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glassartpeasants · 4 years ago

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Like Father Like Son .2

Overhaul x F!Reader

Warnings: Angst, mentions of not eating, depression, mentions of needles, unhealthy/toxic relationships, child abuse,

A/N: Ya’ll wanted a part two well here you go :) again thank you @yandereacademia for letting me use they’re headcanon to make this story! Also the original plot is changed for the stories sake.

~~~

2 months after you talked to your son

You still didn’t have the motivation to move. Only to go to the bathroom and maybe, MAYBE eat. What was the point in it all? Everything that kept you going in life was ripped away from you by the man known as Overhaul. He took away Eri and he took away your son. Well he took away your used to be son.

Once you found out that he was apart of Eri’s experiments you were distraught. The little boy you once knew was nothing but a monster walking in his father's shoes. And to think that this thing was from your own flesh and blood and doing such horrific things to a sweet innocent girl.

Both men came in once and awhile to see if you had any side effects from the test drug that they had given you. Long term or short term they just made sure to check. They soon noticed that your condition was slowly decreasing by the lack of sleep, water, and food you had.

You were a shell of your former self. If you looked in the mirror you were sure you wouldn’t be able to recognize yourself. You looked like a ghost. It was disturbing to see your once happy exterior turn into husk of a human.

The worst part of this nightmare was not knowing what they we’re doing to Eri. Where they still making the bullets? Did they finally stop hurting her? You unfortunately got your answer once you heard Mimic talking about how they we’re so close to making a million bullets.

They had started the horrific experiments when she was six. She was 15 now so knowing that for 9 year they continued hurting her made your stomach turn. All you wanted to do was escape out of this prison and run to her, tell her that your here and that everything will be okay. That you’ll protect her from the monsters that surround her.

The thought of Eri made you tremble in guilt. If only you were strong enough to protect her. Strong enough to run, run and never look back. You would never have to see the monsters that plague your dreams everyday. Never have to see your own flesh and blood turn even more into a monster than he already was.

All of a sudden your bedroom door slammed open and out popped Overhaul standing in the doorway with hives all over his skin and anger in his eyes. His gloved hands curled into fists as he stomped his way over to your spot in the corner.

“Where the fuck is Eri?!” He had grabbed you by the arm and yanked you up to your feet where he looked at you with his gold orbs. His grip on your arm hurt and you could feel his fingers digging into your flesh.

“I don’t know what your talking about-” A painful hit to the cheek is what you were met with when you let those few words out.

“Don’t fucking lie! Where is she damnit!” His fingers dig deeper only causing you to writhe in pain and whimper.

“I-I really don’t know! I haven’t left this room in 2 weeks!” You try to calm him down by telling him the truth but it seems like that wasn’t enough for him.

“If you don’t tell me the truth right now you end up being a bloody puddle on the floor.” You were about to retort back but soon realized something. If he killed you, you wouldn’t have to live this lifestyle anymore. Eri escaped and seems like she hasn’t been caught. That means the only thing you wished for has come true. So what's the point in staying here longer when your surrounded by people who hate you.

“I. Don’t. Know.” With a growl, Overhaul ripped off his glove and right when he was about to kill you, Nemoto came running in to tell the boss ‘good news’.

“We’ve found Eri! Last saw her down 2nd street!” Your face contorted in horror before you were thrown to the ground as Kai ran towards Nemoto and out the door.

Your body collapsed onto the carpeted floor before the sound of the door slamming shut made you whimper in fear. Your lifeless eyes scan around the room before a chuckle left your throat as tears of joy begin to roll down your cheeks.

“She escaped, I’m so happy...thank you...” Even in the dark room that you called your home, a little ray of happiness shined through the covered windows knowing Eri had escaped from this horrible place.

~~~

“They caught her again. She back at the compound. Overhaul told me to tell you.” You felt your soul break at the horrible news you were told. You knew something bad was gonna happen when you saw that your ‘son’ opened the door in the corner of your eye.

Seeing him makes you wanna throw up. Your once sweet boy had turned into a monster just like his father. He even made him tell you the horrible news that Eri was captured again. You knew there was gonna be a punishment waiting for her. You just hoped it wasn’t to bad but knowing Overhaul you didn’t know what to expect. Tears escaped down your face, your face still blank. Empty.

The silence was suffocating for the both of you. You could feel your sons presence still at the door. He was watching you. Watching as your unmoving body had tears spilling from your eyes. Watching as your hope was crushed once again. You couldn’t take it anymore. You couldn’t take the pain and suffering that was this life. You just wanted to end it all. Maybe death would be your only escape. The only thing stopping you was Eri. You just wanted to make sure that before you even do something like that, you wanted her to be in a safe haven. But it seems like even she can’t have that.

He had no words to say. What could he say to you? You had fully disowned him and looked at him with disgust. Looked at him like he was someone unworthy of love. You would always give Overhaul that look. The look of pure hatred. And now he was also on the receiving end of that look.

He hated it. Who were you to tell him what he couldn’t do? You weren’t there for him when-...oh..yeah...He remembered. He remembered the day where he ‘disowned’ you. He can still remember the look of pure heartbreak that shown through your eyes when he said those words.

He also remembered the cries of heartbreak that he heard on the other side of the wall. It kept him up a lot. Nightmares had plagued his dreams ever since the day you had disowned him. Your words repeated inside of his mind. Over and over again.

His nightmares were always the same. He’d be walking on some sort of street while it was raining. His feet making the puddles splash. His raincoat making pattering noises as the rain slipped off it.

He’d walk past a house and turn his head to look at it. It was a beautiful house, the grass lush and green with flowers planted right next to the house. No paint was chipped. The roof tiles were in perfect condition, not a single one missing.

Inside the window there was you. Holding a baby while singing to it. Rocking it gently back and forth. Singing the same song you use to sing to him when he was young. He remembered the tune so vividly but could not remember the words. Only the tune.

He walked up to the window to look inside of it, there sat a man. He didn’t recognize him at all. At least not where he was standing. The rain blurred his vision as it pounded against the glass window. He watched as the man got up from his seat on the couch to walk over to you and press a kiss to your cheek. He could hear your entire conversation.

“She’s so cute. What do you think she’ll turn out to be like?”

“Whatever she wants to be. I’ll support her all the way through. Give her all the love she deserves.” You gave the baby girl a kiss on the head, causing the baby to make grabby hands at you.

“I’m sorry about your son. He was gone too early.” What? No he didn’t! He was right here! He begin banging on the windows, begging for your attention.

“I’m not dead! Mom! I’m right here! Please! I’m sorry!” Tears would show through his eyes he felt a burning pain in his hands. His hands were gone. They chipped away, only leaving him with stumps.

“He doesn’t matter. He was a monster. A monster undeserving of my love. I’d never love someone like him.”

Then he would wake up.

He snapped outta it before looking at you once again. Still in the same spot as always. Letting out a sigh he begin to talk.

“I’ll...I’ll get you your food-”

“I want nothing from you. Nothing from you is worth eating. I’d rather starve than take anything you give me. Now get the fuck out of my room you monster.” Letting out a shaky exhale, he slowly closed the door. Watching as you didn’t make a move to look at him. Just as he closed the door Overhaul had appeared before him.

“What was her reaction?”

“She cried.”

“Of course she would have. Know this (S/N), never let anyone get close to you. It only leads to heartbreak and pain. Plus it’s annoying. Do you understand me child?”

“Yes Overhaul.”

“Good. Now come along, Eri’s about to get tested.” Nodding his head, he followed his father, following exactly in his footsteps.

~~~

1 week later

BANG! BANG! BANG!

The sounds of pounding on the walls woke you up from your slumber as you carefully maneuver yourself to take a peek out into the hallway. Your eyes widened when you see Overhaul subordinates running fast as they can down the hall and away from what seems like the front door.

Worry fills your being as you begin to move your head all around seeing if Overhaul was anywhere before making a mad dash to Eri’s room. Your footsteps echoing off the walls as tears brim at your eyes at the thought of seeing Eri again.

You went as fast as your week body could carry you. Feeling light headed from exercise since it’s been to long. But you would push through it. Push through it just to see Eri one more time.

“Eri?! Eri! Eri are where are you?!” You make it to her room before noticing that her door was already unlocked and opened. You wipe open the door before your met with an empty room. Your heart prayed for the best. Hoping that she had somehow escaped.

“Ma’am put your hands up!” You turn your head to see hero’s...

HERO’S!

You cried as you collapsed to your knees as you gave the best smile you could. Tears of joy spilled down your cheeks. You were saved. Saved from this nightmare that stole your life away.

“I don’t think she’s apart of this. Look at her, she looks so malnourished. Not to mention she seems happy to see us. Do you think that she was also a prisoner of Overhaul?”

“By the looks of her most likely. Get her to safety.”

“Wait! Please let me see Eri! Is she okay?! Please tell me she’s okay!”

“We’re going to get her ma’am don’t worry! We promise she’ll be okay!” A man came near you and gently took your hand while you slowly used your strength to get up.

“Let’s take her to safety.’

“Not yet! I wanna help!”

“Ma’am please-”

‘You said you're looking for Overhaul right?”

“Yes?”

“Well he has a son. His quirk is the same as him so you need to be careful. Overhaul has trained him to be just like him.”

“How do you know this?”

“He was my son before I disowned him. I don’t count him as a son. He was also part of the experiments that took place on Eri! Please arrest them all!” The hero’s looked shocked at your information but nodded their heads.

You were taken out of the compound where hero’s stood surrounding it. Most likely making sure that no one escaped through the front or back door. You could hear the sounds of the warfare inside the compound while you were outside. You crossed your fingers, begging for the hero’s to win and for Eri to be safe. And for those two men to be under arrest.

~~~

You were driven to the hospital before you got to see the ending of the fight ( a few days later)

You sat in the hospital bed with an IV in your arm. Trying to get you a bit more hydrated. You let out a sigh before a knock came at your door.

“Come in.” You move your eyes to see the door slowly opening before A familiar face showed behind it.

“Eri!” You sat up quickly and outstretched your arms and she came running into them. Tears of joys started falling down both of your cheeks. You hug her with all the strength you have and begin petting her head before placing a kiss on the top of her head.

“I miss you so much (Y/N)...Overhaul...he told....he told me you died...”

“Well there’s no need to worry Eri. I’m here with you right now and that’s all the matters. Those monsters won’t hurt you ever again. I’ll make sure of it.”

“Y-your son...he got arrested too...”

“That monster is not my son. If I would have anyone as a child I would rather it be someone I’m proud to call my own. Someone who’s stronger than all the heros combined. Someone like you Eri.” Eri started to cry in your hold. Hugging you tightly. The smile on your face never leaving as you weave your fingers through her hair gently.

“I missed you so much Eri. I’m so sorry that those monsters put you through that hell.”

“I missed you too. Promise you’ll never leave me?”

“I would never dream of it.”

“Miss (Y/N), I have some news about Overhaul and your son.” You felt Eri tense in your hold. Hugging you like the world would end if she let go of you.

“They were attacked on the bridge to Tartarus by the league of villains. They seemed to have some sort of feud before getting arrested because they’re attack was only towards them.”

“Well, what happened then?”

“Shigaraki Tomura, the Leader of the LoV, has taken both your sons, and Overhauls hands. They were lucky we got there i time or else they would have died of blood loss.” Your eyes widened at the nurses words before she spoke to you once more.

“Would you like to see them before they get put in solitary confinement? You only get this chance once for now.” Your breath hitched before you turn your attention towards Eri. You both look at one another before she spoke softly.

“You should go. Ask them if they’re finally happy. Ask them if it was worth it.” You sigh before turning your head to the nurse.

“Okay what time do I leave?”

“Right now.”

~~~

At Tartarus

You took a deep breath as you looked around the room. You were walked in with two guards as they brought you to the visiting area of the prison. Your heart felt like it was beating at 100 miles per hour.

You sat at the table looking around while you waited for them to bring out your son. Your nails tapping against the surface of the table. Your mind drifted on what were the words to say. You didn’t know what to say. You were hyping yourself up the whole way here but now that you arrived all of your idea’s left your mind.

You heard the door opening and you turned your head to see your son walking towards you. They were right. The better look you got at him the more you realize that they’re was no longer a difference between Overhaul and your son. Right down to the golden eyes and the lack of limbs.

“You get 20 minutes.” He sat down across from you on the table. His eyes refusing to look into yours.

“Look at me. I said look at me (S/N). I’m not going to ask again.” Your voice strict as your voice rings in his ears. He slowly lifted his head to look into yours. He saw someone he used to know. Your skin had started to glow again like it once did when he was young. Your eyes held emotion inside them instead of emptiness. You looked like his mother.

“Mom-”

“(Y/N)”

“...(Y/N), why...why are you here? I thought you would never want to see me or Overhaul again.”

“Was it worth it (S/N)? Was all the torture you put Eri through worth all this? Worth the 3 life sentences you have against you?” Your voice was harsh. Your words felt like fire against his heart. He knows he deserves everything your here to bring him. Every single thing.

“No...” You were taken aback by his honesty. He said it so quick with no hesitation. But you still had more questions that you had to ask.

“Why wasn’t it worth it? Is it because you got caught?” You put up a front of spikes that made his lip quiver. He knew crying would only lead to you thinking he was faking it. So he tried to hide it, but you could tell he was trying not to.

“Why wasn’t it worth it?”

“I lost everything that day. I lost my limbs, I lost my freedom, I lost any idea of ever living a normal life. And....”

“ANd what?” Tears started spilling down his face, landing on the table and forming a little puddle.

“And I lost you...I’m so sorry...please forgive me mother. I promise I’ll be better...please...” He finally broke down in tears in front of you. His whole body shaking as this was probably the first time he cried in years.

“You’ve lost your chances. You lost them the day I found out you were apart of Eri’s experiments. You are undeserving of forgiveness. What can you even do that would make me even think about forgiving a monster like you?”

“I don’t know....”

“That’s what I thought. You aren’t my son, your nothing but a monster.” You stand up before waving an officer, signalling you were done.

“Please don’t go yet...”

“Goodbye (S/N), maybe someday, or in another life, I’ll be you mother again. Someday I would be proud to call you my son. But until then, your his son. Not mine.” You turn your back to him before walking out the visiting rooms doors never looking back.

Taglist

@zuffer-weird-girl @hello-lucky-luka @thotsforvillainrights @uwuhuffelpuff @animexholic @freelyhappycycle @fan-girling-over-everything @gabbster22 @unknownarts @iwenttoshiratorizawa @nim-rose @ladyriri2006 @bakuhoes-bxtch @chrisrue15

#overhaul x reader #overhaul #mha #bnha #kai chisaki x reader #chisaki overhaul #bnha overhaul #chisaki kai #kai chisaki #shie hassaikai #kai #mha angst #overhaul angst #kai chisaki angst #bnha angst

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nohoney · 4 years ago

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Tell Me (When You’re Ready) - 4.2

warnings: 18+, drug use, polyamory, low key manipulation, toxic relationships

summary:

It was a hidden selfish offer he put out there, hoping on the slightest chance that he can become closer to you by becoming apart of the relationship if Touya approved. So when his offer gets the green light, he can’t help but feel a little bit giddy inside for the opportunity to become even closer to you.

Keigo loves being your friend, he genuinely does, but his desire for you is so strong that friendship can only wall off those feelings for so long.

4.1 ✧ 4.2 ✧ 4.3 ✧ 4.4

Since having met Touya, Keigo understood pretty quickly that his friend was the ‘no strings attached’ kind of guy when it came to girls. Not even a friends with benefits type of deal because hell, Touya didn’t really want friends. He was just a shameless guy who shamelessly used girls. So to learn that he’s chasing after one specific girl, going so far as to ghost half of the chicks he usually fucked, Keigo has to know who you are that’s got his friend entranced so much.

Before meeting you, Keigo had already known what you looked like naked and cock drunk after getting fucked. How fucking pretty you look with cum all over your face and how intoxicatingly cute you sounded as you backed up into Touya’s cock. Touya had no shame about sharing your nudes and the videos he recorded of the two of you, he’d done it plenty of times before. Just with you, instead of deleting them when he got bored they were saved into a folder on his phone.

Keigo just had to ask, “You got a crush on this girl?”

He’s not necessarily surprised that his question isn’t answered, just given a half hearted shrug before the line on the plate was snorted.

You’re definitely a pretty little thing that apparently that gives fantastic head and you’ve got a sweet cunt to match, that’s the impression that Keigo gets just from looking at photos of you. When you’re officially introduced to him, he gets why Touya became enthralled in you pretty quick. There’s an air about you that makes the people around you want to take care of you; it’s not that you’re an innocent virgin or inexperienced little girl that made Touya fall over for you, you’re just the type of girl that needs to be looked over and taken care of. That’s your purpose and the purpose you give to others because god, the award of just your smile and gratitude was just… enchanting.

You’re just begging to be possessed by someone and how fortunate for you that Touya’s the one you decide to give it a chance with.

Keigo had to admit silently to himself that it was a little amusing but also a little sad to watch Touya try to compute being sensitive and considerate to someone else’s feelings. But he cares about Touya so of course he helps him try to navigate the pitfalls of actually being tied down to someone. He hears both sides, the hardheadedness from Touya and the frustrations you bear from it but Keigo is there to help smooth things along.

He knows that he shouldn’t play therapist to you and Touya too often, you guys are adults and need to figure it out on your own, but he likes to see the two of you happy when things are calm for the time being up until another little mishap comes along again.

It’s so quick how it happens, considering that Keigo only met you so recently, but just like Touya he becomes more enamored by you as time passes by. When he’s alone with you, his heart flutters and he takes little moments to be close to you without breaking any suspicion that he wants more from you. More than just wanting you to bounce on his dick the way you do with Touya, he doesn’t want just sex from you, Keigo wants to own a piece of you too.

He thinks about fleeting moments with you, the little things you do with just him that Touya would be unable to do, and loves the sparkle you get in your eye when he does something as simple as get you a cup of coffee.

On the days that he’s not with you or Touya, when he’s busy with his own workload because he likes to keep busy, his breaks are spent just thinking of you. The texts you send back and forth to one another, a meme that’s an inside joke with you, and when he’s alone at night Keigo listens to the audio recordings of you getting fucked that Touya sent to him just the day before.

The few days that he doesn’t think about you at all are when he’s hyper focused on his work, needing Adderall to make sure that he’s ready for his upcoming presentation or upcoming exam that he feels he won’t do very well on. He works hard and focuses on what needs to be done for his courses, and when he’s all finished Keigo rewards himself by either thinking of you or contacting you for a little hangout.

Touya’s making good and sure that you’re bound to him, Keigo admittedly helping him in the process because he doesn’t want to be excluded from you and knowing that Touya won’t cut you off from him. You’ve got a pretty strong attachment to Keigo that actually warms his heart, you’re his little dove and Touya’s pretty doll.

Keigo is pretty sure that Touya is aware of his feelings for you, but he gives him the courtesy of coming clean to his friend. He’s admitting that he likes his friend’s girlfriend as more than just a friend and a sexual object. Touya doesn’t seem to react to his admission, further confirming that he most likely knew all along, but Keigo is surprised by Touya’s confession that he’s in love with you.

The guy that’s still fucks other girls on the side while dealing to them is in love with you.

At least it’s Touya’s version of love.

Keigo can see Touya’s anxiety, how he hides his codependency for you by always trying to ensure you’re right where he wants you and how unhinged he gets when it seems you’re gone too long. Sometimes he really does fear for Touya’s psyche and how fragile he actually is sometimes, such an apathetic guy getting hung up over one girl. He understands though because you’re Touya’s first love and as scared as he is of that feeling, he also doesn’t want to let it go so he’s grooms you to keep you by his side. Overt attention by always wanting to know where you are, verbal seduction and charming you with the cute names he gives you, physical isolation by always wanting to keep you at his apartment, and gift giving in the form of pills and powders that you’re actually craving more of but they keep you balanced, not too little and definitely not too much.

You have such soft boundaries so it was easy to capture you, he knows it’s wrong.

But Keigo can’t say he’ll stop himself or Touya from keeping you to themselves. They both treat you the same way, Keigo’s just a bit on the nicer side and a little more polished with his social skills so he flies a bit under the radar. The two of them guard you away from anything you shouldn’t know, things that you don’t have to know because there’s no reason for you to get involved in the first place. You learned pretty early on to not ask questions, even if the both of them can see that burning curiosity in your eye but you extinguish those feelings and do as you’re told.

You are such a good little bird.

Touya still struggles navigating his relationship and committing himself to you, so Keigo offers himself as a buffer. It was a hidden selfish offer he put out there, hoping on the slightest chance that he can become closer to you by becoming apart of the relationship if Touya approved. So when his offer gets the green light, he can’t help but feel a little bit giddy inside for the opportunity to become even closer to you.

Keigo loves being your friend, he genuinely does, but his desire for you is so strong that friendship can only wall off those feelings for so long.

He wants to care for you, wants to look over you, and wants to keep you happy.

“You’re so good Keigo… I love you so much. I’m so glad that we met Keigo, I’m so happy you’re in my life.” you told him while you’re at the peak of your roll at a house party Touya brought you to. He knows that you only took the tablet to forget about your anger towards your boyfriend but Keigo will gladly take all the affection you give him while you’re doped up on serotonin.

And the way you pulled him in to kiss you?

God, he knew that you were on but you couldn’t have done that with him without at least feeling a little bit something more than just friendship with him.

Now Keigo doesn’t want to shift the blame around… but Touya was the one that almost fucked up the arrangement. Of course you were going to get mad at Touya when you saw that hickey on his neck, it shouldn’t have been a surprise. But Keigo is familiar with his friend’s temper and has to talk him down when he insinuates breaking up with you, which is the last thing that either of them wants. “She just misses you, you gotta at least try to meet her in the middle. Are you really okay with her feeling like you’re ignoring her?”

Keigo knows that it’s really serious between the two of you as he commanded you to call him by his name instead of Dabi, both of them looking down on you as Touya thrusts his cock into your little pussy. He remembers your eyes looking back and forth between the two of them, probably still not comprehending what exactly was happening. He heard all of Touya’s words and your little sounds through the haze of his own come down, just enough blood rushing to his dick to get him hard but not enough where he can take up Touya’s offer to fuck you in the moment. He figured it was best though, that it wasn’t the right time for him to fuck your brains out when you just learned the truth of how he really felt about you.

It was a rough start but Keigo got inducted into the relationship although in the process he had accidentally revealed some information to you that Touya wasn’t ready to discuss with you yet. He just hated seeing you so upset over the other girls and when you had depreciated yourself into listing yourself as just one of the whores, he just had to tell you that you were more important to Touya than anything else. You technically weren’t wrong when you deduced that Keigo was being offered into the relationship for Touya’s peace of mind and to ensure you wouldn’t run off to anyone else.

“He feels you only deserved to get fucked by people who love you, those were his words.”

Those words had secured everything into place, even if he was never supposed to say it in the first place.

“Wait, did Touya actually say that he loves me? What kind of love are we talking about?”

Keigo couldn’t say anymore on that, it wasn’t his place to say anything.

“Do you love me Keigo and is that love the same as Touya’s?”

Nope, he accidentally cracked that door open and now you were trying to get a peek inside. And on top of ousting Touya, he also did it to himself as well. Touya was the one who said out loud that he loved you, not him… at least not yet. He definitely feels something more than just a friendly fondness for you, infatuation was probably the right word to describe it but not enough, just saying ‘liking you a lot’ doesn’t cover the foundation of what his feelings for you are. It’s much too abstract for him to label it but he guesses love could be the best word to describe it.

That first time he pushed his cock inside you, he felt like he was about to almost blow his load immediately into you. He just almost couldn’t believe that it was actually happening, he wasn’t fisting his dick in his hand while listening to another audio recording of you sent from Touya or fucking some annoying girl into her bed while wishing it was you; Keigo was actually fucking you himself. He also couldn’t help the slight satisfaction that you were so shy to have him join whereas with Touya you were so eager; you were so cute acting all bashful and so fucking sexy as you lost your mind over his dick.

And when Touya asked if you wanted Keigo to fuck you too and be with the both of them, he came earlier than he would have liked because he got so excited when you said that you wanted the both of them.

She wants me… she wants me!

After that ‘proper threesome’ and spending more time together as more than just friends, Keigo decides that he no longer guesses he loves you; he really does love you.

After months of silently pining, he gets to have you the same way Touya does. He doesn’t mind this whole polyamorous thing going on between the three of them, Keigo’s brought a balance to the relationship that Touya could never bring himself. It’s not to say that things are one hundred percent smooth since Keigo came in, but definitely not as rocky as before when it was just you and Touya. They get the (not so) occasional looks from people as you hold hands with the both of them, move to kiss one of them on the lips before going to the other, and then drop little innuendos that you want to get railed by the both of them.

Touya’s happy and Keigo’s happy.

And what’s most important is that you’re happy and you’re not leaving them.

Touya tends to worry himself into anxiety over that possibility and Keigo not as much, but it does creep on him on occasion.

There was one day Touya brings something new for all three of you to try: ketamine. Touya’s really into opioids and anesthetics so it seemed suitable for him whereas Keigo favors amphetamine and stimulants; one likes to be detached and relaxed versus the other that wants to be alert and energetic. Anesthetics aren’t really his thing but he’s willing to give it a try at least, just like he did with orgies and shrooms. Keigo tried them, thought it was decent and would think about doing it again if there was an opportunity.

So the three of you try it together and wait for it to settle in.

Like Keigo thought would happen, Touya really likes it. He sat on his side of the couch very comfortable and relaxed while you sat by his feet on the floor, looking like you were in a dream and floating in whatever happy sea that the tranquilizer had brought to you. Unfortunately for Keigo, he did not like it at all and he wondered what he did wrong for him to feel fucked up. He didn’t like feeling detached from his body and he felt anxious instead, sitting uncomfortably on his side of the couch and trying to calm himself.

He feels lazy and numb but not in the good way.

At that moment he craved coke more than ever to wake him up, wondering how many lines it would take to pull him out of this sea that he was drowning in. Then he feels a weight on his lap, he opens his bleary eyes and sees you right in front of him looking so concerned for him. “S’okay Keigo… we’re here. Don’t freak out.” you coo to him, dropping your hands on his shoulders and getting comfortable in his lap. Your movements are a bit lazy but he can see you trying your best to be present for him.

“Dove… no, M’fine…” Keigo drawls out and frowns at hearing his own voice.

His eyes gloss over your features and he thinks in that moment that you’re pretty, much too pretty for your own good. There was a guy he saw walking down the street the other day, a very handsome guy and then he’s suddenly pairing that random handsome stranger with you instead. Keigo doesn’t like the image he conjured in his head and he drops his head back against the couch.

Keigo feels one of your hands on the back of his head, carefully cradling his head as you bring it forward. He lolls a little bit and he still feels like he’s out of his own body, images of you with that handsome man still dance in his head and he feels like he’s in that scenario he’s imagining rather than being present with you as you comb your hand through his hair. “Don’ leave songbird… don’ go.”

“I’m here Kei… M’here.” your voice is so soft when you reassure him, though you look unsure yourself if your words were reaching him. “C’mere… let’s hold hands…”

With the best effort your could you settled in between the boys on the couch, leaning more towards Keigo’s side so that you could tend to him and Touya leaning towards you. His hands felt like it was two hundred pounds when you grabbed his, wondering how you got so strong when just yesterday you couldn’t open your water bottle because Touya screwed the lid on too tight. But you hold Keigo’s hand in your lap and Touya puts his hand over yours as well.

“We fucked up… I shoulda’ trip sit for you guys…” Touya says quietly, enjoying the effects of the ketamine but present enough to acknowledge the irresponsibility of the three of you experimenting with something new without someone to watch over you. “No more for the bird boy… he don’t like it.”

That was a huge understatement.

“How do you feel (Name)?”

“Kinda like… I’m drunk but not? It feels good for me but Keigo… I think he mighta’ done a little more than us and thas’ why he’s like this…”

You talk but Keigo still thinks about you and the handsome stranger together, his own anxieties forming in his chest and clawing him from the inside. Like he’s living in that hallucination in his mind, following the imaginary you as a ghost even though you were literally right next to him. He’s unable to freak out properly but he tries to concentrate, hating himself and the passage of time because goddamnit, he wants to be sober.

Much like how Touya swore off acid the first and last time he tried it, Keigo would never consume ketamine again. He probably really did take a little more than he thought he did because you and Touya had a positive experience while he was suffering. He read online later about some other people’s experience and some of them falling into the ‘K-hole’, an experience of extreme dissociation and severe sedation.

“God… never fucking again.”

He’ll stick to cocaine and Adderall, thank you. Neither of those things gave him anxiety or weird hallucinations about you running off with other people.

You doted on him for a while after that experience, like making his favorite foods and stopping by his lab to drop off coffee to him. He appreciated you going out of your way for him but it wasn’t necessary, you were the one that should be doted on. So with the little favors you did for him, he rewarded you back twice as much.

Of course he knows that your favorite rewards are the ones that leave your legs shaking and cum either oozing out of your cute pussy or painted on your body instead.

He likes working alongside Touya to make you go cock crazy when the three of you are together. It’s a little paradoxical how much they want to protect you but when it comes to sex, they just want to bully and make you cry so much. Your cute little hiccups when you beg that they be nice to you or the tears that gather on the rim of your pretty eyes as they overwhelm you the point of being unable to articulate anything else but their names, calling you a dumb little girl or a cock crazed bitch or a useless cumslut.

So fucking mean… but it feels so fucking good.

“Use me… use me please!” you cry out.

“Such a dumb little whore.” Keigo tuts at you while Touya fetches his belt and restrains your arms through the loops after making sure it’s nice and secure.

They fuck you like crazy, demeaning names coupled with little rewards as you helplessly let yourself be used and overloaded. And as mean as they are, they’re always extra loving afterwards. The first time you experienced a sub drop from them, it didn’t go very smoothly and they had to scramble because they thought the aftercare they provided before was enough. They’re whispering sweet praises and compliments for being such a good girl, more head pets and massages to relax you, squeezing hugs and loving kisses.

“Princess, you are so sweet… such a good princess.”

“Baby bird, our pretty little baby.”

When they’re sure that you’re all taken care of, they let you rest for however long you need to. They quietly leave the bedroom and they sit together, sometimes having a smoke together or making something to eat later on.

Touya returns from the balcony after having a cigarette while Keigo just sat inside and scrolled through his phone. He checked up on you just a few minutes ago, still finding you sound asleep and still leaving you be. Touya plants himself on the opposite end of the couch, exhaling and letting his head fall back against the cushions.

“I love her.” he says out loud.

“I know.”

“Do you think she loves us?”

“I’m pretty sure that with everything we’ve been through, she has to at least feel a little something like that.”

Touya turns his head to look at Keigo and asks, “Do you think she knows I love her?”

Yeah because Keigo is the one that accidentally told you.

He clears his throat and reaches for his glass of water, taking a few sips before setting it back down on the coaster. “Do you think you’re ready to tell her?”

“I’ve told her I loved her… just never to her face.”

Keigo didn’t exactly know what he meant saying that but he put a reassuring hand on his shoulder and told him, “Take the time you need man, I’m sure (Name) will be really happy when you decide to tell her.”

Keigo says that but he actually hopes that Touya will confess himself to you soon so that he can say it too. He wants to tell you that he loves you too, but he’s very aware that you probably want to reciprocate an ‘I love you’ to Touya first rather than him. After all, it was Touya that you got together with first so it seemed natural that you would trade those words with him before telling Keigo.

He can see that sparkle in your eye when you look at either of them, the way you look so fucking soft at them that he just wants to lay in bed naked with you and just hold you until the universe disintegrates. You put so much trust in them and you don’t even realize how much power you hold over them. They love you but the questions begs is if you love them back in the same way they do.

You must be, you wouldn’t be doing this with them if you didn’t at all.

It’s always hard to be the first one to put those words out there and honestly if Touya wasn’t in the picture, Keigo would have said them by now.

Don’t get him wrong, Keigo does love this three way relationship he has with you and Touya but sometimes there’s that small selfish part of him that imagines that it was just you and him. Touya got to date you by himself for a few months, just the two of you before Keigo was added in and Keigo knows that he’ll never have the chance to monogamously date you because he knows that you and Touya won’t let each other go. You’ve been reeled in, going against your intuition to leave him because you’ve made yourself to believe the infatuation and obsession he has over you is genuine love despite still fucking other girls and struggling internally with his own commitment to you.

But is Keigo’s love any different from Touya’s? It honestly isn’t, he can’t fool himself into thinking that he loves you any different than Touya; everything his friend does, Keigo would do the same, just the only difference being that if you told him to stop seeing other girls, Keigo would in a heartbeat. They obsess over you with the same intensity, dote on you the same, coddle the hell out of you and spoil you so much.

Keigo secretly loves when you go to him when Touya leaves to sell to the whores. He hates seeing you upset over Touya but he loves that you go to him to take your mind off of it. In those times he lies to himself and believes that you’re just dating him and him alone, that there’s no other person you’re in love with and all your devotion belongs to him. Keigo knows that Touya still struggles with his commitment to you, that as much as he loves you there’s also a voice that whispers in his head to sabotage things with you by still returning to the whores. And Keigo is there to tell his friend that one day he’ll stop seeing those other girls, that one day Touya will imagine his world without you if he continued to do what he does and that it’ll scare him so much that it really will just be you and only you.

Keigo hopes that when that day comes that he’ll still be around as well, that you’re feelings for him will be just as strong as you feel for Touya and you’ll want him to stay just as bad.

He’s apart of this too, he’s in love with you too.

When you’re in his bed with your knees pressed to your chest and your hands weakly holding onto the headboard he asks you, “Am I your boyfriend?”

“Yeah… Yes, you’re my boyfriend!” you mewl, eyes rolling to the back of your head.

His golden eyes are intense on you as he pulls those beautiful sounds from you, like he’s a conductor and you’re his choir. He twirls his hip a certain way and you cry out for him, he presses his thumb to your clit and you choke out a curse, he slaps one of your tits and you beg for Keigo to be a little more gentle. You were being such a coy little brat earlier, not following instructions when he told you to ride his cock the way he wanted you to, instead of getting him off you were using him for your own pleasures. And he would have spoiled you with all the orgasms you wanted had you not been such a cheeky little thing and had the audacity to call him your dildo as you rode him to your pleasure.

Keigo understands why Touya likes it so much when you’re a brat, you’ve got that crazed look in your eye as you anticipate punishment from either of them. That you know you’re being a little shit by acting defiant just so that they can assume control over you and fucking show that you’re not the boss around here, they are. They control whether or not you get to get off and if you do, it’s going to be by their rules and not yours.

Be a little brat, be a little whore… just keep on being ours…

“Who’s pussy is this little dove? Who does your pussy belong to?” Keigo grunts the questions as he drives his hips forward into your cunt. The bed creaks under the weight of his movements but your sounds are louder, garbled moans and cute hiccups as you try to find in your scrambled, fucked up brain the answer he wants to hear. He holds the back of your knees, skin slapping loudly against one another every time he pushes his length into you. “I asked you a question dove.”

“It’s yours Keigo! This pussy belongs to you!” you sob out as your hands lose grip on the headboard and fall limply above your head.

You’re such a radiating vision in that moment that Keigo’s heart jumps up into his throat, caught off guard by how much he’s enraptured by you. He has plenty of photos and videos of you in his phone, thousands of memories that play through in his head, and yet his heart still swells every time he sees how beautiful you are. Whether your hair is tied up or worn down, with or without makeup, wearing big sweats or pretty dresses, when you’ve got the happiest grin on your face or heartbreaking tears fall from your eyes, whether you’re just being yourself or navigating in the throes of something difficult for you, he always thinks you’re beautiful.

Chest heaving and broken sobs spill out of your pretty lips, you cum unexpectedly on his cock and he wonders himself what triggered you because he’s pretty certain that he didn’t do anything in particular. So he inspects you and sees how flustered you are, glassy eyes that look away in embarrassment, the cute way you use one hand to cover the lower half of your face and the other covering your breasts… you’re acting shy all of a sudden.

How adorable… but for what reason?

Keigo gently takes your hands and pins them down onto the bed, his grip firm to ensure you won’t go anywhere but not too tight. You try to turn your head away but he follows, capturing you in a kiss and cherishing how you moan against his mouth. Your pussy clenches around him and he pulls back, a line of drool connecting your lips together. “Baby bird? Are you okay?”

You nod your head and look up at him through your lashes, you’re so demure when not too long ago you were acting like a little brat.

Something changed but Keigo doesn’t know what.

“Kei… fuck me please.”

So he does, releasing your wrists and bracing one arm by your head while the other grabs the headboard. Keigo’s body shivers slightly as your arms go up and he feels your hands lay flat on the upper of his back, the tips of your fingers just pressing slightly down on muscles that almost makes him like jelly. His weak spot was right there and you knew what you were doing when you touched him there.

He thinks about the conversation you had with him and Touya, the one where you talked about if they both had super powers. It intrigued him when you told him that you could imagine him having wings as his power, it inspired him a little to consider getting wings tattooed on his back. You always admired Touya’s own minimal tattoos and he can imagine your awe if he were to get his own ink designed into his body as well.

Keigo fucks you roughly enough where you head begins to bounce against the headboard but you’re uncaring since it doesn’t hurt too much. You might get a little headache later on but he’ll be there to nurse your little head.

“Touch yourself baby bird, play with yourself…”

When you play with your clit, your pussy quivers around his cock and it’s only a few more pumps until the both of you finish together. He presses his face into the crook of your neck and groans lowly, the timber of his voice making you shudder beneath him. Quiet panting as the two of you catch your breath, Keigo reaching blindly for the shirt he tossed off earlier so that he could use it as a cum rag. He pulls out quickly and you whimper, letting his cum ooze out of your little pussy.

“Make sure to pee baby bird.” he reminds you.

“Yes Keigo…”

You wash up in his bathroom, your favorite shampoo and conditioner set along with your body wash sit in his little shower caddy that hangs from the shower head. Music plays from your phone as you clean up while Keigo is in his kitchen and setting up some snacks to eat for when you come out. Touya is going to return soon, making a delivery in downtown and meeting up with Shigaraki in the meantime.

He should be here any minute.

Keigo hears his hair dryer being used, louder than the music playing from your phone from where he stands. You told him how you want to style his hair differently the next time there’s a date night and he looks forward to it.

Emerging from the shower refreshed and clean, you come out wearing a pair of comfy sweats and a little tank top that hangs a little low and shows off your cleavage. You’re not trying to be sexy, it’s just comfortable loungewear for you. Refreshed from cleaning up, you help Keigo put the snacks on the coffee table as well as pour a cup of coffee for Touya when he arrives. Feeding each other chips and popcorn, Keigo cuddles you as the two of you watch a comedy together.

The lock to his door turns and Touya enters, taking off his jacket and leaving his boots by the front door. He goes straight to you, a sign that he hadn’t sold to one of his whores because if he did, he would have just gone straight to the restroom to wash off whatever perfume the bitch was wearing. You’re happy to see him, pecking him on the lips and letting him lay his head down in his lap while Keigo has his arm around your shoulder.

It feels nice, just the three of you.

Touya will talk to Keigo later about what happened with Shigaraki, if there is anything at all to say. But for now, he enjoys the hand you have on his knee while your other one massages Touya’s scalp.

At some point Touya turns his head, his nose pretty close to your crotch and he takes a small sniff. “I can smell Keigo’s cum in you doll. You sitting here still stuffed with cum?”

You’re embarrassed and try to push Touya’s head away. “I-I swear that I washed most of it out while I was in the shower! I just didn’t want to have to change my panties twice in a day if I kept it in me and-”

Touya chuckles and taps his finger on the tip of your nose. “I’m just kidding princess but now I know that you were being a little whore again while I was away.” It’s said in jest and it makes Keigo laugh as well as you squawk at him, pushing at Touya’s head and demand that he take his ass to the shower because you claim that he stinks. Keigo continues to snicker as Touya does as he’s told, knocking his head slightly on the way before shutting the bathroom door.

You take the bowl of chips that’s almost empty and head to the kitchen for a refill, mumbling about how dirty Touya was.

Keigo follows you, hearing the shower running inside the bathroom and knowing that he has to say this quickly since Touya doesn’t take very long showers. So he puts an arm around your waist and pulls you to him, softly calling your name to get your attention. You look up at him and wonder what he wants to say, noticing the change of tone in his voice.

Touya can take the time he needs for his own confession, Keigo wants to let you know now.

“I love you.”

Your eyes widen slightly in surprise and your mouth drops a little, clearly not anticipating that he would say such a thing. But then a happy smile comes onto your face and Keigo is relieved to see a positive reaction, his heart would have been broken if you had given him anything else. He can see that you’re trying to say it back but you hesitate as your eyes shift to the bathroom door and he already knows why; you want to tell Touya you love him first before saying it to Keigo.

It’s okay, you’re worth the wait.

“You don’t have to say it back right now, I just wanted to let you know dove.”

Because now that he thinks about it, that reaction you had earlier in his bed, he could see that shift when he replays it in his head. You must have realized it then with his cock buried in you that you were in love with him too, not just with Touya. He’s buried deep in your heart now and he’s not as fearful that you’ll let him go and choose him over Touya, he needs to be in this relationship in order for you and Touya to thrive.

You’ll choose them both because you know that you need both him and Touya.

Even if sometimes he still imagines that it was just you and him, Keigo knows that it’s better that he share you with Touya than not have you at all.

“Will you say it again Keigo?” you ask quietly, your eyes shining with a new light that makes Keigo’s heart swell. He knows you love him back and he’ll patiently for you to return those words back to him when you’re ready, he looks forward to it. He leans in close to your ear, whispering it so smoothly as your whole body shudders in pleasure.

“I love you.”

#hawks x reader #takami keigo x reader #takami x reader #dabi x reader #todoroki touya x reader #hawks smut #bnha x reader #bnha #tw drugs #tw toxic relationship #us series

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spamzineglasgow · 5 years ago

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Bon Iver’s hauntological i,i (William Fleming)

Image Copyright: Bon Iver / Jagjaguwar

In this essay, William Fleming takes a detailed look at bon iver’s new album, i,i: through acid communist hauntology to oedipal melancholia and the future’s cybernetic fracture.

> This week I’ve been reading Mark Fisher and listening to Bon Iver’s new album on repeat so I combined the two.

> Mark Fisher, in his Ghosts of My Life (2014), laments the dearth of creativity in popular music after the turn of the century, the loss of experimentation and of hearing something New and Radical, and the persistent replication of past methods, sounds and images. Fisher was no Adorno though (I don’t think anyway?). His essays are emotive and developed from a deep desire for a compassionate politics; Ghosts evokes the pathos of his seminal Capitalist Realism (2009). One of the key themes associated with his work on pop culture, is the use of the Derridean term ‘Hauntology’: the haunted ontology of futures that never came to be, the spectral disturbance of time and place as the possibility of political becoming dissipates. As he details in Ghosts, Fisher initially used hauntology as a genre-defining term for music. He identified artists which were 'suffused with an overwhelming melancholy; and they were preoccupied with the way in which technology materialised memory', this results in us being made 'conscious of the playback systems’ and of ‘the difference between analogue and digital’, 'hovering' out of reach behind the media’. Fisher uses this conceptual framework to analyse a raft of musicians and their work but there is a consistent emphasis on the political narratives of class and race which shape these cultural offshoots.

> Despite being one of the biggest records of this summer – and thus perhaps a bit bait for me to discuss? – Bon Iver’s i,i bares all the hallmarks of the hauntological genre: melancholia, the clash of digital and analogue, anachronism, the suggestion of political solidarity, artistic experimentation.

> First a confession: I first listened to Bon Iver because, in 2011, there was a girl on twitter I fancied who posted a video to Birdy’s Skinny Love. Birdy’s rendition is a wisp of a song, sad and grasping and completely lost on a shallow sixteen-year old and probably rightfully so. Failing to select the next song, I’m guessing Bon Iver’s original version played. For the first time I felt I’d discovered adult Sad Music. None of the ghd straightened, dip-died, angst-ridden emo tunes I’d gotten into a few years prior to impress my first girlfriend; or the one ballad acting as the penultimate track on one of the indie-rock albums from my older brother’s excessive collection. (- Does anyone know how to recycle these properly?). I would wallow in performative sadness playing immediately gratuitous and instantly gratifying XBOX games, quickly repeating the heartbeating guitar of Lump Sum on For Emma, Forever Ago or the wails of Holocene from Bon Iver, Bon Iver as I pined for my yet-to-be second girlfriend.

> I went off Bon Iver for a few years: these days, the quiet acoustic melancholia of these first two albums doesn’t fit with any aspirational sense of masculinity of mine. Being a man and being non-toxically emotional isn’t about listening to acoustic guitars and barely audible snares whilst you lie sulking in your room or on the drizzled walk to the library or job you hate. Instead it’s about communication, solidarity and empathy – ‘I’d be happy as hell, if you stayed for tea’. And so, when 22, A Million came out I was into it. Everyone thought it was a bit shit the first time few times they listened to it but this gave me cover to pretentiously purvey that they just didn’t get it and listen to it over and over. It was still the same anguished voice of Justin Vernon – but it was finally coming to life. Revived through stretched synthesizers, neologisms which made you question the contributors on A-Z Lyrics, and deconstructed bass. The piano riff on 33 “God” interrupted by alien helium-infused voices and the stammering, looping saxophone of 45 are still highlights. Listening now, 22, A Million initiated the hauntology of Bon Iver.

> At times, i,i feels like Bon Iver’s latest album is a playback of their first album, but one done through a signal sent by an analogue walkie-talkie found on the abandoned spaceship from Alien: Isolation – itself maybe the most harrowing video-game I’ve ever played, one which is played in constant anticipation of being found. Listen to the intermittent signal of Holyfields,: the bleeps and radio fuzz a beacon we sent out into space, only for it to sporadically and hauntingly talk back at us – a cultural SOS signal.

> i,i is the same guitar riffs from albums one and two but cybernetically fractured through time. The same syncopated kick drum but ripped out from the mid noughties and dumped in a Iain M. Banks novel or an episode in Love, Death + Robots. Fisher, quoting Derrida, quoting Hamlet: ‘the time is out of joint’. In these time fractures, it’s not just the music’s original location which is torn into the future, but also objective fragments of past culture: the sax (Sh’Diah) and violin strings (Faith) torn from eras when politics and music were still intertwined.

> The first track on the album, Yi, is garbage. But it is orbital astro-garbage – a notable anthropocenic feedback loop! – sitting uncomfortably at the stratosphere of an album which explicitly reflects on ecological destruction. Yi’s inaudible conversation and the ‘Are you recording, Trevor?’ set it up as a soundcheck for the album too. Including a soundcheck evokes Vernon’s emphasis on the album as a performance piece in the accompanying mini-documentary Autumn. In the doc, Vernon mentions the problem of ‘How is it going to be played live?’. Immediately, we are forced to imagine i,i as more than just another album on Spotify.

> Yi bleeds into iMi, a psychedelic echo of a track built from interspersing a melancholic vocals/arpeggio combo and an encroaching synth/dub beat combo. We is similarly eclectic, digitalised vocals juxtaposing with endearing, major-key sax. Following is Holyfields,, perhaps the most alien but most beautiful song on the album.

> Hey, Ma is the headline single from the album. An ode to Vernon’s mother and a sense of the sunrise walk home after the summer party (I’ll try and avoid further seasonal references: the four albums are set up to represent the four seasons, i,i being autumn, but IMO this is pretty naff).

> There is a sense of time passing in Hey, Ma, a nostalgia for the yet to be – ‘Well you wanted it your whole life’ – but with this passing is a sense of desire – ‘I wanted all that mind, sugar / I want it all mine’ – and of becoming or evolving – ‘You’re back and forth with light’. Becoming is the famous Deleuzean postmodern motif; i.e. being is constantly flowing and reforming. Bon Iver’s becoming, however, is not a flow, but a hauntological wrench into the future state. The entire album feels as though you’re experiencing the tech-enhanced evolution of Bon Iver’s music. That skipping between soft indie and futuristic synth reminiscent of the OG Pokemon games when your Pokemon was evolving and it would flicker between its past and future states. But becoming is never complete. As Fisher highlights, ‘futuristic’ no longer refers to a time/space but is now merely an adjective. We’ll never hear the Bon Iver made entirely on digital tech.

> For Fisher, melancholia is a productive force of political resistance. He distances his ‘hauntological melancholia’ from that of Wendy Brown’s ‘left melancholia’ which ‘seems to exemplify the transition from desire (which in Lacanian terms is the desire to desire) to drive (an enjoyment of failure)’. Fisher’s melancholia, ‘by contrast, consists not in giving up on desire but in refusing to yield'. Under scrutiny, Bon Iver’s first two albums fail this melan-test – they are a spectacular, self-pitying self-indulgence. Self-pity as a common form of masochism. For Deleuze, thinking through Jung, thinking through Bergson (yeap, I know), masochism is always regressive, flipping the Oedipal on its head as a form of un-becoming.

> Is Vernon’s song to his mother a masochistic form of melancholia; a self-pitying reversal of the Oedipal? ‘I wanted a bath / “Tell the story or he goes”’; ‘Tall time to call your Ma / Hey Ma, hey Ma’. The type captured by Maggie Nelson in The Argonauts (2015) when reflecting on Ginsberg’s poem Kaddish, which is dripping in, in Nelson’s words, ‘misogynistic repulsion’. Or is Bon Iver’s a hauntological melancholia? One of stubborn resistance. The type of mother-son relationship photographed by Donald Weber in his response to Alison Sperling and Anna Volkmar’s conversation on the post-atomic (Kuntslicht, 39: 3/4). Weber’s photographs were taken over two years in Chernobyl. The, now fetishised, explosion in Chernobyl perhaps the example of the nuclear, a hauntological theme post-WWII, made material. The bursting of a political, biological and biopolitical reality which was never meant to be. Weber’s photo of a middle-aged man and his elderly mother is captioned: ‘Mothers sought to be photographed sitting close to their sons, in domestic scenes of proud companionability. Their eyes signal an unalterable communion. And more – elevation. A man’s mother transcends the material order, and rises easily above even the most squalid circumstances. It is the frank declaration of her biological supremacy: This is my child’. If it is this relationship captured in Hey, Ma, it may promise a spectre which can be made material. An artefact which can continue its evolution, its becoming. ‘Let me talk to em / Let me talk to ‘em all’.

> Finally, that Hey, Ma’s nostalgia is a culturally productive one is suggested by one of its more memorable lines: ‘I waited outside / I was tokin’ on dope / I hoped it all won’t go in a minute’. In Fisher’s posthumously published Unfinished Introduction to Acid Communism, he, when imagining the process of resistance and a new politics whilst citing Jefferson Cowie, writes 'these new kinds of workers – who “smoked dope, socialised interracially, and dreamed of a world in which work had some meaning” – wanted democratic control of both their workplace and their trade unions’. The curious, outdated use of ‘dope' in Vernon’s lyrics then mirrors Cowie’s use of 'dope', echoing Cowie’s nostalgia for a lost working-class culture of 1970s America. Fisher uses Cowie’s argument to piece together an acid communism, which I will return to, but this, surely consequential, similarity further constructs i,i as a contemporary hauntological album.

> Following Hey, Ma comes the Sunday-school piano of U (Man Like). Raising an image of a crisply ironed, white America, like that depicted in Robert Putnam’s Bowling Alone (2000), which acts as a reminder that nostalgia isn’t always productive. However, the nostalgia is continued with Naeem ‘Oh, my mind, our kids got bigger/ … / You take me out to pasture now’. Fisher asks ‘is hauntology, as many of its critics have maintained, simply a name for nostalgia?’. However, he argues that it is not a ‘formal nostalgia’ but one of solidarity and of a longing for the process of social improvement. Naeem, despite its nostalgia, continues the flickering between hope and despair. The joyful ‘More love / More love / More love’ and ‘I can hear, I can hear’; the anguished ‘I can hear crying’ and ‘What’s there to pontificate on now? / There’s someone in my head’. The latent and angelic child-like choir on Naeem another hauntological theme. As Fisher declares, ‘no doubt there comes a point when every generation starts pining for the artefacts of its childhood’. However, Vernon’s evoking of childhood is one perhaps linked to the, at times damaging, trope of ‘future generations’ in environmentalism. It is still a political longing though – ‘I’d Occupy that’. Occupy: that great post-2008 political uprising which dissipated into a mere exemplar in an undergraduate geography textbook.

> Next, Faith brings back the aliens from 33 “God” but this time, for attention, they’ve brought their clean guitar and slowly morph into the catholic choir we began to hear on Naeem. God died and, despite the sexy, liquidity of our modernity, we miss him.

> Marion momentarily brings us back from the cybernetically fractured semi-future. Back to the £3-coffee coffee-shop where you’re telling your friend that you think you and that girl will probably get back together but you need the time to be right. The hope is sucked back out; we’re back in capitalist realism and Arctic Monkey’s fourth (fifth?) album. Luckily, Salem restarts the signal to bring us back from our self-pity, dragging us to the obfuscation we were enjoying. Salem’s witches are still here and they’re pretty good at Ableton.

> Next, Sh’Diah grows from an autotuned prayer – ‘Just calm down (calm down) / And she’ll find time for the Lord’ - into a yearning saxophone riff/rift. But, alas, RABi, the album’s final song, returns us to a blues guitar and Vernon’s vocals. If the oscillation between past and future throughout i,i was a dialectic, the depressing outcome is ‘consumer capitalism’s model of ordinariness' (Fisher) of the neoliberal present. As in Fisher’s hauntology, the technologically-infused creativity of i,i is a lost future. Watching Vernon being interviewed feels like this. He’s got the Pacific-North-West hipster look: vegan but drives a V6 truck. Goes to the craft brewer’s bar and talks about that latest public health campaign to encourage men to talk about mental health over a pint but refrains from actually talking about depression. (Maybe serving beer in 2/3rd schooners means you never end up getting to the important part of the conversation?)

> But why does it matter? Because it’s about political and cultural (and creative) imagination. Fisher’s last big, and tragically but appropriately unfinished, philosophy is that of Acid Communism. Maybe there is a future !

> Fisher mourned not only the flattening of pop music, but also the ‘culture constellated around music (fashion, discourse, cover art)’. In contrast to a digital album which you never perceive in any physical manner, Bon Iver have emphasised various forms of art in their work, ensuring a communal creativity. There are multiple iterations of the album cover art on public posters and on social media. More excitingly though, is the collaboration with WHITEvoid, a Berlin-based sculpture group/company, which is discussed on Autumn. Prepared for live performances, WHITEvoid have constructed an ensemble of floating mirrors and kinetic lighting made from ‘space-age metal’ and motion tracking sensors. An artistic contribution as ethereal and tech-enhanced as the accompanying music and one which aestheticises our material sciences. The lighting provided by WHITEvoid in collaboration with the experimentation in sound system, similarly shown on Autumn, constructs the performance of i,i as an ongoing innovation and experimentation. The effort put into the upcoming live performances of i,i ensure that it is a music to be experienced not merely consumed. In another discussion on Autumn, Michael Brown, Bon Iver’s Artistic Director, says ‘you have to be in the moment with other people, you have to be able to know that the person next to you is having the same communal experience’.

> In Krisis (2018:2), Matt Colquhoun sees acid communism as a “project beyond the pleasure principle” (2) and of an “experimental” politics. If the sounds of i,i are hauntological, then the spectre it suggests is one of acid communism. The acid is provided by its accompanying artistic experimentation and the communism is its emphasis on the political and the communal.

Text: William Fleming

Published 30/8/19

#SPAM #essays #music criticism #bon iver #ii #Mark Fisher #acid communism #hauntology #Derrida #capitalist realism #ghosts of my life #William Fleming #essay

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youngboy-oldmind · 4 years ago

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ALBUM REVIEW: Revival

“It’s true, I’m a Rubik’s. A beautiful mess/At times juvenile yes. I goof and I jest/A flawed human I guess”

Detroit legend and highest-selling rapper of the decade, Eminem, releases his eighth (ninth if you count Infinite) album Revival: a project that is over hated, yet plagued with cringey lyrics, inconsistency, and an excessive runtime (77 minutes), propelling his decline and mainstream hate that’s haunted him since the late 2000s.

Overall thoughts

I say this with pain because I genuinely think this project could’ve been comparable to Jay-Z’s 4:44. Both rappers have been successful since the 90s and they both know their best is behind them. However, Jay-Z hit the mark where Eminem vastly missed. BUT, this isn’t a review of 4:44. Unfortunately, this is a review of Eminem’s controversial 2017 project: Revival.

Revival misses the mark for several reasons. First, the songs he chose for pre-release singles turned off fans from the jump. He pre-released “Walk on Water”, which captured the interest of fans who appreciate Eminem’s calmer, more introspective side. However, his second single release “Untouchable” made me hesitant to expect this album to revive Eminem’s career. This song isn’t strong enough to headline the album. At best, it’s a little annoying. And at worse, its skippable in 60 seconds. Furthermore, it was a political song, so any listeners that disagreed with his message immediately disassociated from the project.

Second, his lyricism is weak throughout the album, downright offensive at some points. Not offensive like its edgy or has shock value. Offensive like I can’t believe he made me listen to such shtty similes and metaphors. Contenders for the worst lines include but are not limited to:

“Instinctive nature to bring the anguish to the English language/ With this ink you haters get rode on (wrote on), like a piece of paper”

“I’m looking at your tight rear like a sight seer/ Your booty is heavy duty, like diarrhea”

“I just bodied the beat, so that hole must’ve been dug/Cause it just died, like food coloring does”

Along with weak metaphors, he also uses his signature play-on-words style to create painstaking lines such as

“The plan’s to bring her to my house/You’re drinking Jack and Beam, I’m thinking soon this tramp’ll lean (trampoline) so we can bounce”

“From the first time I saw you, I actually/Said to myself, ‘I gotta meet her’ (meter) like a taxi”

“I ask does she want a computer lodged in her vagina/Said my dick is an apple, she said put it inside her (in cider)”

Some of the vocal performances were painful as well. On “Chloraseptic” and “Untouchable”, he straight up lets out ridiculous drawn out yells. I have difficulty accepting that the producer of those tracks and long-time friend of Eminem, Denaun, heard him make those noises and didn’t tell him on how bad it sounds.

Third, and most importantly, Eminem’s tone is extremely inconsistent throughout the project. I wouldn’t be as critical towards the goofy songs if Eminem set and maintained one tone. He began the album with “Walk on Water”, discussing the stress of constant scrutiny and how unrealistic expectations make him doomed to fall short. This is a great topic to talk about as someone who was 18 years into his fame. But then, he begins topic ping-pong for almost an hour, switching back and forth between maturity and childishness, (with some high spots that I’ll discuss later). You cannot complain that people stress you out with high expectations, and then make songs that’s just punchlines revolving around breasts, butts, and vulgar sex.

Logic has great examples of priming your expectations and tones. He makes it clear when a project is a concept piece, like Incredible True Story or Everybody, or when he’s just having fun, like Bobby Tarantino I & II. Because Eminem keeps switching between serious songs and dumb songs, it makes everything seem disingenuous. For example, on the song “Like Home”, he basically rips Donald Trump a new one, going so far as to compare him to Hitler. But on the song “Heat” he makes a joke that he agrees with Donald Trump that women’s privates are supposed to be grabbed, which is why “they call it a snatch”. You can’t criticize the president in one song and then agree with them in the next, even if you’re joking. You can have fun songs and serious songs, but they should keep the album’s tone consistent.

Okay, I’m done criticizing, cause there are some great things about this album. “Walk on Water” was a great intro to the album. “River” is great collab between Ed Sheeran and Eminem. While the content of “Remind Me” is unremarkable, Rick Rubin delivers on the beat, creating an entertaining chorus that samples Joan Jett and the Blackhearts’ “I Love Rock n Roll”. I will give credit to “Offended”, which is ambitious to say in the least. I skipped it on first listen but it actually grew on me. And of course, the final two tracks “Castle” and “Arose” are the album’s peak.

If Eminem would’ve shaved the track list to 9 songs instead of 19, weeding out the childish/forgettable songs and making it more tonally consistent, this album would be much better. My ideal Revival album would be:

1. Walk on Water

2. Believe

3. River

4. Like Home

5. Tragic Endings

6. Nowhere Fast

7. Offended

8. Castle

9. Arose

This would bring the runtime down to 40 minutes instead of 77 minutes. At 45 years old, 8 albums into his career and 18 years in the game, Eminem doesn’t have 77 minutes’ worth of material to talk about. And it shows.

I mentioned earlier that this project is over hated. Although there are things I strongly dislike about this project, it isn’t nearly as bad as media and music reviewers describe it. Two of his previous projects, Encore and Relapse, were much worse than Revival. I think it’s an exaggeration to call Revival the worst of his career, but it is definitely indication of a decline.

Album Breakdown

“Walk on Water” ignites the album with an emotional piano ballad, Beyonce’s beautiful vocals on the chorus, and Eminem’s surprisingly self-exposing verses. He talks about the pain of having a section of hip hop disregard him, while having another section constantly hold him to a standard he feels like he’ll never reach again. It’s more melodramatic than what I expect from an Eminem song, especially the dramatic pause at the beginning of the first verse where he dramatically asks “why.........?”. Seeing Eminem express vulnerability instead of constantly acting like a god gave me hope.

But then...I heard the last 5 seconds, and I knew I was in trouble.

“Cause I’m just a man/

But as long as I got a mic I’m godlike/

So me and you are not alike/

B***h, I wrote ‘Stan’”

This transitions into “Believe”, a track that carries on the topic from the previous song but establishes that he is not self-conscious and knows he’s superior in the rap game, asking the audience if THEY believe in him. It’s disappointing to see him abandon vulnerability so quickly. It took five minutes and four seconds for Eminem to backtrack and basically say “Nah, I can reach every height. You guys just need to believe in me”. Like he’s blaming critics and fans for his decline, not his skills or style. I did not care for this shift. And speaking of shifts, we hear Eminem’s first attempt at a trap beat, which sounds off with his rapping style. He’s constantly taking odd pauses to squeeze in rhyme schemes. Not the worst song, but already starting the contradictions to the initial tone of the album.

Eminem’s second attempt at a trap beat, “Chloraseptic”, was painful. I can’t sugar coat it. Half of the time I had no clue what he was saying, and the half that I could understand had no substance. He mocks Migos’ style, using adlibs, shouts, and voice bites that make him sound old and desperate to fit in modern trap music. Over his career, Eminem’s best tracks have either a rock sample or a piano melody. But this is clear evidence that very few Eminem tracks should be trap songs.

As I mentioned earlier, “Untouchable” was released early as a single. This song was painful because I knew what he was going for. So it sucks to be distracted by the subpar delivery. The rock guitars and harmonized vocals in the chorus hit my ears too hard, making me wince and decrease the volume at the chorus. Eminem’s verses have him shouting/teasing “white boy, white boy” “black boy, black boy” which is too immature for someone of his status and stature. And there’s a line in the first verse where he says “then we wonder why we see this side of youuuuuuuuuuuu”, drawing out the last word in this painful, awful voice that definitely should’ve been scrapped. In the second half of the song, the instrumental switches from a hard rock sample to a piano melody that illustrates a sense of anxiety. Also, in the last verse, he switches perspectives and talks as a black person under systematic oppression. While I appreciate the effort, it doesn’t really translate into anything emotionally because his solutions to these problems are shallow.

He talks about police brutality and systemic racial issues. The problem is it’s all surface level. Someone with his age and experience should be able to add more to the discussion. But he comes through with messages like “We need to hire black cops and stop putting cops in neighborhoods they are unfamiliar with. This country was built on slaves. It’s unfair Kaepernick got hate for kneeling during the national anthem. Racial profiling is the cause of violence”. These are things I was able to articulate as a middle schooler. But he delivers these thoughts like he’s speaking from the woke-est perspective the world’s ever seen. When in reality, there are tweets that hold more substance. And because of this, Eminem’s yelling doesn’t feel like anger. It just feels loud and misguided.

Fortunately, we then transition to one of the stronger songs on the album, “River”. He discusses a toxic relationship filled with cheating, lies, and an abortion. Eminem has always delivered good bad-relationship songs, so I’m not surprised another one is one of the best on the album. Ed Sheeran’s singing on the chorus is dope, especially at the end when the instruments drop at the end and Sheeran’s tender vocals cap off the track. Cannot complain; its easily the best track so far.

“Remind Me” is the first goofy track on the album. Eminem is taking a break from serious topics like meeting other’s expectations, success and failure, police brutality, and a devastating relationship, to talk about a girl with “implants so big” she could hang him up on her rack, with her “big ol’ tits”. This song is only tolerable because Rick Rubin’s sample was fun to hear. Otherwise, this song is unbearable.

“Like Home” is his next political song. He takes a patriotic stance while criticizing President Trump. And that’s about it. Pretty much a diss track where he spent 8 lines setting up a Hitler punchline and then calling Americans to unite against Trump. Alicia Keys sings the chorus but its nothing heart stopping. Definitely one of the more forgettable songs simply because it wasn’t painful to listen to.

The thing about bad songs or forgettable songs is that if you string too many together, they become more difficult to tolerate. So I’m coming off the heels of the annoying “Remind Me” and forgettable “Like Home”, when I get to “Bad Husband”. Here, he’s talking about how bad he was to Kim, his ex-wife. This song seems good on paper, but two things make it bad: X Ambassadors on the chorus and X Ambassadors on the chorus. X Ambassadors and Eminem do not fit well. Their loud style doesn’t fit the quiet, soft vocals that Eminem implements. It’s also hard to take Eminem’s apology seriously. On the chorus, X Ambassadors call him a 1) lord 2) good father 3) good dad 4) great father. No genuine apology contains repeated self-appraisal. Imagine if someone hits you with their car and says “Wow, I’m such a bad driver. I’m a great manager. Great parent to my kids. I donate to the local homeless shelter. And I baby sit for free. But I’m such a bad driver.” Is that really an apology?

And to that note, I’d take being hit by a car over hearing X Ambassadors on the chorus.

“Tragic Endings” picks up the album. Skylar Grey is amazing on the chorus. The entire song sounds like a sister of “Love the Way You Lie”. This talks about a toxic relationship with someone who doesn’t encourage him. I’m not surprised he once again hits a high point with a bad relationship song. Eminem’s verses are alright, and the instrumentation carries the same tragic-ness that surrounds the content of his verses. Skylar Grey and Eminem have collaborated on multiple songs over the years and they tend to compliment each other well.

Side note: There’s a curse in this album that’s wreaking havoc. After a certain number of bad songs, my appreciation for a song comes from the fact that it doesn’t make me want to take off my headphones. I’m approaching every song with “it can’t get worse than its already gotten”.

Then it got worse... “Framed”. With an instrumental possessing a western, cowboy-saloon vibe and a chorus that creates a “cowboy please shoot me in the head and end it all, this album is torture” vibe, “Framed” is a storytelling track where Eminem is framed for a murder. Apparently, some of his gruesome lyrics are so incriminating that he could be considered a suspect for a murder. Now, I love story telling tracks. One of my favorite records of all time is The Great Adventures of Slick Rick. But Eminem is too old and passed the point of his career where associating with assault, kidnapping, or murder is entertaining and/or interesting. It was shocking in 1999 when he talks about dumping his wife in a pier so he can be with his child without her interference. I would never condone that, but I was highly attentive. But 18 years later, saying you have Ivanka Trump in the back of your car is just creepy. Definitely the worst song on the album.

“Nowhere Fast” features Kehlani on the chorus and exciting violin strings that accompany Eminem’s commentary on the rap game. Kehlani is definitely talented, but I don’t think her style matches Eminem. Overall the song is middle of the road. Not horrible, not amazing.

Now that he’s dissed Trump, talked about a bad relationships, his “killer” lyrics, and the rap industry, it’s time to go back to a fun song and make more jokes about butt & boob implants. “Heat” is very similar to “Remind Me”. They both use a rock and roll sample and discuss the same shallow content. The sample isn’t as entertaining as “Remind Me”, so that makes it harder to tolerate the excessive double entendres and play on words just to illustrate offensive commentary on a woman. I try not to overuse quotes, but I had to save the worst line.

“Girl, you’re just gonna have to put them other chumps on the back burner/You got buns, I got Asperger’s (Ass burgers)”

I mentioned earlier that this next track “Offended” grew on me over time. The issue with tonally switching back and forth is it’s difficult to tell how seriously Eminem takes himself. How can I know Eminem is actually self-conscious about others’ expectations of him, when he immediately calls himself godlike and makes multiple songs about boob jobs? Here, Eminem makes it clear he is trolling and wants to offend and irritate a hater. Once I understood that, I was able to just enjoy it as a dumb track. The instrument is fun and bouncy, and the chorus is extremely childish, but purposely done so that it’s hard to criticize it seriously.

I can sum up the next two tracks, “Need Me” and “In Your Head” as forgettable. “Need Me” is another track about a toxic relationship ft. P!nk’s amazing vocals. Although the ratio of P!nk to Eminem on the song makes me think it should’ve been a P!nk song featuring Eminem. And on “In Your Head” Eminem simply describes his displeasure with past decisions, the most notable part of the song being The Cranberries sample on the chorus, which ended up being wasted on a take it or leave it track.

“Castle” comes outta left field as a MAJOR upgrade from the rest of the album. It almost feels like it belongs on a different album completely. The chorus is slow building with these subtle organ keys and a bassline where the instrumental doesn’t quite kick in but it hints at a explosion about to occur. Liz Rodrigues on the chorus helps Eminem deliver this song; a series of letters that Eminem writes to his daughter, apologizing for things in her life that are impacted by him and his decisions. They’re written in 1995, 1996, and 2007.

The first verse talks about his excitement about having a new baby daughter. The second verse talks about his failed album Infinite and how he’s not sure how he’s going to provide for them, but he’s stumbled onto an idea (The Slim Shady LP, which thrusted him into mainstream success). The third verse is in 2007, where he states his guilt for her life being thrusted in public light, his distaste for fame, his pills addiction. During that time, Eminem was suffering from drug addiction and nearly died from an overdose. The song ends with him taking pills and audibly collapsing onto the floor.

“Arose” picks up where “Castle” leaves off. Eminem talks over a piano ballad and an echo-ey drum that makes you feel like you’re in an empty dark room. Eminem is currently in the ER hooked up to life support machines, talking about the things he’ll miss if he dies in the hospital bed. Amongst other goodbyes, he tells his daughters to take care of each other and he’ll always be in their memory. Truly heart wrenching. But as he says goodbye to everybody, he suddenly fights to stay alive, his heart starts beating, and he recovers. As he recovers, he mentions rewinding the tape of time. Rewinding to before he made the mistake of overdosing.

Then, in an expert display of technical skill and creativity, the track rewinds to the instrumental for “Castle”, and Eminem delivers a final verse that has a much more “onward and forward”, positive outlook. It brings tears to my eyes every time I listen to it. He describes shredding the old letters and not letting the past hold him back. And that the first half of the song is what he would’ve wrote to his daughters if he had made it 2 hours later to the hospital, which is about how long the doctor said he would’ve lived if he hadn’t checked in. In this masterpiece of a closer, Eminem connects back to the concept of reviving. Without question, the best song on the album and the best outro of any Eminem album

Final Thoughts

The Intro “Walk on Water” and outros “Castle”/”Arose” feel like they belong on a completely separate album; they’re totally different from the tracks that encompassed the middle. So while those three are great, the album ultimately suffers from inconsistent themes and messages. If Eminem would’ve stuck with vulnerability and maturity, this album would’ve been great. Overall, the project isn’t horrible. But besides the few high points, I’m disappointed.

Top 3 Songs:

1) Arose

2) Castle

3) River

Overall Grade: C-

#music review #album review #hip hop review #hip hop #eminem

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abe-woodhull · 7 years ago

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theres nothing wrong with sewlett ok.

Okay, so I think I’m going to address this. I’m assuming this is in response to my post where I sort of when on a rant in the tags about how there’s a lot of glorification of abuse and murder and Simcoe in the Turn community right now. I’ll admit, that was a pretty sloppy post that I most likely made late at night with is definitely riddled with typos and half-arguments. In a way, I wish you would have maybe replied to my actual post rather than coming on anon to try to have this conversation but I hope this helps to clarify my position and others are free to respond to this directly if they wish.

And a warning!: I’m going to be talking about abuse a lot in this post! I totally understand if that’s not something people dont want to see and please feel free to not read or click off whenever you feel!

Firstly, I’ll state that I don’t have any power over what people do or do not ship or what content is or is not made within a fandom and I don’t want that type of power. I’d be an asshole so acting as if I do was sort of a dick move of me. I concede that this whole post is just my personal opinions and not meant to be an attack on anyone who actually ships it. People can ship or make whatever they want and I’m glad there’s a platform where people can do that.

However, (and that’s a big however) I don’t think that justifies the implications behind an idea or makes it “not wrong.” Again, this is all just my opinions and my perspective on the issue. It’s just my view, just how I morally view such a concept, and by no means is anyone meant to just automatically agree with me.

So let’s start with the origins of this, as far as I can tell. I’m obviously not a member of the community, so expect that I’ll get something wrong, but this is from my perspective. There was an episode in season four where Simcoe was in a bed and Hewlett held a knife to his throat. I’m sure we all remember it. Ever since then, the tags have been flooded with that ship. That might not be the origin of the ship, but it undeniably got a lot more people posting about Sewlett and making content.

I’ll remind you that the event I just referred to specifically in season four was Hewlett threatening to end Simcoe’s life after what I assume is months of the two going back and forth trying to off each other through schemes, and that’s in season four alone. It’s an even longer span of time if you go back into the previous seasons, but I’ll get back to that in a second. The point I’m trying to make here is that these two frequently try to kill each other. That’s an incredibly important aspect of their relationship, for lack of a better word, in the show. It’s also extremely important to a lot of Hewlett’s character development due to the fact that he shows Simcoe mercy when Simcoe has been trying to kill him for years. You can even argue that the action also developed Simcoe’s character but that doesn’t excuse the years of attempted murder.

I really want to drive this point home because it’s very, very important to recognize. So here are some examples of when these two clashed, which may be a bit graphic, my apologies (and these are only the most notable examples):

Season 2, Episode 5: Sealed Fate

Simcoe murders an officer in the Continental Army, cuts out his tongue, and writes a letter in his blood that claims Hewlett did it. This causes soldiers under the now dead officer to seek revenge, just as Simcoe planned and part of that plan was to have Hewlett captured, tortured, and eventually executed.

Season 2, Episode 7: Valley Forge

The conditions Hewlett is kept in are extremely inhumane, as I’m sure Simcoe counted on. He is routinely being subject to what I’ll call torture as the Continentals try to goad him into confessing to the murder of their leader. This becomes so bad that Hewlett gets frostbite and has to cut off three of his toes, which Simcoe later mocks.

Additionally, Simcoe’s advancements on Anna are extremely clear. Not only does Simcoe set out to murder Hewlett for power gain in Setauket, it seems that he also sets out in order to manipulate Anna’s favor.

I’ll move onto the bit where Simcoe and Hewlett actually meet in this episode, though there is much more I can elaborate on. He continuously mocks Hewlett and revels in his pain, saying, “Seeing you like this is a welcomed surprise.” Simcoe has obvious intent to kill Hewlett then. But, as I’m sure we all remember quite well, Hewlett stabs Simcoe in what I personally believe to be self-defense.

Season Three, Episode Two: Cold Murdering Bastards

Hewlett and Abe conspire to get Simcoe out of the picture by murdering him, a plan that plays out for the next several episodes.

Etc.

I won’t go into such specifics when it comes to season four, as the whole Hewlett subplot essentially revolves around the two trying to kill each other. It starts with Simcoe sending rangers after him to frame him for the murder of Lola and to kill him, then Hewlett scheming with Abe again to take him out, and this back and forth continues until Simcoe returns from the battlefield in Virginia. This is where Hewlett considers killing him but then shows mercy, which I will say, at least from my perspective, doesn’t erase the literal years the two spent trying to kill each other.

Notice, I didn’t even go into every instance of their toxicity. I chose examples of episodes where they literally tried to get rid of each other through violence. This doesn’t even take into consideration the numerous different ways Simcoe attempted to psychologically damage Hewlett.

The point of that all was to show that in the canon, Hewlett and Simcoe’s relationship, again, for lack of a better word, has nearly always been one where they were trying to get rid of each other. You can argue that Hewlett showing mercy changes that, but his speech points more towards the hope of order and the future rather than hope for Simcoe. And even if it did, it still doesn’t erase the years spent trying to kill each other.

In my perspective, whatever potential for actual romantic involvement points pretty heavily towards legitimate abuse.

I suppose one might argue that the ship is based more on headcanon than actual canon, but then I ask, doesn’t that completely erase the characters all together? If their development is so intertwined with years of this one-on-one war with each other, then isn’t that ignoring that development altogether if you’re ignoring the canon aspect? Isn’t that ignoring their characters?

Not only that, but from what I see of the content that I happen upon in the tags, the abuse is still pretty prevalent.

And if the argument is that the canon is taken into consideration, and that applies to the posts I’ve seen, then it’s sort of a double bind.

Here’s my issue with that. With this, I’m not trying to say that anyone personally is advocating for abuse and I’m not trying to attack anyone. However, from what I see, the ship as a whole seems pretty lenient about the potential and actual abuse within the ship and is compliant with that concept. I feel that some of the stuff that comes from the ship glorifies some abuse and a lot of attempted homicide.

And then, finally, the reason I made a post in the first place: If it were just a small movement, I’d likely just leave the subject alone altogether. I would have seen it, probably would have privately been uncomfortable or talk about the issue with my group of friends, but then just not say anything publically about it. However, it now makes up an overwhelming portion of the new content produced by the turn fandom on this site, making it and the values it represents a big staple in the community now. Frankly, it makes me feel sort of alienated since I strongly disagree with it and now I feel that there’s not much I can contribute to the fanbase anymore. And I don’t really want to contribute if that’s going to be the staple of the fandom as my personal values really don’t reflect that and I don’t feel I can personally condone that.

Personally, I feel there’s a lot of ships that in Turn with the potential of whatever gratification people get from Sewlett without some of the more problematic aspects. Not only that, I feel some of them are backed up by canon. But again, I’m not in charge of what people like and I don’t seek to be.

Again, everyone else can do whatever they want. I also feel I’m allowed to post my criticisms of it on my little platform and others are allowed to respond respectfully with their view and perspective.

Sorry for this extremely long post and explanation. I hope it clears some stuff up. Again, I wasn’t attempting to attack anyone personally or say that my opinion is 100% correct. This was merely what I see. Thanks for reading.

#turn amc #hewlett #simcoe #ask

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elvendara · 7 years ago

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Yooran Week Extended Day 6

Day 6 Sleepover prompt for @yooranweek follow up!! Hmm, I feel like this is not one of my best. But I’n not sure why. Anyway, here it is!

The light did not sting. It was warm and radiant. Just as he remembered it from childhood. How had he receded so far from the sun? how had he forgotten the life-giving rays? He had let the darkness leech into his pores. Her, it was not he who had accepted the poison into his veins. It had been the golden haired supposed savior. Rika, it had been Rika!

Her toxic words that dripped with venom soaking into his juvenile mind. It had been a miracle that he had held out as long as he did. She had finally stolen the sun from him.

Saeran sprang from his sleep, his body covered in sweat, his chest heaving, tears flowing, a pair of green eyes chasing after him.

“Saeran?” Saeran gasped and flinched when he heard his name, almost falling off the bed.

Yoosung grabbed him and pulled him close. Saeran’s instinct was to recoil and he shoved Yoosung away. Yoosung held on until Saeran calmed down and let himself be engulfed into the smaller man’s arms.

“Shh, shh, I’m here, You’re ok.” Yoosung rocked them back and forth as Saeran clung to him. After several minutes Saeran pulled away to stare into Yoosung’s concerned eyes.

“I’m ok. Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” His sobs were soft and he dropped his eyes. Yoosung tilted his head back up and smiled, kissing him lightly on the lips. Saeran’s mouth quirked upwards. He shook away the effects of his dreams and nightmares, focusing on Yoosung’s bright and shinning eyes.

“What were you dreaming about?” Yoosung asked.

Saeran’s smile faultered and he looked away again, fidgeting with the sheet around his waist.

“It’s ok if you don’t want to talk about it, but, sometimes it helps.”

Saeran shook his head, “No, I don’t want to lose the sun again.” He mumbled. Suddenly his eyes snapped towards Yoosung. “You aren’t like her, are you? You won’t take away the light you promised me, will you?” he looked so desperate and lost.

Yoosung furrowed his brow, “Like her? Her who?”

Saeran’s eyes widened, “No one, never mind, we should, we should get dressed.” Saeran began to slip out of bed but Yoosung pulled him back.

“I promised to share my light with you. I would never go back on a promise.” He smiled and leaned in to kiss Saeran’s soft wet lips. He tasted the saltiness of the tears, his breathing intensified and he sighed into Saeran’s mouth with contentment. Saeran pushed him onto his back and kissed him passionately, enjoying the soft moans and groans Yoosung let slip.

Yoosung’s arms were around Saeran’s waist, hands on his shoulders, he wrapped his right leg over Saeran’s left one and pulled his body down on his with audible satisfaction.

The door to the bedroom flew open and Saeyoung stalked in. “Hey hey hey! Good morning you two!” he hopped on the bed as Yoosung scrambled behind Saeran and hid there. Saeyoung only laughed.

“I tried making breakfast, but, we don’t actually have much in the kitchen.” On a tray that he lay on the bed there were two plates, each held a very burnt piece of toast, some honey buddha chips, and a couple of black olives.

“Saeyoung! Don’t you knock?! Get out of here! And what the hell are we supposed to do with that?” he curled his lip and wrinkled his nose. Yoosung peered over his shoulder then ducked back behind Saeran.

“Don’t get all shy now Yoosung, I mean, if you’re doing my brother, we’re practically family, right?” Saeyoung snickered.

Saeran punched him on the shoulder and Yoosung yelled out, “I’m not doing him!”

“Oh? Well, my mistake then, I just assumed that two people on the same bed completely naked meant they’d gotten busssyyyyy!” Saeyoung sprang up from the bed and made a thrusting motion with his hips.

“Get out!” Saeran screamed at him, grabbing the toast and olives from the tray and pelting Saeyoung with them until he ran out, screeching in laughter. “Idiot!” Saeran sighed and turned back to Yoosung. “You ok?” he asked.

Yoosung nodded giggling.

“Uh, Saeran?”

“Yeah?”

“Would you, I mean, do you…ah…you know, what, what Saeyoung said?” he looked away.

“Eventually, yes, but, I think we should probably take things slow for now.” Saeran answered, a visible blush across his cheeks as well.

“Ok.” Yoosung brightened. “Then, maybe, you should get dressed.”

“You too.” Saeran looked away, remembered what Yoosung’s cock had felt like against his thigh.

Yoosung slipped out of the bed and went to the living room to get his clothes. He dressed quickly, glad that Saeyoung was nowhere to be seen. Saeran stepped out of his room, fully dressed himself and gathered Yoosung into his arms. He pushed away almost immediately.

“Sorry, I…I just…I wanted to touch you again.” Saeran admitted shyly

“It’s ok Saeran, you don’t have to apologize for that, I don’t mind, I like it. I…I like you a lot.” He blushed, reaching out to Saeran. Saeran reacted by engulfing him in another hug. Yoosung sighed and placed his cheek against Saeran’s chest. He listened to the rapid beating of his heart.

“Oh geez! Get a room already!” Saeyoung came bounding into the room. Yoosung and Saeran jumped apart, both glaring at Saeyoung.

“Uh, Saeran, can I have a minute alone with Saeyoung? I want to ask him something, personal.” Yoosung asked. Saeran shot a final glare at Saeyoung and kissed Yoosung’s cheek before leaving the room silently.

“I guess my dreams of a space station wedding with my best friend are shattered into a million pieces now! You’ve chosen my brother over me, how will I ever go on?” Saeyoung pressed the back of his wrist against his head and fell onto the sofa dramatically.

“Ha ha! Very funny.” Yoosung kicked Saeyoung on the shin.

“Owe!” he sat up and rubbed at his offended limb.

“Can you be serious for a minute please?” Yoosung sank onto the coffee table in front of Saeyoung.

“What is it?” Saeyoung set his elbows on his knees, waiting for Yoosung to continue. He rarely spoke so seriously.

“Tell me the truth please. If I ask you a question, I want you to answer it honestly, can you do that?” Yoosung’s eyes swam with unshed tears.

“I…I can’t make any promises Yoosung, but, I will if I can.”

Yoosung huffed in frustration, his fists clenched on his thighs. “Don’t do that Saeyoung, you sound just like V! I’m not a child that needs to be coddled and I want to know the truth!”

“Yoosung, please, just don’t ask then.”

“I have to know. Saeran said something I don’t think he meant to say. And…it made me think of the way he sometimes looks at me. Like he fears me. I couldn’t understand it, but, if what I assume is true, it makes perfect sense. So, tell me, was Rika the one that did this to him?” his words faltered at the end.

Saeyoung sighed, lowering his head and giving it a quick shake. He had hoped to spare Yoosung from this knowledge, but he was right, he wasn’t a child, and if he entered into a relationship with Saeran, it would come out anyway.

“Yes.”

Yoosung finally let the tears flow, “But, why? I don’t understand? You said he had been taken by Mint Eye less than a year after you left him, that means…Rika, she…for that long?”

Saeyoung shrugged. “I don’t know Yoosung, we may never know for sure. Whatever justification she had, it’s locked away deep in her subconscious now. I’m sorry. I’m sorry she wasn’t the person you thought she was.”

“She was my hero, I looked up to her, and all that time, she…she was torturing Saeran, and how many others? How many more were there Saeyoung?”

Saeyoung shrugged. “I don’t know that either. Most of her disciples scattered when Jumin’s security team arrived. The ones they captured were all like Saeran. Drugged and confused. Some followed her willingly, some were forced. I’m sure there are still people out there that are waiting for her to come back.”

Yoosung eyes snapped up, “You don’t think that will happen do you? Do you think she will regain her memories and return to finish whatever she was trying to do?”

“I hope not. I’m watching her Yoosung. If she comes back, if she goes near Saeran again…” he left the sentence unfinished, but Yoosung understood what he meant.

“How can he even look at me? How can he care for me? How can I ever be anything but a reminder of the woman who stole his innocence completely? After all the abuse he had already endured, to have his savior heap more on him. How can I ever compensate for that?” he buried his head in his hands and Saeyoung knelt in front of him.

“It isn’t your fault Yoosung. It isn’t up to you to compensate for the pain she put him through. You’re right, for a long time all he saw when he looked at you was her. But, whereas her kindness was a mask, yours is genuine. He didn’t want you to know. He knew you would feel guilty. We both knew. I wanted to keep it from you, I didn’t want you to be hurt. Yoosung, he cares about you, and it makes me so happy that you finally know just how much. The only thing you need to do, is be you. It’s all he needs.” Saeyoung reached for Yoosung’s face and wiped away the tears with his thumbs. “Everything is going to be ok, you’ll see.” He smiled reassuringly and Yoosung allowed himself to be engulfed in a tight hug.

Saeyoung pulled away and grinned at him. “Now, go on and make my brother happy! I’m sure he’d be good with a nice blow job, or a hand job, you know, whatever you prefer!” he deadpanned.

Yoosung pushed him away and jumped up. “That’s disgusting!” but he blushed and was not at all disgusted at the idea. He stepped around Saeyoung and the sofa, heading to Saeran’s room. He stopped and turned to Saeyoung.

“Thank you Saeyoung, for…for treating me like an adult. I appreciate it.”

“Sure thing, being an adult sucks though!” he snickered.

“True, but, thanks anyway.” Saeyoung nodded and Yoosung entered Saeran’s room.

Saeran looked up from the book he was reading and closed it quickly when he saw the look on Yoosung’s face. He dropped it and ran to him, wrapping his arms around him. “What did my brother do now?” he asked vehemently.

Yoosung guffawed at Saeran’s assumption.

“He told me the truth, about, about Rika.” He whispered. Saeran stepped back. “I’m sorry she did this to you Saeran.” He cupped his face and pulled him down for a tender kiss. “I will do everything in my power to help you forget, to make the rest of your life happy.”

Saeran was angry at his brother, but he couldn’t stay mad. Yoosung looked more determined than anything, and he was so cute, Saeran just wanted to devour him. He dampened down his desire, after all, he’d just suggested they take things slow. It was a good suggestion, he wanted everything with Yoosung to be as perfect as it could be.

They held on to each other, neither saying another word. Saeran could feel the warmth of the sun that emanated from Yoosung’s body.

Yooran Fanfic List

#my posts #Yooran #yooranweek #yoosung #saeran #saeyoung #mostly fluffy #tiny bit of angst #not really #ahh #the love

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codyrichards91 · 4 years ago

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Reiki Healing Store Amazing Cool Tips

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thecrewnbeeteam · 7 years ago

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Total Takeover...

“We can’t allow her to do this… She’ll destroy everything we have worked towards.” Piper looked over her team, an extreme amount of concern in her optics. She had called together a specialized group to assist her on her new mission; stop Rose from trying to take over the High Council. Pacing back and forth, her servos behind her back, any and every idea came racing through her processor. In which she shot down mentally, knowing well that it would fail.

“Well, now that Linx is out of the picture we have to take care of that kid of hers. I still have no idea how they brought her back,” Speaking softly, Greenbelt watched as Piper paced back and forth across the room.

“Energy transfer, it’s a mad mans work. Most likely SciFi, but as far as I can remember she was in cahoots with the Wreckers still,” responded Piper as she stopped for a moment. Looking back at Greenbelt, she saw the femme tense up and look away. “Right?” “Well about the Wreckers… We kinda all took a break. Met had gotten seriously injured and would be in the infirmary for a few weeks so we all decided to take a vacation. And well… I guess she got hired on in the Blacklist team.”

Sighing softly, she rubbed her forehelm, a massive processor ache taking over. She took a moment to gather her composure before looking back at her team.

“We have to go to Cybertron…”

______________________________________________________________________________

“Piper you are insane! We can’t go back there! They’d throw us all in prison for even being on our home grounds. And to make matters worse, the last time you talked to Cyclonus you shot him down romance wise. So you aren’t exactly on his “teamie” list.”

“I know the situation isn’t ideal Aayliah, but we can’t let Rose do this. And you know the High Council will let her take over with no problem seeing how she is Linx’s offspring.” “Uhm, hi mom I’m your offspring and they almost offered me the position. They’ll bring in anyone they know will and cause a good amount of damage to anyone who opposes them,” responded Abby to her mother’s comment.

“But you were made by their top scientists. They knew they had power over you 4 at that point in time. Until you found me Abby, then I got all of you out of there.” “Your mom has a point Abs. But even so, let’s say they do give power to Rose. What the hell is she gonna do? Cyclonus will put a major restraint on her, which will only piss her off and send her to do what Rose does best. Hunt.” “Greenbelt… We can’t play the let’s say game. We have to play it safe. Now we have to do this, and I will do my best to protect all of you. You have my word,” Piper looked over her whole team with a motherly stance, uttering those last few words softly.

______________________________________________________________________________

“Alright roll call… Greenbelt?” “Here boss.” “Cross? Blindside? Highway?” “We’re all here bossbot,” responded Blindside.

“Greycat? Aayliah? Kai?” “Aye! We are all present,” spouted Aayliah cheerily.

“Goldenclaw? And finally Reverb?” “We’re both present Piper,” Goldenclaw spoke softly as she watched Abby rush up to her mother in a fit. “What the hell mom? Why aren’t we on the roster? We’re always by your side!” “Which is why I can’t bring you or your brothers Abby… If anything happened to you or your brothers, I would never be able to forgive myself.” Piper watched her daughters expression soften, a more understanding look took over her faceplate as she slowly lowered her helm. Gently lifting her helm up, she softly kissed her daughter’s forehelm.

“What if you don’t come back home? If you don’t make it back to Earth, we will come for you mom…” “No you won’t, if I don’t make it back… I want you to take over until you can go through proper procedure.” It killed Piper to see tears running down her daughter’s faceplate, but all she could simply do is wipe them away and give her a goodbye hug. Placing something in Abby’s servo, she made a signal for everyone to load up and head out. Before Abby could protest what Piper put in her servo, the team was gone in an instant. ______________________________________________________________________________

“Well, well, well. If it’s not the Bee team, and what does the High Council owe to thee?” “Why are you all doing this? Taking over Cybertron… Trying to take over Earth?” Bumblebee watched Cyclonus slowly walk towards his captured team, which unfortunately included the decepticon Steeljaw. Before Cyclonus could answer, he head the rushed footsteps of other intruders. Turning he saw his former companion Piper storming in, relief sweeping over him as he glanced at Steeljaw. “Thank the allspark she’s here,” spoke Steeljaw in a whisper. “Cyclonus, where is she? I know she is here,” Piper walked up to him in a hurry, fury burning bright in her optics as her team put every High Council member on lockdown. “Why… I’m right here my lovely,” Rose sashayed her way into Piper’s view with a venomous smirk on her faceplate. As Rose made her appearance so did her gang. Piper’s team quickly finding weapons to the heads and in their faces. “I must say Piper, your timing is impeccable. I didn’t expect you here until… Oh a few hours later than this.” Her faceplate dark, she watched Rose weave her way through all the bodies that took up the chamber they were in, “What can I say, I hear about dangerous criminals I have to get involved.” A laugh erupted from Rose as she was behind Piper in a blink of an optic. She watched Piper keep her composure and made sure she had an optic on her at all times. Slowly spinning her way in front of her, her tail gently grazed up her side. “I have waited too long for this day… To repay you for ending my life. To take over what is rightfully mine. To make everyone suffer for all the ridiculous shit we have been put through.” “Rose, why are you so hellbent on this take over? Over taking my life? You brought this upon yourself when you tried to take over Earth before. You knew I couldn’t let you take over Earth, and I can’t let you do this now.” “Oh my dear Piper, I don’t want to kill you… I’m going to own you,” Rose responded with a harsh and snarky tone.

Greenbelt laughed at Rose’s response before looking at her over her shoulder, “Baby get in line, a lot of people wanna own that ass.” “True, but I’m not like others. Piper and I have a… deep history,” Rose appeared behind Piper and rested her servos on her shoulders, smirking seductively. “Don’t we my little lovebug?” Piper looked away as she clenched her fists, “You know what we had was never going to work, especially when you went crazy over taking over the universe.” Rose’s tail wrapped around Piper’s frame and managed to make her spin to look at the taller femme, “Oh but it could have Piper! If you had just seen it my way instead of having to be the god damn hero, it would have been beautiful! A wonderful ceremony would have been held like we had always wanted.” “You’re insane Rose…” “Merely imaginative Pipes,” she spoke softly her faceplate inches from the other femmes. A deadly smile took over her lips as a stinger appeared from the end of her tail, landing it right in the soft part of Piper’s thighs she injected a knockout serum into her system. Laughing as she caught the quickly unconscious femme with one arm. “Stick all of them in cells… We have work to do.” ______________________________________________________________________________

Upon waking up, Piper looked around to see her small operations team and Bumblebee’s team in cells. In a lot of confusion she attempted to stand up, but was stopped short. Seeing what was keeping her from fully standing, her servo’s were wrapped up in a metal that kept her from using her spark energy to blast her way out. A massive chain was attached to it and connected the the floor, only long enough for her to stand in a crouched position. Knowing there was no way out of it, she knelt back down and stared at the floor. “You okay bossbot? You seem a bit shaken up by the fact Rose isn’t looking to cause you any damage,” Greenbelt watched her leader, a bit concerned. “Piper, how is it that you and Rose had that much of a… intimate relationship. I just thought you two were best friends,” Bumblebee watched Piper with intensity in his optics. “We were at first, we were inseparable. Anything that needed done, we did together. Then things just got… I guess you can say out of hand. It started off with Greenbelt and I, we experimented together and then Rose got curious herself. Green and I cut it off and Rose took up Greenbelt’s place. And what was suppose to be only experimental turned into something serious. We needed each other, especially when Linx and Cross took their leave and left her in charge. She was stressed all the time, and was constantly running to me.” “She…she was stressed when we left? We did our best to avoid that from happening to her,” Cross spoke softly as she looked away. “Cross, stress will always find its way to a leader. But Rose… Rose wasn’t prepared to handle it, so she handled it the only way she knew how to. Turn it toxic. When she ran to me we’d would always fight to figure out a way to resolve it, but it’d end up in a love making session. And she’d go back and only cause more damage and more stress. Finally she snapped, and I couldn’t let her get away with anymore damage to the Crew. Linx wouldn’t help us, and Rose was on a path to destruction. So I killed her.” “And now the crazy bitch is back and thirsty for power. Like Steeljaw! How funny,” Aayliah smirked and looked over at the con that was pacing around in the cell the other team was held in.

“But why does she want you alive? No offense bossbot, but you killed her. Like when you killed her, you had no mercy on her. You’d think she’d want to repay the favor…” Greenbelt looked at Piper with an optic ridge raised high. “The only logical explanation is she’s still holding onto the hope that things will be like it is in her imagination. Us being an unstoppable force, her ruling the universe, and taking what is supposedly “hers”. But she needs a reality check, a major one…” “I know exactly how to give her a wake up call,” Steeljaw responded with a husky tone before making his way to the front of the cell to see Piper more clearly.

“Pht, you? What is it wolfbot, you and Piper kiss in front of her and confess your love for each other? Cause that’s so lame if that’s the case,” Aayliah made a yawning motion as she smirked at the con. “No smartass, Piper and Bumblebee have to act a little bit. I have noticed something about Rose when she’s even in his presence, she is all over Piper. And I believe it has something to do with the fact that Piper and Bumblebee had a small relationship. So she’s going to get defensive and enraged. And the madder she is, the more vulnerable she will be.” “Steeljaw,” Upon uttering his name, Piper had the wolfcon’s full attention. “She will know right away that it is a ploy to get her at her weakest. This is Rose we’re talking about, she’ll simply move me to a different room to keep us apart. What we need to do is hit her at her most sensitive point.” Strongarm was the one to finally speak up this time, “What? Tell her that she’s crazy?” “No… that she’s going to be alone forever.” ______________________________________________________________________________

“Oh yeah that’s going to work for sure! Tell her she’s never gonna find love and we’ll see how long she’ll keep all of us alive,” Sideswipe spoke in a snarky manner towards Piper. “No, we have to convince her. Which is not hard with Rose, she is a easily influenced person when it comes to her love life. We can not simply tell her that she’ll be alone forever. We have to make her believe that we mean it. And maybe we can hit her where it hurts the most, and just possibly make her see to reason.” “Piper, you need to let go yourself. You are still hanging onto the idea that she’ll come around and be on your side. But you need a reality check yourself, she’s gone Piper. She’s not the Rose you once knew, she’s going to do what she can to get what she wants. Even if it means using you,” Bumblebee spoke with reason and concern towards her. He noticed her get lost in a trance as he made a soft sound to bring her back to reality. “Once you let go yourself it’ll be easier.” Looking at him with bright optics she slowly nodded, “I know… and you’re right.” They all quickly got quiet when the door opened to reveal Cyclonus, he slowly stopped in and glanced around the room. Making sure everyone was where they were suppose to be, his gaze shifted to the knelt femme. Kneeling a bit himself, he stared at her faceplate for a few good moments. As if memorizing her faceplate like it would be the last time he would see it. “She’s ready for you…” When he spoke he sounded like a broken mech, which was highly unusual for Cyclonus.

Watching him curiously, Piper slowly stood when he disconnected the chain that was keeping her knelt to the floor. Keeping her optics on him as he started towards the door, she took a moment to look back at everyone else. Steeljaw quickly caught her attention, when the mech gently rested a servo on the energy barrier that was keeping them enclosed in the cell they were in. Her mouth opening slightly as if she were going to say something, she simply closed it and followed Cyclonus out of the room. Leaving the rest of her team and Bumblebee’s to watch her as she walked away. ______________________________________________________________________________

Piper was brought back to the main chamber where she confronted the High Council and Rose. Taking a quick look around she noticed Rose in front of some monitors going over plans with the rest of the High Council.

“Why did you all move here anyways? You all were perfectly safe, hidden, and protected by the higher ups. Now you’re more easily located and the others won’t be able to get to you to protect you.” Cyberwarp looked down for a second before glancing back up at their newest addition, “If I am honest it was Cyclonus’s idea. He wanted to take over from the inside, he thought if we beefed up our security we would be ok.” “Thank you for throwing me under the bus Cyberwarp, yes, I wanted to do things from the inside out. Is that such a shame Rose?” “Not necessarily, unless you have a death wish upon you and your colleagues. It’s a good idea until you have someone smart enough or strong enough to infiltrate you. Like we saw earlier, right Pipes?”

Rose smirked at Piper in a way that made the smaller femme shiver with uneasiness. Piper watched as Cyclonus groaned and made his way back over to his fellow peers. Leaving her unprotected and alone, but it wouldn’t be long before Rose made her way over to her.

“Leave us to talk in private please. We have many things to discuss.” And with that, the few of them there were headed out to a different chamber. Leaving just her and Rose, her focus had never left the taller femme. Rose looked back at Piper, her optics went from being hard and cold to soft and caring.

“I’m sorry for having to keep you cooped up, but we needed to discuss a small change in power.” “Let me guess, you’re the one in charge now?” “You could say that, but that’s not what we’re going to discuss.” “Oh? Please, do surprise me with our topic of debate Rose.” “Piper, you and I both know that we can try to be enemies. But in the end it will either result in one of our deaths or a complicated relationship, and I do not intend to die again. But we must put our issues aside for a moment.” “Why? I thought you weren’t going to stop until you take over every planet, every moon, every galaxy, and so on.” “And that’s what I plan to do… But we both have a bigger problem at hand, one that even with the High Council, Optimus, and even Eclipse’s help we’d still be low on manpower.” Piper seemed completely confused as she stared hard at Rose. Rose then removed the metal that encased her servos. Stunned Piper slowly rubbed her wrists as she watched the femme toss the metal aside.

“Piper, I need you and the others help. There is a mech bent on destroying anything and everything that the Cybertronians have created, inhabited, and colonizing. He has a army of all kind of species behind him, and he won’t stop until he has succeeded. The longer we he stays out there, the more he destroys and the more of a army he gains.” “It definitely doesn’t sound like Megatron, he conquers. Who is it?” “Does the name Betrelli sound familiar to you?” Upon her uttering his name Piper almost fainted, the room swirling and spinning around her. Rose calling her name almost sounded distant as memories flooded her processor.

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“Piper I need your help, Linx must be stopped. She has committed crimes that is completely heinous, and she won’t stop until her bloodlust is fulfilled.” As she read all the crimes that were logged under Linx’s profile, she gently shook her helm with a soft sigh leaving her vocalizer. Glancing up at the tall and large mech, Piper took in all of Betrelli’s changes and new features.

“This isn’t the first time Linx has been arrested for crimes against the Cybertronian race. But this seems highly unlike her, I mean why would she go after officials with murky backgrounds? She could care less…”

“I don’t know, but our people are in trouble and fear for their lives. We gotta stop her pumpkin.” She thought for a moment before looking up at him, “Like I said before, contact Gazelle. If you pay her enough, she won’t question, and she won’t hesitate. And the job will be done with ease and careful precision.” “Excellent…” he said almost venomously, which in turn made Piper raise an optic ridge. When Betrelli noticed Piper’s change in expression he gave her a goofy, reassuring smile. He patted her shoulder before heading out of her base. Something didn’t quite sit well as she watched him leave. ______________________________________________________________________________

“Betrelli are you sure this is the right thing to do? I mean you can’t just take out the High Council, we need them for certain situations that we can’t handle ourselves.” Betrelli growled loudly as he slammed his servos down on Piper’s desk. Staring at her with crazy intensity, when he spoke it was harsh and rude, “Piper they’re corrupt bastards and need to go! We can run Cybertron better than they ever can!” “I’m not here to take their place, I am here to run my Crew the best I can. For all I care they can let Cybertron go to the scrapyard. Cybertron isn’t in our protection or jurisdiction, so there is nothing I can legally do. And even if we did try, we’d both get thrown back into prison.” “Oh please, you and I could run that shitty stockade from the inside out. My money, your leadership, Piper baby we’d have all of them eating out of our servos.” “Betrelli, why are you acting like this? You were never like this before…” “Pumpkin I’m the same as I was when we were in prison and fuckin’. Now, I’ve got stuff to finish. I’ll come talk to you later after you’ve had some time to… reflect on what I said.” “Don’t Betrelli. I’m not going to help you with your crazy idea.” Scowling the mech left in a huff, leaving Piper to try and figure out why he was suddenly acting like a dictator.

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“Piper? Piper! Hey wake up! Please, are you okay?” Piper came to, only to find herself lying on the floor with Rose hovering over her. The odd thing was there was no concern on the other femme’s face whatsoever. But that wasn’t what was worrying Piper right now. Betrelli was out on a rampage, and Rose was right. There was no way they could stop him with the few they had. With money Betrelli could buy himself very powerful allies, and become almost unstoppable. But why? Why was he going after Cybertron, and everything Cybertron had worked towards. What grudge did he have against them? And why did he try to mislead her into helping him take over and destroy planets, galaxies, and more?

“Piper, do you know who he is?” “Of course I do… He’s Betrelli, I’m surprised you don’t know who he is by now. We were in the Stockade together when I went in the first time for my very first “crime.”

“So you know him better than anyone ever will. Excellent! You’ll be able to make him see reason better than any of us here! But we will need firepower in order to get him.” “Not necessarily. But we do need to let the others know what is happening and figure out a plan. Together.” Rose didn’t seem to ecstatic about the idea, but she gave a nod of agreement. Gently waving her servo for Piper to go and release the others, Piper did exactly that. Running down the corridor it wasn’t long before she was in the cell room. Upon her opening the door, everyone seemed to jump up at once. “Boss! What’s going on?” “I second Greenbelt, but did you let Rose down easy? Or did you crush her? You devilish you,” Aayliah smirked at her leader and wink in a teasing way.

“It’s Betrelli we have to worry about… Not Rose believe it or not,” stated Piper as she began to unlock the cells releasing her team first, then Bumblebee’s.

“Who is Betrelli? Don’t tell me he’s another Megatron wannabe,” snarled Steeljaw.

“No…he worse than Megatron. He destroys, and doesn’t think twice about what he’s destroying.” “Piper what the hell is going on?” Cross seemed a bit irritated, as well as confused. But everyone’s look seemed to change as Piper looked at them all with extreme concern. “We have to go on a life or death mission with all hands on board…”

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#2015 rid #transformers spark #tfoc #maccadam #long reads

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