scaryarcade

[scaryarcade]

what an interesting & insulting assumption to make! i live with my abuser, who is mentally ill and had a difficult childhood, and have had to interact with him every day for almost all of my life. i'm very familiar with what it's like for someone to continuously take their unprocessed issues out on you.

when my abuser started going to therapy, all it did was give him someone to validate his dishonest portrayal of events (therapists can't magically know if you're twisting details to make yourself look blameless!) and give him new language with which to disguise and rationalize his abusive behavior.

therapy can't make anybody stop hurting others. anybody can choose whether or not they routinely mistreat the people around them.

nobody in the fucking world is obligated to go to therapy. "not going to therapy" is never a moral failure. the only thing you're obligated to do is to treat other people with respect. the idea that therapy is the only path to being a person who's safe to be around is so fucking warped and rotten i can't believe how deeply ingrained it is in our society that even well-meaning people parrot it without thinking

[scaryarcade]

Never let anyone tell you that it is unproductive, unnecessary, or disturbing to work yourself into a seething, torturous rage over the percieved failings of strangers. These are mere gaslighting techniques used by reactionaries who know full well that passive-aggression and simmering contempt are the only things that have ever changed the world.

[scaryarcade]

hey i think i will definitively shift this blog to being for personal/disability posting, and have created a sideblog @evilmedian for discussing plurality and system issues.

aside from my usual online complaining i'd also like to get back to what i originally wanted with this blog (foster discussion about overlooked plural experiences) so i hope to do stuff on there like post daily discussion prompts. polls. etc.

i also made this sideblog partially because i'm sick of seeing plural tags get bombarded with harrassment and in retaliation i'd like to spam the tags with what i think is the best defense against sanism and prejudice: open and unapologetic discussion of lived plural experiences. if you have any experiences with plurality you want to share, but especially ones that you feel are unorthodox or not discussed often enough, im asking you niceys to please flood my inbox with them at @evilmedian ^_^

[scaryarcade]

Non-DID plurals are not lying to you about our personal internal experiences or faking large chunks of our own lives in order to upset you, trick you, or gain access to some mysterious benefit that doing so supposedly unlocks.

That is a fucking bonkers claim to make.

Imagine if you made that claim on a singlet-- that you thought they were lying about their emotions, internal experiences and large chunks of their lives just to fuck with you personally.

What an extremely arrogant position. Non-DID plurals are just out here living our lives. Stop believing that we're trying to gaslight you to access some benefit that doesn't even exist.

[scaryarcade]

also like, come the fuck on. nobody who says shit like this has ANY capacity to advocate for or even care on a basic level about other disabled people. its fucking wild to see their fanbase eat this shit up instead of thinking for 5 seconds and realizing "ohh this person wouldnt hesitate to dehumanize and fling slurs at me the second i do something that makes me The Wrong Kind Of Crazy in their eyes"

[scaryarcade]

there are few kinds of people with less to offer to the world than content creators who generate clicks by getting their fanbase of young teenagers to harass people and cause drama for them. theres really nothing you can say to young people who are fans of creators like aspenfrosten that wont be automatically dismissed, bc the pressure to stay in their self-reinforcing social bubble is massive. but if that werent the case i would want to say this: you mean nothing to this kind of person. they do not want to support you or your community. you are a commodity and a stepping stone to grow their Online Brand, and given that people who get weirdly parasocial with their young online audiences often have much worse intentions, that's the best case scenario.

[scaryarcade]

the random scapegoating of autism in accessibility discourse drives me up the fucking wall. "we need real accessibility" yes agree "NOT things like sensory rooms!!!" what the fuck are you even saying? where is the connection??? How did we get here

do people think things like, idk, sensory-friendly environments are an Optional Convenience for all autistic people and never something that determines whether or not they can. You know. Access the space. its just weird to me that this specific type of accessibility gets derided so often

[scaryarcade]

(tucks hair behind ear shyly) hi new followers sorry if you were tricked by my hit tweets into thinking i have like, cogent political opinions. i actually mostly post about extremely niche terminally online discourse. but thank you guys for reblogging en masse my post dunking on someone i was arguing with. you have no idea what this has done for my ego. They say you cant win an internet argument but i think this counts

[scaryarcade]

things i wish i had known when i escaped my family household and couldn't ask my parents for help

invest in a good mattress early on. there are many other ends you can save on - sleep is not one of them. this is key to how much energy you'll have throughout the day

you don't need a bedframe but you do need a slatted bed base (even if it's just pallets)

opening a bank account is easy

there's youtube tutorials for everything. how to install your washing machine, how to use tools, fixing stuff around the place. channels like dad, how do i? are a godsend

change energy provider as soon as your old deal runs out. you'll get better offers elsewhere and avoid price gouging

assemble a basic first aid kid at home: painkillers, probiotics, alcohol wipes, bandages, tweezers, antihistamine tablets - anything you might need in a pinch

and an emergency toolkit: flashlight, extra batteries, a utility knife, an adjustable wrench, multi-tool, duct tape

set your fridge to the lowest temperature it can go. the energy consumption is minimal in difference and it'll give you +4/7 days on most foods

off-brand products are almost always the same in quality and taste, if not better, for half the price

coupons will save you a lot of money in the long run

there's no reason to be shy around employees at the bank/laundromat/store; most people will be happy to help

vegetarian diets are generally cheap if you make food from scratch

breakfast is as important as they say

keep track of your budget in a notebook or excel file - e.g. rent, phone and internet bills, food, leisure so you'll have an overlook on your spending over the months

don't gamble

piracy is okay

stealing from big stores and chains is also ethically okay

keep medical bills and pharmacy receipts for tax returns

also, file your tax returns early

take up a hobby that isn't in front of a screen. pottery, music, going for a run every now and then, stuff that'll keep you busy and sane

and most importantly... you're allowed to get the stuff you want. treat yourself to the occasional mundane thing. a good scented candle. a bath bomb. that body lotion that makes you feel like royalty. the good coffee beans.

you're free and you deserve to be happy.

[scaryarcade]

oh my last post wont show up in the tag so heres my vaguer take: "Problematic" relationships between alters are common and normal and nothing to be ashamed of, you can't apply the same rules to insys relationships that you would to a relationship between bodily separate people. theres really nothing to worry about as long as nobodys getting retraumatized/reenacting trauma internally. even in that case its not something anybody should be made to feel gross or bad for.

[scaryarcade]

um. bit of a rent lowering gunshot type of post but "insys dating is incest" ppls brains would explode if they found out abt my relationship with one of our protectors who i sometimes view as a sibling & sometimes as a romantic partner & sometimes both at the same time depending on which members of my subsystem are present--the lines between us arent always clear and our viewpoints get blended together. and this hurts nobody because in-system relationships are not equivalent to external ones and do not operate under the same rules. like its always good to be mindful of things like potential internal reenactments of abuse but come on. how many layers of complicated insys relationships are you on? you are like a little baby. Watch this

[scaryarcade]

genuinely astounding take like its actually kind of exciting to see something this bold and fresh in the tag instead of the same 3 stale arguments. yeah, sure, all members of a system are actually siblings whether they want to be or not. through DNA! wow! How are we feeling about this one guys

[scaryarcade]

meep morp. beep borp? :]

im always saying this ‼️‼️‼️‼️💯🔥💥

[scaryarcade]

Why have you not yet spoken on the Israel Palestine conflict? Do you support the damage that Hamas has wrought? Why are no disability blogs condemning this when countless disabled Israelis are being massacred and becoming disabled.

this probably isnt the weirdest bait ive gotten but its in the like, top 10 for sure. Followers/mutuals are any of you also getting these asks or am i just special to this anon

[scaryarcade]

if only there were some way to learn about the original intended use case of the term 'plural' in the context of systemhood like a website dedicated to the history of community terminology or even the original blog post suggesting 'plural' as a purposefully non-medical alternative to 'multiple'

[scaryarcade]

what if we didnt call trauma survivors "literally broken since birth". wild idea i know