#honestly frustrated with myself rn

[parab0mb]

Average conversation between these three dweebs.

I don't actually know their canon heights (I think Lea is supposed to be the shortest) but Emilie being small fits the meme format better and is funnier so french gremlin she is. Also my heart tells me that Apollo is built like an actual blade of grass.

The og meme btw:

[wrongcaitlyn]

yk what just kinda frustrates me a bit? it’s that whenever someone hates on taylor swift, i need to defend her, not bc i think she can do no wrong ever, but because they always choose the wrong things to criticize.

like if someone tries to say shit abt the i hate it here 1830s lyric to me? i’m obligated to point out that uh no it’s not racist, literally look at the next fucking line, you idiot. she’s saying the exact opposite of what you’re implying. nostalgia is a mind’s trap.

and if someone tries to call her a climate terrorist, then i’m going to have to point out that yes, she uses a private plane a lot, but she’s not even in the top 30 of celebs with highest carbon emissions. if you really want to criticize a celebrity and not the huge factories/companies that are polluting the air, then focus on travis scott

but like?? you could literally choose any argument that doesn’t have to do with literal false information. or better yet, you don’t even need a reason! say you don’t vibe with her music and that is literally none of my business. good for you. enjoy whatever music you like. but don’t try and put yourself on this moral pedestal for hating on this musician who doesn’t even know you exist and let me listen to the grand theft auto lyric in peace.

[wooahaes]

Hiii!! I just wanted to check up on you. How are you feeling? Are you doing ok? I hope you are taking care of yourself and able to enjoy the holiday as much as you can. Thinking of you ❤️

hii lovely

life has kinda quieted down some? which is good and things are going okay when im not frustrated with the rest of my family (feels like im the only one whos rly... being a caretaker at all...) but im just kinda taking it one day at a time rn

ty for checking in <3 i hope u get to spend the holiday happily as well <3

[exopelagic]

sudden realisation that the thing holding my art back is that I never had an anime phase

[psychicbergara]

so some things to clarify before i say anything:

watcher is NOT deleting their videos or archiving their old stuff on youtube, it's still going to be there for everyone to watch!!

they will upload new content on there but only the season premieres of their shows

i think a lot of people are forgetting that they're still, essentially, a small company with a small group of creatives trying to make a living

all this to say-- i get that it's frustrating and upsetting for a lot of people (and honestly myself included at first bc im going through some financial stuff rn) and i do think there should be a better middle ground for those who cannot afford this, especially for people in other countries.

but i think a lot of us are forgetting that they are independent content creators who have to support their own staff and crew, give them livable wages, while also finding ways to be sustainable for the future. they are not a Corporate Streaming Site. a bigger budget with better quality shows costs money unfortunately so they had to find a solution that was better for them. and it does suck because this ostracizes a lot of their audience (seen from most of the backlash). so that's why im hoping they eventually find something for those who can't be able to pay in the future since most of their audience seems like they can't afford it. which i totally get in this economy 😭

we also don't know how much content they'll put out on the streaming site- if it's gonna be daily content, weekly, etc, it might change from their usual youtube schedule.

i'm still excited for them!! this is a huge step forward for them especially since they can control whatever they produce now vs having to be controlled by a media conglomerate. and eventually, i hope i can support them. i'll still be here bc i love them. but i get why people are upset about this, but again, please don't spread misinformation!! their old stuff is still gonna be on youtube. so let's wait and see y'all 🙏🏽

[kingkat12]

neurons (roman godfrey x reader)

WARNINGS: 18+, mentions of sex, foul language, author knows nothing about neurons lol

summary: Roman Godfrey is most certainly not the best study partner to have the night before an important test. what a shocker (not).

word count: 1,106

a/n: kingkat is BACK!! exams are fucking killing me, so when that is over, you best believe I will be back to my usual uploading schedule!! however, I scrapped this together for y'all (and also for myself because pls I need a Roman to get me through this study period). also, WARNING, I don't know anything about chemistry and neurons, I just had to think about anything other than my test rn which is in 6 hours... ENJOY<33 (also the gif is from @godfreysteel if I remember correctly, pls kick my ass if I'm wrong ouf)

"A neuron is an excitable cell that fires electric signals called action potentials across a neural network in the nervous system. They are located in the brain and..." Roman peeked up from the chemistry book with a rather offended look streaking across his face; "You're not listening to me, are you?"

Realizing I was being spoken to, I raised my head from the bed, flaunting a nervous smile. Honestly, I had nearly dozed off. "I am, I am! I swear, I was just!--"

"Listening with your eyes closed?"

Fuck. With a groan, I buried my face in the duvet I was lying on. "Look, Ro, I really appreciate your help, but I'm not going to learn this the night before the test... We should just give up,"

I knew that Roman Godfrey wasn't known for being the best at school-- however, he was the only person in my contacts who was available at midnight, and I was having the biggest case of brain fog known to man. Nothing was sticking. Seven hours and forty-six minutes until I was supposed to be seated in the auditorium at school, taking the dreaded midterm exam in chemistry, this was my only option. This test was supposed to be notoriously hard, so of course I hadn't bothered looking at it before now. Of course. 

Huffing, Roman spun around in my chair, looking both bored and frustrated. "I'm so glad I took this test last year," he muttered, just like every other senior did when this test had been mentioned over the past few weeks. "I'm aware that I can't help you with much, 'cause you didn't exactly call the designated nerd or something. But now that you've dragged my ass all across town to not sleep with me, you could at least listen?" He moved the chair closer to the bed, leaning over to poke my head. "Think of it like you're listening to an audio book, okay? My voice is nice, after all. Deep and warm, like--"

"Honey?" I chimed in, raising myself to look at him. 

Roman blinked. He looked at me like I was the biggest idiot in the world before he plainly answered; "No. Pussy," 

That was it. Having my fuck-friend teach me chemistry certainly didn't make me the brightest girl in the state. This was a bad idea; I groaned, rolling my eyes as I shifted on the bed, sitting up. "Keep going, then," I said, doing my best not to yawn. "A neuron is an... excited cell?"

Smirking, Roman shook his head-- I wondered whether this made him feel smart. He had taken this test last year and passed it, after all. It wasn't looking like I would be passing it, so did that make Roman Godfrey smarter than me...?

That was a mortifying thought.

"The neuron is an excitable cell, whatever the fuck that means," Roman pointed to the paragraph in the book. "Let me continue, maybe it'll make sense to you if I keep going?" He kicked back in the chair again, leaning his legs on my bed before he lowered his voice, getting into a rather caricatured character of a narrator; "They are located in the brain and spinal cord and help to receive and conduct impulses. Neurons communicate with other cells via synapses, which are specialized connections that commonly use minute amounts of chemical--"

I yawned. Loudly. I couldn't take it anymore.

Roman's eyes shot up from the book, wider than ever. I held my breath, ready to be told off once more for not focusing properly, yet the next words that left his lips were ones of charming amusement; "I see that this isn't making you very... excitable," 

I let out a relieved sigh. "I give up. Could we just fuck instead? That thought makes me excitable,"

Slamming the book shut, Roman grinned. "You never disappoint," he murmured. Getting up from the chair, he motioned for me to lay down again; he didn't waste any time making his way between my legs, pressing soft kisses to my thighs. His words were interrupted with every kiss; "If you don't pass the test-- I'll pay someone to-- tweak your scores. Don't-- worry about it."

My breath hitched as I smiled up at the ceiling. "Why didn't you say that-- fuck, earlier?" I squirmed beneath Roman as he pushed the soft pillows of his lips to my clothed sex, humming. Every kiss, every touch, felt electrocuting; I wondered whether the neurons in my body had anything to do with these bodily reactions. Did they? I had no idea, and I realized I wasn't going to know at the end of the night either. 

"Because," Roman said, a hint of a laugh in his voice as he kissed his way up my body, listening to my nervous giggles of pleasure. "I like feeling-- helpful. No one has ever-- asked me to--" His kisses were getting wetter, more eager; "--revise anything-- with them."

My hands went to his hair, tugging at the tips of his soft, brown locks. "Makes sense," Of course. Who in their right mind would call Roman Godfrey to help them practice for a test? I knew that the only thing on his mind was pussy and... pussy. Along with all the other things about the female body that made him excitable, certainly. 

Roman pressed teasing kisses to my neck, wrapping his arms around my tired body. "Are you gonna call me the next time you have a test?" he purred.

"Um... Depends,"

"On what?"

"On whether I'm planning on taking it seriously," I gave Roman's hair another tug, hoping he'd kiss me properly soon. "If it's a life or death thing, you're probably not gonna get involved. However, if it's another chemistry test..." 

Hovering above me now, Roman nudged my nose with his as he smiled against my lips. "I see where you're going with this, I'll take it. But let me redeem myself, okay?"

"Uh... how?" An impossible task.

"I'll teach you the one thing I actually remember," he breathed. Judging by how quickly his smile turned into a smirk, I could almost foresee the next thing coming from his mouth; "The neurons are connected to the nervous system, so they're responsible for making you feel this." 

Roman's lips pressed against mine for the briefest moment-- it was so gentle, so tentative, that for a second, I thought I had simply imagined it. This wasn't usually how he kissed me. This was different. This was gentle, sincere. My breath felt stuck in my chest as my fist in his hair faltered, feeling as though my body was on fire. 

Fucking neurons, giving me hope that I could both pass the test and have Roman Godfrey for myself. 

(thank u to Wikipedia LMAOOO I would go on and refer to the article like I've been taught but I'm SALTY so no<3 mwah)

[genericpuff]

AAAHHHH????

after weeks of grappling with the potential reality of calling the stupid same-day self-referral clinic at 7 in the morning, a kind stranger who happened to be at the shop today pointed me in the direction of a separate clinic that has nurse practitioners on site for gender-affirming care and don't require that early morning phone queue bullshit

i found out after stopping in that APPARENTLY that nurse practitioner has already left and started their own practice, BUT i was still able to get in touch with them and book an appointment with them almost immediately!

due to it being handled as a private practice, that means it's an expense that's gonna be coming out of my own pocket (I'll see it again come tax season lmao), and there's a lot other steps i gotta go thru before HRT is on the table, but hot DAMN this feels like such a crazy step forward that's left me feeling all kinds of mixed emotions, of relief, of terror, of exhaustion and frustration that it took me this long to finally pull the trigger - but most of all, joy and excitement over something that I had convinced myself for a while I "didn't need" or "could live without". Now that it's actually a real, tangible option that I'm able to make steps towards, I'm feeling euphoria and happiness that I haven't felt in a long, long time.

And honestly, getting this excited over just the assessment appointment already feels vastly reassuring, not only that my ADHD meds are working because you bet your ass early 2024 me couldn't have done this shit LOL but also that my fear and doubts were never true, that I was never "faking it", and most of all, that the version of me who I see in my dreams is out there - he just needs to be found and welcomed back home.

It's a long road ahead, but the first step is already complete - it's all forward from here <3

(now excuse me while i go jump over a parking meter sksksksks i'm so full of hype rn fr)

[cloudsrust]

Still 36 days to go and I don't think I ever got light-headed because of my excitement for a tv serie coming out (especially for a 2nd season),,

I was right in predicting I wasn't going to survive the wait :,>

Yeah I just watched the trailer for Good Omens 2 at least 5 times now. I'm unwell and I'm about to combust.

I'm not gonna survive these 50(?) days, nope. Just nope.

[coichii]

22:43 - HYUNJIN

pairing - nerd!bf!hyunjin ♥︎ fem!reader

genre: angst, comfort & college AU

word count: 0.7k

warnings: negative self talk & swearing like once

A/N : this is very self indulgent bc 2 weeks in and math is already eating my ass ! also I’m sorry if this sounds rushed 🙏🏾 like I said math is beating me rn

“Ok, then after that you carry the x and combine the common factors.” He says, but to be honest, it all sounds like gibberish to you.

Math is the hardest subject to master in your eyes. All those formulas and variables go in one ear and out the other.

Hyunjin, being the incredibly smart and sweet boyfriend he is, kindly offered to help you. Of course you gladly accepted his help, but it would be a lie say you weren’t 5 seconds away from crying.

You groan, throwing your head down on your hands. You couldn’t understand a thing. The feeling of inferiority and stupidity were wracking your brain.

“Im so stupid, why can’t I understand this.” and more self deprecating thoughts were going through your mind. You hadn’t even realized that you had started crying, or that hyunjin was trying to get your attention.

“Y/n, what’s wrong?!” You hear his voice cut through your thoughts. He looks at you, obviously panicked from your sudden outburst. “I- I don’t know, i’m just s-so-“ You can't finish before a fresh set of tears and choked sobs are coming from your body.

Immediately he’s moving to hold you in his arms, stroking your lower back as you continue to cry. Quiet praises and hushes come out of his mouth, small kisses being placed to either side of your face.

It takes you a while to get yourself together again, choked sobs turning into small hiccups. You look up at hyunjin, a small, warm smile plastered on his lips.

“Can you tell me what happened, my love?” His voice sounds gentle, slighting healing the current tears in your heart. “I don’t k-know i think I got a little frustrated” You lie. You didn’t want to tell everything about how you were feeling to him.

It’s not that you didn’t trust him, you just didn’t want to be so vulnerable. However, he obviously caught this.

“You’re more than a little frustrated. Tell me what’s wrong so I can help you baby, that’s all I want to do for you.” The way he says it and looks, has all your walls opening immediately.

“I’ve just been so stressed. I can’t keep up hyune i can’t. I can’t stop myself from comparing me to my classmates. They’re so much better than i am. They don’t cry under the littlest bit of pressure, and they certainly aren’t crying over fucking calculous. I just.. don’t know what to do anymore.” You trail off at the end, heat rushing to your cheeks in embarrassment, even more so from his lack of response. You’re about to apologize for ranting before his voice cuts yours off.

“Oh Y/n, i wish you could see your self through my eyes.” He starts, eyes warm. “You really don’t know how absolutely intelligent you are. You got into this amazing school, your writing is so beautiful it brings me to tears, the way you explain your work is so incredible, and so much more. You are the smartest person I know baby, don’t compare yourself to anyone else you hear me. Not understanding something doesn’t and will never ever make you dumb.”

All you can do is hug and kiss him. The thoughts of inferiority don’t disappear, but they are definitely drowned out by the love of your life’s words.

You pull away, flashing him a bright smile, which he gladly reciprocates. “Now, why don’t you say we take a break and watch some spirited away, hmm?”

“But love, we still have all this left to finish.” You frown. You don’t want to pull him away from his own work just for you. “It’s okay, I honestly think I could use the break too.”

You sigh as you agree, his puppy eyes he starting staring at you becoming to much to handle.

As you get up, packing away your belongings, you can’t help but to think just how lucky you got to have a boyfriend as smart, loving, and caring as him.

back to masterlist

[snapscube]

In Dawntrail did you enjoy a different character playing the main role, or do you prefer when the player character is leading the narrative?

this is definitely a major point of contention in the fanbase rn and i can generally see valid feelings/criticism on both ends of the spectrum. i myself do fall somewhere in between the most extreme takes on this. i won't go into too much detail about actual events but ill tag this as spoilers anyway just in case. ok so my thoughts are:

firstly, i like Wuk Lamat a lot. i don't think she deserves even half of the pure unfiltered ire that she is receiving from a large subset of the community rn. the amount of people who have already turned being a wuk lamat hater into an advertised personality trait really frustrates me. i really enjoyed seeing her personal journey through the story and i was overall very satisfied by her inclusion. however, i do not think the story was perfectly paced or balanced, and i definitely do understand where people are coming from when they say that they could have used a little less of her in the forefront. honestly it did kind of ultimately disappoint me that we missed out on a lot of potential interaction/development with someone like Krile, who in spite of being promised a big breakout role in this expansion still somewhat felt like a SLIGHT (i have to stress slight) afterthought. she did get some notable moments of development and emotion, but i feel like there could have been more.

okay but, your question is about our role as a player in the narrative. i hold the opinion that for THIS EXPANSION SPECIFICALLY, the warrior of light taking somewhat of a narrative backseat actually made a ton of sense and fit the themes of the narrative as well as the promise of a somewhat breezy summer vacation for our heroes. now, i will say this: i really do not agree with the idea that the WoL should be in a mentor role indefinitely because our story is done developing and we need to give the spotlight to "the next generation" of heroes in the world. i appreciate the SENTIMENT of this, but like for me personally.... i don't want Pella's story to be done, yknow? i definitely would be disappointed if this was the DE FACTO role she played in every expansion past this. but i don't even think that is factually what's going to happen. we're currently in a setup phase! and, again, bringing it back to this narrative and the themes within, a lot of Dawntrail about the experience of entering unfamiliar places and learning about the customs and the traditions of people already within it to best help them without unwelcomely trampling on their culture in the process. i think a story like that is the PERFECT time for the WoL to take a bit of a backseat. wuk lamat is also somewhat unfamilar like us yes, but Tural is still her home and she is about to be tasked with leading it. i feel like centering our character in that equation would feel.... really disingenuous? it was kinda frustrating sometimes when it felt like hey.... there's a situation happening right now that can be solved by skilled combat and you have a literally god killer standing right here doing a frown emote, but at a certain point i could chalk it up to growing pains or necessary suspension of disbelief in the interest of the overall emotional hook of the narrative. a lot of those moments could be explained away with enough thought about the character motivations and culture at play, though sometimes it does feel like a stretch. again, far from a perfectly written MSQ. it starts slow and it's messy and it throws a LOT of stuff at you that doesn't always pay off like you expect or want. but i dunno! i think we're gonna see some really interesting stuff come to the forefront in the future, and i think especially now knowing that much of the playerbase thought we took TOO much of a backseat here CS3 will probably adjust their focus accordingly next time. so i can't be too upset really about the stuff i wasn't into. the rest of it was great imo!

[foolsocracy]

going to be so annoying in anon right now bc im ashamed of my nerdiness. /j or whatever. so uh, hi! been obsessed with your noir stuff for probably over a year now and i finallt finished reading the comics- yes ik. it took me a while. motivation and all that jazz.

i feel like i have his personality down (i want to write for him- fic or just essay shit or rp, idk— and also just want to get him.) but honestly personality is such a difficult thinf for me to get beyond pure vibes. my general consensus is obviously the anger issues and passion, obsessive tendencies, and care and love that peter often has to balance with his “i cant let myself be close to people because theyre gonna die” vibes and him trying to convince himself and others hes a lone wolf.

im tied up a lot with him masking- because its canon (beyond the pun, even), like when he says he practiced lines and the like. its heavily implied (if not outright said, my memory is spotty and im running off no sleep rn lol, sorry if im wrong) that a lot of his behaviors as the spider-man are based off him trying to be adult like and forcinf himself to grow up and out of a lot of the softness that he’s even shown to have in the beginning of vol1. and while i do think the bitterness and anger and the like are genuine parts of his personality, they also lowkey come from him putting on airs to repress a lot of the fear and hurt and loss he’s suffered… idk. and like, he is noir in and out of the mask (at least after everything in ewoaf) but hes still… that identity he has… its jaded and hurt and repressed and lowkey masking to some degree, still. idk!!! all my opinion, but i’m finding it very hard to balance the aspects of his personality and what is just him and what is airs he’s putting on.

anyway, sorry for the ramble!! basically, tldr; what are your thoughts on peter’s personality, like how you would describe it ig, with and without the mask?

It’s been so long since I’ve flexed these muscles. Let’s get into it. And also im not the best at completely discerning and writing out personalities either but if we all come together I think we could do it. Socratic seminar style

Okay first off I agree w everything you’ve said already. And honestly there’s nothing wrong with working off vibes!! Vibes are a solid foundation and flexible enough to account for the irrational, impulsive teenager that Pete can be.

The anger issues are a give in not just for this Pete but any Peter Parker really. But the world and life that Pete has found himself in are so cruel and taxing and unfair that it’s dialed all the way up to 11. So much of that has to do with agency as a young person in a corrupt city. Even without all the noir 30s shit, being young is hard and frustrating because of the lack of control over yourself and your situation. It’s like when you’re restrained and your body kinda buzzes until you can explode and get yourself out. It’s like that but.. personality wise? And also just like the simple state of the body in the 30s and how that affects mood and disposition. Exhausted, cold, hungry—-and then after the bite, alien, dangerous, othering.

I think this ties into his passion and obsessive tendencies too. He needs to do something. Everyday either feels stagnant or worse so he locks in on this drive to change anything. This is also totally helped by the fact that he was raised by Aunt May and Uncle Ben, who are incredibly incredibly driven and outspoken, so much so that Ben was killed for it. And I like to think that he’s kicked it into high gear to keep Ben alive in a sense. He’s trying to keep up with what he thinks Ben would have believed. Which of course, he doesn’t always understand…

Peter is, for all intents and purposes, explicitly said to be naive by Urich. Issue 1, Urich is already like damn this kid is going to burn himself out because he doesn’t know any better. And he’s not wrong! But I think his naivety goes even deeper than that, where he’s even just not completely comprehending what Uncle Ben stood for. I think this is most notable in his choice of costume—or should I say uniform (and also the Frankenstein stuff but that’s way too much to explain for this)?

He’s literally dressed in his uncle’s WWI helmet, trench, and is using his gun. The uniform that was hidden away in a trunk, I think? There’s a lot that can be said about him dressing himself in wartime gear, but that’s for another time. But WWI, that was famously so violent and unprecedented and horrifying, that had soldiers coming home with awful PTSD? And not to mention that socialists don’t like war? Come on Pete, there are connections your neurons need be synapsing here. It’s such a teenager thing for him to do. Here’s why MY fight is good, and the other ones are bad. And that’s another thing—-the kid is righteous in a way that boarders (or completely bleeds into, depending on the situation) haughtiness. One of my personal favorite ways to portray this lack of awareness is to make all his feelings psychosomatic. Can’t reflect if you’re just feeling it instead of thinking!

And you mention that he’s the spider in and out of the mask, which I also agree with. That’s why he’s so infuriating to figure out cause it’s like where does the kid stop and the vigilante begin, but I think that’s a lot of what makes up who he is. But yeah, where he mentions he practices lines to make himself come off as more intimidating, more grown, shows that there is some differences in how he portrays himself, but it’s not necessarily the case that his personality is different. The moment that really exemplifies is this when he says a cool line, it doesn’t get him into that speakeasy, and he thinks ‘that usually works in the movies.’ COME ONNN that’s a kid under there! He’s playing at what he thinks an adult is.

This idea of him sort of putting on a show of what he thinks is grown would be where the Felicia relationship could have fit if anyone had bothered to treat it with the gravity it needed to be handled with. The first time Felicia makes a move he’s visibly uncomfortable, but this kind of relationship continues and he appears to be a more willing participant because this is what adults do. It’s fucked up but it’s noir and everything’s shitty. There’s narrative purpose to it.

I think for balancing his disposition in and out of the mask, a big player is how consciously he’s putting up a front. There is totally a level of subconscious repression just day-to-day because of the horrifying things he’s witnessed. It’s not safe to be vulnerable. And we know there’s something under all that anger! He loves physics, he wants to go to college, he can joke and laugh with Robbie, we’ve seen him get comfortable and smile around Urich. It’s just that anger is his emotional outlet. It’s an appropriate emotion to portray that won’t make him any more vulnerable than he already is. He cares so deeply about people and his community and it infuriates him that everyone is living the way they are—uncertain and despairing and powerless. These are constants in and out of the mask. It’s just that adding the mask means he is now trying to put on a persona, in a way. A kinda shitty one, until post ewaf where he’s just crushed emotionally. There’s a progression on how dependent he allows himself to be over the course of the two volumes, but talking about that’s just gonna make this reply even longer lol

Okay this is such a long winded ramble and now that im here im not even sure I hit every point you brought up. But that’s okay because this can be an open conversation 💪

I hope this is somewhat helpful? I get kinda nervous writing this out in case it seems like it isn’t true to canon LMAO. I spend so much time thinking about him w personal head canons and way-too-deep blink-and-you-miss-it analysis that im not sure how much I diverge from the comics LOLL

[scarlett-or-wtv]

Missed you,

A Christopher Sturniolo Fanfiction

ex!Chris x Reader

Warnings: no use of y/n, smut, ex boyfriend, pet names (baby, princess, mama, good girl, baby girl), oral (fem), p in v, alcohol, semi rough, soft!dom!Chris, begging, creampie, no protection, spanking, praise, party

Summary: You see your ex Chris at a party and try to ignore him…but that doesn’t work out so well.

A/N: is this short? Medium? Idk. Basically just wrote this cause i was bored and had an idea. Enjoy! P.S im so fucking hungry rn chat 😢

I arrived at the party around 8pm. I honestly didn’t want to go at all but my friends invited me and I had nothing better to do. My eyes fell on him immediately as I walked in. Even the sight of him is fucking annoying. Why does he have to be everywhere?

I hate him. Truly. Through and through. So why was him talking to some cheerleader pissing me off? Honestly, no idea.

The girl was blonde anyways. He doesnt like blondes. She meant nothing. Just a distraction from the overwhelming scenery.

Avoiding him was on the top of my bucket list. I went to the kitchen to pour myself a drink, trying to forget about his existence as a whole.

“I thought that was you.” His voice sent a shiver down my body. I clenched my eyes shut in frustration before turning to him.

“Half the school is here. Why wouldn’t I be?” I stated bluntly taking another sip of my drink while observing the atmosphere around me.

“Because you hate parties.” He said knowingly. Why does he have to know things?

“People change.” I said with a shrug, still not meeting his piercing gaze. He didn’t say anything. The silence suddenly started to annoy me. “Is there something you want?” I ask.

“I miss you.” He said looking over my face. He always seemed to observe every detail.

“No you don’t.” I said with a glare.

He suddenly stepped closer, tilting my chin up as he caressed my jaw with his thumb. “I do.” He said again.

“I don’t believe you.” I whispered.

He suddenly leaned forward and ghosted his lips over mine, asking for permission. I hate you Christopher.

I nodded, giving him permission to kiss me. He pressed his lips into mine so gently, so perfectly. My hands went around the back of his neck and into his hair, pushing him impossibly closer.

When the kiss broke he leaned his forehead against mine. “Do you believe me now?” He asked, his voice almost a whisper.

“I don’t know.” I said honestly, avoiding his gaze again as I looked down.

“Tell me what I need to do.” He said desperately. His hand rubbed circles on my thigh.

“Can you take me home?” I asked, finally meeting his eyes.

“Of course, baby.” He said lifting me up from the counter and placing me back on my feet.

He walked behind me with his hand on my hip as we navigated through the crowd and outside. He took his keys out of the pocket of his sweatpants and clicked the unlock button.

I was about to open the passenger door when he stopped me and opened it for me. He always insisted on doing that.

I settled into the passenger seat and looked out the window as he started the car. The only sounds heard were the hum of the car and the quiet music playing over the radio.

He eventually pulled into my driveway, the car coming to a stop. I looked at my house, lost in thought for a moment.

“You wanna come in?” I asked turning to him.

“Thought you’d never ask.” He said getting out of the car and running to my side to open my door.

I giggle at his antics. “You’re so stupid.”

“You love me.” He said with a playful smirk.

I rolled my eyes. “We’re going through my window. Mom’s home.” I explained.

He nodded and started leading me around the back of the house. He opened my window and let me climb in first before following after me.

I sat down on my bed as he looked around my room. I watched him as he inspected every detail. “Why are you acting like you’ve never been in here?” I asked with a giggle.

“Im usually focused on you when im here.” He said stepping forward to stand above me. I tilted my head up to look at him. “So pretty.” He muttered running his thumb over my bottom lip. My cheeks flushed at his actions.

“C-Chris..” I stuttered out. He looked from my lips to my eyes letting out a questioning hum. “Can we..? Please?” I asked hesitantly.

“Can we what baby? Tell me what you want.” He said, his voice dripping with seductiveness. His tumb moved from my lip to my cheek as he caressed my face.

“Please just fuck me.” I breathed out. My head tilted into his touch involuntarily.

“So needy.” He said gently pushing me back into the bed. He crawled over me, kissing my neck and collarbones. His trained hands worked on the button of my jeans, never lifting his mouth from my neck.

I gasped as he yanked my pants down. I felt him smirk against my skin. He finally stood up, grabbing the hem of my shirt.

“This has to go baby.” He said looking down at me. I nodded before pulling it over my head, leaving me in my bra and panties. He trailed his hands over my curves. “So beautiful.” He breathed.

He pulled his shirt off before grabbing my legs and dragging me to the edge of the bed. He got down onto his knees and trailed kisses over my thighs. I whimpered in anticipation.

“You’re so desperate. How cute.” He chuckled against my skin as his mouth trailed painfully slow to where I needed it most. I gasp as he kisses my clit through the cloth of my panties.

“Please..stop teasing.” I whined in frustration, trying to push myself into his face. He grabbed my thighs and held me in place.

“Behave or I wont give you what you want.” He said sternly. I nodded in agreement, only because I was so desperate for any sort of touch from him. He kissed my thigh again then moved further up to take the hem of my panties in his teeth before tugging them down. I reached behind my back and unclasped my bra, tossing it onto the floor.

His tongue flicked over my clit making me arch my back with a throaty moan.

“I’ve barely even touched you, baby.” He chuckled. “You’re so sensitive.” He teased before licking a stripe between my folds. I high pitched moan fell from my lips as he licked figure eights over my clit.

“Shhhhh” He hushed. “You’re gonna wake up your mom, princess.” I nodded and bit my lip in attempt to keep my moans in. He continued the movement of his tongue, every lick building onto the pressure in my abdomen.

“Chris..need to- please.” My words came out in mixed rambles as my mind went blank. His nose grazed my clit with every lick. My legs shook as the band in my abdomen threatened to snap at any moment.

“Cum in my mouth, baby.” He purred as his movements sped up. My back arched and my eyes rolled as I struggled to stay quiet. My hand gripped desperately onto his hair as my orgasm washed over me.

I looked down at him, he lifted his head to meet my gaze, chin and lips soaked with my juices. My body continued to quiver with the intensity of my orgasm. “You’re so fucking good at that.”

“I know.” He said with a smirk. He stood up, the bulge in his pants unmistakable. “Hands and knees. Now.” He commanded as he worked on his belt. I obeyed him without question and got onto my hands and knees, ass to him. “Such a good girl.” He praised, massaging my ass with his hands.

I whined as I felt him press his tip against my entrance. “This what you want, mama?” He coo’ed. I nodded, he suddenly slapped my ass. “Words, baby girl. Wanna hear you say it.” He muttered.

“I want you inside me. Please.” I moan out my words, my ass stinging from his harsh smack. He groans at my words before pushing into me slowly.

“Fuck….such a perfect pussy..so fuckin’ tight.” He moaned leaning forward to cover my mouth with his right hand, his right gripped tightly to my hip. He thrusted into me fast, giving me no time to adjust.

I moaned into his hand as my eyes started to water. His tip slammed against my cervix with each thrust, the pain was so pleasurable. He leaned down to whisper in my ear.

“You feel that, baby? Feel how deep I am?” His words were punctuated by a groan. I nodded due to my inability to speak. “Gonna cum so deep inside you princess.” He muttered into my ear, making me moan into his hand.

My legs shook again as another orgasm threatened to rip out of me. His tip rubbed against my g-spot triggering my release. I screamed out a moan that was muffled into his hand. I felt him twitch inside me, meaning he was close.

He thrusted for the last time, slamming into my cervix as he painted my walls white. He let out a groan of relief before standing up and pulling out. I whimpered as he slipped out of me.

“You did so good for me. Took me so fuckin’ well, mama.” He praised as he pulled his boxers back on. I turned over and laid on my back panting heavily. He picked up my panties and tossed them at me.

“Thank you.” I said grabbing them before sitting up and sliding them up my legs. He laid back onto the bed. I laid next to him resting my head on his chest. “Missed you.” I murmured.

He smiled. “I missed you too, baby.” He whispered before kissing my forehead. We stayed there for awhile before it got really late and he had to go home. He put his clothes on and I put on a hoodie. He climbed out of the window before starting to leave. “Chris.” I called out to him leaning out of the window.

“Hm?” He hummed walking back to my window. I leaned in and kissed him. He kissed me back, his tongue exploring my mouth. I pulled back, my fingers running through his hair. I rested my forehead against his. “I love you.” I whispered.

He chuckled. “I love you too, baby.” He said with a smile.

A/N: do yall fw this or what. Lmk.

Click here to find my masterlist☆

[qoldenskies]

Oh PLEASE post it! Almost every time I see an au or a fic that diverges significantly from canon that I like, I Always think about what the canon reactions to that universe would be and I've had Many thoughts about the cc universe crossover, a lot because there are so many points in time that would change what the crossover would look like

Because you could do it in cl or cw. But I myself do have this concept in my head for a crossover that happens in the middle of cl, where canon Donnie sends the others to the cc dimension. Maybe even During the closet thing. At first they don't find it Super suspicious that the other Donnie doesn't really seem to be... Around at all? Because they don't really know how cdonnie set this up, maybe he's somehow in contact with ccdonnie and that's how they made connections between these two dimensions in particular and they're both managing the situation behind the scenes.

Leo does express his old reliable gut instinct that something is wrong but Raph's just like "there's carbon copies of us standing in front of us. It's Gonna feel a bit weird"

So they all split off and compare notes. I feel like ccMikey would have the least to say about it but if Donnie did come up he'd be like "yeah Donnie's just been so... DONNIE lately. You know how it is" and cMikey would think that just means he's been like... Not taking breaks and stuff. They basically have two different conversations about it without realizing.

CcRaph would probably mention how disappointed he is in Donnie, that he hasn't been being a team player, especially lately and like cRaph gets that frustration

Then Leo's over here, the ccLeo makes an annoyed comment about that time Donnie "stole medicine" and cLeo's like "... For his experiments? For his experiments right? Haha yeah he should be doing that haha..." ccLeo's like "nah he threw up or some shit." And that has cLeo over here like °<°

Cut to him rushing over to his brothers like "you guys I was right! Something is DEEPLY FUCKED"

But there are Several avenues this could go and I would Love to see what you've come up with for it! And honestly I haven't even considered Donnie being the one to switch places. Foaming at the mouth rn. I Love canon crossovers!

THIS IS ACTUALLY A REALLY COOL CONCEPT i shouldve thought of it ,,,, the comic im nearly done with is post-movie but your enthusiasm is heard frrr here's a preview

cc!leo my beloved mess

[shorthaltsjester]

the cast knows that bells hells suck so bad they came out the gates swinging in defense and it just makes them look worse. imagine saying to fans "as we filmed our show, especially the finale, we were actively aware it was bad but we chose to do it anyway". instantly i was like why should i watch another campaign knowing that the people making it are happy to hit send on a bad product?

while I definitely sympathize with this response, I actually don’t have a real problem with the cast deciding to favour their feelings/desires around the game they play in principle, I just also don’t think the way they favoured those is conducive to a strongly told story. (in general, I have extreme criticisms of the escapist/avoidant nature of many people’s claims about ‘comfort media’, especially when it comes to wanting a cozy and distant place in a game in the face of a distressing political climate, given that every game is inextricably linked to their placement in the real world but that’s a whole other can of worms that’s tangentially related and which I am quite literally writing a thesis on rn but Anyway). obviously it’s anyone’s prerogative whether they continue with cr, so i completely respect and support the choice not to continue with their stories if c3 was a blow to your trust in the storytellers, that makes extreme sense to me.

that said, my position on it is that c3 is disappointing but it’s the outlier not the exemplar, and given the recent news that the next exandria dm will be sam (not because I think Matt is bad by any measure, but he’s explicitly state show exhausted he is and tragically passion is not enough to tell a strong story when you’re chronically running on low fuel), and other production choices they’ve been making that seem better suited for stronger storytelling than some of the ones they made during c3, I’m pretty sold on seeing where they take the next story. especially since the disappointment i felt at the abandonment of very typical storytelling conventions that cr has previously been good at maintaining (e.g., consequences for the central agents of the story — pcs in this case — and not just the World At Large) was immediately eclipsed by the enjoyment and narrative satisfaction of a story like divergence.

also, obviously feel your feelings and express them as needed anon, but since you’re in my inbox, I will just point out that “as we filmed our show, especially the finale, we were actively aware it was bad but we chose to do it anyway” is not something anyone said or even really implied. that’s honestly one of my main issues, if the cast said “we were aware it was bad storytelling but it was fulfilling gameplay/conclusions for us” i’d honestly respect that! i’d find it frustrating but it’s in line with their frequent emphasis that this is for them before anyone else. what they’re saying instead is “this is for us, so sometimes enjoyment at the table overrides conveying a coherent and consistent story” while also trying to maintain “we’ve actually told a story that’s as strong as previous campaigns and the complains from fans are just repeating the same complaints as always.” which. is patently false (while there are some ‘critiques’ that are the same in terms of ‘but my blorbo didn’t get to xyz’, most of the Actual criticism of c3 is based on the things c1 and/or c2 succeeded at and demonstrated the the players ability to convey a strong narrative through dnd mechanics and gameplay) and also very much a have your cake and eat it too situation. anyway, again: very fair to be disappointed and i’d be lying if I said i wasn’t myself in some ways, but you can express disappointment without using a strawman

[exopelagic]

girl help I just wanna read pokemon fic but I have to do a mock exam :(

help I just wanna play splatoon but I have to revise :(

[sarascamander]

Ranking Parabatai! (bc I'm bored.) (Ps: this is just my opinion you don't need to share it).

1. Will and Jem

Come on, were you really expecting someone else? They are the hardest Parabatai to ever parabatai. They set THE standard. Honestly, their friendship ALWAYS makes my cry cause where the hell else can I find THAT level of devotion and pure love? Literally, even in other books, no other besties (or yk, a bit more than bestie *wink, wink*) can EVER top them in my mind. Pure, unadulterated love. And it's their friendships that made me don't mind the love triangle in the trilogy BC otherwise I can't stand love triangle (but is herongraystairs even a love triangle at this point? They're so in love with each other). Okay cutting off myself before I ramble too much.

2. Matthew and James

IM SO WEAK FOR THEM. THEY ARE MY POOKIE PATOOTIE. Again, such softness, unadulterated love and devotion they have for each other. They are like the less tragic version of Heronstairs. BUT THEY COULDN'T COMMUNICATE FOR SHIT. And that frustrates me a lot, actually because it felt like there is emotional distance between them with all these secrets or feelings they've been harbouring and not to mention that stupid love triangle 😭. I couldn't remember much from their trilogy but I do remember like Cordelia running to Paris with Matthew and I was like FUCK.

So yeah they frustrate me a lot but their love is still so strong and they love each other so damn much!!!!!!! I just wish there were less drama and more of them trying to help each other out on the things they've been through (this sounds vague bc again, I can't remember much of the trilogy).

3. Julian and Emma

Should I even count them here tho lmao. BUT they were Parabatai for a long time so it counts, okay. Emma and Jules are basically parents to the Blackthorns you can't argue with me, they've been co-parenting for years. They know each other so well and they even have fucking cute silent communication thing going on. And when they fell in love?? Good for them! I think every Parabatai should try this actually (but yk, without the whole risk of dying and everything).

I think when I read their Parabatai ceremony in Simon's book (the academy of something, I'm sorry it's been so long okay 😭), I cried. They were so little at that time but so utterly devoted to one another. They deserve the world.

4. Alec and Jace

When I first read the series i didn't really get their bromance ngl. I think maybe that's just me not understanding the concept of Parabatai yet or something but I don't think Jace and Alec even like each other that much (and I want to stress again it's been literal years since I read so maybe it's just me being disconnected from the series for so long) but this is how I feel about them rn.

But as the series progresses they grow on me a lot. But still, I think I love them as brothers more than as Parabatai. Like those scenes with the Lightwood all together and claiming things like "he's my brother" and shit. I ate it up EVERY TIME. I just love their family relationship because they'd be like "oh he is adopted fucked up asshole" about each other but in the same breath just defend and love each other so much if that makes sense. I still love them but I totally see them more as brothers than Parabatai.

5. Clary and Simon

I am very neutral about this because I don't mind that they became Parabatai but I just don't care either. I don't think it brings any more depth to their relationship since they're already besties. Actually, when I read about them becoming Parabatai in Simon's book, my first thought was "was this necessary?" But not in a hating way, just in a thought. I feel like not every bestie should be Parabatai but you do you I guess. If they're happy about it I don't care much.

6. Lucie and Cordelia

(again tlh is like a fever dream for me so I don't remember much) but I just can't see them as Parabatai. I DON'T want them to be Parabatai for some freaking reason.

Make no mistake, I ADORE their friendship, I've always wanted a relationship like theirs especially since it's going on strong even in long distance but again, like Simon and Clary, I just don't think every bestie needs to be Parabatai. I remember them postponing their ceremony and just crossing my fingers that they changed their mind. I just think, again the same problem with Jamie and Matthew, they don't communicate well. There are so many secrets between them that it creates emotional distance and idk, honestly. Maybe I just like the concept that people can change their mind about these things and not being Parabatai doesn't make their bond is weaker (I mean look at Emma and Christina). I also think at one point that I was rooting for Lucie and Grace's friendship more than Cordelia (but not like in the Parabatai way, I just think they communicate or spend more time? Or maybe they are just trauma bonded over Jesse lmao). I also can't remember much in depth scene between Daisy and Lucie so, Idk man. Maybe in concept it might be good but the execution was not?

Okay now to Parabatai could've-been:

1. George and Simon

WE. WERE. ROBBED. You don't know how much I adore these two THEIR FRIENDSHIP IS EVERYTHING. they should've been Parabatai, okay, I was rooting for them since day ONE. Every time I remember that George died and Simon took his last name I died a little inside. THE POTENTIAL THERE. THE SOULMATISM.

2. Emma and Christina

I know I said not all besties should be Parabatai but I just root for them. I think they work with each other really well and the potential there is unlimited!

3. Livvy and Kit

Livvy and Ty would've slapped so hard too but I remember Ty not wanting a Parabatai and only agreed to be one with Livvy by the end for reasons I can't remember and I think that Kit is right there! I know he and Livvy barely know each other but the potential there!

4. Clary and Izzy

I know that the show made them Parabatai...just no. I think I read in the book that Isabelle chose not to have any Parabatai because she prefers to be independent or something like that and I think that principle suits so well with her character that I just couldn't imagine her with one. Even Clary and Simon made more sense and despite Clary and Izzy friendships supremacy, I just dont think they do well as Parabatai.

I think I did miss some other Parabatai in the book . There is Isabelle's father and his Parabatai if I'm not mistaken? Where his Parabatai kissed him and Robert was so disgusted or whatever. Yeah, they have the last spot.