#honey’s words
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stabyou · 2 years ago
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some days i do feel like envy in his little tiny grub form from fmab. i just want love and i’ve been treated so badly by myself and everyone around me and the WORLD even that i have become so bitter and cold and jealous and i hate it. i want the love everyone else has so bad it makes me ill. but i can’t find it because i’m so closed off due to past trauma and friendships that ended badly. too scared of ridicule, too scared of being unliked, too scared of being anything besides what i am now, which is completely alone and devoid of any real human connections. anything else feels like knives. i cant be close to anyone because i feel like i’m putting a burden on them.
my existence is a burden. to be my friend, to be close to me, is a burden that is insurmountable. i wish i could be okay with the loneliness. i wish i could be okay waking up to nothing on my phone. i wish i could be okay without people thinking of me. but i want the warmth so badly. that’s all i’ve ever fucking wanted and i never got it. ever since i was tiny and begging my mom and dad to stop fighting. there was no time of softness for me. i just want to fall into love like a pillow. friends holding a cake that says HAPPY BIRTHDAY (i have never had a single birthday party) and we watch movies and play games and i don’t wonder where the love is for me.
i don’t think i’ll ever be brave enough. so alone i have to be. i’m really sorry to myself for this. i wish i could be stronger and reach out, but my arm is cut off at the crook. i cant reach any farther, i don’t have anything left to give.
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life-spire · 7 months ago
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feral-ballad · 1 month ago
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Linda Pastan, from Insomnia: Poems; “Sex Education”
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mischievous-thunder · 2 months ago
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Poor little emotionally stubborn feral old kitty :"3
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 2 months ago
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All he knows is flirt with men and lie.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
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spielzeugkaiser · 1 month ago
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[Prev] Geralt is a wonderful poet…
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asoftepiloguemylove · 5 months ago
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THERE'S ALWAYS MORE // ON HEALING
Mandy Hale // 小年的你 Better Days (2019) dir. Derek Tsang // Molly McCully Brown "Poetry, Patience, and Prayer" from Places I've Taken My Body // B.N Pressman Stories of My Childhood // Karin Hadadan Little Moments of Joy That are Actually Big Things // Aftersun (2022) dir. Charlotte Wells // unknown // Patrick Ness More Than This // unknown // Honey Boy (2019) dir. Alma Har'el
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septemberkisses · 6 months ago
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On Fathers and Rage: Collected Works #2
— me and him, on two opposite ends.
Excerpts from:
Mouthful of Forevers by Clementine von Radics • Pinterest • Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz • Vader en Dochter: Waarover Praten Zij? by Scheveningen 1999 • Pinterest • Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur • I hope this reaches her in time by R.H. Sin • Doomed From The Beginning by @/veniennes on tiktok • Lyra Wren • Woodtangle by Mary Ruefke
(read part 1 here)
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vampyfrnk · 4 months ago
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happy birthday ray toro! - july 15th, 1977
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artkaninchenbau · 1 month ago
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For the record, I did figure that out a long time ago, it just gets funnier the more time passes
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stabyou · 2 years ago
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thinking abt how back in the day (like 10 years ago. i am getting old) my therapist at the time thought i had BPD before i mentioned to him about my bipolar, and even suggested i go seek further help to discern whether or not i have it... the reason i was told as to why i wasn’t ultimately diagnosed is that i don’t have issues with narcissism/self-grandiosity, and that my mood swings fit better under my bipolar label. but i have every single other symptom, and when people talk about bpd i find myself relating so much more than just a surface level. i mean. i thought i had it when i was a teenager and tbh it’s only gotten worse so... hm
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eefrostpoetry · 1 year ago
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i've written to many love letters to you and not enough to myself
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igixri · 1 year ago
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girls night :)
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literaryvein-reblogs · 3 months ago
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Word List: Honey
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beautiful words with "honey" to sweeten your next poem/story
Honeybee - a honey-producing bee (genus Apis of the family Apidae)
Honeybell - a citrus fruit that is a hybrid between a tangerine and a grapefruit and that has a reddish orange rind and orange pulp and a prominent, rounded neck giving it a bell-shaped appearance; also called Minneola tangelo
Honeyberry - the fruit of either of two trees having sweetish berries: an Old World hackberry (Celtis australis), or genip
Honeyblob - gooseberry
Honeycomb - to penetrate into every part; subvert, weaken
Honeycreeper - any of numerous small bright-colored oscine birds (especially genera Cyanerpes and Chlorophanes) of tropical America; also: any of a family (Drepanididae) of often colorful oscine birds found only in Hawaii
Honeycup - sensitive pea
Honeydew - a saccharine deposit secreted on the leaves of plants usually by aphids or scale insects or sometimes by a fungus; also: a pale smooth-skinned winter melon with sweet greenish flesh
Honeydrop - a drop of honey or something like a drop of honey in sweetness
Honeyeater - any of a family (Meliphagidae) of oscine birds chiefly of the South Pacific that have a long extensible tongue adapted for extracting nectar and small insects from flowers
Honeyflow - a supply or period of availability of floral nectar suitable for bees to convert into honey
Honeyguide - any of a family (Indicatoridae) of small plainly colored nonpasserine birds that inhabit Africa, the Himalayas, and the East Indies and that include some which lead people or animals to the nests of bees
Honeying - to speak ingratiatingly; to flatter
Honeyless - lacking honey
Honeymoon - a period of unusual harmony especially following the establishment of a new relationship
Honeymouthed - sweet or cajoling in speech
Honeymyrtle - an Australian tree of the genus Melaleuca
Honeypot - one that is attractive or desirable; a substantial source of money
Honeysuckle - any of various plants with tubular flowers rich in nectar
Honeyvine - sand vine
Honeywood - a Tasmanian shrub (Bedfordia salicina) of the family Compositae having white foliage and heads of yellow flowers
If any of these words make their way into your next poem/story, please tag me, or leave a link in the replies. I would love to read them!
More: Word Lists
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sicknessinmotion · 1 year ago
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FATHERS ARE A KIND OF MONSTER
unknown author // richard siken // honey boy (2019) // clementine von radics // interview with richard siken.
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siren-of-agony · 11 months ago
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Answers to "please stop"
No.
I can't.
I won't.
I don't want to.
I don't know how.
I will soon.
But then how will you learn?
We're almost done.
It's almost over.
Ask me again!
Oh well, if you're asking that politely…
Fine. For now.
Only once I've come up with something more fun.
Only once you've come up with something more fun.
Or what?
I know you can go a little bit longer.
You know I won't.
I love it when you beg.
I hate it when you beg.
I'm so bored by your begging.
Not until you're too weak to ask me to.
But I don't have anything better to do.
I wish I could.
Alright! See? All you had to do was ask nicely.
I'm not doing anything.
What, exactly?
Just once more, I promise!
Just once more, I promise! (🤞)
You're doing this to yourself.
You wanted this.
You want this.
You know you made me do this.
Are you ready to give me what I want, then?
I will once you give in.
What will you give me in return?
Why should I?
You know there is only one way to end this.
You know there is only one way this will end.
(Answers to "it hurts")
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