#honestly i don't have any excuses for this
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grapejuicenharry · 2 days ago
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Hello, how is your day going? I don't know if you are actually receiving requests, if not feel free to ignore this. What about you and Harry fighting in the car, maybe you're coming from a date and Harry was really late, the walk home is difficult with him and you start a fight, so she decides to get out of the car and walk home alone.
(English is not my first language so I apologize for any spelling errors that may have been made)
a/n: hello! My day is going well, thank u for asking. And yes, I do receive requests. No need to apologize—your english is great!
warnings: angst with a happy ending (sorry I couldn’t leave them like this!)
✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆ . ✶⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶. ⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶ ⋆.˚꩜ .ᐟ˙⋆✶
It was 9 p.m., and you had been sitting at this restaurant for the past hour, waiting for Harry. Tonight was supposed to be your date night—something planned since last week. You'd even reminded him this morning, but here you were, alone.
It had been Harry's idea to take you out, to spend time together, to simply enjoy each other's company after weeks of him being swamped with studio work.
When he'd suggested it, you were over the moon, practically giddy at the thought of a night just for the two of you. Just boyfriend and girlfriend. 
You'd dressed up for him in the sheer black dress he loves so much, paired with your black stilettos that accentuated your legs. Minimal make up, save for the bold red lips that added a sensual edge to your look. You’d spent over two hours getting ready, perfecting every detail for tonight. But once again, you sat... disappointed. 
He was late. not just ten or fifteen minutes, but a whole one hour. 
Tears started to gather up in your waterline as the waiter approached your table for the third time, politely asking if you were ready to order. You forced a tight smile, declining him once again, murmuring that you were waiting for your boyfriend. You couldn’t help but feel like the staff was probably laughing behind your back—this poor woman, sitting alone, waiting like a fool. 
Deep down, you knew it wasn’t an emergency or unavoidable crisis keeping Harry away. He’d used the same excuse too many times: Got busy at the studio, forgot to check my phone. Honestly, you were tired at this point of always coming second, but you know your pathetic heart will forgive him the second he starts blubbering out apologizes because you loved him—and you know he loved you, too. 
༘˚⋆𐙚。⋆𖦹.✧˚
You discretely wiped a stray tear that has rolled down your cheeks as the sound of commotion at the door caught your attention. Your eyes glanced to the entrance, and there he was—Harry, rushing inside, his eyes searching for her. 
The second he spotted you, he knew he’d fucked up. 
Harry strode over to your table, looking down at you with guilt written all over his face. His shoulders sagged as he spoke. 
“Y/N—fuck, I’m sorr—“ 
You stood up immediately, not wanting to hear a word from him. Grabbing your purse from the table, you turned around and walked away. Ignoring him.
Outside, the cold air hit you like a slap, your hair whipping against your face as tears spilled freely down your cold cheeks. You wrapped your coat tighter around yourself, desperate to hold it together. 
“Y/N, please—listen to me.” Harry pleads from behind her, his voice begging. He reached out to touch your arm, but you instinctively stepped back, putting more space between you. 
"Don't,” you muttered, wiping your tears. 
Harry froze, his hand hanging in the air for a second before dropping back. 
His heart breaks looking at your state, your mascara slightly smudged, your nose red because of crying, and your cheeks red with biting cold. You looked so vulnerable, and yet you wouldn’t let him near you. The realization crumbles him from inside. 
“I don’t want to hear anything; I want to go home. Just take me home or I’ll book a cab.” 
You whisper, sniffling, your voice hoarse and shaky. 
Harry’s throat tightened, but he nodded, silently stepping forward to open the car door for you. Without a word, you slid into the passenger seat. You fumbled with your seatbelt and stared outside the window. not glancing a look over him as he starts driving. 
༘˚⋆𐙚。⋆𖦹.✧˚
The drive home is suffocatingly silent. The air inside felt heavy with tension and unspoken words. The only sounds were the low murmur of the radio and the faint hum of the engine in the background. 
Harry's grip on the steering wheel was tight, his jaw clenched as he fought to keep his emotions in check. The tension was evident as his other hand rested idling on his thigh, occasionally rubbing at his jaw in frustration. He wanted so badly to reach for your hand, to rest his palm on your thigh as he'd done countless times before. But he didn't. He couldn't.
It must have been forty minutes or an hour of driving in silence when you spoke, not able to sit in the tension atmosphere anymore. “Are we not going to talk about this?” You snaps.
Harry exhales sharply through his nose, trying to gauge a response: “What do you want me to say, love?" I said I was sorry.” 
Y/N scoffs at his words, her frustration bubbling over. “That’s the problem, Harry. You think an apology fixes everything. It’s not about saying sorry—it’s about not doing it in the first place. You knew how important tonight was for me.” 
Harry’s knuckles turn white on the wheel. “I didn’t get time to check my phone. I was so caught up in the studio—“
“Right, the studio.” Y/N interrupts bitterly, “Always the studio. Always something important than me.” 
The words hang heavy in the air; Harry’s shoulders stiffen. His lips press into a thin line as he pulls the car over the side of the door, and tires crunching against the gravel.
“What are you doing?” You ask, heart pounding.
Harry throws his car into the park and turns to you, his green eyes stormy and dark. “I don’t know what you want from me; I’m doing the best I can.” His voice was low but sharp. 
Your throat tightening at his words, shaking head, “Well, maybe your best isn’t good enough.” You whispers, trying to keep your tears at bay.
His eyes flicker, a flash of vulnerability breaking through his frustration, but you can’t take it back now. The tension feels unbearable. Before you could think, You unbuckles your seatbelt and reaches for the door handle. 
“Where are you going?” Harry asks.
“Home.” Y/N bites out, stepping out of the car. The crisp air waves through your hair, goosebumps rising in your body. “I’ll walk.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” he mutters back before opening the side of his door and stepping outside. 
“Ridiculous?” You whirl around, glaring at him. “What’s ridiculous is me sitting there, pretending that I’m not hurt. Whats ridiculous is you acting like this doesn’t matter” 
Harry’s chest heaves as he looks at you, searching for the right thing to say, but it doesn’t come fast enough; you turn around and start walking, your heels clicking against the pavement. 
You hear Harry calling your name, but you don’t turn around, knowing there is nothing for him to say that would make you feel better—nothing. The chill of air whooshes past you as you hug yourself tighter, wrapping your arms around you, and quicken your steps. 
The sound of his boots crunching against the ground, crisp leaves crushing beneath him as he follows you, the sound growing closer and closer, then you hear him say softly. 
“Y/N, please..stop."
Against your better judgement, you stop. You stop in your tracks at his words and turn around. Harry jogs and comes closer to you; this time you let him... wanting to feel him close. His face morphs into something more painful than that clenched jaw like earlier. The lines of frustration are replaced by something softer, something that aches your chest. 
“I get it,” his voice low, laced with hurt. “You’re hurt. And you’re right, I shouldn’t have been late, and I shouldn’t have brushed it off like it didn’t matter. It did; you matter to me.” 
The sincerity in his words cracks your heart walls, the river of tears that you’ve been holding threatening to spill over.
"Harry, it's not just about tonight," you say, your voice trembling. "It's about feeling like I'm always coming second to everything else in your life."
His shoulders drop, and he steps closer, his green eyes fixed on yours. "You're not second, love," he says; the words sound like a plea. "You're the only thing that keeps me going half the time. And I know I've been worse at showing that, but I'll do better. I promise you, I will."
You blink at him, trying to brush away the tears. "You say that, but—"
Before you can finish, his hand gently takes yours. "Look at me," he says softly, and when you do, there's nothing but sincerity written all over his face.
"I'll prove it," he says. "Not just tonight, not just tomorrow—every day. I'll make time. For you. For us. You're the most important thing to me, Y/N. I swear it."
His words sink in, warming the cold that's settled deep in your chest. For a moment, neither of you speaks. 
Then, his thumb brushes over your knuckles, and you realize how much you missed the warmth of his touch; he gently touches them and kisses each of your fingers softly.
"Can I take you home now?" he asks tentatively, a small, hopeful smile tugging at his lips.
Y/N hesitated for a moment before nodding, the fight in you ebbing away.
"Okay," you whispered.
He lets out a relieved sigh and takes a step closer, wrapping his arms around you tightly. "Thank you," he murmurs into your hair. "I'll make it up to you, love. I promise."
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granny-griffin · 2 days ago
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1. There are a lot of people who think they're the only one who would speak up. Imagine what would happen if everyone who thought they were the only one... Spoke. But even if you do think you're alone... Why is antiracism not worth standing alone for?
I mean I think it is, and I’ve done it (or tried to). But I do tend to second guess my interpretation of a situation a lot more if I haven’t seen anybody else say something—maybe people sometimes aren’t sure if what they’re looking at is racist or not, and then decide not to do anything with that uncertainty because it would require thought.
2. There is a difference between feeding the trolls and speaking up when something wrong is happening. Do you feel people are more comfortable assuming the former so that they don't have to interact via the latter?
I think people are taught that the latter only exists in real life, and that if you try to do it in fandom you’re just yucking someone’s yum. People who do the second one generally receive the same kind of pushback as people who do the first one (even though they don’t deserve it).
3. Why do we think that bigotry will go away if it goes unaddressed? Is that how you also feel about bigotry that you experience via your other identities?
Because trolls go away when you don’t pay attention to them. But like you already said in question #2, those situations aren’t the same. People are drawing a false equivalence between the two. And as far as bigotry I experience in fandom—I think I just assume that it will be there and not go away no matter what, and I’m pleasantly surprised when that’s not the case. But that’s not really the point of this.
4. Why should we entertain and prioritize the annoyance of bigots? Why do you not deserve to be here and have a safe, comfortable space any more than they do?
I want to annoy bigots XD I love the excuse. Honestly not sure why more people don’t feel this way on tumblr, the website that’s all about being as annoying as you please.
At the same time, I want the annoyance to come because I’m giving them a message they don’t want to hear, not because I’m also being a jerk about it. Maybe it’s weird, but I care about bigots because they’re people, and their bigotry hurts them too, and I want them to listen to me long enough that they hear what I have to say and change what they’re doing. But even that isn’t a reason to try to keep from offending them—coddling somebody in their bigotry isn’t kind either.
I do think that people often don’t want to offend bigots who are good at creating fanworks, because they look up to them as a creative and/or don’t want to drive their skill away from the fandom. Yeah—the better you are at fanworks, the more you can get away with.
The second question is hitting me really strangely—yes, I think everybody deserves to have a comfortable space, and I want to defend that for others. I don’t know if I care to defend it for myself.
5. What do we plan on doing when Black fans lose their patience due to disillusionment? Are we okay with the outcome of that, of choosing... Well, being racist but safe? (Be honest with yourself!) Would we rather Black fans just accept that it's easier to assume everyone is antiblack, the same way it's easier not to speak up against it as a social norm? If we want to show that there is still a welcome for Black fans, that we are safe, why don't we act to show that?
I mean I plan to listen to them, even if I don’t like the way they’re presenting their frustrations—if somebody’s mad at me for something that I really did (or sat by and failed to stop) then it’s so not my job to critique their attitude.
I don’t think I’m okay with the outcome—that’s why I’ve spoke out in the past—but the parenthetical is psyching me out. Maybe I do ignore things out of fear! I’ll have to keep introspecting.
I don’t want Black fans to assume everyone is against them, and I don’t think other people want that either—but I think fixing the situation requires people to be proactive. I think a lot of people think that just not being antiblack is enough, and then don’t think about it any harder. And so nothing happens, because instead of looking to do something right, people are only trying not to do something wrong.
6. If everyone only hangs around people who aren't antiblack, why is the space still so overwhelmingly antiblack? Have you considered that you cannot adequately judge from within?
YES 100%!! I don’t think we can accurately judge from within! This is one of my biggest struggles—it goes back to my answer to #1. I want to speak out against racism, but even though I’m trying to educate myself so that I can spot it, sometimes I’m really not sure. And calling somebody racist feels like a really big accusation—if it lands publicly in the right way it could get somebody blocked by all their friends. I wouldn’t want to do it to mistakenly. So I’ve been trying to watch and see when Black people call out racism so that I can amplify/support what they’re already saying.
But maybe we need also to have a less all or nothing approach? If we aren’t sure if someone is being racist, we could start a more private conversation to tell them about our concerns, and see if their response sheds any light on the situation. Sometimes I ask people leading questions about their thought process when making something instead of just telling them to quit being racist.
Inevitably, no matter what I do, I worry that I’m not using the right level of forcefulness. But I guess sitting here and angsting about the appropriateness of my approach is still better than doing nothing.
7. No one really answered my "what is the boundary" question at all. What I should have asked is, are you willing to recognize that you have a willing tolerance for antiblackness? That there is a certain amount that you are okay with allowing before thinking it's worth speaking up?
Yes, and I think it’s tied to my struggle to judge situations. There’s a certain threshold of racism under which I can’t identify it with enough accuracy to feel comfortable making a callout. But again—maybe “public callout” and “do nothing” are not the only two possible responses.
Okay so after sitting on the responses from yesterday's question, I have some follow up questions to what seemed to be some consistent... Themes in the answers.
Like yesterday, I am asking with intent to listen (and maybe ask more questions) so I will not be arguing- at best, you'll get a "hm" to acknowledge i saw what you said.
My follow up questions:
1. There are a lot of people who think they're the only one who would speak up. Imagine what would happen if everyone who thought they were the only one... Spoke. But even if you do think you're alone... Why is antiracism not worth standing alone for?
2. There is a difference between feeding the trolls and speaking up when something wrong is happening. Do you feel people are more comfortable assuming the former so that they don't have to interact via the latter?
3. Why do we think that bigotry will go away if it goes unaddressed? Is that how you also feel about bigotry that you experience via your other identities?
4. Why should we entertain and prioritize the annoyance of bigots? Why do you not deserve to be here and have a safe, comfortable space any more than they do?
5. What do we plan on doing when Black fans lose their patience due to disillusionment? Are we okay with the outcome of that, of choosing... Well, being racist but safe? (Be honest with yourself!) Would we rather Black fans just accept that it's easier to assume everyone is antiblack, the same way it's easier not to speak up against it as a social norm? If we want to show that there is still a welcome for Black fans, that we are safe, why don't we act to show that?
6. If everyone only hangs around people who aren't antiblack, why is the space still so overwhelmingly antiblack? Have you considered that you cannot adequately judge from within?
7. No one really answered my "what is the boundary" question at all. What I should have asked is, are you willing to recognize that you have a willing tolerance for antiblackness? That there is a certain amount that you are okay with allowing before thinking it's worth speaking up?
*I also want to note that I'm not directing this to Black fans. I know that the context changes when you have to fight. I'm asking the people who have the privilege of fighting antiblackness while not having the identity. I.e. some marginal power in the area.
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spencahreadreid · 3 days ago
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and though the town was cold and wet.. S.R X R
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cute little snow fic with spencer!! fluff, gn reader, no y/n, no gender specifics. any issues, please comment or let me know, I'm open to requests and asks!
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Maybe it was the excitement, you and your heart of gold, easily entertained by everything. It could've been the fact that you wanted to continue shaping the ice into 'people', either way, you failed to notice the way your hands were beginning to change colour in the low temperature. Not to mention, your cheeks, nose, ears, knuckles, practically your whole body. Under your large coat and Spencer's scarf, you felt mostly warm between multiple layers he'd begged you to put on, which led you to think it was okay to stay out longer.
So when Spencer came back outside to see you'd rejected the gloves to make more 'intricate' details into your current art, he wasn't happy. To him it looked like an oval with holes in the same formation as a bowling ball, but you claimed it was his face. He noticed the rosewood pink shade your fingertips were turning and crossed his arms over his chest. Standing in the doorway with that gentle and loving but also very concerned expression on his face.
"You know, hypothermia can develop in little as five minutes. If you're not dressed properly, your scalp, hands, fingers and your face are usually the first parts of your body affected-" You stood there almost dumbfounded, the same chunk of round ice slowly melting in your palm, watching him talk with the backdoor half open.
"Oh.. cool?" You could honestly care less about hypothermia, it was almost like a big myth a parent would tell you about so you would come inside. Your eyes never left him, and vice versa, except he was taking in your small figure halfway up the garden. You were trembling a little due to the lack of layers on your lower half.
"The elderly and infants are especially vulnerable, but it can take under an hour for a person to actually freeze to death if the conditio-" you had cut him off by dropping your sculpture and letting it fall, breaking into pieces under you. A new horrified expression came over you, brows furrowing and eyes widening with pure terror.
"What?! You didn't think to tell me that before I came out here with no hat on?" You walked closer to the door, to where he was standing and placed a hand onto his arm, where his wooly jumper was rolled up. He immediately flinched and shivered, pulling his arm away which made your lips curl into a pout.
"You're freezing, honey.. I think we should get you warmed up, hm?" His voice was as tender and gentle as usual, but he felt that if you refused he'd definitely have to be more stern next time. Without even thinking, you nodded, he opened the door fully and let you in before making his way through to the living room to start a fire. He'd been out there with you before leaving to go inside for 'paperwork' (he honestly just got too cold but you let him lie). After stripping off your coat and his scarf, hooking them both up you went to go meet him, rubbing your palms together as you walked through and sat on the carpet by his side.
Wrapping his arm around your shoulder, he decided to ignore the fact your hair was slightly damp from your earlier activity of throwing snow around. Letting you rest close for a while with the excuse of 'sharing body heat'. Soon he decided that hot cocoa would be a good idea.
"Keep your fingers close together, don't get too close to the fire because your hands are in a state where you won't realise it if they get too hot.." he stood up mid sentence and then continued, getting louder as he travelled further and then made it to the kitchen. "You can borrow a pair of my socks I left on the washed pile, they'll help you get warmer faster!"
You shouted back a thanks in response, slipping on the wool socks he'd conveniently left out. You knew deep down he'd left them there for you on purpose, but sometimes you got fussy when he cared too much. Almost like a child being told they need to eat all their veggies to be healthy, if anything like that came out of Spencer's mouth your face would scrunch into a playful scowl. You secretly loved it though, which is what made things better when your loving boyfriend returned with two cups of hot chocolate, both of them extra sweet.
"Warm fluid can help your body warm up, but only for a short amount of time. The temperature change would only be around 2.5 degrees and will only last for around twenty minutes, after that your body will return to the same temperature as before the drink."
The way he wouldn't stop just continuously info-dumping made you smile, he had a fact for everything, but by now it was more endearing than anything. You thanked him for the knowledge and gave him a kiss on the cheek, sending him into a blush, the same kind of pink yours had earlier.
"Are you feeling cold?" Drawing out the word 'cold' you smiled teasingly at him. He shook his head and paid you back with a simple kiss on the cheek.
"Humans blush because of adrenaline release, when you're embarrassed feeling a strong emotion, the blood vessels in your face dilate. It's controlled by the autonomic nervous system and it's an involuntary response."
Another snicker left you and the face he gave you almost read 'whats so funny?' it made you laugh a little more until he finally caught a case of the giggles alongside your own.
"So you blushed because the strong emotion was.. love?" You questioned while brushing up close to his side, voice teasing and almost sing-song.
"You could say that, yeah.."
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rocksibblingsau · 3 days ago
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The TBT got me thinking about the movie's writing again, so here's some thoughts. Clay being the only one to get an on-screen apologize doesn't make any sense narrative wise.
When you look exclusively at what's implicitly canon (so no 'he was at the tree that whole time' headcanons, even if they make some sense), Clay is the least in need of apologizing compared to the other three. Bruce is slightly more in need of apologizing than him because he was the second eldest and second to leave, but this point is not about him, it's about how it should have been either JD or Floyd (ideally it would be all of them apologizing actually, but again, not about that rn)
John Dory is practically the main force behind the movie's plot and emotional conflict, so we're talking about him first. John Dory in the movies, well, he kinda sucks a lot of ass. During the Brozone days, he was very bossy, overbearing, lowkey emotional/verbally abusive and the first to leave them all while being the oldest and implied to be their only caretaker outside of their elderly grandma. And even though some people give Clay and Bruce shit for how they behaved towards JD during the Rhonda fight scene, they were RIGHT, he was being bossy and a dick during that scene, and while all the bros were at fault about how they treated Branch during it, he was also the worst of them (like he was the only one who not only denied they would stay together after saving Floyd, but also actually made fun of Branch for even thinking so). And that is without mentioning how he got the the three of them trapped later in the film in the stupidest way possible.
This is NOT to say that he is some kinda of unredeemable abusive monster, no, even if its not said out loud in the movie, its left pretty implicit that he had his reasons for acting the way he did and that he was under a lot of stress himself running the band and caring for his 4 younger brothers while likely being a kid himself during the Brozone days. BUT, after all that, it feels so strange to have the time for one singular apologize apparently and to not give it to HIM of all people. He giving Branch the lead during the Family Harmony is the only thing he does that implies he changed his way after ALL of that, even Venner gets more redeemable qualities than that!
It just makes his storyline feel incomplete honestly, like the movie only bothers to drop slight hints that this man doesn't completely suck and then turns around and both doesn't build up further on those hints AND doesn't make him do anything to redeem himself with Branch and any of his other brothers.
And if for whatever reason it wasn't going to be John, why not Floyd??? I don't even care that much that we don't get a reason for why Floyd never went back, its kinda even implied that he never intended to come back and was just trying to comfort Branch by lying, but again, if you're going to set aside time for one-on-one apologizes after everything is set and done, why not use it for tying up one of the main story points set in the begging of the movie.
Is like they even forgot that they set up Floyd promising to come back and never doing so, because as far as I remember (could be wrong tho), after the introduction, Branch only refers to Floyd as "the only one who said goodbye". With for Branch's character makes sense really, but for the narrative feels plain unsatisfactory. It sets time aside to set up out loud that something was supposed to happen and it never did (crucially affecting the trajectory of the main character's life) and it just... never brought up again. No excuse, no Im sorry for that actually, no anything. Instead we get Clay, which in the movie, has no special relationship or plotline with Branch compared to the rest whatsoever, being the one that gets to have on-screen closure. Why?????
In conclusion, the movie could have an 100% better script and tighter emotional conclusion if they had just let the writers have two even ONE extra rewrites. But not, instead we get two plotlines that likely will never get resolved because got forbid this franchise actually has a proper continuity between films yippeeeeee
(Im truly sorry for this ramble, I just have too many thoughts and too little friends that even know what Trolls are, and by too little I do mean actual zero. Hope you enjoyed it at least, if not, Im sorry again)
I agree that Clay was the one Troll who had a good reason he never got to go back and visit or anything. It was definitely weird that he was the only one who apologized for never getting to see Branch grow up, but I think it says a lot about his character that he did.
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unavailableapple · 1 day ago
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Excuse me for coming to your askbox, I am not a radfem and don't agree with a lot of it's principles, yet I find radfem spaces are the only place where discussion of nonbinary identity has any nuance. Personally I have no problem with people doing whatever they want with their own bodies/minds/labels but I did struggle to wrap my head around just how many people started IDing as nonbinary during the last few years. Now recently it's been a bit of the opposite, with a noticeable amount of previously out and proud nonbinary people dropping the label. I've heard some people discuss it like it was just "in fashion" for a while, while others insist it's a result of gender experimentation or having to go back in the closet due to the political climate. But it's not just the young, I noticed that includes some of the first nb people I knew, who were nonbinary before 2020, hell, before 2015. I know you had a similar experience, so I just wanted to hear your opinion on this whole phenomenon, why it's happening and why now, and if you expect the trend to continue?
So I’ve been thinking about this a lot and honestly the short answer is: I’m not sure.
The long answer:
I think that these things come in waves. Think about BBL surgery (Brazilian butt-lift surgery). When that surgery was really popular, I’m sure it felt like a very real need to the women who got it. Similarly, my nonbinary identity felt very real to me. But once you apply any amount of pressure to either of these, they start to break. Because really what does it mean to be nonbinary? Why do I NEED to express myself as nonbinary? Why does she NEED to have a large posterior? Eventually you realize, it is misogyny. That’s all it is. And then the whole thing falls apart…Aside from that, even if you don’t acknowledge the misogyny, these things are ultimately superficial and, as such, fall away once one reaches a certain point of adulthood.
I don’t mean adulthood as in becoming an adult human I mean adulthood as in a certain level of struggle that makes fanciful discussions of pronouns seem taxing. Eventually real life catches up and you don’t feel like wasting your precious free time thinking about whether you use they, she, he, or meow pronouns. I think the lasting effects of COVID have meant terrible things for the general public and a lot of people are struggling to pay rent or afford food. I know that what first made me stop caring about pronouns was when I was homeless and thought a lot more about finding a safe place to sleep than making sure everyone calls me he/meow/it pronouns.
Then I think there’s the climate of the trans community right now. When I was younger, there was an idea of, “Being trans is equally hard for males AND females”. But now the dominant narrative seems to be that trans identified males have it a thousand times harder being trans and trans identified females face no oppression at all. I do think this drives more trans identified females out of trans spaces and leads them to find more community with other women. This was the case for several of my friends. Once the trans community told them, “You don’t face any oppression” even though they did (by right of being female), they stopped feeling aligned with a nonbinary identity and suddenly realized they felt more aligned with being female, on the basis of shared experiences.
Finally, it could genuinely just be that it’s falling out of fashion. I’m of an era where I, like a lot of young women my age, was the froggy jumper round glasses meow/it pronoun using boyflux aligned aroace nonbinary person and that was in style. Nowadays kids on TikTok make fun of that and it’s much less “in”. Recently Mitski cut her hair short and people started calling her “theyfab”. For the uninitiated, theyfab is a rude term the trans community uses for a female person who identifies as nonbinary, especially if she doesn’t do anything to express this nonbinary identity beyond cutting her hair. They were not trying to “affirm” Mitski, they were making fun of her for being a gender nonconforming woman, and they were making fun of the women who identify as nonbinary. No matter what, it’s always “in” to make fun of women so if a lot of women are identifying as nonbinary, it’s going to be “in” to make fun of them and it is. On pinterest, Nonbinary identities are already being relegated to “2010s nostalgia” the way moustache tattoos on pointer fingers are “2000s nostalgia”, these things come and go.
So yeah, I ultimately don’t know, and these are only a couple among my many many MANY different theories. But based on my own experience and the experiences of people I know, this is what I’ve been thinking.
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atangledfate · 3 days ago
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Honestly? Listening to Surge's plan it wasn't as awful as she made it out to be. her intent was to give herself up no matter what right? So if that was the plan, one last hurrah wasn't awful if he was being pragmatic. Did he like it? No, of course not! He hated the idea of her giving up her freedom to anyone! But she was pretty set on it and if it allowed them plausible deniability then it was a way forward. Even if he was sure it was also an excuse for her to have one last shot at him. She was as eager to throw hands with him as he was to throw hands with her... weird how that worked wasnt it? As for the soldiers they weren't sure what to think. Most of them didn't look ready for a real fight with GUN.
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" You are right i don't like it, but... If we had no choice i guess it's a good plan. I just don't know if GUN will buy it or worse try and take us both out... "
He sighed and gripped his wrist rubbing it as if it was sore
" I still think this is a whacked out idea, you giving yourself up and all... Belle will agree with me i'm sure! Giving yourself up to GUN no matter the good intentions is bound to be bad for you... i know you are dead set on this--- but i wanna say it one last time! there has to be a better way..."
Surge wouldn't even get a chance to respond before Lanolin came over the intercom. Calling Sonic, and the others back to the Command center. Which had sonic looking up at a nearby speaker. This was either Lanolin having a killer idea, or bad news for everyone. Sonic was leaning toward bad news... he just felt it in his gut.
" Looks like we might not get a say either way... you need a lift Belle? i bet she'd want you there to..."
He'd hold his hand out to Belle offering to take her to the command center with him. Either way it seemed like this was the end game, either they pulled out victory or GUN Won and restoration came crashing down.
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Miles tried to ignore how displeased Kit was with calling him his friend. That said he didn't intend to stop calling him that, he wanted to be Kit's friend. But seemed like no matter what he did they'd always be enemies. Chaos was he pulling a Sonic on this one? He didn't want to think about it. But Kit was right about seeing through the holograms but the idea was just to buy them time to form a counter offensive.
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" You aren't wrong a sharp eye can see through them, but its meant more to just make the enemy pause. This is a deterrent after all not a means of attack. "
He tapped his chin and slowly looked up to the roof
" As for water... if things do get dicey we can set off the sprinklers. That should flood the room with water and give you enough offense to push back any attack. Heh you ever thought about hydroscopic water filtration for your pack? is always water in the air, you could probably pull water in that way, slowly refilling your pack over time. "
The head Nurse only smiled at the two seeing the tension and fidgeting with her Wispeon. She let the two speak before placing a hand on her hip and speaking up with a cheerful tone!
" Why holograms? I can alwaos duplicate more of myself! i can do around 200 at max... though that's stressing myself a bit. The more i create the less intelligent the copies become. but if you just need me to stand around and look intimidating... we can do that! Though i'd prefer not getting myself killed as it were--- i kind of remember when that happens... its not pleasant. "
She squeaked as if remembering several moments her copies died, and she had to deal with the consequences. Miles figured anything the copy experienced she also experienced. So they were probably a sort of hive mind, the more copies there were, the more connections she made the more of her was spread out among the copies. So this was how Altiss kept his base safe--- his nurse was a real power house when you thought about it from a numbers game. Though clearly she was acting brave, and probably not a good fighter.
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" Neat... i gotta say that's a killer gift... but let's not put you in more danger then your in. Plus, you have patients to care for to... let's just stick to holograms... unless we need the extra firepower. "
Miles stopped as the intercom went live, and Lanolins message went out calling all of them to the command center. He gave Kit a glance wondering what changed but, guessed they should grab the belle bot and head to the command center. though he hoped Dawn and the others would be ok till they returned.
" Guess Lanolin is up to something... might as well put our plans on hold for now... "
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"They can have all their fucking plans all they want, though it don't mean shit if I can speed blitz all there ass with my Speed of Lightning. If that happens you can play hero and 'stop' me, though that's only if we they start shit. I know you'll complain, though wouldn't hurt to put you in GUNs good graces while also hurting the numbers they got here, right?" Surge seemed to be actually thinking this out for once.
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"Hey, don't go doing anything dumb either. I mean, at this point you've displayed a lot of your powers already, and who's to say they don't have counter measures. I know you have some sort of secret ability, though that's not certain to work." Belle had limited data on Surge, though hoped she could at least talk them out of doing anything dangerous.
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"I ain't going to kill anyone, or even hurt them that bad. Mainly fuck up all their weapons and shit. This is a chance to play mind game with these fuckers right back, and who better than someone who's already a criminal. They think they have everything figured out, I'll prove them fucking wrong." Despite saying this Surge was sure Sonic would throw a fit and refuse.
"What do you lot think?" Surge asked, turning to all the soldiers. "I know you don't really like me, and there are reasons for that, though I saw we use it to put pressure on GUN. It'd look even fucking worse if they arrest Sonic after he saved their own soldiers, right? Maybe even win a few over." A low blow trying to turn the soldiers one her side.
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"Then the only draw back to using holograms is a tech specialist with a trained eye seeing through it as I doubt either of use could make a picture perfect hologram. We'll have to hope we have luck on our side and they aren't able to see through them." Kitsunami himself could see through a hologram rather easily so couldn't doubt an agency like GUN wouldn't have someone on that level as well.
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"I'm NOT his friend." Kitsunami didn't seem too pleased about Miles calling him his friend, though wasn't going to gripe about it. The fennec was fine with letting the vulpine handle the talking while he observed all the defense's mentioned and begin to think of a plan to execute the false defenses. Already he had one.
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"Then the most logical course of action is make hologram of the turrets seeing as the nurse's are real and armed. Make them think we have more firepower than we actually do. If they do attack also barricading the blast doors as well will add even more defense." Kitsunami was sure with all that then this would be one of the safer places in The Restoration.
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"That said, I only have a limited supply of water in my hydro pack so I'd have to worry about conservation. If anyone is available I could do with people starting to gather as much water as possible and bring it here. This way I can be far more effective in battle and do wider rangers of attack and damage." Kitsunami wouldn't be surprised if they went on the attack they'd come in with heavy force.
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willowser · 7 months ago
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just to make sure we are all on the same page in this corner of the internet, i want to be explicitly clear about my stance/feelings on some things:
if i come across "content"/fic in this niche that i absolutely do not like, do not vibe with, am not interested in, that icks me out completely and totally—i scroll past it as quickly as i can and i move on with my day.
in the case that it's "content"/fic that really bothers or triggers me in any way, i make sure that i have blacklisted/blocked certain tags and keywords so that in the future i may not come across those things again.
i also understand that there is a variety of tags used throughout the internet and that websites are not perfect/things slip through the cracks. people are also human, and mistakes are also made.
in the event i am exposed to something that i do not want to see, point blank, i would never and will never believe it is my right to harass and terrorize the person writing said thing/s, and if i witness this kind of behavior being celebrated among the people around me, whoever you are, i will be removing you from my space.
to be perfectly and abundantly clear: i will always be a supporter of dark content, and its right to be written. even if i don't understand it, even if it "disgusts" me, even if i never want to read it.
please understand that i do not say this with hostility, nor do i mean it as a threat or to be confrontational. you should protect the space that you are in; this is me doing that, this is me making sure that you do that, even if it's against me.
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thatonegayship · 1 year ago
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I loved the cowboy comic so much that I wrote a oneshot for it. https://archiveofourown.org/works/50934235 🥺 your art is BEYOND amazing, ty for the food
INCREDIBLE!!!!!
#billdip#I honestly loved this story start to finish with the ambience and quick pace#hadn't considered the possibility of Bill and Dipper actually working *together* but it's always a good time when they do ❤️#sorry it took so long to reblog 🥲#I read it like- Right when you posted. But I had to catch a plane and then drive an extra hour home and immediately get on zoom for class#and today i was just all around exhausted so i slept roughly 70% of the entire day dndsjdndnd#all that to say that I had your fic in the back of my mind and I very much wanted to set some time aside and re-read it when I got the chan#honestly with how well you set things up I would've loved to see your own rendition of their first kiss#You established their relationship really well at the start and brought them together by the end after outsmsrtong those bandits#it feels like you have a better understanding of who they are to each other than even i do 😌 very much a fan#i love when stories incorporate those sort of 'habits' that the love interests fall into#that confuses character A while character B is so clearly using it as an excuse to get close and spend more time with them#i squealed like a maniac when Bill was like oooph lemme walk you home 😏🤠#sir i am going to wrangle you up if you don't compose yourself#and Dipper's just wary of him because people as handsome as bill used to pick on him 😢#little does he know he's grown into a 10/10 cutie patootie that any cowboy would be stupid NOT to smooch#I'm a simple man. I read oblivious low-confidence cowboy being pursued by a hottie on a horse. I lose my shit#Awesome wonderful writing!!! so happy to have caught your eye and i hope to continue pumping out content for this wonderfully weird ship
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if dorian didn't show up, do you think louis would have shot minnie?
I do. I know some people think either he wouldn't have or he would've missed so that's why the writers had him shoot Dorian instead, but mmmmmm no, I don't personally think so. I like to think that if he had taken the shot, his shaky hands would've caused him to shoot her fatally.
Mostly because I'm already so normal about the fact that of the Ericson crew, Marlon and Louis are the only ones with a body count. Well, that we know of, but shown to us in the game, at least. Plus, we know it's Louis' first kill.
Like yeah, Clementine and AJ become part of the crew and they have bigger body counts, and if we're counting indirect kills caused by actions, then Tenn has a count... and I guess everyone has blood on their hands for blowing up the boat... but I'm talking about killed directly with a weapon like....... I lied, I'm not normal about that at all, Louis and Marlon are the ones who have killed someone in Louis' route. I'm also not normal about the fact that Louis kills Dorian and then even as he's clearly in shock, he tries to go with Clementine to get AJ, and then later on when they talk about it, he says it feels like bile but not quite and he's glad he has it in him to do it.... listen, listen, listen... I'm obsessed with that.
Anyway, so if Louis shot Minerva, I think he would've accidentally killed her and can you imagine? He's already enough of a mess after killing the woman who pinned him down and tried to cut his finger off [or succeeded] but he knew Minerva, they were friends before the twins were taken. Even Violet couldn't kill her even though that would've been the smarter thing to do, and we know thanks to meta knowledge that killing her would've saved lives, but Violet couldn't, and I don't think Louis would intentionally either.
Speaking of Violet, if Louis killed Minerva, I hate to think about what that would've done to Vi. I think she might've actually left at that point, like what was planned before it got changed to her being burned. I don't think she would've attacked Louis over it, though, like yeah she attacked Clementine in the cell but Louis? I don't know, but I don't think so just because it's Louis and he'd be a mess about it anyway.
Though if he did kill her, it would be a neat parallel to draw... y'know, because Louis forgave AJ for killing Marlon even though he was pissed and heartbroken, and Violet was annoyed with him the entire time... but could she ever forgive Louis for killing Minerva? Y'know? We already have a similar parallel with AJ shooting Tenn, but still.
If Clementine killed Minerva in that moment, though, then I could see Violet attacking her since in her eyes, Clem proved her right.
So yeah, I get why they added the Dorian kill to his route. It adds another compelling element to Louis as a character, but we also need Minerva alive for episode 4; Louis can't kill her, he can't miss, and he's not going to stay with her because we need Violet to stay on the boat and him to be on shore for all routes.
#asks#twdg louis#twdg minerva#twdg clementine#twdg violet#twdg marlon#twdg tenn#honestly whenever i see someone say louis is the boring option i'm just like '.......that's your opinion but also how can you say that??'#then again i'm sure other people look at me saying violentine just isn't for me and they say the same thing so y'know... i can't talk haha#also time is such a weird thing because i look at the entire cell scene in louis' route and like... i'm not even mad about violet anymore#like yeah i still don't believe she was brainwashed like i'm sorry y'all only believe that because kent said something about it#not because there's all this evidence toward it in game like vi being pissed at clementine makes sense she doesn't need to be brainwashed#for it to work like her being vulnerable and easily manipulated into submission makes perfect sense especially with minerva there#it's like everyone was pissed that she attacked clementine and people needed a way to excuse it so it's not violet's fault when like...#that's literally what makes it interesting like calm down it's okay if violet is pissed and scared and behaves accordingly#also my controversial opinion of the day that i'll hide here in the tags so maybe people won't find it sksksk but#I personally find the concept of vinerva and the doomed tragedy of it more compelling than anything violentine did#like i'll defend violentine and i do believe it's an important and good ship it's just not my personal favorite#anyway but then the whole thing with lilly and minerva is so good and louis screaming FUCK YOU at minerva?? amazing love it so good#i love when the soft character who never chooses violence is so pissed off that all that anger they have boils to the surface and it's raw#like... he's SO mad he's SO furious he's SOOO UPSET like he wasn't even like this when marlon died or anything like he hit his limit#and then shooting dorian through the mouth while an accident is just well done i love it and i love his reaction of mortification#and apologizing and YET he still tries to go with clementine he's trembling and can barely string together a sentence but he wants to go#he wants to help her he wants to save aj THAT is the gut reaction he has after everything that just went down#'louis isn't loyal or good for clem because of the vote' babe tell me you don't understand any nuance of louis' character without telling m#it's fine IT'S FINE you don't have to agree and i just have to remind myself that it's fine not everyone likes louis we're okay#this drives me crazy in the best way like y'know what? i love the cells scene in louis' route all of it even the stuff i used to rant about#even the stuff that used to piss me off now i'm just like 'no wait past cj was dumb she wasn't looking at it this way aaaaaaaa' sksksks#that was my tag ted talk about the cell scene thank you
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nightmare-foundation · 11 hours ago
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I really want to offer my analysis here, because I don't entirely agree with this take, given that it's far more nuanced than what's seen here
Dick said he wished Jason had died in Nightwing v2 #119, in the midst of the Brothers in Blood arc. He thought this to himself right after fighting Jason, after Jason started running around in his own Nightwing costume, killing people and traumatizing bystanders, making Nightwing public enemy #1 and essentially ruining his reputation and trying to ruin his vigilante life, which Jason continues to do even after Dick expresses that he doesn't like what he's doing.
I'll be honest, I really don't blame Dick for briefly wanting Jason dead, considering the guy was deliberately ruining Dicks reputation as a vigilante, and pushing past every boundary Dick set up. Sure, it's no excuse, but I wouldn't expect Dick to welcome Jason back with open arms after something like that. I wouldn't either, frankly. Also, Jason pretty deliberately cut Dicks hand open too, and jokes about it. Jason wasn't giving Dick any reason to be friendly with him, especially knowing Dicks strict moral code. Also, Dick never once expressed this thought out loud, and honestly I'm not sure how in character it is for him to think something like that and not at least regret it.
As for the second time- that isn't Dick wanting Jason dead again. Dick is working off of the assumption that Jason never died in the first place, and on top of that, Jason DID originally die at the end of Under the Hood (note the effects from the Superboy Prime punch that shows up at the end of the comic, that also showed up when Jason was revived in his coffin). Dick isn't expressing that he wished Jason was dead here, he's literally saying that Jason wasn't supposed to be alive- that two separate events (Ethiopia, the end of UtH) should've killed him. That's the unbelievable part, the part that 'makes him sound crazy', because Jason isn't dead when he's supposed to be.
Another point- Brothers in Blood is infamously out of character for both Dick and Jason, and overall very wacky, especially at this point. Winick, in an interview, stated that Jason hated the idea of Dick (i don't have a link right now, but I can find it for you), but in this comic, he wants to be buddies? Not to mention Dick not regretting wanting someone dead, especially after the events of Nightwing v2 #93, which he was still very much recovering from at this point, hence the year long break from being Nightwing (which Jason interrupted by forcing Dick to act when he wasn't ready to).
Also... Dick, presumably, has no idea about what Jason went through. He isn't aware of how much he's struggling. All Dick is probably aware of (because let's be real, Bruce is shit at communicating), is that Jason somehow survived Ethiopia, came back years later as a murderous crime lord, supposedly died in a fight with Bruce, and is back again and wreaking havoc and killing people in HIS suit and refusing to stop. Hell, he probably JUST found out Jason was alive! But this is ALL Dick knows. I highly doubt he knows the details of the showdown between him and Bruce, or why Jason does what he does, etc. Jason sure as hell isn't explaining anything beyond why he kills, and that doesn't matter to Dick because he's strictly against killing, to the point of mental breakdowns if he does it himself or is responsible in some way (see: his reaction to beating the Joker to death and Blockbusters death). Jason isn't at all giving Dick any reason to sit down and talk to him, or be friendly. Sure, he wanted to know if they could be brothers again, but he could've communicated this earlier in a far more normal way lol.
And just so we're being fair: I'm also not entirely sure Jason actually didn't care when Dick supposedly died. Look at his face when he says "That's Blüdhaven.", and then his almost performative, kinda fake sounding words afterwards. Jason certainly hated the idea of Dick (the perfect golden boy who always listened to Batman and got all the love), but he never actually HATED-hated Dick, and even if he did, certainly not enough to want him dead. He even goes out of his way to save Dick and give him important information he just happened to overhear. On top of that, Jason is frequently depicted during this time as lying, both to himself and others, specifically when Winick writes him (see: Red Hood: The Lost Days. What he says and what he does don't line up). So I don't believe Jason really wanted Dick dead, or even just didn't care.
Overall, it's WAY more nuanced than just "Dick wanted Jason dead when he just found out his little brother was alive". Sure, is it kinda shitty to wish someone dead? Of course. Is it in character here? Not very. Do I blame him? Not at all. Do I believe they were shitty to each other in other ways? Absolutely! They have SO many issues, and have hurt each other a lot, I'm definitely not arguing that they haven't. But I don't think wanting the other dead was ever a real issue, nor a flaw in their relationship.
til that slade bombing bludhaven happens at the same time jason and bruce are duking it out in the under the red hood storyline and they see it happening.
in other news, jason peter todd is a raging asshole omg what a jerk THAT’S YOUR BROTHER?!??? WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT YOU LOVE DICK
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morningmask27 · 27 days ago
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Honestly I'm also not fully happy with what they did with Whis this book
#morningtalks#asc spoilers#Not like they gave Whistlepaw a lot of screentime at all despite how relevant WindClan was all of a sudden#(nooooo that had to go to Crowfeather. Not like he's got enough attention with TNP + PO3 + his super edition + deputyship + TBC#+ Changing Skies now too. Noooooooooooooooooooo we really can't have a single other cat in WindClan be important)#At least Whis had an excuse. Making Additional Content for another book that readers have to buy and be USELESS in that book#But Whistlebreeze?#Out of all the fun names you could've chosen. Whistlebreeze?#At least it's not Whistlepelt or Whistleheart#But really? Whistlebreeze?#I find it boring honestly#It's obviously a me thing. I'm obviously going to take Whis' name more seriously than most because I draw that damned cat Every Single Day#But there were so many possibilities for really poetic and pretty names#But they stuck with the simple option. Whistlebreeze#I obviously wanted Whistlebird#But with Ivypool's Therapy Session you could've made an argument for Whistlestorm#Even if it doesn't sound good at all. The two 't' s really don't make for a good name#But it would've been better than Whistlebreeze as far as I'm concerned#-breeze as a suffix can be cute and I like it but it has little to do with Whis aside from WindClan#Whistlebird neither but it sounds fun and has a rare suffix#Obviously Whistlefrost would've been hilarious#Heck. I just thought about Whistlecreek. Kinda odd but could be a more discrete hommage to Frostdawn as a RiverClan cat#(Frostdawn is a good name tho. Pissed she's back to being a healer but Frostdawn is good at least)#I also love the -berry suffix but with Berryheart just being a nuisance it would've been a very stupid decision here#But I'm just annoyed that they went with Whistlebreeze. It's boring. It's kinda pretty yeah but it adds nothing#It says ''Whis is a WindClan cat.''#Whistle- is a hard prefix to work with. The 't' and 'l' at the end makes it nearly impossible for a good amount of suffixes#Because they wouldn't sound good. (Any occlusive or lateral would've been horrendous. That's why Whistlelight sounds bad. Too many L's)#Whistlebreeze does sound nice at least but again it's bland and I am disappointed and really they could've done so much#With this name. Whistle is a difficult prefix but it offers so much poetic potential
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byanyan · 10 months ago
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someone should like... teach byan how to swim. or ride a bike. or drive, even, if you feel like risking your life.
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limitlessscion · 4 months ago
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[ no air + pinned ] sugu is pinning sato against the wall by his throat
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"why won't you fight!"
it was his fault that suguru was in this shitty predicament; the worst case scenario for having escaped death. his chest was aching. vines were draping themselves across his ribcage, nectar was intertwining with his blood cells and every thick swallow was coated in the sweetness of it. but it wasn't enough to mask the intense iron from his the blood.
he was coughing badly. specks of blood got through the gaps of his fingers when he covered his mouth and speckled satoru's face. the grip suguru had around his throat tightened with each heave of petals coming out of his mouth. when the fit subsided, he was panting heavily, and glaring at his lover through his disheveled bangs.
lover.
if satoru was truly in love, this disease would've left him alone by now.
"even though you won't fight me back, you're still killing me." he grinned maliciously. "you really are cruel, satoru."
The relationship was stifling in a way it hadn't been when they were teens, that past gentle understanding and kind patience replaced by a cruelty that had to be assuaged. What would have come easily under any other circumstance was tainted by this charade he put up; his smiles were faked, the joy upon seeing his friend dampened, innocuous touches triggered his want to pull away and shield himself. The performance he was forced to play was near agony; kisses tasted of ash and bile, and as they'd hold each other in their arms, Satoru would bury his face against the other as to not reveal his unhappiness, disguising his slight tremble of revulsion for something else.
There had been no other choice that day Suguru had flaunted the curse within his lungs rooted in rejection, basking in the irony of their newly wrought tragedy. Satoru had given up near everything to save the other's life —selfishly, against Suguru's wishes— yet it was his reluctance to reciprocate the one thing Suguru asked of him that doomed him. What else could Satoru have done but give in? The red string between them was dripping with blood, tied into snug nooses about both their necks; and Satoru had done so willingly by his own hands.
It'd been worth it, for a while. There'd been a semblance of the happiness they'd had as children and even a pale echo of it was precious indeed. Everything had been worth it— until it wasn't, the petals returning, catalyzing a horrific realization in them both: Satoru did not love Suguru, and that lack of love was killing him.
Violence had been welcomed into their bond from the first day it'd been reforged, and for people like them sometimes it was the only language they knew. It was why Satoru did not defend as Suguru lashed out, understanding that need to share, Suguru trying to convey even a fraction of the agony that wracked him. Of course Satoru wouldn't fight back; he was listening, because anything was better than examining the implications of what was happening. So he welcomed the force of wall slamming into his back to knock the air from him, and the hold around his neck that denied him the chance to regain his breath, and welcomed the way nails dug deep enough to pierce skin in sync with every cough. The blood splattering his lips tasted different from that rising at the back of his throat.
Suguru's accusations fell at their feet among the bloody petals that was an indictment on Satoru's character; he was incapable of love, he'd realized. It was something too human for him to have ever been able to grasp, for something that had been a curse upon the world with his very birth. What he'd always thought must be love was just another aspect of the curse that was him.
That he'd felt joy at Suguru's joy had not been love. That he'd stayed up all night sending texts to his classmate, daydreaming about what they'd do together the next day, excitement drumming in his chest had not been love. The agony of being abandoned on the street of Shinjuku had not been the cost of love. The force that had stayed his hand from killing his once-partner had not been love. The obsession and desperation that had made him throw away his own freedom to buy Suguru's life had not been love. His miserable willingness to act a love that he did not feel— of course that couldn't have been love either, it had only been a lie after all.
It did not matter how much he cared, how much he ached for connection and to be understood; it would never be good enough to be love.
Satoru did not speak in response to the venomous words— he could not with the crushing pressure at his larynx, barely able to gasp shallow quick breaths between pushing down his body's natural want to fight back, to push away this assailant as surely as a hurricane would batter a mere butterfly. His blue eyes remained their natural gunmetal blues as he reached out a hand to cup Suguru's face oh so softly, wiping clean the blood from the edge of his lips with a thumb and reaching up to wipe sweat-stuck hair from his skin, tucking bangs behind his ears. He moved with the gentleness of a man who knew his own strength in a world of things too fragile for him; the hurricane sweeping the butterfly softly into the lee side of a shelter.
His entire being ached to protect the man before him and longed for those eyes filled with hatred to once again shine with joy. He would do anything.
Anything but love him.
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nukenai · 1 year ago
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Tonight I went to my friends' wedding where they played lofi video game music for a large portion of the time, had pokemon and other nerd figures all over the tables, gave me a rock with my name hand painted on it, and cut the cake with a sword.
I have the coolest fucking friends on earth.
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mad-hunts · 7 months ago
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11. what would your muse consider their worst failing?
hello, @absensia, and happy sunday! thank you so much for the ask :D i just want y'all know that i appreciate every single one of these!! but alright, well... to tell you why barton views this particular thing as being his worst failing, i'm going to have to give you some backstory first. so please bear with me while i explain! so, as you may or may not know, barton currently has four kids. two of which are biologically related to him and the other two being adopted. though, back whenever he was first starting off as the dollmaker, barton actually had five kids. and this fifth child he had was named julien.
julien was different from the rest of his siblings, like jack is, in the way that he seemed to have experienced some form of trauma before barton had even adopted him that caused him to be very sensitive in relation to other people's emotions and actually made him act a bit jumpy. but this didn't change the fact that julien was kind of affectionately regarded as ' the best of all of them ' by barton's other kids whenever he was still around; and that was because julien would often try to protect his siblings, even in situations where he could get severely hurt, and he seemed to have this sort - of mellowing affect on barton because of just how likeable of a person he was.
the best way that i could describe what made him so special is that he was SUCH a good listener and had a way of making people feel welcome around him, which may be a bit surprising to hear considering the often dark + terribly gory reputation of the mathis family, but julien also really didn't like what he had to do while he was a part of their family sometimes. so you can imagine that whenever barton lost him to someone as sadistic as the joker... he was beyond devastated. not only because julien was like a figure of light in a family that could be the epitome of overwhelming despair, but because barton was the one who told him to go assist the joker with one of his ' schemes, ' as the man had contracted his help to do a rather grisly act to him — which would be to cut off his face — and julien had never come back from that meeting with him.
and although one could make the argument that barton couldn't have possibly known that that would happen, especially considering that he didn't know the full extent of just how bad the joker was at the time, he still very much blames himself for it. because barton believed that he should've known better in the end and gone there himself instead of treating this job like it'd be like any other one that they'd done, when it really wasn't. now just to give you some more context before i go on; if there's one thing you should know about barton, it's that his relationship with his children are probably his most complicated, so i do believe he does hold some kind of genuine love for them... but it's not a love that anyone can easily understand and one that likely isn't healthy at least half the time either.
but he felt legitimately torn up inside about it even a year later, and today, it's still isn't something that he likes to talk about. it was by far his greatest failure both as a father and as a person in his eyes. plus, knowing the fact that julien died alone and probably in a lot of pain, too? it was so painful for him that barton would swear up and down that it felt akin to someone shooting him right through the heart. so, if you were to ask him what he would do if he could go back in time and change one thing about his past, barton's answer wouldn't be that he would save himself from the cruelty of having to grow up under wesley's roof, or to make it so that his mom didn't have to leave him and he'd actually get to know her, or even to spend more a little more time with marcy... though, trust me, he has thought about all of those things.
it would be that he'd save julien. because he deserved so much better, in his eyes, than to be killed at the age of seventeen whenever he still had his whole life ahead of him and to have his comments about him being scared to go confront the joker completely dismissed. and this is also something that barton hates himself for. how to feels to have your feelings disregarded is something that barton is shocking familiar with, after all, and it's not a good feeling at all. but the fact remains that he can't do anything about his death now. all barton can do is grieve him at night, whenever he has no choice but to be alone with his thoughts, and he looks at past photographs of their entire family that have long since faded. of julien.
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Out of the grandmansters/egg bosses in the Archie comics, which one was your favorite?? It can be either from pre reboot or post reboot!
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Hehehe unfortunately for you, anon, my fav becomes a grandmaster before the super genesis wave and therefore is my immediate first choice without contest
*Bangs fist on table* I love her so much
#sonic the hedgehog#archie sonic comics#lien da the echidna#anon interview#I'm too lazy to look up where that screenshot I have came from but I think it's during the endangered species arc before the worlds#collide special#Thanks for the ask anon!! I always love an excuse to shove a fav in people's faces🥺💖#Honestly what I enjoyed about the grandmasters was how they were always playing this tenuous game with Eggman#And how a lot of them joined thinking they'd obtain power‚ only to have to worry about Eggman sacking them if they disappointed#I think Dimitri was probably my second favorite grandmaster just because his character was so much more interesting to me during this period#(from joining Eggman with the legion through to being found in a crate in one of Eggman's bases)#And while I don't have any specific favorites‚ I really enjoyed the complexity with the post sgw eggbosses#A lot of them joined Eggman to save their people or people they care about‚ or to have a better shot at keeping their people safer than they#would fighting against eggman#One of them just really likes him#Some of them joined because of cultural values (in this case#'the leader is the strongest' type of mentality)#And sure some still did it because of power‚ but post sgw makes it harder to ignore (as the story did just before the sgw) exactly what#conditions would drive people to join a conquering dictator‚ even if they hated him#That being said I don't really have a favorite Egg Boss#I guess I'll say maybe Clove or Axel#i just be ramblin#If you have any other questions about my favorite anything or my thoughts on characters or anything like that‚ feel free to shoot me#another ask!!🥰
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