#honestly these feel so repetitive i am glad i am done

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hi! I’ve been reading your stuff for a while and finally worked up the courage to ask: Are you,,, are you secretly Yana or something? Everything you write but specifically the analyses make so much sense and show such a good understanding of the characters that it’s starting to feel like the realization of those “how I would interact with my fan base if I ever became a famous writer” posts.

Jokes aside (unless?) I honestly don’t think I would still be playing Twisted Wonderland if it wasn’t for your blog. Level locked story is my biggest pet peeve for any video game and I nearly ditched midway through book 2 because of it. Your posts have kept me excited about the characters and the story and now I’m nearly done book 5 (stuck again by the level thing but oh well)

Really I just wanted to thank you for all the amazing writing you do

Heya, hello, hi ^^ Thank you for gathering the courage to share your thought! I know that can feel awkward or overwhelming for some people, so I'm grateful to receive asks like this.

zvsksbjwgehCSfX I’m definitely not Yana, I’m just a casual fan 😂 unless…?/j I tend to hyperfixate and see creative writing and analysis as an outlet to think deeper about what we have + tide me over during the early stretches of TWST when new content and banners were not as consistent as they are now. If other people (like you!) enjoy that, then I’m glad!!

Gacha games like Twisted Wonderland take a lot of time and investment (with fairly repetitive gameplay), so it's normal and totally okay for people to feel bored or burnt out by it. I'm definitely also someone that wouldn't have been as involved as I am now if I hadn't found a community to get excited about TWST with me. It's nice to have people to bounce off of! I'm happy that I was able to be part of your own TWST journey. Again, thank you for your appreciation!! Wishing you good luck with book 5 and beyond~ 🍀

[hotcocoabombb]

So, I just finished Astro Bot.

I'm gonna get this out of the way immediately: this game is a fucking masterpiece in my eyes. A genuinely flawless game. If you don't wanna read this whole long ass yapfest I wanna just say this upfront. If you own a PS5 and don't own this game, you are doing yourself a disservice. With that out of the way, allow me to glaze the fuck out of this game.

Before I start with the game itself I wanna talk about Production Value because holy shit it is off the fucking charts here. Every inch of this game is fucking gorgeous. Water is so good Mario WiiU would be brought to tears. Particles and physics objects are everywhere, to the point where it feels like Team Asobi was just showing off with what the PS5 was capable of. I have no issues calling it the best looking PS5 game. Sure, God of War or The Last of Us Part 1 may look better technically but Astro Bot's artstyle combined with a locked 60fps that I didn't notice dip once despite the amount of stuff on screen at once pushes it over the edge for me. On top of that, the music is incredible. Every level has a new tune that you'll sometimes just sit down and listen to for a moment before starting a level. Slo-Mo Casino, Crash Site, and Sky Garden are highlights for me but the whole soundtrack is incredibly good.

But that doesn't really mean much if the game kinda sucks, so I am glad to report that Astro Bot might be the best controlling 3D platformer I have ever played. Everything just feels like it has the just right amount of fine tuning. Astro's jump is just right between floaty and weighty, and his hover helps mitigate platforming mistakes without being essentially a get out of jail free card. His attack is basic but you can also damage enemies by hovering, and the game switches it up often enough for it to not feel repetitive. The levels compliment the control perfectly. While Astro Bot is generally a pretty easy game, I don't think that's a bad thing because of how comfortable it feels to play. Everything just feels good. Every time you mess up a jump, it feels like your fault instead of the game's. This rings true even in the face button challenges (which is what im calling them for lack of a better term lol). These little challenges, themed around the Sony face buttons, can be a lot more challenging than the regular game, but they remain fair. Even the final challenge of the game to get the last bot is a fair challenge. The game never resorts to cheap deaths which makes it way more fun than some other "difficult" games. The boss fights are also really good. The wait times between attacks always remained interesting to me because the pace of everything just felt snappy. They never last more than a few minutes and by the time you're done with them they don't overstay their welcome. They're always a nice change of pace from the main game. Also, going for completion never felt like a slog. I got all 301 bots (missing 4 because my playroom file got deleted on accident :/), all puzzle pieces, and all achievements and I was never bored. Just goes to show how incredible the gameplay is.

The story is nothing super complex but I like it for what it is. Basically an Alien just decided to be a jerk and stole the pieces from the PS5 and scattered all the bots and it's up to Astro to fix everything up. Not the most inspired story ever but that's not really an issue imo. The main alien is constantly bullying the CPU of the PS5 and it's honestly really funny to watch the scenes. For a game without any dialogue they really put their all into the story and I personally think they did an amazing job with the story.

Overall, like I said at the beginning of this, Astro Bot is a masterpiece. Everything this game sets out to do, it not only succeeds, but excel's at. This game doesn't have a single bad level or dull moment. I am not kidding when I say I don't even have any dumb nitpicks to muster up. Astro Bot is a perfect game in my eyes and Team Asobi should be goddamn proud of themselves for releasing a game this fucking good.

Astro Bot gets a 10/10 from me. Please go buy and play this game. It's wonderful.

[mysteryanimator]

Watch it here :D

(heads up for any odd grammar, Grammarly cannot save me from my dyslexia)

I was originally not going to do a breakdown of this because a lot of my breakdowns and thought processes were getting really repetitive (also i was getting embarrassed by them HAHSDASHBDS). BUT boy oh boy this time around I can actually go "wait i can yap without being repetitive here, maybe, idk, we never know until i write it out."

STORYBOARD/ANIMATIC:

It was really fun to adapt AquliaofArkham's fic into a visual format! This is the specific section I had set out to visualize!

(Yes I only did thumbs for that section and freeballed the rest whoops, y'all do not follow by example, i didn't think i was getting this far tbh)

When translating this from written to visual, there were some key points I wanted down:

They are really really close to each other and the barrier between each other is SO thin, but the air is still super thick

visual eye breathing room compressed???

Is having stillness a way to convey that ???

We are following Mizrak's POV, ergo focus on what Mizrak is focusing on, where is his mind going

hold shots for longer???

limited movement due to Mizrak's hyperfocus???

Make shots intentionally heavily detailed ???

Zoom into details???

As much as I am passionate about storyboards, I do tend to get ahead of myself and end up locking myself into lots of close ups HAHAH. I like having each shot matter to me a lottttt so i end up reverting to reusing a lot of super common shot archetypes due to their attached meanings (I'd love to attend/watch some workshops on this, but uni ;-; i'll be free soon dwdw).

By the way, you will notice the animation is longer then the timed storyboard/animatic. This is because I retimed to placeholder dialogue (which y'all will NOT HEAR THATS EMBARRASSING, i dont need ppl to hear me yell clatter lol). Fun fact I originally had it in the first storyboard to help me with timing and then removed it half way through? Not sure why I did that, but regardless I came back around and retimed it so that the length of each shot feels believable enough to hold dialogue and has enough time to be visually digested by you guys.

ANIMATION:

This was a doozy, not because I found the animation hard, this time I actually was satisfied-ish with most of the end result and started implementing different approaches to the animation from all kinds of media; which was my issue LOL. My understanding of animation changed midway through. I can super distinctly see two different approaches, probably because I slipped into that naturally while having animated shows/movies while doing this and I can probably pin point to you which shots was influenced by what show.

First all dialogue and walking forward: rewatched TLOVM b4 season 3 dropped, which by this point is already out, (uh also Nocturne. again HAHAH)

WHICH, you'll see here, two different set ups were taken LOL (also oof you're seeing my setup). Personally, I like keeping my animation folders to the utmost minimum (so like the right! Olrox's folder is a whole character, separate moving bits like lips or even earrings will be in that one folder) because scrolling through can get a tad overwhelming and daunting, BUT, Olrox walking forward had so many small moving pieces with different timings that multiple animation folders was the best way to handle itttttt.

I feel like I only really care abt this BUT FILE MANAGEMENT IS IMPORTANT AAA. You should've seen my file management this time last year, actually horrific, but I'm so glad I figured out how to be cleaner, in turn speeding up my process. (which honestly was just thanks to being thrown into a studio environment and going "Oh my god so that's what I should be doing" and picking up things I noticed from other animators, which genuinely my learning comes from picking me up and throwing me into the deep end)

Secondly, Olrox arm and a scrapped walking scene: I was watching Prince of Egypt (literally that whole week, planning to rewatch again lmao), Sinbad, Road to El Dorado, and then work from Modernday James, Toniko Pantoja, Edward Kurchevsky

Fun fact, the very first walking was intended to be animated, and i redid it about four times before scrapping it completely. The first three iterations i didn't save because they were sooo clunky . It made me realize I gotta revisit my principles again I'm rusty (and i do LOLOLOL). I scrapped the anim because it did not flow into the next shot nicely but, It was good practice regardless HAHA

While mentally I feel like none of the shots match each other, they still do have some cohesion to one another

COMPOSITING:

The new thing, finally manually did the edge shadows in CSP HAHAH.

I will say this too, I got really nervous atp about the overall "quality" of the anim + the backgrounds. I was getting super hung up over it because I was alr worried abt the animation due to the safer choices I made (but also, I don't have to reinvent the wheel LMAO). SO, when I got to comping it was like "oh actually its actually fine LOL".

i stayed pretty sketchy with these since i was getting way too worried about it and wanted this to stay as a fun side project, also these are without comping- they become way more purple with compositing LOL

I feel like here too I ended up doing less then what I normally do, which I think mighttt be on part to finding more efficient ways to go about compositing things together (and faster too).

Also, I definitely got pushed into trying to lower the layer amount when I saw a tweet about layer efficiency/layer stacks and them mentioning applying Mattes and CC Composite. Actually a godsend, I didn't realize I could combine my effects like that to lower the amount.

Also, I swear no amount of precomping can save me from this. There's probably a better way to go abt this um LOL, everyone is getting a peep at my file management.

Also, I'm realizing I could've done a tad more with the actual composition itself, like the placement and movement of Olrox in the scene where he's walking forward. For now I have to leave it, because also, the intent for this one was to have fun rather then making every anim an exercise or else I'd burn out so fast LOL

Side tangent but, I've been digging my heels into the animation school club workshops on youtube rn due to having a moment with the scrapped Olrox side walk. Which holy shit, things have clicked for me, so I'm going to try and do more rough exercises b4 i do another finished anim again. It turned a light bulb in my head LMAO, and it pushed me to do the recent maria anim and mizrak and olrox kiss which has a massively greater understanding of timing and confidence LMAO

Ok now this is To Love a God finished! Another animation done :DDDDDD I'm super happy to be adapting a fanwork, it's always really fun and super exciting to bring other people's stuff to life, which what made this more enjoyable then anything else.

Will I do another polished anim before next year/before s2? Time will tell but for now i rest and speed to finish another semester of uni (there is a high chance for another anim because of a joke tweet i did not expect to get traction lol)

Thank youuu if you stayed this far, this was really lengthy and i think i went into different unrelated tangents, so i hope you enjoyed me pulling you into different directions HAHAHA

p.s i uploaded this to youtube and theres an age restriction BECAUSE OF THE FEET. Not because Olrox tells Mizrak he would fuck him, no it's his FEET. I've tried to appeal it but cant do much LOLOLOL

[landboundstar]

How Soothes Are Different Than Stims (For Me)

Hello to my fellow neurodivergent people I hear a lot about stimming lately and not so much about soothing. Honestly, I am glad to just be hearing anything that we are learning on the subject. But I feel soothing coping mechanisms are something that maybe needs to be talked about. Or maybe not just lumped in with stimming. Because, they are kind of different. I categorize my different coping behaviors into different categories - if I haven't always done it, I have for a long time. I have stimming things and soothing things. For me - please note, for me - Might not work for you, mileage might vary - Stimming tends to be things that help me by getting my brain moving and working. Like I will move and snap my fingers a lot of times to help me think when I forget things and it's a behavior I tend to keep up until I find what I am looking for and get back into the routine again. I will rock or sway when I am waiting while I go over steps in my head, especially if I am anxious. Even what type of music I am listening to - when I am stimming, it might be showtunes or shanties or rock songs, but whatever I am listening to, it's helping me get my brain started. Writing is something I do to help calm down, but it isn't because it gets my brain to slow down, but that it takes it to a different place. But sometimes I need soothing instead. I don't need to kick my brain into gear or get it to start working - or working on a specific task. I need my brain to stop. I need to stop hyperfixating. I need to calm down - soothing helps with my anxiety and depression as well, perhaps not surprisingly. But one for me that most people would view as a stim is scalp scratching. But for me - No, that is a soothe. It helps me break my anxiety. I just mindlessly scratch and do scalp massage until I feel less anxious, less hypersensitive to what was bothering me. Going for a walk helps - especially if it is a well known path - when my skin feels almost like it is buzzing because I cannot get my thoughts to line up. My heating pad is my friend - I will reach for that and as I feel the warmth it helps me calm down. I don't fidget with or do anything. I just hold it and calm down. I tend to listen to more instrumental stuff or certain instruments - Pipe organ, cello, piano - those hit the right notes to make the headache start to melt away and let me feel more in my space. Spinning and twisting is more of a soothe for me. Will it look different than my rocking and swaying? Maybe not. But the one makes me feel like I can hit the ground running, and the other is like sitting on a porch swing or a rocking chair and gently rocking to calm down. Some hit both - kaleidoscopes and those types of images do that for me - it both calms me and keeps my brain busy. Or listening to audiobooks. I can listen and calm down and get very into the story and also have my brain start revving up by getting into the story - this is really good for me for repetitive or more mindless tasks. Sadly, kaleidoscopes are frowned on while driving but the audiobook helps me. So, again, soothes are going to be as individual as stims are - but I can catch when my stimming ramps up, I need to have a soothe strategy or item available. Oh, and then there are the hardwired soothes - Like getting water on your face - not always a happy sensory thing, but there is a process called the mammalian dive response - it helps you calm down. Getting a drink of water - cortisol is water soluble. Certain breathing rhythms prevent hyperventilating and will help your body calm down. Because those are hardwired ones. Some are go tos, some are not. And sometimes if I can catch the physical stuff - like if I realize my skin feels itchy, I am hypersensitive to at least one thing, or I am flushed or my ears are ringing - again these are some of my signs, yours will vary - and I can help stop a meltdown or an anxiety attack or a major depressive episode by using a soothe. They don't replace stims for me, they just fill a different spot, check a different box. But please, find your soothes as well as your stims.

[esta-elavaris]

Hi!

Sooooo, I was wallowing in self pity because there was no HWFG (no pressure to write or update! I just can’t be normal about that story) so I went to check your ao3 and was surprised to see that you’re a fellow James Norrington truther! It inspired me to rewatch the first two pirates of the Caribbean movies and I kinda fell into the norrington rabbit hole again.

That made me read fallen through time and I honestly became OBSESSED so when I was done with the chapters you posted for that story I immediately turned to catch the wind and,,,,,,, [insert unhinged meme about ripping out guts]. I started reading it on Saturday and I couldn’t put it down so I read through two nights and am now tired as fuck, sitting at work, trying to appear busy while still reading your story. What have you done to me!!! I just read the wedding night chapter (I’m going insane, that had no business being so hot???) and honestly, that was so rewarding? Very well written smut aside, the slow burn was soooo good and there were moments where I had actual tears in my eyes??? Theo’s pain when she overheard Elizabeth accepting James‘ proposal? AH!!!! I adore their relationship. The banter, the soft moments, their conflict, their quiet conversations (though I must say I maybe even like it more in fallen through time? He’s just so mean, suspicious and stupid at times in that one, I live for that). I feel like theyre the definition of „she fell first, he fell harder“ and at one point i was really reminded of something I’ve read elsewhere… it was something like „you’re looking at me with purpose“ and that’s just so spot on for James? He’s so devoted to her it makes my heart melt.

On that note, it’s so impressive how much research you’ve done?! And how much thought you’ve put into everything? It’s not easy to write for that time period (I say as a person with two degrees in history lol), especially when it comes to balancing the cultural differences between norrington and Theo? That made everything even more fun to read.

And it’s so impressive how you manage to have this story follow the events of the movies but for it to never become boring or repetitive? You manage to capture the characters we all know and love so well while also making them your own. Your James, of course, is spot on, but also Elizabeth and will? And in all honesty, I maybe like your jack sparrow more than the canon one. He serves as comic relief so much that you sometimes forget he’s a seasoned pirate and much more intelligent, provident and even dangerous than one might think. He feels much more human in your story in my opinion. And that moment where he returns to Tortuga and confronts Theo about the cannibals? I laughed so loud that my bf woke up lol

Okay so I’ll stop rambling now, I just wanted to drop by to tell you how much I love your work and how glad I am that I checked out your norrington/theo stuff. Theo is amazing and I love them both so much. My boss just left the building and I sure will spend the rest of my time at work today reading, they don’t pay me enough anyway. I so hope that her attempt at changing James’ fate will work out and I’m very anxious but also excited to find out where this all goes!

Sending love and appreciation from Germany!

I know I'm on a tumblr break but this is too nice and it has me crying too much to leave it to gather dust in my inbox 🫠🫠🫠

Thank you so so so so SO much!!!

Honestly Catch the Wind will always have a special place in my heart (the people who have sat and watched me continue to talk about it ~14 months after it was finished are like "we know, babe") because I wrote it like, being somewhat fond of Norrington but mostly to get the idea for a Boromir fic out of my system, and instead I ended up sick over Norrington and still writing the Boromir fic anyway. Buuut I mean I got my favourite project so far out of it so I can't complain, I just laugh at how I played myself. Tbf tho, it was a great thing because POTC was a great stepping stone towards even more intimidating LOTR territory!

I'm so glad the smut was decent, too! That was the first story I've ever written it for and I was so nervous about it 💀 I do completely agree with your view on Theo and James as a couple though - the falling first/harder, and the "you're looking at me with purpose" both. I just don't think he'd ever be the type to get complacent. He's not a man who lays on the charm to win the girl, before thinking "what's the point in continuing to try?" once he "has" her. I see him as being such a ride or die, insanely loyal, "that is my WIFE", Gomez Addams coded guy, I love him for it. Those sitcom coded jokes where a guy hates his wife the second he marries her would be the very opposite of his kind of thing. That's why I had so much fun giving him that back in Theo, considering Elizabeth doesn't return his feelings in the movies.

And I mean, I don't think he's owed that from her and I don't think less of her for not returning those feelings, she can't help it (although I do raise my eyebrows at anybody who'd choose Will over The Noz, but people are allowed to be wrong ig), and I think if anything it'd be worse if she did marry him in the end without having that same level of feeling, but it was just so nice to give him someone as dedicated to him as he was to her in Theodora 🥹 I also think Boromir has a lot of that in him, so I'm very excited about his future with Sybil.

I'm also so thrilled to hear the research went appreciated - a lot of it was very fun, like if I hadn't done an Eng Lit/Creative Writing degree, I would've gone into history (I actually almost did do a second degree in history but the funding didn't work out, so I stick to just reading a lot, which I'm cool with), and like most of it was fun, but there were times when I was googling a) the origin of the coffee table, and b) 18th century equivalents of a coffee table/accent table at 4am for the sake of one throwaway line where I did wonder about my path in life. I swear, I deep-dived into it in the notes usually because I at least wanted to make it clear when I had done my research vs when I was knowingly deviating (a few unknowing mistakes did slip through but I think how much research otherwise went into it kind of makes people more willing to overlook a mistake here and there?) but also because it meant I could get more out of said research binges than just one unnoticeable line in a random paragraph 🤡

And JACK. God. I could write a dissertation on Jack. What they do to his character in movies 4/5 are 90% of the reason I don't like them and have only seen them once each. The other 10% is that uhhh they're just crap. Like it's so, so clear in the first three - mainly because of JD's fab acting - that the eccentric thing masks a lot of intelligence and cunning. He'll do his whole "weirdo" shtick, and I don't even think it's entirely an act, I think he is truly eccentric to an extent, but there'll just be these really brief moments where there's just a gleam in his eye, or he'll be suddenly serious for 0.5 seconds and you see what's going on behind the mask, and you realise it is a mask. Whereas in 4/5 it turns into a thing of "idiot who bumbles around and finds his way by sheer luck", which was never what he was in the trilogy.

I also think his crew's reaction to him shows that he is more than willing to be a hardass captain when it comes to it - the moment off of the top of my head is when Cotton's parrot goes "walk the plank" in movie two and his gun is immediately out and he's not happy and they all kinda startle a bit. But even without glimpses like that, like, they're pirates. If he was weak, and he wasn't willing to be stern and not take shit, they wouldn't follow him, and he wouldn't be half as infamous as he is. They know he's odd, but it's clear they respect him, so he must have earned that respect.

He was the one I was most scared of having to write going into this thing (along with Barbossa and Beckett), because he's so easy to get wrong. I'm always so, so thrilled when I hear I did him justice!

Okay, I have written you an entire dissertation here, so I'll stop now and just say again THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH!!!! 💜💜💜 I've read this like ten times since I first received it, it had me grinning like an idiot every single time, I'm so grateful -- and I hope you like what I have in store for HWFG! The wait shouldn't be tooo long, I'm taking April off of posting but not writing, so ideally I'll have something to post in the very beginning of May!

(and I'll reply to your other ask in a bit, I just wanted to make it clear I wasn't ignoring this!!)

[eerna]

Honestly, I loooved both Spider Verse movies equally but I totally get where you're coming from! But my brother and I were discussing the movie and we are both 100% sure that the third movie will be focused on Miguel and how his perspective changes. First was focused on Miles' journey, second was Gwen and now it'll be about Miguel's theory of the "canon events" not being what it seems. Miles will prove him wrong despite all the challenges he may face trying to save his dad. That's just my two cents! In any case, glad to hear that you enjoyed the movie nonetheless! Have a good weekend!

Ayyy that's great, thanks! Oh I know they have a plan, but every time the studios decide to make a two-parter by simply splitting a story that was meant to be one whole into 2 movies, my heart cries. This movie didn't have any proper conclusion, it just stopped at the beginning of act 3. I'm about to say some big things for someone who saw the movie once, but IMO this could have been fixed by SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

leaning a bit harder into the fact that Miles lets his surroundings dictate how he feels about himself (I disagree that the second movie was about Gwen more than Miles, he got most of the runtime?). Maybe they could have made him join Miguel's team during the first act of the movie and actually do a good job mission! Maybe the mission would have been to redirect an anomaly from killing someone's loved one. He could have seen the canon as something good and worth saving at first, and everyone is telling him what a good job he's doing, and he's super hyped about belonging to a community for the first time in a year! Maybe there's a hint where someone lets it slip that Miguel doesn't want him there, but Miles is READY to prove him just how wrong he is. And THEN he messes up and saves someone who shouldn't be saved and suddenly the community that seemed so welcoming and encouraging is turning against him. So what will he do? Will he try to regain their approval, or will he reject their ideals and once again be alone? Maybe here we can sow that seed of "what could make Miles into an inconsiderate, selfish person?" that we will reap at the end of the movie and during the next one hopefully. And then the leap of faith moment could be him deciding that being himself is worth fighting for, and he runs away from the rest of the spider people and, filled with this newfound confidence, goes home to tell his parents what happened, and then the ending of the movie can play out the same (because it's once again thematically tied to Miles's surroundings dictating him). I feel like that IS what the movie was going for, but because it wasn't written very well, it came across as Miles being fickle and I didn't feel much emotion behind it (except when Gwen caught him Like That and he cut away the web, I YELLED at the IMPLICATIONS).

Honestly, I wasn't a big fan of the writing behind Gwen's issues, either. First off, her backstory being explained in a montage that has not-very-good level of repetition writing made me go "NOOOOOOO". Second off, Gwen's story was basically her being herself and waiting until her dad accepts her as such, which is a waste of a really cool character. She is the polar opposite to Miles in that she doesn't let anyone tell her how to feel about herself, but that doesn't mean she must be static in it - she could have an intrinsic journey! However, the writing still insists on outside issues being the main initiator, and I am pretty annoyed that it all boiled down to "Her dad saw her standing over Peter's body and assumed she killed him, regardless of the fact that Spider-Woman is a well established beloved hero who saves people, and he doesn't care about his daughter enough to stop and think why she might have done that". (The story as it is is fine too, but it's more about her dad learning to understand he loves his daughter, instead of any kind of thematically appropriate character development for Gwen herself. It's thematic in a sense that her advice to Miles is wrong and that parents DO accept their kids, which is okay but sort of a weak point when her dad LITERALLY POINTED A GUN AT HER AFTER SHE TOOK HER MASK OFF ALREADY.) Maybe it would have been better if we didn't see how Peter died because she too isn't really sure if she was in the right or not, so the emotional beat behind her story could have been a parallel to Miles' and Miguel's: Did she do what had to be done, or was there another way? Can she really tell her dad that she wouldn't have done it if she'd known it was Peter trying to kill all those children? And then in the end during her confrontation with her father she finally recalls the entire scene, and she concludes that the choice couldn't have been up to her because she really didn't know what she was doing when she killed him. Maybe following Miguel was not only out of fear of having nowhere to go, but also a coping mechanism, because someone else was calling the shots and she didn't have any responsibility over deciding what happens. But this time, she DOES have all the information, and she is capable of making her own decisions, and that's why she helps Miles. JUST IMAGINE the three of them being three sides of the same moral issue: one who believes in sacrificing what you love for the greater good, one who believes both are the same thing and have to be protected the same way, and one who is afraid of making any choice at all.

Anyway this is really really long and I apologize I just have a LOT to say about how this story could have been dealt with in a way that would have felt natural. How often do animated movies get TWO WHOLE HOURS of runtime???? I wish the writers spent a bit more time refining the story because it absolutely could have been as well done as the first one vjsanvjkadnk

[catholic-on-main]

thank you so much for your blog lol. i've unironically learned a lot from it. i'm 17 and interested in becoming a catholic. i read the new testament and i believe it, i try to pray and learn more about christianity as much as i can, and from the research i've done on different christian denominations i think catholicism seems the most correct & resonates with me the most. never been to church though yet, but i plan on going when i move out lol. but i'm from a secular/ethnically jewish background and i'm nervous to talk to the people in my life about wanting to convert to christianity, because they think religious people are stupid and misguided and that christians are bible-thumping rednecks with no critical thinking skills basically. my friends make fun of christians a lot, and my dad doesn't want to take me to church while i live with him. i've also realized i am more conservative-leaning, for lack of a better word, on issues such as transgender and abortion, though honestly i never thought these were good things on my own but got peer pressured into supporting them. but my area is so liberal/secular and people constantly talk about these issues in ways i very much disagree with or make fun of religious people and i just stay quiet because i'm too much of a coward to say that i'm the person they're talking about. i feel like i would lose a lot of my friends online and irl if i started talking about the impact christianity has had on me and how much it means to me. i know christians are supposed to be open about their beleifs and be able to explain and defend them. i want to explain to people that i want to be a christian and that i don't mean any harm for having different beliefs from them, but i'm honestly too scared to lose my friends. do you have any advice for this situation? (i'm sorry for the long ask!!!)

Anon, thank you for the kind words! I'm glad that my blog was able to help you out. I'm sorry you're in that kind of situation. It's definitely difficult to be in that position, and it's very scary.

I recommend looking into videos on catholic apologetics (how to explain and defend your faith to others). Father Mike Schmitz has lots of videos explaining different aspects of the catholic faith, and I highly recommend his videos! I watch them fairly regularly myself, as he's energetic and can break down difficult subjects into smaller pieces. I also recommend looking into catholic groups you can attend for support. Local churches tend to have groups for young adults that can range from Bible studies to more casual hang-outs. If you cannot attend these due to your family, then look online! There are groups on social media and apps like Discord that can be a healthy access point for others of the faith. You can also reach out to local churches via e-mail to get in contact with someone who can talk to you and get you any resources you might be looking for.

As for difficulties with friends, that's probably the scariest thing. First off, do not feel responsible for changing their mind. If you strive to live your life as a good example of the faith, then you've done your best. Pray a lot over it! I pray rosaries often when I am stressed out about something. I find the repetition helps soothe my anxieties. Ask that you might find the words to best use in your conversations. And feel free to ask others to pray for you as well! You are not in this alone, though it may feel like it. Going into a conversation, ask that they be respectful and hear you out, and say that you will be respectful in return. Make it clear that you aren't accusing or attacking them. If they come at you with questions that you struggle to answer, you are absolutely able to say that you aren't certain how to answer at the moment, and you can get back to them later after you look into that topic. Especially since you are rather new to the faith, but even people raised catholic can struggle with how best to address certain concerns.

Your situation is difficult, and I'm sorry if my response does not seem super helpful or instructive. While I have lost friends in the past due to my faith, it was more of a gradually growing apart rather than direct confrontation, so I don't have the same experiences. I will be praying for you. Feel free to contact me again if you'd like.

And if any mutuals or followers of mine have some of their own advice, especially those who converted to the faith, you all are absolutely welcome to reblog with your experiences!

[blackbutler-readerinsertsandjunk]

Yes, hello! I am currently dealing with allergies in my dorm room. May I please have any of the Noah's Ark Circus crew taking care of an s/o who has an awful case of allergies? I'm talking similar to seasonal allergies but year-round and unpredictable AF. I hope I'm not asking too much.

never too much! aaaaaaaa

Well, she’s doin’ the best she can, but… wot exac’ly is she s’posed t’ do?? Other than fetch you anything you need, which she’s already doing. It’s not as if she knows of anything that can make a person stop sneezing, after all. And, although she sometimes gets a little irritated by the repetitive noises when symptoms crop up, she knows it’s a her problem and not your fault. She’s definitely sure that you’re infinitely more irritated with it all than she could ever be. Still, the best way to help eludes her… you just tell her what you need and she’ll do it, she simply doesn’t have any ideas of her own which might help. Other than giving you kisses on the cheek and running a loving hand through your hair, as long as you’re alright with that. She can’t ‘fix’ anything; she’s a great emotional support, though, and maybe that’s all she really needs to be.

Errrrr… damn… ‘e don’t s’pose some kinda tea might ‘elp, would it? The first time he experiences this he’s almost in shock, seeing that they’re treating it like this is normal for them. He’s pretty sure something like that would drive him mad — regular hayfever in the spring is bad enough! Despite that he might get a little bit of it himself, it’s nowhere near as severe as (Name)’s, and at least that slight bit he goes through lasts only a couple of months. He’s the type to dote as much as he can, offering possible remedies that he’s asked around about and reminding his S/O every so often that he’ll do whatever they need him to. It makes him pout some, to see them in a not insignificant amount of misery with nothing he can do about it. At least he’s there, so he prides himself on making sure he takes very good care of them.

Lord, but they never seen someone sneeze so many times in a row! Ain’t (Name) dizzy?? If nothing else, they understand that yes, their darling is probably a little lightheaded from all that. Immediately following any kind of allergy attack, Freckles is quick to let their S/O lean on them, or they’ll reach over to steady their sweetheart. They have no shame in the way that they try to help, mainly because it’s the kind of thing they’d hope someone who loved them would do for them. That’s what it should be, shouldn’t it, to treat someone you love the way you want to be treated? Of course, they’re forever giggling about it, teasing their S/O: “Oi, y’ exaggeratin’ this jus’ ‘cause y’ want me t’ ‘old y’? Y’ don’t need an excuse f’r that!” It’s mostly an effort to get them to smile and make them feel a little better during moments that might be a struggle. None of it really bothers Freckles, and they’re perfectly willing to ask what they can do to be of help. Whatever their darling needs, they’ll get!

Haha, goodness… they’re a sight! Aww, ‘e ain’t laughin’ at ‘em, ‘e’s jus’… th’ situation’s a li’l funny! While he’s never really seen someone with these kinds of allergies before, he can certainly imagine that it’s not a good time at all. He and his family have run into a lot of different people in their lives, so this sort of thing doesn’t really surprise him despite it being something he’s never encountered until now. Honestly, his poor darling; he’ll have to take them to visit Doc and see if there isn’t anything which might take the edge off, however small it may be. Aside from that, he’s always more than glad to take care of them. All they need to do is tell him what they need, and as long as it’s something that’s physically and financially possible, he’ll find a way to make it happen. He also thinks he’s hilarious, because he counts their sneezes, and gives them a half-affectionate, half-cheeky, “Bless ye ten times, m’ love!” once they’re finally done. Just smack him to train him out of that habit!

Wot the devil… are they alright?? They’re not comin’ down with somethin’, are they? He’s far more likely to assume it’s illness, (mostly in the beginning), than he is to think it’s some kind of year-long hayfever sort of condition. Although he hasn’t ever heard of anything like that, he doesn’t have any problems accepting that’s what’s going on once they tell him. It makes him wince a little whenever they complain about their eyes watering, because he’s had his own issues with vision, and he’s a bit scared that it could lead to them not being able to see. Thankfully, he doesn’t often show his fear, and just does whatever they need him to do. If they’re okay with him carrying them around just in case they start sneezing, so that they don’t get dizzy, he’ll do that. As well, they don’t need to do anything other than mention something that may help, and he’s off to go get it or set it up or whatever they need. He doesn’t think anything of it, but he’s really incredibly attentive.

Good God, wot is goin’ on with them?! Even when ‘e’s sick as ‘ell, ‘e don’t sneeze or sniffle ‘alf as much as they do! Much like Jumbo, Peter is definitely inclined to think it’s a cold or something rather than allergies. While he’s got his own respiratory and immune issues, well… he complains in the beginning that his beloved is “bein’ drama’ic, surely it can’t be that bad??” He thinks they’re exaggerating for sympathy and rolls his eyes a little. (This has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he’s sometimes faked an extra sneeze or two so that he can ‘prove’ he’s so sick and has to sit out practice or performances. Nope. No projecting here.) Once it clicks that they literally can’t help it, he freaks out in a panic that he was so mean. It’s like watching a switch flip — he’s suddenly at their beck and call, fetching whatever he thinks they’ll need even before he thinks they’re going to ask for it. He surely feels bad about acting so dismissive, so he desperately wants to make it up to them. He might even apologize as he’s trying to take care of them. Dammit, he doesn’t want them to suffer!

(… How many times was that?) Hm. Not sure, Emily. Seven, was it? (Good grief. They’re never going to stop, are they?) Both he and his friends are all startled the first couple of times they see it happen. Actually, it’s a little funny, because Snake tends to sneeze at least five times in a row whenever he does, so he’s borderline relieved to see that it isn’t just him that happens to. Of course, he’s usually sick when he does, and he’s practiced for years to try to keep his from being noticed. (Name) looks a little dazed and annoyed, just… not really surprised. And they don’t seem ill. Tsk. Even though he doesn’t know exactly what it is, other than some kind of long-term hayfever, he knows that any cold remedies probably won’t work. So he tries some of the folk remedies for hayfever that he knows, gently sliding them over toward his sweetheart with eager eyes that beg them to try it. It puts him in pain to see them suffering, so he wants to ease it a little, if he can. If nothing else, he’s content to curl up with them and just… be there. Emotional support Snake, all the way.

One, two, three, four… Lord, ain’t it ever gonna let go of ‘em? They jus’ look so damn itchy ‘n’ uncomf’table! She couldn’t imagine having to sneeze so many times in a row, and coupled with the sniffling and watery eyes that apparently come with whatever this is, she’s quietly worried about her S/O. It extends into her going to see Doc, asking about if such a thing is normal and if anything might be able to help her darling out. That must get old, and she certainly knows how old it gets from the fact that she and Peter tend to catch a cold seemingly every two weeks in the winter. As far as she can picture, that’s a taste of what this year-round hayfever must be like for (Name). If they could see through their sneezing, they’d notice her watching them with a blatantly concerned expression whenever it happens. As small as she is, she thinks she can give them some help, or at least be of comfort. It’s not going to stop her from trying, anyway, so she likes to just lie down with them as often as she can, an attempt to get them away from whatever might be bothering them and a chance to relax. If they tell her anything will help, she’s prepared to go get it. She just… she wants to take care of them. Any way she can.

[caspersickfanfics]

Late Arrival chapter 3 was incredible ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!

With the way it went, I was expecting Cyno to be the one to have the anxiety attack at the prospect of going to the bimarstan, but then I was like "oh no, wait, Tighnari is the one getting the symptoms here!" Which I honestly love, because JUST IMAGINE THE STRESS HE'S UNDER! I truly thought Cyno was out of the woods after chapter 2, of course Tighnari also thought so, so Cyno suddenly getting sick again would of course freak him out. It's so much pressure on his shoulders, because essentially if things go south, Cyno's life is in his hands. And as he stresses in the chapter, he's not a doctor, he doesn't 100% trust his own judgement, but taking Cyno in would cause so much stress and- argh! The whole situation was just BAD, I completely understand why Tighnari crumbled under that pressure. He deserves some good, GOOD rest after all this, the poor boy 😭

I also just. I love the start. Cyno waking Tighnari up, and his little "I need to throw up." I loved that so much ahh!

Now I gotta sit down at some point and reread all three chapters as one!

HELLO I'm so glad you enjoyed it ahhh!!! I also just realized that I forgot to post your ask from chapter 2 which I feel awful about I am so sorry 😭 I'll release it from my drafts as soon as I'm done rereading this message 300 times ahaha

I'm so intrigued by this because some of the readers predicted Tighnari getting sick, but as the writer it honestly caught me off guard too 😂 but yes!! Exactly, he was just under so much pressure and he felt a bit trapped, knowing how resistant Cyno is to seeing an actual doctor. And he was so tired, not to mention the headache... poor Tighnari. I wish I knew how to write fluff because I feel like this story deserves a wholesome little epilogue where they both get some good rest in. I just. Have no idea what to do with a fic when the angst is gone lmao but I imagine they get lots of cuddles and perhaps have a friendly guest or two *cough cough* Kaveh and maybe Alhaitham *cough cough* come by to check in and make them both food. I like the idea of someone demanding Tighnari rest and he does but he gets really bossy. Like "You told me not to do anything so now you have to do all of it for me" >:)

I also really like the start of this chapter, so it makes me really happy that you liked it as well!!! <3

If you reread the whole thing, I just really hope it feels somewhat cohesive. That's the thing that makes me nervous about multi-chapter fics. It's tough, making sure they feel connected while also trying not to be too repetitive?? Idk, it's a new skill I'll have to acquire I guess!!

Thank you so much for all of your kind words, this really made my day!!! <333

[hallowedlore]

omg what ARE your top 5 books of all time

WOW going straight for the throat I see I see!!!!

I'm excluding plays & poetry from this, because I will actually cry if I have to weigh pratchett against shakespeare. THEREFORE: novels only, in no actual order:

sarah waters' Fingersmith. blew me up, cut me down, ate my heart whole & spat it out remade. obviously I cannot Say A Word about the plot, because that would spoil too much to unwary tumblrers, but this is a book about hatred and desperation and grief and horror & also a book about fascination and attraction and seeing true for the first time. and sex. maud & sue are each other's foils, shadows, personas, and ghosts, each other's assured ruin and fragile rebirth. I adore it.

terry pratchett's Going Postal. honestly, this could have been night watch, or monstrous regiment, or hogfather, or small gods — but I'm listening to the going postal audiobook as i type this (the moist audiobook, if you will), and so much of it is truly, deeply heart-shattering. a story about a con man forced into public service, a harangue against capitalism, a plea for humanism, often hilarious, sometimes beautiful in meaning & form, and sometimes so dry the plaster starts to peel. and moist is, in every way, the Perfect Protagonist, bless his deceitful little socks.

shirley jackson's We Have Always Lived In The Castle. I don't think I can speak about this book without stumbling on clumsiness. I will say that the prose is phenomenal — vivid, intense, constant, rich with color & horror both — the characters' vicious cycle drawn fantastically, the setting claustrophobic but enormous, & the ending... spatial. everything is wrong, but everything is so so right.

connie willis' To Say Nothing Of The Dog. listen, this is not a quality contest; willis' prose is a little repetitive & her plot nonsensical, but I love this book from the depths of my teenage heart. it taught me english. it comforted me at the bottom of the hole. it gave me so many other writers (sayers, wodehouse, even shakespeare himself). it is a warm bath of a book, and I return to it whenever I need to feel that I am loved.

I think I'm going to have to go with austen for the last one, though it breaks me to push others away. Pride & Prejudice, though, or Emma? p&p is luminous & joyful & caustic & young; emma is masterfully written in every way. I don't think I can choose, so I will smush them together & call it done — some books live in your heart forever.

special mentions: dwj's Howl's Moving Castle, sayers' Gaudy Night, baldwin's Giovanni's Room, caudwell's Hilary Tamar series, heyer's The Talisman Ring, forster's A Room With A View, dumas' The Count of Monte-Cristo, t. kingfisher's The Raven & The Reindeer, tamsyn muir's The Locked Tomb series, the Sherlock Holmes books, the Lupin books, others I probably forget, and a fair few romance novels that I'd be glad to talk about (if someone wants my thoughts about the romance genre xoxo)

[willowhatter]

Spoilers for Mandalorian s3 finale 

Do not expect in depth analysis it’s currently just past 10am and I am not fully awake. I’m going to start this off with my likes as if I went straight into my negative thoughts about this episode then this would just be a block of everything I did not like and we would never actually reach my positives.

Axe Woves I always found him extremely self-centered and for the past week I was one hundred percent sure he was some sort of spy. Just because I didn’t like him I had no basis to actually build this theory on just my pure hatred for the man. This episode proved me wrong in a good way and he redeemed himself a little.

Another thing I enjoyed was Grogu finally getting to use the force a bit more than just to do his Yoda flips. I always felt like they never used Grogu’s use of the force to its fully potential and I’m glad that had its time to shine with the team up with his dad.

Obviously I liked Din officially adopting Grogu. It took the man long enough. It does leave me wondering if Grogu’s parents are still kicking about and if so where. But I honestly don’t care to much I’m just glad Din finally saw that he needed to adopt him.

The Darksaber being destroyed. I liked that. I feel like it was always going to be an ongoing repetitive issue if it had not been taken care off. Obviously I’m sad we aren’t going to see any more fight scenes with it but its good that it’s gone.

In a way I feel like it being destroyed shows that a new age of mandalore is upon us. The Darksaber I feel always signified that mandalorian’s could never let go of the past that they were always looking back over there shoulder at what once was. But the saber being destroyed shows that the old ways were never always the best ways and that they need to let go and move on.

Dislikes:

The first thing I didn’t really like is a small gripe and doesn't really matter but Grogu using the force to shield Din, Bo and himself from the fire. It’s not that he wasn’t really capable off it. I’m just surprised by the fact he was well enough to do it. Like he is only small and he clearly struggled in TBOBF to calm down the beast in that, after all he took a nap after it. Surely he would be exhausted and would pass out after it?

I feel like it was to easy to defeat Moff, not that I don’t think it was realistic that they took him down that way. It could very well off happened like that. My problem with it is, is that it had been building up to it for the past few seasons and he was taken down in like an hour or two star wars time. Like there wasn’t much planning or nothing it was just guns and big explosions.

Din not being at the great forge lighting. He could have been there and then gone and done all the other stuff. It was a short scene it wouldn’t be that hard. He was one of the sole reasons that even managed to happen. If Din hadn’t nearly died twice in the second episode then continued to support Bo there would be no great forge lighting. He deserved to be there. I did like the scene minus that.

No goodbye or good luck scene between Din and Bo. I could not give to craps that they aren’t together like I like the ship yes It’s my fav ship of the show. But I knew that the likely hood of it becoming real was slim to none. But they had been side by side throughout the entire season and pretty much this episode and there was nothing. Well you could say the small nod in the living waters scene was it but no I don’t think so they deserved better.

I am thankful I watched this episode in the morning and not at night other wise I would not have slept I would be to busy trying to figure out how I would have done this episode.

[michaelwavemichaelwave]

i am intrigued by arise… what could that be?

Hehehe

I'm so glad you ASKED!!

Arise is the title of the WIP that I occasionally allude to in various tags, and I've been working on it since May. (The title has changed over time, but I think I'm finally satisfied with Arise!)

Basically it's a Midam fix-it fic! (It alligns mostly with canon events, but it's very different from canon.)

It starts pre 15x08 when they're getting out of Hell and progresses into post canon! (I'm doing a terrible job of selling it, I know, I'm so bad at summarizing it without giving anything away! 😂) But they visit Kate, Adam goes to college and becomes a doctor and other fun stuff!

I've been mostly working on editing/ revising/ adding to later chapters. There's still parts that I've yet to write/ expand.

Word Count is currently 60,000. (I plan on posting it once it's complete, which is TBD 😂!)

Here's the opening prologue of the first chapter! Let me know what you think/ if I should change anything!! (Is it engaging? Too wordy?) I don't think I've read the first chapter since the Summer, but I believe it's done (DEFINITLY still need to tweak a few things. I feel like the second paragraph is a bit repetitive and I should cut it down for clarity as well as other parts.) (Ok, now I'm rereading it and can't tell if it's dull af or if I'm just being over critical of my writing. Definitely both. But I'll be cutting some of this from the final version).

"Adam!"

Adam lurches up from where he had been nestled against Michael at the urgency of his voice. Peeking his head up from where he had settled to sleep for the night.

They had long since discussed the subject that Adam doesn't need to sleep. But Adam was adamant that, "What else is there to do in Hell for a thousand years?" 

To which Michael would respond with "work," like the work-a-holic he is. Or "A thousand years really isn't that long of a period of time." But with the increasing amount of time they spent in Hell his tone would imply differently. Having worn into a cold resignation over the years.

Adam would roll his eyes at him, and try to correct his concept of time to that of humanity's. But even he grew distant from "humanity." He seemed to exist in a strange place of being too old to be human but too young to be an angel.

"Adam." The repeated stern caution of Michael's voice jars him back to full attention.

"What is it?" Adam asks warily as he anxiously strokes Michael's feathers as he sits up. Both to sooth Michael as well as to fidget with something.

"The Cage. It's open." Again.

"Oh," is all he can get out.

The memory of the first time is still deeply burned into their minds and Michael's wings. The searing agony of the bars against his body that remained even after Michael had instinctively fallen to the ground of The Cage away from the bars. How the pain had penetrated into his soul even through Michael's grace. Michael writhing on the floor trying to soothe all of his feathers at once. How Adam could only watch after Michael had taken the brunt of the anti-angel warding and material of the bars. They were made of the same material as angel blades, and making contact with them caused grave injuries that lingered and were slow and stubborn to heal. Michael's feathers had long since regrown after that first incident that had occured in year 203 of their confinement. However there were still a few scars that had yet to heal where the feathers hadn't grown back.

[Removed 2 paragraphs here to edit later, but I don't think they're necessary]

After the first time trying to exit The Cage they'd agreed to be more patient. Michael apologized non-stop for failing Adam, and Adam had to assure Michael he wasn't to blame, he honestly would've done the same. But something about that hadn't set right with Michael. He prided himself on his patience, and yet he had been moved to rashness in that moment. It weighed on him- being human, failure. Everything about The Cage had stripped him of his status, his family, his power, his freedom. How could he make an error in perceiving The Cage as open when it wasn't? Michael had never made mistakes before, and failure was immensely devastating. What was he if he made mistakes?

And Adam had taught him how to recover from mistakes- he was an expert on the subject. Though Michael still struggled, Adam made it bearable.

After that Michael had closed himself off from Adam before eventually allowing himself to be more open in front of Adam. They shared a desperation to be free of The Cage, but together they kept each other in check.

And when the door had seemed to open for the second time- Again they had fallen for it.

They couldn't keep ramming into The Cage walls with reckless abandon whenever the opportunity presented itself.

It worried Adam how The Cage could trick all of Michael's eyes. And Michael would fall for it because his eyes and senses had never wronged him before.

Michael would consult Adam when he thought The Cage was open. He’d consult Adam, and those would be the rare glimpses that Adam got of The Cage that Michael always carefully shielded from his view. He’d report back that The Cage appeared to still be sealed. Then they'd wait, and watch until the door closed again. And pray that that wasn't it.

But this was different.

Adam paused for a beat over the electric race of Michael's thoughts and emotions.

“It’s open.”

[jaggedwolf]

I got dragged along to rewatch spider-verse, have a bunch of opinions

Gwen's parts of the film are still my favorite. I love the way the drums kick in and frantically keep going, the bleeding colors, subway doors opening right into rooms and of course, that her uncle ben death doesn't result from inaction but directly from her own hand - awful and great.

Miles's family stuff still felt repetitive to what was going on in the first film, even if the nuances are different

I love Jefferson though, he's trying his best and does not want to make more lemon bars to fix all the shit Spot and Spider-man broke

I'm also glad that spider-verse him gets his wife's last name because honestly what on earth was that original combo

I am very boring and have no suspension of disbelief about giant catastrophic set-pieces where somehow no one dies, which makes the banter-driven inability to catch Spot before half of Mumbattan Alchemax collapses much less endearing to me. Same for a giant quantum hole in Mumbattan not yet hurting anyone.

Still very fond of Pavitr. He's had it so easy so far! What do you mean being Spider-man is hard! Also the eternally appealing superhero desperation of "I can do both" when first faced with a hard choice

IDK how convincing the second movie's resolution to the "breaking canon events disrupts the universe" problem is going to be. It'll be annoying if they try to say Miguel was merely lying and/or it isn't an actual problem, given that we see Peter B. witness Miguel's world fall apart and that no one disagrees with Miguel saying "we haven't always been lucky" about disrupted canon events -> quantum holes or whatever -> dimension collapsing

The pacing really falls off in the second half of the film. Before then there are a couple of scenes that go on for too long, but man, literally three of the people I watched the film with fell asleep during that chase sequence - it relies on the chaos of a billion spider-men for too long before giving it some structure

The dual reveal of Gwen and Miles in the same bedroom in different universes is sick, whether or not you've already guessed that was the issue. Miles' mom 's reactions to mentions of his dad are well done.

.....Gwen talking to Miles' parents was absolutely unnecessary lmao. Adds nothing to the film, other than trying to beat you over the head with the already implied theme, and also would the parents not be losing their shit?? Wished it had ended with her just eavesdropping on them silently

oh also i liked the stuff they did with gwen and her window reflections - always seeing the other version of herself, huh

Likely a side-effect of the pacing problems but that ending does not at all feel like a solid ending, even accounting for it being the first half of a two-parter.

[bloodmaarked]

as long as the lemon trees grow // zoulfa katouh

first published: 2022 read: 02 september 2024 - 29 september 2024 pages: 414 format: paperback

genres: fiction; young adult; war/conflict (syrian civil war); romance favourite character(s): layla, khawf least favourite character(s): i don't have one

rating: 🌕🌕🌕🌕🌑 thoughts: i am so glad i bought this book on a whim, and that it turned out to be good. i first saw as long as the lemon trees grow's beautiful cover in the international lit section of daunt books, then happened to see it on offer in waterstones later the same day and took it as a sign. to be honest, once i clocked from the blurb that this was a ya romance, my expectations were altered slightly, but ALATLTG is so much more than that and well worth the read.

i'm very uninformed when it comes to the syrian civil war. at the time it was peaking, i was not as tuned in to global current events as i am now; and these days the western media has moved on to covering "more important" topics. therefore, i admit that i did not know that syria was undergoing a civil war, the scale of things, that they've been under the same president for 24 years, and so on. because of this, ALATLTG did a lot in opening my eyes to the situation. while this is a young adult novel, and while there is romance involved, the bulk of the story has to do with salama (the main character) surviving the war. she doesn't shy away from the realities of the war, the catastrophes that have been wrought, the injuries and deaths and injustices to innocent civilians. i found myself shocked that certain events had happened to the syrian people (as it is fairly true to real life, with some liberties taken with timelines) and went to research further. in this sense alone, ALATLTG was a stunning book to read.

zoulfa katouh writes her characters very honestly and tenderly. i loved how salama's character was crafted; her thoughts, feelings, and relationships felt so real. the personification of her fear and guilt in the form of khawf was fantastically done. it was crushing to see how the war affected her mental state, and forced her to make decisions she should never have been in a position to make. i actually really liked the romance between her and kenan, especially because it wasn't turned into the main focus. it was essential for salama to have kenan as the bright spot in her life, the one chance of happiness in a scary and uncertain world.

my small criticism is that the conversation salama and kenan kept having about fleeing syria got a tiny bit repetitive. there was a brief point where i felt they'd gone back and forth on the point one time too many. but even so, it made sense in the context, as it was no small decision to make.

my edition of the book had the extra short story at the end, and it was so lovely to read and a fitting end to salama's story.

ALATLTG is YA done well, and i am very pleasantly surprised. i highly recommend this, even if you do not tend to read YA, because it deals with an important and difficult topic so tenderly. and now, i will be doing my own research and becoming more informed on the syrian conflict, on those who remain, and on those who have sought refuge around the world. and i will definitely be keeping an eye on what zoulfa katouh writes next.

[phyrestartr]

I love your stories sm like wtf, it's golden?? The writing is so chefs kiss and not only did you serve or deliver, YOU FAWKIN ATE. I love that it's not just smut you know? Like there're actual backstories to what is being done and said. Keep up the good work and MAKE MORE DADDY JJK CHARACTERS 😭 IT'S MY COPING MECHANISM AFTER EVERYTHING THATS BEEN HAPPENING IN THE MANGA HOLY CRAP.

(also can I be 🪐 Anon?)

Eyy, thank you so much dude!! LOL I'm glad you like my writing style tbh, I always think it's just really repetitive and it FRUSTRATES ME SOMETIMES RAAAH but I have noticed it's gotten better frfr and it's easier to read and follow along uwu so fucking hard to add details and actions without making it too wordy and clunky asdjk;f

AND YES!! I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKE THE BACKSTORIES AND LORE AND WHATEVER. I feel like reader-insert shit is such an open playground for making interesting/fun backstories and loose plots and relationships and whatnot, and it's like?? kinda disappointing when I don't see ppl spending time on world/lore-building?? And when the conversations are just cringe and not reasonable I just explode lmao (ex. when dialogue has clearly been written by a 15 y/o author, I am spiritually turned off)

I'm personally a big ol' asexual, so the emotional connection is sooo much more important to me, too, and I really try to focus on character interactions and chemistry more than the smut u-u smut's fun, but PWP is not really my thing loool esp since most of it is het-coded u-u

I'LL DEFINITELY BE DELIVERING MORE DADDY FATHER PAPI CONTENT DON'T U WORRY!! THE MANGA IS A MINEFIELD RN AND HONESTLY EVERY UPDATE FEELS LIKE NOTHING IS HAPPENING BUT EVERYTHING IS HAPPENING AND IM SO TIRED!?? SO I GOTCHU FAM I'LL DO MY BEST TO DELIVER!!!!

AND YES 🪐 IS YOURS!!

[superineffable]

MOVIES/SHOWS I'VE WATCHED — 2024

(not necessarily ones that came out on 2024 just ones I watched on 2024)

(started actually writing the list on March so hazy details for some)

(will edit throughout the year i really just want a tracker)

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Taylor Tomlinson: Have It All (2024) ☆☆

~ Good! Fun! I enjoyed her other two shows more, but this was fine too :)

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Hazbin Hotel (2024) ☆☆☆☆

~ Oh the songs!!! The songs are so fun and good and I'm obsessed with all the songs. The story's fine too, heaven and hell topics are always fun to hear about no matter how repetitive it can be at this point but it was okay. I still listen to the soundtrack even though it's been a while since I've watched. (Particularly obsessed with "wait! what.are.you.saying? let. me. get. this. straight. you go downthere and kill those poor souls????" it keeps playing in my head)

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Pirates of the Caribbean (full series) ☆☆☆☆

~ Rewatch! Missed Elizabeth Swann and Will Turner and ended up watching the entire thing again. Glad they're not making another because the story's obviously done and the last two ones kinda felt lower in quality than the first ones but the first ones were so good so they still get four stars.

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Missing (2023) ☆☆

~ This was more fun while I was watching it compared to after I watched it? Not sure if that makes sense but I enjoyed the plot twists while it was happening, it's just that finishing the movie and processing the whole thing made me feel underwhelmed?? But I liked the way that throughout the story you could see bits and pieces of hints about what the story really is. Not something I'd look forward to rewatching, but it was fun to watch !

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Elemental (2023) ☆☆☆☆☆

~ Been a while since I've watched a Pixar film and I really liked this. This was sooo good and I wish they could explore the stories of the world more because it seems very interesting. This could have had a whole series after it too but there isn't any :(

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Moving (2023) ☆☆☆☆☆

~ I was soooo late to this kdrama considering it was something I was looking forward to so much because Cha Taehyun was in it! Loved all the powers and all the backstories! I have no complaints and no notes but I really am hoping rumors of a completely different cast for S2 isn't true and that they would elaborate on the story with the same people, just add more into the mix if needed. Need to see more of CTH's character pleasee let him learn his powers more.

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Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) ☆☆☆☆

~ Rewatch! Still a comfort film for me. I miss my Roald Dahl books

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Make Some Noise (Season 1&2) (2022-2024) ☆☆☆☆

~ Finally got a Dropout subscription!! But yes this was the first ones I immediately went to watch. All of them were great, some prompts weren't relatable/something I was familiar with so there were down moments for me but that's on me!! Special mention to the Plunger that didn't make it to Beauty and the Beast movie, the two Liam Neesons who had to trade their daughters, and the Fisherman who fought God in an arena full of creatures.

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Game Changer (Season 1-5) (2019-2023) ☆☆☆☆☆

~ I was going to pace myself so I don't finish it all in one month but I had to keep watching. Not a single episode missed I enjoyed every single one!!! Currently watching S6 (as of writing this) and also still good! I'd say S4 is my fave season overall? Special mention to my favorite episodes, The Official Cast Recording and Escape the Green Room

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Percy Jackson and the Olympians: Season 1 (2023) ☆☆☆

~ Honestly deserves more stars but I can't get past over some of the scenes they've changed from the book that didn't need to be changed. I will probably need the next season to fully appreciate the TV version more because I'm still stuck with the mindset that the TV is a book adaptation, when it really is it's own thing at this point. I love that there's more Sally Jackson appreciation though! And Percy is incredible I actually feel like he's the same Percy from the books.

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Doctor Slump (2024) ☆

~ Was looking forward to this too much because I like the lead actors but something about the way they tackled mental health in the latter parts made me less interested in the drama and honestly the best friends were more fun to watch. Felt like the script was too messy and I really just forced myself to finish it at the end. They were cute when they were getting together tho

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When I Fly Towards You (2023) ☆☆☆☆☆

~ This is the cutest thing ever?? The leads really only had one (1) major problem and they grew from it and became better at being with each other. I also liked that the other characters also had backstories explored and not just a secondary love line. There are a bunch of cliches but it's a romcom so I love that. Zaizai also just strongly established her cute, easygoing, loveable,and fearless character right from the start til the end and I love her!!

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Hidden Love (2023) ☆☆☆

~ Context: was told this was out around same time as WIFTY and competed with it and this was I think received better so I decided to watch it second but that was the wrong choice cause I would have liked WIFTY more either way. There's the (very confusing) age gap thing which, thankfully, they addressed but then they started to lean into it which left me ?? about it but that was really it. I feel like the other backstories apart from the main love story was not as well done as it could have been, but it did have some really good moments. Liked the acting though, they're both very cute! Loved the brother & sister duo as well.

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Physical 100: Season 2 ☆☆☆

~ I liked the camaraderie I saw from Season 1 cast more (even though its a competition) but I think the Season 2 games were more fun to watch them play. Don't really have much to say about it but I didn't really have much of an expectation going into it since I know there were issues with the way they ended last season. I think they were a bit more fair & transparent this time though! If they do another season I hope to see like a category basis type of game? Similar to semi-semifinals in S1 where they get to choose which games they think they'd do best in. But S2 was better in terms of showing different members at least because honestly I didnt know who the S1 finalists were until they were already in the finals, but at least Amotti & Beomseok were known from the start.

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The Marvels (2023) ☆☆☆☆

~ I have started to not keep up with MCU (starting with last two episodes of She-Hulk, so noting that in case I forget and want to catch up) which, honestly, devastating! But cannot blame myself because I don't like the discourse people have surrounding the movies anymore. Anyway, I don't care what other people think! This was a fun one! Sure, there were things that could have been elaborated on (what happened to the water planet???) but I never thought about all that back in the earlier MCU films because I always just thought they'd address those later on or I'd look for fics if I really want answers like a normal person! Point is: it was fun to watch. Loved all three Marvels and I think they were so cute together. Waiting for their next one!! (Hope there is still more because I heard lots of people didn't like it, same thing for Eternals, and now Eternals isn't going to be followed up on?? Huge middle finger to those people who took more Makkari content away from me!)

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Dimension 20: Fantasy High (2018-2019) ☆☆☆

~ Kind of a low rating, but that's because I'm still adjusting I think. I am onboard with the whole story, but it really felt like so many things were being set up for future storylines, which isn't bad!! Very expected, since it's the start of the entire series, so I really could argue for a 4 star rating on this one. I'm just not fully settled in yet with listening/watching to D&D campaigns because this is the first time so I'm sure I've missed a lot of things, but that's on me!! It was a good run though and I've already started with the Sophomore Year, which I think I'm enjoying more? So excited!

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Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One ☆☆☆

~ I stupidly made the wrong decision to think this was the first MI movie bc someone told me this was the first I didn't realise they meant it was the first part !! That's on me though :) Anyway, bc of that I didn't get some things which is why I will be watching the whole MI for a bit more context lol But for now, will give it a 3.5 rating since it's something you can watch in passing, just casually, even if you know nothing about it. It's okay! Interested in seeing the second one. I like the built in dynamic that the three guys have already, fun stunts and etc!! Will revisit once I'm done with other IM. [Done with other IM: I CAN'T BELIEVE ILSA'S DEAD THEY REALLY CAN'T KEEP A FEMALE TEAM MEMBER HUH! Gonna raise the rating to 4 because I think it's on the same level as Fallout, but sliiightly better because it's building up to something more. Though I think if the continuity sucks for the next film, my view on this would go down by association haha]

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Abigail (2024) ☆☆☆

~ Not as terrifying as I thought it would be, it's still kinda a horror/thriller. I think my favorite is just Abigail tbh and Sammy when she turned puppet. The whole ballet in a violent way is so good I very much enjoyed that! It's another movie you can watch casually, but ending's not enough for me. I think I would've liked to see Abigail & Joey become friends after no matter how messed up that would be hahaha. Might also enjoy a second part to it!! Alisha Weir you are so talented and wonderful, I'm so excited to see more of your work when as you grow older.

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Mission: Impossible (1996) ☆☆☆

~ Not as fun as I expected? Very cool spy things but story itself was pretty predictable. I thought it would give more origin story of Ethan Hunt, which I think I would've enjoyed more. Didn't expect a 'suspected to be a spy working against them' right off the first film though! Anywayy, kinda low because the recent one has a bit more humor which huh makes me enjoy an action film more. This is more serious and you can feel Ethan's less experienced about it. But still probably the best choice for casual watch if you're good with an older film

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Mission: Impossible 2 (2000) ☆☆

~ Okay! Rating this lower by one star but I can't explain why. It's okay, but some parts of it felt dragged out, though I can't pinpoint which. Liked the stunts in this one more than the first! Also they really made a lot of use of the face mask thing they do this time around which definitely one of the best things they have in this series. Also can be watched casually, but probably wouldn't be my first choice.

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Mission: Impossible III (2006) ☆☆☆

~ First one with Simon's character!! Benji!!! Finally!! Tbh I think he's the character I like seeing interact with Ethan the most. Or my favorite character in the series in general. Not sure why yet. Ethan's wife is so cool but I really suspected her a lot at the start because of how some scenes were shot,, she was really cool at the end though. Would like to see her more. I think this one was a bit better than the other 2, but still a bit dead on some parts. It was okayy !

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Wicked (2013 Version) ☆☆☆☆

~ Been a long time coming. Watched the slime tutorial on youtube (with Donna Vivino & Alli Mauzey)! Performance was obviously amazing, Alli is known for being hilarious as Glinda (based on the comments) which is evident in the show. She really pulled off all the comical moments and it made the show so much more fun. The story itself was good! Not much to comment on for me, except I wish Elphaba and Glinda stayed in touch and I didn't really have much of an opinion on the love story haha,,, I just maybe would have liked a more friendship based one than having a love story mixed in because Elphaba struggled to be friends with anyone from the start. But the songs were great and I'm excited to see the movie now!

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Very Important People: Season 1 ☆☆☆☆

~ The only reason I even deducted one star is just I wish they'd gone more crazy in the costumes. Ify & Zac's costumes were the kind of level I wanted but I'm hoping more of that next season (which I'm already expecting). I love Vic so much, they're the best host for this. The lore of Vic is so fun to unravel. My fave ep (apart from Ify & Zac's) are Anna's and Izzy's!! They have pretty simple costumes but really made the whole thing so fun. Anna's Princess Emily was such a great start and I didn't know what to expect from Izzy's but I loveee the lines she gave. Veryyy hopeful and excited for the next season.

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Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol (2013) ☆☆☆☆

~ THIS ONE WAS FAMILIAR. I think I might have watched it in a hotel somewhere in passing. But the Burj Khalifa scenes were iconic. The car park scene was fun. I think it's the best so far cause there's no dead scene as far as I recall. ALSO I spent a lot of time getting disappointed with the lack of continuity bc I really liked his wife and she's just gone (I was literally going "Where's his wife :(" the entire first half) bUT OMG SHE WAS HERE! CONTINUITY!! I like the story. This might be the best one in the series, but hoping the next one is better.

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Mission Impossible - Rogue Nation (2015) ☆☆☆☆☆

~ BEST INTRO SO FAR. And also best so far!! Topped Ghost Protocol I think. This had eveeerything I wanted and also I think the main reason I enjoyed this was because of Benji and Ilsa. Benji will continue to be my fave, I just really like his character and I'm glad he was more involved in this one. Ilsa was amazing!! She was so fun to watch and her situation was so insane. I liked the whole plot, it was exciting right from the start up until the end. This is really setting my expectations up too high for the next one.

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Mission: Impossible - Fallout (2018) ☆☆☆☆

~ I feel like this was the one where you can just feel the relief after they dealt with the bomb. They've had bombs in the past but this had a lot of cutting it close. JULIA, YOU'RE THE BEST! YOU'RE THE REASON THIS HAS 4 STARS AND NOT 3! I didn't expect her back but I'm so happy she was in this one despite it being short scenes. I don't think it topped Rogue Nation, I think it's mostly because of Henry Cavill's character? I hated him from the start and it was pretty obvious right off the bat he wasn't on their side so I just didn't like seeing his character in any scene lol...Alanna was fun! I'm glad she's also in the next movie. Ilsa was also greaaat.

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Tarot (2024) ☆☆

~ 2 stars sounds bad but it's really not that bad. It just feels like a last choice for a movie to put on but at least it was still a choice. It was a very obvious type of movie where you just knew logically the tarot readings were foreshadowing their death, so it was a matter of how they were going to show that. But I'm not really a fan of overly bloody and violent deaths on screen (unless deserved lol) so I had to look away several times. And the ending was,,, not as satisfying as it should have been. Not a very memorable movie, which is a shame cause I kinda looked forward to it.

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Atypical Family (2024) ☆☆

~ I'm kinda annoyed because I watched this with two episodes left to come out so I was really excited because the story has been great and the chemistry of the characters was great, and just the whole power concept in general was nice. It was like Moving but less action and more day to day life, which I guess made my expectations too high since I loved Moving. But the last two episodes were the ones that missed for me. The ending especially??? It felt like they needed at least one more episode. Like they barely wrapped anything up and it kinda sucks. If they'll do another season then maybe my rating for this would go up, but idk I'm just finding the ending to have kinda ruined the whole thing for me. Not satisfying to watch at all.