#honestly the others should be telling him how cool his decking of the night nurse was

[billpottsismygf]

Episode 5 (Dead Dragons) is now done with and it's another good one! In terms of fun stuff, I loved the gang terrorising twitchy ritchie. They should haunt people more. And Niko and Jenny are both so funny; they make a really great comedic duo. (Though I didn't love the whole 'you won't be alone forever' tack Niko took with convincing Jenny to go on the date.)

Speaking of the date, the whole idea of a secret admirer who's watching you was so incredibly creepy to begin with that I was kind of confused when it seemed to be going well. It was kind of cute, then things started to get a bit too cute and I was waiting for Maxine to be revealed as some kind of creature. It seems the answer is just creepy human stalker, but at least I feel vindicated about it being weird. Maybe there's more to it. I shall have to see!

Oh my god, we're really going down a whoooole route with Edwin and Charles. I wasn't sure about it to begin with, but I'm very on board with the drama of it if nothing else. They're really beginning to ramp up the tension with the 'of course you fell for a living girl' (it's giving Martha in Human Nature) and the 'you're the best person I know' hug and the 'sometimes when you admit something to yourself, you have no desire to live with it as a secret'.

Then, there's the final scene with the one-two hit of Edwin having feelings he thought were 'never to be spoken of, but once you have them, it's hard to hold them back' and the heartbreak of his response to Monty. I was so happy at the start of the episode when we got an indication that, yes, Monty actually likes Edwin for real and might even betray Esther for him. If I ship anyone at the moment, it's Edwin and Monty, but you know what, I'm here for the drama and the heartbreak. It's a lot, but I'm desperate to see where it will all lead.

[supernaturallyobsessedchic]

Emergency! Part 1

Part 1 – Plane Crash

Summary: Dean and Cas are partners at Fire Station 51’s paramedic squad and are responding to their first of many. A plane crashes into an apartment complex, multiple fire stations respond to put out the fire and rescue any victims trapped. But RN, Y/N Y/L/N, happens to live in the very complex involved in the plane crash. Though unharmed, she commits her time to aid and assist in the victims coming out of the building and the plane. The rescue turns sideways on Dean when a beam drops onto Dean, damaging his oxygen tank, he quickly turns into a victim as he quickly succumbs to smoke inhalation and becomes Y/N’s patient.

Warnings: Mild angst (relationship), slight language, fluff?

Square: Firefighter!AU ( @supernatural-jackles​ Tell me a story Bingo)

Word Count: 1,784

Mobile Masterlist

Series Masterlist

A/N: DOA = Dead on Arrival. Y/L/N = Your last name. But I hope you guys enjoy!

~

She got up at her usual time of 5am to be at the hospital by 6:30am.

Not much of a coffee drinker, she just got her a mug filling up with soda, the soda being her caffeine for the day.

She got into her scrubs, grabbing her nametag, pens and her personal notepad.

Ready to hit the road before traffic begins to pick up on the freeway in Los Angeles, she grabs her wallet, phone and keys she locks up to leave for her day at work as a Registered Nurse at Rampart emergency hospital.

Just as she got to the street to her car, there was a loud noise growing louder. She looked in the direction of the noise to see a plane, crash landing into her own apartment complex.

Ducking beside her car at the impact of the plane she was also thankful for her timing.

Quickly she dials 9-1-1.

Dean got up at his usual time of 4 in the morning to begin his 24-hour shift at the station.

Dean is a paramedic and squad member at station 51.

He pulled his truck into the parking lot, still trying to wake up.

His partner was already there.

“Cas, do you ever sleep man?” Dean asked.

“Slept on the couch again.”

“Are you and Hannah okay?”

“No, we had a big fight again last night. I don’t know what I can do for her anymore.” Cas says, defeated.

“Just end things man, you need sleep, and you need some peace of mind. I got room at my house for a roommate if you need a place.”

“Thanks Dean, but I already had plans of ending things with Hannah, last night was just the nail in the coffin of yet another failed relationship.”

“She failed it man, you did nothing wrong.” Dean encouraged.

“Thanks man.”

Dean offered a kind smile and a pat on Cas’s shoulder.

“Ready for another long shift?” Cas asks.

“As ready as I’ll ever be, my dad here yet?”

“Yeah, he’s in the office why?”

“Wonder if he got the invite to Sam and Jess’s wedding.”

“Bought damn time that kid popped the question honestly.”

“I know, he and Jess dated for what seemed like forever.”

“You really think they’re still sore at each other, I mean John of all people should know he can’t control what his kids want to do.”

“Yeah, I don’t know, that’s why I was gonna ask if he got it.”

Cas nods.

“I saw you put in for a three-day weekend, what’s going on?”

“Just wanting to take a trip out to the campgrounds outside of town to the family cabin, Dad says the deck could use some work and I was gonna kill two birds with one stone. Camp out and help dad fix up the deck.”

“That sounds cool.”

The fire stations alarm sounded.

“Truck 27, squad 27, engine 47, squad 47, Engine 51, squad 51, structure fire at Purgatory Apartments 1366 south Millard Ave.”

“Lots of trucks and engines responding, must be big.” Cas states. Jumping into action.

“Must be.” Dean says running to the squad truck, jumping into the driver seat, Cas jumping into the passenger.

Dean turned the keys in the ignition, roaring the Ford Truck to life, and turning on the lights and siren. Heading out onto the road, with the firetruck, Engine 51 following behind.

 “This is RN Y/N Y/L/N, I have multiple victims at 1366 Millard Ave. A plane crashed. 3 already DOA, I need help right away.” She says into the phone.

“We’re working on it; we already have multiple firestations responding to your location. Just keep aiding in the victims as best as you can Ms. Y/L/N.” dispatch for 9-1-1 says.

She continued chest compressions on a victim and did 2 rescue breaths. And checked his pulse, still no change.

She sat her phone off of her shoulder and on the ground, so she could focus on reviving the victim.

One more attempt at cpr, she checks his pulse, still no change. Placing his hands over his chest, she says a silent prayer.

“I’m sorry.” She tells the people watching over her as she worked.

“Where is your help?” a lady asked furiously.

“They’re on the way, LA Is a large ass city, and you know how traffic is in this town.” She says.

She was already frustrated with the losses she didn’t need an attitude from anyone.

The sound of wailing sirens in the distance brought relieve to the nurse as she worked tirelessly on the victims.

Engine and squad 27 and 47 being the first on the scene.

“There are people trapped in the buildings, and there were about 45 passengers on this flight. 4 are DOA so far.” Y/N stated to the captain of the two fire stations as they approached her.

“Alright, I’ll send my guys in.” Captain of station 27 stated.

“I’ll let the other stations as they come in to assist.” Captain of station 47 stated.

Another fire engine’s siren wailed as it approached.

The men jumping into action.

“Winchester!” the captain of station 47 shouts as he approached engine 51.

“What do we got?”

“Unknown number of victims trapped in the complex, 45 passengers or so from the plane. 4 of them were DOA. Oh, and she’s a nurse, thought I’d mention that she could help us out.”

“Right,” John Winchester, captain of station 51 agreed.

“Alright guys, we got to work fast, there are people trapped in these two buildings, we need to clear them out. Tran, get the engine ready so we can use the hose. Gabe, and Michael, work on the fire with the other stations, Benny, Raph, and Charlie, aide the paramedics, either from 27, 47 or Dean and Cas, we need to save as many as we can, alright?”

“Yes sir.”

“Get to it.”

Everyone went to where they were instructed to. Dean and Cas got their equipment from their truck and went into one of the buildings, full fire fighter gear.

“Dean!” John called out.

Dean stops, giving John his attention.

“Be safe in there son.”

“I will dad. Don’t worry.” He says, running in.

There were a good handful of people able to move and get to safety on their own, and another handful Dean and Cas had to carry out of the building.

One woman, sprained ankle from trying to escape hastily, as Cas carried her out she nearly flew out of the man’s arms.

“My daughter, she’s in her room!” she cries out.

“I’ll get her, Cas, get her out of here.”

Cas nods, doing as told.

Dean inspected the rooms, finding a seven-year-old girl, hiding beside her bed covered in a wet blanket.

“Hey, I’m Dean, I’m gonna get you out of here.”

The girls nods.

Dean kept a protective arm around her as they exited her room.

A beam creaked, and gave way above Dean, hitting his back.

He heard a loud pop, like a large pop can exploding.

He found it hard to breathe through his oxygen mask.

Taking off his mask and tank he saw rupture in his tank.

“Shit.” He hissed.

His lungs were quickly taken over by the smoke, he started coughing immediately.

He noticed the girl was already gone.

He tried to get up to hurry and save himself but he felt a sharp pain in the back of his leg.

He looked behind him, he saw the beam pinning him down by his leg.

Overcome by the coughing, his world began to turn black.

 Y/N finished placing a splint on the womans ankle when a child ran up to her and the group of firemen.

“Jamie! Baby!” her mother cried out, holding her arms out to her daughter.

“Mommy!” she cried.

“Where’s Dean?” Cas asked.

“A beam fell down and knocked him down. He’s stuck.” She says.

Without another word exchanged Cas took off to the apartment they rescued the woman.

The fire was slowly getting under control and it was easier to see inside the apartments. Cas was able to spot Dean out in the apartment easily.

He laid on his stomach, still and unmoving. Cas can see the beam pinning against Dean’s thigh.

He saw the beam was not supporting much of anything. He ran out, seeing Michael carrying an axe.

“Mikey, I need that!” Cas shouted.

“What’s up?”

“Dean’s stuck.”

Michael ran towards Cas and he saw Dean, inspected the beam. Saw the same as Cas, the beam not being much of importance to the structure, he begins working on breaking the beam in half.

The wood was badly damaged by the fire, he was able to break it in three strong hits.

Once he was free, Cas picked Dean up and carried him out over his shoulder fireman carry style.

Once he reached the nurse, she prepared an area she could work on Dean.

“Is he breathing?”

“He didn’t have his mask on, the tank was damaged.” Cas answered.

“More than likely smoke inhalation, lay him here and I’ll start working on him.

He did as told, laying him flat on his back.

She checked his pulse, and breathing, matching up to the fireman’s statements. And began chest compressions.

After 35 chest compressions she gave 2 rescue breaths. And checked his breathing, he’s breathing but it was shallow.

She placed on an oxygen mask over his mouth.

After ten minutes or so of the mask being on him, he began having a coughing fit as the air returned back to his lungs.

“He’s gonna be okay but we need to get him to the hospital, need to check out that leg.” Y/N said.

The men and women of station 51 nodded, agreeing with the nurse.

 Later that night as she made her rounds, she walked into Dean’s room.

“Good evening Mr. Winchester, how are you feeling today?”

“Sore.”

“That’s expected having a beam pin your leg down, and the smoke inhalation.”

“You saved my life, thank you, Miss….”

“Y/N, Y/N Y/L/N. And it’s no big deal, all part of the job.”

“Right, saving people.”

“The family business.”

“You’re family work here?”

“Yeah, my mom was head nurse at this very hospital, and my dad was a neurologist here. I was basically born and raised here.”

“Nice, my dad’s captain of station 51.”

“Awesome. But other than that, no pain at the moment, you don’t need anything?”

“No, just a number.”

She smirked, with a nod.

Writing on her notepad, her number. She ripped the paper out, handing it to him.

“Call me sometime, Winchester.”

He held the paper, unable to hide the wide grin.

“Definitely will.” He says as she walks out, continuing her shift.

~

Are you excited yet? I’m posting as I write this, probably a bad idea, but story of my life. Like what I got so far? Let me know, ask, reblog. Feedback is fuel. :3

~

Dean girls:

@pandazombie69​, @luci-in-trenchcoats​, @supernatural-jackles​, @becs-bunker​, @jayankles​, @mlovesstories​, @winchesters-favorite-girl​, @jeaniespiehs20​, @akshi8278​, @lyarr24​

~

Copying and reposting someone else’s content is plagiarism and illegal. This work is property of supernaturallyobsessedchic. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. These works contain material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of these works may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher. An electronic reference link to the original posted work may be provided for purposes of promotion or assistance of publication by the readers discretion, if proper credits are given to the author in the re-post. 3/18/2021

[potatosoldier]

Are you still there?

  /Part 7/

I am hot, I am sweaty, and I am crammed into a small cot surrounded by equally sweaty men. It was the 6th of September, and we had just boarded the Great Samaria a few hours ago. We were now on a journey to Europe. 

How they managed to jam us into this ship, I have no clue. It isn’t like there is 20 men over the capacity of this ship. No, this ship was made for 1000 passengers and now there were 5000 men from the 506th shoved in. I could have made the choice and went to the officers and made my stay there, I want to be near the men. 

“Joe, darling, your shoulders are like barn doors, I can’t fit”

Oh yes, as the passenger count was so high, the cots were shared by two soldiers. I was sharing with Joe. At first I also considered going to Skip, but then I came to a conclusion that I could stand Joe’s singing in this suppressed place, but listening to Skip talk non-stop would make me an irritable person. And I truly did not want to become that. These men are my companions and I want to treat the with the respect they deserve. I did not have the right to become rude even in these circumstances. 

Also, if I was put too high, Bull would have to carry me around like a baby monkey. 

“For God’s sake, just turn the other way”, Joe grunts as I try to maneuver myself without jostling the cot too much.  

“Joe, please move”, I whine and try to push him. He rasps and looks at me teasing smile on his lips. 

“you wanna continue trying, Bambi”, he teases. I scrunch my brows and pout. Why did he have to make this so difficult. Then I put on my most motherly glare. “Joseph Toye, this is not how you should behave”, I scold. 

He chuckles once again, but proceeds to move over so I’m finally able to fit in next to him on the cot. It was a tight squeeze, both of us were on top of the bed springs, but we tried to be so that it’s the least uncomfortable. Physically and mentally. 

“So you told Muck, huh?”, he whispers once we are in and he hears Skip talking while making his way around the ship. I nod as we both look at the cot above us. “You sure that was a good idea?”, he asks. I could hear in his voice that he didn’t doubt Skip personally, but he was just checking in. 

I smile. “He has been good to me since I came here, He won’t betray me now. And it does feel good to let it out”, I tell. He nods. 

“So, what do you think about going to Europe?”, he asks. I shrug. “I’m glad I’m here, maybe we can speed up the process of ending this war and Matias and dad can go back home”, I answer. Matias was my older brother. I think he is the reason I’m so fond of Skip and Luz, Matias was such a jokester too. It broke my heart to think of him out there somewhere, fighting for his life. 

“I’m glad we’re going to Europe too. Hitler gets one of these right across the windpipe, Roosevelt changes Thanksgiving to Joe Toye Day and 10,000 a year for the rest of my fucking life”, he says in a much louder voice. 

I look at him trying not to laugh. “Joe, I promise I’ll celebrate Joe Toye Day from now on even if you don’t succeed”, I manage to say without laughing. 

“What if we don’t get to Europe, what if they send us to North Africa”, Smokey points out from above us. 

The conversation doesn’t awfully concern me, till I hear these words: “ I like Winters, he is a good man. But when bullets start flying, I don’t know if I want a Quaker doing my fighting for me”

My head turns sharply up towards Bill’s bed. My blood starts running cold with the rage I’m feeling. He had the audacity to condemn someone by their religion and to add to that doubt MY husbands skills in combat. 

“How do you know he’s a Quaker?”

“He ain’t Catholic”

I’m about to jump up and teach the boy some manners when, Joe apparently notices my open mouth and shoves my head under a blanket. And by shoving, I mean shoving. Nothing gentle about it. I can only imagine the looks people are throwing at us. 

“Okay Bambi up we go” he then says and starts lifting me up, my head still covered. I can hear Liebgott and Bill still having a spat and am about to turn to go towards the noise, but Joe keeps me covered till we are away from the scene.

“You need some fresh air, you angry hedgehog, to he deck we go”, Joe says and pushes people around to make us way forward. He really saved me from making a mistake. 

With Richard

The Boat was far from comfortable, that was the only thing Richard Winters would say to the circumstances at hand. Last time he had been this hot, was while running in full gear in Toccoa. 

“They really filled this Troop ship to the brink”, Lewis says looking just as sweaty as his friend. “If I’m going to be this hot, I’d rather have 5000 ladies here. At least there would be something to look at”, Nix says. 

“Yeah, and by the time you’d make it to your destination they’d have eaten you alive, after finding out about Kathy”, Dick teases. Keeping your mind light in situations like this was the key to keeping your head together. His friend had his own lightness hidden in Dick’s footlocker. 

Lewis let’s out his trademark chuckle. “Easy for you to say”, he snarks back. Dick knows exactly what he means. It was easy for Dick to judge other men for seeking affection because his own wife was there. 

Dick only looks at his friend with a dry look and they remain silent for a while. 

“Never thought this day would actually come, of course I knew it was coming, but hell we’ve come a long way”, Nix says and takes a swig from his flask. Dick lets out a small huff. It really was a miracle that Sobel hadn’t found some way to get rid off them. 

“You think we can make it Nix, back home I mean”, Dick asks thoughtfully and plays with his fingers. It was a curious question, not one of sadness or fear. 

“That’s not for us to decide, but hey I’ll drink to the thought of seeing your children some day”; he says raising his flask in what was supposed to be a happy remark, but when he sees Dick’s face, all the happiness goes away. 

He furrows his brows and looks at his friend more closely. “You okay Dick?”, he asks while still studying his now pale friend. Dick just continues looking ahead like he was not there at all. 

“Yeah, Nix, I’m okay”, he finally whispers and they drop the topic replacing it  with silence. 

Sonja / Day 3 on the Samaria/

“Better out than in, there we go”, George says as he brushes some of my hair back. I had been throwing up for the last two hours. I wasn’t sure was it the sea or the smell of the fish soup that made me so nauseous. 

“I fe- ugh”, I puke again in the middle of my sentence. I was not the only one throwing up, no. But I felt very embarrassed to be in this situation. I was a nurse, not a patient. 

Suddenly a pounding of boots is heard and I feel someone place themselves on the other side of me. “There we go, a Hershey bar for the lady. Got it from Winters, tried scrounging and he was kind enough to offer when he passed”, Skip says as he opens the wrapper for me. 

And what I can take from his story is that, that he went to tell Richard I’m unwell and Richard gave him the bar. 

“Thank you”, I whisper and take the piece Skip snaps me. Luz takes the bucket from my hands and gives water to rinse my mouth.  “For a small lady, you sure puke your guts out like a grown man”, Luz teases. 

“Shut up, I’m only three inches shorter than you”, I grumble and lean against him while savoring the chocolate to get the taste of vomit out. He only chuckles and makes a mocking “UGH” noise. 

“Thank you boys for getting me out, I thought Joe was going to kill me”,I giggle softly. They both huff in laughter. “I mean you did puke on his chest”, Skip points out. I grimace, that I sure did. His chest and neck where running with fish soup after I retched on him. 

“Someone get her a bucket, fucking hell, if someone isn’t gonna help her, Imma kill every fucking one of you”

“Skip, go get us some cards, I don’t think she can handle the sweat level yet”, George says as he strokes my back, as I gag again a little. 

How long was I going to be stuck on this boat.

----------------------

The night was awful, I felt sickly and I noticed that Joe was turning more than usual, probably because of the back pain. We were lucky enough to fit on the cot so that we could both sleep in it, but nothing seemed to get me catch sleep. I was afraid of throwing up again. 

“Nurse”, I hear a whisper. I jump and look up. Even in the dim lighting I can recognize my husband. I carefully stand without jostling Joe too much, and gently put the blanket on him again, after raising it up a little to get a little cool air on him. 

“Yes sir?”,I ask professionally as I stand before Richard. He just nods his head towards the deck. 

As we make it to the deck we quickly and quietly find a corner with no one sleeping in it. He takes a look around and has a seat. Before taking something out from his pocket: chocolate.

“Richard, you don’t have a sweet tooth, how do you have all these”;I ask looking at him oddly. 

“I got this from Nix, he was willing to sacrifice it for I quote ‘holy business’“, I giggle at my husbands expression as he quotes Lewis. I take the bar from him and put it next to me. I honestly felt too sickly to eat it now. 

I look at Dick biting my lip. He seems to notice the softness in my gaze as he utters a gentle “come here”, and gently guides me to lay my upper body onto his legs. 

“Don’t worry, darling. I can keep watch, and if they ask more, I can say that I was just looking out for you as your officer”, he soothes and rubs his hand along my arms. Which feels amazing on my sore muscles. 

“I think it’s time to tell the men soon anyway. They need to get used to the idea before we jump, and I think that they know you well enough to not judge you”, he then brings up. I nod against his leg, this living in secrecy was starting to become more and more difficult. 

I then squeeze my eyes shut as nausea takes over me. “Richie I think I might puke”,I whimper. I always got very stressed when I had nausea, and sensitive. “I don’t wanna puke on you”,I say and try to rise, but in all honestly rising just made it worse.

Richard guides me back gently. “If you puke on me, then you do. Don’t worry about that. Let’s just get you comfortable”

----------------------

On the 15th of September we finally made it to Liverpool. I was still quite pale after the ride. Eating had really become a task, and without food, you lose strength. But with the threats from Joe and gentle urging from Carwood Lipton, I was able to get food down. 

“You feelin’ good ma’am?”, comes a familiar Arkansas drawl as I give a happy sigh to be on the steady ground. I chuckle “Aye, sir, better than ever”, I say teasingly. He mock salutes me and we start walking for our shelter for the night. 

I walk on Joe’s side keeping a firm hold of his sleeve as I had been told by Lip.

“We don’t want you getting lost, you are harder to find than most of us”

At first I had wanted to tell him that I am a grown woman with military training, but his truly caring gaze changed my plans.  If I could express in words, how thankful I was for that mans care I would shout it at his too humble face. Okay, these boys are really rubbing off on me, I wouldn’t shout, maybe gently lecture. 

Tomorrow we would be going to our final destination. 

-------------------

Aldbourne was vastly different from all the places I’ve had my training and from what the men told me, it was also very different to them. We were in the middle of a village! We could actually see other people. 

“Come on Sonja, please, please please”, Skip was begging on his knees. We had gotten our passes to go to Swindon for a Saturday night dance this weekend. The boys were all excited about being able to go and actually getting the passes this time. 

“Skip, you know I get uncomfortable with many people, also it’ll be nice to have some time alone”, I try to reason as he keeps pushing my skirt and blouse towards my hands. 

He looks at me with his green puppy eyes. “please, Bambi, for me, Joe is coming too. Aren’t you? Hear that Joe is there too”, he begs. I sigh and look at both of them. 

“Okay, but when I say want to come back, I will”, I say pointing at him. 

“Yes!!”

-------------------

I didn’t put on my skirt and blouse, instead I took out my light blue swing dress and let my hair down. It was nice to feel girly again, and actually have a reason to get dolled up. That was not the best part, the best part was actually putting my wedding ring onto my finger. I gave a small kiss to my cross and said a little prayer of gratitude before going to the boys. 

The boys were happy to have me, their lady with them. 

“Your husband is one lucky bastard”. George had said when he saw me. Bull had even blushed when I gave him a kiss on the cheek as thanks for helping me with my jacket. 

All the girls in the dance were dolled up too. I found the music in there absolutely delightful. It might have not been completely in my taste, but I appreciate it nonetheless. Also the sound of shoes clapping against the floor was beautifully relaxing. 

“Would my lady like to dance?”, Skip asks bowing at the waste. I shake my head at his antics but take his hand none the less. And boy did I make a mistake. I was tosses from Skip to George, to Bull, to Joe, to Don (who mind you, was an excellent dancer!) and god knows who. The Easy boys really decided to hit the floor. 

Once I was able to make a run from them, I found Joe drinking a beer at one of the tables. “You having fun?”; he asks and takes a long sip. I nod and smile widely. 

“I can’t remember the last time I’ve been able to dance so much! But I do wonder”, I bite my lip. “Am I a bad person to be here, without Richard?”; I whisper. 

Joe shakes his head. “You’re too good for this world. There ain’t nothing wrong with you being here. He trusts you and you trust him. And hell, you were giggling like a school girl when you realized you still had time to go to him after this. You aren’t committing any sin”, he soothes with a little teasing making me blush. 

Who can blame me, I just want to grab my Robert Burns poems and go read with Richards head on my lap. Was that really too much to ask for? He was my husband.

We continue our conversation, with me sipping a cup of water, until I hear a similar interruption as in the boat. 

Bill and Skinny make it to our table chatting. “He might be a good man, but Quakers aren’t meant for this shit” My patience had been running thin with these comments for so long and now my patience was all run out.

“He is not a Quaker”, I snap. Bill turns to me with an odd look on his face. 

“And how do you know that Bambi”, many of the Easy men were now near our table from hearing my raised voice. 

I don’t know what made it come out of my mouth, but this did anyway: “If my husband was a Quaker I think I’d be the one who knows that and not you”

I quickly realize what I said and plant my palm against my face, trying to remember how to breathe. I hear Joe sigh from next to me: “Well, now you fucking said it”

@iilovemusic12us​

@georgeparisole​

[breakingmllc]

Slant Sit Up Lean Forward Ask Questions Nod Your Head T Shirt

Get born treasure and come follow me when he heard as he became very sorrowful because he Luke 1818 and there are Jesus was asking this man who is rich and successful would you give it all up to follow me would you forfeit for a Slant Sit Up Lean Forward Ask Questions Nod Your Head T Shirt few years in order to have much more for eternity instead of building a career would you spend your life building 19 Jesus wants to be first and foremost in your life you want to be front and center as he should be. He asked Sherry color here’s your twisted Sherry rotating special this one has parts on so this is one of the new LED lights guys this slight changes depending on the leaning also different lights on this headlamp will eliminate depending on which way strikes cheerleading the bike this was that the effects got seats in a day or bars on it Doesn’t have the stage for awnings at the scene he ported heads said this was God the screaming of mufflers they change the mufflers this year guys this radio mufflers is not a lot better this year so those of you who always is kind of a Smith screaming of mufflersand and aftermarket granite you find this year that the screaming of mufflers a little better yes answer question Mario Lego yes the 114 comes on this bike so based on the motor they did this this lady is a 117 I hear here’s another cool thing guys are like they had these bad genes for the campfire cover you can put in the displacements so you know 42 motor workand nobody knows what’s in there so now you got a tag you Miller for a 114 or 117 or whatever it is no sexy some nights I was kinda done that in a light to do that last year Apple car play that’s a good question Glenn Watts I got a look into thatand I honestly I’m not an expert on the infotainment system yet it’s aligned in one day I gotta get my hands on its on their on the current Latina system I consider myself a pretty dang good that had two bikes with it on their but the new system I don’t know yet know that the LED Denny colitis definite standard guys to answer that question here is this is a PNA nothing set partsand accessories paint set guys so this is called the grandstand I ordered this pink stat on a road glide this year so if you guys follow my channel you will see any building not meet our technicians building a road glide with this grandstand pain I there’s no news on an iron guys irons exact same bike they just change the pain on the spike of assassin accessories on it this is a road king special by the way that the new day maker headlamp my bike Henry Lenny about the Santos man data gaskets the the delights in the slam is a rotating standard in the Connecticut green this was all decked out in parts accessories so you barsand everything on it these bikes will roll out the new there is currently guys they should be your dears right now we we had bikes arrived yesterday the day of the announcement these bikes are shipped out to dealers kill the green that youand sorry greens for that so here’s the stuff on any trikes guys so you got a new braking system here so you got the links brake system with ABS traction control you have a traction control on these bikes now guys so I’m in a ride in a try committed to a big in depth review this year guys on the trikes to be looking for that family commenting all the new the brakes on the breaking ABS braking systemand the new traction control as well on his bikes here’s a free Wheeler this is the salts Bonneville salt pearl so I know old dirty biker today guys I apologize there’s another TRICARE try to buy for you system yes the door locks so I have a rawhide deluxe over here I’ll show you a quick though yes but I do lots answering digital locks this is the rawhide years like the rawhide to me now Ellis a root beer I agree with the comments there is one new actual model this year guys really got asked the question it’s right here to steal this the one new model is to recap on what’s new guys there’s someone you model that makes DL the specialsand the altar limited the road but also all went to 114 this year that’s new to infotainment systemsand all the bikes have infotainment system are new there’s a brand new infotainment system this year guys know it does not retrofit back to the old models here is a billiard blue slant OF this one yet Ryan just has the Akronand there’s no model name is called an ethics VR of those kind of weird to good question robot special colors you have memorized you guys I think it’s black billiard blue industrial gradesand himand I think those like that Connecticut green in a Blue Max setting are the colors I could be wrong that I like is a level of colors memorize yet yet a new headlight that rotates that’s a PNA bike arts using a PNA partand accessory parts you can only buy that the parts catalog it does not come stock on any bike but somebody none timeand let me know he is want to see the me know he is on a see here is a rocking serious Iand I answer the question via the new infotainment system cannot be retrofitted back to the old model bikes unfortunately so if you want yeah by 2019 yes I had amount videos all the videos that you see much as I do all that 100 is 1 million questions what bikes you want to see let me know thank you I appreciate it thank you guys closer guys thing on himand he went on the videos here pretty soon I think I got my stuff John Maxwell’s okay on my channel I have a video with him up maybe tomorrow afternoon or something three glide see Bob CVO altar versus road glide on the s’more robotand streetlight stuff gorse orange like a fat boy hoping to have all those guys here’s a robot special in the billiard blue is billiard blues nice guys gave you in the colors I order a lot of it’s really nice you is that still reflects guys think together the right is at a production viewer does not exist anymore guys I’ll be testifying guys new bikes soon the first by comeand try to do it then you ethics VR vacuum to read you a lot of my reviews this year guys because the specials all have a 114and are now I agree Nathan John that you should move to LA work at Laidlaw’s I agree so somebody asked for that still reflects color with find a I know I know I’m gone is the bunch of the colors on the streetlight over here okay so here’s that silver flux you about 1000 people watching right now so. I want to hear what all of you think to review the results of it on Thursday actually Thursdays going to be our twitch show where we do the entire show on twitch so that should be a new thing that we do good night everybody you have a good night and I everybody I want to up the ending so I’m switching your way for actually I you’re right Billy you know what guys I Billy brought up something else before he rage quit I have I you know what I’m glad you brought this up before he rage quit Billy because you distracted me by the way I have time now I have to do push ups and other stuff on a wartlike ground view up we put on the floor we would be doing pretty you how many when he going to do 10 yeah I can do it 10 push ups yeah I can do it unsatisfied I can do 10 push ups and I to zap myself he remembered and he distracted me with like it’s rage quit and move that thing back you pull to do it like her and yeah I don’t have the extension will you do dang well here hold on source sorry Jeff

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[babyboy-cody]

waste the night

PAIRING: Jim/Male!Reader

SUMMARY: Y/N has always considered Jim his best friend. That all changes when a secret is spilled about Y/N’s past.

WARNINGS: homophobic slurs, use of drugs and alcohol, ANGST (if you squint), fluffy ending, brief violence

WORD COUNT: 1.9k

The sound of a door slamming causes Y/N to jolt from his peaceful sleep. He groans sluggishly against his pillow and pulls the cover higher over his head. He doesn’t know who’s in his house, and he honestly doesn’t care. His dad left for a business trip a few days ago, so the question remains.

Y/N’s bedroom door opens for a brief moment before he feels a body bounce on his bed. He peeks over his covers and sees a grinning Jim Mason who lays beside him with his hands resting under his head.

“Surprised to see me?” Jim asks.

“What are you doing in my house?” Y/N mumbles and rubs his eyes to clear his blurry vision.

He watches Jim pull out a key from his jean jacket pocket. Y/N scoffs and rolls his eyes jokingly.

“I left that key outside for emergencies,” he emphasizes and plucks the key from Jim’s limp fingers.

Jim laughs quietly and stares up at the ceiling. Y/N took some time to observe the young man laying beside him. He can’t help the way his stomach tightens with knots every time he sees, hears, or even smells Jim. He has that certain affect on him. He tries not to show how Jim makes him feel, but it gets harder every time Jim is in a touchy feely mood when he’s high or coked out of his mind.

“You’re thinking too loud,” Jim mumbles jokingly and looks over at Y/N, his blue eyes scanning the young man’s face.

Y/N rolls his eyes again and gets out of his bed with a tired groan. He stretches his arms behind his back as his muscles tense. He rolls his neck and runs a hand through his messy bed head. He searches around the floor for the shirt he shrugged off in the middle of the night.

Unknown to him, Jim is watching his every move. His eyes trail over Y/N’s impressive physique. For some reason, every time Y/N takes off his shirt to get into the ocean, all Jim wants to do is see more.

He licks his lips and clears his throat as a blush coats his cheeks. He quickly looks away before Y/N can catch him. His mind is dizzy and his body feels like it’s on a cloud.

“What’d you take this time?” Y/N asks as he finally puts on his muscle tee. “Cause you sure as hell look like you’re enjoying the ride.”

Jim laughs and shakes his head. “I took some ecstasy and a few snorts of coke. Everything feels so…groovy.”

“Groovy?” Y/N sounds amused as he pulls on a pair of his favorite black jeans. “That’s a new one.”

Jim opens his mouth to say something, but he gets cut off by the front door slamming. He sends Y/N a confused look and receives the same thing. Before he has the chance to sit up, Y/N’s bedroom door swings open.

“Dad?” Y/N sounds shocked. “I-I thought you wouldn’t be back until Monday.”

Y/N’s father stares at Jim for a long time, then at Y/N. He has a stern look on his face and he clears his throat. He takes a step into the bedroom and Y/N takes a small step back. Jim notices and stands up.

“I didn’t know my son was having guests over,” Y/N’s father says, his voice low and gruff.

“This is, um, my friend…Jim. He got here a few minutes ago,” Y/N quietly states. “Jim…this is my…dad.”

“Uh, it’s nice to meet you, sir,” Jim politely says and holds his hand out.

Y/N’s father shakes it reluctantly while giving his son a look. Y/N looks down at the ground and crosses his arms tighter over his chest. He can feel his gaze piercing through his skull. He shifts uncomfortably.

“Well, I’d like to catch up with my son when you two get back from…where ever it is you’re going,” Y/N’s father says and leaves the two alone.

Y/N stays quiet as he pulls on his shoes. He grabs his phone, keys, and sunglasses and doesn’t spare Jim a glance.

“Let’s go,” Y/N says quietly and leaves the room with Jim closely following behind him.

When they get inside Y/N’s car, Jim bounces his knee up and down frantically as he rubs his palms together. He looks out the window and looks at the ocean. He can feel the drugs thrumming through his veins as he rests his head against the cool glass of the window.

“Hey,” Y/N nudges his bouncing knee. “You doing okay?”

Jim hums sluggishly.

“Your dad’s pretty…intense,” Jim says. “I don’t think he likes me.”

“Don’t worry,” Y/N mumbles. “He doesn’t like any of my friends.”

It was always like that. Y/N’s father would give any male friends the dirty parent look and his lips would snarl with disgust. Ever since they moved to Palos Verdes, Y/N made sure to never bring his friends over - guys and girls. They had to leave their other house because of rumors that were spread. His father was not amused.

“Where are we even going?” Y/N asks Jim and laughs deeply at his dopey look.

“Oh,” he lowly mumbles. “The beach. There’s another bonfire tonight.”

Y/N didn’t mask his annoyance. He loathed the parties on the beach that Chad throws. He fucking hated that guy. And he especially hated whenever Jim would take every single drug handed down to him, regardless of the side effects. It hurts to see him so dopey and out of his mind. It usually leads to Jim being aggressive or emotional. A combination of both is a nightmare. But Y/N makes sure that he’s always nearby in case things go downhill.

-

Y/N sits beside Jim on the log as he nurses down his second beer. It’s been hours since they got to the beach and the sun was already setting. He doesn’t feel a buzz just yet. Jim always teases him about how manly he is because he can handle his alcohol. Y/N would always roll his eyes and turn away to hide his blush.

Tonight however, Jim seemed closer than usual. Always wanting to sit next to him, take a sip of his half empty beer, or even share his joint. Y/N doesn’t mind. In fact, he loves when Jim gives him any type of attention. It makes him feel special, even though Jim might be too high to know what he’s doing.

“You okay?” Y/N asks him close to his ear.

The waves were crashing against the shore and everyone was laughing too loud and talking too much. Jim hums and stares at the fire with expanded pupils.

“Yo, Y/N,” Chad suddenly says.

Y/N breaks his stare from Jim’s side profile and looks at Chad from across the fire. The douchebag has a cocky smirk on his dumb face as he knocks back a few sips of his beer. Y/N doesn’t say anything and waits for him to say something. His face is void of any emotion. Everyone seems to quiet down as they feel tension between both men.

“I don’t think we entirely know who you are. I’d like to know a little more about Jimmy’s dear friend,” Chad announces with a wide smile. “What made you wanna come down here?”

Y/N exhales sharply in the form of a chuckle.

“My dad got a job,” he kept his answer short.

“Really?” Chad questions and tilts his head as he stares at Y/N. “I was just wondering cause I heard some pretty interesting things from some people.”

Y/N’s blood ran cold as he stares at Chad. His jaw clenches and his nostrils flare. Of course, out of all the people in the fucking world, Chad would be the one to know. He already has a feeling on what the things that were said might be.

“And what was that, Chad,” he spits out his name.

Everyone is dead silent, except for the fire that’s crackling between them. Chad smirks mischievously and stares at Jim for a moment before looking back at Y/N.

“Y/N’s father and mine work together. And his dad said some things on why they had to move down here,” Chad says.

“What, did he fuck some girl or some shit?” One of the other guys drunkenly cackled as he sent Y/N an amused look.

“Not entirely,” Chad says.

“Shut up,” Y/N all but growls.

This seems to break Jim out of his drunken high. From the way Y/N sounds and his body’s tense like a dog that’s about to attack.

“What’s going on?” Jim asks.

“Turns out Y/N is a little fag,” Chad announces.

“That’s enough!” Y/N barks and stands up.

Almost immediately, everyone starts laughing as they stare at him. His face flushes with embarrassment as his heart drops to his stomach. When he looks at Chad, all he can see is red. He can’t stop himself. All he remembers is tackling Chad into the sand and plummeting his face with his fists. He can feel his skin breaking as bone smashes against bone. It had to take three guys, including Jim, to pull him off.

“Get off me!” Y/N yells and wipes his nose from when Chad decked him.

“Get the fuck out of here, fucking faggot!” One of the guys harshly shoves him.

“Guys, calm down for a second,” Jim tries to say as he holds Y/N back by his arms.

“Faggot!” The guys yell toward Y/N as the girls laugh.

Y/N wipes his nose and begins to walk away from all the laughter and harsh words thrown at him. He’s far enough to let out his unshed tears. He runs his hand throws his hair, tugging and scratching as he holds in his cries. He leans against the passenger door of his car to avoid being seen from the others.

“Fuck,” he sobs into his hands.

“Y/N,” he hears a few feet away.

Y/N wipes away his tears and sniffles as he stands straighter and looks down at his bruised knuckles and broken skin. He shakes his head to himself and licks the tears from his lips.

“I’m, uh, gonna go. I got a big day tomorrow,” Y/N tells him quietly. “You should get a ride from the others.”

“Don’t do this,” Jim pleads quietly as he takes a few small steps closer, but still keeping some distance.

“Don’t do what?” Y/N bitterly laughs as he feels a new wave of tears wash over. “You heard them, Jim. I’m a fucking faggot.” His voice wavers.

Jim stays silent as he stares at his broken friend. The only friend he can consider being close to. The only friend that accepted him. The only friend that loves him.

“You think I care about any of that?” Jim asks him softly as he stands in front of him now. “I don’t give a shit if you like guys, Y/N. I care about you. You’re my only friend.”

“What about those douchebags?” Y/N mutters.

“They give me drugs and shit, but they’re not close to being on your level,” he tells him and takes a finally forward until the tips of their shoes are touching.

“It’s always been like this,” Y/N whispers and wipes his tears. “I was never…accepted by anyone. My fucking father is ashamed in having a kid like me. No matter what I do, nothing’s ever enough for him because of one fucking difference.”

Jim wraps his arms around Y/N’s shoulders and pulls him in. He buries his face in the crook of his neck and inhales his scent as he cries against his shoulder. Jim grabs the back of his neck and pulls away for a brief moment to place his lips on Y/N’s. They’re both holding their breath. Y/N sighs softly and gently grabs Jim’s hips to pull him closer to his body.

Their lips collided with such movement that it makes Jim feel like he’s on the best drug there is. He’s dizzy and his lips are buzzing, body humming and mind swimming. Y/N lets out a quiet moan as they both pull away. They’re both quiet as Jim rests his forehead against Y/N’s. They laugh quietly.

“I got the munchies,” Jim suddenly mumbles, his lips brushing against Y/N’s lightly, breath spewing over them.

Y/N laughs quietly and pecks his lips as he grips Jim’s hips tighter.

“Just stay like this with me for a little,” Y/N whispers.

“Okay,” Jim whispers.

[maddiemccarthy]

DATE & TIME: December 20, afternoon

LOCATION: The Little Flower Shop

TAGGING: Noah Puckerman @thepuckrmn​

NOTES: The boy needed a hug, okay?

Puck cursed softly to himself as he walked down the sidewalk. With everything that was going on, he completely forgot that Hanukkah was right around the corner. He usually bought Sarah a couple of things for the first night, and he knew she needed a distraction now more than ever. He spotted the flower shop up ahead and decided to duck in there to see if he could find her anything nice. Puck rolled his eyes at the stares he got from the people on the street. His unkept hair, dark circles under his eyes, scabbed up knuckles, and the fact that he probably still smelled like whiskey all pointed to the fact that he was in mid-spiral. He entered the store and was immediately overwhelmed by all of the variety of flowers in front of him. He was never really a flower buying guy to be honest. Looking around, he spotted someone who looked like they worked their and approached them. “Hey. This is gonna sound dumb. Do you guys have any Hanukkah-y flowers? Or like I dunno. What do you get your pregnant sister that says ‘the kids will be cool’ and ‘Happy Hanukkah’ at the same time?” Puck asked before they even had the chance to turn around. His eyes widened once he realized who he was talking to. “Oh. Shit. Hey. I didn’t know you worked here.”

With her last day of work upon her, Madison was shuffling about trying get all the ducks in a row for her absence. Keeping an organized store and office helped, but it was the end of the year, five days til Christmas, things were a little nuts. Truthfully, she was avoiding customer interactions as much as possible, the staff more than plentiful to handle the needs, but when Puck approached she knew she couldn't not attend to a friend, especially when said friend looked so rough. "Hey, yourself," she greeted in return, pausing to wonder if she should press about his appearance, but figured they could get the business out of the way to start. "We've got some Hanukkah arrangements made, if you want the baby factor in there, we'd probably  have to make some adjustments." She'd put in for extra when Hunter had ordered his flowers for the holiday. The Berrys and Puckermans were no small part of the town, nor were they the only Jewish families around. "I can show you?"

He nodded at her suggestion and ran a hand through his hair to try and attempt to calm down whatever was going on up there. “I guess let me look at the Hanukkah arrangements first and then we’ll go from there. I can’t tell if she’s super pumped about the babies so I don’t wanna push it, you know?” he replied before following her to the mentioned arrangements. Puck glanced down at her pregnant belly for a moment before smiling softly up at her. “You look good. You getting excited?” He had learned from Quinn that no pregnant woman actually wanted her belly touched or her size commented on. His scabbed hand reached out to inspect one of the Hanukkah arrangements in front of him. “Flowers are so weird. It’s like…here’s this pretty living thing…watch it slowly die on your coffee table…it means I care.” Chuckling, he shook his head. “I know I’m not making any sense. I also don’t know which one of these looks best so I’ll trust whatever you say.”

"Babies?" she echoed, prying gently as she led him a few steps away. It was a small corner that wasn't decked in reds and greens, but she liked to think they'd covered something for every budget all the same. At his question, Madison smiled at him and nodded. "Yeah, we're a week or so from the due date. I'm getting really anxious to meet him," Madison told him, her eyes following the movement of his hand, pausing to examine the blemishes. Something was definitely not right. Or hadn't been right? "You okay?" she finally asked, pausing briefly enough to make it clear it was a genuine question, but not lingering long enough on it to force him. "Trusting a sales person is only gonna get you the biggest, most expensive one, you know?"

He nodded at her prying. “Twins. Gonna be a double full uncle in 5 months,” he replied, “I happy for you guys. I mean Ben is a complete idiot…but he’s an alright dad. I’m sure the little one is gonna be awesome.”  Puck noticed her checking out his fucked up knuckles. He stuck his hands in his pockets and shrugged at her question. “Yea…I’m fine. Everything is gucci,” he said unconvincingly. Clearing his throat, he turned to face the arrangements next to him. “I’ll spend whatever. I don’t really care.” And it was the truth. It was hard for him to actually care about anything right now.

Madison's eyes grew a little in surprise. She knew the stressful feeling of anticipating one baby when she wasn't sure how to feel yet. Imagining it was two? "Congrats? If you're excited about it. If not... sorry? or good luck? Luck probably either way," she reasoned, then chuckled, "I honestly can't even argue with him being an idiot. But thanks." Gucci Her eyes rolled as she sighed. "I keep telling you gucci isn't a thing. It's a brand. You don't have to talk about it. But you don't have to lie about it either. Fine doesn't have busted knuckles," she told him gently.  She picked up one of the vases, "get this one. It's big enough to be noticed, but not take up too much space. It won't take much maintenance because being a nurse is enough work without everything else she has going on. And, with your friends and family discount, you won't be too broke for the other seven nights of Hanukkah."

He shrugged at her reply. “I don’t actually know how I feel yet. Still in a little bit of shock. She’s the smart one in the family. So I definitely wasn’t expecting this. Ask me again closer to her due date.” Puck rolled his eyes right back at her. “If it’s in Urban Dictionary then it’s definitely a thing. You’re just not cool enough to get it,” he shot back, ignoring the second half of her comment. Nodding at her suggestion, he reached out to take the vase into his own hands for a closer look. As he turned it, his eyes couldn’t help but land on his bruised knuckles. Puck sighed and dropped his gaze to the floor. “…I saw my dad,” he said simply. He wasn’t sure how much she knew about Papa Puckerman, but assumed that being involved with Ben meant she knew at least some of their dysfunctional family history. “It didn’t end well….obviously.”

"Fair enough. If you need uncle practice in the meantime, he might only be a half-nephew, but the excessive and rugged handsomeness will surely make him ignore that detail," she teased, though the offer was sincere. She'd never tried to force the family bond too hard. Puck and Ben weren't exactly close as brothers, but she'd never turn away family if they wanted to be there. "There's a lot of things in Urban Dictionary that shouldn't be used. And Gucci is on that list," Madison insisted. She was quiet when he spoke again, imagining a few different scenarios for what exactly seeing the man meant. Puck looked rough, but he didn't look like he'd taken any punches. She rested a hand on his forearm, tentatively giving him a gentle squeeze in some form of silent support. Maybe he'd continue, maybe he'd take interest in the flowers again, but either way, she wanted him to know she was there.

“Excessive and rugged handsomeness is a very very important part of being an uncle,” he smirked back. “We’ll see though. I don’t think me and Ben in the same room is a good idea…especially if you want family photos that don’t involve him rocking the Rocky Balboa look.” He looked down at her hand on his arm. He knew she wanted to make sure he was okay and he knew she knew that he was not okay. But he couldn’t tell her everything. Not when she was so close to Ben. Sighing, he put the vase down on the shelf. “He hurt someone I care about. So I hurt him. I paid him off and told him to leave town and never come back. Which means I bough us about two months of Papa Puckerman free life…until he runs out of money and comes back to ruin someone else’s life.”

"Fortunately Gabe and I can roam free of Ben from time to time. If you want," she told him, still not really understanding the entirety of that situation. But that could wait, couldn't it? Keeping them separated kept conflict at bay and that was enough for now. "And that's the vicious cycle?" Madison asked curiously. It would be a lie to say she didn't have curiosities about the infamous man, for gossip's sake alone, but even more because her son came from that. "Do you feel any better having done all of that? Knowing he's gone, even if temporarily?"

“You sure? Because I’m pretty sure you’re literally stuck with Ben until that kid turns 18.” Puck shrugged at her follow up questions. “That’s the vicious cycle. Dad needs money. He shows up. Causes a bunch of shit. I pay him to leave and to not contact ma. He leaves for a bit. Then always finds his way back. Usually most people at least know OF him by now to avoid him at all costs. Wasn’t the case this time.” He crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head. “Does it look like I feel any better? I don’t think he’s actually gone. He’s just laying low. There are too many Puckermans in this place for him to completely disappear. You know…Ben is kinda lucky. I wish dad knocked up ma and just fucking left her. Having a dad for eight years just to have him up and leave is worse than never having a dad at all,” he commented bitterly. “By the way, Peyton and I have torpedoed so if you wanna go make out in the back room I’m down,” he added, trying to lighten up the conversation.

"Doesn't mean we have to be together twenty-four seven," she pointed out. Puck wasn't wrong, he didn't look good. But she hadn't seen him for days either, so this could, in fact, be better than he'd been. "If you stopped giving him money, would he keep coming back?" Madison challenged carefully. "Ignore him and he'll go away is such elementary bullshit advice, but if he can't get what he's coming for..." It probably wasn't her place to be offering advice, she knew.  "For whatever it's worth, I'm sorry you went through all of that, then and now. You don't deserve to have people like that around you." She swatted at his arm then and shook her head defiantly. "What is it with Puckermans and wanting to make out in the backroom?" she teased, "besides, we've gone through the many reasons why it could never happen."

“If I stop giving him money he’ll ask my mom. Or Sarah. Or reach out to anyone with his last name. I’d rather deal with it myself. Maybe me actually hitting him this time will change something. But I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.” Puck shrugged and dropped his arms to his side. “You never hooked up at work? I’ve hooked up at work a bunch of times. The first time Peyton and I hooked up was at the studio. I think it’s the risk of being caught and getting paid while you’re fucking,” he explained with a smirk, “hey I held up my half of the deal. Just waiting for you.” He picked up the vase she suggested. “I think I’ll go with this one. Thank you, McCarthy…for everything.”

Madison nodded along with his reasoning. On some level she could relate to the need to be the protector, even if her circumstances were far from relatable. She would hope it worked the way he wanted it to. What else could she do? "Oh, no, I hooked up at work," she admitted, gesturing to the whole of her belly. "Maybe that's my aversion to it." She only shook her head at his insistence, but that was the game they played anymore, wasn't it? "C'mere," she said in a brief warning, before tucking into his side and squeezing a hug around him. "Wash your hair before you see Sarah, okay? And brush your teeth, with toothpaste, instead of Jack," she recommended, and while her tone was light, her face made it clear it was serious business. "Door's always open, Puck."

Puck dropped his gaze to her belly and raised an eyebrow. “Well shit. Nice work, Madison.” Her warning didn’t give him enough time to dodge the affection. He awkwardly placed his arm around her and patted her shoulder slightly. “I hate hugs…” he muttered, but let it happen. He let go and reached into his wallet to pull out the appropriate amount of cash. “But if Ke$ha brushes her teeth with a bottle of Jack why can’t I,” he joked as he handed her the money. Tucking the vase under his arm, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “I’ll catch you around, beautiful.” Smirking, he turned around to leave the store.

[fearingtwd]

What Honesty Gets You (Chris Manawa Imagine)

prompt:  I NEED A CHRIS IMAGINE. I'm coping with his death by reading :,) could i have one where y/n is pregnant and it's his and they're on the boat

requested: by anonymous word count: 7,484 warnings: language, suggestive themes

a/n: this will probably have a part two eventually also its slightly au bc they left the boat after like 6 episodes in the show and honestly? im here for boat shenanigans. they coulda stayed on the abigail the rest of the show bickering and i woulda eaten it up also i went a lil overboard with this imagine no boat pun intended lets fcking gooo

masterlist

It was never silent on the boat, not even at night when everybody was below deck sleeping. You could hear the sound of waves smacking against the side of the ship. It took a while for you to be able to find that noise mixed with the hum from the engine relaxing enough to fall asleep. Now, you’d have no problem drifting off. All you needed was darkness and the reassurance that Alicia was in the room with you. After everything that’s happened, you were admittedly too frightened to sleep in a room alone. Or maybe you were just scared of being alone in general. 

How you ended up with the Clarks with your family out of the picture was quite a long story and you tried not to relive it since you didn’t know their fate. But having no blood relatives on board did make you feel lonely. Even though Madison treated you like a daughter, you weren’t naive enough to believe that if God forbid something happened where she could only save you or Alicia, she would ever choose saving you over her biological daughter. 

So maybe that’s why you felt you had to get close with somebody. 

You first approached him after he practically tossed his deceased mother overboard. What better way to bond with someone than to talk about how shitty the universe was treating you both? He wasn’t amused and had no desire to talk to you. You respectfully gave him the space he needed, but hell if he thought that would be the last time you tried to talk to him. 

It took him a while to open up to you, and you never pushed him to. Every time he did, it was because he was ready. Even with the world ending all around you, every time you sat down and talked with him, you felt a sense of safety - like, perhaps if the infected started falling from the sky, he might be the first one to pull you inside and save your life. It was a heartwarming thought. 

He sought you out one night, surprisingly in the mood to talk. You were wide awake because Alicia was spending the night on deck. He sat in your bunk and while he spoke about his life before the outbreak, you were staring at his lips. Thankfully, there was little to no light in the room because your cheeks were undoubtedly flushed. And you were so lost in your own thoughts about how handsome he looked in the dimness, you didn’t even realize he had stopped talking and noticed where your glance had fallen. 

“Y/N?”

The sound of your name is what brought you back to the moment. “What?”

You couldn’t tell for sure, but he seemed to be fighting back a smirk. “Are you okay? You looked, um, a little out of it for a minute.” 

Your heart skipped a few beats when you realized he must have noticed you staring - so you attempted to play it cool. “Yeah, sorry. Sometimes my mind just, you know, kind of wanders off.”

He gave a nod. “So what were you thinking about?” 

Oh, you know, just thinking about kissing you all over your face and telling you that I think I’m totally falling for you. The usual. 

“Dogs,” you blurted out. 

“You were thinking about dogs?” He raised an eyebrow.

It was random but you had to go along with it. “Yeah, ‘cause the world as we know it has fallen off the deep end and people are dying and coming back to life, but I hope there’s somebody back on land taking care of all the dogs.” 

He stifled a laugh. “Alright, fair enough. Wanna tell me what you were really thinking now?” 

You felt the air was punched right out of your lungs. There was no doubt in your mind that his question visibly caught you off guard. Lying to get out of it again would be a waste of time. The room was quiet, save for the humming of the engine and the ocean waves. 

Biting your lip, you decided to just be frank about how talking to him made you feel lately. You admitted that you enjoyed his company, more than anyone else on board. You told him you found him undeniably attractive. And finally, you confessed that you were thinking about kissing him. 

His response, after a brief moment of utter shock, was to press his mouth against yours. You almost gasped as your lips connected. It didn’t remain the tender kiss it started as. It turned into sloppy, hungry kisses filled with pure desire. And you were okay with that because you suddenly felt as close with a person as you could ever be. 

When you woke up, the room was bright and you were alone. Alone and topless. You shuffled out of the bed to find your bra, clipping it on as Alicia walked into the room. 

“Sorry, didn’t realize you were getting dressed,” she muttered. 

If only she knew the half of it. 

.

You half-expected things with Chris to be completely awkward following your night of romance, but they weren’t. Around everybody else, you both acted like nothing happened. But when you were alone, you were holding hands and still enjoying each other’s company.

To be honest, you were getting sick of living on The Abigail. So when Madison said they should make a trip to land soon just to stock up on supplies, you nearly jumped for joy. You would have really jumped if you weren’t nauseous. You had been feeling lousy the past couple days and with all the sudden nausea, you were sure it was your body telling you to get off the boat for a while. 

The next morning as Strand was docking the Abigail, you awoke feeling sick to your stomach again. When you got on deck, you unexpectedly ran to the side of the ship and vomited. Everyone stopped and stared, and Chris was the first to approach you carefully.

“You okay?” he asked in a soft voice.

Before you could respond, Strand interrupted, “You better not have gotten your upchuck on the side of my boat.” 

You glanced down. You did, a little bit. But you weren’t going to say anything. You leaned your forehead against the banister, feeling a bit dizzy. It’s not like you had much in your stomach to puke up.

“Maybe you caught a stomach bug or something,” Chris suggested. You weren’t sure, but it certainly wasn’t unlikely. With everyone cramped in such a tight space, somebody was bound to get sick.

When you felt okay enough to walk back inside, Madison glanced at you. “You’re not coming with us. You need to get some rest.”

“I’m not just going to sit here and do nothing,” you countered, wanting to contribute. The last time you went to land, you were gathering belongings from a plane crash and that didn’t end up working out very well. You knew things could go wrong and you wanted to be there to help out in case they did. 

Ofelia stood up from the couch. “Don’t worry, Y/N. I’ll be on board too.” She was still nursing her shoulder though it had begun to heal nicely, all things considered. There was no use in fighting, so you just nodded. 

Alicia grinned, “Hey, if we can find clothes, I’ll pick you up something nice.” 

“Yes, but clothes is not at the top of our list,” Madison said. “Food, medicine-”

“Feminine napkins,” Alicia added. “We’re almost out.”

Were you guys running low? You didn’t even notice. It had been a while since you last ransacked the bathroom looking for some. 

Everybody was ready to head off. Strand, Ofelia, and yourself stayed behind. 

In all the chaos of everybody figuring out who was going to wander off in which direction in what groups, you pulled Chris aside. “Be careful, okay?” you whispered. 

He nodded, “Of course.”

“And don’t wander off this time,” you lectured. 

Rolling his eyes, he replied, “Got it.” 

You weren’t trying to patronize him and you realized that’s how it probably came across. You genuinely just wanted him to be safe. Before he could walk away, you grabbed a hold of his arm. He seemed taken aback. “I mean it. I want you to come back in one piece, okay?”

“Okay.” 

Travis’ voice calling out for Chris startled you both. He said goodbye and shuffled off. As soon as he was out of your line of sight along with Alicia, Travis, Nick, Madison and Daniel you walked down to your shared room with Alicia to relax. 

You had about two minutes to yourself before Strand burst into your room, yelling about how you did get puke on the boat. You told him to clean it with his ego and then locked yourself in the bathroom. 

You stared at yourself in the mirror. The bags under your eyes weren’t as awful or prominent as you thought they’d be. Your mind wandered back to Alicia’s comment about feminine napkins earlier. Pads. You and Alicia had been on the same cycle, presumably since you spent so much time together after being locked in the military safe zone at the start. It had been well over a month since you last got your period - if you calculated the days correctly, that is. You stood in confusion, even pulled your pants down to check if you got your period without realizing it. You didn’t. 

And then a surge of panic ran through your veins. You exited the bathroom on a mission. Ofelia was sitting by the swimming deck. She smiled as you took a seat beside her. 

“You feeling any better?” she asked sweetly. 

Less nauseous? Yes. Better? No. 

“A little bit. If I ask you something, can you promise to keep as neutral a reaction as possible to maybe keep me from freaking out?” you asked, toying with a loose thread at the hem of your shirt. You felt like your throat was closing. 

“Sure,” she answered wearily.

“So, I was just wondering, like, out of the blue this totally just popped into my head and I got curious. Um, have you ever been pregnant?” you rambled. 

She only raised an eyebrow in response and said, “No. Why?”

A gust of wind blew your hair to the side and you tossed it out of your face, trying to figure out what to say next. Your palms were growing clammy. So you took a deep breath and let it out slowly before softly telling her, “My period is late.”

“You’re probably just stressed, Y/N. I mean, you know what has to happen in order to get pregnant, right?” 

You groaned, thinking back on your time in health class. Oh, you definitely knew what had to happen. “Um, just forget this entire conversation, okay?” 

Before she could say anything, you were jogging back inside to the sleeping quarters to find your backpack. 

“What are you doing?” 

You let out a yelp and spun around. Ofelia was standing in the doorway. You didn’t even realize she followed you.

“You scared the shit out of me,” you said, putting a hand to your heart. 

She crossed her arms, eyes narrowed. “Sorry. Y/N, what are you doing?” 

“Nothing,” you said casually, tossing the backpack over your shoulder. “Just going for a walk.” Except she wouldn’t let you past. “Do you want to, like, move please?” 

“Tell me what you’re doing,” she demanded. There was a part of you that was flattered she seemed to care, maybe she was even worried about you. But the other part of you needed her to get out of your way. 

Tightening your grip on the backpack strap, you let out a frustrated huff of air. “Not to be rude or anything, but it’s none of your business.” 

“I think you made it my business when you started asking me about being pregnant - which by the way, how old do you think I am?” 

You bit the inside of your cheek, ignoring that you might have offended her. Besides, it wasn’t that uncommon for young unmarried women to have kids or at least pregnancy scares. It was fairly modern. 

“Look, I... I have to... I’m feeling better and if I leave now I can catch up with Alicia and-”

“Y/N, please. Just tell me the truth.” 

Telling the truth was what got you into this situation, wasn’t it? You told Chris how you felt about him and now were nauseous, lethargic, your period was late, and in all honesty your boobs seemed to have swelled and gotten a little bigger. The last point wasn’t entirely negative though. But, you were already in this situation. And maybe being truthful this time around wouldn’t bite you in the ass. You didn’t regret your night with Chris. It was a little clumsy and awkward, but sweet too, and it felt so good. However, you wished you took some precaution.  

“The truth is I think I’m having a baby and I’m fucking terrified.” You didn’t even recognize your voice. It sounded so distant, and your eyes were welling up with tears, about to burst out. 

Great. Add overemotional to the list too. 

Ofelia only tilted her head in confusion. “I don’t understand. How could you be having a baby?” 

“I got a visit from the stork,” you said bitterly, wiping away a stray tear. 

She didn’t seem to appreciate your sarcasm and let out a loud breath. There was a brief silence and you watched her expression change from frustration to utter shock. 

“What?” you asked softly. 

“Is it Nick?”

“Is what Nick?” 

“The baby, is it Nick’s? You know, if there is one...”

You would have laughed if you weren’t entirely hellbent on getting off to the boat. You just wanted to find a pharmacy. Surely there would still be some pregnancy tests left. 

“If you move out of the way I’ll tell you,” you prompted. 

She didn’t seem interested in your game. “What are you going out there for?” 

You shrugged your shoulders. Might as well keep up some of the honesty thing you had going. “A pregnancy test.”

“Just wait for everybody to get back. We’ll just find one tomorrow.”

“Uh, if I’m knocked up I’d like confirmation of that as soon as possible,” you uttered. 

Ofelia sighed. “You don’t care what I say, you’re still going today, aren’t you?” 

“Yeah.”

“Okay. Well, I’m not letting you go alone. I’ll grab some water for the road. Meet me upstairs.” 

.

Strand had no problem letting you both leave. He called it foolish, but he didn’t try to stop you. He also didn’t bother asking why. 

It surprisingly didn’t take you very long to stumble across a pharmacy that was already broken into. Ofelia killed one infected that was inside and sauntered to the back of the store, kitchen knife and backpack in tow, while you rushed towards the aisle with the tests. The whole pharmacy was turned over top to bottom, but there was one box left with one pregnancy test inside. If you weren’t an anxious mess, you would have laughed at the coincidence. 

You shoved it in your pack and turned to leave. A rotting corpse walking through the shattered doorway stopped you in your tracks. You weren’t sure you would ever get used to seeing dead people walking around. The whole store smelled like decomposing flesh already, but the stench from the infected galloping towards you made your stomach lurch. Ofelia quickly put down the infected and glanced over at you. 

“You good?”

You were hunched over, trying to swallow the bile you felt rising in your throat. But you gave her a thumbs up anyway. 

“We should really get going,” she urged. 

You nodded and stood up properly and made slow strides to the door. 

Your journey there was entirely silent. The walk back, on the other hand, was filled with Ofelia prying into your private life. She kept wanting to know if it was Nick’s baby and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t mildly offended that she didn’t even consider it could be Chris. 

You made it back on board with a few hours of sunlight still left in the day. The others weren’t back yet, but you were sort of glad about that. You hoped they were okay, but you needed the time to yourself. 

You locked yourself in the bathroom for the second time that day - except this time you had a pregnancy test on the counter. Since you didn’t have a timer, you sat on the floor and counted the seconds. And when you were done, you still stayed seated, too scared to even think about standing up. 

A loud knocking on the door made you flinch. 

“Y/N? Is everything, um, okay?”

It was Ofelia trying and failing to be discreet. You ignored her, pulling your legs close to your chest and lowering your head. You just wanted to go back in time and make sure that you wouldn’t end up in this situation. You were so scared. Being pregnant after the end of the world was basically a death sentence, wasn’t it? 

She knocked again. “Come on, Y/N. Open up.”

Taking a deep breath, you got to your feet. Your hands were trembling. You had to force yourself to pick up the test and turn it over.

“Oh shit,” you whimpered as the red lines stared you right in the face. 

You were indeed pregnant. 

Your breath turned uneven and you couldn’t see anything through the waterfalls of tears that started running down your cheeks. This couldn’t be happening. This had to be a nightmare. There was no possible way you could carry a baby to full term and deliver it on a fucking boat with no doctor on board - never mind even raise it. You weren’t ready. Not even close. The thought of it being a false positive jumped into your mind, but you knew it wasn’t. You had all the symptoms. You couldn’t be that lucky. 

Ofelia knocking on the bathroom door again brought you back into the moment. So you angrily threw the test into the trash and swung the door open, rushing past her before she could get a word out. You slammed your bedroom door and collapsed into your bed, letting yourself sob into the pillow. If that didn’t make it obvious enough to Ofelia what the results were, that would be her own fault. 

You must have cried yourself dry and drifted into a light sleep because the sound of voices upstairs suddenly caught your attention. You could easily distinguish the voices. It was Madison, Alicia, and Nick. 

For a few seconds as you sat up, you weren’t thinking about the fact that you were knocked up. You were just glad they made it back alive. And curiosity about what they found brought you to your feet. When you got to the top of the stairs, Alicia jogged over to you and pulled you into a tight hug, asking if you were feeling better. Then she was excited to show you the clothes she found while Madison was unpacking and storing away cans of food. You were happy their outing was successful. But in the back of your mind you were terrified because it was completely dark outside and Chris, Travis, and Daniel were still out there.

Another part of you was worried Ofelia would spill the beans to everybody. You weren’t sure when you would feel okay enough to tell anybody else, especially Chris. So you hoped she would keep her mouth shut for now. 

.

The boat was still docked and you were sitting by the swimming deck, fighting to keep your eyes open. From the corner of your eye you saw Ofelia walking over to you, wrapping her sweater tighter around her body as a breeze flew by. She quietly took a seat next to you. 

“What are you doing out here?” she questioned. 

“Waiting for them to get back.”

“You worried?”

“Aren’t you?”

“Yeah, that’s why I couldn’t sleep.”

A semi-comfortable silence filled the air. You wished she hadn’t broken it.

“So, you really are pregnant? It was positive?” 

You glanced at her with pure panic in your eyes. All you could do was nod. 

She frowned. “You have to tell them, Y/N. You can’t keep this to yourself.”

“I don’t have to tell anyone,” you countered. “I can do whatever I want.”

You could tell she was frustrated with your attitude, but she remained calm. “If other people know, we can all help you. Everybody here cares about you. And don’t you think that Nick deserves to know-”

“Oh my god. Ofelia, it’s not-” You stopped yourself and thought about what exactly to say. “Look, I’m beyond tired right now. There’s literally a thing growing inside of me, like an actual human being forming. And I really don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want to think about it.” 

“Because you’re scared?”

You swallowed the lump in your throat and your eyes glossed over with tears. “What if it dies inside me? What if it, like, rips me apart?” 

“That won’t happen,” she whispered.

“You don’t know that,” you choked out, wiping your nose with your sleeve. 

She took a deep breath. “When we were at the pharmacy today... I had a feeling that you would take the test and it would be positive. So, I thought ahead. I brought back prenatal vitamins for you, Y/N. It will help keep the baby healthy, okay?”

Before you could respond, a flash light beaming in the distance caught the attention from both of you. Ofelia got up, swiftly approaching the side of the yacht. 

“Is it them?” you asked, trying to subdue your tears and worries for now. 

She didn’t answer until the light went off and they were close enough for her to squint and see. She smiled, “It’s them. They’re back.” 

When all three of them boarded, you stood in horror. They all looked distraught and Chris was covered in blood. 

Ofelia covered in mouth in disbelief. “What happened?” she inquired, taking a few steps closer to her father.

Daniel shook his head and motioned towards Chris. “Why don’t you ask the boy?”

You gulped as you turned to Chris, raising an eyebrow. “What happened out there? Are you guys okay?” 

“We’re fine,” he muttered, rushing inside. He threw his backpack down on the coffee table and was headed for the stairs when Travis called his name in quite possibly the most stern voice you had ever heard from him. Chris stopped short. 

“We have to talk about this,” Travis demanded in pure anger. Your heart was pounding. What the fuck happened?

He spun around and stood his ground. “I already told you there’s nothing to talk about.” 

“Chris, you could have gotten yourself killed,” Travis reprimanded. 

“It was a chance I was willing to take! We got the meds. Now no one on this boat has to get sick ever again.” 

And with that he stormed down the steps as Madison was coming up. She gave Travis a curious look and you decided to go after Chris. As you rushed down the stairs you saw the door to the sleeping quarters slam. He was on edge, no doubt, and you didn’t want to make it worse. But you also considered yourself as the only person on board who would ever take the time to actually listen and understand him - and you knew he knew that. So you started with a gentle knock. 

Silence. 

You knocked again putting a little more strength into it.

Silence.

You let out a frustrated breath and added, “Chris, it’s me.”

The door opened not a second later. You immediately noted that he discarded his blood-drenched sweatshirt and shirt. He moved aside to let you in and promptly shut the door behind you. 

There was another moment of silence, so you decided to be the first to speak, keeping your voice steady and filled with concern. “What happened out there?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “There was a room with a bunch of medication in it, antibiotics, vitamins, and like a dozen of the infected. It was like someone herded them all in there so no one would try to get to the meds. And my dad said it wasn’t worth the risk, but I knew it was. All we had to do was take out the infected and it would be a gold mine,” he explained. “Even Daniel said it wasn’t worth it so they started moving on, but I knew I had to do it with or without their help.”

“You know I told you not to wander off again,” you said, half-heartedly. 

He pursed his lips. “I know. But I did it for you, Y/N. You’ve been feeling sick lately and I just needed to help.”

You felt lightheaded at the gesture, but also panicked at the realization that he really had no idea what was really going on with you. You weren’t sick, you were pregnant. When you were going to tell him was beyond you. All you knew for sure was that he put himself in immense danger to make you feel better and your stomach had butterflies and you were so glad he was okay. 

You could feel your pulse racing through your veins as you stepped forward and lightly cupped his cheeks, your skin brushing against the smudged splatters of blood that were beginning to dry. You couldn’t think of anything to say, so you leaned closer to him, gently pressing your lips against his. His hands wandered to your lower back where his thumbs traced circles over the fabric of your sweater. 

This was the first time you two had kissed since that night. You pulled back and whispered, “You should probably take a shower.”

“What, do I smell?” he joked. 

You scrunched your nose and smiled. “Sorta. You’re also covered in blood.” 

“Fair enough.” He quickly pecked your lips once more before reaching for some clean clothes. 

You were sure you were blushing as you watched him stroll down the hallway to the bathroom. Once he was out of sight, you walked into your shared room with Alicia. She was sitting on her bunk. Her hair was wet; you assumed she had just cleaned up as well. 

“Hey,” you greeted. 

She slowly looked over at you. “There’s a pregnancy test in the bathroom trash,” she spoke softly. Your heart sunk and the boat engine started up. 

“Oh. Uh, whose do you think it is?” You hoped you sounded convincing. 

She sighed. “My mom, most likely. I don’t think she and Travis ever talked about having kids, it can’t be planned. Now isn’t exactly the best time to expand the family tree.” 

You nodded in agreement. 

The sound of the shower turning on reminded you that the test was still in the trash. You hoped Chris hadn’t seen it, but if he hadn’t then he might see it on his way out. 

You were exhausted and petrified, but the adrenaline that shot through your body in that moment made you feel truly alert. “I’ll be right back,” you told Alicia before leaving the room as casually as possible. 

The hallway was empty, so you rushed to the bathroom door. You slowly turned the knob, grateful that it was unlocked. You sifted through the trash for a moment and saw it. God, it was so obvious, it was practically right on top. You could only assume he didn’t see it. You weren’t even sure he knew you were in the room. The mirror that you had been staring in that same morning was steaming up, and it brought you back to how normal everything used to be. A soft moan to your side caught your attention. You leaned a little closer. It wasn’t like how the infected sound. In fact, it reminded you of the sounds from that night. And that’s when you realized what he was doing. 

Your jaw nearly dropped and you rushed out of there. You took your time closing the door so it didn’t make a loud clicking noise. 

“What are you doing?” 

You jumped and spun around to see Nick standing in front of you. You hid the pregnancy test, clear as day in your right hand, behind your back and leaned against the wall. “Oh, I was just... I had to take some Tylenol, I have a headache.” 

You were lying through your teeth. 

He looked skeptical and tilted his head to the side. “Okay. I hope it kicks in soon. You should get some sleep.” 

“Thanks.” You speed-walked to your room, quickly rushing over to your bag of clothes, slyly putting the pregnancy test at the bottom. When you stood up, Alicia was curiously watching you. You were holding some sweatpants to change into for the night. Thankfully, she thought nothing of your mildly frantic behavior and she rolled over and faced the wall.

. 

You don’t remember falling asleep, but you think it must have happened as soon as your head touched the pillow. You awoke to light filling the room and your body screaming that it still hadn’t had enough rest. You could take a hint, so you closed your eyes and drifted off again. 

The water was seeping into the raft. It would be minutes until it could no longer float. A hand on your knee felt reassuring until you looked down and noticed your basket ball sized stomach. You couldn’t help but start panicking. It was Chris by your side, but you didn’t feel safe anymore. He told you to start pushing. Suddenly Alicia was on your other side, she looked like she had seen a ghost. Keep pushing, Chris was telling you. Nothing was happening. And then you were screaming as you noticed your abdomen being ripped open from the inside. Chris was crying now and Alicia was gone. Maybe she fell into the water? You were sure you only blinked, but now Chris was cradling the baby in his arms. You watched him holding it with such love in his eyes as you drifted in the middle of the sea with a deflating raft. You would have started crying too until you noticed your baby start to decompose as if time was sped up somehow. Chris seemed unbothered as he handed the baby to you. The moment you touched it, it opened it’s eyes. They were yellow. Almost like a glowing yellow. It opened it’s mouth as if it scream and you saw razor sharp teeth right in front of your face- 

You woke up in a cold sweat. Whatever your subconscious was trying to tell you, it needed to be quiet. You slowly sat up, wiping beads off sweat of your forehead. That was when the nausea slowly crept up on you. Taking a few deep breaths to relax yourself, you noticed that Alicia wasn’t in her bed so you wondered what time it was. 

You decided to take a shower, still feeling a bit sluggish even as you got out and dressed yourself for the day. You assumed everyone was on deck so that’s where you went. 

Madison was in the kitchen, holding a glass of water. Ofelia and Alicia were on the couch playing a card game, Nick was watching them. 

“Good morning sleepyhead,” Madison said to you. “Nice of you to join us.”

You saw Chris sitting outside with his dad. Your cheeks burned as you remembered kissing him last night and hearing him in the shower. 

“You want to play?” Ofelia asked.

You reluctantly agreed, hoping your stomach would settle down. 

.

Strand stopped the boat and Daniel and Nick were fishing off the side, hoping for dinner. Chris had gone downstairs while Madison joined Travis outside. You wanted to follow Chris, but you also didn’t want to be obvious so you stayed where you were. 

“Y/N, are you feeling any better today?” Alicia questioned without warning.

Feeling Ofelia staring at you, you gave a quick shrug. “A little, I guess.” 

“That’s good.” You noticed Alicia glance outside at her mom and Travis. “Do you think he knows?” 

“What?” 

“Do you think he knows she’s pregnant?” 

Ofelia sat up straighter and you tried to keep your eyes from bugging out of your head. 

“What do you mean?” Ofelia asked. 

Alicia lowered her voice, even though nobody was around. “I found a pregnancy test in the bathroom last night and I think it’s positive.” 

“That’s- You think your mom took it?” 

“Yeah. Makes the most sense.” 

Ofelia glanced over to see your expression. Luckily you had perfected your poker face. 

“I’m going to ask her about it tonight. I’ll probably mention it to Nick before, too,” Alicia started explaining. 

There was no way this wouldn’t end in everybody learning the truth, but you were not ready. Not even close. 

She continued, “I really can’t believe they would be so reckless. Seriously, how dumb do you have to be to let yourself get knocked up while the world is turning to absolute shit?”

Ouch. That made your eyes start to water a bit. 

Ofelia chewed on her bottom lip as if she was in deep thought. She finally spoke, “Hey, maybe you should go ask them about it right now. I mean, the cat’s already halfway out of the bag, right?” 

“No,” you quickly interjected. “You should let them talk about it when they’re ready.” 

Alicia narrowed her eyes, and you wondered if she could see the pure panic happening inside your mind. “Are you okay?” she asked. Maybe your eyes were watering too much. 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You tried to laugh it off and turned everyone’s attention back to the game. After Alicia won, she went downstairs for a bathroom break. You took the time to clear things up with Ofelia. “Oh my god, she thinks it’s her mom. What the hell do I do?”

“Tell her the truth.”

“No, what do I do besides that?”

“Y/N, that’s all there is to do,” Ofelia said. “The prenatal vitamins are in my room by the way if you ever decide to start taking them which I think you should.” 

It took all you had to not burst into tears in that moment. You saw her point. Telling the truth to everybody would be best thing to do. You wouldn’t have to live with the secret anymore and perhaps the adults will be furious and Chris will be taken aback, but maybe it was best if they just knew already. 

You took a slow breath. “How do I tell them? How do I tell them without having everyone disappointed in me?”

She grabbed your hand for support. “You just tell them the truth, alright? Everybody here cares for you and they will have no choice but to come to terms with it, okay? And you have me on your side to start.” 

“Thank you,” you whispered. 

.

The setting sun cast a pink hue over the skyline and everybody was outside admiring it - except for Travis, who was finishing cleaning up dinner, and Strand, who was in the wheelhouse. You were planning on taking Ofelia’s advice and simply telling everyone, but you needed to tell Chris first. 

You stood next to Chris, asking to talk to him in private, and swiftly grabbed his hand and led him past his father and down the steps. Travis watched the two of you disappear downstairs, not knowing what to think. You supposed it didn’t matter if you weren’t being subtle anymore because everyone was going to know what was going on soon enough.

You entered your room and shut the door behind him. 

“Okay, what’s going on?” he asked. 

Your heart was pounding against your chest as you reached to the bottom of your bag and pulled out the pregnancy test. You gripped it tightly in your hands, feeling like you were going to pass out as you turned around to face him. The fear on your face was unmistakable. You were holding the test close to your chest, almost cradling it. 

Chris glanced at your hands. “What’s that?” 

You inhaled sharply before finding your voice. “Pregnancy test.”

He shifted uncomfortably on his feet. “What?” 

“It’s a pregnancy test,” you said, a little louder with as much confidence as you could muster.

“Why do you have that?” he asked wearily. 

Your mouth went dry and your tongue suddenly felt like sandpaper. “Because I took it.” 

He didn’t say anything. He just stared at you, eyes growing wider by the seconds. 

“It’s positive,” you told him, your nausea feeling worse than before. You looked down at the test in your hands, wanting nothing more than to run upstairs and throw it overboard. You began rambling, “It’s positive, so I-I guess I’m gonna have a baby unless it turns and eats me apart from inside or I die giving birth because that happens sometimes you know. I don’t want it to happen, but it could. It might.” 

When you finally looked up at him, he was cautiously taking a few steps toward you. He looked completely panicked. “Uh, I.... Um-”

“I’m sorry,” you uttered before he could get the words out. “I didn’t want to tell you, but I guess you deserve to know and you were going to find out eventually. Please say something.”

“You’re- Can I see that?” he asked softly. 

You nodded and showed him the test. 

“How do you know it’s positive?”

“’Cause it has the two lines.” 

“Holy shit,” he breathed out in absolute shock. 

“That’s exactly what I said,” you half-smiled at him, hoping to lighten the mood and break the extreme tension in the room. 

After a short silence, he pursed his lips and lowered his voice. “So, this isn’t like a joke? This is real?”

“It’s real, Chris. I wish it wasn’t, but it is.”

He gulped in response.

“You don’t hate me now, do you?”

Out of everything he’s learned in the past minute, that question seemed to take him by the biggest surprise. He quickly shook his head. “No. How could you even ask that, Y/N? I could never hate you. And this is my fault anyway.” 

And that was all it took for you to burst into tears. You had a sudden tidal wave of emotions rush through your body and you couldn’t hold it together. He didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you in a tight embrace. 

“I’m scared,” you sobbed into his shoulder.

“Me too,” he whispered.

.

“Dad, Y/N is pregnant. Dad, I got Y/N pregnant. I’m sorry, Dad, I didn’t realize that pulling out was an option.” Chris let out a scoff, “I can’t do this.”

“The first one sounded fine. And you’re not doing it alone, okay? I’ll be there too,” you explained. “I can even be the one to say it.”

He was pacing the room, trying to figure out how to tell his father. You were laying down on your bed, exhausted. You were always tired lately. Probably because your body was overworking itself forming a human. 

Sitting down at the edge of the bed, he gently rested his hand on your leg. “Look, you don’t have to be there if you don’t want to. He’s going to be mad.”

“It will be easier if we just tell him together, Chris,” you said. 

“But we don’t have to tell him today,” he countered. 

“You’re right, we don’t.”

He smiled.

You quickly added, “But we should.” 

His smile disappeared. He licked his lips, thinking what to say next. “Once he knows... once everyone knows, everything will be different.” 

“Everything is already different,” you whispered. 

He looked frightened, but you noticed him try to relax himself. He leaned forward. “I’m sorry,” he said softly before kissing your forehead. 

You quickly sat up. “Don’t apologize. Do I want to have a baby? No, not really. But I am. We are. And... we both... It was both of us.” 

He let out a slow breath, about to say something. A knock on the door interrupted him and startled you both. “Y/N? Chris?” 

It was Travis. Surely he had gotten suspicious of you and Chris running off hand in hand and decided to check in. 

You both shared a nervous glance. “It’s open,” you decided to call out. Neither of you bothered to move as the door opened and Travis peeked his head inside. 

“Hey,” he greeted. “Everything alright?”

Chris nodded. “Yeah, everything’s fine.” 

“Well, everybody is upstairs and I just couldn’t help but notice that you were both in a rush to get down here,” he pointed out, stepping further into the room. 

“Uh, yeah. Actually, there’s something we need to tell you,” you stammered. 

This caught his attention. He raised his eyebrows and shrugged, “Okay.”

“I feel like you should sit down,” you advised. 

A nervous chuckle escaped his lips. “You’re scaring me a little.” 

Madison appeared in the doorway behind Travis. Telling them both at the same time would be killing two birds with one stone, but you decided you wanted to tell Alicia at the same time too. So you got to your feet. “We should all go upstairs.” 

You could sense the tension as you motioned for Travis and Madison to take a seat on the couch. Chris was simply watching you take control as you walked outside to get Alicia. In doing so, you grabbed the attention of everyone else. And suddenly everybody was sitting inside, even Strand who joined out of curiosity. 

He poured a glass of whisky. “Let’s make this quick,” he urged. 

You swallowed, squeezed your eyes shut, and took a deep breath to calm your heart rate. 

“Okay, um, I’m... I’m pregnant,” you admitted. 

Alicia’s eyes widened. She looked... betrayed? You couldn’t tell. And you suddenly felt like crying. 

Travis stood up slowly. “Chris?”

“Yeah?” His throat felt dry.

“Is this... A-Are.... Did you... I-” 

“It’s mine,” he confirmed. 

Nick leaned against the couch and snorted, “Maybe we should look for condoms the next time we go to shore.”

“It’s a little late for that,” you contended. 

“How long have you known?” Madison asked. She seemed oddly calm. 

“Since yesterday,” you answered. 

“You were never sick. You were pregnant,” she realized. 

You nodded. 

Travis started shaking his head. “No, this has to be a mistake. How can you know?” 

“I took a pregnancy test-”

“Where the hell did you get a pregnancy test? I can’t imagine Strand had one lying around on the boat.” 

“After everybody left, I went to shore too and found one.” 

Chris, who didn’t know that, narrowed his eyes. “You went out there alone?” 

“No, I wasn’t alone. Ofelia went with me.”

Daniel looked at his daughter with disapproval and you felt a little bad for ratting her out, but there was no use in lying about it. 

“Okay, so you took one test. That doesn’t mean it’s accurate,” Travis exclaimed. 

Madison let out a loud, disappointed sigh. “No, she has all the symptoms. I can tell.” 

“She’s just a little sick. It’s not-”

“She’s been feeling nauseous, she puked, and she’s always tired.”

Nick absentmindedly chimed in again. “And her boobs are bigger.”  

Everybody gave him a glare and he hunched over, presumably understanding that he should stay quiet for now. 

“Travis, I’ve been through it. I know,” Madison told him. 

“And you’re okay with this?” he nearly shouted. 

That was when Madison angrily stood up. “No, I’m not okay with this. Not at all. But there’s nothing we can do about it.” 

“Dad, I’m sorry,” Chris mumbled. 

“Hey, I don’t want to hear it right now, Chris. Do you even realize what you’ve done?”

You stepped closer to Chris defensively, clinging onto his arm. “Don’t be mad at him.”

“He got you pregnant, Y/N.”

“You’re really going to make me say it? It takes two to tango,” you replied angrily. 

“I, um.... I just need to think.” Travis sighed and walked outside dramatically. 

“So, are we going to have to listen to a screaming baby on board?” Strand wondered, prompting another sip of his drink. 

You felt defeated. You truly expected Travis to handle it better. He always seemed like the reasonable and rational one. But, perhaps finding out he’s going to be a grandfather was enough for him to not be able to remain stable.

You frowned and made awkward eye contact with Alicia for a moment, who quickly got to her feet and rushed down the stairs. 

“I imagined this going better,” you whispered to Chris. He simply placed a kiss on your temple to comfort you. 

[morgantakestinder]

San Frantastic (or the Longest Date Ever)

This stunning photo of me and Alcatraz is courtesy of Prost and our whirlwind long weekend together in San Francisco. Despite only having known him for a month, I managed to enjoy some of my favourite things with him including Halloween, wine, warm gooey cookies, hotel rooms, Marvel movies, and finally the stunning west coast paradise of San Francisco. Considering that this blog was reignited in this crazy city, I was psyched to come back not too long after, although I can honestly say that until I pulled up to our airbnb I couldn’t believe that I was actually taking this trip with a Tinder date!

Unlike a regular date I’m not exactly sure how to write about this one as I don’t want to bog readers down with the inane details of every uber ride, drink, or sight that we experienced together over 4 days. That sounds terribly boring. So I think I’ll break it down into categories, maybe? An odd way to explain a date/trip but this is uncharted territory for me...

 Sights & Adventures

In only a few short days I felt like we covered a lot of ground. Prost booked us Alcatraz tickets before we got there ensuring that I got to see another creepy prison (I’ve got a thing for desolate places...) that I missed out on last trip. This was fantastic and we spent a large chunk of the afternoon wandering the island while I made more than too many Aussie convict jokes. We also did a fair bit of wandering back on the mainland and watched the city get dark on the pier. Also a new adventure for me, is we checked out the Exploratorium which is basically a kickass science museum and I was science fangirling hard. I found it really sweet that Prost was willing to spend $30 to indulge my science teacher desires. (Also, there is a really great observation deck that made for a pretty cute photo of the two of us...) Back out and about we hiked up Lombard St, which has great views if you don’t care about being able to feel your calves the next day - should have known better than to go to a hilly city with a guy who circumnavigated Manhattan on foot. Many of our other moments together I took right out of my playbook from my not-dates with Wino from my last weekend in SF. I know it sounds a bit like cheating, but if I had all these cute, almost romantic moments then, why not have actual cute romantic moments now that I was properly available. So we did sunset at Baker Beach and stayed until well past dark. And we walked across the Golden Gate Bridge and all the way to Sausalito until we got the ferry back across the windy but stunning bay. I wouldn’t say it was 100% Hollywood movie material but the whole thing was pretty darn cute.

Noms & Bevvies 

Prost and I went for dinner together right before leaving the east coast and he mentioned that he not only was not a picky eater, but also was quite adventurous with food and loved good food so I was pleased when this was 100% accurate. Nothing to ruin a good trip like someone who can’t find anything on the menu or has bizarre dietary requirements. While my last trip to SF was all about wine, this one was all cocktails! We had lovely drinks on a cool outdoor terrace (recommended to me by none other than Ted Mosby from last trip) but the best drink moment was at this piratey, cramped, dark bar that made dozens of cool and delicious rum drinks. I was in rum heaven and we stayed there for hours looking over all the exciting options, including ones with edible flowers. Vibes 10/10. Drinks 10/10. But the indulging didn’t stop there! We also managed to eat wayyy too much ice cream, empanadas, tim tams, chocolate (for breakfast I might add), pastries, fried chicken and waffles, noodles, toast, fried fish, calamari, and prawns, and really not a whole lot of veg... oops, bye diet. We ate a lot of really scrumptious things but a few stood out to me the most. One was breakfast at Bluestone Lane, an Aussie coffee place, that just opened their first west coast location. And when I say just opened, literally we walked in on opening day! It’s one of my locals back home so I was delighted to get a spot on cup of coffee and just chill out of the rain. Prost doesn’t like coffee, but per usual, he indulged my whim with zero complaints. He does however like hot chocolate so at least he’s not anti hot beverage. His coffee behaviour though is really quite odd for a Melburnian though! Our last day we had another breakfast meal at a Southern inspired joint in the Mission and we both were in full brunch mode: drinks, beignets, and full plates of chicken and waffles. Honestly, I know it gets a lot of hype but brunch is clearly the best meal of the day and I also really just enjoyed being able to spend my last meal looking over the table at this really cute bloke I���d been lucky to spend so much time with.  But by far the best meal was at a tiny little fish and chips shop in Sausalito, up the high street, where we sat casually eating fish and chips out of takeaway boxes and drinking beers. I’m not always the “cool girl” but I sure felt like it then and such a low key moment is exactly the kind of date I’m all about.

Moments (The Cute, The Sexy, and The Awkward)

So I’ve talked about the food and the sights and all the lovely things about San Francisco, and that would be enough if this was some kind of mediocre travel blog, but alas instead you’ve ended up reading a shitty blog about a hopelessly romantic pessimist so you get some other weird details added in too. Now one of the best things about meeting someone new is that you get to have sex all the time. You’re both excited, always in the mood, and want to get to know the other person intimately. Prost and I were no exception to this and despite it being a quick trip, managed to push our number into double digits. (This is mainly due to the fact that he was literally waking me up in the middle of the night to fuck, which I had absolutely zero complaints about.) But besides the frequent sex, there was also heaps of hand holding to warm up his absolutely frigid hands, endearing compliments passed back and forth, and those very sweet kisses that tall guys give you on the top of your forehead when you’re wrapped into their arms and flood your brain with dopamine.

Also the first night we got there, Prost arrived in SF before I did and got all checked into our Airbnb. I had wi-fi on the flight so we kept in contact for most of my journey. Knowing that my flight was delayed and I’d be getting in late and exhausted (having been up since 5 am EST that day) he asked me if I’d want to get dinner or if instead there was anything he could go out and pick up so I’d have something to snack on when I arrived. I know it sounds so basic but I was floored by this - what an incredibly thoughtful gesture. Ignoring anything else that happened all weekend, that moment alone reminded me why I’ve been spending all this time with Prost: he’s a really thoughtful, genuine person. 

We also had this totally nerdy night in moment on our last evening. It was freezing out and I wasn’t super feeling like staying out and drinking so instead we headed back to our humble abode and had a bit of friendly competition. We both are big Sporcle players (for the uninitiated it’s a trivia website that has every thing!) and as big travellers we’re both well versed in countries of the world. So we went old school version and set a timer for 15 minutes and tried to name as many countries as possible. Now I’d been talking a big game about this all weekend so you can imagine I had to eat a huge slice of humble pie afterwards when I lost... by two countries, at 168 and 166. To be fair I think that’s still pretty impressive on both of our parts. Prost and I also talked about other trivia bits - US state capitals, European capitals, periodic table elements that have symbols that don’t match their names... I found myself laughing wholeheartedly over silly things, happier than many moments I’ve had in recent months.

That carefree relaxed laughter was a stark contrast so some of the revelations that came up during the weekend, starting with Prost admitting that he’d read some of my other blog entries - like my first moment post Not The One where I lament my heartbreak and then meet the Tradie. This would have been all well and good, I’m not shy about the fact that I choose to share my intimate details with the world, but it was how he followed it up: telling me that he too had fallen victim to a recent heartbreak. It certainly broke my notion of this “by chance traveller.” I didn’t push it in the moment but a day or so later followed up and discovered that rather than coming to America to visit his brother and explore as I’d been led to believe, his original intention was to spend the trip with a Midwestern girl he’d met in Berlin. Unfortunately, this went less than spectacularly and once there it didn’t work out and he found himself rocking up to NYC instead. I was (still am) not exactly sure how I was supposed to react to this confession but I know my first instinct was to hug him as tight as possible and not let go. I certainly can’t understand what this flyover-state gal was thinking, but I know that Prost is incredible and the loss in this situation is hers, whether she knows it now or not. Beyond my true empathy for his situation I’ll admit I found myself a bit blindsided and instantly on guard. Am I just a rebound for Prost? Have I simply been serving as a time/bed filler while he nurses his own broken heart? I’d like to think not but I wouldn’t blame him if it was the case, and in the scheme of things it doesn’t really matter.

I had a San Frantastic weekend and for a change I got to share my travels, with someone I found particularly endearing! And like every other time I’ve found myself at the airport with someone, I was once again terrible at saying good-bye.

[neverendingmoon]

Since you're craving Kasamatsu, how about a scenario where Kasamatsu can't go to practice one day, so his s/o (who is the captain of her team) helps cover for him. And he returns next time to find his team... oddly obedient. "What happened when I was away?" "FIRST RULE OF ___-CHAN'S TRAINING: DO NOT TALK ABOUT ___-CHAN'S TRAINING!!" (PS, i sent a haikyu request the last time your box was open, did you get it? It involved the volleyball net)

“Actually, about the request I sent earlier, maybe it could be done also for captains Oikawa, Kuroo, Terushima, Bokuro, and Hanamiya too? If not, it’s cool.”

Ahh! I hope I did this justice! I didn’t do Terushima because,honestly, I hated everything I wrote for him and this has been sitting in myfolder long enough. T.T I hope it’s ok! I’m not brave enough to write Terushimaand everything I wrote for him just…I wasn’t feeling it! Please accept theother captains! *bows and slinks away in shame*

-Admin Rei

 Kasamatsu: Hegroaned as he slowly made his way to the gym for, what he knew, would be atiring practice day. It didn’t help his cause that he had been gone yesterdayand had to ask his girlfriend, who was also the captain of the girls’basketball team, to cover for him.

Surely his team hadgiven her hell; especially Kise. She was more than capable, he was sure, butsometimes those guys just got to rowdy.

As Kasamatsu entered the gym he froze and blinked inconfusion when he saw his team, sans rowdiness, practicing and some doing laps,while others practiced their shots. He was shocked to say the least, these guyswould usually be roughhousing right before practice, but here they are,practicing like good boys!

“What the hell happened when I was away?” He tilted his headin question. The entire team stopped their progress and turned to face theircaptain, standing up straight as if they were soldiers before all yelling,

“FIRST RULE OF ___-CHAN’S TRAINING: DO NOT TALK ABOUT___-CHAN’S TRAINING!” Before they all returned to what they had been doing.Kasamatsu smirked and decided to ask you yourself later tonight. He didn’t knowyou would never reveal to him your grueling practice regiments.

Hanamiya: Thecaptain and uncrowned king of Kirisaki Daichi NEVER missed a practice. However,yesterday he’d gotten so sick he couldn’t even sit up straight. He had feltlike shit and therefore went home after dumping his team’s practice on hisgirlfriend, who was also the captain of the girls’ basketball team.

After you’d nagged him about pushing himself and he calledyou an idiot and a nag, you’d reluctantly agreed to stand in for him duringpractice. His team was terrified, they’d heard chatter from the girls’ teamabout what kind of captain you were and, surprisingly, they were probably morescared to have you stand in for one practice then to have Hanamiya there, sickand pissed.

Hanamiya was annoyed as he walked towards the gym the nextday for practice. He was sure you’d fucked up the training regimen he’d workedso hard to perfect. Those idiots were probably scattered all over the gym rightnow, with you standing in the background yelling for them to stop.

He huffed inannoyance as he pushed the doors to the gym open and walked in, freezing in hisstep. It was definitely not a sight he was expecting. His entire team of idiotswere in a perfectly straight line shooting free throws, one after another. Andnone of them had a missed a shot yet.

Hanamiya had to blinka few times to make sure he hadn’t accidentally walked in on another team.Nope. It was his team, training quietly and orderly. “What the fuck is goingon?” Hanamiya questioned, getting no response.

His team just lookedover at him with dull, lifeless eyes before continuing their training. A chillran down Hanamiya’s spine before a smirk curled his lips. Now he knew why youtwo got along so well. “Alright fuckers, let’s get started.”

Oikawa: He was amoron. He’d pushed himself and now he was paying for it. “Tooru! Why would yougo to practice, knowing your knee was hurting?” You frowned and scolded yourboyfriend, icing his knee. He hissed and groaned softly, giving you a weak yetpained smile.

“I can’t let the teamdown __-chan!” He winced again and you sighed.

“I’ll put my vice incharge and stand in for your team, yea? Just go to the nurse’s office and getit looked at.” You offered him a small smile and he nodded as Iwaizumi, afterkicking him in the head, helped him to the nurse’s office.

You put on yourcaptain face and turned to your boyfriend’s team. “Alright, listen up…I’m incharge now.” You smirked at their fearful faces.

“Wipe that stupid smile off your face, Shittykawa.” Iwaizumiglared at the pretty-boy as they walked towards the gym the next day, withOikawa practically frolicking.

“I’m happy, Iwa-chan~last night, __-chan came over after practice and took care of me!” The brunettegrinned and his friend just rolled his eyes at him as they entered the gym.“Yahooooo everyone~ we’re going to start with laps today~” The captain smiledas he picked up a volleyball.

Instantly, the wholeteam turned to him, and put their fingers to their foreheads in a salute. “SIR,YES SIR!” They all yelled in unison, making Oikawa stumble backwards at thesheer loudness of their voices, and the fact that he hadn’t gotten a volleyballto the face today.

“What…happened here?” He blinked at them and they all juststared at him, standing up straight and waiting for orders-er-directions.Oikawa smiled wide, he would have to have you stand in more often.

Kuroo: “I owe youone, kitten!” Kuroo pressed a quick kiss to your lips once you showed up to thegym, decked out in your Nekoma girls’ volleyball team uniform. He had calledyou to sub for him today as he had just received a call and had to go tend to afamily emergency.

“Don’t worry about it, just go!” You smiled and smacked hisbutt as he ran off, shooting you a perverted grin over his shoulder beforedisappearing. You sighed and turned to the boys you were to…captain for thenext couple hours.

You groaned at thesight.

Kenma was already onthe bench, laying down and furiously punching on the buttons of his handheld,while Lev was sobbing on the ground at another failed attempt to receive, aswell as the rest of the team either packing up or standing around and chatting.

You shook your head.This wouldn’t do at all. You had to go into captain mode and quick, before youcompletely lost them.

“Alright! Let’s do a couple laps- Kenma I swear I’ll breakit! String bean! Off the ground…!”

That evening the boysof Nekoma’s volleyball team realized that they had never been through a morebrutal practice.

“They didn’t give youtoo much trouble, did they?” Kuroo asked the next day, his arm draped aroundyour shoulders as you walked him to the boys’ gym.

“Hmm…no not really.” You smiled secretively as you reachedthe doors. “See you after practice!” You planted a kiss on his cheek beforeskipping off to your own practice. Kuroo grinned before sighing and opening thedoors to the gym.

Lev on the groundsobbing. Kenma on his handheld. The other guys all standing around or makingfun of Lev.

At least, that iswhat Captain Kuroo was expecting, you know, just like any other day. But…

“Lev! Nice receive!”

“A little higher next time, please!”

“Nice toss, Kenma!”

Kuroo blinked andbacked out of the gm slowly, re-reading the number of the gym. Yep, it was histeam’s, and then re-entering. Maybe he’d entered a parallel universe where histeam is good and listened to him?

He took a deep breath and walked back into the gym. Deargod, someone had kidnapped his team and replaced them with aliens!

“What…are you guysdoing?” He asked, wide-eyed.

“Practicing.” Kenmareplied, not once stopping his tosses.

“…why? How…?.” Kurooasked, only realizing how odd the question was.

“___-chan told us we’re not allowed to say!” Lev repliedbefore receiving a toss expertly.

Kuroo would havefainted, but he decided that he should take advantage of this while he stillcan because knowing them, they would be bac to normal tomorrow. Unless…he hadanother ‘family emergency’ and you had to step in again. The thought brought ashit-eating grin to his face as he joined his teammates.

Bokuto: “Kou!”You groaned as your boyfriend stood before you, hands clasped and raised abovehis bowed head.

“Please ___-chan! Itsonly every once in a while that they do this!” He begged and you groaned again.You hated to say no to him but…this was just too much. His favorite restaurantwas having a special on barbecued beef and he was desperate to go, thereforeasking you, his lovely girlfriend, to stand in for him while he made a quickrun.

“Argh! Fine! Go, but hurry back!” You sighed and gave in,causing him to grin widely up at you before grabbing you by the shoulders andplanting a wet and messy kiss on your lips.

“Thanks! I’ll bring you back some!” He grinned widely andwaved at you before sprinting out of the gym. You only laughed at his anticsbefore taking a deep breath and entering the gym, where the boys were allwarming up.

“Alright guys! Howabout we start with-?”

“Did Bokuto go to that restaurant?” Akaashi, in all hismonotonous glory, asked you as he rolled his shoulder. You laughed nervouslyand nodded.

“Yeah but he’ll be back soon! I’m going to take over for abit!” You gave them a wink and a peace sign.

It was….how…what?

You gaped as you watched how out of sync the team was. Wasthis every day or because Bokuto wasn’t here?

You were convincedthat they were messing with you because they are just not this terrible on thecourt! You groaned and rolled your shoulders. Time to show them what thecaptain of the Fukurodani girls’ volleyball team was made of.

Bokuto whistled happily as he made his way to the gym thenext day for practice. He entered the gym and was prepared to tell his team theagenda, when he noticed that they were all already running laps around the gym.He blinked in confusion and called out for Akaashi.

“Uh…what’s going onhere?” He asked as the rest of the team marched on like soldiers.

“We are running laps.” Akaashi stated in an obvious tone.“Also, the team voted that we are not to be left alone with __-chan everagain.” Bokuto cocked a brow.

“Why not?! She’s-!”Akaashi cut off the captain.

“Terrifying.” The monotonous owl finished before shudderingat the reminder of yesterday’s practice.

“What happened…?” Bokuto placed his hands on his hips as hewatched the team run another lap.

“We…are not allowed to speak of that.” Akaashi repliedbefore resuming his running. Bokuto smiled widely before joining his team. Heknew of your terrifying, and sometimes painful, training methods….the two ofyou trained together often.         

[hopelesstargazer]

Writing prompt

A local bartender regularly willingly hosts monsters and demons in his bar. When terrorists kidnap his children they learn the hard way how close he is to them.

I honestly couldn’t say when it started. I think Volf was the first to walk into my bar. There was only myself and a buddy in the room when he asked for a drink. I do recall my human friend pissing his pants at the sight of a werewolf asking for a gin and tonic. I just chuckled. After that night, more and more night-stalkers wandered in. I developed a reputation in the community for my laid-back attitude toward non-humans. What they didn’t seem to realize is that I just didn’t care what they were. I had seen the worst of life in the war and when humanity is drunk off their asses. Monsters and demons aren’t so scary after those kind of reality checks. 

Besides, they are all a bunch of soft-hearted romantics once you get to know them. And busy know-it-alls with their damnable noses in everything to boot. But their caring attitudes is the real reason I even landed my wife. 

She was completely out of my league being the owner of Halo-For-Days fashion empire and a descendant of Archangel Gabriel. I knew there wasn't even a chance in hell that I could ever catch her eye. I was just a lowly human that ran a bar for thugs and veterans. There was no way on God’s green earth that I was good enough for an angel. But my boys wouldn’t take no for an answer. They had all schemed one night to get the woman of my dreams. No matter what they say, I still think it was just a ploy to get free booze out of me.

So, Carl, the demi-demon, cornered her one night outside my bar on her way home under the pretense of being the “big bad wolf.” I could have killed the man at the time. Being oblivious to their plans, I had no idea why the normally gentle giant was snarling right outside my door. God almighty, he was making such a racket. The poor brownies were quacking in their boots thinking the snarling was legitimate. It was clearer than day that he was just huffing and puffing, but it still sounded like the gates of hell were being ripped open.

I remember her beautiful face when I came out, cussing his name to his mother and back as I threw an empty bottle at his head. Or at least, where I thought his head should have been. The green glass shattered on the wall above his head. I stared at my friend curled up on the ground in front of the angel. I honestly couldn’t tell you who was more surprised. Me, who was stunned by the vision the demon completely black and blue from getting smacked around by a designer’s purse curled up on the ground, or my-wife-to-be sporting a beautifully shocked face, as I laughed my ass off at my friend’s misery. Eventually, I moved to pick his sorry self of the ground. Once he limped inside, I recall flashing my pearly whites as I offered her a drink to ease the torment my buddy caused her.

Her stunned expression was completely endearing, but I was spared from the butterflies that attempted to escape my mouth when she took me up on the offer. She came in with her designer dress and fit right in. I officially fell in love with her when she made a snarky remark about getting a doctor for Carl because he HAD to be mentally impaired if a demon thought he stood a chance against an angel.  Throughout the night, she teased the guys, laughed with the harpies, and bested the leprechauns at drinking.  After that night, I figured I would never see her again, but the next night she rolled in only to become a regular. Then she surprised the living hell out of me a few weeks later when she proposed me. The boys were whooping for joy as she dropped that ring in my tip jar with the naughtiest smirk ever to grace an angel’s face. Carl had to strut around the bar for a month after our ceremony, stupidly proud of himself for setting us up. I thank the heavens that Audre only thought he was cute.

Every once in a while in the ten years of our marriage, she’ll tease me saying the only reason she married me was because I had to be an impressive human to keep vampires and warlocks in line after jello-shots. 

But I digress, like I said before, the monsters that visit my bar aren’t all that bad. Even the humans learned to like them after finding out they shared something in common. The love of sports. No matter what your pedigree is, there is just something cathartic about watching a MMA fight after a hell of a week. On this particular night, an Orc was battling against the reigning champion, “The Troll Crusher.” (who is an actually troll if you didn’t get the hint from the oh so subtle name) The boys were all wandering in from the cool October night, eagerly talking about bets and odds. I was wiping the bar down as usual when my back pocket started to buzz. Frowning, I pulled out my phone to see my wife’s beautiful picture on it. 

“Ooh!” cawed Traymore, the resident fire dragon, “wifey missing you already?” The room chuckled as I flipped the ass off. 

“Hello, love of my life! What’s up?” I grinned. Carl whistled at me and I threw his beer at him. 

“They took them,” came a strangled choke from the other end. Her voice was so strained it didn’t sound like my laughing angel. “I wasn’t here to stop them. Oh, Kai, what are we going to do? What if we can’t find them? What if they kill them? Kai…”

I grabbed the sink in front of me. “Audre, calm down, baby. Who took who? What’s going on?”

“The girls. The girls were kidnapped.” She sobbed. My world shattered. I couldn’t hear anything but my wife’s story of how one of her competitors got angry at the successful of her current line was at the last show in France and how he swore vengeance with a passion. I fell to my knees as she described what her parents’ flat looked like when she went to pick up my girls to spend time with them this weekend. I felt hands pull me up as she sobbed about the state of my perfect angels’ room, the bruises on her parents’ faces, and the fear she could taste in the air. My back was hit when I forgot how to breathe after she told me the cops had no idea who took them and refused to go after the all powerful Jacques who had threaten this because they didn’t have “proof”. My vision went dark as tears poured down my face while my beautiful and strong wife broke over the phone. I was proud that my voice stayed steady as I calmed my wife down. I told her to stay inside, do as the police said, and that I was coming home. She hung up on a hiccup. 

I tried to standed up. However, my knees had a different idea. I fell forward and expect to hit my nasty floor. Instead, I landed on someone’s shoulder. It registered that it was Sean’s, the resident kelpie, body that caught me. I stared unseeing for a moment before I pushed off. 

“Kai, what happen bro?” 

I looked into the black pits that Zack called eyes. Then I looked around the room. My friends...no, my brothers and sisters looked back at me with such gentle concern. The match forgotten. The drinks were all but thrown to the floor. Every race in this pathetic world surrounded me with strength. In that strength, I found my voice.

“Some assholes took my babies.”

The room went dead. Everyone, from the brownies on the table to the harpies in my rafters stared at me.

“Audre thinks it was Jacques Heathervien, her rival. The cops won’t do anything. I need to go home to be with her.” 

A hand hit my back. I looked up at Froyo, my Sasquatch friend. He smiled down at me.

“Go home, my friend. I’ll lock up for ya.” Murmurs went around the bar in that sounded like they all agreed with him. I softly punched him in the arm.

“Don’t go drinking all my vodka, you jerk. You still owe me for the last time.” He chuckled at my poor attempt at humor.

“Go, we’ll handle it all.”

“We?” I asked, not really caring but noticing his odd choice of words. 

“Just go home. Audre needs you right now.”

I nodded and stumbled to my car. The drive home was a blur. Cops surround our little suburban home. I stumbled into the door only to hold my sobbing wife to my chest. I carried her to the loveseat and answered every question the officers asked. I stoically looked at the Orc before me as he explained for the upteenth time why he couldn’t go after the damnable shapeshifter that took my reasons for breathing away. I know I was intimidating him. He had heard about my establishment and who I serve. He KNEW I was not going to take this bullshit for much longer. 

But my priority was my wife and her comfort. So I sat there, wanting to deck the lights out of the officer in front of me, rubbing her back. After a few wasted hours, they finally left. Audre was sleeping on the couch with her head in my lap. I ran my fingers threw her curly blonde hair as I nursed my glass of whiskey. The ceiling was dancing with shadows. My mind turned with images of nightmare my little ones were going through. The glass creaked as my hand tightened. A soft moan escaped my love’s mouth which forced me to relax. A heavy sigh came out of me. 

Then a light flashed through our bay windows. I squinted at the intrusion. Tinkling laughter of the highest quality seeped into my soul causing me to shout. Audre blinked up at me, but froze when she heard it too. We shot off the couch and into the yard.

“Careful, my man,” Carl laughed, “you’ll have to replace the sheetrock there behind the poor door after that stunt.” 

I ignored him as I swung my baby girl into the air with a cry of joy. My babies were home and safe. Audre had Elizabeth in a death grip as the two cried. I cuddled my little princess as I stared at the five men who stood in the yard. Words were beyond me as Anastasia clung to my neck giggling as my stubble tickled her nose. All I could do was nodded to each of them.

Carl, Traymore, Zack, Volf and Froyo nodded back to me in understanding. They headed to the truck that was parked on the street. I saw one of the regulars in the driver’s seat wave at me. I knew she was a succubus, but she didn’t cause trouble so I let her drink at my place. I nodded my thanks to her as well. 

I watched my friends drive away with the warmth of gratefulness. I herded my precious girls inside and thanked every diety I ever heard about for friends of the night.

The next morning, I was watching the news as my girls gave each other manicures while I made breakfast. I wasn’t really paying attention until the asshole’s name came up. The anchor-woman was calmly explaining that the famed Jacques Heathervien was found dead in his condo in Paris. She was describing the desecration to his body and home as if it was a simple horror movie scene. My lips curled upwards as pictures with horribly blurred blood stains flicked on and off the screen. Whatever had killed him had done a messy job and made sure he was in the most pain of his life.

I reached for my phone as she continued to explain that Mr. Heathervien had criminal evidence that linked him to some terrorist groups in the LA area in his residence. As the lovely anchor continued to make my day better and better with detailed descriptions of known terrorist leaders and other member’s heads being strung up like christmas lights in downtown with nasty little warnings not to touch innocent babes, I read all the notifications from Twitter.

Amazing fight last night. Pity the outcome was predictable. ~Carl~

Nothing like a coward’s blood and piss to make a night memorable. ~Zack~

Ya’ll lost that bet. Time to pay the piper. He only lasted five minutes. ~Traymore~

Tell the angels that no monster will ever be as scary as their big brothers from daddy’s work. ~Volf~

Kai, you are never alone. Remember that. ~Froyo~

The posts on my feed choked me up. There were hundreds after that. All equally cryptic to the casual reader, but clear as day to me. Roses waifed up to my nose as Audre curled up under my arm. 

“The girls are cleaning up. I just don’t understand, Kai. How did the boys-” she fell off as she watched the news. We were silent for some time. Then she read her notifications.

“Why do I feel like they are NOT talking about the fight that was streaming last night?”

I shrugged and laughed at a particularly good jap at wimpy fashion kings and their lack of night-stalker status.

“They do know they could go to jail for this if they are caught.”

I grunted. Texting the boys, I told them first round was on me.

“They really do love us, don’t they.” She whispered. I smiled down at her.

“Yeah, too bad they’re still asshole and fuckers.”

[becomingstrong1289]

5/17/17

Ive been sad lately. I’ve been sad for a long time. Years i think. Maybe decades at this point. Life is so hard. This bipolar thing is really starting to make sense. Its like I’m so depressed and then i get an energy about me and i want to do everything all at once and then i get too overwhelmed and irritated and go right back down to depressed. Is it normal to feel like this. It surely is affecting my life. My job is on its last leg, my relationship with Shawn is all over the place, i lose it with the kids and dont have enough energy to be what they need. But this is who ive always been. In highschool i was a depressed mess. Growing up the way i did really didn’t give me a good baseline. is that possible to not have a healthy baseline. 

Work: My plan has been for awhile, go to coding and find a job in that. Annie said it started at $17/hr. Eventually figure out how to go home to work. Once Owen is in school go back for nursing at Saint Anthony’s for my bachelors. It seems so easy. Cardiology is just a cluster fuck with a lot a lot of attitude. I hope this new girl comes in and makes it back to the way it was. I was thinking about attempting to take over putting on holters. Maybe that will get the nurses off my back. Its just unfair to me that i spend so much time on something that isnt necessary and then on a whim get asked to do something for someone else when no one is willing to help me. They only room pts if it is absolutely necessary. I guess nursing is all in the computer now. They cant even look away for a moment. i know there are better ways to deal with things. Today i wanted to figure out how i was going to take a lunch break. That meant asking Tana for help. But she had a meeting at noon and wouldnt be back until 3. So i thought i was fucked. She said i could go at 11, i was so negative and pessimistic i didnt see any other option. I feel like ive been sick for 3 weeks and its bringing me down. I got strep, the antibiotics affected me very negatively, and then i thought i was pregnant for like 2 weeks. One test even came out slightlly positive. Then i finally get my period and it is awful. The pain today was almost enough to make me go home. My body is throwing me for a loop. Im scared to take this stupid medicine for my thyroid, i feel sick, i have a fever constantly, my head is crazy, i have depression and anxiety, this divorce is killing me, i dont want it, i never did but its just happening anyway. i got the paper work. josh is starting to become a stranger to me. its just the weirdest feeling i hate being a single mom of two kids. im so tired and stretched thin. i put all my effort into things like cooking healthy and making sure they bath and brush their teeth twice a day correctly and doing natalies hair nicely and keeping my house clean for us. i see other people who dont do these things. Jodie said i should be more proud of myself for what i do. its hard to be proud and exhausted. is it worth the effort. are there things my energy could be put forth. is health and hygiene and cleanliness so important. Im so down, its getting harder and harder to see the joy in things. im so scare of getting on antidepressants. i dont want to be a zombie. i dont want the sexual dysfunction that comes along with that. I guess i just need to get through work and do everything i can. if someone asks me to do something, just do it. if i get behind on charts, just work until i get it done. if i have to not take a lunch break to get it done, then thats how it will be. a new coworker and a new boss might help the situation. who knows. im scared of the future i have there. i know i had it cushy with jeanette. i dont see it being like that with Laura. Bosses named laura are always “fun”.... just work hard. get yourself out of this rut. stop talking about outside life too. just focus on work. stop with your phone. i deleted fb off my phone. i need a break from that. dont let them see me on my phone. be perfect so theres nothing they can say. fake it til you make it i guess. 

Kids: Owen is thriving i think. Hes a good little boy, eats well, understands and communicated well, funny and loving. Natalie is a ball of anxiety. i want so much to get into her head. my goal was to always have an open relationship with my kids that they would be able to tell me anything. that is definitely not the way it is. She doesn’t tell me anything. Its all a secret and then i get made because its a secret. Today she had an accident and tried to hide it from me. she trashed my bathroom. Im not sure why my 6 year old is having accidents. thats scary in its own right. i am perpetually scare my kids could get molested or something without me ever knowing about it. anyway, i got mad when i went into the bathroom and saw what she had done. there was shit everywhere. just everywhere. Later when things were calmed and she did her punishment i asked her why she has been getting in trouble at school. she opened up when i asked if she needed more attention. she actually got emotional about it. she doesn’t think her teacher spends enough time with her, she doesn’t get enough play time, and the recess people are mean to her. She genuinely teared up over it. i asked her what she needed from me. she wants me to play more games with her. i bought a deck of cards a few days ago, i was going to teach her how to play some games. its so hard to fit all of it into a night. i get home at 530. i have to make dinner by 630. its been nice so weve been spending a little time outside. soon ill have my garden i would like to stop there a few times a week before we go home. anyway. 645 is bath time. They stay in there for about 30 mins 715. then its time to relax. I guess this is a good time to read books. Im so freaking tired by this point. but 715 to 730 would be good for books. and 730 to 8 would be good for games with natalie. sometimes they have been going to bed later. for 730-45 for books and 745=815 for games. by 83o everyone is in bed. i guess ill see how that goes tomorrow. i want the one on one time with natalie and owen. i enjoy it so much. i love friday afternoons with owen. its amazing to have him all to myself. and then when me and natalie are alone its really nice too. we need more of it. i dont know how to be someone she can come to honestly and authorative. i want a relationship that she knows the rules but stays open about if she broke them and takes responsibility for it. I have no idea what any of that looks like in real life. Maybe that kind of thing only exists in movies and adulthood. im her mom, not her friend, i know that but i need her to feel comfortable talking to me and she isnt. The mental health group class i went to talked about “has anyone taught you how to deal with being sad”. No one taught me. it was looked down upon if i was sad or emotional. it annoyed my mom and she made me go away. i remember when my aunt died. i was fine until i saw her daughter and realized she didnt have a mom anymore and i wanted to cry but i had to excuse myself because i was taught inadvertently that is how you deal with sad. i didnt even feel comfortable crying at a funeral. thats sad. and even now, my sadness is isolation, crying alone and hiding everything. and how guilty i feel, just this weekend natalie got sad that we were going to pull out her tooth with plyers, we said it as a joke, and she started crying. i asked her why she was crying but she just clammed up. i was so frustrated i sent her to her room. im my mind i thought it would be a way for her to cool off but now i think if i would have just given her a hug and reassured her we were just kidding she may have opened up to me. im going to put more effort into her. 45 mins per night will be directly spent with them and only them. Im not going to take it away if they were bad. we need time together whether they misbehaved or not. i need to research better discipline methods. besides beating children i was never taught how to properly discipline a kid. time out was good before but natalie is too old for that now. i know things like cleaning and going to bed shouldnt be a punishment because then cleaning and going to bed normally will always be a punishment. i take away her snack but that makes me scared she’ll see food as a reward also. just how the fuck do i discipline a kid that doesn’t affect the rest of her life. one guy i knew made his kid run when she was bad. well i bet exercise will be a punishment when she gets old and shell die of heart disease from being sedentary her whole life. im going to bed. i hope getting some of this out of my head makes for a better tomorrow. 

[junker-town]

'The Bachelor' episode 9 recap: Raven's never had an orgasm, Corinne’s fate is sealed

In a short episode, we learn a whole lot about Raven’s past.

The last episode of The Bachelor ended on a cliffhanger, and I have a message for ABC: Stop it. At this point, these shouldn’t even be called cliffhangers, they should be called “how The Bachelor always ends now.”

You don’t have to do this. We didn’t come this far — TO THE FINAL FOUR — not to find out what happens. Those of us still watching this show are in it for the long haul. And sometimes, we just want to find out who gets sent home at the end of an episode like we did in the good old days.

WHATEVER, I’M OVER IT, LET’S DO THIS

When we left off, Andi Dorfman, Nick’s first Bachelor-franchise love, had just showed up at Nick’s hotel room. The producers tried to make it seem like maybe something was going to happen between them, but we, Sports Bachelor Nation, are smarter than that. We knew this was a fake-out, and we were right.

It's a whiskey conversation. @AndiDorfman #TheBachelor http://pic.twitter.com/otd0mIRK3x

— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) February 28, 2017

All they do is sit around drinking whiskey and talking about Nick’s feelings. Andi’s like, “Soooo, how areeee youuuu?” in that typical way one does when one is on national TV catching up with one’s ex one met and dumped on national TV. Andi tells Nick he should sleep with the women in the fantasy suites if he wants to, rather than hold back in his desire for “clarity” (whatever that means). She calls it her feminist rant.

Most of the whiskey-fueled, feminist rants my friends and I go on end with, “AND THAT’S WHY ALL MEN ARE INHERENTLY BAD AND THE PATRIARCHY MUST BE DISMANTLED!” so I’m not sure Andi’s qualifies, but I guess there are degrees to everything.

Andi asks Nick if he regrets asking, after she dumped him, “Why would you make love with me if you weren’t in love with me?” Nick apologizes. High five, Nick. Way to realize that women don’t have to be in love to get it on.

THE COLDEST ROSE CEREMONY OF ALL TIME

The four remaining women are standing outside on a deck at a hotel in Brooklyn. They’re wearing evening gowns with jackets layered over them. It makes no sense to have them wait outside in New York City in the winter, a place that — believe it or not — does have heated indoor rooms. Trust me, I’m sitting in one right now. They exist.

The chill of a final four rose ceremony just got literal. #TheBachelor http://pic.twitter.com/72TyfVIXjO

— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) February 28, 2017

All the women are anxiety spiraling in confessionals while Nick gets drunk with his ex-girlfriend. We’re about to cut to commercial, but, before we do, we see a preview of the rest of the episode we’re about to watch, in which Raven tells the camera that she’s never had an orgasm before.

That is ... there is ... WHAT?! She’s 25 and has never had an orgasm? Never at all? Or never with a man she’s having sex with? I have so many questions, but I’m going to wait to worry about it until we actually get to that part of the show.

BACK AT THE FREEZING COLD ROSE CEREMONY

Nick shows up. Raven gets a rose, as we knew she would, thanks to that bombshell of a tease. We know that Rachel won’t end up being the love of Nick’s life because she’s the next Bachelorette, but she’s safe for now.

Oh, God. It’s between Vanessa and Corinne.

NOOOOOO, CORINNNEEEE, NOOOOOOO!

I’m actually yelling at my TV. I knew Corinne had to go home. I knew it, but it still hurts. She’s a young 24, whereas Raven is coming across as an older 25, even though they’re both way too young for Nick, who’s a washed-up, 36-year-old Bachelor-goer-on-er. But I digress: Back to Corinne. NOOOOOO!

#TheBachelor http://pic.twitter.com/qNzGGAVGF9

— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) February 28, 2017

Nick walks her out, and she apologizes between sobs for ever doing anything wrong. He’s very sweet with her; he’s like, “Trust me, you didn’t.” You can tell he really cares about her, just not in a “wife” way.

Corinne’s sad limo goodbye scene is so Corinne and therefore so perfect that, despite my heartbreak over about not getting to hang out with this spectacular creature every Monday night, I feel a little bit better. She says:

“I just want to feel loved the way it’s supposed to be, like, the normal way. Like, why can’t I just have a normal relationship? I say the things that men think are appropriate and, you know what, I’m done. I’m done trying to show my men how much I love them and care for them and support them. I need that, so if someone feels that way about me, they can come and tell me, and bring a ring, too. I’m done trying to impress these men. I’m going to be me. And whatever happens happens. But I will never kiss up to a man, ever again, in my life. I want to go to sleep.”

And she closes her eyes and goes to sleep.

Corinne’s, I would argue, is the true feminist rant of the night. Or at least as close as we’re going to get.

IT’S TIME TO GO TO FINLAND, THE TROPICS OF THE NORTH

The Bachelor always ends in a tropical location, but you know what they say about Finland: “It’s the Barbados of the Arctic Circle!”

Which is ostensibly why we’re here. It’s very beautiful. There are also only three hours of daylight, which means even more time to get rip-roaring drunk in darkness.

Raven’s date starts out in a bar. They’re playing darts with locals — three jolly, round white dudes wearing fur hats who must be Santa’s cousins.

Yes, this also against the rules in Finland. #TheBachelor http://pic.twitter.com/suqXF1KOzV

— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) February 28, 2017

To the camera, Nick says that Raven has a “Southern, sweet charm” and a “wonderful, edgy craziness,” which is the “perfect combo of salty and sweet.” He’s “falling harder and harder for her.”

I don’t love the salty-sweet analogy because I don’t think you’d ever describe a man that way, but Nick assures us he’s a feminist when he insists that he doesn’t expect a wife to cook and clean for him.

Raven is like, “That’s good, because I can’t cook.” And Nick is like, “How do you feel about laundry?” And she’s like, “I own a clothing store, I fold stuff all day.” And he’s like, “Well, I can iron.” And she’s like, “Cool, but I’m going to introduce you to a steamer and change your life,” and I’m like, “Why are we trying to one-up each other about chores?”

But, hey, at least they’re discussing the logistics of having a life together rather than just talking about how talking about their feelings went.

RAVEN’S ORGASM-LESS LIFE

Raven, to the camera, says, “I’ve only have sex with one person. I’ve never had an orgasm before. It’s really taboo to discuss, but it’s important ... maybe I hadn’t before with my last person because I really didn’t trust him. You have to trust someone to be able to go there.”

HOO, BOY, there’s a lot to unpack here.

“Being physical and emotional means double the heartbreak if it ends up not being me at the end.” –Raven #TheBachelor http://pic.twitter.com/Y2gGlhTiFm

— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) February 28, 2017

Imagine a man saying he’d never had an orgasm at the age of 25. I’m sure those guys are out there, but they’re few and far between, because in our society, men are supposed to. And yet, for women, there’s still a lot of shame associated with sexual pleasure.

That’s garbage.

Men: BE BETTER AT SEX!

Honestly, what is your problem? Figure out how to make a woman feel good and then do it, for crying out loud.

R.I.P. Raven’s ex. You just got dunked on so hard on national TV that I’m pretty sure you’re dead now.

If Raven’s lying, and she did have good sex with her ex but is just saying this to get back at him for cheating on her with that nurse, it’s the most impressive troll job I’ve ever witnessed. I wouldn’t put it past her, given that she’s already told us she hit him over the head with a stiletto.

DINNER IN FINLAND WITH LOTS OF WINE AND TALK ABOUT FEELINGS

At dinner, Raven is mainlining red wine, and Nick’s like, “Whoah, take it easy, champ!” Except he doesn’t say that, he just gently makes her put it down.

Raven tells him she was with her ex for two years but they never said I love you, and I’m like, “Oh, my God, you had bad sex with this guy for two years?”

“I’m embracing that I’m in love with Nick and I could spend my life with him.” –Raven#TheBachelor http://pic.twitter.com/LMIMoK7reB

— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) February 28, 2017

Raven, through tears, says that she feels really comfortable with Nick, and then she says this:

“My dad used to tell me as a little girl that he prayed I would have an easy love. From the very beginning it was easy for me to see you as a partner. It was easy for me to see you, after seeing you with Bella [his little sister they keep trotting out on this show] as being a dad. And then it was too easy, how comfortable I felt with you. And I do love you. The worst thing I could do would be not tell you that.”

I’m here for this. Love is best when it’s easy. When it doesn’t feel like something you have to carve out space for or something that saps energy from you.

I’m going to be earnest for a second and channel my inner advice columnist, something I’ve secretly always wanted to be: If a relationship is painful — if the communication is bad, if the other person can be mean, or make you feel stupid, or taken for granted, or used, or left hanging — that’s hard, difficult love. It can still be love, sure. You can really care about someone who makes you miserable.

You just don’t have to put up with them.

Because I guarantee you — I guarantee — that there’s someone else out there who will be kind to you. Someone who will enrich your life rather than making you want to pull your hair out. “Easy love” won’t always be easy, of course, but starting from a good place makes the bad times far more tolerable than starting from a place that often hurts.

Hold out for that.

*~*~OK, back to your regularly scheduled jokes~*~*

Raven is like, now that I’ve said “I love you,” can I have more wine please? And then she tells Nick she’s never had an orgasm.

We end with Nick reenacting the training montage from Rocky in the snowy, northern woods.

A FEW THOUGHTS

At least there won’t be any added pressure on Nick to make this a good sexual experience for Raven!

I bet he ends up not sleeping with her. He kind of chickens out a lot, so that would be on brand for Mr. Curveball.

I think Nick really likes Raven. I think Raven is going to win.

This was a short episode. Next week is a regular two-hour long, Finnish extravaganza, followed by “The Women Tell All,” when the ones who got kicked off get to confront Nick. So please know that if I die next Tuesday, it was The Bachelor that killed me.

Everyone’s giving Nick shit about the turtleneck sweater he wore, but I don’t really have strong opinions about it. How’s that for a lukewarm take?