#hope any of this means anything lmao
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franceblr · 1 year ago
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super halfbaked sasodei hc, modern edition
despite their frequent arguments and bickering, sasori and deidara are an extremely stable couple. like, ride or die type of committed; they’re thoroughly enamoured and obsessive and totally dependant on each other and not the best communicators but even with their many differences, they understand each other on a molecular level and couldn’t imagine dating anyone else. it’s them or nothing. they may be toxic and neither knows what they’re doing, but they’re dead set on making things work and learn along the way through trial and error. deidara is entirely devoted to sasori, body and soul; to sasori, deidara is everything he saw in others and wanted for himself, but never dared to even dream of.
though both sasori and deidara are resolved on staying together no matter what, they did discuss hard limits in their relationship; boundaries that if crossed, they’d never be able to recover from. one both of them agreed on is cheating. with their pasts and the way they are, neither of them would be able to cope with the other cheating, and would take it really really badly. another hard limit for deidara is substance addiction; he’s familiar with its effects, and he’s absolutely positive he cannot have that in his life, ever again (though this is more like a fair warning prompted by his personal trauma, than something sasori is likely to fall into). for sasori, dishonesty is an immediate deal breaker. under no circumstances is deidara allowed to lie to him, ever: no white lies, no omission of information: sasori asks, and deidara has to answer.
entire honesty on deidara’s behalf came with a lot of work: he’s by nature evasive and not one to trust easily, so in the earlier days of their relationship, it was a lot of deidara tiptoeing around answers and sasori seeing right through his bullshit. eventually, deidara learnt that he owes sasori the truth under all circumstances, even if he has to force it out through tears. it’s non negotiable.
quite the feat considering deidara is a compulsive liar. or a rehabilitated one at least. lying is what gets him the most attention, doesn’t matter if it’s positive or negative. deidara HAS to be seen and heard. it’s not that he enjoys deceiving others either, it’s more a thing he learnt to pick up quick as a child, in order to survive in an unstable environment created by abuse, addiction, neglect and fostercare. deidara has perfectly mastered the art of keeping a chill and laid back façade, of always being friendly and upbeat and yet never letting anyone in too close to see if there’s anything deeper than that. not that sasori ever fell for it: there’s something so twisted and damaged and somber and guarded about deidara, that sasori can see it bleed through even when he’s all sunny smiles and quick jokes. even when he thinks nobody is looking. once the layers were peeled back, for sasori it was like looking in a mirror: sasori sees the darkness, the hurt, the resilience, the maturity that comes too soon, the shame, the anger, the compulsive and the desperate, and instead of being turned off by it, he wants to observe and touch and devour deidara whole with all of his fucked up quirks and habits. feels the animalistic urge to put deidara on a table and vivisect him and analyze every fiber of his being, learn and consume all there is to deidara so intimately, it hurts and makes him want to hurt. he wants to squeeze out the life out of deidara, brutalize him and put him back together. wants to know and own him inside and out.
one thing they both had to learn and get accustomed to was trusting the other, and giving up control. both sasori and deidara are by default weary, hyper independent, and over all not well versed in emotional vulnerability. it took a lot of experimenting, frequent check ins, and reassurance to make things work. sasori is paranoid to the point of the pathological, and deidara would rather eat a shoe than show a single weakness. slowly, the Talks became less dreadful, they started picking up on each other’s patterns, thought processes and non verbal signals, and communication got much easier. the hurt lessened, the ever crushing weight of loneliness lessened, the guard came down and sasori and deidara went head first from hyper independent to codependent. deidara makes always sure to keep all of his promises to sasori, never betraying his trust or casting doubt over his love and devotion for him.
they’re both in it for the long run. and still, despite them both being ready to take it to the next step, it took months of persuasion and time to get deidara to move in with sasori; sasori still pretends he’s not aware deidara keeps an escape bag packed with clothes that still got the tags on, passport, cash and his most important documents stowed away and ready, in case he ever has to get out and fast. deidara keeps it underneath the driver seat of his car, and sasori found it accidentally while fixing an issue with deidara’s car on his request. at first sasori was terribly hurt and betrayed. but he eventually understood that his partner’s reluctance to move in with him and fear that he’ll be thrown out every moment now, has to do more with deidara’s continuous home insecurity throughout his childhood and teenage years, than with any sort of plan of leaving sasori.
they both need SO much reassurance. jesus. deidara has the insufferable tendency to treat sasori like he’s made of glass: he makes sure to caress him and repeat disgustingly sweet, gentle, comforting words to him until they’re engraved in his frontal lobe, like he’s stupid, or a baby. sasori hates that it works. sasori hates how he feels the tension melt right off of his shoulders and jaw, how he feels his brows unfurrow and his traitorous body always nestles deeper against deidara. how he feels the ache, the doubt and the worry slowly uncoil from the deadly grasp they have on his throat, his ribcage, his stomach. can barely stand the way his heart breaks in two whenever deidara’s upset. hates hates hates the way he seems to always know what to say and where to touch him, to placate deidara’s inner turmoil and restless mind.
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faunandfloraas · 7 days ago
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The Nobleman or 양반 (yangban): The smiling face represents the bluff and composure that an aristocrat is often known to have. The chin is a separate piece from the top of the mask, and the actors can lean forward and back to make the mask smile or frown as needed.
This monk who abandons his doctrines, or 취발이 (chwibari): Chwibari was originally a monk, but he had no intention of joining the monastic order, so he came down to the world and wanders. Represented with a forehead full of wrinkles and spots.
The widow or, 부네 (Punae/bune): represented to be a widow, or a kisaeng ( a woman who sang, danced, or played an instrument to provide entertainment for company at a drinking party), or a mistress of the Yangban. She has a very small mouth, round cheeks and forehead- giving a general look of happiness good-humor.
#skz#stray kids#skzedit#bystay#obligatory i am no expert take it with a grain of salt blah blah#theres no changbin bc you cant see the mask clearly and no hyunjin because as best I can figure his mask is a General/high ranking official#but most of those are modern productions and dont have any real descriptions or anything.#these plays were made to mock the upper classes so the nobleman is p much always treated like a fool or bastard lol#also these all change depending on the location- so like the chwibari is usually a negative portrayal of a monk who drinks and parties#and isnt very... monk-ly lets say- but then theres a story where he saves his lover from a lecherous monk and they get married so 🤷‍♀️#he wasnt a monk that iteration though or he abandoned his studies ?#and then the widow/concubine varies from sympathetic young widow to a kinda femme fatale who seduces the nobleman/scholars#Will any of this play into the concept? probably not. they dont really commit to concepts lbr#but still! it was interesting to look into and the masks are pretty to boot so this was fun :)#it'd be cool if they did a mask dance. i always loved thunderous for the traditional elements so i hope that happens#also YEAH a korean seungmin girl saying she was sad the foreign fans wouldnt get the significance bc she wants to see 'secondary art'#did inspire this (of course i'd wanna know why he was the only one given a womans mask dont act surprised)#bc im pretty sure i know what she means by secondary art and LMAO#i see right through you.... and into myself maybe#long post
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steddieas-shegoes · 7 months ago
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cw: mentions of scarring, canon-typical violence, flashback (not graphic), minor body horror (again, not graphic, mostly just emotional feelings about scars)
♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️
Everyone gave him weird looks when they walked in, quickly schooling their features when they noticed he was awake and watching them.
He didn’t know exactly what that was about.
They had him on a lot of good drugs.
But eventually he got weaned off them, and he noticed the pull of bandages on his side, and his arm, and his neck, and his face.
He was still unable to get out of bed. Still couldn’t even reach his arms above his chest for more than a few seconds.
But he damn sure reached up to feel the cloth and plastic surrounding his cheek. How had he not noticed for days? How had no one bothered him about it?
Maybe they had and he just didn’t notice. The morphine was one hell of a drug.
Wayne was soft, patient with him. Saw him touching it, saw the way his eyes filled with tears. He’d never been particularly vain, hadn’t cared much about what he looked like to others, but this felt bigger than that. This felt like he was changed in a way that everyone could see.
Add it to the list of things people could bully him for.
He cried himself to sleep, Wayne’s hand in his, silently comforting in the way he’d always done.
When he woke up again the next morning, he was alone.
It was the first time he’d been alone since the boathouse.
He could swear he heard bats outside his door, screams coming from the attached bathroom, flashes of someone dying on the ceiling.
He felt the sharp sting of teeth puncturing his skin.
He felt hopelessness creep into his bones as he gave in.
Maybe this time they would finish the job.
“Eddie!”
Steve Harrington’s voice broke through the thoughts, panicked enough to bring Eddie back to his hospital bed within a second of hearing it.
“Shit, are you okay?” He continued, hand brushing against Eddie’s bandaged cheek.
Eddie nodded once, closed his eyes, leaned into the touch.
He could blame it on any number of things if Steve felt weird about it. The morphine, the flashback, the loneliness.
“You’re okay, Eddie. I promise. Won’t let anything happen to you,” Steve whispered.
Eddie believed him.
He fell back asleep with Steve’s hand gently cupping the mangled side of his face.
If Steve could still touch him there, then maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.
♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️
Steve came by every day, sometimes in the early morning, before visiting hours officially started, sometimes well after Wayne had left to get some sleep. He always smiled when he walked in, a genuine one, not the one everyone else gave that was so fully of pity and pain he couldn’t bear to make eye contact. He sat down on the side of the bed, not the chair like everyone else, not scared to be close.
And every single day, without fail, he would run his finger along the edge of Eddie’s bandage on his face, watching his own movements and cataloging any changes.
Eddie sat quietly, still, scared to put words to anything happening. Scared to tell Steve what it meant to him to have someone acknowledge his pain in this way. Scared to think Steve could mean anything by it.
It was easy to pretend Steve was doing this because he cared.
Maybe he did care.
But he didn’t care the way Eddie wanted him to, needed him to.
So he stayed quiet, still.
He watched.
He fell asleep while Steve talked about his day, the kids, what Joyce made Hopper do around the house.
He woke up alone most days, but that was okay, because Steve would be there eventually.
♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️
“You ready to get that thing off?” Wayne asked, gesturing to the bandage.
“Oh. Today?” Eddie suddenly didn’t want to ever be without the bandage. Removing it meant he’d see what was under it.
It meant seeing how much that place had ruined him.
The pull of the stitches hadn’t been as obvious with the pull of the bandage masking it.
But now it’s all he felt.
The nurse smiled at him as she put some antibiotic cream over the area, saying he would probably still have to keep it extra clean for the next week or so while the stitches did their job.
Wayne smiled at him in the way that meant he didn’t really want to smile at all, but knew Eddie needed him to.
Steve didn’t come.
Eddie didn’t sleep.
♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️♦️
He woke up with panic in his chest and a silent scream in his throat.
He woke up with Steve’s hand on his face.
Gentle, soft, but a strong comfort.
“Promise I washed them first. They said we have to be careful about germs,” Steve said quietly.
“You don’t have to. I know it’s…it’s gross. It’s ugly. I’m ugly.”
Steve shook his head. “No. Not gross. Not ugly. Alive.”
“Steve-“
“You’re alive, Eddie. You could have your entire face held together by staples and you would still be a miracle. You’d still be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”
Well, Steve’s charm wasn’t an exaggeration, was it?
He wasn’t even sure if the skin barely pulled together could blush anymore, or if the heat that should be on his cheek was burning on the outside the way it felt like it was on the inside.
“It’s gonna be awful when it heals. I saw it in the mirror.” Eddie could feel every stitch in his jaw, the few that spread across the corner of his mouth and bottom lip, the ones that were nearly up to his ear. “I’ll always have a crooked face. The scar will always be huge. It’s all anyone will see.”
“Then they aren’t looking.”
Eddie bit his lip, eyes searching Steve’s. “But you are.”
“No. I’m seeing. There’s a difference. I see you. I see what you’ve survived. I see the mark it left on you. I know it wasn’t just the scars that cover your skin.” Steve leaned his head down, touching Eddie’s forehead with his own. “We all have them. And we’re all still here. Your heart’s beating. That’s all that matters to me.”
“Who knew you were so good with words?” Eddie smiled sadly.
“Robin says I’m just good at not having a filter.”
“She’s right as always.” Eddie wrapped his fingers around Steve’s wrist, turning as slowly as he could to kiss his palm. “You’re not scared of it.”
“No. Are you?”
“I’m scared that you’ll change your mind when it’s always there as a reminder of what happened.”
Steve kissed his nose, making him smile for the first time in what felt like years.
“I’ll have the reminder that I got you out of there. That no matter what, the bats couldn’t finish the job. That you were stronger and you made it.” Steve let his hand drop, but quickly laced his fingers with Eddie’s. “I know it’s a lot to ask of you to trust me, but will you? For today?”
“Just today?”
“I’ll ask again tomorrow.”
“And what? Every day after that?”
Steve smirked.
His eyes were glistening with tears, but Eddie could tell it wasn’t sadness or fear.
“If that’s what I have to do.”
They hadn’t even talked about feelings, not really. Nothing that made any sense to Eddie, nothing that they could define. A part of Eddie was still convinced he was in a coma and dreaming this entire conversation up.
But even the nurse had noticed the way Steve watched him, how he touched him, how he fought for him. She said he’d been a firecracker from the moment he carried him into the hospital, dripping blood on the tile, staining the halls with his demands for help.
Wayne said he barely left his side the first day, only doing so when the doctors had told him they would call the cops if he didn’t.
Erica even noticed how things had changed between them, stating that she refused to watch her babysitter and the only DM she had respect for make out.
But Steve held Eddie, made him feel like he could get out of the hospital bed and live a life that wouldn’t keep him running. Steve was there.
Steve might even love him. If not now, then some day.
And Eddie could trust him today.
He could probably trust him tomorrow.
“Kiss me?” Eddie probably shouldn’t. The stitches tugged when he talked, and another mouth anywhere near his wounds was just asking for an infection.
But Steve would be careful. He knew what Eddie could handle.
It was barely a kiss. A graze of the lips at most.
But it was the best kiss Eddie had ever had.
At least until tomorrow.
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brittlebutch · 1 year ago
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btw Still thinking about the moment where Tula first realizes she's literally, mechanically unable to keep up with / catch Jaysohn when he bolts and runs his full speed. That revelation that she's not fast enough to stop him, or get alongside him, much less get in front of him to protect him if he needed it. The dread terror of it. :(
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dazais-guardian-angel · 1 year ago
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Chapter 110 is 13 pages long welcome to hell!!! so in a lot of ways this is just more fuel for a theory that I've had for a few weeks now, that's only gotten stronger with each recent season 5 episode, which is that the last episode of the season is gonna end on 110, and that Asagiri/Harukawa and Bones have been collaborating to make this happen, specifically because it's a major turning point that would be the only good place to end the season on.
When we started getting especially long chapters again (like from 25-35ish pages, with the exception of 107.5, the last two being some of the longest we've ever had), at first I just assumed that Asagiri/Harukawa got freed up from some other obligations they'd been having to cause the extremely short/half chapters, like promotional stuff for the anime/Beast movie, or working on light novels. But then 109 happened, with the "supposed" death of Dazai, and heavy emphasis at the end on how literally everyone is at their lowest point right now, and I got to thinking. 11 episodes is a strangely specific number for an anime season -- why not 12, or 13, or even 10, like you'd usually see? Why have we gotten suddenly gotten two 35 page chapters out of nowhere, that's almost unheard of at this point? They're both beautiful chapters, don't get me wrong (as always), and maybe A/H simply just didn't want to cut them in halves because they felt like the full emotional impact wouldn't hit/that there were no good cutoff points in them, but you can't deny that it's surprising, after all the shorter chapters we've been getting. Why has the anime been going at such insanely breakneck pacing for the most part ever since around the Sunday Tragedy chapters, even more so than it has in the past? So much so that it feels dangerously close to overtaking the manga?
Well, maybe, just maybe, it's because..... Asagiri decided a long time ago that whatever happens in 110 is the only point that feels "season finale"-worthy enough, in an arc that still isn't anywhere close to being completely wrapped up, and so both the manga and the anime have been specifically coordinated to reach that part within 2 and a half weeks of each other?
I've seen a lot of people now think season 5 will end with 109, and as much as my sadistic side would find that hilarious, I honestly don't think they'd do that and realistically don't want it to happen; it'd be so cruel to cliffhanger the anime for years like that, and just doesn't feel like a season cliffhanger BSD would do, a series that is ultimately hopeful and uplifting. Seasons 2 and 3 had a positive, conclusive ending; the only reasons seasons 1 and 4 didn't was because they're technically not really full seasons of their own, and are more like the first cour of another "season" that also came out that same year (seasons 1 and 2 both aired in 2016, so they're more like one big season, and seasons 4 and 5 have both aired this year, so they're also more like one big season, again taking into account how episodes 12 and 50 are not satisfying finales like episodes 24, 37, and hypothetically, 61, are). I really can't see season 5 ending with Dazai and Fukuzawa's supposed deaths, Sigma being unconscious and maybe close to death, Atsushi being vulnerable and limbless again, everyone we love still vampires, and the entire world being basically doomed; that's just too depressing and not like BSD at all. However, having said that, if it doesn't end there, there really isn't any good place to end the season before that, either, that feels in any way satisfying or like a finale at all. And so, to me, that only leaves after 109: chapter 110.
I think things are really gonna turn around next chapter. Like I said, everyone is at their lowest point right now, it cannot possibly get any worse, the framing of Dazai, Fukuzawa, and sskk at the end of 109 is telling us that; this is the time for the heroes to finally start winning again, with Aya being so close to pulling out the sword, and for all the thematic reasons other people have talked about to death that I don't need to go into here again. This upcoming chapter being so short again makes a part of me wary of 110 being "the one", so to speak, I won't lie, but at the same time, it's very possible that it needs to be that short because that's all the final episode of the season will be able to reasonably fit in, since it's already gonna be VERY close if they do make it all the way to 109. And at the end of the day, I don't doubt at all that Asagiri and Harukawa can make these the most monumental and game-changing mere 13 pages ever if they wanted to; a chapter does not at all need to be extremely long in order to be an important and impactful one, even if short ones we've gotten in the past haven't felt the most important.
An additional thought I've had, though this is much more crack territory than all this already is, is that since we know from Anime Expo that a Stormbringer movie at some point is highly likely (judging from Asagiri's reaction when someone brought it up), it's possible that chapter 110 and thus the final episode will involve the long-anticipated return of Verlaine and/or Adam, or at least some other major reference to Stormbringer, that would naturally and smoothly lead into a Stormbringer movie to explain things to people who haven't read the novel. It would make a lot of sense, especially since the s4 OP has the Old World sign behind Chuuya, which might be a hint that this has been in the works ever since seasons 4/5 were first in planning with Asagiri. We also know that Dazai and Chuuya's voice actors apparently struggled to record their lines together this season, which probably relates to 101 and possibly 109, but it could be 110 too.... I could be very wrong, as I'm no expert on this kind of thing, but I kinda doubt they would bring Chuuya's actor in for just the vampire growls, and Asagiri placing heavy emphasis on Chuuya's importance this season in that one interview gives me the impression that he's talking about much more than just 101/109. But that's the least solid evidence I have, that's just mostly based on vibes I get.
So basically, I think a lot of factors -- the unusual episode count, how close the anime is to catching up to the manga with three whole episodes left, the seemingly arbitrary recent chapter lengths, and the climactic events of 109 -- can tell us that 110 might be a very, VERY big deal. Again, there's of course no way this arc is anywhere near close to being finished, with so much left to address and resolve, but since it is currently incomplete in the manga, unlike the previously adapted arcs, if the anime was going to adapt it at all, they'd have to find a place that feels satisfying enough to end this season, knowing there won't be more anime for a long time after this, and so I think they specifically planned for that, from both Bones' and A/H's sides. 10 episodes might not have been enough to reach that point, but 12 or 13 might have been too many it wouldn't have been if Bones actually decided to slow down and let the story breathe the way it needs to, but this post isn't meant to criticize the anime, so maybe 11 was just right. And maybe Asagiri and Harukawa specifically pushed to make recent chapters longer than usual, in order to make sure that the manga reached the story content in 110 the monthly release right before season 5 was to end.
Is this just copium? Absolutely. Am I going to look like an absolute clown in two days when this post ages like milk? Probably. But the evidence is There, so let me just enjoy my delusions until Sunday, okay 🥂🫡
#bungou stray dogs#seriously call me a clown and point and laugh at me if I'm proven wrong all you want#but I really feel like there's solid evidence for this#either s5 isn't gonna reach 109 at all (but I seriously cannot fathom where you would want to stop before then) or they'll go beyond it#if they really do end it with 109....... well i'll give Bones kudos for having the balls to do that ig lol#maybe i'm underestimating (overestimating???) them idk#also just to clarify I don't wanna make it sound like I think Asagiri let the anime/Bones dictate the manga's pacing#like I'm sure these were his/their (him and Harukawa's) own decisions first and foremost#not that (if this theory is true) the anime had a major impact on how the chapters were split and that it-#-would have been extremely different otherwise#i'm pretty confident in that Asagiri does not do anything with BSD he isn't comfortable with#and he doesn't let anyone tell him how to write his story#I just feel like he worked with Bones to make this near-simultaneous release happen#BUT if this is the case I don't feel like it had any major effect on the writing/final product that is the manga#like the last handful of chapters have been so incredible#so I at least am still perfectly happy lol#(i mean i'm devastated and a nervous wreck but u know 🫡 in a good way lmao)#anyway 110 in two days please let this theory be true because I need some fucking hope already#please let Oda show up as Dazai's guardian angel to help (see what I did there-)#it would be the perfect way to end the collective season that is 4/5 with s4 beginning with Oda and now ending with Oda#Asagiri are you reading me are you picking up what I'm putting down please please a ghost Oda is long overdue please-#Oda Verlaine Adam just GIVE ME SOMEONE ALREADY 😭😭😭#MAYBE EVEN A TASTE OF THE FYODOR BACKSTORY TO TIE INTO HIM BEING IN ANIME UNTOLD ORIGINS. THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS
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miraclesprinkle · 1 year ago
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No memories remain of anything before
Yes, I'm with you in a garden of carnage
In a mayhem of trickster and tricked!
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faggylittleleatherboy · 24 days ago
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I’m not excluding Peter because I think he wasn’t a part of the four, I am excluding Peter because I don’t like him. Hope this helps
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izzy-b-hands · 2 months ago
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Was doing okay holding back all of the fear re: the potential election outcome until literally this second what the fuck to my brain lmao
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unknownarmageddon · 1 year ago
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I uh I wanted one of them to have tattoos
Dust belongs to Ask-Dusttale Death’s Doorstep (this band AU) and the designs belong to me
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httpiastri · 3 months ago
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hihihi, just dropping in to say sorry for not being very active, but i started a new school today and ive been very very nervous and not able to rlly go on here 😕 butttt things felt good so im happy (ish) and i'm hoping to be able to post my paul summer break headcanons before the weekend is over <33 hope everyone's doing well !!!
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angy-grrr · 4 months ago
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There is gonna be more than that coming from the poll, but whatever it is vote Kacchan/Deku for best hero. Idc who wins i just need them to be together again
if they just announced it today without saying anything before, I would probably immediately do it.
Right now im just bitter because of the hype -I thought it would at least slightly relate to the actual story (adaptations of other stories, extra content for the volume which once again may I remind everyone is extremely short, almost half what a manga volume usually looks which is a huge problem).
This disappointed me extremely, as its not even related to any content from the manga beyond the characters it uses. I get that many ppl will work on this, and that artist will get excited over being able to get the spotlight, some will be able to ask specific questions, and a character will get a statue and a movie.
Still extremely disappointed because of the "special project will be announced on the 5th *wink wink*".
I can't feel excitement over it as, in my mind, I lost something that felt better -more content related to the story. So at best this would be "oh cool I can try it", a feeling pretty similar to the other announcements -not my favorite thing in the world, but I wont reject it and try to see what comes out of it.
This isnt at best to me right now
#grrr talking#grrr being a hater#literally one of the special things was already announced -the fan book#bc im feeling negative I will say negative stuff here so beware#as far as I saw the fan book is a way of getting another product without paying artists#and days before we already knew it would happen#the statue thing feels like the art exhibition like okay thats cool still doesnt compare to more stories like at all#and I will never see any of that in person ever so why would I get extra happy about that?#I know this is an homage so we can feel like we are closer to their world and all but the statues have a bad connotation there#vote so we can see the protagonist and the deuteragonist in a movie#im sorry why do we need to massively vote so they get content? they are literally the most important characters#and what would even be the movie about? For all I know they could do whatever they wanted with the characters#a movie based on who the most popular character is... great. unless passionate ppl are involved in the project it doesnt sound like a good#a good story could come out of it#as its based on who is most popular among voters not an actual story the characters need#so unless 278 characters already have backstories and stuff planned that would get explored in a movie#i dont trust what they could do with this#and I dont want to give them my hope. They didnt need to make an announcement for the announcement#that only has made me feel super bitter#will I get over it later in the day? probably#I still want to express myself#the only thing in my mind about using this opportunity is still bitter lmao#just asking why didnt you make them hold hands#because I can try to justify it with my own theories#but that doesnt mean anything now does it
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good-beanswrites · 9 months ago
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Just wanted to plant an idea if you wanted a bit of fuel: Mahiru asking Yuno to come to her cell before everything goes down.
Edit: I forgot the ask didn't say it but this is part of Kyanako's incredible Order Of Attack AU!
Didn't mean for this to become a mini Mappi study but here we are ✨ Thank you for the request! I fully intended to write them hanging out, but it's more right before they hang out lol. Went a bit on-the-nose with foreshadowing, but isn't that the fun part? It has become Emotional Over Mahiru Hour...
I kept things vague, but TW for mentioning her boyfriend's state of potential self-harm
Mahiru tried not to act superstitious, she really did. As much as she loved the idea of little luck charms, or avoided easy signs of misfortune, it was easier to keep quiet about such ridiculous things.
Maybe catching a bride’s bouquet meant no guarantees; maybe there was no real harm in stepping underneath ladders, maybe a coin tossed into a fountain had no real magic to its wish. However, the one thing she knew for sure held power was a lucky presence. Being in the right place at the right time could alter everything. And today was the right time for something. There was this waiting in the air. The prison had been holding its breath. Mahiru knew it was time to release it all.
“You must be so lonely, why don’t you let big sis Mahiru keep you company?” She beamed at Amane.
She often recalled the good fortune that she and a certain young man had crossed paths on the university terrace. She used to laugh with him about the wonderful coincidence of bumping into each other outside of the bakery, then the convenience store. 
Though she’d never spoken about it to him, she was also grateful for many occasions where she walked in on him at the precise moment to talk him out of something reckless. She always told him that they’d do everything together. He didn’t need to be alone anymore. 
“I wish to be alone. I need peace of mind to think.” Amane turned away from the cell door.
It was a good thing, too. Mahiru’s smile wasn’t as convincing as she said, “o-oh. Of course.”
She made her way around the panopticon, hearing Fuuta pace his cell in anticipation. He must have felt it too, this holding of breath. 
Or perhaps not. He turned down her offer for a bit of company, including a few more colorful words than Amane had. Mahiru just apologized for bothering him and headed back to her cell. She wasn’t sure where Mikoto was at this hour, but she didn’t feel like smiling through a third rejection.
She shook her head back and forth. She wished the motion could rattle the voices inside, she wished she could shake them all away. With her arms secured in place she could no longer cover her ears. She used to hum to keep them at bay, but lately they’d been too loud to stifle. They just kept on talking.
Their words told her the two were right. Nobody needed her company. No – nobody wanted it. Being together hadn’t helped her boyfriend. In fact, being together had been the very thing that got him killed. No wonder Amane and Fuuta wanted to avoid her. 
So then, this was for the best. She would rather deal with the brief sting of refusal than stumble in one day to find them hurt… or worse. As much as she tried to avoid the superstition of it all, the voices reminded her that her very presence could mean life or death. 
“Mappi, are you alright?” Mahiru hadn’t realized a tear had slipped down her cheek until she hurried to swipe it away in front of Yuno. 
“Hah, I’m fine! Just fine.” It was impossible to fool her, Mahiru had learned, but that never stopped her from trying. 
At least she always spoke tactfully. “Rough morning?”
Mahiru shifted her arms in her uniform, making a small sound of agreement.
“Can I do anything to help? What if I stay with you for a bit? I can do your hair, and…”
The voices were right. Amane and Fuuta knew it, too. Presences did hold power, and Mahiru’s was cursed.
But she would sound foolish admitting such a fear to Yuno. She'd heard plenty from the voices about how stupid and airheaded she was, there was no use in getting the same lecture from someone as grounded as her.
Mahiru managed a weak protest, unable to explain her real reasoning. Yuno was insistent. She didn’t give much of a choice. Could she feel the strangeness of the prison, as well? 
At last, Mahiru allowed her shoulders to sag. Yuno was lucky. And kind. Having her nearby would do her good. Amane and Fuuta would be alright. Mahiru had tried spending more time with them after verdicts were announced. Now, she made a mental note to pull back. If her love couldn’t save anyone, at least she could spare them from her curse. They would be safe. 
“Yes. Please stay. The truth is... I don't want to be alone.”
#milgram#mahiru shiina#yuno kashiki#amane and fuuta mentioned#i dont know how well this all fits in with your vision of the au but i had a ton of fun with this lmao sorry 😂#oh hey if anyone knows any japanese superstitions like those in the beginning lmk#i was trying to research them but i kept getting lucky symbols/words - not necessarily actions like that#anyway thank you so much for this!! it was a really interesting moment to capture >:0#drabbles that take me way too long to combine my three brain cells but im really pleased with the end result#i had a lot of Mahiru Thoughts but it took a bit of fiddling to make them fit together#the superstitiousness - the focus on one's presence - the parallels with his bf - what she's dealing with from the voices#im glad it came together semi-smoothly in the end asdfsd#i didnt mean for mahiru t break the fourth wall or anything --#i always saw her as a master at picking up on social changes/cues so she can tell when things are most tense/kotoko is fully prepared#but she doesnt consciously know it -- she just knows that things feel Off#not only do the attacks confirm mahirus fear that shes cursed - but yunos involvement confirms her belief that shes extra lucky#i wonder if shed still end up spending all her time with yuno now that she thought she was such a protective person...#i couldnt articulate it right since the end was wrapping up so nicely - but mahiru starts to wonder if most people are fine being left alon#and *shes* the odd one out for craving company#then she feels isolated because by getting what she wants shes dooming someone else#i mean... if everyone you try to get close to starts getting hurt... wouldnt you worry about the same...?#AHAHAHAHA hope you enjoyed 🙃#*posts this then retreats back into the void for a bit*#drabbles
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carcarrot · 6 months ago
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do i really want to make individual drinks again
#reaching back into the file cabinets of my mind to remember how i made certain drinks when i worked at the cafe#in preparation for the possibility of this new job#it would certainly mean far less goofing off time than i have at my current job. and i value my goofing off time dearly#but the people here are so fucking annoying lmao. i hate them soooo much#not that the people at this new job would be any better. we're still dealing with investment bankers#godddddd. what i really would want (which would be impossible)#would be to go back to working at the cafe but like. still have paid time off and insurance lmao#but the cafe was a small business and he was not offering paid time off and insurance. and the pay was way less#but i did get to play whatever music i wanted. unfortunately you cant live on that#like i can always say no to this new job if its offered to me. but is my goofing off time worth:#2 dollars less in pay and a half hour to an hour's more commute. well i dont know#a shorter commute would mean i could sleep more. and have more time at home .#i mean i probably don't Need all this goofing off time. but its nice#i dont knowwwwwww#like even though im a bit nervous abt doing it again i know that i would easily fall back into the routine of making drinks#which i was fairly good at. my one drawback is that i cant do latte art but i dont know that theyd really care here#and (because i found the menu of where id work) theres not a ton of drink options?? just the standard stuff#its being called a starbucks cafe but 1) its not managed by them and 2) it does not have their 5 billion drink options#so thats good. less to worry about#doesnt look like i even have to make anything foodwise which i had to at the cafe#here it looks like people can just buy a pastry and thats it#the hours are like. the same i work now. also good#sorry im like using this post to think through my thoughts.#uhhhh oh i looked up the manager who looks like a weenie so im not keen on the prospect of interviewing with him#but i probably would have thought that about my current manager if id seen a pic of him prior to interviewing. i guess???#and with these kind of catering units it seems you dont often deal directly with the manager that much anyway#i just gotta see if i get good vibes#rn i have unsure vibes. but i need a sign to see if this could be good for me#oh id also save money on transportation. and taxes! bc i wouldnt be working in ny anymore#lol oops tag limit. well i hope you enjoyed my job thoughts you probably didnt i know i didnt
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rando-daily · 9 months ago
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im bored and sick and boredd?? do any of u guys have any cool music recs ? :3
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microwaving-tesilid-argente · 4 months ago
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reading the comments of OI stories is so unpleasant sometimes like 😭 i hate seeing people rage and curse at characters who aren't the protags. bro it's not their fault that they're antagonists and they're not even THAT annoying lmao
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disdaidal · 1 year ago
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I do love that I'm both freezing and having the worst back pains.
But at least I still have a roof above my head, right?
#personal#so here's the thing:#i don't think any of the radiators in my apartment are currently working#which kind of sucks bc it's winter in northern europe lmao#one of them had blown a fuse. which i changed yesterday. and now it's cold again. so there's definitely something wrong with it#two of them. which are located in my bedroom/living room combination. have red lights on#but they are both cold and not heating up my apartment. which means i'm freezing here#so it could be a thermostat or something. i don't know#but because my place was a mess. after having worked for a few months and not having energy to do anything else#i had to clean up here yesterday. because i couldn't call my landlord who lives closeby in case he decided to drop in and see#the mess i was living in. to you know. check on those radiators#so anyway. my apartment is pretty okay now. stuff i still need to clean though but it's mostly minor#but i seem to have strained my lower back doing it. or from sleeping in an awkward position because i was cold#the kind of pain i haven't experienced in months which must be a record for me now#but yeah now my lower back hurts. i can't properly crouch or even twist my body to the side without my knees trying to give out#and i've already taken painkillers for it today. which kind of put me to sleep again and had a lovely little nap a while ago#but this is bothersome#i hope my back feels better by tomorrow so i can finish my cleaning and then message my landlord#because i don't want to freeze here anymore xD and i also don't want my houseplants dying because of it so
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