#honestly im sure he only wanted brother to talk to him so he could try to manipulate him and abuse EVERYONE

[hwaslayer]

vivrant thing (jwy) | four.

—SPOTIFY PLAYLIST / SERIES MASTERLIST

—SUMMARY: after getting into a little accident, wooyoung decides to do his sister a favor by pretending to be your date at the company summer party. as soon as the night ends, wooyoung would go back to his usual routine of hanging out with his boys, keeping his distance from committed relationships and being a typical brother to jiwoo. except, the favor comes with more than what wooyoung expects and he finds you occupying his mind more than usual. 

—PAIRING: jung wooyoung x f. reader

—GENRE: (18+ - minors dni) bestfriend’s brother au | fluff, angst, smut

—WORD COUNT: 6.2k

—CHAPTER CONTENT / WARNINGS: cussing, mature language/sexually implied content, angst angst angst, accusations are being thrown, jiwoo is mean, wooyoung is angry, hongjoong tryna play peacemaker, oc is sad, crying, its kinda a mess??, some insecurities coming to surface, mentions of past relationships and wooyoung's fuckboy history

One thing you also don't expect at Jiwoo's family lunch is how incredibly tense and awkward you and Wooyoung are. Maybe you need to wake up a little more and sit with your reality, but you surely hate the feeling it brings. It's almost obvious how you both freeze at the sight of each other, the both of you trying your hardest to keep it together but avoid eye contact.

Wooyoung's first mistake was keeping you [somewhat] at a distance after the party. Truthfully, he was scared as he sorted through his thoughts— not really sure how to make sense of any of it. Even though, he knew deep down that he did have newfound feelings for you and it wasn't something he could ignore. It wasn't like anything he's felt before, and he knew it'd only grow despite him trying to push it aside to buy him more time.

Wooyoung's second mistake was leaving you that morning without saying much afterwards. Leaving you and him in limbo. Though, this was the one core moment when he could honestly and truthfully say his feelings grew for you. He was locked in, and there was no going back. He should've told you right then and there instead of making you feel like one of them.

One of his hookups, his tap-n-dash's, his toot-it-n-boot-it's. 

You were not that. He meant every word he said to you that night, and he should've fucking told you. Now, he's stuck with not knowing how to do it after some time has passed.

—FLASHBACK

Wooyoung's eyes flutter open to the sun beaming into your studio, causing him to squint and shift a bit in his position. He tries not move too much when he realizes your back is pressed against him, and he's got an arm around you. Luckily, the movements don't wake you and Wooyoung can't help but smile to himself at how tired you seem to be. He snuggles against you for a few more minutes, giving you tiny kisses on your shoulder, the back of your head. His hand gives your side a soft squeeze, and he finds that this is how he'd like to wake up every morning.

With you, in particular.

But as equally as the thought is exciting, it is also frightening. Because every moment seems to make this more and more real and he's not sure how to act. So, he freezes. Those 'few more minutes' are suddenly over, and he's slipping himself out of your bed gently. He needs time to figure out what to say and how to say it without sounding like an idiot. He slips into his clothes and finds a stack of post-its nearby, scribbling a quick note to leave on your nighstand to at least let you know he's thinking about you. He is, he truly is. He doesn't wanna rip himself off you, but he has to cause he needs time—

morning cute stuff! text me when you wake up. had to run off cause im shy and don't want you to see my morning face lol jk need to meet up with san for a workout. talk to you later! hope you slept well :)

Which, isn't entirely a lie. He does need to meet San for a workout, it's just hours later.

He darts out anyway, giving your door one last look before he heads to his car and begins his journey home. When you wake about 15 minutes after he leaves, your heart drops when you realize Wooyoung isn't behind you anymore. You were giving him the benefit of the doubt, thinking he might be locked away in the bathroom.

But, nothing.

His clothes are gone.

Wooyoung is gone.

And although the note leaves a small smile on your face, you can't ignore the way your chest tightens knowing he left in somewhat of a hurry; at least, before you could wake up. Was it because this was always how Wooyoung was? Did he really mean everything he said last night?

Or were you just like them?

The thoughts don't make it any easier on you, and you've swallowed the lump in your throat in an attempt to push the tears back. You can't help but feel hurt despite knowing how Wooyoung was. You weren't any different, and you shouldn't have relied on that. You shouldn't have gotten so comfortable, you shouldn't have opened up to him the way you did.

You were a favor to Wooyoung, nothing more, nothing less.

jiwoo: goodmorning to my baby!!!

jiwoo: sorry i didnt text you last night after dinner, we can catch up later!

jiwoo: come with me to my family lunch tomorrow? we can have a girls day after since i feel like its been so long

jiwoo: we can get our nails done and go shopping then just cry over our favorite movies!!

Then, the reality hits you even more. You're gonna have to tell Jiwoo what happened because even if you try to hide it, you're terrible at lying and Jiwoo will catch on eventually. She'll know something has changed, she'll know something has hurt you.

And you're not ready to tell her it's her own brother.

you: okay 😌 i'm down for lunch and a girls day tomorrow. i need it.

jiwoo: okay, yay! 💕 me too!! i'll pick you up around 11:30 tomorrow.

you: sounds good.

—END

"The most important people have arrived! Sorry to worry you guys. It was kinda traffic." Jiwoo says, greeting her family and San.

"No one asked." Wooyoung glares at her before making a face while she hugs him tightly. "Get off." He whines when she doesn't pry her arms around her brother right away, making her giggle mischievously. When she finally lets go and moves onto San, Wooyoung shifts his attention to you.

"Hey Y/N." He says with a pursed smile, bringing you in for a one-armed hug that feels forced and too stiff.

"Hi." You softly respond, avoiding all eye contact. It sucks, it sucks, it sucks. You didn't end up texting him that morning. As much as you wanted to, you didn't wanna look sad and desperate even though you longed for Wooyoung's company. You spent time with your grandpa to get your mind off of it, but it was difficult. He didn't take the chance to text you either, so that told you more than you needed to know.

Sometimes silence can be the most deafening.

You scurry along to say hello to San before greeting their parents, back to hiding behind Jiwoo as you all wait to be seated.

"Where's Hongjoong?"

"Not here because it's a girls day after this." Jiwoo links her arm with yours as she follows her parents into the restaurant when they're called, Wooyoung and San following behind.

"Girls day? What are you ladies doing afterwards?" Their father asks as all of you settle at a round table. You fall in between Wooyoung and Jiwoo, of course, and you almost wanna tell his sister to switch just for your own sake.

But, you don't. You suck it up. 

You sit. He sits.

It's quiet.

Wooyoung grabs chopsticks from the center container and passes them out to his parents, San, then you and Jiwoo. He doesn't really say anything else, he can't really look at you just like you can't with him.

And all of this is so awkward for no reason.

Well, there are reasons, but it doesn't have to be this way and Wooyoung is constantly calling himself dumb for creating this divide, this distance. For making you feel this way. All he wants to do is hug you, kiss you a few times, hold your hand. Be all cute with you.

He's an idiot.

"Gonna get our nails done and go shop."

"I'm surprised Yeosang didn't come." Wooyoung pauses as he's skimming through the dim sum menu, hoping you don't catch the way his jaw slightly clenches. How he almost rolls his eyes at the sound of his name. He doesn't have a reason to dislike Yeosang at all, but he finds himself getting irked knowing that Yeosang has feelings for you. He shouldn't, though. He can't claim you like that, especially if he's being dumb and not knowing how to be upfront about his feelings properly.

"Oh, no. That probably won't happen for awhile." Jiwoo says.

"Aw, why not? Is he just busy nowadays?"

"Busy sulking." Jiwoo mutters playfully. "Didn't snag the girl of his dreams." She teases you and you roll your eyes.

"Stop that."

"He'll live." Wooyoung adds nonchalantly while him and San check off items on the list, and Jiwoo doesn't even bat an eye at the comment.

"What happened?" San whispers to Wooyoung and he furrows his brows at him. "Did Yeosang ask Y/N out or something?" But before Wooyoung can respond, his mom cuts in with the same question—

"Aw, no! Did he ask you out?" At this point, the waitress brings water and a kettle full of hot barley tea.

"Yeah, but we just decided to stay friends." You look at her so innocently Wooyoung can't fucking take it. Jesus Christ. Kinda reminds him of the other night.

"We, more like you." Jiwoo teases and you glare at her.

"Well, she was honest and I'm sure he appreciated it." Their father chimes in. "You don't ever wanna force anything, that's the number one rule." 

"If he truly values you and respects you as one of his good friends, he'll understand and won't treat you differently from before." Their mom adds. 

"That'll be awkward for them." San says lowly to Wooyoung just as he hands the checklist off to the waitress in passing.

"He's a grown ass man, he'll get over it. You win some, you lose some." San furrows his brows at Wooyoung's reaction. He truly can't help but notice that his bestfriend has been on edge ever since you and Jiwoo came. He's not sure he's ever seen Wooyoung so awkward and.. weird. And he knows you're pretty shy, but you're also acting very weird and.. avoidant?

"I guess so." Is all San says.

"Is there someone else?" Wooyoung almost chokes on his water. The heat instantly rises to your cheeks and you feel somewhat suffocated from the question alone. "Jesus, Wooyoung. I told you to drink slowly." Their mom adds. 

"Mother chismosa. All up in her business." Jiwoo laughs at Wooyoung's response.

"I'm just wondering! She's like my baby, too." She furrows her brows at her son before returning to you with a smile on her face. 

"Oh, um. No. There's no one else." You pause, missing the way Wooyoung is looking at you through his peripherals. "Just thought we're better off that way."

"I see. Well, you know Y/N, the right person will come in time. Don't rush it."

"Sometimes, I wish Wooyoung could find a nice girl like you." His dad chimes in. "He is a pain in the ass, though."

"I'm sorry, I'm confused. Did we gather around over some dim sum just to get on my ass? Did I miss the agenda?" Jiwoo and San snicker.

"Stop it, you're making him embarrassed." Their mom shifts her attention back to you. "Y/N, anyway. How's Papa been?" Jiwoo pours you more tea to drink.

"He's been okay. I spent the day with him yesterday. He hasn't been feeling the greatest, though."

"Oh? Is he sick?" You shrug.

"He seemed to be fine yesterday. He just says he's more tired lately, been feeling this on-and-off dull pain in his lower back. I told him we should go to the hospital, but he doesn't think it's a big deal. He thinks he just needs to keep exercising and stretching properly."

"I see. Otherwise he's been okay?"

"Mhm." You give their parents a small, toothless smile, tugging your turtleneck sweater up when you feel everyone's eyes on you for a second. "He's the same." Underneath the material are the little marks Wooyoung left, and they've barely started to fade away.

"That's good to hear. Please bring him by soon, we'd love to see him again." You nod.

"Girl, aren't you hot wearing that turtleneck?" Jiwoo tugs on the material and you kinda shimmy away from her grip.

"No, I'm okay."

"Is it just me then? Am I getting hot flashes already?" Her mom clicks her teeth and tells her to stop being so dramatic. At this point, the food is rolled in and placed on the table like a game of tetris. Everyone automatically digs in, passing food along until everyone's satisfied with their first serving. Usually by now, Wooyoung has at least teased you one way or another, cracked a joke or poked fun at you. That's how he typically is with you. Today, you're seeing a very different side of him, and you're not sure what you did wrong.

When you finish your food, you try to reach over for another piece of dimsum but it's a little further out than expected. Suddenly, Wooyoung grabs a few pieces and places it on your plate— still not making any eye contact with you.

He's so confusing.

You're not sure if you want it to be like this.

You quickly decide that you don't. You don't want to be this way with someone, you don't want someone to ever be unsure of you. You don't want someone to make you feel the slightest bit of doubt. Which, is crazy to think about. Because Yeosang could've been that person, but you were too busy wanting Wooyoung. You were too busy having feelings for Wooyoung, and even though you still feel guilty about the whole thing with Yeo, there was no way you could've forced yourself to feel a certain way.

Wishful thinking, perhaps?

At least, now you know, and you'll never allow yourself to do that shit ever again.

You continue to eat and engage in small conversation with Jiwoo and her parents, Wooyoung and San mostly in their own world together off to the side. He was seemed to be fine with San, and you don't know if you made it worse for you. You tried to push it to the back of your head, trying to tell yourself that you shouldn't feel this way. That you didn't need to be so hung up over Wooyoung. That you didn't do anything wrong.

Still hurts, though. You wonder if he'll ever talk to you again or bring it up.

When lunch is over, their parents pay for the bill and leave a hefty tip, passing out the little candies that were brought over with the receipt. Jiwoo quickly shuffles you away, thanking her parents for lunch before taking you down the street to a popular nail shop for your appointments. 

The nail shop is as busy as it gets on a Sunday, but you don't wait long before you and Jiwoo are seated at the spa chairs for the pedicures. Jiwoo starts to tell you about how her and Hongjoong are going on a last minute trip to Japan and that you were welcome to come along if you wanted. You've gone on little trips with Jiwoo and Hongjoong before, and they've never made you feel like a third wheel. But, you wonder when you'd get to go on trips with your own special someone, your person.

Would this change things in the future? When Jiwoo and her family invite you on their trips?

Would this change everything?

It makes you feel like you really should've thought about your decisions before letting things escalate that night. Everything feels like a hard ass lesson, and you hate it. Everything is reminding you of your recklessness, of how you relied so much on the way Wooyoung treated you at the party. You can't say you regret it though, but it's starting to feel like a mistake.

When you politely decline and tell her to have fun with her boyfriend, another tech comes to work on your hands, beginning your gel manicure while the other tech continues with your pedicure.

"Has Yeosang texted you?" You shake your head.

"No." You sigh. "We probably won't be the same for a bit. He did say he needed time."

"I'm sorry." Jiwoo looks at you with a small pout. "He'll be okay, though. I know he cares about you regardless."

"And I care about him, too. I just want us to be okay."

"Are you sure you don't wanna come with us? Leave this place for a few days. Work won't care if we're both off last minute, we have enough team members to cover." You chuckle.

"I'm good. Promise."

"What do you wanna do after? Should we shop, then pick up some takeout so we can watch our movies?"

"Sure. I do need to buy some new clothes. I haven't spoiled myself in a bit." She gasps dramatically.

"Same."

"You went shopping when we bought our dresses."

"And that was awhile ago." She shrugs. "I'm on the lookout for this thick zip-up jacket. My brother has one and I keep taking it from him. He keeps getting mad." You don't respond. "I hate to say it, but Wooyoung has taste. Sometimes."

"Hm." You hum.

"Did you notice Wooyoung being all quiet today? It's not like him."

"I guess so."

"Well, he was quieter than usual. It's so unlike him."

"Why don't you ask?"

"Because my brother won't say a thing. I could tell him all my problems, but he won't tell me most of his. You know this. I dunno if it's some kinda façade or front to maintain this strong, older brother image. I know things bother him, but I also know a lot of things don't. It's difficult to read him." Ain't that so, you think. He is terribly hard to read.

"Do you think it's over a girl?" You awkwardly ask, looking to see what her reaction is.

"Wooyoung sulking over a girl? I doubt it. I haven't seen him do that since him and his exes broke up, and that was years ago. I'm convinced stuff like this isn't worth it to Wooyoung anymore. I haven't seen him be different around anyone."

"Oh." 

"Yeah, well. Whatever. I'm sure he'll get over it."

"Yeah, I think so." You respond softly, which Jiwoo kinda catches on. She sees how quiet you've gotten and how you've managed to hide back in your shell— you probably tried not to make it so obvious, but as your bestfriend, it's easy to pick up on your switches, too.

It is a little odd, but she won't bother. She just wants to have a good girls day with you.

After the nail appointment, the both of you make your way down to the biggest mall in town to shop, especially for her trip. You find a few new outfits, one you can't wait to wear out and flaunt. Wooyoung briefly comes to mind, but you shake it off and correct yourself— because no, you're excited to wear and flaunt the new outfits for yourself. 

No one else.

You were genuinely happy for the first time today. You felt good about yourself.

Until tonight comes, and all of that goes out the window rather quickly.

When you get back to Jiwoo's apartment, the both of you are pretty exhausted from the long day being out and about. It's a little past 6pm when you drag yourselves in. You take a quick shower and wind down for the evening, changing into comfier clothes that you've packed in case you wanted to spend the night at Jiwoo's. You lay out the food on the living room coffee table while Jiwoo takes her shower. You've already decided on a lineup of movies tonight: Brown Sugar, The Wood, Love and Basketball. As you wait for Jiwoo to be finished, you scroll through your phone to see if there's been any new updates, new texts.

Nothing.

Though, you've noticed Wooyoung has posted on his Instagram story. You're not usually one to peep, but you are curious; you can't help yourself. For the most part, they're just random photos of the city, San. There are two photos that do catch your eye and you're not sure if Wooyoung meant to post this for a particular reason or just cause. The first photo that catches your eye is an old vintage poster of Spirited Away. It's alongside other vintage Studio Ghibli posters, but he posted this one in particular. The second photo is of the view. You remember that Wooyoung goes there to clear his mind. You wonder if San tagged along.

"What a day!" Jiwoo comes out of the bathroom, hair still damp. She rushes over and plops next to you on the floor in front of the coffee table and TV, sending Hongjoong a quick text. "Ready, babe?"

"Mhm." You nod, the both of you popping your lids to your bowls open as the movie begins. "Thank you for today."

"Of course, are you kidding?! I love a good girls day with my bestfriend." She smiles at you, digging into her food. You swallow the lump in your throat when the truth settles in the pit of your stomach, almost making you lose your appetite completely. She gives your arm a good squeeze. She's so happy— you can't believe you're gonna be the reason why all of that changes. You needed to be honest with her, if not yourself. 

Because what happened, happened. There was no going back to change it.

You give it a good hour or so, making sure the both of you have finished your food and are satisfied while you sit in your thoughts and determine it's probably a good time to talk to Jiwoo about everything. The night has settled, the climax of the movie has passed. You don't wanna wait too long, and you feel like you shouldn't; somehow hoping it'll lessen the damage, lessen the blow.

"Jiwoo." You poke her arm softly.

"Yeah?"

"Can we talk?"

"Sure, of course." She looks at you with concern, pausing the movie. "What's up, babe?"

"You know the other night, when I had dinner with Yeosang?"

"Mhm."

"There were other things I didn't get around to telling you."

"Did something else happen with him?" You look at her and you already feel the impending breakdown ready to take over in about 0.5 seconds.

"N-no. Not Yeosang." You physically shrink as you try to gain the courage to continue on.

"Huh?" Silence. "What is it, Y/N? What're you hiding from me?"

"I-I—" You feel tears welling up in your eyes. "Your brother. I meant to text you while I was drinking at the convenience store, but I accidentally texted your brother. He ended up swinging by and he walked me back home. A-and—" You pause, tears now slowly streaming down your cheeks and they seem to keep coming even with you constantly wiping them away.

"And, what?" Quite frankly, she knows where this is going. Jiwoo just doesn't wanna believe it. But, she has no choice when you hit her with the:

"We hung out for awhile, and things went further."

"Further as in?" You start to cry a little more. "Further as in.. what, Y/N?"

"Things just escalated so quickly, I'm—"

"Escalated? Did you sleep with my brother?" She's in utter disbelief and her tone says it all. She doesn't even need to hear a verbal response from you because your face completely gives it away.

"Jiwoo, I'm sorry. Things just happened and—"

"My brother? Out of all people? Was that why you were so quiet today?" More silence. "Y/N, what were you thinking?! He's no good for you! All he's gonna do is hurt you like he does with every girl that gets tangled up with him. He doesn't care, he's—" She stands as she keeps going, but you aren't hanging onto one word she's saying. You just wanna get this over with, you just wanna get away. You don't wanna hear what you already know. It's your fault; she told you so. You should've known.

"Jiwoo." You plead with your eyes, hoping she stops. It doesn't make anything better, and you feel like a child getting scolded.

"What did he say to you?" She pauses. "What did he say to you? Did he say some sweet shit to get into your pants or what? Were you really that naive?"

"Jiwoo, enough. Please." You cry. "He didn't have to say anything to me, things just happened and it wasn't just Wooyoung. I played a part in this, too." You're not really sure why you're explaining it the way that you are, but you feel as if you have no choice at this point.

"Yeah." She says, almost mockingly. "So, what now? Has he even talked to you after that?" You shake your head pathetically and your tears fall even more. "Exactly, I thought so. Because that's who he is, Y/N. I thought you knew that! He's not gonna change. Now you're here crying over him like the rest of them usually do!" You cry harder, feeling like you're about to be shoved in a corner for timeout. "You can't tell me you actually have feelings for him." She scoffs.

"I'm sorry." Is all you say. What you're sorry for, you're not sure. For yourself? For how things quickly unfolded? For having feelings for her brother?

All of the above?

"Did he even tell you he had feelings for you? Did he tell you anything before he ran off and got what he wanted from you?" You shake your head. "Unbelievable." She grabs her keys and her purse. "You should go."

"I'm sorry. I thought—"

"Please, Y/N. I need some time to process this."

"Where are you going?"

"To my brother's. Quite frankly, I can't look at the both of you right now, but I need to talk to him." You shake your head.

"It's not gonna change anything."

"It's not, but he also deserves to hear it since you're here crying in my living room about it." She furrows her brows in deep disappointment before giving you one last look. "Thought you knew better than that." She turns on her heel and leaves you in her living room. You cry, and you cry. You cry that you don't even know what you're crying over, what you're feeling hurt over.

You cry because one bestfriend is mad at you, and the other bestfriend needs his time away from you.

You cry because you have feelings for Wooyoung.

You cry because you feel so naive and stupid for admitting it, for going along with everything.

Were you wrong for feeling the way you do over him?

You quietly clean up and gather your things, sadly throwing the duffle bag over your shoulder as you lock her door from the inside and walk out. Your head hangs low when you start to walk to the nearest bus stop, taking the long way back home so that you can clear your mind and stop by Papa's apartment on the way over. Honestly, you don't blame Jiwoo for acting the way she did. You knew she was very protective of you, and you knew she was coming from a good place. You kinda just wish everything went down a little differently.

So, you continue quietly. Tears streaming down. Phone tucked away and on silent. Shutting down and ignoring the rest of the world like you always do when things go awry.

"Baby, don't you think you should just simmer down first before talking to your brother?" Hongjoong says over the bluetooth in her car.

"Simmer down for what? I can't believe he'd do that to her."

"Well, you don't really know if he actually had bad intentions. It does take two to tango. You ever think maybe, he's always had it for her and just never realized until he had to be her date? He probably needed the time. I don't think Wooyoung would mess around with Y/N like that."

"Kim Hongjoong. Aren't you supposed to be on my team right now?"

"I am, that's why I'm trying to tell you this is probably not a good idea."

"He was wrong, okay! She's naive, he knows that." She groans, causing Hongjoong to sigh.

"There were better ways to go about it, sure. I just don't think he's intentionally trying to hurt her like you think he is."

"I'll hang up in 5 seconds, Hongjoong." He clicks his teeth.

"Where is Y/N anyway? Thought you two were having a girls day."

"We were until she dropped all of this on me. She's probably on her way home."

"Why did you just leave her?"

"Because I'm angry and I can't deal right now."

"Then, go back home. You can yell at your brother any day, but you shouldn't leave her."

"I'll call you later. I'm at Wooyoung's."

"Jiwoo—" But before Hongjoong can say anything else, Jiwoo is ending the call and shutting off the car. She slams the driver's door and heads into the lobby, furiously pressing the elevator button to bring her up to the 6th floor. When she gets off and heads to his door, she repeatedly knocks until she hears shuffling on the other end.

"What the fuck is wrong with you!" Jiwoo storms into Wooyoung's apartment as soon as he swings the door open. He knew this would happen at some point— he just didn't think it'd be tonight, exactly.

"You really don't have to yell—"

"My bestfriend!? Why would you sleep with her! She's not one of your fucking girls to toy around with, Wooyoung!" He's actually appalled at the way Jiwoo is coming at him right now. Most of the time, he can handle her. Today is just one of those days where he can't, and he feels himself losing it a lot quicker due to the sensitivity of the subject. He hates how Jiwoo looks at him this way, and he hates how she's so quick to badmouth him, especially when it comes to you.

What if he truly, truly cared about you?

"No one said she was!" Wooyoung matches her tone and San is awkwardly sitting off to the side, unsure of what to do. He didn't think he'd ever hear it this way, let alone didn't think Wooyoung would ever sleep with his sister's bestfriend. It wasn't a secret that Wooyoung thought you were cute, attractive. He just never crossed those lines because he didn't think he should, especially with the way he had tendencies to be a dick.

San is so unsure of how to take all of this.

Did Wooyoung just cave after the party? Did he plan for this to happen? How did he even get you to do all that with him?

"What else can I call it? Why would you take advantage of her—"

"Slow your fucking roll, Jiwoo. I never said I was just using Y/N for anything, nor do you have the right to assume that." Wooyoung says seriously. It's true, and he finds himself hurt at the wild accusations Jiwoo is spewing out. He wasn't always good, but he wasn't entirely bad. He's made some terrible decisions and acted poorly in certain situations, but he never failed to  learn from his mistakes and be the bigger person about it. He'd be honest, and in the end, he would never let his pride win just to get away with it.

"What am I supposed to think with your amazing track record?"

"I don't care if I made some mistakes or fucked around in the past, you don't get to say all that just because you're angry."

"All of a sudden you're good and pure when it comes to Y/N." She groans. "I swear to god, Wooyoung. The favor was supposed to be just a favor, not a window for you to add her to your roster—"

"Aye, stop while you're ahead." Wooyoung cuts her off. "You don't get to come into my space and yell at me for shit you know nothing about. Stop painting me like that, Jiwoo. I'm not this shitty person you like to think I am. For real. I don't appreciate it. You're spitting out all these crazy accusations when you have nothing but my past to refer to. I was never planning to 'put her on my roster' or treat her that way, I never meant to hurt her in any way. It's fucking wild you'd assume that."

"Then, why haven't you talked to her if you wanna claim this is different, Wooyoung?"

"Because I just need time to sort through my shit, okay! As much as I wanna talk to her, I don't know how and I'm trying to figure it out, that's all. Sorry. I'm not tryna mess this up more than I might've already done."

"You're unbelievable." Jiwoo glares at him. "Do you have feelings for her or not? It's a simple yes or no. Stop dragging it out so unnecessarily—"

"No. We're not doing this right now."

"Wooyoung!"

"I don't care! That's not for you to decide, so don't push it." He says sternly. "I'm not answering your question cause we're not talking about this right now, not when we're both angry. We're gonna go in circles like we always do and we're not gonna get anywhere. So no, I'm not saying anything to you, especially until you stop yelling and accusing me of things." He glares at her. "I sure as hell hope you didn't come at Y/N this way because she didn't do anything wrong. You don't get to talk to her like that either." He pauses. "Where is she?"

"I told her to go home."

"Oh, so you left her alone just to do this? The hell is wrong with you?"

"Can't I say the same shit about you? Leaving her that morning without saying a word." She scoffs while he bites his tongue, hoping she'd leave after getting this out of her system. "I thought so. You better fix this properly." Is all Jiwoo says before she turns on her heel and slams his door shut.

"And you should fix your attitude while you're at it!" Wooyoung yells. He groans loudly and plops onto the couch with a loud sigh. "Sorry." Is all he says to San, who is still dumbfounded over the argument that just went down.

"It's all good." Wooyoung is running a hand down his face before tossing his phone onto the table and resting his head back against the couch. As much as he loves to push his sister's buttons, he doesn't enjoy it when they fight. He doesn't like it when they're heated and angry at each other. He knows she can't help but protect you [rightfully so], but he hates the way she treats him like he has zero common sense. He wouldn't do that to you, especially out of all people. 

You would never be just another girl to him.

"So, what happened exactly?" Wooyoung lets out a breath.

"It was the other night, after she had dinner with Yeosang. She meant to text Jiwoo while she was drinking at the convenience store, but she accidentally texted me. I swung by to make sure she was okay, and things just escalated that night."

"That's why you two were weird around each other today."

"Yeah, but that's mainly my fault. I ran off when I shouldn't have. I didn't talk to her the way I wanted to because I froze. I haven't really felt like this in a long time and it scared me. It's a dumb excuse."

"Woo, are you sure this isn't just a phase or something?"

"A phase?" San shrugs. "You're not serious, right?"

"I don't know. I just have to ask. I feel like you've had moments when you thought you liked someone, but it wasn't like that."

"San." Wooyoung almost looks hurt when he turns to him. His expression says all.

"Hm?" Wooyoung shakes his head.

"It's not like that at all. I-I genuinely have feelings for Y/N. I really, really like her."

"Oh." San looks at him, a mixture of confusion and concern plastered on his face. "Oh, okay. So it is like that."

"Fuck." Wooyoung groans. "I fucked up. I should've just told her. Fuck!" He repeats, now pacing around his living room. San doesn't even respond because he's not sure how to. He watches as his bestfriend runs his hand through his hair, quickly texting away before making a call.

Wooyoung's third mistake is letting this linger. Now, everyone, including you and his sister, are continuing to paint him as this bad guy; a bad guy that he has a tendency to be, had a past history of being. But, with you, he's different. He needs you to know that. He should've done this differently.

He just needs to be honest, and he knows he can't put this off any longer. It's time.

Wooyoung feels the inner panic when he tries to call you a few times, but you don't answer. He sends a few texts asking where you're at. If you're safe. If he can come see you so he can talk to you because he really needs to.

wooyoung: y/n. i know you probably don't wanna talk to me right now, but i really wanna explain.

wooyoung: i'm so sorry y/n, i fucked up. can i come see you so we can talk about this properly?

wooyoung: at least let me know if you're okay and safe if you don't wanna talk tonight.

And you see the missed calls and texts from Wooyoung. But, they're overshadowed by the missed call notifications from Papa. You barely get a chance to let it marinate, especially when you approach his apartment and all you're welcomed with is chaos.

Bright lights. 

"Papa?" You walk closer to his apartment, seeing the paramedics coming out with your grandfather on a stretcher. "Papa!" You cry, pushing your way through them to get a good look at your grandpa. He's conscious, barely clinging onto it, though. He gives you a small smile as you hold his hand and climb into the truck, sitting right by his side. He called because he needed you, and you weren't there. You weren't there because you were too busy justifying your actions to Jiwoo, you weren't there because you were too busy trying to find out how to tell her you had feelings for her brother.

You weren't there, and he's here.

Wooyoung is the last thing on your mind right now.

—TAGLIST: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @heyitsmetonid @ldysmfrst @intaksfav @wooyoungsbrat @hyukssunflower @yunhoswrldddd @gotthicbish @thespiffynerd @jaytheatiny @yoonrixx @aurorajoye @i-love-ateez

[sweetheartsaku]

—HAIKYU!! various ; how deep is your love?

a/n ; [gn!reader] kinda fem implied in kawa's and kuroo's 😓 do yall like the new layout?? c: suggestive if you squint extremely hard in kuroo's .. i honestly dont know if im writing this timeskip or pre timeskip its 3am 😣

— characters : oikawa, osamu, tsukishima, hinata, sakusa, kuroo

part 2 ! ♡ akaashi, kenma, kita, semi, kageyama, suna

jade vine !

tooru oikawa ; SWEET / I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO DANCE - tyler the creator, brent faiyaz, fana huez

has 'i love you' wars and he MUST win or he will tackle you (affectionate)

takes the BEST candid photos of you and puts so much love into the following insta post. has you as his wallpaper too (please match with him) (he'd also have a highlight just w pics of you😞)

please NEVER do that 'wipe their kiss off' trend because he will actually not talk to you for DAYS and gets all sulky until you apologize. (he will get all cocky all over again)

core memory from his teamates. bae was explaining to his teamates about new volley nerd talk blablabla and they notice his nails painted in a faint pink (for a fun date night, thinking no one will notice)

issei BURSTS out laughing and instantly points it out. now seijoh4 NEVER lets him live it down

always the first person to notice when you use a new shampoo or perfume.

cuddling, (you being the little spoon╰(*´︶`*)╯♡) you can feel his breath hitch when his lips reach your neck

before you could ask why he's stopped inching closer he's already manages to whisper out, "did you start using a new shampoo?" yes. yes you have

do his skincare with him please ! he loves it. he loves when he places you on the bathroom counter and you wrap your legs around his waist, he loves when you're so gentle with the toner, he loves when you graze your delicate fingers over his beautiful long lashes, he loves when you make sure you don't cut him when snipping the face mask so it fits a little more snug, EVERYTHING. (he is sunoo coded)

osamu miya ; good looking - suki waterhouse

loves your tummy SO much. doesn't care about shape or form, he just likes the feeling that you're being fed. squish. or pat. he loves it. have i mentioned he loves your tummy?

when his dad leave the twins at home its always osamu at the stove, please keep atsumu in a 5 mile radius AWAY from the kitchen

SPOON FEEDS YOU. please i need him. on days you're too tired to move a muscle, days where you're too sick to open your eyes, be prepared to feel his hand on the back of your head and one below your chin ready to feed you!! once you've sat yourself up he feeds you so gently... osamu miya i need you

when you're really tired from work, he will send meals to your workplace. if you work at home and sees you barely able to keep an eye open, you will see his hand under a spoon of your favourite meal. he's not the best with it, but he's trying 🥹 he means it with all his heart and hearing you say the food is really warm in your stomach, his heart feels warm too (о´∀`о)

my mans is SNATCHED. slide your hands around his waist, poke it a little do WHATEVER. your hands have probably been on his waist more than his hands on yours.

i think his core is pretty well built. have we seen it in the anime or manga? maybe. but from what i've seen, his physique is very 😳 (a tad bit better than his brother's i fear)

cooking together!!! different recipes each date, basking in each other's presence. its always so fun and the results are always almost flawless!

at one-point y'all were making cupcakes, it was literally osamu baking them and you decorated it.

AND OBVIOUSLY the basic, he would routinely give you handmade onigiri, in different shapes, flavours and whatever you like ✨

kei tsukishima ; the only exception - paramore

kinda scowls at you when you put your hands under his shirt but secretly really loves it so when you slither your hands away he instantly places your hands back and make sure your hands STAY there. bonus points if you have warm body temperature. he likes the feeling of your warm hands on his slightly colder body.

his wardrobe has drastically evolved from muted tones to slightly lighter and vibrant clothing ever since you insisted on getting matching stuff!!

WILL say he is not a jewellery person but collects, keeps and takes care of all the little trinkets you give him DAILY. he has a little sticker on the edge of one of his books and a little moon sticker on the end piece of his sports glasses

he also defineitely has really thick curly blond lashes. you say they are one of his charming points but he gets all flustered. when you insist to put clear mascara on them, he doesn't really look like he has a problem with it 🥹

what could his ahh possibly be listening to with those headphones on so often (real)

sends you playlists at an insane hour that go for insane amounts of time. but i KNOW his taste is immaculate. every song always gives you goosebumps or makes your heart tighten

please do a spotify blend with him (he was gonna ask you, but you beat him to it)(he was shy)

oh AND the shared playlists actually are insane!! so much good music all at once?? crazy yall 😭😭 (wave to earth, cody fry, the smiths, daniel caesar, rex orange county)

shoyo hinata ; intro (end of the world) - ariana grande

honestly, out of all these men HINATA SHOYO is the BEST candidate for taking care of a person except himself. has no limits in his stamina, and will only listen to you when you ask him maybe its time for a break. does he overwork? not necessarily. does he work too hard? yes, in a positive way. please remind him to eat because he will forget sometimes

he will NEVER admit he likes being the little spoon LMAO he finds being vunerable in your arms a tad bit silly, and it bugs him. after a long week of practice games and insisting kageyama and yachi to practice with him the instant he falls on the bed, he finds himself melting into your touch. your voice gets a little more buttery and he loves it, falling asleep instantly

hes probably a hard sleeper too 😭 he wont wake up till he feels your cold hands on his face or the sunbeams from the curtain literally bleed into the sheets and steal its colour

PLEASE STROKE HIS HAIR. he loves it. he absolutely loves it. again, melts into your touch like ice-cream. his heart will feel tight and he has a lil' blush 🥹 whats even more priceless is his lips slightly agape after hes fallen asleep... how can you NOT love this man

one of the only boys on this list who will LET you put little pink bows or style his hair in braids and clips. (if you're imagining timeskip hinata, you have attempted to put a little bow around his bicep but you underestimated its size and it BROKE. gosh what an experience)

DANCES WITH YOU EVERYWHERE!!! omg i love him so much. doesn't care if you have two left feet, he just loves the feeling in his heart when he sees your smile as he spins you around. in the rain, in big empty rooms, in the kitchen, anywhere.

loves the idea of promise rings or little trinkets that ensure he gets to have you forever!!

kiyoomi sakusa ; washing machine - VANISHING GIRL, rosemary fairweather

PLEASE braid this man's hair. 😞 he pretends to despise it and thinks you don't notice when he literally melts under your touch. he feels safe 'nd comfy and hopes it lasts forever, when your hand retracts he has a lil' pout

notices when you've been wearing your favourite hood for a couple days straight, has a little scowl under his mask and throws one of his jackets at you. he only gives you the wind-breakers that are 100% cotton or the ones he just knows you like.

he uses this as an excuse to share his clothes with you. its safe to assume its his love language under-cover!

HE IS SO ASS WITH PDA all you get is him giving you hand sanitizer before eating meals or snacks. its only you though, don't tell him that.

BUT sometimes when he feels like it, he will take your hand and put it HIS pocket so "your hands are always sheltered from germs" now what type of bs is THAT. (you love this bs)

can be snarky. sometimes he gets the slightest eenie meenie miniest bit cocky, and its very noticable. has the ability to be a little bit of a tease but not in a pestering way more like a little smartass way LMAO.

tetsuro kuroo ; never lose me - flo milli

always has his hand in the back pocket of your pants. that was it. thank you for coming to my ted talk. (to feel your butt? no idea.)

tutor sessions always unbearable. either you're too busy staring at his biceps, or you're sighing that he's made a little pop quiz for you!! tell him it sucks please

if he notices it gets a bit too much or overwhelming for you over the week or before study dates, insists to take you out instead (what a gentleman!! kuroo tetsuro come into my life)

extremely consistent with routine. good morning and good night text DAILY no matter how busy he is, he WILL find a way (i like to think its his way or the high way #kingofprovocation /hj). very good at getting the things he wants in a non-manipulative way but with simply logic and brains

yeah as captain hes no. #1 but he is also no. #1 waist CLUTCHER. his hands are always on you somehow even in the slightest way, but never pervy. he just likes having his hands on you! bonus points if you have hip dips, he loves it so much. he finds it as a perfect spot to place his hands on (btw ppl w hipdips yall are BEAUTIFUL!! 🥹)

i feel as he has a possessive side as well. small, but more noticable compared to someone else. will not hesitate to stare someone (or recite chemistry nerd stuff 🙁) down for looking at you a little too long :3

when he sees you post or sees himself in your instagram or tiktok dumps, his heart tightens a bit in the best way possible. when you mention him in the post he only reacts with a heart but he's actually going insane

[iikatsukii]

Too Late.

synopsis: they loved you when it was too late. 

pairings: sully family x daughter/sister!reader, neteyam x twin!reader, neytiri x daughter! Reader, jake x daughter!reader

warnings: mentions of death, attempted suicide, suicidal thoughts(?), swearing, familial issues. 

word count: 3.6k

a/n: would yall believe me if i said i wrote this while listening to pussy talk by city girls LMFAOOOOO p.s. Happy valentines day (THE RED TEXT IS "FESTIVE" im trynna get into the valentines day spirit :D). I wish i could've given yall part two of illicit love instead of this but i'm not done with it </3. ALMOST THO!!! (gif creds: @world-of-pandora)

(p.s. part two is out now!!)

it was never supposed to end like this. jake's mouth felt bitter. his whole body shook as he let out the most heart-stopping scream when his eyes landed on his eldest daughter. you, neteyam's twin, lay lifeless in his arms. your father cried because he never got to tell you he was proud of you, or that he loved you, or that you didn't need to compare to your brother to still be considered his baby girl. 

it wasn't always like this, though. 

you and neteyam were always happy and playing around together when you were younger. still, as you two grew older, neteyam took on olo'eyktan training and became his father's perfect warrior. where does that leave you? mo'at had chosen kiri to pursue tsahik training because of her apparent connection to eywa. so where does that leave you? lo'ak took on the role of the troublemaker, and tuk, of course, is just the baby of the family. so where does that leave you?

you're lo'ak's babysitter. making sure the boy doesn't get into trouble, but with your lack of training due to your father training your brother more than you, you weren't really the best babysitter. honestly, it was more lo'ak protecting than you protecting him. he kept you from losing balance while in high places, saved you when you fell into the rapids and flew you home when you forgot your way as if you had not lived in this forest your whole life. 

you felt like a burden on your family. 

nothing you ever did was right. 

you went hunting? cool, but you didn't bring back enough for the whole family, so now neteyam and lo'ak have to go out and find more food for everyone else. 

you bead a necklace for your friend? great, but you messed up the pattern she asked for, so she brought it to kiri so she could remake it.

tuk wanted to go play with you? of course! but now she has a sprained ankle from falling into the river while you were looking at flowers a few feet away.

and every time, somehow, some way, your family always managed to say something that felt like a blade stabbed through your heart.

"next time, y/n, just leave the hunting to neteyam and i. at least we know the right amount to bring back." it was lo'ak before he and your twin had to go hunting for more food for dinner a few weeks ago.

"you know, sister, your jewelry hasn't been the same recently. i've had sooo many of your friends coming back to me saying you messed up the pattern they asked for. just try and pay more attention when you're beading." kiri said as you walked into your home. she was re-beading the necklace you gave to your best friend yesterday. 

the one she told you was perfect and that she loved it.

"how could you leave your sister unattended like that y/n she could've been killed?! why can't you be like neteyam? you’re twins, for crying out loud, y/n. do you not care for your sister's well-being?" your father scolded you outside your grandmother's hut. you could hear her cries inside the tent, along with your mother's gentle words of comfort, as she tried to calm her youngest daughter down. 

you were being compared to your twin for the millionth time in your life, and as used to this as you should be, it still hurt just as bad as the first time your father had said it. 

"she only sprained her ankle. it was an accident sempu–" you tried to defend yourself, but you were cut off. 

"NO. it is, sir. do you understand me?" jake yelled at you. in your 18 years, your father had never raised his voice at you, let alone for you calling him 'sempu.' he used to love it when you called him because you were his ite and he was your sempu. but right now, to him, you were just someone who had hurt his child and nothing more than that. you hang your head, eyes falling to the floor in front of you as you didn't want your father to see you cry. 

"sorry, sir." was all you said before walking away. you don't know where you walked, but you found yourself at the abandoned shack. you knew this area was forbidden, so when you realized where you were, you immediately crouched. you were just gonna walk back because your father would kill you if he found out you were over here, but then you heard voices. you looked through the bush to see a group of 3 or 4 avatars. you knew you couldn't escape now, so you pressed on the collar of your neck.

"sempu– sorry. sir, i need help, i wasn't paying attention to where i was walking, and i can hear avatars speaking english and–" your father cut you off.

"where are you?" he, your mother, and your two brothers were patrolling around your land's territories when they heard you through their earpieces. 

you let out a heavy sigh, praying to eywa that he wouldn't chew your ass up for being here, before pressing the button again and saying, 

"i'm at the abandoned shac–AHH! OWW, LET GO, YOU ASSHOLE!!" you couldn't finish as one of the avatars found your hiding spot, grabbing you by your queue.

thankfully your family had heard enough. your twin telling his father he knew a shortcut, they all flew as fast as they could to you. honestly, this was their last straw. everyone was fed up with you constantly making things hard for everyone.

your mother, though, was worried. you were caught by those skydemons all by yourself. who knew what they would do to you?

as you waited for your family, you were roughly held by your queue as they poked and prodded at you like they had never seen a native before. 

"let me see your hands." the man with a buzzcut spoke. 

"why don't you look at my feet instead?" you said. they all gave you a confused look until you kicked quaritch right in his face. you don't know how, but it caused the avatar behind you to loosen his grip, so you tried to make a break for it.

unluckily for you, the female avatar grabbed your arm, pulling you back into her form. she gripped you by your neck, unaware that she had pressed the button on your communicator. you hissed at her. the man you had kicked was only laughing as he wiped the blood dripping from his nose. "she must be one of his. she's defiant. grab her hands, let me see." he said

the avatar behind you grabbed your hands, holding them both out. 

"hm… four fingers. maybe she's not one of his." were they gonna let you go? wishful thinking.

"fine. she may not be one of his but if one of their people go missing they're bound to come for her. keep her." his words made your heart sank. were they gonna take you? away from everything? your home? your family? if you could even call it that. 

but then you thought about it. you really can't call it that. you don't remember the last happy memory you had with someone, anyone, in your family. it clicked to you that it had been about 10 minutes since you had radioed your father, and he wasn't here yet. were they even coming for you? you knew it was a stupid question. they weren't coming for you. why would they when this was the easiest way to get rid of the weak link of the family? it's not like your blood would be on their hands, and their life would be way better without you.

"they're not gonna come for me. i have no family. you killed my family in the last war, you dickhead." you lied to the man you had kicked earlier. 

hearing you say this confused your family. what were you talking about?

"dammit you're an orphan? i didn't know the na'vi had any of those. then what do we do with her. she's useless. nobody will notice she's gone." the woman behind you asked her superior. 

"hmm.. i have a better idea. kill her. use her as a warning to the sullys. this is what we're capable of now. it'll be a threat. give us jake sully and nobody else will die. but this one… this one is our lab rat. we're gonna make you bleed out nice and slow little one." he said as he grabbed his pistol off his waist, pressing it below your jaw. the nickname made you internally gag, but you held your ground. 

these people had no real idea how tired you really were. you were exhausted. you were ready for life with eywa. you wanted your deity to hold you close, keep you warm, and protect you from the harsh real world. the world that your parents didn't adequately prepare you for. the world that you were ready to leave. 

"kill me," you said as you grabbed quaritch's wrist and moved his gun from under your jaw to right above your heart. "and make it quick. nobody will come for me anyways," you said in a monotone voice.

the avatars all looked at you in awe. they had never once seen a na'vi so willing to give up their life. the natives they had all met were vicious, hissing and armed, always ready to kill. but you. you were the opposite.

you were fed up and ready to die. but not for your people. for your own inner peace. 

"no," quaritch said, putting his gun down. that shocked everyone. like he shocked his soldiers and your family, who had been listening the whole time. they were trying to get to you as fast as possible.

hearing how you really felt was a wake-up call for your family. and when they heard bullets moving within the chamber of quaritch's pistol, they all flew their ikrans as fast as possible, weaving through trees and around mountains, trying to get to you.

you looked at the man like he had just betrayed you. 

"DO IT, YOU COWARD! FUCKING DO IT! NOBODY WILL COME FOR ME!! THEY DON'T CARE!! THEY DON'T FUCKING CARE!!" you don't know what came over you, but you tried to wrestle quaritch's pistol out of his hands. your family was only 2 clicks away and could hear you struggling. everyone landed at the same time. the sullys, excluding tuk and kiri, who had stayed with mo'at, caught quaritch's attention, which distracted him enough for you to pull the gun from his grip. 

you distanced yourself from everyone, and looking around, you realized you were surrounded by everyone. your family and these random avatar people. everyone could read you. you were a ticking time bomb and the only person in control of the trigger was you. one of the avatars took a step forward slowly, but you saw him move and point the gun at him. it didn't stop him from moving, but you heard screams of protest when you pointed the gun at your own head. that's when everyone froze. the avatars. your family. nature. time. eywa. you. everything was frozen.

"babygirl…" the nickname made you snap your neck to the man who was the root of your problems. 

"NO! no, you do not get to call me that. if i can't call you ma sempu, don't bother referring to me as your daughter." you said. your energy was depleted, and you knew you would only be able to stand here for a couple more minutes before you opened your own doors and walked to your great-mother. jake tried to take a step closer to you, which only caused you to tense up and pull on the trigger a little bit. everyone immediately backed up, your mother hissing at you through her tears. "MA ITE, PUT THE GUN DOWN," she screamed at you.

"sa'nok…" you whimpered, not even being able to look her in the eyes. 

"sa'nu… i can't" you sobbed. you could barely breathe and your tears were coming down in waterfalls at this point. you couldn't see anything clearly. your tears had blurred your vision. 

you knew your mom loved you. she and tuk were the only ones in the family who had never uttered a harsh word in your direction. though she was busy taking care of tuk, so it wasn't like you got much attention from them either. but there's no way you would blame her or tuk for that. if anything, you're sorry that you have to leave them, but this world isn't for you. you turned on your heels, looking at the man whose gun you took.

"you are a coward. you should've pulled the goddamn trigger. you're fucking pathetic. are you happy now? now everyone here gets to experience what they've waited so long for." nobody had ever heard you speak to anyone like that. honestly, they couldn't tell if your words were directed at quaritch or yourself. 

you inhaled, looking up at the eclipse, your bioluminescent freckles glowing brighter than they ever had in the nighttime as tears cascaded down your face. 

"goodbye," you said as you squeezed the trigger, hearing a loud bang and tons of screaming. you felt no pain, though. you opened your eyes, not realizing you had closed them, and looked around. you noticed your pistol was stuck in the tree in front of you with an arrow clean through it. you turned to your twin with hate in your eyes. he lowered his bow as he read your expression. 

"now you wanna save me?" your voice was weak but filled with venom. 

"why didn't you save me when you noticed i stopped hanging out with you guys? hm? why didn't you teach me when i was younger? huh? why didn't you talk to me other than when you were chewing my ass out for something that was A FUCKING ACCIDENT, GODAMMIT. WHY?!" you felt like your tears were endless. 

"WHY DIDN'T YOU LOVE ME?! ANSWER ME YOU FUCKERS!! WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME?!" you screamed your frustrations at your father and brothers. none of them could look you in your eyes, save for your mother. "you only want to save me because you know how much i don't want to be saved anymore but it's too goddamn late," you said.

you turned to the female avatar who was holding you from before. you noticed her gun earlier and hoped you looked threatening enough for her to use it as you ran in her direction. she didn't know what to do. she didn't know you were a barely trained warrior or that you wouldn't have put a scratch on her. she didn't know you were harmless. all she knew was that you were a native, and the natives were hostile. 

so she pulled her gun out and fired two shots into your chest.

the momentum of the bullet was enough to stop you from running. you felt the searing pain start to blossom in your chest area. falling to your knees, your eyes met the woman who had shot you. you looked at her shirt, reading her name. it was a funny name to you, but you didn't care. she had fulfilled your wish without even knowing it. so you used your last breath to speak.

"thank you, z-dog" you slumped over on your side, as everything started to go slow. your vision was starting to darken, and you let it consume you, not wanting to fight for your life anymore. 

cue the screams and cries from your family and the fleeing steps of the rda soldiers. your chest stopped rising and falling, and your breathing had ceased. your family surrounded your body, trying to stop your bleeding and preserve the life that had already left your body. still, you had been shot twice, and both bullets had exit wounds. it was no use. nearby, na'vi had heard the screams of distress and had called over some hunters and scouts to investigate the scene since they knew the area was near the forbidden old shack.

the hunters and scouts arrived at the scene armed and ready to defend their people, but what they were met with was the last thing they expected to see. the eldest sully daughter was lying on the floor, motionless, with two bullet holes in her chest and her blood sinking into the forest floor. her family leaned over her body, screaming and crying for her to be okay and to return to them. they whispered how sorry they were. they whispered to her how if she came back, they would treat her right, teach her, hang out with her, and love her like they were supposed to. but it's too late.

nobody knew how to react. the eldest sully daughter had died, and nobody but her family knew what had happened. 

“ma ite, oel ngati kameie. i see you. i'm sorry, i'm so so sorry. you don't have to be your brother. being you was just fine." your father cried as he cradled your head. brushing your hair away from your face, getting blood on your cheek since his hands were covered in it. 

neteyam and lo'ak were each holding one of your hands. they cried as they watched their tears pool in your palm and then fall off the edge to drip into the soil below your body. they couldn't believe they treated you like anything less than their sister. they treated you like you were a stranger, a burden to deal with. and now that you were gone, they could not tell you how sorry they were for how they treated you.

neytiri was inconsolable. her firstborn daughter had just died in front of her eyes. willingly. she wanted this. her own daughter wanted to take her life. and she couldn't do anything to stop it. how could she not know? how did you go 18 years hurting in silence? how did she not know you needed to be saved? 

"ma ite. my baby. ma y/n." neytiri's heart shattered when she saw those bullets go through your chest. she cried over your body for what felt like hours, but it was only a few minutes until the male healers came so they could carry you to the healing tents to prepare you for your burial ritual. 

as jake pulled his mate from your body, she started to push against him trying to get him to let go of her so she could return to her daughter. 

eventually, jake lets go, unable to keep his mate from her child. he joined her and just asked the healers to give your family a minute with you. 

they just nodded in understanding, leaving your family to grieve. 

two pairs of footsteps rushed towards the clearing, where the family mourned one of their own. 

kiri and tuk had heard the news and came as fast as they could. tuk screamed, running up to you and curling herself into your chest as she sobbed into your neck. she didn't care if she was getting blood all over herself. you were her older sister, and she didn't even get to say goodbye. she felt nothing but sadness and loss. tuk felt terrible because the last time she had seen you was earlier when you brought her back from the stream because she had sprained your ankle. and now you were lying on the forest floor dead? how did this happen?

"HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?! SISTER, PLEASE!!" kiri begged you to wake up as she placed herself where her father was earlier. she rested your head in her lap, looking into your lifeless yellow eyes. you were her elder sister. as much as you didn't know, kiri looked up to you. she knew how hard you tried for the family, and though it wasn't your fault that you would mess up a necklace every once and a while, she couldn't help but feel guilty for the words she said to you in those moments. she knew she could've should've been nicer about it. 

when it was finally time for the healers to take your body, once again, neytiri tried to fight against them. this time everyone in the family had to hold her back as the healer walked you away in a leaf big enough to cover your entire body from the eyes of those around you. once you were gone from her view, neytiri fell to the floor again, sobbing into the ground, 

"GREAT MOTHER, WHY?!!" their mother's screams felt like a knife in their hearts. the sully family felt nothing but guilt and grief upon your death. nobody got closure because there is no closure for this kind of thing. they were the reason you wanted to die, and now that you got what you wanted, they had to live with that guilt. 

you were high in being held in eywa's embrace as you cried. looking down on your family. you did not regret your decision, but you just had one question for your deity. 

"did they really love me, great mother." eywa heaved a sigh before answering you. 

"my ite, your mother and youngest sister loved you everyday, they were just very poor at showing it i'm afraid." you nodded your head, asking a follow-up question, 

"what about the others?" you knew by her face that you wouldn't like the answer, but it was too late. the question was asked. and the answer is precisely the reason why you did what you did.

"they loved you just a little bit too late, my child."

[turcott3]

never lose you

luca fantilli x estapa sister

warnings?: cursing, pregnancy, fluff and kissing

masterlist

-

“mark, i threw up again this morning.” you groan, holding the cold towel to the back of your neck as you walked into his room.

“come here.” he waves you over pressing his hand to your forehead.

“nope still not warm. somethings up with you, and i think i might know what it is.”

“i don’t want it to be true.” you whine.

“i know, but you’re not alone. go put on some shoes im gonna take you to Walmart. you’re taken care of okay? we can work it out sis. i’ve got you.”

“thank you.” you reply tearfully as he hugged you.

“i’m always here to protect my baby sis. it’s my job.”

“only by a year and a half.”

“well it’s 2 years when you look at the number.” you giggle smacking his arm.

“go get your shoes,” he laughs lightly, sliding his slippers on. he met you out at his car, nonstop picking at your nails.

“moms gonna kill me.”

“no she’s not y/n. you’re 20. sure you’re young but you’re not a teenager. you’re in school and have a good job. everything will work out. and besides you don’t even actually know yet.” he says shaking your shoulder, forcing a small smile out. you and mark had thankfully always been really close and you knew you could trust him with anything.

once you were checked out at the store, mark paid for everything. you almost wanted to cry. your brother was always supportive but he knew this could be the biggest obstacle of your life possibly.

“you didn’t have to pay for all of this stuff.”

“it’s the least i can do. you’re just giving me stressed vibes and i wanna try to help.” he replies.

“farah has made you a softy.” you laugh and he smacks your arm.

“hey that’s a good thing. we love her.”

“the most.” he giggles, driving you safely home.

“moms at work so, i’ll just sit out here while you do your thing and just come out when you’re ready.” mark says sitting on the end of your bed, turning on a tv show so you could be properly isolated.

you sat impatiently on the edge of your tub, waiting for the timer to go off. once it finally rang, you stood up and walked over to the counter, your breath uneven. you picked up the test flipping it over.

just as mark had suspected. positive.

“mark.” you say aloud, your voice growing weak.

“what is it? do you want me to come in there?” he asks, pausing the tv.

“yeah.” you say wiping a tear.

“whats the verdict?” he asks and you simply hand it to him and he sighs.

“how do you feel?” he asks, looking back up at you.

“i don’t know.” you reply, feeling the tears begin to well up in your eyes.

“do you need anything?”

“i just need you bubba, i’m scared.” you say, calling him the nickname that hasn’t left your mouth since his 12th birthday, choking on the tears that threatened to fall.

“hey no no, don’t cry.” he says pulling you into his chest, cradling your head comfortingly.

“what do i do?” you sniffle.

“you need to talk to mom when she comes home. don’t tell luca first. as much as i know you might want to.” he says,’letting you go and taking the test back out of your hands, setting it on the counter.

“okay.” you reply weakly.

“hey, everything’s gonna be okay. i’ve got your back. one hundred percent.” he states, confirming the sense of comfort he was giving you.

“thank you mark.”

“of course. i can’t believe my homie knocked you up.” he giggles and you shove him jokingly. he’d always joked about you and luca dating but he honestly adored the fact that one of his best friends was able to make you the happiest he’s ever seen you.

“too soon man, too soon.” you giggle, hugging your older brother one last time before exiting the bathroom.

it now felt like a waiting game, waiting for your mother to get home. you waited and waited until you finally got the text that she was on her way. going over and over in your head what exactly you should say to her, what questions you’re gonna ask her. it was all happening so quickly.

“hey y/n.” your mom says walking in the door and you say hello back, letting her get settled. the longer she was home the more nervous you grew. after a few short minutes, you called her into the living room.

“what’s up? you seem so serious.” she giggles nervously.

“mom can i please just ask that you won’t be mad at me when i tell you this.” you start, already feeling the tears well up, mark sitting and listening at the bar. supporting from a distance.

“i mean i can’t promise any-“

“please mom.” you beg, wiping the single tear that fell.

“okay okay, what’s wrong?”

“momma i’m pregnant.” you say, your voice cracking slightly before breaking down in tears once again.

“oh honey.” she replies, hugging onto you instantly.

“i’m sorry.” you cry into her shoulder.

“no sweetheart don’t apologize. it’s gonna be okay.” she says softly, letting you go.

“i’m so scared. we didn’t plan for this at all.”

“i know you didn’t, it’s okay we all make mistakes, but hey, at least we know who the father is,” she giggles, “have you told him yet?”

“no mark told me to tell you first.”

“atta boy.” she winks at him as he giggles.

“are you sure you’re not mad?” you ask, sucking up your tears.

“no y/n, im not mad. you’re 20 years old. you’re not 16 anymore. you’re a grown up.” she says rubbing your arm.

“what do i do? i need help.”

“and that’s why i’m here, im your mother. im always going to help you. you’re my only baby girl, you’ll always be taken care of my love.” she says, wiping your final tear.

“thank you momma.” you reply, hugging her once again.

“why don’t you invite luca over tonight, you can tell him. and if he needs a moment, i’m here. we’re all here for you y/n.” mark adds in.

“that’s a great idea. call him.” she replies and you nod, inviting luca over to stay the night which he of course accepted. about an hour later, luca was walking in the door. your heart dropping at the sound of his voice.

“hi baby.” he says sweetly, walking over to kiss you as you sat anxiously laid back on the couch.

“hi.” you reply before he says hello to mark and mom.

“luca, go sit with my sister. it’s important. but i’m staying right here.” he insists, directing luca back to the couch.

“oh um, are you okay?” he asks, the nerves in his voice ticking immediately.

“well, i’m not really sure. how you react to what im about to tell you will determine if im okay.” you giggle, scratching the back of your head.

“whatever it is, i won’t be mad.” he reassures you, concern filling his eyes.

“lu im-“ you pause, breathing out before continuing, “im pregnant.”

“what?” he replies quietly.

“i’m pregnant luca.” you repeat. he says nothing and pulls you in for a hug. he still hasn’t said anything which wasn’t making you feel the best.

“if you need a second i understand, im still processing it too” you say as he pulls away and nods at your words, mark pulling him into the guest room. you shuffled quietly over to the shut door, pressing your ear against it.

“bro why didn’t you say anything?” mark asks.

“i didn’t know how to reply, i don’t want to upset her.”

“what’s that supposed to mean? are you gonna dump her? are you gonna tell her what to do about it? what is it?”

“no of course not, i fucking love her dude, i love that girl like crazy, i would never leave her to do this alone. ever. i was just in shock. i still don’t even know what to say to comfort her. i know she’s probably taking it really hard.”

“well get out there, and use your words dude. she’s crazy about you. and hearing any kind of words of affirmation ate important to her, especially right now.” mark replies as you quickly shuffle back over to the couch, the door opening once you sat down.

“y/n, i’m sorry i didn’t say anything back. i- i was just in shock. i know this is my fault and im fully prepared to take on that responsibility. whatever you choose to do, i’m here to support you. i love you so much baby. you’re not alone, you’ll never be alone.” he spits out, spilling a few tears taking your hands into his.

“thank you.” you reply tearfully as he presses a sweet kiss to your lips.

“always. you’ll never lose me y/n, i swear to god you won’t.” he reassures you as you cuddle yourself to his chest, leaned back on the couch.

“okay.” you reply quietly.

-

you were about 4 months along now. still sick every morning, back pain sinking in. your belly was still a little small but definitely growing.

“no no fuck.” you whine, your favorite jeans now no longer able to zip.

“what’s wrong? i heard you from out there.” luca says burst through the door.

“luca my favorite jeans don’t fit anymore.” you frown, tears threatening to spill.

“hey no no, it’s okay baby. those jeans will hug your beautiful body again in a few months my love. go put on some of my sweatpants and we can go find you some new jeans. is that okay?” he asks stopping your tears.

“okay. thank you.” you reply softly.

“anything for you, you know i’ll always take care of you.” he replies, kissing your head and reaching for his shoes.

luca had moved into your house to be with you during your pregnancy. he couldn’t bare the idea of sleeping in his bed while you slept in yours. he’s been great helping out around the house and making sure you don’t have to go or drive anywhere on your own. making sure you and your baby were safe at all times. you grew more comfortable with him day by day.

you picked out a few pairs of jeans as well as a couple of dresses to try on. just to make sure you were getting something you’d actually wear.

“okay here’s the first pair.” you said before pulling open the curtain revealing the maternity jeans that closely resembled your favorite jeans.

“so?”

“you look beautiful.” luca says, a smile growing widely on his face as he observed your body.

“well we know this size fits so, i’ll show you the dress i picked out.” you giggle, walking back into the dressing room and shutting the curtain, quickly yanking the jeans off and pulling the dress over your head. you adjusted it and looked in the mirror. your bump was showing well in this dress. you turned to the side and frowned. it hit you all at once what was happening, tears welling up in your eyes.

“everything okay in there?” luca asks, standing outside the curtain.

“yeah, can you come in here?” you ask, wiping the tear, turning to face the curtain.

“oh wow.” he says tugging the curtain shut behind you as he looked at you before noting your expression.

“what’s wrong y/n? you look absolutely gorgeous.”

“i know but look.” you frown turning to the side running a hand over your small bump.

“what about it?”

“look at me luca. just look.” you frown a quiet sob leaving your mouth.

“don’t cry baby no.” he says pulling you to his chest.

“it’s just all hitting me so fast. my body is changing so fast.” you sniffle.

“i know i know, but you’re gonna be such a beautiful momma. baby fantilli slash y/l/n has the most beautiful mommy in the world. i know you may not feel the greatest but you’re so gorgeous y/n. you look so fucking perfect.” he says running his hands over your stomach and on your sides only making you cry more.

“shhhhh it’s okay.” he says hugging you tighter, cradling your head in his hand, grazing his thumb softly over your hair.

-

“so.”

“so?” you question mark as he enters your room and plops on your bed.

“i got you something, well it wasn’t all me, it was like ninety percent luca.” he says holding up target bags full of things.

“something? looks like more than that.” you giggle.

“yeah well, luca left early for family dinner so that he could go shopping for you and the baby. he wanted my help so, do you wanna see?”

“i mean i guess i don’t have much choice do i?” you laugh, grateful they’d thought of you while out together.

“okay so,” he starts before showing you everything him and luca had picked out for you and the baby. your heart melted more and more with the thoughtfulness of each object.

“thank you for everything mark.” you reply as he finished, hugging him tightly.

“luca has one more thing, but he’ll give it to you once he’s home.” mark smiles, putting everything back in the bags and setting them on the floor.

“oh? okay.” you reply as he exits your room with a goodbye. it shouldn’t be too much longer that luca would be gone. you hoped at least. you sat in your bed looking through the objects when luca came in the room.

“hi baby,” you smile as he walks over to kiss you sweetly.

“how was dinner with the family?” you continue.

“it was so good. they were asking me about how everything was going and they wanted me to give you this check from them. it’s for a thousand dollars. my brother and parents all chipped in.” he smiles, unfolding the check from his pocket and handing it to you.

“that’s so sweet of them.” you pout looking up at him and hugging on tightly.

“they wanted to make sure you’re taken care of. this money is for you. not the baby. for you.” he repeats and you nod.

“i also have something else for you.” he says quietly.

“go on?” you smile.

“close your eyes.” he says smiling and you do so, smile growing wider. you feel a ring slowly pushed onto your ring finger, you stomach dropping at the sensation.

“open.” he says quietly and you open your eyes to a delicate diamond ring. a simple design and a small diamond.

“luca what-“

“this is not a marriage proposal, you know i would go all out for that. this is just a promise ring.”

“it’s beautiful.” you say looking closer at it.

“i got it because i wanted to show you how truly serious i am about this. im so in love with you, and im in love with our future. you’re everything to me, our baby is everything to me, we are everything to me. and more.” he says, grabbing onto your hand, running a thumb over your knuckles.

“this almost feels like a dream and like it’s gonna be over soon.” you say shedding a tear.

“well it’s not a dream and it’s not too good to be true. i also got the ring so that no creepy guy would try to think you were some young single struggling mom. had to stake my claim properly.” he giggles.

“well thank you for thinking of me luca.”

“always.”

-

“i don’t wanna do any parties or anything.” you tell luca as you sat in the ultrasound room.

“no showers?”

“can we just mail out like an announcement and maybe we’ll get some gifts and stuff.” you ask.

“if that’s what you want, it’s entirely up to you.”

“i’m already stressed enough, that would probably make it worse.” you giggle.

“then we’ll do that.”

“okay my lovebirds, i have the gender right here. do you want me to save it? or do you want it now?” the doctor asks, entering the room.

“now, please.” you smile anxiously.

“i’ll hand it off to you.” she smiles at luca as she hands the paper off to him.

“it’s a……” he pauses scanning the paper before stopping, a smile growing across his cheeks.

“it’s a girl.” he says sweetly.

“really?” you exclaim.

“yes baby, it’s a girl.” he says showing you the paper. quickly you jump up off the bed, wrapping your arms tightly around him.

“luca fantilli, girl dad, has a nice ring to it.” you giggle pulling away.

“y/n fantilli, girl MOM, has a better ring to it in my opinion.” he giggles.

“come here.” you say to the doctor, squeezing her tight, thanking her for this special moment.

“i’m so glad you guys are happy. please come back and see me once she’s born.”

“absolutely we will.” you smile as she guides you back to the waiting room.

-

“god i’m only a few weeks away.” you grown, leaning on your hands over the counter in hopes of relieving the stress on your back.

“hey y/n, we gotta try this.” luca comes sliding around the corner, tossing his phone on the couch.

“try what?” you groan sitting up.

“okay turn your back to me.” he says and you do so.

“ready?” he asks.

“yes?” you question. moments later feeling all of the pressure leave your back.

“oh my god.” you breathe out as he holds your belly up.

“does that feel good?”

“yes fuck yes. i feel like i can breathe properly.” you giggle with borderline orgasmic pleasure lining your tone.

“unfortunately i cannot stand here forever but i will gladly do this whenever you need it.” he says gently lowering your belly.

“thank you baby, that felt amazing.” you say turning around and pressing a sweet kiss to his lips.

-

you laid restlessly in the hospital bed, luca lying awake on his phone in a chair just across the room. your water broke at home but you were nowhere near ready to give birth.

“i can’t sleep.” you groan.

“me either.” he replies, shutting off his phone.

“can you come lay with me?” you ask softly.

“yeah of course.” he says getting up off the chair and instantly finding his way to your side.

“i’m so scared lu.” you whisper.

“i know. it’s scary, but im here. your mom is here. mark will be here.”

“will you hold my hand when the time comes?” you ask, nuzzling yourself to his side as best as you could.

“of course baby. let’s try and get some sleep in you okay?” he says.

“okay.” you reply, shutting your eyes. after what seemed like hours of silence your consciousness dwindled.

“i’m so proud of you.” he whispers pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. those words being the last you heard before you finally drifted off to sleep.

you woke up the next morning with jerk and a sharp pain.

“ouch.” you groan, seeing luca had already been awake and moved to the chair.

“oh gosh, are you contracting?”

“yeah, good morning to me.” you groan, squinting your eyes shut.

“do you want me to get your mom?” he asks and you simply nod, gritting your teeth. he calls your mom on his phone, her entering just moments later.

“how frequent?”

“well this was the first one so i don’t know.” you reply, the pressure subsiding.

“i’ll go grab a doctor and they can check you out. just hold tight honey.” she says, rushing back out the door.

“what if it happens like soon soon?” you ask luca nervously.

“we’ll all be by your side. i can’t sit here and say it’ll be easy because it’s definitely not, but i’ll hold your hand and make sure you’re doing okay. that’s my job.” he says, reassuring that you were not alone in this process.

“okay miss y/n. how are you feeling? i heard you had a contraction.” the nurse says entering the room.

“yeah, that’s what i woke up to.” you sigh.

“what a pleasant wake up call.” she giggles.

the nurse stayed in the room keeping tabs with your dialation. you grew more and more nervous at every update.

-

“come on baby, just one more.” luca says as you held a death grip on his hand, your knuckles turning white. you somehow mustered up the strength to give one last push, resulting in the sound of your precious baby girl crying, resulting in you sobbing instantly.

“you’re baby daddy?” the doctor asked luca and he nods, being beckoned over.

“well boyfriend and baby daddy but yes.” he giggles as a nurse pats him on the back.

“he’s cutting the cord y/n.” your mom says kissing the side of your head, brushing the hair off of your sweaty face. you brushed over the ring on your finger. it was unreal that this was your life now.

all you could do was cry. the wait was finally over.

“hi baby.” you frown sweetly as they handed you your daughter, luca finding his way back to your side immediately.

“she’s beautiful.” you sob out, sniffling.

“just like her momma.” luca replies, kissing your temple a few times, his hand rested on top of yours as you held her. admiring your beautiful creation, the one you were so afraid of those 9 months ago.

“i like lilly.” you say to luca quietly.

“lilly fantilli. i love it.” he smiles.

after some hours, the nurses trickled out and the room became quiet again. you’d been holding her for hours, never wanting to let go. not until it was just you, her and luca.

“hey momma, before you leave can you do something for me?” you smile.

“yes of course sweetie.” she replies as she walks over, whispering in her ear. you handed the baby off to your mom, who carried her over to luca.

“now i know im your mother-in-law so this is gonna sound weird. but i need you to take off your shirt.” she says in her humor that you always adored. you wanted to cry as his face lit up. he slid his shirt off quickly and got comfortable before your mother carefully handed her off to him, resting her softly on his chest.

“oh my god.” he stuttered out, a tear falling down his cheek, followed by a sniffle.

“lu don’t cry honey.” you said softly, carefully getting out of bed finding your way to his side. luckily since you were young, recovery wasn’t so hard.

“i can’t help it, look at what we did. she’s perfect.” he continued, quiet sobs leaving his mouth. in all the time you’d been together, you’d never seen him like this. so vulnerable and sweet.

“awe baby.” you said, lightly scratching his scalp.

“i love you my sweet lilly girl, i’ll never let anyone hurt you and i’ll always be here for you. daddy loves you so much.” he cried quietly to her on his chest, bringing you nearly to tears.

“i can’t believe this is our life now.” you say in his ear pressing a kiss to his shoulder.

“i would never change it, not for anything in the world.” he replies finally looking at you. his eyes puffy with tears.

“i love you luca, so so much.”

“i love you more, zero argument.” he smiles, you roll your eyes playfully pressing a kiss to his lips, closing the last chapter of your youth.

this was your life now. mother of lilly mars (mark wasn’t a good middle name for a girl) fantilli, and obviously future wife of luca. it was the best gift the universe could’ve ever blessed you with.

[bloodyinkandquill]

Illumina and child figure Reader

they never specified so i’m assuming they want child reader sorry if i assumed wrong let me know if i did and ill do a new one!

to keep my theme i don’t put anything before the characters name so this is more accurately father figure illumina but oh well

sorry for my semi hiatus i haven’t had much motivation but im writing to get my mind off of the election and ive got brownies cooling on the counter, we also have a new puppy dm me for pics because she is the cutest thing oh my gods

- Sneaking into Illumina’s temple to steal food from his offerings takes some guts, or you were incredibly stupid, it could be either honestly, seeing as you were a kid probably both honestly

- When Illumina sensed someone not only stealing from his temple but one of his offerings he showed up immediately, pissed if not a little impressed someone had the nerve, then he saw you, a small, very thin, shaking little kid holding a single loaf of bread, normally he’d smite you without a second chance but something stopped him, maybe it was that your horn looked very slightly like his, maybe jealousy of some of his siblings, or maybe he was just tired, but he stopped and didn’t smite you

- He asked what you were doing, stealing from his temple, you said you were starving, you needed something to eat, and the only place nearby was his temple, you were so sorry, he made an odd sound before sighing and saying he’d get you some proper food, something that wasn’t an offering to him, realizing it was an offering you panicked and he said it was whatever, bringing you to his worshippers to make you food

- They were all a bit confused but they did so obediently and you had the best soup you’ve ever had, as you ate he asked you questions about yourself, your name, age, etc, finally he eventually said you could stay in his temple, he’d have his worshippers make sure you were bathed and fed, you were extremely thankful if not a bit confused

- His demeanor remained cold and stern but he did seem a bit more soft towards you, after he left you were given your own room and taken care of, when you saw him next you immediately ran up and gave him a hug, barely even making it up to his waist, seeing you in his follower’s robes, and the way they were too large for you, sparked something unfamiliar in him, a parental instinct

- He was unfamiliar with the feeling, but he’d heard some of his siblings describe it before, and he realized he wanted to protect you, not just have you be cared for by his worshippers, but he wanted to take care do you, so suddenly you were in his home, sort of, you think it’s his home but it looked… weird*

- Illumina isn’t the most expressive or talkative guy but you knew he does care about you, making sure you’re always properly fed and clean, if you ask for something he doesn’t respond but a few hours later you find that thing in or near your room, you always give him a hug when you do, slowly as time went on he’d touch you back during the hugs, a pat on the head, ruffling your hair, and after awhile he’d bend down to your level so he could hug you back properly

- He has some weird bird brain instincts on occasion which is why sometimes you end up sleeping in a big pile of blankets and pillows curled up next to him, he makes cooing sounds contently and you fall asleep not a worry on your mind, safe and warm, though him trying to feed you is something you do not like, at least it isn’t proper baby bird style just spoon feeding instead

- His siblings don’t know about you, okay that’s not entirely true, Ghostwalker has seen you before but doesn’t know the full extent of his brothers care towards you, but besides for him the others have no idea he adopted a mortal, let alone who he met because they stole from him

- Sometimes he disappears for days at a time, if he knows that that’s going to happen he leaves you in the care of his followers, when they first took care of you it was begrudgingly but now that you’re basically his child they treat you with a lot more care and gentleness, you also were given special robes by him so that when they do have to take care of you they know who you are immediately, that is if they don’t see your eyes immediately

- If Illumina blesses or gifts one of his worshippers their eyes go fully white like his, in your case they went a light purple instead, but same principle applies, your pupils disappeared and anyone who looks at your face can tell at the very least you have his blessings, if not that you’re more special then a normal follower who’s received his gift

- Soup is still your favorite food, it reminds you of the day you met him, even if he never admits it knowing that soup is your favorite food and when he sees you eat it it makes something warm spring up in his chest

- He’s not much of a talker, but he enjoys listening to you ramble on about anything and everything, even if not that coherent it’s pure and childish, maybe what you did that day, the story behind a drawing you made, the story you’re currently acting out with your toys, which speaking of are sick, he had almost never interacted which children before you so he basically got you everything, going form a homeless street child to owning basically every toy in existence was a pretty sweet thing

- After a few months he teaches you how to preen him, you’re not amazing at it but you have plenty of time to learn, and your small hands make it so you can be a lot more careful, after you preen him though he immediately starts brushing your hair and straightening your clothes, it’s his way of preening you back, since you don’t have wings (yet) of your own so taking care of your hair and cleaning you up slightly is the closest he can get

- On very rare occasion he returns home with injuries, usually from fights gone too far with Darkheart, or maybe once or twice Venomshank, either way you watch from his doorway as he bandages himself up hissing in pain as he cleans and dresses his wounds, after he finishes you come in with a stuffed animal handing it to him and gently crawl into his lap, it relaxes him and you fall asleep in his nest with him that night, every stuffed animal you give him during those times ends up in his nest, he treasures them, in his own way, when he’s a very stoic guy it’s not obvious but you’ve learned to read him, he also lets himself show more emotion around you, since you are just a child who can’t understand him that well normally

- When you first saw him appear that day in his temple, you thought for sure your life was over, but instead you gained a father, and even if you never said it, you were eternally grateful for all of it, falling asleep curled up next to a deity who was almost twice your height was never your plan, but you were happy it happened

i am stressing over this election but i’m tired now, imma go to bed, ALSO

i made a friend in this community and they offered to help with this blog, idk if it will happen but on occasion they may do a request for me ill say if they do it’s not a guarantee but just letting you all know there’s a chance i might get some help on these here and there

* according to soda illumina kind of has a house ‘it’s weird’ what that means is unclear

[nightqueen1221]

hi!! can i ask for hanako, kou, tsukasa, nene, teru, and sakura reacting to y/n who bops their head like they're listening to music when they're happy? like there could be dead silence and then we have y/n bopping their head happily. and if its not too much to ask can it be a gn y/n? im so sorry for the long ask <//3 if u dont wanna take this request thats fine! love ur work :D! - 🐝

Hello my first emoji ayon! Apologies for this being late. This was also the only image I could find with all of them.

Hanako/Amane Yugi

-He finds it cute.

-Honestly, he really likes it since he can tease about it later.

-Every once in a while he'll float over to you and lift the headphones out or lightly tug on your earbuds to pull them out.

-"Whatchu listening to?" He asks.

-He's not really looking for answer, he just wants your attention.

-If you close your eyes while listening, he'll go in for a kiss just to see your surprised face.

-If you wear earbuds he'll ask if you can share.

-If you're ok with it, he gives comments about the music you listen to.

Nene Yashiro

-Honestly, she doesn't really judge you since she's just so happy she actully got a relationship, so when she sees you listening to music and bopping your head, she doesn't mind.

-She might every once in a while ask what song it is.

-If she knows the song she'll either talk about it or fawn over the band members/singer.

-You introduced her to a lot of diffrent types of music along with new bands and singers.

-Every once in a while she gets a sticky notes and writes songs she likes so you can listen to them. (Along with a few doodles in the corner.)

Kou Minamoto

-He's concerned.

-He thinks you're going to hit your head or something else since your not really paying attention to your surroundings.

-He usually has a hand wrapped around your waist just to make sure your safe.

-If you offer to listen to music with him, he'll accept. Perhaps you could dance together.

-I don't think he'd be a very good dancer so you might have to teach him if you know.

-If neither of you know, well you can just look like two idiots having fun.

-When you two dance im the school (if ever) Hanako is going to intervene. He'll probably trip Kou so he'll fall on you making him look like a pervert. And nobody else can see Hanako so they Kou is in the wrong.

-Hanako truly doesn't mean any harm by it, he's just trying to poke some fun.

-As long as you tell Kou he doesn't need to worry about you and you can handle your surroundings, he's a lot more comfortable.

Teru Minamoto

-Same thing with his brother, he worries you're going to get hurt and tries to avoid anything happening to you.

-He always had a ton of fangirls and the fact he choose means you matter to him more than you could imagine. (Same thing with his fans if you know what I mean.)

-He might even go as far as taking you things away if you don't listen to him.

-Don't worry, just give him puppy dog eyes and he'll give in faster than the speed of sound.

-Or cry, if you can cry on command good lord. He HATES to see a person he cares for in pain, so he'll do almost anything to make it stop.

-If you walk around while listening to music, he's right behind you with his hands on your shoulders to make sure you're safe. This does not change if your eyes are open.

-And if you do happen to have someone bump into you, are they going to have an earful from your boyfriend.

-So, just be careful around him and when you listen to music.

Sakura Nanamie

-It doesn't bother her in the slightest.

-She enjoys the stillness of sound, she's usually caught up with Tsukasa being loud, so just being in the same room as you, but not talking makes her enjoy these times together.

-She knows your not paying attention so she sometimes go up behind you and give a little kiss on your cheek. (Or on the lips depending on how far the relationship has gone.)

-When she wants your attention for either a question or because she simply wants affection, she'll lightly tap your shoulder or rub the back of your hand.

-She ALWAYS asks if you can give her attention beforehand, since she is very much aware of what it's like for someone to be forced into it.

-This also makes it very rare for her to ask for anything, but I'm getting off track.

-It's not a huge part of her life but she still thinks it kinda cute you do it

Tsukasa Yugi

-All he can think is, "Perfect opportunity".

-You're distracted AND can't hear him. He wants to prank or surprise you as much as possible. Having your attention on something else other than him (Which he is a bit offended by) Gives him the chance to shock you.

-At this point, it's not as surprising. The most shocking part is what he tries and do to gain your focus.

-He's given you things he's killed, which the offer is nice, the corpse is not.

-He'll incessantly bother you asking if he can listen to music with you.

-If you refuse, he'll do one of three things.

- 1. Continue to cry and complain

- 2. Take whatever you're listening to music on.

- 3. Get Sakura involved. Which ends up with your device getting confiscated.

-As fun as it is to mess with you, he gets super annoyed if you ignore him completely. And that leads to one of the items above.

-Just as long as you devote your time to mostly him, he's fine with whatever else you do.

[sleepysnk]

so im just curious… do you write for shinichiro?? the only thing on his masterlist were prompts and so i just wanted to check 🫶

if you do, do you mind writing hcs for his confession of his love?? what would he do, act like, etc…

thank you luvvv!! take your time, no rush! and make sure to drink and eat >:(💗

a/n: of course i write for shinichiro! he’s just the best big brother 🫶🏻. thank you for requesting this minx! mwah! 🤍

characters: shinichiro sano

warnings: fluff, mentions of crushes, confessions, shinichiro is very shy here, very fluffy content, brief mention of cigarettes

CONFESSING HIS LOVE.

shinichiro sano:

- i kind of see shinichiro being shy whenever he has a crush on somebody. he has a hard time clearly expressing his emotions without turning into a stuttering mess. he gets really blushy around the person he likes, and it’s honestly the cutest thing ever!!

- shinichiro wouldn’t know how or even if he should confess. it’s mainly because he thinks you’ll find some other guy or you think he’s corny, because his luck with women has been absolute shit. he doesn’t want to confess and then you completely deny his feelings, and make him feel like an idiot. he overthinks the whole situation and it’s kind of sad but also really funny.

- he probably tells wakasa his troubles and his friend tries to encourage him. they probably share a cigarette over the whole situation.

- shinichiro probably decided to confess to you at a park you both hung around at. he messaged you that he wanted to meet after work, and you gladly went because you enjoyed hanging out with shin. you didn’t really think much of it, so you decided to go.

- meanwhile, he was losing his shit. shinichiro went through almost a whole pack of cigarettes at work because he didn’t know what the hell he was going to say to you. he liked you for so long that it almost hurt him that you guys weren’t together, but regardless he’d respect you if you didn’t feel the same way. he just wanted you to know how you made him feel.

- when he arrived on his bike, you immediately went towards him, but you were really surprised to see that he held flowers in his hand. your favorite flowers.

- he was probably shaky when he handed you the flowers. you were immediately flattered by his actions. no man had ever bought you a bouquet of your favorite flowers, but you were confused when you saw the blush that had painted across his cheeks. he also could hardly look you in the face. you were so pretty in the summer sun that he could almost kiss you from how your beauty reflected in front of him.

- “shin, is everything okay?”

- he lost his shit. he swallowed and just started talking. his words were very much jumbled around and honestly he stuttered many times from how nervous he was. he also couldn’t maintain eye contact with you at all.

- you were speechless. you understood what he was trying to say, but you weren’t expecting such a confession from the guy you had been friends with.

- he was a mess. you didn’t have much of a reaction which is what made him regret telling you in the first place. he thought you were about to shut him down and tell him that you weren’t interested in being with him. something he had been quite used to for the longest time.

- when you started giggling and reached for his hand, he almost fell over.

- you honestly thought that his confession was adorable and you had your own confession to give him. shinichiro turned bright pink when you started gushing about how handsome he was and how you genuinely weren’t expecting such a thing to be said. shinichiro was just staring at you with such awe that he honestly thought you were joking.

- it was so cute <3 he gave you a hug and just smiled all cheeky to himself.

- “i appreciate the flowers you know..” “r-really?! i mean.. only the best for a person like you.”

- he eventually takes you home and he leaves a little smooch on your cheek. it’s so fucking cute and you honestly melt at his actions.

[volvolts]

(Here's a smart idea: an ask thread for discussion lol)

Hey Volts! I'm Natalia. She/Her. So what's YOUR interpretation of the Wittelore? For canon, I prefer a more balanced story where the brothers' tragedy hinged on BOTH of their bad decisions. Made alone, under the influence of major assumptions about what the other thought or wanted. (Very Sondheim-esque, à la Into the Woods.) Drives me nuts thinking of all the ways they could have feasibly missed actually communicating by Just That Much, yk?

Im so sorry this might be a long one because context needed

I headcanon that philip was born “cursed.” their mother had an affair with another man and has intense guilt over it. When she birthed philip, she went through an intense postpartum depression episode. Philip had bright blue eyes unlike her own brown or her husband’s dark blue, and as he grew older, he was an odd kid. He was left handed, had an interest in the macabre, and was just all around strange. The brothers’ parents were convinced her depression and philip being born different was punishment for her infidelity. Things get messy and long story short caleb and philip are orphans now. Philip was 7 and caleb was 13. 

I like the idea caleb and philip originally having similar values. They had a strong us against the world mentality, and wanted to be seen as heroes. I do want to preface this by saying that i like the idea of caleb being morally gray but i don’t think he would ever reach the levels of villainy that philip eventually displays. 

Philip just knew that he had to hide parts of himself if they wanted to live a “normal” life. Being “cursed” is all he knows and he believes that if they can become heroes and save their town of witches that means he can somehow stop being “cursed” since when they participated in the hunts, the town treated them better. This structure is all he knows and he doesn’t think there’s a way out of it, just a way to get them what they want.

Caleb is older and has a better grasp of how bad the world is and just wants to make sure he and his brother will be okay. I feel like he loves philip but i also feel like he has to be one of philip’s earliest enforcers of “being normal” he makes philip use only his right hand, tries to stifle his more out there interests, and forces philip to hang out with the other kids and gets upset when philip doesn’t want to/struggles making friends. Honestly im a big believer that he didn’t even believe in witches but still participated anyway because it gave them a better reputation and that it put the target away from them. I feel like maybe for a while he reveled in the attention. maybe an event where he sees how quickly the town turns on another would lead him to rethink this and so when he meets evelyn, he’s more willing to hear her out. This also gives him a realization that they don’t need to stay in gravesfield and can just leave it all behind. 

I feel like the brother’s biggest problem is that they Do Not Talk as they get older. Philip just gets upset and shuts down and caleb gets tired having to walk eggshells around him when he wants to talk about important stuff. Something would happen, they fight (the biggest arguments are usually philip is mad that caleb always tells him what he ought to be doing while caleb is mad that philip doesn’t seem to be trying hard enough), they blow off steam (usually caleb goes to the river, philip stays in his room), then in a couple hours, they pretend the fight never happened. Its also why caleb is reluctant to introduce evelyn to philip. I feel like one too many of these arguments and the resentment that comes with it makes caleb do his first selfish act of leaving his brother behind while he follows evelyn to the demon realm. He didn’t expect Philip to follow him and the look of shock on philip’s face before the portal closes still haunts him. He spends years rationalizing it to himself. Philip wanted to stay so he never would have followed him anyway. Maybe philip will eventually thrive in gravesfield. If he stayed, caleb knew deep in his bones he would live an unhappy and unfulfilling life and no matter how much he loves his brother he cannot give up his own happiness for him forever. (if we follow that caleb helped make the portal key, we can even argue that he might’ve avoided ever going back because he was ashamed to see philip again) Every night he prays to the titan that philip will be fine without him, that he’ll move on. Oh how wrong he was

as for philip’s time in gravesfield before going to the demon realm, i actually plan to write it for my too late au! in general i feel like the wittebane backstory would have to be It Gets Worse through the selfishness and lack of communication between them and by the time they could talk again, the resentment is too strong for them to reach a middle ground

[connorjared]

there are so many things I could say and back up with my annotations but there are some things I want to say

- connor is an unreliable narrator, but in an interesting way. unlike evan, connor's text is purposely written like he's trying to seem WORSE than he is. that's why I think rereading the book as an adult (especially if you have worked with kids) is so incredibly tragic. it's easier to see every way he was utterly failed both personally and systemically when you are no longer the child being failed personally and systemically

- connor is canonically a victim of the troubled teen industry and says it was BETTER than rehab. this genuinely breaks my heart because you can catch little pieces of CPTSD throughout his text and dialogue—he becomes extremely defensive and assumes evan is "tricking him into looking crazy," he states relief there's no longer anyone "waiting around the corner to catch him or check for red in his eyes" this child was treated like a criminal and the one place he felt safe in was removed when he chose to take the blame for something that he didn't do (see below)

- connor taking the fall for his... situationshipfriend miguel because he knew his parents were rich enough and he was white enough to get a more lenient punishment for WEED (which. the criminalization of that and the stigma is a whole OTHER thing) this haunts me. the act itself is noble, unhealthily self sacrificing, but that's not what gets me. his proclaimed friend not only allows him to do this, but even after connor GOES TO REHAB FOR HIM miguel doesn't tell his own mom the truth, causing her to ban the two of them hanging out and connor LOSES his only safe space right after undergoing rehab that he never even needed

- connor canonically has been put on and off multiple medications , we unfortunately don't know when this started but we DO know it was not in his control. SSRIs take a long time to work and shouldn't be switched quickly even for adults, let alone teenagers, and they ESPECIALLY should not be used as stand-ins for accommodations of a disability. there's far more I could say about other medications this might have been such as an SNRI (which connor has said to have less than favorable opinions of) and this is possibly even MORE concerning

- there has been a BUZZ on tiktok about how zoe was a girl icon for being forced to mourn her "abusive brother" and while they definitely had a toxic sibling dynamic fed by their toxic parental dynamic, the idea the toxicity was one sided is just... wrong. not even subjectively, the narrative WANTS you to know this is wrong, at least in the book. the musical... lets just say, im glad they wrote the book. it doesn't undo the honestly pretty shit messaging of the musical, but it adds context that helps derail claims like the one above that add further stigma to victims of suicide. zoe is verbally degrading to connor in recollections and in the small amount of time we hear her speak about him (though, this does change as her character develops throughout the book and she begins to mourn him properly.) zoe is a glass child. she resents all of the negative attention connor received because she didn't get any attention at all. so, she often sides with larry through the book, who is said to have more or less gotten tired of connor and considered him attention seeking, which would be something INCREDIBLY validating for a glass child to hear. zoe is, unfortunately and ironically, often written with detail but no substance. evan, who I could talk about at length and very angrily, constantly prattles small things he notices about her—but, and im not sure if this is the author's intention or not, she barely gets any true characterization outside of her interactions with others, which strangely almost makes her a side character (which i suppose she is) but there are some core parts of HER identity and her character alone that can be picked up throughout the book and i could go on for hours about that and i will not now but i will

- i didn't even touch on cynthia and larry and their abuse (yes! people can love their children and be abusive) but by god i will. by god

dear evan hansen fandom please interact. if u disagree i will probably point an autism beam at you in the form of a personally crafted video essay on why I am right and you are wrong. I have read this book inside and out

[charlestrask]

Am I the only one genuinely confused about Liam and Noel's current relationship status? Sometimes it feels like what changed is that Noel started to talk to him and that's all. Nothing major. Also I felt some awkward energy from the photoshoot, like Liam was trying to keep some distance.

I wanna be really happy for their reconciliation but sometimes it doesn't feel like one?? Maybe seeing them on stage will change my perception

i mean honestly who know until we actually see them interact. its almost certainly pretty awkward between them just because i dont see how you could go having a very public 15 year seperation feud with someone and then reconcile and not have it be at least a little awkward. liam seems happy which is overall a good sign to me. and the fact that they've got SO many show dates planned means that noel has to be fairly confident that they will actually be able to be around each other for that long. it would be helpful to know when they actually started talking again but im sure that and all other information related to the reconciliation is information that they are very intentionally NOT sharing because the lack of info builds anticipation. personally even if part of why noel is doing this is money-related, i believe that he does have such strong convictions, Especially when it comes to his music career, that he would not be doing this if he didn't want to and if he didn't think it would work out. and maybe part of it working out is they try to keep reporters and photographers out of the brother relationship which is unfortunate for us but maybe good for them. or they're just trying to save content for the documentary.

regarding photoshoot awkwardness a) i can see very realistically in a reconciliation situation noel just going into it and acting as though everything is normal and liam acting somewhat wary/careful to not make the wrong move and scare noel off again. b) they are also just famously not photoshoot enthusiasts

[pumpkinsy0]

Ok this might seem stupid but hear me out, perhaps we could get some headcanons of papercut in the events of the book but instead of Johnny it was Curly who stabbed the soc and him and Pony had to run away together? It would also be cool to see what the Curtis AND Shepard gangs reactions are

this aint stupid,,,,ur onto something here,,,,

•ok look, not REALLY related but curly woulda loved that white trash w mustangs and madras line, this white on white violence gotta STOP💔💯

•ANYWAYS, i think he’d put up more of a fight, he’d try to get to pony but they were outnumbered so he gets cornered, HOWEVER, he always carries some weapon on him, or maybe he picked up a coke bottle, POINT IS, bob still died lmao

•i dont think curly and pony would stay around that area as long as johnny and pony did, curly would want to leave as soon as he could so nobody could see them, so ponys forced to just get it together in under like 2mins so they could leave, so ponys disassociating badly

•theyd go to tim, curly doesnt like dally and tim IS his older brother, then tim would tell dally, and they still end up at the dirty ass church</3

•now curlys shaken up too, like hes not trying to show it to look tough, but hes never done THAT before, never flat out hurt someone that badly before, but he still doesnt regret it bc it was to defend pony, however considering hes black in the 60s in TULSA, hes so certain a judge will not gaf that it was outta self defense, so actually hes disassociatin too, they both a lil fucked up rn

•back at home, dally didnt tell darry or soda where they were but tim sure as hell did, he gets what darrys goin through cause theyre both older bros worryin over their younger bros, darry doesnt know HOW to react at all to it, he doesnt tell soda nor johnny, or anyone really, when two bit says he’ll go to texas (i think it was,,,) to look for him, darry says not to bother, so they all feel like darry knows where pony is and they dint know wether to be happy or terrified bc why isnt he tellin em or getting him??

•when it comes to the shepard gang, tim did tell some of em whats going on, only his trusted guys tho, theres basically nothing they CAN do to stop word from spreading about it bc the socs who were there already went to the cops, so they all have to lay low for a while, stay in line cause tim quite honestly cant handle anything more rn

•angela’s pretty much losing it too, shes drinking more, way more irritable, if one of the shepards is gone, ALL of em r losing it dawg

•in the church, curlys trying to act like his normal self but u can tell that he’s damn near close to losing it cause this could mean prison or the death penalty, hes so sure hes done for and pony wants to reassure him but holy fuck it aint lookin too good, they do their normal banger but u can feel this somber tension between the two as if this is gonna b their last moments together

•curly is NOT talking about turning himself in at all, he’d rather kill someone else to NOT go actually, on top of that tims telling him to stay hidden, dallys tellin him to stay hidden, so thats how he knows hes GOTTA stay there

•NOW THE FIRE, just like dally, curly dont care that much bout those kids im ngl, but bc ponys running in there, now HE has to help, boooooo👎🏽👎🏽👎🏽👎🏽

•curly aint like johnny, hes grabbing those kids and pushing them out, whatever injuries they get outta that they gonna have to deal w later, its better than them being dead id think, when the church falls, honestly??? i think my main man curly gettin outta there in time, he lowkey DID push pony out the window cause he was taking too long and then jumped out bit aye, hes livin

•its either that or he risks it and takes the longer way out if like, the wood fell where the window was

•he aint livin without some injuries and scars tho, he did definitely break SOMETHING and got some burns on his hands and wherever else, but hes relatively fine, a part of the reason y is bc he wears a leather jacket, unlike johnny who wears a jean jacket, and jean jackets r more flammable, and as seen w pony, the leather jacket did help him a bit in that fire, he still is banged up tho

[theworldofotps]

Man Crush (Drabble)

Pairing: Jeff Hardy x OC Melissa Word Count: 874 Prompt: 'But friends don't look at each other like we do, if i kissed you, I don't think I'd be able to stop'

Hope you enjoy babes thank you for requesting @melissahausen ________ Tag list: @omg-im-such-a-masochist @melissahausen​ @new-zealand-chic @writtingrose​ @99hook @madhatterbri @sjwrites22​ @sassymox​ @mrsacklesevansmgk @xladyxfatex​ @adamcolesbaybay @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch​ @demonqueen29​ @itsicantbelievethis666​ @lilred91​ @rebellious-desires​ @claymorexpunisher @letsgivethisonemoreshot @ava-valerie​ @shortyiceheart @serpantscorpio8497​ @thatpanpal @thatnerdwriter​ @wrestlersownmyheart @vebner37​​ @seeingstarks​ @whenimakeitshine1234 @legit9thlunaticwarrior​ @blaquekitty @ironshamelessyouth​ @unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin @ripleyswhore @moonrosekk @xbreezymeadowsx @alyyaana  @elevennbloom @melblacc @alliwant456  @mcreignsera @auburnwrites​ @aews-four-pillars If you wanna be added to the list lemme know. ________

“It’s been three weeks Melissa, you’re either going to need to confess to Jeff that you like him or figure out something. You can’t keep avoiding him you two are so close and it’s bothering him knowing what’s wrong.”

Melissa sighed as she looked at Jeff’s older brother Matt, she did not know who else to turn to when her dreams about one of her best friends had started getting erotic. Sure, she knew that she had a crush on Jeff she had for years how could she not. But she didn’t know how to deal with the man when her mind tortured her at night with dreams of him caressing her flesh, watching his eyes as he dipped his head down to sample her wetness with his tongue.

After that first dream, she had a hard time looking him in the face, when the dreams wouldn’t stop she started avoiding him, afraid she’d reveal her secret. The only reason she told his brother was because she was desperate and needed some advice.

“I just worry it’s going to make him uncomfortable and that last thing I want is to do that to him. Part of me believes he may be flattered, but friends don’t look at each other the way we do.”

“Honestly, I can’t promise his reaction I don’t know how he’ll behave but regardless I’ll be here to help you and I truly believe it’s not going to harm your friendship if he doesn’t like it. You’ll always have us and I agree you two do look at each other different.”

“Thanks Matt, well I guess I better go find him.”

“Good luck kiddo.”

Waving, Melissa continued her way down the hall in search of Jeff while doing her best to try and keep herself together. It had been so hard avoiding him for three weeks and it was getting to the point where she wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep him from just cornering her at work.

“Hey Kenny, have you seen Jeff anywhere?”

She asked rubbing her hands together nervously as she looked at her friend who was on his phone. Kenny looked up smiling at her and nodded, motioning towards the left down the long corridore.

‘Locker room.’

He mouthed, giving him a quiet thanks she went towards the men’s locker room and pulled her phone out; sending Jeff a text to let him know she was here looking for him. After a few minutes the door opened, and Jeff smiled seeing her.

“Hey, give me a minute to get my stuff then we can walk, and talk do you have a ride?”

“Yeah, I got a ride with one of the girls but it’s fine.”

Nodding Jeff gathered his things and the two of them began making their way through the halls waving to coworkers or friends. The silence stretched between them neither knowing how to exactly start until Jeff did.

“Did I do something to upset you?”

“What?”

Melissa looked over at him before quickly shaking her head pushing a door open.

“No, you didn’t do anything I’m sorry for avoiding you lately I’m going to explain why I just it’s not as easy as I would hope for.”

Jeff nodded relieved to know he hadn’t upset or offended her in some way. He stayed quiet to let her gather her thoughts.

“You let your gray grow out?”

Melissa wondered aloud looking over at him Jeff smiled at her change of subject touching his face and hair he glanced at her.

“I did, do you like it?”

“I really like it honestly you suit gray pretty well.”

“Thank you.”

The two continued to walk in silence for a bit longer as Melissa decided it was just best to get it over with now.

“So the reason I’ve been avoiding you is I’ve been dreaming about you and I got confused.”

“That’s it? I dream about you too darling it’s not weird we dream about friends all the time it’s actually pretty normal.”

“No these are different my dreams have been well.”

Swallowing, she felt her cheeks heating up while her eyes darted to the floor suddenly interested in the concrete. She couldn’t believe she was going to just spit this out right here where anyone could possibly hear.

“They’re what?”

“On the more erotic side.”

“Oh? Erotic, OH.”

He exclaimed after a moment and stopped walking grabbing her arm to pull her to a stop and lifted her chin with his finger to get her gaze to meet his.

“You like me, don’t you?”

“Well, I mean it’s pretty obvious after what I just told you.”

“That’s no reason to avoid me we could have made those dreams a reality; you know sometimes I listen to you talking I just want to lean over and kiss you.”

Melissa could feel her heart pounding in her chest listening to his confession, she decided to be brave once more.

“Why don’t you kiss me now?”

“If I kissed you, I don’t think I’d be able to stop.” “What if I don’t want you too.”

Jeff smiles cupping her cheeks gently lowering his lips to her in a kiss sweeter than either could have ever hoped for.

[yourlocalpurplekinnie]

What is this.

Honestly?? Just why would someone think this is a good idea???

Why do they keep trying to force the twins into romantic subplots when the other one of them is im danger???? Like the one with Zeyet and Yuhi wasn’t really too upfront because that was more people going “oooo are you guys on a date” rather than an actual one.

I enjoyed that episode with Yuhi and Zeyet as well. Not because of what it was on the surface level but rather how I interpreted it as.

I saw it as him being overwhelmed with everything and desperately wanting to get himself some more time, some time to ensure he doesn’t break down immediately. And while he wasn't able to duel his sister, which I've seen people saying that episode was pointless because of that, I think that he needed that break, that moment of feeling as if he's a normal teen again (well as normal as a yugioh character's life does get) and - ultimately - that's why I believe he was able go steel himself to sacrifice himself for his sister.

He was able to have a good last day before everything happened, and even if he can't remember it, then maybe the people who were there could remember him fondly.

I don't think he would have picked to hang out with Zeyet, Sabyuas and Zwijo on his last day willingly but he still needed time away.

Some people might just have viewed him being insecure about his silly outfit as just a stupid thing to have before the big finale to the arc but I viewed it as him trying to be that "absolute life form" like his sister is likened to. After all, they did a good job at hammering in the fact that everyone around Yuhi felt as if he didn't have that same resolve as Yuamu does. The scene where the UTS employees are talking about how Yuhi depended on Yuamu when they got their first homework really stuck with me in this regard. It's SUCH a small thing to mention but to have it when people like Zwijo are talking about Yuamu's resolve and her willingness to throw herself away??

Honestly pretty good writing in that regard not gonna lie.

Though, I don’t think I’m gonna enjoy this episode when I am able to watch it.

Mostly because it’s Zwijo whose she thinking about.. and that there are ACTUAL feelings going on.. like PLEASE do not go this route Yugioh Go Rush. If this turns out to be the case I will actually just be so mad.

Especially the queercoding we got from Zwijo because that would be yet another character like that that’s forced away from a queer relationship. And I’m not saying it’s not a possibility for Zwijo to be bi or pan or something else, I think having that set up with Yuudias only to throw it away would be BAD.

Especially seeing as though the dub is gonna be using the “diversity” to promote the show to people.

And why the hell is Zeyet gonna be telling Yuamu that Zwijo’s her “fated one” in the first place??? Is it to try and distract her from her brother or something?? I’m not sure and I’m scared to have to find out…

Anyways, this wouldn’t be complete without talking about Yuna. Because instead of exploring her character more of how shes like WITHOUT someone she fawning over all the time, they decided to move her onto YUGA of all people and say shes had a crush on him and shit??

I believed she was a lesbian at first and after some grief of her getting a big, big crush on a guy, I just accepted it because she still clearly loved Rovian and I was being a little too silly over that!!! So bisexual Yuna is still there.

But yeah I want to explore HER character more.

Because she’s clearly obsessive and codependent on people she likes (Rovian and Yuga). And she seems to NEED that favourite person and constantly wanting to be around them and honestly if we got to explore that and the self destructiveness that comes with that I would be hooked. Not only would it be a very interesting watch, it would develop her character greatly outside of her relationship with another character (something I really thought that was gonna happen when she left the Rovian bandits), but it would make her a really relatble character to me and probably many other people.

Yes, I know this isn’t the type of show to expect that sort of thing BUT Go Rush has had wonderful moments, moments that have made me cry and ones I regularly think about.

To drop the ball with the characters like this over and over again is basically just killing off the audience.

I plan to watch until the end but I don’t think this will be my favourite generation at all. It has times I love it and times where I wanna just erase episodes entirely. The characters are ones Ive gotten attached to and so I wanna know what happens next with them and its up to the writers to make that worth while or not.

I will give them one thing though they’re so good at writing finales a lot of the time. Like I dont think I need to mention how amazing the Yuudias and Zwijo confession scene?? Or the Yuga vs Yuhi -> Yuamu vs Yuhi -> Yuamu vs Yuudias. The impact that had on me was immense. That was definitely an amazing thing for Yuamu’s character and of course the most recent finale - the one where Yuhi became Otes.

Unfortunately, I saw spoilers for it beforehand so I wasnt able to go into it blind but I still cried over it. Especially when Yuhi sported his old UTS outfit. That really got to me.

Yuhi also slowly forgetting Yuamu?? Torn me apart.

From what I heard from the current arc, it’s not really shaping up. I haven’t watched it yet as I use the subs that Entame Subs put out and they’re kn hiatus now but that just means for a binge spree when they come out /hj. The focuses of the episodes are quite random to pick of all times I think??

But alas I’ll have to see how I react to them when I’m able to watch them.

Not too much optimism despite the amount I want to have because welll… while they do nice finales they don’t always do good episodes before that..

I don’t think I’ll hate Go Rush though. It would be tremendously hard to make me hate it really unless they do something REALLYYYY REALLLLYY bad. So let’s just all hope for a good outcome for this series.

[justallihere]

i'm going insane bc i was away for the weekend and left my phone alone (god bless) and came back to a whole chapter PLUS love declaration PLUS forehead kiss ?? omg.....

Mira is not letting Xaden rest like ever, I do wonder what Violet told her while Xaden was prepping her bath tho.

“Not if it bothers you, they can’t,” said Xaden. “I’ll make sure they keep it away from you.” 

oh he wants violet to be comfortable so baaaad he's the embodiment of "is the sun bothering you queen" and im so here for it.

i'm totally fine and sane over xaden washing violet's hair im not kicking my feet or anything and im definetely not crying over how soft they are and how much trust must violet have on him bc she's letting him touch her hair after it being threatned to be cut.

forehead touches are my faaaav so u can imagine how well fed i am after this chapter and for that i say thank you alli *dramatically bows*

Xaden not wanting her to feel like she wasnt love so he just declares himself to her had me weak, like it could've been this grand gesture but nothing between them has ever been planned or expected so he just winged it and it was perfectly what she needed. talk about soulmates !!

when u told us the declaration was gonna hurt i didnt have this imagined in my mind but im so glad it happened this way and not the way i thought it was gonna happen. it was so bittersweet !!

ALSO she def knows she loves him shes just not ready to admit it bc in no way in hell would she ask him to say after he declared himself if she didnt know she also felt something

also the way they first slept i know xaden neck was complaining

also violet reminded me of a cat who always try to get closer in their sleep. she just wants to cuddle !! and shes so real for that

Rhiannon is truly a bestie!! not her terrorrizing the love interest we love a ride or die bestie, even if sometimes she's unresonable

“You whisked her away before anyone could check on her.” 

bestie there was not one single part of her that wasnt broken what was the man supposed to do *cries* but i do understand her stress

SLOANE MAIRI !!! not her calling the king of tyrrendor her brother i love that for her !! she's a princess so true. also i looove xaden and liam's talk it wasnt too cheesy bc tbh they dont operate like that but it was so genuine !!

can the guards chill !!

Garrick is just like me!! i too love gossip and will put my hands on it as soon as i can. but garrick its been like 12 hours wait a little longer or violet herself will call u out again. but also not garrick begging xaden no rule to country and he's just like "no <3" love that for him his wife just got back running a country is very far from his mind.

“Is that what you told her to do?” Rhiannon raised an eyebrow. “Get over it?” “No, but you’re not her, are you?”

He's so ??!!

the development of violet a few chapters ago being like "he didnt hold me while we slept bc there had been no excuses for it in Aretia" to now being like "im gonna curl into your arms so hard you'll never escape" and honestly good for them !!

anywayyyy i LOVED this chapter

lol a lot happened this weekend, welcome back!!!

Xaden’s literal one and only concern is Violet and her comfort, fuck everything else. I’m totally not fine and sane about the hair washing so I guess we balance each other out 🫶🏻

They are very much soulmates!! Xaden didn’t plan to fall in love with her, of course he didn’t plan some grand declaration of it either, we’re just going with what feels right. Violet is a grumpy little kitten yes you’re right

Rhiannon is stressed as hell, like give her best friend back RIORSON where is she

Garrick needs both gossip and for Xaden to do his job and he’s getting neither of those things! Too bad so sad!

Thank you!!!! 🩷

[stackslip]

augh yeah as much as i do love the parts of COS that are very obviously trying to do something competent and genuine, the amestris parts are just so ????

ill be honest, im pretty sure i blocked those scenes out, so remembering that what happened on the amestris side is. yikes

definitely wish the movie was more focused and didnt try to add as much as it did. especially roy -- i dont mind the beginning, hell i think him exiling himself to the north is a good concept, but the fact that he takes back his position (iirc) is just. so are we throwing away the character development and him realizing that he CANT change the military from the inside or what.

in general i honestly wanted to see less of the military cast. they frankly dont have much reason to be there other than the fact people wanted to see them (esp armstrong... just. WHY). im sure there are still ways to work in roy if the creators really wanted him to be there but like. idk! they sure didnt have to do it like that! we couldve spent more time on exploring noah as a character. or let izumi die on screen. sigh

been a while since i rewatched COS but thanks for pointing out all the weird stuff, i'd almost forgotten it and i honestly shouldn't.

(and of course i have to say i love your posts on the series proper. i will never be normal about scar. ever)

the second i saw roy in there i was like why is roy still in the military at all. wasn't his whole arc about realizing that he can't do shit within the military because it is an institution built on atrocities and exploitation? why is he still in it then. why is he talking about serving his country. why's he talking about waiting for ED that makes no fucking SENSE. (why is he alive. someone said they thought roy was supposed to die by the end of 03 but they kept him alive bc he's a fan fave and i wholly believe this frankly). why is the country's military still seemingly intact with a whole surveillance network, when 03 ended on the military being severely crippled and amestris's neighbours getting ready to invade it and bring it to its knees? why are we literally seeing *the fucking weimar republic* in cos only for amestris to not parallel it in any way and instead be the brotherhood-type funland where once you've taken out the mean führer, everything is fine and there's nothing to fix?

and like. this is a short movie right! i know that they were denied a season, maybe even a season and a half to finish off the show and that some elements of cos were meant to be in the og show's ending. and it shows! bc again munich is fucking reasonably competent considering how much is crammed in on hour thirty. and i know that cos's production was also rushed as hell and that as an Anime Movie they were contractually obligated to 1) put as many recurring fan faves in as possible 2) have at least a third of the movie be a big action scene. so like. i can understand the limits. you have no time, you're told you have to put all this shit in, you want to finish off the brothers' story at the very least. but my gd! you're telling me you had an izumi death scene and it doesn't happen??? you could cut roy out ENTIRELY from this. you could not put ARMSTRONG IN LIORE. you could..... i know they had no time at all, i know once again it was 03 being shafted by production committees and time and budget but it's legit insane how the very stupid and seemingly innocuous choice of having armstrong "rebuild" liore comedically completely slapped me out of whatever headspace cos had managed to slip me in before. i was enjoying it a lot until we got to amestris. and this armstrong thing, followed by rose's line here:

it's just. it's almost comedic. i'm almost wondering if the writer is fucking with me here and acknowledging just how stupid it is to put armstrong doing alchemy in liore is. probably not but gd this is bad. this is brotherhood levels of obliviousness to the themes.

anyhow i'm not finishing cos tonight bc i'm too pissed about it lol. it's funny bc for years i was told it was bad but for the opposite reasons that it's actually bad. like folks kept saying the munich parts were bad/stupid/wrong and made no sense when to me they're by far the most thematically coherent and interesting/emotional bits of it. i LOVE the relationship between noah and ed. and like, i know the bar is is in hell when it comes to depicting roma on screen, but i can't help but appreciate the little and big ways both noah and her people get humanized, how they feel like the most real and concrete part of this world ed insists is a dream or hell. but really, genuinely noah is so good, alfons's weird crush on ed is hysterical, the general atmosphere and research around 1923 munich seems genuinely thoughtful (and it also tells me that the writers had been thinking about this long, long before even 03 ended). i genuinely believe that making munich! hugues a nazi sympathizer and a racist is a really inspired and brave choice that makes the audience reflects THEIR hugues and how the amestrian military behaved. so anyhow these parts are good, genuinely. it's sad that that's the first third and then you get thrown into this mess, and there's still a whole stupid nazi battle to come. it's stupid. it's stupid especially bc there's a genuine part of the movie that IS smart and thoughtful. it'd be so much easier if all of it were bad, or if the difference between the writing in each part weren't so obvious. anyhow. i wanna finish cos bc i wanna see wrath's arc end and envy eating hoheinheim and ed/al reunion and more of noah. but also i think i'm gonna be writing off large chunks of it lol.

(also thank you very much, i'm trying to preach 03 to whoever i can whenever i can. appreciate the love)

[twitchmattentusiast]

hiii i don’t have a big enough blog but im sure you’ll be able to get ppl to help if you blog this??

https://www.tumblr.com/jasmiedhillon4/767017822600773632/i-never-imagined-id-be-in-a-position-where-id

stop thank you so much for sharing this!!!!!

i’ve read the description of the fundraiser and to try and convince you guys to donate im going to share some reasons why this kinda hits home and why im sharing this.

i don’t tell many people about this and honestly? i only started telling people four years ago and that was because 14 year old me broke down and revealed everything by accident.

i’ve lived in an abusive household. if you couldn’t tell by my nickname already i have ethnic backgrounds and abuse is unfortunately normal for people of my culture. but the lengths of abuse i dealt with were not normal.

there’s double standards in my religion. and that’s half the reason why personally i step back from it. the only time i do religious activities it to accompany my grandparents (mostly my grandma) who usually goes by herself but since im visiting ill go with her just to keep her company.

im sikh and in my religion it is very common for men to drink alcohol. its shameful for women to drink alcohol. now listen, i do drink alcohol and the females in my family do too but we’ve always drank in moderation never to a high extent. though my mum was a raging alcoholic.

my mum always had problems with alcohol. according to my uncles when she was my age she used to drink so much she’d frequently end up in the hospital. when she had me though she stopped and for years she’d have one drink every once in a while until she met my step dad.

now my step dad was an abusive alcohol asshole. he physically and mentally abused my mother and mentally abused me. when my mum kicked him out she fell into depression, and she had to blame someone so she blamed me.

i didn’t mind i used to be close to her so i let her do it. at first it was only mentally and i had already been dealing with that since i was 5 so it didn’t affect me but it quickly turned physically.

lockdown was the worst time of my life. i would hide in my room. i was so scared to go downstairs that i wouldn’t eat. i fell into depression, distanced myself from my friends i closed myself off completely. and when we restrictions were lifted my uncle came to visit and i broke down and told him everything.

since then my relationship with my mother has been non-existent. she blames me for having to marry my step dad, ruining her relationship with her family all those kinds of things.

i thought that i’d be stuck in that house forever. that id never get out. but i have. it was she’d, not easy and there’s still days that are really hard. im estranged from my mother now.

i still talk to my little sisters and my mums side of the family but not her.

all i ever wanted to do was leave. to escape the abuse and be able to live a life with no fear.

so please, please, please help this girl and her little brother. even donating a little can help so much and it can make her realise she is NOT alone.

this was very personal to share but i’m starting to tell myself that it’s okay to share things because there’s people around you who could be suffering too and you have no idea.

so if there’s anyone who’s dealing with similar situations please know that you are not alone. my inbox is always open or if you just want to talk one on one you can dm me.

i love all of you and i really hope this girl gets the help she needs.

love nim.