#honor hestia by being kind!

[khaire-traveler]

🔥 Subtle Hestia Worship 🥖

Clean your room/house; keep your home in good condition

Make your space your own; decorate your room/home in a way that makes you feel good

Help out with household chores

Bake pastries for those you love, especially those topped with honey or cinnamon

Drink a soothing tea or hot chocolate; any sort of comfort drink; add honey to it if you can

Eat comfort food, especially from childhood

Have a picture of her in your wallet

Make a bonfire for her; gather around it with loved ones

If you have a fireplace, spend time around it

Have a candle that reminds you of her (no altar needed)

Wear jewelry that reminds you of her

Have a stuffed animal of a pig, cow, or donkey; have any stuffed animal, really

Have imagery of cranes, fire, or kettles around

Try veiling in honor of her, if able

Try growing poppy or hollyhock flowers

Volunteer at a homeless shelter

Make a warm meal for someone in need

Give baked goods to neighbors

Learn how to cook or bake

Care for yourself physically and mentally

Be as kind to yourself as you are to others

Practice modesty (this does not mean never celebrating or taking pride in yourself)

Host parties/celebrations at your home, especially those that welcome in family (found family works just as well)

Read a book to relax

Wear comfortable clothing; robes, slippers, sweaters, etc.

Learn how to make homemade bread

Learn how to crochet, knit, sew, etc.

Support local food banks; donate to them, if able

Donate toys to children in need

Donate clothes to others in need, especially warm clothes

Cook yourself/loved ones a delicious meal

Practice body positivity

Relax and decompress after a long day

Watch comfort movies or shows; engage in media that comforts you

Seek out wholesome stories online; humans helping one another, rescue animal turnarounds, cute puppy/kitty vids, etc.

-

May add more later on! For the time being, this is my list of discreet ways to worship Hestia. I hope it helps someone, and take care, everyone! May your hearth fires always be kept warm. ❤️🔥

Link to Subtle Worship Master list

[guardianspirits13]

I've been thinking about this for a while but like. The gods don't have a human conscience. And I know that's obvious, but the closer you look, you realize that they don't really feel emotions the same way humans do. They don't comprehend time, or death, or love in the same way that humans do. Apollo tells us he's lost track of centuries and forgets that people from thousands of years ago are dead and gone. The gods are incapable of change because they have no reason to do so, and few to no consequences if they don't.

When Apollo is turned mortal he is annoyed, sure. But he has trouble getting the concept of mortality through his head. He's seen thousands of people die- heck, he himself has brought plagues upon cities and set his wrath upon his mortal enemies with no hesitation. But humans to gods are playthings.

And so it isn't until he loses Jason, someone he knows, his half brother, that he understands true loss. He laments Hyacinthus and Daphne, but it was his own godly power that caused their demise- his wrath and jealousy. It was infatuation, sure. But did he really know what love was before he was cast down from Olympus?

Jason doesn't only die, but actively sacrifices himself to save Apollo. This is also moments after Apollo tried yet failed to kill himself instead, and it was in part this failure that led to Jason's death. This is a wound of guilt that eats away at Apollo for the rest of the series, and the lasting effects of grief are shown masterfully in the remaining books, with tears and breakdowns occuring seemingly at random, with overwhelming gratefulness at simple acts of kindness, and with the lingering sense of something missing.

Out of all of the remaining gods, it is probably Artemis who understands grief and other human emotions as closely, since she spends most of her time among born mortals in the human world. When she loses one of hunters, she shares in grief with the rest of her troop. She is in touch with the mortal world, I think, as much as a god can be.

And, as an honorable mention, Hestia- who is used to being overlooked and forgotten but is always ready to offer a smile and a warm meal to anyone in need. I think she understands isolation and loneliness as much as any human, and regularly appears in the mortal world to organize soup kitchens and food pantries for those who are struggling. That's just a headcanon though :)

I hope you enjoyed reading this, I've been itching to get these thoughts out for a while.

[a-little-revolution]

hey elliot! this is a surgery question, so please take all the time you need to reply. you've mentioned you had top surgery before, and i was wondering what it was like accessing that kind of care as a little person? was it challenging finding a surgeon willing to work with you? what sort of considerations were needed for your surgery and recovery, if any? i was also curious if you had used a binder before surgery, and how you found it? i have a hard enough time donning and doffing mine with long arms, so i'd imagine it could be quite challenging for you, but maybe you found ways around it! thank you for all your hard work and patience in educating folks. wishing you bountiful spoons and lots of restful, easy days 💚

Hello! Thank you so much for your patience, I did indeed take some time to process this - I'm more than happy to answer questions related to surgery on here, as it's such a large part of my experience as a little person, but I may indeed take some time to respond as I have medical CPTSD.

Anyhoo lol Yes! I have had top surgery, and my dwarfism did effect how I accessed that care:

Because I'm at risk for spinal injury, my surgery was done at a hospital rather than an outpatient centre where most top surgery is conducted (I needed to be kept overnight for monitoring while most top surgery patients leave day-of)

Like for all my surgeries, my sleep apnea and oxygen levels needed to be monitored

But unlike my many other surgeries, this particular hospital (which will remain nameless for my own security) was incredibly inaccessible despite it being obviously well funded. No stools to be found, the wheelchairs were so high and designed with an almost bike-like frame that I needed to be liften in and out of them, and the staff was unfriendly and ableist.

My surgeon was picked for her experience with little people rather than her experience with top surgery. (I ended up unhappy with my results because my surgeon was more familiar with breast reductions and didn't follow through with my wishes. My top surgery was actually the worst surgery experience I've had - I was repeatedly dead-named by members of the hospital, overdosed on anaesthesia, and my surgeon had a terrible bedside manner)

But my touch up surgeon was my first choice! Dr. Armstrong at McLean Clinic did a fantastic job straightening my scars and removing my nipples (which I had hesitated on for the first surgery but firmed up for the second. I love having no nipples!)

Image description: a photo of my torso and lower face, displaying my healed top surgery results. Two wavy pink scars line the bottom of my pecks, and I have no nipples. With one hand on my hip and the other on my upper chest, you can see my tarot "the fool" tattoo, my kissing crows, and my sailor mercury star. On my right hand I wear a red glass ring to honor my deity Hestia. I have pail skin, a short brown beard, green curly hair and a gold vertical medusa piercing.

Post-op care was understandably different for me. Since my arms are already short and locked, the limit to my range of arm motion affected me even more. I needed even more help with care tasks than that of an average height/able bodied patient. I was lucky to several loved ones around to help :) Though compared to other surgeries, I was happy that I was able to walk and be more independent for the most part.

I also just want to add: something I see a lot on social media is trans and nonbinary folks seemingly bouncing back from surgery effortlessly. We see them at the beach, posting photos, and it gives the illusion that top/gender affirming surgery isn't the painful, emotional, difficult thing that it is. IT'S OKAY IF YOU DON'T FEEL QUEER JOY IMMEDIATELY AFTER SURGERY!! It takes a while to heal and bounce back because it is a lot on your body! Take your time, and give your body the love and care it needs!

Anyway I hope this all was helpful/educational - and I wish all my queer, trans, and otherwise gender diverse followers a lovely day!!

[lost-celestial]

Giustiniani Hestia, Mercury Brings Psyche up to Olympus, Statue of Hades

May Lady Hestia give the Departed a seat before the flame; may Lady Psyche watch over them as Lord Hermes guides them; and may King Hades kindly accept them into the realm of the Dead.

Butterfly divider by @/huramuna

Detailed Petition Hestia, Psyche, Hermes, and Hades

Petition Hestia, the One Rich in Blessings. May Lady Hestia light the way for the Departed.

O' divine One, Lady Hestia; Kind, daughter of lovely-haired Rhea; Goddess of the Home herself.

Lady Hestia, who was the first Olympian devoured by the King of the Titans and the last to be spit out, who refused Lord Apollon and King Poseidon and swore by King Zeus' head to remain an eternal virgin, who now guides the sacrificial flame and receives a share of every offering; please hear my words.

You, who presides over the Home; You, who reigns over the hearth and the flames. Over communal feasts and family meals, domestic bliss, and family blessings. You, who manifests in every corner of a home, in the familiar smell of a beloved house, in the coziness of a fluffy blanket on a cold night, in the flame of every fire.

Please hear me, o' divine One.

Kindly welcome the Departed with your warm flames. Please give them a moment of rest on their long journey to the gateway of Hades and a seat before the fire. And when the time comes, may I also sit in front of your lovely hearth.

May you become the hope in the dark for the Departed.

Petition Psyche, the Winged One. May Lady Psyche watch over us during our time of transformation and struggle.

O' divine Winged One, Lady Psyche; Lovely-haired, beloved Mortal Princess, loved by Love himself. Lady Psyche, who unrelentingly sorted seeds under Lady Aphrodite's command, who gathered the golden fleece from the rams of the Sun, who collected water from the River Styx and traveled to the depths of Hades, twice in the name of Love; please hear my words.

You, who personifies our Soul and Spirit; You, who manifests in the gentle flutter of the passing butterflies, in the feeling of loneliness that comes from being the odd one in a room, in the triumph of succeeding after failing, in the days spent laying in bed to the days where one feel on top of the world.

Please hear me, O' divine Winged One.

Watch over those who came before me and walk alongside you in the form of butterflies; watch over those who will eventually go and walk the same path; and watch over me as I am in this moment.

May you watch as we make the most of this one Mortal life.

Petition Hermes, the Immortal Guide. May Lord Hermes guide us into the unknown.

O' divine Immortal Guide, Lord Hermes; Winged boots-wearing, beloved Son of Maia, Messenger of the Deathless Gods.

Lord Hermes, who escaped his cradle and stole Lord Apollon's cattle, whose silver tongue marked him as a thief with the wit and charm to persuade even the King of the Gods Zeus himself, who now guides the Shades to the gateways of Hades and traverses through the realm of the Living and the Dead; please hear my words.

You, who acts as the herald of the Gods; You, who reigns over travelers, thieves, herds, and flocks. Over persuasive words, language, and communication. You, who manifests in the random coins found in the corner of one's room while they clean, in green streetlights all the way home, in the swell of pride of a well-received speech, in the safe returns of a loved one.

Please hear me, O' divine Immortal Guide.

Guide those who walk this Earth in the form of butterflies to their rightful resting places—to the sides of their loved ones and those who honor them, to Hades so they may rest eternally. Guide their loved ones through the perils that await us all, and guide me, too.

May you lead us through the unknown.

Petition Hades, the Unseen Host of Many May King Hades kindly receive the spirits of the Departed.

O' divine Unseen One, Lord Hades; The receiver of all, brother of King Zeus and King Poseidon; King of the Underworld himself.

King Hades, who was devoured by the King of Titans, who was the first son swallowed and the last son to be spit out, who received the realm of the Underworld from a draw of lots, who now supervises the dead and ensures they are judged fairly by Minos, Aeacus, and Radamanthus; please hear my words.

You, who acts as King of the Underworld; You, who reigns over funeral rites and the Souls of the departed. Over the hidden resources of the World, the fertile soils, and the changing seasons alongside the Queen of the Underworld, Lady Persephone. You, who manifests in the newly fallen autumn leaves, in the warning barks of dogs, in the unwavering darkness of the night, and in the shadows that lurk in one's peripheral vision.

Please hear me, o' divine Unseen One.

Receive the Souls and Spirits of the departed and take them into your domain. Celebrate their arrival as they leave the upper world behind and join you in the form of butterflies and Shades. Please receive my offerings and host a celebration in the name of Death.

And may you join them in a joyous celebration, too.

[theblackdahliaemporium]

Greek Deity: Hestia

𝓖𝓸𝓭𝓭𝓮𝓼𝓼 𝓗𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓪

Hestia was the Greek virgin Goddess of the hearth, home, and hospitality. In Greek mythology, she is the eldest daughter of Kronos & Rhea. In her role as a protector of the family and political community, sacrifices and offerings were regularly made to Hestia at the hearth within each private home and at the town or city’s communal hearth. In some myths, the goddess voluntarily relinquished her place amongst the gods on Mount Olympus, swapping with Dionysus, because she prefers to withdraw form godly affairs and it sure of a fond welcome in any mortal city she chooses.

MEMBER OF THE TWELVE OLYMPIANS

ABODE: MOUNT OLYMPIANS

One of the 4 Wisdom Goddesses within you. Hestia is the Goddess of Meditative Wisdom.

“Hestia shook her head. “I am here because when all else fails, when all the other mighty gods have gone off to war, I am all that’s left. Home. Hearth.””

HESTIA IS THE GODDESS OF:

· House

· Home

· The family hearth

· The civic flame

· The state

· Family

· The sacrificial flame

· Domesticity

FAMILY:

· Parents: Kronos and Rhea

· Siblings: Demeter, Hera, Hades, Poseidon, Zeus; Chiron (half)

· Consort: None

· Children: None

ATTENDANTS:

· Nymphai

EPITHETS:

· Cult Epithets:

o Bulaea- Of the council.

o Polyolvos- Rich in Blessings

· Poetic Epithets:

o Aidios- Eternal

o Basileia- Queen

o Khloomorphos- Verdant

o Poteinotati- Beloved

IDENTIFIED WITH:

· Vesta (Roman)

· Tabiti (Scythian)

SYMBOLS & ATTRIBUTES:

· Symbols: Hearth, kettle or kettledrum, Modest head-veil, flame, cauldron

· Plants & Trees- Poppy, goldenrod, hollyhock, yarrow, angel’s trumpet

· Animals- pigs, cows, donkeys, cranes

· Scents: Angelica, Iris, Lavender, Peony, Amber, Frankincense, Chamomile, Myrrh

· Stones & Metals: Amethyst, Garnet, Gold, Silver, Brass, Quartz, Vanadinite

· Colors: gold, white, orange, red, lavender

· Planets & Days:

· Month: December

Offerings:

· Sweet wine, olive oil, food burned in fireplace, fresh fruit, domesticity, receiving of guests, milk, honey, tea, white flowers, candles, pottery, small kitchen antiques, pictures of family,

DEVOTIONAL ACTS:

o Donate to those who have lost their homes.

o Donate to food banks

o Spend some time by the fireplace.

o Read poetry or a book.

o Clean your house.

o Learn how to cook or bake.

o Learn how to sew, knit, crochet etc.

o Take care of your physical and mental health.

o Bake home-made bread.

o Set aside the first bite of your meal for Hestia.

o Host celebrations at your home.

Prayer to Hestia-

Hestia, Gracious Goddess who sits at the heart of each home, Who lives in the heart of each one who reveres you, Each one who holds you dear, Each one who turns to you for strength and harmony. Hestia, goddess most needful, goddess most serene, goddess most esteemed, the heart of the city is yours Great Goddess; within your realm are those who serve the state, who work for the good of all. Your blessings fall on the Honest, goddess, your wrath on the corrupt, on those who betray their trust for gain. Defender of the householder, Guardian of the hearth fire, Hestia, I praise and Honor you.

RITUALS AND FESTIVALS-

o Typically invoked for matters concerning family, households, and the state.

o Rites at the hearths of public buildings.

o A common practice that she was respected by being offered the first and last libations of wine at feasts.

o In Naucratis, people dines in the Prytaneion on the natal day of Hestia Prytanitis.

Orphanic Hymn to Hestia-

"Queen Hestia, daughter of mighty Kronos, You dwell in the center of the home with your vast everlasting fire. you purify the initiated of these rites, Inspire endless youth, wealth, benevolences, and holiness. You are the dwelling-place of the happy Gods and the strong support of mankind. Eternal, many-formed, beloved, and verdant. Smiling, happy one, accept these offerings with kindness, Breath upon us weal and soothing health."

SOURCES:

o www.theoi.com

o www.Greekpagan.com

o www.Hellenicgods.org

o Ancient Greek cults by J. Larson

o www.teaandrosemary.com

[things-bright-and-fine]

I'm dedicating each month to a theos, since I'm almost at a year of helpol and want to start treating it seriously, and I decided that it'd be right to start the year off with Apollo to celebrate the days getting longer and the sun's return, plus it seemed right since my new year's goal is to get a tarot/oracle business set up.

Apollo's one of the newer gods included in my personal practice, more because I was already leaving offerings every other week from health anxiety scares that I figured I might as well include him with the others in my daily practice.

Now, while I wouldn't say I have a godphone exactly, I do seem to get some pretty strong signals from the gods--always in relation to my own life--and there are very clear personalities that come through for each that I regularly pray to. Hermes is bright and encouraging and chatty (for lack of a better term.) Hestia is quiet and gentle, with the gentlest prods into housework; "it's okay!" is a very common refrain from her. Dionysos is languid and chill until he's not, but always very joyous and fun. Aphrodite is a tough-love bitch (said affectionately and with permission) who pushes me to better myself, very blunt and no-nonsense.

Apollo was very quiet for a long time, which was fine! It was a very "you're there, I'm here, we're cool" relationship. I did a new year's spread to get in touch with him, and it very much had the vibe of talking to someone at a party that you sort of know because of your mutual friend Hermes but you're not like instant besties.

But then like I said, I dedicated this month to him. I wasn't expecting too much, but I was excited to learn more about a god I wasn't as close to. And somewhere around the start of my journaling, I was just hit with melancholy that I instinctively associated with him. And it's strange, because in all my reading others' upgs and such, I've never come across him being melancholy. But looking at his myths this month--primarily with Daphne (which has haunted me since I first read it when I was like 8) and Hyakinthos--I was struck with grief. Of how horrifying it must be to feel a heart stop beating beneath bark, of how wearing laurels could serve as a reminder of misguided passion; the pain of seeing the crushed face of a lover, and in spite of divine power, being able to do nothing but make flowers grow from the blood.

Now, of course, the myths aren't literal, and I generally try to avoid egregiously humanizing the gods--a little, I think, is unavoidable, or else what would the point of connecting with them be?--but even so, that deep feeling of melancholy and sadness have stuck with me in regards to Apollo, along with a very quiet sort of earnestness--the kind you expect from someone who's eternally young.

The best thing I can figure is that this is the face of Apollo the healer, which, like I said, is the aspect I would usually call to in the midst of a health anxiety spike. Homer called him the physician of the gods--but healing comes hand in hand with grief. It comes with loss, and pushing through despite it. And so to me, he comes through as quiet, gentle, and sad--but sad with the assurance that the sun still shines, music still plays, and the world is still very beautiful and there's many people to love.

I suppose I just felt like sharing a different facet of Apollo than I normally see people experience. I'm glad for it, really, because I never felt I could connect with the bright and happy sun god I saw--respect and love in the way I love the theoi I'm not as close to, certainly, but never get close--but this facet of him is something I can connect with and feel close to, and I feel very honored to get to see this face.

[star-of-zeus]

13 and 23 for the ask game!

13. What is your favorite devotional act? 23. Are there any new deities you want to contact?

13. Currently? EDUCATING MYSELF ON PALESTINE. And the other genocides (Sudan, Armenian, etc.) that have happened and continue to happen and be unnoticed. Justice deity, father of gods and men, it's right there. For His other aspects, listening to the sound of the rain and opening my windows when it comes, taking ritual showers/baths, being kind and friendly to children, there can be so many. The simplest one I've done lately is taking deep breaths.

23. To be super honest, and maybe it's a little shameful to say as a Hellenic Polytheist blog that walks the line between reconstructionist and revivalist, but I don't have any relationship with Hestia. I've been thinking of baking some bread in Her honor, so I might do that.

Thanks for sending in the ask!

[best-underrated-anime]

Best Underrated Anime Group L Round 1: #L3 vs #L6

#L3: Very sweet young man in a horny world quests to get stronger

Life in the bustling city of Orario is never dull, especially for Bell Cranel, a naïve young man who hopes to become the greatest adventurer in the land. After a chance encounter with the lonely goddess, Hestia, his dreams become a little closer to reality. With her support, Bell embarks on a fantastic quest as he ventures deep within the city's monster-filled catacombs, known only as the "Dungeon." Death lurks around every corner in the cavernous depths of this terrifying labyrinth, and a mysterious power moves amidst the shadows.

Even on the surface, survival is a hard-earned privilege. Indeed, nothing is ever certain in a world where gods and humans live and work together, especially when they often struggle to get along. One thing is for sure, though: a myriad of blunders, triumphs and friendships awaits the dauntlessly optimistic protagonist of this Herculean tale.

#L6: Three girls and their (not) girly talk

At first glance, Galko, Otako, and Ojou are three high school girls who seem like they wouldn’t have anything to do with each other. Galko is a social butterfly with a reputation for being a party animal, even though she is actually innocent and good-hearted despite her appearance. Otako is a plain-looking girl with a sarcastic personality and a rabid love of manga. And Ojou is a wealthy young lady with excellent social graces, though she can be a bit absent-minded at times. Despite their differences, the three are best friends, and together they love to talk about various myths and ask candid questions about the female body.

Titles, propagandas, trailers, and poll under the cut!

#L3: Is it Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon? (Dungeon ni Deai wo Motomeru no wa Machigatteiru Darou ka)

Propaganda:

This DND-esque story centers on Bell Cranell, one of the goodest boys of all time. Not your typical white-haired anime boy, while Bell has known tragedy, he is far from hardened from it. Bell moved to the big city to become an adventurer to honor his late grandfather. Bell is earnest and kind and attracts quite the following of friends and supporters.

His very first supporter is the goddess Hestia, who is looked down on by many of the other gods. She granted him the power he needs to be an adventurer. She also has massive tits and is deeply obsessed with Bell. She’s not the only one. While the show is really touching at times, it’s also extremely horny. Many characters wear very little. I was not expecting such heartfelt story telling and beautiful animation when I watched the first episode as a joke.

Trigger Warnings:

#L6: Please tell me! Galko-chan (Oshiete! Galko-chan)

Propaganda:

Galko-chan is a short anime about 3 girl-friends, each representing a trope (the gyaru, the nerd and the lady) being friends despite their differences.

The episode generally kicks off with a taboo question—nothing’s really deep, but it works as a way to just deconstruct prejudices. Girls of all types and non types are welcome, it’s heartwarming.

Trigger Warnings: Gender Identity/Sexuality Discrimination. Galko is a gyaru, and it’s implied how she’s seen as a “slut”. But deconstructing these tropes are what the anime is all about.

If you’re reblogging and adding your own propaganda, please tag me @best-underrated-anime so that I’ll be sure to see it.

[mask131]

Another random example of how TV Tropes’ description of Greek gods is... fanciful let’s say

I have talked about my problems with the description of the gods on TV Tropes pages about “Classical Mythology” (which puts under one category Greek and Roman myths), and here is another interesting example of what is wrong with it. This precise passage, found in the description of Ares:

** He also platonically adores both Eris and Hestia, In Eris’s case she is a NightmareFetishist so she liked him for the same reason most didn’t, Hestia on the other-hand [[AllLovingHero loves everybody]] so naturally this includes Ares.

Do I even need to precise what is wrong with this being found on the page for the ACTUAL religious and mythological figure? This is something straight out of a fictional take on the god.

I mean for Eris, despite the wording being quite poor, there is at least some basis. But for Hestia?

Do we have any text, any visual depiction, any clue or discovery that shows Hestia and Ares interacting? No. We have no record of Hestia and Ares having any specific contact or connection between each other. This specific sentence about Ares appreciating Hestia just because she loves and is kind to all the gods, including Ares... is bullshit. In fact, where does it say in Greek mythology that Hestia is an “all-loving goddess”? Yes, she is a goddess who is known to have never gotten angry with anybody ; yes, she is a giver of peace, joy and tranquility ; yes, she is greatly respected and honored by all, including the other immortals... But does it mean that somehow she will like everybody and be kind to everybody? Not really. That’s an interpretation. An interpretation that became popular thanks to Riordan’s take on Hestia - and while I do not dislike what Riordan did with Hestia (I think he really worked well into giving her honors back), one has to remember that it is a fictional interpretation. 

The TV Tropes page is supposedly here to inform people about the actual mythological and religious figure, and yet it is filled with info like that. Like this sentence which is actually basically the mythical equivalent of a “headcanon”. Just because Hestia has a good vibe, people draw the conclusion “Oh well, she probably musn’t have hated Ares!” or “Ares probably liked her more than others, because everybody loved her, right?”. But that’s... your deduction. Your interpretation. It is not written in texts. It is not engraved in old stones. It was not a religious or philosophical ideas of the Greeks. It’s... your headcanon.

And the TV Tropes page is just... filled SO MUCH with headcanons it becomes really creepy when you take a longer look at it. Once we had to fight a misinterpretation of Greek mythology based on a fundamental misunderstanding of how things worked - with Hades being the devil, and whatnot. But now, we have to fight a different type of misinterpretation - an over-interpretation that mixes fictional retellings with actual Greek beliefs and that confuses true facts and invented headcanons. 

[bluepenguinstories]

Remoras Full Intermission VI: Found Family

Hestia

We arrived at the diner only to find it already packed. We were supposed to be the guests of honor, right? Well, I wasn’t the guest of honor, but I meant mom and her new wife. So why were there already people here before us? It is perhaps sad. Just a little bit, but sad, nonetheless. See, the most important people: Aphrodite, my girlfriend, Hermes, my brother, my mom, and Hera, my new other mom. Last but not least, there was me, Hestia.

It wasn’t like I was the most important person, no. But what about mom? Didn’t she matter at all? This was her party! We were supposed to get the VIP treatment!

But whatever. It was chilly outside, but weather was nice. It was bright and sunny. Worst thing I could say was the chill, but considering we landed the jet not far outside of the tall building called a diner. It was already taller than most diners I’ve seen in my lifetime, not that I’ve been to many diners; greasy food just wasn’t my thing.

The building had at least three floors, and while the exterior was a nice mahogany shade, I wouldn’t be surprised if someone mistook it for gold. Yes, it was like viewing a tall mansion or a royal palace.

I guess Hera would want that royal treatment, but seriously? Why does a diner have to be this flashy?

“I sense hesitation, Hestia, dear. There should be none of that. This is a time of celebration,” Hera nudged me. If she nudged any harder, I might have had a hernia.

Hera had that white hair with curls look that you might have seen in other older, affluent women. She claimed she was “strawberry blonde” but bitch, I saw no strawberries in that hair of hers. She liked to walk as if she was on her way to a business meeting, and stood at 175cm. Her nails were crooked, in a downward droop, and painted a milky pink color.

I had no idea what mom saw in her.

“I’m not hesitating, miss new mommy. I am simply admiring the place,” I corrected her.

If anything could be said about me, it was that I was the oldest of my siblings, and thus, the wisest. In other words, I was the most mature. I made sure to keep my shiny blonde hair straight at all times. In at least one of my pockets, there was a brush and/or comb. I never left home without it. There was nary a blemish upon my face, save for the freckles which surrounded my cheeks, which some people have mistaken for chicken pox. Those people were fools and uncultured.

Everyone, all four of us, had large, puffy gray overcoats. It was only appropriate in the current weather. Once we were inside, we’d have to dress down, but until then, even a few minutes outside meant that keeping warm was most important.

“I can’t wait. I hope there’s plenty of hot guys,” Aphrodite, my girlfriend, rubbed her smooth sienna hands together. Oft, for as elegant as she was, she liked to coat her hands in cheese puff dust, and I’d have to remedy the situation by applying hand lotion.

“That’s not why we came here,” I reminded her. She was one of those easily distracted people, like a bee in a greenhouse. Whenever she saw someone attractive, I had to put a metaphorical leash on her.

“Right. We came here for the free food,” she nodded. At last, she understood. I knew she had it in her.

“That is right.”

I’ll be honest: when I first met Aphrodite, I wasn’t impressed. I had my day off from floor planning at my architecture job and decided to visit a farmer’s market. I even volunteered to load and unload some crates for certain booths, because that’s the kind of person I am. I spent all day just being a saint and doing all that I could to get into everyone at the farmer’s market’s good graces.

Meanwhile, there was a buzzing fly hovering around several booths. And by ‘fly’ I meant ‘approximately 167cm beautiful woman with a dark brown mullet and rich brown skin with a low cut V-neck denim t-shirt (no bra, this detail is important) and a plaid mini-skirt’ and by ‘hovering’, I meant, ‘leaning against each stall and flirting with various men and women while lifting one leg behind her and failing to impress anybody’.

I was next to a truck, and there should have been no way for her to see me. I was inconspicuous, as I had made sure to wear a monocle and top hat that day, so anyone who knew me wouldn’t recognize me. Of course, I saw her, and I saw many flashes of her panties. For the most part, I ignored her (and said flashes) as I’m sure everyone else was doing the same. I will be the first to admit, I may have had some stigma in my mind, as while I wished not to shame her for her appearance or mannerisms, I did have such thoughts like:

I bet you’d look much better without panties on.

Seriously, if she wasn’t going to wear a bra, what was the point of wearing panties?

Anyway, I wasn’t turned on, and I just did what I was doing. Somehow, she found me, as if I was a buried treasure.

“Hey there, sweaty,” I heard someone nearby croon.

I can ignore this, I thought.

“Oh, sorry, I meant sweetie,” that same person nudged the side of the truck and the truck vibrated with such a force that I dropped the crate I was carrying on my foot.

“OWW!” I screamed.

With rage, and almost tears in my eyes, I turned to the menace who caused me such distress. Some carrots fell out of the crates. Those carrots meant nothing to me.

Before staring into her neon purple eyes, I wanted to yell at my tormentor, shove her to the ground, and pummel her. But once I did so, I knew I was defeated.

I wiped the sweat off my forehead and with the most heavenly voice I could muster, groaned:

“What do you want?”

Now, needless to say, I was not wooed by any of the pickup lines that I dare not repeat. She was very direct, too, about how horny she was and how she wished to strip for me and become a wet mess (‘cleanup on aisle 3,’ in her own words).

I think the reason we ended up going out was because weeks after, she kept following me around and begging me to make her mine. While any sane person would have gotten a restraining order, I had a different idea: what if I put a collar and leash on her and made her my pet?

For the record, I’m still sane. Just practical.

“I could go for some hot guys,” Hermes nodded along. He walked behind Aphrodite and I (I didn’t bring the collar and leash, for mom just didn’t understand. Still, I knew I could get her to behave as long as I brought treats) with his hands on his hips. Something told me that were it not for ruining perfectly good clothes, he would have ripped the sleeves off his overcoat just to show off his muscles.

Hermes wasn’t a very bright brother. Not to say he was dumb, just that his expertise lie not in academics. He liked to strut and walk tall, but he was only 155cm, and the third shortest of the Root family (Demetria still took the cake at 147cm). I was the second tallest, at 170cm. Log, who our family could never seem to get in contact with, but he liked to leave clues in the mail that he was still alive, was the tallest, at 190cm.

Hermes had small, brown curly hair. Chubby cheeks. He was something like what the kids nowadays called a ‘short king’.

“Hey, I’ll help you look for some,” Aphrodite nudged Hermes.

I rolled my eyes.

“Why don’t you just make up with your boyfriend? There are more important things than not skipping leg day, you know?” I suggested.

Apparently Hermes and his boyfriend, which I knew not his name because I cared not for such trivial affairs, got into a fight over something fitness related. Since then, they’ve been ‘on break’, but as far as I was concerned, they were still officially together. I saw no reason for Hermes to buzz around other guys when he was still in a relationship, the specifics not withstanding.

“Aw, you kids are so lovely,” Hera sighed, “I’m sure you can’t wait to be reunited with your darling sibling, Demetria.”

“Oh yeah! I hear she’s gotten swole!” Hermes said with undue eagerness.

“Yes,” I groaned.

I actually was interested, if for nothing more than to meet her supposed girlfriend, Remora.

According to mom, this ‘Remora’ broke Demetria’s heart once, and somehow had the gall to crawl back into Demetria’s short, stubby arms.

If Aphrodite tried that with me, the only way I’d accept her back is if she agreed to sleep on the couch for at least a week and abstained from sex for a month longer than that. Not to mention, she’d have to go without wet food. That meant no ice cream or pudding.

We arrived inside, no more hesitation. If all of us had shades to wear, we would have. There was a coat rack next to the door, and each of us took off our overcoats.

“Aw, look, we’re the main event,” mom pointed to the sign which hung from the ceiling:

‘WELCOME, SEQUOIA AND HERA.’

A little tacky, but it at least showed they had reverence for their guests.

For as many packed seats as there were, I held my objections in. The five of us who entered stood in the middle and assessed the situation.

“Somewhere among this crowd, Demetria awaits,” I muttered.

“Aw, you really do miss her,” mom gushed.

“Of course, she’s my dearest sister,” I smiled, all while scanning the area; wherever Demetria was, a Remora was sure to follow.

“Well, I’m gonna hit the snack bar,” Hermes raced off toward the table far off against the back wall where a cloaked young woman sat behind with a cauldron. Carrots and olives weren’t a surprise, nor was a bowl full of tropical fruits juice, but the cauldron was a shocker.

“You do you, bro,” I waved him off, then continued my search.

“Hun, I’m scared: there’s not many guys around,” Aphrodite whispered in my ear.

“So? There’s plenty of hot women. Even if most of them are taken, you can still mingle. Flirt to your heart’s desire. Just remember who your owner is at the end of the day,” I smirked. She licked my cheek and ran off.

There was a large redhead whose hair went down to her ankles with her legs on the table and several chicken drumsticks on a plate beside her. Men and women crowded on the seats beside her. She was loud, with a booming voice, and talked about ‘conquering Ottawa’ or something. I seriously doubted such a boisterous and annoying woman was Demetria’s girlfriend.

At another seat were two tall ladies: one blonde with red streaks, and another with an almost bald head (shaved black hair). The almost bald one was to the right of the blonde one. And, to the right of that buzzcut lady was a third lady: one with pigtails. In other words, my cousin Juniper.

Juniper and her wife had their heads rested on each side of the almost bald lady’s shoulder.

“Well then,” I huffed.

“Look at them, hun: all these people. Here to witness our love,” Hera had one arm around my mom’s shoulder while she used the other arm to hover over the mass of people in attendance.

I bet most of these people don’t even know who you are, I thought.

“Hey mom. Hera,” greeted the voice of a pipsqueak. The three of us (mom, Hera, and I) turned and saw Demetria, the short, green haired menace with her wavy green hair, form-fitting black shirt, and leather shorts.

“Ahem. I’m here, too,” I placed my hand on my chest and smiled.

“Right,” Demetria turned to me and looked up, “snooty bitch. What’s up?”

My blood boiled, but I kept it in. There were more important things than getting into a fight.

“So, where’s this girlfriend of yours? Or did you make her up?” I asked.

Demetria’s eyes shifted around.

“She’s..uh...in the bathroom. Probably.”

“Right. You know, you could just admit that she’s imaginary. No one’s going to look down on you for that.”

Mom scowled.

“Can you two PLEASE be nice to each other just once?” She asked.

I fluttered my eyelashes.

“What could you ever mean, dear mother?”

“Oh, dearest Demetria, how wonderful it is to see you again!” Hera looked like she was ready to drop on her knees and squeeze Demetria tight.

“Yeah. Hi,” Demetria shrugged.

Please, Hera. You act like you adore my sister more than you do my mom, I thought.

Some tall woman (I suspect about as tall as Juniper’s wife) walked up behind Demetria. She was muscular and wore a cardigan, as well as ripped jeans. Totally unwise attire. Unlike the buzzcut lady between the two wives, the tall woman had red hair in what I suppose some called a ‘pixie cut’.

“What’s going on here?” The redhead asked in a gruff voice. “Heard someone was picking on my Demetria.”

“Your Demetria?” I raised an eyebrow.

Demetria’s jaw hung low and let out a half-moan as if to protest.

“Yeah. I’m her girlfriend.”

“Oh, nice to meet you,” mom held out her hand. “You must be Remora.”

Demetria’s girlfriend [citation needed] shook mom’s hand.

“That’s...uh...yeah,” Remora (doubt) replied.

“Come on, you aren’t really her girlfriend. You look too good for my sister,” I argued.

“Oh, no, if anything, Demetria’s too good for me,” the supposed girlfriends pulled Demetria in and squeezed her tight, “isn’t that right, babe?”

“Uh…” Demetria gave a concerned look upward, but when she faced me, her expression changed to a smug one, “that’s right. You really doubted I could pull someone as cool as her? Ha.”

Hera and mom walked away with a smile, seemingly pleased to meet Demetria’s girlfriend. I still had my doubts, and as I walked away, I heard something which confirmed said doubts:

“Why did you cover for me?” Demetria asked in a low voice. “You don’t even like Remora.”

“I just didn’t like the way your sister was talking shit about you. I wasn’t about to stand for that. Anyway, I’m going to sit back down. Cybele reserved a bowl of shrimp for me and we’re going to feed it to each other.”

“Intricate rituals and all that,” Demetria muttered.

So that confirms two things: 1) Remora was real. 2) That redhead wasn’t Remora.

Hermes

Olives, olive oil, olive bread, garlic, garlic salt, garlic bread. All of those things got shoveled into my chiseled jawline.

Many, many cheeses lined the snack tables. Ricotta, cheddar, reblochon, mimolette, provolone. Those too met my insides.

“Hello, good sir, I see you found your way to the snacks,” came an utterly mysterious voice. Enchanting. Like an old witch in a 90s RPG.

I looked up to see a cloaked young woman sitting in a chair behind the snack table. She had a ladle in her hands.

“Yes, I have. And you are?”

“I am the witch, Hecate. I have procured many potions for this ceremony. Would you like to drink one?”

“Um. Are they safe?” I asked.

Look, I’d drink lots of stuff: protein powder, testosterone, grapefruit juice, goat milk, you get the idea. But “potions”? Nope. Never once tried that.

“They’re only as safe as you believe them to be. Is there something you might wish for?”

“Well...the relationship with my boyfriend’s kinda on the rocks. I’d like us to patch things up,” I confessed.

“I see. Please describe how you met your boyfriend and what the problem may be.”

This’ll sound really weird, as she was no doubt no therapist, and I didn’t believe in some new-age occult mumbo-jumbo, but to hell with it, I told her what the problem was.

“His name is Keto. We met at the gym one day. He agreed to spot me while I bench pressed. We ended up bonding over our love of muscular men. Next thing you know, we took turn carrying each other home. I didn’t even know I liked men before I met him, but I won’t say I ever felt anything toward women, either. Mostly, I liked being fit. Keto’s been skipping leg day at the gym in favor of baking bread, and while I’m happy for him, I’m sad for his legs. I told him as much and he said we should take a break from dating. So here we are.”

I didn’t say all that much, but Hecate’s head drooped down and it looked like she was nodding off. She jolted her head up, and with wide, blue eyes, answered:

“I think I have the potion for you, traveler.”

She reached down and pulled up a vial which contained some kind of thick, red liquid. One wouldn’t be blamed for mistaking it for blood. However, I noticed what looked like small orange bits, and clear, white flakes, as well as what seemed to be eggshell noodles.

“Again is this safe?” I asked as she reached the vial out to me.

“It is. Or your money back.”

“I swiped the vial from her hand. I couldn’t argue with that logic. Or, I could have, considering I didn’t spend any money, but at the time, it seemed like a pretty good deal, and I drank that shit right up. It tasted like…

“Hey, is this minestrone?” I asked after chugging the whole thing down. No doubt, there was a distinct smooth tomato flavor to the whole thing. Not to mention carrot, onion, and spice.

“That it is, good customer,” she smiled.

“I’d recognize that taste anywhere.”

“You have good taste, customer.”

“Yes. Minestrone is one of my favorite potions! In fact, I’m sure things will work out with my boyfriend now that I drank that! Thank you, wonderful witch.”

“ASSISTANT!” Shouted Hecate, the helpful witch.

I turned to my right and saw a girl with long, brown hair pass by, although I couldn’t get a good look at her face, as she held a wooden cutting board in front of it.

“Look at me, assistant! What if I faint on the job?” Hecate shouted once more.

The brown haired girl lowered the cutting board and I saw an olive-skinned young woman with watery eyes and her cheeks turned red. Her lips quivered.

“Please don��t use that against me…” The shy young woman groaned, while looking down and off to the side.

“We may have started sharing a room again, but you still haven’t touched my boobs!”

“I thought you didn’t like that!”

“I like it when you do it!”

Should I be here right now? I wondered.

“I guess we have a lot to talk about…” Proserpina sulked, then wandered off.

Hecate turned back to me.

“Sorry you had to see that, good customer. As you can see, there has been some business ‘complications’ as of late.”

I just laughed.

“Sounds like you two could use some minestrone as well.”

“Oh ho ho, believe me: we’ve been having nothing but minestrone these past few days.”

I waved goodbye to her and wandered off. There wasn’t any specific goal in mind, but when I saw a familiar pair of blonde pigtails seated at the end of one of the middle tables, with two tall women to her left, I knew I had to jog over.

“Yo! Cuz!” I greeted.

All three women looked up. I backed away one step. I only meant to get one person’s attention, but I suppose something like that was inevitable.

“Who talks like that?” The one in the middle, with a buzzcut (or pixie cut) asked. “I get ‘bro’ or ‘sis’ but what’s this ‘cuz’ business?”

“That’s because he’s one of my cousins,” Juniper explained.

“Just how many do you have?”

“I don’t know, but at least four, since Demetria and her siblings count. This is Hermes,” Juniper pointed to me, then gestured to the buzzcut lady, “and this is Rachel.”

“I am at the moment,” Rachel said.

“Just what does that mean?” I scratched the small bits of brown hair I had atop my head. I may have been balding or something, but I wasn’t worried about that. I still had plenty of hair on my chest and legs.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“And this is,” Juniper gestured to the one staring wistfully out the window.

“Oh, I know. That’s the wife.”

The wife, Ves, looked my way with a perplexed expression.

“The wife? Is that all I am?”

“Pretty much,” Rachel replied.

“Et tu?”

“You know, I could stab you at least 17 times if you’re going to imitate Caesar.”

Ves dropped her head on the table and groaned.

“I see your posture hasn’t gotten any better, either,” Rachel continued to berate poor Vesuvius.

“They’re fine. Probably. Just some healthy banter,” Juniper explained.

“Yeah. No one needs to get rushed to the hospital. So what do you want?” Rachel turned to me.

“Oh, I just came by to say hi,” I scratched the back of my head and grinned awkwardly. I didn’t know what else to do.

“Hi. You can go now.”

“Hey! Stop being rude!” Juniper scolded her.

“I’m not being rude. I said hi. That’s all he needed, right?”

“That’s right. There’s plenty more people here, and besides, I wanna see what my lil sis is up to.”

“Probably no good, if you ask me.”

“We’ll see about that. Well, nice to meet you, Rachel.”

“Was it?”

“I’m not sure, but so long!”

I hurried off, though as I did so, I heard Rachel say, “why do people say ‘so long’? What is the long thing being referred to?”

“It’s just a way to say goodbye,” I overheard Juniper explain. “And what about that ‘I am at the moment’ thing?”

“What? It’s just like what I told you. When we’re not at home, I should be Rachel. I still can’t be certain I don’t have enemies.”

I shuddered. Just who was that Rachel person and what relationship did she have with those two?

Nope. None of my business, I decided.

I was only a mere fitness instructor. Just like when I was in the track team in high school, I knew to stay in my lane.

As I walked away, I failed to notice what, or rather, who was in front of me, and I bumped face-first into a wide figure.

“Oh, sorry about that!” Said a soft-spoken man in his thirties.

He didn’t look much unlike me, except taller and wider, with a bit more of a belly on him. He also had a more full head of hair, with his fuzzy brown hair.

In other words,

“Oh, hey other cuz!” I greeted.

“Hermes, was it?” Trent, the brother to Juniper, and thus my other cousin, asked.

“Indeed it is! So how are things with your boyfriend, cuz? Y’know, Fern?”

Trent reeled back a little.

“Ugh...how do I say this?” He explained and looked off to the side in shame. “We broke up months ago. He kept wanting to have sex, but it was always at such inconvenient times, like when I was in the middle of a boss fight in one of my RPGs.”

“Oof.”

“Well, it’s not all bad. We’re still friends. I guess he’s dating a guy named Shrub, now.”

“Always those silver linings, huh? I’m still with my chunk of meatloaf, Keto, but we’re not exactly doing so hot at the moment.”

“Aw. Wanna talk about it over some beer? I already met Ray, the owner of this place, and he serves some of the best drinks I’ve had.”

Now, I wouldn’t classify myself in the alcoholic camp, but I was known to partake in some liquid courage from time to time. There was only one traumatic experience I had, and it was when I chugged down a bottle of tequila before going for one of my morning jogs. Needless to say, I’m not sure why I thought that would ever be a good idea.

“Sure thing!” I smiled, and the two of us walked over to embrace some good spirits.

Sequoia

If you think my life’s gone by pretty fast these past few months, you wouldn’t be the only one. I went from lonely without so much as a ferret to my name and only the occasional calls with Hestia (who I knew wasn’t as kind as most of the family thought, but she’s still one of my kids, and I still liked to hear from them) to finding a new love, getting married, and having a ferret which my new wife and I named Ares.

Quite a rush, right? And to think, I only happened to meet Hera due to going to an exhibit on ancient Greece at my local museum. I believe I was staring at a vase which displayed imagery of Apollo parading around a group of rats, when an elegant looking woman with a lace gold dress walked up to me. She had her hair all puffed up, and she kept patting it down, even as she spoke.

“Fancy cookware, huh?” She asked.

“Cookware? I don’t think they cooked with this. It was probably meant to store wine in,” I suggested, and looked up, already captivated by her beauty. Her skin was cracked in such a deliberate manner that even her wrinkles seemed to dance about in a rehearsed manner. Her crow’s feet served just to highlight her beauty, and the bags under her eyes gave off a shy impression, as if to distract the viewer away from her serene green eyes.

Ahem.

“I bet it held so much wine, too,” she crooned.

“Ah. Do you like ancient artifacts like this?” I asked the stranger.

“Some might call me an artifact,” she boasted, or at least I think that’s what she was going for. “But to answer your question, I’m interested in history, not necessarily the material. Don’t get me wrong, I have all sorts of decorations at my mansion, but the only one I see any value in is the text I have by Pliny the Elder.”

“YOU know Pliny the Elder?!” I gasped.

“Not personally. I may be getting up in age, but old men aren’t my thing.”

I laughed. That was meant to be a joke, right?

“Miss madam, would you give me the honor of creeping behind you while you partake in the exhibit? And then, maybe afterward, we could converse about our discoveries through a nice cup of espresso, no?”

I laughed again.

“Sure. But just know, if I find anything particularly interesting, you’ll have to listen to me talk about it for several paragraphs.”

“I would expect nothing less, madam.”

Maybe a little vain, maybe a little out there, but she was quite polite, and well-informed. Sometimes, when I would go over something in mythology, she would add onto it something I hadn’t heard before.

So naturally, we ended up going to a cafe afterward. Or rather, there was a cafe in the museum already.

We talked, and when she told me her name was Hera, I’m a little bit ashamed to admit that my inner fangirl jumped out. Yes, I knew she wasn’t the actual goddess, but then she mentioned having previously been married to a guy named Zeus, and then I gushed harder. I mean, say what you will about King Womanizer, but that god sure was a force of nature, huh?

Anyway, to make a long story less long, some other things happened and she moved in with me. Yes, you heard right: I could have moved with her to her mansion, and we did visit Olympia, where her mansion was, too, but we decided on a compromise, and she bought us a penthouse apartment. There was some downsizing to be done, but she had no problem with it.

The only thing was, I didn’t even know I’d be marrying someone rich.

No, there was another thing: we were already married by the time she proposed throwing a party to celebrate our marriage. Our whole thing was less than a wedding and more of signing of papers, as she already said she didn’t feel like being too flashy, so when she announced her plan, I guess she must have had a change of heart.

I wouldn’t have gone along with it, but I did want to see Demetria again, and her ever elusive girlfriend, Remora (to be fair, I guess they only just started making it official). Not to mention, I was curious to meet Ray in person, since we had only talked a couple times before on the phone.

So there we were, standing in the middle of a crowded restaurant/hotel in what was once a diner. So many conversations going on at once, all filling my ear, but no specific words registering. It was nice to see so many people getting along, but I wish I knew more people. It was hard having all these faces around me, but so few familiar.

At one table, I saw two young women, one with short white hair, and the other with long and thick brown hair. They looked like a young Hera and I. The white haired one was shoving a pile of waffle fries into her mouth, and the brown haired one was taking individual fries from the white haired one’s plate.

Hera pulled me close to her. Perhaps she sensed my uneasiness.

“Look at all these people,” she gestured, “and they’re all here to witness our love.”

“I bet most of these people only came here because they heard there was a party,” I looked up at her and sneered.

She ruffled up the top of my brown hair, stacked in many buns, and just like that, the tower of buns was toppled.

I turned my head behind me and saw a child with red and orange striped hair in a mullet run around. She stopped in front of Aphrodite, Hestia’s girlfriend, and Aphrodite crouched down.

“Hey, wanna see a magic trick?” Aphrodite asked.

“Sure!” The child roared and held her hands up like they were claws.

Aphrodite dug into her pocket and pulled out a quarter.

I looked away. I already knew what the trick was going to be. The old ‘quarter behind ear’ trick.

Imagine my shock when a minute later, and the kid went, “ooh! How did you do that?”

I guess classics are classic for a reason, I thought.

The tip-taps of footsteps behind me and a poke on my shoulder as if a spider had landed on me and I leaped up, only to turn around and see Aphrodite herself.

“Hey, Miss Sequoia,” Aphrodite said in a rather quiet tone, like she was all nervous. Quite the contrast from her otherwise flashy appearance (plaid skirt, thigh high rainbow socks, a button down denim shirt).

“You can just call me Sequoia, you know. Mom is fine, too, seeing as you two have been together for a little while.”

“Heh. Momquoia,” she twirled her hair and giggled.

“Okay. Please don’t call me that.”

“I wanna tell you a secret before Hestia comes over, okay? Mom-quoia?”

Great. Now she’s using a hyphen.

“Yeah. That’s fine. I don’t know how reliable I’ll be, but you can tell me anything.”

“Well...I don’t actually flirt around with a lot of people. I do like talking to people, but from day one, the only person’s attention I was trying to get was Hestia’s. I’ve heard about her before from a friend around town, and how she had this chaste and pure image, and how she turned a lot of people down. So I thought it would annoy her if I acted like the opposite of that.”

“I see. Why go through all that trouble, though?”

“Well,” she raised her index finger, “one relationship, right before Hestia, I was with a guy who didn’t pay attention to me. It worked out pretty well at first, since I get turned on when people ignore me or are annoyed by me, but then he just went on like I didn’t exist at all, and it went from a turn on to just lonely. So I told myself the next person I’d find, I’d get them to pay attention to me, even if I had to repulse them to do so.”

“That’s not a good way to go about things, though.”

“Oh, I know. But she likes to punish me, so I just go along with it. It works for me, because I do like being punished by her. That said, I’m not into pet play like she is, I’m just turned on from the fact that she’s turned on by it.”

“So you’re turned on by your acting? Or that you’re putting on a convincing performance?”

“Mm...something like that? I’m like a magician that way. I know a few tricks here and there. She may have leashes and collars and handcuffs and all sorts of goodies, but what she doesn’t know is that I’m something of a Houdini.”

“Knowing my daughter, she probably knows you’re not really into it, but is turned on by the fact that you act like you are anyway,” I suggested.

“Regardless, it’s clear she shows her true self to me,” she put her palm over her chest and smiled wide.

“Mom…” Came a longing plea from behind Aphrodite. I looked over Aphrodite’s shoulders and saw Hestia, with pursed lips and crossed arms.

“What is it, dear?” I asked.

“I keep asking around where Remora is and no one’s been able to give me a clear answer. I tried asking Rachel and she just went on and on about fish, which didn’t help at all.”

“Who’s Rachel?”

“Nobody important,” Hestia waved off.

From further away, someone leaned cupped their hands over their mouth and yelled: “GOOD ANSWER!”

I’m guessing that was Rachel.

“Mm. I asked Tigershark,” Aphrodite added in, “that’s the kid that’s been running around and cooking yummy food, and she says Remora’s around but probably not out here right now.”

“But I want to meet her!” Hestia whined.

“Is it really such a big deal? She’s Demetria’s girlfriend, not yours,” I asked.

“Yeah, I’m your girlfriend,” Aphrodite reminded Hestia.

“It’s not a big deal, no, but I want to know what she’s like. Is she real or not? Is she around or not?”

“Well, if others besides Demetria say she’s real, isn’t she real?”

“She could be like a Santa Claus thing,” Hera suggested. Doubtful, but we were up north.

A door creaked open, and all four of us turned to our right to see two figures emerge. First, Demetria, and half of another figure, about a foot taller than Demetria, leaned against her.

“Easy does it,” said Demetria.

The taller figure’s face became more visible as she stood out from the kitchen. She had black hair with faded, blue streaks in her hair styled as a bob cut. Her frame was wide and muscular, and she wore a black spandex uniform, with a puffy, blue and white overcoat over said uniform. Her pants were indigo colored and thick. Her walks were stilted, and she leaned her arm against Demetria’s shoulder from time to time when her balance looked off, but mostly, they walked beside each other.

“This is pretty easy, huh?” The tall one asked Demetria with a raspy voice and a cracked smile.

“It ought to be. It’s been a couple weeks now, hasn’t it?” Demetria wheezed out as the tall one pressed down on her shoulder once again.

I turned and saw Hestia, stood as a stone, all wide-eyed as well.

“Who is this? She looks similar to Rachel, don’t you think?” She asked.

“I don’t know. She looks like a less white Tigershark, if you ask me,” Aphrodite chimed in. I couldn’t tell if it was one of her ploys or if she seriously believed that. Guess that’s the magic of someone who claims to be a magician.

“I think you need your eyes checked,” Hestia scoffed.

“Huh? Rhe...Rachel is here?” The tall one gulped.

“Probably because Juniper and Ves are here,” Demetria didn’t sound too interested.

“Hey dear,” I called out to Demetria, and she looked up.

“Oh, right. Uh. This is Remora. The real one,” Demetria took a step back and held her hands out as if she was a game show host and introducing the prospect of a brand new car to a contestant.

Remora, the real one, I guess, wobbled about, but took a wide step forward and leaned a little to the left and was fine. Aside from the wincing and hissing noises she made.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine. I just had surgery a couple weeks ago because I got stabbed in the chest with a very large blade,” Remora explained, her tone a little dismissive about the whole thing.

“Uh. Actually...it was breast reduction surgery!” Demetria contradicted.

“No, it wasn’t. If you’re going to lie, you should at least consult me first so we can agree on a lie together.”

“Well, it’s nice to finally meet you,” I held my hand out. Remora looked down, gave it a little shake. Not anything strong or weak, just playful.

“You must be the mom.”

“Sure am.”

“And I’m the other mommy,” Hera also held her hand out and stood up straight like some some kind of statue.

“Oh, yeah. You’re the reason this whole thing’s going on, aren’t you?” Remora looked around the room. “Bit ridiculous if you ask me, but that’s life for you.”

“Hey, so if you’re Remora, who was that red haired person?” Hestia demanded, hands on her hips.

“I guess that was me too. I’m multiplying.”

I could at least see why Demetria might be into someone like Remora. She seemed...odd.

“Say, you’re not going to go breaking my daughter’s heart again, are you?” I asked.

Remora put her hand on her chin and hummed.

“Ma’am, I’ve done many stupid things throughout my life, and I’m sure I’ll do many more.”

“Amen,” Hera clasped her hands together and said as if in prayer.

“How does that reassure my mom, or anyone, in any way?” Demetria looked up and asked.

“I don’t know,” Remora shrugged. “I’m fresh out of witty romanticism. Just walking around is tiring.”

“Go on, sit down and be merry. Both of you,” Hera grinned in a way that reminded me of a beaver, what with two of her teeth sticking out.

“It’s gonna hurt sitting down.”

“Yeah. You really don’t know what a chest is good for til you hurt it,” Demetria sympathized.

“I really need to treasure my chest.”

Hera

Let’s get the show on the road, shall we?

Ignore my dear Demetria resting her head on Remora’s shoulder. Yes, love is a sweet thing. But lemons are sour, and much more worthwhile to take a bite into.

“So, hun, should we sit and share a meal as well?” My dear Sequoia, the tree that I chose to plant myself on, looked up and asked me.

“No,” I shook my head, with utter regret. “Save that for the falling action. Right now, I’m ready to climax.”

“You’re WHAT?!”

I clapped.

It drew a few eyes toward me. I couldn’t tell from which way, only that there were some eyes on me. It wasn’t enough.

I cupped my hands together and yelled: “ATTENTION EVERYONE! I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT!”

The room turned silent. If I lost my composure for even a second, the draft from the chill outside may have crept its way into my skin. I could not falter.

Before I could speak, however, a hand shot up from one of the tables behind me. I only noticed due to my keen peripheral vision and my remarkable vibes.

“Yes?” I turned around and addressed the one with the hand.

Said hand belonged to a rather tall woman, perhaps as tall as myself, perhaps taller. That, I could not say, as she was sitting down. She had shoulder length, straight blonde hair, similar to me, although I wouldn’t call strawberry blonde (and she had a brighter shade of orange in her hair, while mine was just a faded glory). Her face was that of stone, and despite my royal presence, she seemed no more impressed than if I stood like a lowly peasant.

“Excuse me, who are you?” The statuesque blonde asked, and although her face still looked serious and unimpressed, her voice was quite soft, and showed no hostility.

“Of course. This is a grand opportunity for you, peasant! For you see, my name is Hera Root, and I am the current wife of Demetria’s mom, Sequoia.”

“Oh, okay,” she shuffled her way out of her seat, “good announcement. I’m going to go now.”

She walked away and headed past me toward what I could only presume was the kitchen.

Well, what a fascinating creature that peasant was.

I coughed into my fist. Some would call this “clearing their throat.” I didn’t care what it was called. It sent the same message across: that I held the floor (figuratively speaking) once again.

“I’m a former assassin, one whose dark endeavors could be spun into tales to scare children to behave. I was quite cruel and brutal, but then I met Sequoia, and her kindness won me over and showed me the light. Now we are married, and all I need is her love,” I held my hands out and presented Sequoia in all her glory.

“Whoa, there!” She took a step back, ever the bashful wife, “don’t worry, guys! She only means ‘assassin’ in the loosest of terms! From what she’s told me, she just did a lot of odd jobs around her community when she was younger! Hera’s truly a saint, trust me!”

Her nervousness was on full display as she waved her hands about every which way and her knees wobbled as if she were ready to collapse. Being put on the spot must not have been her strong suit. Oh well, leave that to me.

Another hand shot up before I could continue my grand speech. Such a pity. I had at least two thousand more words rehearsed in my head.

This hand belonged to another tall (from what it seemed, but she too was sitting down) woman, who had sat beside the blonde who left for the kitchen (perhaps to snack in secret). This woman looked near bald, save for some black saplings of hair which took root atop her head. It must have been a stylistic choice, but let’s not dwell any further. Her expression, too, was just as stony, but perhaps more chiseled like a marble sculpture, than the blonde lady. She shivered about, even with her sharp, to the point, look about her.

“Yes, you, the shivering puppy,” I pointed to her.

“Yes. I have a question: who the hell cares?” She asked with a sharper tone that I was expecting out of her. Yes, her expression was already sharp, but I expected just as much sharpness as the other lady had afforded me.

“Only anybody who’s important, of course,” I said, tall and proud. No one so rude, with so much disrespect, would bring I, Hera, down.

“Yeah. That’s not me. I’m out, too.”

She got up, and walked past me just like that previous lady did, with just as much disregard for my importance. How impudent.

I looked around. I knew how to ‘read a room’ better than I knew how to ‘read a book.’ It was clear that others had become skeptical of the presence I had graced them with. Despite being the very reason for such a gathering, they seemed to have little interest in whatever else I had to say.

“Oh, whatever,” I surrendered to the crowd (as every queen should every now and then), “eat, drink, be marry!”

Everyone cheered and clapped, as if it was the most sensible thing I had said all day (such utter disrespect). They returned to their jollies and gorging their bellies. I suppose that, too, was satisfactory.

“Aw, don’t take it too hard, hun,” Sequoia reached up and gave me a pat upon the shoulder, “it just happens that many of these people have just as colorful personalities as you.”

“Heh,” I snickered and grinned. Another thing I knew was how to ‘save face,’ even though I knew better than to be trusted to ‘save lives.’

“I can humble myself every now and then,” I replied, “the fact that so many people gathered and are enjoying themselves, regardless of whether they care for the reason, is enough to be proud of.”

“Nothing gets you down, does it?” She smiled back, “I’m going to spend some time with my kids, and maybe meet some new people along the way. I also haven’t seen Ray or Sunny all night. I’d love to meet them.”

As wonderful as a thought as that was, there was one thing that got me down: Zeus, my once husband. We weren’t in contact since I shot his knees, and his dick, for good measure, but just thinking about him left a sour taste in my mouth. To think we once took great pleasure in taking many men and women into our beds, and yet when I wished to settle down, he wouldn’t extend the same grace.

I sighed a weak, pathetic sigh. It was a relief Sequoia had already walked away not to hear me make such a sound.

I too should do some exploring, I decided, and headed toward the window which overlooked the kitchen.

As I crept to the thin window, I overheard the two ladies speaking amongst themselves.

“Dare me to spike Hera’s drink?” The blonde asked, standing near a cup of tea with some powder in a pouch in her hands.

“Do it. ‘Former assassin.’ Who does she think she is?” The other, near-bald one, asked, while sitting atop the counter near a microwave.

“I know, right? People who think they’re self important for no reason annoy me to no end. Still, couldn’t you have at least pretended to be polite, like I did?”

The near-bald one shook her head.

“It takes me effort for me to be passive-aggressive than it does to simply be aggressive.”

The door burst open; I ducked, but still peeked my head through the window.

A shorter woman than the other two, with two long, blonde pigtails, stormed in.

“Hey, what do you two think you’re doing?!” She shouted.

“Don’t look at me, I’m an innocent bystander,” the near-bald one answered.

“I heard everything! Do not go poisoning her!”

The tall blonde ducked her head down in shame.

“I was just going to use a laxative powder. A little bit of irritable bowels never hurt anyone, right?”

“I mean…” The near-bald one replied.

“Behave, both of you! This is a family gathering!”

“Yes,” the other two groaned.

They walked out of the kitchen. I must admit, I found the whole exchange amusing.

When I caught the eye of the imposing, near-bald woman, she stared me in the eye with an intense gaze.

“Sorry about my rudeness. I’m sure you were joking about that assassin thing,” she let out a rush of cool air with her words. It was...refreshing.

“Oh, no. I was serious. I used to kill people,” I reassured her.

“Right. You must have made a killing off of that.”

“Indeed.”

“What kind of fantasy world am I living in?” She shook her head. I could see she was still skeptical, but such was the price I paid for being fabulous. Not everyone could see my sincerity.

“What about you? What do you do for work?” I asked her.

“Me? I live on a hippie commune with my weed smoking girlfriends.”

“Did you have any job before that?”

“I used to clean messes.”

“Ah. Like a janitor?”

She shifted her gaze around before returning it to me.

“Yes,” she answered, before walking away with the other two.

Interesting. Now that I think of it, you do bear a striking resemblance to that Remora lady, I noted. Such precise wording, even if she were to deny it. I can’t wait to meet up with Ray.

That would have to wait. I noticed someone, alone at a table.

“There’s two of them…” The stranger muttered, with her short, but fluffy crimson hair, and her hands over her head, with her head face down.

“Two of what, dearie?” I asked the stranger. She looked up, confused and startled.

“You’re Hera, right? Congrats on your marriage.”

“Ha! It’s nothing!” I waved my hand away. “Now what were you muttering about?”

“That too, is nothing. Just like I’m hoping that assassin nonsense was,” she glared at me. Just like that near-bald lady did. Sheesh. What an uptight crowd. You’d think they’d be more open to that sorta thing.

“Please. You heard the wifey. I just have that sorta...je ne sais pas...eccentric way of speaking. Ya dig?”

She shook her head.

“Whatever. As long as you’re not bad right now, I guess it’s none of my business.”

“That’s the spirit!” I gave her a few intense pats upon her head before departing. She tried batting my hand away, but I was too swift.

“Hey! Who gave you permission!?”

I whistled. I wasn’t a very good whistler, but I was good enough to ignore the protests of others.

There were two points of interests: one, the table where Demetria, and her beau, Remora, sat together and shared a bowl of miso soup. The other, Sequoia chatting about with a lean, bespectacled black haired man of mediocre height and a tall, muscular women (what’s the deal with all the muscular women? Lean women are just, fine too, I’ll have you know) with big, curly dark brown hair tied up in the back.

“Oh Ray, you’re just as funny in person as you are over the phone!” Sequoia laughed.

“He is, isn’t he? Sometimes I talk to him on the phone while standing next to him for maximum funny!” The woman beside Ray joked.

Wait. That’s Ray? That unassuming man?

I too spoke to him on the phone. If not for his establishment, there would have been no party. I had many a reason to speak with him.

But then...Demetria. My precious daughter-in-law.

Forgive me, wifey.

I raced over toward where Demetria and Remora were seated.

“My, you two look so adorable,” I cooed.

“Thank you for that,” Remora was the one to reply. I would rather it had been Demetria, but I wouldn’t say I didn’t find the one with the chest pains interesting as well.

“Won’t you give your dear mommy a hug?”

“If I wanted to do that, I’d get up and hug her,” Demetria retorted.

“Oh, boo-hoo. You still don’t consider me your mother? Is this the woes of the in-laws I’ve heard so much about?”

“No, Hera. It’s because it’s you.”

I made whimpering little puppy noises, to no avail. I truly was the most miserable, yet fabulous woman on the planet.

Admitting defeat, I turned my attention to the beau.

“You really are quite lucky, you know that?”

“I know,” Remora reached her arm around and pulled Demetria in tight, “I just hope I can continue to do right by her.”

“You’re honestly fine,” Demetria mumbled. “I’ve done plenty of stupid things to you, too.”

“And I’m sure you will continue to do so,” she smiled.

They’re almost too cute. This is going nowhere.

“When I first met Demetria, I was really impressed with her skills. She could become an assassin if she really wanted to,” I informed the paramour.

“I know. She can be anything she wants to. I truly believe that.”

“What would you do if she decided to become one?”

“I would support her, even if I don’t think it’s a good path for her.”

“And why not?”

“Because a life full of killing...that’s no way to live, in my opinion. I want her to enjoy her life, and I know her well enough to believe that she wouldn’t enjoy her life that way. Still, it is her right to choose her life.”

“How kind of you.”

“Hera, I know you’re just trying to get a reaction out of her,” Demetria said without lifting her head or opening her eyes. “It’s true I taught myself to be violent, but I would rather protect others’ lives than take them. I already felt horrible when I killed once. I don’t want to be that kind of person who sees that as an option for every situation. The life I’m living right now, with the people I care about, that’s what matters to me.”

“I see,” I bowed my head and smiled, “I must respect that.”

“And please, don’t tell my main mom about the things I’ve been involved with. She doesn’t need to know.”

“Of course.”

I walked away. Those two were quite the match, whatever match that happened to be. I suppose I had no place to try to steer them in any sort of direction.

Our little celebration was coming to a close. Soon we would have to call curtains on the whole thing. True, many of us would be spending the night here, and some lived here already, but the main event was just about over. There was no reason to call encore.

The only thing left was to speak with Ray and his beautiful wife. Send a message to the couple who helped put this whole thing together.

I walked over to where Sequoia was. Still chatting it up with the couple of all time.

“Why hello,” I greeted the couple.

“Oh, hey, hun, this is Ray and Sunny!” Wifey announced.

“Pleasure to meet you, Sunny,” I held out my hand.

Ray took it instead.

“Pleasure’s all mine, ma’am,” Sunny said in a rather gruff voice.

“And it’s nice to meet you as well,” I looked into Ray’s eyes.

“Oh, don’t mention it,” he laughed.

With my free hand, I pulled a small envelope out of my pocket. I handed it to him, and he took it with his other free hand. It was like we were playing a game of twister standing up.

“Enclosed is a large sum of cash for your trouble.”

“Why thank you. You’re always welcome here as a guest, you know. You and your wife. I’m always saying how much of a treat it is to have Demetria here.”

“That’s right. He’s always saying this,” Sunny nodded along.

“Is he really?” I raised an eyebrow.

“No, not really,” Sunny shook her head. “But just for a second, you thought he did, right?”

The four of us laughed.

What Sequoia didn’t know, and what Ray would soon know, was that the envelope didn’t just contain cash, but also a single page of vital information pertaining to an old friend of his. It was for Ray’s eyes, and not mine, nor the wife’s. Let him be shocked in his free time.

So it would go that many of us stayed the night at Ray’s establishment. In the morning, some of us departed by way of Cybele’s plane, while the wife, and her two kids, took my very special private airline.

[thebigshotman]

(GOD. -Does your muse believe in a god? If so, describe it.)

“DAMN.”, THESE ARE SOME GOOD QUESTIONS

…It’s been a complicated situation over the many “eras” of his life.

The closest to a religion Darkners have is their worship and servitude towards Lightners, so as an Addison that was who White typically considered to be a “god”. It helped that they rarely clicked on his ads or checked out his store, so the ones that did interact with him were treated extra specially. Even if their deal fell through; that was how in awe he was of them.

This kind of went away when he became a Big Shot. In fact, he pretty much abandoned all notions of any higher power except “Mike”, though he never viewed him as a God.

Instead, that honor went to the abandoned robot husk of a suit a Lightner and Swatch made one day that ended up being discarded in the basement of Queen’s mansion. He viewed it as a gateway between the Light and the Dark, and therefore a vessel for godly power, as it was something from the Light existing, albeit abandoned, in the Dark. That was why he prayed to it so frequently when things started going downhill: He was praying for “divine intervention” from Angels of the Light/Lightners.

That failed, of course, and he became what he is now. In this current state Spaul has pretty much given up on the existence of any higher power shaping the universe-except for the Knight, of course, given that they’re the custodian-type guardian of the Dark World. But they’re more of an equivalent to those neutral gods and goddesses in mythology, like Hestia from Greek Mythology, to him than an outright God.

And then, of course, there’s “Mike”. Given how all evidence points to him being the one who turned him into this, Spaul believes he’s a higher, Godly power more than he ever did before. But he’s definitely not a benevolent God, whatever or whoever he really is, or so he believes.

[royal-wren]

12, 13 and 20 for the asks! :)

✨Polytheism Asks!✨

What has been your favorite interaction with a deity so far? HMMMMMM... This is kind of a hard one as there are a hell of a lot with some being pretty spicy/personal. If I absolutely had to pick one it would be my birthday last year as it was a very special moment for me given that I was around a decent number of deities at once and the feeling was so warm. It was just super nice to finally have that introductory moment between the deities I've been around a lot and the ones I've wanted to meet or haven't met yet. I could go into details for all the names, but it'd be an overwhelming list so I'll just keep it to my highly honored but never were in the same area until then list of Zeus, Hera, Demeter, Hestia, Athene, and Hephaistos.

What is your favorite devotional act? Mine tends to be charity work, I really like helping others in any way I can, and knowing how important it is in Hellenic polytheism came together like chocolate and peanut butter. I don't really tend to have money to give so usually it's just my time and energy that does into it. Otherwise, I'm definitely warming up to taking care of myself and home better than ever lately because of them. My mental health has improved greatly and I'm regaining passions again with their help, and in turn, my passions go back towards them.

What’s something new you want to try in your worship? I wish I had an answer to this, but unfortunately, I do not. The only thing that comes to mind is reaching out to other deities and adding them to my worship but I just did that this morning and won't be adding anyone else for now. P.S. It's Hestia and Athene as I said goodbye to Ares for now, the hug from Ares was smothering borderline crushing but oddly wholesome btw.

[sunfragrence]

starting with offering to Hestia first and last, does this mean you should offer two items each time you pray? if i decide to worship more than one god, is it possible to pray to them as a group or should i say small prayers to each of them? i don’t want to ask the gods for things besides to stay with me, give guidance and to thank them for being around. (things change but this is for now). just to add im also not in a safe enough household to be open with my worship so offerings will have to be smaller, i read that incense and candles are better than nothing.

these may be a bit of redundant question(s) but i’m neurodivergent and rlly need things broken down and i haven’t been able to find the answers. sorry for asking so many lol

Hi sweetheart!! Please don't feel bad at all for asking many questions, it's totally fair. I will do my best to answer! Starting with your question related to Hestia, the act of thanking her and lighting a flame in her honor is what I personally do before any sort of offering, no matter who it is for. Unless you specifically wish to make an offering to her, you do not have to offer anything twice. She is of the hearth and flame, and you can think of it as her guiding your words and love to the gods through her fire, whether that be incense or a lit candle! <3 It can even be the candle you have dedicated to a specific god. What I do is thanking her as I light the candle, and then continuing with praises or hymns for the god the candle is for. You can absolutely pray to the gods as a group! Keep them in your heart and say whatever words you see fit, and that will be more than enough. Sometimes if I truly want to go above and beyond I will say individual praises for each god I wish to compliment, but this is by no means a requirement, and none is better than the other. With this is mind, any kind of offering you can give is worth so so much. Even "just" water or a cool leaf you found on the ground. It is not the material matter that is important, but moreso the love and thought you put behind your offering. Never be ashamed of what you can give, and know the gods are aware of your situation. They would never expect more of you than you can give <3 I hope this answered your questions, and feel free to reach out if there's anything else on your mind.

[miscellaniousbyblue]

Okay but literally I had a classmate who was arguing with the teacher about write-ups because she was never told that she was written up for being hostile (according to her she just asked the teacher for real due dates and test dates so they wouldn’t be random, but after being in class with her for nearly my entire high school experience I would assume she yelled at him about it) and after bitching about anything, everything, and nothing for four years nonstop (she signed up for the voluntary AP Literature and Composition class, and spent her first two weeks in that class, which she chose to take and has both comp and honors alternatives, complaining that analyzing literature is stupid and doesn’t matter and nobody cares. I have literally never heard a word out of her mouth that wasn’t a greeting, an answer to a question (like when she compared herself to Hestia her freshman year during a unit about Ancient Greece because of how “motherly” and “kind” she was), a complaint usually in the form of a rant that will go on as long as she has time, or an argument or something to feed said argument. And in this argument, she starts complaining about how she was a good and nice person and they could have had a rational conversation about this write-up had she known about it, immediately followed by her decision to never change herself because she’s happy with how she is.

I, being the only one left in that class other than herself and the teacher, nearly got up and left several times during that class, and I’m fairly sure the only reasons I didn’t were because I had my phone to distract me and I knew there was only like three minutes left of class

meanest person you've ever met: i'm so sick of being nice

[westofwyeast]

Praxis Diary #1 - 1st of Maimakterion, November 15th, 2023 - Noumenia

Morning

Prepared Honey Cakes for Noumenia

Placed one honey cake on the altar as an offering today.

Asked Hermes to watch over me before heading out to drive to Portland for the first time in my stick shift (thinking of calling her Misty because she does need a name).

Afternoon

Set up my first ever Kadiskos for Zeus Ktesios. Placed on altar for permanent home at the time being. To be emptied at Hekate's Deipnon at the end of this month.

Evening

Shortened form of the Orphic hymns evening ritual from Hellenion, with the aspect of the morning ritual (honoring the gods of the specific day) thrown in.

I like the full rituals, but I'm struggling with it, because it can eat a pretty significant chunk of time reciting every hymn of the day. I think I may need to use it more as a guideline to help assist me in honoring the gods on their proper days and in rotation, but I am full of doubt about the sustainability of the full morning and evening rituals long term.

I do want to keep doing the full hymn To Hestia, or at least something close to it, as an opening though.

Prayed to Apollon Agyieus (Apollo of the Streets and Highways) and Hermes, asking for their help and kindness in regards to my travels back and forth to work this coming month. I have promised libations of oil and wine to them both for this aide.

Tucked a small portion of a honey cake into the yellow transparent apple's branches. Fed a small portion to my dog Kai, and ate the rest of that particular cake.

[kitspindles]

Some Nico Facts (Canon)

this is going to be long i’m sorry

His birthday is January 28th, making him an Aquarius (This is the only one where I can’t find an “official” source, but literally everywhere online is in agreement that his birthday is 1/28, so take that as you will).

According to his shirt in The Hidden Oracle, he listens to The Ramones

Also the subject of shirts: introduced in the Trials of Apollo, Nico has his own Camp Half-Blood T-shirt but in black, with a skeletal pegasus on front and Cabin 13

His signature aviator’s jacket-- it’s gone. After the fight with Lycaon in The Blood of Olympus Nico had to discard of the jacket because it was shredded. In the following book, The Hidden Oracle, Apollo’s narration places him in a black leather bomber jacket.

According to Apollo, Nico’s hair smells nice? (”His hair smelled like rain against stone... a pleasant scent” (The Tower of Nero, p. 261).

Nico’s smile is described by Apollo as “a bit of winter sun breaking between snow flurries” (The Tower of Nero, p. 102).

He’s able to travel through dreams and leave messages for people that way. Although it’s not fully explained in the books, I can only assume it’s due to the nature of mythology and abstracts/metaphors/whatever: Death and Sleep are very close— basically only separated by a beating heart really— given that Thanatos and Hypnos are twins.

Coach Hedge is his favorite/preferred satyr ( “I’d settle for Coach Hedge.” Nico pushed Will’s arm off. “Besides, don’t talk about Grover too loudly. Juniper’s right over there” (The Hidden Oracle, p. 157).

Despite being 10 years old, untrained, and completely unarmed at the time, he told off a full-grown manticore for being rude to Bianca (The Titan’s Curse, p. 18).

Although he burnt up most, if not all, of his physical Mythomagic cards, he still plays the game online

Examples:

“He was throwing pieces of paper into the fire-- Mythomagic trading cards, part of the game he’d been obsessed with last winter” (Battle of the Labyrinth, p. 40).

“Hades: Every time I try to speak to this boy, he has his face buried in his phone, “text messaging” that glowy boyfriend of his. And not to mention all that time he spends playing that internet card game...” (via the interview “Navigating Family Reunions With Nico and Hades” on the ReadRiordan website).

Aside from his sisters, Jason and Reyna were the first people that he was able to find a friend in and trust wholeheartedly as allies. Not even Percy achieved that honor until the very end of the series

Examples:

“She gave Nico a big hug and the crowd roared with approval. For once, Nico didn’t feel like pulling away. He buried his face in Reyna’s shoulder and blinked the tears out of his eyes” (The Blood of Olympus, p. 477).

“’That’s-- that’s fantastic! Dude!’ Jason opened his arms for a hug, then froze. ‘Right. No touching. Sorry.’/Nico grunted. ‘I suppose we can make an exception.’/Jason squeezed him so hard Nico thought his ribs would crack” (The Blood of Olympus, p. 485). Jason also told Leo off when he compared Clytius the shadow giant to Nico (“‘Any kind of light just gets sucked into his cloud of darkness.’/‘Sounds like Nico,’ Leo said. ‘You think they’re related?’/Jason scowled. ‘Hey, man, cut Nico some slack’” (The House of Hades, p.322).

Nico traveled through Tartarus alone and survived. And he’s willing to go back a second time to rescue Bob/Iaptus the Titan.

He’s a friendly and caring individual despite his appearance and initial attitude toward others (which is decidedly a defensive tactic since other campers and even Percy, by his own admittance, were generally creeped out by him).

Examples:

One of the first demigods in many years to pay any notice of the goddess Hestia

Visited Bob the Titan in the Underworld when no one else did

Assured Reyna that she didn’t kill her father and was a good person, didn’t want her to feel worthless

Respectful of the Trogs and their general weirdness

“‘Meg,’ Nico said. ‘Take my chair. Your leg looks bad’“ (The Tower of Nero, p. 81).

“I don’t like it when people are overlooked” (The Tower of Nero, p. 377)

Indirectly responsible for helping Percy and Annabeth make it through Tartarus. If he hadn’t been the one to visit Bob and tell him how kind Percy was, would Bob have leapt into literal Super Hell and assisted them?

In the Trials of Apollo series, Apollo/Lester is one of the first people who looked at Nico and decided that, hey, he’s a little weird but he’s alright. Up until this point readers have only ever been told, or alluded to, the fact that everyone else saw Nico as something to be afraid of (keep in mind he’s like 14/15 years old).

Just as integral in saving the world in the Heroes of Olympus series as the Seven were. Same deal as in Percy Jackson and the Olympians-- he was able to convince Hades to bring his forces to the aid of the gods, which was able to turn the tide in the gods favor

He’s fully capable of being a normal teenager; he’s not some eternally brooding figure that hates everything. He has interests and a sense of humor. He doesn’t dislike fun, and he doesn’t completely dislike the company of others, either. It’s just that with all the trauma of being a child of Hades and prophecies and war… it wasn’t really the time or place. It’s hard to thrive and be yourself in an environment that constantly beats you down and makes you feel less than worthless, even more so when you don’t have a friend to fall back on. He didn’t feel comfortable anywhere, especially not during his time on the Argo 2. And remember, we didn’t get his PoV until The Blood of Olympus-- up until that point he was really just a side character. Whenever another character (aside from, like, Hazel) spoke about him from their PoV it was always in a bad light: how he was frightening, how they were scared to go anywhere alone with him, etc., etc.) Take away the pressure of two back-to-back wars and his discomfort with his sexuality (or even, gods forbid, finally give the guy is own chapter perspective) and he’s actually a certified goofball just like the rest of the demigods.

Examples:

“‘Getting some redecorating ideas?’ Nico asked. ‘Maybe you could do your dining room in medieval monk skulls’” (The Blood of Olympus, p. 146).

“‘No need for threats,’ Nico said. ‘Frank’s a good guy. Or bear. Or bulldog. Or--’“ (The Blood of Olympus, p. 479).

“‘I hope I’ll see you again?’/’Oh, you will,’ Nico promised. ‘I’m going to be the flower boy at your wedding, right?’” (The Blood of Olympus, p. 480).

The whole “you’re not my type” thing

“Significant annoyance” quip

Nico “I have a doctor’s note” di Angelo (”’Will, Kayla, Austin,’ I said. ‘Come with me’/’And Nico,’ said Nico. ‘I have a doctor’s note’” (The Hidden Oracle, p. 322).

“Nico commandeered a dispenser from the snack bar and carried it around, yelling, ‘The line starts to the left! Orderly queue, guys!’“ (The Hidden Oracle, p. 351).

Basically the whole scene with the Trogs in The Tower of Nero

“William Andrew Solace” full-naming

“Debbie Downer”

“Nico laughed, which I didn’t know he was capable of” (The Tower of Nero, p. 130).

That part in Camp Half-Blood Confidential where he did a warbly rendition of Apollo’s song from the terrible orientation film. To the tune of “The Hokey Pokey.” Hand-claps included. With a small audience present.

That whole FAQs section on page 140 of Camp Half-Blood Confidential with Annabeth, Percy, and Nico. Trust me.

He found Hazel in Asphodel because he went to find Bianca and bring her back while Death was missing (Son of Neptune).

He cares for Hazel deeply. During his talk with Hades in The Blood of Olympus, his first concern was that she was the one of the Seven that was destined to die. At the end of the book he kisses her cheek (other times too) and tucks her into bed after she falls asleep (“‘Yeah, go.’ Nico kissed her cheek, which Piper found surprising. He hardly ever made gestures of affection, even to his sister. He seemed to hate physical contact” (The House of Hades, p. 318).

Arguably one of the strongest demigods of their/our(???) time. He shadow traveled himself, two other people, and a huge statue across the world in about a week’s time. He turned Bryce Lawrence into a ghost and banished him to the Underworld in like five seconds. He turned a guy into a skeleton and then turned right around and was able to control it. Same with that cow thing in The Tower of Nero

Hades is proud of Nico (“Send in a real hero, like the di Angelo kid” from the back cover of The Tower of Nero. Also, he literally says it in The Blood of Olympus on page 149). He wants him to be happy.

He knew about both camps and traveled between them for nearly a year without telling either side.

This kid knows stuff. Obscure stuff. Annabeth isn’t around? Don’t worry, Nico probably knows. Those shaggy cow things in Venice? Katoblepones. From Mythomagic, ofc. “Troglodytes don’t exist, they’re a made up myth!” Nico says otherwise. He knows them personally. They’re having brunch on Tuesday. Next question. The location of the Doors of Death? Covered. Take a left at your nearest hell void (or maybe don’t).

There’s probably way more but this is already like half an essay (I somehow didn’t mention Will at all in here oops) The bulleted list formatting never made it out of the post editor I’m sorry

Edited: added some more small ones that I forgor