#honesty without compassion is brutality

[sasomienspegel]

Gladioli 21:12 / Until My Scales Dry

[burst-of-iridescent]

i really hate it when people act as though zuko is being selfish or self-serving in some way when he tells aang in the finale that the only choice he has is to kill ozai because a) at this point, zuko is right and b) zuko's brutal honesty here is coming from a place of fear for both aang and the world.

are we all forgetting that unlearning his own idealization of his father and realizing that ozai never had been, and was never going to be, the person zuko thought he was, was a significant part of zuko's own arc? it took him sixteen years to understand that giving ozai any grace or understanding or forgiveness was a mistake, because it would be just another tool for ozai to manipulate him with. and that's not zuko's fault, because he was an abused child growing up in an incredibly damaging environment, but it does make sense that he doesn't want anyone else, especially aang, doing the same thing.

zuko is harsh on aang here because he sees in aang the person that he used to be - the innocent, naive kid who wanted so desperately to believe that ozai wasn't a monster, that there was any shred of humanity within him at all to be appealed to. it's not a coincidence in this show so rife with parallels that aang goes to face ozai at around the same age that zuko has his agni kai. and what did it get zuko, when he threw himself at his father's mercy and counted on ozai's non-existent humanity and compassion to save him?

zuko isn't coming down hard on aang because he's angry that "aang won't do his dirty work for him" or whatever other bullshit version of this argument i've seen zuko antis make - he HAS to impress upon aang how dire this situation is because he knows better than anyone that believing for even a second that ozai can be redeemed is incredibly dangerous. aang cannot give ozai an inch because it will only be used against him (and indeed, this does happen in the final battle when aang turns down the opportunity to redirect lightning at ozai and in return ozai presses his advantage to the point where aang would almost certainly have been killed if not for rock ex-machina).

furthermore, this idea that zuko wanted ozai dead for self-serving reasons doesn't really have much basis either, because if that was the case zuko could have just killed ozai himself during the solstice. he doesn't because at that point, he still had an alternative: aang (and you'll notice his word choices never explicitly refer to what ozai's fate will be; it's only "i'm going to help him defeat you" or "taking you down is the avatar's destiny"). as with many abused children, it's likely that zuko himself didn't really know if he wanted his father dead, but when it came down to the final battle without any other viable options presenting themselves, it was something he had to resign himself - and aang - to.

zuko himself does not lack faith in others (in fact, his whole journey is about understanding that his love for and belief in humanity is a strength, not a weakness) but he's learned the hard way that having this faith in the wrong people can result in devastating consequences, especially when the stakes are so high.

i imagine it terrified zuko to see the echoes of his younger self in aang, knowing he's sending him to face his father at the height of his power. at this point, with no knowledge of energybending or any alternative way to defeat ozai, well aware that a fight with his father can only end in bloodshed, zuko has no choice but to give aang the reality of the situation: kill, or be killed and doom the world alongside you.

[mauromance]

A case for Kastle | Why Karen and Frank are end game

The relationship between Frank Castle and Karen Page doesn’t just surpass her connection with Matt Murdock, it fundamentally redefines what intimacy looks like in the darker corners of the MCU.

Where Matt’s love is complicated by secrets and duality, Frank’s is startling in its raw transparency. And crucially, their bond is textually romantic in ways the narrative consistently reinforces.

Matt’s love is fractured by duality

Matt Murdock exists in perpetual contradiction: saint and sinner, attorney and assailant, the man and the mask. His relationship with Karen mirrors this civil war within: every tender moment undermined by secrets, every act of protection laced with deception. He doesn't withhold truths because he doesn't care, but because he's forgotten how to exist without walls. Even as Daredevil fights for her safety, Matt Murdock keeps her at arm's length—not from lack of love, but from the terrifying certainty that to let her truly see him might destroy them both.

Frank’s love is brutal in its honesty

Frank Castle wears no mask, he owns his brutality. And yet with Karen, his most jagged edges as the Punisher soften.

Karen could never replace his family, but she becomes something equally dangerous: proof that Frank Castle might still exist beyond his war. She's the first person who makes him consider there could be an after—not as the Punisher, but simply as Frank. And that's what truly terrifies him.

Because in Frank's world, love is vulnerability. It's the knowledge that those closest to us are the ones who can destroy us most completely. His family's love made him whole; their loss unmade him. To let Karen matter is to risk that devastation all over again. Yet still, against instincts and effort their connection is forged.

Kastle is a lens, not a subplot

Frank and Karen’s relationship isn’t romantic filler, it’s the narrative’s moral compass. A lens through which we learn about their characters. Through their connection, we see:

Frank’s capacity for tenderness beneath the violence

Karen’s strength and empathy in the face of darkness

Their shared language of guilt and vengeance

They are each other's revelation. Karen is Frank's reckoning—the living mirror forcing him to confront the man beneath the body armor. And he, in turn, becomes her permission:

Permission to stop running from the blood on her hands

Permission to stare into her darkness without flinching

Permission to plant her feet when the world says "know your place"

Where Matt's half-truths left Karen questioning her worth, Frank's brutal transparency becomes her foundation. Their connection transcends romantic subplot. It's the spinal column of their shared narrative. Every loaded glance, every silence thicker than gun smoke, every "Karen" growled like a prayer or "Frank" whispered like a secret—these moments do more heavy lifting than any fight scene.

That's why the question was never "will they/won't they," but "how could they not?". In a universe where Daredevil hides behind masks and Kingpin behind tailored suits, Frank and Karen stand stripped bare. No aliases, no pretenses, just two scarred souls recognizing each other in the wreckage.

And that raw honesty? In my book, it's rarer and more revolutionary, than love.

Matt can move on (Frank can’t)

Matt's story thrives on reinvention. Across the comics and the MCU, he cycles through defining relationships (Karen, Elektra, Claire, Kirsten, etc.). Each love interest representing a different phase of his moral journey. We know that Karen in this case, is a chapter in Matt/Daredevil’s story, not the ending. The MCU's current trajectory seems to confirm this flexibility: with new Daredevil projects announced and more adversaries emerging, Matt's character arc clearly has room to evolve beyond any single romance. He's a hero whose growth comes through many varied connections.

Frank's narrative on the other hand, operates on an entirely different principle. It's a closed emotional circuit. His past is defined by the family he lost; his present (and with any justice, his future) by Karen Page. These are the twin anchors of his humanity, because beneath the body armor and bloodstains, Frank Castle remains at his core what he's always been: a family man without a family.

Where Matt's rotating relationships showcase his evolution as a hero, Frank's bond with Karen serves as his last tether to something resembling normalcy. She prevents him from devolving into pure monstrosity. 

This distinction is crucial for understanding Frank as an anti-hero rather than a villain:

Without Karen, Frank risks becoming a one-dimensional killing machine. She serves as his living connection to the world beyond vengeance. 

Karen gives viewers permission to root for Frank despite his brutality. Through her eyes, we see:

The remnants of the man he was before the tragedy

The potential for something beyond endless war

The cost of his crusade on someone who cares about him

With Karen in the picture, The Punisher's story becomes:

A tragedy of survival rather than mindless violence

A meditation on what parts of ourselves we sacrifice to trauma

A question of whether damaged people can still connect

The MCU's current trajectory seems to recognize this. While Matt will continue evolving through new relationships and challenges, Frank's arc demands resolution. His character is getting older, and this crusade it taking it toll (evidenced in Born Again when he is seen taking pain killers on two seperate occasions). Karen isn't just another love interest to him, she's the last remaining thread connecting Frank Castle to humanity and his way out of the life of venegence. Sever that, and you don't have an anti-hero anymore... you just have a loaded gun in a world full of targets.

Their relationship transforms what would just be gratuitous violence into Shakespearean tragedy. Without it, we're left with the shell of a character who long ago forgot why he started fighting.

There’s transformation through love

Love made Frank Castle into the Punisher (a husband and father’s rage crystallized into war). Now love, his simmering connection to Karen, could forge him into something new. Not a saint, not even a hero, but a man who’s learned to carry his losses without being crushed by them.

The tragedy and the triumph is this: The same force that created the monster might yet redeem the man. Not through grand gestures, but through cups of coffee and all the quiet ways two broken people learn to fit together without cutting themselves on each other’s edges.

To me, that’s beyond romance. That’s resurrection.

A Kastle resolution would fit the MCU’s pattern

In the MCU, completed love stories are reserved for characters whose journeys are ending. Steve Rogers gets his dance with Peggy only after hanging up the shield. Thor’s reunion with Jane coincides with her heroic exit. So following this narrative calculus, if the plan is to wrap up the Punisher’s story, it would seem that the Kastle payoff is inevitable.

The evidence: 

1. The original plan to exclude Karen from Born Again was a miscalculation so glaring it had to be reversed. This speaks volumes:

The push for her inclusion recognises her narrative necessity to both Daredevil and the Punisher

Karen's light footprint in Born Again season 1 suggests the show is saving her emotional weight for a more pivotal conclusion

2. The upcoming Born Again season 2 and 2026 Punisher special create an ideal narrative runway:

For Matt and Karen it could provide a clean, mature resolution to their relationship that:

Honors their history without trapping Matt in the past

Gives Karen agency in walking away

Leaves Matt open for fresh dynamics in a potential season 3

For Frank and Karen it grants a sunset moment with gravity:

The Punisher special could mirror Logan's emotional heft (not in death, but in closure)

Karen's arc would be allowed to culminate not as "Daredevil’s love interest” or "Frank's salvation," but as a woman who's faced her demons and maintained her agency 

3. It serves everyone

Matt grows beyond his Netflix-era baggage

Frank's story ends where it began: with love as his defining force

Karen avoids becoming a plot device—she exits as someone who shaped both men

This is narrative justice. The pieces are all there. Now Marvel just needs to follow through.

It’s bitter and beautiful 

Kastle was never meant to be a fairytale. It's two fractured souls using each other's sharp edges to polish their own broken pieces:

Karen's unwavering courage files down Frank's nihilism

Frank's brutal honesty cracks open Karen's shell of guilt

Their quiet understanding becomes armor against a world that wants them broken

In a universe where Spider-Man’s optimism feels increasingly naive, and Daredevil's moral code keeps crumbling, Kastle offers something radical: the notion that damaged people don't need fixing, just someone who sees their cracks and doesn't look away. That recognition alone can make the endless fight worthwhile.

The final verdict

All signs point to one undeniable truth: Kastle is the only ending that does justice to Frank and Karen's complex journey, while still giving Matt the narrative space to evolve beyond his past. The foundation has been meticulously built across multiple shows and seasons. Marvel now faces a choice: honor this years-long character arc with the emotional payoff it deserves, or let these rich, layered relationships fade into unrealized potential.

Giving us a Kastle ending is more than fan service, at this point it is narrative integrity. Kastle represents:

One of the MCU's most mature explorations of trauma and connection

A rare love story built on mutual respect

The perfect emotional conclusion for Frank’s and Karen’s arcs, while allowing Matt to move forward unshackled from old dynamics

The evidence is all there in the text, the subtext, and the behind-the-scenes decisions. The story has been telling us where this is headed for nearly a decade. Now, Marvel just needs to listen to its own narrative.

--

Want to dive deeper? 

Coffee in the MCU

A way forward (my fan theory)

Kastle scene breakdowns: The subtext you missed [WIP]

--

Published: April 23, 2025

Last edited: April 23, 2025

[hlficlibrary]

✤ Amnesia Fics ✤

A series of posts with the top five fics of each category by kudos plus five more hidden gems from that category! Remember to leave kudos and a comment on the fics you enjoyed to show your appreciation! You can find the library's other recs here.

- Top 5 H/L Fics -

1️⃣ For As Long As I Can Remember (It's Been December) by green_feelings / @greenfeelings {E, 128k}

After recovering from a severe accident that causes Harry to lose his memory of three years, he moves to London to start his life over as a star chef. Little does he know that when he falls in love with Louis at first sight, it’s not the first time they meet.

Featuring an unintentional game of hot and cold, Harry chasing memories that won’t come back, Louis burying himself in work to try and forget what he can’t forget, Liam being torn between two of his best friends, Zayn as a moral compass and Niall saving the day with good music and brutal honesty.

2️⃣ take my hand (and my heart and soul) by bananasandboots / @anylessreal {M, 45k}

Harry feels nauseous when he opens his mouth. "Hey. Um, hi. It's me," he mumbles before realizing with a jolt that Louis might not have his number anymore. "It's Harry... Styles," he tacks on, screwing his eyes shut and pinching the bridge of his nose. This was a terrible idea.

There's silence on the other end for a long time. Harry understands. He shouldn't have called. He tries not to let the static swallow him whole.

"I – yeah. Hi," Louis finally answers, slowly, awkwardly. "I um. Sorry. I heard about your accident. You're alright?"

Or, the one where Harry hasn't spoken to his best friend in sixteen months and can't remember why.

3️⃣ Fugue by iwillpaintasongforlou / @canonlarry {E, 16k}

Harry falls asleep a 17 year-old who lives in Cheshire and is probably rockstar Louis Tomlinson's biggest fan. He wakes up 24 with a wedding ring on his finger, two kids, and Louis Tomlinson attempting to wake him up with a blow job. The doctor calls it organic retrograde amnesia, says he might never get back the last seven years of his life. The only thing that feels the same is how he feels when Louis touches him, and maybe that's enough to make him fall in love all over again.

4️⃣ The Dead of July by whimsicule / @baroness-elsa {M, 117k}

Being an Avenger means continuing to be Captain America and smiling and being honorable for the public and Harry does his best. But it doesn’t give him time to figure out who he is supposed to be once he takes off his uniform and puts the shield to the side. Just being Harry had always involved Louis, and Harry fears he doesn’t know how to exist without him.

or: Harry is Captain America, and Louis’ been dead for 70 years.

5️⃣ Indestructible by whoknows {E, 24k}

“Hi,” Harry murmurs, and Louis hiccups out a sob.

“Hi,” he manages, still clutching onto Harry’s shoulders. Harry’s fingers drift across Louis’ cheeks, and there’s something off about Harry’s expression, but Louis can’t figure out what it is.

“I’m okay,” Harry says, and Louis is going to say something to that, even if he doesn’t know what, except Harry’s kissing him.

Louis freezes.

HIDDEN GEMS:

💎 Stand By Me by MsHydeStylinson / @mizzhydes {E, 100k}

He was almost home when his eyes caught the text sprayed on the wall saying ”Treat People With Kindness”. Yeah, right. He couldn’t help but laugh bitterly. How naïve are some people? The world was too fucking unfair to even consider thinking like that. One day, sooner or later, they would learn their lesson just like everyone else and their own carefully built little Shangri-La would collapse in the blink of an eye. Just like Harry’s had. Poof, and everything had gone.

Or, In the wake of a tragic event, Harry left home at the age of nineteen, leaving behind everything he ever loved. The only thing that kept him going was his passion for music and his dream of making it big in the entertainment world.

What happens when Harry later encounters the man who once broke his heart? Is it possible to find forgiveness for the person who bitterly betrayed him? Could love really prevail despite the trauma he carries with him from his past?

💎 Jade by Halos_Boat / @halohamilton {M, 91k}

Harry was in a shipwreck, lost at sea with an injury to his head that causes him to lose part of his memory. Louis happens to notice the boy and dives in to rescue him, then aiding him to health again with his mother’s help.

Harry may have lost part of his memory, part of his life, but he gained something better than he could have ever imagined; he fell in love with Louis.

But, the life that Harry couldn't remember may just come between them.

The Amnesia AU where Harry and Louis still end up falling in love.

💎 I'm Praying (that you don't burn out or fade away) by @lululawrence {NR, 74k}

“Louis,” Harry breathed happily. His smile widened as he realized he’d finally found him, and he was stood before his soulstar. This was the closest they’d been in 31 Earth years, which had felt extraordinarily long for Harry, even in his star form. He could hardly withhold his happiness at seeing him again.

“Erm, yeah,” Louis said, interrupting Harry’s thoughts with his brows furrowing and looking clearly suspicious. “And you are?”

Harry and Louis are literal stars who have known they were soulmates from their creation eons ago, however when Louis came to Earth to start the next phase of their fated future, he forgot everything. Even Harry.

This leaves Harry to break the rules and instead of waiting for Louis to call him and join him on Earth, he crashes down on his own. Without Louis there to guide him and help him learn how to adjust to having a human body and everything associated with that, Harry has no other choice but to do the best he can.

As Harry tries to correct what has gone wrong, he finds that friendship can be a light even in the darkest night, and through those bonds even separated soulstars can find their fated path once more.

💎 Making Waves by @haztobegood {E, 30k}

After Louis Tomlinson, an arrogant millionaire, is thrown overboard and loses his memory, a mistreated employee convinces him that they are married. Thrust into an unfamiliar life he cannot remember, Louis must learn to live with his new husband and daughters and adjust to a less extravagant life.

Or, the one where Louis can’t remember, Harry needs money, and Niall has a plan. An Overboard AU.

💎 i forget (but i remember you) by honey_beeing {T, 3k}

Where Harry has anterograde amnesia and needs Louis's help sometimes.

[trixy812]

006 - Ambushed.

{Erwin Smith x reader}

⁀➴ Content: erwin smith x reader, levi is a really good person, reader is a victim of her own circunstanes, reader!soldier, tw: implied sa, angst, love it is not the end just a part of the story, self-love

⁀➴ Summary: You are recuited by Erwin Smith. He saved you from hell but, you need much more from him.

⁀➴AN: A couple of years ago, I sent this idea as a request, if you see something similar then, you will know it was me who sent it because I do not remember if I did it as an anon or with my username. I like the end of this. Please let me know what you think! :)

🅼🅰🆂🆃🅴🆁🅻🅸🆂🆃

༘⋆📼˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚༘⋆📼˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚༘⋆📼˚ ༘ ೀ⋆｡˚༘⋆📼˚

The gray skies and dense air of Mitras District were memories that never left your mind. The day Erwin Smith entered your life, the walls around you seemed to close in and open up all at once. You had been passed from one aristocrat to another for as long as you could remember, treated as an exotic commodity because of your distinctive features that set you apart from the average population. To them, you were nothing more than a form of entertainment. However, that hellish cycle ended the moment Commander Erwin Smith extended his hand to you.

“With the secrets you've overheard, you could change the course of this fight,” he said in a voice that left no room for argument. He knew you had learned more than you ever wanted about the vices, frauds, and conspiracies the elite sought to conceal. It was a recruitment based on your traumas, but to you, it was an opportunity to escape your personal hell and become useful to someone like him.

Since then, you had served faithfully as one of his trusted aides. But your role in the Scout Regiment was unique. Erwin, aware of your past experiences, sent you on covert missions where you used your charisma to secure funding from wealthy nobles and merchants. Though you were aware of the morally gray nature of your tasks, you never questioned them. You were grateful to be useful, to be noticed by him—even if it was in that way.

You admired him, almost to the point of reverence. To you, he was a hero, someone who had given you not only a new life but also a purpose. Over time, however, that admiration deepened into something more. You couldn’t help but watch his imposing figure, his determined gaze, the way he commanded with both authority and compassion. You were in love with him, though you knew he likely would never see you the same way.

One night, after a long meeting, you overheard a conversation between Erwin and Levi. The latter, questioned the commander about the missions he continued to send you on. Erwin’s words sent a chill through your body:

“You know these donations wouldn’t last without her. It’s a necessary sacrifice.”

Your heart sank. Was that all you were to him? A tool to fund his dream?

That same night, after much deliberation, you summoned the courage to confront him. You found him in his office, absorbed in maps and strategic documents. Taking a deep breath, you spoke.

“Erwin,” you began, your voice barely audible, “do I... do I matter to you only for the money I bring to the regiment? Or do I mean something to you as a person?”

He looked up, his expression as stoic as ever. But his piercing, analytical eyes revealed something deeper. He took a moment before responding, the silence between you stretching painfully.

“y/n,” he began, his tone serious yet warm, “everything I do is for the sake of humanity. The decisions I make aren’t always fair or easy. You’ve been vital to our progress, but it would be a lie to say I only value you for that.”

He paused, letting his words settle before continuing.

“You are more than a tool to me. Your loyalty, your courage… they mean more than I can express. But my priorities will always lie with our mission. If that hurts you, I have no right to ask for your forgiveness.”

His words were a mix of comfort and brutal honesty, as was typical of Erwin—a man bearing the weight of the world on his shoulders, unable to fully give himself to anyone, no matter how much he might want to.

You stared at him, feeling a mixture of pain and determination. “If I’m truly more than just a tool to you,” you began, stepping closer, “then I want you to do something for me. It’s the least you can do after all I’ve sacrificed.”

He raised an eyebrow, a mix of confusion and caution crossing his face. “What do you want?”

“I want to spend the night with you, Erwin,” you declared, your tone serious even as your chest tightened with nerves. “For once, I want to be with someone I care about—because I’m always with grotesque, cruel men...” The words spilled out as an emotion-laden whisper. “And if you can’t meet this condition... I’ll leave the regiment.” As soon as the words escaped, you realized the weight of what you had said.

Erwin’s gaze bore into you, as if trying to decipher every corner of your mind. He couldn’t tell if you were bluffing, but he couldn’t afford to take the risk. The regiment depended on you more than he cared to admit.

The silence was worse than any reproach. His intense blue eyes scrutinized you, leaving you feeling utterly exposed. The pressure was too much, and you sank to your knees in front of him.

“It’s not true! I’d never leave the regiment! Please, forgive me, Commander,” you sobbed, covering your face with your hands. “I was an idiot to speak to you like that... You saved me from hell, and I...” Your words dissolved into broken cries.

“Stand up, y/n,” he said, his tone characteristically firm yet calm. His voice was an anchor in the storm of your emotions. Hesitantly, you obeyed, rising to your feet as his hand rested on your arm.

Erwin didn’t look away, and what he said next left you breathless. “What you’ve asked for will happen, but it will be a one-time thing. And we will never speak of it again.”

You hadn’t expected that response, but you couldn’t find the words to oppose him. You nodded silently as Erwin calmly walked to the door to lock it.

That night, you shared something you never thought possible. Being with Erwin, both of you vulnerable and exposed—not just physically but emotionally—was unlike anything you’d ever experienced. In his arms, without words, you felt safe.

The intimacy of being held by someone you admired so deeply was incomparable to anything you had endured before. It was different: there was no demand, only a silent understanding between two people carrying their own burdens.

As your breaths synchronized, you knew this wouldn’t change anything for him. But for you, it was enough. For once, you had been with someone you truly wanted.

When you opened your eyes, the soft light of dawn filtered through the curtains of Erwin’s office. He was already awake, staring at the ceiling with a calm yet distant expression. You were still in his arms, but the warmth of the previous night had been replaced by a cold reality.

“It’s time to get up, y/n,” he said softly, gently pulling away. His tone was respectful yet final, as if he wanted to draw a clear line between what had happened and what was to come.

You dressed in silence, avoiding his gaze. As you adjusted your shirt, you couldn’t help but wonder if you had made a mistake by risking everything. But at the same time, that night had given you a sense of intimacy you’d never known, and you couldn’t entirely regret it.

Before you left the room, he spoke. “This doesn’t change our responsibilities. I expect you to continue fulfilling your duties as you always have.” There was no reproach in his voice, but his words reinforced that this had been an isolated event, nothing more.

As the days passed, things seemed to return to normal, but you knew something inside you had shifted. You no longer felt invisible under his gaze. You knew he saw you as more than a tool. Yet his commitment to the cause would always outweigh any personal bond. Your feelings for him deepened, but you began questioning your role in the regiment. Was it enough to keep serving him, or did you need to find a purpose beyond being his loyal ally?

On the other hand, Erwin remained just as focused on his mission. However, there were subtle signs that the night had affected him as well—longer-than-usual glances, a slight softness in his voice when he spoke to you—that betrayed the fact that, even though he would never admit it, the encounter had left an impression on him. He knew he had crossed a line by agreeing to your request, but he also understood that he had given you something you desperately needed: to feel desired by someone you respected. He had agreed not because it was strategic or necessary, but because, deep down, he wanted to alleviate the burden he saw in your eyes. Though he knew he could offer no more, that night had been an emotional truce for both of you.

Yet, each time he saw you, a small pang of doubt gnawed at him. Had he been fair to you? Had he strengthened your loyalty, or only complicated your place in the Scouts? Still, Erwin buried these thoughts like he did with all his personal dilemmas, choosing instead to focus entirely on the mission.

⋆꙳•❅• •❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅• •❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅• •❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅• •❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅• •❆ ₊⋆⋆꙳•❅•

The training yard was empty except for you and Levi. You had decided to channel your emotions through exercise, hoping to distract yourself from the occasional glances at Erwin and the heavy feelings you carried. Levi eventually approached you.

“You seem more lost than usual,” he remarked, arms crossed.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you replied, trying to sound indifferent.

“I’m good at reading people, y/n. And I’m not stupid,” he said bluntly, though his tone wasn’t unkind. “I know what happened between you and Erwin.”

Your heart skipped a beat. You dropped your gaze, feeling exposed. “How… how do you know?”

Levi shrugged. “It’s obvious. The way you look at him. And the way he avoids looking at you for too long. Plus, I saw him lock his office door with you inside.”

“Levi, I…” You began, but your voice faltered. The words spilled out in a rush. “It was my fault. I pressured him. I blackmailed him, you know? It was awful of me. I love him so much, but I know it meant nothing to him. And now I don’t know what to do.”

Levi stayed silent for a moment, his expression unreadable. Finally, he sighed and spoke. “Erwin’s complicated. He’s got too much on his shoulders to think about anything other than his damn mission. But what you did wasn’t blackmail. It was a cry for help. You need to decide if carrying this weight is worth it.” Levi had never agreed with how you were being used.

“What if I leave it all behind?” you asked, uncertainty thick in your voice.

“You won’t,” Levi answered with certainty. “Because you know this place is about more than just Erwin. But you need to learn how to separate your feelings from your duty. Because in the end, Erwin can’t give you what you want, and you deserve more than that.”

His words hit hard. You realized that, while your feelings for Erwin were real, you needed to redirect your energy toward something that wouldn’t consume you. Levi was right. Staying with the Scouts might mean finding your own purpose, even if you never achieved the love you longed for.

After your conversation with Levi, something shifted within you. His words were like a beacon of clarity cutting through the emotional fog you’d been lost in. You decided you couldn’t let yourself be consumed by your feelings for Erwin, nor could you let your emotions cloud your sense of duty. Though you still loved him, you knew you had to channel that energy into something beyond him.

You threw yourself into your missions, working harder than ever. You became an even more valuable ally to the Scouts, earning the respect of your comrades with your dedication and resilience. Although your love for Erwin didn’t vanish, you learned to accept it as something beyond your control and moved forward, cultivating emotional independence.

Though Erwin remained your commander, and in many ways, you still admired him, you began to forge your own path. You found satisfaction in being useful—not just to Erwin, but to yourself and the greater cause.

Your relationship with him subtly changed. Erwin was no longer the center of your universe, and though his glances sometimes lingered, you no longer sought his constant approval. You had discovered a strength within yourself that granted you a freedom you’d never known before.

Your feelings for him remained, but deep down, you knew the most important thing was what you could build for yourself—without relying on anyone else to define your worth.

-

🅼🅰🆂🆃🅴🆁🅻🅸🆂🆃

[pilot-boi]

What’s an interesting way you could make Jaune a “villain” or take a dark turn while staying true to his character flaws?

Well generally the easiest way to turn a character into a villain is to take their virtues and exaggerate them until they become flaws, and take their already existing flaws and strengthen them even further

So for Jaune I’d take his anger issues and blow them up ten fold, especially his tendency to speak without thinking. This takes him from mean to needlessly cruel, from snappy to cutting down people with words as sharp as razors. Plus he’s already a big guy, so if he actually USED that size while he was angry he’d actually be really scary

His speaking without thinking could also be twisted to cruelty even when he’s not angry. Casually cutting people down with brutal honesty, backhanded compliments, the whole nine yards

As for the virtues to flaws, the most obvious one is his loyal and protective nature. But when exaggerated, loyalty becomes obsession, protective becomes possessive

But another one that could easily become sinister is Jaune’s tactical mind. Jaune’s tactics tend to take the simplest and often shortest route between problem and solution. So with a twisted moral compass leading him, it wouldn’t take much for his tactics to become “The ends justify the means,” usually enacted with brutal efficiency

So now we’ve got a guy who can go from smiling to raging at the flip of a switch, who is violently obsessed and possessive of the people he deems as “his” all while verbally cutting down THEM and everyone around him, who is also a tactical genius willing to do whatever is necessary to achieve his goals

How’s that for a villain?

[girlbeyondthegrave]

Everyone who has died after the initial plane crash represents an aspect of the typical moral compass which guides us.

Laura Lee is arguably the most obvious representation of this. She's a Christian, the most popular faith in the United States. However, what's interesting about Laura Lee is that she is pious like most stereotypical Christians in media, she undermines this trope via a devotion to Jesus Christ's main message: love. Her faith is a major source of comfort, and it becomes such for Lottie as she begins having hallucinations and visions. She is a warm, comforting, and encourage force in the camp. She is determined, but also naive, represented in her teddy bear. This is why she is the one to attempt to fly the plane--she is the only one determined enough to try while being naive enough to not fully weigh the risks.

Laura Lee is the antithesis to the wilderness. It calls for violence and betrayals. It encourages the girls to give in to their inner darkness. Laura Lee's teddy bear catching fire serves as a visual representation for the girl's remaining shred of childhood. Laura Lee's death results in Lottie losing hope in Christianity, which she only clung to because of Lottie. It forces the girls to accept their reality; they are stuck in the wilderness, and they may never be found.

Jackie rejects the budding hive mind mentality. While the others get high on mushrooms, Jackie remains sober and recognizes the camp's descent into madness. From the very beginning, Jackie had no interest in being a team player. She looks after her needs first, from choosing to save her best friend Shauna over Van to sleeping with Travis so she's no longer a virgin. The group sees Jackie as self-centered, but she is the one who pushes back against the rest of the group when they sexually assault Travis. They lock the sole voice of reason in the closet, and when she continues to push back, the team allows her to sleep inside while knowing winter is approaching.

Lottie makes an important observation in Season 2. While tending to her bees, she notes that in the winter, the bees all keep their queen warm, because they won't survive without her. The camp's Queen Bee was abandoned. She froze, and though they always saw her as self-centered, they tell themselves that Jackie would want them to eat her, the ultimate selfless act. The team needs a new leader to rally behind, resulting in Lottie and then ultimately Natalie stepping into leadership roles. Jackie is the death of the social hierarchy they lived in before the crash. Coach Ben ultimately gave up on fighting for any scrap of control or leadership, but Jackie didn't. Whether as a supernatural act or to move the plot along, Jackie's death means living the rules of civilization behind.

Meanwhile, Javi flees and hides in the underground tunnels, whether by his own discovery or through the help of his friend. He not only escapes the descension of madness at the party, but the savage and brutal act of eating Jackie's body to survive the winter. When he returns, he is quiet and reserved, which leads us to wonder if it was because of his experiences in the cave or if he learned what had been happening above ground through his alleged friend. His most notable instances of speaking are about this friend, and when he decides to help Natalie as the rest of the camp hunts her.

Kristen/Crystal's death is all about honesty and justice. When Misty confesses that she broke the distress signal, Crystal's first reaction is to confess to the group. The group would surely kill Misty and eat her after learning what she'd done, and after the many lives lost because of what Misty had done, it would be justifiable. But abiding by honesty and justice means that Misty risks losing her life. It's all she has, and she's determined to keep it.

Misty didn't mean to kill Crystal. She was desperate and frantic. But she does. She accidentally kills a completely innocent person because she didn't want to face the consequences of her actions. No matter how accidental Crystal's death was, it led to Justice being avoided. In the most unfair outcome possible, the honest one dies and the liar goes free.

Lies have been a big part of the wilderness, whether by omission or outright. Shauna lies to Jackie about the baby to avoid losing her best friend. Natalie lies about finding Javi's bloody clothes. Misty lies about what happened to Crystal. Van and Tai hide Other Tai's existence as much as possible. Natalie lies about Coach's whereabouts, and Mari tries to do the same but crumbles when pushed too hard. These lies and secrets are treated as necessities, whether to protect someone or a dynamic with someone. Honesty is a threat to the stability of the camp.

Javi resisted the ritual and the desire to succumb to the wilderness. We can speculate that he did so because of how much Natalie matters to Travis, but I think that if another girl were in her shoes, Javi would still help her. He's always been a character who feels very deeply, all the way back to when he refused to spit out his gum because it was the last thing his father gave him. Rather than giving into violence or anger, Javi takes to drawing and journaling to cope. He could have tried to rationalize the situation and justify it as the others have when assaulting Travis and eating Jackie's body, yet he thinks with his heart instead. He tries to commit a selfless act and protect someone. Natalie tries to pull him up, but Misty forces her to think rationally--it's either him or her. This connection is further supported by the scene in which Travis picks up Javi's raw heart and bites into it. This is what the writer's want us to remember about Javi, that he thought with his heart over his head and it led to his demise.

To me, the deaths of Crystal and Javi make it clear that Ben is not going to come out of this alive. Based off Ben's reaction to Mari mentioning the cabin burning down, he didn't do it. Moreover, burning the cabin would have been wildly out of character for him. Ben has consistently refused to use violence. He does not partake in the cult rituals, but also does not play an active role in stopping them. He does not eat Jackie's body, but he knows he's powerless to stop the rest of the camp. When everything weighs down on him, he would rather kill himself than hurt someone else. Before he travels to the cliff, he shaves. It's reflective of him confronting reality, now unable to hide in his delusions of a better life. Moreover, it could arguably be a demonstration of Ben taking back control over his life. After losing his leg and his influence over the girls, he's lacked any ounce of control. Ben would rather die than become like the girls.

Now that Ben knows where Javi has been hiding, he has a chance to completely remove himself from the cult. But he doesn't want to just save himself. He tries to take Natalie with him, and he genuinely believes that she still has the opportunity to reject the group's cult mentality.

Like Javi, Ben survives in the wilderness alone. It almost seems like he's being rewarded for distancing himself from the camp after he stumbles upon buried crates of emergency supplies. However, when he accidentally traps Mari instead of a deer, he's presented with a dilemma--will he kill her so he won't be found, or will he let her go? In the end, Ben frees her. His selflessness ultimately leads to his hiding spot being discovered.

While the camp may believe that Ben burned the cabin down, he expresses disbelief when Mari tells him about the cabin. Based off their conversation, he lived in the tunnels through the rest of the winter and never even saw the smoke.

Even if Mari testifies that he didn't know about the fire, we have established that honesty is not a core value of the camp's philosophy.

Ben's resistance to giving in to the divine interpretation of the wilderness even as he starves and witnesses utter horrors is truly the hallmark of a strong character, even if he is not the traditional image of strength. Yet despite this strength, he is too soft for the wilderness. Like those who died before him, he opposes the lawlessness of the wild.

The wilderness is not fair. It is not just. It does not reward the good, nor does it punish the bad. You can let a girl sleep outside or let a boy drown in icy waters, but as long as you eat something--truly, anything to keep you going--you will survive. You can be selfless. You can be kind. You can stand up for what's right. It doesn't matter to nature, because nature is utterly amoral. Nature can be brutal one moment and comforting the next, and the side you experience comes down to good timing.

I believe that Ben did not burn down the cabin, but that the camp will believe that he did. I believe that they'll kill him and eat him, and this will be the true point of no return for them. Eating Jackie and Javi could be rationalized in their heads; it was winter, and they were all going to starve without nourishment. Killing Ben can even be justified if they sincerely believe he set the cabin on fire and view him as a threat.

But to eat him in the middle of the summer, when they have an abundance of food and water? There is no need. It's purely gluttonous, purely savage and animalistic. To me, that's the point of no return.

[floridaboiler]

Open Letter from Dad to Son

Dear Son,

I love you. There are some things my father taught me growing up that I have the honor of now passing down to you. Below is a list of life lessons he taught me mixed with other lessons my path has given me. Read them, think about them and use them to help guide you through your life…

– The golden rule “Treat others how you would want them to treat you” and your loved ones. – Our actions will always speak louder than our words. We must be an example of what we say.

– Give. Give as much as you can. Give from your heart. Give without the need for recognition.

– Be Humble. Let others talk about your success, not you. People appreciate Humble. Being Humble will make it much easier to handle the ups and downs life will give you.

– Girls are special. Treat them with respect at all times. Open doors for them. Pull out the chair for them. Give them flowers just because. NEVER forget special occasions!

– No matter someones ethnicity, athletic abilities, religious beliefs, political beliefs, where they live, what they wear or what they look like, they are people. Treat them with respect.

– Surround yourself with people of integrity.

– Be a leader. Be an example. Always use your critical thinking skills to come to your own conclusions.

– You will come across many different attitudes in your life. Learn from them about the type of person you want to be and the type you don’t want to be. They all have a purpose.

– Find ways to make a difference in the lives of others. Lift them up. Help them believe in themselves and remember a thousand words of encouragement can be ruined by one belittling comment.

– Beware of your pride and ego. You must control them and not let them control you.

– Take charge, don’t wait for others to do things for you. Success is dependent on YOUR attitude, effort, creativeness, consistency, work ethic, perseverance/grit and trustworthiness.

– When you fail, and you will fail, don’t get bitter, find ways to get better.

– When problems occur, before blaming and making excuses, you must look in the mirror first. Evaluate your actions and choices with sincere honesty. Be accountable for your actions and decisions.

– When everything around you is chaotic, you must be able to keep a clear mind to make the right educated decisions. Practice this often. Breathe.

– Hate will take years off your life. It clouds our judgement and prevents us from seeing the whole picture. Beware of this powerful emotion.

– Protect your family and never be afraid to stick up for others. As much as we don't want to believe it, there IS evil in the world. Always be on your toes.

– Be fearless, be thoughtful, be kind, be passionate and be grateful everyday as tomorrow is NEVER promised.

– When you speak, speak with compassion AND brutal honesty. Sometimes it’s hard to do and difficult for others to hear but necessary for transparency and sincere relationships.

– Stay off your phone while driving. NEVER follow the car in front of you too close and always be aware of what others are doing around you.

– Your mother loves you more than you can imagine. Never fail to realize how much she has done, and does, for you and your brother and sister. When you are out on your own, make sure to be in touch with her often.

– The biggest test for you one day will be when your own child is born. It will test your mental toughness. It will test your relationship. It will force you to really grow up.

– Clean up after yourself, take care of yourself, eat right, make exercise a part of your life, do household chores and push your chair in.

– Never underestimate a firm handshake and eye contact.

– THE most important and toughest job you will have in life will be raising another human being. You will make mistakes but the most important part is learning from them so you can one day teach your own children from those lessons. You are a blessing. I am excited for what lies ahead for you. Life is precious and we never know how long we have. Make the most of what it and enjoy every minute. Son…I Love You. Love, Dad

source - https://x.com/BaseballDudes48

[staticflood]

---SPOILERS FOR SHADOW GENERATIONS---

Ok so hear me out.

I think all these npc choices are meaningful. Showing different ways Shadow lives/thinks or *could* live and think. Think of Shadow 05.

Orbot and Cubot are very simple characters and this game if recall correctly is the first one they've ever been in without Eggman. Which isn't too notable, but it does speak to the one nature of their characters. Mostly in that they serve Eggman.

Sonic Battle was one of the games that touched on this aspect of Shadow's character a lot too. His use as a tool, a weapon to be aimed. He is treated this way by Eggman too, in SA2, Heroes and Shadow 05.

Orbo and Cubone don't really have a place in the story. At this point in Shadow's arc, he is very much assured of his autonomy.

Big The Cat is a phenomenal character, and I will not hear otherwise. He embodies one of the core themes of not just the series but Sonic and Shadow specifically. To live freely and do as you please.

Shadow is defined by making his own decisions. Living by his own code. Big the Cat is him fr.

Shadow throughout this game displays his mean streak. You see him about to explode in anger for the whole first half, and while it slows down in the second half because of Maria, it never goes away. Omega feeds into it like a bonfire so they're best friends.

And friends is a good word. Omega isn't a one-note murder-bot. He's relieved when Rouge is safe. He tells Shadow about how he trusts him. This anger and violence are part of Shadow, but they still leave room for love and compassion.

Shout out to E-123 Omega being the funniest guy in the room in another game btw. Long held record.

Maria and Gerald are very interestingly framed in this game. Shadow's first instinct on seeing them is to protect them. To save them from whatever impending disaster is coming. In what is a very character defining play, Shadow ignores this, squashes it immediately. There's something bigger going on here. And only when he sees them again, the big bad is out of the way does it all come back. That hope, that dream...

Talking to Maria throughout the game does a great job painting a picture of The Ark without the grief-stricken lens of Shadow and Gerald. We get to see the center of a tragedy talking about her home.

Maria shows so much love and honesty that you can see why the grudge about her fate lasted so long. She becomes such an emotional battering ram for Shadow all while she's just happy to talk to her friend.

And interesting point to note, at many times in the game, Maria is horrified by the anger that Shadow displays. What Omega encourages him to do is unfathomable to her, and hammers the point home for Shadow that he isn't theirs.

Their presence reflects what Shadow used to be. Before all of his mew experiences. Which brings us perfectly into who's sitting between Maria and Omega, Rouge.

Rouge is beautiful in this game. She Flys in at the last world and becomes an emotional rock for Shadow. And eventually, who he leaves white Space with. Back to the real world.

Rouge represents his current life. His family, the ones who care about him. Rouge offers the love and acceptance of Maria, with a tacit understanding and respect of his power and brutality.

I love this game. I want more of this. Give shadow his own franchise. Put him in everything. Shadow Frontiers. Shadow Colors. Shadow Spinball

[physalian]

Character Types: The “Likable Autistic”

Already gave a tiny breakdown of this kind of character in Yet another 5 Character Types The World Needs More Of where I had this to say:

Neurodivergence in media is often the butt of the joke. You like these characters in spite of their “quirks” or you find them incredibly annoying because their “quirks” are their entire personality. Usual representations are arrogant and anti-social narcissists who lack compassion. Shockingly, autism is a spectrum, and a very far cry from sociopathy. No one trait should define an entire character, and that includes neurodivergence.

Best character I could think of that does neurodivergence justice without being “cute” and infantilized is Lilo Pelekai, and I’ve posted about her.

Today I’m going to put my money where my mouth is and break down how I approached this kind of character in Eternal Night, with Markus.

Disclaimer:

He is based off me and my experiences, not meant to be a blanket representation of the DSM-5 checklist of autism, nor did I set out to write an autistic character. I set out to write one who’s neurodivergent, and he happens to be a lot like me, and I happen to have a lot of autistic traits (not officially diagnosed) but also a bunch of others, because he’s a person with nuance, not a walking agenda.

Anyway.

—

My goal with writing him, first and foremost, was not to make another Sheldon Cooper. One is enough. I wanted a “character who is also neurodivergent” not “the neurodivergent character” and when neurotypical (and usually straight, white, and cis) creators want to check off boxes on their diversity list, they tend to think of the latter counting as the whole personality.

Markus still fits the mold of the quiet introverted smart guy, but he’s capable of empathy, is the voice of reason to counterbalance his love interest’s “feelings first” decision-making, a bit of a badass able to hold his own in a fight, and witty when he wants to be, as not much intimidates him. And he’s gay and demisexual because I felt like it. Special interests? Cats and vampirism.

Without spoiling my own book too much, when I was sending it out to beta readers, I had a few come back who made it clear they did not like Markus and did not understand him. Reader: These were neurotypicals who needed me to slap an AUTISM label on Markus’s forehead to give his decisions a pass. Which, to me, meant I did a pretty good job writing him correctly.

He’s the obligate doctor of the coven, a former mortician’s apprentice who became a vampire to sate curiosity: He wanted to know what death felt like. His room doesn’t have a bed, just sheets in a pile in the corner and the rest of the space taken up by piles of books, various knicknacks to fiddle with, and all his medical tools (his favorite is the stethoscope).

Making him/giving him a love interest wasn’t planned. Things Happened and Opportunity arose to give both a neurodivergent character, and a demisexual character, a happy, healthy, communicative relationship, and I just couldn’t pass it up. Is he wish-fulfillment for me? 100%.

But so many times I see these characters and, if they do even have a romance, they’re always takers. They “take” in the partnership, but have nothing to give back. The writers insist that there’s something lovable about them without actually writing them doing loving things, that their person, usually a woman, tolerates (usually) him, because… she feels bad, or they can’t write women, or she’s settling because she couldn’t get anyone else, or the only thing competent about him is that he’s decent in bed.

Usually he’s rude and selfish and only thinks of himself, and she bends over backwards doing all the emotional labor, all the “adult” relationship things like home keeping, mothering him not unlike the deadbeat “everyman” protagonist. He’ll insult her and play it off as brutal honesty, he’ll only talk about himself and his interests and cut her out of things the second she becomes a hindrance to his plans, and he overshares about their intimacy to friends, oblivious to how embarrassed she is because he doesn't understand that some things aren't meant to be shared (you know this is really starting to sound like a standard dickish man just with an "ND" sticker like that absolves their behavior of any accountability....).

In essence, they’re “together” but only because the writer says so. They wax poetic about how great she is for him, but have zero supporting evidence for why he's good for her (which is a lot of male protagonists, to be fair).

I didn’t want to do that with Markus and his lover. They’re a team, through and through. Markus’s filtered pragmatism is still honesty-above-feelings, but it’s not brutal honesty. He can ignore “feeling” in the name of the logical solution, no matter how unpopular the logical solution may be. His partner, in turn, is aaaalll “feeling” and quickly Markus’s fiercest defender without infantilizing him or belittling him or stepping on his toes. Markus gives back in his own ways, too, in taking meticulous care of his lover’s tools and weapons among other spoilery things.

Being on the ace and autism spectrum is pretty common, not breaking any new ground there, but I thought the combination of Markus being demi and his lover being a sex-favorable ace was fun. When he got nervous around approaching sex, I got to write him stimming with his favorite comfort objects (his various vintage medical instruments), seemingly random different hardlines on intimacy he likes vs won’t go near, how overstimulation can ruin everything, and how one can feel like they’re wrong or broken for not liking sex—in his case, he just took a while to figure out an emotional attachment is a necessary ingredient for his enjoyment (and, you know, somebody who gives a shit and is patient and attentive).

Markus is also in stark opposition to his lover’s other love interest (this book kind of has a love-pentagon going on). He’s mature and independent and knows exactly what he wants in a relationship, to a person who’ll bend over backward trying to make everyone happy at his own expense.

He also is new to this “love” thing and he does have his emotional shortcomings. He's unable to understand why XYZ is so important or so meaningful or why Person F continues to repeat such-and-such behavior that clearly only brings them grief and upset or why Person G continues to shoot themselves in the foot. His pragmatism does come at inopportune moments and it frustrates other characters who aren’t looking for a solution, just room to vent.

Markus doesn’t get a ton of screen time and only a couple narrating POVS, but I took every chance I could get to write what I think is both a multifaceted character and relationship to admire.

—

Sooooo, if you’d like to read him in full HD technicolor, you can pick up a copy of Eternal Night of the Northern Sky in ebook or paperback.

[daught3rs]

𝑱𝑶́𝑮𝑨.

Arriving at THE LIBRARY ⟳ ˚ ╱ written for @baarra !

𝗠𝗘𝗥𝗬𝗟 𝗗𝗢𝗘𝗦 𝗡𝗢𝗧 𝗪𝗜𝗦𝗛 𝗧𝗢 𝗪𝗘𝗔𝗥 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗜𝗡𝗦 𝗢𝗙 𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗚𝗡𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡 𝗔𝗚𝗔𝗜𝗡. Nineteen years were spent in a living purgatory — fear pressed into every corner of her existence, its weight bound to her by silence, by defilement, by fists, by eyes that turned away while the labyrinth she called home twisted into something cruel. Safety had been a hollow promise, a mocking ghost of what it should have been. That was a lifetime’s worth of torment for any soul to endure.

Now, loneliness curls like smoke around her, strange and sharp. Cheryl, her companion and shadow since the womb, had been her constant — a hand always there to grip through thirty-four years of survival no matter how little she had reached for it. Cheryl was the light, the warmth, the ANCHOR. And with her death, Meryl drifted into an uncharted sea, untethered. The ache of being unseen lingered, relentless. It is why she withdrew behind the patchwork curtains of her little docked boat, opening them only at night to gaze upon the monsters outside.

There is peace in them. Honesty.

They wore their monstrosity OPENLY, unashamed and viscerally haunting. Meryl could understand that. She’d always done better when she could name the shape of her fears.

The scale of what’s been lost is beyond measure. Any flicker of doubt left in the sprawling dark of her heart has been extinguished, a star COLLAPSING into oblivion. Cheryl had been radiant, aglow in whites and sky blues that defied the brutality she endured. Cheryl was the compass, the North Star guiding her. Without her, Meryl’s own light faltered, dwindled, and disappeared. Meryl carries no glow, no shimmer of silver or cosmic blaze — maybe she never has. But there’s a stark beauty in the reflection she sees now: the fragile poetry of decay. Her pallor is ash and bone, her grief etched into her every line. The cycles of death and rebirth — withered but unbroken — are written across her skin.

She’s a writer. She knows how to find meaning in ruins. Her long, curly auburn hair hangs in disarray, shadows weigh heavy under her eyes, and her hands tremble like leaves in a storm. Baby, you’ve never looked better, she thinks to herself with bitter mirth. She’s never had the luxury of falling apart — not like this. The cold burns her skin, her thoughts weave and UNRAVEL like frayed threads. The pride that once carried her, the defiance that dared the universe to try and strike her down, has been battered into silence. Grief has hollowed her out, leaving no space for the pseudo playfullness that once kept her upright; that had been reserved solely for her sister.

She broke in the forest, screaming her anguish to the indifferent trees, drawing only the wrong kind of company. After that, isolation became suffocation. Arcadia’s narrow confines pressed in from every side — so few places to go, so many people to avoid. The whispers in her mind followed her everywhere, seeping into the delicate shelter of the boat. If she couldn’t quiet them, she’d unravel completely. She’d tear through the fragile peace and order the others had built, scatter their happiness to the winds. She’d feed them all to the same monsters that wore human faces and took Cheryl in the night. Like a CEREMONIAL sacrifice — just so they could feel a modicum of what she does.

Instead, she gathered enough strength to stumble into the library, the closest thing to salvation this town could offer her. She’s been here for an hour — or maybe a lifetime — searching without knowing what she’s SEEKING. Dusty tomes, their titles long worn away, feel like relics unearthed from the wreckage. She brushes away layers of neglect, her movements slow and deliberate, waiting for something — anything — to break through the void. Her focus is so singular she almost forgets the man sharing the space. But her instincts, honed by years of maltreatment, won’t let her ignore him. Every step he takes, she mirrors in retreat, maintaining a gulf between them. She prays — for the first time in decades — he won’t speak to her, won’t acknowledge her presence.

But prayers have never been kind to Meryl. God has always been a quiet, EMPTY absence.

[m-for-musings]

@unreadpoppy tagged me in a WIP Wednesday post once but it got lost in my feed and I got lost in time so there it goes. Also I wished to know what's @jellymellydraws is up to? Hum? Hum?? (no pressure and no obligation, view this as a plead for another snippet of I've Got You, if you want to share it please tag me :B)

WIP WEDNESDAY

(very late, tho)

His voice faltered, caught in his throat. He hadn't spoken of it until now, and the words seemed to choke him, refusing to be uttered. “When I got there, he was…” The memories, once pushed aside, now surged forward, wrapping around his heart like suffocating vines. “I took his life.” “You spared the elder from a miserable existence and his family from a painful burden,” Minthara responded simply. Of course she would say so. Her upbringing in the unforgiving depths of the Underdark had shaped her perspective on such matters. “Taking care of those important to you is not a burden, Minthara,” Halsin replied, his eyes filled with sorrow. “I had no right to do what I did. Not without their consent.” “Bold of you to assume that desperate relatives around a deathbed would make reasonable decisions,” she countered. “They came to me for healing—” “They came to you for aid, as every single unfortunate soul in this place, and many others, do. And you aided them. You spared his children from the helplessness of watching their father deteriorate daily. You saved his widow from the arduous task of tending to his every need, neglecting her own. You prevented the despair, the exhaustion, the anger, and the prolonged grief of watching a loved one’s life slip away. You are their leader. They came to you for your aid and guidance. They came to you because they trust your judgment. You should trust it too.” For a moment, he felt strangely comforted by her blunt assessment. The guilt that had been gnawing at him eased, replaced by a reluctant acknowledgment of the truth in her words. She spoke with a brutal honesty that resonated with him, stripping away the layers of self-reproach he had wrapped around himself. Yet, this newfound clarity brought with it a new, confusing guilt. How could he find solace in her words, knowing the pain he had caused? He agreed with Minthara, and that agreement made him uneasy. It felt wrong to find comfort in the pragmatism that dismissed the emotional complexities of the situation. He grappled with this internal conflict, torn between his moral compass and the logic of her perspective, that seemed so undeniable.

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Eugene Sledge wrote "With the Old Breed: At Peleliu and Okinawa" "Based on notes Sledge secretly kept in a copy of the New Testament, With the Old Breed captures with utter simplicity and searing honesty the experience of a soldier in the fierce Pacific Theater. Here is what saved, threatened, and changed his life. Here, too, is the story of how he learned to hate and kill—and came to love—his fellow man. “In all the literature on the Second World War, there is not a more honest, realistic or moving memoir than Eugene Sledge’s. This is the real deal, the real war: unvarnished, brutal, without a shred of sentimentality or false patriotism, a profound primer on what it actually was like to be in that war. It is a classic that will outlive all the armchair generals’ safe accounts of—not the ‘good war’—but the worst war ever.”—Ken Burns

+

My last conversation with my father before his death was about this book. I had purchased it for him and sent it to him. During a visit, I asked him if he'd read it [he was a veteran of the Pacific war in WWII]. He pulled the book out from a stack beside him and he said he'd read "every word." That it was the best book he'd ever read about the War and he wished he'd written it. He wept.

What followed was the most he ever shared with me about the War. Here are some quotes from Sledge's book:

“As I crawled out of the abyss of combat and over the rail of the Sea Runner, I realized that compassion for the sufferings of others is a burden to those who have it. As Wilfred Owen's poem "Insensibility" puts it so well, those who feel most of others suffer most in war.” ― Eugene B. Sledge With the Old Breed + “In writing I am fulfilling an obligation I have long felt to my comrades in the 1st Marine Division, all of whom suffered so much for our country. None came out unscathed. Many gave their lives, many their health, and some their sanity. All who survived will long remember the horror they would rather forget. But they suffered and they did their duty so a sheltered homeland can enjoy the peace that was purchased at such high cost. We owe those Marines a profound debt of gratitude.” ― Eugene B. Sledge, With the Old Breed: At Peleliu and Okinawa + “I am the harvest of man’s stupidity. I am the fruit of the holocaust. I prayed like you to survive, but look at me now. It is over for us who are dead, but you must struggle, and will carry the memories all your life. People back home will wonder why you can’t forget.” ― Eugene B. Sledge, With the Old Breed: At Peleliu and Okinawa + “Sitting in stunned silence, we remembered our dead. So many dead. So many maimed. So many bright futures consigned to the ashes of the past. So many dreams lost in the madness that had engulfed us. Except for a few widely scattered shouts of joy, the survivors of the abyss sat hollow-eyed and silent, trying to comprehend a world without war.” ― Eugene B. Sledge, With the Old Breed: At Peleliu and Okinawa + “None of us would ever be the same after what we had endured. To some degree that is true, of course, of all human experience. But something in me died at Peleliu. Perhaps it was a childish innocence that accepted as faith the claim that man is basically good. Possibly I lost faith that politicians in high places who do not have to endure war's savagery will ever stop blundering and sending other to endure it.” ― Eugene B. Sledge, With the Old Breed: At Peleliu and Okinawa

+

My father and my relationship was "troubled" you might say. Our last conversation helped me in the years since his death to forgive him for many things, understanding what he was carrying.

I asked him in our conversation "How old were you then?" And he said "19."

[crazgazze]

i hate people that pride themselves on being brutally honest. honesty without compassion is cruelty. you're not blunt, you're just an asshole.

[b-intuitive]

New Moon In Virgo

˖ ࣭ ࣪ ✦ ࣭ ֗ ♆ ࣩ ࣪ ⋆ ࣭ ࣪ ✷ ࣭ ࣪ ࣺ ㅤㅤ˖ ࣭ ࣪ ✦ ࣭ ֗ ♆ ࣩ ࣪ ⋆

˖ ࣭ ࣪ ✦ ࣭ ֗ ♆ ࣩ ࣪ ⋆ ࣭ ࣪ ✷ ࣭ ࣪ ࣺ ㅤㅤ˖ ࣭ ࣪ ✦ ࣭ ֗ ♆ ࣩ ࣪ ⋆

Allow this new Moon in Virgo during September 2023 to help you accept your worth and cultivate a life that is full of everything you deserve

Begin to teach yourself that you are worthy of love, acceptance, and fulfilled dreams. You do not have to be perfect to receive love and be worthy. You are enough right now.

We may even judge our worth on what we do, not who we are.

Is there anything causing you doubt, telling you that you are unworthy, or preventing you from believing you are capable of manifesting your visions?

Virgo is also the sign of organization. She reminds us that to reach our highest visions, we must declutter our minds and hearts. As you form your intentions this new Moon, feel if any energies pull you back.

This new moon in detail-oriented Virgo is an excellent time to get organized, whether it's planning the next few months or tying up loose ends in your life.

If Virgo is present in your natal chart, focus on the area of your life it represents.

Ask yourself how you can be your best self in that aspect without striving for perfection. Self-compassion is key.

What do you want your life to look like in five or ten years?

What can you do today to help you get there?

˖ ࣭ ࣪ ✦ ࣭ ֗ ♆ ࣩ ࣪ ⋆ ࣭ ࣪ ✷ ࣭ ࣪ ࣺ ㅤㅤ˖ ࣭ ࣪ ✦ ࣭ ֗ ♆ ࣩ ࣪ ⋆

New Moon Tarot Spread

The fresh start and opportunities that lie ahead

Ace of Pentacles The world around you is full of possibilities and promise right now. Engage with it, go on a bike ride, take a bath, make some tea, plant some flowers and enthrall your sense. You are in this world, on this planet, so live life and let good things come to you.

The intentions you should set during the moon cycle

4 of swords The struggle is real, and you're goddam exhausted. You've been putting in time and energy fully into all the outer aspects of your life, like friends, your relationships or your job, and you have forgotten to care for yourself. You are worn out, so take a break. relax, close your eyes, meditate. Take a nap. Do what you need to in order to recharge.

What you need to release

The hanged man Finally, it's the calm after the storm. You might have just had some tough battles of obstacles to conquer, but now it's time to relax a bit. Meditate, slow down, nurture your body and soul. You might have to sacrifice something in order to reach this state of zen, but don't worry. There is not right or wrong way to do it. it may even feel like your self-care routine is a little strange to others, but this process is crucial for you to embrace who you are and to free yourself of others' expectations and demands.

Steps you can take to manifest your intentions

Queen of swords The Queen has unflinching perception and con cut to the truth of the matter in seconds. She can be blunt, brutally honest and very forward. But just because she's truthful doesn't mean she's lacking compassion and humour. She's still understanding, because she can truly see the entire situation for what it is. If you're the Queen, it's time to set emotions aside and try to view things intelligently, with clarity and honesty.

The potential manifestation of your intentions

8 of Swords You're feeling trapped, blinded, unable to take action because all your swords are stuck in the ground and they seem too difficult to pull out. But these ropes aren't very tight and with a little struggle , they'd fall off. Don't surrender to hopelessness and negativity. You might have made some mistakes that have gotten you here, but you have the skills you'll need to get yourself out of this situation.

˖ ࣭ ࣪ ✦ ࣭ ֗ ♆ ࣩ ࣪ ⋆ ��� ࣪ ✷ ࣭ ࣪ ࣺ ㅤㅤ˖ ࣭ ࣪ ✦ ࣭ ֗ ♆ ࣩ ࣪ ⋆

New moon intentions:

Create a self care routine

Map out goals for FY23

Revamp planner/organization system

Manifest a pay raise

˖ ࣭ ࣪ ✦ ࣭ ֗ ♆ ࣩ ࣪ ⋆ ࣭ ࣪ ✷ ࣭ ࣪ ࣺ ㅤㅤ˖ ࣭ ࣪ ✦ ࣭ ֗ ♆ ࣩ ࣪ ⋆

[glittering-darmallon]

Rate Your OC- Canelo de Riva

Compassion: 8/10- He cares a lot about people, but is reluctant to care because he's afraid to get close to anyone only to lose them too. Still, he gives money to all the beggars he sees. Is willing to help the little folk, and despite being stoic is kind to his companions

Bitterness: 5/10- Is it bitterness? Or is it sadness and grief? Hell if he knows

Happiness: 0/10- dude is dealing with MAJOR depression in the beginning of the game. As the game progresses though, and he builds a found family, no longer feeling so abjectly lonely, this moves up to a solid 5/10- Healing takes time, and he has a lot of it to do. Interestingly enough, Emmrich  helps a lot with this: His thoughts on death and offer to try and summon Zaffa and Zenza's spirits for closure if Canelo wants goes a long way (Canelo is unlikely to ever take him up on the offer. He's terrified that his siblings' spirits will tell him they hate him for failing to protect them)

Politeness: 7/10 he's gruff and sad, but unless someone truly deserves it, he doesn't go out of his way to be rude. Even when someone asks for brutal honesty, he will still choose kinder words to say something negative. (This is the guy who despite being an assassin refuses to use poisons because they are crueler than not, causing more pain than necessary and goes for a quick kill shot in the neck near the jugular or carotid because it's fast with less worry about hitting a rib or armor and not penetrating deep enough. He's full of love. It's just trapped behind fifty layers of trauma and depression)

Chivalry: 10/10- There is absolutely no reason not to hold a door for someone, not offer help if you are able and they may need it- They can say no to the help after all. He doesn't understand the selfishness of not showing common courtesy [this is chivalrous right?]. The only time he might not is if he is lost in his head and not paying attention, but then it's not a lack of chivalry, it’s a lack of awareness, and he will apologize for not  noticing

Pride: 5/10- Sometimes more, sometimes less, But I think a 5 would be most accurate

Honesty: 3/10 it depends on what he's trying to hide- he is very unforthcoming about himself, his feelings, and past. To gain any knowledge of this aspect of his takes a phenomenal amount of trust that few will ever gain. That being said, he is not going out of his way most of the time to lie about anything else.

Bravery: 7/10- He isn't a coward, and he doesn't run from a fight…but he is a sniper so he's not in the thick of things. And he prefers it this way. I don't know if that constitutes a lack of bravery though.

Recklessness: 3/10- He is seldom reckless. Especially in combat, he will find a spot and wait. And wait. And wait. And it came from years  of raising his siblings- He was naturally cautious to keep them all safe- Hasn't lost that yet

Ambition: 2/10 Honestly, he would have been happy with a simple life . He didn't want fame or notoriety. He still doesn’t want that, but it comes with the job

Loyalty: 10/10- earn his trust and he will never betray you

Love: 10/10 There is so much love in this wounded guy. He just is scared to show it  and care because he has lost so much

Sense of Family: ?/10 I don't know how to answer this. He knows he's lost his family but he's  fond enough of Viago and Teia for them to feel like family and he grows to think of the entire Veilguard as family,  soooo it's tough

Attractiveness: 8/10 I mean, I purposely make hot characters because if I have to look at them for 100 hours I am making them hot, however he knows he's attractive. More than one Crow (Without knowing his background) suggested assassination via honeypot because he's pretty.  He doesn't even think his scar is a detriment

Agility: 10/10 - He's an archer and an assassin….he reeks of dexterity

Sex Drive: 6/10- he likes sex, but he doesn't need it currently. He's more just touch starved and wants affection at the moment.