#this is my honest and true opinion regarding this topic: if you need to block me for it then i made this post for you

[willowser]

just to make sure we are all on the same page in this corner of the internet, i want to be explicitly clear about my stance/feelings on some things:

if i come across "content"/fic in this niche that i absolutely do not like, do not vibe with, am not interested in, that icks me out completely and totally—i scroll past it as quickly as i can and i move on with my day.

in the case that it's "content"/fic that really bothers or triggers me in any way, i make sure that i have blacklisted/blocked certain tags and keywords so that in the future i may not come across those things again.

i also understand that there is a variety of tags used throughout the internet and that websites are not perfect/things slip through the cracks. people are also human, and mistakes are also made.

in the event i am exposed to something that i do not want to see, point blank, i would never and will never believe it is my right to harass and terrorize the person writing said thing/s, and if i witness this kind of behavior being celebrated among the people around me, whoever you are, i will be removing you from my space.

to be perfectly and abundantly clear: i will always be a supporter of dark content, and its right to be written. even if i don't understand it, even if it "disgusts" me, even if i never want to read it.

please understand that i do not say this with hostility, nor do i mean it as a threat or to be confrontational. you should protect the space that you are in; this is me doing that, this is me making sure that you do that, even if it's against me.

[bootsukki]

0.

fic masterlist!

full masterlist

taglist: @adelinesthoights @bellssforyou @halfp4stmidnight @avis-writeshq @carm1lla @sunghoonsgfreal @reirain @cherrypieyourface

There's nothing Tsukishima hates more than people trying to get information about his life. More especially, his dating life.

He hates it even more when it's his friends doing it.

Tsukishima has always considered himself a really honest person and he can't even recall the last time he lied (maybe it was that time he told Akiteru the cake he made for his 15th birthday was good?) but, as he has grown older, he has discovered that sometimes honesty is a curse. Being so blunt can cause problems, especially when it comes to someone asking for his opinion on clothes, he is really not the person to go for in those kinds of situations.

Tsukishima has also realized that, by being honest, people can make their own opinions, and he doesn't like that one bit.

Tsukishima has nothing to hide, so, why should he lie?

He sips on his beer, watching as his friends talk passionately about something. This was a last-minute get together proposed by Tobio Kageyama, one of his closest friends from high school. All of his group of friends are friends he has had since he was a teenager and now, university students, they are still going to the same university, different majors.

Tsukishima tends to like these midweek hangouts after working all day on projects, tests...

A few questions regarding Tadashi Yamaguchi's last tests followed from Shoyo Hinata but it wasn't long before Kei was placed as the topic of conversation.

"Hey, so." Kageyama sits down on the booth, takes his own beer, and looks at his friends. "Those girls by that booth are single."

"Cool." Tsukishima answers, finishing his beer. "You can ask them for their numbers."

"No need, my contact list is already full." Tsukishima grimaces at that statement. He hates when Kageyama gets into his "look at me I'm so cool and I fuck a lot" façade he has had since they started college. Kageyama was the most popular one out of their group and Tsukishima could understand why. He was athletic and confident but at the same time, he was a bit of a nerd when it came to volleyball, which always caught girls’ attention. "You never go on dates."

"That's true." Ryunosuke Tanaka adds, turning to glance at the girls. "You've never said anything about girls."

"No offense but... I don't talk about girls as if they were prizes."

Hinata laughs, looking at Kageyama with a smirk.

"Are you hiding something?" Kageyama insists. "You never tell us anything!"

"Well, I'm all ears for your love life, Kageyama, be my guest and delight us with all you have done this week. Still seeing Sayuri? Oh, wait, you dumped her for... Amane, was her name?"

"Ha, ha."

"I have a lot of stuff to focus on."

"Oh yeah? School breaks are a thing, you know?” Kageyama says and Tanaka nods vigorously. "You can't tell me that you haven't noticed anyone in campus on in your neighbourhood, I mean... You block is full of gorgeous woman who wouldn't mind dating you."

"What is your point?" Tsukishima feels himself getting irritated with the conversation.

Kageyama shrugs, exchanging a look with Yamaguchi. "I mean... If I lived where you do, I wouldn't waste a second. It doesn't have to be serious, it's not like you are going to marry any of these girls. They just want to have fun and enjoy their university life while they can."

"You should give dating a go, it's not that bad." Hinata adds, grabbing some olives.

"See? Even Hinata agrees."

"I think you should mind your own business."

Tsukishima hasn't met anyone he's wanted to date. He found some girls attractive, but he is too awkward to approach them. And truth be told, he was completely content with how things were in his life.

Tsukishima likes his routine, he likes everything about it, going to class, hanging out with friends... He has never thought about seriously dating.

Although, he couldn't help but think in some way, his friends are right. You never know how it will go until you give it a try, right? Maybe casually dating is not that bad. He doesn't want to be Kageyama, with girls hating him because he's obviously an asshole without feelings but he doesn't want to spend his university years not trying out new things and discovering what he genuinely likes or not.

"Dating is so much fun." Kageyama adds with a sigh.

"You don't date, Tobio." Yamaguchi chimes in the conversation. "If that's dating, Tsukki is in his right mind about not doing it."

"Don't be such a..." Kageyama trails off, focusing on the group of young women who have just entered the bar. Tsukishima recognises one of them, Mei, who goes to one of his classes. Mei turns her head and, noticing Tsukishima's presence, sends him a smile and a wave. Tsukishima smiles and averts his eyes after a few seconds. "party-pooper."

"Tsukishima!" Hinata nudges him on the shoulder. "She just smiled at you. Love is knocking on your door, answer it."

"She's still looking at you, champ." Tanaka adds, giving Tsukishima all their empty glasses. "While you're at it, buy us more drinks."

"Tanak-"

"Hi." Tsukishima turns, looking at Mei right in front of him and all of his friends leave small (but audible) gasps. "Need help with that?"

"Yeah, thanks."

Mei grabs some of the empty glasses, walking towards the bar, which isn't far along from his table. "How is the modern history project going? It's rough, isn't it?"

"Oh, yeah, it's lengthy as well."

Mei smiles, nodding, leaving the empty glasses on the bar. "It's probably the worst one of all the ones we have."

"Yeah."

She looks at the empty glasses. "Would you like a drink?"

Tsukishima can't understand why, but he falls silent. Mei is a really nice girl and she's not ugly by any means, she’s totally gorgeous. He looks back at his friends, who are waiting for his answer but...

"I'm fine, thank you."

Mei's smile flattens for a second but doesn't seem disappointed by his answer. "I get it, classes tomorrow." Tsukishima nods. "But," she adds, getting closer to him. "If you're free tomorrow, maybe we can work on the history project and grab a drink afterwards."

Mei's bolder than he originally thought but he's not interested in her. They are classmates and that would only complicate things.

Tsukishima knows his friends are watching, completely abandoning their conversations, expecting an answer from him.

"I have a girlfriend." Tsukishima blurts. "Well, I'm seeing someone."

Mei blinks, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Oh." Tsukishima wants to run, awkward tension rising between them but, without thinking, Mei regains her composure and smiles. "I didn't know, my bad."

Mei turns away and goes back to her friends.

His table has fallen completely silent, and Tsukishima just turns to the bartender.

"5 beers, please."

"What was that?" Kageyama is already at his side. "Mei Watako offers you a drink and you lie?"

"You know her?"

"Of fucking course I know her. She's Mei Watako, she's so hot." Kageyama glances back at her. "And she's still looking at you. You're a lost case."

Tsukishima feels his blood boil and looks straight into Kageyama's eyes.

"She may be hot but as I said, I'm seeing someone."

"As if."

"Tobio, that wasn't a lie." Tsukishima grabs some beers and goes back to the table. "Here you go."

"Why didn't you say anything sooner?"

"As I said, mind your own business."

"You're serious." Kageyama adds, laughing. "Who? Since when?"

"I'm seeing someone, that's all you need to know."

"Oh, come on! I need to know who she is! You must really like her if you're turning down a drink and a fun time with Mei."

"You don't know her."

"Are you sure?"

"Oh, I'm sure. She hates assholes like you." Tsukishima doesn't feel like drinking anymore and grabs his jacket. "I'm out. See you at home, Yamaguchi."

You open your mailbox, taking out the letters that are meant for you and your roommate to find, once again, letter for your neighbours. With a sigh, you take them, locking your mailbox before making your way up the stairs to your apartment on the second floor. As you approach the stairs, you see your floormate, Tsukishima Kei stepping through the main door.

"Oh, hey."

"Hey." You wave, showing him the letters addressed to him. "Ugh, again?"

"Yeah, sorry. I don't know why they keep putting them on our mailbox."

You hover for a bit before making your way up, Kei following close behind.

"No, I'm sorry. We told the building manager, but he doesn't seem to care about it."

You nod, not knowing what to answer.

You've known Tsukishima for almost a year. He had been living in the block for three years and you moved in after... Well, after it all happened. You friend Hikota had a free room, and you took it without even questioning the logistics or how long it would take you to go to your classes.

You only see Kei in passing and it has only been a few months since you know his name, thanks to the incorrect mail you always seem to get but, being honest, he's the only person you talk to on the block aside from Hikota, him and his roommate Yamaguchi.

With nothing more to say, you stop at your door, waving goodbye. "See ya."

Kei nods, walking to his door, just a few meters away from yours.

As you enter, you take off your shoes and leave your backpack on the floor, making your way towards the kitchen, trying to find something to snack on before continuing with your digital documentation essay.

It didn't matter the day it was, your schedule always seemed full of assignments, projects, and tests. Although, that may be your fault. After last year, you decided to focus 100% on your studies, completely ignoring your social life, which you didn't have after almost all your friends stopped talking to you. All of them except for Yachi Hikota, the small-blonde girl who decided to be your friend after meeting in an elective course about graphic design.

You sigh, taking a bite of the cereal bar you had found. You're somewhat comfortable with the way things are but you cannot lie and say that you are happy with it. You don't have fun weekends like all your neighbours, you don't go out as much as you would like. Not as much as you used to.

Hikota invites you out with her friends and although you sometimes do accept her invitation, you sometimes feel out of place. Hikota's friends are nice, but you're hit with jealously when they talk about their plans, their boyfriends and everything in between.

Making friends at 21 feels weird. Everyone has their own friends. You're not a new student navigating through life and doing things for the first time. You're a third-year journalism students that feels... lonely.

Shaking your head, you throw the wrapping on the bin and walk towards your room.

Tsukishima cannot believe that he actually lied to his friends. There's no one in his life. He's not even texting anyone.

Why? Why did he do that? What is he supposed to do now? There's no way he can find a girlfriend and he knows that Tobio won't drop the subject until he meets Tsukishima's girlfriend or discovers the lie.

He's pathetic.

He has never been one to get his ego hurt by these things but tonight have been different and he just... said it. There. Done.

His phone buzzes at the back of his pocket. Taking out his phone, he feels himself getting angry again at Kageyama's message on the groupchat.

Our Tsukki's probably with his girlfriend atm (YES!!! he has a girlfriend!!!), wrap it first, k? ;)

"Fucking assh-"

The gears in Tsukishima's brain start to function and he locks his phone, grabbing his keys and leaving the apartment, walking towards door 927.

Tsukishima Kei's intense gaze falls to the ground, a flush at the tips of his ears, slowly spreading to his face.

"Excuse me? To be your fake-girlfriend?"

Tsukishima nods. You're by no means friends. You're only... neighbours.

You part your mouth, trying to think of an answer but, the only things that comes out of it is a laugh.

"You're joking."

But... he doesn't seem like he is joking. Tsukishima's cheeks are flushed, and you are crossed between surprise and confusion.

You are... strangers.

"I..." You clear your throat. "What?"

Tsukishima looks down at you and even though he's a giant of a man, he looks like a little kid at the moment.

"You can say no. This is just... sorry."

"Kei, no, I..." You look at him, trying to find an answer. "Why do you need a fake girlfriend? You're cute enough to get a real one."

Tsukishima's eyes widen and you part your mouth.

"I mean... You are... You... Never mind."

"Listen," he sighs. "All my friends are dating around, having lots of fun and yeah, I don't mind being like... single."

"But... They pick on you for being single?"

"I have a friend that... Tobio Kageyama, you know him?"

You shake your head. Why would you know his friend?

"Thank God..." Tsukishima sighs. "Anyway, he does, pretty much. I didn't mind at first but..."

You cross your arms over your chest. "It's..."

"I know. It's immature that 21-year-old men do that. It's stupid."

"So? Tell him."

"Yeah..." Tsukishima rans a hand through his hair. "I.... IsortofsaidIwasseeingsomeone haha."

"What?"

"I said, like, in the heat of the moment that I was... you know... seeing someone."

You laugh before you can even think about it.

"I... I just need someone to fill the spot for a few weeks and then I'll say we broke up."

You look at him. "Why me?"

Tsukishima looks at you.

"I... know you." He said, rubbing the back of his head. "This is pathetic but you're truly the only woman I interact with, if we even can call it interactions.” He stops for a second. “I don’t remember you having a boyfriend or anything, so… And, it is not that weird right? It is believable, we're neighbours, we could have met literally anywhere, we go to the same university... And, the best thing is that, you practically don't know any of my friends except for Yamaguchi and he doesn't notice a lot of things." You nod. "We don't know anything about each other, I know but... You seem like the perfect option."

You keep looking at him. He's right, in some way. You don't know or seem to know any of his friends and the idea of being friends make everything logical. Neighbours who meet because they get each other’s mail, start talking and date. Sounds a lot like those romance books you used to read before you were swamped with university work.

Except for the fact that, as he said, you know nothing about him.

"I know it is a lot to ask of you, but I can pay you or...."

You start thinking about it more seriously. If he needs a girlfriend to introduce to his friends, that means that you will probably interact with people. Interactions raise your social life and who knows? Maybe you'll have fun.

"Will you take me on dates?"

"Dates?" Tsukishima asks. "Like, you and me?"

"I mean... That's what dates are. And...." You smile. "I guess I should really get to know my “boyfriend” before he introduces me to his friends, right?"

"You'll do it?" Tsukishima smiles warmly. "Are you sure?"

"I'll be your girlfriend." You say. "Well, pretend. And you won't have to pay me or anything, I'm sure."

"Okay. Okay!" Tsukishima reaches for your hand, shaking it and bowing his head. You blush for a second and look at him. "Okay, thank you. Really, thank you. Just... if you ever want to quit, tell me and I'll just... I'll do it, okay? I’ll say we broke up or something."

"Okay." You laugh at his antics. "Have my number. We need to plan this perfectly if I'm going to meet your friends."

"Yeah, sure." Tsukishima extends a hand, giving you his phone and you offer yours. You exchange contact information as you plan your first moves: meeting for coffee tomorrow.

"I finish classes at 4, maybe we can meet in Suno's dining hall?"

"Yeah, that's perfect."

"Great, see you and thank you again."

"Bye, Tsukishima."

As you close the door, you smile, finding yourself nervous with the idea of the future of this lie.

[thrashkink-coven]

I’m going to say this once. This might piss some of my followers off but I see that as a positive. If this post makes you mad you are more than free to unfollow me.

I’m going to try to make this as clear as possible.

I do not hate Christianity, I do not hate Yahweh, and I do not hate Jesus. I do not love Christianity, I do not love Yahweh, and I do not love Jesus.

These things exist in a realm that is outside of my influence. To be entirely honest, I don’t care about Christianity, or the ideas of Christianity. Christianity has no place nor impact on me, my craft, or my life.

Don’t get me wrong, I love history, theology, and the symbolism in all religions. I find the way that humans rationalize big concepts to be fascinating. I have nothing against Christianity as an existing religion- it is one that I do not subscribe to or necessarily agree with- but I do respect it as a faith. I equally respect Hinduism as a faith, as I respect the Jewish religion etc. There is too much beauty in religion to discount it completely.

If you are one of those Luciferians that croaks on and on about how much you hate Jesus and God, please just unfollow me or block me I don’t care. I don’t enjoy seeing anti-religious slander as much as I don’t enjoy seeing anti-pagan or anti-science slander. I am not a fan of echo chambers in any regard.

It is extremely obvious to me every time I see a rant written by someone who has never actually read the bible. It is frustrating, not as a Christian, but as someone who just loves theology, to see uneducated people taking so boldly about a religion they are not a part of and book they have hardly read the first page of. There are thousands of legitimate things about Christianity that deserve criticism, but if you are not educated on the topic, don’t talk so boldly about it. This applies to all things. I’m not going to make a post about how evil Muslims are because I hardly know the first thing about the Muslim faith. I’m not Muslim and I have absolutely no context for the things I’d be talking about. It is not my place whatsoever to cast those judgements because my judgements would be born or ignorance.

Listen, I understand that Christianity has basically fucked the entire world. I get it. I understand that Christians have stollen and bastardized basically everyone. I know. I understand that many of us have vengeful rageful religious trauma and have absolutely no tolerance for Christianity, I understand. I know it’s triggering. I know that Christianity is not in need of a defender from pagans, the point of this post is not to defend Christianity.

My point is that endlessly putting energy into actively hating the concepts of a religion that you’re not apart of is a waste of time. In my opinion that’s not liberation, your mind is still trapped within the confines of Christianity even if you’re mad about it, even if you think you’re rebelling against it- if you’re trapped within it, you can never effectively be free from it.

If your mind is still playing with dualistic concepts of good and bad, hell and heaven, then you are still a slave to the dualistic mindset, and that is the mindset that establishes Christianity.

I say this as someone with an extremely redically Christian family that kicked me out of my home at 18. I have literally been black sheeped, and I have no contact with any of my family because of their extremism towards religion. I have sat and listened to my parents tell me that I’m going to hell for being queer. I have been physically and emotionally abused. I was made homeless before I knew how to take care of myself in the name of that God. That God and his people have inspired many tearful nights.

I have many many reasons to be an avid hater of Christianity, but that wouldn’t do anything to satisfy me. Hating God and Jesus isn’t retribution for the abuse I suffered. More hatred and anger being thrown into this miserable mix isn’t going to set me free. True freedom is being able to say “this doesn’t serve me,” and being able to actually just walk away and find something that does.

My devotion to Lucifer or any of my deities has absolutely nothing to do with the Abrahamic God. I don’t worship Lucifer to “get back at God” and I don’t care how he feels about it whatsoever. It has nothing to do with him or anyone beyond me and Lucifer.

I personally do not worship Lucifer as Satan or the Anti-God. Nor do I use him as a placeholder for that God, or worship him as one would worship the Christian God. In most contexts, Yahweh and Christian forms of worship are completely irrelevant to me. I don’t think that I’m being such a bad little sinner when I pray to Lucifer instead of Yahweh. That idea implies that I still subscribe to concepts of heaven and hell, purity and sinners. Yahweh is not my concept of good, and Lucifer is not my concept of evil.

Many occultists and Luciferians that I am friends with have told me that at some point in their devotion, Lucifer has told them to essentially “forgive God”, and it always absolutely baffles people. I have had a very similar experience with him.

I challenge you to forgive God, but not in the Christian way.

I’ll say something very controversial that many Luciferians probably won’t agree with, and that’s fine.

I don’t think that Lucifer hates Yahweh. I don’t think he has any real negative opinions of him in general. They are two different entities with vastly different roles and purposes. The actions of their followers are not a reflection of their true nature. I don’t think the Sun hates Neptune, and I don’t think the river hates the moon. I severely doubt that Venus hates Yahweh, I believe that at one point human politics created an idea about good and evil that exists only in the minds of men. I don’t think that Mars hates Jupiter, and I doubt that Pluto hates Saturn. I don’t think these concepts translate on a universal scale.

When Lucifer says to “forgive God” I don’t think he’s talking about the colonial empire of Christianity that has stollen and destroyed, and I want to make it clear that I’m not telling you to forgive Christians and their terrible acts- you have no obligation to forgive these humans.

I think he’s talking more about the concept of God as The All Father of Goodness.

You don’t have to like him or his people to forgive him, to say “you’re not for me” and free yourself of his grasp. To allow yourself to define what goodness is to you outside of Yahweh and his predetermined rules.

Forgive God, but not in the Christian way. Do not forgive to give way to further abuse. Do not forgive because the abuse was okay. Do not forgive him because you’ll go to hell if you don’t.

Forgive to free yourself of the emotional trauma bond you have with this God, and then go find something better. Walk away with your grace.

I don’t think about Yahweh or his people most days. I don’t reserve any energy- be that positive or negative- in my mind or heart for him. I forgave him a long time ago, and now I walk away from him comfortably and happily knowing that I am headed towards something greater.

I don’t hate him, I don’t love him. I don’t need to feel these things about a God that is irrelevant to me.

[btsblues]

A guide to BTS's ARMY.

gif originally posted by SPJM

If you heard some lines like, "Dy-na-na-na, na-na, na-na-na, na-na, life is dynamite!" You become curious who's the singer of the song, you heard that this K-Pop boy band has already debuted in Hollywood too. This is how your curiosity killed the cat, you searched the famous boy band, BTS.

As your researching is getting longer, you got to know your oppas and finally became an ARMY — Adorable Representative M.C for Youth. Now that you're new to fandom, you also need to know these etiquettes so your maturity will be well-trained as well as getting to know the members of BTS, where it is composed of seven, lucky members. Namely — RM (Rap Monster), Jin, SUGA, j-hope, Jimin, V, and last but not the least, Jungkook.

Be yourself — during Love Yourself era, the songs and concepts are all about loving yourself. Wherein a person had failed to love another person (breakup) has to learn to love itself again. It's the same if you're new to fandom, you don't need to pretend like you're an old fan of BTS, love yourself as a new fan. There's nothing wrong on being new into the fandom! Just love yourself and be who you are.

Make BTS as your inspiration — many people say, "K-Pop is a distraction to your studies". Well, you can't say NO or YES because that depends on how we deal with it. Make BTS as your inspiration, especially to your studies! For example, you need to study hard and sincere to meet them in real life.

FUN FACT! Did you know that I (admin) gained many medals, ribbons and certificates ever since I stanned BTS (BLACKPINK and EXO)? Although, I'm really the type of student who receives an academic award every year, but BTS (BLACKPINK and EXO) even made me worked harder. I even ranked 5th over hundreds of students when I was in sixth grade.

Stream and Vote! — streaming their music videos on YouTube is an enormous amount of help, especially if you stream them for many times. Also, if you have Spotify or SoundCloud, listen to their high quality music. It'll help BTS (and your favorite artists) to gain awards and be closer to success! Also, vote from these famous award shows like Golden Disc Awards (GDA), Korean Grammys, Mnet Asian Music Awards (MAMA), Melon Music Awards (MMA), and many more.

Be a friendly fan — the fandom is getting toxic as it gets more popularity. Being matured enough person will avoid fanwars, where there would be a toxic fight from different fandoms. If we'll be friendly, it'll be a happy thing for our idols. That would make them proud of us, so please stop doing bad things that can cause ugly image to our boys. It's not what you think that they'll be happy at what you are doing, especially if it's obviously wrong.

What if this fan from another fandom (either not) is attacking my idols? Why I can't be mad of it, huh?! Who are they to make shit out of my idols? — Calm down. Not people are perfect though. There's nothing good or evil people in this world, it's just that the situation makes us look bad, and that made it imperfect and have flaws. If this another fan from another fandom or also an ARMY, you can't declare a WWIII (World War 3). If this person disrespected your opinion, then block or mute it. Don't fight with anyone, especially you don't know who that person is. Just respect its own opinion even it's not your taste. We have our own standards and neither you and I can control them. Talk with them calmly and say that you respect their opinion, also tell them that they need to respect you too. Unfortunately, if the person you're talking is close-minded, I'm afraid that you should end the conversation and let it go instead. If you need more questions regarding to this topic, kindly PM me!

Respect each other's OTP's — One True Pairing(s) or also known as OTP. This is where we ship idols either in a friendly (bromance or girl-romance) way or romantic (true love) way. There's nothing wrong on shipping, but always remember that each of us has limitations when it's come to the idol's privacy. We need to respect their personal lives. Trust them only. I advice you to not trust Dispatch, K-medias, international medias, etc. JUST TRUST YOUR IDOLS. And back to shipping, don't compare your OTP to other's OTP, especially if that's not their taste. Let's just respect each other's OTP's and our idol's privacy.

Listen to BTS's music — the best etiquette, to be honest. Whatever you feel, whether you're happy or not, listen to Bangtan's music. Love Yourself, Map of The Soul: Persona, Map of The Soul: 7 and BE are not the only choices you can have, but you have many more than you imagined! Plus, you can listen to other solo mixtapes of the members.

So, that's all for today's blog! I hope these etiquettes will help you. I'll post more blogs about BTS, especially about their song meanings/theories and my fangirl experiences as an ARMY (maybe I'll mix my BLINK and EXO-L blood? Any BLINKs and EXO-Ls there?).

BTS song of the day: Not Today — I would like to recommend this song! If you feel giving up and you wanna throw yourself away as if you're just a useless rock, then play this song because it's NOT TODAY! We'll just survive no matter how the circle kept on rolling, we have our ups and downs. Also, the melody of this song feels like you're going on a war, like a bulletproof boy/girl scout.

In the first verse that sung by RM, "A day may come when we lose. But it is not today. Today we fight." So what are you waiting for? "Aim your gun. Ready! Fire!" (Chong. Jojun! Balsa!/총. 조준! 발사!)

Like and Reblog to share this to your K-Pop friends!

[arlome]

For Phrack please! “The diamond in your engagement ring is fake.”

But of course, my darling!

(This turned out to be far longer than I expected )

They think they are so damn clever.

It’s a well-guarded secret, at first, kept away from all prying eyes and wagging tongues; something precious that only the two of them - and her loyal household - are privy to. It’s exciting and new, brilliant and all-encompassing, and her heart swells in a way unknown to her before at the thrilling, clandestine nature of this affection, one that is so thoroughly different than her previous affairs of the flesh.

It all goes swimmingly until he is seen leaving her house early in the morning one too many times, wearing the same suit he wore to work the previous day. The factory of vicious rumours begins producing all sorts of farfetched gems, and the nature of their relationship becomes the topic of various tea dances and garden parties all across Melbourne. Eventually, the good inspector is summoned to a rather awkward conversation down at Russel Street, that leaves him rather frustrated, but amuses his partner exceedingly.

“Not to worry, Jack,” she says, smiling lazily, her head pillowed on his sweat-slicked abdomen after a rather vigorous session of lovemaking. “We’ll figure something out.” 

The idea forms in her ever-thinking head rather organically, and even though he is reluctant to agree at first - no doubt worried she might come to resent the arrangement in some way - he ends up acquiescing to the scheme like the reluctant good sport he can sometimes be. And so, a decision is tentatively made and is left to lie as low as possible, until a few days pass and the two detectives find themselves on the same case.

They’re walking down Wellington St, heading to the police car that’s wisely parked a few blocks away from the rowdy part of Collingwood in which one of their suspects lives when Jack stops in front of a pawnbroker’s window, a rather reflective expression on his handsome face.

“Jack?” Phryne asks as he pats down his pockets with an air of deep concentration, but the man just holds up a finger at her inquiry and disappears into the shop.

He emerges a few minutes later, his lips set in his subtle, lopsided smile, and drops something small and circular into the palm of her hand.

It’s a comely Paste set in a simple gold ring, one square stone fixed right in the middle of a thin strip of reddish-gold. It’s probably too small for her taste - she’s accustomed to bigger, more substantial rings - but one look at Jack’s open face endears the thing to her. 

His eyes are smiling, shining with the shared joke, full to the brim with mischief so unlike him, that Phryne feels light on her feet. And when he goes down on one knee in the middle of the busy street, not even bothering with doffing his hat, she nearly snorts with the absurdity of the situation.“Will you fake marry me, Miss Fisher?” he asks, and the corners of his generous mouth twitch with the need to curl into a smile.

She laughs and shakes her head at the ridiculous mock-proposal, but nods almost eagerly nonetheless.

“Yes, yes, a million times yes!” she gasps dramatically, and squeals in delight when Jack springs to his feet and sweeps her off hers to a few lazy cheers from a slowly gathering crowd.

“Let’s see Russel Street having qualms about this!” Jack whispers in her ear, laughing almost giddily. “Here you are, making an honest man out of me.”

She brushes his cheek lovingly and leans into his tight embrace, ignoring the world around them.

“You were always an honest man, Jack Robinson,” she mutters, a little overcome despite herself. “I never needed a silly ring to tell me that.”They make love on her bedroom floor that night, slowly and deeply, naked and laughing, the silly little ring catching the low light between their shifting bodies. She never takes it off.

They let the gossip columns do their job for them; a few gatherings where the pair are seen together, the simple ring on Phryne’s finger prominent and telling, sends the socialites of Melbourne into a frenzy. The two detectives never outrightly confirm or deny a thing, but Jack is never summoned by Russel Street to awkward talks of a rather personal nature again. 

A fundraising luncheon at Aunt P’s brings the honeymoon to a rather jolting pause. The old battle axe takes one less-than-discreet look at the ring, blanches, and asks for a quick moment of Phryne’s time.

“Whatever is the matter, Aunt P?” Phryne asks, worried at the paleness of her aunt’s face. “We’ve left poor Jack alone with all those hungry-looking women; he might never recover if we don’t hurry back!”

Prudence Stanley scrutinizes her niece with considerable shrewdness, her head tilting in the direction of the ring.

“So, are the rumours true?” she asks, at last, her voice just a little on the shrill side.

Phryne blinks innocently and tugs on one dangling earring.

“What rumours?” she asks, seemingly naive, but the pitch of her tone rises slightly towards the end of the question and she winces inwardly. She has a ‘tell’ and she knows it.

“Don’t play coy with me, my girl,” he aunt replies sternly, pointing at Phryne’s left hand. “Are you or are you not engaged to be married to Detective Inspector Jack Robinson?”

Phryne sighs and abandons all pretence; it’s not like she ever truly stood a shot with the older woman.

“Jack and I have an… understanding,” she divulges reluctantly, mentally preparing herself for her aunt’s lecture on propriety and station. 

But Prudence Stanely only sighs worriedly and wrings her plump hands, nearly shocking her niece into a stupor.

“My dear,” she begins shakily, not knowing how to approach the situation. “You know I hold your inspector in the highest regard - he is a good, decent man; very educated too, which is a pleasant surprise, for a man of his station - but��� well… my dear girl, the diamond in your engagement ring is fake.”

Phryne exhales in relief, smiles a little too brightly, and reaches for her aunt’s hands.

“Oh, Aunt P,” she says softly, her brow furrowing slightly. “I know…”

“You…you know?” the older woman stutters in disbelief. “But…”

Phryne purses her lips and nods.

“So, you’re not engaged, then?” Aunt Prudence asks,  and the forlorn note in her voice makes Phryne sadder than she anticipated.

“Afraid not, Aunt,” she replies, smiling a tad self - deprecatingly. “We’d much rather just live in sin.” Then, sighing a little at her aunt’s unimpressed look, she decides to amend her statement. “I assure you; even though the ring is fake, the understanding we have is, in fact, very real.” 

“Why the subterfuge, then? Why play make-belief with the entire world?”

Phryne laughs and shakes her head.

“Hardly the entire world, Aunt Prudence,” she protests, her hand caressing the older woman’s hand. “Just the constabulary.”

Understanding dawns upon the great battle-axe like the new day upon the sleepy land.

“The Inspector’s reputation, I take it?” And when Phryne nods her confirmation, she continues, “But why a fake ring? What if anybody else notices?”

Phryne shrugs. “It’s a shared joke, Aunt. A fake ring for a fake engagement. And you know I hardly care for other people’s opinions; a Paste ring from Jack is worth more than any diamond.”

Her last words take her by surprise. She’s rather shocked by her own conviction, and she suspects it shows. Aunt Prudence certainly notices it, deciding to grab the fleeting chance by its scrawny neck.

“If you’re that much in love with the man, why not just marry him and save all this trouble? I don’t understand, Phryne!”

The lady detective leans over and plants a kiss on her aunt’s forehead. She’ll save the mild panic attack at that particular revelation for later.

“I know you don’t, Aunt,” she sighs fondly and smiles. “If it’s any consolation, I’m rather certain that Jack would’ve proposed if he thought I was that way inclined.”

“And are you sure you’re not…?” the older woman asks, hopefully, her hands coming to rest on Phryne’s arms.

“Pretty sure. But I’ll tell you this, Aunt P; if there was ever a man who could make me reconsider my views on marriage…” she trails off, her eyes shining mischievously. 

Aunt P heaves a long, suffering sigh and shakes her head.

“Alright, I suppose nothing I can say will change your mind. You always were a strong-headed girl… and I suppose there are worse suitors… Senior Detective Inspector has a nice ring to it, and, of course, he may one day be the Commissioner of Police! Highly respectable position - “

When both women finally return to the luncheon, and Phryne finds and rescues Jack from a group of middle-aged women who are abnormally keen on murder mysteries, he places a warm palm on the small of her back and leans over to whisper in her ear.

“What was that all about?”

Phryne smiles and catches her aunt’s shrewd look across the room, noticing a new glint in the older woman’s eyes.

“Nothing to worry about, Jack; but I think it’s safe to assume that we’ve got another person on our team.”

And when they all sit down to tea, Aunt Prudence draws herself to her full, albeit rather lacking height, and turns to Jack with great importance and pride.

“Another slice of pie, Senior Detective Inspector?” 

And the dear man smiles and offers his plate.

“Don’t mind if I do, Mrs Stanely.”

They are so damn clever, after all.

[missmentelle]

I keep hearing "if you're worried about being a bad person, you're not a bad person" and just wondering if that's true from a psychology perspective? The line of logic goes, a "real" toxic/abusive/narcissistic person wouldn't care that their actions hurt others, so if you're worrying about it, then you're definitely not one. Is that really the case though?

It’s... complicated. But no, not really. 

So, for starters, there’s no such construct as a “bad person” in psychology. Or a “good person”, for that matter. “Bad” and “good” are value judgments, and psychology tries to avoid making value judgments; we simply aim to identify and describe certain patterns of symptoms of behaviour. The fact of the matter is that everyone does things that could be considered “bad” and “good”, and no one is perfect. We have all hurt other people in our lives, both intentionally and unintentionally. It’s also important to remember that morality is not black-and-white - many, many things fall into a moral grey zone, and different people will have wildly different perspectives on what is right and wrong, and who is a “good” person or a “bad” person. A doctor or psychologist cannot tell you if you are a good person or not. That is something that you ultimately have to decide for yourself, after carefully comparing your own actions to the values that you hold. 

You are right that there are certain diagnoses that make a person much more likely to harm others in their lives without really examining their own actions too closely. People with narcissistic or anti-social personalities tend to center their own feelings, and disregard any hurt they cause others. Narcissistic people specifically think of themselves as being highly important, special, and deserving of recognition and success. They tend to enjoy being in a position of power over others, and they are comfortable manipulating and harming others for their own gain. People with anti-social tendencies and disorders, on the other hand, are easily bored and enjoy antagonizing others to get a reaction - any reaction. They are chronically irresponsible, deceitful, and uncaring, and they have no empathy for the people they hurt. If you find that you are chronically unable to feel any empathy for the people around you, or to regard their feelings in any way, that’s definitely a huge red flag that you’re probably harmful to the people around you - although of course, you won’t really care. 

Unfortunately, though, caring if you hurt people is not a guarantee that you aren’t doing it. Life and mental health are just not that simple. Many people who behave in toxic or manipulative ways toward others are anguished about it, and constantly worry about it - yet they continue to do it anyway. I think most of us have been in the awkward position of having a friend who didn’t treat us very well, possibly due to serious mental health concerns (maybe too clingy, dropping in and out of our lives without warning, flaky, not interested in our problems, overly critical, etc) who also asked for constant reassurance that they weren’t a horrible person and that you didn’t hate them. My boyfriend has an ex with untreated borderline personality disorder; she constantly, constantly agonized over the possibility that she was a “toxic person”, while doing nothing to change the fact that she was actually being extremely toxic to the people in her life. She harassed my boyfriend for more than six months after they broke up, while still continuing to make public social media posts of herself crying and talking about how she never wants to be a bad person. Although it’s fictional, another good example of this phenomenon can be found in Bojack Horseman - the main character spends the entirety of the show grappling with what it means to be a good person, while also consistently hurting the people around him. It would be nice to believe that simply worrying about hurting others is a guarantee that we don’t do it, but it’s just not that easy. 

Figuring out if you are being hurtful to the people you care about is a ongoing process that requires constant honesty with yourself, vigilance, and self-reflection. Being worried is not enough - you have to dig a lot deeper than that. For instance, you need to consider:

What does my relationship history look like? Everyone has relationships that end poorly or just don’t work out, for a wide variety of reasons. But it’s important to examine your relationships as a whole, to see if any troubling patterns emerge. When your relationships end, do you tend to just drift apart and lose contact, or do they tend to end with dramatic blow-ups? Do people tend to remain on okay terms with you after losing contact, or have you had a lot of people specifically block you and cut you out of their life? Again, everyone has had relationships go sour, but if there is a consistent pattern of people dramatically severing ties and relationships turning hostile and toxic, it’s typically a sign that there’s a problem in there that’s worth examining.

How do I react when I realize I’ve wronged someone? When you realize you have done someone wrong - either by your own realization, or by them telling you - how do you react? Do you accept responsibility and apologize, even if you think the incident was no big deal? Do you ignore the situation? Do you do something to try to make it up to them? Have you ever gotten angry or upset with someone for telling you that you hurt them? Again, fuck-ups and mistakes happen - we are human. It’s how you deal with those fuck-ups that matters. 

How were the last few arguments I’ve been in resolved? Think back to the last few times you had a serious disagreement with someone. What happened? Were you able to resolve the issue in a way that worked for both of you? Did the argument escalate? Did one person steamroller over the other? Disagreements are inevitable, but the way that we handle even the most serious difference of opinion says a lot about who we are. 

Am I generally reliable in relationships? Do you show up when you say you’re going to show up? Do you remember the things people tell you, or do you have to constantly be reminded about the basic details of other people’s lives? Do you send birthday greetings, answer texts most of the time, and make a point to be there for important events in others’ lives? Again, no one is perfect at this, but making an effort to be consistent about this stuff - and giving others a heads-up or apology when you are struggling to do it - is important. 

Have I been insensitive with others? Are you sensitive to other people’s needs? Do you generally manage to use tact when discussing delicate topics with people? Do you remember to avoid certain topics with certain people, and avoid airing people’s personal information in front of others? Nobody has perfect manners, but it’s important to make an effort to consider the comfort and feelings of others.

How do I treat people that I dislike? How you treat the people you dislike - or don’t know - is almost as important as how you treat the people you do like. Do you ever behave vindictively toward people you don’t like? Do you gossip about them? Have you ever gone out of your way to make someone’s life harder in some way because you didn’t like them? It can seem satisfying or justified to get our revenge on someone who wronged us, but this can quickly reach a point where it’s unproductive and cruel. 

Do I take no for an answer? Do friends and loved ones feel comfortable saying no to me? Do I tend to accept it when things don’t go my way, or do I tend to push and try to convince others to change their minds? Have I ever gone behind someone’s back after they’d already said no? It can be difficult to face rejection or an outcome that you don’t want, but being able to take it gracefully is important.

Obviously, this isn’t a comprehensive list of what it takes to be a “good person” to others, and you don’t have to hit every point on it all the time. We all have times where we are stressed and tired, or where we just drop the ball. Shit happens. But it’s important to keep examining ourselves in an honest way, and looking for places we can improve. Best of luck to you!Miss Mentelle

[ofmymuses]

Hello! I saw somewhere you are writing a book and I currently doing the same thing! May I ask you on some tips? I struggle with attention span, my own writing style and the pacing. How do you deal with this kind of stuff? Also with critics? I know I need it to be better but I am still super sensitive. GOOD LUCK TO YOU BTW!!!

hey  hey  !!  firstly,  i  want  to  thank  you  for  messaging  me  here  rather  than  over  on  my  indie  –   i’d  just  rather  keep  it  purely  rping  stuff  over  there  so  again,  thank  you  :~)  &�� also  thank  you  for  the  well  wishes  !!  i’m  super  excited  &  i  wish  you  the  absolute  best  with  your  book  as  well !!   ~  what’s  yours  going  to  be  about ?  if  you ( anyone  reading  this,  not  just  anon )  ever  want  dm  me  &  gush  about  our  books,  i  would  actually  love  to  :’’’)

but  onto  some  tips  …  please  keep  in  mind  that  these  are  just  what  i  do  because  i,  too,  have the  attention  span  of  an  actual  rock  DFKGHS.  if  you  ever  need  help  with  anything  else  (  regarding  story writing  or  anything  else  ),  feel  free  to  come  back  @  any  time  +  i’d  be  more  than  happy  to  help  :-)

so  …  i  don’t  think  it  really  matters  where  you  choose  to  write  your  story  –  in  any  writing  software  or  wherever –  but  i’d  suggest  writing  in  google  docs  simply  because  it  says  as  you  go  &,  knowing  from  experience,  there’s  nothing  more  heartbreaking  than  writing  for  an  hour  just  for  the  app  to  crash  +  you  lose  all  you’re  writing.

(  i’m  going  to  put  the  rest  under  a  read  more  so  i  can  write  all  my  thoughts  &  not  worry  about  it  being  super  long  – which it is, sorry about that –  &  clogging  the  dash  )

i  made  a  separate  tumblr  account  strictly  for  my  book  where  i  can  put  my  thoughts, ideas,  chapter  outlines,  character  stuff,  etc  on.  whenever  i  go  to  write  in  my  book,  i  keep  that  tumblr  signed  in  &  i  get  off  the  dash  and  only  keep  the  actual  blog  open  because  not  only  does  it  help  having  it  open  to  add  anything  important  you  may  think  of  while  writing  but  it  also  helps  keep  your  attention  off  the  dash  ‘cause  you  won’t  be  following  anyone  on  that  account  so  none  of  the  posts  will  be  your  friends  or  anything  that  really  pertains  to  you.  you’ll  also  be  able  to  follow  /  reblog  writing  help  stuff  or  just  things  that  inspire  your  book  there  without  worrying  about  “messing  up”  the  content  on  your  main  blog.

don’t  open  any  tabs  of  things  that  might  grab  your  attention  —  social  media,  youtube, game sites, etc.  it’s  super  important  to  only  keep  writing  help  tabs  up  so  you  aren’t  tempted  to visit  the  other  tabs  +  potentially  get  lost  among  them  and  lose  time.  the  tabs  i  personally  keep  open  are:  google  docs  for  writing,  spotify  ( or 8tracks )  for  inspiring  music  &  thesaurus ( or powerthesaurus )  for  help  finding  new  words.  this  is  just  me,  personally,  but  you  can  open  anything  that  you  think  will  help  you  stay  focus  &  inspired  to  write.  if  it  doesn’t  /  if  it’ll  just  be  a  distraction,  don’t  open  it.

pop  on  some  music  that  gives  off  the  vibe  of  your  story.  this  can  help  you  stay  inspired  &  get  more  in  the  zone.  what  i  always  do  is  think  of  different  games  /  books  /  shows  that  are  the  same  genre  and  look  up  playlists  for  that  other  thing.  or  you  can  directly  look  up  the  genre  of  your  book  +  writing.  so,  if  you’re  writing  a  scary  book  about  a  haunted  mansion,  you  could  look  up  “writing” + “horror”  ( or just “horror” )  &  i  guarantee  you  a  lot  of  different  options  will  come  up  to  help  you  really  get  into  that  setting. !!  BUT  !!  if  music  distracts  rather  than  inspires  &  if  you  prefer  writing  in  complete  silence,  just  ignore  this  ~  it’s  not  for  everyone.  a  bit  of  a  tip  i  do  have  for  you  though,  if  you’re  in  a  noisy  area,  is  to  put  headphones / earphones  in.  it  won’t  block  out  ALL  of  the  noise  but  it’ll  at  least  help  muffle  the  sound  around  you.

there  really  isn’t  one  set  way  to  stay  focused  ;  you  can  google  different  ways  to  keep  your  attention  on  one  thing  but  something  that  really  helps  me  is  writing  about  something  i  love  or  something  that  inspires  me  !  writing  a  story  about  a  romance  that  blossoms  when  your  true  passion  is  in  the  adventure  genre  is  a  surefire  way  of  making  it  hard  to  focus  when  writing.  no  one  likes  to  write  stuff  you  aren’t  interested  in  ~  so  don’t  do  it  !  it’s  your  book  and  no  one  can  tell  you  not  to  write  what  you  love.  just  find  a  topic  /  genre  you  really  enjoy  &  start  there.

regarding  pacing  ….  ( future edit: i  realize  i  didn’t  understand  what  type  of  pacing  you  meant ....  so  i  didn’t  really  answer  your  question  but  i  have  links  at  the  bottom  to  help  you;  sorry  about  that !!  ) let  me  tell  you  upfront  that  i  am  the  worst  when  it  comes  to  pacing  because  i  either  write  for  5  hours  straight  or  write  for  5  minutes  then  walk  away. and  that’s  okay  !  in  reality,  you  can’t  force  yourself  to  write.  this  just  leads  to  sloppiness  and  while, yes,  it’s  the  first  draft,  you’ll  be  giving  yourself  extra  things  to  do  in  the  future ( figuring out what you wanted to write  /  what  you  meant  at  the  time / editing, etc etc ).  SO  !  what  do  you  do  when  you�� don’t  feel  like  writing  ?  i’ve  been  using  this  word  a  lot  and  i  apologize  but  you  should  inspire  yourself  to  write.  i’d  suggest maybe  watch  a  movie  that’s  similar  to  your  book  or  watching  a  bit  of  a  playthrough  of  a  game  ( or  play  a  bit  of  it  yourself  if  you  have  it  )  that’s  similar  to  your  book  or  even  read  a  bit  of  a  different  book  !  you  can  also  wait  until  you  feel  the  urge  to  write  again  but  there’s  never  telling  how  long  that  could  be.  something  that  i’m  going  to  try  doing  is  making  a  schedule  for  writing  your  book.  this  can  absolutely  help  keep  you  on  track  as  well  as  making  sure  you  don’t  burn out  from writing  too  much.

when  it  comes  to  critiquing  my  stories,  i  always  show  it  to  my  mom  /  brother  /  boyfriend  /  anyone  i  trust  to  give  their  real  opinion.  i  think  it’s  important  to  get  critics  from  people  you  KNOW  will  be  honest  (  but  not  rude  or  hurtful  )  about  it.  i  do  this  throughout  writing  &  not  when  i’m  fully  finished  ~  this  is  just  because  books  can  be  very  long  &  take  a  while  for  people  to  finish  meaning  you  get  feedback  slower  than  if  you  were  to  show  your  writing  during  the  process  ??  if  that  makes  sense ?  you  can  also  send  it  to  online  friends  (  which  is  another  reason  i  love  google  docs  btw !!  you  can  so  easily  send a  viewing  link  out  )  and  get  an  opinion  from  them.

regarding  writing  style  ….  i  feel  like  this  is  a  lot  like  when  artists  find  their  art  style.  you  can  just  write  &  let  the  words  flow  or  you  could  also  read  books  from  different  authors  &  see  which  interests  you  or  you  could  even  google  different  styles  ?  you  shouldn’t  force  yourself  to  do  a  certain  style  though,  pick  one  that  flows  well  for  you  &  isn’t  stressful  to  write.

i’m  sorry  for  how  long  this  got  DFDKGHD  i  didn’t  realize  how  much  there  was  to  say  but  i  think  i  got  it  all  out.  i  hope  it  helped  you  out  even  a  little  bit  !  i’ll  leave  you  with  a  few  resources  to  further  help  you  out  :~)  like  i  said  before,  please  do  come  back  if  you  have  any  other  questions  or  if  you  want  to  tell  me  about  your  book  because  i’d  looooooove  to  hear  it  ~

8 ways to improve your focus

8 quick ways to improve your attention span

10 ways to stand out and develop a unique writing style

how to find your writing style

7 quick tips for mastering pacing in your story

pacing in writing: what is it and how to master it

how to create strong pacing for your story

[legendary-discourse]

The state of the pro-shipping/anti-anti community is a mess. Let’s be honest about that. It’s not as nice a place as some people act like it is. It’s full of levels of petty drama I haven’t seen since high school. 

I’m not speaking about any specific drama here, or any specific individuals. This is something that’s been going on for ages, around various different topics.  What we have in common is that we believe people should be free to ship what they want - fictional pairings are simply that - fictional - and don’t need to meet some level of morality for people to be allowed to enjoy or create content about them.

Apart from that, there are huge differences in what morals we have, what issues matter most to us, and what out particular views are on various discourse topics.

Whatever set of views you have probably seems like the most sensible one to you. The same is true for the next person, and the next. We all have different views but we all believe we are the one who is right. 

Objectively, who is right? Well, I don’t know. In my head, I’m right, but my opinions are not objective truth. They are simply a reflection of how I see things, based on what information I have and what experiences I have been through.

The issue is that there’s so much black and white thinking amongst the anti-antis. If someone disagrees with you on one specific topic, they are automatically the enemy and you assume they hold all these other beliefs that you are opposed to as well - often without proof.

You need to understand that there are shades of grey. In your mind, it can be hard to understand how someone could accept this one thing, but not these other things. Maybe, before now, you’ve only known people who accept all of them or reject all of them. To you, there are only those two possibilities. 

Reality is more complicated. Everyone has different opinions and different life experiences. There are probably as many viewpoints as there are people in the world, and a lot of them are going to look nonsensical to you.

The likelihood of finding someone who agrees with you entirely on every topic is incredibly slim. Within this community, there probably isn’t a single person I fully agree with. There are a few I agree with so far - but who knows what views they have on topics we haven’t talked about yet.

Having differing opinions is not a bad thing. It’s how we deal with those differences that matters. Basically, don’t be a dick to people because you disagree with them.

I’m not saying you have to ignore harmful opinions when you come across them. Engaging them in debate is good. Discuss the issue with the person. Try to understand where their views are coming from. Explain your views. Present facts. Share lived experiences. Change people’s opinions through information. 

Unfortunately, there’s not a lot of that happening. Some people are quick to cancel a person over a difference of opinion - sometimes even to make a call-out post or warn people in private messages “don’t interact with X, they’re bad”.

This should never be the first reaction. In so many instances I’ve seen, there’s a lot of misinformation or downright lies being spread. Sometimes, the information is accurate, and I appreciate knowing it so I can make my own decisions on whether I want to continue interacting with someone or not. (And I would like to emphasize that - making my own decisions. I am not going to stop interacting with a person just because you said so.)

If someone is doing a genuinely harmful thing, I want proof of it. I want the source of the information. I want links to the posts. I want screenshots. All too often, I have been told things and, upon looking into it, realized I was lied to or the wording had been twisted or taken out of context. 

I place no merit in “he said, she said”. It doesn’t matter who the information is coming from - even if it comes from a blog you really admire or someone you chat with regularly, always look for proof before believing and spreading that information on - especially if spreading it is likely to cut someone out of the community. You don’t want to push someone out over a rumor with no truth in it.

If you’re a popular blog with a lot of influence, it’s important that you in particular look into these things before reblogging a call-out post. As much as they shouldn’t, there are still going to be some people who with believe it without question, just because it was on your blog.  If you’re combating a harmful opinion by sending the person hate, or encouraging your followers to go after them, or stalking their blog to find even the slightest thing to take out of context and use it against them, then you are just being an asshole.

It’s becoming harder and harder for me to interact with people in this community. There are people whose opinions I disagree with and would personally rather not befriend. And there are people I agree with but they are so aggressive towards other people regarding those views. I don’t want to interact with them either. Interacting with one person can mean automatically being hated or blocked by someone else. 

It gets very tiring. Sometimes I wonder why I returned at all.

[cxncordia]

So, am I still in hiatus?

Sorta.

First of all, what happened?

Last night, on the gay smut server, I gave a “gossip” about a topic that came up: it was something I have heard from another friend regarding the topic. And from there on invoked a discussion about social issues in media. My big problem with these discussions of social issues in media is that they tend to turn into a “woke metric” to see which shows deserve more laurels for being more “woke”. After the discussion happened and I was online again, I mentioned my opinion. Sarcastically, sure, but an honest opinion nonetheless. Somebody else mentioned how what I said had nothing to do with the topic and then I elaborated again on it. I stood by my point on a second paragraph, mentioning that things needed to be looked at in context. I didn’t want to keep on discussing, so I went ahead and deleted those messages because, there was no real reason for them to be kept there.

After this discussion I went to get a haircut, but I noticed I could not reach one but two of the indie roleplaying servers I was inside. I thought it was an error, but still asked a friend about it.

Turns out that I was banned. 

When I came back from my haircut my friend sent me screenshots of the discussion that happened. Not only was I banned, but I was made out an exhibition and there were some other people adding in very nasty things and unfounded actions that supposedly I did. 

I was mad, so for that very reason I came back here, put everything on hiatus and took a step off. I was very close to delete because this is the last straw on a series of times that this shit happened.

But after taking a moment, reading a few books that I have on this kind of situation and taking a moment to myself, I decided that no, I was not going to take a hiatus. One, I like writing and this is something that is inherently me. Two, I have friends in here that I like to keep on touch with and people that were interested in my well being. Three, there’s a lot to be said here and I will use this space to say it.

---

I admit discussions like this aren’t that uncommon in the server and I usually have strong opinions about them. I have also differing opinions at times and I mention them. I admit not having always the best words or sometimes being very sarcastic. Maybe something gets lost in the translation when I’m not being sarcastic? (Because I think a lot of people forget that English IS my second language) Maybe it’s my way of being? It’s not the first time I’ve been called “abrasive” or “combative”. 

But it’s also something that I admit I like about being me. As a gay man growing up in a hyper macho family, inside a city that kills people for less than pennies and in a country that still repaints white over rainbow walk lines on the roads during Pride, being combative is the only way of being. Letting someone walking over you is just not an option. And while I admit this is not an excuse, there is also a lot of misjudgement here. You’re also forgetting that I come from a generation that did not have any rights whatsoever and that could not do what many can do now. Gays in my time were a plot twist, a side note, or a thing you translated as “cousins”. So yes, I’m combative. 

The server is also forgetting that many times this combative behavior has helped me and them. Or how many times my response came out of provocation. Once when dealing with a horrible troll that was taking screenshots out of our server, creating unnecessary drama and targeting another rper. And another time when I went to the admin asking him to remove a very aggressive roleplayer in the past (who took everything literally and made every single discussion about them). The first time I had to close the server because I was not going to have someone like that. The second time I was told by the admin that they were onto “doing something.” I don’t know if they did or not, but the rper left on their own hand.

Same thing when I was the admin of the server: I had to be there, settle a bunch of discussions and arguments directly with the individuals starting them, from having to face the “selfie leak” (where people were posting their nudes) and the “actor leaks” (where people were posting actors leaks) as well as facing some racist and misogynistic roleplayers. To do all that, I needed that “combative” spirit in order to get down to the bottom of things and set things on their right place for the good of everyone. So yeah, my combative behavior has helped me and has, to a degree, helped the server. 

I will admit that I’m aggressive. But I will also admit that I’m not stupid or rigid. When conversing with others and expressing their needs I’m the first one to adjust to their needs as best as I can. And that when being told that I need to correct something, I can do it (as long as within my limits, of course). And when admitting mistakes, I’m also the first one to do it. (Hence the reason to this post). That said: I think I was unjustly banned. I was not given a direct warning and I was blindsided. But I will not go down the rabbit hole of “conspiracy”, it this is true then to each their own.

The combative behavior is only half the problem and that’s on me, I will admit it. But there is also another half of the problem that needs to be addressed.

The other part is the fact that some people just don’t have the skills to call someone up on their “problematic” behavior and instead gang up together and come from behind. The other part of the problem resides in people preferring to adjust others to their experience than to take control of their own comfort (I admit that blocking someone up in discord is difficult because you only see big blocks of text, but hey, you still have control over your experience).

The other part of the problem definitely lays on the fact that the admin didn’t warn me directly at all before the ban came. The times it was done indirectly were so subtle I did not notice and that there was no reason to have been made a show after the ban. (Because also, the server is forgetting the times they “teased” me for being “old” or liking certain things. How they were aggressive and I punched back in retaliation. Are they banning these players on “lack of respect and rudeness” too?)

So with this in mind, some things need to be done:

I apologize to anyone who had a hard time because of my opinions. I admit not seeing how my words could be aggressive and how my behavior probably hurt you. On that, I acknowledge my actions and I’m sorry for hurting you. Know that it was not personal and when it was, it was probably taken privately. That said I still believe that you should do what’s best for you and take matters into creating your own positive experience (like blocking someone you don’t wanna read). I admit that it may be difficult on a place like a public discord server, and for that I apologize as well.

I apologize to anyone who was scared or that I ignored last night. I am sorry, you deserved better. I had no mind to respond to you so that’s why I was evasive. I hope you can find in yourselves to understand where I was coming from and why I did evade you.

Thirdly I apologize to Alex, the main admin of the gay server. I do not believe you did right. I do not believe you did correctly and that I was unjustly banned, but I will give you that it was better for you this way. You avoided any confrontation and any aggression by not facing me or warning me directly, so I can’t blame you for doing what you did. I apologize to you for releasing the content of our conversations. I don’t think I released anything private, but still, that was petty AF of me. At this moment, I still think this was unjust, but maybe in a month or a year I will not even look back at this opinion or give it as much weight as I’m giving it now. So for now, this “hollow” apology is probably the best I can come up with. 

That said, I am a firm believer of making my own experience as comfortable as it is for me, so:

I am now fully private, which means that I’m not taking threads from anyone that I don’t know or haven’t talked through in the past few months. I am sorry, but I don’t want to be open at this moment. 

I am taking it slow. Very slow. So I am making a slow comeback. It’s not fair to those that played with me and had no bearings in the server matter, so that’s why I’m returning. But I’m gonna go as easy as I can. 

There’s a big chance that I’m restricting myself from playing with anyone associated with that server. I know that this is my pettiness again. So, I’m going to put on hold the threads of the people that I know are in the server and ask myself of this rule in a week to see how I feel. 

I am not exposing my opinion on tons of matters and it’s very likely that I will unfollow those blogs that I know do a lot of these commentaries. I’m also unfollowing rpers who do tons of OOC posts. My problem is that I’m a very reactive individual that when reading something that is BS or simply doesn’t sit right with me, I will speak up. I realize that yeah, not everybody wants to read my opinion, but also that there’s a lot of misinformed people that I enjoy correcting. So, for both of our sakes I am doing something there.

So, lesson learned?

It’s too early to call it that. And it’s too early to call an epiphany. But know that I will keep my truth as best as I can and I will focus on cherish the people that do love me and support me.

[massielandnetwork]

Thriving in an Economic Bubble during Anarchy

4. The Christian Succession – What a fun week

A few items from the secular world this week:

1. The NFL (yes, the National Football League) announced this week it it is Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender. Does that make you “Ready for some Football”?

2. The new Miss Nevada is a transgender person. So, allow me to rephrase those judges’ decision. The most beautiful, most talented, most ideal young women in Nevada is a biological male who thinks he is a female.

Give our Lord and Savior the credit for the great awakening that is happening before our eyes. Satan is being exposed and confronted. Hallelujah. Amen. Here are just a few examples:

1. Trump held his first rally in months, had an overflow crowd in Ohio, and was watched by over 3 Million viewers on line. That viewership easily eclipsed the total number of all Bidenharris events beginning with the basement campaign last year to present. But we are supposed to be stupid enough to believe Bidenharis won the election. If you believe Bidenharris won, I have a bridge in New York City for you to buy. It used to have a lot of traffic before the Demented Marxist (DM) Mayor turned his city into a third world country equivalent.

2. I have lost count of the Americans who are black that have spoken out against the Critical Race Theory (CRT) equating it to the teachings of the Ku Klux Klan. Numerous states have outlawed it from their schools. Virginia does not have any adult legislators.

3. Did you read that the Republican candidate for Governor in Arizona has pledged to finish building their section of border wall? The rebellion is bubbling.

4. The Arizona hand count of the ballots has been completed. There are two other steps in the audit that have not been completed so it may be August before there is a report given.

5. As many as 20 other states are discussing election audits. All of the states should be audited. Every nonprofit organization has an annual audit, publicly traded companies get audited, how come it is not standard procedure to audit our elections? Where are Virginia’s Republicans? Hiding under their blankies?

6. There were even more reports of Moms becoming vocal and organized in their opposition to the Critical Race Theory and the LGBT agenda. Watch this trend. An entire generation of children are at risk because school systems are more concerned with chasing the phantom of “social justice” than with teaching math, science, and western history. I expect the Momma Bears to win this debate. A positive from the Pandemic.

Meanwhile, our “elected” officials and the media are primarily focused on a contest of words as they vie to outdo each other with cute turns of phrase, etc. Is there a new Olympic sport called Word Jousting with some umpire tracking the points earned by being more outrageous as talking heads compete with meaningless words. Most of our elected officials are champions at talking and strutting. I long for real American leadership.

There are some quite serious issues that need to be addressed. No, Climate Change is not one of them despite the media demonstrating they are universally poor with both math and science. Climate Change can be summed up with fact that the Ice Age did not end because millions of years ago some Neanderthal ancestor of mine started driving an SUV.

I am reading a great book which is a thorough analysis of Climate Change written by Steven E. Koonin called “Unsettled”. Mr. Koonin is a true expert, candid in his disdain for the media’s distortion of the facts that have been and are issued on the topic of Climate Change. It is easy to see that the media types are either clueless about science or severely slanted in their view because they never let the facts stand in the way of a good story.

While our “faux leaders” talk and strut about foolishness such as Critical Race Theory (all whites are racists) and Modern Monetary Theory (governments can borrow all the money they want without damaging that country’s economy), the Chinese have built a country with modern technology, become a mercantile state that controls a number of global industries, bought our officials, own 20 square miles of Texas adjacent to our air force base, and acquired Africa along with most of the rest of the world using their Fools Gold currency. The USA is now just a slave of China because they produce our stuff and own our government, universities, sports teams, and media.

The legacy media is full of meaningless talk devoid of fact but full of opinion and acting as if word jousting accomplishes something. As a capitalist, I find it fascinating to watch the dying so called mainstream media being replaced by new sources of information. CNN is reportedly on the block to be sold and the market will ultimately impact other enormous organizations like Facebook, Twitter, etc. Since they are controlled by China, they should move there.

Are you watching the electricity shortage in California and Texas? Highest cost and lowest reliability is the reality of an electric grid dependent on solar panels and bird slicers called windmills. Virginia better get some adults in leadership or we are going to be in the same fix as California and Texas. Brownouts are not my idea of good government.

Economic trends over the last week saw stock markets struggling to price in the announcements of The Fed about tapering Quantitative Easing (QE) and the effects on interest rates. The increased mortgage interest rates from The Demented Marxists (DMs) gaining control of our government have already slowed the housing market. The peak of this real estate cycle was this past January – February. The Fed now owns such a large percentage of the Treasury market that it is causing mixed signals in the markets. Do not be fooled, as The Fed tampers QE interest rates will rise and the economy will slow. The impact will be determined by a matrix of factors that will be impacted by the actions of The Fed. The highest probability is that this will be a brutal economic event.

About the only supply chain that is not disrupted is toilet paper. It is in surplus. Major supply chain problems are being reported in China and India due to the spread of a variant of the Wuhan Virus. The current twin negatives are the shortage of parts and the shortage of employees. The 20+ Conservative states that have cut back on the unemployment payments are recovering faster and better than the misnamed Progressive states that continue to pay folks not to work.

Totally lacking leadership, Virginia continues to pay folks not to work. Help wanted signs are everywhere. Every business head I talk with has had to cut back on their business operation because they cannot find anyone to hire. That is not hard to understand when you calculate that by not working, the “unemployed” reportedly receive $60,000 that is not taxable. These distortions are causing inflation. When supply chains get closer to demand, prices will be “sticky”, if they decline.

The current forecast is that oil will hit $100 per barrel by the end of this year. That means $4 per gallon gas. Biden destroyed our energy independence and returned the USA to being energy dependent on OPEC and Russia. Do you find it interesting that China and Russia are prospering with the DMs in control in the USA? Increased gasoline and diesel prices affect the cost of everything, another source of inflation.

Counting the one that is coming in 2022, during my career I will have been through seven recessions caused by one of the following – (1) increased energy prices, (2) interest rates being raised to combat inflation, and (3) increased taxes. The recession coming next year will be the result of a combination of all three of those forces. Get prepared…now.

170 days into the DM’s Coup, each day more details emerge regarding the fraudulent election last November. Eventually, we will know all the facts. Pray for the patriot attorney in Antrim County, Michigan who called for the Secretary of State to resign or be impeached and the election to be De-Certified. Another county in Michigan has voted to audit its election. Keep watching the Arizona Audit. The Secretary of State in Georgia decided to investigate the chain of custody of some of the mail in ballots to CYA. As the election audits spread and the terabytes of information from Mr. Dong bubble, you can smell the fear of the DMs.

A great piece of land remains The Best investment long term. Capitalism builds wealth, Marxism/Socialism consumes it in self destruction. Pray for a return to honest and audited elections in the USA. God is in control. Men make plans, but God ALWAYS wins.

“Rejoice in hope, be patient in suffering, persevere in prayer.”

(Romans 12:12) New Revised Standard Version, Oxford University Press)

Stay healthy,

Ned

July 1, 2021

Copyright Massie Land Network. All rights Reserved.

[ericlwoods]

Firstly I come in peace.

Many go grape nuts arguing about things that do not matter much. This is both generally true, but true with photography specifically also. Not always of course. Most people I meet from beginner snapper to pro photographer are typically wonderful. But comment sections are a badlands where ne’er do wells do dwell. What are the issues? Everything evidently. Canon vs. Nikon and on and on. Natural vs. Strobe. Mirrorless vs. DSLR. Sensor size. I could go on, but I am here mainly about the last 2.

But let me get a couple of things out of the way.

Though I may be swayed by emotion at times I am mostly brand agnostic. How so? I sit here struggling to think of a brand I have not owned between film and digital. Canon. Nikon. Olympus. Panasonic. Hasselblad. Mamiya. Pentax. Fujica and Fujifilm. Polaroid. Holga… And on. Ok. Got it. Leica. And that is only because they are adamant about not depreciating. One day.

I have used quite a few sensor sizes organic and digital. Mobile phone. Point and shoot. 1″. Micro 4/3. APS-C. Full frame. 6×4.5, 6×6. 6×7. 6×9. I have gone no larger in digital due again to cost. I have gone no larger with film due to sloth. Had an opportunity to pick up a vintage large format film camera, but once I got my head around what it would take to simply load the film I decided now was not the time. One day.

And we’re back.

Analog vs. Digital.

Who cares?

Why choose?

Why argue?

Mirrorless vs. DSLR?

Who cares?

Why Choose?

Why argue?

Full frame vs. Crop?

Who cares?

Why choose?

Why argue?

Here is the bottom line and the only question?

What do you like? Not forever. But today. What would you like to use? You are not stuck. There are a mess of websites willing to trade and sell new and used gear. Don’t know what you want to buy? Rent? And the most arsenal thing you can find is a local camera shop. My personal favorite is Southeastern Camera Carrboro, NC. My favorite when I was in NYC was B&H Photo Video. Worked blocks away for MetLife at 1 Penn Plaza as a Systems Analyst. Would have frequented Adorama as well, but I only found about them after migrating southward. Thank goodness for the internets.

Why do I switch brands fairly often? Simple.

It’s fun.

There is no number 2.

I do not know what you are here for, with regards to photography, but I am here for the fun. Would I love to have a photography career that takes me a cross the globe making beautiful images of beautiful people (spiritually, not concerned about aesthetically) and beautiful places (aesthetically)? Duh  Yes. Perhaps one day. But right now it is primarily a pursuit of passion not a profession for profit. A most wonderful form of therapy.

So crop topic. Psst. It is not about your sensor size. It is about you and your subject and how you choose to frame it.

My last and most recent (digital) brand change had nothing to do with sensor size. It had nothing to do with mirrorless or DSLR. So why did I change? My needs and wants changed. I had wanted the ultimate detail gatherer under ideal conditions. I had wanted as close to a medium format look and quality as I could get out of an “affordable” (sub $2K) camera body. I got what I wanted. Then my wants changed. Simply put this set up did not travel as well as I liked. Had been watching Fujifilm for a while, but their price point was a bit more dear new than I was willing to pay. But I am patient. With the march of time and new releases that has changed recently. After confirming for myself that the Fujifilm punches well above specs, size and weight I decided to make the move. So my shift this time was motivated by downsizing once again. Full frame to crop? What are you mad? Perhaps since this is the second time I have done this (the first from Sony full frame to crop Pentax. This time from Pentax full frame to crop Fujifilm) You cannot fight physics.

I am viewfinder agnostic as well. While I do appreciate a DSLR’s OVF the mirror box adds size and weight. Plus for me it is a framing tool and I do not ever recall thinking thank goodness I am using this ?VF while shooting.

While I love the inherent advantages of a larger light gathering surface, especially for portraits, larger sensor means larger image circle which necessitates larger and heavier lenses. Multiply this by a few lenses and this all can fill a camera bag and weigh down a shoulder pretty quickly.

Again it is about what you are looking for. I shot family portraits for a reunion not that long ago and I can think of few better digital tools I could have used over the full frame Pentax K-1.

Pentax K-1 w/ budget 3 light kit.

But if I am honest:

Many of these pictures will never see any format larger than online or smaller prints. For this reason with the lighting used (a budget 3 light umbrella kit) nearly any camera sensor size would have sufficed.

Full frame, schmull frame. Medium digital is beyond my means at present, but due to a lovely thing called depreciation I have and love many medium format film cameras I could only dream of in my youth. I am a friend of film having started there when my Dad showed me the ropes as a kid. If I had a scanner at the time and more rolls of film on me I would have shot them all with one of these. Here is one I took with the same set up at the same vent before running out of film.

Hasselblad 501c w/ budget 3 light kit.

Objective: Is there a difference in IQ between full frame and crop? Most definitely. Yes every single time. Is there a difference between an EVF and OVF focus speed wise? Yes, but see below.

Subjective: Is this difference significant enough to warrant carrying a larger kit for me? No. Two times around the full frame digital horn and for me there is not that large of a difference. Is the focus speed gap between EVF and OVF as big as it used to be due to technical advances? No in my opinion. Phase detect on sensor has made quite the difference.

I close with this. Real world is what matters to me. The simplest way for me to evaluate gear over time is taking the same or similar shots, obsessively aggregating cameras and lenses all by album in flickr and then compare them. The mini galleries below are side by sides of not exact matches, but similar enough photos to give me an idea of what each camera can do. What I have learned over time is that the light gathering device does not really matter. One each from my last full frame and from my current APC-C. Not scientific. I tended to shoot a lot of legacy glass on the K-1 for instance. Other than relative file size I have not given anything up IQ wise for my purposes. Shoot what you want. Try what you want or even what you did not even know you wanted and you may find yourself pleasantly surprised. Make images not snarly blog comments. Remember I come in peace. Most importantly have fun. Happy shooting.

-ELW

  I come in peace: Crop Topic Firstly I come in peace. Many go grape nuts arguing about things that do not matter much.