#honestly it’ll be fine the bigger issue is letting my parents know i got my hair cut Somewhere By A Professional but also not letting them

[dreamertrilogys]

^ this but also barbers are scary & idk what i’m supposed to say to them .

[marvelsbetch]

Peter Parker’s parent teacher conference

Warnings: IronStrange, Supremefamily, bullied Peter, dick head teachers, anxious Peter and homophobia.

-Peter POV-

"Hey Bambi, why didn't you tell us about your parent-teacher conference tomorrow night?" Pops asked sitting next to me on the living room couch.

"I didn't think you would've wanted to go? Dads not the one for school or teachers and you're -well- you." I explained tentatively.

"I'll take that as a compliment. Just so you know, we'll be there for around 5 so just after your decathlon meeting. It'll just be me and your dad so no need to be embarrassed." Pops told me.

"Thanks. This'll be the first parent-teacher conference I would've ever been to." I told him.

"Same kid. It's a first time experience for us all." Pops smiled at me.

"Not many times that happens." I commented resting my head on his shoulder.

"No it's not Bambi, no it's not." He smiled putting his head on mine.

-Next day at 5 o'clock-

"Hey Penis, what're you still doing here? This is a thing for kids with parents." Flash taunted walked passed me in the gymnasium as I waited for my dads.

"Shut up Flash, you know nothing about my family." I told him.

"You better watch your tone Parker or you'll have another black eye." Flash threatened getting really close to me.

"If you would be so kind as to step away from my kid, it would he greatly appreciated." Pops' voice spoke from next to me. They must've just arrived.

"Oh my God! It's Stephen Strange! And Tony Stark!" Flash all but yelled making the whole room fall silent.

"It's Stephen Stark actually. I didn't spend thousands on a wedding for people to not recognise my changed last name." Pops corrected.

"I'm so sorry. I'm such a fan of both of your works." Flash blabbered composing himself.

"Eugene! We've been looking everywhere for you!" A man, who I presume is Flash's father, scolded walking up to us with a woman trailing behind.

"Sorry father but look who I found. The Starks." Flash excitedly announced.

At this point I slowly slipped away from him and walked up to my Dad who gladly greeted me with a hug. I could feel the warmth of the arc reactor on my chest and it gave a strange comfort. After a few moments we let go but I didn't move very far, being so close to Flash made me really anxious.

"Underoos you okay?" Dad asked me worriedly trying to look into my eyes.

"Yeah I'm fine, just tired. I was up late finishing a piece of homework last night." I lied hoping Pops wouldn't say anything as I fell asleep on him last night.

"Wow Mister Stark. I must say I'm a big fan of your work. If you haven't noticed I try to style myself off of you." Flash's father said showing off his black tailored suit and aviator sunglasses and reached out for a handshake.

"I'm flattered but I don't do handshakes. I'm not the biggest fan of touching." Dad told him trying to give a convincing smile.

"Then why've you got an arm around Pen-Peter?" Flash asked making both my Dads give him the 'Bitch WTF' look. I hate that look. Dad was about to say something but I decided to cut in.

"So, why don't we do what you came here to do and speak to my teachers? Sounds great, let's go." I spoke grabbing Pops' hand and dragging him and Dad to one of my teachers.

"Who was he?" Dad asked in a demanding tone.

"Nobody important. Look Mr. Harrington's free. Let's go and talk to him." I rushed and pulled my dads towards Mr. Harrington's table.

"Ah, Peter and Mr. and Mr. Stark. Lovely to meet you, I love all you've done for the world." Mr Harrington spoke as we took our seats.

"Thank you Mr. Harrington." Pops said.

"No problem. So, I teach Peter Physics and I've got no problems. The only thing I would say is that he is often on his phone during lesson and doesn't listen that much. However with that being said, he's never got below an A+ on his tests. You should be proud of him." Mr. Harrington smiled.

"We are. Is that all?" Dad said ruffling my hair slightly.

"That's all thanks." Mr. Harrington announced and shook Pops' hand before we walked away.

"That was a really good report but who're you texting during class? It better not be one of the others or your dad." Pops asked and gave Dad a pointed look.

"No it's this guy I met online. His names Harley Keener and he seems really nice." I explained as I lead them to my history teacher.

"Harley Keener?" Dad asked shocked.

"Yeah. Why? Do you know him?" I questioned.

"Sorta. I'll explain when we get home." Dad dismisses before turning around to face my history teacher Mrs. Keens.

"Wow, this is a shock. It's not everyday the Starks turn up to a parent-teacher conference. How are you both?" She rushed out slightly flustered.

"We're doing fine thank you. How is Peter in this subject?" Pops asked, straight to the point as always.

"Peter is amazing, always hands his homework in on time, always listens in lesson and has never received less than an A on a test. You should be proud of him." She informed smiling at me.

"Wow, our little goody-two-shoes." Dad teased ruffling my hair slightly.

"One thing that you may or may not be aware of is a boy called Eugene Thomson. He seems to be bullying Peter for whatever reason, I've caught him a few times throwing paper balls at Peter or sliding him malicious notes. I'm not sure if it's friendly or not but I felt you should know. Thank you." Mrs. Keens informed, may the ground swallow me up now.

"We will also discuss this later on." Pops told me sternly, oh no.

We left Mrs. Keens with a slight wave and headed back to the main area to find another teacher. My eyes landed on my English teacher who didn't seem very happy, this is not going to end well.

"Oh look, it's your English teacher." Dad commented and pointed to Mr. Malory. Fuuuuuuuuck.

"How do you know my English teacher?" I asked worriedly.

"Research department, making sure my son has the best education he can. Let's go to him now while he's free." Dad brushed off and started to walk towards him. God save me.

My English teacher hates me for no reason, always turns a blind eye to Flash, always nitpicks my assignments and finds any reason to not give me a good grade. He's also quite homophobic and has expressed on many occasions his hatred for my Dads and anything to do with them. He even leads a group called the 'Freedom from Starks'. This is so not ending well.

"Peter, didn't expect to see you here." Mr. Malory commented not looking up from his clip board.

"Well, this is a parent-teacher conference and I, as his parent, would like to speak to my sons teacher about his school work. If you'd be so kind." Dad said, his words oozing sarcasm and sass. He really did his research.

Mr. Malory picked his head up and stared Dad dead in the face. The distaste clearly shown on both faces as the three of us took our seats, Pops took Dad's hand, probably as a way to calm him down. This is worse than I thought.

"Well, if I'm being honest, Peter is the worse student I've ever taught. He's disruptive in lessons, throws paper at a wonderful student called Flash Thompson, slides Flash malicious notes and seems to find any excuse to blame Flash. His work is simply upgradable and I couldn't thing on a bigger lost cause than your son. Any questions?" Mr. Malory spoke and Dads face got redder and redder with anger.

"Really, then why did the last teacher we speak to say it was the other way around, that 'Flash' was the one throwing paper and passing notes?" Dad questioned leaning forward in his seat.

"Look, I don't know what happens in other lessons and quite frankly, I don't care. All I know is Peter is a major distraction and it's bordering bulling with Flash." Mr. Malory told us.

"What about his work is so upgradable? Is it his handwriting or the content of what he's writing?" Pops asked placing his other hand on top of Dads. This is getting serious.

"The content. The ludicrous stories of the Norse Gods and his 'adventures' with them are beyond reason. His stories are beyond the realm of possibility and are just ludicrous." Mr. Malory told them.

"His stories about the Norse Gods, does this involve Thor putting his hammer in inconvient places or Loki and black widow being kind and caring to others?" Das asked.

"Yes." Was Mr. Malory's short response.

"Well, it is within the realm of possibility as it happens. Every single day at the compound or sanctum." Pops spit out trying to keep calm.

"Oh well, maybe he should learn to be more creative with his stories." Mr. Malory spoke silently challenging Pops.

"Thanks sir." I hastily said before dragging both my dads out of their seats and walking off.

"No Pete, I would like to hear more about how much of a bad student you are." Dad argued challenging Mr Mallory.

"And I will be glad to provide. Mr Park-"

"Stark." Dad deadpans.

"Mr Stark is highly disruptive not only to Mr Thomson but is also always on his phone, sleeping in class or just straight up not listening. Honestly, his behaviour is a reflection as to why you people shouldn't be allowed to have kids, you simply don't know how to raise them." Mr Mallory continued to explain. Dad went red.

"What do you mean by you people?" Pops asked scarily calm as be placed a hand on Dad's knee to soothe him slightly.

"Gays. You shouldn't be allowed children because there's not a mother to properly raise them, I never had these issues when Peter lived with May. I honestly think it would be in his best interest to place him back in her care."

Oh my god. He knows May is dead. He knows that I can't be 'placed back in her care' and It was the same when I did live with her, nothing changed.

We were all stunned into silence, including some of the surrounding parents and teachers who were stunned. Well, we were silent until Dad blew up at him.

"How dare you," he began, "I take as good care of my son as any other parent here does, I give him as much as I can and do everything I can to be a good parent to him. If he's sleeping in your classes or being distracted then maybe you should make your lessons more interesting and not be blind sighted by your homophobic, bigoted and downright dickish beliefs. Your head may be crammed so far up your ass you can smell your lungs but maybe once join us in the real world and see that just because people are different doesn't mean they're not as capable. I will be putting in a formal complaint and if I were you, I'd start looking for new places of employment seeing as I am one of the biggest donators to this school. Come on Pete, we're going home."

Dad then grabbed Pops' hand and my arm before storming out of the building towards the car. You could see the steam coming out of his ears as Pops tried in a desperate attempt to calm him down.

I think I can safely say that this night was a disaster.

[dontcallmecarrie]

Hey, I vicariously live in my imagination to escape from the reality.

So, I have been wondering about the Rogues reaction to Tony defeating thanos, the IronSmaug, taking over the world etc...

Have a go at it, if you are interested.

It's also fine if you dont.

thanks, I really, really needed the distraction. it's been. an interesting week. not in a good way.

.

tbh, the whole 'what does Team Cap think about this mess?' thing in TWiFFON is...something I had originally been torn about, and everything that's been happening ever since means I keep finding myself going "do I have the energy to tackle this? lol no".

For some context, because you probably know my stance on this sort of thing but I prefer redundancy just to make sure we're on the same page: once upon a time, I honestly, genuinely did like the Avengers. All of them, and yes, that included Wanda [...for less than an hour, but still].

Back when I still had faith in the writers, I was constantly going "...okay, so when are these guys going to stop acting so OOC? Where tf are they planning on taking these character arcs?" and just being disappointed at each turn— but I stuck around because I liked the potential. Steve "what do you mean punching fascists isn't cool anymore?" Rogers, Natasha "my past is a tire fire and I'll just leave it at that" Romanov, Clint "where's Loki? Let me at him!" Barton and the rest of the group had their good points, and I gave myself a headache trying to figure out wtf was their thought process when the time came for them to do their thing in TWiFFON.

It wasn't fun, I only did it because it was absolutely necessary... and I still ended up receiving complaints.

Look: for me, character bashing is exhausting. I have enough going down in my life that I don't have any interest in writing it, and over the past few years I've seen more than one of the fandoms I follow/lurk in become salt mines that have me going "...okay, if you hate it so much, why are you even here?"

When I write, I try my best to emphasize the 'actions have consequences' thing I learned long before I hit puberty; but that doesn't mean I'm up for anything beyond that. Again, I used to like these characters, so seeing the levels of suffering canon— and some writers— put them through just has me stepping back for a moment.

But TWiFFON attracted a lot of people who were pretty far out there in terms of what they wanted, some of whom got very very pissy when it wasn't the story I wanted to write, which is...probably like 99% of the reason I'm still burned out on that AU. Apart from the recent personal life bs that means I am Not Up To Dealing With any hypothetical rando that shows up in my inbox, because normally I could not care less about what people think but my energy levels are. Um. Not great atm. Not sure I wouldn't bite anyone's head off if they wanted to start something right now, tbh, or just ragequit writing for a while because I have way better things to do with my time than deal with random internet assholes.

...apologies for the tangent, but now you know why that situation is one I'm normally kinda reluctant on tackling.

As for what I'd originally headcanoned:

Back before things hit the fan, I'd originally planned to have some little interlude snippets of what Team Cap's been dealing with. Mostly, it would've forced them to acknowledge that for all none of them liked or trusted Tony, he was basically just the personification of what the rest of the world thought of them.

Nobody respects them, anymore, or trusts them; Clint'd be in very hot water and sleeping on the couch for a while, and Hank Pym would never let Scott hear the end of his involvement in this whole thing because Hank hates the Stark name and the English language cannot concisely articulate just how pissed off he was that he had to publicly thank Tony.

Team Cap overall would also start to fall apart at the seams as more and more stuff came out and ey, turns out the leader they'd trusted and broken international laws for had lied to them.

By omission, sure, but honestly— do you think that'd go down well? The "oh yeah, I've known my brainwashed friend killed his parents since DC but I am not going to tell him unless I'm forced to" thing?

I don't know about you, but I for one highly doubt Sam Wilson would be okay with that. Or Clint, for that matter, and the list goes on because the more time passes, the more stuff keeps coming out of the woodwork and for the first time in years, they're forced to deal with it.

One of the things I planned to include in the sidefic can basically be summed up as "the curious case of Bucky Barnes": that is to say, what'd happen after he's taken into custody, and poke lightly at the clusterfuck we're unpacking here. Tony, feeling bad for losing control in the bunker, would basically go "shit I fucked up but I also never want to see him again but he's an even bigger mess than I am, that's a whole lot to unpack so you know what? I'm just throwing out the suitcase entirely here, have all the resources for support and help and if I ever see you again, it'll be too soon".

...to sum up, it's messy af. SI Legal would feature heavily because his particular case means he needs a team of lawyers, what with the 'former POW who's trying to recover from All The Trauma' thing, and the 'so I literally was just trying to buy some damn groceries when you guys dragged me into this', and Tony basically went "hey, so if anyone wants to help him, uh, I kinda have some interest in this one. Fair warning, dude probably killed Kennedy while mind-controlled, with our luck".

And along the way, there'd also be some of that one subplot I'd cut due to pacing issues: specifically, the one dealing with prosthetics.

Remember how Miriam Sharpe said her son would never walk again? Yeah, we'd be revisiting that: her family'd get a letter or something inviting them for clinical trials, and meet Rhodey in passing as he's using his own leg braces to get around because he's still healing. Bucky would get a few design offers for a free replacement for his arm, and it'd probably end up being a collab with Wakanda because T'Challa feels bad for his role in that mess as well.

So Team Cap would be seeing this, seeing how everyone's acting and reacting, and the way one of their own is getting all the help and support Stark Industries has to offer and realizing that yeah, they messed up. Big time.

...depending on my salt levels and how close we're sticking to canon, I was thinking this'd go one of two ways.

Either they'd double down and just go "ugh, Tony is a supervillain and we can't do anything about it!" while TWiFFON marches on and then later go "...you mean he did it by accident?!", or...

Well, canon's proven character development and continuity isn't really in their writers' vocabulary. So my original idea of 'they're forced to deal with the reality of the situation, acknowledge they messed up and slowly move on with their lives' would've been very unrealistic.

Again, most of this is intentionally vague, I had not been keen to tackle that mess in TWiFFON in the first place and the way things exploded on me means I really, really don't have the energy to do so now. Not when there's far better things I could do with my time, like mess around with AUs where people actually get along, or knit, or— well, the list goes on.

[consumeconstantly]

Small Buff Girl Sightings ch. 3

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | ao3 

Marinette wonders when she got used to the crushing weight of expectations that had been imposed upon her by the Powers That Be. She also wonders when she got used to being lonely. These are two separate events, she’s fairly sure, but it isn’t like she keeps a diary anymore. She has long since fallen out of that habit, because she doesn’t want another Sabrina incident. With the class the way it is now, she can’t even fathom how much damage her diary could bring to her classmates, and likely, the whole of Paris. Because for some reason, Hawkmoth has some sort of a vendetta against her class.

Which is the whole reason why she didn’t transfer out of Mademoiselle Bustier’s class in the first place. Sure, she tried for the first few months to expose Lila and get things back to the status quo, but Marinette can only try and fail so many times before getting tired of her classmate’s willful ignorance. Then, she stayed in class for Adrien. Such a sweet, misguided boy. Marinette wonders how he would have turned out if his father was less of an asshole, or if his mother were still around. No use crying over spilled milk; she still feels bad for him, but she’s no longer staying in class for him. Her crush on Adrien is a thing of the past. 

As it is currently, Mlle. Bustier’s class simply provides the most excellent cover for all of her escapades and an excellent vantage point to see what the next akuma might be. 

After all, their class encompasses both the people who are most often akumatized-- minus Monsieur Ramier and Augustine-- and the people who are most likely to cause somebody’s akumatization. These are the usual suspects:

Chloe, who has admittedly improved her attitude after reconciling with her mother, but still doesn’t know how to deal with people like an ordinary person would. 

Lila, whose lies and half truths have ended more than one person’s dreams (as well as her own penchant to get akumatized willingly, but that hasn’t happened often after the first year, and Marinette doesn’t really want to go into that).

Adrien, who never intends to get anybody akumatized, but ends up doing so when the media catches him doing anything. Because everything he does gets covered by the media heavily. So when he goes out with friends and is mistaken for having a lover, there are a lot of angry fangirls who get akumatized.

Oh, and then there’s Marinette herself. She’s honestly not sure how or why so many people around her end up getting akumatized-- maybe she takes other people’s luck in exchange for having an abundance of her own-- but there’s certainly quite a number.

And if she’s talking about family relations, this class takes the cake too. Adrien’s father lashes out at his employees so often that Marinette is surprised that all his workers haven’t quit yet. Gabriel’s attitude has also convinced Marinette that she never wants to work at the man’s self-named brand. Mayor Bourgois and Audrey Bourgeois are both… frightening in their own ways. Both can end careers easily, but Audrey definitely goes about ending careers in a more harmful way. Juleka’s mom pisses off anybody who tries to come down the Seine; numerous akumas have appeared in response to her loud music blasting at all times of the day. And Ivan’s parents? Sweethearts, but both are so sensitive that their family is a prime target for Hawkmoth. 

She wonders when the new boy, Damian, will get akumatized. She doesn’t think-- hopes-- that he won’t, but with the track rate of their classmates, it was highly unlikely that he wouldn’t. So far, Marinette and Adrien have been the only ones in the class who haven’t been, including the series of brief transfers to their classes last year. Maybe he’ll be another to add to their number. And Marinette and Adrien both moonlight as superheroes. There’s probably some Miraculous magic involved, but Marinette’s not entirely sure. Master Fu doesn’t have answers for many of the questions that Marinette asks.

Damian seems like a decent person with a good head on his shoulders. Marinette hopes that he transfers away from this class soon, because she would feel awful if he does end up getting caught up with her classmate’s delusional version of reality. Because even though Lila has calmed down a lot and no longer tells such outlandish tales as she did in her first year at Francois Dupont, everyone else still follows her so mindlessly that it isn’t a healthy relationship for anyone involved. Marinette is almost certain that there are multiple people in the class that must know Lila was lying but now perpetuate this twisted version of reality because they’re afraid. Ninth and tenth year were important; if Lila really did lie about all of her connections, that means they messed their own futures up and need to work on themselves to fix it--something that is difficult to admit and commit to matter what age a person is. To admit that they did something wrong and take steps to fix it-- Marinette doesn’t think any of her classmates have that kind of mindset. After all, if anyone else had guts, there’s no way that Chloe would have been class president for as long as she was.

 Lunch comes around quickly, and Damian manages to catch her on her way out, grabbing and holding her forearm. Marinette is cautious, making sure that none of Lila’s lackeys are around. Despite her agreement with Lila, her classmates tend to make everything a much bigger deal than it should be, and they always tell Lila whenever Marinette steps so much as a foot out of line. Lila doesn’t always act on her classmates' words, but when there are too many voices that say that Marinette is doing something wrong, Lila has to act; if she doesn’t, she’s at risk of losing her position of power. Once Marinette is sure there is no one from Mlle. Bustier’s class watching, she pulls Damian with her to an alleyway a short ways away from her family’s bakery.

“I’m telling you again. You really don’t want to be seen with me.” 

“If you think I care about Lila, you’re mistaken. I will be seen with who I want to be seen with.” 

Marinette’s hand is warm and calloused. Her fingertips are extra soft, like she takes care to moisturize them more than the rest of her hand. 

The alleyway is surprisingly nice. Much nicer than any alleyway that Damian would find in Gotham, that’s for certain. It doesn’t have any blood stains and there are no crazy psychos hiding in the shadows. Instead, sunlight is let through the shorter of the two buildings, only five stories. Sure, the place smells slightly of urine and trash and there’s broken bottles everywhere, but that is par for the course for any major city.

Marinette’s not sure why Damian seems to be going out of his way to talk to her. She’s seen him interact with the other students, and he was positively stoic with them. His words are still clipped when he’s talking to her, but at least he speaks full sentences.

“It’ll be bad for your social health if you keep trying to talk to me.” 

He raises an eyebrow. “I don’t believe I ever asked for you to look after my social health, and I certainly don’t want  to talk to the idiots in that class.”

“I don’t think you understand, Damian. You might not mind being alone, but being lonely is different. It feels bad, and Hawkmoth will take advantage of you.” Marinette knows what being lonely is like, because despite her loving parents and all of her friends that she’s made outside of school in the past two years, before that, her world was limited. Sometimes, she wishes that some magical being came with Miraculous. Someone that she can actually talk to about all of her problems, both hero-related and those in her everyday life. As it is, Marinette never talks about what she does as Ladybug, unless she’s referring to herself in the third person and is forced to. Marinette doesn’t need people trying to figure out she is Ladybug, and despite Master Fu’s assurances that people without a Miraculous will never, ever catch on, she prefers to err on the side of caution. And as Ladybug, she only ever talks to Chat Noir, never deigning to talk about her personal life because it will be way too easy for Adrien to make the jump between her everyday problems and Marinette, because Adrien is a Miraculous user, and the Identity Concealment magic supposedly is less effective between Miraculous users. 

“I don’t believe we’ve interacted enough for you to judge my mental fortitude. Besides, you might have told me to avoid you, but I never agreed.” 

The former part of Damian’s statement isn’t true, but Damian doesn’t know that. As a superhero, Marinette needs to know how to judge people quickly and effectively. She’s read plenty of books on psychology and body language, clocked endless hours of videos on the subject. There’s also the matter of her bountiful personal experience, what with figuring out the issues of the ever increasing number of akumas that pop up around the city. Still, it isn’t like Marinette can actively refute his statement. 

For a while, the two of them stand in contemplative silence. 

“Fine, then, I’ll tell you why you need to avoid me. We might as well get out of this alleyway, though.” Marinette eyes the dumpster that stands a few meters away from them.

“And here I thought you were fond of alleyways,” Damian says, in reference to the first time they met.

She laughs, and it feels good. Marinette hasn't laughed in quite some time. Lately, her parents are always busy. They want to expand their patissiere by opening a second branch. That means they don’t have much family time, and when they do, it’s typically spent talking shop. Manon has continued in her bratty toddler stage, and the rest of the kids that she babysits are in a similar state. Uncle Jagged and Aunt Penny are still touring, bringing Luka around for the ride, Kagami’s currently in intensive training for the World Cup, and she simply hasn’t had enough time to see any of her other friends.

“I’d like to think that I'm more fond of my parents' macarons, than I am of alleyways.” Marinette leads him through the other end of the alleyway and through a few streets to get to the back entrance that leads directly to their house instead of the bakery. At least since Maman and Papa are so busy with business, she never needs to talk about her friends in school, or lack thereof.

#

“Let me get this straight,” Damian says, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You had four transfers last year and each of them ended up as akumas multiple times because of her lies, students who don’t believe her get expelled, suspended, or bullied, and the teacher and school refuse to do anything about it?”

“Well, Principal Damocles refuses to do anything; Mlle. Bustier believes her.” Marinette sips the cup of hot cocoa she prepared and lounges on her chaise. She doesn’t bother saying that all the transfers occurred in a six month period, after which Lila let up on her tyranny and turned into an average albeit still incredibly charismatic teen. Neither does she bother mentioning that Lila doesn’t lie anymore-- at least, not any big ones-- and has stopped getting herself willingly akumatized. She’s trying to get Damian to transfer out, after all. 

“That’s even worse. They’re useless.”

“It depends on your point of view. They’re very useful if you’re Lila or the rest of the class.”

Damian swivels the chair so he’s facing Marinette in her entirety. “How have you managed three years with that orange demon? Better question, why have you not transferred?”

“Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” It’s not like Marinette can tell him the real reason why she’s staying in the class. That’s why she hasn’t told her parents about all of this. If they knew, they would definitely make her transfer classes, if not schools.

“That is no good reason for me to continue to stay with her group. I hate lying manipulators.” Damian’s mother is a good example.

“You might hate them, but if you can’t beat them and you can’t leave, you have to join them, or at least make a truce. And there’s no way Lila is going to give you up.”

“I really should just transfer.”

“I agree whole-heartedly. Please do.”

“But I can’t. My father won’t arrange a transfer for me. He wants me in that class.” More accurately-- Damian knows how many akumas came out of that class, and there is no way that he’s going to transfer away from it. It’s easier to figure out a game plan if he’s able to watch the action.

“I could arrange a transfer for you, if you want.”

“No, that’s too much trouble.”

“It’s no trouble, and if it helps one person by preventing them from getting akumatized, that’s great.”

“Why can’t you just expose her?” Damian counters.

“Tried that two years ago. Failed. Miserably. I almost got expelled.” She tactfully leaves out the fact that Lila also got her back in school. After years of making up excuses for where she’s been when an akuma attack calls her away, she’s gotten very skillful at lies by omission. Besides, if they’re to help someone, that’s okay, right? 

“If you can’t expose her then how are you going to get me transferred out?”

“Those are two separate issues. I might not be able to persuade a classroom that’s very interdependent on their relations with each other, but I was class president for two years, so I know people.” 

Damian decides to revise his tactics. “I don’t back down from a challenge. Besides, I want to see her empire crumble.”

The last part isn’t true. He cares little for the Italian girl, even less for their other classmates. People like Lila are alarmingly common when you run in the circles of the rich and powerful, and there are certainly people whose charisma is infinitely more dangerous. Lex Luthor, for instance. He shakes off thoughts of the dangerous business man. Damian needs to stay in this class because it’s the best lead that he’s got right now. He’s trying to be as covert as possible, under League request. Apparently, the Justice League of America isn’t supposed to interfere with what’s going on in Europe unless they call in for help. Damian thinks that’s a stupid rule-- in the end, they’re all just trying to protect the world-- but he agreed to secrecy and keeping his head down when accepting the mission. That means he’s not suddenly going to start asking his classmates about akumas unless they’re brought up in conversation. Unnecessary suspicion is a bad thing in this instance.

He takes another bite of the pastry that Marinette brought up for him. It’s much better than a lot of the other vegan options he’s found in Paris-- not that there are many to begin with. Everything in this damn city is made with butter or cheese. There is a lull in the conversation, and then, “She has no reason to hold on to me. I’ll just stay with you, in the back of the class.”

Marinette laughs at this.

“Lila isn’t going to let you go.”

“What do you mean by that? She let you go.” Damian almost feels like he should be affronted at some of the statements that Marinette has made. He feels like she doesn’t appreciate or know how capable he is. It feels weird to have somebody not hold him to the impossibly high pedestal of a genius billionaire’s son. Now that he’s with Marinette, he’s glad that the Justice League sent him under a different last name. He can only imagine the chaos that it would have caused when he arrived.

Marinette rolls her eyes. “She didn’t willingly let me go. She only did because I was constantly undermining her, though unsuccessfully. And besides, there’s a very big difference between the two of us.”

“I’m very capable at undermining people.”

“I have no doubt about that,” Marinette snorts. Damian Grayson is quite the character. They’ve met in the oddest of situations each time. At first, she thought he might be a stalker, but after getting to know Damian a little better, Marinette believes that it’s coincidence-- there’s no way that someone with as much pride as Damian would go out of his way to follow a mere girl. If he wanted to go out with someone, he’d simply demand it. “But the key difference is our gender. Lila Rossi may be bisexual, but her desired gender of arm candy is male. I’m sure you’ve seen her with Adrien. The blonde one?”

At Damian's nod, Marinette continues. “Don’t get your ego even more inflated, but you are good looking. You’re Lila’s type. Tall, muscular, green eyed. You’re the perfect balance to Adrien’s sunshine demeanor. Besides, she can’t have a girl with self-confidence within her circle,  so there was no way that we could have peacefully coexisted in the same group to begin with.”

Marinette’s comment about his appearance makes him feel an unexpected shock of pleasure. He knows he’s good looking. All of the Wayne kids are. He’s gotten enough compliments on his appearance to last him ten lifetimes. But knowing that Marinette finds him attractive feels different. She doesn't seem to be the type to exaggerate, and has a good objective eye for beauty.

“Yes, she already has Adrien. She doesn’t need me as well.”

“Greed never stops.” Marinette finishes her cup of hot cocoa and now stares at her ceiling, then at the wall opposite her, covered in fabric and design sketches. It seems like it was only yesterday when the walls of her bedroom were filled with the countless modelling endeavors of one Adrien Agreste. Now, there are very few pictures of him at all. She wishes that she got to hang out with him more, civilian to civilian. 

When she figured out that Adrien Agreste and Chat Noir were the same, it was a day for the record books. She had so much emotional whiplash that day that it still gives her nausea just thinking about it. Marinette figures that it is a good thing she found out when she did, otherwise she might have continued with her crush on him and would have ended up pointlessly heartbroken. She still loves him, just not the way lovers do. Marinette also suspects that Adrien himself is not looking for a relationship of any sort besides friendship. He’s been more tense in recent months, and Chat Noir confessed that people touching him made him uncomfortable.

Marinette wants nothing more but to rip Adrien from Asshole Gabriel’s hands. But she can’t, because Marinette doesn’t have the trust of Adrien Agreste. Not in the capacity that she needs him to. Not in the capacity that will allow her to unseat Gabriel as she so desperately wishes to. If Ladybug entrusted Marinette to help Adrien out, there is no doubt that Adrien would figure out her alter ego, and that is dangerous knowledge. Especially since he is so tense with everything else going on in his life. It’s a recipe for a powerful akuma and the horrifying possibility of Hawkmoth learning her civilian identity. Ever since retiring the other heroes, Marinette knows that she can’t afford to have Chat Noir or Adrien akumatized. She’s certain that she can beat him in either form, but on the off chance that Hawkmoth decides on a mass akumatization, she can’t beat them all. She’s just not strong enough, no matter how many hours she trains and no matter how many times she takes down baddies in her civilian form.

“So what, I should just let her put her hands all over me?”

That… admittedly sounds unpleasant. Marinette isn’t sure what Adrien and Lila have going on, but Marinette knows that they’re not actually in a relationship. She’s fairly sure that Adrien and Lila have stuck some sort of deal on their own, but she’s not close enough to ask Adrien, and she’s definitely not going to ask Lila. Still, when Marinette addressed her concerns with Lila’s touchy tendencies, Adrien gave her a weak smile and said that that was just part of Lila’s nature. He implied that he dealt with worse, which made Marinette worried to hell and back, but ultimately Adrien convinced Marinette that touching him was not done with ill intent by Lila and that her touch warded off other people’s interest. He promised that he was fine, and that he would tell Marinette if he was really uncomfortable. So Marinette let sleeping dogs lie, because despite her initial animosity towards Lila, she was good at manipulating attention away from Adrien whenever he was having a particularly bad day.

“I told you, I can get you transferred out.” 

“And I told you that I never back down from a challenge.”

“Then it seems like we’re at an impasse.”

“I suppose we are.” 

Marinette’s phone alarm goes off, and she jumps from her chaise. “We’ve got to get back to school. Class starts in five. You go first, I’ll clean up.”

“I am not a rude houseguest.”

“Well, I don’t want to be seen with you in school, so leave.” Marinette’s sudden burst of rudeness is unlike her, but she chalks it down to her deep-rooted desire for Damian not to end up like the four transfers last year. She keeps in contact with some of them still, and not all of them are doing all too well. Marinette really doesn’t want Damian to end up like that.

Damian’s mouth sets itself into a thin line. “Fine then, have it your way. Give me your phone number.”

A shrug. “If that’s what it’ll take for you to leave me alone during school.”

And then, Damian is off.

#

4:50PM | Unknown number: I’m testifying next Thursday.

4:55PM | Marinette: Damian?

Damian: Yes.

Marinette: oh

Marinette: me too

Marinette: i’m going to visit renee tomorrow

4:58PM | Damian: I’ll come with you. I’ll meet you at your parent’s bakery after school.

6:42PM | Marinette: uh

Marinette: how about that alleyway instead

Damian: If I must.

#

Marinette doesn’t really know what to make of Damian. The first time she meets him, she almost thinks he is another stalker. Almost, but not quite; he looks far too reluctant to be following her and looks too unfamiliar with the streets that they were going down to have done this before. Still, she doesn’t want to take any chances, so she makes quick work of her first stalker and immediately gets on the phone with the police, leaving her stalker in the alley despite her normal protocol to stay with the criminal until the police get there. She makes an exception for this, because even from a distance, the second person following her looks much more dangerous than the first, and she doesn’t want to fight with someone who’s bigger than her in a place that’s hard to run away in. 

When he appears near the alleyway he seems annoyed, then relieved and surprised when he sees the body in the alleyway. Like it was something he didn’t want to deal with.

When she brushes past him, there isn’t a hint of recognition in his eyes. Nothing except for surprise, and maybe a little bit of admiration. A raised eyebrow, saying, really? This short little girl just beat a man twice her size up? 

She ends up in violent altercations as a civilian on an almost regular basis. According to one of her stalkers, she was just so friendly. Clearly she wanted to go out with him. It’s her fault for coming onto him. When she isn’t fending off creepy men whose profiles were nearly all the same-- five to ten years older than her, with some sort of fetish for asian women (she shudders at the thought of being called exotic)-- she does her duty as a plain-clothes hero. Because her conscience will never let her get away with walking away from an instance that might end up harming someone else. Marinette feels an overwhelming sense of responsibility. She won’t forgive herself for not protecting the weak. 

#

The next time she meets him, she’s surprised that he actually approaches her and asks if she needs help. He clearly doesn’t actually want her to take him up on the offer, so she immediately turns him down. Marinette isn’t sure why he feels so compelled to offer his help when he clearly didn’t want to but-- oh merde. The class is going to leave her behind again if she doesn’t run and try to catch the bus now. She can take the metro, but she is short on the amount she needs to get all the way home. Marinette is also unwilling to turn into Ladybug, because Ladybug only ever shows up on night patrols and when there’s an akuma, and she doesn’t want to send Parisians into a mass panic.

Despite his obvious unwillingness, she reneges on her words and asks him to watch over the thief. He seems more at ease with it than she expected. Maybe he really had meant his offer. Weird. She is usually pretty good at reading people. Why can’t she get a good read on this guy?

His posture, too, is more at ease than she would expect of any civilian. Usually, if she ever asks somebody to watch over somebody she’s detained, they’re nervous and a little jumpy. Their hands are glued to their phone, ready to make a call if the slightest thing goes wrong. But this guy is relaxed and confident. Just the way he’s standing screams of years of training, in fighting and possibly in etiquette. Maybe he comes from some high class family.

She doesn’t have time to contemplate why and where and how. She just leaves him.

#

Then he comes in like a ghost, when she’s helping poor Nicolette. Somehow, Marinette knows this voice, this step pattern. She only needs a single glance up to confirm her beliefs. It’s the guy she keeps seeing around town. 

Despite her initial impression that he wasn’t dangerous, she still takes the proper measures to protect herself, just in case. She can never be too sure in situations like these, and although he has been nothing but helpful, she doesn’t particularly want to be on the receiving end of one of his punches. He looks like an athlete. Long, lean muscle. Dangerous too, if his eyes are anything to go by.

They’re dark green and calculating. He’s gone through Things. Marinette can almost guarantee that the guy has encountered at least a few life-threatening situations. 

She wonders how it is that he only ever seems to appear once she’s done with whatever issue she’s dealing with. Is he stalking her to see the extent of her abilities? Is he trying to make her let her guard down? Something about him makes Marinette anxious. He looks like he wants to tear her apart to see her inner workings. To figure her out. He makes Marinette feel like he’s always on the verge of finding out her biggest secret, and she hates it. 

Still, he makes for a pretty reliable cleanup partner. She doesn’t think that she would trust a regular civilian to keep watch over any person she thought was dangerous. Fraser is just a little too dangerous for Marinette to consider leaving alone in the street. She certainly would not have passed his care to any regular stranger. 

But Nicolette is clearly in need of comfort, and Damian looks like he can take care of himself and any trouble that comes his way. Which makes Marinette even more wary of him. Would she be able to beat him in her civilian form? She is certain that she could if he is just some common street thug-- she’s taken down people bigger than him-- but she gets the foreboding feelings that he is more than that.

#

It’s almost comforting to see Damian’s reaction to Ladybug and the akuma. He looks equal parts confused and awe struck. There is a touch of cynicism in there, for sure, a little bit of disbelief, but somehow, it lets Marinette breathe a temporary sigh of relief. 

He doesn’t know what is going on in Paris. He doesn’t know her-- either side of her. And it is going to stay that way. 

#

Of course it doesn’t stay that way. Marinette uses up all of her luck during her time as Ladybug, so the person who is currently at the top of her Avoid list shows up to her school as the American transfer. Of course he decides to sit next to her. She bemoans the loss of her blessedly empty desk. Damian is taller and larger than most boys their age, but he sits far enough away from her. 

That’s a good sign. He’s not going out of his way to touch her or make contact with her. Maybe this whole thing is just a coincidence. Please, let this whole thing be just a coincidence

Then he starts talking to her, and of course he notices the whole thing with Lila, how can he not? She didn’t make a wrong judgement on his level of perceptiveness. Great. That is one thing she would have gladly lost a bet on. Now, she has to deal with possible ramifications of Damian, six foot Adonis, not wanting to get along with Lila. Lila will not like this. Marinette knows exactly what she wants in her little circle: attractive boys and girls that are less pretty or less confident than her. People who are easily controlled by promises and tall tales. And although Damian only fits one of those categories, he will undoubtedly be on her shopping list. 

After their awful first year together, Lila proposed a truce of sorts. They could either try being friends or they could stay out of each other’s ways. Lila wouldn’t actively bully Marinette, and Marinette wouldn’t actively try to expose her. 

She can feel Lila’s eyes on her. Green. It seems like everybody and anybody who brought her trouble nowadays had green eyes. Tonight, she’ll throw out all the green items that she owns. Marinette doesn’t need any more bad luck around her.

#

 They return from lunch, and Marinette prays to every God whose name she knows that he is no longer sitting in the back seat. That Lila successfully swept him up. 

Of course she hasn’t. Damian’s too smart for his own damn good. Which means that she needs to start preparing for the consequences of the inevitable fallout. She really doesn’t want Damian to turn into an akuma. She’s pretty good at telling which people will be more powerful (devastating? devastating.) in their akumatized forms than others, and she’s pretty sure that Damian would round out her top five, alongside Adrien, her Maman, her cousin, Bridgette, and herself. People who have more control over themselves are that much scarier when they fall apart. 

#

This time, Damian shows up before things are completely settled, and she’s thankful for it. 

If she wants to build a case against this woman, she does not need accusations of her own violence levelled against her. Thus, Marinette had been almost entirely ready and willing to feel the woman’s slap, maybe even her nails cutting through her skin. None of that matters, though. Not in comparison to Renee’s future.

In Renee, Marinette can see a lot of Adrien. He is blonde, is soft spoken from what little she’s seen of him, and lives firmly under a rich and manipulative parent’s thumb. Even though he’s scared of getting hit by his mom, Marinette can feel, instinctively, that if she hits the woman back, not only will she be in trouble with the case, she will also have scared Renee. 

Damian steps in at exactly the right time, and leaves her free to call the police. 

Though he’s quiet throughout the ride to the station, she does see him look at the little boy in concern. Other than that, he seems curious. A little child-like, even. His eyes are darting around the inside of the cruiser. It’s almost comical. Maybe he’s scared of being in the back of the police car, but she can’t find it in her to bring out a laugh. Not when Renee is on her lap. Not when she can feel his tears through her shirt and his soft little hiccups. Marinette hates that woman. Hates her so much. Hates Gabriel, too.

Marinette is focusing more on Renee and the woman more than Damian, but when she does spare him a glance, he seems unsure. Discomfited. Maybe he wants to reassure Renee that it will be alright. 

She has been preparing for a situation in which she can take Gabriel to court for almost an entire year now. Despite this, Marinette still pulls out her phone and checks a few websites to make sure that all of the information she has is correct.  Damian pulls out his phone too, though he’s just fiddling with it so his hands have something to do. 

By the time Marinette breaks past the woman’s painfully bad facade of being a good parent, Marinette feels her blood boiling. She knows that she is not immune to being akumatized, and is very glad that it’s highly unlikely Hawkmoth sends out another akuma today. 

It hurt a little when she first discovered that she could be akumatized. She was thirteen, Ladybug, and invincible. Then, she was thirteen, Marinette, and scared. Despite the situation at the time, Marinette could never bring herself to fully hate Lila. In part, because she believed--and still believes-- that Adrien is at least partially right. She sees it, periodically. How lonely Lila is behind her lies and friendships. Marinette doesn’t know what the girl is missing, and she doesn’t particularly care to know, but Lila is young and immature and has time to shift her course. And after their truce, Lila backed down a lot. Her lies are soft, now. Quiet. Most times nonexistent. She doesn’t need to do much to manipulate the class into loving her because she laid down all the groundwork during that first, horrible year.

But Marinette feels entitled to be angry at these parents who treat their children like they are nothing more than tools. Like they are subhuman. Maybe some parents can’t love their children-- she understands that to some extent-- and maybe they can’t be with them all the time. However, if love isn’t possible, they should still treat their child with the basic courtesy of human decency. And there is a point where neglect turns into abuse. Marinette knows that-- sees that with Adrien and Gabriel-- all too well. 

Marinette is glad that all of her previous encounters with criminals taught her to record from the moment she interferes. She is glad that she sprung for a phone with extra amounts of storage. Her palms are hot and trembly, but her head is cold. She feels a twisted sense of accomplishment wrenched from her gut as she watches Renee’s mother flee from the room. 

It is in this cold daze that she finds herself outside with Damian. Alone together, again. And he asks her about Lila, and she doesn’t want to deal with whatever dangers Damian brings with him. She’s had to fight off an akuma, deal with an absolute horror of a woman, and when she goes home, she will have to finish a commission and study for a test tomorrow. Damian is an unnecessary complication. 

Somehow, her life has become a never ending cycle. At least she will sleep better at night knowing that Renee is in better hands.

[popculturebuffet]

The Loud House Valentine’s Day Double Feature (Back in Black and Stage Plight) or My My My Once Bitten Twice Shy

What is up my Loudites? And while I am returning to the Loud House I do have some sad news to get out of the way first.. i’m ending regular coverage of the Loud House. I don’t like doing this.. but when I picked up the show, I didn’t really have a set schedule.. and that was a bad thing as I didn’t get nearly everything I wanted done. Now I have one and honestly it’s been great: it allows me to stay focused and if I end up not feeling what I was going to do that day, provided it’s not a comission or specfically needed that day, I can swap things around a bit easier. 

The reason I bring this up is Nick’s way of scheduling means I CAN’T reasonably put the show on the schedule. They often don’t announce airdates until the wee before, which isn’t a bad thing WATCHING, and isn’t unresonable for a children’s network. But for someone who likes to have a concrete schedule at the top of the month, still flexable and able to make changes if they come up but at least some idea of what i’ll be doing and when, that’s a non-starter, as not knowing when a show’s going to be there or not really messes with things. In contrast Disney puts up their entire programming schedule for next month towards the end, so I know if a show’s coming back, and thus that it’ll probably be around for next month’s too. And if it goes away a week earlier than expected then super I have that space for other sttuff. But I just have too much other stuff, paid and on my own time, to keep friday’s open in perpetuity.

I will however still reviewing the show infrequently as I still love it, Season 5 will probably have plenty of episodes I want to talk about, already it has Leni running for mayor which sounds like one of my wonky spinoff ideas and I love it all the more for that, and ther’es tons of episodes I have and haven’t seen to dig into. So like Lori I won’t be in the house on a daily basis but i’m still going to show up a lot. I already have an April Fools special planned, as well as a retrospective ready for some time in the future. And of course if more Sam and Luna episodes show up, you know i’ll be on those as fast as humanly possible so yeah not leaving the show.. just not coveirng it because I like having some control of my schedule, it’s a thing with me. 

Good then we can get to why your ACTUALLY reading this unless you’ve already scrolled past or scrolled up to this. Next Sunday is Valentine’s Day, and so to continue Valnetine’s Shenanigans on this fine blog, i’m doing some romantic style episodes of the loud hosue for you. I did intend for this to be bigger, but frankly i’ve been running behind on reviews and running out of steam lately, so I paired it down to the two I wanted to do most. So for today we’ll be covering two of the show’s couples: One they badly need to bring back and I question why they haven’t, and one that I feel has gotten a lot of flack for things that aren’t it’s fault. Both are really adorable so expect some awkward blushing, bats, blood, and other stuff rhyming with B under the cut!

Back in Black: So we begin our double feature with Lucy

Yeah I have not covered this adorable harbinger of death enough on this blog, and intended to do this one, among other lucycentric episodes back in october.. and the fact I didn’t is a good argument for why I have a schedule now ain’t it? But sometimes your plans not panning out right at the exact time you planned them works out for you. Not getting to do Plan 9 From Mission Hill during Pride Month meant I got to do it on comission later. And not getting to do this one at Halloween means it still works fine just fine for valentine’s day.  

So we begin the episode with Lincoln working on his science project, with Rusty coming over to help. 

Shockingly though not only is he not just taking a nap or hitting on Lincon’s sisters while Lincoln works but actually helping, he’s actually good at it. I’m as suprsied as you. Though this is early in his characterization, so he hasn’t’nt been established as horribly sucking at everything or his friends being done with his bullshit QUITE yet. Give him time.  This is an interesting moment in the character’s history though, as it’s the episode that firmly establishes him as a close friend of Lincolns. While he was already turned from a member of a random violence gang to LIncoln’s buddy in the span of season 1, this episode cements him as one of his closer pals simply by him coming over and the two being fairly familiar with one another. Granted by that same token Girl Jordan should be in the group.. and I have nothing to add to that. Add Girl Jordan to the Lincrew. Just do it. 

Anyways Rusty brought his brother along. And you’d expect me to be terrified as there’s now three of them. But.. nope I like Rocky. He’s a chill kid and his personality goes together well with Lucy’s as while he’s a more typical kid, he’s still very subdued in his emotions like she is. Also he mentions both parents so my divorce theory.. is honestly still valid as this was three seasons ago and I could buy their mother left during that time. 

And yes Lucy’s in love.. and stalking him a bit as she follows him around the house sighing while he wonders who did that.. though it is a nice clue their compatible. When you can sense the presence of someone whose big running gag is showing up out of nowhere to scare the crap out of people that means something. And it’s either that you’d really get that person or your Wolverine. Or one of his kids. Or his clones. Or clones of his clones. What i’m saying is Rusty’s mom banged the wolverine and his family tree is really weird even by marvel standards. 

But I do give her a pass as she’s not trying to be creepy or obsessive, she just doesn’t know how to talk to him as he’s your average kid and she’s a creature of the night. It’s just a kid being shy which is very refreshing both because pre-savnio being fired the show had some very messed up ideas about relationships and gender politics at times, the latter of which actually crops up here, and because having grown up with the cartoons of the 90′s and 2000′s.. I had to put up with things like this. 

Full Disclosure: I DO ship sonamy.. but only after around Sonic Chronicles, where Bioware and then Sega decided to not make “Constantly harasses sonic despite him clearly not being interested and saying so vocally” and “Obessess over him to a point I worry she’s going to break his legs so he’ll never run away from her again”, as well as aging her up from 12. Still find her ungodly annoying at best and terrible at worst before that point, Sonic CD and Sonic Advance excluded. And yes I am that huge of a nerd, damn proud of it too. 

What i’m getting at is that a little girl unable to talk to a guy and only being kinda creepy because that’s what she does is LEAGUES better than “IT’S NOT CREEPY WHEN A WOMAN DOES IT”. Given this episode was written by a woman that probably helped a lot if not entirely but I don’t blame her for that.. more on that later. 

Point is she’s smitten but her first attempt to talk goes back as he rushes to leave after she tries talking to him.. and also appears out of nowhere to spook him. Come on man, your better than that. YOu sensed her before why not now? Up your game. But yeah Lucy’s depressed while Lincoln talks to her about it, about them leaving and once Lucy confesses she’s into rocky asks what he’s into. Lincoln.. has no idea as he’s barely been around Rocky. He’s just an average kid he dosen’t quite understand. Normal is the word he uses and Lucy ponders that.  We next see the three most traditionally feminine sisters, Lori, Leni and Lola, all pissed someone stole their stuff, though Lori does suspect Lola at first because let’s face it, this fits her MO of being an entitled brat and not being above petty theft. But no the culprit is Lucy who genuinely apologizes and understands that their mad but the other girls are fine with it given the context, which Lucy explained, and are happy to make her over.  This is where the problem I was hinting at comes in: ALL the girls are on board with this makeover plan. the problem is.. only the three who came in in the first place make actually sense making Lucy more tradiotnally feminine. Lori loves fashion and is a control freak who has troubles with empathy at times especially at this point in the series, Leni while not INTETIONALLY hurtful is kind of ditzy and thus can miss some cues, and Lola has a yawning starless void where her soul should be. For these three? Yeah this plot actually makes sense they wouldn’t think of Lucy’s feelings and actually help her use who she is to get rocky or tell her it doesn’t matter she’s beautiful as she is.. then presumably bring the wrath of god down on that poor child before things were cleared up.  The issue is more dragging the other sisters into it. It only fits the three above to really give a shit about making Lucy more “normal” and “Girly” and “Other stereotypical bullshit”. Luna is very chill and empathetic and would be the first to say “Wait maybe making her the opposite of herself isn’t a good idea”, Luan is likewise empathetic though I could possibly see it she really doesn’t need to be in this plot, Lynn ENTIRELY doesn’t fit as she prefers sports and getting dirty and what not and is the closest to Lucy out of the sisters and thus would probably be the most defensive about her not changing and that could’ve actually been interesting, Lana would be the same minus the being closest and Lisa is coldly detached a lot of the time and wouldn’t care about any of this on a good day. It feels HORRIBLY offensive and out of character to have them all suddenly be “nah your not girly enough”. These girls don’t give a shit about whose more feminine than who and it’s really bad to pidgeonhole them as that.  However.. I dont’ blame episode writer Gloria Shen entirely for this. She wrote it, she gets some of the discredit.. but she didn’t DIRECT the episode and a LOT can change from page to screen. No  THAT was series creator and known sexual preadator Chris Savino. And i’m not just blaming him because he’s a creepy asshole, but because the seasons he directed, seasons 1, 2 and most of 3, had a bad habit of having episodes where all the girls acted as a group and often to weak ends, like the green house, the one where they all fought, the gender swap episode or  heavy meddle.. which is a headache for another day. Point is it doesn’t surprise me he didn’t fix this or even genuinely cared to differentiate  them and it’d be until next season where the show fully became an ensemble piece. SO yeah I blame him on this not for his horrible history, but simply because it sounds like his writing style and as director, and a producer on the show, he had the power and responsibility to fix things and did nothing. So if it wasn’t directly his fault in the first place , he certainly didn’t fix it, call it out in storyboarding or well anything. So yeah shared blame all around.

So after a makeover montage, Lucy is uh... well I can’t describe the abomination they’ve created. 

I mean.. none of it works, and I think that’s very much the intent, dosen’t make it any less horrifying. Nothing about this is right: makeup REALLY shouldn’t go on a child in any circumstace so the blush on her cheeks is creepy and makes her look like one of those creepy porcelian dolls that i’m 100% sure either are planning to kill us all one day or were made to keep the souls of the damned trapped inside forever. The ear rings just look creepy and again are a bit much for an 8 year old, and the blonde hair just brings it all together. The pink outfit is fine.. I guess but the face is just so unsettling I can’t process the rest of her outfit and i’m not even going to try. 

Point is she looks terrifying, and not in the fun way she usually does, and Rocky dosen’t know what to make of this. Oh and if your wondering why he’s here Lynn just.. took a hockey stick to Lincoln’s project to get the Spokes Boys back over here, and Lisa mocked him for pointing out the obvious holes in their plan despite being 4 and LIncoln having a girlfriend at this point. Granted his relationship with Ronnie Anne at this point is also kinda effed up, but given you all pushed him in this direction, Lisa still has no room to talk and they amicably broke up at some point once the writers decided “Let’s pretend like this never happened and they were just friends, despite her being introduced with a crush on him and us still replaying episodes with said relationship in play, instead of actually dealing with this directly”. You may be easily able to guess what hte retrospective’s about at this point.  So Lori comes in for phase two .. WITH BOBBY!

Just.. I cannot tell you how much I needed my boy to calm me down after the last two scenes of horribly off character writing and ... that thing up there. He dosen’t do much this episode but every episode is better with Bobby and that’s a scientefic fact. So Lori claims they had a double date fall through which Bobby barely follows along with.. and it does kinda feel pressurey to kinda force Rocky’s hand here but her intentions ARE good, and a group date is a good way to relive presssure. It just ends up falling through becaue Lori wants her to act intentionally helpless, which makes no sense both for Lori’s personality given how driven and controlling she is and how Bobby clearly knows both things and likes the first and she worked on the second for him. So yeah the golf date falls through and Lori apologizes for being a bitch about all of this, as they all do, which again. .has me questioning WHY we needed the whole sister group instead of just Lori and co. Or even just Lori. The show REALLY needed to learn character ballance and while it is struggling on occasion, as seen with how lincolncentric this season has been so far, this episode reminds me it used to be MUCH worse. 

But Lucy thanks them because their intetnions were good, i’m going to need a citation on that given it came off as them wanting her to change because they found her weird nad not because they genuinely wanted to help her, and goes off to sulk about being alone. Lincoln dosen’t know what to do till the next day where, again suprisingly, Rusty had the right idea and had them come over to his place. We also find out he’s scared of blood.. which.. I can relate to. Seriously i’ve only insulted the guy once the whole episode

But we find that out because Rocky made his own because he actually found Lucy’s really cool, what a kid. So Lincoln gets the brothers over to his house by damaging the project himself then claming they need to go back and once he sees Lucy’s around has Rocky go into the kitchen to get them some sodas which he agrees to because why not. 

So in a nice little change-up on the running gag Rocky shows up startling Lucy and we get a really fucking cute scene as they hash things out. They have a normal conversation, finally getting past their shared awkwardness, in part because he admits he prefers her as herself.  As it turns out Rocky wasn’t scared.. he just thought she was too cool for him and felt intimidated and like Lucy had no idea what to say. The two then blush and after my heart melts and I freeze it back into shape in a few hours, the two decide to go look at her coffin collection and the next day proudly show off their perfected fake blood.. which destroys the project one more time. WAH WAH WAH. Oh rusty... I knew I could count on you to fuck up at least once. 

Back in Black Final Thoughts: First off Black in Black: Weird Name. I mean it kinda gives the game away, not that fans would thikn horrifying mistake lucy would stick but still, and dosen’t really fit. Call it “Why Do Ghoul’s Fall in Love” or something like that or something related to makeovers. Makeover Mistep. Don’t Make Me Over. Makeover Your Case... okay that last one sounds more like the Legally Blond equilvent of Cobra Kai but the point is it’s just weird.  Outside of the parts I already went in detail about why their dreadful.. this ep is pretty good. That one bit isn’t enough to derail the episode, merley take it’s goodness down a notch, and Lucy is genuinely fun to watch and her heartbreak is hard to watch, and Rocky was an engaging new character with lots of potetial. A large part of why I did this episode. is to ask WHY he hasn’t come back. Rusty’s now a major character, to the point he’s co-headlining an episode next week with Zach... why Zach’s getting an episode, a SECOND one at that I have no earthly idea but the point is the show’s getitng comfortable enought heir giving lincoln’s friends starring episodes without him too, as Liam got one , if alongside Lynn the power couple of 2021 I tells ya. My point is, besides when is Stella getting an episode dammit, that Rocky really should make a come back as he both provides another character for Rusty and the rest of the lincrew to bounce off of, and he and Lucy had genuine chemstiry and now she has her OWN cast there’s an easy story there about her friends reaction to her dating a non goth. There’s a lot of story potetial with this precious boy bring him back.  But overall Pretty in Black is a decent episode, worth checking out if you haven’t seen it and rewatching even if you have.

Stage Plight: So we open with Luann, whose one of my personal faviorites along with Leni, Luna, and Lucy. Granted I haven’t checked out her yearly bouts of going ax crazy on her family yet, but we’ll see in april. But outside of that, which is easy enough to isee iven it’s three episodes out of 214 where she’s like this and she gets her compuance, I find her precious, awkward, and entertaining, from her habit of saying “Get it “ to her love of puns, to the fact she’s essentially a wholesome version of the batman villian the ventriloquist..

Yeah in case you forgot about this gag, she often talks through her dummy Mr. Coconuts.. who functions as her sounding board and helps her figure things out, talks like he’s from the 40′s or 50′s, and in general is a delight. He also once or twice, including this episode acts of his own free will so I don’t know if this is a Child’s Play situation and a dying comedian put his body in her dummy and she’s just rolling with it, if she somehow put a piece of her soul in a dummy or what the hell’s going on here. Compared to the series recently what with it’s mayoral campagins, children murdering guys, and actualy factual spies, this is mildly sane. MIldly. This may also be a serious and untreated case of Disociative Identnity Disorder, but given it’s not framed that way, and Coconuts just seems to be Luann’s way of talking with herself, for now she has’nt gone full vintriloquist. Thoguh givne her april fools day behavior and her profession as a comedian, she probably WILL become the new joker at a some point. 

So the two are talking about Luann’s crush on Benny. Benny was introduced back in L is for Love and is one of the only three love interests there to actually return, and along with Sam the only onen to get multiple episodes about their relationship with their respective loud and a full personality. He was also MASSIVELY hated. For those who joined the fandom more recently, Luann was massively shipped with Maggie, an emo girl who showed up in Luann’s second spotlight episode and one where she didn’t torment her entire family, one I still need to see but have read about. It was pretty cute and nothing was wrong with that or the opposites attract dynamic. But said fans got REALLY and understandibly upset about his introduction and were presumibly none too happy he got to return and got his roll expanded.  And I.. genuinely like the kid. I have nothing against Maggie and in fact poly ship her with both Luann and Benny, as both seem like they’d be open to that and her dour demanor creates a nice contrast between the chipper luann and the somewhat chipper but also chill benny in the middle. I just feel he’s a very likeable character, sweet and awkward and very much on Luann’s wavelength. Like Sam he’s SIMILAR to his love intrest, having Luann’s love of puns, mime and the theater, but is also not quite as giggly about it and as I said has a bit more of a chill to him, in contrast to how sam is slightly more energetic to Luna’s near constant calm off stage. 

I also like him because he’s voiced by Sean Giabrone, an up and coming voice actor who I first met watching the Goldbergs as Adam. His other biggest role so far has been playing Jeff on Clarence, though he’s currently picked up another lead voice roll as Yumulack on Solar Opposites, easily one of the best parts of that show, and has done othe rminor and recurring work, but I feel he’s got the potetial to have a long and fruitful career in voice acting if he wants it. I mean he’s far from the first former ABC star or former Ron Stoppable to make a long and successful voice career of himself. Be the next will fredle man you can do it. 

But yeah I like him and think their cute together and feel demonizing a ship for one that had a low chance of happening isn’t fair, especially when you know, we’re in a fandom where incest runs rampant and is STILL a recurring problem to this day. Pick your fucking battles for god’s sake. As I mentioned you can put maggie in with this relationship or Still ship luaggie regardless. 

So back in the episode Luann and Coconuts notice Benny signing up for the school play and decide to join him. 

Yeah i’ve noticed that a LOT of school set plots are about one of the mains joining a play to either be near or play romantic lead with their crush, or romantic hyjinks happening anyway.  Seriously i’ts a lot. I DID think most of them were around romeo and juliet, and Proud Family, Pepper Anne, and Ned’s Declassified all are probably why, it’s actually way more diverse and i’m happy to give credit to shows and movies for that:  Jimmy Neutron used Macbeth (IN SPACEEEEEE), American Dragon Jake Long used Antony and Cleopatra, as did the comic strip Foxtrot (That one I remembered), Daria used the canterbury tales, Arrested Development used Much Ado about Nothing, and one of my faviorite instances is the film Get Over it. It’s a cheesy as hell early 2000′s high school pg-13 comedy, that I loved as a teen and nos nostalgicaly love but am aware it has issues and some stitled acting as an adult where our hero joins the high school play in order to win his ex girlfriend back from the douchebag she’s seeing now and ends up falling for his best friend’s kid sister instead. They do a mid summer’ night’s dream, which is not only awesome SOMEONE thought to use that one , as the film has given me a special affection for the play.. but it’s a cheesy musical version written by the gloriously over acted director of the play played by martin short. 

My faviorite part of it is the boy band style number about Hermia. Yes really. And I didn’t even get into the fact Siquo is one of the main character’s best friends, Kristin Dunst had to reshoot a scene while making the first rami spider-man , our heroes weird parents who are sex therapists and have no real filter AND offer Coolio a threesome on their advice show, and yes the actual coolio and yes that was an actual person that existed, or best of all the douchey rival who stole our heroes girlfriend, whose not only a former boy band member whose band peformed the song love scud, but also threatens our hero with nunchucks at one point. 

Just see this movie.. i’ll hopefully talk about it some day. 

Point is this kind of plot is stock.. but it’s the good kind you can do a lot of twists and turns with as every example mentioned, even the ones using the crush thing, had some clever twist or turn. And this one is no exception as we’ll see. 

So we meet Ms. Berardo, the schools HAMMY as hell drama teacher who gives herself an entrance and is just wondrously entertaining throughout. She’s played by Grey Delise Griffin, which I could recognize immodestly and man does she bring it. Seriously bring her back. Wonderful character. So our heroine and her leading man audition and in a refreshing change of pace they do not get the lead rolls, instead a modern valley girl and a jock who writes his stuff on his arms do so instead.  But since Bernado’s a bit nuts, she decides to have the Montagues and Capulets practice separately despite tha not making a ton of sense, to drive up tension and what not. I mean isolating an actor to drive up tension is a vallid technique but even having not read Romeo and Juliet since high school, over a decade ago, I can tell you they have several scenes together and this is a logistical nightmare. However our heroine finagles her way over to swapping camps so she can talk to Benny since honestly given the whole thing was a way to get to spend more time with him, she might as well quit otherwise. It also.. isn’t a bad tactic. She wants to know him before asking him out properly, which is fair and a good way to go, and they already know each other and are friendly, and it’s something she likes doing anyway as they were both involved with a play in his first appearance and her liking theater makes sense as she’s a comedian, and while she clearly prefers standup, it’s often a natural evolution to go fromt hat to acting in comedy stuff or making your own show, so it’s not a bad idea to learn that side of the buisness too. 

So Luann FINALLY gets to talk to Benny.. after fast ball specialing mr coconuts in the way of someone trying to sit down

But we get a really cute moment as the two just.. talk like two dorky teenagers; They talk about the real mimes of la, which I want badly to be a show.. even if it’s just to find out what the Mime from Animaniacs is up to now. Where DID that guy go? Did the anvil finally kill him? These are the kinds of things that keep me up at night.. which is probably why I’m finishing this at 4 in the morning. But the two have genuine chemistry with Luann offering him her banana, phrasing, and making a pun he chuckles at. It’s adorable as all hell. 

And Bernardo notices, and since her leads have no sparks she regretfully demotes them.. though their reaction is hilariously realistic as both are just happy to have less lines and walk off. She decides to cast Luann and Benny despite being freshman which would never happen but eh this is a unvierse with a snakebird and spies trying to destroy cherries with a death laser why I do I care two seasons later if two freshman got the leads in the play. Still I love the twist: our hero wasn’t trying to get the lead to creeiply force intamacy or anything.. the two just had natural chemistry and the director noticed that and wants to use it. 

But while this should be great.. it isn’t as Luann keeps dodging actually kissing Benny when they rehearse the kiss. The reason.. is really frigging endearing. Luann simply hasn’t kissed anyone before, this will be her first.. and naturally she’s REALLY nervous about having it in front of a crowd or Benny thinking she’s a bad kisser. And I mean... while I had no personal experience at that age in kissing, most media and personal accounts detail it as awkward as fuck. But that’s the irony: she dosen’t KNOW it’s always awkward and thus is putting a ton of pressure on herself like anyone her age.

So she breaks under the pressure despite the reasurances of her Dummy/Possible Sign that she needs therapy and while she finds a way out the next Day Benny has aburbtly quit because of “chess club”.. which he’s not in. Luann finds him and talks to him about it, worried it’s her fault.. and she’s right, though Benny bowed out because she clearly wasn’t comfortable with him and didn’t want to make her kiss him when she clearly wasn’t comfortable with it. What a man what a man what a mighty good man. Luann TRIES to explain.. and then lets Mr Coconuts do it. Which usually in high school would lead to humilating rejection. instead Benny brings out his own puppet Mrs. Appleblossom. 

Just those eyes.. black and souless.. like a doll’s eyes.. because htey are a doll’s eyes. So yeah Benny also has a puppet he uses to say the things he’s too nervous to say. Which is endearing even if again , KILL IT. KILL IT. I mean i’ts like tha tone guy from victorious if the puppets were actually charming and one of them looked like it was about to play hide the soul. Mrs. Appleblossom explains that Benny is also nervous and with the air cleared and the two realizing theyw ere nervous about the same thing... the inevitible happens

So that fades into the kiss happening on stage, with Luann’s family cheering her, our heroes take a fookin bow and Coconuts and Appleblossom look on.. and talk somehow...and somehow got in the seats on their own. 

Stage Plight Final Thoughts: This episode.. is one of the series best, with great pacing, a low amount of repetition and a relatable conflict, while building up Luann’s love intrest to be a wonderful and engaging guy, and giving us a hell of a guest character and Mrs. Gerardo. This episod eis great, the chemistyr between Gambrone and Pucelli is fantastic. This one is just awesome and worth a look especially if the ship contrversy had hit you hard. It really is good. And there’s always room for benny. Until the next rainbow it’s been a pleasure. 

[woeismyhoe]

Spill the tea, what's the deal with you and the BSG group (avatar-chang and her squad in particular)?

Ok anon, sorry for taking so long! I wanted to get everything right and honestly collecting the posts took a longass time xD

Anyways, the only ones I have a problem there are avatar-chang, hexful/dykesia/bizukos, catrademption, cardboardseagulls (never seen interacted b4) and bizulas (also never interacted b4).

I’m going to be really transparent about this whole thing so it’s gonna be long as there’s gonna be several links and I’ve included the dates so it’ll be easier to understand. Since I’ll be fully transparent about this, i’ll probably get hate or whatever. Honestly, I just want to put everything out there without being biased or hiding anything. I’m going to disclose everything here.

So, the whole thing between me and avatar-chang started off with this post I made last year on 10 March 2019. Afterwards, she PMed me on the same day and this was the conversation:

After that, I thought the argument was over because she blocked me lmao. The only ones I spoke to about this was nbw and my real life friends (who had nothing to do with ATLA lmao I just ranted to them).

And then the next incident I think was on 16 March 2019 when I made this post about Azula’s abuse of her friends. I was new and 16. I genuinely wanted to know why people labeled Azula as an abuser. It was dykesia who responded to me at the time.

Now, unlike avatar-chang, I had a few conversations with dykesia (who was bizukos then) that was generally civil. I first interacted with her when she made a post calling out Zucest shippers or something?? I was very new. Like fresh newbie baby ATLA tumblr fan new lmao so I thought what she said was too aggressive. I didn’t realize that there were actual Zucest shippers until after some time. And then she PMed me on 13 March 2019, saying that she doesn’t always agree on characters with me but I do write some interesting pieces on Azula— that she’s a huge fan of Azula but she just tends to stay away from her fandom. I apologized about the previous incident of the Zucest thing and it was fine after then. We talked about zuko, the fandom, the comics, Mai etc etc. I thought we were on fine terms.

And then I made a post about the cliff scene in the comics on 16 March 2019. Avatar-Chang made a post that was pretty directed at the post but it seems like she’s deleted it.

On 17 March 2019, I received an anon mail telling me that avatar-chang was talking shit about me behind my back. I censored her name then because I didn’t want to believe without any evidence. No one sent me any screenshots about it so I just dismissed it.

On the same day, avatar-chang answered an anon and talked about the 13 child post theory I made on 9 March.

On 23 April 2019, I received another anon mail about avatar-chang, asking if I’d seen the post she made about Azula. I censored her name again cuz I didn’t want to start any shit over having differing opinions. I’m assuming this is the post the anon was referring to.

On 28 April 2019, dykesia/hexful/bizukos PMed me to ask if I was talking shit about other people behind their backs, and her. I denied this because I hadn’t. This was how the conversation went:

Yes, I didn’t censor any name because as I said, full transparency. I have afp blocked because we’ve clashed several times and he’d still come for my posts last year despite already being blocked. If you’ve followed me long enough, you probably would’ve rmbered that time lmao

Anyways during then, I don’t think I realized that dykesia was actually being passive aggressive. It’d been barely a year since I started the blog and I just didn’t want to full out make enemies. Reading the messages now tho lmao she really was passive aggressive. But yeah then she said this in bsg so I don’t even know why she bothered to ask me if she wasn’t even going to consider believing me.

The 9th of June 2019 was the last time she messaged and it was to ask if I mind her discoursing this Zuko post while ‘hard and drunk’. It was the first time she could apparently agree with me so it was I quote a ‘Yay??’. Afterwards I don’t know when she did it but she blocked me lmao

On 17 July 2019, I received another anon mail telling me that avatar-chang publicly called me a bitch when she was answering an anon about me posting the scans of the EK Chronicles. She mentioned this in bsg again on 19 April 2020 lmao (she’s that petty) it seems:

On November 8 2019, an anon (one of avatar-chang’s friends actually) asked about my thoughts towards the allegations against Aaron Ehasz. I still believe in the system of ‘Innocent before proven guilty’, so I didn’t side with anyone. I tried to be as objective as possible. When I said that I hoped men would also come forward, I said that because I don’t want men to just sit on the sidelines and let the women get the heat if they were telling the truth. At the end of this whole thing, I concluded that Ehasz was a dick of a boss to the girls. Being called an abuser carries more weight than just being a dick. Everyone has been a dick at one point, but being an abuser is something else. Just because Ehasz was a dick doesn’t mean I’m going to stop watching TDP or dismiss his involvement in ATLA.

The next day, BSG brought the issue up despite both avatar-chang having already blocked me by then lmao

On 5 February 2020, after Legacy of the Fire Nation came out, I made a post calling out Iroh’s bs to Azula (guy literally blames Azula for everything that happened to Zuko (something which avatar-chang agrees with apparently, and Iroh even sees Ozai in a better light).

That’s so far what I’ve remembered that involved avatar-chang and dykesia.

Moving on to the next three attackers: catrademption, cardboardseagulls and bizulas.

I’ve seen catrademption around, but I don’t remember if we’ve clashed before. We must have though cuz she’s got me blocked lmao and I mostly only debate back to people when they reply to my posts. For cardboardseagulls and bizulas, I don’t think I’ve ever seen them them before but obviously they’ve seen my blog and misinterpreted everything I’ve written.

But according to them, I’m apparently a Azula apologist, extremist, irrational, toxic, coddles and woobifies Azula, justifies everything she does and invalidates abuse victims.

You can see the posts I’ve made to judge whether I actually am an irrational Azula apologist who blames everything on Zuko. One of the most recent posts I made about Azula’s character is this, and there’s still several more posts like that. Just search #meta or #analysis in my blog search and all of them will just pop up. I can assure you, I have never acted as if Azula has done nothing wrong or did everything right or whatever lies these people are spewing.

If anyone has proof that I’ve talked shit about people in the fandom to other people before, please, present your evidence. I highly think this is impossible because I actually don’t have many friends on Tumblr, nor do I usually initiate conversation because I’m awkward af.

I’ve also tried approaching those I recognized in bsg to find out more about the situation (and at least give my side of the story). Most of them have chosen not to speak to me LMAO but one of them who’s chosen to remain anonymous for their privacy, admitted that dykesia (hexful) forced them to block a blog before (after realizing they were interacting with said blog) and if not, they would be blocked themselves. I can’t post the conversation publicly because they’re afraid their speech mannerism will give away their identity. @space-sword has also shared his experience with avatar-chang on his blog and was pressured to cut off ties with ppb21 just to join the oh so magnificent Ba Sing Gay.

There’s absolutely no reason to judge someone based on their sexual orientation, race, color or age either. They rant about being discriminated against or being generalized or stereotypes but they’re the ones hypocritically committing these actions, and then justify their actions by saying ‘we’re oppressed, they’re not, so it’s not racism or discrimination’. And yet people still wonder why discrimination is still rampant LMAO

I can’t speak for the blogs they victimized in bsg, but I personally don’t agree with talking shit about them on a public server and then criminalizing them as if they’re actually predators. I also don’t agree with involving the blogs’ friends simply because of their association. I also don’t agree with demanding people to block blogs they don’t like because that’s just pure manipulation. That’s wrong and marginalizing people. Unless someone has actually been harassing or literally preying on people, then there’s no reason to actually go around warning blogs about them unless they’re asked about it.

If they feel uncomfortable about something? Then avoid that blog, filter their tags or even block that blog if they’re that uncomfortable—BUT they shouldn’t demand others to do the same just for their own benefit. It’s not up to them to decide what a person can or cannot see or who they can or cannot interact with. They’re not their parents, and they obviously have no right to pressure people into doing things they don’t want to. If they think it tactless that I shared the conversations? Oh honestly, a line was crossed when they spread shit about me so idc. If they actually feel terrible for being called out? GOOD. That’s what they should feel, because in no way was any of what they were doing right or justified. If they’re going to shit on me then expect to be burned because I’m not someone who’ll just shrivel in fear because they have a bigger following.

[ahmedmootaz]

For the writing, How about some fluff between Donald and the kids? :)))

Dear Anonymous,

Hello! I did it! Hah! Take that, laziness, I wrote the thing someone requested!...Yeah, sorry about that. The whole delay. Both to you and to everyone who kindly sent me requests. As said before, short things aren’t my style, so I hope you enjoy this!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26468854

Do share your thoughts with me, if you would so kindly do that. I like receiving feedback.

Oh and for those of you that don’t want to go to Archive Of Our Own, here’s the magical Read More button:

Ah, McDuck Manor. It was a wonderful place, really. Its rooms were almost endless, the hallways spanned on for miles, and the collection of mostly lethal items and antiques that got expanded every other day certainly made it unique in a sense. It was where Donald Duck had spent most of his childhood, and it was often a pretty, if empty place.

Perhaps this was how monarchs envisioned their castles. Spotless, massive, elegant. Or perhaps this was...this was...oh, forget it! He wasn't good at descriptions anyway. What mattered was that this manor was large, expansive, eye-pleasing, and basically was everything Donald never had for the last twelve or so years. Though it was rather lonely at times.

Not the current times, however, as now it was privy to the footsteps of little paddles running around in it all the time, and Donald couldn't be happier about it. After all, who wouldn't be happy seeing his favourite little nephews running around happily in their new home? He still used his house-boat, admittedly for no real reason other than how hard he worked to get it, but the children were more than happy to stay in their new home, a castle in comparison to where they lived before.

Of course, Donald didn't get to see the kids much these days, what with their mother returning and all. He still couldn't believe it. Twelve years. Twelve years stuck on the moon because of a giant termite just had to rattle a dust storm. He honestly had to admire his sister's ability to not murder the thing and whatever hellspawn it had the moment she could. He would've. Maybe. Probably. He was still prone to fits of rage, but he felt the rage would've been justified at that moment.

Disregarding that, it was truly miraculous how the triplets loved Della so much. Duh, she was their mother, but they never saw her for twelve years. Not one single time. To them, she was the ghost they never asked questions about or he'd just remain silent and give whoever asked a glare. He truly feared that they may never get used to her as family. Luckily, however, a few near-death experiences and some adventures later, they learned to love her as what she truly was: Their mother.

At first, it alleviated some stress off of him, but then he realized he still needed to remain as mentor, not to the children, but to Della. She was doing a fine job, learning when to discipline and when to let things pass, but he still had to intervene to stop her from convincing Huey that crossing a piranha-infested river wasn't all that dangerous.

Still, whatever critiques he gave Della, his beloved sister had grabbed the boys' attention for the time being. He couldn't blame them; both as someone new and the person they longed for their entire lives, she was certain to outshine Donald as the parental-figure for the moment, something that he absolutely had no issues with. No issues at all. Nuh-uh. What, was he fifteen? He could handle being outside the lime light for a few weeks. Months. Whatever it took.

-"Yep...no issues whatsoever...", he mumbled to himself, listening to his distorted voice as it plopped unceremoniously with no echo. He was sitting in his house-boat's living room, situated in Scrooge's pool. He had to swallow quite a bit of ego to bring the boat this far, not because it necessitated Scrooge's help, oh no, that was the easy bit. The difficult bit was seeing the fact that his uncle's swimming pool was bigger than the boat he struggled to purchase.

Well, whatever. He could handle that. He handled many other situations that jabbed at his ego and you didn't see him crying. Not on the outside, anyway. He tapped rhythmlessly on the couch he sat on, sighing as he did so. Today was a slow day. A very slow day. No adventures, nothing that needed fixing, and Della seemed like she wasn't intent on putting herself in a life or death scenario, oddly enough. He was supposed to be happy about that, but honestly, it just bored him to death.

It wasn't as if the kids somehow left him and only sent him greeting cards, either. They, alongside Webby, saw him everyday, talked with him, but somehow...he felt like a third wheel. He didn't want to force himself in, but even if he wanted to, what would he do? He never had to go to the kids, they always went to him. He was watching something on his T.V. and trying to focus on it. It wasn't Ottoman Empire, surprisingly enough, it was something about...Uh...The African Penguin's migration to the island of Mayotte to save the world from the evil Lepoard Seals...? He rechecked the program. Ah. It was a movie. And here he was thinking it was a documentary.

Donald was a fan of movies. He really was. But today, he wanted to move and do something. Anything He thought about that last sentence for a split-second before deciding he'd do anything that isn't life threatening. Last thing needed was for Scroo- sorry, Unca' Scrooge to somehow read his mind and send him down the Mariana Trench to search for some old treasure. He still needed to remember that he was living with his uncle again, and as such, politeness was due. Even in thought, because you never know when you'll think out-loud.

 Knock Knock KNOCK!

He suddenly jumped. Well, not quite, he still ended up on the couch again, but he turned off the television, wondering if Mrs.Beakly was going to tell him he accidentally put an omelette on the mansion's cooker and then headed for his house-boat. He really didn't need to spend the afternoon putting out a fire before it reaches some mysterious artefact that shouldn't be touched. Not again. But at least it'll be something to do. He took a few quick steps, turned his door knob and opened it as quick as he could.

-"What is it, Mrs.Beakl-", he started, having thoroughly convinced himself that this was the situation before noticing nobody was in front of him.

-"Down here, Unca' Donald!", huh. How odd. She lost height and lost her deeper tone. He moved his head down, suddenly realizing the past conclusion was probably made by some part of his brain that decided intelligence is for losers. The red hues immediately told him all he needed to know. It was Huey, accompanied by Webby, an overexcited smile on her face and her eyes practically glowing. She was cute, but also...unnerving?

-"Oh, Huey.", he brought a hand to his forehead, suddenly feeling very relieved he was not going to spend an afternoon putting out a fire. "What brings you here? Do you need more information on the Marines? The Navy?", he asked, bringing a smile to his beak.

Admittedly, his time in the Navy was cut short because his sister suddenly disappeared into space, swallowed by the unknown dark abyss, and so he never really got to experience most of the...fun action the Navy got itself into these days. Still, he had enough knowledge to satiate Huey's thirst for information, and Webby's too, if the way her pupils dilated was any proof. He felt smug; he still had it in him.

-"Well, not really, I needed some help inside the mansion. I need someone to hold me some test subjects so that I can confirm whether or not the temporal anomalies the building sustained throughout the time changed the surrounding gravity or not. It would certainly explain why I've been having difficulties with liquids far more often now.", the younger Duck started, losing himself in an explanation that Donald tried to simplify into simpler terms. Huey's intelligence was most certainly gained from his mother's side. It wasn't that Donald was dumb, per say, it's that Huey was smart. Too smart for any duck his age.

-"Okay then.", the older Duck replied, happy to be of help. He took a few steps forward, closing the door behind him. Expecting a nod of acknowledgement from Huey, it was Webby instead who started speaking.

-"Hello Mr.Duck Unca' Donald sir!", she jumped in front of him, somehow managing to stick the landing and continue on walking backwards. Donald loved Webby. He truly did, as any responsible adult would love a girl her age with such a bubbly personality, but he couldn't ever shake off the feeling that there was something a little...off in her. He always shrugged it off as her superior training, and so he did at this instant. He wasn't one to make the poor girl feel alien, she already had difficulty with everyone else. "While we're on our way to test the stability of the mansion, do you mind telling me what the world's greatest adventurer did in the Navy? How many bad guys did you beat up? Did you have to stop Glomgold or Magica in the Navy? Did you fire guns? Are dreadnoughts still in action?", she shot question after question at the overwhelmed sailor as they entered the massive house.

-"Well...uh...I mean, they still have battleships. We don't have dreadnoughts.", he began, following Huey to the triplets' room. "As for my work...I had training. Aim-improvement firing sessions. I think I had an encounter or two with those chumps in The Navy, but it didn't really change anything; they still lost, after all.", he boasted, taking in Webby's amazed glare as he entered Huey's room, having gone up the stairs that lead to it.

-"Alright Unca' Donald, hold this tube for me, alright? Tell me if anything happens to the water inside it.", the cap-wearing duckling handed the former-sailor a tube of water. He was expecting it to be a bit more...interesting, but as he stared at it, he found nothing. Just a tube of water. "Now this could take anywhere from an hour to two, so if you think you can't do it-"

-"What? Pffft, of course I can do it! I can do anything!"

-"That's mom's catchphrase.", a lazy voice announced from his bed. It would've made Donald jump had he not been used to it. It did, however, ruin his dramatic affirmation.

-"Well, yes, but since I'm her twin, I have the right to use half of the things she says, Louie.", his uncle answered, not without some dignity. The hoodie-wearing duckling slowly rose from his bed, laying his laptop beside him as he stared at the sight unfolding in front of him.

-"Do you have legal documents for that? Because I believe you may have just broken a copy-right agreement, which could allow one to sue for monetary compensation...", of course, con-man that he is and trying to be sharper than the sharpies ever since Unca' Scrooge told him he can be, would find a method to make money out of this. Well, he was certainly impressive, Donald gave him that. In fact, every one of his nephews was impressive in his own way. But Donald also had methods to impress people.

-"Your mother still doesn't know why the gas pipes exploded two weeks ago.", he bluntly stated, and yet his nephew kept a wide, if forced smile.

-"Yep, that'll be all the documents I need. By the way, do you really want to teach your cute little nephews how to blackmail?!", he obliged, feigning shock at the end of his sentence.

-"Louie, I have literally learnt how to blackmail from you. Also, isn't it blackmail if you threaten me with a lawsuit for a catchphrase? I don't really think that has much legal basis.", came the reply, shutting down the last argument the cunning duck could hold onto.

-"Yeah, okay, fair point.", and that was that. For the moment, anyways, Louie would always fund something to argue with, and Donald would just have to find a counter-argument. Somehow. It has gotten a bit difficult these days, but Donald loved a good challenge. Well, actually, he didn't, but he dealt with them all the same.

-"Any new results, Huey?", the perky, energetic voice of Webby asked as she ran around, fixing some tubes and...balls attached to ropes? It was only now that he realized how unconventional the contraptions Huey set up looked. It was basically gears, nails, and various building materials cobbled up together to make a sort of...measuring device? And that was the least worrying one; the entire room was filled with makeshift machines of all shapes and sizes.

-"Nothing yet...If you could steady your hands Unca' Donald, that'd be great.", he said absently, prompting Donald to turn the tube in his hand a few centimeters. Well, he went from doing nothing and watching T.V. to doing nothing while watching his nephews. That had to amount to something.

-"Wow, you're really just going to stand there for Huey so he can prove that it wasn't his super shaky hands that made him spill the milk this morning, aren't you?", the smugly lazy voice of Louie called out, now under Donald. He'd heard him going down from his bed.

-"My hands are *NOT* shaky, Louie!", the older triplet yelled, outraged by such preposterous claims.

-"Okay, Doctor Butterfingers.", his sibling teased, keeping a neutral face. Donald knew that was what got to Huey; the teasing, he could somewhat handle, but Louie's lack of expressions simply made his mockery get to Huey more easily. Luckily for the inhabitants of Duckburg, Duck War One-Thousand and Whatever could wait, as Donald was there to interfere. For now.

-"Actually, I will. It's a bit unwieldy, but I'll do it for the greater good!", there. A nice, dramatic statement, that should prevent the 'Do you really want to say that' ultimatum. Man, he really had to be a diplomat someday.

-"I don't think you'll call it the greater good when Huey realizes he just has butterfingers.", the little schemer whispered to his uncle, and suddenly, a very dark future flashed in front of his eyes. Well...all in time, he supposed. "Still, I guess you must really have one heckuva patience to just keep holding this tube.", he continued, this time a bit louder before adding under his breath 'uselessly'.

-"Well, yes, I am the most patient person in the world, no? I couldn't dream of starting fights with even the most annoying of people.", the older duck proudly claimed before making an expression that clearly told Louie to shut up about the four-digit number of times he lost his temper. It was better than being five-digits, at least.

-"Yeah, yeah, whatever.", the green-wearing duckling dismissed without second thought before picking up his sentence. "Still, I guess the mad scientist over there has reason to trust you; you are pretty reliable."

-"Aw, Louie-"

-"Extremely reliable in fact!", Huey intruded on their chat, lifting his head from the calculations he was calculating. "I mean, really. Unca' Donald was there for us the entire time; remember that one time in the house-boat when the plumbing stopped working all of sudden and you tried going to the-"

-"Please, for the love of all that is Holy, remember any other time I was useful. Just not....that!", the once-calm sailor begged, his voice filled with dread and his eyes going blank. Well, that's untrue; he still had pupils, but he just wasn't...there. Lost in his flashbacks. The Great Toiletening. The horror.

-"Oh, right...forgot that we don't talk about it...well, either way, all I'm saying is that we really do appreciate what you do! Even if we never really talk about it. Or thank you.", the smarter duckling reflected, bringing a hand to his beak.

-"Well, it's the thought that counts!", Webby chimed in, positive as always. She was right. To an extent. A lot. Okay, maybe she was right, but Donald didn't have to let her know. He wasn't a mind reader, and so he appreciated whenever people spoke their mind to him.

-"I mean, yeah, she's got a point, doesn't she, Unca' Donald?", ah, Louie. Every time Donald thinks he cannot get any more smug, he goes and proves him wrong. "But I guess I should say thanks for everything. Even though you didn't buy me that self-refiling can of Pep Gyro offered...Hey!", he objected as his uncle ruffled his head-feathers with his free hand, a smile on his beak.

-"It was going to go evil and try to strangle us in our sleep and you know that.", he bluntly stated, keeping his smile.

-"I still think it was worth a shot.", the con-man replied, moving towards the room's door. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a new method of getting richer than Uncle Scrooge, and I'll be accomplishing it by six in the evening.", he declared, opening the door to a beaten Dewey. "Dewey.", he nodded, passing by him.

-"Louie.", his brother nodded in return, waiting for him to close the door behind him. He looked horrible; a few scratches scattered on his face, his feathers were pointing in all directions, and his left eye felt less...firm than the other. "How much to you guys want to bet we'll have to save Louie from a demon or something by six?", he asked, pointing with a thumb to the door behind him.

-"What on earth happened to you, Dewey?! It's not even three in the afternoon and you look like you crawled out of the grave!", Donald yelled, heading over to the energetic duckling, almost spilling the water in the tube. "Are you okay? Can you see with your left eye? Did you disinfect the wounds?", he shot question after another, trying to judge the severity of the injuries with his free hand.

-"Yeah! What happened to you, Dewey?! Don't you know that the demon-scheme was last week? This week it's the 'Try-to-trick-a-rich-man-scheme'! We'll probably have to discuss some silly law-whatchamacallit with a bunch of angry lawyers by five at most!", Webby happily corrected him, looking just a teeny bit oblivious to Donald's source of worry here.

-"I'm fine, Unca' Donald. It's nothing big, mom was just...y'know. Doing mom stuff. Teaching me how to fight with the wilderness of the forest. It's no biggie.", the daring duck tried to deflate his uncle's worries, waving his hand nonchalantly, as if this was some regular occurrence he had to deal with. He failed.

-"Your mother took you to fight the wilderness?!", he repeated, grabbing his nephew's shoulder with his spare hand and trying to keep the other tube balanced.

-"Oh, come on, Unca' Donald, it's just basic stuff to learn!", he argued back, trying to shrug his shoulder before he winced from the act with an 'Ow!'.

-"Wha- Is your shoulder hurt? Did you encounter bears? How did you fight them?", he kept asking, barely giving the self-proclaimed adventurer any time to breathe.

-"I-It's nothing, just a bad landing, that's all. I mean, we were fighting bears, wolves, and flying beavers with nothing but our wits and bravery, the Heros of the For-Hey!", he tried to finish his sentence, only to be dragged by the sailor to his bed and forced to sit on it.

-"Oh, what am I ever going to do with your mother!", he grumbled, taking the first-aid kit they kept under the bed for emergency situations and trying to manipulate it with his one hand. "She just...she just thinks it's some jolly old fun to bring you over like it's nothing! Like you'll just bounce back from a fifty-meter jump and be okay!", he kept ranting himself as he took out some bandages and started unpacking them before heading to Dewey and starting to cover his wounds.

-"Heeeey! I told you I was fine, Unca' Donald.", the duckling huffed, unable to resist his uncle's medical aid as he kept putting bandages wherever he could reach. "And...Mom's trying her best, you know. No reason to get all mad, y'know...", he added, looking both offended and embarrassed.

-"I know she is.", Donald softly mumbled, putting the last of the bandages. Dewey's face wasn't too far from a mummy at this point. "It's just...sometimes her best isn't the best for everyone, and it's not her fault but...I'd rather you don't get mauled by a bear, Dewey.", he explained, taking a step back and paying attention not to let the tube in his hand tilt. Last thing he needed was to stand there again holding a tube full of water because the first one got spilled.

-"Yeah...me too, I guess.", he conceded, rubbing his arm and trying to chuckle. Donald responded in kind, trying to make his nephew be more at ease. "But she's so cool whenever she does it. How she kicked that bear and then it just turned over and winced in pain.", he dreamily recounted, looking to the ceiling before coming back to reality.

-"She kicked a bear and it just turned over?", Donald repeated, baffled; he knew his sister was strong, but weren't bears made for fighting harsh fights? Layers of fat and all that?

-"Well, I didn't get to see the fight in all its glory, but all I saw was that she flipped over the bear, managed to go behind him, and then she...kicked...", the young adventurer clenched his fists, enthusiastically recalling what his mother did until the realization dawned on all of them. 'Oooooh', was all he and Donald could say for a minute.

-"I don't understand. What did she do?", Webby asked, tilting her head as she carried some machines around the room.

-"O-Oh, it's nothing, Webby. Nothing at all.", he was lying through his teeth. Donald knew she knew. But as long as he wasn't the one who needed to tell her, all was going to be fine. "Ahem...Regardless of her strategies, you're not going to be your mother in one day, Dewey. De-, uh, sorry, your mom is an extremely talented person, but she also...slips. She needed years of broken bones, internal injuries and other injuries to reach where she is now. All I'm saying is that you can learn it all from her the easy way without breaking your neck. I know, not very fun to you,", he paused to add under his breath 'somehow', getting a glare from Dewey, "But it's what I think is better. You don't have to prove anything to us, you know.", he finished both talking and applying some extra bandages, looking at his nephew.

-"I can't promise anything; I can and probably will dew anything.", the blue-shirted duck began, receiving a sigh, "But it makes enough sense. I guess I don't have to be the star of every adventure, but...eh. Maybe I can sit back sometimes. The world needs a break from my awesomeness from time to time.", he finished, flashing his titular proud smile and forcing Donald to hold a smile, making the former's smile drop a bit. Oh, the world needed a break from Dewey alright. Just not for those reasons.

-"Yeah, Unca' Donald has a point, mom means well, but a bear's teeth are stronger than good will.", Huey added, though almost absently as he kept tinkering with the various machines throughout the room and re-reading his notes, as proven by his late response. "This just...this just...It doesn't add up! NONE of these numbers add up! The conclusion...it's wrong! Incorrect! It...It...", he yelled, almost unable to form a coherent sentence at the end. Oh, no. He was going into another rush of his. "Show me the tube, Unca' Donald!", he ordered as he made his way over to his older relative, who tried to remain calm. He did not succeed too well.

-"Uh, Webby? Did...did Huey take some sugar? What's going on in here?", Dewey asked the enthusiastic young duckling, who followed Huey to the triplets' bed.

-"Oh, it's nothing. Huey's been researching the surrounding gravity of the mansion to make sure it didn't change gravity or anything after it nearly got destroyed a couple dozen of times with us inside it!", clenching her fists and raising them to the air, her enthusiasm would've been infectious if Huey didn't look on the brink of a meltdown.

-"Riiiiight...", the blue-shirted triplet processed as his brother practically ripped the tube from his uncle's hand. "And he's doing this becauuuuse...?"

-"Oh, well, he spilled his milk this morning.", she immediately answered, reflecting on her words. "Yeah, not the best incentive, but it's for the greater good!", she confidently boasted, turning to her research-partner. "Right, Huey?"

-"The...The water's okay? How is it okay?! WHY IS IT OKAY?! I NEED TO KNOW!", said research partner was currently yelling at a tube of perfectly okay water, as any great man in history did. His eyes bulged and he ground his beak, looking ever so close to that breaking point.

-"Uh...Listen, Huey, I wasn't there this morning...but is a spilled milk cup really worth all of...this? Your hand probably just slipped. I spilled my milk last week, too.", well, that wasn't exactly true, but Donald didn't have to let them know that he mixed up which hand was holding the cup and which one was holding the brush. In his defence, he'd just woken up and...yeah, that was the only thing he could say for himself.

-"No, you don't understand! I've been pouring myself a glass of milk every morning for three years! I mastered a technique of holding the bottle and the cup for three years! What if I needed this technique for a dangerous artefact...or...or...Or maybe so Scrooge's keys don't fall down a drain! What if I needed to fly a plane with this knowledge and it fails me like it did now?!", ah, how Donald loved Huey's rants. He was just so passionate about the things he did. If there wasn't a chance of him picking up a knife or some other dangerous object and going around on rampage with it, he'd have encouraged him to do it more. No pent up feelings and all that jazz. It was also threatening that his left hand had a screwdriver that looked just a bit too sharp to be waved around.

-"Well...when the time comes to that, you'll come up with a solution. I know you will.", he smiled encouragingly, making his ranting nephew look at him and eyeing the screwdriver in his hand. "But sometimes, a glass of milk is just that. A glass of milk. There's no bigger meaning behind it most of the time and you don't need to beat yourself over it.", he argued, slightly snapping Huey out of his momentary madness. "And that's uncle Scrooge to you, Huey."

Well, yes, there were times when knowing how to play the guitar saved him and his family, and screwing that up would've killed them all, but in the end, you need to prepare yourself mentally for when the time comes, and not by beating yourself for every small or big mistake. There are times for that, but this was certainly not one of them. Donald would know. He did it as an emo teenager. Man, he missed those days. Why did going emo fall out of fashion?! It's all about gothic movements these days, and he wasn't about those clothes.

-"I...Yeah, you're right.", the mad-scientist in Huey gave the wheel back to his rational self. Thank goodness. No new paint-coats for this screwdriver. "Sometimes a glass of milk is just that. Milk.", he repeated, taking the tube out of his uncle's hand and letting the water fall. "Thanks, unca' Donald. I needed that. Don't know what came over me there for a moment.", he too smiled, allowing the houseboat sailor to pat his shoulder.

-"Bah, don't sweat it, Huey! We all had this moment when we went on an insane scientific adventure to prove something that's probably unreal because we...uh...Yeah, I can't dig myself out of that one.", Webby admitted, slumping near the end of her sentence as she suddenly looked a bit tired. Helping Huey all day on his quest probably wasn't the easiest thing to do today. The quadro of ducks shared a laugh.

-"C'mere, Huey.", the older duck held his arms out, allowing his nephew to nestle in for a hug. He gestured to the two other ducklings.

-"GROUP-HUG!", taking advantage of the situation, Webby grabbed Dewey's arm and threw the both of them onto the sailor, who felt the air get knocked out of him for a moment as the two ducklings slammed into his stomach. Regaining his breath, he wrapped his hands around the three duckling around him.

-"Okay that's enough.", Dewey was the first to pull out, never one for too much emotional content when he didn't need it. The other two slowly pulled out, looking satisfied.

-"Welp. I guess it's time to clean this mess up.", the former mad-scientist in Huey was now firmly dead, it seemed. He let out a sigh, looking at the various contraptions he had set up in the room.

-"Don't worry about it, Huey, we can help you out. Not like I'll be doing much like this, anyways...",  his brother gave him a pat on his back, pointing with his other hand to the various bandages that covered his face.

-"And I can help you, too! I want to get back granny's knives and laser guns, you know.", the young Vanderquack chimed in, looking cheerful as always, but a bit more down-to-earth now that the experiment she was assisting in turned out to be a bust. She pointed at a strange device that was, surprise surprise, made with various knives and what looked to be laser guns tapped together. What was even the point of that thing? To look science-y?

-"Ah, goodie, I think I'll help, too.", Donald added, trying to encourage this little aide-circle. He didn't really want his nephews to live in what looked like a madman's dump, which...for a few hours, it was.

-"Actually...I think you'd better prepare to try and bail Louie out of a lawsuit.", Huey suggested, starting to pick up the papers and small machines that covered the floor.

-"Oh, come on, Huey, I'm certain Louie is smart enough to not get himself into much trouble!", even before the older Duck finished his answer, the room's occupants began laughing. Oh, what a scenario that would be. Louie, not getting himself into trouble while searching for fortune. What a joke. "Yeah, okay, you're probably right.", he finally concluded, heading to the room's door and opening it before turning his head back, "Now, if you kids need anything, you can tell me, alright?"

-"Yes, Unca' Donald.", the three ducklings replied in unison with their usual boredom to his patronising acts. Ah, how he loved that tone of theirs.

Closing the door behind him, Donald started going down the stairs, taking in a deep breath. Well. This wasn't really the way he thought he'd be spending his afternoon, but you know what? It wasn't like he was complaining. A small bonding session with the boys was as good as any, after all, and the little motivational speech at the end? Mhmmmm, peak uncle performance right there.

Good job, humble Donald, you did well. What, he was allowed some sort of internal pride, wasn't he? If Gladstone could do it externally because he's lucky, then he could feel some pride for being a good uncle. He hoped. Well, thinking about it now...a good uncle wouldn't have let Louie go get himself into trouble...Hmm...

Well, maybe he wasn't a perfect uncle, but with his uncle and sister promoting this adventurous life-style, there was only so much he could do. Besides, people learn when bad things happen to them. He just had to hope nothing too bad happens, which, luckily, it doesn't. Most times.

He shielded his eyes as he got out of the building and had his eyes blinded by the sun and thought back to the smiles Dewey, Huey, Louie and Webby gave him. What he would do to have them smile like this all the time. Take that, Della, today, Donald had won the...uh...race? The contest of who's a better parent-figure? Well...all of them were good parent-figures but...Oh, forget it! What mattered was that he felt he did something good today and that was it.

He basked in that feeling of pride for a moment, opening his houseboat's main door before noticing a small green figure running towards the mansion from an enraged older man. What worried Donald wasn't the situation; it was that whatever Louie did, it made this man, who couldn't have been any younger than eighty, manage to wake his dormant muscles.

Well, he thought, guess it's time for more uncle-business. Ooooh, that was good. Maybe he could make it a catchphrase and actually copy-right it.

Whenever he calmed this older gentleman, of course. He took a step forward, readied his mind, and mentally prepared to save Louie from a butt-kicking. Yep. Typical Tuesday, alright, and he couldn't be a happier uncle about it.

[amnachil]

The College Society Chapter 4 Part 7

Next part is up! Meet some new people. Also, Liam gets stuffed because he deserves it ;)

Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey Tuesday April 9

"If you don't feel it, we can postpone this shitty meeting."

Liam smiled cheerfully, but it was only to hide his obvious stress.

"I'm fine." he said nonetheless.

They were at his place, getting ready for the fateful diner with Robert Smith. I tried my best to cancel it but here we are. Fuckin' old fart. The baboon looked... afraid. He was still shirtless and munching on the cookies to apease his nerves. It was pretty clear he wasn't fine. Nate, who was reading a manga on the bed casted a glance at them.

"Are you scared it'll be like with Kilian's father ?" he asked.

Liam tensed. Of course that's it. I'm stupid. He must be afraid it'll be the same thing than before. After all, Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey's boyfriend had revealed his idiotic ex's parents were strongly homophobic. And it led to several traumatic events in his life. Besides, his own father was an ass. So no wonder why he feared a meeting with another old geezer.

"My stupid father is supporting the gay cause baboon." he stated. "Sure, he's a bit vulgar and all but once he'll see you like I..."

The blonde stopped mid-sentence. The other two were staring at him expectantly. They were all ears. Damn, I hate this lovey-dovey thing. No way I'm getting sappy. Liam opened his arm and smiled.

"A hug for comfort ?" he suggested.

At first, Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey looked at him like if he had grown a second head. A hug, seriously ?! Is he stupid ? Yeah, Liam was stupid. Stupidly cute and attractive. The blonde lad went for his hug. Not because he was craving for his boyfriend's touch or anything at all : it was just to make the baboon happy. (Just believe it please).

"Well Nate is right." confessed the chestnut boy. "I don't have any fond memories of fathers... Mine is actually ripping my family apart, and Kilian's one was a butcher who used to hate me. So yeah, I guess I'm not completely fine."

A blind idioit could see that. Even your hug is lame dummy. Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey only sighed.

"I understand but I assure you, nothing bad will happen." he claimed. "Because I'll be with you all the time and I won't let the old fart do anything to you, okay ?"

"But what if I snap ? My shrink Ms Hang said I'm not very good at controlling my emotions. I don't want to hurt anyone..."

The blonde lad pinched Liam's soft side. Well, he's gotten pudgier. I like it.

"You won't." he assured. "I trust you on this. But as I told you before, if you feel unready to do this we can delay."

Liam took a deep breath.

"I think I'm fine thanks to you and Nate. Let's go."

The diner didn't go as planned. Not at all. When they arrived at Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey's place, the old coot he called a father stared at Liam like if he had the plague. Geez what a nice start.

"Wait, you're the Strucker's offspring ?" he asked threateningly.

The blond lad was prepared to go all out to defend his boyfriend. Strangely, it was important for him that baboon felt at ease with his damn family.

"For fucksake you're hella gorgeous !" Robert Smith continued. "My rowdy yet lovely wife wasn't wrong ! If I were younger I would bang you myself !"

The blond junior let an intimidating grunt slip. The baboon is mine moronic father. Thankfully, Liam was half-listening, and he only smiled timidely.

"Nice to meet you Mr. Dami's dad." he whispered.

"I see you got a fucking sense of bloody humor." laughed the old fart.

The whole situation was awkward AND embarrassing for Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey. His father was so vulgar and disrepectful ! And this dummy boyfriend who called him Dami's dad !

"And you have a decent size to be fair." continued Robert Smith. "Well you could be a bit bigger but that will do it."

Now they were talking about size ?! What the hell ?! And I wonder which size my idiotic genitor is talking about...

"I assure you Dami is keeping me well-fed." replied Liam.

After that, it became even crazier. They had diner in a relaxed but awkward atmosphere. And Robert gossiped a lot about Isaac Strucker. Like how he was an asshole who betrayed his damn trust. And how he pocketed money from their company like a fucking thief. Liam agreed to everything. He said he had been sure his faher's wealth was dirty money. So they both found they had something in common : they resented Isaac Strucker. I guess it's good. Not that I care. Honestly, Damian Nicholas Smith was ashamed of his old coot's rudeness. Tch, he's so vulgar. I should teach him how to talk to handsome boys. This boring and annoying meeting finally came to an end.

"It was nice meeting you Liam." stated the old codger. "My wife told me you took my gummy bunny's virginity and I'm okay with that. Bet you're a good top."

Okay. Let's stop this fuckin' ridiculous conversation. That's too much embarrassement to handle. The junior almost pushed his boyfriend towards the door. This one was too stupid and nice to take offense anyway.

"Okay you two are now bestfriend and all it's super nice." he mumbled. "Maybe you can found an anti-Isaac club someday. But it's getting late and Liam can't wait to go to bed. Right ?"

Damian Nicholas Smith Carrey glanced at his boyfriend and winked. I hope he gets the signal.

"Oh yeah I'm completly worn out." he said sheepishly.

Of course the baboon wasn't faking it. He had been so stressed, he truly needed to rest now. And it was past his usual bedtime anyway. He kissed the junior, said goodbye to his father and wished both a beautiful night (his words).

Liam Thursday April 11

He should have know it. It was kind of predictable with his actual way of life. But Liam wasn't a person who anticipate. So here he was, stuck in his bathroom, facing wardobe malfunction. His shirt wasn't the main issue. It was snug, especially around his belly, but he estimed it okay. The jeans. The jeans are the problem : they ain't cooperative at all. It was impossible to close the zipper. His added flesh wouldn't let him do that. But Liam didn't want new jeans. He liked these one. (Yes he was sometimes stubborn like that.) He tried again, obviously without anymore success. Can the unicorns make them fit ? He was positive they had the power to do so. (But they probably won't, since it's a silly and mortal problem which didn't affect them.)

"I know you like to take your sweet time baboon but we'll be late for the movie." grumbled his boyfriend as he entered in the room.

Dami stopped when he understood the situation. He twitched and his brows furrowed. Liam pouted.

"My jeans are playin' cheeky." he explained.

"Maybe... You should just go for the next size ?" replied the junior.

"But I want these jeans !" whined the chestnut lad.

His boyfriend came closer and put an hand on his bulging stomach.

"I'll help you." he growled. "But look at you all beefy and bulky... How much do you weight now ?"

"91 kg (200 lbs)."

Looking at his reflexion, Liam had to admit, he was kind of big. He had broke the 200 only recently however. Althought he looked very muscular, he was also soft and well-padded. He had nicely chubbed up, particulary his tummy. Back in highschool, he had been chubby but it had felt like if he was losing strengh in the process. But right now, I feel stronger and more confident. He got side-tricked for a moment, thinking about his mission for the unicorn now that he was athletic and well-fed when something made him realise he was not alone. Dami had moved around him, trying to close the jeans.  By some miracle, he had succeeded and even if the freshman felt a bit constricted, it was okay. Anyway, what attracted Liam's attention was an hand. An hand which was squeezing his butt comfortably. When he looked at his boyfriend, this latter blushed and ended the contact.

"So- sorry." he stammered. "You were out of it and it was right there... I just... Damnit can we forget it happened ?"

"Why ? You can appreciate my tushie all you want." teased Liam.

"Don't make fun of me baboon. We have to go. And you know what ? I like these jeans too so keep 'em."

He was more than glad to obey.

Dami's mood changed when they entered in the theater, and it took Liam a moment to understand why. The vampire was two raws behind them, and she looked ready to suck their blood. (Usually, the dreamy lad didn't recognise most of the people he had met, but she was different : you don't encounter a vampire every other day !).

"Are you afraid she'll devour us ?" he whispered to his boyfriend.

This latter grumbled something and rolled his eyes.

"Just don't approach her." he replied. "She hasn't any good intentions. And you see the two bi... girls over here ? Same."

He was indicating the whitch and another student who looked familiar. They weren't exactly looking at them, but ogling from time to time. And suddenly, it struck Liam. How come he didn't realise that sooner ? They were Dami's lovers, of course they were ! That was why he boyfriend was acting more distant. The chestnut lad frowned. He wasn't prone to jealousy, especially when he was the one who let his boyfriend slept around. He perfectly knew a succubus needed sex and himself wasn't ready to provide that just yet. So no, he wasn't exactly jealous. He just wanted to remind them what was HIS. (Liam was a 8yo boy at heart so what he owned was his and only his for crying out loud !). He mentally cheered himself : he was about to fight a vampire and a witch to free his boyfriend from his inner desire. Thanks the unicorns he had brought a sword this morning.

"Baboon." Dami brought him back to reality. "Usually you're cute when you're day-dreaming, but right now you look kind of scary. Do you intend to murder someone ?"

"Only if it can't be avoided." Liam sheepishly confessed.

The blond junior almost choked on his drink.

"The hell ?! You never cease to amaze me... What are you thinking exactly ?"

"I just want your lovers to know that right now, you're with me and they can't have you. They can sleep with you later."

Dami's eyes widened while he listened. And then, he mumbled something Liam's didn't catch.

"These girls ain't my lovers baboon. They're here because... Nevermind just don't trust anything they say. And please, for the love of god, do not accept any gift from them. Not even food !"

"Who do you take me for ? I'm not easily bribed !"

"How many pancakes ?"

"Like a thousand !"

Nicolas Friday April 12 – Saturday April 13

"Hm... Are you sure this is necessary ?" asked Nate.

He wasn't the only one surprised. Colton seemed a bit unsure about this plan. But Nick knew it would work. Right in front of them was piled up all the junk food they had found in the apartment.

"I'm one hundred percent sure. In order to achieve my goal of losing around 22 kg (50 lbs), I need to get rid of this crap habit of mine to eat junk all the time. Which means we're getting rid of it now."

Nate shrugged. Since he wasn't eating much lately, this decision wouldn't affect him anyway. Colton smiled.

"If you really want to do it, I'm sure you'll manage." he assured. "Remind me, how much do you weight now ?"

"Like 97 kg (213 lb)." grumbled Nick.

Broke the 200 had been quite a shock. Rebecca's words were still burning in the back of his mind. And to make it worst, he had had the stupid idea to do a video call with his parents. They called me a irresponsible kid who doesn't know how to take care of himself. And mom said I was near obesity. Which might or might not be true. But he didn't need the label. Anyway so yes he was self-conscious.

"What are we gonna do about all this food ?" asked Nate. "We can't just throw it..."

"Don't worry." assured Nick. "If I'm right, our dear roommate will be more than glad to stuff himself with that."

"He doesn't like junk food that much tho ?" countered the short lad.

"Trust me I have an idea."

Said idea worked pretty well. First, Nick had explained to Liam that it was a mission from the God of Light. Only such a lie could manage to catch the delusional lad's attention. Then he told him that for every packet of junk he could finish, they would offer him pancakes. I'm glad to say I know this dude well by now. And pancake is the sacred word. And here they were : Liam was starting to get full while the others were enjoying the show. Nick was fascinated. In all honesty, his roommate was hot. When they first met, the geek had took an habit to covet him when he was half-sleeping half-naked in the apartment. Now Liam was significantly fatter and heftier but still hot. The chesnut boy smiled when his bestfriend brought him another plate of pancake. His stuffed belly wasn't near his maximum capacity yet. Something in Nick's stomach twisted. He felt both annoyed and sad at the same time. I don't like that. Time for some instropection. He discreetly grabbed his phone to contact his online friends. In this kind of situation, watching their discussion was funny. Like being at the zoo.

< TheSavior : Guys I'm angry, say something stupid. >

A belch escaped Liam's mouth and damn, that was both entertaining and kind of frustrating.

< Abeautifulwoman : I corrected the typo in my user name. Three years, and I mean THREE WHOLE YEARS and no one told me. That's low. >

"Can I have more ?" asked Liam.

In one hour or so, he had managed to polish three quarter of the junk food. And several plate of pancakes that Nate and Colton were cooking next to them. It was amazing, and Nick couldn't shake the weird annoyance he was feeling.

< Imagenius : Since you're not a real girl I thought it was only a proof of that... so fuck you. >

< Abeautifulwoman : boyo's mad cuz i won't help him with the treasure hunt >

Liam was busy with hamburgers. How the hell he managed to eat so many at once was beyond Nick's comprehension. And to think he's not stuffed yet.

< Imagenius : srlsy ? My friend doesn't want to say anything more and you neither ! What is it to you ? Is your boss friend part of it or what ?! >

< Abeautifulwoman : you're just jealous because i know things you don't >

Jealous. The word made sense. Liam was chubby and pigging out like if there was no tomorow. And what did he get ? A (weird) boyfriend and friends who admire that side of him. And all the women at the university plus most of the logical men were hitting on him. What about Nick ? Nick was fat and disgusting. Even obese. So yeah, he was jealous of his roommate.

< TheSavior : Ok enough. Got what I needed you're both stupid. Cya. >

< Imagenius : Mean ! Bye :3 >

< Abeautifulwoman :Ugh. See u >

True to his reputation, Liam finished everything. Which was honestly amazing. Stuffed like a turkey, he decided to doze off right away. Archibald came for his usual meeting with Nate, and they went in the bedroom to talk privately (Liam was sleeping and this man wouldn't wake up even for the apocalypse). Nick busied himself with tidying the room but he wasn't satisfied. His famous plan had left him pissed and self-conscious. And hungry. Very hungry.

"Here." smiled Colton. "This is the diet program you asked me."

The fatter of the two ogled the sheet of paper like if it was witchcraft. The word salad made him scowl.

"Are you sure this is what you want ?" asked his friend. "The goal of the regime must be to feel comfortable with yourself, not please the others..."

"Yeah, I know. It's ok thought, I will lost weight in no time, and everything will be fine."

At least Nick hoped it would.

To be continued

Dami’s father is... something :p  What I like with Liam is how he enjoys his body, and the belly. In that light, he’s the total opposite of Nick, who is doubting himself completely. Watch Nick’s online friends, they’ve an important part to play in the story ;p

[selfship-garden]

You and Dol for the ask thing? :3c

Who asks the other on dates:

Dol isn't real big on, like, going out and doing things, and I'm an introverted little bastard boy, so our dates tend to be more along the lines of just staying in and being cozy at home, so this one is a toss up lol but for special occasions Dol is the more likely one to suggest going out, and it's usually some place simple, nothing real extravagant because not really a showy kind of guy

Who is the bigger cuddler:

Me, more than likely. In private it's a little different because Dol cuddles in his sleep or when no one else can see more, because to him it's a really intimate bonding thing and it feels weird to have it on display, but if I initiate it in public that's fine, to an extent

Who initiates holding hands more often:

Holding hands is one of the few forms of affection that Dol isn't shy about, and he loves how tiny my hands are. They are, objectively, really small lol

Who remembers anniversaries:

Dol absolutely, he has that shit written down and committed to memory and they're the few times he actually goes all out to celebrate (usually enlisting Greed's help since he's not that great at coming up with surprises on his own)

Who is more possessive:

Dol, by a long shot. He isn't real obvious about it, because he worries it'll make him seem overbearing and doesn't want to make me uncomfortable, but he absolutely loves being able to call me his when an opportunity arises

Who gets more jealous:

Dol, but only at first, until he realizes that even if I did ever express interest in anyone else, I'd never pursue it without making sure he's okay with it first. Once he's accepted that he doesn't have a problem with other people showing interest in me unless it's like, a situation where I have made it obvious that I am NOT interested but the other person keeps trying to pressure me, and then he won't hesitate to intimidate them into leaving me alone.

Who is more protective:

Also Dol, mostly because I am hella accident prone with a non-existent pain tolerance and I am... Stupid shy. Also I have terrible anxiety/PTSD that can get set off by shit that sometimes doesn't make much sense to me and panic/anxiety attacks often make me physically sick, and Dol gets excessively worried whenever I have a really bad episode. So like, he likes to make sure he's always where he can see me in case I need help.

Who is more likely to cheat:

Neither, because let's face it, Dol is devoted as fuck and the thought simply would not ever cross his mind, and if my being poly ever came up, it would simply be a matter of making sure what he's ok with. There wouldn't ever be cause to even consider cheating

Who initiates sexy times the most:

This one is a toss up because, like, we're both pretty chill, and we tend to both get in the mood at the same time so it's not a matter of who's gonna initiate really. Except for, like, kissing, because that's enough sometimes to get him going and then he'll get all needy, esp if we're in public and not close to home and he gets to a point where he's just done with whatever social deal we're involved in and wants to leave so he can get me to our room lol

Who dislikes PDA the most:

This one isn't so much a matter of disliking PDA as it is both of us are really hecking shy, and Dol is a very private guy lmao so it's kind of even

Who kills the spider:

Neither, Dol prefers to catch the spider and let it go outside, and I won't touch them because it's one of my panic triggers

Who asks the the other to marry them:

Dol, surprisingly, because once he realizes he loves me he's literally that all or nothing in it for the long hall devoted as fuck kind of person and he needs me to know immediately that he'll be around for as long as I'll have him

Who buys the other flowers or gifts:

Dol, probably, but he doesn't do anything real big unless it's a special occasion

Who would bring up possibly having kids:

This one would actually be neither, because Dol is low key terrified of the idea of being a dad and he's got a lot of issues he needs to work on that he absolutely wouldn't want to have hanging over a child, but like, if it did ever come up that a kid is gonna happen, he'd be extra doting and attentive, probably even more protective than before too and would throw himself into trying to be the best dad he can be

Who is more nervous to meet the parents:

Dol doesn't know how his family has been since the war, and since everyone who knew him before thinks he's dead, because that's what was put in his records, he's never tried to seek them out to let them know he's actually alive and well, and I'm not speaking to mine either, so, neither

Who sleeps on the couch when the other is angry:

Both, honestly. I don't have much of a temper but some things do occasionally push my buttons too far, but Dol can have a short fuse sometimes and we both tend to give the other space when they're mad

Who tries to make up first after arguments:

Also both, but that's because after about a day Dol will feel bad about one of us being mad, and I am don't hold grudges except in extreme circumstances

Who tells the other they love them more often:

Dol, probably, but mostly because he honestly never thought he'd find someone who'd want him? Which is sad as fuck but true, so, once he has me it's like, he has to constantly verbalize it, to remind himself that I'm still here, that I'm not going anywhere, and he needs to know that I know how much he cares

[chut-je-dors]

5TL ask masterpost

Hi!!! Since there are SO many. SO SO many asks about 5TL in my inbox right now, I thought of (instead of working on a crucial uni deadline I have coming up) putting them all here and writing one long-arse post (so that people’s dashes won’t be..... overwhelmed with asks. Also less tagging). So here we go - Hopefully you get your answers here! Consider it as a fic........... it’s that long. Starting from the oldest!

Anonymous said: 5 thomas lane is definitely, without a doubt, my favourite ever fic. Its bloody brilliant!! I just wanted to ask, we know dave got people being rude about john and paul, and then the incident in the supermarket, but do vera and chuck ever get any shit at school about their dads? Or do other parents ever have a go at paul and john? Love the fic, honestly its my favourite thing. Its absolutely wonderful 💞💞💞

Thank you!! That is always such a lovely thing to hear! <3

Vera and Chuck have been thankfully mostly protected from any kind of homophobia. Chuck’s friends are too young to really care about it, they just go ‘ok’ when Chuck tells that he has two dads instead of one, and as for Vera only her close friends know. It’s not that she would’ve been treating it as a secret, but usually children at that age don’t really talk about their parents openly in class. At least I wouldn’t have been able to tell if some of my classmates had two mums, since you’d spend time in small groups instead of one bigger one, and then interact with the other people in the class only for school work. So since only her good friends know (and they don’t care) she hasn’t had to face any prejudice either.

As for Paul and John, at school events they receive a stink eye at most, since the other parents can’t possibly put up a scene in front of the kids and the teachers etc. Most of them don’t care, but there are always some who will kinda, steer their kid the other way. Paul and John fortunately are aces at dealing with the hurt feelings it causes, and Vera and Chuck are yet to notice that kind of behaviour. Dave is a little bit more perseptive, but then again he’s the oldest and unfortunately remembers some of the early encounters the family had when the world’s - and Liverpool’s - view on gay people wasn’t yet as open as it is now.

Anonymous said: 5tl question!! When j and p DO fight, who apologises first? Who sulks more? (Love this bloody fic)

Both are awful stubborn mules!! It’s terrible. But at the same time they go over the fight in their head and feel sorry about it, and then eventually one of them decides not to be an idiot anymore. But I feel that overall Paul would be less inclined to apologise first if he feels he’s right, and John will come trudging over ‘cos he can’t stand it when they fight for a long time. Then again, if John absolutely feels he’s correct, he’ll hold onto his opinion with tooth and nail, and Will Sulk. John in general sulks more I think, but half of it is tongue in cheek, since they so rarely have actual fights (more like, small-ish disputes)

Anonymous said: Okay I have a 5tl question: when it comes to the kids, which parent is each the most similar to personality-wise? Like for me, I’ve always thought Dave is like a mini Paul whereas Vera just SCREAMS John to me, what’s your opinion on this? Is this something you considered when writing the kids? <333

Oh god this is such a difficult question,, after a 20-minute discussion with @thefrogchorus​, (since this was such a difficult question and I needed her blessed input to sort out my thoughts) we came to the conclusion that they’re kind of a mix of both John and Paul without any definitive traits coming from their parents (Chuck is a mini-John, but that’s also because of y’kno, being his actual biological son). They’re very much their own people in my head, but especially their manners come from John and Paul, whether it be how to win an argument, or how to deal with sadness, etc.

I actually feel like Vera takes after Paul, in a way that when she puts her foot down, she’ll go through fucking stone if needs be, and Paul is very similar to that. Their sense of humour comes from both Paul and John, but I feel like they appreciate the sort of “silliness” John seems to cultivate a bit more.

Anonymous said: Can you tell us more about George and Ringo from 5TL? How did they end up together and what kinda dynamic does their relationship have? :)

George and Ringo met when Paul inherited the cottage from his grandparents back in 1998. George would come along to help rebuilding the cottage which was in a complete shambles. For the first two years Paul, John and George would sleep in a guest room at the farm since the cottage was inhabitable. In the mornings the four of them, since they quickly started getting along with Ringo, skipped over the field that separates the farm and the cottage and they’d work on the cottage all day long.

As was said in chp. 5, “The four of them got along swimmingly right from the first moment, and the very nice lad’s good-natured, calm farm-boy attitude completed the group in a strangely perfect way.“ “George started helping at the cottage  very often, as well.”

So George and Ringo really got to know each other and fell in love during that time. There’s gonna be a chapter eventually that goes over these events, so I’m not going to delve too deep into it now, and some details might change over time, so that’s what you’re gonna have to do with for now :)

As for the dynamic between the two... George embodies this wonderful dry wit that matches perfectly with Ringo’s more good-natured and gentle teasing. Their relationship is easy and fun, very very soft and warm. It’s really quite relaxed, considering both of them do lot of repetitive work that takes a lot of time, and they’re like that together as well, patient and calm.

Anonymous said: Have any of the 5tl kids been lost/ran away at any point and given John and Paul a fright?

I think, in grocery shop, at most. They’ve always been quite adept at keeping the kids under their watchful eye, and the kids haven’t had any urges to run away (because while Dave has teenage angst, he has no urges to like, y’know, leave the family he loves?). Of course even when you lose your kid into a grocery shop it’s a bit of a scare, at least for the Mother Hens Paul And John, (in the early years, not so much anymore since their skin is so tough), but everything’s always worked out fine in the end.

Anonymous said: I have a questionnn: has 5tl John had issues with his weight/ insecurity in the same way that actual John did? Idk I just love getting insights into this universe

I don’t think so, not to the same extent. Probably when he was a teenager he would’ve worried a little over his figure (like all teenagers do) but in this universe he’s always stayed in a relatively good shape, body mass wise (he still can’t lift heavy things but, hey. he’s a scrawny artist cut him some slack) and as such he doesn’t have any insecurities over it. I think, if he ever grows a little bit of belly when he’s older, it’ll be received with good humour and loving taps from Paul :) <3

Anonymous said: is paul always the big spoon in 5tl or do they switch? (WHY do i only think of these questions when im going to sleep jrbhrnsfjsj) 🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔🐔

Bless this question honestly aaahhhh <3333, Paul indeed is NOT always the big spoon, they switch, and BOTH love being the little spoon cos it makes them feels so nice. When they first started dating John might’ve taken the role of the big spoon a little more since Paul was still SMALL (bbbless,,,) but they evened it out. Sappy beings,, <33

Anonymous said: How did Martha join the 5TL family?

In the most traditional way possible: First kids wanted a dog, then Paul wanted a dog, and John grudgingly said “okay, I guess” and then suddenly there was fur everywhere and he had to go outside for long walks everyday no matter the weather and he had to keep a puppy from eating every possible furniture while Paul was at work. Poor John. (But he secretly loves Martha so it’s okay. He gets a little weak in the knees when Paul babbles to her.)

Anonymous said: How old were 5Thomas L. J+P when they started talking about kids/ did poor oleJohn hit the roof and freak out when Paul first suggested it since we know he’s not a fan of kids (except his own ofc)!

I think the discussion took place quite early in the relationship. Paul has always known he’d want kids, and as for John, and I quote the very first sentence of the whole fic,

“Having children had never been a requirement for John to live happily ever after. He would, however, be completely fine with one or two if his future partner wanted them, and he would love the kids with all his heart (if they weren’t absolutely terrible).“

So John has never hated the thought of kids, but for him the thought of them was more along the lines of “yeah I’ll be fine even if I never had them but if some where to come I wouldn’t object to it at all” so when Paul brought the subject up (like “hey how do you feel about kids? I mean ‘cos I kinda love them and I definitely wanna be a dad someday, but ofc not if it meant breaking up with you, ‘cos I’ll much more prefer a life with you ‘cos you’re like the only person I’ve ever loved and wanted to have sex with xoxo :) in fact let’s have sex right now”) John would’ve been like “yeah, cool, if it’s any possible any day i’m game even though i‘ll probably suck at being a dad because DADDY ISSUES” (the key to john’s character in any universe,,)

Remember that when John proposed Paul literally answered with “yeah i’ll marry you ONLY IF I GET TO BE THE POP”, so at that point Paul’s desires were very well known for John, and John knew what he was getting into. And as we know, John adores his kids :) So they’ve pretty much always had the agreement that one day there will be kids if it’s just possible. Only when it became the reality that they CAN adopt Dave, John started becoming nervous with the possibility of fucking up terribly, and even then he wanted to have a kid SO bad, as you can read from Chapter 12: the Bath Scene (which gives me the FEELS). That scene and chapter explain John’s stance on this pretty well! :)

Anonymous said: How tall are the 5tl kids? Just wondering <3 I love this fic

Hahah, thank you! Out of all the asks I’ve got over this fic, this is maybe one of the strangest ones - but it’s not a bad thing! Hahah I love how it got me thinking.

The average 15 year old boy in the UK would be around 5″7, but since Dave is originally from France he’s a little shorter, I’d say 5″4. Vera is 4″6, and Chuck is 3″8 :)

Anonymous said: I can imagine John getting absolutely TURNT around Rasputin by Boney M in the 5TL verse for some reason and it makes me laugh a lot

You are absolutely RIGHT this is the absolute TRUTH and it’s CANON NOW I SAID IT. John loves Boney M if only because they hit him right to where it itches. He loves singing along to Daddy Cool and Paul kinda hates it because Paul likes the Ramones and Nirvana and Rock’n Roll, baby, and then there’s John waving this disco propaganda at his head, but they work around it.

(Occasionally Paul might be caught humming Ma Baker) (Mma-mma-mma-mma-mmmaah)

Anonymous said: Do you have any more 5tl headcannons? The wait is killing me lol

Hahaha so many of them are actual spoilers but have a small list of ones that I can share with you! (Also... this whole post kinda is based on my headcanons so.... ) :D

Dave creates memes about his sucker family and sends them over in the family whatsapp group

(Credit @sunbeatle​ <3)

This also includes the Pepe. John loves the Pepe. He sends Paul Pepe memes all day long. Paul wants to know who this lizard is.

Chuck loves Pepe. He draws Paul a Pepe drawing. John puts it on the wall above their bed.

“John please stop. i'm not having sex in front of the lizard”

John blindfolds Paul so that Paul doesn't have to look at Pepe

“John I am going to divorce you over that lizard.”

Dave: "oh my god pop. it's a fucking frog." Paul: "wHAt part of that LIZARD looks like a FROG to you????"

Plot twist: Paul actually loves Pepe and knows it's a frog but he loves seeing how amused John gets over Paul's loathing; Anything For The Husband

(Pepe idea: Credit for Maria and Daisy. made us all howl with laughter)

John uses a ton emojis, always the wrong and the weird ones. He is VERY aware of it. Chaotic Evil.

Paul used to have the same kind of sunglasses as Kurt Cobain in the 90′s. He actually used them. They looked like this:

Terrible.

Paul sometimes writes poems, mostly humorous ones with a tongue-in-cheek about his life; it’s a nice creative outlet. He also might write poems specifically directed at the kids, so a children’s story but in poem form, and then he reads them to Chuck (or has John read them dramatically, which really fun for all of them)

There you go people! Hopefully this satisfied your bottomless thirst for more 5TL for some time! Don’t be afraid to hit me with new asks and your own headcanons, I love discussing this fic! Cheerio! <3

[fairycosmos]

chloe, i need some help. ever since i got into college i dont feel like myself anymore. like im making all the wrong choices and i cant even see the person i used to be. im almost in a relationship with my professor, im not studying at all (which is rlly out of character. i love studying) im going out when i now i need to wake up early the next day (and then i dont). im spending all my money on stupid shit. im not reading, not sewing, im not myself. idk what happened or why im doing any of this

hey my love. i'm sorry to hear you're going through such a rough time right now, it must be extremely hard for you to find moments of peace and clarify :( alright so, it's normal for your interests and hobbies to change as you get older, and it's natural to have a million different selves (to an extent). but if you're noticing sudden self destructive patterns in your behaviour then it may be a sign of a much deeper issue. you're young, you're finding a comfortable version of yourself, which can take a lot of trial and error, so new experiences (even if they're not necessarily positive) are to be expected. however it seems like you're going in a direction that you're know isn't good for you, and the contrast between what you want to do and what you're actually doing is concerning. however the fact that you have the self awareness and the inner honesty to truly recognise that is a really good sign. i absolutely promise that where you're at right now isn't where you'll always be, not if you don't want to be. progress is within reach. periods of high stress, such as starting college, can have a massive impact on your mental health and the way you deal with your problems. it can bring out illnesses that may have gone previously undiagnosed. that's a very heavy idea, but take it on board as neutrally as you can. there are numerous ways to come to terms with your mind set, especially if you get a handle on it sooner rather than later. obviously i'm not an authority on this subject, but the symptoms you described are quite common ways for certain disorders to manifest. of course it could just be that you're in a new environment, you have new options, new perspectives - it's weird and confusing and being a little lost is alright, as is making mistakes. but it's very important that you take the time to evaluate the seriousness of what's going on. do you think this is something you need to talk to someone about? because i'd really urge you to do so. i think that's what it's all leading up to, it's fine to give into it. whether it's your doctor, a hotline, a college counselor, a referral from some local mental health resources, your parents - please, please consider it from an objective standpoint. your mind may try to talk you out of the idea, usin feelings of fear and apprehension against you, but you don't have to lean into it. you can't trust those thoughts that want to keep you locked in a negative cycle. it's genuinely alright to be scared and to not have everything figured out. it's painful, but allowing yourself to process and feel it is not a bad thing. i just think that you're seeing a pattern within your lifestyle, one that is detrimental to your overall health and happiness, so reaching out is an extremely viable and realistic option, even if you don't think it is. if there's a bigger problem causing your recent change in character, or if you just need someone to talk to and a bit of guidance, whatever it is - there is a way through it and you're not trapped. you will continue to grow and navigate and learn from whatever the world throws at you. you are so much stronger and more resilient than you think. you will adapt to whatever comes next, especially if you give yourself the tools to do so, even if sometimes you don't think you have the energy/capability to do that. you do, and you always will. if you take the time to talk to someone, especially a professional, they'll be able to help you identify what's going on, while showing you how to cope with the pressure of college life in a healthier way. they'll be able to work closely with you to develop a plan of action so you don't keep getting overwhelmed and jumping into crisis mode and acting impulsively. there are so many options, so many chances for you to find some stable ground here. they can also refer you if further treatment is going to help you get things back on track. i know that seems daunting and a bit terrifying, but the bottom line is that your mental health is just as important as your physical health, and sometimes it needs genuine medical support, just like any physical ailment would. there's no way around it, no shame in it. i'm not saying that it'll be quick or easy or that opening up will solve everything. i'm saying that what you're going through is NOT something you have to deal with all by yourself. alright? the only thing worse than talking to someone would be staying quiet and letting the circumstances get even worse when you know logically something's off, something needs to change for the better. i understand that every part of you is against the idea, that you just want to give in to the pain and the chaos, but you deserve so much more than that. even if you can't see it. as a sidenote it seems like your professor is taking advantage of your vulnerable state, he's an asshole. i think your focus should be on trying to get to a place where you feel ok about reaching out. he's not the solution to any of this. you have the strength, the power and the control to remove yourself from situations that are not serving you. you don't need the added pressure of a relationship. you need to look at your current state and decide what it is that you honestly need. i promise that if you don't want to keep hurting and losing yourself over and over again, that you can stop. you can. there are professionals that will SHOW you how to stop. but it all starts with admitting to what's going on in the first place by looking past you intense emotions, erratic urges and self hating thinking patterns, and talking to someone. listen, you can and will make it through this. take it one day at a time, talk to your family and friends, and confront each hurdle with their support. you're going to be alright, and you are truly not alone in this. i mean it. a lot of people have been where you are. i believe in you with all my heart and i'm rooting for you very much. let me know if you need a friend or someone to talk to, i'll be here. sending love.

[fluidityandgiggles]

The Plastics: Phase 2

(Phase 1 - part 1, part 2)

—————

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart!” Roman was looming over the sink, trying his best not to stare at his boyfriend.

His very much shirtless boyfriend.

Roman knew how much Virgil loved his 7-Eleven slurpees. (Part of him liked the fact that his boyfriend was a less-homicidal version of JD.) But sadly, so did Remy. So when Remy told Roman to throw Virgil’s slurpee at him... he couldn’t argue against that.

It was Remy, after all.

But he isn’t going to complain about his boyfriend being shirtless.

“It’s perfectly fine, it was just a slurpee.” Virgil gave Roman a smile that he would never be caught, dead or alive, giving to anyone. “Just... do you have a spare shirt?”

“Do you mind that it’s Wednesday?”

—

Having lunch with the Plastics was like leaving the real world and entering “Popular World”. And Popular World had a lot of rules.

“You can’t wear a tank top two days in a row,” Roman told me. “And we only wear track pants on Fridays.”

Well... let’s consider the issue with the statement. That day, both Remy and Roman were wearing jeans. Remy’s blue, and Roman’s white. Their shirts were pink, though.

And Emile... yeah. He was in a skirt.

“I mean, not just you. Like, any of us. Okay, like, if I was wearing track pants today, I would be sitting over there with the drama kids.” Emile started giggling. “You think this is a joke? Drama club is not a joke.”

“We know, Roman.”

“Oh, and we always vote before we ask someone to eat lunch with us, because you have to be considerate of the rest of the group.” Understandable. “Well, I mean, you wouldn’t buy clothes without asking your friends first if they look good on you.”

“I wouldn’t?”

“Right. Oh, and it’s the same with guys.” I think this was when Roman’s leg started jumping. “Like, you may think you like someone, but you could be wrong.”

And then Roman looked at Virgil. Who was playing with a pair of aviators. Well... if I had to guess...

“A hundred and twenty calories, and forty-eight calories from fat...” So Remy could read labels. Nice. “What percent is that?”

“Forty-eight into one-twenty...?”

“I’m only eating foods with less than 30% calories from fat.”

“It’s 40%.” The confused looks I got from Remy and Roman were... weird. Let’s call them weird. “Well, 48 over 120 equals X over 100, and then you cross-multiply and get the value of X.”

“...whatever. I’m getting cheese fries.”

Sure, Remy. Sure.

As soon as Remy got away, though... Roman started talking. “So, have you seen any guys that you think are cute yet?”

“We’re all gay here,” Emile said. I think to himself. I hope to himself.

“Well...” Better be honest. “There’s this guy in my calculus class-”

“Who is it?”

“It’s a senior?” Yes, Roman. It’s a senior.

“His name’s Patton Graham.”

If I had to compare this moment to anything... it would probably be a bomb drop. Roman started a chorus of “no”s, with Emile joining in every now and again.

“Oh no, you can’t like Patton Graham!”

The literal angel descended from heaven to grace this world with his beauty and overall being? Sure. Why? Can you explain why, Roman? Huh? You wanna try an explanation, bitch?

“That’s Remy’s ex-boyfriend.”

Oh.

“They went out for a year.” Thankfully, this was said by Emile. Roman’s voice was starting to annoy me.

“Yeah.” And... we’re back. “And he was devastated when Patton broke up with him last summer.”

“I thought he dumped him for Ollie Hendricks.”

“Okay, irregardless. Ex-boyfriends are just off-limits to friends. I mean, that’s just, like... the rules of feminism. Or something.”

I swear I heard Virgil snort.

“Don’t worry. I’ll never tell Remy what you said. It’ll be our little secret.”

I seriously doubted it.

—

“We define the sum of the infinite geometric series...”

Even though I wasn’t allowed to like Patton, I was still allowed to look at him. And think about him. And talk to him.

“Hey, Pat-”

“Hey, you’re the Africa guy, right?” A guy (who, to be fair, looks like a top hat would just fit him perfectly, he’s just that kind of creepy) asked me. As I was going to talk to Patton.

Rude much?

“Yeah.”

“I’m Dorian Pechmann, captain of the North Shore Mathletes. We participate in math challenges against other high schools around the state, and we’re missing a member. You should think about joining.”

“Oh, you’d be perfect for it!” Our teacher - Ms. Torres - jumped in.

“Yeah, definitely.”

“Great, great. Let me give you my card!”

This guy has a card...?

‘Dorian Pechmann - Math Enthusiast/Bad-ass M.C.’

It even includes his phone number. Lovely.

“Okay, so... think it over. Cause we’d like to actually compete this year.”

Okay...

—

Patton actually almost talked to me later that day, if only Remy didn’t pull up near the football field and screamed “get in, loser, we’re going shopping!”

Remy is like the Barbie doll I never had. I’d never seen anybody so glamorous.

“So how do you like North Shore?” Emile asked me in the mall.

“It’s good. I think I’m joining the mathletes.”

And again with the booming chorus of no.

“You cannot do that,” Remy said. Incredibly harsh for a valley girl. “This is social suicide. Damn, you are so lucky you have us to guide you!”

And then Roman spaced out. And I could see why. Over in the shop we were passing...

There was Virgil.

I was starting to suspect more and more.

Being at Old Orchard Mall kind of reminded me of being home in Africa. By the watering hole. When the animals are in heat.

“Oh my god there’s Jason!”

“Where? ...oh, there he is.”

“And he’s with Taylor Wedell!”

Remember Jason? From the cafeteria? Yeah. The poor person he was now picking up...

Was a girl.

“I heard they’re going out.”

“Wait...” Remy’s smirk grew into a vicious smile. If we can call it that. “Jason’s not going out with Taylor. No. He cannot blow you off like that. He’s such a little skeez. Give me your phone.”

“You’re not gonna call him... right?”

“Do you think I’m an idiot?”

“No.”

It took Remy exactly three seconds to dial up a number - how exactly? - and ask for “Wedell on South Boulevard.”

“Caller ID-”

“Not when you connect from Information.” And then, “Hello, may I please speak to Taylor Wedell?”

I swear his voice became more feminine when he said that.

“Oh, this is Susan from Planned Parenthood. I have her test results. If you could have her give me a call as soon as she can. It’s urgent. Thank you!”

And then, “she’s not going out with anyone.”

“Okay,” Roman said, finally smiling. “That was so fetch!”

It took just a couple seconds after that for Taylor Wedell to run away screaming.

—

Remy’s house was bigger than I have ever known a house to be. His step-mom was incredibly plastic-y, like a tv trophy wife or something, and his sister - oh god, his sister! His poor, sweet, innocent preteen sister - was watching MTV.

I honestly don’t think the content was entirely age appropriate.

His step-mom also offered us drinks that could have passed for alcoholic, which was even more worrying for a second.

But his room...

“It was my parents’ room,” Remy told me. “But I made them trade me.”

Bitch...

Even worse, bitch who flaunts around his ex-boyfriends. Like all the pictures of Patton he has hanging on his door.

“Logan, do you even know who sings this?” Remy asked me about the music that was playing on the radio.

“Umm... One Direction?”

“Oh my god, I love him! He’s like a Martian!”

Is that a... compliment...?

“God, my hips are huge!” Emile was checking himself out in the mirror... why?

Is that what friends do...? Gay people as a whole...? What?

“Oh please, I hate my calves.” Something about Roman’s tone sounded incredibly fake.

“At least you guys don’t have huge shoulders.”

I used to think there was just fat and skinny. Apparently, there’s a lot of things that can be wrong about your body.

And so, after listing about eleven hundred things that are wrong about their bodies, they turned to me. Expected me to talk.

Well... “I have really bad breath in the morning.”

“...ew.”

And then, “Oh my god, I remember this!” Emile was holding a pink album.

‘The Burn Book.’

“I haven’t looked at that in forever! Come check it out, Logan!”

“It’s our Burn Book,” Roman told me. “See, we cut out pictures of people from the yearbook, mostly girls, sometimes also guys, and then we wrote comments.”

“Trang Pak is a grotsky little bitch.” “Still true!”

“Dawn Schweitzer is a fat virgin.” “Still half true!”

“Amber d’Alessio masturbated with a hot dog.”

“Virgil Thompson,” Emile read out. “Stoner.”

Wait, what?

��Who is that?”

“I think it’s that kid Thomas,” Roman said. His voice still sounded... well, off.

“Yeah. He’s almost too gay to function.”

“Ha, that’s funny! Put that in there.”

Oh no. What have I done. Maybe that was only okay when Virgil said it.

—

“And they have this book, this Burn Book, where they write mean things about a lot of people in our grade.”

Virgil looked incredibly enthusiastic. Maybe a bit too much for the situation.

“What does it say about me?”

That you’re a stoner. “You’re not in it.”

“Those assholes.” He seemed to enjoy it far too much.

“Will this minimize my pores?” Thomas was holding a tube of... whatever cream that was.

“No. Logan, you gotta steal that book.”

“No way!”

“Oh, come on! We could publish it and then everybody would see what a dick he really is!”

“I don’t steal.”

“That is for your feet!” Virgil literally snatched the new cream from Thomas’ hands the second he brought it up. “Logan, there are two kinds of evil people. People who do evil stuff, and people who see evil stuff being done and don’t try to stop it.”

“Does that mean I’m morally obligated to burn that lady’s outfit?”

Thomas really shouldn’t have said that, probably.

“Oh my god, that’s Ms. Torres.”

“I love seeing teachers outside of school! It’s like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs!”

“Oh, hey, guys,” Ms. Torres called as she came to the counter. “What’s up? I didn’t know you worked here.”

“Yeah, moderately priced soaps are my calling.”

“You shopping?”

“No, no. I’m just here with my boyfriend.” Yeah... literally the only other customer in the shop. “Joking. Sometimes older people make jokes.”

“My nana takes her wig off when she’s drunk.”

“Your nana and I have that in common,” she deadpanned. “No, actually I’m just here because I bartend a couple nights a week down at P.J. Calamity’s. Logan, I hope you do join Mathletes, you know. Because we start in a couple weeks.”

“I think I’m gonna do it.”

“Great!”

“You can’t join Mathletes, it’s social suicide!” Thomas rushed to say.

“Thanks, Thomas.” And then, “well... this has been sufficiently awkward. And I’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

“Oh man, that is bleak,” Virgil sighed when Ms. Torres left. “So, when are you gonna see Remy again?”

“I can’t spy on him anymore. It’s weird.”

“Come on, he’s never gonna find out! It’s just... it’ll be like our little secret!”

Okay then...

—————

Tag list:

@broadwaytheanimatedseries @anony-phangirl @itsthemoooooooooon @whatwashernameagain @illmamnim @anotherfanboyonline @illogical-anxieties @allsortsofgeekery @ask-m423 @samwantstobereal @creepy-crawly-death-dealer @nepturanus-thy-planet @impatentpending @pheo742 @the-randomest-ofthe-fandomest @fanderily @tripleaaace @jokesequaljoker

[shsl-shipper-gamer-fangirl]

Phantom Confidants AU

In an alternate universe, I actually write about a P5 AU where the non-party social links are the phantom thieves of that universe. So Mishima, Hifumi, Shinya, Sojiro, Toranosuke, Iwai, Takemi, Ohya, Chihaya, Kawakami and even Sae. Honestly I would have loved to have an animal in the group but Morgana is the only animal social link and he's an original member. But hey it's still a pretty diverse group considering it's a mix of mostly adults, some teens, and a kid. They've got a pretty badass lineup to be honest so here's how I think it'll go. 

Full plot, codenames, and Mementos chats under the cut: 

(SPOILERS AHEAD) 

Plot Your Heart Out!

So first up, who would be the new protagonist? At first I figured Mishima because he's got that work-in-progress good guy vibes. But then I checked the list and realized that most of the group are adults and not really sure if Mishima can handle the leadership role. So who else? Then it hit me. Best dad Sojiro. Think about it. He had a direct connection with Wakaba who started this whole metaverse discovery. It's the perfect setup! He helped Wakaba with her research from time to time and during one of the experiments, they had discovered the metaverse. Maybe. I'm making this up as I go. Anyways! 

The general premise is that Sojiro was the first Phantom Thief in his youth and became an urban legend later on when he retired. When he took in Futaba, he promised he'd devote himself full time into raising her so he quit the calling card business. Except fast forward many years later, he was forced to wear/rip off his mask again. 

In this AU, Sojiro already changed Futaba's heart early on so Futaba was able to enroll at Shuujin Academy. It's all fine at first until she comes home and brings up Kamoshida and how no one not even adults can lay a hand on him. Her concerns bring out his instinct protect his child from such monster. When conventional methods failed and the rumors of sexual assault is less farfetched from the truth, he didn't hesitate to start stealing hearts again. 

During the infiltration he'll most likely be able to recruit Mishima and Kawakami (both obviously carry good reasons to get back at Kamoshida). Mishima has average stats which makes him a good support member. He gets stronger with baton pass! Someone give this child a confidence booster and he will plow you. Kawakami has the best buffs which makes life so much easier. They succeed and the school becomes safe so he thought his comeback was just a one time thing. Oh he was sorely mistaken. 

At this point, gossip about the Phantom Thieves have spread and such news have even reached our local back alley doctor. During the weeks before Kamoshida's confession, Sojiro had been striking up unethical deals for medicine from her and so she connects the dots. She confronts him at the cafe during a slow night. She doesn't plan on ratting him out however she wants in. She wants him to change the heart of this one doctor and gives him a deadline (she doesn't say at first that it's because of that one girl patient although they find out anyway during the confrontation in the palace). She somehow ends up joining them during infiltration, awakens and joins the team. She is probably the closest friend/acquaintance that Sojiro had among the group before they were phantom thieves. 

Then comes my favorite arc temporary title Guns Ablaze. They're somehow managing in the metaverse but medicine can only go so far. They need good equipment and when they realized that model guns were effective in the metaverse (courtesy of Mishima experimentally bringing one with him once because real guns are illegal), they decide to shop at Untouchable. Only to somehow get roped into his yakuza blackmail drama. 

Sojiro develops a camaraderie with Iwai because they're both single parents trying hard to raise their adopted child. Definitely share the father of the year award. He joins them at the first day of infiltration because this is his fight and he will settle this with them. Hell, he doesn't even hesitate to bring a real gun with him and shoot a shadow even without a persona. Turns out the shadow yakuza is stronger than a few bullets but he faces him head on and awakens. He is Sojiro's best bro and they talk about parenting a lot. 

Halfway through though they get stuck because the shadows are surprisingly agile. Gun attacks are effective but they keep missing their shots. And you guessed it. They're going to have a kid teach them how to shoot a gun. It's embarrassing really at first, especially for the adults, but they respect Shinya for his sharpshooting skills. They hang out with Shinya a couple of times and the kid grew on to them. One time though they decided to head to the palace after training/hanging out with him but they didn't know that Shinya followed them due to some undecided plot device. He wouldn't awaken in the palace tho but he's still in awe. Some time later, the mother issue happens and he asks for their help. He asks to join them when they decide to change her heart and that's how he awakens. He is best boy. They dote on him a lot. 

Meanwhile the Phantom Thieves are gaining popularity, hence a greater demand in media. Ohya being one of those journalists assigned to write about them, accidentally discovers more than just your average article. However, good journalism is confirming facts before publishing half-truths and so she investigates further regarding Sojiro's group. She ends up frequenting either the cafe or the clinic (she tried the airsoft shop but that was too obvious). She ends up being a regular of Sojiro's curry and of Takemi's medicine (altho she just goes there to flirt err fish info). It takes a while, weeks even, but at some point, someone slips. She gets her evidence on them being Phantom Thieves but she has no plans on outing them just yet. She asks them to change the heart of her boss and they do, with her help even. She insists on tagging along and they couldn't shake her off so she comes with them. She awakens when she confronts her boss' shadow. From there on, she's been helping the team with selecting their targets because who better than a journalist? 

Recruiting Hifumi was probably the most obscure accident, mostly because I honestly can't think of a good connection just yet. There's the fact that she goes to church and Wakaba's grave is near there but even that is grasping straws. Maybe Hifumi put in a mementos request? Somehow got dragged by proximity when they went to mementos and she was just on her way to catch the late train home? I don't know. Someone help me. Chihaya too. I was thinking that Chihaya gets involved with Ohya's arc. Maybe they're friends since they both frequent the red light district. Yeah let's go with that. Chihaya is obviously the navigator of the group so she's a must have party member and Hifumi is the strategist also a must have. They work hard okay. 

Moving on! At some point they try to target the politician from Toranosuke's social link. But it becomes their shortest case ever. Tora had somehow figured that his old acquaintance could be targeted by the phantom thieves and he wants to stop the, but he has no way of contacting them. One day he went to visit that guy's place but coincidentally it was his place of distortion. Coincidentally, the phantom thieves were there and unaware of Tora's proximity. He gets pulled in with them. They never did manage to beat the Palace ruler. Instead Tora just talks it put with the shadow and the palace crumbles after negotiations succeed. Everyone's confused as to what just happened but they're not against it. Tora awakens on his own the next time he joins them, probably in Mementos. He refuses to fight but he always steps up to talk with shadows willing to negotiate. 

At this point, the phantom thieves reputation is skyrocketing. The hype is so strong that Sojiro gets a warrant of arrest. Sae hadn't confirmed it yet but she has made enough connections to point Sojiro as a suspect phantom thief. They do their own research to find out the best way to get out of this. During their investigation, they find out that there's been a suspicious pressure to have the phantom thieves arrested, abnormally so. They deduce that although Sae was an immediate threat, she was just being pulled by the strings. 

They needed to see the bigger picture and to so that, perhaps Sae was the key. They need her cooperation and to have that, they need her to have a change of heart except without the excessive guilt to render her incapacitated. They tried talking it out with her but when that failed they had no choice but had her face the facts, or rather face her shadow self. Sae awakens in her own palace, realizing how twisted her desires had become. When they escape, she asks if she could join their cause and they gladly welcome her. 

Shido is the last palace not just because of him being a corrupt prime minister but also considering the motherfucker had Wakaba murdered which makes this personal for Sojiro. After all, not only did Sojiro love Wakaba (romantically or not) but she was also the reason he was able to become a Phantom Thief in the first place. That fucking dildo Shido is long overdue to be brought down by Sojiro so that Wakaba can have some semblance of justice. Oh and Japan gets saved too I guess. (Yaldabaoth who?) 

>>Oh yeah, although Futaba isn't a thief here, it's not because she doesn't know. It's only because Sojiro forbade her and his word is law so she's still mad about that. She still helps as Alibaba though. Honestly best non-party member confidant of Sojiro and that's not just father bias talking. Okay maybe a little father bias but he's a proud dad okay. 

>>Also Morgana is a social link of Sojiro's. Except it's really just Sojiro being a softie with the cat. He has no idea what Morgana's meows mean (does he even talk/transform in this au?) but he is a good landlord and sometimes he feeds the cat better than he does Akira. 

>>Originally I didn't want Sojiro to be a Wild Card but due to Persona Tradition, in order to be a protagonist one must be a special snowflake with lots of facades inside. So I guess his velvet room would look like a cafe only without the coffee because Caroline and Justine (or just Lavenza) are kids and coffee is bad for them. Sojiro feels so uncomfortable with Igor behind the counter because for a barista to not touch them coffee beans at all, that's pretty suspicious. 

—

Codenames 'subject to change' 

Sojiro Sakura - Solo (single shot of espresso) 

Yuuki Mishima - Wolf (talk about wolf in sheep's clothing or is it the other way around?) 

Hifumi Togo - Jade or General (because shogi) 

Shinya Oda - Trigger (guns guns guns)

 Munehisa Iwai - Gecko (his tattoo) 

Tae Takemi - Witchdoctor or Plague (she protec but she also attac) 

Ichiko Ohya - Rebel (fight the power!) 

Sadayo Kawakami - Burnout (teachers have no chill) 

Chihaya Mifune - Tarot (fortune telling duh) 

Toranosuke Yoshida - Tiger (his name) 

Sae Niijima - Empress or Judge (her personality)

—

Mementos Chats: 

Ohya: No matter how much I drink every night, my body still gets hangovers sometimes. Hey, Takemi. You're a doctor, right? Know any good medicine for this? 

Takemi: I can actually prescribe you with the best medicine. Prevention. "Drink moderately" is an effectively proven motto to live by. 

—

Toranosuke: I tried checking this "phansite" and I keep seeing the "pound sign heart stolen", could you explain to me what that means? 

Mishima: ...Did you mean hashtag? I think I'll be explaining to you more than just that. 

—

Shinya: Are all adults like this? Stressed? I've been thinking about how I'm not growing up fast enough but now I think I just want to be a kid forever. 

Iwai: Smart move, kid. But don't let us get to you. Us adults are fun too, heh, when we're not too buried in bills and taxes.

— 

Iwai: Hey, know any good places to bring your kid? 

Sojiro: Depends on what he likes and the occasion. From what I heard, your kid already likes you enough so just go out and have fun with the kid. 

—

Mishima: Between studying and phantom thieving, I think I just might be better with the latter. 

Kawakami: Why? Last time I checked, your grades seem pretty okay. Are you having difficulties with any of your subjects recently? You know you can always ask me to teach you. 

—

Kawakami: I know I signed up for this but this is too exhausting! I don't even have the energy to check papers after. When I get home, I just collapse on my bed! 

Ohya: I know what you mean. I can't even make a pit stop at my favorite bar! 

—

Chihaya: I've seen shadows in my fortune tellings but to think that I'll be using it against literal shadows. The city sure is amazing ain't it. 

Hifumi: I'm not sure if it is exclusive to the city. Nevertheless, it is always fascinating to watch you work, Chihaya-san. 

—

Hifumi: Despite this group being composed mostly of adults, I find myself strangely at ease... 

Sae: Even as an adult, I agree with that sentiment. This is... a wonderful group to belong to.

—

Sae: I've been meaning to ask this but how do you juggle Phantom Thief work with your real world jobs? I honestly didn't think you had any free time to spare. As a case example, I myself only get by with four hours of sleep on slow days.

Takemi: We seriously need to reevaluate your working schedule... That or quit your job. Can't have you dying from exhaustion on us. 

—

Takemi: I may be a doctor but you all need to look after yourselves better. If any of you collapse, I'm not footing your hospital bills. 

Sojiro: What's this? Free medical advice? You've gotten soft. 

—

Sojiro: So you've been hanging out with Akira and Futaba lately? Those two can't be good influences on you. 

Shinya: They're cool, I guess. Heh, so what if they're bad influences? I hang out enough with you guys at night so that should balance it out, right?

—

Some other trivia: 

Since most of the group are adults with full time jobs, they do most of the phantom thief stuff at night 

They also work out a schedule because they have a lot of responsibilities outside phan stuff 

Still, since Sojiro is a veterinarian at this, they usually accomplish a lot in an hour or two so that helps 

Mishima and Hifumi are forbidden to do any phantom thief activities during exams week 

Meanwhile Kawakami excuses herself for the week after finals week (checking papers is exhausting okay) 

Kawakami is at the forefront of "long weekends do not touch" and "holidays touch them and you die" because teachers need those okay 

Kawakami volunteers to clean the dirty armor they find but on the condition that she gets first dibs on good armor 

Mishima still manages the phansite and he's super proud about the work they do 

Mishima visits the cafe a lot and eventually befriends Akira and Futaba 

Hifumi still speaks dramatically when giving orders or planning strategies in the metaverse 

Hifumi is actually very extra but they just let her be 

Toranosuke can't really fight much but damn he's good at them shadow negotiations 

Toranosuke can't join much because he campaigns at night but he makes it a point to be present at least once a week and during important meetings 

Shinya can't stay too late either so they either go in earlier sometimes or make up an excuse in unexpected cases 

You'd think Shinya would get teased a lot but he's actually doted upon 

Gee Shinya, how come you get to have three dads? 

Iwai and Sojiro are best dad friends and you can't tell me otherwise 

Iwai only cancels on them for father-son bonding and he usually gives them prior notice 

Ohya is the type who cancels at the last minute or arrives late 

Ohya is also the one who invites the adults out for drinks after 

Sojiro offers coffee as an alternative for those who want or may need it 

Takemi is the strict mom friend who doesn't let anyone get sick on her watch 

Takemi forbids anyone to do anything further the moment the first signs of exhaustion show 

Takemi has a special skill that makes her immune to status ailments (unlockable with social link rank up) 

Chihaya does their fortunes upon request with or without persona (she still uses her tarot cards either way) 

Chihaya still slips in her accent sometimes especially when they get ambushed 

Sae is super conscious about used to having a palace (and the only one in the team who had one) but the squad is understanding and she feels happy to be accepted even still 

Sae actually gets along pretty well with them despite their previous conflicts, which are all water under the bridge 

Sae is probably the most OP out of all of them, maybe it's because she had to face her own shadow, hmmm 

The women of the group do hang, sometimes even go out for drinks 

Hifumi joins mostly on weekends because those are in the mornings and Takemi forbids alcohol as long as the sun is out so they just window shop mostly or eat out 

More often than not, those hang outs extend into evenings so Hifumi excuses herself and Ohya now drags the rest to Crossroads 

Meanwhile the guys just chill at Cafe Leblanc, sometimes Iwai even brings his son 

They do have outings with the whole squad (sometimes plus Futaba!) 

They are a good squad, and god I love this AU

—

I uhhhh wanted to write down everything, like codename, outfit, persona, awakening scene, skills, mementos chats with each other, and all but I didn't have the time. Maybe I'll do them in another post? Maybe. Just know that I love them confidants and this au stole my heart. 

If anyone wants to add, draw, write for the Phantom Confidants AU then feel free to do so! Have fun with this idea and enjoy!!

[sweetnestor]

You Look Happier | Chapter 7

university au, teamiplier + jack

platonic/romance/angst/(smut at one point but it’ll only be on ao3)

previous chapter

I didn't see Ethan at all the next day because I was knee deep in marching for basic human rights. The day after that, Ethan was busy at his place, prepping videos for an upcoming convention. He only had time to send one heart emoji in the span of a couple of days.

Now, my usual self would feel super discouraged because this was a new relationship and we were hardly talking to each other. But this wasn't your typical relationship. Our jobs were pretty demanding, especially Ethan's. I was trying to upload videos twice a week now, but he was uploading every day alongside working for Mark. I knew what this meant, and having the experience of dating in these circumstances made me deal with it a little better.

The biggest downside at the moment, though, was refraining from speaking about it in a video. I always tried to find something to ramble about when I filmed a tutorial, but the only topic in my head was my new relationship. Either that, or my depression, but there was nothing new to add there.

“I'm gonna do something simple, but different,” I said to the camera. “I used to do this in high school a lot - which reminds me, should I do one of those ‘how I did my makeup in high school’ looks? Let me know - anyway, we're making a wing from eyeshadow. I'm feeling fucking wild today, so we're using this.”

I held up a single, bright blue pigment that was cased in black packaging. I couldn't flat out say I had a boyfriend, but I could do things like this.

“All you'll need is your shadow, a liner brush and setting spray,” I explained. “This color is called ‘Paranoid.’ Just like me,” I added, smiling sarcastically. “Okay, but for real, the KVD single shadows are amazing for things like this.”

At first, I was joking about the “paranoid” comment, but after I had finished the video, I couldn't help but feel exactly that. It wasn't a secret to the Internet that Ethan and I knew each other. Some people from his community had migrated towards my channel recently, what if they found out he and I were dating now? What if they knew from a single eyeshadow? God, I could see the memes now: “remember when Bella outed her relationship with a blue shadow?”

Needless to say, I scrapped that video and started over. I used bright pink eyeshadow and talked about the Women's March. Had to act like I was single and sad.

~

I finally got to see Ethan the night before he left for PAX South. It was nearly our one week anniversary, and he was flying off to San Antonio the next day. Missing anniversaries and important dates were expected. I didn't mind, despite that I missed him every time we were apart. I know, how gross.

It was another car date. These were becoming a regular thing, and I liked it. There were plenty of drive-thru places around town. We just sat there, eating and listening to music.

“So when do we start telling people?” I asked in thought.

“Um, who knows right now?” Ethan replied. “Because I haven't told anyone, not even my parents.”

I wasn't sure what that meant. Although, I realized I didn't have many people to tell, or any. Was that sad?

“Well for me,” I told him, “Jack is probably the only person I have right now, and he already knows. But he won't say anything to anyone.”

“The only person?” Ethan asked. “What about Mark?”

I raised my eyebrows. “You sure you want him to know just yet?”

He hesitated and then shook his head. “Maybe later.”

I decided to change the subject. “So what classes did you pick for this semester?”

“Editing… lecture.” He shook his head like that was a ridiculous thing to say. “Video production… and biology. One of those things is not like the other.”

“Yeah, those general ed policies are kinda useless,” I said with a chuckle. “But I'm taking biology too, so maybe we'll have that class together. I also have psychology, video production, and I might try to crash a Spanish or LGBTQ+ class.”

“Hm, nice.”

Just then, Intertwined began to play on the radio. My heart fluttered, and I looked at Ethan, who had broke out a smile.

“Can’t believe it’s been almost a week,” I spoke. “And I haven’t seen you in almost week.”

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean for… I don’t know, I just got busy. And now I’m leaving for the weekend, too, and… agh, I’m sorry.”

I reached over and placed my hand on his arm. “Hey, it’s totally fine, I understand. There’s things that need to be done, things we both have to do. We just have to make time for each other. Besides, I’d rather see you once a week than not at all.”

Ethan slipped his hand into mine and nodded. “Okay. We’ll make time. Just… text me when I’m gone.”

“Okay.”

At that moment, I really just wanted to kiss him. I was looking at his face, and then his neck and down his chest. In the past, I usually tried to resist the indulgence, but now I really couldn’t help it. By the time my eyes were trailing back to his face, he caught me.

“What?” he asked.

My cheeks flushed. “You’re just really cute,” I admitted shyly.

Now Ethan was the one blushing. Seeing him sheepishly duck his head made me smile disgustingly huge.

“I’m not cute,” he mumbled. “I’m… a man.”

“Shut up, you’re adorable,” I told him, poking his cheek.

Ethan grabbed my wrist before I could retract it. He smiled and then kissed my hand. This was absolutely cheesy, but I was melting at the gesture. I felt like I was sixteen again.

~

Honestly, I expected complete silence from Ethan over the weekend. I was pleasantly surprised to find a text from him. It was a selfie with his friends, Brian and G.

“They didn’t believe me when I told them we’re dating! :(“

So he was telling people now. It made my stomach turn, because I knew that meant that I would have to meet them at one point. It also meant that there were more chances of this getting back to Mark before we were ready to tell him.

That was a conversation for another time, though.

“Well duh! I’m not your actual girlfriend, you’re just paying me to hang out with you! :p”

I giggled to myself, and even more when he responded again.

“No one is supposed to know, though!”

Having a constant smile on my face was something I wasn’t used to anymore. It was strange. I tried to hide my tiny grin as I met up with Jack by the front door.

“Can you believe the semester starts in two days?” he said as he opened the door to step outside.

“I know! We’re dying,” I replied, following his trail. But I suddenly stopped when I felt drops of water hitting the top of my head.

I looked up and saw nothing but grey clouds to accompany the bitter and cold air. Any attempts I had made to hide my cheesy smile disappeared as I continued walking to my car. Once we were in, engine on, I adjusted the volume on the radio. I bopped my head to the song playing and then took off down the street. Things felt… not so terrible, for once. Wasn’t sure if I should get comfortable with it just yet.

At one point during the ride, I noticed Jack looking at me. When I reached a stoplight, I returned the gaze. “Can I help you?”

“You’re singing again,” he pointed out in a teasing voice.

I didn’t notice until he had said that, and all I did was shrug in response. “So?”

“You seem… less down,” he said. “That’s all. It’s different, I like it.”

Don’t overthink it. But I thought I was always singing. Wasn’t F.U. by Little Mix something I always belted out in the car? The only thing I had noticed about myself was the fact that every time I thought about Ethan, I couldn’t stop smiling.

This month started badly, but it felt like things were starting to look up.

At least, I thought that. We got to campus - or, rather, we were down the street from YouTube University, stuck in a line of cars. I was so used to driving here without traffic issues, I had forgotten it was moving day for most of the student body.

“Are they still doing schedule handouts in front of the fountain?” Jack wondered. “Because I do not want to stand in those fucking lines again.”

“You and me both,” I replied.

A knot was forming in my stomach as the line of cars moved forward. I didn’t want to stand in a crowd of loud, pushy people. With how insane vlogger mentality had gotten over time, I was terrified of stepping foot on campus. I had heard horror stories from Aria, of how people would sneak her and her ex-boyfriend into vlogs. I was afraid of stepping on campus with Jack now.

As soon as the thought hit me, guilt covered the knot in my stomach. Did I really have any other choice, though?

“Hey, why don’t you get off here while I find a parking space?” I offered as we got closer to the roundabout in front of the office.

Jack was surprised. “Uh, are you sure?”

“Yeah, I mean… you said you wanted to get recording as soon as possible today, right?” I tried to sound casual and calm.

“Well, yeah, but are you gonna be okay by yourself?”

Probably not, but why would I tell him that? “Yeah, I’ll meet you back at your dorm.”

“Are you sure?”

“We’re missing the roundabout! Line is moving!”

“Okay!” Jack quickly grabbed his backpack and got out of the car.

I took a deep breath as soon as he was gone. I also tried not to regret making him leave. I tried to ignore how vulnerable I felt now that I was alone. New generation vloggers were scary. Big crowds were scary. My best friend/safe buddy was a comfort, but he was also hard to miss, which gave a bigger chance of people approaching and possibly vlogging him.

Finding a place to park was hell, as always. But as soon as the car was stationary, I found myself not wanting to get out. I suddenly felt like I was twenty two again. First semester, fearing the unknown so badly it made me vomit. The only difference now is 1) I had a friend waiting for me, and 2) I was trying to fight off the unnecessary suicidal thoughts. Or, “intrusive” thoughts, to make them seem less daunting. They were just thoughts after all, and those were far less intense than actually acting them out.

I nodded to myself and pushed myself out of the vehicle. So far, I hadn’t seen anyone I knew. I put my hood on for good measure, hiding my pink hair inside my sweater. It was an odd comfort to be covered and concealed by a huge piece of fabric.

As I got closer to the building, I heard music booming from within the campus. I knew YTU was a party school, I just didn’t think it would happen so soon.

However, once I was past the office doors (swimming past groups of people), I saw that it wasn’t a party, but the dance team. It appeared to be the same group I had seen perform on stage a year prior, and I couldn’t help but smile. I hadn’t seen Sophie and Aria since that day in my apartment, and they looked ecstatic and graceful performing in front of the fountain. It was actually impressive, given that the ground was slippery from the rain. The whole team held their ground.

A crowd was forming around them, blocking my view from where I was standing. I wanted to get closer, but I hesitated. Did I want to risk crowding myself to see Sophie and Aria, or did I want to risk looking like a bad friend and walking away? I took a few steps closer to the source of the sound, not really watching where I was going until I practically ran into someone.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry!” I frantically said, nearly scared out of my wits.

“It’s okay,” replied a familiar voice.

It was Amy. I was already mildly distressed. Now, I could feel myself short circuiting.

She seemed just as surprised that I was here. Instead of just shrugging it off and moving along, we stood there staring at each other in shock. Why was she here, if not with Mark? That had to be why she was here, right?

Think later, I reminded myself. Then I turned on my heel to go to the boys’ dorms, until:

“Bella, wait!”

Fuck.

Hesitating at first, I turned to her again, trying to keep the fear out of my eyes. Panic was crashing into my like a tidal wave.

“Can we talk sometime?” she asked.

If you want to punch me in the fucking face for talking to your boyfriend, then just do it! Knock me unconscious! I wanted to say.

“W-Why?” I stammered out instead.

Amy hesitated, but then took a step closer to me.  “Mark wants you back in his life. I think we have some things to talk about too, if that’s gonna happen.”

This wasn’t helping at all. She somehow picked up on it.

“It’s nothing bad, don’t worry,” she added. “Just… at one point, we should�� meet up, over coffee?”

I’m making amends with Mark, not you, I thought bitterly. But if I’m going to be friends with him again, then you’ll be apart of the mix regardless.

“Okay,” I said softly.

“Okay, great,” she said, looking like a weight was lifted off her shoulders. The air was still pretty awkward, though. “Keep your… Twitter open.”

My head was spinning wildly by the time I made it to Jack’s dorm.

~

“Don’t I look dreamy when I sleep?”

Attached was a rather interesting picture of a sleeping Ethan, although he didn’t exactly look asleep. His head was shoved into a pillow, and his eyes were half open. It was a little shocking, to say the least.

“Hermoso,” I replied with some heart eyes. Then I sent, “When do you come back? I miss your dumb face.”

“Later tonight. I miss your dumb stupid face too.”

“You missed the first day of the semester! D:”

“I know lol luckily my classes start tomorrow! And I can see you tomorrow too :D”

“Excited ♥”

________

next chapter

[dead-leonard]

Diaboli Dei Part One

So, I’ve never really done this before, but I feel like it’d be okay to post.

This is sort of a self-insert fanfic involving the Chocobros, that I’ve been sort of dabbling with for the last week or so to help me distract myself from some things that aren’t good to focus on. I figured posting it as I wrote it would give me that final feeling of completion, like when each part is posted whatever I was feeling during the time I wrote it would be left there. I am not a writer, so this is probably not to the level of some other things you can find, but as I said this is in part for me.

Let’s get onto the story I guess, as I said it’s a self-insert, but I use (Y/n) as a replacement for a name because I figured it would be nice to be a little inclusive to whoever reads this; though I am writing from my perspective it will be very limited as I am a cis-gender, hetero female. Maybe if this gets some traction I’ll try to write some things from different perspectives to try to make it up to you, I really hate that I can’t be more inclusive but I’m just not at the level of writing ability that I feel would do anyone justice... anyways, please enjoy!

First day of the second semester of my freshman year of college, what a great day.

Honestly it was refreshing to be back with my friends, my parents were too much for me after a while. I understood that they missed me, but since my hometown is only thirty minutes away from the university it was ridiculous how they treated me like they hadn’t seen me in years.

But it was nice to be around the people who I grew to love as a family. Well, kind of…

As soon as I got into the building where my first class was to be held, I was greeted with a massive hug from my friend Jae.

“You’re so cute!” she cooed. Heat built up in my face and in my chest. I was not cute, and I made it known, only to receive more of the same comments.

“I will fight you, I swear!” Perhaps it was the fact that I was shorter than most of them, maybe it was because I was the youngest of the them, but I was the “cute one” of my friend group and it pissed the hell out of me. My friend Jae was the worst of them, pinching my cheeks with her soft hands. She was lucky she was my favorite of the group.

“Oh, you just kill me you’re so small.” I rolled my eyes; I just wanted to get into class. It was the first day back from winter break and I was just wanting to learn some Japanese.

I was lucky enough to be able to schedule class with so many of my friends: Jae, Brandon, and Lee from my friend group in my dorm and a couple of people from my class from the fall semester were in my new class.

“What’s up (y/n)-san?” an old classmate greeted. “How was break?”

I waved back at them, my smile widening into a grin.

“Ah, it wasn’t too bad! How was yours? Are you ready for this new class?”

Lots of small talk happened as we waited outside our classroom for the other class to clear out. It was nice to catch up.

My name is unimportant, in high school I was often called “tomato” or by my last name. In college I am often referred to as “kid”. I was eighteen years old and a freshman in college, my friends in my class are all twenty and sophomores, so I was “kid” to, them.

“Hey, sensei is here,” Brandon interrupted. “Let’s go!” I got up from the comfy bench I was sitting on and grabbed my bag. Time for a new semester to begin.

Class itself was fine, but introducing myself to my new class could have gone much better. I’d like to think the years I spent in speech and drama club would increase my self-esteem and public speaking skills, but regardless of how much effort I put forth I always found myself shaking a bit and stuttering just a small amount. Anxiety I guess, there’s no other explanation for it since my other friends seemed to be perfectly happy and not nervous at all.

“Why do you always look like you’re going to die when you give your self-intro kid?” Brandon asked.

“Uh, I dunno… I guess I’m just I’m just super paranoid about what people will think of me?” I shrugged, it was a constant enough thing that I just didn’t bother caring about that anymore. If I freak out I freak out, there’s no changing that.

“So… Lunch time?” I suggested as my stomach growled. “I totally had time for breakfast this morning, but I skipped it anyways. Food can’t beat getting to class an hour and a half early, right?”

“Uh, dude what the fuck?” Jae rolled her eyes.

“Uh… I just wanted to make sure I had the right classroom and I wasn’t late and I just wanted to make sure you guys were here and—“

“Kid, we get it. Anxiety.” I gave a weak grin; my friends understood me.

It’s not like I have a severe anxiety that’s debilitating, it’s just more of a daily inconvenience. Which I mean is an issue since if it affects your life in any way and makes it more difficult it technically could be classified as maybe a mild anxiety disorder in the DSM or something. Who cares, it’s me and not someone else. Perhaps I should be more concerned about my mental health, but it’s not like anyone else cares about it anyways. You can tell I’m bitter, right?

We step outside into the cold January air, the wind bites at my face and my exposed ankles. It was a good seven minute walk to the dining hall, and I wasn’t sure I was even going to make it. But with a push from my friends to stop walking so slow, we made it and I breathed a sigh of relief to signify that I was pleased, because everyone had to know. Everyone.

Once in line for food, I quickly grabbed a salad and then rushed to find Jae so I could follow her through the other lines; I didn’t want to get left behind and abandoned when everyone went to find a seat. It was just something I had to do. I followed my friend like the lost puppy I was past the utensils and drinks to a table and set my stuff down. Now that I was certain of where we were sitting I went back to get the things I had forgotten before.

“Lemonade, lemonade, I love lemonade!” I sang to myself as I filled my glass, hoping that today it wouldn’t taste like glorified water. “Come on baby, give me the good stuff!”

“I wonder if you like lemonade?” A new voice chimed from behind me. STRANGER. I froze up and turned around.

“Haha, yeah…” If I was in an anime I would have had a sweat drop the size of the moon on my forehead.

“Err, uh sorry—my names, uh, Alan. I’m new here.” I could tell he was just as awkward as me as his voice seemed forced and monotone.

But he was really freaking attractive. Blonde hair that was styled up and striking blue eyes.

“Ah, like a transfer student?”

“Yeah… I came here with a couple of friends, but they ditched me…”

He was looking for companionship. Cute boy was hinting that he wanted to sit with me. Holy crap.

“Oh! My friends and I definitely have an open seat, you should come sit with us!”

“Really?” The look of hope on his face murdered me, I was surprised I didn’t lose what little composition I had. “That sounds really nice!”

Score! Well, it would have been if I wasn’t so awkward…

We sat down at the table and I introduced him, allowing him to tell us more about himself. I was quiet most of the time, focused mostly on listening. Brandon and Jae talked with him the most, as they were the most social of the four of us, but Lee put in her two cents every so often.

Alan really enjoyed talking, and he seemed to get comfortable with the group right away losing whatever awkwardness that was within him before.

“So, you want to get into photo journalism? That sounds really cool!” Brandon remarks.

“Yeah, I think it’ll give me a chance to travel the world and visit cool places. What are you guys studying?”

“I’m majoring in Japanese and International Studies,” Brandon begins.

“I have no freaking clue,” Jae adds.

“Business.” Lee was always so to the point, she was so freaking cool. I was snapped out of my listening daze when I realized that everyone was looking at me.

“Oh, uh… I’m studying psychology and international relations, and I’m probably going to try to get a minor in Japanese since I’ve spent four years of my life invested in it already…”

“Jeez you’ve got a lot on your plate, don’t you?” Alan chuckled. It was really cute, dammit.

“I guess,” I shrug. “I’m not living properly unless I’m suffering.”

“(Y/n), no, stop.” Jae rolled her eyes.

“B-but… the darkness, it penetrates my soul.” I gasped dramatically, the back of my hand resting on my forehead. Being overdramatic was fun, and I wasn’t going to stop any time soon. I grinned when I got another eye roll and turned to Alan.

“Er, welcome to our friend group?”

The smile he had on his face only got bigger, and his blue eyes became soft pools.

“Yeah! We should add him on Kakao!” Brandon suggested. That would mark him as an official friend.

“Uh… what’s that?”

“A messaging app,” Jae explained. “We use it for group chats and stuff.”

Once he had the app, it was done. We added him to the chat and everything was golden.

“We live in Marx Hall, the one out far from campus.”

“Oh, I live here in Lennon Hall.”

“Party dorm,” I comment. “With an underground tunnel to the honor dorm…”

We talk more about the dorms before we are interrupted by three guys. Very attractive guys. It was my lucky day apparently. But not really as I barely spoke.

“So, I see you’ve made some new friends, haven’t you?” a British voice piped up from the trio. There was something very elegant about how he stood, proper poster and everything.

“Oh, uh, hi guys.”

The more I looked at the group, the more a sinking feeling arose in my stomach. Their faces were familiar.

The others in my group introduced themselves (and me) and eventually fell into conversation with the new comers. Somehow they came upon the topic of who was in honors (which was a sore topic for me), as Idris (the one with the British accent and glasses) and Nathan (pale, black-haired, emo looking kid) were in it.

“Hey, kiddo, you’re in honors right?” Lee asked, as she genuinely didn’t know.

“Er, no… let’s just say even though I qualify I’d rather not waste my time with arbitrary measures of one’s worth…” I sighed.

“She’s just really salty her GPA was too low for the first semester.” Brandon explained.

“Ah, shove it. I got a freaking 32 on the ACT dammit, it shouldn’t matter if I had a 3.3 GPA! Point 5 too low my ass.”

It’s a very sensitive topic. I had fantastic test scores all of high school. I could have been top of my class… if my work ethic matched what I could actually do. I hated school with a burning passion, they way it pitted me against my friends. It got really bad junior year when my friends began to compare GPA and class rank; I already had an issue with doing homework and keeping my grades above a B at the time. My friends were always amazed by my test scores, yet I was always berated by them because of how disinterested I was in school. I was there to learn, but they weren’t teaching me anything in the homework, and I could have been so much better off in a different environment. I know excuses are pointless, especially now, but the American school system had never once been my friend.

“So, what’s your name?” Someone finally cared to ask me. I replied quickly and gave a small smile. I looked at the third member of the new group as he was sending funny looks towards Alan. He was big, and muscular, and… he had a mullet. A flipping mullet.

“What’s a pretty thing like you doing in a place like this?” the big guy asked. I assumed he was talking to Jae who sat on my left, but she was occupied talking with Brandon, so I answered for her?

“Uh, Jae’s from South Korea, she’s an international student here.”

“She’s cute an all, but I was referring to you, beautiful.” He gave me a smirk and a wink and suddenly I was broken.

“Uhhhhh…” I dragged out, unsure of how to respond. No one had ever hit on me before. I looked down to my plate of food and out of the corner of my eyes I could see Alan shoot him a dirty look before looking at me.

“Sorry about him,” an apology sprung from Nathan. “He’s a flirt.”

“Er, it’s fine… I just don’t know how to handle compliments well. Uh, thanks I guess? I’m here because it’s cheap thanks to in-state tuition. I only live like thirty minutes away.”

“Same,” Brandon added. “Though I live in the town that’s basically attached.” From there Brandon took over that conversation and I was once again alone with my thoughts. Alan was too however, eye pointed down to his phone, scrolling through an ambiguous chat. Following his lead I got out mine too.

It had already been two hours since we got out of Japanese class. We had been sitting in the dining all for TWO HOURS. I gave an exhausted sigh.

“What’s up?” Alan turned his head to me. “Something wrong?”

“I missed my nap time… now I am going to die…”

“When’s your next class?”

“In like thirty min—ah shit I need to go…” I stood up suddenly.

My friends looked at me alarmed.

“I have thirty minutes. I am late.” I announce, grabbing all of dishes.

“Dude, we are in the same class I don’t—“ I cut Jae off.

“I have to be early. I have to be at least thirty minutes early to class in case something goes wrong.”

And with that I rushed off to put my dishes away and leave, hearing the faint sound of an exasperated Brandon saying “that’s normal for her.”

So uh, thank you for reading this part! As you can probably tell, I am leaning towards making this a PromptoxOC/Reader fic, as he is the love of my life. Let me know what you think of it, and don’t be afraid to shoot me an ask if you find anything that really bugs you; I don’t really have time to edit these as much as I’d like now that I am starting school again!