#hondo being hondo

[that-sw-writer]

Carpe Diem

Summary: Hondo Ohnaka plays matchmaker for his favourite Jedi, much to Obi-Wan's dismay.

Relationship: Obi-Wan x Reader (fem, no use of Y/N)

Notes: this story is more about Hondo being the bane of Obi-Wan's life than it is about the relationship, it's been sat in my drafts for a year so I gave it a swift ending.

Carpe Diem

'Kenobi, why the long face?' Hondo threw himself down beside a disgruntled Obi-Wan, who was nursing a drink in his left hand as he slumped over the table.

'Because it's been two rotations since I heard from the council and I think another night spent here is going to be the death of me.'

'You wound me, Master Jedi. What is there not to like about crash landing on Hondo's turf?' He grinned, throwing an arm around Obi-Wan, who merely grimaced. He didn't hate Hondo, per se. He just found him... exhausting.

'Perhaps the fact that last time I had a prolonged stay here, I was being held hostage by you. Pardon me if I don't trust your sudden sense of hospitality.'

'Bah! Do not cling to the past, Kenobi. I would never sell you out.' Obi-Wan gave him a pointed look. 'What? It would not be profitable to bring the Separatists here. The Republic, on the other hand, will pay handsomely for your stay.'

'Mm, quite.' Too tired to argue, Obi-Wan returned to sulking into his drink. He had been sure to pour his own drinks whilst in Hondo and his pirates' company; especially after last time.

'Jedi... so boring.' Hondo flapped his arms in his usual theatrical manner as he went off to bother somebody else. A long sigh left Obi-Wan's lips as he drained the contents of his glass. Maker, he must have looked so miserable. The council had assured him that a pickup was imminent, but the nature of war meant that plans were always subject to delays. He knew they were coming for him, he just didn't know when. Not to mention that he wasn't sure how much more of Hondo's babbling he could take. But, he knew he had to remain calm. The Council would be sending someone to collect him and, provided he remained unharmed, Hondo would likely receive his credits as compensation. It was just his luck that he would crash on Florrum. All these pirates did was drink, thieve, drink some more, and create more noise than Obi-Wan had ever thought possible. He had barely slept a wink for the past few nights. If the noise wasn't bad enough, Hondo's "guest quarters," as he had called them, were just a repurposed cell. Obi-Wan had decided that he would never complain about the hard beds aboard Jedi cruisers again.

After too long spent wallowing in his self-pity, he decided to retire for the night and meditate in the privacy of his "guest quarters." What caught his attention before he could leave the room was a voice he didn't recognise, one that stood out from the crowd. Whoever this was, they were yelling at one of Hondo's men in a Coruscanti accent similar to his own.

'Be a thieving pirate all you like, but do not test me. Give me my credits, or you won't make it to the end of that drink.' As Obi-Wan approached, he saw a blaster being pointed at one of Hondo's right-hand men. The woman behind it appeared to be very calm. Despite her cutting words, her tone remained level - something about her demeanour made Obi-Wan believe that she meant her threat.

'I'm not payin' for a job that didn't get completed.' The pirate slurred, his drink sloshing over the brim of his glass as he threw his arms up in protest.

'Are you trying to scam me, or are you just plain stupid?' Perhaps emphasising her point, she tapped the pirate's forehead with the barrel of her blaster. He was about to respond and escalate the situation even more, but Obi-Wan stepped in before he could. He knew it was none of his business, but it was his natural instinct as a Jedi to help.

'I'd assume he's both.' With the same calm tone as hers, but lacking the vicious edge, Obi-Wan caught the woman's attention. She glanced at him, whilst her blaster remained pointed at the pirate. Her eyes scanned him up and down, doing a double-take.

'A Jedi... on Florrum?' Her brow furrowed.

'Yes. Although this isn't my first choice of holiday destination, believe me.' His words made the corners of her lips turn up into the smallest of smirks. Obi-Wan felt an uncontrollable desire to smile back at her. It seemed as though his usual composure had abandoned him... perhaps Hondo had encouraged him to have one too many drinks.

'Are drunken pirates not your thing?' She laughed and his heart rate increased. Why? Why did it increase?

'Are they yours?' He nodded his head towards the drunkard at the end of her blaster.

'Don't get clever with me, Jedi-' she was smirking, but her expression dropped when she spotted movement in her peripherals. The pirate she had been arguing with was trying to sneak away from his impending death. Obi-Wan could tell that didn't sit well with this mystery woman. 'And you,' she launched forward, grabbing the pirate by his neck, 'better have those credits in my account by sunrise, otherwise, I'll make you regret ever being born. Am I understood?' Her last sentence was punctuated by her blaster tapping the pirate's temple.

'Yeah, yeah.' He slurred, flapping his arms as he stumbled away. Obi-Wan could sense that the pirate knew her threat was genuine. Her blaster was finally holstered and she turned to face him properly.

'I hope you're not expecting a thank you.' She raised an eyebrow.

'Not at all, I've come to expect very little from the clientele around here.' His reply elicited a short laugh from her.

'Very wise.' Neither of them spoke another word, but neither of them moved away. Obi-Wan could feel the Force poking at him, pointing out an unspoken desire to keep the conversation going. But, he bottled it.

'Anyway, it was a pleasure to meet you, but I was just about to retire for the evening.' He couldn't read her expression, but he thought that was probably for the best. He wished he'd forced himself to find something else to talk about; in his head, he could picture Anakin making fun of him. A snarky comment along the lines of: 'veryyy smooth, Master.' sprung to mind.

'Right, you're a Jedi,' she gave a slow nod and a flash of something akin to disappointment crossed her face.

'Meaning?' Rest forgotten, his brow quirked.

'Meaning... you're a Jedi. Lightsaber swinging, righteous, peacekeeper with morals.' Her nose scrunched at the last word.

'And I suppose spending my evening surrounded by immoral, uncivilised criminals doesn't fit that job description.' His eyes widened as he realised the implications of his words, 'not that you're an immoral, uncivilised criminal. I-I mean, you're... you know, you're...' As he continued to stumble over every syllable he tried to utter, she burst into laughter.

'I'm sure I should be flattered by whatever it is that you're trying to insinuate, Master Jedi. But, your first observation was right: I am all of those things, and hanging around people like me doesn't fit your job description.' Every word that left her lips convinced Obi-Wan more and more that she had some kind of Force sensitivity that was causing him to melt on the spot. There she was, admitting to him that she was a criminal - he had already seen her threaten someone at blaster-point. But, something about her was more intoxicating than anything Hondo had offered him to drink. Silence befell the pair of them again, but this time Obi-Wan decided to seize the moment and stop the Anakin-like voice in his head from mocking him.

'I'm sure one more drink before retiring won't hurt. Besides, since I've been here I've found it hard to sleep with all the noise.'

'Yeah, you get used to that.'

'Would you care to join me?' He really felt like he was putting his life on the line here. Dozens of Battle Droids could be standing before him and he wouldn't break a sweat. But, a beautiful bounty hunter and suddenly his resolve was crumbling. She looked somewhat surprised by his invitation, but a smile soon settled on her face.

'Sure, why not? Drinking with a Jedi isn't something you get offered every day.' Obi-Wan nodded in response and glanced to his left, looking for a quieter spot that would keep him away from the prying eyes and ears of pirates. He saw some empty seats at the end of a long table that was littered with Hondo's clientele, all drinking and jeering with one another. The pair of them sat down, but it dawned upon him that he was out of his depth in this setting.

'I, uh- I'm not entirely sure how you get drinks here.' He exhaled a sheepish chuckle, 'usually, I pour my own.'

'And why's that? You don't seem like the bartending type to me.'

'Let's just say that last time Hondo poured me a drink, I woke up in handcuffs.' He grimaced at the memory... handcuffed to Dooku and Anakin no less.

'Handcuffed?' She laughed, 'that was probably just Hondo's idea of a good time.' Normally he would have rolled his eyes at such a comment, but when it came from her he couldn't help but match her laughter.

'Believe me, these circumstances weren't what anybody would describe as a "good time."'

'Maybe where you're from, Master Jedi, but I think you'll find that there are a lot of things we enjoy here that you might... well, arrest us for.'

'Do my eyes deceive me-' A voice cut through the crowd and Obi-Wan willed the ground to swallow him up, '-or is Kenobi still here?' Hondo threw himself down at the table and looked between the pair of them. 'Socialising nonetheless!' He cackled.

'Hondo, do you not have somewhere else you should be?' Obi-Wan hoped he would pick up on the subtle hints in his tone, but who was he kidding? Hondo wouldn't pick up on it if he had outwardly told him to leave him alone with the outlandishly beautiful bounty hunter.

'Somewhere else? You mistake me, Kenobi. I am here to attend to my very esteemed Jedi guest and his-' Hondo's gaze moved to his companion '-new friend.'

'Hondo, always a pleasure.' She greeted him with what Obi-Wan could only describe as a flawless smile. It seemed almost like a reflex - something she had perfected through years of practice.

'Ah! My favourite hunter spending time with my favourite Jedi - what a surprise this is.'

'You should be thanking him, he stopped me from killing one of your crew.' She shot Obi-Wan a smirk. He willed himself to remain composed, especially with Hondo there.

'If he had died, I am sure it would have been deserved,' Hondo flapped his arm in dismissal before throwing it around Obi-Wan's shoulders. He responded to this with a disgruntled expression. 'Of course, this dashing Jedi Master stepped in to save the day. He is, after all, a hero.' Hondo exhaled a whimsical sigh, and Obi-Wan's brow furrowed. He was never this complimentary without an ulterior motive, only he couldn't work out the angle this time.

'I'll drink to that.' Despite Hondo's odd behaviour, she didn't seem to be discouraged.

'But alas, you have no drink,' Hondo shook his head and tutted. 'Kenobi, how could leave your lady-friend sat here practically dying of thirst?'

'I never-' he began to protest, much to his "lady-friend's" amusement.

'-come come, Kenobi. Let us go and fetch the drinks.' Hondo was ushering him out of his seat before he had a chance to process what was happening. He gave a fleeting glance back at the bounty hunter and decided that this was all worth it when he saw the way she laughed. He followed Hondo over to the bar, where hordes of pirates were gathering to get themselves drinks - many of which were sloshing out over the brim of the glasses as they stumbled away.

'What in the stars are you doing, Hondo?' He pinched the bridge of his nose, only speaking once they were out of earshot.

'Me?' He gasped, holding a hand to his chest. 'Why, Kenobi, I am just trying to enjoy an evening with my esteemed guest. How was I supposed to know that you would be socialising with your new friend?' There was a wry tone to his words.

'She's a bounty hunter, Hondo. We aren't friends, per se.'

'Not friends at all it seems. In fact, Hondo would wager that you're more than friends.' He elbowed Obi-Wan, letting out a loud cackle. As Obi-Wan stammered over his words, trying to make up some kind of viable excuse, Hondo leaned over the bar and ordered a round of drinks. When his attention returned to the Jedi, he laughed once again. 'Now now, Kenobi. There is no need for excuses.'

'I'm not making-' he began to huff, but Hondo didn't even register his voice.

'-what you need, Master Jedi, is a pep talk from old Hondo.' With a roll of his eyes, Obi-Wan attempted to interrupt, but Hondo shushed him. 'Kenobi, listen here. What happens on Florrum, stays on Florrum... mostly, anyway.'

'Wise words, as ever.' He snorted.

'Nevertheless! You must seize the day, Kenobi. That,' he gestured to the striking woman who now sat alone at the table, 'is one of the best bounty hunters in the outer rim. You would be a fool to let her pass you by.'

'You never do anything without an angle. You always have something to gain, I just can't work out what it is this time.'

'This is true, this true.' Hondo tutted, shaking his head, 'but can't old Hondo do something for an old Jedi friend out of the kindness of his own heart, just once?'

'No, you can't.' Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow as a momentary pause.

'Pish posh, Master Jedi.' Hondo threw himself to grab the tray of drinks when it arrived. 'I just want you to have a pleasant stay. Besides, if the Jedi council do ever arrive to collect you, I'm sure they'd be willing to heavily compensate such a... generous host.'

'So you mentioned.' If Obi-Wan had a credit for every time Hondo hinted at the Republic paying for his stay, he'd have enough for early retirement. 

'Come along now, you can't keep a bounty hunter waiting.' With that, he shoved the tray of drinks into Obi-Wan's hands and pushed him back towards the table. As they approached, his companion's face lit up and he swore he had never seen anything that beautiful in his life. 'How generous of Kenobi to buy all of the drinks,' Hondo announced unnecessarily loudly.

'Did he now?' He could tell that she understood Hondo's angle but must have found it amusing enough to play along.

'I told him that as his host, I would pay. But, he has insisted on giving me the credits back, didn't  you, Kenobi.' A hand outstretched in Obi-Wan's direction and he raised an eyebrow.

'Really?' He knew there was no point in arguing. With a roll of his eyes, he tossed a few credits into Hondo's palm. Any excuse to make money...

'You see that? Generous.' Hondo threw himself down beside the woman, opposite Obi-Wan.

'Hm, well that is the Jedi way, is it not?' She smirked over at him.

'I'm sure being generous isn't just limited to Jedi.' He chuckled, taking a long sip of his drink. Over the rim of the glass, he could see Hondo staring at him, as if he was expecting him to say something else. 

'It is in this place, trust me.' She laughed, but he noticed that she was eyeing up his silent exchange with Hondo. After a beat of silence, she exclaimed, 'Kriff, is that a fight over there?' She pointed over Hondo's shoulder and he immediately whipped around, 'shame nobody's taking bets.' She tutted and Obi-Wan had to drink again to hide a laugh at the pirate's expense. Hondo scrambled to his feet and cleared his throat.

'Alas, I have another business venture to pursue. Remember Kenobi, seize the day.' He yelled, before scurrying off. Obi-Wan put his head in his hands and groaned.

'I think I'm in your debt for that.' He withdrew his hands and drank the remainder of his drink at a faster pace than he would usually deem appropriate. 

'I'm sure we can find a way for you to repay me.' Her tone, combined with the words, had Obi-Wan's composure turning to dust.

'What do you have in mind?' He hadn't intended for his tone to sound as flirtatious as it did

'That depends, how attached are you to those Jedi morals of yours?' She paused, 'no pun intended.' Obi-Wan was slightly taken aback - was the forbidding  of attachment that well-documented? Even if it were, why did he care that she knew about it?

'I'm not one to question my morals, but the definition of attachment is... somewhat flexible.' He was losing himself in the thought of it; stranded with pirates, a bounty hunter who seemed as intelligent and dangerous as she did gorgeous, and a desire bubbling up that he hadn't felt in as long as he could remember. Was the attitude of the pirates rubbing off on him, or had he had too much to drink? Either way, he really wanted to kiss her.

'It's funny how spending time surrounded by... how did you put it? Immoral, uncivilised criminals can change a man.' Her teasing statement was accompanied by a sip of her drink, her gaze never leaving his from the rim of the glass. When she lowered her glass she took a bold step towards him, 'define flexible.' She smirked, and Obi-Wan thought his heart was going to burst out of his chest with the speed it was beating.

Maker, it wasn't as though he was going to marry her. He had heard tales of Jedi bending the rules in far more serious ways. For liquid courage, he drew his head far enough away from her to empty the remainder of his drink. 'Do you want the dictionary definition, or the metaphorical one?' Having regained some of his wit, he grinned at her and she rolled her eyes.

'You talk too much, Jedi.' She laughed, pulling him towards her so their lips would meet in a passionate blaze. He barely had a chance to react, but quickly settled into the kiss. It was safe to say that this was the highlight of his unplanned stay on Florrum - maybe it had even made the trip worthwhile. The pair's lips moved in tandem for a few moments longer before they separated. 'How do you fancy spending the night on my ship tonight? I may even throw in a lift home for you.' Their lips remained close and her voice was low - it was as if it were just the two of them in the room.

'I wouldn't dare decline, I've already seen what happens to those who get on your bad side.' He smirked and the way her face lit up with a laugh had Obi-Wan ready to do anything she wanted him to.

'What was it Hondo said? Seize the day, Master Jedi... meet me in the hanger in five.' Pressing a chaste kiss to his lips, she left his arms and disappeared into the crowd before he could utter another word - something he was struggling to manage. He shook himself off and moved to gather his belongings from the repurposed cell that had been his home for the past few days. This seemed like a win win situation - a night with the bounty hunter and he would be dropped back home.

'Kenobi!' Hondo bellowed across the room causing Obi-Wan to stop in his tracks and take a moment to breathe and centre himself as he prepared for another interaction with the pirate.

'Hondo, I'm afraid I'm retiring for the evening.' He uttered the moment the pair were face to face.

'Tssh, I thought better of you than lying Kenobi.' He tutted, shaking his head in his usual over-dramatic manner. 'Did you think I wasn't watching?'

'I hoped you weren't at least.' He muttered under his breath as Hondo continued his speech.

'Your lady friend is waiting for you, is she not? Now now, I won't keep you long, but it would not be right of me to let you go without giving you some tips-'

'-no no, that absolutely won't be necessary.' Obi-Wan interrupted faster than a pod-race on Tatooine. 'It's like you said Hondo, seize the day, carpe diem, all of that.' He grimaced, giving Hondo a pat on the shoulder as he slid past him and tried to continue his journey.

'Excellent, Kenobi, excellent!' Hondo called after him as he rushed off. 'Just remember, you wouldn't be here without Hondo and his hospitality during a trying time! I expect payment in full Master Jedi, otherwise your next stay will not be so pleasant!'

'Next stay...' Obi-Wan repeated under his breath, rolling his eyes, 'not a chance.' At last free of Hondo's watchful eye, he scurried to gather his belongings and rush to the hanger.

Perhaps, all things considered, crashing on a hostile planet wasn't the worst thing that could have happened to Obi-Wan.

[champmorado]

h. how do i explain my punch out ships without looking insane

my ships are: disco kid x don, carmen x don, GT x don, hondo x GT, hondo x don, hondo x bear hugger, von kaiser x bear hugger, hondo x sandman, hondo x bald bull, and sandman w/ one-sided feelings for bald bull 😭😭

[weregonnabecoolbeans]

Do you ever just sit and think about hondo’s fondness for Ezra

And how when he looked at Ezra he definitely saw pieces of those jedi younglings he met way back when

Those kids who had just made their lightsabers and despite having just been attacked by hondo, worked with him to get to safety

[goferwashere]

PUNCH-OUT!! (Wii) MONSTER AU 🗣️💥

FIGHTING FOR YOUR FUCKING LIFE IN THIS RING. LETS GO 🔥🔥

It’s a bit long so I added a cut 😭 I spent the past three days on this

THIS IS SUBJECT TO CHANGE BUT OH LORD I FORGOT HOW MUCH FUN MAKING AU’S IS

ALSO PLEASE PLEASE ADD MORE HC’S AND STUFF IF YOU HAVE ANY

Please just assume that just about every monster on this list comes with super strength unless stated otherwise.

Glass Joe:

Human - Monster Hunter/Boxer

- Wants to retire, but knows that without him some of the more unruly and dangerous monsters would dominate the circuit.

- Not everybody knows that *he’s* the infamous monster killer within the WBVA. Some do, but he doesn’t want it to be common knowledge. He needs the edge of “Poor, weak Glass Joe” to get the jump on his opponents.

- He doesn’t kill often, only if things get extremely out of hand. He’s basically the only thing keeping the humans and monsters from starting a full out war in the WVBA.

- Despite his job, He’s friends with a couple of the other boxers. Some knowing that they were monsters, some that he assumed were human and were actually monsters, and some that were just human.

- He doesn’t have anything against monsters, only those who try to take advantage of their power.

- He still trains and goes into the ring, trying to enjoy himself. To be fair, he does still enjoy boxing despite everything else he’s doing. Even if his record does stand at 1-99.

- On that note, his one win wasn’t an accident. He fully intended to win that fight, lacing Nick Bruisers gloves with Garlic so he’d be fighting with his hands essentially on fire.

- Even though he’s got a serious job, he far from a serious guy most of the time. He’s friendly with just about everybody, and tries to be civil with the people who treat him like shit.

- He’s also still clumsy. Almost died a few times as a result.

Von Kaiser:

Vampire - Boxer

- Being turned during his military service, he’s gotten good at hiding the obvious signs. He covers his bite mark and eye bags, and excessively dyes his skin using turmeric. (It fades fast though, leaving his skin looking a healthy colour.)

- Claims he has a garlic allergy, which makes him sad because he quite enjoyed garlic before turning.

- Enjoys the perks of being a vampire, but just can’t seem to keep up with the amount of blood his body demands. So he often twitches and looses focus, being sluggish and tired quite often.

- He enjoys the chase when tracking down his prey. It makes him feel powerful.

- Is 100% on the monster’s side. He believes that they’re superior, and will often be snarky with the human boxers (even if they’re ranked higher than him).

Disco Kid

Human (Possessed by Kid Quick) - Dancer/Boxer

- Disco is being possessed by the ghost of a boxer that was killed during one of his matches (yes that’s his unfinished business)

- Whenever he’s doing anything involving boxing, that’s Quick’s doing, but personality wise that’s always been Disco

- Disco is surprisingly chill with it, always wanting to try boxing but never having patience to train (so Quick does it for him lol)

- His personality leaks into Quicks movements and taunts, since despite liking boxing he’s got ‘no flair’ (As Disco puts it)

- Doesn’t have any super strength, but if they work together they can pull of some nasty combos, with Quick grabbing them and pushing them into Disco’s attacks (Disco isn’t a huge fan of that though, so it’s only really a last resort.)

- He’s honestly nervous when he finds out about the monsters in the WVBA. Quick assures him that they’ll be fine as long as they keep their heads down.

-…Which of course, Disco would never do. So when he gets mixed up in the drama he doesn’t really have anyone to blame but himself.

- He knows that he should *technically* count as a monster, but him and Quick are in support of the humans.

King Hippo

Tulpa - Boxer

- He was created by a little boy who loved boxing, and created him. Giving him a backstory and a cool design. He thought about him so much that he just. Spawned one day.

- The only thing on his mind was boxing, so that’s what he did. He has no idea that he was just a figment of some random kid’s imagination, but I doubt he’d care (or believe it) if he was told. His only goal is to box.

- Not really involved in any of the WVBA human/monster drama. He’s rather quiet outside of the ring.

- Nobody is really clear what he is, but everyone has mutually agreed that he’s not human. No way.

Piston Hondo

Human - Boxer

- Everyone who knows him has a lot of respect for Hondo. He fights fair, and his technique was able to beat actual superhumans (granted, some of those wins may have circumstantial).

- Some of the other boxers are really confused as to how he can keep his ranking, and make speculations as to how he does it, but no one can come up with a solid theory.

- Unless he’s exposed to be a dirty trickster like Ryan, or doped up like Soda, everyone just has to respect the insane effort he puts in.

- Hondo is oblivious to the fact that the WVBA is infested with monsters, and has always thought that international boxing would naturally have more difficult opponents. Nobody knows what would happen if he found out, but nobody wants him give up if he did. Just about everyone (regardless about what side they’re on) will band together to keep Hondo in the dark.

Bear Hugger

Werewolf - Boxer

- He’s more or less happy with being a werewolf. Obviously he’s mad when he has to lock himself up during the full moon, but otherwise he’s chill.

- Essentially a Disney princess with how well he gets along with wildlife. Like. It’s actually insane.

- Thought he’d do well in boxing, so quite literally trained with bears before going to NY. He thinks it’s noisy and polluted, but stays to hopefully bring down the champion and take the belt home to show his friends.

- Cheers on everyone, regardless of what they are. He doesn’t really care about the fate of the WVBA and is just there for a good time.

Great Tiger

Human - Informant/Boxer

- A skilled magic user. He’s been learning since he was a little kid, and the jewel on his turban gives him a good chunk of extra power.

- Uses his tricks to get intel and feed it to Joe.

- He *LOVES* to stir the pot. He knows that he’s safe, and may even stick out his neck for Joe, but will never do anything that’ll put himself in harms way.

- In the same vein he’s always listening to drama. He will gossip like a high schooler, and he knows everything about everyone. He loves being cheeky and keeping other boxers in the dark about what he knows.

- Literally the personification of “🎶I know something that you don’t know~🎵”

- He’s basically on an even playing field, so has no trouble keeping his place in the major league. Honestly, he’s more in it to see how this drama will play out, and who’ll come out on top.

Don Flamenco:

Siren - Matador/Boxer

- He very much using his ability to charm people all the time.

- This includes getting the ref to give him decision wins (even if he doesn’t deserve it), and always to leave a good first impression on just about everyone he meets.

- Yes, sometimes it’s also to pick up ladies (and men? Sometimes? Depends on his mood…) but will never go too far with it.

NOTE: While I think it would be totally in character for him to sleep with them, I don’t want that for him since that’s not consensual. so let’s say that despite seeing humans as lesser he doesn’t want to cross that line. (For his *own* sake of course. The last thing he would do is use tricks to woo “lesser creatures” to bed with him.)

- He’ll whisper under his breath after taunting, convincing the opponent to throw the match. But he’s not great at it, and will sometimes encounter someone who doesn’t have great hearing. He usually loses those matches.

- Wants an all-monster WVBA. He can manipulate just about anybody, and generally sees humans as lesser (Unless they’ve proven to him otherwise, like Joe and Hondo) so he wants them out.

- He’s very charming and friendly, but if you get on his bad side he is NASTY. Like ruin all your relationships and steal yo girl/man nasty. (He keeps all that under wraps though, he can’t have his image be tarnished.)

Aran Ryan:

Human - Boxer

- To everyone’s surprise, he’s actually human. But for all the craziness he projects out in the ring, he’s a smart guy.

- He taunts boxers by trying to get them to hit him because he knows that one wrong move and they’d expose themselves. If they hit him too hard (he figures that one punch would be enough to kill him with their strength) he might die but knows that it’ll be hell to pay for their opponent as well.

- Same with the headbutts, it throws them off their rhythm because they need to react, even if they didn’t feel it.

- That’s why he cheats, because he knows that without it he’d stand no chance.

- But still, you can’t be asking people you know could kill you easily to hit you and be mentally stable. He’s still eccentric about making it as a boxer, this is just an extra challenge to him.

- Has a disdain for monsters, and will do just about anything he can to gain in upper hand in those fights. That flail has gotten him out of a few sticky situations.

Soda Popinski:

Human - Boxer

- He can only compete fairly (at world circuit level at least) because he’s doped up to hell and back.

- Way into the idea of the ‘indomitable human spirit’. He truly believes that human ingenuity can overcome any challenge, and this is no exception.

- He 100% wants to get monsters out of the WVBA. But because he knows that he’s already got a big enough target on his back for cheating he can’t make a big fuss publicly.

Bald Bull:

Minotaur - Boxer

- Nobody’s really sure where he came from, but some people have seen him in his Minotaur form and that’s been enough for the others to accept them onto their side.

- He’s close with a lot of the other monsters, and follows along with their plan to have monsters take over the WVBA circuits. He only does so for them, he doesn’t have a personal agenda.

- This is the first place he’s really felt accepted, so will do what his friends ask of him even if he isn’t entirely on board with it.

- That said, he does belittle the human competitors quite often. To their face and while they aren’t present.

Super Macho Man:

Dragon - Supermodel/Bodybuilder/Boxer

- Got tired of living in a cave, and made it to LA to see what had become of humanity.

- By god, he loved it. He’d chosen a particularly handsome form (even though he didn’t know it at the time) and loved the attention he got from the ladies. He quickly picked up on our customs and had plenty of gold to sell (after years of hoarding it up in a mountain somewhere, he figured that now was the time to use it).

- Always wears enchanted golden jewellery, because the last thing he wants is for his facade to slip. He doesn’t need all of it, but to him it’s a necessary precaution.

- He can breathe fire. He does it often as a party trick, and has even figured out how to change its colour.

- His skin is also very hot to the touch. You’d think he was always just finishing with an intense workout.

Mr. Sandman:

??? - Boxer

- Nobody knows, and nobody is brave enough to ask. He seems to beat monsters with relative ease, so everyone assumes he must be one as well, but nobody can figure him out.

- Everyone wants to keep him out of what’s happening, because he’s a loose canon. Nobody knows who’s side he belongs to and nobody wants to find out they’re his enemy.

PLEASE HELP ADD ONTO THIS IF YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS BECAUSE IM EXPLODING OVER THIS

[compacflt]

Do you ever think about how rooster probably had to walk past that poster of ice and mav shaking hands when he was at top gun the first time cause like

well ackshually top gun (navy fighter weapons school) moved out to NAS Fallon in Nevada after the USMC took control of NAS Miramar in 1996 (2006 in my timeline) so i don’t think he would’ve seen it there

but during training for the Dagger mission at NAS north island… the first time, Rooster was probably totally blindsided by it—made him stop dead in his tracks. Jesus. Who put that shit here. Exposing them in the light of day. Total bullshit. Then: “eugh.” And every time after that he just squared his shoulders & walked past & refused to look.

Every time MAV walked past it he probably hesitated & smiled. That’s me & my baby, that’s me & my tomcat, et cetera. oh my god we used to be so YOUNG. augh. look at us. —But can’t get caught staring, have to move on quickly. He has that picture in his wallet anyways. There will be time to look at it later ❤️

[patchw0rk-quilt]

about spiders and parentheses and don being a stupid emo again

[disneybrandautism]

i love men (and women) who fly planes. truly. i love them and their weird homoerotic friendships and their callsigns and their everything. i love fanboy and rooster and hangman and coyote and phoenix from tgm who initiated this obsession. but i also love the originals like goose, iceman, maverick, and slider. and i love my new guys like rosie, buck, bucky, curt and cros. i love learning about planes. shout out to my favorite two ground crew guys: lemmons and hondo

moral of the story is that i’m autistic. and maybe unhinged.

[chuchayucca]

Overt NPD Narcis and AudHD Hondo friendship

[pirate-fan-rachelle]

[OOC] *the contenders are standing around the broken coffee maker*

Mr. Sandman: So...Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Everyone:

Disco Kid: ...*raise his hand* I did. I broke it-

Mr. Sandman: No. No you didn't. ...Aran?

Aran Ryan: Don't look at me. ...Look at Joe!

Glass Joe: What?! I didn't break it.

Aran Ryan: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Glass Joe: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Aran Ryan: Suspicious.

Glass Joe: No, it's not!

Von Kaiser: If it matters, probably not, but Super Macho Man was the last one to use it.

SMM: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Von Kaiser: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

SMM: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Von Kaiser!

Disco Kid: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Sandy.

Mr. Sandman: No!! Who broke it!?

Everyone: .....

Great Tiger: ...Mr. Sandman...Don's been awfully quiet.

Don Flamenco: Oh REALLY?!

*Everyone starts arguing*

Mr. Sandman, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.

I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

Mr. Sandman: ....Good.

It was getting a little chummy around here.

[thebadchoicemachine]

I love Hondo. Thinking about how much he almost FUCKED Palpatine's entire deal.

[s3v3r3dh3ad]

WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT HONDO?!??!? DO SHIP WITH HIM SOMEONE?!?! (oc's and selfincerts count!!) TELL ME RGAHHHHHH (Also hi! 🙂)

BRO I LOVE PISTON HONDO HE'S LITERALLY SO CUTE LIKE ❤️ EVERY TIME I SEE HIM I JUST THINK ABOUT THAT PART ON SPONGEBOB WHERE THE FLYING DUTCHMAN IS LIKE "STOP STARING AT ME WITH THEM BIG OL EYES!" BECAUSE HE'S ACTUALLY 👁👁 PERSONIFIED LIKE DAMN GIRL WE SEE THEM.💀😭

For real though he's literally so sweet and respectful like it makes my heart melt.😭 Deadass I got that intermission in contender mode one time where he brings food into the ring AND I ACTUALLY FREAKED THE FUCK OUT IT WAS SO CUTE.😭 I hope one day I can get that one where he says to raise your hand when you cross the road I SHIT YOU NOT I WOULD ACTUALLY CRY.🛐 Anyways underrated character for sure, he's so cutie patootie in my eyes.

As for ships I'M SO SORRY TO DISAPPOINT BUT I LITERALLY HAVE NO SHIPS AT ALL BESTIE I APOLOGIZE.😭 I think him and Bear Hugger would be besties though and go out for dinner together and try a ton of different places just for the experience and Bear Hugger would post it to his Facebook account and still insists on tagging Hondo every single time even though he's already in all of the posts. 💀 I think Hondo would also be pretty cool with Sandman because they both have similar ways of thinking but they just express it differently. Like, they seem like they would hang out after their matches and just talk about the good and bad parts of life together and chill. Also completely random but I think Hondo and Kaiser would get along well for no reason other than I just want to believe so, like I can see them planning a trip to the library together and then Kaiser shows up 20 minutes earlier than they planned and then he thinks Hondo is late when in reality he showed up right on time, and then Kaiser gets mad confused when he sees Hondo checking out a cute silly manga instead of the fucking 4000 page copy of the dictionary he reads for funsies but it's okay because they still had fun anyways.😍

Also, HI!💃🕺

[fingerless-glovez]

Based on this thread

[sexysilverstrider]

Slumber | VLKR

   Sunlight poured soothingly through the windowpane. Faint sounds of people walking about and louder sounds of Pokémon prancing around the house shook the woman awake. Low grumbles tickled her lips. Twitching at the ray of sun kissing her eyelids, Akari rubbed one eye before slowly sitting up.

   Arms stretched upwards, she let out a yawn. Sleeves of her jinbei slid downwards. Black strands hair cascaded forward as she tilted her head forward.

   Ah, I’m so lazy, the thought crossed her mind. In truth, she would rather take a few more hours of sleep. However, she knew her work would not accept her in doing so. As much as she was the hero of the village, she wasn’t excused from working in order to survive. Besides, Akari knew better than to bear Commander Kamado’s ruthless scoldings or incite Cyllene’s quiet fury.

   Black eyes peeked at the man beside her.

   He peacefully snoozed, face snuggled inside the hadakake futon. Though blonde strands covered most of his eyes, Akari could see such a serene expression. The man lay on his left side, facing her. She wondered if he ever moved in his sleep considering that the only movement from him was that he had scooted an inch backwards after snuggling with her last night.

   Ah, her cheeks burned at the memory.

   A smile tugged her mouth.

   At times like these, her heart truly fluttered for him.

   “Alright then…” mumbling to herself, Akari carefully lifted her side of the quilt and slid out—

   Or at least, she tried to, if not for her right wrist being firmly gripped.

   Her smile popped to a gape. Akari turned to the right. “Volo?!” Shock roused her awake. Widened eyes blinked at her held wrist, then at the man whose face was still hidden beneath the quilt.

   He muttered not a word, but grumbled a low grumble.

   After years of being together, she knew what it meant completely.

   “Volo…” a sigh escaped through pink lips. “I need to get ready. I need to go to Veilstone Cape today and I can’t afford to be late.” Lightly, she tugged her left hand.

   Firmly, he held her right wrist still.

   Surprise bubbled into annoyance. “Volo.” Again, she called his name. “Come on. If I’m late, I’m gonna get scolded. Do you want me to get scolded?” Mean as she was to try and guilt trip him, Akari found her actions justified as she saw him not easing up on his hold.

   He still didn’t say a peep. He still had his face hidden.

   What she once thought was cute a minute ago now started to irritate her. “Volo—!”

   “Stay…”

   The very spark of her anger dissolved in an instant once she heard his low voice.

   His hand lowered from her wrist to the back of her hand. Fingers gingerly brushed the back of it. Mumbling incoherent noises, Volo positioned his hand so that he could hold hers properly. Fingers squeezed around the sides of her fingers. Gently. Softly.

   Finally, Volo lowered the quilt.

   Grey eyes glazed in a mix of slumber and affection. Volo peeked upwards at the stunned women. “Please stay…” he pleaded, voice deep and husky. Though left eye hidden behind blonde locks, Volo quietly begged with a glance of his right eye. Blush kissed his cheeks too, shading adorably under his eyes. Whether or not his actions were done subconsciously, he gently pulled her right hand and pressed a meek kiss at the back of her fingers.

   The sight and sound alone were robbing her of air.

   As if an arrow had shot straight to the screaming heart, Akari tightly pursed her mouth before letting out a heavy sigh. Heat now burning to the tips of her ears, she stifled a low, low, moan that vibrated in her throat.

   Damn him. Damn him, damn him!

   “F-Fine…” Knowing she was fighting a losing battle, Akari slid back into the futon. She could worry about the consequences later.

   Hell, she didn’t need to worry about anything at all once she felt her body being pulled to a warm hug.

   “Mmm…” Mouth tickled to a brief smile. Volo pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Akari…” Her name slurred in a deep murmur, he then nuzzled the top of her head. Right arm draped around her waist, pulling her to a possessive embrace that showed no signs of letting go anytime soon. Within seconds, he fell back into deep sleep, breathing tickling the tip of her still burning ear.

   Ah, I’m so screwed, the thought crossed her mind. Still, she couldn’t be angry as Akari scooted closer into his warm chest. His heart seemed to race still, actually lulling her back to a world of dreams.

  A shaky smile accompanied her hot face as Akari felt her eyelids droop.

END

[roselightfairy]

The Rewards of Optimism (3746 words) by Roselightfairy Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Hondo Ohnaka Characters: Hondo Ohnaka, Obi-Wan Kenobi Additional Tags: Implied Sexual Content, Crack Treated Seriously, Canon Compliant, One Night Stands, Dirty Tricksters Summary:

Across the table, Kenobi went still, his hands around his teacup. His eyes had taken on an edge – something flat and hard and glittering.

“Ben,” he said.

Hondo cocked his head to the side.

“Ben Kenobi,” repeated Kenobi. “I’ve never heard of an Obi-Wan, and neither have you.”

Hondo wagged his finger and chuckled. “I beg to differ, my friend! I heard quite a bit about an Obi-Wan Kenobi a few years ago!”

“I think you’ll find,” said Kenobi, evenly, “that you didn’t.”

Something else had entered the room with them, despite Kenobi’s placid tone – an air of threat, of danger, swirling like dust motes in the space between their heads over the table. Exhaled like poison on Kenobi’s breath. Hondo’s own breath caught at the threat of it – the knowledge that, though he was safer in this moment than he had been since landing on the planet, he was also in more danger.

So, of course, he kept pushing.

...

The great thing about writing fanfic is that your weird crack doesn't have to be that good for you to decide that it can go out into the world. Enjoy this weird idea that @thevillainsmustache and I laughed about a lot!

[oohbuggypie]

Since your ask box is open do you got any great tiger or hondo headcannons?

(First ask anywhere so I don’t know what to ask lol)

I GET U WALLET OMG using the ask box makes me nervous like idfk what 2 say,,, but THE GREAT GT !!! one of my fav characters ever srsly. Tiger to me is like soo annoying and perfect i wanna punch him in his face but like endearingly. anyway as far as headcanons go i am at a TOTAL loss :( i talk abt loving that man 24/7 but like i don't have many fun things i think he'd do or be or whatever?? however if it counts, i always have had this idea of an AU(?) in my head where he would be a dancer. idk i think it's his attitude and his grace that makes it make sense, but something about him performing shows in dim lit places and incorporating his magic into routines has always been smthn on my mind .. id love to elaborate on it further in a different post or once ive deepened my ideas on it ... but if YOU have any PLEASE drop them !! Tiger is at the top of the list i love him soo much and id love to think more abt it and hear ur ideas abt him 🩷

as for Hondo, i think he would have a little library / reading corner in his home where he gets himself all cozy and just chills for hours at a time. it's got a little decorative rug and throw pillows all around it and he has a couple little wooden shelves to store all his books in. if he has something hot to drink i think he easily knocks out there after a hard match. also Piston would be a knick knack fan no doubt (meee); he probably has many, many tiny porcelain figures of small animals like deers and any kind of feline that he displays on their own special shelf, as well as many collectable trinkets he's gathered from traveling to the respective home countries of his friends 🥹 he tidies them as stress relief if he's having a bad day 4 sure 🩷

[solesommerso]

don’t call me kid || on my tiktok