#honestly though he probably gets his root canals for free

[fazcinatingblog]

wow who would’ve thought bucks was rude on the phone

[maprron]

The perfect life

This is the third story I wrote today but this time I decided why not go back to my roots and put all the Nalu week prompts together and make one big one-shot so here it is. Disclaimer I didn’t proofread this so I hope it makes sense 😭 sorry for the gaps I am uploading from my phone 🥲

Lucy looked back on the past few years of her life and laughed. She couldn’t believe how much her life had changed over these years.

Little did she know that when she met an obnoxious pink haired boy with an equally obnoxious blue cat that fateful day in that port town of Hargeon that they would change her life.

She remembered how they both found each other annoying but he agreed to help her get into fairy tail so she put how much he annoyed her and left the town with him.

She couldn’t stand being around him and even after she joined his team she found him rude and annoying.

Somehow at some point though they both started getting over themselves and actually developed a relationship that Lucy had never expected they would have. Somehow Natsu went from being the last person she wanted to be around to being one of her best friends. Somehow the blonde found herself trusting her life with Natsu. Somehow she found herself actually enjoying his presence.

And one day during a job she realized she had fallen for him. She didn’t know why but she did. She didn’t want to so she suppressed those feelings she had for her teammate for years, scared of the rejection.

She tried going on dates with other guys, hoping that maybe she could get past her stupid crush, but everytime she was only wishing it was Natsu with her instead of the unforgettable guys who she couldn’t remember the names of now

Everytime she was away from that stupid grin of his she missed it, and she hated that.

She ended up convincing herself that Natsu wasn’t into these types of things so she never chased after him. She never planned on telling him how she felt.

Until one day, she remembered it was winter and the two of them were walking alone, she looks back and wonders where was Happy that night? She doesn’t know, she’s isn’t even sure if she knew that night.

She held onto his hand that no matter what it was always warm when he said the words “you know I love you right!”

“Yeah dummy,” she punched his shoulder playfully before leaning her head against it “I love you too”

“No, I mean… I mean I love you, Lucy” he said in a serious tone which stopped Lucy dead in her tracks. She didn’t believe what she was hearing

“You love me? In what way?” She asked, stunned at his words that were oh to good to be true

“I love ya Lucy, I have for years and I figured if you felt the same you would have said something by now since you are better with emotions then me but honestly I can’t keep it bottled up anymore. I love you” Lucy stood still, scared that if she moved that this would all just be a dream.

So her lips moved for her

“I love you too,” she said softly. Natsu’s body then reacted by leaning down slightly and kissing her lip tenderly. And she enjoyed it.

After their kiss outside the park that cold evening she let him take her out on some dates. They weren’t your average dates and definitely not the dates Lucy had dreamed of but what did she expect when she fell in love with Natsu Dragneel.

He thought that taking jobs alone together counted as a date so sometimes he did what he does best and drag her off on a surprise job. Other times they would actually go to restaurants but Lucy usually was the one who had to pay as he would admit he had spent all his money, Lucy would just roll her eyes and laugh at him. Other times they would just hang out in her apartment and just talk for hours, losing track of time, those were their favorites.

One day however he took her out to just walk. It was a winter night much like the one they had confessed to each other one the year prior. Lucy held onto Natsu’s hand similarly as she did the last time however this time Natsu was the first one to let go, an unwelcome cold engulfed her hand.

“Natsu?” Lucy pouted as he walked a few feet in front of her “is something wrong, love?”

“No” he turned to her with his signature grin present on his face, he then started walking back to her till he was able to grab both of her hands. She smiled at the warmth “have I ever told you how much I love you?” He asked

“Every day” she giggled, he smiled at her laugh

“How about how beautiful you are?” He asked and she smiled and nodded “A bunch actually”

“Good” he smiled down at her before letting go of one of her hands and putting the free hand in his pocket and then pulling out a small box. Lucy looked at him confused, still holding onto his warm hand.

Natsu then got down on one knee and opened up the small box with only one hand. Lucy gasped as she saw the small diamond ring in the box. Natsu looked at her for a second before his face turned completely red and he closed his eyes. The only words he managed to get out at that moment was “marry me”. Lucy smiled at her embarrassed boyfriend before leaning down to grab his face and sweetly kiss him.

As she pulled away she simply said ���yes” and that is all either of them needed.

She smiled at herself in the vanity mirror as she gently rocked the baby in her arms to sleep.

“Aunt Lucy!” Both Shutora and Yajeh cried happily as they ran towards Lucy

“You ready?” the happy voice of Levy filled the room as her twins gently hugged Lucy, cautious about the baby in her arms

“I’m nervous” Lucy laughed as she leaned back against the chair

“Aw Lu, there is no need to be nervous” Levy smiled, sitting down in a chair next to her “everything is going to be fine, and then after this you two can make some more cute babies” Levy smiled as she tickled Nasha’s belly. Lucy softly slapped her best friend

“Levy just because that’s what you did doesn’t I should” Lucy rolled her eyes as Levy laughed

“Aw come on it’s not such a bad idea” she grinned, resting a hand on her almost 9 month belly.

“I’ll think about it” Lucy said to get Levy to hush “now can you help get her into her dress?”

The wedding wasn’t very traditional but neither was their relationship. Most people got married in the cathedral while they got married under the tree that he once uprooted and sailed down the canal, something Lucy is still unsure of how he did it. Shutora and Yajeh were the flower girl and ring bearer, Levy was the maid of honor, and Erza, Wendy, and Mira were all bridesmaids. Natsu didn’t necessarily have groomsmen but Levy, Erza, and Juvia all threatened Gajeel, Jellal, and Gray to play the part. Gajeel and Gray booed Natsu when he spoke, which got them momentarily thrown out of the wedding and made Lucy and Natsu laugh. Lucy couldn’t say that it was her fairytale dream wedding but she did know that I sure was a Fairy Tail wedding so what could she expect.

All Lucy’s life she had dreamed of the perfect dream relationship and if little her could see her she would probably be a little upset about how it played out but Lucy isn’t and is glad that finally after all these years she can finally be surrounded by her chosen family, even if they aren’t perfect.

[crystaljins]

The ‘mum’ friend | 09 FINAL

Characters: Jin x Reader

Word count: 1.5 K

Synopsis:  Jin’s a little tired of being the mum friend  but that won’t stop you from looking after him when he’s sick.

Notes:  The final installment. I don’t know who’s dumber at this point. Jin or the reader. 

I guess I’ll leave that up to you guys to decide ;)

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9

Jin does not cope with being sick very well. You’ve always attributed it to his inability to accept help from anyone. He’s never seemed to be able to grasp the concept that constantly helping others does not mean he cannot accept help himself.

So when he’d showed up on your doorstep that morning with a runny nose and a fever, you’d been quick to drag him inside. He’d obviously protested- he had been determined to spend the day with you and share whatever the important piece of information was that he had to “make sure to do right” he had told you about the day before. Whatever it was, it could wait.

Or at least, you thought it could wait. Jin did not agree, apparently.

“If we leave now,” he gasps, his voice nasally and choked. “We can still make the booking I have for-“

“Jin,” you cut him off firmly, setting down the bowl of chicken soup you’ve been trying and failing to feed him for the past few minutes. “You have a fever. I’m not sure what you think that means, but what it does mean is that you need rest. Whatever you wanted to tell me can wait until you’re better.” With your reprimand completed, you pick up the soup and bring the spoon to his lips. He obediently drinks some and he looks so adorable wrapped in your blankets with messy bed hair that you have to look away. You’ll have to wash those sheets to get rid of any sick germs once he’s well enough to go home and you can probably sleep on the couch in the meantime. You probably could have sent him home but at least at your place you can make sure he’s actually taking proper care of him self.

“What if it can’t wait?” He asks suddenly. His expression is a little hazy, likely due to the delirium induced by his fever. You blink.

“Honestly, I don’t know what’s so important that it can’t wait until you’re better, Jin, but I think you should stop whining and just rest. Now finish this soup.” You command and once more he obediently and docilely allows you to feed him another spoonful.

“It’s not fair, though,” he complains, rather than falling silent like you had requested. You resist the urge to roll your eyes.

“What’s not fair, Jin?” You ask. While you are secretly thrilled to be able to look after him in the way he always looks after his friends, you’re still working on the whole patience and kindness thing and he’s being a little annoying.

“Why did I have to get sick today, of all days? Right when I was going to-“ He aborts his sentence halfway through, interestingly enough. You think the flush from fever that sits high on his cheeks may darken but it is hard to tell. It is enough to ignite your curiosity, however.

“When you were going to what?” You ask. Ever since Jin had asked you to keep today free, you had admittedly been burning with curiosity about what it is he has to tell you. You had put it on the back burner when he’d shown up to your house on the verge of passing out, but he keeps bringing it up. What could he possibly have to say to you?

“It’s nothing... You know, you don’t have to take care of me like this.” He points out. You shrug and bite back a smile.

“Well, you don’t have to drive Jungkook to his samba lessons but that’s never stopped you from doing so.” You point out. Jin chuckles at your retort but it quickly results in a coughing fit. You lean back, narrowly avoiding the spray of soup, before reaching for your bedside table to pass him a tissue. He accepts it gratefully.

“This sucks so much.” He rasps. “I had such a fun day planned for us too.”

“Were we going to pick up Hoseok’s car from the mechanic and then help Jimin vacuum his place for that work party he’s planning on holding?” You ask, and to your credit there is only a touch of sarcasm in your voice.

Surprisingly, Jin looks a little offended at your playful jibe.

“For your information,” He says haughtily. “We were going to go to the zoo together.”

That gets your attention.

“The zoo?” You question. “Why? Did Taehyung want us to pick up a toy for his nephew or something?”

Jin shakes his head.

“No! I just wanted to spend the day with you. I thought it would be fun.” He points out with a pathetic sniffle. Were you a stronger woman you would have resisted the goofy smile that crosses your face, but alas, you are not. Still, you are a woman of reason and if Jin is taking you out on something that closely resembles an actual date, something is very, very wrong.

“Are you dying?” You ask him, unable to keep the concern from your voice.

“What? No! Why would you even ask that?” Jin asks and the outrage in his voice is so straining that he breaks into another coughing fit.

“Because you’re exhibiting very unusual behaviour. Whatever it is you need to tell me must be very scary, very bad news.” You tell him solemnly.

Jin watches you incredulously for a long moment like he can’t quite believe what he’s hearing.

“Wait... I thought we were just playing dumb to keep the surprise up, but... Do you actually have no idea what I wanted to tell you?” He asks, and there is a surprisingly amount of horror in his voice. “Please tell me you’re not really that dense-“

“Jin,” you cut him off, a little offended, but he continues on, undeterred.

“You mean this wasn’t just us playing around? You were just gonna keep pretending that you aren’t in love with me?” He asks and your eyes go wide and your heart drops into your stomach.

“I-“ you begin but you don’t know how to continue the sentence considering you suddenly feel like the ground is crumbling beneath you. “How long have you-“

“A long time! I’ve been pretending not to know but it’s honestly exhausting and we could’ve been dating right now if you weren’t so dense!” He complains.

...

...what?

“We could be... dating?” You echo, sounding out the words like they are a foreign language and they might as well have been. This is not the direction you anticipated this conversation going in.

“Yes! That’s what I wanted to tell you! And I had this whole wonderful date planned and it was going to be amazing and romantic and I was going to make it official but then I woke up with a stupid cold this morning and I-“ He rants but your brain is clearly working at a slower rate than his.

“Does this mean... you like me?” You interrupt incredulously. Jin just gapes at you.

“Unbelievable!” He cries accusingly. “I knew you were dense but I didn’t know you were that dense.”

When you show no signs of comprehension or higher brain function he continues his rant.

“Yes I like you! I know I should have made the first move months ago and look, that’s on me for being a coward, but I also thought you knew how I felt and were just waiting for me to make a decision! I know you have the emotional processing capacity of a toddler but still! I was not subtle by any means!” He laments, and your face flushes red. He pauses upon seeing your furious expression.

Unexpectedly, he grins.

“What?” You snap, and his grin widens.

“Nothing. You’re just cute. Of course you would get mad over me calling you dense and complete miss the fact that I’m literally asking you out.” He says with a chuckle which turns into an unattractive sneeze. “A romantic date wouldn’t have suited us anyway. What do you say, (Y/N)? Be my girlfriend?” He sniffles in an attempt to maintain his dignity.

And honestly, if you didn’t have it so bad for him you would have just said no to spite him but you don’t want to take the risk. Not when being his girlfriend is something you’ve wanted for so long. Yes, maybe you get insecure because he is just as nice to others as he is to you, and maybe you don’t know where you stand with him sometimes, just like his ex did. And yes maybe the way he’s asked you out is a touch obnoxious. But you like him. You like him so much it hurts sometimes. You like that he wakes up early to make Yoongi breakfast and you like how he keeps sugar free sweets stored in his pantry for you and you like that Hoseok’s girlfriend could call him for a lift when Hoseok’s car broke down and he was out of the country. You like Jin, and you absolutely want to be his girlfriend. You turn your head towards him, realising you have yet to answer his question, only to find him staring at you with the most peculiarly soft expression on his face.

“(Y/N)?” He prompts gently, still anxiously awaiting your answer.

You turn your face away because you can’t bear to make eye contact as you say the words.

“Only if you promise to take me on a real date, not one where we sit in the dentist’s office while Hobi gets a root canal.”

“Deal.” Is his answer and then he promptly breaks into a coughing fit.

[shadowluver1242]

I finished “The Life and Times of Scrooge McDuck”

I read the full 12 chapters, plus the “Companion” section that had bonus stories in between the chapters, and “The Last Sled to Dawson”, “The Dream of a Lifetime”, and “A Letter From Home.” 

This has to be my favorite comic series I’ve read so far. Not just because it’s Scrooge, but there’s so much heart and emotion put into it and you’re able to follow the story so easily (which for me is hard as I get easily distracted and forget where I’m at). But this story kept my attention and made me want to keep going to the next chapter, every night I thought “just one more, just one more!” I absolutely loved the story. If you want a more in depth review chapter by chapter, read below. (SPOILERS) 

Again, thank you so much for who ever first made me find this (I actually can’t remember but it was probably a mix of everyone) as well as the album that made the story SO MUCH BETTER. Listening to the music while reading the chapter associated, really made you feel like you were in the story with the characters. I highly recommend reading this comic while listening to the music if any of you have not already. If anyone needs links or more info, feel free to ask!

This part will be a chapter by chapter review/my thoughts (some chapters might be merged together if they have similar topics).

“Of Ducks, Dimes, and Destinies”: I wasn’t sure what to expect going into this, but apparently this chapter was the intro, though it’s more like a AU of sorts. I thought it was cute though seeing Magica out of her element. My favorite part of it had to be her not recognizing young 10 yr old Scrooge while confusing Fergus for the rich old duck. But in her defense, they do look a lot alike.

“The Last of The Clan McDuck”: Now the story really begins! I wanted to get more history on Scrooge so that was one of the main reasons I wanted to read this series. It was actually a bit of a surprise to see the pampered, penny-pincher a humbled, poor and very sweet boy. Seeing how he turned into almost a completely different person is a bit sad really, but at least we know in his later years some of that sweet, caring side is still present. I admire Scrooge’s bravery in how willingly he left his family and the only life he knew for uncertainty and possibly danger at only 13 years old. He certainly matured very fast and unfortunately that forced his childhood to end at an early age.

“The Master of the Mississippi”: This was probably one of my least favorite chapters if I’m being honest. It was fun seeing a teenage Scrooge adapting in his new life in America and Uncle Pothole was certainly an interesting character! Plus seeing the Beagle Boys’ origins was interesting as well.

“The Buckaroo of the Badlands,” “The Cowboy Captain of the Cutty Sark”, “The Raider of the Copper Hill,” Also “The Vigilante of Pizen Bluff”: So all of these chapters are in the “Wild West” portion of Scrooge’s life; his teenage years and early twenties. Seeing Scrooge already fighting for his fortune and failing at every turn was almost surprising in that he always seems to succeed in life. I was so convinced he’d strike it rich on the Copper Hill, but fate seemed to have other plans for him. However at this point in his life he’s still staying true to his roots and vowing to earn his fortune honestly. (But to be fair he does get $10,000. And back then that’s got to have been like a million dollars now a days.) I’d also wondered how he’d get along with animals, and it turns out he’s a real Disney princess. He gives love and respect to animals and they love him in return.

“The New Laird of Castle McDuck”: NERVE RACKING. Not only do the McDuck’s risk losing the ancestral home to their arch nemesis, but Scrooge DIES. (or just gets knocked out?) Anyway he goes to McDuck heaven where he almost stays before finally getting another chance (for becoming the stingiest person to ever live). He ends up using all the money he got from the Copper Hill to pay for the McDuck Castle. Plus we also see Scrooge use his specs for the very first time, though it’s only for reading.

“The Terror of the Transvaal”:  Ah Flintheart, you were a scumbag before Scrooge came into the picture. Scrooge is a lion whisperer apparently, and he makes fun of Flintheart in front of the entire town before throwing him in jail, making a lifelong enemy.

“The Dreamtime Duck of the Never Never”: I was excited for this one. Love that Australian Outback theme! Scrooge rides on a camel head, which is perfect. I still love seeing how much animals love and trust Scrooge. He’s started to become less trusting of people due to being tricked at every turn, and therefore is a bit skeptical of the shaman in the desert. However seeing the dream, or prophesy of sorts, come true (which was super cool btw), it starts his admiration of history and architecture. Scrooge almost took that giant Opal that could easily have made him rich, but that would have been dishonest, and Scrooge decides against it (a bit begrudgingly). I’m so happy he got his dime back, it was worrying seeing him lose hope that his fortune would never come. He’s worked so hard and to give up now would be devastating. Thankfully he was inspired and his story finally started to look up.

“The King of the Klondike”, “The Prisoner of White Agony Creek”, “Hearts of the Yukon”, “The Last Sled to Dawson”: ...no words. I knew these would be my favorite sections. Yukon Scrooge, upper 20′s - early 30′s - in his prime, Scrooge. The beginning of his fortune. The beginning of Goldie. GOLDIE. Where do I even start?! Whew, this is going to be long. First of all, the whole ordeal Scrooge had to go through just to get to White Agony Creek was ridiculous. Finally he finds where the gold should be, but it’s not quite that easy. Everyone in Dawson mocks him endlessly for not spending any money on fun, which is completely unfair. The absolute worst part is when that mean old pig kidnaps him and chains him to the smokestacks of the boat. (Seriously this boy gets knocked out so much I’m surprised he doesn’t have a brain injury) The men mock him and then read the two only letters he’s ever gotten from his family out loud, one of which is from his mother who says they’re falling behind on payments for the castle, and the next...his father informing him that his mother has passed away. The men even mock him in his mother’s death. And Scrooge...freaking pulls a Sampson and pulls the smokestacks until they collapse onto the boat, throws a grand piano through a stained glass window, beats up any and all the men who dare fight him, and then drags the pig’s listless body through the main road in town for all to see until he can throw him to the mercy of the ‘law’ in the area. Then comes Goldie, he kidnaps her, and brings her back to his home for stealing his goose egg nugget (the biggest gold nugget ever) to show her how hard a miner has to work. They stay together alone in the wilderness for a whole month. My gosh was this chapter full of sexual tension. I’m such a die-hard Scroldie shipper now I can’t even deny it. Eventually the two part their ways, but end up meeting again in the near future when Goldie saves Scrooge from losing his claim (in a roundabout way). Then we get to see Scrooge’s last trip to Dawson before leaving the Yukon and moving on with his fortune. He loses his sled and has to return 50 years later to get it with Donald and the boys. The only thing of importance in the sled was old memories, but it was worth the fight for old Scroogey. This section was definitely the best, but molds Scrooge’s rough and tough attitude. 

“The Billionaire of Dismal Downs”: After more than 20 years, Scrooge is finally coming home to Dismal Downs successful, he’s a billionaire. The whole town has come to greet him and as soon as he shows up, they give him a big round of...tomatoes and insults hurling at him. After all he’s done this is how he’s treated??! His wild temper quickly flares and Fergus is surprised at how his son has changed, as well as the town who thought he was such a nice boy. The town people believe he no longer belongs in Scotland. After a quick visit to his mother’s grave insert sobbing here Scrooge decides to participate in the games to show how much he belongs, he even wears a kilt! Now Scrooge should have dominated this, however he’s completely forgotten the rules, and therefore disqualifies himself almost every time. A young boy named Scottie tries to show him the ropes, however fails miserably. Eventually they return to the castle where his sisters make fun of Scrooge’s lock of golden hair hurr hurr and they all decide to move to Duckburg, America, that is, except Fergus who says he’s too old to move again. The chapter ends with ghost Fergus (who’s passed away in the night) and ghost Downy waving goodbye to their children before joining McDuck heaven. I literally cried in this chapter.

“The Invader of Fort Duckburg”, and “The Sharpie of the Culebra Cut”: Some more important chapters, but not extremely interesting in my opinion. We see the founding of Duckburg and the Junior Woodchucks, as well as the Panama Canal and more of Scrooge suffering from his sisters, who make him wear his specs full time after he repeatedly makes mistakes due to his failing eyesight.

“The Empire-Builder from Calisota”: Sigh. We see the deep fall of Scrooge’s morals. He visits his sisters, whom he hasn’t seen in quite a while, and takes them to Africa where he’s working on his current dealings with the natives. Instead of making fair trades like in the past, he uses cunning tricks to minimize his costs in buying the diamond mines he seeks. His sisters criticize him, but he brushes them off. He moves on to a voo-doo native tribe (his first mistake) who doesn’t want to sell. After being humiliated in front of his kin, he goes into town and recruits several people to help him burn down the village and destroy everything in sight while his sisters return to camp, ashamed of their brother. Scrooge then puts on a disguise and ‘rescues’ the clan leader who previously embarrassed him, and tricks him into signing over his land. This is far from the kind, humble, honest boy we knew in the beginning. He returns back to camp, triumphant, to gloat to his sisters only to find they’ve left him. There’s a lone note remaining saying he’s not the man they used to know and to come back once he changes his ways. Scrooge is initially enraged, feeling betrayed. However as he argues with himself, his father’s voice comes into his head, reminding him how he wanted to make his fortune honestly, and has now just committed his first (and only) dishonest trade. Scrooge realizes what he’s done, and as he tries to run after his sisters, the witch doctor returns and casts a curse on him to have a zombie attack him. However Scrooge is still in disguise, and quickly makes himself look normal, which tricks the zombie. However for the next several years the zombie would haunt him and occasionally show up. In Scrooge’s quest to apologize to his sisters, he makes many sidetracks in making his fortune. The zombie even causes the crash of the Titanic that Scrooge was riding on. (seriously everything is his fault) Finally, after 27 years, he returns to Duckburg to stay. His family has heard he was coming and decided to put aside their differences and be a family once again, even bringing the young Donald and Della. However Scrooge has completely changed, for the worse, and completely ignores his family, eventually chasing them out of his life, for good, but not before the young and feisty Donald can give him a kick in the rear.

“The Richest Duck in the World”: Feels. All feels. We finally see Scrooge as the miserable old man we know him as. Alone and bitter and cut off from everyone. But he becomes too lonely one Christmas and invites Donald and the boys up to the mansion, if only to show them the wealth and future inheritance when he’s gone. It’s as if Scrooge is expecting to die fairly soon, and he’s completely given up on everything. The bin is shut down, he’s not making any money or traveling anymore, he doesn’t leave his house, and he hasn’t even swam in his money in years. He really has just given up. But the boys manage to inspire him, in a way that they literally make him so angry he just can’t take it anymore and eventually returns the swift kick to Donald. Afterwards we see rejuvenated Scrooge - though still elderly, he feels full of life once again. Start DuckTales story... 

“The Dream of a Lifetime”: I just had to read this because of the jumps in Scrooge’s dreams through his lifetime. It was adorable seeing young Scrooge, especially 10yr old Scrooge cussing out his nephew Donald for interrupting his dreams. Then on top of all that it ends with Scrooge finally reaching Goldie on the burning stage (which never happened), and the blushinggg hnnghhh and then freaking Donald sitting there watching the whole thing, just yes.

“A Letter From Home”: I had to read this one simply because I had read that Scrooge and Matilda make up. Boy howdy was this an emotional roller coaster, starting with Scrooge visiting his parents’ grave. Tears. Literal tears. Then Matilda wants nothing to do with him, that surprised me a bit considering how sweet and soft-spoken she was when she was younger. Plus she breaks the news about how Fergus never wanted Scrooge to find the treasure and calls him a bad son. My gosh my heart is aching for Scrooge at this point. The antagonist suddenly pulls a gun on Matilda, and Scrooge jumps in front of her without hesitation. Thank goodness the gun ‘misfires’. That definitely changed things between the two. Finally we get to see the interaction we’ve been waiting for. Scrooge and Matilda finally yell talk things out, and somewhat uncharacteristically, Scrooge cries and pleads for forgiveness. However, Matilda finally gets to hear Scrooge’s side and realizes just what he’s been through as well. They find a letter to Scrooge from Fergus, who actually did want Scrooge to find the treasure, and told him he and his mother were proud of him. It was one of the only letters Scrooge ever received from his parents, and he never, since the day they died, knew they were proud of him. sobs

That was a lot longer than necessary but even if you guys only read the sections you want that works. Thank you again!

[bigjohnsadventuresintravel]

Our Bicycle Ride Through Amsterdam

To begin, I must confess that the title of this post is a bit misleading. Our bicycle ride through Amsterdam makes up only a very small portion of the photographs you will see below. With 1.3 bicycles per person in Amsterdam, it just seemed easier for Rebecca and I to do most of our exploring on foot.  Not only is Amsterdam the capital, it is the most populated city in the Netherlands. Its name derives from Amstelredamme, indicative of the city’s origin around a dam in the river Amstel. Just like Venice, Italy and Bruges, Belgium, Amsterdam is a city of beautiful canals and extraordinary history. I know you’ll experience a desire to visit this city yourself once you view some of our pictures.

  Our rental car, a Fiat Panda, fits neatly inside a mini-parking space alongside the canal.

Although driving in Amsterdam was nowhere near as perilous as driving in Rome, I was more than eager to park my rental car and leave it there for the duration of my stay. When driving to our Airbnb, I experienced a very close call when I nearly ran over a bicyclist with my Fiat Panda. I didn’t feel too bad for long though; it wasn’t more than an hour later when a bicyclist nearly ran me over on foot.

The view outside the window of our Airbnb in Amsterdam.

Our little studio apartment was centrally located in the Jordaan neighborhood and was in easy-walking distance to Amsterdam’s most popular sites and attractions.

  It appears the owner of our Airbnb rental was a fan of Marilyn Monroe.

  Big John walks his bicycle through Amsterdam’s Dam Square towards the Royal Palace.

One of the things many Americans do not know about the Netherlands is that they are a constitutional monarchy, as well as a parliamentary democracy.  Resting in the middle of Dam Square sits the Royal Palace, Amsterdam. This beautiful structure is the official reception palace of King Willem-Alexander. The Palace also hosts other royal receptions, such as the annual New Year’s reception, dinners and prize ceremonies. Visitors are allowed to tour the palace during the majority of the year.

  Rebecca stops for a break just outside the Voyagers Coffeeshop and Hotel.

In Amsterdam, coffeeshops are alcohol-free (and usually coffee-free) establishments that sell marijuana, hashish, and cannabis for recreational use. Amsterdam has a very liberal soft-drug policy and the city is widely known as the cannabis capital of the world. The are over 170 legally-operated coffeehouses in Amsterdam.

The Basilica of Saint Nicolas in the Old Centre district of Amsterdam

Amsterdam has numerous churches and cathedral for visitors to admire and worship in. The Basilica of Saint Nicholas is located in the Old Centre district of Amsterdam.  It is very close to Amsterdam’s main railway station and is the city’s primary Roman Catholic church. The architecture was a spectacular sight to behold.

    I told Rebecca that she should safely stay within eyeshot of my bald spot when cycling through the streets of Amsterdam. She informed me that under those guidelines, she could straggle at least two neighborhoods behind me and not lose sight of it.

  No matter where you turn in Amsterdam, you’re likely to find more bicycles than people.

      Chocolate is just one more reason to love Amsterdam.

  Rebecca is hoisting up anchors outside the Teun Hotel Restaurant.

    There are some words, regardless of language, that just sound funny. Rebecca was pretty amused with all the signs that read “Boomwortels”. Judging by the picture on the signs, I was pretty clueless that “Boomwortels” was the Dutch word for tree roots. I honestly thought the signs were alerting me to a set of carefully concealed double-speedbumps.

  They say a picture adds twenty pounds to your frame. I’ll just blame the other twenty pounds on good ole’ Dutch beer!

  The Van Speyk, pictured in the background, is a classic Amsterdam style brasserie that serves traditional French and Dutch cuisine. The building dates back to 1659 and is located in the the old warehouse district, between the Dam square and the Grand Central Station.

    They say that the prettiest girls in all of Amsterdam can be found on Prinsengracht Centrum!

    I love how she knows to wait for the “walk” light before stepping out into the street. I could learn a lot from this woman!

  The Atlas scuplture affixed to the top of the Royal Palace signifies Amsterdam’s place in the world.

    The Amsterdam Circle Line offers luxury canal tours at affordable prices.

  Tourists stand outside the Anne Frank Home on the Prinsengracht canal.

Anne Frank hid inside a secret upstairs annex of this structure for a period of two years before finally being discovered by Nazis and shipped off to a concentration camp. During her time in the attic, the young girl kept a diary detailing her daily life as she and her family relied on faith, love and hope to keep them alive. Tragically, Anne Frank’s diary would be the only part of her that survived the holocaust. The Nazis were believed to have exterminated approximately 6,000,000 Jews during the duration of World War II.

In memory of Anne Frank (1929-1945)

  Rebecca standing outside the door of the Anne Frank House.

    Once the swelling went down in her feet, she realized he had bought them a just few sizes too big. She never listens to me!

      This is another view of the canal just below our lofty studio apartment.

  You can’t be Dutch if you don’t like cheese!

    If you’re a bacon-lover like me, make sure you visit the Grillroom Twins in Amsterdam for the best sandwich that money can buy!

  My heart flutters like a Dutch windmill every time she comes near (That may not be a good thing. I probably should get that checked out).

    The setting sun painted a stunning picture of this Amsterdam canal.

    Nightfall on the streets of Amsterdam.

  She knows all too well how to work her voodoo magic on me!

    Selfies are only good when you have nobody else around to snap the picture… or when you have a pretty girl to male them look a whole lot better!

    While exploring the Spuistraat, Centrum district, Big John poses in front of a house built in 1627. 

    Rebecca needs to quit eyeballing my food and just eat her salad. This small snack has to last me until dinner!

    Don’t hate!  It’s hard being an international man of mystery without owning a good pair of shades!

       Whomever rented this bike before me must’ve been over five feet tall! I had to stop and lower the seat.

  I wonder if she knows how madly in love I am with her. Maybe one day I will get the courage to tell her just how I really feel.

  She’s into the tough guys, what can I say?

  Big John and the empty suit hang out in Marnix Park.

  I suddenly just realized that I have the same stance in every picture. Come to think of it, I don’t believe I’ve ever really fully extended my left leg…. interesting. 

    Believe it or not, the waters of Amsterdam are home to an amazing variety of fish. There are perch, bream, pike, carp, eel, rudd, mullet, and their highly-prized zander. I highly doubt that you would need a boat though if you planned on casting into this canal!

  I wish my job involved making waffles every day!

  The best tulips in Holland can be found throughout the city of Amsterdam. 

    Rebecca poses in front of the Cafe Hoppe, a charming Dutch pub dating all the way back to 1670.

    These are actually popup urinals that come up out of the street. I saw these in use in both the Netherlands and Belgium. Talk about culture shock!

      “Excuse me Ma’am, do you know where the weight room is?”

  Rebecca outside the Hard Rock Cafe, Amsterdam.

  Big John poses in from of the iconic I AM AMSTERDAM sign.

    The Rijksmuseum is a Dutch national museum dedicated to extraordinary art and history of Amsterdam.

  That is one very large game of chess!

      Sitting alone on that bench, feeling like the Netherlands’ version of Forrest Gump.

      Amsterdam had several fascinating murals in and around the city, like the one I captured here on the wall of this bank.

She looked so prim and proper riding her bicycle. She’s such a sweetheart!

  This is the section of our tour where picture-taking was just a bit too risque! You’ll just have to trust me when I say there’s a lot in the Red Light District that wouldn’t go over well on a family-friendly blog such as this one.

I can’t believe I flew all the way to Amsterdam to buy some assless leather chaps and they were completely sold out… Joking, they had plenty in stock!

    My cutie-pie posing in front of Café de Zeevaart, a traditional Dutch Bar situated in the heart of the Red Light District. 

    The National Monument on Dam Square was erected in 1956  to commemorate the casualties of World War II and other armed conflicts.

    You can barely make out Rebecca as she tries to hide from me behind that pole.

  Just the sign alone at Coco’s Outback was enough to entice me to enter inside.

  Thorbeckeplein square is located right right in the center of Amsterdam and is well known for their diverse eateries and lively nightclubs.

  Rebecca pedals her bicycle through a crowded portion of Chinatown, Amsterdam.

  I just couldn’t go home home without first getting a picture in front of the Heineken brewing factory.

  For me, the greatest thing about travel adventures is experiencing them with the one you love.

      Did I mention that I really love a good Dutch cheese?

    The Dutch Delicacy takes the grilled-cheese sandwich to a whole new level!

    I would travel to the ends of the earth with this girl…. actually, I think I already have!

After spending three fun-filled days in Amsterdam, this beautiful lady and I hit the road and headed out towards the Rhine. We were off to Germany and then to Belgium where more adventure was sure to await us. Life is great when you have the perfect travel companion by your side!

  A lone Dutch windmill on the outskirts of Amsterdam

I hope you enjoyed my post and thank you for taking the time to visit bigjohnsadventuresintravel.com. Please feel free to explore the rest of my blog site and leave a comment or two so I know you were here.

  Happy travels,

Big John

[cavitymagazine]

Chiara had spent the hot day sending him racist memes and naked pictures of herself smoking weed with captions like “use me” and “punish me Daddy”, so when he finished work he walked through the evening heat to her apartment on Sussex Road. They had sex in the degrading style favoured by many of the fascist women he’s slept with. He spanked her and called her “my Italian slut” and she growled “hit me” with strands of hair stuck to her face from the heat and afterwards they slept until the fingers of late-evening chill reached in the open window and woke them up to the twilight sounds of eating and drinking in the outdoor seating of the restaurants on the street below her apartment. He put back on his work clothes. She pulled a Sea Shepherd t-shirt down over the nordic tattoos on her ribs. They went out into the last light to smoke weed.

They sat side by side on the fire escape, six floors up. She lit a joint and they passed it between them. They inhaled the weed and the smell of the spring evening and the promise of summer you get in April that’s always better than the summer that comes. Two Chinese lanterns drifted like UFOs across the sunset.

“These things kill birds.”, she said, stretching her t-shirt over her knees.

The smoke from the joint rose into the pre-night sky. He thought he could hear the sea from miles away where the scattered lights of the skyline stopped. A breeze ruffled through the trees in the car park below. The waving leaves fanned up the sounds of the city again—a car starting, a gate closing, a dog spooked by something in the almost-dark, the offbeat steps of someone walking with keys their pocket, a barge lapping down the canal, words drifting back and forth between a drawn out group of dawdling friends, the lonely drumming of another office block being built overnight.

He was a journalist. He was investigating the investment funds who were taking over the Dublin property market—Blackstone, Cerberus, IRES Reit, Kennedy Wilson. He thought of them as an invasive, subspecies of money. He looked down from the fire escape at that crime scene of a city and imagined dark movements of money running along in the streets like eels along the bottom of a lake. He smoked and watched the dark sway as the funds moved more blocks of apartments onto their balance sheets. He watched as rent left silently from drowsy family kitchens and passed through walls and borders and oceans and into the bank accounts of corporate landlords. He imagined houses being repossessed by shadowy security firms. He thought of homes being turned into AirBnBs and of tourists appearing in them overnight like ghosts.

He could see money more clearly in the daytime when it took its human form, as accountants, property managers, bankers, surveyors, solicitors, former politicians. Or as men in balaclavas—sabotaging protests, infiltrating movements, breaking down desperately barricaded doors, putting families into the street with their lives in black bags on the ground beside them, and disappearing again into the white vans he thinks might be following him.

They finished the joint as the spring night fell over Dublin like the shade from a tree. A man stood alone in the car park below, staring up at them. They went back inside.

She changed into her pyjamas: a hoodie which had “don’t need sex because capitalism fucks me every day” written on it. She was on big money though. She worked for a cyber security company. She said she would rather be a housewife and be “paid by a man to lounge around in lingerie”. She rejected as “girl-boss feminism” and “peak neoliberalism” any attempt people made to praise her for being a Woman in STEM. She refused all invitations to speak at conferences with names like ‘The Women Disrupting Tech’, ‘Girls Who Code’, ‘Hacking the Patriarchy’ and ‘Queering the Algorithm’. Her Tinder bio read: “dominate me in the bedroom, not in the workplace”.

For a man like him, a Marxist-Leninist and occasional Maoist Third Worldist, there was something so appealing about a woman who so angrily rejected liberal feminism. She was a tech fascist who believed in the utopian vision of the early internet. She was a tech fascist who believed that Europe was diverse enough a hundred years ago. She had moved to Ireland because the tech industry here pays so much. She had moved to Ireland because it was the whitest place left in Western Europe. She had access to sensitive information and she was passing it on to him because she believed all information should be free. She had access to sensitive information and she was passing it on to him because it would hurt the “Jewish conspiracy of global finance”.

She took a USB from her weed box and handed it to him as he got ready to leave. She pulled the curtains across the open window and wrote on a post-it note:

“This is big”

“What is it?” He wrote back.

“Check on this when you get home.” She wrote.

The post-it notes fell around her feet. She put a new laptop into his bag.

“It hasn’t been contaminated by the internet, don’t connect it.” She wrote.

“Thanks.” He wrote.

“Imagine you’re being watched.” She wrote.

“Am I?” He said aloud.

She underlined ‘imagine’ with three lines.

He left her place. The night was so beautifully laundered by the spring air that he started walking back to Cabra under the smell of the new-born leaves. There are always a few nights like that in April, when the first heat intoxicates the city and the streets sway with that first drink feeling of a good thing beginning.

He turned onto a quiet, cooling street. A white van was driving behind him. He walked. He listened. Everything sounded pre-recorded on a soundstage like in a film noir from the fifties: a bike ticking by; a curtain beating against an open window; his footsteps; his breathing; his heartbeat. He was sure it was the same white van that had been following him for weeks. He watched it as it passed. He checked for alleyways or driveways he could disappear into. He turned around and walked back towards the busy safety of Mespil Road. The van went by again. His heart panicked as it passed. On Mespil Road he put his hand out for a taxi. He sat into the backseat and closed the door.

It’s interesting, psychologically speaking, the driver said eventually, the way you tried to open your door so soon after you got in.

Don’t you think?

I had a chap in the car last week. Drove him all the way and he never tried that door once.

Do you know why?

Control.

Control.

He didn’t want to admit to himself that he couldn’t get out. He could’ve tried the door. He could have been on his way. But he let me take him without even trying to escape. Just sat back there chatting. Playing it cool, you know.

Interesting isn’t it? Psychology.

I’m interested in that kind of thing. 

The mind.

Now you’ve got the opposite problem. You took one look at me in me sunglasses and thought to yourself fuck this I’m away. Sunglasses at night, you says to yourself, what’s with this fella?

But now.

You know the door is locked.

I know you know the door is locked.

You know I know you know the door is locked.

I know you know I know the door is locked.

Interesting isn’t it?

Psychology.

Hear that? Last train going over the river. Anyone on that train, coming into town Thursday midnight, they’ve a story to tell. More interesting than the stuff you’re writing now.

We’ve a few journalists with us. They do well. Decent money, a few stories when you need it.

Someone your age, in all seriousness, needs to start thinking about the future.

Planning.

Your rent is what…€700 a month?

Rent is money down the drain.

Down the drain.

Stoneybatter. Some lovely pubs around here.

Look at that lad. Not from Mayo is he.

I was over in Jamaica for a while but. Working for himself. Great country. Lovely beaches. Good weather. Great place to do business. That’s why he’s there of course. Lot easier to deal with people such as yourself out there. No messing around. You want something done—bang—you just pay the right man and it’s done.

Get in the way of progress and—bang.

No messing.

You know who runs this country? You know who you should be investigating?

The unions. The people who contribute nothing. The bloated public sector.

This thing you’re looking into. For example, classic example. The government sold the properties at such a low price because the fund had businessmen working for them, and they were negotiating, think about it, with who? With civil servants and politicians. That’s the whole story. Write it if you want. Public sector versus private sector. Private sector wins every time. There were no bribes or anything.

Just pure business acumen.

Free market. Winners and losers. Simple as that.

Roads are quiet out here.

Dark houses.

You’re probably hoping your roommates are home. Housemates I suppose, should be called.

You’re 36 yeah?

If you don’t mind me saying, you should be putting down roots. Should be saving.

You must spend, what, 50 quid a week on weed. Cut that out and you’d have what…52 weeks in a year…5x5 is 25 that’s…you’d have about €2,600 extra in your pocket. You’d be surprised how quickly it adds up.

Honestly.

There’s no one home tonight by the way.

The accountant is in Frankfurt.

Midwife’s at her fella’s.

Now this is you isn’t it?

You make my job interesting I’ll give you that. Lot of overtime.

160...162…164…66…68, now.

Before you go.

I was watching ‘Narcos’ last night. On Netflix. It’s a series, not a film. Very interesting. It’s about Pablo Escobar. Colombian drug lord. He gives people a choice right. “Silver or lead” he says. In spanish. Worth a watch. On Netflix.

Now, 13.90 is the damage.

Thank you sir.

And 5 is 18.90 and one is 19.90 and 10 cent is 20 and that’s yours back.

The driver reset the meter, turned on the roof light and drove away past the night-coloured houses.

His house was silent. He opened the door. He stared into the hallway. He sniffed the air. A truck dipped into a pothole on the main road. The noise of it shocked him into slamming the front door behind him. The noise of that scared him too. He turned on the light in the hallway. He turned on the light in the narrow kitchen. He turned on the light in the dusty living room. With downstairs lit up it was like the dark outside was staring in the window at him. He took a knife from the draining board. He held it in front of him like a gun and walked upstairs. He stopped after every step on the carpeted stairs to let the creaking wood underneath his foot go silent.

He went into his room knife first. The window was open. The room had been brushed clean by the bristles of spring breeze which had been blowing in since he left that morning. He turned on his desk lamp. He rolled a joint in its light. He smoked out the window. In the time he was in the taxi dew had fallen like snow and like snow it had shocked the small gardens and the empty suburban streets around his house into silence. His neighbour’s gardens were abandoned and embalmed, full of toys, bikes, paddling pools, footballs, sun loungers and kitchen chairs; like the curtain had just gone down at the end of a play.

She texted him.

“I think we should stop doing this.”

He put the USB into the laptop she had given him.

“Ok.” He replied.

He typed in the password. She had copied all of the investment fund’s emails and their slack chats and their bank accounts and their internal payments system.

“Can I come over?” She texted him.

“Ok.” He replied.

He read some of the emails. They talked about bribing politicians and government officials so they could get all those apartment blocks and offices and housing estates cheap. All that property and debt the government bought after the banks collapsed. He made notes. He wrote on post it notes and attached them to the wall. His joint went out and ashed on his notes.

He was tired but didn’t want to sleep alone. Maybe it was the shock of the taxi, or the way she completely surrendered to him during sex, or the way she quoted Lacan when they lay together afterwards, maybe it was his receding hairline which he checked every night, watching it as if it was a clock ticking towards the end, or maybe it was the sounds on the stairs he searched his brain to explain away.

She opened his bedroom door.

“How did you get in?” He asked her.

“Hi to you also.” She said, sitting on the side of the bed, taking her leather boots off.

“Your housemate let me. He always wears sunglasses at night?”

“What did he say?”

“He said you were upstairs. And then he sat on the kitchen with a glass of water.”

“One second.”

He went downstairs and into the kitchen with the knife out in front of him. A glass was on its side on the table, rolling back and forth. Water dripped from the table onto the floor. It pooled by his feet. He waited. The sky lightened as he waited. The house fell into dawn. Morning heat rose in waves from the damp garden. The joint wore off. He checked all the doors. He went back upstairs.

She was asleep. She had written ‘slut’ in lipstick across her chest. He smoked out the window. The good weather stirred outside. He heard a van parking and wondered if it was white. She woke up.

“Rape me.” She whispered, sleepily.

The sound of birds singing came in the open window. Like every haunted man, the singing reminded him of sleep.

[The Man in the Black Pyjamas is an Irish writer based in Bogotá. He has been previously published in ‘The Irish Times’, ‘The Moth Magazine’, ‘Cassandra Voices’, ‘Number Eleven Magazine’, ‘Deep Water Literary Journal’, ‘Increature Magazine’, ‘Cold Coffee Stand’ and ‘Headstuff Magazine’. He won second place in the Fish International Short Story Competition in 2016. He tweets at @pyjamas_black.]

[oajpw5f3-blog]

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