#hope you dont mind me adding my personal experience

[jev-urisk]

A Musing Monday 🎐

Today i'm musing about connections and how they are often synonymous with our opportunities, our ability to survive, and our thoughts- therefor changing who we are and who will become. Also coin metaphors 🪙

Last Tuesday out of the blue one of my partners was laid off, he started a new job two days later because he knows people who work at a cabinet mill. 🙏

My family made the most healing ratatouille that we ate off of all weekend because someone I know from work had too many eggplants. 🍆📈

We got our house thanks to the efforts of a friend with a real-estate license. I got the contact info for my current therapist from a girlfriend. I have a song stuck in my head from a child I work with and I pick up catchphrases from people on tv and I know how to do pushups for the 1st time in my life bc an online friend taught me how. 🔥💪

Its fun and frightening to think about- that we are obelisks of pennies created from every person that gave us their two cents 🪙🪙

If every trait, thought, inclination, or idea of yours was a coin- which of your coins are old, passed down through the generations until they were shuffled into your hands? Which are invaluable? Like my dads tendency to accept things (like my gayness and transness and polyness) as long as no one is getting hurt, which I know he got from my grandfather ❤️. Which coins are a burden you dont know how to get rid of? Like my mother's propensity to say "It could be worse, think of__ (children in Africa, Houseless folk, etc)" which has become my tendency to minimize my own experiences and neglect to give myself breaks 🫠. Which coins did you find on the sidewalk and which sit with you in your car? Which are made of metals you're allergic to? Which are tarnished and scratched but still good? Which coins of yours are most valuable to you? 🎐

There are so many times in my life where I felt like I couldn't get a leg up, and the only way I got through was stacking pennies, adding up my connections and the ghosts of connections past to try to escape the pit..

With that in mind I want to take a moment to shout out the change (🥁) that others have gifted me with recently, cuz boy buddy have I needed to stack pennies lately, but have been so blessed to have so many new coins.

Thanks @sableglass, the fire you put into the world ignited action into me. I spent a year lamenting the loss of a job until your 'fuck it we ball' attitude inspired me to get resolved about that 🤽‍♂️. I got a job offer today. You helped me get here.

Thanks @the-golden-comet , you were one of the first writblr blogs I came across. You shaped my idea of tumblr to be something positive and uplifting during a very hard time for me 🫂. Your stories are so free and wild (🐳💦) and wonderful that they changed my outlook on being a writer and that what im 'allowed' to put in a story is anything but a limiting factor. You taught me that the course of a day can be changed with a simple frog gif and that you dont necessarily need to know someone to know how much they care. 🐸💕

Thanks to @tragedycoded for DMLS and @words-after-midnight for Libaw. Yall write the mentalscape of various conditions so well that im taking better care of myself 🧠🌿. I'm more proud of the work I've put into myself. And i'm becoming proud of the person I could have become but didn't.

Thank you to @lychhiker-writes for being my first homie on tumblr and for letting me vent my various frustrations into your dms 😏😅, and for being a brave and honest alpha reader for 7C.

Thank you @wyked-ao3 and @cowboybrunch and @gioiaalbanoart for being such great cheerleaders for my writing 😭💕 seeing yall connect and feel your feelings in my comments gives me so much hope and happiness and I honesty dont thank yall enough. I finally finished ch8 (no, really, check the doc 👀) and your encouragement helped me really embrace Seeker, who I used to think was too boring, and get that chapter finished 🏁.

There are so many others and I'm sorry for not naming them all 🙏 but if I have read your work, thank you. If I follow you or you follow me, thank you. If we have ever bonked together in a discord chat like two wayward beyblades 💞- *Thank You*

Today, I feel like I'm finally out of the pit, and it's thanks to the random 2 cents and spare change yall have gifted me. Your influence is priceless. 🥰💰

(Still no taglist for Monday posts yet, hmu if you'd like to be on it!)

[csuitebitches]

Book Review/ Notes from: The Psychology of Successful Women

I found the book pretty generic but I liked the fact that she added guiding questions to her strategies, which made it more doable. Here are the notes:

1. Define what success means to you. Ensure that it is healthy and holistic.

2. Note down your goals. “What do i want to be/do/have in my career?”

“A study on goal setting at the Dominican University in California showed you are 42% more likely to achieve your goals if you write them down. Written goals are proven to increase your focus, strengthen motivation and help you come up with a plan of attack to make your dreams a reality.”

3. We need a combination of the right mindset + behaviour in order to actually succeed.

4. Confidence isnt relative to being an extrovert or introvert. Confidence is about having trust in oneself.

A) developing a positive internal dialogue instead of a negative, critical one

B) focus on strengths rather than weaknesses. “.. revealed that people who used their strengths every day were three times more likely to report having an excellent quality of life, six times more likely to be engaged at work, 8% more productive and 15% less likely to quit their jobs.”

C) stop comparison - whether it means logging off social media or unfollowing/restricting certain people.

D) click with people with the same values as you.

E) believe in yourself. It’s not your job to prove yourself to everyone.

5. Developing a personal brand is important. A personal brand is how people see you and what you’re known for. Its important to consider how you present yourself online and offline.

• Your personal (people person/ adaptable/ flexible, etc) and professional strengths (what you really enjoy doing)

• What makes you unique

• Your achievements and qualifications

• Your life experiences

• Your values and the things that are important to you

• Your passions

• Your image

• Your mindset and attitude

• Your behaviour

Ask people around you how they see you - speak to people you deeply trust.

Reflect on that.

How would you like them to see you?

6. Imposter syndrome is often described as a pervasive feeling of self-doubt, inadequacy and incompetence, despite evidence of success.

A. Identity triggers and thought patterns to that lead you to feeling like a fake.

B. Acknowledge your past success and accomplishments. Write a list of some of your achievements and successes. Reflect on some of the great feedback you have received from a client or colleague in the past few months.

7. Boundary setting is a necessary evil. You will feel guilty at first, but it gets easier with time. You dont have to give out excessive excuses, either.

8. Fear of failure: What have you been putting off learning, doing or experiencing personally or professionally, because of fear of failure, or a fear of not being ready? • What can you do this week or month to stretch your comfort zone? • What would you do right now if you knew you absolutely couldn’t fail?

9. “Women tend to apologise a lot more than men in general, even when we have nothing to apologise for – almost out of habit. Do you say sorry a lot? Now this does not mean that we should never apologise, or that we can’t say sorry – of course we can. Just be mindful of over-apologising.”

Phrases to stop saying:

- I’m sorry that our director is unable to come today, you’ll have to put up with me instead…

- Apologies if I’m nervous today, I don’t often speak in public…

- I hope you dont mind but…

- I’m no expert on this but…

10. Stop diminishing yourself. “When we undervalue our role or contribution, we often reflect this in our language, and talk like what we do is not that important. Furthermore, when we don’t genuinely value ourselves, we may start to convince others of the same. People will often mirror back to us how we feel or speak about ourselves.”

11. “People with high levels of resilience think and act in ways that help them cope with change and setbacks. For example, they are flexible and can adapt to changing situations. They also tend to be positive and hopeful – believing the future can or will be better – even if they are in the middle of a challenge. Highly resilient people also don’t tend to dwell on setbacks and things they can’t change.”

Strategies:

1. Dont be afraid to ask for help. “People who are good at reaching out to others, talking about their challenges or setbacks, asking for help and then accepting that help, tend to cope better.”

2. Control what you can control. Do not focus on things you can’t control or change.

[fandomfluffandfuck]

S that latest poll answer makes me sad for you. Did that inspire that fic you wrote about Sebastians body image and thr beetle?

related to my tags on this poll & this fic of mine "The Kids Aren't Alright"

This gets personal and kind of intense, so it goes below the cut!

Trigger warning for discussion of general poor mental health, depression, suicidal ideation/self harm, eating disorders, body image issues, etc.

The short answer is an overwhelming yes.

"The Kids Aren't Alright" was very much something that I wrote because it struck a chord in me--Sebastian talking about his experience with body dysmorphia always hits home for me as a guy with body dysmorphic disorder, and the first time I heard Mackie admittedly very affectionately teasing him, saying he got stuck in the VW Beetle, I was a little horrified, I mean, secondhand embarrassement, imagining embarrasment so vividly it was horrible, really. So, naturally, I had to make it into a fic.

Also, I hope you don't mind, sweets, before going on, I'm adding onto your ask with another that I got even more recently:

youre very generous with what you share, so ignore this if im over the line, but its mens mental health month and that suicidal ideation post made me think of your mental health, whats been your experience with it?? i dont have a lot of men in my life who are willing to share with me, so i thought i would ask you 🥰🥰 please delete this if youre uncomfy tho

which is related to this

Both of you are such sweethearts!

Thanks, though, I don't exactly try to share a shit ton 🤷🏻‍♂️ I guess, eh, being somewhat anonymous in this corner of the internet yet being honest in the form of the spectrum of emotion from raw feral angst to private domestic fluff to shameless shut coaxes me into being so forthcoming? Not that I'm, like, super reserved otherwise, lmao.

I'll start with a short answer again before I go into deeper detail, which is just to say: my experience with it has been rough. I, a queer man, grew up in a small, red town with a very traditional family, so... yeah. It was not fun.

Okay, longer answer now because when given the opportunity, I. will. yap.

I think I will start with masculinity here because I feel as though a lot of my experiences with mental health and issues with my body tie directly into my masculinity. I don't have problems with being a man, I love being a man, it's who I am, I just don't love some of the expectations of being a man on a grand societal and interpersonal level, y'know?

Masculinity, to me, was always presented as the thing you have to be or else. Or else my parents were disappointed; or else the other boys wouldn't like me; or else I felt bad about myself: or else there must be something wrong with me; or else I must be gay; or else.

I have older siblings, and my older brother was in Boy Scouts when we were kids. Both of my parents fucking love the outdoors. So, of course, they loved that. My dad, specifically, spent all his time doing Scouts shit with my brother or organizing similar activities just for them when not at work. (I had a traditional western family unit, my dad worked, my mom was a stay-at-home mom.) And while I do enjoy the outdoors and camping and hiking and all that, just in smaller doses, I never wanted to join Scouts. I nearly immediately attached myself to art, so I just didn't have the interest. I can't do art if I'm outside digging in dirt, fighting with sticks, practicing knots, doing target practice, and backpacking (or whatever else the boys in the troop were doing), can I? That meant, if I wanted to draw or do crafts or something creative, I was inside, and my mom was looking after me and my sister while my dad and brother were out.

That did not sit well with my dad. He wanted me outside, joining Boy Scouts and fixing cars, playing mechanics with my brother. I did not want to. He tried very hard to get me to be as interested in more stereotypically manly activities with him and my brother, and it didn't work.

I'm just more artistic. That was always a clear disappointment.

To add on, as I grew up, I was not physically traditionally masculine, either. I've cracked jokes here and there that I'm not too dissimilar to pre-serum Steve before. It's not far off. I'm about 5'6", a little taller, and skinny.

I grew up waiting desperately for puberty, waiting for my muscles and growth spurt and... it didn't happen. My voice dropped way deep (which meant it cracked wildly and super noticeably, and, of course, I got shit for it), and I enjoyed that. I never had a pressing issue with my dick, I mean, I would hazard a guess that anyone with a dick worries about size at some point just because that's something etched deep in social sexuality, but I had more pressing things to obsess over. Like, at first, when body hair started to kick in, I was psyched to see it, and then it kept coming and suddenly guys in the locker room were pointing it out and making fun of me for being a "little guy" with so much body hair. Puberty also did fuck my face up with acne which destroyed a lot of my self-esteem, too. I had to go on Accutane not once, not twice, but three times. I still have a robust routine to keep my skin clear (but it is clear these days and I'm still reeling thinking about it, it took someone telling me I had really nice skin for me to snap out of it and realize I wasn't still covered with acne, actually. And that was recent!).

I didn't have my pre- to post-serum sudden increase in height and muscle moment, so I continued to feel scrawny and weak. Having pectus excavatum, a birth defect where my sterum curves in instead of going down in a straight line, never helped, either--I got made fun of for that, of course. I remember a comment about how one guy in a locker room wasn't going to dare to hit me/slap me on the back because he would clearly just break me... yeah, that didn't help feeling like the odd one out, unmasculine, fragile, and unattractive.

My self-esteem is much better these days, I will gladly say, but I genuinely used to get sick to my stomach just thinking about what I looked like, never mind actually looking in the mirror. I felt horrible that I had to go out in public and subject people to looking at my face. I'm an avid journal-er, and I have old entries where I just go on and on and on and on about how I felt like a monster. Disgusting and hideous.

It doesn't matter that I know, objectively, that I have a fairly masculine and even an attractive face. My jaw is square, I can grow a beard, I have a deep voice, my eyes are green, I've been very lucky to have straight, white teeth without braces and all that. Plus, people seem to like my cheekbones and curly hair. My voice, too, people seem to enjoy my voice and my mouth. So, evidently, others seem to appreciate my face. So many people spread over so many years have no real reason to lie. I'm complimented. I've not had problems when it comes to dating and relationships or whatever. Yet still, it's just not what I see. I say I know objectively what I look like because I know facts about myself, but I...

I don't really know what I look like, if that makes sense? My reflection shifts a lot, over the years I have had a problem with every part of my face, every part of my body, and I know I can't trust what I see in the mirror. I fixate on things, and it consumes my viewing experience.

Part of the consequences of all... that... all those issues above have been my experience with eating disorders. I've had some fun [sarcastic] mix of orthorexia, binge eating disorder, and anorexia over most of my conscious life. From the moment I was aware of myself and my own body, I've had problems fueling my body. It's a cycle over years and years that's been going on since late elementary school (around 10, 11), where I'm fucking sick and tired of feeling weak and useless and not masculine, so I push myself too hard in the gym and kitchen--working out until I'm physcially ill, blacking out, blistering from running and lifting, I've torn a few things that way, while obsessing with healthy foods at the same time to the point that it's unhealthy. That happens for however long I can take it. Then, eventually, I break. And I get into a cycle of binging that destroys my ability to go to the gym, so it's just binging. Cycles of it, uncontrollable. That morphs into feeling too big and disgusted with myself in the opposite way that I started with, so my brain fixates on restricting. What goes up must come down, though, so with enough of that... then I feel too small again and, yeah. It starts over. 🙃

I have worked very hard to break it with the help of friends and a short lived experience with therapy (he was a terrible therapist, then my insurance stopped covering it, so I couldn't afford to go or find a new one), but I've--dare, I say--gotten into some kind of balance more recently.

To end on perhaps a hilariously on-theme note and something happier, what I have found is that sex helps. Therapy and supportive friends and good environment are obviously irreplaceable. But, sex is good, too. When I was in the thick of all that, younger with my mental health challenges way more out of control, I'm sure I was just getting away from the numbness and hurt--endorphins, oxytocin, y'know, all that.

Then, I'm sure it was added to by the fact that suddenly, with sex, women (I am queer but when I started fucking around, I only felt safe enough to be with women, I didn't think I could be out where I was, and now... that's just the way it's worked out. It happens to have been women) were enjoying me. Enjoying what I could give them. Complimenting me explicitly or implicitly. Saying I'm hot or, clearly, if we're having sex, I'm not so disgusting that you don't want to fuck me.

But, sex helps beyond those rudimentary things, too. Finding kinky people and sex-positive people has inadvertently led me to find body positive people and find examples of real bodies--people really actually enjoying themselves. Spending more time naked is beneficial, too, haha. Slowly, I'm learning to appreciate myself more. This is my body. It's the only one I have to live in, I may as well make peace with it. And I will take the pleasure that my body can give others. I appreciate that I can do that. I like making people feel good, I like having their faith put in me to make them feel good and treat them and their bodies well, like they're desired, or not 😏, depending on what they're into. I want to pull that pleasure out of them. I want to make them feel good, bad, whatever. I want them to feel in their body.

Did that answer the question, lmao? I just rambled 💀💀

[shares-a-vest]

can i ask where you get your inspo for your joanie munson series? i want to write more fics for emma but i dont really have, to put it lightly, good childhood memories or experiences so im not really sure how to make them realistic or "cute"

Hi CJ! Thank you so much for the ask and for supporting my little Joanie Munson AU. I LOVE seeing you pop up in my notifications when I write about her 💖 Tbh, I’m a little like squeeee someone is asking about my writing, right now!

Okay, before I delve into some rambling about my Joanie Munson AU, I just want to give a shout-out to everyone for getting through childhood crappiness, whatever it may be. Sending you all (and you, CJ) the biggest hugs.

Sooooo I don’t actually draw inspo from real-life experiences. Nothing that happened with Joanie happened to me and a lot of this AU is driven by me wanting to give Steve and Eddie a loving little family that is all cute and silly and filled with love.

The only thing miiiight come from real life is the fact that most fics are set at Steddie’s apartment or someone’s home. As a kid, my family were pretty housebound because I was sick and even now my life circumstances have me living in a bit of a small bubble – it’s all good btw, but I’m just trying not to give details, so apologies if this part reads a little too vague!

With only a couple of exceptions, most of this AU has developed via community events/prompts.

Right now, I’m working my way through each of the Flufftober Spring Prompts. I try to treat this AU as I would any other prompts – just starting with a super basic idea, maybe even a line of dialogue that gets in my head and seeing where it goes.

For example, the ‘Daisies’ prompt. I knew I wanted Joanie to be making daisy chains with Claudia. Then I thought it could include Wayne, then I wrote from his perspective, then added this silly side Steddie moment. And I always keep in mind how I have this AU set up (even if a lot of those ideas are just sloshing around in my head for now).

Like, Joanie’s grandparent figures are Claudia and Wayne, so what’s her relationship/dynamic like with them? How does Joanie’s personality shape the ficlet too? How is she like Steve and/or Eddie personality-wise in this situation? What parts of her are just your average excitable kid?

I know that overall, I want to keep this AU fluffy and silly. It sometimes falls into angst territory when I start writing about Steve’s parents but I can never bear to leave my Blorbo sad for too long.

Tbh, some comments/tags on my Flufftober Spring writing have me thinking about the meta aspects of this AU in ways I hadn’t before. It’s not like I pre-planned writing a Steddie Dads AU btw, I just fell into it after one ficlet and started to build it out from there. And even things I find myself writing about then sort of become an ongoing thing – if that makes sense. Like Joanie owning a Furby and the silly saga of that has appeared three times now.

The comment on THIS ficlet perfectly sums up an underlying… theme??? I guess, in this AU (Steddie healing their inner child, which BRB SOBBING 😭). Another tag by @marvel-ous-m on this one beautifully described this AU as ‘slices of life’ which it very much is, and I enjoy sticking to that. I guess what I’m getting at with all this is using your own parameters and the interior world of your Emmaverse AU to your advantage.

Gosh I hope this reads okay and isn't too rambling!! I love your Emmaverse and can't wait to read more of it.

Feel free to reply, send more asks or DM (if you want, no pressure of course!) I hope this was helpful in some way 💖😊

[lampochkaart]

I know this is unrelated to Danganronpa, I apologize in advance. I only ask this with respect and hopes to understand. As an aroace person such as yourself, do you find romance (particularly with shipping) to be appealing as long as it isn't in your own personal life? I'm sorry my hetero ass is struggling to understand, I just want to be a better ally.

Hi, anon! You don't have to apologize, I don't mind talking about something other than Danganronpa X)

I'm rambling here for quite a while, maybe a got a little carried away, because the subject of ramance is quite complex

Every aromantic and/or asexual person is different. Everyone has different experiences so there's no universal rule. I'd suggest, if you want to be supportive to your aromantic friends, you should ask them how do they personaly feel about romance and shipping. Are they comfortable with this topic in general? Are they fine with it as long as it doesn't involve them, or would they rather avoid romace completety whenever they can? Everyone feels differently about that, so it's better to ask people's opinion on that topic rather than trying to find one universal rule.

If you're not asking that because of some specific people that you know, but because you want to support aro people in general, I think a good idea might be to look at some aromantic themed blogs, or read some of people's personal experiences for a better understanding of the topic.

I think it's posible explain aromaticism with an analogy. Let's say, romance is some kind of food, like an apple for example. A lot of people like apples and eat them often. However, there are people who dont. Some people can't stand the sight of apples. Some people can eat apples sometimes even though they don't like them very much. Some people don't want to eat apples themselves, but are completely fine with other people eating them. And so on, and so on.

Romantic attraction (and romance as a concept) is as different for everyone as food preferences. Some people just don't like some things. Everyone is different.

As for my personal experiences... I don't necessary hate the idea of a partner, but I think I'm very picky so I would be hard for me to find ideal option. I'm not opposed to the idea of having a partner, but I don't feel the need to have one. The moment when I realised that I'm actually aromantic was when I realised that people are not just being overdramatic when they complain about not wanting to be single. A lot of people genuinely feel upset when they don't have a partner/partners. It's not just a joke that people make. For a lot of people romantic relationships are very important. Never in my life I felt like I need to be in a romantic relationship and I never really questioned this. It took some time for realisation that not everyone feels like that to actually sink in.

When it comes to shipping, well. I like romance, but I don't really like plain romance. I like when characters have something else in their relationship aside from romance. They could be friends, enemies, rivals, collegues, allies, etc. Anything really. I just want something else going on with them aside from being romantic partners. I think it might even be better to put it this way. I like when romace is secondary to the primary character dynamic. Like, they're best friends first or they're rivals first, before they're romantic partners. It's some primary dynamic to which romance is added, instead of it being the other way around and this dynamic being just the flavor to romance. When the relationship borders between platonic and romantic, but perhaps gravitates more toward the romantic. I hope this makes sense.

I am not saying this is the only right way for interesting relationships, but it's just the way I prefer it.

So, in short, I do find romance appealing, but with some requirements.

Thank you for your question! You were very respectful an polite. Hope I explainded it alright. If you have more questions or don't exactly understand something here feel free to ask. Have a great day!💜💫

[strawberrystepmom]

hi kendy, i have a personal question, you dont have to answer if it's too much, but how do you get ready to touch yourself? because i think i get distracted too easily and it's hard to get in the mood, and i end up ruining it for myself 😭 sorry if this is too creepy, just delete it if it bothers you, but thank you anyway!

listen i used to do this too and I dead ass remove distractions. no tv in the background, maybe just something to muffle noises if i need that, but it’s just me, headphones/earbuds, and whatever else is needed bc baby if the tv is on I’ll be sitting there fully Winnie the Pooh pussy out shirt on vibe in hand watching love after lockup 😭😭😭😭

also like…set the mood. I used to be like ugh im just trying to bust a bit i dont need this but it adds to the experience. read a sexy story or watch some soft core to get you started, just a little purr and not a revving engine quite yet. make mapping your body our an experience instead of a rush, remember what makes you feel good and really focus on it. there’s a lot of mindfulness in masturbation if you let there be!!!!

sometimes I’ll massage my own thighs/calves/hips or I’ll massage my boobs like there are truly a million ways to be in touch with your body. so no tv, no music unless it’s adding to your mood, and understanding that this is time for you to enjoy helps a lot.

hope this helps ily

[when-life-gives-you-lemons-if]

FANGIRLING MOMENT AHEAD!!-!!2))2$

if CC has one fan, it is me. if CC has 100 fans, im one of them. if CC has no fans, i am dead. im ur #1 fan (NOT CLICKBAIT) ok this first part is going to be hella cheesy but i do have some writing questions after (sorry for long ask, idk how to dm on tumblr) onto my appreciation paragraph that i wrote for you: i hope you have a great day, CC. i really enjoy your work and dedication that you put into your writing. i have no money currently so i can’t support you financially yet (like on kofi or patreon) but just know i always read your work and will always be supporting you! i’ve been a fan of your work since i was 14ish? i’m 16 now and your work has inspired me to get back into writing—you’re truly one of my biggest role models when it comes to interactive fiction (which is no easy task, IDK HOW YOU DO IT) and writing in general! thank you for being such a down to earth author. i don’t know much about you personally but i know that writing can be super hard/overwhelming for a lot of people! when days are rough, i hope you can remember this message <33333 i have a lot of questions about writing, specifically your personal experience/journey with writing that i want to ask you, if that’s okay? you don’t have to answer all—you dont even have to answer them if you don’t feel like answering! i would just really like more perspective from authors in the interactive fiction field before i think of starting an IF of my own (it’s intimidating) i think its safe to call this an interview in your inbox

QUESTIONS

how did you begin writing fiction that’s interactive? what about interactive fiction appealed to you?

have you ever written non-interactive fiction works before publishing your interactive novels, or did you choose to go straight into interactive? (p.s. if you have any non-interactive works, SEND THEM MY WAY…please)

kind of adding onto Q2: if you haven’t written non-interactive works before, have you ever considered it?

what age did you begin writing?

do you ever get writers block? if you do, what do you do to get the ideas flowing again?

do you set writing goals for yourself? how do you make sure you stay motivated in order to reach them?

how do you plan your works? is there a specific structure or setup you follow?

i’m a newbie writer, but interactive fiction is really intriguing to me. i would like to ask for your opinion: do you think interactive fiction is a good place to start? or would it be better if i dabble in non interactive fiction first to get the hang of writing in general?

how do you handle overwhelming/overbearing/invasive comments from readers? which are pretty common in the IF community

if you’re an adult, have been to college? and if you dont mind me asking, what’s your degree(s) in? and final question that adds onto this, do your degree(s) involve writing or is writing just a hobby/passion you do on the side?

THANK YOU!

that ended up being longer than i thought, i’m so sorry… anyway, thank you so much for reading my questions (and if you reply, thanks for replying!) i hope you have an amazing year (and life in general.) i’ll never forget the impact your writing has left on me /pos and i’m so sorry if this “interview” is invasive or makes you feel overwhelmed, that wasn’t my intention. i hope you continue releasing books, but just know that it’s okay to take breaks!!!! don’t let the internet hooligans overwhelm you. and if they do, HAVE NO FEAR, J. IS HERE! i will *happily and dutifully* defend you with my life.

Thank you so much. 💕 That is so kind of you. I'll do my best to answer all the questions. 😁

I noticed the age you wrote down and I hope you stayed away from all the mature stuff that I write. 📏🧐

1-answer: Believe it or not TWC was my first experience with IF and while I was reading it, all I could think was how bad I wanted to do something similar, like writing a story that people could interact with and make choices. So I joined the forum, learned choicescript, and started working on my very first game The Burning Sun.

2-answer: No I never wrote any non-interactive stories. Interactive fiction is my first experience with writing for the public. From what I've learned about the publishing industry, non-interactive fiction authors can have a hard time finding publishers, and I don't think I could suffer through that process, it seems intimidating.

3-answer: No I never wrote any non-interactive stories. And I don't think I could write a story where I can't give the readers the option to make their own choices. Interactive Fiction ruined it for me. 😅

4-answer: The same as you, I would say, around 14, 15. But those are stories that stayed in my diaries or notebook and were never shared with anyone else. So Interactive Fiction is my first go at making my stories public, and let me tell you I have so many of them. I hope I'll end up writing them all one day and share them.

5-answer: All the time, why do you think I have so many side stories or other projects. As a writer, you are bound to have writer's block. The thing is when it happens, just don't let it stop you and just find a way to relax, give yourself a break, and do something else that you love doing. I wish I could follow my own advice, but... when I get Writer's block, my brain just defaults to write another story. I had writer's block writing the Midnight Saga, so I went on to write Insert Rich Family because it was a story that was more light-hearted and fun. I had writer's block writing Lemons, so I went on to write The Wedding because I wanted my brain to focus on something else. And the cycle continues.

6-answer: I don't. I'm a very disorganized writer, but... I recently applied to be a writer for Heart of Choice and they asked me for a full outline of a game that I pitched them. BOI did I struggle, because when I write my stories I have no idea what chapter 2 or 3 will look like, I just sit down and write and go with the flow. Having had to make a complete outline for the full game without even knowing what it would look like was tough, but... by the end of it, I loved and enjoyed the process and I think I will apply it in my writing from now on. I think having that bit of organization will help in the long run, especially when I have writer's block.

7-answer: No... I just sit down in my kitchen and write. I have a very active brain, so I'm always thinking and always trying to get stuff done. That's why I can do like 3 months' worth of Patreon content, then take a long break because after such high, I crash, then I get high for writing again, then I crash, lol. ll that to say, it's good to take breaks when you get overwhelmed.

8-answer: It's hard to give you a great answer for this because it will depend on what you like and what you're ready to tackle. I will say that writing IF can be challenging, so if you want to start with IF, start small. Try to code a small story, with just one or two NPCs or ROs beside the MC. See how you manage the branching and the development. Don't start big because coding different branches for different interactions can spiral out. I can't really say much about the non-IF part, but I think all IF stories start as non-IF. They only become IF when you start adding choices and branches. 💕

9-answer: I've been fortunate to stay out of some drama here on Tumblr, although my first one did cause me to get blacklisted and blocked from some authors and IF recs. OG readers will know what I'm talking about, and no I don't want to dig out that drama.

I'm grateful for the followers that I have and for every reblog, like, comment, and recommendation. I feel like I'm slowly getting some recognition and that is why I can spot new readers based on their asks. Some people might think I'm new, but no. I've been here a while, just took me some time to make it to your FYP. So how do I handle overbearing or overwhelming comments or asks? If it's something that I feel uncomfortable answering, I just block and delete it. If not, I answer it the best I can because sometimes people may be asking a genuine question, but in writing it, it might come off as rude. So, it's really a case-by-case judgment.

10-answer: Yes, I'm an adult, a millennial. 😭 so old. I went to college in my home country, Haiti, and my degree is in business administration. Nothing to do with writing. My current job which I will lose soon is in Human resources, so writing is just a hobby. But I would love to be able to do this full-time.

Thank you for all the questions and I hope your 2024 continues to be great. 🥰💕

[spacedlexi]

hey same anon from yesterday!

first off, good luck with your assignments, Killin myself out here too.

And thanks for the advice! I’m trying to make it canonical while in a modern au, so since this was a mainly S1 part of the series, Clem’s parents + Lee’s wife nonsense still happens, just navigated differently. Different dates obviously happen, some characters are less prominent and others are more (i.e St. John’s useless, or Larry + Lee’s family roles/created)

For the personalities, some characters are just easier to write I think. I’ll never understand the Violet southerner thing, a telltale sight for me is if someone messes that up. (Also basically every story has Minerva as a total asshole so that’s funny)

I tried to implement game lines too, while putting it in modern context! And the end of the day you’re right, it is MY choice, just want to have it look nice. Again, thanks and good luck!

using lines ripped from the game can definitely be helpful, especially if it feels natural in the scene, i would just be careful in not leaning on it too much. adding a twist to it definitely helps. but really try to pay attention to the cadence with which characters speak. theres a rhythm to Everything. do they stutter when theyre nervous? do they use a lot of filler words? do they hesitate at all or do they speak confidently? do they enunciate? stuff like that. if you can figure that out it makes it easier to write dialogue that really feels like its coming from that character. think about the different ways multiple characters may express the same idea. how does it get filtered through their heads and mouths. its less about What the character is saying and more How theyre saying it. believability and all that. to me it feels like pulling off a magic trick

it really is just a delicate balance of behavior and vocabulary. its why i try to cut a lot of slack to writers when it comes to fic. i know its a hard line to walk, and i'll give points for getting Enough right. especially for characters we dont see much of. thats why even tho it annoys me a bit i understand why so many people write minnie as being a possessive asshole and not much else. its why i end up going down the rabbit hole trying to figure out who she was before the delta. like we Know she was a different person, we just dont know much about that person, and the experience/thought process that she had that turned her from the "didnt even like killing walkers" never mind the darkness minnie into the minnie that killed her sister. i find her to be a really interesting character because its obvious she still cares about the ericson group in some fucked up way (sans clem she just sees her as an obstacle to getting them back) and i Do wish that depth was examined more in fics. but maybe im just not reading the right ones

ANYWAY i hope this has all been helpful and good luck with your writing 💕

[blacknidstang]

Tagged by @juststartingtobebrothersagain 💜

Ask game bellow the cut ✧⁠◝⁠(⁠⁰⁠▿⁠⁰⁠)⁠◜⁠✧

1. Are you named after anyone?

Nope. But my nickname, Ashi, is taken from a nursery song if it counts

2. When was the last time you cried?

Actually half an hour ago. I was rereading some part of Franny and Zooey for thousandths time and it always gets me

3. Do you have kids?

No and i never will

4. What sports do you play/have played?

5. Do you use sarcasm?

I have always been pathetic when it comes to sport. However i am both a good runner and swimmer but i only do those recreationally. I can't handle stress of racing. I've tried basketball and volleyball and i have been incredibly tragic like a wet miserable cat.

I try not to because it really creates communication issues especially with added language barriers. With some friends tho, we have shared sarcasm i believe so it works

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Hmmmmm... Their gaze. And whether they notice me or not.

7. What's your eye color?

Dark brown

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Neither exactly? I don't vibe hard with jumpscare horror but i do love bad devastating endings, not in tragic movies but ones that are meant to invoke discomfort.

9. Any talents?

I think i'm a good speaker in person. I have been the constant project presenter since 10th grade till end of my masters. I also think, or hope, tha i have quite an imaginative mind. Also whenever i'm making one of those huge 1000 puzzles i usually can grab one single piece and figure out where it belongs. I used to get mocked for this bc but hey if i take pride in that 😤

10. Where were you born?

Somewhere in middle east.

11. What are your hobbies?

Drawing, writing, hoarding academic papers (especially regarding religion and mythology recently), digging through all sorts of true crimes, unsolved cases, internet mysteries, fucked up cults. Puzzles and riddles, i also used to be so invested in Notpron (an insane & amazing internet puzzle) & i went to level 50 something & am planning to get back too. Also just grabbing internet courses related ro physics, geometry, astronomy for fun, i used to be a theatre kid but it's been some years since ive been a part of.

12. Do you have any pets?

No unfortunately :(

13. How tall are you?

148 cm/4'10 :D

14. Favorite subject in school?

In school it was geometry, biology, art, literature, and english. In my undergrad i took an anthropology course unrelated to my own degree which was the best experience and in my masters my favorite subject waw something i can roughly translate to architecture analysis.

15. Dream job?

I am somewhat having my dream job right now in a game design project with coolest people, but on the other hand i know big industries are literal hellscape when it comes to game and animation so i dont know really. I do wish to later in life go for phd, at one point i was fearing i'd be permanently a student djeujsisi but i think being a researcher/scholar of some sort is kinda awesome.

No pressure here @lilacpaperbird, @nameslikeguns, @stray-with-a-muffler , @hurricanejane, @fathercain1999, @laurasashtray, @sexwithag, and anyone who wants to do this im quite shy with tags

[ajdrawshq]

Is there any non-spoilery way you could talk about how isat isn't just about timeloops? because like I do want to check the game out eventually for sure if only because indie fun times but I'm busy for a while before I get the time and tbh I'm just not as curious because I don't know how it's gonna break that formula (also ngl no colors makes me lose 50% interest because I like. looking at colors. lots.)

UHM OK WELL UM. hm. how DO i do this without spoiling anything. im very not good at describing things especially things i Really enjoy so how do i put this . hold on i might need to look at some reviews so i know how to words. ok

as a disclaimer i havent fully interacted with a lot of (if any??) media that has timeloops so i cant say for certain what it does differently from similar media that makes it stand out from others. at the same time ive never seen something that is so directly About Timeloops in this way even if i consider stuff ive heard about in passing but i could be wrong (madoka n utena come to mind ?). ill try to think abt the things that arent Just timeloop related plus the stuff u mentioned and hope that helps it feel more interesting and less generic?

i think one of the main things i can say is that it Really makes you feel what the protagonist is feeling. more than anything ive ever watched or played or whatever . and thats saying a LOT given how much i empathize with protags in games. and its not even just an empathy thing here. both the story progression and the gameplay work in such a way that you experience pretty much everything the same way they do, while still having their own personal stuff u can learn about of course

on that note tho. that is actually something to be careful of for a few reasons. i know ur generally pretty good with darker content so i doubt thatll be a problem for u here (its not that bad tbh but there is IS a warning when u open the game/look at the steam page and it aint lying) but. due to the nature of timeloops. it CAN get tiring and this is very much intended. and this helps a lot w the story and themes in a way that its. like. think how kh days does repetition on purpose. its a lot like that (although i had way easier of a time getting thru isat than days? i cant remember how u feel abt days' gameplay but i think it was positive ? either way getting thru isat was way more bearable than days imo). it does do a good job at balancing this with a couple mechanics that mean u dont have to repeat everything all the time (i had like. Very few actual full loops by the time i finished) and theres ALWAYS new things happening, even if ur super thorough with everything. its pretty easy to do things at whatever pace u feel like and if u wanna focus on the main story only to make it easier it wouldnt take too much away from the experience (tho i do encourage talking to the npcs at least a few times), and theres always a goal to work towards. also dialogue skipping and the banana peel are ur best friends

sort of adding onto that. it really, really helps that u are sharing the experience with the protagonist. not only does that help u relate to them (even if u dont share as many traits w them as i do akvdjsn) but theyre probably the most beloved character in the game and for good reason!! its really fun to see their interactions with the rest of the main cast and the npcs, and watch them all develop in different ways throughout the game. and my goodness all of the characters are beautifully written - at first ur kinda thinking ok its a ragtag group of sillies in an rpg whats new. but their personalities and relationships and hobbies and problems and everything about them is just so well done.. they feel so natural. human even. every conversation feels real to me. one of the main themes of the game is the concept of change, and each of them represent and approach it differently, both positively and negatively. its hard not to fall in love with them as individuals and as a group because they just have so much going on, even the ones i didnt expect to like at all!!

the worldbuilding is also a fun spin on fantasy rpg worlds. it mostly revolves around the area u play in bc well. of course it does. but its vv interesting to learn about all the different cultures within the world and how they interact with and build on the themes of the game. theres all sorts of queer stuff going on and its all handled like a love letter to people who relate, and i can feel it even with what i dont relate to at all!! the way "magic" works and the ways people use it in battle and everyday life is super cool too, makes the whole thing feel a lot more believable and realistic :3 i dont wanna talk abt any specifics bc its more fun to learn abt this stuff ingame

OH AND THE TEXT.. EFFECTS?.. idk what to call that but the way dialogue (both internal and external) is written and programmed is funky as hell (affectionate). it was weird at first bc oftentimes (mostly for humor) its like. almost the way i type actually?? which feels strange in a legit game but it Works. it works so well and adds tone and vibes and a Voice in a way u usually cant get in a game without any voice acting. deltarune is also good at that but this one does it differently enough for me to consider it unique

HAVE I MENTIONED THE ART STYLE i love the art style . its so charming and expressive especially all the talking sprites n battle portraits. simultaneously silly n adorable while fully capable of being serious. and creepy. anyway look at the sillies i love them n their designs dearly (especially Siffrin (1st on the left) and Mirabelle (2nd on the left))

also on that note, the lack of colors....... i both totally understand being put off by that (i also love looking at colors n this part made me feel weird abt it when i was thinking abt getting it at first) and personally enjoy it? without saying anything spoilery (bc its really not), its just another part of the worldbuilding and themes that i now find really fun :3 should be noted that i usually have an anti blue light filter so it mightve been easier to look at w the yellowish tint going on. maybe it even looks better that way ? kinda reminded me of old films now that i think abt it.. neat!!

as a last thing i couldnt quite insert somewhere else. it is equal parts a comedy and a tragedy, and it is so, so effective at accomplishing this. the humor is fantastic and adds to the games' and characters' personality, every tragic moment is . for lack of a better word or phrase. absolutely fucking delicious. and i adore how well it can shift from one to the other gradually or in an instant, or just be both at once!!!! yippee!!!!!!!

aaand thats all i can say. i have no idea if that cleared anything up BUT i encourage u to give it a try bc i do think youd like it in the end. u probably wouldnt finish it as fast as i did but that might be a good thing jfbskndj but yeah!!!! in stars and time!!!!!! its good and i love it!!!!!!!!

[caluski]

ive made myself hot chocolate wine. hot wine chocolate maybe. its mostly hot chocolate and some wine... i only added a little because i havent made hot wine in a long time now, i was worried id evaporate the alcohol and make it gross. but it turned out fine and its good, maybe next time ill make some with spices. maybe replace oat milk with some other one... i think cashew might be good, maybe if i spot it on sale somewhere. with cinnamon maybe, with slices of orange? orange matches both chocolate and wine, why wouldn't it work with both at the same time. i wish i could spend an hour or so in the kitchen, making different infusions that i could try with someone else. its always so much more fun to try new things with another person.

i dont really mind drinking alone, since i already usually do it while watching something or writing. but i do really really miss drinking coffee or tea with other people. i miss talking to people so very very much. i talk so much.. if one somehow hasnt figured it out yet from the absolute fucking abundance of long posts on my blog, but i really do love talking. my big problem is that i talk so much, that my hot drinks cool down before i get to take a sip or two. im really horrible at keeping that balance between being caught up with the conversation and drinking. although i never really have much to say, i keep repeating the stories ive already told a million times before, and i say silly stuff, and i complain about a lot of things, and i get sidetracked constantly. not really in like, adorable or quirky way, i can imagine it must be annoying for the other people in the conversation, especially when i get too excited and interrupt people and dont listen very well. i think its one of those things i wanna improve about myself.

yesterday, as i was walking home through the centre of the city, i was horribly in need of coffee, it was so cold and i was in a good mood, and i only had weak green tea that morning, and since it was still pretty early in the day, the cafes had some free spots. but i walked in, looked around, and walked out. its like everything reminds me of loneliness these days, and when i got inside, tables were all taken by couples or groups. i dont think it was a sign of anything, but it made me so awfully bitter. i know loneliness doesnt make me special, i know literally everyone experiences it to some degree, but god, it really hurts to look around and see that despite everything, people always have someone out there. a best friend, a significant other, family member, whatever.

theres that stupid thing everyone always repeats, "theres always someone out there who loves you, even if you dont know about it". i used to hold onto that desperately, but its so dumb. unrealistic and dumb. it makes you hope that maybe right now youre alone, but once you'll be at your rock bottom, SOMEONE will magically show up and say, i care for you, and i will be by your side to support you, or whatever. but then you hit the rock bottom and theres nothing, or better yet, someone you had hoped would stay with you suddenly says "i have anxiety and seasonal affective disorder, i cant be around you or ill get worse, too", and you dont want them to get worse because of you, of course you dont. theyre being reasonable, and you know that, and you cant do anything about it. even if you do guilt-trip them into staying, would that even really help, if they resented you for it secretly for the rest of their life.

a week ago or so ive walked into a cafe, as well, but i got so overwhelmed that i had to pretend to look around which tables are free, and left right away. just brought in mud and puddles, probably, since it was such a snowy day. i worry that one day ill be better, but i wont be able to step foot inside a cafe anymore, because it will remind me of nothing but the days when it was just me and self-loathing. not that i can really afford cafes anymore, but i cant think about that now. or worse, that ill never get better, and ill never get to experience it again, the presence of another person by my side, having coffee or tea or desserts, and talking and laughing and maybe even flirting. that thought makes me nauseous, but i know its likely. it kind of sounds like not much to wish for, but it feels almost too perfect to ever be possible - not only to have money for that in the first place, but also a person who cares for you enough to want to be around you, to want to talk to you or listen to you, a person who wont tell you "we can go out, but i have only an hour" and then leave after 20 minutes because it turns out in that hour was included their ride back home.

i keep thinking, one day ill find someone, one day i wont be lonely anymore and then ill let it all out of my system. but i know its silly, because by the time ill find someone, ill forget how to really be a person, how to have a conversation. i talk to myself a lot, in my head, but its not enough, it doesnt really feel like anything. i write a diary, i write short stories, i write posts on this stupid blog, but nothing feels like talking to another person, and its awful. my memory is far worse, i stutter more and more with each passing year, im being more and more awkward in such an uncomfortable and humiliating way, that it only makes my brain scream at me to shut up forever. i know why my family doesnt want to talk to me, im more unpleasant than ive ever been. i know its unfair to be blaming them for not wanting me around; they stopped asking about anything, recently, because i cant stop crying whenever they start the topic of job search. i cry too much these days. i had to stop showing up to my favorite grocery store, because theyve seen me too many times all wet-eyed. and i cant help it anymore! i know im still human, i know im not a victim, i know my suffering isnt greater than anyone else's. but something has changed and i cant imagine getting better, anymore. or at least going back to who i used to be. theres no hope anymore! and if theres no hope for me anymore, what do i do? "just surviving" isnt neutral, its horrible, its painful, its a nightmare. i dont want my life to look like this. i dont know what to do anymore. and ive said it a thousand times, i know, but its the only thing i have floating around in my useless empty head. i miss hope. i miss believing that i could still be happy, one day. and i know that was stupid, too, i can see it now, but at least it was something to hold onto.

i miss being around people. i miss it so much. i miss talking to people so horribly. i miss laughing and i miss being held. i dont need all this cortisol. i dont want to forget what it feels like to not be alone. but the more i want it, the more out of reach everything feels, the more unrealistic even the simplest things seem. i might as well be dreaming of living in alternate universe fanfiction.

[leedongwook]

-> re: reblogging issue convo

Thank you for the kind answer, as always. I hope you get all the reblogs and more people support your work, you really deserve it! 🩷

I'm one of the "old bloggers" too, been around here for 15 years and just turned 30 last month 🥳 and you're right, could be the age why we dont understand the conceptual change 😭😂

I'm also pretty sure we both have the same idea of tumblr and how to use it respectfully and politely, so as to not make this ask even longer, I'll skip it if that's ok?

The thing is, some content creators I follow occasionally post rants and warnings about not wanting any opinions in the hashtags, comments, any text added to their gif sets, positive thoughts included. It's not that I've ever received a msg directly, but I do feel like I'm being yelled at too in those rants because I type things like "this is so gorgeous and I love that character so much" in the tags.

I definitely don't reblog as much as before and tbh don't even want to anymore. That, however, doesn't include your work, which I often reblog without thinking twice. So thank you, for everything you're doing here. Wishing you a nice week 🫶🏻🩷☀️🌺

I am so happy to see you back, I was worried my answers were maybe a bit too direct and harsh. Thank you for your kind words and wishes, I appreciate it 💕 We are the "oldies" on here huh :) yeah I think we both know the true Tumblr etiquette and how to blog the right way (I wish some more people had that common sense again duh!)

Oh, I see what you mean now. I think I've said it in one of my asks, how much we love to read other people's thoughts and opinions (= you screaming about how much you love the character/person or show or scene or whatever in the gifset) on our gifsets/content. So please always reblog stuff and yell about how much you love it, it's the best thing to see :) I know some content creators don't like when people add stuff to their gifset in the comment section and not in the tags. So it changes the layout/style of the original post a bit. I don't mind if people add their thoughts in the comments section and it's defo no reason to send hate to other bloggers.

What I personally dislike tho is, when people reblog my gifset and add negative tags to it (like I fuckn hate this show, or the character sucks). Why reblog something you don't like, that makes no sense to me. That's actually the only reason I don't like people reblogging my gifs. Thankfully most of the reblogs I get are lovely and happy reblogs which makes me happy too :)

Anyway, I think I got what you mean and I think you also understand my points. Thanks for talking about this and clearing things up. I get why it's a bit discouraging for you to reblog stuff, no one wants to get hate and no one should get hate, ever. I do hope your Tumblr experience will get better and you can enjoy reblogging again.

Thank you for supporting my work and for reblogging my stuff, it means a lot to me. All the best to you and have a wonderful week 😘

[tea-and-panthers]

just a quick post. i was reading a few article on how to identify bot accounts and discover that i may be miss identified as a bot/spam account since i’m new and dont know much about this wild west of a platform.

so I am here to help assist other newcomers with a summary of my research, keeping in mind I’ve only been here for a day so if someone more experienced is giving out advice theirs is probably better.

1. bot/spam accounts generally have a default icon and background. (fixed this up first thing i did after making the account was add an icon and i just uploaded a background)

Recommend course of action: add an Icon and background as soon as possible. and maybe play around with you theme a bit.

2.username looks inappropriate or spam like. (this isn’t a problem for me since i didn’t do this because why would I)

Recommend course of action: just don’t, if you may have made this mistake, best to change it.

3. a blog is sending messages that are asking if you want content that is potentially nsfw, example ‘do you want pictures of n***d women on your phone’

Recommend course of action: report and block. i speak from experience, i got one of these messages and didn’t even finish reading it before blocking and reporting. also don’t send this type of message to people wether or not they think you are a bot that would make anyone uncomfortable and explicit content is against community guidelines.

4. apparently like strings on accounts and large amounts of reblogging are suspicious.

so say you go to someone account and read like there art or something and you like everything there. apparently 10 or more likes on one account within a short time period is considered a like string.

this is one I found myself guilty of, so what happened was I found the account of someone who made a series of tutorials on how to draw kobolds that I had found in pinterest so I followed the and i wanted like all the tutorials (there where 10) but i decided that liking just the tutorials seemed suspicious so i liked some art in between (it’s good art.) i now see that liking just the tutorials would have not been as suspicious. to that person, sorry for the spam likes, I have learned my lesson.

Reblogging, so something like 40 or more rebloggs in a day with little context, than nothing for a few days looks suspicious.

Recommend course of action:

like strings; of you come across an account you really like just like 3 or 4 posts and follow. you will get another chance to like more.

Reblogging; i don’t see this one being much of a problem if you just casually use tumblr. I myself have spent some time (but not all my time) on tumblr and Liked around 250 posts over 24 hours but have only reblogged 12 (which is probably still a lot) but i have also added something with the reblog such as a comment along with the normal tags people usually only put (i feel bad reblogging without contributing something). the only way i think you would reach a number like 40+ is if you are on all day with nothing else to do and are reblogging every third post you see (not that i’m judging, apparently reblogging helps more that likes.) or you are reblogging reblogs in response to them on a post that went viral. if you are adding to those i don’t really think that would be suspicious. And try not to reblog too many posts from one blog in a short amount of time that seems very spammy

REPOSTING IS NOT THE SAME AS REBLOGGING

reblogging, if you like the reblog it likes the original post. this is helping in most cases from what i’ve read. (just try not to over do it.)

reposting is copying the image or text (some cases both) and uploading it on your own, often done without permission form or crediting the original author. this is not helpful, if you have permission form the original author and you credit them, that should be ok.

yet again, i am also new and may be mistaken about some of the stuff here. this is based on personal experience and research i’ve done.

hope this helps others new users to this wild west. I intend on posting my art soon i just need to get it all together first, that i can upload a few pieces at a time.

If you are an experienced user who has any corrections of stuff to add I’m sure new users like myself would love the help.

[ay-chuu]

hiee im here 4 the matching event (bungo stray dogs pls)!! also pls stay safe with the earthquake and stuff thats going on!!!!!

i'm 21, 5'2", and i have brown hair and green eyes !!

zodiac: scorpio

mbti: istj

hobbies:

going on nature walks and taking pictures of bugs and birds!! i love birding but im new to it

drawing!!! and writing sometimes

listening to music or just reading abt my current hyperfix !!

i bake occasionally but im new to it still

things i hate:

people who are rude asf to other people for no reason and take their anger out on others (kunikida and chuuya dont count theyre special and kind they just have a temper)

loud noises

ppl who go out of their way to hurt bugs 4 no reason. like killing them is fine if theyre in ur house but u dont have to torture them ):

Favorite things:

my fav games are probably tf2 and hollow knight! i also dabble in minecraft !!

my fav genre of movie is horror and one of my favs is cloverfield or scream!! i love creature features and kaiju movies too!!

i love all sorts of music but i listen to a lot of indie/alternative music and alternative rock!!!! the only music i dont rly like is country.

ummm idk if i have an idol >_< but i think zoology is cool. i will ask plz dont match me with mori or tanizaki if thats ok !!

Hi! Thanks for your good wishes love! You cant know how much i admire them! (ɔ˘ ³(ˆ‿ˆc)

I match you with... (っ＾▿＾)💨

ATSUSHI NAKAJIMA!

First of all, from an MBTI and astrological point of view, your zodiac signs are healthy compatible, while your MBTIs will arrive at the perfect match except for some toxic aspects of the two sides! By the way, Atsushi loves looking into your green eyes and kissing your eyelids! :3 I can imagine you playing with his bangs too!

Your outlook on life, your hobbies and the secret softness of your personality makes Atsushi very happy. Because while he couldn't even had time to experience and love some simple things throughout his life, you are very determined to hold his hand and bring it to the top in the spiritual sense. Burnt or not, he will love to eat anything you cook. And he will suggest making an album of the photos you took <3

your logic and knowledge of certain things will save him from acting on his feelings. And his curiosity and gentleness in everything will make you feel satisfied about the issues that you may have been missing for years. Atsushi takes great care to do his best for you and be a therapist lover the way you are to him. By the way, your love for different creatures makes him feel at peace with himself and this is one of his favorite qualities about you! <3

I think that the thing he can't stand about you is your courage haha! Because you like to try new things and not avoid scary things, sometimes you give him minor heart attacks KJSDLFJASLDFG he's more of a happy-go-lucky type on his mind. But don't be afraid! By sacrificing some moments to each other, you are not hurting each other and you are solving this problem!

I can see your relationship progressing by talking and solving each other's past troubles and I can see you find peace in each other <3 Some of your memories: the way you shouted and jumping at Atsushi who almost stepped on a bug while hiking, the first kiss you shared on the first mountain you climbed together, hugging on the sofa while talking to each other at home and you excitedly introduce the new rock music you listen while he feels like his ears are bleeding but still has same excitement like you T^T

And finally, a personal comment: What you wrote about bugs made me smile because it was so sweet and tragicomic that you added something like that when everyone else was adding bugs to things they hate. 😭😭

Hope you'll like it! <3

[scaryarcade]

Hopefully this is okay to disscuss this kind of thing here. But in my own (and still on going) discovery of my plurarity ive found myself in a weird spot in DID/OSDD community where i relate to the some or most experiences of being a system but still feel like the way symptoms i DO experience is "wrong".

One of the examples i could give is criteria for DID/OSDD being "having repeated trauma before 6-9 years of age". But the only traumatic major event i can recall that started to affect me was at 11 years old. Before that age i almost zero memory from that period (which is terrifying on its own tbh). And from 11-13 i started devolping BPD and was probably the beggining of fragmatation of my identity/personality. My own dissociative spectrum feels more on then "just BPD dissociation when in stress" but still less severe in what you see in pwDID who have seperete identities. Though, lurking through your blog (im normal trust me /j) and knowing about "median system" did resionate with me a lot. I still feel like a huge imposter because i "dont have the worst trauma ever and have total seperate identities that make living hell", i for sure am disordered plural/system but i feel guilt when being plural doesnt completely ruin my life like it does with a lot of pwDID/OSDD. I am aware i probably have it better in this aspect of mental health in this community but i want to hear and knlw more about atypical/nonstereotyped way of living with DID/OSDD. And your blog gave me that comfort/closure i looked for so long lol. So honestly thank you for creating this little blog i appreciate you adding unique experience/opinions to the community a lot!!!!

I hope my ask is understandable and sorry for any errors i might have put here 😭😭

(Also im fucking losing it over the coincidence of sharing the same name/pronouns/age-range/interest ☠️☠️)

hi!! thank you for the ask + hell yes name twins!!! LMAO

i really appreciate you taking the time 2 share ur experience. there are a few things that came to mind while i was reading ur ask. this is not meant to imply you need to change how you view yourself/selves, but since you mentioned feeling like the way you experience symptoms is "wrong", you may find these things useful to know if you didn't already:

you do not have to recall trauma before the ages of 6-9 to be diagnosed with DID or OSDD! actually, you don't have to recall any trauma at all to receive a diagnosis.

anecdotally, there are a lot of people with DID who do not experience clear, rigid separation between parts/alters

also anecdotally, a ton of trauma survivors (especially those with complex and/or developmental trauma) struggle with imposter syndrome and feeling like they have it better than others.

i frequently feel guilty like i'm invading spaces/taking up resources/just generally don't belong in places for trauma survivors because "other people have it so much worse". this is a pretty normal way to feel, but it fucking sucks, so i'm really sorry you're dealing with what sounds like a similar feeling. i think this is what happens when we have been forced to spend a lot of time rationalizing the bad things that happen to us. mentally, we have to normalize and minimize our own trauma in order to endure it. so it's a lot easier to look at someone else's experience and go "wow that's horrible and traumatic!" than it is to do that with our own.

happy 2 hear that median terminology resonates with you!! it definitely was immensely comforting for me when i found a term that encapsulates the often REALLY confusing experience of, like. "we're separate people we're the same we're different from each other yes we are no we're not <3".

i'm rly glad to hear my blog has been a useful resource for u. i hope you know there is no threshold of suffering that you have to meet in order to deserve resources, support, and community. you belong here!

[lets-talk-spirituality]

https://at.tumblr.com/lets-talk-spirituality/703755184537567232/rfw9at8itdad /// I agree with everything, you're right and it's okay for you to act this way!

curiously I see a lot of myself on you, i'm a teenager, i grew up in an abusive household, and I have a poor communication with my parents (they’re divorced) it's a loooong story but summing up i developed many issues and attracted toxic friendships, i'm trying my best to heal and i know how you feel when people twist your words and put pressure on you, i know because I go through this since childhood (reason why i have only two friends lol. I don't consider friend friendship without depth. To protect my energy and mental health). I'm too caring toward others and I dont want to disappoint anyone. My life is boring but at least my heart is in peace. I have emotional blockage and use this as a way to avoid becoming codependent with an abusive person, i fear i would love unconditionally anyone who gives me the love i didnt received and wished so badly my entire life. I don't like having to be strong all the time, sometimes I feel exhausted i wish i could rely on someone.

Is easy to gaslight and manipulate me (i'm not even tell a story that happened to me with a narcisist during 2021😂 now i'm laughing but at that time i wanted to yell) after i realized this, i started to develop some defense and i never open up about me to others and only share what i don't mind people knowing. I don't trust my own self and need validation but finally i'm working on it and developing confidence. Consequently these wounds - plus many issues and anxiety - made me highly empathetic and intuitive (unfortunately not on a psychic level), I would never do to other people what was done to me. We don't have to become the monster that destroyed us.

I appreciate that you haven't given up on this blog even with all the trigger and annoying people, I wouldn't handle it, honestly, i'm glad you share knowledge and don't let negativity get in your way, the process of healing from trauma is very complicated. Wishing you the best! 🌱💕

sorry for bad english

Omg. Hi! Welcome to the tribe. So glad you found the blog and me because yes. We have very similar experiences and probably relate and can understand each other very deeply. If anything I hope it makes you feel less alone and gives you hope that things can always grow and strengthen. Reading your ask made me tear up a bit, because thank you for validating me and my experience and my reactions and for truly understanding what I said. I also feel like maybe we are connecting for the reason of feeling community and that’s so nice. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself with me.

I’m adding you to the psychic bestie circle, because I was literally on the phone with my mom (also a long story, because who likes ‘em short?) about how I view loyalty and how seriously I take that and why it makes it hard for me to make friends and feel like I belong. I think trauma does this thing where you can’t take relationships lightly because so many of core your relationships are fractured and it doesn’t feel safe to have friends or other people around you can’t fully trust. It can be hard to engage with people who are more light and casual at times because it’s like they don’t really understand what it’s like. I struggle to connect a lot because I feel people don’t understand the depth of what experiences like this mean and how they shape us.

And you nailed it. I did that with my exes. I’m a lot more healed now because I rarely feel things (blessing and a curse, amiright?) for people, but part of me is so terrified to meet a healthy partner because I know so much of this will come up. Being love starved makes you primed for codependency. There’s this thing I wrote once:

“You’re going to hurt me.”

“No. I’m going to love you, and sometimes they feel the same.”

If you’ve only ever known love that hurts, healthy love hurts too, because it almost exacerbates how badly you were treated by offering a comparison. I can’t find a way to expand this feeling through words, so I hope you get what I’m saying.

And yes again! I literally wrote after talking to my mom not an hour ago “why do I always have to be the adult” I’m always the glue holding shit together, the one no one ever worries about because I always handle it. My sister is dealing finally with her trauma from all this and my mom is all I wanna be there for her and wanted to talk to me about what happened growing up honestly. And it’s like why couldn’t you offer me that when I was suicidal for the past two years (2020/2021) but you can give that to my sister (who deserves that obvi, but like I do too).

That’s the shit that kills me sometimes and I know it’s playing victim but sometimes it’s really like just because I’m smart and strong and wise and capable of holding it all together, doesn’t mean you can just neglect me. Doesn’t mean I should have to hold it all together all the time. That’s kinda what I mean about people negating my hard work. Like people I’ve encountered, generally speaking, seem to not understand my struggle because in a way I make it look bearable or something. I’m only like that because I had to bear it. There was no option. Whether I make it look easy or not, doesn’t mean it is. I could only ever rely on myself— ultimately things I’m grateful for, I’m sure you get this push and pull too between appreciating what you went through and how it grew you and also resenting it deeply because you’d rather be well adjusted.

Idk why today all my trauma is stirring around. Maybe because of therapy yesterday but it’s like all day I’ve had this energy going around. Anyway, sweet nonnie. I can tell you have an amazing and loving soul and I feel so much power from you, it’s quiet but formidable. If you ever want to chat in the DMs. I’m here for you! And your English was fucking perfect and I’m impressed AF because I can only speak English and un poquito de Espanol. Sending so much love and healing and just general joy to you! 💫⭐️☀️ Never let the dirt dim your shine. You’re golden baby and you only grow more rare with time. Mwah 💋