#honestly i. really dont even like talking about this bc it makes me rly nervous. but i felt like i had to say it bc. well. things need 2 be

[imaginarianisms]

uhh. okay. uh. i'm trying to like. come up w/ words but it's hard bc. autism. but uh. basically as long as you're not hurting people irl & everything's tagged whenever necessary, i genuinely dont care at all what you ship or not as long as nobody irl get hurt. i. don't care what dark topics you write about (or don't! not everything has to be doom & gloom) either. i write about a Lot of dark topics, especially to cope with trauma. nobody has the right to take that from me. a lot of my characters (& the i.ntrojects they are based on because remember they are muses but they're Also i.ntrojects, these are actual members of our s.ystem with feelings of their own) are flawed & traumatized. especially as a survivor of a lot of these said taboo things that most people in general dont like to talk about because they think it's a "dirty" subject myself as an actual survivor w/ did, i've said this before many times on this blog, i'm a c.sa survivor, i'm a c.ult survivor, i'm an i.ncest survivor & i'm no longer afraid to talk about it bc i'm with friends (i hope). it's vital. it's healing. it's important that it's talked about so people who've experienced these things don't feel alone. i can open up about it here. there's some stuff i'm uncomfortable with & i won't write, sure, there's some things i choose not to write that other moots of mine will & i'm not going to be holding that against them for writing about a topic or not (unless if like idk a portrayal of a character is racist or ableist, you get the point, hopefully) & just because I Don't Write Something Does Not Mean I'm Telling You Not To. that's silly imo.

that has Nothing to do with me or my trauma because a) i can differentiate between fiction & reality & b) it's. really weird. in the year 2024 that people will straight up automatically assume just because you write about a topic that somehow automatically means you support something irl when you. Don't Know That, You Do Not Know The Person & c) It's Not About Me & That's Okay & d) people shouldn't go around telling people what they should or shouldn't write as a general rule, we're all grown adults here, that's rude, unless, again, you're politely telling someone that something's off like idk someone writing ableist or racist about a character, don't just go guns blasting ESPECIALLY when you Already Know That Someone Writes About Dark Topics & You Continue Looking At It Anyway ie someone writes a muse that's a serial murderer & you don't like gore & you continue to follow that blog anyway. thats on You. that is Your responsibility. tags exist for a reason. as long as everything's tagged it should be fine) about a specific topic, that wouldn't Change anything. said topics would still exist even if every single person stopped writing about a topic. cults would still exist even if everyone were to stop writing about it. my trauma would still exist even if everyone were to stop writing about the specific things i went through. if i don't like something, all i gotta do is just keep scrolling or if necessary block a tag. (not a whole lot triggers me, there's a difference between squicks & triggers & i'm. tired of people conflating the two when they're entirely different things). i hate to say it because it should be obvious but people don't magically wake up one day & decide to do weird shit for the shits & giggles. there's this weird increasing trend to obsessively search for "problematic" media or "problematic" characters in media to justify demonizing or cancelling it (i'm not talking about like i.e t.wilight where it has actual harmful consequences for n.ative people, i'm talking about people Looking for shit to get mad at & then get shocked that people are like "?") & i'm gonna be honest, a Lot of this is starting to sound like conservative bookburning & a lot of this sounds like the shit my old c.ult leaders used to tell me. it's really that simple. what matters most of all is education about said topics that tbh i find sorely lacking. let's educate people first on what something actually is (for instance, an actual cult & signs) & then people will decide what to do about it & how they portray something. because regardless of what someone else does (& this was something i've had to accept over the years), Not Everything Is Made For Me & That's Okay, I Am Safe Now.

idk i just find that people (in general, i promise it's not at anyone in particular, it's just something i've been meaning to talk about for a long while after seeing some stuff on my dash both on my personal blog & on seeing some stuff in the asoiaf fandom & ngl a bunch of other fandoms too from like years ago so like please don't take this personally /srs) are like way too eager to jump to conclusions about people about all this different stuff when you literally don't know them, that's another person sitting on the other side of that screen that has feelings & sentiments the same way you do. i'm 24. i'm grown (& still growing!). if i've somehow caused offense by not making myself clear enough i'm sorry. that's an autism thing. can we stop acting like this. pls. i'm a grown ass adult & what do i do when i see smth i find wonky or squicky? (& even then sometimes something can fluid)? i look at it rq then i go "oh. thats wonky, oh well thats none of my business!!", i then mind my own business then i keep scrolling. not everyone's writing journey is gonna be the exact same way & that's OKAY. don't hold other people back just because it's not the way YOU write things. you're not better than anyone else. like i've straight up heard of people in a fandom saying "oh you like [x] because [y] portrays [x]" when that person is literally a survivor of that trauma. please. people. stop this shit. quit acting like you give a shit about trauma survivors when you only think there's one way of being a trauma survivor, the "perfect" survivor. learn media literacy. stop clutching pearls. people can skip certain scenes. i think people forget that some media are Meant to be uncomfortable. it's Meant to unsettle you. sometimes things are written as a warning. see: midsommar, a LOT of other horror media, a fuckton of gothic fiction, all of that shit. if you genuinely can't handle a theme, you're under no obligation to consume it but acting as if they have no purpose or as if people, ESPECIALLY survivors, don't have a right to tell these stories, stories that often relate to the darkest most disturbing parts of their life, do some introspection. ask yourself Why you think that. nothing wrong with self reflection. obviously, that's not to say there's no room for critique or concern but u get what i'm saying i hope. you can like something or even a character without endorsing the topics involved therein or the character(s) in question. sometimes things that are dark & disturbing can be cathartic for people who've been through absolute hell but i'm Also not going to be judging people for being like "okie dokie this isn't for me!!", that's okay, people don't have to consume anything they genuinely can't handle, that's why communication is literally SO important in all kinds of things but like don't force other people in your bubble when they wanna be in their own bubble ykwim. we're all different. do what makes You happiest.

it isn't that big of a deal irl (unless if we're talking about the obvious like racism, homophobia, transphobia, queerphobia, etc). basically what i'm trying to say is like. there's honestly way more shit to be worried about than what someone writes or rps. don't be the type of person to be morally outraged at what other grownass consenting adults are doing because there's gonna be shit that dont make sense to ya. Try to be compassionate towards other people. give other people a chance to talk if you're able to. even if you don't always agree with what they're saying. if you need to, do what needs to be done. every single person deserves respect & what we're Not going to do in the year 2024 is act shitty towards each other just because we don't agree on smth. what we're Not going to do is use people's real traumas for discourse points no matter which "side" (i guess) you fall onto. more than anything, i (& we) believe in nuance, kindness, compassion & respect for each other. we're s.hipcourse/f.andom disk horse unaligned. We Just Work Here.

[kyuala]

7 minutes in heaven with cravity

a/n: these are all assuming ur comfortable w it of course! no smut here.

serim

he wants to kiss you like he REALLY wants to kiss you but the first thing he's gonna do is make sure you're comfortable

homeboy does get a little bashful before making a move

holds you sooooo tight BRO his hands are gonna be firmly placed on your waist or your ass if u let him

doesnt wanna jump the gun or seem clingy but will continue things after the 7 minutes are up if u want tbh

allen

honestly before anything he can't believe his luck like he was expecting literally anyone else but you

a gentleman through and through like sir this isn't a date at a fancy restaurant but thank you for holding the closet door open for me anyways

wants to kiss you but is also down to just talk the entire time you're there

if you kiss he'll make sure to bring his A game to ensure you'll wanna do this again outside the closet hehe

will want to stay by your side the rest of the night tbh but he'll be chill if you need space

jungmo

nervous but excited. a lil blushy too

avoids eye contact unless you show him you want to kiss him too, then he's like 👁️👄👁️ at you

wants things to stay soft n chill and will take it slow bc honestly he's not worried abt the time limit. he just wants to enjoy this time with you

i feel like he would have the softest of touches and he would quietly giggle a lot too 😔 pls

he's a lil bashful afterwards but he's also like this :] the rest of the night

woobin

u know that surprised lil face he does? thats his reaction right up until you gotta walk into that closet

i honestly dont know what he would do lmfao i feel like he wouldn't rly try anything bc he doesn't wanna disrespect u somehow or he would just say something like "we dont have to do anything u dont wanna do"

idk man if yall do end up kissing i feel like he wouldn't really be as nervous outwardly? like he would be rly chill, take things slow and keep taking little breaks, reassuring you if needed

rly mysterious abt what went down in the closet when u both walk out like his friends will ask and he will just stay silent

wonjin

he's gonna be soooo cocky it's like he thinks you used telekinesis to make the bottle point to him yourself or something

once inside the closet he actually has no idea what to do lmfao

he WOULD be all talk if he wasn't also fucking insane so once he snaps out of it he'll be all up on you

walks out with this dopey look on his face and tells his friends he's found the one and that he's gonna marry you even tho y'all just made out a little bit

minhee

thinks this is weird

didn't even wanna play in the first place

if he's already attracted to you tho he might start to reconsider a little bit

will not go beyond a few kisses tho and his hands stay on your back at all times

walks out red as tomato like bro he just wants to go home (and maybe text you later to say he enjoyed himself)

hyeongjun

as soon as the bottle stops he just Freezes .

most likely to just blurt out a random compliment bc he's nervous and you're hot and that makes him even more nervous

he wants to come closer, he wants to kiss you but he just doesn't know what to do with himself so he'll just bashfully and uncertainly inch closer to you while dropping hints if you don't take the first step

it will all be rly cute and soft with him no matter the desire between you two, pls 🤕

taeyoung

excited but hides it well (he might do a lil victory dance when he thinks ur not looking)

tries to make light conversation first instead of jumping right into it, makes a few jokes here n there to break the tension

does not complain when you get right into the kiss though, i mean who is he to say no

will probably want to keep things chill for the 7 minutes

high-fives his friends when y'all walk out but he's not an asshole about it

seongmin

wants to die right from the get-go

if u thought minhee's blush was bad you should see seongmin's, it's BAD

will stay frozen in a corner as far away from you as possible if you don't take the initiative to get closer

his face is burning and his heart is thumping in his chest from a simple liplock but he battles it like a champ bc he wants you to think he's a good kisser and want to kiss him again

has logged out from the moment the bottle stopped like everything his friends or even you say to him afterwards just doesn't register he's in space man

main masterlist | cravity masterlist

[soulwillower]

butterflies • mike hanlon

(mike hanlon x reader)

requested:  Can you write something for Mike? Whenever you have time of course😊 I don’t mind if it’s smut or fluff, imagine or head cannons. I just really need more Mike in my life💗 thank you -🃏 p.s ilysm

warning: swearing, brief mentions of sex thx richie (and stan and bill), just fluffy stuff, underage drinking, unedited

[losers + reader are 18 in this.]

i wrote this rly quickly bc i just had an idea and im in love w mike, i hope u guys enjoy! i also made this gender neutral 

♡

1.8k words

"what're you staring at, toots?" a cheeky voice pulls you out of your daydream.

you look to your left and stare at richie, cheeks heating up. "what are you talking about?" you ask, feeling flustered. your friend chuckles, the lenses of his glasses glinting in the midday sun.

 it's hot today - you, eddie, and richie had just crawled from the quarry to rest on blankets, your skin warm and hair dripping onto your bodies as you watch the others swim.

in the distance, a bout of laughter grabs your attention and you focus on your friends. mike's got bev in his arms as he tosses her through the water, flying and both of them laughing. you smile, watching mike's back muscles move, his blinding smile as he wipes water from his eyes. 

bill socks him on the shoulder lightly in jest and mike turns his head with a laugh. and then mike's warm eyes are locking with yours from far away and your stomach flutters. he waves, and you softly wave back. 

"uh, that."

you look back with a frown to eddie, who's staring at you with a straight look. richie's got the same one on his own angular face and you scowl at them, crossing your arms. "i don't know what you're on about. you guys are assholes, anyways." you mutter the second part, toe nudging the sand at the edge of your towel.

"it's okay, y/n.

your eyebrows lift and you sigh, surprised by the moment of sincerity from the boy who's always joking.

"then you can finally fuck him all you want."

"wait, now. y/n fucking who?" stan asks, walking up with a grin and flanked by ben and bev on either side. they all fall to the ground and shake their hair out with towels or grab their phone.

"obviously mike. who else?" eddie adds, tossing you a smirk. you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. a quick glance proves that bill and mike are still in the water, making their way over slowly but in deep conversation. at least they're out of earshot.

"yeah, she's been hung up on him since the seventh grade. we're eighteen now, doll. it's time."  richie says this with a half-full mouth of beer, prompting you, ben, bev, stan, and eddie all to give him a grossed out look.

"oh fuck off, tozier, leave her alone." stan mumbles, digging through the cooler to pull out a beer and handing one to eddie before pulling his keys to open his own. "you jealous, stanny?" richie mutters, making kissy noises. you roll your eyes and crack a grin despite your embarrassment.

"please. y/n's all mike's, none for me. he's just as hung up on her." stan mutters with a grin and you toss a rock at him in annoyance. god, they're the worst.

"she's also a person, you know." bev says, sending a pointed look to the boys just as bill and mike walk over, towels around their shoulders.

"y/n? a p-person? not so sure." bill teases, winking at you. you stick your tongue out at him, just glad they'd only caught the tail-end of that conversation. mike sits next to you, handing you a cold beer with a warm smile.

you feel those stupid butterflies again.

"i don’t know. y/n's pretty human to me." mike mutters as he wipes his face with his hand. you grin into your knees, feeling flustered and very, very, very infatuated with the boy next to you.

richie groans with a teasing smile, "see! that's what im talking about, are you guys j-" he makes a loud grunt then as ben whacks him in the stomach.

x

later that night, two more beers and four slices (you were so hungry) of pizza later, you find yourself gazing up at the stars. being at mike's house was one of your favorite things ever. besides the most obvious reason, the one that makes you flush, you do like coming to the farm because it's far enough away from the town that the stars are clear and you can lay and stare at them for hours.

luckily, mike kept his window screen removed so he himself could go on the roof, so after everyone had fallen asleep, you'd tip toed up to his room to crawl onto the roof. you'd also tried to hide your disappointment as you opened his door and he wasn't there - he hadn't been asleep downstairs with the others so you'd assumed he'd gone to sleep in his own bed.

nonetheless, you were up here now and it was perfect - the crickets chirping and frogs croaking in the creek a few yards to the left of the house, close enough that you can here it gurgling as the water flows past the rocks you used to jump across as kids.

you sigh. when did you grow up?

a breeze ruffles your hair lightly and you can smell the remnants of smoke in the air from the fire mike and ben had lit although that was hours ago.

mike. the thought brings butterflies all over your body and you curse yourself and your anxious crush. he was just so... so soft. he was strong and soft and careful and carefree - he was his own opposite and that thought itself confused you but you don't really care because every time he speaks, you want nothing more than just to listen for ages. you sit up, eyes wide and breaths halting at your own thoughts. wait.

that's love, isn't it?

"want some company?" a voice calls, prompting you to turn back and look towards the window, your heart skipping a beat at the familiar figure.

"hi mike." you say timidly, your face somehow feeling warm against the cool summer night. perfect timing. "hey, y/n/n." he mutters as he pulls himself through the ledge and out onto the roof, plopping himself next to you. he sits close enough that you can smell him and feel him against your leg - his smell is one of mint, wildflowers and some unknown cologne that makes you feel tingly.

"i thought you were asleep." you say, hating that you feel so damn nervous around your friend. if only these feelings would go away. he chuckles, looking at you, "no, i was getting water in the kitchen and when i came back, you weren't with the others. i knew you'd be up here."

something about his words make you feel very mushy and you give him a smile, "how'd you know?" you ask softly. he shrugs, his eyes darting quickly from yours to your lips and your heart freezes.

"i know you more than you think, y/n." he says equally as soft and then you notice how close he really is, how honest he sounds. and then your eyes flick away, taking in the soft rustle of the leaves in the distance, a lone car tumbling down the road into town, the left taillight blown out. you chuckle; it looks sort of like the car richie bought sophomore year that you all used to pile into to drive into bangor.

you then think about all your memories with the losers; how every single one always circulates around a familiar smile, a certain laughter and the kindest person you've ever known.

and then mike's arm lifts to rest around you and you quickly snap out of your stare at the grassy field of his farm to look at him. he's smiling back and you realize his voice and body next to yours might possibly be the one thing bearing the weight of your mind as your head threatens to join the shining stars and clouds above you. he takes care of you in ways that neither of you notice, in ways that you'll forever be grateful for.

"i just want to say something." he says, cutting out the silence with his crisp words, looking out towards the skyline where you can just make out the main street of derry over the fields.

you lean your head slightly onto his shoulder and hum, nervous that if you tried to speak no words would come out but just the sound of your racing heartbeat.

"y/n, i really like you."

it's said with no other inflections, nothing but the raw words doing so much to overpower your brain. your heart stops beating then starts again at a thumping, resounding pace. you think you're short-circuiting.

"oh... what?" you ask shyly, feeling extremely flushed. there's no way that mike likes you back. he smiles at you and god, those butterflies are about to escape from your chest. "you're not joking, are you?" you ask, biting your lip as your eyes navigate every feature of his face as he watches you. you dont even know why you said it - it's mike you're talking to. he would never lie or joke about something like this, he would never, ever hurt you like that.

"i have never felt this way about anyone.” he says honestly, a smile still on his face and your heart thumps wildly in your chest, a smile splitting your face in two as you shake your head. "y/n/n, i would never lie to you." but you already knew that.

your heart is swelling with so much antsy happiness that you almost huff a laugh, shaking your head as your cheeks flush. he's just watching you, half-smiling as he waits for you to fully react. he knows you so well, you almost cry, but instead you speak.

"i like you too, i think i lo-" you cut yourself off and suck in a breath, realizing that you haven't taken one in over thirty seconds. "i have for a long time. do you-do you think i could..." you trail off, feeling awkward.

he smiles gently, the hand that isn't around your shoulders reaching to softly cup your jaw. you can't speak as he pulls you closer and shit, even if you could you don't want to because you would ruin this beautiful moment, the way you're breathing each other in.

you close the gap.

his lips are warm against yours and the arm around your shoulder moves to your waist, pulling you closer to him and deepening the kiss. he tastes like vanilla ice cream and you whimper slightly, your hands falling on his chest as your heart pounds in your own. he's smilling, then - you can feel it.

you laugh with happiness as you realize that you can feel him smiling against your lips and that you'll be able to feel that for a very long time. he pulls back and pecks your lips again, staring into your eyes and then you peck his lips. he laughs and it makes you beam.

his arm pulls you into his side and he lays his head on yours as you stare out into the countryside. "are you tired, mike?" you ask, concerned that you've kept him up. you feel him shake his head and you smile softly, hand lacing with his against the tiles of the roof.

"no. i think i could stay up here forever." he whispers.

//tag list: @gabiatthedisco @blisshemmings @toziershmozier @simplesammyx @dickology64 @clownsloveyou @baby-yoda-a @moon-shine-baby @daughter-of-the-stars11 @lets-vibe-bro @trashedfortozier @oceandog13 @finnskindofwoman @beauregard-s  @kait-tozier  @upamongthestarss @fiantomartell //

[usertoxicyaoi]

@ that scene where tine was getting patched up we stan win's acting coz all i could see was a person totally unused to being cared for, and i know where he talks about wat being the first one to plaster his fingers was said to cheer sarawat up but damn tine rly not used to being on the receiving end of love and attention and that shit huRTED

hiii anon!! yo LISTEN. i keep saying this time and time again but can like win metwain- in fact, im Speaking it into existence: win metawin WILL win the awards next year for best new actor or ANY category of that sort.

the way hes played tine? OOFT. like the way hes taken tine, studied him, lifted him off the page and made him HIS tine, whilst fundamentally keeping all those things the same that makes novel! tine so well loved by fans, is honestly so commendable?? he's put in so much thought and attention, that even the improvised scenes feel like "no way was that improv?????" he knows tine is someone who's lacked being taken care of, and he Shows that, especially in that scene where he looks so so vulnerable, like he himself cb sarawat is patching him up?? when he "broke up" with wat, and he was like "you dont need to waste your time on me" like BRO his voice?? his FACE??? THAT SHIT HURT. and fong only CONFIRMING that really makes you look back at all the scenes where tine has shown his moments of vulnerability, even when he was nervous to play and perform at the end of ep 9, and earnpear and dimgreen were encouraging him?? god win plays it so so well.

and i get it now when both bright and win are like "we got so into our characters bc along with them, it was our first time doing all this and feeling all these feelings, that all this has become a part of us." you know how sometimes we mess around and we're like "is that bright or wat?" "is that win or tine?" or like "win is perfect for tine and bright is perfect for wat", ... it just shows how well they Get their characters and the effort they put in and the impression it left.

mmmm yeah.

[drashleighreid]

ugh i know i’ve made this post before but i’m honestly just in awe of how much and how quickly my studies/perception of my own abilities turned around last semester. like i’ve struggled so much with impostor syndrome and not feeling like i’m good enough or feeling less than. i’ve struggled a lot with my sense of self, especially through having adhd, i was the typical case of doing really well in high school and having rly inflated ambition etc and then going to university and crashing and burning (multiple times) i tried studying like 3 or 4 different things and ending up hating it/dropping out after a semester until i finally started studying film when i was 23. it kind of felt like a last hope for me like i even remember when i did my big 6 month backpacking trip before i moved to melb i was in toronto hanging out with my friend who was trying to convince me to get a work visa and move there and work with him and i told him i was thinking id go back to aus and start studying again but that id consider it and i remember he made like a flippant remark about me trying study again like it wasnt intended to be rude but just that he knew that id hated uni every time id gone lkjlkjsf and even when i started the course i knew that like it was kinda my last hope of getting a degree which had always been a big goal of mine, i felt shit about myself a lot of my best friends from high school had already graduated at this point and i just felt hopeless - and studying something creative after feeling for so long like it wouldnt yield a stable future was a bit of a ‘fuck you i’m done’ kinda move on my part too lol but even through the first year and a half (and even a smidge beyond that) i was battling back and forth whether to drop out and i cried about it to my therapist numerous times because i didnt feel good enough and that it was hopeless etc and that everyone else was better than me, more focused than me. i couldnt even sit through films without being on my phone bc my adhd wouldnt let me so how the f was i gonna work in the industry lmao ! it was so challenging bc i legit didnt know what id do if i dropped out !!! but i just kinda kept going no matter how miserable i was and how much i was sobbing in week 13 writing my essay or how much i felt like everyone in the course were making friends with each other but i had no one or how scared i was to share my ideas with people !!!! i literally felt so bad in every way !!! 

but like through small building affirmations things just keep getting better !!! last semester i pitched a concept for a 16mm short film and it was one of the 4 ideas chosen out of like 25 to be made and i had the most rewarding experience directing the project and made amazing connections with people and created something actually amazing ??? the teachers had almost no negative feedback for it and i got the best grade i’ve ever received lol and i made some rly good friends and got a lot of positive reinforcement from the actors and people saying that i struck a rly good balance with directing and that i was amazing to work with !!! but even after that experience going into 3rd year and beginning major projects i had reservations and felt really nervous because i didnt feel prepared and i was worried that people wouldnt like my idea or after only having written/directed for all of my projects so far i felt like i had to Perform again. the the impostor syndrome - though a lot more muted than before bc i have positive experiences to lean back on!! - was kinda there again like this idea that everything i’ve accomplished so far has been a fluke and that people are gonna realise im dumb etc. etc. lmao but like ! ive pitched an idea and people i dont even know from the course have reached out saying they love it and want to work on it with me and i have basically a full crew ?? just need someone on sound?? and we havent even had the class where we have discussions about it and talk more in depth, thats solely based on a less than 2 minute video pitch and ive had so much interest !!! and it just feels so nice !! like i know this isnt the end, we still have to get greenlit by the panel before it will move ahead to production but its just so validating to have people behind you who show interest and passion toward ur ideas !! 

and ive been chatting to other people about ideas and their film concepts/chatting about helping out with other roles on other films for ppl bc u can do that and id love more hands on experience on sets so im trying to get into sound design and production design bc like no ones gonna hire a film student grad as a director kljlkjsf you gotta be a worm ! 

but like basically this is a really long winded way of saying that i cant believe people actually really value my ideas and my vision and feedback. i got this message from one of the most intelligent people i’ve ever met and like... just two bros being in awe of each other... cleansing 

honestly like !! if you read this far wig go off !! i havent done one of these long winded feelings dumps in a long time but its like good and positive feelings moving forward, even in social iso i feel so connected and wonderful. peace n blessings love u all. chase ur dreams and dont give up !! @ past me and at all of u out there !!  its gonna be ok keep going u got this bitch !!! 

[uniformbravo]

im bored so im answering these questions that were on my dash

Normal: Do you have any hidden talents?

no if i have talents i immediately show them off in any way possible i hide nothing

Fire: Would you consider yourself hot-headed or more even-tempered?

99% of the time im a chill person but there is exactly one person who can set me off basically effortlessly & its great luv it

Water: Can you swim? Do you like to swim?

yes i can swim & i love to swim, i just havent in literally a decade bc i kept growing out of my swimsuits & at some point just never bought a new one... i rly miss swimming im sad

Grass: Would you say you have a green thumb? What have you grown?

nope not at all not even close. we have one of those like. is it called a pothos?? leafy vine plant and i water it sometimes and thats it. my sister has succulents & theyre dying bc of me

Electric: What do you think of thunderstorms?

rad as hell i get Very excited (even tho the loud ones make me nervous)

Flying: How high have you ever been up?

idk ive been in planes but aside from that... probably a hotel or something. i went to camp in the mountains a few times??

Rock: What is your most precious treasure?

fuck man do you know how much useless garbage ive kept from my childhood/adolescence due to being a sentimental piece of shit there's a Lot. if i had to pick tho i'd probably say my collection of sketchbooks and notebooks from my childhood all the way up until now (its a big collection)

Ground: Are you down to Earth or would you say your head is more in the clouds?

i really honestly cannot conceptualize these in my head as anything that means something to me idk how to apply this to myself. i fuck around a lot so probably the second one?? are these even opposite traits??? i think i have the wrong definition of “down to earth” in my head

Poison: What is the most disgusting thing you’ve eaten?

idk im a picky eater so a lot of stuff is gross to me. i didn't like the scallop my mom let me try at a restaurant once

Bug: What is your self-esteem like?

it fluctuates

Ice: Do you have to warm up to people you’ve just met?

not really im pretty friendly usually. if we're talking about close friends tho yea that takes work

Fighting: Do you prefer hand to hand combat or to fight with a weapon?

what the fuck kinda anime ass question is this "how do u prefer to fight people" do i look like ive ever physically fought someone in my entire LIFE???? who is this question aimed at????? who looked at this and went "well hand to hand obviously do i look like a coward"?????????

Psychic: If you could choose telepathy, telekinesis, or precognition, which one would you choose?

telekinesis babyyy imagine me but lazier, and also maybe able to draw and type w/o using my hands wow the dream

Ghost: What are you most afraid of?

a ghost,

Steel: Are you brave or do you easily become nervous or scared?

LMAO the second one

Dark: Are you street smart?

absolutely not

Dragon: What is your favourite mythological creature?

mostly i dont care but dragons good

[meganiumgender]

even numbers!

2.  Would you say that you have a “type”?  Have you ever crushed on anyone outside who’s not your type?

i don’t think i rly have a type????? im just.....super easy when it comes to girls kjfsdbkjbgjksdgbsdkj 

the closest thing to a consistency i have with physical traits is i...generally like girls that have darker hair i think??

4.  How do you let your girlfriend/partner know you appreciate her?

i am...the most verbal person alive when it comes to positive emotions so i have like... no qualms just saying “i love you” every 4 minutes jdksbgkjsgbdjk

i also rly like physical affection and like...cooking for girls so like. there is That as well. 

im trying not to make myself sound super clingy but kjsdbgjksjkdgbsdbgjkskgj

6.  Would you like to have kids or pets with a s/o someday?

absolutely to both! itd have to be a while into the future bc i dont want to have kids til im married and i dont want to get married until i have a steady job and all that but. having a family is like. a big Long Term Goal for me

8.  Most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl?

besides every time ive made an ass of myself by not recognizing when im being hit on?

i have...more than once... spilled shit on myself bc i got distracted looking at girls, then because i got nervous at my Moment being noticed dissolved into unstoppable, semi-hysteric laughter jkgkjsdgbjksd

10.  Have you ever accidentally outed yourself?

jfksdgbjksjkdgjdsk yeah

my auntie was asking me abt men id met at college and i just sort of. without thinking. yeah. 

(luckily she was ok with it but like... shes the only one on my dads side who Knows for a reason jksdbgkjsdg)

12.  When did you first come out?  Was it planned?  How did it go?  What advice do you have for people who are planing on coming out?

haha uh. baby gay sob story. i didn’t actually get to come out

background info: i was raised in a southern baptist town in rural kentucky so, as any god fearing southern baptist child would do when they’re 12 years old and thinking about kissing their best friend but too scared to go to the church, and know that even though their mama aint christian, there’s no way she’d keep that from their daddy who is, i went to a guidance counselor and asked for. yknow. guidance. 

a day or two later, i had a doctor’s appointment. while me and my mama are getting lunch afterwards she gets a phone call and takes it outside, leaving my dumb 12 year old ass to continue enjoying my cordon bleu from arby’s, happily oblivious to the fact that the goddamn school called her to let her know they were worried about me 

so

there’s that sjdkbgjksg

mama took it well as she could. she made sure i knew she still loved me and all that, but she did tell my daddy the next day and we had a whole family discussion and all that. daddy doesn’t get it and mama still asks if every guy i’m somewhat friends with is someone i’d be interested in dating, but they love me and that’s what matters as far as i care

so i don’t really think i can give much advice on coming out besides the general like. wait til you’re ready to come out, don’t feel like you have to do it right then and there as soon as you realize you’re feelin somethin, especially not if it’s maybe not the safest environment for you. safety comes first. 

14.  Favorite baby gay story?

sdahfbhsfkj i dont really have one i dont think?? unless you count me at age like... six or seven just constantly replaying the video for shania twain’s ‘don’t impress me much’ dsjbgjdg

16.  Do you have any favorite characters who are canonically lesbians?

jfdngjdfj i’ll b real,,, first thought is forever and always Haruka and Michiru from sailor moon,,,, god i love them

also like. “favorite” is a strong word but. god when i was like 12-13 and super into anime and discovered strawberry panic??? lmfaooo

18.  Do you have any favorite lesbian ships?  Are any of them canon?  If you could make only one lesbian ship canon (pre-existing ships included), which one would you choose?

jksdbjgksd i mean. haruka and michiru are Very Much Gay And In Love sooooo

jksdbjkgjksd i got sailor moon on the mind bc me and my brother were watching it the other day sorry ksdhgbkhsdg

(honestly like. just make all of the characters in sailor moon gay. whether they’re in relationships or not just. they’re all gay now.)

(what im saying is: exclude tuxedo mask from the narrative. that’s my wish.)

(god he’s creepy.)

20.  Do you have any advice or words of encouragement for young lesbians who are just becoming aware of their sexuality?

sdgbkjsdgj im awful with words uhh

honestly like just. take your time. and especially with how we like to talk on tumblr i think this can’t be noted enough: don’t rush into a relationship, don’t rush through all the stages of a relationship at once - take a breath. slow down. you’ve got time. 

[gallifvrey]

ok ive been thinking some more so here are some more thoughts abt the ep esp now that ive seen it twice (and am... planning on watching it one more time before the day is up)

(obviously theres gonna be spoilers)

i kinda liked how the episode was not very dramatic - that it was not particularly “flashy” in its action, the “villain” (or what you think is the villain) is really just a nice, legitimately good corporation. i also loved that bill was in it, however, i did think that her addition did in a way feel sort of forced? Ultimately i thought it kind of backtracked in the way that she was left in the last episode (the gay character being able to go live off the rest of her days w her girlfriend? pretty cool) and getting rid of that made me kind of sad. but also i just thought that her being part of this weird organization itself was kind of strange? there were definitely some plot holes? 

basically why is there suddenly this really powerful organization that has the ability to lift peoples memories from their bodies and transport them into another body/thing that allows them to kinda keep living? like how has this not come up before?? im just ... Kinda confused by the concept (and thought it kinda goes back to the thing that happens in a lot of eps when moffat writes something So Grand that its like... a bit beyond belief) 

BUT!! i loved the subtext of the idea that your memories are what makes you and not your body esp. in the context of the regeneration bc the thing that really binds the past regenerations together are their memories and w 12 being all like “i die when i regenerate” it was important to have there be some sort of like, no you dont die, you’re still you because you keep the memories

i just wish they maybe talked about it a little more directly? (we’re putting in a cut here bc this is getting long)

I LOVED CLARA !! i honestly now that im a bit less excited obviously wouldve loved some more but the fact that she was in it at all with everyone not expecting her to be in it was So Awesome and as soon as bill said “i have a gift for you” i screamed and my parents were like... ??? but Yeah that was AWESOME (i was still hoping that we would maybe get to know what she said to him in hell bent (or heaven sent?) but ill take what i can get)

i loved the fact that 12 tried to tell things to 13 before he regenerated, and the bit about kids can understand your name was really sweet imo and i really liked that i hope kids thought that was as cool as i did 

and i loved that they included the silent night thing, thats one of my favorite stories from history and it made me rly emotional

and i loved the regeneration tbh? i was So So So So nervous that they were gonna do smth rly stupid. that theyd have her regenerate into a woman and then act all ditsy and be like “Omg i have boobs!! Woah!!” or w/e and it would be . rly disappointing but the very quiet understated “Oh, Brilliant” was perfect and i mean ofc i wish she said a little more but its better than them being overly creepy and i loved that she crashed the tardis like everyone else and idk the entire thing was so great i love her already and id die for her

the biggest complaint i have tho is abt one? bc his character got rly tiring rly fast. i mean i havent seen the older episodes and i havent seen his at all but i cant imagine he was that blatantly sexist, and honestly even if he was i think we couldve maybe ? not included it. like, i get that sometimes it was funny and the first time it was and the second time it was slightly less so but as time went on it just got.. kinda tiring tbh. like i want to like the episode but having to go and sit through the doctor saying those things?? is a bit much yknow

and like, i get that its supposed to be there for comedic effect, its just watching it id rly feel a bit uncomfortable and put off from the episode. i dont watch my tv shows to feel that way and to listen to someone say that. it felt a bit like moffat was just gratuitously patting himself on the back for being So Progressive (which he is, in a lot of ways, but still) and idk. id like to rewatch the ep a lot but i just. dont want to sit through the doctor saying things like “oh she should clean” or even the Really creepy thing he said about like? watch your language that made me So Uncomfortable

but overall, i really did enjoy the episode and im so so so so so so so so excited to see where they take 13 and how she’ll move on, and as sad as i am to see peter capaldi go, the doctor has always been my role model and i really love that shes a woman now and i can’t wait to see the adventures she’ll go on

[chenlays]

jAEmin (I’m rly sorry)

jaemin as an ideal type in a variety show ⭐️ requested ⭐️ requests are open!!! ⭐️ end me omg I love jaemin but I’m not that good at writing him like renjun please FORGIVE ⭐️ I DONT LIKE THIS AT ALL IM SORRY ⭐️ masterlist

LETS GE T STARTED

I wasn’t sure how to actually start this and all that

so I’m just doing a little editing and mixing it up so it’s more comfortable since I don’t know how it was wanted :(

But anyways

ok so u got called to be on a variety show with nct dream!!! how amazing!!!!

but it was probably nerve wracking also bc!na!jaemin!!

u got asked in an interview a while ago who, in ur opinion, was the cutest and most ideal male idol

ofc u said jaemin

he is everything and more ily tho chenle

it was probably brutal out there for you honestly imma cry

u get there and all that

and see some members

saying hello and talking about how y'all like each others’ work

it was a good time also

one by one the rest of dream joined and it was so fun!!!!

little kids with cutie they all look up to!!!!

bUT when jaemin comes out to say hello,,,,,

he is so smiley and then when he sees u his soul leaves his body

like,,oMg s o c u t e I’m gonna cry omg

he’s panicking inside bc ur so amazing and he k n o w s

he knows what u said abt him 👀👀

but he’s never talked about another idol or smth in public

so he just makes as little talk as possible with u and is really smiley and pink but prays internally that nobody notices

ofc the members will know what u said and that he likes u

rip na jaemin

he lived a good life

but anyways

u see how hesitant he is to even look at u

and it should’ve been obvious that what u said had gotten to him

bUt ofc it wasn’t obvious to u bc u were so happy to even be in his presence and be with him

so when u went up to him he just retracted everything and kinda backed away

but when he saw ur kinda hurt expression

he literally sMILED so big that his cheeks hurt and then !!! “Hello, it’s very nice to see you!!”

OMg u were shook

he becomes very nice after that and is a lot less awkward

holds the door open for you and then walks in behind to let it close on the dreamies

makes some s l i c k jokes just to make u laugh

he did the research and knows what type of humor u have

also then starts to talk to u a lot more and just smiles whenever u do something

yes bby pls show ur rly nice teeth that we all lo v e

[he’s] HIGHKEY on the verge of tears when ur asked a question

But he’s gotta deal

u were sittin in front of jeno and next to renjun so they covered for each other and when the cameras weren’t on then they exposed jaemin

u choked and then started to get really re. D and then when asked what was wrong just

sighed

probably asked a basic question

like,, “how is iT to be with nct dream ;))”

u answer truthfully

and the dreamies are all smiling bc u love them and love talking to them

but u mention how u felt like it was easier to talk to jaemin

and connect with him

so he was ur favorite

ME GUSTA EL VERDE SABES PORQUE ES PORQUE MI PAPA ES UN BOMBERO

most of them wanted to scream and jump around bc of how flus t e. R e d jaemin must’ve been

wanting release

just smiles rly sweetly at u as a thanks and is so giddy and pink for the rest of the show

and then after

once he is relieved and is a lot less nervous abt talking to u

he makes all the dreamies leave the hallway and then goes up to u all cUTE n anxious

“HEY!! My name is jaemin and I reaLLy wanna go out togethe r”

“oh hey jaemin,,,I already knew your name but s u r e??”

is so hAPPY

probably cries inside bc he was a lil awkward

usually isn’t that awkward but ur 👀👀 so cute

the dreamies were totally judging him

but mark and jun supporting!!!

u want the best for jaemin tho

he’s so precious

PROTEC he loves u

[markhycks]

markhyuck au where

mark is a real estate agent trying to sell a house that has been unoccupied for years but donghyuck (the ghost who haunts it) won’t let him. warning: very long post / aged up!markhyuck 

—- i wrote this bc i had to get this out of my system - yall can keep scrolling if u dont like markhyuck !! ALSO i have z e r o clue how the real estate industry works so this is probably super inaccurate

ok so:

no one wants to buy this property bc its apparently haunted by a ghost

mark thinks thats just stupid

hes just trying his very best n rly wants a promotion !!

so his boss (obviously taeil bc we love a moon taeil managing a real estate business) offers to give a raise n promotion to anyone that can sell the house bc the last dude that tried to got so close but the couple pulled out last min after hearing abt the rumours

mark thinks he is aBSOLUTELY FULLY CAPABLE of selling this house so he tells his boss he wants to give it a shot

taeils like r u sure you’ve only been working here for 6 months

n mark lee’s all hell yea i got this thats why rumours around the world are saying mark is abs-

so boss man’s like aight ill leave this task to you 

everyone else in the office is all :000000

sicheng the cute intern is all ARE YOU SURE ABT THIS MARK in his broken chinese n he’s all cute and worried and its the first time the others have heard him speak this much

jaehyun his bff in the office is like good luck man bc he once tried selling it too but whimped out after encountering so called ghost

so anyways mark has to go inspect the property the next day

he gets given the keys yadda yadda

when he turns up to the house (which, mind you, is a very nice house located on the outskirts of town by a little lake) and opens the door he hears a loud “WHO GOES THERE”

and mARK FREAKS TF OUT

like he legit jumps n he’s pretty sure he almost peed himself n hes sso oso scared but then he remembers his mission and that he’s not going to turn out like the rest and he w I L L sell this house 

so he loosens his tie with a d e t er m i n e d face and enters the home

“whos there!! show yourself!” 

he thinks he sounds pretty fierce but it actually came out a quiet squeak

anyways it’s silent for a bit and mark’s like super wary as he closes the door behind him

“LEAVE THIS HOUSE IMMEDIATELY!!!” and suddenly theres a picture frame thrown at the wall

mark panics again and he’s so close to running out but he stays determined!!! bc!! fully capable mark!!

“no i have to sell this house and i won’t leave until i do so!!”

and it just goes silent again until the voice speaks up again

“who are you”

“i, um. mark?”

“you sound unsure”

“well. i mean, would you kill me for being a little nervous? jheesh”

he looks around. where is the voice even coming from? it projects through the entire house like its on speaker

mark’s not sure where he got this sudden confidence from but he feels a lot less scared than before so he just loosens his tie and walks around the house with his clipboard, doing his lil inspection

the ghost? spirit? whatever it is doesn’t say anything and mark just shrugs and carries on with his business and before he knows it an hour has already passed

“hey spirit” he calls out

and it’s like silent for ages

so he just shrugs and he’s about to leave when

“you can’t sell this house. it’s mine”

and mark just stops at the door and he can’t help but feel a lil sad at the spirit’s sad tone bc it probably has like so many memories in the house and it probably hasn’t crossed over or whatever (he’s not sure how the whole supernatural thing works but he’s watched ghost whisperer before)

the last thing mark says before he leaves is “i’ll be back tomorrow and you better be gone”

he thinks he hears the spirit scoff but maybe its just his ears

honestly mark has a hard time believing all of this and he goes to bed that night wondering h o w he’s going to deal with this situation

anyway mark turns up the next day and this time the spirit doesn’t seem as hostile 

that being said it continues to threaten mark and starts moving objects around

but honestly mark (and his newfound confidence) only rolls his eyes as makes a list of the repairs that need to be done (bc deep down he doesnt believe any of this is actually happening)

so they fall into a routine

mark keeps coming back and the spirit keeps threatening him

sometimes it tries to sabotage his work by moving things around 

mark’s gotten so used to it that he literally just sighs like “give it back”

the spirit actually listens to him and does

eventually they start talking more 

mark’s found out the spirit’s name is donghyuck but that’s all the information he knows 

he thinks it’d be inappropriate to ask stuff like “oh so how did u die” so they just end up having the most random conversations

“make sure you paint the hallway walls blue. the mustard yellow is so outdated”

“you’ll leave and let me sell the house if i paint them blue?”

“i never said that”

and mark ends up spending more time at the house than necessary

so one day jaehyun pulls him aside at work n he’s all “dude??? are u ok? you’re hardly in the office these days”

and mark’s like “yeah man u know its just the repairs for the house they’re taking ages”

jaehyun is suspicious but shrugs it off and tells him to be careful

taeil asks how the task is going and mark suddenly gets all nervous for no reason bc HOW IS THE TASK GOING??? he doesnt even know


he just gives another casual response n says the house should be ready soon for him to start bringing in clients

taeil just pats his back and wishes him good luck

when mark finishes work that evening he literally feels so down bc he literally had one j o b but here he is being all chummy with a ghost that haunts this house and its all just so messed up in his head

he doesnt know what makes him do it but that evening he ends up going to the house

“someone’s working the night shift”

mark just blinks in confusion at the words because what the heck. he’s meant to be here for work and this isn’t work so w h y is he here at 7pm on a friday???

instead he just takes a seat on the floor by the wall in the empty living area and sighs like a sad puppy

“what’s the matter?” donghyuck asks and his voice sounds genuinely concerned??? if anything it scares mark a bit

“who - no. what are you?” he finally asks

and then there’s silence

it’s literally like that for almost an hour before mark asks again

“are you like some kind of ghost? spirit? do you need help crossing over? i just. i really need you to leave and you’re not making my job any easier and i’m so confused and half of me doesn’t even believe any of this is real”

silence

it almost convinces mark that he really is going mad because there’s no such thing as ghosts and he’s just talking to an empty house

until a quiet voice says

“i’m neither of those”

mark feels so, so confused and he just ruffles his hair in frustration

“then what are you?”

“what’s your favorite color?”

he’s taken aback by the question 

nonetheless, he responds with a quiet “green”

“green is disgusting. red is better”

“red is literally the color of the devil i’m guessing thats what you are”

he’s expecting an angry remark but instead he’s met with soft laughter and all mark can do is smile in return

he ends up spending the night at the house talking to donghyuck all night

it’s a saturday the next day and mark is so co n f u s  e d when he wakes up to the smell of pancakes?

he follows the smell and finds a plate of pancakes sitting at the table with a note “i’m assuming you never ate dinner last night. eat up - D”

mark thinks he’s living in a dream bc did a ghost just?? COOK for him??

reality at this point has become so warped in his mind that he doesn’t care anymore and he starts eating

he hears laughter 

“calm down youre eating as if its your last day on earth” 

he sticks up a middle finger at no one in particular, hoping donghyuck will see it from wherever he is, and he’s only met with more laughter

when he’s finished eating and rinses his plate (which he has no idea where it came from) he’s thinking about what donghyuck said to him last night about not being a ghost

“donghyuck”

“mark”

for a brief moment he’s startled. it’s the first time donghyuck’s said his name and he’s not sure how he feels about it. if anything, the tips of his ears growing red must indicate a positive sign 

“what ar- i mean. how do yo- no. what do you look like?”

silence

he runs a hand through his hair with a frustrated sigh before leaving the house again

he doesn’t return for another week

when mark comes back, he’s with a client

mr johnny seo and his boyfriend chittaphon seem extremely keen in the property and want to move in despite hearing rumors about a ghost

mark doesn’t know whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing

johnny and chittaphon are into that buzzfeed unsolved kind of shit and run their own vlog series on youtube and theyre just e c s t a t i c that they might be moving into a haunted house

mark thinks theyre weird as shit but he wants that promo

donghyuck probably doesn’t mind sharing anyway

when he thinks back to donghyuck he feels a pang in his chest and dare he say it, he misses them? 

anyways

mark takes the couple back to the house and he feels weird

he can’t pinpoint what’s wrong but he just feels strange inside his chest

there are two things he’s learnt about johnny and chittapon:

one, they cant keep their hands off each other

and two, they can’t stop filming every waking moment of their lives

so when they’re following him to the house with their giant ass camera and chittaphon’s giggles, mark can only roll his eyes as he inserts the key 

but the door won’t open

mark’s confused - he hadn’t come back to change the locks so why won’t the key fit?

he feels slightly flustered in the presence of the couple and their camera and he laughs nervously

they must feel pretty bad for him because they laugh nervously too

mark tries again but to no avail and sighs in frustration when it hits him: donghyuck - this was clearly his doing 

mark clears his throat awkwardly before turning back to the couple “i’m sor-”

“LEAVE AT ONCE”

johnny and chittaphon jump back, eyes wider than saucers while mark has to c o n t a i n himself from rolling his eyes at donghyuck’s ~scary voice~

he half expects the couple to run away but instead johnny only begins to roll the camera once again and there’s a look of nervous excitement on chittaphon’s face

mark turns to the door once again and hisses “donghyuck open the door”

he hopes the couple haven’t heard him but judging by the looks on their faces, they have

“LEAVE MY HOME AT ONCE BEFORE I CURSE YOU AND YOUR FAMILIES”

and mark can only snort

johnny looks absolutely f a s c i nat e d by this point and mark groans internally before beginning to knock on the door

“donghyuck not cool just open the damn d o o r before i break it down”

there’s silence and mark takes it as his cue to try unlocking the door with his set of keys again 

it works and he allows the couple to enter

donghyuck attempts to scare the trio a few times during mark’s tour of the house by moving things around - causing johnny to drop his camera at one point and chittaphon to curse at him for bringing it because its probably broken now

anyway the tour goes t e rr i b ly 

mark is pissed

he’s not sure what johnny and chittaphon are feeling

when he sees the couple off he just shuts the door angrily and donghyuck just g i g g le s 

“what the fuck man did u have to do that?”

“i told you to leave”

“and i told you to leave. what is even your problem???” 

at this point mark’s just yelling and donghyuck doesnt seem to care tbh

there are a few more clients he tries to bring that week and the week after

they all go awfully thanks to donghyuck and by the end of the fourth week mark is on the verge of giving up

donghyuck on the other hand seems to be having way too much fun 

“can you just like, stop?” mark sighs 

he’s very very tired at this point and he’s considering giving the keys back to taeil and telling him he can’t do it

he’s picks up his blazer that he’d taken off earlier and is about to leave when he hears a 

“where are you going?”

mark just releases the loudest snort before turning to the empty walls of the house and raising a brow at nothing in particular

“are you kidding me? i’m done. congrats donghyuck you get to keep your damn house”

donghyuck doesn’t say anything 

- when mark shakes his head and turns to open the front door 

it won’t open

“very funny, donghyuck. open it so i can leave”

he’s met with silence a g a i n so he pulls the keys out of his pocket 

“wait!”

he whips his head around in confusion bc its the first time he’s heard donghyuck speak in such a desperate tone

he feels his ears growing red again

“uh.. yes?”

there’s a couple seconds of silence before donghyuck speaks in a quiet voice

“you asked me what i was right?”

mark just scoffs bc why is he even having this conversation at this point

he decides to answer anyway 

“like every day but sure”

“go to the loft” 

mark spends a few seconds contemplating whether he really should or not

he follows his gut instinct and makes his way to the loft

he’s only actually been up to the loft once just because it takes forever to get up there 

when he climbs up the ladder and looks around at the empty space he shrugs

“well?”

“go up to the bookshelf on the far left”

mark feels like a child being directed right now but he follows the instructions anyway

he feels slightly nervous and a part of him wants to escape

its congested up here and he can feel the back of his neck grow sweaty like he’s been waiting for this moment for ages!!!

a part of him wants to run out of the house as quick as possible he’s not even sure what hes expecting

“now um.. move that red book on the end”

mark’s hand is s h a k i ng at this point and he slowly does what hes been told

suddenly????? the bookshelf starts moving 

and then it hits mark

its a fake bookshelf thats actually meant to be a revolving door

mark is literally about to collapse bc he doesnt know whats waiting for him on the other side 

when the door finally reaches the other side all he can do is stare

he feels like he’s in a different world, standing in the loft which resembles an open space apartment, with a tiny window and a mini kitchen on the side, a door which leads to what he assumes is a bathroom and a small bed

but that’s not what catches mark’s attention

standing in front of him is the most b e a u t i f u l boy he’s ever seen in his entire life

he doesn’t look much younger than mark himself, slightly shorter with dark red hair, golden skin and the biggest chocolate brown eyes he’s seen on a person

mark doesn’t know how to react 

his mouth goes dry and the boy looks so frightened standing there in his own vicinity that mark’s afraid he’ll disappear if he touches him

“donghyuck?”

clearing his throat in an all too familiar voice, the boy speaks

“that would be me”

mark passes out

when he wakes up a while later, he’s on an unfamiliar bed and he looks around with narrowed eyes - realising that it wasn’t a dream and donghyuck is in fact a human living in a loft

mark looks around at the place and his jaw drops when he sees the wall opposite the bed is fULL of screens capturing cctv like images of almost every corner of the house

there are about three computer screens at the desk and mark is baffled

it looks like the bedroom of a teenage hacker 

“oh good you’re up. i thought you were dead” donghyuck says, walking over to him from the kitchen with a plate of food

mark sits up slowly, his head is aching and hearing donghyuck’s voice like this, so clear, so close to him, so soft - he thinks he’ll pass out again

he feels himself growing warm when donghyuck takes a seat beside him on the bed, putting the plate on his lap before getting up

before he can, mark grabs his wrist “wait”

“you probably have a lot of questions” donghyuck speaks over him

“well, yeah”

“eat up we’ve got all night” donghyuck says

mark hasn’t even made eye contact with the other boy yet because he can’t bring himself to

donghyuck is intimidatingly beautiful 

“i- what time is it?”

“9. you were out for hours”

“it’s been a long day” mark shrugs, taking a bite of the surprisingly good food donghyuck managed to cook up

so it turns out donghyuck’s family were the owners of the house but he’d been left an orphan as a teenager

in order to avoid being taken into social care, he made his own living space up in the loft so no one would find him - once he’d turned 18 they stopped looking for him and using his intelligent brain, he’d conjured up all the right devices to make it seem like the home was haunted by the ghosts of his family members

mark is baffled by the end of the explanation

“but the things moving around the house..”

“ever heard of remote controlled toys and simple physics?”

mark nods slowly and donghyuck just shrugs casually 

later on donghyuck shows mark how he’d managed to keep up this strange lifestyle of his

he also finds out that donghyuck is not much younger than himself like he’d predicted - there are only a few months separating them

mark ends up spending the weekend at donghyuck’s place

when it’s sunday night and mark’s getting ready to leave, donghyuck actually walks him up the front door

it feels weird to say the least - hearing donghyuck’s voice like this and not projecting through the speakers he had hidden behind the walls

he doesn’t want to admit it to himself, but donghyuck’s voice is sweeter than honey and he feels like melting every time the younger speaks to him in a quieter tone

“hey donghyuck” he says, once he reaches the door and turns to the younger

“hm?”

“you ever thought about just.. buying the house?”

donghyuck lets out a laugh

mark finds it condescending

“do you think i have the money to do that?”

“well since you’ve managed to maintain it so well - yeah” it turns out donghyuck does weird internet jobs from home where he gets paid a shit ton of cash through his online services - mark thinks its illegal but doesn’t want to say anything

donghyuck shoots him an amused smile and shakes his head 

just as mark pulls the handle of the door, there’s a warm hand on his and all he can do is gulp as he meets donghyuck’s nervous eyes

“you won’t still try to sell it.. right?”

mark remembers his outburst a few days ago and he sends the younger a sympathetic smile, shaking his head slowly “i won’t”

“thanks” and then donghyuck’s hand is gone

mark lowkey feels sad at the loss of warmth but it returns when donghyuck asks him in the most v u l ne r a b l e voice

“will you be back?”

“i don’t know”

mark tries to ignore the heartbroken expression on donghyuck’s face while he’s driving home that night

the next morning at work mark feels miserable 

mainly because it’s a monday but also bc of donghyuck

he’s just so conflicted and he doesnt know what to do

when he’s on his break and passes by taeil’s office, he hears taeil talking to one of his co-workers nakamoto yuta, a guy who transferred to the company a few months before mark joined

they’re talking about the house and most importantly they’re talking about mark

“boss just give me the house i’ll do it - i’ve already got a couple people i know who would be willing it purchase it despite the current situation”

“yuta you very well know this is mark’s-”

“boss it’s been over a month now and he’s scared off all his clients. please?”

there’s a pause before he hears a “alright. i’ll talk to mark tomorrow”

mark just p a n i c s because all he can think about is donghyuck

that night mark drives back to donghyuck’s place and the door is already open for him

“you came back” donghyuck sounds breathless - like he just ran down from the loft 

- mark sees sparkles in his eyes and his stomach does a backflip

“i came back” he repeats, the smile on his face growing

when he’s later sat down on donghyuck’s bed, eating the leftovers from the dinner donghyuck’s just made, mark explains his work situation to him

the younger boy nods, trying desperately not to let the sadness show on his face but fails

“hey” mark says, bringing a hand to the younger’s cheek

it’s weird but neither of them say anything

donghyuck thinks mark has the softest!! hands

“i won’t let them sell it” he says in the s o f t e s t voice and donghyuck wants to melt

instead he just scoffs and shrugs mark’s hand away

“if anything, i won’t let them sell it” he says and mark laughs

deep down they both know it’s not selling the house that’s the issue at hand; it’s mark not having an excuse to keep coming back

the atmosphere is weird and tense when mark leaves that evening

donghyuck walks him down to the door again and mark has the urge to hold has hand and tell him it’ll b ok 

just as mark’s about to get into his car donghyuck calls for him 

when mark turns around donghyuck is suddenly !! in his arms!! and wow! soft and warm donghyuck!! 

about a hundred alarm bells go off in mark’s head and his heart is POUNDING but all he does is bring his arms around the younger boy and tighten the hug

when mark arrives at his own place he thinks that donghyuck doesn’t just sound like honey, but smells sweet like it too

he decides honey is his favorite smell

the next day at work mark isn’t surprised when yuta greets him enthusiastically in the morning

he also isn’t surprised when both he and yuta are called into taeil’s office

mark has to act fast - he can’t let yuta take this from him

he’s been up all night thinking about this, thinking about donghyuck

so when taeil’s about to speak up, mark cuts him off:

“boss i want to purchase the property for myself”

both taeil and yuta’s jaws drop and he’s pretty sure he hears jaehyun gasp from outside the door - the office wasn’t exactly a large place

 “you want to do what”

“yes. i’ve thought this through and yeah. as a customer, i want to buy it. i’ve already spent so much time at it it practically already feels like home” donghyuck feels like home

“i’ve already thought about selling my place for a while now anyway - and i don’t think anyone else would be more willing to buy this house more than i am”

taeil and yuta stay silent 

eventually taeil agrees but hands over the property to yuta to sell to mark

when they all come to a deal or whatever mark is dragged aside by jaehyun

“is this why you spent so long there? you wanted it for yourself?” poor bb he is so confused 

mark just smiles and nods “yeah, guess i did”

mark doesn’t return to the house for another few days - he’s gotta tell his parents about his abrupt decision to sell his place and purchase a new one

since he lives in a different town from his parents, they offer to come with his younger brother jisung to help with the move out - he tells them its ok and that he has lots of helping hands here and he’ll call them over when he’s settled in

mark heads to the house towards the end of the week, the contract behind his back as he unlocks the door with his keys

“hey spirit - come out wherever you are!” he calls out playfully

to his surprise donghyuck’s already on his way down - trying not to smile at the sight of the man in front of him

“mark lee”

“donghyuck” he says, unable to contain his excitement as he holds up the paper in front of the younger 

donghyuck squints at it, confused for a moment before his eyes widen

“YOU DID WHAT?????////”

“i bought this house!” 

donghyuck doesn’t know whether he should laugh or cry

“what the hell you just bought my house?!”

mark’s slightly confused bc he thought donghyuck would be happy

donghyuck looks like he’s abt to burst into tears and mark the awkward turtle starts panicking again

“i - i thought it would be better than a random person buying it??” 

“nO because a random person would never buy this house for as long as im alive and now yOU just came out of nowhere and TOOK POSSESSION OF IT??!?!?” 

donghyuck’s a lil mad bc he feels like the house is all he’s got and now its gone and he’s mad at himself for letting his guard down in front of mark and getting so attached to mark and falling for mark and he doesn’t even realise he’s saying this all aloud until mark stares at him with wide eyes

“you what?”

silence

“you do realise not saying anything won’t work anymore since i can actually see you now, right?” 

silence

“donghyuck”

there’s a quiet mumble “sowhatifilikeyou”

mark feels like he’s about to comBUST

donghyuck’s face is literally the color of a tomato and he just shrinks and he’s so cute mark wants to kiss him

so he does

donghyuck’s lips taste like the warmth of the summer, the confused and nervousness of their feelings, but most importantly they taste sweet - just like honey, just like donghyuck

when mark parts from the kiss first, donghyuck’s fingers curl softly into the material of his shirt, he presses his forehead against the younger’s 

“i’m sorry i did this all without telling you - i just. i did what i felt was right. this feels right, donghyuck. being with you feels right.” mark’s just so nERVOUS and half of what he says comes out so shaky until donghyuck responds quietly

“i want to be with you”

mark wants to pass out

this time however, he doesn’t

anyways~~

time skip a couple of weeks 

donghyuck moves out from the loft and they settle into the house properly

after much insistence donghyuck removes the cameras from around the house except for the exterior and they turn one of the spare bedrooms into a little study for donghyuck where he can do his “illegal business” 

mark suggests him getting out a bit more and donghyuck reluctantly agrees 

mark takes donghyuck out on dates to the movie theatre and out for breakfast

donghyuck is so nervous in public and is practically glued to mark’s side the whole time it’s adorable

they’re both living so d om e s t i ca l ly its sickening

at mark’s housewarming he tells his family and friends that he met donghyuck through tinder

jaehyun doesn’t believe him bc donghyuck’s voice sounds so familiar but he doesn’t know where from - he chooses to drop it though bc the couple in front of him look so happy so he goes to bother sicheng

~~ 

“hey loser” donghyuck walks out from his study room one sunday afternoon when mark’s on the couch watching tv

“yeah??” mark lowers the volume

“cough up your rent for the month - we gotta pay the water bill cause your fatass won’t stop showering every two minutes”

mark almost chokes on his spit

“me?” 

donghyuck nods, flopping down to take a seat beside him

“idk if you’ve noticed but im the owner of this house if anything you should be coughing up rent”

donghyuck snorts “owner in name. we all know who this house rly belongs to”

mark gives him the stink eye “listen you little shi-mph”

before he can begin his string of insults donghyuck’s already climbed onto his lap and his lips are on mark’s

and they live happily ever after !!!!

[bigbrothermonopoly]

EPISODE 4:

HOH: ANDREW

EVICTED: SILENCE 8-4

JESS: 

Pandora's box. You are kidding me right? I'm done. bye.

JESS:

Actually jk jk. I'm not done. Clearly this was an inside job. Two people pooled their money together and clearly got it. The real question is... will this get back to me or not. I'm so discouraged right now. I feel like for some reason people don't trust me? I'm going for HOH right now but I ALSO don't want to hear what other people think I should do with it if I get it.BUT also I should worry about that if/when it happens. WE ARE MANIFESTING THIS WIN LADIES! This are still too shaky in this house. I need more answers. I need more people. I just need a pint and a side hoe and I'm good. Everyone seems to be pairing up and I feel like I have no one to turn to right now. We got: Kristine and Chris Brien and Madison Eve and Mackenzie APPARENTLY: Dem and Andrew Austin and Silence Gwen and herself.. Kori and his "I'm in the army" references Me and my paranoia. THAT'S A LOT OF DUO'S in this game. ugh. I JUST NEED A PERSON someone I can trust. Someone who I know is going to ride with me for a while and I just don't see that happening. Which means crackhead Jess will come out eventually. So yeehaw. Also Eve wanting to take out people I'm close with like Will and Brien... no. NO. NOPE. Not happening. 

EMMA:

I think i am safe this week right now i am just trying to maintain my relationships in the house its still a little bit hard to see whos in power but i am told i am safe this week i hope i can win either week 5 or week 6 hoh because thats when those hoh effects the game.

KRISTINE:

IMMA TELL U WHATS UP!!! My life is a mess. I bought a property and Emma has the other one. We just need to find out who has the last one. And I swear to lord Jesus if it’s Gwen I’m going to be PISSEDDDD. That girl has got to goooo. I’m really nervous about Andrew being HOH because I know Chris is in danger and he’s literally my #1 person in this game. Me him and Emma need to make it through this round. I hate that Chris made an alliance that included Gwen and Brian. Since Brian knows our secret and Gwen is a great social player and honestly a comp threat that no one is taking notice of. It IS only round 4 which is fine but still... I don’t want to compete against someone like Gwen. Because I’ve trusted that person before and got super screwed. Thankfully, Chris agrees with me. Anyways. Please send me more money :))) my Venmo is https://venmo.com/code?user_id=2882981236572160313 PLEASE SEND MONEY

JESS:

Who gave out free samples of crack to the house? Last night I had a weird call with Eve. Essentially it seems like she wants Mackenzie to be given a power of the next property we buy so she can control the power via Mackenzie. I feel so bad for Mackenzie because when I've spoken to her she seems kind of discouraged about the way Eve talks to her sometimes. Which I totally get because I'm sometimes kind of shook by it all.  I reassured Mackenzie not to take it personally I just think Eve gets a tad bit overexcited with everything and kind of just shoots her shot. BUT. If these bitches think I'm their bitch they are GREATLY mistaken. In what world does me not getting the power this time when I literally gave up a property and money for Eve to get a power last time, work? If I was them I'd be throwing the power at my someone who isn't in the duo to make me feel safe and secure. I'm not giving up money and another power again, it ain't happening again. Kristine is all in my pm's now trying to figure out what is going now when it soooo transparent she doesn't trust me. Either Emma told her what I said about her and I not talking or homegirl really thinks that I haven't been hearing that she was leaking I was in a trio with Tawni and Gwen last round? Andrew being in power is good for me. He said he won't be putting me up, Eve wastes her power (although I kind of wanted it for us Chris going opens up the game a little more and takes a number away from the other "side" I see forming), and I think Andrew doing this will put some doubt into people's heads. This is all good for my game because it pushes another couple targets in front of me. My only concern right now is that Eve is going to expose that I traded her for that property.

KORI:

Alright checklist for the past 24 hours... Got both utilities to make the Monopoly... Check. Received the option to Open Pandora's Box as a result, and Opened it... Check. Is likely to get fucked over as a result of whatever twist comes of it... Check. Lost HoH and wasn't even close with Andrew winning it... Check. Was told that I was supposedly safe this week by the HoH... Check. Watched the Light Blue Properties get snagged with not much way to speculate who has them... Check. Missed out on $80 in Live Comps because I stayed after a bit at work and was driving... Fucking Check. I think that's everything, guess now I'm just gonna twiddle my thumbs a bit and hope Andrew isn't gonna nominate or backdoor me.

AUSTIN:

Su Andrew is HoH this week and he has nominated Madison and Silence for eviction but....I heard that he wants to backdoor Chris. I’m 100% ok with Chris going home because he always wants information from me but he never wants to give me any info in return. I was also picked for veto and I do not want to win because my Power Trap alliance wants the veto not to be used while my Mandela Monocles alliance wants it used on Silence so either way it goes if I won I would be screwed. Basically I threw the veto competition.

CHRIS:

HAHAHAHAH , if this isn’t a backdoor, I’m stupid. I know this is the case. For all that don’t know, me and Andrew are rivals because I targeted him in the last HoH competition and had people go after him. This caused him to be very butt hurt and a little bitch. Like bro , it’s a HoH completion where your dominating.. of course I’m going to go after you. I don’t care you called me safe, you are a threat since day one. Now I have Dem coming to me telling me all this information like bro.. what is you doing 😂. Thanks for feeding me information, you are not even in my final 5 but thanks for helping me ! This house is great and I know this backdoor won’t go through unless I’m over my head. Andrew , next time you have a chance, you should of gone for the head. 

ANDREW:

episode 4 So my plan for this week as of right now I’m gonna nominate madison and silence because they didn’t message me saying anything If chris gets picked for veto eve is going to use her veto redraw Hopefully veto is used by the winner I backdoor Chris Baby goes bye bye But also this pandora’s box is more than likely to fuck with me this week :/ My prediction is vote flip but i’m just going to carry on as normal cause i can’t ruin my game due to paranoia also my top 2 allegiances rn are Eve and Jess Lowkey scary that im not in any set alliances yet cuz i know there do be some probably But its okay bc it might work to my advantage later on when im the free agent that these whores need ALSO MARk my words here. If William nominates me when he gets hoh hes a fucking FRAUD he made a deal w me safety for safety and its a good thing cause i was going to nominate his ass instead of silence So far everything is going according to plan and Chris will be out of the house by the end of this week, Obviously if me silence or madison win there will be veto use William said he would use veto aswell Only thing: i’m rly bad at puzzles I lowkey hate that I talk so much in the house chat but I cant help it............I dont want peeps to think im annoying...Sorry I just wnt to contribute to everything its like a disease There is no better feeling than having Chris shake in his boots :heart: You rly fucked with the wrong twink babe He thinks he has the votes to stay. I just have to laugh Especially since he tried to discredit me telling him I was a threat to his game with the simple words of "Bet" Bitch Ill show u bet rq. This is gonna be a split vote i cant wait for this to potentially blow up in my face I am deadass providing a list for SIlence on people he needs to campaign to Like this bitch is not leaving the house My loyalties 

GWEN:

I really want Chris to stay. We’ve become really close in this game. People don’t know how close we actually are. If they did, my alliance would probably just want him out. The vote will be split, and sides will be chosen. Eve is trying to threaten everyone into voting Chris out. She is saying it’s a unanimous vote. Please. It’s clearly split. She needs to goooooo. Please please Chris stay!!

JESS:

What a fucking mess this vote is. This is what happens when cocky people get cocky and assume they have people on lock. I adore Eve and Andrew but... they should have thought this out a little better. I just.. I'm just.. I'm fucking livid. I don't get where Miss Thing Evelyn gets off saying stuff like "That’s my plea, stick your neck out and you will be rewarded". What are you going to reward me with? You warming the seat on the block for me after I'm gone because I sided with you? Thanks but if I wanted a seat warmer I'd go to Target not Walmart. But in all honesty, it's not like I don't want to do this move. I 10000% was into the idea but that's because I was sold the dream of it. I thought Andrew had more pull than he actually does. I knew Eve didn't have as much pull as she thought but Andrew I was wrong about. I was in a decent spot. I think? Kind of cruising the middle and now that spot is being blown up because it is CLEAR Andrew/Eve don't want to be the only ones to take the fall for this move. BUT.. I don't trust Dem to 1000% not get paranoid and flip and I don't want to be sitting on the sinking ship fucking alone. Dem is apparently going to just vote Chris so I guess I'm going to vote for Chris and hope for the best at this point. 

AUSTIN:

This week has been CRAZY! Basically Andrew won HoH and he wants Chris gone but he wants to backdoor him so he puts up Madison and Silence. Madison ends up winning the veto and Andrew replaces her spot with Chris. My dilemma is that I am in an alliance with Chris and Silence. I think Chris needs to go first because he is very sketchy. Also Silence can go next week easily. On top of all of this, I have been put in 2 alliances that I didn’t even know were forming. Each alliance wants somebody different to go home but I’m hoping that we have enough votes to evict Chris. 

JESS:

Also Brien is a shady ass hoe and I will be exposing his relationship if he fucks me with this vote. Plus, I knew his ass bought a property and traded it Emma with Kristine and didn't tell me. He's keeping secrets from me and I'm not playing this game like season 1 Sansa I'm playing this game like last season Cersei. No fucks given. I'll probably die soon. His ass is playing the middle and if I win he is going UP. Sorry but this isn't the Bachelor it is BIG BROTHER.

WILLIAM:

I'm so excited cause it looks like this is the vote that will get the game going! I love everyone and want to stay together but like I'm so ready to draw this line in the sand and cause some chaos going!

WILLIAM:

I dont know what Eve's deal is with this threatening game tactic, telling people "The vote will be 12-0" or "Is you dont vote with me it will be a mistake" but I cant wait to see her face come eviction night 😈

KRISTINE:

Absolutely no way in hell i'm letting Chris get evicted. I refuse to let my #1 ally go home because of Andrew's ego being bruised. I'm hoping that my deal with Emma and Brien goes through and that she is able to use the power to basically threaten everyone into voting the way that they said they were going to vote. Again, I REFUSE to let Chris go home this week. Not that I have anything against Silence because he's just like... there but I'm more worried about who is staying versus who needs to go. Anyways, Emma better not be lying about using this power now... or else I will come for her. Chris is like my little brother who is older then me and I will protect him at all costs that I can!

EMMA:

MACKENZIE:

i am NOT looking forward to this vote??? i still don’t know what im doing but i think this is going to be a shitshow

KORI:

So Kristine has dropped a shit load of Tea on me, which has led me to question everything. APPARENTLY there's a Gwen-Chris-Kristine-Brien Alliance. Additionally there was a Chris-Austin-Dem-Kristine alliance. (Though that 2nd one is kaputz with Austin wanting Chris out and Dem being upset with Austin.) Emma got that Vote Reveal which presumably, Myself and Jess know, and I can only imagine Kristine and Brien probably know given they were the other Light Blue property holders that both agreed to give the properties to Emma. So at the very least that's not a power I have to outright fear because I know who has it, I know what the Utilities did. (Sortof, still waiting on that Pandora's Box) The Browns are presumably gone assuming that Veto Shuffle was a one time thing. (That power honestly makes sense since Early on it's Useful but later in the game it'd be worthless.) Unfortunately either Eve or me is being hustled and given that Eve has a biased opinion others know about in relation to this vote, I'm liable to believe more people would lie to Eve about voting Chris than me just because I'm not a biased person right now. If it weren't for the heart to heart me and Chris had as well as really hashing it out with Gwen I don't think I'd be keeping Chris, however based on what I know about the Chris-Dem-Kristine relationship (Thanks Kristine) I doubt Dem was actually with Eve for the vote anyway, which means for Chris to go I'd have had to convince either Gwen or Emma to vote him out which we all know is against their best interests. My best bet right now is to try and recover from any blunders from this round with as much social capital I can walk away with and hope whatever happens with Pandora's Box doesn't just completely screw me over. I'm just ready for this headache of a week to be over, but given it's a live comp next, I'm expecting this next round to be just as trash.

[incendavery]

gosh, thank you! that is so sweet??? I hope you (and any other of my followers who celebrate!) have/had a very happy Eid!💖 💕

on another note, I’ve finally gotten around to cleaning out my askbox! under the cut is almost every ask I’ve gotten that i haven’t answered in the past.... I’m not sure. it’s been a WHILE though.

as a warning, there’s all sorts of stuff, and it’s all untagged! also also, if you sent one of these asks and want me to remove it, just let me know!

yes!! @fuckaspunk IS super sweet and talented and i AM very lucky to have them! and I’ve heard from reliable sources that the feeling is mutual~~💕

i’m glad my comics make you feel less alone; that’s a rough situation you’re in. i really hope you find yourself in a better environment soon!

thank you!!!💕

thank you for understanding! and yes, aidan is a huge help to me??? even when they’re not answering asks, they’re always supporting me in some way, whether that’s making sure I’ve eaten enough, or talking me through my anxiety, or all the other ways they’re there for me every single day💕💕

ok, my tips are!!:

draw as much as possible! even if it’s just lines and shapes with no meaning, you’re still developing your hand/eye skills

BUT: dont draw if you’re not feeling it! if you’re feeling fried, it’s better to take a break. go on a walk to somewhere scenic, read your favorite book, listen to some new music, hang out with friends, or just take a nap! rest up and find some inspiration! you can come back to your sketchbook when you feel energized again

draw stuff that you like! you’ll improve way faster if you’re passionate about what you’re doing

look at art you like with a critical eye. try to examine the different components and figure out what you think works or doesn’t work. try incorporation those components into your own work

read a lot of tutorials and other resources, but take what they say with a grain of salt

ultimately, remember that the only real rule to drawing is that doing it should make you happy

good luck!! i do my best not to pick, but it’s a real struggle; i have lots of scars from it too. ;v; im cheering for you!!!

ALWAYS!!!! if you do, please show me!! my notifications get real busy, but anyone is welcome to IM me any time!

thank you! i actually get very worried about my style; i tend to admire artists with complex linework and delicate shading, so i often feel my style is far to simple! so thank you!!

that is really high praise????? gosh??!?!?!? best of luck with the next three years; i hope you grow to be someone you like even better than me!

thank you!!

peanut time is the best!! i haven’t gotten to do a proper one in a while though ;-; i’ve mostly been feeding the crows on my way back home from night shifts, when i give them the reject eggs from the continental breakfast.

wow, neat!! chickens are so wonderful; i cont wait until i can have some of my own :>

dont be nervous! i know i can be hard to get ahold of over the internet (bc i get overwhelmed easily) and hard to talk with irl (bc i get so nervous and interacting w ppl doesn’t come naturally to me AT ALL) but honestly i?? love making new friends??!

thank you!!? im thankful every day that someone as radient as aidan is in my life for the long haul

thank you!!!!!!!💕

i completely feel that? its ok to hit rough patches! just do your best!!

i dont remember what i felt bad about but THANK YOU💕💕

honestly its done me worlds of good to share my art?? hearing people talk about how they go through all the same shit i do makes me feel so much less alone, especially on the toughest days! so i guess thank you, and thank you?

youre welcome!!!! :>

huh!! i dont know much about shoegaze (other than thinking abt that post abt the guy who pronounced it like fugazi I THINK ABT THAT EVERY TIME) but thats real neat!! im glad youve found something that works for you!!

hey, neat middle name! and youre very welcome; i hope things have been looking up for you since you sent this?💕

i dont remember when this was from but im currently doing really well with my meds!! i switched to a combination of lexapro in the morning and benadryl in the evening, and its been working super well!✨

thank you??!! ;o; i would love to see all your favorite birds!!

hey, right back atcha!!!

:0

ty!!!

hey. thank YOU

you’re absolutely not bothering me! thank you so much!!

!!!!!!!!!!

hey, nice! im glad you like both me and my music!

gosh thanks?!?!

she is the most beautiful and handsome!!!!!!!!!!!! i love her! thank you from both of us!!!!

aw, gosh! im sure i like you too!!

this was from.... A WHILE AGO.... but youre welcome?? i just wish i could have done more

hey, thank you so much!!!!!

thank YOU and a very very belated merry christmas!!!

that does make sense!! reconciling friendships and crushes is tricky business. the best i can say to you is to be as honest and open with each other as you can

i dont personally get those, but ive heard of people experiencing them as a sideeffect when coming off or switching meds

i think these two are part of the same message? but oh man yeah that sucks when ppl are misgendering you AND hitting on you at the same time. on a different note, ive never heard of using a corset to stim before! neat!

i mean, 1. depression doesn’t care if you have a “””good””” reason and 2. ive literally never met anyone w depression (including myself) who thinks that they do have a “””good””” reason for having it. thats the insidious part of depression, is that it makes you think that theres nothing wrong and that its all just you not measuring up in some way

so i guess that would make you.... someone with depression?

real BAD

💕 💖 💞  💓  💗

not yet haha THANK YOU

hey, im glad you like it!! since this blog has gotten so big, its kinda my happy place to be? (for anyone wondering, my reblog blog/personal is @spinels!

that IS a fun fact!! thank you!

it’s absolutely ok! i get a little bitter when people take my work WAY out of context (for example, straight people removing the caption that says “im just really gay” before tagging their bf/gf) but i am 100% ok and happy with people relating to my work in a different way than i intended (ex: a comic i made about being ashamed of my derma getting reblogged by someone struggling to be ok w their visible burn scars)

hoo gosh, thank you!!

glad to have you here!! im glad people can relate to some of the weirdly specific shit i write about tbh???

i’m sorry its taken so long for me to get back to you; that a terrible situation

if you have a teacher you trust, i would absolutely bring it up to them. that is 100% not an ok thing for those kids to be doing. at all.

im glad you at least have your friends that support you! 

:0 WAIT is this someone i know through ucsc?? :0 :0 :0

HA 

aaaa thank you! that is high praise ;v;

i have no words; this is such a touching message. thank you so much ;v;

this is belated but!! the main creative community i can recommend is kzsc, the radio station! i had a real cool time there, and its a great way to make friends and connect with ppl of all sorts! :0

yeah, its totally normal! ive had roommates ive been super tight with, and roommates who i barely ever hung around with. its natural! i doubt you’ll finish college w/o finding a roomie that you get ~The Roomie Experience~ with though, even if its like a housemate or s/t!! ;0

i’ve never been told that, actually! neat!! (and wow?? i cant believe i inspire ppl.... wow......... what a concept tbh??)

oh yikes... i do hope youre feeling better :( im glad my comics can help a little bit at least!

💕 💖 💞  💓  💗!!!

HUGS

i dont remember what this was in reference to, but good to know?

also good to know!?

i think the crows and jays do! i dunno about the squirrels and other birds. and thank you!!

the youth gang..... i love it..... how good???!

i wrote about getting yuri right here! he’s a southern alligator lizard and i love him to bits. 

heres a pic of the Long Boy doin his thing:

hey neat! i’m glad youve chosen a lame you can be proud of!!💖

ive never heard of that!! wow

what play is this?? :0 :0 :0 im so curious now!!

oh SHUCKS...,,,,,,,,,, ;v;

hahahaha omg thank u

i dont actually have any more of them interacting, unfortunately! the owl isnt one specific person, like a lot of my characters are meant to represent. the owl more represents as a whole all the people i run into in my life that i am very very gay for.

thank you!!!

youre very welcome! im glad you feel better!!!!

aaa gosh thank you!!!

hhhhfgh ive gotten less of it recently BUT YEAH that was bad times™️ 

thanks for the info!!! :0

no problem! a lot of the credit honestly goes to @fuckaspunk, who is always keeping me updated on that sort of stuff.

i didn’t know that! a lot of the symbolism seems to come from multiple sources sometimes, from what ive seen?

aaaa gosh omg thank you ;v;

aw thank you???!!

nice!!! oct 24 bdays go!!!

thank you!! it really does mean a lot actually!!!!!!!

of course?? antisemitism cant be ignored in this fight

aw, thats so cute! id love to hear what headcanons you have tbh???

hey thanks?! this is really cool to hear, tbh. i try to be positive most of the time, but im not going to like,,, kid myself when im not feeling it and im glad that other people can appreciate that too, ya know?

wow!!

(this one!) thank you i love that one too???!

hey, im glad you found your way here!! thank you so much!!!

aaaa ty! 

hmmm i have two leopard geckos, and they made very good beginning lizards for me and aidan! but i would maybe ask someone a bit more experienced than me, like @kaijutegu​ or @wheremyscalesslither​!!

thank you!!

one day at a time! (but seriously, thank you!!)

yummy yummy sauce...... ty!!!

awww, gosh! thank you!?

AAAA TY BOTH I GET SO SELF-CONSCIOUS ABT MY VOICE,,,,, ;o;

:0 i havent watched that, but it sounds rly cool!!

i like that fun fact a lot! ty!!

pae stands for paerlin, which is what @fuckaspunk​‘s internet handle used to be! i used it to refer to them on my blog in secret back when they still didnt know i had a crush on them.... ;//v//;

aaaaa thank you!!!  ;o;

nice nice nice ty!!

>:0 get back down here!! (jk that’s rly neat! highfive!!) 

those are all good words that i like!! thank you!!!!

i dont know anything about him, but i looked him up and i guess i can see it?!

@fishcrow is really cool! ive never really interacted with them, but im p sure were mutuals...? anyway yeah their comics are rly cute and cool!

that is me! thank you; i hope things go well for you as well!

hello to you too!

aaaa ty!!! tbh the number of nice anons i get way way way outnumbers the mean ones <3

thank you! thank YOU for existing!

:0 chocolate croissant, here i come!!!

thank you!!!!!!💕

its literally my pleasure!!!

aaa ty!!! 💕💕

hehe im glad! 

sldf;j;sfjdklfdslfjs thank you so much?????? what a compliment omg gosh

yeah!! i have a hard time on settling what class id be, but i feel like id be a heart player! 

ohh um! im not sure which pens youre referring to, but if you mean the ones I use for my comics, i color them with Winsor & Newton ProMarkers, and I do the lines with a purple fine-point Sakura Gelly Roll Classic pen! i also use micron pens of all different sizes and colors in some of my non-diary comic art!

aww thank you so much!!

:0 :) :0 !!!!!!

ty!!! ive grown to love him very much as well!!

thank you! i hope you are doing well also!!

i love them very much?!! id put a picture but i dont have one with all four of them so instead imagine me lying on the floor crying abt how much i love them bc thats me basically every day

you dont mean......

?!?!?!?!?!?!

awwww ty!!!

HEY WOW

aaa gosh thank you!💕

DOUBLE FOLLOW

gay dragons combine the best of both very good things: gay and dragons. im glad you appreciate them w me tysm ;v;

aaa what a lovely message! ty💕

3rd-shift-working, depression-having, corvid-loving solidarity fistbumnp!!!!

huh! ive never heard of that; ill check it out maybe!!

ah im really glad? tysm!!💕

my understanding is that it helps people who have text-to-speech readers? but im honestly not as well informed on that as i should be! 

hell yeah!!!! 

gosh!!!!!

hnmngnhng youve probably already made a decision but i just gotta say.........shadow rulez

delicious!!

i havent!! i really want to though!

oh man ALL THE TIME. i usually try to either reality check with someone i trust, or to do an activity thats easy and i know i can do, or both!

i love andre and karl!!! its actually a huge influence on me and my art tbh??? 

i had a good (and safe) trip! ty!!!

hey, thank you!!!

oh jeez thats bad :( i think this was in response to when i needed to wait between med refills?

i cant give a precise reason, tbh! when it comes to whats lucky, i just sort of.... go with my gut, ya know?

thank you!! 👍

that sure sounds like insomnia! its almost hard for me to say tbh, bc ive had trouble sleeping for as long as i can remember, so NOT having trouble sleeping is bizarre and unrealistic to me haha... but i think the bottom line is, if its interrupting your daily routine and making it hard for you to have enough energy, then its something you should look into remedies for!

:0 :0 :0

ohhh how nice! ill give it a try! :>

omg,,,, nope, just me!

thank you!!!!!!

honestly? thats such a good way to look at it i love the idea of my blog as a big zine

always!!!!! go for it!!!

hey, thank you so much!!!!!

omg, thats so great! thank you!

im so glad; thank you!!!

thank you so much!💖 (and mexico, neat! i love hearing where people are following from??)

aaaaaaaaaaaa ;//v//; thank you??? i get so happy whenever ppl tell me they like my singing aaaaaaa

aw, hey, no worries! money is all well and good, but in some ways, messages like this mean just as much!

its cool that comic gave you plural feels! im def not a system though :> 

its tricky, isnt it? i still feel like im no good at it lmao

LISTEN,,, there is a 99.9999% chance i wont notice, and a 100% chance i wont judge. reblog away! 

THANK YOU ARENT THEY THE BEST I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

thank you!! i hope you have a good day as well!

aaa ty!!💖

aa ty! (what a cool name!!! im kind jealous ngl!)

awww thank you💖

i do my best! i just worry when im not active, bc i tend to connect my self-worth to my output (;^; )

aaaaa ty!! 💖

!!!!!!!!!!!! omg wow i love being called a pretty boy???? ty???????

hey, neat! crow high-five!

aw, thank you!!! 💖

im doing my best! thank you so much, messages like this really help when im in a place like that tbh ;v;

gosh this is so sweet? thank you so muhc !!?

thank you all!! im sorry that saying thank you over and over sounds so repetitive, but i truely do mean it for every one of you!!!

i am..... one of those things!

well thank you!!

ohoho~✨

thank you! and honestly im sure it does??

hey, cool! good for you!!!!!!! and ty!!

aw gosh thank you!💖

hey, wow! thats super cool; thank you so much!

(i dont follow the first person i followed on tumblr anymore.... they became a hockey blog rip haha)

aaaah, thank you so much!!

almost???

i do!! drunken lullabies is an absolute banger!!!!!!!!!!

i am!!!! thank you!!

aw, ty!!! 💖

hee hee, thank you! 

my biggest tip honestly?? have someone who can be by your side to help you with... basically everything... during your recovery. bc trust me, i was n o t  a v a i l a b l e. i spent a lot of my recovery playing 2048 at the same time as watching tv, bc doing both at once distracted me from how much the bandages itched.

thank you!! (i think this was in reference to getting top surgery!)

how shitty??????? yikes. i hope your supervisor has your back??? bc wow????

hey!!! thank you!!! i draw all my comics traditionally on paper! im not sure what you mean by the writing though? if you mean the word bubbles, i do those by hand on paper too!

I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND THAT FEELING,,,, im so happy ppl talk to me, but i get really nervous about saying the wrong thing. 

when i’m down, i usually crave validation. i like being reminded about things ive done right! i also like gentle reality checks, like, ‘hey: this is the situation, this is what we can do about it. ok? ok’

i unfortunately dont have any!! i had a couple at one point, but they’ve since been lost to the depths of my old laptop. and hey, thank you so much!!

now thats a nifty trick!! im terrible at telling all my white tablets from each other lmao

!!!!!!! ITS ME!!!!!!!!

maybe you just need some space? i know i sometimes temporarily block people i know, if i need some private space or if i dont trust myself to keep cool and solve problems constructively. do what you need to do to feel at ease, and go from there, ya know?

thank you!!!

its,,,, up somewhere above in this monster post lmao i,m so sorry,,,,

thank you so much!!!

WOW NO WORRIES??,,,,,,,,, INCREDIBLE 10/10???????

all four of these came right after i gave myself a hair cut and THANK YOU SO MUCH??? i live for validation and it feels so good to have my actions affirmed ;o;

[thxwanderer]

All the Muses

So, basically, the way my brain is set up, I have 3 sections of muses. I just never talk about it bc college saps away creativity and time? but I have : in use, periodical, and on reserve. In use are all of the ones I actively use, even if one is used more so than another. Periodical muses are muses that I switch out with current ones; I have almost the same amount of periodical muses as i do current ones, so I will probably always stick with 6-7 muses at one time. My on reserve muses are muses that are only used in specific ships or with specific people. I may make them periodical but I haven’t thought that far ahead. Note that some muses will always be in use. I don’t own any of the FCs; only characters I own are Lu, Seyong, Myungsoo, Han, and Killian.

Muses in total ; approx. 16, may end at 18.

In Use

Steve Rogers [ The Brave ] { Cappy Cap. Captain ‘Murica. My sweet tall asf boy scout. Gentle giant asf. Really nurturing and caring with basically a dad mentality at the tower. Always busy with the workings of the avengers and shield and paperwork and missions and Tony. And Bucky. but that’s another thing altogether. draws in the park in his spare time to unwind. eats too much. really likes knowing where everyone is and that they’re alright. not the best person in the world but tries to be. feels out of his depth often. super genuine and likable. awkward when hes nervous. loves Lu. like seriously, Lu is like his child. literally the reason I continued to rp when I was about two seconds away from quitting altogether. He’s a keeper. Will always be in use.

Lu Omorose [ The Sweet ] { Egyptian Mau hybrid, from cairo, egypt, got his soul split in two and hes the good half, tiny asf, will break your heart by accident be warned. used to work at a candy store bc he brought in revenue. glorified house cat. avengers tower new mascot. is honestly a child who needs love 25/7. is into archaeology tho bc he really likes old things. loves all of the avengers equally but still loves Steve more than that. is terrified of losing his family. basically my very, very first character and i’ve been rping for a very long time at this point and even after all the bs, i couldn’t give him up. even now, it makes me anxious about using him, but im so happy to still have him around. will always be in use .}

Calypso [ The Beauty ] { is based off of Calypso from The Odyssey. My red headed baddie that i love so much. Literally a goddess nymph and is the daughter of a titan. loves all the fishies. heiress so super rich. runs a floral arrangement shop to pass time when shes not modeling or attending shitty galas. part time avenger but really hates team work. loves her cat Sushi more than the other roommates except lu. Domme, wants a pet some times but knows time commitments would be unfair .}

Myungsoo [ The Tortured ] {vampire. quite emo or at least everyone thinks he is. they aren’t half wrong. wanders like Seyong but he actually prefers New York over all. is into languages so he does translations. is hella old. doesn’t like social interaction but is forced into it by his environment. likes sunrises. hates making lu cry. feels calm when he can pet jae in his bunny form because then jae won’t be able to talk. really hates people who chew with their mouth open and take their lives for granted. doesn’t like weaklings, besides lu and jae.  suddenly has friends and doesn’t know what to do about it???? might always be in use. not sure yet .}

Tony Stark [ The Gamble ] { iron man. dont get me started. super conceited. do not rain on his parade. really a huge dweeb but also can be Petty Labelle. actually loves his new little family to bits. will never say it out loud. Ask him about godric. He’ll gush like a 12 yr old. def thinks hes better than harris. will tell it to her face. has told it to her face. ha..}

Tidus Abrasax [ The Royal ] { newest character added, haven’t used him much bc im not sure where i want his character to go. is more conceited/airheaded/full of himself than Tony and that’s saying something. is fixing his damaged ship which is why he’s stuck on earth rn. lives in his invisible ship/mansion above the tower. really can’t stand humans but is trapped so might as well make the best of it. is an intergalactic hoe. avid fan of making love, as they say. is growing fond of Earth food, especially ice cream. im hoping he’ll be able to open up somewhat .}

Koriand’r of Tamaran [ The Star ] { Starfire from original teen titans. really naive. worse than lu by far. is def in love with Robin.she is so kind and sweet but also really sensitive. she lives at the titans tower. she speaks with the weirdest mannerisms and hugs strangers. really likes cotton candy. May switch out with a periodical character instead or move to reserve list .}

Periodicals

~FC for Seyong is in the process of changing~

Seyong [ The Wanderer ] { Wandering poet. Snow fox hybrid born and abandoned in Russia. much snark. rooms with Myungsoo when he’s not traveling but he’s always traveling soo??? also Myung’s self proclaimed best friend. Myung don’t claim him tho. they used to travel together before they joined the team. is afraid of being abandoned like when he was a child .}

Makoto “Lita” Kino [ The Muse ] { is Sailor Jupiter. Moved from Japan to New York. super super sweet and loyal asf. goes to culinary school. part time avenger and works best with Thor. avengers tower chef so she can practice her skill. usually bsuy with working for a restaurant. often visits Tokyo to take on enemies there with the other sailor scouts .}

Han Omorose [ The Sour ] { Lu’s twin. horrible personality tbh. will square up. i repeat: will squre tf up. leopard hybrid. taller twin, black hair instead of golden. negl he’s a lot smarter and better at basic things than lu so he used to look after him. no longer lives at the tower. rly funny tho. has a thing for leather jackets. Has a bae .}

> Clint Barton [ The Fighter ] { CLINT! YAS! Hawkeye. One of my faves. Extra sassy sauce. Follows original comics so hes deaf and uses hearing aids + can read lips. funny asf. loves to play around with lu. is sad that lu prefers Steve. usually on missions or chilling with Tasha. honestly just down to earth and seriously good people. always brings the guac and queso. dont touch his bow. ever .}

Castiel [ The Righteous ] { i don’t think anyone really knows how much i really love cas and dean and sam and crowley and bobby and charlie and KEVIN TRAN- but yeah, its angel!cas and he was never a human so he’s still horrible at understanding anything. basically season 4 cas. not sure when i want to switch him to in use ;; .}

Peter Quill [ The Adventure ] { when i initially created him, i didn’t get to use him much but he. is. so. fuckn. hilarious. based off of the movies but i have read comics. He is not so much of a hoe though. is a non-romance character. is starlord to a T. go on an adventure with him, get lost on the wrong planet, escape enemy territory, lose your mind. he’s seriously one of my funniest characters. i really like humor so i can’t help myself. he’s really witty and whenever he’s on earth, he’s super close with Wade. You can... see why... similar humor. Asks Calypso on dates, even when he’s not on Terra. She always says no. He’s not giving up .}

On Reserve

Mariano Di Vaio [ The Creator ] { College student, writer, heir to an empire. part of a poly ship with Dyl and Dani. no other interactions as of this moment. he’s from Italy and his family pretty much runs the biggest drug empire Italy has ever known. his dad wants him to take over a branch one day but all he wants to do is be a writer. Went to school in america so he could escape his overbearing family .}

Wade Wilson [ The Destructive ] { Deadpool at his finest- or worst? he’s thoughtless, clueless, dazed and confused, and deadly. dating Peter Parker. Might shift him to periodical, just not sure if anyone will want to deal with his shenanigans outside of Peter. He can really be too much at times. but you’ll never be bored .}

Killian Bass [ The Dominant ] { Half brother to Chuck Bass. Gossip Girl verse bc i’m GG trash. He is extremely businss savvy and has a condo in the upper east side when he visits his brother but he runs the branch of Bass Industries based in South Korea. Into fashion, very particular about everything. Has a pet/boyfriend, a red panda named Theo. Turns into a buttery mess for Theo. is a dom, sometimes he can be a bit uptight .}

If you made it to the end, you are a trooper. I love you. 

[guaek]

wheebyul

AAHHAFHSDHFADJFA YESSS thanks molly (and anon, too, who asked for wheebyul as well) YALL READY FOR THIS BC MAN O MAN I’M A BIT RUSTY BUT IM READY

who said “i love you first”ok lets talk 2 diff scenarios: when sober, moonbyul bc she’s such a cheesefest like everything that comes out of her mouth is so CHEESY AND CRINGE but wheein loves it so much god she rly REALLY loves it esp when its to her she fucking bathes in byul’s romantic cheese. and when drunk, wheein - which, ok, is some kind of AU here idek like wheebyul trying to outdrink each other and damn both of them are drunk outta their minds and whoopsie did wheein say that? did byul hear it? and is hwasa recording this? is solar asking for the check now? or asking for more fritters god knows

who would have the other’s picture as their phone backgroundBITCH THIS SHIT IS SO CUTE OFC BOTH OF THEM WILL like byul’s will be of wheein and ggomo and wheein’s will be of byul and daebak bUT OH MY GOD IMAGINE THEY HOLD EACH OTHER’S PETS LIKE BYULS BG IS WHEEIN W/DAEBAK AND WhEEIN’S BG IS BYUL W/GGOMO OH GOD AS I LIVE AND BREATHEEEEEE but u kno they can also have polaroids on the backs of their phones too or photobooth pics and all those stupid ass fluffy coupley bullshitt GOD I AM FINE

who leaves notes written in fog on the bathroom mirroroh for sure byul but u kno wheein would go the extra mile like she’d write sth AND draw sth cute as shit for byul U KNO This TO BE TRUE AGREE WIH ME OR FIGHT ME IN THE PIT

who buys the other cheesy giftsso it SEEMS to me that byul always buys panties (lingerie) for her girls so im gonna say wheein buys cheesy gifts actually scratch that they’d buy each other cheesy gifts and try to outdo each other like who is cheesier than the other they make it into some goddamn competition dumb babus

who initiated the first kissok at first i thought byul but thats such a fucking fake idea like if u are a tru wheebyul shipper u would say wheein bc HELLO HAVE U NOT SEEN WHEEIN ALWAyS GOING TO BYULS BUBBLE ALL THE TIME AND SHIT SHE KNOWS BYUL’S WEAKNESS WHEEIN IS SUCH A TOP SHE WEARS THE PANTS IN THIS RELATIONSHIP BYUL IS A WHIPPED MOFO ok this was about first kiss and what im SAYING HERE is that wheein would initiate bc she just dgafs and tbh she wants on that moon byulyi ride

who kisses the other awake in the morningbyul is such an up-and-at’em kid so it’s byul bc she’d wake up first, just look at wheein, breathe her in, caress her hair out of her face, maybe take a pic and keep it as leverage (bc wheein sleeps with her mouth open when she’s hella tired) and then byul would start to leave tiny kisses on wheein’s forehead, nose, cheeks, chin and finally on the lips HELLOOOOOOOOOOO I AM GONE WITH tHE WIND WITH THsI FLUFF??????? I DONT WANT TO BE HeRE ANYMORE??????????

who starts tickle fightsbyul is SUCH a sneaky little shit so she’d start this shit but wheein’s an even sneakier little shit ESPECIALLY to byul so yea byul can start but wheein ends it on her terms (i mean byul should kno not to mess with her gf but she does anyways bc what the hell wheein loves it too)

who asks if they can join the other in the showerok i just thought like byul is conservative~ and all that so i think she might ask but honestly?? yall been dating for so long and T B H yall have forsure been fuckin in the shower those new pianoman endings got me thinking otherwise i mean………….BUT ANYWAYS byul would ask. but wheein? she’d jump right in (saves water, wheein says) (byul thinks the opposite but yall aren’t gonna hear her complain)

who surprises the other in the middle of the day at work with lunchbyul bc wheein is so busy making money doing collabs here and there and like even if this was for some au, byul would still be the one doing it bc even if it seems like byul is a perfectionist (though all of them are), i think byul knows best on how to take care of others when they’re too focused on their tasks. esp wheein, such a free bird soul byul is wheein’s nest tbh WOW WHICH IS SYNONYMOUS TO BYUL IS WhEEIN’S HOME?? HOW DID WE GO FROM LUNCH SURPRISE TO EACH OTHER’S HOME???

who was nervous and shy on the first dateok tbh this is hard i think byul bc yea maybe she’ll be smooth af and be the most gentlewoman to ever gentlewoman but deep down but not so deep down she’s still a complete nerd but its ok bc wheein’s prob just as nervous too bc she’s a complete dork who’s so extra all the time WOW DORK AND NERD They COMPLETE EACH OTHER I AM A-OKAY FOLKS ARE U???????

who kills/takes out the spidersbyul forsure. maybe one day (or more often than not) she pranks wheein with fake insects but wheein can read through byul’s pranks now so they team up to prank solar

who loudly proclaims their love when they’re drunkTO CONTINUE FROM THe FIRST QUESTION lets say byul hears wheein say it first….and wheein catches herself like oh shit now what and byul sees and it feels like an out of body experience bc, for one, she can’t recall how many bottles of soju and/or sake they’ve been drinking and two, is hwasa rly recording this shit? so byul downs her shot, slams the glass down and puts her hands on wheein’s cheeks and says “you are so cute you’re too cute for me you’re too good for me” and kisses her and at this point we’re all hwasa and solar being all “the fuck??????” and byul drunkenly yells to hwasa’s phone thats recording all this, “I LOVE YOU TOO JUNG WHEERUN I RLY DO SINCE WE FIRST MET” bc YALL KNOW byul was a gone motherfucker for wheein since the beginning BC THEY ARE MFEO. and damn is wheein blushing from embarrassment or relief or asian glow?? is hwasa praising byul and pouring more shots for them?? and yea this time solar is asking for the check and the girls prove to her yet again why she doesn’t drink 

OKAY THat IS ENOUGH FROM ME ARE WE HAPPY WIth THIS BC I AM LKE IM IN HELL I FUCKING THROTTLED MYSELF HEAD FIRST TO HELL JOIN ME

[pacman-tattoo]

All odd o:

iM GONNA PUT THIS UNDER A READMORE BC ITS LONG…

   1. What is you middle//full name?

i’m not gonna say my full name for privacy purposes, but my first + middle names are Tristen Mackenzie

   3. What is your birthday?

May 23rd!

   5. What is your favorite color?

aw man like… light pink? dark purple? cerulean blue??? all good.

   7. Do you have any pets?

yes!!!! i have a cat and her name is rose and i love her

   9. How tall are you?

5′3″-ish? i’m not exactly sure

   11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

uh… 3 i think? 5 counting both pairs of character shoes though!

   13. What talents do you have?

as a lot of ppl who follow this blog, i’m pretty good at writing! other than that, i like to think i’m pretty decent at singing and acting, and i draw a lot. other than that??? idk

   15. Favorite song?

i answered this but i’ll just add more: A Soft Place to Land from Waitress

also Teen Idle and Primadonna by Marina and the Diamonds!!

   17. Who would be your ideal partner?

alright so like my ideal partner is definitely someone who just loves me for who i am and doesn’t force me to change, y’know? someone supportive who’s kinda ready to take me as i am with all the baggage i have and still loves me in the end but doesn’t take any bullshit? like, they accept i have problems but won’t let said problems excuse my actions. someone who can help me improve on who i am, i guess?

also someone sweet and gentle and just understands, y’know??

idk i haven’t put much thought into a person past that, since i guess all i want is someone who actually gives a shit?

   19. Do you want a church wedding?

uh personally i don’t really care even tho it’d probably piss off my family i guess??? like, it could be or it couldn’t be and it probably wouldn’t make too much of a difference for me because imo it’s a wedding either way???? idk man

   21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

like, me being in the hospital? no. visiting people? yeah

   23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

uhhh i met a guy off of broadway once he was cool i think his name was andrew or matthew or something and he was in pippin and actually was charlemange the night we saw the show!! i wish i could remember his name because he gave me really good advice about basically sharpening what i wasn’t good at when it came to theatre

   25. What color socks are you wearing?

none

   27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

like… i mean, i wouldn’t be against it? as long as it’s for something i’m proud of, i guess???

   29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

nnnope

   31. What position do you usually sleep in?

i usually lie on my stomach when i sleep!!! idk why it’s been kind of a recent thing??? like i use to sleep on my left side for years and over the last year or two i’ve started sleeping on my stomach for whatever reason

   33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

i usually don’t wake up early enough to actually eat breakfast but i like to make scrambled eggs and toast!! because effort

   35. Have you ever tried archery?

no but i want to :’O

   37. Favorite swear word?

eh, probably just ‘fuck’ because i’m not creative

   39. Do you have any scars?

i have a reaaaaaaally faint scar going up my leg from when i did something stupid and was scratched by a wire!!!

   41. Are you a good liar?

depends on the lie and who i’m telling said lie to, honestly.

   43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

uh i can kinda do a russian accent like Stereotypical Russian and i can do a southern accent (which works because i’m from the south but i have no accent i swear), and i can do a kinda posh accent??? idk man i should sit around and just attempt accents one day.

i’m good at mimicking mercy from overwatch sometimes tho but only when i’m playing her because it’s more of me just sitting there echoing whatever she says i guess

   45. What is your favorite accent?

idk my russian accent is at least fun to sit around and say shit in

also just??? idk what you would call it other than Stuck Up White Girl but that’s also kinda fun because i literally will sit around and say stupid shit

   47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

that’s honestly a good question and i couldn’t tell you because i barely remember anything like lemme check amazon because i have this dress??? that was probably expensive

it actually wasn’t too expensive it was only 35-ish dollars??? idk then i tend to not buy expensive clothes

   49. Are you an innie or an outie?

innie

   51. Are you scared of spiders?

hhholy fck yeah i nearly panicked yesterday when there was a spider in my car like i was almost gone but my brother got it

   53. Favorite foreign food?

honestly that’s hard but i??? fukn???? love??? chicken enchiladas????

also does fondue count bc it’s from switzerland and i love fondue like cheese??? good. chocolate??? heaven.

   55. Most used phrased?

probably like “idk man” because i just Don’t Know

   57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

depends!!! sometimes it can be around 30-40, sometimes an hour, sometimes i’ll be ready in 10 minutes i don’t do makeup and throw on something decent

   59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

i tend to mostly suck???? that doesn’t sound sexual i swear why does everything have to sound sexual jfc

   61. Do you sing to yourself?

i think we all know the answer to this one. it’s a definite yes and anyone who thinks otherwise doesn’t know me tbh

   63. Biggest Fear?

dying young, i guess? it’s something that kinda haunts me still and idk of anything that’d be a bigger fear than that for me rn

   65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

idk i rarely watch movies????

   67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

i mean i’d probably leave a few out but i can

i took a thing and i got like, 35-36 out of the 50 so that’s good i guess

   69. Extrovert or Introvert?

def an introvert

   71. What makes you nervous?

what doesn’t make me nervous tho

uh i guess just??? driving in silence makes me nervous

honestly any silence makes me nervous because i need at least some sort of constant noise??? tests are hell, man.

   73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

depends on the mistake??? i tend to but if it’s just something really minor i won’t bother the person.

   75. Have you ever started a rumor?

nah i dont think so. if i have then??? whoops. i know a guy who started (or at least tried to?) rumors about himself tho it was weird

   77. Have you ever drank underage?

not rly??? i’ve had sips of stuff but that was usually with my parents and it wasn’t enough to make me feel anything. altho next time my friend and i hang out without her parents there i might drink a little, just to be able to say ‘i did the thing’ since i kinda wanna do teenage shit while i still can i guess?????

   79. Who was your first real crush?

guy i knew/know (we’re kinda friends??? like we talk but we don’t make extra effort to do so imo???) named jacob!!! he let me down gently because he was also the first person i confessed to, and altho i kinda regret it, i still had that rejection so at least i don’t have to deal with that shit with someone else being “that first rejection” or w/e

   81. Can you roll your Rs?

aaaa sadly no i wish i could tho!!!

   83. How fast can you run?

i don’t think i’m fast but i think i’m fast enough

   85. What color is your eyes?

blue!

   87. Do you keep a journal?

i kinda used to??? i stopped writing in it for a while…   89. Do you like your age?

ehh kinda??? like…? i’m still technically a “““teenager”““ (even tho i technically count until i’m 20 but legally i’m an adult at 18) but it kinda sucks because being 17 is lowkey kinda stressful because woah ur a senior in high school time for u to be forced into thinking you need to choose a good college that will get u a degree for a job you’ll always be in for the rest of ur life and just the fact i’m kinda inexperienced in shit??? i just wanna be smooched before i turn 18 man

   91. Do you like your own name?

i mean??? i don’t like ‘tristen’ but i do like ‘tris’! which is why i go by it online and i try to get ppl to call me it. there was someone i know who was like “no one even calls you that” when i said something about being called “tris” to someone and i’m like… that’s because i never said anything about it before…??? no one calls me tris because i never really went by it before….???

but anyway “tristen” is fine but i will always prefer to be called “tris”

   93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

i’m gonna say i’d love to have a girl but honestly? i don’t really care? if i have a child or if i have children, i just want them to be happy and healthy and feel they can trust me with anything - or at least almost anything, since i never really had that person growing up.

   95. What are your weaknesses?

uh i’m not the strongest person when it comes to physical activities but that’s also because i’m a dumb egg who sucks when it comes to shit like dancing because i kinda throw myself down a hole when other ppl get things and i don’t and i get really self deprecating over shit

also self deprecation by itself is a pretty big weakness.

other than that, i’m kinda messy?? like my room itself is a mess and there’s clothes on the floor and i really just need to take a day and clean up

   97. Were your ancestors royalty?

not that i know of

   99. Color of your bedspread?

uh its too hot for one rn but i have a white one that my grandma bought for me and i use it when its cold af outside

i want this galaxy one that i found tho….

(I SPENT AN HOUR ANSWERING THIS BUT IT WAS FUN OMG…)

[blahrutocs]

i redesigned casey and now i kinda ship him w/ sal..... i’ve been Developing him a bit too and this is what ive come up w,

sal and casey would be a cute couple imo.... they'd probably butt heads at first, bc casey butts heads with Everyone at first by nature, and he's really argumentative naturally whereas sal is kind of Nervous around new people, but like... sal can find the good in anyone, which is somethin' i think casey would need, because he's not good at expressing the good in himself!!then they probably found some middle ground......... sal has a very calming presence, i think, he's a very Sweet person and people like being around him a lot........ but he'd definitely be someone who wouldn't judge him or say anything cruel, he always puts a lot of time and consideration into the people around him and i think that'd be something very good for my boy, cause then he could also just....Develop a good and nice friendship with sal!! they probably became real close real quick and it....confused everyone, i bet!! casey probably gets frustrated sal doesn't tend to Value himself as much as he should and doesn't really stand up for himself. i feel like casey is.....Very Open about finding Sal attractive but just not in front of sal, like he's casually just like "hey, how is that man single when he looks like a literal god, jw. askin for a friend" and everyone in the groups like..........hey man do u wanna date sal? kinda sounds like you wanna date sal,

Casey is secretive to No One, except for Sal...................whenever Sal is around he clams up! He ain't gonna say nothing gay in front of that boy (who he would totally smooch if he offered tbh) i picture casey being like, that one kid w/ no friends who watches anime and decides he's gonna learn japanese........

Casey draws Anime in his sketch book which he shows to no one except friends, and also hates being asked to draw someone because he thinks its totally uncool (he'd probably draw sal if he asked though) he's probably pretty good by now since.......Not havin friends gives you time to work on stuff!! I think he'd be interested in animation to some extent, too!! casey is also a photographer and has a degree in filmaking....I Imagine him RLY wanting to take pics of sal but being too shy to ask, also he puts timers so he doesn't like sal's selfies too quickly bc he Doesn't Want to Look TOO gay. he probably flirts with sal a bit but makes sure it's mild and sounds like a joke!! sal has.......No Idea, honestly, he's just like.....Totally clueless to it, I mostly picture sal as having........ Self esteem Resembling a rollercoaster and sometimes he'll be like "YES I AM GOOD AND PEOPLE LIKE ME" other times he's like "me? i am a garbage rat and i come from the sewers, my truest home," so has a hard time really Believing people like him, For Some Reason, casey probably lowkey wants to confess but doesn't know how, he's also probably mildly terrified he's gonna make sal uncomfortable bc he really values the friendship and.....Doesnt wanna Gay It Up if it's not needed,  i kind of think casey's probably had a few friendships that...........Didn't pan out, bc they found out he was gay and got very Weird about it, and he probably tries to......Not Replicate that, despite sal being Very considerate..... he singlehandedly organized a gsa in highschool and then also planned their Queer Prom almost Completely by himself...........  he's like, the last person in the world who would be unkind to casey about something like that!! 

  Casey is just a nervous boy who often worries about being Accepted, even by other Very Gay folks...........he's probably a lil nervous about like, intimacy and stuff. doesn't like being touched without being explictly asked.......

he had a casual relationship with riley but riley is.............Very chill, so i think it wouldn't be too unpleasant for him.............. casey probably doesn't like not being the one in control though!! it works out bc sal is kind of uncomfy w/ sex in general and demisexual......... he's not adverse to it but it does make hm nervous!!   

he animates sometimes in his freetime, i think, he has.......Lots of free time, lbr, his  parents are both like...... Doctors, so he doesn't worry that much about Money or anything! and tries to fill his spare time with...... Whatever, really, he pobably has a few weird skills he never talks about,

mitch was probably casey's first real friend... he and riley didn't know eachother very well by the time riley dropped out, but he and mitch both stayed and finished college, so they probably became pretty good friends!! mitch stayed in touch with riley, so by extension so did casey. otherwise casey probably would've been too insecure to put any effort into the connection.

he’s kind of typically “flamboyant.” snarky. will not take any shit. he’s a photographer, he has a degree in filmmaking and enjoys it a lot. very secretive, doesn’t really share any personal details with people. pretty judgemental. will comment on your outfit if he thinks it’s bad or like… straight up laugh at your opinion sometimes. he can win arguments but……Often Unintentionally hurts feelings doin so!!

he secretly likes people more than he lets on he’s just….Super bad at socializing because he’s like inherently argumentative and cant turn it off. he was also not a popular kid, he moved to a new town and was really chubby  and people were just… not nice to him. he was v self conscious ab it!! hes Very New to friendships!! his first real friend was when he was an adult already.  he’s got a lot of softness inside of him!! 

OTHER FACTS...........

*casey self harms, he’s not proud of it but doesn’t hide it either.......

*he’s been diagnosed w/ adhd and anxiety but...... Does Not Believe He has either of those things

*constantly on the defense

*doesn’t have a good relationship w/ his parents but..........Doesn’t really bother fighting w/ them, they’re not the nicest but he just.Gnuinely doesnt care anymore.

* he and sanchez dont have the best relationship,casey’s theory is its bc he used to be fwbs with riley and Was Not at all subtle about it but like…. when he first meets sanchez he comments how he thought he’d be taller, and then immediately follows it up with “Btw, i fucked your bf.”

i’ll add more to this later................. also if anyone read this whole thing what would be a good ship name for them cause i got,.......No clue