you pout at not being able to get him, he would pepper kisses all over your cheeks to cheer you up.
Peter Parker
- I think the only moment you could sneak up with a surprise hug on peter, would be during Star Wars marathons, when he’s doing homework, or working on spiderman stuff.
- If he’s working on spiderman stuff, his first reaction would be to shove whatever he’s working on into his desk to hide it, but when he realizes its you, he sighs in relief and hugs you back. Other times he would just lean back against you.
Eddie Brock
- You can only sneak up on Eddie and Venom in the morning when they’ve just woke up. Venom is throwing together what he claims is breakfast, and Eddie is half asleep against the counters in the kitchen.
- When you give him a surprise hug from behind, he almost spills his coffee, but he leans back to half sleep against your chest instead. He leans his head back to kiss your chin or cheek, and Venom purrs, giving you the closest a symbiote can to a kiss as well.
Wade Wilson
- Wade will throw himself around so fast that you can barely keep up and hug you too, wrapping his arms around your waist and lifting you into the air. No matter what height or size you are, he will lift you.
- Wade will swing you around and call you the most over the top pet names, and then pucker his lips in an overexaggerated way demanding a kiss to be let down.
Matt Murdock
- Try all you might, you can never surprise hug Matt. He heard your heartbeat and smelled you the moment you entered the apartment.
- He turns around the last second when you come up behind him, and wraps his arms around you instead. This ends with you grumbling about never being able to sneak up on him, making the man laugh and kiss your forehead.
Frank Castle
- Frank is another person you won’t be able to sneak up on. With all his training, even if you were training to sneak, he would know.
- But he would still let you come up behind him and “surprise” him. He would just look over his shoulder at you, quirk a brow and smirk. Maybe he would kiss you, but then he would go back to doing whatever it was he was doing.
Johnny Storm
- Hugging Johnny all of a sudden would give him a shock, and hed almost drop what he was holding if he was holding anything where he would then fumble to catch whatever it was.
- He would turn to look at you over his shoulder and pout, but would then smile when you kiss him on the cheek. Johnny would turn around in your arms and hug you back, squeezing you tight.
#male reader#marvel imagine#marvel headcanon#marvel x male reader#steve rogers imagine#bucky barnes imagine#Tony stark imagine#Steven grant imagine#Clint barton imagine#Peter parker imagine#Eddie brock imagine#wade wilson imagine#matt murdock imagine#frank castle imagine#johnny storm imagine#avengers imagine#avengers headcanon#avengers x male reader#steve rogers#bucky barnes#tony stark#steven grant#clint barton#peter parker#eddie brock#wade wilson#matt murdock#frank castle#johnny storm
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A Detective Always Interrogates Twice
A/N: Howdy everyone! So this isn't related to Everything Ends, just want to make that clear right off the bat. This is in fact heavily inspired by an episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia! It's from season 14, episode 5 titled "A Janitor Always Mops Twice", I'd check it out if you have the time, it might help make things less confusing. I also use a lot of 40's slang, so sorry in advance, but hey educate ya selves!
Hope you enjoy!
Rise Leo x Female Reader
Tmnt masterlist. Ultimate masterlist.
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The dark nights were harrowing, the radio had forecast a sunny day but in this city, the most light you get is from the streetlamps. Rain thundered against the concrete of the road, businessmen in their fancy cars and sauced-up taxi drivers sloshing their tires through the puddles.
The droplets pittered down into the sewers, leaving a dripping sound to echo through the tunnels every other second. If you carried on following the winding underground underpasses of New York it would lead you to a home away from home.
A lair hidden from the bastards and dames up above, they wouldn't even know a family lived beneath them. In the lair were four brothers and their pops, secret heroes of the night and friends to two lucky gals in the city.
Leonardo claimed to be the second-oldest, only rivalling his brother Donatello for second place. Currently, the schmuck was sitting on his bed, the pressed sheets crumpled under his weight. Between his hands laid a comic book, something he took a lot of interest in like the hipster he was.
"Oh ho ho, Captain America, you are killer diller!" he hummed out, flipping the flat page. Beside his bed was a stack of more brightly coloured comics, the pile leaning heavily due to the quantity. Placing the latest issue on the heap, Leo wiped his hands clean and spread them out on his legs; the baggy material of his trousers crinkling against his movements.
He stared off to his cabinet across from him, a smirk adorning his face. Getting up with an added flashy spin, he marched over to the cabinet and slowly pulled open the draw. His eyes were closed as the smug smile remained, reaching out for that familiar plastic covering, Leo grasped the bag and held it up.
"And now, as a treat for all my hard work, I shall read my most prized possession." Finally opening his eyes, the boy cringed. The comic was gone, skedaddled, vamoosed. Leo ducked his head into the draw, checking that it hadn't just slipped out, but no the poor boy came out empty-handed.
Quickly the mood changed, his peepers narrowed and his smile disappeared, "How could this have happened? I must be some sort of schnook!" he furrowed his brows. Leo rubbed his chin, deep in thought, "Some fat head must have done this, and I'm going to get to the bottom of this and give 'em a knuckle sandwich."
- Cut to the interrogation room, A.K.A, the living room -
I decided to go with my eldest brother first, he had a motive after all and knew the comic meant a great deal to me. Raph had a punch that could topple a building and he was the head honcho of our whole family biz, no doubt he ran into some trouble and could use the extra lettuce.
"Why am I here again?" Raph questioned, forced into the wooden chair, a spotlight blinding his face. Leo paced in front of him, "My dear brother, this investigation is going to go one way or the other, ya see?"
"Investigation?" Raph gasped, beads of sweat dripping down the cavern of his head due to the heat of the spotlight burning his skin. Leo nodded his head, tipping the tip of his fedora so it rests comfortably on his head, "Tell me what you know about Captain Marvel issue 1?"
"Ya mean that crummy nerd book ya read? Why would I take it, knucklehead?" Raph butted back. Leo smirked at him in a cocky manner, "Perhaps you wanted to make a few quick bucks," he shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. Raph rolled his eyes, "C'mon, I ain't no nerd like you."
"Hey!" Leo moaned out, finally turning to face Raph for the first time since this 'interview' started. Raph let out a laugh, standing from the chair and dusting down his suit, "I'm just ragging," he laughed pulling Leo into the side of his chest. Raph's grip got tighter as his laughter died down, he poked a finger against Leo's chest as he spoke, "But don't you ever accuse me of stealing or I'll punch ya right in the kisser, got it?"
"Uh-huh," Leo mumbled out, flailing out of Raph's grasp. The moment his older brother left the room, Leo went back to narrating, rubbing his chin in deep thought about who his next suspect would be.
My next suspect was none other than my twin brother, Donatello. He was a cold fish, a run outta gas kinda guy, the man was no dead hoofer and that was for sure; he could cut a rug like no other.
"Please, praytell, why I am here and not in my humble but extremely comfortable laboratory?" Donnie rolled his eyes, a real wise guy. Leo dragged a chair up and sat in front of his so-called brother, shifting the bright light slowly and staring at him, hoping he'd break.
"Oh please don't tell me you're trying to act like one of those gumshoes from those radio shows you listen to?" Donatello huffed out, Leo gasped, almost offended, "How dare you, you're such a creep, y'know that?"
"Oh, Leonardo, I've been called many things over the years. Please find new material, preferably not from the radio shows you fawn over." Donnie pulled a book from his side, hidden away by the chair's arms. His shirt sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, another sign he had been in his lab a majority of the evening.
"Where were you at precisely 6 o'clock this evening?" Leo carried on, he was going to get an answer one way or another. Donatello sighed, rolling his eyes but continued to interact with his brother's fantasies, "I was in my lab, where I usually reside. Are we done now?" his voice was dry and full of wit.
Leo let out a mighty groan, having a minor temper tantrum, "Are you sure you didn't take it?" he asked, his voice wavering. Donnie flicked his peepers up from his book, simply titled 'Calvert's Mechanics', staring blankly at his twin, Donnie huffed out, "I - ugh, hang on - I prom-promis-PROMisss-PROMISE-" he spluttered out, "I didn't take your book of ink."
Leo's head dropped, but he wouldn't let this setback stop him. He had a pad full of names, a list full of possible suspects. Kicking Donatello out of the interrogation room, he called in another suspect.
"You got me, I did it! I confess!" Mikey cried out, hands placed in a praying motion as he begged for forgiveness. Leo sighed, placing his hands on his hips, "Mikey I just asked if you were thirsty?" the box turtle stopped the waterworks and moved to a more neutral position, "Oh, actually now that I think about it, I am."
"Oh so you admit, you were thirsty, thirsty for crime!" Leo dramatically gasped.
"TELL ME WHO DID IT!" he yelled out, hands slamming against the wooden arms of the chair. Poor Michelangelo shook at the action, shrivelling up in the chair with sweat dripping down his spine, "I DON'T KNOW!" he cried out, genuinely terrified.
"I KNOW YOU KNOW WHO DID IT!" Leo went back for more, he knew he could break Mikey. No offence, he was a pretty cool cat when he wanted to be, but Mikey couldn't keep a secret no matter how important. All Ol'Leonardo needed to do was figure out how to crack his shell.
"Admit it, you took the comic book after one of your nightly food binges. Your hands got grubby and so did your eyes, you were so comatose you waddled into my room and not your own bunks. You thought you were grabbin' a napkin, to clean those cheesy hands of yours, when you accidentally grabbed my comic." Leo paced around the room, tapping his chin as he set out his trap.
"Then once you realised it was already too late, the crime had been committed and you were a grade A criminal. So, what do you say? Does that sound about right?" he finished, flicking Mikey a smug smoulder.
The young teen crumbled under the pressure, admitting to guilt though entirely innocent, "I'M GUILTY!"
Mikey was no help, the kid just kept confessing even though he had a rock-solid alibi. But now the family were out of the way, it was time to move on to more hostile targets.
"I know you did not just accuse me of stealing your dumb comic," April growled out, "And what's with all the lights, you're gonna use up the city's power grid with this bad boy on." she shoved the spotlight away from her face, already feeling the cool air smother her burning skin.
"Oh, c'mon April..." Leo moaned out, walking around the back of the chair, "How long have we known each other now? Four? Maybe five years?" he hummed, watching for her baited reaction. She shrugged her shoulders, "Leo, you're not going to guilt trip me. I already told you, man, I don't have your comic!" Before Leo could even blink, April was out of the chair and throwing it around the room.
Uh oooh, maybe Leo overdid it with this one.
April was a lost cause, like Mikey, she too had a good alibi. April held a job at the local bar, serving drunks and hosting floozies. But now I could set my eyes on someone a little more...alluring.
Her name was (Y/N), a sweet girl with an attitude for fun and monsters like me. She and I were like two peas in a pod, a horse and its horseshoes, a rabbit and a hare. There'd be no way on this planet that she'd betray me.
(Y/N) walked into the room, the white flow of her dress trailing behind her like she was some form of a goddess, and just maybe she was. Scarlet lips hypnotised Leo, his brain went to mush the moment her perfume invaded their living space, "Oh Leon, I heard about what happened and it sounds just awful. Do you know who did this to you?"
She spoke like an angel, from heaven who knew? But she was some form of happiness on legs and I couldn't let time slip with this one. There was a certain air when we were together, I knew she felt it much like I did. And I know a dame like that would go quite quick on the streets above, yet I still find myself stalling.
"Not yet, doll. But don't worry, cause once I do these sewers will be safe once more." he flashed her a smile, leaning up against the chair until their shoulders bumped. (Y/N) batted her lashes, letting out a small giggle, "Well, you betta hurry. I don't want anything bad happening to you or your brothers."
"You've got nothing to worry about, toots. Old Neon Leon has got this case in the bag." he smirked, eyes half-lidded. (Y/N) hummed in delight, waiting for him to continue.
"So, you were here last night I believe, did you happen to see anything...unusual?" he leaned in close to her face, could feel her breath fan across his skin. She shook her head 'no', her eyes were sparkling even under such an intense brightness, "I believe the only unusual thing I saw that evening was you."
"Oh ho hoo, you charmer!" Leo laughed out, clearly flustered. No matter how many times Leo flirted with (Y/N), whether that was subtly or not, he could never keep his cool when she did it back; it would send him into a spiral.
"Well, the only thing I saw last night was a pretty, young lady with the most fetching smile in all of New York." that caused her to blush, but Leo had to think for a moment, was it okay to flirt with a suspect? Eh, he figured since all the detectives in his radio shows do it, it must be fine!
(Y/N) reached up with a dainty hand and kissed him on the cheek, his red marks imprinted with a dark lip. Leo's eyes fluttered as the room stopped spinning, (Y/N) was already halfway out of the room by the time his senses returned.
"What was that for?" he asked dreamily. (Y/N) giggled, blowing him another kiss, to which he made a show of getting, "For good luck, detective."
And just like that, she was gone into the night, so much for an interview.
The day was coming to an end, or in more accurate terms the sun was about to set, and yet Leonardo was no closer to finding the crook that took his only enjoyment in life. Defeated and saddened, Leo trailed back to his room; his fedora titled in shame.
"Ay Leo, check out who I just found wanderin' the streets!" Raph's burly voice called out, echoing against the sewer walls. Leon bolted back to the 'interrogation room', there laying in a pile on the ground was Repo Mantis; a real bad egg, a no-good hunk of junk, a conman.
Raph stood proudly on top of the fella, his arms folded over his chest causing his nice new tux to be crumpled, "Why don't ya ask this geezer where ya comic is?"
"Wait, wait, wait...You stole my comic?" Leo sent his glare to the mantis pile on the ground, Repo just stared up at him with a groan, "Yeah, so what it was me?" he growled out, the man was putting up a defence. Leo shook his head, completely baffled, "How'd ya do it?"
By this point, all the other 'suspects' had entered the room, no doubt due to the commotion ringing through the empty halls. Repo looked around at all the new faces, winking at the two women until Leo and Donnie blocked his view. The crook sighed once more, "Last time we got into a fight I swiped it off ya knocked out mug."
"Huh, y'know what? That does sound prettttyyy familiar." Leo hummed out, rubbing his chin, deep in thought.
"Are you serious right now? You interrogated us all day with your dumb gumshoe logic and yet you knew who did it this entire time!" Donnie cried out, calm and logic thrown at the metaphorical window. Leo cringed, waggling his finger back and forth in his brother's face, "Ah, ah, ah, my dear Donatello. Don't be a fathead. A good detective never half-asses a case, I had to make sure all my leads were cleared before I could move on to solving the case."
"Leads? Boy, you sat us under a hot lamp for twenty minutes and accused us all of taking your comic book." April snided, arms folded and hip jutting out.
"Okay, enough blabbering!" Raph interrupted, lifting Repo by the collar and slamming him into the wooden chair. He pulled the lamp against his face causing Repo's pupils to shrink, "Where's the comic?" Raph gruffed out. Repo shoved the lamp away, rubbing and blinking his eyes, "I sold it to some guy in New Jersey."
"Ugh, of all the places in the world, it had to be Jersey." Leo groaned, maybe this was one case not worth solving after all.
#tmnt donatello#tmnt raphael#tmnt leonardo#tmnt michelangelo#rottmnt raphael#rottmnt donatello#rottmnt michelangelo#rottmnt leonardo#rottmnt raph#rottmnt mikey#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt leo#rottmnt leo x reader#rottmnt leonardo x reader#fandom#fan#fluff#fanfic#fanfiction#oneshot#tmnt#reader#teenage mutant ninja turtles#leo tmnt#rottmnt#rottmnt movie
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the duke and i | m ; f
“The Duke of Hastings can show you much more than what you write of.”
oneshot | bridgerton! au | f2l! au | 32.3k words
s u m m a r y >> wishing to be a successful writer in the regency period seemed next to impossible for the sole daughter of a dead earl. with arising pressures from your mother to tie the knot, you turn to your dearest friend, hwang hyunjin, duke of hastings and the most eligible, scandalous bachelor of the season, for assistance. when he suggests the insane of idea of marrying each other to help each other, you agree to the proposal, unaware of how much the duke can teach you of the wonders of matrimony.
w a r n i n g s >> noble! reader, duke! hyunjin, hyunjin is a fucking rake, reader is a fucking nerd, also really really innocent, hyunjin is sosososo hot, a lot of teasing, foul language too, endearments, sexual tension, kissing, making out, corruption kink!!!!! corruption! fucking! kink! oral (f. receiving) fingering, unprotected sex (stay safe hoemies!!) orgasming on multiple occasions, there is fluff i promise, yes there is angst, also seungmin cameo of him being a drunk fool, and slight references to regency poets and writers here and there
p l a y l i s t >> here!
t a g l i s t >> @fivefootfuryanon @h0eforhyunjin16 @seoulicitae @linoscult @aliceu @hwangi @shipsaremything98 @babyyynatty @kabira @danyxthirstae01 @sunseokkies @lunefilm @severetimetravelnerd @minaamhh @starry--koo @ninjaleeknow @hyunjeonnies @inlovewithasa @titleisyettobemade @maedesculpaeusoubi @fleeingreality @healinghyunjin
a u t h o r ’ s n o t e >> help i am back from the dead to finally give you bridgerton! hyunjin!! big apologies for taking so long, and i hope you enjoy this whopper :’) thank you for the constant support, and hope you won’t miss me too much while i’m gone ;)
back to masterlist
YOU TURNED THE PAGE OF YOUR BOOK AS YOUR MOTHER REPEATED THE RULES FOR THE TWENTIETH TIME THAT EVENING.
“And remember,” she droned on, voice barely audible from the din of the carriage ricketing across the cobblestone. “You must dance with as many dukes you can get your hands on. Especially those worth over 10,000 a year!”
“As you say, Mama,” you got out, not particularly focusing on her orders, but the characters in your novel, bickering sweetly with each other. You smiled at the heated conversation, marvelling at how the two people did not realise their undying love for each other.
Unfortunately, your mother caught the slight happiness on your face, and simply had to stample it. “Are you even listening to me, child?”
You hummed out a cryptic answer, but that was not enough. “Stop reading that rubbish, ____!” she ordered, trying to seize it from your hands, but you were too quick, keeping it out of her range. “You have a bigger issue at hand here!”
“Leave me be,” you murmured, hugging the novel to your chest, unable to feel its leather due to your long gloves enveloping your fingers.
Of course you knew of the ‘bigger issue’ she would not ever stop speaking of. It was another matter entirely that you did not care for it.
“____, listen to me.”
Groaning, you directed your gaze towards your mother, who looked regal in a light golden gown, shawl enveloping her shoulders. “I know you would much rather have your nose stuck in those silly little novels of yours all day, God knows why.” She brought a hand out, planting it on the silk of your lap. “But that may have been excusable before.”
You understood where she was going with this conversation.
Your father is dead now.
Pursing your lips, you looked out to the tiny window, exposing the other carriages closing up to the huge pathway of the Buckingham estate. The clattering of horseshoes upon the gravel entered your ears, but still could not blank out the information that lingered.
There is no hope for single women in search of a career. Especially if they have no fathers or brothers.
As your own vehicle came to a rest, behind the dozens of others, you held onto your book, a footman opening the door and holding his hand out to your mother. She taking it, you followed suit, dusting away at the dress and tilting your head upwards at the destination.
The Duke of Buckinghamshire could rival the queen herself with his estate — the faded, grey-red brick was alight, orchestral music tuning outside and seducing the guests to enter. Hundreds of windows plastered on the towering walls gave a glimpse of the chaos residing inside, a few couples leaning a little too close behind fans on the sill and men screaming over card game losses. A flourish of men and women adorned in their finest attire rushed to the entrance, the gigantic double doors of the manor welcomed every guest, and you stayed close with your mother as the two of you made your way up the steps, and into the estate.
The interior was even more marvellous — golden chandeliers dangled from the vast, painted ceiling, like glittering diamonds as it shed light on the hallway, servants ready to take any apparel and lead the way to the ballroom. Marble floors glistened as your eyes skimmed over the crowd, looking for a specific person among the riches.
Your mother, finding the host of this ball, patted your shoulder as she began to hurry into the main hall. “Come, my child,” she said as she tugged you along, “I shall reacquaint you with Her Grace.”
Before you could object, the woman rushed into the ballroom, the music louder as the orchestra resided right at the end of the hall, playing its sultry tune to the dancers emerging in the centre. You wished to study the place further, but were turned to face a large duchess of overwhelming dress, red skirts flowing and feathers of the same colour jutting out from her updo.
“Ah, Lady ____!” the Duchess of Buckingham greeted with a shark’s smile. “Lovely to see you back in society. So soon, might I add.”
You had a right mind to say that it was against your wishes, but your mother chipped in, “You know how it is, Your Grace. When one has an unmarried daughter one can only stay in society until that is undone.”
“Rightly so.” the Duchess brought her fan to her chin, studying you thoroughly. “My sweet, you are a pretty girl.” Her eyes landed on the book you held. “But bringing a novel into a ballroom? Do you not wish to socialise at all?”
“Perhaps not tonight,” you said with as much disappointment as you could muster. “The Dashwood sisters will entertain me well enough.”
The Duchess could not respond as you bowed lightly and left your mother’s side, rushing past the other men and women of titles before they could converse with you. Your eyes skimmed the crowd, in search of a particular man, but the amount of guests made it incredibly difficult.
The dancing continued on, laughter ringing throughout the hall as you secluded yourself in a corner, next to the refreshments. The wondrous scent of cakes, pastries and other deserts seduced your senses, but you restrained your temptations as you sat upon an ornate chair placed beside the tables of food.
An unfamiliar lord, as if waiting for you to be at peace, walked over to your side, and you had to contain your disdain as you instantly deduced the motivations behind his coming over.
Reaching out his gloved hand to you, he asked the most irritable question.
“May I have the first dance with you, my lady?”
Brilliant. You looked up at him, plastering a tight smile upon your face. “I deeply apologise, sir,” you began, opening your book. “I am afraid my firsts are promised to another.”
Confused, he tried again. “How about the next dance, then?”
Why was he being so persistent? “I shall see,” you replied, not outright rejecting him, but hoping that he understood the implications behind your lack of acceptance.
Beyond puzzled, he hesitantly dipped his head in adieu, wondering at his rejection as he thankfully left you alone.
It was not like you were lying to him — your firsts for everything had been promised to another man. You were just fortunate enough to use that to your advantage.
Glancing over the crowd one last time in search of that particular man, you dove into the novel, hoping he stayed lost in the crowd for the night.
A sad smile exposed itself on your face.
The thought of Jane Austen gaining little acclaim for the writings in your hands crushed you. Maybe that contributed to her publishing anonymously, but still — everyone knew she was the lady behind your favourite works.
In general, there was simply no other form of joy for you other than reading the works of women. The soul of your gender had only ever been captured by the writings created by ladies of your age and mentality. It almost felt like you possessed a personal connection with them when you read these novels; It felt like that Austen understood you on an emotional level, a degree not many people could comprehend.
You dearly wished you could write such flawless books yourself.
A slight frown enveloped your lips.
As if your mother would let you. Or any man she marries you off to.
Progressing further into the novel, you became so engrossed that you did not notice another man walking to where you were isolated, the soft leather boots near silent on the marble floor. You wished you had perked up at his presence, but you did not realise him there until he got hold of your book.
And snatched it right out of your hands.
A gasp escaped you, features twisting into anger as your eyes followed the origins of such fingers, closing your novel with a snap!
“Of course I see you engrossed in a book rather than in another man’s arms.”
The roll of your eyes was inevitable.
Because before you was the Duke of Hastings, smiling like a pirate finding long-lost treasure.
Your answering grin was more a flash of teeth. “No man is ever as interesting as a good book.”
Clicking his tongue, he plucked a flute of champagne from the table next to you. In truth, Hwang Hyunjin, unfortunately, was one of the most fascinating men you had ever encountered. The greatest giveaway was his appearance — the lean, delicate figure, elevated by his gorgeous features. His eyes, the colour of bitter coffee, shone with mischief as the glass settled on his plush lips, tilting his head back so his lustrous golden curls fell from his shoulders.
His hair alone sent a shockwave through the city. The gentlemen in society spent their time in the barbers’ salons after his new appearance at Lord Lee’s spring ball, and although they aspired, they simply could not compete.
Your best friend was a sacred image no being could ever attempt to replicate.
Releasing a dreamy sigh, he propped the empty flute back on the table, dusting away at his cream-coloured tailcoat. The trousers of the same colour hugged his legs perfectly, tightening at his thighs. “Now, ____,” he began, holding out his free hand before you. “It is time for a human being to entertain you.”
You raised your chin in challenge. “And what if I were to say no?”
The scoff that escaped his lips dared you to try.
“You cannot escape me, angel. Alas, you have promised your firsts to me.”
Grimacing at the truth, you eyed the object he had seized from you, crossing your arms. “What about my novel?” you asked. “I cannot let you discard it in any old place.”
“How about this?” He took a step closer to you. “I will keep hold of it as we dance.”
“And how will you do that, blondie?”
The man narrowed his gaze at the term — a nickname you had established the moment he had revealed his golden locks to you, to his utter dismay. “Well, darling,” he mused, the hand hovering closer, “You are going to have to accept me first.”
First. Always him as your first.
Of course, you were never the one to refuse the Rake of London.
So, making sure you exaggerated as much disdain as you could, you grabbed onto his hand, feeling the determined tug of his hold as he led you to the dance floor. Finding a fairly empty spot among the dozens of other couples, he fully interlocked your fingers with his, snaking the book-held hand around your waist. Feeling the hard leather on your back, you let out a hum of approval as you propped your free hand on his shoulder.
“If you dare drop the book, Hyunjin,” you warned, digging your gloves further into the fabric. “I will tread on your boots.”
His answer was patting your prized possession behind your book. “You worry as if you don’t tread on them anyway.”
As the orchestra began, so did his feet, commencing the dance.
You saw his eyes wander, pausing at a particular image which made him smirk knowingly at you. “I think you should be worrying more about your mother.”
Fearful, you followed his line of sight. There she was, talking to the other countesses with smiles and frivolous laughter as she pointed to your general direction. Their sons pursued her finger, and as they caught sight of you, you gulped. A small chuckle huffed out of your partner. “I think I might see you engaged at the end of the evening.”
“Do not even utter such words!” you exclaimed. “I will either die a successful writer or die a spinster.”
“You do know you can be an author while you are married,” Hyunjin pointed out, turning you about the room.
Shaking your head at his statement, you countered, “That could not be further from the truth! Do you remember Lady Andrews?” An absent-minded shrug was his answer. “Well, she lives up north now, but she once confided to me that she wished to be a painter. Guess what happened to her?”
“I assume this is the part where you attack marriage.”
“Yes! Because her life was ruined after she was wedded to some wretched old viscount!” You shuddered depicting the details. “In the last letters she wrote to me, she spoke of her easels and paints being taken away from her. God, it enraged me when she begged the heavens for any kind of assistance to be rid of the man, but after she became with child, there was no escape.”
Sensing your fingers clenching onto him tighter, the duke instinctively patted the small of your back with your book. “I cannot risk such chains, Hyunjin,” you guttered. “I may not have much freedom now, but it is still better than none.”
Allowing yourself to be twirled by your friend, he brought you back into his arms. His silence, although heavy, was temporary, as his eyes settled on you. “Not every man wants to imprison their wife, ____.”
You did not bother remarking on the statement. “What about your own marital status?” you asked, changing the subject slightly. “Have you not found yourself a nice girl from the many you speak to?”
Hyunjin scoffed. “Speak to,” he parroted softly, as if in disbelief. “The ladies that I...merely speak to...their families are a nightmare.” The repetition confused you, but you persisted until he pressed his lips in an unamused line. “I just...do not want to marry these women. I do not feel any sort of affection for them.”
After a moment of quiet, you let out a huff of laughter. “Look at us, blondie.” You gestured to the crowds around the two of you, the chaos of it all. “Both of us are plagued by pressures of matrimony.”
The music began its path to the crescendo, instruments sounding louder with every second your feet moved in tune to your friend’s. “It seems the value our freedoms too much to sacrifice it forever.”
He did not respond, eyes lost beyond you and the entire ball. His fingers upon yours tightened slightly, feeling the drum of his hands reverberating upon the book latched on your back. You cocked your head slightly, studying his faraway expression, wondering what matter had gained his interest so deeply. It was not an easy feat to gain Hyunjin’s attention.
As the violins sang out higher, the man’s grip on you loosened, almost as he became transported in his mind, losing all grasp on the reality he shared with you. Only when you smacked him lightly on the shoulder did he blink back, staring at you with mild irritation. “Hello?” you said, waving your gloved hand over his face. “Earth to Hyunjin?”
“Ah, um...sorry, angel,” he muttered, looking away as he picked up the pace of the dance once more. “I was just thinking.”
“Of what?” you asked, and when you caught the hesitancy in his gaze you groaned at him. “Oh, do not tell me you are thinking of some poor lady once again!”
“No!” he began, but then he frowned, shaking his head. “Well, yes, I...I suppose I was thinking of a certain lady.”
You grinned. “God help her, then.”
There was another moment of quiet among the buzz of the ball when he spoke again. “____.”
Your stare remained on his face. “Yes?”
As you kept watching him, you witnessed a slight blush arise on his cheeks. “So, um...as you said, correctly, that we both highly value our freedom…”
Not quite understanding, you drawed, “Yes?”
“And of course, you know how we are the best of friends,” he carried on, eyes boring into you, as if you were some child who needed extra explanation. “You know, how everything I would ask of you would be in our best interests.”
A raised brow was your response to his rambling. “Hyunjin…what is the matter?”
He stopped, realising he could not meander any further. Sharp sigh escaping, he proposed a plan which had been haunting his mind since the dance.
“I think you should marry me, angel.”
The words caused you to still completely. Not a very wise decision, considering the dance was still in motion, resulting in Hyunjin stumbling forward into you. His tugging hands had you continuing, albeit with much more shock.
“What…” your insides threatened to retch out of your mouth. “What did you just say?”
“No, no, listen to me for a moment!” He clamped his lips together, searching for the right words to argue his point with. “Now I know marriage is something you have disliked—”
“Dislike?” A scoff. “I think you mean absolutely detest!” You saw him almost flinch at your snarl. “How dare you even suggest such a thing to me?!”
“I know, damn it!” he exclaimed, discomfort clear in his voice. “But if you would hear me out!”
“And what is this plan you speak of, Hyunjin?” you seethed, suddenly tempted to ram your heeled slipper into his boot.
The man looked much in need of escape from this situation, but he merely twirled you about once more, the climax of the music about to begin. “I am very aware of your hatred against matrimony, and believe me when I say that I share in your disdain. Have I not complained of the very ceremony when mothers from every corner of London came to insist for their daughters’ hands?
Grumbling, you nodded. “Exactly, so obviously I must have a good reason why I spoke of this matter.”
“Well, spit it out, then!” you snapped. “It already sounds outrageous.”
With the instruments chanting louder, he commenced. “We both have a dilemma with marriage, especially concerning the burden. Your biggest problem is the freedom being taken from you. Mine is having to live with a woman I have no feelings towards.”
He continued, feet moving quicker and quicker to the melody of the music. “But see, if we wed each other, then those problems would be solved instantly!”
You looked at him as if he was insane. “You do realise that I would still be married. My scrap of independence would be snatched from me anyway.”
“That would be true if you were marrying some silly old lord, who had no interest in you other than your titles.”
His hand on your back pulled you a little closer. “But you see, angel, you would be marrying me.”
Around and around, the two of you whirled, never stopping for a second to the music. “And you have known me long enough to know that I would never stop you from pursuing your passions.”
Higher the melody climbed, lost to your ears as your eyes widened.
His words rang through you with every note that escaped the instruments, sailing through the crescendo that washed over the ball. “You...you would let me write?”
Hyunjin furrowed your brows. “Did you think any different?” he asked, quite offended by your surprise. “Did you really expect that kind of behaviour from me?”
You did not hide your fears. “You may be my dearest friend, but you are still a man.”
That had him twisting his mouth into a scowl. His hands on you clenched harder. “You know me better than that, darling.”
You did, in fairness. The Duke of Hastings, leading you along this dramatic waltz, had been a constant in the entirety of your life. It was in these very balls that he had happened to stumble upon you, a child barely touching your second decade with a children’s book buried in your face. He, the exact same age but with much more excitement, snatched that book from your hands and made you leave your seat, chasing the boy around the ballroom till you burst into tears. After that rather unfortunate event, you vowed never to be in the same room as him, but you somehow ended up being his best friend instead.
Maybe it was because both of you had overbearing parents, driven by pressures of society and personal expectations. Or maybe it was the simple notion that after a while, you began to enjoy his eccentric behaviour and rather addictive smiles.
Perhaps it was better that way, too. For you could not imagine life without Hwang Hyunjin.
Your gaze was apologetic. “I do, blondie,” you supposed, but you steeled yourself once more. “But I have a condition!”
“And what condition would that be?” he asked, swirling you around and around, waiting for the climax to strike any second. The ladies around you were breathless, ecstatic, the gentlemen smug, but you and the duke had only business in your minds.
“Promise me that we remain the same,” you said, never leaving his sight when the music boomed across the ballroom, raw melodies dancing along with everyone within the four golden walls. His grip on you was firm, unflinching as he spun you across the marble floor one last time, dark boots never missing a single note as he nearly swept you away from the chaos of society. “Promise me that you and I will not change.”
And as the music drifted to an end, he finally slowed down. There was a moment of silence, heavier still under his stare.
“I cannot promise you that.”
His next words sent the strangest sensation down your spine.
“For we would not be friends anymore. We would be husband and wife.”
The ballroom erupted into applause.
You blinked back at the new noise, head darting at the couples beginning to clap at the ended dance. Although the others began to depart, the two of you lingered on the floor, hands still clasped.
His stare never faltered. “I cannot promise you that,” he repeated, slowly shaking his head. “Nor can I guarantee you continuity.
“What I can promise, though, is that I will not take away your freedom. You may write as much as you wish.���
It was then his hold on you eased, stepping away as he held out the book — never dropped from his hand, but firm as he brought it before you, a silent offer.
“What do you say, angel?” His gaze was impenetrable. “Will you be my wife?”
Among the lords and ladies, there was only you and him.
You and him against the world.
It was difficult, finding allies in a time you lived in. Reminded of your mother, you had a terrible feeling that only doom would fall upon you if you refused his help.
With good reason, too. No man could match what Hyunjin offered. No man would ever let you pursue your literary passions.
Not a singular male in this society would ever care for your basic freedom, other than he.
Another first, then.
So, in the middle of the ballroom, with your mother watching, you held onto the book, gripping it with a firm promise.
You dared not depart from the Duke of Hastings’ stare.
“Yes, blondie.”
You exposed a smile, a mocking quirk in your brow.
“A thousand times yes.”
THE WEDDING HAPPENED QUITE IMMEDIATELY AFTER THAT NIGHT.
You insisted the wedding be small and intimate, for the ceremonies were already boring enough, but both your mother and Hyunjin insisted it be a grand occasion.
The two of you tied the knot at Fulham Palace, a most esteemed estate dating back centuries, adorned in the finest flowers and gifts of nature surrounding its red-bricked walls. You had been there often in your childhood, due to the place being situated at the heart of your friend’s lands outside of the city, but seeing it decorated for your own wedding elevated the speciality of this abbey.
Many of London’s lords and ladies, dukes and duchesses had rushed to your invitation, fawning over the festivities and seated impatiently on the uncomfortable seating to await your arrival. Your friends, some bridesmaids, prepared your hair and fixed your dress, ordering everyone to take their places and sounding the instruments behind the altar to begin playing.
In truth, the ceremony was a blur.
Because this whole occasion was merely a plan, you did not deign to remember the memorable details of each event, the people who came or even the words recited by the priest.
However, the one figure you could not forget was your best friend.
No, you could not forget his face as you walked up to him slowly. It was a sight you had seen him expose only a few times in his life, when he would observe a flower open its petals in the morning, or regard a particular enchanting piece of artwork in an exhibition, which he would refuse to walk away from. You had raised a quizzical brow at him then as you slid the ring upon his finger, but he only offered you a wink, expression fading when the priest addressed you both.
Of course, another little detail you distinctly remembered was the declaration. The words which sealed a woman’s imprisonment.
“I now pronounce you man and wife.”
Your gaze had darted to Hyunjin at that, finding him staring at you already. Meeting his gaze, you found the comfort you hoped you would receive.
The Duke of Hastings will not throw you into the cages of matrimony.
This very thought had relieved your nerves as you thanked every guest who congratulated you on the wedding, a few friends wiggling their eyebrows and wishing luck for the honeymoon. You waved them off, not really understanding the connotations, but carried on struggling at the reception until the sun had descended, and it was time for everyone to return home.
That very evening, the two of you set off for this particular honeymoon.
You bid your farewells to your mother, she much too emotional for your liking, and because Hyunjin had no parents to bid his farewells to, the wedding carriage was up and running before the moon had taken reins of the night sky.
Conversation never ran dry as you journeyed out of the din of London and into the countryside. Your destination was a couple of hours away, so rest was mostly out of the question as the carriage sped on, eager to get the newlyweds to their new home.
It was well into the night when you arrived at Hemingford Manor, one of the many estates Hyunjin had ownership of ever since his father’s passing. Engulfed within the lush nature of Cambridgeshire, the little estate exuded a comfortable sort of radiance which you would expect from warm fires of winter. The gardens surrounding its walls was a whole maze of trees, bushes and an assortment of flowers, heightening its already ancient regality.
The arrangements were made immediately, a small household welcoming you at the door as they took your luggage, unpacking everything as Hyunjin showed you around. It was extremely intimate, you noticed, every feature of any room possessing an unusual air well before your time, almost telling a story of theirs from centuries ago.
He brought you to the bedroom, the grand bed instantly in sight as it’s curtains were fully drawn around its wooden columns, bedsheets black and red with gold thread stitched in swirls at the hems. Two ornate chairs sat beside the windows, and a huge dresser sat opposite the bed, beside it the door to the en-suite bathroom. Oil paintings littered the red walls of his ancestors, noticing your friend’s portrait made in his youth. The entire room radiated warmth, and you found yourself easing completely in his den.
“Well, I guess I should prepare for sleep,” you began, shrugging off your coat, walking over to the chairs and settling it upon one of the arms.
Hyunjin blinked back, as if his thoughts had been interrupted. “Ah, yes, of course.” He gestured to the bed. “You can have this room. I can stay in the one next door.”
You looked at him as if he was insane. “Do a husband and wife not share the same bedroom?”
“Well—” the man put his hands on his hips. “Yes, but I do not want to make you uncomfortable.”
“Uncomfortable?” You stepped towards him, quite offended. “Have you forgotten when we would sleep in the same bed whenever I stayed at yours for the summer?”
He narrowed his eyes at you. “We were children then, sweetheart. The situation is quite different now.”
“No, it is not,” you countered, matching his stance. “You were my dearest friend before, and you are my dearest friend now. That will always stay the same.”
That certainly quietened his tongue. He studied the stubborn quirk of your lips before sighing, unbuttoning his waistcoat. “Fine,” he quipped. “But I will not hesitate to throw you off the bed if you hog the sheets!”
You only offered him a scoff in response.
As the both of you began to ready yourself for bed, you opened your bag, making sure your papers were still intact. Counting up your drafts, you hummed in satisfaction before tying up the bag once again, setting it beside the dresser. Now, in your white nightgown, you went to the grand bed, slipping into the sheets.
Grabbing hold of Pride and Prejudice, you continued reading from where you left off as you waited for Hyunjin to be suitably dressed for slumber. You hoped he would take longer than usual, but he disappointed you, as the fool always does, by arriving much earlier, frilled-collared shirt all loose and trousers all slack.
The minute he saw you reading, he let out a groan. Leaning over, he snatched the book right out of your hands. “Hey!” You exclaimed, trying to take it back, but he stretched his hand away from you, propping it not-so-gently upon his bedside table. “Oh my God, not that harshly, you oaf! The book could tear!”
“I do not care!” He jeered, sliding into the sheets, propping his elbow so his hand supported his head. He swiped his locks away from his face, showing his full irritation. “Having your nose in a book on our wedding night!”
“Mr. Darcy was entertaining me just fine,” you sniped, crossing your arms. “You just had to be a Wickham and ruin the whole experience.”
“If this Wickham is a gift from the Lord Himself, then damn do I accept his name with pride!”
His ignorance made you laugh. Sliding your eyes to him, you matched his position, snuggling further into the pillows. “What does one even do on the wedding night anyway?”
Hyunjin’s amusement faltered at this, plush mouth parting ever so slightly.
The Duke knew exactly what one does on the wedding night.
As he raked his gaze over you, you waiting patiently for his answer, he wondered whether he should answer you truthfully. Tell you that he should be towering over you, kiss those pretty lips until they’re swollen and spit-slick, and take off that nightgown and uncover you before the stars. It was only customary, but the thought had his insides churning.
So he decided completely against it, to his absolute disappointment.
“How would I know? It is my first marriage as well.”
“Yes, but you’re aware of the ladies, and the gossip.” You leaned closer to him, unaware that the man’s heart halted for a second at the mere action. “When the guests were wishing me luck on my honeymoon they kept chuckling like children, as if they were in on a secret I was excluded from.”
“To hell with the guests, angel.” Hyunjin patted on your pillows, urging you to put your head down. “Our joining was very different from theirs. We can make our own rules.”
“Finally, an intelligent word from you!” You declared, but yelped as he pressed his hand on your head, sending you to the cushions. “Too harsh!”
“As I said, own rules,” he reminded you, a smile curling his lips. “Now please sleep! It is well past midnight.”
You shook your head no, resting your head in your arms. “Come on, Hyunjin! We have the whole night to ourselves, and you wish to sleep?”
Yes, he very much did. Because if he kept looking at you, excited and giggly and adorable, the tight leash he kept on himself would snap.
He could not have his hands on you on the very first night. Not when you had no knowledge of what that meant.
“Well then,” he started, using all the strength in him to not curl a stray lock around your ear. “Tell me of your writings.”
His request had you face burning. “Never.”
The man made a face. “What?” He demanded, nudging you with his fingers. “Now you must tell me!”
“No, not now,” you hurried off, hiding your face in the pillows. God, the thought of your friend reading anything of yours made you sick to the stomach. “Argh!”
“But why?” he asked, a beginning of a pout etching onto his lips. “Do you not trust me, even though I have tolerated you for all these years?”
You turned to him again, furrowing your brows. “I do trust you!” You reassured him. “And I will tell you at the right time. Just...not at this moment.”
When you saw a frown develop on his face, you pouted at him, shame coursing through your bones. “To tell you the truth, Hyunjin, I am just embarrassed. It is so rough at the moment, so I want to show you the very best.”
“But I want to see everything,” he muttered. “Your worst and your best.”
“And you will see it!” You reached out, wrapping your fingers around his slender hand. The boy gaped at you at the sudden contact, but you continued. “You will be the first to see my drafts. I give you my word.”
The honest consolation brought the duke to a stillness. Hand enveloped by your fingers, he watched you await his reaction.
Being the first to see your private writings was truly an asset. A special secret he would never share to another.
“I wait patiently for that time, then,” he said, offering you a smile which melted your heart. “Now, I beg, sleep!” he added, bringing the sheets up to your chin. “I can tell you’re exhausted.”
Knowing your whining would be of no use, you looked at him through heavy-lidded eyes. “Fine, you absolute bother.” You closed your eyes. “Goodnight, blondie.”
A small chuckle escaped him, never forgetting the hold you had over his hand. He regarded over your resting figure, curling ever so slightly next to him, and he just could not help himself.
Stretching out his other hand, his fingers tucked away your stray locks from your face, curling them behind your ear. The smile ghosted on his lips, and only then he sank further into the pillows.
“Goodnight, angel.”
MARITAL LIFE WAS NOT AS TERRIBLE AS YOU IMAGINED IT TO BE.
A couple of weeks had passed as this ‘honeymoon’ period progressed in Hemingford, and you were beginning to settle in quite nicely to the peaceful time. The birds never ceased to chirp joyfully around the manor, the nature which engulfed the two of you like another living being surrounding you, silent yet welcoming.
The scenery was perfect for someone like you, who was waiting for an environment like this to bring out the papers and put that inspiration to use. Hours rushed by as you sat under the trees beside the manor, writing away the scenes in your head as the maids brought you food. A few of those hours may have just been wasted on daydreaming, but that was the beauty of this entire situation — you simply had the time to waste in this retreat.
Hyunjin had been more than satisfactory: he always came to dine with you for all meals, never concluding conversation, and made sure to accompany you on walks around the lands. Everytime you would step into new landmarks he would instantly recall the history behind it, explaining the work his forefathers had done on the manor, and lead you along till the sun followed you two down the horizon.
You had initial fears. Just because he was your best friend before, it did not predict what his behaviour would be after marriage. You had heard many marital horror stories during the seasons of London society, and each one was worse than the last. Although you always knew the duke could never hurt you, there was no trusting the opposite sex. Fortunately for you, he rid those doubts from your mind, and maybe you began to have faith in the future.
There was, however, a downside to your new husband.
“Why will you not show me the drafts?!” he whined for the last time, following you into the house. Rolling your eyes for the millionth time, you took off your bonnet, handing it to the maid nearby. “I have waited long enough!”
“I do not have to explain myself to you!” you argued back, grabbing your skirts as you rushed up the stairs, Hyunjin right at your heels.
The man was much too quick, overtaking you instantly and barring you from stepping into the hallway. A groan was your reaction. “Let me through!” you ordered.
“Tell me what your book is about.”
“I am not telling you anything!”
He curved closer to you, blond locks sliding off his shoulders. “Why?” he hissed, and you stayed stubborn as his hand on the bannister snuck closer to yours. “What have you written in there that is so exclusive?”
You bit the inside of your cheek, crossing your arms.
It was not like you had written an anti-Duke of Hastings manifesto. Once again, it was just your humiliation — although you loved to write, there was absolutely no way you could ever willingly show him your work as of this moment.
You could not have your best friend be disappointed by your creations.
So you turned completely on your heel, descending down the stairs.
“Hey!” you heard the man shout as you stepped into the entryway, picking up your book. “Where are you going?”
“To talk to the trees!” You looked over your shoulder, making sure to give him a glare.”Because I know they will not argue back!”
Before he could speak any more, you thundered out of the house, taking Pride and Prejudice with you.
An enraged sigh escaped you, walking rapidly into the maze of hedges as you tried to stroll the anger away. When these silly arguments occurred, you began to wish that you had never told him of your work in progress. You could have just admitted that you liked to write, and feared that any other men would rob you off that hobby.
And on the last day of your honeymoon, too. Maybe you should have told him you were illiterate instead.
Settling yourself upon the white wooden bench, right beside the forest, you opened up your book, gritting your teeth still as you immersed yourself in the world of Elizabeth Bennet. Although progressing, your thoughts drifted to another man who did not reside in the pages, and you found yourself even more aggravated.
Damned the beautiful bastard. Of course you were going to tell him of your writings. Why could he not simply wait?
The thought had you rigid on the bench as you read on, the mere wind and trees your silent company as you read away your rage. The duke did not come searching for you — it was for the better, because if he tried you would have ran away from his stalking figure.
Night ascended from the horizons, and as the sun retreated so did you, back into the manor, book at your side. You nodded to the guards who opened the huge doors for you, letting you inside as you went straight for the stairs, void of the man who refused to let you pass.
Dim lights illuminating the way, you walked right up until your bedroom door greeted you, and when you saw Hyunjin, leaned back in the ornate chair as he looked out of the window, you paused at the entrance.
Although your steps were quiet, he turned his head to you. His features held a veil of unreadable emotions, cemented by the slight down curve of his mouth.
You scowled at him as you stepped inside. “I am not showing you the drafts.”
He closed his eyes, nodding. “As you wish.”
You removed your coat, a brow raising. “I won’t show them to you tomorrow either.”
“As you say.”
Another brow joined its partner. “Nor will I show you them the next week.”
“Of course.”
What was this sudden change? “Hyunjin, are you unwell?”
“I am perfectly adequate, darling.”
The endearment had you frowning further. “Fine,” you muttered, knowing he was hiding something from you. “I will be inside, taking a bath.”
You were about to enter the bathroom when his voice halted you.
“____?”
Looking over your shoulder, you answered, “Yes?”
The man let out a soft sigh, crossing his leg over the other. “I...I wanted to say that I apologise for my persistence.”
Now that was a statement you were not expecting. You opened your mouth, but closed it, thinking it was for the better, and instead leaned at the doorway.
“I…” he clasped his hands. “I realised that as I insisted and shouted, I was becoming the very man you wished to avoid. That is the last thing I want for us. If you are uncomfortable in showing me your writings, that is fine. A husband, most of all a best friend, should respect that decision.”
His eyes lifted to yours, pinning you with a fierce stare. “I will not persist with you anymore.”
You found yourself unable to break this stare as you, too, locked your hands together, biting your bottom lip at this turnout.
The duke had never apologised for anything.
In the many years you had known him, he would always stand by his decisions, even if they turned out to be disastrously against his favour. His stubbornness refused to let him submit to the other, and you had watched him have his boney backside beaten almost every week for it.
Hearing the plea for forgiveness had certainly changed that perception.
You took a few steps toward him, willing your hands at your sides as his gaze followed.
Was the denial really necessary? The poor man only wished to take a glimpse into your mind. Was that too much for him to ask for?
No. You had to stay upright. So what if he apologised? He should have! The man had caused a ringing in your ears from the arguing.
But now, even though the entire time your body repulsed at the thought before, you found yourself reaching for your satchel.
His eyes did not leave your hands as you brought out the papers, dumping your bag beside his feet. You held them out, knowing there is no way out of your actions.
“Here.”
Hyunjin looked at the papers as if they were hemlock. “Why are you showing me your drafts?”
You pursed your lips. “Because I want you to eat them.”
“I have no appetite for paper this evening, I’m afraid.”
The attitude had you warning, “Do you want to read it or not?”
He regarded you with an adorable puzzlement. “Darling,” he started, and the word had you raising it closer to him. “You do not have to show me. I cannot have you forcing to do something which you do not—”
“You’re not.”
He paused. Kept that beguiling stare upon you. You carried on, “Hyunjin, I need you to understand that it was never anything personal. It was me just...not really believing in myself.” Gently putting the small stack of papers in on his lap, you locked your hands behind your back. “But I gave you my word on our wedding night. And the day you proposed, and the day I realised you were a dear friend to me.
“You will be my first for everything. Especially in the goals and dreams I treasure the most.”
The duke’s eyes enlarged, darting to the drafts settled on his thighs and then to you, capturing your lip between your teeth in nervousness. He wished ardently that you would break that habit, for if you kept at it he might just grab your face and continue for you.
My first for everything. The declaration had his stomach turning in on itself. He knew he had been there for many of your firsts, but saying it out loud was something else. Saying it out loud meant you were aware of that fact as well.
So unimaginable, that you did not even realise the impact you had on him. So unbelievably innocent, eyes searching for his answer, desperate for consolation, when he had completely different matters in mind.
By God, if you did not turn around and leave him, he would let the control on him falter.
“I...I need to take a long bath, Hyunjin,” you said, finding his stare unusually penetrating. “By the time I am done you would have finished reading half of it.”
Turning, you stalked back to the bathroom, looking over your shoulder as you took a step inside. “No sweetening the feedback.”
You did not wait for his answer as you went inside, shutting the door.
Both of you, not realising that the other was doing so, let out a quivering sigh.
Something was amiss.
There was this...tension. You did not know the origin, but you knew it was there, underlying and creeping closer. Hyunjin was unusually quiet. Compliant even. A small part of you feared that maybe you should not have given him the most vulnerable possession in your care.
Deciding to fill the hot water in the bath yourself, you got on with your task, filling buckets of water in the copper bathtub till it nearly overflowed. Once done, you got rid of your clothes, and stepped inside. You instantly relaxed as the warmth of the water soaked your skin, calming your nerves, which were running high moments before.
As you progressed with using the soap, you distinctly heard the pages turning in the room next door. Scrubbing yourself, you hoped that the man was enjoying your words, or else you were never leaving this bathtub again.
At one point, you leaned your head back, closing your eyes as the water, now mixed with the scent of roses, lapped lazily against you. Your thoughts, once again, wandered to the man a wall away from you — what was he thinking? You wished you were there beside him, witnessing his reactions to the actions, dialogue, romance you had added in there.
Maybe that was the real problem. The couple you had added in this story had a strong relationship, but because you yourself had never experienced any sort of star-crossed love, you did not particularly know how to portray the raw romance. Still, you made sure they held hands in the ballroom at chapter 49. That was the pace in every other book you read, anyway.
After what seemed like a whole night later, you finally got out of the water, drying yourself with the towel hanging beside the tub. Grabbing your white nightgown, you donned the light dress, keeping it as loose as possible as you tried to dry your hair further, opening the door.
When you looked up, you saw the duke, head down, scanning through the papers with a face so focused it worried you. You made to say his name, but his hand shot up, silencing you. He did not even glance at your figure, bringing the hand back to swipe a finished page.
A little smile appeared on your lips. Is he...invested?
Does he enjoy your writing?
Another ten minutes of observing him, and he put the last paper down.
Slowly, he tilted his head upwards, turning to where you stood. His face expressed something cryptic — unable to decipher the emotion which swirled beneath his dark, glinting eyes.
He then let out a scoff.
“Darling, I need you to sit.” He gestured beside him, on the edge of the bed. “Right here.”
Perplexed, you obliged, settling yourself on the soft sheets, watching him heave off his chair, the last piece of your draft still in hand. He began a pace back and forth across the room, shaking his head as he turned at every end.
The pacing began to concern you. “Hyunjin, is something the matter?” you asked, hands grabbing tufts of your nightgown. “If you really wish to walk then you have all of Cambridgeshire waiting.”
“Tell me, dearest,” he said, still thundering across the room. “Remind me why you did not want to show me your drafts.”
That was an usual first comment. “Umm...because I was embarrassed about my writing?”
Your answer made him stop. Whirl to your direction.
“Ah, yes!”
His features twisted into anger.
“Such poppycock!”
You blinked back. “I-pardon?”
“No, you shall not be pardoned!” he exclaimed, pointing at you with the stash of papers. “Not when you have written something like this!”
“Hyunjin, what do you mean?”
The man nearly ripped his hair out.
“____, you have written a bloody masterpiece!”
Your entire body stilled.
“I...I did what?”
“Wrote a masterpiece!” He swiped through the pages, lighting up at each word that passed his gaze. “A bestseller! An award winning novel!”
A smile worked its way onto your lips. “You...you really think so?”
Sighing out in exasperation, he set the papers upon the desk as he began to lose his initial anger. “How could you be embarrassed about something so beautiful?” He put his hand on the gold chair, leaning onto its head. “Your descriptions were lovely, the characters are perfectly imperfect. You have outdone a lot of the writers in circulation.”
Your shoulders sagged a little — almost as if you had been carrying a heavy burden, and this man had taken it off of you.
You made sure he saw your joy when you said, “Thank you, blondie.”
Seeing the pure contentment upon your face had your friend looking away, eyes narrowing to the plans once again.
“There was, however, one thing which needed improvement.”
The setback had you straightening once again, eager to hear. At least he was not sweetening it fully. “Go on.”
“As I was reading through, right till the end, I noticed a lack of very important details.”
That was quite strange. “A lack of?” you asked, when you were so sure that you had added too much of everything.
“Yes.”
His fingers drummed against the velvet of the chair. His other hand tightened upon his hip.
“I noticed that there was a deep lack of...passion.”
An incredulous look was your reply. “Passion?”
“Yes, passion. Desire.” He jerked his head towards the papers. “I hardly saw any of those emotions in the book.”
This new information was certainly quite worrying for you. “But I do not understand,” you started. “My whole novel is based on this relationship, of the love that blossoms and grows—”
“I understand that, darling, I really do,” he said. “I know what you are going to say.”
The drumming continued. “But where is that residing in the chapters? Where is that physical lust implied in the characters?”
Lust.
You had heard of the word before. Heard of its implications, yet never grasped the weight of its meaning. Was it just another form of longing?
If only your mother had given you an education on this side of love.
“What do you mean...lust?”
Hyunjin raised a groomed brow. “What else could I mean, angel?”
The way he voiced that question, that endearment, had you parting your mouth, unable to say anything. You tried to speak, to say something to ease the tension which came slithering back into the bedroom.
“I...what were you expecting? From the relationship.”
Curling his locks behind his ear, his gaze became obscure. “You spoke of forbidden love, of...of a coupling which should not be occurring but happened through the fate of the universe. Is that right?”
When you nodded, he carried on. “See, I did not sense that from their exchanges. Their emotions are tame, chaste. An innocence which cannot be tainted.
“Now where is the fun in that?”
You dared not break his gaze. “What is that ’fun’?”
His eyes seemed to darken. “That ‘fun’ in the relationship is physicality. Where is that in your novel?”
He took a step towards you. “Where are the unbreaking stares? The curious hands, aching to caress another’s? Where are the trembling breaths, the lust-stained sighs that fan lovers’ lips?”
The duke had you craning your neck back as he looked down at you. “Where are the kisses, my darling?”
You gulped. “K-kisses?”
“Yes, kisses,” he repeated softly. “Lips enveloping lips, tasting your inner workings? Travelling to your neck, your collarbone...places which cannot even be whispered in polite society?”
Each part he mentioned had goosebumps pricking at that certain place.
The bastard still did not stop. “Where is that passion, ____? Where is that forbidden love, which only makes the heart burn wilder?”
And as he descended before you on his knees, delicate hands settling on your lap, you had a feeling swirl up your sides which had never struck you before.
“If I were the man in your book, I would not be tame with you.”
His eyes offered a new, intimidating darkness. “Because if you were my woman, then I do not think I’d control myself. The moment I’d catch the innocence dancing in your eyes, I’d have waltzed it away into my shadows.
“Only God could save you from my hunger, then.”
Silence descended upon the two of you.
One waiting for the other to speak, and the other unable to form the words to do so.
The moon had illuminated your husband, one side of his face glowing like a celestial being, the other side basked in darkness. How strange, when he had compared himself to it just a few moments before.
You seemed unable to look away from him. His gaze, always intense, now had become so penetrating you wondered whether he could glance at your soul, quivering from his feedback.
Improvements which you still did not quite comprehend, despite the implications.
Somehow, he could see it on your face. “I have a feeling you still do not grasp the idea. Is that correct?”
A half nod. “I…” God, speak! “I just...I have never understood it, Hyunjin.”
Your head dipped down, darting at the plains of your hands. “You asked me about lust, and I simply cannot answer because I do not know. I have never experienced such emotion.
“Hell, I have not witnessed a single action that you spoke of. How could you expect me to write of desires I have never even felt?”
This.
This was unchartered territory. This was a terrain you had not explored with him.
Yes, he was your best friend. But one does not talk of such...dangerous conservation when your best friend happens to be a male — a complete rake, at that.
It seemed as if the rake, too, was thinking the same.
His legs, a force which had never let him down, threatened to buckle under him. His mouth opened, only for silence to answer you.
Lord and all His subjects help him. He did not think he could contain it any longer.
And as his eyes exposed you, vulnerable before him, he only knew of one thing — one fact within this ocean of uncertainty you swam in.
He would jump into the waters for you. But not to haul you out to safety.
No, the duke would drag you down further, with him as your sole saviour.
Or even your destroyer. Your fated undoing.
For the Duke of Hastings will absolutely ruin you, body and soul.
“Hyunjin?”
A blink.
A singular action, dragging him back to dark, dark reality, even sweeter than his fantasies as it sat before him, shy and wide-eyed.
An innocent reality all for him to defile.
“Yes, angel?”
You tried not to shudder at his lilting whisper. “How am I to be helped?”
The man did not even think of the possibilities, to your surprise.
If only you knew, how long he had kept them hidden for.
“How about...how about I assist you?”
Confusion washed over your features. “And how would you assist me, Hyunjin? You have never written a novel.”
His answer was a chuckle, revealing slight glimpses of his teeth as he stood.
“That is true, yes.”
Sitting down beside you, he planted his hands behind him on the bed, leaning into the position.
“But what I can provide aid for is the one feature you lack in your writing.”
His voice right behind gave you a fright.
“Pure, raw lust.”
Looking over yourself, you watched him reclined in ease. Your speech was uneven as you said, “And...and how will you help me with that?”
“Simple, my darling.” A pause, looking you over. “I shall provide you with examples. Show you what truly happens between a man and woman when all they yearn for is each other.”
He saw the further questions in your gaze. The questions you dared not voice out loud, perhaps dared not understand.
Smirking, he sat himself up, eyes never leaving yours as his hands encircled your own, bunched up in your dress. As his fingers brushed against your linen he felt his skin go aflame.
“If, of course, you would let me.”
Tilting your head slightly upwards, you sensed a foreign warmth envelop your face, burning at the sight of your friend studying you like an empty canvas, begging to be filled.
Perhaps you were an empty sheet of paper, waiting to be painted with guidance by the master. Maybe that master was beside you all along.
“What will you do to me, Hyunjin?”
There it was. The question which may have been his drug — his purest form of opium.
Because when his hands travelled upwards, sliding to your face and imprisoning you with his stare, he knew he would become addicted.
“Not only show you what real passion looks like.”
A shame he did not care for his well-being when you were so fucking tempting.
“But show you what real passion tastes like.”
The shuddering breath that left you caressed Hyunjin’s lips, and he debated throwing the whole course of patience out of the window, and ravage you this second.
But he would never do that. Not unless you asked him to.
“May I?” He whispered, eyes heavy lidded. The need for an answer was beyond rationality.
You looked at him one last time before you let your heart answer for you.
“Show me, Hyunjin.
Those three words were all it took for the duke to close the distance.
Close the final space which had stayed so irritably prevalent, when he brushed his lips against yours.
The first thought that came to mind was how soft his mouth felt.
Plush lips, moving against yours with the utmost gentleness; as if testing the waters, familiarising their new surroundings. He did not know what to expect, which was a thought that shocked him. Had he not bedded half of London to know the ins and outs of how a man should pleasure a woman?
Still, his vast knowledge could not prepare him for you and your shy acceptance.
His fingers cradling your jaw, satisfied, he delved in a little deeper, the weathered leash beginning to loosen as he found his opium upon your mouth.
You attempted to follow his actions — letting him lead the kiss as if it were the many dances you had partaken with him, treating this as yet another waltz you both had to share. The issue was, dancing never brought you the unnerving thrill that these ministrations did.
Hyunjin’s kisses were quite indescribable.
When he tilted your head with the pressure of his fingers, gaining the fullest possible access to your lips, he thought his heart would burst from his chest. So compliant, you were, trailing after his actions. His pleasure heightened when he felt your heartbeat race beneath his fingertips, which resided just underneath your jaw.
He would have been a happy man if he continued the kiss forever, but he forced himself to break away, remembering that this was your first, that you were not acquainted with the dance of passion. His gaze pried over your features, and a famished smile nearly broke upon his face.
He found you shivering beneath his grasp.
Lips glistening, courtesy of his own, eyes wide and skin warm, there was no other reaction which the duke would have savoured more. A fearful excitement resided upon your beautiful face — almost as if you were scared of yourself, of the feelings he ignited within you.
The man was not far from his prediction. You were positively terrified.
Terrified of the fire-like emotion that threatened to turn your stomach in on itself. It was an extraordinary sensation — as if you were engulfed by some unknown, mysterious fire, and Hyunjin was the one sparking it to life.
You parted your mouth, trying to speak but to no fruition.
And him, whose eyes grew darker at the lack of words, curled his fingers to your jaw, smirking. “I can hear your heartbeat from here, darling.” A singular finger tapped against the spot, where your blood pumped quicker than usual.
Your heartbeat thrummed in your ears too, making you all the more aware of the situation — you may not know what these feelings were, but you needed to find out.
It was not entirely your fault. A writer must do their research, after all.
Painfully swallowing the lump in your throat, you made yourself speak, asking the questions which haunted you. “Is...is this all?” you got out.
Hyunjin slanted his head a little, narrowing his eyes. “What do you mean?”
“You know…” your hands instinctively reached for your lips. “What we just did. Is that all that happens?”
The hesitation had him chuckling, the shaky exhale caressing your mouth. “Do not pretend that you were unaware of kisses,” he mused, and you desperately tried to look away.
The slight grip on your jaw had you unable to do so. “And as for your question…” the smirk remained. “We have barely touched the surface.”
His other hand skirting downwards, it grazed along your collarbone, tumbling to the free space at your side. It settled itself among the bunched linen, holding you steady.
“I can show you more,” he whispered. “If only you wish it.”
Face burning further, you closed your eyes, letting your head dip in acceptance. You could not even think at this point — you were curious. Beyond intrigued, wondering whether these feelings would swell up more, take you into another reality farther from your imagination.
It was a slight inconvenience that Hyunjin shook his head.
“No, my darling,” he said softly, the fingers on your jaw sliding to your chin. “I want you to say it. Say you want more.”
You had not the slightest idea what this ‘more’ was, but you sure wished to discover — judging by the ravenous gleam in your husband’s stare, he wished for you to find out too.
“Fine then, Hyunjin…” one last pause ensued. “I...I want more.”
The said-man let a small groan escape before capturing your lips again.
He knew he was being selfish — almost pouncing on you like a man starved, grip on your side tightening as he quickened his pace, slowly prying your lips open.
When you felt his tongue skim along the seam of your mouth, you found yourself opening up to him, shocked at the sudden enthusiasm. Your hands, unoccupied, fumbled at your lap, unsure of their use until Hyunjin, his own hands leaving you, held onto them.
With precise direction he placed them on his shoulders, all the while slithering his tongue inside. You found yourself gripping onto him harder as he explored you, he himself nearly transcending at your yielding. A groan threatened to escape, but was drowned out by his mouth, closing over yours and kissing you insane.
His tongue worked wonders within you, swirling along with yours, desperation increasing with every time you complied with his actions. He opened your lips a little wider, sliding his tongue along your bottom lip, and you could not contain your moans any longer. The whimpered replies had him tugging on your lip, slowly sinking his teeth on the swollen flesh. Your fingers could not grasp harder, the lock around his neck tightening with a growing need.
Is that what it all was? Urgency? What was this need for?
You hoped with all your heart that Hyunjin would know.
He pulled away from your mouth, and with gasped breaths, he got out, “Angel, may I—” His thumb caressed the corners of your lips, trailing down to your neck. “May I kiss you here—?”
The second the ragged yes escaped, the man’s mouth began peppering little kisses along his finger’s trail, leaving your skin burning with every touch. Dipping his head into your neck, he tugged down the neckline of your gown, settling on your collarbone. The hem descended to your shoulders, threatening to fall at your waist.
His kisses did not falter, even when you gasped out his name, a soft cry which only grew when his teeth grazed at your skin. Pain bloomed at the touch, but the feeling did not last long, replacing it with his tongue lapping up the mark. The dull ache remained, yet forgotten as he created a pattern of these stinging sensations.
“____,” he whispered upon your skin, a hypnotic chant which only had you whining in response. His mouth skimmed right up to your ear in frantic. “I...I must show you even more.”
You stilled completely. “E-even more?”
Hyunjin’s eyes did not leave yours as his hands travelled down, holding onto your sides. Slowly, he tugged you forward, your body merely following as he laid you down into the bed. Your heart hammered as he towered over you, the loose shirt revealing a glimpse of his chest, and his locks, drooping down to your face.
Your hands held onto the sheets. The gesture had him melting, so endeared by your little scares. What would you know of what will follow?
His idle fingers began to roam. With every shuddering breath they journeyed further below, until they found the hem of your nightgown. He held onto the fabric, slowly sliding it upwards.
You hissed slightly at the cold that welcomed your bare legs, but it was overshadowed by his warm caresses, every touch causing butterflies to erupt in your stomach. Or something of the sort. That was what it felt like to you, anyway, with how out of place the reaction was.
You asked him as his fingers paused, right on the edges of your upper thighs. Confusion, mixed with an overwhelming sensation, washed over you with every phantom touch. “What are you—” you paused as his hand tugged your legs open, ever so slightly. “What are you to do with your fingers?”
His answering gaze had you praying for the Lord. “How about I show you instead?” The contact lingered. “I promise it will feel wonderful.”
There was no other answer you could offer him. A hasty nod could only suffice as, with that signal, the duke braced himself for what he had been dreaming to do.
Nothing prepared you for the feeling of his fingers past your thighs.
Your breathing hitched as they teased against your entrance, running slowly along your slit. He collected the arousal which pooled at the apex, mouth agape from your reaction.
How you were drenched for him.
The very sight, and the prolonging idea, had the man exhaling sharply. Even now, he could see in your gaze — you were unaware of your own responses, your body’s hurried joy as it begged for his fingers to delve in further.
Tonight, he would show you a glimpse of his fantasies.
His one finger slipped inside you, and you felt the world turn.
Slowly, so painfully slow it slid between your folds, completely halting your breath as you gaped at him. He held your stare with a dark intensity — no doubt there was hesitation on his part, scared his control would shatter, terrified he would submit to your desire and break you under his hold. Already the thought was so appealing.
Still, he kept his fantasies at bay, holding your face like a fragile artifact as he delved deeper. A soft moan escaped your lips, and he cocked his head, realising it was a whine you tried to contain.
“Angel, please,” he murmured, and when he paused on his journey you looked at him in desperation. “Don’t be shy with me.”
And then, grip on your side tightening, he began to pull his finger out.
This time, it was impossible to restrain.
A heightened gasp shuddered out of you, gripping onto his shirt. How could an action so simple be so electrifying? The idea could not make any sense, but it did not need to when it brought such pleasure. You pulled on the fabric harder, elevating Hyunjin’s joy at seeing you so bothered.
“Yes, just like this,” he cooed, repeating the movement. This time, though, he quickened the pace as he began peppering little kisses upon your face. Each brush of his lips was like fuel to the fire below, growing angrier with every leisured plunge. “Say it all for me.”
You did not need to be told twice.
Your whines grew as he quickened, foreign waves of mysterious origin overtaking your body. You feared his singular finger might be enough to do something drastic, but then his thumb started to wander. When he found your clit, he created a slow pattern of circling the bud, causing you to squirm beneath him.
Seeing him above you was all too much — you needed his lips upon yours, needed to be lost in his tongue or else you would lose your mind. “H-hyunjin,” you stammered out, and the dazed expression had him reeling. “Please...please kiss me.”
He nearly moaned at the request itself. There you were, asking for his touch. His delirium spoke for him, letting his delusion a little astray. “But darling,” he muttered, leaning his face closer to you. “How can I watch you like this if I simply kiss you?”
Releasing his finger till the mere pad remained, he smiled at your panting. “How will I be able to watch you when I do this—” and brought two digits inside you.
He felt your walls pulsate around him, and he revelled in your reactions, the groans that followed with his delving. So, so compliant. So wonderfully welcoming, when all he did was touch the surface.
Your speech was all muddled, broken words and half-prayers as his fingers worked within you. As if that was not enough, he curled them inside, and there, he brushed against a spot which had you seeing stars. You could hardly stay still under his grasp, squeezing your legs together.
“Fuck,” he slipped out, and the curse itself had you fisting your hands in his shirt, damning the turnout if it were to tear. “Sweetheart, it’s okay to let go, keep those legs open.”
Further fastening his labour, you found yourself developing the most intense feeling in your gut — like a dark, swirling ball, aching to be released. You tried to raise your head to kiss him, but he only did the same, you barely missing him.
“Hyunjin!” You gasped out, and the said-man knew that no orchestra could compete with the music you tuned for him. Grabbing clumsily onto his collar, you tried with meak strength to bring him down. “Something...it’s wrong, something is amiss—”
You cut a glance down, where your cunt was more than occupied with his digits. “Wh-what am I feeling?!” In a frenzy you stared at him again, tears pricking your eyes. “Why do I feel—”
The duke only shushed you, a gaze akin to affection being offered to you as he trailed a slender finger upon your cheek. “Oh, sweet angel,” he whispered, voice a little breathless.
“That is me keeping my promise.”
And when he finally swooped your lips in a heart-wrenching kiss, fingers never stopping below, you let the overwhelming feeling take over. The aching was freed, and you broke away with a cry as you released onto him, spilling onto the sheets.
Hyunjin commenced a trail of sweet kisses upon your face, slowing his work inside you. Lethargy washed over you, and you barely sensed him slip his fingers out until the hollowness of your cunt welcomed you in his stead.
Through heavy-lidded eyes, you watched him as he brought the two digits to his parted mouth, sucking softly on the skin. A low noise hummed out of him, and you found yourself growing warmer all over again.
He caught you looking at him, and he slipped his fingers out with a pop!
“Truly divine, you are.”
Skin burning, you quickly shimmied your nightgown down, earning a chuckle from your husband. “That was…” you began, and you did not know why the thought made you so flustered.
“Do not worry your pretty mind, sweetheart,” he reassured you, flicking your nose. “Your release was answer enough.”
That only had you all the more embarrassed. “Hyunjin?”
His eyes rooted to yours. “Yes?”
“Was this…” you paused, trying to find the right words. “Was whatever we did...everything? Was this the end?”
Despite the two of you only finishing now, the duke had his gut turning in on itself all over again. This time, he let patience take over. He had been rewarded more than enough.
He still answered with a hushed tone, offering you another vision. Another promise, which he intended on fulfilling even further.
“Of course not, angel. This was merely the beginning.”
THE NEXT MORNING SAW THE TWO OF YOU IN LONDON.
It was a much more gradual journey than the previous one, with all the time in the world to go back to the duke’s main estate, where he was called to work after weeks of leisure. You, first indignant, were now devastated to leave Hemingford, a place which became a special haven in such a short time.
But of course, one could not neglect their husband. Not when that husband would never let you leave his side.
Hyunjin was all eye-smiles in the carriage, hands refusing to let go of you despite your complaints. You did not particularly mind, but when he resorted to kissing you with the curtains drawn, your levels of embarrassment nearly broke the scale, amusing him to no end.
There was no stopping him, though. After taking the first heated step with you, the vault of restraint in his senses had cracked. All this time he had proceeded with caution, but your heightened whimpers of the night before had undone the cellar of his desires.
Once again, you had experienced another first with him. A first which he wanted to conquer for a long, long time.
Unfortunately, business called, or else he would have stayed a few weeks more. Damn the men begging his presence, when he could have explored every layer of your innocence in that manor, revelled in ruining you of your ignorance.
He thought he had time to show the world of pleasure.
Alas, the fantasy he created in his Manor had to fade.
Reality crashed upon the two of you unfairly quick — there was not a moment’s rest as you arrived at Lansdowne, the official estate of the Hwang family nestled in Mayfair. It was more an enchanting palace than a home, every room, furniture and painting like pieces out of a fairytale. You could never forget the first time you entered, knowing that despite your previous comforts, you were to be spoiled in this abode.
The unfavourable situation which turned out from this was that your husband was not present to spoil you in his royal den.
As the days began there, with banality taking over, the two of you barely had any occasion to spend some time together. Business sunk its claws into the duke, refusing to show mercy. All the days and most nights, he managed tenants on his lands, heard their complaints and attempted to provide solutions.
The problems arose while he was away tending to you in your getaway, his subordinates incapable of handling the work he did so effortlessly. It frustrated Hyunjin to no end, when he had to learn these strategies since his adolescence, yet his employees, far older than him, could not manage to use his funds efficiently.
Although this meant time was sparse together, you did not mind so terribly. Having solitude meant having opportunities to write, and so you threw yourself into your drafts. You revised the more intimate scenes between your couple, and dared write down your first experiences onto the page.
Even documenting the occurrence had your stomach fluttering — when he kissed you delirious, going as far as slipping his fingers inside you. It felt like a delusion in your mind, scared that you merely created such events through your imagination, but you could not not make up such passion.
Hwang Hyunjin had shown you a very tangible fantasy.
It was these memories that kept you company as you penned down your world, a couple thousand words being scrawled on paper everyday. You wished to talk to him about taking matters further with your novel, but whenever the two of you had the occasional dinners you could not bring yourself to address the subject. He was already so occupied, and dumping your own tasks on him would devastate you
So you secluded yourself into your room, and only wrote.
Few weeks into Lansdowne, and you began to miss him.
You did not know how this feeling entered, but the moment it crawled into you it was all you could endure. It was not uncommon for you to miss your dear friend, even before marriage, but now that you lived with him, the situation changed. During the afternoons, when you burned your mind from the constant writing, you longed for his presence; conversation never ran dry when he was around, and the maids who offered refreshment were hardly an alternative.
Your longing, unfortunately, did not stop there.
Ever since that fateful night, you failed in shaking off the ever present tingling. His midnight eyes, akin to the devil, haunted you in isolation, and the sheer image of his full lips quickened your heartbeat. In fact, when you wrote a similar recount into your writing, the incident came into your mind so clearly you had to abandon the task altogether. The familiar wetness pooled at your core, and you cursed the heavens for being weak.
His fingers had an everlasting impression on you.
That was a whole other problem — you and Hyunjin, because of his tightening schedule, hardly had any opportunity to explore further of what happened. Teasing words and stolen kisses were your only alternative, and you dared not ask of him to do more. Your cowardice may have been one of the main reasons, but he was another factor of your silence. The man came home every night, so exhausted that even requesting to have him satisfy you brought you shame. He was much too tired, and you could not be selfish.
So you did not bother him. Let him leave every morning, and imagine what would be if he did not have so many responsibilities.
However, another couple of weeks later, and the need became unbearable.
Your every thought and feeling was replaced with this...this urgency. It was horrifying to you, never having been forced to such extremes, but it preyed on your mind like a beast. Meaningless tasks turned into burdens, sleep was lost, and your very heart threatened to burst from the intuitions. You wished to stop, but once you remembered that phantom touch, it was over. There was simply no alternative.
During those times, you could barely look at Hyunjin, offering you tired smiles as he disappeared into your chambers. You figured he did not notice, or else you knew he would make a comment on your worsening state. Truthfully, you were overjoyed that he was too exhausted to see you like this. If there was any chance he was aware, that alone would kill you off.
But this desire, too, was slowly withering you away.
Even as the sun began to descend, birds singing softly beyond your intricate window, soon to be drawn to a close. The library was bathed in gold from the light, painting your face as you attempted to write the last of the chapter, but to little success.
You figured your creativity had had enough of being stuck in your bedroom, so you opted for a change of scenery, but the parasite was at hand, churning just below your stomach. Even with the thousands of books settled all around you, radiating their knowledge, the ache remained, dull yet present. You scowled, pushing the pencil harder in your hand.
The poor lead broke suddenly, making you flinch. “Argh!” you let out, throwing the object upon the desk. Useless — you were so utterly useless, reduced to a mold of nerves, growing with each image that passed in your head.
Cursing, you put your hands in your lap, looking to the gardens beyond the window.
There is nothing you can do, ____.
The need arising, you slid your palms back, enough so they rested over your core.
A dangerous thought entered your mind.
That’s not true. There is one solution.
Your eyes widened.
Of course, there was always that alternative. Glancing down, you involuntarily pressed your palm to your clothed cunt. Already a wave of pleasure washed over you, and you suppressed any sound with a hand to your mouth.
You cannot. By God, you cannot do such a thing.
Especially in a bloody library.
Turning around, you glanced at the bookshelves guarding your figure, stretching to the painted ceiling. As an aspiring writer yourself, you cursed yourself for suggesting to do such an action in your temple, with the place your church and the books your Bible.
However, when the ache begins to creep over, your morality seemed to fade at first flight.
What a shame your brain was not to be listened to.
Shooting up from your chair, you nearly fell to the plush carpet, leaning against the desk. Gradually, you took a step forward, and another, searching for any secluded area among the lines upon lines of populated shelves.
“Where is it, where is it,” you mumbled to yourself, passing the Greek Literature aisle, moving further into the darker section. When you spotted the end of the library, you turned to a dim lit section of Romantic poets. “Aha!” You exclaimed, finding the place you were searching for.
This particular section has been a favourite little hiding place for Hyunjin. Recalling the memories, you always caught him here whenever the two of you played hide-and-seek, or when to comfort him here after a particularly harsh spat with his father, the late Duke of Hastings. Above all else, he found himself isolating here whenever he wished to read by your insistence, finding solace in the words of Blake and Wordsworth, picked up on the shelves.
You, on the other hand, did not come here to read.
Backing up against the wall, you let yourself fall to the lush carpet. There was barely enough space to stretch your hands apart, feeling the wall on one side, and the bookshelves with the other. It was small trouble, though, as space was not the priority — simply distance.
Thankfully, you had time — dinner would be served in about an hour, and the servants had been told not to disturb you as you ‘write’.
It was now or never.
“Lord forgive me.”
Grabbing onto your skirts, you raised them upwards, along with your petticoats. After undressing your pantalettes, your white stockings came into view, ending right above your knees, tied with baby pink ribbons.
With your underwear gone, you felt the cold caressing your dripping cunt. Immediately your fingers rushed to swipe at the arousal that pooled onto the carpet, a hiss escaping your lips. Then, moving higher, you felt the swell of your clit, and began to rub circles, so, so slowly — just like Hyunjin did, exactly like his fingers did.
The ripples of pleasure crashed over you with every swipe of your fingers. It was the most wonderful feeling, experiencing it after a span of weeks. Yes, somewhere in the back of your rational mind, you knew you looked pathetic, whining softly from your own efforts, but your desperation took over; you had been patient long enough.
Your desire, however, had no such moments to waste with such gradual rubbing, so pent up inside you that it forced you to quicken your pace. You prayed that no one heard you, for the sobs that flew out your mouth increased, playing and teasing your clit till it nearly numbed you.
The real bliss poured out when you plunged two of your fingers into you, going deeper and creating that identical pace, relished before. You closed your eyes, and images came flashing back — the midnight eyes returned, along the malicious grin, and suddenly it was not your fingers that pulled and pushed into your cunt. Your mind dared to conjure up Hyunjin, his dark laughter ringing in your ears as he curled his fingers into you, reaching a spot which had you seeing the seven heavens.
So far along, you did not care if the others heard. With your concoction before you, fingering you delirious, you called out his name. A panted “Hyunjin!” squealed out of you, the word laced with madness. How you begged for release, when it was actually in your control.
And maybe you would have come all over your fingers at that moment. Maybe that was a fantasy that would have been rewarded to you if reality had not been so unkind.
For it was reality that arranged a presence turning to his favourite hiding spot. For it was cruel, cruel reality, bringing at your secret aisle the very man who caused your current frenzy.
Hwang Hyunjin.
Sweet Duke of Hastings, who thought to surprise his wife and return home early, so he could join her at dinner this evening. Curious Duke of Hastings, who found the servants informing of your ‘work’ in the library, and so walking to you himself, expecting the distant sound of sighs and scribbles on paper.
Shocked Duke of Hastings, when he heard his name instead, being moaned at the end of his library.
His pupils dilated, gloved fingers hanging on the edge of the shelf, he grew flushed in his attire as he watched your near undoing. You whimpered his name over and over, as if that was your only comfort among the heavy sensation in your gut, the pleasure which numbed your senses. He trailed down to your sopping fingers, clumsy in their rhythm.
A shuddered breath escaped him.
It was then he let out the most self-satisfactory scoff.
That moment, you opened your eyes. Widened when they settled on your husband, face exposing an aghast expression as he crossed his arms, gaze never leaving the mess between your legs.
He had the audacity to grin wickedly.
“Oh my, sweet angel. What do we have here?”
Your entire body stilled, fingers frozen inside of you. Every ounce of strength, which tried to make you speak, abandoned ship.
Noticing clearly, a splutter of hellish laughter spilled from his lips. “All this time,” he began, feline amusement dripping in his voice. “All these lonely, lonely weeks, I was so guilty.” His boots made a soft thump against the carpets, grey longcoat fluttering after him. “I kept thinking, see, of you, so alone and unentertained. Stuck in her chambers all day and night, burning out her brain with her words. Writing of my examples.”
He unbuttoned his overcoat, pinning you with his gaze. “Little did I know you were impersonating me.”
You almost cried with shame.
“God, I doubt I can call you angel, again,” he drawled, tossing his woolen jacket behind him on a nearby chair, pulling off his gloves.
He uncovered his slender hands, continuing, “Not with your fingers still in your cunt.”
That nearly had you in tears — you yanked your digits out, making to push your skirts down in a hurry but were dutifully stopped by his raised voice.
“Pray, darling,” he inquired, and you could taste the ridicule as he stood before you, crouching down. “What do you think you are doing?”
He did not give you time to answer as he grabbed your hand, half-soiled by your endeavours. “Why have you stopped the show when the intended audience has arrived?”
All these questions messed with your senses, squeezing your thighs together as the high, threatening to undo you before, began to fade. “Hyunjin—” you said, but you were interrupted, as, with his hand, he lifted your trembling figure with ease. Legs unstable, you let him steer you until your back hit the bookshelves.
“Another notion puzzles me too.” His golden locks skirted along as he cocked his head.
“Why did you scream my name when you touched yourself?”
Your mouth parted, remembering your incessant whining. The thought caused your entire body to burn up, your husband taking instant note. “Come on, now, darling,” he taunted, grip on your hand tightening. “We both know you are more than capable of speaking.”
It was surprising how you managed to speak, despite the phantom touches.
“I…” you paused, embarrassed that you tried to tell him the truth. “I do not know...damn it!” you hissed as you saw a phantom smile accompanying his hands. “I had this...this need, Hyunjin. Everytime I recalled that night, I…all I wanted was some sort of...release.”
“Oh?” he got out, and he had to cage you with his hands for his own stability.
The thought of you, withering in pleasure — pleasure you did not realise you yearned for — had his mind transcending any sense. There he was, stirring the cauldron of desire bubbling in your veins, your face twisting in pain from your lack of knowledge.
He had to pray for forgiveness for his mentality, but at this moment in time, he only knew of one religion. You, and your wishes, whispered in panted breaths.
“If that was what you felt, then why did you not tell me?”
If it was not for his hand gripping yours, you would have covered your face. “How could I?” you whined out. “You were so busy! I could never be selfish enough to put myself before you.”
His heart nearly burst from his chest. “My darling,” he hummed, stroking away the flyaways upon your face. “Do you not realise that I put you before myself?”
Your confusion had him continuing. “If you had told me that you had such...needs, then I would have damned the work to hell.”
Suddenly, you wished you were the most selfish person in the world.
“Every wish, your every want…” his eyes promised the world. “It is mine to bring it to you.
“So tell me, angel.” His fingers lingered on your face. “What do you want?”
Alas, that fated question.
What you wanted was to tell him without doubt that you wished for his fingers inside you again. What you wanted was your husband fulfilling his promises, showing you more, more, more until you forgot your name from the sheer force.
You hated how your speech could never voice it out loud with confidence.
The man noticed your face warming beneath his touch as you stammered, “I-I want—” pausing from his fingers on your cheek, “Hyunjin, I want you to…”
Your pathetic attempts had him chuckling. “So innocent to me still?” He asked softly. “Even when I caught you moaning my name like a whore in the night?”
Whore. Sane you would have slapped him for saying such a thing, but the arousal that pooled at the term meant completely different. He was aware of your reaction, causing him to be compliant.
One day, he would voice it out of you. One day, you would say from your own mouth that you wished for ruination.
“How about this, ____?” he started. He brushed a small kiss upon your forehead, heart fluttering at the chaste action. “When you want me to stop, voice that out instead.” The next kiss was upon the tip of your nose.
You thought up a worrying confession, but when you saw his expression change, you realised you blurted it out.
“I don’t think I would want you to stop, Hyunjin.”
The molten lust in his eyes nearly undid you then and there. He offered you a low, satisfied growl, wondering how in God he could ever resist you.
“I don’t think I would be able to, angel.”
He did not say any more, swooping down and enveloping your lips with his.
You instantly accepted him, wrapping your arms around his neck as you pulled him closer, closing your eyes and letting him paint an artwork of desire upon your mouth. You could tell he was trying to be gentle, but your confession cracked the glasshouse of desire he had tended for so long.
His tongue was inside your mouth at once, and you relished its desperation, letting it explore all of you as his hands wandered down, your own sliding into his locks. Softer than all the silks in the land, you already felt the moans bubble within your throat, partially escaping with every parting. His heavy breathing in your ears only wished for all distance to fade.
There was so much of him, all at once — you had shared kisses with him after that fated night, but you knew those kisses were the sole form of affection he could offer in those lonely weeks. The way he bit your bottom lip, soft and then a little harder, had you losing all sense.
It was such things that made you realise how much you missed his presence.
Tearing away from your lips, he gave fevered attention to your neck, trailing his kisses down your skin, open and wet and restless. “Hyunjin—” you began, but then you gritted your teeth at the pain of his suction upon your throat. His hands pushed you further into the shelves, and a few books began to fall at the force.
“H-Hyunjin!” you exclaimed, eyes darting frantically to the classic editions that scattered on the floor. “W-wait, not here!”
The man blinked in his haze of desire, looking at you. “Huh?” he got out, spit-slick lips parted, his whole body raising from his breaths. “Why not?”
“The-the books, they...!” you tried to explain, but with the stare he offered, you quietened within moments. “...Hyunjin?”
His answer was his hand taking your wrist and turning from the secluded corner. He steered you out of the hiding place, pace hurried with each step he took. Head whirling to every aisle, he cursed under his breath, finding the spaces between the shelves filled only with books.
“What are you...searching for?!” you demanded in bated breaths, but then he let out a satisfied noise as he found an open aisle, the first line of shelves in the library.
In front of those shelves sat a large, wooden step ladder — no doubt there to grab onto the higher sectioned novels. A knowing smirk enveloped his features as he led you to where it stood, backing you against it.
A small yelp escaped you as the man hoisted you upon the steps, you holding onto his shoulders as he slithered his arms around your waist. “There,” he said, tilting his head slightly upwards. “Now you shan’t worry about your novels falling.”
“Easy for you to say!” you crowed, already feeling unstable, despite sitting on the sixth step. “This time it might be me falling!”
“Well then,” he began, tugging your legs apart till he fit snug between them, “You just have to hold on tight, don’t you?”
Oh, you were going to kill him.
Leaning forward, he halted your breath, brushing his lips across your neck. “I can stop if you wish,” he whispered on your skin. His hand rested over your chest, where it rose unevenly under his palm. When you did not answer he looked up, climbing so he levelled with your face.
You felt his heavy breathing fan your lips. “Do you want me to stop, angel?”
His eyes saw right through you — with the way a malicious smile began playing at his lips, he knew his answer long before you registered it yourself.
Head shaking hurriedly, you murmured out your response as you grabbed onto the lapels of his longcoat.
“Never.”
You pulled him down, desire taking control of your senses as he undid you with his lips. His hands, sliding down, hitching your skirts higher than before, bunching it at your waist. Never giving himself a break on your mouth, he peeled off his coat, tossing it beside the ladder. Only when you broke away to take a panted breath did he begin his descent — kisses on your neck dragged down further, along your clothed abdomen until he parted, shuffling the fabric from between your thighs.
An uneasy fuck flew from his mouth — your glistening cunt welcomed him again, the recollections of the last honeymoon night crashing back.
In truth, the events had not left his mind. The memories of his fingers playing with you, inciting those sinful sounds were the few things which brought him a high in the dark days of work. You, drenched by his efforts, dripping for him, and only him, to take care of you.
Seeing the sight before had Hyunjin restraining his cock. Fuck, he thought, leaning closer till his face was a mere inch from the center. He did not comprehend the consequences of this; what if he went crazy? A part of him was distinctly aware that if you were heavenly around his fingers, then you with his tongue would transcend reality.
Hands holding the back of your knees, he slung your legs over his shoulders, securing his fingers upon your thighs. With one last inhale, he closed the distance.
Nothing compared to his tongue running along your slit.
A hiss left you at the contact, tendrils of pleasure curling up your spine as he explored the edges of your cunt. He was teasing, being too leisured for your liking — he could not help himself, fearing he would rush the process and end it too quickly.
He wanted to be inside you the entire night.
Your incessant whining had him lapping up the wetness, gripping onto your legs a little harder as he delved in further, tasting your arousal and letting out a satisfied noise. Leaning your head back against the higher steps, your hands carded through his hair, his locks a comfort for the slow torment below.
When his tongue dove upwards, circling your clit, an obscenely loud moan tumbled out of you. He was so exceptional, so good at what he did to you, licking away at the bud as if he had not been served for days. Your whining was more encouragement for his antics, increasing his strokes with a slight curve to his lips.
What reduced you to choked gasps was an old prospect from the first night — his digits, leaving one of their spots on your leg and slipping one inside your folds. As if his tongue was not enough, that singular finger created a rhythmic pattern of plunging in and out of you.
You thrashed under his grip, hips rolling giddily along with his work. Even the ladder began to shudder, jutting slightly back and forth from your desperation. Although the squeeze on your thigh was an indication to calm down, you ignored it, too intoxicated by the thrusts of his tongue to realise his signal.
He made you realise as he paused his ministrations entirely. You nearly shrieked at the lack of his presence, but then you looked down, and found his lust-hazed eyes staring at you.
“H-Hyunjin?” You mumbled, voice raspy from your previous moaning.
The slick glazed on his lips brought you another level of high. “I need you to stay still, darling,” he voiced, slender hand gripping onto your thigh. “You even have the poor ladder shaking.”
You willingly nodded your head, knowing you were lying through your teeth. If he continued with his tongue prodding at your clit, then you would start trembling from the thrill.
“I don’t think I believe you,” he mused, blowing on your drenched cunt. Seeing you shiver had him chuckling. ”I need you to be still if you want true pleasure, sweetheart.”
An ironically chaste kiss upon the edges of your thigh gave you more reason to grip him harder. “I want you to enjoy this as much as I am.”
As much as I am.
Good, sweet Lord.
Maybe you will never move an inch again.
“K-keep going,” you whispered, near frantic as you played with his locks. “Please.”
The please at the end was exactly what he needed before he pounced into you again.
His tongue was relentless — a second finger joined in the venture, and the fullness of him was back again, with an intensity that only promised satisfaction. You knew it was coming, with the heaviness in your lower abdomen.
You needed that release. Whatever it took, it was the only image in your mind, taunting you of the relief that came with it. With the hard grip of his locks, your husband sensed it straight away, quickening his pace with both his tongue and digits.
Damn Hwang Hyunjin to Hell, for he was so unfairly good to you — licking your clit to a frenzy, touching a certain spot inside you, over and over again. He never missed, never faltered his labour as the burden inside you intensified. You sang his praise in your stained mind, hoping he could see the joy on your face.
“Hyunjin—!” You whined out, stealing a glance at his head, moving back and forth slightly between your legs. “It’s—the feeling, the one before—!”
You did not have to say anything else; his free hand, wrapping fully around your slung over leg, made you realise of his awareness. The feeling was at its peak then — one more of his stripe along your cunt, and it was over.
Fortunately for you, the Duke of Hastings kept his promises.
One little nibble of your bud, plunging in his two fingers at the same time, and it was useless. Your release came rushing through, cries escaping your lips as you undid yourself onto his mouth. All sense of surroundings abandoned you: you were drifting away, like a kite losing its roots, further and further as his fingers slowed. You feared that you would lose all sense until his tongue lapped up the release. His hums of satisfaction anchored you back into the library, hands at your hips as he heaved upwards, watching over your dazed expression.
You saw his every move, licking the remnants of your release off on his face. He then hovered closer, locks more sweat slick as they caressed your skin.
“God, angel,” he rasped out, holding your chin with his stained fingers. “You…I can’t...I can’t get enough of you.”
He stole a kiss upon your mouth, but your shy whines caused him to go deeper, sliding his tongue along your bottom lip. “Shit,” he whispered as he parted from your lips. “You must stop me, ____. I cannot take you all at once, I…no matter how much I wish, I cannot...fuck, I cannot taint you.”
And maybe it was your husband, admiring you like a poet would his muse. Maybe it was something more than the dull ache inside you, the flutter moving to your heart which had you saying the next words.
“But I...” you paused, every panted breath heavy. “I never…never asked you to stop.”
Hyunjin stilled completely before you.
His eyes were too much, but you did not stop the confession pouring out. “If...if there is something more, I…” his thumb on your chin hardened.
“I want to know. I want to see it all...even if it may taint me.”
There it was.
The thoughts which haunted you for the past few weeks. You wanted more, even if that meant that this more would one day be satiated. You wanted to see the end, the final stage, because you knew deep down, your best friend was still holding back from you.
You saw it in his eyes. You saw his unadulterated desires, dark and fearful, yet you wanted to be surrounded by his darkness.
You wanted Hwang Hyunjin to break you like he wished.
Sure enough, he saw it all over your face too. His jaw turned slack, and he debated slamming his head against the shelves to make sure he was not dreaming.
He did not think his wife would let him have a moment’s peace.
“God help you, sweet angel,” he murmured, glancing at your dress — more specifically, how to get you out of it. “I don’t think I can leave you innocent any longer.”
You parted your mouth to speak — Hyunjin was about to interrupt you, perhaps take you to the final stage of your passions.
Everything was about to descend when you heard the shrill knock on the door.
Your heart jumped out of your dress, the man above you catching onto your shock. With an unexpected burst of anger, he turned his head towards the large doors and screamed, “Who the fuck is it?!”
The servant at the opposite side flinched at the tone of voice. “Um, there is a guest in the living room, Your Grace!”
That did not help his case. “Then tell them to piss off!” The Duke demanded, holding onto you a little harder.
“But Your Grace, he urgently requests your presence!” The boy insisted. “We tried telling him of your...distractions, but he would not listen!”
Hyunjin looked like he was about to tear the manor down with his orders, and you widened your eyes, holding onto him. “It’s alright,” you reassured him, and possibly reassuring yourself too.
He glanced at you, and the frenzied stare he pinned you with shut you right up. “Fuck,” he cursed, running an angered hand through his hair, the other not leaving your side — as if you would fade from his grasp.
You feared it too, in truth, that he would disappear. The thought plagued your senses, much more than you would have liked.
“To hell with that bloody guest,” he growled, leaning into you again. He pressed his forehead against yours, cupping your face with his hands. “To hell with everyone.”
“Hyunjin,” you breathed out, relishing the contact. “Hyunjin, it’s okay…” you held his agitated stare, wondering why you were convincing him to go when you wanted him to stay. “I will be here, you know...when you come back.”
He searched your gaze for confirmation, needing to affirm your words. When he found the suppressed desire within, he could not help himself.
He planted his mouth upon yours, finding solace along the lines of your lips — he loved how your every kiss was a comfort, a sweet little sin all for him to enjoy. In honesty, he could spend an eternity basked in your warmth, but alas, reality was a villain in his tale.
Forcing himself to pull away, he ran a tender thumb along your cheek. “I shan’t take long, angel.”
You nodded tiredly, in time to the man holding your waist as he settled you back onto the carpet. Lingering for a few moments, he made himself leave your side, grabbing his coat and donning the heavy fabric. He satiated his desires with a glance towards you, dazed off with your hands clinging the ladder railing still.
A small smile catching onto his lips, he turned on his heel, promising murder to whoever disturbed the moment he dreamed of. Opening the door, he looked back, catching your stare.
The smile upon his face grew wider. A smile so sincere, so loving, with all the world’s miracles nestled upon his pretty mouth. It was a smile that you had never seen before, with all your years beside him — seeing it now had you wishing you could bottle the image and carry it with you forever.
It was a smile which had you so in love with him.
Love.
It was then your heart dropped.
Hyunjin, unaware, closed the door behind him, leaving you to your revelation.
Instantly, you clutched at your chest, heartbeat racing.
In love.
You were in...in love with Hwang Hyunjin.
“No,” you slipped out, mind rushing a mile a minute. “No, no, no, no—”
You gripped the railing harder as the hand on your heart trailed down, shivering from the phantom touches of your husband.
Hell, of the husband that you had fallen for.
One would think love was an entity writers would idolise — your own inspirations searched and indulged in all kinds of love, but you always accepted that an emotion so intense was not for women like you. Love was a rarity. Love was unconditional, strong and vivid and all-consuming.
Love, undoubtedly, was a weakness.
Your breathing turned ragged, hands reaching to clasp your head in panic.
I will be here...when you come back.
Your promise to him, before he left you to your hysteria.
Why would you ever say such a thing to him?
“Oh, no,” you kept chanting, turning over to your side, away from the door and towards the window, where night was small comfort to your nerves.
You could not let yourself succumb to a man. No matter how dear he was to you.
And if that meant staying away from your husband, then so be it.
IT WAS UTTER AGONY AVOIDING YOUR BEST FRIEND IN EVERY PASSING MOMENT.
Perhaps you should have given reasonable explanation to why you decided to distance yourself, but of course, reasonable explanation was never your forte.
Hyunjin, damn him, tried to make more effort in returning home earlier, despite his business demanding his presence with every passing day. You were almost powerless under his tender gaze, but you knew that you could not be swayed.
As if you had not fallen under his spell already.
Your only distraction was your novel, so you did just that — even with your husband in the manor, you closed yourself from everyone, writing furiously on your desk as if committing to anything else would cost your life. The flushed skin did not shy away as you wrote of your second experience, changing the events slightly so they fit your story. The memories tried to torture your mind, but you refused to submit. You could not fall for Hyunjin.
You could not fall for a man.
The duke did not realise of your avoidances, simply thinking that you evading his more heated kisses, his dangerous touches, was a result of your fatigue. He understood, knowing you worked your brain as hard as he. He was upset, obviously, when he craved your touch every waking second. For you, though, he would do anything. If that meant waiting, he would do that too.
However, your recoiling could only last so long. Your best friend knew you like the back of his hand.
He figured something was amiss when he decided to grace you with his presence one evening, expecting another show of your moans behind the door, only to have the distant scribbling of ink against paper. Entering inside, he awaited your surprise, your unadulterated joy, bracing himself to have his arms engulfed with your hug.
In reality, he received a mumble of blessing, and the continuing scribbling.
He was not trying to coax you into giving him affection. He was well aware of how hard you worked on your novel, but that day, he dearly wished you would abandon your project for just a night. Just one, single night, so he could show you how much he missed you every single moment.
Poor, unfortunate man. How was he to know that your affection was the one thing you could not give him?
Another few days into the silence, and Hyunjin had had enough.
He called to you one dinner, ushering the servants away with the flick of his hand. The dining room became all the more huge, like a lush vault, perfect for a sweet interrogation as the velvet curtains drew to a close, and the eyes of a hundred paintings focused on you. You swirled the soup with your spoon, refusing to look at him.
“Darling?”
Damn him and his endearments. “Hmm?”
The man, too, seemed to be unsure of how to talk of the subject. “Is…” he put his cutlery on the table. “Is everything...alright as of late?”
Your gaze remained rooted to your food. “Of course,” you said. “Why would I not be?”
There was a heavy silence in the room, new and uncertain between the two of you. Your friendship with the duke had never been filled with such quiet — why were you creating such awkwardness around him?
You already knew the answer.
“Do counter me if I speak incorrectly,” he began, grabbing the stem of the wine glass. “But I have noticed you to be quite...secluded.”
“I am busy, Hyunjin,” you said curtly. “I have a whole novel to edit.”
His lips twitched downwards before opening his mouth, bringing the glass to his lips and taking a small sip. “I know you do, and you know I am proud of you for it.”
Choosing to not say anything, you tried finishing off your dinner, aware that you were losing your appetite. It seemed your husband did not want to back down tonight. “____, I feel as if you are hiding something from me.”
The spoon in your hand nearly clattered in the bowl. “And why would you think that?”
“Because—!” Hyunjin paused, downing some more wine. “I do not know, but I feel as if you do not want to speak to me.”
He was too smart for his own good. “You are imagining things,” you waved him off, finding your salad fork oh so interesting in the candlelight.
“Look at me.”
His voice stopped you cold.
Your gaze scrambled to meet his, and although his command was rough, his eyes exposed a completely different emotion.
Pure concern washed over his features as he muttered, “Have I done something wrong?”
That question broke your heart.
“No, no, of course not,” you quickly said. You bit your lip in guilt, watching him sigh, almost in relief.
This was the consequences of your actions. A man who had done nothing unjust, yet was being punished. Pure shame coursed through your veins, catching the distress on his face, and you wondered whether you were being cruel. Maybe this time, your feelings were exaggerated.
If you were aware of such truths, then why could you not look your best friend in the eye?
That night, you hurried to bed, leaning on the edge in wait for him. Your thoughts were in disarray; your heart impatiently desired his return, and your brain berated you for daring to.
Truthfully, it was horrifying how you had become so dependent on someone, when your entire life you relied on the fantasies in your head. Although your revelation was every lady’s dream in society, you felt as if another burden had been dumped upon your shoulders. This time, though, this burden would last for the rest of your life.
These thoughts were your singular company, when you lay awake all night. You were acutely aware of Hyunjin slipping between the sheets, but you did not move a muscle. A small part of you knew that if you turned, you would be unable to resist his whimsical gaze and wandering touches.
So you lay rigid, only letting yourself sleep till your best friend submitted himself to oblivion.
He, too, could not bear to live like this.
The Duke of Hastings was not a fool. He had not known you for over a decade to discard you lying through your teeth. It was beyond his understanding the reasoning of your change, but it deeply disturbed his soul.
He turned in the bed, watching your back bathed in moonlight. Why would you not tell him what bothered you? What had he done wrong?
As he watched you stay rooted in one position, his thinking turned to dark corners. A realisation struck him; you started acting this way the day after he nearly took you in the library.
This alarmed him greatly — was that why you were so troubled? Were you...uncomfortable with his touch?
His heart dropped down to his gut.
If you truly detested his affection, then he would not know what to do with himself. Recently, it was all that haunted him — you, you, and a little more you, strolling through his mind as if it were your domain, creating stories underneath his eyes. It only worsened when he discovered your sweet moans, triggered by his kisses and touches. God, the very thought of you, whining his name as you touched yourself, brought him a familiar feeling amplified. So ardently he wished to taint you further.
Even thinking of the images had him clutching his pillow tighter, fingers aching to turn you over.
However, the harsh fact was that you could not bear to look at him, and he had to live with that. Questioning you was of no use.
Hyunjin only prayed that he did not scare you off.
Unfortunately for him, his prayers were not to be answered.
Days passed, and the distance grew. The man dared not say a word to you in fear you would stray further, and you dared not approach him in fear you would fall harder. It was the most abhorrent situation, and you knew you had to get away somehow.
Fate spoiled your plans when Hyunjin revealed some news.
You looked at the invitation in slight horror. “A ball?”
Scratching the back of his neck, he explained further. “When we were...interrupted that day…” he sighed a little. “It was Seungmin who was downstairs.”
“Kim Seungmin? Has he returned from the States?”
“Yes,” he confirmed. “And he has decided that the first thing he wishes to do is throw a huge ball in celebration of his return.” A roll of eyes followed. “Forever the dramatist.”
You restrained your laughter. “It has been over 2 years since we met,” you wondered out loud.
“Well, you can meet him at his estate when we attend the ball.”
He felt your eyes on him as he declared his words. Awaiting your outright rejection, settling down on the chair in the living room. You watched his thighs tense under the peach trousers as he folded a leg over the other — damn him for being too attractive to refuse.
“Very well,” you only said, not ignoring the nerves which threatened to take over. They increased a little at seeing the smile on your husband’s face.
You needed to stop leading the man on. Never could you go to the ball with him.
“It is a week from now,” he added, bobbing his foot excitedly. “I shall write back in acceptance as soon as possible!”
Nodding, you returned to your reading, hoping the faux conversations were enough distraction.
A week. Seven days to somehow escape from this event, or else everyone would see you enter the ball as an official couple, and then your fate as another man’s property would be sealed.
Had he ever made you feel as such?
You did not let yourself ponder over this further. Your only objective was getting out of this invitation.
However, you were a duchess. Trying to hide yourself from London society was an unattainable feat.
The reminder had you nearly ripping the page off your book, too stressed to read on.
This became your focus of the next week, pondering over the night of the ball, scouring your mind with the possibilities which may occur at Seungmin’s estate. As the days neared, Hyunjin insisted you go shopping in search of a special ball gown, and you only obliged so you did not have to be in the same house as him. Still, if he was not there physically, his image preyed upon you in the markets, constantly reminded of his opinions and likings in every fabric you ran your hands upon.
There was no escaping him. You were disgustingly obsessed.
Purchasing everything you needed, you requested it to be charged on Hastings’ tab, a privilege awarded to you ever since your joining with the duke. You always argued that you wished to spend your own money, but he would not listen.
“But I adore spoiling you, angel,” he would merely say, and buy up half the boutique, leaving you a flustered mess. The conversations did not leave you as you bought your dresses and accessories, returning home and dreading interaction.
Excusing yourself, you shut yourself in your room once more, and wrote.
Wrote away your soul in the last days, till it was the morning of the fated event. The sun shone magnificently on your home, but failed to radiate its light on your darkened mood. You had no choice on the matter — you were to accompany Hyunjin to Seungmin’s celebrations, and that was final.
You were about to fake typhoid when a letter arrived for you.
It was from your mother; she wrote in question of your wellbeing, and how much she felt your absence in the house. The content was not very interesting, and you debated writing back with a lack of enthusiasm when you read the last section.
She mentioned tonight’s ball — more significantly, how she felt ever so lonely without you with her, “enlivening her spirits”. The praises were nothing further from the truth, but it was her confession which had an idea rushing to your head.
“Lonely without me, huh?” you murmured, as you rang a bell for a maid. Arriving, you requested for a little trunk, asking for your new dress and other adornments to be packed. “For once, Mama, you have been useful.”
The packing did not take much time, the other servants calling for a carriage as you made preparations to leave for a night. Hyunjin, making his presence known, descended down the stairs, a grin upon his face as his hand fished in his inner pockets.
When he saw your endeavours, though, his beaming flickered. “What is going on here?” he asked, refusing to look away from your luggage.
You turned to him, mustering up the bravado to face him with your decision.
“I received a letter from Mama this morning,” you explained to him in faux ease, gesturing for the servants to bring your belongings outside. “She is feeling rather lonesome, so I thought to see her.”
The man was not convinced in the slightest. “Since when did you garner sympathy for your mother?”
Never confide in your best friend again. “Please,” you stressed, holding the letters in your hands. “She still took care of me the best she could. Plus, I would never want to be lonely at that age.”
He was not listening to this explanation though, his hands going into his pockets. “When will you be back, darling?”
The endearment made this all the worse. “The morning after.”
A heavy pause instilled on the both of you before he broke it. “But...but the ball. A-are you to just...abandon the invitation altogether?”
“No!” you began, locking your hands behind your back. “No, I shall meet you at Seungmin’s estate. It is a small setback, but—”
“____, this will be our first social event as husband and wife!” he countered, you grimacing at his minor outburst. “I want you by my side when we walk down the steps!”
“But I will be there, Hyunjin!” you exclaimed. “I do not understand why you suddenly want to follow these silly traditions!”
Gritting his teeth, your friend pinned you with his stare, growing fiery the longer you held it. Traditions never interested him, but this one had been a certainty he had been looking forward to. The image of you, descending the stairs with your hand on his arm, brought him an absurd amount of joy.
But there you were, bursting his bubble of dreams.
“Why is this all coming to light today?” he muttered, taking a step towards you. “Why, on the day of the event, you decide to tell me that you would rather go with your mother, who never truly cared for you, than me?”
Than me, who always did?
You dared not answer his question truthfully — instead, you let your undeserved anger take the reins of your tongue.
“So you are already suspicious!” you snapped. “Why am I not surprised in the slightest?”
His eyes narrowed at the statement. You did not look into it further as you turned on your heel, heading towards the door. “Do not run away from me, ____!” He shouted, following after you. “Tell me what you implied from that horrendous comment!”
“Oh, let me uncover it clearly for you, dearest,” you snarled, standing at the doorway. The words which were to leave your mouth had sure consequences, but in the moment, you did not care. All you wanted then was an escape.
“You accuse me of scheming and demand me things which I do not want to give you.”
Your hand gripped the letter behind you. “You’re becoming the one thing I feared, Hyunjin. You’re turning into a typical male.”
The man froze entirely at your claims.
Did not utter a defense against him as you sighed out, glancing away from his shell-shocked eyes. You did not bid your farewells as you descended down the stairs, reigning in your temptation to look back as you made your way to your transport through the gardens.
As you slipped inside the carriage, clasping your hands in your lap, you wondered whether you had taken a step too far.
You wondered, with rising dread, whether you had broken your best friend’s heart.
MAYBE RUNNING TO YOUR MOTHER HAD NOT BEEN THE BEST OF IDEAS.
Biggest reason being that she was truly a pain in the rear. The moment your carriage had arrived on the rocky entryway of your mother’s manor, she rushed down the steps. After engulfing you with an embrace which might have caused a minor stroke, she hurried you inside, her servants bringing your possessions.
You did not particularly miss your previous abode, although it gave you small relief. You passed the familiar hallways, and settled in the nostalgic parlour room where your mother gushed over your presence.
Still, this manor did not seem like home to you.
Conversation was mostly struck from your opposite, you nearly silent as the woman vented out her frustrations of every family in London, drinking her tea and urging you to take a biscuit or two. Your stomach was void of an appetite, missing other emotions which you abandoned on the other side of the city.
By the time evening arrived, all you wished to do was hide yourself into your old room, but your mother would not accept. Having the maids open your trunk, they brought out the ball gown you had picked for the occasion.
It was a dark, seductive red, swell of its puffs cuffed with black lace — this lace scattered over the fabric, lining not only the neckline but down the chest, rose-like stitches etched onto the bust. The high-waistline also bled further black stitching, almost all over the gown as it fell to the floor, with a midnight ribbon trailing at the back.
You bit back a fevered sigh. Hyunjin would have adored this gown.
The thought had you pursing your lips, requesting the gown be pressed. Then, walking over to the dressing table, you settled yourself onto the seat, using the accessories bought previously to style yourself. With the assistance of a few maids, you managed to accentuate your hair, adding small pearls within the locks.
The ballgown came back in an instant, and you undressed yourself, waving away the girls in your room. Firstly, you slipped on a thin chemise — then, you allowed a maid to enter to help with the corset, who tightened it at the back without mercy to your body. Barely able to breathe, you loosened it slightly after the girl left, focusing your attention on the gown. After adorning the petticoats and white stockings, you adorned your attire, slowly as to not crease its fabric. Hooking the back yourself, you turned to the mirror, holding the black gloves.
There was no doubt about this countenance — it was exactly to your husband’s taste. Clamping your lips together, you donned the gloves, the silk smooth beneath your touch as you filled them to the fingertips. With one final peek at yourself, you slipped into your shoes, and left the bedroom.
You were a fool to think of any other person but your mother welcoming you at the entrance, but wishful thinking had always been your flaw. Her string of compliments had you adorning a ghost of a smile, but you did not say much as you both climbed into the carriage, instructing to journey to Seungmin’s estate.
Without a novel to distract you, you fell into a habit of clasping and unclasping your hands as you sat, waiting for the ride to be over. Your mother was small comfort as she filled the silence for you, but even her voice strained your mood — you wished for other discourse, or other meaningless entertainment.
You ached for laughter.
Whatever. This was your consequence. You must bear with it.
If your mother knew of your troubles, she certainly did not voice them out loud. She did ask of your relationship with Hyunjin, but you waved her off with false reassurances — you could not have her prying into your private life.
“I hope he has burned off your silly writing fancy!” she drawled, catching the lights of the destination flickering closer to our transport. “As a wife you have much more important duties.”
Gazing afar through the window, you spoke your truth. “Actually, Mama, he encourages it.” A small chuckle escaped you. “I think he wants me to be an author more than I do.”
“Oh?” The woman brought a hand to her chin, impressed. “That is a rare occurrence indeed.”
Catching your raised brow, she scoffed. “Do not gawk as if you are not aware of men. I am shocked he has given you freedom.”
You listened to her, watching the estate linger closer. “Child, you have found a man who does not restrict you in your passions. I do not know how you accomplished such a feat, but you must be extremely thankful.” A glance was stolen towards her. “Such husbands only exist in those books you love so much.”
Before you could comment on her statement, the carriage slowed to a stop, reaching the final stop. The footmen opened the doors, and your mother stepped out first before you followed, careful not to ruin your dress on the pathway.
The crowds had you leading inside the estate, luxury which could compete with the Duke of Hastings being exulted in every corner of the interior. Dozens of lords, ladies and other aristocrats wandered in all places of the house, your own mother being swept away by her friends in her social circle. Your presence felt less relevant with each passing second, fearing you would lose yourself in the rush of golden curtains, rose perfume and unwelcome conversation.
You thought that this ball would grant solitude, but then you heard the bright drawl of a familiar lord.
“By God, is that my dear bookworm I see before me?”
Jumping from the voice, you whirled on your heel. A surprised smile caught on your face.
“Seungmin?”
The said-man returned your shock with a mischievous grin. Lord Kim Seungmin changed greatly since the last time you saw him — what was once thinned, pale cheekbones were now full and golden, amplifying his eye-smile, which he did not lose in the Americas. He was adorned in navy blue, contrasting with his off-coloured pants, black hair styled effortlessly away from his forehead.
“My goodness!” he began, strolling over to you with his mahogany cane. “Even after two years you upkeep your radiance.”
“You flatter me,” you said as your smile widened. “You certainly have changed. I adore the tan!”
“I fear you are the sole admirer,” he confided, narrowing his gaze at his incoming guests. “As if I wish to look like a ghost among men!”
“You have earned my approval, at least,” you complimented in earnest. “Not that it would matter much.”
Seungmin scoffed at your comment. “Says one of the most affluent women in the country! When were you going to tell me you were Hyunjin’s bride?”
Your irritation sparked as your heartbeat raced. “It was very recent, I admit. I would have sent word, but it would not have reached you.”
“I daresay I am not surprised.”
You peered at him, then. “No?”
He gave you an incredulous look. “My dear, everyone anticipated the occasion. Only you were clueless to the possibility.”
Gritting your teeth, you jabbed him with your hand, causing him to chuckle. “Ow! I was hoping you would mature by this time! No doubt your duke encourages this!”
Preferring to stay silent on the matter, Seungmin continued on the subject, making it difficult. “Where is he, by the way? Gossip tells me it is your first ball as a couple.”
“Is he not here?” A shake of his head had your nerves creeping back. “Oh, um, my mother was alone, so I thought to accompany her instead.”
You nearly grimaced at his callous features. “How bizarre,” he murmured. He then offered you his arm. “If so, then allow me to accompany you in his absence.”
Accepting his arm, he helped you navigate your ways through the huge foyer, the grand stairs welcoming you two as dozens upon dozens of aristocrats came into view — the host nodded his head in greeting at every passerby, leading you down each step, until your feet landed on the floor of the ballroom.
Examining the area, you marvelled at the pastels colouring each wall, corner and crevice of the vast space in the room. Sweet music filled the air, and murmurs of many ladies and gentlemen resonated everywhere around you, growing louder as their eyes rested on you, your sensual attire, and the lack of husband on your arm.
“How about a dance, Duchess?” Seungmin asked you as he brought you closer to the center.
Instantly you shook your head, stopping in your tracks. “No,” you refused, tugging on his arm. “I have no wish for dancing this evening.”
“As if you ever have,” he mused, earning your glare. “I presume you await for your beau? Everyone knows you dance first with him.”
A sharp breath exhaled from your nose. “Nevermind that, just take me where the cakes are.”
Laughter spilled from his lips, stirring you to the refreshments. “As you wish, ____.”
Making your way through the guests, you finally ended up where the food resided, tables lined from one corner of the room to the other, flanked in every type of nourishment. Your gaze found stands of cakes, and you left your hand on your friend’s arm, raised towards the deserts. As soon as a servant handed you a plate, the chocolate cake was in your hold.
“Honestly,” the host started, as you cut a piece with a fork, digging straight in. “And they call you the pinnacle of grace!”
“Who in heaven said that?” you asked, baffled as you ate another small piece. Seungmin, snapping his fingers, brought a tray of champagne over to you. Picking up two flutes, you began, “For me?”
Downing the first, he offered you a grin. “What made you think that?” he replied, already sipping the second. “My party, my alcohol.”
This time you giggled at his demeanour, he handing you a drink as you finished your cake. The bubbly goodness was welcomed, warming you up and calming your senses.
After the third glass, the champagne-induced man let out a huge sigh. “Right!” he exclaimed, propping the glasses on the table beside you. “I must find myself a pretty lady to dance with.”
“Do try to stay on your feet, Seungmin,” you said, raising your flute in toast.
“No promises!” he merely countered, disappearing into the crowd.
Your smile faded at the isolation which hit.
There you were — hundreds of people surrounding you, many potential partners to dance with, yet there you were, hand not in another hand but wrapped around your alcohol.
You could not blame a single soul. This was all your doing.
That had you consuming the champagne to the last drop.
At least there was some form of relief in this ball, as you watched Seungmin and about a dozen couples form a circle at the center of the room. With the first opening of the music the host led his partner, all the others following suit.
Watching the waltz had you remembering the last dance, the fateful night where this union came into fruition. Your friend’s smile, his hand on another’s waist, all these images reflected the very same you experienced many weeks before.
You bit the inside of your cheek, reminiscing deeper and deeper. You hated how every fibre of your body ached for his presence. The worst part was that it was not mere lust, or the carnal desire which erupted at his thought.
You longed for him — his banter, his mischievous eyes, and his rather heart-wrenching smile.
The music heightened, the climax of the dance falling on the ball room as Seungmin whirled and whirled his partner, a string of giggles faintly heard from the crowd. When he twirled her one last time, he caught her instantly, at perfect harmony with the ending of the sweet melody.
Applause scattered across the hall as the couples bowed to each other.
A curse escaped you then.
There was simply no doubt of your feelings — avoiding him could never be the solution.
This revelation may have arrived at the perfect time.
Because, as the music played once more, a figure emerged at the entrance.
The murmurs, one by one like a slow wave, died down as they caught sight of him, gazes shocked.
Sipping your champagne, quite puzzled, you turned to the origins for this change of atmosphere.
Every atom in your body stilled.
Froze completely at the sight which stood at the foot of the steps.
You were unable to suppress his name.
“Hyunjin.”
It was as if, by a miracle, he heard your shivered whisper — his eyes skimmed the crowd, frantic beneath the calm.
They found you in the chaos.
Your very breath disappeared from your lungs.
Hwang Hyunjin looked like the devil’s greatest fantasy; as if he stole the night and imprisoned it in his attire. He was adorned in lustrous black, waistcoat patterned with red swirls of velvet. His collar was slightly ruffled, cravat of midnight as it barely brushed against his chin. His tailcoat somewhat glistened in the chandelier light, dark leather boots still as he stood before the hall.
His greatest change was his hair. Once golden like the lights of heaven, it was now as black as the underworld. Half of the locks were swept up in a ponytail, the rest curling at his shoulders.
The flute nearly dropped from your hands.
Seungmin, finding his friend on the steps, burst into a smile. “Hastings!” he broke through the silence with enthusiasm. With his voice the crowd fell into frenzied discourse, the host making his way through his guests, strolling towards the new arrival. “By God, it has been too long!”
Hyunjin hummed, not particularly interested in what he had to say. His gaze from you did not stray for a heartbeat. Seungmin, catching on, wrapped a hand around his friend’s shoulder. “I see you only came for one person,” he said, leading him to where you stood.
Champagne was not the only substance which heated you further, cheeks growing warmer the closer he walked over to you. Every move he emitted exuded sensuality, as if his bones were made of silk.
You let yourself to a third serving when he stopped before you, Seungmin clapping his hands together in excitement. “Look at the two of you!” he proclaimed. “Your clothes match so perfectly!”
Sure enough, both of you adorned the same hues of dark reds and raven blacks. You felt his eyes rake over you, and you restrained to not do the same, lest you let more than your stare wander. “I always knew you two were right for each other,” your friend continued, grabbing his fourth flute, drinking away in glee. “I am overjoyed to see that you both see it.”
Something cold swirled in your husband’s stare, and you ran a finger along the empty glass, embarrassed to hear such genuinity. “Hyunjin, the second waltz is about to start.” He gestured his flute towards you. “I know you always dance with each other first.”
The duke’s eyes flickered to the host for a mere second before pinning on you again. “I have no desire for dancing tonight.”
You had trouble downing your drink. “How strange...” Seungmin noted, darting between the couple. “Your wife here said the same thing not an hour ago.”
“Did she now?”
The silence that followed was quite unbearable. Even your friend was unimpressed, offering Hyunjin a drink from the waiters nearby. “Oh, you both are such bores! Maybe marriage is not the solution after all.”
You dared not look at him then, fiddling with your black ribbon. “I need to get drunk!” the host declared, tutting his head at the tension created. “I will come again when you two stop being so bloody shy.”
Shy would not be the most accurate term, but Seungmin was too intoxicated to care. He strolled to compliment a gathering of ladies within your radius, which left you with the one man you feared to be alone with.
Hwang Hyunjin.
Hwang Hyunjin, in his changed, midnight glory, watching you with an indecipherable intensity. Creating the wildest butterflies ever felt inside your body.
You did not know where to start.
The man did not understand where to begin either, tongue at loss for words. There were too many words to spill, too many feelings left constricted.
He wished to say something, but his senses had failed him. So, much like you, he stayed silent, wondering if the two of you would ever break this barrier.
Even then, he could not help but linger closer, leaning against the lush walls of the room, right beside you. His presence was a blessing and a curse at the same time.
Tailcoat brushing against your skirts, he examined the ballroom along with you, itching to reach for your hand. He would never really, but in that moment, you were beyond tempting.
You see, he had no idea what you would wear tonight, and after the spat at Lansdowne, he yearned for change — hence the raven hair and darkened clothing, so unlike his usual pastel attire. He did not even think that you would attend the ball in fear of his presence, but seeing you before him, engulfed in his favourite colours…
He would have damned society and taken you in this very hall.
Daringly, he let himself wonder whether you felt the same — he heard your shocked murmur when he arrived, and the further shocked stare which made him ever so smug. If only you would let him do something about it.
If only you would let him ease this tension before it spiralled out of control.
His thoughts were rudely interrupted as Seungmin came stumbling back, alcohol, swishing back and forth in his new glass as he giggled at his guests. “Dear friends!” he broke out, hands raised, some of the drink accidentally slipping out. “Oh, forgive me, gentlemen!”
You heard Hyunjin sigh beside you as he held his own hands out to steady his friend. “Steady now, man!” he warned. The drunkard only chortled, foot stepping onto your dress.
“You should not have drank so much!” you scolded, raising your skirts. Glimpses of your stockings came into display, and Seungmin shrieked.
“Careful duchesh!” he slurred excitedly, leaning right into you and wiggling the glass as if it were a finger. Unfortunately, he had little control over how hard he shook his alcohol, and it all spilled over.
Right onto your white stockings.
Yelping, you saw the middle part stain in pinkish-red, murking the material with every drop landing. “Seungmin!” you yelled in agitation.
“Oh bollocksh!” he cursed, causing a few gasps around the hearing radius. “I apologishe, dear, so very very much—”
Hyunjin, witnessing the scene, stopped a nearby servant. “Please tend to your master, here,” he ordered, pointing towards Seungmin begging for your forgiveness. Nodding, the boy took the host away, the latter hiccuping as he asked for more wine. “And do not give him any more to drink!” the duke added.
Focusing on you, he rushed over, assessing the mess made. “Damn fool has spilled quite a bit.” Whirling his head to any exits, he spotted a dark hallway, remembering the route of the estate. “Come with me.”
You glanced at him, frantic. “Where to?”
He did not answer fully as he wrapped a hand around your waist, almost making you forget that you had wine spilled over you. “Seungmin has many spare rooms,” he explained, leading you out of the ballroom. Thankfully, the crowd was too occupied in preparing for the second waltz to care for the distressed couple.
Keeping your skirts raised, you managed to keep your gown safe from spillage as Hyunjin led you down the less crowded hallways, depictions of the Kim family painted on the walls. “Ah!” He got out, reaching to a familiar room as he opened it, ushering you inside. “This is where I usually reside whenever I stay at the estate.”
The room was basked in dark, velvety colours, perfect for the man next to you. Lush carpet underneath, the huge bed, nestled at the wall at your right had its curtains drawn, revealing glistening indigo sheets, matching the framing of the bedroom. Dressing tables, wardrobes and the like were furnished at each corner, your focus drifting back to the dweller.
There was barely any light, save for the oil lamp sparked to life by his match. Setting it to the side of the bed, it brought much more life to the room, previously engulfed in mystery.
Without the upheaval, the space was basked in silence. You realised the hand on your back was sorely missed, and Hyunjin, standing a few feet away, clenched and unclenched that very hand, yearning for his fingers upon you once more.
But the two of you kept playing that little game of keeping quiet. Sooner or later, one of you will have enough of this sickening ploy.
Groaning, you walked over to the edge of the bed, kicking your heels off as you saw your stockings, fully stained. “Damn it,” you muttered, promising Seungmin murder.
Another few minutes of your grumbling, and he had had enough.
“Maybe I can be of assistance.”
Perking up, you found Hyunjin, walking slowly to you, hands fumbling in his coat pockets. After a few seconds of rummaging, he brought out a package, tied with red string.
You raised a brow. “What is this?”
“Open it,” he merely said, taking a step closer as he held it before you.
Hesitantly accepting, you tugged on the end of the bow, unraveling the tie. You did not forget the stare which rested on you the entire time you opened the wrappings.
When the paper unfurled, you examined the contents.
Before you were a folded pair of black stockings.
A soft exhale escaped as you beheld the present, the midnight silk soft to the touch, already aware of its rich feel. You delved in further, and uncovered white ribbons at the top, for tightening their grip.
“How…” you trailed off, dumbfounded at the coincidence. “How did you…?”
“No, no, this was…” he locked his hands behind his back. “Something I was supposed to give you this morning.”
“Oh.” This morning. When you two had that particularly nasty fight. “I see.”
You glanced down at the present again. Hyunjin had proven, once again, how refined his taste was. “I have never seen such exceptional detail on stockings before.” Discarding the paper at your feet, you ran your thumb across the material. “I doubt this suits me at all.”
There was a pause at that.
You knew there was something he wanted to say. The way his jaw ticked, the boot lightly tapping on the floor — he was bursting to add a comment which may be a risk, considering the circumstance of your relations.
Allowing yourself to be the first to dare, you peered up at him. The curiosity, explicit in your eyes, had him clearing his throat.
His hesitancy faded. “Show me, then.”
Catching the ferocity in his stare, you swallowed, hand at your skirts. “If…if you wish.”
And that was all he needed to begin.
You watched as the man descended on his knees, lingering upon you until he looked down, revealing your white-clad legs the further you raised your gown. You stopped before the ends, holding onto your skirts and petticoats as if your life depended on it.
Hyunjin’s gaze did not waver as his hand raised forward, finding themselves upon the bow at the top of the stockings as the other gently held your ankle. Untying the ribbon, he hooked his fingers under the tight fabric, your skin brushing against his knuckles. Slowly, he pulled down the stocking, uncovering your skin before him under the dim lamp light. When it bunched up, his hand at your ankle stretched the ends of fabric, sliding the stocking right off.
Discarding it behind him, he repeated the unveiling on the other leg. He noticed your skin heating underneath his touch, and he dared not expose his growing delight.
Once the other half slid off, joining its partner, a hand raised in front of you. You stared at him in dazed confusion, and his fingers curled, save for the pointer directed at your present.
“The stockings, darling.”
The endearment had you falling short — his caresses on your shin brought you back to consciousness, your hand beyond your control as it handed the gift to him. Taking it, he put one of them beside him, bunching the other with his hands till he directed the entrance to your foot on his lap.
Slipping them on, he worked his way upon your heel; his hands were slow, fingers softer than the silk beginning to cover your leg. Every fleeting touch had small shockwaves coursing up your body, as if it was the first time he laid his hands on you. How were you so unaccustomed to his caresses still?
Maybe because he knew how to agonise you.
When reaching above your knee, he brought the ends of the stocking to your thigh. His fingers fell to the ribbon dangling from the underside and, with the utmost care, began to tie the two pieces together, forming a pretty red bow.
As he closed the pattern, he tightened the bow, securing the fabric — snuffing out any possibility for the fabric to fall.
He then continued on the other leg, gaze flickering from your legs to your face. He caught every laboured breath you released, every flutter of your eyes slipping you in and out of a daze. His fingers were slower still, as if he never wanted this to stop. The stockings were like a second skin, adding a lustre to your legs the more he covered you with it.
Sliding over your knee for the last time, he held onto the blood-coloured ribbons. Fingers skimming against silk-stained skin, he tied another perfect bow, tightening it at the ends.
All done.
His gaze lingered on the bows, the sliver of skin past your thighs. His hands too, refused to leave your legs.
It was then his eyes flicked upward — right into yours.
You caught every swirl of desire residing inside.
Every little detail etched on his face was stained with lustful anguish, suppressed hunger of things you dared not imagine. You held onto your skirts with more force, afraid you would lose strength in your hands.
Hyunjin’s hands, however, had no such troubles.
For they began to carry out his wishes — they slid upwards, past the stockings and upon your upper thighs, spreading them enough to slip himself between your legs. This alone had you near crumbling for him, but his eyes asked for more. Even with the dim light, you had never seen a man so beautiful in agony.
You wondered whether he was going to say anything. Silence was a giver of many answers, but the questions you held could only be answered by his lulling whispers. Despite protest, you willed your hands beside you, clutching the sheets, waiting for him to tear your soul in pieces.
Finally, the Duke of Hastings parted his mouth.
“One word, angel.”
He squeezed your thighs softly.
“One word, and I will never torment you with my presence again.”
A bated breath escaped you.
It was much too late for that. Hyunjin had already tormented you, had done so ever since your fateful realisation, and you knew he would do so for the rest of your life. It would hardly matter whether he was oceans apart or a hair’s breadth close — him, and everything he represented, was complete and utter affliction.
Such a shame that he was a torment you would sacrifice everything to be around every day. Such a horrible, horrible shame that Hwang Hyunjin was a presence you loved more than you could let on.
Hence was the reason you did not answer him with words. What you wished to say was much too vulnerable.
No, you answered him in actions — replied with your hands raising to clasp his face, leaning down to envelope your lips with his.
You were surprised to hear a pained moan leave his mouth, and you realised that was the sound of pure, heart-breaking relief. Instantly his hands travelled further as he kissed you back with twice the fervour, hands sliding to grip your waist. Pulling you to him, he erased any distance between you, delving deeper into your mouth. He shuddered at how he went so long without your tongue swirling along with his, like parting from a lost companion.
Fingers sliding to his neck, you welcomed his enthusiasm, his desperation which heightened with every searing touch, every soft bite of his teeth against your lips. He broke away, peppering open-mouthed kisses along your jaw, eliciting the sweetest whining from you.
“...missed you,” he murmured on your skin, sending chills down your body as he kissed the edges of your dress's neckline. “I...missed you so much.”
“Hyunjin—” you began, wanting to say that you yearned for him, but the words on your tongue faded when his fingers bunched up the skirts of your gown, hitching it higher until the midnight stockings were back in view — he did not stop there, pushing the fabric further till it bunched at your waist, along with the petticoats. His hurried hands pulled down your underthings, sliding them right off your legs, discarding them behind them.
Seeing your cunt glistening in the lamplight nearly broke him.
“I—God,” he breathed out, hands spreading your legs apart. An aching whine escaped you at the action, the cool night air caressing your inner thighs. “Angel, tell me...we do not have to do this.” He glanced up at you, and the madness residing in his eyes infected your soul.
Maybe madness was the only reason you damned the consequences.
“Don’t you dare stop.”
Hyunjin licked his lips before blessing you with his closure.
The first stripe across your slit set you on fire.
A soft groan through your mouth at the familiar sensation, the overbearing feeling of being ascended far away from this obscure bedroom. He had always worked wonders, but this time, the languor had faded, desire hardening his tongue against your folds. He pulled on your legs, sending his face further into your cunt, and you yelped at the ferocity of his actions.
There was no denying it — the man had grown frantic without you.
Swiping in the arousal coating along your slit, a satisfied hum escaped him as he travelled upwards, your seething more encouragement. He struck gold as he found your clit, circling his tongue along the bud, rendering you helpless as you moaned without shame. You cared little if the guests heard you beyond the door, your husband making it too hard to contain yourself.
Perhaps you would have survived his treatment if he did not leave one of his hands upon your leg, trailing up your thigh. He slipped in not one, but two fingers straight inside, and your voice raised an octave — the gradual rhythm of his digits had that overflowing feeling creeping over you all over again. Your grip on his half-ponytail tightened, pleading for him to give you mercy, but the man was relentless, never opting for a break in his devouring.
“Damn it, please—” you grated out, instinctively rolling your hips against his face. The edge of the bed seemed more like the edge of the world. “Wh-whatever you do—”
You did not finish as Hyunjin squeezed your thigh, and you knew then in your dazed mind — a certainty that he understood.
Within moments his pace quickened, fuelling the spark of nerves which swirled in your gut, threatening to overtake you. Teething your clit softly, then swirling his tongue along, you knew that if he carried on, he would break you on this bed. Something within you felt as if that was his was his very purpose.
Why the thought thrilled you, you would never know.
His rapid fingers and sensual tongue working harmoniously finally got through to you, as, with a whimpering cry, you came all over him, closing your eyes as spots of white stained your mind. You felt his ministrations slow, a small kiss gifted upon your sensitive clit before his lips pulled away. Other hand brushing across your leg, he soothed you from the high you experienced, whispers of his lilting voice perking you from your stupor.
“Hyunjin?” you quietly called, gazing at his lust-struck face. He did not look away as he brought the finger to his lips, sucking away at your residue.
You did not think you could ever get used to this image.
“Yes, angel?” he rasped out, straightening on his knees so his head nearly levelled with yours.
Catching the implications within your eyes, his own widened slightly.
“More?” he let himself wonder, and when you nodded much too desperately, he realised he had done it.
All he needed was for you to voice it.
“Oh, my sweet little darling,” he whispered, taking one of your gloved hands. Slowly, he slid off the long gloves, repeating the same for the other. “This time, I cannot let you off.
His hands then clasped yours. “This time...I need you to say what you want for me.”
The declaration would have had you closing your legs in embarrassment if your husband was not between them. Not even embarrassment for what he said but...the idea of you wanting to completely oblige it.
Look at you — a few months ago, you possessed not a single inclination of what he suggested; what he asked for, what he so direly wanted you to say. The woman before this one would have rather buried herself under the earth than admit such desire for a man.
The Duke of Hastings, though, brought her out from her underground retreat, and revealed to her all that she was capable of. He showed her what everyone was so afraid to even talk about, and made you addicted to what was forbidden.
A dire shame you wanted Hyunjin to keep you intoxicated for the rest of your life.
You faced him once and for all. Asked him for the one thing which you never thought imaginable.
“Show me...all of it.”
Your hands travelled to his shoulders, keeping him close.
“Show me everything.”
If there was a way to bottle this moment and hang it on the walls of his heart, Hyunjin would have jumped at the chance.
Had he defiled you, after so long? Had he slipped his dirty fantasies into your mind, tainted you with his infatuation?
The answers to his questions were found upon your lips. He collided his own against yours as he gathered you up in his arms, standing up and taking you with him.
Your legs would have given way if we’re not for him keeping his grip — a grip which wandered upwards, catching the little metal hooks of your dress. He thrust his tongue inside your mouth, and the harsh frenzy delighted you, welcoming all of it as you opened for him wider. A shuddered breath escaped you at the hooks being undone by his hands, one by one till you felt your gown loosen.
At the last hook, Hyunjin pulled the sleeves off your arms, and the dress fell to the floor, leaving you with your corset and petticoats. You were caught off guard when he swivelled you around, you feeling the tugs of lace being unravelled with each pull of his fingers. The kisses did not cease, being rewarded at the crook of your neck. Each caress of his lips sent shivers down your spine — more so when he eased off the corset from your body, tugging off your petticoats along with it.
All that was left was a thin, loose chemise, everything shown clearly beneath the white veil of its fabric. The man turned you to face him again, and his gaze turned molten at the sight that welcomed him. Taking your lips in his, he ripped off his own attire — the long coat, waistcoats, every piece from the waist up being discarded. He had to break away for a moment to take his shirt off, and you caught the sight of his lean figure, turned golden in the light.
You could not help reaching out, running your curious fingers against his skin, soft and warm beneath your touch. He dared not speak, fearing you would take away your hand, but that was the last thing you wanted to do.
Tonight, you did not want distance — and neither did he.
Kissing you again, he pulled the lace in front of your chemise, loosening the attire until, with wandering hands, he dropped the last layer you upheld. Slowly, never leaving your lips, he backed you against the bed, holding you steady as he laid you upon the sheets. You never let go of him, aching to take all of him in your mouth, taste his very soul till it was the only thing that remained on your tongue.
“Fuck—” a curse escaped him as he broke away, catching the swelling of your lips. His gaze trailed downwards, upon your breasts which perked at the sight. “You’re so—so beautiful, I—”
Trails of open-mouthed kisses attacked you after, falling upon your breasts where Hyunjin began swiping his tongue along the nipple. The foreign wave of pleasure had you ripping out the most atrocious moan, caring less if the whole manor were to hear.
While his tongue played with you, his fingers worked at his trousers, unbuckling his belt as he peeled off the clothing, tossing it to the ever growing pile. You craned your head forward, glancing at the bulge near bursting from his underwear. A quivering sigh escaped you, rendering louder by the quickening of his actions.
Getting rid of his underwear, his cock sprung free, and you were surprised you had not passed out from the mere sight, red and angry and too bloody big. You could not stop staring, hard to believe that a man could possess such...such substantial anatomy.
“Like what you see, angel?” Your husband mused, leaving his place upon your nipple. Flustered, you tried to look away, but it was no use, when the man caught your chin with his fingers. “I’m surprised you can be shy even now.”
That did not help with your situation, causing you to heat drastically beneath his touch. Chuckling, he dropped a little kiss upon your nose before resting his forehead against yours.
Grasping his cock, he levelled it against your leaking cunt, the head teasing your folds. Even the small action had you seething, the warm residue sending shockwaves across your body. You held onto his neck, fearing you would lose yourself if you dared not hold onto him.
His midnight eyes turned to yours, noses brushing. “This may hurt for a second, ____,” he confessed, voice barely a murmur. “But I promise I will make that second up to you.”
Nodding slightly, you watched only him as his gaze travelled downwards. Fear threatened to take over, but one look at your husband, and it all faded.
With a final prayer to the heavens, Hyunjin began his descent.
Slowly, ever so slowly, his cock slid into your cunt. A heightened whine bubbled up to your throat, and you let it free with each inch that entered, terrified that this man could break you with what he slipped inside you. Your walls tightened with its entrance, and the more you voiced out the more he tended, peppering sweet kisses upon your cheeks.
You did not know how long it was till he stopped, letting you adjust to him inside you. Your eyes threatened to bulge out of their sockets, yet your husband was a huge comfort, circling smooth strokes upon your hip with his thumb, holding your face as he held the universe in his hands.
Breathing deeply, he glanced at you — a nod was your response to his consoling gaze, knowing what he meant.
With that, the duke began to pull out.
He was slow, just as he was when he first entered you. He was gradual, languid, and the terror that haunted you was replaced with a new, different kind of high.
You had never felt something so pleasurable.
You revealed your surprise to Hyunjin, stare glistening at the foreign sensation — your entire body was up in the clouds, relishing the slow withdrawal and the skill he brought in the bedroom. You were so sure that he was terrified too, scared of ruining this, but all you could feel was pure, unadulterated delight.
When the head reached the beginning of your folds once again, you thought that this was it — there was no more to be done, and your contentment was short-lived.
However, your husband surprised you as he slid inside you once again.
This time, there was a slight increase of pace, and it kept getting better, your feelings heightening with each passing second as he dipped further into you. He was so unbelievably good, knowing just how to make you whimper — God, his gaze was enough to undo you, ablaze with all the hellfire from the underworld. The devil worked hard, but Hyunjin worked overtime, bottoming out into you once more.
From that point on, your bodies began to move in sync, you giddily moving your hips along with his, aching to have him inside the whole time. Your hands carded through his velvety locks, taking out the ribbons so his hair fell all about him, curtailing his face as he rocked back and forth upon you. By God, he was so exquisite, something straight out of an artist movement, despite the sweat beading down his forehead, despite the parted mouth, the slight panting.
“H-Hyunjin—” you began, interrupted by another sharp moan from his efforts. “Hyunjin, I think I’m close—”
This time, you were interrupted by his lips upon your neck, teething love bites everywhere upon your skin. He hummed against you at your warning, and thrusted his cock into you. The head reached a certain spot which had you seeing seventh heaven, seeing truth and peace and everything in between, because fuck, he knew where to strike.
You did not know how long it had been till you felt yourself dizzying, the feeling in your lower abdomen warning you of its leash snapping. Hyunjin, aware that you were close, only brought his fingers to your clit, prodding at the bud till tears stung your eyes.
“I...fuck, angel—!” He gasped between thrusts, pressing sloppy kisses upon your lips. “Look at you, all...all messed up from my cock!”
Heightened wailing was your response, broken murmurs being spewed from your lips. Hastily the man shook his head, revelling in your utter ruination.
“Ah—! Come on now!” he cooed in his husky rasp, holding onto your head. “Say it for me, darling.”
A part of you did not think you could manage, but you had to if it meant he would bring you relief. The duke may have been the love of your life, but he was still, undoubtedly, a smug bastard.
Despite that, you could not believe how easily you resorted to begging.
“Please, Hyunjin!” You pleaded in half-pants, the tears spilling when he delved into that one particular spot again. “Make me do—whatever the hell I do, damn it!”
Huffing out a small laugh, the man held onto you a little tighter, retaining his grin. “Oh, ____,” he said, and the next words slipped out in his haze of lust, not realising he had revealed something of terrible importance.
After planting another disheveled kiss, he murmured, “You are so lucky that I love you.”
You did not have time for this declaration to settle before your husband obliged you in the best possible way; his thrusting turned erratic, fast and uneven, and the increased pace of his fingers was too much, all at once.
You had no choice but to let out a cry as you spilled onto him — some escaped from your walls and stained the sheets, whimpering breaths keeping you alive. His ministrations slowed as well, fingers stopping at your clit.
Watching you undo yourself for him was certainly the last straw for him — for the first time he released into you, grunting at the impact. Parts of his orgasm, too, sullied the sheets, but that was the least of his concerns, as he held onto you for dear life, nearly shattering his entire self upon you.
Pulling out of you, he collapsed beside you on the bed, his deep breaths breaking the silence. You, too, panted for a while, gazing up at the dark ceiling.
You expected your first thought to be utter delight at your first time. You had finally done what no one in polite society ever told you about, and it was so wonderful that you doubt anyone would have shared in your fortune.
However, your mind was occupied with another matter entirely.
You are lucky that I love you.
You closed your eyes.
Hyunjin loved you. Hwang Hyunjin, your best friend and husband, loved you when you thought it impossible.
Something within you then wondered if it was too good to be true.
“____?”
Noticing your name, you turned, finding the very man staring at you — in a way which would have your theories proven true. You did not know about yourself, but seeing him before you, black locks disheveled, skin glistening from sweat, you could not deny that anyone would fall for him if they saw him now.
You tried to push your emotions past you, blinking back a bit of fatigue. “Yes?”
“Tell me what goes on in that mind of yours.” Turning over, he propped his arm, holding his head in his hand. “Are you alright?”
Perhaps you should have opted for a vague yes, but something in you did not want to beat around the bush anymore. You wished to tell him your truth.
“I was wondering about what you said,” you began, reflecting his position.
“I have said many things, darling,” the man drawled. “What do you specifically mean?”
“Well…” you tried to avoid his gaze, but you knew by now that evading Hyunjin was useless. “Before I...you know…”
“Know what?” He mused, which had you rolling your eyes.
“You know what I mean!” Sighing, you continued, constantly looking at his features. “Well, just before that, you said something to me...is it true?”
Silence fell on the room as your husband pondered at your question. His eyebrows raised, and you realised that he had figured it out.
“Ah, yes,” he said, nodding. “I know exactly what you speak of.”
You waited for his response, suddenly aware of how naked you were in this bedroom. Dread curled at your stomach, and you debated grabbing the sheets and sneaking out of the manor.
That is when Hyunjin gave you his answer. Gave it to you as he took your hand in both of his, pinning you with a stare he reserved only for you.
“They are the truest words I have spoken.”
He leaned into you, and your heart fluttered, much more dramatically now because of what he revealed.
A soul-saving smile adorned his lips. “Despite our circumstances, it was inevitable that I would fall, and I thank the heavens that I did. I love you, ____, even if you cannot return the feeling. I love you as the friend I never had.
“I love you because you are the most inspirational woman I have ever had the pleasure to meet.”
When he finished, you wondered whether you had the words to respond to a confession as heart-wrenching as the one your husband blessed you with. Tears pricked the corners of your vision, and you leaned into his hands which cupped your face.
Brushing his lips against yours, you willingly accepted, giving him all the affection you garnered within you for so long. The tears trailed down your cheeks, and you had to pull away, hands curling at his locks.
“I-I…” you sniffled, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Hyunjin, I-I love you so much—”
The man’s heart burst from his chest.
His rashness got the better of him, interrupting you with a searing kiss as he sunk his teeth into your bottom lip.
Never in his lust-hazed mind did he foresee you reciprocating his affection.
He was ready to spend eternity in a one-sided relationship. He was ready to stomach the melancholy you brought if you were to fall for another, or if you simply never loved at all, blankly living your life without any form of affection to give.
But…to have you fall for him.
What he said to you was wrong.
You were not lucky that he loved you.
He was lucky that you loved him.
So the Duke of Hastings, pulling the clean sheets upwards, showed you how lucky he was, deepening the kiss and you offering all of you again, moving your lips along with his.
And in this night, the two of you made another revelation — that perhaps reality was not the villain in the both of yours tales after all.
THE DAYS AFTER THE BALL WERE NOTHING BUT EUPHORIA.
You wondered whether it was all a dream, with the happiness that followed without any strings attached.
The passionate endeavours between the two of you did not stop at Seungmin’s manor — hands wandered in the carriage back home, and the moment you stepped at Lansdowne, Hyunjin backed you against the wall and ripped your dress right off, never wanting to stop ravishing you. You did not stop him, did not want to stop him, when you waited so long for him to engulf you without any barriers. By the time you both stopped in the shy hours of dawn, you had been drained of all physical strength, but filled with mental joy.
You fell in love with Hwang Hyunjin, and had the fortune of this love reciprocated.
Sometimes, you wondered if it was all a dream — a twisted, subliminal illusion, tricking you into believing that marital life is what every writer writes of in the end, the solution filled with flowers and sweet kisses. You never thought, even in your wildest dreams, that you could achieve such bliss with another.
Then, you would wake up with your husband’s arms around you, and finally understand. Finally comprehend what it meant, to never stray from a soul connected with yours.
The weeks after also brought the finishing of your novel, your childhood dream all polished in your hands as you took it to the most famous publishers in town. You had fears of the reactions, as what you wrote during certain parts of the novel was borderline scandalous, but the men at the publishing house enjoyed the first few chapters you showed them, and asked for more on the next visit.
You were overjoyed by their reaction, but then doubt entered your mind at once — what if they were only agreeable to your writing because of your position?
The thought soured your happiness. You did not want to be a writer because of your position in society, but because of your skill. There may have been thousands of other women with talents surpassing yours, but would never be able to achieve even the interest of a publisher.
Hyunjin was the first to know of your news, and the worries which accompanied it. He listened to you on your second, third visits, scoffing at your disbelief of your turn of events. It was ridiculous in his mind how ardently you doubted yourself, waving off the publishers’ interests in your novel as sheer luck, or your station as the Duchess of Hastings. He assured you many a time, that your flair in creating stories surpassed no man or woman living in London.
He knew those publishers well — well enough to know that they had never released a novel written by a woman, no matter how influential she may have been. Knowing you had managed to enter consideration for publishing was a feat in itself. The duke had absolutely no doubt that he would see your works in the hands of every person who knew how to read.
What you did not expect, however, was the request from the publishers to have your novel anonymously published. You demanded a reason, and they provided a whole list — women writing was only considered a secondary activity, and if word were to reach the city of a Duchess writing books instead of tending to her family, then it would cause an outrage. You could not believe your ears, despite a small part of you expecting this setback.
You wanted your name on the book.
Confiding in your husband once more, you told him of the condition, angrily pacing back and forth in your home. “It is simply...awful!” you spat, locking your hands behind your back, turning the room once more. Hyunjin watched you with a concerned look passing over his features as he looked up from his book. “Why should I hide my identity? I am proud of what I wrote, damn it!”
The man let out a sigh. “I think you should keep the name anonymous.”
That had you pausing. “I beg your pardon?” you demanded, thundering over to him. “Are you saying I conform to their conditions?”
“I am not suggesting it because of their reasoning. I know they are still too ashamed to try publishing a woman’s creation.”
Closing his book, he set it to the side table. “My love, there is nothing that brings me more joy than seeing you accomplish your dreams. I want more than anything to boast of your mind, and the writings it invents. However,” he continued, “I fear when the public sees your name printed on the novel, a controversial one at that, and see it that they attack you.”
“But that does not matter to me,” you responded, hands on your hips. “In fact, I welcome their criticism! Let me see what poppycock they want to say of my hard work.”
Hyunjin clamped his lips together, trying to hide a smile. “I am happy you do not care for such people, but it would damage your future writings. It would damage your future.”
When you frowned at him, he held out his hands. You closed the distance, settling upon his lap, sliding your arms around his shoulders, while he did the same around your waist. “Tell me, angel, do you wish to write after this?”
“Of course.”
“Well, see it like this,” he began. “Let us say you publish the novel anonymously. It would be in instant circulation, and everyone would read it, no matter who they are. Why? Because your identity is hidden. There would be no bias against you.”
“So?” you asked, and Hyunjin gave you a look. “Okay, okay, continue!”
“As I was saying,” he carried on, “This would not only help you gain an initial audience, but, if you do wish to reveal yourself after that, then it would be perfect. You would have not only shown the public that a woman had written such a brilliant novel, but anyone who would have had previous biases would either conform to reading your writing, or be furious that they had been tricked into reading a woman’s novel.” He then added, smirking, “Which, in my opinion, would be a very amusing situation to witness.”
You thought over what he said, mind in slight conflict. “In the end, though, it is your choice,” he reassured you. “Whatever you do, you have my undeterred support.”
The little addition had you smiling. “You make valid points,” you admitted, which had the man releasing a chuckle.
“You say that as if I have no intelligence,” he jeered, pulling you closer. “You will be thanking me when all of this goes as I predicted.”
“Don’t push it,” you countered. “We both know you have been proved wrong many times.”
“Hmmm…” he trailed off, leaning in, brushing his lips upon your skin. “At least I know I am right about one thing.”
“Oh?” Your head began to swim as he trailed a few lingering kisses up your neck. “And...and what would that be?”
He did not answer you — only offered an alluring smile before pressing his lips against yours. A soft hum left you as he moved his mouth against yours, slow and languid, teasing his tongue against the seams.
You would have offered yourself right then and there if he had not broken away, drumming his fingers against your waist. The smile darkened as he gave you his reply.
“You cannot resist me, angel.”
That, no matter how much it worked against your favour, was an undoubted fact.
After this though, you made your decision to keep anonymous, letting the publishers know of your change of heart. You knew that what Hyunjin said made sense, and, if your novel does receive recognition, then revealing yourself would create a huge statement in London society, positive or not. With this in mind, brought the final edited drafts of your work, and received information of the commissions and percentages taken by the publishing house.
Because the release of your novel was to take some time, you had some freedom with your everyday activities, which were once taken up by the constant editing. The duke, luckily, had begun to employ much more able men in his authority, and so his work was decreased significantly, to the point where he had days to spend with you alone.
During that waiting period, he suggested the two of you retreat to Hemingford, where you both spent your honeymoon. Your smile never left as you jumped at the idea, the man in turn making arrangements for the earliest carriage out of the city.
Within two days, you were welcomed by the little manor, nestled in the gifts of nature. You found yourself warming to the whole place once more, memories of the past months returning in a flash. Images of the many groves of trees, small network of rivers and a special presence, soothed you in every part you walked through. You nearly forgot how dear Hemingford was to you in the chaos of city life, engulfing its regal, almost mystical atmosphere. A part of you hoped that the book would take forever to be published, so you could never leave the natural retreat Hyunjin’s ancestors had created.
The man himself was glad he opted to take you to the manor — he saw your nerves slowly taking over in London, and knew that the more you stayed in Lansdowne, the more the wait was going to eat you alive. Aware of your attachment towards this place, he made it his personal mission to bring you here, and try to provide you with a little peace. When he caught that certain smile of yours when your eyes fell on the manor and the gardens around it, he felt half his worries melting away in the spring air.
He hated seeing you so unnerved.
After a few days resting in paradise, the situation was changed for the better. You, breathing in the very earth beneath your feet, observing the trees curved over you like a concerned parent, thought that you could stay here forever. Receiving a letter from the publishers’ of the near completion of copies made only brightened your spirits, and you sighed out into nature.
“Is something the matter?”
Perking up, you saw Hyunjin, who walked over from behind you.
“Ah...not much,” you said, watching him settle beside you on the bench you sat upon, folding one dark-clad leg over the other. In his hands possessed a book of deep-shaded red, which he held with great care. “Thinking about the letter today.”
“I see.” His eyes wandered down to his fingers. “Actually, I do have something for you, relating to the subject.”
“Oh?” You followed his trail. “Does this book have something to do with it?”
“However did you figure that out?” He drawled, but then he faced you properly, unfolding his leg. “Here.”
You took the possession, eyes on him. “Whose book is it?”
A knowing smile escaped his lips. “Look at the front, angel.”
Curious, you obliged, checking the title.
You completely stilled.
Written on the front was the name of your novel.
“Oh my God,” you got out, holding it with both hands, opening it to the pages. There it all was, inscripted upon the hundreds of pieces of paper.
Your writing.
Your sleepless nights, your labour, your every ounce of strength, tied together by paper and leather and string.
Rushing, you opened to a random section of the novel, smile widening at the typewriter’s neat, cleaner version of your manic scribbles. The dialogue, the description of each environment — it was there before you, but this time it was not in your head, whirling indefinitely without a place to explain itself.
It was all on paper — in your very hands.
“H-Hyunjin,” you stammered out, not realising your heart was becoming a little too heavy. “Oh my God—where did you get this? Have they—they have begun to sell copies already?”
“Oh Lord,” your husband murmured, hands on your shoulders. “No, no, my love, this was of my own doing.”
When he caught the confused expression upon your aghast face, he explained further. “Before we left for London, I paid a visit to the publishers’, who had started typing up copies of your book. I requested the first copy made be given to me.”
His thumbs began to stroke soothing circles onto your skin. “I know you would have wanted to hold it in your hands before anyone else.”
Heavens above. He truly knew you so well.
You focused back on the book, closing it as you ran your fingers over the leather cover. “I…”
“No need,” he said, giving you an amused grin. “I already know I am the best husband one could ask for.”
He expected his banter to be returned, but you responded to him with a heart-shattering smile.
Holding out the book, you propped it in his hands. “I want you to have it, Hyunjin.”
This time, it was his turn to be confused. “Am I missing the joke here?”
You held his gaze, albeit with much difficulty. “I promised you something once, quite a long time ago. All my firsts are yours.”
Your hand reached out, brushing against his. “This is my first novel. My most prized possession.” A pause, before holding that state with all your might. “I would want nothing more than for you to keep it.”
The duke used his every ounce of strength not to cry upon the bench. “Well then…” he began, taking the book from you. He turned to the front page, which was blank, save for the title name again, and the written anonymously typed onto its surface. “Well, ____, you must sign it for me!”
A laugh escaped you at that. “An autograph?” You jested, spluttering further when the man brought out his fountain pen, opening the cap. “I suppose with this enthusiasm, I shall throw in a little message.”
Hyunjin slapped a hand to his chest, brows raising in mock surprise. “By God, you spoil me!”
“Give it here!” You retorted, taking the pen and book once more as you found the landing page.
You pondered for a few minutes on what to write, earning a few hurry ups! and the occasional she does not love me after all, the latter greatly exaggerated. Berating him, you finally thought of the words, arriving straight from the heart.
Finishing off, you gave the novel back. “Let us see what faux sweetening you have made for me,” he chortled, eyes lowering to the text.
His grin began to fade as he read the message in his mind.
TO THE MAN WHO WAS MY FIRST FRIEND, MY FIRST KISS, AND NOW MY FIRST LOVE.
HERE’S TO MANY MORE FIRSTS WITH YOU. I KNOW THEY WILL ALL LAST.
I LOVE YOU.
Hyunjin knew that the sting in his eyes was not the spring breeze.
Slowly, he looked up, catching you staring at him with a smile—loving smile upon your face. A shuddered breath left his lips, unable to form the words.
“Oh no,” you began, jesting despite tears welling up in your own eyes. “It seems the duke believes in my faux sweetening after all.”
A coughed laugh left him at that, trying to clamp his lips together from smiling, but his emotions refused him to suppress himself. His eyes crescented, adding to his near teary grin. Propping the book to the side, he offered his familiar stare, laced with every fibre of affection.
“Come here.”
You jumped at the command, leaning closer as he cupped your face in his hands and pulled you to him. He moulded his lips against yours, and you readily accepted him, offering yourself up entirely for him — as if you were not completely his by your own choice.
The slight madness laced upon his mouth had you whining onto him, taking in the entirety of his affection as you opened up to him. Your request was teased upon with his tongue, sliding along your bottom lip, but the man pulled away, panted breaths fanning your mouth.
He pressed his forehead against yours, fingers holding onto your face as if letting go would cause you to stray. “I…” he let out a deep, trembling breath. “I love you, ____. So much.”
Your heart would never tire of the declaration. “I love you too, Hyunjin.”
And as he claimed your lips once more, you wondered whether you had finally achieved what every work of literature praised in the most elevated of languages.
Still, at least you knew this — that once there was a duke who you promised all your firsts to, and had somehow found his way into your heart.
There was once a woman, who refused to believe in love for herself, only for this duke to convince her otherwise, by falling for her completely.
Love stories may be a mere creation of the mind, but at least, at the very least, you knew.
Your love story was real. The first which was not mere fantasy, but real and true and tangible.
You had a feeling that this first, out of all the others you shared with the Duke of Hastings, was going to last.
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Blissful Rest || Felix (HC)
Requested by Anonymous : "Heya! can i ask for a really fluffy comfort one with felix for a reader with insomnia! if not no worries whatsoever <3"
Greetings dear Anonymous, apologies for this taking a while. I hope this lovely post about darling Felix will still bring you the comfort you need. I certainly love writing sweet little pieces about him. I chose to do these as headcanons, I hope that is alright with you. 🖤
!Warnings! None! Only some good old fashioned Felix fluff. And yes I did use my fancast for the banner... but how could I not, just look at him.
𝐀𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬, 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐰.
Often have I spoken about how I view Felix as a gentle giant, and that still rings true in my headcanoning. He is exceptionally respectful, honourable and attentive. Out of all of the guards I believe he is the one who is aching the most for a mate. Felix has lived a long life, and at this point he wants to share eternity with someone. So, whoever Felix finds himself with... he will feel an overwhelming sense of relief and love wash over him.
Seeing as though sleep is involved, these bouts of insomnia will be occurring during the period of time when his new mate is supposed to prepare for the change. In the beginning Felix didn't necessarily pick up on their strange sleeping patterns, after all he was a vampire and didn't need to rest. But when their pattern began alternating every other day, he understood that something must have been very wrong.
His first thought was that they were slightly unnerved by him, after all he was a vampire, 6'7 tall with muscle and well known as the coven's executioner. But they were sweet towards him when they were awake, so his thoughts strayed towards other explanations. Could it be they didn't feel safe in Volterra in general? But then again, they were safely tucked away in his quarters with higher guards all around with stellar control. And nobody, not a single soul would ever dare take his mate away from him. Felix's standing within the coven and reputation made sure of that.
One evening as he watched them get ready for bed he finally broached the subject, and while they hesitated for a split second; they did in the end explain what ailed them. Felix understood, all too well in fact. Some of the memories he had from his human life was of him being unable to sleep, or simply tossing and turning on something that did not even qualify as a bed.
"Is there anything I can do to help you?" "... Lie with me until I fall asleep?" "Then I shall strive to do that every night."
Now, Felix due to his biology is not going to be this large warm teddy bear; but he will place a fine blanket between himself and his mate as he holds them tightly. They tried once to get skin on skin contact but realised quickly it would not be a comfortable experience, making Felix chuckle.
"When you join me in immortality I will feel much more pleasant my dear, that I can promise you." "Softer as well?" "Yes, for the most part." "... I look forward to it." "So do I."
As they lay there he would begin telling them stories, pointing out various items in his quarters and how he acquired them. Other times he would speak of his fellow guards and himself, after all it was important that they felt like they were a part of the coven.
He would answer any question they had, not mincing his words when he described how immortality could change a person. But he also focused on all the marvellous things they would experience as well, and that within The Volturi they had more freedom than people might think.
If they did not find it too uncomfortable, Felix would run his fingers through their hair; lightly massaging their scalp as he went along to lull them into a deep sleep. Featherlight kisses would be placed against their forehead when their breathing finally evened out, Felix silently thanking the fates for blessing him with a mate of his own. He would come to appreciate these moments, feeling like he was able to watch over his mate as they slept; keeping them safe.
Felix' mate slept more soundly and regularly the next coming weeks, until they would require sleep no longer.
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Misery
Sadistic!Yandere!Diluc x Fatui Harbinger!GN!reader
Wordcount: 6748
CW: torture, sex, foul language, isolation, sensory deprivation, extremely unhealthy relationships, dubcon, mindbreak, violence
Diluc isn’t a cruel person. Not necessarily. He punishes you only when you are difficult and for the last few weeks you tried to stay on your best behavior. Ragnvindr is nice to you, benevolent even, willing to look past your former affiliations and shower you with love. At times his affections seem suffocating and irking, blood red eyes following your every movement and him absorbing your every word as if it is a holy scripture, but you remind yourself that his love is the best thing that happened to you in your whole life.
Truly, Diluc is so kind to take you in and help you fix the errors of your old ways, even when you were snarling and spitting insults in his face, too stubborn to see how wrong your old life was. You were ignorant and ungrateful back then, seeing nothing but a Harbinger title and service to Tsaritsa. You forced Diluc to lock you up to make you realize that you didn't need your title or your vision or your archon. He is there for you and it's all that matters, you can rely on him for everything and he is happy to provide, persistent in his care for you and even now he is patient with your… deficiencies, waiting when you stop staring into the distance with vacant eyes.
You stand in front of an open but barred window, a typically Mondstadtian landscape revealed to you - bright green grass and patches of dandelions and windwheel asters growing in small groups with tall trees of the same shade finishing the picture. A gentle breeze flows through the opening, playing with your hair and caressing your skin, yet you imagine another type of wind - stronger and colder, relentless and carrying small snowflakes on the way. You close the eyes and see another image - tall, leafless trees covered by multiple layers of snow and the white ground between them. Snow shines and glitters under the pale winter sun, and you feel alive and bitter at the same time.
You know the place, having been there once, but your memory now is too blurry and fuzzy. All of the events prior to Diluc fixing you up are too foggy to make out the finer details and it somehow makes you feel sad, when you should be grateful instead. Tears well up in your eyes, and you can’t make them stop, rapidly going from silent crying to full on hysterics.
You hear Diluc asking what’s wrong with a concern in his voice, his hands slightly shaking your crying form. You can’t answer him, wailing even louder and stronger, hiding your face in both hands, ashamed from the sudden outburst and overwhelmed from unreasoned sorrow and heartache. Only when Ragnvindr painfully squeezes both of your shoulders and demands to know what is wrong with you in that tone that makes you shiver and gasp, do you stop, looking at him with wide scared eyes, hands that were used to cover your face, are now up in the air in a semi defensive stance.
He seems uncomfortable by your reaction, a slight frown appearing on his face, scarlet brows knit together and corners of mouth turned downward. “I am sorry”, you say, voice small and pleading, eyes casted aside not meeting his out of embarrassment. Why did you start to act so childish out of the blue?
“There’s nothing to apologize”, Diluc takes off the glove, using an uncovered hand to wipe away the tear tracks from your cheeks. There’s no irritation in his voice, just concern, so you risk a glance at him, as he continues: “You are just making me worry”
“I am sorry” you repeat, feeling a prick to your heart, as you process his words - Ragnvindr is so good to you, providing with everything you could ever ask of, and here you are, making him concerned and anxious over some silly daydreams. “It’s really nothing, I just need to be more attentive, that’s it”
You noticed that it’s harder for you to stay in the moment as you start to frequently space out, mind too occupied by the memories of days long past - playing with peers, entering Fatui, receiving a delusion. It’s a futile thing, but images still consume all of your attention and focus, keeping you from sleeping and eating.
“[First], I...” he starts, but then trails off, huffing to mask his hesitancy. Instead of talking he takes your face in one hand and leans in, his lips meeting yours. It's a slow and gentle kiss at first, but just like all other things with Diluc it quickly escalates into something more: his hands now take you by your waist and tug you closer to him, making you press with your entire chest against him, and he deepens the kiss, his tongue freely exploring the confines of your mouth as you moan into his from pleasure and such close proximity.
When you two part, Diluc leaves you flushed and dizzy, with heart quickly pounding against the ribcage. You feel a fire of arousal igniting inside of you, it travels from your chest to belly and soon spreads to the rest of the body. Your cheeks heat up as you stand up on tiptoes to whisper “Can we do it right now?” in Diluc’s ear, voice full of both shame and anticipation.
“Of course, my dear”, there are hints of a smile in his tone and he effortlessly lifts you up and heads for the bedroom and as he carries you you can’t help but zone out again, the memories of past days flashing in your mind.
***
Your first meeting happens during one winter night, as you receive the order to deal with him day prior, at a Harbinger meeting in the Zapolyarny palace. Eleven of you stay kneeling in the main hall, awaiting for Her Majesty to come in as Scaramouche and Tartaglia start to bicker as usual.
“I bet it’s about that mysterious person who’s destroying one stronghold after the other” Childe starts, voice full of bravado and smugness, fake smile blooming on his face: “Fortunately, Tsaritsa has me to take on whatever this stranger is”.
“I wouldn’t be so cocky if I were you, Tartaglia”, Scaramouche remarks, almost spitting out the last word.
“Why shouldn’t I? I am the youngest here, yet I am also the strongest. Why are you so upset? Feeling envious of my power?” Childe retorts, voice still sounding too cheery to be natural.
“If there was anything to envy. You may be the best at fighting among us, but it’s the only thing you are good at”.
“Huh, it seems I was wrong. Maybe little Scaramouche wants to be as tall as me and that’s why he spits out his funny silly slander”.
It must have struck the nerve, as Scaramouche snaps back with an angry tirade, from which their exchange escalates into a heated battle of barely hidden insults. You, just as the rest of other Harbingers listen to their conversation, half amused and half irritated, lifting the brows at the creative mockings.
“Silence”, domineering and overpowering voice says and you still yourself, eyes casted downwards, as Childe and Scaramouche stop their exchange at the same moment. Footsteps echo throughout the hall, as a feminine figure takes its place on a high throne in the middle of the hall. Tsaritsa has arrived.
“As I can see my children already know about the perpetrator attacking my servants” archon starts, divine power and absolute authority evident in each syllable. You feel how the deity’s eyes look at all of you, despite still keeping head bowed and stance obedient.
“Innamorati”, you hear your title and lift up your gaze, ready to take whatever order the Goddess has for you.
“I entrust you with this task, don’t disappoint me”.
***
Diluc is not a coward and he never was one, but now he can’t help but feel a pang of fear, looking at your approaching form.
“Let’s test our delusions, shall we?”, you almost purr, voice soft, silken smooth and full of unspoken threat. It sends shivers down his spine, yet he still equips this cursed thing and braces himself for the upcoming battle.
There’s a stillness in your moves, a confidence that whatever Diluc has in his arsenal, you can endure and answer with something deadly in return. This dangerous calm both disturbs and excites young Ragnvindr.
He lashes out on you with a stream of accursed chains, filling the air with the sickly sweet scent of mist grass. You easily side step his attack, letting out a cheerless laugh and then come back with a cold gust, frost air currents easily cutting through his skin.
He barely dodges the attack, slowly registering the pain from injury. It’s a shallow cut and a testament to your strength, Diluc thinks, as he touches the scrape, marvelling at your speed. In the end, Diluc can’t stand against you - you’re stronger, have more experience and infinitely faster than him, bringing down one overwhelming attack after the other, a catalyst shining and glowing as you do so.
He jumps and ducks and runs, avoiding one hit after the other, yet there's only so much his body can do. Soon his limbs grow heavier and his breathing labored, Diluc slows down and that's when your attack finally strikes him. It pierces his body, pools of blood quickly forming under him.
Diluc falls down, his battered body no longer able to stand. Memories and regrets alike flood his mind, reminding him of deeds he wishes he did and deeds he wishes he didn’t. He remembers his childhood - all daydreams and high hopes, the world around him bright and friendly. He remembers his father's dying face and Kaeya’s guilt-ridden expression. He remembers overwhelming helplessness and grief transforming into righteous anger and hate.
It all seems so pointless now - leaving the Mondstadt, breaking all bonds with Kaeya or spending years in a mindless massacre, satiating his thirst for revenge by destroying one Fatui stronghold after the other, with no regard for his body or spirit. What was the point of it all, if he's still there, lying and bleeding to death, as you look down on him?
He throws, what he thinks, the last glance at the world, a strange thought appearing in his mind as he looks at you: I want them. As Diluc's consciousness fades he misses a sound of an observer's footsteps.
Later, as he gets saved by the said third party’s observer, who commented and praised Diluc’s methods, he replays the encounter in his mind, getting confused at this particular thought. Why would he want you? Maybe he wants you to die or maybe he wants to see you defeated, but in no way he sees you as desirable. In the end he blames everything on his oxygen deprived brain at the time, explaining the strange attraction he felt for you at that moment.
Having a near death experience and a taste of his own dying regrets, he decides to return to Mondstadt and as he does, thoughts about you continue to pester him. They fly around and buzz, reminding Diluc of your face, eyes and voice, of your body and skills and that terrifying speed you attacked him at. He swats them away like a noisy, annoying flies, suppressing and burying feelings deep, deep down, and naming his interest in you “a desire for revenge and retribution”.
***
Your second meeting happens once the news of a sudden Stormterror attack reaches Tsaritsa’s ears - a perfect opportunity for acquiring anemo archon’s gnosis and a new step in her rebellion against Celestia. She thinks about sending La Signora at first, as your fellow Harbinger is fast and ruthless, able to complete a job no matter the cost, but soon archon changes her mind and picks you instead. For secrecy and subterfuge, she adds, don’t disappoint me.
I won't, you promise more to yourself than her, as Tsaritsa never asks but orders. With your head bowed in deep respect and the heavy gaze of the goddess on your form, you decide that you will do your best to bring cryo archon's vision into reality. You are dispatched to Mondstadt the same week, first by ship, then by carriage. Pristine white landscapes of Snezhnaya quickly morph into bright Mondstadtian green, and you finally arrive.
Despite or maybe because of Mondstadt having almost nothing similar with Snezhnaya, it steals a breath from you for a moment - city stands on a lone isle in the middle of deep blue lake, tall windmills and bright red roofs seen from a distance, along with a giant statue of Barbatos blessing the city.
Acting Grandmaster Jean greets you, her stern blue eyes intently observing you, as she says standard Favonius salute and you return your own cliche lines - about Tsaritsa’s concern and a peacekeeping mission, empty phrases that don’t elaborate on what actually Fatui will do. She fails to suppress a frown upon hearing it, sensing your real intentions, but you pay it no mind - Jean has no way or reason strong enough to ban you from Mondstadt without causing a diplomatic conflict.
You turn on the heels after brief negotiations, heading for the Goth Grand Hotel, mind already full of plans and schemes of obtaining the Gnosis. Before you departed, Tsaritsa shared a very interesting fact to you - throughout the centuries Barbatos used only one mortal form, disguising himself as a young cheerful bard named Venti. You dispatch a couple of agents and cicin mage to look for a person fitting the description, and then turn your attention to the rest of the fatuis.
You scold Anastasia for unprofessional rudeness towards Jean. “We need to maintain a benevolent image”, you say to her, right before demoting her and temporarily sending her off to Dragonspine as a punishment. Under your rule fatuis cease sneering and belittling Mondstadt in public, lessening no doubt growing ire of locals.
All goes well, until several events happen. Stormterror attacks the city and some blonde foreigner fights off the dragon, wielding mind blowingly strong anemo powers and riding the wind, like a flying bird. Then your agents finally find a bard, reporting that “Venti" prefers to spend a considerable amount of both time and mora in two local taverns - Angel’s Share and Cat’s tail.
You don civilian clothing, heading for the former tavern and send off a couple of other disguised agents to the latter one. Now, stripped of your mask and harbinger attire, citizens stop gawking and staring at you, their eyes passing your form, as you make your way as an ordinary passerby.
No one pays you attention, as you enter the tavern, save for the strange six fingered bard at the entrance. He tries to sell you his performance, but you wave him off, heading for the bar. And here you see him again - you recognize the unknown attacker, his bright red hair and eyes betraying him the same second. Your faces mirror in recognition as a tense silence settles between you.
“So what is Fatui doing in this tavern?”he asks loudly and half of the customers stop drinking and stare at you. You sigh “enjoying” the atmosphere he created, and utter a premade excuse: “Mondstadt is known for its wine industry and the best wines are sold by Dawn Winery. It would be a shame if I left the city without tasting its finest drinks first”.
You glance at the red gem on his collar, an obvious heirloom of a famous clan: “Didn’t know that Ragnvindr heir would spend his days working as a bartender. You must be Diluc, then. Am I right?". He doesn't dignify you with an answer, preferring to wipe the glasses and serve other customers, his eyes still observing you from time to time.
You quit the tavern early, as “Venti”, as it turns out, leaves the same second he hears about your presence. You order agents to spy on him, waiting for the right opportunity to strike, that you don't get a chance to act on.
You get attacked by Diluc on your way to the Windrise tree, where according to your intel, Barbatos decided to go. He slowly pulls out his claymore and you notice a difference between old and current him.
He is calm this time, his movements lacking fervent hatred and anger that was present during your first battle. He must have gotten stronger then, if he feels so confident, entering a battle with you. Or grown foolish, your mind supplies.
You start to fight, exchanging one blow for another, as he surprises you - there's no barbed chains rushing into your direction, only an orange light fire surrounding the claymore. A pyro vision dangles on his waist, glowing and shining as he activates it's powers. You masterfully dodge his hits, shooting combined anemo and cryo attacks from the catalyst.
Suddenly you step on a burning grass, and hiss and close your eyes from the sudden pain. Diluc uses this time to disarm you, his heavy claymore crushing a delicate catalyst into small pieces. It happens so fast, that you are left speechless at the sudden turn of the battle tides.
With no weapon left, all you can do is dodge and run - you almost reach the city again. it’s walls become visible as you do your best to push your body beyond limits, fatigue weighing down on every muscle. Diluc sends a phoenix - a damn phoenix! - on your way. Fire licks your skin and scorches ends of your hair, but you manage to dodge it too - if only by a small chance - and fall to the ground, mind drifting off to the unconscious world.
***
You come up to your senses slowly and gradually; first there are sensations - a rough rope around your wrists, wet, yet rugged stone walls, then the smells, tastes and sounds - stale, musty air, a coppery blood on your tongue and a shift of a fabric, and then the images at last - dark basement and a bright red blotch, that after a time becomes a head.
There’s a man sitting beside you, Diluc Ragnvindr, your memory supplies. You feel calm and confused for a moment until you remember the fight you both had. Seems, he finally overpowered you.
“You are awake” he says, voice grim and quiet.
“It seems I am. Let me guess, you dragged me here because you want to know what this big bad harbinger plans to do?”. Control your breathing, don’t let him hear the tremble of your voice, don’t let him see the fear in your eyes.
He looks at you with an unreadable gaze and you hold his stare, looking absolutely untroubled in return, a knowing and somewhat self-confident smirk playing in your lips. No matter his status in Mondstadt, Diluc kidnapped you, one of the fatui Harbingers and a close associate of Tsaritsa. His action, no doubt, will force Fatui to severe action, an action that neither his nation nor his people will be able to withstand.
“Think bigger”, he finally says: “I don’t care what you planned to do. I already have you here, weak and helpless. No, what I want is intel on what your goddess and organization are after”.
“Oh, mister Diluc, you want to play a big game? It’s dangerous in case you didn’t know. Maybe after I tell you all of our wicked plans, you will wish you had never asked” you purr, sensing how it grates his nerves, despite him keeping his face and stance impassive.
“How so?”
“Tsaritsa is the greatest of all seven, her vision is absolute. Even if you learn of her plans I doubt you will be able to stop any of them”.
“I asked what the plans were, not what you think of cryo archon”. Diluc’s voice becomes a tone louder, the already present frown on his face subtly deepening.
“Then I am afraid you won’t get any from me”.
He suddenly gets closer to you, his hand yanking you by your head. You hiss, trying to free the bound hands, as he drags you to a nearby barrel with water by hair and then he dips you in it. You instinctively jerk in his hold, a cold water seeping in your nose and mouth as he holds you underwater. Ten second passes, twenty, thirty, you jerk again, your head throbbing and aching from the lack of air, he pulls you upwards.
You nearly black out from the abrupt change, gulping down in the air and coughing out water. He repeats his question and you deny him again. He dips you more, each time becoming a bit longer than the last, only to repeat his query. You lose how many times he lowered you into liquid, absolutely wet and shivering now, when he finally stops and ties you up to the same place you woke up to.
“We will continue tomorrow, I have business to attend to. I suggest you use this time to rethink whether you want to tell me Tsaritsa’s plans or not, as I can get much worse” He heads for the exit from the basement, as you greedily inhale the air.
“Wait”, you say, still breathing heavily: “Aren’t you afraid of the punishment? You kidnapped me, a harbinger, and then proceeded to torture me. Tsaritsa will have your head for this slight against her.”
“Tsaritsa won’t find out. Your Harbingers won’t find out. No one will find out if there’s no evidence”. He steps closer to you, his voice becoming firmer with each word.
“And how do you think you will manage to hide the evidence? You left the knights years ago, you are nothing but a businessman at this point. I doubt they will cover up for you”.
“How did..”
“Oh, Diluc, people talk and I am very, very nosy. That girl, Donna, she told so much to my subordinates about you ”, you mock her, imitating her high breathy manner: “Oh Diluc, he was the youngest captain, but then he left. I wonder why he left? Maybe the knights wronged him!”
“Honestly, with the amount of ire you subject poor knights to, only a deaf and a blind won’t know about how much you despise Favonius Order'', you continue, anger and hatred seeping into your voice.
“I still have connections”, he says absolutely nonchalantly.
“Oh, do you bribe them, then? You criticize the knights for being corrupt, yet you are willing to ask them to hide my abduction? It’s a bit hypocritical, isn’t it?”
Diluc doesn’t answer this time, finally stepping out of the room and locking the door. You sit alone in a dimly lit room, water still all over you and heart quickly beating in your chest, trying to calm down. Later, when your heartbeat stops booming in your own ears, you pray to Tsaritsa, asking Goddess to grant you strength and endurance.
***
You manage to doze off once your clothes are almost dry. The dreams you see are vague and murky, dripping with a sense of unease and anxiety, you see dark silhouettes that morph into looming shadows that later transform into phantasmagorical monsters. It must be why you wake up the same second door opens with Diluc entering the room.
He looks grimmer now, more determined. You brace yourself for his hands tugging at your hair again and lungs burning from lack of oxygen, but none of it comes. He uses a dagger to slice your clothes off, careful not to damage skin underneath. Out of pure nerves you quip some stupid joke about dining first, but he pays you no mind, his hands soon touching your bare legs and looks at them with a filthy stare, his red eyes consuming revealed flesh.
You still under his stare, heart pounding as you try to distract yourself from the thoughts of what he might do to you right now. Almost a minute passes, when he finally stops staring at your legs and begins to move his arms, caressing your inner side of the thigh instead.
You shift from the discomfort, alarmed when his palms start to heat up. He wants to burn me, you think and barely stop yourself from screaming by biting your lip. A disgusting smell of burnt flesh fills up your nose as tears start to travel down your face. He removes the hand, revealing two angry red imprints with a collection of small blisters already forming. Diluc, again, asks the same question, and just like the last time you refuse to answer.
He does upkeep his threat of becoming much worse, with his hands burning your naked body - he targets sensitive spots or joints,so everytime you shift or move they throb and burn, disturbed at the smallest of motions.
“You're not the one to think about the consequences, are you?”, you ask when he finishes, voice quiet and raspy from screaming.
"No one will find you".
"I am one of the Tsaritsa's most trusted servants, of course they will find me", you pretend you don't hear desperation in your own voice.
"Time will show", Diluc says philosophically, looking as gentlemanly as possible despite him torturing you seconds ago.
"Yes, it will", you agree with him, picturing the bastard's face once he gets thrown in prison.
He leaves the room and you allow yourself to slump, careful not to move burned areas too much, and then he returns again, this time with food and medicine. He works fast at bandaging and disinfecting the burns, seems he is as intent at patching you up, as he is at tearing you apart. As he swathes another burn, you look at the brought food.
It’s unlikely he would drug it to make you tell the truth, given that he already tortures you and he doesn’t seem to be a type to play mind games. It still could be laced with poison though, not lethal one, that would be counterproductive, but the one that can cause pain and tremors all over your body. You’ve seen such substance at work once, when Il Dottore decided to show you the fruits of his experiments - victims were thrashing and shaking on the floor once a five minute mark had been passed, by the twentieth they already admitted to all crimes, regardless of how innocent they were.
It might be even a new torture method, devised by Diluc, just to strip you from the short respite when you are not in pain. He finally looks up to you, finishing the bandage, noticing the stare you look at the food with. "It's not poisoned" he guesses your thoughts, taking a small bite and a sip to prove his words. A minute passes, then the second and the third ones, nothing happens with him, no blushing or paling skin, no wide blown or pinprick pupils, nothing. It still could be a slow acting poison, but you doubt it - they're usually harder to cure, Diluc wouldn't willingly consume it given the long list of aftereffects that remain even after antidote was administered.
Thankfully, he doesn’t stay to feed you, leaving you with food alone. It’s a potato hash browns, absolutely unseasoned and cold. You almost swallow them whole from hunger, realizing how starved you are once the smell of food reaches you. After a day(?) of fasting, satiation hits you full force, drowsiness pulling at every muscle. The tableware he brought is metallic and easily bends, so you can't smash it and use sharp pieces, nor are there any utensils to weaponize. You lay down on the side, as something falls on you. It's a stone.
Your hands take it, feeling its shape - mostly smooth with one angular protrusion. It's not sharp or pointed enough for you to cut through the bindings, but with enough time and effort it can break the rope with friction alone. You begin to work, grating the rope again and again, fighting off the sleepiness.
***
Diluc nods to Adelinde, as he returns from Mondstadt after signing the contract with winesellers from Inazuma. She understands this wordless gesture, starting to talk: “The.. guest you brought has eaten, last time I checked they still were awake. I did my best to be quiet, master Diluc”.
He dismisses her, thanking for her observations and decides to go down himself. A strange sort of fascination fills him, as he turns the key in the lock, that also prompts a burning shame that he grew accustomed to in the last few days.
It’s an awful thing, to find pleasure in another’s suffering - a trait of a heartless monster, as his father once said, but despite the chagrin he still can’t help but feel a quickening of the pulse as a pained whimper escapes your lips. It’s addicting honestly, to have you of all people, naked and trembling and helpless at his total control, when you were so close to ending his life just a couple of months ago. He supposes it's a type of karmic punishment to you, a fatui harbinger, no doubt a killer and horrible person - you deserve it, he tells to himself - you deserve it for being a fatui.
Moreover, you are not only a terrible, terrible person that deserves much more gruesome torture that he allows, you are also a source of priceless information - how many lives will be saved and avenged if you just tell him what fatuis plan to do. You are a harbinger, you are bound to know something, unlike most of the fatui.
Diluc carefully glances at you as he enters - you are still sitting in the same spot he left you in, head slumped low and shoulders relaxed. It seems you are asleep. He still makes his way to you, steps slow and quiet. Your hands are bound with rope and Diluc knows how much the rough fiber pulls and chafes at skin, grating it to the blood and ropeburns - he needs to use this short respite to quickly disinfect and bandage you again.
Diluc crouches down, as you twitch and then something aims for his head, he flinches a second too slow to dodge. You nearly manage to hit him right in the temple. His head almost splits in half from the burst of pain, vision blurry and disoriented.
You quickly stand, enduring the pain from the burns and make your way to the room. Diluc runs after you, panic and anger distorting his face in equal manner - he can’t let anyone see you like that! - but you manage to lock him in using his own keys. He kicks and thrashes the door, angry at himself for not carrying claymore with him, as something loudly collides with the wall at the other side. He hears a short surprised yelp and whimper - your whimper and the too familiar footsteps descending down the stairs- Adelinde.
“Master Diluc? Is everything okay?”, the headmaid unlocks the room, concern in her voice:”I saw.. the guest running out of the basement, so I pushed them back before other maids could see”
“Everything is fine, check on the Harbinger, I still need intel”.
Turns out, you blacked out upon the impact, a small trail of blood making its way down the head. Diluc is still angry at you, head throbbing and hurting, his hands itching to hit and burn you, but he can’t allow himself to lose control: you are hurt and he doesn’t want to kill you.
In the end, it’s all predictable, Diluc muses, you are an animal first and human second, your allegiance testament to that. He was too soft, too forgiving on you and you decided to twist his kindness like a blade in the back. His head still hurts, but he finally calms, reasoning your attack as an outlash of a mindless beast.
He carries your limp body in hands, finally taking out of the basement and takes you to one of the guest rooms at the second floor of the winery - it’s a risky move, but you injured your head and in Diluc’s experiences such traumas almost always carry a great risk - maybe you will even forget who you are and there’ll be no one for Diluc to interrogate to.
Placing your body on the bed he clasps a cuff around each of your limbs and gags and blindfolds you. After a second, he asks Adelinde for cotton and stuffs your ears full of it.
Human mind stripped of all stimuli is such a dangerous thing, tearing itself apart.
***
You wake up to darkness and silence, head slightly pulsing from pain. You lie on some sort of very soft bed, silk smooth sheets consuming and hugging most of your body as you wiggle your limbs, tugging at the cuffs.
A small wave of panic washes over you, as you remain absolutely blind and deaf to the world, but you try to remain calm, unsure if Diluc is standing near or not. The bindings on your hands are made of iron now, so you soon stop, knowing it's a futile thing. The only thing you can do is wait.
You don't know how much time passes between you regaining consciousness and the air shifting around you. Having been stripped of both sight and hearing, your other senses became a bit sharper, mind focusing on them to compensate. It's a subtle change of pressure but you still feel it, it's enough for you to guess where this person stands. Suddenly hands grope at you, touching and probing the place near burns. You would scream if it wasn’t for the gag, from pain and violation alone. It's a smaller palms, judging by sensations, they change the bandages. After whoever that was finishes patching you they leave you alone, their departure evoking both relief and sadness - they were a source of stimulations, stimulations that your mind desperately needs.
You start to tug at the bindings again - this time to procure pain, just to feel something again. You are bored, you are in pain and you are scared - not the best combination. Soon, you decide to distract yourself from ever increasing boredom with memories. Images of your past life flash and change before you - here’s you playing catch and hide and seek, here’s you receiving a vision, here’s you entering fatui and climbing through the ranks, here's you receiving delusion from Tsaritsa’s own hands and here's you battling Diluc for the first time.
I should have killed him, you think, I should have spent less time talking and more time fighting, the bastard wouldn't live to see another day and I wouldn't be here.
A strange feeling of panic settles in your bones, as you try to occupy yourself, it's subtle but never ending, slowly growing with each second. You try to daydream but you can’t, not when you are cuffed and your body burns. You try to reminisce again, but you can do only so much, memories becoming dull and repetitive. Soon, the subtle panic becomes not so subtle and you realize you are gasping and thrashing, limbs achings as you rub them against the rough shackles.
You must have blacked out or drifted to sleep, because the next time you wake up you feel a bit different - a little cleaner and more sated - they tend to me, when I am unconscious you realize. Diluc wants to limit all interactions I have.
You don't know how much time you spend there in the end, but it has a profound effect on you - at first the concept of sharing fatui plans with your captor seems nonsensical and traitorous, but after a couple of days-weeks(?) of being chained to one place with limited movement and perception, it stops looking like such a bad idea to you.
Time distorts around you, you can't tell how long you were lying there, seconds turning into minutes and minutes into hours and hours into near eternities. At one point you started to cry again, scared and panicked and then you proceeded to scream.
***
Diluc comes to you again, taking out the cotton and blindfold from your person. Your eyes hurt and your head starts to ache again from the rush of noises, and you blink a couple of times to see the man before you. A strange mix of emotions washes over you - you hate Diluc, you truly despise him with every fibre of your being, yet now Diluc is the only person you have, the only person you see. It’s so confusing and overwhelming that you start to cry, unable to process any of the feelings.
Diluc looks as prim and proper as ever, as he shushes your crying and promises to let you go if only you will tell Tsaritsa’s plans. You almost believe him, Fatui secrets dancing at the tip of his mouth, yet you hold on to the pieces of your loyalty, slowly shaking your head. He asks you again, doubt and concern in his voice. It will be better if you tell me, he says, his hand still stroking you, don’t you want to walk and see again?.
His hand stops stroking you, face turning back to stone when you refuse him for the second time. He fixes blindfold and cotton again and part of you is howling - it’s scary, so scary to be left alone with nothing but your thoughts.
This time you start to break far faster, having tasted freedom for a mere second. You break down and tell Diluc everything you know next time he visits. His hand on you feels like salvation and punishment at the same time. At the end of your confession you are too empty, all of your secrets laid before him, no place for sadness or grief left inside of you. You feel whatever was inside of you was scorched off by Diluc and it left you thoroughly burnt. Dead. Made of ash.
“My name is [First]”, you wail and howl, shoulders slightly shaking as you do. You want so much to have some human contact, to hear someone call your name for once.
It’s cathartic in a way, to tell all the secrets your mind has been bustling with ever since becoming a harbinger. He doesn’t flinch or frown when you tell what exactly you witnessed or did, intently listening to each word.
He keeps his promise and uncuffs you from the bed, but you are still not allowed to leave the room, which doesn’t really disappoint you. There are books and a small barred window that opens a view to the wineyard, a feast for the starving mind. You spend at least an hour standing at the window at first, amazed that you can see people working.
He gifts you clothes and other books, assigns a housemaid to look after you, the same one that pushed you down the stairs when you were running away, she doesn’t speak to you, preferring to avoid your gaze.
Sometimes you do feel sad - you betrayed Tsaritsa, you betrayed your homeland, you lost both vision and delusion - but you quickly shove it down, unable to process feelings properly. You know you are defeated, having seen similar behavior from fatui prisoners, and Diluc knows it too, a malice and triumph and satisfaction burning on his eyes, despite the impassive face.
He sees you as a trophy, a reminder of how he reduced the great fatui harbinger to your current condition. He orders you around and punishes when you disobey, calls it reeducation, calls it teaching you how to be a decent person, calls it a punishment for your sins. A part of you wants to retort and point out his own failings, but you stop yourself at the root, unwilling to be stripped from the world again. You comply, you suppress, you break little by little. It all pleases him.
You learn to love what hurt you the most out of pure fear.
***
“First?”, it’s Diluc, shaking you slightly by the shoulders. You snap back to reality, seeing that he already carried you to bed and undressed you.
“I am here, you can continue” you whisper as he leans down to pepper your chest and collarbone with kisses, and then hiss as he bites you.
“Mhm, that’s good,” he says, warm hands traveling down to your thighs, caressing the inner side: “Could you spread them a bit?”
You obey, equally parts scared and excited.
Truly, Diluc is the best thing that happened in your life.
Note: All fatui harbinger names are taken from commedia dell'arte. Innamorati are a couple of lovers, madly in love with each other and with the idea of being in love. I thought it would be ironic.
#yandere diluc ragnvindr x reader#yandere diluc x reader#yandere genshin x reader#yandere genshin impact#Yandere genshin#Yandere diluc#yandere x reader#yandere#I am lowkey dissapointed in myself#Both reader and diluc are bad people#My sleep meds stopped working:(((#my writing
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Good morning! I hope you slept well and feel rested? Currently sitting in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day. Welcome to the working week although, for those of you working in the NHS, welcome to just another day.
Saturday was ridiculously busy and almost made impossible by public transport. As you know, I hate cars and I hate driving, so I always use trains and buses but, on Saturday, the gods conspired against me!
I finished my radio interview at justcoolradio in Brixton, walked down to the police station and got the 345 from Gresham Radio. All good. Got off at Peckham Library and I was due to catch the 436 to New Cross Gate but this 353 came along and it also said New Cross Gate, so I jumped on it! Oh my God! Big mistake! It went all around the houses to get to New Cross Gate! I was cursing and swearing out loud like that mad person who always comes to sit next to you. I do not like being late! Finally get to New Cross Gate, so I can catch the 53 down to Deptford Bridge. Trouble is: the traffic wasn’t moving, so I started walking, very briskly. Finally got to the station 30 minutes later than I would normally. I didn’t even have time to make Ginger Tony a cuppa! Anyway, the show went well!
Okay, as there was no DLR, I had to walk up to New Cross and get an Overground train to Canada Water. The Jubilee Line train was absolutely bulging! Where were all these people going? Got on my Bakerloo Line train and suddenly the driver is saying there are no trains going north of Queens Park. We were stranded! So I walked to Harrow Road and jumped on an 18 bus. Again, absolutely packed, hot and sweaty, very slow traffic but I eventually staggered home. Phew! Showered, jumped into my suit and headed to Wembley (in the car) for a wedding!
I posted a photograph of The Mighty Josiah in his beautiful wedding clothes on Friday night. When I got to the wedding, he was being dragged around the floor by his cousin. His beautiful clothes were virtually cleaning the floor! Typical eight-year-old boy, right? Once I’d eaten, I took the kids outside to play, as they were causing mayhem inside. I am the babysitter! How did that happen? I was babysitting kids I didn’t even know. Ah, well, it takes a village etc. When we eventually got home, we were all exhausted and fell asleep in front of the TV.
Sunday was another day of dramatic football games. Still nobody knows how this bloody season is going to end. My blood pressure can’t take anymore! Thankfully, the evening was pure enjoyment; great music, lovely people and a great vibe at ‘Let The Music Play’ in Stevenage. Great to see Ritamaria Boxill, Ruth Arloff and Joanne Hunter and meet, for the first time, Mary Onoufriou and Josie Mallia. Got to bed at 3.00 a.m.
Will post my Stevenage photos later. While you are enjoying your relaxing bank holiday, I will be working online, taking Zoom meetings with my students for most of the day. I shall sleep well tonight.
Many thanks to everyone that listened to the radio show live or on MixCloud. The Letter M (Pt. 9) is this Saturday at 1.00 p.m.
Have a marvellous and momentous Monday. I love you all.
#mixcloud#mi soul#dj#music#new blog#lockdown#coronavirus#books#weekend#democracy#brexit#cronyism#election#radio
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Wakey Wakey!
Good morning, lovely people of Wellington Wells! Wakey, wakey! It’s a brand-new day, and I’m your cheerful host, Uncle Jack, here to help you start it with a big, bright smile. Let’s rise and shine together, shall we?
First things first, I hope you all had a restful night and the sweetest dreams. Did you remember to take your Joy before bed? I know I did, and I’m feeling absolutely splendid this morning. A happy start leads to a happy day, after all!
Now, let’s dive into some wonderful news to get us all in high spirits. Our marvelous Garden District has been positively blooming with beautiful flowers thanks to the tireless efforts of our local gardeners. If you have the chance, take a stroll through the gardens today and soak in the beauty. It’s bound to put a spring in your step!
Speaking of getting out and about, today is the perfect day for a picnic! Pack your basket with your favorite treats, bring a cozy blanket, and head to Victory Memorial Park. It’s the ideal spot to enjoy the sunshine and share some laughter with friends and family. Don’t forget to bring your biggest smiles!
Now, a little reminder for all you lovely folks: our dear constables are here to keep us safe and happy, so be sure to greet them with a warm “Good morning!” and a cheerful wave. They do so much for our community, and a bit of kindness goes a long way.
Oh, and here’s something to look forward to! This evening, the Britannia Theatre is hosting a special screening of “The Adventures of Captain Cuddles.” It’s a delightful film filled with fun and excitement for the whole family. Make sure to get your tickets early and don’t miss out on this enchanting adventure!
As we start our day, let’s take a moment to reflect on the things we’re grateful for. Maybe it’s the lovely weather, a kind word from a friend, or simply the joy of being part of such a wonderful community. Whatever it is, hold onto that gratitude and let it guide you through the day.
Before we part, let’s do a quick morning exercise to get the blood flowing and the Joy pumping. Stand up, stretch your arms high above your head, and take a deep breath in... and out. Wonderful! Now, give yourself a big hug and smile wide. There you go, feeling better already!
Well, I'm Afraid we've come to the end of our time. Remember to keep smiling, stay cheerful, and take your Joy. This is Uncle Jack, wishing you all a fantastic day filled with happiness and wonder. Wakey wakey, Wellington Wells, and have a jolly good day!
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Forbidden
Chapter 3
A/N- Evey couple of chapters you will get Professor Hemsworth's POV and this is the first one 🥵 I really wanted to write his story and hear his thoughts too.
Summary- He can't get her out of his mind, the girl in the coffee shop. Will fate bring them together again?
Word count- 2.9K
Pairing- Prof!Hems X Reader
Warnings- Age gap (OC is 20) student/professor relationship, swearing, dirty talk
18+ Only!
Disclaimer: This is an entire work of fiction/AU and has no affiliation to real life what so ever! This is a fictional story about fictional characters who happen to share names and faces with some real people.
Posted: 5th Sept 2021
Taglist:- @innerpaperexpertcloud @pandaxnienke @chickensarentcheap @jjpogueprincess @longlostinanotherworld @mostly-marvel-musings @darklydeliciousdesires @monet-belle @help2700 @presidentpotts
Chapter 1 Chapter 2
Chris Pov
My Apartment was silent as usual, empty like always when I arrived home from work, throwing my coat and bag on to the sofa and slumping down next to them.
I couldn't stand the silence, it taunted me and brought back memories I'd rather not remember. I'd thought about getting a roommate but still hadn't gotten around to posting out an ad, the idea made me nervous. Although I hated being alone, living with a stranger would be even worse. I turned on the TV to fill the expanse of the large empty room that I'd work so hard for but ultimately meant absolutely nothing to me.
My mind began to wander back to this morning and the chance meeting with the most beautiful woman I'd ever laid eyes on. She'd taken my breath away and made me so nervous that I'd used some cheesy chat up line. I'd known at the time it would come back to haunt me tonight, no wonder she ran out of there as soon as she could. Thats why I hesitated, my hand brushed against the small of her back when I was about to ask her for her number and it took away my sensibility. I leaned in like I was about to kiss her, thank god I stopped myself though, how ridiculous would that have been?
I'd spoke to her for no more than ten minutes but somehow felt like I'd known her all my life. Asking for her number wouldn't have been the most unusual thing but she was in such a rush and I didn't want to make her late. There's absolutely nothing more I hate than tardiness.
I still couldn't get her off of my mind, she was beautiful, long dark hair that flowed down her back and the most piercing green eyes I'd ever seen. I couldn't stop looking into them, framed by dark eyelashes that made the emerald green pop even more. It's been a long time since I'd met a woman that made me feel as nervous as she did. The only thing is, she was young, much younger than me and I'd be fooling myself to think I'd actually stand a chance with her. Even if by some miracle I did, she deserved more than what I could give her, I was a mess, even after all this time I was still living in the past.
**********
I woke up feeling like a teenage boy again, a tent of my erection in the cotton sheets sprawled across my middle. I'd dreamt about the girl all night and honestly nothing about it was innocent. I rubbed at my eyes and stretched my muscles before finally getting out of bed, I had my first Junior Comms class to teach today and of course, I couldn't be late.
To say I was dreading today would be an understatement, I'd made a deal with the Dean to teach the Comms class because none of the other professors were willing and I was desperate for a job. I was hoping that if I exceeded expectations during my first semester I would finally get to teach psychology like I'd planned in the first place. Of course that meant being on my best behaviour and a lot of arse kissing, which I would do, albeit reluctantly.
The air was crisp this morning as I set off walking towards the university, luckily for me I didn't live to far away from the campus and the walk would help distract my thoughts because God knows they needed distracting. They always did.
Before I knew it, I'd arrived at the halls, looking up at the architecture of the building and realising my idea to walk obviously hadn't worked. I'd barely paid attention the entire time and it was only muscle memory that had gotten me to my required destination.
I held onto the door handle of the lecture hall and took a deep breath before stepping in, the room erupting into wolf whistles was not what I expected but admittedly better than what I was thinking. I scanned the room and my students, rolling my eyes at the girls lining the front row, their eager faces taking me in.
The class was full of typical students, the usual cliques you see at every educational institution. The jocks and cheerleaders, the nerds and oh fuck. The air was almost knocked from my lungs when I spotted her sat at the back of class. The girl I'd been talking to in the coffee shop yesterday, the girl that had been on my mind and in my dreams ever since. She was here, right in front of me which meant she was my student and younger than I'd actually thought. Fuck.
Even though she was now out of bounds I couldn't take my goddamn eyes off of her, the way her wavy hair cascaded over her shoulders. I could feel my cock tingling when my eyes fell to her low cut top and that unreal cleavage. I pulled my eyes away from her so as not to draw attention and focused on preparing for the lesson, leaving the students to whisper for a while longer while I recovered my composure.
Like a magnet, my eyes unwillingly kept finding their way back to her and she looked uncomfortable, squirming in her seat. I was making her uncomfortable and I still couldn't stop myself, I frowned as I subtly watched her cheeks blush and realised she's probably embarrassed because she'd been flirting with her Professor. Of course she'd be embarrassed, I was so much older than her but was it wrong that I didn't feel one ounce of awkwardness at the fact I had been flirting with a student?
All I could think about as I watched her tits bounce as she moved In her seat, was burying my face in her cleavage and I knew I had to look away before my dick reacted. The last thing I needed in a class full of students was to be walking around with a fucking erection.
I could stand there and watch her all day but certain students had stopped talking and they were waiting for me to speak and I'd almost forgotten why I was here In the first place. I really needed to get my head in the game, being infatuated with a student would definitely not get me the promotion I was looking for.
I pushed my hands in my tight pockets, hoping to stretch the fabric a little so my semi-hard dick wasn't so apparent, then my eyes were drawn to her again and she was talking to Jake. That pissed me off and I could feel my jaw tensing as I cleared my throat rather forcibly, hoping to get the attention of the whole class at the same time as distracting her from the rather friendly conversation she was having with another guy. A guy her age at that.
"Now I've got your attention, we're going to use our first session to get to know each other a little better. You'll be doing quite a lot of speeches so it's best if you feel comfortable with one another. I'll start by introducing myself." I looked at her again, gulping hard when I saw her with the end of her pen in her mouth and the way her lips wrapped around it. Fuck. "So, I'm Professor Hemsworth and I'm originally from Melbourne in Australia." I looked to her and she smiled, remembering what we spoke about yesterday.
A student started with the typical Australian stereotypes although I'm actually surprised no one told me to throw another shrimp on the Barbie. I laughed along anyway, I'd been expecting it, it's literally the first thing anyone who isn't Australian says when they first meet me. So when I told him it wasn't very original I meant it, I'd heard it a thousand times before and I'll hear it a thousand times again.
I told the class a little about myself before informing them they would do the same, it didn't go down well, the room filled with groans. I looked to her and she looked downright terrified, I sympathized for her, it wasn't easy speaking in front of a room full of people but was the best way to break the ice.
"Claire Abbott." I called, watching the blonde at the front stand, nervously. She giggled and twirled her hair around her finger as she smiled at me, I knew what she was doing. I quickly glanced at the girl from the coffee shop as she rolled her eyes at the blonde at the front, I smirked back at her, amused at her tolerance for predictable girls.
"I erm… I don't know what to say?" The blonde said, looking at me questioningly.
"Just anything about yourself that we might find interesting, the first thing that comes to mind."
"Well I own four horses and I'm the cheer captain." I had to stop myself from laughing when she rolled her eyes again but the smile soon disappeared when I saw Jake lean over to speak to her and the way she laughed at him made my blood boil. I was seething, not because they were speaking instead of listening but because she was speaking to him instead of me.
"You two at the back, we'll wait for you shall we?" I called them out, my voice more stern than I expected. I was pissed off that Jake would easily be able to get to know her and I couldn't. She stared at me, her eyes wide, she was surprised I'd called them out in front of everyone which made me even more pissed off because that probably blew my chances even more. What the hell am I thinking? What chances, I need to remember I'm her fucking Professor.
She sat silently through the rest of the class, I still couldn't keep my eyes off of her and thankfully neither could she. She looked flustered and I liked it, I liked that I could make her feel that way without even touching her. She was so goddamn hot I could hardly concentrate on what the other students were saying.
When I glanced down at the sheet of names in front of me and saw Jake's name my jaw clenched.
"Jake Hudson." I couldn't help narrowing my eyes as he stood up, I just knew he'd say something cocky and I was so fucking jealous of him right now. I closed my eyes for a second and took a deep breath, I needed to keep my cool, especially in a room full of students and her. If she knew what I was really like she wouldn't look at me the way she did.
"Hi, I'm Jake." I bit onto the inside of my gum, that bit of pain keeping me grounded. "I'm also from Australia." He gave me that fucking cocky half arsed smile I'd been waiting for and the adrenaline shot through me. I was thankful no one noticed apart from maybe the one person in here I didn't want to notice. She was watching me carefully. I had to loosen my tie a little as he continued to speak, I was burning up with rage.
I'm glad class was almost over, I needed a stiff drink and I needed it now. I looked at my sheet of names again and there were only a couple left, I wondered which one was hers. I needed to know her name. Fuck. I needed to know everything about her.
"Jessica Watson." She stood up. Fuck, Jessica, it was a cute name and fit her perfectly. I was mesmerized with her and the way she spoke as she tucked her long hair behind her ears. "These last couple of days have been pretty eventful for me." She looked right at me, what was she going to say? "I'm living the life of a romance novels heroine and I'm excited to see what the next couple of days bring." Oh fuck. Was she talking about meeting me? Or Jake? I like to think by the way she studied me as she spoke, she was talking about me. This was wrong, so wrong but why did it feel so right? I forgot there was anybody else in the room, my cock twinging as I pictured myself fucking her on this desk. I needed to stop thinking like this, it's unprofessional and completely immoral. I shook my head and turned back to the class.
"I hope we all feel a bit more comfortable with each other now, some of you shared some pretty revealing things." I looked at Jessica. "Some of you, not so much." Then raised my eyebrows at a group of guys in the middle of class that had used thier time to inform everyone about the party at their frat house this weekend. "I'll have a schedule for you all next time I see you, anybody that has any questions can see me after class, everyone else is free to leave." I looked at her one last time, hoping she'd use this opportunity to come and speak to me.
I sighed when I sat back at my desk and a group of girls took their opportunity, I wasn't in the mood for it but answered their questions anyway. I didn't take my eyes from Jessica, especially when Jake started speaking to her again. The girls in front of me were taking up my time, trying to flirt with me instead of asking relevant questions and I was over it.
"Do you actually have any questions about the course ladies? I have other things to be getting on with if not." I was a little short with them without actually meaning to be. I just wanted them out of my goddamn way so I could see what was going on with Jessica and Jake.
The girls finally left, more like stormed off but I couldn't care less right now. She was still sat at her desk which means she waited until I was alone which has got to be a good sign. We stared at each other for what felt like an eternity, the silence driving me insane so I cleared my throat and she blinked like I'd woken her from a daydream. What was she thinking about?
She packed up her things into her bag slowly, I could tell she was buying herself time but I felt relaxed now we were alone, in fact I felt excited which was completely ridiculous. I felt like a damn teenager.
"Did you need to talk Miss Watson?" I was amused and I needed to break the ice before the silence got the better of me. I leaned back in my chair and folded my arms across my chest.
"I erm…" She walked towards me, down the stairs, looking at her feet. She was unsteady and looked nervous as hell, was she going to tell me to back off? "I wanted to apologise, I had no idea you were a Professor." She stood at the bottom of the stairs, I was glad she wasn't too close. I don't know if I'd be able to control myself around her and lord knows I had to. The atmosphere was tense, neither of us really knowing what to say or do, all I could think about was ripping off her clothes.
"There's no need to apologise Miss Watson, I also had no idea you were a student but I was hoping to bump into you again. Funny how things work out isn't it?" I cocked my eyebrow at her, testing her, seeing how she would react to my comment. Something changed and she didn't look quite so nervous anymore.
"I think fate can be rather cruel Professor Hemsworth." The way she called me Professor stirred something deep inside me, a hunger I didn't know I had and when she moved closer to me I began to feel nervous.
"Oh really? Why is that Miss Watson?" She was so close now, I could smell her sweet scent of coconut shampoo. I wanted to touch her badly, I didn't though. I didn't dare because I knew if I did I wouldn't be able to stop myself and I must restrain, she's my student after all. It's wrong. It's forbidden.
I still couldn't stop myself from flirting, like an uncontrollable impulse and as soon as I opened my mouth to try and be professional I would just go right ahead and flirt. She was so outrageously attractive but the kind of attractive where she didn't know it and didn't flaunt it, which I found even more endearing.
"I was hoping to bump into you again too, only now the thought of what could've happened will have to remain a fantasy." My restraint was really being tested now, she was teasing me, egging me on and the fact she'd also been fantasising about me made it extra difficult to resist. I had to loosen my tie again, I needed my fingers to be busy so I didn't touch her. I had an internal conflict going on inside my mind and it was like torture, if this was day one of class how the hell was I meant to survive the whole semester?
"I better get to my next class, we can't have anyone thinking I'm your favourite now can we?" Fuck sake. I ground my teeth together, I was glad she was leaving, I couldn't take the tension any longer but at the same time I knew, with distance the desire would only intensify. She turned to leave and I couldn't stop myself watching her hips sway as she walked, her ass was so round and bouncy, it hypnotised me and that's when I knew I was in deep trouble.
#smut#chris hemsworth#chris hemsworth fanfic#chris hemsworth smut#chris hemsworth x reader#chris hemsworth x you#chris hems x oc#chris hems x you#chris hemsworth thor#chris hemsworth x ofc#chris hemsworth x oc#chris hemsworth imagine#professor#professor x#professor x student
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George Weasley — 5th December
Summary: You read him a poem as he laid on your chest, loving the sound of your voice.
Words: 1,870 words
Warnings: Major Fluff, I Blushed So Hard so You Shall Too, George Weasley Supremacy 2.0, Makes You Wish You Can Shift Sooner So You Could Have This Moment With Him, So Floofy It Hurts Physically
Disclaimer: S i g h. I am just so in love with this man. The way I blushed so hard through this entire thing is obvious enough I will never love someone as much as I love this 6′3 ginger dork. Ooh, also the poem is mine, I wrote it thinking of George fdhfhjks I’m actually so so nervous to show you guys my poem so I really hope you enjoy it!
“Hey, flower,” George greeted you as soon as he walked in your dorm, seeing you leaning against your headboard, scribbling onto your notebook. He hadn’t seen you at all today, and your friends had told him you had called in sick, so right after dinner, he snuck some leftover food and went straight to your dorm.
“Hello, mysterious handsome man,” You teased and laughed at him narrowing his eyes playfully at you. “How’s your fever, love?” He asked as he walked closer, giving you a sweet forehead kiss. You closed your eyes at the feeling of his lips on your skin, sighing in content, “Much better since Madam Pomfrey gave me some potions to drink. They were ghastly, to be honest.”
George chuckled at your fake vomiting, slightly relieved that you were still his same, silly flower.
He sat at the edge of the bed, right beside you as he held a tray of leftover food he had picked out, there were cauldron cakes, chocolate frogs, gummy worms, and a bowl of mushroom soup, which when you saw the thick creamy food you gasped, “They had mushroom soup today?!”
The next couple of hours were spent with you and him eating together in bed, you listening to his day today, Fred and Lee had tried to convince him to put some explosive powder into your mushroom soup earlier—you gasped in mock offense—luckily he said no, not wanting to be accidentally murdered in his bed at midnight—you nodded in agreement, he laughed—and the two friends wished you well.
You instantly snatched the bowl and groaned at the taste of the soup on your tongue. George chuckled, “Yeah, reckon you would like a bowl of ‘em in bed.”
“You’re kidding? I would love to have it in bed, blimey you’re the best boyfriend ever, thank you, Georgie.” You gushed as you gave him a big wet kiss on his cheek, which he laughed loudly at.
And you told him about yours, about how ghastly this morning was that you had woken up in cold sweats and practically had to crawl out of your bed to call your friend for help—he was frowning so hard—and Madam Pomfrey had visited you twice during the day, giving you some potions and brought you some food to regain your energy—George planned to surprise Madam Pomfrey with sweets the next day as a thank you—and you spent the rest of your day writing.
“What were you writing? Another poem?” George asked, he had known you had a passion for writing ever since you were little. It doesn’t matter what kind of writing it was, you do everything. From poetry to short stories to even some of Hogwart’s news articles, you love everything there is about writing. Even songwriting, George had to close his mouth manually when he found out you could actually compose songs and sing, he thought he’s had enough reasons to love you as it is when turns out there are more and he’s more pleased to discover all of them over time with you.
“You’re right, actually. I missed you a lot today, so I wrote it for you,” You said with a small smile, eyes tearing away from George shyly.
George had sworn his heart stopped beating for like 5 seconds.
“For me? Really?” He whispered in awe, his smile widening at your blushing cheeks. George was absolutely sure his face was the same hue as his hair at the moment, but his heart was leaping in too much joy to actually care. Seeing you before him trying to hide your heavy blush and trying so hard to contain a big grin with your teeth on your bottom lip had his whole knees weak. You looked mad adorable and all George wished to do at the moment was shrink you into pocket-sized and keep you in his pocket forever.
“I-I mean, no one has written me poems before…” He trailed off, his hand brushing the nape of his neck, feeling extremely giddy and extremely happy. He was usually the one who made you this way, blushing and stuttering, but when it’s your turn, he almost died out of heart attack each time.
“Well, you’re going to be surprised when I tell you that every love poem I’ve written, I thought of you.” You said, rolling your eyes playfully at his widened eyes, flushed cheeks, with a giddy grin on his lips.
There it is; the heart attack.
“Well I would love to hear you read it for me—excuse me, madam, coming through,” He said, shuffling on the bed closer to you, laying between your legs, his back on your chest and his head on your shoulder perfectly; as if your body was molded solely to hold him this way, and George wouldn’t agree more. You laughed as he finally leaned onto you, sighing in content as he did. You pulled the blanket so it could drape the both of you perfectly, and you leaned your cheek to his forehead.
“Alright, but warning, it’s very very mushy,” You warned, and he smiled a bit wider, “All the more reasons to read it then.”
You reached the leather brown notebook at your other side, flipping the page easily to where you want it due to the lilac feather quill resting between the tea-colored pages, acting as a bookmark.
Your arm beside George rested on his head, massaging his scalp gently as he liked it. George hummed in content as he leaned onto your neck, feeling very comfortable. The warmth from your body behind him and the heavy blanket draped across you both felt so comfortable that he didn’t want to move, ever.
“This is the first poem, I call it 5th December,” You said, and George opened his eyes, “Why 5th December? Isn’t that like, 10 days ago?” You chuckled, “Yeah, I first wrote it then, but I finished it today.” George hummed in understanding, “Go on then.”
“I’m not very good at reciting poems, so excuse me if it doesn’t sound right.” You said and George dramatically sighed, “You’re stalling, love. And even if you say it most horribly, I’ll still love it because you wrote it.”
“Aww, Georgie,” You cooed, kissing his forehead causing him to crack a smile. “Okay, okay, here it goes.” You said and George had his eyes on the notebook you’re holding, scribbles of black lines and paragraphs filled every page.
“Awh, darling.” George cooed and kissed your cheek, causing you to stifle a giggle before going back into reciting mode.
“If you ask what my birthday wish was,
I simply could not tell you because
I don’t wanna say it’s wanting you with me laying down the grass
Together at night with the company of the stars.”
As you read the words, George found himself getting flutters in his stomach. He was so focused now, wanting to hear more of your voice and this poem combined, because to him, there is no such beauty that could compare. All that matters to him as of that moment, was you.
“If you ask what my falling star wish was
I shall simply shake my head just because
It’s hard to describe wanting you by my side each and every night
Taking your hand in mine and waking up with you next in line.”
You looked at him, and George was already looking at you with full adoration. He looked so mesmerized and amazed, you smiled at this; how adorable. You closed the notebook, you had already memorized every line as you had read it over and over for the past day, getting butterflies in your heart as you thought of George every time. With your eyes on him, your soft voice recited the poem again.
“If you ask what my new year’s wishlist was
I would simply put my lips together because
I couldn’t tell you it’s wanting to travel the world with you
And just try together everything new and spend time with you.”
George was in a trance. The beautiful words you crafted together were meant just for him. The poem you shared with him was because of you thinking about him. At that moment, George had thought of something he never would’ve thought during his past relationships.
“If you ask what my clover wish was
I would just laugh and tell you no because
I wish to touch every inch of you every second with all my will
For your lips against mine, I shall need no happy pill.”
He wanted to spend his entire life with you, and no one else but you. He wanted to live with you, to be with you during thick and thin. Because… Because he loves you.
As you finished it, you gave him a gentle smile. There was a silent moment from the both of you, the only sound was the raindrops outside the window, the rhythmic splatter of water was therapeutic, to say the least.
“And if you ask, why won’t you tell me anything of you wished for
Let’s talk about it over a nice cup of tea just brewed
I shall say with the love in my eyes a secret till forevermore
That if I simply say it to you, then none of them would come true.”
You took your time to look at George’s face. Sometimes you had marveled at the fact that you could get this ridiculously beautiful man to be yours, to like you for who you are, to accept each and every quirk you have without any feeling of annoyance or disgust by them.
This ridiculously beautiful man, with lush and soft ginger hair, light colored long eyelashes, the stunning color of brown for eyes, and peach-hued freckles decorating his face like footsteps of an elegant ballerina on stage.
“I am so lucky,” Was all George could breathe out as he leaned upwards, engulfing you into a passionate kiss. George loved every single moment when he kisses you, your lips are nicotine at its best, and he would drop everything to be an addict, an slave for you; for thousands of eternities if he could.
His hands had found the back of your neck, pulling it closer to his direction, deepening the kiss. You closed your eyes to relish the moment, your hands already found their place at each side of his jawline, hungrily pulling him closer to you.
When you pulled away, your lips were ghosting each other, his hard breaths hit your swollen lips softly. “What exactly are you lucky for, Weasley?” You breathed out, still panting softly, the smile on your lips grew as it mirrored the lovestruck smile on his lips.
He kissed your nose, and the rosy cheeks returned, “For you, for the poem, for you reading the poem, for you writing the poem while thinking of me,” You giggled and he joined with a chuckle, a soft smile on his face, “For everything. I love you, my flower.”
“I love you too,” you bit your lips, trying your hardest to contain a smile, “If this is what I get after reading you a poem then do you wanna hear the second one?” George laughed loudly; happy and content just being there with you.
TAGLIST:
“Oh, absolutely.”
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