#honestly i should work on my website more one of my partners is like a complete html/css noob and their website looks better than mine...

[therealjendavis]

should i update my website to have a media recs/reviews section? i want to put more on my website i'm just boring. i could set up my music as a separate page too... not that there's much, but i could.

[ivoovu]

*cough*

Mic Tap

A PSA to all König/Krueger writers:

Hello, I‘m Voov, and I‘m a native German.

And let me just clarify that I do not mean any of this in a offensive matter, and that none of these things are 'annoying' or 'bothersome' to me as a German, which I‘m sure other Germans would agree with me. This isn‘t something that‘s making it impossible for us to read blurbs/fics/etc., however I do know that some writers want to write in foreign languages as accurately and realistically as possible, so this is for those. And for everyone else who‘s just interested, of course

🤍🍪

1 - What I often read is "Exemplary Sentence I can‘t think of something right now but it‘s in English, ja?"

We don’t end our sentences with "[…], ja?". Sometimes, yes, fair, sometimes we do so, but it’s on the rarer side in my opinion. Majority of the time we use this at the end of our sentences:

"[…], nicht?" = "[…], no?" (please don‘t use "[…], nein?" for this one)

or:

"[…], nh?" = honestly this one can be used for a lot of things, it can be used for "[…], no?", "[…], don‘t you think so?" or how the Brits use 'innit', like you‘re trying to prove a point.

(Translation for "[…], don‘t you think so?" = "[…], denkst du nicht auch so?")

I understand that when you type in a "[…], ja?" you‘re translating from the words' English equivalent which is "[…], yeah?", but again, it‘s more common to use "[…], nicht?" instead.

If you use a good mix of "[…], ja?", "[…], nicht?" and "[…], nh?" (and any other word you might want to add to the end of your sentence) instead of sticking to one throughout an entire fic, you‘ll make us Germans a bit happier.

🍙⌛️

2- If you‘re using longer sentences, and the sentences are directed at the Reader, you should clarify beforehand if the Reader is masc or fem. Why? Because a lot of words are gendered in German, so the way they’re conjugated tell us the Gender of the Person:

English: "My perfect Partner."

-> Gender neutral, the reader could be a Man, Woman, in between, on the outside, an Alien race, whatever

If you type this into google translate you get: "Mein perfekter Partner."

-> Masculine. It‘s an instant tell that the reader is a dude.

The female version would be: "Meine perfekte Partnerin."

-> Now we know instantly that this is feminine.

There is no gender neutral, German simply isn’t a language that works that way.

Can you write full sentences without using anything gendered, at all? Yes, absolutely, here‘s an example:

English: "Oh God I love you, I don‘t know what I would do without you. You‘re my everything, I‘ll do anything and everything for you."

German: "Oh Gott ich liebe dich, ich weiß nicht was ich ohne dich machen würde. Du bist mein ein und alles, ich würde alles für dich tun."

This is completely gender neutral because while typing I actively made sure to avoid using anything gendered. But I understand that this is a extremely difficult task to do so for those who don’t speak German, so if you can pull it off, you just earned my highest form of respect, but this isn’t something that us Germans expect of you as a Writer, this is just something I wanted to draw your attention to.

🐰🧳

My point is: If you do any of those two, we Germans aren’t crying about it. We won‘t stop reading the fic, we won‘t bitch about it or send you hate-mail.

We just notice it, correct the sentence in our mind, and some of us will type out the correct sentence as a comment.

I sadly don‘t have any websites that can help with the gendered words, and google translate sucks anyways, so I truly don‘t have any type of direction I could point you writers to, sorry :/

But I have said this before and I‘ll say it again, as many times as I have to: I am absolutely willing to help with the German parts, my dm‘s are always open, no I won’t think you’re annoying or abusing anything by asking me to check the German sentences you might‘ve used in your works, no I‘m not saying any of this out of courtesy, no I‘m not lying, no we don’t have to know each other, no you don’t have to deal with chit chat you can immediately hit me up with 'Hey how is this sentence?', yes I am being serious. In doubt, read this paragraph again and again.

🐚🪵

[linkhundr]

So NFTgate has now hit tumblr - I made a thread about it on my twitter, but I'll talk a bit more about it here as well in slightly more detail. It'll be a long one, sorry! Using my degree for something here. This is not intended to sway you in one way or the other - merely to inform so you can make your own decision and so that you aware of this because it will happen again, with many other artists you know.

Let's start at the basics: NFT stands for 'non fungible token', which you should read as 'passcode you can't replicate'. These codes are stored in blocks in what is essentially a huge ledger of records, all chained together - a blockchain. Blockchain is encoded in such a way that you can't edit one block without editing the whole chain, meaning that when the data is validated it comes back 'negative' if it has been tampered with. This makes it a really, really safe method of storing data, and managing access to said data. For example, verifying that a bank account belongs to the person that says that is their bank account.

For most people, the association with NFT's is bitcoin and Bored Ape, and that's honestly fair. The way that used to work - and why it was such a scam - is that you essentially purchased a receipt that said you owned digital space - not the digital space itself. That receipt was the NFT. So, in reality, you did not own any goods, that receipt had no legal grounds, and its value was completely made up and not based on anything. On top of that, these NFTs were purchased almost exclusively with cryptocurrency which at the time used a verifiation method called proof of work, which is terrible for the environment because it requires insane amounts of electricity and computing power to verify. The carbon footprint for NFTs and coins at this time was absolutely insane.

In short, Bored Apes were just a huge tech fad with the intention to make a huge profit regardless of the cost, which resulted in the large market crash late last year. NFTs in this form are without value.

However, NFTs are just tech by itself more than they are some company that uses them. NFTs do have real-life, useful applications, particularly in data storage and verification. Research is being done to see if we can use blockchain to safely store patient data, or use it for bank wire transfers of extremely large amounts. That's cool stuff!

So what exactly is Käärijä doing? Kä is not selling NFTs in the traditional way you might have become familiar with. In this use-case, the NFT is in essence a software key that gives you access to a digital space. For the raffle, the NFT was basically your ticket number. This is a very secure way of doing so, assuring individuality, but also that no one can replicate that code and win through a false method. You are paying for a legimate product - the NFT is your access to that product.

What about the environmental impact in this case? We've thankfully made leaps and bounds in advancing the tech to reduce the carbon footprint as well as general mitigations to avoid expanding it over time. One big thing is shifting from proof of work verification to proof of space or proof of stake verifications, both of which require much less power in order to work. It seems that Kollekt is partnered with Polygon, a company that offers blockchain technology with the intention to become climate positive as soon as possible. Numbers on their site are very promising, they appear to be using proof of stake verification, and all-around appear more interested in the tech than the profits it could offer.

But most importantly: Kollekt does not allow for purchases made with cryptocurrency, and that is the real pisser from an environmental perspective. Cryptocurrency purchases require the most active verification across systems in order to go through - this is what bitcoin mining is, essentially. The fact that this website does not use it means good things in terms of carbon footprint.

But why not use something like Patreon? I can't tell you. My guess is that Patreon is a monthly recurring service and they wanted something one-time. Kollekt is based in Helsinki, and word is that Mikke (who is running this) is friends with folks on the team. These are all contributing factors, I would assume, but that's entirely an assumption and you can't take for fact.

Is this a good thing/bad thing? That I also can't tell you - you have to decide that for yourself. It's not a scam, it's not crypto, just a service that sits on the blockchain. But it does have higher carbon output than a lot of other services do, and its exact nature is not publicly disclosed. This isn't intended to sway you to say one or the other, but merely to give you the proper understanding of what NFTs are as a whole and what they are in this particular case so you can make that decision for yourself.

[hillbillyoracle]

For those with home related New Years Resolutions:

I���ve been a disabled homemaker for 5 years now so I wanted to share the resources that have helped me take our home from complete chaos to reasonably functional and enjoyable.

If you’re not functioning...

If you’re constantly tripping over things and getting injured, eating food that makes you sick, dealing with pests in the home, and struggling to complete basic tasks like feeding, clothing, and bathing yourself, then you should start with...

KC Davis aka StruggleCare aka DomesticBlisters

TikTok

Book

Podcast

Website

I recommend KC Davis’s stuff with a big heaping dose of “keep what works and leave what doesn’t.” She’s one of the few people I’ve seen talking about compassionate care focused on maintaining a level of personal functioning rather than maintaining a home. Her stuff has been very helpful to me during some very challenging times. 

I think her some of her best work is probably her videos on the 5 step tidying process, the ones on setting up bedside hygiene and food kits, and the ones on dealing with DOOM (Didn’t Organize Only Moved) boxes. 

That being said she has a tendency to use neurotype as a shield for not reckoning with other dynamics in a situation (gendered, narcissism, etc) when asked for advice by viewers which can lead to this “all people with neurodivergence are good” vibe which I find off putting (especially as an autistic person). I mention it because her bleh stuff was all I was coming across and I missed out on her good stuff for a while. It’s worth picking through though. 

Her book is a little better on the whole. 

If you’re functioning but still very overwhelmed...

If you can complete your daily activities of living pretty regularly but you’re still losing papers you need, rebuying items you didn’t realize you had, or looking around your home at a mess that feels impossible to clean, then check out...

Dana K White aka A Slob Comes Clean

YouTube

Website

Podcast

Books

I love Dana K. White’s stuff. Honestly, I recommend her to every level on this list but I think she probably shines brightest in this category. 

Her 5 step decluttering process is pure fucking gold. It’s a decluttering process that doesn’t rely on feelings at all - really helpful for those with trauma or alexthymia generally. She has multiple videos explaining it and even more where you can watch her go step by step with someone over the course of an hour and make a huge dent in some very overwhelming mess. Its the process I’ve used to go through over 50 moving boxes to declutter so we could fit in this much smaller space we moved to in April. 

Her day to day cleaning advice is also excellent. Her concept of dishes math has really helped me make decisions about what chores to focus on when I’m low energy. Her 14 Days to Opening Your Front Door series is amazing if you’re having to host for a given occasion but your home is a wreck. 

If you’re not painfully overwhelmed by your stuff but there’s still a lot of friction in your home...

If your stuff doesn’t overwhelm you but your home still doesn’t feel that good to be in, you’re still not finding things when you need to or it’s taking you a long time to find them, you create homes for things but they look terrible or they never seem to stick, then you’d love...

Cassandra Aarssen aka Clutterbug

YouTube

Books

Website

Podcast

Clutterbug types were kind of a game changer for me. It’s what really opened my eyes to why the systems that worked for me did not work for my partner. She is a Bee - lots of small categories that are all very visible - and I am a ladybug - big bucket categories that aren’t visible. When I reorganized our space according to the compromise between our types, Butterfly - big categories and very visible - all of a sudden the systems just worked so much better. There were many fewer fights sparked by things not getting put away or not being able to find things. So I really recommend her videos on the different types and examples of each. 

Quick word of warning, she does have regular videos about diet and exercise that I personally find pretty triggering to my disordered eating habits so I’m not subscribed to her and just check her channels every now and then so it’s easier to skip over videos where that might be a topic she talks about. 

Cliff Tan aka Dear Modern

TikTok

YouTube

Website

Book

Cliff Tan’s work is the most recent of these resources that I’ve come across but holy shit I cannot recommend it enough. 

Because my parents didn’t originally intend on my partner using the room she wound up using, there’s simply not space to keep some of the furniture and items in there anywhere else. Meaning she just kind of has to keep a fair bit of junk in there. But after watching (read: binging) the Dear Modern YouTube channel and seeing him completely change spaces by moving furniture around, I redid my partners room over the course of about 2 hours and it’s a completely different room. Way more comfortable and she’s already mentioned she’s getting much better sleep. 

So I really really recommend his stuff. Sometimes what you really need isn’t new stuff but just rearranging what you already have. 

If you’re pretty content with your home but want to streamline the process of caring for it...

If your home is pretty functional but regular tidying, deep cleaning, and maintenance tasks specifically keep falling through the cracks, then you might like...

FlyLady System

Website

The Secret Slob - YouTube

Diane in Denmark - YouTube

There are lots of systems out there for house keeping but I’ve yet to try or see one that seems to do better than FlyLady for me. Since with my illness my energy varies wildly, I don’t necessarily do things when her system recommends but I do them according to the priority her system ascribes to them as I’m able. 

FlyLady is a notoriously convoluted website so I really recommend learning from a secondhand source. The Secret Slob and Diane in Denmark are my favorites. 

Maintenance Lists

This Old House

There a lots of maintenance lists out there and honestly finding one and doing what you can is better than nothing. I personally like the ones from This Old House because they’re broken up into annual, seasonal, monthly, and some weekly tasks - which are essentially priority categories, similar to FlyLady. I’ve linked the winter one here but there are many others to pick through depending on what you want to work on. 

Bonus: Paper Clutter

My System

Link

This is what I’ve arrived at after years of experimentation. It’s an amalgam of a few different ideas from different systems in one place. I keep mind on my fridge but put yours where ever you’re dumping paper anyways. If you’re in a room or live in a car/backpack - I have ideas on how to organize it for those in this post too. 

Sunday Basket

YouTube Video

The Minimal Mom’s Video

She’s in Her Apron Video

Need something a little more robust? The Sunday Basket is probably be best version of a paper (and other stuff) system I’ve seen. Got something that needs dealt with? Chuck it in the Sunday Basket. The creator also has videos on long term paper storage ideas if that’s something you need as well. But her videos usually run an hour long so I recommend starting with either the Minimal Mom’s video or She’s in Her Apron’s video. 

Bonus: Digital Clutter

PARA System/Building a Second Brain by Tiago Forte

YouTube Channel

Website

Book

Essential Video

The branding on this system can be very productivity tech wonk which is off putting to me but when I finally started hearing what was at the core of it and applying it - my digital life was changed. I’ve linked my absolute favorite video he’s done here. Ignore the bit about it being the last in the series, most of us are already using some note app and if you like it you can always go back and watch the rest. But just applying what’s in that video to your digital systems will make things easier to find. 

Hope this helps someone out there! 

[thelaurenshippen]

Hey Lauren! I've just finished writing my first novel, I'm also the writer/creator of the audio series Life & Death on the Rim (Star Wars fan audio drama), and I've started my own company Galactic North Productions. What I really want to understand is how other writers/creators who are successful and profitable got there. If there are any insights you can give me I'm all ears, whether that's associations, conventions, marketing, etc etc I just really want to learn. Very determined. Thank you!

hey!!! first off, HUGE congrats on finishing your first novel, that's an incredible feat and you should be unbelievably proud!!!! secondly, I hadn't heard of this podcast before but as a huge fan of both star wars and fan works, I am absolutely putting it on my tbl list right now!!!!

so. this is a great question. and a hard question. and one that I'm probably going to spend way too many words answering, if I know myself at all.

I think this question, in part, depends on what you consider successful and profitable! for me, it's meant being a jack of all trades - a lot of my work has come from being someone who knows how to make a podcast from soup to nuts and from being a person who a lot of people know. you've already done the hard thing: making something. that's your resume, now get the resume out there!

I wish I could give advice about marketing and finding an audience, but honestly it's changed so much since I started out that I hardly know how to find an audience anymore. but the basic approach always stands I think: don't promo, build community. be authentic and enthusiastic, and hang out in online spaces that you're already excited to be in. share your passion with people. clearly you already know how to do that, making a fan podcast!

in terms of getting to know your peers, I always recommend people join the WGA Audio Alliance discord to get to know who else is working in the space and hear about events. I did meet a lot of people at events early on, but unfortunately a lot of those things don't exist anymore (or were one-offs to begin with) or were smaller, invite-only things. if you're in NY, LA, Chicago, or London, there are vibrant AD scenes, so seek those out and go to (or organize!) a meet-up.

knowing your peers is the single most important thing for getting jobs. with the exception of one cold outreach, every job I've ever gotten has been because I met somebody and vibed with them. stay in touch but not too much - don't email your industry contacts all the time, but every 8-18 months, reach out to folks and do a catch up zoom or coffee. but don't network just to network! get to know people whose work you really like. getting to know peers at your same level is just as - if not more - important as networking to those who are further along in success than you.

be incredibly findable. having the facebook page, instagram, etc. is great, but if you're a production company hoping to make money through providing services like producing, directing, writing, etc. (which is primarily how I've made a living - I don't really make money directly from my original podcasts), having a website is a must. if you don't want to pay for squarespace or wix, you can make a website through tumblr and then just buy a url and have it redirect (I wrote about this a bit in my production guide). same deal if you want to be hired as a writer - having a website or some kind of resume is huge. I'm not saying you need to have an instagram detailing your personal life or anything (for me, I get personal about my thoughts on social media, but I never post my family/partner/non-industry friends/etc. some creators have had massive success building mystery (lemony snicket, the team behind midst), but I have no idea how to do that lol

this is already too long, so to summarize: build a community, both in your audience and your colleagues, be very clear and open about the skills you have/services you provide, and, ideally, do a lot of different things that put you in front of a lot of different audiences. try a lot of things and stick with what works.

to speak more on my personal journey, just briefly: 90% of being successful in the art and entertainment industry is luck. I know that people always say that, and it sucks as advice because it's not advice at all, but it is just true. luck and timing. the only way to improve your chances are to make stuff, meet people, and be easily accessible.

I know that's all exceptionally broad advice - if you'd like to share more specifics about your career goals, I'm happy to get more specific too!

[doberbutts]

Honestly it's so baffling to me when people on this website claim that Misandry isn't real or men are all privileged oppressors and etc.

Like... I've been on this website for MANY years and I see, on a daily basis:

Jokes about how all men are awful at sex, don't know where the clitoris is, don't know where women urinate from, etc.

Jokes about men having small penises, being gross smelly neckbeards, and other types of body shaming

Posts about how men are all evil, violent rapists or that they will assault or rape someone with no hesitation if given the chance

Posts about how men are pedophiles, groomers, etc. for being interested in children's media or cartoons

Posts making fun of men for having "childish" hobbies like building legos, playing video games, etc.

Posts listing off dangerous, creepy things men do and the entire list is just different symptoms/signs of mental illnesses or learning disabilities

Literal posts about how men should all be eliminated/killed

I could go on and on. I almost lost one of my male friends to suicide because he had severe depression and started hating himself because EVERYONE was constantly reblogging posts about how awful/dangerous/evil men were.

Men DO face problems due to their gender, especially POC, trans, MLM, etc. men. They have basically zero resources if they're victims of abuse/assault/rape and in some places aren't even legally recognized as rape victims, are seen as disposable and not in need of protection and forced to do dangerous jobs, not to mention police violence against male minorities.

It's just so upsetting. I just wish people would be nice to each other and I don't understand why people act this way. It's not a black-and-white issue of "This group is full of dangerous monsters who need to be eliminated, and this group is full of innocent poor abuse victims and there is no nuance at all".

I'm sorry for ranting in your inbox about this, it just upsets me so much.

And, the problem is, some of these things are well earned by men who refuse to do better.

An ex of mine admitted sometimes he had a hard time finding the clit on past encounters with others and funny enough when I was like "bro how it's RIGHT THERE" he was like "stfu yours is HUGE it's unmissable ok of course I could find yours it's the first thing I saw when you took off your clothes they're not usually that big" which is how I got the first hint that I'm intersex. And in fairness some people are just very small- a trans guy I know has occasionally struggled when in an encounter with someone pre-T or no-T and it's effectively microscopic because that's just how that person's body works.

But I've also known cis men who genuinely think girls pee out of their vaginas [again, in fairness, lack of sex ed due to conservative christian upbringing + cis men do in fact pee out of their sexual organ so it's not that big of a logical leap to make], who don't understand literally anything about menses [again, all emissions from a penis are more or less controllable + the concept of uncontrollable bleeding from a penis for a week straight would have most guys in the ER + lack of sex ed], "what size pussy you wear" type dudes [which, again, for all penis-equivilant things, knowing the size does matter]... as well as women who are unsatisfied by their partners' performances and yet refuse to tell them.

I'm not on tiktok but one crossed my dash of a black guy saying he had no idea that when girls put their hands on his abdomen while he's having sex with them, it's because he's hurting them and they're trying to push him away, because of the angle there's just no leverage to actually push. He thought it was encouragement to go harder. His current partner explained it and he immediately felt so terrible thinking back on all the times he's unknowingly hurt someone for his pleasure. Communication is a two-way street, how was this man supposed to improve if his partners are not communicating "when I do this I want you to stop because you're hurting me"?

Yes, some men are just allergic to giving their partners pleasure, and are inherently selfish in bed. But, also, I myself have hard lines I draw and I'm not willing to cross them even if my partner really wants me to. And some of these lines *are* acts that are very common to find in most bedrooms. Again, communication- is he actually allergic to eating pussy because he thinks vaginas are inherently disgusting outside of when his dick's inside one and he doesn't think girls can orgasm, or is he just incredibly turned off by that act but is more than willing to experiment in other ways to bring his partner pleasure? One of these guys is a pissbaby and the other is just a dude with a boundary.

Big sigh.

Now that I am around men, cis men, more often, I find that like in everything there's nuance and perspective.

[quickdeaths]

☢ What fads/trends are you so over?

❥ Has someone ever ruined an FC or character for you?

☀ What's your rp pet peeve?

☢ What fads/trends are you so over?

Gosh do I even know any trends, who is to say.

Colored text on dash. I know a lot of people are very taken with it, but differently colored dialogue between characters just reminds me of RPing on vBulletin forums in like 2007. I don't mind it on people's actual blogs, but something about it against the white space on the dashboard is just not aesthetically pleasing to me.

Group Promos/Those "RP Finder" blogs. Basically anything that clogs up the tumblr RP tags with people directing to discord groups or 1v1, for two reasons. One, I run a tight ship here and don't follow a bunch of people, so I use the tags to find new mutuals. Probably once or twice a month, minimum, I go trawling through various general and fandom rp tags to find partners, and those posts clutter up the search. Even worse, while you can block them so you don't see their posts, there's a problem with tumblr (functioning website that it is) where if a search returns too many blocked posts at the start, it'll just never load more, so I have to keep these blogs visible so I can get to the good stuff.

The other reason I dislike them is because they're just not a culture fit for what my idea of tumblr rp is. I don't like huge group RPs where there's an expectation on writing with people because you're in the same group, and I don't often like the RP culture of some other sites, or discord, where people often have existing plots they want you to write, or where OC/Canon "doubling" is expected. I don't like that being brought to tumblr, especially when it's taking up our tag functionality to funnel people off of the site anyway.

I don't know really what to call this one but I guess RP toxic positivity? I don't want to come down too hard on it, because I think everyone's hearts are in the right place, and I don't know if that's really the best term for it, but you know what I'm talking about if I describe it - those posts that are like "I don't care if you take a year to reply, real life is more important!" or "You don't owe anyone anything, your blog is your space!" or "RP is a hobby not a jobby, don't ever feel like you have to take is so seriously!" and things like that.

I think it's a good mindset to understand that writing on Tumblr is not the be-all, end-all of life, and to give yourself some grace about things, but I also think as a collaborative hobby, we do owe each other things. Investment, moderately quick replies when possible, putting in what we want to get out, etc. I think people should curate their space as they like, yes, but also be understanding of the fact that not everything works for everyone, and that's okay too, and people who want some amount of commitment or schedule aren't bad people, they just experience the hobby different.

❥ Has someone ever ruined an FC or character for you?

FCs, not really. Honestly, I don't use icons anymore most of the time, and I can never keep up with the rules around stuff, who "can" or "can't be" used, what's too popular, what's "stealing" someone else's FC. I do think it's funny when people make OCs that use like the most visible characters of the most visible series of the year or whatever, but honestly, I don't really mind either way.

Characters... not permanently, but maybe temporarily. If someone's portrayal really rubs me the wrong way - like, for example, a super comedic portrayal of a character that I connect with or relate to a lot and that I think has a lot of depth - I usually just don't engage with that portrayal long. What more sort of puts a character on ice for me, at least for some time, is when I've had a close interaction with someone, and for OOC reasons, there was a falling out.

In a couple of instances over my, like, 11? 12? years writing on this site, I've had a ship partner or someone who I was very close with, where we ended up falling out as friends for various reasons, and that does always put me in a complicated position. On the one hand, I love the characters they were writing for their existence in canon, but also a great deal of what those characters were to me was defined by the specific portrayals my friends were writing. It would feel weird to move on and pretend those portrayals hadn't meant something to me, even if the friendship was over, and I didn't feel good about finding a new person who wrote that character quickly. Even connecting with the character in the original media felt kind of tinted a certain way, so I put those characters on the shelf for a little while, until some feelings had faded and it felt good to go back to them, whether that was the original material or someone else's portrayal, instead of bittersweet and complicated.

☀ What's your rp pet peeve?

Already answered!

But I will give you a bonus one anyway that we're both very aware of hahaha. People who treat OCs/female muses/female OCs, and their writers, badly. There's a feeling that those characters need to prove that they're worthy of people caring about them, while whatever hot hunky anime guy is in the flavor of the month anime deserves attention just for existing (I am thinking of a Specific Anime Man but y'all will never guess who). Another frustrating wrinkle is that tons of people acknowledge this is a thing that exists, and will lament it as it affects their own characters, and then immediately ignore it when it comes to who they're interested in.

In my many travels, I've encountered people who will write female OCs and make long, sad posts about how no one gives female characters/OCs a chance, and then their own blog is entirely their character interacting with male canons, so in that sense, the little secondary pet peeve here is people who do not practice what they preach on this kinda thing. That will never be me I am an irl girlkisser and girlenjoyer, give me your girls, female muses to the front of the line my characters would like to be your characters' friends and/or rivals and/or deeply complicated emotional and romantic-coded friendship that ends in the most devastating friendship over breakup ever and then who knows

[ina-nis]

This is making me go a little insane again today because I'm always the oldest one in my groups and let me tell how people throw "predator" and "groomer" when your only crime is something you have no control over (your age). Yeah, I don't take that shit well at all.

I gave up on deeply connecting with people my age because there's almost not a single thing we have in common and it's hard with the whole queerness + disability + sober stuff. People are busy with jobs and families too so there's no place for me in their lives.

It's easier to connect with younger folks because of shared interests and literally being on a similar place in life (having not built much), many are not in long-term relationships or married, and definitely most do not have kids.

I hate this, I honestly do. I feel creepy and disgusted but beating myself up over something out of my control won't do anything to help so I don't do that anymore.

Do you seriously think I like being here, where the majority of the current userbase are super young, when I've been on this website for over 10 years? I really don't. I could never really connect deeply with people in real life, ever since I can remember, ever since internet and smartphones weren't really that accessible. At least now, I have a way to make connections, and keep these connection in my life, even if only virtually.

Don't even get me started on the whole "I'm lonely. I want a partner" because I'm really getting out of my comfort zone and coming onto any adults, regardless of their age - obviously, always younger than me...

I don't know... this shit fucking sucks and it's only going to get worse the older I get, I guess.

My therapist was excited about the possibility of me going back to school because "you'd be able to meet more people and make friends" but I already have a degree and all the relationships in these places (school, work, etc) are temporary: they exist as long as you're there. I gave up on trying to understand why, and it has a lot to do with people and their own priorities. You become a footnote in their lives, and they become one in yours too. The connections die.

So... am I willing to put myself in debt and emotional strain, for who knows how many years, so I'd, maybe, get my foot on the job market (again) and make friends (again), just to deal (again) with the crushing reality of being virtually unemployable and see connections I might spent a lot of energy and time building up, die? I'm not really sure if I want to do that again, or if I want to keep on doing that, to be honest.

It's funny because it went full circle: when I was younger and even as a child, I found it hard to connect with people my age (probably something to do with how you have to mature under duress to survive, and the whole childhood trauma thing, too); and now as a fully-grown adult, I achieved basically nothing people my age "ought" to: I don't have a career, I'm not in a relationship (never have been), I don't work because of my disabilities, I don't have a family or friends I can count on (so no social buffers or a safety system), I have built virtually nothing concrete, much like how when you're just starting your adult life!

As much as I understand the sentiment coming from people about how "it's not too late" and "you're not behind in life, you're where you're supposed to be", you'll still be labeled a predator for only having young friends and childish interests on the internet - and before anyone tells me to just "get off internet and go outside" do I need to explain again the matters of accessibility? Also "it's alright to not being able to work" until you have a invisible disability that makes it looks like you're actually just faking it, and so on.

I understand I'm one of those. I understand I have all these horrible "red flags" and that no one should ever be allowed near me, and I should never really approach any young person ever. The irony is that I don't like children and immaturity is a huge turn off for me so I'm stuck with a bunch of young inexperienced people. It sucks for me in a lot of different ways.

But I'll honestly take that over being around people my age who managed to build things and relationships over time. I don't need any more reminders of how much "lost" time I have to grieve...

I'm not naive, I know I still have time and I know I have built quite a lot of things. That's not the point I'm trying to make, and that's not what I have to grieve either. The matter of time is still a huge issue that is absolutely out of my control and I can only do so much with what I have.

[metalheadsforblacklivesmatter]

Hey, I'm messaging random people out of desperation, so please forgive me if this is annoying- my partner is looking for a remote job while studying for his CompTIA A+ cert, and hasn't been able to find anything. We've hit a wall as far as where to look (LinkedIn, Indeed, etc. are filled with scams and useless) and I'm reaching out to whoever I can think of/feel called to ask, to see if they have any ideas/directions to point us in. Thank you for your time, and I hope you have a good night

Shit this is really hard because I usually gotta ask follow up questions before giving specified advice.

But I'm a misogyny experiencing person in the tech fields. So I'll try.

First of all. Is your partner a person that experiences misogyny or a person of color? (I use "person that experiences misogyny because trans-men or enbies that are AFAB that don't medically transition can experience sexism in the field.)

Another trait I have that I say "gives me experience in the struggles of the field" is I've been unemployed for over a year twice. (Not by choice).

Gaps in your resume, anything in your resume that can indicate you're a person that experiences misogyny, or anything that can give away that you're a person of color will make it harder for your partner.

You can apply to large companies if you want, but don't get your hopes up. Large companies get thousands of applicants and rely on AI to filter resumes. Unfortunately AI is racist and sexist. Because it was trained by people with an unconscious bias. Small companies around 100 employees is literally how I keep finding my jobs.

Go to career fairs. My resume wasn't that great, but I knew I was smart enough to get the job if I could get them to just meet me. Which sucked because I never got an interview. One employer met me, and I guess I said something right because he put a big ole star on my resume and I was put on top of the applicants list.

Use Christian resources. "But fae. I'm not Christian." Yeah. It was really fucking weird for a long time to constantly be told like "I'm so glad we're if the same beliefs. This is a Christian company." But like... companies that want to keep is "in-house" so to speak will only send job descriptions to Christian resources. And honestly I've seen near no competition at these places for jobs.

I'm not saying lie or exaggerate on your resume. I'm saying floof on your resume. Instead of "developed the website". Maybe think "Hey. I realize I was the primary person working on the website, and the person everyone went to for help." BAM. Put "lead web developer" on the job description (not job title).

Look at the type of job the description is asking for. If they're a company that contracts their employees time. You want to focus your job description on how much time you saved and money you made fit the company. If they build products. You want to focus on your skill sets.

POST YOUR RESUME EVERYWHERE. Put it up on indeed. LinkedIn. Monster. Everywhere. Check the box that says you're looking for a job. Make it visible. Many companies don't want to go through the hiring process and will pay a contractor to do the work. Those jobs won't be posted. The contractor will be searching resumes on these sites and making calls.

Have a job already. It makes you look desirable to employers.

If you have gaps in your resume. Pencil it in. You weren't unemployed during that year you were studying for your certification.

Your resume should only be 1 page (longer if you have work experience but no more than 2 pages) and the first third of the first page should have the most important info. A quick blurb about you. Your skills/certifications. Your work experience. If you don't catch their attention by then, your resume will go on the trash.

I see a lot of people put irrelevant information on their resume. You don't want gaps in your resume but they don't need to know about that baby sitter job when you were 16. They don't need to know that you also made the coffee in that job as a web developer. Don't include information that you can't relate to the job.

It never worked out for me but a lot of people suggest using those sites that scan your resume against the job description and it's honestly worth a shot.

Don't let anyone throw a thesaurus at you when they offer to help with your resume. If you have people that help by thesaurusing your words, don't listen to them. Hiring managers and recruiters see through that shit.

It's honestly been a hot minute, so I'm probably forgetting stuff, but I do hope this helps!

-fae

[itwoodbeprefect]

belated writing emoji asks, if you still feel like answering

🤡🦅👀

(these look weirdly big for some reason, apologies!)

ooh, this looks like an interesting horror story. a GIANT clown is about to be attacked by a HUGE bird but unbeknownst to either of them... disembodied eyes (BIG ones)... are watching... 👀 (but bigger)

🤡 What’s a line, scene, or exchange you’ve written that made you laugh? & 🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

hee, you and @luredin had similar brainwaves it seems, because she also started with both of these in the same order! i answered them here, but i can come up with another example for the clown: in Johnny Lawrence vs. The Computer: A Tale of BOOP (a cobra kai fic) i was definitely cackling while writing some of johnny’s internal monologue around tech. he’s canonically awful with it to the point of parody (he's never owned a computer before! he's not a nerd!), which is obviously a great starting point, and this fic is essentially about johnny (briefly) drunkenly trying to catfish daniel and then getting mad about it, while he also just doesn’t understand how anything works:

The thing that makes the internet so great and also so much worse than the real world is that everything is really impersonal. You don’t hear people talk, you don’t see their faces, and you sure as hell can’t kick their ass through a wifi. So who’s gonna know if Johnny decides to play a prank on LaRusso and pretend he’s someone else? Who’s gonna figure out he’s not Jennifer Smith, a hot single mom with really great honkers who’s looking for a strong man to sell her a car?

Johnny types the email, sends it, laughs to himself about it for a bit (LaRusso is going to look so dumb if he thinks Johnny is actually a hot single mom with great honkers) and then wakes up hungover the next day and forgets all about it.

Until his computer goes BOOP.

There’s a fresh email in his internet.

there’s also a bit where he feels pretty smart for knowing that his email adress has a typo in it, because even he knows it’s email, not gmail - and a reference at the end to johnny having ongoing email exchanges with “half a dozen African princes with really naïve ideas of money management” (because there’s a scene in canon where he gives his information to all kinds of spam/conspiracy websites, iirc), which is of course a very obvious joke, but i just like the idea of that a lot. everyone’s wasting their time in those interactions, and they probably all deserve it.

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

well. for the starsky watches westerns fic i’ve recently been googling pretty cowboy hats, and it led to what’s probably going to be the first kiss scene! i keep changing the color of hutch’s hat though, so that’s yet to be decided.

also, yesterday i finally watched 1971’s zachariah, which was exciting because a) i learned i should have done that much earlier (not the painful warhol-esque experience i was dreading at all!!! honestly an almost perfect movie! and oh my god, that poster) and b) it (arguably together with blazing saddles, and maybe one or two others i still need to actually watch) throws a delicious spanner in the works for the central thesis of the fic so far, which was something like “if you’re a queercoded cowboy (in the movies), you’re probably going to end up dead (so what does that mean if i see us in them)” - and i’m sticking with that, but it’s great to be able to paint in more than one shade. (not only does zachariah not die, he gets a happy end! with his cowbff boyfriend buddy partner! after they start the movie by shOOTING A HOMOPHOBE. like i said, an almost perfect movie, and very exciting stuff to me.)

i also wrote some louise content (the guinea pig, i’m stubbornly keeping her as a part of this) that i could probably have used for the clown answer. while they’re watching red river:

“That’s a nice-looking gun you were about to use back there,” says Cherry Valance, and Starsky, his eyes newly opened, is left almost breathless from the impact.

“Don’t look,” he says, and cups a hand over Louise’s little face, because what’s happening on screen - those guys fondling each other’s guns, making them go off - it’s downright indecent.

send me emojis (if you want)!🌈  

[theinstagrahame]

I keep seeing ads for BetterHelp and similar podcast-sponsoring mental health services which have horror stories. Some of these ads talk about how hard it is to find a therapist, which made me wonder: Are y'all as confused about how to find one as I was?

I went searching for a new therapist a couple of years ago, and had no idea where to start, honestly. My doctor recommended the Psychology Today website, but beyond that: what do? Call all of them and hope we click? Dust off the phone book and point to a random page in the P section? Go down the list alphabetically until I find one that I like?

My partner lucked out and immediately clicked with the first person their PCP suggested. A lot of my friends described just going and seeing if it worked out--and that had been my process previously.

I didn't really want to try that again, so I went with a new process. Which I think worked out well? I'm happy with my therapist, and have been seeing them for... somewhere between a year and 2 years. But, as I don't think I'm that unique, figured I'd write down what I did in case it helped someone else:

(This is presented with a lot of caveats. I have insurance, so that was part of my process. I was looking mostly for like, talk therapy. Someone with a need for more specialized care may need to make some adaptations.)

Step 1: go to the Psychology Today website (recommended by my Doctor). At least in mid 2023, they have a "Find a Therapist" tool front and center of the page.

Step 2: Enter your geographical area. Then use the search filters to pare the list down to people who specialize in the stuff you want to talk about. You can also specify telehealth, and weed out anyone who's not taking new clients.

Step 3: Look at the profiles. Honestly, this part is mostly vibes. I noticed a lot of the photos of older therapists reminded me too much of my parents or friends of my parents. There were a lot of things I wouldn't feel comfortable talking to them about, so I looked for someone I could imagine as a friend. Several of them also had short self-marketing paragraphs on their profiles, which I also took into consideration.

I'm calling this part out as important. I wanted to scout out someone who I'd feel comfortable talking to. One or two I crossed off my list because their writing felt "too hippy" for my comfort level. Here, you should ask yourself what you want in a therapist. If you're looking for someone with that air of parentitude, absolutely go for it. Finding a good fit therapist is 100% about comfort, so check in with yourself here. (Optional: You can also look at reviews on some insurance websites and/or Google for additional insight into the therapist's work)

Step 4: Compile a list of therapists you're interested in contacting. I went with 2-3, but honestly, given the state of the United States Healthcare System, 5+ is maybe a safe bet. Because the next step is...

Step 5: Open your Health Insurance website, and use their "Find a Therapist" tool. Use a similar geographical radius as earlier.

Step 6: Cross-reference your list with your health insurance website. Nix any that aren't covered (unless you *really* want to meet with them and see if you can work something out).

Step 7: Contact your top 2-3 picks. When I did this, I got emails back from 2 of them, both of whom were currently full, but expected to have availability in a couple of months. I waited, and went with the first one who got back. I like my therapist a lot!

Step 8: Go for a few sessions. If they don't bring it up (mine did), ask about what to do if you don't feel like it's a good fit. They're professionals, and shouldn't take it personally. Talk early and often about whether you both feel like it's a good match.

Note: This is about as important as Step 3, because your Vibes can lead you astray, but 1000%, you need to feel comfortable with your therapist. If you don't, you're just wasting their time and your money. Plus, you have a List, so if it doesn't work out, you can just hit the next name.

Truth be told, this was a process that spanned a couple of weeks (plus the waiting for availability). Partially because getting help is scary, so I had to work myself up to some parts of it. Partially because some steps did require me to ask myself uncomfortable questions about what I was looking for, and I had to work myself up to those answers. I'm also pretty sure I have undiagnosed ADHD, so like, easy to lose focus on this. But, making incremental progress was super helpful, and I did eventually get to the end.

Bear in mind: your mileage may vary. Your insurance options may vary. I am not a doctor, lawyer, or expert in anything here. I'm just some guy, you know?

Take what parts of this feel right, ignore the ones that don't--or that don't apply.

[sonic-spirit]

BLUUURRRRGH, I really want to get into endurance riding! Like, the barrier of entry is still astronomically high, but also…closer than I’ve ever managed to get?

Like, riding my favorite breed of horse (because I’m basic like that, and Arabians are my jam) on super long trail rides through beautiful nature with mandatory vet checks to make sure everyone is still healthy and happy? The philosophy of “To finish is to win”? The slightly unhinged, beautifully mud-splattered feel of it all? HELLS YES, THIS IS EXACTLY MY JAM, YES PLEASE!

And like, it does also intersect with my Otherkinity. Cuz look. I’m Sonic the Hedgehog. I’m also a fuckin’ alicorn.

Also I think I’m also horse hearted? Cuz my alicorn self is far enough from equid that it isn’t, but close enough that it overlaps, too. I could also be horse therian too, instead of simply hearted, it honestly wasn’t something I thought to consider until recently. Cuz hey, that’s all encompassed by my alicorn self, right? Even though my unicorn culture maintained Very Strongly that they are not horses, and were cervine and elvey enough to make that stick? Yeah, shit gets hazy fast. (Chaos, when your parenthetical aside develops into its own full-on paragraph, am I right? Yeesh.)

But yeah, endurance riding. Or. Yanno. Endurance racing. Because it’s a race. 50-100 miles of it. Racing on horseback across rugged country. Mountain trails, vast plains, that fucking insane climb on Tevis. The idea of actually DOING those sorts of things makes me euphoric as hell. These? The things I’m actually supposed to be able to do? The running, the exploring, the nature? And all with a beloved partner I work with so well we practically operate as one!? Um. Yes. Yes please.

And like, yeah, of course I’d start with limited distance and competitive trail rides (where the goal is to finish within a safe window, neither too slow nor fast, and the winner is judged by the condition of the finishers, most fit to continue wins), and might even ultimately prefer them. But CHAOS, is that an experience I want to work towards.

Like, it’s hard for me to parse out, sometimes. Do I want it because I think I should have a goal or sport to pursue within this whole horse riding thing (because I do believe that past the basics, it does help to have a sport to help you grow and further your skills. Gain new experiences, keep learning, don’t stagnate). Do I just like the idea of it, and the reality I would hate? Did I pick it arbitrarily entirely because I like Arabians, and this is Their Sport? Does any of that actually detract from my motivation, or am I arbitrarily deciding that my desires are impure because of my puritanical upbringing?

Soooo, yeah. I’m going to gradually pursue this, even though it’s HUGE and dumb. Because that’s what I do. “Giant animation project reflecting my parallel life? Let’s gooo!” I’m doing some fresh research, and ran into the website of a local endurance riding group, so I’ll see about making a connection and learning more about getting started and the community and whatnot. I’m enacting my plan to pay off my debts and save for a horse. It’s still a loooong ways away, but it doesn’t look impossible. Oh! And I’m scheduled for physical therapy on my knees and ankles, which is relevant, because I do not enjoy the pain!

[madlencen]

Hi there :) Just wondering if you have a list of the muses you'd like to write and a rules page? I'm getting a reasonable idea from your posts, but I'm just checking before I assume ;)

Ohhh my first ask, I am excited!

Honestly, I didn't expect anyone to take that post seriously as I only made it half-jokingly. I am looking for more people to roleplay with but since I am so awkward and can't even make friends on this website, I doubted I would find anyone interested in roleplaying with me! Honestly, I am pretty open since I have a severe lack of creativity haha I like to work out plots, character constellations, relationships, etc. with the person, so that we can throw ideas at each other and see what we can do with whatever sticks. I think it also really depends on the person. Since I am forever in my Moon Knight era, I would prefer to roleplay that :)) Replies should be in third person ("she did this and that") and in the past tense. I try to post at least four Desktop Discord long lines, and expect the same from my rp partner in general. I have to say though that I, for one, am not a native English speaker so my grammar and word choice can be severely lacking, as I am also not an experienced writer. I am a sucker for angst and like to see the characters in our story suffer, but that doesn't mean I require angst 24/7, so don't worry haha I think that's all I can say in general, really just hit me up and we can work something out, see if the way we rp works out for each other ( because sometimes, it just doesn't work out and that's totally fine, there is no shame in that ) and see where it goes :D

[chaoticgeminate]

I'm not going to disparage anyone from buying online if its affordable to them, but as an Optician in a locally owned business these websites are destroying my field of work. So like, please maybe consider buying at least one pair from your locally owned place every now and again? I am a real person who works in the eyeglass industry, and I'm reminding you that I will be forced out of work in a field I have spent 11 years of my life working in.

When you buy online you go where to get them fitted? An eye doctor or a local optician, the very people that these websites are putting out of business. AKA me. So please consider buying local if you can afford to do so.

The problem with the eyeglass industry stems from an amalgamation of factors, but the second big problem is Essilor. Essilor was originally a lens manufacturer, if you have heard of Varilux or Eyezen or Crizal they're the ones who make those lenses and coatings.

Essilor merged with Luxottica , who is a frame manufacturer from Italy that owns most designer brands back in 2018. Brands like Ray-Ban, Coach, Armani, Oakley, etc. Which doesn't seem that bad until you look at what else they own.

EssilorLuxottica owns a lab called Nassau, which is one of the biggest supplier for stock (generic) lenses in the USA, and they also own Lenscrafters, the company that has eyeglass stores all over the USA. Luxottica purchased lenscrafters back in 1995 and Essilor got a hold of them through the merger.

So, you walk into any Lenscrafters and order a pair of glasses from any Lucottica owned brand and you're just handing them free money at that point.

But wait it gets worse.

They own Eyemed/Aetna.

A vision insurance.

EssilorLucottica manufactures lenses and frames, owns a retail chain, AND a whole vision insurance company. Do you see why it's such an issue now? They've created a model that other optical giants are trying to emulate, because walking into a Lenscrafters with Eyemed insurance is basically just a free sale for them.

And that isn't even the biggest issue in the vision industry.

It's vision insurance.

As stated above, one major insurance company is owned by a lens manufacturer , so that's really shitty. But, like all insurance companies, they don't want to pay out money for claims. When you file an Eyemed claim, you have to choose a lab, and it has to be an Essilor partner where this lab is basically owned by or pays boatloads of money to Essilor.

VSP is the same way. Doctors and labs have to be VSP partners to be allowed to accept the insurance, but the lenses have to come from a VSP authorized lab. So, most 'independent' labs are Essilor and VSP partners in order to stay in business.

But again, they don't want to pay the claims.

If I file an Eyemed claim, even using an Eyemed lab, there is a 70/30 chance it will be a negative amount and we have to pay THEM money for the 'privilege' of just taking the patient's order. And that's ordering the lenses uncut where we cut the blanks in our edging machine to fit them to the frame.

So someone comes in, spends however long choosing a frame (maybe with an optician's help) and pays anywhere from 0‐300 on their glasses out of pocket. We submit the order, usually pay them. So rent, electric, payroll... yea do you see what I'm getting at? That's why the price without insurance is so high, because we have to charge something so we can keep the staff employed and the lights on.

Optical is more in depth than just putting a pair of glasses on your face or contacts on your eye, there are eye diseases that need to be monitored and conditions that require specialized knowledge. Most young eyeglasses wearers are fine with just slapping on a pair of glasses, and honestly, I'm happy for you.

Truly, seeing should not be so expensive.

But please remember that everyone else is going to break before Essilor/Luxottica does.

where are those startups that are disrupting the glasses industry

[scumlafeccia]

Coming from someone who was truscum in the 2010's, I think you being gendercrit and also chest dysphoric is a sign of some major cognitive dissonance and self-hatred that you really should talk over with someone outside of this hellsite. Doesn't necessarily mean you're trans—how you label yourself is entirely up to you—but you clearly have a complicated relationship with gender that will not be improved here.

That being said, I've been binding for years and can say with confidence that binders are very much a personal preference thing, so your mileage may vary with these suggestions:

Underworks: My absolute go-to for years. Their tri-top binders are my tried-and-tested favorite, but I also own a compression T-shirt from them that also binds pretty well, and I've heard good things about their econo binders as well. Sizes also go up to 3X, which is nice. The fabric can take some getting used to, being about three degrees of separation from trampoline material, but the arm holes being on the wider side makes up for that in my book.

Phluid: Honestly not sure if they even sell these anymore. I found mine in the back of a Spencer's, and I haven't found it online at all beyond a few websites talking about Phluid partnering with Spencer's to sell binders. That being said, the binder I picked up from them is surprisingly comfortable and binds incredibly well, so they're worth a shot if you do find one. Be wary though: they absolutely go by Hot Topic sizing. The sizes go up to 2XL and they run small. I'm a large in Underworks sizing, but an XL in Phluid sizing.

gc2b: More of an anti-suggestion. I never really liked their binders, and I've heard they've been using lower-quality materials in recent years. For me personally, the arm holes always felt too small for my comfort, and the fabric on the tanks had a habit of bunching up throughout the day (though this was about eight odd years ago so who knows). That said, they're the most fat friendly option that I'm familiar with, running up to 5XL, and have a wider variety of colors and prints. You'd probably be able to wear some of their tank binders out in public and just have people assume you were wearing a normal tank top. They might work out better for you depending on your preferences and circumstances.

In terms of general advice and suggestions: pick up a fabric tape measure if you don't have one already and take your chest measurements. If you wear bras already (like, ones with cup sizes) you might be able to guesstimate your chest size, but it's better to have more precise measurements for binders. Always, always check the size charts of any binder company you shop from to be sure you're buying the right size and, when in doubt, pick the larger size rather than the smaller one.

If the binder fastens with a zipper or clasp system, avoid it. Best case scenario, you're just getting a very low quality product. Worst case scenario, the pressure is being distributed very unevenly due to a flawed design that prioritizes profit over safety and you could bust a rib. No matter what binder you end up getting, don't do any strenuous exercise in it, try to stick to around eight hours of usage per day maximum, and hand wash those suckers (or at the very least use the delicate and cold water settings on your machine washer) to prolong the effectiveness of the compression material.

I hope this helps. Best of luck out there.

anon, you misunderstood. I have kind of figured out why I am dysphoric, and it's got nothing to do with being trans, even from a truscum point of view. I'm not looking to figure out my "relationship with gender" on tumblr, but I know that there's other women on here who are dysphoric and don't plan to transition, and I dont think it's bad to confront experiences. as for the binder suggestions, I've been keeping updated on tips on how to buy one since I was 14, and I'm not american so I'd need to look elsewhere anyway. thanks for the thought tho, that's appreciated

[dystini]

⭐ 

I've finally got enough brain power to answer this. It's a good thing I'm typing and not speaking because my voice is shot from all the coughing.

I'm going to talk about two stories. Life is Full of Surprises and The Surprises Never End This is full of spoilers to go read them first if you haven't yet.

The first one is Rossi/Pato and I can't quite remember what gave me the idea to have an unexpected pregnancy but I know that the twist was supposed to be Rossi being the pregnant one and that fact being revealed at the end. I think most of us agree that Rossi tops so the implication that he bottomed for Pato subverts expectations and I love subverting expectations. But as I got to the end, my devious little brain thought of a better twist.

Let me tell you, the way I cackled like an evil witch when I thought of it...

So the story ends with a mix up and Rossi NOT being pregnant and the wedding being for nothing. Of course, if there was a mix up, that could only mean one thing... Alex Palou is pregnant. Two Alexes, you know, it happens. The surprised comments I got were the best and warmed my heart.

So, this meant I had to write Palou's story. The problem was that I didn't know who the father was. I was in my Marcus Armstrong/Palou feels at the time and I also adore pairing Dario with twinks but I couldn't decide between them. So I put the question to my usual partner in fic crimes and, of course, she tossed a third option at me. Which honestly, I should have expected because I knew she had a thing for Palou/Josef.

But it worked out in my favor. I couldn't reveal Josef as the father until the end so I could use both Marcus and Dario as smokescreens, being careful with my wording so that I never outright SAID either of them were the father. I hinted a bit during the story that it was Josef, trying to be subtle and probably being obvious. I can never judge that sort of thing. And I spent more time than I like with a calendar and baby development websites trying to nail down the timing of the reveal.

I'm pretty pleased with both these stories. I keep hoping more surprising plot twists in that universe come to me but no luck yet.