#honestly though they both occupy so much of my brain it’s truly embarrassing

[skeletonzimms]

sometimes i forget jack zimmermann is kinda based on sidney crosby and then i see a panel like this

and he’s doing the sidney crosby baby bird face!!!

[minnaci]

fushiguro toji x gn!reader · nsfw · wc: 1.4k

no pregnant, just breed.

contents: HEAVY BREEDING KINK (no pregnant, just breed, as the title implies), cumming inside (reader receiving), heavy daddy kink (reader calls toji "daddy", no age-play), penetrative sex (reader receiving), unrealistic cervix stimulation (reader receiving), one (1) brief check-in, self-aware over-the-top dirty talk (which both toji and reader semi-begrudgingly enjoy), gratuitous descriptions of cum, it's just self-indulgent smut i am cringe but i am FREE

reader details: reader has a vagina (referred to as a "pussy"), a clitoris, and a cervix. they are physically unable to become pregnant, which is implied to be a deliberate choice.

a/n: thank you to my beloved monty @shibaraki for sponsoring this truly self-indulgent flash-fic through @ficsforgaza! i got a little carried away... this was supposed to be around 500 words... ahsdkjf gg no re

"i don't wanna get pregnant, daddy," you choke the words out through every devastating, soul-wrenching thrust. his cock throbs inside of you. ah, there it is— toji's ever-reliable breeding kink.

you both know you can't get pregnant. it's no longer biologically possible for you, nor does toji actually want another kid. but damn if pretending you don't want to be bred full and heavy doesn't get toji going.

"mmm, i know, baby, but your body is just begging for it..." he pushes your thighs further against your chest, making your muscles ache with the stretch and letting him get impossibly deeper. the tip of his cock kisses your cervix, and you yelp— a real one, a pained one, nothing like the sugary-sweet sobs you fake when you really want toji to wreck you.

toji pulls back immediately. your pussy gapes, mourning his loss. "color?"

"green," you say. the loss of his touch sends tremors through your skin. you reach for him, and he comes to you easily, blanketing you with his weight and pressing a sweet kiss to your temple. "why? you?"

"you sounded like you were hurting, but i'm green if you are."

"you know i like when you hurt me," you say, letting your breath wash over the shell of his ear. you can feel the way his spine shudders, arches into you— all that power, all that desire, brimming under your hands. "and you were so deep, daddy, you were fucking my cervix. it hurt so, so good."

there's a tense silence. the beginnings of embarrassment make your cheeks warm. did you finally reach the limits of toji's depravity? was the dirty talk finally too cringe?

"baby," toji growls— a real, actual growl, what the hell— and captures your lips in a bruising kiss. "you're so fucking hot. what the fuck. why was that so fucking hot?"

with an internal sigh of relief, you mentally check "cervix kink" off on the list in your head. bingo.

"can you please kiss my cervix again?" you pout and cup his face in your hands, playing up the part of sweet, spoiled pet. "it misses you, daddy."

if his hands weren't occupied with lining his cock up with your needy entrance, you're sure toji would be pulling his hair out. he makes a hopelessly aroused noise— something close to a whimper, though you're sure he'd deny it if asked— and sinks back into you, inch by unyielding, unforgiving inch.

the tip of his cock finds your weakest spot again without much trouble. you can't help but clench tight, muscles contracting against your will as he circles his hips.

"there," you gasp, chest trembling. "right— right there, again, yes yes yes—"

his gaze sharpens as you sob and writhe on his cock. honestly, it's almost concerning how easily he makes your brain go fuzzy. pleasure clouds your consciousness, and you melt around his cock. any semblance of an act dissolves into nothingness as he fucks you with deep, devastating thrusts. "are all of those pretty noises for me, baby?"

"nnngh," you whimper through a truly devious roll of his hips. you're so full you can hardly stand it.

"mhm, very eloquent," he says, an amused crinkle at the corner of his eyes. for all that you know how to push his buttons, he know how to push yours right back. there's a deliciously patronizing edge to his tone when he speaks again. "there's my baby, using their big, smart words, like 'nngh' and 'ungh'."

"stop," you whine, protest breaking on a pitchy moan. it sounds enough like toji's mocking imitation of your noises that your cheeks flush with warmth. "you're being mean."

"i am, aren't i?" he purrs. the rough pad of his thumb finds your clit. your body instinctively tries to move away, overwhelmed by the sensation, but toji's weight keeps you trapped underneath him. there's nothing you can do but accept it— accept the firm circles against your clit, the aching pressure of the tip of his cock against your cervix, the heavy slap of his balls against your skin. "but you like it."

"no, i— i don't." an obvious lie. you both know it, based on the way toji grins at you, all teeth.

"silly thing." he tilts your hips up a bit, enough to bully his way deeper inside of you. "of course you do. look at you— just a few mean words and you're making a mess all over the sheets."

he's right— you're dripping. the slick, lewd sounds of your pleasure fill the room every time he moves his hips against yours. it's messy, filthy, wet— a perfect cocktail of hormones and arousal that makes your brain melt and leak out of your needy pussy.

submission comes easily enough when all you can think of how good toji is to you, how grateful you are to have a lover who knows your body even better than you know yourself. toji tears you apart with the hunger of a feral wolf, and the parting of your flesh under his fangs is sweeter than sin.

"feels so hot, daddy—" you gasp, clinging to him. heat pools between your legs, burning through the last of your sanity. he's your lifeline, your rock, the only thing preventing you from getting lost in this wildfire of pleasure. his cock is thick enough to rub up against every sweet spot you have without trying, but the sensations only grow more intense when he grinds his hips, stirring up your insides. "please, 's too hot, 'm gonna—!"

"go ahead, honey. give it to me."

his thumb catches against your clit just right, and the heat in your core boils over. you tumble over the edge, mind whiting out and eyes rolling back into your skull. toji's cock is big and heavy inside of you, and your pussy milks him shamelessly. the tip of his cock presses against the hungry mouth of your cervix in a lewd, aching kiss.

toji fucks you through your orgasm, letting you grind and ride out all of your shakes and shivers on his thick cock. he huffs a laugh as you finally flop back into the pillows, gazing up at him with a sweet, tired smile, even as your pussy flutters around him, aching for just a little more. "there you are. there's my baby, going all soft for me. you gonna let me breed you now?"

his cock feels so good that you can hardly think, much less speak, but raw, unfettered greed claws at your ribs, loosens your tongue just enough for you to mewl out a soft, "please, daddy."

to your dismay, he pulls out, leaving just the tip of his cock inside. he strokes the part of his shaft that he can reach, using your cum as his lube. the wet sounds are sickeningly hot, and your pussy reacts, kissing and milking at his fat cockhead as if to try and coax him just a bit deeper.

"fuck." his eyes lock on place where your body welcomes him in, still so eager, so wet. his stroking speeds up, a lewd little fap-fap-fap as his jaw hangs slack. "baby," he gasps, hips trembling. "baby."

"please," you say, mustering the strength to cup his face in your hands. he looks at you, looking nearly drunk on his pleasure. the sheer bliss in his dazed expression nearly makes you cum again. "please, daddy, please cum in me. my pussy needs it."

"fuck," he groans, capturing your lips in a messy kiss as his cock throbs out spurt after spurt of cum into your wanting pussy. with the way his cockhead sits at the mouth of your pussy, you can feel his cum leaking in deep, dripping down your walls to warm your aching cervix. finally, some fretful, restless instinct inside you settles, appeased by the warm, creamy dribble of his seed.

"so good." he squeezes his cock in his fist, milking out the last drops of cum. his fingers tremble as he guides his softening cock inside of you, using it to push his cum even deeper inside. "look at you, so sweet now that you've been bred. i should keep you like this all the time— spread open in my bed with my cum in your fucking womb. would you like that?"

"no pregnant," you say a familiar sort of sweet, post-sex giddiness washing over you. you giggle. "but okay."

he laughs, sounding a bit delirious himself. "of course, baby. i know. no pregnant. just breed."

networks: @houseofsolisoccasum @interstellar-inn

[moxfirefly]

I!! Have an request!! If you want, thats up to you! But how about the turtles have a friend (the reader) and no matter what they see hints of or how it seems she just doesnt seem to be in a relationship ever and then leo starts acting "odd" (in love) and one day michelangelo of all people catches leo and the reader in a romantic (or heated) moment! What do you think would happen? How would they handle their older brother in love? 😂 i just thought itd be a funny one-shot

Ok I’ve been wanting to tackle this for a while now and ima do my best for you friend, also I hope this reaches cause I know it’s been tough so I send you lots of love💕

Blue boi all in lovey dovey

Rated Mature (Romance but will a little sprinkle of smut) 18+ Only

Raphael squinted his eyes.

For the past twenty-two minutes he’d been wondering what was wrong with this picture. His breakfast was getting cold and he’d even neglected to smack Mikey’s hand away when he stole a piece of bacon off his place.

Raphael took pride in his observation skills, often he noticed plenty of things in his environment but while Donatello ran commentary on it he usually kept the information to himself. He shared a room with his youngest brother so he knew any odd shift when it came to Mikey. He is very close with Donnie, spending a few sleepless nights by his side while the genius tinkered away at projects, even lending a hand here and there.

Leonardo for all of his hard headed ways and their personality clashes, he felt he knew him well enough too. The leader though, was much more guarded in his emotions which made for some difficult moments to completely gage his older brother.

You on the other hand were an open book, plenty of times he’d spent time with you, getting to know plenty of your ticks and thoughts. Raph considered you a close friend, a confidant he could turn to.

But as you all sat together for a late breakfast. Mikey inhaling his while Donnie’s overworked eyes looked into his coffee cup as if lifes answers laid there, Leo and you were just sitting there, suspiciously.

You were still in your sleep wear, Leo’s groggy movements mechanical as he ate on autopilot. You yawned reaching for a coffee refill and without command or hesitation Leo had pushed the creamer and sugar towards you, going so far to place the exact amount of both in your mug. You had given him a sweet smile, reaching a hand to thumb a crumb away from the corner of his mouth.

Raphael raised a brow ridge, well naturally that could translate to common kindness. You all knew each other, often April had in some form or shape probably done something similar. He poked a few pieces of eggs into his mouth, now he was intrigued.

He picked up a few more instances where his curiosities got the better of him.

For instance one afternoon while you were over he had decided to gather info. Raphael had kitchen duty and you had stuck around to help him out. “What’s up with you?” A common not so invasive question, you shrugged. “Same old, same old” You gathered plates to set the table. Raphael kept his gaze at the task at hand, cutting tomatoes for the sauce he was preparing. “Yeah but have you done anything? Gone out with friends? Maybe found your future husband?” He chuckled even more so when you nudged him with an elbow. “A forget you have a sense humor under all that angst” Raph smiled, the two of you often bickered Iike this.

Truth be told you had never mentioned a boyfriend or a girlfriend, the subject was never really breached. With the amount of time you spent in the sewers with them it never came up if you had some partner or if you even were dating. Raphael added the tomatoes into a pot, you joined his side ready to help with more cutting of condiments.

Then Leo arrived and he felt the air shift, he peaked a glance at you, a small smile playing on your lips. Leo in turn greeting the two of you before he made his way towards the fridge to retrieve something to drink. “Want something?” He asked from the fridge and honest to God Raph was very sure he wasn’t asking him. You nodded extending a hand for the soda he gave you, he leaned against the fridge and chatted you up as nonchalant as ever.

Nothing in the small chat raised any flags, Raph’s sauce almost burning from how intently he was concentrating of quite literally eavesdropping on you two. You laughed at something he mentioned, that was bizarre because Leo was seriously not even funny but he could be biased on that end.

“Your hair looks pretty that way” Leo spoke, a tad bit shyly. Raph stirred the sauce, brow ridges shooting up, ‘real smooth big bro’ he couldn’t help but think. Then again he had probably at some point told April the same thing, well they all had commented on April being pretty in all manners of ways.

But this felt just the taddest bit different?

He excused himself having to get back to whatever he was doing. Raph squatted to get something from the bottom cupboards, he didn’t miss the blush on your cheeks.

“Yer hair does look nice like that” He tested, you beamed brightly at him. “Thank you, you’re very sweet when you put your heart into it” She teased smacking a hand towel at him.

Inconclusive results.

For now.

This stupid notion continued to bother Raphael, curiosity would kill the turtle in this case. He wanted to know if truly something was amiss there and you both being friends he wondered why you just hadn’t flat out told him what was up. Nevertheless he couldn’t drop the bomb on you, you could be motorfide or maybe deny it to high hell. Asking Leonardo was out of the question, he sure as hell wouldn’t say a thing.

So Raphael kept his gaze glued as you parted ways for the night. You gave a hug and kiss to everybody, quite normal for your loving nature. He got his hug and kiss, so did Donnie, April and Mikey. Once you landed on Leo you did the same.

He could’ve sworn you lingered a little more, going so far as to whisper something to him because Leo gave a little huff of a laughter and smiled. He definitely slid his hand away from your lower back quite slowly.

Maybe, just maybe...

One patrol night he got stuck with Leo while Mikey and Donnie were doing rounds on the truck. They were scouting out a bank that was rumored to be hit soon by a group of robbers. Raph didn’t mention you, in fact he patiently waited for these robbers to possibly show up.

Something vibrated and his gaze landed on Leo who was reaching a hand into his pocket to pull out his phone. His concentrated and serious featured softening with whatever he read on the screen. He typed back something quick, shaking his head from whatever image or words or whatever had been provoked out of him. “Everything good?” Raphael asked, Leo nodded as if back to ‘normal’ and that absolutely was suspicious in his book.

That night didn’t yield any resolution and honestly it’s around this time that Raph regrets this little task that had occupied his time. He had originally decided to leave it as inconclusive, at some point You two dummies had to say or do something. He had been rummaging his room for his hand wraps, more than ready to get his nightly workout in order. When he had come up empty handed he exited towards Leo’s room, he always had them which annoyed the red banded brute.

His first mistake was not knocking or making his incoming presence known. A rookie mistake considering he lived with three young adult brothers.

His second mistake was just barging in like he owned the place. An annoyed “Jesus Leo quick taking my shit” spewing out of him.

If mistakes One and Two had been adverted he wouldn’t be standing here, wide eyed and frozen.

Because he really didn’t need to see his brother stark ass naked on top of his best friend who he basically considered a little sister, equally naked to boot. There was a solid fifteen seconds where Raphael didn’t know if he running out was the best option, mumbling a ‘shit my bad’ was better or if covering his eyes and screaming at his brother that he better be a gentlemen to you cause you’re a great gal.

Leonardo’s hands cupped your exposed breast for modesty sake, the need for the ground to dramatically open up and swallow him whole heavy in his mind. You had squeaked when Raph barged in, hands super glued to Leo’s rear and god why couldn’t you scream and let go and scream some more.

Raphael finally turned around, an embarrassed heat breaking over his body as he groaned in disgust. “Shit fuck, sorry sorry! I didn’t see shit!” Oh but he did and oh did he crave bleach. “Raph get out! This is why you knock!” Leo chucked a pillow at his brothers shell. You had finally let go of Leo’s rear, covering your face in mortification. “Hang a sock or something outside then!! I can’t read minds!” Raph bellowed.

Mistake number 3 happened because Raphael was a drama Queen through and through and the shouting only helped to alert his brothers towards the room.

“Can you two not fight for five whole minu-OH GOD SORRY!” Donatalleo had exited as quickly as he had approached the room. Mikey thankfully barely saw anything since Raph and Donnie yanked him out which Leo was thankful, he knew Mikey would never let this situation go.

A very quiet hour passed by.

Nobody wanting to say anything. Mikey had left for the tunnels to skateboard for a while. Donnie had thrown himself into truck repairs not even wanting to discuss what his eyes had briefly seen.

And Raphael had sat on the couch, every few minutes making a face whenever his brain decided to bring back the nights events. He heard movement from Leo’s room, the small pitter patter that belonged to your feet. Raph kept his gaze down, whatever playing on the tv long forgotten, he saw your feet when they tentatively approached the couch.

“Um Raph” Your tone was hushed.

“Didn’t see anything, matter of fact nothing happened” Raph grabbed the remote, you sat down and sighed. “Listen you weren’t the one with your tits out here” You crossed your arms grumbling, Raph almost chortled but then he remembered Leo and simply made a face.

“Why didn’t you tell me you and him were a thing? We’re friends, I mean you can do better but you know” He smiled when he felt your elbow smack his arm. “He’s really nice don’t be so mean” You sat back on the corner, Raph looked at you, you were wearing an oversized shirt clearly spending the night.

“Sorry for ah, not knocking” Raph spoke softly.

“Sorry for no telling you I had it bad for your brother” You smirked, enjoying Raph’s disgruntled expression.

You scooted close and hugged his massive arm, Raph smiled. “He better be good to ya... and well, don’t break his heart, he’s an ass but he’s my big brother” You nodded against his arm.

You had stayed for a little before returning back to Leo’s room, the leader was reading on his bed but quickly looked up when you came in. “Everything alright?” He asked tentatively. You nodded climbing into bed and in between his legs to lay on him. “We could’ve so gone a better way telling everybody, at least it’s out and we can just be ourselves” You rested against him, Leo’s chin a top your head.

He wrapped his arms tightly around you and smiled. “I’m never living this down but I’m happy we can just be ourselves” He poked your sides earning an earnest squeal from you.

Outside Raphael could hear the quiet giggling and laughter. He was happy for the two of you, it made sense.

Mikey walked in, board in hand and sweaty from skating for hours.

“So Leo loses his V card first, huh brah?”

Raphael groaned.

[darthmaulification]

din djarin nsfw alphabet

A/N: i STILL have writer’s block when it comes to all the other stuff i have to get done that it’s INFURIATING. 🙄😤😡 i literally write two (2) sentences, and then my head says “no thoughts, all done :)”.

so anons still waiting on your stuff, have faith, i will get them done eventually!! 🙏🙏😭😭

but i want to get more stuff out more regularly, so take another nsfw alphabet, my brain is melting. 💗

(again, i imply fem!afab!reader and also, there is sensitive content (abortion) under X)

nsfw below the cut! 😘

A = aftercare (what are they like after sex?)

Din may be a bit unsure at first, but he is so sweet when it comes to aftercare. He’s got a caring nature already, and when it comes to making sure you’re clean, comfortable, and content after sex, Din is very soft and gentle. He’ll be asking you the whole time about what you need, how you’re feeling, complimenting and praising you for being perfect. Once he’s done making sure you’re okay, Din will conclude every time with kisses and cuddles, holding you close to him all the while whispering to you in Basic and Mando’a about how much he loves you.

B = body part (what’s their favorite body part of their partner? what about themselves?)

Honestly, Din has spent so long without showing someone else any part of him, that he is fairly insecure about how he looks. He’s a tad... embarrassed by his body, because he wants it to be perfect for you, but he doesn’t feel like it is (of course, you think he’s perfect). Din has a lot of self-criticisms, he worries that he’s too old for you, that his nose is too big for your liking, that he’s got a soft tummy and not like men your age. So Din doesn’t have a favorite body part, he’ll just like anything that you like.

Now on you... Din is a big fan of your face. He comes from a culture where one’s face is kept hidden unless you’re family or spouse, so to have you in all your glory and beauty is almost overwhelming to him. He loves your eyes especially (windows to the soul, and all), how they’re so expressive, what they look like when he’s fucked you cockdumb... all glossy and hazed... Din also loves your lips in particular too, the smile that tugs them up, what they look like when you say his name... and for another obvious reason that tends to happen when you’re below his belt on your knees...

(Also Din is a boobie man, full stop).

C = cum (basically anything to do with cum)

Din cums a lot, and he wants it all over you. If you let him, he’ll splatter his nut on your face, belly, breasts, ass, and other places that he loves and wants marked. He likes seeing you all messy and sticky, covered in the stuff that he creates just for you. Din goes kinda feral though if you beg him to cum inside you, allow him to bottom out and let loose past your tight cervix straight into your womb... makes his brain fizzle out. Also, Din’s cum tastes abnormally sweet, almost too sugary, much like the sweet man himself.

D = dirty secret (what’s their dirty secret?)

Din wants to be cucked. Like he really wants to watch someone else fuck you (consensually, of course), and him not being able to do anything about it. It’d be such a fucking tease and edge for him that the thought makes him feel some sort of way in his pants.

Also, not so much of a secret but still dirty, Din can play the role of a dom to a T, but in his heart, he’s a sub. Just take the reins on day, there’s not much he’d be compelled to do to stop you.

E = experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Most, if not all, of Din’s sexual experiences before you were clumsy, quick fucks with sex workers at brothels or cantinas. He had most of them when the desire became to high to ignore, so really the closest around satisfied him enough. And although most of the conquests had no specialness or emotion to them, they did shape the way Din moved around bodies, aided in his ability to please and such. So Din is rather experienced, he knows what he’s doing and how to make things steamy, but he’s really never been able to truly connect with someone before. Even though he’s well versed in the art of sex, there’s a few learning curves for him to accomplish, particularly making sure he meets your needs the way you want them met, not how he thinks you may want to do things.

F = favorite position (what’s their favorite position?)

By far, Din loves nothing more but to bend you over a table, or the console board of the Razor Crest, and pound into you from behind like there’s no tomorrow. He loves to have the warmth of your ass, heavy and plush, against his pelvis all while he’s up to the hilt inside your core. Din also likes the control it gives him, having you squirming and moaning under him, one of his hands heavy on your back keeping you down while the other squeezes your thighs and hips, or plays with your clit. Din might also get a bit grabby with your hair, pulling back your head enough so that he can nibble at your neck and hiss all the dirty things he wants into your ear.

The close second for his favorite position though is having you tied up to the bed, wrists and ankles bound. It’s one of Din’s favorite sights in the entire galaxy.

G = goofy (are they the more serious type, or more humorous?)

Din is serious about making sure he’s doing all he can to make you a moaning, cockdumb mess, that’s for damn sure. He’s very driven in that regard, serious about the task at hand and all the things he has to do to make sure you know just how much he loves you. Din isn’t a stoic robot though, he’s too vibrant and compassionate of a man for that, so he’ll being saying sweet things to get you to blush and smile, grinning against the shell of your ear before kissing your neck, maybe nipping playfully at your ass or stomach too... Din knows how to give a good time.

H = hair (how well-groomed are they?)

Din is a functionalist, so he likes to keep his bush below the belt to a minimum, or at least manageable, so he trims it and sometimes shaves it fully. Though he does have a tendency to let it grow a bit if he’s having a dry spell or if he just doesn’t have the motivation... but once the tuft starts catching on the zip to his pants (he goes commando, the dork), that’s when Din knows he’s got to shave. All his body hair elsewhere; head, face, legs, back, arms, etc, Din doesn’t care much about except his moustache and tasteful stubble which he does really like to keep. Of course, Din keeps everything as clean as a whistle.

On his partners, Din doesn’t have much of a preference, but he does lean towards someone who at least keeps their stuff trimmed (and clean, of course). However, he won’t force you to do anything, it’s your body, your decisions.

I = intimacy ( how intimate are they during sex?)

Just... so intimate. Of course, Din fucks like a beast in rut, but he’s so consuming and raw with it, it’s nothing short of perfect. Din wears his heart on his sleeve, so sex is constant “I love yous” in every word and action, even when it’s all vulgarity and dirty and horny, but it’s love nonetheless. You’re able to feel it from how he presses against you, molds against you like liquid heat, how his hands make your body his own, how he kisses you with stars in his eyes, how he tells you over and over again both vocally and silently, “Thank you”.

J = jack off (do they masturbate?)

Mm... it depends on his mood. He masturbated more when he was younger, when he had more time and drive to do so. Though once he got older, and life happened, and he’s almost non-stop running around chasing quarries... Din’s just too darn tired. It got even less so when Grogu came into his life, because oh my Maker the horror Din would feel if somehow his son caught him in the act. But Din is only human, and has that accursed Mandalorian sex drive, so sometimes the urge does rear it’s head, and he’s gotta make his hand and penis best friends again.

Doesn’t help when you’re occupying his thoughts either.

K = kinks (any kinks?)

Y’know that cliché where it’s like “normal looking person whose an absolute freak in the sheets”? Yeah, that’s Din. This man is the epitome of that. Here’s his kinks:

Bondage. Din really likes the sight of you tied up on the bed, at his mercy like a bunny in a hunter’s trap. He wants to have you bound by your wrists and ankles, maybe even tying you to the bedposts, and fucking you senseless while you beg to be able to touch him too. Din favors using handcuffs (technically binders, but Star Wars lingo is silly sometimes), but he’ll use whatever you’re okay with too. And, of course, if bondage isn’t your thing, he won’t ever force you to do it. (psst, Din doesn’t mind being tied up either)

Spanking. Kind of the only aspect of the “S” part of BDSM that Din will every really partake in. He likes landing a good few firm swats on your flanks, likes seeing your ass and thighs jiggle from the force of it, the bright flush that may appear afterwards if you let him go at it a while. Din also likes just being able to touch your ass too, so a nice spank to your bottom becomes the physical message of “You’re in for it tonight, mesh’la”. Oh, and he’ll make you count.

Daddy kink. Oh Maker, if you call him Daddy, he’ll lose his mind. Din has such a big Daddy kink that even if you call him it in a nonsexual situation, he’ll be feeling that warmth until he’s able to steal you away and rail you good. He loves being the Daddy and you being his “Sweet girl” or “Cyar’ika”... the dynamic runs him wild.

Breeding/pregnancy kink. Din wants to fuck a baby into you so badly he dreams about it. It’s been impounded into him that family and parenthood are really big deals, so you bet your ass he wants to fulfill that part of his Creed by making sure your pussy’s stuffed, womb is filled to the brim, and your breasts are swollen and milky. Din wants so so deeply to see you pregnant with the kid that you and him make, he desperately wants a family with you.

Breast/nipple kink. Yeah, Din really really likes your tits. There’s something about the shape, the texture, size, weight, etc that activates some primal monkey part of his brain that has him drooling. Din loves to knead and fondle your breasts, roll them under his large hands, press them together, watch the soft flesh squish and mold around his fingers. He especially loves the cute nipples of yours, pinching them between his fingers, tweaking them. Din also really likes sucking on your tits, leaving marks all over them, playing with your nipples with his tongue...

L = location (favorite place to “do the do”?)

When you both have the opportunity, Din really really likes taking you in a good, proper bedroom, something that the uncomfortable, tiny bunk on the Razor Crest really doesn’t account for. If it were up to him, he’d want to spend his entire life with you in bedroom fit for a king, taking you over and over again on a mattress that feels like a cloud. It’s no shock then whenever Din actually shills out the credits (being the frugal man he is) to buy a hotel room is the sex borderline godlike.

M = motivation (what gets them turned on?)

A sure-fire way to get Din fully and completely riled up would be to wear something real scandalous. Be that a shirt that shows a tad bit more, or pants that are tight enough to reveal you aren’t wearing panties, or (Din’s favorite) a set of cute lingerie... Din will get hard in his pants. It’d be even more so if you tease him in public, but be warned he’ll fuck you mean for that.

N = NO (what’s their turn offs?)

Very early on, it was, obviously, taking off his helmet. If you asked, or Maker forbid tried, the mood would drop pretty extensively if not entirely from Din. He’d get uncomfortable, go silent, and the first time it happened, he left the room. Removal of the helmet was a very big one before he eventually showed you his face.

After you’ve been able to kiss his face over and over again and cry because you think he’s so beautiful? Nothing comes to Din’s mind really besides the kinks that are... nastier. Like literally, y’know... some other bodily... stuffs. Anyways, Din is pretty adaptable when it comes to kinks/positions and stuff. The pros of already being a kinky man...

O = oral (do they have a preference in giving/receiving?)

Okay, Din really loves his dick sucked. The way that you wrap your lips around his shaft, kiss the tip of his penis, fondle his balls, lick and slobber on him... makes his eyes roll to the back of his head. He especially loves being able to watch you try and take all of him in your throat, seeing the tears of pleasure squeeze out your eyes, the way you hollow your cheeks around him and suck. Din loves it when you go down on him.

... Now that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like going down on you. There is no place Din would want to be more than with his face between your legs, lapping at you like a starving animal. He’ll spend hours with his mouth on your cunt, swirling his tongue around your clit, driving orgasm after orgasm from you until you’re shaking from overstimulation and begging him to stop. Din loves your pussy, the way you taste and smell... drives him wild.

P = pace & PDA (are they soft, sensual, rough, or feral? are they open to displaying the relationship?)

Din will most often rail you into the mattress with a fervor. He tends to fuck hard, and he likes to play rough. The pace he keeps is something that makes you see stars every time he thrusts, when he ruts into you so hard that your entire body moves. However, Din does this all with a type of passionate sensuality that leaves you in tears, he fucks you sure, but it’s also fully fueled by unwavering love. When he’s feeling especially sentimental, Din will indulge on this love, and he’ll go slower, deeper, make you feel nothing but the weight of him.

And PDA... Well, Din doesn’t take the helmet or beskar off in public, so PDA is every time Din steps in front of you to shield you protectively, it’s when he offers to carry whatever you’re holding, it’s when he fights for you, it’s when he stands close to your side, when he sends you long side-eyed glances that make you feel the love, it’s when he nudges your shoulder with his, when he lets you wrap your fingers around his, when he drapes you with his cloak, surrounding you with him... It’s the little, subtle things, the personal things that mean you’re closer to him than anyone else.

Q = quickies (what’s their opinion on quickies?)

Maker, yes. Din becomes kinda addicted to having sex with you, so any and all chance to pull down his and yours pants and rut you both into a quick release is perfect for him. They don’t happen all that often, you’re both too busy most of the time, but if there’s a window of opportunity, Din will take it.

R = risks (are they okay with experimenting? do they take risks?)

Din’s kinda a big baby, so anything you may want to try with him in the bedroom that’s out of the norm will have him a stuttering, blushing mess. Most of the time though, once you’ve explained whatever you’re wanting enough, he’ll be down to do it because he knows you’re fine with it, and so is he. Though Din has his limits, a few things in particular that he’d never risk: safety and his Creed. He won’t ever try something that would potentially put the both of you in mortal danger, and wouldn’t do something that breaks his Code. Other than that, Din does enjoy pushing the boundaries a little once you’ve started, and he might even become more advantageous.

S = stamina (how many rounds can they last?)

Din can last long enough, that’s for sure. He’s not borderline superhuman like some other men, but Din doesn’t tap out early either. With the skill he has with his hands, he’s easily able to make you cum a couple times before he dicks you down, and sometimes he’s even able to draw out an orgasm or two when he’s balls deep inside you. It all usually depends on his energy level, if he’s pumped up and well rested, expect a long, long night, but if he’s so tired he can barely keep his eyes open, honestly he might just cum if you jerk him off a little bit.

Though sleepy sex with Din, although it’s very short, is also a bit of an exercise in absolute trust with him. He’s able to fall asleep in your arms, all worn out and buzzing from his orgasm, it makes him feel fully at peace.

T = toys (do they own/use any toys?)

Haha, no. Din is such a minimalist, he didn’t own any type of luxury like that, unless you count the handcuffs, but he technically uses those for his job. It really is he just doesn’t have the space nor the credits he’s willing to spare, and he didn’t have a partner before you so really it would’ve been pointless for him. But now that he’s got you in his life (and bed)? Yeah, Din might splurge a little bit and buy some things to make your romps a bit more... interesting. Be that a vibrator, some silky rope, a plug... just some fun things.

U = unfair (how much do they like to tease?)

He likes to tease, because edging you edges him and that satiates the deep-rooted sub inside of him. Din likes to have you begging for release just as much as he likes the feeling of his cock practically screaming to sink into your velvety core. The teasing really goes both ways, even if Din is the one who’s technically doing all of it. He also gets really into dirty talk (for as long as he can actually speak) and will be saying all sorts of nasty things in your ear like “C’mon, cyar’ika, tell me you want my fingers” or “Pretty girl, use your words. You want my cock or no?”.

V = volume (how loud or quiet are they during sex?)

Din is loud, but in a quiet type of way? He like... whisper yells, like his voice is already naturally low, so when he’s got you all in his grasps it’s like the volume of his voice doesn’t increase, but the intensity does? Din fills the room, essentially, being the only thing you hear, even over your own moans, squeals, screams, etc. It’s mostly a lot of strained dirty talk, like each word Din says to you is determined, but he’s got to push them through clenched teeth because his dick’s twitching so hard and your pussy is just too good... and shit, once you’ve drawn the first moan out of him, it’s over for him. Din will be moaning. Once he’s lost in the sauce, which happens sorta quickly, Din becomes just as incoherent as you, maybe being able to babble out something about seeing you fat with child or maybe about how well you’re swallowing up his cock, but it really devolves into lengthy, horny moans and hefty grunts. So yes, our man’s is loud.

W = wildcard (what’s a random headcanon?)

Din loves when you tell him how much you think he’s attractive. He’s spent basically his whole life with his face in a bucket and his body in armor, so he’s never gotten compliments about his authentic self before. This kind of hampered his self-confidence and racked up his insecurity? Din doesn’t necessarily have any specific qualms with how he looks, but he also is very unsure of how you think of him. So when you tell him that you love his face; his crooked, hooked nose, his soft, honey brown eyes, his patchy stubble, and even his ridiculous moustache... it makes his heart soar.

This same sentiment goes for his body too, which Din does have a couple of more prominent issues with. For one, he’s a tad soft around the middle (age + indulging himself + taking excessive off days = weight gain) which makes him feel semi-insecure about what you may think when you don’t see chiseled, perfect abs, and he’s just generally self-conscious about his age. But when you’re fine with it? When you say you find his chub endearing?? That he’s really not that old and that he shouldn’t worry about it??? Din is beyond happy.

And in a complete 180, Din has a very high sperm count. Like astronomically high. A medical marvel type of high. So... if you indulge on his desire for a big family... expect a lot of little Djarin brats really fast.

X = x-ray & x-tra (what’s underneath those clothes? any more random headcanons?”)

Din is built like a himbo. He’s built like he’d ask you what pussy size do you wear when he buys pads for you. He’s built like the dude that comes into the store you work at every so often who’s just so captivating and out of this world handsome that you stare at him as he looks at the same thing he always does, until he leaves after not buying it for the third week in a row. He has a very good figure, muscular in all the right places from a lifetime of brutal physical activity. Din’s arms and shoulders are probably his best feature, the entirety of the appendages being toned with taut, powerful muscle and perfect for holding you. His chest is quite toned as well, though his pecs are softer and have a smattering of chest hair brushed on the muscles. Although he has a relatively trim waist and a defined Adonis belt, Din’s belly is actually pretty soft. He’s like a muscular boy, but with a bit more chub (if anyone gets that reference, you’re extra sexy), so Din doesn’t have a defined set of abs. He does have a dark happy trail that leads to the special someone between his thick-muscled thighs.

He also, from time and age, has a bit of a weathered look to him that makes him look experienced and jaded. His body also has a smattering of scars, most of them old and silvered, from scuffles and fights he’s had in his past. 

Big Dick Cum Daddy Din is hung. His penis is a mouth-watering 9 inches (22.86 cm) of throbbing glory, not overly girthy (2 inches, 5.08 cm, in width) but perfect nonetheless. He has a very prominent vein on the bell end of his cock, as well as fairly defined ridges on the sides, like he’s fucking ribbed for your pleasure. His penis is actually circumcised, so the head of his cock gets especially red once you’ve got all the blood and horniness in his loins. Din’s balls are perfect too, weighty things that hang a bit lower that only shows their virility.

Din is pro-choice. He’s a firm believer in people having autonomy over their bodies and having the ability to choose. So when it comes to abortion, even though the thought admittedly makes Din a little uncomfortable, he would fully support his partner choosing to have one, if that was their decision.

Also, Din is a bisexual icon, I don’t make the rules.

Y = yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Yes. Ever since you come into his life, Din is horny like a teen boy all over again, it’s almost ridiculous. At the very beginning, it’s just a lot of him fantasizing about what he wants to do to you, because A) you’ve both just met, B) his Creed, and C) it’d be so embarrassing for him for you to find out how much you affect him. But once you two start getting closer, and spend weeks and months dancing around each other, Din starts to get a bit more flirty, more frisky. You definitely start noticing how much he’s wanting you, so really it comes to the point that at any time you reciprocate your feelings and consent, Din will be on you in a second. After that first time, it’s over for y’all. Din will want to fuck all the time, everywhere, whenever possible. Your pussy becomes his dick’s permanent home.

Z = zzzz (how fast do they fall asleep after?)

Din isn’t an easy sleeper in general, so after sex it’s really not much different. It always takes a while for him to fall asleep, so you’ll definitely be passed out before he even starts to feel tired. He’ll spend most of his time after making sure you’re taken care of with his exquisite aftercare, and then mumble sweet nothings to you as you fall asleep. Even after you’re out, Din will still lie awake and talk to you quietly about anything and everything that comes to mind before he eventually falls asleep too.

[johnkrrasinski]

nothing to forgive; 

full masterlist

Pairings: dark!Ransom Drysdale x female!reader

Word count: 4,014

Warning: smut!!! BDSM, use of toys, dirty talk, stalking, humiliation. (MUST BE 18+)

Summary: there’s nothing more dangerous than a jealous ransom drysdale. 

a/n: this is for @imanuglywombat​’s 4k writing challenge. i chose the song “jealous” by labyrinth with the city as for the moodboard. i know it’s a heartbreak song but i just couldn’t resist taking ransom to the extreme with the title. this was fun to write. hope you like it. please leave a like & comment. enjoy!

If there’s anything to describe Ransom as a lover, it would be a jealous one. No, he’s not exactly an insecure boyfriend. He knows the appeal that he possesses and the charisma that he carries. He knows with that dashing face of his, he could get any woman he desired, with only the touch of those aquatic orbs and that enticingly smug attitude.

And of course, he had you wrapped around his finger too. And he liked it while it lasted. But what he strongly does not like is when someone dares to even think about getting close to what’s his.

You, a fierce, headstrong woman; someone who had no interest in wasting her time on incompetent men who were incapable of keeping up with you and your swiftly flourishing career. You were too busy building your thriving makeup company that is soon to be an empire. You were proud of your baby.

And you weren’t talking about Ransom, hell no.

He lost you the moment you found out that he slept with another woman whilst he was on his trip to London doing God knows what. Ransom likes to go on random lavish trips because his inane brain has no idea what should he spend his money on. The money that he didn’t even work for a day in his life. The money that he was so entitled to because of his family’s wealth.

You really liked Ransom at one point. Your families grew up together and you and him hooked up every now and then every time he was in New York, the city where you lived or you were back home and needed to release some tension.

He was hot and he knew your body inside out well enough to give you a good orgasm. And so, last summer, you two began dating after he jokingly asked you out after you gave him one of the best blowjobs in his life. You rejected him at first but he kept insisting until you had no other choice but relented. He was such a persevering man when he wanted to be.

It lasted for an entire summer, he would go back and forth to New York to see you and fuck you on every surface of your apartment or he would take you to his five stars hotel and aggravate the other guests by making you moan like you two owned the place.

Until last Christmas when he didn’t even tell you that he was going to London, which you only found out through Linda Drysdale when you visited the Drysdale household. You weren’t one to be a clingy girlfriend, but when your ‘boyfriend’ doesn’t even inform you at all that he was going on a spontaneous trip, it was pure outrageous.

When he went back to Boston three days later after his unbeknown trip, he went straight to your parents’ house where you were staying for another late-night rendezvous. Your parents weren’t home yet due to them being at a Christmas party that you weren’t interested in attending so you had to pretend that you had unbearable cramps and that you needed to stay at home.

Ransom didn’t spot your parents’ car so he knocked on the front door and waited until one of your maids opened it. You didn't expect him to return this soon so you didn’t bother leaving a message to your maids that if Ransom comes, don’t open the door for him. So he went straight to your bedroom and there was a contented smile on his face.

“Hey babygirl, I’ve missed you.” He took off his coat and hung it on your study chair.

“What the hell are you doing here, Ransom?” You truly didn’t expect to see him tonight. You were in the middle of answering some of your work emails regarding the packaging of your upcoming eyeshadow palette. Work didn’t stop despite the calendar saying it’s Christmas.

“Well I had to see you first after my trip, baby. You know I’ve missed you.”

“You asshole! You didn’t even fucking tell me that you were going to London!” You got up from bed, ready to punch him on his stupid gorgeous face.

“Sorry, baby, it was a last-minute trip. I just had to get away from my shitty family before Christmas comes so I don’t have to see all of them. I didn’t tell you because I wanted to surprise you when I get back.” He kissed you before you could even reply. You’d never admit it but the way he plays his tricks with his lips always prevails every fiery emotion in you. So you decided to let it go. Not that you had much of a choice anyway when his hands were already roaming under your oversized sweater before taking it off of you.

After making you cum twice and chased his own release, Ransom fell asleep seconds away next to you. You couldn’t help but admire his sculpted figure as you were lying bare next to him. He looked so… gentle when he was sleeping. Anything that he wasn’t when he’s wide awake.

Sometimes you wondered, is there a future for the both of you? You weren’t one to settle down and have kids. You loved your freedom and you would like to hold on to your youth a little longer. Marriage and kids are going to make you feel like you gained 50 years into your age and you weren’t ready for that. You don’t think you’d ever be, honestly.

But if you could take a look into the future to see whether you and him are going to stay together or not, you would. You didn’t want to waste your time by committing to a man when you could be sleeping around with actors and models. Of course, you could do that too whilst still dating him. He didn’t have to know. But, if there’s anything that you execrated is cheating.

You took pride in your deep-rooted loyalty. You didn’t share your love with too many people but the lucky ones who do have a piece of your heart were promised of your devotion. And that includes Ransom.

Not for long though.

You rose to your feet to use the lavatory in your room. After you were done, you walked to your study chair where Ransom’s coat was placed and then you grabbed it with the intention of hanging it on the coat hanger. Gosh, Ransom could be quite disorganized sometimes.

You had this habit before you put your raiments where they belong, you’d always rummage through the pockets to make sure that you didn’t forget a valuable item there that would cause you to act frantic because you need it and your life would be on the line if you lost it.

You checked the left pocket and nothing was there until you felt something soft inside Ransom’s right pocket. It felt like a material made of lace. You took it out and then… The garment that you had in your hand felt like a slap on the face.

Whose fucking red underwear is this?

You immediately woke Ransom up and he was confused as hell. Why the fuck were you suddenly going apeshit at nearly 3 AM? His drowsy state fought hard to adjust his vision to the lighting in the room.

“What the hell y/n?”

“Care to explain this?” You shoved the red lace underwear onto his face.

His eyelids instantly dilated. Oh shit, he’s been caught.

“Whose fucking panties is this, Ransom? Did you fuck a bitch in London?”

Instead of giving you the answer you already knew, he only stalled by saying “baby, calm down, alright? Let me explain.”

But he didn’t need to. The look of trepidation on his face pretty much gives everything away. “You. Fucking. Cheater. Get the fuck out of my house.”

“Shh! Just give me a second to explain, okay?”

“I don’t wanna hear anything that comes out of your mouth. Now get the fuck out of my house! Out! Now!” He was still naked but you couldn’t care less. You grabbed all of his clothes that were scattered on the floor and his coat and threw them along with the alibi of his misconduct at him. You pushed him out of your bedroom door until you both reached the front door of your house. He was still trying to make you stop and listen to him but you didn’t give him a chance.

He stood on your porch naked and hurriedly put on his clothes. It was a private residence so he didn’t have to worry about the neighbours seeing him naked. Not that he cared anyway, but still, the embarrassment of being thrown out while he was still nude was what he dreaded.

The next day, he tried to call you for God knows how many times and left you hundreds of text messages. He tried visiting you the next day but you refused to let him in. You asked your security guard to block him from entering the house. You told your parents what happened and your overprotective father was enraged.

He even went as far as facing Ransom himself at the gate to warn him that if he ever came anywhere near you again, your father wouldn’t hesitate in hiring a private bodyguard for you to keep him away from you. Well, with your rising fame and success, you figured you eventually were going to need one anyway, but now that you had an unrelenting cheater in your ledger, he might need to hire a highly trained one for you sooner.

You dumped him officially on a phone call and before you ended it, the last thing that he said to you was “without me, all you’ll find is heartbreak and misery.” He gritted through his teeth.

“Goodbye, Ransom.” Then you pressed the end the call button and blocked his number. You changed yours and then a few days after New Year, you fled back to New York. Your company was waiting for you.

For the next several months you kept yourself occupied with your work. You were thrilled for the launching of your new eyeshadow palette. The stress accelerated to a much level higher that you didn’t even have a second to think about Ransom. You hadn’t heard from him for a while and you certainly liked to keep it that way. There’s no room for a cheating, lying, lazy scumbag in your life.

A part of you couldn't help but feel grateful that you broke up with him before the clutter in your work increased. You weren’t sure that you were capable of maintaining a relationship with someone that you don’t near to. You would’ve had to make time to see him and it would’ve been a major distraction.

You held a party to celebrate the launch of your new eyeshadow palette, to say you were nervous would be an understatement, there was nothing more that you feared than failure. Despite being fortunate enough to be born into a wealthy family, you still spent years saving up money and studying hard in college to major in dual degree; business and cosmetology to construct your dream makeup line.

And now, for the first time, the eyeshadow palette that you had been tirelessly crafted to perfection, is going to be available for purchase on your website. The countdown shows there’s only two minutes and thirty seconds left until every makeup enthusiast gets to put it on their shopping cart.

You were holding a glass of rose champagne in your hand whilst giving a speech to the team that you loved so dearly because they were your second family. You didn’t see them as the people who “work for you” but rather, you saw them as equals; your partners and your biggest supporters. Without them, this entire makeup line wouldn’t be standing so tall.

What you didn’t realize was, through the glass-structured building, Ransom was watching you like a hawk. He had his hands in his pocket and he had his gaze fixated on one person only and it was you. Despite the distance and the crowd, his focus didn’t bend.

The past few months for Ransom had been filled with acrimony by his wounded ego caused by being dumped. He couldn’t get anywhere near you due to your heavily guarded apartment building. You even had your own bodyguard now. Great. He was taller and bulkier than Ransom and he wasn’t foolish enough to try to fight the big guy.

You also ordered every security guard in your office, which is the headquarter for your makeup company, that if Ransom ever dared to show his face, they must get rid of him immediately. The only way Ransom could get to you is by stalking you on social media through your company’s official Instagram account and your rising personal account too.

He really thought that it would only take a month before you come crawling back to him. Ransom was so used to getting his way that he strongly condemned being rejected. He would do whatever it takes to have you back.

Whatever it takes.

He had everything prepared meticulously for months. He waited for the right moment to execute the plan and then you would never be able to escape him ever again.

What he didn’t see coming was you going on a date and laughing with a man he didn’t recognize. He really thought that you wouldn’t be dating again for at least a year but he clearly he was mistaken. He thought you secretly missed him but you had too much pride to admit it. He also thought that you could’ve done better than that.

Who the hell does this guy think he is swooping in on his girl like that? His jealousy whispered wicked things into his ears like a red-horned devil. He had waited in his car in front of your apartment building thirty minutes before you left. He found a way to bug your phone without your knowledge and from there, he could monitor every single text, every single phone call and every single person you associate with.

He did a background check on this bloke who was a few years younger than him, making him someone your age. The result showed that he had gone to the same university as you and now he had his own publishing company located in New York as well.

This fella named William had the same distinctive features as Ransom; a brunet with blue eyes, which means, you probably had a type. “So fucking predictable.” He thought whilst he was scrolling through this stranger’s biography. The man was just as tall as him. He posed in a dark grey suit with a tie that synchronizes with the look for the camera.

Apparently, you had run into him at one of the finest restaurants in town when you were having dinner with your girlfriends. He had come up to you to make sure that it was you. You two chatted, catching up on things and he charmed you by asking the one thing you were most passionate about which was your cosmetic line. You exchanged numbers and after talking for a few weeks, he asked you out and you said accepted.

You truly didn’t do anything halfway. When you were going out, whether it be with your friends, for a party or on a date with some guy you used to go to college with, you were dressed to the nines. You looked so crushingly stunning, your beauty dazzled him like daylight. He couldn’t blame this fella though, there’s a reason why he asked you on a date first before this schmuck inserted himself between the two of you. He had to have you and once he got you, he blew his chance. He lost you.

Not for long though. You belonged to him and only him.

You walked into the restaurant as the jazz music serenaded your ears. You asked the receptionist looking for someone named “William” and she led you to a table in the centre of the room, with a good-looking man sitting there in his raven suit.

You greeted William and then made your order when the server came with the menu. You ordered a bottle of Champagne, and you were truly enjoying the company of this man. He was courteous, smart and a little shy for someone as smart and as successful as him. Maybe it’s time to get yourself back in the dating game.

Not all men are Ransom Drysdale.

Ransom couldn’t stand seeing you laughing at his jokes and touching his hand. He didn’t have it in him to wait for another second to let you roam in your freedom without being his. He was going to do it tonight, but he had to do it before you reach your apartment where your personal bodyguard would be guarding you like a fort.

So he went to the parking lot two blocks north of the restaurant. There was nobody there so he had to act fast before someone came. He used a screwdriver to unlock the door of your car and once he succeeded, he sat in the backseat and obscured himself within the absence of light.

Now all he had to do was wait…

The date was lovely but it was time to go home. As much as you loved dressing up in your Lobouton heels and flaunting your beauty downtown, the thought of your warm bed and cozy pyjamas make your heart flutter. You didn’t know if there will be a second date or not, and even if he asked, you weren’t sure whether you’d say yes or no this time, but it was nice to catch up with fellow alumni.

You walked to where your car was parked and unlocked the driver’s seat car and sat behind the wheel. You revived the engine by pushing the ignition starter and adjusted the rearview mirror but what reflected on the glass made your heart drop like a beat.

“…Ransom? What the hell are you-”

But before you could finish your vexed question, Ransom pressed a drugged handkerchief onto your nose and despite your attempt to fight him, his strength overpowered you. Then in a matter of seconds, everything turned black.

You woke up with a sore head as you slowly felt your visions turning pellucid, it took you a few seconds to realize that the dress you wore had been stripped away from you. Your undergarments were also no longer covering your bare body from the cold… What the hell?

You began to realize that you were currently in a cramped, dimmed room with a single pillowless bed in the centre. There were many other sex toys that you were familiar with, you even had some in your drawer, and there were also a few other contraptions in the room that looked like they belong in a sex dungeon.

When you tried to move, only then your brain began to discern the state you were imprisoned in. You couldn’t move and you couldn’t pull your limbs away for they were secured with a device that you couldn’t see due to the position you were in.

Your cheek was pressed on the futon mattress and when you tried to scream, you couldn’t form any words for there was a ball gag in between your lips. You tried to scream but that only made you drool even more, making a tiny pool on the leather material.

You squealed, trying to get any help from anyone out there who might listen but then you heard the sound of the creaking door opening and someone entered the room. You tried to give them a single to set you free by making incoherent noises.

But all you heard was; “well, well, well, look what we have here.”

That voice. That voice sounds familiar. Your mind tried to distinguish it, and then you realized… It was Ransom. You remember it now, you walked into your car after a date with William, you saw him in the backseat through the rearview mirror and then you couldn’t recall anything else that happened after that.

And now here you were, bound by a percontator, exposed and helpless in a strange, unknown place. You began to thrash your body but it was futile, the device really did an excellent job in keeping you immobile.

“Hush now, dirty whore. You really think you could escape me forever? You must be dumber than I took you for.”

You heard the sound of unbuckling belt then he took off his shirt behind you. “No amount of protection can keep you away from me. I’ll make sure of that.”

He stepped into the mattress and lowered himself to his knees. He didn’t wast any second in placing the tip of his cock near your entrance then he intruded your body with his length. He grabbed a fistful of your hair and kept your head there in place. He spanked your right ass before he began moving.

“Ah,” he groaned. “I’ve always loved this pussy. Always so fucking tight.” He accelerated his pace and he grabbed your hair, forcing you to look up at him through your tearful eyes. “Is this what you want? To be fucked like a bitch? ‘Cause I will, whenever I fucking want to.” He gritted through his pounding.

You could only moan and cry. Your mind took you back to the last Christmas eve when you caught him cheating. “Did you fuck a bitch in London?” He was deriding you by weaponizing your own words against you.

He put your head back on the mattress and kept thrusting brutally. He spanked you once more and you shrieked. He loved the sound of your agony so he did it five times more until your ass was as red as he liked. “Fucking slut. Aren’t you better like this? Not talking, no CEO bullshit.” He stopped his thrusting and pulled your hair back once more to glare into your eyes. “I’m gonna have so much fun breaking you piece by piece until you’re nothing but a brainless fuck toy for me to use.”

He slammed your face back down to the mattress and resumed his violation on your body. He kept pounding until there was no more energy left in you to fight. He then threw your body around so you were lying on your back.

He inserted himself back into you and picked up his vigorous pace. Your breasts jiggled with every assault. “Missed those perky tits.” His hands shamelessly groped your breasts and held on to them like they were knobs.

His right hand went from your breast to your throat, encircling the fingers around the delicate flesh. Your breathing becomes difficult and you felt yourself seconds away from passing out but before it could happen, you felt the tightening coil in your lower belly that was familiar with Ransom. And the expanding bubble burst, making a soaked mess on the leather underneath you and all over Ransom’s cock.

“There you go, what a fucking mess.” He smirked. “Last time I fucked this cunt, I don’t remember you getting off this soon, baby.” His hands went back to your knees as he chased his own orgasm. And in a matter of seconds, he released his cum deep inside your womb, staying there until he had no more drop left to give.

He withdrew himself out and then he stepped out of the mattress. He put back his sweater and jeans and before he left. He sneered at your disarranged state, complacent with the mess he made you of. “I’ll be back in a few hours. Be good or there will be punishments worse than you just had, understood?” He didn’t wait for your answer before kissing your upper lip.

He disappeared behind the door, leaving you in the tenebrosity of the room as you languidly losing yourself into unconsciousness.

[skellebonez]

Hello, hi, I would like to please request something about Wukong/Macaque/Spider Queen (I've fallen into that rabbit hole since reading your prompts about them and I can't get out). It can be literally anything you want, but I would really like to see the monkeys sweeping SQ off her feet (be it literal or metaphorical, your choice). Love your work, looking forward to seeing more, have a wonderful day/night!

Thank you so much! I hope you like this, I have had these three on my brain for so long it was hard for me to pick out just one scenario for them, but I’m really happy with what I have managed here!

The Spider Monkie AU, and this ship, come courtesy of @strange-lace who I owe so much to for making me love this ship so dang much.

“Are you alright?”

Spider Queen froze, not expecting anyone to find her hidden away deep in the forests of Mount Huaguo. Then again, if anyone was to find her this deep and hidden behind the foliage it would have to be the king of the mountain in the first place. He knew this place far too well not to know all the little nooks and crannies she could hide away in now that she was... well. As she was before she learned of the technological advancements of the centuries.

“Wukong,” she tried to say evenly, barely able to hold back the hiss of pain as she turned to him. “I thought you were otherwise occupied.”

“I was,” he started, moving closer and sitting beside her. Just crooked in his posture enough that she barely had to turn her back to look at him. “But one of my monkeys told me they saw something that worried them and being King I had to come investigate.”

Worried them?

“Your... monkeys are worried about me?” Spider Queen asked softly, eyes widening in surprise.

She hadn’t been on Mount Huaguo for very long, not really, not long enough for her to really become a part of the Monkey King’s court properly. She and her spider demons, a whole three of them, were still very much on the outskirts of the majority of the court itself. Only Wukong and Macaque would truly give them much attention on a regular basis outside of a handful of the younger monkeys that seemed to latch on to Goliath in particular, though they had cooled off from their initial luke warm reception. Especially after...

She craned her neck a bit, really looking up at the large spider monkie beside her. At the beautiful green eyes that she could find herself lost in for hours. Days, even, they had the time being long lived/immortal as they were. When Wukong had changed his monkeys took to it much better than she had hoped for, granted it probably helped that he seemed relatively excited about his added height and 4 extra arms, and after that the court warmed up to them just a bit more.

That didn’t lessen her surprise in the slightest, however.

“They like you a lot more now than you think they do,” he rebutted with a smile, brighter than even the sun itself in her eyes.

Damn it all, but she knew she was done for. She was already starting to like him once the truth about MK came out, maybe not in a romantic sense but she was. And after they rescued her from the Trigram furnace and he started to stay with her, begin moving her and her small court to the mountain, help her through the aftermath of being trapped in there for so long, she knew she was starting to fall for him. Then that damned venom had to shatter all over him and turn him into... into...

A spider monkie beefcake.

Oh she had it bad. And she knew that Wukong knew she had it bad.

“Who likes Queenie more than she thinks?” A second voice sounded, and the flush tat had begun to pepper her face deepened as Macaque emerged through the trees with a small monkey slumbering in his arms. “Are you ok? Are your legs bothering you again?”

Spider Queen froze for a moment as he knelt down, looking over her with a discerning glance.

She and Macaque had already talked through... a lot of what happened. What with the experiments she had approved and what happened to him after. How she made salved and balms and different medications to help ease his aches and pains. How he had almost immediately returned her attempts at helping him when her burn scars and weak legs hurt her as well.

And it didn’t help that he sported a beautiful shade of purple in his own fur that she couldn’t help but stare at as it glistened in the sun because neither of these men could wear shirts anymore.

“O-oh, I’m fine!” She laughed out awkwardly, waving her hands in front of herself. She told herself in her head to act normal. “Who’s Queenie?”

That didn’t go as planned.

“And you’re going up!” Wukong exclaimed, scooping the woman into his arms with effortless ease and a care that still honestly shocked her, as if she was made of the finest glass he had ever laid eyes on. With six arms it was easy for him to hold her steady, one arm carefully laid out for her legs to dangle from at the knee and another gently cupping her neck as he held her to his chest. “Comfy?”

“YeS ThANk You,” was the awkwardly squeaked reply that escaped her lips. She couldn’t even scowl in frustration or embarrassment when Wukong laughed in reply, his booming voice almost overtaking the soft purr she could feel in his chest against her.

From the side she could see Macaque smirking a bit, muttering “show off” under his breathe as they made their way out of the forest and back. She listened to Wukong’s soft purr against her and Macaque explaining to them both what he left behind when he followed Wukong, and why he had one very tired and sleepy monkey still holding tight to one of his arms (and if him gently petting the little one wasn’t one of the sweetest things Spider Queen had ever seen then she was still soup).

“So,” Macaque said with a concerned frown as they finally reached their now shared home and he watched as Wukong helped he lay back and take off her shoes before leaving to get something for them to eat. “Heels again?”

“You’ll thank me for trying to wear them one day, I promise you,” She said softly, knowing their concern was warranted when her legs pained her to walk in any capacity on a regular basis. “And they’re not that bad this time!”

“You’re right,” he admitted with a smaller frown, moving to sit beside her. “I just... worry about you, you know? The way you worry about my back when I push myself too hard to move stuff or fight.”

“I know, and it’s very sweet,” she admitted, smiling as the little monkey in his arms awoke and looked around in confusion before seeing her and freezing with wide eyes. “Oh... Hello.”

It took no more time than that for the little one to sit up, leaping from Macaque’s arm to her shoulder. Spider Queen froze, watching as the monkey looked at her with an odd expression and seemed to nod to themself as they settled on her opposite shoulder and began running their fingers through her shortened hair and picking out bit of leaves and dust that had been trapped there when she had tried to find a place to rest.

“Uuuuuh,” she said, looking at her partner next to her in surprise.

“We told you they’d warm up to you,” he said softly, leaning over to give her a quick peck on the cheek. “This one liked you already, they were just too shy to approach such an amazing Queen.”

Spider Queen didn’t know if Macaque was telling the truth or embellishing it with his own feelings toward her... but as Wukong returned and cooed over the sight of one of his many charges grooming through her hair and they ate the peach slices he brought, she found she didn’t care either way.

It meant the same to her regardless.

[xpeachesncream]

acquainted | three

summary: the biggest goal of a grad student is to get through school in one piece - no petty drama involved, no sweating over the little things. however, that plan almost always never follows through. sometimes, you can’t help but fall into the most unthinkable, unexpected traps and learn the hard way. like, exhibit a: being unable to resist your engaged, substitute teacher, kim seokjin.

pairing: (2nd bts member to be revealed later on) x reader x engaged!teacher!seokjin

genre: grad school au, student life au | fluff, angst, smut (to come)

words: 2.0k

warnings: hoe-ish thoughts / implied sexual content, cussing, mentions of death/car accident, your friends being extra like always

notes: flashback scene towards the last half of the chapter. start and end of flashback will be indicated!

tags: @laurynne5​, @yiyi4657​, @bluesharksandfish​, @miinoongi​ @teamtardis-notdead​ (pls msg me if you would like to be added to the taglist!)

It was a cold morning, with the wind slowly picking up, bringing the clouds over from across the bay. You grabbed yourself a cup of coffee and sat on a table near the food cart on campus, finishing up your last items on your to-do list for work. You didn't wanna sit in the office for remainder of the day, and luckily, your job gave you that flexibility. You rubbed your hands together, hoping it could provide some relief to the cold taking over. You were too lazy to make your move at this point, and Mr. Kim's [or shall we say Jin since we aren't in a classroom right now] class wasn't too far away from where you were sitting. It'd be an easy, breezy walk.

Your brain felt foggy; even though you didn't have much left on your to-do list, you couldn't seem to focus and you knew why. Chance's death anniversary was coming up, and it was always something you dreaded. You wish you could skip the day and continue on with the week without having to revisit shit like this. Your friends are your biggest support systems, but they too, have their own lives to tend to. And as much as they tried to physically be there for you, sometimes it just didn't end up happening that way.

"Miss Y/N, are you doing alright?" You looked up to see Jin standing in front of you, a concerned expression plastered on his face while he held his cup of coffee.

"Oh yeah, sorry. Just spaced out trying to get things done for work."

"No need to apologize. I feel that, 100%." He chuckled. "Mind if I sit for a minute?" You shook your head and moved your things closer to you so he had some room for himself. "Glad to see you got home in one piece."

"Sure did." You smiled at him, tilting your head slightly to get a good look at his handsome ass face while he brings up his foot to rest on his knee. Honest question: is it ever too early for hoe thoughts to make an appearance?

Did I put on deodorant today?

"You work nearby?" He sipped on his coffee and glanced at you.

"Yeah, I work for a cloud-based software company as a project manager. Sometimes, I'll help chime in with graphic design projects too, if I'm not too swamped." He nodded.

"That's pretty amazing."

"What about you? I assume this isn't your only gig." He chuckled.

"You're right, it's not. I, uh-" He paused. "I'm a CFO for a tech company in the city." Your eyes widened. Handsome, and a fucking boss? You have got to be kidding me.

"W-wow. Holy shit." You quickly shook your head and shut your eyes in embarrassment. "Sorry, holy crap." You corrected your previous statement.

"Y/N, I don't care if you cuss." He laughed. "I'm a 30 year old man who still finds the need to slip it in between every other word when I'm not in class."

"Sorry, just— holy fuck. I wasn't really expecting that, but good on you!"

"What do I look like to you? Honest question."

"Oh, I mean. I just thought you worked in business or something like that. As someone important, but not that important. I-I mean—"You sighed and pursed your lips into a fine line. "You know what I mean, I hope."

"I think I do, don't worry." He smiled, feeling slightly amused with how cute you were acting.

"You must be really busy all the time."

"Mm, no actually. I do have quite a few meetings and deadlines to reach but other than that, it's not too bad." You rested your chin on the palm of your hand. "Are you from here?"

"I am, born and raised. Are you?" He shook his head and slightly pouted.

"I moved here a couple of years ago from Seattle when my fiancé Grace started to get serious about her cooking. She wanted to open her first restaurant here."

"Oh, that's neat. She's a chef?" Stupid question, but you weren't sure how else to keep the conversation going about his soon-to-be wifey.

"Yep. She's a wonder woman, for sure." He pauses to sip more of his coffee. "Do you have family members that live around here?"

"Yeah I do, my parents live about 30 minutes away from here. I go and visit them when I can. But sometimes, I get too occupied with work and school that I just long for time to myself. Being 25, you'd think I could handle more but I'm still learning how to balance my time, I guess." He nods. He's a little relieved to hear you aren't that far off in age, to be honest. He wasn't sure if he was being weird harmlessly getting to know his students. He genuinely wanted to build relationships with them so they didn't think he was a professor they couldn't turn to. However, when it came to you, he couldn't help but feel slightly captivated. He was impressed with the way you carried yourself, down to how you'd participate in class and how you didn't come off like a student who hated every fucking professor they came across in their academic career. He appreciated the tiny details. "Not gonna lie though, I do get a little homesick whenever I don't get to visit for awhile, even though they don't live far. Truly makes me appreciate having my friends around."

"Ryujin, Taehyung and Jimin? No siblings?" He asks. Impressive. He paid attention.  Although, it's definitely not hard to figure out when you four were constantly [for the most part] stuck at the hip.

"Yup, those punks. I'm the only child so they've become family to me." You smiled hearing your friends' names. They honestly meant the world to you, and you weren't sure where you'd be without them.

"That's sweet. It's good to have people like that on your side of the court."

There was silence for a moment, with Jin looking at you over the rim of his cup, while you tried your hardest to keep yourself together. You felt the heat radiating throughout your body the longer you kept your gaze on him, the tension slightly building. You were a little relieved he didn't bounce the question back about your love life or anything regarding the matter. You almost feel guilty that you're digging pretty deeply into this situation yet again, but you felt comfortable with the way the conversation was going and the energy he was exuding.

"I, um--" You pause as you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. He keeps the same gaze on you, almost like he's trying to figure out what you'll say next by reading you and your body language. "I hope--"

"Y/N!" You hear Taehyung's deep ass voice yell for you from behind. "Oh fuck, sorry dude. Am I interrupting something?" To be quite frank, you were happy Taehyung interrupted when he did because you were just about to tell Jin how good he looked, respectfully, of course. You were going to keep it PG and comment on the tie he was wearing and how the pattern complimented him and the rest of his outfit.

"No, not at all." Jin chuckles. "We were just wrapping up, I have to get going." He stands and smiles at the both of you. "See you both in class soon."

"Peace out, Mr. Kim." Taehyung throws up the peace sign like a dumbass as you both watch him take his exit and walk towards his classroom.

"Peace out, Mr. Kim? Really, Tae?"

"I mean, he seems cool enough for me to do that, don't you think?" You shake your head and continue finishing up your work on your work laptop. "What was that about? Are you in trouble already? What'd you do?"

"Why do you have like, so much fucking energy right now?"

"I downed two redbulls before I got here."

"You're an idiot."

"Me and Jimin were up all night hunting."

"I stand corrected— you both are idiots." Taehyung clicks his tongue before raising his eyebrow, manspreading and leaning back into the chair.

"So, what was that really about?"

"We just had a chat!"

"Sure. You both were definitely eye-fucking each other. It was weird to walk into."

"Not everyone is like you, trying to fuck everything they see." You rolled your eyes. "He had just sat here for a minute and we talked about work and where we were from."

"Okay." He snorts and shrugs.

"You're being so dramatic. It was harmless."

"Definitely looked otherwise."

"You weren't even here for the majority of our conversation?"

"Didn't have to be, sweetheart." He winked, playfully caressing your chin. "Your secret is safe with me."

"You are so full of shit. I don't know how I've dealt with you for so long."

"Who's so full of shit?" Ryujin comes strolling along, with a tired Jimin who was sipping on an iced americano. He wore a cap and sunglasses with sweats and a fitted crewneck, looking like he just rolled the fuck out of bed.

"Taehyung, who else?" You both stood up to start slowly walking towards Mr. Kim's classroom. "Are you okay, Chim?" You asked, genuinely worried about him, but also trying to change the subject.

"Tired. Just tired." He shakes his head, lowering his the brim of his cap even more. "This dumbass kept messing up our hunt last night."

"I didn't mess anything up, you just weren't clear on the directions." Jimin smacked him upside the head. "And Y/N's just mad I caught her and Mr. Kim on a date." Ryujin gasped, while Jimin choked on his iced americano and coughed trying to get himself together.

"Excuse me, come again?" Ryujin squeezes your arm, causing you to slightly wince in pain before you can shake her off.

"Tae, really?" You rolled your eyes. "It wasn't a date! He just sat with me for a minute and we talked for a little bit. That's literally it."

"You forgot the part where you both were eye-fucking each other when I came along."

"What the fuck is even going on right now?" Jimin finally chimed in, making you sigh deeply.

"We were not!" You pushed Tae. "You're such an instigator."

"First, helping you with your groceries, now this? I didn't think you had it in you, girl! Actually pursuing an engaged professor." Ryujin joked, making herself laugh out loud. Jimin is now walking alongside of you, while Taehyung throws his arms around both you and Ryujin, swinging his big ass head back and forth between the both of you.

"He helped you with groceries last night? What?" Jimin is honestly so confused and is unable to keep up with the chaotic conversation.

"Look, I just ran into him at Trader Joes and he offered to bring my groceries to my car since it was getting late. And today, we just ended up talking for a little bit. That's it. Can we drop this?"

"Mr. Kim has the hots for Y/N!" Ryujin teased.

"That's it. I'm going to find new friends." You shrugged. "Unbelievable." Did they not listen to one word you just said?

"You should go for it and have fun." Taehyung winked.

"No, no. She shouldn't go for him or do anything." Jimin states loud and clear, making sure he grabs both Ryujin and Taehyung's attention by waving his hand in the air.

"Ah, come on Chim, it's just a little fun."

"Ry." Jimin says sternly.

"Okay, kidding." She rolls her eyes.

"This is getting so out of hand." You say as you all approached the door to Mr. Kim's classroom.

"Hey Mr. Kim." Ryujin waved her hand playfully, followed by Jimin and Taehyung who simply nodded and gave him a toothless smile. He happily returns her greeting, then flashes a small smirk as you pass him while arranging the papers on the front desk.

"Hmph." Ryujin smirks. "Told you so." You roll your eyes.

Chance's death anniversary arrives quicker than you'd like, causing you to pick yourself up and force yourself to get on with the day whether you like it or not. After work, you quickly visited his grave at the cemetery, balling your eyes out as you spend quite awhile sitting in silence, staring at his photo on the tombstone. Every memory, every good and bad moment that you shared with Chance flashed right before your eyes.

It was irreplaceable.

[ start flashback ]

"So, who would you want next to you if the end of the world was coming?"  You kept your gaze on the 'List of questions to ask your significant other' photo on your phone.

"What kind of morbid question is that?" Chance laughed as he continued to hug you tightly while you laid on his chest. "You, of course."

"Aw, thanks bebe. Same here."

"Are there any happy questions in there?" He scrolled down the list. "Like this one - what's the cutest thing your partner has ever done for you?"

"When we had dinner on a boat and you sang to me and everyone else having dinner." You laughed.

"Yeah, that was pretty cute wasn't it?"

"Shut up." You playfully covered his mouth. "Your turn."

"The cutest thing you've done? I don't know sweetheart, you've done a ton of cute things. I'd have to say you waking up next to me. It reminds me how real you are." You smiled and pecked him on the lips.

"I love you, chance."

"I love you too." He says almost at a whisper while caressing your chin. He was pulled out of the moment when his phone rang. "Ayo." He says. You watch as his facial expression changes. "For fuck's sake man, alright. Hang tight, I'll be there. Yo, don't be stupid and drive home drunk. I'm about to leave, okay? Your ass better be there by the time I get there." He sighed as he hung up the phone.

"What's wrong?"

"Josh is drunk as hell. I'm gonna go pick him up before he does something stupid."

"Can't he find a ride there?"

"Everybody left him. I can't just leave him there."

"I know, but--"

"It's gonna be fine, okay baby? I promise. I'll be back before you know it."

"Alright." You sighed. "Be safe, please."

"I will."

[ end flashback ]

When you finally arrived at school, you checked out your appearance to make sure you looked decent enough to get through class. You were hoping your psychology classes would go by quickly, just so you could get out of there and feel less suffocated.

"I'm sorry I can't come over." Ryujin pulls you into a tight hug and caresses your back. She had planned to spend time with you, but her sister called her last minute to ask if she could babysit her niece until late night. "But let me know if you need me, okay? I don't care if it's 1AM, I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Same. I'll do what I can to get out of this family thing." Jimin gives your arm a gentle squeeze. Jimin's family was visiting from Korea on a whim, so he had been pulled into some family festivities for the evening.

"Look, you guys. I'll be fine, okay? Don't worry about me. You know I love you both no matter what, do what you need to do."

"I'll text you when I'm on my way?" Taehyung is the only one who is able to spend time with you tonight, after he helps his younger brother with a project. You simply nodded before you split ways with your group and headed for the library. You were going to stick around and do some work at the library until Taehyung was free because there was no way you were going to go home alone, feeling the way you were feeling. You weren't going to get anything done, and you weren't going to have the energy to pull yourself together.

Today was heavy.

The library wasn't any better for you because your thoughts seemed to be louder in such a huge, quiet space. You were looking at the clock time and time again, hoping Taehyung would text you, letting you know he'd be on his way with tons of dessert and wine. Just cause that's what you wanted, right at this moment.

You sighed and cracked your neck from side to side, getting yourself into Steph Curry "Lock in" mode so you can push through your assignments that needed to get done. But, it just didn't happen that way. You were becoming frustrated and restless, so you quickly packed up your things and shoved them into your bag before walking out. The campus was lit with street lights, with barely any students walking around. It felt a little eery, but the walk to the lot wasn't too bad being that the garage was well-lit, with security guards on every level. You felt your phone buzz in your pocket, causing you to try and reach for it even though you were hauling the rest of the books that didn't fit in your bag. Next thing you knew, you had your phone, but your books had fallen to the floor, the papers stuffed in them falling out and getting wet from the wet grass next to the concrete walkway.

"Fuck!" You groaned to yourself as you quickly glanced at Taehyung's 'be there in about 30 minutes or so' text and bent down to pick up your mess. You really had no reason to cry over this shit, but all of the pent up frustration and emotions you had been feeling today pushed you over the edge. You aggressively wiped your tears away as you stuffed your wet papers back into the books and stacked them on top of each other.

"Y/N?" You look up to see Jin, tears still falling from your eyes. "Are you alright?" He bends down to help you gather your books, towering over you as he gathers the majority of your things.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you." You slyly wiped your tears once more as you grabbed the books from him.

"Hey." He placed his hand out to prevent you from walking any further. You look up at him, watching as he dips his head down to examine your face, your eyes still wet and glossy from the tears. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"Look, I'm fine and I don't wanna take time away--"

"You clearly aren't." His expression fills with worry. "And you aren't going to be taking time out of my evening." He finishes your statement for you. You sigh and close your eyes as your head dips lowly.

"It's just been a tough day, that's all."

"Let's talk about it." You look up at him as he nods for you to follow him to a bench near the parking garage. "Come on. I really won't forgive myself if I went home without trying to help." You silently follow him and place your things down before sitting. He sits next to you, with enough space placed between your position and his. "What's on your mind, Y/N?"

"Um." You pause and look at him. "On this day 3 years ago, I lost the love of my life to a car accident." You wiped your tears in between words. Jin's expression softened as he watched you break down in front of him, his heart breaking seeing you in pain like this. He wanted to do everything in his power to comfort you, hoping it would relieve some of the pain even though he knew it was something that would forever be embedded in you. But if he could provide any relief, then that would make him feel a little better.

[ start flashback ]

"It's been close to two hours, where the hell is he?" You said as you looked at your phone, sitting on the couch as you, Ryujin, Taehyung and Jimin watched a movie. Suddenly, breaking news flashed through the screen, cutting the movie to another commercial break earlier than expected.

"Breaking news - a white Lexus sports car and a Ford truck were involved in a head-on collision early this morning on Highway 101."

"O-oh my god." Ryujin says, as they look at the totaled cars. The Lexus was completely sandwiched at the median, while the truck was wrecked, but still stood in one piece off to the side.

"T-that's Chance's car." You said as you put your drink down on the coffee table to take a closer look at the car.

"Y/N, I'm sure Chance is fine and is on his way back." Taehyung chimed in from behind you.

"N-no." You stuttered, the feeling of despair in the pit of your stomach growing bigger by the minute. "N-no, I know his car."

"We might just be overthinking this." Jimin says, gently grabbing your wrist to pull you back down onto the couch, but you continued to stand.

"There was said to be one intoxicated passenger in the white Lexus, who is in critical condition and is being taken to the nearby trauma center. The driver of the truck was also intoxicated and injured, but is expected to survive. However, the driver of the white Lexus was pronounced dead at the scene." All of a sudden, you felt weak and dizzy because you just knew. You knew Chance wasn't okay, and you knew he wasn't on his way back to you. Soon after the news announcement, loud knocks came at the door. You looked back at your friends before making your way to the door, revealing two police officers standing before you. At this point, you felt like your entire life had been sucked out of you as you fell onto the floor, crying loudly while your friends tried their best to comfort you and speak to the officers for you. All you could remember hearing was the "i'm sorry's" from both police officers before everything turned into white noise. Everything felt numb.

[ end flashback ]

"I am so sorry, Y/N. I know my apologies are going to do much to ease the pain, but please know that I'm here for you whenever you need someone to talk to. I wanna do what I can to provide some relief." Is all Jin says as you continue to divulge about that night's details.

"You know," You looked up at the moon. "It's been 3 years, but it feels like it just happened yesterday. The pain always feels so fresh and it still feels so painful to think about it. It used to make me question why I was so deserving to continue living my life. I'm not an angel, I haven't been perfect. You know? Yet, someone who was so close to perfect, someone who was always so selfless and never hesitated to put others before himself was taken away from this world so easily? How did Josh survive, but Chance didn't? He was just going to help his friend out because he didn't want anything to happen to him, yet he ended up getting the short end of the stick. I was so mad." You shook your head. "I was so mad at Josh for awhile. I never understood and I still don't. I still don't fucking understand this." Your tears fell as you looked back at Jin.

"I can only imagine. There's things we'll never understand and quite frankly, it fucking sucks. But, I really don't want you to beat yourself up over this. I'm sure Chance wouldn't want you to, either. A lot of things happen for a reason, whether we like it or not, and it's hard to look at it in a different perspective. He's still with you, all the time. You're strong, and he knows this."

"I just don't know how I did this without him. It hurts so bad."

"I know, and it's okay to let yourself ride it out. Don't try and suppress the feelings just because you feel the need to act strong. If you don't let yourself process these feelings, it'll never get easier. It's okay to not be okay." He nods reassuringly. You smile at him toothlessly before sighing and getting yourself together. Although it had been quite the day, you felt a little relieved being able to talk to Jin about what's been going on. You felt a little more put together than you did earlier in the day and that's all that mattered. Baby steps.

"Is it okay if I give you a hug?" You asked shyly. You didn't know how else you could thank him for listening to you. You were sure he had tons of things on his plate, yet he still took time to sit with you out in the cold just to make sure you were okay. He chuckles and stands, his arms wide open, ready to envelope you. You wrap your arms around his torso, taking in his scent and breathing him in. He gently rubs your back before you pull away and smile up at him.

"I'll take a hug any day."

"I hope Grace won't be upset with you for coming home a little later than expected."

"She'll be fine. She's at the restaurant working late." His lips were pulled together in a fine line.

"Thank you again." You pull out your phone to check the time. 30 minutes from the last time Taehyung texted you was almost up, so you felt the need to get going sooner than later.

"It's not a problem." He puts his hand out, signaling for your phone. "Do me a favor and just let me when you get home, though? I'd feel better knowing you're safe and sound." You nod and hand him your phone. You knew you couldn't get wrapped up in whatever this was, no matter how flattered you were from the attention you were getting from him. He was still engaged, and he was still planning a life with Grace. The last thing you wanted to do was ruin that for someone genuine like Jin.

But God, was he making it difficult for you.

"I can do that."

"Thanks." He smiles toothlessly at you. "If you're ever in need of company or someone to talk to, don't hesitate to let me know. I'll be there in a heartbeat."

"Okay." You grabbed your things before walking away. Jin stood there, watching you walk deeper into the garage, feeling good about having been there at the right time. Something as simple as the hug you gave him had his thoughts running wild, just feeling your touch and your body against his. Albeit, it could be the lack of attention between him and Grace causing him to feel this way, but it was enticing all at the same time.

You were enticing.

And he could pick up on your little habits that made him want to know more. The way you'd look at him inside and outside of class. The way you always dressed so nicely when you had to take his class. The way you passed closely to the front desk, allowing him to take in your scent. The way you and your friends acted around him, knowing they were teasing you.

He knew, and he also knew what he was doing when he put his number in your phone.

He gets home and just as he mentions, Grace is still out at the restaurant working late. He kicks his shoes off to the side and heats up some leftovers to eat before retreating up to the master bedroom to call it a night early. As he's getting out of his clothes from today and heading into the shower, he notices his phone vibrating on the bathroom countertop, signaling a text.

[unknown number] 9:37pm: Hi, I'm safe and sound at home. :)

He smiles to himself before responding and heading into the shower.

[jin] 9:38pm: :) Goodnight Y/N, see you tomorrow.

[ladylouoflothlorien]

Sleeping Desires - Part 1

Bofur x Female Reader Word count: 2018 WARNING: This fic will contain mature themes, absolutely do not read this if you are underage, thank you. (18+ only) Summary: This was affectionately titled “Bofur LEMONS for LUNA???” in my google drive, and I think that’s all you need to understand this. It was born from the idea of Bofur having a crush on (read: utterly all-consuming devotion for) the reader, but thinking that it was unreciprocated until he overhears her having a rather explicit dream. This fic will be a multi-part, potentially 2 but most likely 3, so stay tuned.  Additionally, I have turned this into a game of ‘how many euphemisms can I come up with for dwarves?’ This part contains 5, and I’m pretty proud of that.

Bofur settled down with his pipe, back against a tree, as he prepared himself for the long and lonely dark of the middle shift of the night watch. For the earlier shifts, it would not be wholly unusual for other members of the company to still be awake, but by the middle shift the only person not asleep would be the one on watch. That was not to say that Bofur didn’t welcome the solitude. It was true that he was generally a far more outgoing and jovial dwarf than the rest of the motley crew of companions he found himself travelling with, and it was also true that he generally preferred not to be by himself, but there was another truth that he had come to find in recent months; some things are far easier to indulge in when there are no prying eyes to catch you at it.

Now, the particular indulgence that had led to this realisation was not at all a shameful one - leastways not in his estimation of the word - but he had his own reasoning for wanting it to be private all the same.

Bofur took a long drag of his pipe and slowly exhaled the smoke, watching the grey tendrils climb higher and higher before disappearing altogether, and then he finally turned his gaze to the human woman curled up in her bedroll beside him. It was sweet, he thought, how she seemed to have this habit of making herself smaller as she slept, tucking her legs up until the lump created by her sleeping form appeared not all that dissimilar in size to a dwarrowdam. Most dwarrow he knew tended to stretch themselves out when they slept, making themselves look as big as possible. The dwarf thought back as he had done many times to the moment Gandalf had introduced the woman to their company, claiming she’d been sent by the grace of the Valar from another world to assist them in their quest. Gandalf had not specified which of the Valar had been involved in that decision, though if Bofur had to hazard a guess, he’d say it was most likely Mahal scheming to get one of his own married off, for Durin himself knew Bofur would wife her if he had the chance.

But Bofur did not think he would. He knew his own merits as a Dwarf to be sure, and he knew he was a long way off unattractive - both in his looks and his merry personality - but he also knew that he was judging himself on the standards of his own kind. He had no idea what would or would not be appealing to a human woman.

His infatuation for the woman was the source of his new indulgence, which was essentially to gaze upon her most comely form as much as was dwarvenly possible. His desire to keep this indulgence a secret came from his belief that she very likely did not feel the same. As long as none of the other dwarves picked up on what he was doing, he could avoid both the embarrassment she would feel at having to - no doubt - politely but firmly decline his interest and the humiliation that would follow for himself at being rejected in a place where he would be stuck without a place to hide and lick his metaphorical wounds.  

Tonight he had placed his bedroll beside hers - though at a respectable distance apart - and he had set up for watch against the tree that brought him still closer to her. He did not do this as often as he would like, for he was incredibly conscious that if he did so it would be noticed by at least one other member of the company. What would then follow would be relentless teasing, and then no doubt his secret would be outed to all. No, Bofur was very content to merely snatch the few precious moments he could to gaze upon the woman in complete secrecy and thereby forego the risk of discovery.

Bofur was torn from his current line of thought by a quiet groan, and after a moment he realised it had come from the very woman occupying the entirety of the free space in his brain. The dwarf frowned. Was she in pain? Was she having a nightmare? Normally she was very quiet when she slept, turning or shifting her position maybe once or twice throughout the night. It was a stark contrast from the dwarves who kicked and flailed and snored loud enough to rattle the tiles off a roof - that is, if there was a roof over their heads, which more often than not on the journey there hadn’t been. The woman rolled over onto her back, and only then did Bofur notice the flush on her cheeks and the furrow between her brows. He felt a cold pit in his stomach, naturally assuming that she had caught a fever, but then her fingers loosely fisted the thin fabric of her blanket and her plump lips parted to let out a quiet but distinct moan. Bofur froze. Or at least, most of him did. Beneath the fabric of his breeches, his treacherous Dwarven steel twitched slightly. The dwarf swallowed and tried not to think on it, forcing his body to relax somewhat and pretend he hadn’t heard anything. The lass was sleeping, and the sound had not been meant for him, he would not dishonour her by pretending that it was. Still, he could not take his eyes off her, and guiltily drank in the sight of her squirming under her covers. Bofur did not think he would ever be granted a more wondrous sight, and so he could hardly be blamed for not averting his eyes. Besides… Whatever line of thought he’d been about to pursue, it was completely halted when the woman’s lips parted once more. “O-Oh, Bofur…” The sheer speed at which a certain part of his body stood to attention was frankly impressive.  Up until that point, though the substance of her dream had been fairly clear, he’d had no indication of who exactly she’d been dreaming of. Now it seemed as though he had confirmation that she was dreaming of him. Bofur couldn’t quite believe it, but then she moaned his name again, and Bofur was really, really trying not to watch the swell of her generous breasts as her quickened breath made them rise and fall more dramatically than usual. Bofur was used to dwarrowdams, who had little more than was strictly necessary to nurse a child…

The Dwarf looked away suddenly, blushing, and feeling rather like a voyeur even though he hadn’t - and could not have - expected that this would happen when he settled down beside her. But then he could hear the sound of her shifting against her sheets, continuing to whine softly under her breath, and he had to look back. Bofur was startled to see that all her shifting about had brought her blanket down around her waist and oh sweet Durin’s Beard this was too much. The strings holding her blouse closed had loosened, allowing the shirt open, and the dwarf was only barely saved from - or maybe robbed of - a glimpse at her pert nipples. His miner’s mattock was rock hard, straining against his breeches and practically begging for some attention, and Bofur had to fist his hands against the dirt to stop himself from doing just that. Bofur refused to get himself off to the dreaming woman. If there was one thing he wasn’t, it was a pervert. Oh, he might’ve gotten himself off quietly thinking of her once or twice - or maybe more than that - but he was certain that there was a line, however thin, between thinking of her whilst he did so and actually doing it with her sleeping form right beside him, letting out little sounds that were not truly meant for him to hear… even if they were meant for a version of him in her dreams.

Oh Mahal she was dreaming of him. The reality of that hit him again, and he had to thud his head back firmly against the tree at his back to clear his mind of any mental imagery the thought conjured. The woman herself wasn’t exactly being helpful. Bofur didn’t quite have the strength to look away, and he could see her hips writhing so aggressively he was truly impressed she hadn't jolted herself awake by now. The miner had to quickly swallow a groan when he looked at her expression again, with her face contorted in pleasure and her bottom lip swollen slightly from being bitten. Suddenly, she threw her head back and her lips parted in a silent scream as her thighs shook violently, and then she slumped back down against her bedroll, panting like she’d just been running. It took Bofur’s mind a second to catch up with what had actually happened before he realised that she had just had a real orgasm from a dream about him, but when it finally clicked the amount of blood that rushed downwards made him so lightheaded he had to plant his palms firmly against the ground to stop himself from falling to the side. The woman groaned softly in obvious contentment, and rolled onto her side, now facing his direction.

“Mmmm, warn a girl before fucking her senseless why don’t you…”  

Now, Bofur really hadn’t needed that. It was honestly a wonder that her words hadn’t made him cum right then and there. After a moment he noticed that his own breathing was almost as fast as hers had been, and he took a few deep breaths in an attempt to calm himself. It didn’t really work.

About 20 minutes later, when Bofur was sure the woman was actually sleeping properly and wouldn’t be putting on the same display for anyone else, he woke up the dwarf who would be relieving him from his shift on watch; Oin. In all that time, his spear had remained upright, trying to poke through his clothing. A rather unfortunate truth began to dawn on him when he settled down in his own bedroll and attempted to sleep - he wouldn’t be getting any rest until he took care of his little problem and polished his sword. He was ridiculously grateful that it was Oin on watch, as the old dwarf was certain to get tired of holding up his ear trumpet at some point, and when he did he wouldn’t be able to hear the kinds of quiet sounds Bofur would be making and attempting to muffle. Sure enough a few minutes later, the trumpet was lowered, and as surreptitiously as possible Bofur snatched his hat off his head to use as a cover over his mouth in case he wasn’t quite able to catch all his groans in his throat. One hand shakily slipped down into his breeches, fingers curling firmly around the handle of his axe. It was difficult, but he managed to force his hips to remain still as he brought himself to completion quickly, knowing that Oin would likely notice if he moved around too much. He stubbornly tried not to think of the woman, but the tighter his pleasure coiled in his belly the more his mind strayed to her face, thrown back during the height of her passionate dream. In the end, he guiltily visualised her, trying to imagine just what exactly she had dreamt about. It didn’t take him long to spill over his hand, and he cleaned himself up as best as he could with a spare undershirt that already badly needed cleaning. Bofur fixed his hat back on his head, and though he supposed he should really be embarrassed with what he’d just done, he wasn’t. He was certain Oin hadn’t noticed after all, Mahal bless him. Bofur shuffled around on his bedroll until he found a comfortable position and it didn’t take long before his eyes closed and a peaceful sleep claimed him for the rest of the night.  Forever Tags: @sweeticedtea​ @cd1242​ @strongandfreedc​ @pixierox101​ @jotink78​ @luna-xial​ @underthemoon-n​

[bitchiha]

Excuse me sir 👀 May I ask a question?? What kind of flowers do you think Naruto, Kakashi, and Gaara will give their s/o? ❤

Flowers for their s/o

A/N: OHHH I like this it got my brain whirring, I did Narutos with his crush instead of his significant other, but its okay shhh. Also these are kinda short, but I think they’re cute. 

Warnings: not proofread :D <3

Naruto

Naruto gets you flowers to ask you out on your first date.

Gosh this boy wants to give you the prettiest flowers, but he lacks any ability to take care of them. It’s a disaster, truly. He also has zero idea what kind of flowers you’d like, the only kind he knows are like.. dandelions?

He thinks flowers are the perfect way to show you his true feelings. Everyone loves getting flowers, ya know? But, oh Gosh.. He couldn’t wait to see them make you all flustered, to see your lips part way for a surprised giggle as you gently pulled them away from his hands happily. Would you rush back into the house to put them into a vase, or would you bury your nose into them and inhale the loving scent that reflected Narutos feelings for you? Either one would make his heart swell in its constricting cage...

He asks Ino for help. After all she works at a flower shop, but then he just gets flustered because of her bombardment of questions as to who they’re for, so he ends up leaveinh all huffy and puffy.

Wanders around the Leaf looking for another flower shop, but he doesn’t find any. Instead he stumbles upon a patch of flowers peaking out from a bush. As he stares at them, depressed about his failure to buy you your own, he gets an idea. Then suddenly he’s on his knees picking them from the bush as carefully as possible for Narutos standards. He stares for a moment at the silkiness of the petals and how delicate they were in his hands, it reminded him of your skin. He picks a bunch, plucking and plucking like every flower was another confession of his own wild love.

It takes all his patience and care to actually bring the flowers to your doorstep. But in the end he makes it to your doorstep and he hands the white Camellias to you with a proud smile. They had a few petals missing and some scuff marks on them, but it’s the thought that counts. Your face is unreadable at first and as he stands at your doorway a nervous red hue began to colour his cheeks. Did you... did you not like them?

You take the bouquet in your hands, ducking inside to place them down. For a second he thinks you’re gonna close the door on him, but once your hands are free your springing at him. Arms slinging around his shoulders and legs wrapping around his waist, he realizes that you were hugging him after a few moments. As he finally came back to himself, he could hear your thank you’s muffled by your head buried into his neck.

Your reaction makes his heart beat so fast that it felt like he was overheating, he was surprised you weren’t burning. He watched you (with a grin from ear to ear and a face so red it looked painful) as you hurried inside to place them in a vase. Mission successful.

White camellias: a symbol of adoration and love

Kakashi

Kakashi gives you flowers when he wants to remind you of his love.

It was your one year anniversary and Kakashi was spending it cramped in a tent with a very sassy Sasuke and a hot headed Naruto. Kakashi was crushed, not only by the weight of Narutos body colliding with his as Sasuke yanked his leg out of his blanket, kicking the blonde with all the strength his sleepy body had, but he was also crushed by the fact he had been neglecting you for weeks.

He was hardly ever around you anymore, constantly on missions, babysitting Team 7... There was no mistaking your disappointment when had when he told you he was going to miss your special anniversary. He had been cancelling plans with you for a while now, hardly ever able to even make it for Friday date nights — all because of work. You were always so understanding, even when he knew how hard it was for you. And he missed you. He really fucking missed you.

He missed wrapping his arms around you, his face snuggled into your hair as he breathed in that watermelon scented shampoo you always used. The way your plush lips would part in surprise as he caught you off guard, bending down to meet your ear and whisper about all the things he wanted to do to you. It always ended up with a stern look and a scolding “kakashi!” but he knew both of those reactions were half hearted as you pulled yourself closer to him. Your apartment, cramped and tiny but still the most homey place he had ever been...

When he finally gets home after the mission, he’s rushing through the busy streets in search of the Yamanaka flower shop. Roses. Kakashi needed to buy you roses. His face was on fire due to all the teasing he got from Ino. “Ohhh Kakashi-sensei, these are really pretty! Are they for y/n?” She always did this when he came in to buy you flowers, but he never complained. She was the one who told him your favourite flowers were roses, so he decided he could tolerate her.

Then he’d be at your doorstep with a lardge bouquet and a puppy dog look on his face. “I’m sorry I’ve been so busy, y/n. And gosh.. I missed you. Please let me make it up to you...”

Queue the best fucking makeup sex ever

bye lol 

Not bye I forgot to add this.. red roses: longing, love or desire

Gaara 

Gaara gives his significant other flowers like they’re boxes of chocolates, they’re the best way for him to communicate his feelings towards you. 

This man is constantly showering you in plants like oh my lord. Your apartment is full of plants, ranging from the bouquets he makes for you all the way to the cacti and succulents decorating every surface of your windowsills. 

They keep you pretty busy too, with having a Kazekage for a boyfriend you often feel neglected, but the plants keep you occupied. Honestly his love of plants grows on you as your relationship goes on. Like whenever he comes over to your house he will make sure that you are keeping the plants healthy and gives you tips and random facts on them. 

The first time Gaara ever decided to give you a flower was when he was going to ask you to be his girlfriend. The two of you were so close it was almost like you were practically dating already, but Temari told Gaara that he needed to solidify the relationship. 

This man was dumbfounded as to how he was supposed to ask you that and when he told Temari of this dilemma she simply suggested he get you some flowers. He felt stupid that he hadn’t though about it before considering that he literally has his own garden that he adores. 

With that, he picks out his favourite and most beautiful flowers that he could find in his garden. He enjoyed putting the bouquet together so much that he couldn’t help but go a little overboard. 

At first he had been so puzzeled as to which flower you may have liked, but then he thought about what kind flower you reminded him of and he realized that you reminded him of all the plants in his garden. All of them had such unique aspects and qualities that made them so wonderful and there was always something about every plant that had his mind pulling towards you. 

So the bouquet he gave you was huge and absoloutely gorgeous. When he gave it  to you at your apartments door step he was so nervous and embarrassed, like oh my gosh he thought he was gonna pass out. But your reaction made all of his butterflies fly away. 

All fucking the flowers ever: Gaaras coping mechanism for his nerves

[bahannah01writes]

Lunar Love

Pairing: Kim Namjoon x Reader

Genre: Light Angst and Fluff

Word Count: 4.2k

Summary: Namjoon has been overworking himself lately; the bags under his eyes and the constant headaches are enough to let you know- no matter how much he tries to deny it. You’re not sure how to help any more than what you’ve done until a certain video online offers some insight.

W o w I honestly didn’t mean to write this much but it happened and I love it lol I hope you do too!

     You’re always both amazed and surprised by how true the saying ‘the city never sleeps’ is.

     Of course, you have adjusted to the city life by now and the wonder of the shimmering lights have dulled in your eyes- if anything, you miss the stars that they unfairly outshine. They are always so much more vibrant once you leave Seoul, they remind you of the world beyond your own and how small everything really is. Thoughts like that are usually taken in a rather melancholy manner, but you choose to embrace it and find comfort in it somehow. Because while we may be so small, we are gifted with this expansive universe to live and love in. From your own experiences this is simply true, and love, well it really is a gift.

     And your gift just so happens to go by the name Kim Namjoon.  

     The path you currently take leads you to your gift with many distractions attempting to catch your attention and carry your eyes to them rather than him, but you’re stubborn. There’s only one distraction you need tonight, or actually, you may be the one distracting him this time.

     He has always been one to overwork himself; MONStudio would become his fortress of solitude, the amount of melodies and lyrics brought to life within those walls is more than imaginable. Yet, so is the amount of sleep lost. Namjoon truly pours every ounce of himself into his work and while you admire him for it, you also wish he would be a little more selfish and take some time away from the busy world of BTS.

     Even now, that man is hauled up in his studio and despite how brilliant he is, it seems like he can never keep track of time working on tracks. After all, another promise about being home at a certain time has been broken tonight. This time it was by two hours, which is why you’re currently walking down the streets of Seoul at 2:30am with a bag of fish bread and other little snacks.

     Does Namjoon know? No… and he would surely tell you not to come if he did. His protective nature would certainly scold you for walking alone so late at night, especially if it was because of him. So, you decided upon a surprise visit with food because how can he resist cuddles and food?

     Besides, it’s only a five-minute walk from your apartment; it could be worse. You don’t take any alleyways either and even if you did, the pepper spray in your purse proves to be a great reassurance.

     With one last turn down a street corner, you’re met with the company that holds your dear workaholic. You walk with a new bounce in your steps, energized by the idea of seeing your probably sleepy boyfriend after going two days without his darling dimpled smile. Once inside the building, you greet the security and secretary manning the front and after a quick moment of small talk while signing in for security purposes, your feet lead you down a path that is all too familiar.

     Finally, your destination is before you when you see the entrance to a room that Namjoon had indefinitely made his own. ‘MONstudio’. As one of the lucky few to be able to walk in and out freely, you still try to be polite first. A knocks echoes out into the empty hallway and onto possibly deaf ears with no response following soon after. You suspected as much; his headphones silence the outside world and allow him to sink into his own creations. They’re stuck to his head as if they’re directly connected to his brain. Sometimes you wonder if they are whenever you listen to his music- as he lives and breathes, that man is music.

     A turn of the handle allows you to confirm your suspicion. Large headphones tune him out from the world around him and keep him synced to the studio. Tufts of disheveled gray hair cause a sympathetic smile to cross your lips as you can imagine how many times stressed hands ran through them. His eyes are probably dry as well- you should have brought eye drops. Or maybe he still has the one you bought him in his studio. After all, a person can only go so long being immersed with their computer screen before it’s at the expense of their eyes.

     A gentle hand reaches out to settle on his shoulder- not wanting to spook him and repeat what happened last time. His eyes glance over first, then after registering it as your hand, his head turns towards you and his expression twists into one of pure elation. His dimpled smile reaches his eyes as he quickly removes his headphones to stand up and take you in a warm embrace.

     Returning his action, you snuggle into his touch, just happy to be in it again, “Hello to you too, Joon.”  

     “I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever!”

     “Maybe it’s because you keep yourself locked up in here and come home way too late,” you tease, earning a bashful chuckle from the guilty party in front of you. He takes a seat back in his chair, though never lets go of your hands.

     “I know, I know. Just, it’s a busy time right now, Jagi.”

     “Which is why it’s even more important to take time to recharge and avoid burnout, right?”

     He taught you too well. Whenever you would overwork yourself, he’d be so concerned and tried to reason with you as to why overworking results in burnouts which does nothing but leave you worn and unproductive in the end. Ergo, taking time to yourself and allowing downtime when working keeps you more productive in the long run. And here you are, reminding him of his very own advice- which makes It kinda hard to deny.

     “Plus, you owe me two hours.”

     …That is also true.

     “So what’s in the bag, jagi?” His swift, but not subtle, change in subject is given a pass and causes you to laugh. Taking a seat on the floor, you begin to unpack and set out the delectable snacks: their colorful packaging contrasts against the fairly mellow color scheme of the studio.

     “Some treats for my hardworking baby. We can eat some now, some on the walk home, and then some when we get home. Or all now. However you want to do it,” You ramble, your sleepy brain starting to take effect. Namjoon joins you on the ground and lets out an airy laugh at your rambles which he finds rather cute.

     That is before he realizes you said ‘the walk home’.

     “Wait, did you walk here?”

     “Well… only to help pull you out of overworking so you won’t get burned out.”

     The two of you sort of stare at each other for a moment as you wonder if either of you will challenge the other on the matter.

     Namjoon shrugs and picks up one of the fish bread treats, the red bean snack acting as an unspoken peace treaty. One of which you agree to, picking up one for yourself.

     Half an hour passes and the majority of snacks have been sacrificed to the early morning munchies. Talks consist of the norm albeit bouncing from subject to subject, whether it be how the rest of the boys are to him being in love with the fact that his mother adores you. The mere idea that you visit his family while he’s away to check on and spend more time with them is so precious. Although, he will try to ignore the idea of a possible exchange of embarrassing stories about him between you two- that is something he would prefer not to add to his list of worries.

     You toss a wrapper into his trash bin and watch it hit against the rim before falling in, a small victory that you possibly find more pride in than you should. All the same, it fuels you with a sense of confidence in going into making your latest attempt at getting your boyfriend to spend his night curled up in bed with you rather than sleeping, slumped over his desk with neck and shoulder pain awaiting him in the morning.

     “So, since I got us snacks, that means you owe me.”

     His brows raised as his dimples make another appearance, “I owe you?”

     You hum, taking his hand in yours, “You do, which is why you’re going to come home and go to sleep for at least… a healthy eight hours. You know, enough to recharge that brain of yours and when you wake up, I’ll also reward you with breakfast.”

     His thumb slides across the back of your hand, dark eyes glancing to his clock that only works to convince him with each passing second of the night slipping away, “Okay… I’ll take a small break.”

     A victorious fist launches into the air before you wrap yourself around him, the impact causing him to lose his balance for a moment until he could recover and hug you back. Laughter fills his studio while you place little kisses all over his face, “Winning has never been so great!”

    For the first night in a few days, you’re able to enjoy a night together and leave work at the doorstep- which is how it’s supposed to be. When you started this relationship, you knew what came with it. The late nights, the touring, the second-hand stress from all the pressure put on your workaholic lover; you knew it was coming and you were prepared for it.

    You still are. If anything, your worries lay with Namjoon. While the makeup and smiles help to hide it from the public, the lack of sleep has taken a toll on him. He’ll even forget to eat if you don’t remind him. Namjoon will lock himself in his studio for hours and work till he passes out- or, if he does come home, you can feel all the tension he holds within himself by a single touch. The thoughts that occupied his mind hardly left.

     There are some days that you can hug him without sensing the stress that radiates off him as well as those moments when you can look into his eyes and see the peace within them; those are your favorite kind of days.

     You just wish you could find a way to make those days happen more.

      The sun peeks in from the windows like a stubborn and excited friend who wants you to wake up so, so badly because the morning is ‘the best part of the day’. Naturally, you pull the blanket over your head and bury your head into Namjoon’s chest, resisting the warm glow in an attempt to make the night last longer. A hand travels along your side, causing you to look up to the only one who it could be just to catch the gaze of a sleepy and smiling Namjoon, “Morning, baby girl.”

     You tilt your head up to leave a light kiss where his jaw meets his neck, “Morning, Joon, did you sleep well?”

     Realizing just how much he’s missed early mornings with you, even if it was almost 11am, he couldn’t help but pull you closer to his body, “The best I have in a long time.”

     “Really? See, told you that you just have to listen to me, silly,” The smile reaches your eyes as your light teasing causes an airy chuckle to pass his lips, no matter what he will never escape your teasing, will he? Then again, he can’t say he doesn’t miss it when he’s on tour either.

     “I guess you’re always right after all.”

     “You bet I am!”

     A sudden burst of energy pulses through your vein as you sit up and deliver a sweet kiss to his lips, resting a hand on his cheek, “Now, get your bum ready. I’m making breakfast!”

     In a swift motion, you leap off the bed and dash into the kitchen, making all sorts of noise as you take out all the pans, bowls, and utensils needed. The clattering in the kitchen beckons your lover from bed, albeit not without some delay due to the sleep still in his eyes. Hands come around your waist, halting your cooking and pulling you closer to the chest behind you. His head cranes over and rests on your shoulder, his eyes lingering on your own to share a sweet gaze. The unspoken question in the air is answered when you press your lips to his own plump pair, raising to lay a hand on his cheek to help deepen the exchange.

     “What are you making?”

     “I was just thinking some omelets and sausages, I also have fruit I can take out,” You propose, leaning into his touch and smiling up at a face you will never be tired of seeing.

     His hum of delight tells you that he more than approves and causes you to laugh a bit, “A delicious breakfast without Jin’s sass, love it.”

     Slipping out of his grasp, you shake your head, “The only reason he’s so strict and sassy with you in the kitchen is that despite your very sweet efforts to help, you mess with his flow.” Said discouraged helper hops on the counter and watches as you start to move breakfast along, “Plus, he may still be upset about that time when you tried to help with baking and added granulated sugar rather than powder.”

     Namjoon throws his head back, “They’re both sugar!”

    “And yet, they’re so different.”

     You try but fail at holding in your giggle when he sighs in exasperation, giving up and grumbling, “I know that now.”

     “Go wait in the living room, you goof, I’ll be done in just a moment, okay?”

     “Okay,” before he follows your playful orders, Namjoon leaves you with a swift kiss on the cheek.

     Moments later, you proudly plate your breakfast. The two plates look absolutely appetizing and you can’t wait to show Namjoon either; hopefully, you’ll even impress him. Feet pad against the floor as you carry the plates over to your tiny table, setting them down gently. Remembering that you typically need utensils to eat food as well, you make your way back into the kitchen and collect two sets of forks and knives.

     “Alright, Joonie! We are all-” The words got caught in your throat as you see his lips shift into a frown and his eyes refusing to meet your own. You know all too well what that face means by now. “… Already?”

     “I’m sorry Y/n, they called and-”

     Dejected yet sympathetic, you wave your hand to stop him from saying anymore- both because you already know the words to follow and also to save yourself from a small heartbreak. You muster up a smile and hug him, not letting him respond before you can say your peace with it, “It’s okay, we did wake up a little later and it probably is around noon right? I’m fine, Joon. I’ll wrap up your food so you can take it with you.”

     It almost feels like Namjoon’s afraid you’ll slip away with how tight he’s holding you.

     “Thank you, I… I really hope you know how much I appreciate you.”

     Rather than answering, you take his face in your hands, reach up, and kiss his nose. Eyes lock onto one another and speak silent words that no tongue could match.

     The following days hardly lighten up and Namjoon only seems to progressively get worse. The stress of the new comeback is weighing on him more than the ones preceding it, which only causes you to worry even more. You do all you can to help lighten the load whether it’s visiting him with small gifts and food or sending him encouraging little messages throughout the day. He says it helps- but you can still see how heavy the pressure is weighing on Namjoon despite him dismissing it and saying he’s okay.

     At this point, you don’t know what you can do anymore.

     Those fleeting moments where you see his truly happy self are becoming less and less. The very burnout that you were worried about is happening and you’re not positive if there is anything you could possibly do to help turn it around- not until after the comeback passes. But even then, a tour is surely soon to follow. How can you get a man to take time for himself if there’s hardly any room for it to begin with?

      You would see him less and less over the next two weeks. Of course, you two wanted to see each other, but between your own work and how busy he’s become, it became almost impossible. Even when you were free, getting him out of his fortress of solitude is a fight. And one night it really escalated to an actual fight, words would shoot back and forth. You were frustrated and he was stressed and suddenly, all of those pent up emotions shot out over the phone at each other.

     Thankfully, he did take time to visit you the next afternoon and apologize, you did as well, but in the end, the two of you felt defeated… Because again, what can you do to change it?

     Or so you thought.

     Late night videos sessions can lead to many things and your virtual journey last night lead you to a possible answer. It would take a bit of time and lots of research to make it happen though- but you’re determined to see Namjoon’s face when the surprise is revealed.

     For the first time in weeks, you’re feeling reinvigorated. You are motivated and thrilled over this new idea, anticipation growing with each passing day and with each new piece of progress. While you’re not usually fond of the lack of communication between you and Namjoon, admittingly it is easier to hide all your possibly suspicious running around. Plus, it also allows you to get your apartment ready for what’s to come.

                                                          x

     Finally, the day arrives when everything has come together and you are bouncing in place, the excitement bubbling over while you wait for Namjoon to arrive at your apartment. Your surprise lingers in the corner of your eyes, waiting to be revealed and you feel as if he can’t get here soon enough.

     As if your thoughts have summoned him, a knock on your door echoes through the apartment. Adrenaline pulses through your veins, feet dashing towards the door and swinging it open only to throw your arms around the neck of your sweetheart. You receive a delayed return of your hug, possibly due to the surprise of such excitement, and few soft chuckles, “Happy to see you too.”

     “Better be because I have a surprise!”

     “Do you now?” All he gets is a happy hum as a response while you take his hand in yours, leading him further into the apartment. You let go for a brief moment just to close your door behind him and then reach up from behind him, placing hands over his eyes, which makes Namjoon all the more amused by this peculiar situation, “Jagi, what is going on?”

     “I told you, I have a surprise and I don’t want it to be accidentally spoiled. So, let’s go to the couch and I’ll go grab it from there, okay?”

     He follows without another question, knowing that if he goes with this plan of yours it will all be a lot smoother for him. After a few more steps, you tell him to take a seat, he does, and leave him with one last order to not open his eyes- he promises he won’t. Smiling to yourself, you leave your temporarily sight depraved boyfriend on the couch as you approach the 50-gallon tank set against the wall on a small bookcase. You remove the top and ever so carefully reach down to grab the colorful creature from her branch, thankfully, she appears to be rather calm and doesn’t move around too much. Gently approaching Namjoon again, making sure to keep your little friend safe, you sit across from him on the floor. Once situated, eyes glance up at his closed ones, waiting to watch his reaction, “Alright, you can look.”

     So he does.

      Almost instantly the Joon that you’ve missed, the one whose mind is free from the plague of stress, returns. His dimples make an appearance as his smile spreads across his cheeks, he moves down to the floor to get a better look at this new addition to his heart. His dark eyes only met yours once before returning to the animal with such fascination that you haven’t seen in weeks.

     You couldn’t hold back your giggle; completely in love with the man in front of you. The childlike wonder in his eyes tells you that this surprise really is a good one and will hopefully assist in destressing Namjoon in a new and interesting way.

     “I’m sure you already guessed as much, but this is your surprise, Joonie. She’s a little Moon crab! A Halloween Moon crab specifically.”

     “A Halloween Moon Crab? How did you even find her?” He asks, though his eyes never leave the tiny crab that’s only about two inches big. Not that you mind, she is rather beautiful and well, Namjoon really loves his crabs. Her legs are a soft orange, apart from her two claws that prove to be an absolutely vibrant violet. The back was a stark contrast from the bright colors, covered in black. Two pale orange specks are next to her eyes and one in between above her mouth, they are all accompanied by four smaller white dots that lead down her back- her sweet and spooky color scheme leaves no room to wonder where her name comes from.

     “I guess since I was watching animal videos, when I was looking up ‘Moon Child’ Moon crabs were a suggestion and I couldn’t help but look into them. I found out that they can be kept as pets and I thought she may help you take a little more time to yourself- even if it’s just because you want to see her,” You trail off, an amused smile playing on your features as you gently set down the little crab on the coffee table behind you, “They like to eat fruits, so I’m going slice up some mango and you can watch her. You also need to think of a name for her!”

     His excitement grows at both the idea to name this tiny sweetheart and to watch her eat, too. Namjoon gently pets her back, still in some disbelief that this is really happening. You got him a crab- a crab! Oh- he’ll have to do some research about this little girl; he wants to know everything and anything so he can make sure that she’ll always be a happy crabby. He also has to think of a name and while he can’t quite place why, Namjoon is liking Namsun- maybe Nammie or Sunnie for short.

     A little over a minute later, you return with a small plate of thinly sliced mango and lettuce. Slipping next to Namjoon, you place the tiny platter in front of the crab- automatically gaining her attention and a few cute clicks of her claws as she scutters over. In the most adorable and odd fashion, she begins to eat one of the mango slices, picking it up with her purple pinchers and feeding it into her mouth while her eyes bobble a little to inspect the rest of the plate. Namjoon made little noises of awe which you may or may not have made your own noises of awe at.

     “So, did you think of a name?”

     His gray hair shakes with his nod, “I was thinking about Namsun!”

     “Namsun and Namjoon, it’s perfect!” You lay your head on his shoulder as you two contently watch Namsun eat. A feeling akin to being a proud parent washes over you and you place a chaste kiss on his lips, “You’re going to help out, right? Make time for her and yourself?”

     He chuckles, wrapping an arm around you and breaking his gaze on Namsun to look at you, “I will, definitely… huh, and you know what?”

     “Hmm?”

     Namjoon’s lips slip into a smirk, “With Namsun around, I won’t be just your daddy anymore.”

     “… I get you a crab and you do this to me?”

     He simply throws his head back in laughter and despite your rolling eyes, you couldn’t be happier. Your Namjoon is back; your playful and curious boyfriend whose beaming with such elation is back. And as you watch him gently stroke Namsun’s back, you know that even if there are few more bumps in the road, Namjoon will continue on with a reminder that it’s okay to take a break- all thanks to a girl who loves him and a spooky little crab.

x x x

The moment I found out about this crab and how cute it was I knew I needed to somehow include it in a fic with Joon haha so again, I hope you liked it! Feel free to tell me what you think and if you have any requests! :)

[marlonrae]

&. SASHA VISITS MONA!

who: @fckmonax​ and sasha; preston’s friend. & marlon. where: mona’s place warning: highkey! problematic! - nsfw ig.

SASHA

knocks on the door a few times and waits, scrolling through her phone

MONA

jumps at the sound of a knock on the door, carries ven with her to go open the door “Hopefully you’re not a murderer!” opens the door, grins at sasha, pulls her in for a hug “Wow, I totally forgot I invited you over.”

SASHA

laughs and shakes head, rolling her eyes at mona's comment ''Am I that irrelevant? I don't think so.'' chuckles and gasps when she looks at ven ''YOU'RE SO MUCH MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN I THOUGHT YOU WERE, WOW.'' grins widely and strokes Ven's cheek. ''Oh my god, pictures don't do her justice, look at her.'' pouts

MONA

laughs, shrugs “What can I say? My brain has been very occupied with all things Venecia all morning.” steps aside to let her in, grins at the compliments, knows they’re all true “Wanna hold her?”

SASHA

grins, looking like she won the lottery. ''Yes, of course, yeah.''

MONA

chuckles, pushes the door closed “She’s like the easiest baby ever, I promise.” kisses ven’s forehead, carefully maneuvers to hand her off, switches to baby voice “Hey Venny. This is mommy’s friend. She’s gonna hold you for a bit, okay?” doesn’t let got until sasha has her securely

SASHA

grins at both ven and mona and holds her like a pro, placing a hand in the back of V's head. ''Ugh, I already love her so much.'' looks down at Ven and kisses her cheek gently. ''The most beautiful baby ever, I SWEAR.''

MONA

smiles proudly at the two of them getting along so well “Isn’t she just the best? I am totally obsessed with her and I’m glad you can see why.” pulls out her own phone, snaps a pic of them “Seriously, though. I’m not sure what I did to be blessed with a baby girl so perfect. I can’t wait for her to be just like me!”

SASHA

''She really is the best.'' cant stop looking at Ven and giggles when mona snaps a picture of them. ''You need send me that asap.'' nods ''For sure, she's gonna be just as beautiful as you are when she's older, you'll see.''

MONA

nods, immediately sends the photo over ”Oh, please. She’s gonna be prettier than me. We don’t even look like mother and daughter.” pouts

SASHA

furrows brows and looks at Ven and then at Mona. Hums. ''How does her dad's side of the family look like?''

MONA

“Dark hair, dark eyes, tan skin. They’re Puerto Rican.” navigates through phone, pulls up a pic and hands it over “This is her Aunt Mariana. She literally looks more like her than like me.” pouts

SASHA

looks at the pic and frowns, def seeing the resemblance. ''I mean, yeah, she's pretty and all but I'm sure Ven will grow out of it and look more like you as she grows older.''

MONA

“I wouldn’t mind if she continued to look like Mariana though. Mariana’s gorgeous.” shrugs, sighs “Do you want anything to eat or drink?” leads the way towards the kitchen “Preston’s weird about his stuff, so maybe don’t touch anything?”

SASHA

shrugs, not at all impressed by mariana's looks. ''Yeah, I guess she's alright.'' looks down at ven and smiles, blown away by how adorable she is. ''Hm, do you have snacks?'' giggles

MONA

looks at them adoringly, checks through the cabinet for snacks “Looks like we have potato chips... barbecue ones, oreos, an assortment of fruits. Sorry that the selection is kinda lame.” shrugs “We can also go out if you’d like.”

SASHA

hums ''Do you have ketchup?''

MONA

quirks brow “Yes...”

SASHA

“Potato chips with ketchup are a blessing.” grins excitedly

MONA

makes a disgusted face “Would’ve never guessed that you’d be the type for that combo, but who am I to judge?” grabs both the chips and ketchup for her “Want me to grab her?” gestures at a now asleep ven

SASHA

''I can't believe she fell asleep on me.'' smiles and pouts at the baby. ''I love that she's comfortable, ugh but yeah, I'll take her again in a bit.'' very carefully hands ven over

MONA

“She’s probably exhausted from the sleep she didn’t get last night.” takes ven, rocks her to keep her asleep “That and she’s totally comfortable with you.” puts ven in her crib, walks back out with the baby monitor “But I didn’t ask. How are you? How is life?”

SASHA

frowns ''Why? What happened?'' totally walks into the kitchen as if she owns the place and grabs a bowl for the chips and pours ketchup all over them. ''Life is good, a little uneventful at the moment, but good. Michael's been working a lot lately and that's super boring.'' sighs, eating her chips. 'Want some?'' offers the bowl ''What about you? Your life seems to be much more eventful than mine.''

MONA

“No clue. She just had energy all day and night for some reason.” sighs, shakes head “Literally P and I got no alone time.. if you know what I mean.” watches her, genuinely confused by the chip situation, shakes head “Your whole life doesn’t revolve around Michael though, right? - Unfortunately, my whole life does revolve around Venecia.”

SASHA

frowns ''If you ever need alone time, I could help babysit. Just give me a call.'' smiles and shakes head ''No, it revolves around my phone, mostly.'' laughs ''I truly don't have a life but I don't really care, it's fine. I'd love to have more action or drama but I guess I'm lucky I don't.'' shrugs, eats more chips

MONA

“That would be amazing, but that’s what my sisters are for. I would never pass on an irritable Ven to you.” chuckles “I’ll get them to babysit some time while we hang.” shakes head “Believe me you do not want drama. What’s so entertaining on your phone though?”

SASHA

''I doubt she ever gets irritable.'' chuckles, is literally loving her chips. ''But I do, nothing exciting ever happens for me. I wanna be involved in something entertaining. Do you get drama often?'' chuckles ''Honestly, social media, online books and youtube.''

MONA

scoffs “Play one round of peek a boo with her and you’ll see how irritable she can get.” sighs “Honestly.. So much. Like a sex tape of me and my sister’s husband literally leaked a few months back. Drama follows me everywhere, so if I could have it not, that’d be ideal.”

SASHA

gasps, puts the bowl down ''A sex tape with your sister's husband?'' jaw drops ''Please, elaborate.''

MONA

sighs “Well it was old first off, and he wasn’t her husband at the time of filming.. was her boyfriend, though.” shakes head “I probably shouldn’t be telling you this. It’s way too soon for you to know this about me.” chuckles “But we were both just kind of going through weird stages in our relationships and we did something stupid.. multiple times. And I guess at some point in our drugged out, sexed up state, we thought making a video was a good idea.” sighs “I didn’t even remember any of this, but kind of just had to put the pieces together when suddenly there was evidence of it floating around.”

SASHA

is shocked and wide-eyed but lowkey loves everything about the story even though she probably shouldn't. chuckles. ''That's... terrible but amazing.'' chuckles again, shaking her head ''Is he cute?''

MONA

laughs, shakes head "I'm definitely going to hell for it, but you're totally gonna lose some points for that reaction." chuckles "You will not find him attractive. He kind of gives off Jafar from Aladdin vibes." pulls up a pic of marlon on her phone "This is Marlon. He's my best friend."

SASHA

jaw drops again, takes the phone and stares at it for a good 30 seconds before looking back at mona ''Oh... my god!''

MONA

takes her phone back, rolls eyes

SASHA

shakes head, shocked ''Mona, I know him.''

MONA

jaw drops "What?"

SASHA

nods, wide-eyed. ''It's kind of a long story but basically he was my brother's drug dealer for like the longest time and they would hang together and I always thought he was so hot and I was younger than him but I...'' chuckles, shaking her head ''... finessed him and I sneaked him in one night and yeah.'' shrugs and giggles. ''I had like the biggest crush but then he kind of like grew tired of me..'' pouts slightly ''... eventually I got over it, though.'' shrugs dismissively ''But woah, this is so bizzare.''

MONA

stares wide-eyed, listens, shook "Holy shit... He wasn't like, your first or anything, right?" pulls out her phone "I'm texting him right now. Can I invite him over?" laughs, shakes head "This is insane." laughs some more "And you genuinely liked him? Wild." laughs

SASHA

laughs. ''I mean, there was a guy before him but I was really young and  he was basically the first guy I ever had like real sex with but no, he didn't actually took my virginity, my neighbor Jason did when I was even younger.'' laughs and covers her mouth, shaking her hand. ''OH MY GOD! I haven't seen him in forever, that's so embarrassing.'' laughs and nods, figuring that this was truly the most problematic thing happening in her life in the past year or so. ''I liked him so much.'' shakes head, still laughing. ''I thought he was the hottest dude around. - I mean, he is kinda hot but please don't tell Mike I said that.'' chuckles

MONA

finishes writing out her text to marlon, focuses on sasha again "This is truly the strangest coincidence. I'm glad he didn't take your virginity though. That'd make him coming over here a little more awkward than this is already gonna be. " literally just laughs some more, trying to stop, failing "Dude, he's so hot. In a hot chicken kinda way, but hot. Obviously, I think so. I like... risked it all for him. We stayed friends though. Which is truly amazing."

SASHA

nods in agreement ''I only said kinda because I thought you would judge me but yes, he is 100% hot.'' laughs ''He just looks so different from everyone around and his face is so, so nice and okay I shouldn't be saying this but he was like actually good in bed in a lazy, high, kind of way. - I think that made him even hotter.''

MONA

"Why would I judge you? After that story I just told with him as the other person in the scenario? This is a judgment free zone." replies to marlon, continues talking "Oh god, we really shouldn't be discussing this.. but yeah. Those days where it just Marlon and I and a bunch of coke and molly? Some of my best days." groans, shakes head "Don't ever repeat this, obvi."

SASHA

''Of course I won't.'' laughs ''He 100% used me back then, we had sex like four times and he would never even call me or anything.'' shakes head and laughs ''I mean, it was enough for me because it meant he gave me a tiny bit of his attention and–''  M(arlon): literally walks in as if he's walking into his own apartment. ''Ramona, this better be good or else I swear I will shove my fist up yo–'' stops when he notices she has company. furrows brows  S(asha): looks kind of terrified but laughs ''Hi.''  M: raises eyebrows ''What are you doing here?'' looks at Mona ''What's going on?''

MONA

is kind of saddened by her story, doesn't have time to respond "Hey!" looks in between the two of them, a cruel smirk on her face "Marlon, this is my new friend Sasha."

SASHA

S: smiles mischievously and nods ''I'm sure you don't remember me.'' M: raises an eyebrow and shakes head, pretending to be oblivious even though he remembers every single lil detail about sasha ''I don't.'' shrugs, looking back at Mona ''Did you just bring me here to introduce me to a friend?''

MONA

scoffs, offended for her new friend sasha "Marlon, cut the shit. I can see it in your eyes, I know you know who she is, so how about not making her feel even worse than you did when you fucked her and ditched her all those years ago." rolls eyes, looks to sasha "Clearly, you missed out on nothing by him ghosting you."

SASHA

S: smirks, loving mona's attitude ''Yeah, trash.''    M: exhales deeply ''Did you expect me to propose?'' asks sasha, raising an eyebrow ''What are you two even doing together?''    S: ''Not really, a call would've been nice.'' shrugs M: ''It was ten years ago, Sasha. Move on, maybe?'' gives her a look ''Forreal, what's up?''

MONA

"Ah, so you do remember." shakes head "I gotta say, my sister really hit the jackpot with this one." is entertained by the whole situation "Nothing's up. We're friends now. Preston is buddies with her boyfriend, we met through them and realized that we kinda have a lot of common... Clearly more in common than we originally thought since we've now learned that we've both seen a scrawny chicken boy naked."

SASHA

S: laughs, shaking her head. ''I mean, I don't blame him. I've been told I tend to leave an impact on people.'' smirks, grabs her bowl of chips again.

M:  shakes head, staring at sasha and shaking his head when he sees the chips ''See, that's exactly why we never worked out. Why would I ever trust a stan of chips covered in ketchup?'' makes a face ''Disgusting.'' 

S: ''Hey!, don't be a hater.'' rolls eyes at him, hugging the bowl 

M: chuckles ''I guess rich, spoiled brats have a thing for scrawny chicken boys like me.'' smirks ''I can't blame y'all. I would too if I was dating the men you all seem to date.''

MONA

claps hands together, grins "This is amazing." turns to marlon "I was giving her a crash course, like on who I am as a person and why all the drama in my life isn't fun, so I mentioned that leak that happened a couple months back. And she was like no way, details please. And I showed her your pic and she was shook to learn that it was you. I am shook to learn that you two banged... Literally when she was so young, but we'll save that conversation." drapes an arm over marlon's shoulder " But yeah, I was telling her about we're bestest friends and you looove me." pulls him into a hug, dramatically kisses his cheek

SASHA

S: eats her chips, laughs at the summary ''Aww, I'm lowkey sad you guys didn't work out. It would've been so cute.'' half joking

M: nods and looks like the cloe meme as soon as mona is all over him but doesn't even move. looks down at his best friend ''Can you.. not?'' rolls eyes when she kisses his cheek but stays put ''I love her so much she's pulling this type of shit right now and I still haven't punched her in the face.

S: laughs and hums, putting her bowl down and walking over to him and grabbing his face before kissing his other cheek. laughs. 

M: shakes head and pushes the two of them away. ''Get off.''

MONA

"Nah, it was for the best. If the two of us actually became a thing, we probably both would have OD'd by now. Plus, there'd be no Venecia and that isn't even a world I'd like to live in." chuckles when sasha joins in, squeezes him even tighter, scoffs when he pushes them away "I mean, technically we have both gotten you off before... if that's what you meant by get off." winks, knows she's being horribly problematic

SASHA

S: rolls eyes and laughs, eating her chips again. ''I got you off several times. - Remember that one time   I got you off like twice in a three minutes period?'' smirks and looks at mona ''That was my personal best. I did good.'' chuckles

M: Knows hes going to hell and laughs at mona's problematic comment, shaking his head and narrowing his eyes at sasha. ''You want a medal?''

MONA

"Twice in 3 minutes? His little chicken dick was probably weeping with joy that it got THE Sasha," pauses, thinks "I don't know your last name, to BLESS it with her touch." shrugs "I don't know. I think she deserves a medal."

SASHA

S: laughs at mona's comment and nods ''He was so shocked, you could tell I was basically changing his life. - Sasha Cole, that's me.'' laughs ''It's such a pornstar name but I guess it goes well with my life-changing sex skills.'' smirks

M: ''You were also sixteen and I was a grown adult so we should probably never discuss that ever again.'' rolls eyes

S: shrugs ''That didn't stop you from fucking me, did it?''

M: ''It did.'' gives her a look. ''I'm guessing your men don't know y'all are speaking so fondly of my dick, do they?''

MONA

just observes the dynamic of the two of them, so intrigued "Huh. So your morals came into play, just way too late in the game?" shakes head "You guys were so messy. I love it." shrugs "Nobody's man gotta know about this conversation just like your woman doesn't need to know. Simple as that." ven starts crying on the baby monitor, nipples immediately begin to ache and leak "Don't go anywhere. I'll be right back!"

SASHA

S: hums, frowns ''Is that seriously why you never contacted me again?'' furrows brows ''Because of my age?''

M: ''Yes, Sasha. Are you gon' cry about it?'' rolls eyes at her. ''Why would I ever tell anyone about this meeting?'' is immediately interested by P's knives and grabs one, is weirdly fascinated by it.

S: furrows brows and can't believe she's somehow feeling somewhat attracted to marlon at that very moment ''Preston doesn't like people touching stuff, you know?'' brows still furrowed

M: looks at S, staring at her for a second. ''Are you telling him I went through his shit?''

MONA

literally takes her time getting ven, debates feeding her but knows she needs to go back to her guests, carries ven out in her arms "MARLON!! What are you doing? Put that down!" hurries over "Give me that. Now." looks around frantically "Sash, here." unceremoniously hands ven over to ketchup hands, ven is now crYING "I'm not even allowed to touch these, why would you be?" looks through drawers for a cloth to wipe marlon's prints off with, puts hand out for the knife

SASHA

S: jumps a little at mona's reaction and struggles to grab ven without making a ketchup mess all over her baby clothes. starts to kinda rock the baby to sooth her but is watching the whole thing go down with furrowed brows

M: looks mad confused ''What the fuck are you doing?'' gives her the knife ''What.. the fuck.... are you seriously wiping prints off the knife?'' ainsley's face hits his mind ''Stop doing that.'' shakes aisnley's face away and furrows brows 

S: ''Shh, it's okay baby.'' rocks ven

MONA

literally ignores him, wipes the knife off soo thoroughly, carefully inspects it for any leftover marks, hums in satisfaction, returns it to its rightful place "Sorry, he just notices things, okay? And literally like the one rule I have here is to never touch the knives." sighs, stressed suddenly, takes a bottle from the fridge for ven and warms it, holds it out to sasha "It's not you, she's hungry."

SASHA

M: He's deadass so weird.'' shakes head ''You really gon' make ketchup hands feed your child?'' shakes head and takes ven from Sasha with one hand and the bottle with the other, showing pro skills at the whole thing. starts feeding ven and the baby is suddenly quiet and happy to be eating.

S: everything happens so fast that she's just observing, chuckling at how smooth marlon was at taking the baby and feeding her ''That's kinda hot.'' is wide eyed when she realizes she said that out loud.

MONA

"Ketchup hands was the one without a knife. I had to make a decision." shrugs, watches, smiles as he feeds his niece Clearly, you've had lots of practice." raises brows at sasha's comment, knows they've def crossed a line at this point "Sasha!" shakes head, chuckles "Was this a bad idea inviting Marlon over?"

SASHA

M: shrugs, not seeing the big deal ''Being a dad teaches you a thing or two.''

S: giggles and her cheeks start heating up. changes the topic. ''I mean, yeah. Good dads, though.'' shrugs ''Ven's dad can't relate.''

M: raises an eyebrow ''You got something to say, Sasha?'' 

S: laughs ''Hm, yeah. Ven's dad is a flop.'' shrugs, goes back to her chips.

M: ''Your dad is a flop. I mean, his teenage daughter was out there finessing grown man into fucking her.'' furrows brows

S: furrows brows, offended

MONA

cringes, really don't wanna be a part of a convo about fab, lowkey relieved when marlon changes the topic a lil, walks over, lightly and playfully slaps him on the side of his face "What teenager doesn't finesse grown men into fucking them? Shut up." goes over to sasha, pulls her into a hug "Stop being mean to my friend."

SASHA

S: is mad and lowkey sad because she ain't used to people being mean to her ''You were the adult so technically you were the one responsible for it.'' crosses arms over her chest and leans into mona's touch 

M: ''Right, that's exactly why I ended it.'' is annoyed ''Seriously, this was years ago, why are you so pressed? Chill.'' 

S: stays quiet and shrugs

MONA

frowns really upset by the turn this is taking "You're literally just being mean, Marlon." notices sasha going quiet, hugs her tighter, really ain't trying to lose this friend already just bc marlon is mean "Anyways. This was fun and all, but you can go now, Mar."

SASHA

S: gives him a look. ''What do you even get out of being so mean?'' frowns 

M: rolls eyes so far back he caught a glimpse of his brain ''Man, are you still sixteen?'' shakes head and furrows brows before looking down at ven and kissing her cheek and then her forehead. ''Take her.'' carefully hands her to Mona 

S: shrugs slightly again, frowning and hugging mona back ''You're gross.'' @marlon

MONA

frowns, gladly accepts her child, literally just ready for this all to be over "I'll talk to you later, okay?" also @ marlon

SASHA

M: gives mona a look ''Apologize to Hazel, you were gross.'' turns and stares at S for a quick second and reaches for her face, pinches her cheek. ''Toughen up, you're grown now.'' narrows eyes at her. ''You're cute.'' smiles, walks away fully aware he just rocked her world again.

S: is sixteen again and looks up at him, feeling flustered when he calls her cute and furrowing her brows when he leaves

MONA

rolls eyes "Yeah, obviously I will." watches his interaction with sasha, confused and kind of disgusted, shakes head "Alright, enough of that." shuffles him to the door, her hand on his back basically pushing him out "Goodbye, Marlon... We're definitely talking soon."

SASHA

looks like she's about to cry, grabs her bowl but there's nothing there. pouts.

MONA

shuts the door, turns just in time to see sasha's face "Please don't cry!" hurries over and pulls her into another hug, ven squished in the middle "I am so sorry, that was an awful idea."

[distressedpanda]

Not A Fan! (Tom Hiddleston x OFC) Part 6

Warnings: Language, Slow burn, Younger woman/Older man, Smutty fluff, Extreme Angst

Triggers: Dark past, Hints of past abuse

A/N: I stayed up all night and all day to get this ready to be posted. It was a very difficult chapter to write. It is very Angsty (not a word and I don't care), but I had to have this chapter to move the story in the direction I needed. It is stupidly long!!!!!!! I couldn't find a good place to end it without interrupting the flow. So I am pre-apologizing for pretty much EVERYTHING! But I still hope this is a chapter you will enjoy reading! Hang with me, I promise it will be worth it!!!

P.S. Yes I am a fan of Tom Waits. No I did not steal the song from TWD. I did however decide to use that particular song because it had been adapted by a female vocalist already. Tom Hiddleston is a fan of Tom Waits, so I figured it was easier to imagine the vocals for it.

Tags: @intransittosomewhere

Gets a read more for length(obviously)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Part 6

Freshly changed into not so holey jeans and a baby blue v-neck t-shirt, my hair in a messy bun atop my head, I sat in my shop painting, casting, and finishing molds for the masks I still needed to finish. My phone whistled and I paused grabbing it and grinning at the screen.

This is so boring!!!! I could think of a million things I would rather be doing right now. Chris isn't even talking about the event!

The text from, Thomas, was one of many he had sent since he left me breathless in my apartment. Seemingly needing to stay in contact with me even though we were going to meet again tonight.

I took a selfie, smiling widely, my finished masks in the frame behind my head.

Making great progress here. Nothing boring about this!

I put my phone down, grinning at myself for the double meaning of my message. I could do this. Flirting with someone over a phone was easy. I didn't have to see their reactions, they couldn't see mine. I didn't have to hide, didn't have to think, I could do messaging relationships. Never been good at the face to face aspect needed to hold a healthy, stable relationship. The only time I was able to handle direct interaction, was if I was drinking-obviously, though never to the degree of this morning.

Immediately, my phone whistled back.

Gorgeous, and you are most definitely not boring.

I grinned again, happy he understood the double meaning and ran with it. But before I could come up with a comeback, my phone vibrated again.

Can I tell you something strange?

Sure, I giggled to myself, waiting for his response.

It doesn't come immediately, and as I started painting again, I began to worry he wasn't going to answer. Maybe he brought up something he thought he shouldn't have. Maybe I didn't answer correctly, perhaps I was to flippant, to ignorant of his feelings.

Just before I started to dismember myself-emotionally-my phone whistled again and I released a breath I didn't realize I had been holding.

I miss you

A small smile danced across my lips, and I could understand his hesitation in answering me quickly.

Honesty. . .

Please, he sent back instantly.

I miss you too

Mmmm

I chuckled at the simple response and continued painting.

When I started dozing off and getting dangerously close to screwing up the piece I was working on, I searched my phone for the time. I had been on it several times, harmlessly flirting with Thomas, but I hadn't looked at the time not once.

6:32

Jesus, I had been working for ten hours straight. The sudden pang of hunger confirmed that I had gotten lost in my work and the scintillating conversation. I cleaned up and returned my apron to its hook, dawning on my coat and locking up the shop. Checking my phone on the way up to my apartment, there were no new messages from Thomas and we hadn't spoken about whether we were doing dinner again or not. But when my stomach audibly growled, I decided I couldn't wait that long even if we were eating later.

I opened up my apartment, escaping the cold and hanging my coat. I made my way over to the fridge and rummaged around, finding the ingredients for a simple salad, I quickly prepared the meal. And sat at the bar to eat.

Deciding to determine whether I needed to be cooking or not, I sent him a quick message.

Think you are gonna be later than dinner?

I chewed on a mouthful of lettuce as I waited for a response, humming to myself absentmindedly, when my phone whistled.

It's going to be late, just got Chris on topic about an hour ago. Probably won't make it for dinner so don't worry about me, I will grab something before I come tonight.

I snorted at the innuendo, my mind quickly falling into the gutter. Well that had answered my question though I was slightly disappointed.

Have fun, I sent back.

I finished my meal quickly, leaving my phone on the bar and placing my dishes in the dishwasher. I changed into a long light gray sleep shirt that ended at mid-thigh and some skimpy sleep shorts that were patterned with different shades of pink elephants on a swirling green background. I could barely tell I had shorts on under the top, but at this point I didn't care. I could always change before Thomas arrived. My mind wandered as I pulled my hair free from its messy bun and braided it loosely over my left shoulder. What was I gonna do to occupy myself for however long it took for Thomas to arrive?

“I could do some research,” I thought aloud, and went to retrieve my laptop from the top of my dresser. Making my way over to the couch I sat down and snuggled into the plush cushions. I opened the laptop and pulled up my search engine typing in: Thomas Hiddleston, and hit enter.

I clicked on the first link that wasn't Wikipedia, and suddenly felt guilty as an IMDB profile loaded. Was I going to far by researching this man? Was this an invasion of privacy? He seemed very intent on keeping his dating world out of the limelight or so he had said. If he was in fact a private person there could be things on here he would rather tell me himself.

Deciding against this side of the research, I quickly closed the window and opened a new one. This time I typed in: Loki Thomas Hiddleston. The top of the page read, Showing results for Loki Tom Hiddleston, and I giggled at myself. I had honestly forgotten that he had introduced himself as Tom and not Thomas. Probably another aspect of that privacy he values, I thought. I skimmed the articles opening only those pertaining to the character and the mask I would need to fashion for him.

I did stumble across the fact that his main residence was in Belize Park, in London, England. I guess that explains why he was flying in.

My eyes grew heavy again, and I fought to read the articles about this man I didn't know and come up with ideas that suited the character.

A soft pressure and tickle on my nose had me crinkling it and balling on my side into the couch cushions. Suddenly, my eyes snapped open as my sleep addled brain registered the depression of the cushion next to me. I whipped my head around and was enveloped by an all to familiar and breathtaking mega watt smile.

“Hello, sleepy head,” Thomas whispered, as he lent over me. He had one arm on the back of the couch and the other on the arm, holding himself mere inches from my body and face.

I took a shallow and shaky breath, “Umm, hi,” I cleared my throat and wriggled myself deeper into the cushions again, trying to regain the ability to breath properly. “How did you get in?” I asked breathlessly.

He chuckled and shook his head, “Your door was unlocked, which I truly hope isn't a habit of yours. I tried texting, I even called when I got here and you wouldn't answer the door. I simply decided to try my luck. . .” something seemed to register behind his eyes, and quickly he sat back on his knees. Running the hand that had been on the arm through his hair to rub at the back of his neck, he seemed embarrassed, pink tinging his cheeks and the tops of his ears. “I hope. . .” he cleared his throat and looked away at the floor, “I hope I didn't over step my boundaries.”

I sat up against the arm of the couch, pulling my legs underneath me. I shook my head at him slowly, “No, i-it's alright. It just startled me is all.”

“It was never my intention to frighten you, or cause you discomfort. I just had to see you,” he said sounding ashamed and he still wouldn't look at me.

I reached out, gingerly placing my hand on his cheek and turned his head toward me. I ducked my head forcing him to look me in the eye, “Honestly, I am fine. It's not the worst way I have been woken up, by far,” I admitted, and tried desperately to squash the memories as my eyes involuntarily tried to water.

He watched my face as I spoke, and seemed to breath slightly easier as he covered my hand with his own, “God, I missed you,” he breathed, and I shivered.

“I missed you too,” I admitted, and he lent forward and pressed his lips to mine. Gently, there was no rush in the kiss, no scramble for captured moments. It was chaste and sweet and ended quickly, leaving us both panting. For though it had not been hot, it was still laced with every bit of passion that had been formed between us.

I bit my bottom lip and looked away, withdrawing my hand from his cheek and hold. I turned allowing my legs to drape over the couch and noticed my laptop on the floor, screen gone black. I picked it up and closing it, sat it on the coffee table. I stood up and walked around the couch, I could feel his eyes on me as he watched me silently. When I reached the bar I noticed a black bag sitting there, and looked from it to him. He was now facing me still seated on the couch and his eyes showed a heat that made my own rise from my core.

I shook myself and gestured to the bag with an open hand, “So what do you have planned for tonight?”

He stood, stroking a thoughtful hand through his beard, “I thought we could talk.” He moved to stand across from me at the bar, placing his hands on the top and leaning into them. I noticed his blazer missing and looked over my shoulder to see it hanging next to my pea-coat, oddly the picture looked and felt right to me. My eyes were drawn back to him as he continued to speak, “I figured we haven't done enough of that yet,” he chuckled, “And of course, any serious conversation is always aided by the proper libations.”

That explained the bag, and I couldn't hide the blush that crept into my cheeks. I cursed myself for having tied my hair back, when I knew he would be around. Suddenly, a thought occurred to me, and I voiced it even as I turned to have it answered, “What time is it anyway?”

The clock on the microwave read, 11:53. He wasn't kidding about it being late, “I know I said I would be late. I didn't really plan to be quite this late though. If I need to, I could leave and we could reschedule. . .” he trailed off, looking down and licking his bottom lip and capturing his tongue between his teeth. He shook his head before adding, “I have gone mad,” under his breath.

I giggled and shook my head at him as his eyes returned to mine, the fire in them had died back but I could still see the flickering in his ocean blues, “If you are mad then so am I, because I don't want you to leave,” He smiled, and I felt my heart skip a few beats before it returned to a regular rhythm only accelerated. “Besides, I unexpectedly got a good nap in. I would probably be up all night anyway. You could consider it a civil service. You are providing me company, for what would otherwise be a very long and boring night.”

His smile turned into a devilish grin, “I could certainly meet that request.” His eyes blazed and darkened, and I fought to control my breathing and my heart, my legs trembling. He reached over to the insulated bag without taking his eyes off mine. I flicked my eyes to his hands as they withdrew a bottle of Merlot and a bottle of Jameson, both unopened and chilled. I chuckled at the sight, and turned to the cabinets behind me, reaching up to the top shelf, I grabbed a wine glass and a tumbler. I heard him moan low in his throat and blushed severely, as I settled back onto my heels. I had completely forgotten about my clothing or lack there of, and whipped around to face him, hoping I hadn't caused a repeat of this morning. He had remained at his place at the bar but had lent forward on his elbows, knuckle tucked neatly under his chin, and his eyes scanned my body, making my body shiver and sending sparks to the fire steadily growing in my core.

“Loving the wardrobe choice,” he drawled thickly.

I ducked my head and brought over the glasses, “Well, if you expect me to stay in this and be able to actually speak to you,” I set the glasses down in front of him and daringly looked up at him through my lashes, “I am definitely going to need some of that libation you were offering.”

He chuckled, pouring a generous amount of wine in my glass before pouring two fingers in his tumbler. He picked up the wine glass and swirled its contents lightly around the inside before offering it to me, “You plan on getting drunk again?” He playfully asked, as I took the offered glass from him.

I took a sip of the dark liquid, relishing the rich biting taste as it ran across my tongue, he watched me curiously waiting for me to answer, “Only if I need to be,” I answered honestly. There was a whole lot about me that did bring up bad memories, and I was definitely going to need the liquid courage to get through it. Of course I had no idea what he would even want to know so . . .

“I guess that depends on what you would like to know,” I clarified, when my answer was accompanied by stunned silence and his furrowed brow. I slowly made my way around the bar, returning to the couch. I sat down curling my legs in underneath me, and patted the cushion next to me, “We will probably be more comfortable over here.”

He smiled, and licked his bottom lip as he sauntered over to sit next to me, glass in hand. Laying a leg over the couch, he leaned with one arm across the back so that he was facing me. He cleared his throat, lifting the glass at me, “So tell me about yourself,” he said, as he took a small sip of the amber liquid.

I looked down, and began fidgeting with the bottom of my glass, “What do you want to know?”

“Everything,” he admitted, sounding completely sincere, as he grinned and sipped from the glass steadily, “But how about we start with something easy. Where were you born, where did you grow up if they were different?”

“That is easy, I was born and raised in Columbus, Georgia.” This might not be so bad if we stuck to generalized questions like this.

It continued on like this for about an hour. He told me about his childhood, his sisters, his mother and father. He told me about his education, how he had gotten started in the acting business. He even admitted to still maintaining a permanent residence in London. My answers came slower, I talked about my mother, her teaching career. She was a Theatre professor, and that is how I had gotten interested in mask making and special effects. My rudimentary education, which led up to college in New York and the discovery of my shop and subsequent purchase. He danced around questions of my brother and I answered as best as I could without getting dragged under-refilling my glass about halfway through.

“He was six years older than me. He read me comic books because he wanted to help mom as much as he could with my care. He played dolls with me, and I played cars with him. He was my protector and confidant, and I know my world became a lot darker without him in it.” I had started opening up without being completely conscious of it, and the words were just pouring out of me now, “He joined the Marines when he graduated from High School. He always made it a point to keep in touch with me, tried to make sure I didn't feel like he had abandoned me. I told him over and over that I understood, and I did. I knew that serving his country had always been very important to him. And he was a good soldier, that was his calling. He was in on leave, when he went for a drive with my dad and. . .” my breath hitched in my throat, my bottom lip trembling, and I could feel the silent tears streaming down my cheeks. I wasn't entirely sure when they had started.

Thomas had been listening in rapt silence, but when I had mentioned him-my dad-his eyes went wide. I could see him putting pieces together in his head, and as he reached for my cheek, I quickly turned my head away. I didn't want to cry anymore, not because of him. I quickly brushed the tears from my cheeks and downed the rest of my second glass before placing it on the coffee table.

“I loved him, dearly,” I added under my breath, and he reached for me again placing his hand gently on my shoulder, setting his own glass on the table next to mine. He made no move to draw me in, and he didn't say anything. His touch seemed to center me and I cleared my throat, “The rest is probably a story for another time.”

I gave him a small sad smile, and he returned a comforting smile, “I can tell he was dear to you. As far as the rest, I am willing to hear only what you are able to tell me. I will not pressure you, ever.”

My smile was still small but turned into something more akin to solace, “Thank you,” I whispered, my voice breaking. I cleared my throat, and added softly, “Can we change the subject, please?”

“Of course,” he moved his hand from my shoulder to brush across my hair. He withdrew his hand placing it lazily across his lap, and shook his head, “I have an odd, off the wall, almost comical question, if you would allow it?” I grinned slightly and nodded my head snuggling back into the cushions. I lent my head against the back of the couch and watched him nervously rub his hand through his hair, “Alright, I have to ask,” he brought his hand in a sweeping motion from the back of his head and extend his pointer finger toward the television, “Why do you have a television, if you don't watch movies?” His brow furrowing in inquisition.

I laughed, in genuine belly rolling amusement. I was laughing so hard, tears ran down my cheeks again. His eyebrows practically met in the middle as he watched me. His own lips curving into a smile of there own. I wiped my eyes, reigning in the fit, “Wow, I needed that,” I looked up into those deep ocean blues, feeling my mood lift even more, “It's for music. I sing.”

His brows reached his hairline then and his mega watt smile shinned brightly at me, “Really?”

I nodded, giggling, “Yes, really. I don't know if I am any good or anything. My mom and brother always said I had an ear for it, so I started one day and just never stopped.”

Licking his lips he breathed in on a hiss, “I would love to hear you one day,” he admitted, his eyes darkening. Heat bloomed from my core and I prayed it didn't show on my face.

“Mmmm,” I tapped a finger against my chin coming to a decision, “What is your favorite song?”

He snorted, “There are far too many. I love music,” he admitted.

I nodded and stood, walking over to the TV. I bent over and pulled a fabric binder from beneath the DVD player. I came back over and dropped it unceremoniously in his lap. He let out a loud huff, “Pick something,” I crossed my arms across my chest and grinned, standing in front of him and cocking my hip to the side.

He opened the binder, and started flipping through the pages his eyes scanning the discs, “You can sing all of these?”

I scoffed at him, “All I have to do is change the octave. Technically, I can sing any song you want, as long as I know the words.”

He chuckled, “I suppose that is true. Not that I doubt you,” he continued flipping through the pages, and then smiled up at me, “You just seem to have quite an eclectic taste, much like myself.”

I rolled my eyes and giggled, “Just pick something.”

He flipped a few more pages over before he turned a devilish grin to me. He pulled a CD from the sleeve and handed it to me, “This one, number four,” he dared me with his eyes.

I took the disk and scanned to number four and grinned widely turning to put it in the player, “You could have chosen something more difficult. I know this one by heart.”

I heard him chuckle behind me as I placed the disc in the player and turned on the TV. I switched to the song he had chosen and smiled sweetly, as the somber guitar intro played. I turned to him and closed my eyes, letting the music flow through me and out of my lips.

They hung a sign up in our town "If you live it up, you won't live it down" So she left Monte Rio, son Just like a bullet leaves a gun With her charcoal eyes and Monroe hips She went and took that California trip Oh, the moon was gold, her hair like wind Said, "don't look back, just come on, Jim"

Oh, you got to hold on, hold on You gotta hold on Take my hand, I'm standing right here, you gotta hold on

I opened my eyes to look at Thomas, he was leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and hands clasped together. His lips were slightly parted, and eyes were fixed on my face. I smiled and continued.

Well, he gave her a dime store watch And a ring made from a spoon Everyone's looking for someone to blame When you share my bed, you share my name Well, go ahead and call the cops You don't meet nice girls in coffee shops She said, "baby, I still love you" Sometimes there's nothin' left to do

Oh, but you got to hold on, hold on Babe, you gotta hold on and take my hand I'm standing right here, you gotta hold on

I closed my eyes again and began to sway, as the lyrics would call for, slowly side to side letting my hands swing gracefully back and forth.

Down by the Riverside motel It's ten below and falling By a ninety-nine cent store She closed her eyes and started swaying But it's so hard to dance that way When it's cold and there's no music Oh, your old hometown's so far away But inside your head there's a record that's playing

I opened my eyes again, and he stood up moving to stand in front of me, as I continued with part of the chorus.

A song called "Hold On", hold on Babe, you gotta hold on Take my hand, I'm standing right there, you gotta hold on

He reached out wrapping an arm around my waist and halting my movements. He placed his other hand against my cheek, and I faltered. My knees knocking together, as I trembled in his grasp. His eyes blazed blue, “That was. . .” he started but then seemed at a lose for words.

I giggled, placing my hands on his chest and listening to the song end. I turned my face into his palm to place a kiss there, “What was it, Thomas?”

He shook his head and closed his eyes, “I didn't know, Tom Waits, could be sung like that,” he answered, then slowly opened his eyes. His eyes were almost black, his pupils blown, “You have the voice of an angel.”

I blushed and shoved lightly against his chest, “It wasn't all that, you just picked one of my favorites.”

He tightened his arm around my waist, pulling me more firmly against his body and ran his thumb slowly across my cheek bone, “Trust me,” his voice became low and sent shivers through my body, pouring gasoline on the fire at my core, “It was all that and more.”

My skin was on fire, especially where he was touching me. I couldn't speak. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think and when he lent down to press his lips against mine, I let myself get lost. Slipping my hands up his chest to thread my fingers through his hair, I pushed up onto my toes deepening the kiss. His tongue found mine and I moaned, pulling lightly on his hair, causing his own moan to vibrate into my mouth and rumble down my body. He tasted like whiskey, and smelled like an intoxicating mixture of alcohol and cologne and man. A scent that couldn't be identified as anything other than him.

He pulled away, my hands loosening from his hair and sliding down to his shoulders. He was panting heavily, my own breathe stuttering from my lungs. He looked over my face, running his hand over my hair and settling his hand at the nape of my neck. He cleared his throat, and seemed to regain a little control over himself, his eyes returning to there calm ocean blue, “Well, I suppose that should be all the proof you need.” I quirked my eyebrow at him, opening my mouth to ask for clarification, but he cut me off before I could voice my question, “It was definitely all that.”

I giggled and tucked my chin down, my forehead resting against his chest, “Rose colored glasses,” I breathed.

He chuckled, “Perhaps.”

I lent back in his grasp, reaching to turn off the TV and DVD player. He lent with me, refusing to release his hold on me. I looked back up at his wonderfully angular face, “So what do you want to know next?”

He shook his head, grinning widely and capturing his tongue between his teeth, “I already told you. I want to know everything.”

I turned my face away from him. Lost in thought, I pushed away from him causing his arms to slip from me. He reached to catch my hands in his, before I could turn away. I looked up at him, my face dropping as I got lost in how much I wanted to tell him. I wanted to tell him everything but I couldn't help but fear how much of my story I could reveal before he ran from me.

“I want to tell you, Thomas. Please, believe that I do,” I shook my head and pulled against his grasp, not trying to free myself, but I wasn't sure what I was trying to accomplish instead. “I'm just. . . I just. . .” I couldn't find the right words, my brain firing off too many explanations at once, but none of them seemed adequate.

He pulled me with him, backing toward the couch again. He sat down and pulled me to sit at his side, still holding my hands, he cleared his throat drawing my eyes to his, “You are frightened, I can see it in your eyes,” I nodded, even though he needed no conformation, “ I won't pressure you, Alyse. So let us go back to the simple questions again, like. . .” he drew the word out on a thought and scrunched up his nose, running his thumbs across the backs of my hands, causing my mind to ease at the adorable expression. “Oh, what's your favorite color?”

I smiled, “That I can answer. My favorite color is blue, but like cobalt blue. It's so peaceful and calming,” I blushed, and tucked my chin to my chest, “At least it is for me,” I mumbled.

He finally released my hands and placed the side of his finger under my chin, lifting my face to look at him again, “I couldn't agree more,” he smiled widely, adding, “Mine are red and blue as well.”

We stuck to favorites for a while, and I relaxed into the numbing effects of the wine. He brought up his home again, mentioning its beauty and how much he enjoyed living there. This caused a sobering thought.

“When do you go back?” I blurted before I could stop myself.

This seemed to bring him up short, and leave him at a lose for words. He rubbed nervously at his beard, “I was supposed to leave today, actually.” He didn't look up at me, and I could tell he had trouble admitting that he had planned on leaving today. “I rescheduled my flight, so I could meet with Chris.”

“Which you had to reschedule because of me?” He nodded, but still wouldn't look up at me. He lent his elbows onto his knees, clasping his hands in front of him, he was turned away from me. His form becoming rigid, and causing my mind and heart to race.

“When?” I breathed, leaning closer to him and laying my hands helplessly in my lap.

He shook his head and chuckled dryly, and I saw him capture his tongue between his teeth before he turned his head to me, “Honesty?”

I lent in, placing my forehead against his shoulder. I was suddenly fiercely afraid of his answer, but I knew I needed to hear it, “Please,” I breathed against his arm and I could feel him tremble.

He cleared his throat and laid a hand gently on my knee, “I don't want to leave,” he admitted.

I snapped my head up, my breath catching in my throat, “But you have work, don't you?” He nodded his head, closing his eyes briefly. He looked back at me with trapped eyes and seemed to be struggling for a response. When he parted his lips, I quickly placed my finger over his lips, the tickle from his beard on my skin causing a delicious shiver, “I will not be the reason you postpone work. I understand how important doing something you are passionate about, truly is. You can't give up any part of your life for me. I won't let you.”

He looked stunned, and I slowly withdrew my finger from his lips. He took a steadying breath that mirrored my own, “You really are different from anyone I have ever met.” He sounded wonder struck.

I blushed, but tried to keep my eyes on him, “I told you that already.”

He chuckled, and shaking his head he placed his hand on my cheek. I nuzzled into his touch and closed my eyes, “You did,” he rubbed his thumb across my cheek bone and I released a small sigh between parted lips. “I really don't want to leave now.”

I looked up at him and saw him leaning in, lust darkening his eyes. I threw my hands up, one landing on his chest, the other on his shoulder, “You are trying to distract me, and it won't work. When is your flight rescheduled for?”

He heaved a long sigh, and glanced behind him to the clock on my microwave. He looked back, and laced his fingers into my braid, pulling me closer. He brushed my lips, and I almost pulled back again until he answered, “I have time.” He captured my lips, and I melted into him, his tongue pushing past my lips to find my own. Conscious thought left me completely and as he slipped his other arm around my waist pulling me closer, my arms slid up to wrap around the back of his neck. He pulled me and I squeaked into his mouth when I ended up sitting across his lap.

He chuckled darkly, at the noise. I lent away trying to catch my breath, his hands falling to land one on my hip and the other at the small of my back, “We really do lose control behind closed doors,” I whispered.

He nodded and chuckled again, “We do,” he stated simply.

I cleared my throat and moved to straddle him, my hands resting on his shoulders, sitting draped across his lap becoming uncomfortable. He repositioned the hand that was on my back to land on my other hip, “You never answered my question,” I chastised.

He shook his head at me, “I do not want to answer it.”

“Isn't that lying?” I asked, quirking an accusatory eyebrow at him.

“No,” he stated, sounding incredulous, “It is an omittance,” he grinned devilishly at me and I rolled my eyes. “Besides, if I tell you the truth you may make me leave,” he added, pouting his bottom lip and giving me the sweetest set of puppy dog eyes I had ever encountered.

I lent forward and daringly nibbled on that bottom lip, sucking it between my lips. He groaned, his fingers digging into my hips, when I released it, “That soon, huh?”

He shook his head and swallowed thickly, his eyes gluing themselves to my lips, “No, but I won't get much sleep, if any, before it.”

I cocked my head to the side, “Why would I make you leave because of that? I have a perfectly good bed over there,” I waved my hand across the room behind him.

His cheeks lit up with a pink glow, “I am not sure that is a good idea.”

Emboldened-and I knew this time it was the alcohol-I ghosted my lips across his, “Why?” He groaned and dug his fingers into my hips even harder, to the point of pain. I moaned lowly savoring the heat that flooded through me, at the sensation.

He breathed, heavily against my lips, “I know I wouldn't be able to keep my hands off you. I can't do that here. In a bed. . .” He left the answer open ended, but I knew where he was heading.

I lifted my lips away from his, giving him a break, “I wouldn't mind you hands on me.”

He closed his eyes, leaning his head against the back of the couch and a guttural moan escaped his throat, “You are going to be the death of me.”

Sitting up and nuzzling my face into his neck, I placed small kisses up to his ear. Whispering straight into it, “Is that a bad thing, Thomas?”

“Alyse,” he moaned my name, and I took it as a challenge. I nibbled at his ear lobe, a soft grunt escaped his lips and he pushed me back by my hips, “I do not want to do that to you. I refuse to objectify you, or treat you as though I do not care.”

My eyes snapped to his, and I could tell this was hard for him. But the growing fire in my belly couldn't be extinguished, not even by those oceans.

“We don't have to go that far,” my voice was low and sultry and I didn't dare change it, as I watched his slowly turn into blue rimmed coals. I traced my hands down to his chest and rubbed back up to his shoulders again, his skin trembling beneath my hands, “I don't think I want that either,” I admitted. “But I want you. In a way I have never wanted anyone before,” I was trying to explain myself and felt like I was failing.

He chuckled and shook his head, “Are you asking me to make-out with you?” I nodded, biting my bottom lip, “In your bed?” I looked down and nodded again. “And you aren't expecting more?” I shook my head vigorously, causing myself to become slightly dizzy. He slid his hands up my back, and I let myself be pulled against his chest. He slid a hand into my already messy braid, and tugged lightly so I was looking at him again, “If it becomes to much for either us we stop, yes?”

His grip on my hair prevented me from nodding in reply, so I released a breathless, “Yes.”

He growled and rolled his hips, I gasped feeling his growing erection rub against my inner thigh. “Harmless touching, nothing more, yes?” He ground out between clinched teeth. I couldn't stop the whine that escaped my parted lips, and he yanked slightly on my hair, causing just enough pain to make me gasp and tremble in pleasure. I could feel my panties becoming wet, as my juices started to flow. “Yes?” he reasserted.

“Yes,” I cried, giving over completely to his domination.

He lent forward, cocking my head to the side by my hair. He ran his warm, wet tongue from my collarbone up to my ear lobe, and I couldn't breathe, “Good girl,” he purred, I gasped trying to find air, my panties becoming soaked.

Swiftly he stood, latching his hands around my thighs. I yelped and threw my arms around his neck and hooked my heels behind his back. He chuckled as he walked around the couch toward my bed, kicking his shoes off as he went. My heart kicked into over drive. All kinds of questions racing through my mind. Was I really going to do this? Was I going to have a make-out, possible heavy petting session like some horny teenager? Were we moving to fast?

A resounding Yes filtered through my head, and as he lowered me gently onto the bed and hovered carefully over my body resting on his elbows, and nestling firmly between my trembling legs. I found I didn't care. Not about the questions, not about how fast we were moving. Everything felt right, and as he leaned in to capture my lips with a fire of his own, I felt safe and wanted. I let go of everything holding me back, all the niggling memories from past relationships. Where they learned my story and ran. Where they learned that I was broken and left. Where they found I could get lost in my past and called me crazy. Where they found I could cry at the drop of a pin and offered no comfort.

One of his hands moved from the bed to trail down my side, over my hip and came to rest just beneath my ass cheek. My heart fluttered and I moaned into his mouth when he squeezed, kneading my flesh with his fingers. I moved my hands to the sides of his face, pulling him harder into my mouth as our tongues fought for dominance. He growled and rolled us so we were laying on our sides, never breaking the kiss, he let that hand trail up my side again and brushed the side of my breast with his thumb causing me to mewl into his open mouth and arch into his hard body.

He chuckled darkly, breaking away from my lips to trail kisses down my neck, nipping at the sensitive flesh above my collarbone. I gasped and moaned, rolling my hips into his, desperately seeking release from the heat growing between my legs. He let his hands flow all across my body, rubbing up and down my back and across my stomach while continuing his assault on my neck with his mouth. Seeming to need to be in contact with all of me, and yet hesitating to touch anywhere that could be covered by a swim suit. I pleaded with him, “More,” But I wasn't sure what I wanted more of, and he growled nipping at my neck.

I moaned and keened under his touch, completely forgetting what to do with my own hands. I caught up when his mouth found mine again, his fingers dancing playfully across my collarbone and teasingly grazing the tops of my breasts. I tangled one hand in his soft curls, pressing him more firmly against my mouth, while the other brushed across his toned back and down his side. I curled my fingers into the hard flesh just above his waist band, earning an appreciative moan that I returned with a mewl. I let my finger nails drag up his stomach to his chest, unknowingly pulling the fabric of his t-shirt with me.

When my hand reached his collarbone, he rolled me onto my back again. He broke away suddenly and I could see what I had done to his shirt. He quickly stripped it off over his head, tossing it carelessly away, and latched back on to my neck. I grasped, and moaned running my fingernails down his bare back. He growled into my throat and began pawing at my shirt.

Fair is fair, right.

If I kept my back against the bed, I could remain comfortable shirtless. So I lifted my ass off the bed to aid him and ended up grinding my warm wet lips against his erection. He groaned loudly throwing his head back. I finished removing my shirt and tossed it to the floor. When his eyes came back to me, he sucked a sharp, hissing breath in through his teeth, “You are killing me,” he breathed, and didn't sound upset about it at all.

I giggled at him and laid my arms above my head, causing my breasts to swell and spill slightly over the top of my bra. I was still wearing the set he had bought for me, “You bought it,” I teased, my voice low and seductive, “It's your own fault.”

He groaned as if in pain, his eyes trailing from my face, down over the swell of my ample chest, across my bare stomach and back up again, “How?” He begged.

I frowned, bringing my arms down and suddenly feeling very self conscious, “How what?” My voice trembling, despite my best efforts.

“How am I supposed to resist you?”

I smiled, bringing my hands up to the sides of his face. He closed his eyes at my touch, and buried his face into my hands, his beard tickling my palms, “Don't,” I whispered and pulled him down to my lips, pushing my tongue into his mouth and swirling it around his, as he moaned.

All to soon, my eyes started growing heavy. The fire between my legs becoming smothered, under the haze of sleep. My movements becoming sluggish and lazy, I sighed happily. His hands roaming up my sides, mine clawing at his back. Fighting the tendrils of sleep threatening to close my eyes for sleep, instead of pleasure. He grouped gently at the under sides of my breasts and I arched my back into his ministrations, his lips never far from mine. His movements started slowing as well, his kisses turning short, losing some of the heat and becoming sweet.

He sighed, pulling away to lean his forehead against mine, “You are tired,” it wasn't a question and I whined at the statement.

I fought to answer, but found my tongue thick and my mind bleary with the edges of sleep, “I don't want you to leave,” I mumbled

He chuckled lightly, running his hands up and down my sides. His thumbs drawing circles, that had m body trembling, and arching into him again. “I can stay. But you need sleep,” he groaned in response, “I need sleep.” I whined again, but was physically unable to resist, when he lifted me up from the bed to nestle my head gently against the pillows. He pulled the covers over us, and my mind surfaced long enough to make sure my back wasn't visible to him. I curled into his chest, and he wrapped his arms around my waist pulling me close and nuzzling his face into the top of my hair, inhaling deeply he sighed, “Sleep, little one.”

I closed my eyes and was almost out when I asked, “What time do you have to be at the airport?"

He grumbled, “Noon,” and the vibrations from his chest against my cheek, pulled me even closer to that edge.

I fought it needing to tell him, “Wake me before you leave,” not knowing if he understood the request, as sleep captured me and pulled me into its comforting embrace.

[dearinheadlights-archived]

26 March 2021

[001] and i called things off, for the third or so time. i’ve lost count by now, honestly—i wasn’t keeping track. it didn’t matter, in a way? yes, it wasn’t ideal to have an on-and-off limbo relationship, but i understood. i love him, and just wanted him to be happy. for us to be happy. and to help him get better where he had been so scarred.

i have scars, too. [002] was horrible. and a liar. and everyone warned me, but i was young and naïve and allowed myself to get hurt because he was the first true love i’d ever had and i was trying so hard to make things work, even though i wasn’t the problem. i suppose, now, not much has changed. except now, i’m in university, rather than high school.

[003] was better, but ended so poorly. i hate that i’m partly to blame for that, and that there’s nothing i can do to make up for it anymore. i tried, but the damage had been done. i had been acting on outside pain that [002] and [004] inflicted, and i shouldn’t have let it interfere with my remaining friendship with [003].

i think [004] was the worst of everything. we had been best friends since ninth grade, until sophomore year of college—that’s six years, for some quick math. i can’t believe she kept such a big secret from me for three years. and, when i found out about what she and [002] did together, it took so much from me. i lost all my hometown friends, because none of them supported me. that was so painful. i lost my best friend. my grades dropped. my mental health suffered horribly. i get so bitterly jealous now, because of her. my therapist says it’s a protective measure—like, if i saw someone i was in a relationship with being close with someone else and i DIDN’T get jealous, then my brain wouldn’t have learned anything from being cheated on, if that makes sense? it does to me, but it still feels like crap, especially whenever it happened with [001] because we hardly officially dated. so i was just stuck pining for the affection and attention of someone who told me they loved me, but wasn’t actually mine.

and that’s the thing—it’s so hard to pinpoint how [001] is feeling. sometimes, there‘s verbal confirmation that he loves me and an assortment of other verbal and physical cues (see things that mean “i love you” on @buttercupbeth ). but sometimes he just didn’t feel... anything towards me. which i can handle hearing. i know he’s going through emotional repairs. but what’s the hardest is going through months of love and affection then being told “i just see you as a friend” because he “has to”? like, he’s suppressing his feelings about me so that we both can move on. and i KNOW he must be suppressing some genuine romantic affection because i can’t even sit next to [005] without [001] getting jealous.

[005] is cool, i guess. we’ve always had good, easy conversations together, about star wars or music or television or whatever. i liked when we watched bridgerton together. i haven’t had close friends since the shit that happened with my hometown friends, and i like that people like me. there was one point, though, where [005] lay his head on me while we watched movies together as a group when [001] and i were “broken up.” it was odd, because i didn’t necessarily mind—the group dynamic sort of does this a lot with little moments of affection—but it lasted longer than just a little moment. i still didn’t mind, but i didn’t reciprocate either. i love [001], and i still did at the time, even when apart. there was another time, during a camping trip with the group, where [005] invited me to lay where he was to be more comfortable and to “platonically cuddle”. i declined his offer, again, because i loved [001]. we were “together”, i think, at this time, but it’s not like anyone could tell—even us, probably. the whole time, i was jealous of how [007] interacted with two other girls—one of which certainly has a crush on him. but it’s not like i could do anything, because we weren’t dating. what could i say? “oh, he’s my.. not boyfriend but sorta, it’s complicated, affection person?” embarrassing.

[001] seems to think i’ll be hurt if i engage in anything with [005]. like i’ll fall into [005]’s “trap.” i don’t know what’s true, or what i’ll do, honestly. i doubt i’ll engage in anything with [005] though. i’m just hurting. i wish [001] loved me. i think he does, but he’s suppressing it because he feels he has to. at least we’re working on communication: it’s better than nothing at all. he never answered whether he’d tell me if he ever reaches the point where he’s ready and wants to date me. i wish he would’ve. i wouldn’t hold onto his answer for a fragment of hope, or whatever. i just want to know. more of a trust thing, i guess. a last promise, after all the heartbreak he put me through.

i think the worst thing, maybe, is when random, sappy little memories pop into my head. like when [001] said that sometimes he is sure he’ll marry me—and sometimes he feels nothing at all. but still, the first part was still a nice thing to hear. or when i’m reminded of the pet name we used to call each other. or when his poetry pops up on my feed, and i spend minutes trying to interpret what it means because i’d give anything to truly understand his art. but i usually never do. my poetry is more straightforward. his is more verbose and advanced. ugh, or how he said that he just wants to be small. i miss that. i wanted to take care of him so badly. the world has too harsh to him. i remember playing with his hair as he slept, or tracing patterns on his back, or holding him tight because i was so afraid that something would hurt him and i can never bear to see it. i would much rather endure the pain than watch him grimace, but i can’t—even worse, he pushed me out. now, neither of us can be small. there’s no one to take care of me when i need it, either. just myself. a small goose in a big pond. small girl in a big world.

anyways, that is all for now, i think. silly, that i spend so much mental energy on just “relationship problems.” i think i meant to focus on more, but that’s what occupies my mind at the moment. i guess other topics will be elaborated upon as the days continue.

[spnbaby-67]

Craving You - Chapter 5

Synopsis: What happens on a plane when you have a full blown panic attack and Jensen Ackles is next to you? 

A/N: Surprise ya’ll, its a couple of day’s early i know, but I wanted to post it. I also want to say a HUGE THANK YOU to Portia at @writersaredreamers for beta’ing this chapter. She has been a HUGE help. (all other mistakes are my own) Also to all of you readers out there, thank you so much for the comments you truly don’t know how much they mean to me. I do have to mention though that this is a completely Alternate Universe for Jensen Ackles and the cast of Supernatural. His job description will be mentioned in a few chapters, but i’m having fun keeping it secret right now, (i now i’m mean, but I cant help myself.) No harm to Danneel or JJ, i love them just the same. I don’t own the GIF’s so thank you creators who do them. My writing is to not be posted on any other site without my consent which I am about to post on Archives hopefully this week. 

Warnings: Panic Attack, comforting, Jensen being sweet, (not that needs a warning) Mention of autism, bullying, foreign film, Shahrukh Khan, fluff, 

                          Craving You,                               Chapter 5

I turn to look at Jensen after I realized I was still in my seat, only to see he was still in his. He was looking over some reports still, I guess the same ones from earlier. Did I fall asleep and dream that kiss? How much of that was true? What happened from the time I came back from my panic attack till now? I swallowed and shifted my position, my back was killing me. He must have heard me because he faced me.

“Hey, you ok?” He placed the papers back into his bag, got up from his seat across the aisle and came to sit by me. He placed his left arm around me. “You fell asleep after your panic attack, I thought it would be easier to let you rest.” He pulled the blue blanket he must have gotten from the flight attendant up over my left shoulder, I was shaking still. Not that it was cold, but from everything. The attack, the dream, how real it was, to him holding me now.

My throat felt like it was burning, and I tried to talk a couple of times but it was dry. “I um, I am so sorry.” I buried my head under the crook of his neck so he couldn’t see the tears. I’m normally not bad at panic attacks so I’m more embarrassed than anything.

He took his finger and raised my chin so I can look at him, I didn’t want to. “Ssshhh it’s ok, honestly. We all have times like that, that we can’t control. It’s ok to accept what happened and not be embarrassed about it.”

My facial expression must have given it away, “It’s not that,” I barely spoke. The flight attendant came over to hand me a bottled water which I took the cap off immediately, I was thirsty. “It’s just this never happened this bad before, to the point I had dreams with it. I know it sounds crazy and all, but did you kiss me?” I sat up at that time to look at him, I wanted to see his reaction.

He smiled at me, “You mean like this?”

He leans towards me, his face coming to me again just like before then disappeared when his lips touched mine. My left hand went behind his neck to card the short hairs he had thru my fingers. His hair felt soft like silk, and he smelt like leather and old spice. It was intoxicating, I feel the heat between us once more, as my heart sped up.  Inside my head I’m thinking what the hell am I doing, but my heart is like quit listening to your head and enjoy what you got. I relax a bit more after that, and I feel myself leaning backwards a bit. My head hit the pillow that I could only assume a flight attendant had given me earlier.

As Jensen reclined my seat I became acutely aware of the level of privacy we have versus the other side of the curtain. If we had been in coach I'm sure several passengers would have had some loud and crude comments but I didn’t care i was in heaven.  As Jensen’s right hand went around my back I became aware of the hazards of falling asleep in an awkward position, my back chose that moment to let me know it. I suddenly felt Jensen release from my lips and I opened my eyes to see the beautiful man before me. My face was red and I couldn’t catch a breath.

“Wow,” was all I could say.

His smile was like a kid winning a huge price at a county fair as he sat up from me. “You ok?” he managed to ask.

Nervously, I sat up to join him. “Y yeah, that was,” I paused to look down a moment to think of the word to say, then I looked up at him.

“Amazing.” We both end up saying it together.

I shook my head, as we both laughed. Jensen told me that I had slept for about an hour, and he constantly checked on me. I didn’t mean to worry him, hell I didn’t mean to have a full blown attack either. But he was very sweet to keep an eye on me, no one has ever been that kind before. Eventually, the seatbelt light came on and one of our flight attendants  informed us of possible turbulence due to a storm we was to be flying through. Jensen returned to his seat after he made sure I was ok, and picked up where he left off on the files he had been reading earlier.

I grabbed my laptop that was in the sleeve of the seat in front of me, looking at it rather perplexed, I don’t remember putting it there. Did that dream really happen? Could he have really kissed me twice? My brain couldn’t comprehend that, but oh the kiss….. The one I'm sure happened, it was totally amazing, his lips are so soft and sweet, just so damn perfect, they fit together with mine like a missing piece that completed the puzzle. I couldn’t believe he actually kissed me though, but I would never for a moment regret it. I selected a movie that I had downloaded awhile back, but never got the chance to watch till now. I figured this would occupy the rest of the flight at least till we started the descend into Texas, god just the thought of that. I’m not too sure on how that’s going to go.

“Hi,” a flight attendant who's name tag said Jaci, came over to me with a tray. “I managed to save your lunch, you wasn't awake when I was here earlier, so here you go.” She paused, “Would you like anything to drink with it?” She was very sweet and polite.

“Um, sure Dr. Pepper?” that’s my go to soda, I think I should invest into the company as much as I drink it. She nodded and went to the back after giving me my lunch.

I look over at Jensen, he smiled and looked up at me as if he sensed my gaze. That smile, oh my it's just pure heaven. I realize that I've started thinking  about his smile, his eyes, his lip… Sigh… A lot for only knowing him less than 24 hours. What has he done to me? He is so sweet, and kind. Nothing like the normal guys I've been with. God sure knew what he did when he created that man. I tucked a strand of wayward hair behind my ear, I was beginning to feel the blush start. “What?” I asked him.

“Soda?”

“That’s how we say it back in Texas, how do you say it?”

“I say soda too, but I meant why have that when you have complimentary wine and mixed drinks at your disposal.” He raised his glass at me.

“Oh, I don’t really drink that much and I figured the way my stomach feels, that I really shouldn’t chance it without having something on it.”

“Yeah you're probably right about that. I’ll be finished with this report soon and I’ll be glad to sit next to you and help distract you before we land.”

“I’d like that, thank you. Would you like to watch a movie with me?”

“Sure, eat first and then I’ll join you.” He winked at me.

I did just as that, I was thankful she saved a tray for me because I was starving. After I was done, Jaci came to take tray and refilled my drink for me just before Jensen put his stuff up to join me. I booted up the laptop and remembered.

“Um, do you watch foreign film?” I looked at him with a apprehensive face.

“I have on occasions, if it’s got subtitles I’m sure I can keep up. What movie is it?” he settled next to me as I moved closer to the window.

“It’s called My Name Is Khan, by a Indian actor that I really admire. He’s taught me a lot about love, friendship, and to have a heart. He’s very big actor in many countries, but if you ask me; he is even better than some actors here.” I saw him raise an eyebrow.

“Really, what’s his name?”

“His name is Shahrukh Khan, he’s really amazing. I’ve been a fan for 8 years now.”

“Wow, ok then. Let’s get comfortable and watch the movie.” He shifted so that I can lean against him.

I placed the laptop on the tray in front of me and started the movie. I made sure it had subtitles on it so he can understand what the movie is about. I don’t really need them any more since I know Hindi, it was a passion of mine to learn it. Every time I start one of these films I think of my neighbors across the street and the amazing chicken curry that the mom made. I snuggled against Jensen and peaked at him every once and awhile to see if he was enjoying the movie

It wasn’t long before the seatbelt light came on and Jaci announced we were starting our descent for landing, Jensen looked down at me confused . ” How long is this film?”

I laughed “2 hours and 45 minutes.”

He looked at the time bar on the laptop “We've only watched an hour and a half… Hmmm I guess I should see you again so I can watch the rest.” He flashed me that winning smile and I felt me cheeks redden.

“Do you like it so far?” I squeaked out

He took my hand in his “This movie is totally mind blowing, it amazes me every time I see someone with a certain disability like autism, find ways to grow with it and accept what they have and make something into it, but that bullying part when they killed her son because of his last name. That hit me hard, it's sad to think that there are people like that in this world.”

I took my right hand and gently washed away his tears, “I was bullied all my life. Through school, life in general, it’s hard to go through it every day. Times I decided to give up on and just say fuck it, but something would happen and stop me. I hope I didn’t upset you or anything by asking you to watch the movie with me.” I truly hoped had not upset him.

“Oh no you didn’t, I see why you like this guy. He’s great, I like what I've watched so far and I can't wait to see the rest.” He kissed the back of my hand and released it, I hugged him after I put my laptop away, the captain announced that we was approaching Austin Airport. I could feel his steady heartbeat as I laid my head on his chest. He promised to keep me safe and he did, he had one arm around me, and the other in front of me. The blanket I had was over my shoulders, the closer we got to the ground the more I began to tremble and the tighter he held me.

He took his right hand and cradled my head to his chest and began to hum a song I didn’t recognize, but it was soothing. I became lost in this moment, he was protecting me from the bad motion sickness that I was feeling along with everything else. The way the plane dipped each time it went down closer and closer to the tarmac, it felt ten times worse. I buried my head more each time into his chest, focused on his heartbeat and the humming as I kept my eyes closed. He held me the whole time, God thank you for this man he is amazing.

We finally landed and pulled into the gate, he held me a few more minutes before we had to actually get up and collect our things. Truthfully, I’m glad he did because I dunno if I would have made it. I gave him the all clear and stood up from our seats, he helped me get my carry on from the overhead bin. He gathered his backpack and walked out of the plane with me. My legs were a bit wobbly, but I managed to walk the ramp. Thank goodness he had his arm around my waist, I dunno what it was either, the after effects of the panic attack, or his beautiful self-next to me.  We went to the baggage claim to get our luggage and I really hated to see him leave, he asked me if I had a ride which I told him about Jeff.

“Are you sure you got a ride to where you’re going?” he stood really close to me.

“I do, Jo’s fiancé is coming to get me. He should be here already.” We walked out of the baggage claim and the first thing to greet me was the heat that hit me in the face and took my breath away. “Wow, I don’t miss the Texas heat for sure.” I fanned myself as I took a drink from the water bottle I got after we landed.

He walked us over to an more private area that didn’t have very many people waiting on their rides, “Here, this is my number. call me if you would like to finish that movie.” He smiled like he just was the happiest person on earth at that moment.

I looked up at him, “I might do that, how long you here?”

“About a week, I go back Sunday. I’m here for a friend’s birthday and to see family.  Hopefully we’ll run into each other again.” He held my hand.

“I’d like that,” I waved to Jeff who I saw approaching from behind Jensen.

He turned to see a familiar person. But didn’t act like he knew him. “Great, send me a text when your free and we’ll get together.” He winked at me, then leaned in to kiss me.

“Uh Hmm, am I interrupting anything?” Jeff’s deep voice interrupted our kiss.

I smiled into our kiss then opened my eyes as I looked at Jeff, “Um, kind of.”

Jensen pursed his lips together at my bluntness. “A girl who speaks her mind, I like that.” He held my hand as he stood next to me.

“Um Jeff, this is Jensen, Jensen this is Jeffrey Dean Morgan my best friends fiancé.”

He shook hands with him, but what I didn’t see was the nod they gave each other as we said our final goodbyes.

**If anyone wants to be tagged send me and message or an ask, Thank you all so much, I love you all*

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[jwminssi]

so dim the spotlights

Jungkook doesn't think he has ever been a fan of someone as much as he is of Park Jimin. That being said, it is totally understandable that he completely forgets his words when he sees said idol sitting at the coffee shop he works at one day.

jikook // 2.4K // fluff (ao3)

Jimin pushed his sunglasses up the bridge of his nose before walking in the small coffee shop. He looked around as the door closed behind him, the bell above it still swinging lightly, and was pleased to find the place was nearly empty, save for a woman typing away on her computer and a group of boys – most likely college students – having their daily dose of caffeine.

Making his way to the counter, he read the coffee options on the display and recounted his appointments for the rest of the day, wondering just how much energy he would need to get by. Jimin smiled warmly at the man behind taking the orders, his pastel green hair a contrast to the sharpness in his eyes.

“Good morning. What can I get you?” The man – Yoongi, according to his nametag – asked and Jimin was surprised by his voice for a moment.

He quickly composed himself, though, and made his order, deciding to stay safe and ask for something that would definitely get him through his hectic schedule but that wouldn’t make him too jittery. Jimin was just about to take a seat when Yoongi spoke.

“Park Jimin?” He asked. “As in, the idol?” Jimin almost pulled a face at that; he was really trying to lay low that day.

“Yeah…” He answered instead. Then he paused as a frown disrupted his face. “You don’t look like the type of person that listens to my music, though…”

Yoongi huffed. “I don’t.” He moved around with ease, working with the machines as if it was second nature to him. “But I know someone who does…” A pause and then he talked again, annoyance clear in his tone. “Someone who is very late.”

“Oh?” Jimin limited himself to say, not really knowing how to carry the conversation.

“My little brother, Jungkook.” Yoongi provided as he picked up a cup. “Knows the lyrics to all your songs, has learned pretty much all your dance routines and probably has one piece of merchandise for each day of the month.”

Jimin smiled, warmth spreading all over his chest at hearing about a fan. “That’s adorable.” He leaned against the counter as curiosity won him over. “Male fans aren’t really common.”

Yoongi nodded as he finished Jimin’s coffee. “I know. That’s probably why he keeps himself from going to fansigns.”

“He shouldn’t worry about that.” Jimin frowned. “I’m sure my female fans would love seeing him there.”

“You mean the ones that aren’t trying to marry you.” Yoongi smirked as he said it and Jimin couldn’t help the giggle that escaped his lips.

“Right.” He accepted his coffee and looked at it for a moment as he thought. “You think he’ll be here soon?”

Yoongi sighed. “Well, he was supposed to be here since fifteen minutes ago.”

Just as Yoongi had finished his sentence, the front door opened to reveal an extremely disheveled Jungkook, barely being able to keep himself up and breathing as if he had just lost a lung.

“Now that’s one hell of a first impression.” Yoongi muttered to Jimin as they both watched the younger boy walk to the counter, nearly flipping over a table.

“Hyung!” Jungkook wheezed. “I’m so sorry. Class went on for a bit longer, then I lost the ride home and decided to walk…” A cough made it way out of his mouth, interrupting him. “But then I realized I wouldn’t make it here on time so I started running but…” He held himself up by leaning against the counter and Jimin could only watched, amused, as the boy explained himself. “I wasn’t fast enough.”

“Don’t stress over it, kid.” Yoongi dismissed him with a hand and a smile. “Go put your uniform on and come back here.”

“Thank you, hyung.” Jungkook bowed and quickly made his way to the back of the shop.

“Is he always like this?” Jimin asked when he was out of earshot.

“Mostly, yes.” Yoongi answered honestly and laughed a little at his brother’s antics.

“He’s cute.” Jimin said without thinking and then froze, sitting up straighter and looking at Yoongi with wide eyes. “You didn’t hear me say that.”

Yoongi merely raised his hands but couldn’t stop the smirk that placed itself on his lips.

“Are you going to talk to him?” The older asked as he cleaned the spot on the balcony where Hurricane Jungkook had gone through.

“Is he going to have a heart attack?” Yoongi snorted at the question.

“No.” He thought for a second. “I can’t promise he won’t stare at you like a creep, though.”

Jimin giggled and nodded before taking another sip of his coffee. Yoongi went to take care of a customer that had just walked in and he was left alone for a moment as he waited for Jungkook to come back. To be honest, Jimin had no idea why he was doing this; he was supposed to be on his way to the studio to record the finishing touches of his next album and had vowed to make this day as calm as possible, which meant everything he could to not run into any fan.

Now, don’t get him wrong, Jimin loved his fans. But on some days he just wanted to get through life and his schedule without having to be surrounded by guards to secure his way in or out of buildings because there were groups of yelling girls everywhere he went. Of course he knew it was all a part of the career he chose for himself but it didn’t mean he had to like it.

Jungkook didn’t take long to show up and Jimin had the chance to take a proper look at him as he received some orders from Yoongi. He could be an idol if he wanted to, Jimin thought as he studied his doe eyes, his pretty face and his cute smile that would certainly get girls swooning left and right just by looking at him.

“See if that customer needs anything.” He heard Yoongi say and point at him, immediately lowering his head to hide himself as much as he could.

“Excuse me, is everything okay here?” Jungkook asked when he was close enough and Jimin smiled before looking up at him.

“I’m sorry, what was that?”

There was a sharp intake of breath and then Jungkook froze as he stared at Jimin with wide eyes and mouth half-open, not believing what he was seeing. Yoongi laughed to their right and then leaned against the balcony to watch the scene unfold.

“Told you he was just going to stand there staring at you.”

“It’s alright.” Jimin said, completely infatuated with this boy he had just met. “Are you okay, Jungkook-ah?”

Jungkook let out what he would later swear up and down wasn’t a squeal and covered his mouth with his hands, making Jimin giggle in the process. His heart was hammering in his chest, especially after hearing that sound he had always wanted to hear in person, and for a moment it felt as if he had never learned how to speak.

“Say something, kid, or you’ll scare him.” Yoongi said with an amused smirk.

“J-Jimin-ssi.” Jungkook choked out then cleared his throat when his voice came out higher than normal. “It’s an ho-honor to m-meet you.” He bowed respectfully and Jimin tried to ignore the flips his heart was doing.

“Since when do you stutter so much?” Yoongi went on with his teasing and Jungkook’s face turned a bright shade of red.

“You’re younger than me, right?” Jimin asked and Jungkook nodded, eyes still double their size. “Call me hyung, then… I have a feeling I’ll be coming here again soon.”

Yoongi shook his head when Jungkook didn’t say anything again and occupied himself with a client that had just walked in, hoping that his brother would regain some composure.

“I-I wanted to say…” Jungkook started and then frowned as he looked down at his feet. Jimin waited patiently with the sweetest smile on his face and just the thought that it was directed at him was turning Jungkook’s brain into jelly. “You’re um… You’re a huge inspiration to me a-and I should thank you all the things you have ever done f-for me. I mean, for us! T-the fans, I mean the fans…” He stopped before he could embarrass himself even more and risked a glance up only to find Jimin still looking at him the same way.

“You’re welcome, Jungkookie.” Jimin sipped his drink and smiled again. “I truly appreciate everything you just said, it means a lot.” He looked at the clock on the wall and sighed. “I have to get to the studio soon but before I go… Is there anything you want me to sign? I’d take a picture but I’m not really supposed to do that.” His face changed into a slight grimace and Jungkook nodded.

“I know, it’s okay…” He thought for a moment and then pouted. “I just came from school so I didn’t bring anything with me.”

Jimin’s expression matched his for a second and then he was smiling again, but it looked more as if he was planning something than anything else.

“Guess I’ll just have to come back tomorrow, then.” Jimin shrugged nonchalantly as he got up from his seat. Yoongi snorted to their side when Jungkook was left speechless at that. “See you!” He winked at Jungkook, who nearly combusted into flames right then and there, and just like that he was gone.

“What a day, huh, kid?” Yoongi clapped him hard on the back and Jungkook hated how amused he sounded but had no capacity to say anything at all, not with the way his whole body seemed to be close to shutting down with all that had happened in such a short amount of time.

He would just have to prepare himself for tomorrow and hope to every single force out there that he didn’t pass out if Jimin kept what he had said.

And he did – Jungkook just couldn’t decide if for the best or the worst yet.

Jimin went back the next morning and almost every day after that for two weeks before his fans caught up on his routine. He walked in one day to find about a dozen cameras on his face, the previously quiet coffee shop turning into a mess of giggles and screaming and all kinds of things people did to get his attention.

“Jimin-oppa!” A girl closer to him called and Jimin waved at her before making his way to the counter, hoping his smile was friendly enough.

“Sorry, we couldn’t exactly kick them out.” Jungkook scratched the back of his neck with an apologetic expression on his face.

“It’s alright.” Jimin sighed. “It’s probably my fault for coming here every day.”

“I’m glad you did.” Jungkook admitted in a small voice as he rang Jimin’s usual order.

“What was that?” Jimin asked with a teasing smile and leaned in closer on the balcony as the younger blushed, a habit he had acquired over the past few days.

It was only when he heard the cameras going off that he remembered they were surrounded by people watching his every step – and that he couldn’t risk to take one in the wrong direction. Jimin’s smile faltered and he pulled away, clearing his throat and putting his hands on his jacket pockets as he waited.

“Do you have a pen?” He asked all of a sudden and Jungkook frowned before reaching under the counter and giving him what he wanted. Jimin picked up a folder from the display and quickly wrote something before sliding it over the wooden surface until it reached Jungkook. “I won’t be able to come back here for a while because of all this…” Jimin paused and he was weirdly shy. “So that’s my number. Call me sometime, yeah?”

“S-sure, hyung.” Jungkook stuttered and quickly put the piece of paper inside his pocket. “Here.” He handed over Jimin’s drink and they exchanged smiles.

“Use that soon, okay?” Jimin asked, softly, his cheeks slightly reddened. “Oh, and take this.” He said as he pulled some more money from his wallet and left it on the counter before turning around to face his fans. “I’m sorry I can’t stay and talk to you but please go ahead and eat something, all of you. And don’t worry, oppa just paid for it.”

The small group cheered and let out a chorus of thank you, oppa that made Jimin smile harder than he already was. He loved his fans, he truly did, because he knew most of them were sweet and respectful and he was proud that they worked hard to stay like that. So he did everything he could to reciprocate all they had done for him in his years as an idol.

“Now, behave and eat well. See you guys soon!” He bowed to them and put his sunglasses on. “Bye, Jungkookie!” Jimin said loud enough to be heard over his fans and waved at him before walking to the door.

“B-bye, hyung.” Jungkook said a moment later when the door was about to close and he only knew Jimin had heard him because he paused and shot him one of his blinding smiles.

Jungkook worked all day with the weight of Jimin’s phone number on his pocket, the piece of paper feeling like it was about to burn through the fabric of his jeans and the sound of his hyung’s voice when he said to call repeating itself inside his brain like an alarm.

He told Yoongi about it and the older merely raised his eyebrows in surprise, then smiled slyly as he implied all the things Jungkook didn’t want to be too hopeful about.

“Just call him.” Yoongi said after dinner when he found Jungkook staring blankly at the wall instead of doing the dishes. “He gave you his number for a reason.”

Later, when Jungkook was alone in his room he searched his jeans for that one piece of paper and stared at it for a moment before he finally picked up his phone and started dialing.

[bahannah01writes]

Lunar Love

Pairing: Kim Namjoon x Reader

Genre: Light Angst and Fluff

Word Count: 4.2k

Summary: Namjoon has been overworking himself lately; the bags under his eyes and the constant headaches are enough to let you know- no matter how much he tries to deny it. You’re not sure how to help any more than what you’ve done until a certain video online offers some insight.

W o w I honestly didn’t mean to write this much but it happened and I love it lol I hope you do too!

      You’re always both amazed and surprised by how true the saying ‘the city never sleeps’ is.

      Of course, you have adjusted to the city life by now and the wonder of the shimmering lights have dulled in your eyes- if anything, you miss the stars that they unfairly outshine. They are always so much more vibrant once you leave Seoul, they remind you of the world beyond your own and how small everything really is. Thoughts like that are usually taken in a rather melancholy manner, but you choose to embrace it and find comfort in it somehow. Because while we may be so small, we are gifted with this expansive universe to live and love in. From your own experiences this is simply true, and love, well it really is a gift.

      And your gift just so happens to go by the name Kim Namjoon.   

      The path you currently take leads you to your gift with many distractions attempting to catch your attention and carry your eyes to them rather than him, but you’re stubborn. There’s only one distraction you need tonight, or actually, you may be the one distracting him this time.

      He has always been one to overwork himself; MONStudio would become his fortress of solitude, the amount of melodies and lyrics brought to life within those walls is more than imaginable. Yet, so is the amount of sleep lost. Namjoon truly pours every ounce of himself into his work and while you admire him for it, you also wish he would be a little more selfish and take some time away from the busy world of BTS.

      Even now, that man is hauled up in his studio and despite how brilliant he is, it seems like he can never keep track of time working on tracks. After all, another promise about being home at a certain time has been broken tonight. This time it was by two hours, which is why you’re currently walking down the streets of Seoul at 2:30am with a bag of fish bread and other little snacks.

      Does Namjoon know? No… and he would surely tell you not to come if he did. His protective nature would certainly scold you for walking alone so late at night, especially if it was because of him. So, you decided upon a surprise visit with food because how can he resist cuddles and food?

      Besides, it’s only a five-minute walk from your apartment; it could be worse. You don’t take any alleyways either and even if you did, the pepper spray in your purse proves to be a great reassurance.

      With one last turn down a street corner, you’re met with the company that holds your dear workaholic. You walk with a new bounce in your steps, energized by the idea of seeing your probably sleepy boyfriend after going two days without his darling dimpled smile. Once inside the building, you greet the security and secretary manning the front and after a quick moment of small talk while signing in for security purposes, your feet lead you down a path that is all too familiar.

      Finally, your destination is before you when you see the entrance to a room that Namjoon had indefinitely made his own. ‘MONstudio’. As one of the lucky few to be able to walk in and out freely, you still try to be polite first. A knocks echoes out into the empty hallway and onto possibly deaf ears with no response following soon after. You suspected as much; his headphones silence the outside world and allow him to sink into his own creations. They’re stuck to his head as if they’re directly connected to his brain. Sometimes you wonder if they are whenever you listen to his music- as he lives and breathes, that man is music.

      A turn of the handle allows you to confirm your suspicion. Large headphones tune him out from the world around him and keep him synced to the studio. Tufts of disheveled gray hair cause a sympathetic smile to cross your lips as you can imagine how many times stressed hands ran through them. His eyes are probably dry as well- you should have brought eye drops. Or maybe he still has the one you bought him in his studio. After all, a person can only go so long being immersed with their computer screen before it’s at the expense of their eyes.

      A gentle hand reaches out to settle on his shoulder- not wanting to spook him and repeat what happened last time. His eyes glance over first, then after registering it as your hand, his head turns towards you and his expression twists into one of pure elation. His dimpled smile reaches his eyes as he quickly removes his headphones to stand up and take you in a warm embrace.

      Returning his action, you snuggle into his touch, just happy to be in it again, “Hello to you too, Joon.”  

      “I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever!”

      “Maybe it’s because you keep yourself locked up in here and come home way too late,” you tease, earning a bashful chuckle from the guilty party in front of you. He takes a seat back in his chair, though never lets go of your hands.

      “I know, I know. Just, it’s a busy time right now, Jagi,.”

      “Which is why it’s even more important to take time to recharge and avoid burnout, right?”

      He taught you too well. Whenever you would overwork yourself, he’d be so concerned and tried to reason with you as to why overworking results in burnouts which does nothing but leave you worn and unproductive in the end. Ergo, taking time to yourself and allowing downtime when working keeps you more productive in the long run. And here you are, reminding him of his very own advice- which makes It kinda hard to deny.

      “Plus, you owe me two hours.”

      …That is also true.

      “So what’s in the bag, jagi?” His swift, but not subtle, change in subject is given a pass and causes you to laugh. Taking a seat on the floor, you begin to unpack and set out the delectable snacks: their colorful packaging contrasts against the fairly mellow color scheme of the studio.

      “Some treats for my hardworking baby. We can eat some now, some on the walk home, and then some when we get home. Or all now. However you want to do it,” You ramble, your sleepy brain starting to take effect. Namjoon joins you on the ground and lets out an airy laugh at your rambles which he finds rather cute.

      That is before he realizes you said ‘the walk home’.

      “Wait, did you walk here?”

      “Well… only to help pull you out of overworking so you won’t get burned out.”

      The two of you sort of stare at each other for a moment as you wonder if either of you will challenge the other on the matter.

      Namjoon shrugs and picks up one of the fish bread treats, the red bean snack acting as an unspoken peace treaty. One of which you agree to, picking up one for yourself.

      Half an hour passes and the majority of snacks have been sacrificed to the early morning munchies. Talks consist of the norm albeit bouncing from subject to subject, whether it be how the rest of the boys are to him being in love with the fact that his mother adores you. The mere idea that you visit his family while he’s away to check on and spend more time with them is so precious. Although, he will try to ignore the idea of a possible exchange of embarrassing stories about him between you two- that is something he would prefer not to add to his list of worries.

      You toss a wrapper into his trash bin and watch it hit against the rim before falling in, a small victory that you possibly find more pride in than you should. All the same, it fuels you with a sense of confidence in going into making your latest attempt at getting your boyfriend to spend his night curled up in bed with you rather than sleeping, slumped over his desk with neck and shoulder pain awaiting him in the morning.

      “So, since I got us snacks, that means you owe me.”

      His brows raised as his dimples make another appearance, “I owe you?”

      You hum, taking his hand in yours, “You do, which is why you’re going to come home and go to sleep for at least… a healthy eight hours. You know, enough to recharge that brain of yours and when you wake up, I’ll also reward you with breakfast.”

      His thumb slides across the back of your hand, dark eyes glancing to his clock that only works to convince him with each passing second of the night slipping away, “Okay... I’ll take a small break.”

      A victorious fist launches into the air before you wrap yourself around him, the impact causing him to lose his balance for a moment until he could recover and hug you back. Laughter fills his studio while you place little kisses all over his face, “Winning has never been so great!”

     For the first night in a few days, you’re able to enjoy a night together and leave work at the doorstep- which is how it’s supposed to be. When you started this relationship, you knew what came with it. The late nights, the touring, the second-hand stress from all the pressure put on your workaholic lover; you knew it was coming and you were prepared for it.

     You still are. If anything, your worries lay with Namjoon. While the makeup and smiles help to hide it from the public, the lack of sleep has taken a toll on him. He’ll even forget to eat if you don’t remind him. Namjoon will lock himself in his studio for hours and work till he passes out- or, if he does come home, you can feel all the tension he holds within himself by a single touch. The thoughts that occupied his mind hardly left.

      There are some days that you can hug him without sensing the stress that radiates off him as well as those moments when you can look into his eyes and see the peace within them; those are your favorite kind of days.

      You just wish you could find a way to make those days happen more.

       The sun peeks in from the windows like a stubborn and excited friend who wants you to wake up so, so badly because the morning is ‘the best part of the day’. Naturally, you pull the blanket over your head and bury your head into Namjoon's chest, resisting the warm glow in an attempt to make the night last longer. A hand travels along your side, causing you to look up to the only one who it could be just to catch the gaze of a sleepy and smiling Namjoon, “Morning, baby girl.”

      You tilt your head up to leave a light kiss where his jaw meets his neck, “Morning, Joon, did you sleep well?”

      Realizing just how much he’s missed early mornings with you, even if it was almost 11am, he couldn’t help but pull you closer to his body, “The best I have in a long time.”

      “Really? See, told you that you just have to listen to me, silly,” The smile reaches your eyes as your light teasing causes an airy chuckle to pass his lips, no matter what he will never escape your teasing, will he? Then again, he can’t say he doesn’t miss it when he’s on tour either.

      “I guess you’re always right after all.”

      “You bet I am!”

      A sudden burst of energy pulses through your vein as you sit up and deliver a sweet kiss to his lips, resting a hand on his cheek, “Now, get your bum ready. I’m making breakfast!”

      In a swift motion, you leap off the bed and dash into the kitchen, making all sorts of noise as you take out all the pans, bowls, and utensils needed. The clattering in the kitchen beckons your lover from bed, albeit not without some delay due to the sleep still in his eyes. Hands come around your waist, halting your cooking and pulling you closer to the chest behind you. His head cranes over and rests on your shoulder, his eyes lingering on your own to share a sweet gaze. The unspoken question in the air is answered when you press your lips to his own plump pair, raising to lay a hand on his cheek to help deepen the exchange.

      “What are you making?”

      “I was just thinking some omelets and sausages, I also have fruit I can take out,” You propose, leaning into his touch and smiling up at a face you will never be tired of seeing.

      His hum of delight tells you that he more than approves and causes you to laugh a bit, “A delicious breakfast without Jin’s sass, love it.”

      Slipping out of his grasp, you shake your head, “The only reason he’s so strict and sassy with you in the kitchen is that despite your very sweet efforts to help, you mess with his flow.” Said discouraged helper hops on the counter and watches as you start to move breakfast along, “Plus, he may still be upset about that time when you tried to help with baking and added granulated sugar rather than powder.”

      Namjoon throws his head back, “They’re both sugar!”

     “And yet, they’re so different.”

      You try but fail at holding in your giggle when he sighs in exasperation, giving up, “I know that now.”

      “Go wait in the living room, you goof, I’ll be done in just a moment, okay?”

      “Okay,” before he follows your playful orders, Namjoon leaves you with a swift kiss on the cheek.

      Moments later, you proudly plate your breakfast. The two plates look absolutely appetizing and you can’t wait to show Namjoon either; hopefully, you’ll even impress him. Feet pad against the floor as you carry the plates over to your tiny table, setting them down gently. Remembering that you typically need utensils to eat food as well, you make your way back into the kitchen and collect two sets of forks and knives.

      “Alright, Joonie! We are all-” The words got caught in your throat as you see his lips shift into a frown and his eyes refusing to meet your own. You know all too well what that face means by now. “... Already?”

      “I’m sorry Y/n, they called and-”

      Dejected yet sympathetic, you wave your hand to stop him from saying anymore- both because you already know the words to follow and also to save yourself from a small heartbreak. You muster up a smile and hug him, not letting him respond before you can say your peace with it, “It’s okay, we did wake up a little later and it probably is around noon right? I’m fine, Joon. I’ll wrap up your food so you can take it with you.”

      It almost feels like Namjoon’s afraid you’ll slip away with how tight he’s holding you.

      “Thank you, I… I really hope you know how much I appreciate you.”

      Rather than answering, you take his face in your hands, reach up, and kiss his nose. Eyes lock onto one another and speak silent words that no tongue could match.

      The following days hardly lighten up and Namjoon only seems to progressively get worse. The stress of the new comeback is weighing on him more than the ones preceding it, which only causes you to worry even more. You do all you can to help lighten the load whether it’s visiting him with small gifts and food or sending him encouraging little messages throughout the day. He says it helps- but you can still see how heavy the pressure is weighing on Namjoon despite him dismissing it and saying he’s okay.

      At this point, you don’t know what you can do anymore.

      Those fleeting moments where you see his truly happy self are becoming less and less. The very burnout that you were worried about is happening and you’re not positive if there is anything you could possibly do to help turn it around- not until after the comeback passes. But even then, a tour is surely soon to follow. How can you get a man to take time for himself if there’s hardly any room for it to begin with?

       You would see him less and less over the next two weeks. Of course, you two wanted to see each other, but between your own work and how busy he’s become, it became almost impossible. Even when you were free, getting him out of his fortress of solitude is a fight. And one night it really escalated to an actual fight, words would shoot back and forth. You were frustrated and he was stressed and suddenly, all of those pent up emotions shot out over the phone at each other.

      Thankfully, he did take time to visit you the next afternoon and apologize, you did as well, but in the end, the two of you felt defeated… Because again, what can you do to change it?

      Or so you thought.

      Late night videos sessions can lead to many things and your virtual journey last night lead you to a possible answer. It would take a bit of time and lots of research to make it happen though- but you’re determined to see Namjoon’s face when the surprise is revealed.

      For the first time in weeks, you’re feeling reinvigorated. You are motivated and thrilled over this new idea, anticipation growing with each passing day and with each new piece of progress. While you’re not usually fond of the lack of communication between you and Namjoon, admittingly it is easier to hide all your possibly suspicious running around. Plus, it also allows you to get your apartment ready for what’s to come.

                                                           x

      Finally, the day arrives when everything has come together and you are bouncing in place, the excitement bubbling over while you wait for Namjoon to arrive at your apartment. Your surprise lingers in the corner of your eyes, waiting to be revealed and you feel as if he can’t get here soon enough.

      As if your thoughts have summoned him, a knock on your door echoes through the apartment. Adrenaline pulses through your veins, feet dashing towards the door and swinging it open only to throw your arms around the neck of your sweetheart. You receive a delayed return of your hug, possibly due to the surprise of such excitement, and few soft chuckles, “Happy to see you too.”

      “Better be because I have a surprise!”

      “Do you now?” All he gets is a happy hum as a response while you take his hand in yours, leading him further into the apartment. You let go for a brief moment just to close your door behind him and then reach up from behind him, placing hands over his eyes, which makes Namjoon all the more amused by this peculiar situation, “Jagi, what is going on?”

      “I told you, I have a surprise and I don’t want it to be accidentally spoiled. So, let’s go to the couch and I’ll go grab it from there, okay?”

      He follows without another question, knowing that if he goes with this plan of yours it will all be a lot smoother for him. After a few more steps, you tell him to take a seat, he does, and leave him with one last order to not open his eyes- he promises he won’t. Smiling to yourself, you leave your temporarily sight depraved boyfriend on the couch as you approach the 50-gallon tank set against the wall on a small bookcase. You remove the top and ever so carefully reach down to grab the colorful creature from her branch, thankfully, she appears to be rather calm and doesn’t move around too much. Gently approaching Namjoon again, making sure to keep your little friend safe, you sit across from him on the floor. Once situated, eyes glance up at his closed ones, waiting to watch his reaction, “Alright, you can look.”

      So he does.

       Almost instantly the Joon that you’ve missed, the one whose mind is free from the plague of stress, returns. His dimples make an appearance as his smile spreads across his cheeks, he moves down to the floor to get a better look at this new addition to his heart. His dark eyes only met yours once before returning to the animal with such fascination that you haven’t seen in weeks.

      You couldn’t hold back your giggle; completely in love with the man in front of you. The childlike wonder in his eyes tells you that this surprise really is a good one and will hopefully assist in destressing Namjoon in a new and interesting way.

      “I’m sure you already guessed as much, but this is your surprise, Joonie. She’s a little Moon crab! A Halloween Moon crab specifically.”

      “A Halloween Moon Crab? How did you even find her?” He asks, though his eyes never leave the tiny crab that’s only about two inches big. Not that you mind, she is rather beautiful and well, Namjoon really loves his crabs. Her legs are a soft orange, apart from her two claws that prove to be an absolutely vibrant violet. The back was a stark contrast from the bright colors, covered in black. Two pale orange specks are next to her eyes and one in between above her mouth, they are all accompanied by four smaller white dots that lead down her back- her sweet and spooky color scheme leaves no room to wonder where her name comes from.

      “I guess since I was watching animal videos, when I was looking up ‘Moon Child’ Moon crabs were a suggestion and I couldn’t help but look into them. I found out that they can be kept as pets and I thought she may help you take a little more time to yourself- even if it’s just because you want to see her,” You trail off, an amused smile playing on your features as you gently set down the little crab on the coffee table behind you, “They like to eat fruits, so I’m going slice up some mango and you can watch her. You also need to think of a name for her!”

      His excitement grows at both the idea to name this tiny sweetheart and to watch her eat, too. Namjoon gently pets her back, still in some disbelief that this is really happening. You got him a crab- a crab! Oh- he’ll have to do some research about this little girl; he wants to know everything and anything so he can make sure that she’ll always be a happy crabby. He also has to think of a name and while he can’t quite place why, Namjoon is liking Namsun- maybe Nammie or Sunnie for short.

      A little over a minute later, you return with a small plate of thinly sliced mango and lettuce. Slipping next to Namjoon, you place the tiny platter in front of the crab- automatically gaining her attention and a few cute clicks of her claws as she scutters over. In the most adorable and odd fashion, she begins to eat one of the mango slices, picking it up with her purple pinchers and feeding it into her mouth while her eyes bobble a little to inspect the rest of the plate. Namjoon made little noises of awe which you may or may not have made your own noises of awe at.

      “So, did you think of a name?”

      His gray hair shakes with his nod, “I was thinking about Namsun!”

      “Namsun and Namjoon, it's perfect!” You lay your head on his shoulder as you two contently watch Namsun eat. A feeling akin to being a proud parent washes over you and you place a chaste kiss on his lips, “You're going to help out, right? Make time for her and yourself?”

      He chuckles, wrapping an arm around you and breaking his gaze on Namsun to look at you, “I will, definitely… huh, and you know what?”

      “Hmm?”

      Namjoon's lips slip into a smirk, “With Namsun around, I won't be just your daddy anymore.”

      “... I get you a crab and you do this to me?”

      He simply throws his head back in laughter and despite your rolling eyes, you couldn't be happier. Your Namjoon is back; your playful and curious boyfriend whose beaming with such elation is back. And as you watch him gently stroke Namsun’s back, you know that even if there are few more bumps in the road, Namjoon will continue on with a reminder that it’s okay to take a break- all thanks to a girl who loves him and a spooky little crab.

x x x 

The moment I found out about this crab and how cute it was I knew I needed to somehow include it in a fic with Joon haha so again, I hope you liked it! Feel free to tell me what you think and if you have any requests! :) 

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