#honesty without compassion is brutality
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sasomienspegel · 1 year ago
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Gladioli 21:12 / Until My Scales Dry
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burst-of-iridescent · 5 months ago
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i really hate it when people act as though zuko is being selfish or self-serving in some way when he tells aang in the finale that the only choice he has is to kill ozai because a) at this point, zuko is right and b) zuko's brutal honesty here is coming from a place of fear for both aang and the world.
are we all forgetting that unlearning his own idealization of his father and realizing that ozai never had been, and was never going to be, the person zuko thought he was, was a significant part of zuko's own arc? it took him sixteen years to understand that giving ozai any grace or understanding or forgiveness was a mistake, because it would be just another tool for ozai to manipulate him with. and that's not zuko's fault, because he was an abused child growing up in an incredibly damaging environment, but it does make sense that he doesn't want anyone else, especially aang, doing the same thing.
zuko is harsh on aang here because he sees in aang the person that he used to be - the innocent, naive kid who wanted so desperately to believe that ozai wasn't a monster, that there was any shred of humanity within him at all to be appealed to. it's not a coincidence in this show so rife with parallels that aang goes to face ozai at around the same age that zuko has his agni kai. and what did it get zuko, when he threw himself at his father's mercy and counted on ozai's non-existent humanity and compassion to save him?
zuko isn't coming down hard on aang because he's angry that "aang won't do his dirty work for him" or whatever other bullshit version of this argument i've seen zuko antis make - he HAS to impress upon aang how dire this situation is because he knows better than anyone that believing for even a second that ozai can be redeemed is incredibly dangerous. aang cannot give ozai an inch because it will only be used against him (and indeed, this does happen in the final battle when aang turns down the opportunity to redirect lightning at ozai and in return ozai presses his advantage to the point where aang would almost certainly have been killed if not for rock ex-machina).
furthermore, this idea that zuko wanted ozai dead for self-serving reasons doesn't really have much basis either, because if that was the case zuko could have just killed ozai himself during the solstice. he doesn't because at that point, he still had an alternative: aang (and you'll notice his word choices never explicitly refer to what ozai's fate will be; it's only "i'm going to help him defeat you" or "taking you down is the avatar's destiny"). as with many abused children, it's likely that zuko himself didn't really know if he wanted his father dead, but when it came down to the final battle without any other viable options presenting themselves, it was something he had to resign himself - and aang - to.
zuko himself does not lack faith in others (in fact, his whole journey is about understanding that his love for and belief in humanity is a strength, not a weakness) but he's learned the hard way that having this faith in the wrong people can result in devastating consequences, especially when the stakes are so high.
i imagine it terrified zuko to see the echoes of his younger self in aang, knowing he's sending him to face his father at the height of his power. at this point, with no knowledge of energybending or any alternative way to defeat ozai, well aware that a fight with his father can only end in bloodshed, zuko has no choice but to give aang the reality of the situation: kill, or be killed and doom the world alongside you.
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pilot-boi · 11 months ago
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What’s an interesting way you could make Jaune a “villain” or take a dark turn while staying true to his character flaws?
Well generally the easiest way to turn a character into a villain is to take their virtues and exaggerate them until they become flaws, and take their already existing flaws and strengthen them even further
So for Jaune I’d take his anger issues and blow them up ten fold, especially his tendency to speak without thinking. This takes him from mean to needlessly cruel, from snappy to cutting down people with words as sharp as razors. Plus he’s already a big guy, so if he actually USED that size while he was angry he’d actually be really scary
His speaking without thinking could also be twisted to cruelty even when he’s not angry. Casually cutting people down with brutal honesty, backhanded compliments, the whole nine yards
As for the virtues to flaws, the most obvious one is his loyal and protective nature. But when exaggerated, loyalty becomes obsession, protective becomes possessive
But another one that could easily become sinister is Jaune’s tactical mind. Jaune’s tactics tend to take the simplest and often shortest route between problem and solution. So with a twisted moral compass leading him, it wouldn’t take much for his tactics to become “The ends justify the means,” usually enacted with brutal efficiency
So now we’ve got a guy who can go from smiling to raging at the flip of a switch, who is violently obsessed and possessive of the people he deems as “his” all while verbally cutting down THEM and everyone around him, who is also a tactical genius willing to do whatever is necessary to achieve his goals
How’s that for a villain?
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floridaboiler · 5 months ago
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Open Letter from Dad to Son
Dear Son,
I love you. There are some things my father taught me growing up that I have the honor of now passing down to you. Below is a list of life lessons he taught me mixed with other lessons my path has given me. Read them, think about them and use them to help guide you through your life…
– The golden rule “Treat others how you would want them to treat you” and your loved ones. – Our actions will always speak louder than our words. We must be an example of what we say.
– Give. Give as much as you can. Give from your heart. Give without the need for recognition.
– Be Humble. Let others talk about your success, not you. People appreciate Humble. Being Humble will make it much easier to handle the ups and downs life will give you.
– Girls are special. Treat them with respect at all times. Open doors for them. Pull out the chair for them. Give them flowers just because. NEVER forget special occasions!
– No matter someones ethnicity, athletic abilities, religious beliefs, political beliefs, where they live, what they wear or what they look like, they are people. Treat them with respect.
– Surround yourself with people of integrity.
– Be a leader. Be an example. Always use your critical thinking skills to come to your own conclusions.
– You will come across many different attitudes in your life. Learn from them about the type of person you want to be and the type you don’t want to be. They all have a purpose.
– Find ways to make a difference in the lives of others. Lift them up. Help them believe in themselves and remember a thousand words of encouragement can be ruined by one belittling comment.
– Beware of your pride and ego. You must control them and not let them control you.
– Take charge, don’t wait for others to do things for you. Success is dependent on YOUR attitude, effort, creativeness, consistency, work ethic, perseverance/grit and trustworthiness.
– When you fail, and you will fail, don’t get bitter, find ways to get better.
– When problems occur, before blaming and making excuses, you must look in the mirror first. Evaluate your actions and choices with sincere honesty. Be accountable for your actions and decisions.
– When everything around you is chaotic, you must be able to keep a clear mind to make the right educated decisions. Practice this often. Breathe.
– Hate will take years off your life. It clouds our judgement and prevents us from seeing the whole picture. Beware of this powerful emotion.
– Protect your family and never be afraid to stick up for others. As much as we don't want to believe it, there IS evil in the world. Always be on your toes.
– Be fearless, be thoughtful, be kind, be passionate and be grateful everyday as tomorrow is NEVER promised.
– When you speak, speak with compassion AND brutal honesty. Sometimes it’s hard to do and difficult for others to hear but necessary for transparency and sincere relationships.
– Stay off your phone while driving. NEVER follow the car in front of you too close and always be aware of what others are doing around you.
– Your mother loves you more than you can imagine. Never fail to realize how much she has done, and does, for you and your brother and sister. When you are out on your own, make sure to be in touch with her often.
– The biggest test for you one day will be when your own child is born. It will test your mental toughness. It will test your relationship. It will force you to really grow up.
– Clean up after yourself, take care of yourself, eat right, make exercise a part of your life, do household chores and push your chair in.
– Never underestimate a firm handshake and eye contact.
– THE most important and toughest job you will have in life will be raising another human being. You will make mistakes but the most important part is learning from them so you can one day teach your own children from those lessons. You are a blessing. I am excited for what lies ahead for you. Life is precious and we never know how long we have. Make the most of what it and enjoy every minute. Son…I Love You. Love, Dad
source - https://x.com/BaseballDudes48
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staticflood · 23 days ago
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---SPOILERS FOR SHADOW GENERATIONS---
Ok so hear me out.
I think all these npc choices are meaningful. Showing different ways Shadow lives/thinks or *could* live and think. Think of Shadow 05.
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Orbot and Cubot are very simple characters and this game if recall correctly is the first one they've ever been in without Eggman. Which isn't too notable, but it does speak to the one nature of their characters. Mostly in that they serve Eggman.
Sonic Battle was one of the games that touched on this aspect of Shadow's character a lot too. His use as a tool, a weapon to be aimed. He is treated this way by Eggman too, in SA2, Heroes and Shadow 05.
Orbo and Cubone don't really have a place in the story. At this point in Shadow's arc, he is very much assured of his autonomy.
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Big The Cat is a phenomenal character, and I will not hear otherwise. He embodies one of the core themes of not just the series but Sonic and Shadow specifically. To live freely and do as you please.
Shadow is defined by making his own decisions. Living by his own code. Big the Cat is him fr.
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Shadow throughout this game displays his mean streak. You see him about to explode in anger for the whole first half, and while it slows down in the second half because of Maria, it never goes away. Omega feeds into it like a bonfire so they're best friends.
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And friends is a good word. Omega isn't a one-note murder-bot. He's relieved when Rouge is safe. He tells Shadow about how he trusts him. This anger and violence are part of Shadow, but they still leave room for love and compassion.
Shout out to E-123 Omega being the funniest guy in the room in another game btw. Long held record.
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Maria and Gerald are very interestingly framed in this game. Shadow's first instinct on seeing them is to protect them. To save them from whatever impending disaster is coming. In what is a very character defining play, Shadow ignores this, squashes it immediately. There's something bigger going on here. And only when he sees them again, the big bad is out of the way does it all come back. That hope, that dream...
Talking to Maria throughout the game does a great job painting a picture of The Ark without the grief-stricken lens of Shadow and Gerald. We get to see the center of a tragedy talking about her home.
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Maria shows so much love and honesty that you can see why the grudge about her fate lasted so long. She becomes such an emotional battering ram for Shadow all while she's just happy to talk to her friend.
And interesting point to note, at many times in the game, Maria is horrified by the anger that Shadow displays. What Omega encourages him to do is unfathomable to her, and hammers the point home for Shadow that he isn't theirs.
Their presence reflects what Shadow used to be. Before all of his mew experiences. Which brings us perfectly into who's sitting between Maria and Omega, Rouge.
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Rouge is beautiful in this game. She Flys in at the last world and becomes an emotional rock for Shadow. And eventually, who he leaves white Space with. Back to the real world.
Rouge represents his current life. His family, the ones who care about him. Rouge offers the love and acceptance of Maria, with a tacit understanding and respect of his power and brutality.
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I love this game. I want more of this. Give shadow his own franchise. Put him in everything. Shadow Frontiers. Shadow Colors. Shadow Spinball
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physalian · 2 months ago
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Character Types: The “Likable Autistic”
Already gave a tiny breakdown of this kind of character in Yet another 5 Character Types The World Needs More Of where I had this to say:
Neurodivergence in media is often the butt of the joke. You like these characters in spite of their “quirks” or you find them incredibly annoying because their “quirks” are their entire personality. Usual representations are arrogant and anti-social narcissists who lack compassion. Shockingly, autism is a spectrum, and a very far cry from sociopathy. No one trait should define an entire character, and that includes neurodivergence.
Best character I could think of that does neurodivergence justice without being “cute” and infantilized is Lilo Pelekai, and I’ve posted about her.
Today I’m going to put my money where my mouth is and break down how I approached this kind of character in Eternal Night, with Markus.
Disclaimer:
He is based off me and my experiences, not meant to be a blanket representation of the DSM-5 checklist of autism, nor did I set out to write an autistic character. I set out to write one who’s neurodivergent, and he happens to be a lot like me, and I happen to have a lot of autistic traits (not officially diagnosed) but also a bunch of others, because he’s a person with nuance, not a walking agenda.
Anyway.
My goal with writing him, first and foremost, was not to make another Sheldon Cooper. One is enough. I wanted a “character who is also neurodivergent” not “the neurodivergent character” and when neurotypical (and usually straight, white, and cis) creators want to check off boxes on their diversity list, they tend to think of the latter counting as the whole personality.
Markus still fits the mold of the quiet introverted smart guy, but he’s capable of empathy, is the voice of reason to counterbalance his love interest’s “feelings first” decision-making, a bit of a badass able to hold his own in a fight, and witty when he wants to be, as not much intimidates him. And he’s gay and demisexual because I felt like it. Special interests? Cats and vampirism.
Without spoiling my own book too much, when I was sending it out to beta readers, I had a few come back who made it clear they did not like Markus and did not understand him. Reader: These were neurotypicals who needed me to slap an AUTISM label on Markus’s forehead to give his decisions a pass. Which, to me, meant I did a pretty good job writing him correctly.
He’s the obligate doctor of the coven, a former mortician’s apprentice who became a vampire to sate curiosity: He wanted to know what death felt like. His room doesn’t have a bed, just sheets in a pile in the corner and the rest of the space taken up by piles of books, various knicknacks to fiddle with, and all his medical tools (his favorite is the stethoscope).
Making him/giving him a love interest wasn’t planned. Things Happened and Opportunity arose to give both a neurodivergent character, and a demisexual character, a happy, healthy, communicative relationship, and I just couldn’t pass it up. Is he wish-fulfillment for me? 100%.
But so many times I see these characters and, if they do even have a romance, they’re always takers. They “take” in the partnership, but have nothing to give back. The writers insist that there’s something lovable about them without actually writing them doing loving things, that their person, usually a woman, tolerates (usually) him, because… she feels bad, or they can’t write women, or she’s settling because she couldn’t get anyone else, or the only thing competent about him is that he’s decent in bed.
Usually he’s rude and selfish and only thinks of himself, and she bends over backwards doing all the emotional labor, all the “adult” relationship things like home keeping, mothering him not unlike the deadbeat “everyman” protagonist. He’ll insult her and play it off as brutal honesty, he’ll only talk about himself and his interests and cut her out of things the second she becomes a hindrance to his plans, and he overshares about their intimacy to friends, oblivious to how embarrassed she is because he doesn't understand that some things aren't meant to be shared (you know this is really starting to sound like a standard dickish man just with an "ND" sticker like that absolves their behavior of any accountability....).
In essence, they’re “together” but only because the writer says so. They wax poetic about how great she is for him, but have zero supporting evidence for why he's good for her (which is a lot of male protagonists, to be fair).
I didn’t want to do that with Markus and his lover. They’re a team, through and through. Markus’s filtered pragmatism is still honesty-above-feelings, but it’s not brutal honesty. He can ignore “feeling” in the name of the logical solution, no matter how unpopular the logical solution may be. His partner, in turn, is aaaalll “feeling” and quickly Markus’s fiercest defender without infantilizing him or belittling him or stepping on his toes. Markus gives back in his own ways, too, in taking meticulous care of his lover’s tools and weapons among other spoilery things.
Being on the ace and autism spectrum is pretty common, not breaking any new ground there, but I thought the combination of Markus being demi and his lover being a sex-favorable ace was fun. When he got nervous around approaching sex, I got to write him stimming with his favorite comfort objects (his various vintage medical instruments), seemingly random different hardlines on intimacy he likes vs won’t go near, how overstimulation can ruin everything, and how one can feel like they’re wrong or broken for not liking sex—in his case, he just took a while to figure out an emotional attachment is a necessary ingredient for his enjoyment (and, you know, somebody who gives a shit and is patient and attentive).
Markus is also in stark opposition to his lover’s other love interest (this book kind of has a love-pentagon going on). He’s mature and independent and knows exactly what he wants in a relationship, to a person who’ll bend over backward trying to make everyone happy at his own expense.
He also is new to this “love” thing and he does have his emotional shortcomings. He's unable to understand why XYZ is so important or so meaningful or why Person F continues to repeat such-and-such behavior that clearly only brings them grief and upset or why Person G continues to shoot themselves in the foot. His pragmatism does come at inopportune moments and it frustrates other characters who aren’t looking for a solution, just room to vent.
Markus doesn’t get a ton of screen time and only a couple narrating POVS, but I took every chance I could get to write what I think is both a multifaceted character and relationship to admire.
Sooooo, if you’d like to read him in full HD technicolor, you can pick up a copy of Eternal Night of the Northern Sky in ebook or paperback.
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persnicketypomelo · 2 years ago
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Can you compare and contrast Leroux!Erik and Musical!Eriks responses to reader seeing them without the mask for the first time, but she’s actually not alarmed and is very accepting? Maybe she gives them a lil kiss of her own volition- thank you!!
Leroux's Erik is much more darker, as in self-harm, but also surprisingly sweet. Well, as sweet as someone so obsessive as him can be.
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This looks like Rachel Barrell and presumably JOJ? I actually love Rachel Barrell, she's one of my favorites. :)
Musical Erik
Both would react with the same fiery temper towards you if you unmasked them by surprise/against their wishes
Musical Erik needs to be able to hold the strings in how you interact with him and perceive him
He will meticulously plan how the two of you are to meet, how much you know about him, when he plans introduce himself in the corporeal form, and even (unwittingly to you) steer your actions when you’re not with him
All of this is to say that he is a complete control freak
And this is one of the main reasons behind his adverse reaction to you unmasking him, even if you have only kind thoughts of what lies beneath
However, if you manage to gently tell him that you do not fear his face, he will not believe you at first
But looking him unabashedly in his eyes with a demure smile manages to convince him that, perhaps, you are not entirely lying
If you kiss him, say on the cheek or forehead to try and prove your point
Well, it is safe to say that he’s flustered
He would tell you it is time to return the surface world, for he feels quite embarrassed and caught off guard by your unexpected…affection
Erik would need time alone to restore his composure
He reaches for his mask, smoothing it upon his face, and suddenly he regains some of his suave self-assured air
At the end of the day, his trust in keeping you within his grasp strengthens, but he is a man who covets control, and even your unexpected kindness cannot do away with this tendency
I think the only time he would voluntarily allow you to take his mask off, for he would never do it himself, is when he's emotionally vulnerable
It is not so much that he feels insecure about his face around you, but moreso that he feels more powerful with his mask on
Book Erik
This scenario really highlights the difference between the musical and book version
His anger is more explosive and more volatile than in the musical interpretation
He claws his flesh brutally, sobbing and laughing in a kind of hysteria
If you turn your head away from the brutal sight of him tearing at his skin, he will grip you by the hair tightly and turn your head to look at him
"Look at Erik...this hideous monster!...Shunned by society, with a face no mother could love!...You just couldn't bear to contain your curiosity, eh?"
But once he heras your cries and begging, he awakens from his reverie and eases his grip off of you
The poor man has no control over his mood-swings
As soon as he realizes he hurt you, he falls to the ground crying and begging for forgiveness
It is hard to convince him that you derive no horror from his face, for he has gone his whole life thinking himself to be unloveable because of it
But once he is convinced of your honesty, he is completely and utterly yours
And the gentle kiss you press to his head makes him fall to his knees
Erik clutches the fabric of your clothing sobbing, for he never dreamed to receive any compassion in his lifetime
And now that you've offered him a piece of your love?
He would kill another man should you so desire
From then on, he leaves the mask all but forgotten
You will catch him very often vying for your eye, like a child wishing for appraisal
Look him in the face and tell him you love him, and he will follow you to the ends of the earth
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trixy812 · 15 hours ago
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006 - Ambushed.
{Erwin Smith x reader}
⁀➴ Content: erwin smith x reader, levi is a really good person, reader is a victim of her own circunstanes, reader!soldier, tw: implied sa, angst, love it is not the end just a part of the story, self-love
⁀➴ Summary: You are recuited by Erwin Smith. He saved you from hell but, you need much more from him.
⁀➴AN: A couple of years ago, I sent this idea as a request, if you see something similar then, you will know it was me who sent it because I do not remember if I did it as an anon or with my username. I like the end of this. Please let me know what you think! :)
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༘⋆📼˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚༘⋆📼˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚༘⋆📼˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚༘⋆📼˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚༘⋆📼˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚
The gray skies and dense air of Mitras District were memories that never left your mind. The day Erwin Smith entered your life, the walls around you seemed to close in and open up all at once. You had been passed from one aristocrat to another for as long as you could remember, treated as an exotic commodity because of your distinctive features that set you apart from the average population. To them, you were nothing more than a form of entertainment. However, that hellish cycle ended the moment Commander Erwin Smith extended his hand to you.
“With the secrets you've overheard, you could change the course of this fight,” he said in a voice that left no room for argument. He knew you had learned more than you ever wanted about the vices, frauds, and conspiracies the elite sought to conceal. It was a recruitment based on your traumas, but to you, it was an opportunity to escape your personal hell and become useful to someone like him.
Since then, you had served faithfully as one of his trusted aides. But your role in the Scout Regiment was unique. Erwin, aware of your past experiences, sent you on covert missions where you used your charisma to secure funding from wealthy nobles and merchants. Though you were aware of the morally gray nature of your tasks, you never questioned them. You were grateful to be useful, to be noticed by him—even if it was in that way.
You admired him, almost to the point of reverence. To you, he was a hero, someone who had given you not only a new life but also a purpose. Over time, however, that admiration deepened into something more. You couldn’t help but watch his imposing figure, his determined gaze, the way he commanded with both authority and compassion. You were in love with him, though you knew he likely would never see you the same way.
One night, after a long meeting, you overheard a conversation between Erwin and Levi. The latter, questioned the commander about the missions he continued to send you on. Erwin’s words sent a chill through your body:
“You know these donations wouldn’t last without her. It’s a necessary sacrifice.”
Your heart sank. Was that all you were to him? A tool to fund his dream?
That same night, after much deliberation, you summoned the courage to confront him. You found him in his office, absorbed in maps and strategic documents. Taking a deep breath, you spoke.
“Erwin,” you began, your voice barely audible, “do I... do I matter to you only for the money I bring to the regiment? Or do I mean something to you as a person?”
He looked up, his expression as stoic as ever. But his piercing, analytical eyes revealed something deeper. He took a moment before responding, the silence between you stretching painfully.
“y/n,” he began, his tone serious yet warm, “everything I do is for the sake of humanity. The decisions I make aren’t always fair or easy. You’ve been vital to our progress, but it would be a lie to say I only value you for that.”
He paused, letting his words settle before continuing.
“You are more than a tool to me. Your loyalty, your courage… they mean more than I can express. But my priorities will always lie with our mission. If that hurts you, I have no right to ask for your forgiveness.”
His words were a mix of comfort and brutal honesty, as was typical of Erwin—a man bearing the weight of the world on his shoulders, unable to fully give himself to anyone, no matter how much he might want to.
You stared at him, feeling a mixture of pain and determination. “If I’m truly more than just a tool to you,” you began, stepping closer, “then I want you to do something for me. It’s the least you can do after all I’ve sacrificed.”
He raised an eyebrow, a mix of confusion and caution crossing his face. “What do you want?”
“I want to spend the night with you, Erwin,” you declared, your tone serious even as your chest tightened with nerves. “For once, I want to be with someone I care about—because I’m always with grotesque, cruel men...” The words spilled out as an emotion-laden whisper. “And if you can’t meet this condition... I’ll leave the regiment.” As soon as the words escaped, you realized the weight of what you had said.
Erwin’s gaze bore into you, as if trying to decipher every corner of your mind. He couldn’t tell if you were bluffing, but he couldn’t afford to take the risk. The regiment depended on you more than he cared to admit.
The silence was worse than any reproach. His intense blue eyes scrutinized you, leaving you feeling utterly exposed. The pressure was too much, and you sank to your knees in front of him.
“It’s not true! I’d never leave the regiment! Please, forgive me, Commander,” you sobbed, covering your face with your hands. “I was an idiot to speak to you like that... You saved me from hell, and I...” Your words dissolved into broken cries.
“Stand up, y/n,” he said, his tone characteristically firm yet calm. His voice was an anchor in the storm of your emotions. Hesitantly, you obeyed, rising to your feet as his hand rested on your arm.
Erwin didn’t look away, and what he said next left you breathless. “What you’ve asked for will happen, but it will be a one-time thing. And we will never speak of it again.”
You hadn’t expected that response, but you couldn’t find the words to oppose him. You nodded silently as Erwin calmly walked to the door to lock it.
That night, you shared something you never thought possible. Being with Erwin, both of you vulnerable and exposed—not just physically but emotionally—was unlike anything you’d ever experienced. In his arms, without words, you felt safe.
The intimacy of being held by someone you admired so deeply was incomparable to anything you had endured before. It was different: there was no demand, only a silent understanding between two people carrying their own burdens.
As your breaths synchronized, you knew this wouldn’t change anything for him. But for you, it was enough. For once, you had been with someone you truly wanted.
When you opened your eyes, the soft light of dawn filtered through the curtains of Erwin’s office. He was already awake, staring at the ceiling with a calm yet distant expression. You were still in his arms, but the warmth of the previous night had been replaced by a cold reality.
“It’s time to get up, y/n,” he said softly, gently pulling away. His tone was respectful yet final, as if he wanted to draw a clear line between what had happened and what was to come.
You dressed in silence, avoiding his gaze. As you adjusted your shirt, you couldn’t help but wonder if you had made a mistake by risking everything. But at the same time, that night had given you a sense of intimacy you’d never known, and you couldn’t entirely regret it.
Before you left the room, he spoke. “This doesn’t change our responsibilities. I expect you to continue fulfilling your duties as you always have.” There was no reproach in his voice, but his words reinforced that this had been an isolated event, nothing more.
As the days passed, things seemed to return to normal, but you knew something inside you had shifted. You no longer felt invisible under his gaze. You knew he saw you as more than a tool. Yet his commitment to the cause would always outweigh any personal bond. Your feelings for him deepened, but you began questioning your role in the regiment. Was it enough to keep serving him, or did you need to find a purpose beyond being his loyal ally?
On the other hand, Erwin remained just as focused on his mission. However, there were subtle signs that the night had affected him as well—longer-than-usual glances, a slight softness in his voice when he spoke to you—that betrayed the fact that, even though he would never admit it, the encounter had left an impression on him. He knew he had crossed a line by agreeing to your request, but he also understood that he had given you something you desperately needed: to feel desired by someone you respected. He had agreed not because it was strategic or necessary, but because, deep down, he wanted to alleviate the burden he saw in your eyes. Though he knew he could offer no more, that night had been an emotional truce for both of you.
Yet, each time he saw you, a small pang of doubt gnawed at him. Had he been fair to you? Had he strengthened your loyalty, or only complicated your place in the Scouts? Still, Erwin buried these thoughts like he did with all his personal dilemmas, choosing instead to focus entirely on the mission.
⋆꙳•❅• •❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅• •❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅• •❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅• •❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅• •❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅•
The training yard was empty except for you and Levi. You had decided to channel your emotions through exercise, hoping to distract yourself from the occasional glances at Erwin and the heavy feelings you carried. Levi eventually approached you.
“You seem more lost than usual,” he remarked, arms crossed.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” you replied, trying to sound indifferent.
“I’m good at reading people, y/n. And I’m not stupid,” he said bluntly, though his tone wasn’t unkind. “I know what happened between you and Erwin.”
Your heart skipped a beat. You dropped your gaze, feeling exposed. “How… how do you know?”
Levi shrugged. “It’s obvious. The way you look at him. And the way he avoids looking at you for too long. Plus, I saw him lock his office door with you inside.”
“Levi, I…” You began, but your voice faltered. The words spilled out in a rush. “It was my fault. I pressured him. I blackmailed him, you know? It was awful of me. I love him so much, but I know it meant nothing to him. And now I don’t know what to do.”
Levi stayed silent for a moment, his expression unreadable. Finally, he sighed and spoke. “Erwin’s complicated. He’s got too much on his shoulders to think about anything other than his damn mission. But what you did wasn’t blackmail. It was a cry for help. You need to decide if carrying this weight is worth it.” Levi had never agreed with how you were being used.
“What if I leave it all behind?” you asked, uncertainty thick in your voice.
“You won’t,” Levi answered with certainty. “Because you know this place is about more than just Erwin. But you need to learn how to separate your feelings from your duty. Because in the end, Erwin can’t give you what you want, and you deserve more than that.”
His words hit hard. You realized that, while your feelings for Erwin were real, you needed to redirect your energy toward something that wouldn’t consume you. Levi was right. Staying with the Scouts might mean finding your own purpose, even if you never achieved the love you longed for.
After your conversation with Levi, something shifted within you. His words were like a beacon of clarity cutting through the emotional fog you’d been lost in. You decided you couldn’t let yourself be consumed by your feelings for Erwin, nor could you let your emotions cloud your sense of duty. Though you still loved him, you knew you had to channel that energy into something beyond him.
You threw yourself into your missions, working harder than ever. You became an even more valuable ally to the Scouts, earning the respect of your comrades with your dedication and resilience. Although your love for Erwin didn’t vanish, you learned to accept it as something beyond your control and moved forward, cultivating emotional independence.
Though Erwin remained your commander, and in many ways, you still admired him, you began to forge your own path. You found satisfaction in being useful—not just to Erwin, but to yourself and the greater cause.
Your relationship with him subtly changed. Erwin was no longer the center of your universe, and though his glances sometimes lingered, you no longer sought his constant approval. You had discovered a strength within yourself that granted you a freedom you’d never known before.
Your feelings for him remained, but deep down, you knew the most important thing was what you could build for yourself—without relying on anyone else to define your worth.
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m-for-musings · 3 months ago
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@unreadpoppy tagged me in a WIP Wednesday post once but it got lost in my feed and I got lost in time so there it goes. Also I wished to know what's @jellymellydraws is up to? Hum? Hum?? (no pressure and no obligation, view this as a plead for another snippet of I've Got You, if you want to share it please tag me :B)
WIP WEDNESDAY
(very late, tho)
His voice faltered, caught in his throat. He hadn't spoken of it until now, and the words seemed to choke him, refusing to be uttered. “When I got there, he was…” The memories, once pushed aside, now surged forward, wrapping around his heart like suffocating vines. “I took his life.” “You spared the elder from a miserable existence and his family from a painful burden,” Minthara responded simply. Of course she would say so. Her upbringing in the unforgiving depths of the Underdark had shaped her perspective on such matters. “Taking care of those important to you is not a burden, Minthara,” Halsin replied, his eyes filled with sorrow. “I had no right to do what I did. Not without their consent.” “Bold of you to assume that desperate relatives around a deathbed would make reasonable decisions,” she countered. “They came to me for healing—” “They came to you for aid, as every single unfortunate soul in this place, and many others, do. And you aided them. You spared his children from the helplessness of watching their father deteriorate daily. You saved his widow from the arduous task of tending to his every need, neglecting her own. You prevented the despair, the exhaustion, the anger, and the prolonged grief of watching a loved one’s life slip away. You are their leader. They came to you for your aid and guidance. They came to you because they trust your judgment. You should trust it too.” For a moment, he felt strangely comforted by her blunt assessment. The guilt that had been gnawing at him eased, replaced by a reluctant acknowledgment of the truth in her words. She spoke with a brutal honesty that resonated with him, stripping away the layers of self-reproach he had wrapped around himself. Yet, this newfound clarity brought with it a new, confusing guilt. How could he find solace in her words, knowing the pain he had caused? He agreed with Minthara, and that agreement made him uneasy. It felt wrong to find comfort in the pragmatism that dismissed the emotional complexities of the situation. He grappled with this internal conflict, torn between his moral compass and the logic of her perspective, that seemed so undeniable.
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dreaminginthedeepsouth · 6 months ago
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Eugene Sledge wrote "With the Old Breed: At Peleliu and Okinawa" "Based on notes Sledge secretly kept in a copy of the New Testament, With the Old Breed captures with utter simplicity and searing honesty the experience of a soldier in the fierce Pacific Theater. Here is what saved, threatened, and changed his life. Here, too, is the story of how he learned to hate and kill—and came to love—his fellow man. “In all the literature on the Second World War, there is not a more honest, realistic or moving memoir than Eugene Sledge’s. This is the real deal, the real war: unvarnished, brutal, without a shred of sentimentality or false patriotism, a profound primer on what it actually was like to be in that war. It is a classic that will outlive all the armchair generals’ safe accounts of—not the ‘good war’—but the worst war ever.”—Ken Burns
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My last conversation with my father before his death was about this book. I had purchased it for him and sent it to him. During a visit, I asked him if he'd read it [he was a veteran of the Pacific war in WWII]. He pulled the book out from a stack beside him and he said he'd read "every word." That it was the best book he'd ever read about the War and he wished he'd written it. He wept.
What followed was the most he ever shared with me about the War. Here are some quotes from Sledge's book:
“As I crawled out of the abyss of combat and over the rail of the Sea Runner, I realized that compassion for the sufferings of others is a burden to those who have it. As Wilfred Owen's poem "Insensibility" puts it so well, those who feel most of others suffer most in war.” ― Eugene B. Sledge With the Old Breed + “In writing I am fulfilling an obligation I have long felt to my comrades in the 1st Marine Division, all of whom suffered so much for our country. None came out unscathed. Many gave their lives, many their health, and some their sanity. All who survived will long remember the horror they would rather forget. But they suffered and they did their duty so a sheltered homeland can enjoy the peace that was purchased at such high cost. We owe those Marines a profound debt of gratitude.” ― Eugene B. Sledge, With the Old Breed: At Peleliu and Okinawa + “I am the harvest of man’s stupidity. I am the fruit of the holocaust. I prayed like you to survive, but look at me now. It is over for us who are dead, but you must struggle, and will carry the memories all your life. People back home will wonder why you can’t forget.” ― Eugene B. Sledge, With the Old Breed: At Peleliu and Okinawa + “Sitting in stunned silence, we remembered our dead. So many dead. So many maimed. So many bright futures consigned to the ashes of the past. So many dreams lost in the madness that had engulfed us. Except for a few widely scattered shouts of joy, the survivors of the abyss sat hollow-eyed and silent, trying to comprehend a world without war.” ― Eugene B. Sledge, With the Old Breed: At Peleliu and Okinawa + “None of us would ever be the same after what we had endured. To some degree that is true, of course, of all human experience. But something in me died at Peleliu. Perhaps it was a childish innocence that accepted as faith the claim that man is basically good. Possibly I lost faith that politicians in high places who do not have to endure war's savagery will ever stop blundering and sending other to endure it.” ― Eugene B. Sledge, With the Old Breed: At Peleliu and Okinawa
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My father and my relationship was "troubled" you might say. Our last conversation helped me in the years since his death to forgive him for many things, understanding what he was carrying.
I asked him in our conversation "How old were you then?" And he said "19."
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crazgazze · 1 year ago
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i hate people that pride themselves on being brutally honest. honesty without compassion is cruelty. you're not blunt, you're just an asshole.
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b-intuitive · 1 year ago
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New Moon In Virgo
˖ ࣭ ࣪ ✦ ࣭ ֗ ♆ ࣩ ࣪ ⋆ ࣭ ࣪ ✷ ࣭ ࣪ ࣺ ㅤㅤ˖ ࣭ ࣪ ✦ ࣭ ֗ ♆ ࣩ ࣪ ⋆
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˖ ࣭ ࣪ ✦ ࣭ ֗ ♆ ࣩ ࣪ ⋆ ࣭ ࣪ ✷ ࣭ ࣪ ࣺ ㅤㅤ˖ ࣭ ࣪ ✦ ࣭ ֗ ♆ ࣩ ࣪ ⋆
Allow this new Moon in Virgo during September 2023 to help you accept your worth and cultivate a life that is full of everything you deserve
Begin to teach yourself that you are worthy of love, acceptance, and fulfilled dreams. You do not have to be perfect to receive love and be worthy. You are enough right now.
We may even judge our worth on what we do, not who we are.
Is there anything causing you doubt, telling you that you are unworthy, or preventing you from believing you are capable of manifesting your visions?
Virgo is also the sign of organization. She reminds us that to reach our highest visions, we must declutter our minds and hearts. As you form your intentions this new Moon, feel if any energies pull you back.
This new moon in detail-oriented Virgo is an excellent time to get organized, whether it's planning the next few months or tying up loose ends in your life.
If Virgo is present in your natal chart, focus on the area of your life it represents.
Ask yourself how you can be your best self in that aspect without striving for perfection. Self-compassion is key.
What do you want your life to look like in five or ten years?
What can you do today to help you get there?
˖ ࣭ ࣪ ✦ ࣭ ֗ ♆ ࣩ ࣪ ⋆ ࣭ ࣪ ✷ ࣭ ࣪ ࣺ ㅤㅤ˖ ࣭ ࣪ ✦ ࣭ ֗ ♆ ࣩ ࣪ ⋆
New Moon Tarot Spread
The fresh start and opportunities that lie ahead
Ace of Pentacles The world around you is full of possibilities and promise right now. Engage with it, go on a bike ride, take a bath, make some tea, plant some flowers and enthrall your sense. You are in this world, on this planet, so live life and let good things come to you.
The intentions you should set during the moon cycle
4 of swords The struggle is real, and you're goddam exhausted. You've been putting in time and energy fully into all the outer aspects of your life, like friends, your relationships or your job, and you have forgotten to care for yourself. You are worn out, so take a break. relax, close your eyes, meditate. Take a nap. Do what you need to in order to recharge.
What you need to release
The hanged man Finally, it's the calm after the storm. You might have just had some tough battles of obstacles to conquer, but now it's time to relax a bit. Meditate, slow down, nurture your body and soul. You might have to sacrifice something in order to reach this state of zen, but don't worry. There is not right or wrong way to do it. it may even feel like your self-care routine is a little strange to others, but this process is crucial for you to embrace who you are and to free yourself of others' expectations and demands.
Steps you can take to manifest your intentions
Queen of swords The Queen has unflinching perception and con cut to the truth of the matter in seconds. She can be blunt, brutally honest and very forward. But just because she's truthful doesn't mean she's lacking compassion and humour. She's still understanding, because she can truly see the entire situation for what it is. If you're the Queen, it's time to set emotions aside and try to view things intelligently, with clarity and honesty.
The potential manifestation of your intentions
8 of Swords You're feeling trapped, blinded, unable to take action because all your swords are stuck in the ground and they seem too difficult to pull out. But these ropes aren't very tight and with a little struggle , they'd fall off. Don't surrender to hopelessness and negativity. You might have made some mistakes that have gotten you here, but you have the skills you'll need to get yourself out of this situation.
˖ ࣭ ࣪ ✦ ࣭ ֗ ♆ ࣩ ࣪ ⋆ ࣭ ࣪ ✷ ࣭ ࣪ ࣺ ㅤㅤ˖ ࣭ ࣪ ✦ ࣭ ֗ ♆ ࣩ ࣪ ⋆
New moon intentions:
Create a self care routine
Map out goals for FY23
Revamp planner/organization system
Manifest a pay raise
˖ ࣭ ࣪ ✦ ࣭ ֗ ♆ ࣩ ࣪ ⋆ ࣭ ࣪ ✷ ࣭ ࣪ ࣺ ㅤㅤ˖ ࣭ ࣪ ✦ ࣭ ֗ ♆ ࣩ ࣪ ⋆
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milehighmechanic · 8 months ago
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repost and rate your muse's traits out of 10 in each category !
★  ⸻   COMPASSION: 9/10. he is extremely good at hiding it, both intentionally and not. but compassion is honestly one of his main driving factors, even if he himself doesn't always realise that. but it also drives his guilt complex.
★  ⸻   BITTERNESS: 5/10. very low prior to CW, unless we're talking about obie or his father. huge spike after CW. but he's also generally more interested in the future than the past.
★  ⸻   HAPPINESS: ?/10 the gap between IM2 and Av1 is probably the only time there's nothing particularly negative dragging him down. he is mercurial, and he knows how to enjoy the moment, but his happiness in life is a rollercoaster.
★  ⸻   POLITENESS: 4/10. depends on the situation. he is perfectly capable of being polite but he has the money and the privilege and the assholeness to not bother most of the time, at least not by most people's standards. he can be 100% respectful without being polite about it.
★  ⸻   MORALITY: 7/10. it varies. obviously this changed a lot in afghanistan. he has no problem killing people who are fighting him or hurting others, he has no problem using extralegal or even illegal means for the right cause. he doesn't really have a strict moral code, just whatever is best at the time that he thinks will protect the most people.
★  ⸻   CHIVALRY: 5/10. i mean no, but then tony as a knight is very much a Theme so. he can be very sweet or gentlemanly but he also can very much Not.
★  ⸻   PRIDE: 9/10, as with everything on this list, it zigzags between 10 and 0 a lot. narcissistic traits coupled with self-esteem issues, a lifetime of making mistakes and a transformational experience where he learned everything he was proud of was a lie? it's complicated.
★  ⸻   HONESTY: 4/10. can't even be honest with himself most of the time, will cheerfully lie to protect people, to push them away, to spare himself an awkward moment, to manipulate people he doesn't like..... but on the other hand he is sometimes painfully, brutally honest. context and mood dependent.
★  ⸻   BRAVERY: 10/10. learning to be braver is definitely part of that afghanistan learning curve but otherwise can't fault him on that one.
★  ⸻   RECKLESSNESS: 8/10. gets better as he gets older, and he's less reckless than he appears to be, but still. very much.
★  ⸻   AMBITION: 10/10, he wants to save the world, he wants to protect the world, he wants his company to be the best, he wants to build and create and invent more and more and more to make the future better.
★  ⸻   LOYALTY: 8/10. its hard to earn his loyalty but when it is earned he is rarely the one to break it, at least, not from his point of view. he does have a bad habit of pushing his friends away but he gets better at that and that's not disloyalty exactly, as much as stupidity.
★  ⸻   LOVE: 10/10. romantically he does not fall in love easily but when he does he falls hard. platonic or generally, he loves a lot, too much sometimes, and he can also be very bad at showing it, or showing it appropriately, there's so much love in him but it doesn't always show in ways that make sense to other people
★  ⸻   SENSE OF FAMILY: 4/10. up and down like a yoyo. in the end the only people who he 100% thinks of as family are pep, rhodey and happy, and morgan obv. unless it's a verse where julie exists which boosts the score tremendously.
★  ⸻   ATTRACTIVENESS: 10/10. cmon we know he's been top of multiple lists
★  ⸻   AGILITY: 7/10 for a regular human guy with reduced lung capacity and a heart condition, he's pretty fucking spry.
★  ⸻   SEX DRIVE: 7/10. drops from the 10+/10 prior to irn man. unsurprisingly, 3 months in a cave and a reactor in your chest cooled things a bit in that department for a while.
tagged by @thrownsoul tagging if u want to do it pls tag me so i can see
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madinscurianmermaid · 5 days ago
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(trigger warning: discussions of genocide and ethnic cleansing)
Acknowledging that Israel has done wrong and is doing wrong is not hate. It's honesty.
Once Israel embraced zionism, it indeed embraced colonialism, colonial imperialism, white supremacy, fascism and racism and strayed from the foundation God meant for Israel to stay on.
Israel has been friends with Turkey, and the Turks committed genocide on the Armenians (and Israel has also been helping Turkey put out propaganda that pushes ahistorical and revisionist Armenian genocide denialism too).
Israel is friends with Russia, who's committing genocide and ethnic cleansing on Ukranians.
Israel supported the apartheid system of South Africa and the racism and colonialism that fueled it.
Israel has an extremist government with the Netanyahu administration that's continuing the 76 year Nakba and acts of colonial imperialist terrorism, ethnic cleansing and genocide on the Palestinian people.
Right wing conservatives and gentile evangelical zionists try to present a hijacked and distorted narrative that commodifies the historical intersectionality of Christian and Jewish faiths and communities just to promote zionism but then these right wing conservatives and gentile zionists won't even acknowledge the Nakba which showed that Christians and Jews were persecuted, martyed, genocided and massacred by zionists alongside the Palestinians. Ironic given that conservatives and zionists constantly claim to care about Christians and Jews.
(Heck, with zionism being a blatant colonialist and white supremacist project, zionism was tailor made by bigoted gentiles and for bigoted gentiles. It was never meant to help or empower Jews.)
Israel prides itself off of treating Ethiopian Jews like tokens to collect, rescue and bring back home (that notion in and of itself being insulting and offensive as it paints Ethiopia and the Ethiopian people as some sort of empty primitive barren wasteland of wandering people instead of an advanced and flourishing country with its own rich, vibrant, thriving culture and community as well as a vibrant and thriving Ethiopian Jewish community and culture) but then Israel allows and fuels antiblackness, racism, police brutality and discrimination towards Ethiopian Jews and Eritrean Jews along with Israeli governmental officials admitting to sterilizing Ethiopian Jews via giving them contraception/birth control shots without their knowledge or consent, banning Ugandan Jews from applying for citizenship, etc.
I repeat this again: acknowledging that Israel has done wrong and is doing wrong is not hate. It's honesty.
And I wanna send this message to both fellow Jews and brothers and sisters in Christ and believers in Christ: it's time to wake up and start getting honest. It's time to let go of and depogram from zionism and conservatism, stop rubbing elbows with right wing conservative rhetoric and groups that further profit off of and feed into zionism, stop enabling the conservative eurowesternized commodification, desecration, exploitation, appropriation and watering down of Christian and Jewish faith and values and stop turning a blind eye to Israel's actions, and instead start acknowledging them, educating ourselves on + showing care, concern, compassion and solidarity to Palestine and Palestinian people (from a biblical standpoint and a historical one), get back to adhering to and living by Christian and Jewish values the right way and, more than anything, pray that God will bring Israel to repentance.
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uhsnail · 25 days ago
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>be me
>make a greebtext post on tumblr?? what is this nonsense
>sorry dont know how to be a normal good person
>be selfish and brutally honest
>need to relearn empathy.
>honesty without compassion is cruelty, kindness without honesty is manipulation.
>reflect. maybe need some alone time to become a better person.
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mossandb0nes · 6 months ago
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Parents and expectations
The system of age hierarchy encourages lying and complacency. While I do admit that I may be biased due to my upbringing, I believe I have seen both sides: my father, with beliefs that birth is the original consent violation, children should be treated as autonomous human beings, and generally as equals whenever possible, and my mother, with the belief that adults are always to be in a position of authority over children. My father is highly emotional, empathetic, and nurturing. My mother is logical and strict. It's a funny inversion of stereotypes. However, neither of them were taught to express those things healthily. My mother was never taught to guide and lead with compassion. My father was never taught stability or healthy ways to cope. In any case, I'll return to what I began this paragraph with: lying as a societal obligation.
This is a silly example, but I'll use it because it was recent. I saw a baby and without thinking, blurted out: "that's a funny-looking baby." I had forgotten that is generally not an acceptable thing to say, and is often taken as an insult to the baby. However, I find infants inherently funny-looking, and the baby cannot take offense, because it doesn't understand shit. So why do people get offended? The baby is not upset. I have not hurt the baby's feelings. I am not causing any pain in this situation. "Funny-looking" is not even intended as an insult. I find infant proportions humorous. Nobody gets upset when one finds a frog or a bird humorous, or calls it funny-looking. The baby is around the same level of intelligence as a frog.
In any case, it is expected of everyone, especially young people, to lie about their feelings or avoid stating them as not to offend others. While I believe that "brutal" honesty is unnecessary, as most offensive statements can be rephrased to avoid violent forms of communication, honesty should not be regarded as inherently offensive. Many statements are simply attempts to express one's experienced reality. In this way, honesty fosters connection.
To me, this means that adults or those in positions of authority should also be called out with objective statements of their mistakes. This does not necessitate criticism. It is simply for the purpose of fostering awareness and interpersonal understanding.
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