#honestly a hard working queen i am (literally the reason i was struggling this much was not doing anything last week but ok)

[xxpeppermintxx109]

Pep!! Here (again) to tell you how incredible chap 20 was!! :') My absolute favourite part was Aemond's initial response to Shaera's collapse. Not flying into a rage or going numb or being sad but wondering how she'd act in the situation as if she wasn't the one who was injured. Trying to play make-believe as if she was gonna walk right in as a spectator. The part where he wanted to clean the blood hit me so hard I literally cried bc that resonated so much with my own experience of grieving. I think a lot of stories tend to gloss over/neglect the fact that denial is one of the first and most instinctive ways humans respond and process traumatic/sorrowful events. When I first knew that someone close to me was terminally ill, I didn't react by crying or being upset. My initial thought was about when I'd get a chance to cook with them again- which is ludicrous bc I knew deep down that would never happen anymore- but that was how I found myself dealing with the heaviness of everything. The way you wrote that part in the story truly makes me think that you know what it means to live as the characters you write- that they're real, complex individuals that live and experience things the way we do too. Love you for that!! On a separate note, Baela and Qoren really stuck out to me so much this chapter!! Baela- I LOVE HER. The way she's both the family's voice of reason and so loving of her family is amazing. Baela really shone in this chapter- what with cleaning Shaera's blood and supporting Rhaenyra and comforting Joff, this queen had A LOT on her plate. Second mother of the blacks honestly. I especially appreciate how grounded Baela is in the reality of everything that's happening, while Shaemond are fools in love and all. But obviously the backdrop of their relationship is immensely tense and political, and I think Baela provides that timely reminder. Also Qoren omfg, I've always been neutral towards him but I loved him in this chapter??!!?? The way he managed the whole poisoning fiasco and the realisation of what it was that Shaera drank AND how he still cares so deeply about her in spite of what he knows. Honestly if Shaera's not gonna husband him up, I AM. Qoren x ayalou truther now!!! Also I think the manner in which you've laid out the relationships between the blacks and the greens in this fic is so intricate. And it really came to the forefront this chapter. A regret I've always had after reading f&b is that there wasn't much room given to exploring the complexity of the relationships between both parties. It was pretty clear they hated each other, yes, but there wasn't the same kind of tension and layeredness to it as GLBH imo. Anyway I can't believe I've written a whole essay in your asks AGAIN (when I struggle with writing 1-paragraph long discussion posts for school lol)- sorry if I was rambling!! TLDR: I love you + your work so much and cried multiple times reading this chapter. Sending you warm hugs!! <3

AHHH HI AYA! THANK U FOR THIS DEVASTATINGLY KIND ASK!! I’ve been wanting to post a little something but I like to give people like 5 ish days before I post anything about the chapter, so I hope that’s okay!!

THE DENIAL!! While Aemond is certainly the most rash out of all of them (in my opinion cause of his actions in f&b and even a little in hotd), I think there’s a certain hesitance. And denial! Because why would anyone think that Shaera of all people has been poisoned? Shaera mf Velaryon?? The girl who literally could not even hurt a fly?? There’s also a realization that the girl he very much is infatuated with is doing something she should not be (bleeding) and that’s fucking horrifying. He knows blood bothers her and he knows that he would do anything to keep her from bleeding if it meant she was comfortable, but he can’t do that, and I think that makes him go error 404 for a moment, and even then that denial carries over to when he finds out about the betrothals. Now he’s agitated and clearly ready to snap (and he does a little), but when he hears about the marriages, he has to shut down again before he does something bad and there’s something dangerous about him rn. He’s not acting poised—save for when he goes to Shaera’s bedside, but even then, he’s brought to tears even if he doesn’t realize it—and that’s not the Aemond that Alicent (and Criston) raised, and only his siblings are realizing that.

I’m so glad you loved Baela and Qoren this chapter!! They’re some of my favorite characters to write! Baela truly is the voice of reason and she cares so much about keeping everyone safe and happy, even if that means risking the short-term happiness here and there. She truly thinks like the future Queen of the Seven Kingdoms and she’s certainly the best of Daemon and Laena, and that’s why I love her so fucking much (even if people are upset she’s not team shaemond LMAO—Guys it’s for a good reason!!). And Qoren!! My dilf. My king. My baby girl. Qoren certainly has his jealous moments prior to this chapter but there’s a certain smugness about him. A security. He knows that he has Shaera’s hand secured and at this moment in time, he could care less who she’s fucking (though he certainly has his suspicions and it’s not a happy thought) because that’s not what matters. This isn’t the right time for him to get jealous (or at all) and he understands that because he’s older, more mature, and has many more life experiences than some people sksksksk. His goal isn’t even to save Shaera cause he wants to marry her but because she deserves to be saved. She deserves to live, and Qoren will not see another woman die unnecessarily if he can help it (and he can certainly help it this time, whereas with his wife, he couldn’t.)

I’m so glad the relationships are landing. That means so much to mean cause I spend so much time on making sure I build them as organically as possible. They take a lot of time, but I always feel so pleased with how they turn out with each chapter and I’m so happy that people love them all just as much as I do.

Thank u so very much for this lovely comment aya. I loved it and I hope this response ,does it justice <3

-p

[cassisanasshole]

So, here’s my view on this...as a major Cass fan primarily, and a major Cass kinnie. I am also by default a Cassunzel lover, Rapunzel lover, new dream lover and Eugene lover. I mean, the whole trio is just great and perfect as a v-poly relationship, Rapunzel has two hands etc. Eugene is genuinely a good partner for Rapunzel and I think that the true bond the two of them would have as friends, and Rapunzel’s mutual partners would grow to be much deeper than the silly fighting in the show, esp after the events of s3 and whenever Cass decides to come back. And they’d probably still bicker, because they’re friends.

The thing is...Rapunzel didn’t cut Cass out. She fought for her super hard and taught everyone around her love, compassion and forgiveness for someone who was literally (yes, unknowingly for part of her actions but still) conspiring with a world ending demon and wreaking physical destruction on her Kingdom. The one she is sworn as the head of state’s daughter and future head of state, to you know, protect. And still, she fights for Cass, the literal Queen and her mother gives her a pep talk on saving Cass. Cass is so so important to Rapunzel. Anyone who is a Cass hater but calls themself a Rapunzel lover...is plain wrong. That doesn’t align with her views or morals, literally even after s3.

But, rightfully mad over how Rapunzel treated her, coming from a huge Cass fan and deep emotional kinnie here myself lols, I don’t know about. I mean, Cass has a huge problem with communicating. When she has a problem she bottles it up, never wants to talk about it. It’s part of the reason why I love her, many Cass fans love her, Rapunzel loves her! But she ultimately stews in that negative mindset so long that she explodes. Rapunzel doesn’t really...do anything to her. You can say that she ignores Cass’ wishes, but ultimately that is honestly her right to, as not only her sovereign but the person whose destiny they are embarking on. Of course Cass wants to protect her, but Rapunzel is her own person and an adult and it was never her destiny. That’s hard for Cass to deal with, but it’s just the way it is. Rapunzel, such a sweet girl who has been traumatized by so much, doesn’t deserve to be further persecuted by her close loved one because of something she couldn’t possibly have known that also hurts her, and class struggles. 

It’s not Rapunzel’s fault Cass feels cheated out of things, or insecure. And, of course Zhan Tiri was a master manipulator but it was also not Rapunzel’s fault, and super hurtful to Rapunzel too to learn what she did about Gothel. Don’t you think maybe, maybe Rapunzel would have preferred having a big sister to being all alone? It’s not her fault Gothel was a bad mother to both of them and threw Cass away. Rapunzel has a direct communication style and needs clear direct communication, but then works very hard to solve things and come up with a useful compromise which is shown multiple times in the show. Even before the Zhan Tiri Gothel thing, Cass honestly never tried to communicate how she was feeling.

Not communicating, leads to exploding on the people you love. And yes, Rapunzel still loves her very much anyway so those people are ultimately wrong. But as a mentally ill Cass kinnie, it was so so comforting to see someone make a huge mistake and then be forgiven. Cass does deserve kindness and grace but also to be held accountable for her actions. 

Rapunzel fans explain something to me.

Why do some of y'all wish Rapunzel would've cut Cass out in season 3 because of the attempted murders but shit on Cass and call her "whiny and entitled" because she's rightfully mad over how Rapunzel treated her?

I'm genuinely asking.

[kimmkitsuragi]

wooo it was terrible but we did it ladies

[jangmi-latte]

M ann, as a fello Vil simp, seeing your replies to people asking about Vil gives me LiFE. Because YeS, you literally voice out everything that is So SO good about Vil. I honestly never expected to like him that much, but after chapter 5, I just became full Vil simp.

He's just so...elegant and refined?? He exudes the confidence and poise that I wish I could have man. Like the way he refuses to have people looking down on him and the way he put those Savannaclaw students in their place? Yes Queen, your highness, ShOw 'Em!!

He works hard, and makes sure those results show and I just love him for it.

admittedly, i'm a vil kinnie AIJDIOJMFA it's one of the reasons why i love him because i somehow relate to his struggles and interests </3. been told by a few people how much i either radiate vil or rook energy but i am what i eat– SLAPPED

but in all seriousness, the misconceptions i've seen actually irks me and how fanon vil is being connected to canon vil even when it's entirely different hence why i jump in to make sure twst players truly know who vil is. not just vil, even the other characters. and your message actually touches me thank you very much <3.

He's just so...elegant and refined?? He exudes the confidence and poise that I wish I could have man. Like the way he refuses to have people looking down on him and the way he put those Savannaclaw students in their place? Yes Queen, your highness, ShOw 'Em!!

vil just doesn't really care HAUIAOJIJF. he will be seen what he WANTS to be seen and that WILL happen because that's what he radiates. hence, compliments to him are just being shrugged because he already knows and that's one of his sources of his confidence like nYEHEEHEHEHURFEUHIWHUE. but that doesn't mean he's free in insecurities. his insecurity is not being enough or not working hard enough – thus, being a workaholic that could rival riddle's. he wants to achieve a lot. he's the epitome of work harder and smarter and rook's work smarter not harder. see the importance of their energies?

and babes, your energy makes me wanna butt heads with you and wave a flag with vil's face on it NYATATATAAT

[twst-bs]

NRC Students and an Anxious MC

And with this, I've done all of the students at NRC!! Well, with the nervous MC, anyway, I have some other stuff in the works too.

Also, in case anyone was wondering, I'm open for both requests and commissions!

-----

Ace: “You look awful.”

The Ramshackle Prefect shot Ace a glare, but it lacked their usual fire. “Thanks, Ace.”

“Come on, I didn’t mean it like that and you know it.” he caught up with them easily when they turned around to keep walking. “I just meant you looked like you had a rough night. Or like you’re stressed out. You know.”

“Your grave only has to be six feet, Ace, you can stop digging now.”

Ace rolled his eyes. “You aren’t usually this crabby. Seriously, what’s up?”

They sighed. “You’re right, I had a rough night.”

“Any particular reason why? Or just ‘cause?”

The two of them had reached Crewel’s classroom, but they still had a few minutes before they had to be in there. The Prefect bit their lip nervously. “I kind of freaked out last night because of the homework.”

“It was pretty hard, huh?”

“Well, that too,” they crossed their arms, almost like they were trying to hide themself. “But, it’s like...I feel stupid, you know? You guys all know this magic stuff, but I’m struggled to handle even the basics. Then I thought, well, if I can’t handle the basics, I’m going to get punished, and I would deserve it because I’m an idiot, and...you can see how the spiral went.”

Ace was quiet for a moment, studying them with an unreadable expression. Then, he heaved out a side and grabbed their wrist, tugging them into the classroom. “I guess it can’t be helped, then.”

“Huh?”

He plopped unceremoniously into his seat and dug around in his bag. “Be quick about it, okay? Queen only knows what Crewel’s punishment for getting caught copying homework is.”

The Prefect stared at Ace with wide eyes. “Seriously?”

“It’s better than nothing,” Ace shrugged, slapping his notebook down on the desk. “If he says anything, I’ll tell him you helped me word it. Now, come on!”

Deuce: They weren’t getting anywhere.

The longer they stared at the question on their worksheet, the less they could focus. Apparently this was supposed to be basic stuff, but there were so many strange ingredients with different magical properties that they couldn’t keep track. And the more that had to flip back and forth between their textbook and worksheet, the more stupid they felt.

“...right? Hey, are you alright?”

Deuce’s voice broke through the panic that was beginning to set in, and when they finally looked up, his blue eyes were wide with concern.

“What? I’m sorry, Deuce, I kinda...spaced there for a minute.”

That only made the crease in Deuce’s brow deepen. “You looked really freaked out. Is something wrong?”

The two of them had made a habit out of studying in the library together. Since Deuce wasn’t the best student and the Prefect was playing a very intense game of catch up, they figured they could motivate each other while studying. But lately, all they had been able to do was sit there and be anxious about everything.

"I...um…" They absent-mindedly clicked their pen, unable to look Deuce in the eye. "I'm sorry."

"What are you apologizing for?" he asked incredulously. "For real, are you alright?"

The genuine worry in his expression made something in them burst. They threw their pen down on the table and buried their face in their hands. "I don't know what I'm doing! I went from magic not existing to suddenly having to study it, and I can't even master the basics! I'm terrified that I'll fail and Crowley will kick me out and -"

"Whoa, whoa, hey, it's okay!" Deuce's chair scraped against the floor as he hurried over to their side, grasping their hands in his. "Everything's gonna be okay."

Their chest heaved as they tried to suck in enough air. "But -"

"Listen," he cut them off. "The stuff you have to deal with is a lot. And I'm sorry for not realizing it earlier. If you want, we can go to Professor Crewel and ask for some tutoring, or even remedial lessons. Whatever you need, I'll help."

Cater: “What are you looking at?”

At the sound of the Ramshackle Prefect’s voice from behind the couch he was sitting on in the Heartslabyul lounge, Cater lolled his head back to grin at them. “Heya! Just scrolling through Magicam, what else is new?”

“That is your favorite pastime, huh?” they leaned on the back of the couch, looking at the screen.

“What are you doing in Heartslabyul, anyway?” he asked.

“Ace thought he could get away with not studying if he ‘forgot’ his textbooks at Ramshackle. I’m returning them before Riddle thinks I was in on it.””

“Yeah, that tracks.”

The two of them lapsed into a companionable silence, the Prefect watching as Cater scrolled. However, out of the corner of his eye, he could see their expression gradually get tighter and tighter, like they were trying to control whatever emotion was trying to show through.

“What’s with that face?”

“What face?” they asked defensively. “This is just my face.”

“That’s the face you make when you start having bad thoughts but don’t want anybody to know.”

“Get out of my head, Cater.”

He snorted, turning so he was sitting sideways on the couch and could get a better look at them. “Come on, tell Cay what’s on your mind.”

They hesitated, picking idly at the loose thread on the couch. “...It’s just me being stupid.”

“I’ll be the judge of that.”

“...The people on Magicam are way more good-looking than I am.” the finally mumbled, looking away. “I keep wondering when you’ll realize that.”

Cater’s green eyes widened before he giggled. “Nope.”

“Nope what?”

“I won’t realize it,” he reached around them to pull their face closer, kissing them affectionately on the cheek. “Because it’s not true. And whenever you start to think like that, you tell me, so I can reassure you.”

Jack: Something felt off.

Nothing in particular had happened, it was just one of those days. But, it was bad enough that they thought about just going back to Ramshackle instead of waiting for Jack like they normally did. Waiting outside of the classroom just made them feel even more antsy.

Just as they were about to shoot him a text to say that they weren’t feeling well - which wasn’t technically a lie - said wolf came out of the classroom, tail wagging involuntarily when he saw them waiting like it wasn’t an everyday occurrence.

Before he could even greet them, however, his nose scrunched up. Furrowing his eyebrows, he leaned down and began sniffing them.

“Jack, what the hell?”

“You’re nervous about something.”

Right. Nothing could beat that canine sense of smell.

“It’s nothing.” Jack opened his mouth to reply, but they cut him off. “No, literally. Nothing actually happened, it’s just a...a weird day, I guess.”

It was clear from the expression on his face that Jack didn’t quite understand, but the guy was nothing if not sympathetic. “Do you need help with anything?”

“Nah, it should eventually work itself out.” They tried to muster up an encouraging grin, but from the look on Jack’s face, they didn’t quite hit the mark. “I’m fine, Jack, promise.”

His tail had dropped, and his ears were pressed against his head. “...When I get worked up, going for a jog usually helps me. Gets all the energy out.”

They raised an eyebrow. “You and I both know that your jogging is my sprinting.”

“Then I’ll walk and you jog,” he grinned. “If you want to, that is.”

They paused before shrugging. “I probably won’t do a good job on the homework if I’m like this, anyway.”

Floyd: Don’t fall asleep. Don’t fall asleep. Crewel will turn you into a rug if he catches you falling asleep.

Their internal monologue was the only thing preventing them from passing out onto their desk. They had had a hard time falling asleep last night, and of course they were working on sleeping draughts in Alchemy today. The vapor wafting from the cauldron was enough to knock them out.

They hadn’t noticed that their eyes had closed until a hard knock on the classroom door startled them open. When Crewel called out for whoever it was to come in, the door opened to reveal Floyd.

“The Headmaster wants to see Shrimpy!” he sang, leaning against the doorframe. Crewel nodded, motioning with his pointed cane for the Prefect to get out.

Physically shaking themself awake, they stood. Next to them, Ace went “Oooooooh~”

“Trappola, just for that, you’re responsible for giving them the notes for the lesson.”

“Aw, come on!”

They didn’t even have the energy to stick their tongue out like they usually would. They just inched past all of the other students until they were at Floyd’s side. The merman casually slung an arm around their shoulder and steered them out of the classroom.

“What does the Headmaster want?” they asked. It could literally be anything, honestly.

“Oh, I lied!” Floyd giggled. “He doesn’t need to see you at all.”

“Huh?”

“You looked exhausted this morning,” Floyd tugged them closer. Not quite a squeeze, but there was something intensely protective in the embrace. “I figured you could use a nap.”

“So you busted me out of class?”

“Yup! This makes me your favorite, right?” he grinned, showing all of his teeth.

“Definitely.”

Epel: They always did have a nervous stomach.

There was a test in Trein’s class that day. No matter how much they studied the night before, they didn’t feel prepared, and their stomach was committing mutiny in response. They hadn’t been able to eat any breakfast, so now they were nauseated and hungry at the same time. They were either going to puke on the test or eat it, they hadn’t decided yet.

“Are you alright?”

They jumped. They had been so caught up in their own head that they hadn’t even heard Epel approach. “Hey. Yeah, I’m fine. Just a bit of test anxiety, haha.”

Epel didn’t look convinced. “Are you sure? You look kinda pale.”

“Really, I’m fine. I was just a bit too nervous to eat breakfast.” they insisted.

“Well, that’s not good.” Epel frowned. “You’ll do even worse on the test if you’re hungry.”

Oh, why did he have to phrase it like that? Just the thought made their already roiling stomach turn, and they whined softly as they hugged themself around the middle.

“Ah, wait, I didn’t mean it like that!” he backtracked. “I just meant it won’t do you any good!”

Epel reached into his bag for a moment, mumbling to himself. “I know I have some in here...ah-ha!” he pulled out a bag of dried apple chips. “Here! It’s not exactly a full meal, but it’ll help. And they’re really light, so if you’re sick because of nerves, they won’t upset your stomach.”

“Are you sure?” they asked as Epel handed them the bag.

“Pos’tive.” he grinned. “I’ve got plenty back at the dorm. And Ma’s always sending me stuff from the farm anyway. So go ahead, I don’t want you passing out!”

Sebek: They had no idea what he was talking about.

It was a feat in and of itself to be able to not pay attention to Sebek. The man was a walking lightning bolt. But today was just not a good day, mentally.

A pity, too. They always liked walking around in the woods with Sebek. Something about being in nature and listening to him talk passionately about whatever was on his mind was almost soothing, but it just wasn’t working this time.

“Are you listening?”

They jumped when he said their name. They had gotten so sucked into their own head that they hadn’t noticed him turn his monologue into a conversation. “I’m sorry!”

“What are you sorry for? Is everything alright?” he looked them up and down with sharp amber eyes, scanning for anything that could present any danger. “Are you ill?”

“No, no, it’s not…” they sighed, shoulders slumping. “I didn’t sleep well last night. Nightmares.”

Bad dreams had been a problem before they arrived in Twisted Wonderland, but now they were really plaguing them. It made concentrating difficult, even on simple things such as a walk with their partner.

Sebek stepped in front of them, forcing them to stop in their tracks. His angular features were serious, thrown into deep contrast from the light of the sun setting between the leaves. He clasped both of their hands in his own, holding them tightly as he looked into their eyes.

“You needn’t worry about such things. I will not let anything harm you, even your own mind.” he squeezed their hands. “On my honor as a knight.”

Silver: Watching Silver train with a sword was...something else.

They could watch him all day, going after the training dummy like it was actually an enemy.

Well, usually, they could.

It had been another sleepless night, up worrying about all the various things they needed to do. They only managed to fall asleep around four AM, and they needed to be at their first class by eight, so they hadn’t exactly gotten well-rested. They were impressed that they had managed to stay awake during their lessons, but now it was catching up to them.

The warm sun shining on their face and the rhythmic swishing of Silver’s practice sword was vaguely soothing, and before they really knew it they had slumped against the tree they were sitting under, fast asleep.

When they awoke, they were moving. It took a minute to gather themself, and they blinked sleepily at their surroundings.

“You can go back to sleep.” Silver’s voice rumbled against their side. He was carrying them. “We aren’t that far from Ramshackle.”

“...You could have woken me up.” they mumbled, nuzzled closer to his chest. “I would have walked.”

“You looked so peaceful.” he responded, adjusting his grip. “Unless you want me to put you down?”

“No.” they sighed. “This is nice. Me and Grim are always saying that it takes forever to get to Ramshackle from anywhere in the school, I’ll take the ride.”

Silver chuckled, leaning down to press a kiss to their forehead. “Go to sleep.”

[lady-of-the-spirit]

Exactly like they could have been friends or at least acquaintances. Yeah that’s honestly true they really could have been friends if they weren’t enemies at the beginning. And yeah they did have Audrey dancing with them so she could have been one of their friends or something close to that.

Fr Ben was willing to work everything out. He was willing to do what was best for mal. You’re right like it def was hard on mal and it makes sense that she does have the pressure on her. Exactly like it’s not an excuse to spell Ben and trick his memories. Same like I don’t mind her ‘cheating’ in a sense with the magic but I do understand why Ben was baffled and maybe peeved at first. I also think that this could be because of many reasons of why he’s peeved/miffed. They’re a couple and he believes (which he is right) that they are together in unity. And they should trust each other so her keeping a secret from him (that he honestly probs would understand) is kind of breaking the trust already. Another reason is that he feels like he isn’t good enough or something. Because mal has been struggling and he didn’t see it so he sees it as a personal failure on his part that he didn’t even see his own girlfriends’ problems/feelings. These are just theories though so idk but I’m trying to make some sense out of it.

Seriously they don’t do anything to cover his identity. Like you said they put the family crest on him. But also they didn’t even try to like cover his face in makeup or anything. Sure he had a hat but that was barely gonna do anything especially when his face is on posters. There’s only so much clothes can do ya know?

Yep like Ben is just trying to be a good king and person and puts pressure on himself. I love that connection with Zed from Zombies cuz you are so right. Like they are similar with pressuring themselves and finding responsibility for things that weren’t even their fault. You’re right since it got so mal centric idk what they could have done to handle Ben’s situation the best and in a good way.

Omg I love that fic rec. And it’s such a cool premise with Ben getting pissed and taking the scepter. I def had heard of it before and had it open in my tabs but it ended up getting lost in my sea of tabs that I keep lol. But I’ll def read it soon and check it out cuz it seriously sounds amazing!!!

THEY COULD HAVE BEEN FRIENDS. WE WERE ROBBED. She danced with Jay at the end and that was super cute! Where did that moment go??? Give us the "mean girls, no one else can be mean to you but me" kind of relationship!

D2 had Mal make choices that were questionable but understandable. She thought she had to be perfect, she had all eyes on her viewing her as a Villain Kid, she had all eyes on her viewing her as a potential future queen. No wonder she felt stressed out and had a breakdown when it got too much! I get it! But like you said, she and Ben should trust each other enough to confide in each other. It's a betrayal of trust between the two of them, which only gets worse when she tries to spell him. And I believe Ben trying to blame himself for it when he finds out Mal ran away, and him blaming himself again when he's apologizing to her, and her never saying "It's not your fault, it's mine." and instead "If you think I can change, you're wrong" just shows the level of miscommunication between them, and tells Ben that the problem is him. Even if Mal thinks she's the problem (which she does), she doesn't do a good job of communicating that.

Seriously the dumbest VK of them all, Gil, recognized Ben, and they didn't think "Hm. that's probably a sign we should change something." And then they let him wander off by themselves. Insane.

I am holding Ben and Zed in my arms so tight, they literally deserve nothing but good things but they keep getting unbearable pressure from the society and people around them. THEY'RE TRYING SO HARD.

Yes! It's such a great fic, I hope you like it!

[softcallofdutyimagines]

Hello!! Can we have an couple of HCs of the safehouse bois (COD: Cold War) loving their curvy fem s/o? (and maybe trying to make her feel happy in her body if she's insecure of feels weird?)

Thankie and sorry for the oddly specific request 😅

Djsjsjsj ok ik you have like two other requests, and they'll be coming!!! But this struck such a mood I had to skip the line lol.

Honestly, like the way I tried to treat myself to some ✨ s p i c e y ✨ lingerie that just arrived and it fits literally everywhere else except that, ofc the cup size is an absolute JOKE, i-

Anyway, I digress lmao. Thank you for the request(s) btw, and enjoy!!!

---

Adler

Personally, he doesn't strike me as the kind of guy to have a particularly strong preference for any one "type"

But in the era where the super tall, super slim, super models reign supreme, he understands that sometimes it's hard to feel pretty if you're built like anything else

After all, I don't think any of the guys know how it feels to see yourself as "unattractive" more then he does

I mean, if he'd been cut a little deeper or on a different angle, he could've needed whole skin grafts, or even physical therapy for his jaw

And who wants a guy as messed up and broken down as that, right?

But you... Oh, you're gorgeous

Adler is very soft and gentle when it comes to his appreciation for you and your body

While he does know how to express himself, he's not really the grand gesture type, like some of the others are

He is the biggest self love hypocrite, always quick to get down on himself and his facial scars, but absolutely cannot STAND to see you upset over you body

You chide him for this now and then, but he usually jokes it away

I know I said Adler doesn't really have a type, but don't think for a second that he'd pass up on a great thing when he gets it

I don't want to say "handsy" but he definitely likes to just... Touch you, when you're alone together

Not even necissarily in a sexual way, he just likes to appreciate the shape of you, you know?

Very into hugs from behind, or really at any angle, as long as he gets to feel his arms around your waist

Also, you can catch him absent mindedly caressing your hips with his knuckles or a lone finger whenever he's standing around with you

Hudson

Oh y'all ain't ready for this one lmao

I am 99% certain that behind that steely facade, is a man who loves nothing more then a THICC juicy Queen™

I'm so serious, like the curvier the better for this dirty dog lmao

The best part is, that the fun isn't in that he just goes feral when you two are alone (although he certainly could, in a rare mood)

He's actually really shy about it, and he doesn't want you to feel like that's the only reason he loves you

And while you do appreciate the respect he has for you, you'd be lying if you said you didn't like to tease him

A favorite of yours is to walk into his home office half or fully naked and watch him, very obviously, struggle to stay focused on his paper work

He knows he's weak, but damn it he can never last long before giving in and handing over whatever kind of attention you're seeking

You know, whatever that may be 😏

When you're feeling insecure however, he can sense it immediately and always seeks to get to the bottom of whatever is causing you to feel that way

Although he's rather direct, he's tactful and tries his best to know the right thing to say

He's a great listener, and will never hesitate to tell you how beautiful and special you are to him

Lazar

Lmao, I don't think there is any universe in which Lazar would not be in full support of being with a curvy woman

Especially as a big guy himself, you two are an absolute power couple

He is both literally and metaphorically your biggest hype man when it comes to your appearance

Also, 10/10 likes to give you gifts of clothes and the like that he thinks you might appreciate/look pretty darn good in

Honestly, it is rare to feel down about your body when in a relationship with him, but everyone gets insecure sometimes, and he gets that

Thankfully, he's a master comforter, and is always at the ready to give you the treatment you need to feel better

Typically you can expect snacks and cuddles if you're just feeling sad, and stuff like a massage or body kisses and so forth if you need a reminder that you're literally the most gorgeous woman on earth

Oh, and he's very protective of you and defensive of your looks

I kind of hate to use this terminology lmao, but Lazar is the Alpha™ everywhere he goes, and he has no problem reminding other guys of it

So if he sees someome else checking you out, he'll be sure to block their view and do something like make direct eye contact until they leave you be

Have you ever had a 6'4, powerlifter looking, tank of a man sneer directly at you before?

Not a good feeling, I assure you

Needless to say, you don't have to put up with much, if any harassment or other stupidity on Lazar's watch

Mason

Alex strikes me as the type who doesn't buy into the paper thin beauty standard that society like to push

Obviously that's great if you're just naturally thin and all! But mostly he's totally down for the curvy, "built like a brick house" type of woman

He appreciates the way that you can keep up with him when he has to do physical things around or outside the house

Alaska is a rather unforgiving place after all, so he finds great comfort in the support and companionship you have to offer him

You're like his little amazonian goddess, and he's always in awe of not only how unbelievably beautiful you are, but also how hardy and tough you can be

In fact, you and your body are so normalized and loved by him in his mind that it genuinely catches him off guard when you say you're feeling insecure about it

But in times like that, he loves to tell you how beautiful your body is, not just for the way it looks but for the things it can do

You're built so strong and tough, but also soft and feminine... he can't even think about being with anyone else

He's very into body worship, like Lazar is, but Alex is a lot more gentle and is extremely conscious of making sure you're alright as he goes along kissing and caressing

If he could only show you how beautiful you are to him, he would in a heartbeat, but for now he just hopes his words and actions are enough

Sims

Oh, you already know Sims loves a thicc, curvy snack of a woman lmao

Skinny guys always love the curvy ladies

He doesn't really go feral when you two are alone, but he's not exactly shy about having this hands all over you either

For sure he always greets you with a compliment, whether it be a look, a whistle, or words... he's prepared

Also, he's very vocal in having you understand that there is not a single outfit you look "bad" or "unflattering" in, even if it's just sweats and a t-shirt

In fact, he is so confident in you, that he loves to show you off when he can and if you're comfortable

Always introduces you as "his girl" and is never afraid to point out your new outfit, hair-do, nails, ect

I feel that Lawrence would be another case where it's quite rare indeed to feel insecure about your body, and so when such times do arise he takes it seriously

He's basically a gentler, more emotional version of Hudson

By that I mean, he's the type to want to talk it out (if you're up to it) and ask what's wrong or if someone said something to you

You'll always have a reliable listener and food advice giver in him, and somehow that seems to always do the trick

Woods

Honestly, Woods is Hudson part 2, except that he has all the vocalized pride of loving curvy women as Sims and Lazar

He's still careful to make sure he doesn't come off as a creep or something, mind you, but complimenting and loving on your body just comes naturally to him

Extremely handsy in private, and you've definitely swatted his hands away from your hips, waist, back, ect more then once

In public, I wouldn't exactly say "handsy" but he's determined to make sure everyone knows you're with him

He usually escorts you places with a hand gently placed either just above your tailbone or protectively wrapped around your waist

As independent as you may be, you must admit, it's nice to feel like a princess everywhere you go, escorted around by your knight in shining flannel

He'll even offer you his arm if he's feeling particularly gentlemanly, because yes, miracles can happen

Unfortunately, Frank is probably the worst wordsmith of all the gang, and is next to clueless on what to say if you're feeling down and insecure

At least to his credit he'll usually start off by admitting to that fact before giving it a try

"Well, you know I'm shit with words, but... I hope you also know that I love you the way you are"

Thankfully what he lacks in words, he makes up for in physical affection

Even if you're really only comfortable with some cuddling, he's gonna cuddle you so good!!! He's determined and will stop at nothing

After all, whatever it takes to make you feel every bit as amazing as he knows you are

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

IOTA Reviews: Lies

You guys ready for almost twenty straight minutes of Angstdrien Depreste? Neither am I.

Let's get into the third (chronologically the second) episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fourth season: Lies (Oh, I get what they did there).

We open with Marinette struggling to decipher the grimoire she inherited from Fu, before two of the Kwamis screw around and play a video about Adrien.

Jesus Christ... it hasn't even been an episode since she broke up with Luka, and the writers are already back to making her simp over Adrien again. And this part of the episode takes place during “Truth”, where she's still dating Luka. This is supposedly meant to show her conflicting feelings regarding both Adrien and Luka, but it just comes across as yet another joke about Marinette simping over Adrien because the writers have forgotten she has other interests outside of her hero life.

And here we go. The writers are going to go out of their way to make the audience feel bad for Adrien in this episode by showing how tough his life is. What do we see him do that is allegedly so exhausting? He models for another statue, goes to a photoshoot, and then goes to some drama class where he repeats some phrase (I think it's supposed to be a warmup, but it's never explained why he's there in the first place). That's it. This is his definition of an “endless day”? Oh yeah, his life must be soooooooo hard.

Adrien is a rich white boy who is the son of one of the biggest names in fashion across the world, has legions of fans, an honest education, and is also one of the most beloved superheroes in the city while not having to struggle with the same responsibility his partner has. But no, Adrien's life is much harder than anyone else who has suffered this past year. It's yet another trick the writers are pulling to make people feel bad for Adrien instead of criticizing his behavior. I'm sorry, but I find it a little hard to relate to someone whose biggest problems amount his diamond shoes being too tight.

Good lord, I'm not even a minute in...

So Adrien transforms into Cat Noir and heads off to patrol. Keep in mind that the first part of this episode takes place during the events of “Truth”, so we see how he reacts to Ladybug not showing up for patrol. He waits for a while before he starts, but not before leaving a message for his partner.

Now, this moment honestly could have worked. What doesn't make it work is the air quotes Cat Noir starts off with. If he had said something like that honestly and kept his feelings a secret, it could have shown he understands the burden Ladybug has to bear now that she's the Guardian, but doesn't want to worry her. The problem is that the way he phrased the first sentence coupled with the air quotes make it seem like he doesn't care about what Ladybug has to deal with now, and only wants her to spend time with him.

You think I'm being overdramatic or I'm just jumping to conclusions? In the very next scene, Cat Noir actually tries to see if Mr. Ramier is emotional enough to get akumatized into Mr. Pigeon again just so he can see Ladybug.

This is just... why? Why would any of the writers expect the audience to feel bad for Cat Noir here? It's one thing for him to miss Ladybug's company, which is natural considering how much time they spend together, but wanting to start a life-threatening situation just to see Ladybug just isn't cool. What makes this any different from Chloe causing a subway to go out of control so she can save it herself, or Lila intentionally akumatizing herself and working with Hawkmoth just because she hates Ladybug? If you can find a reason other than “because the plot says so”, I'll want to hear an explanation.

So Cat Noir goes to Le Grand Paris to drown his sorrows in alcohol with his favorite drink, a White Russian without the vodka and coffee liqueur. Also, instead of cream, it's skim milk. And speaking of Chloe, we see her get into a brief squabble with Sabrina over missing a bag she has underneath her shoulder, and Cat Noir gets excited again at the prospect of getting to fight an Akuma, but thankfully, the situation is resolved fairly quickly.

Ignoring how unheroic this makes this supposed “superhero” look, I have a quick question. SHOULDN'T CHLOE BE IN PRISON RIGHT NOW? She essentially committed treason against her country by willingly conspiring with a terrorist. I get that everyone in Paris was paralyzed at the time, but did Ladybug not tell anyone what happened? How is she not in trouble? Did her father pardon her or something? Is she not even going to do any community service? You would think given how much Astruc hates her, Chloe would be forced to face more consequences for her actions other than losing her Miraculous permanently. Hopefully, “Queen Banana” will shed some light on Chloe's situation, but I'm not exactly holding my breath on that.

But yeah, Cat Noir actually gets excited at the prospect at fighting an akumatized Sabrina, while ignoring how cruel Chloe's being to her, because I guess it's a day that ends with a “Y”. Remember when Adrien actually called out  Lila and compromised with her in order to get Marinette back into school? Good times.

Cat Noir keeps calling and leaving messages for Ladybug, but changes his mind as soon as he sees Kagami, because he has the attention span of a puppy looking for someone to play with. Adrien stares at his phone's wallpaper of Ladybug, implying he still has feelings for her, and is then informed by Nathalie that his fencing class with Kagami was moved back by an hour. In reality, it was a trick by Kagami to get the two to spend some quality time together.

They choose to hang out in the art room because, get this, Kagami has always had a passion for drawing. Of course! That explains why it's never been mentioned in any earlier episodes, not even the one where she attended the premiere of an animated movie, which is a similar form of art. It's almost like the writers wanted to have Kagami do something that doesn't involve swinging a sword around. It's a good reason, mind you, but maybe if it was foreshadowed more, I would be more open to it.

Kagami says that she loves drawing because “art never lies”. Because it's not like someone can draw something completely inaccurate to what's actually being depicted, much like a certain character who likes to make up stories of people she knows to get others to like her, right? Kagami also says that her mother doesn't let her draw because she doesn't think her art isn't good, even though she's blind. Because when it comes to parents in Miraculous Ladybug, they're either amazing people who love their children, or they're emotionally abusive pieces of garbage who make you wonder why they even had kids in the first place. There is literally no middle ground. Maybe some of the writers have daddy issues?

So Kagami decides to draw a picture of Adrien, but wants him to give her a more “natural” pose instead of the standard model poses he usually gives.

Okay, this scene is raising so many red flags, the dialogue might as well be in semaphore. Where the hell did this side of Kagami come from? Why is she so controlling and forceful all of a sudden? In fact, why is she so obsessed with Adrien being “perfect”? The two made jokes before in the past (Desperada), and even spent half of the Season 3 finale playing around with Marinette? Why is she now Little Miss Serious?

Also, Kagami is really overstepping boundaries with Adrien here. Like, to a seriously uncomfortable degree. I get she isn't good with social cues, but how can she not see how anxious Adrien looks while she forces him into a pose, all while saying how wrong he is for doing what he sees as “natural”? This is not what a healthy relationship looks like, and spoiler alert, this isn't exactly why they even break up at the end of the episode.

Before the two can kiss while they're actually at fencing practice, Adrien is forced to leave Kagami to help Ladybug fight Mr. Pigeon (which means the narrative basically gave him what he wanted for no reason), leading to the same scene where Ladybug almost kills him, while he jokes about how he likes how angry she gets, and she apologizes for something that wasn't her fault. Just remember, he flirts with Ladybug right after he left his girlfriend to join her for an Akuma battle. The same montage from “Truth” happens, only it's Adrien missing opportunities to be close with Kagami, culminating with the little Kitty Section concert that happened right before Luka got akumatized.

While the two wait for their rides, Adrien accidentally drops the charm Marinette gave him all the way back in “Gamer”, which Kagami picks up. When he sees an Akuma flying, Adrien soon heads off to fight him, saving Ladybug from blowing her cover. After the events of “Truth”, Adrien apparently heads to Prince Ali's birthday party (yet Rose isn't there for some reason), meaning the second half of this episode takes place immediately after the previous one, even though it's been established that Hawkmoth/Shadowmoth needs time to recharge.

After Cat Noir flirts a little with Ladybug again, he heads off to the party to meet up with Kagami. When he had to leave to fight Truth, Adrien claimed that he left something on the Liberty, which Adrien later claims was the charm Marinette gave him. Kagami soon realizes he's lying about something, and doesn't take it well.

There's a good performance from Kagami's voice actress here, and it's a nice parallel to Luka, who also feels a sense of betrayal when Marinette can't be honest with him. But this scene does tie into the problem with Adrien and Kagami in this episode, and I'll get into it towards the end.

Kagami storms off, and is immediately akumatized by Shadowmoth, turning her into Lies.

Like Truth, the design here is really forgettable. The design is all white and gives Kagami a haircut that looks like it belongs in The Jetsons, but that's it. The one thing I like about her is the way her powers work. Instead of going from victim to victim, Lies creates an energy dome that slowly grows and paralyzes anyone has lied before in the past, which is basically everyone who comes into contact with it. It's a pretty interesting idea, and it means that Ladybug and Cat Noir have to rely more on strategy while avoiding any contact with the dome.

Adrien transforms into Cat Noir and charges into action, with Jagged Stone offering to help out.

I don't think you can say the same for your family, can you, Jagged?

Cat Noir tells Jagged to get to a safe place, but much like his one night stand with Anarka, he refuses to pull out, so he gets paralyzed by the dome, along with everyone in the building.

Ladybug meets up with Cat Noir and immediately summons her Lucky Charm, a remote control drone. Since it hasn't lied, it can go into the dome and be used as surveillance while Cat Noir distracts Lies. While it seems like nobody inside the dome can touch Lies, Ladybug realizes that Fang, Jagged Stone's pet crocodile, hasn't lied either, so she uses the drone to lure him out of the building.

Cat Noir thinks of a way to distract Lies by doing what he always does to increase the tension.

You know, I thought of a little game we could play. Why don't we count how many times Cat Noir sacrifices himself this season? So far, the Cat Noir Self-Kill Counter is at 1, but I'm guessing it will be higher the longer this season goes on.

So while Lies is distracted by Cat Noir's unconscious body, Fang runs over and breaks her corrupted object, Marinette's charm. So after using Miraculous Ladybug, Ladybug runs over and, for good reason, I may add, scolds Cat Noir for recklessly sacrificing himself yet again.

You know if this plan failed, not only would Shadowmoth get your Miraculous, but Ladybug would be all alone, you idiot! And we're supposed to find this reckless endangerment funny!? Seriously, Ladybug smiles at Cat Noir's stupid little quip as he still flirts with her right after he got into a fight with his girlfriend.

The next day, Adrien apologizes to Kagami, but she says she can't trust him, not as a boyfriend, and not as a friend either. And here is the problem with the Adrigami breakup. Like with the Lukanette breakup, it chooses to focus on one detail instead of the other, and glaringly obvious detail. The episode is trying to say that the whole reason Kagami and Adrien can't work as a couple is because of Adrien keeping his life as Cat Noir a secret. In reality, both of them have problems that they need to work on before they consider dating. Kagami has shown herself to be a massive control freak in this episode because of her own vision of what Adrien is like, showing she doesn't respect his boundaries or beliefs.

And Adrien? Where do I begin?

Adrien clearly shows several signs that he hasn't moved on from Ladybug with how much he flirts with her, even before he and Kagami got together, and there's the fact that unlike Marinette who realizes how she can't have a love life, it doesn't feel like Adrien actually learned that lesson.

We are supposed to see Adrien focusing on his secret life as Cat Noir as the responsible thing to do, and that like Ladybug, he needs to prioritize being Cat Noir over dating. The thing is that this episode has only showed how he doesn't take any of the hero stuff seriously. Throughout the episode, he treats being Cat Noir as a fun pasttime, when it comes to craving Ladybug's attention to the point where he's just short of causing an Akuma attack out of desperation until he sees someone else to spend time with, constantly flirts with Ladybug despite how annoyed she can come across, doesn't understand any of the stuff she has to deal with now that she's Guardian, and will sacrifice himself all so Ladybug can do all the work for him. He doesn't care about anything unless he gains something in return. It doesn't matter if lives are in danger, he thinks his personal feelings are more important because his civilian life is sO hAaArRd.

At one point when we were all kids, we all wanted to be superheroes because we all thought the idea of having superpowers and the freedom to do whatever we wanted sounded awesome. But that's not what being a hero is. We never thought about the responsibility that comes with being a superhero. One of the main themes of superhero media that we all watched growing up was that they would help us to learn right from wrong, and that sometimes, personal sacrifices have to be made for the greater good, and our feelings just aren't that important in the grand scheme of things. Whether we learned this lesson from Superman, Spider-Man, Sailor Moon, the Power Rangers, or even the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, what matters is that by the time we reached the age of these heroes, we would have a similar moral compass so we would understand why these heroes would make some of the choices they did, and we would be able to make similar choices if we encountered situations like the ones they went through.

Part of growing up is realizing that being a superhero isn't all fun and games. Sometimes, you need to put your own personal desires aside to make sure nobody gets hurt because of something you did or didn't do. We are currently in the fourth season of this show, and after 82 episodes, Cat Noir has still failed to learn that lesson. He doesn't understand that even if his “true self” is clowning around, that's not how a hero acts. You don't see Batman or Captain America acting this way, and you don't see real life soldiers or emergency workers acting this way either.

And that's not even getting into the fact that this is the same problem the Lukanette breakup had. Even though Marinette had a valid reason to break things off with Luka because she realized being Guardian was more important, the narrative framed it like she was still into Adrien, no matter if she was making an effort to get over him. Likewise, even though both Adrien and Kagami have issues the narrative refuses to actually acknowledge, they frame it as Adrien's hero life was ruining their relationship, when in reality, the reasons for both the Adrigami breakup and the Lukanette breakup should have been flipped. “Truth” should have been about Marinette coming to terms with her new responsibilities as the Guardian, and “Lies” should have been about Adrien realizing he needs to work on his own personal issues before he considers his feelings for Kagami or Ladybug.

So the episode just ends with Ladybug and Cat Noir saying that even if they have to keep secrets about their identities, they can still trust each other. Also, before Kagami dumped him, Adrien reaffirmed his feelings for Ladybug (the only time they were actually referenced outside of flirting and his phone's wallpaper), which implies that Adrien is going to continue to pursue Ladybug, having learned nothing from this whole episode.

You know, after watching both this episode and “Truth”,  and seeing how it undid two of the major changes from the Season 3 finale, does it almost feel like nothing's changed at all? Does it almost feel like you've been here before? How am I gonna be a optimist about this? Hell if I know, this episode's honestly worse than “Truth” was.

Put aside your feelings on the Adrigami breakup, the pacing here was awful. Because the writers thought it would be interesting to have some continuity for once by having it take place right after “Truth”, the timeline is incredibly confusing. Can Shadowmoth just create more Akumas at once without having to recharge? And shouldn't Ladybug and Cat Noir be exhausted from having to fight two Akumas and a Sentimonster in one day?

Even then, about half of the episode was spent following Adrien as he whined about how hard he supposedly has it, proving despite what Astruc continues to state, he is far from perfect, and like what he loves to say about Chloe, refuses to change. Wow, that's so interesting. And we're supposed to feel bad for Cat Noir and be mad at Ladybug for missing their patrol, forgetting everything she's been going through in the last week, considering how Gabriel just fixed the Peacock Miraculous, suggesting that the events of “Truth” and “Lies” happened not too long after “Miracle Queen”. Even the Akuma fight wasn't that interesting because it was crammed into about five minutes thanks to everything else going on in this episode.

In an attempt to make the audience sympathize with him, this episode only made me loathe the way Adrien is portrayed even more. Seriously, he reaches “Frozer” levels of unlikability in this episode. Maybe he'll get some much needed character development, but given how much Astruc will put him on a pedestal and ignore his flaws, I don't think it's going to happen anytime soon.

But I still don't see the point of spending so much time building up this relationship for two seasons just to end it as soon as they hook up. At the end of the day, all Lukanette and Adrigami amounted to was filler. It was a way to get in some romantic scenes for the fans while the writers continue to drag out the Love Square drama like a taffy puller. And now that Luka and Kagami have served their purpose, watch as Astruc and the other writers start to slowly remove them from the narrative until they appear about as often as Nino does now.

After all, why care about anything in this show that isn’t related to the Love Square? It’s clear none of the writers do.

[maxdemianfangirl]

So...Lilith

So I did not think my responses would be reblogged by @veiledlight-blog and @ohmourningstar but I want to continue the discussion on Lilith which isn’t a reblog chain but instead a full post.

So, why not use Lilith in your practice?

Because you’re not Jewish. Lilith is Jewish. You are not. Judaism is a closed practice for a reason. You aren’t supposed to use the stuff there if you aren’t Jewish. Maybe I have to explain why it’s closed.

Anti-semitism is a big issue. It’s everywhere all around the globe. Closed practices are closed to keep the practice how it is without being colonized, and Judaism is no exception. The Jewish people are often discriminated against. I could go on a full rant on how.

My Sunday school classmates have found nazi symbols spray painted onto walls near their homes. My Jewish friends have been made fun of for being Jewish. I’ve personally been threatened with violence and possible death for being Jewish. It’s caused a long issue with my self identity and my religious beliefs which I still struggle with now. I have often not wanted to be Jewish because I felt so ashamed and bad about it. I didn’t want a Bat Mitzvah in case others found out because I knew telling my friends might bring up a side of them I had no clue about or letting others who would also harm me know about my Judaism. It worsened my mental health which was already not good. And guess what? I was a kid. Not even thirteen when this all happened. No kid should go through that. No kid should hate who they are and what they believe because of others and their hate.

Judaism at its root is meant to protect its people from those who want to harm those who practice it. The whole book of Exodus was about escaping the Pharaoh who enslaved us and finding a new home. We have countless stories about it (the Prague Golem is an amazing one). We have the Holocaust. We’ve been taught by the world to keep closed to ourselves. Its figures like Lilith are not for those who are not Jewish. 

Now, Lilith has become so popular because her whole concept has been changed from what it once was. Lilith was a high figure, not to be messed with and a literal demon who could and would harm babies and their mothers. Now she’s all succubus queen empowering women. While I am very happy that women, especially young witches, can feel empowered, there’s many, many ladies in other pantheons who are more appropriate for goyim (those who are not Jewish). Honestly, if i were a non-Jewish witch I would love Eve and even as a Jewish witch I still love her. Like your free will? Thank her. Stay away from the lady who was written to eat babies. 

Also, young witches are also a big problem when it comes to this. You're naive. Hell I’m still young I’m definitely still naive. But I’m learning. You should be too, learning what you shouldn’t use in your practice because it’s appropriation. 

And I mentioned before in my responses that some people have deities and entities come to them, not the other way around. I’ve dealt with this situation with another involving Lilith as said deity/entity before. Let’s have a hypothetical situation. You see Loki in your dreams. You’re not a Norse Pagan. He talks to you. When you wake up you feel this connection between you and him. You research. You find out about Norse Paganism and since you feel so connected to one of its deities, you study more of it and eventually become a Norse Pagan. People can get involved in certain religions or practices because of such experiences. Why can’t the same be done with Liltih and Judaism?

Now, Norse Paganism is an open practice. With closed ones it’s different, especially with African and Native American practices. But I say the underlying concepts and ideas still apply in concerns to Judaism. You’re free to join us. If you actually really feel connected to her, then I bet you 9/10 you’ll feel connected to Judaism and its concepts as well and end up converting. It’s a long process and yes, it’ll require a lot of work. But if you really want it you’ll do it. Getting into studying magic in itself is a massive undertaking. If you want it, you can do it. And if you want to become Jewish you can do it if you really want it.

I know many young witches who want to work with Lilith will say “but I’m too young I can’t convert!” Well guess what? If you really want it you can sit down and wait and when you’re 18 you can convert. Study Judaism in the meanwhile. Help out your local Jewish community. Be an ally to us. We’ll greatly appreciate it and it’ll help with the conversion. If it’s too much of a hassle to wait, hopefully you’ll learn you made a mistake as your young naive self and have more wisdom for your practice, because we all make mistakes and we all should learn from them. And definitely still stand with us as an ally against anti-semitism! And if you still work with and worship her after all that without the conversion, then you’re just an approperiating asshole. Why she would want to work with you is beyond me. Even being “against anti-semitism” is a futile effort because clearly no you’re not. 

Also, please do not work with Lilith while you’re converting. Wait till after. You made it so far doing it all right only to ruin it by doing that. Plus by doing so you’re honestly just showing 1) you only converted for Lilith 2) you don’t actually respect the rest of Judaism and 3) Honestly you’re just an asshole trying to cover your tracks.

For any witches who do fully convert or those thinking on it: you can still be a witch and do pagan things as a Jew! Look at me. Look at my mom. Look at @will-o-the-witch. Nobody will judge you for it (you’ll find we’re a very open-minded and accepting community). Even rabbis will be open to it and might give you resources! So don’t be scared. We’ll welcome you.

One big thing, don’t just do nothing when you are officially Jewish. Attend services at a synagogue. Help out at your local JCC. Celebrate the holidays. Don’t just turn Jewish because some kid on Tumblr told you to if you wanted to work with Lilith. If you’re just going to ignore all of it when it’s done, then why even bother? It makes you another asshole just covering their tracks. If this is what you’re gonna do, don’t do it.

Also, please note my whole ramble on conversion is meant for people who genuinely feel a powerful connection to Lilith which should extend to the whole of Judaism. Don’t convert or even consider it if you’re only vaguely interested in her and the religion. Research is fine but active practice is a whole new bucket of worms. You’ll waste your time and everyone else’s time with a conversion if you’re not fully involved and into it. Attend or watch (with the pandemic and that) a service or two and see how you think of it. Research research research as well and decide after you’ve done the two. It’ll likely be a no at the end if you are not genuinely interested. Or you may end up genuinely interested in Judaism by doing those things. Just always make sure you’re 100% confident in your choice for this if you’re going to actually convert. It’s a big move and not one to be taken lightly. 

So, TLDR for the whole conversion thing: you either end up realizing your mistake and growing as a person and witch, you reveal yourself as a true asshole, or you end up in a community you’re happy in. Think hard and long. Question your interest and connections. Don’t not get involved in Jewish things if you do convert.

I didn’t expect this to end up mostly about conversion at the end but oh well. I hope this helps or provides some insight. For any questions please just dm or send me an ask. Any anti-semitism or hate will be ignored because I don’t have time for your shit.

[certifiedceraunophile]

Hi! A fan of your writing here. I just love the way you write Caroline. An Avoidable Heart is my comfort fic and I am constantly in awe with the way you write and craft the dynamics in that story. Caroline's inner monologue is just priceless and God! I just love that intro scene where Caroline is walking into the Mikaelson compound with vampires and hybrids in the surrounding ready to pounce on her.

I would love to hear how you would have visualized Caroline crossing over into TO or not? Like in what season and why? How it would have likely gone?

Thank you!

First of all lovely anon gimme a moment to breathe, asdfghjkl why are people so lovely 😭😭🥺✨ It means sooo much to me that you’d take the time to jump into my inbox and send these kind words, like please I’m not worthyyyyy, But you make me smile and feel really freaking warm so *handcuffs your hand to mine* you aint leaving 💖✨💞🙃

But OK ALSO oh my god dude THAT CAROLINE WALTZS INTO THE COMPOUND AND TAKES ON A COUPLE HUNDRED VAMPIRES BY HERSELF SCENE???? Ughhhhh I’m sorry but I have SUCH a boner for Caroline in that, like my badass -I admit kinda op- QUEEN IS HERE and she’s fucking shit up, I’m sorry but I love that scene so much it’s so dear to me I was killing myself over how self-indulgent and grossly Over powered Caroline is but like idgaf man it’s such a hot scene and Caroline is practically invincible and we just love to see that, so seriously lovely anon, you telling me you LOVE that scene??? Puts the biggest smile on my face and reassures me a LOT bc I was whining and cribbing over how absolutely unbalanced that scene is to literally everyone BUT LIKE YOU JUMPING OUT OF NOWHERE and pointing that exact scene UGHH…...meant to fucking be the both of us 💖💞✨

And ALSO Caroline’s monologue is quite honestly the easiest inner monologue out of the three voices I wrote for that work, Klaus’s is the real pain in the ass tbvh like it is NOT easy writing pretentious besotted losers with a Kardashian complex especially when you need to make them sound cool when they’re the lamest OP dude bros to ever exist - and no I don’t hate Klaus although I seem to try my darndest to convince ppl I do- I just personally believe that a feral fucker like that with a thousand years of existence under his belt can grow a pair and graduate from his kindergarten level of emotional maturity to adult sometime soon, But then on the flipside he’s so grossly adorkably smitten and feral for Caroline plus hella horny for her all the time that its usually easy to write the trashed and devoted idiot he is into something pretentious and powerful and potent when relating to his unflappable arrogance and his narcissism, but sometimes I also need him to be *deep* and ffs profound for the sake of the plot and jfc my muse just wont work with me on that, she’s like I’m sorry I’m not about to bust my ass to make this mongrel intelligible like no sir all I wanna do is make him uncomfortably horny for Caroline and leave him like that.

So smh yeah the struggle is real….but lmao Caroline is just so precious and fiercely protective and just so achingly lonely in that story, so desperate for connection and trust and intimacy yet so guarded and impervious to everyone like it hurts me to write her like that but it really challenges me as an author to balance out her inherent light with the “void” I create in her and through her, so yeah it’s a very fulfilling task and I wouldnt change it one bit, and also I had to balance out her physical op-ness w half a millennium of the ugliest emotional trauma lol so I guess that figures, but the point being….once again I am overjoyed knowing that you liked a facet of the story that I tried so hard to make as authentically Caroline and achingly real and moving as I can and I cannot possibly feel more accomplished than rn for it so ty ty ty ty for reaching out to me and telling me *tackle hugs* It makes me GIDDY knowing that you enjoyed that particular part of the story like ugh stab me please you're too sweet.

And ok NOW, coming to The Originals part of the ask, (also please note that when I say TO headcanon; Hope does not exist, Hayley is a dead in a ditch and ofc Klaus will stop being that lil bitch they tried to pawn off as Klaus in TO) 

HEADCANON 1

Honestly my biggest headcanon when it comes to TO crossovers somehow always include non-humanity!Caroline like it’s just so perfect to me?? The opportunity to make shit BLOW UP b/w them like imagine the DEBAUCHERY, the heat, the SEXUAL TENSION, the repression of one Klaus Mikaelson, the EXPLORATIONS, and omg the role reversal when Klaus has to be the voice of moral reason between them and not bc he believes Caroline would not be able to stand herself if she does something heinous and monstrous but bc he wants her to be completely and utterly herself, and yk *aware*, when she DECIMATES ppl to the ground and is in full-on predator mode, like he wants her monster to come out and play with him when no part of Caroline is locked away or suppressed, so obviously when she is w/o her humanity KLAUS exercises restraint on her behalf, like can you imagine that, Klaus restraining himself and being the vague, extremely broken and just largely inaccurate moral compass between the two of them for ALL the wrong reasons- and the entirety of NOLA just standing there watching him herd this baby vampire who seems to be intent on riling him up and angering him when all she is doing is giving him a massive hybrid hard on, like IMAGINE THE GOODNESS of non-humanity Caroline wrecking NOLA and Klaus letting her wreck it bc he is helpless in the face of Caroline Forbes and also bc he is quite honestly *enjoying* the debauchery himself so why put a damper on the festivities.

-I might wanna add that I favour this headcanon a lot bc I genuinely do not even remotely *like* the idea of NOLA as Klaus's chosen place to set his roots so like I would love Caroline going to NOLA and destroying everything there just bc I detest NOLA and the storyline behind it in TO. (yes is it petty? Obvi, but like I am a petty soul and I make no apologies ma’am)

HEADCANON 2

So yeah that’s my main TO headcanon, but my other one being, one I talk about very frequently, scream about in tag rants to an obsessive level, and like this is a cracky one but still very valid, where Caroline rolls up to NOLA humanity intact and all, finds Hayley preggo and is just laughing her fucking ass off bc anybody ANYBODY, with half a brain and a two minute convo w klaus would know how UTTERLY stupid the entire baby shit is especially when it’s with an immemorable one night stand, and Caroline’s just losing her shit about how like an entire city is obssessed w this baby and she just straight up tells Klaus he’d SUCK as a dad (which he really does tho like he was a shitty fucking dad canonically too) and Klaus is just like *sigh* girl tell me about it. I mean basically he’s finally relieved that someone is on his side about the whole baby thing and how he definitely does not want his entire millennium of life to finally sum up to this one squalling leaking stinky infant/unicorn Hayley is apparently baking in her oven, and I say this headcanon is cracky bc klaus would never have put up w this mess long enough for Caroline to come in and sort it out, there’s this preferred method of disposal of his called heart ripping that would've been employed quite early on and honestly saved us all a lot of brain cells and minused years of life, bc let’s be real any Klaus who’s NOT a lil snivelling bitch wearing a Klaus skinsuit would’ve yeeted the baby and the mama first chance he got, and that’s just how I see it.

Lmao I really hope I didnt scare you away w my *strong* opinions Ik they can be a bit much but I enjoy having them so theyre not going anywhere, anyways this ask answer got WAYYYY too long but I’m hoping I answered your question well with this or atleast left you slightly confused and bemused over my feral screaming....either ways I’m really really really happy to have got your ask and the chance to rant so much bs, Twas cathartic and honestly I had nothing to do today so I was more than happy to dish this baby out for you. Thank you so much sweet anon for putting a smile on my face today I am absolutely HONOURED by your words you’sa cutie 💖💞✨🗣🗣

[exhausted-joy]

INTO THE WOODS [YANDERE!JIMIN] [05]

SYNOPSIS: Park Jimin is your needy, clingy, summer camp cabinmate that both creeps you out and makes you regret ever trying to be socially engaged during your summer break. After submitting truckloads of request forms to switch cabins and getting rejected, you realize that you must swallow your pride and get comfy with your new cabinmate. He hates it and so do you—at least, that’s what you thought.

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NOTE: WOW look who’s made an appearance!! so here i am w/ an update after... what? ten thousand years?  not sure if anyone even remembers this fic haha! thanks to my co-writer, luciole (on quotev), this chapter was able to get finished after sitting on one scene for the longest. thank you for waiting and hopefully i can get back into the groove of writing asap! <3

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You want to enjoy your trek back to camp. You really do. But it's incredibly hard to do so when your chronically antisocial cabinmate won't respond to a single word you say.

Each joke you crack is swallowed whole by the silence that follows, and every comment you make on your unfortunate surroundings falls on deaf ears. Perhaps you just weren't funny or you were being annoying, but that couldn't possibly be the case. You would be more inclined to believe that Jimin suddenly converted back into a mute, but you certainly wouldn't buy the Hellen Keller act anytime soon.

Despite his clear avoidance, the silences between you two are no longer awkward - for you, at least. When he doesn't laugh at a joke of yours, you don't feel the intense sear of embarrassment raising the hairs on your skin but, instead, there's a comfortable silence.

You'd like to believe that maybe he's not so much of a verbal laugh kind of guy, he just prefers to keep it all in. It's an unintelligible assumption, but it helps somewhat soothe your irrational fears of Jimin growing a sudden hatred for you.

"Hey, Jimin," you call from behind him, having lagged a few paces back due to his somehow inexhaustible stamina that keeps him in the lead pretty much at all times. "Can we please take a break? I think my lungs are about to collapse."

The boy halts in his steps and looks back to give you a single nod, his face stoic and unreadable. You shift uneasily and avoid eye contact, suddenly unnerved by his change in personality, though not surprised. You spot a large log covered in a thick layer of moss a few feet away and make your way over to sit on it.

Plopping down, you think back to anything you may have said that could have offended him in some way. Was it the joke you made about how big his hoodie was on you? Perhaps he had thought you were calling him fat? You didn't mean to hurt his feelings, if that's the case.

You thought you were making some progress with him, but it looks like you are back at square one again. It's discouraging, yet you aren't quite sure why.

Did you really want to be his friend? Or were you only bearing the weight of his strange tendencies because, in retrospect, you literally had no other choice?

You glance at Jimin, watching as he coolly rests against a tree turned away from you, his dark hair falling into his eyes. You just can't seem to figure him out; one moment he's the one initiating conversation and the next he's pulling back as if he's been burned. You wish you had some kind of sixth sense to help you understand the burdened inner workings that make Park Jimin, but you unfortunately don't.

And you're honestly too much of a coward to ask him if everything's alright, so maybe it's best if you just give him some space. He can't ignore you forever - you live in the same cabin after all, and a pretty small one at that. He would have to talk to you sooner or later. Right?

You sigh, shaking the intrusive thoughts from your mind. There is no use in mulling over something you can't control; if Jimin wants to indulge in his bouts of teenage angst, then so be it. You take a moment to recollect yourself and catch your breath, taking the chance to tentatively attempt at tidying up the bird's nest of hair that sits tangled atop your head.

But the bird's nest seems determined to stay until you get hold of a hairbrush, which, considering your current situation, could still be quite some time away. Getting up in favor of leaning against a tree yourself, you absentmindedly mirror Jimin's stance as you watch him from the corner of your eye. Nope, still not one sign of social capability.

This time your sigh is louder. Loud enough for him to hear and, low and behold, he turns his head in your direction to look at you. At this point, his constant changes in behavior from open to antisocial to intrigued are starting to get on your nerves, and you decide to show it.

Narrowing your eyes enough for him to notice, you turn away to stare at a tree in front of you which looks exactly like all the other hundreds of trees surrounding you.

Stunning, you think ironically. Like I haven't seen enough chunks of nature in the last twenty four hours.

Suddenly, a prickly feeling creeps up your spine. You're familiar enough with it by now - he's looking at you. Staring, more accurately, so intensely you can feel goosebumps welting up the skin of your arms despite the soft fabric of the hoodie that shields you from the cold morning air. But you don't turn around, you don't bother at this point.

Jimin musters you from his peripheral vision. Had he done something wrong? Had he offended you somehow? A million questions of the like course through his head all at once.

Even though he hasn't been able to come up with an appropriate topic for a new conversation after awkwardly ending your last one, he feels somewhat wronged by your behaviour. It's not his fault he was too shy to just start babbling about, even if that's what you might want.

He can feel a familiar heat crawl up his neck, whether from shame, embarrassment or anger - he can't tell. Jimin wants to talk to you. So what's stopping him? His fear of abandonment? His innate ability to drive away those he loves? The possibilities spin through his mind, fueling the insecurities that burn fiercely within.

Whatever it is, the answer to his questions are not yet transparent, and he refuses to bend backwards to figure it out. In the end, this struggle would all be for nothing; you are a temporary piece on this board of chess, a queen who will fall if he gets any closer. When camp ends, so will whatever this is. It happens, it's life. Right?

And in that case, is this the reason why Jimin is currently making his way over to you, palms clammy as he wracks his mind for a conversation starter, for something, anything to say?

You raise an eyebrow when you see the boy approaching you. Oh, he finally wants to talk now? You scoff but hold back on a clipped comment, knowing how sensitive Jimin can sometimes get. You don't exactly know him that well yet either, though you honestly wouldn't put it past him to spring a knife on you if you say something that doesn't sit well with him.

"Yes?" You question as your roommate halts in your wake, his eyes gleaming unsurely in the midst of the early morning sunlight.

He peers at you, seemingly conflicted. He opens his mouth, closes it, and opens it again like a fish. The cycle continues a couple times before you begin to find it humorous. You hold it in though, for his sake, and gesture for him to just spit it out already.

"...Are you mad at me?"

The question stikes you silly, and you are hardly able resist the urge to actually burst out laughing. So it has been a misunderstanding. Here you are, pondering over the trillions of possibilities as to why this boy could be mad at you, yet him thinking you are mad at him not being a single one.

Still, you are incredulous at this revelation, and you do your best to express it in the most unassuming way possible.

"Me? I thought you were mad at me!" You cry, eyes almost bugging out of your skull with vexation. Jimin tilts his head, slightly furrowing his eyebrows in perplexion.

The way his hair moves across his forehead as he tilts his head makes your heart flip, but you push the feeling away. It must be low blood pressure from your lack of proper meals the past day and night. Looking at the shifts in Jimin's expressions, it seems a lightbulb has flickered to life with the way his eyes glaze over in realization.

"Ah, I see.." He breathes, almost in relief, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards. Your eyes widen for a millisecond at the unusual display of emotion, but then he shocks you even further when takes two large steps towards you. Now he's suddenly right in front of you, impossibly close with you craning your head back to look up at him.

"..Uh..?" You whisper in confusion, furrowing your eyebrows as his hands slowly rise up to your face.

In a flash, Jimin grabs the drawstrings of the hoodie and quickly pulls, scrunching up the hood and masking your face from view like you had done earlier at the campsite.

"J-Jimin?!" You squeak as you hear the pounding of footsteps and a quiet chuckle that reminds you of a chuffing tiger.

Astounded, you struggle to pull the hood from your face. When you do, the only thing you see is a glimpse of Jimin's white shirt before he disappears behind a tangle of large branches. A twinge of fear pulls at your gut and you take off after him, afraid that you might lose him in the thicket of eternal tree trunks.

It doesn't occur to you that the usually stoic boy just showed you his way of having fun. Of joking around, of horse play. Why exactly was it so strange to you? Shouldn't you be happy that he's acting like this so openly? You aren't sure how you're supposed to feel but, for now, you can only think about how worried you've become at this sudden surfacing of positive growth.

Was he perhaps.. warming up to you? It's a thought so obscure that you almost laugh out loud at yourself but as you catch up to Jimin moments later, you are almost rendered speechless at the sight of him smiling.

It's a genuine, toothy smile that reaches his sparkling eyes and you're shocked to see the sight of his pearly whites. But as quickly as it comes, it goes, wiped from his face in seconds as he turns away to face a dirt path that leads through a somewhat familiar scene with trees, trees, more trees and-

Was that.. smoke? It billows through the tops of the trees, its fading grey fingers curling up into the morning sky. You've half a mind to jump up and scream with joy. A campfire! And from the looks of it, a big one. Of course, one can never be entirely sure that said smoke doesn't come from illegal and possibly murderous poachers camping nearby, but the chance is considerably slim.

Jimin feels himself tensing up beside you. So this is it, huh? His blissfully isolated alone-time with you was finally coming to an end. Disappointment curls in his stomach; things would go back to how they used to be, wouldn't they? He almost wants to pick you up and carry you back through the trees and into the small clearing where you'd spent the night. Where he'd made some of the happiest memories in a long time.

Of course, semi-kidnapping you back into the forest was out of the question. The last thing he wants is for you to hate him, avoid him like the plague, to shun him too just like the others-

You suddenly grab his hand without a warning, immediately stopping his train of thought- and if he isn't mistaken, there's a tiny blush on your cheeks. His heart skips at least three beats, the way your slender fingers curl around his bigger hand making his insides feel all kinds of warm and fuzzy.

The smile you shoot him is dazzling as you practically drag him by his hand towards what is, hopefully, camp. Running after you, he hesitantly entwines his fingers with yours, too.

—

Who knew isolation could be so blissful. After having been swarmed by fellow campers with a hurricane of concern, curiosity, and wonder how you hadn't been eaten alive by a cave bear, the camp supervisors had mercifully decided to send you and your socially inept partner to your cabin to relax. Formalities and questions would be dealt with tomorrow.

You take one long lazy look around your temporary living space. Sleep looks irresistible, almost delectable right about now. You let out a lengthy yawn as you plop down on your bed, all the drained energy and missing sleep from your little expedition suddenly hitting you like a brick.

Jimin, at the other end of your shared room, seems in a rather similar state to you, oddly enough. You can't recall him ever even so much as expressing the need to sleep- no yawning, no eye rubbing, nothing. Maybe some good old fresh air wore down his vampiric tendencies a bit. Your roommate has already silently shuffled into his own bed, albeit horizontally, although that didn't seem to bother him at all.

As much as you would like falling asleep on the spot, diving in the peaceful silence between you and Jimin, the way the bends of your arms and the hairs in your neck stick together tells you that you need a shower, desperately.

Already kicking off your shoes, you do your best not to fall asleep on your feet walking towards the small bathroom, having just enough presence of mind left to grab a pair of clean pyjamas before entering. Once inside, you basically rip off your sweaty clothes and toss them Kobe-style into a hamper nearby.

The cold water hitting your skin feels like bliss after a while of overheating. When you emerge, you can feel more like an actual human being rather than a caveman with the bodily hygiene of an ape. You get dressed and leave the bathroom with a sigh and a tired, relieved smile on your lips.

Jimin props himself up on his elbows, his gaze lingering on you a lot longer than necessary. You might not be aware, but he notices right away; above your cozy pyjamas, you've automatically thrown on something else - his hoodie. His hoodie. That strange sensation he always seems to get when he sees you drowning in his jacket creeps up his throat again to grasp him in a chokehold.

You take notice of Jimin's fall-back into staring out of the corner of your eye, but it bothers you strangely little. It would appear that, while mostly being incredibly, cripplingly awkward, being lost in the woods with your cabin mate had somehow brought you closer in a mutual, silent way. Maybe a peaceful co-existence is possible for the two of you after all.

With shallow motions you crawl under your blanket, turning so you face Jimin's side of the room. With your last bit of conscience, you shoot your groggy cabin mate an exhausted, yet earnest smile. And before you're out like a light, you can still see him inconspicuously reciprocate your action, all while gazing intently as if you might disappear if he so much as glances away.

His smile... your mind slips into a state of comatose, your heavy eyelids finally closing as your train of thought drifts into dreamland. The dark haired boy listens as your breaths grow heavy, watching as your body relaxes beneath the sheets. His eyes flicker around the room, his face subsequently heating up.

Her smile is really nice.  Jimin thinks bashfully as he settles into bed, facing away from you, and quickly pulling his blanket over his head. Just a simple thought, but if only you could see the grin on his face right now.

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[heavencollins]

Top 10 Films of 2020: Part One

2020 was a rough year for a lot of reasons, but even more rough due to the lack of an existent film industry for over half of the year.  Sure, there are small productions happening and movies being released on VOD, as well as some in theatres, but so many great films were pushed back this year—movies I was excited to possibly have on my top ten.  Minari, Promising Young Woman, Zola, The Green Knight, Saint Maud.  Okay most of those are A24 releases but A24 literally released next to none of their slate for this year and it’s one of the most disappointing things to happen in the entertainment industry in my opinion.  

Alas, I still found cinema through streaming, paying $20 for a VOD rental, and those amazing $1.80 rentals from Redbox (remember when they were only a dollar?  because I do).  And honestly?  It was probably the hardest time curating a top ten that I’ve had in a long time; with so much just available through the internet and owning every single popular streaming service, it was both impossible to watch everything I wanted but also since I watched a lot of what i wanted, I ended up loving most of it.  For a year that was so dismal in every other way possible, the films that were released ended up being a shining light more often than not.  Of course, like every other year, a lot of hot garbage came out too, but that isn’t the focus of this—the great, amazing, can’t believe these are real films.  

So let’s start from number ten.  This was my first and only $20 rental this year, starring a man who I personally admire: Pete Davidson.  

10. The King Of Staten Island, directed by Judd Apatow and written by Judd Apatow, Pete Davidson, and Dave Sirus.  

Judd Apatow is one of the first directors who I watched religiously, and hearing that he was doing a film with Pete Davidson that was essentially based on Davidson’s life meant that I knew I’d have to watch it.  Scott, played by Davidson, is a twenty-something with no direct path in life; he lives with his mother, his sister is going off to college—something he never attempted—and he has no real career.  His father died in a large building structure fire, much like Davidson’s actual father, a firefighter who passed away while responding to the twin towers during 9/11.  Scott is emotionally a wreck, plagued with depression and anxiety, a chronic weed smoker, and dreams of being a tattoo artist that he practices by tattooing his group of rag-tag friends, but none of the tattoos are very great.  

The thing about an Apatow film is they border the line between comedy and drama very well, kind of a complicated little dance.  But, King of Staten Island is very much a drama more than a comedy.  Bill Burr plays Ray, the father of a kid that Scott tattoos earlier on in the film.  Ray comes stomping up to Scott’s mother’s house, and Margie, played by Marissa Tomei, opens the door.  It’s essentially love at first sight.  She hasn’t dated since Scott’s father passed, and to make matters worse, Ray is also a firefighter.  This complicates emotions for Scott, as he loves his mother but also doesn’t know how to deal with the feeling that his mother is finally moving on and may face heartbreak again.  

Davidson puts it all on the table in this film.  It’s poignant and realistic; at the start, Scott is driving down the highway and closes his eyes, way longer than you should.  It sets the tone from the start that this man isn’t okay, but also he’s scared of dying because as soon as he opens his eyes again and sees he may be about to crash, he quickly panics and readjusts his wheel.  This struck a chord with me as most people know that Davidson has struggled with suicidal thoughts in the past.  It’s a beautiful film that memorializes both how much Davidson’s father meant to him, but also the cycles of grief and trauma that last throughout your life.  

9: Birds of Prey (and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn), directed by Cathy Yan and written by Christina Hodson.

Suicide Squad is one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen period, fact.  Birds of Prey is one of the best movies I’ve ever seen period, fact.  I never, ever, ever thought I’d see a day where a DC movie was in my top ten, but this year anything is possible.  Birds of Prey is a display of feminism, badassery, and all around perfection.  You jump right into the story, hearing Margot Robbie’s classic Harley Quinn voice laid over an animation showing what we missed in her life so far, which means you don’t have to have any previous knowledge of the other films.  Birds of Prey is meant to stand alone from any other movie preceding this one, and that’s just part of why it’s so great.

This film knows not to take itself too seriously.  Margot Robbie is a dream as Harley Quinn, using just the right amount of playfulness to put a little edge on her, while also maintaining the manic-panic-pixie-dream-girl effect.  Perhaps the best scene is when Harley goes and purchases the perfect egg breakfast sandwich, and then she drops it, causing a dramatic slow motion effect that proves she really does love that sandwich more than anything in the world.  Or her realistic apartment, nothing truly fancy, just a little hole in the wall above a rundown Chinese restaurant.  But then she has an amazing ensemble of other women actors around her, which are what really uplift her performance. 

The funhouse fight scene at the end may be the best in superhero movie history.  I mean, I guess, is Harley Quinn really a superhero?  She’s kind of the anti-hero, which is what makes her so great.  She’s somebody who isn’t even close to perfect but she still succeeds and tries to help and uplift the other women on her team.  There’s just something special about this movie that made me smile and laugh the entire time.  It’s a reminder that it’s okay to have fun every once in a while.  

8: The Assistant, directed and written by Kitty Green.

For those who don’t know, I work as an assistant during the day for a small business here in Vermont.  The work is mundane but it’s a job that’s giving me experience for the future.  In The Assistant, Jane, played by Julia Garner, is an assistant to a “powerful entertainment mogul.”  She gets lunch, answers phones, is the first one into the office, the last one out of the office, finds herself overshadowed by her male counterparts and getting the majority of the “grunt” work, and becomes more and more aware of what’s really going on at this office throughout a day in her life.  

What’s interesting about this film is nothing is ever seen; everything Jane starts to feel is just based on intuition.  Her boss is tricky, finding ways to keep his abuse of women out of the public eye, out of the eye of any female employees.  This is obviously in response to #MeToo, Times Up, and the Harvey Weinstein news from the last few years, and it works surprisingly well as a film that just unnerves you and gets under your skin.  

The reality of assault in the film industry is that until it’s widely public and known, nobody is going to know about it.  You can report it to your company, to other women, to other men, to anybody, and nobody will take you seriously until they either experience it themselves or know somebody else who has.  The Assistant hits the ball out of the park with the ending, even if it doesn’t give a vindictive satisfaction to viewers, because it’s simply the truth of the matter.  

7: Tenet, directed and written by Christopher Nolan.

I really don’t know what to say about this one.  It’s really controversial to like it but I absolutely LOVED this movie, it’s pure fucking vibes.  A lot of people are cinema purists, which I am not, and will never claim to be, which was a huge deal with this film.  Personally, this works way better at home than it ever would in a theater.  It’s slightly long, the sound mixing makes it so it can be hard to hear dialogue over loud noises and the score, and it’s the type of movie you may have to rewind  a few times.  

My partner and I watched this in 4K Ultra HD with subtitles on, and let me tell you, it was amazing.  Everything about the acting, the diversity in the film, the fact that Nolan literally has a character say “Don’t try to understand it, just experience it”???? VIBES.  That’s all I can say about it.  Plus, Elizabeth Debicki plays an actual badass who stands against her abuser and that enough is five stars.  A tall queen standing up against her short joker—absolute feminism.  

Sure, no character gets any development, but is that seriously necessary for every film?  It’s an action flick about time and space and none of it makes sense and you can’t force it to.  Why does everything need to make sense in a time where we are literally living through a pandemic?  Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the experience of Tenet.  It’s more fun when you don’t take it seriously.  

6: The Devil All The Time, directed by Antonio Campos and written by Antonio Campos, Donald Ray Pollock, and Paulo Campos.

I never read the book this was based on, but this film made me want to.  I love a film where multiple plot lines converge into one central story and this one did it so well, all with the same theme surrounding every single character: the guilt of sin and how no matter how much you think you can save yourself, you can’t truly save yourself.  I’m not a huge fan of Tom Holland, but he shines as Arvin from beginning to end.  Pattinson brings a creepy southern preacher to life with an accent that he will never be able to match again.  Keough gives a performance you can only sympathize with as you know she’s being manipulated the entire time.  Every character in this is corrupt in their own way but some in worse ways than others.

I don’t know how much to say about this one without spoiling it, either, because the core of this film is on the characters and what leads to their untimely ends, because pretty much everybody ends up dead.  It’s grim and dark but it’s so beautiful and tells the story in a way that keeps you interested throughout the entire run time.  It surprised me but there’s never truly been a Robert Pattinson starring movie that I’ve hated, so am I really surprised?  I’m a TwiHard at heart even at age 22. 

[junhaoshua]

HOME;RUN - an analysis

So our boys SLAYED in this comeback and I am in love with the concept so much!! Seventeen in suits gets my heart fluttering ~

After watching the MV a couple of times (and being in awe of how good it is), this theory occurred to me:

The diamond represents stardom and CARATS; the MV is all about SEVENTEEN’s journey as idols and their relationship with CARATS.

A scene-by-scene analysis of the MV under the cut!

(and the awesome header above is by @soonhoonsol​ who is incredibly talented and came up with this masterpiece in less than an hour!)

I’m going to put this disclaimer up front: these are just my theories and other interpretations are totally valid. I love all thirteen boys, and I think they have really good relationships with each other! So if I bring up past incidents or controversies, it’s from a place of love. I’m not trying to stir drama or criticize them. This essay is a love letter to them because I personally find the MV so meaningful. Also, I’ve been a Carat less than a year (this is my second comeback, fourth comeback if you count Japan releases) so please tell me if I’ve made mistakes ~

S.Coups and the baseball

When the MV starts, Seungcheol’s hit a wall, literally. (Additional symbolism regarding the wall to come later.)

Why? If you think back to the start of Coups’ career, he was training with NU’EST but he didn’t get to debut with them; he hit a wall at the start when it came to debut. Then, the diamond hits him: Seventeen comes along (and with that, Carats) and it changes his life, launching him to the public eye and stardom.

But at the same time, the diamond hits him on the head and knocks him out for a while, and this is kinda symbolic of his hiatus last year. He took a break because of his anxiety; anxiety caused by knowing how much the fans love him, and not wanting to let them down. The impact of idol life made him feel so pressured that he needed to take a step back.

But! At the end, Coups picks up the diamond again; he’s ready to resume his journey, and perform for Carats!!

Mingyu, Wonwoo, and Seokmin at the bar

The scene cuts from Coups to the boys at the bar, and I can think of a few reasons for the choices!

Firstly, Mingyu. Gyu’s the one who gave the shoutout to Coups during their daesang acceptance speech while he was on his hiatus. That was a huge moment in their careers - recognition not just from their diamond fans, but also from the general public.

Secondly, Wonwoo. He’s had his own struggles with anxiety and not feeling good enough too, and he’s shared before that he wonders what he has to make fans love him. (Also, I love the Wonwoo-Coups gamer-bro bond ~)

Then we have DK, and I feel like the choice of DK here is because he’s a leader too, even if we forget that often. Back when it was announced DK would be leading BSS, he cited Coups as his inspiration for being a good leader; he’s watching Coups’ example.

(I’m not totally certain about the symbolism here though, so feel free to chime in!)

Hoshi, Jun, and Dino’s dance

Our performance unit leader’s the one who first appears and starts dancing; he’s the choreographer, and the one that the members look to when performing!

(Other than that, I don’t think there’s a lot of deep symbolism; it’s just a fun dance break lol. The dance breaks are all just cool choreo moments ~)

Vernon and the gambling den

This scene basically focuses on Hansol, who’s just chilling and vibing while everyone else is fighting.

The background of this set is some sort of gambling den, and we see chips and cards flying around. What do people associate with gambling? Money. Think back to the early days of Vernon’s career; he was involved in Show Me The Money, and it caused a ton of controversy and undeserved hate.

Yet, in the midst of all this chaos, Hansol’s just rapping and vibing, because our boy rose above all the hate that was directed at him to become an amazing rapper!! Also he’s just so chill all the time and we love him for it ~ that’s how he gets hold of the diamond in the midst of this chaos!!!

(also, he passes it to Minghao. Why does he pass it to Hao? idk can’t really explain. Any ideas?)

The8 and Joshua in the car

For this scene, we switch to black and white, which kinda shows that there’s a certain nostalgia here.

Minghao’s holding the diamond and looking at it carefully, with a certain distance. As we all know, Hao’s someone who’s very realistic; he reminds us of the distance between idols and fans, and doesn’t do any of the flirty playing around. But it doesn’t mean that he loves and treasures us less! It’s because he cares about Carats that he wants us to remember to lead our own lives and focus on ourselves too ~

Meanwhile, Shua’s driving the car. Why the deliberate choice of Hao and Shua? They’re the ones who had to travel to get that diamond; they left their homes to come to Korea to become stars and in doing so, earn the fans’ love. It’s been a long, hard road, and I respect them so much for taking it.

(What about Jun and Hansol? I’m sure some of you will ask. Hansol isn’t really foreign line; he was born and raised in Korea, there wasn’t any travelling. As for Jun, he was a highly-acclaimed child star with his own fans and career before he travelled to Korea to become a part of Seventeen, so he wasn't really chasing stardom.)

Dino and Wonwoo on the train

After the theatre dance break, our maknae gets on that train and promptly starts searching everywhere for the diamond. 

Why? In my opinion, Chan’s criminally underappreciated in the fandom; he’s so so incredible (just look at his rap + visuals here!), but he just doesn’t get enough love from the fans; that’s why he’s trying so hard to get that diamond! (also, give Dino more respect yall, he deserves it)

Wonwoo’s also searching for the diamond. Remember the analysis earlier: he doesn’t think that he has much presence or charisma to attract fans. He’s looking for the love and fans too.

Mingyu and Jeonghan on the train

Two things to note before we break down the scene: they’re probably the ones with the diamond at the start of this scene (since they’re the thieves in the newspaper), but by the next scene, they’ve somehow lost the diamond to Wonwoo.

Firstly, we see that Gyu and Hannie both cover their faces. They’re largely considered to be two of the best visuals in the group. I believe this represents a fear of theirs; that without their looks, they’ll lose the fans’ love.

Secondly, they run away from the train (likely leaving the diamond behind). Both Jeonghan and Mingyu have taken time away from the public eye lately. Hannie suffered from dizziness because he pushed himself so hard to perform for us, not wanting to disappoint Carats, until his body forced him to take a break. Gyu basically disappeared from view during the Itaewon controversy and all the hate he was getting. Thus, them running away from the train symbolises them taking a break from the idol life.

Wonwoo and Minghao examining the diamond

Wonwoo has the diamond now, and he’s got it under a magnifying glass and he’s examining it closely. 

The magnifying glass gives you the chance to see something’s flaws. With the recent Curry incident, Wonwoo’s seen the ugly side of stardom (personal take: yes he messed up, but I do think it was an honest mistake, please no discourse in the comments). He looks at it, he sees the flaws, and he puts it down; he’s examined it for flaws and he needs to take some time away from being an idol (see: him basically going off the radar for a while there).

Why does Minghao grab the diamond and run off with it? A ton of things happened to SVT in recent months, which are largely referenced in chronological order: Coups’ hiatus > Jeonghan’s hiatus > Itaewon incident > Curry incident > The Tag and Minghao getting a ton of attention.

Hao really shone so much in The Tag for his cool attitude; he got talked about everywhere, GoSe views shot up, and new Carats were converted! (The attention on Hao also helped the controversies to start dying down, because the news had something new and interesting to talk about.) Beyond GoSe, Hao's just been getting a ton of attention lately - Falling Down, more screen time, and more lines! (I've been so bias wrecked by him it's not even funny.) He really be running off with the diamond and all the love from the fandom that he deserves ~

(personally, I really hope that The Tag will be the start of a nice, peaceful period, with lots of love and no incidents for our diamond boys ~)

Seungkwan and the pool table

After a fun bowling alley dance break, the diamond lands on the pool table and people start fighting over it before Seungkwan gets fed up and throws the diamond at the camera.

The moment I saw this scene, I was reminded of the fight in OFD (aka probably the only time SVT has really, actually fought onscreen). The thing about shows is that so much is done for “entertainment”. In the media industry, there’s a need to create drama to keep viewers watching and people interested. It’s an ugly, toxic part of stardom. I really, really hated that part of OFD; how hard the PDs pushed the boys to keep things entertaining, causing the hyper-competitive spirit and all the drama, was just too much for me.

But in OFD, Seungkwan worked really hard to reconcile the two teams, and to me that’s Seungkwan. He’s the one who’s good at variety and a drama queen, but he cares about the others so much. He’s not going to let stardom and the need to be entertaining actually, really affect their relationships. If the need to put on a show for the camera is creating conflict? Break the camera.

(also, pay attention to the newspaper at the end of this segment: the diamond is literally named the Carat Star - doesn’t it make sense that it symbolises CARATs and stardom?)

Jun, Woozi, and the brick wall

We’re back where the MV started at the brick wall, which I believe to be the brick wall from the L&R MV.

Jun just sees the diamond and… stops and blinks. Honestly the expression on his face is peak comedy right there and I feel like that’s so Jun. Thoughtful, quiet (at least on camera), observant, and just… intensely and effortlessly funny?! I’ve always felt that he’s someone who’s so incredibly gifted - visuals, vocals, dance - and he needs more love ~ (oops my ult bias is showing)

On the other hand, Woozi goes up there, grabs his bat, and breaks the glass to get the diamond. This has a couple of interpretations for me. As Seventeen’s producer, Woozi’s the one taking charge of their music; so much of their success from the start is because of his production (not forgetting Hoshi’s choreo, Vernon’s writing, Coups’ leadership, and the overall OT13!) He really takes charge of their musical sound, which has been so important in their rise to stardom and getting CARATs to slip into the diamond life.

Also, remember how I said we’re at the L&R wall? Heng:garae was Seventeen’s most successful comeback to date, and they shattered a ton of their previous records, just like Jihoon’s out here breaking the glass!

OT13 and Forever Diamond

In the last scene, we get a huge OT13 dance with fireworks and the words “Forever Diamond” in the background.

This scene actually made me cry the first time I saw it. The words made me think of that Weverse post that got Hoshi crying: even if one day Seventeen isn’t performing any more, they’ll still have been a part of our lives, and we’ll hear their names and remember that they were a part of our lives that brought us joy. The members have often talked about how much they all mean to each other, and how they hope that their relationship can last forever (see: HTR and also the Going 70 segment of Caratland). They’ve also expressed their hope that we’ll continue to love them for a long time. (dang why the heck am I crying while typing this)

“Forever Diamond” encapsulates the relationship that SEVENTEEN and CARATs have so well: they’re our diamond boys, and we’ve slipped into the diamond life. We’re both each other’s forever diamonds. 

To the last say the name, and beyond!

Tagging: @hyeri-yah​ and @leannehuang​ bc the two of you liked hearing the initial draft of this long theory ~

[princeasimdiya12]

Hello! I’m sorry this took very long :[[[[. It took long because I actually write it only when an inspo comes in so I stop writing the fic from time to time! But I hope you like it and I’m sorry if I won’t pass your expectation 💓💓

The Huntsman and the Green Maiden (ToshInko Snow White AU)

When Toshinori told his self that he needed to work to save enough money, he didn’t expect it to be an assasination mission.

“It’s not an assasination mission,” the Evil Queen clarifies as soon as she sees Toshi’s skeptical face, “I just want you to get rid of her, that’s all.”

“It is…” Toshi spoke at the back of his head but chose to kept his mouth shut anyway.

“Why do you want to get rid of this…maiden badly?” Toshi asks as his fingertips play with the rim of his glass the Evil Queen has offered earlier.

The queen stares at the nosy huntsman, her eyebrows flinching slightly as she shrugged, “Just because.”

Upon hearing the townsfolk talk about how the palace is in need of skilled huntsmen, Toshi did not hesitate on heading to the queen’s palace. She always had a bad reputation on her people but Toshi, giving her the benefit of the doubt, went anyway and the result? He has proven that she indeed is evil as her name suggests.

Toshi is not clean to begin with. He has killed before with his bare hands. Any form of living as long as it is crucial for his survival. He has long retired from hunting but now that he needs the gold, he’s back from the start and somehow, he despises it.

“Will you take it, huntsman?” The Evil Queen says in a modulated voice that implies intimidation and dominance.

Toshi’s sunken eyes blinked once before exhaling heavily, “Yes.”

An impressed grin creeps in to the Queen’s lips, satisfied by the huntsman’s response, “Excellent. I want the job done in three weeks. The Magic Mirror says she hides in the magical forest, struggling to survive as of. I want you to find her and finish her,” she instructs with her voice laced with amusement.

“But I don’t know her face…” Toshi mutters.

“Oh, you will know once you see her,” now the Evil Queen sounds sarcastic as she clicked her tongue, “She’s the fairest maiden of them all, after all. Also, it’s hard for her not to stand out with her green hair.”

Ar first, you didn’t want to believe the Evil Queen. A person with green hair? Ridiculous. A maiden who hides in the middle of a magic forest? More ridiculous.

----

Huntsmen and adventurers try to avoid the magic forest as much as possible. As its name suggests, unknown forces of magic lurk around its trees. Stories of people who never returned from the forest increase from time to time and this sends shivers all throughout Toshi’s spine.

He’s never tried on going inside the forest himself. He’s never been in a situation wherein he needs to go.

“It’s not as eerie as the rumors make it sound…” Toshi thoughts to his self as he passes through thick roots of an old tree.

“Not bad…” Toshi rests after walking for hours, deciding to settle for a while under the shade of an enormous tree, wiping the sweat off of his forehead.

The rumors about the magic must be a bluff. He’s been walking on its domain for a while and so far? So good. No weird creatures suddenly appearing before him or whatsoever.

That’s what he thought.

Before he knew it, a striking pain hits his nape. He failed on reaching for his neck as his vision suddenly spins, confusing him. He tries to stand up, attempting to escape the unknown force that has attacked him but he fails once again as he falls to the ground, with his head hitting first.

He groans, slowly fluttering his eyes as he hallucinates of hearing laughter of children. Toshi tries to crawl but goes in to a halt when the illusion of laughter he heard goes louder and louder.

“Hell yeah! Die, you scum!”

“Wait, Kacchan!”

He couldn’t even distinguish if it’s his mind playing tricks with him or he actually hear children’s voices near him. Toshi then figures out it was the latter when he groans as a fistful of his hair gets pulled up.

“I WIN!” A blonde child literally speaks in front of Toshi’s face, making him close his eyes as droplets of his…Toshi would rather not know what it is splattered in to his face.

“NO ONE SURVIVES MY BOMB KILLING DART!” The blond child screams in a very chaotic manner Toshi couldn’t understand what the grinning child was trying to say.

“K-Kacchan! You’re not supposed to hurt people!” Another child with a frightened boy goes near this ‘Kacchan’. His green hair exploding all over as his round eyes glistened with tears.

“Huh? Don’t boss me around, dumb Deku!” Kacchan spats angrily as he lets go of Toshi’s hair.

Groaning, Toshi-who has recovered from the dizziness and the pain from his nape at this point-sits as he looks at the children in front of him.

“Bu-But, Kacchan-”

“What?! You want to die, huh?!” The aggressive Kacchan retorted as he flicks this Deku’s forehead, making the latter wince and the tears stream on his face.

“Kacchan!” He attempts on growling only to sound like a whine. Ignoring his friend, Deku glances at bewildered Toshi.

“Hello, Sir, are you lost?” He asks Toshi amidst his tears and his blushing forehead.

“DEKU, DON’T IGNORE ME, YOU-”

“No, I’m actually looking for someone,” Toshi groaned after inhaling, “Are you two from this forest?”

“OY, DON’T YOU USELESS SCUMS IGNORE ME-”

“We live here,” Deku cheerfully replies as he offers his hand adorned with wornout gloves, “My name is Deku, Sir. And that guy is Kacchan-”

“DON’T CALL ME KACCHAN-”

“It’s your name!” Deku points out before ignoring his comrade once again, looking at Toshi who unexplainably grinning glancing at the children in front of him, “Who are you looking for, Sir?”

Toshi looks away, finding it hard to reveal that he’s looking for the fairest lady, “I’m looking for someone…with green hair…”

Toshi and Deku both fell silent, staring at each other. Toshi then realizes that this Deku literally has green hair.

Swaying his hands furiously in the air and head shooking, “No…No… it’s not what you think.”

“Are you…” Deku says as he takes a step back, going beside Kacchan once again, his brows furrowed and his eyes wide clearly because of fear, “Are you here to kidnap me?”

“That’s not it!”

“Kacchan! He’s here to kidnap me!”

“I told you, it’s not it-”

“DIE, YOU BASTARD!”

----

That pretty much explains how Toshinori is following the lead of these two forest children as they take him to their home.

He couldn’t help but question if it was a right thing to follow them deeper in to the woods whenever he sees Deku and Kacchan have contradicting directions.

“We turn right!”

“N-No, Kacchan. Turn left before right-”

“ARE YOU SAYING I’M WRONG?”

Toshinori, silent at the back, only stares at the children bickering as they guide him along the misleading trees, telling him stories of their everyday adventures and few of their 'friends’ left behind the cottage.

In all honesty…Toshi couldn’t care less. He’s not very interested with Deku and Kacchan’s adventures, or the rest of their friends. The only reason he’s following these kids is…

“Feeling tired, Sir Toshi?” Deku looks back at him with his eyes beaming, beads of sweat adorning the side of his forehead as he jumps from a huge root, “Don’t worry, we’re almost there! We’ll let Inko heal your wound.”

“Hmph! If he couldn’t handle walks like these, then he doesn’t deserve to see Inko!”

“Kacchan!”

Right. The only reason he is here is for this lady who goes by the name Inko. When Deku invited him to his cottage, he wanted to refuse, finding it an unnecessary detour for his quest. But what caught his interest was that Inko is, according to Kacchan, a badass woman with green hair but is way more beautiful than dumb Deku’s.

Toshi’s speculation could be wrong but he is willing to take the risk. The way Kacchan has described this Inko totally fits the maiden the Evil Queen wants him to find.

“We’re here!” Deku exclaims the moment they see a poorly-made fence out of sticks surrounding a small cottage.

“Oy, stupid idiots!” Kacchan exclaims as he nonchalantly follows the path towards the cottage, “Were here!”

Toshi looks at Kacchan and Deku brisk walking towards the cottage in glee. He looks at the surroundings after. Tall trees surrounded the cottage adorned with different plants that he knew where edible. On the right side is where a well errects surrounded by small wooden chairs and different gardening tools. They basically have everything they need here to survive…

“Deku, Kacchan, welcome back! How was it?”

“Heh! It was boring!”

“It was fun! And Inko, I’m sorry. We weren’t able to get the flowers you requested!”

“Oh, Deku, it’s alright. Don’t cry, please!”

Enchanted by the sweet voice, Toshi took his gaze off the mesmerizing well, looking back at the cottage and with one glance, he immediately knew this was the fair maiden the queen was looking for.

“Bu-But we brought a friend! Toshinori, Sir!”

Not minding Deku’s call, Toshi’s eyes lingers at the woman named Inko. Indeed, she had beautiful green hair now that he sees it exploding with the gentle wind. Her green eyes are wide as she stares at him as if he were a puzzle meant to be answered. Her head slightly wobbling to the side which made Toshi look at her chubby cheeks.

“Deku…” Ah, he hears it again. Her voice sounded quite dreamy as he unconsciously took a step forward.

She knelt to match the children’s height, which was not really necessary given that her height is close with theirs. Her hands dragging Kacchan and Deku slowly towards her back as her curious eyes become wary of his presence.

“Who…who are you?” She asks. It was clear how terrified she was and yet, she remained firm looking at him.

He didn’t really care of how she sees him, honestly. She could be doing anything and he’d stare at her all day, completely mesmerized by her adorable frame.

But Toshi knew it was rude to remain silent especially if a lady has asked you. He clears his throat, hoping his voice is in its best condition even after that long walk, “Uh…I am-”

“That dumb scum is Toshinori and he’s a loser,” Kacchan cuts him off with an annoyed face.

“Kacchan!” Deku exclaims, clearly unimpressed of Kacchan’s indifference, “Inko, don’t listen to Kacchan. That’s Sir Toshinori, a friend! Also, Kacchan hit him in the nape with his slingshot.”

“It’s not a slingshot. It’s Bomb Killing Dart.”

“Oh my!” Now gone was the wary face of Inko. She looks at Kacchan with a horrified look in her face. Her brows pulled together as her hands gently went to his shoulders, “Kacchan, didn’t I tell you we don’t hit friends?”

Kacchan pouts beneath his scowling face, “He’s not a friend. He’s dumb!”

Inko’s brows furrowed deeper with an obvious frown in her lips, “Kacchan…” She speaks in a modulated voice, showing how she’s unimpressed.

Kacchan’s cheeks turns in to red as he becomes flustered, somehow feeling humiliated he is being lectured, “Fine!”

Kacchan looks at Toshinori, back with the disgusted face, “I’m sorry for hitting you with my Bomb Killing Dart.”

Toshinori, not really paying attention to his half-assed apology, gave the child a nod, “It’s alright. I wasn’t hurt.” What a load of bull as he remembers at the back of his mind how distorted he felt for a couple of seconds.

Snapping back in to reality, he stares at Inko in awe as she walks her way towards him. The ends of her skirt rustling against the trimmed grass. Her hair flying all around as she now holds his calloused hands.

“Soft…” Toshi comments at the back of his mind.

“I’m really sorry for what Kacchan did to you, Sir Toshinori!” Inko bows and you noticed how her hair is made stylishly with a small bun.

Toshi, breaking free from getting petrified for a good three seconds, becomes flustered as he registers Inko is holding his hands, “I-its alright! I don’t mind!”

“Thank goodness!” Now Inko stands straight, her face looking relieved with his answer. Her brows are up and a sweet smile creeps in to her lips, her eyes turning in to crescent moons.

A little repetitive but Toshi is in awe again now that Inko is literally only a couple of centimeters away from him. Being this close, he sees how her skin is very fair and how pretty the sunlight reflected in to her beautiful green eyes. Not to mention, her thin lashes casted soft shadows underneath, which made her look so beautiful.

“But we still must treat your wound!” Inko says as she snaps, frowning at you but in a funny manner, “Kacchan’s slingshots can sometimes be too-”

“BOYS, READY!”

Surprised after hearing another voice, Toshi’s gaze passes through Inko, going to the cottage’s doorway. He turns pale as he sees four? No, five children with different hand-made weapons with them, all aimed towards him.

“ATTACK!”

“B-Boys!” Inko screams as Kacchan pulls her away from him, giving clear path for the children, “No!”

----

“Here, Sir Toshi….”

Toshinori looks up at the red haired child who is offering him a plate filled with food they’ve prepared. Toshi couldn’t help but glare at the red head, especially with that annoying smirk. This red head was the one leading the other children earlier.

“Thank you…” He says but his furrowed brows, glaring sunken eyes, and frowned lips says otherwise.

The red head sheepishly chuckles as he blushes while scratching his spiky hair, “We’re sorry for earlier…Kacchan was silently telling us that you were a threat; so we did that…”

Kacchan. He shouldn’t have underestimated that boy. He knew that child was a problem but he didn’t expect him to be this much of a problem.

“And you believed him?”

Toshi now looks at the purple head child with a blank stare in his face, bringing with him a cup filled with water.

“Shinsou…” Red head pouts, cheeks getting redder than it was, “Well, you guys believed in me as well!”

“Because you were persistent and we didn’t really have a choice,” the purple boy in which the red head called as 'Shinsou’ nonchalantly replies as he offers Toshi his cup.

“On behalf of my friends, I apologize for their stupidity,” he respectfully bows.

“Oy, Shinsou, who are you calling dumb?!”

“You and Kacchan.”

“M-Mean! I am not dumb. I am manly! Kacchan will hear of this!” Red head looks at Toshi again. He swears the red child looks like getting drowned with the red tint in his skin.

“M-My name is Kirishima, Sir!” The red head exclaims while bowing once more, “Please excuse me!”

Not waiting for Toshi’s reply, Kirishima vanishes from his sight.

“Please eat until your hearts content, Sir Toshinori…” He looks back at Shinsou who is still standing in front of him.

“I’m…not that hungry,” Toshinori says while looking at his bruises.

With Kirishima on the lead, they mercilessly attacked him with all their might using their hand-made guns, swords, and catapults. Being a huntsmen, fighting would’ve been a piece of cake. BUT it’s a different thing when you fight in front of a beautiful maiden.

Beat from walking and from Kacchan’s…Bomb Killing Dart, plus the children’s ambush, covered with bruises all over his body, of course he’d lose his appetite to eat.

“I don’t really care if you’re full or not,” Shinsou says with an indifferent tone, his eyes wandering around, “But Inko keeps on asking us to check on you. I can’t sleep well if she does that.”

Completely surprised, Toshinori immediately looks for Inko, only to catch her watching him. Both Inko and Toshinori taken aback of how the other caught them staring, they both looked away in synch.

“Thank you…” Toshinori says to Shinsou in a low voice, looking down, trying to conceal the blush in his cheeks.

At that moment, the quest could’ve ended if he killed Inko at that cottage. But there were things he had to consider, like the children. He was certain despite of their small physique, they would not hesitate on protecting Inko as she had become their mother.

----

“We own the cottage,” Shoto, one of the seven children, says in with his eyes looking down, fingers running through the grass as his feet is submerged in to the river, “Then we found Inko.”

“Wounded! And exhausted!” Testutetsu, who is oddly very similar with Kirishima’s physique and appearance-wise, screams in order to catch his attention.

Keeping his hands steady while holding the rod, Toshi looks at Tetsutetsu, “You found her?”

Shoto nods, the reflection of the crystal blue river reflecting on his eyes, “We treated her wounds and she didn’t leave us ever since. We like it, though,” he says with a small smile, “She takes care of us.”

“But there’s one thing that we don’t know about Inko,” Kirishima butts in with Denki, the seventh child, leaning on his back.

“We don’t know where Inko is from or what her life was before being with us,” Denki says, playing with the tips of Kirishima red hair.

“Deku thinks she was a princess…” Denki whispers as if they shouldn’t be heard, “Kacchan doesn’t buy it. He says Inko is a badass lady who rules the drunkards.”

“I don’t think Inko is in to that lifestyle…” Kirishima says with a doubting smile, “I think she is a princess, too!”

“But if she is a princess, why would she wander in to the magic forest?” Shoto asks hypothetically which made Kirishima and Denki shut up.

“What do you think, Toshinori, Sir?” Tetsutetsu asks, looking to Toshinori.

Toshi keeps his eyes glued at his bait, floating in the river, as if trying to avoid their looks. The guilt he has been disregarding for days creeps up into his heart, making him grip his rod tighter, his teeth digging to his flesh.

“I don’t know…” He says with gritted teeth.

He knew he was lying. He could easily get rid of the children if he wishes to. He has killed men and animals that are hundred times stronger than he is. Killing children would’ve been a piece of cake for him.

He knew that he purposely made excuses just for him to disregard the main purpose of his presence at this magical forest: to kill the fairest maiden of them all.

----

Undeniably, Inko is enchanting. But Toshi knew it was not all with the looks or with her mysterious green hair. It was with how kind she was to anything she touches, how gentle her words could be and how she resembled home to anyone.

It is true. Because he himself felt it, especially now as he stares at Inko, patiently waiting for him and the children, Kacchan and Deku’s heads on her lap. Her smile, gleaming brightly as ever as her shoulders raise in joy, waving at them. Nostalgic memories of Toshinori’s younger years flashes before his eyes with the mere exposure under Inko’s warmth.

“It feels like…” Toshi whispers under his breath, slowly taking off the net filled with fishes from his shoulders.

“HOME!” Kirishima, Denki, and Tetsutetsu screams as they run towards their cottage, leaving behind them the bashful Shoto.

“Children!” Inko giggles as Kirishima, Denki, and Tetsutetsu shower her with pepper kisses.

Kacchan and Deku groans as they get disrupted on their sleep, “YOU DUMB IDIOTS!” Kacchan growls, standing with his death glare on.

“K-Kacchan!”

“Ah! We woke Kacchan up!” Kirishima screams.

“RUN!”

“DIE!”

Your eyes trail towards the children who are now running away from Kacchan. Their loud laughter echoing across the terrain as they dance around the grass, bathing under the sun.

“Shoto…”

He looks at Inko who is now caressing Shoto’s arms. Again with that familiar smile in her face. Of all the looks she gave, that was Toshi’s favorite expression.

“Go play with the rest…” She coos using her soft voice, tucking her green hair behind her ear.

Shoto gives a curt nod before running towards the direction of his brothers, leaving Inko and Toshinori alone at the cottage’s doorstep.

Suddenly realizing this fact, Toshi stiffened, heart beat slightly raising as he stops his lips from grinning.

“Toshinori, thank you…”

Baffled, he looks at Inko. Her lips in a smile in between her flushed cheeks.

“For…?” Toshi asks, his brows slightly furrowed.

“For catching fish for us…” She chuckles, slightly scratching her cheek with her small finger, “We don’t really eat fish that much. No one is that excellent in catching fishes, not even Kacchan…” She says in a joking manner.

Toshi couldn’t help it. He smiles as he looks at Inko’s face. Slowly, he sits beside Inko, disregarding the fact that he’s slightly bothered by how close he is to him and how ridiculously small he is next to her. She would definitely fit in to his frame even though he is skinny himself-

Toshinori shook his head, trying to shake away his thoughts. Focus…focus…

“It’s nothing…” Toshi says nonchalantly, his eyes on the children who seem to be playing tag, “I…liked it,” he admitted.

“That’s good…” She comments, her face resting at her palms as she pulls up her knees, “The kids like you…”

Toshi made a face as he remembered how Denki and Kirishami pulled a prank on him on their way home. Not to mention, the way they treated him when they first met.

“I doubt that…” He spatted bitterly.

Inko chuckles, her shoulders slightly shaking along, “That’s not true. They like you. The moment you were able to catch a wild boar, you immediately captivated their hearts. They love meat,” she pointed out with as-a-matter-of-fact-voice.

Giving Inko a side glance, Toshi says, “You really love them, do you?”

Inko nods, “Very. I owe them my life. If it weren’t for them, I might not be here…” She says, the smile in her eyes slowly disappearing.

Toshi couldn’t help but to look away. Somehow, he feels guilty, especially that he knows the reason why she is at this state.

“I…grew up from a…bad place. I was banished from where I lived, you know…” Inko talks despite of Toshi’s silence, “I spent all my life inside the walls of my home and when they asked me to leave, I didn’t know what to do and before I knew it, I found myself wandering the magic forest.”

Toshi glances at Inko again, catching her fingers interlacing playfully from one another. Her eyes clearly in pain as she talks about her past.

“Then I woke up with Kacchan snuggled under my arms,” she laughs, “These seven children brought me to their cottage and before I knew it, I became attached.”

“Understandable,” Toshi nods, “They leave an impression,” he agrees, slowly looking at Inko who looked at him as well.

His blond hair slightly being swayed by the wind, he stares in to her eyes. Hoping he’d find answers to his confusion, of how troubled he is of what he is supposed to do next.

“You leave an impression…” He muttered so softly, not breaking his stare at her. Which made him see how her cheeks flushed with red tint.

“You leave an impression, too…” She says, completely flustered with how her voice went high, “… Toshinori, Sir.”

----

Living with the seven children and the fairest maiden in the middle of the magic forest felt like a bliss. A daydream he always had in his mind whenever he was out to hunt. A place he always envisioned whenever he was sick or was feeling nostalgic in a hot afternoon.

“Inko is good at making pumpkin pie!” Deku exclaims as he dreamily thinks of it, “She makes them so good I always ask for more!”

“You just love eating, Dumb Deku,” Kacchan says in an upset tone as he walks along Shoto, “It’s not that great!”

“Not that great? Quit being a liar, Kacchan. Real men don’t lie!” Kirishima snickers as he brings the smaller net filled with fish, “Plus, you also ask for more with Inko’s food!”

“No, I don’t!”

“Yes, you do!”

“YOU STUPID TURD, I DON’T-”

“Inko?”

The wild bickering of Kacchan and Kirishima went in to a halt upon hearing Shinsou’s surprised voice. Before they all knew it, they have arrived in front of the cottage.

Trailing after Shinsou’s stare, Toshinori looks to the cottage, only to be taken aback to see Inko spilled on the doorstep, barely conscious.

“Inko!” The Kirishima, Kacchan, Deku, Tetsutetsu, and Denki screamed as they dropped the fish and meat they’ve hunted from the forest, running towards the woman who has become their mother figure.

“No…” Toshinori muttered under his breath. Knees wobbling, palms suddenly sweating, and a large amount of hair suddenly caught in his throat. Somehow, an idea flashes in to his head…

“Toshinori, Sir…”

Snapping out from his thoughts, he looked down when a small warmth touches his hands. He sees Shinsou and Shoto, looking up to him, fear evident in their eyes.

Without saying anything, he drags them along, running as fast as he can towards Inko.

He hears the children’s cries as they surrounded the beautiful woman. They loudly screamed her name in the hopes that it would wake her up but to no avail.

Shaking, Toshi lets go of Shoto and Shinsou’s hands as he pulls Inko’s frail body, making her lean towards his lap.

“No…” He muttered, lips shaking as his fingers trail on her unconscious face, “She found her…” He said as realization dawned on him.

The queen…she might have grow impatient and…looked for Inko herself.

“We lost her…” He said, slumped in despair as the world was drowned with the screams of the seven scared boys around him.

[kaylathekittykat225]

Blood Stains on the Couch // Jason Todd X Reader

Warning/s: fluff, some smol cursings

Word Count: 1736

Sometimes you wanna write something that is short and sweet and understandably fluff, so here is my blurb between me writing two giant stories at the moment. Those are coming up, one for Steve Harrington that I’m excited to get out and then another name I am dabbling in for the first time: Anakin Skywalker, so this should all be fun when those finally come up.

Anyway my loves, hope you enjoy this love for Jason Todd, because him and Dick Grayson are tied for my favorite bird boys because I just love them so much for their own reasons and ugh. When you are a writer and you can’t properly use your words to talk about the things you usually type about. My struggle is real guys. It’s rough.

Here’s my Masterlist.

Enjoy.

—–

Jason walked through the door at two am and you were sitting on the couch in your apartment’s living room, watching the TV with a bowl of popcorn sitting on your lap. When you two first moved in together, all he did was complain about how you should trio up with Roy and get a larger apartment for less money for the three of you, but you stood your ground and gave him a hardass no. Just the thought of the two of them living in the same apartment was a nightmare and pigsty enough to imagine, but you also wanted to live at this apartment, so hard pass from your end. For you, this place was home, you had a bed to sleep in, some movies to watch, your boyfriend with you and food in the fridge. There was nothing more for you to want in the world right now.

Sleeping in Gotham gets you used to hearing odd noises at night, and the squeak of the window in your bedroom was one that you didn’t have to jump at every time you heard the glass sliding against the wooden frame. You thought of it now like a bell at the front door of shops that let the workers know that there was a new customer in the store. Only, it's your boyfriend and not a random customer and it's your home and not a store...not a good way to think about it if being honest. Either way, when you heard the sliding window, you looked curiously towards your room.

“Jay?” The entire house was dark besides the lamp next to you on the coffee table and the blue backlight of the TV that you paused while waiting to hear a response. The door swung open before your eyes and a large bulky figure loomed in the doorway, their wide shoulders blocking most of the moonlight from moving further into the hallway. There were no defining features around the person’s head, leading you to assume that it was Jason with his helmet on and being dramatic as possible. “Do you always have to be so dramatic?”

You could hear Jason chuckle through the modulator in his helmet as you turned back to the TV and continued watching March of the Penguins; yes, that is the level of bore and doneness you are facing right now. Jason’s heavy footsteps thudded across the room as he stepped closer to you, all the while you didn’t give him much notice and instead focused on the penguins as they slid across the ice towards the mating grounds they were searching for.

The drama queen you loved and called your boyfriend stood over you, giving you a better look at him now that his features were visible from the front with your lamp rather than backlit by the light from outside. He walked right into the living room so he was still in his patrol uniform: jeans, holsters, hand guns, everything was still on him; his boots were off and he was padding around with just his socks on, because he knew better than to track mud through your bedroom and into the rest of the room. The towering giant you dated looked like a little kid right now if all you focused on was his feet

Looking higher up his body, you noticed how his dark jeans worked well in hiding blood, but you knew how the blood hid itself in the fabric and it was scattered over his thighs. If it was old or new blood, that’s something you didn’t care to notice or figure out, but they were getting to the point of you needing to steal them and wash them before tomorrow’s patrol. His jacket and shirt were pretty clean, he liked it that way and made sure that his good jacket that he has had for years was okay and not dirty. Finally, his helmet, the blood red helmet that scared the living daylights out of you the first time you saw him wearing it. Now you knew better and that it was still him under the hard-red material.

“You just gonna stand there all night?” The question slurred through your mouth, mixing with a yawn as you reached your arm up to him in a welcoming gesture to join you on the couch.

“Depending on if you were gonna keep this penguin shit on.” Jason’s voice was modulated through most of his comment while he unlatched it and pulled his head free from it, finally letting you see his gorgeous features. His eyes were still blocked by the domino mask he was reaching for, but you finally see him; his jaw, his lips, the freckles on his nose. Everything was for you to stare at and happily take in; this, this was the reason you would stay up until four every morning, to see his face coming out of his mask. Also, just to see his face. Because his face is handsome.

You continued to stare at him as he dropped his two masks onto the table in front of the couch, your arm still extended in the air for him to notice. “I am gonna keep watching my movie, its calming and I don’t have to think about too much.” He rolled his eyes at you before he tugged the blanket off your lap and pressed his knee between your legs, wiggling your legs further apart before more or less falling on top of you.

“Jaaaay, you’re gonna get blood on the couch. Go change your pants.” The whining in your voice did not match the threading of your fingers through his thick hair, the white hairs finding their way to mix into the dark ones. He groaned at you pushing your fingers into his scalp, shivers running down his back as you continued to massage your fingers through his hair.

“But you’re so comfy.” He said, his voice muffled from being shoved into your stomach. At this point with his body getting heavier and falling in line with yours, pushing the both of you to not want to move to your bedroom.

A beat of quiet filtered through the room as your movie displayed the stages of life of the young baby penguin freeing itself from its shell, leaving the protective belly flap of its father, waiting for the arrival of its mother. The circle of life as it grows.

Ten minutes passed of Jason tracing patterns into your hip bone just below his nose and you carding your fingers through his hair before you felt his chest constrict as he began to push himself up from laying on top of you. “Baaaaaabe, where’re ya goin’?” Your words held a slur behind them, sleep was begging your body to fall into its warm embrace as it was nearing two am at this point and you had to be awake in the morning for work. But this time was Jason time when you got to see him. And you were now cold with air moving between the space of your legs and his chest.

“You’re the one bitching at me to change my pants, so I was gonna go change ‘em and come back.” His voice was heavy, a trait like how yours slurred, and a yawn midway through his thought confirmed he was just as close to sleep as you were.

“But I said that before you made me get comfy. Now I’m cold.” Your lower lip sticks out in a pout and your arm quickly wrapped over your body to make yourself look smaller, being sleepily angry at him.

“Aw, now we can’t have that, now can we?” Your boyfriend spoke as he leaned forward again, almost like he was going to return to his pillow of your stomach, but as his face got closer to yours, you unhooked your crossed arms and allowed him to plant his head right on your chest. Having to look down your nose at him, you watched, and honestly felt, him rubbing his face into your chest, trying to get comfy on his new pillow. “Mmmm, squishy.”

“I am dating a literal eight-year-old.” Grumbling about Jason’s comment on your boobs, you flicked his ear while your arms moved to wrap around his shoulders and rest on his back. He lifted his hand to your arm and grabbed hold of your wrist, moving the arm you just put on top of him. Todd led your hand to his face and you felt him press a kiss to the inside of your wrist before he moved his hand to twine together with yours and tucking your clasped hands to his chest where you could feel the deep and methodical beating of his heart.

“I am not an eight-year-old, I’m eleven thank you very much.” Small chuckles of laughter filled the air as you lost all motivation to continue bantering and teasing him as your dulled focus turned back to the screen and you were beckoned even deeper into sleep. “Y/N, you should get to bed. You’ll kill your back and you will be angry at me for not moving you.” You didn’t answer him right away, not even the annoyed hum you usually do to him.

He lifted his head to look up at you, finding your eyes already shut Jason connected your slower and more methodical breathing to be you already falling asleep. Sighing, he placed his head back down on your chest and stared back to the TV, finding the narrator’s voice calming and lullaby-like to be the reason you fell asleep would also be the same one that would claim him for the land of dreaming and sleep.

Always the small moments were the ones that define a relationship. It wasn’t always about the fancy dates, the kissing, the loving each other, the sex, or anything like that. Sometimes all it was was Jason coming home from a night of patrolling the city and kicking bad guys into cells and then cuddling in funny ways on your ratty couch. This couch holds many memories, none of them grand or fantabulous, but it was memories of nights like this, when you wake up in the morning with a small ache in your back and the blood stains that transferred from Jason’s uniform to the fabric upholstery of the couch that made you smile.

[star-puff]

milestone!

we’ve reached 100+ followers! even a month ago i never fathomed actually making a writing blog, much less 100 people following me! i just wanted to say a big thank you to everyone who gave my writing a chance and enjoyed it enough to follow me <3

if anyone is interested in me doing a milestone event, i.e., sleepover event, ask game, requests for flash fics, please send in a suggestion in my inbox/dms/comments! i’ll probably do the one that is most suggested!

and now for a couple special mentions for the friends i’ve made along the way:

@imaginethathaikyuu - EM!!! my favorite drunkard, the walnut to my red bean, akaashi’s one and only wife, thank you for always encouraging me no matter what! you were one of my very first mutuals, and honestly you don’t even know how glad i am you wrote that post asking ppl to dm you to be your friend. we’ve had the absolute funniest conversations, the most big-brained brainstorming sessions, etc etc etc. I promise i’ll read radio silence one day. just for you <3

 @mooshua - aaaa aurora! you know i always enjoy reading your shiratorizawa and msby series’ so much! they always bring me so much joy, even if the majority of it is bullying atsumu and bringing me second embarrassment from coconut boy goshiki projecting his crush of manager-chan onto literally,,,EVERYTHING. i apologize for my findings of atsumu = random cartoon character posts, but, i think everyone just needs to see those posts to unlock their third eye 😔✋ LMAOO (ps i still think abt leather jorts, and i still sweat)

@miyafeuille - dawn, you always brighten my day whenever you reblog my fics with your tags! i love love love reading people’s thoughts on my fics and yours never fail to make me smile <33 i hope you enjoy your honeymoon with la lune and that you two will live a long and happy life together!

@tooruluv - !!! mya. we haven’t talked a lot lately, but you’re always SO FUN to talk to, especially when we’re both screaming over tanaka’s smited wiki page HAHA. reader x sana rights, reader x sana will remain supreme!!!!

@krystallisert - aj, i can never explain to you the gasp that left my mouth when i saw the notification that you followed me. like, my soul LEFT MY BODY. i’ve loved your au fics from even before i made this writing blog, the way you build your worlds is honestly just so awe-inspiring. i’ll continue to be one of your biggest fans until the end of time ♡

@sa-suga - kyoukaaaaa!! my same-age friend, the queen of many, many, (almost too many?) wips, we haven’t been talking for long but every time we do i always end up smiling! you’re so thoughtful and you put so much care into your writing it’s amazing--absolutely amazing. from your school struggles to extracurriculars, you work SO HARD at life and to be honest i kinda just wanna fly across the world and give you a big hug and tell you to take it easy and take care of yourself 🥺🥺🥺❤️ ilysm, please indulge in as many skincare routines necessary, and i hope you someday live that kyudo shoujo manga life you almost had ♡♡

@edensxgarden eden, my favorite heart to break ❤️❤️ I’M KIDDING ilysm, thank you for being a good sport and still calling me cute even though i am indeed equipped with a revolver and shooting bullets through your heart HAHA. your reblogs and your tags make me laugh SO HARD you have no idea. thank you for always supporting me, i hope your revenge in your job goes slow and effectively 😌😌

and finally, 

@w-yuren​ - ren 🥺🥺🥺🥺 you know by now that are the reason for start of this blog, you and your fic born from a weird headspace ♡♡ thank you for indulging in my journey from 🌟anon to star-puff, thank you for answering the asks i send during my very very nocturnal sleeping schedule, and thank you for being you!! you’re one of the most kind-hearted people i know, even just from seeing the things you post & reblog i can tell. one day i will watch that show with corsak and i will message you in all caps, i promise😔✋ also! i have drunken water today, ty for always asking >:))

to all my other mutuals who i haven’t interacted with that much or not at all, this thank you extends to you as well!! my inbox and dms are always, always open to talk ♡♡♡♡♡♡