#hope you dont mind op

[oatsmilk]

more of his work because im obsessed

and his website and instagram

Glen Martin Taylor, “but i am safe in here.”

[casualavocados]

I know you don't like my guts. You wouldn't want to help if I asked you a favor. But the music club is looking for a solo guitarist. And you're stopping me from joining. Right. Wait—no!

Tinn and Sound's "rivalry" in MY SCHOOL PRESIDENT (insp)

[love-dies-bleeding]

i was talking to Henry, and he asked "do you like what you see?" and my dumbass thought he was trying to flirt with me, so out of the "[LOYAL] Yes" and "[DISGUSTED] No" i picked loyal, cuz id been friendly with henry so i thought that flirting back wasnt too weird to consider "loyal". but then turns out he meant "do you like the work the syndicate is doing?" which was real awkward.

—@tears-of-boredom, 2024

[shrimpblaster]

Had a fever dream last night that @onenicebugperday posted a list of top ten caterpillars, except that every single entry on the list was the same caterpillar and had a wildly varying description of the same little guy. Some of them were a bit mean, while some were very positive and loving.

[jamsofdeath0]

Fenton makes eye contact with Damian before a determined expression crosses his face. A nearly unnatural wail yells from his rather small frame. "PEDO! PEDOPHILE! KIDNAPPER! HELP!"

Every one starts to crowd Masters and Fenton. Damian does not stray. If he's read this situation correctly Fenton will be coming to him. He's not sure what he's done to make Fenton trust him to help him escape what is obviously long term abuse. He assumes the poking game was some sort of test. Damian had however failed. Masters was obviously the only target that mattered and Damian failed to "stab" him. Whatever it was that has made Fenton place his in Damian he will not fail.

Damian is proven correct in his assumption as Fenton sprints at him the moment the crown lets him. Damian has the hand it to the boy he's made an impeccable distraction for all the adults. Fenton does not slow as he grabs Damian's wrist and pulls him along.

Damian has already started forming plans on how to make Fenton disappear, legally or otherwise but just to be certain he asks "What are we doing?"

"Running away; you're helping" Danny informs.

Again as expected the question is does Fenton have a plan "How?"

"See I knew you'd get it. You got knives right? You stab me as the kinda guy to have knives."

Turning a corner Damian smoothly passes Fenton a knife. He's decided he trusts Fenton's judgement.

"Sick, now I gotta cut out two trackers" Fenton states slicing open his side without flinching. He digs his fingers in the cut and yanks out a small object; crushing it. It's both impressive and angering. They stop. Odd as Fenton didn't even stop while slicing himself open.

Fenton turns to him and states "Imma need your help with the next part. See the second trackers in my ankle. I won't be able to walk after."

Damian is furious. It's such a simple yet devious plan. The only way for Fenton to escape is to cripple himself. Even if he cuts the tracker out he'll be too injured to run. Damian pulls out a second knife.

"Wow y'know I knew you'd have knives, but it's wild I can't tell where you're keeping em. Or even how many you have. Welp here we go. Cut here; NOT too deep." Fenton's clearly losing his composure. Damian will not blame him. He's been quite well so far.

Damian gently pulls Fenton to the ground kneeling beside him. He places the blade to the lateral malleolus. Fenton nods, bites his hand and shuts his eyes. Damian takes his queue and cuts Fenton open. Tracker B is not as deep. Logical if you do not wish to damage the person you are tracking. It almost makes Damian feel better. Damian wraps his wound and states "It is done."

"Thanks" Fenton grits. "Alright, Alright. Look fireman carry me outta here? Is your place good or do I need a find a place?

Damian thinks for a moment. Father would be more than willing to help Fenton. He answers as he picks him up. "Yes, my place is sufficient".

"Cool cool. Gods I hope you're okay with non-humans or this is about to get real awkward. Run straight through every wall you see till we're outta the building, K?"

A tingly feeling overcomes Damian and he does just that. Damian cannot say he had pegged Fenton as inhuman. He thinks this case has just gotten much more complicated then rich pedophile. He's not sure if this is worse or better.

"Nice, we can't use any more of my powers now that we're out. Vlad'll be able to track em. Just take me to your place as fast as possible, maybe?"

"Understood. Is it alright for me to call a ride?" It would be much easier to call Pennyworth but he does not wish to frighten Fenton.

"Ya do what ever, I've already put my neck on the line might as well go all the way. All or nothing y'know."

"Understood, do the cameras need to be wiped?" he asks. Texting Pennyworth for pick up.

"hmm, naw they'll probably help. Or Vlad'll wipe em. He's like me, powers that is. He doesn't want people to know. Cameras will slow him but they'll only help me. Evidence and all that."

That makes things more complicated. Fighting inhumans is always more annoying. It's interesting that Fenton doesn't care if he's outed as super.

"I see, Pennyworth will be here in four minutes. I informed him it was urgent."

"Cool thanks. Don't try to stab Vlad. He'll just turn intangible. I think I'm gonna pass out now."

Fenton does in fact pass out. Damian wonders if it's from pain, blood loss, or shock.

Practice Your Skills

“You ever look at someone and wonder how hard it would be to get past their defenses and stab them?”

Damian snapped his head to the side, looking at the young boy now standing beside him.

The boy put his hands up in front of him with a wince, “Not that I ever do that. Totally not, whaaaat???”

Damian huffed and turned back around to watch the gala participants.

“It’s just you kinda looked like you were contemplating the logistics of stabbing Mrs.Halterguild for squeezing your cheeks.”

Damian scowled. Then, after a moment’s beat, “It would not be very difficult. She is nearly blind in her left eye, I would be able to approach without repost.”

The kid hummed, turning back as well before motioning to another group to the far right, “What about Mr. Beckensmith, he’s a retired vet right?”

Damian rolled his eyes and scowled harder, “The man has only seen the battlefield of an office as he bribed his way from being fully enlisted and instead managed to pay for increasingly higher ranks and medals. He is a disgrace.”

The kid cocked his head to the side, looking suspicious for a second and then nodding with concession, “Fair enough, I bet I could get close enough too.”

Damian scoffed.

“What, don’t believe me?”

Damian leveled a doubtful glare at the civilian, making it clear by looking him up and down, “Hardly.”

The other smirked dangerously, “If I can get close enough to poke him and get away without being noticed, will you believe me?”

Damian narrowed his eyes but nodded succinctly and watched as the boy immediately took off, making a few loops around other people before finally backing up to Mr. Beckensmith and poking him on the opposite side as a group moved past.

Damian pursed his lips. Interesting. Certainly better than he would expect from an amateur. And an amateur civilian at that.

When the boy returns to his side Damian brushes off the asks of meaningless praise.

“Come on, I did it, now you have to go poke Mrs. Halterguild without getting caught.”

Damian sneers, “And why would I do that?”

“Because I don’t believe you either, the woman’s old but I bet she sees you and squeezes your cheeks again. Old ladies just have a sixth sense for that stuff you know.”

Damian nearly growls but sets off on his task. He makes sure to stay on her left side, but the woman turns at the last second, forcing Damian to use a passing waiter as cover to remain hidden and finally get close enough to poke her gaudy dress.

Then he sidles back up to the boy on the edges and provides his best ‘I am more capable than you’ scowl. The boy simply laughs and says, “Who’s next?”

They spend the night like that, choosing each other’s targets to attack non-lethally as though they were attempting to stab them, and Damian finds the gala going by in a significantly less tedious manner.

Right up until the boy laughs at him when he chooses a target. Only one bark of laughter escapes, but it is enough for Damian to consider stabbing him as well. If only with a butter knife.

Instead, Damian grinds his teeth and asks, “What is so different about Masters, do you really believe you would be unable to succeed?”

The other gives a breathless chuckle, “I’m pretty sure even you wouldn’t be able to successfully stab Vlad Masters,” The boy’s shoulders sag even as his jaw tightens with irritation, “He sees everything.”

Damian narrows his eyes. Something naws at the back of his brain but currently the critique of his capabilities takes precedence.

“I would be capable of stabbing Masters even without my favored sword,” Damian scowls and stands taller with annoyance.

“Sure you can, man,” At this, the boy quirks a sharp smile, “If you can actually get him, I’ll personally get you a magic sword,” he says with an air of amused indulgence. Like he thinks Damian is some insipid child saying he will find a fairy.

Damian grits his teeth and shakes the other’s hand, then immediately sets off after his target. How dare this civilian question him! He is the Son of the Bat, this is not even a challenge!

Damian growls as his approach is thwarted for the third time by the man turning in his direction and almost spotting him. How dare he! He will not fail!

Just as he reaches to jab the man in the side, already poised to make his escape, Masters whips around and clamps his fingers around Damian’s wrist with a vice grip.

“Really Daniel I thought we were over-“ Masters pauses, looking at Damian critically as he glares at the man’s offending hand, “You are not young Daniel.”

“Remove your hand from my person at once,” Damian growls.

Instead of listening to Damian’s very sensible directions, Masters tightens his grip and twists his arm, most likely in an attempt to hurt him.

“Now why is a child attempting to-“

Damian doesn’t wait to hear the rest of the man’s words, sliding a dagger into his other hand and swinging towards him, until that hand is caught mid-movement as well.

“Heh-Hey there!”

Damian snaps his head to the side just in time to see Grayson take his dagger and slide it into his pocket. He ignores the bark of laughter he hears from across the room.

Masters’ hand disappears from his arm suspiciously fast, “Mr. Wayne, what a pleasure!”

Damian looks over his other shoulder to see his father standing behind him, a thin smile on his face, “Vladimir!”

His father’s figure quickly obscures his vision, putting an arm over Masters’ shoulders in a way that clearly makes him irritated but forces him to follow as he is steered away.

“Dami, I thought we talked about the stabbing at formal events,” Grayson says through a strained smile as he looks over the crowd to make sure no else saw.

“Tt, it was merely a demonstration of my skills, he was in no real danger until he refused to release me. I simply sought to correct that mistake.”

Grayson pinchesthe bridge of his nose, “Demonstration for who, Dames? We all already know your skills.”

“Tt,” Damian scowls and turns away.

Instead of pushing it, Grayson simply sighs heavily, “Just stay out of trouble for the rest of the gala okay? We’re almost done.”

Damian scoffed and waited for Grayson to leave. Once he does, Damian finally looks over to where he had been lingering with the boy.

Gone.

Clearly he’d taken the cowards way out when he’d seen that Damian had been accosted by Masters.

Pitiful.

Damian spends the rest of the night scowling from the wall and looking serendipitously for a head of black hair and blue eyes unrelated to him.

Of course it’s not until they are actively leaving that Damian sees him and immediately splits off of from his family.

He approaches with irritation, preparing to grab the other by the shoulder when suddenly he turns around and blue eyes meet Damian’s green.

“You,” Damian sneers.

“Me,” The other shrugs. He has an amused smile on his face, though it’s strained at the edges.

They stare in silence for a minute, before the other’s smile grows and sharpens once more, “I didn’t expect you to actually try to stab him, y’know,” A slight laugh escapes him, “Not that it was unwelcome by any means, but still, unexpected.”

Damian scowls again, glaring at this foolish civilian.

“Oh, I never introduced myself did I?!”

The boy exclaims and holds out a hand, smile dangerous, “Daniel Fenton. Or if we’re being technical,” a pause as Damian finally returns the gesture and finds his hand trapped, “Daniel Masters, a pleasure to meet you Damian.”

“Hurry up little badger,” A voice says beside them, and Damian notices that it is indeed Vladimir Masters.

The man approaches, placing a heavy hand on Fenton’s shoulder, making the boy go taut, and then they both step into a dark car, leaving Damian on the front steps.

Damian’s anger flares and he shoots a glare directly to the boy getting into the car. It dies the moment they meet eyes and Damian sees the fear hiding in the other’s eyes.

Fear that Damian is all too familiar with.

Fear that reminded Damian of himself. Reminded him of his own eyes when he’d been under his grandfather.

But why did Fenton look like that?

[bluehairedspidey]

I'm curious how geographic identity in the US compares to geographic identity in the rest of the world so...

Please feel free to elaborate in the tags, especially if you select other! (some examples of other options include: your continent, multiple locations equally, or no location at all)

[ireallyamabear]

gif by @lavandorhaze

they're the same picture

[sealbf]

Transcript:

Today we're making ka'ak al-quds, it's a fluffy ring-shaped bread with a sesame seed crust and it's a very famous street food, it's a staple among Palestinians and it has a long history in Jerusalem so I'm very excited to share the recipe with you guys.

We're gonna begin by mixing together our yeast mixture so our wrm water, active dry yeast and sugar. We're going to let that rest for 10 minutes and in the same large bowl we're going to add the rest of our dough ingredients. Begin mixing your dough together with your hands or stand mixer whichever you prefer. If your dough feels a bit dry gradually add anywhere from a quater cup to a half cup of warm water; I personally only needed a quater cup of water because you do want your dough to be a bit sticky.

Once your dough comes together in the bowl you're going to remove it and start to knead it on a clean surface with a little bit of olive oil for 10 to 15 minutes until smooth, and you can also oil your hands as well. Once your dough is nice and smooth we're going to add it back into our bowl and let it rest for an hour and a half or until our dough has doubled in size, then we're going to release any air from our dough once it has risen and we're going to separate it into 12 dough balls.

Let the dough balls rest for another 10 minutes on a floured surface, and then we're going to begin shaping our dough by gradually stretching it into a ring shape, similar to the process I've shown in the past how to shape a bagel. Here I mix together the water mixture but I normally prefer to do this with milk, I just didn't have any, just know that you can do either-or.

You're going to brush your mixture onto your dough and you're going to dip it into your sesame seeds - toasted or untoasted, whichever you prefer - and we're going to add it to our prepared baking sheet and let it rest again for another 10 to 15 minutes. Bake your bread at 400 degrees farenheit for 15 minutes and you're done.

You can use it to dip into olive oil ot za'atar or use it to make a sandwich with fresh cheese and olives, whichever you prefer, there are so many ways to eat it and I hope you guys enjoy.

Ka’ak Al-Quds Bread (click link for recipe)

INGREDIENTS

Yeast mixture:

2 cups Warm water

1 tbsp Active dry yeast

1 tbsp Sugar

Rest of dough ingredients:

5 1/2 cups All-purpose flour

1 tbsp Salt

1 tsp Baking powder

1/4 cup Olive oil

3 tbsp Powdered milk

1/4 – 1/2 cup Water if you feel like your dough is a bit dry, start with adding an extra 1/4 cup of water and go from there. The factors of where you live (the climate/altitude plays a big part in most bread recipes)

Topping:

1 cup Water

1 tbsp Pomegranate molasses

1 tbsp Honey

8 oz Sesame seeds

[angelcasendgame]

people will watch the dean winchester is the most specialest boy in the world show and get mad when dean winchester is being the most specialest boy in the world (x)

[underlust-but-like-acearo]

Yeah, I don't want to make it a big thing but like.. Aside from the obvious things that were wrong with Underlust, as someone on the acearo spectrum and a nonbinary indivual, I do wanna point out the sort of general queerphobia that's attached to Underlust? Obviously there's more nuance to be had, but here's just some things I've been sitting on for a while.

The biggest thing in my mind was definitely the issue of how morality and sexuality were handled, because this has just always been something so glaringly obvious to me. All the quote on quote "good" characters are less sexual or not sexual at all, and the "bad" characters are overly sexual. Blah blah blah it's not up to the author to tell you what is good and what is bad, be critical... But it has always been very disconcerting to me how the character we're guided to sympathise with, Mettaton, blatantly calls the characters who are more sexual (and also portrayed as kinda unlikeable), "gross". There's a general vibe that sexuality is bad, sexuality is gross, and also that it's not the most real or goodest form of love. It's up to the asexual character to go to through the Underground and snap these goddamn heathens out of their lustful trance! And like wow?? What can I say but yikes.

Also, the issue of libido. Libido being heavily conflated with a lack of restraint and also being presented as something that makes you attracted to everyone all the time? It's not a very flattering image of sexuality, and it's also sorta misinformed. To put it shortly, libido (sexual arousal), sex acts (e.g sex), and sexual attraction (if and who you're attracted to) are different things. All the monsters in Underlust have high libidos, have a lot of sex, and wanna have it with everyone. And the asexual character we got, Frisk, probably was gonna have low or no libido, never have sex, and be sexually attracted to nobody. You had all three or you didn't, which is very reductive to say the least. It's good that asexuals were acknowledged and I love ace Frisk with all my heart.. But this is a very narrow, misguided and unfortunately common way people understand sexuality. High libido and bisexuality aren't intrinsically attached to one another. High libido and allosexuality aren't intrinsically attached to one another. High libido and sexual acts aren't intrinsically attached to one another <- being aroused doesn't make you a jerk that crosses people's boundaries, and being aroused is not always expressed openly by said person. Again, it's all just a very reductionist way to look at sexuality.

Also, this is just a teeny weeny thing, but aging up is a bit complicated of a topic for me. Having a character be of consenting age is important if they're going to be sexualised for obvious reasons, but the complete absence of children from any story featuring or discussing sex can be troublesome in its own right. Making sure kids are educated about sex from a young age and letting them be a part of discussions is important for protecting kids from sexual abuse and ensuring their sexual health. Removing children from the conversation makes them ignorant, it makes them feel ashamed, isolated, and puts them at greater risk of harm. Also, Underlust is just so obviously queer, and I'm sure I don't need to get into a conversation about how some people think that children can't be queer, or think exposing them to queerness is inappropriate. This is all wayyy beyond the scope of the original work, but I think it's important to think about.

And the last thing on my mind doesn't have to do with the au itself actually, but I'm looking towards people in the UTMV fandom. Some of y'all with your shipping are just.. Uhh.. Well. I've said it before and I'll say it again, but being overly sexual or flamboyant does NOT make you feminine. If you think being promiscuous is an inherently feminine trait, you are partaking in the sexism my guy. If you think that a gay ship NEEDS to have someone be assigned 'the guy' and someone be assigned 'the girl', you are partaking in homophobia my guy. And if you think that LUST should be the GIRL in a relationship when paired with someone else, double whammy, that is both sexism AND homophobia!! I'm bonking you on the head, cut that out. (If a gay man wants to call themselves the 'wife' in a relationship, that's their own business, but treating it like that's the standard is not okay.)

Maybe I didn't go over everything as thoroughly as I could have here, but I've been typing for a bit and I'm sure you guys get the picture. If you have commited any of the cardinal sins here (joke), that's okay. I honestly don't think the creator meant to portray this, and I don't think anyone in the fandom has bad intentions, but it's still important to examine our own prejudices and misunderstandings and learn to be better. Just because you did a bad thing or didnt know better before doesn't mean that you're a bad person. Peace and love on planet earth, let's make Underlust best au in the whole world, okay?

[antlereed]

sorry i was possessed and couldnt stop myself



“Caduceus!”

Caduceus knew something was up the moment his family scattered. It wasn’t even the fact that they all left, but the way they seemed to vanish into the headstones and vine choked walls. So, he turned to accept his fate, delivered by the hand of Jester Lavorre.

“Cad, we have to try something, right now.” Jester is bouncing onto her toes, her skirts fluffing up like a bird in winter, before she levels what Caduceus can only describe as her most convincing pout. Her eyes twinkle in the dim light of the grove, and Caduceus knows that he’s about to agree to whatever it is she’s about to ask of him. He barely catches sight of Fjord, exhausted and grinning, stepping around the headstones and taking large steps over the dirt of the graves themselves.

“Tell me what it is we have to do and I’ll see what can be done about it.” He turns toward home, mentally takes note of where he had left off on his tending and other duties before offering Jester a hand.

“I’ll be ‘round here, if you don’t mind. Haven’t had the chance to visit a shrine in a while.” Fjord wiggles a hand around the space, and Caduceus can’t help his grin as he nods. Jester leads him away, her hand soft and cold in his as she skips down the newly cobbled path between the graves.

“Alright. So, I was talking with Artie the other day, and he had this idea of meeting some of the other gods. You know, since all this fucked up moon stuff is still happening all over.” Jester says it in her uniquely matter of fact way that has him nodding along, “And, since we’re super powerful and friends with gods now,” Caduceus can’t help his humgruntsigh at that, “We both thought that a good first try would be with your Wildmother lady!”

He knows that Jester will be able to tell if he doesn’t give the idea proper thought. So he ponders over it in the short time that they walk, thinks on the tint his dreams have taken on lately.

“We can certainly try. What’s the worst that could happen?”

The worst, in this case, is that Artagon and the Wildmother seem to unsure of how to talk to the other. Artagan is the first to arrive, with Jester unspooling Sprinkle from her shoulders and giving the animal a small wiggle before it unfurls into the tall, ridiculously eyebrowed man. The Wildmother is a more difficult summoning, but Caduceus manages to leverage both his presence and Fjord’s. She appears from the gnarled vines and tangled grasses at the base of a nearby headstone, and Caduceus watches as she bends at the knee to murmur something to the grave before she straightens and steps forward.

The silence is tense, despite Jester’s best efforts. The tiefling had pulled every trick she had. Offers of fortune telling, face painting, and even a tattoo when her options had all been politely declined. It’s when Fjord returns from his prayer, knees still wet and grass stained, that something is offered that catches Artagan and the Wildmother’s interest.

“Whenever I have to meet with a few captains at once, we always arm wrestle to break the tension. Most think they’re all that until they get beaten by Jessie.” Fjord means it as a joke, even nudging into Caduceus’ side with a chuckle, but Jester hears it and gets that bright look in her eye.

“That is a wonderful idea Fjord! Artie, Miss Wildmother, why don’t you two arm wrestle?” She asks it before either Caduceus or Fjord can stop her, tripping over each other and stammering apologies to their goddess before they hear a laugh.

“A wonderful idea, shall we?” The Wildmother grins and it’s odd to see, Caduceus only ever seeing glimpses and hints of his goddess before and unable to tear his eyes away from her. Fjord actually stumbles to a knee, his face the picture of stunned shock, as Artagan laughs and grins, sweeping an arm out toward one of the taller headstones nearby.

“Do you think they’ll mind, Caduceus?” The Wildmother gestures to the grave, and he has to scramble his memory to remember the fellow buried there. He figures that a godly show of strength would be welcomed, so Caduceus nods and hopes he doesn’t look as bewildered as he feels.

Artagan gets beaten easily, and then twice more when he demands a rematch.

what are the chances jester & cad have teamed up and used their lvl 20 divine interventions to have the wildmother & artagan arm wrestle at least once

[ursamajori]

hi friend idk if you particularly super mind about these things but the op of the “survived the barbenheimer” post is very very transphobic. just to let you know

hi! i do very much mind abt these things--i primarily use mobile, and my way of being aware of blogs like that is just. filtering a bunch of tags they use so when its a random meme i usually have. no idea lol. so thanks for letting me know

idk the best way to like. word this? but in the future when yall warn me about these kind of people (which i very much do appreciate) could you give more...idk i dont wanna say proof bc it sounds dismissive, i guess elaboration? like if its i dunno tumblr user "i-hate-trans-people" and i just somehow fuckin missed that (not this exact thing but smth similar has happened before. sometimes i am not very perceptive.) like. obv u dont need to but i know people will send these kinds of asks abt people they have drama with and i dont always have time to yknow. go and find the post and check the blog

normally i dont post asks like this but i figured it would be a good sorta. way to ask this bc ive never brought it up to yall and it would be unfair to expect smth without saying anything

i wanna be clear abt as well this isnt like. trying to single you out anon and i tend to ask this of people who send similar asks off anon privately as well theres just no way to do that with you since yknow. anon. but seriously, thank you for letting me know!

edit: someone pointed out how this person it’s VERY obvious once you click on the blog from the posts, i should have specified that since it. makes it more clear this was a general statement </3

[succubi-tch]

Cannot fucking stop thinking about the fact I saw someone claim that Americans are "genetically stupid" full fucking unironically in this day and age. Their blog was like fucking covered in madoka and other cutesy shit like bitch... You live like this????

[artoodeetootired]

dress

📖 she’s been his best friend since they were pre-teens; he was a rebellious, unrelenting, and aspiring racer, while she was a witty, energetic, and hopeful journalist. but after all these years, she can’t help but question whether they could be more- despite the challenges that come with her feelings.

💭 op!81 x fem!journalist, best friends to lovers (smau)

🎧 dress - taylor swift

🃏masterlist🃏

🥀 “say my name n everythin just stops. i don’t want u like a best friend. only bought this dress so u could take it off…” 🥀

ty for the love on my first smau ! here’s the next per the last poll’s fav choice :) warning: lots & lots of typos/underlying delulu cringe

Twitter

Instagram

ynuser posted a story 6s

Liked by landonorris, logansargeant, fbsfuser, and others

Replies

landonorris: solidarity queen ✊🏼

-> ynuser ✊🏼

oscarpiastri: u are actually insane

-> wow this is so nice of you.

-> such a great best friend .

-> an even better journalist.

-> ynuser anything to humble u while i am in this industry 🫶🏻

user: you are UNHINGED

logansargeant: careful yn, your favouritism is showing

-> ynuser: it's part of my contract. im the comedic relief of f1 journalism

-> logansargeant: but doesn't will buxton naturally do that

-> ynuser: now THIS convo could get me fired. shoo logan.

-> logansargeant LOLL

mclaren: just 'cause we love you, we'll let this slide

-> ynuser: 🫶🏻😸

fbsfuser: send my fuck you's to them both :D

-> ynuser: already on it 🫡

iMessages

Instagram

oscarpiastri

Tagged: landonorris, mclaren, ynuser

oscarpiastri great start to the season @mclaren 💪🏼

the same can't be said about a particular someone tho... betting someone should get fired.

📸: @ynuser

Liked by mclaren, landonorris, ynuser, and 609,993 others

View all 21,008 comments

landonorris i dont support bullying, but exceptions can be made if it's towards you

ynuser if karma doesn't get u first then either stroll or i will

-> user oh my GOD 💀

-> user shots fired LMAOOOO

-> oscarpiastri i'd rather karma than u and...

mclaren and we thought lando was our only pr liability

-> landonorris wait WHAT

-> oscarpiastri that's a bit too insulting towards me

-> ynuser this doesnt include me.... right?

fbsfuser boy if you don't take this down...

logansargeant oscar is this meant to be retribution for her story earlier?

-> oscarpiastri so what?

-> landonorris that's kinda overdramatic compared to what she posted wow

ynuser i would also like to say that this stanky man tried to go out for dinner right after his race 🤢

-> georgerussell scandalous 😨

-> carlossainz55 not very smooth of you oscar

-> alexalbon not smooth.

-> danielricciardo not smooth.

-> charlesleclerc not smooth.

-> maxverstappen1 not smooth.

-> fbsfuser i think, and hear me out, maybe you're in the wrong here oscar

-> ynuser and this is why we were both wearing masks on track

-> oscarpiastri too far. you've gone TOO far.

Instagram: 10/03-21/03

ynuser posted a story 10s

Liked by yukitsunoda0511, landonorris, georgerussell, and others

Replies

yukitsunoday0511: i will get you back one day.

-> ynuser: ngaww 😹

oscarpiastri: u are tho

-> ynuser: ik

->oscarpiastri: wait. are you?

danielricciardo: mind giving me an extra mic so i can do this when youre not with us?

-> ynuser check ur driver's room ;)

landonorris: how did he know 😨

-> ynuser: we been knew lan

oscarpiastri posted a story 7s

Liked by landonorris, logansargeant, fbsfuser, and others

Replies

ynuser: there's no way you pulled out a photo from when we were 13.

-> oscarpiastri: full on war. what are you gonna do about it?

-> ynuser: watch me

landonorris: u have to give this pic to me.

-> oscarpiastri: LMAO ty for joining my side

-> landonorris: no no, don't be mistaken. im against both of you.

-> oscarpiastri: mate what?

carlossainz55: u guys should just kiss already

-> oscarpiastri: carlos NO

mclaren: you're really trying to blackmail a journalist who has resources at her disposal? 😮

-> oscarpiastri: ...yes...

ynuser posted a story 3s

Liked by maxverstappen1, pierregasly, alexalbon, and others

Replies

alexalbon: congrats on winning soldier

-> ynuser ✊🏼

oscarpiastri: HOW DO U HAVE THESE PHOTOS ALREADY

-> ynuser: i like how u still underestimate my job then suffer because of it :)

pierregasly: these go hard 🔥

landonorris: well at least it's not as embarrassing for me. but a HEADS UP WOULDVE BEEN NICE

-> ynuser: bro dont even try ik you've been saving bad pics of me from oscar -.-

mclaren: we hope u enjoyed the pics!

-> ynuser: i owe u guys one fr 🙏🏼

Round 3 (22/03-24/03): Australia

ynuser

Tagged: f1

ynuser round 3 in australia!!!! 🇦🇺🦘❤️ amazing to be back on home base, and even better to see danny ric and pastry fight it out for the podium! (actual, professional, and correct news coming from me on @f1 tv 🫡)

ossie ossie ossie! oi oi oi! get it? 'cause ossie is like aussie and... okay. i'll stop.

Liked by mclaren, fbsfuser, danielricciardo, and 611,805 others

View all 21,008 comments

mclaren ty for providing us with baby pastry pics 🫡

-> ynuser pleasure doing business with u 🫡🫡

-> oscarpiastri excuse ME

oscarpiastri haha. so funny. at least u have stand up comedy since journalism may not work out :)

-> ynuser so you admit im funny 😸

-> oscarpiastri don't flatter urself.

-> landonorris nah mate, that sounded like defeat

f1 this commentary is fine 👍🏻

-> user LMAOOOO

user danny ric placing in his home base is such a dream come true 😭

-> user yeah im glad it isnt just a dream anymore

user cutiessssss

-> user them driving around the circuit in a golf cart must've been chaotic

-> logansargeant u have no idea...

user she's hilarious ilysm

-> fbsfuser back off fam she's mine ✋🏼

-> user i need to know how she got this job cause it is THE dream fr

-> fbsfuser yeah it really is a wonder given how many lectures she slept thru...

-> ynuser OI

danielricciardo 🫶🏻

-> user CONGRATS HONEY BADGER!!!

user can oscar fight???

-> user girl what are u talking about they aint tgt

-> user they aren't???

-> user no bruh theyre just besties

user watch me at the next race rizzin her up

Twitter

iMessages

Instagram Messages

landonorris: yn

-> yn

-> yn

-> yn

ynuser: bruh WHAT

landonorris: it's important

ynuser: lando i don't have time to answer whether a new pair of pants make u look flat

-> go ask osc

landonorris: ok first of all: a good pair makes a huge difference.

-> and second, it's about osc

ynuser: did smth happen to him?????

landonorris: no, sorry

-> shouldn't have led with that

-> i sent u a post on twitter

-> but just, read carefully k?

Twitter

Instagram Messages

ynuser: oh

landonorris: u see it?

ynuser: yeah

landonorris: are u okay?

ynuser: yeah im just surprised

landonorris: so you didn't know about it either?

ynuser: obviously not

landnorris: im sorry yn :(

ynuser: why? it's not like he owes me anything lol

-> im happy he started dating again in fact

-> was getting worried lol

landonorris: u sure u good?

-> doesn't really sound like u are

ynuser: im fine

-> plus i need to stay professional. i still have a job and there are crazy fans and all

-> thanks anyways lan

landonorris: alright, im here to talk if u need

-> so is the rest of the grid tbh

❤️ Liked by ynuser

iMessage

Instagram: 03/04

ynuser

Tagged: urmumuser

ynuser a little break back home with the parents doesn't hurt 🌊

@f1's the best for letting me regenerate lost brain cells <3

Liked by f1, fbsfuser, racerbia, and 702,009 others

View all 53,197 comments

f1 we got ur back queen ✊🏼

-> user in the middle of all the drama, this could mean so many things...

-> user well im gonna take it as them sayin that theyre on the right ship :)

user ngl guys the distance rn is probably 'cause yn and osc so close, especially with osc dating brianna, like she probably did it out of respect for them. no one wants to be 'the girl he told me not to worry about' yk.

-> user allegedly dating*

-> user allegedly dating*

user omg the parallelism to brianna with the surfboards 😭

-> user we've truly reached peak delulu i love it

landonorris enjoy ur break from a grid of shitheads 💪🏼

-> carlossainz55 speak for urself

wbuxtonofficial how am i going to handle them without you 0.0

-> ynuser well, not to state the obvious, but drivers are just... humans.

-> georgerussell hilarious

racerbia gorgeous girl 🧡

fbsfuser take me with u 😔

Round 4 (05/04-07/04): Japan

mclaren

Tagged: oscarpiastri, landonorris, vindiesel, and mrodofficial

mclaren A little surprise for our papaya boys as they come back from their Friday practices! 🤫 Here's to hoping we go fast and furious in the land of sakura 🌸

Liked by f1, ynuser, racerbia, and 851,092 others

View all 60,004 comments

user the lack of yn's interactions with the whole grid is actually making me glitch throughout this weekend. and it's only friday 💀💀

user omggggg van diesel and michelle rod!!!!!!

user they really be spoiling osc lolll

user it's so weird to see an interview without yn

iMessages

Instagram

mclaren

Tagged: oscarpiastri

mclaren H A P P Y B I R T H D A Y @oscarpiastri!

Our baby driver is 23 today, here in Japan! Drive well, birthday boy! 😎🌸

Liked by f1, fbsfuser, racerbia, and 905,874 others

View all 35,621 comments

user happy birthday ossie!!!

landonorris: our baby is growing up so fast

-> f1 we must shrink him.

user wow she must be pissed if she took her first annual leave during this totally coincidental time

-> user fr sis is fooling no one.

-> user this feels like such a bad omen omg 😭

-> user guys maybe our bestie yn just really needed a break... haha...

briannawood_ happy birthday osc ❤️

-> user oh my god

-> user she actually exists

-> user girl what are you doing here

-> user ayo???

alexalbon happy birthday!!!!!!!!!!!

lilyhme HAPPY BIRTHDAY OSC

fbsfuer hbd

-> user oh-

ynuser

Tagged: oscarpiastri

ynuser to the one who vexes me, encourages me, n supports me sm, happy 23rd birthday. i've known you since your rebellious days, trying to prove to the rest of the world how your dream was worth fulfilling, and i'm grateful to have been with you to this very stage of your life. from re-watching cars and fast n furious for over a decade, to re-watching ur races and my interviews, know that i'll always be there, on or off track, no matter what. to the bane of my existence, from ur twin devil x

Liked by others

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user oh im gonna be sick is she the one who told f1 to invite vin diesel and michelle rod 😭💔

-> user u are spitting facts but in this case facts should not be facting because this is actually making me hyperventilate by all the drama rn

user no im sorry but why does this sound more like a goodbye than a hbd note

user yn trying to prove that she's actually a great write when she wants to be

-> user and SHE IS 😭😭😭

user the way she doesn't sound like herself AT ALL wtf is going on

user this sounds like a very strange way of resigning 💀

-> user YOU TAKE BACK WHAT U SAID RN

Comments on this post have been limited.

Twitter

Round 5 (19/04-21/04): China

ynuser

Tagged: f1

ynuser im back 😈 lovely weather here in china as we start round 5's quali day!! let's get back to it 💪🏼

Liked by others

View all comments

f1 she's back!

user oh my god i thought we were never gonna see her ever again

lewishamilton missed our fav presenter

-> georgerussell frfr!!

-> mclaren actually ☝🏼 she was and will always be OUR fav

fsfbuser welcome back gorgeous <3

user well... the good news is that she sounds normal again

-> user nah bruh im right here in the paddock and she looks nervous/twitchy af

user the besties obvie haven't made up yet 😪

-> user or maybe they never will...

oscarpiastri come on back over to our pit, you left before i finished changing ?

-> user oH WTF

-> user this shit is actually going to be the death of me

-> landonorris i thought we agreed that i'd call her? 🤨

-> charlesleclerc hush for a little while she's over at ours rn

-> user this is too funny

-> user is this a pr trick or some shit 'cause IT'S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE

Twitter

Instagram

oscarpiastri

Tagged: ynuser

oscarpiastri you are never escaping me ever again.

(forgive my impulsive actions tonight everyone, i swear im only ever like this around her)

Liked by landonorris, fbsfuser, ynuser, and 1,397,819 others

View all comments

francisca.cgomes SHUT THE FRONT DOOR. FINALLY.

-> lilymhe I KNOW RIGHT

-> pierregasly oscar can be so oblivious sometimes...

-> fbsfuser boy he was blind, deaf, and dumb for as long as i've known them. like pick a struggle??

-> landonorris i second this

logansargeant kinda giving serial killer vibes but u two are cute enough to forgive that

-> ynuser 🤪

-> maxverstappen1 i can finally go back to the garage in peace without u following me to talk my ear off

-> oscarpiastri u knew this whole time??

user i am going insane.

-> user maybe i hit the blunt too good this time...

-> user @landonorris and @fbsfuser u guys are the gods of all wingmen.

user oh thank god he wasn't actually dating brianna

-> user our queen and king can come back stronger and better now 😩

user your honour, nvm, my parents just got back tgt :D

ynuser 10 years, both of us having a nasty high school relationship each, and a rumour bomb that exploded from underneath me... i think i have every right to try and escape again.

-> oscarpiastri this was not funny when u first said it, and it will never be.

-> logansargeant ok but it kind of is

user my fav writer inspo is now my fav driver's wag MY HEART

landonorris thank god i dont need to listen to the both of you whining anymore

-> ynuser who said we're stopping 🤨

-> oscarpiastri you can't escape me either lando.

-> landonorris this is foul @mclaren i suggest you give me a raise for keeping ur other driver in check

-> f1 haha no.

mclaren thank god we don't have to whisper every time we see something suspicious now

-> redbullracing im ngl, same.

-> astonmartinf1 we once had to watch while they bantered with each other for 10 minutes 🧍🏻‍♀️

-> scuderiaferrari not that it's a competition, but they were always close to pecking each other whenever they were here

-> alexalbon wait why were they even in any of these garages??

-> mclaren ask oscar why he keeps following her...

user that interview was INSANE

-> user i don't think i've ever seen such a surreal confession oml

Twitter

a/n: lowkey cringey hehe. this was supposed to involve a wedding (for a mclaren engineer not oscyn loll) where they'd all be dressed up (you know... DRESS) but i reached the pics limit 💀 honestly i would've written this out as a one shot or smth but once i start i will never stop... and i have my ibdp math final 😭

[kaladin-ex-machina]

Kaladin's final smash in which he lashes mario directly into the atmosphere

[blorbocedes]

let me take you guys on a journey. one that will help you understand how annoyingly obsessive and hung up my brain can get......

so here is where our wild goose chase starts. I was going through a 2012 f1 blog's nico tag. it's actually pretty rare for early 2010s blogs to have comprehensive tagging systems so whenever I find one I try to go thru it all. and I come across this v cute nico image (cropped for posterity. payoff will be worth it promise)

here we have a picture, from 2012, and in classic 2012 fashion there is meme text on it. OP of the original pic deactivated. so I want to find the version without the meme text. pretty easy, just reverse google search right?

WRONG!

google reverse search is functionally dead and defunct and absolutely dogshit.

ok back to square one. I'm trying to sus out from whatever information I have.

the other meme watermark of f1humour.tumblr.com? deactivated.

okay 37 notes. maybe I can do something with this.

tumblr kind of breaks (?) with very old posts. so even if someone tagged it, I can't see it. ok but 14 people liked it!

of the 14 accounts only 7 actually show, including mine. so what I do is I go through 6 of those blogs, and their public archives because those accounts are all inactive for several YEARS now. and I check their blogs for April 2012.

no luck.

back to the drawing board.

the meme has a MOTORSPORT.COM watermark.

here's all the information I have: this was posted on April 24th, 2012, which means that's my upper limit on the date this could be taken. Nico got in Mercedes in 2010. So from anywhere between 2010-2012 motorsport images couldve taken this pic.

so, because I was born with excessive intelligence, I think hmmm... let me search the archives of Motorsport Images dot com. surely that is where Motorsport dot com would keep their Images.

two years of a racing driver's pictures means thousands of pictures. okay. let's start from April 2012. unfortch for keen eyed listening, April 2012 was also the Chinese Grand Prix aka Nico's first f1 win.

why is that relevant? because it means every photographer and their MOTHER took a picture of nico for his first win. over 900+ images.

while I am exhibiting extremely unemployed levels of behavior here, I don't actually have the time and brain capacity to sift through 900 images.

I go back to the original tumblr post. this time I go to the empty reblogs. there's lots!

but because there's no tags it can't help me. still I go through every one of them because you can see the blog I found the pic from @the-fastest-waffle is listed in the other reblogs even though they clearly had tags!

and I find my silver lining. from @fuckyeahf1drivers's tags

just this simple. #bahrain #lol

if this picture is from bahrain 2012 it changes everything, as in it narrows my search a shit tonne.

375 images. This means 1-15 pages and I know the exact picture I'm looking for. I feel like I'm SO close. I can't give up now. gambler mentality 💎

so I guess what. I go through all 15 goddamn pages. and I DONT FIND IT!!!!!!!!! SCREEEEEECH

now I've lost hope. if it's not from bahrain 2012 then it can be from anywhere from 2010-2012 taken by motorsport.com which is just too big a search. there isn't anything I can narrow it down with. my search is futile.

but I have one tiny little thought bugging my mind. how come motorsport images don't have the motorsport.com watermark... so I consult a fellow archivist @vegasgrandprix on the matter.

WE AS A SOCIETY NEED TO ADDRESS WHY MOTORSPORT.COM AND MOTORSPORT IMAGES.COM HAVE THE SAME FONT

finally. finally

I go on motorsport.com

which is actually kind of not super user friendly interface finding their pics if you have excessive intelligence like I do. I go into this knowing if the bahrain 2012 long shot is actually NOT when that picture is from, I'm fucked.

I filter and say a prayer.

and lo and behold.

salvation.

one person's singular tag of 'bahrain 2012 lol' led me down this spiral, where if it wasn't for that bit of information this would be lost forever because finding the version of the pic without the meme text is otherwise near impossible. google reverse search is no help, and f1 drivers simply get photographed way too much. reblogs + tags with context literally are a holy grail. this is what I imagine archaeologists feel like. so if you ever want someone 12 years after you've posted something to go down finding out, tag your posts accordingly (assuming tumblr survives the next decade)

so why did I do it? why did I spend hours of my life on this? cause it's fun. it's like a mystery and it itches at my skin. many times I'm not successful which is why the times I am feels so rewarding because it feels almost like detective work, finding and refinding something, overturning evidence. and I have a brain that just functions Like This.

and now for the fruit of my labour, if you guys still want to see. the picture I spent hours to find the original version of. sitting proudly at the time of posting at 9 notes 😌😌 here's what goes behind actually finding and archiving 2010s retired f1 drivers online. click below!

👇👇👇

👆👆👆