#so the only person marcy can have a real conversation with is herself

[miraclesprinkle]

No memories remain of anything before

Yes, I'm with you in a garden of carnage

In a mayhem of trickster and tricked!

[sophfandoms53]

So now that you caught up with Amphibia and cause it'd be fun seeing you answer an Amphibia question, do you think it does a better job conveying important information on screen than Ducktales inspite of usually having their episodes at 11 minutes instead of 22 like Ducktales and why?

Oh absolutely.

I cannot stress enough how much I love the way the conflict between Anne and Hop-pop in regards to the music box was handled. My favorite part of that plot was even though Anne said she forgave him at the of After The Rain, deep down she was still hurt and struggled to truly forgive him for lying about and hiding the music box.

The conflict isn’t one-sided either. Both of them have their reasons for what they did, at the end of the day Hop-pop was the one who messed up, but he did what he thought was right to protect his family. He owns up to hurting Anne and that he made a mistake by never telling her what he found out about the box and it’s potential dangers.

Having there still be tension between them during the majority of First Temple was a great way to show how sometimes forgiveness takes awhile to be accepted. Sometimes a simple apology isn’t enough.

The best part of this conflict is at the breaking point when Hop-pop is begging Anne to tell him how he can fix this and help her forgive him and Anne straights up tells him, “I don’t know.”

That type of response is completely believable and real.

And then this wonderful conversation that happens afterwards,

“I just need time... Look, I want things to go back to the way they were but... but...”

“I’m sorry, Anne. You take all the time you need. Maybe it’s enough to admit we’ve still got issues instead of pretending they don’t exist.”

“I think that’d be good.”

Anne knows Hop-pop is sorry, but knowing that somebody is sorry sometimes isn’t enough to fix things. When someone hurts you as badly as Hop-pop has hurt Anne, that’s a wound that needs time to heal.

And the fact Hop-pop is willing to let her take her time and no longer force her to forgive him shows how much he’s grown to love Anne as his own kid and how much he understands Anne as a person. He loves and respect her and he’s gonna give her the space she needs to let herself forgive him.

This show is so good at having people talk and acknowledge their issues and actually work on those issues. Which is more than what DT tried to do.

One of the things I’ve been enjoying about Amphibia is how they aren’t afraid to acknowledge the conflicts they’ve created, they deal with those conflicts and the characters learn from those conflicts and it shows.

This is done really well when it comes to Sasha’s story, who is a really well written character, and how the other characters react to her presence. The constant suspicion the Plantars and Anne have about Sasha the entire time she’s around because of what she did to them back in the season one finale? Completely valid and justified.

Anne continuing to stand up to Sasha and letting her know Sasha can’t push her around anymore? Amazing.

Sasha trying to put on an act that she’s changed and is only following Grimes’ plan but we still have those moments she could possibly be having second thoughts about her loyalty? Again, really well done.

I really adore the way Anne, Sasha and Marcy have all been written, between their personalities, stories, growth, and arcs, they’re all unique and so far been done really well.

Amphibia is such a fun time and it’s so good to watch a show and feel like every episode is worth it. They take time for their silly episodic episodes but they never forget the story they’re telling nor the tensions and conflicts that follow it, and it’s an amazing watch.

One final thing is that I am so happy that the Plantars don’t talk about how they’re family every five freaking seconds. I swear to god DuckTales said the word family every other sentence and preached it like it was some type of religion and it was like omg pls stfu about how you’re family and how amazing your family is and actually SHOW us how you’re a family. The way DuckTales treated its family concept is a whole thing and while I don’t dislike the entirety of how they handled it, we definitely did not need the show to shove its family message down our throats I can tell you that.

The Plantars just are a family. We see how much Hop-pop, Sprig, Polly and Anne love each other, how close they’ve become, how much they would sacrifice for each other, how much they’ve grown, and how much they care for one another. We are SHOWN all that and seeing a family be a family is so beautiful and the found family message of the show is so well done because Anne is just a part of the Plantars. They love her and she loves them.

There’s no preaching, no shoving anything in anyone’s faces, no saying “we’re family” every 2 seconds, none of that, it’s just... A family.

The Plantars are family and we will show you how they are a family.

[eggumura]

((have a drabble i made for sasharcy week day two: calamity))

((im drawing most days, but im doing these drabbles for the days that i didnt have any ideas for, so i've got one more planned!))

There’s no real way that he can put it into words.

His best attempt to explain it would be wrapped in juxtaposition and paradoxes; it was sudden, but it had been creeping up on him for hours prior; it held him in place, but it made him strong enough to finally move; he felt powerless against its force, but he knew that it was his greatest strength and ally.

When Anne had come clean about her own experience with her ‘calamity form’ (Marcy came up with the name, and neither of them were about to tell them no after everything), she had made it clear that she hated it. It felt awful, she said, like the eye of a storm. She never wanted to use it again, and she was mad enough at herself already just for using it as many times as she had. Of course, Sasha had done his best to support Anne, but he can’t stop wondering why she saw things so differently than her.

Maybe it’s a lingering part of his ‘past self’. Maybe it’s just the part of him that he wishes wasn’t still there, the part that still screams for control, the part that’s too eager to resort to violence. Maybe the simple fact of the matter is that Anne is a better person than he is.

But he’s grateful for his power.

When he was too stupidly weak, too tired and too in love to do the right thing, he had been pulled along by something he had given up on assuming he could do. It made sense that he wouldn’t be able to tap into his gem, after all, after it had been charged. But then Marcy- no, not Marcy, it wasn’t them- had done it. And their gem was also charged. And Anne wasn’t going to get them out of this mess, not while she was carefully herding the citizens of Wartwood out of danger and nursing a near-mangled arm. In that moment, Sasha knew that he was the last line of defence, that he had to stop the Night because nobody else could.

But he didn’t want to.

Because the only way to do anything, in that moment, would be to hurt Marcy. And he was- and still is- selfish enough to put the whole damn multiverse at risk just because he doesn’t want to hurt her.

That’s why his powers had been somewhat of a miracle when he snapped into action and did the right thing, for the first time in however long. Through the blur in his mind, he managed to hurt Marcy, and then he managed to save them.

And, when his mind came back to him, he was on the ground, and his arms were heavy and warm and itching with the limp weight held in them. There was no subtle glow from under Marcy’s eyelids. He hardly knew what had happened, but he breathed a heavy sigh of relief and pulled them in closer. All he could think with certainty was that he was never going to let them go again.

Now, he looks over at Marcy, in bed at eight pm, because they got so tired so easily these days, and he’s glad. Even if Anne denounces her old powers and insists that something bad would have happened if she used them any more than she had, even if Marcy quiets down and glazes over whenever the conversation turns to them, Sasha’s glad that he had that power.

He groans internally at his insufferable past self (you know, from the distant times of literally a few months ago), and thanks those weird cryptic gems.

Because without all of that, he wouldn’t have been able to be here, with Marcy, sitting up next to them in bed and checking their pulse too often for somebody who claims to be okay. He wouldn’t feel that unsettling and addicting warmth from where their head rests against his side, and he certainly wouldn’t be so embarrassingly and obviously in love.

With a barely-there smile, he shuts his phone off, leans down to press a kiss to Marcy’s forehead (smile only growing as they giggle and lean further into him), and decides that it wouldn’t kill him to sleep early, just this once.

((i am literally so unhappy with this but im forcing myself to post this because i want to do something for every day of sasharcy week OOPS))

[sepublic]

Night Drivers/Return to Wartwood!

           This episode was REALLY GOOD you guys!!!

           Like, this was a PHENOMENAL return to the show after a months-long hiatus, and genuinely action-packed, hilarious, and had me on the edge of my seat! It was just SSSOOOO enjoyable and I’ve got a lot to say about it!

           Firstly, I LOVE all of these continuity references, to Anne reading Bessie’s manual, Wally being Walliam, as well as that off-screen reference to Hop Pop and Polly being given that wish list ahead of time! It really makes the journey feel all the more cohesive and connected, bound together… And likewise, I love Anne and Hop Pop’s dynamic as the eldest of the family who have the most common sense and have to look after everyone, it’s great! I love Hop Pop’s dream gag and how he’s fairly certain there’s something symbolic to discern, but he can’t tell what- That’s a mood, and really all of his antics and declaring himself a god within was hilarious. Anne’s mood conversely starting nice but turning dark was great, and I legit expected some nightmare fuel before the reveal that it was just licorice; And shoot, now I want to try licorice-flavored froyo! I’ve got a few yogurtland coupons, but I doubt that’s a flavor, at least as far as I remember…

           The monster and background design in Amphibia remains particularly impeccable in Night Drivers, like that snake with what appears to be a decoy prey animal in its mouth to attract good Samaritans; Or even just the rocks having skeletons and bones smeared across, implying they’ve crushed and run over plenty of other passengers on their way down! That foggy bit was legitimately surreal and creepy and reminded me of Silent Hill and this one movie called The Mist, I believe- I’ve never watched it but I get the general premise, and I wonder if that scene was an homage? Also, that Frobo cameo was AMAZING and clever, how it’s grabbing for the Plantars… And that joke about Anne eating Hop Pop was hilarious, I’m sorry but like; Hop Pop is HIGHLY underrated in my opinion!

           The whole chase sequence from Man Door Hook Car Door Hand, or however it goes… The entirety of Night Drivers really reminded me of those urban legends, and the twist at the end where the hitchhiker is actually a helpful ghosts; It was some nice lore and world-building, but also reminded me a LOT of this one story I heard… Which, it was probably a reference towards, but this season really makes the world of Amphibia feel so much more fleshed-out and real, perilous and kind of messed-up, etc.! I saw the twist with Zachariah being helpful, but you know what they say; It’s about the journey, not the destination! Well, actually, it IS about the destination, it’s why Sprig and Polly decided to drive at night in the first place, to get to Wartwood; Speaking of which…

           Return to Wartwood! Another amazing episode, I love that bit of Ivy hiding in a disguise, I saw it and couldn’t be fooled; And I’ve MISSED Wartwood, it’s felt like a year since we’ve last seen it! Which, we technically saw it in the first episode of the summer last year… But it was such a brief passing-through, that coupled with the hiatus between Seasons 1 and 2, and it DOES feel like it’s been over a year to finally get back to good-old antics here! I actually felt the homesickness and joy of the Plantars here… And as I said before, that gag about only Hop Pop and Polly knowing, but to THEM of course they remember, and them just helplessly slapping the floor of the Fwagon was surprisingly humorous. I have to wonder how their shopping trip at Newtopia would’ve gone differently, had they remembered the wish list! And don’t be so hard on yourself Sprig, YOU didn’t know of the wish list, so you can blame it all on your sister and Hop Pop; Besides, you have those broken halves of a staff…?

           I love how Anne has progressed and grown into like, the exasperated, common sense person who’s getting tired of the antics now –even if she’s not fully immune herself- and wants no part in things, her growth feels clear and impeccable here. Seeing the Chicka-lisk from the intro FINALLY debut was like seeing the Intro Worm from the Owl House in its season finale; A wonderful surprise to really tie things together! And that whole sequence where the Plantars perform a satanic ritual just to get away from their responsibilities, that Loggle jumpscare, just the realization that they’re already wearing cloaks at night with candles and a glowing red circle; The escalation had me rolling!

           The Plantars were surprisingly thoughtful in their choice of monster, even if things still went wrong because the townspeople have learned to be more defiant, no thanks to Anne and Hop Pop; The gag of Toady being used as a petrified shield, only for Mayor Toadstool to realize he WAS petrified… Those two frogs looking into each other’s eyes, Maddie knowing about the whole thing, I love it! It just flowed and was done so well, the whole bit felt like a video game boss fight, especially with Hop Pop and Sylvia dodging the shockwaves… The Chicka-lisk being pretty chill was kind of adorable, and I enjoyed the callback to the town’s formations against outside monsters, with this one ACTUALLY working… But for completely unexpected reasons that had me burst in unexpected laughter. Though, for all I know, it WAS the intent to offend- But regardless, seeing Toadstool welcome Anne as part of the formation and she can just roll with it and KNOWS… It’s such a welcome development from the very first episode, the growth is real and it feels like a journey we’re looking back upon!

           Also, Anne’s sword skills were freaking amazing, as was her deflecting the petrification beams; Can’t wait to see more of that in action, she’s quite the fighter and Paladin at this point, and I kind of want to see more of the townspeople in action as like, something that they can rally for in later battles and story events! I really want an action-adventure game for Amphibia now, actually… I mean, I’ve always wanted one, but now it hits harder, especially with the recent Legend of Zelda vibes from the newest trailer.

           …Also, SPRIVY KISS I WAS SQUEALING LIKE ANNE THE ENTIRE TIME THEY REALLY ARE THAT ADORABLE YIIIISSSSSS!!!!!

           This episode was a WONDERFUL return to the show that blew my expectations out of the swampy water with the pacing, the direction, the humor and moments, the callback and action, the surprising horror bits and chaos; And I appreciate the Plantars being called out as the chaos family, they’re like the Tooks in the Shire from the Hobbit! This episode was timed well, it does feel like a return to home after so long, and it makes my heart warm as I feel sentimental and happy… I’m honestly down to just a few episodes of getting back to Wartwood, to those good old times before the story beats return with Marcy and Sasha! Here’s looking forward to next week, F-Annes!

[paragonrobits]

You make out marcy and peebles to be so different.... but they were both feral children and they WILL go at their worst enemies with whatever hard object they can find nearby

depends on your precise definition of ‘feral’ here! PB absolutely was, to the best of my knowledge; I was one of those who thought that the friendly gum in ‘Simon and Marcy’ was a proto-PB and from what we knew of her at the time, that was a reasonably plausible guess. This alone says a lot about her.

And while Marcy is self-raised in some aspects, there’s hints she’s spent pretty much most of her life with SOME kind of guardian; first Simon, though he was constantly falling apart and dissolving into the madness of the Ice Crown, and then Hunson came back into her life. He was obviously not a good parent and incredibly selfish at the BEST of times, but he’s similar enough to a modern negligent parent in terms of generally providing for her needs. Marceline didn’t have to raise herself, really; part of what makes her interesting is that she actually remembers life pre-Mushroom War, and is close enough to a real life adult with memories of the old ways that it makes her both intriguing and an odd one out in the fantastical world of Ooo.

And that’s fair enough, but then again, so will the rest of the cast. Finn is the most obvious case, but so will Jake, and Susan, and everyone else. They all go hard when need be; Ooo is the sort of world where if you don’t do that, you won’t live long enough to have the opportunity.

And the fact of the matter is, when you get down to it, PB is an authoritarian with a deep-seated conviction that only SHE knows what is right, and the whole concept of trust is extremely hard for her. She’d hard and cold, at the best of times, because that’s what she needed to be. This is a person who, for all she valued the shirt PB gave her, is so prideful that she was willing to leave it (and her relationship with Marcy) to rot essentially out of pride. It took Finn’s song to get her and Marcy to even begin talking again (out of pride, and hurt feelings, respectively),

Conversely, Marceline is soft. This isn’t obvious, because she hides it and enjoys putting up a persona of a scary and badass monster, but she is genuinely kind and easily brought to tears and afraid of being hurt; hence, she puts up her defenses but they collapse pretty easily.

Marceline ACTS tough and badass, but she’s genuinely a person who’d rather hang out with her buddies and jam while trying not to think about how many friends of hers faded away. PB is sweet, and it appears to be a genuine attitude, but she’s also a legit mad scientist who cuts off the limbs of little creatures to see what happens (while they don’t feel pain from this, its still off putting) and has little concern with national or personal boundaries in the name of what SHE thinks is the correct action.

heck, just look at how they got their respective titles; PB made her kingdom and then took responsibility for her creations (which puts her up on Victor Frankenstein, I suppose), while Marceline killed off the vampires to protect humanity with her soul-eating abilities, and in doing so, became a vampire herself AND became queen because they run on ‘if you kill it, you claim it’ rules of rulership.

[gunterfan1992]

Episode Review: ‘Obsidian’ (Distant Lands, Ep. 2)

Airdate: November 19, 2020

Story by: Jack Pendarvis, and Kate Tsang, Adam Muto, & Hanna K. Nyström

Storyboarded by: Hanna K Nyström, Anna Syvertsson, Iggy Craig, Mickey Quinn, Maya Petersen, James Campbell, & Ashlyn Anstee

Directed by: Miki Brewster (supervising), Sandra Lee (art)

Of all the many colorful characters in Adventure Time perhaps none has a more elaborate backstory than Marceline the Vampire Queen. In many ways, Marceline really was the writers’ gold goose, engendering complex story after complex story. By the time the series ended, the vampire’s life had in more ways than one been woven into the very fabric of the show’s mythology.

But because I am a Marceline fanboy—whose zeal for her majesty is rivaled perhaps only by Glassboy himself—I always felt like the show could have done even more with her backstory; I mean, when the series finale aired, there were still plenty of questions that had yet to be answered (What happened to her mom? What is Simon going to do now that he’s “cured”? How did Marcy and Bubblegum meet? Were they romantically involved before the events of the main series? How did it all go south?). Nevertheless, when "Island Song�� played for the last time at the end of “Come Along with Me,” I forced myself to push aside this minor, fannish grievance and applaud the show for writing such an excellent character. I didn’t need for every last detail of her life to be explicitly shown on screen. I was happy.

But then, about a year ago, news dropped that one of the Distant Lands specials would really delve into the history of Marceline and Bubblegum’s relationship. In an instant, I tossed my stoic “I-am-satisified-with-what-I-received” mentality right out the window. We were going to get another Marceline episode, and it was going to dive back into her elaborate backstory!?! I could barely contain my excitement as I waited for the episode to drop.

Well, was my excitement worth it? Or was “Obsidian” a big ol’ let down—a tragic victim to grandiose expectations that were never meant to be fulfilled?

I’m quite happy to say that not only was “Obsidian” a remarkable special in its own right, but it is arguably one of the strongest episodes of Adventure Time, period.

The plot of this episode is fairly standard, as far as Adventure Time episodes go: Glassboy (a new character voiced by Michaela Dietz, the voice of Amethyst from Steven Universe) accidentally sets a giant fire monster named Molto Larvo loose on the Glass Kingdom, and Marceline and Bubblegum—who we learn have been living their best cottagecore life together in Marcy’s cavehouse—are forced to save the day. But the series’ writers take this otherwise quotidian adventure idea—a story which, at least on paper, could have easily fit in during any of the show’s many seasons—and employ it as something of a Trojan Horse, using it as a pretense to delve into both Marcy’s traumatic childhood and her and Bubblegum’s romantic history. And, boy, is it a ride!

With regard to the former story thread, the audience learns that sometime after the Mushroom Bomb detonated, Marceline and her mother, Elise (voiced this time not by Rebecca Sugar, but by actress Erica Luttrell, who played Sapphire in Steven Universe), roamed the wastelands in search of shelter; after Marceline’s mother came down with some sort of sickness, she sent Marceline to be on her own. Elise was hoping that this would spare Marcy the trauma of seeing her mother die before her very eyes, but due to some communication issues, Marceline never learned what became of her mother. As such, Marceline began blaming herself for “leaving” her mom to die in the wreckage of the world. This plot thread is perhaps one of the bleakest that Adventure Time has ever explored, and the show does it masterfully, balancing the darkness (e.g., Marceline’s mother coughing up blood) with bright spots of comedy (e.g., the "wazzup” dog) that never feel distasteful.

Likewise, when it comes to the story thread about Marcy and Bubblegum’s romantic history, the special does not hold back. We get to see “Bubbline” at its best and its worst. I have a feeling that the word “fan service” is going to be used by a lot of folks when talking about this episode. As the AV Club writer William Hughes notes, this word is usually hurled around like a pejorative, but it aptly describes the appeal of “Obsidian”. After all, this episode really is “fan service at its finest”—not only does it give the ravenous shippers the story tidbits that they have so long to see (e.g., the moment Marcy gave Bubblegum her rock shirt, Bubbline’s epic break-up), but—and this is very important—it does so in a way that is fundamentally meaningful. “Obsidian” does not feel self-indulgent, unnecessary, or pandering. On the contrary, it is overflowing with deep emotion that allows us to better understand how Bubblegum and Marceline really feel about one another. Sure, over the centuries that the two gals have bummed around Ooo, they have bickered and fought, but deep down, their love is passionate. In many ways, it is like the titular obsidian, which means that nothing short of an enchanted diamond pickax is strong enough to break Bubbline apart for good.

(It’s also quite nice that after seasons and seasons of tip-toeing around the question of Marceline and Bubblegum’s sexuality, “Obsidian” can explicitly focus on their life together, showing the two characters cuddling, kissing, and dancing. In terms of LGBTQ+ representation, it’s a huge leap forward, and I’m so happy that Adventure Time has had a part to play in normalizing queer relationships!)

Marceline episodes almost always featured a catchy diddy, but "Obsidian” really cranks things up to 11 by featuring a whole bevy of catchy songs, several of which are perhaps among the show’s strongest. The first right banger, “It’s Funny,” is the song that plays over the special’s credits. With a grunge-meets-riot grrrl feels, this track really sets the tone for the episode, signaling to the audience that we’re in for, as Lumpy Space Princess once put it, some “drama bombs.” The next standout is “Woke Up,” a brutally honest diss track that Marceline used both to contain Molto Larvo and break up with Princess Bubblegum centuries prior to the start of this episode. This song was written by pop rocker Zuzu, and it—as the kids say—slaps. Layers of fuzzed-out guitar and digitally processed vocals are used expertly to sell Marceline’s emotions and convey how, on the surface, she’s delighted to no longer be under Bubblegum’s romantic spell... even if her heart may not be so sure.

But arguably, the musical jewel of the entire special is “Monster,” a somber ballad that Marceline sings to Bubblegum when they find themselves trapped in the collapsing furnace and are facing what they believe is certain death. Written by indie pop artist Half Shy, this song is, in many ways, something of the inverse of “Woke Up”: soft, happy, and filled to the brim with a sort of love that few are lucky to receive and even fewer can honestly express. Not only does “Monster” finally cement Marceline’s real, visceral love for Bubblegum in song form (remember: almost every prior Bubbline song was either indirect or delivered by an angsty, heartbroken Marceline), but it also “tames” Molto Larvo, allowing him to metamorphose into a strange but harmless cat-butterfly critter. Just like “Come Along with Me,” “Obsidian” proves that the power of love and music will save us in the end—if not physically, then at least emotionally.

Regarding the production-side of things, there’s a lot of praise to doll out. First off, the look and style of “Obsidian” is gorgeous. While “BMO” opted to experiment somewhat with the classic Adventure Time art style, trading cel shading for an almost watercolor feel, “Obsidian” echoes the aesthetic of the original series. That said, there’s an undeniable animation bump—likely courtesy of that sweet, sweet HBO money—that lets Ooo and its denizens shine in all their glory. You can tell that Adam Muto, art director Sandra Lee, supervising director Miki Brewster, and all the members of the production staff really went above and beyond the call of duty. The episode's soundtrack, composed by Amanda Jones, as deserves a shout-out. Jones did an excellent job mixing the chiptune style of the original series with a bass-heavy rock sound that highlights Marceline’s starring role. Bravo!

As another production aside, I should point out that CN/HBO’s decision to make these specials each 44 minutes was the right call. The 11 minute format of the original series often left something to be desired when it came to plot development, as many an important episode was forced to end somewhat prematurely due to time constraints; conversely, the 8-episode miniseries format that the show experimented with during its latter days sometimes felt like too much time (Stakes, Islands, and Elements all had whole episodes that felt like nothing more than the show treading water). The length of “Obsidian”, however, was just right, giving us plenty of time to take in what was happening without ever feeling like it was dragging.

A final aspect of this episode that is worth mention is its many call-backs to previous episodes and characters. “BMO” was mostly a self-contained story that, due to its nature as a prequel in space, really couldn’t reference the Land of Ooo without feeling forced. “Obsidian,” however, throws in everything and the kitchen sink (Adventure Time superfan and all-around cool person Jagm has collected most of them here for those of you who want to see everything laid out nicely). Stand-outs for me include Choose Goose (someone who we really haven’t seen since season five) smuggling sketchy products into the Candy Kingdom, post-Ice King Simon trying his hand at open mic nights, Bronwyn as an adventurous hero, and Finn the (Adult!) Human complete with beard and scars! Of note, Jake does not appear in this episode, except as a tattoo on Finn’s chest. Many in the fandom are now speculating that the events of “Obsidian” take place after our beloved shapeshifting dog’s death. Oh say it ain’t so! Perhaps we’ll learn more in “Together Again.”

Mushroom War Evidence: Unlike “BMO,” which directly referenced the Mushroom War and its fallout (both literally and figuratively), this episode returned to the show’s roots by featuring gobs of explicit hints in throw-away lines or elaborate background pieces. Honestly, there is far too many to list here in a pithy paragraph, but some major references include: the reveal that the Glass Kingdom, like the Fire Kingdom, was created by ‘magic’ blaze from the heavens (almost certainly a nuke); the fact that Marceline and her mother wandered for a time in the debris-filled wastelands following the apocalypse; and the reveal that Marceline spent at least part of her childhood holed up in a bomb shelter surrounded by the bones of myriad dead humans. Honestly, while references to the Mushroom War have always been sad footnotes to an otherwise cheery show; in this episode, however, the references are very graphic, illustrating the sorrow and horror of mutagenic war.

Final Grade: As I said earlier, I’m a Marcy fanboy, so I’m horrible biased, but I don’t care. This episode rocked. Q.E.D.

[hachidementa]

FRIENDS - AMPHIBIA (MARCANNE )post- canon

At night, I only think if they forget about me and we will stop being friends. That will forget me and will only be a bad experience in their life, the memory of a bad friend who almost made them lose everything, someone extremely selfish. So well it is true I regretted my past mistakes and was forgiven by my friends, but ... I still have that fear that it will happen again, that selfishness will consume me and lead me to do horrible and desperate things like I did. previously.

* present * (3 years later!) "It was already the last day of class, literally after today we would all have vacations ... It was perfect we would have all this time to be all 3 together ..." the Asian said to herself as she watched her friends from afar, friends. which were talking to a couple of boys "I had forgotten!"

Marcy forgot that the inevitable had arrived, "Sasha had begun to notice the boys ... in our school, who personally were very boring and they were all the same ..., that Sasha would be seeing some of them. them ?! On the contrary, she was very pretty, attractive and with a good physique, she was not too smart but guys don't want a nerd like their girlfriend, or that's what I think ... "Damn I'm a nerd!" "On the other hand, Anne was not interested in having a romantic relationship, but she was always very friendly with everyone, that's so cute" "I LOVE IT!" I love how she takes a little time for the three of us to be together, it's too considerate of her because she knows I hate being alone ... "

They were eating at a restaurant near their house, talking about how they would spend their summer vacations.

The blonde had something in mind, but she would not dare to say anything, it was not yet something appropriate for us to say.

afternoon)

As Anne and Sasha talked, Marcy couldn't stop looking and stroking her opponent's silky curly hair, Anne's hair was silky and cute despite everything that had happened before.

"Marcy? Hey hi? Are you okay?" The brunette said to her opponent when she saw that she seemed to be lost in her thoughts.

The Asian girl reacted immediately when she saw that she was lost in the conversation "yes, I'm sorry"

"Well girls, I have something to tell you because it is something important: - ^" said the blonde with a tone of joy

"What is Sash?" Said the brunette to the blonde with one of her eyebrows raised

"Well, I started dating someone, like 2 weeks ago and ... I plan on weighing the holidays with him and well, I didn't know if it would bother them, so if so I can cancer him and -" "No! Sash that's great, you just go and have a good time with that boy, me and marcy will be fine * said the brunette with the usual attitude, putting others before her.

"Wow, really what are you saying Mar Mar? Asked the blonde to the Asian woman before creating a misunderstanding" Yes, it's okay I'm sure that Anne and I will find something to amuse ourselves "said the Asian girl with a slightly forced smile.

The inevitable had arrived ...

"Well, then it's just you and me Mar mar ..." said the brunette * yes just you and me ... "said the Asian girl as she lowered her head to see her plate of food, which was almost empty." mmm, what if we go to the Mar Mar Park, if you know how to clear the mind "said Anne as she stood up from her seat and grabbed the Asian girl from her hands and lifted her.

"What do you say?" The brunette asked one last time. "Sure Anne" answered the Asian girl with a cute smile on her face.

As they walked Anne looked at Marcy admiring her beautiful eyes, which were fixed on a new game.

"We are here Mar mar" he said to the brunette thinking that his companion would not have noticed.

"yeah" Marcy said as she headed to one of the swings.

The two friends were increasingly swinging on the swings, those swings brought back so much memories ... They met there, while Anne and Marcy were swinging it seemed that time went back to those times when only the 2 knew each other, when Marcy met he lost in his own world and Anne had to show him in the real world, so that he would not get lost, those times when they were only 2 innocent girls.

"No lies, no manipulation, no ...-"

"What are you saying Marcy?" Said the brunette looking at her opposite, who seemed to not know that she was speaking loudly. "Ah? What? Nothing! I was just saying ... isn't the sky pretty?" the Asian trying to hide it. But it was too late, the brunette already knew what was happening with her opponent, it was obvious she had known her for most of her life, she knew the things that bothered her.

"I know something happened sea sea tell me" left the brunette looking with a smile at her friend. "Anne, it's okay, I'm fine-" "Marcy, what did I tell you about lying to me ...?" Said the brunette recalling what happened previously. "Yes Anne but this time it's nothing" said the Asian lying to her opposite, suddenly the brunette stood up angrily from the swing she was sitting on. "Marcy Wu, you are one of my best friends and I will not bear you lying to me!" She said very angry, her opponent just looks at her about to burst into tears, her friend had yelled at her,! Arcy hated that people yelled at her like that, drying her tears Marcy stood up too and just hugged her opponent. "Anne, If you calm down, I'll tell you, please ", the brunette calmed down, however they hadn't stopped hugging, so all of Marcy whispered in her ear." I'm afraid, I'm afraid that you and Sasha will forget me .. . "said the Asian, while the brunette giggled and said" but of course not Marcy, don't you see the 3 we are always together and- "the Asian interrupted" yes but it will not always be like that and you will get married you will have a family and you will forget me! " "Yes, you are right I will have a family but you forget that friends are the family we choose so we will not separate" said the brunette as she went to hug the Asian and later whisper in her ear "Never forget this Marcy, I will never forget from you, he promised "

[fookinfandoms]

This is Us P8 | Joel Miller

Part 8 of my Joel fic!

Warnings: Language and mentions of violence.

Part Seven | Part Eight | Part Nine 

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She was lost.

Jackson looked the same at night. It was dimly lit with only a few street lamps, and a large majority of people had already retired for the night. Evie knew she was a few blocks away from the meeting hall, but with every house looking the same she didn’t want to risk knocking on the wrong door.

The snow didn’t help, and Evie cursed herself for not taking the weather into account as she realised the landmarks she focused on during her tour had been covered. She was slacking already, and she hadn’t even been in Jackson for a day. Her arms wound around her in an attempt to keep warm, her denim jacket only providing minimal relief from the snow falling around her.

Why did everything have to look the same?

She was still angry from the conversation earlier. It wasn’t Maria nor Tommy’s fault, but what kind of questions were those? Killing was the way of life now and like she had said to Seth before, if you hadn’t killed somebody in this world, you were either a liar or coward. It wasn’t a pretty thing nor something she insisted everybody try, but any adult that criticised another persons suffering, well they weren’t in Evie’s good books.

“Why did you give Tommy your gun,” She mumbled to herself, walking further into the streets. “Fucking idiot.”

“Thought you were supposed to be a tracker?” A voice calls out from behind her, and Evie turns around, shock evident in her features.

Joel stands there amused, hands in his pockets. As quick as it appeared though, Evie’s shock is gone and replaced with a frown.

“Can’t track a fucking house now can I?” She turns around again, continuing her journey. “Dumb ass.”

Joel chuckles, jogging forward to catch up to the woman. Evie had more to say to him but focused on her walking, she didn't exactly fancy falling over flat on her ass in front of the man. He walks by her side, ignoring the disgruntled look she threw his way. “You lost your way?”

“We friends now?” Evie cuts straight to the chase. “Not even an hour ago you were ready to throw me on my ass, now you’re followin’ after me?”

She had a point, and even Joel himself was confused over his actions. He tries to blame it on just looking after his baby brother, but he knew that would be a lie. Evelyn reminded him of himself, and it worried him. He knew adjusting to life behind large walls wasn’t easy, and the first week, let alone day, was difficult. He knew too that Evie wasn't staying, but that didn't mean he couldn't get as much information out of her as he could before she left.

“Just makin’ sure you’re not out here shootin’ somebody.” He jokes, partially, and Evie just scoffs.

“How can I? I gave my gun to your brother, which,” She holds a finger out, wiggling it at the older man. “I’d like back by the way.”

He had forgotten that she had given away her firearm, but if she was as smart as he assumed, he knew she would have a blade or two hiding beneath her clothes. She continues walking, and considering she had walked past her street, Joel knew she was definitely lost. He chose not say something just yet however, wanting more time to ask the girl the questions he couldn’t ask in front of his brother.

"They're stupid questions," Joel says, thinking back to the meeting just before. "But they gotta' ask."

"I know, doesn't mean I have to like it though." She replies, sighing to herself.

Joel of all people probably had the same amount of bodies on him as her, and Evie assumed that he had only been let into Jackson because of Tommy and the fact he had Ellie. He had his reputation in Boston for a reason, and she wonders just how much the community knew about the older Miller as he walked the streets. 

He was a survivor no doubt, but even Evie knew he had done somethings that were unforgivable. Nobody got this far in life without getting dirty.

“What you were sayin’ about Marcy back there,” Joel asks, keeping his gaze forward. “Did she suffer?”

Evie stops in her tracks, her feet slowly sinking into the snow. She thinks over his words with a blank expression, and Joel almost regrets asking. A part of him felt that he had a right to know, seeing that Marceline was the closest person in Tess’ life even before they had parted ways.

“I can’t say.” Evie bites her lip, and Joel is about to protest her answer when she exhales, a cloud of air coming out with the cold. “We were neck deep in water and she got dragged under.”

“And the husband?”

“Dived in after her, I waited on the roof of some van but neither resurfaced,” She looks around her surroundings as she recalls the memory. “I couldn’t stay so I waited at our spot for a few days, but they didn’t show.”

“Where’d you go after that?” Evie was shocked at all the questions, and was shocked more at herself for not feeling any resentment towards Joel. The man must have had a close relationship with Tess to remember as much as he did about Marcy.

“Headed straight to Boston like planned, I was going to find Tess to break the news,” Evie kicks at the snow piling on her shoes. “Felt she had a right to know.”

How noble, Joel thought to himself. It was a rare trait, somebody putting their life on the line for another. Evelyn had already proved herself to be a decent person by the way she had saved and looked after Tommy. If Joel had let himself not be blinded by anger towards the ghost part of the woman in front of him, he would’ve commented on it sooner.

Joel just nods, not really knowing what to say. As far as he could remember, Marceline was a good kid, and it just made him curse at the world.

“How did Tess die?” She asks, and Joel immediately tenses, wondering how he could answer without bringing Ellie into it.

Seeing his reaction, Evie raises her hands in defence. “You don’t have to tell me, I can tell she meant a lot to you.”

It was clear though that the loss of Marcy and Louis weighed heavy on Evie too, and Joel felt it was only fair seeing as he made Evie return to that memory.

“Infected,” Joel forces out, and Evie closes her eyes at the news. “By the sounds of it, not too long after her sister.” Evie nods, knowing he was right. When she had arrived in Boston, nobody had heard from a Tess, and Joel was nowhere to be found. 

She assumed they all had a job, but now after knowing Tess was actually Joel’s partner, she must have gotten infected whilst they were together.

“What a world we live in huh?” Evie jokes before starting walking again. “A whole family, just like that.”

“Just like that.” Joel echoes, following after her.

The two walk in a comfortable silence before Joel realises he hadn’t told Evie where she should be walking. He was surprised she hadn’t, but if she were as stubborn as Tommy had mentioned, he knew she wouldn’t say anything. He takes the lead, hoping she would appreciate the gesture rather than try embarrass herself further. Evie takes notice of her surroundings, seeing houses with children’s play equipment at the front.

“They really got it somethin’ good going here, don’t they?” She remarks, smiling to herself as Joel nods. “It’s… Nice.”

She had more to say, but she didn’t want to give Joel the wrong idea. Her mind was made up, and as much as Jackson seemed to be the real deal, it was better for everybody if she left. She wasn’t a community type of person, and it seemed that some people of Jackson had already figured that out for themselves.

 As much as the idea of having a safe place to sleep at night intrigued her, Evie had spent far too much time in places that didn't survive. Communities like Jackson never lasted, and they were a big hotspot for hunters and bandits. They attracted the wrong kinds of people, and she didn't want to involve herself in a fight that wasn't hers.

She hadn't made it this far in life by being stupid.

Tommy had his people to worry about first, not some stranger he picked up from outside. Or more so, picked him up from outside and dragged him home. She hoped he would understand that after her bags were filled, she would be out and on the road before he or anybody of Jackson were awake. She was a professional at leaving before sun up, and she chuckled to herself as she thinks about the men she had left behind after a night together.

Joel looks back at the woman as she laughs, and raises his eyebrow, wondering what she was thinking about. He thought back todays events, thankful that the woman hadn’t yet brought up what he had walked in on, especially in front of his brother.

Tommy would never let him live it down.

He was embarrassed. Joel was a grown man who had acted like a teenage boy who had just gotten his first porno mag. He had never acted that way before, and he blamed it on the fact it had been so long since he had seen a woman in her next to nothings. His ears turned red again at the memory, and he hoped Evie wouldn’t notice or better yet, blame it on the cold.

“So why the change?” Evie asked, catching up to Joel’s pace.

He gives her a confused look before realising what she meant. How could he answer that? All of her questions revolved around Ellie one way or another, and he had to protect his girl. His mouth opens to speak, but no words come out.

“Hey, again you don’t gotta’ say,” She nudges him in the stomach. “Just passing the time.”

Joel is taken back by her actions, and his hand comes out of his pocket as he rubs at the spot she elbowed. She was strong, and in more ways than one. “Ellie.” He mumbles, and Evie just smiles.

“Had a feeling, she’s a good kid, real bright,” Evie chuckles as she remembers her deep and meaningful conversation with the teen. “Swears like a soldier though.”

Joel chuckles before he stops, head tilting at the woman. “How would you know she swears a lot?”

Evie puckers her lips as she realises she’s caught out, smiling sheepishly at the Texan. “She may or may not have come over after you left today.”Joel just stands there in disbelief, mad that Ellie deliberately went against his wishes. “I locked the door.”

“Girl knows how to climb, do I blame you for that?” She chuckles once more, knowing the girl had climbed through the top floor.

“And what did you two talk about?” He knew Ellie wouldn’t bring up her immunity, she was a smart girl, but it didn’t stop him from worrying about who she chose to open up too.

Her arm was bandaged up, and Tommy had the idea of telling people that her bite was a chemical burn. Maria had done her part in telling people that it was a burn from a childhood injury, and Joel was more than grateful.

“Just girl stuff,” She grins at him as his frown deepens. “Infected, guts galore, the usual.”

“I hope you’re jokin’.” Joel looks down at Evie as she shrugs, smiling a little as she does so.

“Like I said old man, girl stuff, none of your concern.” Evie skips ahead quickly to avoid Joel as he rolls his eyes.

He wasn’t too concerned now at the idea of Ellie being near the newcomer, but that didn’t mean he trusted Evelyn. At the end of the day, he didn’t know her and as grateful as he was that she had saved Tommy, she was a stranger.

“Old man?” He quips, raising his eyebrow. “You’re how old?”

“Younger than you and that’s all that matters.” She turns around, giving him a mock salute before turning around again.

He rolls his eyes at her. “You always got somethin’ funny to say?”

“Only when people say dumb shit, that a problem for you?”

“No ma’am.” She was quick, and it made him release a deep chuckle this time, a proper one. People weren’t usually this vocal nor as witty, and Joel find it more refreshing than annoying.

 He’ll admit he found it irritating that morning, but seeing as this was actually her personality and not some front she put on, it no longer bothered him.

If the scars on her body had been any indication, she had been through a lot and came out on top. If humour was her coping, than so be it. Evie had soon recognised the street that her borrowed house resided on, remembering the broken mailbox that lay out the front. It had a name on it that was incredibly faded, and she fought the urge to ask who the house had belonged to before.

Evie thought Joel would leave her by the driveway, but surprised her as he continued walking her to the porch, lagging behind a little to give her space. She didn’t comment on it, and as she pulled out the key Tommy had given her earlier, she turned to the man that stood on the porch steps.

“I uh,” She cleared her throat. “I just want to say that as much as I’m not sorry for taking jobs away from you, I’m sorry for being an inconvenience.”

Joel just nodded at her, accepting her somewhat-apology. Apologies were clearly not apart of her vocabulary, and Joel knew this was as good as it was going to get.

“It kept me alive and I’ll never apologise for that, but I am sorry about Tess and whatever role I played in it but taking your shit.”

“Wasn’t your fault,” Joel pointed out. “That had nothin’ to do with you.”

Evie relaxed a little at the knowledge, having felt guilty at the news. She mumbled a small okay before opening the door, stepping one foot indoors. Joel bid her a goodnight, she waved him off as she went inside.

Joel had already made his way past the driveway when he heard the door open again, and he turned around when he heard Evelyn call out his name. He stares at the woman as she stands at the door, her head poked out from the small opening.

“You good?” He yells out, and she just smirks at him.

What the hell is this girl on? Joel thinks to himself, but his cheeks heat up at the following words.

“Next time you want to peep on a girl when she’s naked, give her a heads up yeah?” She calls out, and Joel instantly looks around, hoping nobody was around to hear. His throat feels like its closed up as Evie laughs, embarrassment being an understatement.

“Maybe next time she’ll let you stay.” Evie yells again, continuing to laugh even after she’s shut the door, leaving Joel standing there with an egg on his face as she walks up the stairs.

The man just shakes his head, feeling heat everywhere. He kicks at the snow before making his way back to his house, chuckling at the girls words as the ring through his ear.

[heyyyharry]

My Girl Series: Chapter 9 - Bambi

…in which the little girl next door isn’t so little anymore.

Series description: Y/N falls in love with the older boy next door who doesn’t feel the same, years later they meet again at a funeral.

AU: actor!harry, older!harry, younger!y/n; (4-year age gap)

Chapter 8: Without The Love - Harry wants what he shouldn’t, and now he cannot leave.

Warning: smut (yes guys, finally), and also mistakes because my eyesight got blurry after going through 7k words lmao.

wattpad link

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"But boys don't like little girls."

"That's not true. I'm a boy and I like you."

"You do?!"

"Of course I do. You're my girl."

With a faint smile, fifteen-year-old Harry headed back to his front porch. He thought about the look on Y/N's face when he called her his girl, oh how happy she must've felt, and that made him feel special too. As the boy sat back down with his study group, his eyes still followed the girl until she was finally out of sight.

"Are you dating an eleven-year-old?" The fat kid named Brian said, pulling Harry's attention back to the skeptical stares everyone in the circle was giving him. They all cracked up at that one question, causing the poor boy to shift uncomfortably in his spot.

"She's just my neighbor," he said, but nobody seemed convinced.

"I think she has a crush on you," said the pretty blonde sitting right in front of him. When she pressed her lips into a smile, Harry swore that his heart might've just skipped a beat.

Her name was Kathy — the most beautiful girl in school. Earlier that year, there had been rumors going around that she secretly liked Harry a lot, but she hadn't found the courage to ask him out yet. And frankly, who wouldn't want to receive attention from such a beautiful girl? So when she assumed that his little friend might have a crush on him, he couldn't let her believe that was true, not even for a second.

"I think she only sees me as her big brother," he reassured Kathy.

Another smile formed on her lips as she combed her fingers through her golden locks.

"Trust me, I know when a girl likes a boy," she said, batting her eyelashes at Harry, who could only hope it wasn't obvious how red he had become.

"Dude," another kid spoke up, gaining everyone's attention at once, but he was only talking to Harry. "That kid was so excited to tell you about her first period. Talk about being obsessive! I can see her hanging your photos everywhere in her bedroom."

Everyone burst out laughing at what that boy had just said, everyone including his crush. So even though Harry didn't find any humor in the mean joke, he cracked a nervous grin. He felt so guilty afterwards though; if his Bambi had been there and they had said those words to her face, he might've reacted differently. But she wasn't there, Kathy was, leaving him no other choice but to play along.

When Harry looked up and met Kathy's blue eyes, she gave him a shrug as if to tell him to just ignore his friends. But how could he when they were all laughing at him? For a teenage boy, having a good reputation mattered a lot; and without a doubt, having a lot of friends was more important than having a real one. So those simple words the other kids had said caused him to overthink for the rest of the day. And from that day, the way he saw his little neighbor had also changed.

All of a sudden, he felt like it was inappropriate for a fifteen-year-old to spend that much time with an eleven-year-old. First off, people would make fun of him. Second, girls like Kathy would assume he wasn't mature enough for them. It was such a shame that both of those reasons were about him, and not Y/N. He didn't bother to think about how it would make her feel when he decided to keep his distance with her.

At that point, Harry didn't know how much he would regret it later on.

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Checking his watch for the third time or so, Harry leaned back against the car, sighing as he looked up. He tried to find the window on the fifth floor that was Y/N's bedroom only to see if her light was on. It showed just how impatient he was getting. Fifteen minutes more and he began to fear that she might've forgotten about their "date" to the musical. So he decided to send a quick text to make sure she remembered. It didn't take more than a second for the word seen to appear and three dots to pop up in the chat box.

⌲ Bambi: The show starts at 9. It's only 7PM now?

Shit. He thought to himself and quickly opened the photo of the tickets she'd sent. She was right. He was too excited to see her that he thought the show started one hour earlier. Embarrassed, Harry quickly wrote her another text.

⌲ Sorry. But I'm here anyway so can I come up?

⌲ Bambi: Wait. I'll be right down with you.

⌲ Bambi: Btw, park your car somewhere. We'll walk.

Y/N suggested that they go for a drink first and then to the theater. He hadn't seen her so excited in a long time, she talked and laughed a lot. It wasn't her everyday personality but he thought he liked that side of her, he liked it a lot.

They walked side by side, two meters apart, him having both hands in his pockets and her with her arms folded to hold onto herself. Those defensive gestures might keep them from running into each other's embrace, yet it didn't stop their thoughts from wandering way too far from reality. He took a glance at her and turned away as she did the same. They had been walking for five minutes without exchanging a single word, and the silence had become way too suffocating.

"Why is this street so dark?" Harry finally spoke as he looked around and realized there was no one else but the two of them. The moon was nowhere to be seen, and the only source of light there was a dim streetlamp which went on and off every second.

Harry had checked the weather forecast before leaving his house and it said there was a 70% chance of rain that night. No wonder the stars in the sky were nonexistent, same as the moon, they were all hidden under thick blankets of dark clouds.

Not answering Harry's question, Y/N walked fast forward, taking a turn into an alley as she nodded her head, giving him signal to hurry along. She told him they couldn't take the direct route to the bar because it would be suicidal to walk down the street together at London's most busy hour. When they went out for dinner with her father and Marcy, they had tried to be as lowkey as they could've, but somehow still ran into his fans. This time, they had to be even more secretive, though it was admittedly tiring to literally hide in the dark.

"Do you always walk that far when you're out with a girl?" Y/N pointed out, making Harry realize he was keeping a considerable distance from her.

"Yeah, well, I don't even hold hands on a date unless it's for PR."

"Sucks to be you." She laughed. But he agreed. It sucked to be him sometimes.

In silence, Harry followed the girl as they walked along the rough cobbled road that caused his feet to ache. The abandoned blocks on both sides were tight together and loomed over the pair, creating an illusion that the alleyway was longer and more narrow than it actually was. The sounds of their footsteps ricochetted from one wall to the other, somehow causing his heart to beat in sync with his steady paces.

In the half light of the alley, his Bambi appeared so small. To answer the question in his head, she broke the silence, "I don't usually take this route when I go out alone at night."

"Good." He breathed out a heavy chuckle, feeling relieved. "I meant to ask."

They carried on walking, taking a few more turns. All those narrow streets looked almost the same, all dark and grey, causing Harry to think if Y/N had left him there to walk back on his own, he would've spent the rest of his life searching for the way out.

"We're almost there," she assured him.

Soon he noticed the yellow beams of the only lamppost ahead, and Y/N sighed in relief as she pointed to the metal door at the end of the road, saying that was the back entrance of the bar. She walked in without hesitation, pulling Harry along, so he assumed she had been there plenty of times before.

The place was hundreds of conversations told in loud voices, all mixed up with the loud rock song blasting on the speaker which nobody really paid attention to. Y/N made her way through the sweaty bodies, making sure her fingers stayed locked around Harry's wrist as they headed straight towards the counter to order some drinks.

"Andrew!"

"Little girl!" The big fat bartender laughed loudly when he spotted her face in the crowd. "I can hardly recognize you when you're sober."

Y/N rolled her eyes as she huffed and pulled a chair to sit down, telling Harry to do the same. It took the actor a moment to figure out why Andrew and everything there looked so familiar. That was the same bar he'd come to pick her up when she was shit-faced on that counter and threw up all over his shoes. He opened his mouth to speak, yet was interrupted by the loud bearded man.

"Glad to see you two back together again," said the man while looking at Harry. "The last time you broke up, she literally turned my bar into her second home."

"But we never dated."

"Don't fool me, little girl." Andrew scoffed, pointing a finger at Y/N. "If your pretty boyfriend hadn't come save your ass, I would've tossed you out on the street that night."

Harry and Y/N exchanged funny looks in silence. Instead of trying to explain, they just let Andrew believe what he wanted to believe and ordered a pint of beer for each.

Most of the people at that bar were blue-collar workers and middle-aged men who'd had too much to drink to remember who they were, let alone recognize movie star Harry Styles sitting just a few feet away from them. For the first time in the longest time, Harry finally felt like he was invisible and he actually loved the feeling of it. It seemed like Y/N was the only one there who knew him, and he felt free to drink as much as he liked and laughed as hard as he wanted. They sat and talked about life, his movies, her job at the library, and many other things that mattered to them. Then it was finally 8:30, they paid for the drinks and said goodbye to Andrew so as to get to the show on time.

Once again, the pair took the same dark route they had before, but this time instead of walking far apart, she had her arm around his waist and his on her shoulders. They were singing random songs out loud, knowing the only creatures they might disturb on that abandoned street were the rats and cockroaches in the sewers. But their ignorance didn't get to last for too long. As they took the final turn to get back to the main street, Harry immediately spotted a familiar face.

Under the lamppost stood a man, tall and slim, with a cigarette between his lips. He was too busy talking on the phone with someone to notice them. So Harry grabbed Y/N by the arms and pulled her back into the dark alleyway. She intended to ask when he pressed her against the wall, but with a finger to his lips, he signaled her to stay silent. Slowly, he poked his head out to check on the stranger, making Y/N frown in confusion.

"That man out there works for an online magazine that write gossip about celebrities," he whispered, now turning back to her, one hand resting on the wall by her head, the other on her neck. "Maybe we should wait a bit for him to leave. Can't let him see us together."

Y/N pressed her lips into a firm line, nodding her head to let him know she got it. She fought him a lot, so it was nice to see her listen to him even just for once. And she looked too cute for him to feel unfortunate that they got stuck in that situation.

For a moment, he got lost in the hues of her eyes. He told himself to stay calm, still couldn't fight the urge to caress her lips with his thumb. He thought about chewing on them if she would just let him kiss her. But knowing her, he didn't have much hope for getting a taste of those lips anytime soon.

Just as a drop of crystal-clear water appeared on his skin, Harry quickly lifted both hands above Y/N's head to shield her from the raindrops coming down. She gave him a smile, as if the thought of a rain excited her as it used to when she was a child. He watched her beam grow, unable to stop one from forming upon his face. However, the drops became heavier really soon. Harry poked his head out of the alleyway once again, but the annoying reporter was still standing there because he was safe with the roof above his head. Harry sighed in frustration, but Y/N only giggled. The sound of her laugh eased his mind as he stepped closer, almost sandwiching her between his body and the brick wall so the rain couldn't drench all of her, at least not as much as it was doing to him.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, their faces so close that even with the sound thunder, he could still hear her breath get caught in her throat. Y/N cupped his face, wiping the wet strands out of his forehead. Her eyelids flutter as she stared at the droplets running down his pink lips.

"Why are you sorry?" She asked, laughing nervously when her body shivered from the cold. Even though it was pointless at this point to shield her from the downpour, Harry still kept one arm above her head, his other tightened the grip on her waist.

"I ruined our date."

"Our date?"

"Oh, fuck...I mean..." He squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head and laughing lowly. "Shit. Never mind."

Y/N said nothing. The girl couldn't come up with anything to speak so she pulled him in. The water ran down their faces to where their lips collided. Neither seemed to care as they tasted the cold drops against the tips of their tongues. Harry pushed his lips in more firmly, and the intoxicating wave running through him caused his head to spin in circles. There was something so heavenly about a kiss in the rain, a tender yet intense moment that just wouldn't wait. The couple melted into each other, letting the water soak through to chill their skin, like a rebellion act against nature.

The universe could bring the storm, but the sunshine within could come through just as strong.

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When Harry pulled his car over in front of his house, his first instinct was to look up at the highest window next door to check if Y/N had gone to bed yet. It was almost midnight then but he could still see her shadow pacing back and forth inside her room, and so he assumed she must've waited until the last minute to prepare for an exam again.

"What is it?" Spoke the girl sitting in the passenger seat, as she leaned over to see what her date was looking at, and why he was smiling. Harry just straight off told Kathy that it was nothing, and got out to come open the door for her. His mum was already asleep, so he asked Kathy to be quiet as he took her hand and led her into his house. The teenagers headed straight to the backyard, where they could be alone and didn't have to worry about waking up Anne.

Turning on the fairy lights on the porch, Harry set up two chairs looking out to the garden, and asked his date to sit down with him. But that wasn't what Kathy had in mind. Her attention was on something else. With a smile she pointed to the big tree standing right by the fence, and asked him, "is that your treehouse?"

"Yeah. My dad built it," he answered.

Harry almost included 'before he left', but he didn't think Kathy was ready to hear about his family drama when it was just their first date.

"Let's go up there."

"Go up there?" Harry widened his eyes at her suggestion, yet the girl already seemed so excited.

"Yeah. I wanna see your treehouse." She giggled and leaned in to study his facial expression, probably wondering why he seemed so unsure. "Do you have secrets that you don't want me to know?" Kathy joked, laughing slightly, but Harry only shook his head as a response. "Or am I not special enough?"

"You are, you are special," he said fast, laughing nervously.

Without a doubt, he liked Kathy very much. He would be insane if he didn't, because she was the definition of perfect. She was beautiful, and sweet, and smart, like the main girl in those romantic movies he'd watched and books he'd read. And to have someone popular and pretty like her as a girlfriend was certainly a dream come true. However, nobody else had entered that treehouse but him and Y/N. It wasn't just his treehouse, it was theirs. So even though Y/N was studying in her room and wouldn't be able to see him bring Kathy to their fort, he felt guilty about it still.

"I'm too exhausted to climb all the way up there," he lied. But Kathy just breathed out a laugh and took his wrist as she told him he was just lazy.

"Come on, Harry. Let's go," she urged him, pulling the boy with her before he could come up with another way to say no. And Harry didn't make an effort to stop her then. He let her get on the robe ladder first and followed right after to make sure she didn't fall. When they finally got up there, he switched on the lightbulb and stepped aside for his date to enter the world that was initially just his and Y/N's.

"Wow, 'do not enter'. Trying to be badass, huh?" Kathy giggled as she read the messy handwriting on the door. Little did she know, it wasn't Harry's.

The girl took a look around the tiny space, observing every little corner that belonged to her date's childhood, everything that used to matter a lot, or still mattered to him. It didn't take her too long to spot four simple words carved onto the back entrance.

"Y/N and Harry only?" She squinted her eyes, and turned to give Harry a questioning look. "Is Y/N that little girl who lives next door to you?"

"Yup." He shrugged, shoving both hands into his pants pockets. "This used to be our treehouse."

Used to. Harry couldn't believe he'd said that. If Y/N was there, she would be so upset, and the thought of it made him feel terrible.

"Our?" Kathy playfully stuck out her bottom lip, pouting as she said, "so I'm not the first girl you brought here?"

"She's just a kid." He chuckled, shaking his head, and the smile soon returned to Kathy's face. Slowly, she walked up to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and Harry felt his heart racing faster as his arms finally tightened around her small waist. Their foreheads rested against each other; and he let himself get carried away by the deep blue of her eyes.

"Sit. I have something for you." He sat down on the floor, pulling her down with him and reached out to grab the dusty guitar he'd left in the corner for too long. The last time he picked it up was when his Bambi asked him to play her a song. Of course he didn't mention it to Kathy, so the girl assumed she was the first and only girl he'd ever sung to.

The sad truth was, she wasn't even his first love, or even his love. She was just a girl he had a crush on at seventeen, the age at which not everyone could tell the difference between love and physical attraction. Harry and Kathy had their first kiss that night in the treehouse, but a few months later, they called it off because their feelings just weren't the same anymore. After the breakup, they never spoke to each other again, and it didn't take Harry too long to erase most memories he had with her.

But somehow, he couldn't do the same to the little girl he had abandoned.

.

.

.

The rain came in waves, splattering across the pavement and beating down on every hard surface. Soon the entire city had been hidden by silver sheets of water. As pedestrians dashed for cover, the hiss of car tires on glistening roads was competing with the wild howling of the wind. The scene was pure madness. But right there, in Harry's car, was the opposite of what was happening outside in the pouring rain.

He kissed her and the world fell away. Their heavy breaths had fogged up all the windows, obscuring the movements of two soaked body in the backseat of the steamy vehicle. She was sitting on his lap, grinding against the hard bulge under his wet jeans, earning a heavy groan that got stuck in his throat when he tossed his head back. His fingers pressed hard onto the exposed skin above the waistband of her tennis skirt.

"That man took too long to leave," she moaned into his mouth, hands hiking up his shirt as she was desperate for some skin contact. The thin fabric of her panties didn't really do its job because he could feel her heat burning through all those layers and knew she wasn't just dripping from the rain. It was killing him to not tear off her clothes and take her right there. He desperately wanted to, he knew she wanted him to. His mind tried to reason with him that once they'd had sex, they could never go back. But now she was moaning his name non-stop as he was sucking on her neck, it was impossible for them to stop at this point.

"We can't...not here." His breath hitched up as he clung to her hips, trying to push her away, but she grasped his neck harder, forcing him to open his eyes and look into hers. The look she was giving him could melt him into the puddle that had already formed on the leather seat because of their drenched clothes.

"Want you now," she begged, hot mouth sucking the spot right below his ear, causing him to moan out, and the sound to Y/N was just like a ballad made from heaven.

"Bambi-" She cut him off by kissing his lips. He kissed back, both hands moving to her neck and hair.

"Want you to fuck me," she whispered, pouting like a little girl, but now he knew she wasn't one anymore. "Don't you want that? To fuck me?"

"I do, fuck, I do." Harry loved and hated her dirty mouth at the same time, but he still managed to use a fraction of self-control he'd got left to reason with her, as well as himself.

"Just...don't want our first time to...god...to be like this. Not here." He tossed his head back when she kissed his jawline, neck, and collarbone. "Let's get you home." He shook his head, one arm squeezing her torso, but she only kissed him harder, leaving him breathless. "Baby, be good."

Y/N's lips curved into a smile as she heard that nickname. That was the first time he'd ever called her "baby" and she almost begged him to never stop repeating that word.

"Shh." She brought her finger up to his lips and kissed them again, before pulling away a bit so she wouldn't forget to breathe. "Don't worry about me. I've done this before."

"Fuck. No need to remind me that." He released a rough groan when she bit his earlobe, trying not to think about all the other men who had felt what he was feeling then. Their breathing then became rough and fast as she tugged on his shirt, and finally pulling it over his head to do the same to her sweater. She didn't have her bra on, so Harry's eyes nearly fell out when he saw her bare chest for the first time.

There was a vulnerability in Y/N's eyes as she felt him gazing at her naked form. With that look on his face, it almost felt like Harry had just seen a woman's breasts for the first time in his life, so she couldn't help but giggle lowly. His eyes didn't linger too long there, just enough for her to know how beautiful she was to him. She was literally trembling when she took his hand and placed it on one breast. He squeezed it gently, feeling the softness of her skin which was turning warm under his palm. One hand at the back of his neck, she urged his face down. Soon he opened his mouth and gently suckled, causing his name to spill out from her mouth, mixing up with wet moans that got his jeans tightened even more.

She was his drug. All it took was one touch and the intoxication was instant. Her scent became more prominent in the tiny space of his backseat and the fragranced hot air got all the blood in his body rushing to one body part.

Before they knew how it happened, they were both naked and their bodies were moving softly together as if they were one. Their tongues entwined in a sloppy kiss when he was finally inside, changing her breathing with every hard thrust as if her moans fueled him to go harder and deeper.

"No...don't...Bambi, look at me." He held her face to demand eye contact, not slowing down as she begged him not to. She struggled to keep her eyes open but never gave into the temptation to get carried away all at once. He watched her face twist with pleasure as his lips parted, hands guiding her hip to move her faster ontop of him.

"Feels good."

"Yea—Yeah? " He furrowed his brows as she did the same, clutching his hair a bit tighter.

"More." She moaned, nodding fast, not to look anywhere else but his green eyes.

"Such a good girl for me. Almost there, baby. C'mon," he coaxed her, capturing her mouth with his own and she caught him by surprise by nipping his bottom lip between her teeth. He was weak for her, entirely defeated under her. If she wanted him to beg, he would, as long as she promised to never stop until they both came undone.

When it happened, Y/N almost forgot how to breathe. She slammed one hand against the foggy window on her side, arching her back when he pounded into her. She couldn't care less if her scream could break the glass as she tossed her head back and dug her nails into his back. Harry released into the condom just a few seconds after her as he finally slowed down and kissed her hard on the lips. The stayed there, panting until they caught our breaths, sweaty foreheads against one another.

It was insane how they managed to get back to her flat, let alone strip each other down again once they had entered the living room. This time, he took her hard against her bedroom wall, still in their dripping clothes, too aroused to care or even make it to the bed. After the third orgasm that followed right after her second, Harry had to catch Y/N's limb body before she collapsed and carried her to the shower. They just stood there leaning onto each other for support, her head on his chest as he washed her hair, letting the warm water run down their flushed skin to wash the rain water, sweat, and the smell of sex all down the drain.

It wasn't until they had returned to the bedroom and began drying off that realization sank back in for both. They just stood there, staring at one another in silent. Harry had only a towel wrapped around his waist now that his clothes were all wet. And Y/N was wearing just a t-shirt big and long enough to look like a dress on her. The feeling was strange, yet new, and exciting.

It was Y/N who took the first steps forward, closing the distance between them two to hug him tight. Without saying a word, he did the same, sniffing in the apple scent of her still soaked hair.

"Stay the night," she said at last. And he happily nodded, squeezing her warm body tight.

.

.

.

Harry had been pacing back and forth for nearly a minute before he finally gained enough courage to ring on his neighbor's doorbell. The boy blew air through his mouth, hollowing up his cheeks as he heard footsteps coming his way. And when the door opened, it wasn't the fourteen-year-old he was there to see, it was her mother. Tam Y/L/N greeted the boy next door with a casual, yet heart-warming smile.

"Harry, look how grown you are! I haven't seen you around in so long," she said. He already knew that it'd been a while since he last came here, but to hear it from someone else made him feel worse somehow. "I heard you got the scholarship that you wanted. Your mother must be so proud."

"Thank you, Mrs. Y/L/N...Is Y/N home?"

"Yeah, she's upstairs. Want me to call her for you?"

"No." He stopped her just as she turned away. "Uhm...I'm leaving tomorrow. I think I should let her know. Can you tell her that for me?"

"Sweetie..." The corners of Tam's lips sank into a frown. "She doesn't even know about the scholarship."

Right. Of course she didn't know. The last time they talked was a year ago when she asked him to take her to that concert but he refused. He couldn't believe it had been that long. They had been two strangers for a year now, so to see her again and tell her he was gonna leave Holmes Chapel and wasn't sure when and if he was ever coming back would make him seem like a jerk. So even though Harry's initial intention when he rang the doorbell was to talk to her in person, but now the thought of it scared him a lot. Harry stood there, stuttering in front of her mother, trying to come up with an excuse so she would help him out by breaking this news to Y/N.

But the woman spoke before he could, "Harry, you know her. If she hears this from me she'll assume she doesn't matter to you." Then came a pause. "Do you care about her?"

He didn't answer that inquiry. But he didn't have to.

"Then I think you should tell her yourself. She really misses you," Tam said, giving the eighteen-year-old boy another smile.

She was right. Even though he had been keeping distance with Y/N for that long, he couldn't walk away knowing she would hate him and think she didn't mean anything to him. After all, she was still the girl he'd got into a fight for and risked getting sick as he walked in the rain to keep her safe. Even if his head told him she didn't matter, his heart knew she did.

After a moment, he finally nodded, and Tam didn't hesitate to turn her head and shouted upstairs,"Y/N, Harry is here to see you!"

"Wait," he spoke after a second thought. "Can you...can you tell her to meet me at our treehouse?"

"Sure, love," the woman said without asking why.

Harry thanked her and walked away quickly before Y/N came down and saw his face. He needed time to think about how to break the news without breaking her heart, and maybe his own.

It had been so long since he last visited their treehouse, and it was quite embarrassing how he had to struggle at first because he'd forgotten how to climb. He sat there on the floor like the night they first met, but this time he was nervous because he knew she was coming.

Harry turned his head as soon as he heard Y/N's voice at the entrance. He got up from the dusty wooden floor, smiling at the girl. Her eyes were still as bright as he remembered. He'd never told her, but all the emotions she was trying to hide always showed through her big eyes and gave away what she was actually feeling. But this time, it was hope that he saw in them. And he knew the goodbye was gonna be twice as hard as how he'd imagined it would be.

They sat down side by side on the edge of their little house with bare feet dangling in the air, listening to the cricket singing their summer song. He knew he was going to miss this, he was going to miss Holmes Chapel, and mostly he was going to miss her. Y/N seemed pretty quiet that night, so Harry had to initiate a conversation, asking her about school, about Celine, about her parent's constant fights. He also filled her in with most of the things that had happened to her in the past year, and kept her updated on his sister and his mum.

But eventually, he must say what he was there to say, "I'm leaving tomorrow morning. To London."

From the way her body stiffened as she heard those words, Harry had expected a different reaction from his little neighbor. However, she only laughed and asked him if he was joking. He wished it had been a joke, then it wouldn't have killed him to say it out loud. He told her about the scholarship, about being accepted into his dream school, and now he could finally follow his dream to become a famous actor. But she was quiet the whole time. He didn't know what she was thinking, he never did.

"I'll come back and visit you next summer," he said, not even sure if he could stay true to those words. But at least they would ease her mind. "I wanted to see you one last time before I left...Bambi, say something."

His Bambi turned to look at him with glistening eyes, and he silently begged her not to dissolve into tears because he wouldn't know what to do. But knowing Y/N, he was sure that she wouldn't allow herself to cry in front of him now that he was basically just a familiar stranger.

"I'm really happy for you, H," she said at last, putting on a smile. So he smiled back at her, reaching out to tuck a strand behind her ear. He told her to be strong when he wasn't around, and take care of herself, though she'd been doing just fine without him in the past year. And deep down, he hoped she would find a boy who wouldn't mind getting a black eye to make her happy. He couldn't be that boy, not anymore.

"This treehouse is all yours now," he told her. "Please look after it?"

"I will," she gave him her words. From the determination written on her face, he knew she would keep her promise, and somehow that made him happy. Maybe because he knew she didn't hated him like he assumed she would.

It was getting late, and he had to catch a train before sunrise. So Harry said his last goodbye to his little neighbor, telling her that they both should get some rest. But instead of letting him go, she cut him off just as he tried to say something else. "Harry...Can I ask you for one last favor?"

"Anything, kid. Tell me."

"Can you...Uhm...Will you..." She exhaled deeply and took his hand in hers. "Will you be my first kiss?"

The grin slowly faded from his face when he realized she was actually serious. "I don't think I should be your first kiss, Bambi. You should save it for the boy you like."

"But you...are the boy I like."

Harry was surprised to hear those words, yet not really. A part of him had always known she'd had a crush on him, but he assumed it would just disappear into thin air real soon. But after a year of acting like they didn't know each other, how could she still call him the boy she liked?

He wanted to lighten up the mood without hurting her feelings, yet he struggled to come up with what to say. But Y/N was impatient as always. She couldn't wait for a reply, probably because she knew she would never get one. So she just followed her instinct and cupped his face to bring her lips to his, only to pull away a second later. It was barely what one would call a kiss, but Harry was in shock and he couldn't even flinch. A fourteen-year-old had just kissed him on the lips. How could he possibly react in this situation? So he chose not to react.

He just sat there and watched her run back to the rope ladder. And the next moment she was gone, for good this time. He didn't think too much about the kiss even though it did put him in shock. But maybe it was for the best if her last memory of him was their moment on the treehouse and not him leaving her without saying goodbye. At least now he knew she wouldn't hate him forever.

She had been a big part of his childhood, and would always be a part of him. So as Harry watched her run back to her house, he truly hoped if they never met again, she would keep him in her memory if not in her heart.

For him, he would also do the same.

.

.

.

Harry woke up in the middle of the night, reaching for the warm body lying next to him, only to find the bed cold and empty. In an instant, he became frantic, thinking Y/N had gone. But it took him a second to calm down and remember he was at her place, not his. The girl hadn't even left the bed. She was just sitting up, holding her knees to her chest and staring at the window. She stayed very still when he crawled to her side.

"Bambi?" His voice was dreadfully quiet. "Are you...Why are you crying, love?" The left side of his chest ached when he saw a tear running down from the corner of her eyes. Slowly she turned to look at him, her lips trembled and her shoulders heaved with emotion when he pulled her to his chest.

"Is it because of me?" He sadly questioned, assuming it must be him. Maybe he shouldn't have been too rough when they had sex, maybe she regretted sleeping with him, maybe she was gonna tell him to leave and never see her again. His whole body tensed up in fear thinking all of those maybes could be true. But eventually, she shook her head no.

"I forgot my cup of tea," she whispered.

That answer left him confused. "Your cup of tea?"

Y/N nodded, staying utterly lifeless in his arms. "It keeps me from having nightmares."

"Is that why you always drink tea before bed?"

"Hmm," she hummed and buried her face into his chest, inhaling his cent as if to remind herself that she'd still got him. After a moment of silence and ragged breathing, she told him, "I saw my mum. She was standing right by a car. But before I could get to her, the car exploded, and all that was left was fire and smoke and the sound of my own screams..."

"Shh." He stroked her hair, pressing butterfly kisses to her forehead. It was then that he realized she was clinging to the locket he'd given her, somehow it put him at ease knowing his birthday gift could lend her some kind of emotional support when she felt afraid. "Want me to make you a cup of tea, love?"

"No. Just...don't let me go."

"Alright."

Harry laid her back down, this time with her back to his chest. When they clasped each other in a warm hug, Y/N could finally be calm enough to listen to the sound of the gentle night rain outside, feeling his chest rising and falling against her back, their breaths in unison.

For a second, Harry wished they could share their hearts as easily as sharing their body heat. He couldn't remember the last time he let another get close to him like this, but Y/N was special; though at the same time, being with her felt like carrying a time bomb. One wrong move and he was a goner, yet every time she tried to leave, it was him who convinced her to stay.

"I'll go to the wedding with you." Her voice pierced right through the silence of the room, causing his eyes to fly open. Y/N thought he didn't hear her, so she repeated the sentence once more, adding, "if your offer still stands."

"It does." He chuckled hoarsely. "What changed your mind though?"

"Thought I should stop running away from reality." That was her answer, nothing more. He didn't really get what she actually meant, but he didn't think she wanted him to ask, so he decided to let it go.

"When are you gonna leave?" She asked.

"Not tonight. I'm staying tonight."

Harry wasn't sure if when she said "leave", she meant him leaving her flat before she woke up, or him leaving her for good. But it didn't really matter. That answer would do for both meanings. Because no matter what happened to them in the future, he knew it wasn't gonna end tonight.

"Good," Y/N murmured with a tiny sigh, making Harry chuckle. His eyes gradually slipped closed, and a few minutes later, he went limp.

[marciestokes]

❄ · · · MARISSA “MARCIE” STOKES  has been in Ellingham for 8 years and they look exactly like AISHA DEE. Having turned 26 years old on their last birthday, they are currently a PHOTOGRAPHER  and ARE HAPPY WITH THAT. Known as the CHAMELEON, it’s no secret that they're AFFABLE & CREATIVE, but also SECRETIVE & RESERVED. If you’re to meet them, please remember that they are a CIS WOMAN and use SHE/HER. {  PAIGE + 24 + SHE/HER + CST }

tw: death mention

0-16

Marcie came as a slightly late Christmas present to a mother with dreams for a girl who would reach beyond the stars. A laughing, smiling little girl who wanted for nothing and gave little fuss. She played her part well; sitting through lessons in piano, voice and cello on top of dance for years. There was no complaining allowed, no going outside of what was planned out for her. Hard work was rewarded greatly but always always expected… On the occasion that Marcie was allowed to actually be herself, or even act like a regular kid, she found herself feeling more rambunctious, loud, and overall a sarcastic shit. But after one of her friends mother’s had a conversation with her own, that was quick to die out. She learned how to make people see a certain side of her, how to change like a chameleon changes their skin.

Marcie’s  father was a man with habits that required a good poker face, a lot of white lies and a “grass is always greener…” attitude. Family felt like a trap and it was the one thing she agreed with the man on. Family began to feel like a restriction of self, high expectations and mostly feeling as though there was no real escape. A person can’t help but feel restless when things aren’t ‘right’. The kicker for her, though, was nothing ever felt ‘right’. She was always striving to find her place, her worth, somewhere to actually call hers.

She floated from friend group to friend group, hanging just on the outside of everything to be seen as someone who was kind and caring but never enough for people to find out who she really was.

16.5-21

for a very long while, marcie felt nothing but anger at her situation. after her mothers death her father decided to take the two of them back to his hometown. the one he had sworn he never wanted to see again. she managed to keep the facade going, pretending to be the perfect kid. finished school, went to the college in town, found people to be around enough to call friends.  then at the drop of a dime, she exploded. the world caved in on her, the world was no longer perfect. she’d blown up on her dad; blaming him for her mother’s accident. blaming him for why she wasn’t able to feel settled into the world. marcie dropped out of school, deciding that she really didn’t want to waste money when she didn’t know what she wanted from  life. she had begun to distance herself in fear of taking any emotions she had out on the people around her. she isolated herself, no longer able to keep up the front that she was just this sweet polite girl. at 21 she stopped talking to her father all together.

22-NOW

it had lasted three years, she would see him in town and would walk the other direction. her father was someone she would see all of her faults in, someone who reminded her of the person her mother tried to mold her into. and at times she was still the girl who had  impeccable manners, that was gentle and well spoken. essentially the embodiment of “sit still look pretty”. Basically, you couldn’t tell the difference between her and a nice vase of daisies. This was the version of herself that she wanted to bury but it came out when she met new people, people who had only seen that side of her and especially when she visits her father now.  slowly however she began to settle into the person she wanted to be. inside she felt as though she should be  bigger than life, to be the person to go dancing in the rain, to have awful pop music blasting throughout the house, laugh at everything and then nothing,  to have tears in her eyes from feeling too much, daydreaming about running away or at least going on a country wide road trip. This was the version of herself that she wanted to bring to the light and she worked hard at expressing it. 

photography sort of fell into her lap. after she gave up on college, she became a nanny. she had loved working one on one with kids but didnt want to really keep with schooling so it worked out perfectly. one day the family she worked for gifted her their old digital camera to test out. she found a calling. since the age of 24 she has been building up her business and has been working on getting a studio space.

Connection Ideas:

Romance: FWB? secret affair? unrequited crush/love? slow burn? Who knows! (i typically like seeing how chemistry works for romantic connections– but i don’t mind plotting stuff out either!)  

Volunteer Pals: every two weeks marcie does volunteer activities through an organization, your muse could be a part of that organization and that’s how they met or could just be a friend wanting to keep her company and get some extra volunteer hours in too.  

Brunch dates: these two have found themselves grabbing brunch one or two times a month to catch up. busy lives means they don’t have much time for constant communication, but they refuse to let the other fall to the wayside. could there be more effort put into their relationship? what were they before life got hectic? 

Close friends: Confidants? Reckless Adventures? sipping wine and sharing memes til all hours of the night? sharing every fault and fear and joke? 

Muse: Someone who Marcie always goes to when they need to shoot, someone she can’t get enough photos of. 

Hard feelings: there’s a couple ways to take this. marcie could have done something that rubbed your muse the wrong way; your muse could have done something that left marcie with a bitter taste in their mouth, or it could just have been a huge misunderstanding. there can be a huge mistrust just from association. can be from just meeting, acquaintances, or even good friends.

[spongeguyandlelouchvibridankia]

Amphibia Christmas Gift

@kaminos-hangout-corner

Snow.

 It had been 1 whole year (sort of, she was still trying to understand just how much time had passed) since she had gone to Amphibia .

 Since she had made her first real friend.

 Since she found a family.

 And…

 Anne Boonchuy, decked out in a frog themed Christmas sweater, tapping her foot nervously, was unsure if the first person she should come out to was her beloved and endearingly over protective Hop Poppy.

 But considering her… Let’s say it nicely, shit parents, it seemed like he was really the only choice.

 Sighing, she glanced out the window again.

 Snow had once been a danger, due to its once a year appearance in Amphibia. Snow forced the frogs into hibernation and near death (thank GOODNESS for interior heating!).

 Anne had protected them from it once. And while it was touch and go (the small business of Polly nearly dying), she had succeeded!

 In fact, Anne Boonchuy was very different from the girl she was when she first stumbled onto the magical other dimension.

 What once was selfish was now thoughtful.

 What once was subservient was now independent.

 What once was impulsive was… Well, actually, that sort of stayed.

 And what was once straight as a rail in her mind was so gay it made Elsa look straight!

 So why was it so hard to tell him about this?

 “…Anne, you’ve been sitting there for about 5 minutes narrating. Just tell me the problem so I can return to making angsty AMV’s of “Suspicion Island”!”

 Anne couldn’t help but chuckle at that statement, and at the frog who sat before her.

 His thin grey tufts of hair were now covered with a Santa hat (whom he was still wary of. “Breaking and entering is nothing to be proud of, unless of course you’re doing it to Monroe”), his cane was colored like a candy cane (Anne could have sworn she heard a drum snare from Marcy’s room) and his sweater was appropriately ugly, asking people to “honk if you’ve adopted a bby recently”.

 For a once so rigid and traditional frog, Hop Pop Plantar had truly given his best efforts to the transition to the human world.

 In fact, as Anne shuffled her feet and sighed, he had done more than anyone would have expected.

 After a disastrous dinner revealed that Anne’s parents were… Shit, Hop Pop had gone on a 8 hour long rant, dissing them so inappropriately that Polly hadn’t needed Anne to learn all the swear words in existence.

 If it wasn’t for Sprig ripping the chained pen off because it looked “Yummy”, Anne would have been adopted way faster.

 It was flashbacks like these that made Anne wonder how could she possibly think he wouldn’t accept her.

 After all they’ve been through, Hop Pop truly loved her.

 Which meant…

 Anne took a deep breath and stood up, deciding to face it head on.

 “I’ve got a bit of a… Hard confession to make.”

 Anne then smiled softly as Hop Pop seemed to take on a knowing look.

 “But I know that you’ll accept me for who I am, and I shouldn’t be afraid.”

 “Oh, you should! Grime has been walking around the house decking anyone who plays “Frosty The Snowman”. Says that little bastard “should have melted the moment he knew about thermomaters, even though he really shouldn’t know”.”

 Anne giggled and Hop Pop smiled warmly. “But seriously, Anne… You can tell me anything.”

 Anne beamed at this and Hop Pop remembered why he was still alive as she began to explain.

 “Well… You see, Hop Pop, ol’ buddy ol’ pal… Have you ever felt like you want to kiss someone, but society thinks it’s wrong?”

 “Why, all the time! I keep telling them that Cacti are softer than they seem but no one listens!”, Hop Pop said, removing a cactus and kissing it.

 “Oh wait, never mind. My tongue wants to die now.”

 Anne shook her head, laughing. “No, dummy! I mean… Say there’s 2 someone’s you like…”

 Anne’s mouth suddenly got very dry. She wasn’t sure she could do this.

 Even if Hop Pop was open… Who was to say that Sasha “GOD THAT SCAR MAKES HER HOTTER” Prince and Marcy “HOW CAN SOMEONE SO SARCASTIC BE SO MOE” Drosselmeyer would be interested in something so… Bizarre?

 Anne was starting to panic again. She wasn’t some badass warrior or hilarious kawaii girl (well, she was, but she doesn’t listen to me).

 She was just Anne “I can make  a decent omlette” Boonchouy.

 Sure, she helped destroy an ancient monster and she helped make peace between frogs and toads, but anyone could have done that!

 Why would Sasha and Marcy want… Her?

 Nerves at their limits, Anne decided to go for a distraction.

 “HEY HOP POP!”, she suddenly called out, mad look in her eyes. “WANNA FIND OUT HOW MANY JELLYFISH I CAN JUGGLE?”

 As she began to juggle and yelp from the pain, Hop Pop tried to stop her with logic. “ANNE! Only Polly can do that!”

 Meanwhile…

 “I don’t understand this stupid human holiday! First we watch some ridiculous children’s cartoons, then we take a tree and force it to get dressed, and now you’re telling me that you need to make some sort of “like, earth shattering” confession? I thought this “Christmas” was fun!”

 Formerly Captain now Dad Grime was very confused by the day he had been through. He’d had to endure many odd customs, and outside of drinking dangerous amounts of Egg Nog (what was IN that stuff?!), he had not seen any reason to be jolly or merry.

 Why, he hadn’t had a chance to be senselessly violent in hours!

 And now his beloved daughter Sasha had some sort of confession to make.

 “Great. Now I get to know where all my strawberry lip gloss has been going.”, he grumbled as Sasha stood next to a screen.

 Clearing her throat, the former soldier seemed less confident than usual.

 Giant anime sweat bead, feet shuffling cards, shaking more than the jell-o he DEFINITELY didn’t steal for himself…

 She was hiding something.

 He could feel it.

 That, and she had said “I’ve been hiding something” just 38 seconds ago, so…

 SCORE!

 “Get on with it, Sasha!”, Grime ordered, impatient. “I’ve got other things to do, like go back and complain about having to do all these things!”

 Sasha laughed nervously and picked up a remote. “Well, Grimesy, in order to properly explain my confession, I have arranged a powerpoint presentation…”

 Even on Amphibia, people knew that powerpoint was sad.

 Grime moaned and leaned into his hand, depressed. This was going to be worse than the time he almost died.

 “Just finish with it, before the alcohol receads and I get enough sense to leave the room.”

 Sasha gulped again, very nervous of her frog father’s reaction. While he too adopted her from terrible parents, he was less affectionate, more of a fun dad who took you to bear baiting matches and taught you how to survive torture.

 You know, fun things all children should know!

 The emotional stuff? He was less qualified.

 Why, once she told him she was feeling sad and he said to just beat it senseless until it stopped working.

 And when she had homework she couldn’t figure out, he actually spared with the words.

 And when she was having a period…

 Well, the less said about the “boxing match with god” the better.

 So, this was going to be a piece of fucking cake, right?

 Sasha continued to hyperventilate as Grime read the title, which was accompanied with an audio book version read by Samuel L. Jackson.

 “Shit, I CAN Haz Girlfriends?: The Day I Never Stopped Worrying And Learned That Women Are Hotter Than Men!”

 Sasha face palmed. “I REALLY need to get a better editor.”

 “Come on, Darling! That title is marvelous and so much better than “AAAAAAAAAAAAA HOW DO I EXPLAIN THAT ME AM GAY?!”, Sprig, with spectacles, turned around and commented.

 Meanwhile…

 “So I’m gay for Sasha and Anne and I want to date both of them. Is that weird?”, Marcy asked, while playing a snare drum for Anne’s unintentional candy cane pun.

 “Oh, it’s totally normal! Give them a whirl, girl!”, Valerina said, not phased for a moment.

 “Great! Can we T-Pose now and headbang to “Megalovania”?”, Marcy asked, setting up her boom box.

 “That’s why I adopted you!”

 Marcy and Valerina then started to aggressively T-Pose and headbang.

 “I hope this conversation is easy for Anne and Sasha, who clearly have the hots for me!”, Marcy said as she danced.

    “Anne, I can’t believe that of all things, you were hurt by tripping on a box of wiener dogs!”

 Hop Pop was applying another Hello Kitty band aid as Anne sighed morosely.

 “I’m sorry, Hop Pop! I just… I… I’m very nervous!”

 Hop Pop sighed affectionately and patted his girl’s back. “Anne, my darling… I’d NEVER judge you. And even if I did, I would be in the wrong for that.”

 Hop Pop smiled as he made a promise with his eyes. “Whatever you have to say is who you are. If your friends or your family can’t accept that, then, well, they’re pretty darn lousy at their jobs, I reckon!”

 Anne shed a tear while smiling, her real father as ever making her feel valid. Real.

 Once she was so afraid of expressing her true self.

 Now, she felt like she could sing it out loud.

 Not that she would; Musical theatre was a pale imitation of vaudeville, according to Hop Pop.

 Taking a deep breath, Anne confessed her secret.

 “Hop Pop… I tried to understand this for a while, and for a while I wasn’t sure if it was true, but…”

 “I know that you have the crushy crush on Sasha at least, that’s for sure.”, Hop Pop commented, scratching his chin.

 Anne’s eyes were now very buggy. “HOW IN TARNATION DO YOU KNOW THAT?”

 Hop Pop was too busy thinking something else. “I’ve never said tarnation, where’d you pick that up?”

 “Doesn’t matter! How do you know that I like Sasha?”, Anne asked in disbelief. What had given her away?

 “Anne, you’d need to be blind not to know! Also, you once forced me to marry you and your Sasha cardboard cutout in a lavish ceremony.”

 Anne blushed wildly. “I do crazy things when I drink too much cocoa…”

 Hop Pop chuckled warmly and observed Anne with sparkling eyes. “Well? I assume there’s a part 2…”

 Anne laughed as well and admitted that “Marcy’s pretty fine too!”

 Anne then got shy again. “I know that it’s customary to only like one person, but I really li…Lo…”

 Anne swallowed her spit and resolved herself.

 “I REALLY love both of them.”

 Anne sighed again. “I know it’s weird, but it’s who I am.”

 She looked up, scared again. “Do you… Do you see me any different?”

 There are moments in life where one has to prove to one’s kids just how much he/she loves them.

 In that moment, Hop Pop aced so hard no one would ever get close.

 “Do you know what I see, Anne?”, he asked, and as she shook her head, he sat next to her.

 “What I see is a beautiful, smart, strong, brave, independent young woman with a kind heart and a lovely soul.”

 He continued. “I see an amazing friend and an incredible daughter.”

 He nearly choked up for a moment. “I see someone who has grown so much, but hasn’t lost that innate goodness that was there from day 1.”

 He then embraced her. “You know what I see?”

 He whispered. “I see someone I am PROUD to call my daughter.”

 He retracted from the hug to wipe away her tears. “And if these two girls make you happy, then, well, I see no problem in you getting together with them.”

 Anne, who was feeling all the feels, gripped her Hop Poppy and said “Oh THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!”

 “Of course, Anne. Of course.”

 Anne hiccupped for a moment and softly smiled. “I… I… Thank you for letting me be me.”

 She kissed his forehead and as she ran off, she called out “Love you, Dad!”

 Hop Pop shook his head softly as she left. “Kids…”

     Meanwhile meanwhile (revenge of the meanwhile)…

 “And that’s is why I want to kiss two girls under the mistletoe today, so you better understand, motherfucker, before I stick my hand up your ass and make it talk like a puppet to give me validity!”

 As the powerpoint finally skidded to a halt, Sasha wished that she could erase all the bar graphs and pie charts on how “lit” lesbian OT3’s were.

 In fact, Sasha had cringed really hard for the entire presentation, and as she finally opened her eyes and laid them on a very quiet Grime, who had uncharacteristically said nothing the entire time.

 Sasha was getting REALLY nervous now. What was going to happen?

 Would Grime get angry? Would he fire her from being his daughter?

 Would…

 Would he hate her?

 Sasha already knew that Grime wasn’t exactly the softest and most understanding person in the world.

 So what would he be like with this?

 Tentatively, her fingers shaking, Sasha asked a cautious question.

 “Well… What do you think, Grimesy?”

 Grime scratched his chin in thought, before turning to Sasha with an odd expression.

 “Let me see if I understand: You love that Anne girl, and that Marcy girl?”

 Sasha nodded, depressed.

 Grime chose his words carefully. “All right… If I may ask…”

 He tilted his head. “Why are you asking me if it’s ok?”

 Sasha blinked, surprised. “I… Uh… Huh?”

 Grime cleared his throat, hoping to make himself clear to Sasha. “I may not understand human customs, but I don’t think that loving someone is wrong, at least, under certain conditions.”

 He attempted a soft smile as he grabbed hold of her hand. “The way I see it, if it’s not illegal, it’s ok. And, well… I may seem like a real grouch, but when it comes to you, all I need is a smile, soldier, and I’m in approval.”

 Sasha never liked showing such strong emotions, least of all next to Grime, but she couldn’t help but squeeze him once he finished.

 “Ok, ok…”, he said, but his enjoyment of the hug was obvious.

 Patting her back, he saluted her. “Report me of your success once the conquest is over!”

 She saluted back, grinning. “Aye-Aye, Dad!”

 None noticed that that was the first time Sasha had called him dad, but Grime would later feel his heart grow 3 sizes once he realized what she had said.

        Later that evening, Anne, Sasha and Marcy found themselves underneath the mistletoe, all a little confused and VERY flustered.

 “So… We all had the same idea and crushes?”, Sasha asked, very embarrassed. Pink was not a color frequently seen on her cheeks, but today it was dominant.

 “I guess so.”, Anne said, feeling very shy. Was all her worrying really for nothing?

 “Cool cool cool cool. When do I get to be gay?”, Marcy asked, wearing a rainbow hoodie over a shirt that said “Go to the YMCA? I AM THE YMCA!” and shoes that played “Girls Like Girls” by Hayley Kiyoko.

 Anne, Sasha and Marcy all looked at each other, and realized that sometimes, all the worrying really IS for nothing.

 Here they all were, very much in love with each other and willing to take the next step.

 So…

 Why not just do it?

 For Anne Boonchuy, Christmas had once been most magical when she opened her presents under the tree.

 But this year, it was when she kissed her two girlfriends at the same time.

     Finishing the story, SpongeGuy looked at his words and hoped they were enough.

 As ever, the lesson he tried to impart had a harder time reaching him.

 The words stood on the screen, daunting.

 Teasing.

 Were they enough for such an angel?

 Were they enough for such a blessing?

 Stepping into the room, SpongeGuy could see his sister/brother/BroSis Kamino sleep peacefully in a bed. An adorable beanie sat on the cute short hair cut and her eyes, despite being closed, sparkled with wonder, that made him want to be so excited.

 Hands shook as he clutched the manuscript and wondered again: Was it good enough?

 She had given him so much in so little time.

 Had he deserved any of it?

 Could he ever justify his existence?

 Floating in from another room was a frequent visitor.

 Cold hands sent a shiver down SpongeGuy’s spine and he didn’t need to turn to know it was the reaper.

 “You seem awfully ready to go. I haven’t sensed such resignation in a while from you.”

 SpongeGuy tried to say something but the words stuck in his throat.

 “…You haven’t even come close to succeeding in your mission. Are you ready to call it quits? It’s not like you ever deserved to succeed.”

 But SpongeGuy shakes his head. “Maybe I don’t deserve it…”

 He put down the manuscript next to Kamino’s head.

 “But they do. Every single one of them needs a hero.”

 SpongeGuy turns defiantly. “If it means fighting for years without a smile, then I will do so.”

 “…What makes you so sure that you’ll ever be happy?”

 SpongeGuy turns and sees a miracle in front of him.

 “…Just a hunch.”

[homestuckhiveswap]

Land of Fans and Music: the Homestuck fanmusic scene

by /u/DrewLinky, previous article here.

Introduction

Homestuck, operating as a multimedia webcomic, utilizes many different forms of media over the course of the story. Music is an enormous element of what makes the webcomic enjoyable, for many people even being one of the main attractions of the entire story. As I’ve written about previously, Homestuck even had its own Music Team dedicated to creating works that could be incorporated into the comic.

Alongside this, however, there is a burgeoning fan music community. Innumerable people who were either too late or otherwise unable to get onto the Music Team proper were undeterred, sharing their musical creations with one another on the forums...

Their works were more often than not hosted on the website tindeck, and it was so heavily used for this purpose that the website eventually included “homestuck” as its own category. A quick glance shows that, at the time of writing at least, there are still people who upload their own Homestuck music projects there—quite the dedication.

There was one such person back on the forums named OJ who was involved in this process: for some time they were happy enough to share their music directly with others in lieu of getting on the Music Team, but after a while they conceived of the idea of compiling all of the fan music thus far into an album of their own. People would be allowed to nominate themselves and others, assuming the authors of the work in question could be contacted and were okay with being included. It was in this ad hoc manner that the Land of Fans and Music album was born.

I was given the opportunity to speak with two massively influential figures involved with the Land of Fans and Music group, or LOFAM, over the course of the last several years. Ndividedbyzero (more commonly known as Cait) and Lambda have both seen and done a lot to help LOFAM along in its several year history, and they were so helpful as to sit down with me and laboriously explain the project, and the various elements involved with its development.

Cait and Lambda themselves warrant some description. I’ve already written about them at length individually, but together they’re another story entirely. Throughout the entirety of our conversation, they would unabashedly begin talking about completely unrelated things ranging from the mundane to the spectacularly weird. In one breath they could go from describing the complicated interpersonal politics of musical development to the nature of blue raspberry flavoring and back again, not to mention the insertion of some rather shocking types of pornography at various points (this latter behavior being solely attributable to Lambda).

The exchanges between Cait and Lambda themselves were actually fairly interesting to watch—they play off of each other well and together were extremely helpful in piecing together the history of LOFAM, especially the later parts that they were directly involved in. They weren’t actually involved in the organization of the first album, but they were no less informative on the subject.

LOFAM1 - Beginnings

This first album, also known as LOFAM1, was a different experience from its successors. OJ was the main person who organized it, alongside a prominent Homestuck musician from the team named Solatrus. It was organized openly, with participants posting their songs and album art directly in the forum thread dedicated to the project.

For some time, the main page dedicated to unofficial MSPA music was Homestuck Gaiden, "where a few album projects that weren't greenlighted by hussie went between 2010-2011" (Cait). Most albums there were made by the Music Team or people very close to the team, and then LOFAM1 was included there.

Released in July of 2011 with 53 tracks (giving it the second greatest amount of content in any Homestuck-related album at the time), LOFAM1 introduced a plethora of fanmusicians for the first time. It also became the technical standard in terms of organization and setup: “it set the precedent for basically every fanalbum to come” (Cait). It did suffer its problems but Lambda remarks that the quality of the music submissions overall were pretty good at this point, saying "there was WAAAAY worse [submissions] with the other lofams" that they ended up leaving out, with the other albums to be described later.

LOFAM2 – Stupid o’ Clock and the UMSPAF Bandcamp

Unfortunately, Homestuck Gaiden ended up being shut down sometime after the release of LOFAM1. There is some speculation on why this may have happened, although none of it can be verified: one commonly suggested theory is that Hussie didn’t want fans to think that the albums were official and that he wanted more control over music production, among other reasons. This would make sense: "the music team ended up really really having to emphasize the whole UNOFFICIAL bit" (Cait), and if it proved not to be enough then they would have been asked to stop. Regardless of why, this development mixed up the fan music scene for a while.

Lambda describes that this is about the point where her involvement began. At the very beginning of 2012, there was a community stream celebrating the release of Bowman’s album Ithaca. Lambda began conversing with the people in the stream chat and then later outside of it. At some point she was thusly invited to a group jocularly referred to as the “Stupid ‘o Clock Chat”.

Hosted on Skype, Stupid ‘o Clock (SOC) contained innumerable people. In its greatest incarnation—of which there were many due to Skype’s tendency to crash or fail outright—it held approximately 80-90 people, which was almost certainly part of why it would crash periodically. Many of these people were important names in Homestuck music, but it also held some art people and a smattering of others.

Time passed in SOC, and in April or May of 2012 Lambda asked around if there were any plans to make a LOFAM2—people were still creating content, and OJ had neglected to step up after heading the first project. The vast majority of responses to her questioning indicated that there was interest in creating another album, but there was basically no desire to organize it. It was then that Lambda took it upon herself to do so.

Lambda recruited a person named Liza—who currently heads the official Bowman Discord fanserver—to help, and together they led the organization of LOFAM2. Lambda was fairly young at the time and inexperienced with coordinating such projects. Between this and other influences, the album’s development was fraught with problems: "i think lofam2 ended with like / at least one person saying 'wow, never doing that again'" (Lambda), a sentiment echoed by Liza themselves.

Before LOFAM2’s release, a user named Shadolith—more commonly known as Marcy Nabors and who currently works making sound effects for Hiveswap—was working on a fanalbum called SBURB OST. With Homestuck Gaiden rendered unusable, a new place was needed to host music. Thus, in November of 2012, SBURB OST became the first album to be released on the unofficialmspafans Bandcamp page (graciously shortened into the acronym UMSPAF). At the end of the year LOFAM2 was also released. For unspecified reasons, perhaps general lack of activity due to technical problems, the Stupid ‘o Clock chat was abandoned by the end of 2012.

LOFAM3 – Administrative Delays and the Hiatus

Due to the difficulties of making LOFAM2, making another album seemed unlikely at first. However, this quickly changed: "[making LOFAM3] was only unsure for like 3 or 4 months" (Lambda). Before long, LOFAM3 was being organized. Cait comments: “the head organizer for LOFAM 3 was VeritasUnae, who was a major contributor on Sburb OST, frequented the music thread on the MSPA Forums and worked on the UMSPAF website”. As with LOFAM2, songs were nominated by being posted in the relevant thread on the MSPA forums, or by sending an ask on Tumblr.

Cait had been friends with Lambda, Liza, and others, and herself was around for the creation of LOFAM2, but she claims she didn’t have enough skill to get onto that particular project. Despite this she was still heavily invested in LOFAM2 and was disappointed in the way it turned out: "i was an extremely active follower but not a major player, so i remember being real sad when i heard all the sentiment about drama on the lofam2 end" (Cait). When LOFAM3 started being developed, Lambda asked Cait to be a music judge, meaning she would get to determine which songs got on the album. She says she "was pretty surprised but definitely above all grateful for the opportunity".

Unfortunately, in late 2012 and especially 2013 the webcomic began to suffer in earnest from hiatuses: "homestuck died for 2 years" (Lambda). The decline in updates led to a subsequent decrease in fanworks, and fan music in particular languished considerably. There were very few albums released in the ensuing pauses of the story. Despite this, work on LOFAM3 continued for much of the year, with Cait estimating that there were nearly 100 contributors.

The overall process was smooth but festooned with numerous delays due to the sheer number of people involved. Finally LOFAM3 was released almost exactly one year after LOFAM2 on the 15th of December. Due to the lack of other albums in production at the time, it was a chronologically isolated event. There was a small stream to commemorate the affair, but this only heralded an intense quiet to follow after: for two and a half years, LOFAM3 was the last album to be released by the unofficial MSPA fan group.

Beforus – Decline and Resurgence of the Fan Music Scene

As mentioned earlier, Homestuck’s numerous pauses led to a drastic decrease in fan music production. Most of the so-christened “old guard”, the original members of the fan team, had moved on even before LOFAM3 came out. This trend only worsened over time:

it's hard to get inspiration for fanmusic when the music team itself has resigned to fate / ... / homestuck being on break drastically correlates with breaks in fanmusic production / except after homestuck ended / for some reason (Cait)

In this manner, the fan music scene for all of 2014 and part of 2015 was essentially dead.

At some point in 2014, however, a spreadsheet for LOFAM4 was created. It began relatively small, with a smattering of general concepts and "whatever we pieced together from the ashes" (Cait). At first, progress on developing LOFAM4 was extremely slow. There wasn’t a lot of material to work with and musical creativity was at an all-time low, so naturally LOFAM4 lay dormant for some time (although it was gradually building up steam, according to Cait).

Then in early 2015, a member named Josie began organizing a new fan album conceptualized as “the Beforus project”. Without going into too many details, “Beforus” refers to a portion of Homestuck that is oft-debated as being one of the worst facets of the entire story, so the subject of the album was already of major contention. To make matters worse, there appeared to be no quality control exercised throughout the album’s development, which lead to tracks that were extremely unpleasant to listen to, if not literally painful to the ear.

While many of the songs seem to have missed the mark ("i'm pretty sure like everyone on lofam4 was like ‘yeah, we'd... never let this touch a lofam’", said Lambda), Cait stresses that some of the songs were good or even great. Regardless of how one perceived the album’s overall quality, people who were fans of the subject material ate it up indiscriminately. It signified a new beginning for the fan music scene: scores of fresh artists and musicians were drawn in, and this lead to LOFAM4 being kickstarted into serious production: "in terms of lofam4, it absolutely helped us with contributions" (Cait). From there, the pace only seemed to quicken in leaps and bounds.

LOFAM4 – Conflict, Reconciliation, and Success

Following the release of the Beforus album, there was a significant upswing in activity: "the bottom line is that basically, starting in early-mid 2016, A Lot Of Shit Was Now Happening" (Cait). Not only was the fan music scene picking up, but this all happened to coincide with the release of Homestuck Volume 10 in June of 2016. "this was important specifically because we'd decided long ago that lofam4 shouldn't be released until homestuck volume 10 was" (Cait). Thus, with a significant personal barrier out of the way, speed picked up exponentially.

Some setbacks in the form of real life problems for many members of the team manifested: "this caused a few problems, namely that judging all the songs was a months-long task" (Cait). As soon as they caught up on their workload, more songs would be submitted that made the cycle repeat: "it was clear that some things had to change / luckily, things were changing whether we wanted them to or not" (Cait). This change would come in the form of the Cool and New Music Team (CANMT).

CANMT’s first album, cool and new voulem. 1, was released on the 2nd of July in 2016, serving as a second wind for the fan music scene. Ost, the founder and then-leader of CANMT, was later invited to be a judge for music submissions on LOFAM4 and were extremely active with the work, "which was exactly what we needed" (Cait). Makin was similarly invited to work on LOFAM4 about a month later (although he claims, perhaps appropriately, that he bullied Lambda into letting him on).

The first LOFAM Discord server was created on the 11th of November, 2016 as a replacement for the Skype chat that the group had been using. This switch happened at Makin’s urging, because Skype is generally regarded as an inferior program that people were very eager to drop. With an enormous group project like LOFAM, it was clear that more space was needed to facilitate their work just as organizers, let alone the countless content producers that would eventually be involved. Makin also suggested that switching to Discord would lead to an increase in popularity for LOFAM.

Unfortunately, at this point a rift grew between LOFAM and CANMT where some members of the latter group felt bitter about involving themselves with the former. CANMT had built itself a reputation as a music group with less of an emphasis on sheer quality and more on working with a theme, namely the Cool and New Web Comic (CANWC).

CANWC is a loose retelling of Homestuck in the style of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, which by nature connotes an outward shittiness that has carried itself forward in CANMT’s music. This is all completely appropriate: much of the early music in CANMT consists of bastardized versions of original Homestuck music and is predictably difficult to listen to, which is thematically appropriate. However, as time went by the music became less thoroughly dedicated to shittery and began actually improving. When their seventh album was released, it contained a significant number of songs that were considered of decent enough quality to be put on LOFAM4.

However, there were a select number of people who felt that working with LOFAM was inappropriate:

when canmt started to develop a distinct culture, there was definitely a subgroup who felt either that lofam was the establishment, or that the songs in 2/3 were too boring and canmt was better / so amongst people (i have no idea whether this was common opinion or a vocal minority) there was an idea that submitting to lofam4 would be to give away your True Loyalties (Cait)

This behavior ended up frustrating even the CANMT members who were working as judges for LOFAM, such as Ost.

Despite these naysayers, in 2017 LOFAM4 kept growing in intensity. Further elaboration:

on january 17, 2017, the second LOFAM discord was created, this time to facilitate contributors to the album instead of just the organization team. as makin had deduced, the floodgates opened fast and dozens of potential LOFAM 4 musicians + artists began joining, now under a much more conductive environment for sharing work, receiving feedback and communicating in general than the previous decentralized approach. many of these musicians, as it happened, were from CANMT, which eased the apparent problems between our two groups significantly (Cait)

In this way, the first half of the year saw the rate of development for LOFAM4 rise from already-quick to nothing short of a fever pitch.

Team restructurings happened: with such a dramatic increase in the number of people available for projects, the scale of projects they were willing to pursue increased substantially. LOFAM4 was of course being actively pursued and was wildly hyped up for release, but team members also began work on the Xenoplanetarium album. The music scene in general seemed to escalate in intensity, with another group known as FLSA creating a Problem Sleuth album known as Weird Puzzle Tunes.

FLSA itself is “perhaps best described as a short-lived music collective branching off mainly from the members of CANMT, but others such as myself also joined” (Cait). FLSA was the group that conceptualized Xenoplanetarium, but eventually they realized they were being subsumed into the larger group. In this way, “WPT could be said to be the first album released under the reinvigorated UMSPAF banner” (Cait). For the next several months, things ambled along at a fine pace with some unelaborated-on personal drama (never threatening projects), and a few amusing or exciting projects independent of LOFAM4.

Rather unexpectedly in June of 2017, a new album was uploaded to the bandcamp by Jamie Paige and Marcy Nabors. Entitled 『H☯MESTUCK VAP☯RWAVE 2016 RUH​-​RUH​-​RUH​-​ＲＥＭＩＸ』アンドレア・ヒューシー・グーグル翻訳 (seriously, go look at it yourself), it’s “mostly full of ironically shitty vaporwave remixes of Homestuck tracks by Jamie Paige and Marcy that was first uploaded to Soundcloud in 2016” (Cait). This was followed by another project called Ancestral; headed singularly by a person named Josefin at first, UMSPAF eventually stepped in to help master the album and upload all of the songs to bandcamp.

All of these things were happening quickly, and then suddenly in August a bombshell was dropped: act 1 of Hiveswap would be released on September 14th of 2017, only a month away. “This posed a problem…: LOFAM 4 was… probably going to be released in September, but if it were released after Hiveswap, there was a huge chance of the album getting buried in the hype surrounding the game.” (Cait) Thus, the team officially launched itself into overdrive to try and get the album completed before act 1 was released.

This proved very stressful at times, and it can't be understated that we were working hard; by the final 2 days, I had gotten in about 3 hours of sleep within 48 hours. But the deadline was met. On September 9, 2017, Land of Fans and Music 4, which ended up at a truly unprecedented 105 tracks spanning over 6 and a half hours in total length, was streamed on Twitch, then released… Seeing this many people react to the work that we had all compiled and worked on for years with hype and praise was a vindicating experience, to say the absolute least… A significant chapter in the Homestuck fanmusic community- and oddly enough, my personal life, as well- was over. (Cait)

Naturally, with this momentous occasion now passed, the group began to slow down in its efforts.

Xenoplanetarium – The Current Day

For a while there was some quiet, but eventually the aforementioned Xenoplanetarium album was published in December. “… the smallest in the discography by design” (Cait), it featured only 12 tracks, but was very well received in general. Another, less serious album called Gristmas Carols was put out by Christmas (even smaller at 9 tracks). As of this writing, Gristmas Carols is the last album the UMSPAF group has put out.

Aside from Xenoplanetarium and Gristmas Carols, the peaceful quiet post-LOFAM4 has lasted well into 2018. However, Cait assures me that UMSPAF is hard at work on its next project, labeled “Cosmic Caretakers”. She further describes that everyone is anxious to see it done, as it’s been “in the works for quite a while now”. Whenever it does happen to release, there will undoubtedly be a community stream and a large number of eager fans waiting for them.

Looking back over nearly a decade of community history is no easy feat, and something as richly storied as the LOFAM albums is something else entirely. The fanbase’s reception to these works and the group’s fierce, unmitigated dedication is quite something to behold. A community thrives when its members are creatively engaged and passionate—more than almost any other group I can think of, UMSPAF is exemplary of these qualities. Cait made a remark about the upcoming album, but I feel that it also serves as an excellent summation of LOFAM: “it's shaping up to be quite an experience.”

[kaylewiswrites]

Drunk WIP Week Day 3 - The Forgotten Grave Society

For those of you who haven’t heard me yelling about this for the past three days, I’m shrugging off the burden of trying to look like I know what I’m doing, and introducing my WIPs the way I do when I’m drunk and excited. 

If you like assholes, superpowers, camping, and people who almost get along, check out Day 1. 

If you like slow burn lesbian romances, political intrigue, ragtag groups who come to love each other, and deserts, try Day 2. 

If you like empowered middle school girls who start to see dead people, then congrats, you are, temporally, in the right place. 

The Forgotten Grave Society

Premise:

Today is easy. The world building is like, nothing. 

TFGS takes place in a small town in a small state, where life on the seaside brings in tourists, and also, sometimes, ghosts, apparently. (I am really liking excessive commas today, aren’t I?) The story begins in the small town on the mid-Atlantic on the first full day of summer vacation, in a graveyard that is commonly overlooked. 

Characters:

Marcy: Here’s a girl who looks average, not tall or short, tan or pale, large or small, and has not one single physical feature that makes her stand out. Bank robbery is Marcy’s backup career, since so many people overlook her. But her personality makes up for the middle ground that she exudes: All or nothing. 

She’s either trashing her room, or organizing everything by color. She cooks gourmet meals or rips cold rotisserie chicken straight from the fridge with her hand. To her coaches annoyance, she’s unable to figure out jogging. You can’t just sprint and walk, he tells her. But she doesn’t really get it. 

Marcy spends a lot of time in her own head, and it’s very, very easy for her to miss where the conversations around her are going, while she takes a side path down another road, and by the time she brings up something she founds there, everyone else is miles away. She got laughed at a lot because of this, and now rarely talks with all of her track friends. 

Talents include: running, jumping, getting A’s the three times a year she studies, cooking, and being brutally honest without meaning to be brutal. 

Ava: Ava was born the cutest child you had ever seen. Perfect brown ringlets in her hair, cherubic round face and rosy cheeks, innocent freckles underneath her big round eyes, everyone just adored Ava from the moment they saw her. And then she opened her mouth. 

Ava hates having high expectations held over her head, so she’s learned how to dash them as soon as possible. On the first day of first grade, the teacher called on Ava to introduce herself first, (since she would obviously become the teachers favorite, by the look of her). Ava stood up on her chair and gave a loud, scientific description of how babies were made. She’s been a class clown ever since. 

Known talents are: Causing a scene, making fart noises, disrupting the class. She hides the real ones: sculpting and casting, non-fiction reading, getting under Marcy’s skin (ok, maybe she doesn’t hide that last one)

Ronnie: Everyone knows Veronica is going to become some big engineer or bio-chemist or astrophysicist. Her grandmother was the first black professor at the Marine Biology Department that’s housed in their small town,  so she knows she’s got big shoes to fill. 

But the truth is, Ronnie doesn’t know what she wants to do. She hates that question. You know what she likes? Reading. She likes reading her text books and science theory books, and she likes reading cheesy romances, too. She likes conducting complicated experiments, sure, but she gets just as much pleasure out of the simple steps of her skin-care routine. She relishes in routine and anything she breaks down into small rituals she can. Making a sandwich. Programming a robot. All straightforward if do it one step at a time. 

Talents include: almost anything STEM related, designing inventions, choosing cute outfits, memorizing song lyrics, and coming up with really cool club names.

Plot

Its the first day of summer, and three very different girls from different classrooms and different friend groups somehow find themselves in the same graveyard. 

While there, they realize that a lot of these graves are like, really, really old. People aren’t putting flowers out for them like they do for the new ones. The girls decide to remember those graves for them, and thus the club is born. 

They spend the whole summer hanging out in a graveyard, cleaning stones and making bouquets of definitely-not-stolen-from-people’s-yards flowers. But when it’s time to go back to school, they feel themselves being torn apart by clubs, friends, and work. When they meet in the graveyard again to try to figure out what to do about this, they see a ghost. 

Of course ghost-seeing powers would kick in in September and not June, they think, but discovering the supernatural is real IS a good motivator for spending more time with each other. The Forgotten Grave Society decides to be both about sitting around graves eating snacks on warm summer mornings AND solving ghost problems so they can move onto the next life/afterlife/whatever you believe in (this book takes no assumptions into what happens after the ghosts leave). 

A short snippet is under the cut if you’d like to read! I’m always open to questions, comments, and critiques, so don’t be afraid to give your thoughts. I’m tagging @aomory for this post. If anyone would like to be tagged in more Forgotten Grave Society stuff, let me know! The WIP page is here. 

"Do you think they know?" Ava asks after two weeks of remembering. It's early July, hot and hazy, and humid enough at 9 in the morning that all three are planning on battling tourists to take a dip in the ocean later in the day. They remembered a woman that day, Elizabeth Holson, who died in 1931, and now they're eating lunch in front of her grave. The three girls sit with identical bags of salt and vinegar chips (on sale) and fruit cups filled with syrup. “What’s we’re doing, I mean.”

"You're asking if we believe in life after death," Ronnie responds.

"Well, I guess it's implied," Ava shrugs.

"No." Marcy shoves some chips in her mouth.

"Well, that’s decisive," Ava snorts.

"It seems like a natural, human response to death for me," Marcy states. "Think about it. You see someone die, you realize that one day you will too, and you panic. The idea of nonexistence terrifies people. So they say, no, when you die you go to somewhere better, where you're always young and your whole family is there, or all your stuff is there, or you come back to earth as something else. It's either that or admit that you and everything you know is temporary and unimportant to the world as a whole."

"That's logical, I guess," Ronnie admits. "But I like the idea that something comes next."

"Exactly my point."

"We learn about heaven in Sunday School. I'm going to go ahead and believe in that. It sounds the best."

"In science we learn that matter can't be created or destroyed, only changed. Maybe that happens when we die."

"What do you mean?" Marcy asks. "When, like, a flower dies, it's just gone right? It'll break down into nothing." She gestured at the dead flowers still sitting in front of their first grave. What remains of them are shriveled and dark.

"You're right about it breaking down, but not into nothing. It's releasing carbon dioxide into the air, bugs and larvae and fungi are eating it and turning it into energy the same way we do with food, releasing it as waste, which continues to break down further. All the different parts that made it a living flower are separating back into nature. Remember the Periodic Table? Everything in the universe is made up of those elements, and nothing can ever be added or subtracted."

"So a human body does the same thing. If it's not cremated, it breaks down into it's elements," Ava follows. "What does that have to do with an afterlife?"

"You're body breaks down, but your body isn't the thing that goes to heaven, right?"

"No, it's your soul."

"Exactly. So if nothing can be removed or added from the equation, I think we might be reincarnated."

Ava chews on the tiny plastic spoon that came with her fruit cup. "You're assuming that a soul is made of matter."

"Everything else is."

"But then wouldn't we be able to see it? Feel it?"

"The air around us has mass, but we can't see it, and can usually barely feel it."

"Wouldn't it have to be made of some of your elements?" Marcy asks. "Someone would probably have noticed it by now."

"There could be different molecular constructions that we don't have the technology to detect, a new isotope we haven't thought to look for-" She realizes she’s lost them. "Science is growing every day. Sometimes impossible things are just things that haven't been explained yet."

"You've been thinking about this for a while?" Marcy asks.

"No. Not until Ava just asked."

"This is what we get, making friends with the smart girl," Ava laughs. "So. What's your theory's answer to my question? Do you think these people know what we're doing?"

Ronnie thinks for a moment. "I doubt it. That would imply that they are somehow omniscient about anything that is connected to their past lives. Do you guys have any memories of your old graves?"

"That's a weird thought," Ava shudders. "And no."

Marcy shakes her head.

"Which means that people, or most people, disconnect from their old life when they start a new one. Or it means that my theory is wrong," she chuckles.

"So if you two don't think they know, why are you doing this?"

"I don't think it matters if they know or not," Ronnie says.

"It's like when you do someone a favor,” Marcy says before chugging the syrup from her fruit cup. “If it's important that you take credit for it, then you're not doing it for them. You're doing it for you."  

"Wow. Such kind words from the girl that split open Hannah Bover's lip over a boundary dispute."

"Her foot crossed the line, that shot shouldn't have counted-"

"So you elbowed her in the face?"

"I like doing it," Ronnie cuts in, knowing how long Ava could keep Marcy on this track. "It's peaceful, and it makes me happy. Do we need a reason?"

"Maybe we're subconsciously afraid of being forgotten, so we're trying to remember everyone else. I know I want people to say my name after I'm gone. Everyone deserves to continue existing,” Marcy says with a shrug.

"So Ronnie comes for herself. Marcy comes for them."

"Who do you come for?"

Ava wraps her arms around her legs, as if she were cold. "Neither of your theories allow for ghosts."

She avoids their eyes, and looks very un-Ava-like all of a sudden.

"Do you come for ghosts?" Ronnie asks in the most neutral voice she can manage.

"No," she says defensively. "I mean, I-I didn't. I like doing this, and- just- wouldn't it be cool? If they were watching us, from the shadows, appreciating it?"

Ava becomes more and more nervous as the silence stretches on. Finally, Marcy smiles.

"You're assuming that they're all nice."

[anoracle]

002: for any of my messy children wjegjl

are u ready for a monster of a post???

002 | Give me a character & I will tell you

Soren Song:

How I feel about this character: i don’t think i have new ways to tell you how much i love his boy???? and he’s been through so many changes from when you first started playing him in sus, i can’t believe the boy you have now and how much i love him and how much you still put in that childish innocence in him that comes out in bursts in his threads that’s both so soft and heartbreaking all at once bc he’s this giant tragedy of all his wants and fears and not fully able to tell them apart anymore???? and wanting to be loved so much but he still destroys some of his relationships by testing that and wanting to keep up this image he has that’s this plaything that’s destroying himself and being destroyed by others, i hate and love you and some other day i’ll rant AGAIN on how much i love your characterization and writing in general and level of characterization you do, teach me ur ways

All the people I ship romantically with this character: soren x something soft bc i will fight for soft things for this boi u can’t stop me, BUT ALSO, soren/link, soren/noah, lowkey soren/li hua hateship

My non-romantic OTP for this character: soren x lenny, soren x emme, soren x carter, soren x xue, soren x aura, soren x noah

A headcanon with my character: what headcanons don’t we have for emme/soren, but Here We Go Again: so emme having a soft vision of an older soren when she was a young kiddo, imagine a parallel of this when she has another vision of him just before she met him of the soren he will become years from now and just the chaos spiral, and we talked about her knowing the direction he’s heading in, but not fully before they became friends i think? or having a drawing of that too somewhere, one she would try to hide from herself, but not throw away, maybe hidden under her bed, and he could find this one and recognize himself and the person he’s becoming, and the subtle conversations of emme always kind of knowing where he was going and always treating him as she did despite it, or even thinking he could be the one she could finally save/change the future for, and him having not just a hint of what he’s becoming, but a real image and real proof of what he looks like beyond himself, and her having to come to terms with the idea that this isn’t it, him feeling the acceptance from her, but what we talked about too of just him testing that loyalty in Terrible ways

My OTP: I don’t KNow I don’t KNOW, i see u and soj with link and soren, but also where is someone that will not hurt this boy, but Importantly, who this boy won’t hurt and things Longlasting, and everything is hurting my heart

My OT3: if i didn’t say soren/emme/carter i’d be a traitor against myself; soren/li hua/noah even tho i still don’t know really what’s happening???

Sol Qiao:

How I feel about this character: OKAY i know too well about u wanting sol as just this chaos wrecker and turning character development on its head and u are doing so well and this woman is killing me one step further with each thread and headcanon i read????? all while i love everything you do with her characterization and her simply being her, she had this power you can read in your writing of her, this confidence and control she has over everything she does, featuring being so unapologetic about what she’s doing and she’s so manipulative and secretly in control of so much shit around her that she’s this shadow in people’s lives without them knowing, but she Knows and that’s so fun to read and have as a character around, along with her kind of jealousy and want to be this Sole figure in people’s lives sometimes???? keep on killing me with her???

All the people I ship romantically with this character: tbh sol/laurel, i need no explanation. sol/ceydran?? sol and just wrecking shit like she deserves, sol and golden things, sol/me

My non-romantic OTP for this character: sol x li hua, sol x emme, sol x link, sol x lenny, sol x xue, sol x aura, really sol and all these kids she’s mothering or jsut being lovely (Terrible) with, ending my life for

A headcanon with my character: malachi and sol things, when will they not murder me??? i’m still dead at them watching movies together and just those small things we’ve mentioned besides all the shit he does for her just for a taste of blood and at some point for his own wants beyond blood and loss of humanity she’s supporting, and OKAY, but let’s talk about the beyond things and all the little things he does for her bc he could do a lot - lowkey casual bodyguard when they go places even though she doesn’t need it really but the image of a bodyguard helps, reminder of who’s the boss here???? mal and cleaning up her messes that don’t involve blood, it’s just making sure she isn’t bothered where she goes?? mal and sol and him cooking dinners for her and both of them knowing the last time he really cooked it was for a big family and know just him and maybe sol. and just like the movies they watch together, just really pretentious things too 

My OTP: idk yet but i know in my heart, it’s probably a power couple and/or gay 

My OT3: noah/ceydran/sol as what the fuck is happening?? sol/laurel/marci as ladies that could kill me and i’d let them

Theo Nam:

How I feel about this character: i need 10 million rants daily about this boy!! and i know you don’t write softs often and you are doing great my sweet babe this boy!!! theo has killed me everyday since idea of him came up and there’s a really tragic aspect of him that comes up so much in threads and is weaved into how he treats people and how he behaves that’s so nervous and being slightly separated from the world and people, while still being so apart of the world in a way, but really like as roots, as nature and maybe it’s people that don’t understand him and not the other way around bc he’s in this inbetween place of living??? and something that i’ve loved to read too is his possible fall into madness and how he’s facing that or just the way he is around those like nadia and kanta and omari and where that could lead with his character is really interesting bc the questions of what is his mental health with or without these influences around him too

All the people I ship romantically with this character: theo/emme bc u know who i am, theo/aura????, theo x being happy dammit, theo x soft things, theo x sleeping

My non-romantic OTP for this character: theo x cat, theo x kanta, theo x ceydran, theo x omari as terrible things, theo x xue, theo x mal

A headcanon with my character: u know i’m always on my bullshit with softness??? and we’re talking about theo and emme and relearning what family is supposed to be like while they’re both kinda blind together about it?? and pillowtalk of what they think family should feel like - the questions emme’s asking though about what having a big family is like and small stories of living on the farm and only the soft things and stories of emme going through magazines pretending people were her parents and really using tv references for what she thinks family is like, and where this all just develops, from the sad things to the things they idealize about families and silent trying for redefinitions of people that will leave. and then the soft, lowkey sad things of them talking about homes like in the thread now as this dream-like place before maybe they turn real and start to sound like real plans and places bc emme probably associates family too with specific places w/ all their moving around or at least being together, and now their dates in cities but they go stores too just to walk around, casual mention of things they like but know right now they can’t have in any place, before family can be full defined as people and feelings without past pain and having family be something seeming out of reach??

My OTP: theo x emme bc i enjoy nice things for my children

My OT3: nadia/kanta/theo as the worst thing to ever happen in my life??? theo/ceydran/emme as soft funfair things thanks

@fcxxes

[boglog]

Wholesome Questionare Tag Meme

Tagged by @80sglamcowboy Rules are: -Post the rules -Answer the questions given to you by the tagger -Write eleven questions of your own -Tag eleven people

This is long as Hell, friends and I apologise.

One inquisitive bitch has asked me:

1. Name one person (real or fictional) that you think you could 100% take on in a fight

Foaming mouth guy from Avatar. He’s got no stamina, barely any health, no skill. He’s unfocused and weak and my noodley nerd-ass could take him. (Though I am a little concerned he has rabies.)

2. What’s your favourite snack rn

Grilled cheese w veggies, mustard, and grilled tofu w a side of ketchup made by my roommate. It’s honestly the purest thing.

3. Which apocalypse do you think you’d do the best in? (i.e. Nuclear winter/ robot uprising/ Too many vampires, etc)

O man. I love apocalypse movies and I love survival horror (that one episode of the X Files where they’re trapped in a cabin, anybody?). I also genuinely love camping and I’m a bit of a medical hobbyist. I also watched an unreasonable amount of prepper videos on YouTube. That said, as mentioned above, I am a couch potato weekling. Furthermore, I don’t do well in conflict so if the world hierarchy collapses into a power vacuum where you have to Orange is the New Black-style intimidate ppl for supplies, I would melt and die quickly.

My best bet, it would seem, is an Arrival-esque alien apocalypse where the ones who have enough patience and sci fi knowledge to communicate w aliens are at the top of the food chain. And worst case scenario it’s better for my ego to die at the hands of an alien than a human.

Sci go apocalypses are just cleaner y'know ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


4. Best and worst fandom you’ve been in? Or have you somehow managed to avoid fandom completely?

Worst has to be Steven Universe. I regret not just moving on after I got bored. Ah well.

(I also think celebrity/real ppl fandoms are a dead end.)

My other fandoms all have various pros and cons and it’s hard to pick a favourite.

Adventure Time has great fanart, great meta and ppl have yet to descend into Homestuck-ian chaos. That said, they’re quiet af. People also fixate way too much on the fake fanfic AU Fionna and Cake. I have yet to read a really good Bonny/Marcy fic and that is a tragedy (a few have come close tho). Bottom line for AT tho is that it’s my go to wholesome cartoonist fandom. I like that it has depth but that it’s generally very simple and fun and that the fans are mostly shut in animation adults.

AtLA/LoK fandom’s biggest pro is that it’s huge and you literally never ran out of quality content. I’ve even made a few friends via this decade old franchise. It’s also enjoyably rich and complex. One of my favourite (now inactive) blogs was one that connected world building and little background Easter eggs to real Chinese history and culture. That wAs so cool!! I defs think as a Chinese person it allowed me to connect to non-western culture in a socially acceptable way.

The downsides tho are many: it can be overwhelmingly complicated (esp as someone who knows jack shit abt Chinese history), people take it too seriously, The Great Shipping Wars, it’s so big it’s a little lonely, the show itself has so many flaws upon greater inspection you wonder why you wasted your time on anything related to it, it’s an Asian themed story created by white dudes who make fun of their fans, the best parts of the show were written by other writers but those same white guys get k the credit. Also as w any fandom related to POC culture, racism happens. Anyways most of you know this already. IMO the best thing to have happened do the fandom is korrasami. Now it’s just abt Asian lesbians ruling the world.

(Though I also thoroughly enjoy the Family Rivalry part of the fandom. There are so mNy dysfunctional families to choose from!)

Rick and Morty is technically speaking my newest fandom. It’s got a lot of obvious cons (pickle Rick sexists, Szechuan sauce racists, asfhkkh incest) but one other con is just how pedantic and overly analytical people are abt the world building. I can’t breathe wo being corrected. RM has a misleadingly complicated high sci fi aesthetic that begets the kind of overanalysing my brand of overanalytical nerdiness can’t handle. Too many alternate universes. It’s just too complicated.

However one thing I like is that conversely I can overanalyse the writing and characters’ psychology/relationships (which I LOVE) and ppl take me very seriously. (At least they used to.) it’s kinda validating to have your 3k word essay on an old man’s bedroom and what that signifies for his depression get over 1k notes.

Rm also attracts the fun, super talented animation crowd so there’s boundless fanart and memes. I never knew I would like a gravity falls crossover retirement home AU btwn Rick and Stan so much but the art is objectively gorgeous?? So ??

I really dislike the lack of attention the female characters get from fandom bc they’re all really great? Female rep is limited but both canon and fic really do their 2-3 tokens justice. Also the jerry hatred is getting old (that male aggression… Like… Calm down, Jake) but it’s a refreshing departure drom when Megg from family guy was the butt of the joke.

Harry Potter, one of the pillars of nerd society, has both changed my life and irreconcilably annoyed me to death. (W no thanks to the racist creator herself!) One can’t underestimate how huge the hp fandom is which offers you as many reasons to love it as reasons not to. Harry Potter’s canon has complex world building that’s also charming enough not to take itself too seriously and much the same could b said of fanon. To a degree. Certain corners of the fanbase are fantastic shitposters and meme-ers and can draw you back in like a black hole. Casually enjoying Harry potter imo is where it’s at. The fanfic is probably one of the most impressively vast. Strangers at Drakesaugh, believe it or not, still updates and not only that, I still read it.

Not casually enjoying Harry potter is, um, yikes? HP and Hunger Games love to insert themselves appropriately in real life political traumas and honestly the dedication of the fandom can be overwhelming.

The HP fanart corner of deviantart circa 2010-12 and @flocc HP comics however are the best.

Meet the Robinsons, Ye Olde Fandom, still stands to this day. (Thanks in part to me ngl) As Iroh might say, they are a proud people. MTR is so bizarre and tiny it’s the only fandom I was able to read EVERY fic summary in existence (ones published on obscure sites excepted). The fandom has never ceased to surprise me for better or worse and mostly due to its age range. The original movie was intended for 8-12 yr olds and their (jaded) parents which means that now, ten years later, the fans are anywhere between 12 and 25. It has approximately 20 pieces of professional-grade fanart and fic and I am downright serious abt the quality and thoughtful complexity of this minority of fanart. Like I shit you not some of it’s almost too dark. However, tragically, one can’t talk abt obscure Disney fandoms wo also mentioning the incest ships (this is what happens when middleschoolers have to resort to cartoons to explore their sexuality in an anti sex ed world), the disorganised crossovers, and the blinding lack of imagination. Nonetheless, that a fandom of any kind could sprout from a 90 min cgi movie before the recession, based off an obscure but objectively fascinating children’s book, is still impressive. The fandoms smallness can in many wars work to everybody’s benefit: it’s a tightly knit community w little to no drama. And lots of memes (that I mostly make) to enjoy sincerely or ironically.

I’m also going to mention, very briefly, the Twin Peaks fandom, most of whom, even the die hards, are v casual when it comes to fan content (I need more fic damnit). Nonetheless it’s a decidedly cool art kid crowd for an art house show and I really enjoy befriending twin peaks watchers.

5. What’s one hot food that you prefer cold? (or, alternatively, one cold food you like hot)

Is it snobby to say I like food to be the temperature God intended?

Like I like cold pizza and salad-y pasta but I wouldn’t mind if everything were room temperature as long as the food itself was well made.

6. ya like jazz? What music do you enjoy listening to? Can you recommend any songs/ artists from that genre?

I think in some contexts I can like jazz. It’s very cosy and nostalgic, it can make you feel like a grand dame stepping out of your limo into your martini filled mansion as records pop around you and your fur carpeted living room. I also occasionally like jazz covers and alternate genres of jazz like electro swing etc.

Generally though I also think jazz is a little antiquated and a little all over the place. I lean more towards the ambiguous minimalism of mellow techno music like Jonna Lee, Grimes, Björk, early Lorde, Yasmine Hamdan, Austra, TRST, etc

I mean I don’t stick to just one genre (I imagine most ppl don’t). I like alternative (Tori Amos, Regina Spektor, Joanna Newsom) and some musicians who seem to completely exist outside of genre like iMonster and the Gorillaz. Not to mention straight up pop like broods, Ellie goulding, lady gaga and Lana del rey. (I mean technically Ldr isn’t pop but u get the ideer)

7. What binge worthy show do you like?

So many man. There are so many out there! Twin peaks, Transparent, Love, Grace and Frankie, Adventure Time, House of Cards, Bojack Horseman, Rick and Morty, Mad Men, Girls, Broad City, Black Mirror, Avatar TLA, 6Teen, Chowder, Over the Garden Wall, Flapjack, the first season of Downton Abbey, Game of Thrones, etc

The list goes on. I’m a TV fiend.

8. What’s an old meme that you miss and wish would be brought back?

Always liked the Gothic [x town or whatever] meme. It was like a text post version of the cursed images meme. Currently I’m really enjoying the song from another room meme and I hope even after it gets old it’ll make a comeback.

9. Tell me your aesthetic



O man. That’s a can of worms! Okay. Deep breath.

I like futurism, of all kinds. I like strong lines and clear shapes. I like colour blocking and minimalism and glass and holographic LED neons. I like white Japanese urban tiled buildings. I like aliens and ruins and cubes and white and colour blocking and black. I like technology and aliens and Comme des Garçons and Issey Miyake. Rooms that are empty but for one light and one window and one plant. Love that.

I like the midcentury cubism and Mod and 30’s futurism. Clear and strong industrial shapes and curves and post modernist abstractionism.

I also love nature, I love most every Björk and Iamamiwhoami music video. I love the mountains and the forests and the desert and the winter tundra and most of all I love the water. A vast expanse of sky and sea w so many colours and textures. I love the 2000s and funny blob shapes and y2k’s obsession w secondary colours and shiny round things. Love pink. I am a grown adult who will never tire of pink. (Though I don’t really like when people overdo pink.) I love cursed image family photos taken with flash in a suburb. I love the grime and the sanitary aesthetic of suburbs and hospitals and brutalist office spaces. The fluorescent lights of the institution but with purple carpeting!

I love 70s mod and I love colorful 80s brutalism I like it when houses are shaped weirdly and they have carpets and polished curved wooden countertops and spacious nothingness where everything looks clean and cosy and bizarrely ugly and it all looks like an art gallery w too many plants.

I also really love maximalism and wood and detail and fur and velvet and embroidery and silk and windows and wood carvings.

I love 70s kitsch like John waters movies and Shrimps designer fake fur CDG17 where they just piled on knickknack after knickknack onto white dresses w food long trains. Toys and novelty items and lamps shaped like a woman’s leg in a fishnet stocking. (See also: most Tim burton movies, wes Anderson, Carrie fishers house)

An overwhelming mishmash of wool patterns with clean cubic 70s architecture and so many plants and windows and wallpaper and candles and cobwebs. Also really like witchy mourning jewelry and essentially every house in Harry potter. Love the unfortunately racist boho/hippie aesthetic. Any house designed by bill kirsch is a masterpiece. Woven baskets on the ceiling piles of hats and art supplies everywhere. Stuff!! Everywhere! Hidden passageways reading nooks fireplaces the Pink Palace from Coraline!

Everything!!!

I’m a cartoonist who’s a nerd for design so I like when concepts are taken to the extreme in a humourously charming and clear-minded way. Whatever aesthetic someone chooses, they should go all out and really dedicate themselves to the highest form of that aesthetic. It has to be perfect without being sanitary of fake. It has to be alive yet beautiful, frozen in one perfect moment.

10. Favourite time of day and why?

Dusk. I think it’s a nostalgia thing. I loved the hours before bed time as well the hours before dinner when it was getting dark and the sun was reflecting freaky colours along the horizon while I ran around the grass. It’s cozy but it’s spacious and adventurous. So many things can happen at dusk!



11. You have the choice to live in any fictional universe - which one do you pick and why?

Harry Potter!!! You get the best of both worlds: magical, over-romanticised Victorian/medievalism, wish-fulfillment surrealism and wifi. It’s great. Likelihood of dying is so low, medicine is so advanced and even then ppls n°1 choice of lethal weapon (Avada Kedavra) is painless. Me and Luna could hang in her garden. I’d never have to pay for the subway again. I could live a nomadic life in a tent w infinite space. If you chose to live as a wizard amongst Muggles you’re basically god and you can cheat capitalism. Gravity is my bitch! And I’m not gna lie my dream house has always been a combination of The Burrow, the Lovegood house, and Shell Cottage.

My turn to pick your brain:

1 Favourite texture?

2 Favourite smell?

3 Favourite children’s book/children’s TV show? (I’m talking about the bizarre abstract ones for toddlers)

4 Best and worst prank you’ve ever pulled?

5 Weirdest beginning of a friendship?

6 When you’ve been in fandom for a while you start to notice you’ve a habit of staying in the same corners. What corner are you in? Are you part of the fluffy ship corner? The intense world building spec meta corner? The shitpost comic fanart corner? Etc

7 If you could invent a class that would be obligatory for all high schools across your country what would it be?

8 What’s the weirdest thing you’ve gotten at Halloween while trick or treating?

9 Weirdest family tradition of yours?

10 Describe your significant other (or your crush, or your dream partner or if you’re aromantic your fave person) through only TV references.

11 Favourite piece of dialogue in a movie?

I don’t know 11 ppl but nonetheless tagging: @that-guy-in-the-bowler-hat @skairheart @nochangenohope @eventheslightestrayofsunshine@autistic-jaredkleinman@phoenixkluke

…and YOU (if you were not mentioned above and so choose to accept this mission)

[missizzy]

Habeas for Superheroes, Part 5(Daredevil)

(Read entire fic on AO3)

“So,” Jennifer Many was saying, “A couple of hours ago, the White House issued a statement saying it was ‘deeply concerned’ about Secretary Ross’ words, and is ‘considering’ what actions are appropriate.” She kept her voice all too neutral. “What have you two got to say to that?”

It was the afternoon after the breakout and Ross’ response, and Foggy was still feeling shaken to the core. She doubted she was the only one. She and Matt were with the reporter in her office, and she thought it would’ve been easier to do this interview if the world had started feeling real again.

Or if Karen had been the one doing it. But she’d explained over again how journalists had their ethics, just like lawyers did, and so someone else had to do this one. Foggy wasn’t sure exactly how well Karen kept to those ethics, but hey, she almost certainly did more than Matt did to theirs. They understood, of course, but it still made this a lot harder.

She also wished Marci was there to do that question proper justice. But she was off doing her first interview with a Harlem reporter, her client’s mother alongside her. So she and Matt touched each other’s hands, and he flicked his fingers, and tilted his head when she looked at it.

She briefly considered just how vicious she wanted to be, and settled for, “Well, I’ve always thought our current President was a bit of a coward, but I would’ve thought he would’ve done the right thing in this case.”

Many honestly looked a little shocked when the word “coward” came out. It wasn’t really the done thing to use it to describe Matthew Ellis anymore. It had been used all the time during his first term, but after he’d nearly been dropped into flames on live TV, there’d been the feeling the insult ought to be retired.

But Foggy continued, “I’m sorry, but I can call him nothing else. This situation should be in black and white. Ross should’ve been out of a job before midnight last night. He should have been out of a job as soon as that footage leaked, and the President should be before a Congressional committee right now, answering questions about how he let one of his men imprison four people, three of them American citizens, without trial, lawyers, or even disclosure to the public of where they were. That they haven’t called him before one is cowardice on their part too.”

“Ms. Nelson,” said Many, now looking all too intrigued, “are you insinuating that there was a conspiracy within the Ellis Administration related to this?”

“Well, there had to be,” said Matt. “An operation like the…like what’s been exposed takes the coordinated effort of a lot of people. It’s possible, maybe that President Ellis was not aware what was going on, but if they were keeping this from him, then there is even more question about why he hasn’t disowned the Secretary of State yet. There are a lot of questions we don’t have answers to.”

“Are you hoping to achieve that as well for your clients?”

“It would be nice if we could,” said Foggy. “I think they’d like to know, although of course since we can’t get into contact with them right now, we can only guess at that. Our priority, of course, is getting them able to come home without their being locked up in a secret hole out in the middle of the ocean.”

“Aren’t you worried they might refuse to come here?” Many asked. “After all, there’s little dispute they’ve violated international law themselves, and while certainly it should be lawfully, and fairly, they may still find themselves under arrest.”

“If we are satisfied that their lives will not be at risk,” said Foggy, “and we get the chance to communicate with them, we will of course urge them to turn themselves in. And I think they themselves would willingly come back and do so if they were convinced they would be treated fairly, though I don’t know how the government could get them to believe that as long as Secretary Ross remains part of it, especially when the Attorney General is oddly silent. And even the Secretary of Defense is; if this was truly a war situation, one would expect him to speak, after all.”

“Are you worried their lives might be at risk, then?” There was the kind of glint in Many’s eyes that made Foggy think she was hoping for a yes.

Which got her to stop and think, before Matt ended up answering first. “I don’t think at this point anyone actually wants them dead. But that doesn’t mean we don’t have to worry. One thing we’ve noticed in general in recent months, and the Sokovia Accords reflect this, is a general disregard for the basic safety and wellbeing for superpowered individuals. There seems to be an assumption they can stand any abuse thrown at them, and no thought of how those abuses might interact with their gifts, and when in most case no one knows much about how those powers are affecting their bodies and their health. That straitjacket was obviously suppressing Ms. Maximoff’s powers, and we have no idea what even the amount of time she spent in it did to her.

And of course in recent weeks we’ve started to see a group of armed terrorists roam the streets and murder Inhumans, and nobody seems to be doing much about that even when they blew up a government compound. Imagine what would’ve happened in response had an Islamic group done such a thing. Even a more normal white right-wing group doing it probably would have resulted in arrests. There is a clear message being sent that anyone can do anything they like to someone superpowered without consequences. Consequences exist only for them.” By now Matt was speaking with a passion that made Many look a little surprised. Well, she couldn’t know this was personal for him.

And Foggy very much wanted to lead the conversation away from that vein, so she said, “And in this case, given what kind of rhetoric is being spoken by Ross against our clients, and the fact that it will probably be military people sent to capture them if they’re found, we are worried, yes, that they won’t see taking them alive as the priority. Especially if they’re convinced a fight is inevitable, which of course it might not be. I do hope the government realizes, of course, that if any of our clients is killed by soldiers, and their families wish it, we will pursue redress through any avenue we find open to us.”

There was a knock at the door, and Marci’s voice called, “Foggy? You’ve got a visitor, and one of the type I’m not sure you want to keep waiting too long. Your PA’s entertaining her right now.”

Matt rose very fast to let her in, fast enough that Foggy thought he’d heard and recognized the visitor in question. But Foggy couldn’t think it was any of the Avengers, and surely if it was one of Matt’s newer more local superhero buddies Marci would’ve identified them.

Marci took a look at Many, then said, “I think you might want to finish the interview before she comes in, though.” Definitely someone they didn’t necessarily want the press to know about, then.

There was a moment where Many seemed to consider her options, and what kind of reporter she wanted to be that day. Then she stood up and said, “I actually would like to talk to you, further, Mr. Murdock, of waking up to discover the Black Widow had broken into your apartment, when I understand your wife was at work.”

“Well,” said Matt, “Foggy actually woke me up with the papers; I’d slept a little longer than I’d intended to that day.” He was already walking towards the door, Many following.

“Do you think there’s any chance Ms. Romanov had something to do with that?” Foggy heard her ask as they passed out the door. If Matt had identified his wife’s visitor, he’d no doubt casually stroll the other way.

“I’ll go give her the all clear,” said Marci, and from the way she was now grinning, Foggy was pretty sure she’d recognized the visitor too. As she took her place at her desk, Foggy wondered if it was Vision.

But really, she thought, when Pepper Potts came through the door, that one should’ve been obvious.

“Ms. Potts.” Foggy couldn’t help but smile. All the Avengers had spoken highly of Pepper, and Wanda believed she’d played a huge part in her being admitted into the country even after the Avengers had initially spoken to the U.S. government about how dangerous she was. She knew meeting her just now had probably made Marci’s month, and Foggy couldn’t say she didn’t have some admiration for this smart, powerful woman herself.

She closed the door behind her and said, “I’m afraid the official reason for my being here is currently in dispute. Tony keeps thinking up more and more creative ones to give to the press if we’re ever pushed to. But since you could never give it to them anyway, that’s not your problem, right?”

“Right,” Foggy agreed, but it was harder to keep the smile on, hearing her tone as she talked about Tony Stark. It made her think they had broken up, and it certainly hadn’t been because of her not loving him anymore.

“So,” she came over to Foggy’s desk, grabbing a chair and bringing it over herself before Foggy could get up to do that. “I do have to ask this first: do you have anything to do with what your friend Karen Page has written?”

“Not about Stark, and we’ve got no control over that.” Foggy hastily put up her hands. “Karen does what she wants, writes what she wants, ventures into dangerous places and risks her life for what she wants, and you should see how upset Matt gets about it every time he hears about the last.” The hypocrite, she didn’t add, because she wasn’t one hundred percent sure Pepper knew about that.

“All right, then,” she said. “I thought as much anyway. I mean, I’ve met her.”

Then she said, “So the actual reason I’m here is because I didn’t want to risk putting this conversation on any phone or email lines. I’ll understand completely if you don’t want to tell us this, even if he won’t, but Tony wants to know how much your husband’s likely to go out as his alter ego.”

So she did know. “He doesn’t want any of his help,” Foggy told her. “I don’t think he would, honestly, even if I was inclined to advocate for it, and right now, I’m sorry, but I’m not.” She turned stern on the end of that.

Ms. Potts’ lips didn’t even twitch. “Understood. Though I can’t promise he won’t try to give it, anyway.”

Foggy actually had to chuckle at that. “Do you have any idea how much Stark’s likely to even be in New York City?” she asked.

She shook her head. “I should tell you about that too, because he’s actually been talking about moving upstate completely. Selling the tower, the whole works. I mean, it definitely wouldn’t be tomorrow, even if he did do it. So if you were hoping we’ll get out of your hair fast, sorry.” The smile was weak, but Foggy was impressed she even tried it when her voice was so heavy. “One thing he does want to do, though, is he wants to make sure you both are always able to contact him no matter what. Allow me to point out to you that you can take that means of contact and never use it.”

“I’m willing to take it,” said Foggy. “Can’t speak for Matt, but I’m smart enough not to turn down the immediate means to a powerful ally when it’s offered. Never know when you might need that, especially when suing the President.”

She thought about it another moment, then decided to go forward with it: “Also, Ms. Potts, I would like you to know, if you yourself ever want to talk to me, for any reason at all, I will be happy to make myself available.”

“Thank you.” Her voice was unexpectedly soft, a hint of vulnerability. She bent down to reach into her purse, and took possibly longer than she needed poking about in it before pulling out a card. “He gave this to the other Avengers right after the Incident. The number is one only we’ve had, mostly. You call it, our current system will make sure we both know as soon as we can without anyone else finding out.”

It was a pretty innocuous-looking card for Stark. Foggy carefully put it away in her desk. When she looked up after doing so, Pepper Potts was just looking at her with an unreadable expression, and she found herself saying, “For the record, ‘ever’ includes right now.”

“I don’t want you to ask me any questions.”

“No problem,” said Foggy. “I won’t.” After hearing her tone there, she didn’t have to anyway. “I don’t promise I’ll answer yours, but you can ask them.”

“You really might not on this one,” and she let what was left of her composed face fall away completely as she asked, “Did you ever consider leaving him?”

“Sure,” said Foggy. “When he decided to start running around at night in his black pajamas less than a month before our wedding date.” She tried to keep her own voice steady, and hoped dearly Pepper wouldn’t ask if there had been any other times. That one she would have to refuse to answer. Besides, there had been further circumstances the other time she’d been considering it.

But the next question was, “And have you been sorry you didn’t? At times? For long lengths of time?”

That was a surprisingly easy one. “For moments, mostly. The hard ones especially, including the ones where I was convinced he was going to die, and a tiny bit of me was a little relieved at the thought.” Pepper looked shocked at that, but said nothing as Foggy pressed on. “And telling myself he needed me didn’t even help those times. There’s a point where it won’t anymore, once you realize you’re not going to save him.”

“It’s not our job to save them.” She said it as if she was confirming it to herself.

“Exactly. Even if they try to let you, and I think Matt genuinely did try once.”

Ms. Potts closed her eyes. The tabloids had once told a story about how her boyfriend had retired, or tried to anyway, because of her, and Foggy suspected the basic details of that had been true. He’d given her too long to hope, perhaps.

Then she asked, “Does it get easier? Or harder?”

Foggy had to think about that one, and eventually, she just shook her head. “I can’t answer that one when you’re not me, and the man you’re in love with isn’t Matt. When it comes down to it, my answer as relates to Matt and myself varies by day.” She thought about it a little more, then said, “I don’t think the bad nights get worse, but I don’t think they get better either. Maybe there are less of them, though, once you start figuring out your coping strategies. Though I would think…” She stopped herself; that might qualify as a question.

“I would’ve figured them out already?” Ms. Potts finished; thankfully she didn’t sound bothered. “I had ones that used to work better, which, honestly, mostly involved more CEOing. It’s just that…” She seemed to catch herself, unwilling to admit more to someone who was still pretty much a stranger.

Foggy rescued her as best she could with a gentle, “If it’s you that’s changing and feeling different, well, that’s probably a different problem all together, and one I’m not equipped to give you advice on at all. Sorry.”

Would she herself ever change like Pepper Potts might be changing? Maybe she was a little already. Half a year in this place had rubbed off on her vocabulary and way of approaching things; Karen had made her aware of that a few times. She didn’t think Matt would ever stop loving her, or even wanting her, really, and she couldn’t imagine she would ever stop loving him, but could she turn into someone who no longer wanted him?

She had to suppress a shudder at the thought.

But meanwhile, Ms. Potts had managed a smile, one that looked very real and honest, and she said, “Thank you, Ms. Nelson. You’ve helped me a lot.”

“My friends call me Foggy,” she said. “And I think we really should consider each other friends, even if maybe we don’t see each other too often, Ms. Potts. Not that I’d mind if we do, but even if we don’t.”

“Pepper, then.” And they reached out and shook hands on it. “I’ll get back to you if and when I get a better idea of what Tony’s planning to do about the tower. Or anything else happens you two should probably know about.”

Foggy poked her head out the door first, but Cheryl had already been standing watch. “I think Matt got her into Nick Stoll’s old office,” she said. “He looked like he could keep talking for a long while, too.”

Matt, of course, would know once Pepper was safely out and away from the building, so once Foggy had seen her out without incident, she expected him to be done talking soon. Sure enough, ten minutes after she’d returned to her office, she heard their voices in the hall. But they didn’t come in, but instead headed upstairs together, and twenty minutes after that Matt still hadn’t come back.

Had he been listening in? That wouldn’t have been right of him, especially when it had come to Pepper and her privacy, but maybe he hadn’t been able to stop himself.

She was considering calling him, just to make sure he hadn’t gotten distracted enough to step into an open manhole or something, when Karen called her. “I think you should know,” she said. “Jennifer just got back here, and now Ellison’s offended at you on the President’s behalf. I assume you’re smart enough to know that’s a very bad sign.”

“What did she say that got him offended, exactly?” Foggy asked, telling herself she didn’t care either way.

“Just that you’d called Ellis a coward. I’m allowed to tell you off the record I agree with you there, right?”

“Absolutely, only I have to watch what I say around you.” Foggy didn’t mind; it was comforting to hear someone agree with her on a comment she’d known already was going to provoke some anger. “Look, I know Ellison’s been good to you and everything, but remember he did originally side with Fisk.”

“He wasn’t the only one,” said Karen. “To be fair, most of the men who voiced their agreement with his outrage, well, they were all men for starters, and also, that type of man. The kind I try to avoid being alone with in the break room, and not even because I think they’ll make advances on me, necessarily, but simply because they might go belittling me.”

“So the guys who were going to throw bullshit at three of the four of us anyway, then,” said Foggy, trying to make herself sound completely relaxed, because she’d need to do that even more than usual in the coming days.

“You’ve never gotten hate mail, have you?” Karen’s voice was tiny and sad, the voice of someone who had.

Foggy's first thought then was, Oh God, Matt is going to lose his shit. Out loud she said, “It was probably inevitable anyway. Any tips for coping? For all four of us?”

A pause while Karen thought about it, then, “Try to read as little of it as possible, for starters. I actually don’t even see all of it anymore.”

“You mean leave Cheryl to deal with it? I don’t know if I want to do that, Karen. Also, I don’t know if we can get Marci to leave it be, if she starts getting it.”

“It might not have to be her, especially if Marci does start getting it too. Also, remember you can report death threats to the police, though I don’t always. Hell, there was at least one letter I fear there was a cop involved in. That’ll be your call.”

Just then, outside the door, she heard Cheryl saying, “Mr. Murdock, how long are you going to just stand outside your wife’s door?”

Matt’s response was very soft, a, “I think she might be on the phone with someone?”

Very considerate of him, Foggy supposed, except for the part where he was probably now shamelessly listening in. He had to be listening to her responses to Karen, at least. “Matt’s lurking around outside my door,” she informed Karen. “I don’t know whether or not I want him to participate in this conversation or not.” More quietly, she added, “Although if you don’t, Matt, could you at least excuse yourself or something?”

“All right, all right, I’ll go in,” he said to Cheryl in response. She should’ve known better than to think he’d be willing to walk off.

To the casual observer, Matt as he walked in might have looked a little tired. Foggy knew him better. “Karen,” she said, “can I call you back in a few?”

“Absolutely,” said Karen. “Remember, you don’t have to be nice to him.”

Matt had been listening to that one; she could tell. “Thanks for the reminder,” Foggy said to her lightly. “Bye.” She stood up as she hung up.

“I didn’t hear most of your conversation with Ms. Potts,” he said. “I was able to focus on talking to Many, which helped. But…well, I heard enough to make me think too much, I suppose. I don’t know if there’s even anything to say, I just...”

“Wow,” said Foggy. “Okay. I think we need to keep you out of the vicinity for any further talks I have with Pepper, for your own sake as well as both of ours. Maybe in the future I’ll ask her to meet me somewhere outside of Hell’s Kitchen? I mean, she knows about your hearing, so I’m sure she’ll understand. Though maybe too much; I’m sure those computer systems of Stark’s hear everything in his various properties. Unless they have privacy settings?” Something to ask her about, maybe.

“So you think you two will be talking again?” Matt asked softly. “And not just about whatever Stark’s next up to?”

“Does that bother you?” Foggy asked, in a tone that she hoped conveyed that this wouldn’t impede her.

“No,” Matt said. “In fact, I…I’ll be glad if you have someone to talk to. I know it’s helped you to talk to Karen, of course, but maybe… maybe Pepper Potts can understand things Karen can’t. At least if she takes Stark back.”

“So you think they have broken up?” she asked, then, carefully, “did you hear anything else?”

Matt looked appropriately uncomfortable as he said, “Not exactly. But she just…I don’t know. I could tell from the moment she mentioned his name she was in great pain over him. Then again, so could you, I imagine. And I…well I did keep track of her after she left the building, though she summoned her car on the way out and it arrived before she’d been out there very long. And she was pacing the entire time. Loudly, and that wasn’t just because of her heels. You got to her, probably more than she’ll ever admit to you.”

“And we have to end this conversation now,” Foggy cut him off, but much as she probably shouldn’t know what he’d just told her, she wasn’t sorry to learn it. “Though you know,” she added as she thought of another thing, “do you think maybe we should introduce her and Claire?” Or even Colleen, but of course she fought alongside Danny, so that was kind of a different situation.

“Maybe talk to Claire first,” said Matt. “I mean, Luke Cage is a bit more…” He trailed off, embarrassed.

“Sensible?” Foggy offered.

“Yeah, that. I think, in the end, there are things Claire’s willing to get herself dragged into, and there’s drama maybe you really shouldn’t bother her with. Like me. Definitely like Stark.”

And that, the thought that yes, Tony Stark probably was even more of a headache than this crazy husband of hers, caused the giggles to start to bubble out of Foggy. Matt took his glasses off and did his best to give her a pointed look, which was a bad idea, because it just made her laugh harder. “Like you too, I think,” Matt told her, which did nothing decrease her mirth.

When she had at least calmed down, Matt mused further, “Maybe have Karen talk to Claire with you. After all, she’s actually met Ms. Potts. I’ve never heard her speak badly of her, and when know you she’s the sort of woman Karen doesn’t go easy on.”

“Well, I have heard her criticize her words once, in relation to that whole think that happened in Sokovia, but maybe she’s forgiven her on that…” Maybe it would even do Karen and Pepper good to talk to each other. Of course, their situations remained different for the same reason Karen and Foggy’s situations were different, because Karen had never had to opportunity to be involved with the superhero she loved. Foggy supposed that did make her life easier in one way.

“Anyway,” Matt said, “I should probably also tell you; I got out of Many that Mr. Pulworth is staying in town for at least a couple more days, and that he’s probably going to pull Mrs. Wilson in for an interview after she refused to talk to anyone last night, and I just heard Marci tell her PA she’s headed for to Ft. Hamilton. I’ll try not to get too close to the premises…”

“Wow, you’re actually telling me this.” That by itself pleased Foggy so much she was willing enough to overlook the whole stalking dangerous people in broad daylight thing. Her standards had dropped so much. “Don’t suppose you’ll be able to get much of the guy’s reaction when Marci kicks his ass? You really shouldn’t tell me how she does so after all.” Which was a pity, since Marci no doubt had been spending the hours since their last meeting thinking of ways she could’ve done so already.

Matt smiled, and when she leaned towards him, he took the invitation to lightly kiss her. “I’ll see what I can do.”